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7fnh4v
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[PA] Neighbor keeps flying drones on my property Side note: I have never been in good terms with this neighbor So the past 2 days my neighbor has been flying drones. I know he collects them, I don't really have a problem until he purposely started to chase my kids with it. Hell he even chased me. He has 8 drones. We couldn't go outside at all. What can we do? If it helps, my two other neighbors seen us get chased.
dqe2amb
dqdbreg
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I have to ask; When you talked to your neighbor about it, what did he say?
In rural Oregon there are signs posted "We shoot drones". Not sure of the legal ramifications, but it would seem that drone flyers have been put on notice.
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(Wyomissing, PA) Neighbors continually flying drone over my yard and possibly filming me in my house; issues relating to privacy? I live in Wyomissing, and my neighbors are relatives of a certain pop star who comes from here. For the past three weeks, I've had a drone flying over my back yard and when I've been getting into the car and I suspect it's my neighbors doing it; they mentioned about getting interested in drones. The drone always appears whenever me and my wife and our 13-year-old daughter are getting in and out of the car, or in our backyard, and I'm not sure if they're filming me or not. Complianing to the neighbors resulted in a "GTFO" response. I've also had mail through the door from the neighbors saying I owe them $8,000 - but I've never done anything to involve that, I don't even do business with them (I work in IT maintenance for a living). My driveway has CCTV installed, I've seen the drone flying at 5 or 6am in the morning sometimes, on my front lawn, and it's getting annoying. I do have CCTV evidence. Not sure what I can do to stop them. Do I have "expectation of privacy" by my garage and in my backyard? I need some legal advice before I work out what to do next.
da44sox
da45pwc
1,479,388,500
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Helium balloons tethered by fishing line to mark where a party is going to happen, think of London during WW2. Or when you go the beach and the food stands have fishing line over head to keep the seagulls out. You cannot take an active stance against the drone like shooting it down, training a falcon to kill it, EMP pulse , throwing rocks and sticks at it or use another drone to dog fight it.(but you can harass it with another bigger drone) Cases have proven youll end up buying a drone that doesnt work from them. And possibly do some jail time as well. However, you can take a passive stance with plants like bamboo, bird deterrents like fishing line, mirrors(they fuck with pilots POV perspective) , fans on your deck. Anything you would use to scare away but not kill birds. But all of those are limited to how high and wide you can go. The rules of engagement have changed, the FAA may have some more information on what you are allowed to do.
Hey everyone has given you great advice about the drone, but I wanted to say that 8,000, if it's a lawsuit you HAVE to respond. Otherwise there will be a default judgement and they will win.
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(Wyomissing, PA) Neighbors continually flying drone over my yard and possibly filming me in my house; issues relating to privacy? I live in Wyomissing, and my neighbors are relatives of a certain pop star who comes from here. For the past three weeks, I've had a drone flying over my back yard and when I've been getting into the car and I suspect it's my neighbors doing it; they mentioned about getting interested in drones. The drone always appears whenever me and my wife and our 13-year-old daughter are getting in and out of the car, or in our backyard, and I'm not sure if they're filming me or not. Complianing to the neighbors resulted in a "GTFO" response. I've also had mail through the door from the neighbors saying I owe them $8,000 - but I've never done anything to involve that, I don't even do business with them (I work in IT maintenance for a living). My driveway has CCTV installed, I've seen the drone flying at 5 or 6am in the morning sometimes, on my front lawn, and it's getting annoying. I do have CCTV evidence. Not sure what I can do to stop them. Do I have "expectation of privacy" by my garage and in my backyard? I need some legal advice before I work out what to do next.
da4a9zt
da46fem
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Hahahahaha I never dreamed I would see Wyo on legaladvice. Way back when, I found that the cops were surprisingly nice if you try to get their help in an extremely polite way. Have you tried popping by the borough hall and asking to speak with an officer? They're located around the back of the house/hall. If it's just the dispatcher there, ask when someone will be back. If you fill them in on what's happening, I bet you they'd stop by your neighbor's and try to dissuade them from causing you so much bother. They spend so much time breaking up parties and chasing down teenage weed dealers that they're usually pretty happy for an opportunity to play good cop for someone. Or you could get the cop who wrote me a ticket for honking at a squirrel in the middle of Reading Boulevard. Who knows.
In addition to the advice already i know a few people who are serious drone videographers and operators, their livelihoods rely on a regulated industry and they HATE this kind of crap because it affects their ability to work. They are often heavily involved in local government in regards to creating ordinances, etc... i bet Pennsylvania has an organization like this that you may be able to contact for advice.
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(Wyomissing, PA) Neighbors continually flying drone over my yard and possibly filming me in my house; issues relating to privacy? I live in Wyomissing, and my neighbors are relatives of a certain pop star who comes from here. For the past three weeks, I've had a drone flying over my back yard and when I've been getting into the car and I suspect it's my neighbors doing it; they mentioned about getting interested in drones. The drone always appears whenever me and my wife and our 13-year-old daughter are getting in and out of the car, or in our backyard, and I'm not sure if they're filming me or not. Complianing to the neighbors resulted in a "GTFO" response. I've also had mail through the door from the neighbors saying I owe them $8,000 - but I've never done anything to involve that, I don't even do business with them (I work in IT maintenance for a living). My driveway has CCTV installed, I've seen the drone flying at 5 or 6am in the morning sometimes, on my front lawn, and it's getting annoying. I do have CCTV evidence. Not sure what I can do to stop them. Do I have "expectation of privacy" by my garage and in my backyard? I need some legal advice before I work out what to do next.
da4987x
da4a9zt
1,479,395,737
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I am not a lawyer but.. I giggled at the pop star line. i know exactly who you are talking about. I grew up in Limerick and would hear stories all the time...
Hahahahaha I never dreamed I would see Wyo on legaladvice. Way back when, I found that the cops were surprisingly nice if you try to get their help in an extremely polite way. Have you tried popping by the borough hall and asking to speak with an officer? They're located around the back of the house/hall. If it's just the dispatcher there, ask when someone will be back. If you fill them in on what's happening, I bet you they'd stop by your neighbor's and try to dissuade them from causing you so much bother. They spend so much time breaking up parties and chasing down teenage weed dealers that they're usually pretty happy for an opportunity to play good cop for someone. Or you could get the cop who wrote me a ticket for honking at a squirrel in the middle of Reading Boulevard. Who knows.
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(Wyomissing, PA) Neighbors continually flying drone over my yard and possibly filming me in my house; issues relating to privacy? I live in Wyomissing, and my neighbors are relatives of a certain pop star who comes from here. For the past three weeks, I've had a drone flying over my back yard and when I've been getting into the car and I suspect it's my neighbors doing it; they mentioned about getting interested in drones. The drone always appears whenever me and my wife and our 13-year-old daughter are getting in and out of the car, or in our backyard, and I'm not sure if they're filming me or not. Complianing to the neighbors resulted in a "GTFO" response. I've also had mail through the door from the neighbors saying I owe them $8,000 - but I've never done anything to involve that, I don't even do business with them (I work in IT maintenance for a living). My driveway has CCTV installed, I've seen the drone flying at 5 or 6am in the morning sometimes, on my front lawn, and it's getting annoying. I do have CCTV evidence. Not sure what I can do to stop them. Do I have "expectation of privacy" by my garage and in my backyard? I need some legal advice before I work out what to do next.
da4a9zt
da47vv3
1,479,397,139
1,479,393,795
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Hahahahaha I never dreamed I would see Wyo on legaladvice. Way back when, I found that the cops were surprisingly nice if you try to get their help in an extremely polite way. Have you tried popping by the borough hall and asking to speak with an officer? They're located around the back of the house/hall. If it's just the dispatcher there, ask when someone will be back. If you fill them in on what's happening, I bet you they'd stop by your neighbor's and try to dissuade them from causing you so much bother. They spend so much time breaking up parties and chasing down teenage weed dealers that they're usually pretty happy for an opportunity to play good cop for someone. Or you could get the cop who wrote me a ticket for honking at a squirrel in the middle of Reading Boulevard. Who knows.
Please update, I'm curious to see where you get, as I'm in a nearby area. And are your neighbors related to TS?
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(Wyomissing, PA) Neighbors continually flying drone over my yard and possibly filming me in my house; issues relating to privacy? I live in Wyomissing, and my neighbors are relatives of a certain pop star who comes from here. For the past three weeks, I've had a drone flying over my back yard and when I've been getting into the car and I suspect it's my neighbors doing it; they mentioned about getting interested in drones. The drone always appears whenever me and my wife and our 13-year-old daughter are getting in and out of the car, or in our backyard, and I'm not sure if they're filming me or not. Complianing to the neighbors resulted in a "GTFO" response. I've also had mail through the door from the neighbors saying I owe them $8,000 - but I've never done anything to involve that, I don't even do business with them (I work in IT maintenance for a living). My driveway has CCTV installed, I've seen the drone flying at 5 or 6am in the morning sometimes, on my front lawn, and it's getting annoying. I do have CCTV evidence. Not sure what I can do to stop them. Do I have "expectation of privacy" by my garage and in my backyard? I need some legal advice before I work out what to do next.
da4d305
da4gies
1,479,400,694
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You say that you see the drone on your front lawn? You also said you asked the people you think are flying it to stop. If they do in fact land again then it is trespassing and your can report it to the police. A no trespassing sign would probably help too.
You can look into getting infrared LEDs that will make any camera trained on your house not function.
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(Wyomissing, PA) Neighbors continually flying drone over my yard and possibly filming me in my house; issues relating to privacy? I live in Wyomissing, and my neighbors are relatives of a certain pop star who comes from here. For the past three weeks, I've had a drone flying over my back yard and when I've been getting into the car and I suspect it's my neighbors doing it; they mentioned about getting interested in drones. The drone always appears whenever me and my wife and our 13-year-old daughter are getting in and out of the car, or in our backyard, and I'm not sure if they're filming me or not. Complianing to the neighbors resulted in a "GTFO" response. I've also had mail through the door from the neighbors saying I owe them $8,000 - but I've never done anything to involve that, I don't even do business with them (I work in IT maintenance for a living). My driveway has CCTV installed, I've seen the drone flying at 5 or 6am in the morning sometimes, on my front lawn, and it's getting annoying. I do have CCTV evidence. Not sure what I can do to stop them. Do I have "expectation of privacy" by my garage and in my backyard? I need some legal advice before I work out what to do next.
da4d305
da4f76j
1,479,400,694
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You say that you see the drone on your front lawn? You also said you asked the people you think are flying it to stop. If they do in fact land again then it is trespassing and your can report it to the police. A no trespassing sign would probably help too.
I'm confused about where the $8000 comes into play?
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(Wyomissing, PA) Neighbors continually flying drone over my yard and possibly filming me in my house; issues relating to privacy? I live in Wyomissing, and my neighbors are relatives of a certain pop star who comes from here. For the past three weeks, I've had a drone flying over my back yard and when I've been getting into the car and I suspect it's my neighbors doing it; they mentioned about getting interested in drones. The drone always appears whenever me and my wife and our 13-year-old daughter are getting in and out of the car, or in our backyard, and I'm not sure if they're filming me or not. Complianing to the neighbors resulted in a "GTFO" response. I've also had mail through the door from the neighbors saying I owe them $8,000 - but I've never done anything to involve that, I don't even do business with them (I work in IT maintenance for a living). My driveway has CCTV installed, I've seen the drone flying at 5 or 6am in the morning sometimes, on my front lawn, and it's getting annoying. I do have CCTV evidence. Not sure what I can do to stop them. Do I have "expectation of privacy" by my garage and in my backyard? I need some legal advice before I work out what to do next.
da4vu37
da4d305
1,479,423,644
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Giant bird net. Mount it like a butterfly in a giant shadowbox. OOOH OOH OOH better idea: mist netting. Perfectly legal because it is designed NOT to harm or kill the birds or bats it captures, and your neighbors wouldn't see it. Plus, when their drone flies into the mist net, it will get all tangled and whatnot, and destroy your mist net, so then you can sue your neighbors in small claims court for the cost of the mist net! And if anyone asks, just tell them you were trying to find out what species of birds frequent your house! You're an amateur ornithologist!
You say that you see the drone on your front lawn? You also said you asked the people you think are flying it to stop. If they do in fact land again then it is trespassing and your can report it to the police. A no trespassing sign would probably help too.
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(Wyomissing, PA) Neighbors continually flying drone over my yard and possibly filming me in my house; issues relating to privacy? I live in Wyomissing, and my neighbors are relatives of a certain pop star who comes from here. For the past three weeks, I've had a drone flying over my back yard and when I've been getting into the car and I suspect it's my neighbors doing it; they mentioned about getting interested in drones. The drone always appears whenever me and my wife and our 13-year-old daughter are getting in and out of the car, or in our backyard, and I'm not sure if they're filming me or not. Complianing to the neighbors resulted in a "GTFO" response. I've also had mail through the door from the neighbors saying I owe them $8,000 - but I've never done anything to involve that, I don't even do business with them (I work in IT maintenance for a living). My driveway has CCTV installed, I've seen the drone flying at 5 or 6am in the morning sometimes, on my front lawn, and it's getting annoying. I do have CCTV evidence. Not sure what I can do to stop them. Do I have "expectation of privacy" by my garage and in my backyard? I need some legal advice before I work out what to do next.
da4vu37
da4hpup
1,479,423,644
1,479,406,292
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Giant bird net. Mount it like a butterfly in a giant shadowbox. OOOH OOH OOH better idea: mist netting. Perfectly legal because it is designed NOT to harm or kill the birds or bats it captures, and your neighbors wouldn't see it. Plus, when their drone flies into the mist net, it will get all tangled and whatnot, and destroy your mist net, so then you can sue your neighbors in small claims court for the cost of the mist net! And if anyone asks, just tell them you were trying to find out what species of birds frequent your house! You're an amateur ornithologist!
Can you hear the drones? Maybe they are disturbing the peace, or together with the harassing note about owing them money you might be able to get a restraining order. What are your local laws and is the drone big enough to require FCC permit?
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bfrb13
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Neighbor Flying Drone over My Property (Indiana, USA) My neighbor and his kid keep flying a drone over and onto our property (Indiana USA). I can’t find an answer online that’s not in some confusing legal jargon - what are the laws in Indiana for flying a hobby/toy drone (with or without a camera) in a residential area? He’s landing it in our yard, flying it over our house... What are his rights, and what are mine?
elft24j
elfvyfk
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Although not yet a law in any state, the National Conference of Commisioners on Uniform State Laws (a group of lawyers that try and write model language with broad conous consensus that can readily be copy and pasted by state legislatures to have similar laws be more easily adopted nationwide), wrote draft language that’s a pretty balanced approach for both operators and property owners. But in the absence of a state law, it’s not trespassing for him to fly above your property. It would be trespassing for him to go onto your property to retrieve it, but you also can’t shoot it down or withhold it just because it lands on your property either. If he flies it specifically to harass you, that may be a separate crime; just as if he was using a phone to prank call you repeatedly and Harrass you. But being annoyed that he’s operating nearby isn’t enough to show harrasment.
He's free to fly it over your house, assuming he's not specifically doing it with the intent to harass you or film in your windows. He's not free to takeoff or land on your property. There are some more specific regulations that the FAA has set under part 107 regarding the use of drones, but the FAA basically never brings any enforcement actions unless you're almost literally buzzing players during the Superbowl.
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amy3s2
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My Terminally Ill son was electrocuted by his own heart [AZ] My 17-year old son has end-stage kidney disease, which means he has zero kidney function (he hasn’t peed in 5 years). One of the many wonderful side effects of this condition is heart problems, so he has a defibrillator (think “CLEAR” bzzzt) implanted in his chest. Recently he had a series of 9 cardiac arrests, the defibrillator did its job and shocked him, he is currently in the hospital recovering with about 30% of his heart function. Once he was in the hospital we found out that he actually only had 8 cardiac arrests; the first time the defibrillator went off unnecessarily, which triggered the other 8 arrests. The defibrillator was set off by a spike in his potassium level, which can be a sign of a heart attack, but it also very common in people without functioning kidneys. The doctors have been pretty clear that the subsequent cardiac arrests and resulting damage would not have happened without that initial shock. I am wondering if there is any possibility of suing the manufacturers of the implant? The reason I am here and not asking a lawyer is that he is my foster son and I don’t have normal parental rights on his behalf. However, if the Internet hive mind thinks this isn’t totally crazy, I could bring the idea to his case worker. This kid is not going to live long, and during that time will most likely be unable to work, and will require drastic forms of medical care. This horrifically painful, terrifying experience further lowered his chances of making it 5, or even 2, more years. If this is considered an reasonable risk for using a life saving device I can accept that, but I need to do everything I can to ensure that he is receiving the best care and resources possible.
efpik8q
efpgm58
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You're operating under some sort of false impression here. Defibrillators do not perform metabolic panels -- they have no way of detecting blood potassium levels.
My understanding of their operation is the electrolyte imbalance problem caused an electrical arrhythmia that triggered the internal defibrillator. It was probably not a malfunction, but the device operating as it should. It is doubtful, but you can take your child or speak to a medical malpractice attorney on behalf of the child as they would be the one to sue, not you.
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amy3s2
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My Terminally Ill son was electrocuted by his own heart [AZ] My 17-year old son has end-stage kidney disease, which means he has zero kidney function (he hasn’t peed in 5 years). One of the many wonderful side effects of this condition is heart problems, so he has a defibrillator (think “CLEAR” bzzzt) implanted in his chest. Recently he had a series of 9 cardiac arrests, the defibrillator did its job and shocked him, he is currently in the hospital recovering with about 30% of his heart function. Once he was in the hospital we found out that he actually only had 8 cardiac arrests; the first time the defibrillator went off unnecessarily, which triggered the other 8 arrests. The defibrillator was set off by a spike in his potassium level, which can be a sign of a heart attack, but it also very common in people without functioning kidneys. The doctors have been pretty clear that the subsequent cardiac arrests and resulting damage would not have happened without that initial shock. I am wondering if there is any possibility of suing the manufacturers of the implant? The reason I am here and not asking a lawyer is that he is my foster son and I don’t have normal parental rights on his behalf. However, if the Internet hive mind thinks this isn’t totally crazy, I could bring the idea to his case worker. This kid is not going to live long, and during that time will most likely be unable to work, and will require drastic forms of medical care. This horrifically painful, terrifying experience further lowered his chances of making it 5, or even 2, more years. If this is considered an reasonable risk for using a life saving device I can accept that, but I need to do everything I can to ensure that he is receiving the best care and resources possible.
efpgm58
efplf3n
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My understanding of their operation is the electrolyte imbalance problem caused an electrical arrhythmia that triggered the internal defibrillator. It was probably not a malfunction, but the device operating as it should. It is doubtful, but you can take your child or speak to a medical malpractice attorney on behalf of the child as they would be the one to sue, not you.
Defibrillators do not run lab values, they simply shock when the heart goes into a funky rhythm (that is predetermined to need a shock). An increased potassium level can most certainly lead to arrhythmias, which is most likely what caused the shock. This is the defibrillator doing the job it is designed to do.
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amy3s2
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My Terminally Ill son was electrocuted by his own heart [AZ] My 17-year old son has end-stage kidney disease, which means he has zero kidney function (he hasn’t peed in 5 years). One of the many wonderful side effects of this condition is heart problems, so he has a defibrillator (think “CLEAR” bzzzt) implanted in his chest. Recently he had a series of 9 cardiac arrests, the defibrillator did its job and shocked him, he is currently in the hospital recovering with about 30% of his heart function. Once he was in the hospital we found out that he actually only had 8 cardiac arrests; the first time the defibrillator went off unnecessarily, which triggered the other 8 arrests. The defibrillator was set off by a spike in his potassium level, which can be a sign of a heart attack, but it also very common in people without functioning kidneys. The doctors have been pretty clear that the subsequent cardiac arrests and resulting damage would not have happened without that initial shock. I am wondering if there is any possibility of suing the manufacturers of the implant? The reason I am here and not asking a lawyer is that he is my foster son and I don’t have normal parental rights on his behalf. However, if the Internet hive mind thinks this isn’t totally crazy, I could bring the idea to his case worker. This kid is not going to live long, and during that time will most likely be unable to work, and will require drastic forms of medical care. This horrifically painful, terrifying experience further lowered his chances of making it 5, or even 2, more years. If this is considered an reasonable risk for using a life saving device I can accept that, but I need to do everything I can to ensure that he is receiving the best care and resources possible.
efpkooz
efplf3n
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Not a lawyer and do not have a defib, but have a family member who has had one for +10 years. Defibs have two electrodes that go straight into the heart chambers, and I doubt they would be able to monitor the metabolic rate of potassium (someone else has commented this). Defibs are meant to track, attempt to reassert normal rhythm, and then if impossible provide a shock to reestablish proper electrical flow throughout the heart. Defibs are NOT foolproof, and those who have them must be on medication and exercise routines that limit stress on the heart because it can trigger the defibrillator. This is something that is VERY well documented, as the defibrillator is not foolproof and only reacts to the heart rhythm and therefore can discharge incorrectly under the proper circumstances. Therefore, for the defib to discharge, the boy's heart would need to have presented an arrhythmic pattern that (a) the defibrillator could not correct as its role as a pacemaker and (b) would simulate a cardiac arrest. It would be difficult in both cases to state that either of those were NOT life threatening without an almost immediate ECG/EKG to show the arrhythmia. Perhaps there was a potassium issue that caused an incorrect rhythm that then caused the defibrillator to correct it. Second of all, did the defibrillator react to ALL 8 of the cardiac arrests? Internal defibs have a rather limited battery life (surgery is required every 8-10 years) and the battery can only distribute a very small number of shocks. It is also well documented that repeated shocks to the heart are responsible for damage, but this is something that is discussed prior to a defib being implanted and it is up to the patient and/or guardians to weigh the risk factor. Tl;dr: The defibrillator did its job, and unless there is a recall (which you would've been contacted by a doctor IMMEDIATELY) or medical evidence gathered immediately after to show that there was no arrhythmia then there is not much to fight.
Defibrillators do not run lab values, they simply shock when the heart goes into a funky rhythm (that is predetermined to need a shock). An increased potassium level can most certainly lead to arrhythmias, which is most likely what caused the shock. This is the defibrillator doing the job it is designed to do.
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amy3s2
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My Terminally Ill son was electrocuted by his own heart [AZ] My 17-year old son has end-stage kidney disease, which means he has zero kidney function (he hasn’t peed in 5 years). One of the many wonderful side effects of this condition is heart problems, so he has a defibrillator (think “CLEAR” bzzzt) implanted in his chest. Recently he had a series of 9 cardiac arrests, the defibrillator did its job and shocked him, he is currently in the hospital recovering with about 30% of his heart function. Once he was in the hospital we found out that he actually only had 8 cardiac arrests; the first time the defibrillator went off unnecessarily, which triggered the other 8 arrests. The defibrillator was set off by a spike in his potassium level, which can be a sign of a heart attack, but it also very common in people without functioning kidneys. The doctors have been pretty clear that the subsequent cardiac arrests and resulting damage would not have happened without that initial shock. I am wondering if there is any possibility of suing the manufacturers of the implant? The reason I am here and not asking a lawyer is that he is my foster son and I don’t have normal parental rights on his behalf. However, if the Internet hive mind thinks this isn’t totally crazy, I could bring the idea to his case worker. This kid is not going to live long, and during that time will most likely be unable to work, and will require drastic forms of medical care. This horrifically painful, terrifying experience further lowered his chances of making it 5, or even 2, more years. If this is considered an reasonable risk for using a life saving device I can accept that, but I need to do everything I can to ensure that he is receiving the best care and resources possible.
efpgm58
efpnget
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My understanding of their operation is the electrolyte imbalance problem caused an electrical arrhythmia that triggered the internal defibrillator. It was probably not a malfunction, but the device operating as it should. It is doubtful, but you can take your child or speak to a medical malpractice attorney on behalf of the child as they would be the one to sue, not you.
There are two seperate issues here: 1. Did the implant work as designed. If yes, then no chance of a suit against the manufacturers 2. If it worked as designed, then was it suitably selected for your relative given his co-morbidities? If no, then you might have a shot of a suit against the doctors who selected and implanted it. Be very wary of relying on 'they told us at the hospital' as in a fast moving situation doctors do get things wrong and give explanations that either weren't right or can't be proved in court. Doi: medical dr
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My Terminally Ill son was electrocuted by his own heart [AZ] My 17-year old son has end-stage kidney disease, which means he has zero kidney function (he hasn’t peed in 5 years). One of the many wonderful side effects of this condition is heart problems, so he has a defibrillator (think “CLEAR” bzzzt) implanted in his chest. Recently he had a series of 9 cardiac arrests, the defibrillator did its job and shocked him, he is currently in the hospital recovering with about 30% of his heart function. Once he was in the hospital we found out that he actually only had 8 cardiac arrests; the first time the defibrillator went off unnecessarily, which triggered the other 8 arrests. The defibrillator was set off by a spike in his potassium level, which can be a sign of a heart attack, but it also very common in people without functioning kidneys. The doctors have been pretty clear that the subsequent cardiac arrests and resulting damage would not have happened without that initial shock. I am wondering if there is any possibility of suing the manufacturers of the implant? The reason I am here and not asking a lawyer is that he is my foster son and I don’t have normal parental rights on his behalf. However, if the Internet hive mind thinks this isn’t totally crazy, I could bring the idea to his case worker. This kid is not going to live long, and during that time will most likely be unable to work, and will require drastic forms of medical care. This horrifically painful, terrifying experience further lowered his chances of making it 5, or even 2, more years. If this is considered an reasonable risk for using a life saving device I can accept that, but I need to do everything I can to ensure that he is receiving the best care and resources possible.
efpkooz
efpnget
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Not a lawyer and do not have a defib, but have a family member who has had one for +10 years. Defibs have two electrodes that go straight into the heart chambers, and I doubt they would be able to monitor the metabolic rate of potassium (someone else has commented this). Defibs are meant to track, attempt to reassert normal rhythm, and then if impossible provide a shock to reestablish proper electrical flow throughout the heart. Defibs are NOT foolproof, and those who have them must be on medication and exercise routines that limit stress on the heart because it can trigger the defibrillator. This is something that is VERY well documented, as the defibrillator is not foolproof and only reacts to the heart rhythm and therefore can discharge incorrectly under the proper circumstances. Therefore, for the defib to discharge, the boy's heart would need to have presented an arrhythmic pattern that (a) the defibrillator could not correct as its role as a pacemaker and (b) would simulate a cardiac arrest. It would be difficult in both cases to state that either of those were NOT life threatening without an almost immediate ECG/EKG to show the arrhythmia. Perhaps there was a potassium issue that caused an incorrect rhythm that then caused the defibrillator to correct it. Second of all, did the defibrillator react to ALL 8 of the cardiac arrests? Internal defibs have a rather limited battery life (surgery is required every 8-10 years) and the battery can only distribute a very small number of shocks. It is also well documented that repeated shocks to the heart are responsible for damage, but this is something that is discussed prior to a defib being implanted and it is up to the patient and/or guardians to weigh the risk factor. Tl;dr: The defibrillator did its job, and unless there is a recall (which you would've been contacted by a doctor IMMEDIATELY) or medical evidence gathered immediately after to show that there was no arrhythmia then there is not much to fight.
There are two seperate issues here: 1. Did the implant work as designed. If yes, then no chance of a suit against the manufacturers 2. If it worked as designed, then was it suitably selected for your relative given his co-morbidities? If no, then you might have a shot of a suit against the doctors who selected and implanted it. Be very wary of relying on 'they told us at the hospital' as in a fast moving situation doctors do get things wrong and give explanations that either weren't right or can't be proved in court. Doi: medical dr
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amy3s2
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My Terminally Ill son was electrocuted by his own heart [AZ] My 17-year old son has end-stage kidney disease, which means he has zero kidney function (he hasn’t peed in 5 years). One of the many wonderful side effects of this condition is heart problems, so he has a defibrillator (think “CLEAR” bzzzt) implanted in his chest. Recently he had a series of 9 cardiac arrests, the defibrillator did its job and shocked him, he is currently in the hospital recovering with about 30% of his heart function. Once he was in the hospital we found out that he actually only had 8 cardiac arrests; the first time the defibrillator went off unnecessarily, which triggered the other 8 arrests. The defibrillator was set off by a spike in his potassium level, which can be a sign of a heart attack, but it also very common in people without functioning kidneys. The doctors have been pretty clear that the subsequent cardiac arrests and resulting damage would not have happened without that initial shock. I am wondering if there is any possibility of suing the manufacturers of the implant? The reason I am here and not asking a lawyer is that he is my foster son and I don’t have normal parental rights on his behalf. However, if the Internet hive mind thinks this isn’t totally crazy, I could bring the idea to his case worker. This kid is not going to live long, and during that time will most likely be unable to work, and will require drastic forms of medical care. This horrifically painful, terrifying experience further lowered his chances of making it 5, or even 2, more years. If this is considered an reasonable risk for using a life saving device I can accept that, but I need to do everything I can to ensure that he is receiving the best care and resources possible.
efq5ea1
efqcs7w
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5
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INAL. Oh dear. You are a foster parent and you don’t have any rights. . Only the parents and CPS have rights to do anything legally. Do you have medical POA re care? Best you can do is escalate to the caseworker your concerns. Are you in contact with parents? Do they still retain custody? Is there a legal guardianship in place? Or is there a guardian ad litem for the child? These are the questions to ask because as a foster parent you are hired to care for a child by the agency. I understand your concerns are very valid for the child and questions need to be asked and procedures to be followed. Hopefully others here with medical background can be helpful for you.
Potassium levels are not read by pacemakers. This doesn’t make sense at the most preliminary level. I think you need to discuss the actual course of events with your son’s team.
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clsbbe
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I want to withdraw my terminally Ill 5 yro from school. New York State (Not the City) My 5 yro has a terminal neurological illness. Microlissencephaly. He has a severe form. Can not communicate. No meaningful control over any part of his body. In school he gets mostly therapies instead of instruction. He's G-Tube fed seizures, respiratory issues and we have day and night nursing in the home. Developmentally about 3 months. We want to withdraw him from school altogether. We can schedule therapies on our own. Any thoughts on how?
evxkfj9
evxnnon
1,564,895,604
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Homeschool?
I am not a lawyer, but a certified special education teacher in NJ You can choose to homeschool him - and the district can provide OT/PT/whatever else they currently provide as they are the local education agencies. I did a quick googling and found this - http://www.p12.nysed.gov/sss/homeinstruction/homeschoolingqanda.html "May a district require parents to enroll their child in the public school if they plan to provide home instruction? No. Parents are not required to enroll their child in the public school if they plan to provide home instruction. However, the parent, if requested, must demonstrate that the child resides within the school district and is of compulsory age." I also found this - https://www.leah.org/parents-instructing-challenged-children/picc-faqs/ Have you also considered having the district do homebound instruction? It'd probably be pretty similar to what is going on now - but you'd have someone from the school there for a few hours a week. You'd just need his doctor to state that he needs homebound instruction.
0
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clsbbe
legaladvice_train
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I want to withdraw my terminally Ill 5 yro from school. New York State (Not the City) My 5 yro has a terminal neurological illness. Microlissencephaly. He has a severe form. Can not communicate. No meaningful control over any part of his body. In school he gets mostly therapies instead of instruction. He's G-Tube fed seizures, respiratory issues and we have day and night nursing in the home. Developmentally about 3 months. We want to withdraw him from school altogether. We can schedule therapies on our own. Any thoughts on how?
evxnnon
evxlgv0
1,564,899,255
1,564,896,725
128
13
I am not a lawyer, but a certified special education teacher in NJ You can choose to homeschool him - and the district can provide OT/PT/whatever else they currently provide as they are the local education agencies. I did a quick googling and found this - http://www.p12.nysed.gov/sss/homeinstruction/homeschoolingqanda.html "May a district require parents to enroll their child in the public school if they plan to provide home instruction? No. Parents are not required to enroll their child in the public school if they plan to provide home instruction. However, the parent, if requested, must demonstrate that the child resides within the school district and is of compulsory age." I also found this - https://www.leah.org/parents-instructing-challenged-children/picc-faqs/ Have you also considered having the district do homebound instruction? It'd probably be pretty similar to what is going on now - but you'd have someone from the school there for a few hours a week. You'd just need his doctor to state that he needs homebound instruction.
I do understand there are other factors at play, but does your city actually mandate that children his age must be enrolled? Not a lawyer
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clsbbe
legaladvice_train
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I want to withdraw my terminally Ill 5 yro from school. New York State (Not the City) My 5 yro has a terminal neurological illness. Microlissencephaly. He has a severe form. Can not communicate. No meaningful control over any part of his body. In school he gets mostly therapies instead of instruction. He's G-Tube fed seizures, respiratory issues and we have day and night nursing in the home. Developmentally about 3 months. We want to withdraw him from school altogether. We can schedule therapies on our own. Any thoughts on how?
evxkfj9
evxzla9
1,564,895,604
1,564,915,999
20
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Homeschool?
For a short time I worked truancy probation in MN. I had one child that had a doctors note saying they should not attend school due to severe mental health issues. I would think that if you had a doctors note excusing your child for a long term, you would have a legal excuse to excuse them from school. Or maybe the level of care they are recieving at school is not enough. Speaking with your child's Dr. and getting more documentation may help. Also I am sorry about your child's illness. Seek support groups as they may may have better advice as well.
0
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clsbbe
legaladvice_train
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I want to withdraw my terminally Ill 5 yro from school. New York State (Not the City) My 5 yro has a terminal neurological illness. Microlissencephaly. He has a severe form. Can not communicate. No meaningful control over any part of his body. In school he gets mostly therapies instead of instruction. He's G-Tube fed seizures, respiratory issues and we have day and night nursing in the home. Developmentally about 3 months. We want to withdraw him from school altogether. We can schedule therapies on our own. Any thoughts on how?
evxlgv0
evxzla9
1,564,896,725
1,564,915,999
13
44
I do understand there are other factors at play, but does your city actually mandate that children his age must be enrolled? Not a lawyer
For a short time I worked truancy probation in MN. I had one child that had a doctors note saying they should not attend school due to severe mental health issues. I would think that if you had a doctors note excusing your child for a long term, you would have a legal excuse to excuse them from school. Or maybe the level of care they are recieving at school is not enough. Speaking with your child's Dr. and getting more documentation may help. Also I am sorry about your child's illness. Seek support groups as they may may have better advice as well.
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8il3g0
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dysmwaq
dysqe9h
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Not really legal advice, but I recommend telling your aunt that she would be best served to make whatever funeral arrangements herself (or with your help) before she passes. Then you aren’t exactly telling her what your mother said, but you are allowing her to direct her funeral plans. In most states wills aren’t needed or even useful for funeral planning. Wills generally aren’t even looked st until after the funeral.
New York has a law wherein your aunt can appoint somebody other than her next of kin to have authority to plan disposition of her remains. See here for the form. It's not as formal and complicated as a will. If she's willing to sign this and appoint you (or another family member) as her representative, give copies of the form to whoever might be around when she dies (hospital or hospice staff, for example), and then make arrangements to follow her wishes.
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dysqe9h
dysmw7g
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New York has a law wherein your aunt can appoint somebody other than her next of kin to have authority to plan disposition of her remains. See here for the form. It's not as formal and complicated as a will. If she's willing to sign this and appoint you (or another family member) as her representative, give copies of the form to whoever might be around when she dies (hospital or hospice staff, for example), and then make arrangements to follow her wishes.
If you want to save your aunt some anger and pain, maybe you should talk with her about what she wants and ask her to make you the executor of her estate. Try doing it without all the drama of mom. If you cant keep mom out of it, just mention how mom has Always had problems with her lifestyle and that you want to make sure everything is done according to her wishes and not mom's. Obviously if cimes to it, tell her the truth but try the less dramstic route to try and save some end of days pains for your aunt. I'm sorry you have to deal with this when you already have to deal with dying relative.
1
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8il3g0
legaladvice_train
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dysmndm
dysqe9h
1,526,013,171
1,526,019,363
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930
Definitely don't keep it a secret. No one deserves to be treated like that after death. As for legal advice, I have no words.
New York has a law wherein your aunt can appoint somebody other than her next of kin to have authority to plan disposition of her remains. See here for the form. It's not as formal and complicated as a will. If she's willing to sign this and appoint you (or another family member) as her representative, give copies of the form to whoever might be around when she dies (hospital or hospice staff, for example), and then make arrangements to follow her wishes.
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8il3g0
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dysqe9h
dysmmmw
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New York has a law wherein your aunt can appoint somebody other than her next of kin to have authority to plan disposition of her remains. See here for the form. It's not as formal and complicated as a will. If she's willing to sign this and appoint you (or another family member) as her representative, give copies of the form to whoever might be around when she dies (hospital or hospice staff, for example), and then make arrangements to follow her wishes.
Depending on what you want your future relationship with your Mom to be, and how you want your aunt to feel about your Mom in her last days, if your aunt is lucid could you tell her the truth and be changed over to her next off kin? The fall out could be your Mom taking out her homophobia on you (like secondhand anger, etc) and if your aunt thinks your Mom loves her and will respect her wishes, then it would really hurt her to know the truth
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8il3g0
legaladvice_train
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dysmwaq
dysmw7g
1,526,013,533
1,526,013,529
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Not really legal advice, but I recommend telling your aunt that she would be best served to make whatever funeral arrangements herself (or with your help) before she passes. Then you aren’t exactly telling her what your mother said, but you are allowing her to direct her funeral plans. In most states wills aren’t needed or even useful for funeral planning. Wills generally aren’t even looked st until after the funeral.
If you want to save your aunt some anger and pain, maybe you should talk with her about what she wants and ask her to make you the executor of her estate. Try doing it without all the drama of mom. If you cant keep mom out of it, just mention how mom has Always had problems with her lifestyle and that you want to make sure everything is done according to her wishes and not mom's. Obviously if cimes to it, tell her the truth but try the less dramstic route to try and save some end of days pains for your aunt. I'm sorry you have to deal with this when you already have to deal with dying relative.
1
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8il3g0
legaladvice_train
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dysmndm
dysmwaq
1,526,013,171
1,526,013,533
75
604
Definitely don't keep it a secret. No one deserves to be treated like that after death. As for legal advice, I have no words.
Not really legal advice, but I recommend telling your aunt that she would be best served to make whatever funeral arrangements herself (or with your help) before she passes. Then you aren’t exactly telling her what your mother said, but you are allowing her to direct her funeral plans. In most states wills aren’t needed or even useful for funeral planning. Wills generally aren’t even looked st until after the funeral.
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8il3g0
legaladvice_train
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dysmwaq
dysmmmw
1,526,013,533
1,526,013,139
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Not really legal advice, but I recommend telling your aunt that she would be best served to make whatever funeral arrangements herself (or with your help) before she passes. Then you aren’t exactly telling her what your mother said, but you are allowing her to direct her funeral plans. In most states wills aren’t needed or even useful for funeral planning. Wills generally aren’t even looked st until after the funeral.
Depending on what you want your future relationship with your Mom to be, and how you want your aunt to feel about your Mom in her last days, if your aunt is lucid could you tell her the truth and be changed over to her next off kin? The fall out could be your Mom taking out her homophobia on you (like secondhand anger, etc) and if your aunt thinks your Mom loves her and will respect her wishes, then it would really hurt her to know the truth
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8il3g0
legaladvice_train
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dysmw7g
dysmndm
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1,526,013,171
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If you want to save your aunt some anger and pain, maybe you should talk with her about what she wants and ask her to make you the executor of her estate. Try doing it without all the drama of mom. If you cant keep mom out of it, just mention how mom has Always had problems with her lifestyle and that you want to make sure everything is done according to her wishes and not mom's. Obviously if cimes to it, tell her the truth but try the less dramstic route to try and save some end of days pains for your aunt. I'm sorry you have to deal with this when you already have to deal with dying relative.
Definitely don't keep it a secret. No one deserves to be treated like that after death. As for legal advice, I have no words.
1
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8il3g0
legaladvice_train
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dysmw7g
dysmmmw
1,526,013,529
1,526,013,139
397
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If you want to save your aunt some anger and pain, maybe you should talk with her about what she wants and ask her to make you the executor of her estate. Try doing it without all the drama of mom. If you cant keep mom out of it, just mention how mom has Always had problems with her lifestyle and that you want to make sure everything is done according to her wishes and not mom's. Obviously if cimes to it, tell her the truth but try the less dramstic route to try and save some end of days pains for your aunt. I'm sorry you have to deal with this when you already have to deal with dying relative.
Depending on what you want your future relationship with your Mom to be, and how you want your aunt to feel about your Mom in her last days, if your aunt is lucid could you tell her the truth and be changed over to her next off kin? The fall out could be your Mom taking out her homophobia on you (like secondhand anger, etc) and if your aunt thinks your Mom loves her and will respect her wishes, then it would really hurt her to know the truth
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8il3g0
legaladvice_train
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dysrt5w
dysmndm
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>She made me promise to keep this a secret Lol fuck that, tell everyone. Is your terminally ill aunt awake and aware enough to make her own decisions?
Definitely don't keep it a secret. No one deserves to be treated like that after death. As for legal advice, I have no words.
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8il3g0
legaladvice_train
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dysmmmw
dysrt5w
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Depending on what you want your future relationship with your Mom to be, and how you want your aunt to feel about your Mom in her last days, if your aunt is lucid could you tell her the truth and be changed over to her next off kin? The fall out could be your Mom taking out her homophobia on you (like secondhand anger, etc) and if your aunt thinks your Mom loves her and will respect her wishes, then it would really hurt her to know the truth
>She made me promise to keep this a secret Lol fuck that, tell everyone. Is your terminally ill aunt awake and aware enough to make her own decisions?
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dysrt5w
dysrjbd
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>She made me promise to keep this a secret Lol fuck that, tell everyone. Is your terminally ill aunt awake and aware enough to make her own decisions?
Tell your aunt asap.
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8il3g0
legaladvice_train
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dysvqgu
dysmndm
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Why hold a secret of a homophobe? You're not one yourself it seems like. That secret is dirty, mean, vindictive, childish, abusive, self-righteous and self-serving. It just outed your mother as a HORRIBLE person to want to have that sort of power over someone, regardless of what they...ahem..."did wrong". The only one deserving of hurt is your mother here.
Definitely don't keep it a secret. No one deserves to be treated like that after death. As for legal advice, I have no words.
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dysvqgu
dysmmmw
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Why hold a secret of a homophobe? You're not one yourself it seems like. That secret is dirty, mean, vindictive, childish, abusive, self-righteous and self-serving. It just outed your mother as a HORRIBLE person to want to have that sort of power over someone, regardless of what they...ahem..."did wrong". The only one deserving of hurt is your mother here.
Depending on what you want your future relationship with your Mom to be, and how you want your aunt to feel about your Mom in her last days, if your aunt is lucid could you tell her the truth and be changed over to her next off kin? The fall out could be your Mom taking out her homophobia on you (like secondhand anger, etc) and if your aunt thinks your Mom loves her and will respect her wishes, then it would really hurt her to know the truth
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legaladvice_train
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dysvqgu
dysrjbd
1,526,031,244
1,526,021,590
90
19
Why hold a secret of a homophobe? You're not one yourself it seems like. That secret is dirty, mean, vindictive, childish, abusive, self-righteous and self-serving. It just outed your mother as a HORRIBLE person to want to have that sort of power over someone, regardless of what they...ahem..."did wrong". The only one deserving of hurt is your mother here.
Tell your aunt asap.
1
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8il3g0
legaladvice_train
0.96
My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dysmndm
dysmmmw
1,526,013,171
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Definitely don't keep it a secret. No one deserves to be treated like that after death. As for legal advice, I have no words.
Depending on what you want your future relationship with your Mom to be, and how you want your aunt to feel about your Mom in her last days, if your aunt is lucid could you tell her the truth and be changed over to her next off kin? The fall out could be your Mom taking out her homophobia on you (like secondhand anger, etc) and if your aunt thinks your Mom loves her and will respect her wishes, then it would really hurt her to know the truth
1
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8il3g0
legaladvice_train
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dyt5vip
dysmmmw
1,526,046,591
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I agree with the others that you should (if possible) get your aunt to help with funeral planning and pre-paying. A lot of people actually find it kind of comforting because they get to design the sort of service that they're happiest with. My grandmother helped design her memorial mass and the little booklet we gave out with a really good picture of her and a couple prayers she loved, and some thoughts for her loved ones. When my mom was ill, we even went through old photo albums, both to select pictures for the memorial video, but also to relive some old memories, remember good friends and good times and good travels, and it just generally brought her spirits up. > she wants to be buried in family plot. And, practical advice: find out who has the deeds to the plot. If its your mom, you might run into trouble because whoever owns the deed controls who gets buried there. Ideally, the deed to one of the spaces in the plot is in your Aunt's name or possession when she dies. As a *complete* aside, two things we've done on our funerals: you know those mass cards they have? Our funeral homes let us choose which cards we wanted, and they all came with various stock images on one side - roses, a cross, a rainbow, etc. Those stock images can be changed, and we had ours changed to a picture of the person we had lost. So the back has the little memorial quote, and the front has a really nice picture of the person. Everyone loves those, because it gives them something more "real" to remember the person by, it ties the person to the mass card, and everyone who never happened to have a photo of the person now has one. And secondly, does your Aunt have a large-ish collection of small items that was special to her but that no one really wants / is too large for one person, or that no one is sure what to do with? We put my mom's (very large) collection of coffee mugs that she collected throughout her travels, and a tiny portion my best friend's *extremely* extensive collection of Christmas ornaments out at their viewings, then invited everyone to take one that they liked, in memorium of their friendship over the years. Now everyone has something 'meaningful' from the person they loved, that they can use or look at, and we had a little less stuff that was going to hurt to dispose of afterward.
Depending on what you want your future relationship with your Mom to be, and how you want your aunt to feel about your Mom in her last days, if your aunt is lucid could you tell her the truth and be changed over to her next off kin? The fall out could be your Mom taking out her homophobia on you (like secondhand anger, etc) and if your aunt thinks your Mom loves her and will respect her wishes, then it would really hurt her to know the truth
1
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1.518519
8il3g0
legaladvice_train
0.96
My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dyszn40
dyt5vip
1,526,038,918
1,526,046,591
25
41
Your aunt can make her own funeral arrangements ahead of time and pay for them in advance. She can leave instructions with her caretakers (hospital, hospice, etc.) stating what funeral home she is to be sent to. Also, I am not a lawyer, but can somebody tell us whether it’s even legal to just dump ashes wherever you want?
I agree with the others that you should (if possible) get your aunt to help with funeral planning and pre-paying. A lot of people actually find it kind of comforting because they get to design the sort of service that they're happiest with. My grandmother helped design her memorial mass and the little booklet we gave out with a really good picture of her and a couple prayers she loved, and some thoughts for her loved ones. When my mom was ill, we even went through old photo albums, both to select pictures for the memorial video, but also to relive some old memories, remember good friends and good times and good travels, and it just generally brought her spirits up. > she wants to be buried in family plot. And, practical advice: find out who has the deeds to the plot. If its your mom, you might run into trouble because whoever owns the deed controls who gets buried there. Ideally, the deed to one of the spaces in the plot is in your Aunt's name or possession when she dies. As a *complete* aside, two things we've done on our funerals: you know those mass cards they have? Our funeral homes let us choose which cards we wanted, and they all came with various stock images on one side - roses, a cross, a rainbow, etc. Those stock images can be changed, and we had ours changed to a picture of the person we had lost. So the back has the little memorial quote, and the front has a really nice picture of the person. Everyone loves those, because it gives them something more "real" to remember the person by, it ties the person to the mass card, and everyone who never happened to have a photo of the person now has one. And secondly, does your Aunt have a large-ish collection of small items that was special to her but that no one really wants / is too large for one person, or that no one is sure what to do with? We put my mom's (very large) collection of coffee mugs that she collected throughout her travels, and a tiny portion my best friend's *extremely* extensive collection of Christmas ornaments out at their viewings, then invited everyone to take one that they liked, in memorium of their friendship over the years. Now everyone has something 'meaningful' from the person they loved, that they can use or look at, and we had a little less stuff that was going to hurt to dispose of afterward.
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legaladvice_train
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dyt5vip
dysrjbd
1,526,046,591
1,526,021,590
41
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I agree with the others that you should (if possible) get your aunt to help with funeral planning and pre-paying. A lot of people actually find it kind of comforting because they get to design the sort of service that they're happiest with. My grandmother helped design her memorial mass and the little booklet we gave out with a really good picture of her and a couple prayers she loved, and some thoughts for her loved ones. When my mom was ill, we even went through old photo albums, both to select pictures for the memorial video, but also to relive some old memories, remember good friends and good times and good travels, and it just generally brought her spirits up. > she wants to be buried in family plot. And, practical advice: find out who has the deeds to the plot. If its your mom, you might run into trouble because whoever owns the deed controls who gets buried there. Ideally, the deed to one of the spaces in the plot is in your Aunt's name or possession when she dies. As a *complete* aside, two things we've done on our funerals: you know those mass cards they have? Our funeral homes let us choose which cards we wanted, and they all came with various stock images on one side - roses, a cross, a rainbow, etc. Those stock images can be changed, and we had ours changed to a picture of the person we had lost. So the back has the little memorial quote, and the front has a really nice picture of the person. Everyone loves those, because it gives them something more "real" to remember the person by, it ties the person to the mass card, and everyone who never happened to have a photo of the person now has one. And secondly, does your Aunt have a large-ish collection of small items that was special to her but that no one really wants / is too large for one person, or that no one is sure what to do with? We put my mom's (very large) collection of coffee mugs that she collected throughout her travels, and a tiny portion my best friend's *extremely* extensive collection of Christmas ornaments out at their viewings, then invited everyone to take one that they liked, in memorium of their friendship over the years. Now everyone has something 'meaningful' from the person they loved, that they can use or look at, and we had a little less stuff that was going to hurt to dispose of afterward.
Tell your aunt asap.
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legaladvice_train
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dyswd7u
dyt5vip
1,526,032,720
1,526,046,591
16
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Tell your aunt!!!! Have her make a will and you be in charge. End of story... well... You should also smack your mom right on the ear, when she complains about ringing in her ear just wind up and even it out.
I agree with the others that you should (if possible) get your aunt to help with funeral planning and pre-paying. A lot of people actually find it kind of comforting because they get to design the sort of service that they're happiest with. My grandmother helped design her memorial mass and the little booklet we gave out with a really good picture of her and a couple prayers she loved, and some thoughts for her loved ones. When my mom was ill, we even went through old photo albums, both to select pictures for the memorial video, but also to relive some old memories, remember good friends and good times and good travels, and it just generally brought her spirits up. > she wants to be buried in family plot. And, practical advice: find out who has the deeds to the plot. If its your mom, you might run into trouble because whoever owns the deed controls who gets buried there. Ideally, the deed to one of the spaces in the plot is in your Aunt's name or possession when she dies. As a *complete* aside, two things we've done on our funerals: you know those mass cards they have? Our funeral homes let us choose which cards we wanted, and they all came with various stock images on one side - roses, a cross, a rainbow, etc. Those stock images can be changed, and we had ours changed to a picture of the person we had lost. So the back has the little memorial quote, and the front has a really nice picture of the person. Everyone loves those, because it gives them something more "real" to remember the person by, it ties the person to the mass card, and everyone who never happened to have a photo of the person now has one. And secondly, does your Aunt have a large-ish collection of small items that was special to her but that no one really wants / is too large for one person, or that no one is sure what to do with? We put my mom's (very large) collection of coffee mugs that she collected throughout her travels, and a tiny portion my best friend's *extremely* extensive collection of Christmas ornaments out at their viewings, then invited everyone to take one that they liked, in memorium of their friendship over the years. Now everyone has something 'meaningful' from the person they loved, that they can use or look at, and we had a little less stuff that was going to hurt to dispose of afterward.
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legaladvice_train
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dyt383e
dyt5vip
1,526,043,737
1,526,046,591
8
41
You aren't obligated to keep a secret told to you by someone who is trying to fuck someone else over...
I agree with the others that you should (if possible) get your aunt to help with funeral planning and pre-paying. A lot of people actually find it kind of comforting because they get to design the sort of service that they're happiest with. My grandmother helped design her memorial mass and the little booklet we gave out with a really good picture of her and a couple prayers she loved, and some thoughts for her loved ones. When my mom was ill, we even went through old photo albums, both to select pictures for the memorial video, but also to relive some old memories, remember good friends and good times and good travels, and it just generally brought her spirits up. > she wants to be buried in family plot. And, practical advice: find out who has the deeds to the plot. If its your mom, you might run into trouble because whoever owns the deed controls who gets buried there. Ideally, the deed to one of the spaces in the plot is in your Aunt's name or possession when she dies. As a *complete* aside, two things we've done on our funerals: you know those mass cards they have? Our funeral homes let us choose which cards we wanted, and they all came with various stock images on one side - roses, a cross, a rainbow, etc. Those stock images can be changed, and we had ours changed to a picture of the person we had lost. So the back has the little memorial quote, and the front has a really nice picture of the person. Everyone loves those, because it gives them something more "real" to remember the person by, it ties the person to the mass card, and everyone who never happened to have a photo of the person now has one. And secondly, does your Aunt have a large-ish collection of small items that was special to her but that no one really wants / is too large for one person, or that no one is sure what to do with? We put my mom's (very large) collection of coffee mugs that she collected throughout her travels, and a tiny portion my best friend's *extremely* extensive collection of Christmas ornaments out at their viewings, then invited everyone to take one that they liked, in memorium of their friendship over the years. Now everyone has something 'meaningful' from the person they loved, that they can use or look at, and we had a little less stuff that was going to hurt to dispose of afterward.
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legaladvice_train
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dyszjks
dyt5vip
1,526,038,771
1,526,046,591
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Is your mom's opinion stemming from a religious conviction she has? If so, I can give you some advice on what to say to speak to her spirituality if that's the route you would like to take.
I agree with the others that you should (if possible) get your aunt to help with funeral planning and pre-paying. A lot of people actually find it kind of comforting because they get to design the sort of service that they're happiest with. My grandmother helped design her memorial mass and the little booklet we gave out with a really good picture of her and a couple prayers she loved, and some thoughts for her loved ones. When my mom was ill, we even went through old photo albums, both to select pictures for the memorial video, but also to relive some old memories, remember good friends and good times and good travels, and it just generally brought her spirits up. > she wants to be buried in family plot. And, practical advice: find out who has the deeds to the plot. If its your mom, you might run into trouble because whoever owns the deed controls who gets buried there. Ideally, the deed to one of the spaces in the plot is in your Aunt's name or possession when she dies. As a *complete* aside, two things we've done on our funerals: you know those mass cards they have? Our funeral homes let us choose which cards we wanted, and they all came with various stock images on one side - roses, a cross, a rainbow, etc. Those stock images can be changed, and we had ours changed to a picture of the person we had lost. So the back has the little memorial quote, and the front has a really nice picture of the person. Everyone loves those, because it gives them something more "real" to remember the person by, it ties the person to the mass card, and everyone who never happened to have a photo of the person now has one. And secondly, does your Aunt have a large-ish collection of small items that was special to her but that no one really wants / is too large for one person, or that no one is sure what to do with? We put my mom's (very large) collection of coffee mugs that she collected throughout her travels, and a tiny portion my best friend's *extremely* extensive collection of Christmas ornaments out at their viewings, then invited everyone to take one that they liked, in memorium of their friendship over the years. Now everyone has something 'meaningful' from the person they loved, that they can use or look at, and we had a little less stuff that was going to hurt to dispose of afterward.
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legaladvice_train
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dyt5vip
dyt1r3c
1,526,046,591
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41
8
I agree with the others that you should (if possible) get your aunt to help with funeral planning and pre-paying. A lot of people actually find it kind of comforting because they get to design the sort of service that they're happiest with. My grandmother helped design her memorial mass and the little booklet we gave out with a really good picture of her and a couple prayers she loved, and some thoughts for her loved ones. When my mom was ill, we even went through old photo albums, both to select pictures for the memorial video, but also to relive some old memories, remember good friends and good times and good travels, and it just generally brought her spirits up. > she wants to be buried in family plot. And, practical advice: find out who has the deeds to the plot. If its your mom, you might run into trouble because whoever owns the deed controls who gets buried there. Ideally, the deed to one of the spaces in the plot is in your Aunt's name or possession when she dies. As a *complete* aside, two things we've done on our funerals: you know those mass cards they have? Our funeral homes let us choose which cards we wanted, and they all came with various stock images on one side - roses, a cross, a rainbow, etc. Those stock images can be changed, and we had ours changed to a picture of the person we had lost. So the back has the little memorial quote, and the front has a really nice picture of the person. Everyone loves those, because it gives them something more "real" to remember the person by, it ties the person to the mass card, and everyone who never happened to have a photo of the person now has one. And secondly, does your Aunt have a large-ish collection of small items that was special to her but that no one really wants / is too large for one person, or that no one is sure what to do with? We put my mom's (very large) collection of coffee mugs that she collected throughout her travels, and a tiny portion my best friend's *extremely* extensive collection of Christmas ornaments out at their viewings, then invited everyone to take one that they liked, in memorium of their friendship over the years. Now everyone has something 'meaningful' from the person they loved, that they can use or look at, and we had a little less stuff that was going to hurt to dispose of afterward.
Yes; tell your aunt, so she can begin her death aftercare plans herself. She doesn't deserve to be disrespected in death like this. You would also be legally within your rights to tell your mom to fuck off into the sunset.
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dyt5vip
dyt2lhh
1,526,046,591
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41
6
I agree with the others that you should (if possible) get your aunt to help with funeral planning and pre-paying. A lot of people actually find it kind of comforting because they get to design the sort of service that they're happiest with. My grandmother helped design her memorial mass and the little booklet we gave out with a really good picture of her and a couple prayers she loved, and some thoughts for her loved ones. When my mom was ill, we even went through old photo albums, both to select pictures for the memorial video, but also to relive some old memories, remember good friends and good times and good travels, and it just generally brought her spirits up. > she wants to be buried in family plot. And, practical advice: find out who has the deeds to the plot. If its your mom, you might run into trouble because whoever owns the deed controls who gets buried there. Ideally, the deed to one of the spaces in the plot is in your Aunt's name or possession when she dies. As a *complete* aside, two things we've done on our funerals: you know those mass cards they have? Our funeral homes let us choose which cards we wanted, and they all came with various stock images on one side - roses, a cross, a rainbow, etc. Those stock images can be changed, and we had ours changed to a picture of the person we had lost. So the back has the little memorial quote, and the front has a really nice picture of the person. Everyone loves those, because it gives them something more "real" to remember the person by, it ties the person to the mass card, and everyone who never happened to have a photo of the person now has one. And secondly, does your Aunt have a large-ish collection of small items that was special to her but that no one really wants / is too large for one person, or that no one is sure what to do with? We put my mom's (very large) collection of coffee mugs that she collected throughout her travels, and a tiny portion my best friend's *extremely* extensive collection of Christmas ornaments out at their viewings, then invited everyone to take one that they liked, in memorium of their friendship over the years. Now everyone has something 'meaningful' from the person they loved, that they can use or look at, and we had a little less stuff that was going to hurt to dispose of afterward.
I'm sorry you're in this position and I don't know how old you are but I can see you're trying to keep the peace with your mother. That said, I wonder how your mother would feel if it were done to her or you? Maybe you need to point that out. If that doesn't work, don't keep a secret from someone you love knowing what their last wish is. Who has control over the family plot? If it's not your mother speak to them. Your Aunt doesn't need to be treated like this for living life the way she chose to. If you have no other choice speak to your Aunt.
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dyt5vip
dyt3jpl
1,526,046,591
1,526,044,115
41
3
I agree with the others that you should (if possible) get your aunt to help with funeral planning and pre-paying. A lot of people actually find it kind of comforting because they get to design the sort of service that they're happiest with. My grandmother helped design her memorial mass and the little booklet we gave out with a really good picture of her and a couple prayers she loved, and some thoughts for her loved ones. When my mom was ill, we even went through old photo albums, both to select pictures for the memorial video, but also to relive some old memories, remember good friends and good times and good travels, and it just generally brought her spirits up. > she wants to be buried in family plot. And, practical advice: find out who has the deeds to the plot. If its your mom, you might run into trouble because whoever owns the deed controls who gets buried there. Ideally, the deed to one of the spaces in the plot is in your Aunt's name or possession when she dies. As a *complete* aside, two things we've done on our funerals: you know those mass cards they have? Our funeral homes let us choose which cards we wanted, and they all came with various stock images on one side - roses, a cross, a rainbow, etc. Those stock images can be changed, and we had ours changed to a picture of the person we had lost. So the back has the little memorial quote, and the front has a really nice picture of the person. Everyone loves those, because it gives them something more "real" to remember the person by, it ties the person to the mass card, and everyone who never happened to have a photo of the person now has one. And secondly, does your Aunt have a large-ish collection of small items that was special to her but that no one really wants / is too large for one person, or that no one is sure what to do with? We put my mom's (very large) collection of coffee mugs that she collected throughout her travels, and a tiny portion my best friend's *extremely* extensive collection of Christmas ornaments out at their viewings, then invited everyone to take one that they liked, in memorium of their friendship over the years. Now everyone has something 'meaningful' from the person they loved, that they can use or look at, and we had a little less stuff that was going to hurt to dispose of afterward.
You need to talk with your Aunt and make sure her Durable Power of Attorney isn't your mom. She needs to make sure you mom isn't making end of life decisions and get another person who will respect her wishes to take care of things.
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dyt4a9c
dyt5vip
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You can tell your aunt so she'll appoint someone else, maybe you, to have authority over how her remains are treated.
I agree with the others that you should (if possible) get your aunt to help with funeral planning and pre-paying. A lot of people actually find it kind of comforting because they get to design the sort of service that they're happiest with. My grandmother helped design her memorial mass and the little booklet we gave out with a really good picture of her and a couple prayers she loved, and some thoughts for her loved ones. When my mom was ill, we even went through old photo albums, both to select pictures for the memorial video, but also to relive some old memories, remember good friends and good times and good travels, and it just generally brought her spirits up. > she wants to be buried in family plot. And, practical advice: find out who has the deeds to the plot. If its your mom, you might run into trouble because whoever owns the deed controls who gets buried there. Ideally, the deed to one of the spaces in the plot is in your Aunt's name or possession when she dies. As a *complete* aside, two things we've done on our funerals: you know those mass cards they have? Our funeral homes let us choose which cards we wanted, and they all came with various stock images on one side - roses, a cross, a rainbow, etc. Those stock images can be changed, and we had ours changed to a picture of the person we had lost. So the back has the little memorial quote, and the front has a really nice picture of the person. Everyone loves those, because it gives them something more "real" to remember the person by, it ties the person to the mass card, and everyone who never happened to have a photo of the person now has one. And secondly, does your Aunt have a large-ish collection of small items that was special to her but that no one really wants / is too large for one person, or that no one is sure what to do with? We put my mom's (very large) collection of coffee mugs that she collected throughout her travels, and a tiny portion my best friend's *extremely* extensive collection of Christmas ornaments out at their viewings, then invited everyone to take one that they liked, in memorium of their friendship over the years. Now everyone has something 'meaningful' from the person they loved, that they can use or look at, and we had a little less stuff that was going to hurt to dispose of afterward.
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dyszn40
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Your aunt can make her own funeral arrangements ahead of time and pay for them in advance. She can leave instructions with her caretakers (hospital, hospice, etc.) stating what funeral home she is to be sent to. Also, I am not a lawyer, but can somebody tell us whether it’s even legal to just dump ashes wherever you want?
Tell your aunt asap.
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dyszn40
dyswd7u
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Your aunt can make her own funeral arrangements ahead of time and pay for them in advance. She can leave instructions with her caretakers (hospital, hospice, etc.) stating what funeral home she is to be sent to. Also, I am not a lawyer, but can somebody tell us whether it’s even legal to just dump ashes wherever you want?
Tell your aunt!!!! Have her make a will and you be in charge. End of story... well... You should also smack your mom right on the ear, when she complains about ringing in her ear just wind up and even it out.
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dyszn40
dyszjks
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Your aunt can make her own funeral arrangements ahead of time and pay for them in advance. She can leave instructions with her caretakers (hospital, hospice, etc.) stating what funeral home she is to be sent to. Also, I am not a lawyer, but can somebody tell us whether it’s even legal to just dump ashes wherever you want?
Is your mom's opinion stemming from a religious conviction she has? If so, I can give you some advice on what to say to speak to her spirituality if that's the route you would like to take.
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8il3g0
legaladvice_train
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dyt67ef
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If you love your Aunt, I wouldn't keep this secret. Your Aunt needs to simply make a will & have those people who really love her make arrangements. In the will she should leave something small to "Mother" so she won't have a legal leg to stand on with contesting the will.
You aren't obligated to keep a secret told to you by someone who is trying to fuck someone else over...
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dyszjks
dyt67ef
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Is your mom's opinion stemming from a religious conviction she has? If so, I can give you some advice on what to say to speak to her spirituality if that's the route you would like to take.
If you love your Aunt, I wouldn't keep this secret. Your Aunt needs to simply make a will & have those people who really love her make arrangements. In the will she should leave something small to "Mother" so she won't have a legal leg to stand on with contesting the will.
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dyt1r3c
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Yes; tell your aunt, so she can begin her death aftercare plans herself. She doesn't deserve to be disrespected in death like this. You would also be legally within your rights to tell your mom to fuck off into the sunset.
If you love your Aunt, I wouldn't keep this secret. Your Aunt needs to simply make a will & have those people who really love her make arrangements. In the will she should leave something small to "Mother" so she won't have a legal leg to stand on with contesting the will.
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dyt2lhh
dyt67ef
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I'm sorry you're in this position and I don't know how old you are but I can see you're trying to keep the peace with your mother. That said, I wonder how your mother would feel if it were done to her or you? Maybe you need to point that out. If that doesn't work, don't keep a secret from someone you love knowing what their last wish is. Who has control over the family plot? If it's not your mother speak to them. Your Aunt doesn't need to be treated like this for living life the way she chose to. If you have no other choice speak to your Aunt.
If you love your Aunt, I wouldn't keep this secret. Your Aunt needs to simply make a will & have those people who really love her make arrangements. In the will she should leave something small to "Mother" so she won't have a legal leg to stand on with contesting the will.
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dyt67ef
dyt3jpl
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If you love your Aunt, I wouldn't keep this secret. Your Aunt needs to simply make a will & have those people who really love her make arrangements. In the will she should leave something small to "Mother" so she won't have a legal leg to stand on with contesting the will.
You need to talk with your Aunt and make sure her Durable Power of Attorney isn't your mom. She needs to make sure you mom isn't making end of life decisions and get another person who will respect her wishes to take care of things.
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dyt67ef
dyt4a9c
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If you love your Aunt, I wouldn't keep this secret. Your Aunt needs to simply make a will & have those people who really love her make arrangements. In the will she should leave something small to "Mother" so she won't have a legal leg to stand on with contesting the will.
You can tell your aunt so she'll appoint someone else, maybe you, to have authority over how her remains are treated.
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dyt383e
dyszjks
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You aren't obligated to keep a secret told to you by someone who is trying to fuck someone else over...
Is your mom's opinion stemming from a religious conviction she has? If so, I can give you some advice on what to say to speak to her spirituality if that's the route you would like to take.
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dyt383e
dyt2lhh
1,526,043,737
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You aren't obligated to keep a secret told to you by someone who is trying to fuck someone else over...
I'm sorry you're in this position and I don't know how old you are but I can see you're trying to keep the peace with your mother. That said, I wonder how your mother would feel if it were done to her or you? Maybe you need to point that out. If that doesn't work, don't keep a secret from someone you love knowing what their last wish is. Who has control over the family plot? If it's not your mother speak to them. Your Aunt doesn't need to be treated like this for living life the way she chose to. If you have no other choice speak to your Aunt.
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My lesbian aunt is terminally ill and my homophobic mom confided to me that she is going to cremate my aunt against her wishes, then dump the ashes in a stinking polluted canal. anything I can do? NY My lesbian aunt with stage 4 cancer has told various people that she wants to be buried in family plot. But her next of kin is my homophobic mom, who told me that she is gonna have my aunt cremated, then dump the ashes in an extremely polluted canal, and not have any type of service for her. She made me promise to keep this a secret. My aunt doesn't have a will and doesn't want to make one. Is there anything i can do?
dyszjks
dyt1r3c
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Is your mom's opinion stemming from a religious conviction she has? If so, I can give you some advice on what to say to speak to her spirituality if that's the route you would like to take.
Yes; tell your aunt, so she can begin her death aftercare plans herself. She doesn't deserve to be disrespected in death like this. You would also be legally within your rights to tell your mom to fuck off into the sunset.
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I live in Washington State. Can I be prosecuted for gifting my terminally ill father a firearm? Throwaway for obvious reasons. My father is, and has been, very sick for about a year. He was diagnosed with two different forms of aggressive, untreatable lymphomas. He has nerve death in his feet from years of alcohol abuse (been clean for about 8 years, though!). He had to have his spleen removed earlier this year, and he has several other health issues that I'm not particularly familiar with because I'm not a doctor and don't understand the terminology, most of which are related to his cancers. For the year+ since his first cancer diagnosis, he's been pretty elevated about the whole deal. He's made it very clear to my siblings, my stepmother, and I that he does \*not\* want a long, drawn-out old person death. He already has a DNR/DNI order on his chart, and has repeatedly said to all of us that he's happy with the way his life shook out and he's ready to leave the world. This was when he knew he was terminally ill, but was still relatively healthy and mobile. Well, last week he had a major health crisis. Because I'm not a doctor I don't really understand the details, but the MAST cells in his system caused an enormous anaphylactic reaction that caused his blood pressure to drop. He also had an infection in his lungs that needed to be treated with an aggressive course of antibiotics. Worst, though, was that something about this incident triggered four different strokes. Three were relatively minor, but the fourth was a medium-to-large-sized event. My sister, stepmother, and I have been taking shifts with him in the hospital since the event. He's having trouble finding words, but is still capable of expressing himself for the most part. Through all the physical therapy, medications, and hours of sitting in a hospital room, he has made it absolutely clear that the lifesaving interventions we put him through after the stroke were way too much and he would rather die than go through any of it again. He has begged us to change his physician's order for life saving treatment (POLST) form to specify that he should not receive treatment for similar events in the future. The thing that's driving me nuts about this situation is that our stepmother (who has durable power of attorney) is having a very easy time dismissing these statements as "oh he's just depressed" and has been dragging her feet on changing the POLST form and other preparations to fulfill his wish of getting the fuck out of the hospital, back to his retirement home, and getting a chance to say bye to his family and friends before going through the lengthy process of a physician assisted suicide. My sister (who's in medical school) believes that he won't get to the point of a PAS, and believes he'll go next time he has a similar event like the one he had. The big issue I'm concerned about is whether this event happens before the POLST form is changed. If that happens, and he's saved again to come back in an even more disabled state, my father is going to die hating us, and I can't live with that. Things REALLY came to a head yesterday at the hospital. I'd never seen my dad cry before in my life. I'd also never seen him get so angry. Before my stepmother got there, he begged me to bring him a gun so he has a way out in case things got even worse. Even with his speech impaired from the stroke, he told my stepmother and me in no uncertain terms that he hated us for being so selfish and cruel by keeping him around. I doubt my father would put a bullet in his head if he had a gun. I think he just wants one so he knows that if things get too unbearable, he knows he can end it all in a split second, rather than having to hold on and wait for another stroke, or heart attack, or infection to end everything, or waiting for the gears of the state to slowly turn to the point where he can have his PAS. But I believe that everyone on earth should have the agency to decide when, where, and how they die, and he is and clearly has been suffering horribly for the last week and a half. If I were to roll to the gun store and get him a firearm, and he shot himself with it, what would be the legal ramifications for me? I'm okay with my family hating me and even being vindictive. I'm a financially independent adult, so I'm not concerned about any sort of aid being cut off. But if there's a chance of me being prosecuted for this act, I won't do it. Thanks for reading.
e2itucx
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Washington has a death with dignity law, but the timeframe may be longer than your father wants.
Is he capable of writing down his wishes? Find the hospitals patient advocate and discuss this with them. If he is still found coherent, she can be overridden. Especially if her wishes are against not only his, but the rest of the family as well. Everyone, of every adult age, needs to have all of this sorted before hand. I had to deal with all of this with my husband at the age of 35. I knew what he wanted, but it was not written down, and it was hell on earth voicing those desires to the doctors when he could not. Even if you have told people what you want, have it written. Have the legal documents there, so your loved ones never have to do this. No one knows if they are capable of telling a doctor to let their loved one die until they are faced with that choice.
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I live in Washington State. Can I be prosecuted for gifting my terminally ill father a firearm? Throwaway for obvious reasons. My father is, and has been, very sick for about a year. He was diagnosed with two different forms of aggressive, untreatable lymphomas. He has nerve death in his feet from years of alcohol abuse (been clean for about 8 years, though!). He had to have his spleen removed earlier this year, and he has several other health issues that I'm not particularly familiar with because I'm not a doctor and don't understand the terminology, most of which are related to his cancers. For the year+ since his first cancer diagnosis, he's been pretty elevated about the whole deal. He's made it very clear to my siblings, my stepmother, and I that he does \*not\* want a long, drawn-out old person death. He already has a DNR/DNI order on his chart, and has repeatedly said to all of us that he's happy with the way his life shook out and he's ready to leave the world. This was when he knew he was terminally ill, but was still relatively healthy and mobile. Well, last week he had a major health crisis. Because I'm not a doctor I don't really understand the details, but the MAST cells in his system caused an enormous anaphylactic reaction that caused his blood pressure to drop. He also had an infection in his lungs that needed to be treated with an aggressive course of antibiotics. Worst, though, was that something about this incident triggered four different strokes. Three were relatively minor, but the fourth was a medium-to-large-sized event. My sister, stepmother, and I have been taking shifts with him in the hospital since the event. He's having trouble finding words, but is still capable of expressing himself for the most part. Through all the physical therapy, medications, and hours of sitting in a hospital room, he has made it absolutely clear that the lifesaving interventions we put him through after the stroke were way too much and he would rather die than go through any of it again. He has begged us to change his physician's order for life saving treatment (POLST) form to specify that he should not receive treatment for similar events in the future. The thing that's driving me nuts about this situation is that our stepmother (who has durable power of attorney) is having a very easy time dismissing these statements as "oh he's just depressed" and has been dragging her feet on changing the POLST form and other preparations to fulfill his wish of getting the fuck out of the hospital, back to his retirement home, and getting a chance to say bye to his family and friends before going through the lengthy process of a physician assisted suicide. My sister (who's in medical school) believes that he won't get to the point of a PAS, and believes he'll go next time he has a similar event like the one he had. The big issue I'm concerned about is whether this event happens before the POLST form is changed. If that happens, and he's saved again to come back in an even more disabled state, my father is going to die hating us, and I can't live with that. Things REALLY came to a head yesterday at the hospital. I'd never seen my dad cry before in my life. I'd also never seen him get so angry. Before my stepmother got there, he begged me to bring him a gun so he has a way out in case things got even worse. Even with his speech impaired from the stroke, he told my stepmother and me in no uncertain terms that he hated us for being so selfish and cruel by keeping him around. I doubt my father would put a bullet in his head if he had a gun. I think he just wants one so he knows that if things get too unbearable, he knows he can end it all in a split second, rather than having to hold on and wait for another stroke, or heart attack, or infection to end everything, or waiting for the gears of the state to slowly turn to the point where he can have his PAS. But I believe that everyone on earth should have the agency to decide when, where, and how they die, and he is and clearly has been suffering horribly for the last week and a half. If I were to roll to the gun store and get him a firearm, and he shot himself with it, what would be the legal ramifications for me? I'm okay with my family hating me and even being vindictive. I'm a financially independent adult, so I'm not concerned about any sort of aid being cut off. But if there's a chance of me being prosecuted for this act, I won't do it. Thanks for reading.
e2jzmjj
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If your father is alert and oriented and capable of making his own medical decisions, and your step mom is not his power of attorney or something, he can change his POLST without her knowledge, consent, or approval. It simply needs to be signed in the doctors presence (usually) and the md signs that he agrees these are the patients wishes. And the advice given above regarding hospice is good advice, I’d encourage him to look more closely at that.
Not legal advice, but practical - as an MD, CALL HOSPICE.
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I live in Washington State. Can I be prosecuted for gifting my terminally ill father a firearm? Throwaway for obvious reasons. My father is, and has been, very sick for about a year. He was diagnosed with two different forms of aggressive, untreatable lymphomas. He has nerve death in his feet from years of alcohol abuse (been clean for about 8 years, though!). He had to have his spleen removed earlier this year, and he has several other health issues that I'm not particularly familiar with because I'm not a doctor and don't understand the terminology, most of which are related to his cancers. For the year+ since his first cancer diagnosis, he's been pretty elevated about the whole deal. He's made it very clear to my siblings, my stepmother, and I that he does \*not\* want a long, drawn-out old person death. He already has a DNR/DNI order on his chart, and has repeatedly said to all of us that he's happy with the way his life shook out and he's ready to leave the world. This was when he knew he was terminally ill, but was still relatively healthy and mobile. Well, last week he had a major health crisis. Because I'm not a doctor I don't really understand the details, but the MAST cells in his system caused an enormous anaphylactic reaction that caused his blood pressure to drop. He also had an infection in his lungs that needed to be treated with an aggressive course of antibiotics. Worst, though, was that something about this incident triggered four different strokes. Three were relatively minor, but the fourth was a medium-to-large-sized event. My sister, stepmother, and I have been taking shifts with him in the hospital since the event. He's having trouble finding words, but is still capable of expressing himself for the most part. Through all the physical therapy, medications, and hours of sitting in a hospital room, he has made it absolutely clear that the lifesaving interventions we put him through after the stroke were way too much and he would rather die than go through any of it again. He has begged us to change his physician's order for life saving treatment (POLST) form to specify that he should not receive treatment for similar events in the future. The thing that's driving me nuts about this situation is that our stepmother (who has durable power of attorney) is having a very easy time dismissing these statements as "oh he's just depressed" and has been dragging her feet on changing the POLST form and other preparations to fulfill his wish of getting the fuck out of the hospital, back to his retirement home, and getting a chance to say bye to his family and friends before going through the lengthy process of a physician assisted suicide. My sister (who's in medical school) believes that he won't get to the point of a PAS, and believes he'll go next time he has a similar event like the one he had. The big issue I'm concerned about is whether this event happens before the POLST form is changed. If that happens, and he's saved again to come back in an even more disabled state, my father is going to die hating us, and I can't live with that. Things REALLY came to a head yesterday at the hospital. I'd never seen my dad cry before in my life. I'd also never seen him get so angry. Before my stepmother got there, he begged me to bring him a gun so he has a way out in case things got even worse. Even with his speech impaired from the stroke, he told my stepmother and me in no uncertain terms that he hated us for being so selfish and cruel by keeping him around. I doubt my father would put a bullet in his head if he had a gun. I think he just wants one so he knows that if things get too unbearable, he knows he can end it all in a split second, rather than having to hold on and wait for another stroke, or heart attack, or infection to end everything, or waiting for the gears of the state to slowly turn to the point where he can have his PAS. But I believe that everyone on earth should have the agency to decide when, where, and how they die, and he is and clearly has been suffering horribly for the last week and a half. If I were to roll to the gun store and get him a firearm, and he shot himself with it, what would be the legal ramifications for me? I'm okay with my family hating me and even being vindictive. I'm a financially independent adult, so I'm not concerned about any sort of aid being cut off. But if there's a chance of me being prosecuted for this act, I won't do it. Thanks for reading.
e2j5dx6
e2jzqe0
1,531,816,879
1,531,850,897
4
15
Doesn’t Washington have a Death with Dignity Act? I think it was one of the very first to have one. I don’t even pretend to know the rules of how those medications are prescribed and administered but if ever there was a time to research this OP it’s now. This is the very thing right to die laws are for. Your father should not have to chose between slow painful death or a bullet. Please speak with his doctors and advocates about his wishes and how you ensure they are met going forward. I’m terribly sorry.
Not legal advice, but practical - as an MD, CALL HOSPICE.
0
34,018
3.75
8zfcww
legaladvice_train
0.9
I live in Washington State. Can I be prosecuted for gifting my terminally ill father a firearm? Throwaway for obvious reasons. My father is, and has been, very sick for about a year. He was diagnosed with two different forms of aggressive, untreatable lymphomas. He has nerve death in his feet from years of alcohol abuse (been clean for about 8 years, though!). He had to have his spleen removed earlier this year, and he has several other health issues that I'm not particularly familiar with because I'm not a doctor and don't understand the terminology, most of which are related to his cancers. For the year+ since his first cancer diagnosis, he's been pretty elevated about the whole deal. He's made it very clear to my siblings, my stepmother, and I that he does \*not\* want a long, drawn-out old person death. He already has a DNR/DNI order on his chart, and has repeatedly said to all of us that he's happy with the way his life shook out and he's ready to leave the world. This was when he knew he was terminally ill, but was still relatively healthy and mobile. Well, last week he had a major health crisis. Because I'm not a doctor I don't really understand the details, but the MAST cells in his system caused an enormous anaphylactic reaction that caused his blood pressure to drop. He also had an infection in his lungs that needed to be treated with an aggressive course of antibiotics. Worst, though, was that something about this incident triggered four different strokes. Three were relatively minor, but the fourth was a medium-to-large-sized event. My sister, stepmother, and I have been taking shifts with him in the hospital since the event. He's having trouble finding words, but is still capable of expressing himself for the most part. Through all the physical therapy, medications, and hours of sitting in a hospital room, he has made it absolutely clear that the lifesaving interventions we put him through after the stroke were way too much and he would rather die than go through any of it again. He has begged us to change his physician's order for life saving treatment (POLST) form to specify that he should not receive treatment for similar events in the future. The thing that's driving me nuts about this situation is that our stepmother (who has durable power of attorney) is having a very easy time dismissing these statements as "oh he's just depressed" and has been dragging her feet on changing the POLST form and other preparations to fulfill his wish of getting the fuck out of the hospital, back to his retirement home, and getting a chance to say bye to his family and friends before going through the lengthy process of a physician assisted suicide. My sister (who's in medical school) believes that he won't get to the point of a PAS, and believes he'll go next time he has a similar event like the one he had. The big issue I'm concerned about is whether this event happens before the POLST form is changed. If that happens, and he's saved again to come back in an even more disabled state, my father is going to die hating us, and I can't live with that. Things REALLY came to a head yesterday at the hospital. I'd never seen my dad cry before in my life. I'd also never seen him get so angry. Before my stepmother got there, he begged me to bring him a gun so he has a way out in case things got even worse. Even with his speech impaired from the stroke, he told my stepmother and me in no uncertain terms that he hated us for being so selfish and cruel by keeping him around. I doubt my father would put a bullet in his head if he had a gun. I think he just wants one so he knows that if things get too unbearable, he knows he can end it all in a split second, rather than having to hold on and wait for another stroke, or heart attack, or infection to end everything, or waiting for the gears of the state to slowly turn to the point where he can have his PAS. But I believe that everyone on earth should have the agency to decide when, where, and how they die, and he is and clearly has been suffering horribly for the last week and a half. If I were to roll to the gun store and get him a firearm, and he shot himself with it, what would be the legal ramifications for me? I'm okay with my family hating me and even being vindictive. I'm a financially independent adult, so I'm not concerned about any sort of aid being cut off. But if there's a chance of me being prosecuted for this act, I won't do it. Thanks for reading.
e2jzqe0
e2jfit1
1,531,850,897
1,531,833,526
15
5
Not legal advice, but practical - as an MD, CALL HOSPICE.
You need to convince your Stepmom that pallative/hospice care is now the way to go. They dope him up on morphine and things to stop him from drowning in his own mucus and things from illness. But otherwise, there's no care involved.
1
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legaladvice_train
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I live in Washington State. Can I be prosecuted for gifting my terminally ill father a firearm? Throwaway for obvious reasons. My father is, and has been, very sick for about a year. He was diagnosed with two different forms of aggressive, untreatable lymphomas. He has nerve death in his feet from years of alcohol abuse (been clean for about 8 years, though!). He had to have his spleen removed earlier this year, and he has several other health issues that I'm not particularly familiar with because I'm not a doctor and don't understand the terminology, most of which are related to his cancers. For the year+ since his first cancer diagnosis, he's been pretty elevated about the whole deal. He's made it very clear to my siblings, my stepmother, and I that he does \*not\* want a long, drawn-out old person death. He already has a DNR/DNI order on his chart, and has repeatedly said to all of us that he's happy with the way his life shook out and he's ready to leave the world. This was when he knew he was terminally ill, but was still relatively healthy and mobile. Well, last week he had a major health crisis. Because I'm not a doctor I don't really understand the details, but the MAST cells in his system caused an enormous anaphylactic reaction that caused his blood pressure to drop. He also had an infection in his lungs that needed to be treated with an aggressive course of antibiotics. Worst, though, was that something about this incident triggered four different strokes. Three were relatively minor, but the fourth was a medium-to-large-sized event. My sister, stepmother, and I have been taking shifts with him in the hospital since the event. He's having trouble finding words, but is still capable of expressing himself for the most part. Through all the physical therapy, medications, and hours of sitting in a hospital room, he has made it absolutely clear that the lifesaving interventions we put him through after the stroke were way too much and he would rather die than go through any of it again. He has begged us to change his physician's order for life saving treatment (POLST) form to specify that he should not receive treatment for similar events in the future. The thing that's driving me nuts about this situation is that our stepmother (who has durable power of attorney) is having a very easy time dismissing these statements as "oh he's just depressed" and has been dragging her feet on changing the POLST form and other preparations to fulfill his wish of getting the fuck out of the hospital, back to his retirement home, and getting a chance to say bye to his family and friends before going through the lengthy process of a physician assisted suicide. My sister (who's in medical school) believes that he won't get to the point of a PAS, and believes he'll go next time he has a similar event like the one he had. The big issue I'm concerned about is whether this event happens before the POLST form is changed. If that happens, and he's saved again to come back in an even more disabled state, my father is going to die hating us, and I can't live with that. Things REALLY came to a head yesterday at the hospital. I'd never seen my dad cry before in my life. I'd also never seen him get so angry. Before my stepmother got there, he begged me to bring him a gun so he has a way out in case things got even worse. Even with his speech impaired from the stroke, he told my stepmother and me in no uncertain terms that he hated us for being so selfish and cruel by keeping him around. I doubt my father would put a bullet in his head if he had a gun. I think he just wants one so he knows that if things get too unbearable, he knows he can end it all in a split second, rather than having to hold on and wait for another stroke, or heart attack, or infection to end everything, or waiting for the gears of the state to slowly turn to the point where he can have his PAS. But I believe that everyone on earth should have the agency to decide when, where, and how they die, and he is and clearly has been suffering horribly for the last week and a half. If I were to roll to the gun store and get him a firearm, and he shot himself with it, what would be the legal ramifications for me? I'm okay with my family hating me and even being vindictive. I'm a financially independent adult, so I'm not concerned about any sort of aid being cut off. But if there's a chance of me being prosecuted for this act, I won't do it. Thanks for reading.
e2jzmjj
e2j5dx6
1,531,850,809
1,531,816,879
10
4
If your father is alert and oriented and capable of making his own medical decisions, and your step mom is not his power of attorney or something, he can change his POLST without her knowledge, consent, or approval. It simply needs to be signed in the doctors presence (usually) and the md signs that he agrees these are the patients wishes. And the advice given above regarding hospice is good advice, I’d encourage him to look more closely at that.
Doesn’t Washington have a Death with Dignity Act? I think it was one of the very first to have one. I don’t even pretend to know the rules of how those medications are prescribed and administered but if ever there was a time to research this OP it’s now. This is the very thing right to die laws are for. Your father should not have to chose between slow painful death or a bullet. Please speak with his doctors and advocates about his wishes and how you ensure they are met going forward. I’m terribly sorry.
1
33,930
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8zfcww
legaladvice_train
0.9
I live in Washington State. Can I be prosecuted for gifting my terminally ill father a firearm? Throwaway for obvious reasons. My father is, and has been, very sick for about a year. He was diagnosed with two different forms of aggressive, untreatable lymphomas. He has nerve death in his feet from years of alcohol abuse (been clean for about 8 years, though!). He had to have his spleen removed earlier this year, and he has several other health issues that I'm not particularly familiar with because I'm not a doctor and don't understand the terminology, most of which are related to his cancers. For the year+ since his first cancer diagnosis, he's been pretty elevated about the whole deal. He's made it very clear to my siblings, my stepmother, and I that he does \*not\* want a long, drawn-out old person death. He already has a DNR/DNI order on his chart, and has repeatedly said to all of us that he's happy with the way his life shook out and he's ready to leave the world. This was when he knew he was terminally ill, but was still relatively healthy and mobile. Well, last week he had a major health crisis. Because I'm not a doctor I don't really understand the details, but the MAST cells in his system caused an enormous anaphylactic reaction that caused his blood pressure to drop. He also had an infection in his lungs that needed to be treated with an aggressive course of antibiotics. Worst, though, was that something about this incident triggered four different strokes. Three were relatively minor, but the fourth was a medium-to-large-sized event. My sister, stepmother, and I have been taking shifts with him in the hospital since the event. He's having trouble finding words, but is still capable of expressing himself for the most part. Through all the physical therapy, medications, and hours of sitting in a hospital room, he has made it absolutely clear that the lifesaving interventions we put him through after the stroke were way too much and he would rather die than go through any of it again. He has begged us to change his physician's order for life saving treatment (POLST) form to specify that he should not receive treatment for similar events in the future. The thing that's driving me nuts about this situation is that our stepmother (who has durable power of attorney) is having a very easy time dismissing these statements as "oh he's just depressed" and has been dragging her feet on changing the POLST form and other preparations to fulfill his wish of getting the fuck out of the hospital, back to his retirement home, and getting a chance to say bye to his family and friends before going through the lengthy process of a physician assisted suicide. My sister (who's in medical school) believes that he won't get to the point of a PAS, and believes he'll go next time he has a similar event like the one he had. The big issue I'm concerned about is whether this event happens before the POLST form is changed. If that happens, and he's saved again to come back in an even more disabled state, my father is going to die hating us, and I can't live with that. Things REALLY came to a head yesterday at the hospital. I'd never seen my dad cry before in my life. I'd also never seen him get so angry. Before my stepmother got there, he begged me to bring him a gun so he has a way out in case things got even worse. Even with his speech impaired from the stroke, he told my stepmother and me in no uncertain terms that he hated us for being so selfish and cruel by keeping him around. I doubt my father would put a bullet in his head if he had a gun. I think he just wants one so he knows that if things get too unbearable, he knows he can end it all in a split second, rather than having to hold on and wait for another stroke, or heart attack, or infection to end everything, or waiting for the gears of the state to slowly turn to the point where he can have his PAS. But I believe that everyone on earth should have the agency to decide when, where, and how they die, and he is and clearly has been suffering horribly for the last week and a half. If I were to roll to the gun store and get him a firearm, and he shot himself with it, what would be the legal ramifications for me? I'm okay with my family hating me and even being vindictive. I'm a financially independent adult, so I'm not concerned about any sort of aid being cut off. But if there's a chance of me being prosecuted for this act, I won't do it. Thanks for reading.
e2jzmjj
e2jfit1
1,531,850,809
1,531,833,526
10
5
If your father is alert and oriented and capable of making his own medical decisions, and your step mom is not his power of attorney or something, he can change his POLST without her knowledge, consent, or approval. It simply needs to be signed in the doctors presence (usually) and the md signs that he agrees these are the patients wishes. And the advice given above regarding hospice is good advice, I’d encourage him to look more closely at that.
You need to convince your Stepmom that pallative/hospice care is now the way to go. They dope him up on morphine and things to stop him from drowning in his own mucus and things from illness. But otherwise, there's no care involved.
1
17,283
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8zfcww
legaladvice_train
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I live in Washington State. Can I be prosecuted for gifting my terminally ill father a firearm? Throwaway for obvious reasons. My father is, and has been, very sick for about a year. He was diagnosed with two different forms of aggressive, untreatable lymphomas. He has nerve death in his feet from years of alcohol abuse (been clean for about 8 years, though!). He had to have his spleen removed earlier this year, and he has several other health issues that I'm not particularly familiar with because I'm not a doctor and don't understand the terminology, most of which are related to his cancers. For the year+ since his first cancer diagnosis, he's been pretty elevated about the whole deal. He's made it very clear to my siblings, my stepmother, and I that he does \*not\* want a long, drawn-out old person death. He already has a DNR/DNI order on his chart, and has repeatedly said to all of us that he's happy with the way his life shook out and he's ready to leave the world. This was when he knew he was terminally ill, but was still relatively healthy and mobile. Well, last week he had a major health crisis. Because I'm not a doctor I don't really understand the details, but the MAST cells in his system caused an enormous anaphylactic reaction that caused his blood pressure to drop. He also had an infection in his lungs that needed to be treated with an aggressive course of antibiotics. Worst, though, was that something about this incident triggered four different strokes. Three were relatively minor, but the fourth was a medium-to-large-sized event. My sister, stepmother, and I have been taking shifts with him in the hospital since the event. He's having trouble finding words, but is still capable of expressing himself for the most part. Through all the physical therapy, medications, and hours of sitting in a hospital room, he has made it absolutely clear that the lifesaving interventions we put him through after the stroke were way too much and he would rather die than go through any of it again. He has begged us to change his physician's order for life saving treatment (POLST) form to specify that he should not receive treatment for similar events in the future. The thing that's driving me nuts about this situation is that our stepmother (who has durable power of attorney) is having a very easy time dismissing these statements as "oh he's just depressed" and has been dragging her feet on changing the POLST form and other preparations to fulfill his wish of getting the fuck out of the hospital, back to his retirement home, and getting a chance to say bye to his family and friends before going through the lengthy process of a physician assisted suicide. My sister (who's in medical school) believes that he won't get to the point of a PAS, and believes he'll go next time he has a similar event like the one he had. The big issue I'm concerned about is whether this event happens before the POLST form is changed. If that happens, and he's saved again to come back in an even more disabled state, my father is going to die hating us, and I can't live with that. Things REALLY came to a head yesterday at the hospital. I'd never seen my dad cry before in my life. I'd also never seen him get so angry. Before my stepmother got there, he begged me to bring him a gun so he has a way out in case things got even worse. Even with his speech impaired from the stroke, he told my stepmother and me in no uncertain terms that he hated us for being so selfish and cruel by keeping him around. I doubt my father would put a bullet in his head if he had a gun. I think he just wants one so he knows that if things get too unbearable, he knows he can end it all in a split second, rather than having to hold on and wait for another stroke, or heart attack, or infection to end everything, or waiting for the gears of the state to slowly turn to the point where he can have his PAS. But I believe that everyone on earth should have the agency to decide when, where, and how they die, and he is and clearly has been suffering horribly for the last week and a half. If I were to roll to the gun store and get him a firearm, and he shot himself with it, what would be the legal ramifications for me? I'm okay with my family hating me and even being vindictive. I'm a financially independent adult, so I'm not concerned about any sort of aid being cut off. But if there's a chance of me being prosecuted for this act, I won't do it. Thanks for reading.
e2jfit1
e2j5dx6
1,531,833,526
1,531,816,879
5
4
You need to convince your Stepmom that pallative/hospice care is now the way to go. They dope him up on morphine and things to stop him from drowning in his own mucus and things from illness. But otherwise, there's no care involved.
Doesn’t Washington have a Death with Dignity Act? I think it was one of the very first to have one. I don’t even pretend to know the rules of how those medications are prescribed and administered but if ever there was a time to research this OP it’s now. This is the very thing right to die laws are for. Your father should not have to chose between slow painful death or a bullet. Please speak with his doctors and advocates about his wishes and how you ensure they are met going forward. I’m terribly sorry.
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cy30v7
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[IN] My mother is in an abusive marriage and may be terminally ill. Her husband has filed a "Motion to Bifurcate Proceedings and Dissolve the Marriage". What is he trying to do? My mother has a treatable form of cancer, but her husband is a practitioner of "alternative medicine" and has limited her access to actual doctors. They have contemplated divorce and actually have a case pending, but they keep requesting and getting continuances. On the date of the final dissolution hearing, he filed a "Motion to Bifurcate Proceedings and Dissolve the Marriage". This seems bad. Can anyone tell why he may do this?
eypp2ng
eypouke
1,567,306,702
1,567,306,500
21
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If she has health insurance through his employment, that could be why.
He's trying to get the divorce as quickly as possible.
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[TN] Hospice and placing my terminally ill Father in-patient care, need advice/help. First of all I'm not 100% sure if this is something you guys can help me with, but no one else seems to have answers for me so I'm giving this a shot! I'm in Rutherford County, TN. My father came home from the hospital a month ago under Hospice care. I've been his 24/7 caretaker. And I'm now taking care of and taking over home schooling for my 17 year old brother who lives with my father. *extra info, probably not needed* My father has been emotionally abusive our entire lives, he's an alcoholic, and he's continued treating me and my brother like shit even though I'm taking care of him because he selfishly decided to go home to die instead of staying in the hospital. I'm not in a good place mentally to do this anymore, and I don't deserve to be treated like shit. I've lost my job, and I have my own life (husband, dog,my own home, etc) *end of extra info* He is on day 3 of his 5 day respite care through Hospice and I **refuse** to continue caring for him. They are not taking me seriously, and aren't helping me get him care. He's to be brought back to his home on Wednesday and they've offered me volunteers to care for him for a few hours a day. This is unacceptable, as I'm done caring for him. I am his POA, but I didn't sign anything stating I would be a slave to him. TL;DR: 24/7 caregiver DONE taking care of Father. No one will help, what can I do? Any advice or legal knowledge on this matter would be fantastic.
d9601wb
d95x2up
1,477,337,457
1,477,333,859
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10
Hire caregivers, if dad has the resources to afford it. If not, contact Medicaid ASAP and get him qualified for medicaid. You do not have to care for him just because you are his POA. You have to make sure he GETS care, not provide for it. Also, call the Ombudsman thru the local Area Agency on Aging. Tell them Hospice is discharging your dad to an unsafe situation. (You can't care for him, therefore it is unsafe.) The Ombudsman will get involved and potentially help you place him in skilled care that takes Medicaid. Call the local public fiduciary office as well and see if they can take over as his agent. You don't need to do this. Care for your brother and yourself.
you are the POA. you have to arrange for caretakers, or if you dont want to hire caretakers, you have to find placement where someone will take care of him (hospice may be able to find facilities with hospice waivers). call the hospice agency
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[TN] Hospice and placing my terminally ill Father in-patient care, need advice/help. First of all I'm not 100% sure if this is something you guys can help me with, but no one else seems to have answers for me so I'm giving this a shot! I'm in Rutherford County, TN. My father came home from the hospital a month ago under Hospice care. I've been his 24/7 caretaker. And I'm now taking care of and taking over home schooling for my 17 year old brother who lives with my father. *extra info, probably not needed* My father has been emotionally abusive our entire lives, he's an alcoholic, and he's continued treating me and my brother like shit even though I'm taking care of him because he selfishly decided to go home to die instead of staying in the hospital. I'm not in a good place mentally to do this anymore, and I don't deserve to be treated like shit. I've lost my job, and I have my own life (husband, dog,my own home, etc) *end of extra info* He is on day 3 of his 5 day respite care through Hospice and I **refuse** to continue caring for him. They are not taking me seriously, and aren't helping me get him care. He's to be brought back to his home on Wednesday and they've offered me volunteers to care for him for a few hours a day. This is unacceptable, as I'm done caring for him. I am his POA, but I didn't sign anything stating I would be a slave to him. TL;DR: 24/7 caregiver DONE taking care of Father. No one will help, what can I do? Any advice or legal knowledge on this matter would be fantastic.
d96fbsk
d96qj9o
1,477,357,767
1,477,377,916
2
3
Call his insurance company and let them know the situation. They will then be responsible for finding him care if he is unable to care for himself.
Hospice nurse here, doesn't make sense that you're caring for him while he is on respite as that's when they place them in a nursing facility for up to 5 days to give caregivers a break. Hospice and the federal government do not and will not provide paid hospice sitters. If he was imminent or had a crisis requiring hourly intervention such as intractable pain requiring morphine every hour then they could do what's called continuous care. CC is where a nurse is with him 24/7 and handles all care. If you want a sitter you can call and see how much a paid sitter goes for in your area. I live close to DFW and they go for about $20 an hour. Sorry, government isn't gonna provide you any sort of paid sitter at all. I hope it all works out for you, I've been on both sides of the hospice coin, as family, then nurse.
0
20,149
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595x8j
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[TN] Hospice and placing my terminally ill Father in-patient care, need advice/help. First of all I'm not 100% sure if this is something you guys can help me with, but no one else seems to have answers for me so I'm giving this a shot! I'm in Rutherford County, TN. My father came home from the hospital a month ago under Hospice care. I've been his 24/7 caretaker. And I'm now taking care of and taking over home schooling for my 17 year old brother who lives with my father. *extra info, probably not needed* My father has been emotionally abusive our entire lives, he's an alcoholic, and he's continued treating me and my brother like shit even though I'm taking care of him because he selfishly decided to go home to die instead of staying in the hospital. I'm not in a good place mentally to do this anymore, and I don't deserve to be treated like shit. I've lost my job, and I have my own life (husband, dog,my own home, etc) *end of extra info* He is on day 3 of his 5 day respite care through Hospice and I **refuse** to continue caring for him. They are not taking me seriously, and aren't helping me get him care. He's to be brought back to his home on Wednesday and they've offered me volunteers to care for him for a few hours a day. This is unacceptable, as I'm done caring for him. I am his POA, but I didn't sign anything stating I would be a slave to him. TL;DR: 24/7 caregiver DONE taking care of Father. No one will help, what can I do? Any advice or legal knowledge on this matter would be fantastic.
d96qj9o
d96nr6c
1,477,377,916
1,477,370,989
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Hospice nurse here, doesn't make sense that you're caring for him while he is on respite as that's when they place them in a nursing facility for up to 5 days to give caregivers a break. Hospice and the federal government do not and will not provide paid hospice sitters. If he was imminent or had a crisis requiring hourly intervention such as intractable pain requiring morphine every hour then they could do what's called continuous care. CC is where a nurse is with him 24/7 and handles all care. If you want a sitter you can call and see how much a paid sitter goes for in your area. I live close to DFW and they go for about $20 an hour. Sorry, government isn't gonna provide you any sort of paid sitter at all. I hope it all works out for you, I've been on both sides of the hospice coin, as family, then nurse.
I would tell them point blank that he isn't coming back to your home. That he is abusive to both you and your brother who is also a minor. Maybe call CPS because of your brother being a minor and maybe after talking to him an you regarding the abuse they will state the father isn't allowed to reside with the son. Your brother had a breakdown over this and your father may not be up to physical abuse but mental abuse is far worse. If they try to bring your dad back, refuse entry. Not sure there is much they can do if you refuse to let him in.
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Just found out both my children now, 26(F) & 24 (M) were sexually abused by dad's ex- girlfriend's son (27) for 2.5 years 13 years ago. All were minors. Is there any way to hold them legally responsible now? What can I do? It came up when my son said he was going to confront his molester and tell him he forgives him and ask him why he did it. Needless to say, I was ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATED. The very worst part of all of this is my son thought I KNEW! He thought their dad or his sister had told me years ago. Another huge problem I have is that my ex did NOTHING and let the girlfriend and molester stay for another year or two. The kid went after my daughter even after he was caught! I don't know where to start, what to say, who to contact. I'm pissed off at all of them, even my kids, for keeping this from me. I want satisfaction. You guys can't begin to imagine the bullshit my ex put me through when I came to my kids. Finding all this out now sends me to dark places. The events took place in Delaware from 2004-2007
fquiwpm
fquhgwd
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>Is there any way to hold them legally responsible now? Possibly, but not likely. Delaware has statutes of limitations for certain sex crimes but not for others, so it really depends on the type of criminal conduct that happened. If it falls under one of the types that has a statute of limitations, 13 years is far past that date. However this is all complicated by the fact that the party committing the criminal conduct was also a minor at the time it occurred, and would have an effect on what type of crime actually occurred. There might be a civil case that could be brought, but again, probably outside the statute of limitations. If you want a more concrete answer you should consult with a Delaware lawyer. All this being said, your children are adults now, and this decision should really be up to them. They may rather just let things be than have to re live them in open court.
You are not alone. Neither are your kids. There are actions you can take. Many police departments now have a civilian employee called a victim advocate. Many domestic violence and rape crisis centers have them too. The services of a VA are free. Start there.
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New neighbors moved into Habitat for Humanity house next door yesterday; today they came over to request our permission to start building a fence - TODAY. (IN) Family literally just signed papers for the house yesterday, and they came over just a few minutes ago to ask if it's okay for them to put up a fence between our houses, starting TODAY. We said we don't know where exactly the property line is, but we've been planning to get estimates for a fence soon ourselves. The woman said it's her father who wants to start it right now and suggested that they just build exactly between our houses. We're in an urban area with narrow lots, so there's not a lot of room to spare. Another wrinkle is that they seem to have immigrated from another country and English is not their first language, and maybe there are some cultural differences re: personal property. We want to be on good terms and welcoming toward our new neighbors, but we're at a loss for how to respond to this sudden, kinda-huge request.
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Actually in these situations, the most cordial thing since the survey is mutually beneficial, if they can wait, offer to split the cost of the survey with them and get two copies.
You say no, offer to split the cost of surveyor and the fence. It's not up to her father to decide when fences get put up that might affect your property rights
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New neighbors moved into Habitat for Humanity house next door yesterday; today they came over to request our permission to start building a fence - TODAY. (IN) Family literally just signed papers for the house yesterday, and they came over just a few minutes ago to ask if it's okay for them to put up a fence between our houses, starting TODAY. We said we don't know where exactly the property line is, but we've been planning to get estimates for a fence soon ourselves. The woman said it's her father who wants to start it right now and suggested that they just build exactly between our houses. We're in an urban area with narrow lots, so there's not a lot of room to spare. Another wrinkle is that they seem to have immigrated from another country and English is not their first language, and maybe there are some cultural differences re: personal property. We want to be on good terms and welcoming toward our new neighbors, but we're at a loss for how to respond to this sudden, kinda-huge request.
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Actually in these situations, the most cordial thing since the survey is mutually beneficial, if they can wait, offer to split the cost of the survey with them and get two copies.
So I’m a real estate attorney (but not your attorney). I’m these type of situations I advise people to check public survey records for general lot line locations and corner markers. This should give you a rough idea about boundaries. Then you check your local building and zoning code for fence permit process and regulations. You’re absolutely right the fence could be forcibly removed although hopefully the city would just let it be fixed if non-permitted but up to code. I would definitely relay this to your neighbor, at least verbally but also possibly in writing. I also happen to be part of the leadership of a Habitat for Humanity affiliate. Habitat typically deeds the property to the owners but holds a first and second mortgage (first mortgage gets paid by homeowner -yes they actually pay- and second is forgiven over time). I know most people would assume a mortgage holder wouldn’t want to get involved, but a lot of Habitat affiliates are self-conscious about their builds. They want their houses and the partner families to get along with the neighborhood. If there is a language barrier issue after you’ve explained your concern, then maybe someone at Habitat could be a bridge. There should be someone at the local affiliate who works with the partner families who I’m positive knows your neighbors very well.
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New neighbors moved into Habitat for Humanity house next door yesterday; today they came over to request our permission to start building a fence - TODAY. (IN) Family literally just signed papers for the house yesterday, and they came over just a few minutes ago to ask if it's okay for them to put up a fence between our houses, starting TODAY. We said we don't know where exactly the property line is, but we've been planning to get estimates for a fence soon ourselves. The woman said it's her father who wants to start it right now and suggested that they just build exactly between our houses. We're in an urban area with narrow lots, so there's not a lot of room to spare. Another wrinkle is that they seem to have immigrated from another country and English is not their first language, and maybe there are some cultural differences re: personal property. We want to be on good terms and welcoming toward our new neighbors, but we're at a loss for how to respond to this sudden, kinda-huge request.
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So I’m a real estate attorney (but not your attorney). I’m these type of situations I advise people to check public survey records for general lot line locations and corner markers. This should give you a rough idea about boundaries. Then you check your local building and zoning code for fence permit process and regulations. You’re absolutely right the fence could be forcibly removed although hopefully the city would just let it be fixed if non-permitted but up to code. I would definitely relay this to your neighbor, at least verbally but also possibly in writing. I also happen to be part of the leadership of a Habitat for Humanity affiliate. Habitat typically deeds the property to the owners but holds a first and second mortgage (first mortgage gets paid by homeowner -yes they actually pay- and second is forgiven over time). I know most people would assume a mortgage holder wouldn’t want to get involved, but a lot of Habitat affiliates are self-conscious about their builds. They want their houses and the partner families to get along with the neighborhood. If there is a language barrier issue after you’ve explained your concern, then maybe someone at Habitat could be a bridge. There should be someone at the local affiliate who works with the partner families who I’m positive knows your neighbors very well.
You should check if your town requires a permit to build a fence. If they do, your neighbors will need to pay for a survey and get permission from the town before building the fence.
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New neighbors moved into Habitat for Humanity house next door yesterday; today they came over to request our permission to start building a fence - TODAY. (IN) Family literally just signed papers for the house yesterday, and they came over just a few minutes ago to ask if it's okay for them to put up a fence between our houses, starting TODAY. We said we don't know where exactly the property line is, but we've been planning to get estimates for a fence soon ourselves. The woman said it's her father who wants to start it right now and suggested that they just build exactly between our houses. We're in an urban area with narrow lots, so there's not a lot of room to spare. Another wrinkle is that they seem to have immigrated from another country and English is not their first language, and maybe there are some cultural differences re: personal property. We want to be on good terms and welcoming toward our new neighbors, but we're at a loss for how to respond to this sudden, kinda-huge request.
fkiqf0n
fpmuxfe
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Actually in these situations, the most cordial thing since the survey is mutually beneficial, if they can wait, offer to split the cost of the survey with them and get two copies.
Ok, read the update and can’t reply there because it’s not asking a new question. There’s another couple ways to initiate an exchange on that 10’ strip of land. You can ask them to sell. Maybe make a double what they paid offer. You can file a “quit claim” with the local office. Essentially this is just a formal way of saying, ‘I want your land that you don’t use or care for, give it to me’. They have a set time to respond and if they don’t, it’s yours! A good real estate agent will know how to do this. Stop mowing! I assume that this area has been mowed by you or the neighbors, and you both should stop. This will probably generate a code violation (eventually, depending on your local government) this will further the case that the property is in disuse, and if the code enforcement comes at you or the neighbors erroneously that can also help your case that the property should belong to you (or them, or both).
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New neighbors moved into Habitat for Humanity house next door yesterday; today they came over to request our permission to start building a fence - TODAY. (IN) Family literally just signed papers for the house yesterday, and they came over just a few minutes ago to ask if it's okay for them to put up a fence between our houses, starting TODAY. We said we don't know where exactly the property line is, but we've been planning to get estimates for a fence soon ourselves. The woman said it's her father who wants to start it right now and suggested that they just build exactly between our houses. We're in an urban area with narrow lots, so there's not a lot of room to spare. Another wrinkle is that they seem to have immigrated from another country and English is not their first language, and maybe there are some cultural differences re: personal property. We want to be on good terms and welcoming toward our new neighbors, but we're at a loss for how to respond to this sudden, kinda-huge request.
fpmuxfe
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Ok, read the update and can’t reply there because it’s not asking a new question. There’s another couple ways to initiate an exchange on that 10’ strip of land. You can ask them to sell. Maybe make a double what they paid offer. You can file a “quit claim” with the local office. Essentially this is just a formal way of saying, ‘I want your land that you don’t use or care for, give it to me’. They have a set time to respond and if they don’t, it’s yours! A good real estate agent will know how to do this. Stop mowing! I assume that this area has been mowed by you or the neighbors, and you both should stop. This will probably generate a code violation (eventually, depending on your local government) this will further the case that the property is in disuse, and if the code enforcement comes at you or the neighbors erroneously that can also help your case that the property should belong to you (or them, or both).
You should check if your town requires a permit to build a fence. If they do, your neighbors will need to pay for a survey and get permission from the town before building the fence.
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fin61h
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New neighbors moved into Habitat for Humanity house next door yesterday; today they came over to request our permission to start building a fence - TODAY. (IN) Family literally just signed papers for the house yesterday, and they came over just a few minutes ago to ask if it's okay for them to put up a fence between our houses, starting TODAY. We said we don't know where exactly the property line is, but we've been planning to get estimates for a fence soon ourselves. The woman said it's her father who wants to start it right now and suggested that they just build exactly between our houses. We're in an urban area with narrow lots, so there's not a lot of room to spare. Another wrinkle is that they seem to have immigrated from another country and English is not their first language, and maybe there are some cultural differences re: personal property. We want to be on good terms and welcoming toward our new neighbors, but we're at a loss for how to respond to this sudden, kinda-huge request.
fkjzr57
fpmuxfe
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Feel free to agree to a fence. Do NOT let them rush it. Something like this needs to be done right or it will cause all sorts of problems, not to mention friction with your neighbor, down the road.
Ok, read the update and can’t reply there because it’s not asking a new question. There’s another couple ways to initiate an exchange on that 10’ strip of land. You can ask them to sell. Maybe make a double what they paid offer. You can file a “quit claim” with the local office. Essentially this is just a formal way of saying, ‘I want your land that you don’t use or care for, give it to me’. They have a set time to respond and if they don’t, it’s yours! A good real estate agent will know how to do this. Stop mowing! I assume that this area has been mowed by you or the neighbors, and you both should stop. This will probably generate a code violation (eventually, depending on your local government) this will further the case that the property is in disuse, and if the code enforcement comes at you or the neighbors erroneously that can also help your case that the property should belong to you (or them, or both).
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My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit? This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. My question is if this is legitimate? Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? Any advice would be appreciated. Edit: We live in California.
ehobtso
ehobptg
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I suggest hiring a lawyer to look into it for you.
--- > http://imgur.com/a/myIAb --- *I am a bot whose sole purpose is to improve the timeliness and accuracy of responses in this subreddit.* --- **It appears you forgot to include your location in the title or body of your post. Please update the body of your original post to include this information.** --- ***Do NOT delete this post - Instead, simply edit the post with the requested information.*** --- Author: /u/MikeyNukesm Title: **My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit?** Original Post: > This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. > > The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. > > My question is if this is legitimate? > > Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? > > Any advice would be appreciated. --- LocationBot 4.31977192 | Report Issues
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My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit? This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. My question is if this is legitimate? Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? Any advice would be appreciated. Edit: We live in California.
ehoen6y
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Definitely get a lawyer. The fact they didn't disclose the issues to you when your bought is a big no-no. If a lawyer randomly shows up to your door trying to hand you money, there's something wrong.
--- > http://imgur.com/a/myIAb --- *I am a bot whose sole purpose is to improve the timeliness and accuracy of responses in this subreddit.* --- **It appears you forgot to include your location in the title or body of your post. Please update the body of your original post to include this information.** --- ***Do NOT delete this post - Instead, simply edit the post with the requested information.*** --- Author: /u/MikeyNukesm Title: **My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit?** Original Post: > This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. > > The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. > > My question is if this is legitimate? > > Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? > > Any advice would be appreciated. --- LocationBot 4.31977192 | Report Issues
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My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit? This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. My question is if this is legitimate? Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? Any advice would be appreciated. Edit: We live in California.
ehobptg
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--- > http://imgur.com/a/myIAb --- *I am a bot whose sole purpose is to improve the timeliness and accuracy of responses in this subreddit.* --- **It appears you forgot to include your location in the title or body of your post. Please update the body of your original post to include this information.** --- ***Do NOT delete this post - Instead, simply edit the post with the requested information.*** --- Author: /u/MikeyNukesm Title: **My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit?** Original Post: > This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. > > The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. > > My question is if this is legitimate? > > Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? > > Any advice would be appreciated. --- LocationBot 4.31977192 | Report Issues
I'm not a lawyer, but this very much seems like something the sellers were legally obligated to disclose (except perhaps if they'd fully remedied the situation with repairs prior to sale?) It also sounds like you have no idea what mistakes the builder made. It's probably worth having a conversation with an attorney.
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My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit? This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. My question is if this is legitimate? Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? Any advice would be appreciated. Edit: We live in California.
ehobptg
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--- > http://imgur.com/a/myIAb --- *I am a bot whose sole purpose is to improve the timeliness and accuracy of responses in this subreddit.* --- **It appears you forgot to include your location in the title or body of your post. Please update the body of your original post to include this information.** --- ***Do NOT delete this post - Instead, simply edit the post with the requested information.*** --- Author: /u/MikeyNukesm Title: **My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit?** Original Post: > This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. > > The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. > > My question is if this is legitimate? > > Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? > > Any advice would be appreciated. --- LocationBot 4.31977192 | Report Issues
Check your disclosures!!! If they filed then they knew of the issues. If they did not disclose you should get 100% of the $s plus any more to make up for the fraud - selling a house with known defects. Remember it impacts your home value as you and neighbors have to disclose it. Plus probably need repairs. Get a Real Estate attorney. Probably can go after the previous owners and their agent. Maybe even yours if this was a known class action.
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My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit? This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. My question is if this is legitimate? Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? Any advice would be appreciated. Edit: We live in California.
ehp5ae6
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This was a pre-sale disclosure items. Something is fishy. You need a lawyer to review. ​ Possible scenarios. 1. They paid to fix it and you are owed nothing if so why the offer to split? 2. The problem still exists and you'll have to fix it and it'll be more than the full settlement anyway 3. The 'problem' is down the road and you'll be eating a moldy drywall repair in a few years out of pocket one way or an other. Regardless there is a house defect which needed to be disclosed and wasn't. You can sue the sellers. They want you to agree to this now so they can't be sued and keep some cash. ​ ​
Nobody gives away money for free. That money has strings attached. The two that come to mind are a waiver of the right to sue the previous owners for failing to disclose the lawsuit or the defects that led to the lawsuit, with the second being the right to sue the builder yourself over the same issue.
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My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit? This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. My question is if this is legitimate? Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? Any advice would be appreciated. Edit: We live in California.
ehp4m3d
ehp5ae6
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I'm surprised this hasn't been mentioned, because it's weird as shit for lawyers to knock on doors and offer money. Anything about a legal settlement of any kind is put in writing, and lawyers don't usually hand-deliver offers out of the blue unless details have already been worked out (also in writing). Source: am lawyer, uses certified mail liberally.
This was a pre-sale disclosure items. Something is fishy. You need a lawyer to review. ​ Possible scenarios. 1. They paid to fix it and you are owed nothing if so why the offer to split? 2. The problem still exists and you'll have to fix it and it'll be more than the full settlement anyway 3. The 'problem' is down the road and you'll be eating a moldy drywall repair in a few years out of pocket one way or an other. Regardless there is a house defect which needed to be disclosed and wasn't. You can sue the sellers. They want you to agree to this now so they can't be sued and keep some cash. ​ ​
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My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit? This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. My question is if this is legitimate? Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? Any advice would be appreciated. Edit: We live in California.
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You need a professional review of your options. The weird thing for me is that a lawyer is going door to door instead of sending you mail. Since it was a class action, the sellers may not have known about it. Also, it's not clear that the defects are outstanding or reimbursement for repairs previously made. In that case, there wouldn't be anything to disclose and the sellers should get the lion's share. If it's an existing defeCt that you will have to repair, you should get the lion's share.
This was a pre-sale disclosure items. Something is fishy. You need a lawyer to review. ​ Possible scenarios. 1. They paid to fix it and you are owed nothing if so why the offer to split? 2. The problem still exists and you'll have to fix it and it'll be more than the full settlement anyway 3. The 'problem' is down the road and you'll be eating a moldy drywall repair in a few years out of pocket one way or an other. Regardless there is a house defect which needed to be disclosed and wasn't. You can sue the sellers. They want you to agree to this now so they can't be sued and keep some cash. ​ ​
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My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit? This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. My question is if this is legitimate? Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? Any advice would be appreciated. Edit: We live in California.
ehp5ae6
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This was a pre-sale disclosure items. Something is fishy. You need a lawyer to review. ​ Possible scenarios. 1. They paid to fix it and you are owed nothing if so why the offer to split? 2. The problem still exists and you'll have to fix it and it'll be more than the full settlement anyway 3. The 'problem' is down the road and you'll be eating a moldy drywall repair in a few years out of pocket one way or an other. Regardless there is a house defect which needed to be disclosed and wasn't. You can sue the sellers. They want you to agree to this now so they can't be sued and keep some cash. ​ ​
Did you buy title insurance? Call them up and let them deal with the title issues.
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My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit? This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. My question is if this is legitimate? Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? Any advice would be appreciated. Edit: We live in California.
ehp5ae6
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This was a pre-sale disclosure items. Something is fishy. You need a lawyer to review. ​ Possible scenarios. 1. They paid to fix it and you are owed nothing if so why the offer to split? 2. The problem still exists and you'll have to fix it and it'll be more than the full settlement anyway 3. The 'problem' is down the road and you'll be eating a moldy drywall repair in a few years out of pocket one way or an other. Regardless there is a house defect which needed to be disclosed and wasn't. You can sue the sellers. They want you to agree to this now so they can't be sued and keep some cash. ​ ​
Google to see if the builder of your home is actually in a lawsuit first to help determine if its legit. Call your real estate agent you used to buy the house and look back through your closing paperwork, if the previous owner knew about this stuff and didn't include it on the property disclosure form at the time of the sale, your lawyer will want to know that. Good luck!
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My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit? This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. My question is if this is legitimate? Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? Any advice would be appreciated. Edit: We live in California.
ehobptg
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--- > http://imgur.com/a/myIAb --- *I am a bot whose sole purpose is to improve the timeliness and accuracy of responses in this subreddit.* --- **It appears you forgot to include your location in the title or body of your post. Please update the body of your original post to include this information.** --- ***Do NOT delete this post - Instead, simply edit the post with the requested information.*** --- Author: /u/MikeyNukesm Title: **My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit?** Original Post: > This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. > > The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. > > My question is if this is legitimate? > > Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? > > Any advice would be appreciated. --- LocationBot 4.31977192 | Report Issues
This was a pre-sale disclosure items. Something is fishy. You need a lawyer to review. ​ Possible scenarios. 1. They paid to fix it and you are owed nothing if so why the offer to split? 2. The problem still exists and you'll have to fix it and it'll be more than the full settlement anyway 3. The 'problem' is down the road and you'll be eating a moldy drywall repair in a few years out of pocket one way or an other. Regardless there is a house defect which needed to be disclosed and wasn't. You can sue the sellers. They want you to agree to this now so they can't be sued and keep some cash. ​ ​
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My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit? This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. My question is if this is legitimate? Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? Any advice would be appreciated. Edit: We live in California.
ehp38jp
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You need a professional review of your options. The weird thing for me is that a lawyer is going door to door instead of sending you mail. Since it was a class action, the sellers may not have known about it. Also, it's not clear that the defects are outstanding or reimbursement for repairs previously made. In that case, there wouldn't be anything to disclose and the sellers should get the lion's share. If it's an existing defeCt that you will have to repair, you should get the lion's share.
Nobody gives away money for free. That money has strings attached. The two that come to mind are a waiver of the right to sue the previous owners for failing to disclose the lawsuit or the defects that led to the lawsuit, with the second being the right to sue the builder yourself over the same issue.
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My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit? This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. My question is if this is legitimate? Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? Any advice would be appreciated. Edit: We live in California.
ehp3zfc
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Nobody gives away money for free. That money has strings attached. The two that come to mind are a waiver of the right to sue the previous owners for failing to disclose the lawsuit or the defects that led to the lawsuit, with the second being the right to sue the builder yourself over the same issue.
Did you buy title insurance? Call them up and let them deal with the title issues.
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My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit? This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. My question is if this is legitimate? Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? Any advice would be appreciated. Edit: We live in California.
ehobptg
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--- > http://imgur.com/a/myIAb --- *I am a bot whose sole purpose is to improve the timeliness and accuracy of responses in this subreddit.* --- **It appears you forgot to include your location in the title or body of your post. Please update the body of your original post to include this information.** --- ***Do NOT delete this post - Instead, simply edit the post with the requested information.*** --- Author: /u/MikeyNukesm Title: **My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit?** Original Post: > This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. > > The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. > > My question is if this is legitimate? > > Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? > > Any advice would be appreciated. --- LocationBot 4.31977192 | Report Issues
Nobody gives away money for free. That money has strings attached. The two that come to mind are a waiver of the right to sue the previous owners for failing to disclose the lawsuit or the defects that led to the lawsuit, with the second being the right to sue the builder yourself over the same issue.
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My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit? This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. My question is if this is legitimate? Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? Any advice would be appreciated. Edit: We live in California.
ehp4m3d
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I'm surprised this hasn't been mentioned, because it's weird as shit for lawyers to knock on doors and offer money. Anything about a legal settlement of any kind is put in writing, and lawyers don't usually hand-deliver offers out of the blue unless details have already been worked out (also in writing). Source: am lawyer, uses certified mail liberally.
You need a professional review of your options. The weird thing for me is that a lawyer is going door to door instead of sending you mail. Since it was a class action, the sellers may not have known about it. Also, it's not clear that the defects are outstanding or reimbursement for repairs previously made. In that case, there wouldn't be anything to disclose and the sellers should get the lion's share. If it's an existing defeCt that you will have to repair, you should get the lion's share.
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My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit? This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. My question is if this is legitimate? Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? Any advice would be appreciated. Edit: We live in California.
ehp4m3d
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I'm surprised this hasn't been mentioned, because it's weird as shit for lawyers to knock on doors and offer money. Anything about a legal settlement of any kind is put in writing, and lawyers don't usually hand-deliver offers out of the blue unless details have already been worked out (also in writing). Source: am lawyer, uses certified mail liberally.
Did you buy title insurance? Call them up and let them deal with the title issues.
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My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit? This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. My question is if this is legitimate? Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? Any advice would be appreciated. Edit: We live in California.
ehobptg
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--- > http://imgur.com/a/myIAb --- *I am a bot whose sole purpose is to improve the timeliness and accuracy of responses in this subreddit.* --- **It appears you forgot to include your location in the title or body of your post. Please update the body of your original post to include this information.** --- ***Do NOT delete this post - Instead, simply edit the post with the requested information.*** --- Author: /u/MikeyNukesm Title: **My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit?** Original Post: > This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. > > The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. > > My question is if this is legitimate? > > Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? > > Any advice would be appreciated. --- LocationBot 4.31977192 | Report Issues
I'm surprised this hasn't been mentioned, because it's weird as shit for lawyers to knock on doors and offer money. Anything about a legal settlement of any kind is put in writing, and lawyers don't usually hand-deliver offers out of the blue unless details have already been worked out (also in writing). Source: am lawyer, uses certified mail liberally.
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My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit? This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. My question is if this is legitimate? Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? Any advice would be appreciated. Edit: We live in California.
ehp38jp
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You need a professional review of your options. The weird thing for me is that a lawyer is going door to door instead of sending you mail. Since it was a class action, the sellers may not have known about it. Also, it's not clear that the defects are outstanding or reimbursement for repairs previously made. In that case, there wouldn't be anything to disclose and the sellers should get the lion's share. If it's an existing defeCt that you will have to repair, you should get the lion's share.
Did you buy title insurance? Call them up and let them deal with the title issues.
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My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit? This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. My question is if this is legitimate? Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? Any advice would be appreciated. Edit: We live in California.
ehp38jp
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You need a professional review of your options. The weird thing for me is that a lawyer is going door to door instead of sending you mail. Since it was a class action, the sellers may not have known about it. Also, it's not clear that the defects are outstanding or reimbursement for repairs previously made. In that case, there wouldn't be anything to disclose and the sellers should get the lion's share. If it's an existing defeCt that you will have to repair, you should get the lion's share.
--- > http://imgur.com/a/myIAb --- *I am a bot whose sole purpose is to improve the timeliness and accuracy of responses in this subreddit.* --- **It appears you forgot to include your location in the title or body of your post. Please update the body of your original post to include this information.** --- ***Do NOT delete this post - Instead, simply edit the post with the requested information.*** --- Author: /u/MikeyNukesm Title: **My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit?** Original Post: > This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. > > The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. > > My question is if this is legitimate? > > Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? > > Any advice would be appreciated. --- LocationBot 4.31977192 | Report Issues
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My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit? This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. My question is if this is legitimate? Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? Any advice would be appreciated. Edit: We live in California.
ehp2xxs
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Did you buy title insurance? Call them up and let them deal with the title issues.
--- > http://imgur.com/a/myIAb --- *I am a bot whose sole purpose is to improve the timeliness and accuracy of responses in this subreddit.* --- **It appears you forgot to include your location in the title or body of your post. Please update the body of your original post to include this information.** --- ***Do NOT delete this post - Instead, simply edit the post with the requested information.*** --- Author: /u/MikeyNukesm Title: **My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit?** Original Post: > This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. > > The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. > > My question is if this is legitimate? > > Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? > > Any advice would be appreciated. --- LocationBot 4.31977192 | Report Issues
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My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit? This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. My question is if this is legitimate? Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? Any advice would be appreciated. Edit: We live in California.
ehobptg
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--- > http://imgur.com/a/myIAb --- *I am a bot whose sole purpose is to improve the timeliness and accuracy of responses in this subreddit.* --- **It appears you forgot to include your location in the title or body of your post. Please update the body of your original post to include this information.** --- ***Do NOT delete this post - Instead, simply edit the post with the requested information.*** --- Author: /u/MikeyNukesm Title: **My wife and I bought our home a little over a year ago. Today a lawyer came to our door and told us that the previous owners were in a lawsuit with the construction company that built the home. They settled and would like to split the settlement with us 50/50. Does this sound legit?** Original Post: > This is a surprise and my wife and I aren’t sure how to approach this. We are upset that we weren’t made aware of this when buying the house. The settlement money is for construction defects of the house and we feel that since we bought the house from the previous owner, we should receive more of the monetary amount to go towards repairs. > > The lawyer indicated to us that if we wish to receive more than 50% of the settlement, he would reimburse us from his firm . This is a class action lawsuit that includes 40 some other homes. He needs everyone’s signature to receive the settlement from the construction company. > > My question is if this is legitimate? > > Is there a breach of contract somewhere with the previous owners or the real estate company since we weren’t made aware of a pending lawsuit that would make clear construction defects of the home? > > Any advice would be appreciated. --- LocationBot 4.31977192 | Report Issues
Google to see if the builder of your home is actually in a lawsuit first to help determine if its legit. Call your real estate agent you used to buy the house and look back through your closing paperwork, if the previous owner knew about this stuff and didn't include it on the property disclosure form at the time of the sale, your lawyer will want to know that. Good luck!
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Is my backyard an attractive nuisance? Kid cut through fenced in back yard and fell, family wants me to pay for injury (ILLINOIS) My back and side yard are fenced in. The side fence runs along the side of my house, where there is a gate that is visible from the street. There is a second gate parallel to it at the back of my yard that lets out into the field surrounding the local middle school. My kids used that back gate to get to school quickly. Some kid I don't know walked across my whole front yard to get to the side yard gate, opened that gate without permission, and proceeded to try to cut across my backyard to get to the school, (this makes for an effective shortcut, as it cuts out an entire street and evades a crossing guard). He tripped over the water hose and got himself a bloody nose and hurt wrist. He came pounding on my back door. I called the school, the school called his parents, his mom asked me to call my homeowners insurance and then took him to the urgent care. They gave me their number and left before I could stop being flustered enough to object. Again, I don't even know this kid and have never given him or anyone else permission to enter my yard. My kids didn't give him permission, either, they are in college or in primary school, and the kid who crossed my yard is 12 or 13. Basically, my kids are much too old or young to know him. I'm concerned that if I contact my homeowner's insurance they'll raise my rates regardless, (I've read something like that here). And while I don't ultimately have a problem calling them, I'd like some reassurance that my fenced in and gated backyard isn't somehow an attractive nuisance since it leads to a destination one can expect a child to want to get to.
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It might not be a bad idea to file a police report so there is documentation of the tresspassing if his parents decide to escalate.
There is nothing in your yard that seems to make it likely to attract children such as a pool or other enticement. Your yard is properly fenced from your description. This does not sound like an attractive nuisance.
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Is my backyard an attractive nuisance? Kid cut through fenced in back yard and fell, family wants me to pay for injury (ILLINOIS) My back and side yard are fenced in. The side fence runs along the side of my house, where there is a gate that is visible from the street. There is a second gate parallel to it at the back of my yard that lets out into the field surrounding the local middle school. My kids used that back gate to get to school quickly. Some kid I don't know walked across my whole front yard to get to the side yard gate, opened that gate without permission, and proceeded to try to cut across my backyard to get to the school, (this makes for an effective shortcut, as it cuts out an entire street and evades a crossing guard). He tripped over the water hose and got himself a bloody nose and hurt wrist. He came pounding on my back door. I called the school, the school called his parents, his mom asked me to call my homeowners insurance and then took him to the urgent care. They gave me their number and left before I could stop being flustered enough to object. Again, I don't even know this kid and have never given him or anyone else permission to enter my yard. My kids didn't give him permission, either, they are in college or in primary school, and the kid who crossed my yard is 12 or 13. Basically, my kids are much too old or young to know him. I'm concerned that if I contact my homeowner's insurance they'll raise my rates regardless, (I've read something like that here). And while I don't ultimately have a problem calling them, I'd like some reassurance that my fenced in and gated backyard isn't somehow an attractive nuisance since it leads to a destination one can expect a child to want to get to.
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I would file a police report for the trespassing, install locks on the inside of both gates, and then contact your homeowners insurance explaining what happened and give them the police report.
People recommending "Call your homeowners insurance company" clearly don't understand how it works. Insurance companies look for *any* reason to increase your rates, including this one. Simply asking a question about this as a "hypothetical question" is reason enough for them. When I bought my first home I viewed homeowners insurance no differently than car insurance. I'd file a claim if the damage incurred was greater than my deductible. Pretty simple, right? **WRONG!!** We had a water pipe break (causing about $3k in damage), severe hail storm causing roughly same level of damage and a modest tree fall onto the house garage after big storm. All occurred within a three-year period. Did they pay the claim? Absolutely, no problem. THEN we received a letter stating they're dropping coverage. WTF? They collected well over $15k in premiums from us, so still profitable for them, so what gives? Ended up calling 4-5 more insurers and could NOT GET COVERAGE because too many claims within 3-5 year period. Almost stuck with lender forced place insurance at 300% premium to previous prices. Fortunately, called the insurance commissioner's office and they set me up with agency specifically for people in our position. Damn lucky. **SO DON'T CONTACT HOMEOWNERS INSURANCE UNTIL LEGALLY OBLIGATED TO DO SO**. Read your policy or hire someone to explain the reporting requirements. It's far less expensive and you'll likely achieve a better outcome paying an attorney $1,500 to handle this than taking advice from random Redditors, including me!
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Is my backyard an attractive nuisance? Kid cut through fenced in back yard and fell, family wants me to pay for injury (ILLINOIS) My back and side yard are fenced in. The side fence runs along the side of my house, where there is a gate that is visible from the street. There is a second gate parallel to it at the back of my yard that lets out into the field surrounding the local middle school. My kids used that back gate to get to school quickly. Some kid I don't know walked across my whole front yard to get to the side yard gate, opened that gate without permission, and proceeded to try to cut across my backyard to get to the school, (this makes for an effective shortcut, as it cuts out an entire street and evades a crossing guard). He tripped over the water hose and got himself a bloody nose and hurt wrist. He came pounding on my back door. I called the school, the school called his parents, his mom asked me to call my homeowners insurance and then took him to the urgent care. They gave me their number and left before I could stop being flustered enough to object. Again, I don't even know this kid and have never given him or anyone else permission to enter my yard. My kids didn't give him permission, either, they are in college or in primary school, and the kid who crossed my yard is 12 or 13. Basically, my kids are much too old or young to know him. I'm concerned that if I contact my homeowner's insurance they'll raise my rates regardless, (I've read something like that here). And while I don't ultimately have a problem calling them, I'd like some reassurance that my fenced in and gated backyard isn't somehow an attractive nuisance since it leads to a destination one can expect a child to want to get to.
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People recommending "Call your homeowners insurance company" clearly don't understand how it works. Insurance companies look for *any* reason to increase your rates, including this one. Simply asking a question about this as a "hypothetical question" is reason enough for them. When I bought my first home I viewed homeowners insurance no differently than car insurance. I'd file a claim if the damage incurred was greater than my deductible. Pretty simple, right? **WRONG!!** We had a water pipe break (causing about $3k in damage), severe hail storm causing roughly same level of damage and a modest tree fall onto the house garage after big storm. All occurred within a three-year period. Did they pay the claim? Absolutely, no problem. THEN we received a letter stating they're dropping coverage. WTF? They collected well over $15k in premiums from us, so still profitable for them, so what gives? Ended up calling 4-5 more insurers and could NOT GET COVERAGE because too many claims within 3-5 year period. Almost stuck with lender forced place insurance at 300% premium to previous prices. Fortunately, called the insurance commissioner's office and they set me up with agency specifically for people in our position. Damn lucky. **SO DON'T CONTACT HOMEOWNERS INSURANCE UNTIL LEGALLY OBLIGATED TO DO SO**. Read your policy or hire someone to explain the reporting requirements. It's far less expensive and you'll likely achieve a better outcome paying an attorney $1,500 to handle this than taking advice from random Redditors, including me!
My understanding is Illinois doesn't follow the "attractive nuisance" doctrine anymore (it did till 1955). Now trespassing children fall under a negligence cause of action (foreseeable risk versus the cost to fix the dangerous condition). https://law.justia.com/cases/illinois/supreme-court/1984/58624-6.html If your served, please retain a lawyer.
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Is my backyard an attractive nuisance? Kid cut through fenced in back yard and fell, family wants me to pay for injury (ILLINOIS) My back and side yard are fenced in. The side fence runs along the side of my house, where there is a gate that is visible from the street. There is a second gate parallel to it at the back of my yard that lets out into the field surrounding the local middle school. My kids used that back gate to get to school quickly. Some kid I don't know walked across my whole front yard to get to the side yard gate, opened that gate without permission, and proceeded to try to cut across my backyard to get to the school, (this makes for an effective shortcut, as it cuts out an entire street and evades a crossing guard). He tripped over the water hose and got himself a bloody nose and hurt wrist. He came pounding on my back door. I called the school, the school called his parents, his mom asked me to call my homeowners insurance and then took him to the urgent care. They gave me their number and left before I could stop being flustered enough to object. Again, I don't even know this kid and have never given him or anyone else permission to enter my yard. My kids didn't give him permission, either, they are in college or in primary school, and the kid who crossed my yard is 12 or 13. Basically, my kids are much too old or young to know him. I'm concerned that if I contact my homeowner's insurance they'll raise my rates regardless, (I've read something like that here). And while I don't ultimately have a problem calling them, I'd like some reassurance that my fenced in and gated backyard isn't somehow an attractive nuisance since it leads to a destination one can expect a child to want to get to.
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No, that's not an attractive nuisance. Yes, your property leads to someplace the kid wanted to go to. But, that's true of EVERY trespassing case. In Illinois, there is a negligence rule: was the risk to trespassing children foreseeable and what would the expense be in ameliorating that risk? Do a lot of your kids use your backyard as a shortcut? I have a hard time seeing where a hose poses a foreseeable risk. Kid wasn't paying attention and tripped in your yard. If it were me, I wouldn't call your homeowners insurance, at least not until you hear back from these people. In the meantime, though, I'd lock the back gate.
People recommending "Call your homeowners insurance company" clearly don't understand how it works. Insurance companies look for *any* reason to increase your rates, including this one. Simply asking a question about this as a "hypothetical question" is reason enough for them. When I bought my first home I viewed homeowners insurance no differently than car insurance. I'd file a claim if the damage incurred was greater than my deductible. Pretty simple, right? **WRONG!!** We had a water pipe break (causing about $3k in damage), severe hail storm causing roughly same level of damage and a modest tree fall onto the house garage after big storm. All occurred within a three-year period. Did they pay the claim? Absolutely, no problem. THEN we received a letter stating they're dropping coverage. WTF? They collected well over $15k in premiums from us, so still profitable for them, so what gives? Ended up calling 4-5 more insurers and could NOT GET COVERAGE because too many claims within 3-5 year period. Almost stuck with lender forced place insurance at 300% premium to previous prices. Fortunately, called the insurance commissioner's office and they set me up with agency specifically for people in our position. Damn lucky. **SO DON'T CONTACT HOMEOWNERS INSURANCE UNTIL LEGALLY OBLIGATED TO DO SO**. Read your policy or hire someone to explain the reporting requirements. It's far less expensive and you'll likely achieve a better outcome paying an attorney $1,500 to handle this than taking advice from random Redditors, including me!
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