post_id
stringlengths 5
7
| domain
stringclasses 18
values | upvote_ratio
float64 0.5
1
| history
stringlengths 22
39.2k
| c_root_id_A
stringlengths 7
7
| c_root_id_B
stringlengths 7
7
| created_at_utc_A
int64 1.28B
1.67B
| created_at_utc_B
int64 1.28B
1.67B
| score_A
int64 2
43.5k
| score_B
int64 2
43.2k
| human_ref_A
stringlengths 0
10.7k
| human_ref_B
stringlengths 0
10.8k
| labels
int64 0
1
| seconds_difference
float64 0
145M
| score_ratio
float64 1
3.72k
|
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
ybxv4x | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | Wife threw me out and is ghosting me. Delivered divorce papers to me. What are the immediate steps I need to take? Long story short, she made me pack a small bag and I am at my parents house. I was able to grab a few changes of clothes and my work laptop / cell phone. I need to grab many other things, most importantly work equipment, as I work 100% remote. Wife is not responding to text, calls, nothing. I started getting alerts that someone was trying to access my personal email account, DoorDash account, etc. What are the first steps I need to take right away? Without proper equipment my work will definitely suffer. We rent a house together, if that makes any difference. It’s all a little overwhelming and I’m trying to get my head around what needs to be done. | itlfae3 | itk6zw6 | 1,666,622,929 | 1,666,593,984 | 81 | 13 | You have every right to just go pick up your stuff. That said, it would be best to have a witness. A police officer would be best, if you can get one to go with you on what they call a "civil standby." The officer won't take sides, or decide who owns what, but he'll be there to prevent violence, and she'll probably behave better with him watching you pack and take your things. Your next step will be to hire a lawyer. It's hard to wrap your head around what's happening, but you're going to be divorced, and you'll want a lawyer to help you with the legalities of it. Meet with him ASAP, and bring all your bank account information, leases, and a list of major property, such as cars. Change the passwords on your personal email, Door Dash, and everything else you can think of. If any of them have security questions for recovering your password, change those to things she doesn't know, and can't guess. I recommend answers that don't even match the questions (First car? Battle of Hastings. Favorite color? Philadelphia.) If you have any joint bank accounts, get a current statement, and ask your lawyer before moving any money into or out of them. | I am not a lawyer but went through recent divorce and other family drama with a sibling having to recover belongings from crazy parents. If you go back to the house to pick things up you can try to get a police office for what they often call a preserve the peace call. Around here our police department is so overwhelmed that my brother tried several times and waited many many hours. At the very least though, if emotions are high I would take someone with you and if it's not a two-party consent state then I would record the entire visit. Or heck pull out your phone or have your friend/family with their phone videotaping it and on video say I don't want there to be any strange accusations on either of our parts. So I'm taping to show what I'm taking with me. If you use a computer for your work but it's also used by your family, there could be some dispute. However, if you're the only one using it for work purposes, I think you could make the argument that if your wife wants you to keep paying bills, you're going to have to have it to keep working. While you're taping things, you could also ask why she's been trying to get into your accounts and see what she admits. The thing is if she's actually put in a petition for divorce at this point all assets are frozen. Not in the sense that you can't access the bank but nobody is allowed to move large amounts of money or incur significant debt. So definitely get a lawyer and also read the petition closely because you have a time limit on when you have to respond. Normally your response to the petition basically just has to be Yes. I agree with everything or no. I don't agree with everything and will have to have further discussion or go to court. You don't have to come up with every detail right away. Just don't fail to respond in the appropriate way to the court --not to your wife -- because failure to respond is basically taken as agreement with her terms. | 1 | 28,945 | 6.230769 |
ybxv4x | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | Wife threw me out and is ghosting me. Delivered divorce papers to me. What are the immediate steps I need to take? Long story short, she made me pack a small bag and I am at my parents house. I was able to grab a few changes of clothes and my work laptop / cell phone. I need to grab many other things, most importantly work equipment, as I work 100% remote. Wife is not responding to text, calls, nothing. I started getting alerts that someone was trying to access my personal email account, DoorDash account, etc. What are the first steps I need to take right away? Without proper equipment my work will definitely suffer. We rent a house together, if that makes any difference. It’s all a little overwhelming and I’m trying to get my head around what needs to be done. | itlfae3 | itlbjfh | 1,666,622,929 | 1,666,621,339 | 81 | 5 | You have every right to just go pick up your stuff. That said, it would be best to have a witness. A police officer would be best, if you can get one to go with you on what they call a "civil standby." The officer won't take sides, or decide who owns what, but he'll be there to prevent violence, and she'll probably behave better with him watching you pack and take your things. Your next step will be to hire a lawyer. It's hard to wrap your head around what's happening, but you're going to be divorced, and you'll want a lawyer to help you with the legalities of it. Meet with him ASAP, and bring all your bank account information, leases, and a list of major property, such as cars. Change the passwords on your personal email, Door Dash, and everything else you can think of. If any of them have security questions for recovering your password, change those to things she doesn't know, and can't guess. I recommend answers that don't even match the questions (First car? Battle of Hastings. Favorite color? Philadelphia.) If you have any joint bank accounts, get a current statement, and ask your lawyer before moving any money into or out of them. | get a lawyer asap.... you can bet she has one. | 1 | 1,590 | 16.2 |
yichma | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | A buyer on ebay is claiming I sent the wrong item and returned a empty box to me what can I do? I sold a item on ebay and sent it to the buyer, the buyer then claimed they received a completely different item and opened a return. I received a the outer box I used and inside was a empty box filled with polystyrene peanuts. I told ebay and they made me sign a declaration which I did. I find out today that they are still siding with the buyer despite me giving photographs showing the item I received. Is there anything I can do? I'm in the uk if it makes a difference. I've lost £400 and am now overdrawn at my bank so rent is a very real panic. | iuipsy0 | iuj56dp | 1,667,235,998 | 1,667,242,089 | 41 | 90 | r/LegalAdviceUK I don't think there's much you can do besides attempting to contact ebay/PayPal support outside of taking it to small claims. MCOL may be appropriate I'm not sure. | Weight of the box you shipped vs box you got returned??? Couriers usually put that info on the tracking record | 0 | 6,091 | 2.195122 |
yichma | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | A buyer on ebay is claiming I sent the wrong item and returned a empty box to me what can I do? I sold a item on ebay and sent it to the buyer, the buyer then claimed they received a completely different item and opened a return. I received a the outer box I used and inside was a empty box filled with polystyrene peanuts. I told ebay and they made me sign a declaration which I did. I find out today that they are still siding with the buyer despite me giving photographs showing the item I received. Is there anything I can do? I'm in the uk if it makes a difference. I've lost £400 and am now overdrawn at my bank so rent is a very real panic. | iui1eef | iuj56dp | 1,667,226,044 | 1,667,242,089 | 37 | 90 | Try asking at r/ebaysellers. | Weight of the box you shipped vs box you got returned??? Couriers usually put that info on the tracking record | 0 | 16,045 | 2.432432 |
yichma | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | A buyer on ebay is claiming I sent the wrong item and returned a empty box to me what can I do? I sold a item on ebay and sent it to the buyer, the buyer then claimed they received a completely different item and opened a return. I received a the outer box I used and inside was a empty box filled with polystyrene peanuts. I told ebay and they made me sign a declaration which I did. I find out today that they are still siding with the buyer despite me giving photographs showing the item I received. Is there anything I can do? I'm in the uk if it makes a difference. I've lost £400 and am now overdrawn at my bank so rent is a very real panic. | iui1eef | iuipsy0 | 1,667,226,044 | 1,667,235,998 | 37 | 41 | Try asking at r/ebaysellers. | r/LegalAdviceUK I don't think there's much you can do besides attempting to contact ebay/PayPal support outside of taking it to small claims. MCOL may be appropriate I'm not sure. | 0 | 9,954 | 1.108108 |
yichma | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | A buyer on ebay is claiming I sent the wrong item and returned a empty box to me what can I do? I sold a item on ebay and sent it to the buyer, the buyer then claimed they received a completely different item and opened a return. I received a the outer box I used and inside was a empty box filled with polystyrene peanuts. I told ebay and they made me sign a declaration which I did. I find out today that they are still siding with the buyer despite me giving photographs showing the item I received. Is there anything I can do? I'm in the uk if it makes a difference. I've lost £400 and am now overdrawn at my bank so rent is a very real panic. | iuk4zmg | iuk08uc | 1,667,257,423 | 1,667,255,157 | 9 | 7 | Common ebay buyer scam | Nothing much unless you have unboxing video of the return shipment. If there are multiple complaints about buyer then eBay will look at it. Just keep following up with eBay and try selling locally rather than online. | 1 | 2,266 | 1.285714 |
yichma | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | A buyer on ebay is claiming I sent the wrong item and returned a empty box to me what can I do? I sold a item on ebay and sent it to the buyer, the buyer then claimed they received a completely different item and opened a return. I received a the outer box I used and inside was a empty box filled with polystyrene peanuts. I told ebay and they made me sign a declaration which I did. I find out today that they are still siding with the buyer despite me giving photographs showing the item I received. Is there anything I can do? I'm in the uk if it makes a difference. I've lost £400 and am now overdrawn at my bank so rent is a very real panic. | iuk4zmg | iuk1tw4 | 1,667,257,423 | 1,667,255,910 | 9 | 2 | Common ebay buyer scam | You can get info from the courier like the weight and followup with ebay and ask for reimbursement, because the buyer returned something different. But Ebay and any other platform that doesn't verify the product is not going to know if you sent the buyer an emtpy box, a box of rocks, etc, or if you are lying about getting an empty box back. You can report mail fraud to the police. You can sue the buyer in small claims. This can all be handled online in many parts of the UK, you don't need to travel to where they live. You present your case and a judge decides instead of ebay. | 1 | 1,513 | 4.5 |
488m2z | legaladvice_train | 0.94 | Parents wrongfully claim me as dependent, I do not live with them and they do not pay for my expenses. What should I do so I can still file as independent? I am (21/F) and have been living on my own for two years now. I work and go to school full time and my tuition is being paid for by financial aid and scholarships, which means my parents are not paying for my education. I decided to move out and away from my parents because living has home has become extremely toxic and my dad has a serious spending problem and is refusing to seek help or even considering on changing. (Let me add that he is already 60+ years old) When I was about to file my taxes, I realized that my dad has already claimed me as a dependent and claims that I am still “living at home”, even though I have not been living with him and he does NOT pay any of my bills/expenses. (I do not even sleep at my parent’s house because he has rented out the additional rooms to other people) He has claimed me last year as well, despite me living on my own but I decided to let it go and file as dependent because I knew he was not going to correct his taxes to change it to me being dependent. The reason I am wondering if there’s something that I can do this year is because I’m tired of always being so passive and allowing my dad to take advantage of me by trying to squeeze every penny out of me… I am wondering what my next steps are. Some people advised me to just file as independent anyway so I could get more tax reimbursement as opposed to if my parents claimed me as dependent. I have talked to my dad about it but he said that he HAS to claim me as dependent, (even though I no longer live with him), because that is the only way I would get financial aid. (Which I’m sure is a lie…) My dad is a compulsive liar and would rather help himself rather than others (even his own children) but I am wondering what I can do so I can file as independent without getting him in trouble with the IRS. I want to add that saving money is VERY foreign to him, so any penny he gets, he spends. Hence it was not surprising to me that he has already put a down payment on a new car... I know some people are saying that I should just file as independent and show the IRS proof that I am living on my own/paying my own expenses; however I do not know what would happen to my parents if IRS sends them a letter saying they have to refund some of the money they have reimbursed him earlier. Even though I am upset my dad has claimed me and is lying about having to claim me as dependent for “my benefit”, I know he would not have the money to pay back the IRS (and any additional fines he may receive) because as I mentioned earlier, he does not know how to save money and “you can’t teach old dogs new tricks” so before anyone says “he has to learn to save” or anything of that sort, I know he would not change. If anything, he would turn to my siblings, my mother, or me for the money to pay his penalty charges that the IRS might send him. What should I do so I can still file as independent without having to get my parents into having to pay a huge fine to IRS (for reasons listed above), or should I just forget about it and file as dependent? | d0hswl7 | d0i4i8t | 1,456,727,499 | 1,456,760,799 | 17 | 26 | Taxes and federal student aid dependent status is totally different. Taxes has to do with your income and whether you supported yourself, your family, or no one. Federal student aid has a standard for how parents should be helping their children attend college, so almost every young adult in college is a dependent (you can only be independent if you were homeless, emancipated minor, 24+, or graduated). I *tried* to be independent for federal student aid and didn't qualify, even though neither of my parents ever even cosigned a loan let alone helped me pay for college. Edit: 24 and up, my bad. | Others have provided decent legal advice, so let me provide a little coaching of a different sort. There are a lot of posters who come to this sub with a similar story. "Help, I'm being harmed by a loved one who is doing something illegal, and I'd like to know how I can use the legal system to be made whole without any harm befalling my loved one." The stories cover tax fraud over dependents, stealing identities to open lines of credit (with the common variation of adding you as a loan co-signer), violating fiduciary duties as a trustee or executor over a trust/estate, domestic violence, and/or theft (particularly fueled by addiction). I'm sorry - but in the vast majority of cases, you can't have your cake and eat it. The legal system exists to uphold the social contract and to provide justice to we the *people*, which means it cares more about the broader message than your individual circumstances (hence criminal cases are often "The People of the State of X versus Y"). Philosophically, criminal activity harms all of us - it makes us feel insecure, implies that the rule of law does not exist, and if unpunished makes it more likely to occur. It is why once the legal system is notified of criminal activity, it is not your say whether charges are pressed - and why the system doesn't appear to care about the vagaries of your individual situation or your wants and needs. You can choose to do nothing, and decide that you are willing to bear the costs of what your father has done. But please realize that if you remain quiet, you are enabling his behavior. Your father is a compulsive liar, and apparently a tax fraud. He has already made the decision to break the law - and he should bear the responsibility for that, even if it means paying a huge fine to the IRS. He has not only harmed you, he has harmed all of us as citizens who follow the rules. Why should he be allowed to get away with it? | 0 | 33,300 | 1.529412 |
488m2z | legaladvice_train | 0.94 | Parents wrongfully claim me as dependent, I do not live with them and they do not pay for my expenses. What should I do so I can still file as independent? I am (21/F) and have been living on my own for two years now. I work and go to school full time and my tuition is being paid for by financial aid and scholarships, which means my parents are not paying for my education. I decided to move out and away from my parents because living has home has become extremely toxic and my dad has a serious spending problem and is refusing to seek help or even considering on changing. (Let me add that he is already 60+ years old) When I was about to file my taxes, I realized that my dad has already claimed me as a dependent and claims that I am still “living at home”, even though I have not been living with him and he does NOT pay any of my bills/expenses. (I do not even sleep at my parent’s house because he has rented out the additional rooms to other people) He has claimed me last year as well, despite me living on my own but I decided to let it go and file as dependent because I knew he was not going to correct his taxes to change it to me being dependent. The reason I am wondering if there’s something that I can do this year is because I’m tired of always being so passive and allowing my dad to take advantage of me by trying to squeeze every penny out of me… I am wondering what my next steps are. Some people advised me to just file as independent anyway so I could get more tax reimbursement as opposed to if my parents claimed me as dependent. I have talked to my dad about it but he said that he HAS to claim me as dependent, (even though I no longer live with him), because that is the only way I would get financial aid. (Which I’m sure is a lie…) My dad is a compulsive liar and would rather help himself rather than others (even his own children) but I am wondering what I can do so I can file as independent without getting him in trouble with the IRS. I want to add that saving money is VERY foreign to him, so any penny he gets, he spends. Hence it was not surprising to me that he has already put a down payment on a new car... I know some people are saying that I should just file as independent and show the IRS proof that I am living on my own/paying my own expenses; however I do not know what would happen to my parents if IRS sends them a letter saying they have to refund some of the money they have reimbursed him earlier. Even though I am upset my dad has claimed me and is lying about having to claim me as dependent for “my benefit”, I know he would not have the money to pay back the IRS (and any additional fines he may receive) because as I mentioned earlier, he does not know how to save money and “you can’t teach old dogs new tricks” so before anyone says “he has to learn to save” or anything of that sort, I know he would not change. If anything, he would turn to my siblings, my mother, or me for the money to pay his penalty charges that the IRS might send him. What should I do so I can still file as independent without having to get my parents into having to pay a huge fine to IRS (for reasons listed above), or should I just forget about it and file as dependent? | d0i2462 | d0i4i8t | 1,456,756,895 | 1,456,760,799 | 10 | 26 | I was in exactly this situation about ten years ago. What happens is that your SSN pops up on both tax documents. You each get a letter informing you of this, and offering to allow you (or the other party) to file an amended return. If neither party does, you both get investigated. In my case, my mother was up to her hip in shaky tax moves, so she really needed to not be audited or investigated, so she amended her return. The same thing may happen here. | Others have provided decent legal advice, so let me provide a little coaching of a different sort. There are a lot of posters who come to this sub with a similar story. "Help, I'm being harmed by a loved one who is doing something illegal, and I'd like to know how I can use the legal system to be made whole without any harm befalling my loved one." The stories cover tax fraud over dependents, stealing identities to open lines of credit (with the common variation of adding you as a loan co-signer), violating fiduciary duties as a trustee or executor over a trust/estate, domestic violence, and/or theft (particularly fueled by addiction). I'm sorry - but in the vast majority of cases, you can't have your cake and eat it. The legal system exists to uphold the social contract and to provide justice to we the *people*, which means it cares more about the broader message than your individual circumstances (hence criminal cases are often "The People of the State of X versus Y"). Philosophically, criminal activity harms all of us - it makes us feel insecure, implies that the rule of law does not exist, and if unpunished makes it more likely to occur. It is why once the legal system is notified of criminal activity, it is not your say whether charges are pressed - and why the system doesn't appear to care about the vagaries of your individual situation or your wants and needs. You can choose to do nothing, and decide that you are willing to bear the costs of what your father has done. But please realize that if you remain quiet, you are enabling his behavior. Your father is a compulsive liar, and apparently a tax fraud. He has already made the decision to break the law - and he should bear the responsibility for that, even if it means paying a huge fine to the IRS. He has not only harmed you, he has harmed all of us as citizens who follow the rules. Why should he be allowed to get away with it? | 0 | 3,904 | 2.6 |
488m2z | legaladvice_train | 0.94 | Parents wrongfully claim me as dependent, I do not live with them and they do not pay for my expenses. What should I do so I can still file as independent? I am (21/F) and have been living on my own for two years now. I work and go to school full time and my tuition is being paid for by financial aid and scholarships, which means my parents are not paying for my education. I decided to move out and away from my parents because living has home has become extremely toxic and my dad has a serious spending problem and is refusing to seek help or even considering on changing. (Let me add that he is already 60+ years old) When I was about to file my taxes, I realized that my dad has already claimed me as a dependent and claims that I am still “living at home”, even though I have not been living with him and he does NOT pay any of my bills/expenses. (I do not even sleep at my parent’s house because he has rented out the additional rooms to other people) He has claimed me last year as well, despite me living on my own but I decided to let it go and file as dependent because I knew he was not going to correct his taxes to change it to me being dependent. The reason I am wondering if there’s something that I can do this year is because I’m tired of always being so passive and allowing my dad to take advantage of me by trying to squeeze every penny out of me… I am wondering what my next steps are. Some people advised me to just file as independent anyway so I could get more tax reimbursement as opposed to if my parents claimed me as dependent. I have talked to my dad about it but he said that he HAS to claim me as dependent, (even though I no longer live with him), because that is the only way I would get financial aid. (Which I’m sure is a lie…) My dad is a compulsive liar and would rather help himself rather than others (even his own children) but I am wondering what I can do so I can file as independent without getting him in trouble with the IRS. I want to add that saving money is VERY foreign to him, so any penny he gets, he spends. Hence it was not surprising to me that he has already put a down payment on a new car... I know some people are saying that I should just file as independent and show the IRS proof that I am living on my own/paying my own expenses; however I do not know what would happen to my parents if IRS sends them a letter saying they have to refund some of the money they have reimbursed him earlier. Even though I am upset my dad has claimed me and is lying about having to claim me as dependent for “my benefit”, I know he would not have the money to pay back the IRS (and any additional fines he may receive) because as I mentioned earlier, he does not know how to save money and “you can’t teach old dogs new tricks” so before anyone says “he has to learn to save” or anything of that sort, I know he would not change. If anything, he would turn to my siblings, my mother, or me for the money to pay his penalty charges that the IRS might send him. What should I do so I can still file as independent without having to get my parents into having to pay a huge fine to IRS (for reasons listed above), or should I just forget about it and file as dependent? | d0i3h61 | d0i4i8t | 1,456,759,208 | 1,456,760,799 | 3 | 26 | You need to file. Let him live with the consequences of his actions. Old dogs can learn new tricks when it's necessary. Right now it sounds like you are enabling him in a way. | Others have provided decent legal advice, so let me provide a little coaching of a different sort. There are a lot of posters who come to this sub with a similar story. "Help, I'm being harmed by a loved one who is doing something illegal, and I'd like to know how I can use the legal system to be made whole without any harm befalling my loved one." The stories cover tax fraud over dependents, stealing identities to open lines of credit (with the common variation of adding you as a loan co-signer), violating fiduciary duties as a trustee or executor over a trust/estate, domestic violence, and/or theft (particularly fueled by addiction). I'm sorry - but in the vast majority of cases, you can't have your cake and eat it. The legal system exists to uphold the social contract and to provide justice to we the *people*, which means it cares more about the broader message than your individual circumstances (hence criminal cases are often "The People of the State of X versus Y"). Philosophically, criminal activity harms all of us - it makes us feel insecure, implies that the rule of law does not exist, and if unpunished makes it more likely to occur. It is why once the legal system is notified of criminal activity, it is not your say whether charges are pressed - and why the system doesn't appear to care about the vagaries of your individual situation or your wants and needs. You can choose to do nothing, and decide that you are willing to bear the costs of what your father has done. But please realize that if you remain quiet, you are enabling his behavior. Your father is a compulsive liar, and apparently a tax fraud. He has already made the decision to break the law - and he should bear the responsibility for that, even if it means paying a huge fine to the IRS. He has not only harmed you, he has harmed all of us as citizens who follow the rules. Why should he be allowed to get away with it? | 0 | 1,591 | 8.666667 |
54s7xn | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | FL: Nurse was stealing from her work supply room. One day there were too many people working there so she stole meds from an amputation patient during her shift. That patient couldn't speak but could feel pain for 12 hours. The nurse was convicted. Can she be sued? There was no permanent damage | d84q6ye | d84q0dt | 1,475,014,933 | 1,475,014,662 | 75 | 40 | How can this nurse be so stupid. I'm only a student nurse and even I realise the sentence 'no lasting damages' is absolute rubbisht. That patient was left in pain, unable to communicate that pain. Vulnerable. Probably scared. They now probably don't trust health care professionals like they should be able to. The relationship we have with our patients is based on trust and this selfish nurse has shattered that which could possibly have ramifications for this patient in the future. That betrayal can lead to a reluctance to seek help. That knowing you were vulnerable and in pain can lead to things like depression, anxiety and PTSD. So don't you dare say there was 'no permanant damage' when you cannot possibly know that and any nurse should known a damn sight better. She can be sued. Perhaps that might change this 'no lasting damage' attitude. | The "no permanent damage" is relevant to malpractice claims. This was NOT, malpractice, it was an assault. This was a conscious decision to steal medication from a patient knowing it would cause great pain. | 1 | 271 | 1.875 |
7bgy1s | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | New landlord hates privacy. Help I recently found myself needing a month to month lease for between six months to 14 months in Baltimore, which I was unfamiliar with. The apartment I found is a small efficiency in an older building. They agreed to a standard lease for the first six months, followed by month to month lease. I was to be the first tenant, when I toured it six weeks ago, workers were painting the rooms. The landlords son is living upstairs, and this is my landlords first time renting. The lease was obviously pulled from a form and seemed standard. There is a clause in the lease which states that I can't install curtains rods or hooks. This seemed standard as well, I had similar at my old apartment. I assumed there would be some sort of curtain provided, and this was in regards to additional curtains. I moved in Sunday, and found the landlord had not installed curtains at all. At this point, I assumed the issue with curtains was the potential to damage to the wall. So, I bought tension rods that require no hardware and used them to hang curtains. Monday afternoon I got a text from my landlord saying I needed to remove the curtains. The building is on a street corner with a fair amount of foot traffic. Between the four windows, you can see all of my apartment with the exception of the portion of the bathroom with the toilet and tub. Not only does this mean I have no privacy, but the neighborhood is slightly sketchy after dark. The nearby buildings have bars on their windows. Anyone passing by not only can see my possessions, but whether or not I am home. I expressed this to the landlord in my reply over text. He replied to reread my lease. I left them up overnight. I had orientation this morning and came back to find the curtains removed and no where in the apartment. I discovered this before entering the building, as two guys were outside one of my windows and looking in my apartment. They left when I entered the building. I messaged the landlord saying he didn't have the right to enter the apartment and asked for the curtains back. He again said to check my lease and then commented that I needed to finish unpacking as it looked messy in my apartment. I had to head to a work event so I couldn't follow through more, but I moved my electronics to one corner and used a bookshelf to block one of the windows so they weren't visible. While at the event, I got a text from the landlord with a picture of the blocked window, captioned "whatts this" What can I do to prevent my landlord from entering the apartment unannounced and to compel him to allow some form of curtain? Alternatively, how do I break my lease three days into it? This is too crazy for week one. | dphw5t3 | dpi14rl | 1,510,095,064 | 1,510,100,819 | 719 | 1,734 | Contact the police about your stolen curtains. If your lease specifies no curtain rods or hooks, then you cannot use a tension rod as it is prohibited by the lease. You can respond to the landlord that you moved a bookshelf in front of your window to provide privacy, and if he has a problem to read the lease or to provide a better solution (like allowing curtain rods...). If your landlord keeps entering your apartment unannounced, contact the police. That's not okay. | Put paper or cardboard in the windows. If he complains tell him to read the lease. Id also advise you to go ahead and provide whatever notice is required to move out and find another place because this guy sounds crazy. | 0 | 5,755 | 2.411683 |
7bgy1s | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | New landlord hates privacy. Help I recently found myself needing a month to month lease for between six months to 14 months in Baltimore, which I was unfamiliar with. The apartment I found is a small efficiency in an older building. They agreed to a standard lease for the first six months, followed by month to month lease. I was to be the first tenant, when I toured it six weeks ago, workers were painting the rooms. The landlords son is living upstairs, and this is my landlords first time renting. The lease was obviously pulled from a form and seemed standard. There is a clause in the lease which states that I can't install curtains rods or hooks. This seemed standard as well, I had similar at my old apartment. I assumed there would be some sort of curtain provided, and this was in regards to additional curtains. I moved in Sunday, and found the landlord had not installed curtains at all. At this point, I assumed the issue with curtains was the potential to damage to the wall. So, I bought tension rods that require no hardware and used them to hang curtains. Monday afternoon I got a text from my landlord saying I needed to remove the curtains. The building is on a street corner with a fair amount of foot traffic. Between the four windows, you can see all of my apartment with the exception of the portion of the bathroom with the toilet and tub. Not only does this mean I have no privacy, but the neighborhood is slightly sketchy after dark. The nearby buildings have bars on their windows. Anyone passing by not only can see my possessions, but whether or not I am home. I expressed this to the landlord in my reply over text. He replied to reread my lease. I left them up overnight. I had orientation this morning and came back to find the curtains removed and no where in the apartment. I discovered this before entering the building, as two guys were outside one of my windows and looking in my apartment. They left when I entered the building. I messaged the landlord saying he didn't have the right to enter the apartment and asked for the curtains back. He again said to check my lease and then commented that I needed to finish unpacking as it looked messy in my apartment. I had to head to a work event so I couldn't follow through more, but I moved my electronics to one corner and used a bookshelf to block one of the windows so they weren't visible. While at the event, I got a text from the landlord with a picture of the blocked window, captioned "whatts this" What can I do to prevent my landlord from entering the apartment unannounced and to compel him to allow some form of curtain? Alternatively, how do I break my lease three days into it? This is too crazy for week one. | dpi0g37 | dpi14rl | 1,510,100,026 | 1,510,100,819 | 551 | 1,734 | You have renters insurance, right? If not, buy a policy immediately. | Put paper or cardboard in the windows. If he complains tell him to read the lease. Id also advise you to go ahead and provide whatever notice is required to move out and find another place because this guy sounds crazy. | 0 | 793 | 3.147005 |
7bgy1s | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | New landlord hates privacy. Help I recently found myself needing a month to month lease for between six months to 14 months in Baltimore, which I was unfamiliar with. The apartment I found is a small efficiency in an older building. They agreed to a standard lease for the first six months, followed by month to month lease. I was to be the first tenant, when I toured it six weeks ago, workers were painting the rooms. The landlords son is living upstairs, and this is my landlords first time renting. The lease was obviously pulled from a form and seemed standard. There is a clause in the lease which states that I can't install curtains rods or hooks. This seemed standard as well, I had similar at my old apartment. I assumed there would be some sort of curtain provided, and this was in regards to additional curtains. I moved in Sunday, and found the landlord had not installed curtains at all. At this point, I assumed the issue with curtains was the potential to damage to the wall. So, I bought tension rods that require no hardware and used them to hang curtains. Monday afternoon I got a text from my landlord saying I needed to remove the curtains. The building is on a street corner with a fair amount of foot traffic. Between the four windows, you can see all of my apartment with the exception of the portion of the bathroom with the toilet and tub. Not only does this mean I have no privacy, but the neighborhood is slightly sketchy after dark. The nearby buildings have bars on their windows. Anyone passing by not only can see my possessions, but whether or not I am home. I expressed this to the landlord in my reply over text. He replied to reread my lease. I left them up overnight. I had orientation this morning and came back to find the curtains removed and no where in the apartment. I discovered this before entering the building, as two guys were outside one of my windows and looking in my apartment. They left when I entered the building. I messaged the landlord saying he didn't have the right to enter the apartment and asked for the curtains back. He again said to check my lease and then commented that I needed to finish unpacking as it looked messy in my apartment. I had to head to a work event so I couldn't follow through more, but I moved my electronics to one corner and used a bookshelf to block one of the windows so they weren't visible. While at the event, I got a text from the landlord with a picture of the blocked window, captioned "whatts this" What can I do to prevent my landlord from entering the apartment unannounced and to compel him to allow some form of curtain? Alternatively, how do I break my lease three days into it? This is too crazy for week one. | dphy8bk | dpi14rl | 1,510,097,424 | 1,510,100,819 | 300 | 1,734 | Your landlord sounds either nosy, perverted, uneducated as to the intricacies of renting, or some sort of combination of the above. It is literally in his best interest as the home owner that you do not get robbed because your entire living space is open for viewing to the public. If he refuses to be educated about your rights to privacy, I would move out ASAP. | Put paper or cardboard in the windows. If he complains tell him to read the lease. Id also advise you to go ahead and provide whatever notice is required to move out and find another place because this guy sounds crazy. | 0 | 3,395 | 5.78 |
7bgy1s | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | New landlord hates privacy. Help I recently found myself needing a month to month lease for between six months to 14 months in Baltimore, which I was unfamiliar with. The apartment I found is a small efficiency in an older building. They agreed to a standard lease for the first six months, followed by month to month lease. I was to be the first tenant, when I toured it six weeks ago, workers were painting the rooms. The landlords son is living upstairs, and this is my landlords first time renting. The lease was obviously pulled from a form and seemed standard. There is a clause in the lease which states that I can't install curtains rods or hooks. This seemed standard as well, I had similar at my old apartment. I assumed there would be some sort of curtain provided, and this was in regards to additional curtains. I moved in Sunday, and found the landlord had not installed curtains at all. At this point, I assumed the issue with curtains was the potential to damage to the wall. So, I bought tension rods that require no hardware and used them to hang curtains. Monday afternoon I got a text from my landlord saying I needed to remove the curtains. The building is on a street corner with a fair amount of foot traffic. Between the four windows, you can see all of my apartment with the exception of the portion of the bathroom with the toilet and tub. Not only does this mean I have no privacy, but the neighborhood is slightly sketchy after dark. The nearby buildings have bars on their windows. Anyone passing by not only can see my possessions, but whether or not I am home. I expressed this to the landlord in my reply over text. He replied to reread my lease. I left them up overnight. I had orientation this morning and came back to find the curtains removed and no where in the apartment. I discovered this before entering the building, as two guys were outside one of my windows and looking in my apartment. They left when I entered the building. I messaged the landlord saying he didn't have the right to enter the apartment and asked for the curtains back. He again said to check my lease and then commented that I needed to finish unpacking as it looked messy in my apartment. I had to head to a work event so I couldn't follow through more, but I moved my electronics to one corner and used a bookshelf to block one of the windows so they weren't visible. While at the event, I got a text from the landlord with a picture of the blocked window, captioned "whatts this" What can I do to prevent my landlord from entering the apartment unannounced and to compel him to allow some form of curtain? Alternatively, how do I break my lease three days into it? This is too crazy for week one. | dpi07z7 | dpi14rl | 1,510,099,765 | 1,510,100,819 | 227 | 1,734 | Set up a security camera. One that's hidden. Take pictures of what it looks like from the outside, at night, how people can see in. A judge won't find that amusing. | Put paper or cardboard in the windows. If he complains tell him to read the lease. Id also advise you to go ahead and provide whatever notice is required to move out and find another place because this guy sounds crazy. | 0 | 1,054 | 7.638767 |
7bgy1s | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | New landlord hates privacy. Help I recently found myself needing a month to month lease for between six months to 14 months in Baltimore, which I was unfamiliar with. The apartment I found is a small efficiency in an older building. They agreed to a standard lease for the first six months, followed by month to month lease. I was to be the first tenant, when I toured it six weeks ago, workers were painting the rooms. The landlords son is living upstairs, and this is my landlords first time renting. The lease was obviously pulled from a form and seemed standard. There is a clause in the lease which states that I can't install curtains rods or hooks. This seemed standard as well, I had similar at my old apartment. I assumed there would be some sort of curtain provided, and this was in regards to additional curtains. I moved in Sunday, and found the landlord had not installed curtains at all. At this point, I assumed the issue with curtains was the potential to damage to the wall. So, I bought tension rods that require no hardware and used them to hang curtains. Monday afternoon I got a text from my landlord saying I needed to remove the curtains. The building is on a street corner with a fair amount of foot traffic. Between the four windows, you can see all of my apartment with the exception of the portion of the bathroom with the toilet and tub. Not only does this mean I have no privacy, but the neighborhood is slightly sketchy after dark. The nearby buildings have bars on their windows. Anyone passing by not only can see my possessions, but whether or not I am home. I expressed this to the landlord in my reply over text. He replied to reread my lease. I left them up overnight. I had orientation this morning and came back to find the curtains removed and no where in the apartment. I discovered this before entering the building, as two guys were outside one of my windows and looking in my apartment. They left when I entered the building. I messaged the landlord saying he didn't have the right to enter the apartment and asked for the curtains back. He again said to check my lease and then commented that I needed to finish unpacking as it looked messy in my apartment. I had to head to a work event so I couldn't follow through more, but I moved my electronics to one corner and used a bookshelf to block one of the windows so they weren't visible. While at the event, I got a text from the landlord with a picture of the blocked window, captioned "whatts this" What can I do to prevent my landlord from entering the apartment unannounced and to compel him to allow some form of curtain? Alternatively, how do I break my lease three days into it? This is too crazy for week one. | dphw5t3 | dpieul1 | 1,510,095,064 | 1,510,117,487 | 719 | 1,320 | Contact the police about your stolen curtains. If your lease specifies no curtain rods or hooks, then you cannot use a tension rod as it is prohibited by the lease. You can respond to the landlord that you moved a bookshelf in front of your window to provide privacy, and if he has a problem to read the lease or to provide a better solution (like allowing curtain rods...). If your landlord keeps entering your apartment unannounced, contact the police. That's not okay. | Landlords cannot contract out of tenency laws, commonlaw occupancy rights, or building codes. Building codes often mandate blinds and other privacy features around bedrooms and bathrooms. | 0 | 22,423 | 1.835883 |
7bgy1s | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | New landlord hates privacy. Help I recently found myself needing a month to month lease for between six months to 14 months in Baltimore, which I was unfamiliar with. The apartment I found is a small efficiency in an older building. They agreed to a standard lease for the first six months, followed by month to month lease. I was to be the first tenant, when I toured it six weeks ago, workers were painting the rooms. The landlords son is living upstairs, and this is my landlords first time renting. The lease was obviously pulled from a form and seemed standard. There is a clause in the lease which states that I can't install curtains rods or hooks. This seemed standard as well, I had similar at my old apartment. I assumed there would be some sort of curtain provided, and this was in regards to additional curtains. I moved in Sunday, and found the landlord had not installed curtains at all. At this point, I assumed the issue with curtains was the potential to damage to the wall. So, I bought tension rods that require no hardware and used them to hang curtains. Monday afternoon I got a text from my landlord saying I needed to remove the curtains. The building is on a street corner with a fair amount of foot traffic. Between the four windows, you can see all of my apartment with the exception of the portion of the bathroom with the toilet and tub. Not only does this mean I have no privacy, but the neighborhood is slightly sketchy after dark. The nearby buildings have bars on their windows. Anyone passing by not only can see my possessions, but whether or not I am home. I expressed this to the landlord in my reply over text. He replied to reread my lease. I left them up overnight. I had orientation this morning and came back to find the curtains removed and no where in the apartment. I discovered this before entering the building, as two guys were outside one of my windows and looking in my apartment. They left when I entered the building. I messaged the landlord saying he didn't have the right to enter the apartment and asked for the curtains back. He again said to check my lease and then commented that I needed to finish unpacking as it looked messy in my apartment. I had to head to a work event so I couldn't follow through more, but I moved my electronics to one corner and used a bookshelf to block one of the windows so they weren't visible. While at the event, I got a text from the landlord with a picture of the blocked window, captioned "whatts this" What can I do to prevent my landlord from entering the apartment unannounced and to compel him to allow some form of curtain? Alternatively, how do I break my lease three days into it? This is too crazy for week one. | dpieul1 | dpi0g37 | 1,510,117,487 | 1,510,100,026 | 1,320 | 551 | Landlords cannot contract out of tenency laws, commonlaw occupancy rights, or building codes. Building codes often mandate blinds and other privacy features around bedrooms and bathrooms. | You have renters insurance, right? If not, buy a policy immediately. | 1 | 17,461 | 2.395644 |
7bgy1s | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | New landlord hates privacy. Help I recently found myself needing a month to month lease for between six months to 14 months in Baltimore, which I was unfamiliar with. The apartment I found is a small efficiency in an older building. They agreed to a standard lease for the first six months, followed by month to month lease. I was to be the first tenant, when I toured it six weeks ago, workers were painting the rooms. The landlords son is living upstairs, and this is my landlords first time renting. The lease was obviously pulled from a form and seemed standard. There is a clause in the lease which states that I can't install curtains rods or hooks. This seemed standard as well, I had similar at my old apartment. I assumed there would be some sort of curtain provided, and this was in regards to additional curtains. I moved in Sunday, and found the landlord had not installed curtains at all. At this point, I assumed the issue with curtains was the potential to damage to the wall. So, I bought tension rods that require no hardware and used them to hang curtains. Monday afternoon I got a text from my landlord saying I needed to remove the curtains. The building is on a street corner with a fair amount of foot traffic. Between the four windows, you can see all of my apartment with the exception of the portion of the bathroom with the toilet and tub. Not only does this mean I have no privacy, but the neighborhood is slightly sketchy after dark. The nearby buildings have bars on their windows. Anyone passing by not only can see my possessions, but whether or not I am home. I expressed this to the landlord in my reply over text. He replied to reread my lease. I left them up overnight. I had orientation this morning and came back to find the curtains removed and no where in the apartment. I discovered this before entering the building, as two guys were outside one of my windows and looking in my apartment. They left when I entered the building. I messaged the landlord saying he didn't have the right to enter the apartment and asked for the curtains back. He again said to check my lease and then commented that I needed to finish unpacking as it looked messy in my apartment. I had to head to a work event so I couldn't follow through more, but I moved my electronics to one corner and used a bookshelf to block one of the windows so they weren't visible. While at the event, I got a text from the landlord with a picture of the blocked window, captioned "whatts this" What can I do to prevent my landlord from entering the apartment unannounced and to compel him to allow some form of curtain? Alternatively, how do I break my lease three days into it? This is too crazy for week one. | dpieul1 | dphy8bk | 1,510,117,487 | 1,510,097,424 | 1,320 | 300 | Landlords cannot contract out of tenency laws, commonlaw occupancy rights, or building codes. Building codes often mandate blinds and other privacy features around bedrooms and bathrooms. | Your landlord sounds either nosy, perverted, uneducated as to the intricacies of renting, or some sort of combination of the above. It is literally in his best interest as the home owner that you do not get robbed because your entire living space is open for viewing to the public. If he refuses to be educated about your rights to privacy, I would move out ASAP. | 1 | 20,063 | 4.4 |
7bgy1s | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | New landlord hates privacy. Help I recently found myself needing a month to month lease for between six months to 14 months in Baltimore, which I was unfamiliar with. The apartment I found is a small efficiency in an older building. They agreed to a standard lease for the first six months, followed by month to month lease. I was to be the first tenant, when I toured it six weeks ago, workers were painting the rooms. The landlords son is living upstairs, and this is my landlords first time renting. The lease was obviously pulled from a form and seemed standard. There is a clause in the lease which states that I can't install curtains rods or hooks. This seemed standard as well, I had similar at my old apartment. I assumed there would be some sort of curtain provided, and this was in regards to additional curtains. I moved in Sunday, and found the landlord had not installed curtains at all. At this point, I assumed the issue with curtains was the potential to damage to the wall. So, I bought tension rods that require no hardware and used them to hang curtains. Monday afternoon I got a text from my landlord saying I needed to remove the curtains. The building is on a street corner with a fair amount of foot traffic. Between the four windows, you can see all of my apartment with the exception of the portion of the bathroom with the toilet and tub. Not only does this mean I have no privacy, but the neighborhood is slightly sketchy after dark. The nearby buildings have bars on their windows. Anyone passing by not only can see my possessions, but whether or not I am home. I expressed this to the landlord in my reply over text. He replied to reread my lease. I left them up overnight. I had orientation this morning and came back to find the curtains removed and no where in the apartment. I discovered this before entering the building, as two guys were outside one of my windows and looking in my apartment. They left when I entered the building. I messaged the landlord saying he didn't have the right to enter the apartment and asked for the curtains back. He again said to check my lease and then commented that I needed to finish unpacking as it looked messy in my apartment. I had to head to a work event so I couldn't follow through more, but I moved my electronics to one corner and used a bookshelf to block one of the windows so they weren't visible. While at the event, I got a text from the landlord with a picture of the blocked window, captioned "whatts this" What can I do to prevent my landlord from entering the apartment unannounced and to compel him to allow some form of curtain? Alternatively, how do I break my lease three days into it? This is too crazy for week one. | dpieul1 | dpibw2c | 1,510,117,487 | 1,510,113,346 | 1,320 | 256 | Landlords cannot contract out of tenency laws, commonlaw occupancy rights, or building codes. Building codes often mandate blinds and other privacy features around bedrooms and bathrooms. | Home Depot sells paper blinds that come 4 in a box for $22. You just tape them onto the window for temporary privacy shades, until you can get out of there. They actually look like real blinds from the street. I would move out of there though, if I were you. He's going to be a continual problem. | 1 | 4,141 | 5.15625 |
7bgy1s | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | New landlord hates privacy. Help I recently found myself needing a month to month lease for between six months to 14 months in Baltimore, which I was unfamiliar with. The apartment I found is a small efficiency in an older building. They agreed to a standard lease for the first six months, followed by month to month lease. I was to be the first tenant, when I toured it six weeks ago, workers were painting the rooms. The landlords son is living upstairs, and this is my landlords first time renting. The lease was obviously pulled from a form and seemed standard. There is a clause in the lease which states that I can't install curtains rods or hooks. This seemed standard as well, I had similar at my old apartment. I assumed there would be some sort of curtain provided, and this was in regards to additional curtains. I moved in Sunday, and found the landlord had not installed curtains at all. At this point, I assumed the issue with curtains was the potential to damage to the wall. So, I bought tension rods that require no hardware and used them to hang curtains. Monday afternoon I got a text from my landlord saying I needed to remove the curtains. The building is on a street corner with a fair amount of foot traffic. Between the four windows, you can see all of my apartment with the exception of the portion of the bathroom with the toilet and tub. Not only does this mean I have no privacy, but the neighborhood is slightly sketchy after dark. The nearby buildings have bars on their windows. Anyone passing by not only can see my possessions, but whether or not I am home. I expressed this to the landlord in my reply over text. He replied to reread my lease. I left them up overnight. I had orientation this morning and came back to find the curtains removed and no where in the apartment. I discovered this before entering the building, as two guys were outside one of my windows and looking in my apartment. They left when I entered the building. I messaged the landlord saying he didn't have the right to enter the apartment and asked for the curtains back. He again said to check my lease and then commented that I needed to finish unpacking as it looked messy in my apartment. I had to head to a work event so I couldn't follow through more, but I moved my electronics to one corner and used a bookshelf to block one of the windows so they weren't visible. While at the event, I got a text from the landlord with a picture of the blocked window, captioned "whatts this" What can I do to prevent my landlord from entering the apartment unannounced and to compel him to allow some form of curtain? Alternatively, how do I break my lease three days into it? This is too crazy for week one. | dpieul1 | dpi07z7 | 1,510,117,487 | 1,510,099,765 | 1,320 | 227 | Landlords cannot contract out of tenency laws, commonlaw occupancy rights, or building codes. Building codes often mandate blinds and other privacy features around bedrooms and bathrooms. | Set up a security camera. One that's hidden. Take pictures of what it looks like from the outside, at night, how people can see in. A judge won't find that amusing. | 1 | 17,722 | 5.814978 |
7bgy1s | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | New landlord hates privacy. Help I recently found myself needing a month to month lease for between six months to 14 months in Baltimore, which I was unfamiliar with. The apartment I found is a small efficiency in an older building. They agreed to a standard lease for the first six months, followed by month to month lease. I was to be the first tenant, when I toured it six weeks ago, workers were painting the rooms. The landlords son is living upstairs, and this is my landlords first time renting. The lease was obviously pulled from a form and seemed standard. There is a clause in the lease which states that I can't install curtains rods or hooks. This seemed standard as well, I had similar at my old apartment. I assumed there would be some sort of curtain provided, and this was in regards to additional curtains. I moved in Sunday, and found the landlord had not installed curtains at all. At this point, I assumed the issue with curtains was the potential to damage to the wall. So, I bought tension rods that require no hardware and used them to hang curtains. Monday afternoon I got a text from my landlord saying I needed to remove the curtains. The building is on a street corner with a fair amount of foot traffic. Between the four windows, you can see all of my apartment with the exception of the portion of the bathroom with the toilet and tub. Not only does this mean I have no privacy, but the neighborhood is slightly sketchy after dark. The nearby buildings have bars on their windows. Anyone passing by not only can see my possessions, but whether or not I am home. I expressed this to the landlord in my reply over text. He replied to reread my lease. I left them up overnight. I had orientation this morning and came back to find the curtains removed and no where in the apartment. I discovered this before entering the building, as two guys were outside one of my windows and looking in my apartment. They left when I entered the building. I messaged the landlord saying he didn't have the right to enter the apartment and asked for the curtains back. He again said to check my lease and then commented that I needed to finish unpacking as it looked messy in my apartment. I had to head to a work event so I couldn't follow through more, but I moved my electronics to one corner and used a bookshelf to block one of the windows so they weren't visible. While at the event, I got a text from the landlord with a picture of the blocked window, captioned "whatts this" What can I do to prevent my landlord from entering the apartment unannounced and to compel him to allow some form of curtain? Alternatively, how do I break my lease three days into it? This is too crazy for week one. | dpibo03 | dpieul1 | 1,510,113,056 | 1,510,117,487 | 112 | 1,320 | Put a couple of nails in the window frame, run a steel wire between them, and string your curtains on that. Wire is neither a rod nor a hook. When your landlord complains, tell him to read the lease. | Landlords cannot contract out of tenency laws, commonlaw occupancy rights, or building codes. Building codes often mandate blinds and other privacy features around bedrooms and bathrooms. | 0 | 4,431 | 11.785714 |
7bgy1s | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | New landlord hates privacy. Help I recently found myself needing a month to month lease for between six months to 14 months in Baltimore, which I was unfamiliar with. The apartment I found is a small efficiency in an older building. They agreed to a standard lease for the first six months, followed by month to month lease. I was to be the first tenant, when I toured it six weeks ago, workers were painting the rooms. The landlords son is living upstairs, and this is my landlords first time renting. The lease was obviously pulled from a form and seemed standard. There is a clause in the lease which states that I can't install curtains rods or hooks. This seemed standard as well, I had similar at my old apartment. I assumed there would be some sort of curtain provided, and this was in regards to additional curtains. I moved in Sunday, and found the landlord had not installed curtains at all. At this point, I assumed the issue with curtains was the potential to damage to the wall. So, I bought tension rods that require no hardware and used them to hang curtains. Monday afternoon I got a text from my landlord saying I needed to remove the curtains. The building is on a street corner with a fair amount of foot traffic. Between the four windows, you can see all of my apartment with the exception of the portion of the bathroom with the toilet and tub. Not only does this mean I have no privacy, but the neighborhood is slightly sketchy after dark. The nearby buildings have bars on their windows. Anyone passing by not only can see my possessions, but whether or not I am home. I expressed this to the landlord in my reply over text. He replied to reread my lease. I left them up overnight. I had orientation this morning and came back to find the curtains removed and no where in the apartment. I discovered this before entering the building, as two guys were outside one of my windows and looking in my apartment. They left when I entered the building. I messaged the landlord saying he didn't have the right to enter the apartment and asked for the curtains back. He again said to check my lease and then commented that I needed to finish unpacking as it looked messy in my apartment. I had to head to a work event so I couldn't follow through more, but I moved my electronics to one corner and used a bookshelf to block one of the windows so they weren't visible. While at the event, I got a text from the landlord with a picture of the blocked window, captioned "whatts this" What can I do to prevent my landlord from entering the apartment unannounced and to compel him to allow some form of curtain? Alternatively, how do I break my lease three days into it? This is too crazy for week one. | dpieul1 | dpiatou | 1,510,117,487 | 1,510,111,995 | 1,320 | 88 | Landlords cannot contract out of tenency laws, commonlaw occupancy rights, or building codes. Building codes often mandate blinds and other privacy features around bedrooms and bathrooms. | If the lease says no curtain rods then I suppose tension doesn't work. What about buying plain flat sheets and just taping them up over the window (ala curtains)? He complains about THAT, tell him to read his lease. | 1 | 5,492 | 15 |
7bgy1s | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | New landlord hates privacy. Help I recently found myself needing a month to month lease for between six months to 14 months in Baltimore, which I was unfamiliar with. The apartment I found is a small efficiency in an older building. They agreed to a standard lease for the first six months, followed by month to month lease. I was to be the first tenant, when I toured it six weeks ago, workers were painting the rooms. The landlords son is living upstairs, and this is my landlords first time renting. The lease was obviously pulled from a form and seemed standard. There is a clause in the lease which states that I can't install curtains rods or hooks. This seemed standard as well, I had similar at my old apartment. I assumed there would be some sort of curtain provided, and this was in regards to additional curtains. I moved in Sunday, and found the landlord had not installed curtains at all. At this point, I assumed the issue with curtains was the potential to damage to the wall. So, I bought tension rods that require no hardware and used them to hang curtains. Monday afternoon I got a text from my landlord saying I needed to remove the curtains. The building is on a street corner with a fair amount of foot traffic. Between the four windows, you can see all of my apartment with the exception of the portion of the bathroom with the toilet and tub. Not only does this mean I have no privacy, but the neighborhood is slightly sketchy after dark. The nearby buildings have bars on their windows. Anyone passing by not only can see my possessions, but whether or not I am home. I expressed this to the landlord in my reply over text. He replied to reread my lease. I left them up overnight. I had orientation this morning and came back to find the curtains removed and no where in the apartment. I discovered this before entering the building, as two guys were outside one of my windows and looking in my apartment. They left when I entered the building. I messaged the landlord saying he didn't have the right to enter the apartment and asked for the curtains back. He again said to check my lease and then commented that I needed to finish unpacking as it looked messy in my apartment. I had to head to a work event so I couldn't follow through more, but I moved my electronics to one corner and used a bookshelf to block one of the windows so they weren't visible. While at the event, I got a text from the landlord with a picture of the blocked window, captioned "whatts this" What can I do to prevent my landlord from entering the apartment unannounced and to compel him to allow some form of curtain? Alternatively, how do I break my lease three days into it? This is too crazy for week one. | dpieul1 | dpi8s7a | 1,510,117,487 | 1,510,109,577 | 1,320 | 62 | Landlords cannot contract out of tenency laws, commonlaw occupancy rights, or building codes. Building codes often mandate blinds and other privacy features around bedrooms and bathrooms. | You can buy a spray that will make the glass hazy (like a bathroom window). It's removable. But yeah, your landlord sounds like a piece of work. Have you asked him directly how he expects you have privacy and avoid being a target for break-in? | 1 | 7,910 | 21.290323 |
7bgy1s | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | New landlord hates privacy. Help I recently found myself needing a month to month lease for between six months to 14 months in Baltimore, which I was unfamiliar with. The apartment I found is a small efficiency in an older building. They agreed to a standard lease for the first six months, followed by month to month lease. I was to be the first tenant, when I toured it six weeks ago, workers were painting the rooms. The landlords son is living upstairs, and this is my landlords first time renting. The lease was obviously pulled from a form and seemed standard. There is a clause in the lease which states that I can't install curtains rods or hooks. This seemed standard as well, I had similar at my old apartment. I assumed there would be some sort of curtain provided, and this was in regards to additional curtains. I moved in Sunday, and found the landlord had not installed curtains at all. At this point, I assumed the issue with curtains was the potential to damage to the wall. So, I bought tension rods that require no hardware and used them to hang curtains. Monday afternoon I got a text from my landlord saying I needed to remove the curtains. The building is on a street corner with a fair amount of foot traffic. Between the four windows, you can see all of my apartment with the exception of the portion of the bathroom with the toilet and tub. Not only does this mean I have no privacy, but the neighborhood is slightly sketchy after dark. The nearby buildings have bars on their windows. Anyone passing by not only can see my possessions, but whether or not I am home. I expressed this to the landlord in my reply over text. He replied to reread my lease. I left them up overnight. I had orientation this morning and came back to find the curtains removed and no where in the apartment. I discovered this before entering the building, as two guys were outside one of my windows and looking in my apartment. They left when I entered the building. I messaged the landlord saying he didn't have the right to enter the apartment and asked for the curtains back. He again said to check my lease and then commented that I needed to finish unpacking as it looked messy in my apartment. I had to head to a work event so I couldn't follow through more, but I moved my electronics to one corner and used a bookshelf to block one of the windows so they weren't visible. While at the event, I got a text from the landlord with a picture of the blocked window, captioned "whatts this" What can I do to prevent my landlord from entering the apartment unannounced and to compel him to allow some form of curtain? Alternatively, how do I break my lease three days into it? This is too crazy for week one. | dpi0g37 | dphy8bk | 1,510,100,026 | 1,510,097,424 | 551 | 300 | You have renters insurance, right? If not, buy a policy immediately. | Your landlord sounds either nosy, perverted, uneducated as to the intricacies of renting, or some sort of combination of the above. It is literally in his best interest as the home owner that you do not get robbed because your entire living space is open for viewing to the public. If he refuses to be educated about your rights to privacy, I would move out ASAP. | 1 | 2,602 | 1.836667 |
7bgy1s | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | New landlord hates privacy. Help I recently found myself needing a month to month lease for between six months to 14 months in Baltimore, which I was unfamiliar with. The apartment I found is a small efficiency in an older building. They agreed to a standard lease for the first six months, followed by month to month lease. I was to be the first tenant, when I toured it six weeks ago, workers were painting the rooms. The landlords son is living upstairs, and this is my landlords first time renting. The lease was obviously pulled from a form and seemed standard. There is a clause in the lease which states that I can't install curtains rods or hooks. This seemed standard as well, I had similar at my old apartment. I assumed there would be some sort of curtain provided, and this was in regards to additional curtains. I moved in Sunday, and found the landlord had not installed curtains at all. At this point, I assumed the issue with curtains was the potential to damage to the wall. So, I bought tension rods that require no hardware and used them to hang curtains. Monday afternoon I got a text from my landlord saying I needed to remove the curtains. The building is on a street corner with a fair amount of foot traffic. Between the four windows, you can see all of my apartment with the exception of the portion of the bathroom with the toilet and tub. Not only does this mean I have no privacy, but the neighborhood is slightly sketchy after dark. The nearby buildings have bars on their windows. Anyone passing by not only can see my possessions, but whether or not I am home. I expressed this to the landlord in my reply over text. He replied to reread my lease. I left them up overnight. I had orientation this morning and came back to find the curtains removed and no where in the apartment. I discovered this before entering the building, as two guys were outside one of my windows and looking in my apartment. They left when I entered the building. I messaged the landlord saying he didn't have the right to enter the apartment and asked for the curtains back. He again said to check my lease and then commented that I needed to finish unpacking as it looked messy in my apartment. I had to head to a work event so I couldn't follow through more, but I moved my electronics to one corner and used a bookshelf to block one of the windows so they weren't visible. While at the event, I got a text from the landlord with a picture of the blocked window, captioned "whatts this" What can I do to prevent my landlord from entering the apartment unannounced and to compel him to allow some form of curtain? Alternatively, how do I break my lease three days into it? This is too crazy for week one. | dpi0g37 | dpi07z7 | 1,510,100,026 | 1,510,099,765 | 551 | 227 | You have renters insurance, right? If not, buy a policy immediately. | Set up a security camera. One that's hidden. Take pictures of what it looks like from the outside, at night, how people can see in. A judge won't find that amusing. | 1 | 261 | 2.427313 |
7bgy1s | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | New landlord hates privacy. Help I recently found myself needing a month to month lease for between six months to 14 months in Baltimore, which I was unfamiliar with. The apartment I found is a small efficiency in an older building. They agreed to a standard lease for the first six months, followed by month to month lease. I was to be the first tenant, when I toured it six weeks ago, workers were painting the rooms. The landlords son is living upstairs, and this is my landlords first time renting. The lease was obviously pulled from a form and seemed standard. There is a clause in the lease which states that I can't install curtains rods or hooks. This seemed standard as well, I had similar at my old apartment. I assumed there would be some sort of curtain provided, and this was in regards to additional curtains. I moved in Sunday, and found the landlord had not installed curtains at all. At this point, I assumed the issue with curtains was the potential to damage to the wall. So, I bought tension rods that require no hardware and used them to hang curtains. Monday afternoon I got a text from my landlord saying I needed to remove the curtains. The building is on a street corner with a fair amount of foot traffic. Between the four windows, you can see all of my apartment with the exception of the portion of the bathroom with the toilet and tub. Not only does this mean I have no privacy, but the neighborhood is slightly sketchy after dark. The nearby buildings have bars on their windows. Anyone passing by not only can see my possessions, but whether or not I am home. I expressed this to the landlord in my reply over text. He replied to reread my lease. I left them up overnight. I had orientation this morning and came back to find the curtains removed and no where in the apartment. I discovered this before entering the building, as two guys were outside one of my windows and looking in my apartment. They left when I entered the building. I messaged the landlord saying he didn't have the right to enter the apartment and asked for the curtains back. He again said to check my lease and then commented that I needed to finish unpacking as it looked messy in my apartment. I had to head to a work event so I couldn't follow through more, but I moved my electronics to one corner and used a bookshelf to block one of the windows so they weren't visible. While at the event, I got a text from the landlord with a picture of the blocked window, captioned "whatts this" What can I do to prevent my landlord from entering the apartment unannounced and to compel him to allow some form of curtain? Alternatively, how do I break my lease three days into it? This is too crazy for week one. | dpi07z7 | dpibw2c | 1,510,099,765 | 1,510,113,346 | 227 | 256 | Set up a security camera. One that's hidden. Take pictures of what it looks like from the outside, at night, how people can see in. A judge won't find that amusing. | Home Depot sells paper blinds that come 4 in a box for $22. You just tape them onto the window for temporary privacy shades, until you can get out of there. They actually look like real blinds from the street. I would move out of there though, if I were you. He's going to be a continual problem. | 0 | 13,581 | 1.127753 |
7bgy1s | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | New landlord hates privacy. Help I recently found myself needing a month to month lease for between six months to 14 months in Baltimore, which I was unfamiliar with. The apartment I found is a small efficiency in an older building. They agreed to a standard lease for the first six months, followed by month to month lease. I was to be the first tenant, when I toured it six weeks ago, workers were painting the rooms. The landlords son is living upstairs, and this is my landlords first time renting. The lease was obviously pulled from a form and seemed standard. There is a clause in the lease which states that I can't install curtains rods or hooks. This seemed standard as well, I had similar at my old apartment. I assumed there would be some sort of curtain provided, and this was in regards to additional curtains. I moved in Sunday, and found the landlord had not installed curtains at all. At this point, I assumed the issue with curtains was the potential to damage to the wall. So, I bought tension rods that require no hardware and used them to hang curtains. Monday afternoon I got a text from my landlord saying I needed to remove the curtains. The building is on a street corner with a fair amount of foot traffic. Between the four windows, you can see all of my apartment with the exception of the portion of the bathroom with the toilet and tub. Not only does this mean I have no privacy, but the neighborhood is slightly sketchy after dark. The nearby buildings have bars on their windows. Anyone passing by not only can see my possessions, but whether or not I am home. I expressed this to the landlord in my reply over text. He replied to reread my lease. I left them up overnight. I had orientation this morning and came back to find the curtains removed and no where in the apartment. I discovered this before entering the building, as two guys were outside one of my windows and looking in my apartment. They left when I entered the building. I messaged the landlord saying he didn't have the right to enter the apartment and asked for the curtains back. He again said to check my lease and then commented that I needed to finish unpacking as it looked messy in my apartment. I had to head to a work event so I couldn't follow through more, but I moved my electronics to one corner and used a bookshelf to block one of the windows so they weren't visible. While at the event, I got a text from the landlord with a picture of the blocked window, captioned "whatts this" What can I do to prevent my landlord from entering the apartment unannounced and to compel him to allow some form of curtain? Alternatively, how do I break my lease three days into it? This is too crazy for week one. | dpibw2c | dpibo03 | 1,510,113,346 | 1,510,113,056 | 256 | 112 | Home Depot sells paper blinds that come 4 in a box for $22. You just tape them onto the window for temporary privacy shades, until you can get out of there. They actually look like real blinds from the street. I would move out of there though, if I were you. He's going to be a continual problem. | Put a couple of nails in the window frame, run a steel wire between them, and string your curtains on that. Wire is neither a rod nor a hook. When your landlord complains, tell him to read the lease. | 1 | 290 | 2.285714 |
7bgy1s | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | New landlord hates privacy. Help I recently found myself needing a month to month lease for between six months to 14 months in Baltimore, which I was unfamiliar with. The apartment I found is a small efficiency in an older building. They agreed to a standard lease for the first six months, followed by month to month lease. I was to be the first tenant, when I toured it six weeks ago, workers were painting the rooms. The landlords son is living upstairs, and this is my landlords first time renting. The lease was obviously pulled from a form and seemed standard. There is a clause in the lease which states that I can't install curtains rods or hooks. This seemed standard as well, I had similar at my old apartment. I assumed there would be some sort of curtain provided, and this was in regards to additional curtains. I moved in Sunday, and found the landlord had not installed curtains at all. At this point, I assumed the issue with curtains was the potential to damage to the wall. So, I bought tension rods that require no hardware and used them to hang curtains. Monday afternoon I got a text from my landlord saying I needed to remove the curtains. The building is on a street corner with a fair amount of foot traffic. Between the four windows, you can see all of my apartment with the exception of the portion of the bathroom with the toilet and tub. Not only does this mean I have no privacy, but the neighborhood is slightly sketchy after dark. The nearby buildings have bars on their windows. Anyone passing by not only can see my possessions, but whether or not I am home. I expressed this to the landlord in my reply over text. He replied to reread my lease. I left them up overnight. I had orientation this morning and came back to find the curtains removed and no where in the apartment. I discovered this before entering the building, as two guys were outside one of my windows and looking in my apartment. They left when I entered the building. I messaged the landlord saying he didn't have the right to enter the apartment and asked for the curtains back. He again said to check my lease and then commented that I needed to finish unpacking as it looked messy in my apartment. I had to head to a work event so I couldn't follow through more, but I moved my electronics to one corner and used a bookshelf to block one of the windows so they weren't visible. While at the event, I got a text from the landlord with a picture of the blocked window, captioned "whatts this" What can I do to prevent my landlord from entering the apartment unannounced and to compel him to allow some form of curtain? Alternatively, how do I break my lease three days into it? This is too crazy for week one. | dpibw2c | dpiatou | 1,510,113,346 | 1,510,111,995 | 256 | 88 | Home Depot sells paper blinds that come 4 in a box for $22. You just tape them onto the window for temporary privacy shades, until you can get out of there. They actually look like real blinds from the street. I would move out of there though, if I were you. He's going to be a continual problem. | If the lease says no curtain rods then I suppose tension doesn't work. What about buying plain flat sheets and just taping them up over the window (ala curtains)? He complains about THAT, tell him to read his lease. | 1 | 1,351 | 2.909091 |
7bgy1s | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | New landlord hates privacy. Help I recently found myself needing a month to month lease for between six months to 14 months in Baltimore, which I was unfamiliar with. The apartment I found is a small efficiency in an older building. They agreed to a standard lease for the first six months, followed by month to month lease. I was to be the first tenant, when I toured it six weeks ago, workers were painting the rooms. The landlords son is living upstairs, and this is my landlords first time renting. The lease was obviously pulled from a form and seemed standard. There is a clause in the lease which states that I can't install curtains rods or hooks. This seemed standard as well, I had similar at my old apartment. I assumed there would be some sort of curtain provided, and this was in regards to additional curtains. I moved in Sunday, and found the landlord had not installed curtains at all. At this point, I assumed the issue with curtains was the potential to damage to the wall. So, I bought tension rods that require no hardware and used them to hang curtains. Monday afternoon I got a text from my landlord saying I needed to remove the curtains. The building is on a street corner with a fair amount of foot traffic. Between the four windows, you can see all of my apartment with the exception of the portion of the bathroom with the toilet and tub. Not only does this mean I have no privacy, but the neighborhood is slightly sketchy after dark. The nearby buildings have bars on their windows. Anyone passing by not only can see my possessions, but whether or not I am home. I expressed this to the landlord in my reply over text. He replied to reread my lease. I left them up overnight. I had orientation this morning and came back to find the curtains removed and no where in the apartment. I discovered this before entering the building, as two guys were outside one of my windows and looking in my apartment. They left when I entered the building. I messaged the landlord saying he didn't have the right to enter the apartment and asked for the curtains back. He again said to check my lease and then commented that I needed to finish unpacking as it looked messy in my apartment. I had to head to a work event so I couldn't follow through more, but I moved my electronics to one corner and used a bookshelf to block one of the windows so they weren't visible. While at the event, I got a text from the landlord with a picture of the blocked window, captioned "whatts this" What can I do to prevent my landlord from entering the apartment unannounced and to compel him to allow some form of curtain? Alternatively, how do I break my lease three days into it? This is too crazy for week one. | dpibw2c | dpi8s7a | 1,510,113,346 | 1,510,109,577 | 256 | 62 | Home Depot sells paper blinds that come 4 in a box for $22. You just tape them onto the window for temporary privacy shades, until you can get out of there. They actually look like real blinds from the street. I would move out of there though, if I were you. He's going to be a continual problem. | You can buy a spray that will make the glass hazy (like a bathroom window). It's removable. But yeah, your landlord sounds like a piece of work. Have you asked him directly how he expects you have privacy and avoid being a target for break-in? | 1 | 3,769 | 4.129032 |
7bgy1s | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | New landlord hates privacy. Help I recently found myself needing a month to month lease for between six months to 14 months in Baltimore, which I was unfamiliar with. The apartment I found is a small efficiency in an older building. They agreed to a standard lease for the first six months, followed by month to month lease. I was to be the first tenant, when I toured it six weeks ago, workers were painting the rooms. The landlords son is living upstairs, and this is my landlords first time renting. The lease was obviously pulled from a form and seemed standard. There is a clause in the lease which states that I can't install curtains rods or hooks. This seemed standard as well, I had similar at my old apartment. I assumed there would be some sort of curtain provided, and this was in regards to additional curtains. I moved in Sunday, and found the landlord had not installed curtains at all. At this point, I assumed the issue with curtains was the potential to damage to the wall. So, I bought tension rods that require no hardware and used them to hang curtains. Monday afternoon I got a text from my landlord saying I needed to remove the curtains. The building is on a street corner with a fair amount of foot traffic. Between the four windows, you can see all of my apartment with the exception of the portion of the bathroom with the toilet and tub. Not only does this mean I have no privacy, but the neighborhood is slightly sketchy after dark. The nearby buildings have bars on their windows. Anyone passing by not only can see my possessions, but whether or not I am home. I expressed this to the landlord in my reply over text. He replied to reread my lease. I left them up overnight. I had orientation this morning and came back to find the curtains removed and no where in the apartment. I discovered this before entering the building, as two guys were outside one of my windows and looking in my apartment. They left when I entered the building. I messaged the landlord saying he didn't have the right to enter the apartment and asked for the curtains back. He again said to check my lease and then commented that I needed to finish unpacking as it looked messy in my apartment. I had to head to a work event so I couldn't follow through more, but I moved my electronics to one corner and used a bookshelf to block one of the windows so they weren't visible. While at the event, I got a text from the landlord with a picture of the blocked window, captioned "whatts this" What can I do to prevent my landlord from entering the apartment unannounced and to compel him to allow some form of curtain? Alternatively, how do I break my lease three days into it? This is too crazy for week one. | dpibo03 | dpiiqe9 | 1,510,113,056 | 1,510,124,548 | 112 | 218 | Put a couple of nails in the window frame, run a steel wire between them, and string your curtains on that. Wire is neither a rod nor a hook. When your landlord complains, tell him to read the lease. | Look into tenancy law in Baltimore and find out whether or not you can apply to break the lease based on him entering your apartment without giving notice. I think you are in danger. I'm guessing you're female? This is throwing up so many red flags. Speculation: The landlord was probably planning to find a female and forbid her to install curtains before he even met you. He might want to watch you from a distance, maybe gets off on the idea of the helplessness you feel over having been stripped of privacy and maybe gets off on the idea of other people watching you. He's making changes to your life in controlling you in ways which you fundamentally disagree with; it's damaging your well-being. That's what psychopaths yearn to do. He will act innocent no matter how bad things get. Don't accuse him of anything when you correspond with him; he will turn accusations into statements which won't seem right while you can't place why. And they will be totally avoiding the problem in the first place. They will confuse you. Nightmarish "mindfucks". He's mocking you. "whatts this"- he's not playing dumb, he's straight up mocking you. Seems like sarcasm, which given the circumstances is extremely inappropriate.. He may be a psychopath. Quite possibly a pervert. Don't act frustrated. Don't act any way out of the ordinary. Be neutral towards this situation, if not happy. Otherwise you're going to open up new options for him to harass you. And he will leave you with an experience you have to recover from. Where I live, landlords have to give written notice 24h (I think) prior to entering a tenants apartment. Violating that is grounds for terminating a lease, which you can apply to do while submitting evidence the infraction took place. Screenshots of the texts talking about him removing the curtains and him talking about what it looks like in your place may or may not constitute evidence. Depends on how exactly they are worded. If it's unclear he entered your apartment to remove them, he could just say he saw your place through the window and that's how he knows it looks messy (whether or not that's true- again, he's just playing with you like a psychopath would). | 0 | 11,492 | 1.946429 |
7bgy1s | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | New landlord hates privacy. Help I recently found myself needing a month to month lease for between six months to 14 months in Baltimore, which I was unfamiliar with. The apartment I found is a small efficiency in an older building. They agreed to a standard lease for the first six months, followed by month to month lease. I was to be the first tenant, when I toured it six weeks ago, workers were painting the rooms. The landlords son is living upstairs, and this is my landlords first time renting. The lease was obviously pulled from a form and seemed standard. There is a clause in the lease which states that I can't install curtains rods or hooks. This seemed standard as well, I had similar at my old apartment. I assumed there would be some sort of curtain provided, and this was in regards to additional curtains. I moved in Sunday, and found the landlord had not installed curtains at all. At this point, I assumed the issue with curtains was the potential to damage to the wall. So, I bought tension rods that require no hardware and used them to hang curtains. Monday afternoon I got a text from my landlord saying I needed to remove the curtains. The building is on a street corner with a fair amount of foot traffic. Between the four windows, you can see all of my apartment with the exception of the portion of the bathroom with the toilet and tub. Not only does this mean I have no privacy, but the neighborhood is slightly sketchy after dark. The nearby buildings have bars on their windows. Anyone passing by not only can see my possessions, but whether or not I am home. I expressed this to the landlord in my reply over text. He replied to reread my lease. I left them up overnight. I had orientation this morning and came back to find the curtains removed and no where in the apartment. I discovered this before entering the building, as two guys were outside one of my windows and looking in my apartment. They left when I entered the building. I messaged the landlord saying he didn't have the right to enter the apartment and asked for the curtains back. He again said to check my lease and then commented that I needed to finish unpacking as it looked messy in my apartment. I had to head to a work event so I couldn't follow through more, but I moved my electronics to one corner and used a bookshelf to block one of the windows so they weren't visible. While at the event, I got a text from the landlord with a picture of the blocked window, captioned "whatts this" What can I do to prevent my landlord from entering the apartment unannounced and to compel him to allow some form of curtain? Alternatively, how do I break my lease three days into it? This is too crazy for week one. | dpiiqe9 | dpiatou | 1,510,124,548 | 1,510,111,995 | 218 | 88 | Look into tenancy law in Baltimore and find out whether or not you can apply to break the lease based on him entering your apartment without giving notice. I think you are in danger. I'm guessing you're female? This is throwing up so many red flags. Speculation: The landlord was probably planning to find a female and forbid her to install curtains before he even met you. He might want to watch you from a distance, maybe gets off on the idea of the helplessness you feel over having been stripped of privacy and maybe gets off on the idea of other people watching you. He's making changes to your life in controlling you in ways which you fundamentally disagree with; it's damaging your well-being. That's what psychopaths yearn to do. He will act innocent no matter how bad things get. Don't accuse him of anything when you correspond with him; he will turn accusations into statements which won't seem right while you can't place why. And they will be totally avoiding the problem in the first place. They will confuse you. Nightmarish "mindfucks". He's mocking you. "whatts this"- he's not playing dumb, he's straight up mocking you. Seems like sarcasm, which given the circumstances is extremely inappropriate.. He may be a psychopath. Quite possibly a pervert. Don't act frustrated. Don't act any way out of the ordinary. Be neutral towards this situation, if not happy. Otherwise you're going to open up new options for him to harass you. And he will leave you with an experience you have to recover from. Where I live, landlords have to give written notice 24h (I think) prior to entering a tenants apartment. Violating that is grounds for terminating a lease, which you can apply to do while submitting evidence the infraction took place. Screenshots of the texts talking about him removing the curtains and him talking about what it looks like in your place may or may not constitute evidence. Depends on how exactly they are worded. If it's unclear he entered your apartment to remove them, he could just say he saw your place through the window and that's how he knows it looks messy (whether or not that's true- again, he's just playing with you like a psychopath would). | If the lease says no curtain rods then I suppose tension doesn't work. What about buying plain flat sheets and just taping them up over the window (ala curtains)? He complains about THAT, tell him to read his lease. | 1 | 12,553 | 2.477273 |
7bgy1s | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | New landlord hates privacy. Help I recently found myself needing a month to month lease for between six months to 14 months in Baltimore, which I was unfamiliar with. The apartment I found is a small efficiency in an older building. They agreed to a standard lease for the first six months, followed by month to month lease. I was to be the first tenant, when I toured it six weeks ago, workers were painting the rooms. The landlords son is living upstairs, and this is my landlords first time renting. The lease was obviously pulled from a form and seemed standard. There is a clause in the lease which states that I can't install curtains rods or hooks. This seemed standard as well, I had similar at my old apartment. I assumed there would be some sort of curtain provided, and this was in regards to additional curtains. I moved in Sunday, and found the landlord had not installed curtains at all. At this point, I assumed the issue with curtains was the potential to damage to the wall. So, I bought tension rods that require no hardware and used them to hang curtains. Monday afternoon I got a text from my landlord saying I needed to remove the curtains. The building is on a street corner with a fair amount of foot traffic. Between the four windows, you can see all of my apartment with the exception of the portion of the bathroom with the toilet and tub. Not only does this mean I have no privacy, but the neighborhood is slightly sketchy after dark. The nearby buildings have bars on their windows. Anyone passing by not only can see my possessions, but whether or not I am home. I expressed this to the landlord in my reply over text. He replied to reread my lease. I left them up overnight. I had orientation this morning and came back to find the curtains removed and no where in the apartment. I discovered this before entering the building, as two guys were outside one of my windows and looking in my apartment. They left when I entered the building. I messaged the landlord saying he didn't have the right to enter the apartment and asked for the curtains back. He again said to check my lease and then commented that I needed to finish unpacking as it looked messy in my apartment. I had to head to a work event so I couldn't follow through more, but I moved my electronics to one corner and used a bookshelf to block one of the windows so they weren't visible. While at the event, I got a text from the landlord with a picture of the blocked window, captioned "whatts this" What can I do to prevent my landlord from entering the apartment unannounced and to compel him to allow some form of curtain? Alternatively, how do I break my lease three days into it? This is too crazy for week one. | dpi8s7a | dpiiqe9 | 1,510,109,577 | 1,510,124,548 | 62 | 218 | You can buy a spray that will make the glass hazy (like a bathroom window). It's removable. But yeah, your landlord sounds like a piece of work. Have you asked him directly how he expects you have privacy and avoid being a target for break-in? | Look into tenancy law in Baltimore and find out whether or not you can apply to break the lease based on him entering your apartment without giving notice. I think you are in danger. I'm guessing you're female? This is throwing up so many red flags. Speculation: The landlord was probably planning to find a female and forbid her to install curtains before he even met you. He might want to watch you from a distance, maybe gets off on the idea of the helplessness you feel over having been stripped of privacy and maybe gets off on the idea of other people watching you. He's making changes to your life in controlling you in ways which you fundamentally disagree with; it's damaging your well-being. That's what psychopaths yearn to do. He will act innocent no matter how bad things get. Don't accuse him of anything when you correspond with him; he will turn accusations into statements which won't seem right while you can't place why. And they will be totally avoiding the problem in the first place. They will confuse you. Nightmarish "mindfucks". He's mocking you. "whatts this"- he's not playing dumb, he's straight up mocking you. Seems like sarcasm, which given the circumstances is extremely inappropriate.. He may be a psychopath. Quite possibly a pervert. Don't act frustrated. Don't act any way out of the ordinary. Be neutral towards this situation, if not happy. Otherwise you're going to open up new options for him to harass you. And he will leave you with an experience you have to recover from. Where I live, landlords have to give written notice 24h (I think) prior to entering a tenants apartment. Violating that is grounds for terminating a lease, which you can apply to do while submitting evidence the infraction took place. Screenshots of the texts talking about him removing the curtains and him talking about what it looks like in your place may or may not constitute evidence. Depends on how exactly they are worded. If it's unclear he entered your apartment to remove them, he could just say he saw your place through the window and that's how he knows it looks messy (whether or not that's true- again, he's just playing with you like a psychopath would). | 0 | 14,971 | 3.516129 |
7bgy1s | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | New landlord hates privacy. Help I recently found myself needing a month to month lease for between six months to 14 months in Baltimore, which I was unfamiliar with. The apartment I found is a small efficiency in an older building. They agreed to a standard lease for the first six months, followed by month to month lease. I was to be the first tenant, when I toured it six weeks ago, workers were painting the rooms. The landlords son is living upstairs, and this is my landlords first time renting. The lease was obviously pulled from a form and seemed standard. There is a clause in the lease which states that I can't install curtains rods or hooks. This seemed standard as well, I had similar at my old apartment. I assumed there would be some sort of curtain provided, and this was in regards to additional curtains. I moved in Sunday, and found the landlord had not installed curtains at all. At this point, I assumed the issue with curtains was the potential to damage to the wall. So, I bought tension rods that require no hardware and used them to hang curtains. Monday afternoon I got a text from my landlord saying I needed to remove the curtains. The building is on a street corner with a fair amount of foot traffic. Between the four windows, you can see all of my apartment with the exception of the portion of the bathroom with the toilet and tub. Not only does this mean I have no privacy, but the neighborhood is slightly sketchy after dark. The nearby buildings have bars on their windows. Anyone passing by not only can see my possessions, but whether or not I am home. I expressed this to the landlord in my reply over text. He replied to reread my lease. I left them up overnight. I had orientation this morning and came back to find the curtains removed and no where in the apartment. I discovered this before entering the building, as two guys were outside one of my windows and looking in my apartment. They left when I entered the building. I messaged the landlord saying he didn't have the right to enter the apartment and asked for the curtains back. He again said to check my lease and then commented that I needed to finish unpacking as it looked messy in my apartment. I had to head to a work event so I couldn't follow through more, but I moved my electronics to one corner and used a bookshelf to block one of the windows so they weren't visible. While at the event, I got a text from the landlord with a picture of the blocked window, captioned "whatts this" What can I do to prevent my landlord from entering the apartment unannounced and to compel him to allow some form of curtain? Alternatively, how do I break my lease three days into it? This is too crazy for week one. | dpiiqe9 | dpifz55 | 1,510,124,548 | 1,510,119,264 | 218 | 34 | Look into tenancy law in Baltimore and find out whether or not you can apply to break the lease based on him entering your apartment without giving notice. I think you are in danger. I'm guessing you're female? This is throwing up so many red flags. Speculation: The landlord was probably planning to find a female and forbid her to install curtains before he even met you. He might want to watch you from a distance, maybe gets off on the idea of the helplessness you feel over having been stripped of privacy and maybe gets off on the idea of other people watching you. He's making changes to your life in controlling you in ways which you fundamentally disagree with; it's damaging your well-being. That's what psychopaths yearn to do. He will act innocent no matter how bad things get. Don't accuse him of anything when you correspond with him; he will turn accusations into statements which won't seem right while you can't place why. And they will be totally avoiding the problem in the first place. They will confuse you. Nightmarish "mindfucks". He's mocking you. "whatts this"- he's not playing dumb, he's straight up mocking you. Seems like sarcasm, which given the circumstances is extremely inappropriate.. He may be a psychopath. Quite possibly a pervert. Don't act frustrated. Don't act any way out of the ordinary. Be neutral towards this situation, if not happy. Otherwise you're going to open up new options for him to harass you. And he will leave you with an experience you have to recover from. Where I live, landlords have to give written notice 24h (I think) prior to entering a tenants apartment. Violating that is grounds for terminating a lease, which you can apply to do while submitting evidence the infraction took place. Screenshots of the texts talking about him removing the curtains and him talking about what it looks like in your place may or may not constitute evidence. Depends on how exactly they are worded. If it's unclear he entered your apartment to remove them, he could just say he saw your place through the window and that's how he knows it looks messy (whether or not that's true- again, he's just playing with you like a psychopath would). | Looks like the consensus is block the window with something outside of the prohibitions in your lease | 1 | 5,284 | 6.411765 |
7bgy1s | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | New landlord hates privacy. Help I recently found myself needing a month to month lease for between six months to 14 months in Baltimore, which I was unfamiliar with. The apartment I found is a small efficiency in an older building. They agreed to a standard lease for the first six months, followed by month to month lease. I was to be the first tenant, when I toured it six weeks ago, workers were painting the rooms. The landlords son is living upstairs, and this is my landlords first time renting. The lease was obviously pulled from a form and seemed standard. There is a clause in the lease which states that I can't install curtains rods or hooks. This seemed standard as well, I had similar at my old apartment. I assumed there would be some sort of curtain provided, and this was in regards to additional curtains. I moved in Sunday, and found the landlord had not installed curtains at all. At this point, I assumed the issue with curtains was the potential to damage to the wall. So, I bought tension rods that require no hardware and used them to hang curtains. Monday afternoon I got a text from my landlord saying I needed to remove the curtains. The building is on a street corner with a fair amount of foot traffic. Between the four windows, you can see all of my apartment with the exception of the portion of the bathroom with the toilet and tub. Not only does this mean I have no privacy, but the neighborhood is slightly sketchy after dark. The nearby buildings have bars on their windows. Anyone passing by not only can see my possessions, but whether or not I am home. I expressed this to the landlord in my reply over text. He replied to reread my lease. I left them up overnight. I had orientation this morning and came back to find the curtains removed and no where in the apartment. I discovered this before entering the building, as two guys were outside one of my windows and looking in my apartment. They left when I entered the building. I messaged the landlord saying he didn't have the right to enter the apartment and asked for the curtains back. He again said to check my lease and then commented that I needed to finish unpacking as it looked messy in my apartment. I had to head to a work event so I couldn't follow through more, but I moved my electronics to one corner and used a bookshelf to block one of the windows so they weren't visible. While at the event, I got a text from the landlord with a picture of the blocked window, captioned "whatts this" What can I do to prevent my landlord from entering the apartment unannounced and to compel him to allow some form of curtain? Alternatively, how do I break my lease three days into it? This is too crazy for week one. | dpibo03 | dpiatou | 1,510,113,056 | 1,510,111,995 | 112 | 88 | Put a couple of nails in the window frame, run a steel wire between them, and string your curtains on that. Wire is neither a rod nor a hook. When your landlord complains, tell him to read the lease. | If the lease says no curtain rods then I suppose tension doesn't work. What about buying plain flat sheets and just taping them up over the window (ala curtains)? He complains about THAT, tell him to read his lease. | 1 | 1,061 | 1.272727 |
7bgy1s | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | New landlord hates privacy. Help I recently found myself needing a month to month lease for between six months to 14 months in Baltimore, which I was unfamiliar with. The apartment I found is a small efficiency in an older building. They agreed to a standard lease for the first six months, followed by month to month lease. I was to be the first tenant, when I toured it six weeks ago, workers were painting the rooms. The landlords son is living upstairs, and this is my landlords first time renting. The lease was obviously pulled from a form and seemed standard. There is a clause in the lease which states that I can't install curtains rods or hooks. This seemed standard as well, I had similar at my old apartment. I assumed there would be some sort of curtain provided, and this was in regards to additional curtains. I moved in Sunday, and found the landlord had not installed curtains at all. At this point, I assumed the issue with curtains was the potential to damage to the wall. So, I bought tension rods that require no hardware and used them to hang curtains. Monday afternoon I got a text from my landlord saying I needed to remove the curtains. The building is on a street corner with a fair amount of foot traffic. Between the four windows, you can see all of my apartment with the exception of the portion of the bathroom with the toilet and tub. Not only does this mean I have no privacy, but the neighborhood is slightly sketchy after dark. The nearby buildings have bars on their windows. Anyone passing by not only can see my possessions, but whether or not I am home. I expressed this to the landlord in my reply over text. He replied to reread my lease. I left them up overnight. I had orientation this morning and came back to find the curtains removed and no where in the apartment. I discovered this before entering the building, as two guys were outside one of my windows and looking in my apartment. They left when I entered the building. I messaged the landlord saying he didn't have the right to enter the apartment and asked for the curtains back. He again said to check my lease and then commented that I needed to finish unpacking as it looked messy in my apartment. I had to head to a work event so I couldn't follow through more, but I moved my electronics to one corner and used a bookshelf to block one of the windows so they weren't visible. While at the event, I got a text from the landlord with a picture of the blocked window, captioned "whatts this" What can I do to prevent my landlord from entering the apartment unannounced and to compel him to allow some form of curtain? Alternatively, how do I break my lease three days into it? This is too crazy for week one. | dpi8s7a | dpibo03 | 1,510,109,577 | 1,510,113,056 | 62 | 112 | You can buy a spray that will make the glass hazy (like a bathroom window). It's removable. But yeah, your landlord sounds like a piece of work. Have you asked him directly how he expects you have privacy and avoid being a target for break-in? | Put a couple of nails in the window frame, run a steel wire between them, and string your curtains on that. Wire is neither a rod nor a hook. When your landlord complains, tell him to read the lease. | 0 | 3,479 | 1.806452 |
7bgy1s | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | New landlord hates privacy. Help I recently found myself needing a month to month lease for between six months to 14 months in Baltimore, which I was unfamiliar with. The apartment I found is a small efficiency in an older building. They agreed to a standard lease for the first six months, followed by month to month lease. I was to be the first tenant, when I toured it six weeks ago, workers were painting the rooms. The landlords son is living upstairs, and this is my landlords first time renting. The lease was obviously pulled from a form and seemed standard. There is a clause in the lease which states that I can't install curtains rods or hooks. This seemed standard as well, I had similar at my old apartment. I assumed there would be some sort of curtain provided, and this was in regards to additional curtains. I moved in Sunday, and found the landlord had not installed curtains at all. At this point, I assumed the issue with curtains was the potential to damage to the wall. So, I bought tension rods that require no hardware and used them to hang curtains. Monday afternoon I got a text from my landlord saying I needed to remove the curtains. The building is on a street corner with a fair amount of foot traffic. Between the four windows, you can see all of my apartment with the exception of the portion of the bathroom with the toilet and tub. Not only does this mean I have no privacy, but the neighborhood is slightly sketchy after dark. The nearby buildings have bars on their windows. Anyone passing by not only can see my possessions, but whether or not I am home. I expressed this to the landlord in my reply over text. He replied to reread my lease. I left them up overnight. I had orientation this morning and came back to find the curtains removed and no where in the apartment. I discovered this before entering the building, as two guys were outside one of my windows and looking in my apartment. They left when I entered the building. I messaged the landlord saying he didn't have the right to enter the apartment and asked for the curtains back. He again said to check my lease and then commented that I needed to finish unpacking as it looked messy in my apartment. I had to head to a work event so I couldn't follow through more, but I moved my electronics to one corner and used a bookshelf to block one of the windows so they weren't visible. While at the event, I got a text from the landlord with a picture of the blocked window, captioned "whatts this" What can I do to prevent my landlord from entering the apartment unannounced and to compel him to allow some form of curtain? Alternatively, how do I break my lease three days into it? This is too crazy for week one. | dpi8s7a | dpiatou | 1,510,109,577 | 1,510,111,995 | 62 | 88 | You can buy a spray that will make the glass hazy (like a bathroom window). It's removable. But yeah, your landlord sounds like a piece of work. Have you asked him directly how he expects you have privacy and avoid being a target for break-in? | If the lease says no curtain rods then I suppose tension doesn't work. What about buying plain flat sheets and just taping them up over the window (ala curtains)? He complains about THAT, tell him to read his lease. | 0 | 2,418 | 1.419355 |
7bgy1s | legaladvice_train | 0.99 | New landlord hates privacy. Help I recently found myself needing a month to month lease for between six months to 14 months in Baltimore, which I was unfamiliar with. The apartment I found is a small efficiency in an older building. They agreed to a standard lease for the first six months, followed by month to month lease. I was to be the first tenant, when I toured it six weeks ago, workers were painting the rooms. The landlords son is living upstairs, and this is my landlords first time renting. The lease was obviously pulled from a form and seemed standard. There is a clause in the lease which states that I can't install curtains rods or hooks. This seemed standard as well, I had similar at my old apartment. I assumed there would be some sort of curtain provided, and this was in regards to additional curtains. I moved in Sunday, and found the landlord had not installed curtains at all. At this point, I assumed the issue with curtains was the potential to damage to the wall. So, I bought tension rods that require no hardware and used them to hang curtains. Monday afternoon I got a text from my landlord saying I needed to remove the curtains. The building is on a street corner with a fair amount of foot traffic. Between the four windows, you can see all of my apartment with the exception of the portion of the bathroom with the toilet and tub. Not only does this mean I have no privacy, but the neighborhood is slightly sketchy after dark. The nearby buildings have bars on their windows. Anyone passing by not only can see my possessions, but whether or not I am home. I expressed this to the landlord in my reply over text. He replied to reread my lease. I left them up overnight. I had orientation this morning and came back to find the curtains removed and no where in the apartment. I discovered this before entering the building, as two guys were outside one of my windows and looking in my apartment. They left when I entered the building. I messaged the landlord saying he didn't have the right to enter the apartment and asked for the curtains back. He again said to check my lease and then commented that I needed to finish unpacking as it looked messy in my apartment. I had to head to a work event so I couldn't follow through more, but I moved my electronics to one corner and used a bookshelf to block one of the windows so they weren't visible. While at the event, I got a text from the landlord with a picture of the blocked window, captioned "whatts this" What can I do to prevent my landlord from entering the apartment unannounced and to compel him to allow some form of curtain? Alternatively, how do I break my lease three days into it? This is too crazy for week one. | dpifz55 | dpjb1rh | 1,510,119,264 | 1,510,167,450 | 34 | 35 | Looks like the consensus is block the window with something outside of the prohibitions in your lease | Tape aluminum foil or parchment paper to cover the windows. I doubt it's against the lease. I'd also file a police report over the stolen curtains, if they tell you it's a civil matter ask for a supervisor. It might also be a good idea to express your worries about the landlord entering your apartment without notice, be honest about how creeped out you are. Before you leave home I suggest taking pictures of what's inside your drawers just so you'll be able to see if anything moved. If your drawers are neat and orderly, throw in some torn up pieces of paper or post it notes that are different shapes and sizes. You may also want to leave a motion activated trail camera somewhere in your house so you can see if he's entering while you're not home. I'd point it towards the entrance, or facing towards your bedroom door. Also I would respond to that text with "Privacy from creeps." If he tells you to move the bookshelf simply reply with "No, read the lease." You're going to absolutely want to try to get out of this lease as soon as possible, this landlord seems really creepy. | 0 | 48,186 | 1.029412 |
6y08jw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My father passed away a decade ago, told me he was leaving a trust to be given to me at 30/35/40. Stepmother said, “That’s not happening anymore.” (It was suggested in r/personalfinance that I post this here.) Throwaway for privacy. I’ll do my best to keep this short. My father died when I was 17. Stepmother kicked me out before I turned 18. I slept in my car while I figured out what to do—for a while I was in denial that all of it was happening. Finally told some family members and they took me in. Fast forward, I’m 30 now. I asked my stepmother about the trust, she told me that it wasn’t happening anymore. That I’d “get everything when she dies.” (She’s older, in her 70s.) My best friend, wife, and cousins are telling me to get a lawyer. I’m hesitant, however, because if she truly does have control and I piss her off then I might end up with zero. On the flip side, she has a history of treating me badly. What do I do? Is there any way to find out what's actually supposed to come my way? Does she really have that much control over when the trust is given to me? Edit: Location - New Jersey (her) and New York (me) | dmjpzg0 | dmjpb0t | 1,504,532,022 | 1,504,530,855 | 1,677 | 98 | >Does she really have that much control over when the trust is given to me? That depends entirely on the terms of the trust. She could have zero, some, or absolute discretion. She might not even be the trustee. There might not even be a trust. There might be a trust and she stole all of the property in it. That's why you need to consult a lawyer. | Was your father's estate probated? | 1 | 1,167 | 17.112245 |
6y08jw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My father passed away a decade ago, told me he was leaving a trust to be given to me at 30/35/40. Stepmother said, “That’s not happening anymore.” (It was suggested in r/personalfinance that I post this here.) Throwaway for privacy. I’ll do my best to keep this short. My father died when I was 17. Stepmother kicked me out before I turned 18. I slept in my car while I figured out what to do—for a while I was in denial that all of it was happening. Finally told some family members and they took me in. Fast forward, I’m 30 now. I asked my stepmother about the trust, she told me that it wasn’t happening anymore. That I’d “get everything when she dies.” (She’s older, in her 70s.) My best friend, wife, and cousins are telling me to get a lawyer. I’m hesitant, however, because if she truly does have control and I piss her off then I might end up with zero. On the flip side, she has a history of treating me badly. What do I do? Is there any way to find out what's actually supposed to come my way? Does she really have that much control over when the trust is given to me? Edit: Location - New Jersey (her) and New York (me) | dmk3q8w | dmk8auy | 1,504,549,625 | 1,504,555,169 | 24 | 35 | You have gotten excellent advice. Sadly, in many, many families once a death occurs the horridness of people comes clearly to light. So yep, get a copy of the will, get an estate attorney, if Dad left everything in HER hands, <sigh> who knows? But if he did provide for you in his will, she legally has to follow that. Finally: When your wife, your best friend AND your cousins recommend a lawyer, listen to them :) Good luck. | IamaL but not in NY or NJ although a lot of my work is there. You need a lawyer in the state in which your father likely made the trust. Basic law school stuff: A trust mean the settlor ( he who forms the trust, your dad) designates property or money ( called the corpus) to be held by a 3rd person (trustee) for the use and benefit of the beneficiary ( you). In every state where I have had to look at this, the trustee has a fiduciary duty to put the beneficiary's interests above his (the trustee's) own. Legal people- and judges- take fiduciary duties really really seriously. Occasionally you hear of parents who have control over a kid's money who blow through it even if it is in a trust. (Settlements for bad injuries to kids that are supposed to support them for life get used for Vegas trips and Winnebagos etc) The parents or trustees who pull that never. ever. win. Ever. You could also Google Jackie Coogan's law in CA although I don't think that started with a trust., but it is still pertinenet Without knowing what exactly your Dad's trust said , I can't say more and beside my ethics rules prohibit me from making fact specific recommendations in an on line place like this. Bottom line. Find a lawyer. Start here: www.Martindale.com. Filter for Find a lawyer, a larger town near where your dad lived and Wills and Estates. If there is an Estate or Probate litigation choice, go in that direction. When you call, ask if there is an initial consultation fee, how they would charge you and whether they have a conflict of interest taking a matter against StepMother. If you have gotten on line input, print it all and give it to the lawyer so they know what misconceptions to correct. That helps a lot. Good luck | 0 | 5,544 | 1.458333 |
6y08jw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My father passed away a decade ago, told me he was leaving a trust to be given to me at 30/35/40. Stepmother said, “That’s not happening anymore.” (It was suggested in r/personalfinance that I post this here.) Throwaway for privacy. I’ll do my best to keep this short. My father died when I was 17. Stepmother kicked me out before I turned 18. I slept in my car while I figured out what to do—for a while I was in denial that all of it was happening. Finally told some family members and they took me in. Fast forward, I’m 30 now. I asked my stepmother about the trust, she told me that it wasn’t happening anymore. That I’d “get everything when she dies.” (She’s older, in her 70s.) My best friend, wife, and cousins are telling me to get a lawyer. I’m hesitant, however, because if she truly does have control and I piss her off then I might end up with zero. On the flip side, she has a history of treating me badly. What do I do? Is there any way to find out what's actually supposed to come my way? Does she really have that much control over when the trust is given to me? Edit: Location - New Jersey (her) and New York (me) | dmk8auy | dmk5gax | 1,504,555,169 | 1,504,551,739 | 35 | 11 | IamaL but not in NY or NJ although a lot of my work is there. You need a lawyer in the state in which your father likely made the trust. Basic law school stuff: A trust mean the settlor ( he who forms the trust, your dad) designates property or money ( called the corpus) to be held by a 3rd person (trustee) for the use and benefit of the beneficiary ( you). In every state where I have had to look at this, the trustee has a fiduciary duty to put the beneficiary's interests above his (the trustee's) own. Legal people- and judges- take fiduciary duties really really seriously. Occasionally you hear of parents who have control over a kid's money who blow through it even if it is in a trust. (Settlements for bad injuries to kids that are supposed to support them for life get used for Vegas trips and Winnebagos etc) The parents or trustees who pull that never. ever. win. Ever. You could also Google Jackie Coogan's law in CA although I don't think that started with a trust., but it is still pertinenet Without knowing what exactly your Dad's trust said , I can't say more and beside my ethics rules prohibit me from making fact specific recommendations in an on line place like this. Bottom line. Find a lawyer. Start here: www.Martindale.com. Filter for Find a lawyer, a larger town near where your dad lived and Wills and Estates. If there is an Estate or Probate litigation choice, go in that direction. When you call, ask if there is an initial consultation fee, how they would charge you and whether they have a conflict of interest taking a matter against StepMother. If you have gotten on line input, print it all and give it to the lawyer so they know what misconceptions to correct. That helps a lot. Good luck | You realize, of course, that a lawyer won't do anything with out your approval and will weigh risks with you like the one mentioned above. They will have a clear understanding of inheritance law for your area. There's no harm in consulting a lawyer in the way that you're asking for advice here. Your Stepmother will never know. | 1 | 3,430 | 3.181818 |
6y08jw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My father passed away a decade ago, told me he was leaving a trust to be given to me at 30/35/40. Stepmother said, “That’s not happening anymore.” (It was suggested in r/personalfinance that I post this here.) Throwaway for privacy. I’ll do my best to keep this short. My father died when I was 17. Stepmother kicked me out before I turned 18. I slept in my car while I figured out what to do—for a while I was in denial that all of it was happening. Finally told some family members and they took me in. Fast forward, I’m 30 now. I asked my stepmother about the trust, she told me that it wasn’t happening anymore. That I’d “get everything when she dies.” (She’s older, in her 70s.) My best friend, wife, and cousins are telling me to get a lawyer. I’m hesitant, however, because if she truly does have control and I piss her off then I might end up with zero. On the flip side, she has a history of treating me badly. What do I do? Is there any way to find out what's actually supposed to come my way? Does she really have that much control over when the trust is given to me? Edit: Location - New Jersey (her) and New York (me) | dmk0vjq | dmk8auy | 1,504,546,167 | 1,504,555,169 | 8 | 35 | Find out now, view the actual will, before all the money's gone. | IamaL but not in NY or NJ although a lot of my work is there. You need a lawyer in the state in which your father likely made the trust. Basic law school stuff: A trust mean the settlor ( he who forms the trust, your dad) designates property or money ( called the corpus) to be held by a 3rd person (trustee) for the use and benefit of the beneficiary ( you). In every state where I have had to look at this, the trustee has a fiduciary duty to put the beneficiary's interests above his (the trustee's) own. Legal people- and judges- take fiduciary duties really really seriously. Occasionally you hear of parents who have control over a kid's money who blow through it even if it is in a trust. (Settlements for bad injuries to kids that are supposed to support them for life get used for Vegas trips and Winnebagos etc) The parents or trustees who pull that never. ever. win. Ever. You could also Google Jackie Coogan's law in CA although I don't think that started with a trust., but it is still pertinenet Without knowing what exactly your Dad's trust said , I can't say more and beside my ethics rules prohibit me from making fact specific recommendations in an on line place like this. Bottom line. Find a lawyer. Start here: www.Martindale.com. Filter for Find a lawyer, a larger town near where your dad lived and Wills and Estates. If there is an Estate or Probate litigation choice, go in that direction. When you call, ask if there is an initial consultation fee, how they would charge you and whether they have a conflict of interest taking a matter against StepMother. If you have gotten on line input, print it all and give it to the lawyer so they know what misconceptions to correct. That helps a lot. Good luck | 0 | 9,002 | 4.375 |
6y08jw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My father passed away a decade ago, told me he was leaving a trust to be given to me at 30/35/40. Stepmother said, “That’s not happening anymore.” (It was suggested in r/personalfinance that I post this here.) Throwaway for privacy. I’ll do my best to keep this short. My father died when I was 17. Stepmother kicked me out before I turned 18. I slept in my car while I figured out what to do—for a while I was in denial that all of it was happening. Finally told some family members and they took me in. Fast forward, I’m 30 now. I asked my stepmother about the trust, she told me that it wasn’t happening anymore. That I’d “get everything when she dies.” (She’s older, in her 70s.) My best friend, wife, and cousins are telling me to get a lawyer. I’m hesitant, however, because if she truly does have control and I piss her off then I might end up with zero. On the flip side, she has a history of treating me badly. What do I do? Is there any way to find out what's actually supposed to come my way? Does she really have that much control over when the trust is given to me? Edit: Location - New Jersey (her) and New York (me) | dmk8auy | dmk4pdb | 1,504,555,169 | 1,504,550,831 | 35 | 9 | IamaL but not in NY or NJ although a lot of my work is there. You need a lawyer in the state in which your father likely made the trust. Basic law school stuff: A trust mean the settlor ( he who forms the trust, your dad) designates property or money ( called the corpus) to be held by a 3rd person (trustee) for the use and benefit of the beneficiary ( you). In every state where I have had to look at this, the trustee has a fiduciary duty to put the beneficiary's interests above his (the trustee's) own. Legal people- and judges- take fiduciary duties really really seriously. Occasionally you hear of parents who have control over a kid's money who blow through it even if it is in a trust. (Settlements for bad injuries to kids that are supposed to support them for life get used for Vegas trips and Winnebagos etc) The parents or trustees who pull that never. ever. win. Ever. You could also Google Jackie Coogan's law in CA although I don't think that started with a trust., but it is still pertinenet Without knowing what exactly your Dad's trust said , I can't say more and beside my ethics rules prohibit me from making fact specific recommendations in an on line place like this. Bottom line. Find a lawyer. Start here: www.Martindale.com. Filter for Find a lawyer, a larger town near where your dad lived and Wills and Estates. If there is an Estate or Probate litigation choice, go in that direction. When you call, ask if there is an initial consultation fee, how they would charge you and whether they have a conflict of interest taking a matter against StepMother. If you have gotten on line input, print it all and give it to the lawyer so they know what misconceptions to correct. That helps a lot. Good luck | This is a job for a trusts & estates attorney. Your step mother can't simply say, "that's not happening, anymore." She can't simply dissolve a trust on a whim. If she did not comply with her obligations as trustee, she committed fraud and theft. If she can't account for what happened to every penny left to you by your father, she's going to owe you a shit-load of money. | 1 | 4,338 | 3.888889 |
6y08jw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My father passed away a decade ago, told me he was leaving a trust to be given to me at 30/35/40. Stepmother said, “That’s not happening anymore.” (It was suggested in r/personalfinance that I post this here.) Throwaway for privacy. I’ll do my best to keep this short. My father died when I was 17. Stepmother kicked me out before I turned 18. I slept in my car while I figured out what to do—for a while I was in denial that all of it was happening. Finally told some family members and they took me in. Fast forward, I’m 30 now. I asked my stepmother about the trust, she told me that it wasn’t happening anymore. That I’d “get everything when she dies.” (She’s older, in her 70s.) My best friend, wife, and cousins are telling me to get a lawyer. I’m hesitant, however, because if she truly does have control and I piss her off then I might end up with zero. On the flip side, she has a history of treating me badly. What do I do? Is there any way to find out what's actually supposed to come my way? Does she really have that much control over when the trust is given to me? Edit: Location - New Jersey (her) and New York (me) | dmk0vjq | dmk3q8w | 1,504,546,167 | 1,504,549,625 | 8 | 24 | Find out now, view the actual will, before all the money's gone. | You have gotten excellent advice. Sadly, in many, many families once a death occurs the horridness of people comes clearly to light. So yep, get a copy of the will, get an estate attorney, if Dad left everything in HER hands, <sigh> who knows? But if he did provide for you in his will, she legally has to follow that. Finally: When your wife, your best friend AND your cousins recommend a lawyer, listen to them :) Good luck. | 0 | 3,458 | 3 |
6y08jw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My father passed away a decade ago, told me he was leaving a trust to be given to me at 30/35/40. Stepmother said, “That’s not happening anymore.” (It was suggested in r/personalfinance that I post this here.) Throwaway for privacy. I’ll do my best to keep this short. My father died when I was 17. Stepmother kicked me out before I turned 18. I slept in my car while I figured out what to do—for a while I was in denial that all of it was happening. Finally told some family members and they took me in. Fast forward, I’m 30 now. I asked my stepmother about the trust, she told me that it wasn’t happening anymore. That I’d “get everything when she dies.” (She’s older, in her 70s.) My best friend, wife, and cousins are telling me to get a lawyer. I’m hesitant, however, because if she truly does have control and I piss her off then I might end up with zero. On the flip side, she has a history of treating me badly. What do I do? Is there any way to find out what's actually supposed to come my way? Does she really have that much control over when the trust is given to me? Edit: Location - New Jersey (her) and New York (me) | dmkchen | dmk5gax | 1,504,560,363 | 1,504,551,739 | 14 | 11 | Please post updates. | You realize, of course, that a lawyer won't do anything with out your approval and will weigh risks with you like the one mentioned above. They will have a clear understanding of inheritance law for your area. There's no harm in consulting a lawyer in the way that you're asking for advice here. Your Stepmother will never know. | 1 | 8,624 | 1.272727 |
6y08jw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My father passed away a decade ago, told me he was leaving a trust to be given to me at 30/35/40. Stepmother said, “That’s not happening anymore.” (It was suggested in r/personalfinance that I post this here.) Throwaway for privacy. I’ll do my best to keep this short. My father died when I was 17. Stepmother kicked me out before I turned 18. I slept in my car while I figured out what to do—for a while I was in denial that all of it was happening. Finally told some family members and they took me in. Fast forward, I’m 30 now. I asked my stepmother about the trust, she told me that it wasn’t happening anymore. That I’d “get everything when she dies.” (She’s older, in her 70s.) My best friend, wife, and cousins are telling me to get a lawyer. I’m hesitant, however, because if she truly does have control and I piss her off then I might end up with zero. On the flip side, she has a history of treating me badly. What do I do? Is there any way to find out what's actually supposed to come my way? Does she really have that much control over when the trust is given to me? Edit: Location - New Jersey (her) and New York (me) | dmk0vjq | dmkchen | 1,504,546,167 | 1,504,560,363 | 8 | 14 | Find out now, view the actual will, before all the money's gone. | Please post updates. | 0 | 14,196 | 1.75 |
6y08jw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My father passed away a decade ago, told me he was leaving a trust to be given to me at 30/35/40. Stepmother said, “That’s not happening anymore.” (It was suggested in r/personalfinance that I post this here.) Throwaway for privacy. I’ll do my best to keep this short. My father died when I was 17. Stepmother kicked me out before I turned 18. I slept in my car while I figured out what to do—for a while I was in denial that all of it was happening. Finally told some family members and they took me in. Fast forward, I’m 30 now. I asked my stepmother about the trust, she told me that it wasn’t happening anymore. That I’d “get everything when she dies.” (She’s older, in her 70s.) My best friend, wife, and cousins are telling me to get a lawyer. I’m hesitant, however, because if she truly does have control and I piss her off then I might end up with zero. On the flip side, she has a history of treating me badly. What do I do? Is there any way to find out what's actually supposed to come my way? Does she really have that much control over when the trust is given to me? Edit: Location - New Jersey (her) and New York (me) | dmkchen | dmk4pdb | 1,504,560,363 | 1,504,550,831 | 14 | 9 | Please post updates. | This is a job for a trusts & estates attorney. Your step mother can't simply say, "that's not happening, anymore." She can't simply dissolve a trust on a whim. If she did not comply with her obligations as trustee, she committed fraud and theft. If she can't account for what happened to every penny left to you by your father, she's going to owe you a shit-load of money. | 1 | 9,532 | 1.555556 |
6y08jw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My father passed away a decade ago, told me he was leaving a trust to be given to me at 30/35/40. Stepmother said, “That’s not happening anymore.” (It was suggested in r/personalfinance that I post this here.) Throwaway for privacy. I’ll do my best to keep this short. My father died when I was 17. Stepmother kicked me out before I turned 18. I slept in my car while I figured out what to do—for a while I was in denial that all of it was happening. Finally told some family members and they took me in. Fast forward, I’m 30 now. I asked my stepmother about the trust, she told me that it wasn’t happening anymore. That I’d “get everything when she dies.” (She’s older, in her 70s.) My best friend, wife, and cousins are telling me to get a lawyer. I’m hesitant, however, because if she truly does have control and I piss her off then I might end up with zero. On the flip side, she has a history of treating me badly. What do I do? Is there any way to find out what's actually supposed to come my way? Does she really have that much control over when the trust is given to me? Edit: Location - New Jersey (her) and New York (me) | dmk0vjq | dmk5gax | 1,504,546,167 | 1,504,551,739 | 8 | 11 | Find out now, view the actual will, before all the money's gone. | You realize, of course, that a lawyer won't do anything with out your approval and will weigh risks with you like the one mentioned above. They will have a clear understanding of inheritance law for your area. There's no harm in consulting a lawyer in the way that you're asking for advice here. Your Stepmother will never know. | 0 | 5,572 | 1.375 |
6y08jw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My father passed away a decade ago, told me he was leaving a trust to be given to me at 30/35/40. Stepmother said, “That’s not happening anymore.” (It was suggested in r/personalfinance that I post this here.) Throwaway for privacy. I’ll do my best to keep this short. My father died when I was 17. Stepmother kicked me out before I turned 18. I slept in my car while I figured out what to do—for a while I was in denial that all of it was happening. Finally told some family members and they took me in. Fast forward, I’m 30 now. I asked my stepmother about the trust, she told me that it wasn’t happening anymore. That I’d “get everything when she dies.” (She’s older, in her 70s.) My best friend, wife, and cousins are telling me to get a lawyer. I’m hesitant, however, because if she truly does have control and I piss her off then I might end up with zero. On the flip side, she has a history of treating me badly. What do I do? Is there any way to find out what's actually supposed to come my way? Does she really have that much control over when the trust is given to me? Edit: Location - New Jersey (her) and New York (me) | dmk5gax | dmk4pdb | 1,504,551,739 | 1,504,550,831 | 11 | 9 | You realize, of course, that a lawyer won't do anything with out your approval and will weigh risks with you like the one mentioned above. They will have a clear understanding of inheritance law for your area. There's no harm in consulting a lawyer in the way that you're asking for advice here. Your Stepmother will never know. | This is a job for a trusts & estates attorney. Your step mother can't simply say, "that's not happening, anymore." She can't simply dissolve a trust on a whim. If she did not comply with her obligations as trustee, she committed fraud and theft. If she can't account for what happened to every penny left to you by your father, she's going to owe you a shit-load of money. | 1 | 908 | 1.222222 |
6y08jw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My father passed away a decade ago, told me he was leaving a trust to be given to me at 30/35/40. Stepmother said, “That’s not happening anymore.” (It was suggested in r/personalfinance that I post this here.) Throwaway for privacy. I’ll do my best to keep this short. My father died when I was 17. Stepmother kicked me out before I turned 18. I slept in my car while I figured out what to do—for a while I was in denial that all of it was happening. Finally told some family members and they took me in. Fast forward, I’m 30 now. I asked my stepmother about the trust, she told me that it wasn’t happening anymore. That I’d “get everything when she dies.” (She’s older, in her 70s.) My best friend, wife, and cousins are telling me to get a lawyer. I’m hesitant, however, because if she truly does have control and I piss her off then I might end up with zero. On the flip side, she has a history of treating me badly. What do I do? Is there any way to find out what's actually supposed to come my way? Does she really have that much control over when the trust is given to me? Edit: Location - New Jersey (her) and New York (me) | dmk4pdb | dmk0vjq | 1,504,550,831 | 1,504,546,167 | 9 | 8 | This is a job for a trusts & estates attorney. Your step mother can't simply say, "that's not happening, anymore." She can't simply dissolve a trust on a whim. If she did not comply with her obligations as trustee, she committed fraud and theft. If she can't account for what happened to every penny left to you by your father, she's going to owe you a shit-load of money. | Find out now, view the actual will, before all the money's gone. | 1 | 4,664 | 1.125 |
5zd3yw | legaladvice_train | 0.89 | Is it legal to put a nanny cam in the bedroom? So, I work for a home healthcare company and one of my clients has a nanny cam installed in the living room. I was informed of this before I went. However, there was recently an e-mail sent out to myself and the other caregivers who have this client stating that basically we're not allowed to sleep during our shifts and a reminded that there are cameras through out the house so they'll know who it is and so on. That's all well and good, but my question is, is it legal for them to have a camera in a bedroom in the house? The night time caregivers are allowed to wear loungewear within reason so I've been changing in that room for six months. I feel incredibly uncomfortable with the whole situation. Not that I'm doing anything wrong, it's just that constantly being recorded gives me the jeebies. I live in Ohio if that's relevant. I know nanny cams are legal and they don't have to inform you, I'm just wondering if that applies for bedrooms or places where people would expect at least a basically level of privacy. | dex4tyh | dex4n1s | 1,489,509,487 | 1,489,509,276 | 233 | 15 | An expectation of privacy anywhere in someone else's bedroom is probably not reasonable; if anything, a bedroom would probably be MORE likely to have a camera because that's where things people like to videotape are. Their secure possessions like jewelry boxes and the cash sock, of course. What were you thinking? Change in the bathroom. | I am confused, whose bedroom is it? Are you going to a clients home? | 1 | 211 | 15.533333 |
5zd3yw | legaladvice_train | 0.89 | Is it legal to put a nanny cam in the bedroom? So, I work for a home healthcare company and one of my clients has a nanny cam installed in the living room. I was informed of this before I went. However, there was recently an e-mail sent out to myself and the other caregivers who have this client stating that basically we're not allowed to sleep during our shifts and a reminded that there are cameras through out the house so they'll know who it is and so on. That's all well and good, but my question is, is it legal for them to have a camera in a bedroom in the house? The night time caregivers are allowed to wear loungewear within reason so I've been changing in that room for six months. I feel incredibly uncomfortable with the whole situation. Not that I'm doing anything wrong, it's just that constantly being recorded gives me the jeebies. I live in Ohio if that's relevant. I know nanny cams are legal and they don't have to inform you, I'm just wondering if that applies for bedrooms or places where people would expect at least a basically level of privacy. | dex4wir | dex4n1s | 1,489,509,565 | 1,489,509,276 | 76 | 15 | INAL but maybe you should change in the bathroom if you are concerned. As far as I'm aware, that is one room they cannot legally put a hidden camera. Not really sure on the bedroom part though if you've already been made aware that you are being recorded throughout the house. Maybe someone here will have better info for your state. | I am confused, whose bedroom is it? Are you going to a clients home? | 1 | 289 | 5.066667 |
5zd3yw | legaladvice_train | 0.89 | Is it legal to put a nanny cam in the bedroom? So, I work for a home healthcare company and one of my clients has a nanny cam installed in the living room. I was informed of this before I went. However, there was recently an e-mail sent out to myself and the other caregivers who have this client stating that basically we're not allowed to sleep during our shifts and a reminded that there are cameras through out the house so they'll know who it is and so on. That's all well and good, but my question is, is it legal for them to have a camera in a bedroom in the house? The night time caregivers are allowed to wear loungewear within reason so I've been changing in that room for six months. I feel incredibly uncomfortable with the whole situation. Not that I'm doing anything wrong, it's just that constantly being recorded gives me the jeebies. I live in Ohio if that's relevant. I know nanny cams are legal and they don't have to inform you, I'm just wondering if that applies for bedrooms or places where people would expect at least a basically level of privacy. | dex4n1s | dex9vf8 | 1,489,509,276 | 1,489,515,025 | 15 | 30 | I am confused, whose bedroom is it? Are you going to a clients home? | In what world are you expecting privacy in *someone else's bedroom*? | 0 | 5,749 | 2 |
a2xhiw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Fiancé’s mother who has dementia was found in her bedroom with a housekeeper who had his pants down. (San Jose, CA) As the title says, her nursing home facility noticed she was missing from a group singing ever (which she never misses) so they went to look for her and found her on the bed and a housekeeper of the facility had his pants down. The arrested him and his mom says he has been hugging her and kissing her over the past year and she didn’t want it but obviously she has dementia and doesn’t think clearly so she didn’t tell anyone. I am shocked and we are at a loss of what to do. She says nothing happened but should we get a rape kit since her memory is faulty and she could be wrong? She is sleeping now and has sundowning syndrome, should she be woken up and taken? What charges are to be pressed? Against the facility? Just the man? I am shocked and disgusted and would love any guidance possible. Thank you. | eb21s21 | eb20s5b | 1,543,908,998 | 1,543,907,365 | 73 | 22 | Contact adult protective services for your county and file a report for suspected elder abuse. They will investigate. You do not need hard evidence, just reasonable suspicion. There is likely a case open already, but if not there should be. https://www.sccgov.org/sites/ssa/daas/aps/Pages/report.aspx If applicable, also call and report to CCLD. https://www.cdss.ca.gov/inforesources/CCLD-Complaint-Hotline I would take her because she needs to be tested for Hepatitis C, Syphillis, HIV and potentially given Truvada if she is at risk of getting a serious STI. | INAL, but get a lawyer now and if you haven't already or if the facility hasn't, call the police and file a report. I'm unsure if they can perform a rape kit unless this happened today or she hasn't bathed since he was caught with her. At the very least, she needs to have a full STD/STI panel done for her protection. Also, if the facility does her laundry, I would grab all of it before it gets laundered on the off chance the police request it. A lawyer can walk you through what to expect during an investigation, court case, settlement, etc. Do not speak to the facility about anything without first clearing it with your lawyer or having him/her present during all communications. The facility's lawyers will be in damage control and will be looking to protect the facility. It is a business and the lawyers are paid big bucks to keep them in business. You also should think about what you want to do regarding your mother's care in the future. If this has been going on for as long as your mother has stated it was, if possible, I would probably move her into a different facility. | 1 | 1,633 | 3.318182 |
a2xhiw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Fiancé’s mother who has dementia was found in her bedroom with a housekeeper who had his pants down. (San Jose, CA) As the title says, her nursing home facility noticed she was missing from a group singing ever (which she never misses) so they went to look for her and found her on the bed and a housekeeper of the facility had his pants down. The arrested him and his mom says he has been hugging her and kissing her over the past year and she didn’t want it but obviously she has dementia and doesn’t think clearly so she didn’t tell anyone. I am shocked and we are at a loss of what to do. She says nothing happened but should we get a rape kit since her memory is faulty and she could be wrong? She is sleeping now and has sundowning syndrome, should she be woken up and taken? What charges are to be pressed? Against the facility? Just the man? I am shocked and disgusted and would love any guidance possible. Thank you. | eb2s2op | eb2p8lj | 1,543,942,020 | 1,543,939,847 | 8 | 2 | This is unfortunately much more common than you'd realize. Contact Adult Protective Services. They deal with this every day. Don't put yourself in a position to do it all. If you think they're not doing enough, then you can step in to push. | I echo what the other posters said, you should take her to a doctor ASAP to get checked to make sure she is healthy and was not sexually assaulted. Then I would find a lawyer ASAP. If this is happening to your MIL it very well may be happening to multiple patients in the nursing home that cannot voice the abuse. You should sue both the employee and the employer because the employer has a duty to protect your MIL in the nursing home facility. | 1 | 2,173 | 4 |
a2xhiw | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Fiancé’s mother who has dementia was found in her bedroom with a housekeeper who had his pants down. (San Jose, CA) As the title says, her nursing home facility noticed she was missing from a group singing ever (which she never misses) so they went to look for her and found her on the bed and a housekeeper of the facility had his pants down. The arrested him and his mom says he has been hugging her and kissing her over the past year and she didn’t want it but obviously she has dementia and doesn’t think clearly so she didn’t tell anyone. I am shocked and we are at a loss of what to do. She says nothing happened but should we get a rape kit since her memory is faulty and she could be wrong? She is sleeping now and has sundowning syndrome, should she be woken up and taken? What charges are to be pressed? Against the facility? Just the man? I am shocked and disgusted and would love any guidance possible. Thank you. | eb2p8lj | eb39mrc | 1,543,939,847 | 1,543,955,069 | 2 | 3 | I echo what the other posters said, you should take her to a doctor ASAP to get checked to make sure she is healthy and was not sexually assaulted. Then I would find a lawyer ASAP. If this is happening to your MIL it very well may be happening to multiple patients in the nursing home that cannot voice the abuse. You should sue both the employee and the employer because the employer has a duty to protect your MIL in the nursing home facility. | Hi I work for department of social services and you should call your county dss and make an APS report and also a complaint on the facility if it an assisted living or call the state if it is a nursing home. They will do their own investigation. | 0 | 15,222 | 1.5 |
u6dke5 | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | My ex is threatening me with legal action due to my kids not wanting to visit him whilst he’s with his partner Recently I had found out my ex has been cheating on me for the last 5 years and has hidden a child with this woman for the last 4 years. Due to this I obviously don’t want my kids to see this woman ever and my kids feel the same way. But now he’s threatening us with legal action and if the kids don’t want to see this woman then they’ll have to “suck it up” and basically pretend to like her. Considering they are both u16 can he physically force the children to visit whilst his partner is there. I want them to visit him but I also don’t want them anywhere near her but I know that I can’t legally enforce that nor can I influence the child’s decision but if they decide on their own can he still make them visit her? | i58kwxv | i58jfxd | 1,650,305,646 | 1,650,305,058 | 34 | 28 | This sounds like a recent break up. Custody and visitation are things that will be decided in court over the course of your custody and divorce proceedings. You should definitely record these conversations with your ex and bring them to your lawyer as evidence that their father does not have the kid's best interests in heart. At 16 your kids will also get a say in their own custody arrangements, so don't worry that their opinions will be disregarded. If you don't already have a lawyer and are just trying to figure out an arrangement on your own with your ex, this is a mistake and will not serve you or your kids well. Talk to a lawyer ASAP your ex husband has fiduciary responsibilities to you and your children, and his infidelity will go a long way towards getting you what you want out of this. If you're worried about affording a lawyer please speak to your local legal aid office to see what low-cost options there are. Divorce and custody lawyers deal with situations like yours all the time and there will be options. | >they’ll have to “suck it up” and basically pretend to like her. Being with their father while he's with his new girlfriend/wife/whatever is not the same thing as having to pretend to like her You and your kids have to follow whatever the court mandated visitation arrangements are, unless there's abuse happening (and in that case you should call the police). But, they don't have to act or pretend to act any certain way while there | 1 | 588 | 1.214286 |
u6dke5 | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | My ex is threatening me with legal action due to my kids not wanting to visit him whilst he’s with his partner Recently I had found out my ex has been cheating on me for the last 5 years and has hidden a child with this woman for the last 4 years. Due to this I obviously don’t want my kids to see this woman ever and my kids feel the same way. But now he’s threatening us with legal action and if the kids don’t want to see this woman then they’ll have to “suck it up” and basically pretend to like her. Considering they are both u16 can he physically force the children to visit whilst his partner is there. I want them to visit him but I also don’t want them anywhere near her but I know that I can’t legally enforce that nor can I influence the child’s decision but if they decide on their own can he still make them visit her? | i58kwxv | i57j7di | 1,650,305,646 | 1,650,290,290 | 34 | 24 | This sounds like a recent break up. Custody and visitation are things that will be decided in court over the course of your custody and divorce proceedings. You should definitely record these conversations with your ex and bring them to your lawyer as evidence that their father does not have the kid's best interests in heart. At 16 your kids will also get a say in their own custody arrangements, so don't worry that their opinions will be disregarded. If you don't already have a lawyer and are just trying to figure out an arrangement on your own with your ex, this is a mistake and will not serve you or your kids well. Talk to a lawyer ASAP your ex husband has fiduciary responsibilities to you and your children, and his infidelity will go a long way towards getting you what you want out of this. If you're worried about affording a lawyer please speak to your local legal aid office to see what low-cost options there are. Divorce and custody lawyers deal with situations like yours all the time and there will be options. | Is there a custody order/agreement in place? | 1 | 15,356 | 1.416667 |
u6dke5 | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | My ex is threatening me with legal action due to my kids not wanting to visit him whilst he’s with his partner Recently I had found out my ex has been cheating on me for the last 5 years and has hidden a child with this woman for the last 4 years. Due to this I obviously don’t want my kids to see this woman ever and my kids feel the same way. But now he’s threatening us with legal action and if the kids don’t want to see this woman then they’ll have to “suck it up” and basically pretend to like her. Considering they are both u16 can he physically force the children to visit whilst his partner is there. I want them to visit him but I also don’t want them anywhere near her but I know that I can’t legally enforce that nor can I influence the child’s decision but if they decide on their own can he still make them visit her? | i57j7di | i58jfxd | 1,650,290,290 | 1,650,305,058 | 24 | 28 | Is there a custody order/agreement in place? | >they’ll have to “suck it up” and basically pretend to like her. Being with their father while he's with his new girlfriend/wife/whatever is not the same thing as having to pretend to like her You and your kids have to follow whatever the court mandated visitation arrangements are, unless there's abuse happening (and in that case you should call the police). But, they don't have to act or pretend to act any certain way while there | 0 | 14,768 | 1.166667 |
u6dke5 | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | My ex is threatening me with legal action due to my kids not wanting to visit him whilst he’s with his partner Recently I had found out my ex has been cheating on me for the last 5 years and has hidden a child with this woman for the last 4 years. Due to this I obviously don’t want my kids to see this woman ever and my kids feel the same way. But now he’s threatening us with legal action and if the kids don’t want to see this woman then they’ll have to “suck it up” and basically pretend to like her. Considering they are both u16 can he physically force the children to visit whilst his partner is there. I want them to visit him but I also don’t want them anywhere near her but I know that I can’t legally enforce that nor can I influence the child’s decision but if they decide on their own can he still make them visit her? | i59nrko | i59m6jn | 1,650,321,941 | 1,650,321,229 | 8 | 3 | Depending on their ages Yes. The Courts and rightly so understand that although you may never want anything further to do with the ex, the children will most likely forgive and want a relationship with their father and half-sibling. The other woman doesn’t factor into the equation unless there is some overwhelming reason why she should not be around children. Your feelings are irrelevant. | The unfortunate reality is, it doesn’t matter how you feel about her if there is a custody agreement in place that says he has a right to visitation (and no stipulation to where or with who). The truth is most parents are in your situation when their coparent moves on. It’s hard to imagine your kids having to see that their parent is with someone new but honestly, it’s typically way harder on us as parents than it is on the kids (even if we wish they hated them as much as we do). The bottom line is, get a lawyer and, if there is not yet a custody agreement in place, that is your priority. | 1 | 712 | 2.666667 |
m3vbu1 | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | My workplace is refusing to document a work-related injury for my coworker. She was in tears yesterday, limping, and has a lump in her lower abdomen that was not there yesterday. She was told not to see a doctor because "they wouldn't be able to help" and they are not accommodating her in any way. This is happening in the state of Utah and feels like something that is highly illegal. This company is not unionized. Every TV screen around the workplace that cycles through company policy says "injuries should be reported in a timely manner" but management is refusing to document her injury (presumably because they don't want to pay for her medical bills or get OSHA involved?). Based on the fleshy lump on her lower abdomen, it's possible she has a hernia due to the heavy lifting the job requires. This is not the first time my workplace has refused to document an injury. It has actually happened to me before as well, when a heavy box full of metal fell on my head and nearly knocked me out. When I reported it to management I was told, "there's no point in documenting an injury unless you need to go to the hospital." I was a new hire at the time and just thought that my injury didn't meet some kind of 'requirement' that I didn't know about, so I didn't contest it, and I didn't receive medical care for it. I have photo evidence of the head injury and the full name of the manager that didn't document it. I have also heard multiple stories from other coworkers of management refusing to document their work-related injuries. This is a trend at my workplace. I told my coworker that I would testify in court against our employer in the event that she wanted to sue. Would multiple testimonies regarding the company's failure to document work-related injuries hold up in court at all? Is this a legal battle that we would be able to win without being unionized? | gqr5eh4 | gqr5iky | 1,615,597,779 | 1,615,597,844 | 103 | 590 | She needs to file a workers comp claim. ASAP. | She needs to go to a hospital and report this as a work injury. They will be forced to acknowledge it, because then it becomes a workman's comp claim on the company. The rest of your questions would be better fit for a workman's comp/personal injury attorney. | 0 | 65 | 5.728155 |
m3vbu1 | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | My workplace is refusing to document a work-related injury for my coworker. She was in tears yesterday, limping, and has a lump in her lower abdomen that was not there yesterday. She was told not to see a doctor because "they wouldn't be able to help" and they are not accommodating her in any way. This is happening in the state of Utah and feels like something that is highly illegal. This company is not unionized. Every TV screen around the workplace that cycles through company policy says "injuries should be reported in a timely manner" but management is refusing to document her injury (presumably because they don't want to pay for her medical bills or get OSHA involved?). Based on the fleshy lump on her lower abdomen, it's possible she has a hernia due to the heavy lifting the job requires. This is not the first time my workplace has refused to document an injury. It has actually happened to me before as well, when a heavy box full of metal fell on my head and nearly knocked me out. When I reported it to management I was told, "there's no point in documenting an injury unless you need to go to the hospital." I was a new hire at the time and just thought that my injury didn't meet some kind of 'requirement' that I didn't know about, so I didn't contest it, and I didn't receive medical care for it. I have photo evidence of the head injury and the full name of the manager that didn't document it. I have also heard multiple stories from other coworkers of management refusing to document their work-related injuries. This is a trend at my workplace. I told my coworker that I would testify in court against our employer in the event that she wanted to sue. Would multiple testimonies regarding the company's failure to document work-related injuries hold up in court at all? Is this a legal battle that we would be able to win without being unionized? | gqrlapx | gqrusxn | 1,615,607,152 | 1,615,613,632 | 15 | 18 | It is a requirement for employers to post a poster. https://laborcommission.utah.gov/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/poster-english-1.pdf It will have the info you need. | I’m an EHS professional and that is super illegal in regards to OSHA. Anything that requires attention beyond first aid aka a bandaid, paper cuts needs to be reported and should be followed up with a workers comp claim. You are not responsible for injuries that occur due to your line of work unless you are being negligent in some way. | 0 | 6,480 | 1.2 |
m3vbu1 | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | My workplace is refusing to document a work-related injury for my coworker. She was in tears yesterday, limping, and has a lump in her lower abdomen that was not there yesterday. She was told not to see a doctor because "they wouldn't be able to help" and they are not accommodating her in any way. This is happening in the state of Utah and feels like something that is highly illegal. This company is not unionized. Every TV screen around the workplace that cycles through company policy says "injuries should be reported in a timely manner" but management is refusing to document her injury (presumably because they don't want to pay for her medical bills or get OSHA involved?). Based on the fleshy lump on her lower abdomen, it's possible she has a hernia due to the heavy lifting the job requires. This is not the first time my workplace has refused to document an injury. It has actually happened to me before as well, when a heavy box full of metal fell on my head and nearly knocked me out. When I reported it to management I was told, "there's no point in documenting an injury unless you need to go to the hospital." I was a new hire at the time and just thought that my injury didn't meet some kind of 'requirement' that I didn't know about, so I didn't contest it, and I didn't receive medical care for it. I have photo evidence of the head injury and the full name of the manager that didn't document it. I have also heard multiple stories from other coworkers of management refusing to document their work-related injuries. This is a trend at my workplace. I told my coworker that I would testify in court against our employer in the event that she wanted to sue. Would multiple testimonies regarding the company's failure to document work-related injuries hold up in court at all? Is this a legal battle that we would be able to win without being unionized? | gqrusxn | gqrpzsc | 1,615,613,632 | 1,615,610,156 | 18 | 6 | I’m an EHS professional and that is super illegal in regards to OSHA. Anything that requires attention beyond first aid aka a bandaid, paper cuts needs to be reported and should be followed up with a workers comp claim. You are not responsible for injuries that occur due to your line of work unless you are being negligent in some way. | Contact the Utah Labor Commission and ask about filing a Workers' Compensation Hearing Request. That is how you start the process if your employer refuses to do so. You can also contact the Utah Bar Association (utahbar.org) for referral to a workers' comp attorney. Source: I am a former employment law attorney in Utah. | 1 | 3,476 | 3 |
m3vbu1 | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | My workplace is refusing to document a work-related injury for my coworker. She was in tears yesterday, limping, and has a lump in her lower abdomen that was not there yesterday. She was told not to see a doctor because "they wouldn't be able to help" and they are not accommodating her in any way. This is happening in the state of Utah and feels like something that is highly illegal. This company is not unionized. Every TV screen around the workplace that cycles through company policy says "injuries should be reported in a timely manner" but management is refusing to document her injury (presumably because they don't want to pay for her medical bills or get OSHA involved?). Based on the fleshy lump on her lower abdomen, it's possible she has a hernia due to the heavy lifting the job requires. This is not the first time my workplace has refused to document an injury. It has actually happened to me before as well, when a heavy box full of metal fell on my head and nearly knocked me out. When I reported it to management I was told, "there's no point in documenting an injury unless you need to go to the hospital." I was a new hire at the time and just thought that my injury didn't meet some kind of 'requirement' that I didn't know about, so I didn't contest it, and I didn't receive medical care for it. I have photo evidence of the head injury and the full name of the manager that didn't document it. I have also heard multiple stories from other coworkers of management refusing to document their work-related injuries. This is a trend at my workplace. I told my coworker that I would testify in court against our employer in the event that she wanted to sue. Would multiple testimonies regarding the company's failure to document work-related injuries hold up in court at all? Is this a legal battle that we would be able to win without being unionized? | gqrqnv0 | gqrusxn | 1,615,610,616 | 1,615,613,632 | 6 | 18 | I work on the management end, but for a different company. She should send an email to her boss documenting what happened and when. As specific as possible. She should then forward that email to a personal email address. She also needs to see a doctor and tell them it’s work related. Expect them to do anything they can to cover their asses since they’ve boned this up so royally already; she should avoid doing anything outside of the workplace that could at all indicate that she is faking it. | I’m an EHS professional and that is super illegal in regards to OSHA. Anything that requires attention beyond first aid aka a bandaid, paper cuts needs to be reported and should be followed up with a workers comp claim. You are not responsible for injuries that occur due to your line of work unless you are being negligent in some way. | 0 | 3,016 | 3 |
5w1bk1 | legaladvice_train | 0.77 | [CO]I am almost 16, living in foster care, and have a trust fund. I want to file for emancipation I am posting here because I don't know how to obtain the help of a lawyer, being a minor with no assets that I can access at the moment. I am living under foster care at the moment. I will turn sixteen in just two weeks, and I want to know how to file for emancipation. I believe I will have the means to support myself if I am emancipated, but I that puts me in a difficult situation because, as I understand, you have to be already supporting yourself to be emancipated. A trust fund was set up in my name when I was 11 as a result of a wrongful death settlement. At age 12 I was placed in the foster system as a result of my grandfather's death. That has enough money to pay for my living expenses and a college education until I can graduate... many times over. Although my foster parents are not abusive by any means, the aren't great either. There are many foster kids in the home and we are not close by any means. I was placed in this home when I was age 14 and have stayed since. We have many problems here and argue for the silliest reasons, like how much I eat or the noise I make when using the bathroom at night (which I can't help). I think I could do fine on my own, I know some basic cooking and cleaning because I was made to clean stuff all the time. Also it is my objective to enroll in online classes and graduate school early. I want to start college the earliest I can manage. I don't know how to exactly how to, my school counselor won't help and I believe it's difficult to do without my foster parent's consent, and it is very difficult to ask them for anything. Do I have a shot at that? And if so, how do I do this? | de6j9od | de6j0yf | 1,487,984,073 | 1,487,983,729 | 21 | 9 | A trust fund alone is not going to be sufficient for emancipation. You need a job and letters from employers and other documentation. Also, as you said there's nothing really wrong with your foster care placement, it's just not ideal. The court isn't going to take that as a valid excuse. Generally you have to show that you can and do support yourself, you understand the full implications of being independent, you have an acceptable plan for independence, that you have and/or can pay for health insurance, and it won't effect schooling. The court may also want more information as well. However, they base emancipation on the best interest of the child standard. You're going to have a hard time overcoming this just based on a trust and the fact that your current situation is simply not ideal. | At what age do you get legal access to the trust fund? As far as emancipation, the CO judicial branch website says this... >Colorado does not have an emancipation statute under which minors may petition a court for legal autonomy which would release them from the control and authority of their parents. No independent cause of action exists in Colorado for the emancipation of minors. The issue of emancipation is fact-specific to the situation and applicable law. Issues relating to emancipation may be addressed as part of a separate legal action before the courts such as a dissolution of marriage or child custody case; or directly by the state or local agency providing a service or benefit. source | 1 | 344 | 2.333333 |
5w1bk1 | legaladvice_train | 0.77 | [CO]I am almost 16, living in foster care, and have a trust fund. I want to file for emancipation I am posting here because I don't know how to obtain the help of a lawyer, being a minor with no assets that I can access at the moment. I am living under foster care at the moment. I will turn sixteen in just two weeks, and I want to know how to file for emancipation. I believe I will have the means to support myself if I am emancipated, but I that puts me in a difficult situation because, as I understand, you have to be already supporting yourself to be emancipated. A trust fund was set up in my name when I was 11 as a result of a wrongful death settlement. At age 12 I was placed in the foster system as a result of my grandfather's death. That has enough money to pay for my living expenses and a college education until I can graduate... many times over. Although my foster parents are not abusive by any means, the aren't great either. There are many foster kids in the home and we are not close by any means. I was placed in this home when I was age 14 and have stayed since. We have many problems here and argue for the silliest reasons, like how much I eat or the noise I make when using the bathroom at night (which I can't help). I think I could do fine on my own, I know some basic cooking and cleaning because I was made to clean stuff all the time. Also it is my objective to enroll in online classes and graduate school early. I want to start college the earliest I can manage. I don't know how to exactly how to, my school counselor won't help and I believe it's difficult to do without my foster parent's consent, and it is very difficult to ask them for anything. Do I have a shot at that? And if so, how do I do this? | de6j1to | de6j9od | 1,487,983,762 | 1,487,984,073 | 3 | 21 | >A trust fund was set up in my name when I was 11 as a result of a wrongful death settlement. Your first step would be to find out all that you can about this trust fund. Where is it? Who is managing it? What do the trust documents actually say? | A trust fund alone is not going to be sufficient for emancipation. You need a job and letters from employers and other documentation. Also, as you said there's nothing really wrong with your foster care placement, it's just not ideal. The court isn't going to take that as a valid excuse. Generally you have to show that you can and do support yourself, you understand the full implications of being independent, you have an acceptable plan for independence, that you have and/or can pay for health insurance, and it won't effect schooling. The court may also want more information as well. However, they base emancipation on the best interest of the child standard. You're going to have a hard time overcoming this just based on a trust and the fact that your current situation is simply not ideal. | 0 | 311 | 7 |
ba4ty3 | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | [MA] College won't give me disability accommodations but acknowledges that my disability enough of a problem that they want to send me to the hospital on a regular basis rather than accommodate me Hi reddit. Sorry if the title is a mess. Was advised to come here by one of the students at my school. I have epilepsy. My seizures are primarily set off my stress, non-stable sleep patterns, and flashing lights. The first two are the important ones here. They are not grand mal (the ones you see on TV). I am not the only epileptic student on my college campus, and the other one I know of received housing accommodations. I put in for housing accommodations, and received back notice (after others received their accommodations) that the letter my doctor wrote was not sufficient. I had my doctor rewrite it, but was told that the committee would not be able to review my case this semester (my final semester). This means that unless by some miracle of god the 54 people in the housing lottery before me decide that they do not want a single, I will not get one. However, on this note, despite not giving me these accommodations, the college is still acknowledging my disability - they want to send me to the hospital every time I have a seizure. On a good day, I have 0-2. On an average day, with a roommate, I have upwards of 7. Their policy, if you refuse to go to the hospital, is to refuse to let you continue to attend classes or return to campus. I live in the US. I'm a college student. ONE ambulance ride is to expensive for me, never mind multiple a week. I have literally no idea what to do. **Are they allowed to worsen my medical condition and then punish me financially for it like that? I'm going to have to drop out in my final semester if they enforce this.** | ek96jb3 | ek9l8ay | 1,554,567,425 | 1,554,578,273 | 35 | 37 | Who have you been dealing with in the school administration? There may be resources you haven’t accessed. Try reaching out to the head of the department of housing, the Dean of your college, the school ombudsman, and even the President of the school. | I've known several folks at my small MA school who had similar issues. Eventually, an ADA lawyer was necessary for many of them to access the accommodations they sought, and ultimately were entitled to, including, as in your case, a single room. The ADA lawyer may require payment, but depending on the complexity of your case and other specifics, you may be able to negotiate this with them or an organization they are affiliated with. If you are having difficulty accessing or finding an ADA lawyer, state level disability advocacy groups are often a great resource to connect you with local or state level advocates, or even lawyers. You may not originally be from MA, but they are likely interested in assisting you. (https://www.dlc-ma.org/ is an example of an explicitly legally oriented disability advocacy group in your state; this page lists other organizations as well https://www.olmsteadrights.org/self-helptools/advocacy-resources/item.6692-Massachusetts\_Disability\_Resources\_and\_Advocacy\_Organizations). If legal help is out of reach, try first to get other students and student organizations on your side. Work with deans (student life or other similar offices) and high ranking college officials on your side proactively as well. Make it clear to them that you know your rights, and that you want to be successful as a student and how much you love \*school\*. | 0 | 10,848 | 1.057143 |
ba4ty3 | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | [MA] College won't give me disability accommodations but acknowledges that my disability enough of a problem that they want to send me to the hospital on a regular basis rather than accommodate me Hi reddit. Sorry if the title is a mess. Was advised to come here by one of the students at my school. I have epilepsy. My seizures are primarily set off my stress, non-stable sleep patterns, and flashing lights. The first two are the important ones here. They are not grand mal (the ones you see on TV). I am not the only epileptic student on my college campus, and the other one I know of received housing accommodations. I put in for housing accommodations, and received back notice (after others received their accommodations) that the letter my doctor wrote was not sufficient. I had my doctor rewrite it, but was told that the committee would not be able to review my case this semester (my final semester). This means that unless by some miracle of god the 54 people in the housing lottery before me decide that they do not want a single, I will not get one. However, on this note, despite not giving me these accommodations, the college is still acknowledging my disability - they want to send me to the hospital every time I have a seizure. On a good day, I have 0-2. On an average day, with a roommate, I have upwards of 7. Their policy, if you refuse to go to the hospital, is to refuse to let you continue to attend classes or return to campus. I live in the US. I'm a college student. ONE ambulance ride is to expensive for me, never mind multiple a week. I have literally no idea what to do. **Are they allowed to worsen my medical condition and then punish me financially for it like that? I'm going to have to drop out in my final semester if they enforce this.** | ek9l8ay | ek9co9r | 1,554,578,273 | 1,554,571,819 | 37 | 7 | I've known several folks at my small MA school who had similar issues. Eventually, an ADA lawyer was necessary for many of them to access the accommodations they sought, and ultimately were entitled to, including, as in your case, a single room. The ADA lawyer may require payment, but depending on the complexity of your case and other specifics, you may be able to negotiate this with them or an organization they are affiliated with. If you are having difficulty accessing or finding an ADA lawyer, state level disability advocacy groups are often a great resource to connect you with local or state level advocates, or even lawyers. You may not originally be from MA, but they are likely interested in assisting you. (https://www.dlc-ma.org/ is an example of an explicitly legally oriented disability advocacy group in your state; this page lists other organizations as well https://www.olmsteadrights.org/self-helptools/advocacy-resources/item.6692-Massachusetts\_Disability\_Resources\_and\_Advocacy\_Organizations). If legal help is out of reach, try first to get other students and student organizations on your side. Work with deans (student life or other similar offices) and high ranking college officials on your side proactively as well. Make it clear to them that you know your rights, and that you want to be successful as a student and how much you love \*school\*. | Your post reminded me of this article describing a nearly identical situation. While I don’t have any specific legal advice, the article might mention something of merit or at least be of interest to you. Wishing you the best of luck! | 1 | 6,454 | 5.285714 |
4cdqn0 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: OH: I think I've gotten caught up in a situation involving lying to/in court and I don't know what to do Original post is here First, I'd like to thank everyone here (and /r/bestoflegaladvice) for your input, suggestions, and the harsh words that it turns out I needed last fall. A few people commented that I sounded young and that's pretty true. My brother & sister are much older than me and my parents had me later in life. Mom used to say I was her favorite surprise. :) So, yeah, I'm just getting started in college and don't have much real world experience which isn't an excuse for how I acted, but it is what it is and I'm trying to be better. I took a humanities class that covers aging this semester because of this whole situation with my grandparents and I learned so, so much. I really enjoyed it too. I'm thinking about changing my major so I can go into a field that helps protect the elderly like maybe social work. So, I told "our" lawyer back in November that I wanted nothing to do with the court case anymore and gave him a general outline of why I'd come to believe that my sister wasn't being totally honest. He filed stuff to show I was withdrawing my name from the case and then he "fired" my sister as a client. She dismissed (?? I think this is the right term) her case since she no longer had a lawyer and after some soul searching and a couple visits with a counselor at school I told her not to contact me again & blocked her. My brother was willing to forgive me for some reason. I'm grateful for it, but I was a real jackass until I posted here about my grandparents' situation. He keeps me in the loop which is how I know how the last almost 5 months have played out. My brother's attorney for the trust started getting emails from my sister's NEW lawyer (this would be the 3rd one she's used about her complaints over my grandparents' estate) later in the fall. She was claiming to Lawyer #3 that my brother was hiding bank accounts/money, that he was letting the trust's real estate properties go to junk and not taking care of them, that he didn't have insurance on the properties, he was letting people live there for free, and a bunch of other stuff that I could see was completely not true. She also started telling my grandparents these lies which upset them and and, being confused, they believed her for a bit and were just awful to my brother and me. Lawyer #3 was sending demanding emails to my brother's lawyer for him to show proof that the houses are in good shape, insured, not being misused, on and on and on. After a couple months of this, my brother's lawyer got an email directly from my sister where she listed demands such as my brother must let her take inventory of all my grandparents' possessions and take some keepsakes for herself, that any renters had to be evicted immediately, that he had to put all the real estate up for sale within 30 days, and other things that my brother's lawyer explained that he absolutely did not have to do - and if these things didn't happen within 30 days she would be forced to pursue further legal action. And she cc:ed her lawyer on this email. Well, my brother's lawyer got a call that same day from Lawyer #3 saying he had nothing to do with that email and wasn't consulted. That was the last we heard anything from Lawyer #3 and all was quiet for a few months. And that brings me to the current situation. My brother's lawyer recently forwarded him copies of emails with, drumroll please, my sister's NEW lawyer - Lawyer #4! This lawyer is from a firm that does local ads like "Got a DUI? Charged with a crime? We can help!" I don't know why they're taking on a probate situation but it looks like they are. And, really, it's the same stupid claims she made with Lawyer #3 and my brother's lawyer has already gone over with him exactly what he's supposed to be doing as the trustee so he knows he doesn't have to do any of the stuff she's saying. It's just... this is getting very hard on my brother. He's just so tired of it all. What I want to know is I guess not so much about what legal steps he should be taking, because his lawyer has that covered, but maybe some advice from you guys since you've been dealing with all types of people in court. Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? Is there anything we can do to get her to stop? My brother's lawyer said he's seen people act like this for years - but he didn't have any advice on anything we could do to get her to back off since she isn't breaking any laws. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions anyone has. | d1h9xq4 | d1hb2pi | 1,459,223,232 | 1,459,225,390 | 30 | 62 | I'm afraid your brother's lawyer is right. There are a few torts that he could sue for, but there's a reason why his lawyer hasn't brought them up: The chance of success is theoretical and/or not worth it. Ignore her. | I read through the original post before this one and my first gut reaction was to say that you and your sister are shitbag people...but after reading this post, I'm very glad you saw the error of your ways and learned everything you needed to know as to why your brother was being a damn decent person. Good on you to step up and try to help out!! As to your direct question, if I was your brother's attorney, I'd send Lawyer #4 a sternly worded letter re: frivolous claims and a nuisance suit (I am not a lawyer, but law student/law firm employee) and that if they continued to pursue this matter, I'd make sure action would be taken. As far as your sister is concerned, the reason she's continuing to do this is because she's, and I'm sorry for saying this about a family member of yours, a leeching cunt who is starting to mire herself down in the ethically shady attorneys desperate enough to take a case. Tell him to keep up the good fight; it sounds like he has a good attorney, and he should listen to him. I know it's very draining, but your brother is a damn decent fellow and he'll get through this and so will you. In the meantime, just offer to help your brother out with anything he needs as far as your grandparents are concerned...it'll help him take a load off and ease his mind a bit. Makes me wonder what I'm going to be looking forward to since I'm helping my grandfather out now, and he just made me the executor of his estate. My uncle is not going to like this at all... | 0 | 2,158 | 2.066667 |
4cdqn0 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: OH: I think I've gotten caught up in a situation involving lying to/in court and I don't know what to do Original post is here First, I'd like to thank everyone here (and /r/bestoflegaladvice) for your input, suggestions, and the harsh words that it turns out I needed last fall. A few people commented that I sounded young and that's pretty true. My brother & sister are much older than me and my parents had me later in life. Mom used to say I was her favorite surprise. :) So, yeah, I'm just getting started in college and don't have much real world experience which isn't an excuse for how I acted, but it is what it is and I'm trying to be better. I took a humanities class that covers aging this semester because of this whole situation with my grandparents and I learned so, so much. I really enjoyed it too. I'm thinking about changing my major so I can go into a field that helps protect the elderly like maybe social work. So, I told "our" lawyer back in November that I wanted nothing to do with the court case anymore and gave him a general outline of why I'd come to believe that my sister wasn't being totally honest. He filed stuff to show I was withdrawing my name from the case and then he "fired" my sister as a client. She dismissed (?? I think this is the right term) her case since she no longer had a lawyer and after some soul searching and a couple visits with a counselor at school I told her not to contact me again & blocked her. My brother was willing to forgive me for some reason. I'm grateful for it, but I was a real jackass until I posted here about my grandparents' situation. He keeps me in the loop which is how I know how the last almost 5 months have played out. My brother's attorney for the trust started getting emails from my sister's NEW lawyer (this would be the 3rd one she's used about her complaints over my grandparents' estate) later in the fall. She was claiming to Lawyer #3 that my brother was hiding bank accounts/money, that he was letting the trust's real estate properties go to junk and not taking care of them, that he didn't have insurance on the properties, he was letting people live there for free, and a bunch of other stuff that I could see was completely not true. She also started telling my grandparents these lies which upset them and and, being confused, they believed her for a bit and were just awful to my brother and me. Lawyer #3 was sending demanding emails to my brother's lawyer for him to show proof that the houses are in good shape, insured, not being misused, on and on and on. After a couple months of this, my brother's lawyer got an email directly from my sister where she listed demands such as my brother must let her take inventory of all my grandparents' possessions and take some keepsakes for herself, that any renters had to be evicted immediately, that he had to put all the real estate up for sale within 30 days, and other things that my brother's lawyer explained that he absolutely did not have to do - and if these things didn't happen within 30 days she would be forced to pursue further legal action. And she cc:ed her lawyer on this email. Well, my brother's lawyer got a call that same day from Lawyer #3 saying he had nothing to do with that email and wasn't consulted. That was the last we heard anything from Lawyer #3 and all was quiet for a few months. And that brings me to the current situation. My brother's lawyer recently forwarded him copies of emails with, drumroll please, my sister's NEW lawyer - Lawyer #4! This lawyer is from a firm that does local ads like "Got a DUI? Charged with a crime? We can help!" I don't know why they're taking on a probate situation but it looks like they are. And, really, it's the same stupid claims she made with Lawyer #3 and my brother's lawyer has already gone over with him exactly what he's supposed to be doing as the trustee so he knows he doesn't have to do any of the stuff she's saying. It's just... this is getting very hard on my brother. He's just so tired of it all. What I want to know is I guess not so much about what legal steps he should be taking, because his lawyer has that covered, but maybe some advice from you guys since you've been dealing with all types of people in court. Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? Is there anything we can do to get her to stop? My brother's lawyer said he's seen people act like this for years - but he didn't have any advice on anything we could do to get her to back off since she isn't breaking any laws. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions anyone has. | d1ha9ep | d1hb2pi | 1,459,223,831 | 1,459,225,390 | 15 | 62 | Your grandparent's estate has been paying for your brother's lawyers. Is there any way she can be forced to pay that back and/or stop filing suits? Is this frivolous on her part? | I read through the original post before this one and my first gut reaction was to say that you and your sister are shitbag people...but after reading this post, I'm very glad you saw the error of your ways and learned everything you needed to know as to why your brother was being a damn decent person. Good on you to step up and try to help out!! As to your direct question, if I was your brother's attorney, I'd send Lawyer #4 a sternly worded letter re: frivolous claims and a nuisance suit (I am not a lawyer, but law student/law firm employee) and that if they continued to pursue this matter, I'd make sure action would be taken. As far as your sister is concerned, the reason she's continuing to do this is because she's, and I'm sorry for saying this about a family member of yours, a leeching cunt who is starting to mire herself down in the ethically shady attorneys desperate enough to take a case. Tell him to keep up the good fight; it sounds like he has a good attorney, and he should listen to him. I know it's very draining, but your brother is a damn decent fellow and he'll get through this and so will you. In the meantime, just offer to help your brother out with anything he needs as far as your grandparents are concerned...it'll help him take a load off and ease his mind a bit. Makes me wonder what I'm going to be looking forward to since I'm helping my grandfather out now, and he just made me the executor of his estate. My uncle is not going to like this at all... | 0 | 1,559 | 4.133333 |
4cdqn0 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: OH: I think I've gotten caught up in a situation involving lying to/in court and I don't know what to do Original post is here First, I'd like to thank everyone here (and /r/bestoflegaladvice) for your input, suggestions, and the harsh words that it turns out I needed last fall. A few people commented that I sounded young and that's pretty true. My brother & sister are much older than me and my parents had me later in life. Mom used to say I was her favorite surprise. :) So, yeah, I'm just getting started in college and don't have much real world experience which isn't an excuse for how I acted, but it is what it is and I'm trying to be better. I took a humanities class that covers aging this semester because of this whole situation with my grandparents and I learned so, so much. I really enjoyed it too. I'm thinking about changing my major so I can go into a field that helps protect the elderly like maybe social work. So, I told "our" lawyer back in November that I wanted nothing to do with the court case anymore and gave him a general outline of why I'd come to believe that my sister wasn't being totally honest. He filed stuff to show I was withdrawing my name from the case and then he "fired" my sister as a client. She dismissed (?? I think this is the right term) her case since she no longer had a lawyer and after some soul searching and a couple visits with a counselor at school I told her not to contact me again & blocked her. My brother was willing to forgive me for some reason. I'm grateful for it, but I was a real jackass until I posted here about my grandparents' situation. He keeps me in the loop which is how I know how the last almost 5 months have played out. My brother's attorney for the trust started getting emails from my sister's NEW lawyer (this would be the 3rd one she's used about her complaints over my grandparents' estate) later in the fall. She was claiming to Lawyer #3 that my brother was hiding bank accounts/money, that he was letting the trust's real estate properties go to junk and not taking care of them, that he didn't have insurance on the properties, he was letting people live there for free, and a bunch of other stuff that I could see was completely not true. She also started telling my grandparents these lies which upset them and and, being confused, they believed her for a bit and were just awful to my brother and me. Lawyer #3 was sending demanding emails to my brother's lawyer for him to show proof that the houses are in good shape, insured, not being misused, on and on and on. After a couple months of this, my brother's lawyer got an email directly from my sister where she listed demands such as my brother must let her take inventory of all my grandparents' possessions and take some keepsakes for herself, that any renters had to be evicted immediately, that he had to put all the real estate up for sale within 30 days, and other things that my brother's lawyer explained that he absolutely did not have to do - and if these things didn't happen within 30 days she would be forced to pursue further legal action. And she cc:ed her lawyer on this email. Well, my brother's lawyer got a call that same day from Lawyer #3 saying he had nothing to do with that email and wasn't consulted. That was the last we heard anything from Lawyer #3 and all was quiet for a few months. And that brings me to the current situation. My brother's lawyer recently forwarded him copies of emails with, drumroll please, my sister's NEW lawyer - Lawyer #4! This lawyer is from a firm that does local ads like "Got a DUI? Charged with a crime? We can help!" I don't know why they're taking on a probate situation but it looks like they are. And, really, it's the same stupid claims she made with Lawyer #3 and my brother's lawyer has already gone over with him exactly what he's supposed to be doing as the trustee so he knows he doesn't have to do any of the stuff she's saying. It's just... this is getting very hard on my brother. He's just so tired of it all. What I want to know is I guess not so much about what legal steps he should be taking, because his lawyer has that covered, but maybe some advice from you guys since you've been dealing with all types of people in court. Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? Is there anything we can do to get her to stop? My brother's lawyer said he's seen people act like this for years - but he didn't have any advice on anything we could do to get her to back off since she isn't breaking any laws. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions anyone has. | d1h9xq4 | d1hc8kh | 1,459,223,232 | 1,459,227,814 | 30 | 34 | I'm afraid your brother's lawyer is right. There are a few torts that he could sue for, but there's a reason why his lawyer hasn't brought them up: The chance of success is theoretical and/or not worth it. Ignore her. | Just wanted to chime in; I remember your post from months ago, the original one. It's good to see you around in any case, welcome back :) It's good to see how things have worked out between you and your brother/grandparents. On a personal level you've wisened up and learned murky, disgusting methods some immoral people use to attempt to harm those close to them, the helpless and weak. And you've changed; as per the advice of people in the post, and your own input and decision making. So bravo there! I can't stress that enough! As for what to do; I'd suggest bringing up the concept of harassment to your brother's lawyer? He can't act out against what she's doing directly, but as /u/8246962 mentioned, it may be possible to counter her continued... well, harassment. See if it's possible to scrounge up enough evidence that she's doing so; especially if you can find anything related to her outstanding debt as her motivations. Stay strong. | 0 | 4,582 | 1.133333 |
4cdqn0 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: OH: I think I've gotten caught up in a situation involving lying to/in court and I don't know what to do Original post is here First, I'd like to thank everyone here (and /r/bestoflegaladvice) for your input, suggestions, and the harsh words that it turns out I needed last fall. A few people commented that I sounded young and that's pretty true. My brother & sister are much older than me and my parents had me later in life. Mom used to say I was her favorite surprise. :) So, yeah, I'm just getting started in college and don't have much real world experience which isn't an excuse for how I acted, but it is what it is and I'm trying to be better. I took a humanities class that covers aging this semester because of this whole situation with my grandparents and I learned so, so much. I really enjoyed it too. I'm thinking about changing my major so I can go into a field that helps protect the elderly like maybe social work. So, I told "our" lawyer back in November that I wanted nothing to do with the court case anymore and gave him a general outline of why I'd come to believe that my sister wasn't being totally honest. He filed stuff to show I was withdrawing my name from the case and then he "fired" my sister as a client. She dismissed (?? I think this is the right term) her case since she no longer had a lawyer and after some soul searching and a couple visits with a counselor at school I told her not to contact me again & blocked her. My brother was willing to forgive me for some reason. I'm grateful for it, but I was a real jackass until I posted here about my grandparents' situation. He keeps me in the loop which is how I know how the last almost 5 months have played out. My brother's attorney for the trust started getting emails from my sister's NEW lawyer (this would be the 3rd one she's used about her complaints over my grandparents' estate) later in the fall. She was claiming to Lawyer #3 that my brother was hiding bank accounts/money, that he was letting the trust's real estate properties go to junk and not taking care of them, that he didn't have insurance on the properties, he was letting people live there for free, and a bunch of other stuff that I could see was completely not true. She also started telling my grandparents these lies which upset them and and, being confused, they believed her for a bit and were just awful to my brother and me. Lawyer #3 was sending demanding emails to my brother's lawyer for him to show proof that the houses are in good shape, insured, not being misused, on and on and on. After a couple months of this, my brother's lawyer got an email directly from my sister where she listed demands such as my brother must let her take inventory of all my grandparents' possessions and take some keepsakes for herself, that any renters had to be evicted immediately, that he had to put all the real estate up for sale within 30 days, and other things that my brother's lawyer explained that he absolutely did not have to do - and if these things didn't happen within 30 days she would be forced to pursue further legal action. And she cc:ed her lawyer on this email. Well, my brother's lawyer got a call that same day from Lawyer #3 saying he had nothing to do with that email and wasn't consulted. That was the last we heard anything from Lawyer #3 and all was quiet for a few months. And that brings me to the current situation. My brother's lawyer recently forwarded him copies of emails with, drumroll please, my sister's NEW lawyer - Lawyer #4! This lawyer is from a firm that does local ads like "Got a DUI? Charged with a crime? We can help!" I don't know why they're taking on a probate situation but it looks like they are. And, really, it's the same stupid claims she made with Lawyer #3 and my brother's lawyer has already gone over with him exactly what he's supposed to be doing as the trustee so he knows he doesn't have to do any of the stuff she's saying. It's just... this is getting very hard on my brother. He's just so tired of it all. What I want to know is I guess not so much about what legal steps he should be taking, because his lawyer has that covered, but maybe some advice from you guys since you've been dealing with all types of people in court. Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? Is there anything we can do to get her to stop? My brother's lawyer said he's seen people act like this for years - but he didn't have any advice on anything we could do to get her to back off since she isn't breaking any laws. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions anyone has. | d1hc8kh | d1ha9ep | 1,459,227,814 | 1,459,223,831 | 34 | 15 | Just wanted to chime in; I remember your post from months ago, the original one. It's good to see you around in any case, welcome back :) It's good to see how things have worked out between you and your brother/grandparents. On a personal level you've wisened up and learned murky, disgusting methods some immoral people use to attempt to harm those close to them, the helpless and weak. And you've changed; as per the advice of people in the post, and your own input and decision making. So bravo there! I can't stress that enough! As for what to do; I'd suggest bringing up the concept of harassment to your brother's lawyer? He can't act out against what she's doing directly, but as /u/8246962 mentioned, it may be possible to counter her continued... well, harassment. See if it's possible to scrounge up enough evidence that she's doing so; especially if you can find anything related to her outstanding debt as her motivations. Stay strong. | Your grandparent's estate has been paying for your brother's lawyers. Is there any way she can be forced to pay that back and/or stop filing suits? Is this frivolous on her part? | 1 | 3,983 | 2.266667 |
4cdqn0 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: OH: I think I've gotten caught up in a situation involving lying to/in court and I don't know what to do Original post is here First, I'd like to thank everyone here (and /r/bestoflegaladvice) for your input, suggestions, and the harsh words that it turns out I needed last fall. A few people commented that I sounded young and that's pretty true. My brother & sister are much older than me and my parents had me later in life. Mom used to say I was her favorite surprise. :) So, yeah, I'm just getting started in college and don't have much real world experience which isn't an excuse for how I acted, but it is what it is and I'm trying to be better. I took a humanities class that covers aging this semester because of this whole situation with my grandparents and I learned so, so much. I really enjoyed it too. I'm thinking about changing my major so I can go into a field that helps protect the elderly like maybe social work. So, I told "our" lawyer back in November that I wanted nothing to do with the court case anymore and gave him a general outline of why I'd come to believe that my sister wasn't being totally honest. He filed stuff to show I was withdrawing my name from the case and then he "fired" my sister as a client. She dismissed (?? I think this is the right term) her case since she no longer had a lawyer and after some soul searching and a couple visits with a counselor at school I told her not to contact me again & blocked her. My brother was willing to forgive me for some reason. I'm grateful for it, but I was a real jackass until I posted here about my grandparents' situation. He keeps me in the loop which is how I know how the last almost 5 months have played out. My brother's attorney for the trust started getting emails from my sister's NEW lawyer (this would be the 3rd one she's used about her complaints over my grandparents' estate) later in the fall. She was claiming to Lawyer #3 that my brother was hiding bank accounts/money, that he was letting the trust's real estate properties go to junk and not taking care of them, that he didn't have insurance on the properties, he was letting people live there for free, and a bunch of other stuff that I could see was completely not true. She also started telling my grandparents these lies which upset them and and, being confused, they believed her for a bit and were just awful to my brother and me. Lawyer #3 was sending demanding emails to my brother's lawyer for him to show proof that the houses are in good shape, insured, not being misused, on and on and on. After a couple months of this, my brother's lawyer got an email directly from my sister where she listed demands such as my brother must let her take inventory of all my grandparents' possessions and take some keepsakes for herself, that any renters had to be evicted immediately, that he had to put all the real estate up for sale within 30 days, and other things that my brother's lawyer explained that he absolutely did not have to do - and if these things didn't happen within 30 days she would be forced to pursue further legal action. And she cc:ed her lawyer on this email. Well, my brother's lawyer got a call that same day from Lawyer #3 saying he had nothing to do with that email and wasn't consulted. That was the last we heard anything from Lawyer #3 and all was quiet for a few months. And that brings me to the current situation. My brother's lawyer recently forwarded him copies of emails with, drumroll please, my sister's NEW lawyer - Lawyer #4! This lawyer is from a firm that does local ads like "Got a DUI? Charged with a crime? We can help!" I don't know why they're taking on a probate situation but it looks like they are. And, really, it's the same stupid claims she made with Lawyer #3 and my brother's lawyer has already gone over with him exactly what he's supposed to be doing as the trustee so he knows he doesn't have to do any of the stuff she's saying. It's just... this is getting very hard on my brother. He's just so tired of it all. What I want to know is I guess not so much about what legal steps he should be taking, because his lawyer has that covered, but maybe some advice from you guys since you've been dealing with all types of people in court. Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? Is there anything we can do to get her to stop? My brother's lawyer said he's seen people act like this for years - but he didn't have any advice on anything we could do to get her to back off since she isn't breaking any laws. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions anyone has. | d1hmafw | d1hs8bm | 1,459,257,843 | 1,459,266,453 | 17 | 18 | Your brother sounds like he is doing an outstanding job of taking care of your grandparents - my best to him. And that half million debt of your sisters probably goes a long way toward explaining her actions. She wants to get in there, get rid of the debt, and get whatever else she can from the estate. You and your brother stand strong on this. | Perhaps you could point out to your sister that she is whittling away at the inheritance by causing legal spending-- to her own detriment. Also, did you ever alert her that record of her indebtedness still exists? It might take the wind out of her sails in terms of being interested in getting this mess before a judge. | 0 | 8,610 | 1.058824 |
4cdqn0 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: OH: I think I've gotten caught up in a situation involving lying to/in court and I don't know what to do Original post is here First, I'd like to thank everyone here (and /r/bestoflegaladvice) for your input, suggestions, and the harsh words that it turns out I needed last fall. A few people commented that I sounded young and that's pretty true. My brother & sister are much older than me and my parents had me later in life. Mom used to say I was her favorite surprise. :) So, yeah, I'm just getting started in college and don't have much real world experience which isn't an excuse for how I acted, but it is what it is and I'm trying to be better. I took a humanities class that covers aging this semester because of this whole situation with my grandparents and I learned so, so much. I really enjoyed it too. I'm thinking about changing my major so I can go into a field that helps protect the elderly like maybe social work. So, I told "our" lawyer back in November that I wanted nothing to do with the court case anymore and gave him a general outline of why I'd come to believe that my sister wasn't being totally honest. He filed stuff to show I was withdrawing my name from the case and then he "fired" my sister as a client. She dismissed (?? I think this is the right term) her case since she no longer had a lawyer and after some soul searching and a couple visits with a counselor at school I told her not to contact me again & blocked her. My brother was willing to forgive me for some reason. I'm grateful for it, but I was a real jackass until I posted here about my grandparents' situation. He keeps me in the loop which is how I know how the last almost 5 months have played out. My brother's attorney for the trust started getting emails from my sister's NEW lawyer (this would be the 3rd one she's used about her complaints over my grandparents' estate) later in the fall. She was claiming to Lawyer #3 that my brother was hiding bank accounts/money, that he was letting the trust's real estate properties go to junk and not taking care of them, that he didn't have insurance on the properties, he was letting people live there for free, and a bunch of other stuff that I could see was completely not true. She also started telling my grandparents these lies which upset them and and, being confused, they believed her for a bit and were just awful to my brother and me. Lawyer #3 was sending demanding emails to my brother's lawyer for him to show proof that the houses are in good shape, insured, not being misused, on and on and on. After a couple months of this, my brother's lawyer got an email directly from my sister where she listed demands such as my brother must let her take inventory of all my grandparents' possessions and take some keepsakes for herself, that any renters had to be evicted immediately, that he had to put all the real estate up for sale within 30 days, and other things that my brother's lawyer explained that he absolutely did not have to do - and if these things didn't happen within 30 days she would be forced to pursue further legal action. And she cc:ed her lawyer on this email. Well, my brother's lawyer got a call that same day from Lawyer #3 saying he had nothing to do with that email and wasn't consulted. That was the last we heard anything from Lawyer #3 and all was quiet for a few months. And that brings me to the current situation. My brother's lawyer recently forwarded him copies of emails with, drumroll please, my sister's NEW lawyer - Lawyer #4! This lawyer is from a firm that does local ads like "Got a DUI? Charged with a crime? We can help!" I don't know why they're taking on a probate situation but it looks like they are. And, really, it's the same stupid claims she made with Lawyer #3 and my brother's lawyer has already gone over with him exactly what he's supposed to be doing as the trustee so he knows he doesn't have to do any of the stuff she's saying. It's just... this is getting very hard on my brother. He's just so tired of it all. What I want to know is I guess not so much about what legal steps he should be taking, because his lawyer has that covered, but maybe some advice from you guys since you've been dealing with all types of people in court. Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? Is there anything we can do to get her to stop? My brother's lawyer said he's seen people act like this for years - but he didn't have any advice on anything we could do to get her to back off since she isn't breaking any laws. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions anyone has. | d1ha9ep | d1hs8bm | 1,459,223,831 | 1,459,266,453 | 15 | 18 | Your grandparent's estate has been paying for your brother's lawyers. Is there any way she can be forced to pay that back and/or stop filing suits? Is this frivolous on her part? | Perhaps you could point out to your sister that she is whittling away at the inheritance by causing legal spending-- to her own detriment. Also, did you ever alert her that record of her indebtedness still exists? It might take the wind out of her sails in terms of being interested in getting this mess before a judge. | 0 | 42,622 | 1.2 |
4cdqn0 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: OH: I think I've gotten caught up in a situation involving lying to/in court and I don't know what to do Original post is here First, I'd like to thank everyone here (and /r/bestoflegaladvice) for your input, suggestions, and the harsh words that it turns out I needed last fall. A few people commented that I sounded young and that's pretty true. My brother & sister are much older than me and my parents had me later in life. Mom used to say I was her favorite surprise. :) So, yeah, I'm just getting started in college and don't have much real world experience which isn't an excuse for how I acted, but it is what it is and I'm trying to be better. I took a humanities class that covers aging this semester because of this whole situation with my grandparents and I learned so, so much. I really enjoyed it too. I'm thinking about changing my major so I can go into a field that helps protect the elderly like maybe social work. So, I told "our" lawyer back in November that I wanted nothing to do with the court case anymore and gave him a general outline of why I'd come to believe that my sister wasn't being totally honest. He filed stuff to show I was withdrawing my name from the case and then he "fired" my sister as a client. She dismissed (?? I think this is the right term) her case since she no longer had a lawyer and after some soul searching and a couple visits with a counselor at school I told her not to contact me again & blocked her. My brother was willing to forgive me for some reason. I'm grateful for it, but I was a real jackass until I posted here about my grandparents' situation. He keeps me in the loop which is how I know how the last almost 5 months have played out. My brother's attorney for the trust started getting emails from my sister's NEW lawyer (this would be the 3rd one she's used about her complaints over my grandparents' estate) later in the fall. She was claiming to Lawyer #3 that my brother was hiding bank accounts/money, that he was letting the trust's real estate properties go to junk and not taking care of them, that he didn't have insurance on the properties, he was letting people live there for free, and a bunch of other stuff that I could see was completely not true. She also started telling my grandparents these lies which upset them and and, being confused, they believed her for a bit and were just awful to my brother and me. Lawyer #3 was sending demanding emails to my brother's lawyer for him to show proof that the houses are in good shape, insured, not being misused, on and on and on. After a couple months of this, my brother's lawyer got an email directly from my sister where she listed demands such as my brother must let her take inventory of all my grandparents' possessions and take some keepsakes for herself, that any renters had to be evicted immediately, that he had to put all the real estate up for sale within 30 days, and other things that my brother's lawyer explained that he absolutely did not have to do - and if these things didn't happen within 30 days she would be forced to pursue further legal action. And she cc:ed her lawyer on this email. Well, my brother's lawyer got a call that same day from Lawyer #3 saying he had nothing to do with that email and wasn't consulted. That was the last we heard anything from Lawyer #3 and all was quiet for a few months. And that brings me to the current situation. My brother's lawyer recently forwarded him copies of emails with, drumroll please, my sister's NEW lawyer - Lawyer #4! This lawyer is from a firm that does local ads like "Got a DUI? Charged with a crime? We can help!" I don't know why they're taking on a probate situation but it looks like they are. And, really, it's the same stupid claims she made with Lawyer #3 and my brother's lawyer has already gone over with him exactly what he's supposed to be doing as the trustee so he knows he doesn't have to do any of the stuff she's saying. It's just... this is getting very hard on my brother. He's just so tired of it all. What I want to know is I guess not so much about what legal steps he should be taking, because his lawyer has that covered, but maybe some advice from you guys since you've been dealing with all types of people in court. Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? Is there anything we can do to get her to stop? My brother's lawyer said he's seen people act like this for years - but he didn't have any advice on anything we could do to get her to back off since she isn't breaking any laws. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions anyone has. | d1he5ub | d1hs8bm | 1,459,232,794 | 1,459,266,453 | 12 | 18 | I am not a lawyer but I posted on your original post and remembered it. I'm glad your brother has forgiven you. If your sister persists, it's possible she could be labeled a vexatious litigant which would make it much harder for her to abuse the legal system. I have no idea if she had reached that level yet but it's one option to keep in mind. I don't know if he can ignore anything from her unless filed in court since many of the attempts haven't resulted in court filings yet. | Perhaps you could point out to your sister that she is whittling away at the inheritance by causing legal spending-- to her own detriment. Also, did you ever alert her that record of her indebtedness still exists? It might take the wind out of her sails in terms of being interested in getting this mess before a judge. | 0 | 33,659 | 1.5 |
4cdqn0 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: OH: I think I've gotten caught up in a situation involving lying to/in court and I don't know what to do Original post is here First, I'd like to thank everyone here (and /r/bestoflegaladvice) for your input, suggestions, and the harsh words that it turns out I needed last fall. A few people commented that I sounded young and that's pretty true. My brother & sister are much older than me and my parents had me later in life. Mom used to say I was her favorite surprise. :) So, yeah, I'm just getting started in college and don't have much real world experience which isn't an excuse for how I acted, but it is what it is and I'm trying to be better. I took a humanities class that covers aging this semester because of this whole situation with my grandparents and I learned so, so much. I really enjoyed it too. I'm thinking about changing my major so I can go into a field that helps protect the elderly like maybe social work. So, I told "our" lawyer back in November that I wanted nothing to do with the court case anymore and gave him a general outline of why I'd come to believe that my sister wasn't being totally honest. He filed stuff to show I was withdrawing my name from the case and then he "fired" my sister as a client. She dismissed (?? I think this is the right term) her case since she no longer had a lawyer and after some soul searching and a couple visits with a counselor at school I told her not to contact me again & blocked her. My brother was willing to forgive me for some reason. I'm grateful for it, but I was a real jackass until I posted here about my grandparents' situation. He keeps me in the loop which is how I know how the last almost 5 months have played out. My brother's attorney for the trust started getting emails from my sister's NEW lawyer (this would be the 3rd one she's used about her complaints over my grandparents' estate) later in the fall. She was claiming to Lawyer #3 that my brother was hiding bank accounts/money, that he was letting the trust's real estate properties go to junk and not taking care of them, that he didn't have insurance on the properties, he was letting people live there for free, and a bunch of other stuff that I could see was completely not true. She also started telling my grandparents these lies which upset them and and, being confused, they believed her for a bit and were just awful to my brother and me. Lawyer #3 was sending demanding emails to my brother's lawyer for him to show proof that the houses are in good shape, insured, not being misused, on and on and on. After a couple months of this, my brother's lawyer got an email directly from my sister where she listed demands such as my brother must let her take inventory of all my grandparents' possessions and take some keepsakes for herself, that any renters had to be evicted immediately, that he had to put all the real estate up for sale within 30 days, and other things that my brother's lawyer explained that he absolutely did not have to do - and if these things didn't happen within 30 days she would be forced to pursue further legal action. And she cc:ed her lawyer on this email. Well, my brother's lawyer got a call that same day from Lawyer #3 saying he had nothing to do with that email and wasn't consulted. That was the last we heard anything from Lawyer #3 and all was quiet for a few months. And that brings me to the current situation. My brother's lawyer recently forwarded him copies of emails with, drumroll please, my sister's NEW lawyer - Lawyer #4! This lawyer is from a firm that does local ads like "Got a DUI? Charged with a crime? We can help!" I don't know why they're taking on a probate situation but it looks like they are. And, really, it's the same stupid claims she made with Lawyer #3 and my brother's lawyer has already gone over with him exactly what he's supposed to be doing as the trustee so he knows he doesn't have to do any of the stuff she's saying. It's just... this is getting very hard on my brother. He's just so tired of it all. What I want to know is I guess not so much about what legal steps he should be taking, because his lawyer has that covered, but maybe some advice from you guys since you've been dealing with all types of people in court. Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? Is there anything we can do to get her to stop? My brother's lawyer said he's seen people act like this for years - but he didn't have any advice on anything we could do to get her to back off since she isn't breaking any laws. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions anyone has. | d1hs8bm | d1hkvbk | 1,459,266,453 | 1,459,255,087 | 18 | 6 | Perhaps you could point out to your sister that she is whittling away at the inheritance by causing legal spending-- to her own detriment. Also, did you ever alert her that record of her indebtedness still exists? It might take the wind out of her sails in terms of being interested in getting this mess before a judge. | Civil action to declare person vexatious litigator.: http://codes.ohio.gov/orc/2323.52 This is just from googling, I don't know anything about the underlying law. From reading the statute, it's not obvious that it applies necessarily, but it's not obvious that it doesn't. | 1 | 11,366 | 3 |
4cdqn0 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: OH: I think I've gotten caught up in a situation involving lying to/in court and I don't know what to do Original post is here First, I'd like to thank everyone here (and /r/bestoflegaladvice) for your input, suggestions, and the harsh words that it turns out I needed last fall. A few people commented that I sounded young and that's pretty true. My brother & sister are much older than me and my parents had me later in life. Mom used to say I was her favorite surprise. :) So, yeah, I'm just getting started in college and don't have much real world experience which isn't an excuse for how I acted, but it is what it is and I'm trying to be better. I took a humanities class that covers aging this semester because of this whole situation with my grandparents and I learned so, so much. I really enjoyed it too. I'm thinking about changing my major so I can go into a field that helps protect the elderly like maybe social work. So, I told "our" lawyer back in November that I wanted nothing to do with the court case anymore and gave him a general outline of why I'd come to believe that my sister wasn't being totally honest. He filed stuff to show I was withdrawing my name from the case and then he "fired" my sister as a client. She dismissed (?? I think this is the right term) her case since she no longer had a lawyer and after some soul searching and a couple visits with a counselor at school I told her not to contact me again & blocked her. My brother was willing to forgive me for some reason. I'm grateful for it, but I was a real jackass until I posted here about my grandparents' situation. He keeps me in the loop which is how I know how the last almost 5 months have played out. My brother's attorney for the trust started getting emails from my sister's NEW lawyer (this would be the 3rd one she's used about her complaints over my grandparents' estate) later in the fall. She was claiming to Lawyer #3 that my brother was hiding bank accounts/money, that he was letting the trust's real estate properties go to junk and not taking care of them, that he didn't have insurance on the properties, he was letting people live there for free, and a bunch of other stuff that I could see was completely not true. She also started telling my grandparents these lies which upset them and and, being confused, they believed her for a bit and were just awful to my brother and me. Lawyer #3 was sending demanding emails to my brother's lawyer for him to show proof that the houses are in good shape, insured, not being misused, on and on and on. After a couple months of this, my brother's lawyer got an email directly from my sister where she listed demands such as my brother must let her take inventory of all my grandparents' possessions and take some keepsakes for herself, that any renters had to be evicted immediately, that he had to put all the real estate up for sale within 30 days, and other things that my brother's lawyer explained that he absolutely did not have to do - and if these things didn't happen within 30 days she would be forced to pursue further legal action. And she cc:ed her lawyer on this email. Well, my brother's lawyer got a call that same day from Lawyer #3 saying he had nothing to do with that email and wasn't consulted. That was the last we heard anything from Lawyer #3 and all was quiet for a few months. And that brings me to the current situation. My brother's lawyer recently forwarded him copies of emails with, drumroll please, my sister's NEW lawyer - Lawyer #4! This lawyer is from a firm that does local ads like "Got a DUI? Charged with a crime? We can help!" I don't know why they're taking on a probate situation but it looks like they are. And, really, it's the same stupid claims she made with Lawyer #3 and my brother's lawyer has already gone over with him exactly what he's supposed to be doing as the trustee so he knows he doesn't have to do any of the stuff she's saying. It's just... this is getting very hard on my brother. He's just so tired of it all. What I want to know is I guess not so much about what legal steps he should be taking, because his lawyer has that covered, but maybe some advice from you guys since you've been dealing with all types of people in court. Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? Is there anything we can do to get her to stop? My brother's lawyer said he's seen people act like this for years - but he didn't have any advice on anything we could do to get her to back off since she isn't breaking any laws. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions anyone has. | d1hmafw | d1ha9ep | 1,459,257,843 | 1,459,223,831 | 17 | 15 | Your brother sounds like he is doing an outstanding job of taking care of your grandparents - my best to him. And that half million debt of your sisters probably goes a long way toward explaining her actions. She wants to get in there, get rid of the debt, and get whatever else she can from the estate. You and your brother stand strong on this. | Your grandparent's estate has been paying for your brother's lawyers. Is there any way she can be forced to pay that back and/or stop filing suits? Is this frivolous on her part? | 1 | 34,012 | 1.133333 |
4cdqn0 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: OH: I think I've gotten caught up in a situation involving lying to/in court and I don't know what to do Original post is here First, I'd like to thank everyone here (and /r/bestoflegaladvice) for your input, suggestions, and the harsh words that it turns out I needed last fall. A few people commented that I sounded young and that's pretty true. My brother & sister are much older than me and my parents had me later in life. Mom used to say I was her favorite surprise. :) So, yeah, I'm just getting started in college and don't have much real world experience which isn't an excuse for how I acted, but it is what it is and I'm trying to be better. I took a humanities class that covers aging this semester because of this whole situation with my grandparents and I learned so, so much. I really enjoyed it too. I'm thinking about changing my major so I can go into a field that helps protect the elderly like maybe social work. So, I told "our" lawyer back in November that I wanted nothing to do with the court case anymore and gave him a general outline of why I'd come to believe that my sister wasn't being totally honest. He filed stuff to show I was withdrawing my name from the case and then he "fired" my sister as a client. She dismissed (?? I think this is the right term) her case since she no longer had a lawyer and after some soul searching and a couple visits with a counselor at school I told her not to contact me again & blocked her. My brother was willing to forgive me for some reason. I'm grateful for it, but I was a real jackass until I posted here about my grandparents' situation. He keeps me in the loop which is how I know how the last almost 5 months have played out. My brother's attorney for the trust started getting emails from my sister's NEW lawyer (this would be the 3rd one she's used about her complaints over my grandparents' estate) later in the fall. She was claiming to Lawyer #3 that my brother was hiding bank accounts/money, that he was letting the trust's real estate properties go to junk and not taking care of them, that he didn't have insurance on the properties, he was letting people live there for free, and a bunch of other stuff that I could see was completely not true. She also started telling my grandparents these lies which upset them and and, being confused, they believed her for a bit and were just awful to my brother and me. Lawyer #3 was sending demanding emails to my brother's lawyer for him to show proof that the houses are in good shape, insured, not being misused, on and on and on. After a couple months of this, my brother's lawyer got an email directly from my sister where she listed demands such as my brother must let her take inventory of all my grandparents' possessions and take some keepsakes for herself, that any renters had to be evicted immediately, that he had to put all the real estate up for sale within 30 days, and other things that my brother's lawyer explained that he absolutely did not have to do - and if these things didn't happen within 30 days she would be forced to pursue further legal action. And she cc:ed her lawyer on this email. Well, my brother's lawyer got a call that same day from Lawyer #3 saying he had nothing to do with that email and wasn't consulted. That was the last we heard anything from Lawyer #3 and all was quiet for a few months. And that brings me to the current situation. My brother's lawyer recently forwarded him copies of emails with, drumroll please, my sister's NEW lawyer - Lawyer #4! This lawyer is from a firm that does local ads like "Got a DUI? Charged with a crime? We can help!" I don't know why they're taking on a probate situation but it looks like they are. And, really, it's the same stupid claims she made with Lawyer #3 and my brother's lawyer has already gone over with him exactly what he's supposed to be doing as the trustee so he knows he doesn't have to do any of the stuff she's saying. It's just... this is getting very hard on my brother. He's just so tired of it all. What I want to know is I guess not so much about what legal steps he should be taking, because his lawyer has that covered, but maybe some advice from you guys since you've been dealing with all types of people in court. Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? Is there anything we can do to get her to stop? My brother's lawyer said he's seen people act like this for years - but he didn't have any advice on anything we could do to get her to back off since she isn't breaking any laws. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions anyone has. | d1he5ub | d1hmafw | 1,459,232,794 | 1,459,257,843 | 12 | 17 | I am not a lawyer but I posted on your original post and remembered it. I'm glad your brother has forgiven you. If your sister persists, it's possible she could be labeled a vexatious litigant which would make it much harder for her to abuse the legal system. I have no idea if she had reached that level yet but it's one option to keep in mind. I don't know if he can ignore anything from her unless filed in court since many of the attempts haven't resulted in court filings yet. | Your brother sounds like he is doing an outstanding job of taking care of your grandparents - my best to him. And that half million debt of your sisters probably goes a long way toward explaining her actions. She wants to get in there, get rid of the debt, and get whatever else she can from the estate. You and your brother stand strong on this. | 0 | 25,049 | 1.416667 |
4cdqn0 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: OH: I think I've gotten caught up in a situation involving lying to/in court and I don't know what to do Original post is here First, I'd like to thank everyone here (and /r/bestoflegaladvice) for your input, suggestions, and the harsh words that it turns out I needed last fall. A few people commented that I sounded young and that's pretty true. My brother & sister are much older than me and my parents had me later in life. Mom used to say I was her favorite surprise. :) So, yeah, I'm just getting started in college and don't have much real world experience which isn't an excuse for how I acted, but it is what it is and I'm trying to be better. I took a humanities class that covers aging this semester because of this whole situation with my grandparents and I learned so, so much. I really enjoyed it too. I'm thinking about changing my major so I can go into a field that helps protect the elderly like maybe social work. So, I told "our" lawyer back in November that I wanted nothing to do with the court case anymore and gave him a general outline of why I'd come to believe that my sister wasn't being totally honest. He filed stuff to show I was withdrawing my name from the case and then he "fired" my sister as a client. She dismissed (?? I think this is the right term) her case since she no longer had a lawyer and after some soul searching and a couple visits with a counselor at school I told her not to contact me again & blocked her. My brother was willing to forgive me for some reason. I'm grateful for it, but I was a real jackass until I posted here about my grandparents' situation. He keeps me in the loop which is how I know how the last almost 5 months have played out. My brother's attorney for the trust started getting emails from my sister's NEW lawyer (this would be the 3rd one she's used about her complaints over my grandparents' estate) later in the fall. She was claiming to Lawyer #3 that my brother was hiding bank accounts/money, that he was letting the trust's real estate properties go to junk and not taking care of them, that he didn't have insurance on the properties, he was letting people live there for free, and a bunch of other stuff that I could see was completely not true. She also started telling my grandparents these lies which upset them and and, being confused, they believed her for a bit and were just awful to my brother and me. Lawyer #3 was sending demanding emails to my brother's lawyer for him to show proof that the houses are in good shape, insured, not being misused, on and on and on. After a couple months of this, my brother's lawyer got an email directly from my sister where she listed demands such as my brother must let her take inventory of all my grandparents' possessions and take some keepsakes for herself, that any renters had to be evicted immediately, that he had to put all the real estate up for sale within 30 days, and other things that my brother's lawyer explained that he absolutely did not have to do - and if these things didn't happen within 30 days she would be forced to pursue further legal action. And she cc:ed her lawyer on this email. Well, my brother's lawyer got a call that same day from Lawyer #3 saying he had nothing to do with that email and wasn't consulted. That was the last we heard anything from Lawyer #3 and all was quiet for a few months. And that brings me to the current situation. My brother's lawyer recently forwarded him copies of emails with, drumroll please, my sister's NEW lawyer - Lawyer #4! This lawyer is from a firm that does local ads like "Got a DUI? Charged with a crime? We can help!" I don't know why they're taking on a probate situation but it looks like they are. And, really, it's the same stupid claims she made with Lawyer #3 and my brother's lawyer has already gone over with him exactly what he's supposed to be doing as the trustee so he knows he doesn't have to do any of the stuff she's saying. It's just... this is getting very hard on my brother. He's just so tired of it all. What I want to know is I guess not so much about what legal steps he should be taking, because his lawyer has that covered, but maybe some advice from you guys since you've been dealing with all types of people in court. Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? Is there anything we can do to get her to stop? My brother's lawyer said he's seen people act like this for years - but he didn't have any advice on anything we could do to get her to back off since she isn't breaking any laws. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions anyone has. | d1hkvbk | d1hmafw | 1,459,255,087 | 1,459,257,843 | 6 | 17 | Civil action to declare person vexatious litigator.: http://codes.ohio.gov/orc/2323.52 This is just from googling, I don't know anything about the underlying law. From reading the statute, it's not obvious that it applies necessarily, but it's not obvious that it doesn't. | Your brother sounds like he is doing an outstanding job of taking care of your grandparents - my best to him. And that half million debt of your sisters probably goes a long way toward explaining her actions. She wants to get in there, get rid of the debt, and get whatever else she can from the estate. You and your brother stand strong on this. | 0 | 2,756 | 2.833333 |
4cdqn0 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: OH: I think I've gotten caught up in a situation involving lying to/in court and I don't know what to do Original post is here First, I'd like to thank everyone here (and /r/bestoflegaladvice) for your input, suggestions, and the harsh words that it turns out I needed last fall. A few people commented that I sounded young and that's pretty true. My brother & sister are much older than me and my parents had me later in life. Mom used to say I was her favorite surprise. :) So, yeah, I'm just getting started in college and don't have much real world experience which isn't an excuse for how I acted, but it is what it is and I'm trying to be better. I took a humanities class that covers aging this semester because of this whole situation with my grandparents and I learned so, so much. I really enjoyed it too. I'm thinking about changing my major so I can go into a field that helps protect the elderly like maybe social work. So, I told "our" lawyer back in November that I wanted nothing to do with the court case anymore and gave him a general outline of why I'd come to believe that my sister wasn't being totally honest. He filed stuff to show I was withdrawing my name from the case and then he "fired" my sister as a client. She dismissed (?? I think this is the right term) her case since she no longer had a lawyer and after some soul searching and a couple visits with a counselor at school I told her not to contact me again & blocked her. My brother was willing to forgive me for some reason. I'm grateful for it, but I was a real jackass until I posted here about my grandparents' situation. He keeps me in the loop which is how I know how the last almost 5 months have played out. My brother's attorney for the trust started getting emails from my sister's NEW lawyer (this would be the 3rd one she's used about her complaints over my grandparents' estate) later in the fall. She was claiming to Lawyer #3 that my brother was hiding bank accounts/money, that he was letting the trust's real estate properties go to junk and not taking care of them, that he didn't have insurance on the properties, he was letting people live there for free, and a bunch of other stuff that I could see was completely not true. She also started telling my grandparents these lies which upset them and and, being confused, they believed her for a bit and were just awful to my brother and me. Lawyer #3 was sending demanding emails to my brother's lawyer for him to show proof that the houses are in good shape, insured, not being misused, on and on and on. After a couple months of this, my brother's lawyer got an email directly from my sister where she listed demands such as my brother must let her take inventory of all my grandparents' possessions and take some keepsakes for herself, that any renters had to be evicted immediately, that he had to put all the real estate up for sale within 30 days, and other things that my brother's lawyer explained that he absolutely did not have to do - and if these things didn't happen within 30 days she would be forced to pursue further legal action. And she cc:ed her lawyer on this email. Well, my brother's lawyer got a call that same day from Lawyer #3 saying he had nothing to do with that email and wasn't consulted. That was the last we heard anything from Lawyer #3 and all was quiet for a few months. And that brings me to the current situation. My brother's lawyer recently forwarded him copies of emails with, drumroll please, my sister's NEW lawyer - Lawyer #4! This lawyer is from a firm that does local ads like "Got a DUI? Charged with a crime? We can help!" I don't know why they're taking on a probate situation but it looks like they are. And, really, it's the same stupid claims she made with Lawyer #3 and my brother's lawyer has already gone over with him exactly what he's supposed to be doing as the trustee so he knows he doesn't have to do any of the stuff she's saying. It's just... this is getting very hard on my brother. He's just so tired of it all. What I want to know is I guess not so much about what legal steps he should be taking, because his lawyer has that covered, but maybe some advice from you guys since you've been dealing with all types of people in court. Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? Is there anything we can do to get her to stop? My brother's lawyer said he's seen people act like this for years - but he didn't have any advice on anything we could do to get her to back off since she isn't breaking any laws. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions anyone has. | d1i92fw | d1he5ub | 1,459,287,641 | 1,459,232,794 | 15 | 12 | I concur with everyone else in commending you for seeing the error of your ways. I'm glad you have been able to patch things up with your brother. Your specific question: >Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? This is almost impossible to answer, but I am in the same line of work as your brother's attorney so I see this exact situation over and over again. I have developed a few theories to "explain" you sister's actions. (Note: I'm obviously not justifying her terrible behavior, just attempting to understand it.): 1. **Greed.** Plain and simple. Your grandparents have money and she wants it. Either now by stealing it if she had access or later by not providing enough for their care and then inheriting it (all of it because she would have the will/trust changed). 1. **Control.** This is a little more subtle, but sometimes people just want to have power and be in control. She is resentful of your brother for being in control and handling the situation. She wants to be in charge so she can "do better." 1. **Guilt.** This one is a bit out of the box and nuanced but stay with me. Armchair psychology time. Again your sister is resentful of your brother. Why? Because your brother is doing a great job that she herself wouldn't or couldn't do. She will not admit this to herself on a conscious level, but she understand subconsciously that she would do a terrible job or be overwhelmed. The trick is she consciously believes that she is capable and competent (everyone is the hero of their own story). The creates feelings of guilt and anger about herself. This inner conflict manifests it's guilt and anger outward instead of inward as a self defense mechanism. So the focus of her anger is on your brother instead of herself where it should be. All of those explain why she won't let it go. And she won't, this will continue after your grandparents are going and I'm sorry to say your sister will never be close to you or your family again. | I am not a lawyer but I posted on your original post and remembered it. I'm glad your brother has forgiven you. If your sister persists, it's possible she could be labeled a vexatious litigant which would make it much harder for her to abuse the legal system. I have no idea if she had reached that level yet but it's one option to keep in mind. I don't know if he can ignore anything from her unless filed in court since many of the attempts haven't resulted in court filings yet. | 1 | 54,847 | 1.25 |
4cdqn0 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: OH: I think I've gotten caught up in a situation involving lying to/in court and I don't know what to do Original post is here First, I'd like to thank everyone here (and /r/bestoflegaladvice) for your input, suggestions, and the harsh words that it turns out I needed last fall. A few people commented that I sounded young and that's pretty true. My brother & sister are much older than me and my parents had me later in life. Mom used to say I was her favorite surprise. :) So, yeah, I'm just getting started in college and don't have much real world experience which isn't an excuse for how I acted, but it is what it is and I'm trying to be better. I took a humanities class that covers aging this semester because of this whole situation with my grandparents and I learned so, so much. I really enjoyed it too. I'm thinking about changing my major so I can go into a field that helps protect the elderly like maybe social work. So, I told "our" lawyer back in November that I wanted nothing to do with the court case anymore and gave him a general outline of why I'd come to believe that my sister wasn't being totally honest. He filed stuff to show I was withdrawing my name from the case and then he "fired" my sister as a client. She dismissed (?? I think this is the right term) her case since she no longer had a lawyer and after some soul searching and a couple visits with a counselor at school I told her not to contact me again & blocked her. My brother was willing to forgive me for some reason. I'm grateful for it, but I was a real jackass until I posted here about my grandparents' situation. He keeps me in the loop which is how I know how the last almost 5 months have played out. My brother's attorney for the trust started getting emails from my sister's NEW lawyer (this would be the 3rd one she's used about her complaints over my grandparents' estate) later in the fall. She was claiming to Lawyer #3 that my brother was hiding bank accounts/money, that he was letting the trust's real estate properties go to junk and not taking care of them, that he didn't have insurance on the properties, he was letting people live there for free, and a bunch of other stuff that I could see was completely not true. She also started telling my grandparents these lies which upset them and and, being confused, they believed her for a bit and were just awful to my brother and me. Lawyer #3 was sending demanding emails to my brother's lawyer for him to show proof that the houses are in good shape, insured, not being misused, on and on and on. After a couple months of this, my brother's lawyer got an email directly from my sister where she listed demands such as my brother must let her take inventory of all my grandparents' possessions and take some keepsakes for herself, that any renters had to be evicted immediately, that he had to put all the real estate up for sale within 30 days, and other things that my brother's lawyer explained that he absolutely did not have to do - and if these things didn't happen within 30 days she would be forced to pursue further legal action. And she cc:ed her lawyer on this email. Well, my brother's lawyer got a call that same day from Lawyer #3 saying he had nothing to do with that email and wasn't consulted. That was the last we heard anything from Lawyer #3 and all was quiet for a few months. And that brings me to the current situation. My brother's lawyer recently forwarded him copies of emails with, drumroll please, my sister's NEW lawyer - Lawyer #4! This lawyer is from a firm that does local ads like "Got a DUI? Charged with a crime? We can help!" I don't know why they're taking on a probate situation but it looks like they are. And, really, it's the same stupid claims she made with Lawyer #3 and my brother's lawyer has already gone over with him exactly what he's supposed to be doing as the trustee so he knows he doesn't have to do any of the stuff she's saying. It's just... this is getting very hard on my brother. He's just so tired of it all. What I want to know is I guess not so much about what legal steps he should be taking, because his lawyer has that covered, but maybe some advice from you guys since you've been dealing with all types of people in court. Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? Is there anything we can do to get her to stop? My brother's lawyer said he's seen people act like this for years - but he didn't have any advice on anything we could do to get her to back off since she isn't breaking any laws. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions anyone has. | d1i92fw | d1hsmqs | 1,459,287,641 | 1,459,266,963 | 15 | 10 | I concur with everyone else in commending you for seeing the error of your ways. I'm glad you have been able to patch things up with your brother. Your specific question: >Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? This is almost impossible to answer, but I am in the same line of work as your brother's attorney so I see this exact situation over and over again. I have developed a few theories to "explain" you sister's actions. (Note: I'm obviously not justifying her terrible behavior, just attempting to understand it.): 1. **Greed.** Plain and simple. Your grandparents have money and she wants it. Either now by stealing it if she had access or later by not providing enough for their care and then inheriting it (all of it because she would have the will/trust changed). 1. **Control.** This is a little more subtle, but sometimes people just want to have power and be in control. She is resentful of your brother for being in control and handling the situation. She wants to be in charge so she can "do better." 1. **Guilt.** This one is a bit out of the box and nuanced but stay with me. Armchair psychology time. Again your sister is resentful of your brother. Why? Because your brother is doing a great job that she herself wouldn't or couldn't do. She will not admit this to herself on a conscious level, but she understand subconsciously that she would do a terrible job or be overwhelmed. The trick is she consciously believes that she is capable and competent (everyone is the hero of their own story). The creates feelings of guilt and anger about herself. This inner conflict manifests it's guilt and anger outward instead of inward as a self defense mechanism. So the focus of her anger is on your brother instead of herself where it should be. All of those explain why she won't let it go. And she won't, this will continue after your grandparents are going and I'm sorry to say your sister will never be close to you or your family again. | I am not a lawyer and have no legal advice for you. I am however in a similar enough situation to offer this: support your brother and grandparents in every way you can. It sounds like you are doing that anyway, for instance by seeking legal-ish help here and by standing by him. Continuing to be steadfast in your support and assistance (running errands? mowing his lawn?) will help him retain his sanity. Good luck. And congratulations for having such an upstanding, honorable brother. | 1 | 20,678 | 1.5 |
4cdqn0 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: OH: I think I've gotten caught up in a situation involving lying to/in court and I don't know what to do Original post is here First, I'd like to thank everyone here (and /r/bestoflegaladvice) for your input, suggestions, and the harsh words that it turns out I needed last fall. A few people commented that I sounded young and that's pretty true. My brother & sister are much older than me and my parents had me later in life. Mom used to say I was her favorite surprise. :) So, yeah, I'm just getting started in college and don't have much real world experience which isn't an excuse for how I acted, but it is what it is and I'm trying to be better. I took a humanities class that covers aging this semester because of this whole situation with my grandparents and I learned so, so much. I really enjoyed it too. I'm thinking about changing my major so I can go into a field that helps protect the elderly like maybe social work. So, I told "our" lawyer back in November that I wanted nothing to do with the court case anymore and gave him a general outline of why I'd come to believe that my sister wasn't being totally honest. He filed stuff to show I was withdrawing my name from the case and then he "fired" my sister as a client. She dismissed (?? I think this is the right term) her case since she no longer had a lawyer and after some soul searching and a couple visits with a counselor at school I told her not to contact me again & blocked her. My brother was willing to forgive me for some reason. I'm grateful for it, but I was a real jackass until I posted here about my grandparents' situation. He keeps me in the loop which is how I know how the last almost 5 months have played out. My brother's attorney for the trust started getting emails from my sister's NEW lawyer (this would be the 3rd one she's used about her complaints over my grandparents' estate) later in the fall. She was claiming to Lawyer #3 that my brother was hiding bank accounts/money, that he was letting the trust's real estate properties go to junk and not taking care of them, that he didn't have insurance on the properties, he was letting people live there for free, and a bunch of other stuff that I could see was completely not true. She also started telling my grandparents these lies which upset them and and, being confused, they believed her for a bit and were just awful to my brother and me. Lawyer #3 was sending demanding emails to my brother's lawyer for him to show proof that the houses are in good shape, insured, not being misused, on and on and on. After a couple months of this, my brother's lawyer got an email directly from my sister where she listed demands such as my brother must let her take inventory of all my grandparents' possessions and take some keepsakes for herself, that any renters had to be evicted immediately, that he had to put all the real estate up for sale within 30 days, and other things that my brother's lawyer explained that he absolutely did not have to do - and if these things didn't happen within 30 days she would be forced to pursue further legal action. And she cc:ed her lawyer on this email. Well, my brother's lawyer got a call that same day from Lawyer #3 saying he had nothing to do with that email and wasn't consulted. That was the last we heard anything from Lawyer #3 and all was quiet for a few months. And that brings me to the current situation. My brother's lawyer recently forwarded him copies of emails with, drumroll please, my sister's NEW lawyer - Lawyer #4! This lawyer is from a firm that does local ads like "Got a DUI? Charged with a crime? We can help!" I don't know why they're taking on a probate situation but it looks like they are. And, really, it's the same stupid claims she made with Lawyer #3 and my brother's lawyer has already gone over with him exactly what he's supposed to be doing as the trustee so he knows he doesn't have to do any of the stuff she's saying. It's just... this is getting very hard on my brother. He's just so tired of it all. What I want to know is I guess not so much about what legal steps he should be taking, because his lawyer has that covered, but maybe some advice from you guys since you've been dealing with all types of people in court. Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? Is there anything we can do to get her to stop? My brother's lawyer said he's seen people act like this for years - but he didn't have any advice on anything we could do to get her to back off since she isn't breaking any laws. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions anyone has. | d1hvbrw | d1i92fw | 1,459,270,382 | 1,459,287,641 | 7 | 15 | Why not just let your sister know how much she is costing the trust in terms of lawyer's fees and let her know it will be deducted from her share whenever your grandparents die? This way, there is no cost to sue her now, and the onus will be on her to sue later one and spend more money herself. Of course, I am not a lawyer and don't know if the trust can decide to deduct the costs of these frivolous claims from her part. | I concur with everyone else in commending you for seeing the error of your ways. I'm glad you have been able to patch things up with your brother. Your specific question: >Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? This is almost impossible to answer, but I am in the same line of work as your brother's attorney so I see this exact situation over and over again. I have developed a few theories to "explain" you sister's actions. (Note: I'm obviously not justifying her terrible behavior, just attempting to understand it.): 1. **Greed.** Plain and simple. Your grandparents have money and she wants it. Either now by stealing it if she had access or later by not providing enough for their care and then inheriting it (all of it because she would have the will/trust changed). 1. **Control.** This is a little more subtle, but sometimes people just want to have power and be in control. She is resentful of your brother for being in control and handling the situation. She wants to be in charge so she can "do better." 1. **Guilt.** This one is a bit out of the box and nuanced but stay with me. Armchair psychology time. Again your sister is resentful of your brother. Why? Because your brother is doing a great job that she herself wouldn't or couldn't do. She will not admit this to herself on a conscious level, but she understand subconsciously that she would do a terrible job or be overwhelmed. The trick is she consciously believes that she is capable and competent (everyone is the hero of their own story). The creates feelings of guilt and anger about herself. This inner conflict manifests it's guilt and anger outward instead of inward as a self defense mechanism. So the focus of her anger is on your brother instead of herself where it should be. All of those explain why she won't let it go. And she won't, this will continue after your grandparents are going and I'm sorry to say your sister will never be close to you or your family again. | 0 | 17,259 | 2.142857 |
4cdqn0 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: OH: I think I've gotten caught up in a situation involving lying to/in court and I don't know what to do Original post is here First, I'd like to thank everyone here (and /r/bestoflegaladvice) for your input, suggestions, and the harsh words that it turns out I needed last fall. A few people commented that I sounded young and that's pretty true. My brother & sister are much older than me and my parents had me later in life. Mom used to say I was her favorite surprise. :) So, yeah, I'm just getting started in college and don't have much real world experience which isn't an excuse for how I acted, but it is what it is and I'm trying to be better. I took a humanities class that covers aging this semester because of this whole situation with my grandparents and I learned so, so much. I really enjoyed it too. I'm thinking about changing my major so I can go into a field that helps protect the elderly like maybe social work. So, I told "our" lawyer back in November that I wanted nothing to do with the court case anymore and gave him a general outline of why I'd come to believe that my sister wasn't being totally honest. He filed stuff to show I was withdrawing my name from the case and then he "fired" my sister as a client. She dismissed (?? I think this is the right term) her case since she no longer had a lawyer and after some soul searching and a couple visits with a counselor at school I told her not to contact me again & blocked her. My brother was willing to forgive me for some reason. I'm grateful for it, but I was a real jackass until I posted here about my grandparents' situation. He keeps me in the loop which is how I know how the last almost 5 months have played out. My brother's attorney for the trust started getting emails from my sister's NEW lawyer (this would be the 3rd one she's used about her complaints over my grandparents' estate) later in the fall. She was claiming to Lawyer #3 that my brother was hiding bank accounts/money, that he was letting the trust's real estate properties go to junk and not taking care of them, that he didn't have insurance on the properties, he was letting people live there for free, and a bunch of other stuff that I could see was completely not true. She also started telling my grandparents these lies which upset them and and, being confused, they believed her for a bit and were just awful to my brother and me. Lawyer #3 was sending demanding emails to my brother's lawyer for him to show proof that the houses are in good shape, insured, not being misused, on and on and on. After a couple months of this, my brother's lawyer got an email directly from my sister where she listed demands such as my brother must let her take inventory of all my grandparents' possessions and take some keepsakes for herself, that any renters had to be evicted immediately, that he had to put all the real estate up for sale within 30 days, and other things that my brother's lawyer explained that he absolutely did not have to do - and if these things didn't happen within 30 days she would be forced to pursue further legal action. And she cc:ed her lawyer on this email. Well, my brother's lawyer got a call that same day from Lawyer #3 saying he had nothing to do with that email and wasn't consulted. That was the last we heard anything from Lawyer #3 and all was quiet for a few months. And that brings me to the current situation. My brother's lawyer recently forwarded him copies of emails with, drumroll please, my sister's NEW lawyer - Lawyer #4! This lawyer is from a firm that does local ads like "Got a DUI? Charged with a crime? We can help!" I don't know why they're taking on a probate situation but it looks like they are. And, really, it's the same stupid claims she made with Lawyer #3 and my brother's lawyer has already gone over with him exactly what he's supposed to be doing as the trustee so he knows he doesn't have to do any of the stuff she's saying. It's just... this is getting very hard on my brother. He's just so tired of it all. What I want to know is I guess not so much about what legal steps he should be taking, because his lawyer has that covered, but maybe some advice from you guys since you've been dealing with all types of people in court. Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? Is there anything we can do to get her to stop? My brother's lawyer said he's seen people act like this for years - but he didn't have any advice on anything we could do to get her to back off since she isn't breaking any laws. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions anyone has. | d1i92fw | d1hkvbk | 1,459,287,641 | 1,459,255,087 | 15 | 6 | I concur with everyone else in commending you for seeing the error of your ways. I'm glad you have been able to patch things up with your brother. Your specific question: >Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? This is almost impossible to answer, but I am in the same line of work as your brother's attorney so I see this exact situation over and over again. I have developed a few theories to "explain" you sister's actions. (Note: I'm obviously not justifying her terrible behavior, just attempting to understand it.): 1. **Greed.** Plain and simple. Your grandparents have money and she wants it. Either now by stealing it if she had access or later by not providing enough for their care and then inheriting it (all of it because she would have the will/trust changed). 1. **Control.** This is a little more subtle, but sometimes people just want to have power and be in control. She is resentful of your brother for being in control and handling the situation. She wants to be in charge so she can "do better." 1. **Guilt.** This one is a bit out of the box and nuanced but stay with me. Armchair psychology time. Again your sister is resentful of your brother. Why? Because your brother is doing a great job that she herself wouldn't or couldn't do. She will not admit this to herself on a conscious level, but she understand subconsciously that she would do a terrible job or be overwhelmed. The trick is she consciously believes that she is capable and competent (everyone is the hero of their own story). The creates feelings of guilt and anger about herself. This inner conflict manifests it's guilt and anger outward instead of inward as a self defense mechanism. So the focus of her anger is on your brother instead of herself where it should be. All of those explain why she won't let it go. And she won't, this will continue after your grandparents are going and I'm sorry to say your sister will never be close to you or your family again. | Civil action to declare person vexatious litigator.: http://codes.ohio.gov/orc/2323.52 This is just from googling, I don't know anything about the underlying law. From reading the statute, it's not obvious that it applies necessarily, but it's not obvious that it doesn't. | 1 | 32,554 | 2.5 |
4cdqn0 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: OH: I think I've gotten caught up in a situation involving lying to/in court and I don't know what to do Original post is here First, I'd like to thank everyone here (and /r/bestoflegaladvice) for your input, suggestions, and the harsh words that it turns out I needed last fall. A few people commented that I sounded young and that's pretty true. My brother & sister are much older than me and my parents had me later in life. Mom used to say I was her favorite surprise. :) So, yeah, I'm just getting started in college and don't have much real world experience which isn't an excuse for how I acted, but it is what it is and I'm trying to be better. I took a humanities class that covers aging this semester because of this whole situation with my grandparents and I learned so, so much. I really enjoyed it too. I'm thinking about changing my major so I can go into a field that helps protect the elderly like maybe social work. So, I told "our" lawyer back in November that I wanted nothing to do with the court case anymore and gave him a general outline of why I'd come to believe that my sister wasn't being totally honest. He filed stuff to show I was withdrawing my name from the case and then he "fired" my sister as a client. She dismissed (?? I think this is the right term) her case since she no longer had a lawyer and after some soul searching and a couple visits with a counselor at school I told her not to contact me again & blocked her. My brother was willing to forgive me for some reason. I'm grateful for it, but I was a real jackass until I posted here about my grandparents' situation. He keeps me in the loop which is how I know how the last almost 5 months have played out. My brother's attorney for the trust started getting emails from my sister's NEW lawyer (this would be the 3rd one she's used about her complaints over my grandparents' estate) later in the fall. She was claiming to Lawyer #3 that my brother was hiding bank accounts/money, that he was letting the trust's real estate properties go to junk and not taking care of them, that he didn't have insurance on the properties, he was letting people live there for free, and a bunch of other stuff that I could see was completely not true. She also started telling my grandparents these lies which upset them and and, being confused, they believed her for a bit and were just awful to my brother and me. Lawyer #3 was sending demanding emails to my brother's lawyer for him to show proof that the houses are in good shape, insured, not being misused, on and on and on. After a couple months of this, my brother's lawyer got an email directly from my sister where she listed demands such as my brother must let her take inventory of all my grandparents' possessions and take some keepsakes for herself, that any renters had to be evicted immediately, that he had to put all the real estate up for sale within 30 days, and other things that my brother's lawyer explained that he absolutely did not have to do - and if these things didn't happen within 30 days she would be forced to pursue further legal action. And she cc:ed her lawyer on this email. Well, my brother's lawyer got a call that same day from Lawyer #3 saying he had nothing to do with that email and wasn't consulted. That was the last we heard anything from Lawyer #3 and all was quiet for a few months. And that brings me to the current situation. My brother's lawyer recently forwarded him copies of emails with, drumroll please, my sister's NEW lawyer - Lawyer #4! This lawyer is from a firm that does local ads like "Got a DUI? Charged with a crime? We can help!" I don't know why they're taking on a probate situation but it looks like they are. And, really, it's the same stupid claims she made with Lawyer #3 and my brother's lawyer has already gone over with him exactly what he's supposed to be doing as the trustee so he knows he doesn't have to do any of the stuff she's saying. It's just... this is getting very hard on my brother. He's just so tired of it all. What I want to know is I guess not so much about what legal steps he should be taking, because his lawyer has that covered, but maybe some advice from you guys since you've been dealing with all types of people in court. Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? Is there anything we can do to get her to stop? My brother's lawyer said he's seen people act like this for years - but he didn't have any advice on anything we could do to get her to back off since she isn't breaking any laws. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions anyone has. | d1i92fw | d1hzyzc | 1,459,287,641 | 1,459,276,156 | 15 | 2 | I concur with everyone else in commending you for seeing the error of your ways. I'm glad you have been able to patch things up with your brother. Your specific question: >Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? This is almost impossible to answer, but I am in the same line of work as your brother's attorney so I see this exact situation over and over again. I have developed a few theories to "explain" you sister's actions. (Note: I'm obviously not justifying her terrible behavior, just attempting to understand it.): 1. **Greed.** Plain and simple. Your grandparents have money and she wants it. Either now by stealing it if she had access or later by not providing enough for their care and then inheriting it (all of it because she would have the will/trust changed). 1. **Control.** This is a little more subtle, but sometimes people just want to have power and be in control. She is resentful of your brother for being in control and handling the situation. She wants to be in charge so she can "do better." 1. **Guilt.** This one is a bit out of the box and nuanced but stay with me. Armchair psychology time. Again your sister is resentful of your brother. Why? Because your brother is doing a great job that she herself wouldn't or couldn't do. She will not admit this to herself on a conscious level, but she understand subconsciously that she would do a terrible job or be overwhelmed. The trick is she consciously believes that she is capable and competent (everyone is the hero of their own story). The creates feelings of guilt and anger about herself. This inner conflict manifests it's guilt and anger outward instead of inward as a self defense mechanism. So the focus of her anger is on your brother instead of herself where it should be. All of those explain why she won't let it go. And she won't, this will continue after your grandparents are going and I'm sorry to say your sister will never be close to you or your family again. | There's nothing uglier than family squabbles over someone else's money. Sorry you're going through this. | 1 | 11,485 | 7.5 |
4cdqn0 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: OH: I think I've gotten caught up in a situation involving lying to/in court and I don't know what to do Original post is here First, I'd like to thank everyone here (and /r/bestoflegaladvice) for your input, suggestions, and the harsh words that it turns out I needed last fall. A few people commented that I sounded young and that's pretty true. My brother & sister are much older than me and my parents had me later in life. Mom used to say I was her favorite surprise. :) So, yeah, I'm just getting started in college and don't have much real world experience which isn't an excuse for how I acted, but it is what it is and I'm trying to be better. I took a humanities class that covers aging this semester because of this whole situation with my grandparents and I learned so, so much. I really enjoyed it too. I'm thinking about changing my major so I can go into a field that helps protect the elderly like maybe social work. So, I told "our" lawyer back in November that I wanted nothing to do with the court case anymore and gave him a general outline of why I'd come to believe that my sister wasn't being totally honest. He filed stuff to show I was withdrawing my name from the case and then he "fired" my sister as a client. She dismissed (?? I think this is the right term) her case since she no longer had a lawyer and after some soul searching and a couple visits with a counselor at school I told her not to contact me again & blocked her. My brother was willing to forgive me for some reason. I'm grateful for it, but I was a real jackass until I posted here about my grandparents' situation. He keeps me in the loop which is how I know how the last almost 5 months have played out. My brother's attorney for the trust started getting emails from my sister's NEW lawyer (this would be the 3rd one she's used about her complaints over my grandparents' estate) later in the fall. She was claiming to Lawyer #3 that my brother was hiding bank accounts/money, that he was letting the trust's real estate properties go to junk and not taking care of them, that he didn't have insurance on the properties, he was letting people live there for free, and a bunch of other stuff that I could see was completely not true. She also started telling my grandparents these lies which upset them and and, being confused, they believed her for a bit and were just awful to my brother and me. Lawyer #3 was sending demanding emails to my brother's lawyer for him to show proof that the houses are in good shape, insured, not being misused, on and on and on. After a couple months of this, my brother's lawyer got an email directly from my sister where she listed demands such as my brother must let her take inventory of all my grandparents' possessions and take some keepsakes for herself, that any renters had to be evicted immediately, that he had to put all the real estate up for sale within 30 days, and other things that my brother's lawyer explained that he absolutely did not have to do - and if these things didn't happen within 30 days she would be forced to pursue further legal action. And she cc:ed her lawyer on this email. Well, my brother's lawyer got a call that same day from Lawyer #3 saying he had nothing to do with that email and wasn't consulted. That was the last we heard anything from Lawyer #3 and all was quiet for a few months. And that brings me to the current situation. My brother's lawyer recently forwarded him copies of emails with, drumroll please, my sister's NEW lawyer - Lawyer #4! This lawyer is from a firm that does local ads like "Got a DUI? Charged with a crime? We can help!" I don't know why they're taking on a probate situation but it looks like they are. And, really, it's the same stupid claims she made with Lawyer #3 and my brother's lawyer has already gone over with him exactly what he's supposed to be doing as the trustee so he knows he doesn't have to do any of the stuff she's saying. It's just... this is getting very hard on my brother. He's just so tired of it all. What I want to know is I guess not so much about what legal steps he should be taking, because his lawyer has that covered, but maybe some advice from you guys since you've been dealing with all types of people in court. Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? Is there anything we can do to get her to stop? My brother's lawyer said he's seen people act like this for years - but he didn't have any advice on anything we could do to get her to back off since she isn't breaking any laws. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions anyone has. | d1hsmqs | d1hkvbk | 1,459,266,963 | 1,459,255,087 | 10 | 6 | I am not a lawyer and have no legal advice for you. I am however in a similar enough situation to offer this: support your brother and grandparents in every way you can. It sounds like you are doing that anyway, for instance by seeking legal-ish help here and by standing by him. Continuing to be steadfast in your support and assistance (running errands? mowing his lawn?) will help him retain his sanity. Good luck. And congratulations for having such an upstanding, honorable brother. | Civil action to declare person vexatious litigator.: http://codes.ohio.gov/orc/2323.52 This is just from googling, I don't know anything about the underlying law. From reading the statute, it's not obvious that it applies necessarily, but it's not obvious that it doesn't. | 1 | 11,876 | 1.666667 |
4cdqn0 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: OH: I think I've gotten caught up in a situation involving lying to/in court and I don't know what to do Original post is here First, I'd like to thank everyone here (and /r/bestoflegaladvice) for your input, suggestions, and the harsh words that it turns out I needed last fall. A few people commented that I sounded young and that's pretty true. My brother & sister are much older than me and my parents had me later in life. Mom used to say I was her favorite surprise. :) So, yeah, I'm just getting started in college and don't have much real world experience which isn't an excuse for how I acted, but it is what it is and I'm trying to be better. I took a humanities class that covers aging this semester because of this whole situation with my grandparents and I learned so, so much. I really enjoyed it too. I'm thinking about changing my major so I can go into a field that helps protect the elderly like maybe social work. So, I told "our" lawyer back in November that I wanted nothing to do with the court case anymore and gave him a general outline of why I'd come to believe that my sister wasn't being totally honest. He filed stuff to show I was withdrawing my name from the case and then he "fired" my sister as a client. She dismissed (?? I think this is the right term) her case since she no longer had a lawyer and after some soul searching and a couple visits with a counselor at school I told her not to contact me again & blocked her. My brother was willing to forgive me for some reason. I'm grateful for it, but I was a real jackass until I posted here about my grandparents' situation. He keeps me in the loop which is how I know how the last almost 5 months have played out. My brother's attorney for the trust started getting emails from my sister's NEW lawyer (this would be the 3rd one she's used about her complaints over my grandparents' estate) later in the fall. She was claiming to Lawyer #3 that my brother was hiding bank accounts/money, that he was letting the trust's real estate properties go to junk and not taking care of them, that he didn't have insurance on the properties, he was letting people live there for free, and a bunch of other stuff that I could see was completely not true. She also started telling my grandparents these lies which upset them and and, being confused, they believed her for a bit and were just awful to my brother and me. Lawyer #3 was sending demanding emails to my brother's lawyer for him to show proof that the houses are in good shape, insured, not being misused, on and on and on. After a couple months of this, my brother's lawyer got an email directly from my sister where she listed demands such as my brother must let her take inventory of all my grandparents' possessions and take some keepsakes for herself, that any renters had to be evicted immediately, that he had to put all the real estate up for sale within 30 days, and other things that my brother's lawyer explained that he absolutely did not have to do - and if these things didn't happen within 30 days she would be forced to pursue further legal action. And she cc:ed her lawyer on this email. Well, my brother's lawyer got a call that same day from Lawyer #3 saying he had nothing to do with that email and wasn't consulted. That was the last we heard anything from Lawyer #3 and all was quiet for a few months. And that brings me to the current situation. My brother's lawyer recently forwarded him copies of emails with, drumroll please, my sister's NEW lawyer - Lawyer #4! This lawyer is from a firm that does local ads like "Got a DUI? Charged with a crime? We can help!" I don't know why they're taking on a probate situation but it looks like they are. And, really, it's the same stupid claims she made with Lawyer #3 and my brother's lawyer has already gone over with him exactly what he's supposed to be doing as the trustee so he knows he doesn't have to do any of the stuff she's saying. It's just... this is getting very hard on my brother. He's just so tired of it all. What I want to know is I guess not so much about what legal steps he should be taking, because his lawyer has that covered, but maybe some advice from you guys since you've been dealing with all types of people in court. Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? Is there anything we can do to get her to stop? My brother's lawyer said he's seen people act like this for years - but he didn't have any advice on anything we could do to get her to back off since she isn't breaking any laws. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions anyone has. | d1hvbrw | d1hkvbk | 1,459,270,382 | 1,459,255,087 | 7 | 6 | Why not just let your sister know how much she is costing the trust in terms of lawyer's fees and let her know it will be deducted from her share whenever your grandparents die? This way, there is no cost to sue her now, and the onus will be on her to sue later one and spend more money herself. Of course, I am not a lawyer and don't know if the trust can decide to deduct the costs of these frivolous claims from her part. | Civil action to declare person vexatious litigator.: http://codes.ohio.gov/orc/2323.52 This is just from googling, I don't know anything about the underlying law. From reading the statute, it's not obvious that it applies necessarily, but it's not obvious that it doesn't. | 1 | 15,295 | 1.166667 |
4cdqn0 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: OH: I think I've gotten caught up in a situation involving lying to/in court and I don't know what to do Original post is here First, I'd like to thank everyone here (and /r/bestoflegaladvice) for your input, suggestions, and the harsh words that it turns out I needed last fall. A few people commented that I sounded young and that's pretty true. My brother & sister are much older than me and my parents had me later in life. Mom used to say I was her favorite surprise. :) So, yeah, I'm just getting started in college and don't have much real world experience which isn't an excuse for how I acted, but it is what it is and I'm trying to be better. I took a humanities class that covers aging this semester because of this whole situation with my grandparents and I learned so, so much. I really enjoyed it too. I'm thinking about changing my major so I can go into a field that helps protect the elderly like maybe social work. So, I told "our" lawyer back in November that I wanted nothing to do with the court case anymore and gave him a general outline of why I'd come to believe that my sister wasn't being totally honest. He filed stuff to show I was withdrawing my name from the case and then he "fired" my sister as a client. She dismissed (?? I think this is the right term) her case since she no longer had a lawyer and after some soul searching and a couple visits with a counselor at school I told her not to contact me again & blocked her. My brother was willing to forgive me for some reason. I'm grateful for it, but I was a real jackass until I posted here about my grandparents' situation. He keeps me in the loop which is how I know how the last almost 5 months have played out. My brother's attorney for the trust started getting emails from my sister's NEW lawyer (this would be the 3rd one she's used about her complaints over my grandparents' estate) later in the fall. She was claiming to Lawyer #3 that my brother was hiding bank accounts/money, that he was letting the trust's real estate properties go to junk and not taking care of them, that he didn't have insurance on the properties, he was letting people live there for free, and a bunch of other stuff that I could see was completely not true. She also started telling my grandparents these lies which upset them and and, being confused, they believed her for a bit and were just awful to my brother and me. Lawyer #3 was sending demanding emails to my brother's lawyer for him to show proof that the houses are in good shape, insured, not being misused, on and on and on. After a couple months of this, my brother's lawyer got an email directly from my sister where she listed demands such as my brother must let her take inventory of all my grandparents' possessions and take some keepsakes for herself, that any renters had to be evicted immediately, that he had to put all the real estate up for sale within 30 days, and other things that my brother's lawyer explained that he absolutely did not have to do - and if these things didn't happen within 30 days she would be forced to pursue further legal action. And she cc:ed her lawyer on this email. Well, my brother's lawyer got a call that same day from Lawyer #3 saying he had nothing to do with that email and wasn't consulted. That was the last we heard anything from Lawyer #3 and all was quiet for a few months. And that brings me to the current situation. My brother's lawyer recently forwarded him copies of emails with, drumroll please, my sister's NEW lawyer - Lawyer #4! This lawyer is from a firm that does local ads like "Got a DUI? Charged with a crime? We can help!" I don't know why they're taking on a probate situation but it looks like they are. And, really, it's the same stupid claims she made with Lawyer #3 and my brother's lawyer has already gone over with him exactly what he's supposed to be doing as the trustee so he knows he doesn't have to do any of the stuff she's saying. It's just... this is getting very hard on my brother. He's just so tired of it all. What I want to know is I guess not so much about what legal steps he should be taking, because his lawyer has that covered, but maybe some advice from you guys since you've been dealing with all types of people in court. Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? Is there anything we can do to get her to stop? My brother's lawyer said he's seen people act like this for years - but he didn't have any advice on anything we could do to get her to back off since she isn't breaking any laws. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions anyone has. | d1hzyzc | d1ircbl | 1,459,276,156 | 1,459,317,046 | 2 | 3 | There's nothing uglier than family squabbles over someone else's money. Sorry you're going through this. | First off, congrats for seeing your own faults and your sister's before, and even bigger congrats on not just seeing your own faults, but actively working to better yourself as a person. It takes a lot to admit to yourself you've been wrong and to actively work at changing your perspectives, taking classes to get better insight, etc. I'm very happy for you. Honestly, you can help your brother by supporting him and your grandparents. He's probably physically and especially emotionally exhausted. Let him know you've got his back. Do what you can for him. As far as your grandparents go, cherish them while they're here. Visit if you can. If they're still retaining knowledge well (they must be to retain what lies your sister has told them) consider on a visit with them talking about what your brother is doing- and your sister. Take them pictures of the properties, talk about how he's renting them out to good, well paying people, increasing their value, and looking after your grandparent's assets (things they once cared for and valued.) Let them know your sister had tried to steal the evidence of her debt to them, has demanded she get to inventory their items and start taking things from them now (while they're alive!) under the guise of "keepsakes," that she's liked to several lawyers to make trouble for your brother, all of which have dropped her as a client when they see proof that she has lied. Don't do this in a vengeful way, but in a "I care about you and our relationship with each other and am really worried about our relationship and don't want to see it ruined over this." Maybe give your sister a line that you guys know about her debt and have proof of it (and that she didn't pay it like she once claimed)- it may help with her chasing this all to put it out in the open that you know what one of her motives are. Let her know you don't want contact with her, her frivolous attempts to change the will are just taking away from what will be left of her inheritance, and even despite all this (while you want no contact with her) that you guys do intend to give her *her fair share,* whatever that may be. Lastly, armchair psychology time (i am not a psychologist, or laywer, but so not a psychologist) Your sister likely is doing this for a lot of reasons. She likely is unhappy in her life and trying to fill that void with *things.* New cars, big house, big flashy things that she feels should make her happy. Obviously they aren't doing the job or she wouldn't still be chasing more money and things, but she likely doesn't necessarily realize this or want to admit that she isn't happy. She very likely, along with being unhappy in her own life, feels out of control and powerless. Your brother has been being an excellent person to your grandparents- constantly there for them even when they didn't 100% need it, taking care of them, taking care of their trust, and raising a family. She likely sees him as very in control and is jealous of the amount of control he has AND how well he's doing at it (ie. subconsciously knows if she were in control she wouldn't do as well) but wants to be in control and prove she could do well (and differently, and better), hence the old idea of "I want to be power of attorney! We should let them live at home, get them a maid! They'll be happier." She wants to see herself as possibly doing right by them, and as being in control, and probably even as a good person (we all want to see ourselves as good people, or as u/JackEsq said, the hero of our own story.) Lastly, sounds like a lot of greed is going on there. And likely, it's not just one of these things, they're probably a whole knotted mess with each other. "I feel bad about myself, bad I wasn't there, I could be there now! I could even do better, and make them happier, and save money, and they (grandparents) will see how good I am and appreciate it, and they (my siblings) would all see that I'm the best and respect me! Plus, I could get all the money and forgive me debt, which would be awesome. Look at how good I am, looking out for my future. (I still subconsciously am unhappy and trying to compensate though, even if I did all this I'd be unhappy.) I would have more money though. I could buy more things. I'd be happy(er) then, if I could buy another car/house/whatever." Because she's unhappy she feels greedy/ like money will make her happy. Because she feels unhappy/ inferior she wants to be in control. Because she's not in control she feels more unhappy. She doesn't want to admit she's unhappy or not in control for a reason. She thinks she could do the best job, subconsciously knowing she couldn't, but trying to form plans to. That makes her more unhappy. She sees your brother as being happy, and having the things (and not just caring for them till the split up) and is jealous and thinks he must be happy because he has the things and is in control. Her unhappiness manifests in ways that result in more greed, and thinking she can take happiness from him (if I can't be happy no one can, plus this will make me happy) and is just spreading her internal pain around. Your sister needs a damn good therapist. You will likely never convince your sister of this. She is a toxic person, with no desire to change. I'd just cut her out and move on. She will not change till she realizes on her own how bad she's hurting herself and others, *feels bad about that*, **and then decides to change.** | 0 | 40,890 | 1.5 |
4cdqn0 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: OH: I think I've gotten caught up in a situation involving lying to/in court and I don't know what to do Original post is here First, I'd like to thank everyone here (and /r/bestoflegaladvice) for your input, suggestions, and the harsh words that it turns out I needed last fall. A few people commented that I sounded young and that's pretty true. My brother & sister are much older than me and my parents had me later in life. Mom used to say I was her favorite surprise. :) So, yeah, I'm just getting started in college and don't have much real world experience which isn't an excuse for how I acted, but it is what it is and I'm trying to be better. I took a humanities class that covers aging this semester because of this whole situation with my grandparents and I learned so, so much. I really enjoyed it too. I'm thinking about changing my major so I can go into a field that helps protect the elderly like maybe social work. So, I told "our" lawyer back in November that I wanted nothing to do with the court case anymore and gave him a general outline of why I'd come to believe that my sister wasn't being totally honest. He filed stuff to show I was withdrawing my name from the case and then he "fired" my sister as a client. She dismissed (?? I think this is the right term) her case since she no longer had a lawyer and after some soul searching and a couple visits with a counselor at school I told her not to contact me again & blocked her. My brother was willing to forgive me for some reason. I'm grateful for it, but I was a real jackass until I posted here about my grandparents' situation. He keeps me in the loop which is how I know how the last almost 5 months have played out. My brother's attorney for the trust started getting emails from my sister's NEW lawyer (this would be the 3rd one she's used about her complaints over my grandparents' estate) later in the fall. She was claiming to Lawyer #3 that my brother was hiding bank accounts/money, that he was letting the trust's real estate properties go to junk and not taking care of them, that he didn't have insurance on the properties, he was letting people live there for free, and a bunch of other stuff that I could see was completely not true. She also started telling my grandparents these lies which upset them and and, being confused, they believed her for a bit and were just awful to my brother and me. Lawyer #3 was sending demanding emails to my brother's lawyer for him to show proof that the houses are in good shape, insured, not being misused, on and on and on. After a couple months of this, my brother's lawyer got an email directly from my sister where she listed demands such as my brother must let her take inventory of all my grandparents' possessions and take some keepsakes for herself, that any renters had to be evicted immediately, that he had to put all the real estate up for sale within 30 days, and other things that my brother's lawyer explained that he absolutely did not have to do - and if these things didn't happen within 30 days she would be forced to pursue further legal action. And she cc:ed her lawyer on this email. Well, my brother's lawyer got a call that same day from Lawyer #3 saying he had nothing to do with that email and wasn't consulted. That was the last we heard anything from Lawyer #3 and all was quiet for a few months. And that brings me to the current situation. My brother's lawyer recently forwarded him copies of emails with, drumroll please, my sister's NEW lawyer - Lawyer #4! This lawyer is from a firm that does local ads like "Got a DUI? Charged with a crime? We can help!" I don't know why they're taking on a probate situation but it looks like they are. And, really, it's the same stupid claims she made with Lawyer #3 and my brother's lawyer has already gone over with him exactly what he's supposed to be doing as the trustee so he knows he doesn't have to do any of the stuff she's saying. It's just... this is getting very hard on my brother. He's just so tired of it all. What I want to know is I guess not so much about what legal steps he should be taking, because his lawyer has that covered, but maybe some advice from you guys since you've been dealing with all types of people in court. Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? Is there anything we can do to get her to stop? My brother's lawyer said he's seen people act like this for years - but he didn't have any advice on anything we could do to get her to back off since she isn't breaking any laws. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions anyone has. | d1ircbl | d1ibal4 | 1,459,317,046 | 1,459,290,798 | 3 | 2 | First off, congrats for seeing your own faults and your sister's before, and even bigger congrats on not just seeing your own faults, but actively working to better yourself as a person. It takes a lot to admit to yourself you've been wrong and to actively work at changing your perspectives, taking classes to get better insight, etc. I'm very happy for you. Honestly, you can help your brother by supporting him and your grandparents. He's probably physically and especially emotionally exhausted. Let him know you've got his back. Do what you can for him. As far as your grandparents go, cherish them while they're here. Visit if you can. If they're still retaining knowledge well (they must be to retain what lies your sister has told them) consider on a visit with them talking about what your brother is doing- and your sister. Take them pictures of the properties, talk about how he's renting them out to good, well paying people, increasing their value, and looking after your grandparent's assets (things they once cared for and valued.) Let them know your sister had tried to steal the evidence of her debt to them, has demanded she get to inventory their items and start taking things from them now (while they're alive!) under the guise of "keepsakes," that she's liked to several lawyers to make trouble for your brother, all of which have dropped her as a client when they see proof that she has lied. Don't do this in a vengeful way, but in a "I care about you and our relationship with each other and am really worried about our relationship and don't want to see it ruined over this." Maybe give your sister a line that you guys know about her debt and have proof of it (and that she didn't pay it like she once claimed)- it may help with her chasing this all to put it out in the open that you know what one of her motives are. Let her know you don't want contact with her, her frivolous attempts to change the will are just taking away from what will be left of her inheritance, and even despite all this (while you want no contact with her) that you guys do intend to give her *her fair share,* whatever that may be. Lastly, armchair psychology time (i am not a psychologist, or laywer, but so not a psychologist) Your sister likely is doing this for a lot of reasons. She likely is unhappy in her life and trying to fill that void with *things.* New cars, big house, big flashy things that she feels should make her happy. Obviously they aren't doing the job or she wouldn't still be chasing more money and things, but she likely doesn't necessarily realize this or want to admit that she isn't happy. She very likely, along with being unhappy in her own life, feels out of control and powerless. Your brother has been being an excellent person to your grandparents- constantly there for them even when they didn't 100% need it, taking care of them, taking care of their trust, and raising a family. She likely sees him as very in control and is jealous of the amount of control he has AND how well he's doing at it (ie. subconsciously knows if she were in control she wouldn't do as well) but wants to be in control and prove she could do well (and differently, and better), hence the old idea of "I want to be power of attorney! We should let them live at home, get them a maid! They'll be happier." She wants to see herself as possibly doing right by them, and as being in control, and probably even as a good person (we all want to see ourselves as good people, or as u/JackEsq said, the hero of our own story.) Lastly, sounds like a lot of greed is going on there. And likely, it's not just one of these things, they're probably a whole knotted mess with each other. "I feel bad about myself, bad I wasn't there, I could be there now! I could even do better, and make them happier, and save money, and they (grandparents) will see how good I am and appreciate it, and they (my siblings) would all see that I'm the best and respect me! Plus, I could get all the money and forgive me debt, which would be awesome. Look at how good I am, looking out for my future. (I still subconsciously am unhappy and trying to compensate though, even if I did all this I'd be unhappy.) I would have more money though. I could buy more things. I'd be happy(er) then, if I could buy another car/house/whatever." Because she's unhappy she feels greedy/ like money will make her happy. Because she feels unhappy/ inferior she wants to be in control. Because she's not in control she feels more unhappy. She doesn't want to admit she's unhappy or not in control for a reason. She thinks she could do the best job, subconsciously knowing she couldn't, but trying to form plans to. That makes her more unhappy. She sees your brother as being happy, and having the things (and not just caring for them till the split up) and is jealous and thinks he must be happy because he has the things and is in control. Her unhappiness manifests in ways that result in more greed, and thinking she can take happiness from him (if I can't be happy no one can, plus this will make me happy) and is just spreading her internal pain around. Your sister needs a damn good therapist. You will likely never convince your sister of this. She is a toxic person, with no desire to change. I'd just cut her out and move on. She will not change till she realizes on her own how bad she's hurting herself and others, *feels bad about that*, **and then decides to change.** | I'm a bot, *bleep*, *bloop*. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit: - /r/bestoflegaladvice] [Update to OP who did some research and switched sides in a family inheritance war [](#footer)*^(If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads.) ^\([Info](/r/TotesMessenger) ^/ ^[Contact](/message/compose?to=/r/TotesMessenger))* [](#bot) | 1 | 26,248 | 1.5 |
4cdqn0 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: OH: I think I've gotten caught up in a situation involving lying to/in court and I don't know what to do Original post is here First, I'd like to thank everyone here (and /r/bestoflegaladvice) for your input, suggestions, and the harsh words that it turns out I needed last fall. A few people commented that I sounded young and that's pretty true. My brother & sister are much older than me and my parents had me later in life. Mom used to say I was her favorite surprise. :) So, yeah, I'm just getting started in college and don't have much real world experience which isn't an excuse for how I acted, but it is what it is and I'm trying to be better. I took a humanities class that covers aging this semester because of this whole situation with my grandparents and I learned so, so much. I really enjoyed it too. I'm thinking about changing my major so I can go into a field that helps protect the elderly like maybe social work. So, I told "our" lawyer back in November that I wanted nothing to do with the court case anymore and gave him a general outline of why I'd come to believe that my sister wasn't being totally honest. He filed stuff to show I was withdrawing my name from the case and then he "fired" my sister as a client. She dismissed (?? I think this is the right term) her case since she no longer had a lawyer and after some soul searching and a couple visits with a counselor at school I told her not to contact me again & blocked her. My brother was willing to forgive me for some reason. I'm grateful for it, but I was a real jackass until I posted here about my grandparents' situation. He keeps me in the loop which is how I know how the last almost 5 months have played out. My brother's attorney for the trust started getting emails from my sister's NEW lawyer (this would be the 3rd one she's used about her complaints over my grandparents' estate) later in the fall. She was claiming to Lawyer #3 that my brother was hiding bank accounts/money, that he was letting the trust's real estate properties go to junk and not taking care of them, that he didn't have insurance on the properties, he was letting people live there for free, and a bunch of other stuff that I could see was completely not true. She also started telling my grandparents these lies which upset them and and, being confused, they believed her for a bit and were just awful to my brother and me. Lawyer #3 was sending demanding emails to my brother's lawyer for him to show proof that the houses are in good shape, insured, not being misused, on and on and on. After a couple months of this, my brother's lawyer got an email directly from my sister where she listed demands such as my brother must let her take inventory of all my grandparents' possessions and take some keepsakes for herself, that any renters had to be evicted immediately, that he had to put all the real estate up for sale within 30 days, and other things that my brother's lawyer explained that he absolutely did not have to do - and if these things didn't happen within 30 days she would be forced to pursue further legal action. And she cc:ed her lawyer on this email. Well, my brother's lawyer got a call that same day from Lawyer #3 saying he had nothing to do with that email and wasn't consulted. That was the last we heard anything from Lawyer #3 and all was quiet for a few months. And that brings me to the current situation. My brother's lawyer recently forwarded him copies of emails with, drumroll please, my sister's NEW lawyer - Lawyer #4! This lawyer is from a firm that does local ads like "Got a DUI? Charged with a crime? We can help!" I don't know why they're taking on a probate situation but it looks like they are. And, really, it's the same stupid claims she made with Lawyer #3 and my brother's lawyer has already gone over with him exactly what he's supposed to be doing as the trustee so he knows he doesn't have to do any of the stuff she's saying. It's just... this is getting very hard on my brother. He's just so tired of it all. What I want to know is I guess not so much about what legal steps he should be taking, because his lawyer has that covered, but maybe some advice from you guys since you've been dealing with all types of people in court. Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? Is there anything we can do to get her to stop? My brother's lawyer said he's seen people act like this for years - but he didn't have any advice on anything we could do to get her to back off since she isn't breaking any laws. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions anyone has. | d1iucw8 | d1hzyzc | 1,459,326,893 | 1,459,276,156 | 3 | 2 | If the sister still owes half a million, is there any way the trust can start demanding/forcing her to pay that back? ( to the point of garnishing wages??) If she has to pay back the loan it will hugely benefit the trust ( half a million more to invest!), and if she has no money left she can't hire lawyers anymore either. Win win. | There's nothing uglier than family squabbles over someone else's money. Sorry you're going through this. | 1 | 50,737 | 1.5 |
4cdqn0 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: OH: I think I've gotten caught up in a situation involving lying to/in court and I don't know what to do Original post is here First, I'd like to thank everyone here (and /r/bestoflegaladvice) for your input, suggestions, and the harsh words that it turns out I needed last fall. A few people commented that I sounded young and that's pretty true. My brother & sister are much older than me and my parents had me later in life. Mom used to say I was her favorite surprise. :) So, yeah, I'm just getting started in college and don't have much real world experience which isn't an excuse for how I acted, but it is what it is and I'm trying to be better. I took a humanities class that covers aging this semester because of this whole situation with my grandparents and I learned so, so much. I really enjoyed it too. I'm thinking about changing my major so I can go into a field that helps protect the elderly like maybe social work. So, I told "our" lawyer back in November that I wanted nothing to do with the court case anymore and gave him a general outline of why I'd come to believe that my sister wasn't being totally honest. He filed stuff to show I was withdrawing my name from the case and then he "fired" my sister as a client. She dismissed (?? I think this is the right term) her case since she no longer had a lawyer and after some soul searching and a couple visits with a counselor at school I told her not to contact me again & blocked her. My brother was willing to forgive me for some reason. I'm grateful for it, but I was a real jackass until I posted here about my grandparents' situation. He keeps me in the loop which is how I know how the last almost 5 months have played out. My brother's attorney for the trust started getting emails from my sister's NEW lawyer (this would be the 3rd one she's used about her complaints over my grandparents' estate) later in the fall. She was claiming to Lawyer #3 that my brother was hiding bank accounts/money, that he was letting the trust's real estate properties go to junk and not taking care of them, that he didn't have insurance on the properties, he was letting people live there for free, and a bunch of other stuff that I could see was completely not true. She also started telling my grandparents these lies which upset them and and, being confused, they believed her for a bit and were just awful to my brother and me. Lawyer #3 was sending demanding emails to my brother's lawyer for him to show proof that the houses are in good shape, insured, not being misused, on and on and on. After a couple months of this, my brother's lawyer got an email directly from my sister where she listed demands such as my brother must let her take inventory of all my grandparents' possessions and take some keepsakes for herself, that any renters had to be evicted immediately, that he had to put all the real estate up for sale within 30 days, and other things that my brother's lawyer explained that he absolutely did not have to do - and if these things didn't happen within 30 days she would be forced to pursue further legal action. And she cc:ed her lawyer on this email. Well, my brother's lawyer got a call that same day from Lawyer #3 saying he had nothing to do with that email and wasn't consulted. That was the last we heard anything from Lawyer #3 and all was quiet for a few months. And that brings me to the current situation. My brother's lawyer recently forwarded him copies of emails with, drumroll please, my sister's NEW lawyer - Lawyer #4! This lawyer is from a firm that does local ads like "Got a DUI? Charged with a crime? We can help!" I don't know why they're taking on a probate situation but it looks like they are. And, really, it's the same stupid claims she made with Lawyer #3 and my brother's lawyer has already gone over with him exactly what he's supposed to be doing as the trustee so he knows he doesn't have to do any of the stuff she's saying. It's just... this is getting very hard on my brother. He's just so tired of it all. What I want to know is I guess not so much about what legal steps he should be taking, because his lawyer has that covered, but maybe some advice from you guys since you've been dealing with all types of people in court. Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? Is there anything we can do to get her to stop? My brother's lawyer said he's seen people act like this for years - but he didn't have any advice on anything we could do to get her to back off since she isn't breaking any laws. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions anyone has. | d1ibal4 | d1iucw8 | 1,459,290,798 | 1,459,326,893 | 2 | 3 | I'm a bot, *bleep*, *bloop*. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit: - /r/bestoflegaladvice] [Update to OP who did some research and switched sides in a family inheritance war [](#footer)*^(If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads.) ^\([Info](/r/TotesMessenger) ^/ ^[Contact](/message/compose?to=/r/TotesMessenger))* [](#bot) | If the sister still owes half a million, is there any way the trust can start demanding/forcing her to pay that back? ( to the point of garnishing wages??) If she has to pay back the loan it will hugely benefit the trust ( half a million more to invest!), and if she has no money left she can't hire lawyers anymore either. Win win. | 0 | 36,095 | 1.5 |
4cdqn0 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: OH: I think I've gotten caught up in a situation involving lying to/in court and I don't know what to do Original post is here First, I'd like to thank everyone here (and /r/bestoflegaladvice) for your input, suggestions, and the harsh words that it turns out I needed last fall. A few people commented that I sounded young and that's pretty true. My brother & sister are much older than me and my parents had me later in life. Mom used to say I was her favorite surprise. :) So, yeah, I'm just getting started in college and don't have much real world experience which isn't an excuse for how I acted, but it is what it is and I'm trying to be better. I took a humanities class that covers aging this semester because of this whole situation with my grandparents and I learned so, so much. I really enjoyed it too. I'm thinking about changing my major so I can go into a field that helps protect the elderly like maybe social work. So, I told "our" lawyer back in November that I wanted nothing to do with the court case anymore and gave him a general outline of why I'd come to believe that my sister wasn't being totally honest. He filed stuff to show I was withdrawing my name from the case and then he "fired" my sister as a client. She dismissed (?? I think this is the right term) her case since she no longer had a lawyer and after some soul searching and a couple visits with a counselor at school I told her not to contact me again & blocked her. My brother was willing to forgive me for some reason. I'm grateful for it, but I was a real jackass until I posted here about my grandparents' situation. He keeps me in the loop which is how I know how the last almost 5 months have played out. My brother's attorney for the trust started getting emails from my sister's NEW lawyer (this would be the 3rd one she's used about her complaints over my grandparents' estate) later in the fall. She was claiming to Lawyer #3 that my brother was hiding bank accounts/money, that he was letting the trust's real estate properties go to junk and not taking care of them, that he didn't have insurance on the properties, he was letting people live there for free, and a bunch of other stuff that I could see was completely not true. She also started telling my grandparents these lies which upset them and and, being confused, they believed her for a bit and were just awful to my brother and me. Lawyer #3 was sending demanding emails to my brother's lawyer for him to show proof that the houses are in good shape, insured, not being misused, on and on and on. After a couple months of this, my brother's lawyer got an email directly from my sister where she listed demands such as my brother must let her take inventory of all my grandparents' possessions and take some keepsakes for herself, that any renters had to be evicted immediately, that he had to put all the real estate up for sale within 30 days, and other things that my brother's lawyer explained that he absolutely did not have to do - and if these things didn't happen within 30 days she would be forced to pursue further legal action. And she cc:ed her lawyer on this email. Well, my brother's lawyer got a call that same day from Lawyer #3 saying he had nothing to do with that email and wasn't consulted. That was the last we heard anything from Lawyer #3 and all was quiet for a few months. And that brings me to the current situation. My brother's lawyer recently forwarded him copies of emails with, drumroll please, my sister's NEW lawyer - Lawyer #4! This lawyer is from a firm that does local ads like "Got a DUI? Charged with a crime? We can help!" I don't know why they're taking on a probate situation but it looks like they are. And, really, it's the same stupid claims she made with Lawyer #3 and my brother's lawyer has already gone over with him exactly what he's supposed to be doing as the trustee so he knows he doesn't have to do any of the stuff she's saying. It's just... this is getting very hard on my brother. He's just so tired of it all. What I want to know is I guess not so much about what legal steps he should be taking, because his lawyer has that covered, but maybe some advice from you guys since you've been dealing with all types of people in court. Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? Is there anything we can do to get her to stop? My brother's lawyer said he's seen people act like this for years - but he didn't have any advice on anything we could do to get her to back off since she isn't breaking any laws. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions anyone has. | d1ivqhz | d1hzyzc | 1,459,332,393 | 1,459,276,156 | 3 | 2 | Would it be legal for OP & OP's bro to forward Lawyer #4 all the stuff from lawyers 1-3? I feel they could indefinitely keep her at arms length just by informing her lawyers what she's doing as soon as they make contact. If it's legal to do so? | There's nothing uglier than family squabbles over someone else's money. Sorry you're going through this. | 1 | 56,237 | 1.5 |
4cdqn0 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | UPDATE: OH: I think I've gotten caught up in a situation involving lying to/in court and I don't know what to do Original post is here First, I'd like to thank everyone here (and /r/bestoflegaladvice) for your input, suggestions, and the harsh words that it turns out I needed last fall. A few people commented that I sounded young and that's pretty true. My brother & sister are much older than me and my parents had me later in life. Mom used to say I was her favorite surprise. :) So, yeah, I'm just getting started in college and don't have much real world experience which isn't an excuse for how I acted, but it is what it is and I'm trying to be better. I took a humanities class that covers aging this semester because of this whole situation with my grandparents and I learned so, so much. I really enjoyed it too. I'm thinking about changing my major so I can go into a field that helps protect the elderly like maybe social work. So, I told "our" lawyer back in November that I wanted nothing to do with the court case anymore and gave him a general outline of why I'd come to believe that my sister wasn't being totally honest. He filed stuff to show I was withdrawing my name from the case and then he "fired" my sister as a client. She dismissed (?? I think this is the right term) her case since she no longer had a lawyer and after some soul searching and a couple visits with a counselor at school I told her not to contact me again & blocked her. My brother was willing to forgive me for some reason. I'm grateful for it, but I was a real jackass until I posted here about my grandparents' situation. He keeps me in the loop which is how I know how the last almost 5 months have played out. My brother's attorney for the trust started getting emails from my sister's NEW lawyer (this would be the 3rd one she's used about her complaints over my grandparents' estate) later in the fall. She was claiming to Lawyer #3 that my brother was hiding bank accounts/money, that he was letting the trust's real estate properties go to junk and not taking care of them, that he didn't have insurance on the properties, he was letting people live there for free, and a bunch of other stuff that I could see was completely not true. She also started telling my grandparents these lies which upset them and and, being confused, they believed her for a bit and were just awful to my brother and me. Lawyer #3 was sending demanding emails to my brother's lawyer for him to show proof that the houses are in good shape, insured, not being misused, on and on and on. After a couple months of this, my brother's lawyer got an email directly from my sister where she listed demands such as my brother must let her take inventory of all my grandparents' possessions and take some keepsakes for herself, that any renters had to be evicted immediately, that he had to put all the real estate up for sale within 30 days, and other things that my brother's lawyer explained that he absolutely did not have to do - and if these things didn't happen within 30 days she would be forced to pursue further legal action. And she cc:ed her lawyer on this email. Well, my brother's lawyer got a call that same day from Lawyer #3 saying he had nothing to do with that email and wasn't consulted. That was the last we heard anything from Lawyer #3 and all was quiet for a few months. And that brings me to the current situation. My brother's lawyer recently forwarded him copies of emails with, drumroll please, my sister's NEW lawyer - Lawyer #4! This lawyer is from a firm that does local ads like "Got a DUI? Charged with a crime? We can help!" I don't know why they're taking on a probate situation but it looks like they are. And, really, it's the same stupid claims she made with Lawyer #3 and my brother's lawyer has already gone over with him exactly what he's supposed to be doing as the trustee so he knows he doesn't have to do any of the stuff she's saying. It's just... this is getting very hard on my brother. He's just so tired of it all. What I want to know is I guess not so much about what legal steps he should be taking, because his lawyer has that covered, but maybe some advice from you guys since you've been dealing with all types of people in court. Why is she doing this? I mean, she apparently wants to be the trustee but my brother's lawyer said that probate court would never give it to her since my brother has shown that he's managing everything exactly right. So why does she continue? Is there anything we can do to get her to stop? My brother's lawyer said he's seen people act like this for years - but he didn't have any advice on anything we could do to get her to back off since she isn't breaking any laws. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions anyone has. | d1ibal4 | d1ivqhz | 1,459,290,798 | 1,459,332,393 | 2 | 3 | I'm a bot, *bleep*, *bloop*. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit: - /r/bestoflegaladvice] [Update to OP who did some research and switched sides in a family inheritance war [](#footer)*^(If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads.) ^\([Info](/r/TotesMessenger) ^/ ^[Contact](/message/compose?to=/r/TotesMessenger))* [](#bot) | Would it be legal for OP & OP's bro to forward Lawyer #4 all the stuff from lawyers 1-3? I feel they could indefinitely keep her at arms length just by informing her lawyers what she's doing as soon as they make contact. If it's legal to do so? | 0 | 41,595 | 1.5 |
7dtz69 | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | I didn't hire someone because of their weight. Now they are suing me for discrimination. (CA) I run a small coffee shop and needed someone to make drinks behind the bar (coffee bar, not alcohol if that's relevant). A woman submitted her resume and I called her in for an interview. While the interview went well, showing her the shop did not. She is a rather large woman (over 300 pounds easy) and took up most of the space behind the bar. The other two baristas could not go around her, the only way they could move about was for the larger woman to completely exit the bar, allow them to get what they needed, and then return to her spot behind the bar. This was also an issue vice versa, being the larger woman could not move around my baristas because of her weight and would need them to leave the bar so she can move to another area. This job requires a lot of running about the bar and this would not be feasible. I personally didn't feel this arrangement would work and I gently explained to her my concerns. I realize now this was a mistake and will be sure to just say "we'll call you back when we make our decision" moving forward. In the meantime, does her claim have any standing? Also, for relevance, this is an independently owned coffee shop by me, not a Starbucks. I just felt "barista" would be an easier term to use to explain what is done behind the bar. It's the same thing, they just make my shop's drinks instead of frappucinos. | dq0av5x | dq0akaz | 1,511,023,610 | 1,511,023,226 | 609 | 158 | First, have you actually been sued? If so, get an attorney immediately. Second, you made an error in telling her why you weren't hiring her. With any luck, you have fewer than 5 employees and aren't covered by California's disability laws. Although I don't know whether obesity may be covered under those laws. | I don't think weight would fall under any protected class so discrimination shouldn't be an issue. She may be trying to claim she has a disability, but your counter to that is that there is no reasonable accommodation that could be made for her disability. | 1 | 384 | 3.85443 |
7dtz69 | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | I didn't hire someone because of their weight. Now they are suing me for discrimination. (CA) I run a small coffee shop and needed someone to make drinks behind the bar (coffee bar, not alcohol if that's relevant). A woman submitted her resume and I called her in for an interview. While the interview went well, showing her the shop did not. She is a rather large woman (over 300 pounds easy) and took up most of the space behind the bar. The other two baristas could not go around her, the only way they could move about was for the larger woman to completely exit the bar, allow them to get what they needed, and then return to her spot behind the bar. This was also an issue vice versa, being the larger woman could not move around my baristas because of her weight and would need them to leave the bar so she can move to another area. This job requires a lot of running about the bar and this would not be feasible. I personally didn't feel this arrangement would work and I gently explained to her my concerns. I realize now this was a mistake and will be sure to just say "we'll call you back when we make our decision" moving forward. In the meantime, does her claim have any standing? Also, for relevance, this is an independently owned coffee shop by me, not a Starbucks. I just felt "barista" would be an easier term to use to explain what is done behind the bar. It's the same thing, they just make my shop's drinks instead of frappucinos. | dq0akaz | dq0ehkl | 1,511,023,226 | 1,511,028,040 | 158 | 477 | I don't think weight would fall under any protected class so discrimination shouldn't be an issue. She may be trying to claim she has a disability, but your counter to that is that there is no reasonable accommodation that could be made for her disability. | 1: If you have fewer than 5 employees she can't push a discrimination case period, as DFEH doesn't apply. 2: You are required to make a reasonable accommodation. One that puts your business at an undue hardship is not reasonable. Massive remodeling to move the bar or making the bar inaccessible for your other staff is not reasonable. | 0 | 4,814 | 3.018987 |
521gsu | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Question about something that's happening at my work: My coworker wrote a book and it's being published. The boss is suing her saying it's his because he owns whatever she creates (NY) Location New York. My coworker and me are both cashiers and we work in a store. She didn't write any of the book at work because you can't have your phone or tablet or anything else with you when you are at the register. But our boss says he owns anything that she or anyone else who works here makes. Is this true or does it not count because she didn't write it while she was at work? I just would like to know thanks. (Sorry if this is hard to understand, english is not my mother language) | d7glrdn | d7glu8y | 1,473,481,174 | 1,473,481,345 | 9 | 110 | Unless it was a commissioned work as part of her job, she owns the rights. | Generally speaking, there are only three ways in which the boss can claim the copyright (or any associated rights) to the book: 1. If your coworker explicitly agreed in writing to assign the copyright (and/or associated rights) to the boss/employer 2. Your boss/employer specially ordered or commissioned the work and your coworker explicitly agreed to treat the work as a "work made for hire" (or "work for hire") 3. The book was written by your coworker within the scope of her employment (i.e. it was something she was working on as part of her job) | 0 | 171 | 12.222222 |
521gsu | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Question about something that's happening at my work: My coworker wrote a book and it's being published. The boss is suing her saying it's his because he owns whatever she creates (NY) Location New York. My coworker and me are both cashiers and we work in a store. She didn't write any of the book at work because you can't have your phone or tablet or anything else with you when you are at the register. But our boss says he owns anything that she or anyone else who works here makes. Is this true or does it not count because she didn't write it while she was at work? I just would like to know thanks. (Sorry if this is hard to understand, english is not my mother language) | d7glu8y | d7glru6 | 1,473,481,345 | 1,473,481,201 | 110 | 8 | Generally speaking, there are only three ways in which the boss can claim the copyright (or any associated rights) to the book: 1. If your coworker explicitly agreed in writing to assign the copyright (and/or associated rights) to the boss/employer 2. Your boss/employer specially ordered or commissioned the work and your coworker explicitly agreed to treat the work as a "work made for hire" (or "work for hire") 3. The book was written by your coworker within the scope of her employment (i.e. it was something she was working on as part of her job) | Even if she wrote it at work he still wouldn't own it. I honestly can't believe people like this exist. | 1 | 144 | 13.75 |
521gsu | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Question about something that's happening at my work: My coworker wrote a book and it's being published. The boss is suing her saying it's his because he owns whatever she creates (NY) Location New York. My coworker and me are both cashiers and we work in a store. She didn't write any of the book at work because you can't have your phone or tablet or anything else with you when you are at the register. But our boss says he owns anything that she or anyone else who works here makes. Is this true or does it not count because she didn't write it while she was at work? I just would like to know thanks. (Sorry if this is hard to understand, english is not my mother language) | d7gmy14 | d7gn58s | 1,473,483,852 | 1,473,484,334 | 25 | 44 | I'll bet the employer has watched the HBO TV show "Silicon Valley"; a dispute over ownership of intellectual property created by an employee is a plot point. There is almost zero chance that as a cashier you were hired to create or invent. And since you aren't allowed to have writing materials or devices on the job, there's zero chance she used Company resources to create the book. Here's a nice readable article about how ownership of intellectual property from side jobs works in several jurisdictions: \[Link\] | A programmer who programs a thing would likely be vulnerable to such a claim from their employer, but your coworker isn't making money on the side by freelance cashiering. Writing has literally nothing to do with the job, so the argument that she was somehow hired to do so is a bit weak. Remember, employment doesn't mean that the boss owns her. Employment is the boss renting her time and effort. The boss doesn't control what she does in her spare time and has exactly zero claim on any of it. The programmer thing is usually the case because the employer includes it in the employment agreement. | 0 | 482 | 1.76 |
521gsu | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Question about something that's happening at my work: My coworker wrote a book and it's being published. The boss is suing her saying it's his because he owns whatever she creates (NY) Location New York. My coworker and me are both cashiers and we work in a store. She didn't write any of the book at work because you can't have your phone or tablet or anything else with you when you are at the register. But our boss says he owns anything that she or anyone else who works here makes. Is this true or does it not count because she didn't write it while she was at work? I just would like to know thanks. (Sorry if this is hard to understand, english is not my mother language) | d7gn58s | d7glrdn | 1,473,484,334 | 1,473,481,174 | 44 | 9 | A programmer who programs a thing would likely be vulnerable to such a claim from their employer, but your coworker isn't making money on the side by freelance cashiering. Writing has literally nothing to do with the job, so the argument that she was somehow hired to do so is a bit weak. Remember, employment doesn't mean that the boss owns her. Employment is the boss renting her time and effort. The boss doesn't control what she does in her spare time and has exactly zero claim on any of it. The programmer thing is usually the case because the employer includes it in the employment agreement. | Unless it was a commissioned work as part of her job, she owns the rights. | 1 | 3,160 | 4.888889 |
521gsu | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Question about something that's happening at my work: My coworker wrote a book and it's being published. The boss is suing her saying it's his because he owns whatever she creates (NY) Location New York. My coworker and me are both cashiers and we work in a store. She didn't write any of the book at work because you can't have your phone or tablet or anything else with you when you are at the register. But our boss says he owns anything that she or anyone else who works here makes. Is this true or does it not count because she didn't write it while she was at work? I just would like to know thanks. (Sorry if this is hard to understand, english is not my mother language) | d7glru6 | d7gn58s | 1,473,481,201 | 1,473,484,334 | 8 | 44 | Even if she wrote it at work he still wouldn't own it. I honestly can't believe people like this exist. | A programmer who programs a thing would likely be vulnerable to such a claim from their employer, but your coworker isn't making money on the side by freelance cashiering. Writing has literally nothing to do with the job, so the argument that she was somehow hired to do so is a bit weak. Remember, employment doesn't mean that the boss owns her. Employment is the boss renting her time and effort. The boss doesn't control what she does in her spare time and has exactly zero claim on any of it. The programmer thing is usually the case because the employer includes it in the employment agreement. | 0 | 3,133 | 5.5 |
521gsu | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Question about something that's happening at my work: My coworker wrote a book and it's being published. The boss is suing her saying it's his because he owns whatever she creates (NY) Location New York. My coworker and me are both cashiers and we work in a store. She didn't write any of the book at work because you can't have your phone or tablet or anything else with you when you are at the register. But our boss says he owns anything that she or anyone else who works here makes. Is this true or does it not count because she didn't write it while she was at work? I just would like to know thanks. (Sorry if this is hard to understand, english is not my mother language) | d7gmy14 | d7gnnzl | 1,473,483,852 | 1,473,485,635 | 25 | 30 | I'll bet the employer has watched the HBO TV show "Silicon Valley"; a dispute over ownership of intellectual property created by an employee is a plot point. There is almost zero chance that as a cashier you were hired to create or invent. And since you aren't allowed to have writing materials or devices on the job, there's zero chance she used Company resources to create the book. Here's a nice readable article about how ownership of intellectual property from side jobs works in several jurisdictions: \[Link\] | Wait is the boss actually suing her, like did she receive court papers? If this did happen, she needs to show up to court to avoid a default judgement, and also to derive entertainment from the judge laughing. | 0 | 1,783 | 1.2 |
521gsu | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Question about something that's happening at my work: My coworker wrote a book and it's being published. The boss is suing her saying it's his because he owns whatever she creates (NY) Location New York. My coworker and me are both cashiers and we work in a store. She didn't write any of the book at work because you can't have your phone or tablet or anything else with you when you are at the register. But our boss says he owns anything that she or anyone else who works here makes. Is this true or does it not count because she didn't write it while she was at work? I just would like to know thanks. (Sorry if this is hard to understand, english is not my mother language) | d7gnnzl | d7glrdn | 1,473,485,635 | 1,473,481,174 | 30 | 9 | Wait is the boss actually suing her, like did she receive court papers? If this did happen, she needs to show up to court to avoid a default judgement, and also to derive entertainment from the judge laughing. | Unless it was a commissioned work as part of her job, she owns the rights. | 1 | 4,461 | 3.333333 |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.