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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] 9 months, I have an office crush, how do I eliminate it/deal with it?
POST: So I posted about this on AskReddit and my GF found it. I told her I wanted to talk to her about it later, but that was a lie. I don't know how to talk to her about this stuff. She only thinks about me, and I'm not a good enough person to handle it. Yesterday, we just talked on Messenger about our marriage procedures and how we'll both live in the US. And after work I had a beer or two with my coworkers and talked to one girl about music. She's funny and different from my partner, I'm a bit interested in her but obviously I'm not going to do anything. But I flirt with her without even thinking about it! It's nearly impossible not to flirt with her. And she knows I'm taken. I sometimes think about what could happen with her if I weren't taken, but try to quash those thoughts, and toss them from my mind.
My questions: how can I address the idea of having a crush with my partner? Or is it just not worth it if it'll upset her 100% of the time, like it currently is?
How can I "crush" the idea of a "crush"? I don't want this. It makes everything more complicated.
TL;DR: | gonna marry and start a life with this girl in my home country, I have a crush on a coworker and don't know what to do and don't know how to talk to my GF about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my Friend [19F], she has a boyfriend, has feelings for me
POST: I work with her, and just over a month back she started talking to me over Facebook. We would talk and flirt back and forth. Eventually I asked her for her number because fb messenger is a pain to use.
This is where it starts to get weird. She tells me that ever since I started tlaking to her on fb she can't get me out of here head. Asks me if I have feelings for her and what they might be. (Physical, If I would date her, or if I wanted to be friends) Told her given the opportunity I'd date her.
A day passes. She starts telling me that she wishes she was in a relationship with me and not her current bf. I tell her that I can't be the guy that ruins the relationship they have (he's a nice guy) so I slow conversation for a bit, changing the subject whenever anything comes up about it.
I hang out with her a few times. Go to dinner, hang out at her place watching netflix. End up staying over a couple times (nothing happens besides a bit of cuddling at first) Stayed over again last night because she watched my puppy and lost track of time. Wasn't expecting it but she kissed me and because I have feelings for her, I kiss her back.
All while this is going on she has been sending me risqué texts behind her boyfriends back. I feel really uneasy about the whole thing. I would like to date her but I don't want her to break up with the guy for me. (they have been dating for 5 months) I'm not sure what I should do. Tell her she needs to make a decision and leave her to do so? Or just move on and forget about this girl.
TL;DR: | I have feelings for this girl. She has the same feelings but has a boyfriend. Not sure how to handle it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Tattoo Artists of Reddit, how likely would it be for a person without tattoos to become a tattoo artist?
POST: Recently I've been considering seeking out a tattoo apprenticeship.
The problem is that I don't have or want any tattoos. If I did ever get any, it probably wouldn't be for a long time. I love tattoos, but at this point in my life, there's nothing I can think of that I would want to have on my body for the rest of my life (and I'm 21 and female). I think it'd be really awesome to start getting tattooed as a middle aged or older woman, as at that point I may have a better perspective on what I want on my body.
I'm interested in tattooing because I am passionate about art and design. To someday have the chance to make a living through art would be an incredible dream. I am also currently going to college in a fine arts program. I am a very good illustrator and artist and am continuing to learn and develop my skills.
I'm and am willing to pay my dues through an apprenticeship. I do not have an inflated ego.
I also completely understand how competitive and trendy this type of job has become. One does not simply walk into the tattooing industry, it requires years of hard work and not everyone reaches success.
I also get that being tattooed is a unique experience that someone without tattoos probably can't understand. There are many people who would probably be distrustful of a non-tattooed artist. Some might see me as phony or as an intruder.
I don't have art to show on this post, but hypothetically, if someone had a fantastic portfolio (and overall seemed to be a good fit for the shop and the mentor) but had no tattoos, would you ever consider them for an apprenticeship?
TL;DR: | I dont have or want tattoos, but am considering seeking a tattoo apprenticeship. Would any mentor consider taking in an apprentice with no tattoos? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 F] with my bf [26 M] of 1.5 years, wondering why he is bipolar in terms of how he treats me
POST: UPDATE: We broke up yesterday. He told me he didn't know if I was a priority. I think someone asking if they could take a nap at your birthday party should give you the hint.
TL;DR: | Bf is acting "hot and cold" towards me in terms of being kind and then really mean. Has anybody else felt like this? What did you do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: After an accident, medical bills are piling up, but I'm still in school. Who's responsible?
POST: Over two years ago now, I was volunteering at my college and a large piece of scenery (6'x25' piece of plywood framed with steel) fell on my head. I went to the hospital immediately following this accident, and they said nothing was wrong that wouldn't get better in, at most, a few months. 2 years, 5 x-rays, 2 MRIs and countless hours of physical therapy later, I'm still not better.
I've had a couple of hospital visits (ER) since then, any my insurance is kind of terrible. I'm now being pursued by bill collectors for over $1000 of medical bills. Normally, my mom pays these bills. However, since it was my dad who took me to the hospital, she says that he's responsible for them and insists that he pays them. (They're divorced.) He can't, and doesn't, so I end up getting the calls because the insurance is under my name, though it's being paid by my mother. She still claims me as a dependent on her taxes, so I'm wondering if she's still responsible for paying these bills.
I've tried talking to her about it, but she adamantly refuses to discuss the issue beyond saying that my dad needs to pay them. But what if one of my friends were to take me to the hospital? Would she insist they pay the bill?
(The college's insurance did an inquiry and they denied liability, so that's why this is even an issue.)
TL;DR: | I have lots of unpaid medical bills, and my mother still lists me as a dependent. Is she responsible for paying them, or am I? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30 M] with my wife [34 F] 2.5 years, she cries at every minor disagreement.
POST: I have been with my wife for 5 years married for 2.5. Over the last year or so anytime I even slightly disagree with her or we get in the smallest of arguments she breaks down and starts crying stopping all communication.
For example this morning while we were trying to get ready for work, and while she was changing the baby he spit up on her. I ran and grabbed her a wet paper towel so she could wipe it off. Well I guess I should have grabbed a dish towel because the wet paper towel left some bits behind on her clothes. At that point I felt she started talking to me like I was some kind of moron who didn't have enough common sense to offer her a regular towel.
I was admittedly annoyed and let her know she didn't have to treat me like I'm asshole when all I was trying to do was help. There was no yelling or screaming from me or anything of that sort, but she just started crying hysterically after I said that.
This is just one example but it is the same thing anytime we argue or even disagree. I honestly don't know how to handle it right now. Is there anything I can do to help her stop crying at everything? My compassion tank for dealing with the crying is basically at 0.
TL;DR: | My wife cries during every argument no matter how minor or mundane the argument is. How do I help her stop crying at everything? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22/F] with my new boyfriend [24/M], but often times think and miss my ex [25/M]
POST: During the summer I got in my first relationship, and even though we were only together for 2 months I really fell hard for him. He was my first kiss and even though I did not lose my virginity to him (I did want to...) I shared a lot of my firsts with him. To say the least I was very innocent before him (never even held hands with a guy), so every moment we shared together I valued so much.
Anyways...he broke up with me in August, so clearly it's been a long time and since then I never seen him. But the problem is I can't forget him. Even now that I have a new boyfriend (since February 8th) I still frequently think of my ex. I am very attracted to my current boyfriend and care and love him very much, but I do get moments where I miss my ex.
I also think that no guy has ever made me feel the way my ex did. With my ex I used to get light headed whenever we made out, but with my current boyfriend I never feel that way.
I was just wondering...is this normal? I mean, over time will I eventually completely forget my ex and not miss him anymore? I guess I also want to vent too. It just feels fustrating for me sometimes when I still miss and think of my ex, and I know he doesn't ever think of me.
TL;DR: | I still miss my first boyfriend who broke up with me months ago, even though I am in a relationship now with someone I am happy with. Do people ever really forget and stop missing their first love? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: First night as manager goes to shit. Not sure what to do. (Long post, sorry)
POST: This Monday was my first night managing a fast food place by myself (had 4 whole days of training the week before). The General Manager left to another state for a training seminar or something earlier that Monday. At 11:30pm the operating system on the computer registers went down and we had to start using cash only and hand writing orders on paper. I wrote down everything that was ordered and how much it was so we would have a sales record of sorts. I called the GM as soon as possible and tried to tell him what was going on. He told me to call the Tech Support line for the registers OS. Luckily one of the guys working that night was an ex computer tech worker, so after a while on the phone they figured out what was wrong. Unfortunately I was trying to count cash from the registers at the same time that he was in the office (where all the money is) looking at the computers.
After the next two days off, one of which the registers went down again, I show up and the GM starts saying that money was short from that night, basically accusing my coworker of stealing it, and that it was my fault the registers OS went down in the first place. He said a bunch of crap about how someone was trying to 'sabatoge' the store and that an angry coworker must have turned off this special computer in the office that connects the registers to the tech company. The worst part is that the registers went offline WHILE HE WAS THERE and he had to call the support line to get everything back up, but he still thinks it's me or a coworker fucking with stuff in the office. I had to call tech support again tonight for another problem and got into a conversation with the guy about how fucked up our systems are. I'm pretty sure the cash will be super fucked up again because of all these computer problems but I can't do anything about it.
TL;DR: | Computer problems are being blamed on me and my coworker and I can't afford to lose my shitty job. I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [18F] and I [18M] are in our senior year of high school, and I have concerns about the future of our relationship.
POST: We've been dating for 5 months so far, and I'm definitely serious about her and I. Right now, we're extremely happy with each other and I told her that I loved her last week. Everything is great right now. Unfortunately, we won't be together for Christmas break, but we'll FaceTime each other and call regularly.
I've read posts about high school sweet hearts trying to take a relationship into college before, almost everything that I've read has resulted in a break up. I know if her and I go down this road, I'll be devastated in the end. Second semester is going to fly by, and before we know it, we'll be going to prom. I know I should live in the moment here, and I've been trying to go along the lines of that, but I do want to start forming some kind of plan.
I should also mention that we're not going to the same college. She might go out of state, I'm going to community college for financial reasons, and she's getting accepted into four year universities. It would be a LDR. I love this girl, and I'm willing to compromise to stay with her.
Anyway, my question is: What should we do? Should I try to maintain a LDR with her? I'm hoping for suggestions or stories of your own I guess. I know I'm jumping way ahead of myself with thoughts like this but I just want an opinion different than my own.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend and I are going to different colleges, second semester of this senior year is going to fly by, and I want to start forming a plan. Should we go into college trying to maintain a LDR? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, Man that want to cheat the Phone Companies!
POST: Hi Reddit quick questions!
1: Is there any other Devices like the Ipod Touch (Largish screen that is fully touch screen with a smooth OS and touch screen? The Device must have wi-fi compatibilities.)
2: For those of you that Jailbroken your Ipod Touches is there a way to get Skype Mobile and Google Voice as Apps?
Those are my two questions but for a small overview I almost always in wifi and I don't want to spend $70 a month for a 3g phone. Please don't post about how I can get $10 cheap phones with pay as I go but if I was going to get a phone it would be 3g.
Anyways I want to see if I can get a Ipod Touch 2g (Preferably maybe 3g or later if I must) and use Skype Mobile for Talking (Everyone I know has Skype) and Use google voice for Sms. So It would cost me $0 a month but I don't know if it will work. Please help a fellow redditor out!
TL;DR: | I want to use a Ipod Touch as a phone using Skype and Google Voice. And I need the two questions on top answered. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [29/M] sister [32/F] is marrying her partner and I'm not sure what is expected of me
POST: Kind of awkward wording so I will elaborate. My sister [32/F] is marrying her partner [DontKnowAge/F]. They got together shortly before moving to the other side of the country so I have only met her partner once but they will be moving back here in the future. Honestly I'm not even sure how long they've been together.
I'm not incredibly socially competent so usually when there is a major change in my life I turn to google for answers but I'm coming up dry here. I want my FSiL to feel welcome in the family but I am, by nature, fairly distant socially and generally only speak to my family once per month or longer. Not out of bad blood but just because I don't have anything to say.
My current strategy has been to do what my sister asks of me but I don't take initiative to do things on my own (as pertaining to their relationship).
TL;DR: | Is there something I should be aware of that a BiL is expected to do without prompting or should I exclusively remain in the wings until approached by either my sister or FSiL for contribution? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I (m20) get on with her (f20) abusive dad?
POST: Been with this girl for two years, everythings great, communications easy, sex keeps getting better and everything is peachy. I come from a very loving family with very very few rows or confrontations, whereas hers is the opposite. Her dad has anger issues and is abusive and her mum is an alcoholic, though she's lovely when she's sober.
I've never really clicked with her dad and he's been a real prick to everyone in the family. Blowing up for no reason, pouring water over the mums head in the middle ofthe night. While i didnt like what he was doing in the slightest i tried to keep an open mind because he's my SO's dad and our families are just polar opposites.
This weekend however my SO told me that when she was 15 her dad went berserk and I assume beat everyone but he definitely hit my girlfriend. Now obviously this makes me beyond angry, but I still have to see him over Christmas. Everytime I think about going over to the parents house I just get this image of my SO being punched and flying across the room defenseless and it makes my blood boil. He's apparently swung for her again, most recently about 6 months ago but she just stayed at mine.
Can any one give me any insight in to how I can deal with this? I'm just so unused to any confrontation, physical or verbal in families. Also how do I support my SO whenthis could easily happen again?
TL;DR: | so's father is physically abusive, known for a while he has anger problems but only just found out he's hit my SO. How do I deal with being in the same room as him and how do I support my SO? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24/M] just broke up with my girlfriend [23/F]
POST: I just did it 4 days ago and I still feel horrible. Dating this wonderful, sweet girl for about 10 months. First relationship, always avoided them as I've always seen myself as too selfish to indulge in a relationship. Really like her, really like her friends, really like her family. Drop dead gorgeous. She is head over heels in love with me. I get this overwhelming feeling of guilt because I feel like my affection for her has plateau'd and given that this is my first relationship I determine it's probably because I have no base to which to compare my affection. I'm incredibly calculating with regards to my emotions, as much as I hate it, and I realized that in the long run, I would always be wondering what if I had dated other people, what would I have found... and it would have developed into resentment, and just been a gnawing misgiving for there for the rest of our relationship. Instead I decided to end things so I can play the field more, get more experience with relationships so that I can determine what I am truly looking for. It came out of left field and devastated her. There was literally no way she saw it coming and all she keeps asking is what she did wrong. But honest to god it's me. There are small things that she would do that would be off-putting, but it was nothing we couldn't talk about. It was incredibly tough for me to actually break up with her. I still feel incredibly guilty and I know she is still devastated. She's taken a leave of absence from her work. I feel so terrible.
I can't help but wonder if I made a terrible mistake but I know these feelings I was having cannot be healthy for a relationship. Hell, who knows, maybe one day in the far future the stars will align and we can get back together. I thought I'd feel relief because I don't have this guilty conscience... but I just feel terrible. Did I fuck up? I have an overwhelming urge to call her and sympathize with her, but my friends say it will just make it harder on her.
TL;DR: | Broke up with a girl, broke her heart, feeling guilty. How long does this last? Tips for getting over things, tips for helping her get over things? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [27/F] sister [22/F] is having a huge issue with a crazy ex boyfriend harassing her online and now he is targeting our family including myself. Need help!
POST: Ok so I made a throwaway just for this since I don't know if he is on reddit and don't want to be found, but here is the issue:
My sister was in a long distance relationship with this guy, I believe he is the same age. He manipulated her, brain-washed her, and just took advantage all while being thousands of miles away (I know, crazy). It got to the point where she stopped going out, stopped hanging out with friends, etc.
He also had her on the phone CONSTANTLY. Like she'd have her headset on 24/7 and on a phone call with him. If she left the house, she had to send pictures to him to prove she was where she said she was. All of this was just crazy and I couldn't believe how or why my sister fell for this and how she was still able to continue a relationship with this dude.
Fast forward five months and somehow my sister snaps out of it and breaks up with him. This is when shit hit the fan. He went apeshit. Called her 100s of times a day, emailed, etc. Then she blocked him from everything and he continued to find her new emails and new numbers.
Now it has escalated to where he is creating fake facebook profiles and instagram accounts to shame her by pretending to be her and posting sexual/pornographic images. He has also made a page pretending to be her, made an "orgy-party" event and posted my parents address.
We are at a loss at what to do and I'm just needing a bit of help. We are just blocking the pages, reporting to Facebook, etc. but he keeps making pages after pages and sending messages to me and my older sister.
Thanks for taking the time to read this!
TL;DR: | Sister has a crazy ex that is harassing her online and pretending to be her by making fake profiles. At a loss of what to do next. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [27F] just rediscovered the 'how to fix your gayness' notes my mother wrote after I came out to her five years ago.
POST: I was thoroughly miserable throughout my teenage years, for several reasons. My parents are not great communicators or demonstrators of affection, so the question of 'why were you so unhappy?' didn't actually arise until I was 22. I consider it to be one of the most difficult moments of my life, when I decided to share with mother that I had struggled with feelings for other girls.
I waited until I could see her in person, as we don't live in the same city. It was the second to last day of my trip home when I finally somehow gathered the courage to sit down with her and say it. She seemed shocked into silence. There was very little discussion. But as I was soon to find out she had plenty of opinion on the subject. Later I found a list on my pillow of all the ways she rationalised that this could have happened to me and how we could treat it.
I had expected her to be the 'we love you for who you are' type, but boy was I wrong. I 'needed to be fixed.' We had a massive argument that day. I left. And then we never spoke of it again.
5 years later, I'm now 27 and visiting home. My mother just gave me a folder of paperwork relating to me that needed to be sorted through. And I found... the notes she made. This feels like a fresh wound again.
I envy the relationship other women have with their mothers. While we weren't particularly close before the incident, now I actively dislike going home and being physically close to her. I feel like the damage is irreparable. Would appreciate advice.
TL;DR: | Just rediscovered notes my mother made on 'fixing' my gayness 5 years ago. Relationship is still broken, how can we move on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22/M] have been looking to break up with my gf [21] of 2 years for over 2 months now but misfortune keeps striking her. Most recent is that she found out her dad has cancer. Need advice
POST: I have been looking to breakup with my girlfriend of 2 years for about 2 months now as I will be traveling to a completely different part of the country for grad school as well as some other issues. The thing is, every time I feel I have worked up the courage, she finds out something terrible has happened. Housing situations falling through, current roommates killed her pet hamster, parents couldn't make college graduation because her dad had to have surgery to remove a benign tumor, and most recently, they found out that he now has malignant cancer in a different part of his body. I know the saying "there is never a good time to break up," but I would like to end on relatively good terms and I feel that would not be possible if I do it when she has so much shit going on in her life.
So relationships, do you have any advice?
TL;DR: | Want to break up with girlfriend but her life has turned into the "A Series of Unfortunate Events" books. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [22M] tell a bunch of friends that they owe a society money?
POST: I'm part of a university society that offers meals for its members. These meals are not free, but the system allows you to sign up for them and pay later, and keeps a record of your debt. This sounds silly or at least risky, but is meant to encourage members to come to meals rather than think "I can't afford it this week" or something like that. That said, any deficit in the system is made up by one or two dedicated students - we don't have any rich donors that can cover debts longterm, so it is important that people do eventually pay up, if they can. Unfortunately, people do fairly regularly leave the university without paying off their debt, and once that happens, the automated debt emails start to bounce from their no-longer-active university email accounts.
Which brings me to my question. I'm not one of the people in charge of running the meal system, but I have some involvement in the running of the society website so I have access to the database of debtors, and I've been at the society longer than most people with a fairly high level of involvement, so I would estimate I know at least half of the people who have left without paying to at least a Facebook friend level.
The person in charge of rounding up owed money has asked me to contact the people I know about this, and I agreed because I've seen how stressful trying to handle this has been for her, but most of the people on the list are not close friends of mine, just people I've occasionally spoken to. How can I tactfully establish contact with them and ask them to pay my society money?
TL;DR: | I've volunteered to speak to people that owe a university society money, but most of them are neither close friends of mine nor people I don't know at all. Is there a way to be tactful about this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by taking a screenshot on my phone.
POST: so here I am waiting for the subway to go to work. Browsing my instagram feed. Cute girl walks up to wait on the platform for the train stands only a few feet from me. See a post that I think my girlfriend would like. Decide to screencap it and just send her the pic because she doesnt use instagram. Holding phone at a normal texing level but have to raise it a bit to hit the two button screenshot combo. Well apparently my volume was all the way up and my phone plays the camera shutter sound when you screencap. Girl next to me screams "Are you fucking SERIOUS?!?!?" And smacks my phone out of my hand and into the snow 4 feet below the platform and walks to the opposite end of the platform to wait for the train. So here I am- wet jeans and a still working phone- just counting seconds till she gets off the train so I can breathe. Couldn't think of a way to approach her in order to explain myself.
This is my day so far.
TL;DR: | Take screencap on phone- girl next to me thinks I took pic of her. Smacks phone into the arctic tundra leaves before I can explain. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20 F] miss my (former?) best friend [20 M] of 6 years, we haven't talked in 6 months.
POST: Hi r/relationships. I'll try to keep this short. My best friend and I were super close for many years, we went to the same schools, so we were able to physically see each other a lot. For college, we both moved out of state, but we went to different schools in different states, so we weren't able to see each other as much anymore, but we would still talk a lot. Everything was fine for the first year of college, but this past year, my friend got pretty busy with a few jobs, his girlfriend, and school. I also have a job and classes to deal with, so I understand that he couldn't be available at all times, but it seemed like something changed.
We used to text each other every day at all times of the day, but I was now unable to get a reply for several days. I was aware that he was busy and had a girlfriend, and so I decided to let him know that I didn't want to keep bothering him with texts, and that he could just text me whenever he had time. I did this to try to preserve our friendship, but I think it actually ended it, because we haven't spoken in months. I think maybe he mistook my respect of his situation as an attack, like, "you don't want to talk to me? Fine, I'll stop bothering you!" when that wasn't what I was trying to do at all. I want to reach out to him, but I'm scared, because I'd rather live with not knowing if our friendship is over, than having it confirmed.
I miss him so much, but I've only ever wanted him to be happy, and he seems to be doing fine without me. Should I just leave him alone and accept the fact that maybe I miss him more than he misses me?
TL;DR: | It became difficult to get my best friend to talk to me, so I told him to just talk to me when he had time, but I think he mistook my intentions and we haven't spoken in months. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (34M) I don't respect my father and hate myself for it. More in comment section.
POST: Im an accomplished professional, married with 3 kids. I have pretty much everything what an upper middle class family can afford, both materialistically and spiritually. Yet there is one thing still chasing me from the childhood and i simply cannot overcome it.
In short, I was 11 when our parents separated. It was a very dramatic and disgusting divorce as i remember. Our parents and their close relatives tried everything they could to damage one another's reputation in front of their children ( my brother and I). During the final court hearing, I voiced my wish to live with my father and the wish was granted.
Soon, my father remarried and had another child, I was 14 by that time. Constant friction between my stepmother and I continued escalating literally until I moved out his house at the age of 20.
After countless hours of self analysis I have come to a conclusion that my father has been verbally abusing me all my life. All I have are negative memories of his verbal abuse. Name calling was very common, but no profanity. "You stupid idiot" was his famous one. I have never heard him praising me yet he was very generous pointing out my problems and failures. What a sure way to raise an insecure child.
Now, fast forward, he has turned me into a successful person, full of anger towards himself, I'm hardly happy with my accomplishments and display traits of perfectionism. Financially, he's very unstable. Every time I take an opportunity to help, he turns me down just the way he's been turning me down all my life. At 34, I have completely gone the opposite route from him, when we meet I have nothing to talk to him about and what really bothers me is that I should accept things the way they are and have some kind of a closure and yet I don't and I can't. All I want is that healthy father son relationship at the present moment that I've never had.
I feel like I need a professional therapy and should just quit trying to self help. Reddit is my last attempt.
TL;DR: | My father is a very pessimistic person. My entire life he's been brining me down instead of providing guidance. How can I held myself to come in acceptance with his character and move on with my life? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by peeing on a campfire.
POST: In 2008, I went to a State Park with Boy Scouts. On Saturday night, we had the troop campfire in our patrol site. When everyone outside of our patrol left, two boys peed on the fire to put it out. Several minutes later, I decided to pee on it to put the rest of it out. One scout in my patrol asked "Why did you pee in the fire!" Everyone was mad at me and the campsite smelled bad.
The next morning, when I still thought it was funny, people were still mad at me for peeing on the fire. The camp site still smelled bad. When a scout from another patrol walked into our campsite, he asked "What's that smell" so a guy from our patrol said, "Last night, this guy peed on the fire."
I received most of the blame for it even though two other boys peed on the fire too.
TL;DR: | I peed on the campfire and the campsite smelled bad into the next morning. Everyone was mad at me. A guy from another patrol wondered why the campsite smelled bad. I received the blame for it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by failing to FULLY introduce my friend to Reddit.
POST: Everyday at work I comb through reddit looking for interesting articles to rattle off to my co-workers. It gives me something productive to do with my time at work and makes me seem smart.
About 2 months ago my co-worker asked what site I am always looking at, so I explained Reddit to him. He thought it was interesting and immediately made an account. Having the classy reddiquette that I do, I figured I would help him set up his subscriptions with all the most interesting, top subs. Something work related came up and I ended up not finishing the list.
Jump to today: Three months later, co-worker has turned into a complete asshole. Constantly making racist jokes about white people, jive speaking, and degrading all of the women at work with weight problems. I couldn't figure it out.. He used to be SO nice! He approached me today, thanking me again for setting up his Reddit account. Then I figured it out..
TL;DR: | I fucked up by only subscribing my co-worker to /r/fatpeoplehate and /r/blackpeopletwitter |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: My parents old pastor has been hitting my mother up for methadone. I want to report him but am unsure of the legal ramifications that my mother might face. (Indiana)
POST: The title pretty much sums it up. My parents old pastor has been hounding my mother for her vicodin and her methadone. He comes over a few times a month and he will not take no for an answer. He's even gone as far as tracking my mother down and going to her relative's house to get drugs. The worst part is that they're also renting from his family. So they're kind of stuck between a rock and an asshole.
Clearly he is in a position of power over my parents and this is a very clear abuse of that power. I want to report him after they move out because I don't want this to happen to anyone else, but I don't want my parents to get in trouble either.
TL;DR: | asshole pastor is using my mother for drugs and I need to know what kind of trouble my mom might run into if I report said asshole. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[F25] asked my boyfriend of 1.5 years [M25] if we could move in this summer. He said he's not ready. Too soon?
POST: Hey Guys,
So, I've been dating this amazing guy for 1.5 years. We are both financially independent, and are in a great place in our relationship. We spend probably 5 nights a week together currently either at my place or his. I have talked with him previously about the idea of marriage, and while, of course, he's said he's not ready now, he says he likes the idea and would be more comfortable after dating 4 years or so, which is fine with me. We have seen a couple who drug out a relationship too long, and he has said repeatedly that he would never do that to me.
Last night, I brought up moving in together this summer when we will have been dating 2 years, and he says that he doesn't want to give up his own space yet. He says that he feels like he hasn't spent enough time living on his own (he got out of a live in relationship of 2 years 6 months before we started dating). Am I unreasonable at being upset by this? He says it has nothing to do with him not wanting to be with me, and he doesn't want to back off at all. He says he just wants things to stay as they are, but I feel like this means that he doesn't want to commit. Am I freaking out too soon? I know we still have time. 25 is still pretty young, but I feel like this is a case of him "having his cake and eating it too".
TL;DR: | BF[25] of 1.5 years says he's happy with me, but doesn't want to give up living on his own just yet. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by shooting a birch board at someone
POST: Ok, this is a post from a few days ago but the mods decided to remove it because it was too short. I'm going to try to be as descriptive as possible.
It's Thursday afternoon, about 1:30. I'm in my sixth hour class(wood shop) and I'm on the big belt sander *smoothening* one of the legs for my coffee table I'm building. The teacher is going around supervising us, making sure we're using the tools the right way. Apparently I wasn't.
He comes over to me and he's been standing there for a few minutes now. I'm minding my own business, sanding away and then the board slips out of my grip flying towards the teachers rib cage(pretty fast as well). Keep in mind he's nearing his sixties so he's pretty fragile. It hits him in his gut and he stands there holding his gut, and tells me to go to the office, groaningly.
I tell the Assistant Principal what happened and he suspends me for 4 days because "I wasn't using the shop equipment correctly, as I was taught). I was furious because if **HE** was following safety precautions and not standing in front of the sander he wouldn't have got hit by the board.
TL;DR: | Shop teacher got hit by a flying 4x4 because he wasn't following safety precautions, and *I* was the one to get punished. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Is it possible to be friends after breaking up?
POST: We met on OKCupid and had no mutual friends when we started dating. We lasted 3 months. I had my uncertainties and was never head-over-heels for her, but I'm 21 and this was my first relationship and it hurts. She broke up with me almost 2 weeks ago, confirming my suspicions that she did not "like" me anymore. We never fought. Our relationship was always honest and I guess the breakup was as clean as they come.
But I miss her. For all the doubts I had, for all the times I myself thought of ending it, I miss her. I see on Facebook that she's going to a party and miss the times we went to parties together. And that gets me thinking, "what if she invited me to go to the party as friends? Would that be possible?" It's probably foolishness, but part of me is entertaining the idea that, because we never fought or anything, maybe we could still be friends and maybe I could see her sometimes. Part of me continues in the habitual thinking of "I'll see her sometime within the next few days."
Please tell me this is foolishness. We have no mutual friends and trying to be friends would only be trying to perpetuate something already dead. Right? I need someone to talk me out of these thoughts...
TL;DR: | Part of me entertains ideas of seeing her, still being friends. Please tell me if this is foolishness. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by destroying my girlfriends parents toilet.
POST: Unlike other posts that reference F*** ups from years ago, This FU isn't even over yet.
I'm writing to you people from ground zero still not knowing what to do.
So here's where it begins. I'm in the process of moving back east. From Montana to New Jersey. However me and my gf had to be out of our apartment yesterday and her parents offered their home as a stop-gap between moves.
That being said, I haven't been able to take a proper poop for DAYS.
So about an hour ago I wake up from this pain. It's like a harsh pressure in my bowls, like a guantanamo prisoners colon. I begin to weigh options of how to handle the 8th wonder of the world stirring inside of me. Then my large intestines decided for me.
I hobble my way to the bathroom and reenact Hiroshima.
This is probably one of the longest, hardest, biggest shits I've ever taken. I can't imagine child birth yields as much. Only after two days living at my girlfriends parents house, after all their generosity, I clearly devastate their bathroom.
It's 5 AM, the house is asleep, and no plunger in sight. I write to you seated on this porcelain throne, contemplating every decision in my life that's lead me to this moment. I have no idea what to do.
TL;DR: | Took earth shattering shit at my girlfriend's parents house. Was distressful, later blamed aftermath on her younger brother. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: [Nerdy] Added new measurements to my MFP report
POST: I thought that calculating the volume I should mathematically lose on a day to day basis for any given caloric deficit as well as its cumulation might give me an extra boost in motivation and discipline.
For those who might be interested in my calculations:
I assumed the density of adipose tissue (i.e. body fat) to be 0.94 g/cm³ [(Source)](
1 kg of fat = (1000g/(0.94 g/cm³)) = 1063.83 cm³
Dividing this noumber through the kcal in a kg of fat yields us the volume of fat 1 kcal takes up:
1063.83 cm³/7000 kcal = 0,15 cm³/kcal
Multiplying that with your caloric deficit will give you the volume you've lost that day.
TL;DR: | A 100 kcal deficit will shave off roughly 15ml of fat off of you. A kg of fatloss makes you slimmer by 1063.83 ml, while an lb means 482.54 ml less. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [33F] with my husband [28M] together 4 years duration, he never told me he doesn't want kids.
POST: So this is my second marriage. We have only been married for a year (we were a couple for 3years prior) but we are really happy. Our relationship has been smooth-sailing for the most part. I feel like I am ready to have kids. Its something I have always wanted. He already has a daughter from a previous relationship and I love her but I still want my own. So I talked to him about trying to get pregnant and he says he agrees that it might be the right time to start trying. His reaction surprised me-- I was expecting him to say we weren't ready or something like he usually does... AND then I did something bad:: I read his journal entry for the night we talked about it and it turns out--he doesn't really want to have kids. He said he would go through with it because he loves me and he wants me to be happy but he doesn't really understand why I would want that. He said his firstborn was an accident and although he loves her, if it had been up to him--it wouldn't have happened. I read a bunch of other posts that say if you disagree on that topic--your relationship is essentially over. I want to talk to him about it but I can't because I'm not supposed to know the truth. I KNOW it was wrong of me to read his journal-- but if I hadn't read it... I would have assumed we were on the same page kid-wise. Should I bring it up to him? Is there any way I can ask him about it without it starting a huge "how-dare-you-read-my-journal" argument? Should I pretend I don't know and go along with it? I do not want to force him to have kids with me if he doesn't want to... I just wish he had been honest about this before we got married.
TL;DR: | I read my husbands journal and found out he does not really want to have kids, even though he said he did. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [F28] am pregnant (yay!). Any advice on how to tell my absolute best friend [F27] who has been trying to conceive for over a year?
POST: Hello!
I'm just looking for some advice from people who have been on both sides of my situation. I'm on mobile so forgive me if the formatting gets messed up.
We, my husband [M31] and I, found out this passed weekend that we are expecting our second child this next Spring. Only 4 weeks along, so we aren't going over board with telling people. However due to a passed miscarriage late in a pregnancy (16 weeks) we aren't going to wait for the 12 week mark. I have a sonogram to confirm the age, size, and placement of the little tadpole next month. After that we will make it more public.
Only thing is I need advice on how to share this with my very best friend. I love MJ [F27] so very much and we have been friends for well over a decade now. For nearly as long as I can remember she and her husband were going to be child free or eventually adopt.
This past year I had been getting the feeling they were wanting to get pregnant from little things I would see on Facebook. A few months ago when we were eating dinner together she told me that they had been trying to conceive for a year. She has seeking medical advice and such.
A few days later the topic of pregnancy (possibility for either of us) came up. I let her know how touched I was that she shared that with me. I have not experienced such things and while I cannot give advice or guidance, I am hear to listen, cry, or make inappropriate jokes- basically if she needs me I am here.
Fast forward 3 months. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant and now I am! (Yay!!) I love my friend and she has been there for me through so much, I just don't want me telling her about the pregnancy to end up with sad tears vs happy ones.
TL;DR: | I [F28] am pregnant, any advice on how to tell my best friend [F27] who has been having fertility issues (trying to conceive for over a year)? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Abusive Relationships... ugh.
POST: So I (f/18) have been dating a guy (m/18) for roughly 15 months now. However, for the past five or six months, he's been acting very aggressive and abusive when I'm upset about something. I won't lie -- I get upset about things pretty easily. However, he screams at me, insults me, and threatens me way more than I think I'm deserving. If we were arguing over the phone, he'd hang up and ignore every incoming call I try to make. However, after an hour of acting like this, he takes a breather and apologizes for how he was behaving. Each time, I take him back because I think he's just troubled and needs some guidance. However, it's getting to the point where I stay up until 6 AM trying to calm him down when I have to wake up at 7 AM for classes, or I stress myself out too much where I can't eat or sleep. He's tried therapy before, but it didn't change much. He has mother issues (she was very abusive, and she died back in 2005) and overall family issues. Would it be cruel of me to just opt out and leave him? I do believe I love him and some part of me THINKS he'll get better, but I'm not very sure anymore. The answer does seem pretty clear, but still, do you think it's worth it for me to stay?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend has recently been very abusive, but we've been dating for so long that it may not be worth breaking up. Thoughts? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my GF [24 F] of 2 years - She told me she doesn't feel a connection, but still loves me
POST: So recently, my girlfriend had been acting kind of distant and cold. We're in a long distance relationship (NYC & DC) and this is something you can pick up on pretty easily.
Two weeks go by and I finally ask her whats going on. She said she doesn't feel that we have a connection anymore but still loves me. She said she doesn't want to break up but doesn't know anymore. She's recently been through a very religious experience and therefore doesn't want to be physical or anything at all. She feels religious guilt for being with me. I'm agnostic but am looking to convert to her religious-subsect because I feel a connection with it. (objectively too, I always had a fascination with Islam before) I'm fully supportive of her decisions, I told her being physical isn't that important but I can let it go for her because I really do love her.
We have been through many ups and downs in the two years, breaking up always because of religion. She says she really loves me and I told her I want to make it work but she said she just doesn't know.
I suggested we take a break and re-evaluate and talk properly when I go visit her the weekend of March 28th. We're supposed to talk again tonight to kind of figure things out.
What do you guys think? I'm so lost, I really love this girl, she is my world. I don't want to loose her but I think I might.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend told me she doesn't feel a connection anymore but still loves me. She's unsure what to do. I'm lost. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend (f/30) of 2 years told me (m/34) that we're on a break, out of nowhere.
POST: throwaway for privacy reasons. If you really need to know who I am, then DM me.
Here's the setup: there was none. Asked for clarity, got none. Asked for a reason, got none. Asked for a timeline, got none.
I'm not here to poison the proverbial well or skew anyone's viewpoint about whose fault this is, as no one can truly be objective about a situation without knowing 100% of the story. Otherwise, we're just template matching from experiences.
All I know was that this afternoon we were fine and joking around, and tonight? We're on hold until I'm told otherwise.
As for my action in the situation, I didn't put up a fight, I respected her wishes... I only said that if we're on a break, then I don't want any contact until she has made up her mind in a more concrete way.
Am I doing the right thing, reddit? How could I have handled it better?
TL;DR: | Was told she wanted a break out of the blue. No clue why. Did not see it telegraphed by myself or her. I am/was very committed to our relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[22M] Sisters[40F] House burned down last night...so much for christmas..
POST: On the morning of the 22nd of December the house of my sister caught on fire by a accident, the damage is estimated to 100'000.- CHF
Thank god nothing happened to her and her family.
The year has been really tough..our father is barely clinging to his live, she visits him everyday and takes care of him, so he doesn't have to go to a retirement home. We are having financial problems and just so much shit is going on...
She lost everything, nevermind the electronics, all her memories of our grandparents got wiped out by a vicious fire, caused by a stupid smokingpipe. It breaks my heart that she and her family are homeless now and that the last christmas with my father is ruined for them.
I can't visit them because of the lack of financials, and I can barely keep my own head over the water at the moment. I really don't know what to do right now..all I could do was to call and check if they are healthy...I kinda feel helpless!
TL;DR: | Sisters house burned down, she lost everything and is now 100'000.- CHF in debt, don't know how to handle this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What was your night you wish you could, but can never forget?
POST: Mine was a patry in which my friend and I got shit faced and decided to climb to the roof, take off our clothes, and jump into the pool. Once we got out, we proceeded to walk around and party, still naked.
Following morning, I wake up in his sisters bed (she wasnt in it) went outside, said good morning to his mother who was making pancakes for breakfast. I gulped down a few, then went outside to help with the clean up. When I got outside, I felt a breeze on my man parts, looked down and sure enough. I had just eaten pancakes at my friends GLASS table with his mother, completely naked. Needless to say, I got my clothes off the roof and hightailed it out of there.
TL;DR: | Got drunk, climbed roof, got naked, jumped in pool, fell asleep, ate breakfast with friends mother having full view of my junk, went outside to assess damage, realized what had happened. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I've never celebrated Valentine's Day with anyone before, & am not sure what is "too much" or "too little". Advice?
POST: While I've (26F) been with someone for Vday in the past, we've never done anything for it; however my current boyfriend (29M) is very special to me and we have plans to get married in a couple years (we've been together almost 1YR), so I want to do something nice for him.
I'm aware that some kind of sweet is usually exchanged for Vday, like chocolate, but what about gifts? I asked a girlfriend for advice, but she said her fiancé has always just bought her gifts himself, while she does nothing, which seems weird to me.
One part of my gift will be making a certain kind of cheesecake & with a special pan I purchased for making it in. The cost of cheesecake materials plus pan will come out around $35, which is fairly pricey for me, but I really wanted to bake him something he loves.
I also purchased a book to go with it, but I've been seeing a lot of things suggesting that gifts aren't really done for Vday. Right now, I'm between cheesecake/card/book or cheesecake/card/activity (to be planned for when the weather improves). Either seems nice to me, but given that I don't know whether Vday gifts usually total $10 or $30 or $100, I wanted advice. Thoughts?
TL;DR: | I've never given gifts for Valentine's Day before, and want to be sure I'm "doing it right". Where does Vday lie on the Christmas-to-random-surprise-from-the-supermarket scale? |
SUBREDDIT: r/cats
TITLE: Questions about catsitting and introducing the cat to my own cats.
POST: Hi guys!
I need some expert cat advice.
My friend's apartment caught fire, nothing much but there was smoke damage and they'll have to stay with the parents for about a week... and the mother is super allergic to cats. So I said I'd do it.
She's this really tiny female, adult but kitten sized.
I have a two cats, Truffles [1yr6m] and Nacho [6months, not neutered yet]. They are very friendly with everyone and are best friends with each other. Introducing Nacho to Truffles was really easy because I had a glass door in my old apartment, so they got to hiss and swat at the glass a few times before meeting directly, but when they did it was instant playing.
My biggest worry is that Nacho is not neutered yet, and he's hitting puberty hard, going crazy! Is there a chance he may try to hump her and they end up fighting?
I don't want this to be any more stressful on them than it has to be. SO I have a spare room that I can keep her in, but Truffles can open ANY door in this apartment and I don't have time to get a lock, she's coming tomorrow morning (It's after 10PM here)
TL;DR: | Please, if you have experience fostering or catsitting, what do you do to introduce the temporary cats and avoid stress for you and them? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [31 M] with my 3 [19/20/31 F's] 4 months, have issues discerning my actions having 3 girlfriends at once.
POST: I'm at a point now where I regularly am seeing three women sometimes two in one day, and I have equal and parallel feelings for all three.
I don't value any one over the other, as they all bring something different to the relationship. Two of them know about each other and are completely cool with it while the third is in the dark and while I've never told her we are exclusive, I've also never told her we aren't either. It's sort of an ambiguous relationship if anything.
My issue at hand really is... after a certain period of time, I'm fairly convinced that I'm going to have to choose one to focus on primarily and possibly stop seeing the other two. I can't do this though. As I've said my feelings for all three are genuine and not just booty calls, and I don't want/like hurting people as that is completely against my nature.
Am I headed down a dark road here if I continue on without changing anything and deepen my relationships with all three? How have any of you that have been in this situation handled it?
TL;DR: | I have 3 women I'm seeing very regularly and I'm worried this is going to end badly at some point once feelings grow deeper among all three. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I get my brother to stop talking politics?
POST: Hey /r/relationships, I have a little boring conundrum.
My brother is 17, and I'm about 4 years older than him. Up until my parents moved back to the US a couple years ago, we had a normal brother-sister relationship. He had no idea about US politics and we had normal conversations.
But now he's in an American high school, and in his AP Gov class, they started talking about politics when he joined. And he learned that, fiscally, he's VERY conservative. He doesn't agree with them socially at all, but he cares more about money than social issues. Meanwhile, I lean more towards moderate/left.
No one else in our family is remotely interested in politics, so he usually waits till I come home from college, or he messages me on facebook, random political links, or videos where Obama looks idiotic, or where someone is so liberal it's apparently funny.
If I ever say something he doesn't agree with, on that spectrum, he always 'accuses' me of being a liberal.
I quickly get tired of this after ten mins, and I would rather not get links from him every day talking about politics. I have told him multiple times that I honestly would just rather talk about something else. I enjoy a healthy debate, but this just gets boring.
What do I do?
TL;DR: | My brother and I are on opposite ends of the political spectrum and keeps trying to debate/talk to me about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25F] with my parents [50s M/F]. Need perspective on communication between child and parent.. (Non-Romantic)
POST: I don't wish to go into loads of details about the problems in my family(parents, me and two sisters (22 and 27)), they are pretty standard I think, but in general we talk a lot and see each other often. All us girls are living on our own, though not too far from parents. Our parents help us a lot and have been great at pushing us to be independant and find our own happiness.
Lately my parents are having some issues.. They seem to be marital problems, but I believe them to be much deeper personal problems they both are having, and constantly recommend therapy and/or couples counseling. This doesn't really interest them much so onto the real issue.
My parents occasionally talk to me about the issues, and I provide my mother comfort sometimes if she is angry or sad and can't muster much besides complaints. I really like that I can be there for her and let her vent and talk. I want to provide comfort and be involved. I also like that my dad shares his side with me sometimes, although I am a little tough on him, because I don't believe he has been the best husband over the years. But I never berate or accuse him, I just try to listen a lot.
The problem is that my father grew up as being leaned on by his mother when she was having issues with his dad. This was when my dad was quite young, and though he adores his mother, he resents parents who lean on their kids for support. Now I understand this, but I think it should only apply to young or immature children, or kids who have too many of their own problems. I feel like I can easily be there for them as they are there for me now.. Is this unrealistic? Should parents hide their marriage and personal problems from the kids to shield them of guilt/worry? I do worry about them, but I don't feel like I shouldn't be concerned and involved in their lives this way.. I love them and only want them to be happy.. I am sad my mother tells me she doesn't want to worry me and apologizes for telling me her troubles..
TL;DR: | My parents share their problems with me and my mother seeks comfort and support from me sometimes, is this wrong? Should parents not involve their grown up children in their problems and rely on them for support? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Interview on Monday and could use some advice.
POST: I'm fairly new to Reddit and I've heard you guys make miracles happen so here I am. I also apologize for a long post. First, some of my background: I graduated in December with a Master of Science. I got a job near my hometown and realized quickly it wasn't for me (for various reasons). However, I was going to stay at that job - that is, until they fired me. Their reasons were that I wasn't "a good fit for their clinic" and they let me go four days before my evaluation period was up. They also hired two people when they only had one position open so I think money also had something to do with it but they didn't say that. That was a little over a month ago.
Now, I am enrolled at the local community college to start a program that I am very interested in and have been for a while. I definitely think it's more what I would like to do plus it's in human medicine which means more jobs available and more money. I have an interview on Monday for a position in which I am not terribly interested in but not totally against. I'm really just indifferent. I just really, really need the job but I would have to drop out of school which is fine with me as long as I enjoy it. So my question is: what can I say to them that will convince them I am the right person for the job when I'm really just desperate for something? I wouldn't even use this job as a placeholder as long as I enjoy it and it pays the bills.
TL;DR: | I have a job interview on Monday for a position I am indifferent about but I need it badly. How do I convince them I'm the best person for the job? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: 21/f/5'7/~170lbs... Help with poor eating habits and getting back on track!
POST: Hello loseit,
I've lurked here for a while and I'm finally deciding to post (on a throwaway as many of my IRL friends know my normal account). As the title suggests, I am a 21 year old female weighing in at about 170 pounds, perhaps slightly more. At my heaviest (around January 2012), I weighed roughly 205 pounds. Last summer I did a lot of walking because I took the bus to my job and I didn't eat much because I had no money. This caused me to unintentionally drop about 20 pounds. When I went back to college in the fall and realized how much weight I'd lost, I began to actually try to keep a healthy lifestyle which led to another roughly 20 pound drop in weight. My goal weight is around 145/150, but I'm not too picky about numbers.
Unfortunately this second weight drop was not a result of healthy eating habits but instead a very restrictive (calorie-wise) diet and some mild exercise. I am studying abroad this semester and while I still walk a decent amount and do some situp/pushup type exercises in my room, my diet has gotten continuously worse and I have put on about 10 pounds. I'm starting to get scared that I am losing control and before I know it will be 200 pounds and unhappy again.
More about my eating habits.. I have a tendency to basically starve myself during the day (might eat a small sandwich with a cup of coffee, some snacks here and there) and then binge terribly late at night on what is usually crap food. This is partially due to my marijuana use, but I have had a propensity to binge eat since I was much younger. I also drink maybe 2-3 drinks 3-4 times a week on average.
I guess a fairly obvious solution to my problem is to eat more during the day, but my schedule varies so much and often changes unexpectedly so it is really hard for me to get on a regular eating schedule. Additionally, I have not found that eating properly during the day always diminishes my urge to eat at night, particularly if I smoke. This just fucks with my eating schedule and leaves me with no appetite during the day.
TL;DR: | I dropped a bunch of weight but my late-night binges and relatively inactive lifestyle are pulling me in the other direction. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My mom's [53f] best friend [45f] is forbidden from speaking to her, what can I [18m] do?
POST: My mom's best friend [45f] will not speak with my mom [53f], and has even requested that she move away from their street (they're neighbors). Before I get into the ordeal, I should say our families are much different; they operate in what is similar to a 1950's household and are extremely religious. Our house on the other hand, is much more alternative (my parents are fine with us smoking, going out, etc).
The whole issue started when my dad, after a fight with my mom, told her (my mom's best friend) husband about my mom's past history of drug use (it happened 35 years ago) and how he didn't approve of her parenting methods. Her husband is now completely ignoring my mom and forbid my mom's best friend from speaking with her. My mom is extremely hurt, and told me today she feels "dirty and vile." My mom's best friend already knew most of what her husband had been told, but she is obedient to her husband and will not speak to her.
I absolutely can't stand to see my mom is this kind of pain. The drug incident happened 35 years ago, my mom turned her life around after it happened and now has a very successful career in the sciences. It seems very asinine for something like this to separate best friends of five years.
I [18m] was thinking about talking to my mom's best friend and her husband to tell them that my mom feels extremely lonely and hurt. I mean, we live across the street from eachother, I'm not sure how long they can just ignore us. My mom sent over flowers but it doesn't seem her husband is willing to budge on the issue. My parents are also having relationship issues so she needs a best friend now more than ever.
TL;DR: | My mom's best friend is forbidden from speaking to her by order of her husband due to my mom's previous drug history. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [15/gay/m] Just had a weird dream about kissing this kid I run cross country with (even though I dislike him as a person) and I'm worried the dream means something?
POST: I know its not about an existing relationship, but this seems like the best place to post.
Long story short, I run cross country, and theres this really annoying kid (lets call him justin since thats his name) who does nothing but start arguments, make fun of people, and fuel existing arguments throughout all the practices, but since hes our fastest runner and hes only a junior, hes kinda popular on the team. Im in varsity too, so I talk to him a good amount (theres only 7 varsity runners), and he pisses me the fuck off like crazy, but last night I had a dream where we were in a relationship and we were kissing and stuff and i woke up like 'what the fuck?!?!'. NOTE - im gay, he knows this, and while he isnt homophobic, he makes gay jokes all the time and calls people (not me though) fags and stuff (he makes fun of jews and white people too since hes the token black kid and he thinks that means he can be racist). anyways, why did i have this dream? i really hope i dont have a crush on him and im kinda worried because it didnt really feel strange or anything in the dream??? has anyone dealt with something like this before that can help me? thanks in advance
TL;DR: | theres a really annoying kid on my cross country team and i had a dream that we were like in a relationship or something and we kissed in the dream and im worried that it means something <:( please help! |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: (m/20) I'm starting to have feelings for a long time friend (13 yrs) (f/20) and not sure if she's trying to give me a hint about it or I'm reading into it too much
POST: We have been next door neighbors in a semi- backwoods area for 14 years and are both now in different colleges, we became friends a year after I moved into my house. We were always tight friends but we talked a lot less since leaving for college. We've always talked each other through the other ones problems.
Both of us just got out of long term (2 year) relationships (mine ended 3 months ago and hers ended a month ago) and I was in a weird place for a while and started having feelings for her but decided that it was just because I was messed up after my break up. The feelings haven't gone away and we've started hanging out every day for the past couple weeks.
She just got an apartment and I have drank then slept over twice now, both times she wanted me to sleep in her room (on the floor). First time I thought it was just a comfort thing, she's never lived on her own and she was pretty scared, but she's slept on her own there now and asked me too again.
We've always been pretty comfortable talking about anything and all our friends have always said that we were going to end up getting married but we always laughed it off because we didn't really think of each other that way. Now I'm starting to and it's a little weird for me.
She has started talking a lot about sex around me and how horny she is. We have talked about sex before while we were in our relationships but never as much as she is now.
I want to tell her about it but I feel like if I just bring it up and she doesn't feel the same way it might be weird and I would rather stay friends with her than risk the chance of ruining it.
TL;DR: | have feelings for a long time friend and want to find a way to tell her / find out if she feels the same way without ruining our friendship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Can I (F21) name-drop my SO (M21) for an internship?
POST: I had posted to /r/etiquette, but I'm wondering if I will get more responses here.
I know this isn't the smartest idea, but I wanted an opinion if this is completely unprofessional and unheard of.
My SO (M21) Dan and I are both college students majoring in completely different fields. I have secured an internship for the upcoming summer. He also applied to that same company but for a very separate department due to our differing majors. He never heard back, but it's been over a month since he applied.
I had been in contact with one of the future interns, and she told me that she notified the company she was retracting her offer acceptance to work with another company. Her position is in the field that Dan is studying.
Could I email my recruiter and professionally let her know "hey, I know that someone dropped an internship position late in the game, if you're looking to quickly fill the position opening my SO is interested and capable?" I would not serve as his reference or attest to his ability - just simply letting my recruiter know of his interest as a candidate and that he would act quickly. I would also state that he is my SO to be completely transparent and upfront of my bias.
My recruiter is not someone I'll be working under for the summer, and my SO and I would be working in completely different departments, so I'm wondering if this is okay - or if my recruiter would be appalled and that would hurt me down the line. I haven't actually started interning there, so I don't know if it's in my right to suggest anyone or name-drop.
TL;DR: | There's an internship opening for the company I will be interning at this upcoming summer in a different department. I'm wondering if I can name-drop my boyfriend to my recruiter in an email. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Cooking
TITLE: Wine vs. vinegar: Am I missing out on anything?
POST: Practicing Mormon here. We don't drink alcohol in our house, but I'm contemplating buying some wine and/or sherry for cooking.
I've made do by using various vinegars (balsamic, pino grigio, champagne, red, white, etc) along with stock and the flavors have been pretty fantastic. I often make a roasted butterfly chicken with a jus using this method. The jus is currently simmering on the stove with pino grigio vinegar and chicken broth and I've made it successfully with balsamic, too.
I'm wondering: is the additional flavor profile from wine or other alcohols worth the purchase? I don't have a very distinctive palette (I used to taste new wines when I worked as a server and I couldn't tell an $20 bottle from a $50 bottle. It all tastes like...wine).
(Religious tangent, for those curious: the Word of Wisdom (the revelation from which Mormon dietary "no-no's originate) says "strong drinks are not for the belly" but I've felt comfortable cooking and using tinctures like extracts or cough syrup, so why not other alcohols in cooking? I'd argue that once it's cooked and incorporated into a recipe, it no longer qualifies as "strong drink." It's a widely interpreted revelation among Mormons anyway, so among Mormons you know IRL, YMMV).
I want to venture into more French recipes like Coq a Vin or Beef Burgundy. Should I just buy wine already?
TL;DR: | Haven't used alcohol in cooking because of religious reasons. Am I missing out on important flavor profiles that can't be replicated? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by forgetting I left my car a few miles from my house last night.
POST: I went to go to work this morning, and my car was nowhere to be seen. I checked and double checked the front parking lot and the back parking lot, but nothing. I called my boyfriend, no answer. It was a half an hour til I needed to be at work. I called off in tears because "my car is missing." My boss sounded like he didn't believe a word of what I was saying.
After crying to myself and having a bit of hysteria, I retraced my steps again and realized I came home in my boyfriends car last night and my car is still parked in front of a realtor's office, because we met there and then drove together and just forgot to go back and get it last night.
TL;DR: | Forgot my car last night, my boss either doesn't believe me or thinks I'm that much of a mess that I can lose a car. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by simultaneously turning off every computer in a computers class.
POST: Never thought I would be posting a TIFU but I guess that time has come. I was in web development class, coding and stuff, when I noticed that my phone was running low on battery. Luckily I had planned for this moment by bringing my charger! This is where the fuck up begins.
I looked for a place to plug in my phone, and noticed one under my desk. It was one of those ones that has multiple outlets on it and has a wire that has to be plugged in somewhere else. It was really cramped with one open outlet and I have a really thick power brick, so when I attempted to plug it in, I happened to hit the little power switch on the side somehow.. Next thing I know EVERYBODY IS FREAKING OUT. Their computers all turned off and nobody knew why. PEOPLE WERE WORKING ON UNSAVED DOCUMENTS!!! The damn thing I plugged my phone into was being powered by the one next to it, and it was powering the one on the other side, and so on. Turning off mine cut all the power to every bit of electronic equipment in the room.
As soon as this happened, everyone tried to locate the source of the power cut. I was still under the desk fumbling around with the whole complicated thing and accidentally unplugging more things. Soon enough everyone knew and I'm pretty sure my teacher and the students all hate me now.
TL;DR: | Tried to plug in my phone during a high school computers class; ended up unplugging everything else in the room. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Fuck Time Warner! But thanks for the discount.
POST: I am a subscriber to Time Warner for their broadband service. I recently upgraded my 7 Mb/s service to their 12 Mb/s over their online customer service. This was supposed to increase my monthly bill from $47 to $57. I had ran some various speed checks before I upgraded and retested after the upgrade had occurred. There was absolutely no difference in the speed. I was a little annoyed by this, but figured I give it a try for a month.
Fast-forward to yesterday and I receive my monthly bill for over $85. Seems they added "unreturned equipment fee". I call customer-service immediately. The a rep answers and says, "Yeah, I don't know why there. Oh, I see. I guess one of guys came and gave you a new modem and you didn't return the old one." Looking over at my modem to see it's the original and nothing has changed, I respond, "If your guys came and got my old modem, I am going to have to call the police for breaking into my apartment." The rep says, that it's probably a mistake and he would take the charge off. He puts me on hold for about 10 minutes and then hangs up on me.
Irate and hungry, I made dinner. I called back after my delicious meal and explained the situation to the new rep. She explains to me that it is a mistake and that she have taken care of. Being upset, I interject that she better take care of the mistake because between the last guy hanging up on me after telling my apartment was broken in to and the internet speed not changing after upgrading or I'll have to disconnect my service with Time Warner. I also reminded her that I wanted some sort of notification of the charge being taken off the bill, as she was unable to do so right then.
Amy, the rep, promised to call me back the next night.
Oh, Amy! The love of my life, the fire of loins. She explained to me that she was sorry for happened and that I would be getting a new modem on Saturday and that my new monthly bill with the 12 Mb/s upgrade would be $40.
I don't know how I should feel about this.
TL;DR: | Crazy internet bill. Customer rep said my apartment was broken into. Amy called back. Now have 12 Mb/s for $40 a month vs my old 7 Mb/s for $47 |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Adding my Mom as an Authorized User?
POST: Hey /r/personalfinance!
I'm a 19 year old guy who is just starting to build his credit history. I recently acquired a DiscoverIT card with a $1,500 limit after 6 months of putting up with a First Financial Bank card. I use my cards responsibly and pay the balance off in full each month, and my credit score is beginning to reflect that.
After a financially-messy divorce, my mom doesn't have very good credit. She now lives within her means and pays for everything in cash, owns her car, rents our apartment, uses her debit card for everything, etc. Because of this, she has a very low credit score. I had the idea of adding her as an authorized user on my Discover card and then cutting up the card, so that my on-time payments and favorable credit utilization rates would be reported to the credit agencies for her as well. My only concern is if it would affect my score in any way. Like I said, I would keep her card so I wouldn't have to worry about her spending anything, but besides that are there any unforeseen disadvantages to helping her out?
TL;DR: | Will adding my mom as an authorized user (and then cutting up the card) have any adverse effects for me or my credit score? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: I sent money out of state to a guy for his Sasquatch Music Festival wristband, and he never sent it. [WA]
POST: I HAVE BEEN RIPPED OFF. I made a huge mistake trying to buy a wristband for Sasquatch from a guy that responded to my Craigslist ad. He lives in Missouri and he offered me a good deal and told me that he can ship it with FedEx over night, and that I would have it by 10am the next day. Everything in his story was so believable. The biggest mistake that I made during this whole transaction was that I didn't use PayPal, the only reason being that it takes too long to get into his bank account. So we used an alternate method called money gram, where you go to customer service in a Walmart store and fill out a form and they send the money, then they give you a reference number so at the other end they can receive it. The plan was to make this transaction at the same time that he shipped the wristband. He told me that his girlfriend was waiting at FedEx until I sent the money. So, as I got in my car outside of Walmart, I sent the guy the reference number along with a picture of the receipt as proof that I actually sent money. After that, I never heard back from him, and hours later I started to realise that I have no proof whatsoever that this guy was sending me a package. I didn't get a package in the morning, called FedEx, called and texted the guy multiple times. I went back to Walmart the next day to see if there was any way I could cancel the payment. Since he had already picked up the money, there was nothing that they could do about it. So I pretty much just fucked myself over. Lost all of that money, plus I'm not going to be able to go to Sasquatch this year. I am such an idiot. Please don't make the same mistake that I did, you can never be too safe.
TL;DR: | Sent money to a guy from out of town for a wristband, he took my money and never sent the wristband. Therfore, I am broke and missing Sasquatch. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Is moving out on your own worth being a little broke? I'm trying to rediscover myself this year
POST: I just recently graduated from college (21 years old) and after a really bad breakup from the love of my life at the beginning of the summer, I am trying to start fresh and rediscover who I am and get a fresh start. I found an apartment I love and it's pricey but it's also in the middle of the city and my dream apartment. I can work my butt off and afford this, although it's also perhaps a bit irresponsible because I will not be putting much aside for savings for the future. I have never done anything truely for myself like this. My parents don't approve because I am so young and they think I am stretching myself. However, I want to dedicate this year to my job waitressing, meeting people, and finding me.. even if it does mean being a little broke. I'm wondering, does this sound rediculous? I'm losing sleep over if I'm making a huge mistake and taking on this huge responsibility!
TL;DR: | Is it worth it to move out but be broke? Parents think it's a bad idea but I think it will help me rediscover myself after a breakup |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Target really fucked me over and now I am not paying my bill until they give me the receipt I need to not be fucked over.
POST: Long story short, I bought a 60" TV locally from target over a year ago. The salesmen convinced me to get a target red card AND the insurance. I have worked retail and am aware how much of a scam extra warranties are, but I stand by my decision. I paid off the balance immediately.
4 months after I bought the TV, it started to get a huge black spot roughly 10" by 10". I call up the target warranty place and they inform me that I NEED my warranty information in order to use the warranty. The information is on the receipt, something I threw away immediately because the sales associate told me that my warranty information will be on the target card I JUST got. After 20 phone calls and trips to target, they pretty much tell they can't help me. Target only keeps receipts for 90 days. This is absolutely unbelievable to me. That was unacceptable in the year 2000, and this happened in 2014.
I used the red card one other time for ~250-300$ worth of home necessities. When I got my bill, I realized that I physically can't make myself pay them because of how shitty they treated me, so I just didn't pay it. That was over a year ago.
So here we are, ~18 months since I purchased the TV. They have called me every day for the last year trying to collect the debt, and about once a week I answer the call and explain my whole situation. They always put me on hold for 5-15 minutes trying to help, then come back saying its just the way it is, please pay us. I always refuse and say that if you get me my receipt, I will pay up AND give you 200$ tip. I say this to make them realize that me not paying has nothing to do with a lack of funds, and more because of spite.
I realize this has already fucked up my credit and I really don't care. The only thing that matters to me at this point is that target gives me my receipt. I will get it if its the last thing I do.
So my question is this: Other than going to court, how do I not get fucked over at the end of this fiasco?
TL;DR: | Target fucked me over and now I am stupidly not paying my target bill as a way to force target to give me my receipt. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18M] have never been significantly attached in a relationship, and I don't know whether or not to break up with my girlfriend [16F].
POST: As the title states, I'm having a lot of trouble developing intimacy in relationships. I've never really "fallen" for anyone before. Despite this fact, I've had a few long-term relationships (the longest being 9 months), but I was never fulfilled in any of them. After the initial spark of interest, seeing my SO became a chore for me. I'm not trying to say that I'm some emotionless shell of man, but I have never been able to fully reciprocate feelings in a relationship.
Okay, okay, I know I'm probably being melodramatic about this. I'm a kid--I'm only a senior in High School. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried. What am I supposed to do? Am I broken or something? I'm in a relationship now with a great girl. I'm totally attracted to her and she has a fantastic personality, but I always get bored if we hang out more than once or twice a week. I'd much rather do homework, play videogames: anything. I try to accommodate to her wishes and see her at about an average of three times a week, but it's clear to both of us that it's a strain for me. Lately I've been making up pretty bullshit excuses to get out of seeing her, and I feel pretty bad about the whole situation.
I guess I mostly just wrote this post for a sense of perspective from other posters on this board. All my guy friends who are in relationships seem to really love (or love as much as a high schooler can, I guess) their girlfriends, and for the life of me I just can't relate. Is this a typical thing for teenage guys to go through? Am I not seeing the right girls? And what the hell am I supposed to tell my girlfriend? I kind of just want to break up with her, but I can't tell if that would be an immature, premature move on my part. I tried going to my friends about it, but they just laughed it off. Any advice?
TL;DR: | high school kid has never really liked a girl, doesn't know whether to break up with gf and wait for "the one" or address the issue now |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (22M) know for a literal fact that my girlfriend (21F) is not being 100% honest when it comes to infidelity.
POST: We have been having a rougher time of things as of late. Our sex life has been average, that is to say nothing not normal for us. Good. Dating for 2 1/2 years next week. And so I get into my story.
So she has this new job. I was super excited about it for her. Good pay, good company, she likes the hours. Win for all. However they have workplace comraderie nights. About a month ago she has one. Meets up with some workers for drinks, at one of the male employees' houses (we'll call him Ted and my girlfriend Jen). They apparently played monopoly for hours and drank. I personally don't find drinking with a bunch of people I've known three days fun but she wanted to go so I didn't really think too much.
The other day I ended up looking through her phone. Its against everything I stand for and it makes me sick. I regret it. But I did. And I found out that night she almost fucked one of the guys. Not sure if it was Ted or his friend Adam, it wasn't specified. And I also found a text conversation between Ted and my girlfriend that was about a Marvel vs Capcom "bet" that was extremely flirty, where in said text she basically asks him what it is he "wants" and says she can give him things that would "excite" him. I almost went through the fucking roof. Her biggest things are lying by omission and infidelity, and though my methods were shit, I now know for a fact that she's been doing plenty of either. I clarify as well, we've classified even flirting with members of the opposite sex as being untrue, not just physical activity. Which truthfully I also know by her own admission shed done previously.
I don't know what to do guys. I feel so fucking sick I could die. Part of me wants to see this nightmare out, and the other half wants me to wake her out of her sleep and tell her I'm moving the fuck out. Any advice?
TL;DR: | My girlfriend cheats and almost hooks up with her coworker(s?) And I really have no idea what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: You never finished high school. YOU won't apply to a different job where you're at least getting more than 25 hours at a minimum wage job. Stop making me feel bad for having a better job than you.
POST: You didn't finish high school. My dad works 30ish hours a week delivering auto parts. You work at a dollar store 25 hours a week when you're not calling out. You make no effort to get second jobs, or finding jobs with better hours.
I'm 23, and have been working the same job since I was 16. I started at $7.50 and have worked my way up to $11 an hour. I worked my ass off to get insurance at 18 when I was kicked off of their state insurance. I have a 401k, benefits, ESOP, 2 weeks vacation a year, etc. But I WORKED for it. I rarely call out, and if I do, I switch shifts with someone else so I keep my hours.
It never fails that when I go to your house, some comment is made about me having a better job. Like just now, I had just agreed to pick up my 6th day for this week working overnight. This would put my hours at 50 for the week. When my boss messaged me saying I wasn't needed, I said "oh well, I'm already scheduled overtime this week anyway." The comment "Must be nice, that's better than what we're getting. I wish my job would schedule me overtime."
YOU MAKE NO EFFORT TO GET A BETTER JOB. You complain about your double shifts (9-4). Work 18 hours from 2pm to 8am then talk to me. Don't try and make me feel bad for your laziness. Just stop it.
TL;DR: | My dad and his wife always make comments about me having a better job then them. It's amazing what hard work can get you. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [19M] girlfriend [18F] of 3 years is experiencing emotional disconnection, and it feels like there's nothing I can do.
POST: My girlfriend and I started dating in high school. Now, I'm in my first year of university, while she's still in her senior year of high school. For me, things were never better. I loved her more than ever, and found that I was much more appreciative of what I had with her. I fully intend to go the distance with her.
However, earlier this week she admitted that she feels disconnected. She told me that she feels unloved and that the spark is no longer there. She did admit that it is largely due to our schedules not lining up to spend time together like we used to.
I, on the other hand, thought things were great. I personally think that it's a matter of perspective. Being the one in uni, I am able to rationalize that our schedules won't line up well all the time, and that's okay. We're at a stage in our relationship where we can be mature and independent. This independence is new to her, and it's proving to be a shock. I think that once she reaches university, she'll realize that it was all in her head.
The only issue is that I'm deathly afraid that she won't make it to next year with me. I'm terrified that she'll get fed up and think it's time to move on.
For context:
* We live in the same town
* I go to uni 20 minutes from said town
* She will attend the same uni as me in a year
* She struggles with depression and anxiety (as do I, but to a lesser degree), and has an appointment with a doctor next week to talk about it.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend isn't sure if the relationship will work with me in uni and her in high school, I don't want to lose her |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18 M] need help getting over feelings for my [18 F] friend of a year.
POST: So I met this girl through mutual friends when college started (we're both Freshmen) and we clicked immediately. I got her FB and her number and we just started having a conversation, which at some points was kind of deep in the sense that we got to know each other really quick.
Anyways, fast forward a quarter (10 weeks) and I have feelings for this girl, but she had stated she was only interested in serious relationships and would date only certain ethnicity, which I was distraught and confused by but whatever, that can't be changed or helped, so I accepted the fact that we'd just be friends as we did get along really well.
She always makes it a point to not bring up other guys she's interested in or dating (she said she goes on 3 or 4 dates with different guys every month), but when she does mention it I get jealous and I know that's not necessarily the best thing as she's stated multiple times I'm not her preference.
It really kills me because last night we went to a party (it was her first time) and I was her DD. When driving her home last night, she mentioned she ran into a former friend of hers that she said she was extremely close to. According to her, he confessed that he was interested in her and she said that made her lose interest in their friendship all together and she completely ignored him afterward. I really don't want that to happen, but these feelings are really annoying me now.
She also makes it a point to say I'm her 'favorite' and that I'm so sweet, and how I view/judge her means a lot to her and that just hurts even more because I don't know why she makes it a point to say that, it just evokes feelings that really aren't pleasant.
What really affects me is that jealousy/loneliness/longing feeling to be with her. I know we'd make a good couple but I KNOW that bringing up the fact that I feel this way will cause a bigger problem/ I might lose a friendship. What do I do?
TL;DR: | Have feelings for a friend which are going un- reciprocated, have no idea how to shake them or even view the situation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, can you either screw-up or benefit your child by "correcting" them toward right-handed dominance?
POST: Aside from the philosophical argument that you shouldn't correct a child from being left-handed because there's nothing wrong with it, can you screw up your child?
My daughter is just over 1 and while I never gave a 2nd thought to what appears to be left-hand dominance, I caught my parents "correcting" her, by moving objects from one hand to the other or only handing her things to her right hand.
I admit that being right handed is an easier path, just because of how our writing system is set up and the default setup for everything is geared towards righties. But I hear anecdotal claims that it screws up your left/right brain communication, can make it harder to talk, can give you poor dexterity and penmanship, etc. -- However, never any evidence to support the claims.
TL;DR: | Daughter seems to be growing up left-handed. Grandparents are trying to force her to be a righty. Bad? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I "break up" with my best friend?
POST: Me: 20f
Friend: 20f
We've known each other for about 7 years.
So I feel that my friend and I need to go our separate ways. I've known her since 8th grade. We've been best friends all throughout high school and most of college. Ever since she's started college, she's really changed and I have as well. She started smoking, occasionally doing drugs, going out partying, etc. She's SOOOOOO concerned with keeping people around her at all times. I think she has self-esteem issues personally. And she's also EXTREMELY self-centered. Any conversation, it's mainly about her. I barely get a word in about anything concerning my life.
I'm like the complete opposite. I never go out and party, smoke, do drugs, etc. I don't have time. I've tried talking to her about this, but I knew nothing was going to change. I've pretty much stopped talking to her. I don't answer her texts, Facebook comments, messages, etc. I want to tell her face-to-face that I think we're going in different directions, but I don't really know how to break it to her. She's the type that will flip out and cry. I don't feeling like dealing with that shit.
Sometimes I feel like I'm being a bitch, but I don't know what else to do. Please feel free to ask questions. Also, not sure if I should put this is /r/BreakUps. I might cross post.
TL;DR: | Best friend and I are becoming two different people and going in two separate directions. How do I tell her I don't want to be friends with her anymore? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Question about owing additional taxes/I'm an idiot
POST: Hello all,
Story:
I played around with some stocks a few years back buying and selling like I knew what I was doing.
Flash forward to November 2013.
I received a letter from the IRS saying that I owed on the profits from my little venture into trading.
The year before I had gotten a similar letter. TD Ameritrade, the site I use to trade, sent the records of my sells (appropriately). I didnt do it myself because I'm a silly child. So when I got the letter I did a bit of research and realized I just needed to send the records of my buys (which were roughly the same amount, and that would take care of it.
So when I got the new letter in 2013, I thought: "stupid IRS, they're sending me a letter for the same thing" and ignored it at first. Then when I got another letter, I sent my previous letter and the info attached to that to them.
They sent another letter asking for the money. I just assumed the bureaucracy was slow catching up to the truth, but that letter was for the following year and (confusingly) the same amount. I went back to my records and verified, I did sell the exact same amount.(but my buys were roughly the same as well)
At this point its been months and months. From what I've gathered, once it reaches this point, the IRS hands it off to one of other departments (minilove I assume).
Does anyone know how I should go about handling a correction? Its a significant amount of money for me, and I know they're going to withhold it from my next tax refund.
I know, I'm grossly irresponsible. I currently work 60 + hours a week, and find it hard to do grown up things, rather than hang out with my family in my free time. I'll change, I promise.
TL;DR: | Basically. I bought 100$ worth of stock A in 2010, sold it later in the year for 100$ - that generated the first letter from the IRS which I took care of by reporting the initial Buys. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Okay loseit, I think I need some assistence.
POST: For the past two months I've been training for my 5k. I've accomplished that goal and found a new love for running! Whch is great, but I haven't lost any weight really, maybe toned up a little not not much weight at all. I'm at the point now where I want to lose weight so I can run better...
As a poor college student I've been living off panera bread sandwiches and subs, which I guess could be worse... But never the less I need to fix my diet! Right now I'm trying to do protein shakes, fruits and nuts for two meals a day. But my final meal of the day (typically lunch) tends to be high in carbs and fat. What are your favorite EASY meals to eat at home and to eat out? And I LOVE Korean food, anyone have any recommendations in that department? (its that damned white rice that gets me every time...)
TL;DR: | EASY meal ideas for at home and eating out (I do not have access to a stove or oven in my current residence, long story...) |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I lost my cat a decade ago to a pitbull fighter and busted him. What kind of people have you put in jail?
POST: This was about ten years ago, when I was six. We had a habit of naming our pets after Disney animals. One cat, lovingly named Tigger, was on his normal habit, we watched him go outside, hunt some bluebirds to munch on. After a while, we went inside, allowing him to do his own thing. Normally, when he hunts, he comes back soon. We walk outside later, and hear our neighbor's pitbulls barking, and hear a cat screech. Scared, me and my brother ran to his house, we sneaked into the backyard, mortified by what we saw; A cage made out of fence, with a roof, and our cat in the interior of the cage, dead, its flesh being ripped out by a pitbull. My brother ran to our house to get the video camera and recorded this being done to other cats we promptly run back to the house, with the camera, and promptly call the police. The asshole got 40 years in jail (He was 55 years old). Our other cat, named simba, died of old age last year.
TL;DR: | Cat went missing, heard cat screech and dogs bark, ran over, record the dogs with camera, busted a pitbull fighter for 40 years |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My BF [26/M] gets a little physical with me [20/F] during arguments
POST: hi all, so yeah as title reads my bf (of two years) has a habit of getting physical with me during arguments (including petty ones) - and by physical i mean he physically restrains me from leaving the room to get some air/space. his means of restraining me are not gentle; he generally forcibly grabs me, throws me on the bed/ground and places all his weight on top of me whilst squeezing me to the point of near-suffocation so that i can't talk. i am a 46 kg (100 lbs) girl and he is a 6'3 guy double my size so it hurts and makes me very uncomfortable. but regardless of how i feel i'm unsure if i'm overreacting.
i guess what he does doesn't really fall into the realm of 'abuse' i suppose. to be honest i feel really uncomfortable just writing this anonymously to a forum of strangers, idk why, maybe because i don't know if i'm just overreacting. i'm not sure how i should feel about his actions and am very confused. he tells me that anyone would act as he does in his situation. but i never ever come at him, threaten or hit him or anything first. all i do is get up and make maybe two steps towards the door and he's got me. please advise me honestly as to whether this is normal in relationships, i'm very confused
TL;DR: | bf physically restrains me in a not-so gentle manner whenever we have an argument; is this normal y/no |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: should i visit her or not? difficult situation in LDR
POST: Hey guys,
My gf (19) is in africa for 10 month, 8 remaining and i (19/m) am in germany. I have the opportunity to visit her in april for 2 weeks together with her parents. My gf often tells me that it is very different and complicated over there, we could not be alone in a room together or kiss each other when i would live at her place (a church with many nuns) but we would be able to kiss when we travel around.
She describes it like she would not advise me to come despite of the costs and the trouble. And the longer i think about it the more uncertain i get. What if we need a lot of time to get used to each others again but have these handicaps? What if we have fights because of this and i have to leave then? I know i only see the negative aspect and it could be so wonderful to travel through africa with her.
But Would it be better to wait until she comes back in july to take as much time and intimacy as we need to get used to each other again?
I really dont know what the right decision is, please help me with your opinion.thanks so much!
TL;DR: | my gf is in africa for a gap year and i dont know whether to visit her or not, because we could not kiss or be together very often because of cultural differences. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I found my dad on Facebook, who doesn't know I exist.. I dont know what to do?
POST: So I was the result of a "one night stand". My mother's favourite mistake, to put it nicely. I spent most of my childhood just thinking I didn't have a daddy, and was born out of thin air. I only found out more information about my dad last year when my mum told me his name, and the whole backstory on how I was conceived. So, naturally as soon as I found out his name I done a bit of internet searching, and found nothing, and slowly began to forget about it. Roll on nearly a full year and I got a bit curious again, and I ended up finding him on Facebook, along with my 5 brothers and sisters, none of which know i exist. Im really contemplating adding him, and letting him know he has a 19 year old daughter, but I dont imagine that would go down too well seeing as he hasn't heard from my mother since the night they made me. It is also definitely him as I showed my mum and she has confirmed it. Has anyone else went through something similar and what was the reaction of this person finding out they had a daughter/son they didn't know about? I'm afraid of rejection, even though technically I have nothing to lose.
TL;DR: | I have found my father who doesn't know I exist, should I let him know risking rejection, or just leave it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge
TITLE: Goof around and I'll get you in trouble without you knowing.
POST: I work at a private high school, in maintenance. This private school has a fairly strict uniform policy; school color polo with school logo, Khaki pants, Khaki skirts for the ladies, and natural color leather shoes.
So, one day, I went to a store fairly close to the school, shopping for myself before my shift starts in a few hours. As I'm walking up to checkout, I see these two jackass boys, wearing the schools uniform, riding in store provided mobility scooters through the busy aisle between checkout and the sales floor. It pisses me off to see idiots jack around on those while a grandma is using a Walker to get around the store. The kids don't recognize me, and after I just stare at them, extremely pissed off, they pass me and start busting out laughing. I had half a mind to drag them to the side and scold them. But, I thought of something even better.
I text the Academic Dean of the school, explaining what I had just seen.
Later that day at work, I, having the keys to everywhere, looked through the student schedules. I found out that there were all of 5 students who didn't have class at the time of the incident. One was a girl, two were boys who I knew, and the other two were boys. I looked in the yearbook and confirmed that they were the culprits. I informed the Dean of who the kids were, and they got a nice talking to and detentions about goofing around while representing the school. All of this happened without them knowing it was me.
TL;DR: | Kids were hooning in the store, I got them in trouble while they thought they got away scotch free. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (21 f) strongly dislike my sister-in-law (28 f).
POST: It all started a few years ago. My brother knocked her up, and they got married. They didn't know she was pregnant until after the wedding arrangements, supposedly. They frequently came here to his home state, he is in the military and is based elsewhere, and it was all fine and peachy.
We see how much my brother loves her, and how he treats her. But, I honestly think it's getting to her head and it really upsets me. He went on deployment, and she came here by herself. She seemed fine. After that, getting them to come here was like pulling teeth. It was excuse after excuse. Whatever, they're starting their life together.
So, I went on vacation there. I seen how she treats my brother. After a 12 hour shift on watch, he had to unload the dishwasher when he got home because she was too busy all day. And by busy, I mean doing a load of laundry and facebooking. Not my place to say anything, so I just let it happen and continued on.
They fought the next night about who was going to drive home. She hates driving at night, and my brothers seizures came back. So, she yelled at him. That was it. When she took me to the airport I let her have it, I didn't care if I hurt her feelings she was being a bitch.
This past week, my brother has been really sick. She found out her grandma is dying. Today she left my brother to go to her dying grandma.
Should I say something considering he isn't in good shape, and none of my family can take care of him? Or should I just let it pass?
TL;DR: | my sister in law is a spoiled brat, and left my sick brother high and dry to go visit her dying grandma. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Do your job, so I can start mine
POST: I graduated in December with a degree in Nursing. I have passed my NCLEX and I'm supposed to start in July (yay!). My school was helpful enough that they had us all submit our applications for licenses before we graduated so we would be able to take our exams earlier. Some of the required paperwork is being fingerprinted, which get sent to the state and to the national level. Well, I had some issues with being hired earlier, but now I have a set start date and my future employer is concerned I don't have a license number still. This is months after I've graduated and passed... I have been run ragged from trying to chase my states board of nursing and catch the appropriate person to whom to speak. So I finally get a hold of someone and they said I don't have a number because my fingerprints never came through. Odd. I have a receipt proving I was, so I called that local office. Turns out they never sent them, because they lost them. They lost my fingerprints, taken on a machine. How does that even happen? I'm just praying this serious mess up doesn't impact my start date and employment. Thanks for reading.
TL;DR: | gradated, passed exam- waited for months to receive a license. Government lost my fingerprints, hoping they get things accomplished on time |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Finished my third half-marathon. Next one is in late September. Do I spend a few months working on my 5k or 10k times before I switch back to half-marathon training?
POST: I live in Montreal and our marathon event is in late September every year. I've run it for the past two years and just this past week I ran another half-marathon that takes place in April.
My times were:
* 1:42:36 in Sept 2012
* 1:41:33 in Sept 2013
* 1:39:03 in Apr 2014
I would like to get a much faster half-marathon time and would love to break under 1:30. I figured I can switch to 5k or 10k training until mid-June and then switch back to half-marathon training.
My best 5k time I ever recorded was 22:17. I never officially timed msyelf in a 10k but during a training run last year I clocked 44:xx for a 10k. FWIW, I started last week's half quicker than I intended and reached the 5k at a little over 23:xx and 10k at 46:xx.
My idea is to work at either the 5k or 10k training and get better times in both. I would love to get sub-20 for the 5k. Or maybe just stick to half-marathon training?
I use Adidas' miCoach training programs and have been very successful with them.
TL;DR: | Will start training for my next half-marathon in mid-June. In the meantime should I train for a faster 5k, 10k or stick to half-marathon training? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] with my ex girlfriend [17 F] of a few months, broke up with me and started dating my best friend two weeks later
POST: Sorry if this is kind of a rant, but i'm pretty upset. A little back story first, my ex and I are in the same mutual friend group before we started dating along with said best friend. We are all in our third year of high school.
2 weeks ago my girlfriend broke up with me 3 days before my birthday. I was a pretty upset, but I was handling it. One of our mutual friends invited my over her house along with a few other people, so i said sure, why not? It turns out she also invited my ex, but that was fine because we were all still pretty good friends. But, about an hour after I show up my friend and her are holding hand and at one point his hand is in her back pocket which just made me really uncomfortable, so I go home. I talk to him about it the next day and told him how it made me really uncomfortable, but he gets mad and says "You had your chance with her".
I'm pretty upset and I don't know what to do because I don't want to hang out with the two of them together but i'm also afraid of losing my friend and the rest of that group. I just feel really lost and am looking for someone to help me.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend left me for my best friend after 2 weeks and now I feel like i'm losing everybody and need some advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: I am incapable of connecting with adult men. Please help?
POST: I'm a f(19) and, as the title suggests, I basically can't connect with adult males. I'm talking about guys in their late 20s/early 30s and on. I have no problem with guys my age or younger; my brother (17) and I are very close, and I have a wonderful boyfriend (also 17) who I've been dating for a year and a half.
This probably stems from a lack of positive male role models while I was growing up. My dad was an abusive alcoholic who I rarely saw (parents divorced when I was five) and he died when I was 12. His father and 2 of his 3 brothers are also alcoholics. The one that's not an alcoholic travels all over for his job, so I only see him every few years anyway. My maternal grandfather is the only adult male that has always been the epitome of a gentleman, but I didn't seem him more than every few months while I was growing up.
This aversion to men is causing some problems in my life. My mom has been dating a really great guy for a year. He's kind, smart, loving, etc. Though I am friendly with him, I am distant/removed, which is something that he has picked up on and taken as a signal that I don't like him (not true). This has also affected my relationship with my boyfriend because I don't like his dad. His dad can be a fantastic guy, but he also works long hours at a very high-stress job, meaning that he's more prone to yelling and overreacting. This makes me feel on edge and just reinforces why I don't feel comfortable around men. There are so many more example of how my issue with men affects me (professors, tour guides, etc.) but I will leave it for now.
So I turn to you, Reddit, to see if anyone can help me get over this. It's only gotten worse as time goes on, and I don't want to keep on living with this aversion. Any advise or input is appreciated greatly.
TL;DR: | I have a hard time connecting with adult men (age 30+) and it's affecting my life in negative ways. I need advise on how to get over it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I am generally, calm, collected and slightly introverted. I have a close group of around 6 friends, and this is not okay with my Mother.
POST: My Mother is exactly the opposite of me. She is bubbly, talks extremely loud, tries to be friends with everyone and is pushy to the point of being "creepy" when it comes to social matters. I am nothing like this, and my Mother is exceedingly unhappy with this. She insists I entirely alter the very foundations of my personality to be more like her and her side of the family. My Father (by the way, I am a guy), on the other hand, is *just* like me. I want to become a Software Engineer, and she thinks this is a bad idea because I will be using a computer too much, and she thinks I will become a failure because I am an engineer (she holds a huge amount of dislike/contempt for/against all engineers because they are generally not social). So, reddit, how do I tell my mother, **politely**, to fuck the fuck off when she starts the "you should change to be more like me" rant?
TL;DR: | My mother is a ridiculous person with ridiculous ideals and thinks I should change the very fabric of my personality to be like her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (29/F) husband (27/F) told his work buddy the name of our unborn child before we even tell anyone in our families. Do I have a right to be mad, or is it the hormones raging?
POST: He doesn't think it's a big deal that he told his friend the name of our daughter before we've even had a chance to tell our families. We just agreed on it officially earlier today after 5 months of trying to decide. My parents are out of state so they never get to hear news first. Even when we went to our first sonogram appointment, when I was going over my medical information with the nurse, he used that time to send a mass text out to his family about the appointment. It's bad enough that I can't be with my family or friends while I'm pregnant. It makes it worse when everyone gets to know about our child before I get a chance to tell my parents. Should I be angry?
TL;DR: | Husband tells his work friends the name of our unborn child before we tell any of our family. Do I have a right to be mad, or is it the hormones raging? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (22f) friend (21m) of 8 years backed out on donating sperm and I no longer wish to be friends for unrelated reasons.
POST: Alt because he knows my main.
Dan and I became friends in middle school. When I came out as a lesbian he said he would be my donor someday. My wife and I are ready for children. He is scared and changed his mind. We are totally okay with that.
Through his backing out, I realized there were a lot of things I was willing to tolerate from Dan for his sperm. He is racist and sexist and just a jerk in a lot of ways. When he figured out my main username he told me and promised not to go through it. He did anyway and then asked me questions about things I had posted that I didn't wish to discuss with him.
Between the huge breach of trust and the hatred, I see no reason to continue the friendship. I just don't want him to think it's because he backed out.
TL;DR: | sperm donor backed out and turns out to e hateful; don't want him to think I hate him for backing out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] 6 months, help get her to forgive me for lying.
POST: I have been dating my girlfriend for 6 months now and everything was going great until about 6 weeks ago when we started bickering a lot. She has been away for home most of this time and contact from her has been lacking, due to the fact that she works all day and then has to work into the evenings.
I am quite insecure an although I understood this I still struggled with the lack of contact. I have come to terms with her working a lot now but my insecurities at the start lead to a discussion about 'us' where everything was out on the table. I may have said too much and she now doesn't know how to forgive me.
At the start of the relationship she told me how many men she had slept with and it bothered me, played on my mind. At the time I told her that I wasn't bothered because its not her problem but my problem with insecurity. I overcame this a while ago and stopped thinking about it... until I brought up that it used to bother me and now she is angry that I kept it from her and lied at the start.
The only way that relationship will work is if she forgives me and resolutely soon as she says she cant carry on like this. How do I get her to forgive me so that I can work on getting the relationship back on track without her being frustrated at me all the time.
I'm lost on what to do!
TL;DR: | Lied to my girlfriend about being bothered by the number of men she has slept with and now she is angry with me. How do I get her to forgive me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: I decided to try out this theory and it worked, I got called back twice...didn't mention when they'd get back to me or how much would they pay.
POST: And then they said they'd get back to me quickly about the final answer.
I figure they'll get back to me when they do, if they do...so there's no point in really asking it...
I swear those two questions:
When will you get back to me?
and
How much will you pay?
are the two questions that screw me over. This is the only interview I didn't mention those two things and they called me in again. They know all that I have and can do so I hope they offer me a decent pay with the set amount of skills that I have.
I figure they know I won't come back for a minimum wage job. The only way I would accept the minimum wage is if they have decent benefits to go along with it.
Since they're having me do a variety of tasks, I hope they compensate for the pay. That's the only thing I'm uncertain of, how much they're going to offer me.
The other position they offered was for $15/hr, then they called me back in for a different position.
TL;DR: | I hope this is a good sign that I'm going to get hired, especially when they told me of a different position. Has someone ever been called back twice and not been hired? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my GF [24F] of 8 months, still hasn't cut the cord with her ex LTR bf.
POST: I have been dating this girl for a while now and everything is going well except for the fact she still talks to her ex. I am not sure what to make of it. They were separated for about 2 months and then he tried to start getting back with her. I was in the picture at this point and she told me she needed time to think. I wanted a relationship but she turned me down the first time because she was to confused.
So eventually I asked her again this time she said yes and we began being exclusive. however she still finds time to talk with her ex here and there during the week. since we started dating exclusively and said it was just meeting up to chat and what not. She refuses to talk with him on weekend as I have come to learn but will occasionally respond to his requests to hang out on week days. Who is in the wrong here? Is this relationship just a festering pimple ready to pop?
TL;DR: | My gf of 8 months still occasionally hangs out with her ex on week days to catch up. Is this going to hurt our relationship long term? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I stop myself from being paranoid that my long-distance girlfriend is going to break up with me?
POST: Me and my girlfriend (me: 21,M her: 20,F) have been going out for 6 months now, she goes to a uni 2 hours train ride away, and I see her maybe once a week and we have sex maybe one night every two or three weeks.
I think that the relationship is going reasonably well, but I sometimes feel, normally either because she's in a bad mood with me or because we haven't spoken in a while, that she is about to break up with me.
Obviously it hasn't happened yet and I don't feel I've done anything wrong that would mean I deserve to be dumped. But being in a relationship where I don't see my girlfriend often, and where we seem to get into bad moods with each other quite regularly, makes me paranoid about it not lasting.
TL;DR: | I'm looking for advice that will stop me from thinking my girlfriend is about to break up with me (which could be a self-fulfilling prophecy) during the periods of time where I don't see her. Thanks |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: my boyfriend [28/m] is ignoring me for a week after I [24/f] miss a call from him. Been dating 1 1/2 years.
POST: My bf called me last Friday and i had gone to bed early and didnt wake up when it rang. I texted him when i woke up around 530 and told him i was sorry i missed his call and had gone to sleep early. He texted back "not buying it." He has avoided all my calls this week and only texted me twice, once "hi" on tuesday and "yeah i'm ok" after i texted him i was worried about him since he didnt call me back. I know he has trust issues, and im sure he thinks im lying to him about going to bed. (my girlfriend is in town visiting so he probably thinks we went out or something).
I've texted him asking if hes broken up with me, no responce, ive asked him to talk about why hes mad, no responce, and ive told him how much hes hurting me by ignoring me, and still nothing. He gets very angry if i miss his calls but hes never ignored me for a week straight. I told him im not going to talk or text him until he decides to talk to me. He always gets angry and tells me to leave him alone or come get my shit if he is breaking up with me. (we've broken up a few times in the past year and a half) What do I do?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend is ignoring me for a week after I sleep through one of his calls by mistake. He gets mad at me for missing calls but never this long. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by making a joke about drinking girl virgin blood while my crush was biking by (Slightly [NSFW])
POST: Warning: some people might be offended because its kind of rascist
Backstory: i and 5 other friends meet eachother daily and we always have like a stand-up comedy 30 minutes because we all enjoy comedy
we get some role assigned chosen by the everyone but the person who has to do it like 30 minutes before we have to do it
What was i assigned as?
A Anti-Muslim Russian soldier with a Thick accent who used to raid towns in the Turkemestani countryside. (Sorry if anyone is offended by this)
(Yeah, its gennerally a think of the craziest role you can think of-game)
So i got the message on my phone while biking down the street and got a idea for a joke. I like to talk to myself on my bike so i said the random joke out loud i thought of(again no offense): "in mother Russia, to clean your throath you need to use virgin blood of young muslim girls"
However, meanwhile i was saying it my crush biked by (just my luck) and was saying "hi" i only noticed after saying the joke and saw her face plummit and she biked away in a fast pace.
I was too much in the mode of: "what the fuck just happened" to follow her
And now im standing here, having so much regret..
Oh well...
TL;DR: | was thinking of a incredibly rascist joke, said it outloud, crush was somehow biking behind me and next to me while i said it, she natturely didnt find it funny and raced forwards.. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I (21m) make the first move on (21f)?
POST: There's this girl I've had a huge crush on since high school that I barely ever talked too but we're not strangers by any means. Somehow my friend got us hanging out with her at her friends apartment for a project.
So there's 5 of us just hanging out working on this project having a good time. She's down to earth and we like a lot of the same music so it's easy to talk to her. At one point when we were talking one on one she wouldn't stop pushing her hair back behind her ears like she was nervous talking to me.(which she didn't do when talking to anyone else) And when she showed me a video she made and I told her it was really good she got a big smile on her face, had no idea what to say and then muttered a thank you.
Then she invited me and my friend to a party her and/or her friend we're having this weekend. I wanna let her know I'm into her but I know she probably won't show a huge sign that she likes me first. I know she acted nervous around guys she liked into high school so I'm hoping it's the case here too. Should I be straight up with her or take it slow?
TL;DR: | girl I have a thing for acted nervous around me and invited me to a party. How should I make my first move ? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: I have a $7500(before-tax) bonus coming up soon with no savings and some debt, where do I put it?
POST: I apologize if this question is against the rules but I just wanted to give some background.
I have 12.5k in student loans, 3.2k I owe my brother, and 1k I owe my parents.
Just from moving and repairs to my car I already have around 750 dollars in credit card debt but I have no interest accumulating for 15 cycles. It's a Chase Freedom card so I will have a cash back bonus of 200 dollars that I can put towards the balance in the next few months.
My credit score is 735.
My plan is to pay off my brother by November, my parents by March, and to pay off my loans as aggressively as I can. I don't like the student loan debt even if I could potentially earn more by investing while making minimum payments.
At worst I estimate I lose 50% of my bonus? I have no idea what the taxes are like.
I'm making around 2300 dollars bi-weekly so I estimate I have about 3000 dollars a month when it's all said and done.
My plan is to kickstart an emergency fund with the bonus so I want to choose a high yield savings or money market account to store it in.
I'm looking at Everbank, Ally, Capital One 360, and Synchrony Bank.
Bank of America has terrible returns unless I have a ton of money invested with them.
TL;DR: | Which high yield savings account should I use to start an emergency fund? How much of my bonus can I expect to keep? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: (24/m) Told (23/f) I wanted to open up & express my appreciation for our friendship. It's not going well.
POST: I told my (f/23) friend I wanted to talk to her and open up about a few things. She asked about what and I mentioned I wanted to be direct and honest and share my appreciation for her as one of my closest friends. I was trying to be clear I wanted to do it in person.
I've lost some good friends in the past because I took them for granted and never told them how important they were directly and we slowly grew apart. I thought it'd be a good idea to try and change that with this one before the same thing happens. That's how important it is.
So I told her I wanted to open up and explain some things and she asked again what about. I then went against my own advice and sent a fairly long text message highlighting part of what I wanted to say and about how I wished I had done this with some friends who had moved away. She didn't respond to any of it all evening last night.
I woke up this morning and apologized by sending another long text (again not what I wanted) trying to simplify what I was trying to say. Now I'm sitting here all day losing my mind. I never got a response as of this post.
Is it selfish to want to cement a friendship like that?
I'm paranoid that she thinks I am developing feelings, but knowing her for years, I've avoided ever crossing that line. I just need to get a chance to explain it & with her going silent, I have no idea what to do.
TL;DR: | I told my close friend I wanted to talk and open up about things, it was important for my friendship due to past experiences. She hasn't responded to any of it and I am not sure how to handle it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [14 M] Son and I, [37 M] are very close, wife mentioned she sees me with him more than my other 3 kids.
POST: Basically, I am a father to 2 boys (14 and 4) and 2 girls, (10 and 6). I have always really connected with my 14 year old, it's really that general father-son take him hunting/fishing, teach him about women, trust him to take care of our ladies and be a man kind of thing.
I obviously I love them all the same, but is it okay that he's usually the one I pay the most attention to/am closest to? He really looks up to me and trusts me way more than I did my dad, and I know my other kids don't notice it, (I asked them if it bothered them when I took their brother out to hunt or fish, and my girls said no, they like staying home and playing with their dolls or going to a friend's. I do know my kids. If they have a problem, they ALWAYS tell their mother. Poor woman could write a book on their complaints.) but I'm still concerned as my wife mentioned it the other day.
It's not deliberate, it's just the fact that he has more interest in me. Yesterday I spent about an hour and a half explaining to my 10 year old how a diesel engine works because she was interested in how daddy's truck worked. But I just noticed the difference in me telling her and my son under the truck helping me fix it.
For reference, I do have a lot of friends inside and outside the workplace, so I'm not just a lonely asshole. Thanks guys.
TL;DR: | I spend a lot of time bonding with my 14 year old son and since my wife brought it up, I'm concerned I'm not being a good father to the rest of my kids. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [27F] partner has broken up with me [25F] after 5 year break up.
POST: So I met her when I was 20 years old at university and we were very happy together a long time ago. She then moved back home, and we began a LDR for a short period and then I moved up to the nearest city, got a job and proceeded to see her once a week where she would never stay over mine but to return home.
She hasn't been honest with her parents, she always lies where she is going, and they are about 75 years old. I have never even met them in person as she is scared to tell them about me, as well as being a lesbian.
She now proceeds to tell me she cannot simply do this anymore and doesn't want to. Roughly 4 months ago I was considering a break up because I felt daft, I felt that there was no passion and that she did not simply care for me as a girlfriend.
Within that 4 months there was a spark, feelings exchanged - I felt hope that she saw a future for me.
As previously, I felt neglected from her; She tells me she loves me but she also tells me that she doesn't want a commitment. I do feel like my sadness and that I have burdened her life has pushed her away.
In other views, I believe that it was because she never saw me as a partner for her future whereas I did see that in her.
I am not sure how to deal with it. Everyday I feel all anxious because of the way I am feeling. I cannot talk to her about it because she doesn't know what to say to me, which she tells me that.
Was it even worth the 5 years because I felt like I tried so hard for it to work on my part. I provided emotional support when she needed it - I felt that she wasn't able to be 100% committed since of her parents but I thought I would have been worth more for her to tell her family about it.
TL;DR: | Lesbian Relationship, Girlfriend doesn't want to commit and gives space but hurts. Not sure If I should cut her off |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do I propose a threesome with my two best friends?
POST: Not sure if this is the right subreddit for this, but here goes.
About a month ago I broke up with my girlfriend, whom I had been dating since I was 18 (I am a 21 year old male). I've never so much as kissed anyone else and consider myself straight.
I have two best friends, a guy and a girl. He's bi and she's straight. They've been friends with benefits for a while (she told me but he doesn't know I know). Every night the three of us hang out and watch movies or play videogames at one of their houses, and at the end of the night I drive home while they spend the night together (I guess SSM is surprisingly erotic to some people).
Ever since breaking up with my girlfriend, I've been fantasizing about having a threesome with them. Maybe it's just because I've been missing having someone to sleep with and haven't had sex in over a month (since having it daily for almost 4 years), but I really want to not have to drive home one night so I can stay behind and join in their fun.
I want to explore my sexuality but I still think I am 90% straight, so this would really be ideal. I'd love it if we could become a casual throuple, but at the very least I want to have sex with them once.
However, I obviously don't want to ruin our friendship. If we had a threesome one time and didn't like it and it never happened again, that would be fine. But what I'm worried about is that merely proposing it will be too awkward and they'll be totally uninterested. They aren't super attracted to each other and are just fucking out of convenience, so I feel like they would be interested. Plus, whenever the three of us hang out I feel like there's some massive sexual tension. But of course this might just be because they have sex whenever I'm not around, and in any case I have practically zero experience with girls so I don't trust my instincts in these matters at all.
TL;DR: | My two best friends have frequent sex and I want to join them; how do I propose this without ruining our friendship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by proving my girlfriend wrong.
POST: Happened earlier today. I just moved in with my girlfriend and I brought a bigger TV from my place. The lady decided that she wants my TV on top on this unstable bookcase in a sitting room that doesn't have a television. I told her "There is no way that this television is going to sit on top of that rickety book shelf" to which she responds "Fine, do whatever you want with it" and it was on. I hoisted the TV on top of this 5.5 foot tall book shelf and set it down. To my surprise the TV stayed just fine and it looked like I was going to be eating my own foot for dinner. Fast forward 35 minutes and I hear a loud crash from the other side of the house and immediately yell "I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO!" to which I hear a faint rebuttal and then silence. I walked into the sitting room to find my TV in pieces on the floor and my girlfriend crying about how I didn't have to be such a jerk and how awful I made her feel. Now I will likely be spending my first night in this house on the couch, not watching TV.
TL;DR: | Tried to spitefully prove to my girlfriend that a large flat screen wouldn't be stable on a bookcase. Ended up with a broken TV and a night spent on the couch. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21 M] cannot figure out what I am doing wrong when it comes to girls? Please help!
POST: I haven't been in a relationship since the beginning of my senior year of high school. Right now, I'm in my senior year of college and fixing to graduate in the Fall....
I have been looking for a relationship for a while now, but I certainly do not make that readily obvious and I am not going to rush into one if I don't feel comfortable.
I have tried OKCupid, Tinder, and going out to college bars every weekend to try to meet girls. There have been several times when I have a great conversation with a girl, get her number, and never here from her again. There have also been times when a girl and myself text back and forth for a few weeks and as soon as I attempt to arrange a meeting, I get blown off.
I don't mean to sound vain, but I've been told that I'm pretty handsome by both genders. I exercise regularly, groom myself properly, and have a pretty good sense of humor.
My biggest problem is that I get discouraged easily when I'm turned down by a girl I'm attracted to. It happens so often that I'm beginning to lose hope in every having a relationship, or even sex.
I welcome any advice on the matter. Thanks in advance!
TL;DR: | I get blown off by every attractive girl I meet/talk to. Am I the problem or they? What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/books
TITLE: Just finished "This Side of Paradise."
POST: I have read "The Great Gatsby" three times now and each time I felt like my age and personal experiences made it better and better so I wanted to finally try some of his other work, so I figured why not try his first. I gotta say that was some book. It's short but it switches it's tone so many times and the way he writes just seems so reckless but in a good way!
I don't even know how to describe it right now, I am still digesting it all but just had to share this with someone, or someone(s), who might have read it and up where I live that is very hard to find. At times it made me wish I could live in that time at Princeton or any of the Ivy League schools but then other times it made me so happy to be in today's world without all of Amory's issues even if they are self-inflicted.
TL;DR: | Liked "Gatsby", read "This Side of Paradise", having lots of feels that I had to write to someone |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25F] with my Boss [60? M] just found my job being advertised online, and I think he is lining things up to fire/replace me behind mine and the companies back. How do I handle this professionally?
POST: So yeah,
I was sent a link by my friend who is unemployed and found a posting for my EXACT job. Same company, same title position (of which I am the only one to hold that title within the company), job description and my bosses email is the contact info.
In my country (not US or Canada) he is legally allowed fire me without cause for the first year of employment. I am here 9 months. I am not looking for legal advise, I already got it and I actually can't prevent it from happening. I am certain he is abusing the law to avoid salary increase.
I am going to get fired, for no reason, yes I make mistakes at work (who doesn't?) but its not more than anyone else or as bad as anyone else, but he will list the petty human errors as the reason when the time comes and paint me as incompetent/unfit to the CEO or others within the higher levels of the company to justify it.
I have not contacted anyone in the company yet (CEO or boss in question) about this. So advise on how/if to approach this with boss or CEO would be amazing.
But mostly; How do I navigate it with my head held high and my dignity intact?
TL;DR: | gonna get fired, found my job posted online. How do I handle this information at work and with the people involved and remain a professional? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (f 20) don't know how to take my bf (22m) talking to other women.
POST: So my bf and I live together, been dating for quite a while (years). I know he has friends outside of me, but the thing is, I know all of the ones he regularly hangs out with because they usually end up crashing at our place after going out.
Tonight, I was browsing through Snapchat and found that my bf's "best friends" on there were me, rando chick one and rando chick two. After some research, I found he's Facebook friends with them and they live in the area. I've also seen him hiding his phone while he's texting and caught glimpses of female names on his phone. (Not snooping, just whenever it comes into my line of sight.)
I know I have no reason to not trust him, but I also know that if he found me talking to guys he didn't know, he would be pretty mad. I've brought up the issue before, but I'm really bad at putting my feelings into words and I just end up being frustrated and crying which makes him frustrated too since he can't fix what's wrong.
I feel sick, mad at myself, just mad at everything. I want to talk to him like a normal person would, but I just don't know where to start.
Thank you, Reddit. Sorry if this was a bit scattered, please ask questions if I'm not clear enough. =]
TL;DR: | Bf is texting/snapchatting girls I do not know. I know if it were me doing so he would be angry. I just don't know how to say how I feel without making him feel accused. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend [26m] wants me to go on the pill, I [25f] don't.
POST: It is as simple as it gets, he wants me to, I don't.
Previously I wasn't sure if I would so told him that once we move in together and spend more time (were in a LDR before) we could consider it. We have been living together for 7 months and together for almost 3 years, this is the first time he brought it up again, I am now fairly sure it is not something I want to do.
Has this happened to somebody else? How did the whole thing end up? How did it affect the relationship if it didn't break it?
[
TL;DR: | ] Boyfriend wants me to go on the pill, I don't want to. What is people's experience in situations like these? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My libido keeps me awake at night.
POST: Sorry for the throw away but my girlfriend is a redditor and, being a woman, might take my words and form false beliefs based on them.
Basically my plight is this: I have an enormous, unsatisfiable libido. Since I was maybe 7 or 8, I have been masturbating – I am twenty-one now. I masturbate about two-three times a day, with most of them coming (excuse the pun) before bed. Always having trouble sleeping, and I find that by doing this, I am better able to rest.
I have a beautiful girlfriend of six years that helps me (we have sex three-four times a week), yet I feel as though she cannot keep up. I have exceptional stamina and when I climax, I am usually looking for more within five to ten minutes. Although this is a problem, it is by no means an excuse to get rid of her. Any replies concerned with me ending the relationship will be ignored; I love her very much and I don't believe that my level of arousal is grounding enough to do so.
That said, it has gotten to the point where I lie in bed for about three hours before falling asleep (she has the "bed hit pillow = unconscious gift"). I masturbate beside her, before sleeping yet I harbour feelings of sadness be it because I have a woman beside me while doing so, or because I have to do this in order to get any rest).
I admit I get extremely frustrated sometimes when she does not feel like putting out – and we've had our little spats about it, but I understand that I am not very ordinary in my wants and ultimately it is my fault.
Is this simply some sort of conditioned response due to my many years of masturbating – and thus there's no hope for my eternal boner, or is there an underlying cause to all of this? Help reddit, you're my only hope.
TL;DR: | I **ALWAYS** want sex. If I don't get it, I need to masturbate in order to sleep. |
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: Vendor Communication - what's reasonable?
POST: This is the scoop:
I booked Vendor A last fall and Vendor A said they would send a few other vendors for potential Vendor B.
8/29 - I sent an email asking for the list of Vendor Bs and didn't receive a response.
9/22 - No response yet, so I followed up to re-ask for the list.
9/29 - Response received with one potential Vendor B and a commitment to send additional possible Vendor Bs.
I look into Vendor B and it appears they are closely related, possibly even siblings. I ask a couple of other people what they think. They also say they appear to be siblings. Looking at their businesses online they appear to have personal photos of each other on their business pages. There was no disclosure about potential relationship.
It makes me feel a little funny so I email Vendor A to ask about Vendor B as well as potential other Vendors and to inquire about the relationship. I never received a response.
I already submitted a partial deposit, but its really starting to make me nervous. Like, a lot nervous. Its getting down to be five months and the lack of communication and transparency is just giving me anxiety.
I've already booked other Vendor Bs, but I'm wondering if I should go ahead and book another vendor A as well and cut my losses with the deposit.
Anyone? Advice? Am I being a bridezilla here? I think 72 hours is a fair time for turnaround. Disclosure about certain things?
TL;DR: | Vendor A recommended only one Vendor B that is possibly their sibling and their communication has been really spotty. Am I being unreasonable? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: What do you do when your family hates your S.O.?
POST: Okay, reddit. I could use some advice from your collective wisdom.
I've been with a man about 2 years now. I'm 28 and he's 25. When we met, we instantly felt like best friends; it was hard not to throw ourselves into it completely. We dated, fell in love, moved in together. We're talking about getting married next year. The foundation of the relationship is strong, we definitely love each other, and we want the same general things in our futures so I have every reason to believe this could be the one.
Unfortunately, he has been struggling, particularly in the last year, with psychological and emotional problems (specifically anxiety and anger management). He used to take these out on me a lot. I eventually threatened to leave, and we went into couples' counseling; things turned around, and even though he still struggles with those problems he NEVER directs his anger or pain at me.
I did make a choice to stay with him, mostly because I believe that he wants to change, and *can* change with the help of regular counseling. But my family does not approve of this choice. They see him as emotionally unstable and abusive; even though I feel that is behind us now, he's not welcome at family events and I take regular flak for being involved with him. My brother won't even speak to him and "never wants to see him again." (Sadly my brother has only seen the worst of him, and felt personally offended by the way he behaved.)
Is this reasonable? Of course I would not even consider giving the relationship a chance unless I really loved him and believed he was worth the effort. But I'm close to my family and I trust them. The way they see him makes me constantly second-guess my choice to stay with him. Some part of me is wondering "Are they right...? Am I just oblivious to how bad it is?"
I'm also afraid that if we got married, it would drive a wedge between me and my family, something I don't think I could live with. Is it naive to hope this will get better?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend made some mistakes, I forgave him but my family didn't. Now I'm confused and feeling really torn between them. Help! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm sure this girl [21/F] where I work has a crush on me [22/M] but I find her really hard to read - is it serious?
POST: Yo.
Throwaway account for this question. Pretty much I work for a broadband provider as a broadband remote support engineer. Comes Friday and I'm called by the service team to investigate an engineer attending a site out of nowhere. I find out what happens, call the girl on service who asked me to investigate to explain what happened and she starts asking me questions about my age/ where I went to school etc. She explains that one of the account managers [21/F mentioned in title] was listening in on the conversation and asking the questions. I avoid the questions, and they then call one of the billing team members to ask instead (funnily enough they don't know my age either)
Anyway. Monday rolls around. 9:30 AM, I get a phone call from said account manager. I answer with "How did I know you'd be the first person to bother me this morning?" to a response of "It's because I haven't spoken to you all weekend" while laughing.
Tuesday: Again she directly calls me at the end of the day to begin a random conversation. Hangs up to answer another call, then calls back to continue conversation. At the end of said conversation when she tells me she has to go, I leave it as "that's a shame" to get a response of "you just made it awkward".
Wednesday: I come back off my lunch break to a call (again) directly to me; with a "I was waiting for you for ages", and when I ask whether it was waiting to talk to me or ask me to do something she tells me "all of it, everything". A little later she asks me to provide a quote on some work.
Since then it's been all quiet. Heard nothing today. I can't tell if she's being serious or not about all of this. I'm genuinely terrible when it comes to talking to girls and relationships - so any advice would be appreciated!
TL;DR: | Girl seems to flirt with me, but I can't tell if she's being serious or not because she's so hard to read. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My parents just got me a VW Jetta and told me they have ways of finding out if i break rules. Any ideas on how?
POST: So my parents got me a car, a 2010 VW Jetta. After they gave it to me my mom said that if i drove anyone but myself in the car, they would find out and i would lose the car. I'm trying to figure out if this is a bluff or if there actually is technology offered to give this information. Same thing with a speed monitor and GPS and all the gadgets that overly protective parents would put into a car to watch their kid at all times. If you do know if this exists, do you know where in the car I could find it? (I'm not planning on breaking any laws, but i don't feel too comfortable having Big Brother following me everywhere i go.)
TL;DR: | If it exists, where in my car could I find a gadget that monitors the cars passengers or contents, as well as speed and location. |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Racing Heart Rate?; Concerned about High HR
POST: Ran the Helsinki City Run yesterday (Half Marathon), and pushed it hard, hoping for a PR. However, I didn't look closely at the course, which was fairly flat until mile 10, when a bunch of nasty hills appeared for the rest of the race.
I'm 34, have run a marathon, three HMs, (all in last 2 years) and run for about ten years.
I (was really pissed about those unexpected hills and) pushed it as hard as I could (within seconds of PR!), and was a little concerned to see my HR after the race- an average of 178 BPM, with a high of 195; The last 5K (during those hills) was north of 182 (my Max HR, as I had previously calculated it..).
This scared me a little bit, as my long runs have me about 150, and my racing max (for short period) is about 185 to date; During this race I held about 185 for thirty minutes at the end of the race. For reference, my recent marathon and half marathons averaged 168 and 172 bpm, respectively.
So the questions is, is this dangerous?
I had some caffeine gels to go with it, and I love getting PRs, but I don't particularly want to move into risky territory.
I recognize the answer is very subjective (and I should get a stress test done just to be safe), but I'm curious: What percentage of max HR are your marathon, half marathon, 10k, 5k etc....?
Do any of you have the same concerns that you might damage your heart or drop dead at the finish line?
TL;DR: | I'm fairly experienced, but worried my heart rate was dangerously high throughout a HM; Have you ever had these same concerns, and where do you keep your HR during these races? |
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