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5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mbhm7 | d9mh9dx | 1,478,307,194 | 1,478,316,766 | 386 | 956 | I say this as a mom who raised my daughter alone from day 1 but not even with the benefit of receiving child support. If she doesn't want to be involved then it would not be beneficial to the child to force her to be. That would end up hurting the child more in the long run. Parenting is harder than people think, especially doing it on your own. Way harder. Take your family up on any offers to help. Stop worrying about what she is doing and just be the best dad you can be. See if you can maybe join a gym or something that has a childcare service so you can exercise out some of the frustration and get a little break at the same time. | Congratulations. You're a horrible person who forced someone to give up their bodily autonomy. She agreed to have the child under very specific circumstances and now you're pissed that she is doing *exactly* what she said she would do. You are a huge fucking idiot and an abusive asshole. Good job. | 0 | 9,572 | 2.476684 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mh9dx | d9mard4 | 1,478,316,766 | 1,478,306,045 | 956 | 81 | Congratulations. You're a horrible person who forced someone to give up their bodily autonomy. She agreed to have the child under very specific circumstances and now you're pissed that she is doing *exactly* what she said she would do. You are a huge fucking idiot and an abusive asshole. Good job. | She is not a deadbeat mom. She is not a good mother, but she does support her child. You may be able to give the child up for adoption or surrender him to the state. But if you think she is a deadbeat, what would you be? | 1 | 10,721 | 11.802469 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mhilj | d9meml8 | 1,478,317,226 | 1,478,312,265 | 949 | 765 | Good on her for getting out of such an abusive relationship! I'm also impressed that she seems to be working hard on herself by hitting up the gym. | She never wanted the kid in the first place, yet you're mad at her! You should be ashamed of yourself for making the kid's mom have a kid she didn't want! As far as I'm concerned, you deserve this. You obviously didn't think about how your life would change with a kid in the picture. Blame your selfish self for your situation. I have no sympathy for you, sir. You made your bed, now lay in it. Shame on you. | 1 | 4,961 | 1.240523 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mauxk | d9mhilj | 1,478,306,200 | 1,478,317,226 | 663 | 949 | > She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. 1. She's the opposite of a deadbeat, but I'll reserve moral judgment on the rest of her behavior. 2. *What do you want the courts to do?* 3. Are you on any sort of public assistance? There are resources available for people in your position. | Good on her for getting out of such an abusive relationship! I'm also impressed that she seems to be working hard on herself by hitting up the gym. | 0 | 11,026 | 1.431373 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mbhm7 | d9mhilj | 1,478,307,194 | 1,478,317,226 | 386 | 949 | I say this as a mom who raised my daughter alone from day 1 but not even with the benefit of receiving child support. If she doesn't want to be involved then it would not be beneficial to the child to force her to be. That would end up hurting the child more in the long run. Parenting is harder than people think, especially doing it on your own. Way harder. Take your family up on any offers to help. Stop worrying about what she is doing and just be the best dad you can be. See if you can maybe join a gym or something that has a childcare service so you can exercise out some of the frustration and get a little break at the same time. | Good on her for getting out of such an abusive relationship! I'm also impressed that she seems to be working hard on herself by hitting up the gym. | 0 | 10,032 | 2.458549 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mhilj | d9mard4 | 1,478,317,226 | 1,478,306,045 | 949 | 81 | Good on her for getting out of such an abusive relationship! I'm also impressed that she seems to be working hard on herself by hitting up the gym. | She is not a deadbeat mom. She is not a good mother, but she does support her child. You may be able to give the child up for adoption or surrender him to the state. But if you think she is a deadbeat, what would you be? | 1 | 11,181 | 11.716049 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9meml8 | d9miww9 | 1,478,312,265 | 1,478,319,889 | 765 | 824 | She never wanted the kid in the first place, yet you're mad at her! You should be ashamed of yourself for making the kid's mom have a kid she didn't want! As far as I'm concerned, you deserve this. You obviously didn't think about how your life would change with a kid in the picture. Blame your selfish self for your situation. I have no sympathy for you, sir. You made your bed, now lay in it. Shame on you. | Interesting. So the fact that she suffered through the agony of pregnancy (I myself am 7 months pregnant-it's agony) but that wasn't enough, you want to force her to take care of a child she didn't want at all. Make sure to add insult to injury. Nice. Sorry your plan didn't work out and your extremely generous offer of being in a relationship with her wasn't appealing enough. You seem like a catch... Not. Maybe you should consider the way this feels when women are fighting for the right to choose... The fact that so many women are in the same position as you because dads bail all.of.the.time (more than moms) should really provide a different perspective on abortion. Boo fucking hoo you got the shitty end of the stick and have to do this all alone... Just like millions of single moms do everyday. Sorry no sympathy for you but I'm loving the karma! | 0 | 7,624 | 1.077124 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mauxk | d9miww9 | 1,478,306,200 | 1,478,319,889 | 663 | 824 | > She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. 1. She's the opposite of a deadbeat, but I'll reserve moral judgment on the rest of her behavior. 2. *What do you want the courts to do?* 3. Are you on any sort of public assistance? There are resources available for people in your position. | Interesting. So the fact that she suffered through the agony of pregnancy (I myself am 7 months pregnant-it's agony) but that wasn't enough, you want to force her to take care of a child she didn't want at all. Make sure to add insult to injury. Nice. Sorry your plan didn't work out and your extremely generous offer of being in a relationship with her wasn't appealing enough. You seem like a catch... Not. Maybe you should consider the way this feels when women are fighting for the right to choose... The fact that so many women are in the same position as you because dads bail all.of.the.time (more than moms) should really provide a different perspective on abortion. Boo fucking hoo you got the shitty end of the stick and have to do this all alone... Just like millions of single moms do everyday. Sorry no sympathy for you but I'm loving the karma! | 0 | 13,689 | 1.242836 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9miww9 | d9mbhm7 | 1,478,319,889 | 1,478,307,194 | 824 | 386 | Interesting. So the fact that she suffered through the agony of pregnancy (I myself am 7 months pregnant-it's agony) but that wasn't enough, you want to force her to take care of a child she didn't want at all. Make sure to add insult to injury. Nice. Sorry your plan didn't work out and your extremely generous offer of being in a relationship with her wasn't appealing enough. You seem like a catch... Not. Maybe you should consider the way this feels when women are fighting for the right to choose... The fact that so many women are in the same position as you because dads bail all.of.the.time (more than moms) should really provide a different perspective on abortion. Boo fucking hoo you got the shitty end of the stick and have to do this all alone... Just like millions of single moms do everyday. Sorry no sympathy for you but I'm loving the karma! | I say this as a mom who raised my daughter alone from day 1 but not even with the benefit of receiving child support. If she doesn't want to be involved then it would not be beneficial to the child to force her to be. That would end up hurting the child more in the long run. Parenting is harder than people think, especially doing it on your own. Way harder. Take your family up on any offers to help. Stop worrying about what she is doing and just be the best dad you can be. See if you can maybe join a gym or something that has a childcare service so you can exercise out some of the frustration and get a little break at the same time. | 1 | 12,695 | 2.134715 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9miww9 | d9mikqj | 1,478,319,889 | 1,478,319,219 | 824 | 197 | Interesting. So the fact that she suffered through the agony of pregnancy (I myself am 7 months pregnant-it's agony) but that wasn't enough, you want to force her to take care of a child she didn't want at all. Make sure to add insult to injury. Nice. Sorry your plan didn't work out and your extremely generous offer of being in a relationship with her wasn't appealing enough. You seem like a catch... Not. Maybe you should consider the way this feels when women are fighting for the right to choose... The fact that so many women are in the same position as you because dads bail all.of.the.time (more than moms) should really provide a different perspective on abortion. Boo fucking hoo you got the shitty end of the stick and have to do this all alone... Just like millions of single moms do everyday. Sorry no sympathy for you but I'm loving the karma! | Nah... This doesn't seem real. That's trolling. | 1 | 670 | 4.182741 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mard4 | d9miww9 | 1,478,306,045 | 1,478,319,889 | 81 | 824 | She is not a deadbeat mom. She is not a good mother, but she does support her child. You may be able to give the child up for adoption or surrender him to the state. But if you think she is a deadbeat, what would you be? | Interesting. So the fact that she suffered through the agony of pregnancy (I myself am 7 months pregnant-it's agony) but that wasn't enough, you want to force her to take care of a child she didn't want at all. Make sure to add insult to injury. Nice. Sorry your plan didn't work out and your extremely generous offer of being in a relationship with her wasn't appealing enough. You seem like a catch... Not. Maybe you should consider the way this feels when women are fighting for the right to choose... The fact that so many women are in the same position as you because dads bail all.of.the.time (more than moms) should really provide a different perspective on abortion. Boo fucking hoo you got the shitty end of the stick and have to do this all alone... Just like millions of single moms do everyday. Sorry no sympathy for you but I'm loving the karma! | 0 | 13,844 | 10.17284 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9meml8 | d9mt7xd | 1,478,312,265 | 1,478,352,065 | 765 | 794 | She never wanted the kid in the first place, yet you're mad at her! You should be ashamed of yourself for making the kid's mom have a kid she didn't want! As far as I'm concerned, you deserve this. You obviously didn't think about how your life would change with a kid in the picture. Blame your selfish self for your situation. I have no sympathy for you, sir. You made your bed, now lay in it. Shame on you. | I feel like this guy should be a case study shown to the anti abortion people. | 0 | 39,800 | 1.037908 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9msgcq | d9mt7xd | 1,478,350,104 | 1,478,352,065 | 695 | 794 | Deadbeat mom? Dude... in case these other 70 comments did make it clear already.... you're the asshole in this situation. > can't force her to look after him Just like the courts can't force any father to look after a kid? Hmm. They can make a dad pay child support.... that's ALL. And she's voluntarily paying you 25% more than required? She shouldn't pay that extra 25%. It's your problem. You're lucky she doesn't move to terminate all rights so she doesn't even have to pay anything. You somehow coerced, guilted, or threatened her into keeping a fetus that she absolutely did not want. You insisted that she put her body through the trauma of pregnancy and childbirth. She got the stretch marks, the hemorrhoids, the episiotomy, the swollen breasts, the sore back, and who knows what else. Pregnancy and childbirth ravage a body. You're bitching that she is trying to correct some of the damage that she endured for YOU by getting some treatments. You're a special kind of dick who forces her to have a baby against her will and then wants a judge to "force" her to care for the baby. Do you picture an armed bailiff standing over her shoulder while she begrudgingly changes diapers and mops up the vomit on her shoulder? Not everybody wants kids. Some flat out refuse. It's a shame she couldn't have been stronger and stuck vehemently to her principles and life choices. The thing she wanted most in life... to *not* have a baby... she broke it for you. So pull up your big boy pants, and enjoy the fruits of your manipulation and her suffering. Just like you always dreamed. Your miracle baby who should never have existed. And you're just an ungrateful hypocrite. | I feel like this guy should be a case study shown to the anti abortion people. | 0 | 1,961 | 1.142446 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mt7xd | d9mauxk | 1,478,352,065 | 1,478,306,200 | 794 | 663 | I feel like this guy should be a case study shown to the anti abortion people. | > She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. 1. She's the opposite of a deadbeat, but I'll reserve moral judgment on the rest of her behavior. 2. *What do you want the courts to do?* 3. Are you on any sort of public assistance? There are resources available for people in your position. | 1 | 45,865 | 1.197587 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mnetw | d9mt7xd | 1,478,331,481 | 1,478,352,065 | 393 | 794 | You have a very abusive mentality. She didn't even want to get pregnant in the first place. Then you forced her to go trough with it, AND then you made her pay child support for a damn kid she didn't want att all BUT you forced her to have. I hope she takes legal action and have proof of you making her not take an abortion. | I feel like this guy should be a case study shown to the anti abortion people. | 0 | 20,584 | 2.020356 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mbhm7 | d9mt7xd | 1,478,307,194 | 1,478,352,065 | 386 | 794 | I say this as a mom who raised my daughter alone from day 1 but not even with the benefit of receiving child support. If she doesn't want to be involved then it would not be beneficial to the child to force her to be. That would end up hurting the child more in the long run. Parenting is harder than people think, especially doing it on your own. Way harder. Take your family up on any offers to help. Stop worrying about what she is doing and just be the best dad you can be. See if you can maybe join a gym or something that has a childcare service so you can exercise out some of the frustration and get a little break at the same time. | I feel like this guy should be a case study shown to the anti abortion people. | 0 | 44,871 | 2.056995 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mt7xd | d9mrgjv | 1,478,352,065 | 1,478,347,081 | 794 | 306 | I feel like this guy should be a case study shown to the anti abortion people. | This is all on YOU. YOU wanted the baby - not the mother. She made that pretty clear from the get go it seems. Her only mistake is not telling you to piss off and get an abortion anyway. Sleep in the grave you've dug. | 1 | 4,984 | 2.594771 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mt7xd | d9mqcyi | 1,478,352,065 | 1,478,343,084 | 794 | 292 | I feel like this guy should be a case study shown to the anti abortion people. | Asshole. She didn't want it and now you want to force the kid on her so you can have a break? You're a joke. You're lucky you see a penny of child support. There's plenty of single mothers out there who have nothing but a part time. low-wage job, and welfare. You made your bed. Go sleep in it and leave her alone. | 1 | 8,981 | 2.719178 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mqwto | d9mt7xd | 1,478,345,187 | 1,478,352,065 | 233 | 794 | So fucking selfish. Just do the kid a favor and put him up for adoption. Maybe he'll get lucky with 2 Mature adults who actually deserve to have a kid. Maybe. | I feel like this guy should be a case study shown to the anti abortion people. | 0 | 6,878 | 3.407725 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mikqj | d9mt7xd | 1,478,319,219 | 1,478,352,065 | 197 | 794 | Nah... This doesn't seem real. That's trolling. | I feel like this guy should be a case study shown to the anti abortion people. | 0 | 32,846 | 4.030457 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mt7xd | d9mm973 | 1,478,352,065 | 1,478,327,667 | 794 | 123 | I feel like this guy should be a case study shown to the anti abortion people. | This is bait good people. Either a rando or somebody from the "childfree people are evil!" camp looking to gather ammunition. Already there's enough here to be screencapped and posted throughout the parenting subs for instant karma and outrage generation. Downvote and move on | 1 | 24,398 | 6.455285 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mt7xd | d9mard4 | 1,478,352,065 | 1,478,306,045 | 794 | 81 | I feel like this guy should be a case study shown to the anti abortion people. | She is not a deadbeat mom. She is not a good mother, but she does support her child. You may be able to give the child up for adoption or surrender him to the state. But if you think she is a deadbeat, what would you be? | 1 | 46,020 | 9.802469 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9meml8 | d9mauxk | 1,478,312,265 | 1,478,306,200 | 765 | 663 | She never wanted the kid in the first place, yet you're mad at her! You should be ashamed of yourself for making the kid's mom have a kid she didn't want! As far as I'm concerned, you deserve this. You obviously didn't think about how your life would change with a kid in the picture. Blame your selfish self for your situation. I have no sympathy for you, sir. You made your bed, now lay in it. Shame on you. | > She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. 1. She's the opposite of a deadbeat, but I'll reserve moral judgment on the rest of her behavior. 2. *What do you want the courts to do?* 3. Are you on any sort of public assistance? There are resources available for people in your position. | 1 | 6,065 | 1.153846 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9meml8 | d9mbhm7 | 1,478,312,265 | 1,478,307,194 | 765 | 386 | She never wanted the kid in the first place, yet you're mad at her! You should be ashamed of yourself for making the kid's mom have a kid she didn't want! As far as I'm concerned, you deserve this. You obviously didn't think about how your life would change with a kid in the picture. Blame your selfish self for your situation. I have no sympathy for you, sir. You made your bed, now lay in it. Shame on you. | I say this as a mom who raised my daughter alone from day 1 but not even with the benefit of receiving child support. If she doesn't want to be involved then it would not be beneficial to the child to force her to be. That would end up hurting the child more in the long run. Parenting is harder than people think, especially doing it on your own. Way harder. Take your family up on any offers to help. Stop worrying about what she is doing and just be the best dad you can be. See if you can maybe join a gym or something that has a childcare service so you can exercise out some of the frustration and get a little break at the same time. | 1 | 5,071 | 1.981865 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9meml8 | d9mard4 | 1,478,312,265 | 1,478,306,045 | 765 | 81 | She never wanted the kid in the first place, yet you're mad at her! You should be ashamed of yourself for making the kid's mom have a kid she didn't want! As far as I'm concerned, you deserve this. You obviously didn't think about how your life would change with a kid in the picture. Blame your selfish self for your situation. I have no sympathy for you, sir. You made your bed, now lay in it. Shame on you. | She is not a deadbeat mom. She is not a good mother, but she does support her child. You may be able to give the child up for adoption or surrender him to the state. But if you think she is a deadbeat, what would you be? | 1 | 6,220 | 9.444444 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mauxk | d9msgcq | 1,478,306,200 | 1,478,350,104 | 663 | 695 | > She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. 1. She's the opposite of a deadbeat, but I'll reserve moral judgment on the rest of her behavior. 2. *What do you want the courts to do?* 3. Are you on any sort of public assistance? There are resources available for people in your position. | Deadbeat mom? Dude... in case these other 70 comments did make it clear already.... you're the asshole in this situation. > can't force her to look after him Just like the courts can't force any father to look after a kid? Hmm. They can make a dad pay child support.... that's ALL. And she's voluntarily paying you 25% more than required? She shouldn't pay that extra 25%. It's your problem. You're lucky she doesn't move to terminate all rights so she doesn't even have to pay anything. You somehow coerced, guilted, or threatened her into keeping a fetus that she absolutely did not want. You insisted that she put her body through the trauma of pregnancy and childbirth. She got the stretch marks, the hemorrhoids, the episiotomy, the swollen breasts, the sore back, and who knows what else. Pregnancy and childbirth ravage a body. You're bitching that she is trying to correct some of the damage that she endured for YOU by getting some treatments. You're a special kind of dick who forces her to have a baby against her will and then wants a judge to "force" her to care for the baby. Do you picture an armed bailiff standing over her shoulder while she begrudgingly changes diapers and mops up the vomit on her shoulder? Not everybody wants kids. Some flat out refuse. It's a shame she couldn't have been stronger and stuck vehemently to her principles and life choices. The thing she wanted most in life... to *not* have a baby... she broke it for you. So pull up your big boy pants, and enjoy the fruits of your manipulation and her suffering. Just like you always dreamed. Your miracle baby who should never have existed. And you're just an ungrateful hypocrite. | 0 | 43,904 | 1.048265 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9msgcq | d9mnetw | 1,478,350,104 | 1,478,331,481 | 695 | 393 | Deadbeat mom? Dude... in case these other 70 comments did make it clear already.... you're the asshole in this situation. > can't force her to look after him Just like the courts can't force any father to look after a kid? Hmm. They can make a dad pay child support.... that's ALL. And she's voluntarily paying you 25% more than required? She shouldn't pay that extra 25%. It's your problem. You're lucky she doesn't move to terminate all rights so she doesn't even have to pay anything. You somehow coerced, guilted, or threatened her into keeping a fetus that she absolutely did not want. You insisted that she put her body through the trauma of pregnancy and childbirth. She got the stretch marks, the hemorrhoids, the episiotomy, the swollen breasts, the sore back, and who knows what else. Pregnancy and childbirth ravage a body. You're bitching that she is trying to correct some of the damage that she endured for YOU by getting some treatments. You're a special kind of dick who forces her to have a baby against her will and then wants a judge to "force" her to care for the baby. Do you picture an armed bailiff standing over her shoulder while she begrudgingly changes diapers and mops up the vomit on her shoulder? Not everybody wants kids. Some flat out refuse. It's a shame she couldn't have been stronger and stuck vehemently to her principles and life choices. The thing she wanted most in life... to *not* have a baby... she broke it for you. So pull up your big boy pants, and enjoy the fruits of your manipulation and her suffering. Just like you always dreamed. Your miracle baby who should never have existed. And you're just an ungrateful hypocrite. | You have a very abusive mentality. She didn't even want to get pregnant in the first place. Then you forced her to go trough with it, AND then you made her pay child support for a damn kid she didn't want att all BUT you forced her to have. I hope she takes legal action and have proof of you making her not take an abortion. | 1 | 18,623 | 1.768448 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mbhm7 | d9msgcq | 1,478,307,194 | 1,478,350,104 | 386 | 695 | I say this as a mom who raised my daughter alone from day 1 but not even with the benefit of receiving child support. If she doesn't want to be involved then it would not be beneficial to the child to force her to be. That would end up hurting the child more in the long run. Parenting is harder than people think, especially doing it on your own. Way harder. Take your family up on any offers to help. Stop worrying about what she is doing and just be the best dad you can be. See if you can maybe join a gym or something that has a childcare service so you can exercise out some of the frustration and get a little break at the same time. | Deadbeat mom? Dude... in case these other 70 comments did make it clear already.... you're the asshole in this situation. > can't force her to look after him Just like the courts can't force any father to look after a kid? Hmm. They can make a dad pay child support.... that's ALL. And she's voluntarily paying you 25% more than required? She shouldn't pay that extra 25%. It's your problem. You're lucky she doesn't move to terminate all rights so she doesn't even have to pay anything. You somehow coerced, guilted, or threatened her into keeping a fetus that she absolutely did not want. You insisted that she put her body through the trauma of pregnancy and childbirth. She got the stretch marks, the hemorrhoids, the episiotomy, the swollen breasts, the sore back, and who knows what else. Pregnancy and childbirth ravage a body. You're bitching that she is trying to correct some of the damage that she endured for YOU by getting some treatments. You're a special kind of dick who forces her to have a baby against her will and then wants a judge to "force" her to care for the baby. Do you picture an armed bailiff standing over her shoulder while she begrudgingly changes diapers and mops up the vomit on her shoulder? Not everybody wants kids. Some flat out refuse. It's a shame she couldn't have been stronger and stuck vehemently to her principles and life choices. The thing she wanted most in life... to *not* have a baby... she broke it for you. So pull up your big boy pants, and enjoy the fruits of your manipulation and her suffering. Just like you always dreamed. Your miracle baby who should never have existed. And you're just an ungrateful hypocrite. | 0 | 42,910 | 1.800518 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9msgcq | d9mrgjv | 1,478,350,104 | 1,478,347,081 | 695 | 306 | Deadbeat mom? Dude... in case these other 70 comments did make it clear already.... you're the asshole in this situation. > can't force her to look after him Just like the courts can't force any father to look after a kid? Hmm. They can make a dad pay child support.... that's ALL. And she's voluntarily paying you 25% more than required? She shouldn't pay that extra 25%. It's your problem. You're lucky she doesn't move to terminate all rights so she doesn't even have to pay anything. You somehow coerced, guilted, or threatened her into keeping a fetus that she absolutely did not want. You insisted that she put her body through the trauma of pregnancy and childbirth. She got the stretch marks, the hemorrhoids, the episiotomy, the swollen breasts, the sore back, and who knows what else. Pregnancy and childbirth ravage a body. You're bitching that she is trying to correct some of the damage that she endured for YOU by getting some treatments. You're a special kind of dick who forces her to have a baby against her will and then wants a judge to "force" her to care for the baby. Do you picture an armed bailiff standing over her shoulder while she begrudgingly changes diapers and mops up the vomit on her shoulder? Not everybody wants kids. Some flat out refuse. It's a shame she couldn't have been stronger and stuck vehemently to her principles and life choices. The thing she wanted most in life... to *not* have a baby... she broke it for you. So pull up your big boy pants, and enjoy the fruits of your manipulation and her suffering. Just like you always dreamed. Your miracle baby who should never have existed. And you're just an ungrateful hypocrite. | This is all on YOU. YOU wanted the baby - not the mother. She made that pretty clear from the get go it seems. Her only mistake is not telling you to piss off and get an abortion anyway. Sleep in the grave you've dug. | 1 | 3,023 | 2.271242 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9msgcq | d9mqcyi | 1,478,350,104 | 1,478,343,084 | 695 | 292 | Deadbeat mom? Dude... in case these other 70 comments did make it clear already.... you're the asshole in this situation. > can't force her to look after him Just like the courts can't force any father to look after a kid? Hmm. They can make a dad pay child support.... that's ALL. And she's voluntarily paying you 25% more than required? She shouldn't pay that extra 25%. It's your problem. You're lucky she doesn't move to terminate all rights so she doesn't even have to pay anything. You somehow coerced, guilted, or threatened her into keeping a fetus that she absolutely did not want. You insisted that she put her body through the trauma of pregnancy and childbirth. She got the stretch marks, the hemorrhoids, the episiotomy, the swollen breasts, the sore back, and who knows what else. Pregnancy and childbirth ravage a body. You're bitching that she is trying to correct some of the damage that she endured for YOU by getting some treatments. You're a special kind of dick who forces her to have a baby against her will and then wants a judge to "force" her to care for the baby. Do you picture an armed bailiff standing over her shoulder while she begrudgingly changes diapers and mops up the vomit on her shoulder? Not everybody wants kids. Some flat out refuse. It's a shame she couldn't have been stronger and stuck vehemently to her principles and life choices. The thing she wanted most in life... to *not* have a baby... she broke it for you. So pull up your big boy pants, and enjoy the fruits of your manipulation and her suffering. Just like you always dreamed. Your miracle baby who should never have existed. And you're just an ungrateful hypocrite. | Asshole. She didn't want it and now you want to force the kid on her so you can have a break? You're a joke. You're lucky you see a penny of child support. There's plenty of single mothers out there who have nothing but a part time. low-wage job, and welfare. You made your bed. Go sleep in it and leave her alone. | 1 | 7,020 | 2.380137 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9msgcq | d9mqwto | 1,478,350,104 | 1,478,345,187 | 695 | 233 | Deadbeat mom? Dude... in case these other 70 comments did make it clear already.... you're the asshole in this situation. > can't force her to look after him Just like the courts can't force any father to look after a kid? Hmm. They can make a dad pay child support.... that's ALL. And she's voluntarily paying you 25% more than required? She shouldn't pay that extra 25%. It's your problem. You're lucky she doesn't move to terminate all rights so she doesn't even have to pay anything. You somehow coerced, guilted, or threatened her into keeping a fetus that she absolutely did not want. You insisted that she put her body through the trauma of pregnancy and childbirth. She got the stretch marks, the hemorrhoids, the episiotomy, the swollen breasts, the sore back, and who knows what else. Pregnancy and childbirth ravage a body. You're bitching that she is trying to correct some of the damage that she endured for YOU by getting some treatments. You're a special kind of dick who forces her to have a baby against her will and then wants a judge to "force" her to care for the baby. Do you picture an armed bailiff standing over her shoulder while she begrudgingly changes diapers and mops up the vomit on her shoulder? Not everybody wants kids. Some flat out refuse. It's a shame she couldn't have been stronger and stuck vehemently to her principles and life choices. The thing she wanted most in life... to *not* have a baby... she broke it for you. So pull up your big boy pants, and enjoy the fruits of your manipulation and her suffering. Just like you always dreamed. Your miracle baby who should never have existed. And you're just an ungrateful hypocrite. | So fucking selfish. Just do the kid a favor and put him up for adoption. Maybe he'll get lucky with 2 Mature adults who actually deserve to have a kid. Maybe. | 1 | 4,917 | 2.982833 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mikqj | d9msgcq | 1,478,319,219 | 1,478,350,104 | 197 | 695 | Nah... This doesn't seem real. That's trolling. | Deadbeat mom? Dude... in case these other 70 comments did make it clear already.... you're the asshole in this situation. > can't force her to look after him Just like the courts can't force any father to look after a kid? Hmm. They can make a dad pay child support.... that's ALL. And she's voluntarily paying you 25% more than required? She shouldn't pay that extra 25%. It's your problem. You're lucky she doesn't move to terminate all rights so she doesn't even have to pay anything. You somehow coerced, guilted, or threatened her into keeping a fetus that she absolutely did not want. You insisted that she put her body through the trauma of pregnancy and childbirth. She got the stretch marks, the hemorrhoids, the episiotomy, the swollen breasts, the sore back, and who knows what else. Pregnancy and childbirth ravage a body. You're bitching that she is trying to correct some of the damage that she endured for YOU by getting some treatments. You're a special kind of dick who forces her to have a baby against her will and then wants a judge to "force" her to care for the baby. Do you picture an armed bailiff standing over her shoulder while she begrudgingly changes diapers and mops up the vomit on her shoulder? Not everybody wants kids. Some flat out refuse. It's a shame she couldn't have been stronger and stuck vehemently to her principles and life choices. The thing she wanted most in life... to *not* have a baby... she broke it for you. So pull up your big boy pants, and enjoy the fruits of your manipulation and her suffering. Just like you always dreamed. Your miracle baby who should never have existed. And you're just an ungrateful hypocrite. | 0 | 30,885 | 3.527919 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mm973 | d9msgcq | 1,478,327,667 | 1,478,350,104 | 123 | 695 | This is bait good people. Either a rando or somebody from the "childfree people are evil!" camp looking to gather ammunition. Already there's enough here to be screencapped and posted throughout the parenting subs for instant karma and outrage generation. Downvote and move on | Deadbeat mom? Dude... in case these other 70 comments did make it clear already.... you're the asshole in this situation. > can't force her to look after him Just like the courts can't force any father to look after a kid? Hmm. They can make a dad pay child support.... that's ALL. And she's voluntarily paying you 25% more than required? She shouldn't pay that extra 25%. It's your problem. You're lucky she doesn't move to terminate all rights so she doesn't even have to pay anything. You somehow coerced, guilted, or threatened her into keeping a fetus that she absolutely did not want. You insisted that she put her body through the trauma of pregnancy and childbirth. She got the stretch marks, the hemorrhoids, the episiotomy, the swollen breasts, the sore back, and who knows what else. Pregnancy and childbirth ravage a body. You're bitching that she is trying to correct some of the damage that she endured for YOU by getting some treatments. You're a special kind of dick who forces her to have a baby against her will and then wants a judge to "force" her to care for the baby. Do you picture an armed bailiff standing over her shoulder while she begrudgingly changes diapers and mops up the vomit on her shoulder? Not everybody wants kids. Some flat out refuse. It's a shame she couldn't have been stronger and stuck vehemently to her principles and life choices. The thing she wanted most in life... to *not* have a baby... she broke it for you. So pull up your big boy pants, and enjoy the fruits of your manipulation and her suffering. Just like you always dreamed. Your miracle baby who should never have existed. And you're just an ungrateful hypocrite. | 0 | 22,437 | 5.650407 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mard4 | d9msgcq | 1,478,306,045 | 1,478,350,104 | 81 | 695 | She is not a deadbeat mom. She is not a good mother, but she does support her child. You may be able to give the child up for adoption or surrender him to the state. But if you think she is a deadbeat, what would you be? | Deadbeat mom? Dude... in case these other 70 comments did make it clear already.... you're the asshole in this situation. > can't force her to look after him Just like the courts can't force any father to look after a kid? Hmm. They can make a dad pay child support.... that's ALL. And she's voluntarily paying you 25% more than required? She shouldn't pay that extra 25%. It's your problem. You're lucky she doesn't move to terminate all rights so she doesn't even have to pay anything. You somehow coerced, guilted, or threatened her into keeping a fetus that she absolutely did not want. You insisted that she put her body through the trauma of pregnancy and childbirth. She got the stretch marks, the hemorrhoids, the episiotomy, the swollen breasts, the sore back, and who knows what else. Pregnancy and childbirth ravage a body. You're bitching that she is trying to correct some of the damage that she endured for YOU by getting some treatments. You're a special kind of dick who forces her to have a baby against her will and then wants a judge to "force" her to care for the baby. Do you picture an armed bailiff standing over her shoulder while she begrudgingly changes diapers and mops up the vomit on her shoulder? Not everybody wants kids. Some flat out refuse. It's a shame she couldn't have been stronger and stuck vehemently to her principles and life choices. The thing she wanted most in life... to *not* have a baby... she broke it for you. So pull up your big boy pants, and enjoy the fruits of your manipulation and her suffering. Just like you always dreamed. Your miracle baby who should never have existed. And you're just an ungrateful hypocrite. | 0 | 44,059 | 8.580247 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mard4 | d9mauxk | 1,478,306,045 | 1,478,306,200 | 81 | 663 | She is not a deadbeat mom. She is not a good mother, but she does support her child. You may be able to give the child up for adoption or surrender him to the state. But if you think she is a deadbeat, what would you be? | > She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. 1. She's the opposite of a deadbeat, but I'll reserve moral judgment on the rest of her behavior. 2. *What do you want the courts to do?* 3. Are you on any sort of public assistance? There are resources available for people in your position. | 0 | 155 | 8.185185 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mbhm7 | d9mnetw | 1,478,307,194 | 1,478,331,481 | 386 | 393 | I say this as a mom who raised my daughter alone from day 1 but not even with the benefit of receiving child support. If she doesn't want to be involved then it would not be beneficial to the child to force her to be. That would end up hurting the child more in the long run. Parenting is harder than people think, especially doing it on your own. Way harder. Take your family up on any offers to help. Stop worrying about what she is doing and just be the best dad you can be. See if you can maybe join a gym or something that has a childcare service so you can exercise out some of the frustration and get a little break at the same time. | You have a very abusive mentality. She didn't even want to get pregnant in the first place. Then you forced her to go trough with it, AND then you made her pay child support for a damn kid she didn't want att all BUT you forced her to have. I hope she takes legal action and have proof of you making her not take an abortion. | 0 | 24,287 | 1.018135 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mikqj | d9mnetw | 1,478,319,219 | 1,478,331,481 | 197 | 393 | Nah... This doesn't seem real. That's trolling. | You have a very abusive mentality. She didn't even want to get pregnant in the first place. Then you forced her to go trough with it, AND then you made her pay child support for a damn kid she didn't want att all BUT you forced her to have. I hope she takes legal action and have proof of you making her not take an abortion. | 0 | 12,262 | 1.994924 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mnetw | d9mm973 | 1,478,331,481 | 1,478,327,667 | 393 | 123 | You have a very abusive mentality. She didn't even want to get pregnant in the first place. Then you forced her to go trough with it, AND then you made her pay child support for a damn kid she didn't want att all BUT you forced her to have. I hope she takes legal action and have proof of you making her not take an abortion. | This is bait good people. Either a rando or somebody from the "childfree people are evil!" camp looking to gather ammunition. Already there's enough here to be screencapped and posted throughout the parenting subs for instant karma and outrage generation. Downvote and move on | 1 | 3,814 | 3.195122 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mnetw | d9mard4 | 1,478,331,481 | 1,478,306,045 | 393 | 81 | You have a very abusive mentality. She didn't even want to get pregnant in the first place. Then you forced her to go trough with it, AND then you made her pay child support for a damn kid she didn't want att all BUT you forced her to have. I hope she takes legal action and have proof of you making her not take an abortion. | She is not a deadbeat mom. She is not a good mother, but she does support her child. You may be able to give the child up for adoption or surrender him to the state. But if you think she is a deadbeat, what would you be? | 1 | 25,436 | 4.851852 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mard4 | d9mbhm7 | 1,478,306,045 | 1,478,307,194 | 81 | 386 | She is not a deadbeat mom. She is not a good mother, but she does support her child. You may be able to give the child up for adoption or surrender him to the state. But if you think she is a deadbeat, what would you be? | I say this as a mom who raised my daughter alone from day 1 but not even with the benefit of receiving child support. If she doesn't want to be involved then it would not be beneficial to the child to force her to be. That would end up hurting the child more in the long run. Parenting is harder than people think, especially doing it on your own. Way harder. Take your family up on any offers to help. Stop worrying about what she is doing and just be the best dad you can be. See if you can maybe join a gym or something that has a childcare service so you can exercise out some of the frustration and get a little break at the same time. | 0 | 1,149 | 4.765432 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mrgjv | d9mqcyi | 1,478,347,081 | 1,478,343,084 | 306 | 292 | This is all on YOU. YOU wanted the baby - not the mother. She made that pretty clear from the get go it seems. Her only mistake is not telling you to piss off and get an abortion anyway. Sleep in the grave you've dug. | Asshole. She didn't want it and now you want to force the kid on her so you can have a break? You're a joke. You're lucky you see a penny of child support. There's plenty of single mothers out there who have nothing but a part time. low-wage job, and welfare. You made your bed. Go sleep in it and leave her alone. | 1 | 3,997 | 1.047945 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mrgjv | d9mqwto | 1,478,347,081 | 1,478,345,187 | 306 | 233 | This is all on YOU. YOU wanted the baby - not the mother. She made that pretty clear from the get go it seems. Her only mistake is not telling you to piss off and get an abortion anyway. Sleep in the grave you've dug. | So fucking selfish. Just do the kid a favor and put him up for adoption. Maybe he'll get lucky with 2 Mature adults who actually deserve to have a kid. Maybe. | 1 | 1,894 | 1.313305 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mrgjv | d9mikqj | 1,478,347,081 | 1,478,319,219 | 306 | 197 | This is all on YOU. YOU wanted the baby - not the mother. She made that pretty clear from the get go it seems. Her only mistake is not telling you to piss off and get an abortion anyway. Sleep in the grave you've dug. | Nah... This doesn't seem real. That's trolling. | 1 | 27,862 | 1.553299 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mrgjv | d9mm973 | 1,478,347,081 | 1,478,327,667 | 306 | 123 | This is all on YOU. YOU wanted the baby - not the mother. She made that pretty clear from the get go it seems. Her only mistake is not telling you to piss off and get an abortion anyway. Sleep in the grave you've dug. | This is bait good people. Either a rando or somebody from the "childfree people are evil!" camp looking to gather ammunition. Already there's enough here to be screencapped and posted throughout the parenting subs for instant karma and outrage generation. Downvote and move on | 1 | 19,414 | 2.487805 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mrgjv | d9mard4 | 1,478,347,081 | 1,478,306,045 | 306 | 81 | This is all on YOU. YOU wanted the baby - not the mother. She made that pretty clear from the get go it seems. Her only mistake is not telling you to piss off and get an abortion anyway. Sleep in the grave you've dug. | She is not a deadbeat mom. She is not a good mother, but she does support her child. You may be able to give the child up for adoption or surrender him to the state. But if you think she is a deadbeat, what would you be? | 1 | 41,036 | 3.777778 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mqcyi | d9mikqj | 1,478,343,084 | 1,478,319,219 | 292 | 197 | Asshole. She didn't want it and now you want to force the kid on her so you can have a break? You're a joke. You're lucky you see a penny of child support. There's plenty of single mothers out there who have nothing but a part time. low-wage job, and welfare. You made your bed. Go sleep in it and leave her alone. | Nah... This doesn't seem real. That's trolling. | 1 | 23,865 | 1.482234 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mqcyi | d9mm973 | 1,478,343,084 | 1,478,327,667 | 292 | 123 | Asshole. She didn't want it and now you want to force the kid on her so you can have a break? You're a joke. You're lucky you see a penny of child support. There's plenty of single mothers out there who have nothing but a part time. low-wage job, and welfare. You made your bed. Go sleep in it and leave her alone. | This is bait good people. Either a rando or somebody from the "childfree people are evil!" camp looking to gather ammunition. Already there's enough here to be screencapped and posted throughout the parenting subs for instant karma and outrage generation. Downvote and move on | 1 | 15,417 | 2.373984 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mard4 | d9mqcyi | 1,478,306,045 | 1,478,343,084 | 81 | 292 | She is not a deadbeat mom. She is not a good mother, but she does support her child. You may be able to give the child up for adoption or surrender him to the state. But if you think she is a deadbeat, what would you be? | Asshole. She didn't want it and now you want to force the kid on her so you can have a break? You're a joke. You're lucky you see a penny of child support. There's plenty of single mothers out there who have nothing but a part time. low-wage job, and welfare. You made your bed. Go sleep in it and leave her alone. | 0 | 37,039 | 3.604938 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mikqj | d9mqwto | 1,478,319,219 | 1,478,345,187 | 197 | 233 | Nah... This doesn't seem real. That's trolling. | So fucking selfish. Just do the kid a favor and put him up for adoption. Maybe he'll get lucky with 2 Mature adults who actually deserve to have a kid. Maybe. | 0 | 25,968 | 1.182741 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mqwto | d9mm973 | 1,478,345,187 | 1,478,327,667 | 233 | 123 | So fucking selfish. Just do the kid a favor and put him up for adoption. Maybe he'll get lucky with 2 Mature adults who actually deserve to have a kid. Maybe. | This is bait good people. Either a rando or somebody from the "childfree people are evil!" camp looking to gather ammunition. Already there's enough here to be screencapped and posted throughout the parenting subs for instant karma and outrage generation. Downvote and move on | 1 | 17,520 | 1.894309 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mard4 | d9mqwto | 1,478,306,045 | 1,478,345,187 | 81 | 233 | She is not a deadbeat mom. She is not a good mother, but she does support her child. You may be able to give the child up for adoption or surrender him to the state. But if you think she is a deadbeat, what would you be? | So fucking selfish. Just do the kid a favor and put him up for adoption. Maybe he'll get lucky with 2 Mature adults who actually deserve to have a kid. Maybe. | 0 | 39,142 | 2.876543 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mikqj | d9mard4 | 1,478,319,219 | 1,478,306,045 | 197 | 81 | Nah... This doesn't seem real. That's trolling. | She is not a deadbeat mom. She is not a good mother, but she does support her child. You may be able to give the child up for adoption or surrender him to the state. But if you think she is a deadbeat, what would you be? | 1 | 13,174 | 2.432099 |
5b79z4 | legaladvice_train | 0.5 | [NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born. I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here? | d9mm973 | d9mard4 | 1,478,327,667 | 1,478,306,045 | 123 | 81 | This is bait good people. Either a rando or somebody from the "childfree people are evil!" camp looking to gather ammunition. Already there's enough here to be screencapped and posted throughout the parenting subs for instant karma and outrage generation. Downvote and move on | She is not a deadbeat mom. She is not a good mother, but she does support her child. You may be able to give the child up for adoption or surrender him to the state. But if you think she is a deadbeat, what would you be? | 1 | 21,622 | 1.518519 |
6mrt2p | legaladvice_train | 0.79 | My grandfather kidnapped my pregnant twin sister to stop her from getting an abortion but now everybody has done a 180° turn. This is a throwaway account to protect our identities as much as possible but this does take place in the state of California. So a few months ago, my twin sister was raped after our high school graduation party. She's not in a good state of mind right now and is extremely angry at me because I was actually their target. I don't blame her in the slightest because the group of boys said my name a few times during the ordeal. My grandparents and parents are both extremely traditional people. They hold strong to their traditional Asian values of practically blind worship to the senior generation. My grandparents were extremely against the idea of abortion while my parents were on the fence but leaning towards my grandparents because of that respect towards the elder generation. Eventually, my grandfather found out that I was coordinating with my sister's best friend on how to get my sister to an abortion clinic. That night my grandfather kidnapped my sister and they were missing for almost a month before the police found them. My grandfather was trying to fly her to China. During that month, we discovered the identities of the rapists and we also have the semen samples from the rape kit as further evidence. I got in a rather heated exchange with several of the perpetrators but now I'm being threatened with both my and my sister's integrity. They realize that we can easily ruin their lives forever and send them to jail which is why they are threatening to release a video of the entire rape to the student body of the university that we will be attending after the summer. The group of boys dragged me into a room and molested me while forcing me to watch the video. I was forced to give one of them oral sex in order to keep them quiet about the video. I tried to keep a semen sample but they took it away. They didn't penetrate me and my hymen is still intact so I don't have any evidence to prove this happened the way that it did. They did video me doing everything and I was forced to say it was consensual. I'm sad I had to do this but I want to help my sister however much I can even if it's just to shut this group of boys up so that event isn't revealed. The entire incident has been kept very quiet because my parents insist that our momentary desire for vengeance is much less important than the stigma such an incident will cause if it becomes public. My sister hasn't said a single word and I'm very worried about her. She isn't mentally stable right now and while so far not suicidal, I am very worried. My grandfather has since returned but now after realizing that there is a high possibility of the father being black, he is insisting that she abort the baby. We just got back from the abortion clinic a few hours ago but they are refusing to help because my sister won't reply to anything that they say and that she isn't mentally sound. I don't know what to do and don't know who to talk to. My family wants to keep everything quiet. My sister has not said a single thing. She did yell at me for a few minutes but quickly stopped talking. It's been over a month since I last heard her voice. I don't know what to do! I should be an adult right? I'm already 18 but I don't feel like an adult. This whole thing feels like a guillotine hanging over our necks. How can I report those boys to the police without everything becoming public? They already said that if we take them down then they will take us down with them. One of them said he will help me if I have sex with him but I don't want to. What should I do about my family? Right now they are against everything that I think should be done and my sister has not replied to anything that we ask. I'm so angry! My grandfather kidnapped my sister causing everything to be delayed so long and now he has completely changed his point of view. First he was trying everything to prevent the abortion and now he is trying everything to force her into it. He even threatened me while holding a coat hanger because I pushed him away when he was trying to enter my sister's room. I also can't stop crying every time I hear my mom and dad regret having daughters. The reason I'm posting here is because I was hoping a lawyer could give me advice on what to do. I feel really alone right now. The group of rapists is threatening me from the front while my family isn't doing anything to help from the back. My sister is completely silent and I'm worried about her committing suicide even though she hasn't shown any intent to. Am I even in the right place? Can a lawyer even help me? I want to sue my family and get protective custody of my sister but can I even do this? My sister hasn't said a single word and has no response to anything that anyone asks. All she does is sit there. The only person who knows other than the related parties is my sister's best friend. Not even my best friend knows. Please help me. I don't care if my video goes public. I only want to prevent my sister's video from becoming public. The problem is that we are identical twins so either video becoming public would be bad for my sister. I tried fighting back against the group of boys but they responded by posting a short clip of my sister's video to this website and everybody on that website is showing crazy enthusiasm for it. I tried to use that to my advantage but nobody on that website has an account only a bunch of numbers where their name should be. I've bookmarked the link to that website but I don't even want to look at it anymore because I cry every time I read the replies. I don't even know if I can ask a lawyer to help me. My family obviously won't pay for it and I only have a few thousand dollars.I read online that there are lawyers who might do this for free but how do I find them? | dk433d7 | dk46ksd | 1,499,854,984 | 1,499,862,321 | 35 | 73 | You are being manipulated. Crimes have been committed against you and your sister. Who cares if some wackos in Nebraska\Florida\Uruguay\Antarctica jerk off to some illicit videos they'll forget the next day. Blackmail is illegal; rape is illegal. It is them who have no integrity. | OK, I want to synthesize some of the info here: * Your sister was under 18 at the time of the attack. This elevates the crime, and the existence of video makes it violent child porn. Not only that, you are a witness that the video exists. * If you were under 18 when they attacked and videoed you, that is also child porn. Forcing you to say it was consensual doesn't magically make it so. If it was not, then it's revenge porn, which is **also** illegal in CA. Since you are worried about cultural issues, you can contact the Asian Pacific American Legal Center for help, in addition to RAINN. As others have noted - the state (as well as your parent's health insurance) has funds to help you get therapy and help for this. Also, once you go to university, they have help. If they have done this to your sister and you, and gone this far, they will do it to others. Please - you have the power to not only get help for your sister and yourself, but to save others from this. Edit: More resources can be found here. | 0 | 7,337 | 2.085714 |
6mrt2p | legaladvice_train | 0.79 | My grandfather kidnapped my pregnant twin sister to stop her from getting an abortion but now everybody has done a 180° turn. This is a throwaway account to protect our identities as much as possible but this does take place in the state of California. So a few months ago, my twin sister was raped after our high school graduation party. She's not in a good state of mind right now and is extremely angry at me because I was actually their target. I don't blame her in the slightest because the group of boys said my name a few times during the ordeal. My grandparents and parents are both extremely traditional people. They hold strong to their traditional Asian values of practically blind worship to the senior generation. My grandparents were extremely against the idea of abortion while my parents were on the fence but leaning towards my grandparents because of that respect towards the elder generation. Eventually, my grandfather found out that I was coordinating with my sister's best friend on how to get my sister to an abortion clinic. That night my grandfather kidnapped my sister and they were missing for almost a month before the police found them. My grandfather was trying to fly her to China. During that month, we discovered the identities of the rapists and we also have the semen samples from the rape kit as further evidence. I got in a rather heated exchange with several of the perpetrators but now I'm being threatened with both my and my sister's integrity. They realize that we can easily ruin their lives forever and send them to jail which is why they are threatening to release a video of the entire rape to the student body of the university that we will be attending after the summer. The group of boys dragged me into a room and molested me while forcing me to watch the video. I was forced to give one of them oral sex in order to keep them quiet about the video. I tried to keep a semen sample but they took it away. They didn't penetrate me and my hymen is still intact so I don't have any evidence to prove this happened the way that it did. They did video me doing everything and I was forced to say it was consensual. I'm sad I had to do this but I want to help my sister however much I can even if it's just to shut this group of boys up so that event isn't revealed. The entire incident has been kept very quiet because my parents insist that our momentary desire for vengeance is much less important than the stigma such an incident will cause if it becomes public. My sister hasn't said a single word and I'm very worried about her. She isn't mentally stable right now and while so far not suicidal, I am very worried. My grandfather has since returned but now after realizing that there is a high possibility of the father being black, he is insisting that she abort the baby. We just got back from the abortion clinic a few hours ago but they are refusing to help because my sister won't reply to anything that they say and that she isn't mentally sound. I don't know what to do and don't know who to talk to. My family wants to keep everything quiet. My sister has not said a single thing. She did yell at me for a few minutes but quickly stopped talking. It's been over a month since I last heard her voice. I don't know what to do! I should be an adult right? I'm already 18 but I don't feel like an adult. This whole thing feels like a guillotine hanging over our necks. How can I report those boys to the police without everything becoming public? They already said that if we take them down then they will take us down with them. One of them said he will help me if I have sex with him but I don't want to. What should I do about my family? Right now they are against everything that I think should be done and my sister has not replied to anything that we ask. I'm so angry! My grandfather kidnapped my sister causing everything to be delayed so long and now he has completely changed his point of view. First he was trying everything to prevent the abortion and now he is trying everything to force her into it. He even threatened me while holding a coat hanger because I pushed him away when he was trying to enter my sister's room. I also can't stop crying every time I hear my mom and dad regret having daughters. The reason I'm posting here is because I was hoping a lawyer could give me advice on what to do. I feel really alone right now. The group of rapists is threatening me from the front while my family isn't doing anything to help from the back. My sister is completely silent and I'm worried about her committing suicide even though she hasn't shown any intent to. Am I even in the right place? Can a lawyer even help me? I want to sue my family and get protective custody of my sister but can I even do this? My sister hasn't said a single word and has no response to anything that anyone asks. All she does is sit there. The only person who knows other than the related parties is my sister's best friend. Not even my best friend knows. Please help me. I don't care if my video goes public. I only want to prevent my sister's video from becoming public. The problem is that we are identical twins so either video becoming public would be bad for my sister. I tried fighting back against the group of boys but they responded by posting a short clip of my sister's video to this website and everybody on that website is showing crazy enthusiasm for it. I tried to use that to my advantage but nobody on that website has an account only a bunch of numbers where their name should be. I've bookmarked the link to that website but I don't even want to look at it anymore because I cry every time I read the replies. I don't even know if I can ask a lawyer to help me. My family obviously won't pay for it and I only have a few thousand dollars.I read online that there are lawyers who might do this for free but how do I find them? | dk46ksd | dk4624s | 1,499,862,321 | 1,499,861,430 | 73 | 37 | OK, I want to synthesize some of the info here: * Your sister was under 18 at the time of the attack. This elevates the crime, and the existence of video makes it violent child porn. Not only that, you are a witness that the video exists. * If you were under 18 when they attacked and videoed you, that is also child porn. Forcing you to say it was consensual doesn't magically make it so. If it was not, then it's revenge porn, which is **also** illegal in CA. Since you are worried about cultural issues, you can contact the Asian Pacific American Legal Center for help, in addition to RAINN. As others have noted - the state (as well as your parent's health insurance) has funds to help you get therapy and help for this. Also, once you go to university, they have help. If they have done this to your sister and you, and gone this far, they will do it to others. Please - you have the power to not only get help for your sister and yourself, but to save others from this. Edit: More resources can be found here. | I understand your cultural upbringing and how sheltered you are, but there's an entire infrastructure of civil servants out there designed to handle this stuff. Call the police. Just call the police. You don't need a lawyer right now, unless it's the DA's office. Once you've gotten the ball rolling with the police, you can hire a private attorney to sue for civil damages. | 1 | 891 | 1.972973 |
6mrt2p | legaladvice_train | 0.79 | My grandfather kidnapped my pregnant twin sister to stop her from getting an abortion but now everybody has done a 180° turn. This is a throwaway account to protect our identities as much as possible but this does take place in the state of California. So a few months ago, my twin sister was raped after our high school graduation party. She's not in a good state of mind right now and is extremely angry at me because I was actually their target. I don't blame her in the slightest because the group of boys said my name a few times during the ordeal. My grandparents and parents are both extremely traditional people. They hold strong to their traditional Asian values of practically blind worship to the senior generation. My grandparents were extremely against the idea of abortion while my parents were on the fence but leaning towards my grandparents because of that respect towards the elder generation. Eventually, my grandfather found out that I was coordinating with my sister's best friend on how to get my sister to an abortion clinic. That night my grandfather kidnapped my sister and they were missing for almost a month before the police found them. My grandfather was trying to fly her to China. During that month, we discovered the identities of the rapists and we also have the semen samples from the rape kit as further evidence. I got in a rather heated exchange with several of the perpetrators but now I'm being threatened with both my and my sister's integrity. They realize that we can easily ruin their lives forever and send them to jail which is why they are threatening to release a video of the entire rape to the student body of the university that we will be attending after the summer. The group of boys dragged me into a room and molested me while forcing me to watch the video. I was forced to give one of them oral sex in order to keep them quiet about the video. I tried to keep a semen sample but they took it away. They didn't penetrate me and my hymen is still intact so I don't have any evidence to prove this happened the way that it did. They did video me doing everything and I was forced to say it was consensual. I'm sad I had to do this but I want to help my sister however much I can even if it's just to shut this group of boys up so that event isn't revealed. The entire incident has been kept very quiet because my parents insist that our momentary desire for vengeance is much less important than the stigma such an incident will cause if it becomes public. My sister hasn't said a single word and I'm very worried about her. She isn't mentally stable right now and while so far not suicidal, I am very worried. My grandfather has since returned but now after realizing that there is a high possibility of the father being black, he is insisting that she abort the baby. We just got back from the abortion clinic a few hours ago but they are refusing to help because my sister won't reply to anything that they say and that she isn't mentally sound. I don't know what to do and don't know who to talk to. My family wants to keep everything quiet. My sister has not said a single thing. She did yell at me for a few minutes but quickly stopped talking. It's been over a month since I last heard her voice. I don't know what to do! I should be an adult right? I'm already 18 but I don't feel like an adult. This whole thing feels like a guillotine hanging over our necks. How can I report those boys to the police without everything becoming public? They already said that if we take them down then they will take us down with them. One of them said he will help me if I have sex with him but I don't want to. What should I do about my family? Right now they are against everything that I think should be done and my sister has not replied to anything that we ask. I'm so angry! My grandfather kidnapped my sister causing everything to be delayed so long and now he has completely changed his point of view. First he was trying everything to prevent the abortion and now he is trying everything to force her into it. He even threatened me while holding a coat hanger because I pushed him away when he was trying to enter my sister's room. I also can't stop crying every time I hear my mom and dad regret having daughters. The reason I'm posting here is because I was hoping a lawyer could give me advice on what to do. I feel really alone right now. The group of rapists is threatening me from the front while my family isn't doing anything to help from the back. My sister is completely silent and I'm worried about her committing suicide even though she hasn't shown any intent to. Am I even in the right place? Can a lawyer even help me? I want to sue my family and get protective custody of my sister but can I even do this? My sister hasn't said a single word and has no response to anything that anyone asks. All she does is sit there. The only person who knows other than the related parties is my sister's best friend. Not even my best friend knows. Please help me. I don't care if my video goes public. I only want to prevent my sister's video from becoming public. The problem is that we are identical twins so either video becoming public would be bad for my sister. I tried fighting back against the group of boys but they responded by posting a short clip of my sister's video to this website and everybody on that website is showing crazy enthusiasm for it. I tried to use that to my advantage but nobody on that website has an account only a bunch of numbers where their name should be. I've bookmarked the link to that website but I don't even want to look at it anymore because I cry every time I read the replies. I don't even know if I can ask a lawyer to help me. My family obviously won't pay for it and I only have a few thousand dollars.I read online that there are lawyers who might do this for free but how do I find them? | dk43akv | dk46ksd | 1,499,855,505 | 1,499,862,321 | 6 | 73 | You and your sister need to reclaim your lives. I am SO sorry that this happened to you both! In order to carry on and build lives for yourselves, you must close and then process this chapter of life. This will require the police, a legal process, and continued counseling. When this ugly chapter is closed you can continue to build what will be a long and happy life. You are 18, legally an adult. You are able to solve this now, with the police. Frankly it doesn't matter if your parents or grandparents support it (or are painfully clueless and avoidant, which is what it sounds like). Godspeed | OK, I want to synthesize some of the info here: * Your sister was under 18 at the time of the attack. This elevates the crime, and the existence of video makes it violent child porn. Not only that, you are a witness that the video exists. * If you were under 18 when they attacked and videoed you, that is also child porn. Forcing you to say it was consensual doesn't magically make it so. If it was not, then it's revenge porn, which is **also** illegal in CA. Since you are worried about cultural issues, you can contact the Asian Pacific American Legal Center for help, in addition to RAINN. As others have noted - the state (as well as your parent's health insurance) has funds to help you get therapy and help for this. Also, once you go to university, they have help. If they have done this to your sister and you, and gone this far, they will do it to others. Please - you have the power to not only get help for your sister and yourself, but to save others from this. Edit: More resources can be found here. | 0 | 6,816 | 12.166667 |
6mrt2p | legaladvice_train | 0.79 | My grandfather kidnapped my pregnant twin sister to stop her from getting an abortion but now everybody has done a 180° turn. This is a throwaway account to protect our identities as much as possible but this does take place in the state of California. So a few months ago, my twin sister was raped after our high school graduation party. She's not in a good state of mind right now and is extremely angry at me because I was actually their target. I don't blame her in the slightest because the group of boys said my name a few times during the ordeal. My grandparents and parents are both extremely traditional people. They hold strong to their traditional Asian values of practically blind worship to the senior generation. My grandparents were extremely against the idea of abortion while my parents were on the fence but leaning towards my grandparents because of that respect towards the elder generation. Eventually, my grandfather found out that I was coordinating with my sister's best friend on how to get my sister to an abortion clinic. That night my grandfather kidnapped my sister and they were missing for almost a month before the police found them. My grandfather was trying to fly her to China. During that month, we discovered the identities of the rapists and we also have the semen samples from the rape kit as further evidence. I got in a rather heated exchange with several of the perpetrators but now I'm being threatened with both my and my sister's integrity. They realize that we can easily ruin their lives forever and send them to jail which is why they are threatening to release a video of the entire rape to the student body of the university that we will be attending after the summer. The group of boys dragged me into a room and molested me while forcing me to watch the video. I was forced to give one of them oral sex in order to keep them quiet about the video. I tried to keep a semen sample but they took it away. They didn't penetrate me and my hymen is still intact so I don't have any evidence to prove this happened the way that it did. They did video me doing everything and I was forced to say it was consensual. I'm sad I had to do this but I want to help my sister however much I can even if it's just to shut this group of boys up so that event isn't revealed. The entire incident has been kept very quiet because my parents insist that our momentary desire for vengeance is much less important than the stigma such an incident will cause if it becomes public. My sister hasn't said a single word and I'm very worried about her. She isn't mentally stable right now and while so far not suicidal, I am very worried. My grandfather has since returned but now after realizing that there is a high possibility of the father being black, he is insisting that she abort the baby. We just got back from the abortion clinic a few hours ago but they are refusing to help because my sister won't reply to anything that they say and that she isn't mentally sound. I don't know what to do and don't know who to talk to. My family wants to keep everything quiet. My sister has not said a single thing. She did yell at me for a few minutes but quickly stopped talking. It's been over a month since I last heard her voice. I don't know what to do! I should be an adult right? I'm already 18 but I don't feel like an adult. This whole thing feels like a guillotine hanging over our necks. How can I report those boys to the police without everything becoming public? They already said that if we take them down then they will take us down with them. One of them said he will help me if I have sex with him but I don't want to. What should I do about my family? Right now they are against everything that I think should be done and my sister has not replied to anything that we ask. I'm so angry! My grandfather kidnapped my sister causing everything to be delayed so long and now he has completely changed his point of view. First he was trying everything to prevent the abortion and now he is trying everything to force her into it. He even threatened me while holding a coat hanger because I pushed him away when he was trying to enter my sister's room. I also can't stop crying every time I hear my mom and dad regret having daughters. The reason I'm posting here is because I was hoping a lawyer could give me advice on what to do. I feel really alone right now. The group of rapists is threatening me from the front while my family isn't doing anything to help from the back. My sister is completely silent and I'm worried about her committing suicide even though she hasn't shown any intent to. Am I even in the right place? Can a lawyer even help me? I want to sue my family and get protective custody of my sister but can I even do this? My sister hasn't said a single word and has no response to anything that anyone asks. All she does is sit there. The only person who knows other than the related parties is my sister's best friend. Not even my best friend knows. Please help me. I don't care if my video goes public. I only want to prevent my sister's video from becoming public. The problem is that we are identical twins so either video becoming public would be bad for my sister. I tried fighting back against the group of boys but they responded by posting a short clip of my sister's video to this website and everybody on that website is showing crazy enthusiasm for it. I tried to use that to my advantage but nobody on that website has an account only a bunch of numbers where their name should be. I've bookmarked the link to that website but I don't even want to look at it anymore because I cry every time I read the replies. I don't even know if I can ask a lawyer to help me. My family obviously won't pay for it and I only have a few thousand dollars.I read online that there are lawyers who might do this for free but how do I find them? | dk433d7 | dk4624s | 1,499,854,984 | 1,499,861,430 | 35 | 37 | You are being manipulated. Crimes have been committed against you and your sister. Who cares if some wackos in Nebraska\Florida\Uruguay\Antarctica jerk off to some illicit videos they'll forget the next day. Blackmail is illegal; rape is illegal. It is them who have no integrity. | I understand your cultural upbringing and how sheltered you are, but there's an entire infrastructure of civil servants out there designed to handle this stuff. Call the police. Just call the police. You don't need a lawyer right now, unless it's the DA's office. Once you've gotten the ball rolling with the police, you can hire a private attorney to sue for civil damages. | 0 | 6,446 | 1.057143 |
6mrt2p | legaladvice_train | 0.79 | My grandfather kidnapped my pregnant twin sister to stop her from getting an abortion but now everybody has done a 180° turn. This is a throwaway account to protect our identities as much as possible but this does take place in the state of California. So a few months ago, my twin sister was raped after our high school graduation party. She's not in a good state of mind right now and is extremely angry at me because I was actually their target. I don't blame her in the slightest because the group of boys said my name a few times during the ordeal. My grandparents and parents are both extremely traditional people. They hold strong to their traditional Asian values of practically blind worship to the senior generation. My grandparents were extremely against the idea of abortion while my parents were on the fence but leaning towards my grandparents because of that respect towards the elder generation. Eventually, my grandfather found out that I was coordinating with my sister's best friend on how to get my sister to an abortion clinic. That night my grandfather kidnapped my sister and they were missing for almost a month before the police found them. My grandfather was trying to fly her to China. During that month, we discovered the identities of the rapists and we also have the semen samples from the rape kit as further evidence. I got in a rather heated exchange with several of the perpetrators but now I'm being threatened with both my and my sister's integrity. They realize that we can easily ruin their lives forever and send them to jail which is why they are threatening to release a video of the entire rape to the student body of the university that we will be attending after the summer. The group of boys dragged me into a room and molested me while forcing me to watch the video. I was forced to give one of them oral sex in order to keep them quiet about the video. I tried to keep a semen sample but they took it away. They didn't penetrate me and my hymen is still intact so I don't have any evidence to prove this happened the way that it did. They did video me doing everything and I was forced to say it was consensual. I'm sad I had to do this but I want to help my sister however much I can even if it's just to shut this group of boys up so that event isn't revealed. The entire incident has been kept very quiet because my parents insist that our momentary desire for vengeance is much less important than the stigma such an incident will cause if it becomes public. My sister hasn't said a single word and I'm very worried about her. She isn't mentally stable right now and while so far not suicidal, I am very worried. My grandfather has since returned but now after realizing that there is a high possibility of the father being black, he is insisting that she abort the baby. We just got back from the abortion clinic a few hours ago but they are refusing to help because my sister won't reply to anything that they say and that she isn't mentally sound. I don't know what to do and don't know who to talk to. My family wants to keep everything quiet. My sister has not said a single thing. She did yell at me for a few minutes but quickly stopped talking. It's been over a month since I last heard her voice. I don't know what to do! I should be an adult right? I'm already 18 but I don't feel like an adult. This whole thing feels like a guillotine hanging over our necks. How can I report those boys to the police without everything becoming public? They already said that if we take them down then they will take us down with them. One of them said he will help me if I have sex with him but I don't want to. What should I do about my family? Right now they are against everything that I think should be done and my sister has not replied to anything that we ask. I'm so angry! My grandfather kidnapped my sister causing everything to be delayed so long and now he has completely changed his point of view. First he was trying everything to prevent the abortion and now he is trying everything to force her into it. He even threatened me while holding a coat hanger because I pushed him away when he was trying to enter my sister's room. I also can't stop crying every time I hear my mom and dad regret having daughters. The reason I'm posting here is because I was hoping a lawyer could give me advice on what to do. I feel really alone right now. The group of rapists is threatening me from the front while my family isn't doing anything to help from the back. My sister is completely silent and I'm worried about her committing suicide even though she hasn't shown any intent to. Am I even in the right place? Can a lawyer even help me? I want to sue my family and get protective custody of my sister but can I even do this? My sister hasn't said a single word and has no response to anything that anyone asks. All she does is sit there. The only person who knows other than the related parties is my sister's best friend. Not even my best friend knows. Please help me. I don't care if my video goes public. I only want to prevent my sister's video from becoming public. The problem is that we are identical twins so either video becoming public would be bad for my sister. I tried fighting back against the group of boys but they responded by posting a short clip of my sister's video to this website and everybody on that website is showing crazy enthusiasm for it. I tried to use that to my advantage but nobody on that website has an account only a bunch of numbers where their name should be. I've bookmarked the link to that website but I don't even want to look at it anymore because I cry every time I read the replies. I don't even know if I can ask a lawyer to help me. My family obviously won't pay for it and I only have a few thousand dollars.I read online that there are lawyers who might do this for free but how do I find them? | dk43akv | dk4624s | 1,499,855,505 | 1,499,861,430 | 6 | 37 | You and your sister need to reclaim your lives. I am SO sorry that this happened to you both! In order to carry on and build lives for yourselves, you must close and then process this chapter of life. This will require the police, a legal process, and continued counseling. When this ugly chapter is closed you can continue to build what will be a long and happy life. You are 18, legally an adult. You are able to solve this now, with the police. Frankly it doesn't matter if your parents or grandparents support it (or are painfully clueless and avoidant, which is what it sounds like). Godspeed | I understand your cultural upbringing and how sheltered you are, but there's an entire infrastructure of civil servants out there designed to handle this stuff. Call the police. Just call the police. You don't need a lawyer right now, unless it's the DA's office. Once you've gotten the ball rolling with the police, you can hire a private attorney to sue for civil damages. | 0 | 5,925 | 6.166667 |
6mrt2p | legaladvice_train | 0.79 | My grandfather kidnapped my pregnant twin sister to stop her from getting an abortion but now everybody has done a 180° turn. This is a throwaway account to protect our identities as much as possible but this does take place in the state of California. So a few months ago, my twin sister was raped after our high school graduation party. She's not in a good state of mind right now and is extremely angry at me because I was actually their target. I don't blame her in the slightest because the group of boys said my name a few times during the ordeal. My grandparents and parents are both extremely traditional people. They hold strong to their traditional Asian values of practically blind worship to the senior generation. My grandparents were extremely against the idea of abortion while my parents were on the fence but leaning towards my grandparents because of that respect towards the elder generation. Eventually, my grandfather found out that I was coordinating with my sister's best friend on how to get my sister to an abortion clinic. That night my grandfather kidnapped my sister and they were missing for almost a month before the police found them. My grandfather was trying to fly her to China. During that month, we discovered the identities of the rapists and we also have the semen samples from the rape kit as further evidence. I got in a rather heated exchange with several of the perpetrators but now I'm being threatened with both my and my sister's integrity. They realize that we can easily ruin their lives forever and send them to jail which is why they are threatening to release a video of the entire rape to the student body of the university that we will be attending after the summer. The group of boys dragged me into a room and molested me while forcing me to watch the video. I was forced to give one of them oral sex in order to keep them quiet about the video. I tried to keep a semen sample but they took it away. They didn't penetrate me and my hymen is still intact so I don't have any evidence to prove this happened the way that it did. They did video me doing everything and I was forced to say it was consensual. I'm sad I had to do this but I want to help my sister however much I can even if it's just to shut this group of boys up so that event isn't revealed. The entire incident has been kept very quiet because my parents insist that our momentary desire for vengeance is much less important than the stigma such an incident will cause if it becomes public. My sister hasn't said a single word and I'm very worried about her. She isn't mentally stable right now and while so far not suicidal, I am very worried. My grandfather has since returned but now after realizing that there is a high possibility of the father being black, he is insisting that she abort the baby. We just got back from the abortion clinic a few hours ago but they are refusing to help because my sister won't reply to anything that they say and that she isn't mentally sound. I don't know what to do and don't know who to talk to. My family wants to keep everything quiet. My sister has not said a single thing. She did yell at me for a few minutes but quickly stopped talking. It's been over a month since I last heard her voice. I don't know what to do! I should be an adult right? I'm already 18 but I don't feel like an adult. This whole thing feels like a guillotine hanging over our necks. How can I report those boys to the police without everything becoming public? They already said that if we take them down then they will take us down with them. One of them said he will help me if I have sex with him but I don't want to. What should I do about my family? Right now they are against everything that I think should be done and my sister has not replied to anything that we ask. I'm so angry! My grandfather kidnapped my sister causing everything to be delayed so long and now he has completely changed his point of view. First he was trying everything to prevent the abortion and now he is trying everything to force her into it. He even threatened me while holding a coat hanger because I pushed him away when he was trying to enter my sister's room. I also can't stop crying every time I hear my mom and dad regret having daughters. The reason I'm posting here is because I was hoping a lawyer could give me advice on what to do. I feel really alone right now. The group of rapists is threatening me from the front while my family isn't doing anything to help from the back. My sister is completely silent and I'm worried about her committing suicide even though she hasn't shown any intent to. Am I even in the right place? Can a lawyer even help me? I want to sue my family and get protective custody of my sister but can I even do this? My sister hasn't said a single word and has no response to anything that anyone asks. All she does is sit there. The only person who knows other than the related parties is my sister's best friend. Not even my best friend knows. Please help me. I don't care if my video goes public. I only want to prevent my sister's video from becoming public. The problem is that we are identical twins so either video becoming public would be bad for my sister. I tried fighting back against the group of boys but they responded by posting a short clip of my sister's video to this website and everybody on that website is showing crazy enthusiasm for it. I tried to use that to my advantage but nobody on that website has an account only a bunch of numbers where their name should be. I've bookmarked the link to that website but I don't even want to look at it anymore because I cry every time I read the replies. I don't even know if I can ask a lawyer to help me. My family obviously won't pay for it and I only have a few thousand dollars.I read online that there are lawyers who might do this for free but how do I find them? | dk46p47 | dk43akv | 1,499,862,519 | 1,499,855,505 | 19 | 6 | Honey, I'm so sorry for what both you and your sister has gone through. Words can not express how sad reading this made me, and my heart goes out to both of you. I'm not going to tell you that you have to go to the police. That's your choise, and your sisters choise. Going to the police is going to be difficult. It's going to open your wounds all over again and probably give you some brand new ones. I can understand if neither of you want to go through that right now, and just know that's ok. However, do **I** personally think you should go to the police, yes, I do. These men needs to be punished and there's a good possibility that neither you nor your sister are these vile mosters first victims, and probably not the last. That should be something you take into account. It's not about revenge, it's about justice, but it's also about trying to stop this from happening to some other young woman. What you *should* do, regardless of your choise to press charges, is to reach out to resources in your state that can help you and your sister mentally and emotionally. There are many organisations out there that will just help you deal with this, and if you do decide you want to press charges they will help you with that, and stand behind you as support, since your family seems to have abandoned you to your grief. It's also worth pointing out that "hymen" isn't a thing. You can't tell if someone is a virgin or has been raped or not just by looking at that. Your "intact hymen" wouldn't stand in the way of you being able to press charges. We don't live in the dark ages anymore. Also, them threatening to release those videos goes against their own best interest. They would be very, *very* foolish if they did, and if you have those threats in writing, I'd save those as evidence. ANY communication you have with these men needs to be saved in multiple places. You and your sister have nothing to be ashamed of.. You are victims, and you're rape survivors, and the people who needs to be ashamed and punished are the men that did this to you. I know that you're scared of what might happen, and that's understandable, but you're also brave and so, so sweet for protecting your sister, even if she can't feel the same right now. What she's been through is beyond horrific, so continue to stand by her and show her you love and support her as much as you can. Maybe write her a letter, and help her get in touch with people who will help her regain control of her emotions again. Just love her and support her as much as you can, but don't forget about yourself, and think on what course of action you want to take yourself. If you need *anything* from me, please let me know. If you need any one to talk to that is on the other side of the world and no one at home will know about, let me know and I'm right here. | You and your sister need to reclaim your lives. I am SO sorry that this happened to you both! In order to carry on and build lives for yourselves, you must close and then process this chapter of life. This will require the police, a legal process, and continued counseling. When this ugly chapter is closed you can continue to build what will be a long and happy life. You are 18, legally an adult. You are able to solve this now, with the police. Frankly it doesn't matter if your parents or grandparents support it (or are painfully clueless and avoidant, which is what it sounds like). Godspeed | 1 | 7,014 | 3.166667 |
6mrt2p | legaladvice_train | 0.79 | My grandfather kidnapped my pregnant twin sister to stop her from getting an abortion but now everybody has done a 180° turn. This is a throwaway account to protect our identities as much as possible but this does take place in the state of California. So a few months ago, my twin sister was raped after our high school graduation party. She's not in a good state of mind right now and is extremely angry at me because I was actually their target. I don't blame her in the slightest because the group of boys said my name a few times during the ordeal. My grandparents and parents are both extremely traditional people. They hold strong to their traditional Asian values of practically blind worship to the senior generation. My grandparents were extremely against the idea of abortion while my parents were on the fence but leaning towards my grandparents because of that respect towards the elder generation. Eventually, my grandfather found out that I was coordinating with my sister's best friend on how to get my sister to an abortion clinic. That night my grandfather kidnapped my sister and they were missing for almost a month before the police found them. My grandfather was trying to fly her to China. During that month, we discovered the identities of the rapists and we also have the semen samples from the rape kit as further evidence. I got in a rather heated exchange with several of the perpetrators but now I'm being threatened with both my and my sister's integrity. They realize that we can easily ruin their lives forever and send them to jail which is why they are threatening to release a video of the entire rape to the student body of the university that we will be attending after the summer. The group of boys dragged me into a room and molested me while forcing me to watch the video. I was forced to give one of them oral sex in order to keep them quiet about the video. I tried to keep a semen sample but they took it away. They didn't penetrate me and my hymen is still intact so I don't have any evidence to prove this happened the way that it did. They did video me doing everything and I was forced to say it was consensual. I'm sad I had to do this but I want to help my sister however much I can even if it's just to shut this group of boys up so that event isn't revealed. The entire incident has been kept very quiet because my parents insist that our momentary desire for vengeance is much less important than the stigma such an incident will cause if it becomes public. My sister hasn't said a single word and I'm very worried about her. She isn't mentally stable right now and while so far not suicidal, I am very worried. My grandfather has since returned but now after realizing that there is a high possibility of the father being black, he is insisting that she abort the baby. We just got back from the abortion clinic a few hours ago but they are refusing to help because my sister won't reply to anything that they say and that she isn't mentally sound. I don't know what to do and don't know who to talk to. My family wants to keep everything quiet. My sister has not said a single thing. She did yell at me for a few minutes but quickly stopped talking. It's been over a month since I last heard her voice. I don't know what to do! I should be an adult right? I'm already 18 but I don't feel like an adult. This whole thing feels like a guillotine hanging over our necks. How can I report those boys to the police without everything becoming public? They already said that if we take them down then they will take us down with them. One of them said he will help me if I have sex with him but I don't want to. What should I do about my family? Right now they are against everything that I think should be done and my sister has not replied to anything that we ask. I'm so angry! My grandfather kidnapped my sister causing everything to be delayed so long and now he has completely changed his point of view. First he was trying everything to prevent the abortion and now he is trying everything to force her into it. He even threatened me while holding a coat hanger because I pushed him away when he was trying to enter my sister's room. I also can't stop crying every time I hear my mom and dad regret having daughters. The reason I'm posting here is because I was hoping a lawyer could give me advice on what to do. I feel really alone right now. The group of rapists is threatening me from the front while my family isn't doing anything to help from the back. My sister is completely silent and I'm worried about her committing suicide even though she hasn't shown any intent to. Am I even in the right place? Can a lawyer even help me? I want to sue my family and get protective custody of my sister but can I even do this? My sister hasn't said a single word and has no response to anything that anyone asks. All she does is sit there. The only person who knows other than the related parties is my sister's best friend. Not even my best friend knows. Please help me. I don't care if my video goes public. I only want to prevent my sister's video from becoming public. The problem is that we are identical twins so either video becoming public would be bad for my sister. I tried fighting back against the group of boys but they responded by posting a short clip of my sister's video to this website and everybody on that website is showing crazy enthusiasm for it. I tried to use that to my advantage but nobody on that website has an account only a bunch of numbers where their name should be. I've bookmarked the link to that website but I don't even want to look at it anymore because I cry every time I read the replies. I don't even know if I can ask a lawyer to help me. My family obviously won't pay for it and I only have a few thousand dollars.I read online that there are lawyers who might do this for free but how do I find them? | dk43akv | dk47t21 | 1,499,855,505 | 1,499,864,286 | 6 | 15 | You and your sister need to reclaim your lives. I am SO sorry that this happened to you both! In order to carry on and build lives for yourselves, you must close and then process this chapter of life. This will require the police, a legal process, and continued counseling. When this ugly chapter is closed you can continue to build what will be a long and happy life. You are 18, legally an adult. You are able to solve this now, with the police. Frankly it doesn't matter if your parents or grandparents support it (or are painfully clueless and avoidant, which is what it sounds like). Godspeed | Wtf. Call the police. | 0 | 8,781 | 2.5 |
6mrt2p | legaladvice_train | 0.79 | My grandfather kidnapped my pregnant twin sister to stop her from getting an abortion but now everybody has done a 180° turn. This is a throwaway account to protect our identities as much as possible but this does take place in the state of California. So a few months ago, my twin sister was raped after our high school graduation party. She's not in a good state of mind right now and is extremely angry at me because I was actually their target. I don't blame her in the slightest because the group of boys said my name a few times during the ordeal. My grandparents and parents are both extremely traditional people. They hold strong to their traditional Asian values of practically blind worship to the senior generation. My grandparents were extremely against the idea of abortion while my parents were on the fence but leaning towards my grandparents because of that respect towards the elder generation. Eventually, my grandfather found out that I was coordinating with my sister's best friend on how to get my sister to an abortion clinic. That night my grandfather kidnapped my sister and they were missing for almost a month before the police found them. My grandfather was trying to fly her to China. During that month, we discovered the identities of the rapists and we also have the semen samples from the rape kit as further evidence. I got in a rather heated exchange with several of the perpetrators but now I'm being threatened with both my and my sister's integrity. They realize that we can easily ruin their lives forever and send them to jail which is why they are threatening to release a video of the entire rape to the student body of the university that we will be attending after the summer. The group of boys dragged me into a room and molested me while forcing me to watch the video. I was forced to give one of them oral sex in order to keep them quiet about the video. I tried to keep a semen sample but they took it away. They didn't penetrate me and my hymen is still intact so I don't have any evidence to prove this happened the way that it did. They did video me doing everything and I was forced to say it was consensual. I'm sad I had to do this but I want to help my sister however much I can even if it's just to shut this group of boys up so that event isn't revealed. The entire incident has been kept very quiet because my parents insist that our momentary desire for vengeance is much less important than the stigma such an incident will cause if it becomes public. My sister hasn't said a single word and I'm very worried about her. She isn't mentally stable right now and while so far not suicidal, I am very worried. My grandfather has since returned but now after realizing that there is a high possibility of the father being black, he is insisting that she abort the baby. We just got back from the abortion clinic a few hours ago but they are refusing to help because my sister won't reply to anything that they say and that she isn't mentally sound. I don't know what to do and don't know who to talk to. My family wants to keep everything quiet. My sister has not said a single thing. She did yell at me for a few minutes but quickly stopped talking. It's been over a month since I last heard her voice. I don't know what to do! I should be an adult right? I'm already 18 but I don't feel like an adult. This whole thing feels like a guillotine hanging over our necks. How can I report those boys to the police without everything becoming public? They already said that if we take them down then they will take us down with them. One of them said he will help me if I have sex with him but I don't want to. What should I do about my family? Right now they are against everything that I think should be done and my sister has not replied to anything that we ask. I'm so angry! My grandfather kidnapped my sister causing everything to be delayed so long and now he has completely changed his point of view. First he was trying everything to prevent the abortion and now he is trying everything to force her into it. He even threatened me while holding a coat hanger because I pushed him away when he was trying to enter my sister's room. I also can't stop crying every time I hear my mom and dad regret having daughters. The reason I'm posting here is because I was hoping a lawyer could give me advice on what to do. I feel really alone right now. The group of rapists is threatening me from the front while my family isn't doing anything to help from the back. My sister is completely silent and I'm worried about her committing suicide even though she hasn't shown any intent to. Am I even in the right place? Can a lawyer even help me? I want to sue my family and get protective custody of my sister but can I even do this? My sister hasn't said a single word and has no response to anything that anyone asks. All she does is sit there. The only person who knows other than the related parties is my sister's best friend. Not even my best friend knows. Please help me. I don't care if my video goes public. I only want to prevent my sister's video from becoming public. The problem is that we are identical twins so either video becoming public would be bad for my sister. I tried fighting back against the group of boys but they responded by posting a short clip of my sister's video to this website and everybody on that website is showing crazy enthusiasm for it. I tried to use that to my advantage but nobody on that website has an account only a bunch of numbers where their name should be. I've bookmarked the link to that website but I don't even want to look at it anymore because I cry every time I read the replies. I don't even know if I can ask a lawyer to help me. My family obviously won't pay for it and I only have a few thousand dollars.I read online that there are lawyers who might do this for free but how do I find them? | dk4c93n | dk48i3i | 1,499,870,011 | 1,499,865,307 | 5 | 4 | *Please* go to the police. These men have assaulted you both. They are blackmailing you. What's to stop them from doing this to someone else? What's to stop them from taking it even further? The authorities need to know how much of a risk they are, and you and your sister deserve to see your assailants tried. Your parents and grandparents weren't the ones raped - You two were. Ultimately, they have no say. | You need to report this to the police right away. There is no way to absolutely prevent this from becoming public, even if you don't report it. Do you really trust the people who raped you and your sister to not publicize the video if you cooperate? They will never be satisfied by your temporary cooperation. | 1 | 4,704 | 1.25 |
6mrt2p | legaladvice_train | 0.79 | My grandfather kidnapped my pregnant twin sister to stop her from getting an abortion but now everybody has done a 180° turn. This is a throwaway account to protect our identities as much as possible but this does take place in the state of California. So a few months ago, my twin sister was raped after our high school graduation party. She's not in a good state of mind right now and is extremely angry at me because I was actually their target. I don't blame her in the slightest because the group of boys said my name a few times during the ordeal. My grandparents and parents are both extremely traditional people. They hold strong to their traditional Asian values of practically blind worship to the senior generation. My grandparents were extremely against the idea of abortion while my parents were on the fence but leaning towards my grandparents because of that respect towards the elder generation. Eventually, my grandfather found out that I was coordinating with my sister's best friend on how to get my sister to an abortion clinic. That night my grandfather kidnapped my sister and they were missing for almost a month before the police found them. My grandfather was trying to fly her to China. During that month, we discovered the identities of the rapists and we also have the semen samples from the rape kit as further evidence. I got in a rather heated exchange with several of the perpetrators but now I'm being threatened with both my and my sister's integrity. They realize that we can easily ruin their lives forever and send them to jail which is why they are threatening to release a video of the entire rape to the student body of the university that we will be attending after the summer. The group of boys dragged me into a room and molested me while forcing me to watch the video. I was forced to give one of them oral sex in order to keep them quiet about the video. I tried to keep a semen sample but they took it away. They didn't penetrate me and my hymen is still intact so I don't have any evidence to prove this happened the way that it did. They did video me doing everything and I was forced to say it was consensual. I'm sad I had to do this but I want to help my sister however much I can even if it's just to shut this group of boys up so that event isn't revealed. The entire incident has been kept very quiet because my parents insist that our momentary desire for vengeance is much less important than the stigma such an incident will cause if it becomes public. My sister hasn't said a single word and I'm very worried about her. She isn't mentally stable right now and while so far not suicidal, I am very worried. My grandfather has since returned but now after realizing that there is a high possibility of the father being black, he is insisting that she abort the baby. We just got back from the abortion clinic a few hours ago but they are refusing to help because my sister won't reply to anything that they say and that she isn't mentally sound. I don't know what to do and don't know who to talk to. My family wants to keep everything quiet. My sister has not said a single thing. She did yell at me for a few minutes but quickly stopped talking. It's been over a month since I last heard her voice. I don't know what to do! I should be an adult right? I'm already 18 but I don't feel like an adult. This whole thing feels like a guillotine hanging over our necks. How can I report those boys to the police without everything becoming public? They already said that if we take them down then they will take us down with them. One of them said he will help me if I have sex with him but I don't want to. What should I do about my family? Right now they are against everything that I think should be done and my sister has not replied to anything that we ask. I'm so angry! My grandfather kidnapped my sister causing everything to be delayed so long and now he has completely changed his point of view. First he was trying everything to prevent the abortion and now he is trying everything to force her into it. He even threatened me while holding a coat hanger because I pushed him away when he was trying to enter my sister's room. I also can't stop crying every time I hear my mom and dad regret having daughters. The reason I'm posting here is because I was hoping a lawyer could give me advice on what to do. I feel really alone right now. The group of rapists is threatening me from the front while my family isn't doing anything to help from the back. My sister is completely silent and I'm worried about her committing suicide even though she hasn't shown any intent to. Am I even in the right place? Can a lawyer even help me? I want to sue my family and get protective custody of my sister but can I even do this? My sister hasn't said a single word and has no response to anything that anyone asks. All she does is sit there. The only person who knows other than the related parties is my sister's best friend. Not even my best friend knows. Please help me. I don't care if my video goes public. I only want to prevent my sister's video from becoming public. The problem is that we are identical twins so either video becoming public would be bad for my sister. I tried fighting back against the group of boys but they responded by posting a short clip of my sister's video to this website and everybody on that website is showing crazy enthusiasm for it. I tried to use that to my advantage but nobody on that website has an account only a bunch of numbers where their name should be. I've bookmarked the link to that website but I don't even want to look at it anymore because I cry every time I read the replies. I don't even know if I can ask a lawyer to help me. My family obviously won't pay for it and I only have a few thousand dollars.I read online that there are lawyers who might do this for free but how do I find them? | dk48i3i | dk4cwiq | 1,499,865,307 | 1,499,870,744 | 4 | 5 | You need to report this to the police right away. There is no way to absolutely prevent this from becoming public, even if you don't report it. Do you really trust the people who raped you and your sister to not publicize the video if you cooperate? They will never be satisfied by your temporary cooperation. | As long as the perpetrators think the video will keep you quiet, *they won't delete the evidence*. That's in your favor! So telling the police that there's video evidence should hopefully facilitate a search warrant. | 0 | 5,437 | 1.25 |
aa9v8o | legaladvice_train | 0.89 | Pregnant by my abuser whom I recently got a restraining order against. Do I legally have to inform him I’m getting an abortion? AZ - USA My boyfriend and I recently split up and he turned violent. I was granted a restraining order against him after court trials. Unfortunately I have found out I am pregnant by him. I am planning on getting an abortion and am completely fine with it, but I am wondering if I am legally obligated to inform him, and if I am how I go about doing so without violating the restraining order. | ecq38s7 | ecq351b | 1,545,999,995 | 1,545,999,875 | 1,124 | 105 | No, and for your safety I would never mention it to him. Godspeed, OP. | You don't have to. | 1 | 120 | 10.704762 |
aa9v8o | legaladvice_train | 0.89 | Pregnant by my abuser whom I recently got a restraining order against. Do I legally have to inform him I’m getting an abortion? AZ - USA My boyfriend and I recently split up and he turned violent. I was granted a restraining order against him after court trials. Unfortunately I have found out I am pregnant by him. I am planning on getting an abortion and am completely fine with it, but I am wondering if I am legally obligated to inform him, and if I am how I go about doing so without violating the restraining order. | ecq351b | ecqe9o5 | 1,545,999,875 | 1,546,009,616 | 105 | 421 | You don't have to. | You absolutely have zero legal obligation to tell him that the baby ever existed. You certainly aren't obligated to inform him of an abortion. In fact, I highly recommend you don't ever, EVER let him know anything. It is the best way to ensure your safety and well-being. Good luck! | 0 | 9,741 | 4.009524 |
aa9v8o | legaladvice_train | 0.89 | Pregnant by my abuser whom I recently got a restraining order against. Do I legally have to inform him I’m getting an abortion? AZ - USA My boyfriend and I recently split up and he turned violent. I was granted a restraining order against him after court trials. Unfortunately I have found out I am pregnant by him. I am planning on getting an abortion and am completely fine with it, but I am wondering if I am legally obligated to inform him, and if I am how I go about doing so without violating the restraining order. | ecqchl9 | ecqe9o5 | 1,546,008,351 | 1,546,009,616 | 66 | 421 | You are not legally required to inform him. https://family.findlaw.com/paternity/fathers-rights-and-abortion.html | You absolutely have zero legal obligation to tell him that the baby ever existed. You certainly aren't obligated to inform him of an abortion. In fact, I highly recommend you don't ever, EVER let him know anything. It is the best way to ensure your safety and well-being. Good luck! | 0 | 1,265 | 6.378788 |
aa9v8o | legaladvice_train | 0.89 | Pregnant by my abuser whom I recently got a restraining order against. Do I legally have to inform him I’m getting an abortion? AZ - USA My boyfriend and I recently split up and he turned violent. I was granted a restraining order against him after court trials. Unfortunately I have found out I am pregnant by him. I am planning on getting an abortion and am completely fine with it, but I am wondering if I am legally obligated to inform him, and if I am how I go about doing so without violating the restraining order. | ecqe9o5 | ecq7amq | 1,546,009,616 | 1,546,004,201 | 421 | 50 | You absolutely have zero legal obligation to tell him that the baby ever existed. You certainly aren't obligated to inform him of an abortion. In fact, I highly recommend you don't ever, EVER let him know anything. It is the best way to ensure your safety and well-being. Good luck! | Not at all. You do not need to provide any explanation to him at all. | 1 | 5,415 | 8.42 |
aa9v8o | legaladvice_train | 0.89 | Pregnant by my abuser whom I recently got a restraining order against. Do I legally have to inform him I’m getting an abortion? AZ - USA My boyfriend and I recently split up and he turned violent. I was granted a restraining order against him after court trials. Unfortunately I have found out I am pregnant by him. I am planning on getting an abortion and am completely fine with it, but I am wondering if I am legally obligated to inform him, and if I am how I go about doing so without violating the restraining order. | ecqgfa1 | ecq351b | 1,546,011,223 | 1,545,999,875 | 141 | 105 | There is no obligation for an adult to inform another adult of any private medical procedure. Legally even if you were married and wanted an abortion you would not have to tell him. The only situation in which you need to inform someone you want an abortion is when a minor requires one - in that case parental consent is needed. Do not contact this man. You don't owe him a thing. | You don't have to. | 1 | 11,348 | 1.342857 |
aa9v8o | legaladvice_train | 0.89 | Pregnant by my abuser whom I recently got a restraining order against. Do I legally have to inform him I’m getting an abortion? AZ - USA My boyfriend and I recently split up and he turned violent. I was granted a restraining order against him after court trials. Unfortunately I have found out I am pregnant by him. I am planning on getting an abortion and am completely fine with it, but I am wondering if I am legally obligated to inform him, and if I am how I go about doing so without violating the restraining order. | ecqchl9 | ecqgfa1 | 1,546,008,351 | 1,546,011,223 | 66 | 141 | You are not legally required to inform him. https://family.findlaw.com/paternity/fathers-rights-and-abortion.html | There is no obligation for an adult to inform another adult of any private medical procedure. Legally even if you were married and wanted an abortion you would not have to tell him. The only situation in which you need to inform someone you want an abortion is when a minor requires one - in that case parental consent is needed. Do not contact this man. You don't owe him a thing. | 0 | 2,872 | 2.136364 |
aa9v8o | legaladvice_train | 0.89 | Pregnant by my abuser whom I recently got a restraining order against. Do I legally have to inform him I’m getting an abortion? AZ - USA My boyfriend and I recently split up and he turned violent. I was granted a restraining order against him after court trials. Unfortunately I have found out I am pregnant by him. I am planning on getting an abortion and am completely fine with it, but I am wondering if I am legally obligated to inform him, and if I am how I go about doing so without violating the restraining order. | ecqgfa1 | ecq7amq | 1,546,011,223 | 1,546,004,201 | 141 | 50 | There is no obligation for an adult to inform another adult of any private medical procedure. Legally even if you were married and wanted an abortion you would not have to tell him. The only situation in which you need to inform someone you want an abortion is when a minor requires one - in that case parental consent is needed. Do not contact this man. You don't owe him a thing. | Not at all. You do not need to provide any explanation to him at all. | 1 | 7,022 | 2.82 |
aa9v8o | legaladvice_train | 0.89 | Pregnant by my abuser whom I recently got a restraining order against. Do I legally have to inform him I’m getting an abortion? AZ - USA My boyfriend and I recently split up and he turned violent. I was granted a restraining order against him after court trials. Unfortunately I have found out I am pregnant by him. I am planning on getting an abortion and am completely fine with it, but I am wondering if I am legally obligated to inform him, and if I am how I go about doing so without violating the restraining order. | ecqchl9 | ecq7amq | 1,546,008,351 | 1,546,004,201 | 66 | 50 | You are not legally required to inform him. https://family.findlaw.com/paternity/fathers-rights-and-abortion.html | Not at all. You do not need to provide any explanation to him at all. | 1 | 4,150 | 1.32 |
aa9v8o | legaladvice_train | 0.89 | Pregnant by my abuser whom I recently got a restraining order against. Do I legally have to inform him I’m getting an abortion? AZ - USA My boyfriend and I recently split up and he turned violent. I was granted a restraining order against him after court trials. Unfortunately I have found out I am pregnant by him. I am planning on getting an abortion and am completely fine with it, but I am wondering if I am legally obligated to inform him, and if I am how I go about doing so without violating the restraining order. | ecqmqk9 | ecq7amq | 1,546,015,789 | 1,546,004,201 | 65 | 50 | Get the abortion, and never mention it. Keep yourself safe. This is a necessary way to do it. He will manipulate this if he knows. | Not at all. You do not need to provide any explanation to him at all. | 1 | 11,588 | 1.3 |
aa9v8o | legaladvice_train | 0.89 | Pregnant by my abuser whom I recently got a restraining order against. Do I legally have to inform him I’m getting an abortion? AZ - USA My boyfriend and I recently split up and he turned violent. I was granted a restraining order against him after court trials. Unfortunately I have found out I am pregnant by him. I am planning on getting an abortion and am completely fine with it, but I am wondering if I am legally obligated to inform him, and if I am how I go about doing so without violating the restraining order. | ecqmqk9 | ecqkx7u | 1,546,015,789 | 1,546,014,489 | 65 | 37 | Get the abortion, and never mention it. Keep yourself safe. This is a necessary way to do it. He will manipulate this if he knows. | You do not have to tell him. Your medical care and medical procedures on your body are private and confidential. | 1 | 1,300 | 1.756757 |
aa9v8o | legaladvice_train | 0.89 | Pregnant by my abuser whom I recently got a restraining order against. Do I legally have to inform him I’m getting an abortion? AZ - USA My boyfriend and I recently split up and he turned violent. I was granted a restraining order against him after court trials. Unfortunately I have found out I am pregnant by him. I am planning on getting an abortion and am completely fine with it, but I am wondering if I am legally obligated to inform him, and if I am how I go about doing so without violating the restraining order. | ecq7amq | ecqrt43 | 1,546,004,201 | 1,546,019,557 | 50 | 63 | Not at all. You do not need to provide any explanation to him at all. | You could be happily married to a man and in love with them and still not obligated to tell him. A woman is not obligated to inform anybody of her medical decisions or conditions. An abortion is a private medical decision between you and your doctor. You do not have to tell anybody ever. | 0 | 15,356 | 1.26 |
aa9v8o | legaladvice_train | 0.89 | Pregnant by my abuser whom I recently got a restraining order against. Do I legally have to inform him I’m getting an abortion? AZ - USA My boyfriend and I recently split up and he turned violent. I was granted a restraining order against him after court trials. Unfortunately I have found out I am pregnant by him. I am planning on getting an abortion and am completely fine with it, but I am wondering if I am legally obligated to inform him, and if I am how I go about doing so without violating the restraining order. | ecqrt43 | ecqkx7u | 1,546,019,557 | 1,546,014,489 | 63 | 37 | You could be happily married to a man and in love with them and still not obligated to tell him. A woman is not obligated to inform anybody of her medical decisions or conditions. An abortion is a private medical decision between you and your doctor. You do not have to tell anybody ever. | You do not have to tell him. Your medical care and medical procedures on your body are private and confidential. | 1 | 5,068 | 1.702703 |
aa9v8o | legaladvice_train | 0.89 | Pregnant by my abuser whom I recently got a restraining order against. Do I legally have to inform him I’m getting an abortion? AZ - USA My boyfriend and I recently split up and he turned violent. I was granted a restraining order against him after court trials. Unfortunately I have found out I am pregnant by him. I am planning on getting an abortion and am completely fine with it, but I am wondering if I am legally obligated to inform him, and if I am how I go about doing so without violating the restraining order. | ecrh7ni | ecr4xag | 1,546,036,536 | 1,546,028,056 | 30 | 15 | Work in OBGYN. You do not have to tell him. And no, the clinic will not inform him or search him down to tell him. We only ask father’s info if you intend on keeping the child and for genetic issues only. So you’ll be able to get the procedure without either party aware of the other, and without any risk of the information being leaked. I highly recommend (while not legal advice) you do not have any statements mailed to a place he can reach them. | Not a lawyer in AZ and this is not to be construed in any way as legal advice by me. This issue appears to have been settled by Planned Parenthood vs. Casey 1992 US Supreme Court opinion which invalidated spousal notification requirements. Your situation is slightly different in that your former boyfriend was not your spouse, but I would suspect a boyfriend would have even fewer "rights" than a spouse. Good luck. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planned_Parenthood_v._Casey | 1 | 8,480 | 2 |
aa9v8o | legaladvice_train | 0.89 | Pregnant by my abuser whom I recently got a restraining order against. Do I legally have to inform him I’m getting an abortion? AZ - USA My boyfriend and I recently split up and he turned violent. I was granted a restraining order against him after court trials. Unfortunately I have found out I am pregnant by him. I am planning on getting an abortion and am completely fine with it, but I am wondering if I am legally obligated to inform him, and if I am how I go about doing so without violating the restraining order. | ecrh7ni | ecras7q | 1,546,036,536 | 1,546,031,747 | 30 | 16 | Work in OBGYN. You do not have to tell him. And no, the clinic will not inform him or search him down to tell him. We only ask father’s info if you intend on keeping the child and for genetic issues only. So you’ll be able to get the procedure without either party aware of the other, and without any risk of the information being leaked. I highly recommend (while not legal advice) you do not have any statements mailed to a place he can reach them. | If you are an adult you have zero obligation to inform anyone. Your body, your choice, your privacy. | 1 | 4,789 | 1.875 |
aa9v8o | legaladvice_train | 0.89 | Pregnant by my abuser whom I recently got a restraining order against. Do I legally have to inform him I’m getting an abortion? AZ - USA My boyfriend and I recently split up and he turned violent. I was granted a restraining order against him after court trials. Unfortunately I have found out I am pregnant by him. I am planning on getting an abortion and am completely fine with it, but I am wondering if I am legally obligated to inform him, and if I am how I go about doing so without violating the restraining order. | ecrh7ni | ecrdd8m | 1,546,036,536 | 1,546,033,601 | 30 | 14 | Work in OBGYN. You do not have to tell him. And no, the clinic will not inform him or search him down to tell him. We only ask father’s info if you intend on keeping the child and for genetic issues only. So you’ll be able to get the procedure without either party aware of the other, and without any risk of the information being leaked. I highly recommend (while not legal advice) you do not have any statements mailed to a place he can reach them. | You are under absolutely *no* obligation to inform anyone of any abortion or other medical procedure you have undergone - not even if you are *still* with your partner. I'm sorry to hear of your misfortune and hope that you are able to move on past these horrible circumstances. | 1 | 2,935 | 2.142857 |
aa9v8o | legaladvice_train | 0.89 | Pregnant by my abuser whom I recently got a restraining order against. Do I legally have to inform him I’m getting an abortion? AZ - USA My boyfriend and I recently split up and he turned violent. I was granted a restraining order against him after court trials. Unfortunately I have found out I am pregnant by him. I am planning on getting an abortion and am completely fine with it, but I am wondering if I am legally obligated to inform him, and if I am how I go about doing so without violating the restraining order. | ecr5885 | ecrh7ni | 1,546,028,232 | 1,546,036,536 | 10 | 30 | I wouldn’t think you need to say a word. If the clinic asks you say you don’t know who the father is. He deserves nothing from you imo. | Work in OBGYN. You do not have to tell him. And no, the clinic will not inform him or search him down to tell him. We only ask father’s info if you intend on keeping the child and for genetic issues only. So you’ll be able to get the procedure without either party aware of the other, and without any risk of the information being leaked. I highly recommend (while not legal advice) you do not have any statements mailed to a place he can reach them. | 0 | 8,304 | 3 |
aa9v8o | legaladvice_train | 0.89 | Pregnant by my abuser whom I recently got a restraining order against. Do I legally have to inform him I’m getting an abortion? AZ - USA My boyfriend and I recently split up and he turned violent. I was granted a restraining order against him after court trials. Unfortunately I have found out I am pregnant by him. I am planning on getting an abortion and am completely fine with it, but I am wondering if I am legally obligated to inform him, and if I am how I go about doing so without violating the restraining order. | ecras7q | ecr4xag | 1,546,031,747 | 1,546,028,056 | 16 | 15 | If you are an adult you have zero obligation to inform anyone. Your body, your choice, your privacy. | Not a lawyer in AZ and this is not to be construed in any way as legal advice by me. This issue appears to have been settled by Planned Parenthood vs. Casey 1992 US Supreme Court opinion which invalidated spousal notification requirements. Your situation is slightly different in that your former boyfriend was not your spouse, but I would suspect a boyfriend would have even fewer "rights" than a spouse. Good luck. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planned_Parenthood_v._Casey | 1 | 3,691 | 1.066667 |
aa9v8o | legaladvice_train | 0.89 | Pregnant by my abuser whom I recently got a restraining order against. Do I legally have to inform him I’m getting an abortion? AZ - USA My boyfriend and I recently split up and he turned violent. I was granted a restraining order against him after court trials. Unfortunately I have found out I am pregnant by him. I am planning on getting an abortion and am completely fine with it, but I am wondering if I am legally obligated to inform him, and if I am how I go about doing so without violating the restraining order. | ecras7q | ecr5885 | 1,546,031,747 | 1,546,028,232 | 16 | 10 | If you are an adult you have zero obligation to inform anyone. Your body, your choice, your privacy. | I wouldn’t think you need to say a word. If the clinic asks you say you don’t know who the father is. He deserves nothing from you imo. | 1 | 3,515 | 1.6 |
aa9v8o | legaladvice_train | 0.89 | Pregnant by my abuser whom I recently got a restraining order against. Do I legally have to inform him I’m getting an abortion? AZ - USA My boyfriend and I recently split up and he turned violent. I was granted a restraining order against him after court trials. Unfortunately I have found out I am pregnant by him. I am planning on getting an abortion and am completely fine with it, but I am wondering if I am legally obligated to inform him, and if I am how I go about doing so without violating the restraining order. | ecr5885 | ecrdd8m | 1,546,028,232 | 1,546,033,601 | 10 | 14 | I wouldn’t think you need to say a word. If the clinic asks you say you don’t know who the father is. He deserves nothing from you imo. | You are under absolutely *no* obligation to inform anyone of any abortion or other medical procedure you have undergone - not even if you are *still* with your partner. I'm sorry to hear of your misfortune and hope that you are able to move on past these horrible circumstances. | 0 | 5,369 | 1.4 |
os1sdi | legaladvice_train | 0.91 | Pregnant wife told waitress, “mushroom allergy” but we found mushroom in her omelette. She ended up needing epi administered by an ambulance and spent 4 hours recovering at the ER. She wants to, should we sue? | h6lqtbd | h6lz36e | 1,627,317,730 | 1,627,321,287 | 1,037 | 4,460 | Cross-contamination is common in restaurants. To successfully sue you will need to prove that they were negligent in a duty to *prevent* your wife from coming in contact with mushrooms after she communicated the allergy. The laws I have been able to locate for the United States are state-dependent and mostly cover allergen warning communication (posters etc), not liability. https://www.foodallergy.org/resources/food-allergies-and-restaurants | What damages are you suing for? If it’s for costs associated with an ambulance and anything not covered by insurance I would bring the bills to the restaurant. They might just cover the cost and save you a headache of suing. If they say no, and the costs are less than your small claims limit, I think your best bet is small claims court. | 0 | 3,557 | 4.300868 |
os1sdi | legaladvice_train | 0.91 | Pregnant wife told waitress, “mushroom allergy” but we found mushroom in her omelette. She ended up needing epi administered by an ambulance and spent 4 hours recovering at the ER. She wants to, should we sue? | h6lnvs5 | h6lz36e | 1,627,316,456 | 1,627,321,287 | 495 | 4,460 | What's the location? What are your OOP costs? | What damages are you suing for? If it’s for costs associated with an ambulance and anything not covered by insurance I would bring the bills to the restaurant. They might just cover the cost and save you a headache of suing. If they say no, and the costs are less than your small claims limit, I think your best bet is small claims court. | 0 | 4,831 | 9.010101 |
os1sdi | legaladvice_train | 0.91 | Pregnant wife told waitress, “mushroom allergy” but we found mushroom in her omelette. She ended up needing epi administered by an ambulance and spent 4 hours recovering at the ER. She wants to, should we sue? | h6lz36e | h6lnxgh | 1,627,321,287 | 1,627,316,476 | 4,460 | 250 | What damages are you suing for? If it’s for costs associated with an ambulance and anything not covered by insurance I would bring the bills to the restaurant. They might just cover the cost and save you a headache of suing. If they say no, and the costs are less than your small claims limit, I think your best bet is small claims court. | I would contact the local health department first. The problem is that most of your damages would be covered by insurance, so you may not have enough for a lawyer to sue for. However, small claims is also a viable option. | 1 | 4,811 | 17.84 |
os1sdi | legaladvice_train | 0.91 | Pregnant wife told waitress, “mushroom allergy” but we found mushroom in her omelette. She ended up needing epi administered by an ambulance and spent 4 hours recovering at the ER. She wants to, should we sue? | h6lnvs5 | h6lqtbd | 1,627,316,456 | 1,627,317,730 | 495 | 1,037 | What's the location? What are your OOP costs? | Cross-contamination is common in restaurants. To successfully sue you will need to prove that they were negligent in a duty to *prevent* your wife from coming in contact with mushrooms after she communicated the allergy. The laws I have been able to locate for the United States are state-dependent and mostly cover allergen warning communication (posters etc), not liability. https://www.foodallergy.org/resources/food-allergies-and-restaurants | 0 | 1,274 | 2.094949 |
os1sdi | legaladvice_train | 0.91 | Pregnant wife told waitress, “mushroom allergy” but we found mushroom in her omelette. She ended up needing epi administered by an ambulance and spent 4 hours recovering at the ER. She wants to, should we sue? | h6lnxgh | h6lqtbd | 1,627,316,476 | 1,627,317,730 | 250 | 1,037 | I would contact the local health department first. The problem is that most of your damages would be covered by insurance, so you may not have enough for a lawyer to sue for. However, small claims is also a viable option. | Cross-contamination is common in restaurants. To successfully sue you will need to prove that they were negligent in a duty to *prevent* your wife from coming in contact with mushrooms after she communicated the allergy. The laws I have been able to locate for the United States are state-dependent and mostly cover allergen warning communication (posters etc), not liability. https://www.foodallergy.org/resources/food-allergies-and-restaurants | 0 | 1,254 | 4.148 |
os1sdi | legaladvice_train | 0.91 | Pregnant wife told waitress, “mushroom allergy” but we found mushroom in her omelette. She ended up needing epi administered by an ambulance and spent 4 hours recovering at the ER. She wants to, should we sue? | h6mc8gb | h6lnvs5 | 1,627,327,014 | 1,627,316,456 | 532 | 495 | I am a lawyer. I am not your lawyer. Consult a lawyer in your jurisdiction. This isn't a big money case unless, for example, your wife miscarried because of the anaphylaxis. I would say that the restaurant had a general duty to serve safe food. You communicated to the server the allergy. If the restaurant couldn't safely serve you an omelette, then they had to say so or offer an alternative. They breached their duty by serving an omelette with a mushroom in it. The breach proximately caused damages (anaphylaxis, emergency care). My biggest concern would be proving you told the restaurant about the allergy. Liers gonna lie. The server might swear under oath you never said a word about it. Witnesses? But let's assume the server admits and says she told the cook, or it's on the ticket or something. Get a lawyer and have them send a demand letter. If the medical expenses were, say, $5000, the lawyer will probably ask for $15-$25k. It will go to the restaurants insurance and they will likely pay it. The lawyer will take 1/3, the medical bills will get paid, and you'll get $5000-$10000 for your troubles. | What's the location? What are your OOP costs? | 1 | 10,558 | 1.074747 |
os1sdi | legaladvice_train | 0.91 | Pregnant wife told waitress, “mushroom allergy” but we found mushroom in her omelette. She ended up needing epi administered by an ambulance and spent 4 hours recovering at the ER. She wants to, should we sue? | h6lnxgh | h6mc8gb | 1,627,316,476 | 1,627,327,014 | 250 | 532 | I would contact the local health department first. The problem is that most of your damages would be covered by insurance, so you may not have enough for a lawyer to sue for. However, small claims is also a viable option. | I am a lawyer. I am not your lawyer. Consult a lawyer in your jurisdiction. This isn't a big money case unless, for example, your wife miscarried because of the anaphylaxis. I would say that the restaurant had a general duty to serve safe food. You communicated to the server the allergy. If the restaurant couldn't safely serve you an omelette, then they had to say so or offer an alternative. They breached their duty by serving an omelette with a mushroom in it. The breach proximately caused damages (anaphylaxis, emergency care). My biggest concern would be proving you told the restaurant about the allergy. Liers gonna lie. The server might swear under oath you never said a word about it. Witnesses? But let's assume the server admits and says she told the cook, or it's on the ticket or something. Get a lawyer and have them send a demand letter. If the medical expenses were, say, $5000, the lawyer will probably ask for $15-$25k. It will go to the restaurants insurance and they will likely pay it. The lawyer will take 1/3, the medical bills will get paid, and you'll get $5000-$10000 for your troubles. | 0 | 10,538 | 2.128 |
os1sdi | legaladvice_train | 0.91 | Pregnant wife told waitress, “mushroom allergy” but we found mushroom in her omelette. She ended up needing epi administered by an ambulance and spent 4 hours recovering at the ER. She wants to, should we sue? | h6mc8gb | h6m814v | 1,627,327,014 | 1,627,325,173 | 532 | 193 | I am a lawyer. I am not your lawyer. Consult a lawyer in your jurisdiction. This isn't a big money case unless, for example, your wife miscarried because of the anaphylaxis. I would say that the restaurant had a general duty to serve safe food. You communicated to the server the allergy. If the restaurant couldn't safely serve you an omelette, then they had to say so or offer an alternative. They breached their duty by serving an omelette with a mushroom in it. The breach proximately caused damages (anaphylaxis, emergency care). My biggest concern would be proving you told the restaurant about the allergy. Liers gonna lie. The server might swear under oath you never said a word about it. Witnesses? But let's assume the server admits and says she told the cook, or it's on the ticket or something. Get a lawyer and have them send a demand letter. If the medical expenses were, say, $5000, the lawyer will probably ask for $15-$25k. It will go to the restaurants insurance and they will likely pay it. The lawyer will take 1/3, the medical bills will get paid, and you'll get $5000-$10000 for your troubles. | What did the restaurant do when you told them? | 1 | 1,841 | 2.756477 |
9h5m6p | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | A few of the managers at my job have been sexually harassing me all year. I’ve documented it since the beginning of the month but I’m beginning to wonder if it’s even worth addressing since I’m a (large, black) male and they’re all white women (Missouri) Here’s the copy&paste of the documentations I’ve made in my phone since September 1 and all the names have been changed to fake ones; times are approximate: September 1, 2018 at 16:00- Sam sends me 5 pictures of her posing in her bathing suit (I still have those messages on my phone) September 2nd, 2018 at 13:20- Christie hugs me from behind at the customer service desk and brushes her hands over my crotch in front of customers. September 2nd, 2018 at 19:10- Christie smacks my butt while I’m bending over to pick up a box that she specifically called me and asked me to come move. September 2nd, 2018 at 23:00- Christie blocks me from walking out of the store until I give her a hug. She buries her face in my neck and sniffs me and tells me I smell really good. September 3rd, 2018 at 14:00- Christie and Sam sit in the break room with me while I’m on a lunch break and talk to me about their past sexual experiences and ask me about mine and the size of my penis September 4, 2018 at 21:00- Ashley comes up behind me while I’m tying to write a contract for a customer who’s waiting at the customer service desk and starts rubbing the back of my neck. I pull forward to get away and she keeps rubbing. I repeat, “can you not?” Multiple times until she stops. Shannon was there and witnessed all of this. September 8, 2018 at 09:00- Sam walks up behind me and grabs my arm and holds onto me all the way from receiving to my desk (this is about a 40 yard walk) September 13, 2018 at 01:45- Sam sends pictures of “her dirty sink” with her clearly standing in the mirror in nothing but her underwear (messages still on my phone) September 14, 2018 at 15:00- Christie gets my phone number from work and texts me out of the blue telling me she’s lonely and that I’m invited over and sends me her address (messages still on my phone) September 17, 2018 at 22:00- Ashley and Christie come to my desk and rub my arms and say they’re “hot”. This lasts for about 3 minutes September 19, 2018 at 08:30- Sam straight up tells me she “really needs a fuck buddy” then hugs me and buries her face in my chest and asks me to be there for her in her time of need. _________________________________________________ And that kind of stuff has been going on all year. After what Sam said earlier, it made me think I should finally tell someone about this but I’m wondering if it’s just be a situation where this ends badly for me. | e69imxc | e699bd8 | 1,537,375,387 | 1,537,367,742 | 1,210 | 725 | Many commenters here are suggesting that you go to HR and then if things don't get better find a lawyer. It might be worth your time to have a consultation with a lawyer BEFORE going to HR. I hate to bring up the old cliche, "HR is to protect the employer, not the employee," but it really is true. If you are in a situation to afford an hour of an attorney's time or can find a competent attorney who will give you a free consult, you might be able to strategize with an attorney to maximize the effectiveness of the conversation and make sure you don't say/do anything that might shoot yourself in the foot. Like you mentioned, you're a guy and you're up against societal expectations here, so having your ducks in a row is even more important. This sucks, man. I'm really sorry. | What size employer do you work for? Certainly, some of this could be read to be a pattern of harassment. Additionally, some of this might possibly rise to the level of sexual assault although the reality of the situation is that for a man, you might be facing an uphill battle to prove that. Your best bet is to report this internally to your HR, or call you corporate office if you are in a satellite office/store, while you begin looking for other employment. You need to continue to clearly demonstrate that this is unwanted behavior and they are ignoring your boundaries, and report up the chain every time it happens. Legally, you can pursue harassment reports with the police and that would strengthen any case you are trying to make with HR. But if you do something like this, you should be prepared to lose your job in one form or another. Yes, that would be illegal retaliation, but that doesn't stop people from doing it. | 1 | 7,645 | 1.668966 |
9h5m6p | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | A few of the managers at my job have been sexually harassing me all year. I’ve documented it since the beginning of the month but I’m beginning to wonder if it’s even worth addressing since I’m a (large, black) male and they’re all white women (Missouri) Here’s the copy&paste of the documentations I’ve made in my phone since September 1 and all the names have been changed to fake ones; times are approximate: September 1, 2018 at 16:00- Sam sends me 5 pictures of her posing in her bathing suit (I still have those messages on my phone) September 2nd, 2018 at 13:20- Christie hugs me from behind at the customer service desk and brushes her hands over my crotch in front of customers. September 2nd, 2018 at 19:10- Christie smacks my butt while I’m bending over to pick up a box that she specifically called me and asked me to come move. September 2nd, 2018 at 23:00- Christie blocks me from walking out of the store until I give her a hug. She buries her face in my neck and sniffs me and tells me I smell really good. September 3rd, 2018 at 14:00- Christie and Sam sit in the break room with me while I’m on a lunch break and talk to me about their past sexual experiences and ask me about mine and the size of my penis September 4, 2018 at 21:00- Ashley comes up behind me while I’m tying to write a contract for a customer who’s waiting at the customer service desk and starts rubbing the back of my neck. I pull forward to get away and she keeps rubbing. I repeat, “can you not?” Multiple times until she stops. Shannon was there and witnessed all of this. September 8, 2018 at 09:00- Sam walks up behind me and grabs my arm and holds onto me all the way from receiving to my desk (this is about a 40 yard walk) September 13, 2018 at 01:45- Sam sends pictures of “her dirty sink” with her clearly standing in the mirror in nothing but her underwear (messages still on my phone) September 14, 2018 at 15:00- Christie gets my phone number from work and texts me out of the blue telling me she’s lonely and that I’m invited over and sends me her address (messages still on my phone) September 17, 2018 at 22:00- Ashley and Christie come to my desk and rub my arms and say they’re “hot”. This lasts for about 3 minutes September 19, 2018 at 08:30- Sam straight up tells me she “really needs a fuck buddy” then hugs me and buries her face in my chest and asks me to be there for her in her time of need. _________________________________________________ And that kind of stuff has been going on all year. After what Sam said earlier, it made me think I should finally tell someone about this but I’m wondering if it’s just be a situation where this ends badly for me. | e69helw | e69imxc | 1,537,374,399 | 1,537,375,387 | 222 | 1,210 | This is 100% classic sexual harassment. You can and should report it. I'd be surprised if you don't have workplace policy directly addressing what to do. If you aren't comfortable going to local HR, see if you can find someone at corporate HR you can report this to. By law, this should be investigated and they should not retaliate against you. That's not to say it won't happen. But, this is so blatant it's ridiculous. | Many commenters here are suggesting that you go to HR and then if things don't get better find a lawyer. It might be worth your time to have a consultation with a lawyer BEFORE going to HR. I hate to bring up the old cliche, "HR is to protect the employer, not the employee," but it really is true. If you are in a situation to afford an hour of an attorney's time or can find a competent attorney who will give you a free consult, you might be able to strategize with an attorney to maximize the effectiveness of the conversation and make sure you don't say/do anything that might shoot yourself in the foot. Like you mentioned, you're a guy and you're up against societal expectations here, so having your ducks in a row is even more important. This sucks, man. I'm really sorry. | 0 | 988 | 5.45045 |
9h5m6p | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | A few of the managers at my job have been sexually harassing me all year. I’ve documented it since the beginning of the month but I’m beginning to wonder if it’s even worth addressing since I’m a (large, black) male and they’re all white women (Missouri) Here’s the copy&paste of the documentations I’ve made in my phone since September 1 and all the names have been changed to fake ones; times are approximate: September 1, 2018 at 16:00- Sam sends me 5 pictures of her posing in her bathing suit (I still have those messages on my phone) September 2nd, 2018 at 13:20- Christie hugs me from behind at the customer service desk and brushes her hands over my crotch in front of customers. September 2nd, 2018 at 19:10- Christie smacks my butt while I’m bending over to pick up a box that she specifically called me and asked me to come move. September 2nd, 2018 at 23:00- Christie blocks me from walking out of the store until I give her a hug. She buries her face in my neck and sniffs me and tells me I smell really good. September 3rd, 2018 at 14:00- Christie and Sam sit in the break room with me while I’m on a lunch break and talk to me about their past sexual experiences and ask me about mine and the size of my penis September 4, 2018 at 21:00- Ashley comes up behind me while I’m tying to write a contract for a customer who’s waiting at the customer service desk and starts rubbing the back of my neck. I pull forward to get away and she keeps rubbing. I repeat, “can you not?” Multiple times until she stops. Shannon was there and witnessed all of this. September 8, 2018 at 09:00- Sam walks up behind me and grabs my arm and holds onto me all the way from receiving to my desk (this is about a 40 yard walk) September 13, 2018 at 01:45- Sam sends pictures of “her dirty sink” with her clearly standing in the mirror in nothing but her underwear (messages still on my phone) September 14, 2018 at 15:00- Christie gets my phone number from work and texts me out of the blue telling me she’s lonely and that I’m invited over and sends me her address (messages still on my phone) September 17, 2018 at 22:00- Ashley and Christie come to my desk and rub my arms and say they’re “hot”. This lasts for about 3 minutes September 19, 2018 at 08:30- Sam straight up tells me she “really needs a fuck buddy” then hugs me and buries her face in my chest and asks me to be there for her in her time of need. _________________________________________________ And that kind of stuff has been going on all year. After what Sam said earlier, it made me think I should finally tell someone about this but I’m wondering if it’s just be a situation where this ends badly for me. | e69imxc | e69a4m7 | 1,537,375,387 | 1,537,368,425 | 1,210 | 15 | Many commenters here are suggesting that you go to HR and then if things don't get better find a lawyer. It might be worth your time to have a consultation with a lawyer BEFORE going to HR. I hate to bring up the old cliche, "HR is to protect the employer, not the employee," but it really is true. If you are in a situation to afford an hour of an attorney's time or can find a competent attorney who will give you a free consult, you might be able to strategize with an attorney to maximize the effectiveness of the conversation and make sure you don't say/do anything that might shoot yourself in the foot. Like you mentioned, you're a guy and you're up against societal expectations here, so having your ducks in a row is even more important. This sucks, man. I'm really sorry. | Well that certainly sounds like sexual harassment. I would make a best effort attempt to report the behavior of these individuals to someone in management or HR and ask that they be talked to and that these unwelcome advances at work from managers stop. You might go in with your phone recording audio and explain that you need to talk to them about some behavior from certain managers that you feel is sexual harassment, state the date, and ask if it's okay to record the conversation. If they say no, turn the recording off - Missouri is a two-party consent state. If this "ends badly", as in you get fired or you get accused of being the one making the advances or something, go to an employment lawyer. If reporting doesn't stop the behavior, make a further report. The point is to show that you are trying to get the employer to stop the behavior of a few badly behaving employees. If that doesn't work, go to an employment lawyer. | 1 | 6,962 | 80.666667 |
9h5m6p | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | A few of the managers at my job have been sexually harassing me all year. I’ve documented it since the beginning of the month but I’m beginning to wonder if it’s even worth addressing since I’m a (large, black) male and they’re all white women (Missouri) Here’s the copy&paste of the documentations I’ve made in my phone since September 1 and all the names have been changed to fake ones; times are approximate: September 1, 2018 at 16:00- Sam sends me 5 pictures of her posing in her bathing suit (I still have those messages on my phone) September 2nd, 2018 at 13:20- Christie hugs me from behind at the customer service desk and brushes her hands over my crotch in front of customers. September 2nd, 2018 at 19:10- Christie smacks my butt while I’m bending over to pick up a box that she specifically called me and asked me to come move. September 2nd, 2018 at 23:00- Christie blocks me from walking out of the store until I give her a hug. She buries her face in my neck and sniffs me and tells me I smell really good. September 3rd, 2018 at 14:00- Christie and Sam sit in the break room with me while I’m on a lunch break and talk to me about their past sexual experiences and ask me about mine and the size of my penis September 4, 2018 at 21:00- Ashley comes up behind me while I’m tying to write a contract for a customer who’s waiting at the customer service desk and starts rubbing the back of my neck. I pull forward to get away and she keeps rubbing. I repeat, “can you not?” Multiple times until she stops. Shannon was there and witnessed all of this. September 8, 2018 at 09:00- Sam walks up behind me and grabs my arm and holds onto me all the way from receiving to my desk (this is about a 40 yard walk) September 13, 2018 at 01:45- Sam sends pictures of “her dirty sink” with her clearly standing in the mirror in nothing but her underwear (messages still on my phone) September 14, 2018 at 15:00- Christie gets my phone number from work and texts me out of the blue telling me she’s lonely and that I’m invited over and sends me her address (messages still on my phone) September 17, 2018 at 22:00- Ashley and Christie come to my desk and rub my arms and say they’re “hot”. This lasts for about 3 minutes September 19, 2018 at 08:30- Sam straight up tells me she “really needs a fuck buddy” then hugs me and buries her face in my chest and asks me to be there for her in her time of need. _________________________________________________ And that kind of stuff has been going on all year. After what Sam said earlier, it made me think I should finally tell someone about this but I’m wondering if it’s just be a situation where this ends badly for me. | e69helw | e69a4m7 | 1,537,374,399 | 1,537,368,425 | 222 | 15 | This is 100% classic sexual harassment. You can and should report it. I'd be surprised if you don't have workplace policy directly addressing what to do. If you aren't comfortable going to local HR, see if you can find someone at corporate HR you can report this to. By law, this should be investigated and they should not retaliate against you. That's not to say it won't happen. But, this is so blatant it's ridiculous. | Well that certainly sounds like sexual harassment. I would make a best effort attempt to report the behavior of these individuals to someone in management or HR and ask that they be talked to and that these unwelcome advances at work from managers stop. You might go in with your phone recording audio and explain that you need to talk to them about some behavior from certain managers that you feel is sexual harassment, state the date, and ask if it's okay to record the conversation. If they say no, turn the recording off - Missouri is a two-party consent state. If this "ends badly", as in you get fired or you get accused of being the one making the advances or something, go to an employment lawyer. If reporting doesn't stop the behavior, make a further report. The point is to show that you are trying to get the employer to stop the behavior of a few badly behaving employees. If that doesn't work, go to an employment lawyer. | 1 | 5,974 | 14.8 |
9h5m6p | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | A few of the managers at my job have been sexually harassing me all year. I’ve documented it since the beginning of the month but I’m beginning to wonder if it’s even worth addressing since I’m a (large, black) male and they’re all white women (Missouri) Here’s the copy&paste of the documentations I’ve made in my phone since September 1 and all the names have been changed to fake ones; times are approximate: September 1, 2018 at 16:00- Sam sends me 5 pictures of her posing in her bathing suit (I still have those messages on my phone) September 2nd, 2018 at 13:20- Christie hugs me from behind at the customer service desk and brushes her hands over my crotch in front of customers. September 2nd, 2018 at 19:10- Christie smacks my butt while I’m bending over to pick up a box that she specifically called me and asked me to come move. September 2nd, 2018 at 23:00- Christie blocks me from walking out of the store until I give her a hug. She buries her face in my neck and sniffs me and tells me I smell really good. September 3rd, 2018 at 14:00- Christie and Sam sit in the break room with me while I’m on a lunch break and talk to me about their past sexual experiences and ask me about mine and the size of my penis September 4, 2018 at 21:00- Ashley comes up behind me while I’m tying to write a contract for a customer who’s waiting at the customer service desk and starts rubbing the back of my neck. I pull forward to get away and she keeps rubbing. I repeat, “can you not?” Multiple times until she stops. Shannon was there and witnessed all of this. September 8, 2018 at 09:00- Sam walks up behind me and grabs my arm and holds onto me all the way from receiving to my desk (this is about a 40 yard walk) September 13, 2018 at 01:45- Sam sends pictures of “her dirty sink” with her clearly standing in the mirror in nothing but her underwear (messages still on my phone) September 14, 2018 at 15:00- Christie gets my phone number from work and texts me out of the blue telling me she’s lonely and that I’m invited over and sends me her address (messages still on my phone) September 17, 2018 at 22:00- Ashley and Christie come to my desk and rub my arms and say they’re “hot”. This lasts for about 3 minutes September 19, 2018 at 08:30- Sam straight up tells me she “really needs a fuck buddy” then hugs me and buries her face in my chest and asks me to be there for her in her time of need. _________________________________________________ And that kind of stuff has been going on all year. After what Sam said earlier, it made me think I should finally tell someone about this but I’m wondering if it’s just be a situation where this ends badly for me. | e6af3fv | e69lxle | 1,537,402,816 | 1,537,378,039 | 156 | 30 | Here's an angle you may want to consider: Suppose your abusers begin to feel slighted by you in the future. Who's to say they won't flip the script and accuse *you* of being the aggressor in these instances? I would consult an attorney before going to HR, and I would do this sooner rather than later. I think you will want *your* side of things to be the first your company hears of this. | I'd like to echo the sentiment to speak with a lawyer before HR if time and money allows. I can't speak on the legal side of things but if I were in your shoes I'd report it. There are still so many people who don't realize that men can be (and are being) sexually harassed, so it may be an uphill battle, but it would be worth it imo. No one deserves this kind of harassment and unwanted distraction at work--or anywhere really. If you can afford to do so, please get a lawyer and stand up to these women. | 1 | 24,777 | 5.2 |
9h5m6p | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | A few of the managers at my job have been sexually harassing me all year. I’ve documented it since the beginning of the month but I’m beginning to wonder if it’s even worth addressing since I’m a (large, black) male and they’re all white women (Missouri) Here’s the copy&paste of the documentations I’ve made in my phone since September 1 and all the names have been changed to fake ones; times are approximate: September 1, 2018 at 16:00- Sam sends me 5 pictures of her posing in her bathing suit (I still have those messages on my phone) September 2nd, 2018 at 13:20- Christie hugs me from behind at the customer service desk and brushes her hands over my crotch in front of customers. September 2nd, 2018 at 19:10- Christie smacks my butt while I’m bending over to pick up a box that she specifically called me and asked me to come move. September 2nd, 2018 at 23:00- Christie blocks me from walking out of the store until I give her a hug. She buries her face in my neck and sniffs me and tells me I smell really good. September 3rd, 2018 at 14:00- Christie and Sam sit in the break room with me while I’m on a lunch break and talk to me about their past sexual experiences and ask me about mine and the size of my penis September 4, 2018 at 21:00- Ashley comes up behind me while I’m tying to write a contract for a customer who’s waiting at the customer service desk and starts rubbing the back of my neck. I pull forward to get away and she keeps rubbing. I repeat, “can you not?” Multiple times until she stops. Shannon was there and witnessed all of this. September 8, 2018 at 09:00- Sam walks up behind me and grabs my arm and holds onto me all the way from receiving to my desk (this is about a 40 yard walk) September 13, 2018 at 01:45- Sam sends pictures of “her dirty sink” with her clearly standing in the mirror in nothing but her underwear (messages still on my phone) September 14, 2018 at 15:00- Christie gets my phone number from work and texts me out of the blue telling me she’s lonely and that I’m invited over and sends me her address (messages still on my phone) September 17, 2018 at 22:00- Ashley and Christie come to my desk and rub my arms and say they’re “hot”. This lasts for about 3 minutes September 19, 2018 at 08:30- Sam straight up tells me she “really needs a fuck buddy” then hugs me and buries her face in my chest and asks me to be there for her in her time of need. _________________________________________________ And that kind of stuff has been going on all year. After what Sam said earlier, it made me think I should finally tell someone about this but I’m wondering if it’s just be a situation where this ends badly for me. | e6af3fv | e69vs6w | 1,537,402,816 | 1,537,385,812 | 156 | 42 | Here's an angle you may want to consider: Suppose your abusers begin to feel slighted by you in the future. Who's to say they won't flip the script and accuse *you* of being the aggressor in these instances? I would consult an attorney before going to HR, and I would do this sooner rather than later. I think you will want *your* side of things to be the first your company hears of this. | If you're worried about your store's management being in cahoots with the in-store HR, I would suggest going over their heads and clearly informing the area HR that these women have created such an uncomfortable and hostile work environment, and that you don't feel safe approaching the managers in your store about the issue without retaliation. There is a chance that your managers will retaliate; however, you have security footage on your side as well. Lastly, if they should text you again, I would suggest sending them a straightforward "Please do not contact me outside of work" sort of text, if only to defend yourself from them trying to flip the story if/when it gets addressed by a higher authority. ​ | 1 | 17,004 | 3.714286 |
9h5m6p | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | A few of the managers at my job have been sexually harassing me all year. I’ve documented it since the beginning of the month but I’m beginning to wonder if it’s even worth addressing since I’m a (large, black) male and they’re all white women (Missouri) Here’s the copy&paste of the documentations I’ve made in my phone since September 1 and all the names have been changed to fake ones; times are approximate: September 1, 2018 at 16:00- Sam sends me 5 pictures of her posing in her bathing suit (I still have those messages on my phone) September 2nd, 2018 at 13:20- Christie hugs me from behind at the customer service desk and brushes her hands over my crotch in front of customers. September 2nd, 2018 at 19:10- Christie smacks my butt while I’m bending over to pick up a box that she specifically called me and asked me to come move. September 2nd, 2018 at 23:00- Christie blocks me from walking out of the store until I give her a hug. She buries her face in my neck and sniffs me and tells me I smell really good. September 3rd, 2018 at 14:00- Christie and Sam sit in the break room with me while I’m on a lunch break and talk to me about their past sexual experiences and ask me about mine and the size of my penis September 4, 2018 at 21:00- Ashley comes up behind me while I’m tying to write a contract for a customer who’s waiting at the customer service desk and starts rubbing the back of my neck. I pull forward to get away and she keeps rubbing. I repeat, “can you not?” Multiple times until she stops. Shannon was there and witnessed all of this. September 8, 2018 at 09:00- Sam walks up behind me and grabs my arm and holds onto me all the way from receiving to my desk (this is about a 40 yard walk) September 13, 2018 at 01:45- Sam sends pictures of “her dirty sink” with her clearly standing in the mirror in nothing but her underwear (messages still on my phone) September 14, 2018 at 15:00- Christie gets my phone number from work and texts me out of the blue telling me she’s lonely and that I’m invited over and sends me her address (messages still on my phone) September 17, 2018 at 22:00- Ashley and Christie come to my desk and rub my arms and say they’re “hot”. This lasts for about 3 minutes September 19, 2018 at 08:30- Sam straight up tells me she “really needs a fuck buddy” then hugs me and buries her face in my chest and asks me to be there for her in her time of need. _________________________________________________ And that kind of stuff has been going on all year. After what Sam said earlier, it made me think I should finally tell someone about this but I’m wondering if it’s just be a situation where this ends badly for me. | e6af3fv | e6abuvo | 1,537,402,816 | 1,537,399,629 | 156 | 21 | Here's an angle you may want to consider: Suppose your abusers begin to feel slighted by you in the future. Who's to say they won't flip the script and accuse *you* of being the aggressor in these instances? I would consult an attorney before going to HR, and I would do this sooner rather than later. I think you will want *your* side of things to be the first your company hears of this. | As a lady person, I'm appalled that this is happening to you. Your documentation is crucial and you've done a great job. Corporate HR - not local. I've seen first hand how bad it can be when HR are besties with your abuser (not me, but a colleague). Teach those creepy bitches a lesson. (I was going to say "nail them to a wall", but context...). Don't be afraid to make a stand. Don't back down. Channel Terry Crews. | 1 | 3,187 | 7.428571 |
9h5m6p | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | A few of the managers at my job have been sexually harassing me all year. I’ve documented it since the beginning of the month but I’m beginning to wonder if it’s even worth addressing since I’m a (large, black) male and they’re all white women (Missouri) Here’s the copy&paste of the documentations I’ve made in my phone since September 1 and all the names have been changed to fake ones; times are approximate: September 1, 2018 at 16:00- Sam sends me 5 pictures of her posing in her bathing suit (I still have those messages on my phone) September 2nd, 2018 at 13:20- Christie hugs me from behind at the customer service desk and brushes her hands over my crotch in front of customers. September 2nd, 2018 at 19:10- Christie smacks my butt while I’m bending over to pick up a box that she specifically called me and asked me to come move. September 2nd, 2018 at 23:00- Christie blocks me from walking out of the store until I give her a hug. She buries her face in my neck and sniffs me and tells me I smell really good. September 3rd, 2018 at 14:00- Christie and Sam sit in the break room with me while I’m on a lunch break and talk to me about their past sexual experiences and ask me about mine and the size of my penis September 4, 2018 at 21:00- Ashley comes up behind me while I’m tying to write a contract for a customer who’s waiting at the customer service desk and starts rubbing the back of my neck. I pull forward to get away and she keeps rubbing. I repeat, “can you not?” Multiple times until she stops. Shannon was there and witnessed all of this. September 8, 2018 at 09:00- Sam walks up behind me and grabs my arm and holds onto me all the way from receiving to my desk (this is about a 40 yard walk) September 13, 2018 at 01:45- Sam sends pictures of “her dirty sink” with her clearly standing in the mirror in nothing but her underwear (messages still on my phone) September 14, 2018 at 15:00- Christie gets my phone number from work and texts me out of the blue telling me she’s lonely and that I’m invited over and sends me her address (messages still on my phone) September 17, 2018 at 22:00- Ashley and Christie come to my desk and rub my arms and say they’re “hot”. This lasts for about 3 minutes September 19, 2018 at 08:30- Sam straight up tells me she “really needs a fuck buddy” then hugs me and buries her face in my chest and asks me to be there for her in her time of need. _________________________________________________ And that kind of stuff has been going on all year. After what Sam said earlier, it made me think I should finally tell someone about this but I’m wondering if it’s just be a situation where this ends badly for me. | e6acz70 | e6af3fv | 1,537,400,730 | 1,537,402,816 | 19 | 156 | Not a lawyer but I am a high level manager in a very large corporation. Absolutely 1000% you need to report this to the area manager and a corporate HR manager and also an outside attorney. You do not want this handled at the store level at all. You are also protected against retaliation after you report this. By law, any report has to be investigated and taken seriously, regardless of your gender. You are a protected class for your gender and your race. Harassment is taken very seriously by any corporation that doesn’t want their employees feeling unsafe and especially when they don’t want a lawsuit. I wish you the best of luck and as incredibly sorry you have to deal with this. What they are doing is so inappropriate and you deserve a safe work environment. | Here's an angle you may want to consider: Suppose your abusers begin to feel slighted by you in the future. Who's to say they won't flip the script and accuse *you* of being the aggressor in these instances? I would consult an attorney before going to HR, and I would do this sooner rather than later. I think you will want *your* side of things to be the first your company hears of this. | 0 | 2,086 | 8.210526 |
9h5m6p | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | A few of the managers at my job have been sexually harassing me all year. I’ve documented it since the beginning of the month but I’m beginning to wonder if it’s even worth addressing since I’m a (large, black) male and they’re all white women (Missouri) Here’s the copy&paste of the documentations I’ve made in my phone since September 1 and all the names have been changed to fake ones; times are approximate: September 1, 2018 at 16:00- Sam sends me 5 pictures of her posing in her bathing suit (I still have those messages on my phone) September 2nd, 2018 at 13:20- Christie hugs me from behind at the customer service desk and brushes her hands over my crotch in front of customers. September 2nd, 2018 at 19:10- Christie smacks my butt while I’m bending over to pick up a box that she specifically called me and asked me to come move. September 2nd, 2018 at 23:00- Christie blocks me from walking out of the store until I give her a hug. She buries her face in my neck and sniffs me and tells me I smell really good. September 3rd, 2018 at 14:00- Christie and Sam sit in the break room with me while I’m on a lunch break and talk to me about their past sexual experiences and ask me about mine and the size of my penis September 4, 2018 at 21:00- Ashley comes up behind me while I’m tying to write a contract for a customer who’s waiting at the customer service desk and starts rubbing the back of my neck. I pull forward to get away and she keeps rubbing. I repeat, “can you not?” Multiple times until she stops. Shannon was there and witnessed all of this. September 8, 2018 at 09:00- Sam walks up behind me and grabs my arm and holds onto me all the way from receiving to my desk (this is about a 40 yard walk) September 13, 2018 at 01:45- Sam sends pictures of “her dirty sink” with her clearly standing in the mirror in nothing but her underwear (messages still on my phone) September 14, 2018 at 15:00- Christie gets my phone number from work and texts me out of the blue telling me she’s lonely and that I’m invited over and sends me her address (messages still on my phone) September 17, 2018 at 22:00- Ashley and Christie come to my desk and rub my arms and say they’re “hot”. This lasts for about 3 minutes September 19, 2018 at 08:30- Sam straight up tells me she “really needs a fuck buddy” then hugs me and buries her face in my chest and asks me to be there for her in her time of need. _________________________________________________ And that kind of stuff has been going on all year. After what Sam said earlier, it made me think I should finally tell someone about this but I’m wondering if it’s just be a situation where this ends badly for me. | e69a4m7 | e6af3fv | 1,537,368,425 | 1,537,402,816 | 15 | 156 | Well that certainly sounds like sexual harassment. I would make a best effort attempt to report the behavior of these individuals to someone in management or HR and ask that they be talked to and that these unwelcome advances at work from managers stop. You might go in with your phone recording audio and explain that you need to talk to them about some behavior from certain managers that you feel is sexual harassment, state the date, and ask if it's okay to record the conversation. If they say no, turn the recording off - Missouri is a two-party consent state. If this "ends badly", as in you get fired or you get accused of being the one making the advances or something, go to an employment lawyer. If reporting doesn't stop the behavior, make a further report. The point is to show that you are trying to get the employer to stop the behavior of a few badly behaving employees. If that doesn't work, go to an employment lawyer. | Here's an angle you may want to consider: Suppose your abusers begin to feel slighted by you in the future. Who's to say they won't flip the script and accuse *you* of being the aggressor in these instances? I would consult an attorney before going to HR, and I would do this sooner rather than later. I think you will want *your* side of things to be the first your company hears of this. | 0 | 34,391 | 10.4 |
9h5m6p | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | A few of the managers at my job have been sexually harassing me all year. I’ve documented it since the beginning of the month but I’m beginning to wonder if it’s even worth addressing since I’m a (large, black) male and they’re all white women (Missouri) Here’s the copy&paste of the documentations I’ve made in my phone since September 1 and all the names have been changed to fake ones; times are approximate: September 1, 2018 at 16:00- Sam sends me 5 pictures of her posing in her bathing suit (I still have those messages on my phone) September 2nd, 2018 at 13:20- Christie hugs me from behind at the customer service desk and brushes her hands over my crotch in front of customers. September 2nd, 2018 at 19:10- Christie smacks my butt while I’m bending over to pick up a box that she specifically called me and asked me to come move. September 2nd, 2018 at 23:00- Christie blocks me from walking out of the store until I give her a hug. She buries her face in my neck and sniffs me and tells me I smell really good. September 3rd, 2018 at 14:00- Christie and Sam sit in the break room with me while I’m on a lunch break and talk to me about their past sexual experiences and ask me about mine and the size of my penis September 4, 2018 at 21:00- Ashley comes up behind me while I’m tying to write a contract for a customer who’s waiting at the customer service desk and starts rubbing the back of my neck. I pull forward to get away and she keeps rubbing. I repeat, “can you not?” Multiple times until she stops. Shannon was there and witnessed all of this. September 8, 2018 at 09:00- Sam walks up behind me and grabs my arm and holds onto me all the way from receiving to my desk (this is about a 40 yard walk) September 13, 2018 at 01:45- Sam sends pictures of “her dirty sink” with her clearly standing in the mirror in nothing but her underwear (messages still on my phone) September 14, 2018 at 15:00- Christie gets my phone number from work and texts me out of the blue telling me she’s lonely and that I’m invited over and sends me her address (messages still on my phone) September 17, 2018 at 22:00- Ashley and Christie come to my desk and rub my arms and say they’re “hot”. This lasts for about 3 minutes September 19, 2018 at 08:30- Sam straight up tells me she “really needs a fuck buddy” then hugs me and buries her face in my chest and asks me to be there for her in her time of need. _________________________________________________ And that kind of stuff has been going on all year. After what Sam said earlier, it made me think I should finally tell someone about this but I’m wondering if it’s just be a situation where this ends badly for me. | e6ai0ks | e69lxle | 1,537,405,682 | 1,537,378,039 | 82 | 30 | Not legal advice, but I recommend checking out r/MensLib and r/CrewsCrew for support. r/MensLib is an all-purpose men's support sub that aims for male betterment that does not depend on misogyny/come at the cost of women (so a lot less hostile to the idea of men as victims of sexual abuses such as harassment), and they regularly discuss male sexual abuse and such. r/CrewsCrew is a sub that grew in response to Terry Crews speaking up about the sexual harassment he faced in the media industry as a large black man, and generally discusses sexual harassment and abuse. They both have resource guides in the sidebars, and hopefully you can find some support somewhere in there, whether or not you are able to pursue legal action on the harassment you are facing. I am so sorry you are dealing with this, and I wish you all the best of luck and that one way or another, you escape that harassment soon. | I'd like to echo the sentiment to speak with a lawyer before HR if time and money allows. I can't speak on the legal side of things but if I were in your shoes I'd report it. There are still so many people who don't realize that men can be (and are being) sexually harassed, so it may be an uphill battle, but it would be worth it imo. No one deserves this kind of harassment and unwanted distraction at work--or anywhere really. If you can afford to do so, please get a lawyer and stand up to these women. | 1 | 27,643 | 2.733333 |
9h5m6p | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | A few of the managers at my job have been sexually harassing me all year. I’ve documented it since the beginning of the month but I’m beginning to wonder if it’s even worth addressing since I’m a (large, black) male and they’re all white women (Missouri) Here’s the copy&paste of the documentations I’ve made in my phone since September 1 and all the names have been changed to fake ones; times are approximate: September 1, 2018 at 16:00- Sam sends me 5 pictures of her posing in her bathing suit (I still have those messages on my phone) September 2nd, 2018 at 13:20- Christie hugs me from behind at the customer service desk and brushes her hands over my crotch in front of customers. September 2nd, 2018 at 19:10- Christie smacks my butt while I’m bending over to pick up a box that she specifically called me and asked me to come move. September 2nd, 2018 at 23:00- Christie blocks me from walking out of the store until I give her a hug. She buries her face in my neck and sniffs me and tells me I smell really good. September 3rd, 2018 at 14:00- Christie and Sam sit in the break room with me while I’m on a lunch break and talk to me about their past sexual experiences and ask me about mine and the size of my penis September 4, 2018 at 21:00- Ashley comes up behind me while I’m tying to write a contract for a customer who’s waiting at the customer service desk and starts rubbing the back of my neck. I pull forward to get away and she keeps rubbing. I repeat, “can you not?” Multiple times until she stops. Shannon was there and witnessed all of this. September 8, 2018 at 09:00- Sam walks up behind me and grabs my arm and holds onto me all the way from receiving to my desk (this is about a 40 yard walk) September 13, 2018 at 01:45- Sam sends pictures of “her dirty sink” with her clearly standing in the mirror in nothing but her underwear (messages still on my phone) September 14, 2018 at 15:00- Christie gets my phone number from work and texts me out of the blue telling me she’s lonely and that I’m invited over and sends me her address (messages still on my phone) September 17, 2018 at 22:00- Ashley and Christie come to my desk and rub my arms and say they’re “hot”. This lasts for about 3 minutes September 19, 2018 at 08:30- Sam straight up tells me she “really needs a fuck buddy” then hugs me and buries her face in my chest and asks me to be there for her in her time of need. _________________________________________________ And that kind of stuff has been going on all year. After what Sam said earlier, it made me think I should finally tell someone about this but I’m wondering if it’s just be a situation where this ends badly for me. | e69vs6w | e6ai0ks | 1,537,385,812 | 1,537,405,682 | 42 | 82 | If you're worried about your store's management being in cahoots with the in-store HR, I would suggest going over their heads and clearly informing the area HR that these women have created such an uncomfortable and hostile work environment, and that you don't feel safe approaching the managers in your store about the issue without retaliation. There is a chance that your managers will retaliate; however, you have security footage on your side as well. Lastly, if they should text you again, I would suggest sending them a straightforward "Please do not contact me outside of work" sort of text, if only to defend yourself from them trying to flip the story if/when it gets addressed by a higher authority. ​ | Not legal advice, but I recommend checking out r/MensLib and r/CrewsCrew for support. r/MensLib is an all-purpose men's support sub that aims for male betterment that does not depend on misogyny/come at the cost of women (so a lot less hostile to the idea of men as victims of sexual abuses such as harassment), and they regularly discuss male sexual abuse and such. r/CrewsCrew is a sub that grew in response to Terry Crews speaking up about the sexual harassment he faced in the media industry as a large black man, and generally discusses sexual harassment and abuse. They both have resource guides in the sidebars, and hopefully you can find some support somewhere in there, whether or not you are able to pursue legal action on the harassment you are facing. I am so sorry you are dealing with this, and I wish you all the best of luck and that one way or another, you escape that harassment soon. | 0 | 19,870 | 1.952381 |
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