rqchao/spongebob · Datasets at Hugging Face

Non-SpongeBob Dialogue stringlengths 1 11.1k	SpongeBob Response stringlengths 1 2.74k
Squidward: I'm waiting! Mr. Krabs: Coming!	This just isn't adding up.
Patrick: Pudding?	We must be missing something. Patrick, we're going to need help even more expert than you.
Frankie Billy: Um, hello? Anybody here? Mr. Krabs: Oh, for the love of peat moss. Frankie Billy: Anybody at all? Hmm, maybe they're on their lunch bre-- Frankie Billy: Um, aren't you gonna wash your...... Mr. Krabs: How long do I have to keep this up? Squidward: Oh, it's gonna be a long, slow recovery. Time to pop my back barnacles. OWS Manager: Office Workers Safety Department. I'm here to investigate the accident. Mr. Krabs: Oh, no! Squidward: Oh, yes! Mr. Krabs: Squidward, after all I've done for you, you've called the OWS?!	He didn't call them, Mr. Krabs, we did. I needed help investigating the accident. Right, buddy?
Patrick: Uh, breakfast, green, Finland. Squidward: Well I, for one, plan to give him my full cooperation. Anything I can do, inspector? OWS Manager: So, this is where the accident occurred. Can anyone tell me what happened? Squidward: I'll be glad to... I mean, I can re-live the whole tragic episode, if I must. It was just another day at the Krusty Krab. I was at the register, giving it a nice shining between orders, when something caught my eye; a patty bun with 10 seeds, instead of 11. I wasn't about to stand idly by and allow a customer go without all his guaranteed nutrients and vitamins. I must replace it with a proper bun!, I said. I dashed into action. Squidward: Excuse me, sir. Frankie Billy: What a diligent and charming individual. Squidward: That's when I entered the back room to grab a new bun. Just as I was about to reach for one, I heard a slight creek, and that's when the chain snapped, and then, slam! My heroic and brave actions were halted by an unsafe shelf. Disoriented and in pain, I collapsed, and lay for nearly six hours crying softly for help. Help! H-help! Help. The worst part, though, is...is that I didn't get that kind gentleman his new bun. OWS Manager: Hmmm, I see. As you know, certain penalties are involved... Mr. Krabs: Oh, no... OWS Manager: One... Dollar. Mr. Krabs: No! Why?! Why, why?! Huh? What's this? Hold on a second. Me video surveillance camera! Squidward: What?! Mr. Krabs: I forgot. I, uh, um, borrowed that from the airport. Now, let's see what really happened here. You... f-f-f-f-f-faker! Not to mention you were sleeping on the job! Squidward: What are you going to do to me? Mr. Krabs: I'm gonna make you pay. Squidward: Oh, no!	Well, Patrick, here it is, the Palace of Pranks, the greatest novelty shop in Bikini Bottom. All the greatest pranksters shop here. This is where I got my gag seanut brittle can.
Patrick: Oh, boy, Seanut Brittle - gimmie!	Patrick, wait, it's a booby trap, remember?
Patrick: Nice try, SquarePants, but it's not gonna work this time. I'm gonna have some of your delicious Seanut Brittle! Where's the Seanut Brittle?	That gets funnier every time you say it, Patrick. Come on, let's go inside.
Patrick: Seanut Brittle?	Ah! Nothing compares to the smell of cheap plastic novelty items. Pranks, gags, and gross-out toys as far as the eye can see! Isn't it everything I said it would be, Patrick?
Patrick: Hey, Seanut Brittle! Oh, darn it, not again! Frank: Good to see you, SpongeBob. How's my number one customer doing?	Great, Frank. This is my friend Patrick. He wants to become a prankster, too.
Frank: Well, pleasure to meet you, Patrick. That's your first lesson, son, the granddaddy of all pranks. The joy buzzer. Patrick: I don't get it. Frank: You don't have to get it. The prank is for the enjoyment of the prankster.	You see, Patrick, Frank here is the master. I learned all I know about pranks from him. Okay, Frank, let's see what you've got.
Frank: Well, this came in just this morning. Have some gum. Ha! Exploding chewing gum. Only $9.95. Patrick: I don't get it.	What can we get for one dollar?
Frank: One dollar will get you this fake gag dollar - fool your friends into thinking you've got a real dollar.	What else have you got?
Frank: A whoopee cushion.	Nah.
Frank: Fake vomit.	No.
Frank: Real vomit?	Eugghh. Don't you have anything good?
Frank: Well, there is one prank that I've been saving for a real top of the line prankster. Invisible Spray!	Wow, invisible spray!
Patrick: But I can see it.	Gee, Patrick, just think of the pranks we could pull with this.
Frank: Good choice. Now be careful with that stuff, boys. It stains clothes.	Thanks, Frank. Here it is, Patrick. The ultimate prank-- invisible spray.
Patrick: What are we gonna do with it?	I know! We'll go spray the park bench and then sit on it, and when people walk by, we'll be floating in midair.
Nat: They're floating in midair! Tina-Fran: How do they do that? Patrick: That's the ultimate prank! Good idea, SpongeBob!	Well, let's get started.
Patrick: Okay, I'm ready.	Any particular reason you took your pants off?
Patrick: Well, that stuff stains clothes, right?	That it does, Patrick, that it does. Good thinking. Here, hold this a second. Okay, Patrick, give me the can.
Patrick: I think since spraying the park bench was my idea, I should get to spray it.	Patrick, spraying the park bench was my idea.
Patrick: Yeah, but I said it was a good idea!	Give me that thing.
Patrick: Hey, the invisible spray works! Tom: And on your right, if you look, you'll see two naked guys fighting over a can of paint!	Oh my gosh, Patrick, help me find our clothes!
Patrick: I gotta hand it to you, SpongeBob. You look kinda funny.	Righty, where are you? No one messes with Righty! We'll see how you like it! Kind of gives you an empty feeling, huh?
Patrick: Yeah. I see what you mean.	No guts, no glory!
Narrator: Several bad puns later... Patrick: Oh, hey, I think this thing is empty.	Oh, no, it can't be! How are we going to pull off the ultimate prank? Thanks a lot, Patrick. You used the last of it.
Patrick: Hey, I think I found our pants. Oops! Here, these are yours.	Oh, forget the pants, Patrick. Let's get home and wash this paint off.
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, do you know what time it is?	Oh sure, it's...half past invisible.
Patrick: Gee, it's getting late.	Let's ask this guy. Excuse me, sir, but do you have the time?
Nat: Sure. It's, uh, ten to three.	Thank you.
Nat: Don't mention it. Patrick: Don't mention what? Nat: Uh, who said that? Patrick: Me. Nat: AHHH! GHOSTS! Nat's eyes: Aaahhh!! Patrick: Hey! I'm no ghost. The nerve of that guy and his driving eyeballs.	Wait a second, Patrick, my brain just hatched an idea.
Patrick: Lay it on me.	Okay, we're invisible, right?
Patrick: Yeah.	If that guy thought we were ghosts, we could haunt everybody in Bikini Bottom. Oh, it's the ultimate prank.
SpongeBob and Patrick: Whoo! High five!	Let's go scare us some suckers.
Sandy: Huh? Well, that's funny. I thought I heard voices. Huh? I thought I left that glass of peanut juice on the table. And didn't I toss that old lamp out yesterday? And since when did I acquire all these portraits of Patrick?! SpongeBob and Patrick: We're ghoooosts. Sandy: I knew it was you guys! Alright, joke's over. Take off the sheets. It is ghosts!	Boy, we really scared her!
Patrick: Who's gonna be our next victim?	A better question would be, who isn't?
Mrs. Puff: Double-dark deep-sea light diet cake! You will soon be mine. Oh! GHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSTS!!!!! Squidward: Huh? Squidward: GHOSTS!!! SpongeBob and Patrick: COWaAaBuuUUnggaAAaaAaaAA!!! Bill: GHOSTS! AHHH! Gale: Ghosts! Fred: Ghosts! Lonnie: Ghosts! Francis: Ghosts! Sandals: Toast. Harold: Ghosts!	It's official - we're the greatest pranksters ever. The whole town thinks we're ghosts.
Patrick: Yeah.	There's only one guy left to scare, and we'll have pranked everybody in Bikini Bottom-- Mr. Krabs.
Patrick: It says he isn't scared of ghosts.	We'll see about that!
Mr. Krabs: Ghosts? Ha! I ain't afraid of no ghosts. Every sailor knows a ghost won't come near a fella as long as he's wearing his spotted neckerchief... And his dried-up sea leprechaun. And a bit of gold never hurt. But to be on the safe side, I'm also wearing me pants in a melvin knot! Got me shivering timber brace, and the hairs on the back of me neck are taped down! And I'm all wrapped up in a suit of anti-ghost armor... and if none of this stuff works, I've got me secret weapon—the specter deflector! So just try and get me, you ghosts! Bring it on! SpongeBob and Patrick: KraaaAAAAbBBbsss! Mr. Krabs: Wha?	Krabs, we've come to haunt yooOOOOuuUUUuuu!
Mr. Krabs: Stay back, I'm well-armed! Mr. Krabs: I'm warning ya! Mr. Krabs: Ooh! SpongeBob and Patrick: Boo. Mr. Krabs: I gotta get out of here!	You can't escape, Krabs. We've glued the door shut.
Mr. Krabs: You'll never get me! Patrick: Nice try, Krabs, but we've replaced all the glass with rubber!	Too late, Krabs, we've already clogged all the toilets.
Mr. Krabs: Please, spirits, leave me be. Patrick: We got him good, SpongeBob.	Wait, Patrick, I've got one more idea. You're going to pay, Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: No, spirits, please!	Pay!
Mr. Krabs: No!	PaaAAAAyyYYyyy!
Mr. Krabs: NOOOO!!!!! Don't burn me dollar! Well, well, well, if it isn't SpongeBob and Patrick!	I know not these names of which you speak.
Patrick: Uh, SpongeBob. SpongeBob, we're visible again. Mr. Krabs: So you two are the Bikini Bottom ghosts?	We're really sorry, Mr. Krabs. Please don't chop us into little pieces and eat 'em.
Mr. Krabs: Hey, come on, boys, I'm hip! I pulled my share of pranks when I was your age. Had me some laughs. That's what we did tonight, right? We had a good laugh. Come on, laugh with me. Uh, any particular reason you boys are naked?	Yeah, the invisible paint stains clothes.
Mr. Krabs: Of course it does. Well, you two better hurry home before someone sees ya nude.	Yeah, I think I'd die of embarrassment if that happened.
Patrick: Me too. Mr. Krabs: Woo, now we wouldn't want that, would we? It's getting late now. You two pranksters better get going.	Mr. Krabs, thanks for being such a good sport.
Mr. Krabs: Don't mention it.	That Mr. Krabs, always looking out for me. What a guy!
Patrick: Yeah! Mr. Krabs: The Krusty Krab presents: LIVE NUDE PRANKSTERS! Starring the Bikini Bottom Ghosts!	Patrick!
Patrick: Yeah?	We should have bought the whoopee cushion!
Squidward: Squidward, my man, you are perfect! Oh, no, my kelp garden is all wilted! Don't worry, fellas, I've got just the thing to perk you up. Kelp Grow! Hold still. Patrick: They're pretty. Squidward: Patrick?	And SpongeBob!
Squidward: What are you two doing here?	Patrick is helping me to do good deeds today, like trimming your kelp garden.
Squidward: Stop eating my kelp! Patrick: Okay, okay, jeez. Try to help a fella out. I'll just have to eat this ice cream cone instead. Squidward: Oh, do you like to eat ice cream, Patrick? Patrick: Yeah. Squidward: Then have some more! Still want that ice cream? Patrick: Boy, I do! Thanks, Squidward. Want some, SpongeBob? Last one to the cone is a rotten clam! Squidward: Are you done yet? Patrick: All done.	Wow, I wish I had a bottle of that kelp grow stuff.
Patrick: Here you go, SpongeBob. Squidward: Hey!	Thank you, Patrick. You know, my shoes feel kinda tight. Huh, nice and roomy.
Patrick: Do you want your grow juice back? Squidward: Oh, no, I only paid for it. I wouldn't want to deprive you of it. Patrick: Okay. Squidward: Give me that! Patrick: But you said you didn't want it. Squidward: Fine! Why don't you two use it for your good deeds?	That's a great idea, Squidward!
Patrick: Yeah, I'll go first. Squidward: What did you do? SpongeBob and Patrick: Ooh! Patrick: Quite an improvement, don't you think?	Oh, yes, I agree completely. Come on, Patrick, let's do some good deeding!
Patrick: Yay! Squidward: Hey, get back here, and fix my nose!	Hey, Gary, that shell of yours looks a little cramped.
Gary: Meow.	There, now you've got plenty of space.
Gary: Meow. Squidward: Aha, they went this way. Gary: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Squidward: Oh, tell me about it. Gary: Meow.	There he is.
Patrick: Get ready.	Now, Patrick! There you go, Mr. Krabs. You always wanted to make big money. Good deed accomplished! I ask for no reward.
Patrick: You're a saint, SpongeBob! A saint!	I know, and it is a burden I must carry. But time's a wasting! We need another good deed!
Patrick: Oh, I got one! Um...you know that thing?	Um, right, that thing that we did that day.
Patrick: No, the other one. Um... Squidward: SpongeBob! Hey! Look at what you did to me. You better fix my nose, or you'll hear from my lawyer!	Are you sure?
Patrick: Yeah, you'd be ugly again. Squidward: Yes, I'm sure!	Hmm, how to fix his nose?
Patrick: What if you turn the bottle upside down, maybe it will shrink it?	Patrick, that's brilliant!
Squidward: No, wait, don't.	That didn't work.
Patrick: Well, try it again.	Hmm. I think I'll just even him out. First, a bigger head.
Patrick: Now his body is too small.	Right, too small.
Patrick: Arms are too short. Legs are too short. Other arm. Feet too small. Teeth! Belly button. Perfect! Squidward: I look horrible! SpongeBob and Patrick: Ew! He inked! Squidward: Well, pardon my anatomy! What's happening? SpongeBob and Patrick: All right! Squidward: What did you do to me?! Patrick: I know! I know! Um, made you a monster!	And a giant.
SpongeBob and Patrick: A giant monster! Squidward: I don't want to be a giant lumbering monster! What will I do now?	That's easy, play giant lumbering monster tag!
Patrick: Yeah! Yeah! You chase us!	And we run around and scream like crazy! Try and catch us, giant monster Squidward!
Squidward: SpongeBob, come back here!	This is really fun.
Patrick: I know. We should do this... ...more often. Nancy: A monster! Harold, Nat, Shubie, Sally, Nazz, and Sadie: Monster! Medieval Fish: Monster! Male Fish: Huh?	You are very good at pretending, Squidward. Look how you're all sweaty and angry, and you got the whole town to play along.
Squidward: What the? Miss Shell: Kick him! Canadian Fish: Let's get him and make back bacon! Lifeguard: Scoop out his... eyeballs and use 'em as... giant... misshapen soccer balls! Taylor: Wait. Maybe he's a nice monster, like in my story book. Lifeguard: Oh, right, I, I haven't thought of that. Well, are you?	Oh, goodness gracious, yes. Squidward is the nicest giant of them all.
Patrick: Yeah! Squidward, tell them about all those times that you didn't punch me in the face.	Even though you really wanted to.
Squidward: Oh, quiet, you moron! Nazz: He hurt the little one's feelings. Shubie: Why, that's not very nice at all. Lifeguard: Take him down, boys! Squidward: Ow! Lifeguard: This oughta fix him. Squidward: Okay, okay, I'm nice. Now will you leave me alone? Sadie: Oh, yeah? Then prove it! Lifeguard: Yeah! Are you nice enough to...? Um... Nazz: Compliment me on my new hairdo? Squidward: Yeah, sure, whatever. Nazz: Oh, thank you. Camp Councilor: Let the junior guppies camp out under your toenails? Skier: Take me to the top of Mount Humongous? Whee...! Farmer: Blow on my old windmill? Tyler: Do my homework? Nat: Dust my attic? Taylor: Feed my snail? Shubie: Wow, this giant really is friendly after all. Harold: He taught my grandmother how to read! Lifeguard: He helped me start my own blimp ride company. Nat: He helped me build a... a... All: Bless you. Gesundheit. Ahem? Squidward: What? Evelyn: He didn't say bless you. Lifeguard: Get him! Shubie: Where'd he go? Lifeguard: Is that him over there? Squidward: Uhh, I'm a lamppost? Lifeguard: Oh. Well, let's go check down by the creek! We'll teach him to dip his feet! Squidward: Well, Squidward, I guess this is your new life. And this is your new bed. Good night, old life. I'll miss you.	Good night, Squidward.
Squidward: Where are you?	Patrick and I are having a sleepover, in your belly button.
Squidward: What the? Get out of there! You two have ruined my life!	Oh, Patrick, this is terrible! Squidward did not like the kindness we did him.
Patrick: So?	We shall do him another. We did it!
Squidward: What the?	Since our last kindness didn't go so well, we brought you a new one.
Squidward: A giant clarinet? And it sounds divine! Now I'm too small to play my giant clarinet! It was the most beautiful thing I've ever played! Well, at least I still have my kelp garden. What? You cut it down?	We used your kelp to make a kelp-mâché clarinet. Another funtastic day at Glove World!
Bus Driver: Ahem.	Let me get my wallet. Wait, let me check this pocket. No... Patrick? Do you have any change?
Patrick: How much do you need?	How much is it?
Bus Driver: Fifty cents.	Fifty cents.
Patrick: Nope.	Lemme check my other poc-
Bus Driver: Forget it!	What did you say?
Bus Driver: Just take your seat!	Thanks, mister.
Bus Driver: Yeah, whatev- Patrick: Show me what you got at Glove World!	Okay! Here's my glove light.
Patrick: Wow...	I see you!
Patrick: I got gloves for my glove action-figure!	Cool!
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob?	Yeah, Patrick?
Patrick: Where's 'Leaving Bikini Bottom'?	Where did you see that?
Patrick: We just passed the sign. 'You are now in Leaving Bikini Bottom'.	What?!
Patrick: What's wrong, SpongeBob?	Patrick, I think we're on the wrong... ...bus! But, sir, we need to get back to Bikini Bottom.
Bus Driver: Oh, well. Patrick: What is this, SpongeBob?	Rock Bottom. It sure is weird around here. Kinda different, even the soil looks different.
Green Soil: Do you... mind... putting me down? Patrick: Bob, I don't like it here. It's dark and scary. I don't wanna be here. I wanna go home. Look, I can't even tell the bathrooms apart!	Uhh, that's an easy one, Patrick. We just wait for somebody to come out and then you'll know. Maybe we should wait for one more.

Squidward: I'm waiting! Mr. Krabs: Coming!

This just isn't adding up.

Patrick: Pudding?

We must be missing something. Patrick, we're going to need help even more expert than you.

Frankie Billy: Um, hello? Anybody here? Mr. Krabs: Oh, for the love of peat moss. Frankie Billy: Anybody at all? Hmm, maybe they're on their lunch bre-- Frankie Billy: Um, aren't you gonna wash your...... Mr. Krabs: How long do I have to keep this up? Squidward: Oh, it's gonna be a long, slow recovery. Time to pop my back barnacles. OWS Manager: Office Workers Safety Department. I'm here to investigate the accident. Mr. Krabs: Oh, no! Squidward: Oh, yes! Mr. Krabs: Squidward, after all I've done for you, you've called the OWS?!

He didn't call them, Mr. Krabs, we did. I needed help investigating the accident. Right, buddy?

Patrick: Uh, breakfast, green, Finland. Squidward: Well I, for one, plan to give him my full cooperation. Anything I can do, inspector? OWS Manager: So, this is where the accident occurred. Can anyone tell me what happened? Squidward: I'll be glad to... I mean, I can re-live the whole tragic episode, if I must. It was just another day at the Krusty Krab. I was at the register, giving it a nice shining between orders, when something caught my eye; a patty bun with 10 seeds, instead of 11. I wasn't about to stand idly by and allow a customer go without all his guaranteed nutrients and vitamins. I must replace it with a proper bun!, I said. I dashed into action. Squidward: Excuse me, sir. Frankie Billy: What a diligent and charming individual. Squidward: That's when I entered the back room to grab a new bun. Just as I was about to reach for one, I heard a slight creek, and that's when the chain snapped, and then, slam! My heroic and brave actions were halted by an unsafe shelf. Disoriented and in pain, I collapsed, and lay for nearly six hours crying softly for help. Help! H-help! Help. The worst part, though, is...is that I didn't get that kind gentleman his new bun. OWS Manager: Hmmm, I see. As you know, certain penalties are involved... Mr. Krabs: Oh, no... OWS Manager: One... Dollar. Mr. Krabs: No! Why?! Why, why?! Huh? What's this? Hold on a second. Me video surveillance camera! Squidward: What?! Mr. Krabs: I forgot. I, uh, um, borrowed that from the airport. Now, let's see what really happened here. You... f-f-f-f-f-faker! Not to mention you were sleeping on the job! Squidward: What are you going to do to me? Mr. Krabs: I'm gonna make you pay. Squidward: Oh, no!

Well, Patrick, here it is, the Palace of Pranks, the greatest novelty shop in Bikini Bottom. All the greatest pranksters shop here. This is where I got my gag seanut brittle can.

Patrick: Oh, boy, Seanut Brittle - gimmie!

Patrick, wait, it's a booby trap, remember?

Patrick: Nice try, SquarePants, but it's not gonna work this time. I'm gonna have some of your delicious Seanut Brittle! Where's the Seanut Brittle?

That gets funnier every time you say it, Patrick. Come on, let's go inside.

Patrick: Seanut Brittle?

Ah! Nothing compares to the smell of cheap plastic novelty items. Pranks, gags, and gross-out toys as far as the eye can see! Isn't it everything I said it would be, Patrick?

Patrick: Hey, Seanut Brittle! Oh, darn it, not again! Frank: Good to see you, SpongeBob. How's my number one customer doing?

Great, Frank. This is my friend Patrick. He wants to become a prankster, too.

Frank: Well, pleasure to meet you, Patrick. That's your first lesson, son, the granddaddy of all pranks. The joy buzzer. Patrick: I don't get it. Frank: You don't have to get it. The prank is for the enjoyment of the prankster.

You see, Patrick, Frank here is the master. I learned all I know about pranks from him. Okay, Frank, let's see what you've got.

Frank: Well, this came in just this morning. Have some gum. Ha! Exploding chewing gum. Only $9.95. Patrick: I don't get it.

What can we get for one dollar?

Frank: One dollar will get you this fake gag dollar - fool your friends into thinking you've got a real dollar.

What else have you got?

Frank: A whoopee cushion.

Nah.

Frank: Fake vomit.

No.

Frank: Real vomit?

Eugghh. Don't you have anything good?

Frank: Well, there is one prank that I've been saving for a real top of the line prankster. Invisible Spray!

Wow, invisible spray!

Patrick: But I can see it.

Gee, Patrick, just think of the pranks we could pull with this.

Frank: Good choice. Now be careful with that stuff, boys. It stains clothes.

Thanks, Frank. Here it is, Patrick. The ultimate prank-- invisible spray.

Patrick: What are we gonna do with it?

I know! We'll go spray the park bench and then sit on it, and when people walk by, we'll be floating in midair.

Nat: They're floating in midair! Tina-Fran: How do they do that? Patrick: That's the ultimate prank! Good idea, SpongeBob!

Well, let's get started.

Patrick: Okay, I'm ready.

Any particular reason you took your pants off?

Patrick: Well, that stuff stains clothes, right?

That it does, Patrick, that it does. Good thinking. Here, hold this a second. Okay, Patrick, give me the can.

Patrick: I think since spraying the park bench was my idea, I should get to spray it.

Patrick, spraying the park bench was my idea.

Patrick: Yeah, but I said it was a good idea!

Give me that thing.

Patrick: Hey, the invisible spray works! Tom: And on your right, if you look, you'll see two naked guys fighting over a can of paint!

Oh my gosh, Patrick, help me find our clothes!

Patrick: I gotta hand it to you, SpongeBob. You look kinda funny.

Righty, where are you? No one messes with Righty! We'll see how you like it! Kind of gives you an empty feeling, huh?

Patrick: Yeah. I see what you mean.

No guts, no glory!

Narrator: Several bad puns later... Patrick: Oh, hey, I think this thing is empty.

Oh, no, it can't be! How are we going to pull off the ultimate prank? Thanks a lot, Patrick. You used the last of it.

Patrick: Hey, I think I found our pants. Oops! Here, these are yours.

Oh, forget the pants, Patrick. Let's get home and wash this paint off.

Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, do you know what time it is?

Oh sure, it's...half past invisible.

Patrick: Gee, it's getting late.

Let's ask this guy. Excuse me, sir, but do you have the time?

Nat: Sure. It's, uh, ten to three.

Thank you.

Nat: Don't mention it. Patrick: Don't mention what? Nat: Uh, who said that? Patrick: Me. Nat: AHHH! GHOSTS! Nat's eyes: Aaahhh!! Patrick: Hey! I'm no ghost. The nerve of that guy and his driving eyeballs.

Wait a second, Patrick, my brain just hatched an idea.

Patrick: Lay it on me.

Okay, we're invisible, right?

Patrick: Yeah.

If that guy thought we were ghosts, we could haunt everybody in Bikini Bottom. Oh, it's the ultimate prank.

SpongeBob and Patrick: Whoo! High five!

Let's go scare us some suckers.

Sandy: Huh? Well, that's funny. I thought I heard voices. Huh? I thought I left that glass of peanut juice on the table. And didn't I toss that old lamp out yesterday? And since when did I acquire all these portraits of Patrick?! SpongeBob and Patrick: We're ghoooosts. Sandy: I knew it was you guys! Alright, joke's over. Take off the sheets. It is ghosts!

Boy, we really scared her!

Patrick: Who's gonna be our next victim?

A better question would be, who isn't?

Mrs. Puff: Double-dark deep-sea light diet cake! You will soon be mine. Oh! GHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSTS!!!!! Squidward: Huh? Squidward: GHOSTS!!! SpongeBob and Patrick: COWaAaBuuUUnggaAAaaAaaAA!!! Bill: GHOSTS! AHHH! Gale: Ghosts! Fred: Ghosts! Lonnie: Ghosts! Francis: Ghosts! Sandals: Toast. Harold: Ghosts!

It's official - we're the greatest pranksters ever. The whole town thinks we're ghosts.

Patrick: Yeah.

There's only one guy left to scare, and we'll have pranked everybody in Bikini Bottom-- Mr. Krabs.

Patrick: It says he isn't scared of ghosts.

We'll see about that!

Mr. Krabs: Ghosts? Ha! I ain't afraid of no ghosts. Every sailor knows a ghost won't come near a fella as long as he's wearing his spotted neckerchief... And his dried-up sea leprechaun. And a bit of gold never hurt. But to be on the safe side, I'm also wearing me pants in a melvin knot! Got me shivering timber brace, and the hairs on the back of me neck are taped down! And I'm all wrapped up in a suit of anti-ghost armor... and if none of this stuff works, I've got me secret weapon—the specter deflector! So just try and get me, you ghosts! Bring it on! SpongeBob and Patrick: KraaaAAAAbBBbsss! Mr. Krabs: Wha?

Krabs, we've come to haunt yooOOOOuuUUUuuu!

Mr. Krabs: Stay back, I'm well-armed! Mr. Krabs: I'm warning ya! Mr. Krabs: Ooh! SpongeBob and Patrick: Boo. Mr. Krabs: I gotta get out of here!

You can't escape, Krabs. We've glued the door shut.

Mr. Krabs: You'll never get me! Patrick: Nice try, Krabs, but we've replaced all the glass with rubber!

Too late, Krabs, we've already clogged all the toilets.

Mr. Krabs: Please, spirits, leave me be. Patrick: We got him good, SpongeBob.

Wait, Patrick, I've got one more idea. You're going to pay, Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: No, spirits, please!

Pay!

Mr. Krabs: No!

PaaAAAAyyYYyyy!

Mr. Krabs: NOOOO!!!!! Don't burn me dollar! Well, well, well, if it isn't SpongeBob and Patrick!

I know not these names of which you speak.

Patrick: Uh, SpongeBob. SpongeBob, we're visible again. Mr. Krabs: So you two are the Bikini Bottom ghosts?

We're really sorry, Mr. Krabs. Please don't chop us into little pieces and eat 'em.

Mr. Krabs: Hey, come on, boys, I'm hip! I pulled my share of pranks when I was your age. Had me some laughs. That's what we did tonight, right? We had a good laugh. Come on, laugh with me. Uh, any particular reason you boys are naked?

Yeah, the invisible paint stains clothes.

Mr. Krabs: Of course it does. Well, you two better hurry home before someone sees ya nude.

Yeah, I think I'd die of embarrassment if that happened.

Patrick: Me too. Mr. Krabs: Woo, now we wouldn't want that, would we? It's getting late now. You two pranksters better get going.

Mr. Krabs, thanks for being such a good sport.

Mr. Krabs: Don't mention it.

That Mr. Krabs, always looking out for me. What a guy!

Patrick: Yeah! Mr. Krabs: The Krusty Krab presents: LIVE NUDE PRANKSTERS! Starring the Bikini Bottom Ghosts!

Patrick!

Patrick: Yeah?

We should have bought the whoopee cushion!

Squidward: Squidward, my man, you are perfect! Oh, no, my kelp garden is all wilted! Don't worry, fellas, I've got just the thing to perk you up. Kelp Grow! Hold still. Patrick: They're pretty. Squidward: Patrick?

And SpongeBob!

Squidward: What are you two doing here?

Patrick is helping me to do good deeds today, like trimming your kelp garden.

Squidward: Stop eating my kelp! Patrick: Okay, okay, jeez. Try to help a fella out. I'll just have to eat this ice cream cone instead. Squidward: Oh, do you like to eat ice cream, Patrick? Patrick: Yeah. Squidward: Then have some more! Still want that ice cream? Patrick: Boy, I do! Thanks, Squidward. Want some, SpongeBob? Last one to the cone is a rotten clam! Squidward: Are you done yet? Patrick: All done.

Wow, I wish I had a bottle of that kelp grow stuff.

Patrick: Here you go, SpongeBob. Squidward: Hey!

Thank you, Patrick. You know, my shoes feel kinda tight. Huh, nice and roomy.

Patrick: Do you want your grow juice back? Squidward: Oh, no, I only paid for it. I wouldn't want to deprive you of it. Patrick: Okay. Squidward: Give me that! Patrick: But you said you didn't want it. Squidward: Fine! Why don't you two use it for your good deeds?

That's a great idea, Squidward!

Patrick: Yeah, I'll go first. Squidward: What did you do? SpongeBob and Patrick: Ooh! Patrick: Quite an improvement, don't you think?

Oh, yes, I agree completely. Come on, Patrick, let's do some good deeding!

Patrick: Yay! Squidward: Hey, get back here, and fix my nose!

Hey, Gary, that shell of yours looks a little cramped.

Gary: Meow.

There, now you've got plenty of space.

Gary: Meow. Squidward: Aha, they went this way. Gary: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Squidward: Oh, tell me about it. Gary: Meow.

There he is.

Patrick: Get ready.

Now, Patrick! There you go, Mr. Krabs. You always wanted to make big money. Good deed accomplished! I ask for no reward.

Patrick: You're a saint, SpongeBob! A saint!

I know, and it is a burden I must carry. But time's a wasting! We need another good deed!

Patrick: Oh, I got one! Um...you know that thing?

Um, right, that thing that we did that day.

Patrick: No, the other one. Um... Squidward: SpongeBob! Hey! Look at what you did to me. You better fix my nose, or you'll hear from my lawyer!

Are you sure?

Patrick: Yeah, you'd be ugly again. Squidward: Yes, I'm sure!

Hmm, how to fix his nose?

Patrick: What if you turn the bottle upside down, maybe it will shrink it?

Patrick, that's brilliant!

Squidward: No, wait, don't.

That didn't work.

Patrick: Well, try it again.

Hmm. I think I'll just even him out. First, a bigger head.

Patrick: Now his body is too small.

Right, too small.

Patrick: Arms are too short. Legs are too short. Other arm. Feet too small. Teeth! Belly button. Perfect! Squidward: I look horrible! SpongeBob and Patrick: Ew! He inked! Squidward: Well, pardon my anatomy! What's happening? SpongeBob and Patrick: All right! Squidward: What did you do to me?! Patrick: I know! I know! Um, made you a monster!

And a giant.

SpongeBob and Patrick: A giant monster! Squidward: I don't want to be a giant lumbering monster! What will I do now?

That's easy, play giant lumbering monster tag!

Patrick: Yeah! Yeah! You chase us!

And we run around and scream like crazy! Try and catch us, giant monster Squidward!

Squidward: SpongeBob, come back here!

This is really fun.

Patrick: I know. We should do this... ...more often. Nancy: A monster! Harold, Nat, Shubie, Sally, Nazz, and Sadie: Monster! Medieval Fish: Monster! Male Fish: Huh?

You are very good at pretending, Squidward. Look how you're all sweaty and angry, and you got the whole town to play along.

Squidward: What the? Miss Shell: Kick him! Canadian Fish: Let's get him and make back bacon! Lifeguard: Scoop out his... eyeballs and use 'em as... giant... misshapen soccer balls! Taylor: Wait. Maybe he's a nice monster, like in my story book. Lifeguard: Oh, right, I, I haven't thought of that. Well, are you?

Oh, goodness gracious, yes. Squidward is the nicest giant of them all.

Patrick: Yeah! Squidward, tell them about all those times that you didn't punch me in the face.

Even though you really wanted to.

Squidward: Oh, quiet, you moron! Nazz: He hurt the little one's feelings. Shubie: Why, that's not very nice at all. Lifeguard: Take him down, boys! Squidward: Ow! Lifeguard: This oughta fix him. Squidward: Okay, okay, I'm nice. Now will you leave me alone? Sadie: Oh, yeah? Then prove it! Lifeguard: Yeah! Are you nice enough to...? Um... Nazz: Compliment me on my new hairdo? Squidward: Yeah, sure, whatever. Nazz: Oh, thank you. Camp Councilor: Let the junior guppies camp out under your toenails? Skier: Take me to the top of Mount Humongous? Whee...! Farmer: Blow on my old windmill? Tyler: Do my homework? Nat: Dust my attic? Taylor: Feed my snail? Shubie: Wow, this giant really is friendly after all. Harold: He taught my grandmother how to read! Lifeguard: He helped me start my own blimp ride company. Nat: He helped me build a... a... All: Bless you. Gesundheit. Ahem? Squidward: What? Evelyn: He didn't say bless you. Lifeguard: Get him! Shubie: Where'd he go? Lifeguard: Is that him over there? Squidward: Uhh, I'm a lamppost? Lifeguard: Oh. Well, let's go check down by the creek! We'll teach him to dip his feet! Squidward: Well, Squidward, I guess this is your new life. And this is your new bed. Good night, old life. I'll miss you.

Good night, Squidward.

Squidward: Where are you?

Patrick and I are having a sleepover, in your belly button.

Squidward: What the? Get out of there! You two have ruined my life!

Oh, Patrick, this is terrible! Squidward did not like the kindness we did him.

Patrick: So?

We shall do him another. We did it!

Squidward: What the?

Since our last kindness didn't go so well, we brought you a new one.

Squidward: A giant clarinet? And it sounds divine! Now I'm too small to play my giant clarinet! It was the most beautiful thing I've ever played! Well, at least I still have my kelp garden. What? You cut it down?

We used your kelp to make a kelp-mâché clarinet. Another funtastic day at Glove World!

Bus Driver: Ahem.

Let me get my wallet. Wait, let me check this pocket. No... Patrick? Do you have any change?

Patrick: How much do you need?

How much is it?

Bus Driver: Fifty cents.

Fifty cents.

Patrick: Nope.

Lemme check my other poc-

Bus Driver: Forget it!

What did you say?

Bus Driver: Just take your seat!

Thanks, mister.

Bus Driver: Yeah, whatev- Patrick: Show me what you got at Glove World!

Okay! Here's my glove light.

Patrick: Wow...

I see you!

Patrick: I got gloves for my glove action-figure!

Cool!

Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob?

Yeah, Patrick?

Patrick: Where's 'Leaving Bikini Bottom'?

Where did you see that?

Patrick: We just passed the sign. 'You are now in Leaving Bikini Bottom'.

What?!

Patrick: What's wrong, SpongeBob?

Patrick, I think we're on the wrong... ...bus! But, sir, we need to get back to Bikini Bottom.

Bus Driver: Oh, well. Patrick: What is this, SpongeBob?

Rock Bottom. It sure is weird around here. Kinda different, even the soil looks different.

Green Soil: Do you... mind... putting me down? Patrick: Bob, I don't like it here. It's dark and scary. I don't wanna be here. I wanna go home. Look, I can't even tell the bathrooms apart!

Uhh, that's an easy one, Patrick. We just wait for somebody to come out and then you'll know. Maybe we should wait for one more.