Non-SpongeBob Dialogue
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Flying Dutchman: Success! I knew that would get him!
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Ahh!
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SpongeBob's Skeleton: That's the scariest thing I ever saw in my life! SpongeBob's Skin: Me too. But we gotta go back. SpongeBob's Skeleton: Go back? Are you nuts? SpongeBob's Skin: Show a little backbone! We gotta save our friends! SpongeBob's Skeleton: Oh, you're right. But I'm still scared. Will you hold my hand? SpongeBob's Skin: Deal. Flying Dutchman: Ooh. Plankton: You know, I gotta say, pretty impressed with your whole evil presentation here. Nice work. I could use a guy like you to walk through walls. I take over the world, and we split it, 70-30. How's that grabbin' you? Yes, master... Flying Dutchman: I guess with friends like SpongeBob, you don't need anemones, huh, gang? Patrick: You can't talk about SpongeBob like that! Squidward: Oh, yeah? If SpongeBob's so great, where is he? Huh? Flying Dutchman: And, now, I'm going to roast your souls over a devil pit! Just like Grandma used to! Patrick: The blue fire is so hot! Sandy: My puppet?
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You let my friends go, buddy boy!
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Flying Dutchman: You were trying to scare me? Now that is funny. You couldn't frighten me in a million eternities, kid. Plankton: I think he could, master. You've never seen what's inside his brain! Flying Dutchman: His brain? Ha! What's scary about that? Plankton: I was in there once. It's too terrifying, even for ghosts! Flying Dutchman: I'll decide if it's scary or not! Flying Dutchman: Wa...Whoa! Flying Dutchman: Ah! Ah! Ah! Don't—don't! Flying Dutchman: That didn't scare me one bit. I—I bet you don't have a scary thought in your entire brain!
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Oh, scary...Hm...You know, what always scares me out of the room is when my mom takes out naked baby pictures.
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Baby SpongeBob: I wuv you this much! Flying Dutchman: I'm actually scared! So much horror! Everyone: Ahh! Sandy: Ooh. Mr. Krabs and Squidward: Oh. Patrick: Oh! I got my butt back! Sandy: I don't know what's inside that brain of yours, but I sure hope I never see it. Thanks, SpongeBob. Patrick: But did we learn anything?
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Sure. We learned not to be afraid to never be scared of being afraid again.
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Mr. Krabs: My employee saved us! Party at the Krusty Krab! For a reasonable fee. Plankton: Ugh. What happened? Whew. Must have been a nightmare. Trick-Or-Treater 1: Hey, guys! Free candy! Squidward: Ahh, finally, the weekend is here. And this isn't just any old weekend. This is the weekend that SpongeBob and Patrick go camping. Wouldn't it be great if they got lost in the woods and never came back?
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Patrick, I'm scared!
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Squidward: Ho-ho, that would be great! You've waited a long time for this. A soft bed, warm tea, a good book, and two whole days with no... What the--?! SpongeBob, aren't you two supposed to be camping?
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We are camping.
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Squidward: SpongeBob, it's not camping if you're ten feet from your house.
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Aww, it doesn't matter where you are as long as you're outdoors. While all those soft city folk are safe in their beds reading books, we're out here, pitting ourselves against the formidable forces of nature. You wanna join us?
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Squidward: No.
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Okay. Have fun inside.
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Squidward: What do you mean, have fun inside?
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Just... have fun inside. See you tomorrow.
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Squidward: Oh. Bye. You little sneak! I see what you're doing!
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What?
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Squidward: Don't think I can't see what you're doing!
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What?
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Squidward: You're saying I can't take it!
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But all I...
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Squidward: AAH! You're saying I'm soft! You think your little have fun inside challenge is gonna make me come camping with you, but that is NEVER GONNA HAPPEN! There's no way I'm gonna sit out here all night with you two losers! So, get used to it!
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Okay. Have fun inside.
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Squidward: That's it! I'm in! I'll show you camping!
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Squidward's gonna come camping with us!
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Squidward: Now you'll see how a real... ugh! ...outdoorsman does it! Here we are, my remote-controlled, self-assembling tent. Watch and learn.
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That was great, Squidward, but how do you get inside?
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Patrick: Yeah, it's all crushy-looking. Squidward: It isn't put up yet, you idiots. Huh?
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Customization!
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Patrick: GENIUS!
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He's tenderizing the ground!
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Patrick: Of course!
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WRITE THAT DOWN!! WRITE THAT DOWN!
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Squidward: Huh? Voila! But what could compare to just lying out under the stars? Well, I've worked up an appetite as big as all outdoors. Time for a little grub. I suppose you two are gonna stew up some twigs and rocks, right?
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Nope, we've got something even better! Marshmallows. Mmm... just like the astronauts eat.
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Patrick: Patrick to SpongeBob. Patrick to SpongeBob. Do you read me? Over.
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SpongeBob to Patrick. I read you. Over.
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Patrick: Patrick to SpongeBob. I like going . Over.
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SpongeBob to Patrick. Me too. SpongeBob to Patrick. Help yourself. Over.
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Patrick: Yummy! Patrick to SpongeBob! The deliciousness has landed! Squidward: Well, you two astronauts can eat marshmallows, but I'm gonna have a can of Swedish Barnacle Balls, just as soon as I can get my can opener.
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But Squidward, didn't you take a can opener when you hiked out here?
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Squidward: Why would I bother? We're ten feet from my house.
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But this is the wilderness! It just doesn't seem to fit the camping spirit.
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Patrick: Pretty weenie! Squidward: All right, all right, gimme a marshmallow. Squidward: Okay. Besides spitting molten food stuffs at me, what else do you do for fun?
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Well, after a long day of camping, it's nice to unwind with a nice, relaxing campfire song. I call this one The Campfire Song Song. ♪Let's gather 'round the campfire, and sing our campfire song. Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song. And if you don't think that we can sing it faster, then you're wrong. But it'll help if you just sing along...♪
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Patrick: ♪Bum! Bum! Bum!♪ Both: ♪C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song!♪
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♪And if you don't think that we can sing it faster, then you're wrong! But it'll help if you just sing along...♪
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Patrick: ♪Sing another song...♪
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♪C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song!♪ Patrick!
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Patrick: ♪SONG! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E...♪
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Squidward! Good! ♪It'll help... it'll help... if you just sing along!♪ ♪OH, YEAH!!!♪ Ahh, now, wasn't that relaxing?
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Squidward: No. This is relaxing!
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OH NO! I'll save you, Squidward!!! Squidward, are you all right? That's it, chew, chew, and swallow. There, better?
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Squidward: Better?! I was just fine until you lodged that ballistic junk food into my windpipe!
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But I had to! It's too dangerous to play the clarinet badly out here in the wilderness! It might attract... a sea bear.
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Squidward: A sea bear? You mean like the ones that... DON'T EXIST?!
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What are you saying?
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Squidward: There's no such thing! They're just a myth!
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Oh no, Squidward, sea bears are all too real! It says so in the Bikini Bottom Inquirer!
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Squidward: I Married a Sea Bear? Patrick: Yeah, and Fake Science Monthly! Squidward: Sea Bears and Fairy Tales Are Real? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! Patrick: Well, maybe it is stupid, but it's also dumb!
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Patrick's right, Squidward. Sea bears are no laughing matter. Why, once I met this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy's cousin...
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Squidward: You're right! I should be more careful. In fact, why don't you tell me all of the things I shouldn't do if I want to keep the sea bears away?
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Okay, that's easy. First off, don't play the clarinet.
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Squidward: Okay. Then what?
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Never wave your flashlight back and forth really fast.
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Patrick: Flashlights are their natural prey. Squidward: You're kidding.
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Don't stomp around. They take that as a challenge.
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Patrick: Yeah. Squidward: Go on.
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Don't ever eat cheese.
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Squidward: Sliced or cubed?
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Cubed. Sliced is fine.
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Squidward: Yeah, yeah, and?
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Never wear a sombrero...
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Patrick: ...in a goofy fashion!
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Or clown shoes.
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Patrick: Or a hoop skirt.
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And never...
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Patrick: Ever...
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Ever...
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Patrick: Duh! Both: SCREECH LIKE A CHIMPANZEE!!! Squidward: Wow! That's amazing how many things can set a sea bear off! Both: They're horrible! Squidward: And... and suddenly I have the sense we're all in danger! Both: Why? Squidward: I don't know... Just a feeling!!
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No.
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Squidward: Yes.
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No!
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Squidward: U! UHUHU! Both: SQUIDWARD, PLEASE DON'T!!! Squidward: Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Patrick: SpongeBob, what are we gonna do? A sea bear's sure to come and eat us!
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Don't worry, Patrick. I'll draw us an anti-sea-bear circle in the dirt.
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Patrick: Good thinking! All the experts say it's the only defense against a sea bear attack. Squidward: You guys are so gullible. See? I did everything that attracts a sea bear, and nothing happened. If sea bears really exist, why didn't one show up?
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Maybe it's because you're not wearing your sombrero in a goofy fashion.
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Squidward: Oh, pfft. Sorry, how silly of me! You mean like this?
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No. Like that. Squidward, are you okay?
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Squidward: No.
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Quick! Jump inside our anti-sea-bear circle before he comes back.
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Patrick: Yeah. Sea bears often attack more than once. Squidward: Are you crazy? A dirt circle won't stop that monster. I'm running for my life! Both: No!
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Don't run! Sea bears hate that!
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Squidward: Thanks for the tip. I guess I'll just limp home, then. Both: NOOOOOOO!!!
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They hate limping more than running!
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Squidward: Well, I guess I'll just have...
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I should have warned you about crawling.
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Squidward: What'd I do that time?!
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I don't know! I guess he just doesn't like you.
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Patrick: Pretend to be somebody else!!!
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Here, draw a circle.
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Squidward: Okay.
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That was an oval. It has to be a circle!
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Squidward: Move over! Hey, it worked! You guys saved my life!
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Yeah, I'm glad it was just a sea bear. This circle would never hold back a sea rhinoceros.
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Squidward: What attracts them? Patrick: The sound of a sea bear attack.
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Heh. Good thing we're all wearing our anti-sea-rhinoceros undergarments, heh heh. Right, Squidward?
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Squidward: Uh-huh. Pearl: Unacceptable! Mr. Krabs: Pearl! Pearl: My friends will be here in 20 minutes for my slumber party, and you're laying around in your tighty-no-longer-whities. Mr. Krabs: A man works hard all week to keep his pants off all weekend. Pearl: If you trusted me, you would leave for the night. Mr. Krabs: You make Corn Crunch come out me nose! Pearl: Dad! Mr. Krabs: Look, I'll stay upstairs in me room and not interrupt. Pearl: You promise? Mr. Krabs: I promise. Pearl: Good night, daddy. Mr. Krabs: Good night, sweetie. Pearl: Dad! Mr. Krabs: Oh, hi, pumpkin. I was just setting out refreshments for you and your friends. Pearl: Crackers and tap water? You are the cheapest crab alive! Mr. Krabs: Now don't say that. Here, would your friends like some pizza? Pearl: Well, yeah. Yeah, we would. Mr. Krabs: Okay, you can have your allowance early. Pearl: Ketchup?! Mr. Krabs: See, you put it on the crackers, and a mamma mia, you got-a one-a spicy pizza pie-a. Mr. Krabs: Okay, okay, I'm going. Pearl: Oh! They're here! Hi! Dad? Mr. Krabs: Just putting up the house rules. Pearl: No dancing, no loud music after 7:30, no touching the root beer cellar?! Mr. Krabs: And the most important one in all, no boys allowed! Isn't it glorious? Sweetie, you accidentally locked the door! Pearl: You’re not coming back in this house until after my slumber party is over! Mr. Krabs: This is mutiny! Pearl: What are you gonna do about it? Take away my allowance? Here you go! Mr. Krabs: Open this door or I'll...
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You wanna stay here? At my house? With me?
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Mr. Krabs: Whaddya say, boy?
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Yee-hee! Slumber party!
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Mr. Krabs: Maybe I should just sleep under the highway.
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We can stay up really, really late! And tell ghost stories! And trade socks!
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Mr. Krabs: Is that what girls do at slumber parties?
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No. They invite boys over and destroy the house!
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Mr. Krabs: They what?!
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You know how girls are.
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Mr. Krabs: Uh, SpongeBob, do you know anything about girls?
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Do I know any... no. But Gary does.
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Gary: Meow. TV Announcer: We now return to tonight’s scary movie: Slumber Party Zombie Attack! Girl Fish: Pillow fight! That tickles! Missed me! Mr. Krabs: Look what they’re doing to that man’s house!
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Mr. Krabs, it’s only a mov-
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Mr. Krabs: Quiet, boy! Girl Fish: Boys are here! Boy Fish #1: Hi, girls. I brought my destructive friends. Boy Fish #2: Nice to meet you! Boy Fish #1: Ha! Destroying other people's possessions is fun! Mr. Krabs: Turn it off! Turn it off, I can’t take it!
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I don't think this is the scary part yet.
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Mr. Krabs: I… said… turn it off!
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Gosh, Mr. Krabs. I never knew you were scared of zombies.
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Mr. Krabs: Not zombies, you barnacle brain! Teenagers.
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Zombie teenagers?
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Mr. Krabs: No! Pearl and her no-good friends! They're probably destroying me house right now! Like this! Oops! I don't care! It’s not mine! Oh, look! One of the home owner's most prized possessions! La-di-da!
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Mr. Krabs...
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Mr. Krabs: Ooh, this'll be fun to destroy! Whee! Now do you get it, boy?
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Oh, I do, Mr. Krabs. It must be horrible to invite people into your home and have them treat your property with so little respect!
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Mr. Krabs: That's what teenagers do! Do you want this to happen to my house?
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Gosh, no, Mr. Krabs.
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Mr. Krabs: Then get into Pearl's party and find out what they’re doing!
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Leave it to me, Mr. K. I've got the perfect disguise.
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Pearl: Hello? Girly: Hi, I'm here for the slumber party. Pearl: Do I know you? Girly: My name is... um... Girly TeenGirl! Pearl: Uh-huh. Girly: Um, I just moved here from... um... Farawayville. Pearl: I know it's you, SpongeBob SquarePants! Girly: I don't know what you're talking about! Pearl: You were sent to spy on me by my dad! Get him, girls! Girly: Girly: I am so moving back to Farawayville! Mr. Krabs: Who the heck is that?
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I don't know, but she is ug-ly! Now to put on that disguise I told you about. Ta-daaaah! Huh? Huh? Huh?
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Mr. Krabs: You are one of a kind, boy.
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Pizza delivery.
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Pearl: We didn’t order any pizza!
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Y-You didn't?
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Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, tell 'em it's from me!
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Your dad sent it. It's already paid for.
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Pearl: I’d sooner believe space aliens sent me a free pizza before I'd believe my dad would! Now, who are you?
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Um.. uh... Hey!
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Pearl: SpongeBob?!
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They're on to us, Mr. Krabs! Drive!
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Mr. Krabs: Right, boy!
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I wanted to come with you, Mr. Krabs.
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Pearl: Oh, big surprise. Dad was too cheap to buy real pizza! Mr. Krabs: What's taking SpongeBob so long? I'm getting tired of looking through his stuff. Mr. Krabs: Hello? Pizza!
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I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs. I failed you.
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Mr. Krabs: I know, son.
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Oh, Mr. Krabs, that’s my eye!
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Mr. Krabs: And it's ice cold, too. You should have been back here in 30 minutes or less! Pearl: Who is it?
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Piano repair man!
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Pearl: Okay! We'll be right out!
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Mr. Krabs, it's working!
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Pearl: Have it back by tomorrow. Okay?
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Maybe we should leave them alone, Mr. Krabs. They seem pretty trustworthy.
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Mr. Krabs: You get into that party, or you're fired!
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Yes, Mr. Krabs.
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Pearl: Whoever could it be this time?
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It's me, SpongeBob SquarePants. Can we talk, Pearl? Whale to sponge?
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Pearl: Hold the boiling oil! What do you want, SpongeBob?
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Oh, please let me stay at your party! Oh, please, oh, please, oh, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please!
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Pearl: No!
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Give me one good reason why I can't stay!
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Pearl: I can give you a hundred million billion reasons!
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Yeesh, I only asked for one.
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Pearl: Reason number one: you're just like my dad!
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Really?!
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Pearl: A no-good, dried-up, old fuddy-duddy!
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So if I prove I'm fun, can I stay?
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Pearl: Sure, SpongeBob. If you can prove you're the most fun person on the planet in the next ten seconds, you could stay.
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I only need eight! Whoo! Party! Crank it up!
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Pearl: Five seconds.
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These old newspapers are confetti in fun hands! Whoo!
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Girl 1: I’m allergic to newsprint! Oh, ow! Pearl: Two seconds! Okay, okay, I got to admit. That was kinda fun. Girl 2: I think he's hurt. Pearl: He's not hurt. See? Girl 2: Maybe he's a zombie! Girl 1: If he comes back as a zombie and eats my brain, I'm totally not going to be your friend anymore!
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Ooh, Mr. Krabs' root beer cellar. Fun!
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TV Announcer: We now return to Slumber Party Zombie Attack! Girl on TV: A zombie! Pearl: This movie isn’t all that scary! Girl 1: Yeah, that zombie looks totally fake!
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Party!
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Girls: Zombie!
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Fun!
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Girl 3: Girl 4: Zombie juice! Girl 5: Run! Pearl:
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Who wants to dance?
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Girl 6: No! I already have a zombie boyfriend!
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Let's boogie! Whoo!
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Mr. Krabs: What in Neptune's toupee is going on here? Me knick-knacks! Me root beer! Me pile of old newspapers! I was maybe gonna read that someday! I knew I shouldn't have trusted you! Pearl: Trusted me?! Your employee destroyed this house! The only boy at the party! Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob?!
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Well, Mr. Krabs, you know how boys are. Ow!
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Pearl: It's your fault my party is ruined, and all my friends have zombie shock syndrome! Girl 6: I'm too pretty to be a zombie! Pearl: We were fine with a nice simple slumber party. But now, it's gonna cost you! Mr. Krabs: Cost me what?! Pearl: Money....! Mr. Krabs: NOOO!! Pearl: Everyone having a good time? Well, you can all thank my dad for making this possible! Thank you, Daddy! Mr. Krabs: You're welcome, sweetie! Oh, this is so expensive! Boss Hog: You're not allowed any closer, sir.
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Mr. Krabs, I think I know what'll cheer you up. A mug of ice cold root beer!
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Mr. Krabs: No, SpongeBob, that doesn't cheer me up at all! Narrator: Ah, Sandy Cheeks is going out of town and has asked SpongeBob and Patrick to do a little pet-sitting for her. Patrick: Pet-sitting? Won't that hurt them? Narrator: Perhaps she should have asked someone else.
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Gee, Patrick, I didn't know you spoke bird.
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Patrick: No, that's Italian, SpongeBob. Sandy: Okay boys, this here is Birdy's food. Feed him twice a day.
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This whole sack?
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Sandy: No, just a cup's worth. This here's my cricket. He's saying hello to you. Ain't he cute?
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Uh sorry, I don't speak Italian.
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