rqchao/spongebob · Datasets at Hugging Face

Non-SpongeBob Dialogue stringlengths 1 11.1k	SpongeBob Response stringlengths 1 2.74k
Bubble Bass: The best there is? I don't think so. You lose!	But, the pickles should be right where they always are. I know I put them on! Where are those pickles? Pickles? Pickles? Pickles?
Bubble Bass: I believe you owe me two bucks. Mr. Krabs: Two bucks?! Bubble Bass: Your guarantee. Mr. Krabs: Oh. That. Well, can't we talk about this? Bubble Bass: No. Mr. Krabs: How about a discount on restroom tokens? Bubble Bass: Afraid not. Mr. Krabs: How's about a free glass of water? A dozen free glasses of water! I'll even put ice in it! No! Come back! Two dollars! Two dollars, no! No!	Mr. Krabs, I know I put pickles on that Krabby Patty.
Mr. Krabs: That two bucks is comin' out of your paycheck!	Wait! Wait! Wait!
Mr. Krabs: Get back to work, we got orders waitin'! Squidward: I need a Krabby Patty.	Okay, I am not gonna blow it this time. Let's see. Bun down. Then ketchup, then mustard, then pickles? No! That's not right! Bun down. Mustard, then ketchup, lettuce, then the pickles? No! Mustard down, bun stuff down, d'oh, where's the patty go? Pickles, ketchup, wait! Think! Think! I'm losin' it! Bun down, shoe, mustard, pan, bun... no! Mr. Krabs, I am so confused. I can't remember how to do anything.
Mr. Krabs: Why don't you take the rest of the day off?	Oh, no, Mr. Krabs. Who will make the Krabby Patties?
Mr. Krabs: Oh, don't worry about that. We've got Squidward! Squidward: Huh? What?	Mr. Krabs is right. I need to get my head straight. Now is it bun, patty, ketchup... The door! The door! Mr. Krabs, the front door is missing! Oh. Sorry about that, Mr. Krabs. This pickle thing has got my head all messed up. I better go on home and rest my brain. Uhh, which way do I live? Of course. No, no! Was it bun, patty, bun... Let's see, tomatoes, pickles, bun? No. Bun? No. Bun? No. Shoe? I am so confused! Maybe a good night's sleep will help me get my head on straight. Oh... was it mattress, mattress, sheets, pillow, then SpongeBob? Or... D'oh... think, Sponge! Oh yeah! It was mattress, SpongeBob, mattress, then sheets, pillow. Good night, Gary.
Gary: Meow.	Aw, this isn't right. Good night, Gary.
Gary: Meow.	Wait, this isn't right either. Nope. Nuh-uh. Negative. C'mon, c'mon! Get it right. Wrong. Wrong! Wrong! Nope! Naw! Negatory! Nyet! Aww, I almost had it! Alarm clock. D'oh, how do I turn this thing off? Think, think, think, think!
Gary: Meow.	Gary!
Squidward: Patties are done. Mr. Krabs: Urrgh! Unknown Anchovy: Hey, he burnt my Krabby Patty. Martha: He burnt my fries! Billy: He burnt my shake! All customers: Mr. Krabs: No! Come back! No! No! Urrgh... I gotta get SpongeBob back! Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob? Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob!	Mr. Krabs, hello. Do you how do?
Mr. Krabs: Why you talkin' funny, lad?	I anything can't do right since because pickles.
Mr. Krabs: Nonsense, you'll be back makin' Krabby Patties like your old self in no time!	I think don't ready back to go to work, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: But you're fine, me boy! Ohh... uhh, well... maybe not. All we need to do is get your confidence back. So, you can make me more money! I-I-I mean, patties.	I how do that?
Mr. Krabs: It's like riding a bike. You never forget! Uhh... I'm gonna help ya! If you learn to make a Krabby Patty again, your life will be back in order.	Mr. Krabs, I don't know if I...
Mr. Krabs: Take your time.	No, no, no, no, no. I got it! I got it! It's all very clear to me now, Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: It is?	Yes! I finally realize that I can't do it! I can't do it, Mr. Krabs! I'm a failure!
Mr. Krabs: Don't talk like that!	Don't you get it, you crustaceous cheapskate? I can't make a Double Krabby Patty with the works! I can't put a patty on a bun, with lettuce, cheese, onions, tomatoes, ketchup, mustard, pickles, and top bun together in that order!
Mr. Krabs: It's time. Unnamed fish: Hey, SpongeBob's back! Bubble Bass: I hear SquarePants is back!	I'm right here, Bubble Bass.
Bubble Bass: I thought I ran you out of town.	This is where I belong! .
Bubble Bass:	Rawr.
Bubble Bass: Give me the regular. And this time, don't forget the pickles.	I didn't.
Bubble Bass: Hmm... ...Still no pickles! See? You failed again, SpongeBob LoserPants!	Wait a minute! Look! He's been hiding the pickles under his tongue the whole time!
Mr. Krabs: And there's the pickles from last time, too! Shubie: And there's my car keys! Bubble Bass: And... there's my ride! Mr. Krabs: Three cheers for the return of our master fry cook, SpongeBob! Hip hip... All: Hooray! Squidward: Hooray. Mr. Krabs: Hip hip... All: Hooray! Squidward: Whoop-de-doo. Mr. Krabs: Hip hip... All: Hooray! Squidward: Oh, boy.	And three cheers for the fry cook who took my place when I was gone: Squidward! Hip hip...
All: Boo!	Hip hip...
All: Boo!	Hip hip...
All: Boo!	Hip hip...
Customer: Boo! You stink! Kelp Thing: Huh? Eh? Narrator: It's Mermaid Man! Savior of the deep! And his young fit servant, Barnacle Boy. Mermaid Man: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy...unite! Kelp Thing, this is a posted, no-parking zone. Kelp Thing: But I must do what I do. Huh? Mermaid Man: Evil can't park here between the hours of 6:00am and 12:00pm! Club Leader: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Fan Club members unite! All: Unite! Club Leader: And now the second order of business: Drippy Brothers Studios is currently in production of the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy movie! All: Ooh!	Oh, boy, Patrick, I can hardly wait to see our favorite heroes on the big screen!
Club Leader: Third order of business, the special surprise guest! The stars of the Mermaid Man movie are here tonight! Directly from the set, here they are! Fake Mermaid Man: Hello, little heroes. Patrick: Huh?	You're not Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. You're fakes!
Fake Mermaid Man: Well, of course, we are. We're actors.	Actors? How can they make a Mermaid Man movie without the real Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy?
Fake Mermaid Man: Listen, kid, this is an action movie. Your has-been heroes are too OLD for action.	Mermaid Man is timeless!
Patrick: Yeah!	I think I speak for everyone here when I say we won't stand for these two phony-baloneys ruining the good name of our heroes. No right-minded Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy society member would ever pay to see this... this celluloid hoax. I say we boycott this movie! Now who's with me? Traitors! Wait ‘til we tell Mermaid Man about this.
Announcer: B-47. Mermaid Man: BONKO! Barnacle Boy: It's bingo. Mermaid Man: Get your hands off me, woman! Announcer: A-29.	Too old for an action movie...huh.
Barnacle Boy: What is it this time, kid?	Are you aware Drippy Brothers Studio is making the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy movie?
Barnacle Boy: They can't be making a movie about us!	But they are! And they're using... actors. They have shunned our heroes.
Patrick: And they weren't nice to them either. Mermaid Man: Now our dreams of being big screen heroes will never come true.	Well, that makes it even worse.
Barnacle Boy: You bet it does, kid. Mermaid Man: And the worst part is I can't remember why I started crying. Patrick: Why don't we just make our own movie?	Patrick, once again, you have exposed your brilliance. We'll make a real Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy movie. Right here at Shady Shoals.
Mermaid Man: You will?	Yes! And in doing so, we will right the wrong done to you by the evil Drippy Brother Studios and... their actors.
Mermaid Man: Vindication is ours! Vindi... how did I get up here?	Okay, Patrick, what do we need to start a movie?
Patrick: Popcorn?	No, Patrick, to start making a movie.
Patrick: Oh, oh, oh...	Let's start with...the title.
Patrick: Yeah, yeah. Ooh! I got one! Adventures in the Underground City.	Great, Pat, what happens?
Patrick: Well, there's a city...	City...
Patrick: And it's underground...	Underground...
Patrick: And they have an adventure...	Adventure...
Patrick: The end.	End. That's great, Pat. Hmm, seems kinda short.
Patrick: I have an idea. Let's make it longer!	Longer, yes. Okay, let's have Mermaid Man get his face... ...shrunk by Kelp-Thing's face minimizer.
Patrick: Yeah, and then he...umm...he drinks...cheese coffee.	Good one, Pat.
Mr. Krabs: What are ye lads doing?	We're making a movie.
Mr. Krabs: So, what do ye say, lad?	Sure, Mr. Krabs, Pearl can be in our movie.
Mr. Krabs: I wasn't talking about Pearl. I was talking about the Krabby Patty.	You can be in it, too, Pearl.
Pearl: I'm gonna be a movie star.	Let's meet the highly skilled professionals who will help us fulfill your dream of being on the big screen. Sandy will handle the stunts and explosives.
Sandy: Howdy.	Pearl is the leading lady. Mr Krabs will cater the affair. Patrick will run the camera.
Patrick: Hey...	This is Squidward. He's in charge of the makeup department.
Squidward: Uh, no thanks. Who wants to be the 'makeup department'?	Not makeup department, you're the makeup 'artist'.
Squidward: Artist?	Makeup artist.
Squidward: In that case, let's make those old crabapples sizzle. Hmmm... Time for the art-eest to go to work. Voila!	Okay, places everybody. Squidward, are our heroes ready?
Squidward: As they'll ever be.	They're beautiful! They look just like they did 30 years ago. Okay, action!
Sandy: I love my new job!	Good job, Sandy!
Plankton: Psst... I, Man Ray, have returned from the murky depths to seek my revenge and banish your souls to the nether regions. Their defenses are strong, but they are no match for my Man Ray ray.	What are you doing?
Plankton: SpongeBob, this role was made for me.	That villain isn't even in this movie. But let me see if we have something that fits your qualifications. Oh, here's something. You can be the boom operator!
Plankton: I thought Sandy was the boom operator! Sandy: Did somebody say boom? Plankton: All right, SpongeBob, but you're squandering my talents!	Okay, Patrick, start the movie!
Assistant: Take 1. Mermaid Man: We have to get back to those swollen Krabby Patties.	Cut! No, Mermaid Man, it's stolen Krabby Patties.
Assistant: Take 2. Mermaid Man: We have to get back to those stolen naggie daddies.	Cut! No, Mermaid Man, it's stolen Krabby Patties!
Assistant: Take 5,003. Mermaid Man: We have to get back to those stolen Krabby Patties! And if we don't stop that diabolical scoundrel- Plankton: Give it back! Barnacle Boy: I knew this was a bad idea.	Cut! Plankton, next time could you keep the boom out of shot? Other than that, you're doing a super job.
Plankton: This is humiliating. I'm not good at this boom thing. Sandy: Did somebody say boom? Pearl: Oh, daddy, you said I was going to be a star! Mr. Krabs: You are, Pearl. Mermaid Man wouldn't be anywhere without you. Go out there and break a leg. Pearl: Yeah!	Okay, action!
Mermaid Man: To the boat mobile.	Cue the sound effects.
Mermaid Man: Listen to that engine purr.	Almost there!
Patrick: Good morning, SpongeBob.	Everything's ruined! Well, at least we got the footage.
Patrick: Yeah, I got the footage.	Patrick, what is that?
Patrick: Oh, it's a camera.	No, Patrick, this.
Patrick: Oh, that's a lens cap.	Did you just put that on?!
Patrick: Yup, I didn't want to lose it, so I put it there right before we started filming.	The movie's ruined! We can't make a movie!
Mermaid Man: Hey, little hero, this reminds me of the Episode 912. We were surrounded. The Kelp-Thing was to our right and their broccoli was on the side. But if there was one thing I remember, it was how to forget.	Patrick, this is good. Roll the film.
Mermaid Man: The rain in Spain stays mainly on the...space! The final countdown. Stick to the...stick to the...Lou, my darling! Lou! Now get out there and finish this movie, kid.	Mr. Krabs, why are you weeping?
Mr. Krabs: I closed early for your movie. Where are the paying customers?! You promised a full house!	And here comes the filling! The Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Fan Club. I knew you'd come to see the real Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy movie.
Club Leader: Actually, the real movie was sold out. I'll take 200 tickets, please. Mr. Krabs: Now, this is what I call a happy ending. Barnacle Boy: Well, our big moment, us up on the big screen.	Fort Lox: home to over five billion Krabby Patties. What evil mastermind would dare infiltrate this fortified fort and make off with its treasure? It is I, Kelp-Thing! Do what I do!
Mermaid Man: Stop! You can't do that forbidden.	Watch me!
Mermaid Man: Prepare to feel my wrath, you foul villain. You may have won the Krabby Patties, but the battle rages on. Mermaidmanacle Boy, unite! SpongeBob & Patrick: Yay! Mermaid Man: Well, kid, you showed the world that even though our steps may have been slowed, we still have a little action left in these heroic old bones. Barnacle Boy: Well, at least some of them. Narrator: Ah, springtime in Bikini Bottom. All sea creatures have an innate sense of the seasonal changes... ...like the starfish. A quick survey of his environment... ...and he knows that... Patrick: It's spring! Narrator: The starfish then sheds his winter coat and stores it away safe for winter.	I'd better call the doctor, 'cuz I've got spring fever! Good morning, little flowers. Hello, Squidward, isn't it a lovely day?
Squidward: Huh?	Did you say, Hello! to the flowers yet?
Squidward: ...Good morning, flowers. hiss	Gosh, I didn't know Squidward had hay fever. I'll do him the kindness and plant him some hypoallergenic flowers. You're on your way. I bet you're thirsty. Huh? I'm not taking my eyes off you.
Narrator: Three days later... Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob!	Hi, Patrick! How does this keep happening?? Hi. She's beautiful! What a magnificent seahorse. I shall tame her. Who knows what we can accomplish? Because of her mysterious behavior, I have decided to name her Mystery. Hmmm, now that I think of it, she is very graceful and majestic... perhaps I should name her Grace, or Majesty... or Debbie. She must have spotted my floral bookmark! She's coming this way. That's it, girl... don't be afraid... I'm just a talking sponge, is all... Gosh, Mystery, that was the greatest day of my life. Do you think we'll be friends forever? I'll take that as a yes!
Squidward: What the...?	Hey, Squidward! Still riding a machine to work I see.
Squidward: Don't say anything, Squidward, remember your karma.	Whoa, girl. Now you wait out here until I'm done with work. See you at the end of my shift.
Scooter: Hey, look! Mr. Krabs put in a kiddie ride! Wobbles: Why doncha try it out? Scooter: I can't find the coin slot. Here it is! Wobbles: HELP! Kiddie ride on the loose! Mr. Krabs: What's with all the ruckus!? A monster scaring away me customers!	That's not a monster, Mr. Krabs, it's a horse. She's my friend. Her name is Mystery.
Mr. Krabs: ...You're a mystery, SpongeBob. Get rid of it.	Huh? Please, Mr. Krabs, let her stay! She won't hurt nobody nohow!
Mr. Krabs: It's either you or Mystery.	I knew I should've named her Debbie.
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, thanks for finally getting rid of that horse!	You're welcome, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: Now, if we could only get rid of Squidward.	Good one, sir. Hah! It worked, girl. We'll just keep you here until Patrick finishes that stable I asked him to build. Only eight more hours.
Narrator: Twelve seconds later...	No, Mystery, you can't come out yet. If old man Krabs sees you, I'll lose my job. Wait a second. I bet you're hungry. How ‘bout some lunch? Shhh! Girl, you got to be quiet or...
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! What was that? Is that horse in here?!	No, Mr. Krabs. I was just practicing my imitation of Mystery... wheesnoff.
Mr. Krabs: Well, keep working on it! That was terrible!	That was close. From now on, no more hijinks. Order up!
Squidward: SpongeBob, where's my order?	Did you look under the tray?
Squidward: No I didn't, sorry. SpongeBob, could you just get my order?	They vanished! Squidward, do you think the Krusty Krab is haunted? What if they come for me next?! I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!
Squidward: SpongeBob, there's no ghosts!	Oh?
Squidward: In case you've forgotten, here's how things work. I order the food, you cook the food, then the customer gets the food. We do that for forty years and then we die. Sounds like a pretty good deal to me, what do you say?	Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear you Squidward. I'll be right back.
Squidward: What's that?	Don't tell Mr. Krabs! I got it all under control! Now then, you were saying?
Squidward: Just get my order.	You got it, Squidward? Ghosts. Mystery, you ate my hat. Mystery, you ate my spatula. You ate all the Krabby Patties! You ate the stove! You ate Old Man Jenkins!!!
Old Man Jenkins: I don't want to be a burden. Squidward: Folks, we have a minor situation going on in the kitchen. Thaddeus: Where's our food? Fred: I'm so hungry! Tina: This is my only lunch hour! Tom: Where's Old Man Jenkins?! Squidward: Take it easy, the food's no good here, anyway. Mr. Krabs: Squidward, what's goin' on in here? Squidward: Why don't you go ask Cowbob Ranchpants and his faithful companion Sir Eats-A-Lot. Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! What's the meaning of all these nicknames!?! DAVID H. JONES!	Mystery got a bellyache from eating Krabby Patties. So I made her a bicarbonate of soda.
Old Man Jenkins: burp What did I miss? Mr. Krabs: So, my eyes are correct! You still have that horse even when I ordered you to get rid of it! Well, now I'm going to get rid of it once and for all!	No, Mr. Krabs. Please don't make me give up Mystery! I know you think she's just a horse, but she's more than that, I tell you. She listens to me. She understands everything I say and I understand her! She's my best friend.
Squidward: Hey, who left this bowl of onions here!? Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, your story has touched me heart. Believe it or not, I know what it's like to give up a best friend.	You do?

Bubble Bass: The best there is? I don't think so. You lose!

But, the pickles should be right where they always are. I know I put them on! Where are those pickles? Pickles? Pickles? Pickles?

Bubble Bass: I believe you owe me two bucks. Mr. Krabs: Two bucks?! Bubble Bass: Your guarantee. Mr. Krabs: Oh. That. Well, can't we talk about this? Bubble Bass: No. Mr. Krabs: How about a discount on restroom tokens? Bubble Bass: Afraid not. Mr. Krabs: How's about a free glass of water? A dozen free glasses of water! I'll even put ice in it! No! Come back! Two dollars! Two dollars, no! No!

Mr. Krabs, I know I put pickles on that Krabby Patty.

Mr. Krabs: That two bucks is comin' out of your paycheck!

Wait! Wait! Wait!

Mr. Krabs: Get back to work, we got orders waitin'! Squidward: I need a Krabby Patty.

Okay, I am not gonna blow it this time. Let's see. Bun down. Then ketchup, then mustard, then pickles? No! That's not right! Bun down. Mustard, then ketchup, lettuce, then the pickles? No! Mustard down, bun stuff down, d'oh, where's the patty go? Pickles, ketchup, wait! Think! Think! I'm losin' it! Bun down, shoe, mustard, pan, bun... no! Mr. Krabs, I am so confused. I can't remember how to do anything.

Mr. Krabs: Why don't you take the rest of the day off?

Oh, no, Mr. Krabs. Who will make the Krabby Patties?

Mr. Krabs: Oh, don't worry about that. We've got Squidward! Squidward: Huh? What?

Mr. Krabs is right. I need to get my head straight. Now is it bun, patty, ketchup... The door! The door! Mr. Krabs, the front door is missing! Oh. Sorry about that, Mr. Krabs. This pickle thing has got my head all messed up. I better go on home and rest my brain. Uhh, which way do I live? Of course. No, no! Was it bun, patty, bun... Let's see, tomatoes, pickles, bun? No. Bun? No. Bun? No. Shoe? I am so confused! Maybe a good night's sleep will help me get my head on straight. Oh... was it mattress, mattress, sheets, pillow, then SpongeBob? Or... D'oh... think, Sponge! Oh yeah! It was mattress, SpongeBob, mattress, then sheets, pillow. Good night, Gary.

Gary: Meow.

Aw, this isn't right. Good night, Gary.

Gary: Meow.

Wait, this isn't right either. Nope. Nuh-uh. Negative. C'mon, c'mon! Get it right. Wrong. Wrong! Wrong! Nope! Naw! Negatory! Nyet! Aww, I almost had it! Alarm clock. D'oh, how do I turn this thing off? Think, think, think, think!

Gary: Meow.

Gary!

Squidward: Patties are done. Mr. Krabs: Urrgh! Unknown Anchovy: Hey, he burnt my Krabby Patty. Martha: He burnt my fries! Billy: He burnt my shake! All customers: Mr. Krabs: No! Come back! No! No! Urrgh... I gotta get SpongeBob back! Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob? Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob!

Mr. Krabs, hello. Do you how do?

Mr. Krabs: Why you talkin' funny, lad?

I anything can't do right since because pickles.

Mr. Krabs: Nonsense, you'll be back makin' Krabby Patties like your old self in no time!

I think don't ready back to go to work, Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: But you're fine, me boy! Ohh... uhh, well... maybe not. All we need to do is get your confidence back. So, you can make me more money! I-I-I mean, patties.

I how do that?

Mr. Krabs: It's like riding a bike. You never forget! Uhh... I'm gonna help ya! If you learn to make a Krabby Patty again, your life will be back in order.

Mr. Krabs, I don't know if I...

Mr. Krabs: Take your time.

No, no, no, no, no. I got it! I got it! It's all very clear to me now, Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: It is?

Yes! I finally realize that I can't do it! I can't do it, Mr. Krabs! I'm a failure!

Mr. Krabs: Don't talk like that!

Don't you get it, you crustaceous cheapskate? I can't make a Double Krabby Patty with the works! I can't put a patty on a bun, with lettuce, cheese, onions, tomatoes, ketchup, mustard, pickles, and top bun together in that order!

Mr. Krabs: It's time. Unnamed fish: Hey, SpongeBob's back! Bubble Bass: I hear SquarePants is back!

I'm right here, Bubble Bass.

Bubble Bass: I thought I ran you out of town.

This is where I belong! .

Bubble Bass:

Rawr.

Bubble Bass: Give me the regular. And this time, don't forget the pickles.

I didn't.

Bubble Bass: Hmm... ...Still no pickles! See? You failed again, SpongeBob LoserPants!

Wait a minute! Look! He's been hiding the pickles under his tongue the whole time!

Mr. Krabs: And there's the pickles from last time, too! Shubie: And there's my car keys! Bubble Bass: And... there's my ride! Mr. Krabs: Three cheers for the return of our master fry cook, SpongeBob! Hip hip... All: Hooray! Squidward: Hooray. Mr. Krabs: Hip hip... All: Hooray! Squidward: Whoop-de-doo. Mr. Krabs: Hip hip... All: Hooray! Squidward: Oh, boy.

And three cheers for the fry cook who took my place when I was gone: Squidward! Hip hip...

All: Boo!

Hip hip...

All: Boo!

Hip hip...

All: Boo!

Hip hip...

Customer: Boo! You stink! Kelp Thing: Huh? Eh? Narrator: It's Mermaid Man! Savior of the deep! And his young fit servant, Barnacle Boy. Mermaid Man: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy...unite! Kelp Thing, this is a posted, no-parking zone. Kelp Thing: But I must do what I do. Huh? Mermaid Man: Evil can't park here between the hours of 6:00am and 12:00pm! Club Leader: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Fan Club members unite! All: Unite! Club Leader: And now the second order of business: Drippy Brothers Studios is currently in production of the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy movie! All: Ooh!

Oh, boy, Patrick, I can hardly wait to see our favorite heroes on the big screen!

Club Leader: Third order of business, the special surprise guest! The stars of the Mermaid Man movie are here tonight! Directly from the set, here they are! Fake Mermaid Man: Hello, little heroes. Patrick: Huh?

You're not Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. You're fakes!

Fake Mermaid Man: Well, of course, we are. We're actors.

Actors? How can they make a Mermaid Man movie without the real Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy?

Fake Mermaid Man: Listen, kid, this is an action movie. Your has-been heroes are too OLD for action.

Mermaid Man is timeless!

Patrick: Yeah!

I think I speak for everyone here when I say we won't stand for these two phony-baloneys ruining the good name of our heroes. No right-minded Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy society member would ever pay to see this... this celluloid hoax. I say we boycott this movie! Now who's with me? Traitors! Wait ‘til we tell Mermaid Man about this.

Announcer: B-47. Mermaid Man: BONKO! Barnacle Boy: It's bingo. Mermaid Man: Get your hands off me, woman! Announcer: A-29.

Too old for an action movie...huh.

Barnacle Boy: What is it this time, kid?

Are you aware Drippy Brothers Studio is making the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy movie?

Barnacle Boy: They can't be making a movie about us!

But they are! And they're using... actors. They have shunned our heroes.

Patrick: And they weren't nice to them either. Mermaid Man: Now our dreams of being big screen heroes will never come true.

Well, that makes it even worse.

Barnacle Boy: You bet it does, kid. Mermaid Man: And the worst part is I can't remember why I started crying. Patrick: Why don't we just make our own movie?

Patrick, once again, you have exposed your brilliance. We'll make a real Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy movie. Right here at Shady Shoals.

Mermaid Man: You will?

Yes! And in doing so, we will right the wrong done to you by the evil Drippy Brother Studios and... their actors.

Mermaid Man: Vindication is ours! Vindi... how did I get up here?

Okay, Patrick, what do we need to start a movie?

Patrick: Popcorn?

No, Patrick, to start making a movie.

Patrick: Oh, oh, oh...

Let's start with...the title.

Patrick: Yeah, yeah. Ooh! I got one! Adventures in the Underground City.

Great, Pat, what happens?

Patrick: Well, there's a city...

City...

Patrick: And it's underground...

Underground...

Patrick: And they have an adventure...

Adventure...

Patrick: The end.

End. That's great, Pat. Hmm, seems kinda short.

Patrick: I have an idea. Let's make it longer!

Longer, yes. Okay, let's have Mermaid Man get his face... ...shrunk by Kelp-Thing's face minimizer.

Patrick: Yeah, and then he...umm...he drinks...cheese coffee.

Good one, Pat.

Mr. Krabs: What are ye lads doing?

We're making a movie.

Mr. Krabs: So, what do ye say, lad?

Sure, Mr. Krabs, Pearl can be in our movie.

Mr. Krabs: I wasn't talking about Pearl. I was talking about the Krabby Patty.

You can be in it, too, Pearl.

Pearl: I'm gonna be a movie star.

Let's meet the highly skilled professionals who will help us fulfill your dream of being on the big screen. Sandy will handle the stunts and explosives.

Sandy: Howdy.

Pearl is the leading lady. Mr Krabs will cater the affair. Patrick will run the camera.

Patrick: Hey...

This is Squidward. He's in charge of the makeup department.

Squidward: Uh, no thanks. Who wants to be the 'makeup department'?

Not makeup department, you're the makeup 'artist'.

Squidward: Artist?

Makeup artist.

Squidward: In that case, let's make those old crabapples sizzle. Hmmm... Time for the art-eest to go to work. Voila!

Okay, places everybody. Squidward, are our heroes ready?

Squidward: As they'll ever be.

They're beautiful! They look just like they did 30 years ago. Okay, action!

Sandy: I love my new job!

Good job, Sandy!

Plankton: Psst... I, Man Ray, have returned from the murky depths to seek my revenge and banish your souls to the nether regions. Their defenses are strong, but they are no match for my Man Ray ray.

What are you doing?

Plankton: SpongeBob, this role was made for me.

That villain isn't even in this movie. But let me see if we have something that fits your qualifications. Oh, here's something. You can be the boom operator!

Plankton: I thought Sandy was the boom operator! Sandy: Did somebody say boom? Plankton: All right, SpongeBob, but you're squandering my talents!

Okay, Patrick, start the movie!

Assistant: Take 1. Mermaid Man: We have to get back to those swollen Krabby Patties.

Cut! No, Mermaid Man, it's stolen Krabby Patties.

Assistant: Take 2. Mermaid Man: We have to get back to those stolen naggie daddies.

Cut! No, Mermaid Man, it's stolen Krabby Patties!

Assistant: Take 5,003. Mermaid Man: We have to get back to those stolen Krabby Patties! And if we don't stop that diabolical scoundrel- Plankton: Give it back! Barnacle Boy: I knew this was a bad idea.

Cut! Plankton, next time could you keep the boom out of shot? Other than that, you're doing a super job.

Plankton: This is humiliating. I'm not good at this boom thing. Sandy: Did somebody say boom? Pearl: Oh, daddy, you said I was going to be a star! Mr. Krabs: You are, Pearl. Mermaid Man wouldn't be anywhere without you. Go out there and break a leg. Pearl: Yeah!

Okay, action!

Mermaid Man: To the boat mobile.

Cue the sound effects.

Mermaid Man: Listen to that engine purr.

Almost there!

Patrick: Good morning, SpongeBob.

Everything's ruined! Well, at least we got the footage.

Patrick: Yeah, I got the footage.

Patrick, what is that?

Patrick: Oh, it's a camera.

No, Patrick, this.

Patrick: Oh, that's a lens cap.

Did you just put that on?!

Patrick: Yup, I didn't want to lose it, so I put it there right before we started filming.

The movie's ruined! We can't make a movie!

Mermaid Man: Hey, little hero, this reminds me of the Episode 912. We were surrounded. The Kelp-Thing was to our right and their broccoli was on the side. But if there was one thing I remember, it was how to forget.

Patrick, this is good. Roll the film.

Mermaid Man: The rain in Spain stays mainly on the...space! The final countdown. Stick to the...stick to the...Lou, my darling! Lou! Now get out there and finish this movie, kid.

Mr. Krabs, why are you weeping?

Mr. Krabs: I closed early for your movie. Where are the paying customers?! You promised a full house!

And here comes the filling! The Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Fan Club. I knew you'd come to see the real Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy movie.

Club Leader: Actually, the real movie was sold out. I'll take 200 tickets, please. Mr. Krabs: Now, this is what I call a happy ending. Barnacle Boy: Well, our big moment, us up on the big screen.

Fort Lox: home to over five billion Krabby Patties. What evil mastermind would dare infiltrate this fortified fort and make off with its treasure? It is I, Kelp-Thing! Do what I do!

Mermaid Man: Stop! You can't do that forbidden.

Watch me!

Mermaid Man: Prepare to feel my wrath, you foul villain. You may have won the Krabby Patties, but the battle rages on. Mermaidmanacle Boy, unite! SpongeBob & Patrick: Yay! Mermaid Man: Well, kid, you showed the world that even though our steps may have been slowed, we still have a little action left in these heroic old bones. Barnacle Boy: Well, at least some of them. Narrator: Ah, springtime in Bikini Bottom. All sea creatures have an innate sense of the seasonal changes... ...like the starfish. A quick survey of his environment... ...and he knows that... Patrick: It's spring! Narrator: The starfish then sheds his winter coat and stores it away safe for winter.

I'd better call the doctor, 'cuz I've got spring fever! Good morning, little flowers. Hello, Squidward, isn't it a lovely day?

Squidward: Huh?

Did you say, Hello! to the flowers yet?

Squidward: ...Good morning, flowers. *hiss*

Gosh, I didn't know Squidward had hay fever. I'll do him the kindness and plant him some hypoallergenic flowers. You're on your way. I bet you're thirsty. Huh? I'm not taking my eyes off you.

Narrator: Three days later... Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob!

Hi, Patrick! How does this keep happening?? Hi. She's beautiful! What a magnificent seahorse. I shall tame her. Who knows what we can accomplish? Because of her mysterious behavior, I have decided to name her Mystery. Hmmm, now that I think of it, she is very graceful and majestic... perhaps I should name her Grace, or Majesty... or Debbie. She must have spotted my floral bookmark! She's coming this way. That's it, girl... don't be afraid... I'm just a talking sponge, is all... Gosh, Mystery, that was the greatest day of my life. Do you think we'll be friends forever? I'll take that as a yes!

Squidward: What the...?

Hey, Squidward! Still riding a machine to work I see.

Squidward: Don't say anything, Squidward, remember your karma.

Whoa, girl. Now you wait out here until I'm done with work. See you at the end of my shift.

Scooter: Hey, look! Mr. Krabs put in a kiddie ride! Wobbles: Why doncha try it out? Scooter: I can't find the coin slot. Here it is! Wobbles: HELP! Kiddie ride on the loose! Mr. Krabs: What's with all the ruckus!? A monster scaring away me customers!

That's not a monster, Mr. Krabs, it's a horse. She's my friend. Her name is Mystery.

Mr. Krabs: ...You're a mystery, SpongeBob. Get rid of it.

Huh? Please, Mr. Krabs, let her stay! She won't hurt nobody nohow!

Mr. Krabs: It's either you or Mystery.

I knew I should've named her Debbie.

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, thanks for finally getting rid of that horse!

You're welcome, Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: Now, if we could only get rid of Squidward.

Good one, sir. Hah! It worked, girl. We'll just keep you here until Patrick finishes that stable I asked him to build. Only eight more hours.

Narrator: Twelve seconds later...

No, Mystery, you can't come out yet. If old man Krabs sees you, I'll lose my job. Wait a second. I bet you're hungry. How ‘bout some lunch? Shhh! Girl, you got to be quiet or...

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! What was that? Is that horse in here?!

No, Mr. Krabs. I was just practicing my imitation of Mystery... wheesnoff.

Mr. Krabs: Well, keep working on it! That was terrible!

That was close. From now on, no more hijinks. Order up!

Squidward: SpongeBob, where's my order?

Did you look under the tray?

Squidward: No I didn't, sorry. SpongeBob, could you just get my order?

They vanished! Squidward, do you think the Krusty Krab is haunted? What if they come for me next?! I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!

Squidward: SpongeBob, there's no ghosts!

Oh?

Squidward: In case you've forgotten, here's how things work. I order the food, you cook the food, then the customer gets the food. We do that for forty years and then we die. Sounds like a pretty good deal to me, what do you say?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear you Squidward. I'll be right back.

Squidward: What's that?

Don't tell Mr. Krabs! I got it all under control! Now then, you were saying?

Squidward: Just get my order.

You got it, Squidward? Ghosts. Mystery, you ate my hat. Mystery, you ate my spatula. You ate all the Krabby Patties! You ate the stove! You ate Old Man Jenkins!!!

Old Man Jenkins: I don't want to be a burden. Squidward: Folks, we have a minor situation going on in the kitchen. Thaddeus: Where's our food? Fred: I'm so hungry! Tina: This is my only lunch hour! Tom: Where's Old Man Jenkins?! Squidward: Take it easy, the food's no good here, anyway. Mr. Krabs: Squidward, what's goin' on in here? Squidward: Why don't you go ask Cowbob Ranchpants and his faithful companion Sir Eats-A-Lot. Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! What's the meaning of all these nicknames!?! DAVID H. JONES!

Mystery got a bellyache from eating Krabby Patties. So I made her a bicarbonate of soda.

Old Man Jenkins: *burp* What did I miss? Mr. Krabs: So, my eyes are correct! You still have that horse even when I ordered you to get rid of it! Well, now I'm going to get rid of it once and for all!

No, Mr. Krabs. Please don't make me give up Mystery! I know you think she's just a horse, but she's more than that, I tell you. She listens to me. She understands everything I say and I understand her! She's my best friend.

Squidward: Hey, who left this bowl of onions here!? Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, your story has touched me heart. Believe it or not, I know what it's like to give up a best friend.

You do?