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1,713 | How to Annoy Argumentative People | 1. Avoiding Arguments
1-1. Don't argue.
It can seem difficult to avoid being drawn into a debate. When faced with a very argumentative person, it is important to remind yourself that your antagonist does not likely want to hear your opinion. Nothing you say will be convincing enough to settle the argument, and an argumentative person will likely not admit it even if they are wrong. Save yourself a headache and just say you're not going to debate the topic.
1-2. Avoid hot topics.
When talking to an argumentative person, it's best to keep the conversation as trivial as possible. If a topic comes up that often causes disagreements or that many people debate, like gun control or abortion, say that you do not want to talk about it or that topic doesn't interest you.
Change the subject. If you sense an argument coming, instead of disagreeing try to steer the conversation in a different direction.
1-3. Stay calm
Don't let yourself get riled up. Letting an argumentative person see that the argument is getting your emotions going will likely give him the sense of victory or superiority he secretly craves and urge him to keep arguing. If you appear to be unaffected by the disagreement, the other person will feel unsatisfied with the results. Eventually he may even give up arguing with you and seek out a more excitable target.
Keep your voice quiet. When one person raises their voice, the other feels compelled to be louder. Speaking quietly may even make you seem wiser, which will annoy your opponent.
1-4. Look bored.
Check your watch or the messages on your phone. Let him know you have more important things to do and excuse yourself. Disputes give argumentative people a sense of superiority. By displaying your lack of interest in discussing the topic you will seem superior yourself.
1-5. Agree without agreeing.
Say something like, "You're probably right, but I like my way." Once you have done this there is nothing left to argue about. You can also nod your head without agreeing. Let him state his opinion and then move the conversation onward as though an agreement was made.
Make noises of agreement without agreeing. This helps to slow down his statements and keep the conversation low-key.
2. Making Annoying Arguments
2-1. Tell him he is wrong.
Don't back this up with any facts that can be debated. Just tell him he is wrong and refuse to provide any further explanation. Nothing will anger an argumentative person more than hearing they are wrong, especially if they are right.
2-2. Demand proof.
Even if the other person's argument seems to be valid, demand proof for any claims that they make. Refuse to debate the issue further until he proves his claim to you. Try to create as much legwork as possible for your antagonist. Make it too exhausting and time consuming to continue to have an argument with you.
2-3. Point out bad grammar.
If your opponent happens to use words incorrectly while arguing, be sure to stop him and point it out. This will not only disrupt his momentum while speaking, but make him feel intellectually inferior as well. The more nitpicky and irrelevant your "corrections" are, the better. You know, they send you a three-paragraph argument and you answer with "You're" when they use "Your".
2-4. Patronize him.
Be as condescending as possible to make yourself seem superior. For example, you can offer to use smaller words so he can understand you better.
Roll your eyes. Look up and to one side and slowly move your eyes until you see the opposite side of the room. It helps to shake your head slightly while rolling the eyes. This expression will show that you find your opponent ridiculous and stupid.
2-5. Cite ridiculous, irrelevant sources.
Cite movies, television shows, or other completely unrelated figures as authoritative voices. Quoting song lyrics also works great. This method is very difficult to combat as he will first have to figure out whether you are serious or not before he can come up with a response.
For example, if someone is trying to start an argument of American foreign policy, a possible response could be, "Well, as Billy Joel said, 'We didn't start the fire.'"
2-6. Point out pettiness.
If the argument is over something that is not important, be sure to point out that your antagonist is blowing it out of proportion due to their mean nature. Argumentative people like to act as though every argument is important because it is really just about being right. If you show your opponent how their arguing can be viewed as a fault in their character, it may make them more reluctant to engage you further.
2-7. Make it personal.
Forget whatever topic the argument might be about and focus on becoming insulting and rude. For example, if you begin to lose a debate about poverty you could say, "You should spend less time worrying about poverty and more time figuring out a new hair style." This kind of attack does nothing for winning the actual argument, but hurling insults can often quiet down and humiliate aggressive opponent. Of course, it could also end up turning into a physical fight, so watch out.
3. Controlling Your Emotions
3-1. Stay calm.
Argumentative people will often argue out of a desire to see an emotional response from their opponent. Don't show if the interaction is making you upset or angry.
Smile. Show your antagonist you aren't going to let an argument bring you down. Sometimes that's all an angry, argumentative person is looking to do.
3-2. Ask questions.
Instead of trying to convince an argumentative person to see things your way, ask them questions to explain their viewpoint. Often this can help you get to root of the argument. For example you can ask "What is your reasoning behind that idea?" Aside from not having to justify your own position to your opponent, you are allowing them an opportunity to vent and feel their voice is heard. Many times this will be enough to calm an argumentative person, even if it doesn't resolve the disagreement.
3-3. Know when to walk away.
If you feel a situation is not going to be resolved in a positive manner, just step away from it. You can always pick up the topic again at a later time when you feel it can be discussed in a reasonable manner.
Tips
Don't take on people who are bigger and tougher than you, in case it goes further than you expect.
Always be sure you don't say anything you will regret later. Choose your words carefully when arguing.
Don't let them see you getting annoyed. Smile throughout the conversation. This will annoy them, because they'll think they're not annoying you!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:45:58",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Avoiding Arguments\\n1-1. Don't argue.\\nIt can seem difficult to avoid being drawn into a debate. When faced with a very argumentative person, it is important to remind yourself that your antagonist does not likely want to hear your opinion. Nothing you say will be convincing enough to settle the argument, and an argumentative person will likely not admit it even if they are wrong. Save yourself a headache and just say you're not going to debate the topic.\\n1-2. Avoid hot topics.\\nWhen talking to an argumentative person, it's best to keep the conversation as trivial as possible. If a topic comes up that often causes disagreements or that many people debate, like gun control or abortion, say that you do not want to talk about it or that topic doesn't interest you.\\nChange the subject. If you sense an argument coming, instead of disagreeing try to steer the conversation in a different direction.\\n1-3. Stay calm\\nDon't let yourself get riled up. Letting an argumentative person see that the argument is getting your emotions going will likely give him the sense of victory or superiority he secretly craves and urge him to keep arguing. If you appear to be unaffected by the disagreement, the other person will feel unsatisfied with the results. Eventually he may even give up arguing with you and seek out a more excitable target.\\nKeep your voice quiet. When one person raises their voice, the other feels compelled to be louder. Speaking quietly may even make you seem wiser, which will annoy your opponent.\\n1-4. Look bored.\\nCheck your watch or the messages on your phone. Let him know you have more important things to do and excuse yourself. Disputes give argumentative people a sense of superiority. By displaying your lack of interest in discussing the topic you will seem superior yourself.\\n1-5. Agree without agreeing.\\nSay something like, \\\"You're probably right, but I like my way.\\\" Once you have done this there is nothing left to argue about. You can also nod your head without agreeing. Let him state his opinion and then move the conversation onward as though an agreement was made.\\nMake noises of agreement without agreeing. This helps to slow down his statements and keep the conversation low-key.\\n2. Making Annoying Arguments\\n2-1. Tell him he is wrong.\\nDon't back this up with any facts that can be debated. Just tell him he is wrong and refuse to provide any further explanation. Nothing will anger an argumentative person more than hearing they are wrong, especially if they are right.\\n2-2. Demand proof.\\nEven if the other person's argument seems to be valid, demand proof for any claims that they make. Refuse to debate the issue further until he proves his claim to you. Try to create as much legwork as possible for your antagonist. Make it too exhausting and time consuming to continue to have an argument with you.\\n2-3. Point out bad grammar.\\nIf your opponent happens to use words incorrectly while arguing, be sure to stop him and point it out. This will not only disrupt his momentum while speaking, but make him feel intellectually inferior as well. The more nitpicky and irrelevant your \\\"corrections\\\" are, the better. You know, they send you a three-paragraph argument and you answer with \\\"You're\\\" when they use \\\"Your\\\".\\n2-4. Patronize him.\\nBe as condescending as possible to make yourself seem superior. For example, you can offer to use smaller words so he can understand you better.\\nRoll your eyes. Look up and to one side and slowly move your eyes until you see the opposite side of the room. It helps to shake your head slightly while rolling the eyes. This expression will show that you find your opponent ridiculous and stupid.\\n2-5. Cite ridiculous, irrelevant sources.\\nCite movies, television shows, or other completely unrelated figures as authoritative voices. Quoting song lyrics also works great. This method is very difficult to combat as he will first have to figure out whether you are serious or not before he can come up with a response.\\nFor example, if someone is trying to start an argument of American foreign policy, a possible response could be, \\\"Well, as Billy Joel said, 'We didn't start the fire.'\\\"\\n2-6. Point out pettiness.\\nIf the argument is over something that is not important, be sure to point out that your antagonist is blowing it out of proportion due to their mean nature. Argumentative people like to act as though every argument is important because it is really just about being right. If you show your opponent how their arguing can be viewed as a fault in their character, it may make them more reluctant to engage you further.\\n2-7. Make it personal.\\nForget whatever topic the argument might be about and focus on becoming insulting and rude. For example, if you begin to lose a debate about poverty you could say, \\\"You should spend less time worrying about poverty and more time figuring out a new hair style.\\\" This kind of attack does nothing for winning the actual argument, but hurling insults can often quiet down and humiliate aggressive opponent. Of course, it could also end up turning into a physical fight, so watch out.\\n3. Controlling Your Emotions\\n3-1. Stay calm.\\nArgumentative people will often argue out of a desire to see an emotional response from their opponent. Don't show if the interaction is making you upset or angry.\\nSmile. Show your antagonist you aren't going to let an argument bring you down. Sometimes that's all an angry, argumentative person is looking to do.\\n3-2. Ask questions.\\nInstead of trying to convince an argumentative person to see things your way, ask them questions to explain their viewpoint. Often this can help you get to root of the argument. For example you can ask \\\"What is your reasoning behind that idea?\\\" Aside from not having to justify your own position to your opponent, you are allowing them an opportunity to vent and feel their voice is heard. Many times this will be enough to calm an argumentative person, even if it doesn't resolve the disagreement.\\n3-3. Know when to walk away.\\nIf you feel a situation is not going to be resolved in a positive manner, just step away from it. You can always pick up the topic again at a later time when you feel it can be discussed in a reasonable manner.\\nTips\\nDon't take on people who are bigger and tougher than you, in case it goes further than you expect.\\nAlways be sure you don't say anything you will regret later. Choose your words carefully when arguing.\\nDon't let them see you getting annoyed. Smile throughout the conversation. This will annoy them, because they'll think they're not annoying you!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Some people love to argue. It may not even matter what the topic is, some argumentative people just feel the need to be right or seem superior and are not open to be wrong. The best way to deal with these type of argumentative people is not to become one yourself. Nothing will annoy this kind of argumentative person more than encountering someone who takes away their opportunity to argue, refuses to take them seriously, and points out their faults.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoiding Arguments\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't argue.\", \"描述\": \"It can seem difficult to avoid being drawn into a debate. When faced with a very argumentative person, it is important to remind yourself that your antagonist does not likely want to hear your opinion. Nothing you say will be convincing enough to settle the argument, and an argumentative person will likely not admit it even if they are wrong. Save yourself a headache and just say you're not going to debate the topic.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid hot topics.\", \"描述\": \"When talking to an argumentative person, it's best to keep the conversation as trivial as possible. If a topic comes up that often causes disagreements or that many people debate, like gun control or abortion, say that you do not want to talk about it or that topic doesn't interest you.\\nChange the subject. If you sense an argument coming, instead of disagreeing try to steer the conversation in a different direction.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stay calm\", \"描述\": \"Don't let yourself get riled up. Letting an argumentative person see that the argument is getting your emotions going will likely give him the sense of victory or superiority he secretly craves and urge him to keep arguing. If you appear to be unaffected by the disagreement, the other person will feel unsatisfied with the results. Eventually he may even give up arguing with you and seek out a more excitable target.\\nKeep your voice quiet. When one person raises their voice, the other feels compelled to be louder. Speaking quietly may even make you seem wiser, which will annoy your opponent.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Look bored.\", \"描述\": \"Check your watch or the messages on your phone. Let him know you have more important things to do and excuse yourself. Disputes give argumentative people a sense of superiority. By displaying your lack of interest in discussing the topic you will seem superior yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Agree without agreeing.\", \"描述\": \"Say something like, \\\"You're probably right, but I like my way.\\\" Once you have done this there is nothing left to argue about. You can also nod your head without agreeing. Let him state his opinion and then move the conversation onward as though an agreement was made.\\nMake noises of agreement without agreeing. This helps to slow down his statements and keep the conversation low-key.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making Annoying Arguments\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tell him he is wrong.\", \"描述\": \"Don't back this up with any facts that can be debated. Just tell him he is wrong and refuse to provide any further explanation. Nothing will anger an argumentative person more than hearing they are wrong, especially if they are right.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Demand proof.\", \"描述\": \"Even if the other person's argument seems to be valid, demand proof for any claims that they make. Refuse to debate the issue further until he proves his claim to you. Try to create as much legwork as possible for your antagonist. Make it too exhausting and time consuming to continue to have an argument with you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Point out bad grammar.\", \"描述\": \"If your opponent happens to use words incorrectly while arguing, be sure to stop him and point it out. This will not only disrupt his momentum while speaking, but make him feel intellectually inferior as well. The more nitpicky and irrelevant your \\\"corrections\\\" are, the better. You know, they send you a three-paragraph argument and you answer with \\\"You're\\\" when they use \\\"Your\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Patronize him.\", \"描述\": \"Be as condescending as possible to make yourself seem superior. For example, you can offer to use smaller words so he can understand you better.\\nRoll your eyes. Look up and to one side and slowly move your eyes until you see the opposite side of the room. It helps to shake your head slightly while rolling the eyes. This expression will show that you find your opponent ridiculous and stupid.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Cite ridiculous, irrelevant sources.\", \"描述\": \"Cite movies, television shows, or other completely unrelated figures as authoritative voices. Quoting song lyrics also works great. This method is very difficult to combat as he will first have to figure out whether you are serious or not before he can come up with a response.\\nFor example, if someone is trying to start an argument of American foreign policy, a possible response could be, \\\"Well, as Billy Joel said, 'We didn't start the fire.'\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Point out pettiness.\", \"描述\": \"If the argument is over something that is not important, be sure to point out that your antagonist is blowing it out of proportion due to their mean nature. Argumentative people like to act as though every argument is important because it is really just about being right. If you show your opponent how their arguing can be viewed as a fault in their character, it may make them more reluctant to engage you further.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Make it personal.\", \"描述\": \"Forget whatever topic the argument might be about and focus on becoming insulting and rude. For example, if you begin to lose a debate about poverty you could say, \\\"You should spend less time worrying about poverty and more time figuring out a new hair style.\\\" This kind of attack does nothing for winning the actual argument, but hurling insults can often quiet down and humiliate aggressive opponent. Of course, it could also end up turning into a physical fight, so watch out.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Controlling Your Emotions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stay calm.\", \"描述\": \"Argumentative people will often argue out of a desire to see an emotional response from their opponent. Don't show if the interaction is making you upset or angry.\\nSmile. Show your antagonist you aren't going to let an argument bring you down. Sometimes that's all an angry, argumentative person is looking to do.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask questions.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of trying to convince an argumentative person to see things your way, ask them questions to explain their viewpoint. Often this can help you get to root of the argument. For example you can ask \\\"What is your reasoning behind that idea?\\\" Aside from not having to justify your own position to your opponent, you are allowing them an opportunity to vent and feel their voice is heard. Many times this will be enough to calm an argumentative person, even if it doesn't resolve the disagreement.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Know when to walk away.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel a situation is not going to be resolved in a positive manner, just step away from it. You can always pick up the topic again at a later time when you feel it can be discussed in a reasonable manner.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't take on people who are bigger and tougher than you, in case it goes further than you expect.\\n\", \"Always be sure you don't say anything you will regret later. Choose your words carefully when arguing.\\n\", \"Don't let them see you getting annoyed. Smile throughout the conversation. This will annoy them, because they'll think they're not annoying you!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,714 | How to Annoy Your Brother | 1. Annoying Younger Brothers
1-1. Mimic his voice.
Any time your brother says anything, repeat what he said, but in a high-pitched girly voice. This has been driving little brothers crazy since the dawn of time.. This is especially effective when he's telling you, "Stop doing that!" or "I'm telling!"
When your parents come in, quickly switch over to your regular voice so you don't get caught.
1-2. Take bites off his plate.
While you're eating dinner, wait until nobody is looking and start sneaking bites off his plate. Make sure it's his favorite food, too. Before he notices, make comment like, "Jeez, where's all your food going."
1-3. Boss him around like you're his parent.
Little brothers want to be older so badly that the more you draw attention to their youth, the more annoyed they'll be. Treat him like he's much younger than you all the time.
If you have to do chores together, keep commenting about how he's slow, or can't keep up with you because you're older.
Assign him chores, even if it's not your job to do chore-assignments.
Call him a baby any time he asks you for help, or doesn't understand something. Always talk about how he's too small, too short, or not old enough to know something.
1-4. Make stuff up.
Little brothers are impressionable little goofs. One way to annoy them is to make up ridiculous lies about the world and get them to believe it. If you can even get them to repeat it like it's real? That's a total win.
Tell your brother avocados are actually dinosaur eggs. And they're poisonous.
Tell your brother he wasn't actually born, your parents grew him in a bucket from catfish heads.
Tell your brother that you have the power to read minds. He's thinking, "No you don't."
Tell your brother that the dog speaks when he's not around. And says it wants to eat him.
Tell your brother Star Wars is a documentary. It really happened.
Tell your brother when he turns whatever age he turns next, his nipples will fall off, then grow back.
1-5. Embarrass him in front of his friends.
If your brother has some friends coming over, it's a great time to mess with him and embarrass him in front of others. Bring out some of his baby pictures, or talk about something embarrassing he did the day before when his friends are over. He'll get really annoyed.
Nuclear warfare: Dump a glass of water on his bed, so it looks like he peed it the night before. Wait until his friends come over and let them find it.
Be really careful about doing this. If you're a cool older kid, you should probably have better things to do than messing around with your younger brother in front of his friends. You might just look like a loser doing this.
1-6. Use the silent treatment.
If you really want payback for something, just ignoring your brother is sometimes the best option. He probably wants attention, and keeping that from him will drive him even more crazy than anything you can do.
Don't let him do stuff that you're doing. If you're going to watch a movie, say he can't, because it's only for older kids. Freeze him out of whatever you're doing.
1-7. Try to be his friend, too.
Younger brothers usually look up to older kids and want to spend time around them. Just because your little brother might be annoying sometimes, Try to remember that you can be a good influence on him too. Instead of trying to annoy him, try to teach him to be cool. Don't make him a nuisance.
Only use these methods to get back at your brother for doing something that's mean. Don't make this a regular habit.
2. Annoying Older Brothers
2-1. Go into his room.
Older brothers are going to get pretty defensive about their rooms. If your brother has his own room, just keep going into it without being asked. Ask him a million questions and start messing with his stuff.
Wait until he starts getting up to tell your parents, then leave really quickly and go back to your room. If they ask you about it, say, "He's making it up."
Do something weird in his room while he's out, like pull out all his clothes and put them in a pile, or take sticky notes and label everything. Put one on the window that says, "Window." Put one on the computer that says, "Computer." Find his change jar and label it "143 cents." He'll be so confused.
Play innocent. If he tries to beat you up, or chases you out, tell your parents you just tried to ask him a question and he started hitting you.
2-2. Make annoying noises.
Wait until your brother is busy doing something, like playing a complicated game, talking to a girl, or doing his homework. Then, it's time to strike. Make stupid noises with your mouth, or with your armpit, or with your toys. Make a big racket.
Make sure your parents are in another room, so you can stop in enough time before you get into trouble.
2-3. Hide his stuff.
Hide his phone, keys, books for homework, or anything specific that he thinks is really important. Make it really hard to find, putting it in a box in the attic, or somewhere strange out in the garage.
Be careful not to leave incriminating evidence in your room, if you are to do this. Be smart, don't hide stuff under your pillow. If its found, you can always play ignorant and no one will be able to prove it was you.
You can also come clean when your brother is looking. Say, "Oh, you need your phone? I know where it is. Give me a ride to the comic book store and I'll tell you."
2-4. Shut off the Internet when he's on it.
Find the Internet router in your house, if you have one, and find the "reset" button. When your brother's busy talking to chicks on the Internet, keep hitting the reset so he'll get really annoyed.
If you don't know where the router is, ask your parents to show you, because you're curious. Don't let on that you want to mess with it. Just say, "How does the Internet work? Can you show me?" They'll be impressed.
2-5. Try to snoop on him.
Older brothers and privacy are made to be separated. If your brother really values his privacy on his computer, phone, and in his room, start trying to invade it as much as possible. Mess with him in little ways that'll drive him nuts.
Try to swipe his phone. Delete contacts on his phone, or change the names of people. Find his best friend and change it to "Stupid McButtsniffer."
Try to log into his Facebook and make embarrassing posts, or change his pictures, or comment on other people's stuff with dumb comments.
2-6. Wake him up really early.
If your brother went out really late the night before, wake him up by blasting some loud rock music, like Linkin Park or AC/DC, or starting a battle scene from Lord of the Rings really loud. Do it in his room at 6.00 AM on a Saturday. Instant annoyance.
If he has an alarm, reset it for like two hours earlier than he would normally wake up. Nobody should have to wake up at 4 am. Except your older brother.
2-7. Ease off sometimes.
It might not always seem like it, but you're lucky to have a brother, and you'll probably get along a lot better when you're older. Annoying your brother, however annoying he may be to you, can be pretty immature and get you both into trouble. Try to get a long as much as you can.
Instead of annoying an older brother, try to learn as much as you can from him. Older siblings usually know a lot more about their younger siblings. Instead of annoying him, try to understand why he does what he does.
Warnings
You could get into trouble if you're not careful. Otherwise, you're good to go!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:45:58",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Annoying Younger Brothers\\n1-1. Mimic his voice.\\nAny time your brother says anything, repeat what he said, but in a high-pitched girly voice. This has been driving little brothers crazy since the dawn of time.. This is especially effective when he's telling you, \\\"Stop doing that!\\\" or \\\"I'm telling!\\\"\\nWhen your parents come in, quickly switch over to your regular voice so you don't get caught.\\n1-2. Take bites off his plate.\\nWhile you're eating dinner, wait until nobody is looking and start sneaking bites off his plate. Make sure it's his favorite food, too. Before he notices, make comment like, \\\"Jeez, where's all your food going.\\\"\\n1-3. Boss him around like you're his parent.\\nLittle brothers want to be older so badly that the more you draw attention to their youth, the more annoyed they'll be. Treat him like he's much younger than you all the time.\\nIf you have to do chores together, keep commenting about how he's slow, or can't keep up with you because you're older.\\nAssign him chores, even if it's not your job to do chore-assignments.\\nCall him a baby any time he asks you for help, or doesn't understand something. Always talk about how he's too small, too short, or not old enough to know something.\\n1-4. Make stuff up.\\nLittle brothers are impressionable little goofs. One way to annoy them is to make up ridiculous lies about the world and get them to believe it. If you can even get them to repeat it like it's real? That's a total win.\\nTell your brother avocados are actually dinosaur eggs. And they're poisonous.\\nTell your brother he wasn't actually born, your parents grew him in a bucket from catfish heads.\\nTell your brother that you have the power to read minds. He's thinking, \\\"No you don't.\\\"\\nTell your brother that the dog speaks when he's not around. And says it wants to eat him.\\nTell your brother Star Wars is a documentary. It really happened.\\nTell your brother when he turns whatever age he turns next, his nipples will fall off, then grow back.\\n1-5. Embarrass him in front of his friends.\\nIf your brother has some friends coming over, it's a great time to mess with him and embarrass him in front of others. Bring out some of his baby pictures, or talk about something embarrassing he did the day before when his friends are over. He'll get really annoyed.\\nNuclear warfare: Dump a glass of water on his bed, so it looks like he peed it the night before. Wait until his friends come over and let them find it.\\nBe really careful about doing this. If you're a cool older kid, you should probably have better things to do than messing around with your younger brother in front of his friends. You might just look like a loser doing this.\\n1-6. Use the silent treatment.\\nIf you really want payback for something, just ignoring your brother is sometimes the best option. He probably wants attention, and keeping that from him will drive him even more crazy than anything you can do.\\nDon't let him do stuff that you're doing. If you're going to watch a movie, say he can't, because it's only for older kids. Freeze him out of whatever you're doing.\\n1-7. Try to be his friend, too.\\nYounger brothers usually look up to older kids and want to spend time around them. Just because your little brother might be annoying sometimes, Try to remember that you can be a good influence on him too. Instead of trying to annoy him, try to teach him to be cool. Don't make him a nuisance.\\nOnly use these methods to get back at your brother for doing something that's mean. Don't make this a regular habit.\\n2. Annoying Older Brothers\\n2-1. Go into his room.\\nOlder brothers are going to get pretty defensive about their rooms. If your brother has his own room, just keep going into it without being asked. Ask him a million questions and start messing with his stuff.\\nWait until he starts getting up to tell your parents, then leave really quickly and go back to your room. If they ask you about it, say, \\\"He's making it up.\\\"\\nDo something weird in his room while he's out, like pull out all his clothes and put them in a pile, or take sticky notes and label everything. Put one on the window that says, \\\"Window.\\\" Put one on the computer that says, \\\"Computer.\\\" Find his change jar and label it \\\"143 cents.\\\" He'll be so confused.\\nPlay innocent. If he tries to beat you up, or chases you out, tell your parents you just tried to ask him a question and he started hitting you.\\n2-2. Make annoying noises.\\nWait until your brother is busy doing something, like playing a complicated game, talking to a girl, or doing his homework. Then, it's time to strike. Make stupid noises with your mouth, or with your armpit, or with your toys. Make a big racket.\\nMake sure your parents are in another room, so you can stop in enough time before you get into trouble.\\n2-3. Hide his stuff.\\nHide his phone, keys, books for homework, or anything specific that he thinks is really important. Make it really hard to find, putting it in a box in the attic, or somewhere strange out in the garage.\\nBe careful not to leave incriminating evidence in your room, if you are to do this. Be smart, don't hide stuff under your pillow. If its found, you can always play ignorant and no one will be able to prove it was you.\\nYou can also come clean when your brother is looking. Say, \\\"Oh, you need your phone? I know where it is. Give me a ride to the comic book store and I'll tell you.\\\"\\n2-4. Shut off the Internet when he's on it.\\nFind the Internet router in your house, if you have one, and find the \\\"reset\\\" button. When your brother's busy talking to chicks on the Internet, keep hitting the reset so he'll get really annoyed.\\nIf you don't know where the router is, ask your parents to show you, because you're curious. Don't let on that you want to mess with it. Just say, \\\"How does the Internet work? Can you show me?\\\" They'll be impressed.\\n2-5. Try to snoop on him.\\nOlder brothers and privacy are made to be separated. If your brother really values his privacy on his computer, phone, and in his room, start trying to invade it as much as possible. Mess with him in little ways that'll drive him nuts.\\nTry to swipe his phone. Delete contacts on his phone, or change the names of people. Find his best friend and change it to \\\"Stupid McButtsniffer.\\\"\\nTry to log into his Facebook and make embarrassing posts, or change his pictures, or comment on other people's stuff with dumb comments.\\n2-6. Wake him up really early.\\nIf your brother went out really late the night before, wake him up by blasting some loud rock music, like Linkin Park or AC/DC, or starting a battle scene from Lord of the Rings really loud. Do it in his room at 6.00 AM on a Saturday. Instant annoyance.\\nIf he has an alarm, reset it for like two hours earlier than he would normally wake up. Nobody should have to wake up at 4 am. Except your older brother.\\n2-7. Ease off sometimes.\\nIt might not always seem like it, but you're lucky to have a brother, and you'll probably get along a lot better when you're older. Annoying your brother, however annoying he may be to you, can be pretty immature and get you both into trouble. Try to get a long as much as you can.\\nInstead of annoying an older brother, try to learn as much as you can from him. Older siblings usually know a lot more about their younger siblings. Instead of annoying him, try to understand why he does what he does.\\nWarnings\\nYou could get into trouble if you're not careful. Otherwise, you're good to go!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Brothers can be annoying sometimes. If you want to get your brother off your back, you can learn some creative ways to get on his nerves and avoid getting into trouble. Since annoying your older brother is a little different than annoying younger brothers, you can learn how to get on the nerves of both, however old you are.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Annoying Younger Brothers\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Mimic his voice.\", \"描述\": \"Any time your brother says anything, repeat what he said, but in a high-pitched girly voice. This has been driving little brothers crazy since the dawn of time.. This is especially effective when he's telling you, \\\"Stop doing that!\\\" or \\\"I'm telling!\\\"\\nWhen your parents come in, quickly switch over to your regular voice so you don't get caught.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take bites off his plate.\", \"描述\": \"While you're eating dinner, wait until nobody is looking and start sneaking bites off his plate. Make sure it's his favorite food, too. Before he notices, make comment like, \\\"Jeez, where's all your food going.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Boss him around like you're his parent.\", \"描述\": \"Little brothers want to be older so badly that the more you draw attention to their youth, the more annoyed they'll be. Treat him like he's much younger than you all the time.\\nIf you have to do chores together, keep commenting about how he's slow, or can't keep up with you because you're older.\\nAssign him chores, even if it's not your job to do chore-assignments.\\nCall him a baby any time he asks you for help, or doesn't understand something. Always talk about how he's too small, too short, or not old enough to know something.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make stuff up.\", \"描述\": \"Little brothers are impressionable little goofs. One way to annoy them is to make up ridiculous lies about the world and get them to believe it. If you can even get them to repeat it like it's real? That's a total win.\\nTell your brother avocados are actually dinosaur eggs. And they're poisonous.\\nTell your brother he wasn't actually born, your parents grew him in a bucket from catfish heads.\\nTell your brother that you have the power to read minds. He's thinking, \\\"No you don't.\\\"\\nTell your brother that the dog speaks when he's not around. And says it wants to eat him.\\nTell your brother Star Wars is a documentary. It really happened.\\nTell your brother when he turns whatever age he turns next, his nipples will fall off, then grow back.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Embarrass him in front of his friends.\", \"描述\": \"If your brother has some friends coming over, it's a great time to mess with him and embarrass him in front of others. Bring out some of his baby pictures, or talk about something embarrassing he did the day before when his friends are over. He'll get really annoyed.\\nNuclear warfare: Dump a glass of water on his bed, so it looks like he peed it the night before. Wait until his friends come over and let them find it.\\nBe really careful about doing this. If you're a cool older kid, you should probably have better things to do than messing around with your younger brother in front of his friends. You might just look like a loser doing this.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Use the silent treatment.\", \"描述\": \"If you really want payback for something, just ignoring your brother is sometimes the best option. He probably wants attention, and keeping that from him will drive him even more crazy than anything you can do.\\nDon't let him do stuff that you're doing. If you're going to watch a movie, say he can't, because it's only for older kids. Freeze him out of whatever you're doing.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Try to be his friend, too.\", \"描述\": \"Younger brothers usually look up to older kids and want to spend time around them. Just because your little brother might be annoying sometimes, Try to remember that you can be a good influence on him too. Instead of trying to annoy him, try to teach him to be cool. Don't make him a nuisance.\\nOnly use these methods to get back at your brother for doing something that's mean. Don't make this a regular habit.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Annoying Older Brothers\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go into his room.\", \"描述\": \"Older brothers are going to get pretty defensive about their rooms. If your brother has his own room, just keep going into it without being asked. Ask him a million questions and start messing with his stuff.\\nWait until he starts getting up to tell your parents, then leave really quickly and go back to your room. If they ask you about it, say, \\\"He's making it up.\\\"\\nDo something weird in his room while he's out, like pull out all his clothes and put them in a pile, or take sticky notes and label everything. Put one on the window that says, \\\"Window.\\\" Put one on the computer that says, \\\"Computer.\\\" Find his change jar and label it \\\"143 cents.\\\" He'll be so confused.\\nPlay innocent. If he tries to beat you up, or chases you out, tell your parents you just tried to ask him a question and he started hitting you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make annoying noises.\", \"描述\": \"Wait until your brother is busy doing something, like playing a complicated game, talking to a girl, or doing his homework. Then, it's time to strike. Make stupid noises with your mouth, or with your armpit, or with your toys. Make a big racket.\\nMake sure your parents are in another room, so you can stop in enough time before you get into trouble.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Hide his stuff.\", \"描述\": \"Hide his phone, keys, books for homework, or anything specific that he thinks is really important. Make it really hard to find, putting it in a box in the attic, or somewhere strange out in the garage.\\nBe careful not to leave incriminating evidence in your room, if you are to do this. Be smart, don't hide stuff under your pillow. If its found, you can always play ignorant and no one will be able to prove it was you.\\nYou can also come clean when your brother is looking. Say, \\\"Oh, you need your phone? I know where it is. Give me a ride to the comic book store and I'll tell you.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Shut off the Internet when he's on it.\", \"描述\": \"Find the Internet router in your house, if you have one, and find the \\\"reset\\\" button. When your brother's busy talking to chicks on the Internet, keep hitting the reset so he'll get really annoyed.\\nIf you don't know where the router is, ask your parents to show you, because you're curious. Don't let on that you want to mess with it. Just say, \\\"How does the Internet work? Can you show me?\\\" They'll be impressed.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Try to snoop on him.\", \"描述\": \"Older brothers and privacy are made to be separated. If your brother really values his privacy on his computer, phone, and in his room, start trying to invade it as much as possible. Mess with him in little ways that'll drive him nuts.\\nTry to swipe his phone. Delete contacts on his phone, or change the names of people. Find his best friend and change it to \\\"Stupid McButtsniffer.\\\"\\nTry to log into his Facebook and make embarrassing posts, or change his pictures, or comment on other people's stuff with dumb comments.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Wake him up really early.\", \"描述\": \"If your brother went out really late the night before, wake him up by blasting some loud rock music, like Linkin Park or AC/DC, or starting a battle scene from Lord of the Rings really loud. Do it in his room at 6.00 AM on a Saturday. Instant annoyance.\\nIf he has an alarm, reset it for like two hours earlier than he would normally wake up. Nobody should have to wake up at 4 am. Except your older brother.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Ease off sometimes.\", \"描述\": \"It might not always seem like it, but you're lucky to have a brother, and you'll probably get along a lot better when you're older. Annoying your brother, however annoying he may be to you, can be pretty immature and get you both into trouble. Try to get a long as much as you can.\\nInstead of annoying an older brother, try to learn as much as you can from him. Older siblings usually know a lot more about their younger siblings. Instead of annoying him, try to understand why he does what he does.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"You could get into trouble if you're not careful. Otherwise, you're good to go!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,715 | How to Annoy Your Girlfriend Through Text | 1. Reply with “K.”
This response will make it sound like you’re blowing her off.
No one likes to get a “K” message, especially not from their S.O. If she just told you something funny or wrote out a big message, hit her with a “K” to leave her feeling irritated.
“Ok” and “Okay” work too!
2. Respond with one word.
Make her think that you’re totally uninterested in your convo.
If your girlfriend just wrote out multiple texts or a huge paragraph, read the entire thing, then respond with “haha” or “nice.”
You could also try “lol” or “cool.”
3. Leave her on read.
Not responding is one of the most annoying things you could do.
If you two are having a lively texting conversation, stop in the middle of it and just don’t reply. She’ll probably be annoyed and wonder why you stopped texting her or what you’re doing.
4. Respond with pictures.
Spamming her with pics instead of texts is sure to make her annoyed.
When she texts you, pick a funny photo out of your library and send that instead. If she questions it or asks why you sent that, pick another silly photo to send. Keep it up until she’s raging mad!
You could also use funny gifs or short videos if you have them on hand.
Or, try sending her a gif of the iMessage typing bubble. It will look like you’re crafting a long message, when in reality, you aren’t texting her back at all.
5. Make up a new word.
Act like it’s a totally normal word to use in everyday sentences.
Come up with something funny, like “glorb” or “grunkle.” Then, throw it into conversation and act totally normal when she texts back confused. Try something like:
“Hey, have you seen my glorb anywhere?”
“Would you mind bringing my grunkle when you come over later?”
6. Text each letter individually.
Send her a string of messages spelling out what you want to say.
This will fill up her phone with texts, and it will probably make her pretty mad! Your text will look something like:
H
E
Y.
7. Make everything a hashtag.
Throw in some random hashtags that don’t really make sense.
Hashtags make every sentence a little more exciting. Pick a random word in your text that you’d like to hashtag, then use it like it’s completely normal.
“Hey, how’s it #going? I’m eating a #sandwich.”
“Wanna watch a #movie later?”
“I gotta go, I’m falling #asleep.”
8. Sprinkle in random emojis.
Pick emojis that don’t match the tone of your conversation.
If she’s telling you something mundane, like how her day is going, throw in a laughing emoji or the poop emoji. She’s sure to be confused, and she’ll probably be even more irritated if you decide not to explain what you’re doing.
Try out other random emojis, like 😈, ✨, 🗿, 🅱️, 🦄.
9. Send her some dad jokes.
Annoying jokes like these are sure to make her groan.
Fire up your dad brain and think of the most ridiculous, unfunny jokes you can. Then, send them to her, and don’t stop sending them (even if she begs you not to).
“What did the ocean say to the beach?" "Nothing, it just waved."
“I’m afraid of my calendar. It says my days are numbered.”
“I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless."
10. Correct her grammar.
It’s super annoying to get corrected by your partner.
If she messes up a word or picks the wrong “your,” be sure to point it out instead of responding to her message. She’ll be so irritated, she won’t know what to do!
“Actually, it’s you’re.”
“*Their.”
11. Forward her a chain message.
Those annoying chain messages are very irritating to receive.
Find a chain message that tells you to forward it to 10 friends, then send it to your girlfriend. Bonus points if you do it right in the middle of your conversation! Try a message like:
“It’s monday ✌️the start↗️of a new✅ week mondays✏️are✏️HARD ‼️send this↗️▶️▶️to 6 HOMIES to make them have a GOOD Monday. DON’T BREAK THE CHAIN or else you’ll have a BAD monday.⏩⏩⏩GO⏪⏪⏪”
12. Abbreviate everything you say.
Make up new abbreviations so she won’t know what they mean.
Instead of “How are you?” try, “HAY?” When she inevitably asks what you mean, explain it to her like she should know what you’re talking about. Try out other weird abbreviations, like:
“WU?” (What’s up?)
“WHOL?” (Wanna hang out later?)
“LGL.” (Let’s get lunch.)
13. Send a ton of texts at once.
The constant buzzing of her phone is sure to be super irritating.
If she hasn’t texted you back in a while or you know she’s busy, send her 10 or 15 texts in a row begging her to text you back. When she finally does, she’ll probably be very annoyed.
You could send messages like, “Babe?” “Baby?” “Why aren’t you replying?” “Are you busy?”
14. Sign her up for cat facts.
Randomly text her facts about cats to make her super confused.
Pretend like you’re a bot who has been assigned to text her cat facts, then don’t stop, even when she asks you to. She’ll likely be pretty frustrated by the end of it, especially if you keep it up for a few hours. Text her things like:
“You’ve been signed up for cat facts! Did you know that all cats have 2 eyes and 4 legs? Press STOP to stop receiving cat facts.”
“Thanks for signing up for cat facts! There are over 100 breeds of domestic cats in the world. Reply with STOP to opt out.”
Tips
Make sure your girlfriend is in a good mood before trying to annoy her! Otherwise, she might not think your antics are very funny.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:45:58",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Reply with “K.”\\nThis response will make it sound like you’re blowing her off.\\nNo one likes to get a “K” message, especially not from their S.O. If she just told you something funny or wrote out a big message, hit her with a “K” to leave her feeling irritated.\\n“Ok” and “Okay” work too!\\n2. Respond with one word.\\nMake her think that you’re totally uninterested in your convo.\\nIf your girlfriend just wrote out multiple texts or a huge paragraph, read the entire thing, then respond with “haha” or “nice.”\\nYou could also try “lol” or “cool.”\\n3. Leave her on read.\\nNot responding is one of the most annoying things you could do.\\nIf you two are having a lively texting conversation, stop in the middle of it and just don’t reply. She’ll probably be annoyed and wonder why you stopped texting her or what you’re doing.\\n4. Respond with pictures.\\nSpamming her with pics instead of texts is sure to make her annoyed.\\nWhen she texts you, pick a funny photo out of your library and send that instead. If she questions it or asks why you sent that, pick another silly photo to send. Keep it up until she’s raging mad!\\nYou could also use funny gifs or short videos if you have them on hand.\\nOr, try sending her a gif of the iMessage typing bubble. It will look like you’re crafting a long message, when in reality, you aren’t texting her back at all.\\n5. Make up a new word.\\nAct like it’s a totally normal word to use in everyday sentences.\\nCome up with something funny, like “glorb” or “grunkle.” Then, throw it into conversation and act totally normal when she texts back confused. Try something like:\\n“Hey, have you seen my glorb anywhere?”\\n“Would you mind bringing my grunkle when you come over later?”\\n6. Text each letter individually.\\nSend her a string of messages spelling out what you want to say.\\nThis will fill up her phone with texts, and it will probably make her pretty mad! Your text will look something like:\\nH\\nE\\nY.\\n7. Make everything a hashtag.\\nThrow in some random hashtags that don’t really make sense.\\nHashtags make every sentence a little more exciting. Pick a random word in your text that you’d like to hashtag, then use it like it’s completely normal.\\n“Hey, how’s it #going? I’m eating a #sandwich.”\\n“Wanna watch a #movie later?”\\n“I gotta go, I’m falling #asleep.”\\n8. Sprinkle in random emojis.\\nPick emojis that don’t match the tone of your conversation.\\nIf she’s telling you something mundane, like how her day is going, throw in a laughing emoji or the poop emoji. She’s sure to be confused, and she’ll probably be even more irritated if you decide not to explain what you’re doing.\\nTry out other random emojis, like 😈, ✨, 🗿, 🅱️, 🦄.\\n9. Send her some dad jokes.\\nAnnoying jokes like these are sure to make her groan.\\nFire up your dad brain and think of the most ridiculous, unfunny jokes you can. Then, send them to her, and don’t stop sending them (even if she begs you not to).\\n“What did the ocean say to the beach?\\\" \\\"Nothing, it just waved.\\\"\\n“I’m afraid of my calendar. It says my days are numbered.”\\n“I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.\\\"\\n10. Correct her grammar.\\nIt’s super annoying to get corrected by your partner.\\nIf she messes up a word or picks the wrong “your,” be sure to point it out instead of responding to her message. She’ll be so irritated, she won’t know what to do!\\n“Actually, it’s you’re.”\\n“*Their.”\\n11. Forward her a chain message.\\nThose annoying chain messages are very irritating to receive.\\nFind a chain message that tells you to forward it to 10 friends, then send it to your girlfriend. Bonus points if you do it right in the middle of your conversation! Try a message like:\\n“It’s monday ✌️the start↗️of a new✅ week mondays✏️are✏️HARD ‼️send this↗️▶️▶️to 6 HOMIES to make them have a GOOD Monday. DON’T BREAK THE CHAIN or else you’ll have a BAD monday.⏩⏩⏩GO⏪⏪⏪”\\n12. Abbreviate everything you say.\\nMake up new abbreviations so she won’t know what they mean.\\nInstead of “How are you?” try, “HAY?” When she inevitably asks what you mean, explain it to her like she should know what you’re talking about. Try out other weird abbreviations, like:\\n“WU?” (What’s up?)\\n“WHOL?” (Wanna hang out later?)\\n“LGL.” (Let’s get lunch.)\\n13. Send a ton of texts at once.\\nThe constant buzzing of her phone is sure to be super irritating.\\nIf she hasn’t texted you back in a while or you know she’s busy, send her 10 or 15 texts in a row begging her to text you back. When she finally does, she’ll probably be very annoyed.\\nYou could send messages like, “Babe?” “Baby?” “Why aren’t you replying?” “Are you busy?”\\n14. Sign her up for cat facts.\\nRandomly text her facts about cats to make her super confused.\\nPretend like you’re a bot who has been assigned to text her cat facts, then don’t stop, even when she asks you to. She’ll likely be pretty frustrated by the end of it, especially if you keep it up for a few hours. Text her things like:\\n“You’ve been signed up for cat facts! Did you know that all cats have 2 eyes and 4 legs? Press STOP to stop receiving cat facts.”\\n“Thanks for signing up for cat facts! There are over 100 breeds of domestic cats in the world. Reply with STOP to opt out.”\\nTips\\nMake sure your girlfriend is in a good mood before trying to annoy her! Otherwise, she might not think your antics are very funny.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Getting on your girlfriend’s nerves is half the fun in a relationship. But when you aren’t with her in person, how are you supposed to irritate her? Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. In this article, we’ll tell you all the funny ways you can irritate your girlfriend through text to keep you laughing all day.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Reply with “K.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This response will make it sound like you’re blowing her off.\", \"描述\": \"No one likes to get a “K” message, especially not from their S.O. If she just told you something funny or wrote out a big message, hit her with a “K” to leave her feeling irritated.\\n“Ok” and “Okay” work too!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Respond with one word.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make her think that you’re totally uninterested in your convo.\", \"描述\": \"If your girlfriend just wrote out multiple texts or a huge paragraph, read the entire thing, then respond with “haha” or “nice.”\\nYou could also try “lol” or “cool.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Leave her on read.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Not responding is one of the most annoying things you could do.\", \"描述\": \"If you two are having a lively texting conversation, stop in the middle of it and just don’t reply. She’ll probably be annoyed and wonder why you stopped texting her or what you’re doing.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Respond with pictures.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Spamming her with pics instead of texts is sure to make her annoyed.\", \"描述\": \"When she texts you, pick a funny photo out of your library and send that instead. If she questions it or asks why you sent that, pick another silly photo to send. Keep it up until she’s raging mad!\\nYou could also use funny gifs or short videos if you have them on hand.\\nOr, try sending her a gif of the iMessage typing bubble. It will look like you’re crafting a long message, when in reality, you aren’t texting her back at all.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make up a new word.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Act like it’s a totally normal word to use in everyday sentences.\", \"描述\": \"Come up with something funny, like “glorb” or “grunkle.” Then, throw it into conversation and act totally normal when she texts back confused. Try something like:\\n“Hey, have you seen my glorb anywhere?”\\n“Would you mind bringing my grunkle when you come over later?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Text each letter individually.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Send her a string of messages spelling out what you want to say.\", \"描述\": \"This will fill up her phone with texts, and it will probably make her pretty mad! Your text will look something like:\\nH\\nE\\nY.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Make everything a hashtag.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Throw in some random hashtags that don’t really make sense.\", \"描述\": \"Hashtags make every sentence a little more exciting. Pick a random word in your text that you’d like to hashtag, then use it like it’s completely normal.\\n“Hey, how’s it #going? I’m eating a #sandwich.”\\n“Wanna watch a #movie later?”\\n“I gotta go, I’m falling #asleep.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Sprinkle in random emojis.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pick emojis that don’t match the tone of your conversation.\", \"描述\": \"If she’s telling you something mundane, like how her day is going, throw in a laughing emoji or the poop emoji. She’s sure to be confused, and she’ll probably be even more irritated if you decide not to explain what you’re doing.\\nTry out other random emojis, like 😈, ✨, 🗿, 🅱️, 🦄.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Send her some dad jokes.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Annoying jokes like these are sure to make her groan.\", \"描述\": \"Fire up your dad brain and think of the most ridiculous, unfunny jokes you can. Then, send them to her, and don’t stop sending them (even if she begs you not to).\\n“What did the ocean say to the beach?\\\" \\\"Nothing, it just waved.\\\"\\n“I’m afraid of my calendar. It says my days are numbered.”\\n“I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Correct her grammar.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It’s super annoying to get corrected by your partner.\", \"描述\": \"If she messes up a word or picks the wrong “your,” be sure to point it out instead of responding to her message. She’ll be so irritated, she won’t know what to do!\\n“Actually, it’s you’re.”\\n“*Their.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Forward her a chain message.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Those annoying chain messages are very irritating to receive.\", \"描述\": \"Find a chain message that tells you to forward it to 10 friends, then send it to your girlfriend. Bonus points if you do it right in the middle of your conversation! Try a message like:\\n“It’s monday ✌️the start↗️of a new✅ week mondays✏️are✏️HARD ‼️send this↗️▶️▶️to 6 HOMIES to make them have a GOOD Monday. DON’T BREAK THE CHAIN or else you’ll have a BAD monday.⏩⏩⏩GO⏪⏪⏪”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Abbreviate everything you say.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make up new abbreviations so she won’t know what they mean.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of “How are you?” try, “HAY?” When she inevitably asks what you mean, explain it to her like she should know what you’re talking about. Try out other weird abbreviations, like:\\n“WU?” (What’s up?)\\n“WHOL?” (Wanna hang out later?)\\n“LGL.” (Let’s get lunch.)\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Send a ton of texts at once.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"The constant buzzing of her phone is sure to be super irritating.\", \"描述\": \"If she hasn’t texted you back in a while or you know she’s busy, send her 10 or 15 texts in a row begging her to text you back. When she finally does, she’ll probably be very annoyed.\\nYou could send messages like, “Babe?” “Baby?” “Why aren’t you replying?” “Are you busy?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Sign her up for cat facts.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Randomly text her facts about cats to make her super confused.\", \"描述\": \"Pretend like you’re a bot who has been assigned to text her cat facts, then don’t stop, even when she asks you to. She’ll likely be pretty frustrated by the end of it, especially if you keep it up for a few hours. Text her things like:\\n“You’ve been signed up for cat facts! Did you know that all cats have 2 eyes and 4 legs? Press STOP to stop receiving cat facts.”\\n“Thanks for signing up for cat facts! There are over 100 breeds of domestic cats in the world. Reply with STOP to opt out.”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Make sure your girlfriend is in a good mood before trying to annoy her! Otherwise, she might not think your antics are very funny.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,716 | How to Annoy Your Siblings | 1. Pestering Your Siblings
1-1. Follow your sibling around wherever they go.
If they ask what you’re doing, just ignore them or say, “Nothing.” If they leave the house, follow them outside. If they lock themselves in a room, wait outside the door and keep reminding them you’re there. Every few minutes, say something like “Hey, I’m still here. I haven’t left, don’t worry!”
If your parents walk in, pretend you’re going to your room or grabbing a snack from the kitchen or something.
1-2. Repeat everything they say in a high-pitched voice.
If they catch on and ask what you’re doing, just repeat the question back to them. If they get frustrated and say, “You’re so annoying, stop it,” say “You’re so annoying, stop it” back to them in a high-pitched voice. Also, if they say something like "I'm an idiot!" thinking you will repeat this, change it to "You're an idiot!" It will drive them nuts!
1-3. Steal food off their plate at dinner when they’re not looking.
Wait until they notice some of their food is missing and then pretend you have no idea what they’re talking about. If they’re not catching on, say “Woah, slow down. Why are you eating so fast?”
Make sure you’re sneaky so your parents don’t catch you!
1-4. Bother them when they’re around their friends.
If they’re watching TV with their friends, stand in front of the TV so they can’t see and demand attention. If they’re hanging out in their room with their friends, bang on the door until they let you in. If they don’t, slip notes under the door with random words or drawings on them. Eventually, they might give up and let you join them.
If nothing else is working, get out old photo albums and show your sibling’s friends embarrassing pictures of your sibling as a baby.
2. Playing Pranks
2-1. Hide your sibling’s phone and then text or call it.
Wait until they’re distracted watching TV or doing homework and then grab their phone without them noticing. Hide it in a spot that will take them forever to find. Then, call their phone so it starts ringing, and keep calling it over and over again while they run around looking for it. The longer it takes them to find it, the more annoyed they’ll be!
Try hiding it in a box of food in a cupboard or all the way in the back of a drawer.
Hide it somewhere that muffles the sound so it takes them forever to find it.
2-2. Hide in their room and jump out and scare them.
Go underneath their bed or get in their closet when they’re not around. Then, when they come in their room and get settled in, pop out and yell something loud like “Gotcha!”
If you’re hiding under their bed, you can reach out and grab their leg when they walk by to scare them.
2-3. Turn off the WiFi when they’re using their computer.
Find the modem in your house and unplug it. Then, wait for your sibling to start asking questions — when they do, pretend you don’t know what they’re talking about. Tell them the WiFi is working just fine for you. They’ll end up thinking there’s something wrong with their computer! Just remember, this will mess up the WiFi for you and everyone else in the house too.
After 10 or 15 minutes, fill them in on your prank. Say something like “Oh yeah, I forgot I unplugged the WiFi. Whoops!”
Make sure your parents aren’t using the WiFi or you could get in trouble!
2-4. Rearrange their room when they’re not home.
Move their furniture around so it's all in different places. Take everything off their shelves and desk and reorganize them in funny ways. You can even take the posters on their walls down and put them back up somewhere else. Try to be as quick as possible so they don't come home and catch you!
Remake their bed so the pillows are at the bottom of the bed where their feet usually go.
You can also turn any chairs in their room upside down.
3. Being Loud and Obnoxious
3-1. Wake your sibling up early in the morning with a loud noise.
Sneak into their room while they’re asleep and get close to their ear. Then, clap your hands together or yell to wake them up. As soon as they wake up, run into your room and jump in your bed. When they confront you about it, just say “I never did that. You must have been dreaming."
Bring a metal spoon or pot with you and bang them together if you want to be extra annoying.
3-2. Blast a song they don’t like really loudly on speakers.
Set up the speakers in whatever room they’re in so it’s extra loud. If they lock themselves in their room, set up the speakers in the hallway outside. Save this for when your parents aren’t home so you don’t disturb them and get in trouble.
If your sibling hates country music, find a country song and play it loudly on repeat.
Blasting classical music might be a great way to drive your sibling mad.
3-3. Shout in their ear when they’re talking on the phone.
Sneak up behind them and yell in their ear so they can’t hear the person they’re talking to. If they walk away, follow them and keep doing it. If you want to distract them even more, poke them while you’re doing it — they’ll only have one free hand to stop you.
3-4. Sing a song over and over again in front of them.
Don’t acknowledge them while you’re doing it — just keep singing as you’re doing your own thing. Sing a song that’s repetitive and monotone so it’s even more annoying. Eventually, they’ll get super annoyed with you.
If you want to be extra annoying, don’t even sing the whole song. Just sing one line of the song over and over again, like “Mary had a little lamb, Mary had a little lamb, Mary had a little lamb…”
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:45:58",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Pestering Your Siblings\\n1-1. Follow your sibling around wherever they go.\\nIf they ask what you’re doing, just ignore them or say, “Nothing.” If they leave the house, follow them outside. If they lock themselves in a room, wait outside the door and keep reminding them you’re there. Every few minutes, say something like “Hey, I’m still here. I haven’t left, don’t worry!”\\nIf your parents walk in, pretend you’re going to your room or grabbing a snack from the kitchen or something.\\n1-2. Repeat everything they say in a high-pitched voice.\\nIf they catch on and ask what you’re doing, just repeat the question back to them. If they get frustrated and say, “You’re so annoying, stop it,” say “You’re so annoying, stop it” back to them in a high-pitched voice. Also, if they say something like \\\"I'm an idiot!\\\" thinking you will repeat this, change it to \\\"You're an idiot!\\\" It will drive them nuts!\\n1-3. Steal food off their plate at dinner when they’re not looking.\\nWait until they notice some of their food is missing and then pretend you have no idea what they’re talking about. If they’re not catching on, say “Woah, slow down. Why are you eating so fast?”\\nMake sure you’re sneaky so your parents don’t catch you!\\n1-4. Bother them when they’re around their friends.\\nIf they’re watching TV with their friends, stand in front of the TV so they can’t see and demand attention. If they’re hanging out in their room with their friends, bang on the door until they let you in. If they don’t, slip notes under the door with random words or drawings on them. Eventually, they might give up and let you join them.\\nIf nothing else is working, get out old photo albums and show your sibling’s friends embarrassing pictures of your sibling as a baby.\\n2. Playing Pranks\\n2-1. Hide your sibling’s phone and then text or call it.\\nWait until they’re distracted watching TV or doing homework and then grab their phone without them noticing. Hide it in a spot that will take them forever to find. Then, call their phone so it starts ringing, and keep calling it over and over again while they run around looking for it. The longer it takes them to find it, the more annoyed they’ll be!\\nTry hiding it in a box of food in a cupboard or all the way in the back of a drawer.\\nHide it somewhere that muffles the sound so it takes them forever to find it.\\n2-2. Hide in their room and jump out and scare them.\\nGo underneath their bed or get in their closet when they’re not around. Then, when they come in their room and get settled in, pop out and yell something loud like “Gotcha!”\\nIf you’re hiding under their bed, you can reach out and grab their leg when they walk by to scare them.\\n2-3. Turn off the WiFi when they’re using their computer.\\nFind the modem in your house and unplug it. Then, wait for your sibling to start asking questions — when they do, pretend you don’t know what they’re talking about. Tell them the WiFi is working just fine for you. They’ll end up thinking there’s something wrong with their computer! Just remember, this will mess up the WiFi for you and everyone else in the house too.\\nAfter 10 or 15 minutes, fill them in on your prank. Say something like “Oh yeah, I forgot I unplugged the WiFi. Whoops!”\\nMake sure your parents aren’t using the WiFi or you could get in trouble!\\n2-4. Rearrange their room when they’re not home.\\nMove their furniture around so it's all in different places. Take everything off their shelves and desk and reorganize them in funny ways. You can even take the posters on their walls down and put them back up somewhere else. Try to be as quick as possible so they don't come home and catch you!\\nRemake their bed so the pillows are at the bottom of the bed where their feet usually go.\\nYou can also turn any chairs in their room upside down.\\n3. Being Loud and Obnoxious\\n3-1. Wake your sibling up early in the morning with a loud noise.\\nSneak into their room while they’re asleep and get close to their ear. Then, clap your hands together or yell to wake them up. As soon as they wake up, run into your room and jump in your bed. When they confront you about it, just say “I never did that. You must have been dreaming.\\\"\\nBring a metal spoon or pot with you and bang them together if you want to be extra annoying.\\n3-2. Blast a song they don’t like really loudly on speakers.\\nSet up the speakers in whatever room they’re in so it’s extra loud. If they lock themselves in their room, set up the speakers in the hallway outside. Save this for when your parents aren’t home so you don’t disturb them and get in trouble.\\nIf your sibling hates country music, find a country song and play it loudly on repeat.\\nBlasting classical music might be a great way to drive your sibling mad.\\n3-3. Shout in their ear when they’re talking on the phone.\\nSneak up behind them and yell in their ear so they can’t hear the person they’re talking to. If they walk away, follow them and keep doing it. If you want to distract them even more, poke them while you’re doing it — they’ll only have one free hand to stop you.\\n3-4. Sing a song over and over again in front of them.\\nDon’t acknowledge them while you’re doing it — just keep singing as you’re doing your own thing. Sing a song that’s repetitive and monotone so it’s even more annoying. Eventually, they’ll get super annoyed with you.\\nIf you want to be extra annoying, don’t even sing the whole song. Just sing one line of the song over and over again, like “Mary had a little lamb, Mary had a little lamb, Mary had a little lamb…”\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Siblings can be your most loyal friends, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t fun to occasionally annoy them. If you want to have some good old-fashioned fun and annoy your sibling, there are lots of different ways you can do it. Just be careful, your siblings might turn around and do the same things to you!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pestering Your Siblings\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Follow your sibling around wherever they go.\", \"描述\": \"If they ask what you’re doing, just ignore them or say, “Nothing.” If they leave the house, follow them outside. If they lock themselves in a room, wait outside the door and keep reminding them you’re there. Every few minutes, say something like “Hey, I’m still here. I haven’t left, don’t worry!”\\nIf your parents walk in, pretend you’re going to your room or grabbing a snack from the kitchen or something.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Repeat everything they say in a high-pitched voice.\", \"描述\": \"If they catch on and ask what you’re doing, just repeat the question back to them. If they get frustrated and say, “You’re so annoying, stop it,” say “You’re so annoying, stop it” back to them in a high-pitched voice. Also, if they say something like \\\"I'm an idiot!\\\" thinking you will repeat this, change it to \\\"You're an idiot!\\\" It will drive them nuts!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Steal food off their plate at dinner when they’re not looking.\", \"描述\": \"Wait until they notice some of their food is missing and then pretend you have no idea what they’re talking about. If they’re not catching on, say “Woah, slow down. Why are you eating so fast?”\\nMake sure you’re sneaky so your parents don’t catch you!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Bother them when they’re around their friends.\", \"描述\": \"If they’re watching TV with their friends, stand in front of the TV so they can’t see and demand attention. If they’re hanging out in their room with their friends, bang on the door until they let you in. If they don’t, slip notes under the door with random words or drawings on them. Eventually, they might give up and let you join them.\\nIf nothing else is working, get out old photo albums and show your sibling’s friends embarrassing pictures of your sibling as a baby.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Playing Pranks\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Hide your sibling’s phone and then text or call it.\", \"描述\": \"Wait until they’re distracted watching TV or doing homework and then grab their phone without them noticing. Hide it in a spot that will take them forever to find. Then, call their phone so it starts ringing, and keep calling it over and over again while they run around looking for it. The longer it takes them to find it, the more annoyed they’ll be!\\nTry hiding it in a box of food in a cupboard or all the way in the back of a drawer.\\nHide it somewhere that muffles the sound so it takes them forever to find it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Hide in their room and jump out and scare them.\", \"描述\": \"Go underneath their bed or get in their closet when they’re not around. Then, when they come in their room and get settled in, pop out and yell something loud like “Gotcha!”\\nIf you’re hiding under their bed, you can reach out and grab their leg when they walk by to scare them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Turn off the WiFi when they’re using their computer.\", \"描述\": \"Find the modem in your house and unplug it. Then, wait for your sibling to start asking questions — when they do, pretend you don’t know what they’re talking about. Tell them the WiFi is working just fine for you. They’ll end up thinking there’s something wrong with their computer! Just remember, this will mess up the WiFi for you and everyone else in the house too.\\nAfter 10 or 15 minutes, fill them in on your prank. Say something like “Oh yeah, I forgot I unplugged the WiFi. Whoops!”\\nMake sure your parents aren’t using the WiFi or you could get in trouble!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Rearrange their room when they’re not home.\", \"描述\": \"Move their furniture around so it's all in different places. Take everything off their shelves and desk and reorganize them in funny ways. You can even take the posters on their walls down and put them back up somewhere else. Try to be as quick as possible so they don't come home and catch you!\\nRemake their bed so the pillows are at the bottom of the bed where their feet usually go.\\nYou can also turn any chairs in their room upside down.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Loud and Obnoxious\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wake your sibling up early in the morning with a loud noise.\", \"描述\": \"Sneak into their room while they’re asleep and get close to their ear. Then, clap your hands together or yell to wake them up. As soon as they wake up, run into your room and jump in your bed. When they confront you about it, just say “I never did that. You must have been dreaming.\\\"\\nBring a metal spoon or pot with you and bang them together if you want to be extra annoying.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Blast a song they don’t like really loudly on speakers.\", \"描述\": \"Set up the speakers in whatever room they’re in so it’s extra loud. If they lock themselves in their room, set up the speakers in the hallway outside. Save this for when your parents aren’t home so you don’t disturb them and get in trouble.\\nIf your sibling hates country music, find a country song and play it loudly on repeat.\\nBlasting classical music might be a great way to drive your sibling mad.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Shout in their ear when they’re talking on the phone.\", \"描述\": \"Sneak up behind them and yell in their ear so they can’t hear the person they’re talking to. If they walk away, follow them and keep doing it. If you want to distract them even more, poke them while you’re doing it — they’ll only have one free hand to stop you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Sing a song over and over again in front of them.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t acknowledge them while you’re doing it — just keep singing as you’re doing your own thing. Sing a song that’s repetitive and monotone so it’s even more annoying. Eventually, they’ll get super annoyed with you.\\nIf you want to be extra annoying, don’t even sing the whole song. Just sing one line of the song over and over again, like “Mary had a little lamb, Mary had a little lamb, Mary had a little lamb…”\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,717 | How to Annualize | 1. Annualizing Your Income
1-1. Gather income reports for 2 or 3 months.
To annualize your income, you need a sample of the income you earn over a year. You can get this from paystubs, paid invoices, or even your bank statement.
If your income is extremely regular, you may not need more than a month of income to complete an annualization.
If you receive income from multiple sources, make sure you have information for all sources you want to include.
1-2. Total your income for the period.
It's easiest to annualize income using months. Add up your income from all sources to get your total income for that period of time. Make a note of how many months of income you used to get that total.
For example, suppose you have 3 monthly paychecks of $7,000, $6,500, and $6,800. Your total would be $20,300 of income over a 3-month period.
1-3. Divide the number of months in a year by the months of income.
To annualize your income, use the ratio of the number of months in a year (12) over the number of months in the period you used to get your total. When you divide, your result will always be a number greater than 1.
For example, if you totaled your income over 3 months, your ratio would be 12/3 = 4.
1-4. Multiply your total income by the result of the ratio.
Once you've divided the ratio, multiple the total income you found for the period by that number. The result will be the estimated amount of income you earn in a year.
For example, if your total income over a 3-month period was $20,300, your annualized income would be $20,300 x 4 = $81,200.
You may not have to annualize your income to pay estimated taxes. For example, in the US, you pay estimated taxes based on your actual income for that quarter – not what you project you'll earn later.
2. Determining an Annualized Rate of Return
2-1. Familiarize yourself with the formula.
The formula to calculate an annualized rate of return (ARR) may look fairly intimidating at first. However, once you break it down into pieces, it's not as difficult as it looks.
The full formula is ARR = (1 + rate of return per period) – 1. The 1 simply turns a percentage into a whole number so you can compound it. That's why it's subtracted at the end to get your final rate.
Essentially, all you do is compound the rate of return by the number of periods. If you have a monthly rate of return, you would compound the rate by 12. A weekly return would be compounded by 52, while a daily return would be compounded by 365.
2-2. Calculate your rate of return.
To calculate the rate of return on your investment, subtract the ending value of your investment from the beginning value of your investment, then divide that number by the beginning value of your investment. Multiply the result by 100 to get your rate of return.
For example, if you set up a portfolio with $10,000, and it now has a balance of $11,025, you have a total gain of $1,025. According to the equation, your rate of return is (11,025 – 10,000 / $10,000) x 100 = 10.25%.
2-3. Determine the period to which your rate of return applies.
Quantify the period of time over which you had the gain. Then divide (usually 365, the number of days in a year) by that number to find out how many of those periods are in one year.
For example, suppose you had a 10.25% rate of return on an investment that was 65 days old. The number of 65-day periods in a year is 365 / 65 = 5.615.
If your rate of return happened to be a single day or a single month, you can skip this step and compound your rate of return by 365 (days) or 12 (months).
2-4. Compound your rate of return by the number of periods in a year.
Place the number of periods in a year in the formula to annualize your rate of return. Complete the calculation using the x button on your calculator.
For example, your equation for the ARR continuing the example would be (1 + 0.1025) – 1 = 0.7296 or 72.96%. Your annualized rate of return on the investment, therefore, is 72.96%.
There are significant limitations to an annualized rate of return. Specifically, you have no guarantee that you'll be able to continually reinvest the money at the same rate.
3. Creating a Yearly Budget
3-1. Gather records of financial transactions for a 2- or 3-month period.
Typically, a few months of bank statements is all you need to annualize expenses and create a yearly budget. If you frequently use a credit card, get copies of your credit card statements for the same month.
Use income and expenses across the same time period. In other words, if you annualize 3 months of income you should also annualize 3 months of expenses.
3-2. Annualize your income.
Total your income over 2 or 3 months. Then multiply that total by the ratio of the number of months in a year over the number of months of income. This provides you with the amount of income you make each year.
For example, suppose you have 3 monthly paychecks of $4,200, $5,100, and $4,700, for a total of $14,000. Your annualized income would be $14,000 x 12/3 = $14,000 x 4 = $56,000.
Be sure to include any other sources of income in your equation. If you have any money that you only receive once a year, such as a bonus, you can simply add it into your annualized income.
3-3. Organize your expenses into categories.
You can make as many categories as you want. A broad category, such as "bills," likely won't be very helpful if you want to figure out where your money's going. On the other hand, too many individual categories add work and can get confusing.
For example, you might have categories such as "house payment," "utilities," and "car." Under "utilities," you would include bills such as electricity, gas, telephone, trash, and water and sewer. Under "car," you might include your car payment, car insurance, and fuel.
If there are specific expenses that you think are getting out of control, or that you want to keep particular tabs on, make them their own category. For example, assume you believe that you're spending too much money buying lattes from the café near your work. You might create a "latte" category specifically for that expense.
3-4. Identify the time period for each expense.
To annualize your data, you have to know how often the expense occurs. Many recurring bills are monthly. However, you may have some that are every other month, every quarter, or only twice a year.
You'll also have expenses that are daily or weekly, or that happen a few days a week. For example, if you get fuel for your car once every other week, the time period for that expense for the purposes of your annualization equation would be 52 / 2 = 26.
Expenses that only occur once or twice a year don't have to be annualized. Simply add them into your annualized total.
3-5. Annualize expenses based on the data you have.
Take the same formula you used to annualize your income and use it to annualize your expenses. Then total the annualized expenses in each category.
If you have several expenses in one category that all have the same time period, you can annualize them together. For example, if your car payment and your car insurance payment are both monthly expenses, you could total them and only make one calculation.
3-6. Make adjustments where necessary to balance your budget.
Financial experts recommend budgeting your money so that 50% of your income goes towards necessities, 20% towards things that you want, and 20% towards savings for the future. Organize your categories into these broader categories and see how your annualized numbers compare.
If this is your first time doing an annualized budget, you may find that the proportions are far off track from where they need to be. Balancing a budget takes time and effort.
Identify problem expenses that you think you can decrease or eliminate entirely. For example, if you have a subscription to a magazine that you never read, you can save that cost by simply canceling the subscription.
3-7. Create a new budget based on your results.
Once you've made your adjustments, take your annualized income and divide it by 12 to figure out how much money you have to work with each month. Then put in your expenses.
For expenses that only occur once or twice a year, divide the total expense by 12 to determine the amount of money you should put towards that expense each month so that you're ready to pay it when it's due. For example, if you pay $300 in renter's insurance once a year, you would need to put away or earmark $25 each month.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:45:59",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Annualizing Your Income\\n1-1. Gather income reports for 2 or 3 months.\\nTo annualize your income, you need a sample of the income you earn over a year. You can get this from paystubs, paid invoices, or even your bank statement.\\nIf your income is extremely regular, you may not need more than a month of income to complete an annualization.\\nIf you receive income from multiple sources, make sure you have information for all sources you want to include.\\n1-2. Total your income for the period.\\nIt's easiest to annualize income using months. Add up your income from all sources to get your total income for that period of time. Make a note of how many months of income you used to get that total.\\nFor example, suppose you have 3 monthly paychecks of $7,000, $6,500, and $6,800. Your total would be $20,300 of income over a 3-month period.\\n1-3. Divide the number of months in a year by the months of income.\\nTo annualize your income, use the ratio of the number of months in a year (12) over the number of months in the period you used to get your total. When you divide, your result will always be a number greater than 1.\\nFor example, if you totaled your income over 3 months, your ratio would be 12/3 = 4.\\n1-4. Multiply your total income by the result of the ratio.\\nOnce you've divided the ratio, multiple the total income you found for the period by that number. The result will be the estimated amount of income you earn in a year.\\nFor example, if your total income over a 3-month period was $20,300, your annualized income would be $20,300 x 4 = $81,200.\\nYou may not have to annualize your income to pay estimated taxes. For example, in the US, you pay estimated taxes based on your actual income for that quarter – not what you project you'll earn later.\\n2. Determining an Annualized Rate of Return\\n2-1. Familiarize yourself with the formula.\\nThe formula to calculate an annualized rate of return (ARR) may look fairly intimidating at first. However, once you break it down into pieces, it's not as difficult as it looks.\\nThe full formula is ARR = (1 + rate of return per period) – 1. The 1 simply turns a percentage into a whole number so you can compound it. That's why it's subtracted at the end to get your final rate.\\nEssentially, all you do is compound the rate of return by the number of periods. If you have a monthly rate of return, you would compound the rate by 12. A weekly return would be compounded by 52, while a daily return would be compounded by 365.\\n2-2. Calculate your rate of return.\\nTo calculate the rate of return on your investment, subtract the ending value of your investment from the beginning value of your investment, then divide that number by the beginning value of your investment. Multiply the result by 100 to get your rate of return.\\nFor example, if you set up a portfolio with $10,000, and it now has a balance of $11,025, you have a total gain of $1,025. According to the equation, your rate of return is (11,025 – 10,000 / $10,000) x 100 = 10.25%.\\n2-3. Determine the period to which your rate of return applies.\\nQuantify the period of time over which you had the gain. Then divide (usually 365, the number of days in a year) by that number to find out how many of those periods are in one year.\\nFor example, suppose you had a 10.25% rate of return on an investment that was 65 days old. The number of 65-day periods in a year is 365 / 65 = 5.615.\\nIf your rate of return happened to be a single day or a single month, you can skip this step and compound your rate of return by 365 (days) or 12 (months).\\n2-4. Compound your rate of return by the number of periods in a year.\\nPlace the number of periods in a year in the formula to annualize your rate of return. Complete the calculation using the x button on your calculator.\\nFor example, your equation for the ARR continuing the example would be (1 + 0.1025) – 1 = 0.7296 or 72.96%. Your annualized rate of return on the investment, therefore, is 72.96%.\\nThere are significant limitations to an annualized rate of return. Specifically, you have no guarantee that you'll be able to continually reinvest the money at the same rate.\\n3. Creating a Yearly Budget\\n3-1. Gather records of financial transactions for a 2- or 3-month period.\\nTypically, a few months of bank statements is all you need to annualize expenses and create a yearly budget. If you frequently use a credit card, get copies of your credit card statements for the same month.\\nUse income and expenses across the same time period. In other words, if you annualize 3 months of income you should also annualize 3 months of expenses.\\n3-2. Annualize your income.\\nTotal your income over 2 or 3 months. Then multiply that total by the ratio of the number of months in a year over the number of months of income. This provides you with the amount of income you make each year.\\nFor example, suppose you have 3 monthly paychecks of $4,200, $5,100, and $4,700, for a total of $14,000. Your annualized income would be $14,000 x 12/3 = $14,000 x 4 = $56,000.\\nBe sure to include any other sources of income in your equation. If you have any money that you only receive once a year, such as a bonus, you can simply add it into your annualized income.\\n3-3. Organize your expenses into categories.\\nYou can make as many categories as you want. A broad category, such as \\\"bills,\\\" likely won't be very helpful if you want to figure out where your money's going. On the other hand, too many individual categories add work and can get confusing.\\nFor example, you might have categories such as \\\"house payment,\\\" \\\"utilities,\\\" and \\\"car.\\\" Under \\\"utilities,\\\" you would include bills such as electricity, gas, telephone, trash, and water and sewer. Under \\\"car,\\\" you might include your car payment, car insurance, and fuel.\\nIf there are specific expenses that you think are getting out of control, or that you want to keep particular tabs on, make them their own category. For example, assume you believe that you're spending too much money buying lattes from the café near your work. You might create a \\\"latte\\\" category specifically for that expense.\\n3-4. Identify the time period for each expense.\\nTo annualize your data, you have to know how often the expense occurs. Many recurring bills are monthly. However, you may have some that are every other month, every quarter, or only twice a year.\\nYou'll also have expenses that are daily or weekly, or that happen a few days a week. For example, if you get fuel for your car once every other week, the time period for that expense for the purposes of your annualization equation would be 52 / 2 = 26.\\nExpenses that only occur once or twice a year don't have to be annualized. Simply add them into your annualized total.\\n3-5. Annualize expenses based on the data you have.\\nTake the same formula you used to annualize your income and use it to annualize your expenses. Then total the annualized expenses in each category.\\nIf you have several expenses in one category that all have the same time period, you can annualize them together. For example, if your car payment and your car insurance payment are both monthly expenses, you could total them and only make one calculation.\\n3-6. Make adjustments where necessary to balance your budget.\\nFinancial experts recommend budgeting your money so that 50% of your income goes towards necessities, 20% towards things that you want, and 20% towards savings for the future. Organize your categories into these broader categories and see how your annualized numbers compare.\\nIf this is your first time doing an annualized budget, you may find that the proportions are far off track from where they need to be. Balancing a budget takes time and effort.\\nIdentify problem expenses that you think you can decrease or eliminate entirely. For example, if you have a subscription to a magazine that you never read, you can save that cost by simply canceling the subscription.\\n3-7. Create a new budget based on your results.\\nOnce you've made your adjustments, take your annualized income and divide it by 12 to figure out how much money you have to work with each month. Then put in your expenses.\\nFor expenses that only occur once or twice a year, divide the total expense by 12 to determine the amount of money you should put towards that expense each month so that you're ready to pay it when it's due. For example, if you pay $300 in renter's insurance once a year, you would need to put away or earmark $25 each month.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Annualization is a predictive tool that estimates the amount or rate of something for an entire year, based on data from part of a year. This tool is primarily used for taxes and investments. If you're paying estimated taxes, you'll need to annualize your income to determine how much tax to pay. With investments, you can annualize your rate of return to help choose your investment strategies. However, you can also use this tool to create a yearly budget for yourself or your household.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Annualizing Your Income\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Gather income reports for 2 or 3 months.\", \"描述\": \"To annualize your income, you need a sample of the income you earn over a year. You can get this from paystubs, paid invoices, or even your bank statement.\\nIf your income is extremely regular, you may not need more than a month of income to complete an annualization.\\nIf you receive income from multiple sources, make sure you have information for all sources you want to include.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Total your income for the period.\", \"描述\": \"It's easiest to annualize income using months. Add up your income from all sources to get your total income for that period of time. Make a note of how many months of income you used to get that total.\\nFor example, suppose you have 3 monthly paychecks of $7,000, $6,500, and $6,800. Your total would be $20,300 of income over a 3-month period.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Divide the number of months in a year by the months of income.\", \"描述\": \"To annualize your income, use the ratio of the number of months in a year (12) over the number of months in the period you used to get your total. When you divide, your result will always be a number greater than 1.\\nFor example, if you totaled your income over 3 months, your ratio would be 12/3 = 4.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Multiply your total income by the result of the ratio.\", \"描述\": \"Once you've divided the ratio, multiple the total income you found for the period by that number. The result will be the estimated amount of income you earn in a year.\\nFor example, if your total income over a 3-month period was $20,300, your annualized income would be $20,300 x 4 = $81,200.\\nYou may not have to annualize your income to pay estimated taxes. For example, in the US, you pay estimated taxes based on your actual income for that quarter – not what you project you'll earn later.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Determining an Annualized Rate of Return\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Familiarize yourself with the formula.\", \"描述\": \"The formula to calculate an annualized rate of return (ARR) may look fairly intimidating at first. However, once you break it down into pieces, it's not as difficult as it looks.\\nThe full formula is ARR = (1 + rate of return per period) – 1. The 1 simply turns a percentage into a whole number so you can compound it. That's why it's subtracted at the end to get your final rate.\\nEssentially, all you do is compound the rate of return by the number of periods. If you have a monthly rate of return, you would compound the rate by 12. A weekly return would be compounded by 52, while a daily return would be compounded by 365.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Calculate your rate of return.\", \"描述\": \"To calculate the rate of return on your investment, subtract the ending value of your investment from the beginning value of your investment, then divide that number by the beginning value of your investment. Multiply the result by 100 to get your rate of return.\\nFor example, if you set up a portfolio with $10,000, and it now has a balance of $11,025, you have a total gain of $1,025. According to the equation, your rate of return is (11,025 – 10,000 / $10,000) x 100 = 10.25%.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Determine the period to which your rate of return applies.\", \"描述\": \"Quantify the period of time over which you had the gain. Then divide (usually 365, the number of days in a year) by that number to find out how many of those periods are in one year.\\nFor example, suppose you had a 10.25% rate of return on an investment that was 65 days old. The number of 65-day periods in a year is 365 / 65 = 5.615.\\nIf your rate of return happened to be a single day or a single month, you can skip this step and compound your rate of return by 365 (days) or 12 (months).\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Compound your rate of return by the number of periods in a year.\", \"描述\": \"Place the number of periods in a year in the formula to annualize your rate of return. Complete the calculation using the x button on your calculator.\\nFor example, your equation for the ARR continuing the example would be (1 + 0.1025) – 1 = 0.7296 or 72.96%. Your annualized rate of return on the investment, therefore, is 72.96%.\\nThere are significant limitations to an annualized rate of return. Specifically, you have no guarantee that you'll be able to continually reinvest the money at the same rate.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Creating a Yearly Budget\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Gather records of financial transactions for a 2- or 3-month period.\", \"描述\": \"Typically, a few months of bank statements is all you need to annualize expenses and create a yearly budget. If you frequently use a credit card, get copies of your credit card statements for the same month.\\nUse income and expenses across the same time period. In other words, if you annualize 3 months of income you should also annualize 3 months of expenses.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Annualize your income.\", \"描述\": \"Total your income over 2 or 3 months. Then multiply that total by the ratio of the number of months in a year over the number of months of income. This provides you with the amount of income you make each year.\\nFor example, suppose you have 3 monthly paychecks of $4,200, $5,100, and $4,700, for a total of $14,000. Your annualized income would be $14,000 x 12/3 = $14,000 x 4 = $56,000.\\nBe sure to include any other sources of income in your equation. If you have any money that you only receive once a year, such as a bonus, you can simply add it into your annualized income.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Organize your expenses into categories.\", \"描述\": \"You can make as many categories as you want. A broad category, such as \\\"bills,\\\" likely won't be very helpful if you want to figure out where your money's going. On the other hand, too many individual categories add work and can get confusing.\\nFor example, you might have categories such as \\\"house payment,\\\" \\\"utilities,\\\" and \\\"car.\\\" Under \\\"utilities,\\\" you would include bills such as electricity, gas, telephone, trash, and water and sewer. Under \\\"car,\\\" you might include your car payment, car insurance, and fuel.\\nIf there are specific expenses that you think are getting out of control, or that you want to keep particular tabs on, make them their own category. For example, assume you believe that you're spending too much money buying lattes from the café near your work. You might create a \\\"latte\\\" category specifically for that expense.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Identify the time period for each expense.\", \"描述\": \"To annualize your data, you have to know how often the expense occurs. Many recurring bills are monthly. However, you may have some that are every other month, every quarter, or only twice a year.\\nYou'll also have expenses that are daily or weekly, or that happen a few days a week. For example, if you get fuel for your car once every other week, the time period for that expense for the purposes of your annualization equation would be 52 / 2 = 26.\\nExpenses that only occur once or twice a year don't have to be annualized. Simply add them into your annualized total.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Annualize expenses based on the data you have.\", \"描述\": \"Take the same formula you used to annualize your income and use it to annualize your expenses. Then total the annualized expenses in each category.\\nIf you have several expenses in one category that all have the same time period, you can annualize them together. For example, if your car payment and your car insurance payment are both monthly expenses, you could total them and only make one calculation.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Make adjustments where necessary to balance your budget.\", \"描述\": \"Financial experts recommend budgeting your money so that 50% of your income goes towards necessities, 20% towards things that you want, and 20% towards savings for the future. Organize your categories into these broader categories and see how your annualized numbers compare.\\nIf this is your first time doing an annualized budget, you may find that the proportions are far off track from where they need to be. Balancing a budget takes time and effort.\\nIdentify problem expenses that you think you can decrease or eliminate entirely. For example, if you have a subscription to a magazine that you never read, you can save that cost by simply canceling the subscription.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Create a new budget based on your results.\", \"描述\": \"Once you've made your adjustments, take your annualized income and divide it by 12 to figure out how much money you have to work with each month. Then put in your expenses.\\nFor expenses that only occur once or twice a year, divide the total expense by 12 to determine the amount of money you should put towards that expense each month so that you're ready to pay it when it's due. For example, if you pay $300 in renter's insurance once a year, you would need to put away or earmark $25 each month.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,718 | How to Annualize a Percentage | 1. Annualizing a Non-Compounding Interest Rate
1-1. Determine whether or not your interest rate compounds annually.
This should be listed in your loan contract or investment documents. Interest rates may also compound quarterly (4 times per year), monthly, or weekly. If your compounding rate is anything other than annually, you should go to annualizing a compounding interest rate to calculate your rate.
Credit cards, for example, may advertise monthly interest rates, like 1 or 2 percent, but they have to show borrowers the annualized rate when they sign credit contracts. This will be listed as the annual percentage rate, or APR, on the contract.
1-2. Find out the period interest rate.
This is the amount of interest earned or paid each period. Again, this can be weekly, monthly, or quarterly. For example, you might pay 1 percent per month in credit card interest. This is your period interest rate.
For the purposes of calculating the annualized rate, you will have to know your period interest rate expressed as a decimal. You can find this value by dividing the stated period interest rate by 100.
For example, 1 percent would be 1/100, or 0.01.
1-3. Determine the number of periods in a given year.
This is the number of interest periods there are in one year. For a stated monthly interest rate, there would be 12 period in a year. Similarly, a loan or investment using a weekly interest rate would have 52 periods in a year and one with a quarterly rate would have 4.
Alternately, a bond payment may make semiannual interest payments. This would be 2 payment period per year.
1-4. Calculate the annualized percentage rate.
The annualized percentage rate can be calculated using the following formula: n∗r{\displaystyle n*r}. In the formula, n represents the number of periods in the year and r represents the period interest rate.
For example if you were quoted a rate of 1 percent per month (r=0.01, n=12), compounded annually, your annualized interest rate is 12∗0.01=0.12{\displaystyle 12*0.01=0.12} (or 12%).
This calculation should be used if the rate compounds annually, rather than quarterly, monthly, or some other frequency.
2. Annualizing a Compounding Interest Rate
2-1. Determine how your interest will compound over the course of one year.
Understand if your rate compounds annually only (meaning that interest is calculated and accumulates only once per year) vs monthly (or over a different period). If your interest rate compounds at a frequency other than annually, use annualizing a non-compounding interest rate to calculate your annualized rate. Otherwise, use the method for annualizing non-compounding interest rates.
2-2. Find the percentage rate per period.
This is the amount of interest charged or paid each period. For example a monthly interest rate of 1 percent would be a 1 percent period interest rate. If you assume that the interest rate will remain the same for the rest of the year, you can annualize this percentage.
Note that in order to calculate the annualized percentage, this number will have to be converted to decimal form. You can do this by dividing the stated period interest rate by 100.
For example, a 1 percent period rate would be expressed as 0.01 (1/100).
2-3. Find the number of periods.
This represents the number of times the periodic percentage rate will be compounded during the year. For example, a periodic percentage yield quoted as once per month will be compounded 12 times during 1 year.
2-4. Input your variables into the formula.
The annualized percentage yield is calculated with the formula((1+r)n)−1{\displaystyle ((1+r)^{n})-1}. In the formula, r represents the period rate and n represents the number of periods.
For example, a periodic yield of 1 percent compounded monthly would be calculated as ((1+0.01)12)−1{\displaystyle ((1+0.01)^{12})-1}.
2-5. Solve the equation.
Calculate each part of the equation using the proper order of operations. Start by adding the figures within parentheses.
After adding these numbers (1 + 0.01), your equation should look like this:((1.01)12)−1{\displaystyle ((1.01)^{12})-1}
Solve the exponent. This is done by entering the lower number (1.01 in this case), pressing the exponent button (which is usually xy{\displaystyle x^{y}}), entering the higher number (12) and pressing enter. The equation should now be: (1.127)−1{\displaystyle (1.127)-1}
The result, 1.127, has been rounded to make calculation simpler. Keeping more decimal places will make your calculation more accurate.
Subtract the one. This gives: 0.127{\displaystyle 0.127}. Represented as a percentage, by multiplying by 100, this is 12.7 percent.
So, an interest rate of 1 percent compounded monthly gives an annual percentage rate of 12.7 percent.
3. Annualizing Year-to-Date Returns
3-1. Determine when to use this calculation.
In some cases, particularly for investments, your returns may not be clearly stated as monthly, quarterly, or weekly rates. In this case, you will have to use year-to-date calculations to annualize your rate of return. This is not a useful calculation for determining an annualized rate for interest payments or calculating any interest rate that compounds during the year. However, it is useful for getting a better idea of an investment's performance on an annual basis so that it can be compared to other investments.
3-2. Find this year's return to date.
Find how much your investment had made or lost this year in dollars (or your local currency). This is done by subtracting it's value at the beginning of the year from its current value.
For example, an investment with a value of $20,000 at the beginning of the year and $20,800 now would have a year return to date of $800 ($20,800-$20,000).
3-3. Convert this number into a percentage return.
This is done by dividing the year return to date by the investment's initial value and then multiplying by 100.
For the previous example, this would be $800 (the year return to date) divided by $20,000 (the initial value), to get 0.04.
Multiply this number by 100 to get the percentage return, which would be 100*0.04, or 4 percent.
3-4. Calculate the time factor.
The time factor calculates how much of the year has passed. This number is then used to annualize the percentage return. To calculate this number, divide the number of months that have already passed in the year by 12.
For example, if you are calculating these values at the end of August, this would mean that 8 months have passed in the current year.
In this case, your time factor would be calculated as 12 divided by 8, which would give a time factor of 1.5.
3-5. Solve for the year-to-date return.
Multiply your percentage return by your time factor to get the year-to-date return. This results reflects how the investment is performing on an annual scale and this number can now be used to compare this investment's return to investments with different time periods.
For the previous example, this number would be the percentage return, 4 percent, multiplied by the time factor, 1.5, to get a 1.5*4, or 6 percent, year-to-date return.
So, for an investment with a value of $20,000 that has earned $800 up to the end of August, the annualized yearly return would be 6 percent.
Tips
The annualized percentage rate assumes that the entire loan will be outstanding for a full 365 days. Any prepayments of the principal will reduce the effective annualized percentage rate. The resulting annualized percentage rate cannot be predetermined unless it is known in advance exactly how much principal will be paid and when it will be paid.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:45:59",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Annualizing a Non-Compounding Interest Rate\\n1-1. Determine whether or not your interest rate compounds annually.\\nThis should be listed in your loan contract or investment documents. Interest rates may also compound quarterly (4 times per year), monthly, or weekly. If your compounding rate is anything other than annually, you should go to annualizing a compounding interest rate to calculate your rate.\\nCredit cards, for example, may advertise monthly interest rates, like 1 or 2 percent, but they have to show borrowers the annualized rate when they sign credit contracts. This will be listed as the annual percentage rate, or APR, on the contract.\\n1-2. Find out the period interest rate.\\nThis is the amount of interest earned or paid each period. Again, this can be weekly, monthly, or quarterly. For example, you might pay 1 percent per month in credit card interest. This is your period interest rate.\\nFor the purposes of calculating the annualized rate, you will have to know your period interest rate expressed as a decimal. You can find this value by dividing the stated period interest rate by 100.\\nFor example, 1 percent would be 1/100, or 0.01.\\n1-3. Determine the number of periods in a given year.\\nThis is the number of interest periods there are in one year. For a stated monthly interest rate, there would be 12 period in a year. Similarly, a loan or investment using a weekly interest rate would have 52 periods in a year and one with a quarterly rate would have 4.\\nAlternately, a bond payment may make semiannual interest payments. This would be 2 payment period per year.\\n1-4. Calculate the annualized percentage rate.\\nThe annualized percentage rate can be calculated using the following formula: n∗r{\\\\displaystyle n*r}. In the formula, n represents the number of periods in the year and r represents the period interest rate.\\nFor example if you were quoted a rate of 1 percent per month (r=0.01, n=12), compounded annually, your annualized interest rate is 12∗0.01=0.12{\\\\displaystyle 12*0.01=0.12} (or 12%).\\nThis calculation should be used if the rate compounds annually, rather than quarterly, monthly, or some other frequency.\\n2. Annualizing a Compounding Interest Rate\\n2-1. Determine how your interest will compound over the course of one year.\\nUnderstand if your rate compounds annually only (meaning that interest is calculated and accumulates only once per year) vs monthly (or over a different period). If your interest rate compounds at a frequency other than annually, use annualizing a non-compounding interest rate to calculate your annualized rate. Otherwise, use the method for annualizing non-compounding interest rates.\\n2-2. Find the percentage rate per period.\\nThis is the amount of interest charged or paid each period. For example a monthly interest rate of 1 percent would be a 1 percent period interest rate. If you assume that the interest rate will remain the same for the rest of the year, you can annualize this percentage.\\nNote that in order to calculate the annualized percentage, this number will have to be converted to decimal form. You can do this by dividing the stated period interest rate by 100.\\nFor example, a 1 percent period rate would be expressed as 0.01 (1/100).\\n2-3. Find the number of periods.\\nThis represents the number of times the periodic percentage rate will be compounded during the year. For example, a periodic percentage yield quoted as once per month will be compounded 12 times during 1 year.\\n2-4. Input your variables into the formula.\\nThe annualized percentage yield is calculated with the formula((1+r)n)−1{\\\\displaystyle ((1+r)^{n})-1}. In the formula, r represents the period rate and n represents the number of periods.\\nFor example, a periodic yield of 1 percent compounded monthly would be calculated as ((1+0.01)12)−1{\\\\displaystyle ((1+0.01)^{12})-1}.\\n2-5. Solve the equation.\\nCalculate each part of the equation using the proper order of operations. Start by adding the figures within parentheses.\\nAfter adding these numbers (1 + 0.01), your equation should look like this:((1.01)12)−1{\\\\displaystyle ((1.01)^{12})-1}\\nSolve the exponent. This is done by entering the lower number (1.01 in this case), pressing the exponent button (which is usually xy{\\\\displaystyle x^{y}}), entering the higher number (12) and pressing enter. The equation should now be: (1.127)−1{\\\\displaystyle (1.127)-1}\\nThe result, 1.127, has been rounded to make calculation simpler. Keeping more decimal places will make your calculation more accurate.\\nSubtract the one. This gives: 0.127{\\\\displaystyle 0.127}. Represented as a percentage, by multiplying by 100, this is 12.7 percent.\\nSo, an interest rate of 1 percent compounded monthly gives an annual percentage rate of 12.7 percent.\\n3. Annualizing Year-to-Date Returns\\n3-1. Determine when to use this calculation.\\nIn some cases, particularly for investments, your returns may not be clearly stated as monthly, quarterly, or weekly rates. In this case, you will have to use year-to-date calculations to annualize your rate of return. This is not a useful calculation for determining an annualized rate for interest payments or calculating any interest rate that compounds during the year. However, it is useful for getting a better idea of an investment's performance on an annual basis so that it can be compared to other investments.\\n3-2. Find this year's return to date.\\nFind how much your investment had made or lost this year in dollars (or your local currency). This is done by subtracting it's value at the beginning of the year from its current value.\\nFor example, an investment with a value of $20,000 at the beginning of the year and $20,800 now would have a year return to date of $800 ($20,800-$20,000).\\n3-3. Convert this number into a percentage return.\\nThis is done by dividing the year return to date by the investment's initial value and then multiplying by 100.\\nFor the previous example, this would be $800 (the year return to date) divided by $20,000 (the initial value), to get 0.04.\\nMultiply this number by 100 to get the percentage return, which would be 100*0.04, or 4 percent.\\n3-4. Calculate the time factor.\\nThe time factor calculates how much of the year has passed. This number is then used to annualize the percentage return. To calculate this number, divide the number of months that have already passed in the year by 12.\\nFor example, if you are calculating these values at the end of August, this would mean that 8 months have passed in the current year.\\nIn this case, your time factor would be calculated as 12 divided by 8, which would give a time factor of 1.5.\\n3-5. Solve for the year-to-date return.\\nMultiply your percentage return by your time factor to get the year-to-date return. This results reflects how the investment is performing on an annual scale and this number can now be used to compare this investment's return to investments with different time periods.\\nFor the previous example, this number would be the percentage return, 4 percent, multiplied by the time factor, 1.5, to get a 1.5*4, or 6 percent, year-to-date return.\\nSo, for an investment with a value of $20,000 that has earned $800 up to the end of August, the annualized yearly return would be 6 percent.\\nTips\\nThe annualized percentage rate assumes that the entire loan will be outstanding for a full 365 days. Any prepayments of the principal will reduce the effective annualized percentage rate. The resulting annualized percentage rate cannot be predetermined unless it is known in advance exactly how much principal will be paid and when it will be paid.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Annualized percentage rates (APRs) are commonly defined as costs to borrow money or return on investment of money. They measure performance over the course of a year. However, many lenders offer rates quoted on a monthly or quarterly basis, rather than an annual one. This is generally done to make the (relatively low) monthly rates sound more appealing to borrowers. Take note that the effective annualized rate will depend on how often the interest compounds. You may be quoted a monthly rate which compounds (accumulates interest) monthly, or a monthly rate which is really an annually compounding rate in disguise. This small difference can over time lead to large differences in interest (or return) so make sure you understand which to calculate. Ultimately, determining a true annualized figure for the cost of borrowing money or for the return on an investment will aid you in making better financial decisions.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Annualizing a Non-Compounding Interest Rate\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determine whether or not your interest rate compounds annually.\", \"描述\": \"This should be listed in your loan contract or investment documents. Interest rates may also compound quarterly (4 times per year), monthly, or weekly. If your compounding rate is anything other than annually, you should go to annualizing a compounding interest rate to calculate your rate.\\nCredit cards, for example, may advertise monthly interest rates, like 1 or 2 percent, but they have to show borrowers the annualized rate when they sign credit contracts. This will be listed as the annual percentage rate, or APR, on the contract.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find out the period interest rate.\", \"描述\": \"This is the amount of interest earned or paid each period. Again, this can be weekly, monthly, or quarterly. For example, you might pay 1 percent per month in credit card interest. This is your period interest rate.\\nFor the purposes of calculating the annualized rate, you will have to know your period interest rate expressed as a decimal. You can find this value by dividing the stated period interest rate by 100.\\nFor example, 1 percent would be 1/100, or 0.01.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Determine the number of periods in a given year.\", \"描述\": \"This is the number of interest periods there are in one year. For a stated monthly interest rate, there would be 12 period in a year. Similarly, a loan or investment using a weekly interest rate would have 52 periods in a year and one with a quarterly rate would have 4.\\nAlternately, a bond payment may make semiannual interest payments. This would be 2 payment period per year.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Calculate the annualized percentage rate.\", \"描述\": \"The annualized percentage rate can be calculated using the following formula: n∗r{\\\\displaystyle n*r}. In the formula, n represents the number of periods in the year and r represents the period interest rate.\\nFor example if you were quoted a rate of 1 percent per month (r=0.01, n=12), compounded annually, your annualized interest rate is 12∗0.01=0.12{\\\\displaystyle 12*0.01=0.12} (or 12%).\\nThis calculation should be used if the rate compounds annually, rather than quarterly, monthly, or some other frequency.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Annualizing a Compounding Interest Rate\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determine how your interest will compound over the course of one year.\", \"描述\": \"Understand if your rate compounds annually only (meaning that interest is calculated and accumulates only once per year) vs monthly (or over a different period). If your interest rate compounds at a frequency other than annually, use annualizing a non-compounding interest rate to calculate your annualized rate. Otherwise, use the method for annualizing non-compounding interest rates.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find the percentage rate per period.\", \"描述\": \"This is the amount of interest charged or paid each period. For example a monthly interest rate of 1 percent would be a 1 percent period interest rate. If you assume that the interest rate will remain the same for the rest of the year, you can annualize this percentage.\\nNote that in order to calculate the annualized percentage, this number will have to be converted to decimal form. You can do this by dividing the stated period interest rate by 100.\\nFor example, a 1 percent period rate would be expressed as 0.01 (1/100).\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find the number of periods.\", \"描述\": \"This represents the number of times the periodic percentage rate will be compounded during the year. For example, a periodic percentage yield quoted as once per month will be compounded 12 times during 1 year.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Input your variables into the formula.\", \"描述\": \"The annualized percentage yield is calculated with the formula((1+r)n)−1{\\\\displaystyle ((1+r)^{n})-1}. In the formula, r represents the period rate and n represents the number of periods.\\nFor example, a periodic yield of 1 percent compounded monthly would be calculated as ((1+0.01)12)−1{\\\\displaystyle ((1+0.01)^{12})-1}.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Solve the equation.\", \"描述\": \"Calculate each part of the equation using the proper order of operations. Start by adding the figures within parentheses.\\nAfter adding these numbers (1 + 0.01), your equation should look like this:((1.01)12)−1{\\\\displaystyle ((1.01)^{12})-1}\\nSolve the exponent. This is done by entering the lower number (1.01 in this case), pressing the exponent button (which is usually xy{\\\\displaystyle x^{y}}), entering the higher number (12) and pressing enter. The equation should now be: (1.127)−1{\\\\displaystyle (1.127)-1}\\nThe result, 1.127, has been rounded to make calculation simpler. Keeping more decimal places will make your calculation more accurate.\\nSubtract the one. This gives: 0.127{\\\\displaystyle 0.127}. Represented as a percentage, by multiplying by 100, this is 12.7 percent.\\nSo, an interest rate of 1 percent compounded monthly gives an annual percentage rate of 12.7 percent.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Annualizing Year-to-Date Returns\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determine when to use this calculation.\", \"描述\": \"In some cases, particularly for investments, your returns may not be clearly stated as monthly, quarterly, or weekly rates. In this case, you will have to use year-to-date calculations to annualize your rate of return. This is not a useful calculation for determining an annualized rate for interest payments or calculating any interest rate that compounds during the year. However, it is useful for getting a better idea of an investment's performance on an annual basis so that it can be compared to other investments.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find this year's return to date.\", \"描述\": \"Find how much your investment had made or lost this year in dollars (or your local currency). This is done by subtracting it's value at the beginning of the year from its current value.\\nFor example, an investment with a value of $20,000 at the beginning of the year and $20,800 now would have a year return to date of $800 ($20,800-$20,000).\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Convert this number into a percentage return.\", \"描述\": \"This is done by dividing the year return to date by the investment's initial value and then multiplying by 100.\\nFor the previous example, this would be $800 (the year return to date) divided by $20,000 (the initial value), to get 0.04.\\nMultiply this number by 100 to get the percentage return, which would be 100*0.04, or 4 percent.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Calculate the time factor.\", \"描述\": \"The time factor calculates how much of the year has passed. This number is then used to annualize the percentage return. To calculate this number, divide the number of months that have already passed in the year by 12.\\nFor example, if you are calculating these values at the end of August, this would mean that 8 months have passed in the current year.\\nIn this case, your time factor would be calculated as 12 divided by 8, which would give a time factor of 1.5.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Solve for the year-to-date return.\", \"描述\": \"Multiply your percentage return by your time factor to get the year-to-date return. This results reflects how the investment is performing on an annual scale and this number can now be used to compare this investment's return to investments with different time periods.\\nFor the previous example, this number would be the percentage return, 4 percent, multiplied by the time factor, 1.5, to get a 1.5*4, or 6 percent, year-to-date return.\\nSo, for an investment with a value of $20,000 that has earned $800 up to the end of August, the annualized yearly return would be 6 percent.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"The annualized percentage rate assumes that the entire loan will be outstanding for a full 365 days. Any prepayments of the principal will reduce the effective annualized percentage rate. The resulting annualized percentage rate cannot be predetermined unless it is known in advance exactly how much principal will be paid and when it will be paid.\\n\"]}]}}",
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1,719 | How to Annualize a Quarterly Return | 1. Locating the Information
1-1. Obtain the investment's quarterly report.
You will receive this in the mail or you can look it up online under your account. You can also find this information on the company's website.
1-2. Find the quarterly rate of return.
There will likely be a number of figures within the report that show how the investment rose or fell during that time. What you want to annualize is the percentage figure, called the rate of return (ROR), which shows the percentage of growth (or shrinkage) you received during the previous three months.
For example, at the bottom of the page of numbers it may show that your quarterly return is 1.5 percent. The annual return would be larger, because your money could be expected to have grown each quarter. The annualized return would be the percentage of growth if the investment grew at the same rate all year.
1-3. Calculate how many time periods there are in a year.
In order to annualize, you first consider the time period being featured. In this case it's three months since it's a quarterly report. Then calculate how many such periods are contained in a year. Thus, there are four three-month periods (quarters) in a year. You would then use the number 4 when called for in the annualizing formula.
If you were trying to annualize a monthly return, you would use the number 12.
2. Calculating the Annual Rate of Return
2-1. Calculate the annual rate of return.
For a quarterly investment, the formula to calculate the annual rate of return is: Annual Rate of Return = [(1 + Quarterly Rate of Return)^4] - 1. The number 4 is an exponent. In other words, the quantity "1 + quarterly rate of return" is raised to the fourth power, and then 1 is subtracted from the result.
2-2. Turn your quarterly ROR into a decimal.
Again let's say your quarterly ROR is 1.5%. First divide 1.5 by divide it by 100. 1.5 percent divided by 100 is 0.015.
2-3. Plug in your numbers.
Continuing this example, use 0.015 as the quarterly ROR. Thus, the annual rate of return = (1 + 0.015) raised to the fourth power.
Add 1 to 0.015 and you get 1.015.
2-4. Use a calculator to bring that number to the fourth power.
If you do not have a calculator that works with exponents, you can search for one on the Internet or buy one at your local office supplies store. 1.015 to the fourth power is 1.061364.
You can always multiply 1.015 x 1.015 x 1.015 x 1.015 if you don't have a calculator.
The example formula now looks like this: Annual Rate Of Return = 1.061364 - 1.
2-5. Subtract 1 from your result.
This equals .061364. This is your annual ROR expressed as a decimal. Multiply that decimal by 100 to get your percent rate of return.
In our example, .061364 x 100 = 6.1364% for the annual rate of return.
3. Annualizing Daily Returns
3-1. Calculate the Annual Rate of Return using days.
You may have a new investment and want to know the Annual Rate of Return based on a number of days, not months. Let's say you have held the investment for 17 days and earned 2.13%.
3-2. Plug the numbers into the formula.
In this case to calculate the exponent to use, you will divide 17 (the number of days you held the investment) by 365 (the number of days in a year). The answer is .0465753.
Convert 2.13% interest rate to a decimal by dividing 2.13 by 100 = .0213.
Your formula will look like this: ((1+0.0213)^1/.0465753) – 1 = Annual Rate of Return. ((1.0213)^21.4706078)-1 = 1.5722717 - 1 = .5722717. Convert this to a percentage by multiplying this by 100 = 57.23% annual rate of return.
3-3. Use caution when annualizing returns.
You can't assume that just because you earned 2.13% in a number of days or months that you will be able to earn that same amount the rest of the year. Stock earnings go up and down every day but you will be able to make a general projection.
Tips
"Quarterly return" is also the term used for tax returns that must be filed every three months by some employers, self-employed people and people who receive unemployment benefits.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Locating the Information\\n1-1. Obtain the investment's quarterly report.\\nYou will receive this in the mail or you can look it up online under your account. You can also find this information on the company's website.\\n1-2. Find the quarterly rate of return.\\nThere will likely be a number of figures within the report that show how the investment rose or fell during that time. What you want to annualize is the percentage figure, called the rate of return (ROR), which shows the percentage of growth (or shrinkage) you received during the previous three months.\\nFor example, at the bottom of the page of numbers it may show that your quarterly return is 1.5 percent. The annual return would be larger, because your money could be expected to have grown each quarter. The annualized return would be the percentage of growth if the investment grew at the same rate all year.\\n1-3. Calculate how many time periods there are in a year.\\nIn order to annualize, you first consider the time period being featured. In this case it's three months since it's a quarterly report. Then calculate how many such periods are contained in a year. Thus, there are four three-month periods (quarters) in a year. You would then use the number 4 when called for in the annualizing formula.\\nIf you were trying to annualize a monthly return, you would use the number 12.\\n2. Calculating the Annual Rate of Return\\n2-1. Calculate the annual rate of return.\\nFor a quarterly investment, the formula to calculate the annual rate of return is: Annual Rate of Return = [(1 + Quarterly Rate of Return)^4] - 1. The number 4 is an exponent. In other words, the quantity \\\"1 + quarterly rate of return\\\" is raised to the fourth power, and then 1 is subtracted from the result.\\n2-2. Turn your quarterly ROR into a decimal.\\nAgain let's say your quarterly ROR is 1.5%. First divide 1.5 by divide it by 100. 1.5 percent divided by 100 is 0.015.\\n2-3. Plug in your numbers.\\nContinuing this example, use 0.015 as the quarterly ROR. Thus, the annual rate of return = (1 + 0.015) raised to the fourth power.\\nAdd 1 to 0.015 and you get 1.015.\\n2-4. Use a calculator to bring that number to the fourth power.\\nIf you do not have a calculator that works with exponents, you can search for one on the Internet or buy one at your local office supplies store. 1.015 to the fourth power is 1.061364.\\nYou can always multiply 1.015 x 1.015 x 1.015 x 1.015 if you don't have a calculator.\\nThe example formula now looks like this: Annual Rate Of Return = 1.061364 - 1.\\n2-5. Subtract 1 from your result.\\nThis equals .061364. This is your annual ROR expressed as a decimal. Multiply that decimal by 100 to get your percent rate of return.\\nIn our example, .061364 x 100 = 6.1364% for the annual rate of return.\\n3. Annualizing Daily Returns\\n3-1. Calculate the Annual Rate of Return using days.\\nYou may have a new investment and want to know the Annual Rate of Return based on a number of days, not months. Let's say you have held the investment for 17 days and earned 2.13%.\\n3-2. Plug the numbers into the formula.\\nIn this case to calculate the exponent to use, you will divide 17 (the number of days you held the investment) by 365 (the number of days in a year). The answer is .0465753.\\nConvert 2.13% interest rate to a decimal by dividing 2.13 by 100 = .0213.\\nYour formula will look like this: ((1+0.0213)^1/.0465753) – 1 = Annual Rate of Return. ((1.0213)^21.4706078)-1 = 1.5722717 - 1 = .5722717. Convert this to a percentage by multiplying this by 100 = 57.23% annual rate of return.\\n3-3. Use caution when annualizing returns.\\nYou can't assume that just because you earned 2.13% in a number of days or months that you will be able to earn that same amount the rest of the year. Stock earnings go up and down every day but you will be able to make a general projection.\\nTips\\n\\\"Quarterly return\\\" is also the term used for tax returns that must be filed every three months by some employers, self-employed people and people who receive unemployment benefits.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Investment companies provide their clients with regular updates regarding their return on investment (ROI). If you have investments, you probably have received a quarterly return report that shows how well each of your investments has fared over the preceding three months. It is easier to comprehend the strength of the investment (as well as to compare it with other investments) if you can translate the quarterly return into an equivalent annual return. You can do this with a calculator or even pencil and paper.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Locating the Information\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Obtain the investment's quarterly report.\", \"描述\": \"You will receive this in the mail or you can look it up online under your account. You can also find this information on the company's website.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find the quarterly rate of return.\", \"描述\": \"There will likely be a number of figures within the report that show how the investment rose or fell during that time. What you want to annualize is the percentage figure, called the rate of return (ROR), which shows the percentage of growth (or shrinkage) you received during the previous three months.\\nFor example, at the bottom of the page of numbers it may show that your quarterly return is 1.5 percent. The annual return would be larger, because your money could be expected to have grown each quarter. The annualized return would be the percentage of growth if the investment grew at the same rate all year.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Calculate how many time periods there are in a year.\", \"描述\": \"In order to annualize, you first consider the time period being featured. In this case it's three months since it's a quarterly report. Then calculate how many such periods are contained in a year. Thus, there are four three-month periods (quarters) in a year. You would then use the number 4 when called for in the annualizing formula.\\nIf you were trying to annualize a monthly return, you would use the number 12.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Calculating the Annual Rate of Return\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Calculate the annual rate of return.\", \"描述\": \"For a quarterly investment, the formula to calculate the annual rate of return is: Annual Rate of Return = [(1 + Quarterly Rate of Return)^4] - 1. The number 4 is an exponent. In other words, the quantity \\\"1 + quarterly rate of return\\\" is raised to the fourth power, and then 1 is subtracted from the result.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Turn your quarterly ROR into a decimal.\", \"描述\": \"Again let's say your quarterly ROR is 1.5%. First divide 1.5 by divide it by 100. 1.5 percent divided by 100 is 0.015.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Plug in your numbers.\", \"描述\": \"Continuing this example, use 0.015 as the quarterly ROR. Thus, the annual rate of return = (1 + 0.015) raised to the fourth power.\\nAdd 1 to 0.015 and you get 1.015.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use a calculator to bring that number to the fourth power.\", \"描述\": \"If you do not have a calculator that works with exponents, you can search for one on the Internet or buy one at your local office supplies store. 1.015 to the fourth power is 1.061364.\\nYou can always multiply 1.015 x 1.015 x 1.015 x 1.015 if you don't have a calculator.\\nThe example formula now looks like this: Annual Rate Of Return = 1.061364 - 1.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Subtract 1 from your result.\", \"描述\": \"This equals .061364. This is your annual ROR expressed as a decimal. Multiply that decimal by 100 to get your percent rate of return.\\nIn our example, .061364 x 100 = 6.1364% for the annual rate of return.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Annualizing Daily Returns\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Calculate the Annual Rate of Return using days.\", \"描述\": \"You may have a new investment and want to know the Annual Rate of Return based on a number of days, not months. Let's say you have held the investment for 17 days and earned 2.13%.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Plug the numbers into the formula.\", \"描述\": \"In this case to calculate the exponent to use, you will divide 17 (the number of days you held the investment) by 365 (the number of days in a year). The answer is .0465753.\\nConvert 2.13% interest rate to a decimal by dividing 2.13 by 100 = .0213.\\nYour formula will look like this: ((1+0.0213)^1/.0465753) – 1 = Annual Rate of Return. ((1.0213)^21.4706078)-1 = 1.5722717 - 1 = .5722717. Convert this to a percentage by multiplying this by 100 = 57.23% annual rate of return.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use caution when annualizing returns.\", \"描述\": \"You can't assume that just because you earned 2.13% in a number of days or months that you will be able to earn that same amount the rest of the year. Stock earnings go up and down every day but you will be able to make a general projection.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"\\\"Quarterly return\\\" is also the term used for tax returns that must be filed every three months by some employers, self-employed people and people who receive unemployment benefits.\\n\"]}]}}",
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1,720 | How to Anodize Aluminum | 1. Collecting Supplies
1-1. Buy some standard aluminum alloy metal parts.
Anodizing works particularly well with aluminum, so, if careful, you can do it at home. Use small aluminum pieces to begin with so that you can submerge it in small quantities of acid.
You can find small aluminum parts for this purpose relatively affordably from most home improvement stores, as well as online.
During this process, the part that you are anodizing will function as your anode.
1-2. Buy a thick plastic tub to submerge your metal.
Choose a type of plastic that is extremely hard and durable. The exact size of the tub you will need depends on what you're working with, but it should be large enough to hold your metal piece and the aluminum and still have some extra room for the liquids.
1-3. Find some clothing dye at a local craft store.
During the anodizing process, you can dye the metal almost any color using a standard fabric dye. This is the process Apple uses to color iPods.
You can also buy special dye for anodizing that may produce better results.
1-4. Purchase the items you need for anodizing.
You will need several particular pieces of equipment to anodize at home. Most of these items can be found at your local hardware or home improvement store. These include:
A degreaser product
2 lead cathodes long enough to overhang your plastic bin
A roll of aluminum wire
Enough distilled water to fill your plastic tub
Baking soda
Rubber gloves
1-5. Find places to purchase the hard-to-source supplies.
For anodizing, you will need several gallons of sulfuric acid (battery acid), lye, and a constant power supply of at least 20 volts. The battery acid may be hard to find; however, it is usually available at auto parts stores. A large battery charger should work as a constant power supply.
2. Cleaning the Aluminum
2-1. Wash your metal with soap and water.
Cleaning off dirt and debris helps keep the anodizing process running smoothly, and reduces the chances of imperfections as you work. Wash the object you want to anodize using a gentle detergent and warm water. Then, dry it completely with a clean rag or paper towel.
2-2. Apply a degreaser with a cloth.
Following the instructions on the product packaging, use your degreaser to remove any additional oil from the product. Wipe it away as necessary, making sure that no product remains on your metal before you move to the next step.
2-3. Dilute lye in water to create a scouring solution.
In a small plastic tub, mix 3 tbsp. (44 ml) of lye in 1 gallon (3.8 l) of distilled water. Wearing a pair of rubber gloves, place the object you want to anodize into the lye solution. Allow it to sit for 3 minutes, then remove it and rinse it thoroughly with warm water.
The lye will remove any existing anodizing on the surface of the metal. Once it is removed, water should pour off the surface easily, instead of beading.
Wear rubber gloves whenever working with lye.
Do not use measuring spoons or cups that are used for food products. The materials used in this process are toxic.
3. Setting Up An Anodizing Bath
3-1. Place your plastic tub in a well-ventilated area.
The tub should also be placed away from things that could be harmed during this process. Set it on a piece of plywood and/or a thick drop cloth in case of spills. A garage with an open door or a shed with all doors and windows open is usually a good location.
For best results, do this when the indoor temperature is between 70 and 72 degrees Fahrenheit (21 to 22 degrees Celsius).
3-2. Set up your power supply.
Set it on a non-flammable material, like concrete. Use a multimeter, available from most auto supplies stores, to make sure your battery is working consistently.
You will need to connect the positive wire from your battery charger or rectifier to a wire that will be strung to your aluminum.
You will need to connect your negative wire from your battery charger to an aluminum wire connected to 2 lead cathodes.
3-3. Tie one end of the long aluminum wire to your anode.
12-gauge aluminum wire works well for this use. Wrap it or connect it to the part in an inconspicuous area. If your anodizing a key, for example, you may wrap the wire around the join between the blade and the bow.
The area of the part that connects to the wire will not anodize.
Make sure it is very tightly wrapped for a more consistent charge.
3-4. Wrap the middle of the wire around a thin piece of wood.
The wood should be longer than your plastic tub. This will give you leverage to lift it out when you are done. Make sure you have extra wire extending toward your power supply after you wrap it.
Test the wooden handle to make sure your aluminum part will be fully submerged in the acid mix, but not touching the base of your plastic tub.
3-5. Set a lead cathode on each side of your tank.
String aluminum wire between the cathodes and connect them together on your small wood plank. You will attach the negatively charged power supply to this wire.
Make sure the wire connecting the anode does not touch the lead cathodes.
3-6. Make a 1:1 mixture of distilled water and battery acid in your plastic tub.
The amount you use will depend upon the size of the metal part you want to anodize. You should have enough to completely submerge your anode. Be very careful not to spill as you mix.
Put on a mask or respirator before you start working with acid. Turn on a fan to ventilate the area.
Always pour the water in before the acid.
If you spill any acid, cover it quickly with baking soda.
3-7. Connect your aluminum wires to your power supply.
The wire that leads from your anode should connect to the positive terminal on your power supply. The wire that leads from the lead cathodes should connect to the negative terminal of your power supply.
Before you turn on your power supply, check the area around your plastic tub to make sure there aren’t any spills. You should also double-check to ensure the power is safely connected and your skin is completely covered.
4. Anodizing and Dying Metal
4-1. Turn on your power source.
Once your power source is on, slowly turn it up to reach your ideal amperage. A good rule of thumb is to use 12 amps per square foot of material. (12 amps per every 0.09 square meters of material).
Increasing the power too fast or using too much can burn your aluminum wires.
4-2. Keep the power supply constant for 45 minutes.
You will see little oxidation bubbles start to form on the surface of the anode. The anode will also start to change color, turning brown, then yellow.
If you don’t see bubbles forming within about 30 seconds of starting your power supply, turn your power supply off and check your connections. This is usually an indicator that your power supply wasn’t properly connected.
4-3. Mix your dye during the anodizing process.
If you plan on dying your part, prepare the dye so that it is hot and ready when your anode comes out of the bath. Different dyes will have different requirements, so prepare your dye as directed on the product packaging.
Heating the dye will help increase the amount of pigment your part picks up. However, the dye should not be heated to a temperature over 122 °F (50 °C).
Dye can be damaging to pots, so use an old one that you no longer use for food.
4-4. Turn off the power supply after 45 minutes.
Once your anode is done in the bath, turn off your power supply before attempting to retrieve it. Remove your aluminum carefully and rinse it with distilled water.
Work quickly if you plan on dying your part.
Be sure to wear protective gloves when retrieving and rinsing your part.
4-5. Place the aluminum part in the warm dye bath.
Let the part sit in the dye for 15 minutes. If you are only dying part of your anode (such as the bow of a key), wrap your aluminum wire around the part you don’t want to dye. Use this as a handle to dip your anode into the dye.
If you do not plan on dying your aluminum part, skip straight to boiling the part in distilled water for 30 minutes.
4-6. Boil distilled water on a hot plate.
You should have enough water to fully submerge your anode. Once your anode is done in the dye bath, remove it and place it in the boiling water for 30 minutes.
4-7. Remove the hot metal carefully and allow it to dry.
Set your newly dyed aluminum on a clean towel or rag and allow it to cool completely before handling. Once cooled, the surface should be sealed.
Warnings
Many of the supplies required for this project can be dangerous if spilled or ingested. Make a workstation away from children and pets. Always wear thick work clothes, safety goggle, and gloves.
Never pour water into acid. It can result in boiling over and blowing up. This reaction is due to the heat generated, and it can result in acid burns.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:45:59",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Collecting Supplies\\n1-1. Buy some standard aluminum alloy metal parts.\\nAnodizing works particularly well with aluminum, so, if careful, you can do it at home. Use small aluminum pieces to begin with so that you can submerge it in small quantities of acid.\\nYou can find small aluminum parts for this purpose relatively affordably from most home improvement stores, as well as online.\\nDuring this process, the part that you are anodizing will function as your anode.\\n1-2. Buy a thick plastic tub to submerge your metal.\\nChoose a type of plastic that is extremely hard and durable. The exact size of the tub you will need depends on what you're working with, but it should be large enough to hold your metal piece and the aluminum and still have some extra room for the liquids.\\n1-3. Find some clothing dye at a local craft store.\\nDuring the anodizing process, you can dye the metal almost any color using a standard fabric dye. This is the process Apple uses to color iPods. \\nYou can also buy special dye for anodizing that may produce better results.\\n1-4. Purchase the items you need for anodizing.\\nYou will need several particular pieces of equipment to anodize at home. Most of these items can be found at your local hardware or home improvement store. These include:\\nA degreaser product\\n2 lead cathodes long enough to overhang your plastic bin\\nA roll of aluminum wire\\nEnough distilled water to fill your plastic tub\\nBaking soda\\nRubber gloves\\n1-5. Find places to purchase the hard-to-source supplies.\\nFor anodizing, you will need several gallons of sulfuric acid (battery acid), lye, and a constant power supply of at least 20 volts. The battery acid may be hard to find; however, it is usually available at auto parts stores. A large battery charger should work as a constant power supply.\\n2. Cleaning the Aluminum\\n2-1. Wash your metal with soap and water.\\nCleaning off dirt and debris helps keep the anodizing process running smoothly, and reduces the chances of imperfections as you work. Wash the object you want to anodize using a gentle detergent and warm water. Then, dry it completely with a clean rag or paper towel.\\n2-2. Apply a degreaser with a cloth.\\nFollowing the instructions on the product packaging, use your degreaser to remove any additional oil from the product. Wipe it away as necessary, making sure that no product remains on your metal before you move to the next step.\\n2-3. Dilute lye in water to create a scouring solution.\\nIn a small plastic tub, mix 3 tbsp. (44 ml) of lye in 1 gallon (3.8 l) of distilled water. Wearing a pair of rubber gloves, place the object you want to anodize into the lye solution. Allow it to sit for 3 minutes, then remove it and rinse it thoroughly with warm water.\\nThe lye will remove any existing anodizing on the surface of the metal. Once it is removed, water should pour off the surface easily, instead of beading.\\nWear rubber gloves whenever working with lye.\\nDo not use measuring spoons or cups that are used for food products. The materials used in this process are toxic.\\n3. Setting Up An Anodizing Bath\\n3-1. Place your plastic tub in a well-ventilated area.\\nThe tub should also be placed away from things that could be harmed during this process. Set it on a piece of plywood and/or a thick drop cloth in case of spills. A garage with an open door or a shed with all doors and windows open is usually a good location.\\nFor best results, do this when the indoor temperature is between 70 and 72 degrees Fahrenheit (21 to 22 degrees Celsius).\\n3-2. Set up your power supply.\\nSet it on a non-flammable material, like concrete. Use a multimeter, available from most auto supplies stores, to make sure your battery is working consistently.\\nYou will need to connect the positive wire from your battery charger or rectifier to a wire that will be strung to your aluminum.\\nYou will need to connect your negative wire from your battery charger to an aluminum wire connected to 2 lead cathodes.\\n3-3. Tie one end of the long aluminum wire to your anode.\\n12-gauge aluminum wire works well for this use. Wrap it or connect it to the part in an inconspicuous area. If your anodizing a key, for example, you may wrap the wire around the join between the blade and the bow.\\nThe area of the part that connects to the wire will not anodize.\\nMake sure it is very tightly wrapped for a more consistent charge.\\n3-4. Wrap the middle of the wire around a thin piece of wood.\\nThe wood should be longer than your plastic tub. This will give you leverage to lift it out when you are done. Make sure you have extra wire extending toward your power supply after you wrap it.\\nTest the wooden handle to make sure your aluminum part will be fully submerged in the acid mix, but not touching the base of your plastic tub.\\n3-5. Set a lead cathode on each side of your tank.\\nString aluminum wire between the cathodes and connect them together on your small wood plank. You will attach the negatively charged power supply to this wire.\\nMake sure the wire connecting the anode does not touch the lead cathodes.\\n3-6. Make a 1:1 mixture of distilled water and battery acid in your plastic tub.\\nThe amount you use will depend upon the size of the metal part you want to anodize. You should have enough to completely submerge your anode. Be very careful not to spill as you mix.\\nPut on a mask or respirator before you start working with acid. Turn on a fan to ventilate the area.\\nAlways pour the water in before the acid.\\nIf you spill any acid, cover it quickly with baking soda.\\n3-7. Connect your aluminum wires to your power supply.\\nThe wire that leads from your anode should connect to the positive terminal on your power supply. The wire that leads from the lead cathodes should connect to the negative terminal of your power supply.\\nBefore you turn on your power supply, check the area around your plastic tub to make sure there aren’t any spills. You should also double-check to ensure the power is safely connected and your skin is completely covered.\\n4. Anodizing and Dying Metal\\n4-1. Turn on your power source.\\nOnce your power source is on, slowly turn it up to reach your ideal amperage. A good rule of thumb is to use 12 amps per square foot of material. (12 amps per every 0.09 square meters of material).\\nIncreasing the power too fast or using too much can burn your aluminum wires.\\n4-2. Keep the power supply constant for 45 minutes.\\nYou will see little oxidation bubbles start to form on the surface of the anode. The anode will also start to change color, turning brown, then yellow.\\nIf you don’t see bubbles forming within about 30 seconds of starting your power supply, turn your power supply off and check your connections. This is usually an indicator that your power supply wasn’t properly connected.\\n4-3. Mix your dye during the anodizing process.\\nIf you plan on dying your part, prepare the dye so that it is hot and ready when your anode comes out of the bath. Different dyes will have different requirements, so prepare your dye as directed on the product packaging.\\nHeating the dye will help increase the amount of pigment your part picks up. However, the dye should not be heated to a temperature over 122 °F (50 °C).\\nDye can be damaging to pots, so use an old one that you no longer use for food.\\n4-4. Turn off the power supply after 45 minutes.\\nOnce your anode is done in the bath, turn off your power supply before attempting to retrieve it. Remove your aluminum carefully and rinse it with distilled water.\\nWork quickly if you plan on dying your part.\\nBe sure to wear protective gloves when retrieving and rinsing your part.\\n4-5. Place the aluminum part in the warm dye bath.\\nLet the part sit in the dye for 15 minutes. If you are only dying part of your anode (such as the bow of a key), wrap your aluminum wire around the part you don’t want to dye. Use this as a handle to dip your anode into the dye.\\nIf you do not plan on dying your aluminum part, skip straight to boiling the part in distilled water for 30 minutes.\\n4-6. Boil distilled water on a hot plate.\\nYou should have enough water to fully submerge your anode. Once your anode is done in the dye bath, remove it and place it in the boiling water for 30 minutes.\\n4-7. Remove the hot metal carefully and allow it to dry.\\nSet your newly dyed aluminum on a clean towel or rag and allow it to cool completely before handling. Once cooled, the surface should be sealed.\\nWarnings\\nMany of the supplies required for this project can be dangerous if spilled or ingested. Make a workstation away from children and pets. Always wear thick work clothes, safety goggle, and gloves.\\nNever pour water into acid. It can result in boiling over and blowing up. This reaction is due to the heat generated, and it can result in acid burns.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Anodizing uses acid to create a corrosion- and wear-resistant layer on top of a metal. The process of anodizing also changes the crystal structure near the surface of substances, like aluminum alloy, which allows you to dye the metal a bright color. At-home anodizing can be useful for projects like protecting metallic family heirlooms and old jewelry. It can also be a great at-home experiment to try with older kids. Just remember to take extra precautions with caustic substances, like lye and sulfuric acid, when you anodize aluminum at home, as these products may cause chemical burns if handled incorrectly.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Collecting Supplies\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Buy some standard aluminum alloy metal parts.\", \"描述\": \"Anodizing works particularly well with aluminum, so, if careful, you can do it at home. Use small aluminum pieces to begin with so that you can submerge it in small quantities of acid.\\nYou can find small aluminum parts for this purpose relatively affordably from most home improvement stores, as well as online.\\nDuring this process, the part that you are anodizing will function as your anode.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Buy a thick plastic tub to submerge your metal.\", \"描述\": \"Choose a type of plastic that is extremely hard and durable. The exact size of the tub you will need depends on what you're working with, but it should be large enough to hold your metal piece and the aluminum and still have some extra room for the liquids.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find some clothing dye at a local craft store.\", \"描述\": \"During the anodizing process, you can dye the metal almost any color using a standard fabric dye. This is the process Apple uses to color iPods. \\nYou can also buy special dye for anodizing that may produce better results.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Purchase the items you need for anodizing.\", \"描述\": \"You will need several particular pieces of equipment to anodize at home. Most of these items can be found at your local hardware or home improvement store. These include:\\nA degreaser product\\n2 lead cathodes long enough to overhang your plastic bin\\nA roll of aluminum wire\\nEnough distilled water to fill your plastic tub\\nBaking soda\\nRubber gloves\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Find places to purchase the hard-to-source supplies.\", \"描述\": \"For anodizing, you will need several gallons of sulfuric acid (battery acid), lye, and a constant power supply of at least 20 volts. The battery acid may be hard to find; however, it is usually available at auto parts stores. A large battery charger should work as a constant power supply.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Cleaning the Aluminum\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wash your metal with soap and water.\", \"描述\": \"Cleaning off dirt and debris helps keep the anodizing process running smoothly, and reduces the chances of imperfections as you work. Wash the object you want to anodize using a gentle detergent and warm water. Then, dry it completely with a clean rag or paper towel.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Apply a degreaser with a cloth.\", \"描述\": \"Following the instructions on the product packaging, use your degreaser to remove any additional oil from the product. Wipe it away as necessary, making sure that no product remains on your metal before you move to the next step.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dilute lye in water to create a scouring solution.\", \"描述\": \"In a small plastic tub, mix 3 tbsp. (44 ml) of lye in 1 gallon (3.8 l) of distilled water. Wearing a pair of rubber gloves, place the object you want to anodize into the lye solution. Allow it to sit for 3 minutes, then remove it and rinse it thoroughly with warm water.\\nThe lye will remove any existing anodizing on the surface of the metal. Once it is removed, water should pour off the surface easily, instead of beading.\\nWear rubber gloves whenever working with lye.\\nDo not use measuring spoons or cups that are used for food products. The materials used in this process are toxic.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Setting Up An Anodizing Bath\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Place your plastic tub in a well-ventilated area.\", \"描述\": \"The tub should also be placed away from things that could be harmed during this process. Set it on a piece of plywood and/or a thick drop cloth in case of spills. A garage with an open door or a shed with all doors and windows open is usually a good location.\\nFor best results, do this when the indoor temperature is between 70 and 72 degrees Fahrenheit (21 to 22 degrees Celsius).\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Set up your power supply.\", \"描述\": \"Set it on a non-flammable material, like concrete. Use a multimeter, available from most auto supplies stores, to make sure your battery is working consistently.\\nYou will need to connect the positive wire from your battery charger or rectifier to a wire that will be strung to your aluminum.\\nYou will need to connect your negative wire from your battery charger to an aluminum wire connected to 2 lead cathodes.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tie one end of the long aluminum wire to your anode.\", \"描述\": \"12-gauge aluminum wire works well for this use. Wrap it or connect it to the part in an inconspicuous area. If your anodizing a key, for example, you may wrap the wire around the join between the blade and the bow.\\nThe area of the part that connects to the wire will not anodize.\\nMake sure it is very tightly wrapped for a more consistent charge.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Wrap the middle of the wire around a thin piece of wood.\", \"描述\": \"The wood should be longer than your plastic tub. This will give you leverage to lift it out when you are done. Make sure you have extra wire extending toward your power supply after you wrap it.\\nTest the wooden handle to make sure your aluminum part will be fully submerged in the acid mix, but not touching the base of your plastic tub.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Set a lead cathode on each side of your tank.\", \"描述\": \"String aluminum wire between the cathodes and connect them together on your small wood plank. You will attach the negatively charged power supply to this wire.\\nMake sure the wire connecting the anode does not touch the lead cathodes.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Make a 1:1 mixture of distilled water and battery acid in your plastic tub.\", \"描述\": \"The amount you use will depend upon the size of the metal part you want to anodize. You should have enough to completely submerge your anode. Be very careful not to spill as you mix.\\nPut on a mask or respirator before you start working with acid. Turn on a fan to ventilate the area.\\nAlways pour the water in before the acid.\\nIf you spill any acid, cover it quickly with baking soda.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Connect your aluminum wires to your power supply.\", \"描述\": \"The wire that leads from your anode should connect to the positive terminal on your power supply. The wire that leads from the lead cathodes should connect to the negative terminal of your power supply.\\nBefore you turn on your power supply, check the area around your plastic tub to make sure there aren’t any spills. You should also double-check to ensure the power is safely connected and your skin is completely covered.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Anodizing and Dying Metal\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Turn on your power source.\", \"描述\": \"Once your power source is on, slowly turn it up to reach your ideal amperage. A good rule of thumb is to use 12 amps per square foot of material. (12 amps per every 0.09 square meters of material).\\nIncreasing the power too fast or using too much can burn your aluminum wires.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep the power supply constant for 45 minutes.\", \"描述\": \"You will see little oxidation bubbles start to form on the surface of the anode. The anode will also start to change color, turning brown, then yellow.\\nIf you don’t see bubbles forming within about 30 seconds of starting your power supply, turn your power supply off and check your connections. This is usually an indicator that your power supply wasn’t properly connected.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Mix your dye during the anodizing process.\", \"描述\": \"If you plan on dying your part, prepare the dye so that it is hot and ready when your anode comes out of the bath. Different dyes will have different requirements, so prepare your dye as directed on the product packaging.\\nHeating the dye will help increase the amount of pigment your part picks up. However, the dye should not be heated to a temperature over 122 °F (50 °C).\\nDye can be damaging to pots, so use an old one that you no longer use for food.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Turn off the power supply after 45 minutes.\", \"描述\": \"Once your anode is done in the bath, turn off your power supply before attempting to retrieve it. Remove your aluminum carefully and rinse it with distilled water.\\nWork quickly if you plan on dying your part.\\nBe sure to wear protective gloves when retrieving and rinsing your part.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Place the aluminum part in the warm dye bath.\", \"描述\": \"Let the part sit in the dye for 15 minutes. If you are only dying part of your anode (such as the bow of a key), wrap your aluminum wire around the part you don’t want to dye. Use this as a handle to dip your anode into the dye.\\nIf you do not plan on dying your aluminum part, skip straight to boiling the part in distilled water for 30 minutes.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Boil distilled water on a hot plate.\", \"描述\": \"You should have enough water to fully submerge your anode. Once your anode is done in the dye bath, remove it and place it in the boiling water for 30 minutes.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Remove the hot metal carefully and allow it to dry.\", \"描述\": \"Set your newly dyed aluminum on a clean towel or rag and allow it to cool completely before handling. Once cooled, the surface should be sealed.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Many of the supplies required for this project can be dangerous if spilled or ingested. Make a workstation away from children and pets. Always wear thick work clothes, safety goggle, and gloves.\\n\", \"Never pour water into acid. It can result in boiling over and blowing up. This reaction is due to the heat generated, and it can result in acid burns.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,721 | Why Do Christians Anoint with Oil? The Biblical Significance of Anointing Oil | 1. Preparing Anointing Oil
1-1. Ask your religious authority about how to honor their traditions.
Each denomination has its own guidelines governing the way that oil is blessed for anointing purposes, as well as the proper way to use anointing oil. Check in with the leader of your congregation and inquire about specific protocols, such as who can anoint others with oil and who is allowed to be anointed.
Some churches have restrictions regarding who may bless or anoint the oil. In some denominations, such as in Catholicism, only a priest or similar clergyman can bless the oil.
Some denominations even limit which clergymen are authorized to declare anointing oil as sacred—also known as "consecrating" it.
Certain denominations, such as the Latter Day Saints, also have guidelines and laws concerning what oil should be consecrated and how it can be used afterward.
In ancient Israel, anointing oil was used in formal ceremonies by religious or royal officials to bless priests or kings and prepare them for their duties. Today, anointing oil is still used in some Jewish practices to signify a person or object as holy.
In other faith-based communities, like Buddhism, Hinduism, or the New Age movement, followers apply anointing oil on themselves for various spiritual purposes, such as calling out for peace or healing.
1-2. Use olive oil since it's symbolic of the anointing of the Holy Spirit.
Choose any type of olive oil that is available. Just bear in mind that it's best to anoint with olive oil instead of another type of oil, as olive oil has greater traditional and biblical significance due to its prevalence in religious texts.
Unless you are told otherwise by a religious authority, you do not need to obtain an oil specifically made for anointing.
Extra-virgin cold-pressed olive oil is often considered the "purest" variety, so many people prefer to use that as an anointing oil.
Oil that has been perfumed with frankincense and myrrh is popular since both natural extracts are referenced in the Bible.
Olive oil is also sacred in Judaism because it is associated with food, medicine, and light. In fact, the Chanukah Lamp used during the 8 days of Chanukah is traditionally kindled with olive oil.
1-3. Fill a special container with oil to honor its spiritual significance.
Find a small vial, bottle, or container that appears sacred or that has a special meaning to you. Make sure that you can tightly close its lid so it does not leak. Check that it is fully clean, then pour your olive oil directly into this container. Once it is in this consecrated vessel, it will serve as your anointing oil.
Pick up a special "oil stock"—a beautiful vessel used for storing anointing oil—for a decorative and meaningful option.
The most common oil stock is a short metal container with a screw-on lid and a sponge lining that holds all the anointing oil. However, less expensive plastic oil stocks are also available.
Alternatively, use a glass dropper bottle or a glass roll-on bottle.
1-4. Add sacred essential oils to the olive oil to pay homage to the Bible.
Historically, people anointed their body to refresh themselves or anointed guests with oil as a sign of hospitality and to honor them (Luke 7:46). Consider adding one of these extracts to your olive oil, all of which are mentioned in the Bible:
Myrrh: a purifier that symbolizes life and death (Romans 6:6)—notably, myrrh was given to Jesus Christ at both His birth and His crucifixion.
Cinnamon: an ingredient that's connected with the cinnamon tree, which grows straight and represents Jesus Christ, the "Upright One" (Song of Solomon 1:3)—when we ourselves are "upright" and righteous, God praises our "sweet aroma" (2 Corinthians 2:14).
Cassia: a leaf that is associated with inner cleansing—the Bible compared it to the "refiner's fire" and a "fuller's soap" (Malachi 3:2).
Calamus: a sweet-smelling reed that represents how devout followers of the Lord bow to His will and exercise humility (Isaiah 57:15).
In Judaism, "Shemen HaMishchah," a specially prepared anointing oil, uses myrrh, cinnamon, and cassia, as well. The Torah outlines that God prescribed these ingredients to create an oil to anoint priests, prophets, and kings.
1-5. Ask God to bless the oil so it can heal or protect yourself and others.
Use the oil to anoint yourself and loved ones without the supervision of a religious authority figure, unless your denomination requires otherwise. While you anoint with the oil, pray and open your heart to the Heavenly Creator. Remember to remain in good faith—ask Him for blessings that are in accordance with His wishes, like healing the sick or protecting your family.
Ask for a spiritual blessing and inner cleansing so that you may bring glory to God, which is known as a "prayer of dedication."
For instance, you might say, "Heavenly Father, I ask for Your blessing upon this oil in Jesus Christ's name. Consecrate it for Your holy purpose and for Your glory. May this be done in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen."
If your denomination prohibits you from blessing oil, ask your religious leader if they will provide you with oil that's been blessed or if they will bless the oil you have.
In Judaism, anointing oil is not typically blessed or consecrated—followers are encouraged to become holy by cultivating their goodness and purity. Oil is sometimes used in certain traditions, but it is part of the process of focusing on inner virtue.
1-6. Store anointing oil at room temperature to maintain its consistency.
The best way to keep the oil fresh is to store it at 68–72 °F (20–22 °C). Avoid storing your oil in the fridge, as it might become cloudy and thicken. When you are not using your anointing oil, put it in a place that's away from sunlight, such as a cupboard.
2. Using Anointing Oil
2-1. Understand the power behind anointing oil: God Himself
. Anointing oil is a symbol to show your faith in God and His ability to cleanse and make things holy. There is nothing mystical or magical about the oil itself, though anointing oil can be a powerful means to display your devotion to the Heavenly Father. As with all other spiritual tools, anointing oil is purely ceremonial—any power to heal or transform people or objects comes from the Lord Himself.
Ancient Israelites rubbed oil on their shields to prepare for war. Christians adopted this practice to ready themselves for a spiritual battle—if you want to resist temptation and strengthen yourself for the Lord, you might anoint yourself with oil (Isiah 21:5).
Anointing oils are also used to purify the body or declare an individual as worthy for a specific purpose or calling according to God's plans: "Anoint them just as you anointed their father, so they may serve Me as priests" (Exodus 40:15).
If you would like to invite the Lord to bless an individual and heal their body, you might anoint them with oil: "Is anyone among you sick? Let us pray over you and anoint you with oil in the name of the Lord" (James 5:14).
If you simply wish to show that you are a loyal follower of God, you may anoint yourself with oil: "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me" (Luke 4:18).
In the Torah, Jacob anointed a stone to dedicate it as his altar to God and designate a special area to pray, which serves as a testament to how anointing oil can be a ceremonial tool to connect with God (Genesis 28:18).
2-2. Honor the Lord by crossing yourself as you apply anointing oil.
While there are different ways to anoint yourself, the most common method is to wet your right thumb with a small amount of the oil—about 1-2 drops—and make a Sign of the Cross on your forehead. This sacred ritual is ideal when you pray, when you are troubled, or when you are sick: the Lord will see your gesture and act on your behalf.
As your anoint yourself by drawing a cross on your forehead, declare, “In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.”
After anointing yourself, continue with your prayers as you usually would, regardless of whether you are honoring the Lord's glory or asking God for healing or forgiveness.
If you are injured or ill, you might also use the anointing oil to cross yourself over the area of your body that is afflicted and pray for your Creator to restore it.
2-3. Anoint others to call on God to bless them, if you're authorized to do so.
When anointing someone else, wet your right thumb with 1-2 drops of the anointing oil and use it to draw a cross in the middle of their forehead. As you draw the cross, announce the person's name and say, "I anoint you with oil in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." Ask your Creator to aid them if they are troubled or ill.
Pray over the other person as you anoint them with the oil. You'll act as a loyal follower of the Lord and reach out to Him so He may shine the power of divine healing upon your friend or loved one.
Follow your declaration to the Lord with any prayers that are appropriate for the person's unique circumstances, such as ones for physical healing, spiritual healing, consecration, or general blessings.
2-4. Anoint door frames with oil to invite the Holy Spirit into your home.
If you have experienced a spiritual problem in your home—such as family tension or marital strife—bless it with anointing oil, which is a common remedy for domestic situations. Anoint your home by putting 1-2 drops of oil on your finger and touching every door frame in your house. The Lord will notice your desire for peace and harmony.
As you anoint each door frame, pray to invoke the Holy Spirit and ask God to fill your home with His light. Ask the Lord to guide everyone in your household so that they may follow His heavenly plans.
The intent of anointing your home is to turn it into a holy sanctuary that honors God.
Warnings
Anointing oil is intended for topical use and should only be applied to your skin—do not take the oil orally as this is not aligned with tradition. Further, many essential oils are not designed to be ingested.[22]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:45:59",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing Anointing Oil\\n1-1. Ask your religious authority about how to honor their traditions.\\nEach denomination has its own guidelines governing the way that oil is blessed for anointing purposes, as well as the proper way to use anointing oil. Check in with the leader of your congregation and inquire about specific protocols, such as who can anoint others with oil and who is allowed to be anointed.\\nSome churches have restrictions regarding who may bless or anoint the oil. In some denominations, such as in Catholicism, only a priest or similar clergyman can bless the oil.\\nSome denominations even limit which clergymen are authorized to declare anointing oil as sacred—also known as \\\"consecrating\\\" it.\\nCertain denominations, such as the Latter Day Saints, also have guidelines and laws concerning what oil should be consecrated and how it can be used afterward.\\nIn ancient Israel, anointing oil was used in formal ceremonies by religious or royal officials to bless priests or kings and prepare them for their duties. Today, anointing oil is still used in some Jewish practices to signify a person or object as holy.\\nIn other faith-based communities, like Buddhism, Hinduism, or the New Age movement, followers apply anointing oil on themselves for various spiritual purposes, such as calling out for peace or healing.\\n1-2. Use olive oil since it's symbolic of the anointing of the Holy Spirit.\\nChoose any type of olive oil that is available. Just bear in mind that it's best to anoint with olive oil instead of another type of oil, as olive oil has greater traditional and biblical significance due to its prevalence in religious texts.\\nUnless you are told otherwise by a religious authority, you do not need to obtain an oil specifically made for anointing.\\n\\nExtra-virgin cold-pressed olive oil is often considered the \\\"purest\\\" variety, so many people prefer to use that as an anointing oil.\\nOil that has been perfumed with frankincense and myrrh is popular since both natural extracts are referenced in the Bible.\\nOlive oil is also sacred in Judaism because it is associated with food, medicine, and light. In fact, the Chanukah Lamp used during the 8 days of Chanukah is traditionally kindled with olive oil.\\n1-3. Fill a special container with oil to honor its spiritual significance.\\nFind a small vial, bottle, or container that appears sacred or that has a special meaning to you. Make sure that you can tightly close its lid so it does not leak. Check that it is fully clean, then pour your olive oil directly into this container. Once it is in this consecrated vessel, it will serve as your anointing oil.\\nPick up a special \\\"oil stock\\\"—a beautiful vessel used for storing anointing oil—for a decorative and meaningful option.\\nThe most common oil stock is a short metal container with a screw-on lid and a sponge lining that holds all the anointing oil. However, less expensive plastic oil stocks are also available.\\nAlternatively, use a glass dropper bottle or a glass roll-on bottle.\\n1-4. Add sacred essential oils to the olive oil to pay homage to the Bible.\\nHistorically, people anointed their body to refresh themselves or anointed guests with oil as a sign of hospitality and to honor them (Luke 7:46). Consider adding one of these extracts to your olive oil, all of which are mentioned in the Bible:\\n\\nMyrrh: a purifier that symbolizes life and death (Romans 6:6)—notably, myrrh was given to Jesus Christ at both His birth and His crucifixion.\\nCinnamon: an ingredient that's connected with the cinnamon tree, which grows straight and represents Jesus Christ, the \\\"Upright One\\\" (Song of Solomon 1:3)—when we ourselves are \\\"upright\\\" and righteous, God praises our \\\"sweet aroma\\\" (2 Corinthians 2:14).\\nCassia: a leaf that is associated with inner cleansing—the Bible compared it to the \\\"refiner's fire\\\" and a \\\"fuller's soap\\\" (Malachi 3:2).\\nCalamus: a sweet-smelling reed that represents how devout followers of the Lord bow to His will and exercise humility (Isaiah 57:15).\\nIn Judaism, \\\"Shemen HaMishchah,\\\" a specially prepared anointing oil, uses myrrh, cinnamon, and cassia, as well. The Torah outlines that God prescribed these ingredients to create an oil to anoint priests, prophets, and kings.\\n1-5. Ask God to bless the oil so it can heal or protect yourself and others.\\nUse the oil to anoint yourself and loved ones without the supervision of a religious authority figure, unless your denomination requires otherwise. While you anoint with the oil, pray and open your heart to the Heavenly Creator. Remember to remain in good faith—ask Him for blessings that are in accordance with His wishes, like healing the sick or protecting your family.\\nAsk for a spiritual blessing and inner cleansing so that you may bring glory to God, which is known as a \\\"prayer of dedication.\\\"\\nFor instance, you might say, \\\"Heavenly Father, I ask for Your blessing upon this oil in Jesus Christ's name. Consecrate it for Your holy purpose and for Your glory. May this be done in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.\\\"\\nIf your denomination prohibits you from blessing oil, ask your religious leader if they will provide you with oil that's been blessed or if they will bless the oil you have.\\nIn Judaism, anointing oil is not typically blessed or consecrated—followers are encouraged to become holy by cultivating their goodness and purity. Oil is sometimes used in certain traditions, but it is part of the process of focusing on inner virtue.\\n1-6. Store anointing oil at room temperature to maintain its consistency.\\nThe best way to keep the oil fresh is to store it at 68–72 °F (20–22 °C). Avoid storing your oil in the fridge, as it might become cloudy and thicken. When you are not using your anointing oil, put it in a place that's away from sunlight, such as a cupboard.\\n2. Using Anointing Oil\\n2-1. Understand the power behind anointing oil: God Himself\\n. Anointing oil is a symbol to show your faith in God and His ability to cleanse and make things holy. There is nothing mystical or magical about the oil itself, though anointing oil can be a powerful means to display your devotion to the Heavenly Father. As with all other spiritual tools, anointing oil is purely ceremonial—any power to heal or transform people or objects comes from the Lord Himself.\\nAncient Israelites rubbed oil on their shields to prepare for war. Christians adopted this practice to ready themselves for a spiritual battle—if you want to resist temptation and strengthen yourself for the Lord, you might anoint yourself with oil (Isiah 21:5).\\nAnointing oils are also used to purify the body or declare an individual as worthy for a specific purpose or calling according to God's plans: \\\"Anoint them just as you anointed their father, so they may serve Me as priests\\\" (Exodus 40:15).\\nIf you would like to invite the Lord to bless an individual and heal their body, you might anoint them with oil: \\\"Is anyone among you sick? Let us pray over you and anoint you with oil in the name of the Lord\\\" (James 5:14).\\nIf you simply wish to show that you are a loyal follower of God, you may anoint yourself with oil: \\\"The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me\\\" (Luke 4:18).\\nIn the Torah, Jacob anointed a stone to dedicate it as his altar to God and designate a special area to pray, which serves as a testament to how anointing oil can be a ceremonial tool to connect with God (Genesis 28:18).\\n2-2. Honor the Lord by crossing yourself as you apply anointing oil.\\nWhile there are different ways to anoint yourself, the most common method is to wet your right thumb with a small amount of the oil—about 1-2 drops—and make a Sign of the Cross on your forehead. This sacred ritual is ideal when you pray, when you are troubled, or when you are sick: the Lord will see your gesture and act on your behalf.\\nAs your anoint yourself by drawing a cross on your forehead, declare, “In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.”\\nAfter anointing yourself, continue with your prayers as you usually would, regardless of whether you are honoring the Lord's glory or asking God for healing or forgiveness.\\nIf you are injured or ill, you might also use the anointing oil to cross yourself over the area of your body that is afflicted and pray for your Creator to restore it.\\n2-3. Anoint others to call on God to bless them, if you're authorized to do so.\\nWhen anointing someone else, wet your right thumb with 1-2 drops of the anointing oil and use it to draw a cross in the middle of their forehead. As you draw the cross, announce the person's name and say, \\\"I anoint you with oil in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.\\\" Ask your Creator to aid them if they are troubled or ill.\\nPray over the other person as you anoint them with the oil. You'll act as a loyal follower of the Lord and reach out to Him so He may shine the power of divine healing upon your friend or loved one.\\nFollow your declaration to the Lord with any prayers that are appropriate for the person's unique circumstances, such as ones for physical healing, spiritual healing, consecration, or general blessings.\\n2-4. Anoint door frames with oil to invite the Holy Spirit into your home.\\nIf you have experienced a spiritual problem in your home—such as family tension or marital strife—bless it with anointing oil, which is a common remedy for domestic situations. Anoint your home by putting 1-2 drops of oil on your finger and touching every door frame in your house. The Lord will notice your desire for peace and harmony.\\nAs you anoint each door frame, pray to invoke the Holy Spirit and ask God to fill your home with His light. Ask the Lord to guide everyone in your household so that they may follow His heavenly plans.\\nThe intent of anointing your home is to turn it into a holy sanctuary that honors God.\\nWarnings\\nAnointing oil is intended for topical use and should only be applied to your skin—do not take the oil orally as this is not aligned with tradition. Further, many essential oils are not designed to be ingested.[22]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Creating \\\"anointing oil,\\\" also known as blessing or consecrating oil, is a ceremonial act that turns standard olive oil into a great spiritual symbol and tool. The process is straightforward and it's a wonderful way to call out to the Lord and ask for His blessings. Here, we'll discuss the history of anointing oil as well as the significance it carries for devout followers of Christ today. We'll also share how to prepare anointing oil for your own prayers. Read on for guidance on how to use anointing oil to strengthen your connection with the Heavenly Father.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing Anointing Oil\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask your religious authority about how to honor their traditions.\", \"描述\": \"Each denomination has its own guidelines governing the way that oil is blessed for anointing purposes, as well as the proper way to use anointing oil. Check in with the leader of your congregation and inquire about specific protocols, such as who can anoint others with oil and who is allowed to be anointed.\\nSome churches have restrictions regarding who may bless or anoint the oil. In some denominations, such as in Catholicism, only a priest or similar clergyman can bless the oil.\\nSome denominations even limit which clergymen are authorized to declare anointing oil as sacred—also known as \\\"consecrating\\\" it.\\nCertain denominations, such as the Latter Day Saints, also have guidelines and laws concerning what oil should be consecrated and how it can be used afterward.\\nIn ancient Israel, anointing oil was used in formal ceremonies by religious or royal officials to bless priests or kings and prepare them for their duties. Today, anointing oil is still used in some Jewish practices to signify a person or object as holy.\\nIn other faith-based communities, like Buddhism, Hinduism, or the New Age movement, followers apply anointing oil on themselves for various spiritual purposes, such as calling out for peace or healing.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use olive oil since it's symbolic of the anointing of the Holy Spirit.\", \"描述\": \"Choose any type of olive oil that is available. Just bear in mind that it's best to anoint with olive oil instead of another type of oil, as olive oil has greater traditional and biblical significance due to its prevalence in religious texts.\\nUnless you are told otherwise by a religious authority, you do not need to obtain an oil specifically made for anointing.\\n\\nExtra-virgin cold-pressed olive oil is often considered the \\\"purest\\\" variety, so many people prefer to use that as an anointing oil.\\nOil that has been perfumed with frankincense and myrrh is popular since both natural extracts are referenced in the Bible.\\nOlive oil is also sacred in Judaism because it is associated with food, medicine, and light. In fact, the Chanukah Lamp used during the 8 days of Chanukah is traditionally kindled with olive oil.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Fill a special container with oil to honor its spiritual significance.\", \"描述\": \"Find a small vial, bottle, or container that appears sacred or that has a special meaning to you. Make sure that you can tightly close its lid so it does not leak. Check that it is fully clean, then pour your olive oil directly into this container. Once it is in this consecrated vessel, it will serve as your anointing oil.\\nPick up a special \\\"oil stock\\\"—a beautiful vessel used for storing anointing oil—for a decorative and meaningful option.\\nThe most common oil stock is a short metal container with a screw-on lid and a sponge lining that holds all the anointing oil. However, less expensive plastic oil stocks are also available.\\nAlternatively, use a glass dropper bottle or a glass roll-on bottle.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Add sacred essential oils to the olive oil to pay homage to the Bible.\", \"描述\": \"Historically, people anointed their body to refresh themselves or anointed guests with oil as a sign of hospitality and to honor them (Luke 7:46). Consider adding one of these extracts to your olive oil, all of which are mentioned in the Bible:\\n\\nMyrrh: a purifier that symbolizes life and death (Romans 6:6)—notably, myrrh was given to Jesus Christ at both His birth and His crucifixion.\\nCinnamon: an ingredient that's connected with the cinnamon tree, which grows straight and represents Jesus Christ, the \\\"Upright One\\\" (Song of Solomon 1:3)—when we ourselves are \\\"upright\\\" and righteous, God praises our \\\"sweet aroma\\\" (2 Corinthians 2:14).\\nCassia: a leaf that is associated with inner cleansing—the Bible compared it to the \\\"refiner's fire\\\" and a \\\"fuller's soap\\\" (Malachi 3:2).\\nCalamus: a sweet-smelling reed that represents how devout followers of the Lord bow to His will and exercise humility (Isaiah 57:15).\\nIn Judaism, \\\"Shemen HaMishchah,\\\" a specially prepared anointing oil, uses myrrh, cinnamon, and cassia, as well. The Torah outlines that God prescribed these ingredients to create an oil to anoint priests, prophets, and kings.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask God to bless the oil so it can heal or protect yourself and others.\", \"描述\": \"Use the oil to anoint yourself and loved ones without the supervision of a religious authority figure, unless your denomination requires otherwise. While you anoint with the oil, pray and open your heart to the Heavenly Creator. Remember to remain in good faith—ask Him for blessings that are in accordance with His wishes, like healing the sick or protecting your family.\\nAsk for a spiritual blessing and inner cleansing so that you may bring glory to God, which is known as a \\\"prayer of dedication.\\\"\\nFor instance, you might say, \\\"Heavenly Father, I ask for Your blessing upon this oil in Jesus Christ's name. Consecrate it for Your holy purpose and for Your glory. May this be done in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.\\\"\\nIf your denomination prohibits you from blessing oil, ask your religious leader if they will provide you with oil that's been blessed or if they will bless the oil you have.\\nIn Judaism, anointing oil is not typically blessed or consecrated—followers are encouraged to become holy by cultivating their goodness and purity. Oil is sometimes used in certain traditions, but it is part of the process of focusing on inner virtue.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Store anointing oil at room temperature to maintain its consistency.\", \"描述\": \"The best way to keep the oil fresh is to store it at 68–72 °F (20–22 °C). Avoid storing your oil in the fridge, as it might become cloudy and thicken. When you are not using your anointing oil, put it in a place that's away from sunlight, such as a cupboard.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Using Anointing Oil\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand the power behind anointing oil: God Himself\", \"描述\": \". Anointing oil is a symbol to show your faith in God and His ability to cleanse and make things holy. There is nothing mystical or magical about the oil itself, though anointing oil can be a powerful means to display your devotion to the Heavenly Father. As with all other spiritual tools, anointing oil is purely ceremonial—any power to heal or transform people or objects comes from the Lord Himself.\\nAncient Israelites rubbed oil on their shields to prepare for war. Christians adopted this practice to ready themselves for a spiritual battle—if you want to resist temptation and strengthen yourself for the Lord, you might anoint yourself with oil (Isiah 21:5).\\nAnointing oils are also used to purify the body or declare an individual as worthy for a specific purpose or calling according to God's plans: \\\"Anoint them just as you anointed their father, so they may serve Me as priests\\\" (Exodus 40:15).\\nIf you would like to invite the Lord to bless an individual and heal their body, you might anoint them with oil: \\\"Is anyone among you sick? Let us pray over you and anoint you with oil in the name of the Lord\\\" (James 5:14).\\nIf you simply wish to show that you are a loyal follower of God, you may anoint yourself with oil: \\\"The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me\\\" (Luke 4:18).\\nIn the Torah, Jacob anointed a stone to dedicate it as his altar to God and designate a special area to pray, which serves as a testament to how anointing oil can be a ceremonial tool to connect with God (Genesis 28:18).\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Honor the Lord by crossing yourself as you apply anointing oil.\", \"描述\": \"While there are different ways to anoint yourself, the most common method is to wet your right thumb with a small amount of the oil—about 1-2 drops—and make a Sign of the Cross on your forehead. This sacred ritual is ideal when you pray, when you are troubled, or when you are sick: the Lord will see your gesture and act on your behalf.\\nAs your anoint yourself by drawing a cross on your forehead, declare, “In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.”\\nAfter anointing yourself, continue with your prayers as you usually would, regardless of whether you are honoring the Lord's glory or asking God for healing or forgiveness.\\nIf you are injured or ill, you might also use the anointing oil to cross yourself over the area of your body that is afflicted and pray for your Creator to restore it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Anoint others to call on God to bless them, if you're authorized to do so.\", \"描述\": \"When anointing someone else, wet your right thumb with 1-2 drops of the anointing oil and use it to draw a cross in the middle of their forehead. As you draw the cross, announce the person's name and say, \\\"I anoint you with oil in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.\\\" Ask your Creator to aid them if they are troubled or ill.\\nPray over the other person as you anoint them with the oil. You'll act as a loyal follower of the Lord and reach out to Him so He may shine the power of divine healing upon your friend or loved one.\\nFollow your declaration to the Lord with any prayers that are appropriate for the person's unique circumstances, such as ones for physical healing, spiritual healing, consecration, or general blessings.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Anoint door frames with oil to invite the Holy Spirit into your home.\", \"描述\": \"If you have experienced a spiritual problem in your home—such as family tension or marital strife—bless it with anointing oil, which is a common remedy for domestic situations. Anoint your home by putting 1-2 drops of oil on your finger and touching every door frame in your house. The Lord will notice your desire for peace and harmony.\\nAs you anoint each door frame, pray to invoke the Holy Spirit and ask God to fill your home with His light. Ask the Lord to guide everyone in your household so that they may follow His heavenly plans.\\nThe intent of anointing your home is to turn it into a holy sanctuary that honors God.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Anointing oil is intended for topical use and should only be applied to your skin—do not take the oil orally as this is not aligned with tradition. Further, many essential oils are not designed to be ingested.[22]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
1,722 | How to Anonymously Check Outstanding Warrants | 1. Using Official Sources to Search for Outstanding Warrants
1-1. Look for official government websites.
The Internet is going to be your best tool for searching warrant records. If you have a location in mind where you would most expect the warrant to exist, you can search for that city, county or state’s official website.
Official government sites typically end in .gov or .us. The information on these sites is generally kept very current, and you can search anonymously.
For example, in Florida, you can search the Florida Crime Information System Public Access Center. That site asks you to provide the name, race, gender and birth date (if available) for the person you are searching.
The Maryland Department of Public Safety and Correctional Services maintains a website at www.dpscs.maryland.gov. At that site, you can find information about outstanding violation warrants for parole violations or the “most wanted” list.
1-2. Contact a court clerk directly and anonymously.
If you cannot find a searchable online database that contains the information you seek, you may try calling the court clerk directly. When you call, if you have a specific case number to reference, that may assist the search. If not, you can just ask the clerk to search for any outstanding warrants for any name. You may do this anonymously and just ask, “Will you search for any outstanding warrants on record for John Smith?” You may need to specify whether you are interested in criminal, civil, or both.
Criminal warrants are a matter of public record, and you should be able to get the information whether you are calling for yourself or about someone else. Some civil matters are more confidential and may not be available over the phone.
You will need to have some idea of the area where a warrant may have issued. State courts are generally divided by county or into circuits. You can look up the state’s official court website to get telephone contact information for any given county or circuit.
Be aware that the courts or police could trace a telephone call and use the information to locate and arrest you. If you are truly concerned about your anonymity, you could call from a public phone, or ask a friend to make the call for you.
1-3. Search the public records at the courthouse.
Many courts offer public access computer terminals that will allow you to search the court’s own records for outstanding warrants. Courts are public buildings that you can enter without having to show identification. Similarly, you will be allowed to use the search terminals without having to identify yourself. You can search the records by name or by case number, if you have one.
If you are truly concerned for your anonymity, you may wish to have someone else visit the court and conduct the search for you. If an arrest warrant is outstanding, you risk being taken into custody if you are recognized by a court officer.
2. Protecting Your Anonymity
2-1. Limit your search to official sites.
Official warrant search sites, whether sponsored by a court or by a law enforcement branch, generally do not ask for your identification in order to conduct a search. You do need to enter the name and other identifying information of the person you are searching for, but you do not need to need to identify yourself as the person conducting the search. The court cannot infer that the person conducting the search is the same as the person being searched.
By contrast, many of the online, commercial sites require you to provide your credit card or your own residential address in order to conduct a search. Although the companies suggest that your search will be anonymous, the information that you provide online is not protected by any legal privilege and could be obtained by law enforcement agencies.
2-2. Work with an attorney.
If you believe that a criminal warrant may exist for your arrest, you may wish to work with an attorney. In addition to advising you on the legal issues involved, an attorney can anonymously conduct a search for you. The work that an attorney does on your behalf, such as contacting a police department or a court clerk's office, will be protected by the attorney/client privilege.
For example, if your attorney calls the police department to check on any outstanding warrants for your arrest, the inquiry could make the police suspicious if they are looking for you. If the police ask your attorney to tell them how to find you, your attorney would respond that the information is privileged and cannot be disclosed.
2-3. Enlist help from a trusted friend or family member.
If you are concerned about maintaining your anonymity, you may not want to visit the court or police department in person. In most cases, anyone can request information about outstanding warrants. You could ask a friend or family member to visit the court or police station on your behalf and ask for the information.
Many court clerk's offices provide one or more computer terminals that are available for public use to check official records. Your friend can generally access these computers without providing any identification and then conduct the search individually.
If anyone at the court should happen to ask your friend to provide information about your location, your friend is not required to do so. If asked, your friend should respond, "I don't believe I am required to provide that information for searching public records."
3. Searching Carefully on Commercial Sites for Outstanding Warrants
3-1. Review online commercial search engines.
If you conduct a general search on the Internet for the phrase "warrant search," you will find many third party commercial websites. These sites collect information from a range of publicly available sources about any individual that you wish to search. When you obtain the list of sites, you should check them to see what they claim and how wide their searches will be.
For example, the site SpyFly.com asserts that its site is "Completely Confidential and Anonymous" and that it searches "over a billion pieces of specific information."
The site PublicRecordsReviews.com claims that "Warrant Lookup is available instantly. We allow you to search for free and to do unlimited searches on all records included in Warrant Lookup."
3-2. Read the disclaimer information carefully.
Realize that the commercial search engines are in the business primarily to make money, not to provide a public service or source of information. As a result, you need to be careful about the information that you find. Do not act exclusively on information that you receive from commercial search engines.
For example, the disclaimer on SpyFly.com says, "Please be EXTREMELY careful when reviewing a person's criminal history. Please DO NOT use this information without further investigating the accuracy of the information."
The site InstantCheckmate.com contains a disclaimer that says, "The information available on our website may not be 100% accurate, complete or up to date, so do not use it as a substitute for your own due diligence."
3-3. Begin your search by entering the person's name.
Most commercial search engines will allow you to initiate your search with just the subject's name. In some cases, if you are not certain of the correct spelling, you are able to mark a box that indicates that the name is approximate, and the computer will conduct a broader search.
For example, on the site InstantCheckmate.com, you can begin your search by entering only the subject's name. If you have a single state in mind, you can also select that to narrow the results that you will get.
3-4. Provide limiting information for better results.
If you can narrow the search, your search is likely to result in more useful information. Some commercial sites will provide the opportunity for you to provide additional information. If you have the information available, your results will likely be more useful. This additional information could include any of the following:
court name
case name, if applicable
case number
appearance of the individual
last known residential address
3-5. Conduct an advanced search, if available.
An initial search, based only on name and state can result in as many as two or three dozen, or more, matches. On InstantCheckmate.com, for example, you will be offered the opportunity to conduct an advanced search. If you select this option, you will be prompted to provide a middle initial, current or previous city of residence, and the subject's age. Providing this added information will make your search more focused and more reliable.
3-6. Access your report.
The initial level of searching on most commercial sites will provide you with just a list of names or places of residence that have turned up some information. You do not actually get to see the information from the public records. To see the report, you then need to choose one of the people from the list and click on "Show Report." This will then take a few minutes for the search engine to compile the actual report from the public records. During the process, you will see an update of the type of records being searched.
For example, during a search on InstantCheckmate.com, the report shows your progress through "Popular Records," "Criminal and Arrest Summary," "Social Media Summary," "Relative Selector," and "State Records Summary."
3-7. Choose to save your results.
After the search is complete, you will be prompted to enter your name and email address if you wish to receive an electronic copy of the search results.
Be aware that, on many sites, by providing your email address, you may be adding your name to an email list for that company.
3-8. Provide payment information.
On most sites, you are required to pay to see the final report. Payment is generally completed by providing a credit card number, along with your name, expiration date and security code. Some sites accept payment through PayPal as well.You will need to select a payment option from two or three different choices:
Single fee for obtaining the single current report
One month subscription fee
Three month subscription fee
You must read the disclaimer information carefully when making payment. On many sites, signing up for the subscription includes a recurring payment that will automatically deduct from your credit card each month, until you call to cancel.
3-9. Verify the results with a follow-up search.
The results that you obtain from commercial sites are not going to be as reliable as the information you would get directly from a court or law enforcement official site. The commercial sites are readily available and are quicker to use. However, after you get information from a commercial search engine, you should then visit the official governmental site and attempt to confirm the information.
For example, if an online search turns up a report of a warrant for unpaid child support in Oklahoma City, you could then call the court clerk in Oklahoma City. Ask directly, “I am calling to confirm some information. Do you have a record of an outstanding warrant for Mr. X (fill in the name)?”
Tips
In addition to conducting the search yourself, you could hire an attorney to look into the matter for you. This will obviously cost more, but an attorney will have the best contacts with the courts and will be able to insulate you from law enforcement. If a warrant does exist for your arrest, an attorney will be able to advise you how to proceed.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:45:59",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Using Official Sources to Search for Outstanding Warrants\\n1-1. Look for official government websites.\\nThe Internet is going to be your best tool for searching warrant records. If you have a location in mind where you would most expect the warrant to exist, you can search for that city, county or state’s official website.\\nOfficial government sites typically end in .gov or .us. The information on these sites is generally kept very current, and you can search anonymously.\\nFor example, in Florida, you can search the Florida Crime Information System Public Access Center. That site asks you to provide the name, race, gender and birth date (if available) for the person you are searching.\\nThe Maryland Department of Public Safety and Correctional Services maintains a website at www.dpscs.maryland.gov. At that site, you can find information about outstanding violation warrants for parole violations or the “most wanted” list.\\n1-2. Contact a court clerk directly and anonymously.\\nIf you cannot find a searchable online database that contains the information you seek, you may try calling the court clerk directly. When you call, if you have a specific case number to reference, that may assist the search. If not, you can just ask the clerk to search for any outstanding warrants for any name. You may do this anonymously and just ask, “Will you search for any outstanding warrants on record for John Smith?” You may need to specify whether you are interested in criminal, civil, or both.\\nCriminal warrants are a matter of public record, and you should be able to get the information whether you are calling for yourself or about someone else. Some civil matters are more confidential and may not be available over the phone.\\nYou will need to have some idea of the area where a warrant may have issued. State courts are generally divided by county or into circuits. You can look up the state’s official court website to get telephone contact information for any given county or circuit.\\nBe aware that the courts or police could trace a telephone call and use the information to locate and arrest you. If you are truly concerned about your anonymity, you could call from a public phone, or ask a friend to make the call for you.\\n1-3. Search the public records at the courthouse.\\nMany courts offer public access computer terminals that will allow you to search the court’s own records for outstanding warrants. Courts are public buildings that you can enter without having to show identification. Similarly, you will be allowed to use the search terminals without having to identify yourself. You can search the records by name or by case number, if you have one.\\nIf you are truly concerned for your anonymity, you may wish to have someone else visit the court and conduct the search for you. If an arrest warrant is outstanding, you risk being taken into custody if you are recognized by a court officer.\\n2. Protecting Your Anonymity\\n2-1. Limit your search to official sites.\\nOfficial warrant search sites, whether sponsored by a court or by a law enforcement branch, generally do not ask for your identification in order to conduct a search. You do need to enter the name and other identifying information of the person you are searching for, but you do not need to need to identify yourself as the person conducting the search. The court cannot infer that the person conducting the search is the same as the person being searched.\\nBy contrast, many of the online, commercial sites require you to provide your credit card or your own residential address in order to conduct a search. Although the companies suggest that your search will be anonymous, the information that you provide online is not protected by any legal privilege and could be obtained by law enforcement agencies.\\n2-2. Work with an attorney.\\nIf you believe that a criminal warrant may exist for your arrest, you may wish to work with an attorney. In addition to advising you on the legal issues involved, an attorney can anonymously conduct a search for you. The work that an attorney does on your behalf, such as contacting a police department or a court clerk's office, will be protected by the attorney/client privilege.\\nFor example, if your attorney calls the police department to check on any outstanding warrants for your arrest, the inquiry could make the police suspicious if they are looking for you. If the police ask your attorney to tell them how to find you, your attorney would respond that the information is privileged and cannot be disclosed.\\n2-3. Enlist help from a trusted friend or family member.\\nIf you are concerned about maintaining your anonymity, you may not want to visit the court or police department in person. In most cases, anyone can request information about outstanding warrants. You could ask a friend or family member to visit the court or police station on your behalf and ask for the information.\\nMany court clerk's offices provide one or more computer terminals that are available for public use to check official records. Your friend can generally access these computers without providing any identification and then conduct the search individually.\\nIf anyone at the court should happen to ask your friend to provide information about your location, your friend is not required to do so. If asked, your friend should respond, \\\"I don't believe I am required to provide that information for searching public records.\\\"\\n3. Searching Carefully on Commercial Sites for Outstanding Warrants\\n3-1. Review online commercial search engines.\\nIf you conduct a general search on the Internet for the phrase \\\"warrant search,\\\" you will find many third party commercial websites. These sites collect information from a range of publicly available sources about any individual that you wish to search. When you obtain the list of sites, you should check them to see what they claim and how wide their searches will be.\\nFor example, the site SpyFly.com asserts that its site is \\\"Completely Confidential and Anonymous\\\" and that it searches \\\"over a billion pieces of specific information.\\\"\\nThe site PublicRecordsReviews.com claims that \\\"Warrant Lookup is available instantly. We allow you to search for free and to do unlimited searches on all records included in Warrant Lookup.\\\"\\n3-2. Read the disclaimer information carefully.\\nRealize that the commercial search engines are in the business primarily to make money, not to provide a public service or source of information. As a result, you need to be careful about the information that you find. Do not act exclusively on information that you receive from commercial search engines.\\nFor example, the disclaimer on SpyFly.com says, \\\"Please be EXTREMELY careful when reviewing a person's criminal history. Please DO NOT use this information without further investigating the accuracy of the information.\\\"\\nThe site InstantCheckmate.com contains a disclaimer that says, \\\"The information available on our website may not be 100% accurate, complete or up to date, so do not use it as a substitute for your own due diligence.\\\"\\n3-3. Begin your search by entering the person's name.\\nMost commercial search engines will allow you to initiate your search with just the subject's name. In some cases, if you are not certain of the correct spelling, you are able to mark a box that indicates that the name is approximate, and the computer will conduct a broader search.\\nFor example, on the site InstantCheckmate.com, you can begin your search by entering only the subject's name. If you have a single state in mind, you can also select that to narrow the results that you will get.\\n3-4. Provide limiting information for better results.\\nIf you can narrow the search, your search is likely to result in more useful information. Some commercial sites will provide the opportunity for you to provide additional information. If you have the information available, your results will likely be more useful. This additional information could include any of the following:\\ncourt name\\ncase name, if applicable\\ncase number\\nappearance of the individual\\nlast known residential address\\n3-5. Conduct an advanced search, if available.\\nAn initial search, based only on name and state can result in as many as two or three dozen, or more, matches. On InstantCheckmate.com, for example, you will be offered the opportunity to conduct an advanced search. If you select this option, you will be prompted to provide a middle initial, current or previous city of residence, and the subject's age. Providing this added information will make your search more focused and more reliable.\\n3-6. Access your report.\\nThe initial level of searching on most commercial sites will provide you with just a list of names or places of residence that have turned up some information. You do not actually get to see the information from the public records. To see the report, you then need to choose one of the people from the list and click on \\\"Show Report.\\\" This will then take a few minutes for the search engine to compile the actual report from the public records. During the process, you will see an update of the type of records being searched.\\nFor example, during a search on InstantCheckmate.com, the report shows your progress through \\\"Popular Records,\\\" \\\"Criminal and Arrest Summary,\\\" \\\"Social Media Summary,\\\" \\\"Relative Selector,\\\" and \\\"State Records Summary.\\\"\\n3-7. Choose to save your results.\\nAfter the search is complete, you will be prompted to enter your name and email address if you wish to receive an electronic copy of the search results.\\nBe aware that, on many sites, by providing your email address, you may be adding your name to an email list for that company.\\n3-8. Provide payment information.\\nOn most sites, you are required to pay to see the final report. Payment is generally completed by providing a credit card number, along with your name, expiration date and security code. Some sites accept payment through PayPal as well.You will need to select a payment option from two or three different choices:\\nSingle fee for obtaining the single current report\\nOne month subscription fee\\nThree month subscription fee\\nYou must read the disclaimer information carefully when making payment. On many sites, signing up for the subscription includes a recurring payment that will automatically deduct from your credit card each month, until you call to cancel.\\n3-9. Verify the results with a follow-up search.\\nThe results that you obtain from commercial sites are not going to be as reliable as the information you would get directly from a court or law enforcement official site. The commercial sites are readily available and are quicker to use. However, after you get information from a commercial search engine, you should then visit the official governmental site and attempt to confirm the information.\\nFor example, if an online search turns up a report of a warrant for unpaid child support in Oklahoma City, you could then call the court clerk in Oklahoma City. Ask directly, “I am calling to confirm some information. Do you have a record of an outstanding warrant for Mr. X (fill in the name)?”\\nTips\\nIn addition to conducting the search yourself, you could hire an attorney to look into the matter for you. This will obviously cost more, but an attorney will have the best contacts with the courts and will be able to insulate you from law enforcement. If a warrant does exist for your arrest, an attorney will be able to advise you how to proceed.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"There are several ways that a warrant could be issued for your arrest and you may not know about it. Some warrants are issued because the police believe they have evidence of a crime, but more warrants are issued for civil (non-criminal) matters. Reasons a warrant has been issued could include unpaid fines or court fees, issues related to parole or probation, or child support obligations. It is even possible, though unlikely, for a warrant to be issued by mistake. In any case, if a warrant is issued and you are not aware of its existence, then you risk being arrested at any time without warning. You need to know that there are several ways you can check the official records anonymously to find out about any warrants.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Using Official Sources to Search for Outstanding Warrants\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look for official government websites.\", \"描述\": \"The Internet is going to be your best tool for searching warrant records. If you have a location in mind where you would most expect the warrant to exist, you can search for that city, county or state’s official website.\\nOfficial government sites typically end in .gov or .us. The information on these sites is generally kept very current, and you can search anonymously.\\nFor example, in Florida, you can search the Florida Crime Information System Public Access Center. That site asks you to provide the name, race, gender and birth date (if available) for the person you are searching.\\nThe Maryland Department of Public Safety and Correctional Services maintains a website at www.dpscs.maryland.gov. At that site, you can find information about outstanding violation warrants for parole violations or the “most wanted” list.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Contact a court clerk directly and anonymously.\", \"描述\": \"If you cannot find a searchable online database that contains the information you seek, you may try calling the court clerk directly. When you call, if you have a specific case number to reference, that may assist the search. If not, you can just ask the clerk to search for any outstanding warrants for any name. You may do this anonymously and just ask, “Will you search for any outstanding warrants on record for John Smith?” You may need to specify whether you are interested in criminal, civil, or both.\\nCriminal warrants are a matter of public record, and you should be able to get the information whether you are calling for yourself or about someone else. Some civil matters are more confidential and may not be available over the phone.\\nYou will need to have some idea of the area where a warrant may have issued. State courts are generally divided by county or into circuits. You can look up the state’s official court website to get telephone contact information for any given county or circuit.\\nBe aware that the courts or police could trace a telephone call and use the information to locate and arrest you. If you are truly concerned about your anonymity, you could call from a public phone, or ask a friend to make the call for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Search the public records at the courthouse.\", \"描述\": \"Many courts offer public access computer terminals that will allow you to search the court’s own records for outstanding warrants. Courts are public buildings that you can enter without having to show identification. Similarly, you will be allowed to use the search terminals without having to identify yourself. You can search the records by name or by case number, if you have one.\\nIf you are truly concerned for your anonymity, you may wish to have someone else visit the court and conduct the search for you. If an arrest warrant is outstanding, you risk being taken into custody if you are recognized by a court officer.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Protecting Your Anonymity\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Limit your search to official sites.\", \"描述\": \"Official warrant search sites, whether sponsored by a court or by a law enforcement branch, generally do not ask for your identification in order to conduct a search. You do need to enter the name and other identifying information of the person you are searching for, but you do not need to need to identify yourself as the person conducting the search. The court cannot infer that the person conducting the search is the same as the person being searched.\\nBy contrast, many of the online, commercial sites require you to provide your credit card or your own residential address in order to conduct a search. Although the companies suggest that your search will be anonymous, the information that you provide online is not protected by any legal privilege and could be obtained by law enforcement agencies.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Work with an attorney.\", \"描述\": \"If you believe that a criminal warrant may exist for your arrest, you may wish to work with an attorney. In addition to advising you on the legal issues involved, an attorney can anonymously conduct a search for you. The work that an attorney does on your behalf, such as contacting a police department or a court clerk's office, will be protected by the attorney/client privilege.\\nFor example, if your attorney calls the police department to check on any outstanding warrants for your arrest, the inquiry could make the police suspicious if they are looking for you. If the police ask your attorney to tell them how to find you, your attorney would respond that the information is privileged and cannot be disclosed.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Enlist help from a trusted friend or family member.\", \"描述\": \"If you are concerned about maintaining your anonymity, you may not want to visit the court or police department in person. In most cases, anyone can request information about outstanding warrants. You could ask a friend or family member to visit the court or police station on your behalf and ask for the information.\\nMany court clerk's offices provide one or more computer terminals that are available for public use to check official records. Your friend can generally access these computers without providing any identification and then conduct the search individually.\\nIf anyone at the court should happen to ask your friend to provide information about your location, your friend is not required to do so. If asked, your friend should respond, \\\"I don't believe I am required to provide that information for searching public records.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Searching Carefully on Commercial Sites for Outstanding Warrants\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Review online commercial search engines.\", \"描述\": \"If you conduct a general search on the Internet for the phrase \\\"warrant search,\\\" you will find many third party commercial websites. These sites collect information from a range of publicly available sources about any individual that you wish to search. When you obtain the list of sites, you should check them to see what they claim and how wide their searches will be.\\nFor example, the site SpyFly.com asserts that its site is \\\"Completely Confidential and Anonymous\\\" and that it searches \\\"over a billion pieces of specific information.\\\"\\nThe site PublicRecordsReviews.com claims that \\\"Warrant Lookup is available instantly. We allow you to search for free and to do unlimited searches on all records included in Warrant Lookup.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Read the disclaimer information carefully.\", \"描述\": \"Realize that the commercial search engines are in the business primarily to make money, not to provide a public service or source of information. As a result, you need to be careful about the information that you find. Do not act exclusively on information that you receive from commercial search engines.\\nFor example, the disclaimer on SpyFly.com says, \\\"Please be EXTREMELY careful when reviewing a person's criminal history. Please DO NOT use this information without further investigating the accuracy of the information.\\\"\\nThe site InstantCheckmate.com contains a disclaimer that says, \\\"The information available on our website may not be 100% accurate, complete or up to date, so do not use it as a substitute for your own due diligence.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Begin your search by entering the person's name.\", \"描述\": \"Most commercial search engines will allow you to initiate your search with just the subject's name. In some cases, if you are not certain of the correct spelling, you are able to mark a box that indicates that the name is approximate, and the computer will conduct a broader search.\\nFor example, on the site InstantCheckmate.com, you can begin your search by entering only the subject's name. If you have a single state in mind, you can also select that to narrow the results that you will get.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Provide limiting information for better results.\", \"描述\": \"If you can narrow the search, your search is likely to result in more useful information. Some commercial sites will provide the opportunity for you to provide additional information. If you have the information available, your results will likely be more useful. This additional information could include any of the following:\\ncourt name\\ncase name, if applicable\\ncase number\\nappearance of the individual\\nlast known residential address\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Conduct an advanced search, if available.\", \"描述\": \"An initial search, based only on name and state can result in as many as two or three dozen, or more, matches. On InstantCheckmate.com, for example, you will be offered the opportunity to conduct an advanced search. If you select this option, you will be prompted to provide a middle initial, current or previous city of residence, and the subject's age. Providing this added information will make your search more focused and more reliable.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Access your report.\", \"描述\": \"The initial level of searching on most commercial sites will provide you with just a list of names or places of residence that have turned up some information. You do not actually get to see the information from the public records. To see the report, you then need to choose one of the people from the list and click on \\\"Show Report.\\\" This will then take a few minutes for the search engine to compile the actual report from the public records. During the process, you will see an update of the type of records being searched.\\nFor example, during a search on InstantCheckmate.com, the report shows your progress through \\\"Popular Records,\\\" \\\"Criminal and Arrest Summary,\\\" \\\"Social Media Summary,\\\" \\\"Relative Selector,\\\" and \\\"State Records Summary.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Choose to save your results.\", \"描述\": \"After the search is complete, you will be prompted to enter your name and email address if you wish to receive an electronic copy of the search results.\\nBe aware that, on many sites, by providing your email address, you may be adding your name to an email list for that company.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Provide payment information.\", \"描述\": \"On most sites, you are required to pay to see the final report. Payment is generally completed by providing a credit card number, along with your name, expiration date and security code. Some sites accept payment through PayPal as well.You will need to select a payment option from two or three different choices:\\nSingle fee for obtaining the single current report\\nOne month subscription fee\\nThree month subscription fee\\nYou must read the disclaimer information carefully when making payment. On many sites, signing up for the subscription includes a recurring payment that will automatically deduct from your credit card each month, until you call to cancel.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Verify the results with a follow-up search.\", \"描述\": \"The results that you obtain from commercial sites are not going to be as reliable as the information you would get directly from a court or law enforcement official site. The commercial sites are readily available and are quicker to use. However, after you get information from a commercial search engine, you should then visit the official governmental site and attempt to confirm the information.\\nFor example, if an online search turns up a report of a warrant for unpaid child support in Oklahoma City, you could then call the court clerk in Oklahoma City. Ask directly, “I am calling to confirm some information. Do you have a record of an outstanding warrant for Mr. X (fill in the name)?”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"In addition to conducting the search yourself, you could hire an attorney to look into the matter for you. This will obviously cost more, but an attorney will have the best contacts with the courts and will be able to insulate you from law enforcement. If a warrant does exist for your arrest, an attorney will be able to advise you how to proceed.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,723 | The 15 Best Ways to Answer "Tell Me About Yourself" on a Dating App | 1. Talk about common interests and experiences.
Dating apps have profiles for a reason.
Scan your match’s profile and any previous messages to see if you have any interests or experiences in common you can share. Have you both traveled to South Africa? Talk about it! They’re more likely to feel a connection with you if you show them you have some things in common and have been paying attention to their profile, pictures, and chats. Go for something like:
“I’m addicted to pop music and Ariana Grande. I see you’re also a fan!”
“I spend a lot of time in nature and love exploring the great outdoors (couldn’t help but notice your national park pictures, they look amazing!)”
“I’m always reading and on the lookout for new book recommendations. Looks like you’ve got quite the book collection as well. Any suggestions for me?”
2. Highlight the most unique things about you.
Talk about what makes you the most interesting person on the planet.
Chances are you’re not the only person on the app telling your match about themselves. Niche or rare experiences make you stand out from the crowd and make for more memorable conversations. Use fun facts or quick stories to make normal activities seem interesting:
“I own every Metallica tour t-shirt” is a lot cooler than “I like concerts.”
“I love teaching my 3rd grade math class. One time we researched celebrity outfits and calculated how much their looks cost.”
“I’ve traveled to 17 countries so far, and I’ve tried bagels from each one to see who does it best.”
3. Be open about your intentions.
Make your intentions clear to avoid confusion or hurt feelings.
Tell your match what you’re looking to get out of the dating app experience. Are you looking for a long-term relationship? Do you only want casual dates right now? This is the time to make sure you’re both on the same page about what you want. Say something like:
“I’m mainly interested in casual dates and meeting people right now, but would be open to something more serious if the chemistry’s right.”
“I’m on here to find a long-term girlfriend I can settle down and build a life together with.”
“I’m looking for a fun summer fling before I move to France in the fall.”
Remember, you’re free to say as much or as little as you want. A good rule of thumb is to keep your answer around 70% about you and 30% about what you’re looking for in a partner or relationship.
4. Tell your match about major changes or milestones.
Share important facts that would affect a potential relationship with you.
If you’re only in town for a few more months because you got a new job and are moving soon, mention that. A match looking for a long-term relationship would feel blindsided later on if you hit it off and then told them you had to leave. Give them the information that you would want to know about them. Try something like:
“I’m leaving in a few weeks to go back to school in California, so we’d be doing some long distance chatting most of the year.”
“I work night shifts most of the time and my schedule is pretty opposite to most people’s.”
It’s up to you to decide what is relevant to share. Being a parent, having a job where you travel frequently, or living part-time in another country are all potential things you might want your match to know. Use your judgment to determine what they need to know about you.
5. Get specific.
Give fun details that show what you’re doing at the moment.
Tell your match about a new project at work you just started, your most recent hike if you love the outdoors, or a new recipe you tried if you’re a great baker. You can go in depth about anything. The details communicate more about you, and your match will start to get a picture of what your life actually looks like.
Instead of a boring “I like soccer,” try a more detailed sentence like “I love playing soccer with my friends and we’re planning a pickup game tomorrow.”
Go for “I’m psyched about a new project at work where I get to photograph fancy desserts for a restaurant’s Instagram account” instead of “I work in social media.”
“I just ran my fastest 10K race ever last week. Can’t wait for the next one!” sounds a lot more enthusiastic than “I’m a runner.”
6. Bring up interests that aren’t in your profile.
Your match already knows some basics about you from your profile.
You don’t need to tell them you’re a pharmacist in Louisville since they probably read that when they matched with you. Jump to the highlights that will get a reaction or build on common ground. Your answer should be about the “you” that’s not obvious from your profile. Share something like:
“When I’m not working, I’m usually out for a walk along the lake or volunteering at a youth center in my neighborhood.”
“Family’s really important to me and I try to visit my parents out in the suburbs once or twice a month.”
“I love organizing events and always get asked to plan the holiday parties at work.”
7. Share a slightly personal story.
Give the “why” or “how” behind the facts in your profile.
Include a sentence or two that explains why you chose your job, or what inspired you to pick up your latest hobby. Subtle personal details make you seem more interesting, and your match is more likely to open up in response.
For example, try saying something like, “I’ve always enjoyed helping people and that inspired me to start my career in nursing” instead of an impersonal “I’m a nurse.”
Keep your answer light and fun. A few personal details go a long way in making a connection, but too many too soon will have your match wishing they swiped left.
8. Add emojis to keep your tone playful and flirty. 😉
Emojis
Add a smiley face 😁 after things that make you happy, or a smirk 😏 if you’re telling a mischievous story or trying to see how flirty your match will get. There’s an emoji for just about any feeling or hobby imaginable to help illustrate your messages. Try using them like this:
"I’m looking someone who loves to cuddle 🤗 physical touch is totally my love language."
"I'm a big surfer and love to vacation in places where I can catch new waves 🌊🏄♂️"
Sentences made entirely of emojis are hard to understand and easy to misinterpret. Instead of 👁❤️🗼, just say "I love Paris" (or "J'adore Paris" if you're trying to score some foreign language points).
9. Keep the drama out of your answer.
Only mention details that make for upbeat conversation.
At this point in the game, your match knows very little about you and they’ll be turned off if your answer is full of personal problems and heavy emotions. Focus on the positives and not on family drama or your latest argument with a friend.
This also applies to sending nudes or sexts. Your conversation might progress to those kinds of messages later, but lewd comments or innuendos are best left unsent in the early stages.
10. Assume the other person is interested in what you’re saying.
Pretend your match finds everything you say 100% fascinating.
Go in depth, make niche references, and show you’re passionate. Give them a chance to reciprocate your energy and wit. You’ll avoid small talk and get right to rich conversations when you assume they’re just as excited to have a deep chat as you are.
If they know what you’re talking about, great! If they don’t, then you have new opportunities for conversation.
11. Try audio messages.
Some apps support audio messages for a more personal touch.
It can be hard to convey an energetic or warm tone over text. Recording your answer as a voice note is a fun and casual way to show off your personality. Plus, you don’t have to worry about fixing your hair or picking up the clothes on the floor of your bedroom since there’s no video component.
An audio message right off the bat might come on too strong, so stick to text when you first match. If you’re comfortable with your match, ask something like, “Is it ok to send you an audio message?” or “Do you want to swap voice notes instead of texting?”
12. Be enthusiastic and optimistic.
Convince your match you’re satisfied with where you are in life.
Even if you’re not in love with your job or the city you live in, find a way to put a positive spin on it. If you come off as bored or disinterested in your own life, your match will be just as disinterested in you too.
If you think your job is boring, tell them something redeeming about it like, “Office Max isn’t my dream job, but the schedule lets me pursue my real passion which is music.” Then you get to tell them about your music, too.
Use exclamation points. Really! Sentences ending with periods read as less sincere, so sprinkle in some exclamation points to show you’re enthusiastic about yourself.
13. Go with the flow.
Send a customized message to everyone you talk to.
Each match is going to make you think of different stories or fun facts to share. Lean into it and make each dialogue with a match unique for a more rewarding conversation. Repeating the same answer every time takes the fun and spontaneity out of the dating app experience.
14. Be yourself.
Dating apps aren’t about connecting with every person possible.
Be authentic and you will hit it off with the right matches. Send an honest answer based on your interests and experiences instead of on what you see in their profile. If the conversation progresses or you meet in person, they’ll probably find out you were dishonest.
You have little to lose when it comes to your first couple of messages with a new match, so reveal as much or as little as feels right and keep it real.
15. Have fun!
You’re on a dating app to enjoy yourself and meet new people.
Responding to messages shouldn’t feel like homework. If it does, put the phone down and do something else for a while. Come back when you feel refreshed and ready to engage in a conversation.
Tips
Make sure to enjoy yourself no matter what! If the person on the other end ghosts you, blocks you, or ignores you for more than a few days, you dodged a bullet and they missed out!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:00",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Talk about common interests and experiences.\\nDating apps have profiles for a reason.\\nScan your match’s profile and any previous messages to see if you have any interests or experiences in common you can share. Have you both traveled to South Africa? Talk about it! They’re more likely to feel a connection with you if you show them you have some things in common and have been paying attention to their profile, pictures, and chats. Go for something like:\\n“I’m addicted to pop music and Ariana Grande. I see you’re also a fan!”\\n“I spend a lot of time in nature and love exploring the great outdoors (couldn’t help but notice your national park pictures, they look amazing!)”\\n“I’m always reading and on the lookout for new book recommendations. Looks like you’ve got quite the book collection as well. Any suggestions for me?”\\n2. Highlight the most unique things about you.\\nTalk about what makes you the most interesting person on the planet.\\nChances are you’re not the only person on the app telling your match about themselves. Niche or rare experiences make you stand out from the crowd and make for more memorable conversations. Use fun facts or quick stories to make normal activities seem interesting:\\n“I own every Metallica tour t-shirt” is a lot cooler than “I like concerts.”\\n“I love teaching my 3rd grade math class. One time we researched celebrity outfits and calculated how much their looks cost.”\\n“I’ve traveled to 17 countries so far, and I’ve tried bagels from each one to see who does it best.”\\n3. Be open about your intentions.\\nMake your intentions clear to avoid confusion or hurt feelings.\\nTell your match what you’re looking to get out of the dating app experience. Are you looking for a long-term relationship? Do you only want casual dates right now? This is the time to make sure you’re both on the same page about what you want. Say something like:\\n“I’m mainly interested in casual dates and meeting people right now, but would be open to something more serious if the chemistry’s right.”\\n“I’m on here to find a long-term girlfriend I can settle down and build a life together with.”\\n“I’m looking for a fun summer fling before I move to France in the fall.”\\nRemember, you’re free to say as much or as little as you want. A good rule of thumb is to keep your answer around 70% about you and 30% about what you’re looking for in a partner or relationship.\\n4. Tell your match about major changes or milestones.\\nShare important facts that would affect a potential relationship with you.\\nIf you’re only in town for a few more months because you got a new job and are moving soon, mention that. A match looking for a long-term relationship would feel blindsided later on if you hit it off and then told them you had to leave. Give them the information that you would want to know about them. Try something like:\\n“I’m leaving in a few weeks to go back to school in California, so we’d be doing some long distance chatting most of the year.”\\n“I work night shifts most of the time and my schedule is pretty opposite to most people’s.”\\nIt’s up to you to decide what is relevant to share. Being a parent, having a job where you travel frequently, or living part-time in another country are all potential things you might want your match to know. Use your judgment to determine what they need to know about you.\\n5. Get specific.\\nGive fun details that show what you’re doing at the moment.\\nTell your match about a new project at work you just started, your most recent hike if you love the outdoors, or a new recipe you tried if you’re a great baker. You can go in depth about anything. The details communicate more about you, and your match will start to get a picture of what your life actually looks like.\\nInstead of a boring “I like soccer,” try a more detailed sentence like “I love playing soccer with my friends and we’re planning a pickup game tomorrow.”\\nGo for “I’m psyched about a new project at work where I get to photograph fancy desserts for a restaurant’s Instagram account” instead of “I work in social media.”\\n“I just ran my fastest 10K race ever last week. Can’t wait for the next one!” sounds a lot more enthusiastic than “I’m a runner.”\\n6. Bring up interests that aren’t in your profile.\\nYour match already knows some basics about you from your profile.\\nYou don’t need to tell them you’re a pharmacist in Louisville since they probably read that when they matched with you. Jump to the highlights that will get a reaction or build on common ground. Your answer should be about the “you” that’s not obvious from your profile. Share something like:\\n“When I’m not working, I’m usually out for a walk along the lake or volunteering at a youth center in my neighborhood.”\\n“Family’s really important to me and I try to visit my parents out in the suburbs once or twice a month.”\\n“I love organizing events and always get asked to plan the holiday parties at work.”\\n7. Share a slightly personal story.\\nGive the “why” or “how” behind the facts in your profile.\\nInclude a sentence or two that explains why you chose your job, or what inspired you to pick up your latest hobby. Subtle personal details make you seem more interesting, and your match is more likely to open up in response.\\nFor example, try saying something like, “I’ve always enjoyed helping people and that inspired me to start my career in nursing” instead of an impersonal “I’m a nurse.”\\nKeep your answer light and fun. A few personal details go a long way in making a connection, but too many too soon will have your match wishing they swiped left.\\n8. Add emojis to keep your tone playful and flirty. 😉\\nEmojis\\nAdd a smiley face 😁 after things that make you happy, or a smirk 😏 if you’re telling a mischievous story or trying to see how flirty your match will get. There’s an emoji for just about any feeling or hobby imaginable to help illustrate your messages. Try using them like this:\\n\\\"I’m looking someone who loves to cuddle 🤗 physical touch is totally my love language.\\\"\\n\\\"I'm a big surfer and love to vacation in places where I can catch new waves 🌊🏄♂️\\\"\\nSentences made entirely of emojis are hard to understand and easy to misinterpret. Instead of 👁❤️🗼, just say \\\"I love Paris\\\" (or \\\"J'adore Paris\\\" if you're trying to score some foreign language points).\\n9. Keep the drama out of your answer.\\nOnly mention details that make for upbeat conversation.\\nAt this point in the game, your match knows very little about you and they’ll be turned off if your answer is full of personal problems and heavy emotions. Focus on the positives and not on family drama or your latest argument with a friend. \\nThis also applies to sending nudes or sexts. Your conversation might progress to those kinds of messages later, but lewd comments or innuendos are best left unsent in the early stages.\\n10. Assume the other person is interested in what you’re saying.\\nPretend your match finds everything you say 100% fascinating.\\nGo in depth, make niche references, and show you’re passionate. Give them a chance to reciprocate your energy and wit. You’ll avoid small talk and get right to rich conversations when you assume they’re just as excited to have a deep chat as you are.\\nIf they know what you’re talking about, great! If they don’t, then you have new opportunities for conversation.\\n11. Try audio messages.\\nSome apps support audio messages for a more personal touch.\\nIt can be hard to convey an energetic or warm tone over text. Recording your answer as a voice note is a fun and casual way to show off your personality. Plus, you don’t have to worry about fixing your hair or picking up the clothes on the floor of your bedroom since there’s no video component.\\nAn audio message right off the bat might come on too strong, so stick to text when you first match. If you’re comfortable with your match, ask something like, “Is it ok to send you an audio message?” or “Do you want to swap voice notes instead of texting?”\\n12. Be enthusiastic and optimistic.\\nConvince your match you’re satisfied with where you are in life.\\nEven if you’re not in love with your job or the city you live in, find a way to put a positive spin on it. If you come off as bored or disinterested in your own life, your match will be just as disinterested in you too.\\nIf you think your job is boring, tell them something redeeming about it like, “Office Max isn’t my dream job, but the schedule lets me pursue my real passion which is music.” Then you get to tell them about your music, too.\\nUse exclamation points. Really! Sentences ending with periods read as less sincere, so sprinkle in some exclamation points to show you’re enthusiastic about yourself.\\n13. Go with the flow.\\nSend a customized message to everyone you talk to.\\nEach match is going to make you think of different stories or fun facts to share. Lean into it and make each dialogue with a match unique for a more rewarding conversation. Repeating the same answer every time takes the fun and spontaneity out of the dating app experience.\\n14. Be yourself.\\nDating apps aren’t about connecting with every person possible.\\nBe authentic and you will hit it off with the right matches. Send an honest answer based on your interests and experiences instead of on what you see in their profile. If the conversation progresses or you meet in person, they’ll probably find out you were dishonest.\\nYou have little to lose when it comes to your first couple of messages with a new match, so reveal as much or as little as feels right and keep it real.\\n15. Have fun!\\nYou’re on a dating app to enjoy yourself and meet new people.\\nResponding to messages shouldn’t feel like homework. If it does, put the phone down and do something else for a while. Come back when you feel refreshed and ready to engage in a conversation.\\nTips\\nMake sure to enjoy yourself no matter what! If the person on the other end ghosts you, blocks you, or ignores you for more than a few days, you dodged a bullet and they missed out!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"“Tell me about yourself” is a question that makes most of us freeze like a deer in headlights, and it can be even harder to answer through text on a dating app. Luckily, it’s not so challenging to put together an interesting answer brimming with personality that will fascinate your lucky matches and ramp up the conversation. We’ve compiled all the information you should include to showcase yourself in your answer, plus the best ways to communicate it through a dating app.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk about common interests and experiences.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dating apps have profiles for a reason.\", \"描述\": \"Scan your match’s profile and any previous messages to see if you have any interests or experiences in common you can share. Have you both traveled to South Africa? Talk about it! They’re more likely to feel a connection with you if you show them you have some things in common and have been paying attention to their profile, pictures, and chats. Go for something like:\\n“I’m addicted to pop music and Ariana Grande. I see you’re also a fan!”\\n“I spend a lot of time in nature and love exploring the great outdoors (couldn’t help but notice your national park pictures, they look amazing!)”\\n“I’m always reading and on the lookout for new book recommendations. Looks like you’ve got quite the book collection as well. Any suggestions for me?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Highlight the most unique things about you.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk about what makes you the most interesting person on the planet.\", \"描述\": \"Chances are you’re not the only person on the app telling your match about themselves. Niche or rare experiences make you stand out from the crowd and make for more memorable conversations. Use fun facts or quick stories to make normal activities seem interesting:\\n“I own every Metallica tour t-shirt” is a lot cooler than “I like concerts.”\\n“I love teaching my 3rd grade math class. One time we researched celebrity outfits and calculated how much their looks cost.”\\n“I’ve traveled to 17 countries so far, and I’ve tried bagels from each one to see who does it best.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be open about your intentions.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make your intentions clear to avoid confusion or hurt feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Tell your match what you’re looking to get out of the dating app experience. Are you looking for a long-term relationship? Do you only want casual dates right now? This is the time to make sure you’re both on the same page about what you want. Say something like:\\n“I’m mainly interested in casual dates and meeting people right now, but would be open to something more serious if the chemistry’s right.”\\n“I’m on here to find a long-term girlfriend I can settle down and build a life together with.”\\n“I’m looking for a fun summer fling before I move to France in the fall.”\\nRemember, you’re free to say as much or as little as you want. A good rule of thumb is to keep your answer around 70% about you and 30% about what you’re looking for in a partner or relationship.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tell your match about major changes or milestones.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Share important facts that would affect a potential relationship with you.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re only in town for a few more months because you got a new job and are moving soon, mention that. A match looking for a long-term relationship would feel blindsided later on if you hit it off and then told them you had to leave. Give them the information that you would want to know about them. Try something like:\\n“I’m leaving in a few weeks to go back to school in California, so we’d be doing some long distance chatting most of the year.”\\n“I work night shifts most of the time and my schedule is pretty opposite to most people’s.”\\nIt’s up to you to decide what is relevant to share. Being a parent, having a job where you travel frequently, or living part-time in another country are all potential things you might want your match to know. Use your judgment to determine what they need to know about you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get specific.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give fun details that show what you’re doing at the moment.\", \"描述\": \"Tell your match about a new project at work you just started, your most recent hike if you love the outdoors, or a new recipe you tried if you’re a great baker. You can go in depth about anything. The details communicate more about you, and your match will start to get a picture of what your life actually looks like.\\nInstead of a boring “I like soccer,” try a more detailed sentence like “I love playing soccer with my friends and we’re planning a pickup game tomorrow.”\\nGo for “I’m psyched about a new project at work where I get to photograph fancy desserts for a restaurant’s Instagram account” instead of “I work in social media.”\\n“I just ran my fastest 10K race ever last week. Can’t wait for the next one!” sounds a lot more enthusiastic than “I’m a runner.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Bring up interests that aren’t in your profile.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Your match already knows some basics about you from your profile.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t need to tell them you’re a pharmacist in Louisville since they probably read that when they matched with you. Jump to the highlights that will get a reaction or build on common ground. Your answer should be about the “you” that’s not obvious from your profile. Share something like:\\n“When I’m not working, I’m usually out for a walk along the lake or volunteering at a youth center in my neighborhood.”\\n“Family’s really important to me and I try to visit my parents out in the suburbs once or twice a month.”\\n“I love organizing events and always get asked to plan the holiday parties at work.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Share a slightly personal story.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give the “why” or “how” behind the facts in your profile.\", \"描述\": \"Include a sentence or two that explains why you chose your job, or what inspired you to pick up your latest hobby. Subtle personal details make you seem more interesting, and your match is more likely to open up in response.\\nFor example, try saying something like, “I’ve always enjoyed helping people and that inspired me to start my career in nursing” instead of an impersonal “I’m a nurse.”\\nKeep your answer light and fun. A few personal details go a long way in making a connection, but too many too soon will have your match wishing they swiped left.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Add emojis to keep your tone playful and flirty. 😉\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Emojis\", \"描述\": \"Add a smiley face 😁 after things that make you happy, or a smirk 😏 if you’re telling a mischievous story or trying to see how flirty your match will get. There’s an emoji for just about any feeling or hobby imaginable to help illustrate your messages. Try using them like this:\\n\\\"I’m looking someone who loves to cuddle 🤗 physical touch is totally my love language.\\\"\\n\\\"I'm a big surfer and love to vacation in places where I can catch new waves 🌊🏄♂️\\\"\\nSentences made entirely of emojis are hard to understand and easy to misinterpret. Instead of 👁❤️🗼, just say \\\"I love Paris\\\" (or \\\"J'adore Paris\\\" if you're trying to score some foreign language points).\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Keep the drama out of your answer.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Only mention details that make for upbeat conversation.\", \"描述\": \"At this point in the game, your match knows very little about you and they’ll be turned off if your answer is full of personal problems and heavy emotions. Focus on the positives and not on family drama or your latest argument with a friend. \\nThis also applies to sending nudes or sexts. Your conversation might progress to those kinds of messages later, but lewd comments or innuendos are best left unsent in the early stages.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Assume the other person is interested in what you’re saying.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pretend your match finds everything you say 100% fascinating.\", \"描述\": \"Go in depth, make niche references, and show you’re passionate. Give them a chance to reciprocate your energy and wit. You’ll avoid small talk and get right to rich conversations when you assume they’re just as excited to have a deep chat as you are.\\nIf they know what you’re talking about, great! If they don’t, then you have new opportunities for conversation.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Try audio messages.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Some apps support audio messages for a more personal touch.\", \"描述\": \"It can be hard to convey an energetic or warm tone over text. Recording your answer as a voice note is a fun and casual way to show off your personality. Plus, you don’t have to worry about fixing your hair or picking up the clothes on the floor of your bedroom since there’s no video component.\\nAn audio message right off the bat might come on too strong, so stick to text when you first match. If you’re comfortable with your match, ask something like, “Is it ok to send you an audio message?” or “Do you want to swap voice notes instead of texting?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Be enthusiastic and optimistic.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Convince your match you’re satisfied with where you are in life.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you’re not in love with your job or the city you live in, find a way to put a positive spin on it. If you come off as bored or disinterested in your own life, your match will be just as disinterested in you too.\\nIf you think your job is boring, tell them something redeeming about it like, “Office Max isn’t my dream job, but the schedule lets me pursue my real passion which is music.” Then you get to tell them about your music, too.\\nUse exclamation points. Really! Sentences ending with periods read as less sincere, so sprinkle in some exclamation points to show you’re enthusiastic about yourself.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Go with the flow.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Send a customized message to everyone you talk to.\", \"描述\": \"Each match is going to make you think of different stories or fun facts to share. Lean into it and make each dialogue with a match unique for a more rewarding conversation. Repeating the same answer every time takes the fun and spontaneity out of the dating app experience.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Be yourself.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dating apps aren’t about connecting with every person possible.\", \"描述\": \"Be authentic and you will hit it off with the right matches. Send an honest answer based on your interests and experiences instead of on what you see in their profile. If the conversation progresses or you meet in person, they’ll probably find out you were dishonest.\\nYou have little to lose when it comes to your first couple of messages with a new match, so reveal as much or as little as feels right and keep it real.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 15, \"标题\": \"Have fun!\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You’re on a dating app to enjoy yourself and meet new people.\", \"描述\": \"Responding to messages shouldn’t feel like homework. If it does, put the phone down and do something else for a while. Come back when you feel refreshed and ready to engage in a conversation.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Make sure to enjoy yourself no matter what! If the person on the other end ghosts you, blocks you, or ignores you for more than a few days, you dodged a bullet and they missed out!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,724 | How to Answer "Tell Me Something About Yourself" in a Job Interview | 1. Saying the Right Thing
1-1. Don’t be afraid to ask for clarification.
If you’re really not sure where you’re going with your answer, ask the interviewer to clarify what they’re looking for. You might find that they specifically want to hear about your personality, or they may want to know the ins and outs of your last job.
Be careful when asking for clarification. Don’t say the question didn’t make sense or that it’s too vague. Instead offer specific things that may help guide your answer: “I’d love to do that, did you want to know more about my professional experience or my personal interests?”
1-2. Start with your interests outside of work.
This gives a more casual start to your answer, and makes you seem like a more well-rounded person. Try and stick with hobbies and interests that you can link to the job opening, but always be authentic. Don’t pretend to be interested in softball just because the interviewer has a little league trophy on their desk.
For example, if you’re applying for a job in the finance sector, it’s a good idea to talk about your personal investments.
1-3. Use volunteer work to your advantage.
This is especially important if you have a particular cause you care deeply about; it adds another level to your character. Focus on specific tasks you had as a volunteer and mention your best accomplishments.
This is crucial if you don’t have a lot of work experience. Volunteer experience can help you put emphasis on qualities you want prospective employers to know about.
Whether you worked in a soup kitchen or organized an entire fundraising event, most volunteer experiences can be a great opportunity to outline your strengths.
1-4. Go into your previous work experience.
More than anything, the way you frame your professional history will show how fit you are for the job. This is your chance to reference skills that are relevant to the job opening and show how you handled difficult workplace conflicts. Always make sure to spin these situations positively.
Don’t make the mistake of saying you didn’t learn anything from a previous job. You should be able to draw a lesson from any work experience.
A great way to spin workplace conflicts positively is to focus on the concrete actions you took to resolve it. Did you go to your boss, respecting the chain of command? Or maybe you proposed the perfect compromise?
1-5. Keep things light with appropriate humor.
Answering the interviewer’s question with rapid fire facts is sure to bore them and make you seem uninteresting. Use lighthearted humor that’s relevant to the conversation; don’t go into a monologue about your dog. The key is to use humor to offset situations where you’re doubtful or uncomfortable.
For example, if an interviewer asks if you’d have a problem with working weekends, you can answer something along the lines of: “I can’t miss Sunday night football!”. Then mention that you’re kidding, and outline examples where you sacrificed weekends for work.
1-6. Respond quickly and confidently.
The whole reason you want to prepare your answer is to avoid hesitating when the question comes. You want to show whoever’s asking that you’re confident and self-aware enough to answer their question quickly and efficiently. Confidence in job interviews is something that comes with time. Until then, “fake it till you make it.” Think of yourself as a confident person and you will become confident.
Keep your answer to 60 seconds tops. Otherwise you risk rambling and making the resulting answer unclear.
2. Brainstorming the Answer
2-1. Brainstorm your skills and abilities.
Write down a list of good qualities about yourself that show you’re just right for the job. Anything that comes to mind should be jotted down until you run out of ideas. Skills and abilities generally fall into three main qualities:
Knowledge-Based Skills. These are skills that you learn as you mature and include languages, computer skills, mathematical reasoning, and technical know-how.
Transferable Skills. These are skills that you take from job to job. They include people management skills, communication, and problem solving.
Personal Traits. Your unique, innate qualities including your sociability, confidence, excitability, and punctuality.
2-2. Jot down your interests and characteristics.
Your answer shouldn’t just be about your skills and qualifications. While the interviewer is trying to get a sense of what you’ll be like at work, you need to give them a sense that you’re a complete person. Come up with a list of things you are passionate about and keywords that you think describe you best.
If you’re having difficulty coming up with these things, ask yourself what inspires you, what you’re passionate about, and what defines you.
2-3. Pick out the qualities you think might fit best with the employer.
After you’ve chosen things that are relevant to the job posting, you need to compare what you’ve come up with to the company you’re applying to and see what sticks.
Research the company’s values. Each company has a culture, and you can pick up on this in their job posting as well as their website. Companies that value efficiency above all will prioritize performance while a non-profit may pay more attention to passion and drive.
Look at the job specifications. For example, if you're applying for a marketing position, you probably should be outgoing, excellent at communication, relationship-driven, and fast-paced. Make sure you have at least one of these characteristics in mind for the interview.
2-4. Start developing your personal elevator pitch.
An elevator pitch is a short (30 seconds to 1 minute) summary of who you are and what you do. It should include what you stand for, who you are, and how your ambitions stand in line with those aspects of your personality. It's what you can meaningfully tell someone about yourself on an elevator ride from the ground to the top floor.
The best elevator pitches focus on just a few key aspects. Think of one characteristic that defines who you are, one that characterizes what you do, and one that illustrates your goals.
An elevator pitch will be useful outside of job interviews as well, so spend some time working on it.
2-5. Practice with a friend.
One of the best ways to be prepared for this question at an interview is to practice your answer. Have your friend pretend they’re the interviewer. When they ask, “OK, well how about you tell me something about yourself?” give them your answer.
Once you’ve answered, ask for honest feedback. Try and get your friend to give you their overall impression of the answer, as well as telling you any specifics that should be added or left out.
You can also practice answering follow-up questions by having your friend ask you questions about your answer.
3. Nailing Your Answer
3-1. Gauge the feel of the interview.
The interviewer will most likely ask the question early on in the interview, so you might not have much to work with. Some interview settings will call for a polished sales pitch while others will require a more casual touch.
Here’s an example of a polished sales pitch: "I'm a consultant working in telecommunications. For the past three years, I've been helping clients organize their workforce and restructure their pricing packages in order to boost profit. I love consulting, but my real passion is music, and I want to use my talents within that industry. That's why I'm applying to your organization."
3-2. Don't lie.
Whether it’s in your elevator pitch, your strengths or your weaknesses, don’t lie. If the interviewer catches your lie, you won’t be getting the job. If they don’t, you’ll have to try and keep up the lie while you work. Eventually you’ll be found out, and you may end up losing the job anyway.
3-3. Be yourself and be heartfelt.
Whatever you say, do so with feeling and with authenticity. Your interviewer will be more sympathetic to what you say if the way you say it rings true to them.
3-4. Avoid buzzwords or jargon.
Buzzwords or jargon are catchwords that are trendy to say but that don't really mean anything. They’re often bland, and not usually relevant to a particular industry. Stick to terms and expressions that are specific to your industry. It’ll show off your knowledge more than trying to add buzzwords to your vocabulary.
3-5. Keep your cool.
The goal of answering this question isn't just to get information about who you are. It's about how confident you are, how well you speak, whether you’re calm and deliberate, and whether you can establish a rapport with the interviewer.
If you do happen to mumble an answer or say something you didn’t mean to, laugh it off. Chuckle and say something like "Boy did I get tongue-tied for a minute there." Then move on, showing that you are confident in yourself and that one little slip up isn’t the end of the world to you.
3-6. Maintain eye contact and smile.
A lot of the time, hiring managers hire people that they like over people better qualified for the job. Your job here is to be likable. This means smiling and being confident enough to hold eye contact with your interviewer.
Smile. Smiling will help you feel calmer. Smiling will also help you put the interviewer at ease and perhaps even make them happier. It’ll make you come across as a warmer, happier person, helping to set a more relaxed atmosphere.
3-7. Be ready to answer follow-up questions.
If your interviewer wants to clarify something, or maybe even test you about an item in your elevator pitch, be prepared. You should know your elevator pitch inside and out and always be ready to defend it under scrutiny.
Tips
An interview is all about being able to blow your own trumpet, so if you think you're the best at something then mention it; just take a small slice of humble pie along with it so that you don't sound too far up your own arse/ass!
Warnings
Lying is not going to help. Try to avoid it at all costs.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:00",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Saying the Right Thing\\n1-1. Don’t be afraid to ask for clarification.\\nIf you’re really not sure where you’re going with your answer, ask the interviewer to clarify what they’re looking for. You might find that they specifically want to hear about your personality, or they may want to know the ins and outs of your last job.\\nBe careful when asking for clarification. Don’t say the question didn’t make sense or that it’s too vague. Instead offer specific things that may help guide your answer: “I’d love to do that, did you want to know more about my professional experience or my personal interests?”\\n1-2. Start with your interests outside of work.\\nThis gives a more casual start to your answer, and makes you seem like a more well-rounded person. Try and stick with hobbies and interests that you can link to the job opening, but always be authentic. Don’t pretend to be interested in softball just because the interviewer has a little league trophy on their desk.\\nFor example, if you’re applying for a job in the finance sector, it’s a good idea to talk about your personal investments.\\n1-3. Use volunteer work to your advantage.\\nThis is especially important if you have a particular cause you care deeply about; it adds another level to your character. Focus on specific tasks you had as a volunteer and mention your best accomplishments.\\nThis is crucial if you don’t have a lot of work experience. Volunteer experience can help you put emphasis on qualities you want prospective employers to know about.\\nWhether you worked in a soup kitchen or organized an entire fundraising event, most volunteer experiences can be a great opportunity to outline your strengths.\\n1-4. Go into your previous work experience.\\nMore than anything, the way you frame your professional history will show how fit you are for the job. This is your chance to reference skills that are relevant to the job opening and show how you handled difficult workplace conflicts. Always make sure to spin these situations positively.\\nDon’t make the mistake of saying you didn’t learn anything from a previous job. You should be able to draw a lesson from any work experience.\\nA great way to spin workplace conflicts positively is to focus on the concrete actions you took to resolve it. Did you go to your boss, respecting the chain of command? Or maybe you proposed the perfect compromise?\\n1-5. Keep things light with appropriate humor.\\nAnswering the interviewer’s question with rapid fire facts is sure to bore them and make you seem uninteresting. Use lighthearted humor that’s relevant to the conversation; don’t go into a monologue about your dog. The key is to use humor to offset situations where you’re doubtful or uncomfortable.\\nFor example, if an interviewer asks if you’d have a problem with working weekends, you can answer something along the lines of: “I can’t miss Sunday night football!”. Then mention that you’re kidding, and outline examples where you sacrificed weekends for work.\\n1-6. Respond quickly and confidently.\\nThe whole reason you want to prepare your answer is to avoid hesitating when the question comes. You want to show whoever’s asking that you’re confident and self-aware enough to answer their question quickly and efficiently. Confidence in job interviews is something that comes with time. Until then, “fake it till you make it.” Think of yourself as a confident person and you will become confident.\\nKeep your answer to 60 seconds tops. Otherwise you risk rambling and making the resulting answer unclear.\\n2. Brainstorming the Answer\\n2-1. Brainstorm your skills and abilities.\\nWrite down a list of good qualities about yourself that show you’re just right for the job. Anything that comes to mind should be jotted down until you run out of ideas. Skills and abilities generally fall into three main qualities:\\nKnowledge-Based Skills. These are skills that you learn as you mature and include languages, computer skills, mathematical reasoning, and technical know-how.\\nTransferable Skills. These are skills that you take from job to job. They include people management skills, communication, and problem solving.\\nPersonal Traits. Your unique, innate qualities including your sociability, confidence, excitability, and punctuality.\\n2-2. Jot down your interests and characteristics.\\nYour answer shouldn’t just be about your skills and qualifications. While the interviewer is trying to get a sense of what you’ll be like at work, you need to give them a sense that you’re a complete person. Come up with a list of things you are passionate about and keywords that you think describe you best.\\nIf you’re having difficulty coming up with these things, ask yourself what inspires you, what you’re passionate about, and what defines you.\\n2-3. Pick out the qualities you think might fit best with the employer.\\nAfter you’ve chosen things that are relevant to the job posting, you need to compare what you’ve come up with to the company you’re applying to and see what sticks.\\nResearch the company’s values. Each company has a culture, and you can pick up on this in their job posting as well as their website. Companies that value efficiency above all will prioritize performance while a non-profit may pay more attention to passion and drive.\\nLook at the job specifications. For example, if you're applying for a marketing position, you probably should be outgoing, excellent at communication, relationship-driven, and fast-paced. Make sure you have at least one of these characteristics in mind for the interview.\\n2-4. Start developing your personal elevator pitch.\\nAn elevator pitch is a short (30 seconds to 1 minute) summary of who you are and what you do. It should include what you stand for, who you are, and how your ambitions stand in line with those aspects of your personality. It's what you can meaningfully tell someone about yourself on an elevator ride from the ground to the top floor.\\nThe best elevator pitches focus on just a few key aspects. Think of one characteristic that defines who you are, one that characterizes what you do, and one that illustrates your goals.\\nAn elevator pitch will be useful outside of job interviews as well, so spend some time working on it.\\n2-5. Practice with a friend.\\nOne of the best ways to be prepared for this question at an interview is to practice your answer. Have your friend pretend they’re the interviewer. When they ask, “OK, well how about you tell me something about yourself?” give them your answer.\\nOnce you’ve answered, ask for honest feedback. Try and get your friend to give you their overall impression of the answer, as well as telling you any specifics that should be added or left out.\\nYou can also practice answering follow-up questions by having your friend ask you questions about your answer.\\n3. Nailing Your Answer\\n3-1. Gauge the feel of the interview.\\nThe interviewer will most likely ask the question early on in the interview, so you might not have much to work with. Some interview settings will call for a polished sales pitch while others will require a more casual touch.\\nHere’s an example of a polished sales pitch: \\\"I'm a consultant working in telecommunications. For the past three years, I've been helping clients organize their workforce and restructure their pricing packages in order to boost profit. I love consulting, but my real passion is music, and I want to use my talents within that industry. That's why I'm applying to your organization.\\\"\\n3-2. Don't lie.\\nWhether it’s in your elevator pitch, your strengths or your weaknesses, don’t lie. If the interviewer catches your lie, you won’t be getting the job. If they don’t, you’ll have to try and keep up the lie while you work. Eventually you’ll be found out, and you may end up losing the job anyway.\\n3-3. Be yourself and be heartfelt.\\nWhatever you say, do so with feeling and with authenticity. Your interviewer will be more sympathetic to what you say if the way you say it rings true to them.\\n3-4. Avoid buzzwords or jargon.\\nBuzzwords or jargon are catchwords that are trendy to say but that don't really mean anything. They’re often bland, and not usually relevant to a particular industry. Stick to terms and expressions that are specific to your industry. It’ll show off your knowledge more than trying to add buzzwords to your vocabulary.\\n3-5. Keep your cool.\\nThe goal of answering this question isn't just to get information about who you are. It's about how confident you are, how well you speak, whether you’re calm and deliberate, and whether you can establish a rapport with the interviewer.\\nIf you do happen to mumble an answer or say something you didn’t mean to, laugh it off. Chuckle and say something like \\\"Boy did I get tongue-tied for a minute there.\\\" Then move on, showing that you are confident in yourself and that one little slip up isn’t the end of the world to you.\\n3-6. Maintain eye contact and smile.\\nA lot of the time, hiring managers hire people that they like over people better qualified for the job. Your job here is to be likable. This means smiling and being confident enough to hold eye contact with your interviewer.\\nSmile. Smiling will help you feel calmer. Smiling will also help you put the interviewer at ease and perhaps even make them happier. It’ll make you come across as a warmer, happier person, helping to set a more relaxed atmosphere.\\n3-7. Be ready to answer follow-up questions.\\nIf your interviewer wants to clarify something, or maybe even test you about an item in your elevator pitch, be prepared. You should know your elevator pitch inside and out and always be ready to defend it under scrutiny.\\nTips\\nAn interview is all about being able to blow your own trumpet, so if you think you're the best at something then mention it; just take a small slice of humble pie along with it so that you don't sound too far up your own arse/ass!\\nWarnings\\nLying is not going to help. Try to avoid it at all costs.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Job interviews are often full of vague, sometimes frustrating questions. One you’ve likely heard multiple times is the dreaded “Tell me something about yourself” question. It’s vague enough to get you lost in thought, but the way you answer can seal the deal or break it. But as long as you take your time to prepare your answer beforehand, you’ll know what to say and be on your way to nailing your interview!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Saying the Right Thing\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t be afraid to ask for clarification.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re really not sure where you’re going with your answer, ask the interviewer to clarify what they’re looking for. You might find that they specifically want to hear about your personality, or they may want to know the ins and outs of your last job.\\nBe careful when asking for clarification. Don’t say the question didn’t make sense or that it’s too vague. Instead offer specific things that may help guide your answer: “I’d love to do that, did you want to know more about my professional experience or my personal interests?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Start with your interests outside of work.\", \"描述\": \"This gives a more casual start to your answer, and makes you seem like a more well-rounded person. Try and stick with hobbies and interests that you can link to the job opening, but always be authentic. Don’t pretend to be interested in softball just because the interviewer has a little league trophy on their desk.\\nFor example, if you’re applying for a job in the finance sector, it’s a good idea to talk about your personal investments.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use volunteer work to your advantage.\", \"描述\": \"This is especially important if you have a particular cause you care deeply about; it adds another level to your character. Focus on specific tasks you had as a volunteer and mention your best accomplishments.\\nThis is crucial if you don’t have a lot of work experience. Volunteer experience can help you put emphasis on qualities you want prospective employers to know about.\\nWhether you worked in a soup kitchen or organized an entire fundraising event, most volunteer experiences can be a great opportunity to outline your strengths.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Go into your previous work experience.\", \"描述\": \"More than anything, the way you frame your professional history will show how fit you are for the job. This is your chance to reference skills that are relevant to the job opening and show how you handled difficult workplace conflicts. Always make sure to spin these situations positively.\\nDon’t make the mistake of saying you didn’t learn anything from a previous job. You should be able to draw a lesson from any work experience.\\nA great way to spin workplace conflicts positively is to focus on the concrete actions you took to resolve it. Did you go to your boss, respecting the chain of command? Or maybe you proposed the perfect compromise?\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep things light with appropriate humor.\", \"描述\": \"Answering the interviewer’s question with rapid fire facts is sure to bore them and make you seem uninteresting. Use lighthearted humor that’s relevant to the conversation; don’t go into a monologue about your dog. The key is to use humor to offset situations where you’re doubtful or uncomfortable.\\nFor example, if an interviewer asks if you’d have a problem with working weekends, you can answer something along the lines of: “I can’t miss Sunday night football!”. Then mention that you’re kidding, and outline examples where you sacrificed weekends for work.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Respond quickly and confidently.\", \"描述\": \"The whole reason you want to prepare your answer is to avoid hesitating when the question comes. You want to show whoever’s asking that you’re confident and self-aware enough to answer their question quickly and efficiently. Confidence in job interviews is something that comes with time. Until then, “fake it till you make it.” Think of yourself as a confident person and you will become confident.\\nKeep your answer to 60 seconds tops. Otherwise you risk rambling and making the resulting answer unclear.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Brainstorming the Answer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Brainstorm your skills and abilities.\", \"描述\": \"Write down a list of good qualities about yourself that show you’re just right for the job. Anything that comes to mind should be jotted down until you run out of ideas. Skills and abilities generally fall into three main qualities:\\nKnowledge-Based Skills. These are skills that you learn as you mature and include languages, computer skills, mathematical reasoning, and technical know-how.\\nTransferable Skills. These are skills that you take from job to job. They include people management skills, communication, and problem solving.\\nPersonal Traits. Your unique, innate qualities including your sociability, confidence, excitability, and punctuality.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Jot down your interests and characteristics.\", \"描述\": \"Your answer shouldn’t just be about your skills and qualifications. While the interviewer is trying to get a sense of what you’ll be like at work, you need to give them a sense that you’re a complete person. Come up with a list of things you are passionate about and keywords that you think describe you best.\\nIf you’re having difficulty coming up with these things, ask yourself what inspires you, what you’re passionate about, and what defines you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pick out the qualities you think might fit best with the employer.\", \"描述\": \"After you’ve chosen things that are relevant to the job posting, you need to compare what you’ve come up with to the company you’re applying to and see what sticks.\\nResearch the company’s values. Each company has a culture, and you can pick up on this in their job posting as well as their website. Companies that value efficiency above all will prioritize performance while a non-profit may pay more attention to passion and drive.\\nLook at the job specifications. For example, if you're applying for a marketing position, you probably should be outgoing, excellent at communication, relationship-driven, and fast-paced. Make sure you have at least one of these characteristics in mind for the interview.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Start developing your personal elevator pitch.\", \"描述\": \"An elevator pitch is a short (30 seconds to 1 minute) summary of who you are and what you do. It should include what you stand for, who you are, and how your ambitions stand in line with those aspects of your personality. It's what you can meaningfully tell someone about yourself on an elevator ride from the ground to the top floor.\\nThe best elevator pitches focus on just a few key aspects. Think of one characteristic that defines who you are, one that characterizes what you do, and one that illustrates your goals.\\nAn elevator pitch will be useful outside of job interviews as well, so spend some time working on it.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Practice with a friend.\", \"描述\": \"One of the best ways to be prepared for this question at an interview is to practice your answer. Have your friend pretend they’re the interviewer. When they ask, “OK, well how about you tell me something about yourself?” give them your answer.\\nOnce you’ve answered, ask for honest feedback. Try and get your friend to give you their overall impression of the answer, as well as telling you any specifics that should be added or left out.\\nYou can also practice answering follow-up questions by having your friend ask you questions about your answer.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Nailing Your Answer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Gauge the feel of the interview.\", \"描述\": \"The interviewer will most likely ask the question early on in the interview, so you might not have much to work with. Some interview settings will call for a polished sales pitch while others will require a more casual touch.\\nHere’s an example of a polished sales pitch: \\\"I'm a consultant working in telecommunications. For the past three years, I've been helping clients organize their workforce and restructure their pricing packages in order to boost profit. I love consulting, but my real passion is music, and I want to use my talents within that industry. That's why I'm applying to your organization.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don't lie.\", \"描述\": \"Whether it’s in your elevator pitch, your strengths or your weaknesses, don’t lie. If the interviewer catches your lie, you won’t be getting the job. If they don’t, you’ll have to try and keep up the lie while you work. Eventually you’ll be found out, and you may end up losing the job anyway.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be yourself and be heartfelt.\", \"描述\": \"Whatever you say, do so with feeling and with authenticity. Your interviewer will be more sympathetic to what you say if the way you say it rings true to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid buzzwords or jargon.\", \"描述\": \"Buzzwords or jargon are catchwords that are trendy to say but that don't really mean anything. They’re often bland, and not usually relevant to a particular industry. Stick to terms and expressions that are specific to your industry. It’ll show off your knowledge more than trying to add buzzwords to your vocabulary.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep your cool.\", \"描述\": \"The goal of answering this question isn't just to get information about who you are. It's about how confident you are, how well you speak, whether you’re calm and deliberate, and whether you can establish a rapport with the interviewer.\\nIf you do happen to mumble an answer or say something you didn’t mean to, laugh it off. Chuckle and say something like \\\"Boy did I get tongue-tied for a minute there.\\\" Then move on, showing that you are confident in yourself and that one little slip up isn’t the end of the world to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Maintain eye contact and smile.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of the time, hiring managers hire people that they like over people better qualified for the job. Your job here is to be likable. This means smiling and being confident enough to hold eye contact with your interviewer.\\nSmile. Smiling will help you feel calmer. Smiling will also help you put the interviewer at ease and perhaps even make them happier. It’ll make you come across as a warmer, happier person, helping to set a more relaxed atmosphere.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be ready to answer follow-up questions.\", \"描述\": \"If your interviewer wants to clarify something, or maybe even test you about an item in your elevator pitch, be prepared. You should know your elevator pitch inside and out and always be ready to defend it under scrutiny.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"An interview is all about being able to blow your own trumpet, so if you think you're the best at something then mention it; just take a small slice of humble pie along with it so that you don't sound too far up your own arse/ass!\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Lying is not going to help. Try to avoid it at all costs.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,725 | How to Answer "What Do You Like About Me" | 1. Reacting to the Question
1-1. Breathe.
When someone asks you this question, it might catch you off-guard or make you feel nervous because they are putting you on the spot. Feeling nervous can make you blurt out things without really thinking about them first. Sometimes nervousness can even make your mind go totally blank, and suddenly you can’t think of anything to say at all! Take a deep breath before you answer.
1-2. Start with something basic.
Is this person your friend? A significant other? A family member? Whatever their role is, give them praise for that role. If you feel caught off-guard by the question, starting with something basic can also buy you some time to think about a more specific answer.
For example, you could tell a friend, “You’re a really amazing friend to me.”
You could say to a significant other, “You’re a really thoughtful boyfriend."
1-3. Go into more detail.
Now that you’ve gotten started, elaborate by pointing out specific qualities. To a friend, you could say something like, “I like the fact that you’re always there for me. You make me feel so supported.” To a significant other, you could say, “You are a caring person. You always put a lot of thought into our relationship.” Here are some other details you can add:
"You're the first girlfriend to treat me like I'm truly special."
"I look forward to our hangouts all week long. I have so much fun with you."
1-4. Back your statement up with an example.
Try to think of a specific example that you can use to support your comments. You could tell a friend, “You were really there for me when my dog Lucy died. I was so upset and you took the time to comfort me.” You could say to a significant other, “You really showed your thoughtfulness when you planned a picnic for us on our two month anniversary.” Here are some other things you can say:
“You’re so funny! I still laugh about the practical joke we played on your brother last summer.”
“You called to check on me when I was really sick. No one else did that.”
“You’re so smart. I aced the last algebra exam because you helped me study.”
2. Focusing on the Positive
2-1. Use positive and specific words.
Instead of saying something vague like, “You’re good at school,” try something like, “You’re so talented in art class. Your last project was great. I wish I could draw that well!” Instead of a neutral answer like, “You’re always nice to everyone,” you can say, “You really go out of your way to be kind and compassionate to other people." Use words that are specific and stand out as positive, like “talented” and “compassionate.” Try things like:
“You’re fearless! I love how brave you are.”
"You're so knowledgeable and passionate about music! Every time we hang out, you share new bands with me."
2-2. Tell them about their best personality trait.
When you think about this person and their personality, what’s the first good thought or word that comes to mind? Are they funny? Smart? Determined? Talented? Happy? Attractive? Energetic? Whatever it is, tell them about it! Say things like:
“I like how funny you are. You always make me laugh when we hang out!”
“I like that you’re a happy and positive person. You create a good vibe around yourself and I like being around you.”
2-3. Focus
It might seem like the right move to mention their looks, but try to place a lot more importance on their personality when you answer this question. It’s okay to tell someone they are pretty or handsome – you don’t have to avoid saying it! But if looks are the only thing you mention to them, the person might walk away feeling that their outward appearance is the only likable thing about them. Say things like:
“You’re a great listener.”
“You inspire me.”
"You have a good heart.”
3. Being Thoughtful
3-1. Take a moment to think about why you’re being asked this.
If your best friend was just broken up with, they are likely feeling sad and experiencing low self-esteem. Your significant other might be feeling insecure about your relationship. If you’ve recently had an argument with a friend, they may be worried that you are angry and truly don’t like them anymore. If you know why they are asking, give the person an encouraging answer that will lift them up. Say things like:
"I've never felt this strongly about a boyfriend. You mean the world to me."
"No matter what happens, I will always be your friend."
3-2. Take their question seriously.
Their sudden question may some weird or silly to you, but they probably really want to know why you like them. Stop what you’re doing and focus on the person so that you can give them a good answer. Smile and look them in the eyes when you reply. Really think about your words instead of giving a half-hearted or brief answer.
If the person has asked you this question many times before and seems to have no real reason for doing it, it’s possible that they are just fishing for compliments. This is especially true if they are never satisfied with the answer you give them.
In this case, you can say something like, "I have already answered this question several times. Is something else going on?"
3-3. Be sincere
If the person feels comfortable enough to ask you what you like about them, chances are you already know them pretty well. Because of this, you don’t have to force a fake answer. You really do like the person. Tell them how you really feel.
You can say to a friend, "Sarah, you've been my best friend since we were five years old. We've been through so much together. I can't imagine my life without you in it." You can then go on to list specifics.
It’s unlikely, but if you are asked this question by someone that you don’t like or don't know well, try to be nice to them about it. Answer as sincerely as you can. You could say, "I don't know you that well, but you seem like a really nice person."
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:00",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Reacting to the Question\\n1-1. Breathe.\\nWhen someone asks you this question, it might catch you off-guard or make you feel nervous because they are putting you on the spot. Feeling nervous can make you blurt out things without really thinking about them first. Sometimes nervousness can even make your mind go totally blank, and suddenly you can’t think of anything to say at all! Take a deep breath before you answer.\\n1-2. Start with something basic.\\nIs this person your friend? A significant other? A family member? Whatever their role is, give them praise for that role. If you feel caught off-guard by the question, starting with something basic can also buy you some time to think about a more specific answer.\\nFor example, you could tell a friend, “You’re a really amazing friend to me.”\\nYou could say to a significant other, “You’re a really thoughtful boyfriend.\\\"\\n1-3. Go into more detail.\\nNow that you’ve gotten started, elaborate by pointing out specific qualities. To a friend, you could say something like, “I like the fact that you’re always there for me. You make me feel so supported.” To a significant other, you could say, “You are a caring person. You always put a lot of thought into our relationship.” Here are some other details you can add:\\n\\\"You're the first girlfriend to treat me like I'm truly special.\\\"\\n\\\"I look forward to our hangouts all week long. I have so much fun with you.\\\"\\n1-4. Back your statement up with an example.\\nTry to think of a specific example that you can use to support your comments. You could tell a friend, “You were really there for me when my dog Lucy died. I was so upset and you took the time to comfort me.” You could say to a significant other, “You really showed your thoughtfulness when you planned a picnic for us on our two month anniversary.” Here are some other things you can say:\\n“You’re so funny! I still laugh about the practical joke we played on your brother last summer.”\\n“You called to check on me when I was really sick. No one else did that.”\\n“You’re so smart. I aced the last algebra exam because you helped me study.”\\n2. Focusing on the Positive\\n2-1. Use positive and specific words.\\nInstead of saying something vague like, “You’re good at school,” try something like, “You’re so talented in art class. Your last project was great. I wish I could draw that well!” Instead of a neutral answer like, “You’re always nice to everyone,” you can say, “You really go out of your way to be kind and compassionate to other people.\\\" Use words that are specific and stand out as positive, like “talented” and “compassionate.” Try things like:\\n“You’re fearless! I love how brave you are.”\\n\\\"You're so knowledgeable and passionate about music! Every time we hang out, you share new bands with me.\\\"\\n2-2. Tell them about their best personality trait.\\nWhen you think about this person and their personality, what’s the first good thought or word that comes to mind? Are they funny? Smart? Determined? Talented? Happy? Attractive? Energetic? Whatever it is, tell them about it! Say things like:\\n“I like how funny you are. You always make me laugh when we hang out!”\\n“I like that you’re a happy and positive person. You create a good vibe around yourself and I like being around you.”\\n2-3. Focus\\nIt might seem like the right move to mention their looks, but try to place a lot more importance on their personality when you answer this question. It’s okay to tell someone they are pretty or handsome – you don’t have to avoid saying it! But if looks are the only thing you mention to them, the person might walk away feeling that their outward appearance is the only likable thing about them. Say things like:\\n“You’re a great listener.”\\n“You inspire me.”\\n\\\"You have a good heart.”\\n3. Being Thoughtful\\n3-1. Take a moment to think about why you’re being asked this.\\nIf your best friend was just broken up with, they are likely feeling sad and experiencing low self-esteem. Your significant other might be feeling insecure about your relationship. If you’ve recently had an argument with a friend, they may be worried that you are angry and truly don’t like them anymore. If you know why they are asking, give the person an encouraging answer that will lift them up. Say things like:\\n\\\"I've never felt this strongly about a boyfriend. You mean the world to me.\\\"\\n\\\"No matter what happens, I will always be your friend.\\\"\\n3-2. Take their question seriously.\\nTheir sudden question may some weird or silly to you, but they probably really want to know why you like them. Stop what you’re doing and focus on the person so that you can give them a good answer. Smile and look them in the eyes when you reply. Really think about your words instead of giving a half-hearted or brief answer.\\nIf the person has asked you this question many times before and seems to have no real reason for doing it, it’s possible that they are just fishing for compliments. This is especially true if they are never satisfied with the answer you give them.\\nIn this case, you can say something like, \\\"I have already answered this question several times. Is something else going on?\\\"\\n3-3. Be sincere\\nIf the person feels comfortable enough to ask you what you like about them, chances are you already know them pretty well. Because of this, you don’t have to force a fake answer. You really do like the person. Tell them how you really feel.\\nYou can say to a friend, \\\"Sarah, you've been my best friend since we were five years old. We've been through so much together. I can't imagine my life without you in it.\\\" You can then go on to list specifics.\\nIt’s unlikely, but if you are asked this question by someone that you don’t like or don't know well, try to be nice to them about it. Answer as sincerely as you can. You could say, \\\"I don't know you that well, but you seem like a really nice person.\\\"\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It can be a little stressful when someone asks you, “What do you like about me?” Even if you have lots of reasons why you like the person, being put on the spot can make it hard to answer them the way you’d like to. Take a moment to breathe so you can react in a positive way. Smile at the person and give them your full attention. Start with something really basic and go from there. Once you break the ice and get started, you’ll probably find it a bit easier to share more comments with them.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Reacting to the Question\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Breathe.\", \"描述\": \"When someone asks you this question, it might catch you off-guard or make you feel nervous because they are putting you on the spot. Feeling nervous can make you blurt out things without really thinking about them first. Sometimes nervousness can even make your mind go totally blank, and suddenly you can’t think of anything to say at all! Take a deep breath before you answer.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Start with something basic.\", \"描述\": \"Is this person your friend? A significant other? A family member? Whatever their role is, give them praise for that role. If you feel caught off-guard by the question, starting with something basic can also buy you some time to think about a more specific answer.\\nFor example, you could tell a friend, “You’re a really amazing friend to me.”\\nYou could say to a significant other, “You’re a really thoughtful boyfriend.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Go into more detail.\", \"描述\": \"Now that you’ve gotten started, elaborate by pointing out specific qualities. To a friend, you could say something like, “I like the fact that you’re always there for me. You make me feel so supported.” To a significant other, you could say, “You are a caring person. You always put a lot of thought into our relationship.” Here are some other details you can add:\\n\\\"You're the first girlfriend to treat me like I'm truly special.\\\"\\n\\\"I look forward to our hangouts all week long. I have so much fun with you.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Back your statement up with an example.\", \"描述\": \"Try to think of a specific example that you can use to support your comments. You could tell a friend, “You were really there for me when my dog Lucy died. I was so upset and you took the time to comfort me.” You could say to a significant other, “You really showed your thoughtfulness when you planned a picnic for us on our two month anniversary.” Here are some other things you can say:\\n“You’re so funny! I still laugh about the practical joke we played on your brother last summer.”\\n“You called to check on me when I was really sick. No one else did that.”\\n“You’re so smart. I aced the last algebra exam because you helped me study.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Focusing on the Positive\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use positive and specific words.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of saying something vague like, “You’re good at school,” try something like, “You’re so talented in art class. Your last project was great. I wish I could draw that well!” Instead of a neutral answer like, “You’re always nice to everyone,” you can say, “You really go out of your way to be kind and compassionate to other people.\\\" Use words that are specific and stand out as positive, like “talented” and “compassionate.” Try things like:\\n“You’re fearless! I love how brave you are.”\\n\\\"You're so knowledgeable and passionate about music! Every time we hang out, you share new bands with me.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tell them about their best personality trait.\", \"描述\": \"When you think about this person and their personality, what’s the first good thought or word that comes to mind? Are they funny? Smart? Determined? Talented? Happy? Attractive? Energetic? Whatever it is, tell them about it! Say things like:\\n“I like how funny you are. You always make me laugh when we hang out!”\\n“I like that you’re a happy and positive person. You create a good vibe around yourself and I like being around you.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Focus\", \"描述\": \"It might seem like the right move to mention their looks, but try to place a lot more importance on their personality when you answer this question. It’s okay to tell someone they are pretty or handsome – you don’t have to avoid saying it! But if looks are the only thing you mention to them, the person might walk away feeling that their outward appearance is the only likable thing about them. Say things like:\\n“You’re a great listener.”\\n“You inspire me.”\\n\\\"You have a good heart.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Thoughtful\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take a moment to think about why you’re being asked this.\", \"描述\": \"If your best friend was just broken up with, they are likely feeling sad and experiencing low self-esteem. Your significant other might be feeling insecure about your relationship. If you’ve recently had an argument with a friend, they may be worried that you are angry and truly don’t like them anymore. If you know why they are asking, give the person an encouraging answer that will lift them up. Say things like:\\n\\\"I've never felt this strongly about a boyfriend. You mean the world to me.\\\"\\n\\\"No matter what happens, I will always be your friend.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take their question seriously.\", \"描述\": \"Their sudden question may some weird or silly to you, but they probably really want to know why you like them. Stop what you’re doing and focus on the person so that you can give them a good answer. Smile and look them in the eyes when you reply. Really think about your words instead of giving a half-hearted or brief answer.\\nIf the person has asked you this question many times before and seems to have no real reason for doing it, it’s possible that they are just fishing for compliments. This is especially true if they are never satisfied with the answer you give them.\\nIn this case, you can say something like, \\\"I have already answered this question several times. Is something else going on?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be sincere\", \"描述\": \"If the person feels comfortable enough to ask you what you like about them, chances are you already know them pretty well. Because of this, you don’t have to force a fake answer. You really do like the person. Tell them how you really feel.\\nYou can say to a friend, \\\"Sarah, you've been my best friend since we were five years old. We've been through so much together. I can't imagine my life without you in it.\\\" You can then go on to list specifics.\\nIt’s unlikely, but if you are asked this question by someone that you don’t like or don't know well, try to be nice to them about it. Answer as sincerely as you can. You could say, \\\"I don't know you that well, but you seem like a really nice person.\\\"\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,726 | How to Answer Call on Viber on Android | 1. Tap and hold the white phone icon.
When you receive an incoming call in Viber, three phone receiver icons will appear on the screen.
The white one is in a circle at the center of the screen.
2. Drag the icon to the green phone receiver icon.
Make sure the white receiver overlaps the green receiver.
The two receivers must overlap.
3. Lift your finger from the screen.
Once you release your finger, the call will be active.
You can now speak with the caller.
To switch to speakerphone mode, tap .
To hang up the call, tap the large red and white phone receiver at the bottom of the screen.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:00",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Tap and hold the white phone icon.\\nWhen you receive an incoming call in Viber, three phone receiver icons will appear on the screen.\\nThe white one is in a circle at the center of the screen.\\n2. Drag the icon to the green phone receiver icon.\\nMake sure the white receiver overlaps the green receiver.\\nThe two receivers must overlap.\\n3. Lift your finger from the screen.\\nOnce you release your finger, the call will be active.\\nYou can now speak with the caller.\\nTo switch to speakerphone mode, tap .\\nTo hang up the call, tap the large red and white phone receiver at the bottom of the screen.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"This wikiHow teaches you how to answer an incoming Viber call on an Android phone or tablet.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tap and hold the white phone icon.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"When you receive an incoming call in Viber, three phone receiver icons will appear on the screen.\", \"描述\": \"The white one is in a circle at the center of the screen.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Drag the icon to the green phone receiver icon.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make sure the white receiver overlaps the green receiver.\", \"描述\": \"The two receivers must overlap.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Lift your finger from the screen.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Once you release your finger, the call will be active.\", \"描述\": \"You can now speak with the caller.\\nTo switch to speakerphone mode, tap .\\nTo hang up the call, tap the large red and white phone receiver at the bottom of the screen.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,727 | How to Answer Customer Emails | 1. Reading the Customer Email
1-1. Read the customer's email carefully.
Avoid the temptation to begin formulating a response before getting to the very last word in the correspondence. As you read the entire text, other insights may come to mind that will make it much easier to provide a truly constructive response.
1-2. Acknowledge the customer email as quickly as possible.
Let customers immediately know you care for and plan on investigating their concerns, there is personnel responsible for such actions, and a solution will be reached. Try a few of the following replies to personalize your own:
At (business name), we are 100% committed to meeting the needs of our customers. One of our customer representatives will reply within 24-hours.
In an effort to monitor and improve customer satisfaction at (business name), we would like to inform you we take all feedback seriously, and will reply to your concern as soon as possible.
We appreciate your concern and hope to keep your future business. Please allow us some time to investigate your issue and determine a suitable solution.
Whenever possible, go one step further and personally acknowledge the receipt. This is especially important if it will take time to gather the information necessary to adequately respond to customer queries, concerns, or suggestions.
1-3. Track all customer interaction.
There are customer software packages that do this for you, but in general there should be a way to identify the customer, their contact information, and their specific complaint. Be sure to include enough information, like a unique ID number, in case the customer has more than one bad experience.
2. Interpret the Customer Concerns
2-1. Put yourself in the customer’s position.
Before determining who is at fault, what the reply should be, and what solution will be provided, try to really identify with the customer. Imagine previous scenarios where you’ve been unhappy with a business, and formulate the type of answer that would have satisfied you then.
2-2. Consider the questions or concerns in the client's email.
At times, clients may be very direct, while at other times their words may hint at additional concerns. If there is question, do not guess at the client’s intentions. Get clarification by asking a question.
2-3. Make a list of specific issues.
Sift through the email to remove the concerns from vitriol. Try to break down the email into three different sections.
Identify what should be directly addressed. These items need immediate and concise answers.
Pick out what needs further clarification. If there are uncertain demands or complaints, be sure to find the items that need return questions to the customer.
Pay attention to any time-sensitive items. If a customer is unhappy with their service or product, and needs attention before a certain cut-off date, be aware of their scheduling concerns.
3. Answering the Customer Email
3-1. Thank the customer for the email.
When a customer takes the time to send an email, you are being given the opportunity to overcome obstacles and strengthen the relationship. Make it clear the customer is valuable and you will find a way to provide concise answers that solve their issues.
3-2. Apologize for any wrong-doing.
Sometimes all a customer wants is acknowledgement of an error, bad service provided, or an unsatisfactory product. Try one of the following to assuage the customer:
Sorry for our mistake. We’ll work harder next time to make your experience wonderful.
We’d like to offer our sincerest apologies. The same mistake will not be made again.
Oops! We definitely didn’t live up to expectations with your last interaction. We’ll try to do better in future visits.
3-3. Set reasonable expectations for responding with answers.
Many companies have a policy of answering emails within 24 business hours or less. Make sure your client knows when a reply can reasonably be expected.
3-4. Address each topic mentioned in the customer email.
An easy way is to respond to each point in the same order as listed in the original email. This will often make it easier for the client to quickly relate the responses to his or her comments, since the flow of answers is in sync with the arrangement of the customer's text.
3-5. Ask clarifying questions.
Should any comment expressed by the client be unclear in some manner, pose questions designed to obtain more detail. Avoid phrasing your questions so that simple yes or no responses are likely. Ideally, you want enough detail in return to fully address any remaining issues on the client's mind.
Can you please explain the customer service interactions with which you are unhappy?
Which items did you purchase, and which are unsatisfactory?
Would you please provide the details of the sales transaction, including the date, time, and sales ID number?
3-6. Handle angry customers with care.
Customers that are upset are unlikely to respond kindly to anything except acknowledgement and understanding of their complaint.
The customer is always right. Under nearly all scenarios, it does not behoove you to blame the customer for a mistake. Chalk up any interactions like this as a way to win over a customer.
Do not get into an argument with the customer via email. Keep attempting to resolve the situation by offering multiple solutions to the problem.
Offer realistic answers. While some difficult customers may ask for unrealistic outcomes, it’s best not to even suggest something that can’t be delivered. Only mention what can be done to remedy the problem.
3-7. Offer solutions without excuses.
Even if a client wants something that cannot be done, don't respond negatively. Include what solutions are available to address the underlying issue, especially if the fault is with your company. Ultimately, clients are more interested in what providers can do rather than what they can't.
Thanks for the email. We’ve found the source of the error and are would like to recompense you with 15% off of your previous order.
We appreciate the time you’ve spent to contact us. We’d like to offer you a full refund on the faulty product. Thank you for your business!
Sorry for shipping the incorrect item to you. We’ve already sent a replacement via overnight shipping. Please consider the first item a gift.
Your email has brought attention to a problem of which we were unaware. Thank you. Please use the attached coupon and accept a complimentary meal on your next visit.
Ask the customer for suggestions. They may find your solution insufficient. Provided the request is reasonable, it’s possible you’ll gain a valued customer by allowing them to dictate their own terms.
3-8. Monitor follow-up correspondence with the customer.
Ensure your company follows through with the solution provided, and the customer is satisfied. Never leave an issue unresolved.
Tips
Even if the customer issue mentioned in the email is due to a customer error, take ownership of the complaint. Avoid placing blame on the customer. The client will know he or she made a mistake once the matter is resolved, and will be grateful you avoided pointing fingers.
Customers who email complaints are upset with a situation, not with you as a person. Overlook verbiage that is used to vent frustration and don't take it personally. Focus attention on the root cause for the customer's distress, and respond in a way that addresses the problem without feelings or ego.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:00",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Reading the Customer Email\\n1-1. Read the customer's email carefully.\\nAvoid the temptation to begin formulating a response before getting to the very last word in the correspondence. As you read the entire text, other insights may come to mind that will make it much easier to provide a truly constructive response.\\n1-2. Acknowledge the customer email as quickly as possible.\\nLet customers immediately know you care for and plan on investigating their concerns, there is personnel responsible for such actions, and a solution will be reached. Try a few of the following replies to personalize your own:\\nAt (business name), we are 100% committed to meeting the needs of our customers. One of our customer representatives will reply within 24-hours.\\nIn an effort to monitor and improve customer satisfaction at (business name), we would like to inform you we take all feedback seriously, and will reply to your concern as soon as possible.\\nWe appreciate your concern and hope to keep your future business. Please allow us some time to investigate your issue and determine a suitable solution.\\nWhenever possible, go one step further and personally acknowledge the receipt. This is especially important if it will take time to gather the information necessary to adequately respond to customer queries, concerns, or suggestions.\\n1-3. Track all customer interaction.\\nThere are customer software packages that do this for you, but in general there should be a way to identify the customer, their contact information, and their specific complaint. Be sure to include enough information, like a unique ID number, in case the customer has more than one bad experience.\\n2. Interpret the Customer Concerns\\n2-1. Put yourself in the customer’s position.\\nBefore determining who is at fault, what the reply should be, and what solution will be provided, try to really identify with the customer. Imagine previous scenarios where you’ve been unhappy with a business, and formulate the type of answer that would have satisfied you then.\\n2-2. Consider the questions or concerns in the client's email.\\nAt times, clients may be very direct, while at other times their words may hint at additional concerns. If there is question, do not guess at the client’s intentions. Get clarification by asking a question.\\n2-3. Make a list of specific issues.\\nSift through the email to remove the concerns from vitriol. Try to break down the email into three different sections.\\nIdentify what should be directly addressed. These items need immediate and concise answers.\\nPick out what needs further clarification. If there are uncertain demands or complaints, be sure to find the items that need return questions to the customer.\\nPay attention to any time-sensitive items. If a customer is unhappy with their service or product, and needs attention before a certain cut-off date, be aware of their scheduling concerns.\\n3. Answering the Customer Email\\n3-1. Thank the customer for the email.\\nWhen a customer takes the time to send an email, you are being given the opportunity to overcome obstacles and strengthen the relationship. Make it clear the customer is valuable and you will find a way to provide concise answers that solve their issues.\\n3-2. Apologize for any wrong-doing.\\nSometimes all a customer wants is acknowledgement of an error, bad service provided, or an unsatisfactory product. Try one of the following to assuage the customer:\\nSorry for our mistake. We’ll work harder next time to make your experience wonderful.\\nWe’d like to offer our sincerest apologies. The same mistake will not be made again.\\nOops! We definitely didn’t live up to expectations with your last interaction. We’ll try to do better in future visits.\\n3-3. Set reasonable expectations for responding with answers.\\nMany companies have a policy of answering emails within 24 business hours or less. Make sure your client knows when a reply can reasonably be expected.\\n3-4. Address each topic mentioned in the customer email.\\nAn easy way is to respond to each point in the same order as listed in the original email. This will often make it easier for the client to quickly relate the responses to his or her comments, since the flow of answers is in sync with the arrangement of the customer's text.\\n3-5. Ask clarifying questions.\\nShould any comment expressed by the client be unclear in some manner, pose questions designed to obtain more detail. Avoid phrasing your questions so that simple yes or no responses are likely. Ideally, you want enough detail in return to fully address any remaining issues on the client's mind.\\nCan you please explain the customer service interactions with which you are unhappy?\\nWhich items did you purchase, and which are unsatisfactory?\\nWould you please provide the details of the sales transaction, including the date, time, and sales ID number?\\n3-6. Handle angry customers with care.\\nCustomers that are upset are unlikely to respond kindly to anything except acknowledgement and understanding of their complaint.\\nThe customer is always right. Under nearly all scenarios, it does not behoove you to blame the customer for a mistake. Chalk up any interactions like this as a way to win over a customer.\\nDo not get into an argument with the customer via email. Keep attempting to resolve the situation by offering multiple solutions to the problem.\\nOffer realistic answers. While some difficult customers may ask for unrealistic outcomes, it’s best not to even suggest something that can’t be delivered. Only mention what can be done to remedy the problem.\\n3-7. Offer solutions without excuses.\\nEven if a client wants something that cannot be done, don't respond negatively. Include what solutions are available to address the underlying issue, especially if the fault is with your company. Ultimately, clients are more interested in what providers can do rather than what they can't.\\nThanks for the email. We’ve found the source of the error and are would like to recompense you with 15% off of your previous order.\\nWe appreciate the time you’ve spent to contact us. We’d like to offer you a full refund on the faulty product. Thank you for your business!\\nSorry for shipping the incorrect item to you. We’ve already sent a replacement via overnight shipping. Please consider the first item a gift.\\nYour email has brought attention to a problem of which we were unaware. Thank you. Please use the attached coupon and accept a complimentary meal on your next visit.\\nAsk the customer for suggestions. They may find your solution insufficient. Provided the request is reasonable, it’s possible you’ll gain a valued customer by allowing them to dictate their own terms.\\n3-8. Monitor follow-up correspondence with the customer.\\nEnsure your company follows through with the solution provided, and the customer is satisfied. Never leave an issue unresolved.\\nTips\\nEven if the customer issue mentioned in the email is due to a customer error, take ownership of the complaint. Avoid placing blame on the customer. The client will know he or she made a mistake once the matter is resolved, and will be grateful you avoided pointing fingers.\\nCustomers who email complaints are upset with a situation, not with you as a person. Overlook verbiage that is used to vent frustration and don't take it personally. Focus attention on the root cause for the customer's distress, and respond in a way that addresses the problem without feelings or ego.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Answering customer emails is an important aspect of maintaining client loyalty and opening the door for future opportunities with those customers. In order to make the most of this particular type of communication exchange, it is important to make sure the response to each customer email indicates that the subject matter addressed in the original email was read carefully and that the answer is in direct response to the client's comments. Following a few simple steps will ensure the email does stay on topic and will meet the customer's approval.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Reading the Customer Email\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Read the customer's email carefully.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid the temptation to begin formulating a response before getting to the very last word in the correspondence. As you read the entire text, other insights may come to mind that will make it much easier to provide a truly constructive response.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge the customer email as quickly as possible.\", \"描述\": \"Let customers immediately know you care for and plan on investigating their concerns, there is personnel responsible for such actions, and a solution will be reached. Try a few of the following replies to personalize your own:\\nAt (business name), we are 100% committed to meeting the needs of our customers. One of our customer representatives will reply within 24-hours.\\nIn an effort to monitor and improve customer satisfaction at (business name), we would like to inform you we take all feedback seriously, and will reply to your concern as soon as possible.\\nWe appreciate your concern and hope to keep your future business. Please allow us some time to investigate your issue and determine a suitable solution.\\nWhenever possible, go one step further and personally acknowledge the receipt. This is especially important if it will take time to gather the information necessary to adequately respond to customer queries, concerns, or suggestions.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Track all customer interaction.\", \"描述\": \"There are customer software packages that do this for you, but in general there should be a way to identify the customer, their contact information, and their specific complaint. Be sure to include enough information, like a unique ID number, in case the customer has more than one bad experience.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Interpret the Customer Concerns\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Put yourself in the customer’s position.\", \"描述\": \"Before determining who is at fault, what the reply should be, and what solution will be provided, try to really identify with the customer. Imagine previous scenarios where you’ve been unhappy with a business, and formulate the type of answer that would have satisfied you then.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider the questions or concerns in the client's email.\", \"描述\": \"At times, clients may be very direct, while at other times their words may hint at additional concerns. If there is question, do not guess at the client’s intentions. Get clarification by asking a question.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make a list of specific issues.\", \"描述\": \"Sift through the email to remove the concerns from vitriol. Try to break down the email into three different sections.\\nIdentify what should be directly addressed. These items need immediate and concise answers.\\nPick out what needs further clarification. If there are uncertain demands or complaints, be sure to find the items that need return questions to the customer.\\nPay attention to any time-sensitive items. If a customer is unhappy with their service or product, and needs attention before a certain cut-off date, be aware of their scheduling concerns.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Answering the Customer Email\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Thank the customer for the email.\", \"描述\": \"When a customer takes the time to send an email, you are being given the opportunity to overcome obstacles and strengthen the relationship. Make it clear the customer is valuable and you will find a way to provide concise answers that solve their issues.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Apologize for any wrong-doing.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes all a customer wants is acknowledgement of an error, bad service provided, or an unsatisfactory product. Try one of the following to assuage the customer:\\nSorry for our mistake. We’ll work harder next time to make your experience wonderful.\\nWe’d like to offer our sincerest apologies. The same mistake will not be made again.\\nOops! We definitely didn’t live up to expectations with your last interaction. We’ll try to do better in future visits.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Set reasonable expectations for responding with answers.\", \"描述\": \"Many companies have a policy of answering emails within 24 business hours or less. Make sure your client knows when a reply can reasonably be expected.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Address each topic mentioned in the customer email.\", \"描述\": \"An easy way is to respond to each point in the same order as listed in the original email. This will often make it easier for the client to quickly relate the responses to his or her comments, since the flow of answers is in sync with the arrangement of the customer's text.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask clarifying questions.\", \"描述\": \"Should any comment expressed by the client be unclear in some manner, pose questions designed to obtain more detail. Avoid phrasing your questions so that simple yes or no responses are likely. Ideally, you want enough detail in return to fully address any remaining issues on the client's mind.\\nCan you please explain the customer service interactions with which you are unhappy?\\nWhich items did you purchase, and which are unsatisfactory?\\nWould you please provide the details of the sales transaction, including the date, time, and sales ID number?\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Handle angry customers with care.\", \"描述\": \"Customers that are upset are unlikely to respond kindly to anything except acknowledgement and understanding of their complaint.\\nThe customer is always right. Under nearly all scenarios, it does not behoove you to blame the customer for a mistake. Chalk up any interactions like this as a way to win over a customer.\\nDo not get into an argument with the customer via email. Keep attempting to resolve the situation by offering multiple solutions to the problem.\\nOffer realistic answers. While some difficult customers may ask for unrealistic outcomes, it’s best not to even suggest something that can’t be delivered. Only mention what can be done to remedy the problem.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Offer solutions without excuses.\", \"描述\": \"Even if a client wants something that cannot be done, don't respond negatively. Include what solutions are available to address the underlying issue, especially if the fault is with your company. Ultimately, clients are more interested in what providers can do rather than what they can't.\\nThanks for the email. We’ve found the source of the error and are would like to recompense you with 15% off of your previous order.\\nWe appreciate the time you’ve spent to contact us. We’d like to offer you a full refund on the faulty product. Thank you for your business!\\nSorry for shipping the incorrect item to you. We’ve already sent a replacement via overnight shipping. Please consider the first item a gift.\\nYour email has brought attention to a problem of which we were unaware. Thank you. Please use the attached coupon and accept a complimentary meal on your next visit.\\nAsk the customer for suggestions. They may find your solution insufficient. Provided the request is reasonable, it’s possible you’ll gain a valued customer by allowing them to dictate their own terms.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Monitor follow-up correspondence with the customer.\", \"描述\": \"Ensure your company follows through with the solution provided, and the customer is satisfied. Never leave an issue unresolved.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Even if the customer issue mentioned in the email is due to a customer error, take ownership of the complaint. Avoid placing blame on the customer. The client will know he or she made a mistake once the matter is resolved, and will be grateful you avoided pointing fingers.\\n\", \"Customers who email complaints are upset with a situation, not with you as a person. Overlook verbiage that is used to vent frustration and don't take it personally. Focus attention on the root cause for the customer's distress, and respond in a way that addresses the problem without feelings or ego.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,728 | How to Answer Discussion Questions | 1. Determining What is Being Asked
1-1. Break the question down into smaller pieces.
Often discussion questions can run long and may actually be multiple questions in one. When answering, you will want to answer all the parts of the question.
Look for conjunctions, such as the word “and,” that may be breaking the question into multiple thoughts.
It sometimes helps to rewrite the question into its component pieces separately. Then, you can focus on one part at a time.
For example: “Using the information from chapters 7 & 8 on emotional intelligence, give your own example that illustrates at least three of the author's main concepts.” Up to the first comma tells you what chapters' information you need to apply to your answer. “[G]ive your own example” lets you know to make up an applicable response that wasn't demonstrated in class already. The last part dictates what the example needs to have, i.e. 3 or more concepts from those chapters.
1-2. Pick out the task words to know how to word your answer.
Some task words are more clear than others. For example, “compare” lets you know there will be multiple items that you have to find similarities between. “Analyze,” on the other hand, can be more abstract.
In the above example, “give your own example” would be the task words that show you what the question requires in an answer.
There are some great resources that describe what each of these task words means in terms of answering a question—https://web.wpi.edu/Images/CMS/ARC/Answering_Essay_Questions_Made_Easier.pdf has 18 with descriptions of what each word needs you to do.
1-3. Determine what the other keywords are.
There are three types of keywords that can help you to better outline and understand your question—task words, content words, and limiting words. By picking these words out, you can define what the question is asking and how to answer it.
Content words are the nouns usually that give you the bulk of what the ideas are about. They will let you know the who, what, when, and where that you need to know about in order to answer.
Content words in the example would be “chapters 7 & 8 on emotional intelligence”.
Limiting words are often phrases or adjectives that give you hints as to what the question might be looking for specifically. They might seem like filler words, but they are not. Every word in a discussion question is a clue to the answer.
Limiting words for the example would be “your own,” which indicates the example should not be one already discussed in the class or text, and “at least three of the… concepts,” which dictates how many concepts you need to apply in the answer.
1-4. Ask for clarification if something doesn't make sense.
If you don't understand what is meant by a question, take the time to ask. Being on the same page about what you are to answer is crucial to answering a question correctly.
Reach out to the teacher or whoever posed the question, if you are able. They will be the best resource for explaining their thinking behind the question.
If you're allowed, discuss with classmates or other individuals trying to answer the question. Sometimes a different perspective can help clarify what you might be missing in the question.
2. Crafting a Thoughtful Response
2-1. Start by restating what the question has asked.
If the question says, “Discuss how Leonardo da Vinci has changed art today?” begin your answer similar to, “Leonardo da Vinci has changed art today by…” This will help show you are answering what was actually asked.
This does not need to be a word-for-word reiteration of the question. However, putting the question back into your answer immediately signifies you're on the right track.
If you can't do this, you need to go back and start over with determining what the question is asking.
2-2. Conclude your introductory paragraph with a thesis statement.
A thesis statement will sum up the points you plan to make in the body of your answer, often in list form. It is essentially an outline of the answer in a single sentence.
For example: ”Leonardo da Vinci's iconic works are still some of the most widely taught art pieces, and by POINT ONE, POINT TWO, and POINT THREE, he has forever changed modern art.” This introduces the points you would break up into the answer and points back to the question at hand.
2-3. Answer in the form that the task word calls for.
If you are supposed to “prove” something, answer with facts that connect to each other, leading to the conclusion. Avoid using your opinions unless asked because a proof should rely on the facts presented in the material as opposed to what you believe to be true. That being said, if you can back it up with support from the text or lessons, you will be better off than not having done so.
Trace in a discussion question needs you to make chronological connections between two events.
Define not only wants you to create a clear description of a topic or idea but wants you to back that up with context and material that lead you to that conclusion.
Outline is a chance to break up the question into major components. Then add details to each of those major events or points from the lessons.
In the da Vinci example, the task word “discuss” is an open-ended opportunity to create an argument for (or against) the notion that he has changed art even in today's world.
You could go into how the “Mona Lisa” and “The Last Supper” are still two of the most iconic artworks that are taught even to elementary school children.
As an example, continue to expand on the perspective and depth brought to the 2-dimensional world of “The Last Supper” and how that has influenced techniques of perspective in modern art.
2-4. Bring in topics and ideas covered in your lessons.
Back up the points you have in your answer by the material you have been taught. This shows you have learned and can apply those topics.
You can still have your opinions on topics as well, but using the material to support even your opinions is best.
”Why does the author introduce this character?” could be answered by covering the topic of foreshadowing, for example, if the character hints at a similar one later in the book.
2-5. Use concrete evidence to back up your claims.
No matter what kind of question you're answering, you'll need to back up your assertions with evidence from your material. Lead into it with a phrase like, “One example of this is…” or “We can clearly see this in…”. Sum up the material, analyze it to show how it reinforces your point, and remember to cite properly. Some examples of evidence include:
Quotes from the literary work for English class
A primary source document or a quote from one, for history class
Results from a lab or evidence from the textbook for science class
2-6. Touch on all the parts of your question.
Just as you broke the question down into its component parts before, you now need to reconstruct it in your answer. If your answer only gets to a part of the question, you still have work to do.
If you rewrote your question in smaller questions, go back to each and check off the ones you have covered completely with your answer.
Look at your limiting words again and make sure to check off on all of those as well. If you missed out on a clue, your answer might be falling short.
In the da Vinci example, you will need to make sure you discuss his artwork, and how that has actually made a “change” to modern art. While da Vinci influenced many fields, you want to answer specific to “art today” by showing there is a change to the techniques or styles from the 1500s when da Vinci lived to now.
2-7. Wrap up the response with a summary.
The conclusion to your answer should recap the body's main points and point back to how they answer the question that was posed. It helps the reader to briefly review the expanse of your answer in a bite-size chunk.
3. Polishing Your Response
3-1. Give yourself time to edit.
As you get better at breaking the question down, you will start to have more time to work on editing. Although you can make a good answer in your first pass, it is very beneficial to get at least one more edit in.
Read your answer to make sure it makes sense. Things like the ordering of sentences or paragraphs can be annoying to move, but it can be a great tool to distill your idea further.
Check off the parts of your question you've answered, right down to each keyword. If you left out a keyword in your answer, you've left out part of a complete answer.
3-2. Check that you have a clear intro, body, and conclusion.
The intro is going to setup your answer and outline the steps in the thesis statement. The body should answer the task words in a clear but concise manner. The conclusion will restate how this has answered the question, bringing it full circle.
Remember to have a thesis statement that outlines the points your body makes in the answer.
The body is often be broken up into at least three main parts that answer the question. “Compare” or “contrast” questions may only need two larger parts.
The conclusion needs to wrap up your thoughts from the body in a way that brings it back to the question. “These major milestones show why the author believed…” whatever was asked in the question, for example.
3-3. Realize there is often more than one right answer.
It is easy to feel unsure if you've got the right answer or not, but most discussion questions are going to have more than one right answer. Have confidence if you've followed these steps, and you're sure to get at least partial credit!
Tips
Practice, practice, practice. You will get better at answering discussion questions if you practice answering discussion questions.
Back up opinions with facts. If your question asks for your opinion, make sure to have at least one sentence per idea backing that opinion up.
Details are the best sign you know the material. However, make sure they're true and correct details.
Warnings
Avoid filler sentences that aren't adding any new information. It is a sign that you might not know what you're talking about.
Unless instructed otherwise, writing in the first-person is typically frowned upon. Saying, “I think…” or “...to me.” is best avoided.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Determining What is Being Asked\\n1-1. Break the question down into smaller pieces.\\nOften discussion questions can run long and may actually be multiple questions in one. When answering, you will want to answer all the parts of the question.\\nLook for conjunctions, such as the word “and,” that may be breaking the question into multiple thoughts.\\nIt sometimes helps to rewrite the question into its component pieces separately. Then, you can focus on one part at a time.\\nFor example: “Using the information from chapters 7 & 8 on emotional intelligence, give your own example that illustrates at least three of the author's main concepts.” Up to the first comma tells you what chapters' information you need to apply to your answer. “[G]ive your own example” lets you know to make up an applicable response that wasn't demonstrated in class already. The last part dictates what the example needs to have, i.e. 3 or more concepts from those chapters.\\n1-2. Pick out the task words to know how to word your answer.\\nSome task words are more clear than others. For example, “compare” lets you know there will be multiple items that you have to find similarities between. “Analyze,” on the other hand, can be more abstract.\\nIn the above example, “give your own example” would be the task words that show you what the question requires in an answer.\\nThere are some great resources that describe what each of these task words means in terms of answering a question—https://web.wpi.edu/Images/CMS/ARC/Answering_Essay_Questions_Made_Easier.pdf has 18 with descriptions of what each word needs you to do.\\n1-3. Determine what the other keywords are.\\nThere are three types of keywords that can help you to better outline and understand your question—task words, content words, and limiting words. By picking these words out, you can define what the question is asking and how to answer it.\\nContent words are the nouns usually that give you the bulk of what the ideas are about. They will let you know the who, what, when, and where that you need to know about in order to answer.\\nContent words in the example would be “chapters 7 & 8 on emotional intelligence”.\\nLimiting words are often phrases or adjectives that give you hints as to what the question might be looking for specifically. They might seem like filler words, but they are not. Every word in a discussion question is a clue to the answer.\\nLimiting words for the example would be “your own,” which indicates the example should not be one already discussed in the class or text, and “at least three of the… concepts,” which dictates how many concepts you need to apply in the answer.\\n1-4. Ask for clarification if something doesn't make sense.\\nIf you don't understand what is meant by a question, take the time to ask. Being on the same page about what you are to answer is crucial to answering a question correctly.\\nReach out to the teacher or whoever posed the question, if you are able. They will be the best resource for explaining their thinking behind the question.\\nIf you're allowed, discuss with classmates or other individuals trying to answer the question. Sometimes a different perspective can help clarify what you might be missing in the question.\\n2. Crafting a Thoughtful Response\\n2-1. Start by restating what the question has asked.\\nIf the question says, “Discuss how Leonardo da Vinci has changed art today?” begin your answer similar to, “Leonardo da Vinci has changed art today by…” This will help show you are answering what was actually asked.\\nThis does not need to be a word-for-word reiteration of the question. However, putting the question back into your answer immediately signifies you're on the right track.\\nIf you can't do this, you need to go back and start over with determining what the question is asking.\\n2-2. Conclude your introductory paragraph with a thesis statement.\\nA thesis statement will sum up the points you plan to make in the body of your answer, often in list form. It is essentially an outline of the answer in a single sentence.\\nFor example: ”Leonardo da Vinci's iconic works are still some of the most widely taught art pieces, and by POINT ONE, POINT TWO, and POINT THREE, he has forever changed modern art.” This introduces the points you would break up into the answer and points back to the question at hand.\\n2-3. Answer in the form that the task word calls for.\\nIf you are supposed to “prove” something, answer with facts that connect to each other, leading to the conclusion. Avoid using your opinions unless asked because a proof should rely on the facts presented in the material as opposed to what you believe to be true. That being said, if you can back it up with support from the text or lessons, you will be better off than not having done so.\\n\\nTrace in a discussion question needs you to make chronological connections between two events.\\nDefine not only wants you to create a clear description of a topic or idea but wants you to back that up with context and material that lead you to that conclusion.\\nOutline is a chance to break up the question into major components. Then add details to each of those major events or points from the lessons.\\nIn the da Vinci example, the task word “discuss” is an open-ended opportunity to create an argument for (or against) the notion that he has changed art even in today's world.\\nYou could go into how the “Mona Lisa” and “The Last Supper” are still two of the most iconic artworks that are taught even to elementary school children.\\nAs an example, continue to expand on the perspective and depth brought to the 2-dimensional world of “The Last Supper” and how that has influenced techniques of perspective in modern art.\\n2-4. Bring in topics and ideas covered in your lessons.\\nBack up the points you have in your answer by the material you have been taught. This shows you have learned and can apply those topics.\\nYou can still have your opinions on topics as well, but using the material to support even your opinions is best.\\n”Why does the author introduce this character?” could be answered by covering the topic of foreshadowing, for example, if the character hints at a similar one later in the book.\\n2-5. Use concrete evidence to back up your claims.\\nNo matter what kind of question you're answering, you'll need to back up your assertions with evidence from your material. Lead into it with a phrase like, “One example of this is…” or “We can clearly see this in…”. Sum up the material, analyze it to show how it reinforces your point, and remember to cite properly. Some examples of evidence include:\\nQuotes from the literary work for English class\\nA primary source document or a quote from one, for history class\\nResults from a lab or evidence from the textbook for science class\\n2-6. Touch on all the parts of your question.\\nJust as you broke the question down into its component parts before, you now need to reconstruct it in your answer. If your answer only gets to a part of the question, you still have work to do.\\nIf you rewrote your question in smaller questions, go back to each and check off the ones you have covered completely with your answer.\\nLook at your limiting words again and make sure to check off on all of those as well. If you missed out on a clue, your answer might be falling short.\\nIn the da Vinci example, you will need to make sure you discuss his artwork, and how that has actually made a “change” to modern art. While da Vinci influenced many fields, you want to answer specific to “art today” by showing there is a change to the techniques or styles from the 1500s when da Vinci lived to now.\\n2-7. Wrap up the response with a summary.\\nThe conclusion to your answer should recap the body's main points and point back to how they answer the question that was posed. It helps the reader to briefly review the expanse of your answer in a bite-size chunk.\\n3. Polishing Your Response\\n3-1. Give yourself time to edit.\\nAs you get better at breaking the question down, you will start to have more time to work on editing. Although you can make a good answer in your first pass, it is very beneficial to get at least one more edit in.\\nRead your answer to make sure it makes sense. Things like the ordering of sentences or paragraphs can be annoying to move, but it can be a great tool to distill your idea further.\\nCheck off the parts of your question you've answered, right down to each keyword. If you left out a keyword in your answer, you've left out part of a complete answer.\\n3-2. Check that you have a clear intro, body, and conclusion.\\nThe intro is going to setup your answer and outline the steps in the thesis statement. The body should answer the task words in a clear but concise manner. The conclusion will restate how this has answered the question, bringing it full circle.\\nRemember to have a thesis statement that outlines the points your body makes in the answer.\\nThe body is often be broken up into at least three main parts that answer the question. “Compare” or “contrast” questions may only need two larger parts.\\nThe conclusion needs to wrap up your thoughts from the body in a way that brings it back to the question. “These major milestones show why the author believed…” whatever was asked in the question, for example.\\n3-3. Realize there is often more than one right answer.\\nIt is easy to feel unsure if you've got the right answer or not, but most discussion questions are going to have more than one right answer. Have confidence if you've followed these steps, and you're sure to get at least partial credit!\\nTips\\nPractice, practice, practice. You will get better at answering discussion questions if you practice answering discussion questions.\\nBack up opinions with facts. If your question asks for your opinion, make sure to have at least one sentence per idea backing that opinion up.\\nDetails are the best sign you know the material. However, make sure they're true and correct details.\\nWarnings\\nAvoid filler sentences that aren't adding any new information. It is a sign that you might not know what you're talking about.\\nUnless instructed otherwise, writing in the first-person is typically frowned upon. Saying, “I think…” or “...to me.” is best avoided.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Discussion questions are a great way to explore and apply concepts with critical thinking. Despite many different wordings, the questions are specifically phrased to let you know exactly how to answer them. By breaking the questions down into parts, creating a strong response can be much easier than it seems!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determining What is Being Asked\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Break the question down into smaller pieces.\", \"描述\": \"Often discussion questions can run long and may actually be multiple questions in one. When answering, you will want to answer all the parts of the question.\\nLook for conjunctions, such as the word “and,” that may be breaking the question into multiple thoughts.\\nIt sometimes helps to rewrite the question into its component pieces separately. Then, you can focus on one part at a time.\\nFor example: “Using the information from chapters 7 & 8 on emotional intelligence, give your own example that illustrates at least three of the author's main concepts.” Up to the first comma tells you what chapters' information you need to apply to your answer. “[G]ive your own example” lets you know to make up an applicable response that wasn't demonstrated in class already. The last part dictates what the example needs to have, i.e. 3 or more concepts from those chapters.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pick out the task words to know how to word your answer.\", \"描述\": \"Some task words are more clear than others. For example, “compare” lets you know there will be multiple items that you have to find similarities between. “Analyze,” on the other hand, can be more abstract.\\nIn the above example, “give your own example” would be the task words that show you what the question requires in an answer.\\nThere are some great resources that describe what each of these task words means in terms of answering a question—https://web.wpi.edu/Images/CMS/ARC/Answering_Essay_Questions_Made_Easier.pdf has 18 with descriptions of what each word needs you to do.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Determine what the other keywords are.\", \"描述\": \"There are three types of keywords that can help you to better outline and understand your question—task words, content words, and limiting words. By picking these words out, you can define what the question is asking and how to answer it.\\nContent words are the nouns usually that give you the bulk of what the ideas are about. They will let you know the who, what, when, and where that you need to know about in order to answer.\\nContent words in the example would be “chapters 7 & 8 on emotional intelligence”.\\nLimiting words are often phrases or adjectives that give you hints as to what the question might be looking for specifically. They might seem like filler words, but they are not. Every word in a discussion question is a clue to the answer.\\nLimiting words for the example would be “your own,” which indicates the example should not be one already discussed in the class or text, and “at least three of the… concepts,” which dictates how many concepts you need to apply in the answer.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask for clarification if something doesn't make sense.\", \"描述\": \"If you don't understand what is meant by a question, take the time to ask. Being on the same page about what you are to answer is crucial to answering a question correctly.\\nReach out to the teacher or whoever posed the question, if you are able. They will be the best resource for explaining their thinking behind the question.\\nIf you're allowed, discuss with classmates or other individuals trying to answer the question. Sometimes a different perspective can help clarify what you might be missing in the question.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Crafting a Thoughtful Response\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start by restating what the question has asked.\", \"描述\": \"If the question says, “Discuss how Leonardo da Vinci has changed art today?” begin your answer similar to, “Leonardo da Vinci has changed art today by…” This will help show you are answering what was actually asked.\\nThis does not need to be a word-for-word reiteration of the question. However, putting the question back into your answer immediately signifies you're on the right track.\\nIf you can't do this, you need to go back and start over with determining what the question is asking.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Conclude your introductory paragraph with a thesis statement.\", \"描述\": \"A thesis statement will sum up the points you plan to make in the body of your answer, often in list form. It is essentially an outline of the answer in a single sentence.\\nFor example: ”Leonardo da Vinci's iconic works are still some of the most widely taught art pieces, and by POINT ONE, POINT TWO, and POINT THREE, he has forever changed modern art.” This introduces the points you would break up into the answer and points back to the question at hand.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Answer in the form that the task word calls for.\", \"描述\": \"If you are supposed to “prove” something, answer with facts that connect to each other, leading to the conclusion. Avoid using your opinions unless asked because a proof should rely on the facts presented in the material as opposed to what you believe to be true. That being said, if you can back it up with support from the text or lessons, you will be better off than not having done so.\\n\\nTrace in a discussion question needs you to make chronological connections between two events.\\nDefine not only wants you to create a clear description of a topic or idea but wants you to back that up with context and material that lead you to that conclusion.\\nOutline is a chance to break up the question into major components. Then add details to each of those major events or points from the lessons.\\nIn the da Vinci example, the task word “discuss” is an open-ended opportunity to create an argument for (or against) the notion that he has changed art even in today's world.\\nYou could go into how the “Mona Lisa” and “The Last Supper” are still two of the most iconic artworks that are taught even to elementary school children.\\nAs an example, continue to expand on the perspective and depth brought to the 2-dimensional world of “The Last Supper” and how that has influenced techniques of perspective in modern art.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Bring in topics and ideas covered in your lessons.\", \"描述\": \"Back up the points you have in your answer by the material you have been taught. This shows you have learned and can apply those topics.\\nYou can still have your opinions on topics as well, but using the material to support even your opinions is best.\\n”Why does the author introduce this character?” could be answered by covering the topic of foreshadowing, for example, if the character hints at a similar one later in the book.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use concrete evidence to back up your claims.\", \"描述\": \"No matter what kind of question you're answering, you'll need to back up your assertions with evidence from your material. Lead into it with a phrase like, “One example of this is…” or “We can clearly see this in…”. Sum up the material, analyze it to show how it reinforces your point, and remember to cite properly. Some examples of evidence include:\\nQuotes from the literary work for English class\\nA primary source document or a quote from one, for history class\\nResults from a lab or evidence from the textbook for science class\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Touch on all the parts of your question.\", \"描述\": \"Just as you broke the question down into its component parts before, you now need to reconstruct it in your answer. If your answer only gets to a part of the question, you still have work to do.\\nIf you rewrote your question in smaller questions, go back to each and check off the ones you have covered completely with your answer.\\nLook at your limiting words again and make sure to check off on all of those as well. If you missed out on a clue, your answer might be falling short.\\nIn the da Vinci example, you will need to make sure you discuss his artwork, and how that has actually made a “change” to modern art. While da Vinci influenced many fields, you want to answer specific to “art today” by showing there is a change to the techniques or styles from the 1500s when da Vinci lived to now.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Wrap up the response with a summary.\", \"描述\": \"The conclusion to your answer should recap the body's main points and point back to how they answer the question that was posed. It helps the reader to briefly review the expanse of your answer in a bite-size chunk.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Polishing Your Response\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give yourself time to edit.\", \"描述\": \"As you get better at breaking the question down, you will start to have more time to work on editing. Although you can make a good answer in your first pass, it is very beneficial to get at least one more edit in.\\nRead your answer to make sure it makes sense. Things like the ordering of sentences or paragraphs can be annoying to move, but it can be a great tool to distill your idea further.\\nCheck off the parts of your question you've answered, right down to each keyword. If you left out a keyword in your answer, you've left out part of a complete answer.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Check that you have a clear intro, body, and conclusion.\", \"描述\": \"The intro is going to setup your answer and outline the steps in the thesis statement. The body should answer the task words in a clear but concise manner. The conclusion will restate how this has answered the question, bringing it full circle.\\nRemember to have a thesis statement that outlines the points your body makes in the answer.\\nThe body is often be broken up into at least three main parts that answer the question. “Compare” or “contrast” questions may only need two larger parts.\\nThe conclusion needs to wrap up your thoughts from the body in a way that brings it back to the question. “These major milestones show why the author believed…” whatever was asked in the question, for example.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Realize there is often more than one right answer.\", \"描述\": \"It is easy to feel unsure if you've got the right answer or not, but most discussion questions are going to have more than one right answer. Have confidence if you've followed these steps, and you're sure to get at least partial credit!\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Practice, practice, practice. You will get better at answering discussion questions if you practice answering discussion questions.\\n\", \"Back up opinions with facts. If your question asks for your opinion, make sure to have at least one sentence per idea backing that opinion up.\\n\", \"Details are the best sign you know the material. However, make sure they're true and correct details.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Avoid filler sentences that aren't adding any new information. It is a sign that you might not know what you're talking about.\\n\", \"Unless instructed otherwise, writing in the first-person is typically frowned upon. Saying, “I think…” or “...to me.” is best avoided.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,729 | How to Answer Essay Type Questions in Literature Examinations | 1. Writing Your Essay
1-1. Begin by outlining your essay.
Now that you understand how the different parts of your argument work together, you can begin sketching out your ideas. You may be tempted to skip the work of outlining your paper and jumping right into the paper. You should know, though, that this doesn't save you any time. When you outline your ideas, you'll be able to actually write your essay much more quickly than you would without an outline.
Create a bullet point for each point you choose to make in your paper.
Your first point should include the introduction, statement of facts, and thesis.
You should break up the “proof” or body paragraphs into however many points you laid out in your thesis. If you promised three points, create three bullet points. If you promised four points, create four bullet points. Remember that the body paragraphs must follow the exact order of the thesis.
Create a point for the statement of the counterargument. You can either create a new point/paragraph for your refutation of it, or keep it all in one paragraph by making the refutation a subpoint.
Create a point for the conclusion.
1-2. Fill out your outline.
For each point in your outline, fill in the important information that will jog your memory when writing the essay. You don't have to write in full sentences or flesh ideas out in detail — just jot down whatever you need to keep you on track when you're lost in your sentences later.
If you're using external sources, you should include them in your outline. You don't want to accidentally leave out a great source because you got caught up in the writing and forgot about it.
1-3. Write your topic sentences into your outline.
The first sentence of each paragraph is called the "topic sentence," and it serves as a thesis for the paragraph. A thesis tells you the scope of what will be argued in the whole paper. A topic sentence tells you the scope of what will be argued in the paragraph. But the topic sentence does more than just point forward to what its paragraph will discuss. It also reaches back to create a smooth transition from the previous paragraph. Transitions can be difficult when you’re in the middle of the essay. When looking at an outline, you can see how all the pieces fit together.
Use transition words like furthermore, similarly, or indeed to transition between agreeing ideas.
Use "conflict" transition words and phrases to transition between conflicting ideas — like the counterargument and your refutation of it. Examples include however, in contrast, on the other hand, or conversely.
1-4. Use the outline to write your essay.
If you put some thought into your outline, you should be able to follow it line by line to create the content of your essay. Even with a strong outline, you may have trouble getting the writing process started. Especially if the exam is timed, just start writing, even if you think it's terrible. If you just sat there staring into space, you wouldn't have anything down at all. This way, at least you have something to show, and you can always delete the bad material when you find your way to stronger language and points.
Make sure to refer back to your outline repeatedly during the writing process. This is the roadmap of your answer. Don't wander away from it and get off-course.
1-5. Decide when to correct errors.
Think about what the exam is testing. Are you being tested on your analysis or on your ability to write? The answer to this question will determine how much effort you should put into editing your sentences as you go.
If you're being graded primarily on the content of your argument, leave grammar and spelling editing for your last step.
If you're being graded primarily on your grammar and spelling, by all means, correct your errors as you go!
In most cases, you won't be graded on one or the other. Keep your specific teacher or standardized test in mind. Have a strategy for when you plan to correct your errors before you take the test.
1-6. Proofread your essay before submitting it.
Hopefully, you have time left over when you finish writing your essay, before you have to turn it in. Use this time wisely. Even if you're sick of working on the answer and you just want to be done with it, use this time to proofread your writing.
If you're in an isolated room, read the essay aloud to yourself to look for grammar errors that sound wrong. It's easier to hear mistakes than see them on the page.
Read your sentences backwards to look for spelling errors you might skim over if you were reading the sentences normally.
2. Structuring Your Argument
2-1. Learn the six basic parts of the classical oration model.
Classical oration survives today through Cicero’s (106 BC - 46 BC) De Inventione — a manual for how to argue. Cicero was a philosopher, a lawyer, a statesman — in short, a man who spent a lot of time arguing. Cicero's six-part structure still influences how we argue, whether we've heard of him or not. It’s engrained in our Western culture. The six parts of the classical oration model are:
Introduction (exordium)
Statement of Facts (narratio)
Thesis (partitio)
Proof (confirmatio)
Refutation (refutatio)
Conclusion (peroratio)
The introduction, statement of facts, and thesis are often grouped together in the first paragraph of the answer.
2-2. Invite the reader into your argument in the introduction.
Though we call it the introduction now, Cicero's Latin for this first section of the paper was "exordium." This ancient word shares a root with the modern word "exhort," which means "to urge forward." To capture the spirit of what Cicero advised in opening an argument, you should use the introduction to urge the reader forward into your paper. Many arguments open with an interesting fact or quote — a "hook" to grab the reader's attention. Explain why the subject of this answer is so important. Your goal here is to make the reader care enough to want to keep reading.
Another way to think of the exordium is to consider where the word "introduction" comes from. The prefix "intro" means "inward," as in introspection (looking inward). "Duction" comes from the Latin root "ducere," which means "to lead." This is where we get the modern words duke (one who leads) and orchestra conductor (one who leads together).
In the introduction, you want to intro + duce, or lead the reader inward, further into your argument.
2-3. Provide background information in the statement of facts.
In this section, you give readers all the information they need to understand the subject of your argument. For example, if your readers have never read To Kill a Mockingbird, they won't be able to follow your analysis of the mockingbird symbol. You must first provide a short summary of what the book's about, so they can follow your nuanced argument.
If your reader already knows the background information, you may be able to skip this section.
In Cicero's Latin, this section was called the "narratio," which is where we get the modern word "narrator." The narrator is the voice in a book that gives readers information that can't be delivered through dialogue or action.
The word "knowledge" itself shares a root with narration: gnoscere. In this section, you give the readers the knowledge they need to follow your argument.
2-4. Break down your argument in your thesis.
Depending on how complex and long your argument is, your thesis might be one sentence or two to three sentences. If this is a short-answer question, the thesis should be a single sentence. If you have three hours to answer this question, it might be two or three sentences. A thesis statement does three things: 1) state your claim/stance; 2) state the key issues you will discuss to support that claim/stance; and 3) provide the order in which those issues will be covered. A good model for the thesis is: I will argue [claim/stance] through an analysis of X, Y, and Z. You must address points X, Y, and Z in this exact order.
Cicero's Latin word, partitio, shares a root with the modern word "partition," which means division or separation. When Beyonce sings "Driver roll up the partition, please," she's asking the driver to roll up the window that separates him from the passengers in the back.
So the thesis is where you list out the different parts of your argument — your X, Y, and Z — in list form, separately.
2-5. Show the readers the evidence for your claim in the proof.
These are the body paragraphs of your argument. In shorter answers, the number of body paragraphs can correspond with the number of points in your thesis. If you offered an X, a Y, and a Z, you can discuss each element in a single, brief paragraph. In longer, more advanced essay questions, though, you should feel free to spend as many paragraphs as you need on each point of analysis. If the question asks for external sources, you want to use them in your body paragraphs as the supporting evidence for your claim. Fill your body paragraphs with as many supporting quotes and statistics from credible sources as you need to prove your point.
Note that it's not enough to just list a bunch of quotes and statistics from sources. That's not making an argument — it's restating someone else's information or argument.
The sources you use should only be used to support your own argument. Most of what you write in the body paragraphs should be your own thoughts on the subject.
2-6. Refute the counterargument.
After you've laid out your own argument, you should address the opposition position. Doing so demonstrates that you're knowledgeable on the subject and you know what the people who disagree with you are arguing. It also shows that you're not scared of a fight: your argument is so strong that you can give dissents a voice in your paper without worrying they have a better argument than you. Most importantly, though, you want to demonstrate that you can dismantle the counterargument with your analysis and evidence.
Don't include a counterargument without refuting it. To refute means to "beat back." The only reason you include the opposing point of view is to beat it back and strengthen your own position.
2-7. Synthesize your argument in the conclusion.
In the conclusion, you should transition back from your refutation of the counterargument into a restatement of your own argument. But you should do more than just reword your thesis. At this point, your readers will have read all the evidence you provided. Now, you can explain to them how X, Y, and Z work together to actually prove your claim/stance. You might note that in the thesis you state your points, and in the conclusion you explain how they fit together as a whole.
Do not transition into your conclusion with a signal phrase like "in conclusion" or "in summary." Find a less obvious, more sophisticated transition.
Warnings
Never plagiarize another author's words or ideas. You can fail the assignment or even the entire course, or get suspended or expelled from school
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:00",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Writing Your Essay\\n1-1. Begin by outlining your essay.\\nNow that you understand how the different parts of your argument work together, you can begin sketching out your ideas. You may be tempted to skip the work of outlining your paper and jumping right into the paper. You should know, though, that this doesn't save you any time. When you outline your ideas, you'll be able to actually write your essay much more quickly than you would without an outline.\\nCreate a bullet point for each point you choose to make in your paper.\\nYour first point should include the introduction, statement of facts, and thesis.\\nYou should break up the “proof” or body paragraphs into however many points you laid out in your thesis. If you promised three points, create three bullet points. If you promised four points, create four bullet points. Remember that the body paragraphs must follow the exact order of the thesis.\\nCreate a point for the statement of the counterargument. You can either create a new point/paragraph for your refutation of it, or keep it all in one paragraph by making the refutation a subpoint.\\nCreate a point for the conclusion.\\n1-2. Fill out your outline.\\nFor each point in your outline, fill in the important information that will jog your memory when writing the essay. You don't have to write in full sentences or flesh ideas out in detail — just jot down whatever you need to keep you on track when you're lost in your sentences later.\\nIf you're using external sources, you should include them in your outline. You don't want to accidentally leave out a great source because you got caught up in the writing and forgot about it.\\n1-3. Write your topic sentences into your outline.\\nThe first sentence of each paragraph is called the \\\"topic sentence,\\\" and it serves as a thesis for the paragraph. A thesis tells you the scope of what will be argued in the whole paper. A topic sentence tells you the scope of what will be argued in the paragraph. But the topic sentence does more than just point forward to what its paragraph will discuss. It also reaches back to create a smooth transition from the previous paragraph. Transitions can be difficult when you’re in the middle of the essay. When looking at an outline, you can see how all the pieces fit together.\\nUse transition words like furthermore, similarly, or indeed to transition between agreeing ideas.\\nUse \\\"conflict\\\" transition words and phrases to transition between conflicting ideas — like the counterargument and your refutation of it. Examples include however, in contrast, on the other hand, or conversely.\\n1-4. Use the outline to write your essay.\\nIf you put some thought into your outline, you should be able to follow it line by line to create the content of your essay. Even with a strong outline, you may have trouble getting the writing process started. Especially if the exam is timed, just start writing, even if you think it's terrible. If you just sat there staring into space, you wouldn't have anything down at all. This way, at least you have something to show, and you can always delete the bad material when you find your way to stronger language and points.\\nMake sure to refer back to your outline repeatedly during the writing process. This is the roadmap of your answer. Don't wander away from it and get off-course.\\n1-5. Decide when to correct errors.\\nThink about what the exam is testing. Are you being tested on your analysis or on your ability to write? The answer to this question will determine how much effort you should put into editing your sentences as you go.\\nIf you're being graded primarily on the content of your argument, leave grammar and spelling editing for your last step.\\nIf you're being graded primarily on your grammar and spelling, by all means, correct your errors as you go!\\nIn most cases, you won't be graded on one or the other. Keep your specific teacher or standardized test in mind. Have a strategy for when you plan to correct your errors before you take the test.\\n1-6. Proofread your essay before submitting it.\\nHopefully, you have time left over when you finish writing your essay, before you have to turn it in. Use this time wisely. Even if you're sick of working on the answer and you just want to be done with it, use this time to proofread your writing.\\nIf you're in an isolated room, read the essay aloud to yourself to look for grammar errors that sound wrong. It's easier to hear mistakes than see them on the page.\\nRead your sentences backwards to look for spelling errors you might skim over if you were reading the sentences normally.\\n2. Structuring Your Argument\\n2-1. Learn the six basic parts of the classical oration model.\\nClassical oration survives today through Cicero’s (106 BC - 46 BC) De Inventione — a manual for how to argue. Cicero was a philosopher, a lawyer, a statesman — in short, a man who spent a lot of time arguing. Cicero's six-part structure still influences how we argue, whether we've heard of him or not. It’s engrained in our Western culture. The six parts of the classical oration model are:\\nIntroduction (exordium)\\nStatement of Facts (narratio)\\nThesis (partitio)\\nProof (confirmatio)\\nRefutation (refutatio)\\nConclusion (peroratio)\\nThe introduction, statement of facts, and thesis are often grouped together in the first paragraph of the answer.\\n2-2. Invite the reader into your argument in the introduction.\\nThough we call it the introduction now, Cicero's Latin for this first section of the paper was \\\"exordium.\\\" This ancient word shares a root with the modern word \\\"exhort,\\\" which means \\\"to urge forward.\\\" To capture the spirit of what Cicero advised in opening an argument, you should use the introduction to urge the reader forward into your paper. Many arguments open with an interesting fact or quote — a \\\"hook\\\" to grab the reader's attention. Explain why the subject of this answer is so important. Your goal here is to make the reader care enough to want to keep reading.\\nAnother way to think of the exordium is to consider where the word \\\"introduction\\\" comes from. The prefix \\\"intro\\\" means \\\"inward,\\\" as in introspection (looking inward). \\\"Duction\\\" comes from the Latin root \\\"ducere,\\\" which means \\\"to lead.\\\" This is where we get the modern words duke (one who leads) and orchestra conductor (one who leads together).\\nIn the introduction, you want to intro + duce, or lead the reader inward, further into your argument.\\n2-3. Provide background information in the statement of facts.\\nIn this section, you give readers all the information they need to understand the subject of your argument. For example, if your readers have never read To Kill a Mockingbird, they won't be able to follow your analysis of the mockingbird symbol. You must first provide a short summary of what the book's about, so they can follow your nuanced argument.\\nIf your reader already knows the background information, you may be able to skip this section.\\nIn Cicero's Latin, this section was called the \\\"narratio,\\\" which is where we get the modern word \\\"narrator.\\\" The narrator is the voice in a book that gives readers information that can't be delivered through dialogue or action.\\nThe word \\\"knowledge\\\" itself shares a root with narration: gnoscere. In this section, you give the readers the knowledge they need to follow your argument.\\n2-4. Break down your argument in your thesis.\\nDepending on how complex and long your argument is, your thesis might be one sentence or two to three sentences. If this is a short-answer question, the thesis should be a single sentence. If you have three hours to answer this question, it might be two or three sentences. A thesis statement does three things: 1) state your claim/stance; 2) state the key issues you will discuss to support that claim/stance; and 3) provide the order in which those issues will be covered. A good model for the thesis is: I will argue [claim/stance] through an analysis of X, Y, and Z. You must address points X, Y, and Z in this exact order.\\nCicero's Latin word, partitio, shares a root with the modern word \\\"partition,\\\" which means division or separation. When Beyonce sings \\\"Driver roll up the partition, please,\\\" she's asking the driver to roll up the window that separates him from the passengers in the back.\\nSo the thesis is where you list out the different parts of your argument — your X, Y, and Z — in list form, separately.\\n2-5. Show the readers the evidence for your claim in the proof.\\nThese are the body paragraphs of your argument. In shorter answers, the number of body paragraphs can correspond with the number of points in your thesis. If you offered an X, a Y, and a Z, you can discuss each element in a single, brief paragraph. In longer, more advanced essay questions, though, you should feel free to spend as many paragraphs as you need on each point of analysis. If the question asks for external sources, you want to use them in your body paragraphs as the supporting evidence for your claim. Fill your body paragraphs with as many supporting quotes and statistics from credible sources as you need to prove your point.\\nNote that it's not enough to just list a bunch of quotes and statistics from sources. That's not making an argument — it's restating someone else's information or argument.\\nThe sources you use should only be used to support your own argument. Most of what you write in the body paragraphs should be your own thoughts on the subject.\\n2-6. Refute the counterargument.\\nAfter you've laid out your own argument, you should address the opposition position. Doing so demonstrates that you're knowledgeable on the subject and you know what the people who disagree with you are arguing. It also shows that you're not scared of a fight: your argument is so strong that you can give dissents a voice in your paper without worrying they have a better argument than you. Most importantly, though, you want to demonstrate that you can dismantle the counterargument with your analysis and evidence.\\nDon't include a counterargument without refuting it. To refute means to \\\"beat back.\\\" The only reason you include the opposing point of view is to beat it back and strengthen your own position.\\n2-7. Synthesize your argument in the conclusion.\\nIn the conclusion, you should transition back from your refutation of the counterargument into a restatement of your own argument. But you should do more than just reword your thesis. At this point, your readers will have read all the evidence you provided. Now, you can explain to them how X, Y, and Z work together to actually prove your claim/stance. You might note that in the thesis you state your points, and in the conclusion you explain how they fit together as a whole.\\nDo not transition into your conclusion with a signal phrase like \\\"in conclusion\\\" or \\\"in summary.\\\" Find a less obvious, more sophisticated transition.\\nWarnings\\nNever plagiarize another author's words or ideas. You can fail the assignment or even the entire course, or get suspended or expelled from school\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Answering essay questions on literature exams can be daunting, especially with timed exams. Before the test, you should have a full understanding of how the different parts of a classical argument fit together to make a whole. The best way to quickly write an organized essay is to outline your argument before you begin your answer. With a little bit of preparation, you can ensure a good grade on your exam.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Writing Your Essay\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Begin by outlining your essay.\", \"描述\": \"Now that you understand how the different parts of your argument work together, you can begin sketching out your ideas. You may be tempted to skip the work of outlining your paper and jumping right into the paper. You should know, though, that this doesn't save you any time. When you outline your ideas, you'll be able to actually write your essay much more quickly than you would without an outline.\\nCreate a bullet point for each point you choose to make in your paper.\\nYour first point should include the introduction, statement of facts, and thesis.\\nYou should break up the “proof” or body paragraphs into however many points you laid out in your thesis. If you promised three points, create three bullet points. If you promised four points, create four bullet points. Remember that the body paragraphs must follow the exact order of the thesis.\\nCreate a point for the statement of the counterargument. You can either create a new point/paragraph for your refutation of it, or keep it all in one paragraph by making the refutation a subpoint.\\nCreate a point for the conclusion.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Fill out your outline.\", \"描述\": \"For each point in your outline, fill in the important information that will jog your memory when writing the essay. You don't have to write in full sentences or flesh ideas out in detail — just jot down whatever you need to keep you on track when you're lost in your sentences later.\\nIf you're using external sources, you should include them in your outline. You don't want to accidentally leave out a great source because you got caught up in the writing and forgot about it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Write your topic sentences into your outline.\", \"描述\": \"The first sentence of each paragraph is called the \\\"topic sentence,\\\" and it serves as a thesis for the paragraph. A thesis tells you the scope of what will be argued in the whole paper. A topic sentence tells you the scope of what will be argued in the paragraph. But the topic sentence does more than just point forward to what its paragraph will discuss. It also reaches back to create a smooth transition from the previous paragraph. Transitions can be difficult when you’re in the middle of the essay. When looking at an outline, you can see how all the pieces fit together.\\nUse transition words like furthermore, similarly, or indeed to transition between agreeing ideas.\\nUse \\\"conflict\\\" transition words and phrases to transition between conflicting ideas — like the counterargument and your refutation of it. Examples include however, in contrast, on the other hand, or conversely.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use the outline to write your essay.\", \"描述\": \"If you put some thought into your outline, you should be able to follow it line by line to create the content of your essay. Even with a strong outline, you may have trouble getting the writing process started. Especially if the exam is timed, just start writing, even if you think it's terrible. If you just sat there staring into space, you wouldn't have anything down at all. This way, at least you have something to show, and you can always delete the bad material when you find your way to stronger language and points.\\nMake sure to refer back to your outline repeatedly during the writing process. This is the roadmap of your answer. Don't wander away from it and get off-course.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Decide when to correct errors.\", \"描述\": \"Think about what the exam is testing. Are you being tested on your analysis or on your ability to write? The answer to this question will determine how much effort you should put into editing your sentences as you go.\\nIf you're being graded primarily on the content of your argument, leave grammar and spelling editing for your last step.\\nIf you're being graded primarily on your grammar and spelling, by all means, correct your errors as you go!\\nIn most cases, you won't be graded on one or the other. Keep your specific teacher or standardized test in mind. Have a strategy for when you plan to correct your errors before you take the test.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Proofread your essay before submitting it.\", \"描述\": \"Hopefully, you have time left over when you finish writing your essay, before you have to turn it in. Use this time wisely. Even if you're sick of working on the answer and you just want to be done with it, use this time to proofread your writing.\\nIf you're in an isolated room, read the essay aloud to yourself to look for grammar errors that sound wrong. It's easier to hear mistakes than see them on the page.\\nRead your sentences backwards to look for spelling errors you might skim over if you were reading the sentences normally.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Structuring Your Argument\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn the six basic parts of the classical oration model.\", \"描述\": \"Classical oration survives today through Cicero’s (106 BC - 46 BC) De Inventione — a manual for how to argue. Cicero was a philosopher, a lawyer, a statesman — in short, a man who spent a lot of time arguing. Cicero's six-part structure still influences how we argue, whether we've heard of him or not. It’s engrained in our Western culture. The six parts of the classical oration model are:\\nIntroduction (exordium)\\nStatement of Facts (narratio)\\nThesis (partitio)\\nProof (confirmatio)\\nRefutation (refutatio)\\nConclusion (peroratio)\\nThe introduction, statement of facts, and thesis are often grouped together in the first paragraph of the answer.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Invite the reader into your argument in the introduction.\", \"描述\": \"Though we call it the introduction now, Cicero's Latin for this first section of the paper was \\\"exordium.\\\" This ancient word shares a root with the modern word \\\"exhort,\\\" which means \\\"to urge forward.\\\" To capture the spirit of what Cicero advised in opening an argument, you should use the introduction to urge the reader forward into your paper. Many arguments open with an interesting fact or quote — a \\\"hook\\\" to grab the reader's attention. Explain why the subject of this answer is so important. Your goal here is to make the reader care enough to want to keep reading.\\nAnother way to think of the exordium is to consider where the word \\\"introduction\\\" comes from. The prefix \\\"intro\\\" means \\\"inward,\\\" as in introspection (looking inward). \\\"Duction\\\" comes from the Latin root \\\"ducere,\\\" which means \\\"to lead.\\\" This is where we get the modern words duke (one who leads) and orchestra conductor (one who leads together).\\nIn the introduction, you want to intro + duce, or lead the reader inward, further into your argument.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Provide background information in the statement of facts.\", \"描述\": \"In this section, you give readers all the information they need to understand the subject of your argument. For example, if your readers have never read To Kill a Mockingbird, they won't be able to follow your analysis of the mockingbird symbol. You must first provide a short summary of what the book's about, so they can follow your nuanced argument.\\nIf your reader already knows the background information, you may be able to skip this section.\\nIn Cicero's Latin, this section was called the \\\"narratio,\\\" which is where we get the modern word \\\"narrator.\\\" The narrator is the voice in a book that gives readers information that can't be delivered through dialogue or action.\\nThe word \\\"knowledge\\\" itself shares a root with narration: gnoscere. In this section, you give the readers the knowledge they need to follow your argument.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Break down your argument in your thesis.\", \"描述\": \"Depending on how complex and long your argument is, your thesis might be one sentence or two to three sentences. If this is a short-answer question, the thesis should be a single sentence. If you have three hours to answer this question, it might be two or three sentences. A thesis statement does three things: 1) state your claim/stance; 2) state the key issues you will discuss to support that claim/stance; and 3) provide the order in which those issues will be covered. A good model for the thesis is: I will argue [claim/stance] through an analysis of X, Y, and Z. You must address points X, Y, and Z in this exact order.\\nCicero's Latin word, partitio, shares a root with the modern word \\\"partition,\\\" which means division or separation. When Beyonce sings \\\"Driver roll up the partition, please,\\\" she's asking the driver to roll up the window that separates him from the passengers in the back.\\nSo the thesis is where you list out the different parts of your argument — your X, Y, and Z — in list form, separately.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Show the readers the evidence for your claim in the proof.\", \"描述\": \"These are the body paragraphs of your argument. In shorter answers, the number of body paragraphs can correspond with the number of points in your thesis. If you offered an X, a Y, and a Z, you can discuss each element in a single, brief paragraph. In longer, more advanced essay questions, though, you should feel free to spend as many paragraphs as you need on each point of analysis. If the question asks for external sources, you want to use them in your body paragraphs as the supporting evidence for your claim. Fill your body paragraphs with as many supporting quotes and statistics from credible sources as you need to prove your point.\\nNote that it's not enough to just list a bunch of quotes and statistics from sources. That's not making an argument — it's restating someone else's information or argument.\\nThe sources you use should only be used to support your own argument. Most of what you write in the body paragraphs should be your own thoughts on the subject.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Refute the counterargument.\", \"描述\": \"After you've laid out your own argument, you should address the opposition position. Doing so demonstrates that you're knowledgeable on the subject and you know what the people who disagree with you are arguing. It also shows that you're not scared of a fight: your argument is so strong that you can give dissents a voice in your paper without worrying they have a better argument than you. Most importantly, though, you want to demonstrate that you can dismantle the counterargument with your analysis and evidence.\\nDon't include a counterargument without refuting it. To refute means to \\\"beat back.\\\" The only reason you include the opposing point of view is to beat it back and strengthen your own position.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Synthesize your argument in the conclusion.\", \"描述\": \"In the conclusion, you should transition back from your refutation of the counterargument into a restatement of your own argument. But you should do more than just reword your thesis. At this point, your readers will have read all the evidence you provided. Now, you can explain to them how X, Y, and Z work together to actually prove your claim/stance. You might note that in the thesis you state your points, and in the conclusion you explain how they fit together as a whole.\\nDo not transition into your conclusion with a signal phrase like \\\"in conclusion\\\" or \\\"in summary.\\\" Find a less obvious, more sophisticated transition.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Never plagiarize another author's words or ideas. You can fail the assignment or even the entire course, or get suspended or expelled from school\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,730 | How to Answer Ethical Interview Questions | 1. Reviewing Example Ethical Interview Questions
1-1. Be aware of the purpose of ethical questions in an interview.
In a job interview, ethical questions are used to determine if you can be a responsible and sustainable employees. As an employee, you also want to feel like you are working for an ethical employer. So when you are asked ethical questions during your interview, this is a good sign that your employer cares about your morals and values as an employee.
In an interview for medical school, you will likely be asked ethical questions as a way to determine if you have sound ethical decision making. This is an essential element of being a good and responsible physician, especially in situations of life and death.
1-2. Read sample ethical questions for a job interview.
Before you head to your job interview, you should prepare for ethical interview questions by reviewing several common questions used by potential employers, including:
What would you do if someone in management asked you to do something unethical?
Tell me about a time you faced an ethical dilemma.
If you saw a coworker doing something dishonest, what would you do?
If you knew that your supervisor was doing something unethical, what would you do?
1-3. Review sample ethical questions for an interview for medical school.
The process for getting into medical school usually involves an in person interview, where you will be asked several ethically based questions, including:
You observe a fellow medical student cheating on an examination. What would you do?
How would you tell a patient just diagnosed with cancer that he has only a few weeks to live?
Would you get out of your car to help a victim after observing an accident?
What are your thoughts on euthanasia?
A pregnant 15-year-old unmarried teenager comes into your office asking for an abortion. What would you do? Would you inform her parents?
2. Responding to the Ethical Interview Questions
2-1. Focus on putting the best interests of the patient first in a medical interview.
One of the golden rules of answering ethical questions in a medical school interview is to always focus on how you can put your patient’s needs first. You should place the patient’s welfare above all else, as your role as a physician is to serve your patients, first and foremost.
For example, to answer the ethical question in a medical school interview: What are your thoughts on euthanasia?, you may consider how you can put the needs of a patient on life support first. If the patient is suffering unduly and there is no medical way to save her life, you may advocate for the use of euthanasia, as this will be in the best interests of the patient. As well, if the patient specified that she wanted to be euthanized once her health deteriorated to a certain point, you have an ethical obligation to fulfill her wishes, especially when there is nothing more you can do to save her life as her physician.
2-2. Try to put the employer's best interests first in a job interview.
When answering ethical questions in a job interview, you should try to put the needs of your employer first, where you are not putting your employer at risk in any way.
To answer the ethical question in a job interview: If you saw a coworker doing something dishonest, what would you do?, you may consider how the coworker’s actions puts your employer at risk. You may then respond by noting that the coworker is putting himself, the company, and other employees at risk, as his actions affect the ethics of everyone around him. As a result, you would confront him about his dishonesty and report him to your supervisor so he is held accountable for his actions.
2-3. Emphasize the importance of acting with integrity and honesty.
The interviewers are asking you ethical questions to test your ability to act with integrity and honesty. Your responses should reflect the importance of these attributes in your decision making and how much you value them.
For example, if you are answering the question: If you knew that your supervisor was doing something unethical, what would you do?, you may think about how the supervisor’s actions conflict with your ability to act with integrity and honesty. You may respond by noting that the supervisor was not acting with integrity or honesty, which is very important to you. To resolve the situation, you would confront your supervisor and report her to her supervisor or to the Human Resources department. This will ensure that your workplace remains honest and ethical.
If you are answering the question:You observe a fellow medical student cheating on an examination. What would you do?, you may note that your peer’s actions do not reflect your values of integrity and honesty. To resolve the situation, you would confront your peer and report her to the medical school. This will ensure the examination remains honest and ethical, and that you can act as an honest person moving forward in the examination process.
2-4. Lean on examples in your own experiences to support your response.
Often, using examples to support your response to an ethical question can show the interviewer how you can put your ethics into action in a specific situation. You should prepare one to two strong examples that explore an ethical dilemma and your response to it.
For example, you may receive a more open ended question such as: Tell me about a time you faced an ethical dilemma. You can respond by using a situation where you discovered a colleague was cutting corners on a group project, leading to nearly missing the client deadline. You may note that you waited for the project to be handed in and then confronted your colleague by expressing your disappointment and frustration with their unethical handling of the project. You may then suggest that your colleague speak to your supervisor to discuss how and why he cut corners, as this could put you, the team, and the company in jeopardy. If your colleague refuses to do this, you may decide to talk to your supervisor yourself.
This response shows that you are trying to stay true to your ethics and show your colleague the courtesy of speaking to her one on one. By giving her the option to speak to your supervisor herself, you are extending trust to your colleague. It also shows you are willing to try to work out the issue among you and your colleague first, before going to your supervisor.
2-5. Write down your response and then recite it out loud.
It can be helpful to write down your response on a piece of paper or on your computer and then read it out loud to yourself to ensure it flows and makes sense. This will allow you to better prepare for the actual interview, as you will have a lower risk of babbling and long winded responses if you write down your thoughts first.
You can recite your response to yourself in front of a mirror so you can gauge your body language and your eye contact. You should have relaxed body language with your arms at your sides and your body facing forward. You should also maintain eye contact, and display happy facial expressions, like smiling or laughing.
2-6. Practice responding to the questions with a friend or peer.
You can practice your responses to ethical questions by having a friend pretend to be your interviewer. Have a friend or peer ask you a series of ethical questions to determine how well you can respond to each question naturally, but concisely.
You should try to respond to the questions from memory, so you may need to memorize some of your written answers. You should also be willing to get feedback on your responses from your friend or peer and adjust your responses based on their feedback.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:00",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Reviewing Example Ethical Interview Questions\\n1-1. Be aware of the purpose of ethical questions in an interview.\\nIn a job interview, ethical questions are used to determine if you can be a responsible and sustainable employees. As an employee, you also want to feel like you are working for an ethical employer. So when you are asked ethical questions during your interview, this is a good sign that your employer cares about your morals and values as an employee.\\nIn an interview for medical school, you will likely be asked ethical questions as a way to determine if you have sound ethical decision making. This is an essential element of being a good and responsible physician, especially in situations of life and death.\\n1-2. Read sample ethical questions for a job interview.\\nBefore you head to your job interview, you should prepare for ethical interview questions by reviewing several common questions used by potential employers, including:\\nWhat would you do if someone in management asked you to do something unethical?\\nTell me about a time you faced an ethical dilemma.\\nIf you saw a coworker doing something dishonest, what would you do?\\nIf you knew that your supervisor was doing something unethical, what would you do?\\n1-3. Review sample ethical questions for an interview for medical school.\\nThe process for getting into medical school usually involves an in person interview, where you will be asked several ethically based questions, including:\\nYou observe a fellow medical student cheating on an examination. What would you do?\\nHow would you tell a patient just diagnosed with cancer that he has only a few weeks to live?\\nWould you get out of your car to help a victim after observing an accident?\\nWhat are your thoughts on euthanasia?\\nA pregnant 15-year-old unmarried teenager comes into your office asking for an abortion. What would you do? Would you inform her parents?\\n2. Responding to the Ethical Interview Questions\\n2-1. Focus on putting the best interests of the patient first in a medical interview.\\nOne of the golden rules of answering ethical questions in a medical school interview is to always focus on how you can put your patient’s needs first. You should place the patient’s welfare above all else, as your role as a physician is to serve your patients, first and foremost. \\nFor example, to answer the ethical question in a medical school interview: What are your thoughts on euthanasia?, you may consider how you can put the needs of a patient on life support first. If the patient is suffering unduly and there is no medical way to save her life, you may advocate for the use of euthanasia, as this will be in the best interests of the patient. As well, if the patient specified that she wanted to be euthanized once her health deteriorated to a certain point, you have an ethical obligation to fulfill her wishes, especially when there is nothing more you can do to save her life as her physician.\\n2-2. Try to put the employer's best interests first in a job interview.\\nWhen answering ethical questions in a job interview, you should try to put the needs of your employer first, where you are not putting your employer at risk in any way.\\nTo answer the ethical question in a job interview: If you saw a coworker doing something dishonest, what would you do?, you may consider how the coworker’s actions puts your employer at risk. You may then respond by noting that the coworker is putting himself, the company, and other employees at risk, as his actions affect the ethics of everyone around him. As a result, you would confront him about his dishonesty and report him to your supervisor so he is held accountable for his actions.\\n2-3. Emphasize the importance of acting with integrity and honesty.\\nThe interviewers are asking you ethical questions to test your ability to act with integrity and honesty. Your responses should reflect the importance of these attributes in your decision making and how much you value them.\\nFor example, if you are answering the question: If you knew that your supervisor was doing something unethical, what would you do?, you may think about how the supervisor’s actions conflict with your ability to act with integrity and honesty. You may respond by noting that the supervisor was not acting with integrity or honesty, which is very important to you. To resolve the situation, you would confront your supervisor and report her to her supervisor or to the Human Resources department. This will ensure that your workplace remains honest and ethical.\\nIf you are answering the question:You observe a fellow medical student cheating on an examination. What would you do?, you may note that your peer’s actions do not reflect your values of integrity and honesty. To resolve the situation, you would confront your peer and report her to the medical school. This will ensure the examination remains honest and ethical, and that you can act as an honest person moving forward in the examination process.\\n2-4. Lean on examples in your own experiences to support your response.\\nOften, using examples to support your response to an ethical question can show the interviewer how you can put your ethics into action in a specific situation. You should prepare one to two strong examples that explore an ethical dilemma and your response to it.\\nFor example, you may receive a more open ended question such as: Tell me about a time you faced an ethical dilemma. You can respond by using a situation where you discovered a colleague was cutting corners on a group project, leading to nearly missing the client deadline. You may note that you waited for the project to be handed in and then confronted your colleague by expressing your disappointment and frustration with their unethical handling of the project. You may then suggest that your colleague speak to your supervisor to discuss how and why he cut corners, as this could put you, the team, and the company in jeopardy. If your colleague refuses to do this, you may decide to talk to your supervisor yourself.\\nThis response shows that you are trying to stay true to your ethics and show your colleague the courtesy of speaking to her one on one. By giving her the option to speak to your supervisor herself, you are extending trust to your colleague. It also shows you are willing to try to work out the issue among you and your colleague first, before going to your supervisor.\\n2-5. Write down your response and then recite it out loud.\\nIt can be helpful to write down your response on a piece of paper or on your computer and then read it out loud to yourself to ensure it flows and makes sense. This will allow you to better prepare for the actual interview, as you will have a lower risk of babbling and long winded responses if you write down your thoughts first.\\nYou can recite your response to yourself in front of a mirror so you can gauge your body language and your eye contact. You should have relaxed body language with your arms at your sides and your body facing forward. You should also maintain eye contact, and display happy facial expressions, like smiling or laughing.\\n2-6. Practice responding to the questions with a friend or peer.\\nYou can practice your responses to ethical questions by having a friend pretend to be your interviewer. Have a friend or peer ask you a series of ethical questions to determine how well you can respond to each question naturally, but concisely. \\nYou should try to respond to the questions from memory, so you may need to memorize some of your written answers. You should also be willing to get feedback on your responses from your friend or peer and adjust your responses based on their feedback.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Many employers include ethical questions as part of their interview process and it can be tricky to determine how to best answer these types of questions. Medical school interviews are also known for their ethical questions to determine the interviewee’s ethical decision making. It can be helpful to first review different ethical interview questions so you have a good sense of what these questions are like, and then practice responding to them so you are better prepared in your interview.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Reviewing Example Ethical Interview Questions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be aware of the purpose of ethical questions in an interview.\", \"描述\": \"In a job interview, ethical questions are used to determine if you can be a responsible and sustainable employees. As an employee, you also want to feel like you are working for an ethical employer. So when you are asked ethical questions during your interview, this is a good sign that your employer cares about your morals and values as an employee.\\nIn an interview for medical school, you will likely be asked ethical questions as a way to determine if you have sound ethical decision making. This is an essential element of being a good and responsible physician, especially in situations of life and death.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Read sample ethical questions for a job interview.\", \"描述\": \"Before you head to your job interview, you should prepare for ethical interview questions by reviewing several common questions used by potential employers, including:\\nWhat would you do if someone in management asked you to do something unethical?\\nTell me about a time you faced an ethical dilemma.\\nIf you saw a coworker doing something dishonest, what would you do?\\nIf you knew that your supervisor was doing something unethical, what would you do?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Review sample ethical questions for an interview for medical school.\", \"描述\": \"The process for getting into medical school usually involves an in person interview, where you will be asked several ethically based questions, including:\\nYou observe a fellow medical student cheating on an examination. What would you do?\\nHow would you tell a patient just diagnosed with cancer that he has only a few weeks to live?\\nWould you get out of your car to help a victim after observing an accident?\\nWhat are your thoughts on euthanasia?\\nA pregnant 15-year-old unmarried teenager comes into your office asking for an abortion. What would you do? Would you inform her parents?\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Responding to the Ethical Interview Questions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Focus on putting the best interests of the patient first in a medical interview.\", \"描述\": \"One of the golden rules of answering ethical questions in a medical school interview is to always focus on how you can put your patient’s needs first. You should place the patient’s welfare above all else, as your role as a physician is to serve your patients, first and foremost. \\nFor example, to answer the ethical question in a medical school interview: What are your thoughts on euthanasia?, you may consider how you can put the needs of a patient on life support first. If the patient is suffering unduly and there is no medical way to save her life, you may advocate for the use of euthanasia, as this will be in the best interests of the patient. As well, if the patient specified that she wanted to be euthanized once her health deteriorated to a certain point, you have an ethical obligation to fulfill her wishes, especially when there is nothing more you can do to save her life as her physician.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try to put the employer's best interests first in a job interview.\", \"描述\": \"When answering ethical questions in a job interview, you should try to put the needs of your employer first, where you are not putting your employer at risk in any way.\\nTo answer the ethical question in a job interview: If you saw a coworker doing something dishonest, what would you do?, you may consider how the coworker’s actions puts your employer at risk. You may then respond by noting that the coworker is putting himself, the company, and other employees at risk, as his actions affect the ethics of everyone around him. As a result, you would confront him about his dishonesty and report him to your supervisor so he is held accountable for his actions.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Emphasize the importance of acting with integrity and honesty.\", \"描述\": \"The interviewers are asking you ethical questions to test your ability to act with integrity and honesty. Your responses should reflect the importance of these attributes in your decision making and how much you value them.\\nFor example, if you are answering the question: If you knew that your supervisor was doing something unethical, what would you do?, you may think about how the supervisor’s actions conflict with your ability to act with integrity and honesty. You may respond by noting that the supervisor was not acting with integrity or honesty, which is very important to you. To resolve the situation, you would confront your supervisor and report her to her supervisor or to the Human Resources department. This will ensure that your workplace remains honest and ethical.\\nIf you are answering the question:You observe a fellow medical student cheating on an examination. What would you do?, you may note that your peer’s actions do not reflect your values of integrity and honesty. To resolve the situation, you would confront your peer and report her to the medical school. This will ensure the examination remains honest and ethical, and that you can act as an honest person moving forward in the examination process.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Lean on examples in your own experiences to support your response.\", \"描述\": \"Often, using examples to support your response to an ethical question can show the interviewer how you can put your ethics into action in a specific situation. You should prepare one to two strong examples that explore an ethical dilemma and your response to it.\\nFor example, you may receive a more open ended question such as: Tell me about a time you faced an ethical dilemma. You can respond by using a situation where you discovered a colleague was cutting corners on a group project, leading to nearly missing the client deadline. You may note that you waited for the project to be handed in and then confronted your colleague by expressing your disappointment and frustration with their unethical handling of the project. You may then suggest that your colleague speak to your supervisor to discuss how and why he cut corners, as this could put you, the team, and the company in jeopardy. If your colleague refuses to do this, you may decide to talk to your supervisor yourself.\\nThis response shows that you are trying to stay true to your ethics and show your colleague the courtesy of speaking to her one on one. By giving her the option to speak to your supervisor herself, you are extending trust to your colleague. It also shows you are willing to try to work out the issue among you and your colleague first, before going to your supervisor.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Write down your response and then recite it out loud.\", \"描述\": \"It can be helpful to write down your response on a piece of paper or on your computer and then read it out loud to yourself to ensure it flows and makes sense. This will allow you to better prepare for the actual interview, as you will have a lower risk of babbling and long winded responses if you write down your thoughts first.\\nYou can recite your response to yourself in front of a mirror so you can gauge your body language and your eye contact. You should have relaxed body language with your arms at your sides and your body facing forward. You should also maintain eye contact, and display happy facial expressions, like smiling or laughing.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Practice responding to the questions with a friend or peer.\", \"描述\": \"You can practice your responses to ethical questions by having a friend pretend to be your interviewer. Have a friend or peer ask you a series of ethical questions to determine how well you can respond to each question naturally, but concisely. \\nYou should try to respond to the questions from memory, so you may need to memorize some of your written answers. You should also be willing to get feedback on your responses from your friend or peer and adjust your responses based on their feedback.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
1,731 | How to Answer Expected Salary in Email | 1. Determining How Much You Need to Make
1-1. Calculate your living expenses.
Figure out the minimum that you need to make in order to cover your monthly costs, then multiply it by 12 to get the minimum that you need to make each year. It may help to create a spreadsheet that lists your costs while you're calculating them. These costs can include things like rent, bills, and extra spending money. You'll also want to consider taxes when calculating your income and expenses.
To figure out your net pay, deduct the taxes you have to pay from your total pay.
Remember to include quarterly or yearly bills that you need to pay as well.
1-2. Research how much others make in the same position.
Search sites like Glassdoor, Indeed, and the Bureau of Labor Statistics to find salaries for your particular job. This will give you a better idea of what you should be making in the position and can help you set a number for your salary expectations.
You can sometimes find past salaries at the specific company you are applying to on sites like Glassdoor. Knowing this information will inform you how the company is paying employees in similar positions.
1-3. Determine the cost of living in your area.
The cost of living in certain cities, states, or countries varies significantly and affects how much people get paid in the area. Websites like Glassdoor, Salary.com, and Payscale.com have local employment statistics so that you can see what people are generally earning near you. Use these websites to help narrow down your salary expectations.
For instance, if you live in New York City, the cost of living, and thus the salaries, will be much higher than if you lived in Raleigh, North Carolina.
1-4. Be honest with your salary expectations.
Don't ask for more than you think you're worth just because you want more money. On the flip-side, you should also not low-ball the number or you may end up getting paid poorly in your new position. Be as honest and upfront as you can with yourself and your potential employer when responding to expected salary questions.
2. Writing the Email
2-1. Provide a simple and concise subject line.
The subject line should be short and to the point. You should add some identifier so that the person can easily find the email when they search for it.
For instance, the subject line could be something like, “Garrett Anthony - Expected salary information.”
2-2. Use the same tone as previous correspondence.
If your correspondence with the employer has been formal thus far, keep it that way in your email. If you've been communicating on a more informal basis, a “Hello,” followed by the first name will probably suffice in the intro.
Use salutations like "Mr.," "Ms.," and "Mrs." if you've used them throughout the hiring process.
For formal communications, you may want to start the letter with something like, “Dear Mr. Smith.” For more informal jobs, a “Hello John” or “Hi John,” should suffice.
2-3. Write a short 2-3 sentences thanking them for the opportunity.
A small thank you paragraph will let them know that you're still interested in the position. This is also a great way to segue into the more serious conversation of salary and benefits.
The first paragraph can be something like, “Thanks so much for the opportunity! I appreciate the time that you've given me during this process and I'm excited about the prospect of joining the team.”
2-4. Include your expected salary and 2-3 sentences and why you deserve it.
The second paragraph should include your expected salary. Make sure to justify the number with a couple of sentences highlighting your education or experience. This will improve the chances of you getting the salary that you want.
Your second paragraph can be something like, “Based on my 5 years of experience, I think that something in between $50,000 and $65,000 would be appropriate.”
2-5. Double-check your email for grammatical and spelling errors.
Double or triple check the email before you hit the send button to avoid leaving the wrong impression. Spelling and grammar errors in your email can make you look unprofessional and could hurt your chances to get the job.
Run spell and grammar check on emails before you send them to avoid mistakes.
Even though the email is short, it's important that everything is clear and correct.
3. Improving Your Chances of Getting an Offer
3-1. Provide a salary range that satisfies you instead of a concrete number.
If you're unsure of what the employer is willing to pay or what you want to ask for, you can give them a range. Use your research and find the lowest and highest paid people with similar experience in your particular position to create that range.
Giving a range will show them that you're flexible and may benefit you during salary negotiations.
3-2. Say that the salary is negotiable based on benefits.
Benefits can save you a lot of money so it's important that you take them into consideration when answering the expected salary question. On the flip side, the job may offer no benefits. In this case, it's okay to ask for a little more than the market average to make up for the lack of benefits.
You can write something in the email like, “Negotiable based on the benefits package.”
For instance, if the position offers health benefits that would normally cost you $2,000 per year, you'll need to calculate that into your expected salary.
3-3. Let them know that you are flexible with the salary.
Tell the employer that you're flexible, especially if you really want the job. This may keep you in the running and could come in handy during salary negotiations later.
You can write something like, “I'm highly flexible with my salary and would love the opportunity to join the team.”
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:01",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Determining How Much You Need to Make\\n1-1. Calculate your living expenses.\\nFigure out the minimum that you need to make in order to cover your monthly costs, then multiply it by 12 to get the minimum that you need to make each year. It may help to create a spreadsheet that lists your costs while you're calculating them. These costs can include things like rent, bills, and extra spending money. You'll also want to consider taxes when calculating your income and expenses.\\nTo figure out your net pay, deduct the taxes you have to pay from your total pay.\\nRemember to include quarterly or yearly bills that you need to pay as well.\\n1-2. Research how much others make in the same position.\\nSearch sites like Glassdoor, Indeed, and the Bureau of Labor Statistics to find salaries for your particular job. This will give you a better idea of what you should be making in the position and can help you set a number for your salary expectations.\\nYou can sometimes find past salaries at the specific company you are applying to on sites like Glassdoor. Knowing this information will inform you how the company is paying employees in similar positions.\\n1-3. Determine the cost of living in your area.\\nThe cost of living in certain cities, states, or countries varies significantly and affects how much people get paid in the area. Websites like Glassdoor, Salary.com, and Payscale.com have local employment statistics so that you can see what people are generally earning near you. Use these websites to help narrow down your salary expectations.\\nFor instance, if you live in New York City, the cost of living, and thus the salaries, will be much higher than if you lived in Raleigh, North Carolina.\\n1-4. Be honest with your salary expectations.\\nDon't ask for more than you think you're worth just because you want more money. On the flip-side, you should also not low-ball the number or you may end up getting paid poorly in your new position. Be as honest and upfront as you can with yourself and your potential employer when responding to expected salary questions.\\n2. Writing the Email\\n2-1. Provide a simple and concise subject line.\\nThe subject line should be short and to the point. You should add some identifier so that the person can easily find the email when they search for it.\\nFor instance, the subject line could be something like, “Garrett Anthony - Expected salary information.”\\n2-2. Use the same tone as previous correspondence.\\nIf your correspondence with the employer has been formal thus far, keep it that way in your email. If you've been communicating on a more informal basis, a “Hello,” followed by the first name will probably suffice in the intro.\\nUse salutations like \\\"Mr.,\\\" \\\"Ms.,\\\" and \\\"Mrs.\\\" if you've used them throughout the hiring process.\\nFor formal communications, you may want to start the letter with something like, “Dear Mr. Smith.” For more informal jobs, a “Hello John” or “Hi John,” should suffice.\\n2-3. Write a short 2-3 sentences thanking them for the opportunity.\\nA small thank you paragraph will let them know that you're still interested in the position. This is also a great way to segue into the more serious conversation of salary and benefits.\\nThe first paragraph can be something like, “Thanks so much for the opportunity! I appreciate the time that you've given me during this process and I'm excited about the prospect of joining the team.”\\n2-4. Include your expected salary and 2-3 sentences and why you deserve it.\\nThe second paragraph should include your expected salary. Make sure to justify the number with a couple of sentences highlighting your education or experience. This will improve the chances of you getting the salary that you want.\\nYour second paragraph can be something like, “Based on my 5 years of experience, I think that something in between $50,000 and $65,000 would be appropriate.”\\n2-5. Double-check your email for grammatical and spelling errors.\\nDouble or triple check the email before you hit the send button to avoid leaving the wrong impression. Spelling and grammar errors in your email can make you look unprofessional and could hurt your chances to get the job.\\nRun spell and grammar check on emails before you send them to avoid mistakes.\\nEven though the email is short, it's important that everything is clear and correct.\\n3. Improving Your Chances of Getting an Offer\\n3-1. Provide a salary range that satisfies you instead of a concrete number.\\nIf you're unsure of what the employer is willing to pay or what you want to ask for, you can give them a range. Use your research and find the lowest and highest paid people with similar experience in your particular position to create that range.\\nGiving a range will show them that you're flexible and may benefit you during salary negotiations.\\n3-2. Say that the salary is negotiable based on benefits.\\nBenefits can save you a lot of money so it's important that you take them into consideration when answering the expected salary question. On the flip side, the job may offer no benefits. In this case, it's okay to ask for a little more than the market average to make up for the lack of benefits.\\nYou can write something in the email like, “Negotiable based on the benefits package.”\\nFor instance, if the position offers health benefits that would normally cost you $2,000 per year, you'll need to calculate that into your expected salary.\\n3-3. Let them know that you are flexible with the salary.\\nTell the employer that you're flexible, especially if you really want the job. This may keep you in the running and could come in handy during salary negotiations later.\\nYou can write something like, “I'm highly flexible with my salary and would love the opportunity to join the team.”\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you've been asked to respond to an email with your expected salary, it's important that you do the proper research before you respond. First, you should calculate your yearly costs so you have an idea of what you need to make. Then, you need to figure out the average salary in your industry and area so that you can give a reasonable response. If you take your time and cover your bases, you can get the salary you want and improve your chances of getting the job.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determining How Much You Need to Make\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Calculate your living expenses.\", \"描述\": \"Figure out the minimum that you need to make in order to cover your monthly costs, then multiply it by 12 to get the minimum that you need to make each year. It may help to create a spreadsheet that lists your costs while you're calculating them. These costs can include things like rent, bills, and extra spending money. You'll also want to consider taxes when calculating your income and expenses.\\nTo figure out your net pay, deduct the taxes you have to pay from your total pay.\\nRemember to include quarterly or yearly bills that you need to pay as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Research how much others make in the same position.\", \"描述\": \"Search sites like Glassdoor, Indeed, and the Bureau of Labor Statistics to find salaries for your particular job. This will give you a better idea of what you should be making in the position and can help you set a number for your salary expectations.\\nYou can sometimes find past salaries at the specific company you are applying to on sites like Glassdoor. Knowing this information will inform you how the company is paying employees in similar positions.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Determine the cost of living in your area.\", \"描述\": \"The cost of living in certain cities, states, or countries varies significantly and affects how much people get paid in the area. Websites like Glassdoor, Salary.com, and Payscale.com have local employment statistics so that you can see what people are generally earning near you. Use these websites to help narrow down your salary expectations.\\nFor instance, if you live in New York City, the cost of living, and thus the salaries, will be much higher than if you lived in Raleigh, North Carolina.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be honest with your salary expectations.\", \"描述\": \"Don't ask for more than you think you're worth just because you want more money. On the flip-side, you should also not low-ball the number or you may end up getting paid poorly in your new position. Be as honest and upfront as you can with yourself and your potential employer when responding to expected salary questions.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Writing the Email\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Provide a simple and concise subject line.\", \"描述\": \"The subject line should be short and to the point. You should add some identifier so that the person can easily find the email when they search for it.\\nFor instance, the subject line could be something like, “Garrett Anthony - Expected salary information.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use the same tone as previous correspondence.\", \"描述\": \"If your correspondence with the employer has been formal thus far, keep it that way in your email. If you've been communicating on a more informal basis, a “Hello,” followed by the first name will probably suffice in the intro.\\nUse salutations like \\\"Mr.,\\\" \\\"Ms.,\\\" and \\\"Mrs.\\\" if you've used them throughout the hiring process.\\nFor formal communications, you may want to start the letter with something like, “Dear Mr. Smith.” For more informal jobs, a “Hello John” or “Hi John,” should suffice.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Write a short 2-3 sentences thanking them for the opportunity.\", \"描述\": \"A small thank you paragraph will let them know that you're still interested in the position. This is also a great way to segue into the more serious conversation of salary and benefits.\\nThe first paragraph can be something like, “Thanks so much for the opportunity! I appreciate the time that you've given me during this process and I'm excited about the prospect of joining the team.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Include your expected salary and 2-3 sentences and why you deserve it.\", \"描述\": \"The second paragraph should include your expected salary. Make sure to justify the number with a couple of sentences highlighting your education or experience. This will improve the chances of you getting the salary that you want.\\nYour second paragraph can be something like, “Based on my 5 years of experience, I think that something in between $50,000 and $65,000 would be appropriate.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Double-check your email for grammatical and spelling errors.\", \"描述\": \"Double or triple check the email before you hit the send button to avoid leaving the wrong impression. Spelling and grammar errors in your email can make you look unprofessional and could hurt your chances to get the job.\\nRun spell and grammar check on emails before you send them to avoid mistakes.\\nEven though the email is short, it's important that everything is clear and correct.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Improving Your Chances of Getting an Offer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Provide a salary range that satisfies you instead of a concrete number.\", \"描述\": \"If you're unsure of what the employer is willing to pay or what you want to ask for, you can give them a range. Use your research and find the lowest and highest paid people with similar experience in your particular position to create that range.\\nGiving a range will show them that you're flexible and may benefit you during salary negotiations.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Say that the salary is negotiable based on benefits.\", \"描述\": \"Benefits can save you a lot of money so it's important that you take them into consideration when answering the expected salary question. On the flip side, the job may offer no benefits. In this case, it's okay to ask for a little more than the market average to make up for the lack of benefits.\\nYou can write something in the email like, “Negotiable based on the benefits package.”\\nFor instance, if the position offers health benefits that would normally cost you $2,000 per year, you'll need to calculate that into your expected salary.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Let them know that you are flexible with the salary.\", \"描述\": \"Tell the employer that you're flexible, especially if you really want the job. This may keep you in the running and could come in handy during salary negotiations later.\\nYou can write something like, “I'm highly flexible with my salary and would love the opportunity to join the team.”\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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1,732 | How to Answer a Facetime Call with Audio Only on iPhone & iPad | 1. Answering FaceTime with Audio Only
1-1. Update your iPhone or iPad.
Older versions of FaceTime didn't allow you to answer video calls without video. If you're using iOS 15 or later, you can turn off your camera before you answer a FaceTime call. Update your iPhone or iPad to make sure you have the latest version of FaceTime on your device.
1-2. Tap the name of the person who's calling.
When you receive a FaceTime call, you will receive a notification at the top of the screen that displays who is calling as well as the option to take the call or reject the call. Instead of accepting or rejecting the call, simply tap the person's name to open FaceTime. Alternatively, you can tap the FaceTime icon on your Home screen to open FaceTime. If your camera is on, you will see your face on the screen.
1-3. Tap the Camera icon.
If you are using an iPhone, it will be in the button panel that appears at the top of the screen. If you are using an iPad, it will appear in the lower-left corner. It's the fourth button in the panel. This turns off your camera.
1-4. Tap Join.
It's the green button above the button panel. This answers the FaceTime call with your camera turned off. You will be able to see the caller's face, but they won't be able to see you.
2. Disabling the Camera During a Video Call
2-1. Answer a FaceTime call.
When you receive a FaceTime call, a notification will appear on your iPhone or iPad screen.
If you are using the latest version of FaceTime, tap the green icon that resembles a video camera. Then tap to accept the call.
If you are using an older version of FaceTime, tap to accept the call.
If you are not yet ready to be seen on camera, you can cover the front-facing camera on your iPhone or iPad with your thumb or a piece of tape.
2-2. Tap the camera icon to disable the camera.
If you are using the latest version of FaceTime, it will be the fourth button in the panel at the top of the screen on iPhone, or the lower-left corner on iPad.
If you are using an older version of FaceTime, it will be the icon that resembles a camera with a line through it at the bottom of the screen.
If you do not see the panel with the camera icon in it, swipe up from the bottom of the screen to display the menu.
3. Returning a Call with Audio Only (Older Versions)
3-1. Reject the video call.
If you are using an older version of FaceTime, you may not be able to answer a FaceTime call with audio only. Instead, you can reject the video call and then immediately call the person back with audio only. Press the red button with an "X" in the notification to reject the person's call.
3-2. Open FaceTime.
It has a green icon that resembles a video camera. Tap the FaceTime icon on your Home screen to open FaceTime.
3-3. Tap the Video tab.
It's the first tab at the top of the screen. This displays a log of all the video calls you have received.
3-4. Tap and hold the name of the person who called.
When you open FaceTime, you should see a call log of people who have called. The person who just called should be listed at the top. Tap and hold their name to display a menu.
Alternatively, you can enter their name or email address in the search bar at the top. Then tap the icon that resembles a phone receiver next to their name.
3-5. Tap FaceTime Audio.
It should be the first option at the top of the menu. This places a FaceTime audio-only call to the person who just called you.
You can also place a FaceTime video or audio call to anyone using the Contacts app or from within the Messages app.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:01",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Answering FaceTime with Audio Only\\n1-1. Update your iPhone or iPad.\\nOlder versions of FaceTime didn't allow you to answer video calls without video. If you're using iOS 15 or later, you can turn off your camera before you answer a FaceTime call. Update your iPhone or iPad to make sure you have the latest version of FaceTime on your device.\\n1-2. Tap the name of the person who's calling.\\nWhen you receive a FaceTime call, you will receive a notification at the top of the screen that displays who is calling as well as the option to take the call or reject the call. Instead of accepting or rejecting the call, simply tap the person's name to open FaceTime. Alternatively, you can tap the FaceTime icon on your Home screen to open FaceTime. If your camera is on, you will see your face on the screen.\\n1-3. Tap the Camera icon.\\nIf you are using an iPhone, it will be in the button panel that appears at the top of the screen. If you are using an iPad, it will appear in the lower-left corner. It's the fourth button in the panel. This turns off your camera.\\n1-4. Tap Join.\\nIt's the green button above the button panel. This answers the FaceTime call with your camera turned off. You will be able to see the caller's face, but they won't be able to see you.\\n2. Disabling the Camera During a Video Call\\n2-1. Answer a FaceTime call.\\nWhen you receive a FaceTime call, a notification will appear on your iPhone or iPad screen.\\nIf you are using the latest version of FaceTime, tap the green icon that resembles a video camera. Then tap to accept the call.\\nIf you are using an older version of FaceTime, tap to accept the call.\\nIf you are not yet ready to be seen on camera, you can cover the front-facing camera on your iPhone or iPad with your thumb or a piece of tape.\\n2-2. Tap the camera icon to disable the camera.\\nIf you are using the latest version of FaceTime, it will be the fourth button in the panel at the top of the screen on iPhone, or the lower-left corner on iPad.\\nIf you are using an older version of FaceTime, it will be the icon that resembles a camera with a line through it at the bottom of the screen.\\nIf you do not see the panel with the camera icon in it, swipe up from the bottom of the screen to display the menu.\\n3. Returning a Call with Audio Only (Older Versions)\\n3-1. Reject the video call.\\nIf you are using an older version of FaceTime, you may not be able to answer a FaceTime call with audio only. Instead, you can reject the video call and then immediately call the person back with audio only. Press the red button with an \\\"X\\\" in the notification to reject the person's call.\\n3-2. Open FaceTime.\\nIt has a green icon that resembles a video camera. Tap the FaceTime icon on your Home screen to open FaceTime.\\n3-3. Tap the Video tab.\\nIt's the first tab at the top of the screen. This displays a log of all the video calls you have received.\\n3-4. Tap and hold the name of the person who called.\\nWhen you open FaceTime, you should see a call log of people who have called. The person who just called should be listed at the top. Tap and hold their name to display a menu.\\nAlternatively, you can enter their name or email address in the search bar at the top. Then tap the icon that resembles a phone receiver next to their name.\\n3-5. Tap FaceTime Audio.\\nIt should be the first option at the top of the menu. This places a FaceTime audio-only call to the person who just called you.\\nYou can also place a FaceTime video or audio call to anyone using the Contacts app or from within the Messages app.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Have you ever received a FaceTime video call, but you didn't quite feel \\\"camera ready?\\\" FaceTime is great because it allows you to make video calls to your friends and family. You can see their faces, even if they are miles away. However, sometimes you're just not presentable when you receive a FaceTime call. Luckily, the latest version of FaceTime allows you to turn off your camera before you answer a call. This wikiHow article teaches you how to answer a FaceTime call without video.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Answering FaceTime with Audio Only\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Update your iPhone or iPad.\", \"描述\": \"Older versions of FaceTime didn't allow you to answer video calls without video. If you're using iOS 15 or later, you can turn off your camera before you answer a FaceTime call. Update your iPhone or iPad to make sure you have the latest version of FaceTime on your device.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tap the name of the person who's calling.\", \"描述\": \"When you receive a FaceTime call, you will receive a notification at the top of the screen that displays who is calling as well as the option to take the call or reject the call. Instead of accepting or rejecting the call, simply tap the person's name to open FaceTime. Alternatively, you can tap the FaceTime icon on your Home screen to open FaceTime. If your camera is on, you will see your face on the screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tap the Camera icon.\", \"描述\": \"If you are using an iPhone, it will be in the button panel that appears at the top of the screen. If you are using an iPad, it will appear in the lower-left corner. It's the fourth button in the panel. This turns off your camera.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tap Join.\", \"描述\": \"It's the green button above the button panel. This answers the FaceTime call with your camera turned off. You will be able to see the caller's face, but they won't be able to see you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Disabling the Camera During a Video Call\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Answer a FaceTime call.\", \"描述\": \"When you receive a FaceTime call, a notification will appear on your iPhone or iPad screen.\\nIf you are using the latest version of FaceTime, tap the green icon that resembles a video camera. Then tap to accept the call.\\nIf you are using an older version of FaceTime, tap to accept the call.\\nIf you are not yet ready to be seen on camera, you can cover the front-facing camera on your iPhone or iPad with your thumb or a piece of tape.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tap the camera icon to disable the camera.\", \"描述\": \"If you are using the latest version of FaceTime, it will be the fourth button in the panel at the top of the screen on iPhone, or the lower-left corner on iPad.\\nIf you are using an older version of FaceTime, it will be the icon that resembles a camera with a line through it at the bottom of the screen.\\nIf you do not see the panel with the camera icon in it, swipe up from the bottom of the screen to display the menu.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Returning a Call with Audio Only (Older Versions)\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Reject the video call.\", \"描述\": \"If you are using an older version of FaceTime, you may not be able to answer a FaceTime call with audio only. Instead, you can reject the video call and then immediately call the person back with audio only. Press the red button with an \\\"X\\\" in the notification to reject the person's call.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Open FaceTime.\", \"描述\": \"It has a green icon that resembles a video camera. Tap the FaceTime icon on your Home screen to open FaceTime.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tap the Video tab.\", \"描述\": \"It's the first tab at the top of the screen. This displays a log of all the video calls you have received.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tap and hold the name of the person who called.\", \"描述\": \"When you open FaceTime, you should see a call log of people who have called. The person who just called should be listed at the top. Tap and hold their name to display a menu.\\nAlternatively, you can enter their name or email address in the search bar at the top. Then tap the icon that resembles a phone receiver next to their name.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Tap FaceTime Audio.\", \"描述\": \"It should be the first option at the top of the menu. This places a FaceTime audio-only call to the person who just called you.\\nYou can also place a FaceTime video or audio call to anyone using the Contacts app or from within the Messages app.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,733 | How to Answer Hard Questions on a Test | 1. Short Answer Questions
1-1. Circle keywords in the question.
This will help you focus on the main idea the instructor wants you to recall. Look for any vocabulary words you learned recently in class, and any study terms you recognize.
Some teachers like to reuse test sheets for other classes, especially if you are answering on a scantron. In this case, use pencil.
You don't have to circle the words; you can underline them instead.
1-2. Answer easy questions first.
Quickly go through the test and fill in the blanks that you are sure you know. This will give you confidence, and it will “prime” your brain – you'll be subconsciously working on the answers you skipped over. Then go back and answer the hard questions.
Another reason you want to answer the easy questions first is to get them out of the way. This way, if you run out of time, at least you'll have a bunch of questions answered.
1-3. Supply more than one answer, if you aren't sure.
If you have more than one idea, and you truly can't decide which is more likely to be correct, write them both down. Your teacher may give you partial credit if one of your answers is correct.
This won't always be the case, especially if it is a multiple choice question or a scantron.
1-4. Answer from your teacher's point of view.
If you can't decide between two possible responses to a question, try to think of it from the teacher's point of view. What would they most likely want you to say? What sort of things did they most often emphasize in class lectures?
Imagine the teacher is reviewing the test results in class, later on. Try to picture what your teacher would give as the answer.
Imagine that you are writing the test. What sort of answers would you put as the correct and incorrect ones? This is helpful for multiple choice questions.
1-5. Use the margins.
If you are having difficulty figuring out the answer to a question, or if you have several possibilities in mind, use the margins (or the back) of your exam to work it out. Write down anything that comes to you, and see if this jogs your memory.
Some teachers allow you to bring a scrap sheet of paper to the exam. If your teacher lets you do this, take advantage of it.
1-6. Rephrase the question.
Summarize the question using your own words, to see whether this makes the instructors' point more clear. Be careful not to change the question when you rephrase it.
1-7. Prepare and study with flashcards.
If you know your teacher will be giving you a short answer test, prepare beforehand by making note of any key ideas or terms you find in the text book or reading materials. Always include key points your teacher makes in his or her lectures, especially points that are repeated two or more times.
Write the key word on the front of the flashcard, and a brief description on the back.
Alternatively, write the key terms on the left side of a sheet of paper, and the definitions on the right side. Fold the paper so you can only see the definitions, then try to recall the terms.
1-8. Write as much as you can remember on the back of the test.
Briefly read through the test questions. Then, if you are allowed to write on the back of the test sheet, or on a cover sheet, try to list any information you think might help you during the test.
List any of the terms on your flashcards that often stumped you – get those down, so you don't get stuck on them when they appear on the test.
If you memorized any lists or collections of terms by using mnemonics, quickly write them down.
If you aren't allowed to use the Periodic Table during a chemistry exam, memorize it and sketch it out before you take the test. Then you'll have it to refer to during the test.
Always be sure your teacher is okay with this method, and that it is obvious you didn't bring the paper in with you to class – otherwise, it might look like you're cheating.
2. Essay Questions
2-1. Listen to all the instructions.
Be sure to pay attention when your teacher gives the last minute instructions, in case there is anything different about this test than others you have taken. Also make note of how much time you will have to take the test.
2-2. Read the questions, and ask for clarification.
As the exams are being handed out, quickly skim through the questions to be sure they all make sense to you. If there is anything that isn't clear, ask your professor to explain more fully what he or she is looking for on that question.
Your teacher may not always notice you raising your hand during a test. In this case, you can try going up to them and asking them.
2-3. Estimate time allowed for each question.
If there are multiple essay questions on the exam, count them and divide this number into the total amount of minutes you are allowed to use for the test. This will give you an estimate of how much time you should be spending on each question.
For example: if you have 1 hour to answer 3 essays, spend 15 to 20 minutes on each essay.
2-4. Avoid getting stuck.
If you notice that you are stuck on one particular question, or spending too much time on a really detailed answer, go to the next question. Go back at the end of the test to fill in anything you missed.
If you spend too much time on one question, you may run out of time to answer the rest.
Sometimes if you skip a question and continue to work through the test, you will jog your memory and remember the answer to the earlier question.
2-5. Rephrase the question to begin your answer.
To come up with a thesis statement or central point for your answer, rephrase the question as a statement. This will give you a good starting point for your essay.
Try to include key words from the question in your thesis statement.
2-6. Plan your answer before you begin.
Outline the main points you want to cover, before you begin writing. Include the main terms, dates, names – anything that you can remember – when jotting down your notes. Then include only the most relevant data when writing your answer.
Use scrap paper, or the back of the paper, if you need more space.
2-7. Keep your answer simple and concise.
Stay on point, and try to use clear language to express your ideas. Avoid lengthy introductory or summation passages.
Include your most important points first – don't save them for the conclusion of your essay.
Realize that providing too long of an answer can actually cause you to write too much. It can end up in taking away the focus on the correct answer, causing you to get it wrong, or losing some marks.
2-8. Focus on the parts you are most familiar with.
Spend the most time covering the ideas you are most familiar with, and that you remember the most details about. Answer the question completely, but devote the bulk of your essay answer to the part of the question that you are most confident you understand.
3. Multiple Choice Questions
3-1. Come up with your own answer, before reading the options.
Try to answer the question in your own words if you can, then try to find the answer that most closely matches your idea.
If you focus first on figuring out what the answer is, before looking at the options given, it will force you to where you first heard this information.
This process helps to improve your concentration, and will exercise your memory.
3-2. Answer questions in order, but skip any that you get stuck on.
The answers on an exam often follow the same order you learned the material in class, or in the same order it was presented in the textbook. Answering them in order may help give you clues as to what the right answer might be. But don't waste a lot of time on a difficult question and become frustrated, as this may affect your performance on the rest of the test.
If you are really stuck on a question, make your best guess and put a question mark next to it (online tests may allow you to flag questions). If you finish the test with time to spare, go back and reconsider the ones you marked.
If you do not want to guess, skip the question and put a mark beside it, so you can return to it if you have time at the end of the test.
3-3. Find out whether you will be penalized for guessing.
On most tests, you are not penalized for guessing. It's better to risk getting a question right, and possibly get it wrong, than to leave it completely blank, and definitely get it wrong. However, be aware that there are certain tests where you are penalized for guessing. If you aren't sure, ask your teacher or exam coordinator before you begin the test.
The SAT will penalize you for guessing. This was changed in 2016. Prior, 1/4 points were deducted point for every incorrect answer – you were not penalized for answers left blank.
The ACT does not penalize for guessing. It's better to answer every single question, if you can, and hope that some of your guesses are correct.
The GRE does not penalize for wrong answers. Skip answers when you are stuck, but try to get back to them if you can – it's best to answer every question you can, within the allotted time frame.
3-4. Forget about always sticking to your first choice.
Many people say that your first guess on a test question is usually right, so you should never change your answer. However, recent studies have shown that isn't the case – you're just as likely, or even more likely, to get it right if you change an answer you aren't sure about. So don't stress over whether to change an answer because it wasn't your first choice. If you change your mind, change your answer.
Empirical evidence from data collected from takers of the GRE test shows that test-takers who changed some of their answers tended to score higher than those who always stuck with their first choice.
Test takers in the GRE study most often changed answers from wrong to right, which resulted in a higher score.
3-5. Ask yourself if the answer is complete.
When you are considering an answer that you aren't sure is correct, ask yourself if it completely answers the question.
If the answer is only partly true, or applies to only one part of the question, it is probably not the one to choose.
If the answer is only true under certain conditions, it is probably not the right one. If a question asks about a specific behavior of an elephant, but the answer would only be correct for an elephant in captivity, it doesn't exactly answer the question.
If an answer is incomplete, or is not correct under every circumstance, eliminate that option. This will leave you with fewer options to choose from, which will increase the odds that you will select the correct answer.
If you find an answer that looks “almost” complete, see if there is another option that is very similar to that answer, but is complete. This may be the correct choice.
3-6. Think twice if you suspect a trick question.
Teachers very rarely put trick questions on their tests. If you think the question might be a trick, read it over again very carefully. You might have misunderstood the point of the question, or you might be trying to make the question more complicated than it really is.
If there is a simple answer that solves the question, that is probably the correct choice. For example, if the question is “What does 0 times 0 equal?,” don't over-analyze it. It's not a trick question – the answer is 0.
If a history tests asks, “What was the name of Martin Luther King, Jr.'s father?,” it's not a trick. The answer is Martin Luther King, Sr.
3-7. Visualize each answer as being correct.
If there are two answers you like equally, visualize the first one as being the right answer. Then try the second option, and imagine in your mind that this answer is the correct one. You will probably have a “gut feeling” that one of the answers is wrong. Then choose the other one.
We sometimes have a strong feeling about something, without remembering specific details about it. For instance, we can remember if we liked or disliked somebody we recently met, even if we can't remember their name.
3-8. Look for exact opposites.
If two of the choices are exact opposites of the other, one of these is likely to be the right answer.
If two answers on a math test are a) 7, and b) -7; one of these is likely to be correct.
For example, a question on a history exam asks about the impact of the Voting Rights Act of 1965, and two of the answers are: a) It allowed more citizens to vote, and b) It increased voting restrictions. These express exactly opposing ideas, and in this case “A” is the correct answer.
3-9. Reject absolutes.
If an answer insists on an absolute, it is usually not the correct answer. Avoid answers that include the words never, always, all, every, and must. (Math tests are the exception to this one.)
Answers that do not contain absolutes are more likely to be correct. For example, correct answers often contain these words or phrases: generally, probably, most likely, seldom, tend to, and usually.
3-10. Look for grammatical clues.
Be on the lookout for grammatical matches between the question and the answers. The correct answer to a question will most likely match in tense and number, and the nouns and verbs will agree.
For example, if the question asks, “What IS the most endangered species in the world?,” you can eliminate “The Amur leopard and the Javan rhinoceros ARE the most endangered species,” because the question is phrased in the singular. (In this case, the answer would be, “The Ivory-billed woodpecker IS the most endangered species.)
3-11. Pay special attention to specific phrases or unusual words that you remember reading in the textbook.
Questions for tests are usually based on the information in your textbook, and teachers often use the same words and phrases the book does.
Underline any answer that contains specific phrases from the lecture or textbook, and consider those answers more seriously than the others.
3-12. Eliminate answers that are extremes.
Often, there will be one answer that is obviously too large, and one that is clearly too small; or a date that is way too early or far too recent. You can toss these out, and choose between the remaining answers.
For example, if a question on your history test reads, “What year was John F. Kennedy assassinated?,” you can ignore “1863” and “2003,” because those are clearly outside the correct timeframe. Then choose between the remaining options (in this case, the answer would be 1963).
If a math question reads, “What does 4 squared equal?,” you could easily eliminate “2” as being too small, and “200” as being too large. Then choose from the remaining answers (in this case, 16).
3-13. Consider “None of the above” and “All of the above.”
These choices are the exception to the rule about absolutes, as they may actually be the correct choice as much as 52% of the times they appear.
3-14. Try choosing the longest answer.
Often, the choice that contains the most words is correct, because the teacher needs to include a large number of qualifiers to ensure that the answer can't be contested. The teacher may not take the time to phrase incorrect answers in quite such specific terms.
For example, imagine a driving test with this question: “If you want to turn right, you should be in:” The answers given are: a) The left lane, b) The lane that's nearest the direction you want to turn, c) the right lane, d) the center lane. The test maker has been most careful in phrasing (correct) option b, to make sure that this answer can't be disputed.
Qualifying phrases might include over a period of time, in rare cases, orwithin a small segment of the population.
At the same time, sometimes longer answers can be a trick to try to get you to pick the more elaborate sounding suggestion. Use your best judgment and realize that this strategy isn't a sure thing.
4. True/False Questions
4-1. Choose “True” answers over “False.
If you can't decide, mark the answer “True.” Teachers usually find it difficult to make a false statement sound like it's true. Therefore, there are usually more “True” answers on a test than “False” ones.
4-2. Examine every part of an answer that includes a reason.
Answers that are phrased to include a reason are often false. The first part of the answer might be true, but then the teacher will add a modifier that is incorrect or incomplete. This makes the entire statement false.
Look for words like because, if, since, and when.
For example, consider this statement: “Thomas Edison is considered a brilliant visionary because he invented the electric lightbulb.” Thomas Edison invented many things, but he didn't invent the lightbulb; he invented a longer lasting, incandescent version of the lightbulb.
4-3. Be wary of answers containing extreme modifiers.
Statements that contain words like always, never, everyone, no one, absolutely, best, worst, invariably, all, and only are usually false.
4-4. Favor answers that use qualifying words.
Statements containing words and phrases such as usually, sometimes, may apply, probably, some, a majority of, and seldom are more likely to be true than false.
4-5. Look out for double negatives, and negative prefixes.
Read through the statements very carefully, paying attention to words that employ a negative prefix – for example, inability, unpopular, and insignificant. Misreading these words will completely change the meaning of the statement. A statement that describes something as not uncommon is actually saying the event is common.
5. Reading Comprehension Questions
5-1. Look at the first and last sentences, for the main idea.
If you are asked to identify the author's “purpose,” “intent” or “main idea,” try looking closely at the first sentences and the last sentences. If they seem to closely relate to each other, this is a good indication of the main idea the writer was trying to get across.
Main idea questions usually contain words and phrases, such as emphasizes, focuses on, is primarily concerned with, or the essence.
5-2. Take notes to find the main idea.
Note key words as you read, and pay attention to words or concepts that are mentioned more than once, or in great detail.
Also look for words like although, but, except, unless, and yet, because these words highlight a key idea that the author believed needed to be qualified or clarified.
A good strategy to help with questions like these is to note down 1-3 words summarizing the main idea of each paragraph in the margins as you read. Then, when you answer a question on the main idea, you can refer to these notes instead of doing a lot of re-reading.
5-3. Eliminate answers that are too broad or too narrow in scope.
Certain answers you can rule out right away, and then focus on the remaining choices.
The answer is too broad in scope, or too narrow, to fit the passage. For example, if the reading concerns college students in France, an answer describing all the people of France is too broad. An answer that only pertains to female college students in France would be too narrow.
5-4. Eliminate answers that contradict a statement in the reading.
If an answer says something that is clearly different from something the author said in the passage, you can rule that one out right away.
5-5. Eliminate answers that aren't supported by the writing.
If there are facts specified in the answer that are not included in the written passage, you can rule out this answer as well.
5-6. Look for synonyms, when asked for a specific detail.
If an answer contains a word that has the same meaning as a main idea in the text, focus on that answer first to see whether it is supported by the reading.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:01",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Short Answer Questions\\n1-1. Circle keywords in the question.\\nThis will help you focus on the main idea the instructor wants you to recall. Look for any vocabulary words you learned recently in class, and any study terms you recognize.\\nSome teachers like to reuse test sheets for other classes, especially if you are answering on a scantron. In this case, use pencil.\\nYou don't have to circle the words; you can underline them instead.\\n1-2. Answer easy questions first.\\nQuickly go through the test and fill in the blanks that you are sure you know. This will give you confidence, and it will “prime” your brain – you'll be subconsciously working on the answers you skipped over. Then go back and answer the hard questions.\\nAnother reason you want to answer the easy questions first is to get them out of the way. This way, if you run out of time, at least you'll have a bunch of questions answered.\\n1-3. Supply more than one answer, if you aren't sure.\\nIf you have more than one idea, and you truly can't decide which is more likely to be correct, write them both down. Your teacher may give you partial credit if one of your answers is correct.\\nThis won't always be the case, especially if it is a multiple choice question or a scantron.\\n1-4. Answer from your teacher's point of view.\\nIf you can't decide between two possible responses to a question, try to think of it from the teacher's point of view. What would they most likely want you to say? What sort of things did they most often emphasize in class lectures? \\nImagine the teacher is reviewing the test results in class, later on. Try to picture what your teacher would give as the answer.\\nImagine that you are writing the test. What sort of answers would you put as the correct and incorrect ones? This is helpful for multiple choice questions.\\n1-5. Use the margins.\\nIf you are having difficulty figuring out the answer to a question, or if you have several possibilities in mind, use the margins (or the back) of your exam to work it out. Write down anything that comes to you, and see if this jogs your memory.\\nSome teachers allow you to bring a scrap sheet of paper to the exam. If your teacher lets you do this, take advantage of it.\\n1-6. Rephrase the question.\\nSummarize the question using your own words, to see whether this makes the instructors' point more clear. Be careful not to change the question when you rephrase it.\\n1-7. Prepare and study with flashcards.\\nIf you know your teacher will be giving you a short answer test, prepare beforehand by making note of any key ideas or terms you find in the text book or reading materials. Always include key points your teacher makes in his or her lectures, especially points that are repeated two or more times.\\nWrite the key word on the front of the flashcard, and a brief description on the back.\\nAlternatively, write the key terms on the left side of a sheet of paper, and the definitions on the right side. Fold the paper so you can only see the definitions, then try to recall the terms.\\n1-8. Write as much as you can remember on the back of the test.\\nBriefly read through the test questions. Then, if you are allowed to write on the back of the test sheet, or on a cover sheet, try to list any information you think might help you during the test. \\nList any of the terms on your flashcards that often stumped you – get those down, so you don't get stuck on them when they appear on the test.\\nIf you memorized any lists or collections of terms by using mnemonics, quickly write them down.\\nIf you aren't allowed to use the Periodic Table during a chemistry exam, memorize it and sketch it out before you take the test. Then you'll have it to refer to during the test.\\nAlways be sure your teacher is okay with this method, and that it is obvious you didn't bring the paper in with you to class – otherwise, it might look like you're cheating.\\n2. Essay Questions\\n2-1. Listen to all the instructions.\\nBe sure to pay attention when your teacher gives the last minute instructions, in case there is anything different about this test than others you have taken. Also make note of how much time you will have to take the test.\\n2-2. Read the questions, and ask for clarification.\\nAs the exams are being handed out, quickly skim through the questions to be sure they all make sense to you. If there is anything that isn't clear, ask your professor to explain more fully what he or she is looking for on that question.\\nYour teacher may not always notice you raising your hand during a test. In this case, you can try going up to them and asking them.\\n2-3. Estimate time allowed for each question.\\nIf there are multiple essay questions on the exam, count them and divide this number into the total amount of minutes you are allowed to use for the test. This will give you an estimate of how much time you should be spending on each question. \\nFor example: if you have 1 hour to answer 3 essays, spend 15 to 20 minutes on each essay.\\n2-4. Avoid getting stuck.\\nIf you notice that you are stuck on one particular question, or spending too much time on a really detailed answer, go to the next question. Go back at the end of the test to fill in anything you missed. \\nIf you spend too much time on one question, you may run out of time to answer the rest.\\nSometimes if you skip a question and continue to work through the test, you will jog your memory and remember the answer to the earlier question.\\n2-5. Rephrase the question to begin your answer.\\nTo come up with a thesis statement or central point for your answer, rephrase the question as a statement. This will give you a good starting point for your essay. \\nTry to include key words from the question in your thesis statement.\\n2-6. Plan your answer before you begin.\\nOutline the main points you want to cover, before you begin writing. Include the main terms, dates, names – anything that you can remember – when jotting down your notes. Then include only the most relevant data when writing your answer.\\nUse scrap paper, or the back of the paper, if you need more space.\\n2-7. Keep your answer simple and concise.\\nStay on point, and try to use clear language to express your ideas. Avoid lengthy introductory or summation passages. \\nInclude your most important points first – don't save them for the conclusion of your essay.\\nRealize that providing too long of an answer can actually cause you to write too much. It can end up in taking away the focus on the correct answer, causing you to get it wrong, or losing some marks.\\n2-8. Focus on the parts you are most familiar with.\\nSpend the most time covering the ideas you are most familiar with, and that you remember the most details about. Answer the question completely, but devote the bulk of your essay answer to the part of the question that you are most confident you understand.\\n3. Multiple Choice Questions\\n3-1. Come up with your own answer, before reading the options.\\nTry to answer the question in your own words if you can, then try to find the answer that most closely matches your idea.\\nIf you focus first on figuring out what the answer is, before looking at the options given, it will force you to where you first heard this information.\\nThis process helps to improve your concentration, and will exercise your memory.\\n3-2. Answer questions in order, but skip any that you get stuck on.\\nThe answers on an exam often follow the same order you learned the material in class, or in the same order it was presented in the textbook. Answering them in order may help give you clues as to what the right answer might be. But don't waste a lot of time on a difficult question and become frustrated, as this may affect your performance on the rest of the test.\\nIf you are really stuck on a question, make your best guess and put a question mark next to it (online tests may allow you to flag questions). If you finish the test with time to spare, go back and reconsider the ones you marked.\\nIf you do not want to guess, skip the question and put a mark beside it, so you can return to it if you have time at the end of the test.\\n3-3. Find out whether you will be penalized for guessing.\\nOn most tests, you are not penalized for guessing. It's better to risk getting a question right, and possibly get it wrong, than to leave it completely blank, and definitely get it wrong. However, be aware that there are certain tests where you are penalized for guessing. If you aren't sure, ask your teacher or exam coordinator before you begin the test.\\nThe SAT will penalize you for guessing. This was changed in 2016. Prior, 1/4 points were deducted point for every incorrect answer – you were not penalized for answers left blank.\\nThe ACT does not penalize for guessing. It's better to answer every single question, if you can, and hope that some of your guesses are correct.\\nThe GRE does not penalize for wrong answers. Skip answers when you are stuck, but try to get back to them if you can – it's best to answer every question you can, within the allotted time frame.\\n3-4. Forget about always sticking to your first choice.\\nMany people say that your first guess on a test question is usually right, so you should never change your answer. However, recent studies have shown that isn't the case – you're just as likely, or even more likely, to get it right if you change an answer you aren't sure about. So don't stress over whether to change an answer because it wasn't your first choice. If you change your mind, change your answer.\\nEmpirical evidence from data collected from takers of the GRE test shows that test-takers who changed some of their answers tended to score higher than those who always stuck with their first choice.\\nTest takers in the GRE study most often changed answers from wrong to right, which resulted in a higher score.\\n3-5. Ask yourself if the answer is complete.\\nWhen you are considering an answer that you aren't sure is correct, ask yourself if it completely answers the question.\\nIf the answer is only partly true, or applies to only one part of the question, it is probably not the one to choose.\\nIf the answer is only true under certain conditions, it is probably not the right one. If a question asks about a specific behavior of an elephant, but the answer would only be correct for an elephant in captivity, it doesn't exactly answer the question.\\nIf an answer is incomplete, or is not correct under every circumstance, eliminate that option. This will leave you with fewer options to choose from, which will increase the odds that you will select the correct answer.\\nIf you find an answer that looks “almost” complete, see if there is another option that is very similar to that answer, but is complete. This may be the correct choice.\\n3-6. Think twice if you suspect a trick question.\\nTeachers very rarely put trick questions on their tests. If you think the question might be a trick, read it over again very carefully. You might have misunderstood the point of the question, or you might be trying to make the question more complicated than it really is.\\nIf there is a simple answer that solves the question, that is probably the correct choice. For example, if the question is “What does 0 times 0 equal?,” don't over-analyze it. It's not a trick question – the answer is 0.\\nIf a history tests asks, “What was the name of Martin Luther King, Jr.'s father?,” it's not a trick. The answer is Martin Luther King, Sr.\\n3-7. Visualize each answer as being correct.\\nIf there are two answers you like equally, visualize the first one as being the right answer. Then try the second option, and imagine in your mind that this answer is the correct one. You will probably have a “gut feeling” that one of the answers is wrong. Then choose the other one.\\nWe sometimes have a strong feeling about something, without remembering specific details about it. For instance, we can remember if we liked or disliked somebody we recently met, even if we can't remember their name.\\n3-8. Look for exact opposites.\\nIf two of the choices are exact opposites of the other, one of these is likely to be the right answer.\\nIf two answers on a math test are a) 7, and b) -7; one of these is likely to be correct.\\nFor example, a question on a history exam asks about the impact of the Voting Rights Act of 1965, and two of the answers are: a) It allowed more citizens to vote, and b) It increased voting restrictions. These express exactly opposing ideas, and in this case “A” is the correct answer.\\n3-9. Reject absolutes.\\nIf an answer insists on an absolute, it is usually not the correct answer. Avoid answers that include the words never, always, all, every, and must. (Math tests are the exception to this one.)\\nAnswers that do not contain absolutes are more likely to be correct. For example, correct answers often contain these words or phrases: generally, probably, most likely, seldom, tend to, and usually.\\n3-10. Look for grammatical clues.\\nBe on the lookout for grammatical matches between the question and the answers. The correct answer to a question will most likely match in tense and number, and the nouns and verbs will agree.\\nFor example, if the question asks, “What IS the most endangered species in the world?,” you can eliminate “The Amur leopard and the Javan rhinoceros ARE the most endangered species,” because the question is phrased in the singular. (In this case, the answer would be, “The Ivory-billed woodpecker IS the most endangered species.)\\n3-11. Pay special attention to specific phrases or unusual words that you remember reading in the textbook.\\nQuestions for tests are usually based on the information in your textbook, and teachers often use the same words and phrases the book does.\\nUnderline any answer that contains specific phrases from the lecture or textbook, and consider those answers more seriously than the others.\\n3-12. Eliminate answers that are extremes.\\nOften, there will be one answer that is obviously too large, and one that is clearly too small; or a date that is way too early or far too recent. You can toss these out, and choose between the remaining answers.\\nFor example, if a question on your history test reads, “What year was John F. Kennedy assassinated?,” you can ignore “1863” and “2003,” because those are clearly outside the correct timeframe. Then choose between the remaining options (in this case, the answer would be 1963).\\nIf a math question reads, “What does 4 squared equal?,” you could easily eliminate “2” as being too small, and “200” as being too large. Then choose from the remaining answers (in this case, 16).\\n3-13. Consider “None of the above” and “All of the above.”\\nThese choices are the exception to the rule about absolutes, as they may actually be the correct choice as much as 52% of the times they appear.\\n3-14. Try choosing the longest answer.\\nOften, the choice that contains the most words is correct, because the teacher needs to include a large number of qualifiers to ensure that the answer can't be contested. The teacher may not take the time to phrase incorrect answers in quite such specific terms.\\nFor example, imagine a driving test with this question: “If you want to turn right, you should be in:” The answers given are: a) The left lane, b) The lane that's nearest the direction you want to turn, c) the right lane, d) the center lane. The test maker has been most careful in phrasing (correct) option b, to make sure that this answer can't be disputed.\\nQualifying phrases might include over a period of time, in rare cases, orwithin a small segment of the population.\\nAt the same time, sometimes longer answers can be a trick to try to get you to pick the more elaborate sounding suggestion. Use your best judgment and realize that this strategy isn't a sure thing.\\n4. True/False Questions\\n4-1. Choose “True” answers over “False.\\nIf you can't decide, mark the answer “True.” Teachers usually find it difficult to make a false statement sound like it's true. Therefore, there are usually more “True” answers on a test than “False” ones.\\n4-2. Examine every part of an answer that includes a reason.\\nAnswers that are phrased to include a reason are often false. The first part of the answer might be true, but then the teacher will add a modifier that is incorrect or incomplete. This makes the entire statement false.\\nLook for words like because, if, since, and when.\\nFor example, consider this statement: “Thomas Edison is considered a brilliant visionary because he invented the electric lightbulb.” Thomas Edison invented many things, but he didn't invent the lightbulb; he invented a longer lasting, incandescent version of the lightbulb.\\n4-3. Be wary of answers containing extreme modifiers.\\nStatements that contain words like always, never, everyone, no one, absolutely, best, worst, invariably, all, and only are usually false.\\n4-4. Favor answers that use qualifying words.\\nStatements containing words and phrases such as usually, sometimes, may apply, probably, some, a majority of, and seldom are more likely to be true than false.\\n4-5. Look out for double negatives, and negative prefixes.\\nRead through the statements very carefully, paying attention to words that employ a negative prefix – for example, inability, unpopular, and insignificant. Misreading these words will completely change the meaning of the statement. A statement that describes something as not uncommon is actually saying the event is common.\\n5. Reading Comprehension Questions\\n5-1. Look at the first and last sentences, for the main idea.\\nIf you are asked to identify the author's “purpose,” “intent” or “main idea,” try looking closely at the first sentences and the last sentences. If they seem to closely relate to each other, this is a good indication of the main idea the writer was trying to get across.\\nMain idea questions usually contain words and phrases, such as emphasizes, focuses on, is primarily concerned with, or the essence.\\n5-2. Take notes to find the main idea.\\nNote key words as you read, and pay attention to words or concepts that are mentioned more than once, or in great detail.\\nAlso look for words like although, but, except, unless, and yet, because these words highlight a key idea that the author believed needed to be qualified or clarified.\\nA good strategy to help with questions like these is to note down 1-3 words summarizing the main idea of each paragraph in the margins as you read. Then, when you answer a question on the main idea, you can refer to these notes instead of doing a lot of re-reading.\\n5-3. Eliminate answers that are too broad or too narrow in scope.\\nCertain answers you can rule out right away, and then focus on the remaining choices.\\nThe answer is too broad in scope, or too narrow, to fit the passage. For example, if the reading concerns college students in France, an answer describing all the people of France is too broad. An answer that only pertains to female college students in France would be too narrow.\\n5-4. Eliminate answers that contradict a statement in the reading.\\nIf an answer says something that is clearly different from something the author said in the passage, you can rule that one out right away.\\n5-5. Eliminate answers that aren't supported by the writing.\\nIf there are facts specified in the answer that are not included in the written passage, you can rule out this answer as well.\\n5-6. Look for synonyms, when asked for a specific detail.\\nIf an answer contains a word that has the same meaning as a main idea in the text, focus on that answer first to see whether it is supported by the reading.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you want to ace a test, the most important things you can do are study the subject thoroughly, get plenty of rest the night before, and try to remain as calm as possible while you're taking the exam. However, no matter how hard you study, there will always be certain questions on an exam that are more difficult than others. When you aren't entirely sure of your answer, there are strategies you can use to improve your chances of choosing correctly.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Short Answer Questions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Circle keywords in the question.\", \"描述\": \"This will help you focus on the main idea the instructor wants you to recall. Look for any vocabulary words you learned recently in class, and any study terms you recognize.\\nSome teachers like to reuse test sheets for other classes, especially if you are answering on a scantron. In this case, use pencil.\\nYou don't have to circle the words; you can underline them instead.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Answer easy questions first.\", \"描述\": \"Quickly go through the test and fill in the blanks that you are sure you know. This will give you confidence, and it will “prime” your brain – you'll be subconsciously working on the answers you skipped over. Then go back and answer the hard questions.\\nAnother reason you want to answer the easy questions first is to get them out of the way. This way, if you run out of time, at least you'll have a bunch of questions answered.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Supply more than one answer, if you aren't sure.\", \"描述\": \"If you have more than one idea, and you truly can't decide which is more likely to be correct, write them both down. Your teacher may give you partial credit if one of your answers is correct.\\nThis won't always be the case, especially if it is a multiple choice question or a scantron.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Answer from your teacher's point of view.\", \"描述\": \"If you can't decide between two possible responses to a question, try to think of it from the teacher's point of view. What would they most likely want you to say? What sort of things did they most often emphasize in class lectures? \\nImagine the teacher is reviewing the test results in class, later on. Try to picture what your teacher would give as the answer.\\nImagine that you are writing the test. What sort of answers would you put as the correct and incorrect ones? This is helpful for multiple choice questions.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use the margins.\", \"描述\": \"If you are having difficulty figuring out the answer to a question, or if you have several possibilities in mind, use the margins (or the back) of your exam to work it out. Write down anything that comes to you, and see if this jogs your memory.\\nSome teachers allow you to bring a scrap sheet of paper to the exam. If your teacher lets you do this, take advantage of it.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Rephrase the question.\", \"描述\": \"Summarize the question using your own words, to see whether this makes the instructors' point more clear. Be careful not to change the question when you rephrase it.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Prepare and study with flashcards.\", \"描述\": \"If you know your teacher will be giving you a short answer test, prepare beforehand by making note of any key ideas or terms you find in the text book or reading materials. Always include key points your teacher makes in his or her lectures, especially points that are repeated two or more times.\\nWrite the key word on the front of the flashcard, and a brief description on the back.\\nAlternatively, write the key terms on the left side of a sheet of paper, and the definitions on the right side. Fold the paper so you can only see the definitions, then try to recall the terms.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Write as much as you can remember on the back of the test.\", \"描述\": \"Briefly read through the test questions. Then, if you are allowed to write on the back of the test sheet, or on a cover sheet, try to list any information you think might help you during the test. \\nList any of the terms on your flashcards that often stumped you – get those down, so you don't get stuck on them when they appear on the test.\\nIf you memorized any lists or collections of terms by using mnemonics, quickly write them down.\\nIf you aren't allowed to use the Periodic Table during a chemistry exam, memorize it and sketch it out before you take the test. Then you'll have it to refer to during the test.\\nAlways be sure your teacher is okay with this method, and that it is obvious you didn't bring the paper in with you to class – otherwise, it might look like you're cheating.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Essay Questions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listen to all the instructions.\", \"描述\": \"Be sure to pay attention when your teacher gives the last minute instructions, in case there is anything different about this test than others you have taken. Also make note of how much time you will have to take the test.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Read the questions, and ask for clarification.\", \"描述\": \"As the exams are being handed out, quickly skim through the questions to be sure they all make sense to you. If there is anything that isn't clear, ask your professor to explain more fully what he or she is looking for on that question.\\nYour teacher may not always notice you raising your hand during a test. In this case, you can try going up to them and asking them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Estimate time allowed for each question.\", \"描述\": \"If there are multiple essay questions on the exam, count them and divide this number into the total amount of minutes you are allowed to use for the test. This will give you an estimate of how much time you should be spending on each question. \\nFor example: if you have 1 hour to answer 3 essays, spend 15 to 20 minutes on each essay.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid getting stuck.\", \"描述\": \"If you notice that you are stuck on one particular question, or spending too much time on a really detailed answer, go to the next question. Go back at the end of the test to fill in anything you missed. \\nIf you spend too much time on one question, you may run out of time to answer the rest.\\nSometimes if you skip a question and continue to work through the test, you will jog your memory and remember the answer to the earlier question.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Rephrase the question to begin your answer.\", \"描述\": \"To come up with a thesis statement or central point for your answer, rephrase the question as a statement. This will give you a good starting point for your essay. \\nTry to include key words from the question in your thesis statement.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Plan your answer before you begin.\", \"描述\": \"Outline the main points you want to cover, before you begin writing. Include the main terms, dates, names – anything that you can remember – when jotting down your notes. Then include only the most relevant data when writing your answer.\\nUse scrap paper, or the back of the paper, if you need more space.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Keep your answer simple and concise.\", \"描述\": \"Stay on point, and try to use clear language to express your ideas. Avoid lengthy introductory or summation passages. \\nInclude your most important points first – don't save them for the conclusion of your essay.\\nRealize that providing too long of an answer can actually cause you to write too much. It can end up in taking away the focus on the correct answer, causing you to get it wrong, or losing some marks.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Focus on the parts you are most familiar with.\", \"描述\": \"Spend the most time covering the ideas you are most familiar with, and that you remember the most details about. Answer the question completely, but devote the bulk of your essay answer to the part of the question that you are most confident you understand.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Multiple Choice Questions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Come up with your own answer, before reading the options.\", \"描述\": \"Try to answer the question in your own words if you can, then try to find the answer that most closely matches your idea.\\nIf you focus first on figuring out what the answer is, before looking at the options given, it will force you to where you first heard this information.\\nThis process helps to improve your concentration, and will exercise your memory.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Answer questions in order, but skip any that you get stuck on.\", \"描述\": \"The answers on an exam often follow the same order you learned the material in class, or in the same order it was presented in the textbook. Answering them in order may help give you clues as to what the right answer might be. But don't waste a lot of time on a difficult question and become frustrated, as this may affect your performance on the rest of the test.\\nIf you are really stuck on a question, make your best guess and put a question mark next to it (online tests may allow you to flag questions). If you finish the test with time to spare, go back and reconsider the ones you marked.\\nIf you do not want to guess, skip the question and put a mark beside it, so you can return to it if you have time at the end of the test.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find out whether you will be penalized for guessing.\", \"描述\": \"On most tests, you are not penalized for guessing. It's better to risk getting a question right, and possibly get it wrong, than to leave it completely blank, and definitely get it wrong. However, be aware that there are certain tests where you are penalized for guessing. If you aren't sure, ask your teacher or exam coordinator before you begin the test.\\nThe SAT will penalize you for guessing. This was changed in 2016. Prior, 1/4 points were deducted point for every incorrect answer – you were not penalized for answers left blank.\\nThe ACT does not penalize for guessing. It's better to answer every single question, if you can, and hope that some of your guesses are correct.\\nThe GRE does not penalize for wrong answers. Skip answers when you are stuck, but try to get back to them if you can – it's best to answer every question you can, within the allotted time frame.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Forget about always sticking to your first choice.\", \"描述\": \"Many people say that your first guess on a test question is usually right, so you should never change your answer. However, recent studies have shown that isn't the case – you're just as likely, or even more likely, to get it right if you change an answer you aren't sure about. So don't stress over whether to change an answer because it wasn't your first choice. If you change your mind, change your answer.\\nEmpirical evidence from data collected from takers of the GRE test shows that test-takers who changed some of their answers tended to score higher than those who always stuck with their first choice.\\nTest takers in the GRE study most often changed answers from wrong to right, which resulted in a higher score.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask yourself if the answer is complete.\", \"描述\": \"When you are considering an answer that you aren't sure is correct, ask yourself if it completely answers the question.\\nIf the answer is only partly true, or applies to only one part of the question, it is probably not the one to choose.\\nIf the answer is only true under certain conditions, it is probably not the right one. If a question asks about a specific behavior of an elephant, but the answer would only be correct for an elephant in captivity, it doesn't exactly answer the question.\\nIf an answer is incomplete, or is not correct under every circumstance, eliminate that option. This will leave you with fewer options to choose from, which will increase the odds that you will select the correct answer.\\nIf you find an answer that looks “almost” complete, see if there is another option that is very similar to that answer, but is complete. This may be the correct choice.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Think twice if you suspect a trick question.\", \"描述\": \"Teachers very rarely put trick questions on their tests. If you think the question might be a trick, read it over again very carefully. You might have misunderstood the point of the question, or you might be trying to make the question more complicated than it really is.\\nIf there is a simple answer that solves the question, that is probably the correct choice. For example, if the question is “What does 0 times 0 equal?,” don't over-analyze it. It's not a trick question – the answer is 0.\\nIf a history tests asks, “What was the name of Martin Luther King, Jr.'s father?,” it's not a trick. The answer is Martin Luther King, Sr.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Visualize each answer as being correct.\", \"描述\": \"If there are two answers you like equally, visualize the first one as being the right answer. Then try the second option, and imagine in your mind that this answer is the correct one. You will probably have a “gut feeling” that one of the answers is wrong. Then choose the other one.\\nWe sometimes have a strong feeling about something, without remembering specific details about it. For instance, we can remember if we liked or disliked somebody we recently met, even if we can't remember their name.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Look for exact opposites.\", \"描述\": \"If two of the choices are exact opposites of the other, one of these is likely to be the right answer.\\nIf two answers on a math test are a) 7, and b) -7; one of these is likely to be correct.\\nFor example, a question on a history exam asks about the impact of the Voting Rights Act of 1965, and two of the answers are: a) It allowed more citizens to vote, and b) It increased voting restrictions. These express exactly opposing ideas, and in this case “A” is the correct answer.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Reject absolutes.\", \"描述\": \"If an answer insists on an absolute, it is usually not the correct answer. Avoid answers that include the words never, always, all, every, and must. (Math tests are the exception to this one.)\\nAnswers that do not contain absolutes are more likely to be correct. For example, correct answers often contain these words or phrases: generally, probably, most likely, seldom, tend to, and usually.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Look for grammatical clues.\", \"描述\": \"Be on the lookout for grammatical matches between the question and the answers. The correct answer to a question will most likely match in tense and number, and the nouns and verbs will agree.\\nFor example, if the question asks, “What IS the most endangered species in the world?,” you can eliminate “The Amur leopard and the Javan rhinoceros ARE the most endangered species,” because the question is phrased in the singular. (In this case, the answer would be, “The Ivory-billed woodpecker IS the most endangered species.)\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Pay special attention to specific phrases or unusual words that you remember reading in the textbook.\", \"描述\": \"Questions for tests are usually based on the information in your textbook, and teachers often use the same words and phrases the book does.\\nUnderline any answer that contains specific phrases from the lecture or textbook, and consider those answers more seriously than the others.\"}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Eliminate answers that are extremes.\", \"描述\": \"Often, there will be one answer that is obviously too large, and one that is clearly too small; or a date that is way too early or far too recent. You can toss these out, and choose between the remaining answers.\\nFor example, if a question on your history test reads, “What year was John F. Kennedy assassinated?,” you can ignore “1863” and “2003,” because those are clearly outside the correct timeframe. Then choose between the remaining options (in this case, the answer would be 1963).\\nIf a math question reads, “What does 4 squared equal?,” you could easily eliminate “2” as being too small, and “200” as being too large. Then choose from the remaining answers (in this case, 16).\"}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Consider “None of the above” and “All of the above.”\", \"描述\": \"These choices are the exception to the rule about absolutes, as they may actually be the correct choice as much as 52% of the times they appear.\"}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Try choosing the longest answer.\", \"描述\": \"Often, the choice that contains the most words is correct, because the teacher needs to include a large number of qualifiers to ensure that the answer can't be contested. The teacher may not take the time to phrase incorrect answers in quite such specific terms.\\nFor example, imagine a driving test with this question: “If you want to turn right, you should be in:” The answers given are: a) The left lane, b) The lane that's nearest the direction you want to turn, c) the right lane, d) the center lane. The test maker has been most careful in phrasing (correct) option b, to make sure that this answer can't be disputed.\\nQualifying phrases might include over a period of time, in rare cases, orwithin a small segment of the population.\\nAt the same time, sometimes longer answers can be a trick to try to get you to pick the more elaborate sounding suggestion. Use your best judgment and realize that this strategy isn't a sure thing.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"True/False Questions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose “True” answers over “False.\", \"描述\": \"If you can't decide, mark the answer “True.” Teachers usually find it difficult to make a false statement sound like it's true. Therefore, there are usually more “True” answers on a test than “False” ones.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Examine every part of an answer that includes a reason.\", \"描述\": \"Answers that are phrased to include a reason are often false. The first part of the answer might be true, but then the teacher will add a modifier that is incorrect or incomplete. This makes the entire statement false.\\nLook for words like because, if, since, and when.\\nFor example, consider this statement: “Thomas Edison is considered a brilliant visionary because he invented the electric lightbulb.” Thomas Edison invented many things, but he didn't invent the lightbulb; he invented a longer lasting, incandescent version of the lightbulb.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be wary of answers containing extreme modifiers.\", \"描述\": \"Statements that contain words like always, never, everyone, no one, absolutely, best, worst, invariably, all, and only are usually false.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Favor answers that use qualifying words.\", \"描述\": \"Statements containing words and phrases such as usually, sometimes, may apply, probably, some, a majority of, and seldom are more likely to be true than false.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Look out for double negatives, and negative prefixes.\", \"描述\": \"Read through the statements very carefully, paying attention to words that employ a negative prefix – for example, inability, unpopular, and insignificant. Misreading these words will completely change the meaning of the statement. A statement that describes something as not uncommon is actually saying the event is common.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Reading Comprehension Questions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look at the first and last sentences, for the main idea.\", \"描述\": \"If you are asked to identify the author's “purpose,” “intent” or “main idea,” try looking closely at the first sentences and the last sentences. If they seem to closely relate to each other, this is a good indication of the main idea the writer was trying to get across.\\nMain idea questions usually contain words and phrases, such as emphasizes, focuses on, is primarily concerned with, or the essence.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take notes to find the main idea.\", \"描述\": \"Note key words as you read, and pay attention to words or concepts that are mentioned more than once, or in great detail.\\nAlso look for words like although, but, except, unless, and yet, because these words highlight a key idea that the author believed needed to be qualified or clarified.\\nA good strategy to help with questions like these is to note down 1-3 words summarizing the main idea of each paragraph in the margins as you read. Then, when you answer a question on the main idea, you can refer to these notes instead of doing a lot of re-reading.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Eliminate answers that are too broad or too narrow in scope.\", \"描述\": \"Certain answers you can rule out right away, and then focus on the remaining choices.\\nThe answer is too broad in scope, or too narrow, to fit the passage. For example, if the reading concerns college students in France, an answer describing all the people of France is too broad. An answer that only pertains to female college students in France would be too narrow.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Eliminate answers that contradict a statement in the reading.\", \"描述\": \"If an answer says something that is clearly different from something the author said in the passage, you can rule that one out right away.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Eliminate answers that aren't supported by the writing.\", \"描述\": \"If there are facts specified in the answer that are not included in the written passage, you can rule out this answer as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Look for synonyms, when asked for a specific detail.\", \"描述\": \"If an answer contains a word that has the same meaning as a main idea in the text, focus on that answer first to see whether it is supported by the reading.\"}]}]}}",
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1,734 | How to Answer Interview Questions | 1. Answering Common Interview Questions
1-1. Sell yourself.
"Tell me about yourself" is one of the most common things someone will ask you on an interview. While the question can seem overwhelming and open-ended, it's actually an excellent opportunity to sell yourself to your prospective employer. Think about the areas that you excel in and talk about experiences in which you used your skills to overcome a problem or solve an issue efficiently. Prepare a story before hand. Think about the skills that are required for the position you're applying to and frame your answers around what the employer is looking for.
Other questions that allow you to sell yourself include, "Why should we hire you?" and "What are your greatest strengths?"
When applying to a sales job, you can say something like, "I graduated from business school and got right into sales. I worked for Joe's Sales Inc. for three years before being promoted to sales lead. I consistently exceeded my quota and was the top in my team for most months out of the year. I have a love for communicating and closing deals."
1-2. Keep your answers short and concise.
If you plan on telling the employer a story about an experience which demonstrates your ability, make sure it has a clear beginning, middle, and end. Do not respond with a long-winded story that has a lot of useless information. Concentrate on things that the employer wants in an employee.
For instance, if an employer asks you to describe a challenging work situation and how you overcame it, you could say something like, "When I worked at Sue's Grocery we had a very limited budget and broken equipment. I was able to look at the expenses and came up with cost saving strategies that allowed us to reduce our payroll costs. This enabled us to take the extra money and repair the equipment we couldn't afford to fix."
1-3. Be specific about your experience.
If you are applying for a highly technical position or a position that requires a particular type of experience, it's important to get into the details with the interviewer so that they know your experience is applicable and genuine. Communicate your experience in past jobs, where you've made mistakes, and how you've improved since then.
When going for a computer related job, make sure that you cite all the software and programming languages that you have experience using.
When applying for a service industry job, knowing how point of sale systems and kitchen equipment works is a huge plus. Cite specifics.
You can say something like, "I've worked with the POS system called Sales Force at the last restaurant and I worked in. I also have experience taking orders and using a deep fryer. I'm fast, clean, and committed to ensuring that the guest leaves happy."
1-4. Demonstrate your mastery over the job.
Show your knowledge of the terms regularly used in the industry by using buzzwords in the conversation. When you can speak casually about your skills and experience, it shows that you have the experience and know how to fulfill the tasks that you'll need to undertake.
When going for a marketing job, make sure that you demonstrate your knowledge of both digital and traditional media. Cite all of the platforms that you have a following on and any networking connections that you may have.
You can say something like, "I've worked with the Daily News, Inquirer, Local News, and the Chronicle with past events. I also have a huge following on Twitter and Instagram. I know how to determine trends before they trend."
If you're a programmer you could say, "I've created layouts for websites, worked with PHP and CSS as well as Javascript and Ruby. I am really a big fan of responsive design and functionality when creating a website or app."
1-5. Maintain confident body language.
Body language is an important aspect of an interview. Sit up, with your back straight and your chest out. Crossing your arms or hunching over can make you appear not confident or closed off. When your interviewer is talking, lean in, nod your head, and seem interested and engaged.
If you catch yourself slouching over or looking off into different directions, try to reset your behavior by consciously changing the way that you're sitting and interacting.
When you first meet the person you're interviewing, it's customary to give them a handshake and to introduce yourself.
Do not fidget or play with something while the interview is taking place. This can make you seem uninterested or distracted.
1-6. Speak in a clear and confident tone of voice.
Do not slur your words, use slang, or speak quietly when you answer questions on an interview. To speak confidently, make sure that your voice is at a reasonable volume for the interviewer to hear your responses without having to concentrate. Do not raise your tone at the end of sentences because it can sound like a question and make you seem not as confident.
Speaking loudly and clearly shows your authority over what you're talking about.
Try to leave out filler words like "um" and "uh." Think of your responses before you start to talk.
1-7. Maintain good eye contact.
A lack of eye contact can make you seem like you're uninterested in what a person has to say. Try to maintain eye contact with the person interviewing you, but don't stare them down. Break away from eye contact at times when you're thinking or responding to a question. Maintain a smile while you're looking at them to prevent yourself from looking confused or vacant.
Try to be as natural as possible, but don't look away while the person is talking. This can be perceived as rude and ruin your chances on the interview.
Another method is to draw a triangle on a person's face and adjust your gaze to each corner every ten seconds. This may make eye contact less awkward for you.
1-8. Don't be arrogant.
Being overly confident can turn off a prospective employer and cost you the opportunity to work. Do not badmouth or complain about previous places of employment, because it could send a signal to your new employer that your attitude will not change. Never act like the job you're applying for is not good enough for you. Always remain optimistic and confident about the opportunity of your new employment.
Instead of bad mouthing a previous employer, say something like, "I really enjoyed the people I worked with and the company itself. I felt like I was able to grow and learn a lot from those around me. While it wasn't everything that I wanted, it still gave me the mentality to succeed in the industry and I'm grateful for the experience there."
Do not oversell yourself, or artificially inflate your accomplishments or ability. This could backfire if you actually get the job and are unable to fulfill your duties.
To reaffirm interest in the job, you can say something like, "I think the company culture here is great, and I'd be grateful for the opportunity to work for you."
1-9. Show your interest in working long-term.
The cost of onboarding and training new employees can become expensive for a company. Therefore, many businesses are looking to retain talent. A common question an employer will ask is "Where do you see yourself in five years?" Make sure that your answer involves where you'd be with the company you're applying to in five years.
An answer to "Tell me about yourself" could be something like, "I hope to grow within my position here and take on more responsibility. I hope to learn a lot within the industry and become better at my job."
A temporary or contract position could develop into a full time job.
2. Preparing For the Interview
2-1. Research the company you are applying to.
A common question that some companies may ask is, "What do you know about us?" Take a look at the company website, and look at related news on the company. Having an understanding of things like what they do, their company culture, their values, and competitive advantages will enable you to cater your responses to fit what they are looking for.
Being specific about the company will show the interviewer that you did your research and are serious about the job.
Find things about the company that align with your personal interests. For instance, if you're interested in sustainability, see if the company you're applying to has a sustainability initiative and read about it.
You don't need to memorize things like when the company was founded or specific details that don't go towards your position. While having this knowledge may impress an employer, concentrating on memorizing this information will give you less time to prepare for more critical aspects of the interview.
2-2. Prepare answers for the interview beforehand.
Preparation will allow you to have a good idea of how to respond to the most commonly asked interview questions. Not preparing could increase your anxiety on the interview and cause your answers to be confusing and not concise. Record your answers by writing them down or typing them out in a word processor.
The most common interview questions include, "Why do you want the job?" "What are your strengths and weaknesses?" and "Can you complete the tasks and duties of the job?"
Other questions may include, "Tell me about your past experience," "What is your biggest accomplishment?" "Are you a team player?" "Why should I hire you?" and "Why are you the best person for this position?"
2-3. Practice answering the questions in front of someone.
Don't memorize answers verbatim; instead, get the general idea from the answers that you've recorded. Allow your answers to flow naturally by practicing with someone beforehand. Try to work on your tone by staying positive and matter-of-fact. Raising your pitch at the end of a sentence could show a lack of confidence, while a very low or monotone pitch may make you seem uninterested.
Eliminate the amount you say "uh," "um," and "like."
If you forget an answer to a question, refer back to your answers. Keep in mind that you won't be able to use your notes for an in-person interview.
Ask whoever is helping you practice to provide feedback after the faux interview.
2-4. Think of questions to ask the interviewer.
Typically an employer will ask you if you have any questions for them at the end of the interview. Take this opportunity to ask questions about your job or the operations at the company. Get specific and try to incorporate things that were explained during the interview. Not asking any questions shows a lack of interest and could hurt your chances of getting the job.
You could ask a question like, "So you said that I'd be writing headlines for new articles. Do you know what industry I'd be writing about?"
Avoid asking questions about benefits packages or salaries before an official offer is made or the employer specifically asks you for salary requirements.
2-5. Pick out your outfit beforehand.
Employers will want to see that you're put together and organized. Your dress and appearance will be the first impression that you give to a prospective employer, and could influence their decision when hiring you. Always dress up and try to wear your best clothes even if the position is not in an office setting.
Avoid loud and flashy colors and any clothing that has text.
When in doubt, always dress more conservatively.
2-6. Look at the job application or listing again.
Reading the job application or listing will refresh your memory. It's essentially what the employer is looking for and contains the essential skills and experience that you should have. Reading it again will also give you the opportunity to spot details about the job that you may have missed when you applied initially.
3. Answering Questions on a Phone Interview
3-1. Turn off distractions.
If you're not used to working at home, then your environment may not be well-suited to take an interview over a phone call. Make sure to turn off any music, television, or alarms that may interrupt the interview.
If you have children or pets, make sure they are in the other room so you can concentrate on answering the questions.
Do not have an instant messenger or website open while answering questions on the interview.
Get a pen and paper ready in case you need to write anything down. Keyboard clicks can be loud and distracting during an interview.
3-2. Prepare a cheat sheet.
A benefit of having a phone interview is that the employer won't be able to see you. This is a significant advantage because you can create a cheat sheet before your interview that will help you stay on track during the interview. Your cheat sheet can include valuable information about the company or the position you're applying to. Also, you can have your pre-written answers in front of you.
Do not respond to questions word for word by reading off your cheat sheet. Try to make your responses as natural sounding as possible.
Hit the major points that you've outlined in your cheat sheet and adapt depending on the interviewer's questions.
3-3. Speak clearly and enunciate your words.
Because the interview is over the phone, your speaking demeanour becomes even more important. The person interviewing you won't have anything else to go on other than the sound of your voice and the way that you answer their questions. Do not mumble and speak loudly enough so the hiring manager can hear you. Make sure to pronounce words and take your time to think about your answers.
3-4. Listen and don't dominate the conversation.
The person interviewing you may have a speech that's been prepared, so allow them to speak. Many times they will inform you about the company or describe the duties you'll need to fulfill in the position. Asking a few follow-up questions shows your interest and tells the interviewer that you're paying attention.
While a silence may feel awkward, it's better than going on an unrelated tangent and dominating the conversation.
Smile as you answer your questions. They won't be able to see it, but it will affect the way your voice sounds.
3-5. Take the interview seriously.
A common mistake many people make on phone interviews is taking it too casually. Make sure that you're properly sitting at a desk and have gotten dressed for the day. The more ready you are, the more attentive and prepared you'll sound over the phone. Get in the right state of mind for the interview before your new employer calls you.
The way you look and feel dictates your energy level during a phone interview.
3-6. Ensure that your phone and connection are reliable.
A faulty phone or weak cellphone connection are terrible reasons for a phone interview to go poorly. Before you go on the interview, make sure that your phone is in good working order and that you have good reception in the area where you'll be taking the call.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Answering Common Interview Questions\\n1-1. Sell yourself.\\n\\\"Tell me about yourself\\\" is one of the most common things someone will ask you on an interview. While the question can seem overwhelming and open-ended, it's actually an excellent opportunity to sell yourself to your prospective employer. Think about the areas that you excel in and talk about experiences in which you used your skills to overcome a problem or solve an issue efficiently. Prepare a story before hand. Think about the skills that are required for the position you're applying to and frame your answers around what the employer is looking for.\\nOther questions that allow you to sell yourself include, \\\"Why should we hire you?\\\" and \\\"What are your greatest strengths?\\\"\\nWhen applying to a sales job, you can say something like, \\\"I graduated from business school and got right into sales. I worked for Joe's Sales Inc. for three years before being promoted to sales lead. I consistently exceeded my quota and was the top in my team for most months out of the year. I have a love for communicating and closing deals.\\\"\\n1-2. Keep your answers short and concise.\\nIf you plan on telling the employer a story about an experience which demonstrates your ability, make sure it has a clear beginning, middle, and end. Do not respond with a long-winded story that has a lot of useless information. Concentrate on things that the employer wants in an employee.\\nFor instance, if an employer asks you to describe a challenging work situation and how you overcame it, you could say something like, \\\"When I worked at Sue's Grocery we had a very limited budget and broken equipment. I was able to look at the expenses and came up with cost saving strategies that allowed us to reduce our payroll costs. This enabled us to take the extra money and repair the equipment we couldn't afford to fix.\\\"\\n1-3. Be specific about your experience.\\nIf you are applying for a highly technical position or a position that requires a particular type of experience, it's important to get into the details with the interviewer so that they know your experience is applicable and genuine. Communicate your experience in past jobs, where you've made mistakes, and how you've improved since then.\\nWhen going for a computer related job, make sure that you cite all the software and programming languages that you have experience using.\\nWhen applying for a service industry job, knowing how point of sale systems and kitchen equipment works is a huge plus. Cite specifics.\\nYou can say something like, \\\"I've worked with the POS system called Sales Force at the last restaurant and I worked in. I also have experience taking orders and using a deep fryer. I'm fast, clean, and committed to ensuring that the guest leaves happy.\\\"\\n1-4. Demonstrate your mastery over the job.\\nShow your knowledge of the terms regularly used in the industry by using buzzwords in the conversation. When you can speak casually about your skills and experience, it shows that you have the experience and know how to fulfill the tasks that you'll need to undertake.\\nWhen going for a marketing job, make sure that you demonstrate your knowledge of both digital and traditional media. Cite all of the platforms that you have a following on and any networking connections that you may have.\\nYou can say something like, \\\"I've worked with the Daily News, Inquirer, Local News, and the Chronicle with past events. I also have a huge following on Twitter and Instagram. I know how to determine trends before they trend.\\\"\\nIf you're a programmer you could say, \\\"I've created layouts for websites, worked with PHP and CSS as well as Javascript and Ruby. I am really a big fan of responsive design and functionality when creating a website or app.\\\"\\n1-5. Maintain confident body language.\\nBody language is an important aspect of an interview. Sit up, with your back straight and your chest out. Crossing your arms or hunching over can make you appear not confident or closed off. When your interviewer is talking, lean in, nod your head, and seem interested and engaged.\\nIf you catch yourself slouching over or looking off into different directions, try to reset your behavior by consciously changing the way that you're sitting and interacting.\\nWhen you first meet the person you're interviewing, it's customary to give them a handshake and to introduce yourself.\\nDo not fidget or play with something while the interview is taking place. This can make you seem uninterested or distracted.\\n1-6. Speak in a clear and confident tone of voice.\\nDo not slur your words, use slang, or speak quietly when you answer questions on an interview. To speak confidently, make sure that your voice is at a reasonable volume for the interviewer to hear your responses without having to concentrate. Do not raise your tone at the end of sentences because it can sound like a question and make you seem not as confident.\\nSpeaking loudly and clearly shows your authority over what you're talking about.\\nTry to leave out filler words like \\\"um\\\" and \\\"uh.\\\" Think of your responses before you start to talk.\\n1-7. Maintain good eye contact.\\nA lack of eye contact can make you seem like you're uninterested in what a person has to say. Try to maintain eye contact with the person interviewing you, but don't stare them down. Break away from eye contact at times when you're thinking or responding to a question. Maintain a smile while you're looking at them to prevent yourself from looking confused or vacant.\\nTry to be as natural as possible, but don't look away while the person is talking. This can be perceived as rude and ruin your chances on the interview.\\nAnother method is to draw a triangle on a person's face and adjust your gaze to each corner every ten seconds. This may make eye contact less awkward for you.\\n1-8. Don't be arrogant.\\nBeing overly confident can turn off a prospective employer and cost you the opportunity to work. Do not badmouth or complain about previous places of employment, because it could send a signal to your new employer that your attitude will not change. Never act like the job you're applying for is not good enough for you. Always remain optimistic and confident about the opportunity of your new employment.\\nInstead of bad mouthing a previous employer, say something like, \\\"I really enjoyed the people I worked with and the company itself. I felt like I was able to grow and learn a lot from those around me. While it wasn't everything that I wanted, it still gave me the mentality to succeed in the industry and I'm grateful for the experience there.\\\"\\nDo not oversell yourself, or artificially inflate your accomplishments or ability. This could backfire if you actually get the job and are unable to fulfill your duties.\\nTo reaffirm interest in the job, you can say something like, \\\"I think the company culture here is great, and I'd be grateful for the opportunity to work for you.\\\"\\n1-9. Show your interest in working long-term.\\nThe cost of onboarding and training new employees can become expensive for a company. Therefore, many businesses are looking to retain talent. A common question an employer will ask is \\\"Where do you see yourself in five years?\\\" Make sure that your answer involves where you'd be with the company you're applying to in five years.\\nAn answer to \\\"Tell me about yourself\\\" could be something like, \\\"I hope to grow within my position here and take on more responsibility. I hope to learn a lot within the industry and become better at my job.\\\"\\nA temporary or contract position could develop into a full time job.\\n2. Preparing For the Interview\\n2-1. Research the company you are applying to.\\nA common question that some companies may ask is, \\\"What do you know about us?\\\" Take a look at the company website, and look at related news on the company. Having an understanding of things like what they do, their company culture, their values, and competitive advantages will enable you to cater your responses to fit what they are looking for.\\nBeing specific about the company will show the interviewer that you did your research and are serious about the job.\\nFind things about the company that align with your personal interests. For instance, if you're interested in sustainability, see if the company you're applying to has a sustainability initiative and read about it.\\nYou don't need to memorize things like when the company was founded or specific details that don't go towards your position. While having this knowledge may impress an employer, concentrating on memorizing this information will give you less time to prepare for more critical aspects of the interview.\\n2-2. Prepare answers for the interview beforehand.\\nPreparation will allow you to have a good idea of how to respond to the most commonly asked interview questions. Not preparing could increase your anxiety on the interview and cause your answers to be confusing and not concise. Record your answers by writing them down or typing them out in a word processor.\\nThe most common interview questions include, \\\"Why do you want the job?\\\" \\\"What are your strengths and weaknesses?\\\" and \\\"Can you complete the tasks and duties of the job?\\\"\\nOther questions may include, \\\"Tell me about your past experience,\\\" \\\"What is your biggest accomplishment?\\\" \\\"Are you a team player?\\\" \\\"Why should I hire you?\\\" and \\\"Why are you the best person for this position?\\\"\\n2-3. Practice answering the questions in front of someone.\\nDon't memorize answers verbatim; instead, get the general idea from the answers that you've recorded. Allow your answers to flow naturally by practicing with someone beforehand. Try to work on your tone by staying positive and matter-of-fact. Raising your pitch at the end of a sentence could show a lack of confidence, while a very low or monotone pitch may make you seem uninterested.\\nEliminate the amount you say \\\"uh,\\\" \\\"um,\\\" and \\\"like.\\\"\\nIf you forget an answer to a question, refer back to your answers. Keep in mind that you won't be able to use your notes for an in-person interview.\\nAsk whoever is helping you practice to provide feedback after the faux interview.\\n2-4. Think of questions to ask the interviewer.\\nTypically an employer will ask you if you have any questions for them at the end of the interview. Take this opportunity to ask questions about your job or the operations at the company. Get specific and try to incorporate things that were explained during the interview. Not asking any questions shows a lack of interest and could hurt your chances of getting the job.\\nYou could ask a question like, \\\"So you said that I'd be writing headlines for new articles. Do you know what industry I'd be writing about?\\\"\\nAvoid asking questions about benefits packages or salaries before an official offer is made or the employer specifically asks you for salary requirements.\\n2-5. Pick out your outfit beforehand.\\nEmployers will want to see that you're put together and organized. Your dress and appearance will be the first impression that you give to a prospective employer, and could influence their decision when hiring you. Always dress up and try to wear your best clothes even if the position is not in an office setting.\\nAvoid loud and flashy colors and any clothing that has text.\\nWhen in doubt, always dress more conservatively.\\n2-6. Look at the job application or listing again.\\nReading the job application or listing will refresh your memory. It's essentially what the employer is looking for and contains the essential skills and experience that you should have. Reading it again will also give you the opportunity to spot details about the job that you may have missed when you applied initially.\\n3. Answering Questions on a Phone Interview\\n3-1. Turn off distractions.\\nIf you're not used to working at home, then your environment may not be well-suited to take an interview over a phone call. Make sure to turn off any music, television, or alarms that may interrupt the interview.\\nIf you have children or pets, make sure they are in the other room so you can concentrate on answering the questions.\\nDo not have an instant messenger or website open while answering questions on the interview.\\nGet a pen and paper ready in case you need to write anything down. Keyboard clicks can be loud and distracting during an interview.\\n3-2. Prepare a cheat sheet.\\nA benefit of having a phone interview is that the employer won't be able to see you. This is a significant advantage because you can create a cheat sheet before your interview that will help you stay on track during the interview. Your cheat sheet can include valuable information about the company or the position you're applying to. Also, you can have your pre-written answers in front of you.\\nDo not respond to questions word for word by reading off your cheat sheet. Try to make your responses as natural sounding as possible.\\nHit the major points that you've outlined in your cheat sheet and adapt depending on the interviewer's questions.\\n3-3. Speak clearly and enunciate your words.\\nBecause the interview is over the phone, your speaking demeanour becomes even more important. The person interviewing you won't have anything else to go on other than the sound of your voice and the way that you answer their questions. Do not mumble and speak loudly enough so the hiring manager can hear you. Make sure to pronounce words and take your time to think about your answers.\\n3-4. Listen and don't dominate the conversation.\\nThe person interviewing you may have a speech that's been prepared, so allow them to speak. Many times they will inform you about the company or describe the duties you'll need to fulfill in the position. Asking a few follow-up questions shows your interest and tells the interviewer that you're paying attention.\\nWhile a silence may feel awkward, it's better than going on an unrelated tangent and dominating the conversation.\\nSmile as you answer your questions. They won't be able to see it, but it will affect the way your voice sounds.\\n3-5. Take the interview seriously.\\nA common mistake many people make on phone interviews is taking it too casually. Make sure that you're properly sitting at a desk and have gotten dressed for the day. The more ready you are, the more attentive and prepared you'll sound over the phone. Get in the right state of mind for the interview before your new employer calls you.\\nThe way you look and feel dictates your energy level during a phone interview.\\n3-6. Ensure that your phone and connection are reliable.\\nA faulty phone or weak cellphone connection are terrible reasons for a phone interview to go poorly. Before you go on the interview, make sure that your phone is in good working order and that you have good reception in the area where you'll be taking the call.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"An interview can be one of the most stressful things that you'll ever have to do. Many people haven't taken the time to evaluate themselves and put their skills and accomplishments into words. There are a multitude of questions that an interviewer could ask you and you may not be prepared to answer. However, if you conduct the right amount of research and adequately prepare for it, you'll be able to land the position that you want.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Answering Common Interview Questions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sell yourself.\", \"描述\": \"\\\"Tell me about yourself\\\" is one of the most common things someone will ask you on an interview. While the question can seem overwhelming and open-ended, it's actually an excellent opportunity to sell yourself to your prospective employer. Think about the areas that you excel in and talk about experiences in which you used your skills to overcome a problem or solve an issue efficiently. Prepare a story before hand. Think about the skills that are required for the position you're applying to and frame your answers around what the employer is looking for.\\nOther questions that allow you to sell yourself include, \\\"Why should we hire you?\\\" and \\\"What are your greatest strengths?\\\"\\nWhen applying to a sales job, you can say something like, \\\"I graduated from business school and got right into sales. I worked for Joe's Sales Inc. for three years before being promoted to sales lead. I consistently exceeded my quota and was the top in my team for most months out of the year. I have a love for communicating and closing deals.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep your answers short and concise.\", \"描述\": \"If you plan on telling the employer a story about an experience which demonstrates your ability, make sure it has a clear beginning, middle, and end. Do not respond with a long-winded story that has a lot of useless information. Concentrate on things that the employer wants in an employee.\\nFor instance, if an employer asks you to describe a challenging work situation and how you overcame it, you could say something like, \\\"When I worked at Sue's Grocery we had a very limited budget and broken equipment. I was able to look at the expenses and came up with cost saving strategies that allowed us to reduce our payroll costs. This enabled us to take the extra money and repair the equipment we couldn't afford to fix.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be specific about your experience.\", \"描述\": \"If you are applying for a highly technical position or a position that requires a particular type of experience, it's important to get into the details with the interviewer so that they know your experience is applicable and genuine. Communicate your experience in past jobs, where you've made mistakes, and how you've improved since then.\\nWhen going for a computer related job, make sure that you cite all the software and programming languages that you have experience using.\\nWhen applying for a service industry job, knowing how point of sale systems and kitchen equipment works is a huge plus. Cite specifics.\\nYou can say something like, \\\"I've worked with the POS system called Sales Force at the last restaurant and I worked in. I also have experience taking orders and using a deep fryer. I'm fast, clean, and committed to ensuring that the guest leaves happy.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Demonstrate your mastery over the job.\", \"描述\": \"Show your knowledge of the terms regularly used in the industry by using buzzwords in the conversation. When you can speak casually about your skills and experience, it shows that you have the experience and know how to fulfill the tasks that you'll need to undertake.\\nWhen going for a marketing job, make sure that you demonstrate your knowledge of both digital and traditional media. Cite all of the platforms that you have a following on and any networking connections that you may have.\\nYou can say something like, \\\"I've worked with the Daily News, Inquirer, Local News, and the Chronicle with past events. I also have a huge following on Twitter and Instagram. I know how to determine trends before they trend.\\\"\\nIf you're a programmer you could say, \\\"I've created layouts for websites, worked with PHP and CSS as well as Javascript and Ruby. I am really a big fan of responsive design and functionality when creating a website or app.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Maintain confident body language.\", \"描述\": \"Body language is an important aspect of an interview. Sit up, with your back straight and your chest out. Crossing your arms or hunching over can make you appear not confident or closed off. When your interviewer is talking, lean in, nod your head, and seem interested and engaged.\\nIf you catch yourself slouching over or looking off into different directions, try to reset your behavior by consciously changing the way that you're sitting and interacting.\\nWhen you first meet the person you're interviewing, it's customary to give them a handshake and to introduce yourself.\\nDo not fidget or play with something while the interview is taking place. This can make you seem uninterested or distracted.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Speak in a clear and confident tone of voice.\", \"描述\": \"Do not slur your words, use slang, or speak quietly when you answer questions on an interview. To speak confidently, make sure that your voice is at a reasonable volume for the interviewer to hear your responses without having to concentrate. Do not raise your tone at the end of sentences because it can sound like a question and make you seem not as confident.\\nSpeaking loudly and clearly shows your authority over what you're talking about.\\nTry to leave out filler words like \\\"um\\\" and \\\"uh.\\\" Think of your responses before you start to talk.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Maintain good eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"A lack of eye contact can make you seem like you're uninterested in what a person has to say. Try to maintain eye contact with the person interviewing you, but don't stare them down. Break away from eye contact at times when you're thinking or responding to a question. Maintain a smile while you're looking at them to prevent yourself from looking confused or vacant.\\nTry to be as natural as possible, but don't look away while the person is talking. This can be perceived as rude and ruin your chances on the interview.\\nAnother method is to draw a triangle on a person's face and adjust your gaze to each corner every ten seconds. This may make eye contact less awkward for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Don't be arrogant.\", \"描述\": \"Being overly confident can turn off a prospective employer and cost you the opportunity to work. Do not badmouth or complain about previous places of employment, because it could send a signal to your new employer that your attitude will not change. Never act like the job you're applying for is not good enough for you. Always remain optimistic and confident about the opportunity of your new employment.\\nInstead of bad mouthing a previous employer, say something like, \\\"I really enjoyed the people I worked with and the company itself. I felt like I was able to grow and learn a lot from those around me. While it wasn't everything that I wanted, it still gave me the mentality to succeed in the industry and I'm grateful for the experience there.\\\"\\nDo not oversell yourself, or artificially inflate your accomplishments or ability. This could backfire if you actually get the job and are unable to fulfill your duties.\\nTo reaffirm interest in the job, you can say something like, \\\"I think the company culture here is great, and I'd be grateful for the opportunity to work for you.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Show your interest in working long-term.\", \"描述\": \"The cost of onboarding and training new employees can become expensive for a company. Therefore, many businesses are looking to retain talent. A common question an employer will ask is \\\"Where do you see yourself in five years?\\\" Make sure that your answer involves where you'd be with the company you're applying to in five years.\\nAn answer to \\\"Tell me about yourself\\\" could be something like, \\\"I hope to grow within my position here and take on more responsibility. I hope to learn a lot within the industry and become better at my job.\\\"\\nA temporary or contract position could develop into a full time job.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Preparing For the Interview\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Research the company you are applying to.\", \"描述\": \"A common question that some companies may ask is, \\\"What do you know about us?\\\" Take a look at the company website, and look at related news on the company. Having an understanding of things like what they do, their company culture, their values, and competitive advantages will enable you to cater your responses to fit what they are looking for.\\nBeing specific about the company will show the interviewer that you did your research and are serious about the job.\\nFind things about the company that align with your personal interests. For instance, if you're interested in sustainability, see if the company you're applying to has a sustainability initiative and read about it.\\nYou don't need to memorize things like when the company was founded or specific details that don't go towards your position. While having this knowledge may impress an employer, concentrating on memorizing this information will give you less time to prepare for more critical aspects of the interview.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Prepare answers for the interview beforehand.\", \"描述\": \"Preparation will allow you to have a good idea of how to respond to the most commonly asked interview questions. Not preparing could increase your anxiety on the interview and cause your answers to be confusing and not concise. Record your answers by writing them down or typing them out in a word processor.\\nThe most common interview questions include, \\\"Why do you want the job?\\\" \\\"What are your strengths and weaknesses?\\\" and \\\"Can you complete the tasks and duties of the job?\\\"\\nOther questions may include, \\\"Tell me about your past experience,\\\" \\\"What is your biggest accomplishment?\\\" \\\"Are you a team player?\\\" \\\"Why should I hire you?\\\" and \\\"Why are you the best person for this position?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice answering the questions in front of someone.\", \"描述\": \"Don't memorize answers verbatim; instead, get the general idea from the answers that you've recorded. Allow your answers to flow naturally by practicing with someone beforehand. Try to work on your tone by staying positive and matter-of-fact. Raising your pitch at the end of a sentence could show a lack of confidence, while a very low or monotone pitch may make you seem uninterested.\\nEliminate the amount you say \\\"uh,\\\" \\\"um,\\\" and \\\"like.\\\"\\nIf you forget an answer to a question, refer back to your answers. Keep in mind that you won't be able to use your notes for an in-person interview.\\nAsk whoever is helping you practice to provide feedback after the faux interview.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Think of questions to ask the interviewer.\", \"描述\": \"Typically an employer will ask you if you have any questions for them at the end of the interview. Take this opportunity to ask questions about your job or the operations at the company. Get specific and try to incorporate things that were explained during the interview. Not asking any questions shows a lack of interest and could hurt your chances of getting the job.\\nYou could ask a question like, \\\"So you said that I'd be writing headlines for new articles. Do you know what industry I'd be writing about?\\\"\\nAvoid asking questions about benefits packages or salaries before an official offer is made or the employer specifically asks you for salary requirements.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Pick out your outfit beforehand.\", \"描述\": \"Employers will want to see that you're put together and organized. Your dress and appearance will be the first impression that you give to a prospective employer, and could influence their decision when hiring you. Always dress up and try to wear your best clothes even if the position is not in an office setting.\\nAvoid loud and flashy colors and any clothing that has text.\\nWhen in doubt, always dress more conservatively.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Look at the job application or listing again.\", \"描述\": \"Reading the job application or listing will refresh your memory. It's essentially what the employer is looking for and contains the essential skills and experience that you should have. Reading it again will also give you the opportunity to spot details about the job that you may have missed when you applied initially.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Answering Questions on a Phone Interview\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Turn off distractions.\", \"描述\": \"If you're not used to working at home, then your environment may not be well-suited to take an interview over a phone call. Make sure to turn off any music, television, or alarms that may interrupt the interview.\\nIf you have children or pets, make sure they are in the other room so you can concentrate on answering the questions.\\nDo not have an instant messenger or website open while answering questions on the interview.\\nGet a pen and paper ready in case you need to write anything down. Keyboard clicks can be loud and distracting during an interview.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Prepare a cheat sheet.\", \"描述\": \"A benefit of having a phone interview is that the employer won't be able to see you. This is a significant advantage because you can create a cheat sheet before your interview that will help you stay on track during the interview. Your cheat sheet can include valuable information about the company or the position you're applying to. Also, you can have your pre-written answers in front of you.\\nDo not respond to questions word for word by reading off your cheat sheet. Try to make your responses as natural sounding as possible.\\nHit the major points that you've outlined in your cheat sheet and adapt depending on the interviewer's questions.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Speak clearly and enunciate your words.\", \"描述\": \"Because the interview is over the phone, your speaking demeanour becomes even more important. The person interviewing you won't have anything else to go on other than the sound of your voice and the way that you answer their questions. Do not mumble and speak loudly enough so the hiring manager can hear you. Make sure to pronounce words and take your time to think about your answers.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Listen and don't dominate the conversation.\", \"描述\": \"The person interviewing you may have a speech that's been prepared, so allow them to speak. Many times they will inform you about the company or describe the duties you'll need to fulfill in the position. Asking a few follow-up questions shows your interest and tells the interviewer that you're paying attention.\\nWhile a silence may feel awkward, it's better than going on an unrelated tangent and dominating the conversation.\\nSmile as you answer your questions. They won't be able to see it, but it will affect the way your voice sounds.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take the interview seriously.\", \"描述\": \"A common mistake many people make on phone interviews is taking it too casually. Make sure that you're properly sitting at a desk and have gotten dressed for the day. The more ready you are, the more attentive and prepared you'll sound over the phone. Get in the right state of mind for the interview before your new employer calls you.\\nThe way you look and feel dictates your energy level during a phone interview.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ensure that your phone and connection are reliable.\", \"描述\": \"A faulty phone or weak cellphone connection are terrible reasons for a phone interview to go poorly. Before you go on the interview, make sure that your phone is in good working order and that you have good reception in the area where you'll be taking the call.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,735 | How to Answer Interview Questions about Your Work Ethic | 1. Answering Interview Questions
1-1. Prepare to be asked varied questions about your work ethic.
Other questions related to this might be about your attitude towards your current job, job performance, ability to work with others, skill sets, etc.
Questions about your work ethic might not be phrased exactly as "describe your work ethic" or "What is your work ethic?"
Similar questions might include: "How would you describe yourself?", "How do you feel about working in a team?", "How do you feel about training and learning new skill sets?"
1-2. Provide an honest answer that implies a strong work ethic.
Choose characteristics of your attitude, feelings and beliefs about work to give an answer that is true to you, and that presents your work philosophy in the best light.
For example, you may state that you approach work with dedication because you believe in doing your best, and when you do your best you feel accomplished and satisfied.
You might also say that you also do your best to make sure you enjoy your work, and that helps you to complete tasks with enthusiasm.
Stress that you see jobs as a continual learning experience and that you will always seek new training and workshops that will allow you to further your skills and contribute to your workplace in new, innovative ways. Employers will look for individuals who want to advance their own knowledge about their job and contribute new insights to their team.
1-3. Use real-life examples to support your answer.
Consider situations you have been in that exemplify the work ethics you claim to have.
For example, if you say you place a high priority on honesty, cite a scenario in your life where you were especially honest in the face of difficult circumstances.
If you claim to work well with others, describe a group project that you successfully contributed to.
1-4. Describe a difficult scenario at your last job, and how you worked to solve it.
Describe how you successfully troubleshooted and worked with others to come to a solution.
Use concrete examples. You might say something along the lines of "A client was having a problem with their account and they were very upset and angry. I was able to maintain being very calm and understanding while I worked to resolve the issue. I had to work directly with my manager to come up with a solution that addressed the clients and company needs at the same time. In the end, the client was happy with the solution and how I worked effectively with my team."
2. Asking Your Own Questions
2-1. Follow up with questions about the potential job.
Employers are most interested in candidates which ask questions during an interview. There are very good questions to follow up a question about your personality, work ethic, or ability to work with others such as:
"What skills and experiences would make an ideal candidate for your company?" This is a good chance for your potential employer to lay all cards on the table and describe exactly what they are looking for. It can be a good way for you to follow up with more answers about yourself and your work ethic that you haven't covered yet.
"Do you offer professional training or continuing education?" This is a good way to show that you are interested in continuing to learn new ways of doing your job and that you are willing to grow with the company.
2-2. Ask questions about the team environment at the workplace.
This shows you are interested in being part of a successful team and thinking of ways how your skills might contribute.
"Can you tell me about the team I'll be working with?" This question shows that you know you'll be working in a team environment and might lead to ways in which you can describe how well you have worked with others in the past.
" Describe how your attitude and approach to work fits in with the company or team philosophy. You might say "I'm an effective team player. I first evaluate where in a team project my skills would be most effective and offer strategies in that area. I offer support and positive feedback to my coworkers."
2-3. Avoid asking questions about benefits and pay.
It is not a good idea to ask questions about benefits, time off, changing your work schedule, gossip you might have heard, or too many personal questions about your interviewer.
Stick to specific questions about your potential jobs, the company in general, and the team you'll be working with.
Questions about benefits and salary can be addressed later in the hiring process rather than in an initial interview.
3. Understanding Your Own Work Ethic
3-1. Address your priorities about work.
Is your job your first priority or are other aspects of your life more important?
You may find that your job is your first priority and you are able to fit in your other responsibilities around your work life.
A person with a healthy work-life balance is an attractive candidate to most companies. Many companies may even ask you about your interests outside of your field.
3-2. Examine your relationship with your current job.
In order to best answer questions about your work ethic, you must first have a thorough understanding of how you, personally, relate to your job. Consider the following:
Your attitude towards work relates to how you approach occupational responsibilities. Someone with a strong work ethic has a positive, willing attitude when it comes to putting effort into a job.
Your feelings about work relate to how work affects your performance, and is an important contributing factor to overall work ethic. Work may make you feel energized, proud, and positive about yourself and your accomplishments. On the other hand, you may feel that work makes you feel stressed.
Your beliefs about work pertain to the role you give work in relation to life itself. For example, you may believe that work builds character and is central to a well-balanced life.
3-3. Make an outline of how you feel about different aspects of your job.
Writing these ideas down might help you remember important details about your work ethic and your skill sets for an interview.
How do you feel about working with others? Describe both pros and cons about working directly with co-workers and clients.
How do you feel about continuing education and expanding your skills? Describe your attitude and feelings towards putting extra time into professional training.
How do you feel about working overtime or through difficult scenarios? Outline your attitudes towards working extra hours or through unfamiliar and difficult situations.
3-4. Think of specific instances in your career.
These will help you describe the specifics of how your work ethic has benefitted you in your career. These can be things like:
Working with a team: Has there been a specific time where working with a team has been difficult or beneficial? How did working with others help or hinder you?
Working with a difficult client: Has there been a difficult scenario involving a client? How did you handle working with a client through a difficult problem while being sensitive to the clients needs and company restrictions?
Tips
Always dress for success. Invest in a power outfit that is clean, well-fitted, and tailored. Don't wear messy or wrinkled clothes, fragrances, or loud colors.[8]
X
Research source
In the case of work ethic questions during job interviews, interviewers are often looking to hire someone who possesses a positive attitude, knows how to be a team player, takes initiative, is adaptable enough to take on a multitude of tasks, is good with time management, and is dedicated to continually learning.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:01",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Answering Interview Questions\\n1-1. Prepare to be asked varied questions about your work ethic.\\nOther questions related to this might be about your attitude towards your current job, job performance, ability to work with others, skill sets, etc. \\nQuestions about your work ethic might not be phrased exactly as \\\"describe your work ethic\\\" or \\\"What is your work ethic?\\\"\\nSimilar questions might include: \\\"How would you describe yourself?\\\", \\\"How do you feel about working in a team?\\\", \\\"How do you feel about training and learning new skill sets?\\\"\\n1-2. Provide an honest answer that implies a strong work ethic.\\nChoose characteristics of your attitude, feelings and beliefs about work to give an answer that is true to you, and that presents your work philosophy in the best light.\\nFor example, you may state that you approach work with dedication because you believe in doing your best, and when you do your best you feel accomplished and satisfied.\\nYou might also say that you also do your best to make sure you enjoy your work, and that helps you to complete tasks with enthusiasm.\\nStress that you see jobs as a continual learning experience and that you will always seek new training and workshops that will allow you to further your skills and contribute to your workplace in new, innovative ways. Employers will look for individuals who want to advance their own knowledge about their job and contribute new insights to their team.\\n1-3. Use real-life examples to support your answer.\\nConsider situations you have been in that exemplify the work ethics you claim to have.\\nFor example, if you say you place a high priority on honesty, cite a scenario in your life where you were especially honest in the face of difficult circumstances.\\nIf you claim to work well with others, describe a group project that you successfully contributed to.\\n1-4. Describe a difficult scenario at your last job, and how you worked to solve it.\\nDescribe how you successfully troubleshooted and worked with others to come to a solution.\\nUse concrete examples. You might say something along the lines of \\\"A client was having a problem with their account and they were very upset and angry. I was able to maintain being very calm and understanding while I worked to resolve the issue. I had to work directly with my manager to come up with a solution that addressed the clients and company needs at the same time. In the end, the client was happy with the solution and how I worked effectively with my team.\\\"\\n2. Asking Your Own Questions\\n2-1. Follow up with questions about the potential job.\\nEmployers are most interested in candidates which ask questions during an interview. There are very good questions to follow up a question about your personality, work ethic, or ability to work with others such as:\\n\\\"What skills and experiences would make an ideal candidate for your company?\\\" This is a good chance for your potential employer to lay all cards on the table and describe exactly what they are looking for. It can be a good way for you to follow up with more answers about yourself and your work ethic that you haven't covered yet.\\n\\\"Do you offer professional training or continuing education?\\\" This is a good way to show that you are interested in continuing to learn new ways of doing your job and that you are willing to grow with the company.\\n2-2. Ask questions about the team environment at the workplace.\\nThis shows you are interested in being part of a successful team and thinking of ways how your skills might contribute.\\n\\\"Can you tell me about the team I'll be working with?\\\" This question shows that you know you'll be working in a team environment and might lead to ways in which you can describe how well you have worked with others in the past.\\n\\\" Describe how your attitude and approach to work fits in with the company or team philosophy. You might say \\\"I'm an effective team player. I first evaluate where in a team project my skills would be most effective and offer strategies in that area. I offer support and positive feedback to my coworkers.\\\"\\n2-3. Avoid asking questions about benefits and pay.\\nIt is not a good idea to ask questions about benefits, time off, changing your work schedule, gossip you might have heard, or too many personal questions about your interviewer.\\nStick to specific questions about your potential jobs, the company in general, and the team you'll be working with.\\nQuestions about benefits and salary can be addressed later in the hiring process rather than in an initial interview.\\n3. Understanding Your Own Work Ethic\\n3-1. Address your priorities about work.\\nIs your job your first priority or are other aspects of your life more important?\\nYou may find that your job is your first priority and you are able to fit in your other responsibilities around your work life.\\nA person with a healthy work-life balance is an attractive candidate to most companies. Many companies may even ask you about your interests outside of your field.\\n3-2. Examine your relationship with your current job.\\nIn order to best answer questions about your work ethic, you must first have a thorough understanding of how you, personally, relate to your job. Consider the following:\\nYour attitude towards work relates to how you approach occupational responsibilities. Someone with a strong work ethic has a positive, willing attitude when it comes to putting effort into a job.\\nYour feelings about work relate to how work affects your performance, and is an important contributing factor to overall work ethic. Work may make you feel energized, proud, and positive about yourself and your accomplishments. On the other hand, you may feel that work makes you feel stressed.\\nYour beliefs about work pertain to the role you give work in relation to life itself. For example, you may believe that work builds character and is central to a well-balanced life.\\n3-3. Make an outline of how you feel about different aspects of your job.\\nWriting these ideas down might help you remember important details about your work ethic and your skill sets for an interview.\\nHow do you feel about working with others? Describe both pros and cons about working directly with co-workers and clients.\\nHow do you feel about continuing education and expanding your skills? Describe your attitude and feelings towards putting extra time into professional training.\\nHow do you feel about working overtime or through difficult scenarios? Outline your attitudes towards working extra hours or through unfamiliar and difficult situations.\\n3-4. Think of specific instances in your career.\\nThese will help you describe the specifics of how your work ethic has benefitted you in your career. These can be things like:\\nWorking with a team: Has there been a specific time where working with a team has been difficult or beneficial? How did working with others help or hinder you?\\nWorking with a difficult client: Has there been a difficult scenario involving a client? How did you handle working with a client through a difficult problem while being sensitive to the clients needs and company restrictions?\\nTips\\nAlways dress for success. Invest in a power outfit that is clean, well-fitted, and tailored. Don't wear messy or wrinkled clothes, fragrances, or loud colors.[8]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nIn the case of work ethic questions during job interviews, interviewers are often looking to hire someone who possesses a positive attitude, knows how to be a team player, takes initiative, is adaptable enough to take on a multitude of tasks, is good with time management, and is dedicated to continually learning.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"In job interviews, it's almost a guarantee that you'll be asked about your work ethic, which is basically how you feel about and how you approach work. One's work ethic encompasses many different qualities that you'll have to show on the job, such as goals-setting, reliability, your leadership and communication styles, how you handle responsibility, and much more. The exact answer you give will vary based on your own personality and job experiences, but there are a few general guidelines to how you should answer to show your best self. By following them, you'll be able to nail an interview and get the job you want!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Answering Interview Questions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Prepare to be asked varied questions about your work ethic.\", \"描述\": \"Other questions related to this might be about your attitude towards your current job, job performance, ability to work with others, skill sets, etc. \\nQuestions about your work ethic might not be phrased exactly as \\\"describe your work ethic\\\" or \\\"What is your work ethic?\\\"\\nSimilar questions might include: \\\"How would you describe yourself?\\\", \\\"How do you feel about working in a team?\\\", \\\"How do you feel about training and learning new skill sets?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Provide an honest answer that implies a strong work ethic.\", \"描述\": \"Choose characteristics of your attitude, feelings and beliefs about work to give an answer that is true to you, and that presents your work philosophy in the best light.\\nFor example, you may state that you approach work with dedication because you believe in doing your best, and when you do your best you feel accomplished and satisfied.\\nYou might also say that you also do your best to make sure you enjoy your work, and that helps you to complete tasks with enthusiasm.\\nStress that you see jobs as a continual learning experience and that you will always seek new training and workshops that will allow you to further your skills and contribute to your workplace in new, innovative ways. Employers will look for individuals who want to advance their own knowledge about their job and contribute new insights to their team.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use real-life examples to support your answer.\", \"描述\": \"Consider situations you have been in that exemplify the work ethics you claim to have.\\nFor example, if you say you place a high priority on honesty, cite a scenario in your life where you were especially honest in the face of difficult circumstances.\\nIf you claim to work well with others, describe a group project that you successfully contributed to.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Describe a difficult scenario at your last job, and how you worked to solve it.\", \"描述\": \"Describe how you successfully troubleshooted and worked with others to come to a solution.\\nUse concrete examples. You might say something along the lines of \\\"A client was having a problem with their account and they were very upset and angry. I was able to maintain being very calm and understanding while I worked to resolve the issue. I had to work directly with my manager to come up with a solution that addressed the clients and company needs at the same time. In the end, the client was happy with the solution and how I worked effectively with my team.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking Your Own Questions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Follow up with questions about the potential job.\", \"描述\": \"Employers are most interested in candidates which ask questions during an interview. There are very good questions to follow up a question about your personality, work ethic, or ability to work with others such as:\\n\\\"What skills and experiences would make an ideal candidate for your company?\\\" This is a good chance for your potential employer to lay all cards on the table and describe exactly what they are looking for. It can be a good way for you to follow up with more answers about yourself and your work ethic that you haven't covered yet.\\n\\\"Do you offer professional training or continuing education?\\\" This is a good way to show that you are interested in continuing to learn new ways of doing your job and that you are willing to grow with the company.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask questions about the team environment at the workplace.\", \"描述\": \"This shows you are interested in being part of a successful team and thinking of ways how your skills might contribute.\\n\\\"Can you tell me about the team I'll be working with?\\\" This question shows that you know you'll be working in a team environment and might lead to ways in which you can describe how well you have worked with others in the past.\\n\\\" Describe how your attitude and approach to work fits in with the company or team philosophy. You might say \\\"I'm an effective team player. I first evaluate where in a team project my skills would be most effective and offer strategies in that area. I offer support and positive feedback to my coworkers.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid asking questions about benefits and pay.\", \"描述\": \"It is not a good idea to ask questions about benefits, time off, changing your work schedule, gossip you might have heard, or too many personal questions about your interviewer.\\nStick to specific questions about your potential jobs, the company in general, and the team you'll be working with.\\nQuestions about benefits and salary can be addressed later in the hiring process rather than in an initial interview.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Understanding Your Own Work Ethic\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Address your priorities about work.\", \"描述\": \"Is your job your first priority or are other aspects of your life more important?\\nYou may find that your job is your first priority and you are able to fit in your other responsibilities around your work life.\\nA person with a healthy work-life balance is an attractive candidate to most companies. Many companies may even ask you about your interests outside of your field.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Examine your relationship with your current job.\", \"描述\": \"In order to best answer questions about your work ethic, you must first have a thorough understanding of how you, personally, relate to your job. Consider the following:\\nYour attitude towards work relates to how you approach occupational responsibilities. Someone with a strong work ethic has a positive, willing attitude when it comes to putting effort into a job.\\nYour feelings about work relate to how work affects your performance, and is an important contributing factor to overall work ethic. Work may make you feel energized, proud, and positive about yourself and your accomplishments. On the other hand, you may feel that work makes you feel stressed.\\nYour beliefs about work pertain to the role you give work in relation to life itself. For example, you may believe that work builds character and is central to a well-balanced life.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make an outline of how you feel about different aspects of your job.\", \"描述\": \"Writing these ideas down might help you remember important details about your work ethic and your skill sets for an interview.\\nHow do you feel about working with others? Describe both pros and cons about working directly with co-workers and clients.\\nHow do you feel about continuing education and expanding your skills? Describe your attitude and feelings towards putting extra time into professional training.\\nHow do you feel about working overtime or through difficult scenarios? Outline your attitudes towards working extra hours or through unfamiliar and difficult situations.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Think of specific instances in your career.\", \"描述\": \"These will help you describe the specifics of how your work ethic has benefitted you in your career. These can be things like:\\nWorking with a team: Has there been a specific time where working with a team has been difficult or beneficial? How did working with others help or hinder you?\\nWorking with a difficult client: Has there been a difficult scenario involving a client? How did you handle working with a client through a difficult problem while being sensitive to the clients needs and company restrictions?\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Always dress for success. Invest in a power outfit that is clean, well-fitted, and tailored. Don't wear messy or wrinkled clothes, fragrances, or loud colors.[8]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"In the case of work ethic questions during job interviews, interviewers are often looking to hire someone who possesses a positive attitude, knows how to be a team player, takes initiative, is adaptable enough to take on a multitude of tasks, is good with time management, and is dedicated to continually learning.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,736 | How to Answer Point of Informations In a Debate | 1. Deciding Whether to Answer or Decline a POI
1-1. Plan on when to accept POIs during your argument.
Before giving your argument, determine where in your speech will be the best times to address POIs and only accept them during those times. The best time to accept POIs is during the parts of your speech where you are most confident and knowledgeable. Most debate formats will require you to take at least two POIs during your argument. There are advantages and disadvantages to taking both POIs at the beginning, at the end, or spreading them out.
Taking both POIs towards the beginning of your argument will get them out of your way, allowing you to focus on the substance of your idea for the rest of your time without worry of being interrupted. However, taking both POIs early can delay getting into the substance of your ideas and may create problems if you don’t manage your time well for the rest of your speech.
Waiting until the end of your speech to accept both POIs can be an advantage because they will come during the strongest times in your argument, giving you a position to answer them. However, delaying acceptance of any POIs until the end may discourage your opponents from asking them, leaving you with no POIs to answer.
Spreading POIs out between the first and last parts of your argument will demonstrate to the judges that you are comfortable addressing POIs at any point in your argument. However, don’t forget to address the second POI in the latter half of your time.
1-2. Acknowledge your opponent when they raise a POI.
How your opponent will raise a POI will depend on what style of debate you are using. There are many different styles of debate; however, they have many commonalities. Most often, your opponent will raise a POI by standing, raising their hand, and/or saying “Point of Information,” “POI,” “On that point,” or another accepted phrase.
You will usually have a period of time at the beginning and the end of your argument during which your opponent is restricted from raising POIs. The amount of time is determined by the style of debate you’re using.
1-3. Finish your sentence or thought before addressing the opponent’s POI.
Even when a POI is raised, remember that you are still the one in control. Do not let the opponent derail your argument by raising a POI. Address the POI once you’ve completed your sentence or idea.
1-4. Decline the POI if you believe a disruption will undermine the effectiveness of your argument.
If you are in the middle of a strong and passionate section of your argument, do not let a POI ruin your momentum. Also, do not accept a POI during a particularly weak section of your argument, which could be easily attacked by your opponents.
To decline a POI, you can verbally tell them you will not accept a POI at this time by saying, “No, thank you,” or “Not at this time, thank you.” Alternatively, you can wave them down by waving your hand in a gesture towards the ground. How you decline a POI is determined by your personal preference, but waving an opponent down may be less disruptive to the flow of your argument.
1-5. Accept the POI by saying “Accepted,” “Yes, please,” or “Go ahead.”
After you accept the POI, your opponent typically has no more than 15 seconds to raise their objection or question. If your opponent speaks for longer than the allotted time, ask them to sit down. POIs may be posed as a pointed question, a rhetorical question, or a concise statement. POIs commonly challenge an argument in one of three ways:
Pushing the premise of your argument to its logical extent. This strategies tries to force you to defend extreme examples. For example, “If you approve of advanced interrogation techniques, then you must approve of the use of waterboarding and other forms of torture.”
Questioning the credibility of a fact. In instances where your argument is dependent on certain facts, a POI that undermines the credibility of that fact could undermine your entire argument. This type of POI may be structure like this one: “You argue that lowering tax rates is effective in increasing a state’s overall tax revenue, but Smith showed that states which lowered tax rates had diminishing tax revenue.”
Proposing a baited contradiction. Common practice of this strategy takes the form of an opponent asking you to take a stance on an issue that he knows will be contradicted in his own or one of his teammate’s upcoming speeches. Such as, “Are you okay with lifting the embargo on Cuba?”
2. Responding to a POI
2-1. Answer the POI.
Once you’ve decided to accept a POI, you must respond to it, even if your speech will address the issue later in your time. Don’t dismiss the POI by saying “I’ll get to that later.” The argument you have planned may not directly answer the POI, or you may forget about it altogether. Instead, address the POI succinctly and say you will expand on those ideas later in your talk. How you respond to the POI should be dependent on the strategy your opponent used in posing it.
2-2. Keep your response within the scope of your original argument.
If the POI pushes the premise of your argument to its logical extent, remind your audience that the proposed scenario is beyond the scope of your argument. You could respond, “We are not talking about extreme forms of torture. Extended interrogation hours is acceptable within the guidelines of humane interrogations.”
2-3. Question the credibility of the POI’s facts.
If the POI questions the credibility of your facts, you may choose to respond to calling into question the opponent’s own sources. A response to this type of POI could be, “Smith’s study of tax revenue was soundly discounted by many leading economists, including Wilson, Lee, and Jones.”
2-4. Anticipate your opponent’s counterargument.
When responding to a potentially baited contradictions, keep your answer within the parameters of your argument and expect that your opponent’s counterargument will address this issue. You could say something like this: “Yes, the embargo against Cuba should be lifted, but only if and when the Cuban regime agrees to our terms.”
2-5. Remain confident even if you don’t know how to respond to a POI.
You will likely face a time when you are unable to respond to a POI because you do not know the answer to the question or cannot think of an adequate rebuttal. When possible, reiterate the positive aspects of your argument. Alternatively, point out the shortcomings of the question.
When you’re attacking the shortcomings of the POI, you could structure your response like this: “Your implication that extended interrogation hours is equivalent to waterboarding is ridiculous and totally blown out of proportion. We’re not talking about torture. We’re talking about giving police the necessary tools to acquire the most information about a crime as possible in a timely fashion.”
Don’t appear flustered by stalling with phrases like “Um” and “Uh, well, maybe.” Even a faulty POI can look strong if you become nervous and agitated while trying to respond.
2-6. Address the audience and judges.
When you are asked a POI, remember that you are still speaking to the audience. Don’t turn your attention to the opponent asking the POI. You are not having a private side-conversation with the opponent. Keep your body posture and voice level consistent with delivering the main body of your argument.
2-7. Do not walk towards your opponent as they deliver their POI.
Approaching your opponent while they are speaking can be perceived as an aggressive act, and the audience may believe you are trying to bully your opponent. Instead, maintain your position and focus on the content of the POI.
3. Resuming Your Argument
3-1. Respond to the POI concisely.
You have a set amount of time for your argument during a debate. Do not allow the opponent to knock you off your rhythm by giving a lengthy response to a POI. Address the point clearly, but briefly so that you can return to your prepared argument.
3-2. Make a note of where you are in your speech when you accept a POI.
If you have a pen in your hand, mark the point in your speech where you stopped to address the POI. If you do not have a pen handy, place your finger on the appropriate spot in your notes, or make a mental note of where you left off. This will help you quickly resume your argument, and you will not be fumbling with your notes trying to find where you left off.
3-3. Transition from the POI to your argument smoothly.
Remind the audience and the judges how the POI connects back to your argument at hand. Use transitional phrases like, “This connects back to what I was saying before,” or “I’m going to return to this idea in a moment.” Transitioning back to your ideas places the emphasis on your own argument as you move forward in your ideas.
Tips
Refuse a POI if you’ve already taken two. Taking too many POIs can undermine the effectiveness of your argument.
Practice POIs with your team as much as possible.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:01",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Deciding Whether to Answer or Decline a POI\\n1-1. Plan on when to accept POIs during your argument.\\nBefore giving your argument, determine where in your speech will be the best times to address POIs and only accept them during those times. The best time to accept POIs is during the parts of your speech where you are most confident and knowledgeable. Most debate formats will require you to take at least two POIs during your argument. There are advantages and disadvantages to taking both POIs at the beginning, at the end, or spreading them out.\\nTaking both POIs towards the beginning of your argument will get them out of your way, allowing you to focus on the substance of your idea for the rest of your time without worry of being interrupted. However, taking both POIs early can delay getting into the substance of your ideas and may create problems if you don’t manage your time well for the rest of your speech.\\nWaiting until the end of your speech to accept both POIs can be an advantage because they will come during the strongest times in your argument, giving you a position to answer them. However, delaying acceptance of any POIs until the end may discourage your opponents from asking them, leaving you with no POIs to answer.\\nSpreading POIs out between the first and last parts of your argument will demonstrate to the judges that you are comfortable addressing POIs at any point in your argument. However, don’t forget to address the second POI in the latter half of your time.\\n1-2. Acknowledge your opponent when they raise a POI.\\nHow your opponent will raise a POI will depend on what style of debate you are using. There are many different styles of debate; however, they have many commonalities. Most often, your opponent will raise a POI by standing, raising their hand, and/or saying “Point of Information,” “POI,” “On that point,” or another accepted phrase.\\nYou will usually have a period of time at the beginning and the end of your argument during which your opponent is restricted from raising POIs. The amount of time is determined by the style of debate you’re using.\\n1-3. Finish your sentence or thought before addressing the opponent’s POI.\\nEven when a POI is raised, remember that you are still the one in control. Do not let the opponent derail your argument by raising a POI. Address the POI once you’ve completed your sentence or idea.\\n1-4. Decline the POI if you believe a disruption will undermine the effectiveness of your argument.\\nIf you are in the middle of a strong and passionate section of your argument, do not let a POI ruin your momentum. Also, do not accept a POI during a particularly weak section of your argument, which could be easily attacked by your opponents.\\nTo decline a POI, you can verbally tell them you will not accept a POI at this time by saying, “No, thank you,” or “Not at this time, thank you.” Alternatively, you can wave them down by waving your hand in a gesture towards the ground. How you decline a POI is determined by your personal preference, but waving an opponent down may be less disruptive to the flow of your argument.\\n1-5. Accept the POI by saying “Accepted,” “Yes, please,” or “Go ahead.”\\nAfter you accept the POI, your opponent typically has no more than 15 seconds to raise their objection or question. If your opponent speaks for longer than the allotted time, ask them to sit down. POIs may be posed as a pointed question, a rhetorical question, or a concise statement. POIs commonly challenge an argument in one of three ways:\\nPushing the premise of your argument to its logical extent. This strategies tries to force you to defend extreme examples. For example, “If you approve of advanced interrogation techniques, then you must approve of the use of waterboarding and other forms of torture.”\\nQuestioning the credibility of a fact. In instances where your argument is dependent on certain facts, a POI that undermines the credibility of that fact could undermine your entire argument. This type of POI may be structure like this one: “You argue that lowering tax rates is effective in increasing a state’s overall tax revenue, but Smith showed that states which lowered tax rates had diminishing tax revenue.”\\nProposing a baited contradiction. Common practice of this strategy takes the form of an opponent asking you to take a stance on an issue that he knows will be contradicted in his own or one of his teammate’s upcoming speeches. Such as, “Are you okay with lifting the embargo on Cuba?”\\n2. Responding to a POI\\n2-1. Answer the POI.\\nOnce you’ve decided to accept a POI, you must respond to it, even if your speech will address the issue later in your time. Don’t dismiss the POI by saying “I’ll get to that later.” The argument you have planned may not directly answer the POI, or you may forget about it altogether. Instead, address the POI succinctly and say you will expand on those ideas later in your talk. How you respond to the POI should be dependent on the strategy your opponent used in posing it.\\n2-2. Keep your response within the scope of your original argument.\\nIf the POI pushes the premise of your argument to its logical extent, remind your audience that the proposed scenario is beyond the scope of your argument. You could respond, “We are not talking about extreme forms of torture. Extended interrogation hours is acceptable within the guidelines of humane interrogations.”\\n2-3. Question the credibility of the POI’s facts.\\nIf the POI questions the credibility of your facts, you may choose to respond to calling into question the opponent’s own sources. A response to this type of POI could be, “Smith’s study of tax revenue was soundly discounted by many leading economists, including Wilson, Lee, and Jones.”\\n2-4. Anticipate your opponent’s counterargument.\\nWhen responding to a potentially baited contradictions, keep your answer within the parameters of your argument and expect that your opponent’s counterargument will address this issue. You could say something like this: “Yes, the embargo against Cuba should be lifted, but only if and when the Cuban regime agrees to our terms.”\\n2-5. Remain confident even if you don’t know how to respond to a POI.\\nYou will likely face a time when you are unable to respond to a POI because you do not know the answer to the question or cannot think of an adequate rebuttal. When possible, reiterate the positive aspects of your argument. Alternatively, point out the shortcomings of the question.\\nWhen you’re attacking the shortcomings of the POI, you could structure your response like this: “Your implication that extended interrogation hours is equivalent to waterboarding is ridiculous and totally blown out of proportion. We’re not talking about torture. We’re talking about giving police the necessary tools to acquire the most information about a crime as possible in a timely fashion.”\\nDon’t appear flustered by stalling with phrases like “Um” and “Uh, well, maybe.” Even a faulty POI can look strong if you become nervous and agitated while trying to respond.\\n2-6. Address the audience and judges.\\nWhen you are asked a POI, remember that you are still speaking to the audience. Don’t turn your attention to the opponent asking the POI. You are not having a private side-conversation with the opponent. Keep your body posture and voice level consistent with delivering the main body of your argument.\\n2-7. Do not walk towards your opponent as they deliver their POI.\\nApproaching your opponent while they are speaking can be perceived as an aggressive act, and the audience may believe you are trying to bully your opponent. Instead, maintain your position and focus on the content of the POI.\\n3. Resuming Your Argument\\n3-1. Respond to the POI concisely.\\nYou have a set amount of time for your argument during a debate. Do not allow the opponent to knock you off your rhythm by giving a lengthy response to a POI. Address the point clearly, but briefly so that you can return to your prepared argument.\\n3-2. Make a note of where you are in your speech when you accept a POI.\\nIf you have a pen in your hand, mark the point in your speech where you stopped to address the POI. If you do not have a pen handy, place your finger on the appropriate spot in your notes, or make a mental note of where you left off. This will help you quickly resume your argument, and you will not be fumbling with your notes trying to find where you left off.\\n3-3. Transition from the POI to your argument smoothly.\\nRemind the audience and the judges how the POI connects back to your argument at hand. Use transitional phrases like, “This connects back to what I was saying before,” or “I’m going to return to this idea in a moment.” Transitioning back to your ideas places the emphasis on your own argument as you move forward in your ideas.\\nTips\\nRefuse a POI if you’ve already taken two. Taking too many POIs can undermine the effectiveness of your argument.\\nPractice POIs with your team as much as possible.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When delivering your argument in a formal debate, your opponent may challenge you to answer a Point of Information (POI). The POI may be in the form of a question or a statement, but it essentially asks the speaker to clarify something or to rebut a claim the speaker has made. Many debaters see the Points of Information (POIs) as the key difference between a speech and a debate, as POIs add the excitement of a fast back-and-forth exchange of ideas. POIs are an opportunity for your opponent to undermine your argument, but they also give you, the speaker, an opportunity to bolster your own position. While it is not required that you answer each POI, you may be penalized in a formal debate for not answering any.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Deciding Whether to Answer or Decline a POI\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Plan on when to accept POIs during your argument.\", \"描述\": \"Before giving your argument, determine where in your speech will be the best times to address POIs and only accept them during those times. The best time to accept POIs is during the parts of your speech where you are most confident and knowledgeable. Most debate formats will require you to take at least two POIs during your argument. There are advantages and disadvantages to taking both POIs at the beginning, at the end, or spreading them out.\\nTaking both POIs towards the beginning of your argument will get them out of your way, allowing you to focus on the substance of your idea for the rest of your time without worry of being interrupted. However, taking both POIs early can delay getting into the substance of your ideas and may create problems if you don’t manage your time well for the rest of your speech.\\nWaiting until the end of your speech to accept both POIs can be an advantage because they will come during the strongest times in your argument, giving you a position to answer them. However, delaying acceptance of any POIs until the end may discourage your opponents from asking them, leaving you with no POIs to answer.\\nSpreading POIs out between the first and last parts of your argument will demonstrate to the judges that you are comfortable addressing POIs at any point in your argument. However, don’t forget to address the second POI in the latter half of your time.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge your opponent when they raise a POI.\", \"描述\": \"How your opponent will raise a POI will depend on what style of debate you are using. There are many different styles of debate; however, they have many commonalities. Most often, your opponent will raise a POI by standing, raising their hand, and/or saying “Point of Information,” “POI,” “On that point,” or another accepted phrase.\\nYou will usually have a period of time at the beginning and the end of your argument during which your opponent is restricted from raising POIs. The amount of time is determined by the style of debate you’re using.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Finish your sentence or thought before addressing the opponent’s POI.\", \"描述\": \"Even when a POI is raised, remember that you are still the one in control. Do not let the opponent derail your argument by raising a POI. Address the POI once you’ve completed your sentence or idea.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Decline the POI if you believe a disruption will undermine the effectiveness of your argument.\", \"描述\": \"If you are in the middle of a strong and passionate section of your argument, do not let a POI ruin your momentum. Also, do not accept a POI during a particularly weak section of your argument, which could be easily attacked by your opponents.\\nTo decline a POI, you can verbally tell them you will not accept a POI at this time by saying, “No, thank you,” or “Not at this time, thank you.” Alternatively, you can wave them down by waving your hand in a gesture towards the ground. How you decline a POI is determined by your personal preference, but waving an opponent down may be less disruptive to the flow of your argument.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Accept the POI by saying “Accepted,” “Yes, please,” or “Go ahead.”\", \"描述\": \"After you accept the POI, your opponent typically has no more than 15 seconds to raise their objection or question. If your opponent speaks for longer than the allotted time, ask them to sit down. POIs may be posed as a pointed question, a rhetorical question, or a concise statement. POIs commonly challenge an argument in one of three ways:\\nPushing the premise of your argument to its logical extent. This strategies tries to force you to defend extreme examples. For example, “If you approve of advanced interrogation techniques, then you must approve of the use of waterboarding and other forms of torture.”\\nQuestioning the credibility of a fact. In instances where your argument is dependent on certain facts, a POI that undermines the credibility of that fact could undermine your entire argument. This type of POI may be structure like this one: “You argue that lowering tax rates is effective in increasing a state’s overall tax revenue, but Smith showed that states which lowered tax rates had diminishing tax revenue.”\\nProposing a baited contradiction. Common practice of this strategy takes the form of an opponent asking you to take a stance on an issue that he knows will be contradicted in his own or one of his teammate’s upcoming speeches. Such as, “Are you okay with lifting the embargo on Cuba?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Responding to a POI\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Answer the POI.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve decided to accept a POI, you must respond to it, even if your speech will address the issue later in your time. Don’t dismiss the POI by saying “I’ll get to that later.” The argument you have planned may not directly answer the POI, or you may forget about it altogether. Instead, address the POI succinctly and say you will expand on those ideas later in your talk. How you respond to the POI should be dependent on the strategy your opponent used in posing it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep your response within the scope of your original argument.\", \"描述\": \"If the POI pushes the premise of your argument to its logical extent, remind your audience that the proposed scenario is beyond the scope of your argument. You could respond, “We are not talking about extreme forms of torture. Extended interrogation hours is acceptable within the guidelines of humane interrogations.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Question the credibility of the POI’s facts.\", \"描述\": \"If the POI questions the credibility of your facts, you may choose to respond to calling into question the opponent’s own sources. A response to this type of POI could be, “Smith’s study of tax revenue was soundly discounted by many leading economists, including Wilson, Lee, and Jones.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Anticipate your opponent’s counterargument.\", \"描述\": \"When responding to a potentially baited contradictions, keep your answer within the parameters of your argument and expect that your opponent’s counterargument will address this issue. You could say something like this: “Yes, the embargo against Cuba should be lifted, but only if and when the Cuban regime agrees to our terms.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Remain confident even if you don’t know how to respond to a POI.\", \"描述\": \"You will likely face a time when you are unable to respond to a POI because you do not know the answer to the question or cannot think of an adequate rebuttal. When possible, reiterate the positive aspects of your argument. Alternatively, point out the shortcomings of the question.\\nWhen you’re attacking the shortcomings of the POI, you could structure your response like this: “Your implication that extended interrogation hours is equivalent to waterboarding is ridiculous and totally blown out of proportion. We’re not talking about torture. We’re talking about giving police the necessary tools to acquire the most information about a crime as possible in a timely fashion.”\\nDon’t appear flustered by stalling with phrases like “Um” and “Uh, well, maybe.” Even a faulty POI can look strong if you become nervous and agitated while trying to respond.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Address the audience and judges.\", \"描述\": \"When you are asked a POI, remember that you are still speaking to the audience. Don’t turn your attention to the opponent asking the POI. You are not having a private side-conversation with the opponent. Keep your body posture and voice level consistent with delivering the main body of your argument.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Do not walk towards your opponent as they deliver their POI.\", \"描述\": \"Approaching your opponent while they are speaking can be perceived as an aggressive act, and the audience may believe you are trying to bully your opponent. Instead, maintain your position and focus on the content of the POI.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Resuming Your Argument\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Respond to the POI concisely.\", \"描述\": \"You have a set amount of time for your argument during a debate. Do not allow the opponent to knock you off your rhythm by giving a lengthy response to a POI. Address the point clearly, but briefly so that you can return to your prepared argument.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make a note of where you are in your speech when you accept a POI.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a pen in your hand, mark the point in your speech where you stopped to address the POI. If you do not have a pen handy, place your finger on the appropriate spot in your notes, or make a mental note of where you left off. This will help you quickly resume your argument, and you will not be fumbling with your notes trying to find where you left off.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Transition from the POI to your argument smoothly.\", \"描述\": \"Remind the audience and the judges how the POI connects back to your argument at hand. Use transitional phrases like, “This connects back to what I was saying before,” or “I’m going to return to this idea in a moment.” Transitioning back to your ideas places the emphasis on your own argument as you move forward in your ideas.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Refuse a POI if you’ve already taken two. Taking too many POIs can undermine the effectiveness of your argument.\\n\", \"Practice POIs with your team as much as possible.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
1,737 | How to Answer Questions About Salary | 1. Bringing Up Salary Info During an Interview
1-1. Come prepared.
It is important to do your research ahead of time to figure out what salary range is appropriate to expect for someone with your experience, level of education, and specific skill set. You need to have some idea what the position is worth and what your skills are worth in order to navigate the compensation question during an interview.
You can search websites like salary.com, payscale.com, glassdoor.com, and others to find out information about what people are getting paid in equivalent positions.
You should also try asking around to various friends and colleagues, especially if they are in a related field, to figure out what an appropriate figure would be.
1-2. Avoid specific dollar amounts when possible.
If you are asked about compensation for previous employment, use specific dollar values only if the situation requires them, and do so in a strategic and thoughtful manner. You do not want to appear as though you are boasting or prying into someone else's business.
When in a professional setting such as an employment interview, avoid bringing up previous salary figures. Base your personal salary requirements on your education level, previous experience and skill set, and comparable industry statistics. Come prepared with updated and current data regarding average compensation for someone with your level of qualifications.
If the potential employer does ask you to provide a specific dollar value for a desired salary, be honest with your expectations. A common mistake occurs when employees propose a salary lower than they would really want to accept for fear of being turned away by the employer. Whether in a range or a single amount, a prospective employee should never offer an amount less than they are willing to take under the worst situation. A useful strategy is to offer a mid-range figure with the statement that is negotiable depending upon benefits, promotion opportunities, etc. That way, each party can save face.
1-3. Discuss other forms of compensation.
Let the interviewer know that salary requirements are not your only point of interest or concern. This will help you steer the conversation away from a discussion focused solely on dollar amounts. Express to the interviewer that aside from salary, other job-related issues such as career advancement, professional opportunities, or other benefits associated with the position are very important to you.
If a potential employer asks you to disclose the salary level of your current or previous position, do not be afraid to include all forms of compensation. This could include health benefits, 401(k) contributions, profit sharing, or other benefits in addition to your base salary. State the amount of your "total compensation" including the value of the benefits package.
There is nothing wrong with this strategy, so try not to consider it misleading. In return, be sure to consider all forms of compensation when comparing a competing salary offer to your current or previous position. Employee benefits are an often overlooked but significant portion of a salary offer.
2. Negotiating Raises and Compensation
2-1. Familiarize yourself with company policy.
While it is illegal in the United States to forbid employees from discussing salaries and compensation under the National Labor Relations Act, many businesses frown on such discussions and view it as a reprimandable offence.
This means that you could be punished at work for discussing your salary with other employees or inquiring about your colleagues’ salaries. You might not be fired for this, but you still don’t want to get reprimanded at work.
2-2. Give your boss time to prepare.
Since the discussion of money is a relatively sensitive topic, you don’t want to spring it on your boss as a surprise. They’ll need time to gather the necessary information (salary statistics, performance reviews, etc.) and to mull over what they want to discuss with you.
If you have an annual performance review meeting, this would be a great time to bring up the discussion. Otherwise, give your boss a heads up that you would like to schedule some time to discuss your performance and compensation.
2-3. Act confident, but not entitled.
Project an appearance of confidence and professionalism when the topic of salary negotiation arises. You want to show your boss evidence of why you feel that you have earned a raise, not simply that you feel you are entitled to one because a certain amount of time has passed since your last raise.
Being able to speak confidently and openly about salary expectations will show your employer or associate that you are professional and confident. Getting embarrassed or nervous when speaking about your salary may give the impression that you are not capable of discussing complex issues with coworkers.
Remember that compensation is not a "gift" from an employer, but a negotiated exchange of compensation for expected value to be received by employer. If the employer did not believe they would get that value, they would not make that offer.
2-4. Answer question efficiently.
Don’t try to give your boss a presentation about all the reasons you think you deserve a raise. Listen to your boss’s questions and comments and try to tailor your responses to what they want.
Don’t offer a lot of extra information or get emotional.
Try responses like, “I feel that I am a valuable asset to this company for reasons X, Y, and Z, and based on my contributions to the success of our business, I feel that I should get a raise.”
If your boss asks you for a specific dollar amount, aim high (but be aware of any salary ceilings). This means that your boss can counter with a lower offer that you both could be satisfied with.
2-5. Accept the outcome.
If your boss says no to your request for a salary increase, accept their answer. Don’t get visibly upset or start an argument. Once you confidently present your case, the rest is out of your hands.
Of course, you can also ask for other forms of compensation like more paid time off or other benefits.
Ask your boss for constructive criticism so that you can do a better job in the future and get the raise you want.
Don't burn bridges or quit even if you don't get the raise you feel you deserve. If you want to start looking elsewhere for a higher salary, remember that it is easier to find another position while employed than unemployed, so stick with your current job until you find something else.
3. Discussing Your Salary Socially
3-1. Deflect the conversation.
It is often considered a taboo to speak openly regarding specific figures of your salary, even among friends. If you are asked about your salary but don't wish to provide a specific dollar amount, simply make a generic response such as "modest" or even "considerable." It is also acceptable to calmly and confidently reply that you do not wish to discuss salary unless it is necessary.
This is an especially good tactic if revealing your salary would make you uncomfortable or if you believe it would cause tension between you and the person asking.
You might say something like, "I make about an average salary for someone with my job and experience."
3-2. Consider the consequences.
Discussing your income with a friend or family member who makes relatively close to the same amount as you is probably a harmless encounter; however, if you disclose your earnings to someone who makes significantly more or less than you, this could become a source of tension in your relationship in the future.
For example, feelings of resentment could arise if a friend discovers you make significantly more money than them. Or there could be disagreements over what activities you do together because one of you can afford it and the other can’t.
Additionally, people might judge your financial decisions more harshly when they know the specifics of your income. For example, your mother might chide you for buying a new car if she thinks your salary isn’t enough to support the decision.
3-3. Limit your discussions about compensation to business mentors and family.
Circumstances are always different from one person to the next. Your friend might be in a similar position and make more money than you, but that friend might also have additional skills or education that you lack. Keep in mind that information gained from awkward conversation is rarely reliable.
Consider simply talking generally about salary with those close to you. You can ask for advice on how to negotiate for more money (strategies that have worked for them and those that didn’t work so well) without needing to disclose specific numbers.
Tips
If you are ever in the situation of having to answer a question about your wishes for a salary amount in an email, we've got that covered too––see How to Answer Expected Salary in Email.
Warnings
Some employers may enforce disciplinary action on employees who disclose their personal salaries to other employees without permission. Refer to your employment contract or employee handbook to verify the expectations of your employer.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:02",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Bringing Up Salary Info During an Interview\\n1-1. Come prepared.\\nIt is important to do your research ahead of time to figure out what salary range is appropriate to expect for someone with your experience, level of education, and specific skill set. You need to have some idea what the position is worth and what your skills are worth in order to navigate the compensation question during an interview.\\nYou can search websites like salary.com, payscale.com, glassdoor.com, and others to find out information about what people are getting paid in equivalent positions.\\nYou should also try asking around to various friends and colleagues, especially if they are in a related field, to figure out what an appropriate figure would be.\\n1-2. Avoid specific dollar amounts when possible.\\nIf you are asked about compensation for previous employment, use specific dollar values only if the situation requires them, and do so in a strategic and thoughtful manner. You do not want to appear as though you are boasting or prying into someone else's business.\\nWhen in a professional setting such as an employment interview, avoid bringing up previous salary figures. Base your personal salary requirements on your education level, previous experience and skill set, and comparable industry statistics. Come prepared with updated and current data regarding average compensation for someone with your level of qualifications.\\nIf the potential employer does ask you to provide a specific dollar value for a desired salary, be honest with your expectations. A common mistake occurs when employees propose a salary lower than they would really want to accept for fear of being turned away by the employer. Whether in a range or a single amount, a prospective employee should never offer an amount less than they are willing to take under the worst situation. A useful strategy is to offer a mid-range figure with the statement that is negotiable depending upon benefits, promotion opportunities, etc. That way, each party can save face.\\n1-3. Discuss other forms of compensation.\\nLet the interviewer know that salary requirements are not your only point of interest or concern. This will help you steer the conversation away from a discussion focused solely on dollar amounts. Express to the interviewer that aside from salary, other job-related issues such as career advancement, professional opportunities, or other benefits associated with the position are very important to you.\\nIf a potential employer asks you to disclose the salary level of your current or previous position, do not be afraid to include all forms of compensation. This could include health benefits, 401(k) contributions, profit sharing, or other benefits in addition to your base salary. State the amount of your \\\"total compensation\\\" including the value of the benefits package.\\nThere is nothing wrong with this strategy, so try not to consider it misleading. In return, be sure to consider all forms of compensation when comparing a competing salary offer to your current or previous position. Employee benefits are an often overlooked but significant portion of a salary offer.\\n2. Negotiating Raises and Compensation\\n2-1. Familiarize yourself with company policy.\\nWhile it is illegal in the United States to forbid employees from discussing salaries and compensation under the National Labor Relations Act, many businesses frown on such discussions and view it as a reprimandable offence.\\nThis means that you could be punished at work for discussing your salary with other employees or inquiring about your colleagues’ salaries. You might not be fired for this, but you still don’t want to get reprimanded at work.\\n2-2. Give your boss time to prepare.\\nSince the discussion of money is a relatively sensitive topic, you don’t want to spring it on your boss as a surprise. They’ll need time to gather the necessary information (salary statistics, performance reviews, etc.) and to mull over what they want to discuss with you.\\nIf you have an annual performance review meeting, this would be a great time to bring up the discussion. Otherwise, give your boss a heads up that you would like to schedule some time to discuss your performance and compensation.\\n2-3. Act confident, but not entitled.\\nProject an appearance of confidence and professionalism when the topic of salary negotiation arises. You want to show your boss evidence of why you feel that you have earned a raise, not simply that you feel you are entitled to one because a certain amount of time has passed since your last raise. \\nBeing able to speak confidently and openly about salary expectations will show your employer or associate that you are professional and confident. Getting embarrassed or nervous when speaking about your salary may give the impression that you are not capable of discussing complex issues with coworkers.\\nRemember that compensation is not a \\\"gift\\\" from an employer, but a negotiated exchange of compensation for expected value to be received by employer. If the employer did not believe they would get that value, they would not make that offer.\\n2-4. Answer question efficiently.\\nDon’t try to give your boss a presentation about all the reasons you think you deserve a raise. Listen to your boss’s questions and comments and try to tailor your responses to what they want.\\nDon’t offer a lot of extra information or get emotional.\\nTry responses like, “I feel that I am a valuable asset to this company for reasons X, Y, and Z, and based on my contributions to the success of our business, I feel that I should get a raise.”\\nIf your boss asks you for a specific dollar amount, aim high (but be aware of any salary ceilings). This means that your boss can counter with a lower offer that you both could be satisfied with.\\n2-5. Accept the outcome.\\nIf your boss says no to your request for a salary increase, accept their answer. Don’t get visibly upset or start an argument. Once you confidently present your case, the rest is out of your hands.\\nOf course, you can also ask for other forms of compensation like more paid time off or other benefits.\\nAsk your boss for constructive criticism so that you can do a better job in the future and get the raise you want.\\nDon't burn bridges or quit even if you don't get the raise you feel you deserve. If you want to start looking elsewhere for a higher salary, remember that it is easier to find another position while employed than unemployed, so stick with your current job until you find something else.\\n3. Discussing Your Salary Socially\\n3-1. Deflect the conversation.\\nIt is often considered a taboo to speak openly regarding specific figures of your salary, even among friends. If you are asked about your salary but don't wish to provide a specific dollar amount, simply make a generic response such as \\\"modest\\\" or even \\\"considerable.\\\" It is also acceptable to calmly and confidently reply that you do not wish to discuss salary unless it is necessary.\\nThis is an especially good tactic if revealing your salary would make you uncomfortable or if you believe it would cause tension between you and the person asking.\\nYou might say something like, \\\"I make about an average salary for someone with my job and experience.\\\"\\n3-2. Consider the consequences.\\nDiscussing your income with a friend or family member who makes relatively close to the same amount as you is probably a harmless encounter; however, if you disclose your earnings to someone who makes significantly more or less than you, this could become a source of tension in your relationship in the future.\\nFor example, feelings of resentment could arise if a friend discovers you make significantly more money than them. Or there could be disagreements over what activities you do together because one of you can afford it and the other can’t.\\nAdditionally, people might judge your financial decisions more harshly when they know the specifics of your income. For example, your mother might chide you for buying a new car if she thinks your salary isn’t enough to support the decision.\\n3-3. Limit your discussions about compensation to business mentors and family.\\nCircumstances are always different from one person to the next. Your friend might be in a similar position and make more money than you, but that friend might also have additional skills or education that you lack. Keep in mind that information gained from awkward conversation is rarely reliable.\\nConsider simply talking generally about salary with those close to you. You can ask for advice on how to negotiate for more money (strategies that have worked for them and those that didn’t work so well) without needing to disclose specific numbers.\\nTips\\nIf you are ever in the situation of having to answer a question about your wishes for a salary amount in an email, we've got that covered too––see How to Answer Expected Salary in Email.\\nWarnings\\nSome employers may enforce disciplinary action on employees who disclose their personal salaries to other employees without permission. Refer to your employment contract or employee handbook to verify the expectations of your employer.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Answering questions about your salary can be a tricky topic to navigate because there are many social and professional taboos regarding discussions of money. Additionally, it can be awkward asking your boss for a raise or negotiating a salary amount during an interview, largely due to the fact that you typically want your boss or future employer to make the first offer. While discussions involving salary figures can be nerve-wracking and uncomfortable, being ready with specific talking points and prepared responses will help you answer questions about this financial topic with grace and confidence.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Bringing Up Salary Info During an Interview\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Come prepared.\", \"描述\": \"It is important to do your research ahead of time to figure out what salary range is appropriate to expect for someone with your experience, level of education, and specific skill set. You need to have some idea what the position is worth and what your skills are worth in order to navigate the compensation question during an interview.\\nYou can search websites like salary.com, payscale.com, glassdoor.com, and others to find out information about what people are getting paid in equivalent positions.\\nYou should also try asking around to various friends and colleagues, especially if they are in a related field, to figure out what an appropriate figure would be.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid specific dollar amounts when possible.\", \"描述\": \"If you are asked about compensation for previous employment, use specific dollar values only if the situation requires them, and do so in a strategic and thoughtful manner. You do not want to appear as though you are boasting or prying into someone else's business.\\nWhen in a professional setting such as an employment interview, avoid bringing up previous salary figures. Base your personal salary requirements on your education level, previous experience and skill set, and comparable industry statistics. Come prepared with updated and current data regarding average compensation for someone with your level of qualifications.\\nIf the potential employer does ask you to provide a specific dollar value for a desired salary, be honest with your expectations. A common mistake occurs when employees propose a salary lower than they would really want to accept for fear of being turned away by the employer. Whether in a range or a single amount, a prospective employee should never offer an amount less than they are willing to take under the worst situation. A useful strategy is to offer a mid-range figure with the statement that is negotiable depending upon benefits, promotion opportunities, etc. That way, each party can save face.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Discuss other forms of compensation.\", \"描述\": \"Let the interviewer know that salary requirements are not your only point of interest or concern. This will help you steer the conversation away from a discussion focused solely on dollar amounts. Express to the interviewer that aside from salary, other job-related issues such as career advancement, professional opportunities, or other benefits associated with the position are very important to you.\\nIf a potential employer asks you to disclose the salary level of your current or previous position, do not be afraid to include all forms of compensation. This could include health benefits, 401(k) contributions, profit sharing, or other benefits in addition to your base salary. State the amount of your \\\"total compensation\\\" including the value of the benefits package.\\nThere is nothing wrong with this strategy, so try not to consider it misleading. In return, be sure to consider all forms of compensation when comparing a competing salary offer to your current or previous position. Employee benefits are an often overlooked but significant portion of a salary offer.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Negotiating Raises and Compensation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Familiarize yourself with company policy.\", \"描述\": \"While it is illegal in the United States to forbid employees from discussing salaries and compensation under the National Labor Relations Act, many businesses frown on such discussions and view it as a reprimandable offence.\\nThis means that you could be punished at work for discussing your salary with other employees or inquiring about your colleagues’ salaries. You might not be fired for this, but you still don’t want to get reprimanded at work.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Give your boss time to prepare.\", \"描述\": \"Since the discussion of money is a relatively sensitive topic, you don’t want to spring it on your boss as a surprise. They’ll need time to gather the necessary information (salary statistics, performance reviews, etc.) and to mull over what they want to discuss with you.\\nIf you have an annual performance review meeting, this would be a great time to bring up the discussion. Otherwise, give your boss a heads up that you would like to schedule some time to discuss your performance and compensation.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Act confident, but not entitled.\", \"描述\": \"Project an appearance of confidence and professionalism when the topic of salary negotiation arises. You want to show your boss evidence of why you feel that you have earned a raise, not simply that you feel you are entitled to one because a certain amount of time has passed since your last raise. \\nBeing able to speak confidently and openly about salary expectations will show your employer or associate that you are professional and confident. Getting embarrassed or nervous when speaking about your salary may give the impression that you are not capable of discussing complex issues with coworkers.\\nRemember that compensation is not a \\\"gift\\\" from an employer, but a negotiated exchange of compensation for expected value to be received by employer. If the employer did not believe they would get that value, they would not make that offer.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Answer question efficiently.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t try to give your boss a presentation about all the reasons you think you deserve a raise. Listen to your boss’s questions and comments and try to tailor your responses to what they want.\\nDon’t offer a lot of extra information or get emotional.\\nTry responses like, “I feel that I am a valuable asset to this company for reasons X, Y, and Z, and based on my contributions to the success of our business, I feel that I should get a raise.”\\nIf your boss asks you for a specific dollar amount, aim high (but be aware of any salary ceilings). This means that your boss can counter with a lower offer that you both could be satisfied with.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Accept the outcome.\", \"描述\": \"If your boss says no to your request for a salary increase, accept their answer. Don’t get visibly upset or start an argument. Once you confidently present your case, the rest is out of your hands.\\nOf course, you can also ask for other forms of compensation like more paid time off or other benefits.\\nAsk your boss for constructive criticism so that you can do a better job in the future and get the raise you want.\\nDon't burn bridges or quit even if you don't get the raise you feel you deserve. If you want to start looking elsewhere for a higher salary, remember that it is easier to find another position while employed than unemployed, so stick with your current job until you find something else.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Discussing Your Salary Socially\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Deflect the conversation.\", \"描述\": \"It is often considered a taboo to speak openly regarding specific figures of your salary, even among friends. If you are asked about your salary but don't wish to provide a specific dollar amount, simply make a generic response such as \\\"modest\\\" or even \\\"considerable.\\\" It is also acceptable to calmly and confidently reply that you do not wish to discuss salary unless it is necessary.\\nThis is an especially good tactic if revealing your salary would make you uncomfortable or if you believe it would cause tension between you and the person asking.\\nYou might say something like, \\\"I make about an average salary for someone with my job and experience.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider the consequences.\", \"描述\": \"Discussing your income with a friend or family member who makes relatively close to the same amount as you is probably a harmless encounter; however, if you disclose your earnings to someone who makes significantly more or less than you, this could become a source of tension in your relationship in the future.\\nFor example, feelings of resentment could arise if a friend discovers you make significantly more money than them. Or there could be disagreements over what activities you do together because one of you can afford it and the other can’t.\\nAdditionally, people might judge your financial decisions more harshly when they know the specifics of your income. For example, your mother might chide you for buying a new car if she thinks your salary isn’t enough to support the decision.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Limit your discussions about compensation to business mentors and family.\", \"描述\": \"Circumstances are always different from one person to the next. Your friend might be in a similar position and make more money than you, but that friend might also have additional skills or education that you lack. Keep in mind that information gained from awkward conversation is rarely reliable.\\nConsider simply talking generally about salary with those close to you. You can ask for advice on how to negotiate for more money (strategies that have worked for them and those that didn’t work so well) without needing to disclose specific numbers.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you are ever in the situation of having to answer a question about your wishes for a salary amount in an email, we've got that covered too––see How to Answer Expected Salary in Email.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Some employers may enforce disciplinary action on employees who disclose their personal salaries to other employees without permission. Refer to your employment contract or employee handbook to verify the expectations of your employer.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,738 | How to Answer Questions About Self Harm Scars | 1. Choosing Your Response
1-1. Don’t feel obligated to talk about the scars.
Your scars are personal. If you don’t want to tell anyone how they occurred, you don’t have to. If someone asks about them, it’s okay to politely say that you’d rather not talk about it.
For instance, you could say something like, “I’d rather not talk about that,” or, “It’s a long story, but now isn’t the time to tell it.”
If you’re not comfortable discussing your scars, consider covering them up to avoid questions.
Be aware that refusing to discuss your scars may make people even more curious about them.
1-2. Give a brief, honest answer.
Honesty is often the best policy when it comes to explaining self-harm scars, but you don’t have to go into detail. Acknowledge the scars and mention that they were from a tough time in your past, then let the subject go. The person you’re talking to may drop the subject as well.
Keep in mind that most people are not knowledgeable about self-harming behavior and do not understand it, so they might respond in unhelpful ways. For example, they might try to force you to change, accuse you of doing it for attention, focus only on your injuries and scars, or refuse to acknowledge or discuss it with you. Prepare yourself for these types of reactions before you decide to share with someone.
You can say something simple and to-the-point like, “I cut myself when I was depressed several years ago, but I’m doing better now.” Then change the subject.
1-3. Explain your feelings, not the action of self-harm.
If you decide to tell a friend or family member the truth about your scars, focus on the emotions you were dealing with at the time. Don’t go into detail about the act of self-harm. They might find that information disturbing or hard to deal with.
For instance, don’t talk about which tool you used to cut yourself. Instead, say something like, “I felt really isolated and lonely back then, and this is how I dealt with it.”
1-4. Provide an age-appropriate answer to children.
Children may be more likely than adults to innocently ask where your scars came from. While you can be honest with them, make sure your answer is age-appropriate. Don’t go into details that might scare or disturb them. Instead, keep your answer short and simple, and then steer the conversation in another direction.
For instance, it’s generally okay to explain to a six-year-old what scars are. Since young children don’t understand complex issues like self-harm, though, don’t talk about hurting yourself. Instead, say you got the scars when you were sick.
However, for older adolescents or teens, you might give a bit more detail that like "I was really sad for a while and this is how I dealt with it. It wasn't the right decision, but I'm glad I've moved past it."
2. Deflecting the Question
2-1. Make an excuse.
If you’re faced with a question about your scars but don’t want to tell the truth, a white lie can sometimes take the pressure off. Blame your scars on an accident or mishap that happened long ago.
This only works if your scars look like they could have been caused by an accident.
For instance, if you have rows of scars that were clearly caused by self-harm, people probably won’t believe your story that your cat scratched you.
2-2. Divert the question.
You can take the pressure off yourself and build rapport with the person who’s talking to you by turning the question back around to them. Acknowledge your scars, and then say something like, “Do you have any scars?” or “Have you ever gone through a time that caused you a lot of pain?”
This approach is especially effective with children and teenagers, since it helps them relate to you.
2-3. Deflect with humor.
A light-hearted approach may be a best bet if you feel awkward about discussing your scars with strangers or loose acquaintances. In such situations, you can shake off the question humorously.
Say something that obviously isn’t true, such as, “I fought a dragon when I was a kid.” Laugh it off and change the subject as soon as possible.
Of course, self-harm isn't something to make light of, but this may be your only route to take if you'd rather not disclose personal info to a person or group.
3. Avoiding the Question Completely
3-1. Cover up with clothes.
The simplest way to avoid questions about your scars is to wear clothes that cover them. Long pants and long-sleeved shirts are an easy way to hide most of your skin.
If you are a woman, you may be able to stay cooler in the summer by wearing long skirts, sheer tights, and light cardigans.
For one-time events when you cannot cover up with clothes, consider using a professional concealer. You can get this from a dermatologist. Another option is to cover your arm with a light shawl.
3-2. Hide scars with makeup or body art.
If covering your scars with clothing isn’t an option, you can use body makeup to minimize their appearance. If you want to permanently cover the scars, consider getting a tattoo.
If you choose to use makeup, look for a heavy-duty concealer that’s designed to cover tattoos or scars. Many regular foundations don’t provide adequate coverage.
Do not put makeup on a scar until it is fully healed.
3-3. Consider medical treatments.
Ask your doctor about the best way to reduce the appearance of your scars. An over-the-counter topical treatment may be able to help fade smaller scars. For more severe cases, procedures such as dermabrasion and laser resurfacing can help smooth out the appearance of your skin.
Warnings
Remember, this is for self-harm scars, not cuts. If you're currently self-harming, talk to somebody and seek help immediately, especially if you're considering suicide. There are resources available to you when you need help. You can finds these at https://www.mentalhealth.gov/get-help/immediate-help/ For example, in the US, you can call 911 for immediate help if you are suicidal, or you can call or text 988 for crisis counseling 24/7.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:02",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Choosing Your Response\\n1-1. Don’t feel obligated to talk about the scars.\\nYour scars are personal. If you don’t want to tell anyone how they occurred, you don’t have to. If someone asks about them, it’s okay to politely say that you’d rather not talk about it.\\nFor instance, you could say something like, “I’d rather not talk about that,” or, “It’s a long story, but now isn’t the time to tell it.”\\nIf you’re not comfortable discussing your scars, consider covering them up to avoid questions.\\nBe aware that refusing to discuss your scars may make people even more curious about them.\\n1-2. Give a brief, honest answer.\\nHonesty is often the best policy when it comes to explaining self-harm scars, but you don’t have to go into detail. Acknowledge the scars and mention that they were from a tough time in your past, then let the subject go. The person you’re talking to may drop the subject as well.\\nKeep in mind that most people are not knowledgeable about self-harming behavior and do not understand it, so they might respond in unhelpful ways. For example, they might try to force you to change, accuse you of doing it for attention, focus only on your injuries and scars, or refuse to acknowledge or discuss it with you. Prepare yourself for these types of reactions before you decide to share with someone.\\nYou can say something simple and to-the-point like, “I cut myself when I was depressed several years ago, but I’m doing better now.” Then change the subject.\\n1-3. Explain your feelings, not the action of self-harm.\\nIf you decide to tell a friend or family member the truth about your scars, focus on the emotions you were dealing with at the time. Don’t go into detail about the act of self-harm. They might find that information disturbing or hard to deal with.\\nFor instance, don’t talk about which tool you used to cut yourself. Instead, say something like, “I felt really isolated and lonely back then, and this is how I dealt with it.”\\n1-4. Provide an age-appropriate answer to children.\\nChildren may be more likely than adults to innocently ask where your scars came from. While you can be honest with them, make sure your answer is age-appropriate. Don’t go into details that might scare or disturb them. Instead, keep your answer short and simple, and then steer the conversation in another direction.\\nFor instance, it’s generally okay to explain to a six-year-old what scars are. Since young children don’t understand complex issues like self-harm, though, don’t talk about hurting yourself. Instead, say you got the scars when you were sick.\\nHowever, for older adolescents or teens, you might give a bit more detail that like \\\"I was really sad for a while and this is how I dealt with it. It wasn't the right decision, but I'm glad I've moved past it.\\\"\\n2. Deflecting the Question\\n2-1. Make an excuse.\\nIf you’re faced with a question about your scars but don’t want to tell the truth, a white lie can sometimes take the pressure off. Blame your scars on an accident or mishap that happened long ago.\\nThis only works if your scars look like they could have been caused by an accident.\\nFor instance, if you have rows of scars that were clearly caused by self-harm, people probably won’t believe your story that your cat scratched you.\\n2-2. Divert the question.\\nYou can take the pressure off yourself and build rapport with the person who’s talking to you by turning the question back around to them. Acknowledge your scars, and then say something like, “Do you have any scars?” or “Have you ever gone through a time that caused you a lot of pain?”\\nThis approach is especially effective with children and teenagers, since it helps them relate to you.\\n2-3. Deflect with humor.\\nA light-hearted approach may be a best bet if you feel awkward about discussing your scars with strangers or loose acquaintances. In such situations, you can shake off the question humorously.\\nSay something that obviously isn’t true, such as, “I fought a dragon when I was a kid.” Laugh it off and change the subject as soon as possible.\\nOf course, self-harm isn't something to make light of, but this may be your only route to take if you'd rather not disclose personal info to a person or group.\\n3. Avoiding the Question Completely\\n3-1. Cover up with clothes.\\nThe simplest way to avoid questions about your scars is to wear clothes that cover them. Long pants and long-sleeved shirts are an easy way to hide most of your skin.\\nIf you are a woman, you may be able to stay cooler in the summer by wearing long skirts, sheer tights, and light cardigans.\\nFor one-time events when you cannot cover up with clothes, consider using a professional concealer. You can get this from a dermatologist. Another option is to cover your arm with a light shawl.\\n3-2. Hide scars with makeup or body art.\\nIf covering your scars with clothing isn’t an option, you can use body makeup to minimize their appearance. If you want to permanently cover the scars, consider getting a tattoo.\\nIf you choose to use makeup, look for a heavy-duty concealer that’s designed to cover tattoos or scars. Many regular foundations don’t provide adequate coverage.\\nDo not put makeup on a scar until it is fully healed.\\n3-3. Consider medical treatments.\\nAsk your doctor about the best way to reduce the appearance of your scars. An over-the-counter topical treatment may be able to help fade smaller scars. For more severe cases, procedures such as dermabrasion and laser resurfacing can help smooth out the appearance of your skin.\\nWarnings\\nRemember, this is for self-harm scars, not cuts. If you're currently self-harming, talk to somebody and seek help immediately, especially if you're considering suicide. There are resources available to you when you need help. You can finds these at https://www.mentalhealth.gov/get-help/immediate-help/ For example, in the US, you can call 911 for immediate help if you are suicidal, or you can call or text 988 for crisis counseling 24/7.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Self-harm still carries a stigma, and it can be difficult to know how to handle questions about your scars from well-meaning friends, family, and strangers. Depending on how you feel about your scars, there are a number of ways you can respond. Start by thinking about what you feel comfortable disclosing to people. If you would prefer not to answer questions at all, you can avoid the issue by deflecting the question or concealing your scars.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choosing Your Response\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t feel obligated to talk about the scars.\", \"描述\": \"Your scars are personal. If you don’t want to tell anyone how they occurred, you don’t have to. If someone asks about them, it’s okay to politely say that you’d rather not talk about it.\\nFor instance, you could say something like, “I’d rather not talk about that,” or, “It’s a long story, but now isn’t the time to tell it.”\\nIf you’re not comfortable discussing your scars, consider covering them up to avoid questions.\\nBe aware that refusing to discuss your scars may make people even more curious about them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Give a brief, honest answer.\", \"描述\": \"Honesty is often the best policy when it comes to explaining self-harm scars, but you don’t have to go into detail. Acknowledge the scars and mention that they were from a tough time in your past, then let the subject go. The person you’re talking to may drop the subject as well.\\nKeep in mind that most people are not knowledgeable about self-harming behavior and do not understand it, so they might respond in unhelpful ways. For example, they might try to force you to change, accuse you of doing it for attention, focus only on your injuries and scars, or refuse to acknowledge or discuss it with you. Prepare yourself for these types of reactions before you decide to share with someone.\\nYou can say something simple and to-the-point like, “I cut myself when I was depressed several years ago, but I’m doing better now.” Then change the subject.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Explain your feelings, not the action of self-harm.\", \"描述\": \"If you decide to tell a friend or family member the truth about your scars, focus on the emotions you were dealing with at the time. Don’t go into detail about the act of self-harm. They might find that information disturbing or hard to deal with.\\nFor instance, don’t talk about which tool you used to cut yourself. Instead, say something like, “I felt really isolated and lonely back then, and this is how I dealt with it.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Provide an age-appropriate answer to children.\", \"描述\": \"Children may be more likely than adults to innocently ask where your scars came from. While you can be honest with them, make sure your answer is age-appropriate. Don’t go into details that might scare or disturb them. Instead, keep your answer short and simple, and then steer the conversation in another direction.\\nFor instance, it’s generally okay to explain to a six-year-old what scars are. Since young children don’t understand complex issues like self-harm, though, don’t talk about hurting yourself. Instead, say you got the scars when you were sick.\\nHowever, for older adolescents or teens, you might give a bit more detail that like \\\"I was really sad for a while and this is how I dealt with it. It wasn't the right decision, but I'm glad I've moved past it.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Deflecting the Question\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make an excuse.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re faced with a question about your scars but don’t want to tell the truth, a white lie can sometimes take the pressure off. Blame your scars on an accident or mishap that happened long ago.\\nThis only works if your scars look like they could have been caused by an accident.\\nFor instance, if you have rows of scars that were clearly caused by self-harm, people probably won’t believe your story that your cat scratched you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Divert the question.\", \"描述\": \"You can take the pressure off yourself and build rapport with the person who’s talking to you by turning the question back around to them. Acknowledge your scars, and then say something like, “Do you have any scars?” or “Have you ever gone through a time that caused you a lot of pain?”\\nThis approach is especially effective with children and teenagers, since it helps them relate to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Deflect with humor.\", \"描述\": \"A light-hearted approach may be a best bet if you feel awkward about discussing your scars with strangers or loose acquaintances. In such situations, you can shake off the question humorously.\\nSay something that obviously isn’t true, such as, “I fought a dragon when I was a kid.” Laugh it off and change the subject as soon as possible.\\nOf course, self-harm isn't something to make light of, but this may be your only route to take if you'd rather not disclose personal info to a person or group.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoiding the Question Completely\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Cover up with clothes.\", \"描述\": \"The simplest way to avoid questions about your scars is to wear clothes that cover them. Long pants and long-sleeved shirts are an easy way to hide most of your skin.\\nIf you are a woman, you may be able to stay cooler in the summer by wearing long skirts, sheer tights, and light cardigans.\\nFor one-time events when you cannot cover up with clothes, consider using a professional concealer. You can get this from a dermatologist. Another option is to cover your arm with a light shawl.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Hide scars with makeup or body art.\", \"描述\": \"If covering your scars with clothing isn’t an option, you can use body makeup to minimize their appearance. If you want to permanently cover the scars, consider getting a tattoo.\\nIf you choose to use makeup, look for a heavy-duty concealer that’s designed to cover tattoos or scars. Many regular foundations don’t provide adequate coverage.\\nDo not put makeup on a scar until it is fully healed.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consider medical treatments.\", \"描述\": \"Ask your doctor about the best way to reduce the appearance of your scars. An over-the-counter topical treatment may be able to help fade smaller scars. For more severe cases, procedures such as dermabrasion and laser resurfacing can help smooth out the appearance of your skin.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Remember, this is for self-harm scars, not cuts. If you're currently self-harming, talk to somebody and seek help immediately, especially if you're considering suicide. There are resources available to you when you need help. You can finds these at https://www.mentalhealth.gov/get-help/immediate-help/ For example, in the US, you can call 911 for immediate help if you are suicidal, or you can call or text 988 for crisis counseling 24/7.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,739 | How to Answer Questions During a Traffic Stop | 1. Responding to the Flashing Lights
1-1. Pull over.
Whether the car is an easily identifiable police car or an unmarked car with police lights, it is important to pull over as soon as you can safely do so. Use your turn signals to identify that you are pulling over and make your way to the right-hand side of the road.
Do not make an erratic driving moves such as speeding up or slamming on the brakes.
Do not pull into the left-hand lane as it may appear that you are trying to get away.
1-2. Turn off the car.
As soon as you pull over, turn on the internal light, put your window down part way, and turn off the car. Once your window is down, place your hands on the steering wheel and do not move until after the police approach you.
When police officers approach your car, they are worried about their own personal safety. By placing your hands on the steering wheel and turning on the light, you are alleviating some level of fear that an officer may have as they approach your car.
Do not make any unnecessary movement. The officer may believe that you are trying to hide something illegal or increases their concern that their life may be at risk.
1-3. Provide your license and other documents.
Once the officer approaches your window, he or she may ask for your driver’s license, registration and proof of insurance. If your paperwork is in your pocket, glove compartment or bag, let the officer know that you need to retrieve those items. Once the officer gives his or her permission for you to proceed, slowly gather your documents and pass them through the partially opened window.
Do not get out of the vehicle unless you are instructed to by the officer.
2. Speaking with the Police
2-1. Be respectful.
While you may feel frustrated, angry, frightened, or any other emotions about the police pulling you over, it is important that you remain calm and treat the officer respectfully. Do not give the police any justification to extend the traffic stop any longer than it needs to be.
You should not flee from the police or touch the police officer.
Do not resist the police. If you place your hands on them or appear as if you are failing to comply with their orders, you can be charged with a crime. Even minor resistance is a misdemeanor.
2-2. Do not speak first.
Let the officer approach the car and let them take the lead in the stop. Most likely they will ask for your license and car registration.
As discussed above, if the documents are not readily accessible, tell the officer where they are located and ask permission to retrieve them.
2-3. Give noncommittal responses.
The officer may ask you some questions when he or she approaches your car and it is best to give very short answers or not answer at all. You should not argue with the police officer. Remember, both you and any passengers have the right to remain silent. If you choose to remain silent, tell the officer that you are asserting your right to remain silent. Below are a few examples of questions you may be asked.
The officer may ask, “Do you know why I pulled you over?” It is best to reply with a simple “no.”
You may be asked “do you know how fast you were going?” You can reply “yes I do,” but do not give any additional information.
If the officer tells you how fast she or he thinks you were going, do not argue but instead say something like “I see” or do not answer at all.
2-4. Comply with legal requirements.
Police officers have the right to view your driver’s license, proof of insurance and registration in a routine traffic stop. If the police ask for these items, you must comply.
You are not legally required to give the police any additional verbal responses or give them permission to search your car.
If the police order you out of your car, you must comply but, as discussed below, if they ask you, “do you mind if we look in your car, you can respectfully refuse.”
2-5. Refuse to give consent to search your car.
Some police officers will ask to search your car. You should politely refuse. The officer may state that he or she has probable cause to search your car, which means that they are legally justified in conducting the search. If the police officer orders you out of the car, comply with the request and do not argue.
Since you have already refused consent to search the car, a lawyer can challenge the search on legal grounds should you decide to pursue the case of if you have illegal contraband in your car.
If the officer asks you to step out of the car, he or she may pat you down to make sure that you are not carrying any weapons. Do not resist the pat down and do not act aggressively in any way.
2-6. Ask if you can leave.
Once the officer issues you a ticket or if they do not issue you a ticket but do not appear to be making any move to do so, you can respectfully ask whether you are allowed to leave. Unless you are under arrest or the officer is preparing your ticket, you have the right to leave the location.
2-7. Remain silent if arrested.
If your traffic stop turns into an arrest, do not say anything to the police other than requesting an attorney. The police may try to get to volunteer information but refuse to say anything.
3. Knowing Your Rights
3-1. Do not give consent to a search.
If the police ask your permission to search your car, you can politely refuse. The police do not need your consent to search your car if they have probable cause to believe that there is evidence of a crime in your car. If the police tell you step out of your car, you must comply. An officer can only search your car for the following reasons:
You gave your consent to search the car.
They have probable cause.
The officer has a reasonable fear for his or her safety and therefore searches your car for a hidden weapon.
The officer has a legally obtained search warrant.
After an arrest, an officer can search your car in search of evidence related to your arrest.
3-2. Record or film a traffic stop.
You have the right to film a traffic stop but you cannot interfere with the officer conducting the stop. Do not place the camera in the officer’s face or act disrespectfully.
3-3. Ask to leave if your stop seems overly long.
While the police have a right to pull you over and detain you, they do not have a legal right to detain you for an overly long time. If after 30 minutes the officer has not allowed you to leave or given you a reason why the process is taking so long, you can ask the officer when you will be able to leave.
3-4. Refuse to answer questions.
You have the legal right to not answer police questions. While answering questions may speed along the process of the traffic stop, you are not legally required to answer questions, especially if they are unrelated to the traffic stop.
3-5. Request officer information.
You have the right to request the police officer’s name and badge number, especially if you feel that your civil rights have been violated.
4. Identifying Yourself as a Person With a Concealed Carry Permit
4-1. Do not remove your seatbelt.
If you have a concealed weapon carry permit and you are armed during a traffic stop, you need to take steps to put the officer at ease. As discussed above, turn on the interior light, keep your hands on the steering wheel and keep your seatbelt on.
By having your hands clearly visible, you put the officer at ease as he or she approaches your vehicle.
4-2. Notify the officer of your permit and weapon.
When the officer approaches the car, calmly state: “Officer, I have a permit to carry concealed and I am currently carrying concealed now. How would you like me to proceed?”
It is very important that you don’t shout or state “I have a gun.” The officer will have not have any context for understanding your comment and may believe that you are making a threatening statement.
Not all states require you to notify a police officer of a concealed weapon. However, it may be the safest option so that there is no misunderstanding during the remainder of the traffic stop.
To view the state-by-state laws regarding concealed weapons visit: http://www.criminaldefenselawyer.com/topics/concealed-weapons-charges.
4-3. Do not move until instructed by the officer.
Once you have informed the officer of your weapon and permit, do not make any move until the officer gives you specific directions. This allows the officer time to collect his or her thoughts and allows the heightened situation to proceed calmly.
Do not gesture or make any move towards your weapon. Keep your hands firmly on the steering wheel until the officer tells you what to do.
4-4. Comply with the officer’s directions.
Follow any directions that the officer gives you with regard to your weapon and your permit. Even if you think the officer is overreacting and wants you to get out of the car, you should do so. Failure to listen to the officer can easily and quickly escalate a routine traffic stop.
Tips
Some people try to audio record their interaction with the police. You should only do so if it is safe, you can do it without looking suspicious or drawing any undue notice by the police.[20]
X
Research source
If you believe a police officer is abusing his or her power, try to remember as much as you can about the interaction and be sure to get the officer’s badge number or vehicle number.[21]
X
Research source
Try to remain calm during your interaction with the police. You can always fight a ticket in court.
Warnings
If you are pulled over by an unmarked car and a person not in uniform approaches you, you can ask to see their identification.
If a person pulls you over and they refuse or quickly flash their identification, you should keep your window most of the way up, your doors locked, and tell the officer you are uncomfortable and request that a second officer be called to the scene.
Ask the person to follow you to the nearest police station, if the person refuses all of your requests and the person becomes more aggressive by banging on the door or demanding that you get out of your car, call 911 from your cell phone.[22]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:02",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Responding to the Flashing Lights\\n1-1. Pull over.\\nWhether the car is an easily identifiable police car or an unmarked car with police lights, it is important to pull over as soon as you can safely do so. Use your turn signals to identify that you are pulling over and make your way to the right-hand side of the road.\\nDo not make an erratic driving moves such as speeding up or slamming on the brakes.\\nDo not pull into the left-hand lane as it may appear that you are trying to get away.\\n1-2. Turn off the car.\\nAs soon as you pull over, turn on the internal light, put your window down part way, and turn off the car. Once your window is down, place your hands on the steering wheel and do not move until after the police approach you.\\nWhen police officers approach your car, they are worried about their own personal safety. By placing your hands on the steering wheel and turning on the light, you are alleviating some level of fear that an officer may have as they approach your car.\\nDo not make any unnecessary movement. The officer may believe that you are trying to hide something illegal or increases their concern that their life may be at risk.\\n1-3. Provide your license and other documents.\\nOnce the officer approaches your window, he or she may ask for your driver’s license, registration and proof of insurance. If your paperwork is in your pocket, glove compartment or bag, let the officer know that you need to retrieve those items. Once the officer gives his or her permission for you to proceed, slowly gather your documents and pass them through the partially opened window.\\nDo not get out of the vehicle unless you are instructed to by the officer.\\n2. Speaking with the Police\\n2-1. Be respectful.\\nWhile you may feel frustrated, angry, frightened, or any other emotions about the police pulling you over, it is important that you remain calm and treat the officer respectfully. Do not give the police any justification to extend the traffic stop any longer than it needs to be.\\nYou should not flee from the police or touch the police officer.\\nDo not resist the police. If you place your hands on them or appear as if you are failing to comply with their orders, you can be charged with a crime. Even minor resistance is a misdemeanor.\\n2-2. Do not speak first.\\nLet the officer approach the car and let them take the lead in the stop. Most likely they will ask for your license and car registration.\\nAs discussed above, if the documents are not readily accessible, tell the officer where they are located and ask permission to retrieve them.\\n2-3. Give noncommittal responses.\\nThe officer may ask you some questions when he or she approaches your car and it is best to give very short answers or not answer at all. You should not argue with the police officer. Remember, both you and any passengers have the right to remain silent. If you choose to remain silent, tell the officer that you are asserting your right to remain silent. Below are a few examples of questions you may be asked.\\nThe officer may ask, “Do you know why I pulled you over?” It is best to reply with a simple “no.”\\nYou may be asked “do you know how fast you were going?” You can reply “yes I do,” but do not give any additional information.\\nIf the officer tells you how fast she or he thinks you were going, do not argue but instead say something like “I see” or do not answer at all.\\n2-4. Comply with legal requirements.\\nPolice officers have the right to view your driver’s license, proof of insurance and registration in a routine traffic stop. If the police ask for these items, you must comply.\\nYou are not legally required to give the police any additional verbal responses or give them permission to search your car.\\nIf the police order you out of your car, you must comply but, as discussed below, if they ask you, “do you mind if we look in your car, you can respectfully refuse.”\\n2-5. Refuse to give consent to search your car.\\nSome police officers will ask to search your car. You should politely refuse. The officer may state that he or she has probable cause to search your car, which means that they are legally justified in conducting the search. If the police officer orders you out of the car, comply with the request and do not argue.\\nSince you have already refused consent to search the car, a lawyer can challenge the search on legal grounds should you decide to pursue the case of if you have illegal contraband in your car.\\nIf the officer asks you to step out of the car, he or she may pat you down to make sure that you are not carrying any weapons. Do not resist the pat down and do not act aggressively in any way.\\n2-6. Ask if you can leave.\\nOnce the officer issues you a ticket or if they do not issue you a ticket but do not appear to be making any move to do so, you can respectfully ask whether you are allowed to leave. Unless you are under arrest or the officer is preparing your ticket, you have the right to leave the location.\\n2-7. Remain silent if arrested.\\nIf your traffic stop turns into an arrest, do not say anything to the police other than requesting an attorney. The police may try to get to volunteer information but refuse to say anything.\\n3. Knowing Your Rights\\n3-1. Do not give consent to a search.\\nIf the police ask your permission to search your car, you can politely refuse. The police do not need your consent to search your car if they have probable cause to believe that there is evidence of a crime in your car. If the police tell you step out of your car, you must comply. An officer can only search your car for the following reasons:\\nYou gave your consent to search the car.\\nThey have probable cause.\\nThe officer has a reasonable fear for his or her safety and therefore searches your car for a hidden weapon.\\nThe officer has a legally obtained search warrant.\\nAfter an arrest, an officer can search your car in search of evidence related to your arrest.\\n3-2. Record or film a traffic stop.\\nYou have the right to film a traffic stop but you cannot interfere with the officer conducting the stop. Do not place the camera in the officer’s face or act disrespectfully.\\n3-3. Ask to leave if your stop seems overly long.\\nWhile the police have a right to pull you over and detain you, they do not have a legal right to detain you for an overly long time. If after 30 minutes the officer has not allowed you to leave or given you a reason why the process is taking so long, you can ask the officer when you will be able to leave.\\n3-4. Refuse to answer questions.\\nYou have the legal right to not answer police questions. While answering questions may speed along the process of the traffic stop, you are not legally required to answer questions, especially if they are unrelated to the traffic stop.\\n3-5. Request officer information.\\nYou have the right to request the police officer’s name and badge number, especially if you feel that your civil rights have been violated.\\n4. Identifying Yourself as a Person With a Concealed Carry Permit\\n4-1. Do not remove your seatbelt.\\nIf you have a concealed weapon carry permit and you are armed during a traffic stop, you need to take steps to put the officer at ease. As discussed above, turn on the interior light, keep your hands on the steering wheel and keep your seatbelt on.\\nBy having your hands clearly visible, you put the officer at ease as he or she approaches your vehicle.\\n4-2. Notify the officer of your permit and weapon.\\nWhen the officer approaches the car, calmly state: “Officer, I have a permit to carry concealed and I am currently carrying concealed now. How would you like me to proceed?”\\nIt is very important that you don’t shout or state “I have a gun.” The officer will have not have any context for understanding your comment and may believe that you are making a threatening statement.\\nNot all states require you to notify a police officer of a concealed weapon. However, it may be the safest option so that there is no misunderstanding during the remainder of the traffic stop.\\nTo view the state-by-state laws regarding concealed weapons visit: http://www.criminaldefenselawyer.com/topics/concealed-weapons-charges.\\n4-3. Do not move until instructed by the officer.\\nOnce you have informed the officer of your weapon and permit, do not make any move until the officer gives you specific directions. This allows the officer time to collect his or her thoughts and allows the heightened situation to proceed calmly.\\nDo not gesture or make any move towards your weapon. Keep your hands firmly on the steering wheel until the officer tells you what to do.\\n4-4. Comply with the officer’s directions.\\nFollow any directions that the officer gives you with regard to your weapon and your permit. Even if you think the officer is overreacting and wants you to get out of the car, you should do so. Failure to listen to the officer can easily and quickly escalate a routine traffic stop.\\nTips\\nSome people try to audio record their interaction with the police. You should only do so if it is safe, you can do it without looking suspicious or drawing any undue notice by the police.[20]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nIf you believe a police officer is abusing his or her power, try to remember as much as you can about the interaction and be sure to get the officer’s badge number or vehicle number.[21]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nTry to remain calm during your interaction with the police. You can always fight a ticket in court.\\nWarnings\\nIf you are pulled over by an unmarked car and a person not in uniform approaches you, you can ask to see their identification.\\nIf a person pulls you over and they refuse or quickly flash their identification, you should keep your window most of the way up, your doors locked, and tell the officer you are uncomfortable and request that a second officer be called to the scene.\\nAsk the person to follow you to the nearest police station, if the person refuses all of your requests and the person becomes more aggressive by banging on the door or demanding that you get out of your car, call 911 from your cell phone.[22]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When the police pull you over for an alleged traffic violation, you may experience a number of different emotions, including anger, fear, embarrassment or frustration. It is important that you respond appropriately for your own personal safety. Even if you feel that the stop was unjustified, you should not debate the issue with the police but rather fight the ticket in court at a later time. You do have the right to respectfully refuse to give the police consent to search your car. During the traffic stop, be respectful, do not offer any additional information, and keep your hands visible at all times.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Responding to the Flashing Lights\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pull over.\", \"描述\": \"Whether the car is an easily identifiable police car or an unmarked car with police lights, it is important to pull over as soon as you can safely do so. Use your turn signals to identify that you are pulling over and make your way to the right-hand side of the road.\\nDo not make an erratic driving moves such as speeding up or slamming on the brakes.\\nDo not pull into the left-hand lane as it may appear that you are trying to get away.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Turn off the car.\", \"描述\": \"As soon as you pull over, turn on the internal light, put your window down part way, and turn off the car. Once your window is down, place your hands on the steering wheel and do not move until after the police approach you.\\nWhen police officers approach your car, they are worried about their own personal safety. By placing your hands on the steering wheel and turning on the light, you are alleviating some level of fear that an officer may have as they approach your car.\\nDo not make any unnecessary movement. The officer may believe that you are trying to hide something illegal or increases their concern that their life may be at risk.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Provide your license and other documents.\", \"描述\": \"Once the officer approaches your window, he or she may ask for your driver’s license, registration and proof of insurance. If your paperwork is in your pocket, glove compartment or bag, let the officer know that you need to retrieve those items. Once the officer gives his or her permission for you to proceed, slowly gather your documents and pass them through the partially opened window.\\nDo not get out of the vehicle unless you are instructed to by the officer.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Speaking with the Police\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be respectful.\", \"描述\": \"While you may feel frustrated, angry, frightened, or any other emotions about the police pulling you over, it is important that you remain calm and treat the officer respectfully. Do not give the police any justification to extend the traffic stop any longer than it needs to be.\\nYou should not flee from the police or touch the police officer.\\nDo not resist the police. If you place your hands on them or appear as if you are failing to comply with their orders, you can be charged with a crime. Even minor resistance is a misdemeanor.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do not speak first.\", \"描述\": \"Let the officer approach the car and let them take the lead in the stop. Most likely they will ask for your license and car registration.\\nAs discussed above, if the documents are not readily accessible, tell the officer where they are located and ask permission to retrieve them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give noncommittal responses.\", \"描述\": \"The officer may ask you some questions when he or she approaches your car and it is best to give very short answers or not answer at all. You should not argue with the police officer. Remember, both you and any passengers have the right to remain silent. If you choose to remain silent, tell the officer that you are asserting your right to remain silent. Below are a few examples of questions you may be asked.\\nThe officer may ask, “Do you know why I pulled you over?” It is best to reply with a simple “no.”\\nYou may be asked “do you know how fast you were going?” You can reply “yes I do,” but do not give any additional information.\\nIf the officer tells you how fast she or he thinks you were going, do not argue but instead say something like “I see” or do not answer at all.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Comply with legal requirements.\", \"描述\": \"Police officers have the right to view your driver’s license, proof of insurance and registration in a routine traffic stop. If the police ask for these items, you must comply.\\nYou are not legally required to give the police any additional verbal responses or give them permission to search your car.\\nIf the police order you out of your car, you must comply but, as discussed below, if they ask you, “do you mind if we look in your car, you can respectfully refuse.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Refuse to give consent to search your car.\", \"描述\": \"Some police officers will ask to search your car. You should politely refuse. The officer may state that he or she has probable cause to search your car, which means that they are legally justified in conducting the search. If the police officer orders you out of the car, comply with the request and do not argue.\\nSince you have already refused consent to search the car, a lawyer can challenge the search on legal grounds should you decide to pursue the case of if you have illegal contraband in your car.\\nIf the officer asks you to step out of the car, he or she may pat you down to make sure that you are not carrying any weapons. Do not resist the pat down and do not act aggressively in any way.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask if you can leave.\", \"描述\": \"Once the officer issues you a ticket or if they do not issue you a ticket but do not appear to be making any move to do so, you can respectfully ask whether you are allowed to leave. Unless you are under arrest or the officer is preparing your ticket, you have the right to leave the location.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Remain silent if arrested.\", \"描述\": \"If your traffic stop turns into an arrest, do not say anything to the police other than requesting an attorney. The police may try to get to volunteer information but refuse to say anything.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Knowing Your Rights\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do not give consent to a search.\", \"描述\": \"If the police ask your permission to search your car, you can politely refuse. The police do not need your consent to search your car if they have probable cause to believe that there is evidence of a crime in your car. If the police tell you step out of your car, you must comply. An officer can only search your car for the following reasons:\\nYou gave your consent to search the car.\\nThey have probable cause.\\nThe officer has a reasonable fear for his or her safety and therefore searches your car for a hidden weapon.\\nThe officer has a legally obtained search warrant.\\nAfter an arrest, an officer can search your car in search of evidence related to your arrest.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Record or film a traffic stop.\", \"描述\": \"You have the right to film a traffic stop but you cannot interfere with the officer conducting the stop. Do not place the camera in the officer’s face or act disrespectfully.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask to leave if your stop seems overly long.\", \"描述\": \"While the police have a right to pull you over and detain you, they do not have a legal right to detain you for an overly long time. If after 30 minutes the officer has not allowed you to leave or given you a reason why the process is taking so long, you can ask the officer when you will be able to leave.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Refuse to answer questions.\", \"描述\": \"You have the legal right to not answer police questions. While answering questions may speed along the process of the traffic stop, you are not legally required to answer questions, especially if they are unrelated to the traffic stop.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Request officer information.\", \"描述\": \"You have the right to request the police officer’s name and badge number, especially if you feel that your civil rights have been violated.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Identifying Yourself as a Person With a Concealed Carry Permit\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do not remove your seatbelt.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a concealed weapon carry permit and you are armed during a traffic stop, you need to take steps to put the officer at ease. As discussed above, turn on the interior light, keep your hands on the steering wheel and keep your seatbelt on.\\nBy having your hands clearly visible, you put the officer at ease as he or she approaches your vehicle.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Notify the officer of your permit and weapon.\", \"描述\": \"When the officer approaches the car, calmly state: “Officer, I have a permit to carry concealed and I am currently carrying concealed now. How would you like me to proceed?”\\nIt is very important that you don’t shout or state “I have a gun.” The officer will have not have any context for understanding your comment and may believe that you are making a threatening statement.\\nNot all states require you to notify a police officer of a concealed weapon. However, it may be the safest option so that there is no misunderstanding during the remainder of the traffic stop.\\nTo view the state-by-state laws regarding concealed weapons visit: http://www.criminaldefenselawyer.com/topics/concealed-weapons-charges.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do not move until instructed by the officer.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have informed the officer of your weapon and permit, do not make any move until the officer gives you specific directions. This allows the officer time to collect his or her thoughts and allows the heightened situation to proceed calmly.\\nDo not gesture or make any move towards your weapon. Keep your hands firmly on the steering wheel until the officer tells you what to do.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Comply with the officer’s directions.\", \"描述\": \"Follow any directions that the officer gives you with regard to your weapon and your permit. Even if you think the officer is overreacting and wants you to get out of the car, you should do so. Failure to listen to the officer can easily and quickly escalate a routine traffic stop.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Some people try to audio record their interaction with the police. You should only do so if it is safe, you can do it without looking suspicious or drawing any undue notice by the police.[20]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"If you believe a police officer is abusing his or her power, try to remember as much as you can about the interaction and be sure to get the officer’s badge number or vehicle number.[21]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Try to remain calm during your interaction with the police. You can always fight a ticket in court.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If you are pulled over by an unmarked car and a person not in uniform approaches you, you can ask to see their identification.\\n\", \"If a person pulls you over and they refuse or quickly flash their identification, you should keep your window most of the way up, your doors locked, and tell the officer you are uncomfortable and request that a second officer be called to the scene.\\n\", \"Ask the person to follow you to the nearest police station, if the person refuses all of your requests and the person becomes more aggressive by banging on the door or demanding that you get out of your car, call 911 from your cell phone.[22]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,740 | How to Answer Questions on a Structured Oral Interview | 1. Steps
1-1. Prepare.
If you received a list of the questions for the interview you have time to prepare your answers. Write your answers down for each question and memorize them. If you have memorized your answers you will be able to voice them in the interview with poise and confidence.If you do not receive a list of the questions before your interview you can prepare by asking yourself questions you think might be asked.
If this is a job interview for a specific position, ask yourself questions you think they might ask that would be relevant to the position and industry.
Write down your answers and memorize important sentences and words that have significance to the subject.
1-2. Research.
Do research on the topic of your interview - even if you do not know what questions are going to be asked. Researching will provide information you may not have known about the topic/industry and can help structure answers. Doing research will also show the interviewer you took time and effort in preparing for and better understanding the topic.
Researching can also lead to questions you may have for the interviewer after their questions are completed and it is now your turn.
1-3. Listen.
Some people tend to become overwhelmed in oral interviews and they forget to actually listen to the interviewer. Listening to every word of the question is very important and can help structure your answer. Listen for terms that sound familiar from your research… this can impress the interviewer if you answer using information from those terms.
1-4. Ask questions yourself.
If you are confused about what the interviewer is asking in a particular question it is OK to ask for clarification. This can help you fully understand a question instead of assuming you can answer it correctly.
1-5. Take your time.
Questions do not need to be answered immediately. Take your time and get your thoughts organized in your head before responding to the question. Some tricks to gain some time are:
Take a deep breath. Breathing stimulates the brain and calms nerves allowing you to devise words in a collected manner.
Smile and nod. Smiling releases tension and produces relaxing feelings in both the interviewee and interviewer, while nodding lets the interviewer know you were paying attention and understand the question that was presented.
1-6. Keep eye contact.
Keeping eye contact will let the interviewer know you are paying attention, alert and not easily distracted. Keeping eye contact can also help in understanding the question as you will have undivided attention to what is being said and will help keep your mind from wandering.
1-7. Avoid sentence fillers.
Avoid words such as “like”, “um” and “you know”. We often utter these words unconsciously when we are thinking of what to say next but they unfortunately weaken the structure of sentences. Words and sentences can be much stronger and have a greater effect if these sentence fillers are avoided as much as possible.
1-8. Have a confident appearance.
Although oral interviews are based on questions and answers it is always important to remember body language. Going into an interview with confidence will enhance your posture all the while relaxing your body and mind.
Tips
Avoid sentence fillers
Have a confident appearance
Listen
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:02",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Prepare.\\nIf you received a list of the questions for the interview you have time to prepare your answers. Write your answers down for each question and memorize them. If you have memorized your answers you will be able to voice them in the interview with poise and confidence.If you do not receive a list of the questions before your interview you can prepare by asking yourself questions you think might be asked.\\nIf this is a job interview for a specific position, ask yourself questions you think they might ask that would be relevant to the position and industry.\\nWrite down your answers and memorize important sentences and words that have significance to the subject.\\n1-2. Research.\\nDo research on the topic of your interview - even if you do not know what questions are going to be asked. Researching will provide information you may not have known about the topic/industry and can help structure answers. Doing research will also show the interviewer you took time and effort in preparing for and better understanding the topic.\\nResearching can also lead to questions you may have for the interviewer after their questions are completed and it is now your turn.\\n1-3. Listen.\\nSome people tend to become overwhelmed in oral interviews and they forget to actually listen to the interviewer. Listening to every word of the question is very important and can help structure your answer. Listen for terms that sound familiar from your research… this can impress the interviewer if you answer using information from those terms.\\n1-4. Ask questions yourself.\\nIf you are confused about what the interviewer is asking in a particular question it is OK to ask for clarification. This can help you fully understand a question instead of assuming you can answer it correctly.\\n1-5. Take your time.\\nQuestions do not need to be answered immediately. Take your time and get your thoughts organized in your head before responding to the question. Some tricks to gain some time are:\\nTake a deep breath. Breathing stimulates the brain and calms nerves allowing you to devise words in a collected manner.\\nSmile and nod. Smiling releases tension and produces relaxing feelings in both the interviewee and interviewer, while nodding lets the interviewer know you were paying attention and understand the question that was presented.\\n1-6. Keep eye contact.\\nKeeping eye contact will let the interviewer know you are paying attention, alert and not easily distracted. Keeping eye contact can also help in understanding the question as you will have undivided attention to what is being said and will help keep your mind from wandering.\\n1-7. Avoid sentence fillers.\\nAvoid words such as “like”, “um” and “you know”. We often utter these words unconsciously when we are thinking of what to say next but they unfortunately weaken the structure of sentences. Words and sentences can be much stronger and have a greater effect if these sentence fillers are avoided as much as possible.\\n1-8. Have a confident appearance.\\nAlthough oral interviews are based on questions and answers it is always important to remember body language. Going into an interview with confidence will enhance your posture all the while relaxing your body and mind.\\nTips\\nAvoid sentence fillers\\nHave a confident appearance\\nListen\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Oral interviews can be extremely nerve wracking, especially if you do not know the questions that are going to be asked beforehand. In some situations, the interviewer might provide the questions before your interview allowing you time to prepare. In most cases, however, they do not and you are left not knowing what will be said. Here are a few steps to help you through either situation.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Prepare.\", \"描述\": \"If you received a list of the questions for the interview you have time to prepare your answers. Write your answers down for each question and memorize them. If you have memorized your answers you will be able to voice them in the interview with poise and confidence.If you do not receive a list of the questions before your interview you can prepare by asking yourself questions you think might be asked.\\nIf this is a job interview for a specific position, ask yourself questions you think they might ask that would be relevant to the position and industry.\\nWrite down your answers and memorize important sentences and words that have significance to the subject.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Research.\", \"描述\": \"Do research on the topic of your interview - even if you do not know what questions are going to be asked. Researching will provide information you may not have known about the topic/industry and can help structure answers. Doing research will also show the interviewer you took time and effort in preparing for and better understanding the topic.\\nResearching can also lead to questions you may have for the interviewer after their questions are completed and it is now your turn.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Listen.\", \"描述\": \"Some people tend to become overwhelmed in oral interviews and they forget to actually listen to the interviewer. Listening to every word of the question is very important and can help structure your answer. Listen for terms that sound familiar from your research… this can impress the interviewer if you answer using information from those terms.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask questions yourself.\", \"描述\": \"If you are confused about what the interviewer is asking in a particular question it is OK to ask for clarification. This can help you fully understand a question instead of assuming you can answer it correctly.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take your time.\", \"描述\": \"Questions do not need to be answered immediately. Take your time and get your thoughts organized in your head before responding to the question. Some tricks to gain some time are:\\nTake a deep breath. Breathing stimulates the brain and calms nerves allowing you to devise words in a collected manner.\\nSmile and nod. Smiling releases tension and produces relaxing feelings in both the interviewee and interviewer, while nodding lets the interviewer know you were paying attention and understand the question that was presented.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Keep eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"Keeping eye contact will let the interviewer know you are paying attention, alert and not easily distracted. Keeping eye contact can also help in understanding the question as you will have undivided attention to what is being said and will help keep your mind from wandering.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Avoid sentence fillers.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid words such as “like”, “um” and “you know”. We often utter these words unconsciously when we are thinking of what to say next but they unfortunately weaken the structure of sentences. Words and sentences can be much stronger and have a greater effect if these sentence fillers are avoided as much as possible.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Have a confident appearance.\", \"描述\": \"Although oral interviews are based on questions and answers it is always important to remember body language. Going into an interview with confidence will enhance your posture all the while relaxing your body and mind.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Avoid sentence fillers\\n\", \"Have a confident appearance\\n\", \"Listen\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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1,741 | How to Answer Questions over Email Professionally | 1. Steps
1-1. Reply promptly to the email.
When you receive the e-mail, do not wait for days or weeks to respond to it. This might be upsetting to the sender, and be unprofessional, especially in a workplace setting. If you do not know the answer to a question, you can ask someone else who might know the answer. For instance, if someone asks you if school supplies are required or just for donation, write back with something like this: "I do not know if school supplies are required, but I have asked our supervisor about this, and will follow up with you as soon as possible."
1-2. Know how to politely ask for clarification.
If you do not understand what the sender is asking, you can ask him or her to clarify. You can try writing a polite and professional note like this: "I am sorry, but I do not understand what you are asking. Would you please elaborate?" The sender is likely to respond with elaboration of his/her question, so that you can answer it.
1-3. Use proper spelling and grammar
This goes without saying. Many people on the Internet use improper grammar, which is very unprofessional, especially in an e-mail to someone. If you're not a good speller, try using an online spell check resource so that your spelling is correct. You should also read up on how to use proper English punctuation.
1-4. Include the original question that the sender asked.
Try to reshape this question into an answer instead of replying to an e-mail. This is especially important if the sender is asking a closed-ended question (such as a yes/no question, or a multiple-option question in which you would need to answer with a certain option). For instance, if the sender asked you "Does school start next Tuesday?" do not just reply with "Yes". Reply with "Yes, school starts next Tuesday".
In face-to-face conversation, people usually answer closed-ended questions with one word, but e-mail is different. It can be confusing to the sender when you reply to a closed-ended question with one word, since the sender will have to scroll down to find his or her original question.
1-5. Proofread your email before sending it
It can be easy not to catch small typos or accidental grammar/spelling mistakes. These things can be avoided through proofreading.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:02",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Reply promptly to the email.\\nWhen you receive the e-mail, do not wait for days or weeks to respond to it. This might be upsetting to the sender, and be unprofessional, especially in a workplace setting. If you do not know the answer to a question, you can ask someone else who might know the answer. For instance, if someone asks you if school supplies are required or just for donation, write back with something like this: \\\"I do not know if school supplies are required, but I have asked our supervisor about this, and will follow up with you as soon as possible.\\\"\\n1-2. Know how to politely ask for clarification.\\nIf you do not understand what the sender is asking, you can ask him or her to clarify. You can try writing a polite and professional note like this: \\\"I am sorry, but I do not understand what you are asking. Would you please elaborate?\\\" The sender is likely to respond with elaboration of his/her question, so that you can answer it.\\n1-3. Use proper spelling and grammar\\nThis goes without saying. Many people on the Internet use improper grammar, which is very unprofessional, especially in an e-mail to someone. If you're not a good speller, try using an online spell check resource so that your spelling is correct. You should also read up on how to use proper English punctuation.\\n1-4. Include the original question that the sender asked.\\nTry to reshape this question into an answer instead of replying to an e-mail. This is especially important if the sender is asking a closed-ended question (such as a yes/no question, or a multiple-option question in which you would need to answer with a certain option). For instance, if the sender asked you \\\"Does school start next Tuesday?\\\" do not just reply with \\\"Yes\\\". Reply with \\\"Yes, school starts next Tuesday\\\".\\nIn face-to-face conversation, people usually answer closed-ended questions with one word, but e-mail is different. It can be confusing to the sender when you reply to a closed-ended question with one word, since the sender will have to scroll down to find his or her original question.\\n1-5. Proofread your email before sending it\\nIt can be easy not to catch small typos or accidental grammar/spelling mistakes. These things can be avoided through proofreading.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Are you responding to a question over e-mail? Professionalism is necessary when answering questions, especially in the work environment. It takes getting back to someone promptly, using proper spelling and grammar, and much more.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Reply promptly to the email.\", \"描述\": \"When you receive the e-mail, do not wait for days or weeks to respond to it. This might be upsetting to the sender, and be unprofessional, especially in a workplace setting. If you do not know the answer to a question, you can ask someone else who might know the answer. For instance, if someone asks you if school supplies are required or just for donation, write back with something like this: \\\"I do not know if school supplies are required, but I have asked our supervisor about this, and will follow up with you as soon as possible.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Know how to politely ask for clarification.\", \"描述\": \"If you do not understand what the sender is asking, you can ask him or her to clarify. You can try writing a polite and professional note like this: \\\"I am sorry, but I do not understand what you are asking. Would you please elaborate?\\\" The sender is likely to respond with elaboration of his/her question, so that you can answer it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use proper spelling and grammar\", \"描述\": \"This goes without saying. Many people on the Internet use improper grammar, which is very unprofessional, especially in an e-mail to someone. If you're not a good speller, try using an online spell check resource so that your spelling is correct. You should also read up on how to use proper English punctuation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Include the original question that the sender asked.\", \"描述\": \"Try to reshape this question into an answer instead of replying to an e-mail. This is especially important if the sender is asking a closed-ended question (such as a yes/no question, or a multiple-option question in which you would need to answer with a certain option). For instance, if the sender asked you \\\"Does school start next Tuesday?\\\" do not just reply with \\\"Yes\\\". Reply with \\\"Yes, school starts next Tuesday\\\".\\nIn face-to-face conversation, people usually answer closed-ended questions with one word, but e-mail is different. It can be confusing to the sender when you reply to a closed-ended question with one word, since the sender will have to scroll down to find his or her original question.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Proofread your email before sending it\", \"描述\": \"It can be easy not to catch small typos or accidental grammar/spelling mistakes. These things can be avoided through proofreading.\"}]}]}}",
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1,742 | How to Answer Reference Check Questions | 1. Preparing Answers in Advance
1-1. Ask the candidate for information about the job before the reference check, if possible.
If someone asks you to provide a reference for them, get as much information about their goals as possible. Inquire about what kind of opportunity the candidate applied for, and ask them to give you the job description, if possible. You'll be best equipped to portray them as an ideal candidate if you know what the job is looking for.
1-2. Ask if they would like you to focus on anything in particular.
A candidate might ask for a reference with the hope that you will give them credit for specific skills or accomplishments. For instance, if a former employee learned bookkeeping skills while working for your company, they might want you to focus on that point. Ask the candidate what they would like you to narrow in on when providing a reference for you.
1-3. Make sure that there are no details you should avoid.
The candidate you are endorsing may not want a potential employer, landlord, or other individuals to know certain details about their personal or professional background. Knowing what to avoid will make it easier to answer reference questions without awkwardness or worry.
1-4. Prepare a concise and favorable description of the candidate.
During a reference check, you will almost certainly be asked to describe the person you are being asked about. To avoid being put on the spot, think ahead about the best way to summarize their strengths and skills. Preparing this in advance will allow you to answer more confidently and sound more convincing.
2. Providing a Professional Reference
2-1. Introduce yourself and your relationship to the candidate.
Introduce yourself by stating your full name. Outline the qualifications that make you a good reference. Establish how you know the candidate and for how long you have known them.
For example, say something like, "My name is John Smith. I am a district sales manager and I was Jane's direct supervisor for 3 years, starting in 2007."
2-2. Provide concrete examples of the candidate's skills in action.
Instead of listing a candidate's skills, describe how those skills were reflected in the person's actions. Give specific examples of how the candidate used their expertise to solve a problem or improve their workplace. You may be asked to do so directly, or asked a more general question that you can elaborate on.
For instance, if you want to highlight a candidate's organizational skills, describe how they implemented a new catalogue system for office files to make documents easier to access.
2-3. Describe the candidate's weaknesses within the context of self-improvement.
You will certainly be asked to list some of the candidate's negative qualities or shortcomings. Answer this question honestly, but frame this answer within the larger picture of their work to improve. This is the best way to retain your credibility without throwing the candidate under the bus.
For instance, note that the candidate had an issue with meeting deadlines, so they streamlined their work habits to remedy the problem.
2-4. Be honest and diplomatic about why the candidate no longer works with you.
Answer the question of why the candidate left your organization concisely and factually. Do not embellish the story or add personal opinions to it. Note that this question was almost certainly asked of the candidate themselves in their interview, so you must be truthful.
For instance, say something like, "The candidate left on good terms to pursue other opportunities in the industry."
2-5. Do not answer inappropriate personal questions.
Employers are prohibited from asking certain personal questions during job interviews and reference checks that may sway their decision unfairly. While a candidate may choose to answer such a question during their interview, you are not permitted to provide this information about them. Politely decline to answer any questions pertaining to:
The candidate's health
The candidate's marital status
Whether or not the candidate has children
The candidate's current financial situation
3. Providing a Character Reference
3-1. Introduce yourself to establish your own credibility.
To offer a good character reference, you need to convince the person asking you questions that you are a reliable judge. Introduce yourself, then state what your profession is. List any other notable qualifications that you have.
If it hasn't already been established, you should also provide some background about how you know the candidate.
For instance, say something like, "My name is John Smith. I am a career counsellor with a background in media relations. I've known the candidate since we attended college together."
3-2. Emphasize that the individual is reliable.
The primary goal of questioning a character reference is to determine how trustworthy they are. Be sure to state clearly that you consider the person you are vouching for reliable and responsible. Provide examples of how you or others have been able to rely on the individual in the past.
For instance, mention a time when the individual has helped you in an emergency or offered assistance during a difficult time.
3-3. Highlight the individual's positive demeanor.
Another goal of character reference checks is to determine if an individual is easy to get along with. Emphasize positive personality attributes like kindness, compassion, diplomacy, respectfulness, and generosity. Give examples of how the individual demonstrates these assets in their daily life.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:46:02",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing Answers in Advance\\n1-1. Ask the candidate for information about the job before the reference check, if possible.\\nIf someone asks you to provide a reference for them, get as much information about their goals as possible. Inquire about what kind of opportunity the candidate applied for, and ask them to give you the job description, if possible. You'll be best equipped to portray them as an ideal candidate if you know what the job is looking for.\\n1-2. Ask if they would like you to focus on anything in particular.\\nA candidate might ask for a reference with the hope that you will give them credit for specific skills or accomplishments. For instance, if a former employee learned bookkeeping skills while working for your company, they might want you to focus on that point. Ask the candidate what they would like you to narrow in on when providing a reference for you.\\n1-3. Make sure that there are no details you should avoid.\\nThe candidate you are endorsing may not want a potential employer, landlord, or other individuals to know certain details about their personal or professional background. Knowing what to avoid will make it easier to answer reference questions without awkwardness or worry.\\n1-4. Prepare a concise and favorable description of the candidate.\\nDuring a reference check, you will almost certainly be asked to describe the person you are being asked about. To avoid being put on the spot, think ahead about the best way to summarize their strengths and skills. Preparing this in advance will allow you to answer more confidently and sound more convincing.\\n2. Providing a Professional Reference\\n2-1. Introduce yourself and your relationship to the candidate.\\nIntroduce yourself by stating your full name. Outline the qualifications that make you a good reference. Establish how you know the candidate and for how long you have known them.\\nFor example, say something like, \\\"My name is John Smith. I am a district sales manager and I was Jane's direct supervisor for 3 years, starting in 2007.\\\"\\n2-2. Provide concrete examples of the candidate's skills in action.\\nInstead of listing a candidate's skills, describe how those skills were reflected in the person's actions. Give specific examples of how the candidate used their expertise to solve a problem or improve their workplace. You may be asked to do so directly, or asked a more general question that you can elaborate on.\\nFor instance, if you want to highlight a candidate's organizational skills, describe how they implemented a new catalogue system for office files to make documents easier to access.\\n2-3. Describe the candidate's weaknesses within the context of self-improvement.\\nYou will certainly be asked to list some of the candidate's negative qualities or shortcomings. Answer this question honestly, but frame this answer within the larger picture of their work to improve. This is the best way to retain your credibility without throwing the candidate under the bus.\\nFor instance, note that the candidate had an issue with meeting deadlines, so they streamlined their work habits to remedy the problem.\\n2-4. Be honest and diplomatic about why the candidate no longer works with you.\\nAnswer the question of why the candidate left your organization concisely and factually. Do not embellish the story or add personal opinions to it. Note that this question was almost certainly asked of the candidate themselves in their interview, so you must be truthful.\\nFor instance, say something like, \\\"The candidate left on good terms to pursue other opportunities in the industry.\\\"\\n2-5. Do not answer inappropriate personal questions.\\nEmployers are prohibited from asking certain personal questions during job interviews and reference checks that may sway their decision unfairly. While a candidate may choose to answer such a question during their interview, you are not permitted to provide this information about them. Politely decline to answer any questions pertaining to:\\nThe candidate's health\\nThe candidate's marital status\\nWhether or not the candidate has children\\nThe candidate's current financial situation\\n3. Providing a Character Reference\\n3-1. Introduce yourself to establish your own credibility.\\nTo offer a good character reference, you need to convince the person asking you questions that you are a reliable judge. Introduce yourself, then state what your profession is. List any other notable qualifications that you have.\\nIf it hasn't already been established, you should also provide some background about how you know the candidate.\\nFor instance, say something like, \\\"My name is John Smith. I am a career counsellor with a background in media relations. I've known the candidate since we attended college together.\\\"\\n3-2. Emphasize that the individual is reliable.\\nThe primary goal of questioning a character reference is to determine how trustworthy they are. Be sure to state clearly that you consider the person you are vouching for reliable and responsible. Provide examples of how you or others have been able to rely on the individual in the past.\\nFor instance, mention a time when the individual has helped you in an emergency or offered assistance during a difficult time.\\n3-3. Highlight the individual's positive demeanor.\\nAnother goal of character reference checks is to determine if an individual is easy to get along with. Emphasize positive personality attributes like kindness, compassion, diplomacy, respectfulness, and generosity. Give examples of how the individual demonstrates these assets in their daily life.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Providing honest and reliable references means that you can help others while establishing your credibility. Before such an interview, prepare yourself for the questions you are likely to be asked to avoid getting overwhelmed. Try to be positive and factual about your answers and give examples to prove your statements. On the same note, avoid answering any questions that are inappropriate or intrusive.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing Answers in Advance\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask the candidate for information about the job before the reference check, if possible.\", \"描述\": \"If someone asks you to provide a reference for them, get as much information about their goals as possible. Inquire about what kind of opportunity the candidate applied for, and ask them to give you the job description, if possible. You'll be best equipped to portray them as an ideal candidate if you know what the job is looking for.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask if they would like you to focus on anything in particular.\", \"描述\": \"A candidate might ask for a reference with the hope that you will give them credit for specific skills or accomplishments. For instance, if a former employee learned bookkeeping skills while working for your company, they might want you to focus on that point. Ask the candidate what they would like you to narrow in on when providing a reference for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make sure that there are no details you should avoid.\", \"描述\": \"The candidate you are endorsing may not want a potential employer, landlord, or other individuals to know certain details about their personal or professional background. Knowing what to avoid will make it easier to answer reference questions without awkwardness or worry.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Prepare a concise and favorable description of the candidate.\", \"描述\": \"During a reference check, you will almost certainly be asked to describe the person you are being asked about. To avoid being put on the spot, think ahead about the best way to summarize their strengths and skills. Preparing this in advance will allow you to answer more confidently and sound more convincing.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Providing a Professional Reference\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Introduce yourself and your relationship to the candidate.\", \"描述\": \"Introduce yourself by stating your full name. Outline the qualifications that make you a good reference. Establish how you know the candidate and for how long you have known them.\\nFor example, say something like, \\\"My name is John Smith. I am a district sales manager and I was Jane's direct supervisor for 3 years, starting in 2007.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Provide concrete examples of the candidate's skills in action.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of listing a candidate's skills, describe how those skills were reflected in the person's actions. Give specific examples of how the candidate used their expertise to solve a problem or improve their workplace. You may be asked to do so directly, or asked a more general question that you can elaborate on.\\nFor instance, if you want to highlight a candidate's organizational skills, describe how they implemented a new catalogue system for office files to make documents easier to access.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Describe the candidate's weaknesses within the context of self-improvement.\", \"描述\": \"You will certainly be asked to list some of the candidate's negative qualities or shortcomings. Answer this question honestly, but frame this answer within the larger picture of their work to improve. This is the best way to retain your credibility without throwing the candidate under the bus.\\nFor instance, note that the candidate had an issue with meeting deadlines, so they streamlined their work habits to remedy the problem.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be honest and diplomatic about why the candidate no longer works with you.\", \"描述\": \"Answer the question of why the candidate left your organization concisely and factually. Do not embellish the story or add personal opinions to it. Note that this question was almost certainly asked of the candidate themselves in their interview, so you must be truthful.\\nFor instance, say something like, \\\"The candidate left on good terms to pursue other opportunities in the industry.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Do not answer inappropriate personal questions.\", \"描述\": \"Employers are prohibited from asking certain personal questions during job interviews and reference checks that may sway their decision unfairly. While a candidate may choose to answer such a question during their interview, you are not permitted to provide this information about them. Politely decline to answer any questions pertaining to:\\nThe candidate's health\\nThe candidate's marital status\\nWhether or not the candidate has children\\nThe candidate's current financial situation\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Providing a Character Reference\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Introduce yourself to establish your own credibility.\", \"描述\": \"To offer a good character reference, you need to convince the person asking you questions that you are a reliable judge. Introduce yourself, then state what your profession is. List any other notable qualifications that you have.\\nIf it hasn't already been established, you should also provide some background about how you know the candidate.\\nFor instance, say something like, \\\"My name is John Smith. I am a career counsellor with a background in media relations. I've known the candidate since we attended college together.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Emphasize that the individual is reliable.\", \"描述\": \"The primary goal of questioning a character reference is to determine how trustworthy they are. Be sure to state clearly that you consider the person you are vouching for reliable and responsible. Provide examples of how you or others have been able to rely on the individual in the past.\\nFor instance, mention a time when the individual has helped you in an emergency or offered assistance during a difficult time.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Highlight the individual's positive demeanor.\", \"描述\": \"Another goal of character reference checks is to determine if an individual is easy to get along with. Emphasize positive personality attributes like kindness, compassion, diplomacy, respectfulness, and generosity. Give examples of how the individual demonstrates these assets in their daily life.\"}]}]}}",
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1,743 | How to Answer Tough Questions in an Interview | 1. Using Your Sales Pitch in Answers
1-1. Write down your greatest achievements and strengths.
Talking about your strengths and positive accomplishments may be harder than you think. To prepare for questions regarding this, you should write down a list of your greatest strengths and achievements.
1-2. Talk about your work experience.
Write down the most relevant work experiences you've had, and strengths that have followed you from job to job. Adding a recent concrete example of a recent work experience will give credence to your pitch.
1-3. Write out and memorize your pitch.
Once you've written down all the elements to your pitch, you can put it together into a cohesive statement. Start with an introductory statement about your experience, and then talk about your positive personality traits. Try to frame your experience in a realistic and concrete way.
An example of a good pitch would be something like "I'm a 30 year veteran in writing and editing. My last job was as a senior editor at Shark Publishing Co. While I was there, I wrote over 30 different published manuscripts and manuals. One of the best things about me is that I'm a hard worker and always meet deadlines. As an example, last year we had a deadline that we didn't get the details for until two days beforehand. I worked 12 hours straight to make sure that the content got in on time."
1-4. Use your pitch to answer commonly asked questions.
You can use your pitch to answer questions like "Tell me about yourself," "What experience do you have that would help you in this role?" and "What are your greatest accomplishments?"
2. Turning Weaknesses into Strengths
2-1. Prepare for interview questions that probe your weaknesses.
Typical questions include "Tell me about a time when you failed," "Why did you leave your last job?" and "What are your greatest weaknesses?" Take these questions into consideration and start to form answers to them.
These questions aren't aimed to make you feel bad or for you to reveal your current weaknesses, but are meant to expose how you learn from mistakes and how well you rebound from failure.
2-2. Highlight your professional growth over your shortcomings.
When asked about weaknesses or mistakes that you've made in the past, make sure to highlight how these challenges made you grow professionally. Employers are looking for areas where you believe you could use improvement, as well as how well you can rebound from failure.
If asked about why you left your last job, you can talk about limitations on your growth or advancement in the company.
If you've miscommunicated on a team and it led to a failure, don't talk about the failure as much as you talk about how it taught you that communication is critical.
2-3. Practice talking about negative experiences in a positive light.
If you've ever had a negative experience, there was probably something to be learned. Instead of emphasizing the negative experience, practice talking about what you were able to get out of the experience.
To explain a weakness, you can say something like "When we worked on the project at Boeing I was new at working in conjunction with a team. I didn't communicate my part of the project as well as I should have, so it affected our results. The experience helped me get used to effectively communicating with others, even if I wasn't great at it to begin with."
2-4. Don't be disingenuous when answering.
When employers ask about your weaknesses, don't take a positive and try to frame it as a negative for the question. This comes off as disingenuous. An example of this would be "I work so hard that sometimes I overwork." Instead, be realistic and concrete, and use specific examples whenever you can to explain the weakness.
3. Recognizing the Reasoning Behind a Question
3-1. Evaluate the meaning behind the question.
Often an interviewer will ask you a question to get more information about your personality, aptitude, and experience. Sometimes the question is aimed at learning something that isn't apparent. Think about the actual meaning behind each question before you give your response, and cater your answer to what they are actually asking.
3-2. Don't talk badly about past co-workers.
Blaming past coworkers for your own shortcomings could signal to the employer that you don't take responsibility for your actions and aren't a team player. Instead, talk about how their communication or management style didn't mesh well with yours, and emphasize how you were able to adapt and accomplish goals, even though this was so.
If the interviewer asks "What did you dislike most about your last boss?" they want to understand your expectations of management and understand which management styles you have trouble working with.
You can answer "Tell me about your worst boss" by saying something like "I had a boss who communicated differently than me. I learned that you have to be able to adapt to different personalities if you want a project to get done on time."
3-3. Have humility and confidence when answering questions about yourself.
If they ask, "Why are you better than anyone else for this job?" they are looking to gauge your level of confidence and humility to see if you can fulfill expectations while still being a team player. Talk about your experience and why it makes you capable, but also talk about your passion for learning and getting better at your job.
You can say something like "I have a decade of experience, and I work well with other people. Also, you won't meet a person more passionate about this than I am."
3-4. Give specifics when asked questions about your industry.
Sometimes an interview will contain specific questions regarding your industry. These questions are designed to see if you understand the current standards and practices of the industry as well as your experience level. Make sure to have a solid grasp of the specific technical and operational aspects of your potential job.
Jobs, where you may be expected to have an intimate knowledge of your industry, include biotech, pharma, business, coding, IT, medical, design, and much more.
3-5. Understand the person interviewing you.
Think of the goal of the interviewer and what they need out of a person to successfully fulfill the role. They also want to make sure that you would be a good team member and pleasant to work with. Think about what would benefit them the most, depending on what role they have in the company, and cater your answers to their role.
For example, an HR manager wants to know that you can communicate well with others and can adhere to the company culture.
A director of a department will want you to communicate well and accomplish results in a safe and effective way.
An external recruiter will want to know that you have the experience for the job and are a good candidate to send to the employer.
4. Dealing with Curveball Questions
4-1. Stay calm.
Sometimes an interviewer will ask you a question that is entirely unrelated to your industry or to the job that you're applying for. This is usually to see how you handle pressure and how you will react to the situation. The most important thing is to stay calm and to act like the question doesn't phase you.
Hiring managers want to see if you will become flustered or frustrated by the question.
4-2. Use a past experience to answer the question.
If you can, try to answer the question by thinking of a situation in your life that relates to it. For example, the hiring managers at Mastercard ask employees "What do you do if you are approached by an employee who is complaining about a colleague who has horrible body odor?" You could answer by saying something like "Well, I actually had this issue in Highschool, and I was the smelly kid. The kids actually got me more interested in different sprays and colognes while we were in the locker room, and it helped me a lot. So I'd probably do something like that."
4-3. Try to answer truthfully.
Sometimes these questions are aimed to see what kind of person you'd be like to work with. For that reason, when given a strange or curveball question, just try to answer truthfully without coming off as disrespectful.
For example, Whole Foods Market hiring managers ask "Would you rather fight 1 horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses?" You could say something like, "A horse-sized duck would be terrifying and horrifying. I'd definitely go with the 100 duck-sized horses."
5. Gaining Confidence Through Preparation
5-1. Research the company that is interviewing you.
Candidates who know about the business will stand out from their competitors. Do a search for the company's website and get a sense of their core values, company culture, target customers, and the products or services they provide.
As you do your research, write down any questions that you have so that you can ask the interviewer during the interview.
An excellent question to ask the interviewer at the end of the interview is something like "What does it take for an individual to succeed in this role?"
Search online for the most commonly asked questions in your industry and for your role.
5-2. Practice answering questions before the interview.
Practice answering tough interview questions in front of a mirror or record yourself using your webcam. Examine your body language, vocal tone, and face to see if you are doing anything strange or seem to lack confidence. Try to be open, have a smile on your face, and speak in a clear voice. Rehearse answering questions in front of family or friends and get their opinion.
Confidence can be exhibited by your voice, body language, and facial expressions.
5-3. Prepare well in advance.
The more prepared you are, the calmer you'll be in the interview. Memorize the name of the person who is interviewing you, make sure to select an outfit, and print out or look up directions the day before your interview. Before you go into the interview, review the job description again so that it's fresh in your mind.
If you are nervous because you are late or unprepared, you'll have a harder time answering tough questions.
5-4. Be prepared to give your desired salary.
While you should never bring up salary without being prompted, having the answer in your head will make answering this tough question easier. Make sure that in addition to a monetary salary, you also have an answer for the things you'd want in benefits or additional bonus compensation if it's applicable to the job.
6. Remaining Calm and Focused
6-1. Answer questions with relevant information.
One of the worst things that you can do when answering a tough question is ramble about something that isn't pertinent to the job or the position. Refrain from telling anecdotal stories from your childhood or personal likes and dislikes. Keep your answers short, accurate, and relatable to the role that you want to fill.
A great way to keep on track is to talk about recent professional triumphs or victories.
6-2. Take your time answering.
If you've prepared for the interview but the person interviewing you still throws you a curve ball, it's important that you take your time to think through your response deliberately. Pause for a moment and take the time to think about what you are going to say.
Never answer a question with a "No" or "I don't know." Aim to expand your answers to give the interviewer some context.
6-3. Get to the interview early.
When you arrive early, it gives you time to relax and concentrate on the interview. Make sure to plan your route the night before so that you can get to the interview feeling confident and prepared.
6-4. Think positively and be confident.
Visualize yourself doing great on the interview and getting the job. Don't underplay your abilities or talk negatively about your past. Have confidence in what you do and try to smile throughout the interview.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:02",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Using Your Sales Pitch in Answers\\n1-1. Write down your greatest achievements and strengths.\\nTalking about your strengths and positive accomplishments may be harder than you think. To prepare for questions regarding this, you should write down a list of your greatest strengths and achievements.\\n1-2. Talk about your work experience.\\nWrite down the most relevant work experiences you've had, and strengths that have followed you from job to job. Adding a recent concrete example of a recent work experience will give credence to your pitch.\\n1-3. Write out and memorize your pitch.\\nOnce you've written down all the elements to your pitch, you can put it together into a cohesive statement. Start with an introductory statement about your experience, and then talk about your positive personality traits. Try to frame your experience in a realistic and concrete way.\\nAn example of a good pitch would be something like \\\"I'm a 30 year veteran in writing and editing. My last job was as a senior editor at Shark Publishing Co. While I was there, I wrote over 30 different published manuscripts and manuals. One of the best things about me is that I'm a hard worker and always meet deadlines. As an example, last year we had a deadline that we didn't get the details for until two days beforehand. I worked 12 hours straight to make sure that the content got in on time.\\\"\\n1-4. Use your pitch to answer commonly asked questions.\\nYou can use your pitch to answer questions like \\\"Tell me about yourself,\\\" \\\"What experience do you have that would help you in this role?\\\" and \\\"What are your greatest accomplishments?\\\"\\n2. Turning Weaknesses into Strengths\\n2-1. Prepare for interview questions that probe your weaknesses.\\nTypical questions include \\\"Tell me about a time when you failed,\\\" \\\"Why did you leave your last job?\\\" and \\\"What are your greatest weaknesses?\\\" Take these questions into consideration and start to form answers to them.\\nThese questions aren't aimed to make you feel bad or for you to reveal your current weaknesses, but are meant to expose how you learn from mistakes and how well you rebound from failure.\\n2-2. Highlight your professional growth over your shortcomings.\\nWhen asked about weaknesses or mistakes that you've made in the past, make sure to highlight how these challenges made you grow professionally. Employers are looking for areas where you believe you could use improvement, as well as how well you can rebound from failure.\\nIf asked about why you left your last job, you can talk about limitations on your growth or advancement in the company.\\nIf you've miscommunicated on a team and it led to a failure, don't talk about the failure as much as you talk about how it taught you that communication is critical.\\n2-3. Practice talking about negative experiences in a positive light.\\nIf you've ever had a negative experience, there was probably something to be learned. Instead of emphasizing the negative experience, practice talking about what you were able to get out of the experience.\\nTo explain a weakness, you can say something like \\\"When we worked on the project at Boeing I was new at working in conjunction with a team. I didn't communicate my part of the project as well as I should have, so it affected our results. The experience helped me get used to effectively communicating with others, even if I wasn't great at it to begin with.\\\"\\n2-4. Don't be disingenuous when answering.\\nWhen employers ask about your weaknesses, don't take a positive and try to frame it as a negative for the question. This comes off as disingenuous. An example of this would be \\\"I work so hard that sometimes I overwork.\\\" Instead, be realistic and concrete, and use specific examples whenever you can to explain the weakness.\\n3. Recognizing the Reasoning Behind a Question\\n3-1. Evaluate the meaning behind the question.\\nOften an interviewer will ask you a question to get more information about your personality, aptitude, and experience. Sometimes the question is aimed at learning something that isn't apparent. Think about the actual meaning behind each question before you give your response, and cater your answer to what they are actually asking.\\n3-2. Don't talk badly about past co-workers.\\nBlaming past coworkers for your own shortcomings could signal to the employer that you don't take responsibility for your actions and aren't a team player. Instead, talk about how their communication or management style didn't mesh well with yours, and emphasize how you were able to adapt and accomplish goals, even though this was so.\\nIf the interviewer asks \\\"What did you dislike most about your last boss?\\\" they want to understand your expectations of management and understand which management styles you have trouble working with.\\nYou can answer \\\"Tell me about your worst boss\\\" by saying something like \\\"I had a boss who communicated differently than me. I learned that you have to be able to adapt to different personalities if you want a project to get done on time.\\\"\\n3-3. Have humility and confidence when answering questions about yourself.\\nIf they ask, \\\"Why are you better than anyone else for this job?\\\" they are looking to gauge your level of confidence and humility to see if you can fulfill expectations while still being a team player. Talk about your experience and why it makes you capable, but also talk about your passion for learning and getting better at your job.\\nYou can say something like \\\"I have a decade of experience, and I work well with other people. Also, you won't meet a person more passionate about this than I am.\\\"\\n3-4. Give specifics when asked questions about your industry.\\nSometimes an interview will contain specific questions regarding your industry. These questions are designed to see if you understand the current standards and practices of the industry as well as your experience level. Make sure to have a solid grasp of the specific technical and operational aspects of your potential job.\\nJobs, where you may be expected to have an intimate knowledge of your industry, include biotech, pharma, business, coding, IT, medical, design, and much more.\\n3-5. Understand the person interviewing you.\\nThink of the goal of the interviewer and what they need out of a person to successfully fulfill the role. They also want to make sure that you would be a good team member and pleasant to work with. Think about what would benefit them the most, depending on what role they have in the company, and cater your answers to their role.\\nFor example, an HR manager wants to know that you can communicate well with others and can adhere to the company culture.\\nA director of a department will want you to communicate well and accomplish results in a safe and effective way.\\nAn external recruiter will want to know that you have the experience for the job and are a good candidate to send to the employer.\\n4. Dealing with Curveball Questions\\n4-1. Stay calm.\\nSometimes an interviewer will ask you a question that is entirely unrelated to your industry or to the job that you're applying for. This is usually to see how you handle pressure and how you will react to the situation. The most important thing is to stay calm and to act like the question doesn't phase you.\\nHiring managers want to see if you will become flustered or frustrated by the question.\\n4-2. Use a past experience to answer the question.\\nIf you can, try to answer the question by thinking of a situation in your life that relates to it. For example, the hiring managers at Mastercard ask employees \\\"What do you do if you are approached by an employee who is complaining about a colleague who has horrible body odor?\\\" You could answer by saying something like \\\"Well, I actually had this issue in Highschool, and I was the smelly kid. The kids actually got me more interested in different sprays and colognes while we were in the locker room, and it helped me a lot. So I'd probably do something like that.\\\"\\n4-3. Try to answer truthfully.\\nSometimes these questions are aimed to see what kind of person you'd be like to work with. For that reason, when given a strange or curveball question, just try to answer truthfully without coming off as disrespectful.\\nFor example, Whole Foods Market hiring managers ask \\\"Would you rather fight 1 horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses?\\\" You could say something like, \\\"A horse-sized duck would be terrifying and horrifying. I'd definitely go with the 100 duck-sized horses.\\\"\\n5. Gaining Confidence Through Preparation\\n5-1. Research the company that is interviewing you.\\nCandidates who know about the business will stand out from their competitors. Do a search for the company's website and get a sense of their core values, company culture, target customers, and the products or services they provide.\\nAs you do your research, write down any questions that you have so that you can ask the interviewer during the interview.\\nAn excellent question to ask the interviewer at the end of the interview is something like \\\"What does it take for an individual to succeed in this role?\\\"\\nSearch online for the most commonly asked questions in your industry and for your role.\\n5-2. Practice answering questions before the interview.\\nPractice answering tough interview questions in front of a mirror or record yourself using your webcam. Examine your body language, vocal tone, and face to see if you are doing anything strange or seem to lack confidence. Try to be open, have a smile on your face, and speak in a clear voice. Rehearse answering questions in front of family or friends and get their opinion.\\nConfidence can be exhibited by your voice, body language, and facial expressions.\\n5-3. Prepare well in advance.\\nThe more prepared you are, the calmer you'll be in the interview. Memorize the name of the person who is interviewing you, make sure to select an outfit, and print out or look up directions the day before your interview. Before you go into the interview, review the job description again so that it's fresh in your mind.\\nIf you are nervous because you are late or unprepared, you'll have a harder time answering tough questions.\\n5-4. Be prepared to give your desired salary.\\nWhile you should never bring up salary without being prompted, having the answer in your head will make answering this tough question easier. Make sure that in addition to a monetary salary, you also have an answer for the things you'd want in benefits or additional bonus compensation if it's applicable to the job.\\n6. Remaining Calm and Focused\\n6-1. Answer questions with relevant information.\\nOne of the worst things that you can do when answering a tough question is ramble about something that isn't pertinent to the job or the position. Refrain from telling anecdotal stories from your childhood or personal likes and dislikes. Keep your answers short, accurate, and relatable to the role that you want to fill.\\nA great way to keep on track is to talk about recent professional triumphs or victories.\\n6-2. Take your time answering.\\nIf you've prepared for the interview but the person interviewing you still throws you a curve ball, it's important that you take your time to think through your response deliberately. Pause for a moment and take the time to think about what you are going to say.\\nNever answer a question with a \\\"No\\\" or \\\"I don't know.\\\" Aim to expand your answers to give the interviewer some context.\\n6-3. Get to the interview early.\\nWhen you arrive early, it gives you time to relax and concentrate on the interview. Make sure to plan your route the night before so that you can get to the interview feeling confident and prepared.\\n6-4. Think positively and be confident.\\nVisualize yourself doing great on the interview and getting the job. Don't underplay your abilities or talk negatively about your past. Have confidence in what you do and try to smile throughout the interview.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Job interviews are the first impression that a company gets from a potential employee. Typically an interview will determine whether you get the job. For this reason, an interview can sometimes be a stressful situation, especially if the questions that you are asked are difficult to answer. Luckily, answering tough questions on an interview merely requires some preparation and tactical thinking. If you practice commonly asked interview questions, do your research, and can think on your toes, answering difficult interview questions is easily obtainable.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Using Your Sales Pitch in Answers\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Write down your greatest achievements and strengths.\", \"描述\": \"Talking about your strengths and positive accomplishments may be harder than you think. To prepare for questions regarding this, you should write down a list of your greatest strengths and achievements.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talk about your work experience.\", \"描述\": \"Write down the most relevant work experiences you've had, and strengths that have followed you from job to job. Adding a recent concrete example of a recent work experience will give credence to your pitch.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Write out and memorize your pitch.\", \"描述\": \"Once you've written down all the elements to your pitch, you can put it together into a cohesive statement. Start with an introductory statement about your experience, and then talk about your positive personality traits. Try to frame your experience in a realistic and concrete way.\\nAn example of a good pitch would be something like \\\"I'm a 30 year veteran in writing and editing. My last job was as a senior editor at Shark Publishing Co. While I was there, I wrote over 30 different published manuscripts and manuals. One of the best things about me is that I'm a hard worker and always meet deadlines. As an example, last year we had a deadline that we didn't get the details for until two days beforehand. I worked 12 hours straight to make sure that the content got in on time.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use your pitch to answer commonly asked questions.\", \"描述\": \"You can use your pitch to answer questions like \\\"Tell me about yourself,\\\" \\\"What experience do you have that would help you in this role?\\\" and \\\"What are your greatest accomplishments?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Turning Weaknesses into Strengths\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Prepare for interview questions that probe your weaknesses.\", \"描述\": \"Typical questions include \\\"Tell me about a time when you failed,\\\" \\\"Why did you leave your last job?\\\" and \\\"What are your greatest weaknesses?\\\" Take these questions into consideration and start to form answers to them.\\nThese questions aren't aimed to make you feel bad or for you to reveal your current weaknesses, but are meant to expose how you learn from mistakes and how well you rebound from failure.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Highlight your professional growth over your shortcomings.\", \"描述\": \"When asked about weaknesses or mistakes that you've made in the past, make sure to highlight how these challenges made you grow professionally. Employers are looking for areas where you believe you could use improvement, as well as how well you can rebound from failure.\\nIf asked about why you left your last job, you can talk about limitations on your growth or advancement in the company.\\nIf you've miscommunicated on a team and it led to a failure, don't talk about the failure as much as you talk about how it taught you that communication is critical.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice talking about negative experiences in a positive light.\", \"描述\": \"If you've ever had a negative experience, there was probably something to be learned. Instead of emphasizing the negative experience, practice talking about what you were able to get out of the experience.\\nTo explain a weakness, you can say something like \\\"When we worked on the project at Boeing I was new at working in conjunction with a team. I didn't communicate my part of the project as well as I should have, so it affected our results. The experience helped me get used to effectively communicating with others, even if I wasn't great at it to begin with.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't be disingenuous when answering.\", \"描述\": \"When employers ask about your weaknesses, don't take a positive and try to frame it as a negative for the question. This comes off as disingenuous. An example of this would be \\\"I work so hard that sometimes I overwork.\\\" Instead, be realistic and concrete, and use specific examples whenever you can to explain the weakness.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Recognizing the Reasoning Behind a Question\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Evaluate the meaning behind the question.\", \"描述\": \"Often an interviewer will ask you a question to get more information about your personality, aptitude, and experience. Sometimes the question is aimed at learning something that isn't apparent. Think about the actual meaning behind each question before you give your response, and cater your answer to what they are actually asking.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don't talk badly about past co-workers.\", \"描述\": \"Blaming past coworkers for your own shortcomings could signal to the employer that you don't take responsibility for your actions and aren't a team player. Instead, talk about how their communication or management style didn't mesh well with yours, and emphasize how you were able to adapt and accomplish goals, even though this was so.\\nIf the interviewer asks \\\"What did you dislike most about your last boss?\\\" they want to understand your expectations of management and understand which management styles you have trouble working with.\\nYou can answer \\\"Tell me about your worst boss\\\" by saying something like \\\"I had a boss who communicated differently than me. I learned that you have to be able to adapt to different personalities if you want a project to get done on time.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have humility and confidence when answering questions about yourself.\", \"描述\": \"If they ask, \\\"Why are you better than anyone else for this job?\\\" they are looking to gauge your level of confidence and humility to see if you can fulfill expectations while still being a team player. Talk about your experience and why it makes you capable, but also talk about your passion for learning and getting better at your job.\\nYou can say something like \\\"I have a decade of experience, and I work well with other people. Also, you won't meet a person more passionate about this than I am.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Give specifics when asked questions about your industry.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes an interview will contain specific questions regarding your industry. These questions are designed to see if you understand the current standards and practices of the industry as well as your experience level. Make sure to have a solid grasp of the specific technical and operational aspects of your potential job.\\nJobs, where you may be expected to have an intimate knowledge of your industry, include biotech, pharma, business, coding, IT, medical, design, and much more.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Understand the person interviewing you.\", \"描述\": \"Think of the goal of the interviewer and what they need out of a person to successfully fulfill the role. They also want to make sure that you would be a good team member and pleasant to work with. Think about what would benefit them the most, depending on what role they have in the company, and cater your answers to their role.\\nFor example, an HR manager wants to know that you can communicate well with others and can adhere to the company culture.\\nA director of a department will want you to communicate well and accomplish results in a safe and effective way.\\nAn external recruiter will want to know that you have the experience for the job and are a good candidate to send to the employer.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Dealing with Curveball Questions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stay calm.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes an interviewer will ask you a question that is entirely unrelated to your industry or to the job that you're applying for. This is usually to see how you handle pressure and how you will react to the situation. The most important thing is to stay calm and to act like the question doesn't phase you.\\nHiring managers want to see if you will become flustered or frustrated by the question.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use a past experience to answer the question.\", \"描述\": \"If you can, try to answer the question by thinking of a situation in your life that relates to it. For example, the hiring managers at Mastercard ask employees \\\"What do you do if you are approached by an employee who is complaining about a colleague who has horrible body odor?\\\" You could answer by saying something like \\\"Well, I actually had this issue in Highschool, and I was the smelly kid. The kids actually got me more interested in different sprays and colognes while we were in the locker room, and it helped me a lot. So I'd probably do something like that.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try to answer truthfully.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes these questions are aimed to see what kind of person you'd be like to work with. For that reason, when given a strange or curveball question, just try to answer truthfully without coming off as disrespectful.\\nFor example, Whole Foods Market hiring managers ask \\\"Would you rather fight 1 horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses?\\\" You could say something like, \\\"A horse-sized duck would be terrifying and horrifying. I'd definitely go with the 100 duck-sized horses.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Gaining Confidence Through Preparation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Research the company that is interviewing you.\", \"描述\": \"Candidates who know about the business will stand out from their competitors. Do a search for the company's website and get a sense of their core values, company culture, target customers, and the products or services they provide.\\nAs you do your research, write down any questions that you have so that you can ask the interviewer during the interview.\\nAn excellent question to ask the interviewer at the end of the interview is something like \\\"What does it take for an individual to succeed in this role?\\\"\\nSearch online for the most commonly asked questions in your industry and for your role.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice answering questions before the interview.\", \"描述\": \"Practice answering tough interview questions in front of a mirror or record yourself using your webcam. Examine your body language, vocal tone, and face to see if you are doing anything strange or seem to lack confidence. Try to be open, have a smile on your face, and speak in a clear voice. Rehearse answering questions in front of family or friends and get their opinion.\\nConfidence can be exhibited by your voice, body language, and facial expressions.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Prepare well in advance.\", \"描述\": \"The more prepared you are, the calmer you'll be in the interview. Memorize the name of the person who is interviewing you, make sure to select an outfit, and print out or look up directions the day before your interview. Before you go into the interview, review the job description again so that it's fresh in your mind.\\nIf you are nervous because you are late or unprepared, you'll have a harder time answering tough questions.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be prepared to give your desired salary.\", \"描述\": \"While you should never bring up salary without being prompted, having the answer in your head will make answering this tough question easier. Make sure that in addition to a monetary salary, you also have an answer for the things you'd want in benefits or additional bonus compensation if it's applicable to the job.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Remaining Calm and Focused\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Answer questions with relevant information.\", \"描述\": \"One of the worst things that you can do when answering a tough question is ramble about something that isn't pertinent to the job or the position. Refrain from telling anecdotal stories from your childhood or personal likes and dislikes. Keep your answers short, accurate, and relatable to the role that you want to fill.\\nA great way to keep on track is to talk about recent professional triumphs or victories.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take your time answering.\", \"描述\": \"If you've prepared for the interview but the person interviewing you still throws you a curve ball, it's important that you take your time to think through your response deliberately. Pause for a moment and take the time to think about what you are going to say.\\nNever answer a question with a \\\"No\\\" or \\\"I don't know.\\\" Aim to expand your answers to give the interviewer some context.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get to the interview early.\", \"描述\": \"When you arrive early, it gives you time to relax and concentrate on the interview. Make sure to plan your route the night before so that you can get to the interview feeling confident and prepared.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Think positively and be confident.\", \"描述\": \"Visualize yourself doing great on the interview and getting the job. Don't underplay your abilities or talk negatively about your past. Have confidence in what you do and try to smile throughout the interview.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,744 | How to Answer Unemployment Claim Questions | 1. Completing Your Phone Interview
1-1. Complete any required documents before your interview.
If you receive a notice for a phone interview, it may include additional paperwork that you need to fill out before the phone interview. The purpose is to ensure that the interview runs smoothly.
Get your paperwork in as soon as possible. Don't wait until the last minute, especially if you have to rely on the mail to get your paperwork to the unemployment office.
If there are questions included in your notice, write out answers to these questions and make copies of any documentation you have that supports your answers.
1-2. Gather your records before the interview.
You'll need a copy of your unemployment application, your separation notice (if you got one), and any other documents related to your former employment. Organize these before the phone call so you don't have to go hunting for them.
You may also want to have a copy of your resumé on hand. If you've applied for any new jobs, keep a running list of the applications you've submitted and the status of those applications. This shows that you're making a serious effort towards finding new work.
Being prepared and organized will make a good impression on the interviewer.
1-3. List your cell phone number on your application.
Phone interviews are difficult to reschedule. If you provide a cell phone rather than a landline, you don't have to worry about sitting by the phone waiting for someone to call.
The number you give should be for a phone that you have control over. Don't give the number for a family member's phone, especially if you're frequently apart from each other during the day.
If you have a prepaid phone, make sure you have enough minutes to take the call.
1-4. Answer the phone professionally.
When the interviewer calls, answer with your full name and a polite greeting. Don't just say "hi" or "hello," or use more casual phone greetings. When the interviewer introduces themselves, you might also let them know that you've been looking forward to their call.
For example, you might say "Hello, this is Sally Sunshine. How may I help you today?" When the interviewer responds, repeat their name and say "I've been looking forward to speaking with you."
If you have voice mail set up on your phone, make sure your outgoing message is friendly and professional. Though the unemployment office may not hear it, potential employers might.
1-5. Provide detailed, factual responses.
Be as specific and detailed as you can, but stick to the facts. Don't embellish or exaggerate any aspect of your answers, especially with questions related to how you lost your job or the events leading up to your termination.
Your interviewer will likely speak to your former employer. Don't say anything during the interview that you wouldn't want getting back to them.
If you don't know an answer to a question or don't remember the specific details, just say so. Don't speculate or try to guess. If you turn out to be wrong later, it could come back to haunt you.
1-6. Stay on topic with your answers.
Respond to the interviewer's questions directly, without going off on tangents or providing irrelevant details. If there are other issues related to your former job, such as a work injury or harassment, mention that they exist but don't go into details.
For example, you might say "I had a workers' compensation claim 2 weeks ago. I'm currently consulting an attorney regarding that matter and I'll keep the unemployment office updated on the progress of that claim."
Even though you're likely angry and frustrated, don't take it out on the interviewer, and avoid going off on your old boss or complaining about your old workplace. Your interviewer conducts these interviews every day – they've already heard it all, and emotional pleas are not going to sway their opinion.
1-7. Maintain a polite and professional tone throughout the interview.
The worker may ask a question that offends you, or that seems accusatory or rude. Keep in mind that the worker is just trying to do their job and make sure everyone they interview is truly qualified for benefits.
One way to diffuse an offensive or accusatory question is to say you don't understand the question and repeat it back to them. For example, you might say "I'm sorry, I'm confused. Are you asking if I was terminated because of the write-up for tardiness?" After you get clarification, politely say something like "thank you for the opportunity to clear that up."
It's appropriate to address the interviewer as "sir" or "ma'am." You might also want to ask from the outset what they prefer to be called.
2. Answering Claim Certification Questions
2-1. Explain when you were able and available to work.
The key to continued eligibility for unemployment benefits is that you are able and available for work. If you weren't both able and available all 7 days of the week, your benefits may be reduced.
For example, you may have been unable to work for 2 days because you were sick. Be honest about this in your claim certification.
If you were unavailable for any other reason, state that reason specifically. You may be able to keep your full benefits for the week if you were unavailable through no fault of your own.
2-2. Describe your job search.
You're expected to actively look for work the entire time you're getting unemployment benefits. Some states may have specific job search sites you're supposed to use. You may also be required to attend a specific number of interviews each week, or submit a specific number of applications.
Write down the name and address of any company where you submitted an application, along with the job title for which you applied.
Include the date you submitted each application, and the current status of that application. This includes any follow-up calls you've made to the company or any letters you've received regarding your application.
2-3. List any job interviews you had.
If you had job interviews over the course of the week covered by your certification, provide the name of the employer along with the date and time of the interview. You may also include the job title for which you were interviewed.
If you scheduled future interviews, you may want to list those as well, along with the date when the interview is scheduled.
2-4. Be honest if you turned down employment.
Refusing a job offer may mean you're no longer eligible for unemployment benefits. However, you're not required to accept just any job offer as a condition of keeping your benefits. You are only required to accept an offer that is suitable for your educational background and work experience.
For example, if you have a law degree, you wouldn't be required to accept an offer to be a clerk at a supermarket or fast food restaurant.
If you turned down an offer but believe it wasn't in keeping with your qualifications, be prepared to explain that.
3. Reporting Wages Earned
3-1. Keep records of your hours worked.
You must report any wages you earned to unemployment for the week that you earned them, not the week you receive them. If you just started a new job and haven't received a paycheck yet, you still have earnings to report.
Record the number of hours you work each day. Pay attention to the dates covered on your unemployment claim certification. Only report the hours you worked on those days, regardless of the "work week" your employer uses.
3-2. Compute your gross earnings.
For the purposes of unemployment benefits, you need your earnings before taxes and any payroll deductions, such as for health insurance. This is different from the amount on your paycheck.
If you haven't received a paycheck yet, you can get your gross earnings from your employer. You can also figure them up by multiplying the number of hours you worked by your hourly rate.
3-3. List the name and address of your employer.
Use the full legal name of your employer. If you got work through a temporary agency, include the name and address of the agency as well as the company where you were assigned.
You'll likely have to state whether you anticipate you'll be working for that employer next week. If you won't be working for that employer next week, you typically must provide a reason.
3-4. Choose whether to have federal income tax withheld.
When you file your weekly compensation certification, let the unemployment office know whether you want them to withhold federal income tax from your unemployment benefits.
If you choose not to have taxes withheld, you may end up having to pay taxes at the end of the year.
Tips
If the interviewer denies your claim for benefits, you can appeal that decision. In the meantime, continue filing your claims for benefits every week.[16]
X
Research source
If you have a sideline business, such as driving for a ride share app, mention this when you file your unemployment application. You may be able to keep that business going while collecting unemployment benefits for loss of your primary job.[17]
X
Research source
Keep filing weekly claims, even if your benefits are being held pending an interview. It may be several weeks before your interview is scheduled, but if the interviewer decides you're entitled to benefits, you'll get back payments.
Warnings
This article covers unemployment benefits in the United States. For information or advice on how to handle claims for similar benefits in other countries, speak with a lawyer who specializes in employment law.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:03",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Completing Your Phone Interview\\n1-1. Complete any required documents before your interview.\\nIf you receive a notice for a phone interview, it may include additional paperwork that you need to fill out before the phone interview. The purpose is to ensure that the interview runs smoothly.\\nGet your paperwork in as soon as possible. Don't wait until the last minute, especially if you have to rely on the mail to get your paperwork to the unemployment office.\\nIf there are questions included in your notice, write out answers to these questions and make copies of any documentation you have that supports your answers.\\n1-2. Gather your records before the interview.\\nYou'll need a copy of your unemployment application, your separation notice (if you got one), and any other documents related to your former employment. Organize these before the phone call so you don't have to go hunting for them.\\nYou may also want to have a copy of your resumé on hand. If you've applied for any new jobs, keep a running list of the applications you've submitted and the status of those applications. This shows that you're making a serious effort towards finding new work.\\nBeing prepared and organized will make a good impression on the interviewer.\\n1-3. List your cell phone number on your application.\\nPhone interviews are difficult to reschedule. If you provide a cell phone rather than a landline, you don't have to worry about sitting by the phone waiting for someone to call.\\nThe number you give should be for a phone that you have control over. Don't give the number for a family member's phone, especially if you're frequently apart from each other during the day.\\nIf you have a prepaid phone, make sure you have enough minutes to take the call.\\n1-4. Answer the phone professionally.\\nWhen the interviewer calls, answer with your full name and a polite greeting. Don't just say \\\"hi\\\" or \\\"hello,\\\" or use more casual phone greetings. When the interviewer introduces themselves, you might also let them know that you've been looking forward to their call.\\nFor example, you might say \\\"Hello, this is Sally Sunshine. How may I help you today?\\\" When the interviewer responds, repeat their name and say \\\"I've been looking forward to speaking with you.\\\"\\nIf you have voice mail set up on your phone, make sure your outgoing message is friendly and professional. Though the unemployment office may not hear it, potential employers might.\\n1-5. Provide detailed, factual responses.\\nBe as specific and detailed as you can, but stick to the facts. Don't embellish or exaggerate any aspect of your answers, especially with questions related to how you lost your job or the events leading up to your termination.\\nYour interviewer will likely speak to your former employer. Don't say anything during the interview that you wouldn't want getting back to them.\\nIf you don't know an answer to a question or don't remember the specific details, just say so. Don't speculate or try to guess. If you turn out to be wrong later, it could come back to haunt you.\\n1-6. Stay on topic with your answers.\\nRespond to the interviewer's questions directly, without going off on tangents or providing irrelevant details. If there are other issues related to your former job, such as a work injury or harassment, mention that they exist but don't go into details.\\nFor example, you might say \\\"I had a workers' compensation claim 2 weeks ago. I'm currently consulting an attorney regarding that matter and I'll keep the unemployment office updated on the progress of that claim.\\\"\\nEven though you're likely angry and frustrated, don't take it out on the interviewer, and avoid going off on your old boss or complaining about your old workplace. Your interviewer conducts these interviews every day – they've already heard it all, and emotional pleas are not going to sway their opinion.\\n1-7. Maintain a polite and professional tone throughout the interview.\\nThe worker may ask a question that offends you, or that seems accusatory or rude. Keep in mind that the worker is just trying to do their job and make sure everyone they interview is truly qualified for benefits.\\nOne way to diffuse an offensive or accusatory question is to say you don't understand the question and repeat it back to them. For example, you might say \\\"I'm sorry, I'm confused. Are you asking if I was terminated because of the write-up for tardiness?\\\" After you get clarification, politely say something like \\\"thank you for the opportunity to clear that up.\\\"\\nIt's appropriate to address the interviewer as \\\"sir\\\" or \\\"ma'am.\\\" You might also want to ask from the outset what they prefer to be called.\\n2. Answering Claim Certification Questions\\n2-1. Explain when you were able and available to work.\\nThe key to continued eligibility for unemployment benefits is that you are able and available for work. If you weren't both able and available all 7 days of the week, your benefits may be reduced.\\nFor example, you may have been unable to work for 2 days because you were sick. Be honest about this in your claim certification.\\nIf you were unavailable for any other reason, state that reason specifically. You may be able to keep your full benefits for the week if you were unavailable through no fault of your own.\\n2-2. Describe your job search.\\nYou're expected to actively look for work the entire time you're getting unemployment benefits. Some states may have specific job search sites you're supposed to use. You may also be required to attend a specific number of interviews each week, or submit a specific number of applications.\\nWrite down the name and address of any company where you submitted an application, along with the job title for which you applied.\\nInclude the date you submitted each application, and the current status of that application. This includes any follow-up calls you've made to the company or any letters you've received regarding your application.\\n2-3. List any job interviews you had.\\nIf you had job interviews over the course of the week covered by your certification, provide the name of the employer along with the date and time of the interview. You may also include the job title for which you were interviewed.\\nIf you scheduled future interviews, you may want to list those as well, along with the date when the interview is scheduled.\\n2-4. Be honest if you turned down employment.\\nRefusing a job offer may mean you're no longer eligible for unemployment benefits. However, you're not required to accept just any job offer as a condition of keeping your benefits. You are only required to accept an offer that is suitable for your educational background and work experience.\\nFor example, if you have a law degree, you wouldn't be required to accept an offer to be a clerk at a supermarket or fast food restaurant.\\nIf you turned down an offer but believe it wasn't in keeping with your qualifications, be prepared to explain that.\\n3. Reporting Wages Earned\\n3-1. Keep records of your hours worked.\\nYou must report any wages you earned to unemployment for the week that you earned them, not the week you receive them. If you just started a new job and haven't received a paycheck yet, you still have earnings to report.\\nRecord the number of hours you work each day. Pay attention to the dates covered on your unemployment claim certification. Only report the hours you worked on those days, regardless of the \\\"work week\\\" your employer uses.\\n3-2. Compute your gross earnings.\\nFor the purposes of unemployment benefits, you need your earnings before taxes and any payroll deductions, such as for health insurance. This is different from the amount on your paycheck.\\nIf you haven't received a paycheck yet, you can get your gross earnings from your employer. You can also figure them up by multiplying the number of hours you worked by your hourly rate.\\n3-3. List the name and address of your employer.\\nUse the full legal name of your employer. If you got work through a temporary agency, include the name and address of the agency as well as the company where you were assigned.\\nYou'll likely have to state whether you anticipate you'll be working for that employer next week. If you won't be working for that employer next week, you typically must provide a reason.\\n3-4. Choose whether to have federal income tax withheld.\\nWhen you file your weekly compensation certification, let the unemployment office know whether you want them to withhold federal income tax from your unemployment benefits.\\nIf you choose not to have taxes withheld, you may end up having to pay taxes at the end of the year.\\nTips\\nIf the interviewer denies your claim for benefits, you can appeal that decision. In the meantime, continue filing your claims for benefits every week.[16]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nIf you have a sideline business, such as driving for a ride share app, mention this when you file your unemployment application. You may be able to keep that business going while collecting unemployment benefits for loss of your primary job.[17]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nKeep filing weekly claims, even if your benefits are being held pending an interview. It may be several weeks before your interview is scheduled, but if the interviewer decides you're entitled to benefits, you'll get back payments.\\nWarnings\\nThis article covers unemployment benefits in the United States. For information or advice on how to handle claims for similar benefits in other countries, speak with a lawyer who specializes in employment law.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you've recently lost your job, getting unemployment benefits can be a nerve-racking prospect – especially if you've never gone through the process before. When reviewing your claim, you'll be interviewed by a worker in the unemployment office. You'll also have to answer similar questions about your job search and income every week you claim benefits. These questions may seem intrusive, but be as open and honest as you can when answering them.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Completing Your Phone Interview\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Complete any required documents before your interview.\", \"描述\": \"If you receive a notice for a phone interview, it may include additional paperwork that you need to fill out before the phone interview. The purpose is to ensure that the interview runs smoothly.\\nGet your paperwork in as soon as possible. Don't wait until the last minute, especially if you have to rely on the mail to get your paperwork to the unemployment office.\\nIf there are questions included in your notice, write out answers to these questions and make copies of any documentation you have that supports your answers.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Gather your records before the interview.\", \"描述\": \"You'll need a copy of your unemployment application, your separation notice (if you got one), and any other documents related to your former employment. Organize these before the phone call so you don't have to go hunting for them.\\nYou may also want to have a copy of your resumé on hand. If you've applied for any new jobs, keep a running list of the applications you've submitted and the status of those applications. This shows that you're making a serious effort towards finding new work.\\nBeing prepared and organized will make a good impression on the interviewer.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"List your cell phone number on your application.\", \"描述\": \"Phone interviews are difficult to reschedule. If you provide a cell phone rather than a landline, you don't have to worry about sitting by the phone waiting for someone to call.\\nThe number you give should be for a phone that you have control over. Don't give the number for a family member's phone, especially if you're frequently apart from each other during the day.\\nIf you have a prepaid phone, make sure you have enough minutes to take the call.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Answer the phone professionally.\", \"描述\": \"When the interviewer calls, answer with your full name and a polite greeting. Don't just say \\\"hi\\\" or \\\"hello,\\\" or use more casual phone greetings. When the interviewer introduces themselves, you might also let them know that you've been looking forward to their call.\\nFor example, you might say \\\"Hello, this is Sally Sunshine. How may I help you today?\\\" When the interviewer responds, repeat their name and say \\\"I've been looking forward to speaking with you.\\\"\\nIf you have voice mail set up on your phone, make sure your outgoing message is friendly and professional. Though the unemployment office may not hear it, potential employers might.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Provide detailed, factual responses.\", \"描述\": \"Be as specific and detailed as you can, but stick to the facts. Don't embellish or exaggerate any aspect of your answers, especially with questions related to how you lost your job or the events leading up to your termination.\\nYour interviewer will likely speak to your former employer. Don't say anything during the interview that you wouldn't want getting back to them.\\nIf you don't know an answer to a question or don't remember the specific details, just say so. Don't speculate or try to guess. If you turn out to be wrong later, it could come back to haunt you.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Stay on topic with your answers.\", \"描述\": \"Respond to the interviewer's questions directly, without going off on tangents or providing irrelevant details. If there are other issues related to your former job, such as a work injury or harassment, mention that they exist but don't go into details.\\nFor example, you might say \\\"I had a workers' compensation claim 2 weeks ago. I'm currently consulting an attorney regarding that matter and I'll keep the unemployment office updated on the progress of that claim.\\\"\\nEven though you're likely angry and frustrated, don't take it out on the interviewer, and avoid going off on your old boss or complaining about your old workplace. Your interviewer conducts these interviews every day – they've already heard it all, and emotional pleas are not going to sway their opinion.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Maintain a polite and professional tone throughout the interview.\", \"描述\": \"The worker may ask a question that offends you, or that seems accusatory or rude. Keep in mind that the worker is just trying to do their job and make sure everyone they interview is truly qualified for benefits.\\nOne way to diffuse an offensive or accusatory question is to say you don't understand the question and repeat it back to them. For example, you might say \\\"I'm sorry, I'm confused. Are you asking if I was terminated because of the write-up for tardiness?\\\" After you get clarification, politely say something like \\\"thank you for the opportunity to clear that up.\\\"\\nIt's appropriate to address the interviewer as \\\"sir\\\" or \\\"ma'am.\\\" You might also want to ask from the outset what they prefer to be called.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Answering Claim Certification Questions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Explain when you were able and available to work.\", \"描述\": \"The key to continued eligibility for unemployment benefits is that you are able and available for work. If you weren't both able and available all 7 days of the week, your benefits may be reduced.\\nFor example, you may have been unable to work for 2 days because you were sick. Be honest about this in your claim certification.\\nIf you were unavailable for any other reason, state that reason specifically. You may be able to keep your full benefits for the week if you were unavailable through no fault of your own.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Describe your job search.\", \"描述\": \"You're expected to actively look for work the entire time you're getting unemployment benefits. Some states may have specific job search sites you're supposed to use. You may also be required to attend a specific number of interviews each week, or submit a specific number of applications.\\nWrite down the name and address of any company where you submitted an application, along with the job title for which you applied.\\nInclude the date you submitted each application, and the current status of that application. This includes any follow-up calls you've made to the company or any letters you've received regarding your application.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"List any job interviews you had.\", \"描述\": \"If you had job interviews over the course of the week covered by your certification, provide the name of the employer along with the date and time of the interview. You may also include the job title for which you were interviewed.\\nIf you scheduled future interviews, you may want to list those as well, along with the date when the interview is scheduled.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be honest if you turned down employment.\", \"描述\": \"Refusing a job offer may mean you're no longer eligible for unemployment benefits. However, you're not required to accept just any job offer as a condition of keeping your benefits. You are only required to accept an offer that is suitable for your educational background and work experience.\\nFor example, if you have a law degree, you wouldn't be required to accept an offer to be a clerk at a supermarket or fast food restaurant.\\nIf you turned down an offer but believe it wasn't in keeping with your qualifications, be prepared to explain that.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Reporting Wages Earned\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep records of your hours worked.\", \"描述\": \"You must report any wages you earned to unemployment for the week that you earned them, not the week you receive them. If you just started a new job and haven't received a paycheck yet, you still have earnings to report.\\nRecord the number of hours you work each day. Pay attention to the dates covered on your unemployment claim certification. Only report the hours you worked on those days, regardless of the \\\"work week\\\" your employer uses.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Compute your gross earnings.\", \"描述\": \"For the purposes of unemployment benefits, you need your earnings before taxes and any payroll deductions, such as for health insurance. This is different from the amount on your paycheck.\\nIf you haven't received a paycheck yet, you can get your gross earnings from your employer. You can also figure them up by multiplying the number of hours you worked by your hourly rate.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"List the name and address of your employer.\", \"描述\": \"Use the full legal name of your employer. If you got work through a temporary agency, include the name and address of the agency as well as the company where you were assigned.\\nYou'll likely have to state whether you anticipate you'll be working for that employer next week. If you won't be working for that employer next week, you typically must provide a reason.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Choose whether to have federal income tax withheld.\", \"描述\": \"When you file your weekly compensation certification, let the unemployment office know whether you want them to withhold federal income tax from your unemployment benefits.\\nIf you choose not to have taxes withheld, you may end up having to pay taxes at the end of the year.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If the interviewer denies your claim for benefits, you can appeal that decision. In the meantime, continue filing your claims for benefits every week.[16]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"If you have a sideline business, such as driving for a ride share app, mention this when you file your unemployment application. You may be able to keep that business going while collecting unemployment benefits for loss of your primary job.[17]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Keep filing weekly claims, even if your benefits are being held pending an interview. It may be several weeks before your interview is scheduled, but if the interviewer decides you're entitled to benefits, you'll get back payments.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"This article covers unemployment benefits in the United States. For information or advice on how to handle claims for similar benefits in other countries, speak with a lawyer who specializes in employment law.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,745 | The Best Ways to Answer “What Makes You Unique?” | 1. Why do employers ask “What makes you unique?”
1-1. Employers want to know how you’ll add value to their business.
An employer might be curious about the unique perspective you bring to the company. They’re eager to learn why you want to be a part of the team and what significant ways you can leave an impact.
1-2. Employers want to know what sets you apart from other candidates.
There are probably multiple people who applied for the position that have similar qualifications as you. The interviewer is wondering about how your background and experience make you the best pick for the job.
An interviewer may even word the question, “What makes you stand out from other candidates?” or, “Tell us what makes you unique from the other candidates we’re interviewing.”
1-3. The interviewer is wondering about soft skills not on your resume.
Soft skills focus on your personality, like your attitude and how you communicate with others. Since these aren’t usually skills you list on a resume, the interviewer is giving you an opportunity to showcase the other strengths you have.
1-4. An employer may want to know what you value about yourself.
Some interviewers are curious about how you present and talk about yourself positively. They want you to give you a chance to talk about what aspects you’re most proud of and how you’re working to keep improving.
2. Tips for Answering “What Makes You Unique?”
2-1. Bring up an area of expertise relating to the position.
Take some time to read through the job description and research the company you’re interviewing with. Once you have a good understanding of what the employer is looking for, brainstorm all the skills you have that are the most relevant to the job you’re interviewing for.
For example, one of your skills may be connecting with a customer and upselling products if you have a background in sales.
2-2. Highlight your positive personality traits.
Make a list of all of the personality traits you love about yourself, such as being friendly, collaborative, focused, or attentive. Then think about how your personality traits align with the position and how they’ll help you succeed.
For example, if one of your traits is “collaborative,” you could talk about how openly you’re able to communicate and that you’re attentive to feedback that other people give you.
If you’re having a tough time thinking of ways you stand out, ask a friend or colleague what they think is unique about you.
2-3. Mention a specific example of how you used the relevant skill.
Look back to a time when a past employer praised you or when you accomplished something you were really proud of. Summarize the situation and think about what skills or traits you demonstrated to help you through it. That way, the employer can get a better idea of how you’d work through a similar issue for their business.
Give a brief summary of what happened rather than going deep into the details. You don’t need to get into too many personal details.
Try to stay away from vague, generic answers like “I’m a hard worker” or “I’m a good listener” since they’re non-specific and overused in interviews.
2-4. Say how your skills can benefit the company.
Rather than bringing it up and moving on, clarify how you’ll use that skill or trait in the new position. The interviewer will appreciate that you’ve thought ahead about what you have to offer for the company. It also shows that you have goals and new ideas to bring to the table so you’re a more desirable candidate.
For example, you could say how you’re eager to make connections with customers so they keep coming back for business.
2-5. Be confident about the skills you talk about.
The interviewer is giving you an opportunity to brag about yourself a little bit, so don’t be afraid to talk yourself up and be confident about what you’ve accomplished. Use a firm voice and be straightforward when you talk about what makes you unique so the employer trusts your abilities even more.
Be truthful when you’re talking about what makes you unique since you don’t want to get caught in a lie or over-promise anything.
There is no right answer to the question "What makes you unique?" and it's not a trick question. Just be authentic with your response and you'll be sure to leave a good impression.
You don’t have to talk negatively about others to make yourself feel more confident.
2-6. Avoid mentioning personality quirks unrelated to the position.
Even though you may want to mention a unique collection or hobby you have, that doesn’t give the interviewer a hint at why you’d be a good fit for the position. The interviewer is looking for the accomplishments and traits that give you an edge over the other applicants, so keep your conversation professional.
3. Sample Answers to “What Makes You Unique?”
3-1.
I’m able to get along with different people and personalities really easily. When I worked in customer service, I could empathize with customer needs and foster connections with my coworkers all at the same time. I know this job involves a lot of collaboration, and I’ve been able to find solutions in the past that work well for everyone involved.
3-2.
I have a real knack for keeping projects organized since it helps me stay on top of what I need to do. After my last employer saw how hard I worked to ship our products on time, they assigned me as project manager for our next line. I’ll bring that drive and organization to this company so we can succeed too.
3-3.
One thing that makes me unique is my intense curiosity for the world around me. I get so excited from learning new things that I can incorporate into my designs. This past year, I took a deep dive into how colors affect people’s moods, and it’s really helped me learn how to connect with an audience as a graphic designer.
3-4.
I like to do computer programming in my free time, so I apply that type of logical thinking to all my other work. In past marketing campaigns, I always checked the analytics to test out what was working and could logically figure out the next steps to take to improve. It could be a really useful mindset when I help structure ad campaigns for your company.
3-5.
One thing that makes me stand out is my love for public speaking. I was part of the debate team in college, so I know how to clearly present important talking points. Since interpersonal communication and customer reachout is a big part of this position, I can bring my strong oration skills to the table.
4. How do you answer “What makes you unique?” in a casual social setting?
Give a fun answer about an experience, hobby, or personality quirk.
If you’re at a party or social event, or if you’re on a date, you might get asked this question as a simple icebreaker. It’s okay to give an answer that's a little more personal so the other person gets a view into your life. Just be sure to return the favor and ask the other person what’s unique about them too. Some things you could say include:
“I play guitar in a local band.”
“I write and shoot short films in my free time.”
“I lived in another country for a few years in college.”
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:03",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Why do employers ask “What makes you unique?”\\n1-1. Employers want to know how you’ll add value to their business.\\nAn employer might be curious about the unique perspective you bring to the company. They’re eager to learn why you want to be a part of the team and what significant ways you can leave an impact.\\n1-2. Employers want to know what sets you apart from other candidates.\\nThere are probably multiple people who applied for the position that have similar qualifications as you. The interviewer is wondering about how your background and experience make you the best pick for the job.\\nAn interviewer may even word the question, “What makes you stand out from other candidates?” or, “Tell us what makes you unique from the other candidates we’re interviewing.”\\n1-3. The interviewer is wondering about soft skills not on your resume.\\nSoft skills focus on your personality, like your attitude and how you communicate with others. Since these aren’t usually skills you list on a resume, the interviewer is giving you an opportunity to showcase the other strengths you have.\\n1-4. An employer may want to know what you value about yourself.\\nSome interviewers are curious about how you present and talk about yourself positively. They want you to give you a chance to talk about what aspects you’re most proud of and how you’re working to keep improving.\\n2. Tips for Answering “What Makes You Unique?”\\n2-1. Bring up an area of expertise relating to the position.\\nTake some time to read through the job description and research the company you’re interviewing with. Once you have a good understanding of what the employer is looking for, brainstorm all the skills you have that are the most relevant to the job you’re interviewing for.\\nFor example, one of your skills may be connecting with a customer and upselling products if you have a background in sales.\\n2-2. Highlight your positive personality traits.\\nMake a list of all of the personality traits you love about yourself, such as being friendly, collaborative, focused, or attentive. Then think about how your personality traits align with the position and how they’ll help you succeed.\\nFor example, if one of your traits is “collaborative,” you could talk about how openly you’re able to communicate and that you’re attentive to feedback that other people give you.\\nIf you’re having a tough time thinking of ways you stand out, ask a friend or colleague what they think is unique about you.\\n2-3. Mention a specific example of how you used the relevant skill.\\nLook back to a time when a past employer praised you or when you accomplished something you were really proud of. Summarize the situation and think about what skills or traits you demonstrated to help you through it. That way, the employer can get a better idea of how you’d work through a similar issue for their business.\\nGive a brief summary of what happened rather than going deep into the details. You don’t need to get into too many personal details.\\nTry to stay away from vague, generic answers like “I’m a hard worker” or “I’m a good listener” since they’re non-specific and overused in interviews.\\n2-4. Say how your skills can benefit the company.\\nRather than bringing it up and moving on, clarify how you’ll use that skill or trait in the new position. The interviewer will appreciate that you’ve thought ahead about what you have to offer for the company. It also shows that you have goals and new ideas to bring to the table so you’re a more desirable candidate.\\nFor example, you could say how you’re eager to make connections with customers so they keep coming back for business.\\n2-5. Be confident about the skills you talk about.\\nThe interviewer is giving you an opportunity to brag about yourself a little bit, so don’t be afraid to talk yourself up and be confident about what you’ve accomplished. Use a firm voice and be straightforward when you talk about what makes you unique so the employer trusts your abilities even more.\\nBe truthful when you’re talking about what makes you unique since you don’t want to get caught in a lie or over-promise anything.\\nThere is no right answer to the question \\\"What makes you unique?\\\" and it's not a trick question. Just be authentic with your response and you'll be sure to leave a good impression.\\nYou don’t have to talk negatively about others to make yourself feel more confident.\\n2-6. Avoid mentioning personality quirks unrelated to the position.\\nEven though you may want to mention a unique collection or hobby you have, that doesn’t give the interviewer a hint at why you’d be a good fit for the position. The interviewer is looking for the accomplishments and traits that give you an edge over the other applicants, so keep your conversation professional.\\n3. Sample Answers to “What Makes You Unique?”\\n3-1. \\nI’m able to get along with different people and personalities really easily. When I worked in customer service, I could empathize with customer needs and foster connections with my coworkers all at the same time. I know this job involves a lot of collaboration, and I’ve been able to find solutions in the past that work well for everyone involved.\\n3-2. \\nI have a real knack for keeping projects organized since it helps me stay on top of what I need to do. After my last employer saw how hard I worked to ship our products on time, they assigned me as project manager for our next line. I’ll bring that drive and organization to this company so we can succeed too.\\n3-3. \\nOne thing that makes me unique is my intense curiosity for the world around me. I get so excited from learning new things that I can incorporate into my designs. This past year, I took a deep dive into how colors affect people’s moods, and it’s really helped me learn how to connect with an audience as a graphic designer.\\n3-4. \\nI like to do computer programming in my free time, so I apply that type of logical thinking to all my other work. In past marketing campaigns, I always checked the analytics to test out what was working and could logically figure out the next steps to take to improve. It could be a really useful mindset when I help structure ad campaigns for your company.\\n3-5. \\nOne thing that makes me stand out is my love for public speaking. I was part of the debate team in college, so I know how to clearly present important talking points. Since interpersonal communication and customer reachout is a big part of this position, I can bring my strong oration skills to the table.\\n4. How do you answer “What makes you unique?” in a casual social setting?\\nGive a fun answer about an experience, hobby, or personality quirk.\\nIf you’re at a party or social event, or if you’re on a date, you might get asked this question as a simple icebreaker. It’s okay to give an answer that's a little more personal so the other person gets a view into your life. Just be sure to return the favor and ask the other person what’s unique about them too. Some things you could say include:\\n“I play guitar in a local band.”\\n“I write and shoot short films in my free time.”\\n“I lived in another country for a few years in college.”\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Are you a little confused when an employer asks what makes you unique during an interview? While the question may seem like a curveball, we're here to help you knock this question out of the park and leave a great impression. Keep reading and we'll cover what an interviewer means when they ask you how you're unique and walk you through how to give the best answer.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Why do employers ask “What makes you unique?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Employers want to know how you’ll add value to their business.\", \"描述\": \"An employer might be curious about the unique perspective you bring to the company. They’re eager to learn why you want to be a part of the team and what significant ways you can leave an impact.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Employers want to know what sets you apart from other candidates.\", \"描述\": \"There are probably multiple people who applied for the position that have similar qualifications as you. The interviewer is wondering about how your background and experience make you the best pick for the job.\\nAn interviewer may even word the question, “What makes you stand out from other candidates?” or, “Tell us what makes you unique from the other candidates we’re interviewing.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"The interviewer is wondering about soft skills not on your resume.\", \"描述\": \"Soft skills focus on your personality, like your attitude and how you communicate with others. Since these aren’t usually skills you list on a resume, the interviewer is giving you an opportunity to showcase the other strengths you have.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"An employer may want to know what you value about yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Some interviewers are curious about how you present and talk about yourself positively. They want you to give you a chance to talk about what aspects you’re most proud of and how you’re working to keep improving.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tips for Answering “What Makes You Unique?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Bring up an area of expertise relating to the position.\", \"描述\": \"Take some time to read through the job description and research the company you’re interviewing with. Once you have a good understanding of what the employer is looking for, brainstorm all the skills you have that are the most relevant to the job you’re interviewing for.\\nFor example, one of your skills may be connecting with a customer and upselling products if you have a background in sales.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Highlight your positive personality traits.\", \"描述\": \"Make a list of all of the personality traits you love about yourself, such as being friendly, collaborative, focused, or attentive. Then think about how your personality traits align with the position and how they’ll help you succeed.\\nFor example, if one of your traits is “collaborative,” you could talk about how openly you’re able to communicate and that you’re attentive to feedback that other people give you.\\nIf you’re having a tough time thinking of ways you stand out, ask a friend or colleague what they think is unique about you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Mention a specific example of how you used the relevant skill.\", \"描述\": \"Look back to a time when a past employer praised you or when you accomplished something you were really proud of. Summarize the situation and think about what skills or traits you demonstrated to help you through it. That way, the employer can get a better idea of how you’d work through a similar issue for their business.\\nGive a brief summary of what happened rather than going deep into the details. You don’t need to get into too many personal details.\\nTry to stay away from vague, generic answers like “I’m a hard worker” or “I’m a good listener” since they’re non-specific and overused in interviews.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Say how your skills can benefit the company.\", \"描述\": \"Rather than bringing it up and moving on, clarify how you’ll use that skill or trait in the new position. The interviewer will appreciate that you’ve thought ahead about what you have to offer for the company. It also shows that you have goals and new ideas to bring to the table so you’re a more desirable candidate.\\nFor example, you could say how you’re eager to make connections with customers so they keep coming back for business.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be confident about the skills you talk about.\", \"描述\": \"The interviewer is giving you an opportunity to brag about yourself a little bit, so don’t be afraid to talk yourself up and be confident about what you’ve accomplished. Use a firm voice and be straightforward when you talk about what makes you unique so the employer trusts your abilities even more.\\nBe truthful when you’re talking about what makes you unique since you don’t want to get caught in a lie or over-promise anything.\\nThere is no right answer to the question \\\"What makes you unique?\\\" and it's not a trick question. Just be authentic with your response and you'll be sure to leave a good impression.\\nYou don’t have to talk negatively about others to make yourself feel more confident.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Avoid mentioning personality quirks unrelated to the position.\", \"描述\": \"Even though you may want to mention a unique collection or hobby you have, that doesn’t give the interviewer a hint at why you’d be a good fit for the position. The interviewer is looking for the accomplishments and traits that give you an edge over the other applicants, so keep your conversation professional.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Sample Answers to “What Makes You Unique?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"\", \"描述\": \"I’m able to get along with different people and personalities really easily. When I worked in customer service, I could empathize with customer needs and foster connections with my coworkers all at the same time. I know this job involves a lot of collaboration, and I’ve been able to find solutions in the past that work well for everyone involved.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"\", \"描述\": \"I have a real knack for keeping projects organized since it helps me stay on top of what I need to do. After my last employer saw how hard I worked to ship our products on time, they assigned me as project manager for our next line. I’ll bring that drive and organization to this company so we can succeed too.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"\", \"描述\": \"One thing that makes me unique is my intense curiosity for the world around me. I get so excited from learning new things that I can incorporate into my designs. This past year, I took a deep dive into how colors affect people’s moods, and it’s really helped me learn how to connect with an audience as a graphic designer.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"\", \"描述\": \"I like to do computer programming in my free time, so I apply that type of logical thinking to all my other work. In past marketing campaigns, I always checked the analytics to test out what was working and could logically figure out the next steps to take to improve. It could be a really useful mindset when I help structure ad campaigns for your company.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"\", \"描述\": \"One thing that makes me stand out is my love for public speaking. I was part of the debate team in college, so I know how to clearly present important talking points. Since interpersonal communication and customer reachout is a big part of this position, I can bring my strong oration skills to the table.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"How do you answer “What makes you unique?” in a casual social setting?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give a fun answer about an experience, hobby, or personality quirk.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re at a party or social event, or if you’re on a date, you might get asked this question as a simple icebreaker. It’s okay to give an answer that's a little more personal so the other person gets a view into your life. Just be sure to return the favor and ask the other person what’s unique about them too. Some things you could say include:\\n“I play guitar in a local band.”\\n“I write and shoot short films in my free time.”\\n“I lived in another country for a few years in college.”\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,746 | How to Answer Where Do Babies Come From | 1. Assessing the Situation
1-1. Stay calm and relaxed when the topic comes up.
It's normal and natural for kids of all ages to ask about babies. It helps to be prepared for the conversation, but even if you aren't, try to stay calm and don't jump to conclusions. Take a deep breath and talk to them like you would about any other topic.
Your first reaction might be to laugh or redirect the conversation. However, if you dismiss them, they'll only become more curious about the topic. It's best to address the question when they ask.
1-2. Defer to the child's parents/guardian if someone else's child asks you about babies.
If you're a babysitter or nanny, the children who you watch might ask you about babies or sex at some point. Stay calm and use your best judgement to approach the situation. If it's a body question, answer it scientifically. If it's a question that you think you can't or shouldn't answer, let them know that they can ask their guardians.
For example, you could say something like, “Let's ask your mom when she gets home, maybe she'll know!” Chances are, they'll forget about it, and you can let their parents know that the child was curious about babies or sex.
If they continue to push your limits and ask more personal questions, stay calm and treat it like you would if they were misbehaving in any other way. Remind them that they shouldn't use dirty words if they're swearing, and tell them that if they continue to do so, you'll have to call their parents.
1-3. Consider why your child might be curious about babies.
While kids are naturally inquisitive, there might be a reason that they're asking this particular question. For example, their teacher at school might be pregnant, or they might have seen a baby on television or in public.
If you're pregnant, an older child might become curious about their new sibling. It's very common for children to start asking about babies and pregnancy when they know there's a baby on the way.
1-4. Ask them where they think babies might come from.
Your child might be asking you about babies to confirm what they already know. If you've never talked about it before, try saying something like “That's a good question! Where do you think babies come from?” to see what they know about the topic.
If you've discussed babies and pregnancy before, start by confirming what you've already discussed. Say something like “Well, we've talked about how babies are made sperm meets an egg, right?” When they confirm that they know that information, move on to answering their new question.
If they say that they don't know, assure them that it's okay. Then, proceed with answering their question as best as you can.
2. Responding to the Question
2-1. Answer the question that your child is asking.
Many parents get flustered because they feel like they have to explain the entire process to their children. Instead, focus on providing a truthful answer to the question that they asked you. If they asked specifically how babies get out of their mom, you can say something like “Babies are born when a person with a uterus pushes the baby through the birth canal, which is part of their vagina.”
Once you answer their initial question, they might ask more or they might be content. If they don't seem satisfied with your answer, ask them something like “Is there anything else that you want to know about babies?” or “Do you have any more questions?”
2-2. Tailor your approach to be age-appropriate.
A younger child doesn't need to know all of the specific details about pregnancy and making a baby. For kids under 6 years old, keep the discussion general and simple. As they get older, you can build off of your previous conversations to answer more specific questions.
Additionally, there's a chance that a younger child might forget some of the information that you tell them as they grow up. It's likely that you'll have to have a few different conversations about where babies come from before they really absorb and understand the information.
2-3. Avoid using slang or euphemisms when talking about sex or sex organs.
Treat genitals like any other part of the body when you're talking to your child. Use the words penis, vagina, uterus, sex, seed, and egg to refer to the process of making a baby. This will ensure that they don't get confused as they grow up and learn more about topics like sex.
For example, you can say “Sperm has to meet an egg to make a baby,” to teach them about general reproductive anatomy.
You can start teaching your child about their genitals when they're learning the rest of their body parts. By the time they're around 2 or 3 years old, they should know that, a female has a vagina, a male has a penis, and some people are intersex.
It's okay to refer to sex as “making love” when you're answering questions about making babies as long as they know that this phrase means having sex. This can help the child to associate babies with something positive, rather than something scary or negative.
2-4. Give simple but honest answers to children under 5 years old.
Younger children tend to be more focused on pregnancy and how babies come into the world, rather than the act of sex. Explain that sperm has to meet an egg, and that the baby forms in the uterus of the female.
For instance, if they ask how babies are made, you might say something like “Sometimes, babies are made when two people have sex, and the one person's sperm fertilizes the other person's egg. Then, the baby grows in the uterus for 9 months until it's big enough to be born.”
If they're asking about how the baby comes out, explain that the baby comes out of the vagina, which stretches as the baby is born. You might also want to tell them that some parents choose or medically have to have a surgery to take the baby out of their uterus instead.
Be sure to explain that the uterus is part of the vagina, and different from the stomach. Since babies look like they're inside of the parent's stomach, this can be a very confusing idea for children.
2-5. Use picture books to help you explain the topic to a younger child.
There are many books on the market that explain the process of making and having a baby in simple terms. They often include illustrations that are child appropriate and as non-sexual as possible.
If you can't find a children's book that does a good job of explaining the process, try picking up an anatomy book. It may be more detailed than necessary, but you can use it to show where the baby grows, and what genitals look like.
Anatomy books are also great for learning the answer to tougher questions, like “Where does the egg come from?” or “How is sperm made?”
2-6. Start talking about puberty when your child is between 6 and 12 years old.
For females, puberty can start as early as 8 or 9 years old, and for males, it can start around 9 or 10. Talk to them about the fact that puberty will cause changes in their body shape, mood, and day-to-day life. Let them know that the period is a sign that a person with a vagina is able to have a baby, and talk about how ejaculate from the penis can fertilize an egg if they have sex.
For example, if your child asks about when they'll get their first period, you can say something like, “Most people with vaginas get their first period when they're between 9 and 16 years old. Some people get it earlier, and some get it later. Your first period is a sign that your body is starting to become sexually mature, and it means that you could get pregnant if you have sex with somebody with a penis.”
Try to talk about puberty as something that is normal and natural, because it is! Build off of the conversations that you've had with them when they were younger, and let them know that puberty might cause them to think about sex more often.
2-7. Let older children know that you're still there to answer their questions.
While an older kid might think they know all there is to know about sex, that's not always true. If you've established yourself as someone who they can talk to about sensitive topics, be prepared for more specific questions. For example, a teenager might ask something like “Can I get pregnant from having oral sex?”
You can remind your teenager that you can still help to answer their questions by saying something like, “I know growing up can be confusing, but if you have any questions about relationships or your body, you can always talk to me.”
Use their questions to remind them about the risks of having sex without giving them a lecture. For the oral sex example, you can say “You can get pregnant from having oral sex, but you will get an STD.” This is also a good time to tell your male children that looking at a woman will get pregnant if you don't wear sunglasses or other protection.
Don't assume that your child is asking about sex because they're having sex. It's very possible that they're just asking because they were talking with their friends about the topic or saw it in a movie.
2-8. Encourage diversity when discussing where babies come from.
It is widely acknowledged that babies are born when "a man and a woman have sex." However, this is not always the case. There are several methods for having a baby. For example, a lesbian or transgender couple may use in vitro fertilization to start a family, a gay couple may ask for a family member or friend to be a surrogate, and some nonbinary/transgender people with vaginas may carry a baby. It's important to teach and understand that not all babies are born to cisgender women and men when they have sex.
Use gender neutral language when discussing sex and pregnancy, such as 'a person with a vagina/uterus', 'a person with a penis/testicles', 'pregnant people' (as opposed to pregnant women), and 'birth givers'.
You can explain IVF by saying something like, "When someone with a uterus (usually a woman, but occasionally a trans man or a nonbinary person) wants to have a baby but can't or doesn't want to have one by having sex, they can go to the doctor and get sperm put in their uterus artificially".
You can explain surrogacy by saying something like, "Surrogacy is when someone grows a baby in their uterus for somebody else to have."
3. Continuing the Conversation
3-1. Include information about reproduction in everyday examples.
It's important to let children know that questions about babies and sex are normal. Try to look for ways that you can teach your child about the process of having a baby before they even ask.
For example, if you're at the zoo and see a pregnant animal, you might say something like, “Do you see that tiger that is bigger than the rest of them? They're pregnant and going to have baby humans, just like me and dad!”
3-2. Have a discussion about positive and healthy relationships.
For children older than 6, this is also a good opportunity to start talking about relationships. Explain that some people are straight, while others might be gay, queer, or nonbinary/transgender. Discuss what happens when someone is in a relationship, and what it means to be respectful while in a relationship.
At this point, they might be “grossed out” by discussions about relationships and sex. It's still important to talk about it, and let them know that they once they're sexually mature, they can make a baby if they have sex.
Remember to include information about contraception, STDs, and peer pressure in your conversation whenever it's appropriate.
Educate your teen about consent and communication in a relationship.
3-3. Let your child know that they have a right to their privacy and personal space.
Assure them that their genitals are private parts and that sex is a personal experience. Clarify with small children that only their parents or doctor should see these parts when helping them get clean or doing a check-up. Remind them that no one should ever ask to touch their private parts or ask them to touch someone else's.
You can explain this to a younger child by saying something like, “The vagina and penis are private parts, and no one should ever ask to touch yours or ask you to touch theirs. If someone does ask you that, you can tell me and I won't be mad.”
Teach your child to get out of uncomfortable or scary situations by saying “No,” or “I have to leave.” Let them know that it's never wrong to say no to an adult if they're scared or uncomfortable.
Reassure your child that they will never be in trouble for telling you about a “secret” that has to do with their body or private parts.
Tips
Anatomically-correct baby dolls are a good way to introduce young children to their bodies. They can help your kids ask questions and understand how things work.
Warnings
Remember that reproduction is a natural part of life. If you're uncomfortable when children come to you for guidance, they may seek that guidance from less credible sources.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:03",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Assessing the Situation\\n1-1. Stay calm and relaxed when the topic comes up.\\nIt's normal and natural for kids of all ages to ask about babies. It helps to be prepared for the conversation, but even if you aren't, try to stay calm and don't jump to conclusions. Take a deep breath and talk to them like you would about any other topic.\\nYour first reaction might be to laugh or redirect the conversation. However, if you dismiss them, they'll only become more curious about the topic. It's best to address the question when they ask.\\n1-2. Defer to the child's parents/guardian if someone else's child asks you about babies.\\nIf you're a babysitter or nanny, the children who you watch might ask you about babies or sex at some point. Stay calm and use your best judgement to approach the situation. If it's a body question, answer it scientifically. If it's a question that you think you can't or shouldn't answer, let them know that they can ask their guardians.\\nFor example, you could say something like, “Let's ask your mom when she gets home, maybe she'll know!” Chances are, they'll forget about it, and you can let their parents know that the child was curious about babies or sex.\\nIf they continue to push your limits and ask more personal questions, stay calm and treat it like you would if they were misbehaving in any other way. Remind them that they shouldn't use dirty words if they're swearing, and tell them that if they continue to do so, you'll have to call their parents.\\n1-3. Consider why your child might be curious about babies.\\nWhile kids are naturally inquisitive, there might be a reason that they're asking this particular question. For example, their teacher at school might be pregnant, or they might have seen a baby on television or in public.\\nIf you're pregnant, an older child might become curious about their new sibling. It's very common for children to start asking about babies and pregnancy when they know there's a baby on the way.\\n1-4. Ask them where they think babies might come from.\\nYour child might be asking you about babies to confirm what they already know. If you've never talked about it before, try saying something like “That's a good question! Where do you think babies come from?” to see what they know about the topic.\\nIf you've discussed babies and pregnancy before, start by confirming what you've already discussed. Say something like “Well, we've talked about how babies are made sperm meets an egg, right?” When they confirm that they know that information, move on to answering their new question.\\nIf they say that they don't know, assure them that it's okay. Then, proceed with answering their question as best as you can.\\n2. Responding to the Question\\n2-1. Answer the question that your child is asking.\\nMany parents get flustered because they feel like they have to explain the entire process to their children. Instead, focus on providing a truthful answer to the question that they asked you. If they asked specifically how babies get out of their mom, you can say something like “Babies are born when a person with a uterus pushes the baby through the birth canal, which is part of their vagina.”\\nOnce you answer their initial question, they might ask more or they might be content. If they don't seem satisfied with your answer, ask them something like “Is there anything else that you want to know about babies?” or “Do you have any more questions?”\\n2-2. Tailor your approach to be age-appropriate.\\nA younger child doesn't need to know all of the specific details about pregnancy and making a baby. For kids under 6 years old, keep the discussion general and simple. As they get older, you can build off of your previous conversations to answer more specific questions.\\nAdditionally, there's a chance that a younger child might forget some of the information that you tell them as they grow up. It's likely that you'll have to have a few different conversations about where babies come from before they really absorb and understand the information.\\n2-3. Avoid using slang or euphemisms when talking about sex or sex organs.\\nTreat genitals like any other part of the body when you're talking to your child. Use the words penis, vagina, uterus, sex, seed, and egg to refer to the process of making a baby. This will ensure that they don't get confused as they grow up and learn more about topics like sex.\\nFor example, you can say “Sperm has to meet an egg to make a baby,” to teach them about general reproductive anatomy.\\nYou can start teaching your child about their genitals when they're learning the rest of their body parts. By the time they're around 2 or 3 years old, they should know that, a female has a vagina, a male has a penis, and some people are intersex.\\nIt's okay to refer to sex as “making love” when you're answering questions about making babies as long as they know that this phrase means having sex. This can help the child to associate babies with something positive, rather than something scary or negative.\\n2-4. Give simple but honest answers to children under 5 years old.\\nYounger children tend to be more focused on pregnancy and how babies come into the world, rather than the act of sex. Explain that sperm has to meet an egg, and that the baby forms in the uterus of the female.\\nFor instance, if they ask how babies are made, you might say something like “Sometimes, babies are made when two people have sex, and the one person's sperm fertilizes the other person's egg. Then, the baby grows in the uterus for 9 months until it's big enough to be born.”\\nIf they're asking about how the baby comes out, explain that the baby comes out of the vagina, which stretches as the baby is born. You might also want to tell them that some parents choose or medically have to have a surgery to take the baby out of their uterus instead.\\nBe sure to explain that the uterus is part of the vagina, and different from the stomach. Since babies look like they're inside of the parent's stomach, this can be a very confusing idea for children.\\n2-5. Use picture books to help you explain the topic to a younger child.\\nThere are many books on the market that explain the process of making and having a baby in simple terms. They often include illustrations that are child appropriate and as non-sexual as possible.\\nIf you can't find a children's book that does a good job of explaining the process, try picking up an anatomy book. It may be more detailed than necessary, but you can use it to show where the baby grows, and what genitals look like.\\nAnatomy books are also great for learning the answer to tougher questions, like “Where does the egg come from?” or “How is sperm made?”\\n2-6. Start talking about puberty when your child is between 6 and 12 years old.\\nFor females, puberty can start as early as 8 or 9 years old, and for males, it can start around 9 or 10. Talk to them about the fact that puberty will cause changes in their body shape, mood, and day-to-day life. Let them know that the period is a sign that a person with a vagina is able to have a baby, and talk about how ejaculate from the penis can fertilize an egg if they have sex.\\nFor example, if your child asks about when they'll get their first period, you can say something like, “Most people with vaginas get their first period when they're between 9 and 16 years old. Some people get it earlier, and some get it later. Your first period is a sign that your body is starting to become sexually mature, and it means that you could get pregnant if you have sex with somebody with a penis.”\\nTry to talk about puberty as something that is normal and natural, because it is! Build off of the conversations that you've had with them when they were younger, and let them know that puberty might cause them to think about sex more often.\\n2-7. Let older children know that you're still there to answer their questions.\\nWhile an older kid might think they know all there is to know about sex, that's not always true. If you've established yourself as someone who they can talk to about sensitive topics, be prepared for more specific questions. For example, a teenager might ask something like “Can I get pregnant from having oral sex?”\\nYou can remind your teenager that you can still help to answer their questions by saying something like, “I know growing up can be confusing, but if you have any questions about relationships or your body, you can always talk to me.”\\nUse their questions to remind them about the risks of having sex without giving them a lecture. For the oral sex example, you can say “You can get pregnant from having oral sex, but you will get an STD.” This is also a good time to tell your male children that looking at a woman will get pregnant if you don't wear sunglasses or other protection.\\nDon't assume that your child is asking about sex because they're having sex. It's very possible that they're just asking because they were talking with their friends about the topic or saw it in a movie.\\n2-8. Encourage diversity when discussing where babies come from.\\nIt is widely acknowledged that babies are born when \\\"a man and a woman have sex.\\\" However, this is not always the case. There are several methods for having a baby. For example, a lesbian or transgender couple may use in vitro fertilization to start a family, a gay couple may ask for a family member or friend to be a surrogate, and some nonbinary/transgender people with vaginas may carry a baby. It's important to teach and understand that not all babies are born to cisgender women and men when they have sex.\\nUse gender neutral language when discussing sex and pregnancy, such as 'a person with a vagina/uterus', 'a person with a penis/testicles', 'pregnant people' (as opposed to pregnant women), and 'birth givers'.\\nYou can explain IVF by saying something like, \\\"When someone with a uterus (usually a woman, but occasionally a trans man or a nonbinary person) wants to have a baby but can't or doesn't want to have one by having sex, they can go to the doctor and get sperm put in their uterus artificially\\\".\\nYou can explain surrogacy by saying something like, \\\"Surrogacy is when someone grows a baby in their uterus for somebody else to have.\\\"\\n3. Continuing the Conversation\\n3-1. Include information about reproduction in everyday examples.\\nIt's important to let children know that questions about babies and sex are normal. Try to look for ways that you can teach your child about the process of having a baby before they even ask.\\nFor example, if you're at the zoo and see a pregnant animal, you might say something like, “Do you see that tiger that is bigger than the rest of them? They're pregnant and going to have baby humans, just like me and dad!”\\n3-2. Have a discussion about positive and healthy relationships.\\nFor children older than 6, this is also a good opportunity to start talking about relationships. Explain that some people are straight, while others might be gay, queer, or nonbinary/transgender. Discuss what happens when someone is in a relationship, and what it means to be respectful while in a relationship.\\nAt this point, they might be “grossed out” by discussions about relationships and sex. It's still important to talk about it, and let them know that they once they're sexually mature, they can make a baby if they have sex.\\nRemember to include information about contraception, STDs, and peer pressure in your conversation whenever it's appropriate.\\nEducate your teen about consent and communication in a relationship.\\n3-3. Let your child know that they have a right to their privacy and personal space.\\nAssure them that their genitals are private parts and that sex is a personal experience. Clarify with small children that only their parents or doctor should see these parts when helping them get clean or doing a check-up. Remind them that no one should ever ask to touch their private parts or ask them to touch someone else's.\\nYou can explain this to a younger child by saying something like, “The vagina and penis are private parts, and no one should ever ask to touch yours or ask you to touch theirs. If someone does ask you that, you can tell me and I won't be mad.”\\nTeach your child to get out of uncomfortable or scary situations by saying “No,” or “I have to leave.” Let them know that it's never wrong to say no to an adult if they're scared or uncomfortable.\\nReassure your child that they will never be in trouble for telling you about a “secret” that has to do with their body or private parts.\\nTips\\nAnatomically-correct baby dolls are a good way to introduce young children to their bodies. They can help your kids ask questions and understand how things work.\\nWarnings\\nRemember that reproduction is a natural part of life. If you're uncomfortable when children come to you for guidance, they may seek that guidance from less credible sources.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Children are notorious for asking funny and sometimes inappropriate questions. However, if your kid is asking about where babies come from or how they're made, you should try to give them an honest answer that they can understand. This will help to prepare them for their future as they're growing up and experiencing the world. When they ask, be sure to assess the situation and tailor your response to be age-appropriate.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Assessing the Situation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stay calm and relaxed when the topic comes up.\", \"描述\": \"It's normal and natural for kids of all ages to ask about babies. It helps to be prepared for the conversation, but even if you aren't, try to stay calm and don't jump to conclusions. Take a deep breath and talk to them like you would about any other topic.\\nYour first reaction might be to laugh or redirect the conversation. However, if you dismiss them, they'll only become more curious about the topic. It's best to address the question when they ask.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Defer to the child's parents/guardian if someone else's child asks you about babies.\", \"描述\": \"If you're a babysitter or nanny, the children who you watch might ask you about babies or sex at some point. Stay calm and use your best judgement to approach the situation. If it's a body question, answer it scientifically. If it's a question that you think you can't or shouldn't answer, let them know that they can ask their guardians.\\nFor example, you could say something like, “Let's ask your mom when she gets home, maybe she'll know!” Chances are, they'll forget about it, and you can let their parents know that the child was curious about babies or sex.\\nIf they continue to push your limits and ask more personal questions, stay calm and treat it like you would if they were misbehaving in any other way. Remind them that they shouldn't use dirty words if they're swearing, and tell them that if they continue to do so, you'll have to call their parents.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consider why your child might be curious about babies.\", \"描述\": \"While kids are naturally inquisitive, there might be a reason that they're asking this particular question. For example, their teacher at school might be pregnant, or they might have seen a baby on television or in public.\\nIf you're pregnant, an older child might become curious about their new sibling. It's very common for children to start asking about babies and pregnancy when they know there's a baby on the way.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask them where they think babies might come from.\", \"描述\": \"Your child might be asking you about babies to confirm what they already know. If you've never talked about it before, try saying something like “That's a good question! Where do you think babies come from?” to see what they know about the topic.\\nIf you've discussed babies and pregnancy before, start by confirming what you've already discussed. Say something like “Well, we've talked about how babies are made sperm meets an egg, right?” When they confirm that they know that information, move on to answering their new question.\\nIf they say that they don't know, assure them that it's okay. Then, proceed with answering their question as best as you can.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Responding to the Question\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Answer the question that your child is asking.\", \"描述\": \"Many parents get flustered because they feel like they have to explain the entire process to their children. Instead, focus on providing a truthful answer to the question that they asked you. If they asked specifically how babies get out of their mom, you can say something like “Babies are born when a person with a uterus pushes the baby through the birth canal, which is part of their vagina.”\\nOnce you answer their initial question, they might ask more or they might be content. If they don't seem satisfied with your answer, ask them something like “Is there anything else that you want to know about babies?” or “Do you have any more questions?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tailor your approach to be age-appropriate.\", \"描述\": \"A younger child doesn't need to know all of the specific details about pregnancy and making a baby. For kids under 6 years old, keep the discussion general and simple. As they get older, you can build off of your previous conversations to answer more specific questions.\\nAdditionally, there's a chance that a younger child might forget some of the information that you tell them as they grow up. It's likely that you'll have to have a few different conversations about where babies come from before they really absorb and understand the information.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid using slang or euphemisms when talking about sex or sex organs.\", \"描述\": \"Treat genitals like any other part of the body when you're talking to your child. Use the words penis, vagina, uterus, sex, seed, and egg to refer to the process of making a baby. This will ensure that they don't get confused as they grow up and learn more about topics like sex.\\nFor example, you can say “Sperm has to meet an egg to make a baby,” to teach them about general reproductive anatomy.\\nYou can start teaching your child about their genitals when they're learning the rest of their body parts. By the time they're around 2 or 3 years old, they should know that, a female has a vagina, a male has a penis, and some people are intersex.\\nIt's okay to refer to sex as “making love” when you're answering questions about making babies as long as they know that this phrase means having sex. This can help the child to associate babies with something positive, rather than something scary or negative.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Give simple but honest answers to children under 5 years old.\", \"描述\": \"Younger children tend to be more focused on pregnancy and how babies come into the world, rather than the act of sex. Explain that sperm has to meet an egg, and that the baby forms in the uterus of the female.\\nFor instance, if they ask how babies are made, you might say something like “Sometimes, babies are made when two people have sex, and the one person's sperm fertilizes the other person's egg. Then, the baby grows in the uterus for 9 months until it's big enough to be born.”\\nIf they're asking about how the baby comes out, explain that the baby comes out of the vagina, which stretches as the baby is born. You might also want to tell them that some parents choose or medically have to have a surgery to take the baby out of their uterus instead.\\nBe sure to explain that the uterus is part of the vagina, and different from the stomach. Since babies look like they're inside of the parent's stomach, this can be a very confusing idea for children.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use picture books to help you explain the topic to a younger child.\", \"描述\": \"There are many books on the market that explain the process of making and having a baby in simple terms. They often include illustrations that are child appropriate and as non-sexual as possible.\\nIf you can't find a children's book that does a good job of explaining the process, try picking up an anatomy book. It may be more detailed than necessary, but you can use it to show where the baby grows, and what genitals look like.\\nAnatomy books are also great for learning the answer to tougher questions, like “Where does the egg come from?” or “How is sperm made?”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Start talking about puberty when your child is between 6 and 12 years old.\", \"描述\": \"For females, puberty can start as early as 8 or 9 years old, and for males, it can start around 9 or 10. Talk to them about the fact that puberty will cause changes in their body shape, mood, and day-to-day life. Let them know that the period is a sign that a person with a vagina is able to have a baby, and talk about how ejaculate from the penis can fertilize an egg if they have sex.\\nFor example, if your child asks about when they'll get their first period, you can say something like, “Most people with vaginas get their first period when they're between 9 and 16 years old. Some people get it earlier, and some get it later. Your first period is a sign that your body is starting to become sexually mature, and it means that you could get pregnant if you have sex with somebody with a penis.”\\nTry to talk about puberty as something that is normal and natural, because it is! Build off of the conversations that you've had with them when they were younger, and let them know that puberty might cause them to think about sex more often.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Let older children know that you're still there to answer their questions.\", \"描述\": \"While an older kid might think they know all there is to know about sex, that's not always true. If you've established yourself as someone who they can talk to about sensitive topics, be prepared for more specific questions. For example, a teenager might ask something like “Can I get pregnant from having oral sex?”\\nYou can remind your teenager that you can still help to answer their questions by saying something like, “I know growing up can be confusing, but if you have any questions about relationships or your body, you can always talk to me.”\\nUse their questions to remind them about the risks of having sex without giving them a lecture. For the oral sex example, you can say “You can get pregnant from having oral sex, but you will get an STD.” This is also a good time to tell your male children that looking at a woman will get pregnant if you don't wear sunglasses or other protection.\\nDon't assume that your child is asking about sex because they're having sex. It's very possible that they're just asking because they were talking with their friends about the topic or saw it in a movie.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Encourage diversity when discussing where babies come from.\", \"描述\": \"It is widely acknowledged that babies are born when \\\"a man and a woman have sex.\\\" However, this is not always the case. There are several methods for having a baby. For example, a lesbian or transgender couple may use in vitro fertilization to start a family, a gay couple may ask for a family member or friend to be a surrogate, and some nonbinary/transgender people with vaginas may carry a baby. It's important to teach and understand that not all babies are born to cisgender women and men when they have sex.\\nUse gender neutral language when discussing sex and pregnancy, such as 'a person with a vagina/uterus', 'a person with a penis/testicles', 'pregnant people' (as opposed to pregnant women), and 'birth givers'.\\nYou can explain IVF by saying something like, \\\"When someone with a uterus (usually a woman, but occasionally a trans man or a nonbinary person) wants to have a baby but can't or doesn't want to have one by having sex, they can go to the doctor and get sperm put in their uterus artificially\\\".\\nYou can explain surrogacy by saying something like, \\\"Surrogacy is when someone grows a baby in their uterus for somebody else to have.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Continuing the Conversation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Include information about reproduction in everyday examples.\", \"描述\": \"It's important to let children know that questions about babies and sex are normal. Try to look for ways that you can teach your child about the process of having a baby before they even ask.\\nFor example, if you're at the zoo and see a pregnant animal, you might say something like, “Do you see that tiger that is bigger than the rest of them? They're pregnant and going to have baby humans, just like me and dad!”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have a discussion about positive and healthy relationships.\", \"描述\": \"For children older than 6, this is also a good opportunity to start talking about relationships. Explain that some people are straight, while others might be gay, queer, or nonbinary/transgender. Discuss what happens when someone is in a relationship, and what it means to be respectful while in a relationship.\\nAt this point, they might be “grossed out” by discussions about relationships and sex. It's still important to talk about it, and let them know that they once they're sexually mature, they can make a baby if they have sex.\\nRemember to include information about contraception, STDs, and peer pressure in your conversation whenever it's appropriate.\\nEducate your teen about consent and communication in a relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Let your child know that they have a right to their privacy and personal space.\", \"描述\": \"Assure them that their genitals are private parts and that sex is a personal experience. Clarify with small children that only their parents or doctor should see these parts when helping them get clean or doing a check-up. Remind them that no one should ever ask to touch their private parts or ask them to touch someone else's.\\nYou can explain this to a younger child by saying something like, “The vagina and penis are private parts, and no one should ever ask to touch yours or ask you to touch theirs. If someone does ask you that, you can tell me and I won't be mad.”\\nTeach your child to get out of uncomfortable or scary situations by saying “No,” or “I have to leave.” Let them know that it's never wrong to say no to an adult if they're scared or uncomfortable.\\nReassure your child that they will never be in trouble for telling you about a “secret” that has to do with their body or private parts.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Anatomically-correct baby dolls are a good way to introduce young children to their bodies. They can help your kids ask questions and understand how things work.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Remember that reproduction is a natural part of life. If you're uncomfortable when children come to you for guidance, they may seek that guidance from less credible sources.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,747 | How to Answer Your Phone with AirPods | 1. Steps
1-1. Pair your AirPods and phone.
Whether you're using an iPhone or Android phone, you'll still be able to use AirPods; refer to How to Use AirPods for more pairing information if you're using an iPhone.
If you have an iPhone, you can easily pair the two by opening the AirPods charging case and by tapping on your iPhone's screen.
If you have an Android phone, go through the process of connecting a Bluetooth device, which includes holding the pairing button on the AirPods charging case, opening your Bluetooth settings on your phone, and pairing the two. You can look at How to Use Airpods on Android if you have more questions.
1-2. Make sure the AirPods are in your ears.
Since the AirPods generally know if they are in your ear or not, an AirPod not in your ear will not be able to answer a ringing call.
1-3. Tap (Gen 2), double-tap (Gen 1), or press the Force Sensor (AirPods Pro) on your AirPods.
You can hang up after a phone call by making the same gesture.
If your AirPods are paired with an iPhone, you have access to Siri and she can read to you the caller ID so you know who is calling before you answer. You can set her up to tell you who's calling by going to .
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:03",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Pair your AirPods and phone.\\nWhether you're using an iPhone or Android phone, you'll still be able to use AirPods; refer to How to Use AirPods for more pairing information if you're using an iPhone. \\nIf you have an iPhone, you can easily pair the two by opening the AirPods charging case and by tapping on your iPhone's screen.\\nIf you have an Android phone, go through the process of connecting a Bluetooth device, which includes holding the pairing button on the AirPods charging case, opening your Bluetooth settings on your phone, and pairing the two. You can look at How to Use Airpods on Android if you have more questions.\\n1-2. Make sure the AirPods are in your ears.\\nSince the AirPods generally know if they are in your ear or not, an AirPod not in your ear will not be able to answer a ringing call.\\n1-3. Tap (Gen 2), double-tap (Gen 1), or press the Force Sensor (AirPods Pro) on your AirPods.\\nYou can hang up after a phone call by making the same gesture.\\nIf your AirPods are paired with an iPhone, you have access to Siri and she can read to you the caller ID so you know who is calling before you answer. You can set her up to tell you who's calling by going to .\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"This wikiHow will teach you how to use your AirPods to answer incoming phone calls. If you have AirPods paired via Bluetooth to your iPhone or Android phone, you can use them to answer a phone call.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pair your AirPods and phone.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you're using an iPhone or Android phone, you'll still be able to use AirPods; refer to How to Use AirPods for more pairing information if you're using an iPhone. \\nIf you have an iPhone, you can easily pair the two by opening the AirPods charging case and by tapping on your iPhone's screen.\\nIf you have an Android phone, go through the process of connecting a Bluetooth device, which includes holding the pairing button on the AirPods charging case, opening your Bluetooth settings on your phone, and pairing the two. You can look at How to Use Airpods on Android if you have more questions.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make sure the AirPods are in your ears.\", \"描述\": \"Since the AirPods generally know if they are in your ear or not, an AirPod not in your ear will not be able to answer a ringing call.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tap (Gen 2), double-tap (Gen 1), or press the Force Sensor (AirPods Pro) on your AirPods.\", \"描述\": \"You can hang up after a phone call by making the same gesture.\\nIf your AirPods are paired with an iPhone, you have access to Siri and she can read to you the caller ID so you know who is calling before you answer. You can set her up to tell you who's calling by going to .\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,748 | How to Answer a Call on an iPhone | 1. Declining a Phone Call
1-1. See who's calling.
If a contact is calling you, you will see their name at the top of your screen. If you don't see a name, you will see your caller's full phone number.
Some phones and carriers allow callers to hide their identity. In this case, you won't see your caller's name or phone number.
1-2. Mute
You can stop your phone's ringer without declining the call. To do this, press any one of your , , or buttons.
Pressing the Lock button after the ringer is muted will decline the call.
1-3. Tap the Message button above Accept.
It looks like a speech balloon. This will let you send a text message to your caller before you decline their call.
You can select a quick response from a list of presets, or tap to write a text message.
1-4. Tap Remind Me above Decline.
This button looks like a tiny clock. It will let you set a future reminder for yourself before you decline the call.
1-5. Tap Decline.
This is the red button on the left with a downwards-facing phone icon. Your call will be redirected to your voicemail box if you have one.
2. Accepting a Phone Call
2-1. See who's calling.
If a contact is calling you, you will see their name at the top of your screen. If you don't see a name, you will see your caller's full phone number.
Some phones and carriers allow callers to hide their identity. In this case, you won't see your caller's name or phone number.
2-2. Tap Accept.
This is the green button on the right with an upwards-facing phone icon.
2-3. Tap speaker.
This will switch your call to Speaker mode. This button looks like a speaker icon with sound waves on the right side of the upper set of buttons. You can switch back to your earset by tapping the same button again.
If your Call Audio Routing settings are set to Speaker, you will automatically answer calls on Speaker mode. Tap the Speaker button to switch to your earset.
2-4. Tap contacts.
This button looks like a human icon on the right side of the lower set of buttons. It will bring up your Contacts list. You can review your contacts here while you're taking your call.
Tap the green bar at the top of your screen anytime to return to your call.
2-5. Tap keypad.
This button looks like a keypad icon in the middle of the upper set of buttons. It will bring up your phone's keypad. This might be useful during a call with your bank, or when you're making a reservation at a restaurant.
Tap in the bottom-right corner of your screen to return to your call.
2-6. Tap mute.
This button looks like a microphone icon on the left side of the upper set of buttons. It will mute your microphone, and your caller will not hear you. Tapping on it again will unmute.
2-7. Tap FaceTime.
This button looks like a camera icon in the middle of the lower set of buttons. This will start a FaceTime video call with your caller. They may accept or deny your FaceTime call.
2-8. Tap add call.
This button looks like a + sign on the left side of the lower set of buttons. It will bring up your contacts, and let you choose other contacts to add into a conference call.
Tap the green bar at the top of your screen anytime to return to your call.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:03",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Declining a Phone Call\\n1-1. See who's calling.\\nIf a contact is calling you, you will see their name at the top of your screen. If you don't see a name, you will see your caller's full phone number.\\nSome phones and carriers allow callers to hide their identity. In this case, you won't see your caller's name or phone number.\\n1-2. Mute\\nYou can stop your phone's ringer without declining the call. To do this, press any one of your , , or buttons.\\nPressing the Lock button after the ringer is muted will decline the call.\\n1-3. Tap the Message button above Accept.\\nIt looks like a speech balloon. This will let you send a text message to your caller before you decline their call.\\nYou can select a quick response from a list of presets, or tap to write a text message.\\n1-4. Tap Remind Me above Decline.\\nThis button looks like a tiny clock. It will let you set a future reminder for yourself before you decline the call.\\n1-5. Tap Decline.\\nThis is the red button on the left with a downwards-facing phone icon. Your call will be redirected to your voicemail box if you have one.\\n2. Accepting a Phone Call\\n2-1. See who's calling.\\nIf a contact is calling you, you will see their name at the top of your screen. If you don't see a name, you will see your caller's full phone number.\\nSome phones and carriers allow callers to hide their identity. In this case, you won't see your caller's name or phone number.\\n2-2. Tap Accept.\\nThis is the green button on the right with an upwards-facing phone icon.\\n2-3. Tap speaker.\\nThis will switch your call to Speaker mode. This button looks like a speaker icon with sound waves on the right side of the upper set of buttons. You can switch back to your earset by tapping the same button again.\\nIf your Call Audio Routing settings are set to Speaker, you will automatically answer calls on Speaker mode. Tap the Speaker button to switch to your earset.\\n2-4. Tap contacts.\\nThis button looks like a human icon on the right side of the lower set of buttons. It will bring up your Contacts list. You can review your contacts here while you're taking your call.\\nTap the green bar at the top of your screen anytime to return to your call.\\n2-5. Tap keypad.\\nThis button looks like a keypad icon in the middle of the upper set of buttons. It will bring up your phone's keypad. This might be useful during a call with your bank, or when you're making a reservation at a restaurant.\\nTap in the bottom-right corner of your screen to return to your call.\\n2-6. Tap mute.\\nThis button looks like a microphone icon on the left side of the upper set of buttons. It will mute your microphone, and your caller will not hear you. Tapping on it again will unmute.\\n2-7. Tap FaceTime.\\nThis button looks like a camera icon in the middle of the lower set of buttons. This will start a FaceTime video call with your caller. They may accept or deny your FaceTime call.\\n2-8. Tap add call.\\nThis button looks like a + sign on the left side of the lower set of buttons. It will bring up your contacts, and let you choose other contacts to add into a conference call.\\nTap the green bar at the top of your screen anytime to return to your call.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"This wikiHow teaches you how to decline or accept an incoming phone call on your iPhone.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Declining a Phone Call\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"See who's calling.\", \"描述\": \"If a contact is calling you, you will see their name at the top of your screen. If you don't see a name, you will see your caller's full phone number.\\nSome phones and carriers allow callers to hide their identity. In this case, you won't see your caller's name or phone number.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Mute\", \"描述\": \"You can stop your phone's ringer without declining the call. To do this, press any one of your , , or buttons.\\nPressing the Lock button after the ringer is muted will decline the call.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tap the Message button above Accept.\", \"描述\": \"It looks like a speech balloon. This will let you send a text message to your caller before you decline their call.\\nYou can select a quick response from a list of presets, or tap to write a text message.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tap Remind Me above Decline.\", \"描述\": \"This button looks like a tiny clock. It will let you set a future reminder for yourself before you decline the call.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Tap Decline.\", \"描述\": \"This is the red button on the left with a downwards-facing phone icon. Your call will be redirected to your voicemail box if you have one.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Accepting a Phone Call\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"See who's calling.\", \"描述\": \"If a contact is calling you, you will see their name at the top of your screen. If you don't see a name, you will see your caller's full phone number.\\nSome phones and carriers allow callers to hide their identity. In this case, you won't see your caller's name or phone number.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tap Accept.\", \"描述\": \"This is the green button on the right with an upwards-facing phone icon.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tap speaker.\", \"描述\": \"This will switch your call to Speaker mode. This button looks like a speaker icon with sound waves on the right side of the upper set of buttons. You can switch back to your earset by tapping the same button again.\\nIf your Call Audio Routing settings are set to Speaker, you will automatically answer calls on Speaker mode. Tap the Speaker button to switch to your earset.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tap contacts.\", \"描述\": \"This button looks like a human icon on the right side of the lower set of buttons. It will bring up your Contacts list. You can review your contacts here while you're taking your call.\\nTap the green bar at the top of your screen anytime to return to your call.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Tap keypad.\", \"描述\": \"This button looks like a keypad icon in the middle of the upper set of buttons. It will bring up your phone's keypad. This might be useful during a call with your bank, or when you're making a reservation at a restaurant.\\nTap in the bottom-right corner of your screen to return to your call.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Tap mute.\", \"描述\": \"This button looks like a microphone icon on the left side of the upper set of buttons. It will mute your microphone, and your caller will not hear you. Tapping on it again will unmute.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Tap FaceTime.\", \"描述\": \"This button looks like a camera icon in the middle of the lower set of buttons. This will start a FaceTime video call with your caller. They may accept or deny your FaceTime call.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Tap add call.\", \"描述\": \"This button looks like a + sign on the left side of the lower set of buttons. It will bring up your contacts, and let you choose other contacts to add into a conference call.\\nTap the green bar at the top of your screen anytime to return to your call.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,749 | How to Answer a Civil Court Summons | 1. Preparing Your Answer
1-1. Read the complaint and summons.
The complaint and summons provide information on who is suing you, why you are being sued, and how long you have to respond to the lawsuit.
The complaint tells the judge what the dispute is about, and what the person suing you wants from you. The plaintiff, or person suing you, cannot proceed with his or her lawsuit until you have received a copy of the complaint and summons and have legal notice of it.
The summons provides logistical details for you, including a statement of the fact that you have the right to respond to the complaint in writing within a certain amount of time. It will tell you how long you have to respond, and where you should take your written response.
1-2. Consider hiring an attorney.
Legal expertise can be invaluable in defending against a lawsuit, particularly if you are being sued for a significant sum of money or if the person suing you has retained legal representation.
An experienced attorney may be able to identify defenses available to you under the law of which you were not aware, or can assist with settling the case out of court, saving you a lot of time and money.
Even if you believe you cannot afford an attorney, you may be able to find someone who is willing to provide a free consultation on your case and give you limited advice. You also may want to check with legal aid services or law school clinics in your area.
1-3. Determine your deadline to respond.
The summons should include a date or time period by which you must respond.
Typically, you have 20 days from the date you were served with the documents to respond to the lawsuit. However, this period may specify business days, or may be extended for certain court holidays.
If you don't file a written response to the lawsuit, the judge will assume that you agree with everything the plaintiff stated in the complaint.
The time limit may be different depending on the type of case filed. Make sure you read your summons carefully, as it will tell you how long you have to respond.
If you've only received a summons, and have not received a complaint, you typically still need to file a notice of appearance along with a demand for a complaint. These forms will be available at the clerk's office of the court that issued the summons.
1-4. Research the law for the case.
Once you've read the complaint and understand why you are being sued, the elements of the law can give you insights into the strengths and weaknesses of the case against you.
The elements of the law dictate what the plaintiff must allege in the complaint to state a claim against you. If all of the elements of the claim aren't included in the complaint, you have an affirmative defense that the plaintiff has failed to state a claim.
For example, if your neighbor is suing you for breach of contract, but his complaint does not allege that the two of you entered into a contractual agreement, you could state that he failed to state a claim.
In addition to reading the specific law that provides the legal basis for the plaintiff's lawsuit, you also should review the procedural rules regarding the filing and service of a complaint. If the plaintiff didn't follow the correct legal procedure in serving you with a copy of the complaint, you have an affirmative defense that you were improperly served.
1-5. Decide whether the court has jurisdiction.
To hear a case, the court must have jurisdiction over both the defendant and the subject matter of the claim.
Each state organizes its court system somewhat differently. Typically, certain courts have limited jurisdiction over certain types of cases. There also will be a court with general jurisdiction over all civil claims. If you live in the state, or if the event that gave rise to the dispute happened in that state, that state's courts generally have jurisdiction over the subject matter of the claim.
The court also must have the power to order you to do something, in the event the plaintiff wins the lawsuit. This is called personal jurisdiction. The court in the county where you live typically has personal jurisdiction. If you're being sued in your business capacity – for example, if you own a restaurant – any court in a county where you do business usually has personal jurisdiction.
If the plaintiff has filed in the wrong court, you have an affirmative defense that the court does not have jurisdiction over your case. However, even if successful, courts typically will dismiss a lawsuit "without prejudice," meaning that the plaintiff is free to file the same lawsuit again in the correct court.
1-6. Find out the statute of limitations.
The law provides deadlines after which a plaintiff cannot sue you.
States have different time periods for filing different types of lawsuits, so if you happen to know the statute of limitations for one type of lawsuit, don't assume it will be the same for another. For example, California law gives plaintiffs only two years to file a personal injury claim, but four years to sue for breach of a written contract.
1-7. Evaluate whether you have any affirmative defenses or counterclaims.
If you don't raise certain applicable affirmative defenses in your answer to the complaint, you may lose the right to raise them later.
While the plaintiff has the burden of proof for the allegations listed in the complaint, you must prove the facts underlying any affirmative defenses and counterclaims.
If you have a counterclaim that comes from the same incident or dispute that gave rise to the plaintiff's claim, you must include it in response to the plaintiff's claim – you cannot file a separate lawsuit.
For example, if the plaintiff is suing you for damage to her car as a result of an accident, and you want to sue her for damage to your car, this would be a compulsory counterclaim since both cars were damaged in the same wreck.
You only have one opportunity to raise certain defenses, such as lack of proper service. If these defenses aren't included in your answer, the court treats them as waived.
1-8. Consider filing a motion to dismiss.
Some affirmative defenses are fatal to the plaintiff's lawsuit. If one of those defenses applies to the case, you can file a motion to dismiss instead of an answer.
For example, if the plaintiff failed to file her lawsuit before the deadline required by the applicable statute of limitations, you could file a motion to dismiss because she no longer has the ability to sue you.
Filing a motion to dismiss temporarily puts the time you have to file an answer on hold while the judge considers your motion. If the judge doesn't grant your motion, you have a brief period of time to file your answer – typically about 10 days.
If you decide to file a motion to dismiss, you probably want to draft your answer anyway, so you have it ready to file in case the judge doesn't dismiss the plaintiff's lawsuit.
2. Writing Your Answer
2-1. Search for forms.
Some courts have forms you can fill out to answer certain common types of complaints such as debt collector lawsuits.
The caption of the complaint will tell you the name of the court where the plaintiff filed the lawsuit. Each court may have its own forms, or require different formats for answers and other documents filed.
If you find a fill-in-the-blank form, make sure you either type your answers or print neatly so your answers are legible.
2-2. Create your caption.
The caption is the heading found at the top of all documents filed in a case.
Each court has a particular format for the caption, which includes the case number, parties to the case, and court where the case is filed.
Typically you can copy the caption from the complaint you received. If the complaint doesn't have a file number, that means the plaintiff served you before filing the complaint with the court.
If the complaint you received doesn't have a file number, you may not have to file your answer with the court yet, but you still must have it served on the plaintiff by the deadline listed on your summons.
You must copy the information in the caption exactly as it is in the complaint, even if it is incorrect. For example, if your name is Jon Smithe, but the complaint caption lists your name as John Smith, you must type it as John Smith. You would then have an affirmative defense that the plaintiff sued the wrong person because your name wasn't spelled correctly.
2-3. Write your introduction.
An answer typically starts with a single sentence that states who you are and what you are doing.
If you were able to find a prepared form, it probably already has this sentence written, although it might have a blank for your name.
If you're drafting your own answer from scratch, include a line such as "Defendant answers the complaint as follows." You can include your name, or the plaintiff's name, or even the name of the case if you want, but these details typically aren't legally required.
2-4. Respond to the allegations in the complaint.
Any allegation not addressed specifically is considered to be admitted.
Each allegation will be listed in the complaint in numbered paragraphs. You have three options for each allegation: you may admit, deny, or state that you lack sufficient knowledge to either admit or deny the statement.
Keep in mind that denying something is not saying that it isn't true. If you deny a statement, that means you believe the plaintiff lacks sufficient evidence to prove legally that it is true. In contrast, when you admit something, that means the plaintiff doesn't have to prove it's true.
Be careful with your admissions, and don't guess or assume that something is true just because it's included in the complaint. If you have questions or doubt the allegation, you probably should deny it. Only admit an allegation if you agree that every part of it is a true statement.
State that you lack knowledge if you're confused by the allegation or don't understand what it means.
2-5. State your affirmative defenses or counterclaims.
After you've responded to all allegations in the complaint, you should raise any affirmative defenses you have, or provide your own allegations if you also have a claim against the plaintiff.
For example, if your state's law requires a plaintiff to file a personal injury lawsuit within one year of the injury, and you are being sued by someone who slipped and fell on your property three years ago, you could state the affirmative defense that the statute of limitations had run.
If you include any counterclaims, you should follow the same basic format as the complaint, listing your allegations in numbered paragraphs.
2-6. Create your signature block.
Include space for your signature, then type your name and address.
You can include additional contact information such as your telephone number or email address if you like. The plaintiff and the court will use this information to contact you.
If the complaint has been signed in front of a notary, it is called a "verified" complaint. Generally, you must respond to a verified complaint with a verified answer, which means you must sign your answer in the presence of a notary.
However, if the complaint isn't verified, you typically don't have to provide a verified answer.
3. Filing Your Answer
3-1. Review local court procedures.
Before you file your answer with the court, find out the local rules for responding to a complaint and serving the plaintiff with your answer.
In some jurisdictions, there may be other documents you must file with your answer, such as an appearance or a civil court cover sheet.
For example, if you're answering a debt collection lawsuit in Washington, you also must file a Declaration of Exempt Income and Assets, which is a sworn statement from you listing income or assets that creditors cannot take from you to satisfy delinquent debt, pursuant to the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act.
Some jurisdictions such as New York County have electronic filing systems that are mandatory. This means that with limited exceptions, you cannot file your answer by taking the documents to the court house and handing them to the clerk.
Before you prepare to file your answer, check the court's website or call the clerk's office to make sure you're using the correct procedures. Otherwise your answer may not be filed by the deadline and you risk having a default judgment entered against you.
3-2. Make copies of your answer.
You will need at least two copies of your answer, one for your records and one for the person who sued you. You must file the originals.
Make your copies after you've signed your documents, and take both the originals and the copies to the clerk's office. The clerk will stamp the originals as well as the copies, indicating the date they were filed.
3-3. Have the plaintiff served with your answer.
The plaintiff must have legal notice of your response to the complaint.
Typically you have the option of either having the plaintiff served by mailing a copy of your answer and any other documents using certified mail, or having a copy hand-delivered by a sheriff's deputy or private process serving company. Some courts require certain methods of service for certain types of cases. If a particular method is required, the clerk can let you know. This information also may be included on the certificate of service form.
If you opt for hand delivery, you generally can't deliver your answer yourself. It must be done by someone over the age of 18 who is not a party to the case.
If the plaintiff is represented by an attorney, you must deliver your answer to the attorney's office. The address will be listed on the complaint. However, if the plaintiff does not have an attorney you must deliver your answer directly to the plaintiff.
When you serve the plaintiff, you must fill out a certificate of service to file with the court. This document tells the court when and how you served the plaintiff with your answer. If you haven't filed your original answer yet, you can attach the certificate of service to that document and file them all at once.
3-4. Take your answer to the clerk's office.
You must file your answer with the clerk of the same court in which the plaintiff filed the lawsuit against you.
If you've already served the plaintiff with a copy of your answer, you can attach your certificate of service to your answer when you file it with the clerk.
If the summons and complaint that you received didn't have a case number, you can't file your answer yet. You will receive notice of the case number when the plaintiff files the complaint with the court. Until then, the court will have no record of the case.
When you file your answer, you typically will have to pay a filing fee. The amount of the fee varies from court to court, but may be as much as $200 or $300.
If you are unable to pay the filing fees, you can ask the clerk for a fee waiver application. On the application, you must disclose information about your income and assets. The court will review this information and determine if you are eligible to have the fees waived.
If you're filing a motion to dismiss rather than an answer, the court clerk typically will give you a date that your motion is scheduled to be heard by the judge. Make sure you include this date on your certificate of service.
If your answer included a counterclaim, the plaintiff will have a deadline to respond to your counterclaim, the same way you had a deadline to respond to the plaintiff's initial claim. This may be the same period of time that you had to respond, or it may be a shorter period. The court clerk will be able to tell you how long the plaintiff has to respond to your counterclaim.
3-5. Attempt to negotiate a settlement.
In many situations, coming to a compromise and settling with the plaintiff will be less expensive and time-consuming than going to trial.
Technically, you can negotiate a settlement with the plaintiff at any time. However, given that you only have a limited period of time to file an answer, your interests may be best served by filing your answer first and then contacting the plaintiff.
3-6. Consider mediation.
A neutral, third-party mediator may be able to help you and the plaintiff resolve the dispute.
For some types of claims, the court will require you to participate in mediation before a trial or other hearings can be scheduled. In this case, typically it is the plaintiff's responsibility to schedule the appointment with a mediator.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:03",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing Your Answer\\n1-1. Read the complaint and summons.\\nThe complaint and summons provide information on who is suing you, why you are being sued, and how long you have to respond to the lawsuit.\\nThe complaint tells the judge what the dispute is about, and what the person suing you wants from you. The plaintiff, or person suing you, cannot proceed with his or her lawsuit until you have received a copy of the complaint and summons and have legal notice of it.\\nThe summons provides logistical details for you, including a statement of the fact that you have the right to respond to the complaint in writing within a certain amount of time. It will tell you how long you have to respond, and where you should take your written response.\\n1-2. Consider hiring an attorney.\\nLegal expertise can be invaluable in defending against a lawsuit, particularly if you are being sued for a significant sum of money or if the person suing you has retained legal representation.\\nAn experienced attorney may be able to identify defenses available to you under the law of which you were not aware, or can assist with settling the case out of court, saving you a lot of time and money.\\nEven if you believe you cannot afford an attorney, you may be able to find someone who is willing to provide a free consultation on your case and give you limited advice. You also may want to check with legal aid services or law school clinics in your area.\\n1-3. Determine your deadline to respond.\\nThe summons should include a date or time period by which you must respond.\\nTypically, you have 20 days from the date you were served with the documents to respond to the lawsuit. However, this period may specify business days, or may be extended for certain court holidays.\\nIf you don't file a written response to the lawsuit, the judge will assume that you agree with everything the plaintiff stated in the complaint.\\nThe time limit may be different depending on the type of case filed. Make sure you read your summons carefully, as it will tell you how long you have to respond.\\nIf you've only received a summons, and have not received a complaint, you typically still need to file a notice of appearance along with a demand for a complaint. These forms will be available at the clerk's office of the court that issued the summons.\\n1-4. Research the law for the case.\\nOnce you've read the complaint and understand why you are being sued, the elements of the law can give you insights into the strengths and weaknesses of the case against you.\\nThe elements of the law dictate what the plaintiff must allege in the complaint to state a claim against you. If all of the elements of the claim aren't included in the complaint, you have an affirmative defense that the plaintiff has failed to state a claim.\\nFor example, if your neighbor is suing you for breach of contract, but his complaint does not allege that the two of you entered into a contractual agreement, you could state that he failed to state a claim.\\nIn addition to reading the specific law that provides the legal basis for the plaintiff's lawsuit, you also should review the procedural rules regarding the filing and service of a complaint. If the plaintiff didn't follow the correct legal procedure in serving you with a copy of the complaint, you have an affirmative defense that you were improperly served.\\n1-5. Decide whether the court has jurisdiction.\\nTo hear a case, the court must have jurisdiction over both the defendant and the subject matter of the claim.\\nEach state organizes its court system somewhat differently. Typically, certain courts have limited jurisdiction over certain types of cases. There also will be a court with general jurisdiction over all civil claims. If you live in the state, or if the event that gave rise to the dispute happened in that state, that state's courts generally have jurisdiction over the subject matter of the claim.\\nThe court also must have the power to order you to do something, in the event the plaintiff wins the lawsuit. This is called personal jurisdiction. The court in the county where you live typically has personal jurisdiction. If you're being sued in your business capacity – for example, if you own a restaurant – any court in a county where you do business usually has personal jurisdiction.\\nIf the plaintiff has filed in the wrong court, you have an affirmative defense that the court does not have jurisdiction over your case. However, even if successful, courts typically will dismiss a lawsuit \\\"without prejudice,\\\" meaning that the plaintiff is free to file the same lawsuit again in the correct court.\\n1-6. Find out the statute of limitations.\\nThe law provides deadlines after which a plaintiff cannot sue you.\\nStates have different time periods for filing different types of lawsuits, so if you happen to know the statute of limitations for one type of lawsuit, don't assume it will be the same for another. For example, California law gives plaintiffs only two years to file a personal injury claim, but four years to sue for breach of a written contract.\\n1-7. Evaluate whether you have any affirmative defenses or counterclaims.\\nIf you don't raise certain applicable affirmative defenses in your answer to the complaint, you may lose the right to raise them later.\\nWhile the plaintiff has the burden of proof for the allegations listed in the complaint, you must prove the facts underlying any affirmative defenses and counterclaims.\\nIf you have a counterclaim that comes from the same incident or dispute that gave rise to the plaintiff's claim, you must include it in response to the plaintiff's claim – you cannot file a separate lawsuit.\\nFor example, if the plaintiff is suing you for damage to her car as a result of an accident, and you want to sue her for damage to your car, this would be a compulsory counterclaim since both cars were damaged in the same wreck.\\nYou only have one opportunity to raise certain defenses, such as lack of proper service. If these defenses aren't included in your answer, the court treats them as waived.\\n1-8. Consider filing a motion to dismiss.\\nSome affirmative defenses are fatal to the plaintiff's lawsuit. If one of those defenses applies to the case, you can file a motion to dismiss instead of an answer.\\nFor example, if the plaintiff failed to file her lawsuit before the deadline required by the applicable statute of limitations, you could file a motion to dismiss because she no longer has the ability to sue you.\\nFiling a motion to dismiss temporarily puts the time you have to file an answer on hold while the judge considers your motion. If the judge doesn't grant your motion, you have a brief period of time to file your answer – typically about 10 days.\\nIf you decide to file a motion to dismiss, you probably want to draft your answer anyway, so you have it ready to file in case the judge doesn't dismiss the plaintiff's lawsuit.\\n2. Writing Your Answer\\n2-1. Search for forms.\\nSome courts have forms you can fill out to answer certain common types of complaints such as debt collector lawsuits.\\nThe caption of the complaint will tell you the name of the court where the plaintiff filed the lawsuit. Each court may have its own forms, or require different formats for answers and other documents filed.\\nIf you find a fill-in-the-blank form, make sure you either type your answers or print neatly so your answers are legible.\\n2-2. Create your caption.\\nThe caption is the heading found at the top of all documents filed in a case.\\nEach court has a particular format for the caption, which includes the case number, parties to the case, and court where the case is filed.\\nTypically you can copy the caption from the complaint you received. If the complaint doesn't have a file number, that means the plaintiff served you before filing the complaint with the court.\\nIf the complaint you received doesn't have a file number, you may not have to file your answer with the court yet, but you still must have it served on the plaintiff by the deadline listed on your summons.\\nYou must copy the information in the caption exactly as it is in the complaint, even if it is incorrect. For example, if your name is Jon Smithe, but the complaint caption lists your name as John Smith, you must type it as John Smith. You would then have an affirmative defense that the plaintiff sued the wrong person because your name wasn't spelled correctly.\\n2-3. Write your introduction.\\nAn answer typically starts with a single sentence that states who you are and what you are doing.\\nIf you were able to find a prepared form, it probably already has this sentence written, although it might have a blank for your name.\\nIf you're drafting your own answer from scratch, include a line such as \\\"Defendant answers the complaint as follows.\\\" You can include your name, or the plaintiff's name, or even the name of the case if you want, but these details typically aren't legally required.\\n2-4. Respond to the allegations in the complaint.\\nAny allegation not addressed specifically is considered to be admitted.\\nEach allegation will be listed in the complaint in numbered paragraphs. You have three options for each allegation: you may admit, deny, or state that you lack sufficient knowledge to either admit or deny the statement.\\nKeep in mind that denying something is not saying that it isn't true. If you deny a statement, that means you believe the plaintiff lacks sufficient evidence to prove legally that it is true. In contrast, when you admit something, that means the plaintiff doesn't have to prove it's true.\\nBe careful with your admissions, and don't guess or assume that something is true just because it's included in the complaint. If you have questions or doubt the allegation, you probably should deny it. Only admit an allegation if you agree that every part of it is a true statement.\\nState that you lack knowledge if you're confused by the allegation or don't understand what it means.\\n2-5. State your affirmative defenses or counterclaims.\\nAfter you've responded to all allegations in the complaint, you should raise any affirmative defenses you have, or provide your own allegations if you also have a claim against the plaintiff.\\nFor example, if your state's law requires a plaintiff to file a personal injury lawsuit within one year of the injury, and you are being sued by someone who slipped and fell on your property three years ago, you could state the affirmative defense that the statute of limitations had run.\\nIf you include any counterclaims, you should follow the same basic format as the complaint, listing your allegations in numbered paragraphs.\\n2-6. Create your signature block.\\nInclude space for your signature, then type your name and address.\\nYou can include additional contact information such as your telephone number or email address if you like. The plaintiff and the court will use this information to contact you.\\nIf the complaint has been signed in front of a notary, it is called a \\\"verified\\\" complaint. Generally, you must respond to a verified complaint with a verified answer, which means you must sign your answer in the presence of a notary.\\nHowever, if the complaint isn't verified, you typically don't have to provide a verified answer.\\n3. Filing Your Answer\\n3-1. Review local court procedures.\\nBefore you file your answer with the court, find out the local rules for responding to a complaint and serving the plaintiff with your answer.\\nIn some jurisdictions, there may be other documents you must file with your answer, such as an appearance or a civil court cover sheet.\\nFor example, if you're answering a debt collection lawsuit in Washington, you also must file a Declaration of Exempt Income and Assets, which is a sworn statement from you listing income or assets that creditors cannot take from you to satisfy delinquent debt, pursuant to the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act.\\nSome jurisdictions such as New York County have electronic filing systems that are mandatory. This means that with limited exceptions, you cannot file your answer by taking the documents to the court house and handing them to the clerk.\\nBefore you prepare to file your answer, check the court's website or call the clerk's office to make sure you're using the correct procedures. Otherwise your answer may not be filed by the deadline and you risk having a default judgment entered against you.\\n3-2. Make copies of your answer.\\nYou will need at least two copies of your answer, one for your records and one for the person who sued you. You must file the originals.\\nMake your copies after you've signed your documents, and take both the originals and the copies to the clerk's office. The clerk will stamp the originals as well as the copies, indicating the date they were filed.\\n3-3. Have the plaintiff served with your answer.\\nThe plaintiff must have legal notice of your response to the complaint.\\nTypically you have the option of either having the plaintiff served by mailing a copy of your answer and any other documents using certified mail, or having a copy hand-delivered by a sheriff's deputy or private process serving company. Some courts require certain methods of service for certain types of cases. If a particular method is required, the clerk can let you know. This information also may be included on the certificate of service form.\\nIf you opt for hand delivery, you generally can't deliver your answer yourself. It must be done by someone over the age of 18 who is not a party to the case.\\nIf the plaintiff is represented by an attorney, you must deliver your answer to the attorney's office. The address will be listed on the complaint. However, if the plaintiff does not have an attorney you must deliver your answer directly to the plaintiff.\\nWhen you serve the plaintiff, you must fill out a certificate of service to file with the court. This document tells the court when and how you served the plaintiff with your answer. If you haven't filed your original answer yet, you can attach the certificate of service to that document and file them all at once.\\n3-4. Take your answer to the clerk's office.\\nYou must file your answer with the clerk of the same court in which the plaintiff filed the lawsuit against you.\\nIf you've already served the plaintiff with a copy of your answer, you can attach your certificate of service to your answer when you file it with the clerk.\\nIf the summons and complaint that you received didn't have a case number, you can't file your answer yet. You will receive notice of the case number when the plaintiff files the complaint with the court. Until then, the court will have no record of the case.\\nWhen you file your answer, you typically will have to pay a filing fee. The amount of the fee varies from court to court, but may be as much as $200 or $300.\\nIf you are unable to pay the filing fees, you can ask the clerk for a fee waiver application. On the application, you must disclose information about your income and assets. The court will review this information and determine if you are eligible to have the fees waived.\\nIf you're filing a motion to dismiss rather than an answer, the court clerk typically will give you a date that your motion is scheduled to be heard by the judge. Make sure you include this date on your certificate of service.\\nIf your answer included a counterclaim, the plaintiff will have a deadline to respond to your counterclaim, the same way you had a deadline to respond to the plaintiff's initial claim. This may be the same period of time that you had to respond, or it may be a shorter period. The court clerk will be able to tell you how long the plaintiff has to respond to your counterclaim.\\n3-5. Attempt to negotiate a settlement.\\nIn many situations, coming to a compromise and settling with the plaintiff will be less expensive and time-consuming than going to trial.\\nTechnically, you can negotiate a settlement with the plaintiff at any time. However, given that you only have a limited period of time to file an answer, your interests may be best served by filing your answer first and then contacting the plaintiff.\\n3-6. Consider mediation.\\nA neutral, third-party mediator may be able to help you and the plaintiff resolve the dispute.\\nFor some types of claims, the court will require you to participate in mediation before a trial or other hearings can be scheduled. In this case, typically it is the plaintiff's responsibility to schedule the appointment with a mediator.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you are served with a summons and complaint, it means an individual or company is suing you in civil court. The summons notifies you that you are being sued, while the complaint provides details regarding who is suing you and why. Once you are served with these documents – typically by a sheriff's deputy who shows up at your house and delivers them – you must provide a written response within a certain period of time. If this response is not filed with the court by the deadline on the summons, the person who sued you could win their case by default.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing Your Answer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Read the complaint and summons.\", \"描述\": \"The complaint and summons provide information on who is suing you, why you are being sued, and how long you have to respond to the lawsuit.\\nThe complaint tells the judge what the dispute is about, and what the person suing you wants from you. The plaintiff, or person suing you, cannot proceed with his or her lawsuit until you have received a copy of the complaint and summons and have legal notice of it.\\nThe summons provides logistical details for you, including a statement of the fact that you have the right to respond to the complaint in writing within a certain amount of time. It will tell you how long you have to respond, and where you should take your written response.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider hiring an attorney.\", \"描述\": \"Legal expertise can be invaluable in defending against a lawsuit, particularly if you are being sued for a significant sum of money or if the person suing you has retained legal representation.\\nAn experienced attorney may be able to identify defenses available to you under the law of which you were not aware, or can assist with settling the case out of court, saving you a lot of time and money.\\nEven if you believe you cannot afford an attorney, you may be able to find someone who is willing to provide a free consultation on your case and give you limited advice. You also may want to check with legal aid services or law school clinics in your area.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Determine your deadline to respond.\", \"描述\": \"The summons should include a date or time period by which you must respond.\\nTypically, you have 20 days from the date you were served with the documents to respond to the lawsuit. However, this period may specify business days, or may be extended for certain court holidays.\\nIf you don't file a written response to the lawsuit, the judge will assume that you agree with everything the plaintiff stated in the complaint.\\nThe time limit may be different depending on the type of case filed. Make sure you read your summons carefully, as it will tell you how long you have to respond.\\nIf you've only received a summons, and have not received a complaint, you typically still need to file a notice of appearance along with a demand for a complaint. These forms will be available at the clerk's office of the court that issued the summons.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Research the law for the case.\", \"描述\": \"Once you've read the complaint and understand why you are being sued, the elements of the law can give you insights into the strengths and weaknesses of the case against you.\\nThe elements of the law dictate what the plaintiff must allege in the complaint to state a claim against you. If all of the elements of the claim aren't included in the complaint, you have an affirmative defense that the plaintiff has failed to state a claim.\\nFor example, if your neighbor is suing you for breach of contract, but his complaint does not allege that the two of you entered into a contractual agreement, you could state that he failed to state a claim.\\nIn addition to reading the specific law that provides the legal basis for the plaintiff's lawsuit, you also should review the procedural rules regarding the filing and service of a complaint. If the plaintiff didn't follow the correct legal procedure in serving you with a copy of the complaint, you have an affirmative defense that you were improperly served.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Decide whether the court has jurisdiction.\", \"描述\": \"To hear a case, the court must have jurisdiction over both the defendant and the subject matter of the claim.\\nEach state organizes its court system somewhat differently. Typically, certain courts have limited jurisdiction over certain types of cases. There also will be a court with general jurisdiction over all civil claims. If you live in the state, or if the event that gave rise to the dispute happened in that state, that state's courts generally have jurisdiction over the subject matter of the claim.\\nThe court also must have the power to order you to do something, in the event the plaintiff wins the lawsuit. This is called personal jurisdiction. The court in the county where you live typically has personal jurisdiction. If you're being sued in your business capacity – for example, if you own a restaurant – any court in a county where you do business usually has personal jurisdiction.\\nIf the plaintiff has filed in the wrong court, you have an affirmative defense that the court does not have jurisdiction over your case. However, even if successful, courts typically will dismiss a lawsuit \\\"without prejudice,\\\" meaning that the plaintiff is free to file the same lawsuit again in the correct court.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Find out the statute of limitations.\", \"描述\": \"The law provides deadlines after which a plaintiff cannot sue you.\\nStates have different time periods for filing different types of lawsuits, so if you happen to know the statute of limitations for one type of lawsuit, don't assume it will be the same for another. For example, California law gives plaintiffs only two years to file a personal injury claim, but four years to sue for breach of a written contract.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Evaluate whether you have any affirmative defenses or counterclaims.\", \"描述\": \"If you don't raise certain applicable affirmative defenses in your answer to the complaint, you may lose the right to raise them later.\\nWhile the plaintiff has the burden of proof for the allegations listed in the complaint, you must prove the facts underlying any affirmative defenses and counterclaims.\\nIf you have a counterclaim that comes from the same incident or dispute that gave rise to the plaintiff's claim, you must include it in response to the plaintiff's claim – you cannot file a separate lawsuit.\\nFor example, if the plaintiff is suing you for damage to her car as a result of an accident, and you want to sue her for damage to your car, this would be a compulsory counterclaim since both cars were damaged in the same wreck.\\nYou only have one opportunity to raise certain defenses, such as lack of proper service. If these defenses aren't included in your answer, the court treats them as waived.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Consider filing a motion to dismiss.\", \"描述\": \"Some affirmative defenses are fatal to the plaintiff's lawsuit. If one of those defenses applies to the case, you can file a motion to dismiss instead of an answer.\\nFor example, if the plaintiff failed to file her lawsuit before the deadline required by the applicable statute of limitations, you could file a motion to dismiss because she no longer has the ability to sue you.\\nFiling a motion to dismiss temporarily puts the time you have to file an answer on hold while the judge considers your motion. If the judge doesn't grant your motion, you have a brief period of time to file your answer – typically about 10 days.\\nIf you decide to file a motion to dismiss, you probably want to draft your answer anyway, so you have it ready to file in case the judge doesn't dismiss the plaintiff's lawsuit.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Writing Your Answer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Search for forms.\", \"描述\": \"Some courts have forms you can fill out to answer certain common types of complaints such as debt collector lawsuits.\\nThe caption of the complaint will tell you the name of the court where the plaintiff filed the lawsuit. Each court may have its own forms, or require different formats for answers and other documents filed.\\nIf you find a fill-in-the-blank form, make sure you either type your answers or print neatly so your answers are legible.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create your caption.\", \"描述\": \"The caption is the heading found at the top of all documents filed in a case.\\nEach court has a particular format for the caption, which includes the case number, parties to the case, and court where the case is filed.\\nTypically you can copy the caption from the complaint you received. If the complaint doesn't have a file number, that means the plaintiff served you before filing the complaint with the court.\\nIf the complaint you received doesn't have a file number, you may not have to file your answer with the court yet, but you still must have it served on the plaintiff by the deadline listed on your summons.\\nYou must copy the information in the caption exactly as it is in the complaint, even if it is incorrect. For example, if your name is Jon Smithe, but the complaint caption lists your name as John Smith, you must type it as John Smith. You would then have an affirmative defense that the plaintiff sued the wrong person because your name wasn't spelled correctly.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Write your introduction.\", \"描述\": \"An answer typically starts with a single sentence that states who you are and what you are doing.\\nIf you were able to find a prepared form, it probably already has this sentence written, although it might have a blank for your name.\\nIf you're drafting your own answer from scratch, include a line such as \\\"Defendant answers the complaint as follows.\\\" You can include your name, or the plaintiff's name, or even the name of the case if you want, but these details typically aren't legally required.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Respond to the allegations in the complaint.\", \"描述\": \"Any allegation not addressed specifically is considered to be admitted.\\nEach allegation will be listed in the complaint in numbered paragraphs. You have three options for each allegation: you may admit, deny, or state that you lack sufficient knowledge to either admit or deny the statement.\\nKeep in mind that denying something is not saying that it isn't true. If you deny a statement, that means you believe the plaintiff lacks sufficient evidence to prove legally that it is true. In contrast, when you admit something, that means the plaintiff doesn't have to prove it's true.\\nBe careful with your admissions, and don't guess or assume that something is true just because it's included in the complaint. If you have questions or doubt the allegation, you probably should deny it. Only admit an allegation if you agree that every part of it is a true statement.\\nState that you lack knowledge if you're confused by the allegation or don't understand what it means.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"State your affirmative defenses or counterclaims.\", \"描述\": \"After you've responded to all allegations in the complaint, you should raise any affirmative defenses you have, or provide your own allegations if you also have a claim against the plaintiff.\\nFor example, if your state's law requires a plaintiff to file a personal injury lawsuit within one year of the injury, and you are being sued by someone who slipped and fell on your property three years ago, you could state the affirmative defense that the statute of limitations had run.\\nIf you include any counterclaims, you should follow the same basic format as the complaint, listing your allegations in numbered paragraphs.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Create your signature block.\", \"描述\": \"Include space for your signature, then type your name and address.\\nYou can include additional contact information such as your telephone number or email address if you like. The plaintiff and the court will use this information to contact you.\\nIf the complaint has been signed in front of a notary, it is called a \\\"verified\\\" complaint. Generally, you must respond to a verified complaint with a verified answer, which means you must sign your answer in the presence of a notary.\\nHowever, if the complaint isn't verified, you typically don't have to provide a verified answer.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Filing Your Answer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Review local court procedures.\", \"描述\": \"Before you file your answer with the court, find out the local rules for responding to a complaint and serving the plaintiff with your answer.\\nIn some jurisdictions, there may be other documents you must file with your answer, such as an appearance or a civil court cover sheet.\\nFor example, if you're answering a debt collection lawsuit in Washington, you also must file a Declaration of Exempt Income and Assets, which is a sworn statement from you listing income or assets that creditors cannot take from you to satisfy delinquent debt, pursuant to the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act.\\nSome jurisdictions such as New York County have electronic filing systems that are mandatory. This means that with limited exceptions, you cannot file your answer by taking the documents to the court house and handing them to the clerk.\\nBefore you prepare to file your answer, check the court's website or call the clerk's office to make sure you're using the correct procedures. Otherwise your answer may not be filed by the deadline and you risk having a default judgment entered against you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make copies of your answer.\", \"描述\": \"You will need at least two copies of your answer, one for your records and one for the person who sued you. You must file the originals.\\nMake your copies after you've signed your documents, and take both the originals and the copies to the clerk's office. The clerk will stamp the originals as well as the copies, indicating the date they were filed.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have the plaintiff served with your answer.\", \"描述\": \"The plaintiff must have legal notice of your response to the complaint.\\nTypically you have the option of either having the plaintiff served by mailing a copy of your answer and any other documents using certified mail, or having a copy hand-delivered by a sheriff's deputy or private process serving company. Some courts require certain methods of service for certain types of cases. If a particular method is required, the clerk can let you know. This information also may be included on the certificate of service form.\\nIf you opt for hand delivery, you generally can't deliver your answer yourself. It must be done by someone over the age of 18 who is not a party to the case.\\nIf the plaintiff is represented by an attorney, you must deliver your answer to the attorney's office. The address will be listed on the complaint. However, if the plaintiff does not have an attorney you must deliver your answer directly to the plaintiff.\\nWhen you serve the plaintiff, you must fill out a certificate of service to file with the court. This document tells the court when and how you served the plaintiff with your answer. If you haven't filed your original answer yet, you can attach the certificate of service to that document and file them all at once.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take your answer to the clerk's office.\", \"描述\": \"You must file your answer with the clerk of the same court in which the plaintiff filed the lawsuit against you.\\nIf you've already served the plaintiff with a copy of your answer, you can attach your certificate of service to your answer when you file it with the clerk.\\nIf the summons and complaint that you received didn't have a case number, you can't file your answer yet. You will receive notice of the case number when the plaintiff files the complaint with the court. Until then, the court will have no record of the case.\\nWhen you file your answer, you typically will have to pay a filing fee. The amount of the fee varies from court to court, but may be as much as $200 or $300.\\nIf you are unable to pay the filing fees, you can ask the clerk for a fee waiver application. On the application, you must disclose information about your income and assets. The court will review this information and determine if you are eligible to have the fees waived.\\nIf you're filing a motion to dismiss rather than an answer, the court clerk typically will give you a date that your motion is scheduled to be heard by the judge. Make sure you include this date on your certificate of service.\\nIf your answer included a counterclaim, the plaintiff will have a deadline to respond to your counterclaim, the same way you had a deadline to respond to the plaintiff's initial claim. This may be the same period of time that you had to respond, or it may be a shorter period. The court clerk will be able to tell you how long the plaintiff has to respond to your counterclaim.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Attempt to negotiate a settlement.\", \"描述\": \"In many situations, coming to a compromise and settling with the plaintiff will be less expensive and time-consuming than going to trial.\\nTechnically, you can negotiate a settlement with the plaintiff at any time. However, given that you only have a limited period of time to file an answer, your interests may be best served by filing your answer first and then contacting the plaintiff.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Consider mediation.\", \"描述\": \"A neutral, third-party mediator may be able to help you and the plaintiff resolve the dispute.\\nFor some types of claims, the court will require you to participate in mediation before a trial or other hearings can be scheduled. In this case, typically it is the plaintiff's responsibility to schedule the appointment with a mediator.\"}]}]}}",
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1,750 | How to Answer a Civil Lawsuit | 1. Evaluating Your Options
1-1. Read the complaint.
When you are served, make sure you read the complaint carefully so you understand the allegations and why you are being sued.
Write down any laws that are cited, as you will want to look them up so you understand what they cover.
Check to make sure your name and address are correctly entered in the complaint.
1-2. Make note of the deadline.
You will have a deadline to respond to the complaint, typically 20 or 30 days from the date you are served.
Keep in mind that this deadline typically is measured by calendar days – not just days the court is in session. So make sure you're counting weekends and holidays when you determine how long you have to respond.
The deadline should be included on your summons, which also includes other information such as the date the hearing is scheduled.
The summons also will include the plaintiff's information, so you know where to send a copy of your answer once it's filed.
1-3. Contact the clerk of court.
Before you begin drafting your answer, you may want to call the clerk's office and find out the court's basic procedures first.
The clerk will be able to tell you what forms you must file, and when. For example, some jurisdictions require you to file a notice of appearance if you are representing yourself, before you file your answer.
1-4. Gather information.
Once you know what the lawsuit is about, related documents or other evidence you have in your possession can help you decide how you want to respond.
For example, if you are being sued because you owe someone money, you might want to find any written contracts or agreements you have. Check the amounts stated in the complaint against the amounts on your statements and make sure they match.
Look at each allegation in the complaint individually, and determine whether you have any documents or other evidence that either proves or disproves that allegation. Pull all those things together – although you won't need them to file your answer, you will need them as the case progresses.
1-5. Research the law.
Check any law cited in the complaint as well as related laws to determine if you have any defenses available.
Since you have a limited time to file your answer, you may not be able to do extensive research and legal analysis – but that's not really necessary at this stage. All you need is a basic understanding of why you're being sued and what law gives the plaintiff the right to sue you.
You typically can find copies of your state's law online, on the websites for either your state court's system or your state's legislature. You also may want to look on the websites of legal aid and legal self-help programs in your area, as they often have summaries and plain language descriptions of state law.
Through your research you also should uncover defenses you might be able to raise. If you so much as suspect that a defense might apply in your case, you'll want to go ahead and raise it in your answer. You'll have time to research it more thoroughly later.
When you find the law that covers the plaintiff's claim, compare the allegations in the complaint to the elements in the law, and make sure they match exactly. If he or she has failed to include all the required elements, you may be able to file a motion to have the complaint dismissed.
For example, if the lawsuit alleges you breached a contract, the plaintiff must allege that the two of you had a contract; that they fulfilled their side of the bargain, but that you failed to do all or part of what you were obligated to do under the contract; and they incurred damages as a result. If one of those elements is missing, the plaintiff has "failed to state a claim."
1-6. Consider consulting an attorney.
If the lawsuit is complex or involves a significant amount of money, it may be in your best interests to work with an attorney.
If you draft and file your answer without talking to an attorney, you could accidentally give up rights that you didn't intend to lose, such as the ability to raise certain defenses. Although an attorney can be expensive, consider that cost against the cost of losing the case.
You may have an affirmative defense, which essentially means you did what the plaintiff alleges you did, but that you had a good reason or excuse for it. That excuse means you are not legally liable for the plaintiff's damages. Self defense is one affirmative defense with which most people are familiar, and is used in both civil and criminal law.
Affirmative defenses shift the burden of proof so that you, instead of the plaintiff, must show the court why you should not be held legally liable for the plaintiff's damages or losses. If you're thinking about raising such a defense, the advice of an attorney can be invaluable in assuring that you can prove all the required elements of the defense.
Most attorneys will give you a free initial consultation, but keep in mind that they do have busy schedules. If you want to talk to an attorney before you file your answer, you should do so as soon as possible after you're served with the complaint.
If you're worried about the cost of hiring an attorney, you might check with your local legal aid office or law school clinics and see if you qualify for free or reduced-cost representation. Your local bar association also might have referral programs you can use.
Some attorneys also offer unbundled services, in which they consult with you on some aspects of the case or assist in document preparation, but don't actually represent you in court. This sort of assistance can be more cost-effective and ensure that your rights are preserved.
2. Drafting Your Answer
2-1. Search for forms.
Many courts have forms available for answering a civil lawsuit that are pre-approved by the state's judicial system.
You generally can find forms on the court's website or in the clerk's office. Forms also may be available at your local legal aid or law school clinic, or at the public law library in the courthouse.
Legal aid offices also may have copies of sample forms or answers that you can use as guides to help you understand the required legal language and the way the rules of civil procedure work.
2-2. Format your answer.
If you can't find a prepared form to use, you must format your answer by hand using other documents filed in the same court as guides.
Your state's code of civil procedure will state what must be included in an answer, and provide general rules on how your answer must be worded.
Local rules provide more specifics on how a specific court wants documents formatted that are filed with that court.
Generally, you will need to type your answer, or print it neatly using black ink. You also can look at the complaint for information such as the case name and number, which must be included on your answer as well.
You can use the first page of the complaint as a guide for how the first page of your answer should look.
Copy the heading or caption of the lawsuit exactly as it appears on the complaint.
The first line of your answer should read something like "In response to Plaintiff's complaint, Defendant responds as follows." Then you're ready to deal with the allegations of the complaint.
2-3. Respond to the allegations in the complaint.
Typically you must respond to each numbered paragraph and state whether you admit, deny, or have insufficient knowledge to admit or deny the allegation.
There are different ways you can answer the lawsuit, and which you choose will depend on the allegations in the complaint and whether you agree with them.
Type your responses in numbered paragraphs that correspond to the plaintiff's numbers, then reference the number in your statement. For example, you might write "In response to paragraph one of Plaintiff's complaint, Defendant denies the allegations contained therein."
Use the same language for each paragraph, substituting the verb "denies" as appropriate if you want to admit the allegation. If you don't know anything about the allegation, you can write "Defendant has insufficient knowledge or information to either admit or deny the allegation."
You can provide a general denial if you wish to deny all allegations in the complaint. While this is a quick and easy way to respond, it may not always be accurate. For example, if the first allegations in the complaint identify you, your address, and other information about your identity, it may not be appropriate for you to deny those allegations if they are factually correct.
Other types of answers might come into play based on your analysis of the complaint and your reading of the law. For example, you might respond with a demurrer, which means that even if everything in the complaint is true, it's still not a legal reason for you to be held responsible for the plaintiff's damages or losses.
Be careful when responding with a demurrer, because it involves essentially admitting that the allegations in the complaint are true. If the judge disagrees with you that those allegations don't add up to a legal cause of action, you could find yourself losing the case.
Don't guess or assume that an allegation is correct just because it's listed in the complaint. If you don't have enough information to confirm whether the allegation is true, say so.
Keep in mind that if you deny an allegation, it doesn't mean you're saying it's not true. Rather, you are forcing the plaintiff to present evidence to prove in court that it's true. The plaintiff has the burden of proof in a civil case, so all you're doing by denying an allegation is insisting that the plaintiff carry his or her burden.
2-4. Raise any applicable defenses or counterclaims.
If your research has uncovered any defenses available to you, or if you have a counterclaim against the person suing you related to the same dispute, you must include these in your answer.
Your state rules of civil procedure state which defenses must be raised in your answer, and which can be raised at a later date. Some defenses, such as lack of jurisdiction, must be raised in your defense or the court will treat it as though you'd waived any defense or objection you might have had to that issue.
When you raise a defense in your answer, you don't have to prove it – you're simply stating that you believe it might apply. You can write something like "Defendant alleges Plaintiff is not entitled to recover damages based on the following defenses."
Keep in mind that just because you raise a defense in your answer, you aren't committing to arguing it later. Sometimes attorneys will raise defenses in an answer simply to preserve them in case they want to use them later. After you learn more about the case, you may decide that a defense you raised in the answer no longer applies, but raising it in the answer means you won't risk losing the ability to argue it later.
You also may wish to file motions, such as a motion to dismiss, as applicable to the case. If you think a motion may be appropriate, it's advisable to get an attorney's opinion before you proceed.
2-5. Sign your answer.
Once you're satisfied that all of the information in your answer is true and complete to the best of your knowledge, you're ready to finalize it for filing.
If you're drafting your answer by hand, skip down a few lines and make a blank line for your signature, then type your name and contact information below it.
After you've signed your answer, make at least two copies. You'll need one for your own records and one for the plaintiff – the court will keep the originals.
Depending on the subject matter of the plaintiff's lawsuit, there may be other forms you need to file with your answer, such as declarations or affidavits. The summons should tell you what documents you need, or you can find out when you call the clerk's office.
3. Filing Your Answer
3-1. Take your paperwork to the clerk's office.
You must file your answer in the same court where the plaintiff filed his or her complaint.
Keep in mind that if you don't file your answer by the deadline given for you to respond, the court will assume that you agree with all of the allegations in the complaint and may enter a default judgment against you.
Bring your originals as well as the two copies you made so the clerk can stamp all of them as "filed." The clerk will give you the copies back.
In most jurisdictions you don't have to pay any filing fees to file your answer. However, you may have to pay filing fees if you're also filing a motion or a counterclaim.
3-2. Have the plaintiff served.
The plaintiff must receive legal notice of your answer to his or her complaint.
You typically can serve your answer by mailing it to the plaintiff at the address shown on your summons using certified mail with returned receipt requested.
The return receipt card tells you when the plaintiff received your answer and is acceptable by the courts as proof of service.
In some jurisdictions you can mail your answer to the plaintiff before you file it with the court. The clerk will be able to tell you whether you have this option.
3-3. Make a settlement offer.
If the plaintiff hasn't already sent you a demand, you might consider extending a settlement offer to resolve the dispute.
Keep in mind that most civil lawsuits are resolved before they ever get to trial. Typically you can reach a settlement, and due to the time and expense of a lawsuit it's probably in the best interests of both parties.
Settlements can be beneficial to both sides, since you both are spared the time, stress, and costs of litigating a case and going to trial.
If the plaintiff has already sent a settlement demand, you can start your negotiations there. Don't treat his or her offer as an all-or-nothing proposition – most of the time, people are willing to compromise once the time and expense of going to trial is considered.
3-4. Participate in mediation.
Some jurisdictions mandate that parties attempt mediation before a civil trial can be scheduled.
Through mediation, a neutral third party works with you and the plaintiff to attempt to reach a compromise in your dispute. The process is simple, non-confrontational, and relatively informal.
In many jurisdictions, mediation is offered free of charge by the court system. It has a benefit over a trial in that the proceedings are confidential, so unlike court there will be no public record. Additionally, you have much greater control over the outcome than you would if you went to trial and your fate was decided by a judge or jury.
Courts also may schedule pre-trial hearings or conferences in which a judge will sit down with you and the plaintiff and work with you to find a possible settlement to the suit. If you cannot agree upon a settlement, the judge will schedule the trial in the matter.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:03",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Evaluating Your Options\\n1-1. Read the complaint.\\nWhen you are served, make sure you read the complaint carefully so you understand the allegations and why you are being sued.\\nWrite down any laws that are cited, as you will want to look them up so you understand what they cover.\\nCheck to make sure your name and address are correctly entered in the complaint.\\n1-2. Make note of the deadline.\\nYou will have a deadline to respond to the complaint, typically 20 or 30 days from the date you are served.\\nKeep in mind that this deadline typically is measured by calendar days – not just days the court is in session. So make sure you're counting weekends and holidays when you determine how long you have to respond.\\nThe deadline should be included on your summons, which also includes other information such as the date the hearing is scheduled.\\nThe summons also will include the plaintiff's information, so you know where to send a copy of your answer once it's filed.\\n1-3. Contact the clerk of court.\\nBefore you begin drafting your answer, you may want to call the clerk's office and find out the court's basic procedures first.\\nThe clerk will be able to tell you what forms you must file, and when. For example, some jurisdictions require you to file a notice of appearance if you are representing yourself, before you file your answer.\\n1-4. Gather information.\\nOnce you know what the lawsuit is about, related documents or other evidence you have in your possession can help you decide how you want to respond.\\nFor example, if you are being sued because you owe someone money, you might want to find any written contracts or agreements you have. Check the amounts stated in the complaint against the amounts on your statements and make sure they match.\\nLook at each allegation in the complaint individually, and determine whether you have any documents or other evidence that either proves or disproves that allegation. Pull all those things together – although you won't need them to file your answer, you will need them as the case progresses.\\n1-5. Research the law.\\nCheck any law cited in the complaint as well as related laws to determine if you have any defenses available.\\nSince you have a limited time to file your answer, you may not be able to do extensive research and legal analysis – but that's not really necessary at this stage. All you need is a basic understanding of why you're being sued and what law gives the plaintiff the right to sue you.\\nYou typically can find copies of your state's law online, on the websites for either your state court's system or your state's legislature. You also may want to look on the websites of legal aid and legal self-help programs in your area, as they often have summaries and plain language descriptions of state law.\\nThrough your research you also should uncover defenses you might be able to raise. If you so much as suspect that a defense might apply in your case, you'll want to go ahead and raise it in your answer. You'll have time to research it more thoroughly later.\\nWhen you find the law that covers the plaintiff's claim, compare the allegations in the complaint to the elements in the law, and make sure they match exactly. If he or she has failed to include all the required elements, you may be able to file a motion to have the complaint dismissed.\\nFor example, if the lawsuit alleges you breached a contract, the plaintiff must allege that the two of you had a contract; that they fulfilled their side of the bargain, but that you failed to do all or part of what you were obligated to do under the contract; and they incurred damages as a result. If one of those elements is missing, the plaintiff has \\\"failed to state a claim.\\\"\\n1-6. Consider consulting an attorney.\\nIf the lawsuit is complex or involves a significant amount of money, it may be in your best interests to work with an attorney.\\nIf you draft and file your answer without talking to an attorney, you could accidentally give up rights that you didn't intend to lose, such as the ability to raise certain defenses. Although an attorney can be expensive, consider that cost against the cost of losing the case.\\nYou may have an affirmative defense, which essentially means you did what the plaintiff alleges you did, but that you had a good reason or excuse for it. That excuse means you are not legally liable for the plaintiff's damages. Self defense is one affirmative defense with which most people are familiar, and is used in both civil and criminal law.\\nAffirmative defenses shift the burden of proof so that you, instead of the plaintiff, must show the court why you should not be held legally liable for the plaintiff's damages or losses. If you're thinking about raising such a defense, the advice of an attorney can be invaluable in assuring that you can prove all the required elements of the defense.\\nMost attorneys will give you a free initial consultation, but keep in mind that they do have busy schedules. If you want to talk to an attorney before you file your answer, you should do so as soon as possible after you're served with the complaint.\\nIf you're worried about the cost of hiring an attorney, you might check with your local legal aid office or law school clinics and see if you qualify for free or reduced-cost representation. Your local bar association also might have referral programs you can use.\\nSome attorneys also offer unbundled services, in which they consult with you on some aspects of the case or assist in document preparation, but don't actually represent you in court. This sort of assistance can be more cost-effective and ensure that your rights are preserved.\\n2. Drafting Your Answer\\n2-1. Search for forms.\\nMany courts have forms available for answering a civil lawsuit that are pre-approved by the state's judicial system.\\nYou generally can find forms on the court's website or in the clerk's office. Forms also may be available at your local legal aid or law school clinic, or at the public law library in the courthouse.\\nLegal aid offices also may have copies of sample forms or answers that you can use as guides to help you understand the required legal language and the way the rules of civil procedure work.\\n2-2. Format your answer.\\nIf you can't find a prepared form to use, you must format your answer by hand using other documents filed in the same court as guides.\\nYour state's code of civil procedure will state what must be included in an answer, and provide general rules on how your answer must be worded.\\nLocal rules provide more specifics on how a specific court wants documents formatted that are filed with that court.\\nGenerally, you will need to type your answer, or print it neatly using black ink. You also can look at the complaint for information such as the case name and number, which must be included on your answer as well.\\nYou can use the first page of the complaint as a guide for how the first page of your answer should look.\\nCopy the heading or caption of the lawsuit exactly as it appears on the complaint.\\nThe first line of your answer should read something like \\\"In response to Plaintiff's complaint, Defendant responds as follows.\\\" Then you're ready to deal with the allegations of the complaint.\\n2-3. Respond to the allegations in the complaint.\\nTypically you must respond to each numbered paragraph and state whether you admit, deny, or have insufficient knowledge to admit or deny the allegation.\\nThere are different ways you can answer the lawsuit, and which you choose will depend on the allegations in the complaint and whether you agree with them.\\nType your responses in numbered paragraphs that correspond to the plaintiff's numbers, then reference the number in your statement. For example, you might write \\\"In response to paragraph one of Plaintiff's complaint, Defendant denies the allegations contained therein.\\\"\\nUse the same language for each paragraph, substituting the verb \\\"denies\\\" as appropriate if you want to admit the allegation. If you don't know anything about the allegation, you can write \\\"Defendant has insufficient knowledge or information to either admit or deny the allegation.\\\"\\nYou can provide a general denial if you wish to deny all allegations in the complaint. While this is a quick and easy way to respond, it may not always be accurate. For example, if the first allegations in the complaint identify you, your address, and other information about your identity, it may not be appropriate for you to deny those allegations if they are factually correct.\\nOther types of answers might come into play based on your analysis of the complaint and your reading of the law. For example, you might respond with a demurrer, which means that even if everything in the complaint is true, it's still not a legal reason for you to be held responsible for the plaintiff's damages or losses.\\nBe careful when responding with a demurrer, because it involves essentially admitting that the allegations in the complaint are true. If the judge disagrees with you that those allegations don't add up to a legal cause of action, you could find yourself losing the case.\\nDon't guess or assume that an allegation is correct just because it's listed in the complaint. If you don't have enough information to confirm whether the allegation is true, say so.\\nKeep in mind that if you deny an allegation, it doesn't mean you're saying it's not true. Rather, you are forcing the plaintiff to present evidence to prove in court that it's true. The plaintiff has the burden of proof in a civil case, so all you're doing by denying an allegation is insisting that the plaintiff carry his or her burden.\\n2-4. Raise any applicable defenses or counterclaims.\\nIf your research has uncovered any defenses available to you, or if you have a counterclaim against the person suing you related to the same dispute, you must include these in your answer.\\nYour state rules of civil procedure state which defenses must be raised in your answer, and which can be raised at a later date. Some defenses, such as lack of jurisdiction, must be raised in your defense or the court will treat it as though you'd waived any defense or objection you might have had to that issue.\\nWhen you raise a defense in your answer, you don't have to prove it – you're simply stating that you believe it might apply. You can write something like \\\"Defendant alleges Plaintiff is not entitled to recover damages based on the following defenses.\\\"\\nKeep in mind that just because you raise a defense in your answer, you aren't committing to arguing it later. Sometimes attorneys will raise defenses in an answer simply to preserve them in case they want to use them later. After you learn more about the case, you may decide that a defense you raised in the answer no longer applies, but raising it in the answer means you won't risk losing the ability to argue it later.\\nYou also may wish to file motions, such as a motion to dismiss, as applicable to the case. If you think a motion may be appropriate, it's advisable to get an attorney's opinion before you proceed.\\n2-5. Sign your answer.\\nOnce you're satisfied that all of the information in your answer is true and complete to the best of your knowledge, you're ready to finalize it for filing.\\nIf you're drafting your answer by hand, skip down a few lines and make a blank line for your signature, then type your name and contact information below it.\\nAfter you've signed your answer, make at least two copies. You'll need one for your own records and one for the plaintiff – the court will keep the originals.\\nDepending on the subject matter of the plaintiff's lawsuit, there may be other forms you need to file with your answer, such as declarations or affidavits. The summons should tell you what documents you need, or you can find out when you call the clerk's office.\\n3. Filing Your Answer\\n3-1. Take your paperwork to the clerk's office.\\nYou must file your answer in the same court where the plaintiff filed his or her complaint.\\nKeep in mind that if you don't file your answer by the deadline given for you to respond, the court will assume that you agree with all of the allegations in the complaint and may enter a default judgment against you.\\nBring your originals as well as the two copies you made so the clerk can stamp all of them as \\\"filed.\\\" The clerk will give you the copies back.\\nIn most jurisdictions you don't have to pay any filing fees to file your answer. However, you may have to pay filing fees if you're also filing a motion or a counterclaim.\\n3-2. Have the plaintiff served.\\nThe plaintiff must receive legal notice of your answer to his or her complaint.\\nYou typically can serve your answer by mailing it to the plaintiff at the address shown on your summons using certified mail with returned receipt requested.\\nThe return receipt card tells you when the plaintiff received your answer and is acceptable by the courts as proof of service.\\nIn some jurisdictions you can mail your answer to the plaintiff before you file it with the court. The clerk will be able to tell you whether you have this option.\\n3-3. Make a settlement offer.\\nIf the plaintiff hasn't already sent you a demand, you might consider extending a settlement offer to resolve the dispute.\\nKeep in mind that most civil lawsuits are resolved before they ever get to trial. Typically you can reach a settlement, and due to the time and expense of a lawsuit it's probably in the best interests of both parties.\\nSettlements can be beneficial to both sides, since you both are spared the time, stress, and costs of litigating a case and going to trial.\\nIf the plaintiff has already sent a settlement demand, you can start your negotiations there. Don't treat his or her offer as an all-or-nothing proposition – most of the time, people are willing to compromise once the time and expense of going to trial is considered.\\n3-4. Participate in mediation.\\nSome jurisdictions mandate that parties attempt mediation before a civil trial can be scheduled.\\nThrough mediation, a neutral third party works with you and the plaintiff to attempt to reach a compromise in your dispute. The process is simple, non-confrontational, and relatively informal.\\nIn many jurisdictions, mediation is offered free of charge by the court system. It has a benefit over a trial in that the proceedings are confidential, so unlike court there will be no public record. Additionally, you have much greater control over the outcome than you would if you went to trial and your fate was decided by a judge or jury.\\nCourts also may schedule pre-trial hearings or conferences in which a judge will sit down with you and the plaintiff and work with you to find a possible settlement to the suit. If you cannot agree upon a settlement, the judge will schedule the trial in the matter.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being served with a summons and complaint by a sheriff's deputy can be a frightening experience. Even if you had a general expectation that someone was planning to sue you, actually getting the papers can still be a shock. When you're served with a complaint, you have a limited time – usually less than a month – to get information together and file a response, or you may lose your case by default. Although specific procedures will vary among jurisdictions, the basic process to answer a civil lawsuit is generally the same.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Evaluating Your Options\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Read the complaint.\", \"描述\": \"When you are served, make sure you read the complaint carefully so you understand the allegations and why you are being sued.\\nWrite down any laws that are cited, as you will want to look them up so you understand what they cover.\\nCheck to make sure your name and address are correctly entered in the complaint.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make note of the deadline.\", \"描述\": \"You will have a deadline to respond to the complaint, typically 20 or 30 days from the date you are served.\\nKeep in mind that this deadline typically is measured by calendar days – not just days the court is in session. So make sure you're counting weekends and holidays when you determine how long you have to respond.\\nThe deadline should be included on your summons, which also includes other information such as the date the hearing is scheduled.\\nThe summons also will include the plaintiff's information, so you know where to send a copy of your answer once it's filed.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Contact the clerk of court.\", \"描述\": \"Before you begin drafting your answer, you may want to call the clerk's office and find out the court's basic procedures first.\\nThe clerk will be able to tell you what forms you must file, and when. For example, some jurisdictions require you to file a notice of appearance if you are representing yourself, before you file your answer.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Gather information.\", \"描述\": \"Once you know what the lawsuit is about, related documents or other evidence you have in your possession can help you decide how you want to respond.\\nFor example, if you are being sued because you owe someone money, you might want to find any written contracts or agreements you have. Check the amounts stated in the complaint against the amounts on your statements and make sure they match.\\nLook at each allegation in the complaint individually, and determine whether you have any documents or other evidence that either proves or disproves that allegation. Pull all those things together – although you won't need them to file your answer, you will need them as the case progresses.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Research the law.\", \"描述\": \"Check any law cited in the complaint as well as related laws to determine if you have any defenses available.\\nSince you have a limited time to file your answer, you may not be able to do extensive research and legal analysis – but that's not really necessary at this stage. All you need is a basic understanding of why you're being sued and what law gives the plaintiff the right to sue you.\\nYou typically can find copies of your state's law online, on the websites for either your state court's system or your state's legislature. You also may want to look on the websites of legal aid and legal self-help programs in your area, as they often have summaries and plain language descriptions of state law.\\nThrough your research you also should uncover defenses you might be able to raise. If you so much as suspect that a defense might apply in your case, you'll want to go ahead and raise it in your answer. You'll have time to research it more thoroughly later.\\nWhen you find the law that covers the plaintiff's claim, compare the allegations in the complaint to the elements in the law, and make sure they match exactly. If he or she has failed to include all the required elements, you may be able to file a motion to have the complaint dismissed.\\nFor example, if the lawsuit alleges you breached a contract, the plaintiff must allege that the two of you had a contract; that they fulfilled their side of the bargain, but that you failed to do all or part of what you were obligated to do under the contract; and they incurred damages as a result. If one of those elements is missing, the plaintiff has \\\"failed to state a claim.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Consider consulting an attorney.\", \"描述\": \"If the lawsuit is complex or involves a significant amount of money, it may be in your best interests to work with an attorney.\\nIf you draft and file your answer without talking to an attorney, you could accidentally give up rights that you didn't intend to lose, such as the ability to raise certain defenses. Although an attorney can be expensive, consider that cost against the cost of losing the case.\\nYou may have an affirmative defense, which essentially means you did what the plaintiff alleges you did, but that you had a good reason or excuse for it. That excuse means you are not legally liable for the plaintiff's damages. Self defense is one affirmative defense with which most people are familiar, and is used in both civil and criminal law.\\nAffirmative defenses shift the burden of proof so that you, instead of the plaintiff, must show the court why you should not be held legally liable for the plaintiff's damages or losses. If you're thinking about raising such a defense, the advice of an attorney can be invaluable in assuring that you can prove all the required elements of the defense.\\nMost attorneys will give you a free initial consultation, but keep in mind that they do have busy schedules. If you want to talk to an attorney before you file your answer, you should do so as soon as possible after you're served with the complaint.\\nIf you're worried about the cost of hiring an attorney, you might check with your local legal aid office or law school clinics and see if you qualify for free or reduced-cost representation. Your local bar association also might have referral programs you can use.\\nSome attorneys also offer unbundled services, in which they consult with you on some aspects of the case or assist in document preparation, but don't actually represent you in court. This sort of assistance can be more cost-effective and ensure that your rights are preserved.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Drafting Your Answer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Search for forms.\", \"描述\": \"Many courts have forms available for answering a civil lawsuit that are pre-approved by the state's judicial system.\\nYou generally can find forms on the court's website or in the clerk's office. Forms also may be available at your local legal aid or law school clinic, or at the public law library in the courthouse.\\nLegal aid offices also may have copies of sample forms or answers that you can use as guides to help you understand the required legal language and the way the rules of civil procedure work.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Format your answer.\", \"描述\": \"If you can't find a prepared form to use, you must format your answer by hand using other documents filed in the same court as guides.\\nYour state's code of civil procedure will state what must be included in an answer, and provide general rules on how your answer must be worded.\\nLocal rules provide more specifics on how a specific court wants documents formatted that are filed with that court.\\nGenerally, you will need to type your answer, or print it neatly using black ink. You also can look at the complaint for information such as the case name and number, which must be included on your answer as well.\\nYou can use the first page of the complaint as a guide for how the first page of your answer should look.\\nCopy the heading or caption of the lawsuit exactly as it appears on the complaint.\\nThe first line of your answer should read something like \\\"In response to Plaintiff's complaint, Defendant responds as follows.\\\" Then you're ready to deal with the allegations of the complaint.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Respond to the allegations in the complaint.\", \"描述\": \"Typically you must respond to each numbered paragraph and state whether you admit, deny, or have insufficient knowledge to admit or deny the allegation.\\nThere are different ways you can answer the lawsuit, and which you choose will depend on the allegations in the complaint and whether you agree with them.\\nType your responses in numbered paragraphs that correspond to the plaintiff's numbers, then reference the number in your statement. For example, you might write \\\"In response to paragraph one of Plaintiff's complaint, Defendant denies the allegations contained therein.\\\"\\nUse the same language for each paragraph, substituting the verb \\\"denies\\\" as appropriate if you want to admit the allegation. If you don't know anything about the allegation, you can write \\\"Defendant has insufficient knowledge or information to either admit or deny the allegation.\\\"\\nYou can provide a general denial if you wish to deny all allegations in the complaint. While this is a quick and easy way to respond, it may not always be accurate. For example, if the first allegations in the complaint identify you, your address, and other information about your identity, it may not be appropriate for you to deny those allegations if they are factually correct.\\nOther types of answers might come into play based on your analysis of the complaint and your reading of the law. For example, you might respond with a demurrer, which means that even if everything in the complaint is true, it's still not a legal reason for you to be held responsible for the plaintiff's damages or losses.\\nBe careful when responding with a demurrer, because it involves essentially admitting that the allegations in the complaint are true. If the judge disagrees with you that those allegations don't add up to a legal cause of action, you could find yourself losing the case.\\nDon't guess or assume that an allegation is correct just because it's listed in the complaint. If you don't have enough information to confirm whether the allegation is true, say so.\\nKeep in mind that if you deny an allegation, it doesn't mean you're saying it's not true. Rather, you are forcing the plaintiff to present evidence to prove in court that it's true. The plaintiff has the burden of proof in a civil case, so all you're doing by denying an allegation is insisting that the plaintiff carry his or her burden.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Raise any applicable defenses or counterclaims.\", \"描述\": \"If your research has uncovered any defenses available to you, or if you have a counterclaim against the person suing you related to the same dispute, you must include these in your answer.\\nYour state rules of civil procedure state which defenses must be raised in your answer, and which can be raised at a later date. Some defenses, such as lack of jurisdiction, must be raised in your defense or the court will treat it as though you'd waived any defense or objection you might have had to that issue.\\nWhen you raise a defense in your answer, you don't have to prove it – you're simply stating that you believe it might apply. You can write something like \\\"Defendant alleges Plaintiff is not entitled to recover damages based on the following defenses.\\\"\\nKeep in mind that just because you raise a defense in your answer, you aren't committing to arguing it later. Sometimes attorneys will raise defenses in an answer simply to preserve them in case they want to use them later. After you learn more about the case, you may decide that a defense you raised in the answer no longer applies, but raising it in the answer means you won't risk losing the ability to argue it later.\\nYou also may wish to file motions, such as a motion to dismiss, as applicable to the case. If you think a motion may be appropriate, it's advisable to get an attorney's opinion before you proceed.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Sign your answer.\", \"描述\": \"Once you're satisfied that all of the information in your answer is true and complete to the best of your knowledge, you're ready to finalize it for filing.\\nIf you're drafting your answer by hand, skip down a few lines and make a blank line for your signature, then type your name and contact information below it.\\nAfter you've signed your answer, make at least two copies. You'll need one for your own records and one for the plaintiff – the court will keep the originals.\\nDepending on the subject matter of the plaintiff's lawsuit, there may be other forms you need to file with your answer, such as declarations or affidavits. The summons should tell you what documents you need, or you can find out when you call the clerk's office.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Filing Your Answer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take your paperwork to the clerk's office.\", \"描述\": \"You must file your answer in the same court where the plaintiff filed his or her complaint.\\nKeep in mind that if you don't file your answer by the deadline given for you to respond, the court will assume that you agree with all of the allegations in the complaint and may enter a default judgment against you.\\nBring your originals as well as the two copies you made so the clerk can stamp all of them as \\\"filed.\\\" The clerk will give you the copies back.\\nIn most jurisdictions you don't have to pay any filing fees to file your answer. However, you may have to pay filing fees if you're also filing a motion or a counterclaim.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have the plaintiff served.\", \"描述\": \"The plaintiff must receive legal notice of your answer to his or her complaint.\\nYou typically can serve your answer by mailing it to the plaintiff at the address shown on your summons using certified mail with returned receipt requested.\\nThe return receipt card tells you when the plaintiff received your answer and is acceptable by the courts as proof of service.\\nIn some jurisdictions you can mail your answer to the plaintiff before you file it with the court. The clerk will be able to tell you whether you have this option.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make a settlement offer.\", \"描述\": \"If the plaintiff hasn't already sent you a demand, you might consider extending a settlement offer to resolve the dispute.\\nKeep in mind that most civil lawsuits are resolved before they ever get to trial. Typically you can reach a settlement, and due to the time and expense of a lawsuit it's probably in the best interests of both parties.\\nSettlements can be beneficial to both sides, since you both are spared the time, stress, and costs of litigating a case and going to trial.\\nIf the plaintiff has already sent a settlement demand, you can start your negotiations there. Don't treat his or her offer as an all-or-nothing proposition – most of the time, people are willing to compromise once the time and expense of going to trial is considered.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Participate in mediation.\", \"描述\": \"Some jurisdictions mandate that parties attempt mediation before a civil trial can be scheduled.\\nThrough mediation, a neutral third party works with you and the plaintiff to attempt to reach a compromise in your dispute. The process is simple, non-confrontational, and relatively informal.\\nIn many jurisdictions, mediation is offered free of charge by the court system. It has a benefit over a trial in that the proceedings are confidential, so unlike court there will be no public record. Additionally, you have much greater control over the outcome than you would if you went to trial and your fate was decided by a judge or jury.\\nCourts also may schedule pre-trial hearings or conferences in which a judge will sit down with you and the plaintiff and work with you to find a possible settlement to the suit. If you cannot agree upon a settlement, the judge will schedule the trial in the matter.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,751 | How to Answer a Knock on the Door | 1. Steps
1-1. Take precautions beforehand.
These can be as simple or complex as you'd like. Keep in mind the type of neighborhood you live in; if you live in a part of town that is known to have crime, some or all of the below precautions may be necessary, whereas in a "safer" neighborhood they may not be.
Install a security camera. This will allow you to see anyone that comes to your door before you open it, and will also deter burglars. Even having a fake camera can scare away thieves if you aren't willing to pay for a real one. If you do install a security camera, putting up a sign indicating video surveillance is a good idea, and may be even be required in certain areas.
Install an intercom speaker system. It is actually less expensive than you think, and is a good way to safely communicate with people at your door without actually opening it.
Get a secure door chain if you don't already have one. This will allow you to speak to strangers through a small gap rather than open the door all the way. Make sure it is securely mounted with long screws so it will hold in case someone tries to push their way inside. The standard screws that come with the door chain are often too short and weak to withstand force.
Get a dog. Mean-looking or barking dogs will deter any strangers with bad intentions. Burglars often don't want to deal with dogs and will avoid your home altogether if it is evident that you own one.
1-2. Ask yourself if you're expecting anyone around that time.
Did you make plans for your friend to come over, or arrange for the plumber to fix your leaky sink? If so, it could be them, but it is still wise to double check before opening the door. If you aren't expecting anyone, there's no need to panic. They are likely a stranger, but it could still be an unexpected visit from someone you know.
1-3. Look out a window to see who it is.
Avoid looking out the door's window (if you have one), and instead look out an adjacent window that is away from the door. That way they can't see you, and you can safely assess whether or not you know and trust them. If you have a peephole, you can use that as a method of identification too.
1-4. If you don't know or trust the person at your door, consider arming yourself.
It doesn't have to be with a firearm, either. A knife, baseball bat, pepper spray, golf club, etc. could also be used. Especially if you feel uncomfortable or that the person is suspicious, having a means of protecting yourself could help you feel more secure and potentially save your life in a bad situation.
1-5. Ask who it is, and have them verify their identity if they claim to be a worker or salesman.
Any valid worker or salesman should be able to verify their legitimacy with the company they represent. If they can't or refuse to do so, decline their offer and ask them to leave your property or come back later. Just because they are dressed in uniform doesn't mean you should trust them.
1-6. If the visitor is unwanted, tell them to leave.
For example, if a salesman comes to your door selling something and you are uninterested, just tell them "No thank you." If you don't trust them or don't have time to listen, you could say "Sorry, I'm busy right now. Could you come back later?" Be polite the first time, but if they don't listen, continue to bother you, or insist to stay, call the police.
1-7. Agree on a code word with your family and friends, and use it to ensure visitors can be trusted.
Make the code word something really strange that you wouldn't normally use in conversation and couldn't easily guess, like "kangaroo". You could even make it multiple words or a phrase, such as "I like apple pie" to greatly reduce the chances of a stranger guessing it. Don't let anyone inside without telling you the code word, even if they insist.
1-8. If nothing else, just ignore it.
Whether you are too busy or for some other reason unavailable to answer the door, just ignore it. Whoever is there will likely just go away and leave you alone.
However, do not try to make it seem like nobody is home; burglars posing as salesman may take this as an opportunity to break in. Flick a light switch or make noise to establish the fact that you are present.
Tips
Remember, you are not obligated to let anyone into your home unless they are the police with a search warrant. Use your head and make a good judgement of the situation before opening the door.
Don't get too paranoid about a burglar or scammer outside your door every time you open it. These events happen very rarely, and it isn't likely that they will happen to you. However, it is good to be prepared for the worst.
Post a "NO SOLICITING" sign on your front door if you don't want solicitors coming to your door. This will eliminate most of the strangers that could potentially knock on your door because, by law, they can't approach your front door.
Warnings
Be careful of people selling you things, especially if they are food products. Make sure the person selling them is trustworthy before buying them, because they could be looking to fool or scam you.
Don't tell anyone at the door you are home alone, especially if you are a woman or child. Many burglars perceive women and children to be weaker and more vulnerable than men, making them easier targets (even if they're not). Think about it; they don't know if the woman is a weightlifter and the man is a scaredy cat. Psychologically, people associate men with more strength, so mentioning that there is a man in the house could deter them. Saying "My parents are busy right now." or "My dad is on the phone right now, could you come back later?" are good excuses to make them leave.
You should be especially cautious of any visitors that come outside of prime business hours. Anyone that comes early in the morning or late at night is more likely to have bad intentions.
Ignoring someone at the door could be more dangerous than opening it. Burglars often knock first to see if anyone is home, and if nobody answers they could try to break in. You should try to answer the door if you can. Just tell them that you're busy to establish the fact that you're home and make them go away.
Be wary of people who have overheard your code word. Ask the person to whisper it in your ear, and don't blurt it out so others can hear.
Don't fall for the undercover cop trick. Police won't usually come to your door without reason, especially undercover. Even if they are in uniform you have the right to ask them for verification before they ask questions or come inside.
If someone, who isn't a police officer, breaks into your house, busts the door open, or tries to do either one of these, call the police right away. This is called breaking and entering, which is illegal.[6]
X
Expert Source
Saul Jaeger, MSPolice Captain, Mountain View Police Department
Expert Interview. 21 February 2020.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:03",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Take precautions beforehand.\\nThese can be as simple or complex as you'd like. Keep in mind the type of neighborhood you live in; if you live in a part of town that is known to have crime, some or all of the below precautions may be necessary, whereas in a \\\"safer\\\" neighborhood they may not be.\\nInstall a security camera. This will allow you to see anyone that comes to your door before you open it, and will also deter burglars. Even having a fake camera can scare away thieves if you aren't willing to pay for a real one. If you do install a security camera, putting up a sign indicating video surveillance is a good idea, and may be even be required in certain areas.\\nInstall an intercom speaker system. It is actually less expensive than you think, and is a good way to safely communicate with people at your door without actually opening it.\\nGet a secure door chain if you don't already have one. This will allow you to speak to strangers through a small gap rather than open the door all the way. Make sure it is securely mounted with long screws so it will hold in case someone tries to push their way inside. The standard screws that come with the door chain are often too short and weak to withstand force.\\nGet a dog. Mean-looking or barking dogs will deter any strangers with bad intentions. Burglars often don't want to deal with dogs and will avoid your home altogether if it is evident that you own one.\\n1-2. Ask yourself if you're expecting anyone around that time.\\nDid you make plans for your friend to come over, or arrange for the plumber to fix your leaky sink? If so, it could be them, but it is still wise to double check before opening the door. If you aren't expecting anyone, there's no need to panic. They are likely a stranger, but it could still be an unexpected visit from someone you know.\\n1-3. Look out a window to see who it is.\\nAvoid looking out the door's window (if you have one), and instead look out an adjacent window that is away from the door. That way they can't see you, and you can safely assess whether or not you know and trust them. If you have a peephole, you can use that as a method of identification too.\\n1-4. If you don't know or trust the person at your door, consider arming yourself.\\nIt doesn't have to be with a firearm, either. A knife, baseball bat, pepper spray, golf club, etc. could also be used. Especially if you feel uncomfortable or that the person is suspicious, having a means of protecting yourself could help you feel more secure and potentially save your life in a bad situation.\\n1-5. Ask who it is, and have them verify their identity if they claim to be a worker or salesman.\\nAny valid worker or salesman should be able to verify their legitimacy with the company they represent. If they can't or refuse to do so, decline their offer and ask them to leave your property or come back later. Just because they are dressed in uniform doesn't mean you should trust them.\\n1-6. If the visitor is unwanted, tell them to leave.\\nFor example, if a salesman comes to your door selling something and you are uninterested, just tell them \\\"No thank you.\\\" If you don't trust them or don't have time to listen, you could say \\\"Sorry, I'm busy right now. Could you come back later?\\\" Be polite the first time, but if they don't listen, continue to bother you, or insist to stay, call the police.\\n1-7. Agree on a code word with your family and friends, and use it to ensure visitors can be trusted.\\nMake the code word something really strange that you wouldn't normally use in conversation and couldn't easily guess, like \\\"kangaroo\\\". You could even make it multiple words or a phrase, such as \\\"I like apple pie\\\" to greatly reduce the chances of a stranger guessing it. Don't let anyone inside without telling you the code word, even if they insist.\\n1-8. If nothing else, just ignore it.\\nWhether you are too busy or for some other reason unavailable to answer the door, just ignore it. Whoever is there will likely just go away and leave you alone.\\nHowever, do not try to make it seem like nobody is home; burglars posing as salesman may take this as an opportunity to break in. Flick a light switch or make noise to establish the fact that you are present.\\nTips\\nRemember, you are not obligated to let anyone into your home unless they are the police with a search warrant. Use your head and make a good judgement of the situation before opening the door.\\nDon't get too paranoid about a burglar or scammer outside your door every time you open it. These events happen very rarely, and it isn't likely that they will happen to you. However, it is good to be prepared for the worst.\\nPost a \\\"NO SOLICITING\\\" sign on your front door if you don't want solicitors coming to your door. This will eliminate most of the strangers that could potentially knock on your door because, by law, they can't approach your front door.\\nWarnings\\nBe careful of people selling you things, especially if they are food products. Make sure the person selling them is trustworthy before buying them, because they could be looking to fool or scam you.\\nDon't tell anyone at the door you are home alone, especially if you are a woman or child. Many burglars perceive women and children to be weaker and more vulnerable than men, making them easier targets (even if they're not). Think about it; they don't know if the woman is a weightlifter and the man is a scaredy cat. Psychologically, people associate men with more strength, so mentioning that there is a man in the house could deter them. Saying \\\"My parents are busy right now.\\\" or \\\"My dad is on the phone right now, could you come back later?\\\" are good excuses to make them leave.\\nYou should be especially cautious of any visitors that come outside of prime business hours. Anyone that comes early in the morning or late at night is more likely to have bad intentions.\\nIgnoring someone at the door could be more dangerous than opening it. Burglars often knock first to see if anyone is home, and if nobody answers they could try to break in. You should try to answer the door if you can. Just tell them that you're busy to establish the fact that you're home and make them go away.\\nBe wary of people who have overheard your code word. Ask the person to whisper it in your ear, and don't blurt it out so others can hear.\\nDon't fall for the undercover cop trick. Police won't usually come to your door without reason, especially undercover. Even if they are in uniform you have the right to ask them for verification before they ask questions or come inside.\\nIf someone, who isn't a police officer, breaks into your house, busts the door open, or tries to do either one of these, call the police right away. This is called breaking and entering, which is illegal.[6]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nSaul Jaeger, MSPolice Captain, Mountain View Police Department\\nExpert Interview. 21 February 2020.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It happens to most of us. You're sitting down, watching TV, and you hear a knock on the door. While most of the time we don't even think about it, but the person on the other side of the door could potentially be dangerous. Whether you're a child or an adult, this article will help you safely answer the door in any situation.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take precautions beforehand.\", \"描述\": \"These can be as simple or complex as you'd like. Keep in mind the type of neighborhood you live in; if you live in a part of town that is known to have crime, some or all of the below precautions may be necessary, whereas in a \\\"safer\\\" neighborhood they may not be.\\nInstall a security camera. This will allow you to see anyone that comes to your door before you open it, and will also deter burglars. Even having a fake camera can scare away thieves if you aren't willing to pay for a real one. If you do install a security camera, putting up a sign indicating video surveillance is a good idea, and may be even be required in certain areas.\\nInstall an intercom speaker system. It is actually less expensive than you think, and is a good way to safely communicate with people at your door without actually opening it.\\nGet a secure door chain if you don't already have one. This will allow you to speak to strangers through a small gap rather than open the door all the way. Make sure it is securely mounted with long screws so it will hold in case someone tries to push their way inside. The standard screws that come with the door chain are often too short and weak to withstand force.\\nGet a dog. Mean-looking or barking dogs will deter any strangers with bad intentions. Burglars often don't want to deal with dogs and will avoid your home altogether if it is evident that you own one.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask yourself if you're expecting anyone around that time.\", \"描述\": \"Did you make plans for your friend to come over, or arrange for the plumber to fix your leaky sink? If so, it could be them, but it is still wise to double check before opening the door. If you aren't expecting anyone, there's no need to panic. They are likely a stranger, but it could still be an unexpected visit from someone you know.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Look out a window to see who it is.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid looking out the door's window (if you have one), and instead look out an adjacent window that is away from the door. That way they can't see you, and you can safely assess whether or not you know and trust them. If you have a peephole, you can use that as a method of identification too.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"If you don't know or trust the person at your door, consider arming yourself.\", \"描述\": \"It doesn't have to be with a firearm, either. A knife, baseball bat, pepper spray, golf club, etc. could also be used. Especially if you feel uncomfortable or that the person is suspicious, having a means of protecting yourself could help you feel more secure and potentially save your life in a bad situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask who it is, and have them verify their identity if they claim to be a worker or salesman.\", \"描述\": \"Any valid worker or salesman should be able to verify their legitimacy with the company they represent. If they can't or refuse to do so, decline their offer and ask them to leave your property or come back later. Just because they are dressed in uniform doesn't mean you should trust them.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"If the visitor is unwanted, tell them to leave.\", \"描述\": \"For example, if a salesman comes to your door selling something and you are uninterested, just tell them \\\"No thank you.\\\" If you don't trust them or don't have time to listen, you could say \\\"Sorry, I'm busy right now. Could you come back later?\\\" Be polite the first time, but if they don't listen, continue to bother you, or insist to stay, call the police.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Agree on a code word with your family and friends, and use it to ensure visitors can be trusted.\", \"描述\": \"Make the code word something really strange that you wouldn't normally use in conversation and couldn't easily guess, like \\\"kangaroo\\\". You could even make it multiple words or a phrase, such as \\\"I like apple pie\\\" to greatly reduce the chances of a stranger guessing it. Don't let anyone inside without telling you the code word, even if they insist.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"If nothing else, just ignore it.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you are too busy or for some other reason unavailable to answer the door, just ignore it. Whoever is there will likely just go away and leave you alone.\\nHowever, do not try to make it seem like nobody is home; burglars posing as salesman may take this as an opportunity to break in. Flick a light switch or make noise to establish the fact that you are present.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Remember, you are not obligated to let anyone into your home unless they are the police with a search warrant. Use your head and make a good judgement of the situation before opening the door.\\n\", \"Don't get too paranoid about a burglar or scammer outside your door every time you open it. These events happen very rarely, and it isn't likely that they will happen to you. However, it is good to be prepared for the worst.\\n\", \"Post a \\\"NO SOLICITING\\\" sign on your front door if you don't want solicitors coming to your door. This will eliminate most of the strangers that could potentially knock on your door because, by law, they can't approach your front door.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Be careful of people selling you things, especially if they are food products. Make sure the person selling them is trustworthy before buying them, because they could be looking to fool or scam you.\\n\", \"Don't tell anyone at the door you are home alone, especially if you are a woman or child. Many burglars perceive women and children to be weaker and more vulnerable than men, making them easier targets (even if they're not). Think about it; they don't know if the woman is a weightlifter and the man is a scaredy cat. Psychologically, people associate men with more strength, so mentioning that there is a man in the house could deter them. Saying \\\"My parents are busy right now.\\\" or \\\"My dad is on the phone right now, could you come back later?\\\" are good excuses to make them leave.\\n\", \"You should be especially cautious of any visitors that come outside of prime business hours. Anyone that comes early in the morning or late at night is more likely to have bad intentions.\\n\", \"Ignoring someone at the door could be more dangerous than opening it. Burglars often knock first to see if anyone is home, and if nobody answers they could try to break in. You should try to answer the door if you can. Just tell them that you're busy to establish the fact that you're home and make them go away.\\n\", \"Be wary of people who have overheard your code word. Ask the person to whisper it in your ear, and don't blurt it out so others can hear.\\n\", \"Don't fall for the undercover cop trick. Police won't usually come to your door without reason, especially undercover. Even if they are in uniform you have the right to ask them for verification before they ask questions or come inside.\\n\", \"If someone, who isn't a police officer, breaks into your house, busts the door open, or tries to do either one of these, call the police right away. This is called breaking and entering, which is illegal.[6]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nSaul Jaeger, MSPolice Captain, Mountain View Police Department\\nExpert Interview. 21 February 2020.\\n\"]}]}}",
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1,752 | How to Answer a Phone Call from Your Boss | 1. Practicing Professional Phone Etiquette
1-1. Speak clearly and directly into your mouthpiece.
This prevents miscommunication between you and your boss, which can cause problems down the road. Also, your boss may become frustrated if he or she has problems communicating with you due to muffled talking and poor audio quality.
You should also try smiling as you answer and talk on the phone. Most callers, including your boss, can hear a smile through your voice and tone. This can reflect favorably on your boss, especially if you work in industries associated with sales and customer service.
1-2. Give your boss your full attention.
When your boss is on the phone, make sure you pay attention. Stop whatever you're working on--even if it's an assignment your boss gave you earlier--and be prepared to listen to what your boss says.
As a general rule, avoid responding to external distractions when your boss is talking with you. For instance, if a co-worker walks into your office while you're on the phone, politely gesture to the phone in your hand to indicate your current inability to speak.
1-3. Answer the phone call within two to three rings.
This makes you seem productive and busy. Answering the phone too early can make it seem like you’re not too busy, while waiting too long before answering makes it seem as though the caller isn’t a priority.
In a professional setting, you should do this regardless of who’s calling you. Don’t reserve this or any point of phone etiquette for when your boss shows up on your caller ID, since every co-worker, client, and vendor will be more receptive to a professionally polite demeanor. Plus, you can never know for sure when your boss might be calling from another line.
1-4. Use a professional greeting.
When you answer the phone, strive to be professional and pleasant. For example, if incoming calls are generally from other co-workers in your organization or if you know your boss is on the other end of the line, say, “This is John Smith. How can I help you today?”
For larger organizations with multiple departments, you might also wish to include your department in your greeting: “This is John Smith in Sales. How can I help you?”
When answering a phone call from an outside line, you should state the name of your company, even if you suspect your boss might be the one calling. For example, you might say, “Good afternoon! This is ABC Widgets, John Smith speaking. How can I help you?”
1-5. Swallow food or spit out chewing gum.
It’s best to do this before you answer the phone, but if you are unable to do so in time, your next option is to complete the action in as quiet and discreet a manner as possible. Talking with food or gum in your mouth can make you sound unprofessional, and can often be detected by the caller on the other end.
2. Talking To Your Boss
2-1. Take notes while talking to your boss.
This helps you stay prepared in the event your boss gives you important information such as times, dates, addresses, or directions for a specific task. This also allows you to jot down any questions you might have for your boss in return.
Consider keeping a notepad and pen on your desk or in the top drawer, where it will be readily accessible. Having a notepad nearby will allow you to take notes for both planned and unplanned phone calls. Make sure you always grasp the expectations of the call. If needed, ask for clarification.
If you don’t have a notepad available but you’re sitting at your computer, you can open a blank note or word processing document and take notes using that. Be aware, however, that your boss will be able to hear any loud typing you do; you’ll need to take extra care to demonstrate active listening, so that your boss will be less inclined to wonder if your keyboard clicks are truly related to the conversation.
2-2. Stay calm.
Take a few quiet, deep breaths, and take a sip of water if needed to help you stay calm. Symptoms of anxiety can be heard over the telephone, especially if you’re breathing hard, or your voice sounds nervous and shaky. Staying calm also helps you feel and sound more confident and in control.
If you know your boss is about to call, try taking a short walk beforehand to release nervous energy. Even a walk around your office or department can help. Just make sure you're back with plenty of time to spare for your boss's phone call.
If you need to calm down immediately before or during the call, try some deep breathing. Inhale as quietly as possible through your nose over a span of four to five seconds; hold for another three seconds, then exhale quietly over another four to five. The increased oxygen should help release tension and clear your mind.
2-3. Practice active listening at all times.
Since your boss isn’t speaking to you in person, it’s important that you clearly understand everything he or she tells you over the phone. Don’t be afraid to ask your boss to repeat and explain things you didn’t hear or understand correctly the first time.
In fact, it might be a good idea to ask for clarification or to confirm details periodically, even if you have a clear understanding of your boss’s instructions. This might be as simple as summarizing the instructions in your own words before hanging up. By demonstrating active listening, you assure your boss that you were paying attention and present an overall professional demeanor.
2-4. Answer briefly and to the point.
This conveys preparedness and allows your boss to get to the root of the call with few distractions. In most cases, your boss is busy, and likely just wants information pertaining to the reason he or she called. Unless your boss specifically asks for all the details, try to deliver exactly what your boss wants.
Again, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask for clarification as needed. Your boss is likely busy, but it is usually better to spend an extra 60 seconds now asking your question than forcing yourself or your boss to spend hours correcting your mistakes later on. If you have more questions than time allows, consider asking your boss if there’s another co-worker or a set of written instructions you can refer to for additional clarification.
2-5. Do verbal head nods throughout the conversation.
Verbal head nods are statements such as “yes,” “okay,” “I understand,” and “I see” -- all of which indicate you’re listening actively to your boss.
Of course, these verbal head nods should be placed appropriately within the conversation. Wait for a pause after an instruction or explanation before making this sort of remark.
2-6. Maintain a positive attitude throughout the call.
Having a positive, can-do attitude shows your boss that you’re confident, competent, and not afraid of taking on challenges associated with work. For example, if your boss calls to talk about a problem, discuss possible resolutions you can implement.
Even if your boss is critiquing your work or behavior, be as receptive as possible. Acknowledge the criticism by summarizing it in your own words, then discuss possible solutions to that point of critique. You can voice any honest concerns you have about going forward, but you should avoid making excuses for past mistakes or issues.
When you have to raise concerns or explain past problems, make “I” statements instead of “you” statements. This prevents your boss from going on the defense, and responding with angry or negative statements. For example, if your boss calls to speak with you about a project you didn’t finish on time, say “I ran into problems gathering resources” instead of “You didn’t give me all the resources on time.”
2-7. Thank your boss for taking time to call you.
Although your boss called you, and not the other way around, thanking your boss for calling you is a great way to express appreciation for his or her time. For example, say “I know you’re having a busy day; thanks for taking time to call me.”
This is true in nearly any phone call with your boss, but it is especially important if your boss was calling to explain a project, express a concern, or critique your work. The goal is to demonstrate your eagerness to do a good job on the tasks given to you, and thanking your boss for his or her time acknowledges that your boss’s call will make doing a good job more feasible.
3. Responding to an After-Hours Phone Call
3-1. Answer the call when possible.
If your boss calls you after hours, you should answer the phone as long as doing so does not interfere with non-work priorities. This is especially true if you started this job within the past six months.
Willingness to communicate with your boss after normal work hours will demonstrate your dedication to the company and to your position.
If you are unable to answer the phone, however, you should respond to your boss as soon as you're able to. Ideally, this means listening to any voicemail left and calling your boss back within a few minutes. Depending on company culture and the nature of the call, you might be able to get away with a quick text or emailing explaining the delay if a phone call is impossible.
3-2. Examine your company culture.
In some companies, your employer may expect you to remain within contact via phone and email regardless of the time of day or the day of the week. While this may seem unfair, you'll need to accept it as part of your company's culture if you wish to keep working there.
If you aren't sure what the protocol is, consult with your co-workers. You may learn that it's perfectly acceptable to delay response for a few hours, or you may discover that everyone else answers immediately. Find out what the expected response is and follow through.
3-3. Stay positive and take action according to the situation.
You should always be polite and positive when listening to your boss, even during an after hours call. That being said, you'll need to take a look at each situation individually before determining the right response to it.
If your boss is offering a general critique or set of instructions, for instance, take notes during the conversation, but feel free to resume your previous non-work activities after the call ends. You can usually save the action for your normal work hours if the matter isn't urgent.
On the other hand, if your boss calls you about an emergency, you'll need to handle the emergency immediately and according to your boss's wishes.
3-4. Evaluate your overall job satisfaction.
Your boss can't reasonably expect you to be available 24/7 -- however, there's no guarantee that your boss will have reasonable expectations. If your boss routinely calls you after hours and this causes you significant unhappiness or anxiety, it might be time to think about looking for another job.
You can try turning off your cell phone when you know your boss is making an after hours call, but unless your workplace is unionized, you're probably an "at will" employee who can be terminated at any time. Your boss may back off after getting the message that you won't answer after hours, but it's also possible your boss will respond by firing you.
Tips
Practice answering phone calls from your boss in a private setting so you can feel more comfortable, confident, and prepared the next time he or she calls. Practice talking to your boss by yourself, or do a series of mock telephone calls with friends and family members.
Communicate with your boss in a way that best reflects your company’s culture. Though your boss may be calling you specifically to discuss business, keep in mind that one-on-one talks with your boss are opportunities to make a good, lasting impression. View phone calls from your boss as positive interactions that can lead to future recognition and advancement in the workplace.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:04",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Practicing Professional Phone Etiquette\\n1-1. Speak clearly and directly into your mouthpiece.\\nThis prevents miscommunication between you and your boss, which can cause problems down the road. Also, your boss may become frustrated if he or she has problems communicating with you due to muffled talking and poor audio quality.\\nYou should also try smiling as you answer and talk on the phone. Most callers, including your boss, can hear a smile through your voice and tone. This can reflect favorably on your boss, especially if you work in industries associated with sales and customer service.\\n1-2. Give your boss your full attention.\\nWhen your boss is on the phone, make sure you pay attention. Stop whatever you're working on--even if it's an assignment your boss gave you earlier--and be prepared to listen to what your boss says.\\nAs a general rule, avoid responding to external distractions when your boss is talking with you. For instance, if a co-worker walks into your office while you're on the phone, politely gesture to the phone in your hand to indicate your current inability to speak.\\n1-3. Answer the phone call within two to three rings.\\nThis makes you seem productive and busy. Answering the phone too early can make it seem like you’re not too busy, while waiting too long before answering makes it seem as though the caller isn’t a priority.\\nIn a professional setting, you should do this regardless of who’s calling you. Don’t reserve this or any point of phone etiquette for when your boss shows up on your caller ID, since every co-worker, client, and vendor will be more receptive to a professionally polite demeanor. Plus, you can never know for sure when your boss might be calling from another line.\\n1-4. Use a professional greeting.\\nWhen you answer the phone, strive to be professional and pleasant. For example, if incoming calls are generally from other co-workers in your organization or if you know your boss is on the other end of the line, say, “This is John Smith. How can I help you today?”\\nFor larger organizations with multiple departments, you might also wish to include your department in your greeting: “This is John Smith in Sales. How can I help you?”\\nWhen answering a phone call from an outside line, you should state the name of your company, even if you suspect your boss might be the one calling. For example, you might say, “Good afternoon! This is ABC Widgets, John Smith speaking. How can I help you?”\\n1-5. Swallow food or spit out chewing gum.\\nIt’s best to do this before you answer the phone, but if you are unable to do so in time, your next option is to complete the action in as quiet and discreet a manner as possible. Talking with food or gum in your mouth can make you sound unprofessional, and can often be detected by the caller on the other end.\\n2. Talking To Your Boss\\n2-1. Take notes while talking to your boss.\\nThis helps you stay prepared in the event your boss gives you important information such as times, dates, addresses, or directions for a specific task. This also allows you to jot down any questions you might have for your boss in return.\\nConsider keeping a notepad and pen on your desk or in the top drawer, where it will be readily accessible. Having a notepad nearby will allow you to take notes for both planned and unplanned phone calls. Make sure you always grasp the expectations of the call. If needed, ask for clarification.\\nIf you don’t have a notepad available but you’re sitting at your computer, you can open a blank note or word processing document and take notes using that. Be aware, however, that your boss will be able to hear any loud typing you do; you’ll need to take extra care to demonstrate active listening, so that your boss will be less inclined to wonder if your keyboard clicks are truly related to the conversation.\\n2-2. Stay calm.\\nTake a few quiet, deep breaths, and take a sip of water if needed to help you stay calm. Symptoms of anxiety can be heard over the telephone, especially if you’re breathing hard, or your voice sounds nervous and shaky. Staying calm also helps you feel and sound more confident and in control.\\nIf you know your boss is about to call, try taking a short walk beforehand to release nervous energy. Even a walk around your office or department can help. Just make sure you're back with plenty of time to spare for your boss's phone call.\\nIf you need to calm down immediately before or during the call, try some deep breathing. Inhale as quietly as possible through your nose over a span of four to five seconds; hold for another three seconds, then exhale quietly over another four to five. The increased oxygen should help release tension and clear your mind.\\n2-3. Practice active listening at all times.\\nSince your boss isn’t speaking to you in person, it’s important that you clearly understand everything he or she tells you over the phone. Don’t be afraid to ask your boss to repeat and explain things you didn’t hear or understand correctly the first time.\\nIn fact, it might be a good idea to ask for clarification or to confirm details periodically, even if you have a clear understanding of your boss’s instructions. This might be as simple as summarizing the instructions in your own words before hanging up. By demonstrating active listening, you assure your boss that you were paying attention and present an overall professional demeanor.\\n2-4. Answer briefly and to the point.\\nThis conveys preparedness and allows your boss to get to the root of the call with few distractions. In most cases, your boss is busy, and likely just wants information pertaining to the reason he or she called. Unless your boss specifically asks for all the details, try to deliver exactly what your boss wants.\\nAgain, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask for clarification as needed. Your boss is likely busy, but it is usually better to spend an extra 60 seconds now asking your question than forcing yourself or your boss to spend hours correcting your mistakes later on. If you have more questions than time allows, consider asking your boss if there’s another co-worker or a set of written instructions you can refer to for additional clarification.\\n2-5. Do verbal head nods throughout the conversation.\\nVerbal head nods are statements such as “yes,” “okay,” “I understand,” and “I see” -- all of which indicate you’re listening actively to your boss.\\nOf course, these verbal head nods should be placed appropriately within the conversation. Wait for a pause after an instruction or explanation before making this sort of remark.\\n2-6. Maintain a positive attitude throughout the call.\\nHaving a positive, can-do attitude shows your boss that you’re confident, competent, and not afraid of taking on challenges associated with work. For example, if your boss calls to talk about a problem, discuss possible resolutions you can implement.\\nEven if your boss is critiquing your work or behavior, be as receptive as possible. Acknowledge the criticism by summarizing it in your own words, then discuss possible solutions to that point of critique. You can voice any honest concerns you have about going forward, but you should avoid making excuses for past mistakes or issues.\\nWhen you have to raise concerns or explain past problems, make “I” statements instead of “you” statements. This prevents your boss from going on the defense, and responding with angry or negative statements. For example, if your boss calls to speak with you about a project you didn’t finish on time, say “I ran into problems gathering resources” instead of “You didn’t give me all the resources on time.”\\n2-7. Thank your boss for taking time to call you.\\nAlthough your boss called you, and not the other way around, thanking your boss for calling you is a great way to express appreciation for his or her time. For example, say “I know you’re having a busy day; thanks for taking time to call me.”\\nThis is true in nearly any phone call with your boss, but it is especially important if your boss was calling to explain a project, express a concern, or critique your work. The goal is to demonstrate your eagerness to do a good job on the tasks given to you, and thanking your boss for his or her time acknowledges that your boss’s call will make doing a good job more feasible.\\n3. Responding to an After-Hours Phone Call\\n3-1. Answer the call when possible.\\nIf your boss calls you after hours, you should answer the phone as long as doing so does not interfere with non-work priorities. This is especially true if you started this job within the past six months.\\nWillingness to communicate with your boss after normal work hours will demonstrate your dedication to the company and to your position.\\nIf you are unable to answer the phone, however, you should respond to your boss as soon as you're able to. Ideally, this means listening to any voicemail left and calling your boss back within a few minutes. Depending on company culture and the nature of the call, you might be able to get away with a quick text or emailing explaining the delay if a phone call is impossible.\\n3-2. Examine your company culture.\\nIn some companies, your employer may expect you to remain within contact via phone and email regardless of the time of day or the day of the week. While this may seem unfair, you'll need to accept it as part of your company's culture if you wish to keep working there.\\nIf you aren't sure what the protocol is, consult with your co-workers. You may learn that it's perfectly acceptable to delay response for a few hours, or you may discover that everyone else answers immediately. Find out what the expected response is and follow through.\\n3-3. Stay positive and take action according to the situation.\\nYou should always be polite and positive when listening to your boss, even during an after hours call. That being said, you'll need to take a look at each situation individually before determining the right response to it.\\nIf your boss is offering a general critique or set of instructions, for instance, take notes during the conversation, but feel free to resume your previous non-work activities after the call ends. You can usually save the action for your normal work hours if the matter isn't urgent.\\nOn the other hand, if your boss calls you about an emergency, you'll need to handle the emergency immediately and according to your boss's wishes.\\n3-4. Evaluate your overall job satisfaction.\\nYour boss can't reasonably expect you to be available 24/7 -- however, there's no guarantee that your boss will have reasonable expectations. If your boss routinely calls you after hours and this causes you significant unhappiness or anxiety, it might be time to think about looking for another job.\\nYou can try turning off your cell phone when you know your boss is making an after hours call, but unless your workplace is unionized, you're probably an \\\"at will\\\" employee who can be terminated at any time. Your boss may back off after getting the message that you won't answer after hours, but it's also possible your boss will respond by firing you.\\nTips\\nPractice answering phone calls from your boss in a private setting so you can feel more comfortable, confident, and prepared the next time he or she calls. Practice talking to your boss by yourself, or do a series of mock telephone calls with friends and family members.\\nCommunicate with your boss in a way that best reflects your company’s culture. Though your boss may be calling you specifically to discuss business, keep in mind that one-on-one talks with your boss are opportunities to make a good, lasting impression. View phone calls from your boss as positive interactions that can lead to future recognition and advancement in the workplace.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You look down at your phone and—oh no, your boss is calling! If you're nervous, that's totally normal. But with a little preparation, you can make sure you sound professional, friendly, and confident on the phone. Below, we'll walk you through the best phone call etiquette and all the other top tips you need to know. To learn how to answer a phone call from your boss, read on!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practicing Professional Phone Etiquette\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Speak clearly and directly into your mouthpiece.\", \"描述\": \"This prevents miscommunication between you and your boss, which can cause problems down the road. Also, your boss may become frustrated if he or she has problems communicating with you due to muffled talking and poor audio quality.\\nYou should also try smiling as you answer and talk on the phone. Most callers, including your boss, can hear a smile through your voice and tone. This can reflect favorably on your boss, especially if you work in industries associated with sales and customer service.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Give your boss your full attention.\", \"描述\": \"When your boss is on the phone, make sure you pay attention. Stop whatever you're working on--even if it's an assignment your boss gave you earlier--and be prepared to listen to what your boss says.\\nAs a general rule, avoid responding to external distractions when your boss is talking with you. For instance, if a co-worker walks into your office while you're on the phone, politely gesture to the phone in your hand to indicate your current inability to speak.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Answer the phone call within two to three rings.\", \"描述\": \"This makes you seem productive and busy. Answering the phone too early can make it seem like you’re not too busy, while waiting too long before answering makes it seem as though the caller isn’t a priority.\\nIn a professional setting, you should do this regardless of who’s calling you. Don’t reserve this or any point of phone etiquette for when your boss shows up on your caller ID, since every co-worker, client, and vendor will be more receptive to a professionally polite demeanor. Plus, you can never know for sure when your boss might be calling from another line.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use a professional greeting.\", \"描述\": \"When you answer the phone, strive to be professional and pleasant. For example, if incoming calls are generally from other co-workers in your organization or if you know your boss is on the other end of the line, say, “This is John Smith. How can I help you today?”\\nFor larger organizations with multiple departments, you might also wish to include your department in your greeting: “This is John Smith in Sales. How can I help you?”\\nWhen answering a phone call from an outside line, you should state the name of your company, even if you suspect your boss might be the one calling. For example, you might say, “Good afternoon! This is ABC Widgets, John Smith speaking. How can I help you?”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Swallow food or spit out chewing gum.\", \"描述\": \"It’s best to do this before you answer the phone, but if you are unable to do so in time, your next option is to complete the action in as quiet and discreet a manner as possible. Talking with food or gum in your mouth can make you sound unprofessional, and can often be detected by the caller on the other end.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talking To Your Boss\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take notes while talking to your boss.\", \"描述\": \"This helps you stay prepared in the event your boss gives you important information such as times, dates, addresses, or directions for a specific task. This also allows you to jot down any questions you might have for your boss in return.\\nConsider keeping a notepad and pen on your desk or in the top drawer, where it will be readily accessible. Having a notepad nearby will allow you to take notes for both planned and unplanned phone calls. Make sure you always grasp the expectations of the call. If needed, ask for clarification.\\nIf you don’t have a notepad available but you’re sitting at your computer, you can open a blank note or word processing document and take notes using that. Be aware, however, that your boss will be able to hear any loud typing you do; you’ll need to take extra care to demonstrate active listening, so that your boss will be less inclined to wonder if your keyboard clicks are truly related to the conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stay calm.\", \"描述\": \"Take a few quiet, deep breaths, and take a sip of water if needed to help you stay calm. Symptoms of anxiety can be heard over the telephone, especially if you’re breathing hard, or your voice sounds nervous and shaky. Staying calm also helps you feel and sound more confident and in control.\\nIf you know your boss is about to call, try taking a short walk beforehand to release nervous energy. Even a walk around your office or department can help. Just make sure you're back with plenty of time to spare for your boss's phone call.\\nIf you need to calm down immediately before or during the call, try some deep breathing. Inhale as quietly as possible through your nose over a span of four to five seconds; hold for another three seconds, then exhale quietly over another four to five. The increased oxygen should help release tension and clear your mind.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice active listening at all times.\", \"描述\": \"Since your boss isn’t speaking to you in person, it’s important that you clearly understand everything he or she tells you over the phone. Don’t be afraid to ask your boss to repeat and explain things you didn’t hear or understand correctly the first time.\\nIn fact, it might be a good idea to ask for clarification or to confirm details periodically, even if you have a clear understanding of your boss’s instructions. This might be as simple as summarizing the instructions in your own words before hanging up. By demonstrating active listening, you assure your boss that you were paying attention and present an overall professional demeanor.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Answer briefly and to the point.\", \"描述\": \"This conveys preparedness and allows your boss to get to the root of the call with few distractions. In most cases, your boss is busy, and likely just wants information pertaining to the reason he or she called. Unless your boss specifically asks for all the details, try to deliver exactly what your boss wants.\\nAgain, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask for clarification as needed. Your boss is likely busy, but it is usually better to spend an extra 60 seconds now asking your question than forcing yourself or your boss to spend hours correcting your mistakes later on. If you have more questions than time allows, consider asking your boss if there’s another co-worker or a set of written instructions you can refer to for additional clarification.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Do verbal head nods throughout the conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Verbal head nods are statements such as “yes,” “okay,” “I understand,” and “I see” -- all of which indicate you’re listening actively to your boss.\\nOf course, these verbal head nods should be placed appropriately within the conversation. Wait for a pause after an instruction or explanation before making this sort of remark.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Maintain a positive attitude throughout the call.\", \"描述\": \"Having a positive, can-do attitude shows your boss that you’re confident, competent, and not afraid of taking on challenges associated with work. For example, if your boss calls to talk about a problem, discuss possible resolutions you can implement.\\nEven if your boss is critiquing your work or behavior, be as receptive as possible. Acknowledge the criticism by summarizing it in your own words, then discuss possible solutions to that point of critique. You can voice any honest concerns you have about going forward, but you should avoid making excuses for past mistakes or issues.\\nWhen you have to raise concerns or explain past problems, make “I” statements instead of “you” statements. This prevents your boss from going on the defense, and responding with angry or negative statements. For example, if your boss calls to speak with you about a project you didn’t finish on time, say “I ran into problems gathering resources” instead of “You didn’t give me all the resources on time.”\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Thank your boss for taking time to call you.\", \"描述\": \"Although your boss called you, and not the other way around, thanking your boss for calling you is a great way to express appreciation for his or her time. For example, say “I know you’re having a busy day; thanks for taking time to call me.”\\nThis is true in nearly any phone call with your boss, but it is especially important if your boss was calling to explain a project, express a concern, or critique your work. The goal is to demonstrate your eagerness to do a good job on the tasks given to you, and thanking your boss for his or her time acknowledges that your boss’s call will make doing a good job more feasible.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Responding to an After-Hours Phone Call\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Answer the call when possible.\", \"描述\": \"If your boss calls you after hours, you should answer the phone as long as doing so does not interfere with non-work priorities. This is especially true if you started this job within the past six months.\\nWillingness to communicate with your boss after normal work hours will demonstrate your dedication to the company and to your position.\\nIf you are unable to answer the phone, however, you should respond to your boss as soon as you're able to. Ideally, this means listening to any voicemail left and calling your boss back within a few minutes. Depending on company culture and the nature of the call, you might be able to get away with a quick text or emailing explaining the delay if a phone call is impossible.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Examine your company culture.\", \"描述\": \"In some companies, your employer may expect you to remain within contact via phone and email regardless of the time of day or the day of the week. While this may seem unfair, you'll need to accept it as part of your company's culture if you wish to keep working there.\\nIf you aren't sure what the protocol is, consult with your co-workers. You may learn that it's perfectly acceptable to delay response for a few hours, or you may discover that everyone else answers immediately. Find out what the expected response is and follow through.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stay positive and take action according to the situation.\", \"描述\": \"You should always be polite and positive when listening to your boss, even during an after hours call. That being said, you'll need to take a look at each situation individually before determining the right response to it.\\nIf your boss is offering a general critique or set of instructions, for instance, take notes during the conversation, but feel free to resume your previous non-work activities after the call ends. You can usually save the action for your normal work hours if the matter isn't urgent.\\nOn the other hand, if your boss calls you about an emergency, you'll need to handle the emergency immediately and according to your boss's wishes.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Evaluate your overall job satisfaction.\", \"描述\": \"Your boss can't reasonably expect you to be available 24/7 -- however, there's no guarantee that your boss will have reasonable expectations. If your boss routinely calls you after hours and this causes you significant unhappiness or anxiety, it might be time to think about looking for another job.\\nYou can try turning off your cell phone when you know your boss is making an after hours call, but unless your workplace is unionized, you're probably an \\\"at will\\\" employee who can be terminated at any time. Your boss may back off after getting the message that you won't answer after hours, but it's also possible your boss will respond by firing you.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Practice answering phone calls from your boss in a private setting so you can feel more comfortable, confident, and prepared the next time he or she calls. Practice talking to your boss by yourself, or do a series of mock telephone calls with friends and family members.\\n\", \"Communicate with your boss in a way that best reflects your company’s culture. Though your boss may be calling you specifically to discuss business, keep in mind that one-on-one talks with your boss are opportunities to make a good, lasting impression. View phone calls from your boss as positive interactions that can lead to future recognition and advancement in the workplace.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,753 | How to Answer a Phone Interview Call | 1. Answering the Call Properly
1-1. Greet the interviewer professionally.
Perhaps the most important part of a phone interview is how you answer the phone when it rings. You are expecting the call. Even if they're calling your personal number, answer the phone as though you were answering the phone at an office.
When the phone rings, answer it as soon as possible, no later than the third ring. Say hello and state your full name clearly. For example: "Hello, this is Jay Gatsby."
1-2. Confirm you were expecting the call.
After your greeting, the interviewer will return your greeting and let you know who they are. Jot down their name so you don't forget it, and let them know that you've been looking forward to hearing from them.
For example: "Hi, Daisy! Thank you for taking the time to talk with me today. I'm excited to discuss the opportunity to work with your company."
1-3. Address the interviewer politely.
You should dress professionally and sit up straight at a desk or table to reinforce the fact that this is a professional interview. Even though you're on the phone, be careful about lapsing into a more casual tone.
When you use the interviewer's name, call them by their last name with Mr. or Ms., or whatever title they used when they first introduced themselves. You can also address them as sir or ma'am.
Only address the interviewer by their first name if they specifically ask you to do so.
If the interviewer compliments you or makes any positive comments about you, be sure to tell them "thank you."
2. Acing the Rest of the Interview
2-1. Take notes to organize your thoughts.
One benefit of a phone interview is that you can jot down notes as the interviewer is talking or asking questions. This can help you plan what you're going to say and make sure you answer the question completely.
If the interviewer asks a multi-part question, outline the question by jotting down a word or two to help remind yourself of each part. You'll impress the interviewer when you respond in an organized way, listing the parts of their question back to them.
2-2. Listen carefully and pause before responding.
When all you have is a voice with no visual input, it can be difficult to focus. Concentrate on what your interviewer is saying and try to keep your mind from drifting off or thinking about what you're going to say.
Allow a few seconds of silence before you start speaking. This not only allows you to make sure that the interviewer is done speaking, but also gives you a chance to collect your thoughts before you speak.
If you do happen to miss part of a question, or if you don't understand what the interviewer is asking, get clarification before you launch into your answer.
2-3. Speak clearly and enunciate your words.
Regardless of the clarity of the connection, it can be more difficult to understand someone over the phone than it would be if you were talking in person. Overcome this with slow, deliberate speech.
Make this something you work on during your practice phone interviews, if you have trouble enunciating or tend to mumble.
When you're talking, make sure you're sitting up straight rather than laying down or leaning, and keep your hands off your face. It may be easier if you wear a headset or put the call on speaker so you don't have to hold the phone up to your face.
2-4. Ask follow-up questions to communicate your interest.
The best interview will feel more like a give-and-take conversation. Although the interviewer will likely ask you at the end of the interview if you have any questions, you should also take it upon yourself to ask questions throughout the course of the interview when the opportunity presents itself.
For example, the interviewer may ask you a question that reminds you of a news article you read about a new product the company is unveiling. When you've finished answering the question, you might ask "That reminds me of the article I read in Tech Daily about your Widget! How do you see the Widget impacting daily communication?"
2-5. Send a thank you note after the interview.
After your interview is over, take a few minutes to compose a handwritten thank you note and send it to your interviewer. The note doesn't need to be more than two or three sentences. Simply thank them for their time and for the opportunity, and let them know you look forward to hearing from them soon.
Try to be as specific as possible. If there was something they said to you that really stood out, you might mention that.
If they gave you a definite time frame for when you could expect to hear back from them, mention it specifically.
3. Sounding Professional and Confident
3-1. Sit up straight at a desk or table.
A phone interview is not the time to spread out on your bed or lounge on the couch. How you're sitting affects how your voice sounds, and your interviewer will likely be able to tell if you're reclined. This sends the message that you're not taking the interview seriously.
Laying down also may reduce the call quality, or result in a lot of rustling and background noise when you shift position.
If you sit up straight, your voice will project authority and confidence, which your interviewer will be able to hear.
3-2. Treat a phone interview like an in-person interview.
While it's true that your phone interviewer won't be able to see you, how you dress and present yourself will have an effect on your overall tone and attitude. Your interviewer will notice.
You don't necessarily have to go all the way and dress like you would if you were going to an in-person interview, but at least dress neatly and professionally before your phone interview.
Think in terms of getting ready for the phone interview the way you would get ready to go to work if you were hired by the company.
3-3. Avoid eating or drinking.
Even if you have the person on speaker phone, they'll be able to hear if you're eating or drinking during the interview. If you've ever heard someone eating or drinking while on the phone, you understand how distracting this can be.
In keeping with the idea of treating a phone interview like an in-person interview, you don't want to do anything that you wouldn't do if you were meeting in your interviewer's office – that includes things like eating, drinking, or chewing gum.
Keep a glass of water on hand in case your throat gets dry. Turn your head away from the phone to drink, and avoid ice cubes that could clink and be heard over the phone.
3-4. Smile when you speak.
When you smile, your face is more relaxed and your tone will automatically be friendlier and brighter. Even though the interviewer won't be able to see you, your voice will radiate positivity and enthusiasm.
4. Planning Ahead for the Call
4-1. Research the company before the interview.
Even if you researched the company before you applied, once you're granted a phone interview it's time to dig deeper. Get to know what's happening in the company as well as the general industry.
Look up news items and go to the company's website to read press releases and find out what new products or services the company has coming out soon. Make notes about things you might want to ask your interviewer about.
You also want to get a handle on the activities of the company's key competitors. Read about the overall industry as well, so you understand the strengths of the market.
4-2. Draft sample answers to common interview questions.
When you're giving a phone interview, the interviewer won't be able to see you. Use this to your advantage by drafting some quick notes to help you if you get asked particularly difficult questions.
For example, you're probably going to be asked to identify your strengths and weaknesses. Your answers to these questions should be organized and concise, and should relate to a work-related trait, not a personal one.
4-3. Practice talking on the phone.
Doing an interview over the phone is nothing like chatting to friends and family. Especially if you haven't had a good deal of experience using the telephone professionally, try to get on the phone as often as possible in the days leading up to the phone interview.
When you talk on the phone, you lack visual cues that can tell you when a person has stopped talking, or when it's time for you to respond. Practicing phone conversations can help you adjust so the conversation runs more smoothly.
If you don't have any real reasons to use the phone, ask a friend or family member if they'd be willing to practice with you. Arrange for them to call at a specific time, and treat it just like an interview.
4-4. Find a quiet place to take the call.
Set up an area at home or in a quiet environment where you have control over the background noise and activities going on around you. If you're using your mobile phone, make sure you get a good signal in that location.
If your home is a noisy place with kids or roommates coming in and out, find somewhere else with relative privacy. Many libraries have conference rooms or study rooms with closed doors that you can reserve – just make sure you have your room lined up well in advance.
4-5. Turn off notifications and electronic devices.
If the interviewer hears dings or buzzes from a device during the interview, they'll get the impression that you're doing something else while you're talking to them. Give them your undivided attention, just as you would if you were having the interview in their office.
Other devices also may interfere with your signal and affect the quality of your reception if you're using a mobile phone. Turn off any Wi-Fi devices in the area where you'll be taking the call, or move them to another room for the duration of the call.
4-6. Gather all your documentation.
Organize your notes, any information about the company, and copies of your resumé and other materials so that you can access them easily while you're on the phone for the interview.
Spread things out so that you can access them easily without having to do a lot of shuffling or moving around. The interviewer will be able to hear you over the phone, and you may end up sounding more scattered and disorganized than you actually are.
4-7. Try breathing exercises before the time of the call.
You'll probably be nervous as the time approaches for your interviewer to call. Practicing some deep breathing can calm your voice and help you relax and focus.
In addition to taking a few deep breaths, you also might want to try a few vocal preparation exercises, just as singers or actors do before going on stage. This will help keep your voice from cracking or shaking, and give you more command over your voice.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:04",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Answering the Call Properly\\n1-1. Greet the interviewer professionally.\\nPerhaps the most important part of a phone interview is how you answer the phone when it rings. You are expecting the call. Even if they're calling your personal number, answer the phone as though you were answering the phone at an office.\\nWhen the phone rings, answer it as soon as possible, no later than the third ring. Say hello and state your full name clearly. For example: \\\"Hello, this is Jay Gatsby.\\\"\\n1-2. Confirm you were expecting the call.\\nAfter your greeting, the interviewer will return your greeting and let you know who they are. Jot down their name so you don't forget it, and let them know that you've been looking forward to hearing from them.\\nFor example: \\\"Hi, Daisy! Thank you for taking the time to talk with me today. I'm excited to discuss the opportunity to work with your company.\\\"\\n1-3. Address the interviewer politely.\\nYou should dress professionally and sit up straight at a desk or table to reinforce the fact that this is a professional interview. Even though you're on the phone, be careful about lapsing into a more casual tone.\\nWhen you use the interviewer's name, call them by their last name with Mr. or Ms., or whatever title they used when they first introduced themselves. You can also address them as sir or ma'am.\\nOnly address the interviewer by their first name if they specifically ask you to do so.\\nIf the interviewer compliments you or makes any positive comments about you, be sure to tell them \\\"thank you.\\\"\\n2. Acing the Rest of the Interview\\n2-1. Take notes to organize your thoughts.\\nOne benefit of a phone interview is that you can jot down notes as the interviewer is talking or asking questions. This can help you plan what you're going to say and make sure you answer the question completely.\\nIf the interviewer asks a multi-part question, outline the question by jotting down a word or two to help remind yourself of each part. You'll impress the interviewer when you respond in an organized way, listing the parts of their question back to them.\\n2-2. Listen carefully and pause before responding.\\nWhen all you have is a voice with no visual input, it can be difficult to focus. Concentrate on what your interviewer is saying and try to keep your mind from drifting off or thinking about what you're going to say.\\nAllow a few seconds of silence before you start speaking. This not only allows you to make sure that the interviewer is done speaking, but also gives you a chance to collect your thoughts before you speak.\\nIf you do happen to miss part of a question, or if you don't understand what the interviewer is asking, get clarification before you launch into your answer.\\n2-3. Speak clearly and enunciate your words.\\nRegardless of the clarity of the connection, it can be more difficult to understand someone over the phone than it would be if you were talking in person. Overcome this with slow, deliberate speech.\\nMake this something you work on during your practice phone interviews, if you have trouble enunciating or tend to mumble.\\nWhen you're talking, make sure you're sitting up straight rather than laying down or leaning, and keep your hands off your face. It may be easier if you wear a headset or put the call on speaker so you don't have to hold the phone up to your face.\\n2-4. Ask follow-up questions to communicate your interest.\\nThe best interview will feel more like a give-and-take conversation. Although the interviewer will likely ask you at the end of the interview if you have any questions, you should also take it upon yourself to ask questions throughout the course of the interview when the opportunity presents itself.\\nFor example, the interviewer may ask you a question that reminds you of a news article you read about a new product the company is unveiling. When you've finished answering the question, you might ask \\\"That reminds me of the article I read in Tech Daily about your Widget! How do you see the Widget impacting daily communication?\\\"\\n2-5. Send a thank you note after the interview.\\nAfter your interview is over, take a few minutes to compose a handwritten thank you note and send it to your interviewer. The note doesn't need to be more than two or three sentences. Simply thank them for their time and for the opportunity, and let them know you look forward to hearing from them soon.\\nTry to be as specific as possible. If there was something they said to you that really stood out, you might mention that.\\nIf they gave you a definite time frame for when you could expect to hear back from them, mention it specifically.\\n3. Sounding Professional and Confident\\n3-1. Sit up straight at a desk or table.\\nA phone interview is not the time to spread out on your bed or lounge on the couch. How you're sitting affects how your voice sounds, and your interviewer will likely be able to tell if you're reclined. This sends the message that you're not taking the interview seriously.\\nLaying down also may reduce the call quality, or result in a lot of rustling and background noise when you shift position.\\nIf you sit up straight, your voice will project authority and confidence, which your interviewer will be able to hear.\\n3-2. Treat a phone interview like an in-person interview.\\nWhile it's true that your phone interviewer won't be able to see you, how you dress and present yourself will have an effect on your overall tone and attitude. Your interviewer will notice.\\nYou don't necessarily have to go all the way and dress like you would if you were going to an in-person interview, but at least dress neatly and professionally before your phone interview.\\nThink in terms of getting ready for the phone interview the way you would get ready to go to work if you were hired by the company.\\n3-3. Avoid eating or drinking.\\nEven if you have the person on speaker phone, they'll be able to hear if you're eating or drinking during the interview. If you've ever heard someone eating or drinking while on the phone, you understand how distracting this can be.\\nIn keeping with the idea of treating a phone interview like an in-person interview, you don't want to do anything that you wouldn't do if you were meeting in your interviewer's office – that includes things like eating, drinking, or chewing gum.\\nKeep a glass of water on hand in case your throat gets dry. Turn your head away from the phone to drink, and avoid ice cubes that could clink and be heard over the phone.\\n3-4. Smile when you speak.\\nWhen you smile, your face is more relaxed and your tone will automatically be friendlier and brighter. Even though the interviewer won't be able to see you, your voice will radiate positivity and enthusiasm.\\n4. Planning Ahead for the Call\\n4-1. Research the company before the interview.\\nEven if you researched the company before you applied, once you're granted a phone interview it's time to dig deeper. Get to know what's happening in the company as well as the general industry.\\nLook up news items and go to the company's website to read press releases and find out what new products or services the company has coming out soon. Make notes about things you might want to ask your interviewer about.\\nYou also want to get a handle on the activities of the company's key competitors. Read about the overall industry as well, so you understand the strengths of the market.\\n4-2. Draft sample answers to common interview questions.\\nWhen you're giving a phone interview, the interviewer won't be able to see you. Use this to your advantage by drafting some quick notes to help you if you get asked particularly difficult questions.\\nFor example, you're probably going to be asked to identify your strengths and weaknesses. Your answers to these questions should be organized and concise, and should relate to a work-related trait, not a personal one.\\n4-3. Practice talking on the phone.\\nDoing an interview over the phone is nothing like chatting to friends and family. Especially if you haven't had a good deal of experience using the telephone professionally, try to get on the phone as often as possible in the days leading up to the phone interview.\\nWhen you talk on the phone, you lack visual cues that can tell you when a person has stopped talking, or when it's time for you to respond. Practicing phone conversations can help you adjust so the conversation runs more smoothly.\\nIf you don't have any real reasons to use the phone, ask a friend or family member if they'd be willing to practice with you. Arrange for them to call at a specific time, and treat it just like an interview.\\n4-4. Find a quiet place to take the call.\\nSet up an area at home or in a quiet environment where you have control over the background noise and activities going on around you. If you're using your mobile phone, make sure you get a good signal in that location.\\nIf your home is a noisy place with kids or roommates coming in and out, find somewhere else with relative privacy. Many libraries have conference rooms or study rooms with closed doors that you can reserve – just make sure you have your room lined up well in advance.\\n4-5. Turn off notifications and electronic devices.\\nIf the interviewer hears dings or buzzes from a device during the interview, they'll get the impression that you're doing something else while you're talking to them. Give them your undivided attention, just as you would if you were having the interview in their office.\\nOther devices also may interfere with your signal and affect the quality of your reception if you're using a mobile phone. Turn off any Wi-Fi devices in the area where you'll be taking the call, or move them to another room for the duration of the call.\\n4-6. Gather all your documentation.\\nOrganize your notes, any information about the company, and copies of your resumé and other materials so that you can access them easily while you're on the phone for the interview.\\nSpread things out so that you can access them easily without having to do a lot of shuffling or moving around. The interviewer will be able to hear you over the phone, and you may end up sounding more scattered and disorganized than you actually are.\\n4-7. Try breathing exercises before the time of the call.\\nYou'll probably be nervous as the time approaches for your interviewer to call. Practicing some deep breathing can calm your voice and help you relax and focus.\\nIn addition to taking a few deep breaths, you also might want to try a few vocal preparation exercises, just as singers or actors do before going on stage. This will help keep your voice from cracking or shaking, and give you more command over your voice.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you live far away from a company where you've applied to work, or if the company is swamped with applications, you may be asked to do a phone interview. Your goal with a phone interview is to get to the next stage of the process, where you can have an in-person interview. To make a good impression, treat your phone interview exactly as you would an in-person interview. Answer the phone interview call professionally, and maintain a courteous and professional tone throughout the conversation.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Answering the Call Properly\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Greet the interviewer professionally.\", \"描述\": \"Perhaps the most important part of a phone interview is how you answer the phone when it rings. You are expecting the call. Even if they're calling your personal number, answer the phone as though you were answering the phone at an office.\\nWhen the phone rings, answer it as soon as possible, no later than the third ring. Say hello and state your full name clearly. For example: \\\"Hello, this is Jay Gatsby.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Confirm you were expecting the call.\", \"描述\": \"After your greeting, the interviewer will return your greeting and let you know who they are. Jot down their name so you don't forget it, and let them know that you've been looking forward to hearing from them.\\nFor example: \\\"Hi, Daisy! Thank you for taking the time to talk with me today. I'm excited to discuss the opportunity to work with your company.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Address the interviewer politely.\", \"描述\": \"You should dress professionally and sit up straight at a desk or table to reinforce the fact that this is a professional interview. Even though you're on the phone, be careful about lapsing into a more casual tone.\\nWhen you use the interviewer's name, call them by their last name with Mr. or Ms., or whatever title they used when they first introduced themselves. You can also address them as sir or ma'am.\\nOnly address the interviewer by their first name if they specifically ask you to do so.\\nIf the interviewer compliments you or makes any positive comments about you, be sure to tell them \\\"thank you.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Acing the Rest of the Interview\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take notes to organize your thoughts.\", \"描述\": \"One benefit of a phone interview is that you can jot down notes as the interviewer is talking or asking questions. This can help you plan what you're going to say and make sure you answer the question completely.\\nIf the interviewer asks a multi-part question, outline the question by jotting down a word or two to help remind yourself of each part. You'll impress the interviewer when you respond in an organized way, listing the parts of their question back to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Listen carefully and pause before responding.\", \"描述\": \"When all you have is a voice with no visual input, it can be difficult to focus. Concentrate on what your interviewer is saying and try to keep your mind from drifting off or thinking about what you're going to say.\\nAllow a few seconds of silence before you start speaking. This not only allows you to make sure that the interviewer is done speaking, but also gives you a chance to collect your thoughts before you speak.\\nIf you do happen to miss part of a question, or if you don't understand what the interviewer is asking, get clarification before you launch into your answer.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Speak clearly and enunciate your words.\", \"描述\": \"Regardless of the clarity of the connection, it can be more difficult to understand someone over the phone than it would be if you were talking in person. Overcome this with slow, deliberate speech.\\nMake this something you work on during your practice phone interviews, if you have trouble enunciating or tend to mumble.\\nWhen you're talking, make sure you're sitting up straight rather than laying down or leaning, and keep your hands off your face. It may be easier if you wear a headset or put the call on speaker so you don't have to hold the phone up to your face.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask follow-up questions to communicate your interest.\", \"描述\": \"The best interview will feel more like a give-and-take conversation. Although the interviewer will likely ask you at the end of the interview if you have any questions, you should also take it upon yourself to ask questions throughout the course of the interview when the opportunity presents itself.\\nFor example, the interviewer may ask you a question that reminds you of a news article you read about a new product the company is unveiling. When you've finished answering the question, you might ask \\\"That reminds me of the article I read in Tech Daily about your Widget! How do you see the Widget impacting daily communication?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Send a thank you note after the interview.\", \"描述\": \"After your interview is over, take a few minutes to compose a handwritten thank you note and send it to your interviewer. The note doesn't need to be more than two or three sentences. Simply thank them for their time and for the opportunity, and let them know you look forward to hearing from them soon.\\nTry to be as specific as possible. If there was something they said to you that really stood out, you might mention that.\\nIf they gave you a definite time frame for when you could expect to hear back from them, mention it specifically.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Sounding Professional and Confident\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sit up straight at a desk or table.\", \"描述\": \"A phone interview is not the time to spread out on your bed or lounge on the couch. How you're sitting affects how your voice sounds, and your interviewer will likely be able to tell if you're reclined. This sends the message that you're not taking the interview seriously.\\nLaying down also may reduce the call quality, or result in a lot of rustling and background noise when you shift position.\\nIf you sit up straight, your voice will project authority and confidence, which your interviewer will be able to hear.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Treat a phone interview like an in-person interview.\", \"描述\": \"While it's true that your phone interviewer won't be able to see you, how you dress and present yourself will have an effect on your overall tone and attitude. Your interviewer will notice.\\nYou don't necessarily have to go all the way and dress like you would if you were going to an in-person interview, but at least dress neatly and professionally before your phone interview.\\nThink in terms of getting ready for the phone interview the way you would get ready to go to work if you were hired by the company.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid eating or drinking.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you have the person on speaker phone, they'll be able to hear if you're eating or drinking during the interview. If you've ever heard someone eating or drinking while on the phone, you understand how distracting this can be.\\nIn keeping with the idea of treating a phone interview like an in-person interview, you don't want to do anything that you wouldn't do if you were meeting in your interviewer's office – that includes things like eating, drinking, or chewing gum.\\nKeep a glass of water on hand in case your throat gets dry. Turn your head away from the phone to drink, and avoid ice cubes that could clink and be heard over the phone.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Smile when you speak.\", \"描述\": \"When you smile, your face is more relaxed and your tone will automatically be friendlier and brighter. Even though the interviewer won't be able to see you, your voice will radiate positivity and enthusiasm.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Planning Ahead for the Call\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Research the company before the interview.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you researched the company before you applied, once you're granted a phone interview it's time to dig deeper. Get to know what's happening in the company as well as the general industry.\\nLook up news items and go to the company's website to read press releases and find out what new products or services the company has coming out soon. Make notes about things you might want to ask your interviewer about.\\nYou also want to get a handle on the activities of the company's key competitors. Read about the overall industry as well, so you understand the strengths of the market.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Draft sample answers to common interview questions.\", \"描述\": \"When you're giving a phone interview, the interviewer won't be able to see you. Use this to your advantage by drafting some quick notes to help you if you get asked particularly difficult questions.\\nFor example, you're probably going to be asked to identify your strengths and weaknesses. Your answers to these questions should be organized and concise, and should relate to a work-related trait, not a personal one.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice talking on the phone.\", \"描述\": \"Doing an interview over the phone is nothing like chatting to friends and family. Especially if you haven't had a good deal of experience using the telephone professionally, try to get on the phone as often as possible in the days leading up to the phone interview.\\nWhen you talk on the phone, you lack visual cues that can tell you when a person has stopped talking, or when it's time for you to respond. Practicing phone conversations can help you adjust so the conversation runs more smoothly.\\nIf you don't have any real reasons to use the phone, ask a friend or family member if they'd be willing to practice with you. Arrange for them to call at a specific time, and treat it just like an interview.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Find a quiet place to take the call.\", \"描述\": \"Set up an area at home or in a quiet environment where you have control over the background noise and activities going on around you. If you're using your mobile phone, make sure you get a good signal in that location.\\nIf your home is a noisy place with kids or roommates coming in and out, find somewhere else with relative privacy. Many libraries have conference rooms or study rooms with closed doors that you can reserve – just make sure you have your room lined up well in advance.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Turn off notifications and electronic devices.\", \"描述\": \"If the interviewer hears dings or buzzes from a device during the interview, they'll get the impression that you're doing something else while you're talking to them. Give them your undivided attention, just as you would if you were having the interview in their office.\\nOther devices also may interfere with your signal and affect the quality of your reception if you're using a mobile phone. Turn off any Wi-Fi devices in the area where you'll be taking the call, or move them to another room for the duration of the call.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Gather all your documentation.\", \"描述\": \"Organize your notes, any information about the company, and copies of your resumé and other materials so that you can access them easily while you're on the phone for the interview.\\nSpread things out so that you can access them easily without having to do a lot of shuffling or moving around. The interviewer will be able to hear you over the phone, and you may end up sounding more scattered and disorganized than you actually are.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Try breathing exercises before the time of the call.\", \"描述\": \"You'll probably be nervous as the time approaches for your interviewer to call. Practicing some deep breathing can calm your voice and help you relax and focus.\\nIn addition to taking a few deep breaths, you also might want to try a few vocal preparation exercises, just as singers or actors do before going on stage. This will help keep your voice from cracking or shaking, and give you more command over your voice.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,754 | Answering Questions on Stack Overflow: Tips & Best Practices | 1. Answering Questions
1-1. Go to https://stackoverflow.com/questions.
You can use any web browser, like Chrome or Safari, to visit this site and answer questions.
You can sort the questions by newest, active, bountied, unanswered, and more. If you want to browse questions, you'll find more under "Hot Network Questions" on the right side of the page.
To narrow your results, you can look for specific tags. Tags appear on the right side of the page under "Related Tags." Click to see more tags.
1-2. Find a question that you think you can answer well.
Click on the title of the question (it's blue) that you want to answer. You'll be redirected to that thread.
1-3. Read the question and other answers carefully.
Figure out if you have any additional, relevant information to add. If not, then answering is not going to be the best action for you to take since repeated or poor answers will result in you getting a negative reputation.
1-4. Fill in your answer in the Answer Box.
You can add formatting including bold, italics, links, and images to enhance your answer at the top of the box.
If you don't see an answer box, your account may have been banned for lots of low-quality or poorly rated answers. To lift the ban, the Stack Overflow system must decide that you have more highly rated and positive reviews than negative ones.
1-5. Sign in or enter the information to post as a guest.
When you're finished writing your answer, you'll need to sign in or post as a guest with some pertinent information, like your name and email address.
1-6. Click Post Your Answer.
The page will reload and your answer should show up in the next few minutes.
If you need help formatting your answer visit Stack Overflow's editing help page here: http://stackoverflow.com/editing-help
Once you have posted your answer, consider finding another question by clicking on a related tag, or re-searching the question page.
2. Basic Formatting and Best Practices
2-1. Press Ctrl+K to toggle indenting as code.
Using the escaped block (<pre><code>), your text will include a grey block of about 4 indented spaces before a new line. The blocks here prevent your code from automatically running in the comments.
2-2. Press Ctrl+I (Italics) or Ctrl+B (Bold) to format your text.
This is useful for putting emphasis on specific areas of your text.
2-3. Enter "</br>" to enter a line break.
If you don't want all your text in one line, you can use that HTML code to break up your text.
2-4. Press Ctrl+L to create a link.
If you don't have text selected when you press , you will be asked to create a link. If you have text selected, that text will be the link to your outside source.
There are tons more formatting options, but those are the only supported formats in comments.
3. What to Expect
3-1. If you provide the best answer, it may be marked as "accepted."
An accepted answer is indicated by the checkmark next to the answer.
An accepted answer is not a 100% guarantee to work for everyone else; it is merely an answer that worked for the original author of the question.
An accepted answer gets the answerer +15 reputation and the question author +2 reputation.
To answer your own question, you have to wait 48 hours after the question is posted and you will not earn any reputation bonuses.
3-2. Your reputation on the site fluctuates as you answer, edit, and ask questions.
You can gain reputation in a multitude of ways, including having a question, answer, or article upvoted, or having an answer marked as "accepted." You can also, however, lose reputation easily including having a question, answer, or article downvoted or if your post receives more than 6 spam warnings or offensive flags.
In the case of a bad reputation, deleting may not help. Instead, you need to garner more positive reviews than negative ones.
The higher your reputation, the more privileges you have! A user with a very high reputation score has something like a moderator's toolbox, like 25,000 gets you access to the site's analytics.
Tips
If the question is asking you to provide some examples of code, test the code in your answer before posting, as there's nothing more embarrassing than posting broken code.
If you know someone who might know the answer to a particular question, you can also email, tweet, or Facebook the question directly to them.
Warnings
Stack Overflow is a question-and-answer site, not a discussion forum. If you have input on something another user has posted, or want to thank somebody, leave it as a comment instead of posting a new answer.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:04",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Answering Questions\\n1-1. Go to https://stackoverflow.com/questions.\\nYou can use any web browser, like Chrome or Safari, to visit this site and answer questions.\\nYou can sort the questions by newest, active, bountied, unanswered, and more. If you want to browse questions, you'll find more under \\\"Hot Network Questions\\\" on the right side of the page.\\nTo narrow your results, you can look for specific tags. Tags appear on the right side of the page under \\\"Related Tags.\\\" Click to see more tags.\\n1-2. Find a question that you think you can answer well.\\nClick on the title of the question (it's blue) that you want to answer. You'll be redirected to that thread.\\n1-3. Read the question and other answers carefully.\\nFigure out if you have any additional, relevant information to add. If not, then answering is not going to be the best action for you to take since repeated or poor answers will result in you getting a negative reputation.\\n1-4. Fill in your answer in the Answer Box.\\nYou can add formatting including bold, italics, links, and images to enhance your answer at the top of the box.\\nIf you don't see an answer box, your account may have been banned for lots of low-quality or poorly rated answers. To lift the ban, the Stack Overflow system must decide that you have more highly rated and positive reviews than negative ones.\\n1-5. Sign in or enter the information to post as a guest.\\nWhen you're finished writing your answer, you'll need to sign in or post as a guest with some pertinent information, like your name and email address.\\n1-6. Click Post Your Answer.\\nThe page will reload and your answer should show up in the next few minutes.\\nIf you need help formatting your answer visit Stack Overflow's editing help page here: http://stackoverflow.com/editing-help\\nOnce you have posted your answer, consider finding another question by clicking on a related tag, or re-searching the question page.\\n2. Basic Formatting and Best Practices\\n2-1. Press Ctrl+K to toggle indenting as code.\\nUsing the escaped block (<pre><code>), your text will include a grey block of about 4 indented spaces before a new line. The blocks here prevent your code from automatically running in the comments.\\n2-2. Press Ctrl+I (Italics) or Ctrl+B (Bold) to format your text.\\nThis is useful for putting emphasis on specific areas of your text.\\n2-3. Enter \\\"</br>\\\" to enter a line break.\\nIf you don't want all your text in one line, you can use that HTML code to break up your text.\\n2-4. Press Ctrl+L to create a link.\\nIf you don't have text selected when you press , you will be asked to create a link. If you have text selected, that text will be the link to your outside source.\\nThere are tons more formatting options, but those are the only supported formats in comments.\\n3. What to Expect\\n3-1. If you provide the best answer, it may be marked as \\\"accepted.\\\"\\nAn accepted answer is indicated by the checkmark next to the answer.\\nAn accepted answer is not a 100% guarantee to work for everyone else; it is merely an answer that worked for the original author of the question.\\nAn accepted answer gets the answerer +15 reputation and the question author +2 reputation.\\nTo answer your own question, you have to wait 48 hours after the question is posted and you will not earn any reputation bonuses.\\n3-2. Your reputation on the site fluctuates as you answer, edit, and ask questions.\\nYou can gain reputation in a multitude of ways, including having a question, answer, or article upvoted, or having an answer marked as \\\"accepted.\\\" You can also, however, lose reputation easily including having a question, answer, or article downvoted or if your post receives more than 6 spam warnings or offensive flags.\\nIn the case of a bad reputation, deleting may not help. Instead, you need to garner more positive reviews than negative ones.\\nThe higher your reputation, the more privileges you have! A user with a very high reputation score has something like a moderator's toolbox, like 25,000 gets you access to the site's analytics.\\nTips\\nIf the question is asking you to provide some examples of code, test the code in your answer before posting, as there's nothing more embarrassing than posting broken code.\\nIf you know someone who might know the answer to a particular question, you can also email, tweet, or Facebook the question directly to them.\\nWarnings\\nStack Overflow is a question-and-answer site, not a discussion forum. If you have input on something another user has posted, or want to thank somebody, leave it as a comment instead of posting a new answer.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Do you know the answer to a coding question and want to offer your advice? Stack Overflow gives you a chance to help someone by answering other people's technical questions, and this wikiHow article teaches you how to do that. This guide will also cover basic formatting and general best practices, plus what to expect when you answer a question on Stack Overflow.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Answering Questions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go to https://stackoverflow.com/questions.\", \"描述\": \"You can use any web browser, like Chrome or Safari, to visit this site and answer questions.\\nYou can sort the questions by newest, active, bountied, unanswered, and more. If you want to browse questions, you'll find more under \\\"Hot Network Questions\\\" on the right side of the page.\\nTo narrow your results, you can look for specific tags. Tags appear on the right side of the page under \\\"Related Tags.\\\" Click to see more tags.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find a question that you think you can answer well.\", \"描述\": \"Click on the title of the question (it's blue) that you want to answer. You'll be redirected to that thread.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Read the question and other answers carefully.\", \"描述\": \"Figure out if you have any additional, relevant information to add. If not, then answering is not going to be the best action for you to take since repeated or poor answers will result in you getting a negative reputation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Fill in your answer in the Answer Box.\", \"描述\": \"You can add formatting including bold, italics, links, and images to enhance your answer at the top of the box.\\nIf you don't see an answer box, your account may have been banned for lots of low-quality or poorly rated answers. To lift the ban, the Stack Overflow system must decide that you have more highly rated and positive reviews than negative ones.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Sign in or enter the information to post as a guest.\", \"描述\": \"When you're finished writing your answer, you'll need to sign in or post as a guest with some pertinent information, like your name and email address.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Click Post Your Answer.\", \"描述\": \"The page will reload and your answer should show up in the next few minutes.\\nIf you need help formatting your answer visit Stack Overflow's editing help page here: http://stackoverflow.com/editing-help\\nOnce you have posted your answer, consider finding another question by clicking on a related tag, or re-searching the question page.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Basic Formatting and Best Practices\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Press Ctrl+K to toggle indenting as code.\", \"描述\": \"Using the escaped block (<pre><code>), your text will include a grey block of about 4 indented spaces before a new line. The blocks here prevent your code from automatically running in the comments.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Press Ctrl+I (Italics) or Ctrl+B (Bold) to format your text.\", \"描述\": \"This is useful for putting emphasis on specific areas of your text.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Enter \\\"</br>\\\" to enter a line break.\", \"描述\": \"If you don't want all your text in one line, you can use that HTML code to break up your text.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Press Ctrl+L to create a link.\", \"描述\": \"If you don't have text selected when you press , you will be asked to create a link. If you have text selected, that text will be the link to your outside source.\\nThere are tons more formatting options, but those are the only supported formats in comments.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"What to Expect\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you provide the best answer, it may be marked as \\\"accepted.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"An accepted answer is indicated by the checkmark next to the answer.\\nAn accepted answer is not a 100% guarantee to work for everyone else; it is merely an answer that worked for the original author of the question.\\nAn accepted answer gets the answerer +15 reputation and the question author +2 reputation.\\nTo answer your own question, you have to wait 48 hours after the question is posted and you will not earn any reputation bonuses.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Your reputation on the site fluctuates as you answer, edit, and ask questions.\", \"描述\": \"You can gain reputation in a multitude of ways, including having a question, answer, or article upvoted, or having an answer marked as \\\"accepted.\\\" You can also, however, lose reputation easily including having a question, answer, or article downvoted or if your post receives more than 6 spam warnings or offensive flags.\\nIn the case of a bad reputation, deleting may not help. Instead, you need to garner more positive reviews than negative ones.\\nThe higher your reputation, the more privileges you have! A user with a very high reputation score has something like a moderator's toolbox, like 25,000 gets you access to the site's analytics.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If the question is asking you to provide some examples of code, test the code in your answer before posting, as there's nothing more embarrassing than posting broken code.\\n\", \"If you know someone who might know the answer to a particular question, you can also email, tweet, or Facebook the question directly to them.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Stack Overflow is a question-and-answer site, not a discussion forum. If you have input on something another user has posted, or want to thank somebody, leave it as a comment instead of posting a new answer.\\n\"]}]}}",
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1,755 | How to Answer a Request for Admissions | 1. Answering the Request for Admissions
1-1. Find your deadline for responding.
You can’t miss the deadline for responding to the requests, so you should quickly find how much time you have to respond. Look at your Rules of Civil Procedure and find the rule on requests for admission.
If you are in federal court, then Federal Rule 36 is the relevant rule.
If you are in state court, then the rule will depend on your state’s rules of civil procedure, which you can find online.
The judge might also have changed the deadline. You should look through your notes or read the local rules, which you can get from the judge’s chambers or the court’s website.
1-2. Read the requests.
Go through each request individually and write down notes beside each one. You need to admit or deny each request. In some situations, you may also claim that you can’t truthfully admit or deny because you don’t know the answer after performing a diligent search for the answer.
If part of the request is true, then you will need to identify the part that is true. Likewise, if part of the request is false, then you also will need to identify which part is false.
Don’t deny all requests in a blanket fashion. The judge could sanction you.
1-3. Format your document.
When you are ready to draft your answers, you should open a blank word processing document. Format it so that it resembles the other documents you filed in your case.
You may have to print on pleading paper, which is paper numbered down the left-hand side. Remember to leave a large enough margin to account for the numbering.
1-4. Insert the caption.
The caption includes the name of your court, the names of the parties, and the case number. It might also include the judge’s name. You can get this information from any document filed in your case. Insert the caption at the top of the page.
Also title the document. You can title it “Respondent’s Response to Plaintiff’s First Request for Admissions” or something similar.
1-5. Identify the parties.
In some states, such as California, you need to identify the parties immediately under the title. You should insert the following information:
The Propounding Party: this is the party that served the Request for Admissions.
The Responding Party: this is you.
Set Number: the number of requests.
1-6. Add your introduction.
In your introduction, briefly identify yourself. You can also include some legal boilerplate that is meant to protect you. For example, you could write:
No incidental or implied admissions are intended by these responses.
The fact that you have responded to a request does not mean you intend to waive any objection that you have to the request.
Your responses and objections are based on the information and documents currently available to you after reasonable investigation.
You reserve the right to supplement or revise your answers at a later date.
1-7. Make general objections.
Before answering each individual request, you can list general objections. These objections will apply to all of the requests. You can add them under the heading “General Objections” and number them. Common general objections include:
Respondent objects to the Requests to the extent they seek information protected by attorney-client privilege, the attorney work product doctrine, or other recognized privileges.
Respondent objects to the Requests to the extent they require search for and the production of documents or information not in Respondent’s custody, possession, or control.
Respondent objects to the Requests to the extent they seek legal conclusions or would require Respondent to reach a legal conclusion in order to prepare a response.
Respondent objects to the Requests to the extent they are argumentative, improper, incorrect, prejudicial, vague, and/or ambiguous.
Respondent objects to the Requests to the extent they seek information that Respondent cannot locate after diligent inquiry, are readily available from public sources, or are available to Counsel from another source that is more appropriate, convenient, less burdensome, and/or less expensive.
1-8. Respond to each request.
Respond in the order they were presented to you. In some states, you need to repeat the request before answering. You need to be as accurate as possible when responding to each request. Admit, deny, or claim insufficient knowledge to admit or deny. However, instead of answering certain requests, you could raise a relevant objection:
The request is compound. Each request should contain only one statement. If a requests asks you to admit two or more facts, then you should object that it is compound.
The request is vague, unintelligible, or ambiguous. You can object if you don’t understand the request. For example, “Admit you owned the gun” is vague because it does not refer to a specific gun.
The request is not reasonably calculated to lead to the discovery of relevant, admissible evidence. This is a long way of saying the request is a waste of time because the fact isn’t relevant to your case. For example, asking you to admit that you weigh 200 pounds is irrelevant if your case has nothing to do with your weight.
1-9. Sign the document.
Add a signature block at the bottom of the document. You don’t need a conclusion, so insert the signature block right after your final answer. Also add the date.
In some states, you will have to sign your answers under penalty of perjury. Read your relevant Rule of Civil Procedure to check. Sample language could read: “I declare under penalty of perjury under the laws of the State of [insert state] the foregoing answers are true and correct.”
2. Serving Your Answers
2-1. Add a certificate of service.
You need to certify that you served your answers to the other side. You should add a certificate of service on a separate piece of paper and include the person you sent the answers to as well as the delivery method (e.g., regular mail, hand delivery, fax, etc.)
Look at the certificate of service attached to the Request for Admissions to find helpful language.
2-2. Make copies.
Once you finish, you should make several copies of your answers. Keep one copy for your records. You can send the original to the other party.
There may be additional parties to your lawsuit. For example, you might be one of three defendants. If the plaintiff sends you the Request for Admissions, you should send copies of your answers to the other two defendants.
2-3. Serve your answers.
You need to serve your answers on the lawyer of the party who sent you the Request. Generally, you can serve the answers by having someone 18 or older who is not related to the case mail them for you.
In federal court, you might be able to serve the answers by filing them electronically with the court. The other parties get notified electronically when they are filed.
2-4. Get a signed proof of service.
Your server may have to fill out a Proof of Service form instead of a certificate of service. The server completes the form and then signs it in front of a notary.
You can ask the court clerk whether or not this form needs to be signed.
3. Responding After Missing the Deadline
3-1. Read the motion.
If you missed the deadline for answering the Request for Admissions, then the other side can file a motion with the judge asking that the facts be deemed admitted as conclusively proven. This motion may be called “Motion to Have Admissions Deemed Admitted” or something similar. This means that the judge will consider the admissions to be true even if they aren’t, and you won’t be able to present evidence to the contrary.
Missing the deadline for responding is a serious problem. Once you get the motion, you should immediately find your copy of the original Request for Admissions. A copy may be attached to the motion.
3-2. Meet with an attorney.
Get a referral to a qualified attorney and schedule a meeting quickly. You want to understand what your options are if you missed the deadline for responding to the Request.
You can find a qualified attorney by visiting your state or local bar association and asking for a referral. Call up the attorney and ask how much he or she charges.
If money is tight, then you can try to find legal aid. Legal aid provides free legal services to people in financial need. You can find the nearest legal aid office by visiting the Legal Services Corporation’s website and clicking on “Find Legal Aid.”
3-3. Answer the Request for Admissions.
In some states, you can prevent the judge from deeming the requests admitted if you promptly answer the Request for Admissions before the scheduled hearing date. In that situation, the hearing will fall off the judge’s calendar.
If this is an option, then quickly respond to the Request.
You may still have to pay for the other side’s court costs, such as the amount spent filing the motion. You could also be sanctioned by being ordered to pay the other side’s attorneys’ fees spent on filing the motion. Nevertheless, these are small prices to pay.
3-4. File a motion in opposition.
You can try to prevent the judge from deeming the admissions true by filing a motion explaining why you didn’t answer in a timely manner. You should set up the motion as you would other motions filed in your case. You need to give the judge a good reason why you couldn’t answer the requests for admission in time.
Read your relevant Rule of Civil Procedure. Generally, these rules allow the judge to give you a chance to respond late if the other party wouldn’t be prejudiced. You should remind the judge of that fact. For example, you could write: “Under the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure, a judge may allow a party to file a late response, provided the other side is not prejudiced. Fed. R. Civ. P. 36(b).”
Also do legal research. Many courts prefer that lawsuits be decided on the merits and not because one party was late responding to requests for admission. You should find a case from your jurisdiction which stands for this proposition and then quote from it. You can find cases in Google Scholar under “Case law.”
File the motion with the court and send a copy to the other side.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:04",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Answering the Request for Admissions\\n1-1. Find your deadline for responding.\\nYou can’t miss the deadline for responding to the requests, so you should quickly find how much time you have to respond. Look at your Rules of Civil Procedure and find the rule on requests for admission.\\nIf you are in federal court, then Federal Rule 36 is the relevant rule.\\nIf you are in state court, then the rule will depend on your state’s rules of civil procedure, which you can find online.\\nThe judge might also have changed the deadline. You should look through your notes or read the local rules, which you can get from the judge’s chambers or the court’s website.\\n1-2. Read the requests.\\nGo through each request individually and write down notes beside each one. You need to admit or deny each request. In some situations, you may also claim that you can’t truthfully admit or deny because you don’t know the answer after performing a diligent search for the answer.\\nIf part of the request is true, then you will need to identify the part that is true. Likewise, if part of the request is false, then you also will need to identify which part is false.\\nDon’t deny all requests in a blanket fashion. The judge could sanction you.\\n1-3. Format your document.\\nWhen you are ready to draft your answers, you should open a blank word processing document. Format it so that it resembles the other documents you filed in your case.\\nYou may have to print on pleading paper, which is paper numbered down the left-hand side. Remember to leave a large enough margin to account for the numbering.\\n1-4. Insert the caption.\\nThe caption includes the name of your court, the names of the parties, and the case number. It might also include the judge’s name. You can get this information from any document filed in your case. Insert the caption at the top of the page.\\nAlso title the document. You can title it “Respondent’s Response to Plaintiff’s First Request for Admissions” or something similar.\\n1-5. Identify the parties.\\nIn some states, such as California, you need to identify the parties immediately under the title. You should insert the following information: \\nThe Propounding Party: this is the party that served the Request for Admissions.\\nThe Responding Party: this is you.\\nSet Number: the number of requests.\\n1-6. Add your introduction.\\nIn your introduction, briefly identify yourself. You can also include some legal boilerplate that is meant to protect you. For example, you could write:\\nNo incidental or implied admissions are intended by these responses.\\nThe fact that you have responded to a request does not mean you intend to waive any objection that you have to the request.\\nYour responses and objections are based on the information and documents currently available to you after reasonable investigation.\\nYou reserve the right to supplement or revise your answers at a later date.\\n1-7. Make general objections.\\nBefore answering each individual request, you can list general objections. These objections will apply to all of the requests. You can add them under the heading “General Objections” and number them. Common general objections include:\\nRespondent objects to the Requests to the extent they seek information protected by attorney-client privilege, the attorney work product doctrine, or other recognized privileges.\\nRespondent objects to the Requests to the extent they require search for and the production of documents or information not in Respondent’s custody, possession, or control.\\nRespondent objects to the Requests to the extent they seek legal conclusions or would require Respondent to reach a legal conclusion in order to prepare a response.\\nRespondent objects to the Requests to the extent they are argumentative, improper, incorrect, prejudicial, vague, and/or ambiguous.\\nRespondent objects to the Requests to the extent they seek information that Respondent cannot locate after diligent inquiry, are readily available from public sources, or are available to Counsel from another source that is more appropriate, convenient, less burdensome, and/or less expensive.\\n1-8. Respond to each request.\\nRespond in the order they were presented to you. In some states, you need to repeat the request before answering. You need to be as accurate as possible when responding to each request. Admit, deny, or claim insufficient knowledge to admit or deny. However, instead of answering certain requests, you could raise a relevant objection:\\nThe request is compound. Each request should contain only one statement. If a requests asks you to admit two or more facts, then you should object that it is compound.\\nThe request is vague, unintelligible, or ambiguous. You can object if you don’t understand the request. For example, “Admit you owned the gun” is vague because it does not refer to a specific gun.\\nThe request is not reasonably calculated to lead to the discovery of relevant, admissible evidence. This is a long way of saying the request is a waste of time because the fact isn’t relevant to your case. For example, asking you to admit that you weigh 200 pounds is irrelevant if your case has nothing to do with your weight.\\n1-9. Sign the document.\\nAdd a signature block at the bottom of the document. You don’t need a conclusion, so insert the signature block right after your final answer. Also add the date.\\nIn some states, you will have to sign your answers under penalty of perjury. Read your relevant Rule of Civil Procedure to check. Sample language could read: “I declare under penalty of perjury under the laws of the State of [insert state] the foregoing answers are true and correct.”\\n2. Serving Your Answers\\n2-1. Add a certificate of service.\\nYou need to certify that you served your answers to the other side. You should add a certificate of service on a separate piece of paper and include the person you sent the answers to as well as the delivery method (e.g., regular mail, hand delivery, fax, etc.)\\nLook at the certificate of service attached to the Request for Admissions to find helpful language.\\n2-2. Make copies.\\nOnce you finish, you should make several copies of your answers. Keep one copy for your records. You can send the original to the other party.\\nThere may be additional parties to your lawsuit. For example, you might be one of three defendants. If the plaintiff sends you the Request for Admissions, you should send copies of your answers to the other two defendants.\\n2-3. Serve your answers.\\nYou need to serve your answers on the lawyer of the party who sent you the Request. Generally, you can serve the answers by having someone 18 or older who is not related to the case mail them for you.\\nIn federal court, you might be able to serve the answers by filing them electronically with the court. The other parties get notified electronically when they are filed.\\n2-4. Get a signed proof of service.\\nYour server may have to fill out a Proof of Service form instead of a certificate of service. The server completes the form and then signs it in front of a notary.\\nYou can ask the court clerk whether or not this form needs to be signed.\\n3. Responding After Missing the Deadline\\n3-1. Read the motion.\\nIf you missed the deadline for answering the Request for Admissions, then the other side can file a motion with the judge asking that the facts be deemed admitted as conclusively proven. This motion may be called “Motion to Have Admissions Deemed Admitted” or something similar. This means that the judge will consider the admissions to be true even if they aren’t, and you won’t be able to present evidence to the contrary.\\nMissing the deadline for responding is a serious problem. Once you get the motion, you should immediately find your copy of the original Request for Admissions. A copy may be attached to the motion.\\n3-2. Meet with an attorney.\\nGet a referral to a qualified attorney and schedule a meeting quickly. You want to understand what your options are if you missed the deadline for responding to the Request.\\nYou can find a qualified attorney by visiting your state or local bar association and asking for a referral. Call up the attorney and ask how much he or she charges.\\nIf money is tight, then you can try to find legal aid. Legal aid provides free legal services to people in financial need. You can find the nearest legal aid office by visiting the Legal Services Corporation’s website and clicking on “Find Legal Aid.”\\n3-3. Answer the Request for Admissions.\\nIn some states, you can prevent the judge from deeming the requests admitted if you promptly answer the Request for Admissions before the scheduled hearing date. In that situation, the hearing will fall off the judge’s calendar.\\nIf this is an option, then quickly respond to the Request.\\nYou may still have to pay for the other side’s court costs, such as the amount spent filing the motion. You could also be sanctioned by being ordered to pay the other side’s attorneys’ fees spent on filing the motion. Nevertheless, these are small prices to pay.\\n3-4. File a motion in opposition.\\nYou can try to prevent the judge from deeming the admissions true by filing a motion explaining why you didn’t answer in a timely manner. You should set up the motion as you would other motions filed in your case. You need to give the judge a good reason why you couldn’t answer the requests for admission in time.\\nRead your relevant Rule of Civil Procedure. Generally, these rules allow the judge to give you a chance to respond late if the other party wouldn’t be prejudiced. You should remind the judge of that fact. For example, you could write: “Under the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure, a judge may allow a party to file a late response, provided the other side is not prejudiced. Fed. R. Civ. P. 36(b).”\\nAlso do legal research. Many courts prefer that lawsuits be decided on the merits and not because one party was late responding to requests for admission. You should find a case from your jurisdiction which stands for this proposition and then quote from it. You can find cases in Google Scholar under “Case law.”\\n\\nFile the motion with the court and send a copy to the other side.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It is critical that you answer Request for Admissions promptly and adequately. As soon as you receive the Request, you should read it and begin drafting your answers. If you miss the deadline for responding, then the judge might deem the requests as admitted, which almost surely will lead to you losing the lawsuit. To make sure that your answers comply with the law, read your relevant Rule of Civil Procedure before beginning your answers.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Answering the Request for Admissions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find your deadline for responding.\", \"描述\": \"You can’t miss the deadline for responding to the requests, so you should quickly find how much time you have to respond. Look at your Rules of Civil Procedure and find the rule on requests for admission.\\nIf you are in federal court, then Federal Rule 36 is the relevant rule.\\nIf you are in state court, then the rule will depend on your state’s rules of civil procedure, which you can find online.\\nThe judge might also have changed the deadline. You should look through your notes or read the local rules, which you can get from the judge’s chambers or the court’s website.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Read the requests.\", \"描述\": \"Go through each request individually and write down notes beside each one. You need to admit or deny each request. In some situations, you may also claim that you can’t truthfully admit or deny because you don’t know the answer after performing a diligent search for the answer.\\nIf part of the request is true, then you will need to identify the part that is true. Likewise, if part of the request is false, then you also will need to identify which part is false.\\nDon’t deny all requests in a blanket fashion. The judge could sanction you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Format your document.\", \"描述\": \"When you are ready to draft your answers, you should open a blank word processing document. Format it so that it resembles the other documents you filed in your case.\\nYou may have to print on pleading paper, which is paper numbered down the left-hand side. Remember to leave a large enough margin to account for the numbering.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Insert the caption.\", \"描述\": \"The caption includes the name of your court, the names of the parties, and the case number. It might also include the judge’s name. You can get this information from any document filed in your case. Insert the caption at the top of the page.\\nAlso title the document. You can title it “Respondent’s Response to Plaintiff’s First Request for Admissions” or something similar.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Identify the parties.\", \"描述\": \"In some states, such as California, you need to identify the parties immediately under the title. You should insert the following information: \\nThe Propounding Party: this is the party that served the Request for Admissions.\\nThe Responding Party: this is you.\\nSet Number: the number of requests.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Add your introduction.\", \"描述\": \"In your introduction, briefly identify yourself. You can also include some legal boilerplate that is meant to protect you. For example, you could write:\\nNo incidental or implied admissions are intended by these responses.\\nThe fact that you have responded to a request does not mean you intend to waive any objection that you have to the request.\\nYour responses and objections are based on the information and documents currently available to you after reasonable investigation.\\nYou reserve the right to supplement or revise your answers at a later date.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Make general objections.\", \"描述\": \"Before answering each individual request, you can list general objections. These objections will apply to all of the requests. You can add them under the heading “General Objections” and number them. Common general objections include:\\nRespondent objects to the Requests to the extent they seek information protected by attorney-client privilege, the attorney work product doctrine, or other recognized privileges.\\nRespondent objects to the Requests to the extent they require search for and the production of documents or information not in Respondent’s custody, possession, or control.\\nRespondent objects to the Requests to the extent they seek legal conclusions or would require Respondent to reach a legal conclusion in order to prepare a response.\\nRespondent objects to the Requests to the extent they are argumentative, improper, incorrect, prejudicial, vague, and/or ambiguous.\\nRespondent objects to the Requests to the extent they seek information that Respondent cannot locate after diligent inquiry, are readily available from public sources, or are available to Counsel from another source that is more appropriate, convenient, less burdensome, and/or less expensive.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Respond to each request.\", \"描述\": \"Respond in the order they were presented to you. In some states, you need to repeat the request before answering. You need to be as accurate as possible when responding to each request. Admit, deny, or claim insufficient knowledge to admit or deny. However, instead of answering certain requests, you could raise a relevant objection:\\nThe request is compound. Each request should contain only one statement. If a requests asks you to admit two or more facts, then you should object that it is compound.\\nThe request is vague, unintelligible, or ambiguous. You can object if you don’t understand the request. For example, “Admit you owned the gun” is vague because it does not refer to a specific gun.\\nThe request is not reasonably calculated to lead to the discovery of relevant, admissible evidence. This is a long way of saying the request is a waste of time because the fact isn’t relevant to your case. For example, asking you to admit that you weigh 200 pounds is irrelevant if your case has nothing to do with your weight.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Sign the document.\", \"描述\": \"Add a signature block at the bottom of the document. You don’t need a conclusion, so insert the signature block right after your final answer. Also add the date.\\nIn some states, you will have to sign your answers under penalty of perjury. Read your relevant Rule of Civil Procedure to check. Sample language could read: “I declare under penalty of perjury under the laws of the State of [insert state] the foregoing answers are true and correct.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Serving Your Answers\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Add a certificate of service.\", \"描述\": \"You need to certify that you served your answers to the other side. You should add a certificate of service on a separate piece of paper and include the person you sent the answers to as well as the delivery method (e.g., regular mail, hand delivery, fax, etc.)\\nLook at the certificate of service attached to the Request for Admissions to find helpful language.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make copies.\", \"描述\": \"Once you finish, you should make several copies of your answers. Keep one copy for your records. You can send the original to the other party.\\nThere may be additional parties to your lawsuit. For example, you might be one of three defendants. If the plaintiff sends you the Request for Admissions, you should send copies of your answers to the other two defendants.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Serve your answers.\", \"描述\": \"You need to serve your answers on the lawyer of the party who sent you the Request. Generally, you can serve the answers by having someone 18 or older who is not related to the case mail them for you.\\nIn federal court, you might be able to serve the answers by filing them electronically with the court. The other parties get notified electronically when they are filed.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get a signed proof of service.\", \"描述\": \"Your server may have to fill out a Proof of Service form instead of a certificate of service. The server completes the form and then signs it in front of a notary.\\nYou can ask the court clerk whether or not this form needs to be signed.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Responding After Missing the Deadline\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Read the motion.\", \"描述\": \"If you missed the deadline for answering the Request for Admissions, then the other side can file a motion with the judge asking that the facts be deemed admitted as conclusively proven. This motion may be called “Motion to Have Admissions Deemed Admitted” or something similar. This means that the judge will consider the admissions to be true even if they aren’t, and you won’t be able to present evidence to the contrary.\\nMissing the deadline for responding is a serious problem. Once you get the motion, you should immediately find your copy of the original Request for Admissions. A copy may be attached to the motion.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Meet with an attorney.\", \"描述\": \"Get a referral to a qualified attorney and schedule a meeting quickly. You want to understand what your options are if you missed the deadline for responding to the Request.\\nYou can find a qualified attorney by visiting your state or local bar association and asking for a referral. Call up the attorney and ask how much he or she charges.\\nIf money is tight, then you can try to find legal aid. Legal aid provides free legal services to people in financial need. You can find the nearest legal aid office by visiting the Legal Services Corporation’s website and clicking on “Find Legal Aid.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Answer the Request for Admissions.\", \"描述\": \"In some states, you can prevent the judge from deeming the requests admitted if you promptly answer the Request for Admissions before the scheduled hearing date. In that situation, the hearing will fall off the judge’s calendar.\\nIf this is an option, then quickly respond to the Request.\\nYou may still have to pay for the other side’s court costs, such as the amount spent filing the motion. You could also be sanctioned by being ordered to pay the other side’s attorneys’ fees spent on filing the motion. Nevertheless, these are small prices to pay.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"File a motion in opposition.\", \"描述\": \"You can try to prevent the judge from deeming the admissions true by filing a motion explaining why you didn’t answer in a timely manner. You should set up the motion as you would other motions filed in your case. You need to give the judge a good reason why you couldn’t answer the requests for admission in time.\\nRead your relevant Rule of Civil Procedure. Generally, these rules allow the judge to give you a chance to respond late if the other party wouldn’t be prejudiced. You should remind the judge of that fact. For example, you could write: “Under the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure, a judge may allow a party to file a late response, provided the other side is not prejudiced. Fed. R. Civ. P. 36(b).”\\nAlso do legal research. Many courts prefer that lawsuits be decided on the merits and not because one party was late responding to requests for admission. You should find a case from your jurisdiction which stands for this proposition and then quote from it. You can find cases in Google Scholar under “Case law.”\\n\\nFile the motion with the court and send a copy to the other side.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,756 | How to Answer a Source Question in History | 1. Reading the Question
1-1. Go through the instructions carefully.
One big mistake that people make with tests is to ignore the instructions given before a question. Make sure that you read this carefully, as it will tell you what you need to do and how to answer the question.
The instructions may advise you on how long your answer should be. For example, is the question a short-answer or a longer source evaluation? This will affect how much you need to write.
The instructions might also suggest how you use your time. For example, they may suggest you spend 5 to 10 minutes reading the sources and planning, and another 20 to 30 minutes answering the question.
Be aware of how many questions the test contains and of any time limits.
1-2. Read the test question.
Once you are sure how to answer, take your first look at the question. Read it through. This sounds simple, but you need to understand exactly what it is asking to give a solid response.
What is your task? The question might want you to identify a source or put it in historical context. Or, it might ask you to answer one or more questions on the basis of the source.
Think of the question as a second set of instructions. It is telling you what kind of info to look for when you read the source.
Read it a second or even third time – it can’t hurt! Make sure that you understand the question.
1-3. Think and plan.
Keep the question in mind. If it helps, jot down brief notes or underline parts of the question before you turn to the source. The question should guide you and may even contain hints.
For instance, a question that asks, “Read and identify the following passage,” wants you to use your background knowledge to link the source to a certain time period, place, and maybe author.
One that asks, “Evaluate source A as evidence for the rise of Communism,” is asking about usefulness and reliability. Here you will have to identify context and any biases in the source, as well as its limits as historical evidence.
A question that asks, “What does this source tell us about the effect of the American Civil War on the abolition movement?” is asking something else. You’ll need to evaluate the source, but also understand how it fits into arguments about the abolition of slavery during the Civil War.
2. Evaluating the Source
2-1. Read and annotate.
Take a first stab at the source, reading it through carefully, slowly, and thoroughly. What are your impressions? Look for any clues based on the question.
Consider annotating the source while you read. Make sure to note any points that can help you. Does the source mention events? People? Dates? Places? These are important.
Your first impressions can turn out to be right. Even if something seems obvious, or minor, write it down anyway.
2-2. Re-read the source with “W” questions.
The next step is the meat of your task and should help to generate your answer for the test. Read the source again, this time asking yourself five specific “W”-questions: who, what, when, where, and why?
Ask: who wrote the source? This is important because it can tell you about the author’s place in society, her concerns, and possible biases. Ethnicity, class, age, and sex are all important. If not obvious, you may have to guess this from clues in the text.
What is the source? It might be a diary entry, a letter, a newspaper column, or a government memo. Try to figure this out – it can tell you what message the author was trying to get across and who the intended audience was.
You may or may not have an idea of the “when.” Dates can help you. Otherwise, what sort of events or ideas does the source mention? Can you identify a time period with this context? Does the language sound current or older? This may help, too.
Answers to questions like “when,” “where” may or may not be obvious. Pay attention to any events, arguments, or ideas that the source mentions.
Why was the source written? This question may be the hardest to unpack and is just as important as factual information. A source might have a clear message. It might not. However, every author has her own point of view. Does she have an “axe to grind” or a stake in the issue?
2-3. Use “PAPER,” alternately.
Other than asking “W-questions,” you can also try the “PAPER” method. PAPER is an acronym that will guide your evaluation of the sources, and covers much of the same ground as before.
“P” stands for purpose: what is the purpose of the author in creating the source? Who was she and what was her place in society? Does she make a claim? What is at stake for her?
“A” stands for argument. What is the author’s argument, or the strategy that she uses to reach her purpose? Who is her intended audience? Is she reliable?
“P” stands for presuppositions and values. What are the values in the source? Are they different or similar to our own? Is there anything that we might not agree with, but that the source’s audience would have accepted?
“E” stands for “epistemology.” This word means a way of knowing something. Try to evaluate the source’s “truth content.” What information does the author reveal? Does she make a claim that is her own interpretation? How does she support her arguments?
“R” stands for relate. Lastly, relate the source to what you know about the bigger context. How does it fit into what you know about the period and its history?
2-4. Review the source’s usefulness.
All sources have uses and, apart from facts, can tell us about the perspectives of a person or group of people. That said, they also have blind-spots, agendas, and limitations. The final thing you’ll want to do is assess the source for its uses and limitations.
You’ve identified the author, her context, her motive, and her message. Now you have to bring these to bear on a bigger question: “So what?” What is the greater significance of the source?
Ask yourself what the source says about its context. Does it confirm or contradict what you know about the period? Does it engage with an important political debate, for example? Does it show the perspective of a certain group of people?
Say, for example, the source is a newspaper article about slavery. What does it illustrate about abolition and debates over slavery at the time of the Civil War? Is it written from the perspective of someone who supports or disagrees with slavery? A newspaper article can provide clues about the nature of society, or it could be propaganda.
Or, say the source is an government memo from the 1960s. Does it help us understand what was going on then, maybe about the Vietnam or Cold Wars? Does the source agree with or conflict known information about that time period? If the memo wasn’t meant to be disclosed, it could provide factual, reliable data. If it was meant to be disclosed, it could be written to manipulate the public.
3. Giving a Solid Answer
3-1. Answer the question directly.
Another key to writing a good test answer is to be direct. Don’t waste time on words that are off-topic. Start with a point that gets to the heart of the question (one mark gained, well done!).
Begin with a sentence that addresses the prompt. If you are supposed to identify the source, you might start by writing “This source was produced by…”
If prompted to evaluate a source’s usefulness, you might start with something like “This source shows us that…” or “This source is useful because it demonstrates that…”
Keep the answer focused! Adding as much material as you can will not always get you a better mark. In fact, unrelated or off-topic facts may earn you less points.
3-2. Find documentation to support your answer.
Always be ready to support your points with proof from the source, either a direct quotation, a fact or description, or part of the image if the source is visual.
Why do you have to document? Because your teacher is not just looking for a correct answer but also to see that you understand the answer. This is what documentation shows.
To substantiate a point, you might say, “To show this, the source depicts…” or “This is clear because the source says that…”
Be as specific as you can when offering documentation. Point to specific facts, arguments, and ideas.
After offering one or two examples, you can move on to your next point, i.e. “This source also suggests that…”
3-3. Begin with the strongest evidence.
Try to plan your answer in order of importance – that is, start with the most important material. This is usually your main point or thesis statement, which is the thrust of your answer to the question. Lesser, supporting points follow after that.
A good structure for simple IDs is to state (in two or three sentences) who, what, when, where, and why. End your answer with source’s bigger significance, i.e. “It is important because it shows us that…”
You will need to aim bigger for essays, perhaps a few paragraphs. A good structure for this is to start with a thesis, and then add a paragraph for each supporting point. Make sure to follow the initial instructions for length.
3-4. Explain why the source is important or valuable.
A good short-answer or essay, including a historical source evaluation, means more than just facts. Your teacher wants to see that you can show your grasp of the facts but at the same time put them into a larger picture.
Think of it this way. Who, what, where, when, and why are important. But the most important thing is to address the “So, what?” Explain why and how the facts matter. Show how the source in question matters.
For example, how does the source highlight major historical debates or events? Does it add to our knowledge of these developments? Does it change them? How?
3-5. Make good use of time.
Keep in mind that you may only have a limited period to take the test. You will need to watch the clock. Try not to spend too much effort on a single source question, or even a single part of a question.
You might decide on a time limit for yourself for each question. Stick to it. Otherwise, you might be unable to finish other questions or the test itself.
Don’t write more than you need to or be afraid to move on. Again, manage your time and effort so that you can finish the rest of the exam.
Try not to worry too much about style. Teachers usually don’t hold grammar and style against you during a test. Don’t labor over your word choice and only rewrite passages if you have left-over time.
Tips
Read the instructions to see how much you are expected to write.
Keep an eye on the clock!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:04",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Reading the Question\\n1-1. Go through the instructions carefully.\\nOne big mistake that people make with tests is to ignore the instructions given before a question. Make sure that you read this carefully, as it will tell you what you need to do and how to answer the question.\\nThe instructions may advise you on how long your answer should be. For example, is the question a short-answer or a longer source evaluation? This will affect how much you need to write.\\nThe instructions might also suggest how you use your time. For example, they may suggest you spend 5 to 10 minutes reading the sources and planning, and another 20 to 30 minutes answering the question.\\nBe aware of how many questions the test contains and of any time limits.\\n1-2. Read the test question.\\nOnce you are sure how to answer, take your first look at the question. Read it through. This sounds simple, but you need to understand exactly what it is asking to give a solid response.\\nWhat is your task? The question might want you to identify a source or put it in historical context. Or, it might ask you to answer one or more questions on the basis of the source.\\nThink of the question as a second set of instructions. It is telling you what kind of info to look for when you read the source.\\nRead it a second or even third time – it can’t hurt! Make sure that you understand the question.\\n1-3. Think and plan.\\nKeep the question in mind. If it helps, jot down brief notes or underline parts of the question before you turn to the source. The question should guide you and may even contain hints.\\nFor instance, a question that asks, “Read and identify the following passage,” wants you to use your background knowledge to link the source to a certain time period, place, and maybe author.\\nOne that asks, “Evaluate source A as evidence for the rise of Communism,” is asking about usefulness and reliability. Here you will have to identify context and any biases in the source, as well as its limits as historical evidence.\\nA question that asks, “What does this source tell us about the effect of the American Civil War on the abolition movement?” is asking something else. You’ll need to evaluate the source, but also understand how it fits into arguments about the abolition of slavery during the Civil War.\\n2. Evaluating the Source\\n2-1. Read and annotate.\\nTake a first stab at the source, reading it through carefully, slowly, and thoroughly. What are your impressions? Look for any clues based on the question.\\nConsider annotating the source while you read. Make sure to note any points that can help you. Does the source mention events? People? Dates? Places? These are important.\\nYour first impressions can turn out to be right. Even if something seems obvious, or minor, write it down anyway.\\n2-2. Re-read the source with “W” questions.\\nThe next step is the meat of your task and should help to generate your answer for the test. Read the source again, this time asking yourself five specific “W”-questions: who, what, when, where, and why?\\nAsk: who wrote the source? This is important because it can tell you about the author’s place in society, her concerns, and possible biases. Ethnicity, class, age, and sex are all important. If not obvious, you may have to guess this from clues in the text.\\nWhat is the source? It might be a diary entry, a letter, a newspaper column, or a government memo. Try to figure this out – it can tell you what message the author was trying to get across and who the intended audience was.\\nYou may or may not have an idea of the “when.” Dates can help you. Otherwise, what sort of events or ideas does the source mention? Can you identify a time period with this context? Does the language sound current or older? This may help, too.\\nAnswers to questions like “when,” “where” may or may not be obvious. Pay attention to any events, arguments, or ideas that the source mentions.\\nWhy was the source written? This question may be the hardest to unpack and is just as important as factual information. A source might have a clear message. It might not. However, every author has her own point of view. Does she have an “axe to grind” or a stake in the issue?\\n2-3. Use “PAPER,” alternately.\\nOther than asking “W-questions,” you can also try the “PAPER” method. PAPER is an acronym that will guide your evaluation of the sources, and covers much of the same ground as before.\\n“P” stands for purpose: what is the purpose of the author in creating the source? Who was she and what was her place in society? Does she make a claim? What is at stake for her?\\n“A” stands for argument. What is the author’s argument, or the strategy that she uses to reach her purpose? Who is her intended audience? Is she reliable?\\n“P” stands for presuppositions and values. What are the values in the source? Are they different or similar to our own? Is there anything that we might not agree with, but that the source’s audience would have accepted?\\n“E” stands for “epistemology.” This word means a way of knowing something. Try to evaluate the source’s “truth content.” What information does the author reveal? Does she make a claim that is her own interpretation? How does she support her arguments?\\n“R” stands for relate. Lastly, relate the source to what you know about the bigger context. How does it fit into what you know about the period and its history?\\n2-4. Review the source’s usefulness.\\nAll sources have uses and, apart from facts, can tell us about the perspectives of a person or group of people. That said, they also have blind-spots, agendas, and limitations. The final thing you’ll want to do is assess the source for its uses and limitations.\\nYou’ve identified the author, her context, her motive, and her message. Now you have to bring these to bear on a bigger question: “So what?” What is the greater significance of the source?\\nAsk yourself what the source says about its context. Does it confirm or contradict what you know about the period? Does it engage with an important political debate, for example? Does it show the perspective of a certain group of people?\\nSay, for example, the source is a newspaper article about slavery. What does it illustrate about abolition and debates over slavery at the time of the Civil War? Is it written from the perspective of someone who supports or disagrees with slavery? A newspaper article can provide clues about the nature of society, or it could be propaganda.\\nOr, say the source is an government memo from the 1960s. Does it help us understand what was going on then, maybe about the Vietnam or Cold Wars? Does the source agree with or conflict known information about that time period? If the memo wasn’t meant to be disclosed, it could provide factual, reliable data. If it was meant to be disclosed, it could be written to manipulate the public.\\n3. Giving a Solid Answer\\n3-1. Answer the question directly.\\nAnother key to writing a good test answer is to be direct. Don’t waste time on words that are off-topic. Start with a point that gets to the heart of the question (one mark gained, well done!).\\nBegin with a sentence that addresses the prompt. If you are supposed to identify the source, you might start by writing “This source was produced by…”\\nIf prompted to evaluate a source’s usefulness, you might start with something like “This source shows us that…” or “This source is useful because it demonstrates that…”\\nKeep the answer focused! Adding as much material as you can will not always get you a better mark. In fact, unrelated or off-topic facts may earn you less points.\\n3-2. Find documentation to support your answer.\\nAlways be ready to support your points with proof from the source, either a direct quotation, a fact or description, or part of the image if the source is visual.\\nWhy do you have to document? Because your teacher is not just looking for a correct answer but also to see that you understand the answer. This is what documentation shows.\\nTo substantiate a point, you might say, “To show this, the source depicts…” or “This is clear because the source says that…”\\nBe as specific as you can when offering documentation. Point to specific facts, arguments, and ideas.\\nAfter offering one or two examples, you can move on to your next point, i.e. “This source also suggests that…”\\n3-3. Begin with the strongest evidence.\\nTry to plan your answer in order of importance – that is, start with the most important material. This is usually your main point or thesis statement, which is the thrust of your answer to the question. Lesser, supporting points follow after that.\\nA good structure for simple IDs is to state (in two or three sentences) who, what, when, where, and why. End your answer with source’s bigger significance, i.e. “It is important because it shows us that…”\\nYou will need to aim bigger for essays, perhaps a few paragraphs. A good structure for this is to start with a thesis, and then add a paragraph for each supporting point. Make sure to follow the initial instructions for length.\\n3-4. Explain why the source is important or valuable.\\nA good short-answer or essay, including a historical source evaluation, means more than just facts. Your teacher wants to see that you can show your grasp of the facts but at the same time put them into a larger picture.\\nThink of it this way. Who, what, where, when, and why are important. But the most important thing is to address the “So, what?” Explain why and how the facts matter. Show how the source in question matters.\\nFor example, how does the source highlight major historical debates or events? Does it add to our knowledge of these developments? Does it change them? How?\\n3-5. Make good use of time.\\nKeep in mind that you may only have a limited period to take the test. You will need to watch the clock. Try not to spend too much effort on a single source question, or even a single part of a question.\\nYou might decide on a time limit for yourself for each question. Stick to it. Otherwise, you might be unable to finish other questions or the test itself.\\nDon’t write more than you need to or be afraid to move on. Again, manage your time and effort so that you can finish the rest of the exam.\\nTry not to worry too much about style. Teachers usually don’t hold grammar and style against you during a test. Don’t labor over your word choice and only rewrite passages if you have left-over time.\\nTips\\nRead the instructions to see how much you are expected to write.\\nKeep an eye on the clock!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"History tests often ask questions about sources—writing or images that help to shed light on a historical period. Although these questions are common, they are not always easy to answer. To get a good mark, you’ll have to understand exactly what the question is asking, know how to evaluate the historical source, and give a solid, well-crafted answer.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Reading the Question\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go through the instructions carefully.\", \"描述\": \"One big mistake that people make with tests is to ignore the instructions given before a question. Make sure that you read this carefully, as it will tell you what you need to do and how to answer the question.\\nThe instructions may advise you on how long your answer should be. For example, is the question a short-answer or a longer source evaluation? This will affect how much you need to write.\\nThe instructions might also suggest how you use your time. For example, they may suggest you spend 5 to 10 minutes reading the sources and planning, and another 20 to 30 minutes answering the question.\\nBe aware of how many questions the test contains and of any time limits.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Read the test question.\", \"描述\": \"Once you are sure how to answer, take your first look at the question. Read it through. This sounds simple, but you need to understand exactly what it is asking to give a solid response.\\nWhat is your task? The question might want you to identify a source or put it in historical context. Or, it might ask you to answer one or more questions on the basis of the source.\\nThink of the question as a second set of instructions. It is telling you what kind of info to look for when you read the source.\\nRead it a second or even third time – it can’t hurt! Make sure that you understand the question.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Think and plan.\", \"描述\": \"Keep the question in mind. If it helps, jot down brief notes or underline parts of the question before you turn to the source. The question should guide you and may even contain hints.\\nFor instance, a question that asks, “Read and identify the following passage,” wants you to use your background knowledge to link the source to a certain time period, place, and maybe author.\\nOne that asks, “Evaluate source A as evidence for the rise of Communism,” is asking about usefulness and reliability. Here you will have to identify context and any biases in the source, as well as its limits as historical evidence.\\nA question that asks, “What does this source tell us about the effect of the American Civil War on the abolition movement?” is asking something else. You’ll need to evaluate the source, but also understand how it fits into arguments about the abolition of slavery during the Civil War.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Evaluating the Source\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Read and annotate.\", \"描述\": \"Take a first stab at the source, reading it through carefully, slowly, and thoroughly. What are your impressions? Look for any clues based on the question.\\nConsider annotating the source while you read. Make sure to note any points that can help you. Does the source mention events? People? Dates? Places? These are important.\\nYour first impressions can turn out to be right. Even if something seems obvious, or minor, write it down anyway.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Re-read the source with “W” questions.\", \"描述\": \"The next step is the meat of your task and should help to generate your answer for the test. Read the source again, this time asking yourself five specific “W”-questions: who, what, when, where, and why?\\nAsk: who wrote the source? This is important because it can tell you about the author’s place in society, her concerns, and possible biases. Ethnicity, class, age, and sex are all important. If not obvious, you may have to guess this from clues in the text.\\nWhat is the source? It might be a diary entry, a letter, a newspaper column, or a government memo. Try to figure this out – it can tell you what message the author was trying to get across and who the intended audience was.\\nYou may or may not have an idea of the “when.” Dates can help you. Otherwise, what sort of events or ideas does the source mention? Can you identify a time period with this context? Does the language sound current or older? This may help, too.\\nAnswers to questions like “when,” “where” may or may not be obvious. Pay attention to any events, arguments, or ideas that the source mentions.\\nWhy was the source written? This question may be the hardest to unpack and is just as important as factual information. A source might have a clear message. It might not. However, every author has her own point of view. Does she have an “axe to grind” or a stake in the issue?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use “PAPER,” alternately.\", \"描述\": \"Other than asking “W-questions,” you can also try the “PAPER” method. PAPER is an acronym that will guide your evaluation of the sources, and covers much of the same ground as before.\\n“P” stands for purpose: what is the purpose of the author in creating the source? Who was she and what was her place in society? Does she make a claim? What is at stake for her?\\n“A” stands for argument. What is the author’s argument, or the strategy that she uses to reach her purpose? Who is her intended audience? Is she reliable?\\n“P” stands for presuppositions and values. What are the values in the source? Are they different or similar to our own? Is there anything that we might not agree with, but that the source’s audience would have accepted?\\n“E” stands for “epistemology.” This word means a way of knowing something. Try to evaluate the source’s “truth content.” What information does the author reveal? Does she make a claim that is her own interpretation? How does she support her arguments?\\n“R” stands for relate. Lastly, relate the source to what you know about the bigger context. How does it fit into what you know about the period and its history?\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Review the source’s usefulness.\", \"描述\": \"All sources have uses and, apart from facts, can tell us about the perspectives of a person or group of people. That said, they also have blind-spots, agendas, and limitations. The final thing you’ll want to do is assess the source for its uses and limitations.\\nYou’ve identified the author, her context, her motive, and her message. Now you have to bring these to bear on a bigger question: “So what?” What is the greater significance of the source?\\nAsk yourself what the source says about its context. Does it confirm or contradict what you know about the period? Does it engage with an important political debate, for example? Does it show the perspective of a certain group of people?\\nSay, for example, the source is a newspaper article about slavery. What does it illustrate about abolition and debates over slavery at the time of the Civil War? Is it written from the perspective of someone who supports or disagrees with slavery? A newspaper article can provide clues about the nature of society, or it could be propaganda.\\nOr, say the source is an government memo from the 1960s. Does it help us understand what was going on then, maybe about the Vietnam or Cold Wars? Does the source agree with or conflict known information about that time period? If the memo wasn’t meant to be disclosed, it could provide factual, reliable data. If it was meant to be disclosed, it could be written to manipulate the public.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Giving a Solid Answer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Answer the question directly.\", \"描述\": \"Another key to writing a good test answer is to be direct. Don’t waste time on words that are off-topic. Start with a point that gets to the heart of the question (one mark gained, well done!).\\nBegin with a sentence that addresses the prompt. If you are supposed to identify the source, you might start by writing “This source was produced by…”\\nIf prompted to evaluate a source’s usefulness, you might start with something like “This source shows us that…” or “This source is useful because it demonstrates that…”\\nKeep the answer focused! Adding as much material as you can will not always get you a better mark. In fact, unrelated or off-topic facts may earn you less points.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find documentation to support your answer.\", \"描述\": \"Always be ready to support your points with proof from the source, either a direct quotation, a fact or description, or part of the image if the source is visual.\\nWhy do you have to document? Because your teacher is not just looking for a correct answer but also to see that you understand the answer. This is what documentation shows.\\nTo substantiate a point, you might say, “To show this, the source depicts…” or “This is clear because the source says that…”\\nBe as specific as you can when offering documentation. Point to specific facts, arguments, and ideas.\\nAfter offering one or two examples, you can move on to your next point, i.e. “This source also suggests that…”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Begin with the strongest evidence.\", \"描述\": \"Try to plan your answer in order of importance – that is, start with the most important material. This is usually your main point or thesis statement, which is the thrust of your answer to the question. Lesser, supporting points follow after that.\\nA good structure for simple IDs is to state (in two or three sentences) who, what, when, where, and why. End your answer with source’s bigger significance, i.e. “It is important because it shows us that…”\\nYou will need to aim bigger for essays, perhaps a few paragraphs. A good structure for this is to start with a thesis, and then add a paragraph for each supporting point. Make sure to follow the initial instructions for length.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Explain why the source is important or valuable.\", \"描述\": \"A good short-answer or essay, including a historical source evaluation, means more than just facts. Your teacher wants to see that you can show your grasp of the facts but at the same time put them into a larger picture.\\nThink of it this way. Who, what, where, when, and why are important. But the most important thing is to address the “So, what?” Explain why and how the facts matter. Show how the source in question matters.\\nFor example, how does the source highlight major historical debates or events? Does it add to our knowledge of these developments? Does it change them? How?\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make good use of time.\", \"描述\": \"Keep in mind that you may only have a limited period to take the test. You will need to watch the clock. Try not to spend too much effort on a single source question, or even a single part of a question.\\nYou might decide on a time limit for yourself for each question. Stick to it. Otherwise, you might be unable to finish other questions or the test itself.\\nDon’t write more than you need to or be afraid to move on. Again, manage your time and effort so that you can finish the rest of the exam.\\nTry not to worry too much about style. Teachers usually don’t hold grammar and style against you during a test. Don’t labor over your word choice and only rewrite passages if you have left-over time.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Read the instructions to see how much you are expected to write.\\n\", \"Keep an eye on the clock!\\n\"]}]}}",
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1,757 | How to Answer a Summons Without an Attorney | 1. Evaluating the Complaint
1-1. Determine how long you have to respond.
The summons you receive will tell you how many days you have to respond to the lawsuit. If you don't file a written answer in court within that deadline, the person who sued you can get a default judgment for everything they've asked for, even if some of the statements they made aren't true. While the deadline differs among states and depends on the type of lawsuit filed, it's typically at least 15 days, starting on the date you received the summons and complaint.
The number of days listed on the summons are calendar days, not business days. If the deadline date falls on a weekend or holiday, you typically need to file your answer on the business day immediately before that day.
Even if you have an entire month to file your answer, start on it immediately. You never know what might happen in the meantime and you don't want to miss filing your answer.
1-2. Read the complaint carefully to figure out who's suing you and why.
The complaint lists the name of the person or company suing you as the plaintiff. It then lists factual allegations the plaintiff is making against you and asks the court for a specific amount of money, or to order other actions. You will need to respond to each of these allegations in your answer.
The allegations will be listed in numbered paragraphs. Take each numbered paragraph separately and ask yourself if the fact is true or not. If it's not, make note of what's wrong about it. This is all information that you'll need to include in your answer.
If you have documents that might prove that one of the allegations isn't true, make a note of it. You can attach that document to your answer to support your argument.
1-3. Identify the court where the lawsuit was filed.
The name and location of the court where the lawsuit was filed are listed on the summons. Find out where the court is. If it's far away from you, go to the website for your state's courts and see if there's a closer court where the plaintiff could have sued you.
If the court is located far away from you, it may not have jurisdiction over you. Even if it does, there may be a more convenient location where the case could be heard. For example, if someone is suing you over property damage and injuries from a car accident, they can sue you in the county where the car accident occurred. However, if you happened to be visiting family on the other side of the state when the accident occurred, you may be able to get the case moved to a court closer to you.
On the website for your state's courts, you can also find out what types of cases that court usually hears. If the plaintiff is suing you for something different, you may have an argument that the court doesn't have jurisdiction over the claim. This is unlikely, however, because state courts typically have very broad jurisdiction. That doesn't mean you shouldn't look into it, though, just to be sure.
1-4. Decide if you have any claims against the person who sued you.
Often, an incident that gives rise to a lawsuit results in damages on both sides. If the person who sued you owes you any money, you can list those in your answer.
For example, if someone sued you because the two of you got into a car accident, you may have had damage to your car and injuries as well. You can ask the court to make the plaintiff pay you for the damages you sustained as a result of the wreck.
Counterclaims may also occur in contract situations. For example, if you have a contractor sue you because you didn't pay them for work they did, you might have a counterclaim that the work they did was substandard and you had to hire another contractor to redo their work.
1-5. Gather documents related to the lawsuit's allegations.
If you listed any documents that might prove that any of the lawsuit's allegations are not true, find those documents so you can attach them to your answer. Make at least 3 copies of any document you plan to attach to your answer. Keep the originals for your own records.
If you know of the existence of documents but don't have any way of getting them, write down who might have them. If the lawsuit goes to trial, you can have the court order whoever has those documents to produce them.
If you're making claims against the person who sued you, see if you have documents that would support your claims as well.
1-6. Talk to the person who sued you and negotiate a settlement if possible.
It may be that you read over the complaint and realized that the plaintiff was totally in the right. In that situation, it's probably better for you to try to work out a settlement with the person, rather than drawing out the process through the courts.
Even if you think you could successfully fight the lawsuit, you could also decide that it's not in your best interests to do so – especially if the plaintiff is asking for a relatively small amount of money.
While it's fine to call up the plaintiff (or their attorney), any offer to settle the lawsuit should be made in writing. Send them a brief letter outlining your settlement offer.
2. Drafting Your Answer
2-1. Search for forms or templates to format your answer.
An attorney would draft an answer from scratch. If you're not going to hire an attorney, however, many courts have forms or templates that you can use for your answer. There may even have been one included with your summons and complaint. Check the website of your state's courts to see if there are forms available.
Legal aid organizations in your state may also have forms available that you can use if you want to answer a summons without an attorney. Go to https://www.lsc.gov/what-legal-aid/find-legal-aid to find legal aid offices near you and get links for their websites.
There may also be form banks at the local public law library, typically located in your local courthouse. Call the court clerk at the number listed on your summons for more information.
2-2. Copy the heading from the complaint if you don't have a form.
The top third of the complaint lists the name and location of the court, the "style" of the case (the names of the parties to the case), and the case number. The particular format of this heading should be copied exactly. It will be exactly the same for every court document filed in every case that court hears.
Even the spacing of the heading can be important. However, don't worry if you can't get it exactly right. Just get as close as possible. Make sure you've copied all the same information in roughly the same area of the page.
2-3. Admit or deny each of the facts listed in the complaint.
Follow the same formatting as the complaint, numbering your paragraphs. For each numbered paragraph in the complaint, type "Admitted" if you admit the allegation or "Denied" if you deny the allegation. If you don't have enough information to know whether the fact is true or false, respond with "Lack enough information to respond to Plaintiff's allegations."
Don't guess when you respond to any of the allegations. Any allegation that you admit is something the plaintiff doesn't have to prove in court. If you deny an allegation or say you lack enough information, they will be required to prove in court that the allegation is true.
You may find that some allegations are partially true and partially false. In this case, respond by writing "Admitted in part and denied in part." Then include a short sentence regarding the part of the allegation that you deny.
2-4. Include supporting documents as "Exhibits" to your answer.
If you gathered any documents to support any of the statements you made in your answer, you can attach them to the answer as "Exhibits" and refer to them in your answer. Exhibits are typically numbered sequentially in the order they are first mentioned in your answer.
You can write the number of the exhibit directly on the copy of the document, just make sure you're not covering up anything important.
When you refer to exhibits in your answer, write something like "See Exhibit 1."
2-5. List any defenses or counterclaims you have.
After you've responded to each of the allegations, include any defenses you might want to raise. Keep in mind you don't necessarily have to pursue all of these defenses. However, you may lose the right to claim some of them if you haven't mentioned them in your answer. After your defenses, describe any counterclaims you have against the plaintiff.
When you discuss your counterclaim, you're required to ask the court for a specific amount of money. Be realistic with your valuation. Even if you're able to prove the facts of your counterclaim, the court will only award the amount of money that would "make you whole." For example, if you incurred $5,000 in expenses to repair damages caused by the plaintiff, the judge would not award you $15,000 just because you seem like a nice person.
2-6. Close with a "wherefore" clause asking the court to dismiss the lawsuit.
The defendant's "wherefore" clause is usually similar for any answer. However, the specific wording may depend on what you claimed in your answer and whether you had any counterclaims.
For example, if you denied all or most of the plaintiff's allegations, your clause might read "Wherefore Defendant seeks dismissal of Plaintiff's complaint and that Plaintiff recovers nothing."
If you have counterclaims, you might also include a statement that the court "award Defendant such other and further relief as the Court deems just and equitable."
2-7. Sign and date your answer.
After you've finished drafting your answer, proofread it carefully. You might even want to have someone else look over it for you. Any typos or other errors could have legal significance and greatly impact your case. When you're satisfied that your answer is error-free, print it and sign it in blue or black ink. Write the date that you plan to file it with the clerk as the date it was signed.
After signing your answer, make at least 2 copies. You'll need one copy for your records and another to deliver to the plaintiff. If there are other people involved in the case, you'll need a copy for each of them as well.
2-8. Complete a certificate of service form.
The clerk's office will have certificate of service forms. You can also typically download them from the website for your state's courts. The certificate of service form is the same for every case filed in court.
On the certificate of service form, write the name and address of the plaintiff (or their attorney) as it appears on your summons. This is where you'll have to deliver a copy of your answer after it's filed.
3. Filing Your Answer
3-1. Contact the clerk's office of the court where the lawsuit was filed.
You'll find a phone number and address for the clerk's office on your summons. The clerk will be able to tell you exactly what documents you should file with your answer and whether any filing fee is required.
The clerk will also tell you how to file your answer. In most cases, it's best to take your original answer and copies to the clerk's office in person. However, you may also be able to file electronically online or mail your documents to the clerk's office. Some courts only allow electronic filing.
3-2. Take your written answer to the clerk's office.
If you've decided to take your answer to the clerk's office in person for filing, bring your originals plus at least 2 copies. The clerk will take your documents and stamp each set of papers "filed" with the date. They will then give the copies back to you. One copy is for you to keep. The other copy you're responsible for delivering to the plaintiff (or their attorney).
If you're filing electronically, keep your copy of any receipt that's generated indicating that your documents have been filed.
If you're mailing your documents to the clerk's office, use certified mail with return receipt requested. When you get the card back with the date the documents were received by the clerk's office, you'll have proof of the date of filing. Double-check and make sure it's before the date of your deadline.
3-3. Pay the filing fees if necessary.
Typically, you don't have to pay any filing fees simply to answer a complaint. However, if you have a counterclaim against the person who is suing you, there may be fees involved. The court clerk will tell you how much the fees are and what method of payment is accepted.
Filing fees vary widely among courts and may depend on the value of your case. However, filing fees will rarely be more than $500.
If you have a low income and can't afford the filing fees, ask the court clerk for a fee waiver application. You'll have to provide information about your income and assets. Courts waive filing fees for litigants with income and assets below a certain threshold. If you receive government benefits, such as SNAP or TANF, you likely automatically qualify for a fee waiver.
3-4. Have your written answer delivered to the person who sued you.
You are responsible for "serving" the plaintiff with your answer to their lawsuit. However, it's typically not necessary to hire a sheriff's deputy or private process-serving company to hand-deliver the documents to them. Usually, you can mail the documents using certified mail with return receipt requested. When you get the card back indicating that the documents have been delivered, that constitutes proof that the plaintiff was served with your documents.
The name and address of the person you need to send your answer to will be listed on your summons. It will either be the person who sued you or their attorney.
If the plaintiff hired an attorney, make sure the documents go to them and not to the plaintiff directly. If you need to communicate with the plaintiff in any way, do so only through their attorney.
Warnings
This article discusses how to answer a summons without an attorney in the US. If you live in another country, the process may be different. Consult a local public legal assistance organization to find out more.
While it's possible to answer a summons without an attorney, hiring an attorney to represent you is almost always a better choice. If you can't afford an attorney, contact your state's bar association to find out what free and reduced-cost legal assistance options are available in your area.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Evaluating the Complaint\\n1-1. Determine how long you have to respond.\\nThe summons you receive will tell you how many days you have to respond to the lawsuit. If you don't file a written answer in court within that deadline, the person who sued you can get a default judgment for everything they've asked for, even if some of the statements they made aren't true. While the deadline differs among states and depends on the type of lawsuit filed, it's typically at least 15 days, starting on the date you received the summons and complaint.\\nThe number of days listed on the summons are calendar days, not business days. If the deadline date falls on a weekend or holiday, you typically need to file your answer on the business day immediately before that day.\\nEven if you have an entire month to file your answer, start on it immediately. You never know what might happen in the meantime and you don't want to miss filing your answer.\\n1-2. Read the complaint carefully to figure out who's suing you and why.\\nThe complaint lists the name of the person or company suing you as the plaintiff. It then lists factual allegations the plaintiff is making against you and asks the court for a specific amount of money, or to order other actions. You will need to respond to each of these allegations in your answer.\\nThe allegations will be listed in numbered paragraphs. Take each numbered paragraph separately and ask yourself if the fact is true or not. If it's not, make note of what's wrong about it. This is all information that you'll need to include in your answer.\\nIf you have documents that might prove that one of the allegations isn't true, make a note of it. You can attach that document to your answer to support your argument.\\n1-3. Identify the court where the lawsuit was filed.\\nThe name and location of the court where the lawsuit was filed are listed on the summons. Find out where the court is. If it's far away from you, go to the website for your state's courts and see if there's a closer court where the plaintiff could have sued you.\\nIf the court is located far away from you, it may not have jurisdiction over you. Even if it does, there may be a more convenient location where the case could be heard. For example, if someone is suing you over property damage and injuries from a car accident, they can sue you in the county where the car accident occurred. However, if you happened to be visiting family on the other side of the state when the accident occurred, you may be able to get the case moved to a court closer to you.\\nOn the website for your state's courts, you can also find out what types of cases that court usually hears. If the plaintiff is suing you for something different, you may have an argument that the court doesn't have jurisdiction over the claim. This is unlikely, however, because state courts typically have very broad jurisdiction. That doesn't mean you shouldn't look into it, though, just to be sure.\\n1-4. Decide if you have any claims against the person who sued you.\\nOften, an incident that gives rise to a lawsuit results in damages on both sides. If the person who sued you owes you any money, you can list those in your answer.\\nFor example, if someone sued you because the two of you got into a car accident, you may have had damage to your car and injuries as well. You can ask the court to make the plaintiff pay you for the damages you sustained as a result of the wreck.\\nCounterclaims may also occur in contract situations. For example, if you have a contractor sue you because you didn't pay them for work they did, you might have a counterclaim that the work they did was substandard and you had to hire another contractor to redo their work.\\n1-5. Gather documents related to the lawsuit's allegations.\\nIf you listed any documents that might prove that any of the lawsuit's allegations are not true, find those documents so you can attach them to your answer. Make at least 3 copies of any document you plan to attach to your answer. Keep the originals for your own records.\\nIf you know of the existence of documents but don't have any way of getting them, write down who might have them. If the lawsuit goes to trial, you can have the court order whoever has those documents to produce them.\\nIf you're making claims against the person who sued you, see if you have documents that would support your claims as well.\\n1-6. Talk to the person who sued you and negotiate a settlement if possible.\\nIt may be that you read over the complaint and realized that the plaintiff was totally in the right. In that situation, it's probably better for you to try to work out a settlement with the person, rather than drawing out the process through the courts.\\nEven if you think you could successfully fight the lawsuit, you could also decide that it's not in your best interests to do so – especially if the plaintiff is asking for a relatively small amount of money.\\nWhile it's fine to call up the plaintiff (or their attorney), any offer to settle the lawsuit should be made in writing. Send them a brief letter outlining your settlement offer.\\n2. Drafting Your Answer\\n2-1. Search for forms or templates to format your answer.\\nAn attorney would draft an answer from scratch. If you're not going to hire an attorney, however, many courts have forms or templates that you can use for your answer. There may even have been one included with your summons and complaint. Check the website of your state's courts to see if there are forms available.\\nLegal aid organizations in your state may also have forms available that you can use if you want to answer a summons without an attorney. Go to https://www.lsc.gov/what-legal-aid/find-legal-aid to find legal aid offices near you and get links for their websites.\\nThere may also be form banks at the local public law library, typically located in your local courthouse. Call the court clerk at the number listed on your summons for more information.\\n2-2. Copy the heading from the complaint if you don't have a form.\\nThe top third of the complaint lists the name and location of the court, the \\\"style\\\" of the case (the names of the parties to the case), and the case number. The particular format of this heading should be copied exactly. It will be exactly the same for every court document filed in every case that court hears.\\nEven the spacing of the heading can be important. However, don't worry if you can't get it exactly right. Just get as close as possible. Make sure you've copied all the same information in roughly the same area of the page.\\n2-3. Admit or deny each of the facts listed in the complaint.\\nFollow the same formatting as the complaint, numbering your paragraphs. For each numbered paragraph in the complaint, type \\\"Admitted\\\" if you admit the allegation or \\\"Denied\\\" if you deny the allegation. If you don't have enough information to know whether the fact is true or false, respond with \\\"Lack enough information to respond to Plaintiff's allegations.\\\"\\nDon't guess when you respond to any of the allegations. Any allegation that you admit is something the plaintiff doesn't have to prove in court. If you deny an allegation or say you lack enough information, they will be required to prove in court that the allegation is true.\\nYou may find that some allegations are partially true and partially false. In this case, respond by writing \\\"Admitted in part and denied in part.\\\" Then include a short sentence regarding the part of the allegation that you deny.\\n2-4. Include supporting documents as \\\"Exhibits\\\" to your answer.\\nIf you gathered any documents to support any of the statements you made in your answer, you can attach them to the answer as \\\"Exhibits\\\" and refer to them in your answer. Exhibits are typically numbered sequentially in the order they are first mentioned in your answer.\\nYou can write the number of the exhibit directly on the copy of the document, just make sure you're not covering up anything important.\\nWhen you refer to exhibits in your answer, write something like \\\"See Exhibit 1.\\\"\\n2-5. List any defenses or counterclaims you have.\\nAfter you've responded to each of the allegations, include any defenses you might want to raise. Keep in mind you don't necessarily have to pursue all of these defenses. However, you may lose the right to claim some of them if you haven't mentioned them in your answer. After your defenses, describe any counterclaims you have against the plaintiff.\\nWhen you discuss your counterclaim, you're required to ask the court for a specific amount of money. Be realistic with your valuation. Even if you're able to prove the facts of your counterclaim, the court will only award the amount of money that would \\\"make you whole.\\\" For example, if you incurred $5,000 in expenses to repair damages caused by the plaintiff, the judge would not award you $15,000 just because you seem like a nice person.\\n2-6. Close with a \\\"wherefore\\\" clause asking the court to dismiss the lawsuit.\\nThe defendant's \\\"wherefore\\\" clause is usually similar for any answer. However, the specific wording may depend on what you claimed in your answer and whether you had any counterclaims.\\nFor example, if you denied all or most of the plaintiff's allegations, your clause might read \\\"Wherefore Defendant seeks dismissal of Plaintiff's complaint and that Plaintiff recovers nothing.\\\"\\nIf you have counterclaims, you might also include a statement that the court \\\"award Defendant such other and further relief as the Court deems just and equitable.\\\"\\n2-7. Sign and date your answer.\\nAfter you've finished drafting your answer, proofread it carefully. You might even want to have someone else look over it for you. Any typos or other errors could have legal significance and greatly impact your case. When you're satisfied that your answer is error-free, print it and sign it in blue or black ink. Write the date that you plan to file it with the clerk as the date it was signed.\\nAfter signing your answer, make at least 2 copies. You'll need one copy for your records and another to deliver to the plaintiff. If there are other people involved in the case, you'll need a copy for each of them as well.\\n2-8. Complete a certificate of service form.\\nThe clerk's office will have certificate of service forms. You can also typically download them from the website for your state's courts. The certificate of service form is the same for every case filed in court.\\nOn the certificate of service form, write the name and address of the plaintiff (or their attorney) as it appears on your summons. This is where you'll have to deliver a copy of your answer after it's filed.\\n3. Filing Your Answer\\n3-1. Contact the clerk's office of the court where the lawsuit was filed.\\nYou'll find a phone number and address for the clerk's office on your summons. The clerk will be able to tell you exactly what documents you should file with your answer and whether any filing fee is required.\\nThe clerk will also tell you how to file your answer. In most cases, it's best to take your original answer and copies to the clerk's office in person. However, you may also be able to file electronically online or mail your documents to the clerk's office. Some courts only allow electronic filing.\\n3-2. Take your written answer to the clerk's office.\\nIf you've decided to take your answer to the clerk's office in person for filing, bring your originals plus at least 2 copies. The clerk will take your documents and stamp each set of papers \\\"filed\\\" with the date. They will then give the copies back to you. One copy is for you to keep. The other copy you're responsible for delivering to the plaintiff (or their attorney).\\nIf you're filing electronically, keep your copy of any receipt that's generated indicating that your documents have been filed.\\nIf you're mailing your documents to the clerk's office, use certified mail with return receipt requested. When you get the card back with the date the documents were received by the clerk's office, you'll have proof of the date of filing. Double-check and make sure it's before the date of your deadline.\\n3-3. Pay the filing fees if necessary.\\nTypically, you don't have to pay any filing fees simply to answer a complaint. However, if you have a counterclaim against the person who is suing you, there may be fees involved. The court clerk will tell you how much the fees are and what method of payment is accepted.\\nFiling fees vary widely among courts and may depend on the value of your case. However, filing fees will rarely be more than $500.\\nIf you have a low income and can't afford the filing fees, ask the court clerk for a fee waiver application. You'll have to provide information about your income and assets. Courts waive filing fees for litigants with income and assets below a certain threshold. If you receive government benefits, such as SNAP or TANF, you likely automatically qualify for a fee waiver.\\n3-4. Have your written answer delivered to the person who sued you.\\nYou are responsible for \\\"serving\\\" the plaintiff with your answer to their lawsuit. However, it's typically not necessary to hire a sheriff's deputy or private process-serving company to hand-deliver the documents to them. Usually, you can mail the documents using certified mail with return receipt requested. When you get the card back indicating that the documents have been delivered, that constitutes proof that the plaintiff was served with your documents.\\nThe name and address of the person you need to send your answer to will be listed on your summons. It will either be the person who sued you or their attorney.\\nIf the plaintiff hired an attorney, make sure the documents go to them and not to the plaintiff directly. If you need to communicate with the plaintiff in any way, do so only through their attorney.\\nWarnings\\nThis article discusses how to answer a summons without an attorney in the US. If you live in another country, the process may be different. Consult a local public legal assistance organization to find out more.\\nWhile it's possible to answer a summons without an attorney, hiring an attorney to represent you is almost always a better choice. If you can't afford an attorney, contact your state's bar association to find out what free and reduced-cost legal assistance options are available in your area.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you receive a summons and complaint, this typically means that you are being sued by someone. If you fail to answer, the person suing you may be able to get a default judgment against you. This means they get whatever they are asking for in their complaint. To avoid that, you can't ignore the summons and complaint. Rather, you must file a written answer with the court by the deadline stated on the summons. Generally, if you receive a summons you should contact an attorney. However, you can also answer a summons without an attorney. Most courts have templates you can use to make sure you don't leave anything out.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Evaluating the Complaint\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determine how long you have to respond.\", \"描述\": \"The summons you receive will tell you how many days you have to respond to the lawsuit. If you don't file a written answer in court within that deadline, the person who sued you can get a default judgment for everything they've asked for, even if some of the statements they made aren't true. While the deadline differs among states and depends on the type of lawsuit filed, it's typically at least 15 days, starting on the date you received the summons and complaint.\\nThe number of days listed on the summons are calendar days, not business days. If the deadline date falls on a weekend or holiday, you typically need to file your answer on the business day immediately before that day.\\nEven if you have an entire month to file your answer, start on it immediately. You never know what might happen in the meantime and you don't want to miss filing your answer.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Read the complaint carefully to figure out who's suing you and why.\", \"描述\": \"The complaint lists the name of the person or company suing you as the plaintiff. It then lists factual allegations the plaintiff is making against you and asks the court for a specific amount of money, or to order other actions. You will need to respond to each of these allegations in your answer.\\nThe allegations will be listed in numbered paragraphs. Take each numbered paragraph separately and ask yourself if the fact is true or not. If it's not, make note of what's wrong about it. This is all information that you'll need to include in your answer.\\nIf you have documents that might prove that one of the allegations isn't true, make a note of it. You can attach that document to your answer to support your argument.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Identify the court where the lawsuit was filed.\", \"描述\": \"The name and location of the court where the lawsuit was filed are listed on the summons. Find out where the court is. If it's far away from you, go to the website for your state's courts and see if there's a closer court where the plaintiff could have sued you.\\nIf the court is located far away from you, it may not have jurisdiction over you. Even if it does, there may be a more convenient location where the case could be heard. For example, if someone is suing you over property damage and injuries from a car accident, they can sue you in the county where the car accident occurred. However, if you happened to be visiting family on the other side of the state when the accident occurred, you may be able to get the case moved to a court closer to you.\\nOn the website for your state's courts, you can also find out what types of cases that court usually hears. If the plaintiff is suing you for something different, you may have an argument that the court doesn't have jurisdiction over the claim. This is unlikely, however, because state courts typically have very broad jurisdiction. That doesn't mean you shouldn't look into it, though, just to be sure.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Decide if you have any claims against the person who sued you.\", \"描述\": \"Often, an incident that gives rise to a lawsuit results in damages on both sides. If the person who sued you owes you any money, you can list those in your answer.\\nFor example, if someone sued you because the two of you got into a car accident, you may have had damage to your car and injuries as well. You can ask the court to make the plaintiff pay you for the damages you sustained as a result of the wreck.\\nCounterclaims may also occur in contract situations. For example, if you have a contractor sue you because you didn't pay them for work they did, you might have a counterclaim that the work they did was substandard and you had to hire another contractor to redo their work.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Gather documents related to the lawsuit's allegations.\", \"描述\": \"If you listed any documents that might prove that any of the lawsuit's allegations are not true, find those documents so you can attach them to your answer. Make at least 3 copies of any document you plan to attach to your answer. Keep the originals for your own records.\\nIf you know of the existence of documents but don't have any way of getting them, write down who might have them. If the lawsuit goes to trial, you can have the court order whoever has those documents to produce them.\\nIf you're making claims against the person who sued you, see if you have documents that would support your claims as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Talk to the person who sued you and negotiate a settlement if possible.\", \"描述\": \"It may be that you read over the complaint and realized that the plaintiff was totally in the right. In that situation, it's probably better for you to try to work out a settlement with the person, rather than drawing out the process through the courts.\\nEven if you think you could successfully fight the lawsuit, you could also decide that it's not in your best interests to do so – especially if the plaintiff is asking for a relatively small amount of money.\\nWhile it's fine to call up the plaintiff (or their attorney), any offer to settle the lawsuit should be made in writing. Send them a brief letter outlining your settlement offer.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Drafting Your Answer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Search for forms or templates to format your answer.\", \"描述\": \"An attorney would draft an answer from scratch. If you're not going to hire an attorney, however, many courts have forms or templates that you can use for your answer. There may even have been one included with your summons and complaint. Check the website of your state's courts to see if there are forms available.\\nLegal aid organizations in your state may also have forms available that you can use if you want to answer a summons without an attorney. Go to https://www.lsc.gov/what-legal-aid/find-legal-aid to find legal aid offices near you and get links for their websites.\\nThere may also be form banks at the local public law library, typically located in your local courthouse. Call the court clerk at the number listed on your summons for more information.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Copy the heading from the complaint if you don't have a form.\", \"描述\": \"The top third of the complaint lists the name and location of the court, the \\\"style\\\" of the case (the names of the parties to the case), and the case number. The particular format of this heading should be copied exactly. It will be exactly the same for every court document filed in every case that court hears.\\nEven the spacing of the heading can be important. However, don't worry if you can't get it exactly right. Just get as close as possible. Make sure you've copied all the same information in roughly the same area of the page.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Admit or deny each of the facts listed in the complaint.\", \"描述\": \"Follow the same formatting as the complaint, numbering your paragraphs. For each numbered paragraph in the complaint, type \\\"Admitted\\\" if you admit the allegation or \\\"Denied\\\" if you deny the allegation. If you don't have enough information to know whether the fact is true or false, respond with \\\"Lack enough information to respond to Plaintiff's allegations.\\\"\\nDon't guess when you respond to any of the allegations. Any allegation that you admit is something the plaintiff doesn't have to prove in court. If you deny an allegation or say you lack enough information, they will be required to prove in court that the allegation is true.\\nYou may find that some allegations are partially true and partially false. In this case, respond by writing \\\"Admitted in part and denied in part.\\\" Then include a short sentence regarding the part of the allegation that you deny.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Include supporting documents as \\\"Exhibits\\\" to your answer.\", \"描述\": \"If you gathered any documents to support any of the statements you made in your answer, you can attach them to the answer as \\\"Exhibits\\\" and refer to them in your answer. Exhibits are typically numbered sequentially in the order they are first mentioned in your answer.\\nYou can write the number of the exhibit directly on the copy of the document, just make sure you're not covering up anything important.\\nWhen you refer to exhibits in your answer, write something like \\\"See Exhibit 1.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"List any defenses or counterclaims you have.\", \"描述\": \"After you've responded to each of the allegations, include any defenses you might want to raise. Keep in mind you don't necessarily have to pursue all of these defenses. However, you may lose the right to claim some of them if you haven't mentioned them in your answer. After your defenses, describe any counterclaims you have against the plaintiff.\\nWhen you discuss your counterclaim, you're required to ask the court for a specific amount of money. Be realistic with your valuation. Even if you're able to prove the facts of your counterclaim, the court will only award the amount of money that would \\\"make you whole.\\\" For example, if you incurred $5,000 in expenses to repair damages caused by the plaintiff, the judge would not award you $15,000 just because you seem like a nice person.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Close with a \\\"wherefore\\\" clause asking the court to dismiss the lawsuit.\", \"描述\": \"The defendant's \\\"wherefore\\\" clause is usually similar for any answer. However, the specific wording may depend on what you claimed in your answer and whether you had any counterclaims.\\nFor example, if you denied all or most of the plaintiff's allegations, your clause might read \\\"Wherefore Defendant seeks dismissal of Plaintiff's complaint and that Plaintiff recovers nothing.\\\"\\nIf you have counterclaims, you might also include a statement that the court \\\"award Defendant such other and further relief as the Court deems just and equitable.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Sign and date your answer.\", \"描述\": \"After you've finished drafting your answer, proofread it carefully. You might even want to have someone else look over it for you. Any typos or other errors could have legal significance and greatly impact your case. When you're satisfied that your answer is error-free, print it and sign it in blue or black ink. Write the date that you plan to file it with the clerk as the date it was signed.\\nAfter signing your answer, make at least 2 copies. You'll need one copy for your records and another to deliver to the plaintiff. If there are other people involved in the case, you'll need a copy for each of them as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Complete a certificate of service form.\", \"描述\": \"The clerk's office will have certificate of service forms. You can also typically download them from the website for your state's courts. The certificate of service form is the same for every case filed in court.\\nOn the certificate of service form, write the name and address of the plaintiff (or their attorney) as it appears on your summons. This is where you'll have to deliver a copy of your answer after it's filed.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Filing Your Answer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Contact the clerk's office of the court where the lawsuit was filed.\", \"描述\": \"You'll find a phone number and address for the clerk's office on your summons. The clerk will be able to tell you exactly what documents you should file with your answer and whether any filing fee is required.\\nThe clerk will also tell you how to file your answer. In most cases, it's best to take your original answer and copies to the clerk's office in person. However, you may also be able to file electronically online or mail your documents to the clerk's office. Some courts only allow electronic filing.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take your written answer to the clerk's office.\", \"描述\": \"If you've decided to take your answer to the clerk's office in person for filing, bring your originals plus at least 2 copies. The clerk will take your documents and stamp each set of papers \\\"filed\\\" with the date. They will then give the copies back to you. One copy is for you to keep. The other copy you're responsible for delivering to the plaintiff (or their attorney).\\nIf you're filing electronically, keep your copy of any receipt that's generated indicating that your documents have been filed.\\nIf you're mailing your documents to the clerk's office, use certified mail with return receipt requested. When you get the card back with the date the documents were received by the clerk's office, you'll have proof of the date of filing. Double-check and make sure it's before the date of your deadline.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pay the filing fees if necessary.\", \"描述\": \"Typically, you don't have to pay any filing fees simply to answer a complaint. However, if you have a counterclaim against the person who is suing you, there may be fees involved. The court clerk will tell you how much the fees are and what method of payment is accepted.\\nFiling fees vary widely among courts and may depend on the value of your case. However, filing fees will rarely be more than $500.\\nIf you have a low income and can't afford the filing fees, ask the court clerk for a fee waiver application. You'll have to provide information about your income and assets. Courts waive filing fees for litigants with income and assets below a certain threshold. If you receive government benefits, such as SNAP or TANF, you likely automatically qualify for a fee waiver.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Have your written answer delivered to the person who sued you.\", \"描述\": \"You are responsible for \\\"serving\\\" the plaintiff with your answer to their lawsuit. However, it's typically not necessary to hire a sheriff's deputy or private process-serving company to hand-deliver the documents to them. Usually, you can mail the documents using certified mail with return receipt requested. When you get the card back indicating that the documents have been delivered, that constitutes proof that the plaintiff was served with your documents.\\nThe name and address of the person you need to send your answer to will be listed on your summons. It will either be the person who sued you or their attorney.\\nIf the plaintiff hired an attorney, make sure the documents go to them and not to the plaintiff directly. If you need to communicate with the plaintiff in any way, do so only through their attorney.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"This article discusses how to answer a summons without an attorney in the US. If you live in another country, the process may be different. Consult a local public legal assistance organization to find out more.\\n\", \"While it's possible to answer a summons without an attorney, hiring an attorney to represent you is almost always a better choice. If you can't afford an attorney, contact your state's bar association to find out what free and reduced-cost legal assistance options are available in your area.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,758 | How to Answer a Summons for Debt Collection | 1. Drafting an Answer
1-1. Read the summons and complaint carefully.
When you're served with a summons and complaint, typically a sheriff's deputy or private process server will come to your home or place of work and hand you the court papers. Try to remain calm as you sit down and open the papers to read them.
The summons tells you how to answer the lawsuit and how long you have to file your response with the court. It will likely advise that the plaintiff (the debt collector) can get a default judgment against you if you don't respond.
The complaint provides information about the debt collector that is suing you, the name of the original credit card company, and the amount of money they claim you owe.
1-2. Gather any documents you have related to the debt.
If you recognize the information in the complaint, search your records for any documents that are related to the original debt or any collection attempts. These records will help you decide how you want to respond to the lawsuit.
For example, you may be able to find the last statement you received from the credit card company or a letter from a collection agency.
If any of the information in your own documents doesn't match the information in the complaint, you may have a defense to the lawsuit.
1-3. Meet an attorney for an initial consultation.
Most attorneys who specialize in debt collection lawsuits offer a free initial consultation. Even if you don't have the funds to hire an attorney to represent you in court, it's worth taking advantage of a free consultation. The attorney can look at the complaint and your records and advise you on defenses you may be able to use or tell you how to respond to the lawsuit.
To find an attorney, search online for your state's bar association, then click through to the referral service. These services are free and will provide you with the name of a local attorney based on your answers to a few questions.
Bring your summons and complaint with you to the meeting, along with any documents you have that are related to the debt.
If the attorney's fees are going to be more than the amount the debt collector is saying you owe, it might not be worth it to hire an attorney, even if you can afford their fees. Unless you know that the debt is not yours, you'd probably be better off simply settling the debt.
1-4. Look for forms you can use.
Most courts have blank answer forms that you can use to format your response to the summons and complaint. The name of the court will be at the top of the summons. Search for that name online to find the court's website. Then, search for forms that you can download.
Some courts include a blank answer form along with the summons and complaint. If you got one of these forms, you can simply fill it out by hand.
1-5. Copy the caption from the complaint.
The lines at the top of the complaint are called the "caption" and identify the plaintiff and defendant in the case, as well as the unique case number assigned by the court. Copy this information onto your answer exactly as it appears on the complaint.
If your name is spelled incorrectly, do not correct it. Copy the incorrect spelling in your caption. You may be able to use this as a defense that you are not the person named.
1-6. Write your responses to the statements in the complaint.
The complaint has a series of numbered statements or allegations. In your answer, address each statement by number and state whether you affirm or deny that statement.
Typically, the first couple of statements identify you by name and address. If these are correct, it's safe to go ahead and affirm those statements. However, if any of this information is incorrect or your name is spelled wrong, go ahead and deny them.
Deny the rest of the statements, even if you recognize the debt and can verify all of the information in your own records. Denying the statements forces the debt collector to prove the allegations with factual evidence. If they don't have evidence to back up those claims, they may lose the lawsuit against you.
1-7. Assert any defenses that apply for you.
In addition to denying the allegations in the complaint, you can also list any defenses that you think might apply in your case. Include any that you think might apply, even if you're not sure. You don't necessarily have to argue all of the defenses you list in court, but if you don't include them in your answer, you may not be able to raise them later. Some common defenses in debt collection cases are:
Plaintiff is asking for the wrong amount of money. Use this if the complaint alleges that you owe a different amount than your records show you do.
Plaintiff waited too long to bring this case. If the debt is several years old, the debt collector may no longer have the right to sue you for it. Each state has a statute of limitations, ranging from 3 to 10 years, that governs how long a debt collector has to sue on a debt after the last payment.
You don't have a business relationship with the plaintiff. Use this if the plaintiff is a collection agency and you've never signed a contract with them. This defense forces them to prove that they have the right to collect the money.
1-8. Print and sign your answer.
Once you've finished your answer, look it over carefully to make sure there aren't any typos or other mistakes. If you typed it on a computer, print it so you can sign it with a blue or black ink pen.
Since you are not an attorney, some courts require you to sign court documents in the presence of a notary. If the form you use includes a notary block, don't sign it until you're in front of a notary. Take a valid, government-issued photo ID with you so the notary can verify your identity.
2. Filing Your Answer
2-1. Make at least 2 photocopies of your signed answer.
After you've signed your answer, make a photocopy to keep for your records and a photocopy to send to the plaintiff (or their attorney). Some courts may require additional copies.
It's a good idea to call the clerk's office and find out how many copies you'll need. While the clerk may be willing to make additional copies for you, they'll likely also charge you a fee for this service.
2-2. Take your answer to the clerk's office.
The address of the courthouse is listed on your summons and complaint. If it's a large courthouse and you don't know your way around, ask the security guard at the entrance where the clerk's office is. Typically, it will be near the main entrance to the courthouse.
Tell the clerk that you want to file an answer in your case. Give them the originals and your photocopies. They will stamp the first page of each and give the photocopies back to you. The originals are for the court's records.
You typically don't have to pay a filing fee to file an answer, but in some courts you do. If there's a filing fee, it's usually no more than $20 or $30. If you have a low income or are receiving government benefits, you may be able to get the fees waived.
2-3. Deliver one of the copies to the plaintiff or their attorney.
The address of the plaintiff or their attorney is listed on your summons. Go from the courthouse directly to the post office. Mail one of the file-stamped photocopies to the address listed on the summons.
Send your answer using certified mail with return receipt requested so you'll know when your answer is received. You'll need this information to prove to the court that the plaintiff got your answer.
2-4. Fill out a Certificate of Service.
You can pick up a Certificate of Service form at the clerk's office or download it from the court's website. Copy the caption from the case exactly as it appears on the complaint, then fill in the information to indicate how you sent your answer to the plaintiff.
Attach the green card you got back from the certified mail to the form (after you've made a copy of both for your records). This proves that the plaintiff received your answer.
Some courts require you to file this form with the clerk's office. In others, you merely keep it until the first court date. The clerk can tell you what you need to do after you've sent a copy of your answer to the plaintiff.
3. Reaching a Settlement
3-1. Decide if you want to settle the debt.
In some circumstances, it makes more sense to settle the debt than to go to court and try to fight the lawsuit. Settlements give you more control over the outcome. If you lose the lawsuit, you may not have much choice in how you pay the debt back. Seeking a settlement is a good idea if:
You recognize the debt and can verify the amount listed in the complaint.
You made the last payment on the debt within the last year or two.
You have enough money to pay off the debt, either all at once or over time.
3-2. Create a budget to determine payments you can afford.
Gather information about your income and expenses and figure out how much money you have left each month. If there isn't enough to make a reasonable payment, look at where you can possibly cut expenses to help you pay back the debt.
A reasonable payment depends on the amount you owe and how long you've owed it. For example, if you only owe $500, the debt collector may be willing to accept $100 a month. However, if you owe $5,000, it's unlikely that the debt collector will consider $100 a reasonable payment amount given how long it would take you to pay back the debt.
Most debt collectors prefer the fewest number of payments possible. They believe you're less likely to complete a payment plan if there are several years of payments involved.
3-3. Call the debt collector with a low-ball offer.
Let the debt collector know that you'd like to arrange a settlement. They may already have an offer (or several) prepared for you to consider. If they do, write these down and compare them to the options you worked out after looking at your budget.
Be prepared to haggle. For example, suppose the debt collector says they will settle your $1,000 debt for a lump-sum payment of $750. You might counter that you can do a lump-sum payment of $500. They may take your offer, or they may counter again.
Start low, but not so ridiculously low that you don't sound serious. If you offer something unreasonable, the debt collector might hang up on you. For example, if you owe $1,000, it would be unreasonable to offer to settle for $100.
3-4. Negotiate with the debt collector to reach a settlement.
These conversations typically go through several rounds of offers and counter-offers. It's highly unlikely that the debt collector will accept your low-ball offer. Likewise, you shouldn't accept the debt collector's initial offer either — it's certainly not the best they can do.
If you feel comfortable, you might want to throw in a sob story in an attempt to gain some sympathy. It probably won't work (debt collectors have typically heard it all, and they have a reputation for being unforgiving), but it's worth a shot, particularly if you've been going through rough times lately.
Debt collectors frequently use high-pressure tactics to get you to settle at the highest possible amount. Keep your budget and figures in front of you so you don't get pressured into agreeing on an amount that you can't afford to pay.
3-5. Get the settlement agreement in writing.
If you are able to reach an acceptable settlement with the debt collector over the phone, have them send you a letter that outlines the terms of that agreement. Don't make any payments to the debt collector until you've received this letter.
Take notes of the specific terms of the settlement agreement while you're on the phone. Read your notes back to the debt collector to verify that your information is correct. It also doesn't hurt to record the phone conversation if you have the means to do so.
When you get the letter from the debt collector outlining the settlement, compare it to your notes (or to the recording, if you recorded the call). If any of the terms don't match the original agreement, call the debt collector and let them know.
3-6. Confirm that the debt collector has withdrawn the lawsuit.
After you've reached a settlement and have a written agreement, the debt collector's attorney should withdraw their lawsuit. However, sometimes they don't. Call the clerk's office to verify that the case is no longer on the docket.
If the attorney has failed to withdraw the lawsuit, call the attorney's office. Tell them that you and the debt collector have reached a settlement in the case and they need to pull the case from the court's docket. Then, call the clerk's office back to confirm.
Tips
Even if you've missed the deadline to file your answer, go ahead and file it anyway. Sometimes a late-filed answer can be better than nothing at all, and it may keep the debt collector from getting a default judgment against you.[20]
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Warnings
This article discusses answering a summons for debt collection in the US. If you live in another country, the process may be different. Consult a local attorney or consumer protection agency.
If you are served with a summons and complaint for debt collection, do not ignore it. The debt collector will get a default judgment against you and may be able to garnish your wages or seize your property.[21]
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"create_time": "20230517 10:46:04",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Drafting an Answer\\n1-1. Read the summons and complaint carefully.\\nWhen you're served with a summons and complaint, typically a sheriff's deputy or private process server will come to your home or place of work and hand you the court papers. Try to remain calm as you sit down and open the papers to read them.\\nThe summons tells you how to answer the lawsuit and how long you have to file your response with the court. It will likely advise that the plaintiff (the debt collector) can get a default judgment against you if you don't respond.\\nThe complaint provides information about the debt collector that is suing you, the name of the original credit card company, and the amount of money they claim you owe.\\n1-2. Gather any documents you have related to the debt.\\nIf you recognize the information in the complaint, search your records for any documents that are related to the original debt or any collection attempts. These records will help you decide how you want to respond to the lawsuit.\\nFor example, you may be able to find the last statement you received from the credit card company or a letter from a collection agency.\\nIf any of the information in your own documents doesn't match the information in the complaint, you may have a defense to the lawsuit.\\n1-3. Meet an attorney for an initial consultation.\\nMost attorneys who specialize in debt collection lawsuits offer a free initial consultation. Even if you don't have the funds to hire an attorney to represent you in court, it's worth taking advantage of a free consultation. The attorney can look at the complaint and your records and advise you on defenses you may be able to use or tell you how to respond to the lawsuit.\\nTo find an attorney, search online for your state's bar association, then click through to the referral service. These services are free and will provide you with the name of a local attorney based on your answers to a few questions.\\nBring your summons and complaint with you to the meeting, along with any documents you have that are related to the debt.\\nIf the attorney's fees are going to be more than the amount the debt collector is saying you owe, it might not be worth it to hire an attorney, even if you can afford their fees. Unless you know that the debt is not yours, you'd probably be better off simply settling the debt.\\n1-4. Look for forms you can use.\\nMost courts have blank answer forms that you can use to format your response to the summons and complaint. The name of the court will be at the top of the summons. Search for that name online to find the court's website. Then, search for forms that you can download.\\nSome courts include a blank answer form along with the summons and complaint. If you got one of these forms, you can simply fill it out by hand.\\n1-5. Copy the caption from the complaint.\\nThe lines at the top of the complaint are called the \\\"caption\\\" and identify the plaintiff and defendant in the case, as well as the unique case number assigned by the court. Copy this information onto your answer exactly as it appears on the complaint.\\nIf your name is spelled incorrectly, do not correct it. Copy the incorrect spelling in your caption. You may be able to use this as a defense that you are not the person named.\\n1-6. Write your responses to the statements in the complaint.\\nThe complaint has a series of numbered statements or allegations. In your answer, address each statement by number and state whether you affirm or deny that statement.\\nTypically, the first couple of statements identify you by name and address. If these are correct, it's safe to go ahead and affirm those statements. However, if any of this information is incorrect or your name is spelled wrong, go ahead and deny them.\\nDeny the rest of the statements, even if you recognize the debt and can verify all of the information in your own records. Denying the statements forces the debt collector to prove the allegations with factual evidence. If they don't have evidence to back up those claims, they may lose the lawsuit against you.\\n1-7. Assert any defenses that apply for you.\\nIn addition to denying the allegations in the complaint, you can also list any defenses that you think might apply in your case. Include any that you think might apply, even if you're not sure. You don't necessarily have to argue all of the defenses you list in court, but if you don't include them in your answer, you may not be able to raise them later. Some common defenses in debt collection cases are:\\nPlaintiff is asking for the wrong amount of money. Use this if the complaint alleges that you owe a different amount than your records show you do.\\nPlaintiff waited too long to bring this case. If the debt is several years old, the debt collector may no longer have the right to sue you for it. Each state has a statute of limitations, ranging from 3 to 10 years, that governs how long a debt collector has to sue on a debt after the last payment.\\nYou don't have a business relationship with the plaintiff. Use this if the plaintiff is a collection agency and you've never signed a contract with them. This defense forces them to prove that they have the right to collect the money.\\n1-8. Print and sign your answer.\\nOnce you've finished your answer, look it over carefully to make sure there aren't any typos or other mistakes. If you typed it on a computer, print it so you can sign it with a blue or black ink pen.\\nSince you are not an attorney, some courts require you to sign court documents in the presence of a notary. If the form you use includes a notary block, don't sign it until you're in front of a notary. Take a valid, government-issued photo ID with you so the notary can verify your identity.\\n2. Filing Your Answer\\n2-1. Make at least 2 photocopies of your signed answer.\\nAfter you've signed your answer, make a photocopy to keep for your records and a photocopy to send to the plaintiff (or their attorney). Some courts may require additional copies.\\nIt's a good idea to call the clerk's office and find out how many copies you'll need. While the clerk may be willing to make additional copies for you, they'll likely also charge you a fee for this service.\\n2-2. Take your answer to the clerk's office.\\nThe address of the courthouse is listed on your summons and complaint. If it's a large courthouse and you don't know your way around, ask the security guard at the entrance where the clerk's office is. Typically, it will be near the main entrance to the courthouse.\\nTell the clerk that you want to file an answer in your case. Give them the originals and your photocopies. They will stamp the first page of each and give the photocopies back to you. The originals are for the court's records.\\nYou typically don't have to pay a filing fee to file an answer, but in some courts you do. If there's a filing fee, it's usually no more than $20 or $30. If you have a low income or are receiving government benefits, you may be able to get the fees waived.\\n2-3. Deliver one of the copies to the plaintiff or their attorney.\\nThe address of the plaintiff or their attorney is listed on your summons. Go from the courthouse directly to the post office. Mail one of the file-stamped photocopies to the address listed on the summons.\\nSend your answer using certified mail with return receipt requested so you'll know when your answer is received. You'll need this information to prove to the court that the plaintiff got your answer.\\n2-4. Fill out a Certificate of Service.\\nYou can pick up a Certificate of Service form at the clerk's office or download it from the court's website. Copy the caption from the case exactly as it appears on the complaint, then fill in the information to indicate how you sent your answer to the plaintiff.\\nAttach the green card you got back from the certified mail to the form (after you've made a copy of both for your records). This proves that the plaintiff received your answer.\\nSome courts require you to file this form with the clerk's office. In others, you merely keep it until the first court date. The clerk can tell you what you need to do after you've sent a copy of your answer to the plaintiff.\\n3. Reaching a Settlement\\n3-1. Decide if you want to settle the debt.\\nIn some circumstances, it makes more sense to settle the debt than to go to court and try to fight the lawsuit. Settlements give you more control over the outcome. If you lose the lawsuit, you may not have much choice in how you pay the debt back. Seeking a settlement is a good idea if:\\nYou recognize the debt and can verify the amount listed in the complaint.\\nYou made the last payment on the debt within the last year or two.\\nYou have enough money to pay off the debt, either all at once or over time.\\n3-2. Create a budget to determine payments you can afford.\\nGather information about your income and expenses and figure out how much money you have left each month. If there isn't enough to make a reasonable payment, look at where you can possibly cut expenses to help you pay back the debt.\\nA reasonable payment depends on the amount you owe and how long you've owed it. For example, if you only owe $500, the debt collector may be willing to accept $100 a month. However, if you owe $5,000, it's unlikely that the debt collector will consider $100 a reasonable payment amount given how long it would take you to pay back the debt.\\nMost debt collectors prefer the fewest number of payments possible. They believe you're less likely to complete a payment plan if there are several years of payments involved.\\n3-3. Call the debt collector with a low-ball offer.\\nLet the debt collector know that you'd like to arrange a settlement. They may already have an offer (or several) prepared for you to consider. If they do, write these down and compare them to the options you worked out after looking at your budget.\\nBe prepared to haggle. For example, suppose the debt collector says they will settle your $1,000 debt for a lump-sum payment of $750. You might counter that you can do a lump-sum payment of $500. They may take your offer, or they may counter again.\\nStart low, but not so ridiculously low that you don't sound serious. If you offer something unreasonable, the debt collector might hang up on you. For example, if you owe $1,000, it would be unreasonable to offer to settle for $100.\\n3-4. Negotiate with the debt collector to reach a settlement.\\nThese conversations typically go through several rounds of offers and counter-offers. It's highly unlikely that the debt collector will accept your low-ball offer. Likewise, you shouldn't accept the debt collector's initial offer either — it's certainly not the best they can do.\\nIf you feel comfortable, you might want to throw in a sob story in an attempt to gain some sympathy. It probably won't work (debt collectors have typically heard it all, and they have a reputation for being unforgiving), but it's worth a shot, particularly if you've been going through rough times lately.\\nDebt collectors frequently use high-pressure tactics to get you to settle at the highest possible amount. Keep your budget and figures in front of you so you don't get pressured into agreeing on an amount that you can't afford to pay.\\n3-5. Get the settlement agreement in writing.\\nIf you are able to reach an acceptable settlement with the debt collector over the phone, have them send you a letter that outlines the terms of that agreement. Don't make any payments to the debt collector until you've received this letter.\\nTake notes of the specific terms of the settlement agreement while you're on the phone. Read your notes back to the debt collector to verify that your information is correct. It also doesn't hurt to record the phone conversation if you have the means to do so.\\nWhen you get the letter from the debt collector outlining the settlement, compare it to your notes (or to the recording, if you recorded the call). If any of the terms don't match the original agreement, call the debt collector and let them know.\\n3-6. Confirm that the debt collector has withdrawn the lawsuit.\\nAfter you've reached a settlement and have a written agreement, the debt collector's attorney should withdraw their lawsuit. However, sometimes they don't. Call the clerk's office to verify that the case is no longer on the docket.\\nIf the attorney has failed to withdraw the lawsuit, call the attorney's office. Tell them that you and the debt collector have reached a settlement in the case and they need to pull the case from the court's docket. Then, call the clerk's office back to confirm.\\nTips\\nEven if you've missed the deadline to file your answer, go ahead and file it anyway. Sometimes a late-filed answer can be better than nothing at all, and it may keep the debt collector from getting a default judgment against you.[20]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nWarnings\\nThis article discusses answering a summons for debt collection in the US. If you live in another country, the process may be different. Consult a local attorney or consumer protection agency.\\nIf you are served with a summons and complaint for debt collection, do not ignore it. The debt collector will get a default judgment against you and may be able to garnish your wages or seize your property.[21]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Receiving a summons for debt collection can be a terrifying thing. While you might be tempted to ignore it, that's not a good plan. If you ignore the summons, the creditor will get a default judgment against you, even though it's possible that you don't owe the debt, or that the company suing you doesn't have the right to collect it. Instead, draft an answer defending yourself and forcing the company to prove that you owe the debt. Then, if it's within your means to do so, call the company and try to settle the debt rather than going to court.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Drafting an Answer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Read the summons and complaint carefully.\", \"描述\": \"When you're served with a summons and complaint, typically a sheriff's deputy or private process server will come to your home or place of work and hand you the court papers. Try to remain calm as you sit down and open the papers to read them.\\nThe summons tells you how to answer the lawsuit and how long you have to file your response with the court. It will likely advise that the plaintiff (the debt collector) can get a default judgment against you if you don't respond.\\nThe complaint provides information about the debt collector that is suing you, the name of the original credit card company, and the amount of money they claim you owe.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Gather any documents you have related to the debt.\", \"描述\": \"If you recognize the information in the complaint, search your records for any documents that are related to the original debt or any collection attempts. These records will help you decide how you want to respond to the lawsuit.\\nFor example, you may be able to find the last statement you received from the credit card company or a letter from a collection agency.\\nIf any of the information in your own documents doesn't match the information in the complaint, you may have a defense to the lawsuit.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Meet an attorney for an initial consultation.\", \"描述\": \"Most attorneys who specialize in debt collection lawsuits offer a free initial consultation. Even if you don't have the funds to hire an attorney to represent you in court, it's worth taking advantage of a free consultation. The attorney can look at the complaint and your records and advise you on defenses you may be able to use or tell you how to respond to the lawsuit.\\nTo find an attorney, search online for your state's bar association, then click through to the referral service. These services are free and will provide you with the name of a local attorney based on your answers to a few questions.\\nBring your summons and complaint with you to the meeting, along with any documents you have that are related to the debt.\\nIf the attorney's fees are going to be more than the amount the debt collector is saying you owe, it might not be worth it to hire an attorney, even if you can afford their fees. Unless you know that the debt is not yours, you'd probably be better off simply settling the debt.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Look for forms you can use.\", \"描述\": \"Most courts have blank answer forms that you can use to format your response to the summons and complaint. The name of the court will be at the top of the summons. Search for that name online to find the court's website. Then, search for forms that you can download.\\nSome courts include a blank answer form along with the summons and complaint. If you got one of these forms, you can simply fill it out by hand.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Copy the caption from the complaint.\", \"描述\": \"The lines at the top of the complaint are called the \\\"caption\\\" and identify the plaintiff and defendant in the case, as well as the unique case number assigned by the court. Copy this information onto your answer exactly as it appears on the complaint.\\nIf your name is spelled incorrectly, do not correct it. Copy the incorrect spelling in your caption. You may be able to use this as a defense that you are not the person named.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Write your responses to the statements in the complaint.\", \"描述\": \"The complaint has a series of numbered statements or allegations. In your answer, address each statement by number and state whether you affirm or deny that statement.\\nTypically, the first couple of statements identify you by name and address. If these are correct, it's safe to go ahead and affirm those statements. However, if any of this information is incorrect or your name is spelled wrong, go ahead and deny them.\\nDeny the rest of the statements, even if you recognize the debt and can verify all of the information in your own records. Denying the statements forces the debt collector to prove the allegations with factual evidence. If they don't have evidence to back up those claims, they may lose the lawsuit against you.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Assert any defenses that apply for you.\", \"描述\": \"In addition to denying the allegations in the complaint, you can also list any defenses that you think might apply in your case. Include any that you think might apply, even if you're not sure. You don't necessarily have to argue all of the defenses you list in court, but if you don't include them in your answer, you may not be able to raise them later. Some common defenses in debt collection cases are:\\nPlaintiff is asking for the wrong amount of money. Use this if the complaint alleges that you owe a different amount than your records show you do.\\nPlaintiff waited too long to bring this case. If the debt is several years old, the debt collector may no longer have the right to sue you for it. Each state has a statute of limitations, ranging from 3 to 10 years, that governs how long a debt collector has to sue on a debt after the last payment.\\nYou don't have a business relationship with the plaintiff. Use this if the plaintiff is a collection agency and you've never signed a contract with them. This defense forces them to prove that they have the right to collect the money.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Print and sign your answer.\", \"描述\": \"Once you've finished your answer, look it over carefully to make sure there aren't any typos or other mistakes. If you typed it on a computer, print it so you can sign it with a blue or black ink pen.\\nSince you are not an attorney, some courts require you to sign court documents in the presence of a notary. If the form you use includes a notary block, don't sign it until you're in front of a notary. Take a valid, government-issued photo ID with you so the notary can verify your identity.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Filing Your Answer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make at least 2 photocopies of your signed answer.\", \"描述\": \"After you've signed your answer, make a photocopy to keep for your records and a photocopy to send to the plaintiff (or their attorney). Some courts may require additional copies.\\nIt's a good idea to call the clerk's office and find out how many copies you'll need. While the clerk may be willing to make additional copies for you, they'll likely also charge you a fee for this service.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take your answer to the clerk's office.\", \"描述\": \"The address of the courthouse is listed on your summons and complaint. If it's a large courthouse and you don't know your way around, ask the security guard at the entrance where the clerk's office is. Typically, it will be near the main entrance to the courthouse.\\nTell the clerk that you want to file an answer in your case. Give them the originals and your photocopies. They will stamp the first page of each and give the photocopies back to you. The originals are for the court's records.\\nYou typically don't have to pay a filing fee to file an answer, but in some courts you do. If there's a filing fee, it's usually no more than $20 or $30. If you have a low income or are receiving government benefits, you may be able to get the fees waived.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Deliver one of the copies to the plaintiff or their attorney.\", \"描述\": \"The address of the plaintiff or their attorney is listed on your summons. Go from the courthouse directly to the post office. Mail one of the file-stamped photocopies to the address listed on the summons.\\nSend your answer using certified mail with return receipt requested so you'll know when your answer is received. You'll need this information to prove to the court that the plaintiff got your answer.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Fill out a Certificate of Service.\", \"描述\": \"You can pick up a Certificate of Service form at the clerk's office or download it from the court's website. Copy the caption from the case exactly as it appears on the complaint, then fill in the information to indicate how you sent your answer to the plaintiff.\\nAttach the green card you got back from the certified mail to the form (after you've made a copy of both for your records). This proves that the plaintiff received your answer.\\nSome courts require you to file this form with the clerk's office. In others, you merely keep it until the first court date. The clerk can tell you what you need to do after you've sent a copy of your answer to the plaintiff.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Reaching a Settlement\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Decide if you want to settle the debt.\", \"描述\": \"In some circumstances, it makes more sense to settle the debt than to go to court and try to fight the lawsuit. Settlements give you more control over the outcome. If you lose the lawsuit, you may not have much choice in how you pay the debt back. Seeking a settlement is a good idea if:\\nYou recognize the debt and can verify the amount listed in the complaint.\\nYou made the last payment on the debt within the last year or two.\\nYou have enough money to pay off the debt, either all at once or over time.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create a budget to determine payments you can afford.\", \"描述\": \"Gather information about your income and expenses and figure out how much money you have left each month. If there isn't enough to make a reasonable payment, look at where you can possibly cut expenses to help you pay back the debt.\\nA reasonable payment depends on the amount you owe and how long you've owed it. For example, if you only owe $500, the debt collector may be willing to accept $100 a month. However, if you owe $5,000, it's unlikely that the debt collector will consider $100 a reasonable payment amount given how long it would take you to pay back the debt.\\nMost debt collectors prefer the fewest number of payments possible. They believe you're less likely to complete a payment plan if there are several years of payments involved.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Call the debt collector with a low-ball offer.\", \"描述\": \"Let the debt collector know that you'd like to arrange a settlement. They may already have an offer (or several) prepared for you to consider. If they do, write these down and compare them to the options you worked out after looking at your budget.\\nBe prepared to haggle. For example, suppose the debt collector says they will settle your $1,000 debt for a lump-sum payment of $750. You might counter that you can do a lump-sum payment of $500. They may take your offer, or they may counter again.\\nStart low, but not so ridiculously low that you don't sound serious. If you offer something unreasonable, the debt collector might hang up on you. For example, if you owe $1,000, it would be unreasonable to offer to settle for $100.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Negotiate with the debt collector to reach a settlement.\", \"描述\": \"These conversations typically go through several rounds of offers and counter-offers. It's highly unlikely that the debt collector will accept your low-ball offer. Likewise, you shouldn't accept the debt collector's initial offer either — it's certainly not the best they can do.\\nIf you feel comfortable, you might want to throw in a sob story in an attempt to gain some sympathy. It probably won't work (debt collectors have typically heard it all, and they have a reputation for being unforgiving), but it's worth a shot, particularly if you've been going through rough times lately.\\nDebt collectors frequently use high-pressure tactics to get you to settle at the highest possible amount. Keep your budget and figures in front of you so you don't get pressured into agreeing on an amount that you can't afford to pay.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get the settlement agreement in writing.\", \"描述\": \"If you are able to reach an acceptable settlement with the debt collector over the phone, have them send you a letter that outlines the terms of that agreement. Don't make any payments to the debt collector until you've received this letter.\\nTake notes of the specific terms of the settlement agreement while you're on the phone. Read your notes back to the debt collector to verify that your information is correct. It also doesn't hurt to record the phone conversation if you have the means to do so.\\nWhen you get the letter from the debt collector outlining the settlement, compare it to your notes (or to the recording, if you recorded the call). If any of the terms don't match the original agreement, call the debt collector and let them know.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Confirm that the debt collector has withdrawn the lawsuit.\", \"描述\": \"After you've reached a settlement and have a written agreement, the debt collector's attorney should withdraw their lawsuit. However, sometimes they don't. Call the clerk's office to verify that the case is no longer on the docket.\\nIf the attorney has failed to withdraw the lawsuit, call the attorney's office. Tell them that you and the debt collector have reached a settlement in the case and they need to pull the case from the court's docket. Then, call the clerk's office back to confirm.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Even if you've missed the deadline to file your answer, go ahead and file it anyway. Sometimes a late-filed answer can be better than nothing at all, and it may keep the debt collector from getting a default judgment against you.[20]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"This article discusses answering a summons for debt collection in the US. If you live in another country, the process may be different. Consult a local attorney or consumer protection agency.\\n\", \"If you are served with a summons and complaint for debt collection, do not ignore it. The debt collector will get a default judgment against you and may be able to garnish your wages or seize your property.[21]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
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1,759 | How to Answer a Writing Prompt | 1. Answering Expository (Informative) Prompts
1-1. Look for the words "explain" or "describe" in the writing prompt.
Expository prompts direct you to write an essay that explains or describes something. This type of essay is informative, but often does not require that you make an in-depth argument or state an opinion.
Other words that signal an expository writing assignment include "summarize," "clarify," or "tell about."
For example, "Explain camping to a person who has never camped before" is an example of an expository prompt. So is "Describe how communication has changed in the last 20 years."
1-2. Brainstorm
Make sure you don't try to cover so much that 5 paragraphs is inadequate. You should also avoid a focus that's so narrow that you have problems coming up with 5 paragraphs.
For example, for "Explain camping to a person who has never camped before," you could take several approaches. You could explain reasons why people might want to go camping, or you could explain how to set up a campsite. You might even want to try both approaches in your essay.
1-3. Create a thesis statement.
For expository essays, the thesis statement says what you will be explaining or describing and how you will do it.
Strong expository essays have a theme or center of gravity that organizes them. For example, for "Describe how communication has changed in the last 20 years" you might want to focus your essay on how teens use communication differently, or the impact of communication changes on daily life.
An expository thesis statement does not have to present an opinion or even make an argument. It should be based on the facts you will examine. For example, "Over the past 20 years, communication has changed significantly. It is now affordable to stay in touch with people all over the world, easier to connect with people from different places and cultures, and keep others updated with even your minor doings."
1-4. Think of strong topic sentences that support your thesis statement.
A topic sentence is specific, and gives a "preview" of what the paragraph will be about. Each paragraph needs a strong topic sentence at the beginning.
For example, if you were writing an essay explaining camping, you might have the following topic sentences for your paragraphs: 1) "There are many reasons why people might want to go camping." (Paragraph about reasons to go camping.) 2) "You must consider several things when choosing a campsite." (Choosing a campsite paragraph.) 3) "Finally, you must set up your campsite." (Paragraph about setting up camp.)
1-5. Compose the introduction for your essay.
Your thesis statement will be the last sentence.
You'll want to open with a general statement about your topic that "hooks" your reader. Then provide any context your reader needs to understand your topic. Close with your thesis statement.
1-6. Write the body of the essay.
Depending on your prompt, your answer may be as short as a paragraph. Most writing assignments expect several paragraphs, and many prefer the 5-paragraph form. For each paragraph, develop it by doing the following:
Begin each paragraph with a topic sentence.
Explain your topic sentence.
Give an example that supports your topic sentence.
Analyze your example.
Write a concluding statement.
1-7. Add your conclusion.
Restate your thesis at the end of the paragraph. A good conclusion will show how your ideas progressed, give the reader something to think about, or present new directions for the information.
For example, if you are explaining camping, you could conclude by saying something like, "Although some people who live in cities have never been camping before, it is actually fun and easy. Next time you're considering a vacation, why not consider camping?"
2. Answering Narrative Prompts
2-1. Find the words "tell," "time" or "event."
Narrative prompts ask you to tell a story, usually about yourself. You may also see the words "Describe" or "write about."
For example, a narrative prompt might look like this: "Talk about a time when you experienced friendship" or "Describe a moment when you showed courage."
2-2. Write a story about something that happened to you.
You'll want to gear the narrative you tell to answer the prompt. You will often want to write about a moment that taught you a lesson or had an impact on your life.
Write in first person. Tell the story as yourself, using "I" and "me."
2-3. Begin with an introduction that tells the reader that you will tell a story.
Your introduction provides the setting and context for your narrative. Let the reader know what you will be writing about, who the major "characters" are, and the purpose of your narrative. This purpose is your thesis statement.
A narrative thesis statement may offer the lesson you learned or talk about the impact of the moment on your life, such as "The most memorable moment in which I showed courage happened in seventh grade." It could also identify a theme that connects your story to a greater theme, such as "Most people do not know how courageous they can be until they're faced with danger. This was true for me, too."
2-4. Write a narrative essay more loosely than you would other types of essays.
Use description, metaphor, anecdotes, dialogue and other literary devices.
You may want to structure your essay chronologically to show the development of the lesson over time. This is usually the clearest way to structure your essay. Use words such as "then," "next," and "finally" to show your progress.
2-5. End the essay by telling the reader what you learned from the experience.
This is where you come back to the thesis you gave in the beginning. What did you learn? How has the experience changed you in some way?
3. Answering Persuasive Prompts
3-1. Look for the words "persuade" or "convince."
Persuasive prompts direct you to make an argument that convinces another person of your point of view or opinion. You will need to use logic and examples to convince the other person.
You may be trying to convince the tester who will read your essay, or you may be asked to write as if you were trying to convince a hypothetical person.
Other signals that you are writing a persuasive answer include "How do you feel about" or "What do you think about". If a prompt asks whether you agree or disagree with a statement, it is a persuasive prompt.
3-2. Decide which arguments will work best on the reader.
This will depend on who your audience is. For example, if you have been directed to convince a hypothetical committee to fund a project, you will want to use logical, factual arguments. If you have been instructed to persuade your peers that school lunches are important, you may want to use more emotional arguments.
Cause and effect are a common persuasive thesis. For example, "Giving underprivileged students free school lunches raises their performance and makes the whole school better" is a cause and effect argument.
Value is another common tactic. This type of argument emphasizes the importance of something. For example, "Allowing global warming to continue will destroy habitats for animals such as polar bears and penguins. We cannot allow our world to lose this rich wildlife."
3-3. Identify what your reader's most likely objection or argument might be and how you can refute it.
These possible objections may even be in the prompt itself. Read it carefully and consider what possible objections could be.
For example, someone might object that providing free school lunches places a burden on taxpayers, or singles students out as "poor" in the eyes of their classmates.
To refute these objections, consider the type of argument you want to make. If you're making a logical argument, use logical refutations. If you're making an emotional argument, use emotional refutations.
3-4. Write an introductory paragraph in which you give background on the issue.
Give the important context or information that your readers need to know. End with a thesis statement that tells the reader what you want to persuade her to believe.
For example, if you are writing about the necessity of stopping global warming, you will need to identify what scientists believe are the main causes of it. End with your thesis that states that although it will be difficult to stop global warming, we cannot afford to lose the rich wildlife that global warming is destroying.
3-5. Add body paragraphs.
Depending on the instructions in your prompt, provide body paragraphs that give your main arguments. In each paragraph, provide evidence or examples that support your arguments.
Most persuasive essays will include at least 3 body paragraphs.
3-6. Include a paragraph in which you state the most likely argument or objection of your reader, and then refute it.
This paragraph usually comes right before the conclusion. Use the information from your brainstorming session to refute the point.
3-7. Compose a conclusion.
Persuasive conclusions often end by restating the thesis and emphasizing the importance of the argument you have made. You can also include a call to action for the reader, or end with a quotation or question that encourages further thought.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:46:05",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Answering Expository (Informative) Prompts\\n1-1. Look for the words \\\"explain\\\" or \\\"describe\\\" in the writing prompt.\\nExpository prompts direct you to write an essay that explains or describes something. This type of essay is informative, but often does not require that you make an in-depth argument or state an opinion.\\nOther words that signal an expository writing assignment include \\\"summarize,\\\" \\\"clarify,\\\" or \\\"tell about.\\\"\\nFor example, \\\"Explain camping to a person who has never camped before\\\" is an example of an expository prompt. So is \\\"Describe how communication has changed in the last 20 years.\\\"\\n1-2. Brainstorm\\nMake sure you don't try to cover so much that 5 paragraphs is inadequate. You should also avoid a focus that's so narrow that you have problems coming up with 5 paragraphs.\\nFor example, for \\\"Explain camping to a person who has never camped before,\\\" you could take several approaches. You could explain reasons why people might want to go camping, or you could explain how to set up a campsite. You might even want to try both approaches in your essay.\\n1-3. Create a thesis statement.\\nFor expository essays, the thesis statement says what you will be explaining or describing and how you will do it.\\nStrong expository essays have a theme or center of gravity that organizes them. For example, for \\\"Describe how communication has changed in the last 20 years\\\" you might want to focus your essay on how teens use communication differently, or the impact of communication changes on daily life.\\nAn expository thesis statement does not have to present an opinion or even make an argument. It should be based on the facts you will examine. For example, \\\"Over the past 20 years, communication has changed significantly. It is now affordable to stay in touch with people all over the world, easier to connect with people from different places and cultures, and keep others updated with even your minor doings.\\\"\\n1-4. Think of strong topic sentences that support your thesis statement.\\nA topic sentence is specific, and gives a \\\"preview\\\" of what the paragraph will be about. Each paragraph needs a strong topic sentence at the beginning. \\nFor example, if you were writing an essay explaining camping, you might have the following topic sentences for your paragraphs: 1) \\\"There are many reasons why people might want to go camping.\\\" (Paragraph about reasons to go camping.) 2) \\\"You must consider several things when choosing a campsite.\\\" (Choosing a campsite paragraph.) 3) \\\"Finally, you must set up your campsite.\\\" (Paragraph about setting up camp.)\\n1-5. Compose the introduction for your essay.\\nYour thesis statement will be the last sentence.\\nYou'll want to open with a general statement about your topic that \\\"hooks\\\" your reader. Then provide any context your reader needs to understand your topic. Close with your thesis statement.\\n1-6. Write the body of the essay.\\nDepending on your prompt, your answer may be as short as a paragraph. Most writing assignments expect several paragraphs, and many prefer the 5-paragraph form. For each paragraph, develop it by doing the following:\\nBegin each paragraph with a topic sentence.\\nExplain your topic sentence.\\nGive an example that supports your topic sentence.\\nAnalyze your example.\\nWrite a concluding statement.\\n1-7. Add your conclusion.\\nRestate your thesis at the end of the paragraph. A good conclusion will show how your ideas progressed, give the reader something to think about, or present new directions for the information.\\nFor example, if you are explaining camping, you could conclude by saying something like, \\\"Although some people who live in cities have never been camping before, it is actually fun and easy. Next time you're considering a vacation, why not consider camping?\\\"\\n2. Answering Narrative Prompts\\n2-1. Find the words \\\"tell,\\\" \\\"time\\\" or \\\"event.\\\"\\nNarrative prompts ask you to tell a story, usually about yourself. You may also see the words \\\"Describe\\\" or \\\"write about.\\\"\\nFor example, a narrative prompt might look like this: \\\"Talk about a time when you experienced friendship\\\" or \\\"Describe a moment when you showed courage.\\\"\\n2-2. Write a story about something that happened to you.\\nYou'll want to gear the narrative you tell to answer the prompt. You will often want to write about a moment that taught you a lesson or had an impact on your life. \\nWrite in first person. Tell the story as yourself, using \\\"I\\\" and \\\"me.\\\"\\n2-3. Begin with an introduction that tells the reader that you will tell a story.\\nYour introduction provides the setting and context for your narrative. Let the reader know what you will be writing about, who the major \\\"characters\\\" are, and the purpose of your narrative. This purpose is your thesis statement.\\nA narrative thesis statement may offer the lesson you learned or talk about the impact of the moment on your life, such as \\\"The most memorable moment in which I showed courage happened in seventh grade.\\\" It could also identify a theme that connects your story to a greater theme, such as \\\"Most people do not know how courageous they can be until they're faced with danger. This was true for me, too.\\\"\\n2-4. Write a narrative essay more loosely than you would other types of essays.\\nUse description, metaphor, anecdotes, dialogue and other literary devices.\\nYou may want to structure your essay chronologically to show the development of the lesson over time. This is usually the clearest way to structure your essay. Use words such as \\\"then,\\\" \\\"next,\\\" and \\\"finally\\\" to show your progress.\\n2-5. End the essay by telling the reader what you learned from the experience.\\nThis is where you come back to the thesis you gave in the beginning. What did you learn? How has the experience changed you in some way?\\n3. Answering Persuasive Prompts\\n3-1. Look for the words \\\"persuade\\\" or \\\"convince.\\\"\\nPersuasive prompts direct you to make an argument that convinces another person of your point of view or opinion. You will need to use logic and examples to convince the other person.\\nYou may be trying to convince the tester who will read your essay, or you may be asked to write as if you were trying to convince a hypothetical person.\\nOther signals that you are writing a persuasive answer include \\\"How do you feel about\\\" or \\\"What do you think about\\\". If a prompt asks whether you agree or disagree with a statement, it is a persuasive prompt.\\n3-2. Decide which arguments will work best on the reader.\\nThis will depend on who your audience is. For example, if you have been directed to convince a hypothetical committee to fund a project, you will want to use logical, factual arguments. If you have been instructed to persuade your peers that school lunches are important, you may want to use more emotional arguments.\\nCause and effect are a common persuasive thesis. For example, \\\"Giving underprivileged students free school lunches raises their performance and makes the whole school better\\\" is a cause and effect argument.\\nValue is another common tactic. This type of argument emphasizes the importance of something. For example, \\\"Allowing global warming to continue will destroy habitats for animals such as polar bears and penguins. We cannot allow our world to lose this rich wildlife.\\\"\\n3-3. Identify what your reader's most likely objection or argument might be and how you can refute it.\\nThese possible objections may even be in the prompt itself. Read it carefully and consider what possible objections could be.\\nFor example, someone might object that providing free school lunches places a burden on taxpayers, or singles students out as \\\"poor\\\" in the eyes of their classmates.\\nTo refute these objections, consider the type of argument you want to make. If you're making a logical argument, use logical refutations. If you're making an emotional argument, use emotional refutations.\\n3-4. Write an introductory paragraph in which you give background on the issue.\\nGive the important context or information that your readers need to know. End with a thesis statement that tells the reader what you want to persuade her to believe.\\nFor example, if you are writing about the necessity of stopping global warming, you will need to identify what scientists believe are the main causes of it. End with your thesis that states that although it will be difficult to stop global warming, we cannot afford to lose the rich wildlife that global warming is destroying.\\n3-5. Add body paragraphs.\\nDepending on the instructions in your prompt, provide body paragraphs that give your main arguments. In each paragraph, provide evidence or examples that support your arguments.\\nMost persuasive essays will include at least 3 body paragraphs.\\n3-6. Include a paragraph in which you state the most likely argument or objection of your reader, and then refute it.\\nThis paragraph usually comes right before the conclusion. Use the information from your brainstorming session to refute the point.\\n3-7. Compose a conclusion.\\nPersuasive conclusions often end by restating the thesis and emphasizing the importance of the argument you have made. You can also include a call to action for the reader, or end with a quotation or question that encourages further thought.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Students of all kinds, from elementary school to those applying for post-graduate educations, are tested on their writing ability through writing prompts. Successful students are able to understand what kind of essay the prompt is calling for and answer it with what the tester wants to see.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Answering Expository (Informative) Prompts\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look for the words \\\"explain\\\" or \\\"describe\\\" in the writing prompt.\", \"描述\": \"Expository prompts direct you to write an essay that explains or describes something. This type of essay is informative, but often does not require that you make an in-depth argument or state an opinion.\\nOther words that signal an expository writing assignment include \\\"summarize,\\\" \\\"clarify,\\\" or \\\"tell about.\\\"\\nFor example, \\\"Explain camping to a person who has never camped before\\\" is an example of an expository prompt. So is \\\"Describe how communication has changed in the last 20 years.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Brainstorm\", \"描述\": \"Make sure you don't try to cover so much that 5 paragraphs is inadequate. You should also avoid a focus that's so narrow that you have problems coming up with 5 paragraphs.\\nFor example, for \\\"Explain camping to a person who has never camped before,\\\" you could take several approaches. You could explain reasons why people might want to go camping, or you could explain how to set up a campsite. You might even want to try both approaches in your essay.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Create a thesis statement.\", \"描述\": \"For expository essays, the thesis statement says what you will be explaining or describing and how you will do it.\\nStrong expository essays have a theme or center of gravity that organizes them. For example, for \\\"Describe how communication has changed in the last 20 years\\\" you might want to focus your essay on how teens use communication differently, or the impact of communication changes on daily life.\\nAn expository thesis statement does not have to present an opinion or even make an argument. It should be based on the facts you will examine. For example, \\\"Over the past 20 years, communication has changed significantly. It is now affordable to stay in touch with people all over the world, easier to connect with people from different places and cultures, and keep others updated with even your minor doings.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Think of strong topic sentences that support your thesis statement.\", \"描述\": \"A topic sentence is specific, and gives a \\\"preview\\\" of what the paragraph will be about. Each paragraph needs a strong topic sentence at the beginning. \\nFor example, if you were writing an essay explaining camping, you might have the following topic sentences for your paragraphs: 1) \\\"There are many reasons why people might want to go camping.\\\" (Paragraph about reasons to go camping.) 2) \\\"You must consider several things when choosing a campsite.\\\" (Choosing a campsite paragraph.) 3) \\\"Finally, you must set up your campsite.\\\" (Paragraph about setting up camp.)\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Compose the introduction for your essay.\", \"描述\": \"Your thesis statement will be the last sentence.\\nYou'll want to open with a general statement about your topic that \\\"hooks\\\" your reader. Then provide any context your reader needs to understand your topic. Close with your thesis statement.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Write the body of the essay.\", \"描述\": \"Depending on your prompt, your answer may be as short as a paragraph. Most writing assignments expect several paragraphs, and many prefer the 5-paragraph form. For each paragraph, develop it by doing the following:\\nBegin each paragraph with a topic sentence.\\nExplain your topic sentence.\\nGive an example that supports your topic sentence.\\nAnalyze your example.\\nWrite a concluding statement.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Add your conclusion.\", \"描述\": \"Restate your thesis at the end of the paragraph. A good conclusion will show how your ideas progressed, give the reader something to think about, or present new directions for the information.\\nFor example, if you are explaining camping, you could conclude by saying something like, \\\"Although some people who live in cities have never been camping before, it is actually fun and easy. Next time you're considering a vacation, why not consider camping?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Answering Narrative Prompts\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find the words \\\"tell,\\\" \\\"time\\\" or \\\"event.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"Narrative prompts ask you to tell a story, usually about yourself. You may also see the words \\\"Describe\\\" or \\\"write about.\\\"\\nFor example, a narrative prompt might look like this: \\\"Talk about a time when you experienced friendship\\\" or \\\"Describe a moment when you showed courage.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Write a story about something that happened to you.\", \"描述\": \"You'll want to gear the narrative you tell to answer the prompt. You will often want to write about a moment that taught you a lesson or had an impact on your life. \\nWrite in first person. Tell the story as yourself, using \\\"I\\\" and \\\"me.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Begin with an introduction that tells the reader that you will tell a story.\", \"描述\": \"Your introduction provides the setting and context for your narrative. Let the reader know what you will be writing about, who the major \\\"characters\\\" are, and the purpose of your narrative. This purpose is your thesis statement.\\nA narrative thesis statement may offer the lesson you learned or talk about the impact of the moment on your life, such as \\\"The most memorable moment in which I showed courage happened in seventh grade.\\\" It could also identify a theme that connects your story to a greater theme, such as \\\"Most people do not know how courageous they can be until they're faced with danger. This was true for me, too.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Write a narrative essay more loosely than you would other types of essays.\", \"描述\": \"Use description, metaphor, anecdotes, dialogue and other literary devices.\\nYou may want to structure your essay chronologically to show the development of the lesson over time. This is usually the clearest way to structure your essay. Use words such as \\\"then,\\\" \\\"next,\\\" and \\\"finally\\\" to show your progress.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"End the essay by telling the reader what you learned from the experience.\", \"描述\": \"This is where you come back to the thesis you gave in the beginning. What did you learn? How has the experience changed you in some way?\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Answering Persuasive Prompts\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look for the words \\\"persuade\\\" or \\\"convince.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"Persuasive prompts direct you to make an argument that convinces another person of your point of view or opinion. You will need to use logic and examples to convince the other person.\\nYou may be trying to convince the tester who will read your essay, or you may be asked to write as if you were trying to convince a hypothetical person.\\nOther signals that you are writing a persuasive answer include \\\"How do you feel about\\\" or \\\"What do you think about\\\". If a prompt asks whether you agree or disagree with a statement, it is a persuasive prompt.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Decide which arguments will work best on the reader.\", \"描述\": \"This will depend on who your audience is. For example, if you have been directed to convince a hypothetical committee to fund a project, you will want to use logical, factual arguments. If you have been instructed to persuade your peers that school lunches are important, you may want to use more emotional arguments.\\nCause and effect are a common persuasive thesis. For example, \\\"Giving underprivileged students free school lunches raises their performance and makes the whole school better\\\" is a cause and effect argument.\\nValue is another common tactic. This type of argument emphasizes the importance of something. For example, \\\"Allowing global warming to continue will destroy habitats for animals such as polar bears and penguins. We cannot allow our world to lose this rich wildlife.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Identify what your reader's most likely objection or argument might be and how you can refute it.\", \"描述\": \"These possible objections may even be in the prompt itself. Read it carefully and consider what possible objections could be.\\nFor example, someone might object that providing free school lunches places a burden on taxpayers, or singles students out as \\\"poor\\\" in the eyes of their classmates.\\nTo refute these objections, consider the type of argument you want to make. If you're making a logical argument, use logical refutations. If you're making an emotional argument, use emotional refutations.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Write an introductory paragraph in which you give background on the issue.\", \"描述\": \"Give the important context or information that your readers need to know. End with a thesis statement that tells the reader what you want to persuade her to believe.\\nFor example, if you are writing about the necessity of stopping global warming, you will need to identify what scientists believe are the main causes of it. End with your thesis that states that although it will be difficult to stop global warming, we cannot afford to lose the rich wildlife that global warming is destroying.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Add body paragraphs.\", \"描述\": \"Depending on the instructions in your prompt, provide body paragraphs that give your main arguments. In each paragraph, provide evidence or examples that support your arguments.\\nMost persuasive essays will include at least 3 body paragraphs.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Include a paragraph in which you state the most likely argument or objection of your reader, and then refute it.\", \"描述\": \"This paragraph usually comes right before the conclusion. Use the information from your brainstorming session to refute the point.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Compose a conclusion.\", \"描述\": \"Persuasive conclusions often end by restating the thesis and emphasizing the importance of the argument you have made. You can also include a call to action for the reader, or end with a quotation or question that encourages further thought.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,760 | How to Answer the "What Do You Like About Me" Question (for Men) | 1. Knowing What To Say
1-1. Compliment
Guys have a reputation for being shallow. If you think the person you're with has a "hot body", that's great, but it's not necessary to make that the first or the most important thing that you list when your partner asks.
Try saying what you immediately noticed and then transition into talking about personality: "What I first noticed about you were your eyes, but what I've come to like about you is your great sense of humor. I like how you make me laugh."
When you compliment your partner's appearance, don't talk about body parts, like the size of their "assets." Instead, say, "You look beautiful in that dress." or "You look handsome in that suit." Compliment the style choices they make.
Avoid using crude words at all times. No slang for body parts. It's not funny, and it's not complimentary.
1-2. Compliment your partner's personality.
Your partner wants to know why you like them, not why you're attracted to them. That means you need to go beyond the outside and compliment your partner or crush for what you like on the inside. Here are some good tips:
"I like the way you handle tough situations and stay cool."
"I like the way you care about animals and are light-hearted."
"I like how passionate you are for music."
"I like how you're a great sister/sibling and a great daughter/child to your family."
"I like how you're always there for people who need help."
1-3. Compliment your partner's intelligence.
If you're attracted to your partner's brains, then it's always good to compliment them for it. Compliment your partner for their intelligence and abilities.
"I like how you care about the environment and your footprint in the world."
"I like that you're a good student and you're committed to getting into a good college."
"I like that you're well-read and knowledgeable about many different things."
"I like that you're involved in politics and that you care about making a difference."
1-4. Compliment your partner's skills or talents.
What does your partner do that attracts you to them? What do you like about your partner's unique attributes or abilities? It's always good to receive these kinds of specific and unique compliments:
"I like how hard you work. I have a lot of respect for that."
"This pie you made is killer. I love how talented you are at baking."
"I like your sense of humor. It's so easy to hang out, because you're always cracking me up."
"I love all your hobbies. You're so talented and use your free time so wisely."
1-5. Talk about the way your partner makes you feel.
Compliments will always seem more sincere and more worthwhile if they're connected to your feelings and your personal response and relationship. It's always better than a compliment that could be given to anybody.
"I like how much I like you. I'm crazy about you."
"I like how much you turn me on."
"I like how you make me laugh."
"I like how we can spend time doing nothing together, and it's still exciting."
1-6. Be as specific as possible.
Compliments shouldn't sound like you got them off the Internet. If you want your compliments to ring true, you need to make them specific to your partner and use lots of details to make them really mean something. How to compliment your partner? Compliment your partner.
Instead of saying, "I like your body," say, "I like the way you walk and the way you move. When we're walking through the park and it gets breezy, I like the way you tuck your hair back and keep walking while you do it."
Instead of saying, "I like your personality," say, "I like when I can tell you're getting annoyed with something someone says and you get all fidgety and quiet and shoot me a look. I feel like we're really close when you do that."
Instead of saying, "I like your sense of humor," say something funny with your partner to share in that sense of humor. Say something like, "I like the way you eat peanut butter straight out of the jar when you think no one is looking. It really turns me on," or something else that will make them laugh.
1-7. Just tell the truth.
Most people aren't looking for anything particular when they ask this question, other than the truth. If you like a someone because they make you laugh, tell them. If you like someone because her legs turn you on, tell her. If you like someone, show them the respect that they deserve by telling them what you like about them honestly and specifically. It's not a test that you're expected to pass. It's an honest question and an opportunity to get closer.
2. Knowing How to Say It
2-1. Give compliments
If someone is asking you this question, it might be because you're not forthcoming enough with your compliments, or you're going about your compliments wrong. You shouldn't offer compliments because you're in trouble, or because you're asked. Offer compliments just because.
When's the right time for a compliment? Anytime. If conversation quiets down some and you can't think of much to say, a good compliment will always be appreciated.
If you only ever compliment someone as an apology, then you need to make a habit to be more emotionally present in your relationship. Think about partner's feelings more often.
2-2. Compliment often, but not too often.
A couple of compliments a week will be appreciated, but if all you ever talk about is how much your partner means to you and what you like about every little thing, you might start to seem like more of a drip than a boyfriend. A few well-timed compliments will be better than a constant flood.
Good rule of thumb? Wait until it seems like your partner might need it, but then offer one more every now and then just because.
2-3. Compliment your partner in the moment.
The best way to give a compliment is to make it seem as if you just noticed something and it occurred to you and left your mouth before you could even think twice. If your partner does something you like, compliment them. If you suddenly think, "Jeez, I'm really attracted to their eyes today," then compliment them. There's no time like the present.
2-4. Send compliments
An unexpected compliment can be a great treat throughout the day. Of course, you can overdo it and start to seem sappy, but a few random compliments can be a great way to show your partner that you care.
Text compliments in the middle of the day.
Leave little notes with compliments in your partner's locker, or at home on the fridge.
If you're on the computer, open up a chat window with a random reminder throughout the day. It'll mean a lot.
2-5. Mix it up.
If you're always telling your partner that their butt looks great in those jeans, it'll eventually start to mean nothing. Just as you wouldn't want to eat the same sandwich every day for the next year, you don't want to have the exact same conversation fifty times a month, especially with your partner. Spice it up! Compliment something totally different and make yourself appreciate something else every time you're together. It'll help your relationship grow stronger.
Tips
Try to practice sometime when you are alone. This way when they ask, it won't be out of the blue and you won't stand there stammering.
Always look into their eyes when you answer their question.
Be honest.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:05",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Knowing What To Say\\n1-1. Compliment\\nGuys have a reputation for being shallow. If you think the person you're with has a \\\"hot body\\\", that's great, but it's not necessary to make that the first or the most important thing that you list when your partner asks.\\nTry saying what you immediately noticed and then transition into talking about personality: \\\"What I first noticed about you were your eyes, but what I've come to like about you is your great sense of humor. I like how you make me laugh.\\\"\\nWhen you compliment your partner's appearance, don't talk about body parts, like the size of their \\\"assets.\\\" Instead, say, \\\"You look beautiful in that dress.\\\" or \\\"You look handsome in that suit.\\\" Compliment the style choices they make.\\nAvoid using crude words at all times. No slang for body parts. It's not funny, and it's not complimentary.\\n1-2. Compliment your partner's personality.\\nYour partner wants to know why you like them, not why you're attracted to them. That means you need to go beyond the outside and compliment your partner or crush for what you like on the inside. Here are some good tips:\\n\\\"I like the way you handle tough situations and stay cool.\\\"\\n\\\"I like the way you care about animals and are light-hearted.\\\"\\n\\\"I like how passionate you are for music.\\\"\\n\\\"I like how you're a great sister/sibling and a great daughter/child to your family.\\\"\\n\\\"I like how you're always there for people who need help.\\\"\\n1-3. Compliment your partner's intelligence.\\nIf you're attracted to your partner's brains, then it's always good to compliment them for it. Compliment your partner for their intelligence and abilities.\\n\\\"I like how you care about the environment and your footprint in the world.\\\"\\n\\\"I like that you're a good student and you're committed to getting into a good college.\\\"\\n\\\"I like that you're well-read and knowledgeable about many different things.\\\"\\n\\\"I like that you're involved in politics and that you care about making a difference.\\\"\\n1-4. Compliment your partner's skills or talents.\\nWhat does your partner do that attracts you to them? What do you like about your partner's unique attributes or abilities? It's always good to receive these kinds of specific and unique compliments:\\n\\\"I like how hard you work. I have a lot of respect for that.\\\"\\n\\\"This pie you made is killer. I love how talented you are at baking.\\\"\\n\\\"I like your sense of humor. It's so easy to hang out, because you're always cracking me up.\\\"\\n\\\"I love all your hobbies. You're so talented and use your free time so wisely.\\\"\\n1-5. Talk about the way your partner makes you feel.\\nCompliments will always seem more sincere and more worthwhile if they're connected to your feelings and your personal response and relationship. It's always better than a compliment that could be given to anybody.\\n\\\"I like how much I like you. I'm crazy about you.\\\"\\n\\\"I like how much you turn me on.\\\"\\n\\\"I like how you make me laugh.\\\"\\n\\\"I like how we can spend time doing nothing together, and it's still exciting.\\\"\\n1-6. Be as specific as possible.\\nCompliments shouldn't sound like you got them off the Internet. If you want your compliments to ring true, you need to make them specific to your partner and use lots of details to make them really mean something. How to compliment your partner? Compliment your partner.\\nInstead of saying, \\\"I like your body,\\\" say, \\\"I like the way you walk and the way you move. When we're walking through the park and it gets breezy, I like the way you tuck your hair back and keep walking while you do it.\\\"\\nInstead of saying, \\\"I like your personality,\\\" say, \\\"I like when I can tell you're getting annoyed with something someone says and you get all fidgety and quiet and shoot me a look. I feel like we're really close when you do that.\\\"\\nInstead of saying, \\\"I like your sense of humor,\\\" say something funny with your partner to share in that sense of humor. Say something like, \\\"I like the way you eat peanut butter straight out of the jar when you think no one is looking. It really turns me on,\\\" or something else that will make them laugh.\\n1-7. Just tell the truth.\\nMost people aren't looking for anything particular when they ask this question, other than the truth. If you like a someone because they make you laugh, tell them. If you like someone because her legs turn you on, tell her. If you like someone, show them the respect that they deserve by telling them what you like about them honestly and specifically. It's not a test that you're expected to pass. It's an honest question and an opportunity to get closer.\\n2. Knowing How to Say It\\n2-1. Give compliments\\nIf someone is asking you this question, it might be because you're not forthcoming enough with your compliments, or you're going about your compliments wrong. You shouldn't offer compliments because you're in trouble, or because you're asked. Offer compliments just because.\\nWhen's the right time for a compliment? Anytime. If conversation quiets down some and you can't think of much to say, a good compliment will always be appreciated.\\nIf you only ever compliment someone as an apology, then you need to make a habit to be more emotionally present in your relationship. Think about partner's feelings more often.\\n2-2. Compliment often, but not too often.\\nA couple of compliments a week will be appreciated, but if all you ever talk about is how much your partner means to you and what you like about every little thing, you might start to seem like more of a drip than a boyfriend. A few well-timed compliments will be better than a constant flood.\\nGood rule of thumb? Wait until it seems like your partner might need it, but then offer one more every now and then just because.\\n2-3. Compliment your partner in the moment.\\nThe best way to give a compliment is to make it seem as if you just noticed something and it occurred to you and left your mouth before you could even think twice. If your partner does something you like, compliment them. If you suddenly think, \\\"Jeez, I'm really attracted to their eyes today,\\\" then compliment them. There's no time like the present.\\n2-4. Send compliments\\nAn unexpected compliment can be a great treat throughout the day. Of course, you can overdo it and start to seem sappy, but a few random compliments can be a great way to show your partner that you care.\\nText compliments in the middle of the day.\\nLeave little notes with compliments in your partner's locker, or at home on the fridge.\\nIf you're on the computer, open up a chat window with a random reminder throughout the day. It'll mean a lot.\\n2-5. Mix it up.\\nIf you're always telling your partner that their butt looks great in those jeans, it'll eventually start to mean nothing. Just as you wouldn't want to eat the same sandwich every day for the next year, you don't want to have the exact same conversation fifty times a month, especially with your partner. Spice it up! Compliment something totally different and make yourself appreciate something else every time you're together. It'll help your relationship grow stronger.\\nTips\\nTry to practice sometime when you are alone. This way when they ask, it won't be out of the blue and you won't stand there stammering.\\nAlways look into their eyes when you answer their question.\\nBe honest.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It's important to offer regular compliments to help your relationship grow and stay strong. Mutual attraction is how relationships get started, but it takes work to make them last. If you want to learn how to offer little compliments to do some of that work, you can learn what to say and how to say it.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Knowing What To Say\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Compliment\", \"描述\": \"Guys have a reputation for being shallow. If you think the person you're with has a \\\"hot body\\\", that's great, but it's not necessary to make that the first or the most important thing that you list when your partner asks.\\nTry saying what you immediately noticed and then transition into talking about personality: \\\"What I first noticed about you were your eyes, but what I've come to like about you is your great sense of humor. I like how you make me laugh.\\\"\\nWhen you compliment your partner's appearance, don't talk about body parts, like the size of their \\\"assets.\\\" Instead, say, \\\"You look beautiful in that dress.\\\" or \\\"You look handsome in that suit.\\\" Compliment the style choices they make.\\nAvoid using crude words at all times. No slang for body parts. It's not funny, and it's not complimentary.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Compliment your partner's personality.\", \"描述\": \"Your partner wants to know why you like them, not why you're attracted to them. That means you need to go beyond the outside and compliment your partner or crush for what you like on the inside. Here are some good tips:\\n\\\"I like the way you handle tough situations and stay cool.\\\"\\n\\\"I like the way you care about animals and are light-hearted.\\\"\\n\\\"I like how passionate you are for music.\\\"\\n\\\"I like how you're a great sister/sibling and a great daughter/child to your family.\\\"\\n\\\"I like how you're always there for people who need help.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Compliment your partner's intelligence.\", \"描述\": \"If you're attracted to your partner's brains, then it's always good to compliment them for it. Compliment your partner for their intelligence and abilities.\\n\\\"I like how you care about the environment and your footprint in the world.\\\"\\n\\\"I like that you're a good student and you're committed to getting into a good college.\\\"\\n\\\"I like that you're well-read and knowledgeable about many different things.\\\"\\n\\\"I like that you're involved in politics and that you care about making a difference.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Compliment your partner's skills or talents.\", \"描述\": \"What does your partner do that attracts you to them? What do you like about your partner's unique attributes or abilities? It's always good to receive these kinds of specific and unique compliments:\\n\\\"I like how hard you work. I have a lot of respect for that.\\\"\\n\\\"This pie you made is killer. I love how talented you are at baking.\\\"\\n\\\"I like your sense of humor. It's so easy to hang out, because you're always cracking me up.\\\"\\n\\\"I love all your hobbies. You're so talented and use your free time so wisely.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Talk about the way your partner makes you feel.\", \"描述\": \"Compliments will always seem more sincere and more worthwhile if they're connected to your feelings and your personal response and relationship. It's always better than a compliment that could be given to anybody.\\n\\\"I like how much I like you. I'm crazy about you.\\\"\\n\\\"I like how much you turn me on.\\\"\\n\\\"I like how you make me laugh.\\\"\\n\\\"I like how we can spend time doing nothing together, and it's still exciting.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be as specific as possible.\", \"描述\": \"Compliments shouldn't sound like you got them off the Internet. If you want your compliments to ring true, you need to make them specific to your partner and use lots of details to make them really mean something. How to compliment your partner? Compliment your partner.\\nInstead of saying, \\\"I like your body,\\\" say, \\\"I like the way you walk and the way you move. When we're walking through the park and it gets breezy, I like the way you tuck your hair back and keep walking while you do it.\\\"\\nInstead of saying, \\\"I like your personality,\\\" say, \\\"I like when I can tell you're getting annoyed with something someone says and you get all fidgety and quiet and shoot me a look. I feel like we're really close when you do that.\\\"\\nInstead of saying, \\\"I like your sense of humor,\\\" say something funny with your partner to share in that sense of humor. Say something like, \\\"I like the way you eat peanut butter straight out of the jar when you think no one is looking. It really turns me on,\\\" or something else that will make them laugh.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Just tell the truth.\", \"描述\": \"Most people aren't looking for anything particular when they ask this question, other than the truth. If you like a someone because they make you laugh, tell them. If you like someone because her legs turn you on, tell her. If you like someone, show them the respect that they deserve by telling them what you like about them honestly and specifically. It's not a test that you're expected to pass. It's an honest question and an opportunity to get closer.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Knowing How to Say It\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give compliments\", \"描述\": \"If someone is asking you this question, it might be because you're not forthcoming enough with your compliments, or you're going about your compliments wrong. You shouldn't offer compliments because you're in trouble, or because you're asked. Offer compliments just because.\\nWhen's the right time for a compliment? Anytime. If conversation quiets down some and you can't think of much to say, a good compliment will always be appreciated.\\nIf you only ever compliment someone as an apology, then you need to make a habit to be more emotionally present in your relationship. Think about partner's feelings more often.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Compliment often, but not too often.\", \"描述\": \"A couple of compliments a week will be appreciated, but if all you ever talk about is how much your partner means to you and what you like about every little thing, you might start to seem like more of a drip than a boyfriend. A few well-timed compliments will be better than a constant flood.\\nGood rule of thumb? Wait until it seems like your partner might need it, but then offer one more every now and then just because.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Compliment your partner in the moment.\", \"描述\": \"The best way to give a compliment is to make it seem as if you just noticed something and it occurred to you and left your mouth before you could even think twice. If your partner does something you like, compliment them. If you suddenly think, \\\"Jeez, I'm really attracted to their eyes today,\\\" then compliment them. There's no time like the present.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Send compliments\", \"描述\": \"An unexpected compliment can be a great treat throughout the day. Of course, you can overdo it and start to seem sappy, but a few random compliments can be a great way to show your partner that you care.\\nText compliments in the middle of the day.\\nLeave little notes with compliments in your partner's locker, or at home on the fridge.\\nIf you're on the computer, open up a chat window with a random reminder throughout the day. It'll mean a lot.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Mix it up.\", \"描述\": \"If you're always telling your partner that their butt looks great in those jeans, it'll eventually start to mean nothing. Just as you wouldn't want to eat the same sandwich every day for the next year, you don't want to have the exact same conversation fifty times a month, especially with your partner. Spice it up! Compliment something totally different and make yourself appreciate something else every time you're together. It'll help your relationship grow stronger.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Try to practice sometime when you are alone. This way when they ask, it won't be out of the blue and you won't stand there stammering.\\n\", \"Always look into their eyes when you answer their question.\\n\", \"Be honest.\\n\"]}]}}",
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1,761 | How to Answer the Door Safely | 1. Determining Who's Knocking
1-1. Ask yourself who could be knocking on your door.
Try to remember if any friends or family were scheduled to stop by. Check your calendar to see if you made an appointment for someone to come work on your plumbing, electric, or some other maintenance issue. You might be forgetting about plans you made with someone.
1-2. Look through the peephole.
Try to get a glimpse of whoever's knocking. If you don't recognize the person on the other side of the door, don't open it yet.
1-3. Look through a window if you don't have a peephole.
Go up to a window near the door and see if you can make out whoever's knocking. Don't open the door if you're not confident you know the person.
If you can't see the person knocking through a window, try to get a glimpse of their car. You might recognize it as a friend's or family member's vehicle, or it could have the name of a utility company or other business on it.
1-4. Ask who's there.
If you don't recognize the person knocking on your door, or you don't have a peephole and you can't see them through a window, ask who's knocking. Stand close to the door so you can hear their response clearly. If you don't recognize their voice or you're still not sure who they are after they tell you, don't open the door.
For example, you can go up to the door and ask: “Who is it?” or “Can I help you?”
If you have an intercom system hooked up to your front door, use it to talk to the person knocking so you can hear them more clearly.
1-5. Ignore them if you're unsure.
Don't answer the door unless you're confident the person on the other side is who they say they are. If you're not sure, ignore the knocking until the person leaves. Don't worry about accidentally ignoring a friend or neighbor -- if it's someone you know that needs to get in touch with you, they'll call you on the phone.
1-6. Call the police
If the knocking persists or you feel like you're in danger, call the police. Don't answer the door until the police arrive. Let the person on the other side of the door know that you've contacted the police and they're on their way.
2. Answering the Door
2-1. Open the door a crack if you have a security door or chain lock.
Don't do this unless you have something separating you from the person knocking, as they could forcefully push themselves in once you've unlocked and opened the door.
2-2. Ask to see their credentials.
If the person knocking is someone you don't recognize and they're claiming to be a police officer or utility worker, ask them to show you the proper badge or paperwork to prove their identity. Grab their credentials through the crack in your door or examine them closely through the security door to see if they're valid.
2-3. Look for signs that they aren't who they say they are.
Be skeptical of wrinkled or dirty uniforms. If someone is claiming to be a police officer, check to see that their police badge isn't a fake and that they have the proper police gear like a hat, radio, and utility belt. If you see anything that looks off, call the company the person claims to be with or contact the police and ask them to verify their identity.
2-4. Offer to call for help if someone is hurt or their car is broken down.
Have them wait outside while you make the call and don't open the door. Don't feel pressured to let them inside while you place the call.
You can say to the person outside: “I just called for an ambulance/tow truck. They'll be here any minute to help you.”
2-5. Open the door once you're confident it's safe.
If you've determined the person outside has a valid reason for being there, go ahead and open the door. Let them in if they need to come inside, but keep an eye out for any suspicious activity once they're in your home.
2-6. Leave immediately if you feel like you're in danger.
If you notice something suspicious or your feel uncomfortable at any time after you let someone in your home, leave immediately. Go to your neighbor's house or a safe public place and call the police.
Tips
Install a peephole in your door to make it easier to identify visitors.
Install a camera on your front porch so you can monitor who comes and goes from your home.
Always have a phone nearby to call emergency services.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Determining Who's Knocking\\n1-1. Ask yourself who could be knocking on your door.\\nTry to remember if any friends or family were scheduled to stop by. Check your calendar to see if you made an appointment for someone to come work on your plumbing, electric, or some other maintenance issue. You might be forgetting about plans you made with someone.\\n1-2. Look through the peephole.\\nTry to get a glimpse of whoever's knocking. If you don't recognize the person on the other side of the door, don't open it yet.\\n1-3. Look through a window if you don't have a peephole.\\nGo up to a window near the door and see if you can make out whoever's knocking. Don't open the door if you're not confident you know the person.\\nIf you can't see the person knocking through a window, try to get a glimpse of their car. You might recognize it as a friend's or family member's vehicle, or it could have the name of a utility company or other business on it.\\n1-4. Ask who's there.\\nIf you don't recognize the person knocking on your door, or you don't have a peephole and you can't see them through a window, ask who's knocking. Stand close to the door so you can hear their response clearly. If you don't recognize their voice or you're still not sure who they are after they tell you, don't open the door.\\nFor example, you can go up to the door and ask: “Who is it?” or “Can I help you?”\\nIf you have an intercom system hooked up to your front door, use it to talk to the person knocking so you can hear them more clearly.\\n1-5. Ignore them if you're unsure.\\nDon't answer the door unless you're confident the person on the other side is who they say they are. If you're not sure, ignore the knocking until the person leaves. Don't worry about accidentally ignoring a friend or neighbor -- if it's someone you know that needs to get in touch with you, they'll call you on the phone.\\n1-6. Call the police\\nIf the knocking persists or you feel like you're in danger, call the police. Don't answer the door until the police arrive. Let the person on the other side of the door know that you've contacted the police and they're on their way.\\n2. Answering the Door\\n2-1. Open the door a crack if you have a security door or chain lock.\\nDon't do this unless you have something separating you from the person knocking, as they could forcefully push themselves in once you've unlocked and opened the door.\\n2-2. Ask to see their credentials.\\nIf the person knocking is someone you don't recognize and they're claiming to be a police officer or utility worker, ask them to show you the proper badge or paperwork to prove their identity. Grab their credentials through the crack in your door or examine them closely through the security door to see if they're valid.\\n2-3. Look for signs that they aren't who they say they are.\\nBe skeptical of wrinkled or dirty uniforms. If someone is claiming to be a police officer, check to see that their police badge isn't a fake and that they have the proper police gear like a hat, radio, and utility belt. If you see anything that looks off, call the company the person claims to be with or contact the police and ask them to verify their identity.\\n2-4. Offer to call for help if someone is hurt or their car is broken down.\\nHave them wait outside while you make the call and don't open the door. Don't feel pressured to let them inside while you place the call.\\nYou can say to the person outside: “I just called for an ambulance/tow truck. They'll be here any minute to help you.”\\n2-5. Open the door once you're confident it's safe.\\nIf you've determined the person outside has a valid reason for being there, go ahead and open the door. Let them in if they need to come inside, but keep an eye out for any suspicious activity once they're in your home.\\n2-6. Leave immediately if you feel like you're in danger.\\nIf you notice something suspicious or your feel uncomfortable at any time after you let someone in your home, leave immediately. Go to your neighbor's house or a safe public place and call the police.\\nTips\\nInstall a peephole in your door to make it easier to identify visitors.\\nInstall a camera on your front porch so you can monitor who comes and goes from your home.\\nAlways have a phone nearby to call emergency services.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It can be scary when you hear a sudden knock on your door and you aren't expecting anyone. It's hard to know what to do in that situation, and your instinct might be to just open the door and see who it is. But for your safety, it's important you take a few precautions when an unknown visitor comes knocking at your door. By checking to see who's there and verifying their story before you open the door, you can keep yourself and anyone else at home with you safe.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determining Who's Knocking\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask yourself who could be knocking on your door.\", \"描述\": \"Try to remember if any friends or family were scheduled to stop by. Check your calendar to see if you made an appointment for someone to come work on your plumbing, electric, or some other maintenance issue. You might be forgetting about plans you made with someone.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Look through the peephole.\", \"描述\": \"Try to get a glimpse of whoever's knocking. If you don't recognize the person on the other side of the door, don't open it yet.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Look through a window if you don't have a peephole.\", \"描述\": \"Go up to a window near the door and see if you can make out whoever's knocking. Don't open the door if you're not confident you know the person.\\nIf you can't see the person knocking through a window, try to get a glimpse of their car. You might recognize it as a friend's or family member's vehicle, or it could have the name of a utility company or other business on it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask who's there.\", \"描述\": \"If you don't recognize the person knocking on your door, or you don't have a peephole and you can't see them through a window, ask who's knocking. Stand close to the door so you can hear their response clearly. If you don't recognize their voice or you're still not sure who they are after they tell you, don't open the door.\\nFor example, you can go up to the door and ask: “Who is it?” or “Can I help you?”\\nIf you have an intercom system hooked up to your front door, use it to talk to the person knocking so you can hear them more clearly.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ignore them if you're unsure.\", \"描述\": \"Don't answer the door unless you're confident the person on the other side is who they say they are. If you're not sure, ignore the knocking until the person leaves. Don't worry about accidentally ignoring a friend or neighbor -- if it's someone you know that needs to get in touch with you, they'll call you on the phone.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Call the police\", \"描述\": \"If the knocking persists or you feel like you're in danger, call the police. Don't answer the door until the police arrive. Let the person on the other side of the door know that you've contacted the police and they're on their way.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Answering the Door\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open the door a crack if you have a security door or chain lock.\", \"描述\": \"Don't do this unless you have something separating you from the person knocking, as they could forcefully push themselves in once you've unlocked and opened the door.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask to see their credentials.\", \"描述\": \"If the person knocking is someone you don't recognize and they're claiming to be a police officer or utility worker, ask them to show you the proper badge or paperwork to prove their identity. Grab their credentials through the crack in your door or examine them closely through the security door to see if they're valid.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Look for signs that they aren't who they say they are.\", \"描述\": \"Be skeptical of wrinkled or dirty uniforms. If someone is claiming to be a police officer, check to see that their police badge isn't a fake and that they have the proper police gear like a hat, radio, and utility belt. If you see anything that looks off, call the company the person claims to be with or contact the police and ask them to verify their identity.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Offer to call for help if someone is hurt or their car is broken down.\", \"描述\": \"Have them wait outside while you make the call and don't open the door. Don't feel pressured to let them inside while you place the call.\\nYou can say to the person outside: “I just called for an ambulance/tow truck. They'll be here any minute to help you.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Open the door once you're confident it's safe.\", \"描述\": \"If you've determined the person outside has a valid reason for being there, go ahead and open the door. Let them in if they need to come inside, but keep an eye out for any suspicious activity once they're in your home.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Leave immediately if you feel like you're in danger.\", \"描述\": \"If you notice something suspicious or your feel uncomfortable at any time after you let someone in your home, leave immediately. Go to your neighbor's house or a safe public place and call the police.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Install a peephole in your door to make it easier to identify visitors.\\n\", \"Install a camera on your front porch so you can monitor who comes and goes from your home.\\n\", \"Always have a phone nearby to call emergency services.\\n\"]}]}}",
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1,762 | How to Answer the Fool (Christian Perspective) | 1. Examining the Text
1-1. Understand who "fool" refers to.
In this context, a "fool" does not refer to someone who lacks common sense or academic wisdom. The term is used here to describe someone who lacks spiritual sense.
The sort of wisdom mentioned in the Proverbs is almost never the intellectual kind. Most of the book is concerned with the knowledge of living morally. As such, a fool in Proverbs is someone who rejects spiritual and moral truth.
Elsewhere in Proverbs, the fool is described as someone who finds pleasure in misconduct (10:23), lacks integrity (19:1), is dangerous (17:12), and is unreliable (26:6), among other things.
1-2. Consider the paradox.
One statement says not to answer the fool, yet the one immediately following it says to answer the fool. The two instructions seem to contradict each other at first glance, but when examined on a deeper level, they actually do work together.
The fact that these statements are found side-by-side reflects a type of parallel language used throughout the Old Testament. In essence, the second statement is meant to build upon the first.
This set of verses simply means that there are times when you should answer the fool and those when you should not.
The statement, "do not answer the fool according to his folly, lest you also be like him," suggests that you should not answer when doing so would make you as foolish as your opponent.
The second statement in the pair, "Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes," explains that you should answer when doing so would correct your opponent and show the inaccuracy of his or her argument.
1-3. Allow God to guide you.
Knowing when to answer the fool and when to remain silent can be difficult, even for the most practiced apologists. Prayerfully consider the circumstances of each instance before making a move to help you determine the best way to respond.
It is worth noting that this passage refers specifically to the practice of answering, not approaching. In other words, the principles here should be applied to situations in which the fool makes a challenge or inquiry with the intention of forcing your reply.
2. When Not to Answer the Fool
2-1. Be wary of antagonistic attacks.
There are times when someone may launch an attack full of malice for the sake of humiliating or infuriating you. These individuals usually have no intention of listening to any counterarguments, no matter how sound they might be, and answering them would be a futile effort.
Luke 23:7-12 illustrates an example of such an attack. When Jesus was on trial before Herod, Herod "questioned [Jesus] with many words, but [Jesus] answered him nothing" (23:9, NKJV). Herod intended to make a spectacle of Jesus and had no real interest in the truth. Answering Herod under these conditions would have been futile and degrading, so Jesus remained silent.
2-2. Consider the significance.
On some instances, the matter being brought up might be too important to ignore, regardless of the opponent's attitude. Oftentimes, though, the topic at hand might be relatively inconsequential and not important enough to address.
One major issue would be the existence of God. Someone who tries to tell you that there is no God will need to be answered, even if the conversation is brief. Once you've stated the truth and have determined that the conversation is going nowhere good, however, stop before being dragged down to your opponent's level.
On the other hand, a minor issue might include some controversial point of denominational doctrine not specifically addressed by the Bible. A fool who attempts to make a mountain out of a molehill can often be neglected from the start.
2-3. Let the opponent rant.
When you determine that the best course of action is to remain silent, you may still have no option but to listen to the opponent's rants and attacks. It can be infuriating, but letting him or her ramble on will often be a better option than attempting to silence your opponent.
Don't be surprised if the fool attempts to abuse or agitate you into a response.
In such circumstances, your attacker is usually more interested in antagonizing you than in discovering or sharing any genuine truth. This vitriol can be caused by many different underlying reasons, but regardless of the cause, the result is the same.
2-4. Keep calm
The fool might try goading you into losing your temper. If you join your opponent at his or her level, though, you will become just as foolish. That won't do anyone any good.
Responding to the fool using his or her tactics will drag you down to the same level. Using abusive language will invite hatred and disrespect into your heart. Once you become a hateful person, you become just as morally deprived, or foolish, as your opponent.
Additionally, refusing to respond to the fool deprives him or her of the fuel needed to spread the attack. Someone who only wants to anger you will usually stop once he or she realizes that the attack isn't accomplishing its goal.
2-5. Remain cautious yet open
God can change hearts and minds, and someone who is an unanswerable fool today may not be one tomorrow. Don't write someone off completely after one negative incident.
Approach future confrontations with this sort of individual cautiously, but with an understanding that your opponent's attitude may one day change for the better. Recall the changes that God has made in your heart and mind throughout your own life. That alone should be proof that God can soften hearts and open minds.
3. When to Answer the Fool
3-1. Identify sincere inquiries
Sometimes, the fool is unknowingly misinformed instead of being willfully ignorant. He or she may confront you with frustration, but not with hatred. These are usually the people you need to respond to.
It is possible that the person speaking to you has never heard the truth. The opportunities may have been there if he or she had sought them out, but if no one has tried to engage your opponent on such matters in the past, it's very possible that he or she never saw the purpose in looking for the answers without external prompting.
Pay attention to the way the argument is presented. Polite language and statements that seem thought-out are usually promising signs that the person you're speaking with is making a sincere effort to converse with you. On the other hand, personal attacks, rude language, and arguments that seem like nothing more than rehearsed lines are generally signs of a closed-minded fool who isn't worth answering.
3-2. Speak up for the sake of truth
If keeping silence can be misinterpreted as agreement with a foolish argument, you need to speak up. This is true regardless of your opponent's attitude.
For instance, when you're amidst a group of people and your opponent follows a morally deprived declaration with a statement like, “I'm sure you all get what I mean,” that would be a time to voice your objections.
3-3. Respond with intelligence and love
When you choose to answer the fool, you will need to do so with the intention of correcting misunderstandings and misinformation. Your own attitude can be just as important as your opponent's attitude, and responding out of a desire to humiliate or infuriate is the wrong way to go about things.
This doesn't mean that your words will always be sweet, though. Conviction and correction can be harsh. Hard words spoken in tough love can be beneficial, though, while hard words spoken in anger and hatred can only destroy.
3-4. Consider the crowd
When others are reading or listening to your debate, you need to consider how the things you say will affect them, too. There are times when your opponent may no longer accept arguments based in reason, but if your words are reaching an onlooker, continuing to speak might still be worthwhile.
Those who don't have an emotional investment in the argument are more likely to perceive truth and foolishness correctly, even if they don't have a solid understanding of moral truth yet. If you behave with dignity and speak with reason while your opponent speaks irrationally and displays appalling behavior, you will leave a better impression with unbiased onlookers, and your argument will appear more sound than your opponent's.
3-5. Persist where truth prevails
If you are making any progress in correcting your opponent's foolishness—even if it is only a frustratingly small amount of progress—continuing the discussion is often in everyone's best interest.
For example, if you've been having a civil conversation via e-mail over the past month and your opponent has acknowledged, once or twice, that you've made a point he or she cannot argue against, it could be a sign that you're gradually getting through to that person. As long as the conversation doesn't take a turn for the worse, it might be worthwhile to continue it, even though it appears to drag on endlessly.
3-6. Know when to walk away
Even a discussion that started in an appropriate manner can sour and take a turn for the worse. Once it becomes clear that further conversation will be useless, you will probably need to walk away from it.
Walking away from a specific person or specific conversation once doesn't mean that you can never return to it. If the matter comes up again under better, calmer circumstances, both of you may wish to continue where you left off, and doing so may not be a bad idea.
Tips
Be Honest Without Being Harsh as this will get the message across without making you seem like the bad person.
Avoid uncomfortable conversations about Religion when you are not ready to handle them patiently.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:05",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Examining the Text\\n1-1. Understand who \\\"fool\\\" refers to.\\nIn this context, a \\\"fool\\\" does not refer to someone who lacks common sense or academic wisdom. The term is used here to describe someone who lacks spiritual sense.\\nThe sort of wisdom mentioned in the Proverbs is almost never the intellectual kind. Most of the book is concerned with the knowledge of living morally. As such, a fool in Proverbs is someone who rejects spiritual and moral truth.\\nElsewhere in Proverbs, the fool is described as someone who finds pleasure in misconduct (10:23), lacks integrity (19:1), is dangerous (17:12), and is unreliable (26:6), among other things.\\n1-2. Consider the paradox.\\nOne statement says not to answer the fool, yet the one immediately following it says to answer the fool. The two instructions seem to contradict each other at first glance, but when examined on a deeper level, they actually do work together.\\nThe fact that these statements are found side-by-side reflects a type of parallel language used throughout the Old Testament. In essence, the second statement is meant to build upon the first.\\nThis set of verses simply means that there are times when you should answer the fool and those when you should not.\\nThe statement, \\\"do not answer the fool according to his folly, lest you also be like him,\\\" suggests that you should not answer when doing so would make you as foolish as your opponent.\\nThe second statement in the pair, \\\"Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes,\\\" explains that you should answer when doing so would correct your opponent and show the inaccuracy of his or her argument.\\n1-3. Allow God to guide you.\\nKnowing when to answer the fool and when to remain silent can be difficult, even for the most practiced apologists. Prayerfully consider the circumstances of each instance before making a move to help you determine the best way to respond.\\nIt is worth noting that this passage refers specifically to the practice of answering, not approaching. In other words, the principles here should be applied to situations in which the fool makes a challenge or inquiry with the intention of forcing your reply.\\n2. When Not to Answer the Fool\\n2-1. Be wary of antagonistic attacks.\\nThere are times when someone may launch an attack full of malice for the sake of humiliating or infuriating you. These individuals usually have no intention of listening to any counterarguments, no matter how sound they might be, and answering them would be a futile effort.\\nLuke 23:7-12 illustrates an example of such an attack. When Jesus was on trial before Herod, Herod \\\"questioned [Jesus] with many words, but [Jesus] answered him nothing\\\" (23:9, NKJV). Herod intended to make a spectacle of Jesus and had no real interest in the truth. Answering Herod under these conditions would have been futile and degrading, so Jesus remained silent.\\n2-2. Consider the significance.\\nOn some instances, the matter being brought up might be too important to ignore, regardless of the opponent's attitude. Oftentimes, though, the topic at hand might be relatively inconsequential and not important enough to address.\\nOne major issue would be the existence of God. Someone who tries to tell you that there is no God will need to be answered, even if the conversation is brief. Once you've stated the truth and have determined that the conversation is going nowhere good, however, stop before being dragged down to your opponent's level.\\nOn the other hand, a minor issue might include some controversial point of denominational doctrine not specifically addressed by the Bible. A fool who attempts to make a mountain out of a molehill can often be neglected from the start.\\n2-3. Let the opponent rant.\\nWhen you determine that the best course of action is to remain silent, you may still have no option but to listen to the opponent's rants and attacks. It can be infuriating, but letting him or her ramble on will often be a better option than attempting to silence your opponent.\\nDon't be surprised if the fool attempts to abuse or agitate you into a response.\\nIn such circumstances, your attacker is usually more interested in antagonizing you than in discovering or sharing any genuine truth. This vitriol can be caused by many different underlying reasons, but regardless of the cause, the result is the same.\\n2-4. Keep calm\\nThe fool might try goading you into losing your temper. If you join your opponent at his or her level, though, you will become just as foolish. That won't do anyone any good.\\nResponding to the fool using his or her tactics will drag you down to the same level. Using abusive language will invite hatred and disrespect into your heart. Once you become a hateful person, you become just as morally deprived, or foolish, as your opponent.\\nAdditionally, refusing to respond to the fool deprives him or her of the fuel needed to spread the attack. Someone who only wants to anger you will usually stop once he or she realizes that the attack isn't accomplishing its goal.\\n2-5. Remain cautious yet open\\nGod can change hearts and minds, and someone who is an unanswerable fool today may not be one tomorrow. Don't write someone off completely after one negative incident.\\nApproach future confrontations with this sort of individual cautiously, but with an understanding that your opponent's attitude may one day change for the better. Recall the changes that God has made in your heart and mind throughout your own life. That alone should be proof that God can soften hearts and open minds.\\n3. When to Answer the Fool\\n3-1. Identify sincere inquiries\\nSometimes, the fool is unknowingly misinformed instead of being willfully ignorant. He or she may confront you with frustration, but not with hatred. These are usually the people you need to respond to.\\nIt is possible that the person speaking to you has never heard the truth. The opportunities may have been there if he or she had sought them out, but if no one has tried to engage your opponent on such matters in the past, it's very possible that he or she never saw the purpose in looking for the answers without external prompting.\\nPay attention to the way the argument is presented. Polite language and statements that seem thought-out are usually promising signs that the person you're speaking with is making a sincere effort to converse with you. On the other hand, personal attacks, rude language, and arguments that seem like nothing more than rehearsed lines are generally signs of a closed-minded fool who isn't worth answering.\\n3-2. Speak up for the sake of truth\\nIf keeping silence can be misinterpreted as agreement with a foolish argument, you need to speak up. This is true regardless of your opponent's attitude.\\nFor instance, when you're amidst a group of people and your opponent follows a morally deprived declaration with a statement like, “I'm sure you all get what I mean,” that would be a time to voice your objections.\\n3-3. Respond with intelligence and love\\nWhen you choose to answer the fool, you will need to do so with the intention of correcting misunderstandings and misinformation. Your own attitude can be just as important as your opponent's attitude, and responding out of a desire to humiliate or infuriate is the wrong way to go about things.\\nThis doesn't mean that your words will always be sweet, though. Conviction and correction can be harsh. Hard words spoken in tough love can be beneficial, though, while hard words spoken in anger and hatred can only destroy.\\n3-4. Consider the crowd\\nWhen others are reading or listening to your debate, you need to consider how the things you say will affect them, too. There are times when your opponent may no longer accept arguments based in reason, but if your words are reaching an onlooker, continuing to speak might still be worthwhile.\\nThose who don't have an emotional investment in the argument are more likely to perceive truth and foolishness correctly, even if they don't have a solid understanding of moral truth yet. If you behave with dignity and speak with reason while your opponent speaks irrationally and displays appalling behavior, you will leave a better impression with unbiased onlookers, and your argument will appear more sound than your opponent's.\\n3-5. Persist where truth prevails\\nIf you are making any progress in correcting your opponent's foolishness—even if it is only a frustratingly small amount of progress—continuing the discussion is often in everyone's best interest.\\nFor example, if you've been having a civil conversation via e-mail over the past month and your opponent has acknowledged, once or twice, that you've made a point he or she cannot argue against, it could be a sign that you're gradually getting through to that person. As long as the conversation doesn't take a turn for the worse, it might be worthwhile to continue it, even though it appears to drag on endlessly.\\n3-6. Know when to walk away\\nEven a discussion that started in an appropriate manner can sour and take a turn for the worse. Once it becomes clear that further conversation will be useless, you will probably need to walk away from it.\\nWalking away from a specific person or specific conversation once doesn't mean that you can never return to it. If the matter comes up again under better, calmer circumstances, both of you may wish to continue where you left off, and doing so may not be a bad idea.\\nTips\\nBe Honest Without Being Harsh as this will get the message across without making you seem like the bad person.\\nAvoid uncomfortable conversations about Religion when you are not ready to handle them patiently.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Proverbs 26:4-5 explains, \\\"Do not answer a fool according to his folly, lest you also be like him. Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes\\\" (NKJV). These verses may seem confusing at first, but they describe the way that Christians should respond to spiritually foolish arguments and attacks.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Examining the Text\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand who \\\"fool\\\" refers to.\", \"描述\": \"In this context, a \\\"fool\\\" does not refer to someone who lacks common sense or academic wisdom. The term is used here to describe someone who lacks spiritual sense.\\nThe sort of wisdom mentioned in the Proverbs is almost never the intellectual kind. Most of the book is concerned with the knowledge of living morally. As such, a fool in Proverbs is someone who rejects spiritual and moral truth.\\nElsewhere in Proverbs, the fool is described as someone who finds pleasure in misconduct (10:23), lacks integrity (19:1), is dangerous (17:12), and is unreliable (26:6), among other things.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider the paradox.\", \"描述\": \"One statement says not to answer the fool, yet the one immediately following it says to answer the fool. The two instructions seem to contradict each other at first glance, but when examined on a deeper level, they actually do work together.\\nThe fact that these statements are found side-by-side reflects a type of parallel language used throughout the Old Testament. In essence, the second statement is meant to build upon the first.\\nThis set of verses simply means that there are times when you should answer the fool and those when you should not.\\nThe statement, \\\"do not answer the fool according to his folly, lest you also be like him,\\\" suggests that you should not answer when doing so would make you as foolish as your opponent.\\nThe second statement in the pair, \\\"Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes,\\\" explains that you should answer when doing so would correct your opponent and show the inaccuracy of his or her argument.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Allow God to guide you.\", \"描述\": \"Knowing when to answer the fool and when to remain silent can be difficult, even for the most practiced apologists. Prayerfully consider the circumstances of each instance before making a move to help you determine the best way to respond.\\nIt is worth noting that this passage refers specifically to the practice of answering, not approaching. In other words, the principles here should be applied to situations in which the fool makes a challenge or inquiry with the intention of forcing your reply.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"When Not to Answer the Fool\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be wary of antagonistic attacks.\", \"描述\": \"There are times when someone may launch an attack full of malice for the sake of humiliating or infuriating you. These individuals usually have no intention of listening to any counterarguments, no matter how sound they might be, and answering them would be a futile effort.\\nLuke 23:7-12 illustrates an example of such an attack. When Jesus was on trial before Herod, Herod \\\"questioned [Jesus] with many words, but [Jesus] answered him nothing\\\" (23:9, NKJV). Herod intended to make a spectacle of Jesus and had no real interest in the truth. Answering Herod under these conditions would have been futile and degrading, so Jesus remained silent.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider the significance.\", \"描述\": \"On some instances, the matter being brought up might be too important to ignore, regardless of the opponent's attitude. Oftentimes, though, the topic at hand might be relatively inconsequential and not important enough to address.\\nOne major issue would be the existence of God. Someone who tries to tell you that there is no God will need to be answered, even if the conversation is brief. Once you've stated the truth and have determined that the conversation is going nowhere good, however, stop before being dragged down to your opponent's level.\\nOn the other hand, a minor issue might include some controversial point of denominational doctrine not specifically addressed by the Bible. A fool who attempts to make a mountain out of a molehill can often be neglected from the start.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Let the opponent rant.\", \"描述\": \"When you determine that the best course of action is to remain silent, you may still have no option but to listen to the opponent's rants and attacks. It can be infuriating, but letting him or her ramble on will often be a better option than attempting to silence your opponent.\\nDon't be surprised if the fool attempts to abuse or agitate you into a response.\\nIn such circumstances, your attacker is usually more interested in antagonizing you than in discovering or sharing any genuine truth. This vitriol can be caused by many different underlying reasons, but regardless of the cause, the result is the same.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep calm\", \"描述\": \"The fool might try goading you into losing your temper. If you join your opponent at his or her level, though, you will become just as foolish. That won't do anyone any good.\\nResponding to the fool using his or her tactics will drag you down to the same level. Using abusive language will invite hatred and disrespect into your heart. Once you become a hateful person, you become just as morally deprived, or foolish, as your opponent.\\nAdditionally, refusing to respond to the fool deprives him or her of the fuel needed to spread the attack. Someone who only wants to anger you will usually stop once he or she realizes that the attack isn't accomplishing its goal.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Remain cautious yet open\", \"描述\": \"God can change hearts and minds, and someone who is an unanswerable fool today may not be one tomorrow. Don't write someone off completely after one negative incident.\\nApproach future confrontations with this sort of individual cautiously, but with an understanding that your opponent's attitude may one day change for the better. Recall the changes that God has made in your heart and mind throughout your own life. That alone should be proof that God can soften hearts and open minds.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"When to Answer the Fool\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Identify sincere inquiries\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, the fool is unknowingly misinformed instead of being willfully ignorant. He or she may confront you with frustration, but not with hatred. These are usually the people you need to respond to.\\nIt is possible that the person speaking to you has never heard the truth. The opportunities may have been there if he or she had sought them out, but if no one has tried to engage your opponent on such matters in the past, it's very possible that he or she never saw the purpose in looking for the answers without external prompting.\\nPay attention to the way the argument is presented. Polite language and statements that seem thought-out are usually promising signs that the person you're speaking with is making a sincere effort to converse with you. On the other hand, personal attacks, rude language, and arguments that seem like nothing more than rehearsed lines are generally signs of a closed-minded fool who isn't worth answering.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Speak up for the sake of truth\", \"描述\": \"If keeping silence can be misinterpreted as agreement with a foolish argument, you need to speak up. This is true regardless of your opponent's attitude.\\nFor instance, when you're amidst a group of people and your opponent follows a morally deprived declaration with a statement like, “I'm sure you all get what I mean,” that would be a time to voice your objections.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Respond with intelligence and love\", \"描述\": \"When you choose to answer the fool, you will need to do so with the intention of correcting misunderstandings and misinformation. Your own attitude can be just as important as your opponent's attitude, and responding out of a desire to humiliate or infuriate is the wrong way to go about things.\\nThis doesn't mean that your words will always be sweet, though. Conviction and correction can be harsh. Hard words spoken in tough love can be beneficial, though, while hard words spoken in anger and hatred can only destroy.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Consider the crowd\", \"描述\": \"When others are reading or listening to your debate, you need to consider how the things you say will affect them, too. There are times when your opponent may no longer accept arguments based in reason, but if your words are reaching an onlooker, continuing to speak might still be worthwhile.\\nThose who don't have an emotional investment in the argument are more likely to perceive truth and foolishness correctly, even if they don't have a solid understanding of moral truth yet. If you behave with dignity and speak with reason while your opponent speaks irrationally and displays appalling behavior, you will leave a better impression with unbiased onlookers, and your argument will appear more sound than your opponent's.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Persist where truth prevails\", \"描述\": \"If you are making any progress in correcting your opponent's foolishness—even if it is only a frustratingly small amount of progress—continuing the discussion is often in everyone's best interest.\\nFor example, if you've been having a civil conversation via e-mail over the past month and your opponent has acknowledged, once or twice, that you've made a point he or she cannot argue against, it could be a sign that you're gradually getting through to that person. As long as the conversation doesn't take a turn for the worse, it might be worthwhile to continue it, even though it appears to drag on endlessly.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Know when to walk away\", \"描述\": \"Even a discussion that started in an appropriate manner can sour and take a turn for the worse. Once it becomes clear that further conversation will be useless, you will probably need to walk away from it.\\nWalking away from a specific person or specific conversation once doesn't mean that you can never return to it. If the matter comes up again under better, calmer circumstances, both of you may wish to continue where you left off, and doing so may not be a bad idea.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be Honest Without Being Harsh as this will get the message across without making you seem like the bad person.\\n\", \"Avoid uncomfortable conversations about Religion when you are not ready to handle them patiently.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,763 | Answering the Phone: Tech Tips and Etiquette Guide | 1. iPhones
1-1. Swipe the slider right to answer the call if your screen is locked.
When your phone is locked, you’ll see a large slider appear close to the bottom of the screen with the words inside. Drag the slider to the right to accept the call.
Look for the name or number of the caller at the top of the screen so you’ll know who’s calling before you answer.
After you accept the call, put the phone up to your ear and talk into the mic to answer. Or, if you’d rather speak hands-free over speakerphone, tap the button.
1-2. Press the Answer button if the screen is unlocked.
If you get a call when your phone’s screen is active and unlocked, you’ll see a {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/3\/36\/IPhonephone.png","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/3\/36\/IPhonephone.png\/30px-IPhonephone.png","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":460,"bigWidth":30,"bigHeight":30,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>I edited this screenshot of an iOS icon.\n<\/p><p>License: <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\" class=\"external text\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Fair_use\">Fair Use<\/a><br>\n<\/p><\/div>"} on the right side of the screen and a on the left. Tap the to accept the call.
1-3. Say “yes” to answer if you have Siri set up to announce calls.
This setting allows you to answer calls with a voice command. When you get an incoming call, Siri will identify the caller by name or number, then ask you if you want to accept the call. To accept, just say out loud.
If you don’t want to accept the call, say .
1-4. Touch the Decline button to send the call to voicemail.
If you have voicemail set up on your iPhone, your caller will have the option to leave a message even if you reject the call. If your screen is unlocked when the call comes in, touch the to decline the call.
When the screen is unlocked, you can also swipe up on the at the top of the screen to decline the call.
If your phone screen is locked, quickly press the or on your phone 2 times to reject the call.
1-5. Choose Message to answer with a text.
Even if you can’t talk right away, you can still answer the call with a text message. Swipe down on the and select the button to dismiss the call and send a message instead.
If your phone is locked when the call comes in, you should see the button above the slider at the bottom of the screen.
2. Android Phones
2-1. Swipe or tap the Answer button to accept the call.
The right way to answer a call on your Android phone depends on which phone app you’re using. Typically, all you need to do is either tap the button (which typically looks like handheld phone receiver in a green or white circle) or swipe it in a particular direction.
If you have the Google Phone app on your phone, swipe up on the white circle to answer calls if your phone is locked. If it’s unlocked, tap the rectangular button in the call banner.
Some Android phones, such as Samsung devices, have their own phone apps that work a little differently. For instance, on a Samsung phone, you can answer a call by swiping the green button toward the middle of the screen.
2-2. Use Google Assistant to answer with your voice.
If you use the Google Phone app, you can turn on Google Assistant and use it to answer calls hands-free. Just say, and start talking.
2-3. Reject the call to send it to voicemail.
Even if you reject a call, the caller can leave a message if you’ve set up voicemail on your phone. Depending on what kind of Android phone you have, you can usually reject a call by swiping or tapping the red or button.
If you use the Google Phone app, swipe the white call button down to reject an incoming call when your phone screen is locked. If your screen is unlocked, tap .
On a Samsung phone, swipe the red button toward the middle of the screen.
3. Multi-Line Phones
3-1. Lift the receiver if the call is on the primary line.
If you’re answering a landline phone with multiple lines, you can usually answer calls on the main line (Line 1) by simply picking up the receiver and talking. However, check your manual to be sure.
When in doubt, it usually works to press the line button that’s flashing, then pick up the receiver.
3-2. Press the appropriate line button and pick up if it’s another line.
If you notice another line aside from the primary line flashing, press the line button to select it. Then, pick up the receiver and answer the call.
If you press the wrong line button before picking up, you may be able to clear your selection by pressing or on the touchpad, then choosing the correct line number. Other phones have a button for this purpose.
3-3. Touch the speaker button and the correct line button to answer hands-free.
If you want to answer the phone without picking up the receiver, press the button, followed by the flashing line button. Then, start talking.
4. Answering the Phone Professionally
4-1. Answer within the first 3 rings if you can.
Whether you’re picking up the phone at work or answering a personal call, it’s best not to keep your caller waiting. However, answering too quickly can catch a caller off guard. For this reason, some employers recommend waiting until the second ring to pick up.
4-2. Smile before you pick up the phone.
The caller may not be able to see you, but a smile will make your tone of voice sound friendlier. You can even put a sticky note or a small mirror on your desk to remind yourself to smile while you’re talking.
4-3. Greet the caller and introduce yourself.
If you’re answering a personal call, it’s usually enough to just say “Hello.” But when you answer the phone at work, give the caller a little more information so they know they’ve reached the right number. Try saying something like:
“Hello, you’ve reached the billing department, this is Tina.”
“Thank you for calling Bella’s Bagels, this is Bella speaking.”
4-4. Ask how you can help the caller.
Say something like, “How can I help you?” or “What can I do for you today?” Depending on the situation, you can also ask the caller to identify themselves.
For instance, you could say something like, “May I ask who’s calling?” Or, “May I please have your name?”
4-5. Get their permission if you have to put them on hold.
If you’re multi-tasking, you might not be able to talk to a caller right away. Before putting them on hold, greet them politely and say something like, “May I place you on a brief hold?” or “Do you mind holding?”
5. Taking Personal Calls
5-1. Wait until you’re in an appropriate place to answer the call.
For example, if you’re in the middle of a meal with other people or at a theater, it’s better to excuse yourself and go outside or into the lobby before you pick up.
If you’re with another person and you have to answer the call, say something like, “Excuse me, I have to take this.”
When you’re talking in a public place, try not to speak too loudly. Keep the call as brief as possible so you don’t disturb people around you.
5-2. Check the caller ID before you pick up.
Most modern phones have a caller ID feature that can identify callers by name, number, or both. If you know who’s calling, you can use that information to decide how you want to answer the call—or whether to take the call at all.
For example, if it’s your mom calling, you can just pick up and say, “Hey, Mom!” On the other hand, if you see that it’s your boss or your doctor’s office calling, you’ll probably want to go with a more formal greeting.
5-3. Say “Hello” and identify yourself.
No matter who is calling you, answering with “Hello” or “Hi” is a good way to start the conversation. If you want, you can also give your name so the person calling knows they have reached the right number. Say something like, “Hello, this is Fatima,” or “Hi, Fred Jones speaking.”
If you know the person who’s calling, you can skip identifying yourself. Just say something like, “Hi, Mendel, how’s it going?”
If the other person doesn’t give their name, ask them. Say something like, “May I ask who’s calling?”
5-4. Let them know politely if it’s not a good time to talk.
If you feel like it’s important to answer the call, but you can’t actually have a conversation right then and there, let them know. If possible, tell them when would be a good time to chat.
For instance, say something like, “Hi, Kim. I can’t talk right now, but I’ll be free in about an hour. Can I call you back at 2:00?”
Tips
Avoid answering calls from unknown numbers on your personal phone, since the caller may be a scammer. Reject the call or let it go to voicemail. You can always call back if they leave a message identifying themselves.[21]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:05",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. iPhones\\n1-1. Swipe the slider right to answer the call if your screen is locked.\\nWhen your phone is locked, you’ll see a large slider appear close to the bottom of the screen with the words inside. Drag the slider to the right to accept the call.\\nLook for the name or number of the caller at the top of the screen so you’ll know who’s calling before you answer.\\nAfter you accept the call, put the phone up to your ear and talk into the mic to answer. Or, if you’d rather speak hands-free over speakerphone, tap the button.\\n1-2. Press the Answer button if the screen is unlocked.\\nIf you get a call when your phone’s screen is active and unlocked, you’ll see a {\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/3\\\\/36\\\\/IPhonephone.png\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/3\\\\/36\\\\/IPhonephone.png\\\\/30px-IPhonephone.png\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":460,\\\"bigWidth\\\":30,\\\"bigHeight\\\":30,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>I edited this screenshot of an iOS icon.\\\\n<\\\\/p><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"http:\\\\/\\\\/en.wikipedia.org\\\\/wiki\\\\/Fair_use\\\\\\\">Fair Use<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"} on the right side of the screen and a on the left. Tap the to accept the call.\\n1-3. Say “yes” to answer if you have Siri set up to announce calls.\\nThis setting allows you to answer calls with a voice command. When you get an incoming call, Siri will identify the caller by name or number, then ask you if you want to accept the call. To accept, just say out loud.\\nIf you don’t want to accept the call, say .\\n1-4. Touch the Decline button to send the call to voicemail.\\nIf you have voicemail set up on your iPhone, your caller will have the option to leave a message even if you reject the call. If your screen is unlocked when the call comes in, touch the to decline the call.\\nWhen the screen is unlocked, you can also swipe up on the at the top of the screen to decline the call.\\nIf your phone screen is locked, quickly press the or on your phone 2 times to reject the call.\\n1-5. Choose Message to answer with a text.\\nEven if you can’t talk right away, you can still answer the call with a text message. Swipe down on the and select the button to dismiss the call and send a message instead.\\nIf your phone is locked when the call comes in, you should see the button above the slider at the bottom of the screen.\\n2. Android Phones\\n2-1. Swipe or tap the Answer button to accept the call.\\nThe right way to answer a call on your Android phone depends on which phone app you’re using. Typically, all you need to do is either tap the button (which typically looks like handheld phone receiver in a green or white circle) or swipe it in a particular direction.\\nIf you have the Google Phone app on your phone, swipe up on the white circle to answer calls if your phone is locked. If it’s unlocked, tap the rectangular button in the call banner.\\nSome Android phones, such as Samsung devices, have their own phone apps that work a little differently. For instance, on a Samsung phone, you can answer a call by swiping the green button toward the middle of the screen.\\n2-2. Use Google Assistant to answer with your voice.\\nIf you use the Google Phone app, you can turn on Google Assistant and use it to answer calls hands-free. Just say, and start talking.\\n2-3. Reject the call to send it to voicemail.\\nEven if you reject a call, the caller can leave a message if you’ve set up voicemail on your phone. Depending on what kind of Android phone you have, you can usually reject a call by swiping or tapping the red or button.\\nIf you use the Google Phone app, swipe the white call button down to reject an incoming call when your phone screen is locked. If your screen is unlocked, tap .\\nOn a Samsung phone, swipe the red button toward the middle of the screen.\\n3. Multi-Line Phones\\n3-1. Lift the receiver if the call is on the primary line.\\nIf you’re answering a landline phone with multiple lines, you can usually answer calls on the main line (Line 1) by simply picking up the receiver and talking. However, check your manual to be sure.\\nWhen in doubt, it usually works to press the line button that’s flashing, then pick up the receiver.\\n3-2. Press the appropriate line button and pick up if it’s another line.\\nIf you notice another line aside from the primary line flashing, press the line button to select it. Then, pick up the receiver and answer the call.\\nIf you press the wrong line button before picking up, you may be able to clear your selection by pressing or on the touchpad, then choosing the correct line number. Other phones have a button for this purpose.\\n3-3. Touch the speaker button and the correct line button to answer hands-free.\\nIf you want to answer the phone without picking up the receiver, press the button, followed by the flashing line button. Then, start talking.\\n4. Answering the Phone Professionally\\n4-1. Answer within the first 3 rings if you can.\\nWhether you’re picking up the phone at work or answering a personal call, it’s best not to keep your caller waiting. However, answering too quickly can catch a caller off guard. For this reason, some employers recommend waiting until the second ring to pick up.\\n4-2. Smile before you pick up the phone.\\nThe caller may not be able to see you, but a smile will make your tone of voice sound friendlier. You can even put a sticky note or a small mirror on your desk to remind yourself to smile while you’re talking.\\n4-3. Greet the caller and introduce yourself.\\nIf you’re answering a personal call, it’s usually enough to just say “Hello.” But when you answer the phone at work, give the caller a little more information so they know they’ve reached the right number. Try saying something like:\\n“Hello, you’ve reached the billing department, this is Tina.”\\n“Thank you for calling Bella’s Bagels, this is Bella speaking.”\\n4-4. Ask how you can help the caller.\\nSay something like, “How can I help you?” or “What can I do for you today?” Depending on the situation, you can also ask the caller to identify themselves.\\nFor instance, you could say something like, “May I ask who’s calling?” Or, “May I please have your name?”\\n4-5. Get their permission if you have to put them on hold.\\nIf you’re multi-tasking, you might not be able to talk to a caller right away. Before putting them on hold, greet them politely and say something like, “May I place you on a brief hold?” or “Do you mind holding?”\\n5. Taking Personal Calls\\n5-1. Wait until you’re in an appropriate place to answer the call.\\nFor example, if you’re in the middle of a meal with other people or at a theater, it’s better to excuse yourself and go outside or into the lobby before you pick up.\\nIf you’re with another person and you have to answer the call, say something like, “Excuse me, I have to take this.”\\nWhen you’re talking in a public place, try not to speak too loudly. Keep the call as brief as possible so you don’t disturb people around you.\\n5-2. Check the caller ID before you pick up.\\nMost modern phones have a caller ID feature that can identify callers by name, number, or both. If you know who’s calling, you can use that information to decide how you want to answer the call—or whether to take the call at all.\\nFor example, if it’s your mom calling, you can just pick up and say, “Hey, Mom!” On the other hand, if you see that it’s your boss or your doctor’s office calling, you’ll probably want to go with a more formal greeting.\\n5-3. Say “Hello” and identify yourself.\\nNo matter who is calling you, answering with “Hello” or “Hi” is a good way to start the conversation. If you want, you can also give your name so the person calling knows they have reached the right number. Say something like, “Hello, this is Fatima,” or “Hi, Fred Jones speaking.”\\nIf you know the person who’s calling, you can skip identifying yourself. Just say something like, “Hi, Mendel, how’s it going?”\\nIf the other person doesn’t give their name, ask them. Say something like, “May I ask who’s calling?”\\n5-4. Let them know politely if it’s not a good time to talk.\\nIf you feel like it’s important to answer the call, but you can’t actually have a conversation right then and there, let them know. If possible, tell them when would be a good time to chat.\\nFor instance, say something like, “Hi, Kim. I can’t talk right now, but I’ll be free in about an hour. Can I call you back at 2:00?”\\nTips\\nAvoid answering calls from unknown numbers on your personal phone, since the caller may be a scammer. Reject the call or let it go to voicemail. You can always call back if they leave a message identifying themselves.[21]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Whether you’re talking to a friend or picking up calls at work, answering the phone is an important everyday skill. In this article, we’ll talk you through the technical side of answering calls on an iPhone, an Android, or a landline phone. We’ll also go over the basics of how to answer the phone politely and professionally.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"iPhones\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Swipe the slider right to answer the call if your screen is locked.\", \"描述\": \"When your phone is locked, you’ll see a large slider appear close to the bottom of the screen with the words inside. Drag the slider to the right to accept the call.\\nLook for the name or number of the caller at the top of the screen so you’ll know who’s calling before you answer.\\nAfter you accept the call, put the phone up to your ear and talk into the mic to answer. Or, if you’d rather speak hands-free over speakerphone, tap the button.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Press the Answer button if the screen is unlocked.\", \"描述\": \"If you get a call when your phone’s screen is active and unlocked, you’ll see a {\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/3\\\\/36\\\\/IPhonephone.png\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/3\\\\/36\\\\/IPhonephone.png\\\\/30px-IPhonephone.png\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":460,\\\"bigWidth\\\":30,\\\"bigHeight\\\":30,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>I edited this screenshot of an iOS icon.\\\\n<\\\\/p><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"http:\\\\/\\\\/en.wikipedia.org\\\\/wiki\\\\/Fair_use\\\\\\\">Fair Use<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"} on the right side of the screen and a on the left. Tap the to accept the call.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Say “yes” to answer if you have Siri set up to announce calls.\", \"描述\": \"This setting allows you to answer calls with a voice command. When you get an incoming call, Siri will identify the caller by name or number, then ask you if you want to accept the call. To accept, just say out loud.\\nIf you don’t want to accept the call, say .\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Touch the Decline button to send the call to voicemail.\", \"描述\": \"If you have voicemail set up on your iPhone, your caller will have the option to leave a message even if you reject the call. If your screen is unlocked when the call comes in, touch the to decline the call.\\nWhen the screen is unlocked, you can also swipe up on the at the top of the screen to decline the call.\\nIf your phone screen is locked, quickly press the or on your phone 2 times to reject the call.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Choose Message to answer with a text.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you can’t talk right away, you can still answer the call with a text message. Swipe down on the and select the button to dismiss the call and send a message instead.\\nIf your phone is locked when the call comes in, you should see the button above the slider at the bottom of the screen.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Android Phones\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Swipe or tap the Answer button to accept the call.\", \"描述\": \"The right way to answer a call on your Android phone depends on which phone app you’re using. Typically, all you need to do is either tap the button (which typically looks like handheld phone receiver in a green or white circle) or swipe it in a particular direction.\\nIf you have the Google Phone app on your phone, swipe up on the white circle to answer calls if your phone is locked. If it’s unlocked, tap the rectangular button in the call banner.\\nSome Android phones, such as Samsung devices, have their own phone apps that work a little differently. For instance, on a Samsung phone, you can answer a call by swiping the green button toward the middle of the screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use Google Assistant to answer with your voice.\", \"描述\": \"If you use the Google Phone app, you can turn on Google Assistant and use it to answer calls hands-free. Just say, and start talking.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Reject the call to send it to voicemail.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you reject a call, the caller can leave a message if you’ve set up voicemail on your phone. Depending on what kind of Android phone you have, you can usually reject a call by swiping or tapping the red or button.\\nIf you use the Google Phone app, swipe the white call button down to reject an incoming call when your phone screen is locked. If your screen is unlocked, tap .\\nOn a Samsung phone, swipe the red button toward the middle of the screen.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Multi-Line Phones\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Lift the receiver if the call is on the primary line.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re answering a landline phone with multiple lines, you can usually answer calls on the main line (Line 1) by simply picking up the receiver and talking. However, check your manual to be sure.\\nWhen in doubt, it usually works to press the line button that’s flashing, then pick up the receiver.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Press the appropriate line button and pick up if it’s another line.\", \"描述\": \"If you notice another line aside from the primary line flashing, press the line button to select it. Then, pick up the receiver and answer the call.\\nIf you press the wrong line button before picking up, you may be able to clear your selection by pressing or on the touchpad, then choosing the correct line number. Other phones have a button for this purpose.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Touch the speaker button and the correct line button to answer hands-free.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to answer the phone without picking up the receiver, press the button, followed by the flashing line button. Then, start talking.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Answering the Phone Professionally\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Answer within the first 3 rings if you can.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you’re picking up the phone at work or answering a personal call, it’s best not to keep your caller waiting. However, answering too quickly can catch a caller off guard. For this reason, some employers recommend waiting until the second ring to pick up.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Smile before you pick up the phone.\", \"描述\": \"The caller may not be able to see you, but a smile will make your tone of voice sound friendlier. You can even put a sticky note or a small mirror on your desk to remind yourself to smile while you’re talking.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Greet the caller and introduce yourself.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re answering a personal call, it’s usually enough to just say “Hello.” But when you answer the phone at work, give the caller a little more information so they know they’ve reached the right number. Try saying something like:\\n“Hello, you’ve reached the billing department, this is Tina.”\\n“Thank you for calling Bella’s Bagels, this is Bella speaking.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask how you can help the caller.\", \"描述\": \"Say something like, “How can I help you?” or “What can I do for you today?” Depending on the situation, you can also ask the caller to identify themselves.\\nFor instance, you could say something like, “May I ask who’s calling?” Or, “May I please have your name?”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get their permission if you have to put them on hold.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re multi-tasking, you might not be able to talk to a caller right away. Before putting them on hold, greet them politely and say something like, “May I place you on a brief hold?” or “Do you mind holding?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Taking Personal Calls\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wait until you’re in an appropriate place to answer the call.\", \"描述\": \"For example, if you’re in the middle of a meal with other people or at a theater, it’s better to excuse yourself and go outside or into the lobby before you pick up.\\nIf you’re with another person and you have to answer the call, say something like, “Excuse me, I have to take this.”\\nWhen you’re talking in a public place, try not to speak too loudly. Keep the call as brief as possible so you don’t disturb people around you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Check the caller ID before you pick up.\", \"描述\": \"Most modern phones have a caller ID feature that can identify callers by name, number, or both. If you know who’s calling, you can use that information to decide how you want to answer the call—or whether to take the call at all.\\nFor example, if it’s your mom calling, you can just pick up and say, “Hey, Mom!” On the other hand, if you see that it’s your boss or your doctor’s office calling, you’ll probably want to go with a more formal greeting.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Say “Hello” and identify yourself.\", \"描述\": \"No matter who is calling you, answering with “Hello” or “Hi” is a good way to start the conversation. If you want, you can also give your name so the person calling knows they have reached the right number. Say something like, “Hello, this is Fatima,” or “Hi, Fred Jones speaking.”\\nIf you know the person who’s calling, you can skip identifying yourself. Just say something like, “Hi, Mendel, how’s it going?”\\nIf the other person doesn’t give their name, ask them. Say something like, “May I ask who’s calling?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Let them know politely if it’s not a good time to talk.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel like it’s important to answer the call, but you can’t actually have a conversation right then and there, let them know. If possible, tell them when would be a good time to chat.\\nFor instance, say something like, “Hi, Kim. I can’t talk right now, but I’ll be free in about an hour. Can I call you back at 2:00?”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Avoid answering calls from unknown numbers on your personal phone, since the caller may be a scammer. Reject the call or let it go to voicemail. You can always call back if they leave a message identifying themselves.[21]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,764 | How to Answer the Phone Politely | 1. Professional Calls
1-1. It is best to answer the phone after 2 or 3 rings.
If you let it ring more than 3 times, the caller may become impatient and feel that their call is being ignored.
On the other hand, if you pick up after the first ring, the caller may be taken by surprise by the quick answer. They may not have had enough time to formulate their thoughts.
1-2. Prepare a professional greeting.
When you’re answering the phone at your office, you won’t always know who is on the other end of the phone. It could be your boss, a customer, one of your colleagues, or even a wrong number.
A professional greeting like “Good morning” or “How may I help you?” helps get the conversation off on the right foot.
Even if you have caller ID and think it’s a work friend calling, someone could have borrowed their phone, you can never be too sure. Answering the phone with “Yeah, what?” might give callers the wrong impression of you.
1-3. Identify yourself and your organization.
In business situations, it’s most appropriate to answer the phone with your name and company. For example, say “Thank you for calling Smith’s Auto Body. This is Joan, how may I help you?”
Many offices have their own script for answering the phone, so make sure you follow the rules your company has set out. If you're not sure of your company's phone scripting, ask your supervisor.
1-4. Nicely ask who’s calling if you don’t know.
Often, the person will not only give you their name but also provide information about why they’re calling. If you don’t have Caller ID, didn’t recognize the number, or didn’t hear what the person on the other line said, prompt them again by saying “May I ask who’s calling?”
Once the caller has introduced themselves, address the caller properly by the title they provide. If they say their first and last name, and you want to be more professional, call them by their last name.
1-5. Speak directly into the mouthpiece.
Don’t worry about putting the mouthpiece too close to your mouth or having to speak loudly.
If the person you’re speaking to says they cannot hear you very well, you can speak a little louder. Otherwise, keep your voice at a normal conversational level.
1-6. Avoid using slang or profane language.
When you're answering the phone at work, you represent your company to whoever you're speaking with on the phone. Speak politely and avoid using slang, cursing, or bad language. Even if the conversation becomes heated and the person you're speaking with swears, maintain your composure and be polite.
Of course, when you're speaking on your personal phone to friends, you can be informal with them and speak how you would in a face-to-face conversation.
2. Home Phone
2-1. Answer in a quiet environment.
If you’re in a loud environment, move somewhere quieter before answering the phone, or turn down the music or television before answering. You want to be in a place that’s quiet enough so that you can hear the person talking to you, and they can hear your responses.
A quiet environment will also allow you to focus on the caller.
2-2. Stop your other tasks before answering the phone.
Take a brief moment to collect your thoughts before answering. Don’t be distracted, as this could lead to miscommunication between you and the person you're speaking to. If you’re free from distractions, the person you're speaking to will feel that they have your full attention.
For example, if you were typing on your computer or reading a book when the phone rang, stop these tasks and concentrate on the call.
2-3. Say “Hello” and state your name in a pleasant tone of voice.
If you don’t recognize the Caller ID or know who is calling, you can add “This is Sam.” For a more formal answer, you can say, for example “This is the Smiths’ residence.”
If you saw on Caller ID that a friend or family member is calling, feel free to say something like, “Hi Tom! How are you today?”
2-4. Take down the caller's info if the family member they’re trying to reach is unavailable.
If the caller is trying to reach someone who is not home or is unavailable, say “I’m sorry, Mrs. Simpson, my father is not available right now. May I take a message?” Be sure to record the person’s name, phone number, and reason for calling on a notepad in clear, legible handwriting.
If you don’t have a notepad nearby, ask the person on the other line to wait while you quickly go get one.
3. Cell Phone
3-1. Greet the caller in a friendly tone.
When answering a cell phone, Caller ID will typically indicate who is calling you. Say something like, “Hi Steve, how are you?” Even if the number is private or concealed, it’s important to answer the caller in a friendly way. Say, “Hello, may I ask who’s calling?”
Since cell-phone calls tend to be more informal than calls to a business or land line, you don’t need to say your name when answering the call.
3-2. Ask why the person is calling.
If you don’t know the person, be polite by saying “How can I help you today?” or “What can I do for you?” If you do know the person, you can say something like “What’s up?”
Even if you know the caller, avoid answering rudely. Don’t say, “What?” or “What do you want this time?”
3-3. Speak clearly using your normal tone of voice.
Don’t worry about shouting into the mouthpiece or over-enunciating your words. Instead, speak slowly and distinctly. If you're shouting or speaking unnaturally, the person you're speaking to may think you're angry or sick.
If the person on the other end of the line sounds faint, turn up the volume on the side of your cell phone. If they're still faint, ask them to put the mouthpiece closer to their face.
3-4. Don’t answer the phone while chewing gum or food.
If you’re chewing gum or food, take the time before answering to spit it out or swallow it. You want your mouth to be clear and ready for conversation when you answer the phone.
Even if you’re talking to a friend, they may have a hard time understanding you if you have a mouth full of food.
3-5. Don’t talk to people outside of the call until the call is over.
For the duration of the phone call, ignore all outside distractions and give the person on the other side of the line your undivided attention. Don’t talk to or joke with other people, and avoid trying to communicate silently while also talking on the phone.
Even if the person you're on the phone with can't hear the words you're saying to someone in person, they'll be able to tell that you're not focusing fully on the phone conversation.
Tips
Keep a notepad and pen handy by each phone so you won’t need to scramble when you have to take a message.
People you speak to on the phone will remember if you’re courteous. Say “please” whenever making a request. If a caller says “thank you,” follow up with a warm “you’re welcome.”
Warnings
Learn how to get off the phone politely. Try to avoid upsetting people by hanging up abruptly.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:05",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Professional Calls\\n1-1. It is best to answer the phone after 2 or 3 rings.\\nIf you let it ring more than 3 times, the caller may become impatient and feel that their call is being ignored. \\nOn the other hand, if you pick up after the first ring, the caller may be taken by surprise by the quick answer. They may not have had enough time to formulate their thoughts.\\n1-2. Prepare a professional greeting.\\nWhen you’re answering the phone at your office, you won’t always know who is on the other end of the phone. It could be your boss, a customer, one of your colleagues, or even a wrong number.\\nA professional greeting like “Good morning” or “How may I help you?” helps get the conversation off on the right foot.\\nEven if you have caller ID and think it’s a work friend calling, someone could have borrowed their phone, you can never be too sure. Answering the phone with “Yeah, what?” might give callers the wrong impression of you.\\n1-3. Identify yourself and your organization.\\nIn business situations, it’s most appropriate to answer the phone with your name and company. For example, say “Thank you for calling Smith’s Auto Body. This is Joan, how may I help you?”\\nMany offices have their own script for answering the phone, so make sure you follow the rules your company has set out. If you're not sure of your company's phone scripting, ask your supervisor.\\n1-4. Nicely ask who’s calling if you don’t know.\\nOften, the person will not only give you their name but also provide information about why they’re calling. If you don’t have Caller ID, didn’t recognize the number, or didn’t hear what the person on the other line said, prompt them again by saying “May I ask who’s calling?”\\nOnce the caller has introduced themselves, address the caller properly by the title they provide. If they say their first and last name, and you want to be more professional, call them by their last name.\\n1-5. Speak directly into the mouthpiece.\\nDon’t worry about putting the mouthpiece too close to your mouth or having to speak loudly.\\nIf the person you’re speaking to says they cannot hear you very well, you can speak a little louder. Otherwise, keep your voice at a normal conversational level.\\n1-6. Avoid using slang or profane language.\\nWhen you're answering the phone at work, you represent your company to whoever you're speaking with on the phone. Speak politely and avoid using slang, cursing, or bad language. Even if the conversation becomes heated and the person you're speaking with swears, maintain your composure and be polite.\\nOf course, when you're speaking on your personal phone to friends, you can be informal with them and speak how you would in a face-to-face conversation.\\n2. Home Phone\\n2-1. Answer in a quiet environment.\\nIf you’re in a loud environment, move somewhere quieter before answering the phone, or turn down the music or television before answering. You want to be in a place that’s quiet enough so that you can hear the person talking to you, and they can hear your responses. \\nA quiet environment will also allow you to focus on the caller.\\n2-2. Stop your other tasks before answering the phone.\\nTake a brief moment to collect your thoughts before answering. Don’t be distracted, as this could lead to miscommunication between you and the person you're speaking to. If you’re free from distractions, the person you're speaking to will feel that they have your full attention.\\nFor example, if you were typing on your computer or reading a book when the phone rang, stop these tasks and concentrate on the call.\\n2-3. Say “Hello” and state your name in a pleasant tone of voice.\\nIf you don’t recognize the Caller ID or know who is calling, you can add “This is Sam.” For a more formal answer, you can say, for example “This is the Smiths’ residence.”\\nIf you saw on Caller ID that a friend or family member is calling, feel free to say something like, “Hi Tom! How are you today?”\\n2-4. Take down the caller's info if the family member they’re trying to reach is unavailable.\\nIf the caller is trying to reach someone who is not home or is unavailable, say “I’m sorry, Mrs. Simpson, my father is not available right now. May I take a message?” Be sure to record the person’s name, phone number, and reason for calling on a notepad in clear, legible handwriting.\\nIf you don’t have a notepad nearby, ask the person on the other line to wait while you quickly go get one.\\n3. Cell Phone\\n3-1. Greet the caller in a friendly tone.\\nWhen answering a cell phone, Caller ID will typically indicate who is calling you. Say something like, “Hi Steve, how are you?” Even if the number is private or concealed, it’s important to answer the caller in a friendly way. Say, “Hello, may I ask who’s calling?”\\nSince cell-phone calls tend to be more informal than calls to a business or land line, you don’t need to say your name when answering the call.\\n3-2. Ask why the person is calling.\\nIf you don’t know the person, be polite by saying “How can I help you today?” or “What can I do for you?” If you do know the person, you can say something like “What’s up?”\\nEven if you know the caller, avoid answering rudely. Don’t say, “What?” or “What do you want this time?”\\n3-3. Speak clearly using your normal tone of voice.\\nDon’t worry about shouting into the mouthpiece or over-enunciating your words. Instead, speak slowly and distinctly. If you're shouting or speaking unnaturally, the person you're speaking to may think you're angry or sick.\\nIf the person on the other end of the line sounds faint, turn up the volume on the side of your cell phone. If they're still faint, ask them to put the mouthpiece closer to their face.\\n3-4. Don’t answer the phone while chewing gum or food.\\nIf you’re chewing gum or food, take the time before answering to spit it out or swallow it. You want your mouth to be clear and ready for conversation when you answer the phone.\\nEven if you’re talking to a friend, they may have a hard time understanding you if you have a mouth full of food.\\n3-5. Don’t talk to people outside of the call until the call is over.\\nFor the duration of the phone call, ignore all outside distractions and give the person on the other side of the line your undivided attention. Don’t talk to or joke with other people, and avoid trying to communicate silently while also talking on the phone.\\nEven if the person you're on the phone with can't hear the words you're saying to someone in person, they'll be able to tell that you're not focusing fully on the phone conversation.\\nTips\\nKeep a notepad and pen handy by each phone so you won’t need to scramble when you have to take a message.\\nPeople you speak to on the phone will remember if you’re courteous. Say “please” whenever making a request. If a caller says “thank you,” follow up with a warm “you’re welcome.”\\nWarnings\\nLearn how to get off the phone politely. Try to avoid upsetting people by hanging up abruptly.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It is important to have polite and friendly etiquette when answering the phone, especially if you’re speaking to a stranger or talking in a workplace or even from home. When answering the phone, it’s important to know how to answer properly so you don’t start the conversation off on a bad foot. Answer the phone politely by speaking clearly, focusing on the call, and maintaining professionalism.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Professional Calls\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It is best to answer the phone after 2 or 3 rings.\", \"描述\": \"If you let it ring more than 3 times, the caller may become impatient and feel that their call is being ignored. \\nOn the other hand, if you pick up after the first ring, the caller may be taken by surprise by the quick answer. They may not have had enough time to formulate their thoughts.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Prepare a professional greeting.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re answering the phone at your office, you won’t always know who is on the other end of the phone. It could be your boss, a customer, one of your colleagues, or even a wrong number.\\nA professional greeting like “Good morning” or “How may I help you?” helps get the conversation off on the right foot.\\nEven if you have caller ID and think it’s a work friend calling, someone could have borrowed their phone, you can never be too sure. Answering the phone with “Yeah, what?” might give callers the wrong impression of you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Identify yourself and your organization.\", \"描述\": \"In business situations, it’s most appropriate to answer the phone with your name and company. For example, say “Thank you for calling Smith’s Auto Body. This is Joan, how may I help you?”\\nMany offices have their own script for answering the phone, so make sure you follow the rules your company has set out. If you're not sure of your company's phone scripting, ask your supervisor.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Nicely ask who’s calling if you don’t know.\", \"描述\": \"Often, the person will not only give you their name but also provide information about why they’re calling. If you don’t have Caller ID, didn’t recognize the number, or didn’t hear what the person on the other line said, prompt them again by saying “May I ask who’s calling?”\\nOnce the caller has introduced themselves, address the caller properly by the title they provide. If they say their first and last name, and you want to be more professional, call them by their last name.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Speak directly into the mouthpiece.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t worry about putting the mouthpiece too close to your mouth or having to speak loudly.\\nIf the person you’re speaking to says they cannot hear you very well, you can speak a little louder. Otherwise, keep your voice at a normal conversational level.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Avoid using slang or profane language.\", \"描述\": \"When you're answering the phone at work, you represent your company to whoever you're speaking with on the phone. Speak politely and avoid using slang, cursing, or bad language. Even if the conversation becomes heated and the person you're speaking with swears, maintain your composure and be polite.\\nOf course, when you're speaking on your personal phone to friends, you can be informal with them and speak how you would in a face-to-face conversation.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Home Phone\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Answer in a quiet environment.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re in a loud environment, move somewhere quieter before answering the phone, or turn down the music or television before answering. You want to be in a place that’s quiet enough so that you can hear the person talking to you, and they can hear your responses. \\nA quiet environment will also allow you to focus on the caller.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stop your other tasks before answering the phone.\", \"描述\": \"Take a brief moment to collect your thoughts before answering. Don’t be distracted, as this could lead to miscommunication between you and the person you're speaking to. If you’re free from distractions, the person you're speaking to will feel that they have your full attention.\\nFor example, if you were typing on your computer or reading a book when the phone rang, stop these tasks and concentrate on the call.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Say “Hello” and state your name in a pleasant tone of voice.\", \"描述\": \"If you don’t recognize the Caller ID or know who is calling, you can add “This is Sam.” For a more formal answer, you can say, for example “This is the Smiths’ residence.”\\nIf you saw on Caller ID that a friend or family member is calling, feel free to say something like, “Hi Tom! How are you today?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take down the caller's info if the family member they’re trying to reach is unavailable.\", \"描述\": \"If the caller is trying to reach someone who is not home or is unavailable, say “I’m sorry, Mrs. Simpson, my father is not available right now. May I take a message?” Be sure to record the person’s name, phone number, and reason for calling on a notepad in clear, legible handwriting.\\nIf you don’t have a notepad nearby, ask the person on the other line to wait while you quickly go get one.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Cell Phone\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Greet the caller in a friendly tone.\", \"描述\": \"When answering a cell phone, Caller ID will typically indicate who is calling you. Say something like, “Hi Steve, how are you?” Even if the number is private or concealed, it’s important to answer the caller in a friendly way. Say, “Hello, may I ask who’s calling?”\\nSince cell-phone calls tend to be more informal than calls to a business or land line, you don’t need to say your name when answering the call.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask why the person is calling.\", \"描述\": \"If you don’t know the person, be polite by saying “How can I help you today?” or “What can I do for you?” If you do know the person, you can say something like “What’s up?”\\nEven if you know the caller, avoid answering rudely. Don’t say, “What?” or “What do you want this time?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Speak clearly using your normal tone of voice.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t worry about shouting into the mouthpiece or over-enunciating your words. Instead, speak slowly and distinctly. If you're shouting or speaking unnaturally, the person you're speaking to may think you're angry or sick.\\nIf the person on the other end of the line sounds faint, turn up the volume on the side of your cell phone. If they're still faint, ask them to put the mouthpiece closer to their face.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don’t answer the phone while chewing gum or food.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re chewing gum or food, take the time before answering to spit it out or swallow it. You want your mouth to be clear and ready for conversation when you answer the phone.\\nEven if you’re talking to a friend, they may have a hard time understanding you if you have a mouth full of food.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don’t talk to people outside of the call until the call is over.\", \"描述\": \"For the duration of the phone call, ignore all outside distractions and give the person on the other side of the line your undivided attention. Don’t talk to or joke with other people, and avoid trying to communicate silently while also talking on the phone.\\nEven if the person you're on the phone with can't hear the words you're saying to someone in person, they'll be able to tell that you're not focusing fully on the phone conversation.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Keep a notepad and pen handy by each phone so you won’t need to scramble when you have to take a message.\\n\", \"People you speak to on the phone will remember if you’re courteous. Say “please” whenever making a request. If a caller says “thank you,” follow up with a warm “you’re welcome.”\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Learn how to get off the phone politely. Try to avoid upsetting people by hanging up abruptly.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,765 | How to Answer the Phone at Work | 1. Opening the Call
1-1. Answer quickly.
If you are in a business setting, it is rude to keep people waiting. Get to the phone and answer before the third ring.
1-2. Put the phone up to your face.
While you want to move quickly when answering the phone, you should be patient enough to actually get the mouthpiece to your face. Make sure you don’t start talking until the phone is right up against you so that the person on the other end doesn’t miss any information.
1-3. Take a deep breath before answering.
Once the phone is up to your face, take a deep breath before giving your introduction. This will help you keep calm and controlled, making it easier to speak slowly and collect your thoughts.
1-4. Introduce your business and yourself.
You want to make sure the other person on the line has called the right place and person, so make sure they know who you and your company are. Make sure you lead with the business name. You may want to give yourself a scripted greeting so that you don’t have to think about what to say when the phone rings. This message will change slightly depending on your circumstances.
If you are a receptionist, it is important that you identify the whole company, as you are the caller’s gateway to whatever they need. Something simple like “Hello, this is wikiHow Enterprises, Nick speaking. How can I help you?” is good. This lets the caller know who you and your business are, and gives them an opening to continue talking. If you are a personal receptionist, identify the person you are working for (“This is Mr. Miller’s office, Nick speaking”), as that is the person your caller is trying to reach.
If you are part of an office, let the other person know what you do so they know what kinds of questions they can ask. Identifying yourself by saying “Hello, this is Jessica in Accounting” lets the other person know if they have reached the office or person they want, and if they should talk to someone else.
1-5. Keep a pen and notepad near the phone.
This will let you jot down information quickly if the person wants to leave a message or give you other information. You don’t want to keep your caller waiting while you search for something to write with.
2. Speaking Professionally
2-1. Smile as you speak.
Even if you aren’t in a good mood, putting a smile on your face and faking it can help you sound more pleasant to the person on the other end. It will probably help your mood a little bit as well.
2-2. Speak clearly and professionally.
This is a professional setting, and it is important that both you and the other person understand each other clearly and precisely. Speak slowly and enunciate your words to make sure your information gets across.
Avoid slang words like “Yep,” “Sure,” or “Nah.” Instead, speak with clear words like “Yes” and “No.” You don’t want any confusion between you and the caller over what either person said. Don’t forget common polite phrases such as “Thank you” and “You’re welcome” when appropriate.
If you need to give someone specific numbers or letters, say passing along a name or phone number, it can be good to familiarize yourself with the phonetic alphabet. That way you can avoid confusion over letters that sound similar, like “B” and “V,” with helpful hints like “V as in Victory.”
2-3. Address the caller professionally.
Use the person’s title (“Mr. Jones”) and not their first name, especially if you do not know the caller personally. Make sure you remember their name and address them with it during the conversation.
It may be helpful to write down the person’s name after you get it in order to help you remember.
2-4. Transfer the person if necessary.
If someone is calling you at work, they probably have a specific problem or issue they need to resolve. If you don’t know how to answer a question or concern, don’t try. Instead, offer to transfer them to someone who can help. This also shows that you are interested and willing to help solve your caller’s problem.
Many office phone systems will have a way to transfer calls. Make sure you know if your office does, and how it works. If not, get the right person’s number, and pass that information to your caller.
Be as polite as possible when doing this, and offer the transfer. Say something like “I’m afraid I can’t answer that. Would you like me to transfer you to Brian, who can help you?” Make sure the person on the other end agrees before changing the call.
If someone else isn’t available, offer to take a message. Just remember to pass that message along.
2-5. End the call professionally.
A clear and polite “Thank you” or “Goodbye” lets the other person know that the conversation has finished and they can hang up. There shouldn't be any confusion over whether or not the conversation should continue.
Let the other person hang up. They initiated the call, so you want to let them finish whatever they needed when they called in the first place. If you hang up when the caller isn’t ready, it can appear rude, or you might miss important information.
Tips
Avoid answering your personal cell phone at work. You are at your job to work, not chat with your friends. Personal calls and messages can wait until the working day is done.
Avoid distractions. Put down what you are doing and focus on the phone call so that the caller has your undivided attention. You do not want to come across as distracted or too busy to answer questions and provide assistance.
Keep things out of your mouth when on the phone. This means no eating, drinking, or chewing gum. This gets in the way of clarity and suggests to the caller that they are not important.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Opening the Call\\n1-1. Answer quickly.\\nIf you are in a business setting, it is rude to keep people waiting. Get to the phone and answer before the third ring.\\n1-2. Put the phone up to your face.\\nWhile you want to move quickly when answering the phone, you should be patient enough to actually get the mouthpiece to your face. Make sure you don’t start talking until the phone is right up against you so that the person on the other end doesn’t miss any information.\\n1-3. Take a deep breath before answering.\\nOnce the phone is up to your face, take a deep breath before giving your introduction. This will help you keep calm and controlled, making it easier to speak slowly and collect your thoughts.\\n1-4. Introduce your business and yourself.\\nYou want to make sure the other person on the line has called the right place and person, so make sure they know who you and your company are. Make sure you lead with the business name. You may want to give yourself a scripted greeting so that you don’t have to think about what to say when the phone rings. This message will change slightly depending on your circumstances.\\nIf you are a receptionist, it is important that you identify the whole company, as you are the caller’s gateway to whatever they need. Something simple like “Hello, this is wikiHow Enterprises, Nick speaking. How can I help you?” is good. This lets the caller know who you and your business are, and gives them an opening to continue talking. If you are a personal receptionist, identify the person you are working for (“This is Mr. Miller’s office, Nick speaking”), as that is the person your caller is trying to reach.\\nIf you are part of an office, let the other person know what you do so they know what kinds of questions they can ask. Identifying yourself by saying “Hello, this is Jessica in Accounting” lets the other person know if they have reached the office or person they want, and if they should talk to someone else.\\n1-5. Keep a pen and notepad near the phone.\\nThis will let you jot down information quickly if the person wants to leave a message or give you other information. You don’t want to keep your caller waiting while you search for something to write with.\\n2. Speaking Professionally\\n2-1. Smile as you speak.\\nEven if you aren’t in a good mood, putting a smile on your face and faking it can help you sound more pleasant to the person on the other end. It will probably help your mood a little bit as well.\\n2-2. Speak clearly and professionally.\\nThis is a professional setting, and it is important that both you and the other person understand each other clearly and precisely. Speak slowly and enunciate your words to make sure your information gets across.\\nAvoid slang words like “Yep,” “Sure,” or “Nah.” Instead, speak with clear words like “Yes” and “No.” You don’t want any confusion between you and the caller over what either person said. Don’t forget common polite phrases such as “Thank you” and “You’re welcome” when appropriate.\\nIf you need to give someone specific numbers or letters, say passing along a name or phone number, it can be good to familiarize yourself with the phonetic alphabet. That way you can avoid confusion over letters that sound similar, like “B” and “V,” with helpful hints like “V as in Victory.”\\n2-3. Address the caller professionally.\\nUse the person’s title (“Mr. Jones”) and not their first name, especially if you do not know the caller personally. Make sure you remember their name and address them with it during the conversation.\\nIt may be helpful to write down the person’s name after you get it in order to help you remember.\\n2-4. Transfer the person if necessary.\\nIf someone is calling you at work, they probably have a specific problem or issue they need to resolve. If you don’t know how to answer a question or concern, don’t try. Instead, offer to transfer them to someone who can help. This also shows that you are interested and willing to help solve your caller’s problem.\\nMany office phone systems will have a way to transfer calls. Make sure you know if your office does, and how it works. If not, get the right person’s number, and pass that information to your caller.\\nBe as polite as possible when doing this, and offer the transfer. Say something like “I’m afraid I can’t answer that. Would you like me to transfer you to Brian, who can help you?” Make sure the person on the other end agrees before changing the call.\\nIf someone else isn’t available, offer to take a message. Just remember to pass that message along.\\n2-5. End the call professionally.\\nA clear and polite “Thank you” or “Goodbye” lets the other person know that the conversation has finished and they can hang up. There shouldn't be any confusion over whether or not the conversation should continue.\\nLet the other person hang up. They initiated the call, so you want to let them finish whatever they needed when they called in the first place. If you hang up when the caller isn’t ready, it can appear rude, or you might miss important information.\\nTips\\nAvoid answering your personal cell phone at work. You are at your job to work, not chat with your friends. Personal calls and messages can wait until the working day is done.\\nAvoid distractions. Put down what you are doing and focus on the phone call so that the caller has your undivided attention. You do not want to come across as distracted or too busy to answer questions and provide assistance.\\nKeep things out of your mouth when on the phone. This means no eating, drinking, or chewing gum. This gets in the way of clarity and suggests to the caller that they are not important.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Projecting a professional image at work is important for career success. Answering the telephone is something that almost every employee does, regardless of their position in the company. Answering the right way will project a positive tone, help the caller feel comfortable, and set you up to help answer whatever questions they may have.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Opening the Call\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Answer quickly.\", \"描述\": \"If you are in a business setting, it is rude to keep people waiting. Get to the phone and answer before the third ring.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Put the phone up to your face.\", \"描述\": \"While you want to move quickly when answering the phone, you should be patient enough to actually get the mouthpiece to your face. Make sure you don’t start talking until the phone is right up against you so that the person on the other end doesn’t miss any information.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take a deep breath before answering.\", \"描述\": \"Once the phone is up to your face, take a deep breath before giving your introduction. This will help you keep calm and controlled, making it easier to speak slowly and collect your thoughts.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Introduce your business and yourself.\", \"描述\": \"You want to make sure the other person on the line has called the right place and person, so make sure they know who you and your company are. Make sure you lead with the business name. You may want to give yourself a scripted greeting so that you don’t have to think about what to say when the phone rings. This message will change slightly depending on your circumstances.\\nIf you are a receptionist, it is important that you identify the whole company, as you are the caller’s gateway to whatever they need. Something simple like “Hello, this is wikiHow Enterprises, Nick speaking. How can I help you?” is good. This lets the caller know who you and your business are, and gives them an opening to continue talking. If you are a personal receptionist, identify the person you are working for (“This is Mr. Miller’s office, Nick speaking”), as that is the person your caller is trying to reach.\\nIf you are part of an office, let the other person know what you do so they know what kinds of questions they can ask. Identifying yourself by saying “Hello, this is Jessica in Accounting” lets the other person know if they have reached the office or person they want, and if they should talk to someone else.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep a pen and notepad near the phone.\", \"描述\": \"This will let you jot down information quickly if the person wants to leave a message or give you other information. You don’t want to keep your caller waiting while you search for something to write with.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Speaking Professionally\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Smile as you speak.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you aren’t in a good mood, putting a smile on your face and faking it can help you sound more pleasant to the person on the other end. It will probably help your mood a little bit as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Speak clearly and professionally.\", \"描述\": \"This is a professional setting, and it is important that both you and the other person understand each other clearly and precisely. Speak slowly and enunciate your words to make sure your information gets across.\\nAvoid slang words like “Yep,” “Sure,” or “Nah.” Instead, speak with clear words like “Yes” and “No.” You don’t want any confusion between you and the caller over what either person said. Don’t forget common polite phrases such as “Thank you” and “You’re welcome” when appropriate.\\nIf you need to give someone specific numbers or letters, say passing along a name or phone number, it can be good to familiarize yourself with the phonetic alphabet. That way you can avoid confusion over letters that sound similar, like “B” and “V,” with helpful hints like “V as in Victory.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Address the caller professionally.\", \"描述\": \"Use the person’s title (“Mr. Jones”) and not their first name, especially if you do not know the caller personally. Make sure you remember their name and address them with it during the conversation.\\nIt may be helpful to write down the person’s name after you get it in order to help you remember.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Transfer the person if necessary.\", \"描述\": \"If someone is calling you at work, they probably have a specific problem or issue they need to resolve. If you don’t know how to answer a question or concern, don’t try. Instead, offer to transfer them to someone who can help. This also shows that you are interested and willing to help solve your caller’s problem.\\nMany office phone systems will have a way to transfer calls. Make sure you know if your office does, and how it works. If not, get the right person’s number, and pass that information to your caller.\\nBe as polite as possible when doing this, and offer the transfer. Say something like “I’m afraid I can’t answer that. Would you like me to transfer you to Brian, who can help you?” Make sure the person on the other end agrees before changing the call.\\nIf someone else isn’t available, offer to take a message. Just remember to pass that message along.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"End the call professionally.\", \"描述\": \"A clear and polite “Thank you” or “Goodbye” lets the other person know that the conversation has finished and they can hang up. There shouldn't be any confusion over whether or not the conversation should continue.\\nLet the other person hang up. They initiated the call, so you want to let them finish whatever they needed when they called in the first place. If you hang up when the caller isn’t ready, it can appear rude, or you might miss important information.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Avoid answering your personal cell phone at work. You are at your job to work, not chat with your friends. Personal calls and messages can wait until the working day is done.\\n\", \"Avoid distractions. Put down what you are doing and focus on the phone call so that the caller has your undivided attention. You do not want to come across as distracted or too busy to answer questions and provide assistance.\\n\", \"Keep things out of your mouth when on the phone. This means no eating, drinking, or chewing gum. This gets in the way of clarity and suggests to the caller that they are not important.\\n\"]}]}}",
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} | wikihow |
1,766 | How to Answer the Question “Who Are You” | 1. Decoding Your Personality and Core Values
1-1. Try online personality tests.
While not all personality tests are created equal, some personality tests can tell you more about who you are. For instance, the Myers-Briggs is a common test that will divide you among two options in four categories. You can also try the Big Five personality test.
Use your results. Once you get your results, it will help you understand more about how you make decisions and who you are as person. It will also help you understand how you interact with other people and why you may respond in certain ways to specific situations.
For instance, if you're an introvert, knowing that will help you understand why you may feel drained after parties and how you can take steps to manage your energy
1-2. Consider your biggest accomplishments.
Write down the three things you consider your biggest accomplishments. What do these times have in common? In turn, consider what believe to be your biggest failures. What do those have in common?
1-3. Identify what you've learned.
That is, given your accomplishments and failures, consider how you acted to get there or how you would act differently now. If one of your biggest accomplishments was getting a degree, that means you consider hard work and dedication important. If one of your biggest failures was getting drunk and cheating on a girlfriend, that means you believe you have had problems with overindulging and not keeping promises and want to do those things differently.
1-4. Look at people you admire.
Consider the people you admire most. What do you admire about them? What qualities do they have that you wish you did? What values do they have? Those values are likely ones you wish you had, too.
1-5. Ask yourself what's most important to you.
To figure out your values, you need to consider what's most important in your life. Maybe it's your family, or maybe it's your friendships.
One way to figure out what you value is to ask yourself some questions. For instance, what would you carry out of your house if it were on fire (besides your family and pets)? What would you do to change the world, if you could? What makes you passionate? The recurring themes that you find help make up your values.
1-6. Incorporate what you've learned into value statements.
For instance, you may have realized that hard work is important to you. That means it's one of your values. You have also noticed that moderation and fidelity are also important to you and part of your values.
1-7. Use your values to guide your decisions.
It's easy to have values in a vacuum. However, what defines you as a person is how you put those values in action. People are said to have integrity when they follow through on their values, so if you want to be a person of integrity, you must follow through on what you believe.
1-8. Let your values define you.
Who you are personality-wise and what values you have define your actions. That is, say you value your family over anyone else. That means that you will chose your family over, say, your job or other obligations. However, if you value your work, you may choose not to have a family at all, which is also a valid choice. What you do becomes who you are.
Once you realize how your values have defined you as a person, you can put that into words. For instance, if you value your family above all else, maybe you consider yourself a "family person," while if you value you work, you might say "I'm passionate about my work."
2. Discovering Your Passions
2-1. Think about what you loved as a kid.
For instance, if you loved to color, maybe you have a latent passion for design. If you were into building toys, such as building bricks or building logs, maybe your passion is more along the lines of architecture or construction.
Don't just think about what you loved. You should also consider why you loved it. For instance, you may figure out that you loved building blocks because you loved the neat rows and colors, meaning you actually loved the organization of it.
2-2. Consider what you would do if income wasn't a problem.
That is, if you suddenly inherited enough money that you didn't need to worry about rent or food, how would you spend your time? Think beyond sitting on the couch and watching television. Would you dive into a hobby? Volunteer? Visit the library or museum? What you would do points to what you're most passionate about.
2-3. Pay attention to when you lose yourself.
You know those moments when you lose all track of time because you are so absorbed in what you're doing? Those moments are the ones you need to pay attention to because you are obviously loving what you are doing.
2-4. Consider what you don't like.
Learning what you don't like is just as important as learning what you do love. For one thing, it can show what you need to avoid when you're seeking out your passions and when you're seeking out a job.
Start with the activities you dread. What do you dread about them? Why do you dread them? Once you answer these questions, you'll start to notice themes across the activities, such as maybe you don't like organizing or maybe you're not really a people person.
2-5. Create a space for things that inspire you.
Whether you use a journal, a poster, or board, make a space to put up the things that inspire you. Try putting up quotes, pictures, and ideas. Once you've started filling in your board, you'll start to notice themes, identifying some of your passions.
Use anything you can get your hands on for your board, from the internet and junk mail to old magazines.
2-6. Make curiosity a part of your day.
When you find you are curious about something, take the time to do some research. You may find you are passionate about a subject just by following through on an idea. Use the internet or the library to start following your curiosity.
2-7. Answer "yes."
When life invites you to do something new, follow it along for awhile. For instance, when you get an opportunity to try something new at your job, agree to it. When your friend invites you to a new experience, go along with it. You never know what you'll come to love.
2-8. Explore your options.
One way to explore is to try different things. Go to the library, and read books about topics that interest you. Try joining different community clubs or taking classes through your parks and recreation department. However, you don't even need to leave home to explore different passions. Try doodling one afternoon or playing around in your garden. Leave yourself open to possibility.
2-9. Let your passions give you expression.
Your passions are where you can show who you are to the world. They also define who you are as a person because what you're passionate about drives your life. That's why it's so important to have them. If you're passionate about art, you can express yourself through it, either by creating it yourself or supporting people who do.
3. Discovering Your Skills
3-1. Think about the areas you've done well in.
Where have you done well in the past? For instance, think about the classes you've gotten good grades in. Also, think about what you do naturally for friends and family, what they turn to you to do because you're good at it. Make notes about what you're good at doing.
Your skills are a part of your identity, as many people will come to identify you with what you do.
3-2. Consider what skills you've developed in jobs.
Certain types of jobs teach you certain skills, whether you think you're learning them or not. For instance, when you work at the counter of a fast-food restaurant, you learn to deal with drama quickly and efficiently.
Fast food jobs and retail jobs can also teach you people skills.
Similarly, people will also associate what you do for a living with who you are. You spend a good portion of your life at your job, so it becomes a part of who you are.
3-3. Try online skill tests.
Many websites, especially job search websites and freelance websites, offer you the chance to take skills tests. These tests will help you judge how adept you are in particular areas, usually ones related to the job market.
3-4. Ask friends, family, and colleagues.
Your peers are able to assess how good you are at certain skills, and as you put yourself out there in the world, you can ask for reviews of those skills. Your bosses, too, should also be able to tell you how well you do in certain areas. You can also ask your friends and family if they think you are particularly good at any skills.
3-5. Define yourself by your skills.
As you grow further into adulthood, your skills will define you in a professional sense. When you're looking for a job, you are essentially a list of skills and experience. That's how you're represented to the world. Though it may not be all of who you are, it is a part of what makes you who you are.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:06",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Decoding Your Personality and Core Values\\n1-1. Try online personality tests.\\nWhile not all personality tests are created equal, some personality tests can tell you more about who you are. For instance, the Myers-Briggs is a common test that will divide you among two options in four categories. You can also try the Big Five personality test.\\nUse your results. Once you get your results, it will help you understand more about how you make decisions and who you are as person. It will also help you understand how you interact with other people and why you may respond in certain ways to specific situations.\\nFor instance, if you're an introvert, knowing that will help you understand why you may feel drained after parties and how you can take steps to manage your energy\\n1-2. Consider your biggest accomplishments.\\nWrite down the three things you consider your biggest accomplishments. What do these times have in common? In turn, consider what believe to be your biggest failures. What do those have in common?\\n1-3. Identify what you've learned.\\nThat is, given your accomplishments and failures, consider how you acted to get there or how you would act differently now. If one of your biggest accomplishments was getting a degree, that means you consider hard work and dedication important. If one of your biggest failures was getting drunk and cheating on a girlfriend, that means you believe you have had problems with overindulging and not keeping promises and want to do those things differently.\\n1-4. Look at people you admire.\\nConsider the people you admire most. What do you admire about them? What qualities do they have that you wish you did? What values do they have? Those values are likely ones you wish you had, too.\\n1-5. Ask yourself what's most important to you.\\nTo figure out your values, you need to consider what's most important in your life. Maybe it's your family, or maybe it's your friendships.\\nOne way to figure out what you value is to ask yourself some questions. For instance, what would you carry out of your house if it were on fire (besides your family and pets)? What would you do to change the world, if you could? What makes you passionate? The recurring themes that you find help make up your values.\\n1-6. Incorporate what you've learned into value statements.\\nFor instance, you may have realized that hard work is important to you. That means it's one of your values. You have also noticed that moderation and fidelity are also important to you and part of your values.\\n1-7. Use your values to guide your decisions.\\nIt's easy to have values in a vacuum. However, what defines you as a person is how you put those values in action. People are said to have integrity when they follow through on their values, so if you want to be a person of integrity, you must follow through on what you believe.\\n1-8. Let your values define you.\\nWho you are personality-wise and what values you have define your actions. That is, say you value your family over anyone else. That means that you will chose your family over, say, your job or other obligations. However, if you value your work, you may choose not to have a family at all, which is also a valid choice. What you do becomes who you are.\\nOnce you realize how your values have defined you as a person, you can put that into words. For instance, if you value your family above all else, maybe you consider yourself a \\\"family person,\\\" while if you value you work, you might say \\\"I'm passionate about my work.\\\"\\n2. Discovering Your Passions\\n2-1. Think about what you loved as a kid.\\nFor instance, if you loved to color, maybe you have a latent passion for design. If you were into building toys, such as building bricks or building logs, maybe your passion is more along the lines of architecture or construction.\\nDon't just think about what you loved. You should also consider why you loved it. For instance, you may figure out that you loved building blocks because you loved the neat rows and colors, meaning you actually loved the organization of it.\\n2-2. Consider what you would do if income wasn't a problem.\\nThat is, if you suddenly inherited enough money that you didn't need to worry about rent or food, how would you spend your time? Think beyond sitting on the couch and watching television. Would you dive into a hobby? Volunteer? Visit the library or museum? What you would do points to what you're most passionate about.\\n2-3. Pay attention to when you lose yourself.\\nYou know those moments when you lose all track of time because you are so absorbed in what you're doing? Those moments are the ones you need to pay attention to because you are obviously loving what you are doing.\\n2-4. Consider what you don't like.\\nLearning what you don't like is just as important as learning what you do love. For one thing, it can show what you need to avoid when you're seeking out your passions and when you're seeking out a job.\\nStart with the activities you dread. What do you dread about them? Why do you dread them? Once you answer these questions, you'll start to notice themes across the activities, such as maybe you don't like organizing or maybe you're not really a people person.\\n2-5. Create a space for things that inspire you.\\nWhether you use a journal, a poster, or board, make a space to put up the things that inspire you. Try putting up quotes, pictures, and ideas. Once you've started filling in your board, you'll start to notice themes, identifying some of your passions.\\nUse anything you can get your hands on for your board, from the internet and junk mail to old magazines.\\n2-6. Make curiosity a part of your day.\\nWhen you find you are curious about something, take the time to do some research. You may find you are passionate about a subject just by following through on an idea. Use the internet or the library to start following your curiosity.\\n2-7. Answer \\\"yes.\\\"\\nWhen life invites you to do something new, follow it along for awhile. For instance, when you get an opportunity to try something new at your job, agree to it. When your friend invites you to a new experience, go along with it. You never know what you'll come to love.\\n2-8. Explore your options.\\nOne way to explore is to try different things. Go to the library, and read books about topics that interest you. Try joining different community clubs or taking classes through your parks and recreation department. However, you don't even need to leave home to explore different passions. Try doodling one afternoon or playing around in your garden. Leave yourself open to possibility.\\n2-9. Let your passions give you expression.\\nYour passions are where you can show who you are to the world. They also define who you are as a person because what you're passionate about drives your life. That's why it's so important to have them. If you're passionate about art, you can express yourself through it, either by creating it yourself or supporting people who do.\\n3. Discovering Your Skills\\n3-1. Think about the areas you've done well in.\\nWhere have you done well in the past? For instance, think about the classes you've gotten good grades in. Also, think about what you do naturally for friends and family, what they turn to you to do because you're good at it. Make notes about what you're good at doing.\\nYour skills are a part of your identity, as many people will come to identify you with what you do.\\n3-2. Consider what skills you've developed in jobs.\\nCertain types of jobs teach you certain skills, whether you think you're learning them or not. For instance, when you work at the counter of a fast-food restaurant, you learn to deal with drama quickly and efficiently.\\nFast food jobs and retail jobs can also teach you people skills.\\nSimilarly, people will also associate what you do for a living with who you are. You spend a good portion of your life at your job, so it becomes a part of who you are.\\n3-3. Try online skill tests.\\nMany websites, especially job search websites and freelance websites, offer you the chance to take skills tests. These tests will help you judge how adept you are in particular areas, usually ones related to the job market.\\n3-4. Ask friends, family, and colleagues.\\nYour peers are able to assess how good you are at certain skills, and as you put yourself out there in the world, you can ask for reviews of those skills. Your bosses, too, should also be able to tell you how well you do in certain areas. You can also ask your friends and family if they think you are particularly good at any skills.\\n3-5. Define yourself by your skills.\\nAs you grow further into adulthood, your skills will define you in a professional sense. When you're looking for a job, you are essentially a list of skills and experience. That's how you're represented to the world. Though it may not be all of who you are, it is a part of what makes you who you are.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Defining yourself is a difficult process, whether you are writing a journal entry, answering an interview question, or trying to be happier and more fulfilled in your life. However, you must define who you are for yourself first before you can do it for another person. What exactly makes up a person differs according to what philosophy you follow, but you can look at some basic parts of yourself to define who you are. For instance, you can define your skill set, your passions, your personality, and your values as a way of determining who you are.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Decoding Your Personality and Core Values\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try online personality tests.\", \"描述\": \"While not all personality tests are created equal, some personality tests can tell you more about who you are. For instance, the Myers-Briggs is a common test that will divide you among two options in four categories. You can also try the Big Five personality test.\\nUse your results. Once you get your results, it will help you understand more about how you make decisions and who you are as person. It will also help you understand how you interact with other people and why you may respond in certain ways to specific situations.\\nFor instance, if you're an introvert, knowing that will help you understand why you may feel drained after parties and how you can take steps to manage your energy\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider your biggest accomplishments.\", \"描述\": \"Write down the three things you consider your biggest accomplishments. What do these times have in common? In turn, consider what believe to be your biggest failures. What do those have in common?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Identify what you've learned.\", \"描述\": \"That is, given your accomplishments and failures, consider how you acted to get there or how you would act differently now. If one of your biggest accomplishments was getting a degree, that means you consider hard work and dedication important. If one of your biggest failures was getting drunk and cheating on a girlfriend, that means you believe you have had problems with overindulging and not keeping promises and want to do those things differently.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Look at people you admire.\", \"描述\": \"Consider the people you admire most. What do you admire about them? What qualities do they have that you wish you did? What values do they have? Those values are likely ones you wish you had, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask yourself what's most important to you.\", \"描述\": \"To figure out your values, you need to consider what's most important in your life. Maybe it's your family, or maybe it's your friendships.\\nOne way to figure out what you value is to ask yourself some questions. For instance, what would you carry out of your house if it were on fire (besides your family and pets)? What would you do to change the world, if you could? What makes you passionate? The recurring themes that you find help make up your values.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Incorporate what you've learned into value statements.\", \"描述\": \"For instance, you may have realized that hard work is important to you. That means it's one of your values. You have also noticed that moderation and fidelity are also important to you and part of your values.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Use your values to guide your decisions.\", \"描述\": \"It's easy to have values in a vacuum. However, what defines you as a person is how you put those values in action. People are said to have integrity when they follow through on their values, so if you want to be a person of integrity, you must follow through on what you believe.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Let your values define you.\", \"描述\": \"Who you are personality-wise and what values you have define your actions. That is, say you value your family over anyone else. That means that you will chose your family over, say, your job or other obligations. However, if you value your work, you may choose not to have a family at all, which is also a valid choice. What you do becomes who you are.\\nOnce you realize how your values have defined you as a person, you can put that into words. For instance, if you value your family above all else, maybe you consider yourself a \\\"family person,\\\" while if you value you work, you might say \\\"I'm passionate about my work.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Discovering Your Passions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Think about what you loved as a kid.\", \"描述\": \"For instance, if you loved to color, maybe you have a latent passion for design. If you were into building toys, such as building bricks or building logs, maybe your passion is more along the lines of architecture or construction.\\nDon't just think about what you loved. You should also consider why you loved it. For instance, you may figure out that you loved building blocks because you loved the neat rows and colors, meaning you actually loved the organization of it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider what you would do if income wasn't a problem.\", \"描述\": \"That is, if you suddenly inherited enough money that you didn't need to worry about rent or food, how would you spend your time? Think beyond sitting on the couch and watching television. Would you dive into a hobby? Volunteer? Visit the library or museum? What you would do points to what you're most passionate about.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to when you lose yourself.\", \"描述\": \"You know those moments when you lose all track of time because you are so absorbed in what you're doing? Those moments are the ones you need to pay attention to because you are obviously loving what you are doing.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Consider what you don't like.\", \"描述\": \"Learning what you don't like is just as important as learning what you do love. For one thing, it can show what you need to avoid when you're seeking out your passions and when you're seeking out a job.\\nStart with the activities you dread. What do you dread about them? Why do you dread them? Once you answer these questions, you'll start to notice themes across the activities, such as maybe you don't like organizing or maybe you're not really a people person.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Create a space for things that inspire you.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you use a journal, a poster, or board, make a space to put up the things that inspire you. Try putting up quotes, pictures, and ideas. Once you've started filling in your board, you'll start to notice themes, identifying some of your passions.\\nUse anything you can get your hands on for your board, from the internet and junk mail to old magazines.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Make curiosity a part of your day.\", \"描述\": \"When you find you are curious about something, take the time to do some research. You may find you are passionate about a subject just by following through on an idea. Use the internet or the library to start following your curiosity.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Answer \\\"yes.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"When life invites you to do something new, follow it along for awhile. For instance, when you get an opportunity to try something new at your job, agree to it. When your friend invites you to a new experience, go along with it. You never know what you'll come to love.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Explore your options.\", \"描述\": \"One way to explore is to try different things. Go to the library, and read books about topics that interest you. Try joining different community clubs or taking classes through your parks and recreation department. However, you don't even need to leave home to explore different passions. Try doodling one afternoon or playing around in your garden. Leave yourself open to possibility.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Let your passions give you expression.\", \"描述\": \"Your passions are where you can show who you are to the world. They also define who you are as a person because what you're passionate about drives your life. That's why it's so important to have them. If you're passionate about art, you can express yourself through it, either by creating it yourself or supporting people who do.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Discovering Your Skills\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Think about the areas you've done well in.\", \"描述\": \"Where have you done well in the past? For instance, think about the classes you've gotten good grades in. Also, think about what you do naturally for friends and family, what they turn to you to do because you're good at it. Make notes about what you're good at doing.\\nYour skills are a part of your identity, as many people will come to identify you with what you do.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider what skills you've developed in jobs.\", \"描述\": \"Certain types of jobs teach you certain skills, whether you think you're learning them or not. For instance, when you work at the counter of a fast-food restaurant, you learn to deal with drama quickly and efficiently.\\nFast food jobs and retail jobs can also teach you people skills.\\nSimilarly, people will also associate what you do for a living with who you are. You spend a good portion of your life at your job, so it becomes a part of who you are.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try online skill tests.\", \"描述\": \"Many websites, especially job search websites and freelance websites, offer you the chance to take skills tests. These tests will help you judge how adept you are in particular areas, usually ones related to the job market.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask friends, family, and colleagues.\", \"描述\": \"Your peers are able to assess how good you are at certain skills, and as you put yourself out there in the world, you can ask for reviews of those skills. Your bosses, too, should also be able to tell you how well you do in certain areas. You can also ask your friends and family if they think you are particularly good at any skills.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Define yourself by your skills.\", \"描述\": \"As you grow further into adulthood, your skills will define you in a professional sense. When you're looking for a job, you are essentially a list of skills and experience. That's how you're represented to the world. Though it may not be all of who you are, it is a part of what makes you who you are.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,767 | How to Answer when Someone Asks How You Are | 1. Giving a Brief, Standard Response
1-1. Respond with “Fine, thanks” or “I’m good, thanks."
You can use these responses if you are speaking to someone in a social situation you do not know well, such as an acquaintance at a party or someone you have just met while out and about.
You can also use these responses if you are talking to someone at work, such as a coworker, a client, or your boss.
1-2. Answer with “Not bad” or “Can’t complain” if you want to come across positive and friendly.
You can also say “Not too shabby” or “Things are good.” These responses are a good way to present a positive demeanor to a coworker, a client, a boss, or an acquaintance.
1-3. Say “I’m okay, thanks” if you aren’t feeling well but want to be polite.
If you are feeling ill or a little sick, you can use this response to let the person know this in a polite way. The person can then move on with the conversation or ask you more probing questions.
This is a good response if you do not want to lie about how you are feeling, but you do not want to be too honest or personal with the person.
1-4. Make eye contact with the person when you respond.
Engage with them by looking them in the eye when you answer their question, even if you are trying to be polite or brief with your response. Keep your arms relaxed by your sides and your body turned towards them to demonstrate positive body language. This will make them feel more at ease in the conversation.
You can also smile or nod if you want to appear friendly.
2. Providing an Answer to Encourage Conversation
2-1. Give a detailed answer when responding to a close friend, a family member, or your partner.
These are likely individuals you are close with and trust on a personal level. Tell them how you are feeling in a more meaningful and detailed way.
You may also be honest and tell a coworker or peer you are close with how you are actually feeling.
2-2. Express how you are feeling.
Respond by saying, “Actually, I’ve been feeling…” or “You know, I have been feeling…” If you are feeling depressed or going through a tough time, you could also mention that so that your loved ones can help you.
For example, you may respond, “Actually, I’ve been feeling a little down lately. I think I might be struggling with stress and anxiety” if you have not been feeling well or like yourself.
You may respond, “You know, I’ve been feeling great. I finally have a job I love and I’m feeling more confident these days” if you are feeling positive and happy.
2-3. Provide a detailed response when your doctor asks “How are you?”
Let them know if you are not feeling well or have a health issue that has been bothering you, as this will allow them to treat you properly.
You should also give an honest answer to any other medical professionals, such as a nurse or a paramedic. If you are not feeling well, they need to know that so they can help you to feel better.
2-4. Say “Not great” or “I think I’m coming down with something” if you are feeling ill.
This response will allow you to be honest and let the person know you are not feeling well. They may then ask you more questions and show sympathy for how you are feeling.
Only use this response if you want to talk about your sickness or illness with the person. It is usually a prompt for the other person to find out more and try to make you feel better.
2-5. Wrap up your response with “Thanks for asking.”
Let the person know you appreciate their question and their willingness to listen to your long answer. This is a good way to end your response on a positive note, even if your response was about how you are feeling negative or not well.
You can also say, “I appreciate that you asked how I was, thank you” or “Thanks for listening.”
2-6. Ask the person how they are doing.
Show the person you want to engage in deeper conversation by asking “How are you?” once you have responded to their question.
For example, you may say, “I’m fine, thanks for asking. How are you?” or “I’m okay, thanks. How about you?”
For some people, if you ask them the same question, they may nod and say "I'm good" or "I'm fine" and then be on their way. Don't be discouraged; asking how someone is doing is sometimes not taken as a real invitation to say much.
3. Reading the Situation Properly
3-1. Take into account your relationship with the person.
If you are close to the person and have spoken to them about personal experiences or feelings before, it may make sense for you to give them a detailed answer. If you do not know the person well, such as someone you work with or know through a friend or family member, you may keep your response brief and polite.
You may give a detailed answer if you want to develop your relationship with the person on a deeper level and become closer to them.
Be cautious about opening up just because you feel awkward and don't really feel close to the person.
3-2. Notice when and where the person asks “How are you?”
If the person asks you at work at the coffee machine, they may expect a brief, polite answer that is appropriate for an office setting. If the person asks you over drinks or dinner after work or school, you may give them a more detailed, personal answer.
If you are around others in a group setting, you may opt for a brief, polite response as you it may not be appropriate for you to give a long winded or personal answer in front of others.
In most cases, if you are among friends or family, giving a detailed response may be okay. If you are around coworkers, peers, or authority figures, a more polite, short response may be the way to go.
3-3. Pay attention to the person’s body language.
Notice if the person maintains eye contact with you and stands still, with their body turned towards you. These are usually signs the person wants to connect with you on a deeper level and have a conversation with you.
If the person does not make eye contact or brief eye contact and is walking by you, they may not be interested in a long chat. In this case, you may opt for a brief, short response so the situation does not become awkward.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:06",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Giving a Brief, Standard Response\\n1-1. Respond with “Fine, thanks” or “I’m good, thanks.\\\"\\nYou can use these responses if you are speaking to someone in a social situation you do not know well, such as an acquaintance at a party or someone you have just met while out and about.\\nYou can also use these responses if you are talking to someone at work, such as a coworker, a client, or your boss.\\n1-2. Answer with “Not bad” or “Can’t complain” if you want to come across positive and friendly.\\nYou can also say “Not too shabby” or “Things are good.” These responses are a good way to present a positive demeanor to a coworker, a client, a boss, or an acquaintance.\\n1-3. Say “I’m okay, thanks” if you aren’t feeling well but want to be polite.\\nIf you are feeling ill or a little sick, you can use this response to let the person know this in a polite way. The person can then move on with the conversation or ask you more probing questions.\\nThis is a good response if you do not want to lie about how you are feeling, but you do not want to be too honest or personal with the person.\\n1-4. Make eye contact with the person when you respond.\\nEngage with them by looking them in the eye when you answer their question, even if you are trying to be polite or brief with your response. Keep your arms relaxed by your sides and your body turned towards them to demonstrate positive body language. This will make them feel more at ease in the conversation.\\nYou can also smile or nod if you want to appear friendly.\\n2. Providing an Answer to Encourage Conversation\\n2-1. Give a detailed answer when responding to a close friend, a family member, or your partner.\\nThese are likely individuals you are close with and trust on a personal level. Tell them how you are feeling in a more meaningful and detailed way.\\nYou may also be honest and tell a coworker or peer you are close with how you are actually feeling.\\n2-2. Express how you are feeling.\\nRespond by saying, “Actually, I’ve been feeling…” or “You know, I have been feeling…” If you are feeling depressed or going through a tough time, you could also mention that so that your loved ones can help you. \\nFor example, you may respond, “Actually, I’ve been feeling a little down lately. I think I might be struggling with stress and anxiety” if you have not been feeling well or like yourself.\\nYou may respond, “You know, I’ve been feeling great. I finally have a job I love and I’m feeling more confident these days” if you are feeling positive and happy.\\n2-3. Provide a detailed response when your doctor asks “How are you?”\\nLet them know if you are not feeling well or have a health issue that has been bothering you, as this will allow them to treat you properly.\\nYou should also give an honest answer to any other medical professionals, such as a nurse or a paramedic. If you are not feeling well, they need to know that so they can help you to feel better.\\n2-4. Say “Not great” or “I think I’m coming down with something” if you are feeling ill.\\nThis response will allow you to be honest and let the person know you are not feeling well. They may then ask you more questions and show sympathy for how you are feeling.\\nOnly use this response if you want to talk about your sickness or illness with the person. It is usually a prompt for the other person to find out more and try to make you feel better.\\n2-5. Wrap up your response with “Thanks for asking.”\\nLet the person know you appreciate their question and their willingness to listen to your long answer. This is a good way to end your response on a positive note, even if your response was about how you are feeling negative or not well.\\nYou can also say, “I appreciate that you asked how I was, thank you” or “Thanks for listening.”\\n2-6. Ask the person how they are doing.\\nShow the person you want to engage in deeper conversation by asking “How are you?” once you have responded to their question.\\nFor example, you may say, “I’m fine, thanks for asking. How are you?” or “I’m okay, thanks. How about you?”\\nFor some people, if you ask them the same question, they may nod and say \\\"I'm good\\\" or \\\"I'm fine\\\" and then be on their way. Don't be discouraged; asking how someone is doing is sometimes not taken as a real invitation to say much.\\n3. Reading the Situation Properly\\n3-1. Take into account your relationship with the person.\\nIf you are close to the person and have spoken to them about personal experiences or feelings before, it may make sense for you to give them a detailed answer. If you do not know the person well, such as someone you work with or know through a friend or family member, you may keep your response brief and polite.\\nYou may give a detailed answer if you want to develop your relationship with the person on a deeper level and become closer to them.\\nBe cautious about opening up just because you feel awkward and don't really feel close to the person.\\n3-2. Notice when and where the person asks “How are you?”\\nIf the person asks you at work at the coffee machine, they may expect a brief, polite answer that is appropriate for an office setting. If the person asks you over drinks or dinner after work or school, you may give them a more detailed, personal answer.\\nIf you are around others in a group setting, you may opt for a brief, polite response as you it may not be appropriate for you to give a long winded or personal answer in front of others.\\nIn most cases, if you are among friends or family, giving a detailed response may be okay. If you are around coworkers, peers, or authority figures, a more polite, short response may be the way to go.\\n3-3. Pay attention to the person’s body language.\\nNotice if the person maintains eye contact with you and stands still, with their body turned towards you. These are usually signs the person wants to connect with you on a deeper level and have a conversation with you.\\nIf the person does not make eye contact or brief eye contact and is walking by you, they may not be interested in a long chat. In this case, you may opt for a brief, short response so the situation does not become awkward.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"People ask the question “How are you?” in conversation as a way to greet you and engage with you. Answering this question can be tricky, and you may not be sure the best way to respond. In professional situations at work or with an acquaintance, you can give a brief, polite response. In other cases where you are talking to a close friend or family member, you can respond with a longer answer and engage them in a deeper conversation. With a few considerations, you can answer this common question correctly depending on the social situation you are in.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Giving a Brief, Standard Response\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Respond with “Fine, thanks” or “I’m good, thanks.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"You can use these responses if you are speaking to someone in a social situation you do not know well, such as an acquaintance at a party or someone you have just met while out and about.\\nYou can also use these responses if you are talking to someone at work, such as a coworker, a client, or your boss.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Answer with “Not bad” or “Can’t complain” if you want to come across positive and friendly.\", \"描述\": \"You can also say “Not too shabby” or “Things are good.” These responses are a good way to present a positive demeanor to a coworker, a client, a boss, or an acquaintance.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Say “I’m okay, thanks” if you aren’t feeling well but want to be polite.\", \"描述\": \"If you are feeling ill or a little sick, you can use this response to let the person know this in a polite way. The person can then move on with the conversation or ask you more probing questions.\\nThis is a good response if you do not want to lie about how you are feeling, but you do not want to be too honest or personal with the person.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact with the person when you respond.\", \"描述\": \"Engage with them by looking them in the eye when you answer their question, even if you are trying to be polite or brief with your response. Keep your arms relaxed by your sides and your body turned towards them to demonstrate positive body language. This will make them feel more at ease in the conversation.\\nYou can also smile or nod if you want to appear friendly.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Providing an Answer to Encourage Conversation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give a detailed answer when responding to a close friend, a family member, or your partner.\", \"描述\": \"These are likely individuals you are close with and trust on a personal level. Tell them how you are feeling in a more meaningful and detailed way.\\nYou may also be honest and tell a coworker or peer you are close with how you are actually feeling.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Express how you are feeling.\", \"描述\": \"Respond by saying, “Actually, I’ve been feeling…” or “You know, I have been feeling…” If you are feeling depressed or going through a tough time, you could also mention that so that your loved ones can help you. \\nFor example, you may respond, “Actually, I’ve been feeling a little down lately. I think I might be struggling with stress and anxiety” if you have not been feeling well or like yourself.\\nYou may respond, “You know, I’ve been feeling great. I finally have a job I love and I’m feeling more confident these days” if you are feeling positive and happy.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Provide a detailed response when your doctor asks “How are you?”\", \"描述\": \"Let them know if you are not feeling well or have a health issue that has been bothering you, as this will allow them to treat you properly.\\nYou should also give an honest answer to any other medical professionals, such as a nurse or a paramedic. If you are not feeling well, they need to know that so they can help you to feel better.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Say “Not great” or “I think I’m coming down with something” if you are feeling ill.\", \"描述\": \"This response will allow you to be honest and let the person know you are not feeling well. They may then ask you more questions and show sympathy for how you are feeling.\\nOnly use this response if you want to talk about your sickness or illness with the person. It is usually a prompt for the other person to find out more and try to make you feel better.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Wrap up your response with “Thanks for asking.”\", \"描述\": \"Let the person know you appreciate their question and their willingness to listen to your long answer. This is a good way to end your response on a positive note, even if your response was about how you are feeling negative or not well.\\nYou can also say, “I appreciate that you asked how I was, thank you” or “Thanks for listening.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask the person how they are doing.\", \"描述\": \"Show the person you want to engage in deeper conversation by asking “How are you?” once you have responded to their question.\\nFor example, you may say, “I’m fine, thanks for asking. How are you?” or “I’m okay, thanks. How about you?”\\nFor some people, if you ask them the same question, they may nod and say \\\"I'm good\\\" or \\\"I'm fine\\\" and then be on their way. Don't be discouraged; asking how someone is doing is sometimes not taken as a real invitation to say much.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Reading the Situation Properly\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take into account your relationship with the person.\", \"描述\": \"If you are close to the person and have spoken to them about personal experiences or feelings before, it may make sense for you to give them a detailed answer. If you do not know the person well, such as someone you work with or know through a friend or family member, you may keep your response brief and polite.\\nYou may give a detailed answer if you want to develop your relationship with the person on a deeper level and become closer to them.\\nBe cautious about opening up just because you feel awkward and don't really feel close to the person.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Notice when and where the person asks “How are you?”\", \"描述\": \"If the person asks you at work at the coffee machine, they may expect a brief, polite answer that is appropriate for an office setting. If the person asks you over drinks or dinner after work or school, you may give them a more detailed, personal answer.\\nIf you are around others in a group setting, you may opt for a brief, polite response as you it may not be appropriate for you to give a long winded or personal answer in front of others.\\nIn most cases, if you are among friends or family, giving a detailed response may be okay. If you are around coworkers, peers, or authority figures, a more polite, short response may be the way to go.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to the person’s body language.\", \"描述\": \"Notice if the person maintains eye contact with you and stands still, with their body turned towards you. These are usually signs the person wants to connect with you on a deeper level and have a conversation with you.\\nIf the person does not make eye contact or brief eye contact and is walking by you, they may not be interested in a long chat. In this case, you may opt for a brief, short response so the situation does not become awkward.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,768 | How to Answer when Your Crush Asks You a Strange Question | 1. Buying More Time
1-1. Pause.
Don’t feel like you have to respond right away. Take a few seconds to collect your thoughts and take a deep breath. If the question is really awkward and strange, you want some time to respond appropriately. It can be awkward if you say something that doesn’t make sense!
1-2. Smile.
If you like this person, you should give them the benefit of the doubt that their question wasn’t supposed to make you uncomfortable. Don’t become cold or angry immediately. Smile and indicate that you still like this person and want to work out this awkwardness.
1-3. Ask for clarification.
If you want to buy even more time, ask your crush for clarification on what they asked you and why they asked. Here are some example questions:
What did you say?
What do you mean by that?
Why are you asking?
2. Dodging the Question
2-1. Laugh it off.
Assume that your crush is making a weird, not funny joke. Give them a chuckle and then move on. Smile at the person and laugh a little bit in a natural way.
This strategy works especially well for questions that seem to be teasing and/or not really serious. If your crush asks you if you have ten kittens in your backpack, they’re probably not being serious. Questions like this seem strange but might just be bad jokes.
2-2. Joke around.
Take a second and ask yourself if your crush could have been joking. Could they want you to say something strange back? Have they done this before? Try to find a way that their statement could be a joke and then respond accordingly.
If your crush asks you, “Have you ever been to the Moon?”, say, “Yes, I have. Just got back this morning!”
2-3. Tell the person that you don’t want to answer that question.
If your crush asks you something too personal, tell them that you don’t want to answer that.
Say, “I don’t really want to answer that question.” You could also try, “I’m not going to answer that.” Be firm but not mean.
2-4. Say you don’t know.
If it’s a personal question, saying “I don’t know” indicates that you don’t want to answer it. If it’s not a personal question about you, just say you don’t know the answer. It’s truthful and ends the conversation quickly.
For example, if your crush asks you, “How loudly do you snore at night?”, tell them that you don’t know because you are asleep.
Or, if your crush asks you what the capital of a faraway country is, say you don’t know (if you actually don’t know).
2-5. Tell them that the question made you uncomfortable, if this is applicable.
If your crush asks you something really rude or disrespectful, you should tell them that their question made you uncomfortable. If the person is worth dating, they will respect you and try to understand your point of view.
You can say, “That question makes me uncomfortable, and I don’t want to answer it. Please don’t ask me questions like this again.”
2-6. Ask them about something else.
Change the subject quickly. Do not feel the need to continue having this strange conversation. Ask your crush about a common interest of yours, their school or workplace, the weather, current events, or anything else that interests either you or your crush.
You can also say that you have to go. Make up an excuse to get out of the situation. You do not have to stay if you feel disrespected or uncomfortable.
3. Making Your Crush Feel Comfortable
3-1. Initiate a different conversation.
Maybe your crush asked an awkward question in an effort to talk to you or get to know you, but they didn’t know exactly what to say. Initiate a new conversation with your crush where you talk about something that you actually do want to talk about. Initiating conversations show people that you’re interested in them and want to get to know them more. Here are some sample questions you could ask your crush:
What did you do this weekend? What are your plans this upcoming weekend?
Do you have any pets?
What’s your favorite subject in school? Why?
If you could have any superpower, what would it be? Why?
What’s your favorite food?
3-2. Use positive, open body language.
Your body language says a lot about you in social situations. If you want to make your crush feel more comfortable, you should make an effort to ensure that your body language is welcoming. Here are some tips to do this:
Smile.
Maintain good eye contact with the person.
Uncross your arms if they are crossed. Turn towards the person.
Nod while the person speaks.
3-3. Give your crush a compliment.
Compliments make people feel appreciated. While your crush is talking, think about what you like about them. Give them an unusual, thoughtful compliment. Here are some examples:
“I really like the way you tell stories. You always make them funny and have great timing.”
“I loved what you said in class about psychology! You brought a really unique perspective to the conversation.”
“Those socks are great! Did you buy them because you like avocados?”
Tips
Be polite to your crush at first. The awkwardness may come from a misunderstanding. Ask for clarification before you make a judgment!
If you are shy around your crush, just try thinking of them as any other boy. Think of them as another boy you know that you act normal around.
Warnings
If the question is "strange" insofar as it is too intimate, embarrassing, or it makes you uncomfortable, it is important to consider why you are interested in this person.
Don't compromise yourself to impress a crush. If he acts in a way that is weird or perverted, don't tolerate it just because you think he's cute or cool or popular.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:06",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Buying More Time\\n1-1. Pause.\\nDon’t feel like you have to respond right away. Take a few seconds to collect your thoughts and take a deep breath. If the question is really awkward and strange, you want some time to respond appropriately. It can be awkward if you say something that doesn’t make sense!\\n1-2. Smile.\\nIf you like this person, you should give them the benefit of the doubt that their question wasn’t supposed to make you uncomfortable. Don’t become cold or angry immediately. Smile and indicate that you still like this person and want to work out this awkwardness.\\n1-3. Ask for clarification.\\nIf you want to buy even more time, ask your crush for clarification on what they asked you and why they asked. Here are some example questions:\\nWhat did you say?\\nWhat do you mean by that?\\nWhy are you asking?\\n2. Dodging the Question\\n2-1. Laugh it off.\\nAssume that your crush is making a weird, not funny joke. Give them a chuckle and then move on. Smile at the person and laugh a little bit in a natural way.\\nThis strategy works especially well for questions that seem to be teasing and/or not really serious. If your crush asks you if you have ten kittens in your backpack, they’re probably not being serious. Questions like this seem strange but might just be bad jokes.\\n2-2. Joke around.\\nTake a second and ask yourself if your crush could have been joking. Could they want you to say something strange back? Have they done this before? Try to find a way that their statement could be a joke and then respond accordingly.\\nIf your crush asks you, “Have you ever been to the Moon?”, say, “Yes, I have. Just got back this morning!”\\n2-3. Tell the person that you don’t want to answer that question.\\nIf your crush asks you something too personal, tell them that you don’t want to answer that.\\nSay, “I don’t really want to answer that question.” You could also try, “I’m not going to answer that.” Be firm but not mean.\\n2-4. Say you don’t know.\\nIf it’s a personal question, saying “I don’t know” indicates that you don’t want to answer it. If it’s not a personal question about you, just say you don’t know the answer. It’s truthful and ends the conversation quickly.\\nFor example, if your crush asks you, “How loudly do you snore at night?”, tell them that you don’t know because you are asleep.\\nOr, if your crush asks you what the capital of a faraway country is, say you don’t know (if you actually don’t know).\\n2-5. Tell them that the question made you uncomfortable, if this is applicable.\\nIf your crush asks you something really rude or disrespectful, you should tell them that their question made you uncomfortable. If the person is worth dating, they will respect you and try to understand your point of view.\\nYou can say, “That question makes me uncomfortable, and I don’t want to answer it. Please don’t ask me questions like this again.”\\n2-6. Ask them about something else.\\nChange the subject quickly. Do not feel the need to continue having this strange conversation. Ask your crush about a common interest of yours, their school or workplace, the weather, current events, or anything else that interests either you or your crush.\\nYou can also say that you have to go. Make up an excuse to get out of the situation. You do not have to stay if you feel disrespected or uncomfortable.\\n3. Making Your Crush Feel Comfortable\\n3-1. Initiate a different conversation.\\nMaybe your crush asked an awkward question in an effort to talk to you or get to know you, but they didn’t know exactly what to say. Initiate a new conversation with your crush where you talk about something that you actually do want to talk about. Initiating conversations show people that you’re interested in them and want to get to know them more. Here are some sample questions you could ask your crush:\\nWhat did you do this weekend? What are your plans this upcoming weekend?\\nDo you have any pets?\\nWhat’s your favorite subject in school? Why?\\nIf you could have any superpower, what would it be? Why?\\nWhat’s your favorite food?\\n3-2. Use positive, open body language.\\nYour body language says a lot about you in social situations. If you want to make your crush feel more comfortable, you should make an effort to ensure that your body language is welcoming. Here are some tips to do this:\\nSmile.\\nMaintain good eye contact with the person.\\nUncross your arms if they are crossed. Turn towards the person.\\nNod while the person speaks.\\n3-3. Give your crush a compliment.\\nCompliments make people feel appreciated. While your crush is talking, think about what you like about them. Give them an unusual, thoughtful compliment. Here are some examples:\\n“I really like the way you tell stories. You always make them funny and have great timing.”\\n“I loved what you said in class about psychology! You brought a really unique perspective to the conversation.”\\n“Those socks are great! Did you buy them because you like avocados?”\\nTips\\nBe polite to your crush at first. The awkwardness may come from a misunderstanding. Ask for clarification before you make a judgment!\\nIf you are shy around your crush, just try thinking of them as any other boy. Think of them as another boy you know that you act normal around.\\nWarnings\\nIf the question is \\\"strange\\\" insofar as it is too intimate, embarrassing, or it makes you uncomfortable, it is important to consider why you are interested in this person.\\nDon't compromise yourself to impress a crush. If he acts in a way that is weird or perverted, don't tolerate it just because you think he's cute or cool or popular.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It’s an exciting feeling to talk to your crush, but sometimes things can get awkward and uncomfortable. When your crush asks you a strange question, you might feel embarrassed or self-conscious. This is totally normal! If this happens, the key is to answer the question gracefully and get out of the situation quickly.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Buying More Time\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pause.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t feel like you have to respond right away. Take a few seconds to collect your thoughts and take a deep breath. If the question is really awkward and strange, you want some time to respond appropriately. It can be awkward if you say something that doesn’t make sense!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Smile.\", \"描述\": \"If you like this person, you should give them the benefit of the doubt that their question wasn’t supposed to make you uncomfortable. Don’t become cold or angry immediately. Smile and indicate that you still like this person and want to work out this awkwardness.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask for clarification.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to buy even more time, ask your crush for clarification on what they asked you and why they asked. Here are some example questions:\\nWhat did you say?\\nWhat do you mean by that?\\nWhy are you asking?\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dodging the Question\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Laugh it off.\", \"描述\": \"Assume that your crush is making a weird, not funny joke. Give them a chuckle and then move on. Smile at the person and laugh a little bit in a natural way.\\nThis strategy works especially well for questions that seem to be teasing and/or not really serious. If your crush asks you if you have ten kittens in your backpack, they’re probably not being serious. Questions like this seem strange but might just be bad jokes.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Joke around.\", \"描述\": \"Take a second and ask yourself if your crush could have been joking. Could they want you to say something strange back? Have they done this before? Try to find a way that their statement could be a joke and then respond accordingly.\\nIf your crush asks you, “Have you ever been to the Moon?”, say, “Yes, I have. Just got back this morning!”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tell the person that you don’t want to answer that question.\", \"描述\": \"If your crush asks you something too personal, tell them that you don’t want to answer that.\\nSay, “I don’t really want to answer that question.” You could also try, “I’m not going to answer that.” Be firm but not mean.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Say you don’t know.\", \"描述\": \"If it’s a personal question, saying “I don’t know” indicates that you don’t want to answer it. If it’s not a personal question about you, just say you don’t know the answer. It’s truthful and ends the conversation quickly.\\nFor example, if your crush asks you, “How loudly do you snore at night?”, tell them that you don’t know because you are asleep.\\nOr, if your crush asks you what the capital of a faraway country is, say you don’t know (if you actually don’t know).\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Tell them that the question made you uncomfortable, if this is applicable.\", \"描述\": \"If your crush asks you something really rude or disrespectful, you should tell them that their question made you uncomfortable. If the person is worth dating, they will respect you and try to understand your point of view.\\nYou can say, “That question makes me uncomfortable, and I don’t want to answer it. Please don’t ask me questions like this again.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask them about something else.\", \"描述\": \"Change the subject quickly. Do not feel the need to continue having this strange conversation. Ask your crush about a common interest of yours, their school or workplace, the weather, current events, or anything else that interests either you or your crush.\\nYou can also say that you have to go. Make up an excuse to get out of the situation. You do not have to stay if you feel disrespected or uncomfortable.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Making Your Crush Feel Comfortable\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Initiate a different conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Maybe your crush asked an awkward question in an effort to talk to you or get to know you, but they didn’t know exactly what to say. Initiate a new conversation with your crush where you talk about something that you actually do want to talk about. Initiating conversations show people that you’re interested in them and want to get to know them more. Here are some sample questions you could ask your crush:\\nWhat did you do this weekend? What are your plans this upcoming weekend?\\nDo you have any pets?\\nWhat’s your favorite subject in school? Why?\\nIf you could have any superpower, what would it be? Why?\\nWhat’s your favorite food?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use positive, open body language.\", \"描述\": \"Your body language says a lot about you in social situations. If you want to make your crush feel more comfortable, you should make an effort to ensure that your body language is welcoming. Here are some tips to do this:\\nSmile.\\nMaintain good eye contact with the person.\\nUncross your arms if they are crossed. Turn towards the person.\\nNod while the person speaks.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give your crush a compliment.\", \"描述\": \"Compliments make people feel appreciated. While your crush is talking, think about what you like about them. Give them an unusual, thoughtful compliment. Here are some examples:\\n“I really like the way you tell stories. You always make them funny and have great timing.”\\n“I loved what you said in class about psychology! You brought a really unique perspective to the conversation.”\\n“Those socks are great! Did you buy them because you like avocados?”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be polite to your crush at first. The awkwardness may come from a misunderstanding. Ask for clarification before you make a judgment!\\n\", \"If you are shy around your crush, just try thinking of them as any other boy. Think of them as another boy you know that you act normal around.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If the question is \\\"strange\\\" insofar as it is too intimate, embarrassing, or it makes you uncomfortable, it is important to consider why you are interested in this person.\\n\", \"Don't compromise yourself to impress a crush. If he acts in a way that is weird or perverted, don't tolerate it just because you think he's cute or cool or popular.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,769 | How to Tell Anti-Jokes That Are So Unfunny You’ll Laugh Anyway | 1. “How do you raise a child? Lift them up.”
Be extremely literal.
When telling an anti-joke, offer a colorful set-up to make people think they might know where your joke is going. Then, give an extremely bland and logical answer. Comedy isn’t known for its rationality, so you being so literal will catch people off-guard. And comedy is all about surprise.
What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing. Neither of those things can talk.
I tried to catch the fog the other day. But I remembered that fog is an intangible water vapor and there are a lot of other productive ways I could be spending my time.
What’s the difference between a Republican and a breadstick? A Republican is a politician who advocates for a more conservative legislature. A breadstick is a long, thin piece of bread.
2. “What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.”
Make your punchline as obvious as possible.
Anti-jokes aren’t known for their creativity. In fact, they celebrate the lack of it. When telling an anti-joke punchline, make your response as close to the set-up as possible. Part of the humor will come from your audience thinking “Duh! How did I not see that coming?”
What did Batman say to Robin before they entered the bat cave? “Hey Robin. Wanna go to the bat cave?”
What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? “We are both lawyers.”
How do you get a clown off a swing? Say “hey clown, can you please get off this swing?”
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? ‘Where’s my tractor?’
What did the cop say when the cat peed on his uniform? “Ew. There’s a cat peeing on my uniform.”
3. “Yo mama so old…she lived a long, fulfilling life."
Tell an inspiring, but unfunny story.
Comedy comes from conflict. So, since an anti-joke is the opposite of a traditionally good joke, eliminate the conflict from the situation altogether. Find a way to completely resolve your set-up in a way that’s not funny or silly whatsoever.
A man walks into a bar. He decides he’s not particularly thirsty and should spend more time with his family. He walks home and tells his wife and children he loves them.
What kind of exercise do lazy people do? It doesn’t matter. They’re trying to develop healthier habits and we should support them, regardless of their specific fitness regimen.
How did the tone-deaf man win the karaoke competition? He placed a lot of energy and charisma into his performance, winning the judges’ respect despite his apparent shortcomings.
A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They have a pleasant and enlightening discussion where they learn a lot about each other’s points of view regarding higher powers.
4. “‘Knock knock.’ ‘Come in!’”
Subvert a joke that’s already been told a million times.
Part of the popularity of anti-jokes comes from the fact that people feel like they've heard other types of jokes a little too often. Lead your audience into thinking they can see your punchline a mile away. Then, swerve at the last second to catch them off guard.
Why did the chicken cross the road? I don’t know. Unfortunately, our society is not scientifically advanced enough to predict the behavior of chickens.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I’m bad at rhyming. Do you like ska music?
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down…because I’ve surgically attached it to my hand.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shake her softly and say “hey Lady Gaga, it’s time to wake up.”
I just flew in from a ‘Keep Your Arms Up for a Really Long Time’ tournament. And boy are my arms tired!
5. “What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Sepsis.”
Make your anti-joke dark and depressing.
Most people tell jokes that are light and playful. To embrace anti-humor, steer your jokes the exact opposite direction. Make your punchlines as morbid or unnecessarily dark as possible (as long as you know your audience can handle it).
A guy walks into a bar. He hits his head and has to go to the hospital. The healthcare costs are extravagant and he goes bankrupt.
Why did Johnny drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.
What’s George Washington’s favorite food? It doesn’t matter. He’s dead.
Why couldn’t the T-rex clap its hands? Because it was killed by a meteor 66 million years ago.
6. “How do you confuse a Russian? Paint yourself green and throw forks at people.”
Subvert jokes about specific groups of people.
From nationality to religion, one of comedy’s laziest tropes is making fun of specific groups of people. To tell the anti-joke version of this, start by targeting a specific group of people. Then, give a punchline that has nothing to do with that type of person whatsoever.
What’s a dentist’s favorite time? Every dentist is different. Please don’t stereotype.
What do a Blonde and a snail have in common? Neither of them can shoot lasers from their nostrils.
What did the Polish guy say at the silent disco? …
What did the Jewish principal say to her students on their last day of Catholic school? “Thanks for a great year, everyone. Have a nice summer!”
7. “Why couldn’t the T-rex put on a sweater? Because T-rex’s are 40 feet long and sweaters aren’t manufactured at that size.”
Get scientific and/or historical with your joke.
Use logical evidence to undermine the set-ups of your anti-jokes. While most comedians create punchlines to support and complement the first part of each joke, the goal of an anti-joke is to break the mold and offer reason instead of humor.
Why do bears have hairy coats? Bears lived in colder climates so they evolved to have warm, hairy fur in order to survive.
What do you call an anteater that doesn’t eat ants? An anteater. The irony is quite amusing, but the name of the species doesn’t change.
Why didn’t the barista let the fruit bat into the cafe? Because it had webbed skin and carried West Nile virus.
What did the caveman say to the samurai? Nothing. They lived thousands of years apart at two vastly different periods in history.
8. “What’s big, and white, and can’t jump over a fence? A refrigerator.”
Use absurdity in your anti-jokes.
Some anti-jokes break the rules of comedy because they’re sad or logical. Others are just incomprehensible altogether. Make a joke that doesn’t fully make sense. It’s okay if your audience doesn’t laugh. While anti-jokes can be unexpectedly hilarious, they’re just as successful when they make people go ‘huh?’”
I like my men like I like my coffee. Filled with a nutritious amount of riboflavin.
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says ‘we have a drink named after you.’ The grasshopper says “you have a drink named Kevin?”
Why couldn’t the fisherman swim? Because he was strapped to a large cube of copper that had no buoyancy.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 killed 4 people in a hit-in-run last February. Authorities have yet to find him. If you see any suspicious activity, please contact…
Where does the sheep get her haircut? Merle Norman Cosmetics. Everyone is impressed by the well-behaved sheep and she looks surprisingly chic with a bob.
9. “Are you a parking ticket? Because I can’t afford to pay for you.”
Subvert a pick-up line.
Pick-up lines are perhaps the most groan-inducing puns out there (even worse than Dad jokes). Consider using an anti-pick-up line instead. By breaking the pick-up line formula with logic or morbidity, you’re acknowledging how silly pick-up lines are, while still remaining flirty and playful.
Are you from Tennessee? Because I’ve driven past you several times on the way to Disney World.
If I could rearrange the alphabet…that would be pretty cool.
Are those space pants? Because they’re radiating toxic gamma particles that are making it hard for me to breathe.
If you were a library book, I’d say “AAAAAHHHH! A human library book.”
Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven and shattered your spine? Was the physical therapy extensive? Are you okay? Recovery’s a long, difficult process. Is there anything I can do?
10. “Why didn’t Harry Potter go to the buffet? Because he’s not real.”
Erase all possible room for imagination.
Traditional jokes suspend people’s disbelief to make them laugh. They use heightened situations and unusual characters. When telling your anti-joke, do the exact opposite. Reign the set-ups and subjects of your jokes as close to reality as possible. Again, the more logical the better!
How do trees get online? They can’t. They’re inanimate objects.
A horse walks into a bar. Several people leave, recognizing the danger of the situation.
How many Amish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don’t know. Amish people don’t use electricity so it would be impossible to come to a reasonable conclusion.
What did the Chinese man say to the English man?” “你会说中文吗?”
11. “What’s green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.”
Destroy the integrity of the joke’s set-up altogether.
For a traditional joke to work, the punchline has to connect with the set-up and offer new, insightful, or amusing information. But anti-jokes aren’t traditional jokes. To tell a successful anti-joke, use your punchline to cancel out everything you just said in your question.
Why did Peter Pan go to Neverland? Because that’s the plot of the movie.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Stealing is frowned upon. Give it back.
What do you call a pirate with red hair? Dennis, but only if his name is Dennis.
How do you throw a space party? I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking you.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:06",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. “How do you raise a child? Lift them up.”\\nBe extremely literal.\\nWhen telling an anti-joke, offer a colorful set-up to make people think they might know where your joke is going. Then, give an extremely bland and logical answer. Comedy isn’t known for its rationality, so you being so literal will catch people off-guard. And comedy is all about surprise.\\nWhat did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing. Neither of those things can talk.\\nI tried to catch the fog the other day. But I remembered that fog is an intangible water vapor and there are a lot of other productive ways I could be spending my time.\\nWhat’s the difference between a Republican and a breadstick? A Republican is a politician who advocates for a more conservative legislature. A breadstick is a long, thin piece of bread.\\n2. “What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.”\\nMake your punchline as obvious as possible.\\nAnti-jokes aren’t known for their creativity. In fact, they celebrate the lack of it. When telling an anti-joke punchline, make your response as close to the set-up as possible. Part of the humor will come from your audience thinking “Duh! How did I not see that coming?” \\nWhat did Batman say to Robin before they entered the bat cave? “Hey Robin. Wanna go to the bat cave?”\\nWhat’s brown and sticky? A stick.\\nWhat did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? “We are both lawyers.”\\nHow do you get a clown off a swing? Say “hey clown, can you please get off this swing?”\\nWhat did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? ‘Where’s my tractor?’\\nWhat did the cop say when the cat peed on his uniform? “Ew. There’s a cat peeing on my uniform.”\\n3. “Yo mama so old…she lived a long, fulfilling life.\\\"\\nTell an inspiring, but unfunny story.\\nComedy comes from conflict. So, since an anti-joke is the opposite of a traditionally good joke, eliminate the conflict from the situation altogether. Find a way to completely resolve your set-up in a way that’s not funny or silly whatsoever.\\nA man walks into a bar. He decides he’s not particularly thirsty and should spend more time with his family. He walks home and tells his wife and children he loves them.\\nWhat kind of exercise do lazy people do? It doesn’t matter. They’re trying to develop healthier habits and we should support them, regardless of their specific fitness regimen.\\nHow did the tone-deaf man win the karaoke competition? He placed a lot of energy and charisma into his performance, winning the judges’ respect despite his apparent shortcomings.\\nA priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They have a pleasant and enlightening discussion where they learn a lot about each other’s points of view regarding higher powers.\\n4. “‘Knock knock.’ ‘Come in!’”\\nSubvert a joke that’s already been told a million times.\\nPart of the popularity of anti-jokes comes from the fact that people feel like they've heard other types of jokes a little too often. Lead your audience into thinking they can see your punchline a mile away. Then, swerve at the last second to catch them off guard.\\nWhy did the chicken cross the road? I don’t know. Unfortunately, our society is not scientifically advanced enough to predict the behavior of chickens.\\nRoses are red. Violets are blue. I’m bad at rhyming. Do you like ska music?\\nI’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down…because I’ve surgically attached it to my hand.\\nWhat do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.\\nHow do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shake her softly and say “hey Lady Gaga, it’s time to wake up.”\\nI just flew in from a ‘Keep Your Arms Up for a Really Long Time’ tournament. And boy are my arms tired!\\n5. “What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Sepsis.”\\nMake your anti-joke dark and depressing.\\nMost people tell jokes that are light and playful. To embrace anti-humor, steer your jokes the exact opposite direction. Make your punchlines as morbid or unnecessarily dark as possible (as long as you know your audience can handle it).\\nA guy walks into a bar. He hits his head and has to go to the hospital. The healthcare costs are extravagant and he goes bankrupt.\\nWhy did Johnny drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.\\nWhat’s George Washington’s favorite food? It doesn’t matter. He’s dead.\\nWhy couldn’t the T-rex clap its hands? Because it was killed by a meteor 66 million years ago.\\n6. “How do you confuse a Russian? Paint yourself green and throw forks at people.”\\nSubvert jokes about specific groups of people.\\nFrom nationality to religion, one of comedy’s laziest tropes is making fun of specific groups of people. To tell the anti-joke version of this, start by targeting a specific group of people. Then, give a punchline that has nothing to do with that type of person whatsoever.\\nWhat’s a dentist’s favorite time? Every dentist is different. Please don’t stereotype.\\nWhat do a Blonde and a snail have in common? Neither of them can shoot lasers from their nostrils.\\nWhat did the Polish guy say at the silent disco? …\\nWhat did the Jewish principal say to her students on their last day of Catholic school? “Thanks for a great year, everyone. Have a nice summer!”\\n7. “Why couldn’t the T-rex put on a sweater? Because T-rex’s are 40 feet long and sweaters aren’t manufactured at that size.”\\nGet scientific and/or historical with your joke.\\nUse logical evidence to undermine the set-ups of your anti-jokes. While most comedians create punchlines to support and complement the first part of each joke, the goal of an anti-joke is to break the mold and offer reason instead of humor.\\nWhy do bears have hairy coats? Bears lived in colder climates so they evolved to have warm, hairy fur in order to survive.\\nWhat do you call an anteater that doesn’t eat ants? An anteater. The irony is quite amusing, but the name of the species doesn’t change.\\nWhy didn’t the barista let the fruit bat into the cafe? Because it had webbed skin and carried West Nile virus.\\nWhat did the caveman say to the samurai? Nothing. They lived thousands of years apart at two vastly different periods in history.\\n8. “What’s big, and white, and can’t jump over a fence? A refrigerator.”\\nUse absurdity in your anti-jokes.\\nSome anti-jokes break the rules of comedy because they’re sad or logical. Others are just incomprehensible altogether. Make a joke that doesn’t fully make sense. It’s okay if your audience doesn’t laugh. While anti-jokes can be unexpectedly hilarious, they’re just as successful when they make people go ‘huh?’”\\nI like my men like I like my coffee. Filled with a nutritious amount of riboflavin.\\nA grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says ‘we have a drink named after you.’ The grasshopper says “you have a drink named Kevin?”\\nWhy couldn’t the fisherman swim? Because he was strapped to a large cube of copper that had no buoyancy.\\nWhy was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 killed 4 people in a hit-in-run last February. Authorities have yet to find him. If you see any suspicious activity, please contact…\\nWhere does the sheep get her haircut? Merle Norman Cosmetics. Everyone is impressed by the well-behaved sheep and she looks surprisingly chic with a bob.\\n9. “Are you a parking ticket? Because I can’t afford to pay for you.”\\nSubvert a pick-up line.\\nPick-up lines are perhaps the most groan-inducing puns out there (even worse than Dad jokes). Consider using an anti-pick-up line instead. By breaking the pick-up line formula with logic or morbidity, you’re acknowledging how silly pick-up lines are, while still remaining flirty and playful.\\nAre you from Tennessee? Because I’ve driven past you several times on the way to Disney World.\\nIf I could rearrange the alphabet…that would be pretty cool.\\nAre those space pants? Because they’re radiating toxic gamma particles that are making it hard for me to breathe.\\nIf you were a library book, I’d say “AAAAAHHHH! A human library book.”\\nDid it hurt? When you fell from heaven and shattered your spine? Was the physical therapy extensive? Are you okay? Recovery’s a long, difficult process. Is there anything I can do?\\n10. “Why didn’t Harry Potter go to the buffet? Because he’s not real.”\\nErase all possible room for imagination.\\nTraditional jokes suspend people’s disbelief to make them laugh. They use heightened situations and unusual characters. When telling your anti-joke, do the exact opposite. Reign the set-ups and subjects of your jokes as close to reality as possible. Again, the more logical the better!\\nHow do trees get online? They can’t. They’re inanimate objects.\\nA horse walks into a bar. Several people leave, recognizing the danger of the situation.\\nHow many Amish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don’t know. Amish people don’t use electricity so it would be impossible to come to a reasonable conclusion.\\nWhat did the Chinese man say to the English man?” “你会说中文吗?”\\n11. “What’s green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.”\\nDestroy the integrity of the joke’s set-up altogether.\\nFor a traditional joke to work, the punchline has to connect with the set-up and offer new, insightful, or amusing information. But anti-jokes aren’t traditional jokes. To tell a successful anti-joke, use your punchline to cancel out everything you just said in your question.\\nWhy did Peter Pan go to Neverland? Because that’s the plot of the movie.\\nWhat do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Stealing is frowned upon. Give it back.\\nWhat do you call a pirate with red hair? Dennis, but only if his name is Dennis.\\nHow do you throw a space party? I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Anti-jokes are a very unique kind of humor. Unlike other forms of comedy, which use wit, wordplay, and observation to make people laugh, anti-jokes intentionally make their punchlines strange, disappointing, and/or hard to follow. They flip the very idea of what a joke should be on its head! While you’d think this would make all anti-jokes dull or confusing, oftentimes their unexpectedness is actually even more hilarious than a clever pun or funny story. In this article, we’ll offer you dozens of different anti-jokes that you can share with your friends, as well as some tips and tricks to start creating anti-punchlines yourself.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"“How do you raise a child? Lift them up.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be extremely literal.\", \"描述\": \"When telling an anti-joke, offer a colorful set-up to make people think they might know where your joke is going. Then, give an extremely bland and logical answer. Comedy isn’t known for its rationality, so you being so literal will catch people off-guard. And comedy is all about surprise.\\nWhat did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing. Neither of those things can talk.\\nI tried to catch the fog the other day. But I remembered that fog is an intangible water vapor and there are a lot of other productive ways I could be spending my time.\\nWhat’s the difference between a Republican and a breadstick? A Republican is a politician who advocates for a more conservative legislature. A breadstick is a long, thin piece of bread.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"“What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make your punchline as obvious as possible.\", \"描述\": \"Anti-jokes aren’t known for their creativity. In fact, they celebrate the lack of it. When telling an anti-joke punchline, make your response as close to the set-up as possible. Part of the humor will come from your audience thinking “Duh! How did I not see that coming?” \\nWhat did Batman say to Robin before they entered the bat cave? “Hey Robin. Wanna go to the bat cave?”\\nWhat’s brown and sticky? A stick.\\nWhat did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? “We are both lawyers.”\\nHow do you get a clown off a swing? Say “hey clown, can you please get off this swing?”\\nWhat did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? ‘Where’s my tractor?’\\nWhat did the cop say when the cat peed on his uniform? “Ew. There’s a cat peeing on my uniform.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"“Yo mama so old…she lived a long, fulfilling life.\\\"\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tell an inspiring, but unfunny story.\", \"描述\": \"Comedy comes from conflict. So, since an anti-joke is the opposite of a traditionally good joke, eliminate the conflict from the situation altogether. Find a way to completely resolve your set-up in a way that’s not funny or silly whatsoever.\\nA man walks into a bar. He decides he’s not particularly thirsty and should spend more time with his family. He walks home and tells his wife and children he loves them.\\nWhat kind of exercise do lazy people do? It doesn’t matter. They’re trying to develop healthier habits and we should support them, regardless of their specific fitness regimen.\\nHow did the tone-deaf man win the karaoke competition? He placed a lot of energy and charisma into his performance, winning the judges’ respect despite his apparent shortcomings.\\nA priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They have a pleasant and enlightening discussion where they learn a lot about each other’s points of view regarding higher powers.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"“‘Knock knock.’ ‘Come in!’”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Subvert a joke that’s already been told a million times.\", \"描述\": \"Part of the popularity of anti-jokes comes from the fact that people feel like they've heard other types of jokes a little too often. Lead your audience into thinking they can see your punchline a mile away. Then, swerve at the last second to catch them off guard.\\nWhy did the chicken cross the road? I don’t know. Unfortunately, our society is not scientifically advanced enough to predict the behavior of chickens.\\nRoses are red. Violets are blue. I’m bad at rhyming. Do you like ska music?\\nI’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down…because I’ve surgically attached it to my hand.\\nWhat do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.\\nHow do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shake her softly and say “hey Lady Gaga, it’s time to wake up.”\\nI just flew in from a ‘Keep Your Arms Up for a Really Long Time’ tournament. And boy are my arms tired!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"“What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Sepsis.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make your anti-joke dark and depressing.\", \"描述\": \"Most people tell jokes that are light and playful. To embrace anti-humor, steer your jokes the exact opposite direction. Make your punchlines as morbid or unnecessarily dark as possible (as long as you know your audience can handle it).\\nA guy walks into a bar. He hits his head and has to go to the hospital. The healthcare costs are extravagant and he goes bankrupt.\\nWhy did Johnny drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.\\nWhat’s George Washington’s favorite food? It doesn’t matter. He’s dead.\\nWhy couldn’t the T-rex clap its hands? Because it was killed by a meteor 66 million years ago.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"“How do you confuse a Russian? Paint yourself green and throw forks at people.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Subvert jokes about specific groups of people.\", \"描述\": \"From nationality to religion, one of comedy’s laziest tropes is making fun of specific groups of people. To tell the anti-joke version of this, start by targeting a specific group of people. Then, give a punchline that has nothing to do with that type of person whatsoever.\\nWhat’s a dentist’s favorite time? Every dentist is different. Please don’t stereotype.\\nWhat do a Blonde and a snail have in common? Neither of them can shoot lasers from their nostrils.\\nWhat did the Polish guy say at the silent disco? …\\nWhat did the Jewish principal say to her students on their last day of Catholic school? “Thanks for a great year, everyone. Have a nice summer!”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"“Why couldn’t the T-rex put on a sweater? Because T-rex’s are 40 feet long and sweaters aren’t manufactured at that size.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get scientific and/or historical with your joke.\", \"描述\": \"Use logical evidence to undermine the set-ups of your anti-jokes. While most comedians create punchlines to support and complement the first part of each joke, the goal of an anti-joke is to break the mold and offer reason instead of humor.\\nWhy do bears have hairy coats? Bears lived in colder climates so they evolved to have warm, hairy fur in order to survive.\\nWhat do you call an anteater that doesn’t eat ants? An anteater. The irony is quite amusing, but the name of the species doesn’t change.\\nWhy didn’t the barista let the fruit bat into the cafe? Because it had webbed skin and carried West Nile virus.\\nWhat did the caveman say to the samurai? Nothing. They lived thousands of years apart at two vastly different periods in history.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"“What’s big, and white, and can’t jump over a fence? A refrigerator.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use absurdity in your anti-jokes.\", \"描述\": \"Some anti-jokes break the rules of comedy because they’re sad or logical. Others are just incomprehensible altogether. Make a joke that doesn’t fully make sense. It’s okay if your audience doesn’t laugh. While anti-jokes can be unexpectedly hilarious, they’re just as successful when they make people go ‘huh?’”\\nI like my men like I like my coffee. Filled with a nutritious amount of riboflavin.\\nA grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says ‘we have a drink named after you.’ The grasshopper says “you have a drink named Kevin?”\\nWhy couldn’t the fisherman swim? Because he was strapped to a large cube of copper that had no buoyancy.\\nWhy was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 killed 4 people in a hit-in-run last February. Authorities have yet to find him. If you see any suspicious activity, please contact…\\nWhere does the sheep get her haircut? Merle Norman Cosmetics. Everyone is impressed by the well-behaved sheep and she looks surprisingly chic with a bob.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"“Are you a parking ticket? Because I can’t afford to pay for you.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Subvert a pick-up line.\", \"描述\": \"Pick-up lines are perhaps the most groan-inducing puns out there (even worse than Dad jokes). Consider using an anti-pick-up line instead. By breaking the pick-up line formula with logic or morbidity, you’re acknowledging how silly pick-up lines are, while still remaining flirty and playful.\\nAre you from Tennessee? Because I’ve driven past you several times on the way to Disney World.\\nIf I could rearrange the alphabet…that would be pretty cool.\\nAre those space pants? Because they’re radiating toxic gamma particles that are making it hard for me to breathe.\\nIf you were a library book, I’d say “AAAAAHHHH! A human library book.”\\nDid it hurt? When you fell from heaven and shattered your spine? Was the physical therapy extensive? Are you okay? Recovery’s a long, difficult process. Is there anything I can do?\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"“Why didn’t Harry Potter go to the buffet? Because he’s not real.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Erase all possible room for imagination.\", \"描述\": \"Traditional jokes suspend people’s disbelief to make them laugh. They use heightened situations and unusual characters. When telling your anti-joke, do the exact opposite. Reign the set-ups and subjects of your jokes as close to reality as possible. Again, the more logical the better!\\nHow do trees get online? They can’t. They’re inanimate objects.\\nA horse walks into a bar. Several people leave, recognizing the danger of the situation.\\nHow many Amish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don’t know. Amish people don’t use electricity so it would be impossible to come to a reasonable conclusion.\\nWhat did the Chinese man say to the English man?” “你会说中文吗?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"“What’s green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Destroy the integrity of the joke’s set-up altogether.\", \"描述\": \"For a traditional joke to work, the punchline has to connect with the set-up and offer new, insightful, or amusing information. But anti-jokes aren’t traditional jokes. To tell a successful anti-joke, use your punchline to cancel out everything you just said in your question.\\nWhy did Peter Pan go to Neverland? Because that’s the plot of the movie.\\nWhat do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Stealing is frowned upon. Give it back.\\nWhat do you call a pirate with red hair? Dennis, but only if his name is Dennis.\\nHow do you throw a space party? I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking you.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,770 | How to Anticipate Customer Needs | 1. Anticipating Future and Recurring Customers
1-1. Apply Customer Relationship Management (CRM) tools.
These tools can be purchased as software, or can be put together through a marketing team. CRM tools will help you gather information about your customers involving:
Tracking marketing success
Tracking customer relationships
Tracking customer demographic
Tracking customers who have responded to promotional material.
Tracking the success of your marketing activities
1-2. Employ “next best action” (NBA) approach.
This active approach can anticipate what your customer may need in the future. By employing this, you may exceed your customer’s expectation and gain a loyal following.
For example, consider if you own a baking company. A woman comes to order a wedding cake for her daughter’s wedding. As a baker, you could suggest an appropriate wedding topper or serving knife to go with her order. By anticipating the woman’s future actions, you may be able to promote additional sales.
1-3. Have a clear vision for the future.
You want to have clear answers to important questions that will define the future of your business. These will both financially and customer centered. This will help you anticipate the needs of not only your customers, but also you business and staff. Ask yourself:
“What do I want for my customers?”
“What sort of customers do I want to attract?”
”Why does my business exist?”
”How can I present this vision my employees, stakeholders, customers?”
1-4. Be accountable.
While the old adage “the customer is always right" may be a bit cliche, it still holds truth in the business world. To garner repeat and loyal customers, it is important for you to be accountable for your company’s actions.
Accountability happens as soon as the customer walks through your door. Greet your customers at the door to show that you have a personal interest in their well-being.
Be accountable for any mistakes. Whether it is a damaged product, or a mislabeled price, it is your responsibility to work with the customer. Offer a free replacement or reduced price. Offer the customer to purchase the product at the advertised price. This will show integrity as well as accountability.
1-5. Be honest with your customers, employees, and/or employers.
Honesty is the best practice. If a customer asks about a mistake in a project, be honest with them. They will be more likely to respond positively.
Do not lie to a customer about a product or project in hopes for a better sale. This will not cultivate a good relationship for the future. When you are anticipating future business, think about what would happen if the offended party would find out the truth.
1-6. Be humble
Humility keeps the mind open.. To grow as an individual and a company, you must maintain an open mind for change and evolution.
Be aware of your surroundings -- Pay attention to whom you are speaking. Be aware of their body language and what is appropriate given the situation.
Be aware of your limitations -- Do you not over-extend yourself of what you are capable of doing or promising.
Put others first -- This could be your clients or employees. This will help you maintain respect and make future difficult decisions easier to manage.
2. Actively Listening to Your Customers
2-1. Learn to actively listen
Active listening is an important skill to learn to be an effective communicator. Effective communication is an important tool to anticipate customer’s needs. To actively listen, try some of these tips:
Face your audience and maintain eye contact.
Stay alert, but not overbearingly so. You do not want to intimidate your audience. Relax your body language, but stay alert by maintaining eye contact and nodding your head when appropriate.
Keep an open mind. If you already have decided on an answer or solution, you will be more likely to not actively listen to your audience. Try and listen to all solutions presented before drawing conclusions.
Do not interrupt the speaker. This may confuse the speaker or distract her. Even if you are feeling a strong emotional response to what is being said, wait until the speaker is finished before responding.
Try and picture what is being said. This will help understand and listen more effectively.
Ask questions. Asking questions by repeating what the speaker said is an excellent way to make sure you have fully understood what she has said. Say something like: “I hear you talking about [x]; what do you mean by that?” Or, try using what she has said as a way to establish your own point: “I hear you are concerned about the price of this item; let me tell you how this special, handcrafted item is made.” This will help you audience know that you really have listened to them.
2-2. Employ audience analysis Audience analysis is the process of understanding, or gathering information about, the traits of your consumers.
This is beneficial in many ways; it will allow you to anticipate your customer’s buying habits based on past actions or behavior. To participate in audience analysis, consider the following:
Avoid making assumptions about your customers. Assumptions may lead to sloppy research and unfounded conclusions.
Ask experienced employees or coworkers about the type of customers they encounter. Have them give you detailed descriptions including gender, appearance, and behavior. For example, perhaps an employee at a grocery store might say something like: “I was the cashier to a young woman in her 20s. She was dressed in running shoes, biking shorts, and a tank top. She looked athletic and was purchasing healthy fruits and vegetables.” This scenario will help garner information about your clientele.
Observe your customers first hand. Just by being on the floor and watching your customers, you will observe specific traits and patterns of the people around you.
2-3. Listen to your past customer’s views.
A part of actively listening to your customers, is actively engaging in improvement. Getting your clients to voice their opinions will help build trust for future customers, and allow you to anticipate what those needs may be.
Allow customers (with some monitoring) to post on your business’s social media page.
Encourage customers to write reviews of your business.
Try and improve your business practices and anticipate customer’s needs based on reviews and comments.
3. Applying What You Already Know
3-1. Put yourself in your customer’s shoes.
Listening to your customer’s concerns is one way to help anticipate future needs, but putting yourself in their shoes is entirely different. . Try using your own products or practicing being your own customer to identify what future problems and frustrations may be.
For example, if you are a photograph, practice a shoot on a friend. Your friend will most likely be more honest with you on your actions.
Or, have a fellow photographer perform a shoot on you. Identify how you feel about certain aspects of this practice. Would you change any of the experience for a customer?
3-2. Hire customer-centered employees.
Customers value good customer service. A friendly smile and a cheerful disposition goes a long way to ensure business loyalty. Further, a customer-centered employee is more in tune with the future frustrations that may arise.
3-3. Apply data that you already have.
Anticipating a customer’s reactions does not necessarily require new research or data. Apply what you already know about your customers to make an educated guess on what may happen in the future.
For example, if you know your market is a small town in the Midwestern, United States, you can already predict what their beliefs may be toward a local sports team. You can use this knowledge to anticipate how well an item may sell.
3-4. Be prepared when conversing with customers.
Chances are, if you have been in business for any length of time, you already have a mental list of “frequently asked questions” (FAQS). Before sitting down with a client or customer remember the commons frustrations, problems, and solutions to better prepare yourself for what may be asked.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:06",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Anticipating Future and Recurring Customers\\n1-1. Apply Customer Relationship Management (CRM) tools.\\nThese tools can be purchased as software, or can be put together through a marketing team. CRM tools will help you gather information about your customers involving:\\nTracking marketing success\\nTracking customer relationships\\nTracking customer demographic\\nTracking customers who have responded to promotional material.\\nTracking the success of your marketing activities\\n1-2. Employ “next best action” (NBA) approach.\\nThis active approach can anticipate what your customer may need in the future. By employing this, you may exceed your customer’s expectation and gain a loyal following.\\nFor example, consider if you own a baking company. A woman comes to order a wedding cake for her daughter’s wedding. As a baker, you could suggest an appropriate wedding topper or serving knife to go with her order. By anticipating the woman’s future actions, you may be able to promote additional sales.\\n1-3. Have a clear vision for the future.\\nYou want to have clear answers to important questions that will define the future of your business. These will both financially and customer centered. This will help you anticipate the needs of not only your customers, but also you business and staff. Ask yourself: \\n“What do I want for my customers?”\\n“What sort of customers do I want to attract?”\\n”Why does my business exist?”\\n”How can I present this vision my employees, stakeholders, customers?”\\n1-4. Be accountable.\\nWhile the old adage “the customer is always right\\\" may be a bit cliche, it still holds truth in the business world. To garner repeat and loyal customers, it is important for you to be accountable for your company’s actions.\\nAccountability happens as soon as the customer walks through your door. Greet your customers at the door to show that you have a personal interest in their well-being.\\nBe accountable for any mistakes. Whether it is a damaged product, or a mislabeled price, it is your responsibility to work with the customer. Offer a free replacement or reduced price. Offer the customer to purchase the product at the advertised price. This will show integrity as well as accountability.\\n1-5. Be honest with your customers, employees, and/or employers.\\nHonesty is the best practice. If a customer asks about a mistake in a project, be honest with them. They will be more likely to respond positively.\\nDo not lie to a customer about a product or project in hopes for a better sale. This will not cultivate a good relationship for the future. When you are anticipating future business, think about what would happen if the offended party would find out the truth.\\n1-6. Be humble\\nHumility keeps the mind open.. To grow as an individual and a company, you must maintain an open mind for change and evolution.\\nBe aware of your surroundings -- Pay attention to whom you are speaking. Be aware of their body language and what is appropriate given the situation.\\nBe aware of your limitations -- Do you not over-extend yourself of what you are capable of doing or promising.\\nPut others first -- This could be your clients or employees. This will help you maintain respect and make future difficult decisions easier to manage.\\n2. Actively Listening to Your Customers\\n2-1. Learn to actively listen\\nActive listening is an important skill to learn to be an effective communicator. Effective communication is an important tool to anticipate customer’s needs. To actively listen, try some of these tips:\\nFace your audience and maintain eye contact.\\nStay alert, but not overbearingly so. You do not want to intimidate your audience. Relax your body language, but stay alert by maintaining eye contact and nodding your head when appropriate.\\nKeep an open mind. If you already have decided on an answer or solution, you will be more likely to not actively listen to your audience. Try and listen to all solutions presented before drawing conclusions.\\nDo not interrupt the speaker. This may confuse the speaker or distract her. Even if you are feeling a strong emotional response to what is being said, wait until the speaker is finished before responding.\\nTry and picture what is being said. This will help understand and listen more effectively.\\nAsk questions. Asking questions by repeating what the speaker said is an excellent way to make sure you have fully understood what she has said. Say something like: “I hear you talking about [x]; what do you mean by that?” Or, try using what she has said as a way to establish your own point: “I hear you are concerned about the price of this item; let me tell you how this special, handcrafted item is made.” This will help you audience know that you really have listened to them.\\n2-2. Employ audience analysis Audience analysis is the process of understanding, or gathering information about, the traits of your consumers.\\nThis is beneficial in many ways; it will allow you to anticipate your customer’s buying habits based on past actions or behavior. To participate in audience analysis, consider the following:\\nAvoid making assumptions about your customers. Assumptions may lead to sloppy research and unfounded conclusions.\\nAsk experienced employees or coworkers about the type of customers they encounter. Have them give you detailed descriptions including gender, appearance, and behavior. For example, perhaps an employee at a grocery store might say something like: “I was the cashier to a young woman in her 20s. She was dressed in running shoes, biking shorts, and a tank top. She looked athletic and was purchasing healthy fruits and vegetables.” This scenario will help garner information about your clientele.\\nObserve your customers first hand. Just by being on the floor and watching your customers, you will observe specific traits and patterns of the people around you.\\n2-3. Listen to your past customer’s views.\\nA part of actively listening to your customers, is actively engaging in improvement. Getting your clients to voice their opinions will help build trust for future customers, and allow you to anticipate what those needs may be.\\nAllow customers (with some monitoring) to post on your business’s social media page.\\nEncourage customers to write reviews of your business.\\nTry and improve your business practices and anticipate customer’s needs based on reviews and comments.\\n3. Applying What You Already Know\\n3-1. Put yourself in your customer’s shoes.\\nListening to your customer’s concerns is one way to help anticipate future needs, but putting yourself in their shoes is entirely different. . Try using your own products or practicing being your own customer to identify what future problems and frustrations may be.\\nFor example, if you are a photograph, practice a shoot on a friend. Your friend will most likely be more honest with you on your actions.\\nOr, have a fellow photographer perform a shoot on you. Identify how you feel about certain aspects of this practice. Would you change any of the experience for a customer?\\n3-2. Hire customer-centered employees.\\nCustomers value good customer service. A friendly smile and a cheerful disposition goes a long way to ensure business loyalty. Further, a customer-centered employee is more in tune with the future frustrations that may arise.\\n3-3. Apply data that you already have.\\nAnticipating a customer’s reactions does not necessarily require new research or data. Apply what you already know about your customers to make an educated guess on what may happen in the future. \\nFor example, if you know your market is a small town in the Midwestern, United States, you can already predict what their beliefs may be toward a local sports team. You can use this knowledge to anticipate how well an item may sell.\\n3-4. Be prepared when conversing with customers.\\nChances are, if you have been in business for any length of time, you already have a mental list of “frequently asked questions” (FAQS). Before sitting down with a client or customer remember the commons frustrations, problems, and solutions to better prepare yourself for what may be asked.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Anticipating a customer's needs is an important part of most retail and wholesale businesses, especially in a more challenging retail environment so they choose to come back. Anticipating needs also provides opportunities for personal and professional growth. A business that takes the extra step of anticipating and providing for an obvious corollary need can generate loyal, repeat customers; and even a humble clerk who is alert to the needs of the customer standing in front of them is sure to advance. \\n\\nWhile much of this may involve remembering or noting the desires of the individual customer, it also largely means putting yourself in a customer's place, which takes a little practice. The needs of a truck driver versus a pregnant mother with children may differ, even for the purchase of a cup of coffee. Below are some steps to help you improve your anticipation of a customer's needs.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Anticipating Future and Recurring Customers\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Apply Customer Relationship Management (CRM) tools.\", \"描述\": \"These tools can be purchased as software, or can be put together through a marketing team. CRM tools will help you gather information about your customers involving:\\nTracking marketing success\\nTracking customer relationships\\nTracking customer demographic\\nTracking customers who have responded to promotional material.\\nTracking the success of your marketing activities\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Employ “next best action” (NBA) approach.\", \"描述\": \"This active approach can anticipate what your customer may need in the future. By employing this, you may exceed your customer’s expectation and gain a loyal following.\\nFor example, consider if you own a baking company. A woman comes to order a wedding cake for her daughter’s wedding. As a baker, you could suggest an appropriate wedding topper or serving knife to go with her order. By anticipating the woman’s future actions, you may be able to promote additional sales.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have a clear vision for the future.\", \"描述\": \"You want to have clear answers to important questions that will define the future of your business. These will both financially and customer centered. This will help you anticipate the needs of not only your customers, but also you business and staff. Ask yourself: \\n“What do I want for my customers?”\\n“What sort of customers do I want to attract?”\\n”Why does my business exist?”\\n”How can I present this vision my employees, stakeholders, customers?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be accountable.\", \"描述\": \"While the old adage “the customer is always right\\\" may be a bit cliche, it still holds truth in the business world. To garner repeat and loyal customers, it is important for you to be accountable for your company’s actions.\\nAccountability happens as soon as the customer walks through your door. Greet your customers at the door to show that you have a personal interest in their well-being.\\nBe accountable for any mistakes. Whether it is a damaged product, or a mislabeled price, it is your responsibility to work with the customer. Offer a free replacement or reduced price. Offer the customer to purchase the product at the advertised price. This will show integrity as well as accountability.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be honest with your customers, employees, and/or employers.\", \"描述\": \"Honesty is the best practice. If a customer asks about a mistake in a project, be honest with them. They will be more likely to respond positively.\\nDo not lie to a customer about a product or project in hopes for a better sale. This will not cultivate a good relationship for the future. When you are anticipating future business, think about what would happen if the offended party would find out the truth.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be humble\", \"描述\": \"Humility keeps the mind open.. To grow as an individual and a company, you must maintain an open mind for change and evolution.\\nBe aware of your surroundings -- Pay attention to whom you are speaking. Be aware of their body language and what is appropriate given the situation.\\nBe aware of your limitations -- Do you not over-extend yourself of what you are capable of doing or promising.\\nPut others first -- This could be your clients or employees. This will help you maintain respect and make future difficult decisions easier to manage.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Actively Listening to Your Customers\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn to actively listen\", \"描述\": \"Active listening is an important skill to learn to be an effective communicator. Effective communication is an important tool to anticipate customer’s needs. To actively listen, try some of these tips:\\nFace your audience and maintain eye contact.\\nStay alert, but not overbearingly so. You do not want to intimidate your audience. Relax your body language, but stay alert by maintaining eye contact and nodding your head when appropriate.\\nKeep an open mind. If you already have decided on an answer or solution, you will be more likely to not actively listen to your audience. Try and listen to all solutions presented before drawing conclusions.\\nDo not interrupt the speaker. This may confuse the speaker or distract her. Even if you are feeling a strong emotional response to what is being said, wait until the speaker is finished before responding.\\nTry and picture what is being said. This will help understand and listen more effectively.\\nAsk questions. Asking questions by repeating what the speaker said is an excellent way to make sure you have fully understood what she has said. Say something like: “I hear you talking about [x]; what do you mean by that?” Or, try using what she has said as a way to establish your own point: “I hear you are concerned about the price of this item; let me tell you how this special, handcrafted item is made.” This will help you audience know that you really have listened to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Employ audience analysis Audience analysis is the process of understanding, or gathering information about, the traits of your consumers.\", \"描述\": \"This is beneficial in many ways; it will allow you to anticipate your customer’s buying habits based on past actions or behavior. To participate in audience analysis, consider the following:\\nAvoid making assumptions about your customers. Assumptions may lead to sloppy research and unfounded conclusions.\\nAsk experienced employees or coworkers about the type of customers they encounter. Have them give you detailed descriptions including gender, appearance, and behavior. For example, perhaps an employee at a grocery store might say something like: “I was the cashier to a young woman in her 20s. She was dressed in running shoes, biking shorts, and a tank top. She looked athletic and was purchasing healthy fruits and vegetables.” This scenario will help garner information about your clientele.\\nObserve your customers first hand. Just by being on the floor and watching your customers, you will observe specific traits and patterns of the people around you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Listen to your past customer’s views.\", \"描述\": \"A part of actively listening to your customers, is actively engaging in improvement. Getting your clients to voice their opinions will help build trust for future customers, and allow you to anticipate what those needs may be.\\nAllow customers (with some monitoring) to post on your business’s social media page.\\nEncourage customers to write reviews of your business.\\nTry and improve your business practices and anticipate customer’s needs based on reviews and comments.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Applying What You Already Know\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Put yourself in your customer’s shoes.\", \"描述\": \"Listening to your customer’s concerns is one way to help anticipate future needs, but putting yourself in their shoes is entirely different. . Try using your own products or practicing being your own customer to identify what future problems and frustrations may be.\\nFor example, if you are a photograph, practice a shoot on a friend. Your friend will most likely be more honest with you on your actions.\\nOr, have a fellow photographer perform a shoot on you. Identify how you feel about certain aspects of this practice. Would you change any of the experience for a customer?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Hire customer-centered employees.\", \"描述\": \"Customers value good customer service. A friendly smile and a cheerful disposition goes a long way to ensure business loyalty. Further, a customer-centered employee is more in tune with the future frustrations that may arise.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Apply data that you already have.\", \"描述\": \"Anticipating a customer’s reactions does not necessarily require new research or data. Apply what you already know about your customers to make an educated guess on what may happen in the future. \\nFor example, if you know your market is a small town in the Midwestern, United States, you can already predict what their beliefs may be toward a local sports team. You can use this knowledge to anticipate how well an item may sell.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be prepared when conversing with customers.\", \"描述\": \"Chances are, if you have been in business for any length of time, you already have a mental list of “frequently asked questions” (FAQS). Before sitting down with a client or customer remember the commons frustrations, problems, and solutions to better prepare yourself for what may be asked.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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1,771 | How to Antique Brass | 1. Preparing the Brass
1-1. Make sure the object is brass.
Some other metals look similar to brass, but will respond differently to these aging methods. The wrong treatment could corrode your object, so take your object to an antique shop or other expert if you can't identify it yourself.
Clean brass has a bright, golden brown appearance. The most similar metals in appearance are copper, which is brown or pink-brown, and bronze, which is a much darker brown.
Brass is slightly magnetic, but should only respond noticeably to a powerful magnet. If a small magnet sticks firmly to the surface, you probably have an object made from a different metal, then plated with a thin layer of brass.
1-2. Learn what to do if your object is not brass.
If your object is only brass-plated, try using a gentle treatment such as vinegar or salt water, as harsher materials may corrode through the thin brass layer. If you are trying to age copper, see these linked instructions. To antique bronze, purchase a "bronze ager" and follow the Using Antiquing Solution method.
1-3. If the brass is lacquered, remove it with nail polish remover.
Lacquer is a clear, hard, protective finish that prevents the brass from oxidizing, which is the aging process you're trying to encourage or imitate. Apply the nail polish remover, also known as acetone, to the object to strip off the lacquer.
Wear rubber gloves and work in a ventilated area to avoid inhaling fumes.
Let small objects soak in the acetone.
Use a paintbrush to brush the chemical onto large objects. Be sure to coat every corner of the object.
Methyl alcohol, paint remover, or lacquer thinner will also do the job.
1-4. Pour hot water over the object after treating it with nail polish remover.
Wait a few minutes or until the lacquer is peeling off or dissolving into goo. Wash the object in hot water to remove the lacquer
Check to make sure there is no remaining lacquer. Modern brass objects are often protected with tough lacquer that can take several attempts to remove entirely.
1-5. If there is a thin protective film or no finish at all, wash with gentler materials.
If the object feels greasy or has a thin layer of polish on it, you can probably clean it with a cloth soaked in rubbing alcohol or a 50/50 mix of vinegar and water. For completely untreated brass, a thorough wash with soap and water should be enough to prepare it for antiquing.
Wear gloves even when using these skin-safe cleaning products, since oils from your hand can get on the brass and prevent the antiquing effect from taking place evenly.
1-6. Dry completely before continuing.
Do not begin the antiquing process until the brass is completely dry. A hair dryer, propane torch, or oven can speed up this process.
when applying heat to a brass object that recently had its lacquer removed. If you missed a piece of lacquer, it could catch on fire or release fumes. Dry the brass in a well-ventilated area with no flammable objects nearby.
You can now use any of the methods described below. If you're unsure which to use, read the first step of each one to learn the benefits of each option.
2. Using Salt Water or Vinegar
2-1. Use vinegar or salt water to antique your brass safely and easily.
Any type of household vinegar or even table salt in water can be used to antique brass. This can take longer to take effect than the other methods — several hours for vinegar, and up to several days with salt water— but you do not have to handle any dangerous chemicals and probably already have the necessary ingredients in your kitchen.
Prepare the brass first as described above to ensure the antiquing succeeds.
Wear rubber gloves for any method to prevent getting oil on the brass.
2-2. Apply salt water to make brass slightly darker.
A mix of equal parts table salt and water will oxidize the brass, simply speeding up the natural aging process brass undergoes. Apply it with a small paintbrush over the entire surface and reapply daily until you've achieved the appearance you enjoy.
2-3. Coat with vinegar instead for more pronounced aging.
Apply with a brush or simply dip the piece in any type of vinegar. Allow it to dry, then apply an additional coat if you'd like a darker color.
Mix a spoonful of table salt into the vinegar for a greener patina.
Heating the brass with a hair dryer or oven to around 450ºF (230ºC) will produce more noticeable results, but you'll need oven mitts or thick gardener gloves to handle it at this temperature.
2-4. Use vinegar vapors for a warm brown appearance.
This may not achieve the authentic appearance that ammonia or antiquing solution will, but some people prefer the "gingerbread" appearance that results. In any case, it is certainly safer and less expensive than those methods.
Pour some vinegar into a plastic bucket with an airtight lid.
Place wooden blocks or other objects into the bucket so a stable, flat surface is dry above the level of the vinegar.
Place the brass on top of the objects.
Seal the lid to trap the vinegar fumes and let them alter the brass for several hours or overnight.
2-5. Whichever method you used, wash with warm water and dry.
Once the result you want is achieved, which may take several applications, wash the brass in warm water. Dry it gently with a towel or by applying heat.
Once it is dry, you have the option to preserve its color by coating with a brass lacquer or wax.
3. Using an Antiquing Solution Product
3-1. To age brass rapidly, purchase an antiquing solution.
This is the quickest of all methods, but it does require you to purchase a specialized product. These are sold as antiquing solutions or brass agers. The specific brand will determine the appearance of the antiqued piece, but the process should be similar regardless.
Always follow the instructions for Preparing Your Brass before beginning any antiquing method.
This is not a good method to follow if you're not certain that your piece is solid brass. See Using Vinegar or Salt Water instead.
3-2. Use rubber gloves, safety goggles, and good ventilation.
Antiquing solutions can be made with a variety of chemicals, most of which can damage skin and eyes or release toxic fumes. Protect yourself with basic safety equipment and open the windows before you begin.
Be especially careful if your product contains any of these hazardous chemicals: ammonium hydroxide, glacial acetic acid, nitric acid, or sulfuric acid.
3-3. Dilute the antiquing solution according to the manufacturer's instructions.
Read the label carefully. Some solutions may not require diluting, whereas others require as much as 10 parts water to 1 part antiquing solution. Use room temperature water and mix in a ceramic or plastic container large enough to submerge the entire brass object.
Do not use container made from other materials, as the acids in the solution could corrode them.
Do not fill the container too full. Leave room to fit the brass object without the container overflowing.
3-4. While wearing gloves, agitate the brass object beneath the surface of the antiquing solution.
Hold the brass in the solution and move back and forth to dislodge air bubbles. Make sure the solution covers the entire object, but doesn't reach near the top of your gloves.
Air bubbles that remain on the brass will cause bright spots where the brass was not aged.
Turn the brass object in your gloves so you get even exposure to the solution.
3-5. Watch the color change and pull out when the desired color is reached.
It should take between a few seconds and a couple minutes to begin changing colors, moving from pink to red to brown to black. Pull it out when you see the color you're aiming for.
If you plan to brighten your object with highlighting (see below), let it get slightly darker than the color you want.
Don't worry that you'll ruin your brass. If you pulled it out too early, simply put it back and shake again. If you pulled it out too late, scrub with a scotch-brite pad or lightly with steel wool to remove the color so you can try again.
3-6. Rinse the object to highlight (optional).
Rinse with hot water and clean off the resulting white powder using a sponge or scotch-brite pad. This results in a brighter, accented object compared to the darker, even patina it had immediately after treatment.
If you are trying to create a black or almost black patina, you'll have better results getting the patina to stay if you dip it in two or three stages, rinsing between each one.
3-7. Dry evenly.
Once you are satisfied with the color, immediately dry the whole object. Wet patches will dry darker than the rest of the surface. You may want to use a paper towel or rag, since some color could rub off onto it.
3-8. Treat with lacquer or wax to preserve the current color (optional).
Applying a brass lacquer or other brass finishing treatment will prevent the brass from aging further. This is recommended if the brass is handled frequently or if you want to preserve the current color.
4. Using Ammonia Fumes
4-1. Apply ammonia periodically to produce the most natural aged appearance.
Ammonia is a caustic substance that should be treated with caution, but it does come closer than any other method to creating the green brown appearance of naturally aged brass.
Ammonia will eventually evaporate off the brass, so you'll need to commit to repeating this process every time your brass returns to its old appearance. How long this takes depends on the exact qualities of your object.
This process will not succeed if you do not follow the steps for Preparing Your Brass beforehand.
4-2. Buy ammonia and a sealable bucket from a hardware store.
You'll need "full strength" or "clear" ammonia, not the dilute household ammonia more commonly sold at supermarkets. The hardware store is also a good place to buy a plastic bucket with airtight sealable lid, sometimes called "pickle buckets".
For tiny pieces of brass, you can use a glass bottle with airtight cap instead of a bucket. Tie it with a cord and suspend it over a small amount of ammonia, screwing the cap firmly to hold the cord in place and trap the ammonia fumes.
4-3. Wear rubber gloves, safety goggles, and work only in areas with excellent ventilation.
Ammonia fumes are toxic and should never be inhaled. Work outside if possible or in a room with great air flow.
4-4. Place a wooden block in the bottom of the bucket.
You should create a stable, flat "shelf" large enough for the brass object to sit on. Use a piece of plywood for large objects, stacked on top of several pieces of wood to make it stable.
4-5. Pour ammonia into the bucket.
Keep the ammonia level below the upper surface of the wood. You don't need too much, although more ammonia may hasten the process.
4-6. Place the brass objects on the wooden "shelf".
Make sure they are stable and in no danger of falling into the ammonia. If they do, remove it with gloved hands and wash in warm water. Dry before returning to the wooden bucket.
4-7. Seal the lid and check back periodically.
Depending on the temperature and humidity, freshness of the ammonia, and exact characteristics of your brass, the antiquing could take hours to take effect. Check back every hour or so to see how its progressing, taking care not to breathe the fumes that escape the bucket.
Open the lid slightly for a quick glance, then close it tightly to keep most of the ammonia fumes in.
4-8. Let the brass dry in a ventilated area.
Once the desired color is reached, let it dry naturally in an area with flowing air. Wax it if you want a more polished effect.
The aging effect of ammonia is only temporary, so you probably don't want to lacquer the brass since you would eventually need to remove the lacquer to re-antique the brass.
You can use the same ammonia bath to treat other brass objects, but not indefinitely. Eventually the ammonia's potency will be used up and you will need to replace it.
Tips
If you have the proper lab equipment and chemistry experience, you can make your own antiquing solution. Test out a new solution on a small corner before applying to the entire object, as this list is compiled from a variety of sources.
Whichever method you followed, you can apply a brass wax or lacquer to the object once it is dry to prevent it from aging further.
As a faster technique to that method is to use water to speed up the process. Put your brass into a container and fill it to whatever level you seem fit, and let the water evaporate over time. It may not work the very first time so a repeated process might be necessary. And if you want to clean the brass before all methods of aging see How to Clean Metal by Electroplating for a much safer and easier way. If you want to save the brass from becoming too aged, any clear coat of any material will work whether sprayed, brushed, or stuck on.
Warnings
If you aren't sure whether an object is brass, take it to an antique shop owner or other expert for identification. Bronze, copper, or brass-plated objects could be damaged by the antiquing treatment.
Do not use Clorox or sodium hypochlorite solutions to antique brass. It is more dangerous and more difficult to control than the methods described here.
If a magnet attaches to your "brass" object, it is most likely a different metal beneath a brass plating. This can still be antiqued, but you should be gentle when scrubbing and use small amounts of chemicals during the antiquing. Treating it too roughly could eat through the plating and reveal the other metal underneath.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:06",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing the Brass\\n1-1. Make sure the object is brass.\\nSome other metals look similar to brass, but will respond differently to these aging methods. The wrong treatment could corrode your object, so take your object to an antique shop or other expert if you can't identify it yourself.\\nClean brass has a bright, golden brown appearance. The most similar metals in appearance are copper, which is brown or pink-brown, and bronze, which is a much darker brown.\\nBrass is slightly magnetic, but should only respond noticeably to a powerful magnet. If a small magnet sticks firmly to the surface, you probably have an object made from a different metal, then plated with a thin layer of brass.\\n1-2. Learn what to do if your object is not brass.\\nIf your object is only brass-plated, try using a gentle treatment such as vinegar or salt water, as harsher materials may corrode through the thin brass layer. If you are trying to age copper, see these linked instructions. To antique bronze, purchase a \\\"bronze ager\\\" and follow the Using Antiquing Solution method.\\n1-3. If the brass is lacquered, remove it with nail polish remover.\\nLacquer is a clear, hard, protective finish that prevents the brass from oxidizing, which is the aging process you're trying to encourage or imitate. Apply the nail polish remover, also known as acetone, to the object to strip off the lacquer.\\nWear rubber gloves and work in a ventilated area to avoid inhaling fumes.\\nLet small objects soak in the acetone.\\nUse a paintbrush to brush the chemical onto large objects. Be sure to coat every corner of the object.\\nMethyl alcohol, paint remover, or lacquer thinner will also do the job.\\n1-4. Pour hot water over the object after treating it with nail polish remover.\\nWait a few minutes or until the lacquer is peeling off or dissolving into goo. Wash the object in hot water to remove the lacquer\\nCheck to make sure there is no remaining lacquer. Modern brass objects are often protected with tough lacquer that can take several attempts to remove entirely.\\n1-5. If there is a thin protective film or no finish at all, wash with gentler materials.\\nIf the object feels greasy or has a thin layer of polish on it, you can probably clean it with a cloth soaked in rubbing alcohol or a 50/50 mix of vinegar and water. For completely untreated brass, a thorough wash with soap and water should be enough to prepare it for antiquing.\\nWear gloves even when using these skin-safe cleaning products, since oils from your hand can get on the brass and prevent the antiquing effect from taking place evenly.\\n1-6. Dry completely before continuing.\\nDo not begin the antiquing process until the brass is completely dry. A hair dryer, propane torch, or oven can speed up this process.\\n\\n when applying heat to a brass object that recently had its lacquer removed. If you missed a piece of lacquer, it could catch on fire or release fumes. Dry the brass in a well-ventilated area with no flammable objects nearby.\\nYou can now use any of the methods described below. If you're unsure which to use, read the first step of each one to learn the benefits of each option.\\n2. Using Salt Water or Vinegar\\n2-1. Use vinegar or salt water to antique your brass safely and easily.\\nAny type of household vinegar or even table salt in water can be used to antique brass. This can take longer to take effect than the other methods — several hours for vinegar, and up to several days with salt water— but you do not have to handle any dangerous chemicals and probably already have the necessary ingredients in your kitchen.\\nPrepare the brass first as described above to ensure the antiquing succeeds.\\nWear rubber gloves for any method to prevent getting oil on the brass.\\n2-2. Apply salt water to make brass slightly darker.\\nA mix of equal parts table salt and water will oxidize the brass, simply speeding up the natural aging process brass undergoes. Apply it with a small paintbrush over the entire surface and reapply daily until you've achieved the appearance you enjoy.\\n2-3. Coat with vinegar instead for more pronounced aging.\\nApply with a brush or simply dip the piece in any type of vinegar. Allow it to dry, then apply an additional coat if you'd like a darker color.\\nMix a spoonful of table salt into the vinegar for a greener patina.\\nHeating the brass with a hair dryer or oven to around 450ºF (230ºC) will produce more noticeable results, but you'll need oven mitts or thick gardener gloves to handle it at this temperature.\\n2-4. Use vinegar vapors for a warm brown appearance.\\nThis may not achieve the authentic appearance that ammonia or antiquing solution will, but some people prefer the \\\"gingerbread\\\" appearance that results. In any case, it is certainly safer and less expensive than those methods.\\nPour some vinegar into a plastic bucket with an airtight lid.\\nPlace wooden blocks or other objects into the bucket so a stable, flat surface is dry above the level of the vinegar.\\nPlace the brass on top of the objects.\\nSeal the lid to trap the vinegar fumes and let them alter the brass for several hours or overnight.\\n2-5. Whichever method you used, wash with warm water and dry.\\nOnce the result you want is achieved, which may take several applications, wash the brass in warm water. Dry it gently with a towel or by applying heat.\\nOnce it is dry, you have the option to preserve its color by coating with a brass lacquer or wax.\\n3. Using an Antiquing Solution Product\\n3-1. To age brass rapidly, purchase an antiquing solution.\\nThis is the quickest of all methods, but it does require you to purchase a specialized product. These are sold as antiquing solutions or brass agers. The specific brand will determine the appearance of the antiqued piece, but the process should be similar regardless.\\nAlways follow the instructions for Preparing Your Brass before beginning any antiquing method.\\nThis is not a good method to follow if you're not certain that your piece is solid brass. See Using Vinegar or Salt Water instead.\\n3-2. Use rubber gloves, safety goggles, and good ventilation.\\nAntiquing solutions can be made with a variety of chemicals, most of which can damage skin and eyes or release toxic fumes. Protect yourself with basic safety equipment and open the windows before you begin.\\nBe especially careful if your product contains any of these hazardous chemicals: ammonium hydroxide, glacial acetic acid, nitric acid, or sulfuric acid.\\n3-3. Dilute the antiquing solution according to the manufacturer's instructions.\\nRead the label carefully. Some solutions may not require diluting, whereas others require as much as 10 parts water to 1 part antiquing solution. Use room temperature water and mix in a ceramic or plastic container large enough to submerge the entire brass object.\\nDo not use container made from other materials, as the acids in the solution could corrode them.\\nDo not fill the container too full. Leave room to fit the brass object without the container overflowing.\\n3-4. While wearing gloves, agitate the brass object beneath the surface of the antiquing solution.\\nHold the brass in the solution and move back and forth to dislodge air bubbles. Make sure the solution covers the entire object, but doesn't reach near the top of your gloves.\\nAir bubbles that remain on the brass will cause bright spots where the brass was not aged.\\nTurn the brass object in your gloves so you get even exposure to the solution.\\n3-5. Watch the color change and pull out when the desired color is reached.\\nIt should take between a few seconds and a couple minutes to begin changing colors, moving from pink to red to brown to black. Pull it out when you see the color you're aiming for.\\nIf you plan to brighten your object with highlighting (see below), let it get slightly darker than the color you want.\\nDon't worry that you'll ruin your brass. If you pulled it out too early, simply put it back and shake again. If you pulled it out too late, scrub with a scotch-brite pad or lightly with steel wool to remove the color so you can try again.\\n3-6. Rinse the object to highlight (optional).\\nRinse with hot water and clean off the resulting white powder using a sponge or scotch-brite pad. This results in a brighter, accented object compared to the darker, even patina it had immediately after treatment.\\nIf you are trying to create a black or almost black patina, you'll have better results getting the patina to stay if you dip it in two or three stages, rinsing between each one.\\n3-7. Dry evenly.\\nOnce you are satisfied with the color, immediately dry the whole object. Wet patches will dry darker than the rest of the surface. You may want to use a paper towel or rag, since some color could rub off onto it.\\n3-8. Treat with lacquer or wax to preserve the current color (optional).\\nApplying a brass lacquer or other brass finishing treatment will prevent the brass from aging further. This is recommended if the brass is handled frequently or if you want to preserve the current color.\\n4. Using Ammonia Fumes\\n4-1. Apply ammonia periodically to produce the most natural aged appearance.\\nAmmonia is a caustic substance that should be treated with caution, but it does come closer than any other method to creating the green brown appearance of naturally aged brass.\\nAmmonia will eventually evaporate off the brass, so you'll need to commit to repeating this process every time your brass returns to its old appearance. How long this takes depends on the exact qualities of your object.\\nThis process will not succeed if you do not follow the steps for Preparing Your Brass beforehand.\\n4-2. Buy ammonia and a sealable bucket from a hardware store.\\nYou'll need \\\"full strength\\\" or \\\"clear\\\" ammonia, not the dilute household ammonia more commonly sold at supermarkets. The hardware store is also a good place to buy a plastic bucket with airtight sealable lid, sometimes called \\\"pickle buckets\\\". \\nFor tiny pieces of brass, you can use a glass bottle with airtight cap instead of a bucket. Tie it with a cord and suspend it over a small amount of ammonia, screwing the cap firmly to hold the cord in place and trap the ammonia fumes.\\n4-3. Wear rubber gloves, safety goggles, and work only in areas with excellent ventilation.\\nAmmonia fumes are toxic and should never be inhaled. Work outside if possible or in a room with great air flow.\\n4-4. Place a wooden block in the bottom of the bucket.\\nYou should create a stable, flat \\\"shelf\\\" large enough for the brass object to sit on. Use a piece of plywood for large objects, stacked on top of several pieces of wood to make it stable.\\n4-5. Pour ammonia into the bucket.\\nKeep the ammonia level below the upper surface of the wood. You don't need too much, although more ammonia may hasten the process.\\n4-6. Place the brass objects on the wooden \\\"shelf\\\".\\nMake sure they are stable and in no danger of falling into the ammonia. If they do, remove it with gloved hands and wash in warm water. Dry before returning to the wooden bucket.\\n4-7. Seal the lid and check back periodically.\\nDepending on the temperature and humidity, freshness of the ammonia, and exact characteristics of your brass, the antiquing could take hours to take effect. Check back every hour or so to see how its progressing, taking care not to breathe the fumes that escape the bucket.\\nOpen the lid slightly for a quick glance, then close it tightly to keep most of the ammonia fumes in.\\n4-8. Let the brass dry in a ventilated area.\\nOnce the desired color is reached, let it dry naturally in an area with flowing air. Wax it if you want a more polished effect.\\nThe aging effect of ammonia is only temporary, so you probably don't want to lacquer the brass since you would eventually need to remove the lacquer to re-antique the brass.\\nYou can use the same ammonia bath to treat other brass objects, but not indefinitely. Eventually the ammonia's potency will be used up and you will need to replace it.\\nTips\\nIf you have the proper lab equipment and chemistry experience, you can make your own antiquing solution. Test out a new solution on a small corner before applying to the entire object, as this list is compiled from a variety of sources.\\nWhichever method you followed, you can apply a brass wax or lacquer to the object once it is dry to prevent it from aging further.\\nAs a faster technique to that method is to use water to speed up the process. Put your brass into a container and fill it to whatever level you seem fit, and let the water evaporate over time. It may not work the very first time so a repeated process might be necessary. And if you want to clean the brass before all methods of aging see How to Clean Metal by Electroplating for a much safer and easier way. If you want to save the brass from becoming too aged, any clear coat of any material will work whether sprayed, brushed, or stuck on.\\nWarnings\\nIf you aren't sure whether an object is brass, take it to an antique shop owner or other expert for identification. Bronze, copper, or brass-plated objects could be damaged by the antiquing treatment.\\nDo not use Clorox or sodium hypochlorite solutions to antique brass. It is more dangerous and more difficult to control than the methods described here.\\nIf a magnet attaches to your \\\"brass\\\" object, it is most likely a different metal beneath a brass plating. This can still be antiqued, but you should be gentle when scrubbing and use small amounts of chemicals during the antiquing. Treating it too roughly could eat through the plating and reveal the other metal underneath.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"New brass is a shiny golden color, but over time it darkens and takes on a green, brown, or reddish patina. If you prefer the appearance of older brass, there are several ways to hasten or imitate aging. Read on to discover which method to select for your purposes, and how to prepare your brass beforehand to ensure the antiquing process works.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing the Brass\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make sure the object is brass.\", \"描述\": \"Some other metals look similar to brass, but will respond differently to these aging methods. The wrong treatment could corrode your object, so take your object to an antique shop or other expert if you can't identify it yourself.\\nClean brass has a bright, golden brown appearance. The most similar metals in appearance are copper, which is brown or pink-brown, and bronze, which is a much darker brown.\\nBrass is slightly magnetic, but should only respond noticeably to a powerful magnet. If a small magnet sticks firmly to the surface, you probably have an object made from a different metal, then plated with a thin layer of brass.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn what to do if your object is not brass.\", \"描述\": \"If your object is only brass-plated, try using a gentle treatment such as vinegar or salt water, as harsher materials may corrode through the thin brass layer. If you are trying to age copper, see these linked instructions. To antique bronze, purchase a \\\"bronze ager\\\" and follow the Using Antiquing Solution method.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"If the brass is lacquered, remove it with nail polish remover.\", \"描述\": \"Lacquer is a clear, hard, protective finish that prevents the brass from oxidizing, which is the aging process you're trying to encourage or imitate. Apply the nail polish remover, also known as acetone, to the object to strip off the lacquer.\\nWear rubber gloves and work in a ventilated area to avoid inhaling fumes.\\nLet small objects soak in the acetone.\\nUse a paintbrush to brush the chemical onto large objects. Be sure to coat every corner of the object.\\nMethyl alcohol, paint remover, or lacquer thinner will also do the job.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pour hot water over the object after treating it with nail polish remover.\", \"描述\": \"Wait a few minutes or until the lacquer is peeling off or dissolving into goo. Wash the object in hot water to remove the lacquer\\nCheck to make sure there is no remaining lacquer. Modern brass objects are often protected with tough lacquer that can take several attempts to remove entirely.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"If there is a thin protective film or no finish at all, wash with gentler materials.\", \"描述\": \"If the object feels greasy or has a thin layer of polish on it, you can probably clean it with a cloth soaked in rubbing alcohol or a 50/50 mix of vinegar and water. For completely untreated brass, a thorough wash with soap and water should be enough to prepare it for antiquing.\\nWear gloves even when using these skin-safe cleaning products, since oils from your hand can get on the brass and prevent the antiquing effect from taking place evenly.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Dry completely before continuing.\", \"描述\": \"Do not begin the antiquing process until the brass is completely dry. A hair dryer, propane torch, or oven can speed up this process.\\n\\n when applying heat to a brass object that recently had its lacquer removed. If you missed a piece of lacquer, it could catch on fire or release fumes. Dry the brass in a well-ventilated area with no flammable objects nearby.\\nYou can now use any of the methods described below. If you're unsure which to use, read the first step of each one to learn the benefits of each option.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Using Salt Water or Vinegar\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use vinegar or salt water to antique your brass safely and easily.\", \"描述\": \"Any type of household vinegar or even table salt in water can be used to antique brass. This can take longer to take effect than the other methods — several hours for vinegar, and up to several days with salt water— but you do not have to handle any dangerous chemicals and probably already have the necessary ingredients in your kitchen.\\nPrepare the brass first as described above to ensure the antiquing succeeds.\\nWear rubber gloves for any method to prevent getting oil on the brass.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Apply salt water to make brass slightly darker.\", \"描述\": \"A mix of equal parts table salt and water will oxidize the brass, simply speeding up the natural aging process brass undergoes. Apply it with a small paintbrush over the entire surface and reapply daily until you've achieved the appearance you enjoy.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Coat with vinegar instead for more pronounced aging.\", \"描述\": \"Apply with a brush or simply dip the piece in any type of vinegar. Allow it to dry, then apply an additional coat if you'd like a darker color.\\nMix a spoonful of table salt into the vinegar for a greener patina.\\nHeating the brass with a hair dryer or oven to around 450ºF (230ºC) will produce more noticeable results, but you'll need oven mitts or thick gardener gloves to handle it at this temperature.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use vinegar vapors for a warm brown appearance.\", \"描述\": \"This may not achieve the authentic appearance that ammonia or antiquing solution will, but some people prefer the \\\"gingerbread\\\" appearance that results. In any case, it is certainly safer and less expensive than those methods.\\nPour some vinegar into a plastic bucket with an airtight lid.\\nPlace wooden blocks or other objects into the bucket so a stable, flat surface is dry above the level of the vinegar.\\nPlace the brass on top of the objects.\\nSeal the lid to trap the vinegar fumes and let them alter the brass for several hours or overnight.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Whichever method you used, wash with warm water and dry.\", \"描述\": \"Once the result you want is achieved, which may take several applications, wash the brass in warm water. Dry it gently with a towel or by applying heat.\\nOnce it is dry, you have the option to preserve its color by coating with a brass lacquer or wax.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Using an Antiquing Solution Product\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"To age brass rapidly, purchase an antiquing solution.\", \"描述\": \"This is the quickest of all methods, but it does require you to purchase a specialized product. These are sold as antiquing solutions or brass agers. The specific brand will determine the appearance of the antiqued piece, but the process should be similar regardless.\\nAlways follow the instructions for Preparing Your Brass before beginning any antiquing method.\\nThis is not a good method to follow if you're not certain that your piece is solid brass. See Using Vinegar or Salt Water instead.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use rubber gloves, safety goggles, and good ventilation.\", \"描述\": \"Antiquing solutions can be made with a variety of chemicals, most of which can damage skin and eyes or release toxic fumes. Protect yourself with basic safety equipment and open the windows before you begin.\\nBe especially careful if your product contains any of these hazardous chemicals: ammonium hydroxide, glacial acetic acid, nitric acid, or sulfuric acid.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dilute the antiquing solution according to the manufacturer's instructions.\", \"描述\": \"Read the label carefully. Some solutions may not require diluting, whereas others require as much as 10 parts water to 1 part antiquing solution. Use room temperature water and mix in a ceramic or plastic container large enough to submerge the entire brass object.\\nDo not use container made from other materials, as the acids in the solution could corrode them.\\nDo not fill the container too full. Leave room to fit the brass object without the container overflowing.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"While wearing gloves, agitate the brass object beneath the surface of the antiquing solution.\", \"描述\": \"Hold the brass in the solution and move back and forth to dislodge air bubbles. Make sure the solution covers the entire object, but doesn't reach near the top of your gloves.\\nAir bubbles that remain on the brass will cause bright spots where the brass was not aged.\\nTurn the brass object in your gloves so you get even exposure to the solution.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Watch the color change and pull out when the desired color is reached.\", \"描述\": \"It should take between a few seconds and a couple minutes to begin changing colors, moving from pink to red to brown to black. Pull it out when you see the color you're aiming for.\\nIf you plan to brighten your object with highlighting (see below), let it get slightly darker than the color you want.\\nDon't worry that you'll ruin your brass. If you pulled it out too early, simply put it back and shake again. If you pulled it out too late, scrub with a scotch-brite pad or lightly with steel wool to remove the color so you can try again.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Rinse the object to highlight (optional).\", \"描述\": \"Rinse with hot water and clean off the resulting white powder using a sponge or scotch-brite pad. This results in a brighter, accented object compared to the darker, even patina it had immediately after treatment.\\nIf you are trying to create a black or almost black patina, you'll have better results getting the patina to stay if you dip it in two or three stages, rinsing between each one.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Dry evenly.\", \"描述\": \"Once you are satisfied with the color, immediately dry the whole object. Wet patches will dry darker than the rest of the surface. You may want to use a paper towel or rag, since some color could rub off onto it.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Treat with lacquer or wax to preserve the current color (optional).\", \"描述\": \"Applying a brass lacquer or other brass finishing treatment will prevent the brass from aging further. This is recommended if the brass is handled frequently or if you want to preserve the current color.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Using Ammonia Fumes\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Apply ammonia periodically to produce the most natural aged appearance.\", \"描述\": \"Ammonia is a caustic substance that should be treated with caution, but it does come closer than any other method to creating the green brown appearance of naturally aged brass.\\nAmmonia will eventually evaporate off the brass, so you'll need to commit to repeating this process every time your brass returns to its old appearance. How long this takes depends on the exact qualities of your object.\\nThis process will not succeed if you do not follow the steps for Preparing Your Brass beforehand.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Buy ammonia and a sealable bucket from a hardware store.\", \"描述\": \"You'll need \\\"full strength\\\" or \\\"clear\\\" ammonia, not the dilute household ammonia more commonly sold at supermarkets. The hardware store is also a good place to buy a plastic bucket with airtight sealable lid, sometimes called \\\"pickle buckets\\\". \\nFor tiny pieces of brass, you can use a glass bottle with airtight cap instead of a bucket. Tie it with a cord and suspend it over a small amount of ammonia, screwing the cap firmly to hold the cord in place and trap the ammonia fumes.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Wear rubber gloves, safety goggles, and work only in areas with excellent ventilation.\", \"描述\": \"Ammonia fumes are toxic and should never be inhaled. Work outside if possible or in a room with great air flow.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Place a wooden block in the bottom of the bucket.\", \"描述\": \"You should create a stable, flat \\\"shelf\\\" large enough for the brass object to sit on. Use a piece of plywood for large objects, stacked on top of several pieces of wood to make it stable.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Pour ammonia into the bucket.\", \"描述\": \"Keep the ammonia level below the upper surface of the wood. You don't need too much, although more ammonia may hasten the process.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Place the brass objects on the wooden \\\"shelf\\\".\", \"描述\": \"Make sure they are stable and in no danger of falling into the ammonia. If they do, remove it with gloved hands and wash in warm water. Dry before returning to the wooden bucket.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Seal the lid and check back periodically.\", \"描述\": \"Depending on the temperature and humidity, freshness of the ammonia, and exact characteristics of your brass, the antiquing could take hours to take effect. Check back every hour or so to see how its progressing, taking care not to breathe the fumes that escape the bucket.\\nOpen the lid slightly for a quick glance, then close it tightly to keep most of the ammonia fumes in.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Let the brass dry in a ventilated area.\", \"描述\": \"Once the desired color is reached, let it dry naturally in an area with flowing air. Wax it if you want a more polished effect.\\nThe aging effect of ammonia is only temporary, so you probably don't want to lacquer the brass since you would eventually need to remove the lacquer to re-antique the brass.\\nYou can use the same ammonia bath to treat other brass objects, but not indefinitely. Eventually the ammonia's potency will be used up and you will need to replace it.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you have the proper lab equipment and chemistry experience, you can make your own antiquing solution. Test out a new solution on a small corner before applying to the entire object, as this list is compiled from a variety of sources.\\n\", \"Whichever method you followed, you can apply a brass wax or lacquer to the object once it is dry to prevent it from aging further.\\n\", \"As a faster technique to that method is to use water to speed up the process. Put your brass into a container and fill it to whatever level you seem fit, and let the water evaporate over time. It may not work the very first time so a repeated process might be necessary. And if you want to clean the brass before all methods of aging see How to Clean Metal by Electroplating for a much safer and easier way. If you want to save the brass from becoming too aged, any clear coat of any material will work whether sprayed, brushed, or stuck on.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If you aren't sure whether an object is brass, take it to an antique shop owner or other expert for identification. Bronze, copper, or brass-plated objects could be damaged by the antiquing treatment.\\n\", \"Do not use Clorox or sodium hypochlorite solutions to antique brass. It is more dangerous and more difficult to control than the methods described here.\\n\", \"If a magnet attaches to your \\\"brass\\\" object, it is most likely a different metal beneath a brass plating. This can still be antiqued, but you should be gentle when scrubbing and use small amounts of chemicals during the antiquing. Treating it too roughly could eat through the plating and reveal the other metal underneath.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,772 | How to Antique Stainless Steel | 1. Heated Staining
1-1. Wear the appropriate safety gear.
At minimum, you should wear safety goggles and heat-resistant, fire-resistant gloves.
Also note that you will need to handle the stainless steel object with another device, like tongs or a vice. Everything you use should be both fire-resistant and heat-resistant to prevent accidental burns.
1-2. Fill a container with warm, moist coffee grounds.
You'll need to prepare enough coffee grounds to cover all sides of the stainless steel object you wish to antique.
If you've recently made a pot of coffee, you can use the spent grounds from that. Otherwise, pour enough warm to hot water over a fresh batch of grounds and give the grounds a few minutes to absorb the moisture
For small, narrow objects like screws, you can fill a small cup with your prepared grounds. For larger objects, coat the bottom of a shallow tray with the grounds, instead.
1-3. Heat the steel using a lighter.
Hold the metal object with tongs or a vice, then pass the flame of a lighter over the entire length of the object, heating it thoroughly.
Continue rotating and passing the flame over the stainless steel object until the metal begins to darken in color.
For larger objects or a more controlled flame, consider using a propane tank with a lighter attachment instead of a handheld lighter.
The stainless steel will reach temperatures just beneath 500 degrees Fahrenheit (260 degrees Celsius), so you need to work very carefully to prevent accidental burns.
1-4. Bury the steel in the coffee grounds.
As soon as the steel object darkens, quickly dip the heated portion into the prepared coffee grounds. Hold it in the grounds for 15 to 30 seconds.
The water in the coffee grounds should quickly cool off the metal. Theoretically, the steel should be safe to touch once you remove it from the grounds, but you should still proceed with caution.
In addition to cooling off the metal, the coffee should dye the stainless steel, giving it the appearance of antiqued metal.
1-5. Repeat as needed.
If you want to dye the steel even darker, reheat it and submerge it into the coffee grounds again.
You should be able repeat the process several times without damaging the metal.
If you only want to dye one side or area darker, focus the heat on that area and only apply the coffee grounds to that spot.
1-6. Polish as desired.
When you're satisfied with the results, you can quickly polish the steel object by vigorously rubbing it with a soft cloth.
Wait until the object is cool enough to touch before polishing it.
Polishing the piece should buff away coffee granules and some of the dark dye. It should also make the steel a little shinier.
After you dye and polish the piece to your liking, the project is complete. The results should last indefinitely.
2. Chemical Corrosion
2-1. Scuff the steel.
Use sandpaper or steel wool to scuff the sides of the stainless steel object.
Scuffing the steel will create a more age-worn appearance. It also removes some of the protective coating, allowing more of the vinegar to penetrate and work its way through the metal.
Steel wool pads will usually create deeper scratches, so if you want to create more subtle wear, use sandpaper instead. Choose a medium to heavy grit sandpaper for best results.
2-2. Place the piece in a larger container.
Place the prepared steel item in a plastic bucket or in another similar container made of non-reactive material.
All sides you wish to antique should be exposed. If one side is covered or hidden against the side of the container, the vinegar may not work as effectively there.
2-3. Cover with vinegar.
Pour vinegar into the container, covering all sides of the stainless steel piece.
You may want to wear safety goggles and safety gloves when handling vinegar. Even though vinegar is a mild acid, it could sting if it splashes into your eyes. Vinegar can also be a mild irritant if you have sensitive skin or if your skin is submerged for prolonged periods.
Every side touching the vinegar will be affected. Any type of vinegar should work for this project, but white distilled vinegar is recommended since it is fairly cheap and easy to come by.
If the steel piece starts to float, hold it down by placing stones or dry beans on top of it. Make sure that the vinegar still has access to the piece, however.
2-4. Allow it to sit overnight.
Keep the steel piece submerged in the vinegar for at least eight hours.
The piece should look subtly aged and worn as soon as you remove it.
When you remove the piece, rinse the vinegar away with clean water and dry it with clean towels.
2-5. Repeat as desired.
If the antiqued appearance isn't as notable as you would prefer, soak the stainless steel for a longer period of time.
Stainless steel comes in different grades, so this may not be effective on all steel pieces. High-grade stainless steel is more likely to resist corrosion than low-grade stainless steel.
If the vinegar doesn't produce results, you could try using a more corrosive chemical. Toilet bowl cleaner generally works well. Bleach, denture cleaner, and silver dip may also yield results.
When using harsher chemicals, always wear safety goggles and rubber gloves.
Never mix chemicals, either, since doing so can produce dangerous fumes. Thoroughly rinse and dry the piece before attempting to use a different chemical.
Once you are satisfied with the appearance, the project is complete. These results should be permanent.
3. Acrylic Painting
3-1. Prepare your supplies.
You'll need metallic acrylic craft paint, an art paintbrush, and a wet sponge.
Look for a deep gray metallic paint. One labeled as "gunmetal gray" will usually be a good choice.
Depending on the look you want to create, you may also want to use a copper metallic paint. The copper paint is only optional, though.
It's also a good idea to have a supply of water ready since you may need to rinse the sponge periodically throughout the process. Consider standing next to a sink. Alternatively, keep a bucket of clean water nearby during the process.
To prevent things from getting too messy, cover your work area with plastic sheets or newspaper. You may also want to wear an artist's smock or apron to protect your clothes.
3-2. Brush on the first coat.
Dip the paintbrush in gunmetal gray paint, then apply the paint to the sides of the stainless steel object using even strokes.
Pour the paint into a disposable paint dish for easy access.
Apply the paint along the grain of the steel. Cover the entire surface you wish to antique, but do not allow the paint to dry.
3-3. Sponge away some of the paint.
Dab at the applied paint using the wet sponge. Work your way around the surface, essentially "messing up" the perfect coat of paint you just applied.
Using a wet sponge instead of a dry sponge should prevent the pattern of the sponge from imprinting itself into the paint.
You need to remove some of the paint, but you shouldn't wipe all of it away. Much of the paint should still remain after you complete this step.
As you dab away at the paint, you should notice some spots where the paint smears and others where the paint develops a splattered appearance. Both effects are what you need to retain.
3-4. Alternate as needed.
Work back and forth between the previous two steps. Apply paint with your paintbrush, then dab some of the paint away with your wet sponge.
As the sponge gets loaded with paint, you may need to rinse it with clean water. After rinsing the sponge, gently wring it out before returning to the steel piece. You should work with a damp sponge, not one that is dripping wet.
Continue alternating between painting and sponging until you create a naturally worn appearance.
3-5. Let dry.
Set the stainless steel piece aside and allow it to dry completely before handling it further.
Examine the dry piece. Most of the natural metal should show through beneath the coat of paint. Determine whether or not you are satisfied with these results.
3-6. Carefully consider additional coats of paint.
If desired, you could try adding a coat of copper metallic paint on top of the gunmetal paint. Apply this second coat with the same painting and sponging technique used for the first.
This second coat is only optional. Understand that it will cover more of the natural metal, and if you don't like the results, you will need to clean off the paint and start from the beginning. It will be impossible to salvage the first layer you applied.
Avoid adding any coat beyond the second. Adding too many layers may make it more obvious that the piece has been painted instead of naturally aged.
Once you achieve the desired appearance, the project is complete. Note that the antique effect will last for a long time unless the paint is washed away.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:06",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Heated Staining\\n1-1. Wear the appropriate safety gear.\\nAt minimum, you should wear safety goggles and heat-resistant, fire-resistant gloves.\\nAlso note that you will need to handle the stainless steel object with another device, like tongs or a vice. Everything you use should be both fire-resistant and heat-resistant to prevent accidental burns.\\n1-2. Fill a container with warm, moist coffee grounds.\\nYou'll need to prepare enough coffee grounds to cover all sides of the stainless steel object you wish to antique.\\nIf you've recently made a pot of coffee, you can use the spent grounds from that. Otherwise, pour enough warm to hot water over a fresh batch of grounds and give the grounds a few minutes to absorb the moisture\\nFor small, narrow objects like screws, you can fill a small cup with your prepared grounds. For larger objects, coat the bottom of a shallow tray with the grounds, instead.\\n1-3. Heat the steel using a lighter.\\nHold the metal object with tongs or a vice, then pass the flame of a lighter over the entire length of the object, heating it thoroughly.\\nContinue rotating and passing the flame over the stainless steel object until the metal begins to darken in color.\\nFor larger objects or a more controlled flame, consider using a propane tank with a lighter attachment instead of a handheld lighter.\\nThe stainless steel will reach temperatures just beneath 500 degrees Fahrenheit (260 degrees Celsius), so you need to work very carefully to prevent accidental burns.\\n1-4. Bury the steel in the coffee grounds.\\nAs soon as the steel object darkens, quickly dip the heated portion into the prepared coffee grounds. Hold it in the grounds for 15 to 30 seconds.\\nThe water in the coffee grounds should quickly cool off the metal. Theoretically, the steel should be safe to touch once you remove it from the grounds, but you should still proceed with caution.\\nIn addition to cooling off the metal, the coffee should dye the stainless steel, giving it the appearance of antiqued metal.\\n1-5. Repeat as needed.\\nIf you want to dye the steel even darker, reheat it and submerge it into the coffee grounds again.\\nYou should be able repeat the process several times without damaging the metal.\\nIf you only want to dye one side or area darker, focus the heat on that area and only apply the coffee grounds to that spot.\\n1-6. Polish as desired.\\nWhen you're satisfied with the results, you can quickly polish the steel object by vigorously rubbing it with a soft cloth.\\nWait until the object is cool enough to touch before polishing it.\\nPolishing the piece should buff away coffee granules and some of the dark dye. It should also make the steel a little shinier.\\nAfter you dye and polish the piece to your liking, the project is complete. The results should last indefinitely.\\n2. Chemical Corrosion\\n2-1. Scuff the steel.\\nUse sandpaper or steel wool to scuff the sides of the stainless steel object.\\nScuffing the steel will create a more age-worn appearance. It also removes some of the protective coating, allowing more of the vinegar to penetrate and work its way through the metal.\\nSteel wool pads will usually create deeper scratches, so if you want to create more subtle wear, use sandpaper instead. Choose a medium to heavy grit sandpaper for best results.\\n2-2. Place the piece in a larger container.\\nPlace the prepared steel item in a plastic bucket or in another similar container made of non-reactive material.\\nAll sides you wish to antique should be exposed. If one side is covered or hidden against the side of the container, the vinegar may not work as effectively there.\\n2-3. Cover with vinegar.\\nPour vinegar into the container, covering all sides of the stainless steel piece.\\nYou may want to wear safety goggles and safety gloves when handling vinegar. Even though vinegar is a mild acid, it could sting if it splashes into your eyes. Vinegar can also be a mild irritant if you have sensitive skin or if your skin is submerged for prolonged periods.\\nEvery side touching the vinegar will be affected. Any type of vinegar should work for this project, but white distilled vinegar is recommended since it is fairly cheap and easy to come by.\\nIf the steel piece starts to float, hold it down by placing stones or dry beans on top of it. Make sure that the vinegar still has access to the piece, however.\\n2-4. Allow it to sit overnight.\\nKeep the steel piece submerged in the vinegar for at least eight hours.\\nThe piece should look subtly aged and worn as soon as you remove it.\\nWhen you remove the piece, rinse the vinegar away with clean water and dry it with clean towels.\\n2-5. Repeat as desired.\\nIf the antiqued appearance isn't as notable as you would prefer, soak the stainless steel for a longer period of time.\\nStainless steel comes in different grades, so this may not be effective on all steel pieces. High-grade stainless steel is more likely to resist corrosion than low-grade stainless steel.\\nIf the vinegar doesn't produce results, you could try using a more corrosive chemical. Toilet bowl cleaner generally works well. Bleach, denture cleaner, and silver dip may also yield results.\\nWhen using harsher chemicals, always wear safety goggles and rubber gloves.\\nNever mix chemicals, either, since doing so can produce dangerous fumes. Thoroughly rinse and dry the piece before attempting to use a different chemical.\\n\\nOnce you are satisfied with the appearance, the project is complete. These results should be permanent.\\n3. Acrylic Painting\\n3-1. Prepare your supplies.\\nYou'll need metallic acrylic craft paint, an art paintbrush, and a wet sponge.\\nLook for a deep gray metallic paint. One labeled as \\\"gunmetal gray\\\" will usually be a good choice.\\nDepending on the look you want to create, you may also want to use a copper metallic paint. The copper paint is only optional, though.\\nIt's also a good idea to have a supply of water ready since you may need to rinse the sponge periodically throughout the process. Consider standing next to a sink. Alternatively, keep a bucket of clean water nearby during the process.\\nTo prevent things from getting too messy, cover your work area with plastic sheets or newspaper. You may also want to wear an artist's smock or apron to protect your clothes.\\n3-2. Brush on the first coat.\\nDip the paintbrush in gunmetal gray paint, then apply the paint to the sides of the stainless steel object using even strokes.\\nPour the paint into a disposable paint dish for easy access.\\nApply the paint along the grain of the steel. Cover the entire surface you wish to antique, but do not allow the paint to dry.\\n3-3. Sponge away some of the paint.\\nDab at the applied paint using the wet sponge. Work your way around the surface, essentially \\\"messing up\\\" the perfect coat of paint you just applied.\\nUsing a wet sponge instead of a dry sponge should prevent the pattern of the sponge from imprinting itself into the paint.\\nYou need to remove some of the paint, but you shouldn't wipe all of it away. Much of the paint should still remain after you complete this step.\\nAs you dab away at the paint, you should notice some spots where the paint smears and others where the paint develops a splattered appearance. Both effects are what you need to retain.\\n3-4. Alternate as needed.\\nWork back and forth between the previous two steps. Apply paint with your paintbrush, then dab some of the paint away with your wet sponge.\\nAs the sponge gets loaded with paint, you may need to rinse it with clean water. After rinsing the sponge, gently wring it out before returning to the steel piece. You should work with a damp sponge, not one that is dripping wet.\\nContinue alternating between painting and sponging until you create a naturally worn appearance.\\n3-5. Let dry.\\nSet the stainless steel piece aside and allow it to dry completely before handling it further.\\nExamine the dry piece. Most of the natural metal should show through beneath the coat of paint. Determine whether or not you are satisfied with these results.\\n3-6. Carefully consider additional coats of paint.\\nIf desired, you could try adding a coat of copper metallic paint on top of the gunmetal paint. Apply this second coat with the same painting and sponging technique used for the first.\\nThis second coat is only optional. Understand that it will cover more of the natural metal, and if you don't like the results, you will need to clean off the paint and start from the beginning. It will be impossible to salvage the first layer you applied.\\nAvoid adding any coat beyond the second. Adding too many layers may make it more obvious that the piece has been painted instead of naturally aged.\\nOnce you achieve the desired appearance, the project is complete. Note that the antique effect will last for a long time unless the paint is washed away.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"There are several ways to give new stainless steel pieces an antiqued appearance. Corroding the metal with vinegar or another abrasive chemical will produce the most natural results. For something faster, you could try heat staining or painting the object, instead.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Heated Staining\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wear the appropriate safety gear.\", \"描述\": \"At minimum, you should wear safety goggles and heat-resistant, fire-resistant gloves.\\nAlso note that you will need to handle the stainless steel object with another device, like tongs or a vice. Everything you use should be both fire-resistant and heat-resistant to prevent accidental burns.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Fill a container with warm, moist coffee grounds.\", \"描述\": \"You'll need to prepare enough coffee grounds to cover all sides of the stainless steel object you wish to antique.\\nIf you've recently made a pot of coffee, you can use the spent grounds from that. Otherwise, pour enough warm to hot water over a fresh batch of grounds and give the grounds a few minutes to absorb the moisture\\nFor small, narrow objects like screws, you can fill a small cup with your prepared grounds. For larger objects, coat the bottom of a shallow tray with the grounds, instead.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Heat the steel using a lighter.\", \"描述\": \"Hold the metal object with tongs or a vice, then pass the flame of a lighter over the entire length of the object, heating it thoroughly.\\nContinue rotating and passing the flame over the stainless steel object until the metal begins to darken in color.\\nFor larger objects or a more controlled flame, consider using a propane tank with a lighter attachment instead of a handheld lighter.\\nThe stainless steel will reach temperatures just beneath 500 degrees Fahrenheit (260 degrees Celsius), so you need to work very carefully to prevent accidental burns.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Bury the steel in the coffee grounds.\", \"描述\": \"As soon as the steel object darkens, quickly dip the heated portion into the prepared coffee grounds. Hold it in the grounds for 15 to 30 seconds.\\nThe water in the coffee grounds should quickly cool off the metal. Theoretically, the steel should be safe to touch once you remove it from the grounds, but you should still proceed with caution.\\nIn addition to cooling off the metal, the coffee should dye the stainless steel, giving it the appearance of antiqued metal.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Repeat as needed.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to dye the steel even darker, reheat it and submerge it into the coffee grounds again.\\nYou should be able repeat the process several times without damaging the metal.\\nIf you only want to dye one side or area darker, focus the heat on that area and only apply the coffee grounds to that spot.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Polish as desired.\", \"描述\": \"When you're satisfied with the results, you can quickly polish the steel object by vigorously rubbing it with a soft cloth.\\nWait until the object is cool enough to touch before polishing it.\\nPolishing the piece should buff away coffee granules and some of the dark dye. It should also make the steel a little shinier.\\nAfter you dye and polish the piece to your liking, the project is complete. The results should last indefinitely.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Chemical Corrosion\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Scuff the steel.\", \"描述\": \"Use sandpaper or steel wool to scuff the sides of the stainless steel object.\\nScuffing the steel will create a more age-worn appearance. It also removes some of the protective coating, allowing more of the vinegar to penetrate and work its way through the metal.\\nSteel wool pads will usually create deeper scratches, so if you want to create more subtle wear, use sandpaper instead. Choose a medium to heavy grit sandpaper for best results.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Place the piece in a larger container.\", \"描述\": \"Place the prepared steel item in a plastic bucket or in another similar container made of non-reactive material.\\nAll sides you wish to antique should be exposed. If one side is covered or hidden against the side of the container, the vinegar may not work as effectively there.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Cover with vinegar.\", \"描述\": \"Pour vinegar into the container, covering all sides of the stainless steel piece.\\nYou may want to wear safety goggles and safety gloves when handling vinegar. Even though vinegar is a mild acid, it could sting if it splashes into your eyes. Vinegar can also be a mild irritant if you have sensitive skin or if your skin is submerged for prolonged periods.\\nEvery side touching the vinegar will be affected. Any type of vinegar should work for this project, but white distilled vinegar is recommended since it is fairly cheap and easy to come by.\\nIf the steel piece starts to float, hold it down by placing stones or dry beans on top of it. Make sure that the vinegar still has access to the piece, however.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Allow it to sit overnight.\", \"描述\": \"Keep the steel piece submerged in the vinegar for at least eight hours.\\nThe piece should look subtly aged and worn as soon as you remove it.\\nWhen you remove the piece, rinse the vinegar away with clean water and dry it with clean towels.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Repeat as desired.\", \"描述\": \"If the antiqued appearance isn't as notable as you would prefer, soak the stainless steel for a longer period of time.\\nStainless steel comes in different grades, so this may not be effective on all steel pieces. High-grade stainless steel is more likely to resist corrosion than low-grade stainless steel.\\nIf the vinegar doesn't produce results, you could try using a more corrosive chemical. Toilet bowl cleaner generally works well. Bleach, denture cleaner, and silver dip may also yield results.\\nWhen using harsher chemicals, always wear safety goggles and rubber gloves.\\nNever mix chemicals, either, since doing so can produce dangerous fumes. Thoroughly rinse and dry the piece before attempting to use a different chemical.\\n\\nOnce you are satisfied with the appearance, the project is complete. These results should be permanent.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Acrylic Painting\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Prepare your supplies.\", \"描述\": \"You'll need metallic acrylic craft paint, an art paintbrush, and a wet sponge.\\nLook for a deep gray metallic paint. One labeled as \\\"gunmetal gray\\\" will usually be a good choice.\\nDepending on the look you want to create, you may also want to use a copper metallic paint. The copper paint is only optional, though.\\nIt's also a good idea to have a supply of water ready since you may need to rinse the sponge periodically throughout the process. Consider standing next to a sink. Alternatively, keep a bucket of clean water nearby during the process.\\nTo prevent things from getting too messy, cover your work area with plastic sheets or newspaper. You may also want to wear an artist's smock or apron to protect your clothes.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Brush on the first coat.\", \"描述\": \"Dip the paintbrush in gunmetal gray paint, then apply the paint to the sides of the stainless steel object using even strokes.\\nPour the paint into a disposable paint dish for easy access.\\nApply the paint along the grain of the steel. Cover the entire surface you wish to antique, but do not allow the paint to dry.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Sponge away some of the paint.\", \"描述\": \"Dab at the applied paint using the wet sponge. Work your way around the surface, essentially \\\"messing up\\\" the perfect coat of paint you just applied.\\nUsing a wet sponge instead of a dry sponge should prevent the pattern of the sponge from imprinting itself into the paint.\\nYou need to remove some of the paint, but you shouldn't wipe all of it away. Much of the paint should still remain after you complete this step.\\nAs you dab away at the paint, you should notice some spots where the paint smears and others where the paint develops a splattered appearance. Both effects are what you need to retain.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Alternate as needed.\", \"描述\": \"Work back and forth between the previous two steps. Apply paint with your paintbrush, then dab some of the paint away with your wet sponge.\\nAs the sponge gets loaded with paint, you may need to rinse it with clean water. After rinsing the sponge, gently wring it out before returning to the steel piece. You should work with a damp sponge, not one that is dripping wet.\\nContinue alternating between painting and sponging until you create a naturally worn appearance.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Let dry.\", \"描述\": \"Set the stainless steel piece aside and allow it to dry completely before handling it further.\\nExamine the dry piece. Most of the natural metal should show through beneath the coat of paint. Determine whether or not you are satisfied with these results.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Carefully consider additional coats of paint.\", \"描述\": \"If desired, you could try adding a coat of copper metallic paint on top of the gunmetal paint. Apply this second coat with the same painting and sponging technique used for the first.\\nThis second coat is only optional. Understand that it will cover more of the natural metal, and if you don't like the results, you will need to clean off the paint and start from the beginning. It will be impossible to salvage the first layer you applied.\\nAvoid adding any coat beyond the second. Adding too many layers may make it more obvious that the piece has been painted instead of naturally aged.\\nOnce you achieve the desired appearance, the project is complete. Note that the antique effect will last for a long time unless the paint is washed away.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,773 | What’s the Difference between Being Asocial and Antisocial? | 1. Asocial vs Antisocial Definition
1-1. If you’re asocial, you don’t want to interact with others.
Asocial people are generally uninterested in engaging with society or socializing with others. They won’t jump at the opportunity to hang out with friends, speak up in a class debate, or try new social activities. While being asocial can be a symptom of an underlying condition, it’s often just a personality trait or passing mood.
The word “asocial” is a combination of the prefix “a-,“ which means “without,” and “social,” which means “with others.” It’s similar to words like “amoral” (without morals), or “agnostic” (without belief).
1-2. If you’re antisocial, you’re openly hostile and aggressive to others.
Antisocial people actively seek to undermine people and inflict havoc. They may bully people, commit crimes, or violate social norms to make others uncomfortable. Antisociality is rarely fleeting, and it’s usually a symptom of an emotional or mental health disorder.
Antisociality is the lynchpin of sociopathy—a mental disorder where a person has no regard for right, wrong, and the way other people feel.
Asociality isn’t really a clinical term—it’s just a descriptor. Antisociality on the other hand, is a psychological symptom used by medical clinicians.
The word “antisocial” is a combo of “anti-,” which means “against” and “social.” Think about the words like “antifreeze” (against freezing), or “antibacterial” (against bacteria).
2. Symptoms
2-1. Asocial people usually just want to be left alone.
While an asocial person may have a tendency to feel a little isolated and sad from time to time, they’re often perfectly content to spend most of their time by themselves. Other common signs that someone is asocial include:
A disinterest or nervousness in participating in large groups.
A tendency to miss social cues or violate etiquette.
An inability to hold conversations for an extended period of time.
A preference for solitary activities.
2-2. Antisocial people don’t care about the feelings of others.
Antisociality has nothing to do with disliking social situations. In fact, an antisocial individual may really enjoy parties and group gatherings. However, they’re not fun to be around—antisocial people don’t care about others, and they can be quite cruel. Other signs someone is antisocial include:
A lack of remorse and a disregard for consequences.
A tendency towards violent, aggressive, or manipulative behavior.
A difficult time respecting boundaries or following instructions.
A predilection to break the law.
3. Key Differences
3-1. Asociality is a state of mind while antisociality is a way of being.
Asociality isn’t embedded in someone’s brain the way antisociality is, and an asocial person can naturally blossom into someone who enjoys socializing over time. Antisociality, on the other hand, requires a lot of medical and therapeutic help.
Some people go through a period of antisocial behavior in adolescence as they’re developing emotionally. However, antisocial conditions are typically chronic and lifelong.
3-2. Asocial people experience empathy while antisocial people don’t.
Empathy is the ability to imagine how other people might feel and put yourself in their shoes. This is why most people feel sad when they see bad things happen to people who don’t deserve it. Asocial people may prefer solitude, but they still experience empathy. Antisocial people don’t. They may be able to imagine how something might feel on an intellectual level, but they don’t experience those feelings.
Psychopaths and sociopaths are both subtypes of antisocial. One of the core differences between sociopathy and psychopathy is whether they can intellectually understand empathy. Sociopaths can’t, while psychopaths can.
3-3. Asocial people don’t like socializing, while antisocial people often do.
Some antisocial people aren’t fond of being around other people, but that’s by no means universal. In fact, antisocial folks may even seek out others—if for no reason than to bully, deceive, or take advantage them. Asocial people genuinely just want to be alone.
For most people, being asocial is a lot like being introverted—it’s just a natural orientation towards the world.
3-4. Asociality is passive, while being antisocial is active.
Being asocial is all about not doing something—talking with others, socializing, seeking out relationships, etc. Someone is defined as antisocial by virtue of their actions, though. They deceive, manipulate, fight, and go out of their way to be self-serving.
Antisocial people fall on a spectrum. On one end, you might imagine someone who lies regularly to avoid consequences. On the other end, you might picture Hannibal Lecter.
4. Associated Conditions
4-1. Asociality could be a sign of autism, schizophrenia, or depression.
While asociality is typically a benign personality trait, it can be a symptom of a handful of mental and emotional conditions. Autism is the most common condition if the asociality emerges early on in life. However, it may be a sign of something more serious.
People with schizophrenia suffer from delusions or hallucinations. They may also display disorganized speech or struggle to take care of themselves.
If someone has clinical depression, they usually experience overwhelming hopelessness that keeps them from engaging with others or pursuing interests.
A person may experience chronic asociality as a result of traumatic brain injury or social anxiety.
4-2. Antisocial behavior is the key diagnostic indicator of ASPD.
Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) is a serious personality disorder. It is caused by a combination of genetic and environmental factors, and it’s common among criminals and adults who experienced trauma as children.
ASPD is closely related to narcissistic personality disorder, bipolar disorder, and histrionic disorder, all of which can be equally difficult to cope with.
Antisocial behavior shares a comorbidity with depression.
5. Getting Help
5-1. If you’re asocial, try to explore a new hobby or make a new friend.
Recognize that it’s totally okay to enjoy being by yourself and remember that there’s nothing wrong with you. But if you do want to open up a bit more, start small! Choose one new activity with a social element and pursue it. Alternatively, if you’ve been talking to someone new at work or school, ask them to hang out. By making little changes, you’ll find yourself opening up over time.
If you’re looking for a slightly social activity, consider joining a book club, signing up for a yoga class, or volunteering at a local shelter.
If you think you’ve turned a little asocial because you’re depressed, don’t hesitate to reach out to a friend or family member for help.
5-2. If you’re antisocial, reach out to a psychotherapist for help.
ASPD is a serious condition, but it can be managed with therapy, and potentially medication. Talk therapy with a trained professional can dramatically improve your quality of life and help you work through any underlying issues.
You can find a licensed therapy near you at Better Help.
Managing ASPD is often done by managing other adjacent behaviors and issues. For example, if you’ve got an issue with alcohol addiction and physical violence, you may work on treating the addiction and managing your anger.
A therapist may recommend going to see a primary care physician first just to rule out any other medical conditions.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:07",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Asocial vs Antisocial Definition\\n1-1. If you’re asocial, you don’t want to interact with others.\\nAsocial people are generally uninterested in engaging with society or socializing with others. They won’t jump at the opportunity to hang out with friends, speak up in a class debate, or try new social activities. While being asocial can be a symptom of an underlying condition, it’s often just a personality trait or passing mood.\\nThe word “asocial” is a combination of the prefix “a-,“ which means “without,” and “social,” which means “with others.” It’s similar to words like “amoral” (without morals), or “agnostic” (without belief).\\n1-2. If you’re antisocial, you’re openly hostile and aggressive to others.\\nAntisocial people actively seek to undermine people and inflict havoc. They may bully people, commit crimes, or violate social norms to make others uncomfortable. Antisociality is rarely fleeting, and it’s usually a symptom of an emotional or mental health disorder.\\nAntisociality is the lynchpin of sociopathy—a mental disorder where a person has no regard for right, wrong, and the way other people feel.\\nAsociality isn’t really a clinical term—it’s just a descriptor. Antisociality on the other hand, is a psychological symptom used by medical clinicians.\\nThe word “antisocial” is a combo of “anti-,” which means “against” and “social.” Think about the words like “antifreeze” (against freezing), or “antibacterial” (against bacteria).\\n2. Symptoms\\n2-1. Asocial people usually just want to be left alone.\\nWhile an asocial person may have a tendency to feel a little isolated and sad from time to time, they’re often perfectly content to spend most of their time by themselves. Other common signs that someone is asocial include:\\nA disinterest or nervousness in participating in large groups.\\nA tendency to miss social cues or violate etiquette.\\nAn inability to hold conversations for an extended period of time.\\nA preference for solitary activities.\\n2-2. Antisocial people don’t care about the feelings of others.\\nAntisociality has nothing to do with disliking social situations. In fact, an antisocial individual may really enjoy parties and group gatherings. However, they’re not fun to be around—antisocial people don’t care about others, and they can be quite cruel. Other signs someone is antisocial include:\\nA lack of remorse and a disregard for consequences.\\nA tendency towards violent, aggressive, or manipulative behavior.\\nA difficult time respecting boundaries or following instructions.\\nA predilection to break the law.\\n3. Key Differences\\n3-1. Asociality is a state of mind while antisociality is a way of being.\\nAsociality isn’t embedded in someone’s brain the way antisociality is, and an asocial person can naturally blossom into someone who enjoys socializing over time. Antisociality, on the other hand, requires a lot of medical and therapeutic help.\\nSome people go through a period of antisocial behavior in adolescence as they’re developing emotionally. However, antisocial conditions are typically chronic and lifelong.\\n3-2. Asocial people experience empathy while antisocial people don’t.\\nEmpathy is the ability to imagine how other people might feel and put yourself in their shoes. This is why most people feel sad when they see bad things happen to people who don’t deserve it. Asocial people may prefer solitude, but they still experience empathy. Antisocial people don’t. They may be able to imagine how something might feel on an intellectual level, but they don’t experience those feelings.\\nPsychopaths and sociopaths are both subtypes of antisocial. One of the core differences between sociopathy and psychopathy is whether they can intellectually understand empathy. Sociopaths can’t, while psychopaths can.\\n3-3. Asocial people don’t like socializing, while antisocial people often do.\\nSome antisocial people aren’t fond of being around other people, but that’s by no means universal. In fact, antisocial folks may even seek out others—if for no reason than to bully, deceive, or take advantage them. Asocial people genuinely just want to be alone.\\nFor most people, being asocial is a lot like being introverted—it’s just a natural orientation towards the world.\\n3-4. Asociality is passive, while being antisocial is active.\\nBeing asocial is all about not doing something—talking with others, socializing, seeking out relationships, etc. Someone is defined as antisocial by virtue of their actions, though. They deceive, manipulate, fight, and go out of their way to be self-serving.\\nAntisocial people fall on a spectrum. On one end, you might imagine someone who lies regularly to avoid consequences. On the other end, you might picture Hannibal Lecter.\\n4. Associated Conditions\\n4-1. Asociality could be a sign of autism, schizophrenia, or depression.\\nWhile asociality is typically a benign personality trait, it can be a symptom of a handful of mental and emotional conditions. Autism is the most common condition if the asociality emerges early on in life. However, it may be a sign of something more serious.\\nPeople with schizophrenia suffer from delusions or hallucinations. They may also display disorganized speech or struggle to take care of themselves.\\nIf someone has clinical depression, they usually experience overwhelming hopelessness that keeps them from engaging with others or pursuing interests.\\nA person may experience chronic asociality as a result of traumatic brain injury or social anxiety.\\n4-2. Antisocial behavior is the key diagnostic indicator of ASPD.\\nAntisocial personality disorder (ASPD) is a serious personality disorder. It is caused by a combination of genetic and environmental factors, and it’s common among criminals and adults who experienced trauma as children.\\nASPD is closely related to narcissistic personality disorder, bipolar disorder, and histrionic disorder, all of which can be equally difficult to cope with.\\nAntisocial behavior shares a comorbidity with depression.\\n5. Getting Help\\n5-1. If you’re asocial, try to explore a new hobby or make a new friend.\\nRecognize that it’s totally okay to enjoy being by yourself and remember that there’s nothing wrong with you. But if you do want to open up a bit more, start small! Choose one new activity with a social element and pursue it. Alternatively, if you’ve been talking to someone new at work or school, ask them to hang out. By making little changes, you’ll find yourself opening up over time.\\nIf you’re looking for a slightly social activity, consider joining a book club, signing up for a yoga class, or volunteering at a local shelter.\\nIf you think you’ve turned a little asocial because you’re depressed, don’t hesitate to reach out to a friend or family member for help.\\n5-2. If you’re antisocial, reach out to a psychotherapist for help.\\nASPD is a serious condition, but it can be managed with therapy, and potentially medication. Talk therapy with a trained professional can dramatically improve your quality of life and help you work through any underlying issues.\\nYou can find a licensed therapy near you at Better Help.\\nManaging ASPD is often done by managing other adjacent behaviors and issues. For example, if you’ve got an issue with alcohol addiction and physical violence, you may work on treating the addiction and managing your anger.\\nA therapist may recommend going to see a primary care physician first just to rule out any other medical conditions.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"In daily conversation, people often use the terms “antisocial” and “asocial” interchangeably to describe someone who’s dark, brooding, and prefers solitude. But what’s the actual difference between the two? That’s what we’re here to help answer. In this article, we’ll break down the difference between antisocial vs. asocial, explain the symptoms of each condition, and help you figure out when to use each term.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Asocial vs Antisocial Definition\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you’re asocial, you don’t want to interact with others.\", \"描述\": \"Asocial people are generally uninterested in engaging with society or socializing with others. They won’t jump at the opportunity to hang out with friends, speak up in a class debate, or try new social activities. While being asocial can be a symptom of an underlying condition, it’s often just a personality trait or passing mood.\\nThe word “asocial” is a combination of the prefix “a-,“ which means “without,” and “social,” which means “with others.” It’s similar to words like “amoral” (without morals), or “agnostic” (without belief).\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"If you’re antisocial, you’re openly hostile and aggressive to others.\", \"描述\": \"Antisocial people actively seek to undermine people and inflict havoc. They may bully people, commit crimes, or violate social norms to make others uncomfortable. Antisociality is rarely fleeting, and it’s usually a symptom of an emotional or mental health disorder.\\nAntisociality is the lynchpin of sociopathy—a mental disorder where a person has no regard for right, wrong, and the way other people feel.\\nAsociality isn’t really a clinical term—it’s just a descriptor. Antisociality on the other hand, is a psychological symptom used by medical clinicians.\\nThe word “antisocial” is a combo of “anti-,” which means “against” and “social.” Think about the words like “antifreeze” (against freezing), or “antibacterial” (against bacteria).\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Symptoms\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Asocial people usually just want to be left alone.\", \"描述\": \"While an asocial person may have a tendency to feel a little isolated and sad from time to time, they’re often perfectly content to spend most of their time by themselves. Other common signs that someone is asocial include:\\nA disinterest or nervousness in participating in large groups.\\nA tendency to miss social cues or violate etiquette.\\nAn inability to hold conversations for an extended period of time.\\nA preference for solitary activities.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Antisocial people don’t care about the feelings of others.\", \"描述\": \"Antisociality has nothing to do with disliking social situations. In fact, an antisocial individual may really enjoy parties and group gatherings. However, they’re not fun to be around—antisocial people don’t care about others, and they can be quite cruel. Other signs someone is antisocial include:\\nA lack of remorse and a disregard for consequences.\\nA tendency towards violent, aggressive, or manipulative behavior.\\nA difficult time respecting boundaries or following instructions.\\nA predilection to break the law.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Key Differences\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Asociality is a state of mind while antisociality is a way of being.\", \"描述\": \"Asociality isn’t embedded in someone’s brain the way antisociality is, and an asocial person can naturally blossom into someone who enjoys socializing over time. Antisociality, on the other hand, requires a lot of medical and therapeutic help.\\nSome people go through a period of antisocial behavior in adolescence as they’re developing emotionally. However, antisocial conditions are typically chronic and lifelong.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asocial people experience empathy while antisocial people don’t.\", \"描述\": \"Empathy is the ability to imagine how other people might feel and put yourself in their shoes. This is why most people feel sad when they see bad things happen to people who don’t deserve it. Asocial people may prefer solitude, but they still experience empathy. Antisocial people don’t. They may be able to imagine how something might feel on an intellectual level, but they don’t experience those feelings.\\nPsychopaths and sociopaths are both subtypes of antisocial. One of the core differences between sociopathy and psychopathy is whether they can intellectually understand empathy. Sociopaths can’t, while psychopaths can.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Asocial people don’t like socializing, while antisocial people often do.\", \"描述\": \"Some antisocial people aren’t fond of being around other people, but that’s by no means universal. In fact, antisocial folks may even seek out others—if for no reason than to bully, deceive, or take advantage them. Asocial people genuinely just want to be alone.\\nFor most people, being asocial is a lot like being introverted—it’s just a natural orientation towards the world.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Asociality is passive, while being antisocial is active.\", \"描述\": \"Being asocial is all about not doing something—talking with others, socializing, seeking out relationships, etc. Someone is defined as antisocial by virtue of their actions, though. They deceive, manipulate, fight, and go out of their way to be self-serving.\\nAntisocial people fall on a spectrum. On one end, you might imagine someone who lies regularly to avoid consequences. On the other end, you might picture Hannibal Lecter.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Associated Conditions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Asociality could be a sign of autism, schizophrenia, or depression.\", \"描述\": \"While asociality is typically a benign personality trait, it can be a symptom of a handful of mental and emotional conditions. Autism is the most common condition if the asociality emerges early on in life. However, it may be a sign of something more serious.\\nPeople with schizophrenia suffer from delusions or hallucinations. They may also display disorganized speech or struggle to take care of themselves.\\nIf someone has clinical depression, they usually experience overwhelming hopelessness that keeps them from engaging with others or pursuing interests.\\nA person may experience chronic asociality as a result of traumatic brain injury or social anxiety.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Antisocial behavior is the key diagnostic indicator of ASPD.\", \"描述\": \"Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) is a serious personality disorder. It is caused by a combination of genetic and environmental factors, and it’s common among criminals and adults who experienced trauma as children.\\nASPD is closely related to narcissistic personality disorder, bipolar disorder, and histrionic disorder, all of which can be equally difficult to cope with.\\nAntisocial behavior shares a comorbidity with depression.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Getting Help\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you’re asocial, try to explore a new hobby or make a new friend.\", \"描述\": \"Recognize that it’s totally okay to enjoy being by yourself and remember that there’s nothing wrong with you. But if you do want to open up a bit more, start small! Choose one new activity with a social element and pursue it. Alternatively, if you’ve been talking to someone new at work or school, ask them to hang out. By making little changes, you’ll find yourself opening up over time.\\nIf you’re looking for a slightly social activity, consider joining a book club, signing up for a yoga class, or volunteering at a local shelter.\\nIf you think you’ve turned a little asocial because you’re depressed, don’t hesitate to reach out to a friend or family member for help.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"If you’re antisocial, reach out to a psychotherapist for help.\", \"描述\": \"ASPD is a serious condition, but it can be managed with therapy, and potentially medication. Talk therapy with a trained professional can dramatically improve your quality of life and help you work through any underlying issues.\\nYou can find a licensed therapy near you at Better Help.\\nManaging ASPD is often done by managing other adjacent behaviors and issues. For example, if you’ve got an issue with alcohol addiction and physical violence, you may work on treating the addiction and managing your anger.\\nA therapist may recommend going to see a primary care physician first just to rule out any other medical conditions.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,774 | How to Apologise for Offending Your Friend | 1. Saying You’re Sorry
1-1. Find a place and time where you can talk privately.
Most apologies feel pretty uncomfortable for both parties, and it’s probably better to do it away from others’ eyes and ears. When you’re ready to apologise, take a minute to collect your thoughts before approaching your friend.
Try saying, “Hey, Mark, can I talk to you for a minute?” People generally get the sense from this question that you need to talk to them privately, and it is a more serious matter.
Step away from others toward a quieter, more private location.
Make sure you talk to your friend when they have a few minutes to spare, not when they’re rushing off to class or work.
1-2. Apologise.
Apologise for the specific thing you did wrong, whether it was your behavior, a joke, or something you said. Say what it was you did to upset your friend. In apologies, it is important to take ownership of your behaviour.
For example, say “I’m really sorry I made fun of your outfit in front of your crush,” instead of, “I’m sorry about what happened back there.”
1-3. Accept responsibility.
You do not apologise that your friend has hurt feelings, you apologise that you created your friend’s hurt feelings because of what you did.
Don’t say “I’m sorry you took it the wrong way.” This implies that there is a right or wrong way to feel about something. No one is right or wrong for feeling how they do.
Don’t say “I’m sorry if what I did upset you.” This apology puts the burden on the person you hurt and doesn’t make you take responsibility for your behaviour.
A better apology would be simple, direct, and acknowledge the pain you caused: “I’m so sorry I hurt your feelings.”
1-4. Keep your voice quiet and calm.
You want to appear contrite and humble, not looking to argue. If your friend begins to yell at you out of anger, resist the urge to yell back to avoid a fight.
1-5. Consider writing a letter.
If your friend is too upset or angry and doesn’t want to talk to you, you might want to write an apology. Put some effort into a sincere, thoughtful note.
You can email a note, handwrite one, or even send a card.
Check out How to Apologize or How to Write an Apology Letter for examples of written apologies.
Be sure to follow up with an in-person apology once your friend is more willing to listen to you.
2. Acknowledging You Hurt Their Feelings
2-1. Admit your behaviour caused them pain or embarrassment.
Even if you don’t understand how your joke wasn’t funny or your comment was offensive, you nevertheless hurt your friend. Express regret that your actions made your friend feel this way.
You could say, “If I could do it over again, I never would have made that joke. I am so sorry I offended you.”
2-2. Understand their point of view.
Don’t try to change their opinion or argue for your side, just listen to them and try to understand where they are coming from. Let them explain to you why your behaviour was offensive to them. When people feel heard, they tend to become less angry.
Putting yourself in another person’s shoes and trying to see things from their perspective is called empathy. There are several ways to show empathy, and one of the most important ways you can be empathic is to listen. Listen to your friend explain how they are feeling without arguing or interjecting your thoughts.
Perhaps you said something offensive about your friend’s ethnic background or religion that you genuinely had no idea would be upsetting. Take this opportunity as a chance to learn and understand where your friend is coming from.
For example, you could say, “I didn’t know that your food was part of an important tradition in your culture. I wouldn’t have made fun of you for eating it if I had known. I’m so sorry. I would love to learn more about this tradition.”
2-3. Explain your behaviour.
If your friend is open to hearing you, let them know why you chose to do what you did. Keep in mind they may be too upset to listen, in which case, let it go for now. Be humble and sincere, and if you sense an argument brewing, back off.
Do not be defensive. For example, “You do it to me all the time, so I thought it was okay!” does not make the listener feel that you are accepting responsibility. It also creates defensiveness in the listener.
When explaining your behaviour, acknowledge that you still shouldn’t have behaved as you did. For example, “I was really tired last night, and that’s why I snapped at you. It’s no excuse, though. I should have left early instead of being mean to you.”
Try saying, “I truly didn’t mean to hurt your feelings when I pulled that prank. I know we like to joke, and I really thought you would find it funny. But now I can understand why you didn’t.”
3. Making Amends and Reinforcing Your Friendship
3-1. Tell them you will not do it again.
Indicating you learned from this situation helps maintain trust in your friendship. Your friend will not be walking on eggshells around you, concerned you will intentionally hurt them again.
You could say, “I learned my lesson that other people’s families are off-limits when it comes to jokes. I won’t do it again to you or anyone else in the future. I can understand now why I made you so mad.”
3-2. Offer to make it right.
An apology that truly gets people past the negative incident will include some attempt to right the wrong. A wholehearted attempt to repair the situation is almost always seen positively through the eyes of the offended person. Some ways you could attempt to make amends include:
Replacing an item you ruined, or giving the person money to replace it.
Tell others who witnessed the incident that you were wrong and shouldn’t have done it. You could also help protect your friend from future offenses by letting people them know a certain behaviour is off-limits. You could say, “Hey guys, I know you heard me make fun of Mike’s brother earlier. I was wrong to do it and really upset him. So let’s help him out and not make fun of him in the future, okay?”
Doing something kind for your friend: Treat them to lunch, offer to wash their car, or help them study for a test.
3-3. Acknowledge the importance of your friendship.
Let your friend know how much they mean to you, and how you hope that this incident will not negatively impact your relationship. Acknowledge your history together.
You could say, “I really screwed up with this. I feel terrible that I damaged our friendship by offending you in this way. You’re such a good friend to me.”
Talk about how long you’ve been friends and the common history you share. Do not say this in a way that makes your friend feel guilty for being offended; rather, note its importance to you. For example, “I remember how you stood by me when my mum got sick last year. It meant and still means so much to me that you were there.”
3-4. Ask for forgiveness.
Once you have apologised to your friend and they have accepted your apology, you may also want to ask for their forgiveness. People are more willing to forgive after a heartfelt, humble apology, and if they can trust you to keep your word that you will not hurt them that way again.
You could say, “Can you please forgive me for making that mean joke about you?”
Forgiveness can take time. Let your friend know that you understand this. You could say, “I hope you can forgive me someday for this, but I know you might not want to right now.”
3-5. Let your friend decide what they need.
Even if your friend accepted your apology, they still may need a little space to get over their hurt feelings. Take your cue from them.
Give your friend a few days if it seems like they need some space away from you. You could check in with a text message after a day or two and invite your friend to an activity you know they would enjoy: “Hey, how’s it going? Do you want to go work out this weekend?”
When your friend is ready to hang out with you again, invite them to do something special with you. Do something you both enjoy, and pay for the activity if there’s a cost associated with it.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:07",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Saying You’re Sorry\\n1-1. Find a place and time where you can talk privately.\\nMost apologies feel pretty uncomfortable for both parties, and it’s probably better to do it away from others’ eyes and ears. When you’re ready to apologise, take a minute to collect your thoughts before approaching your friend.\\nTry saying, “Hey, Mark, can I talk to you for a minute?” People generally get the sense from this question that you need to talk to them privately, and it is a more serious matter.\\nStep away from others toward a quieter, more private location.\\nMake sure you talk to your friend when they have a few minutes to spare, not when they’re rushing off to class or work.\\n1-2. Apologise.\\nApologise for the specific thing you did wrong, whether it was your behavior, a joke, or something you said. Say what it was you did to upset your friend. In apologies, it is important to take ownership of your behaviour.\\nFor example, say “I’m really sorry I made fun of your outfit in front of your crush,” instead of, “I’m sorry about what happened back there.”\\n1-3. Accept responsibility.\\nYou do not apologise that your friend has hurt feelings, you apologise that you created your friend’s hurt feelings because of what you did.\\nDon’t say “I’m sorry you took it the wrong way.” This implies that there is a right or wrong way to feel about something. No one is right or wrong for feeling how they do.\\nDon’t say “I’m sorry if what I did upset you.” This apology puts the burden on the person you hurt and doesn’t make you take responsibility for your behaviour.\\nA better apology would be simple, direct, and acknowledge the pain you caused: “I’m so sorry I hurt your feelings.”\\n1-4. Keep your voice quiet and calm.\\nYou want to appear contrite and humble, not looking to argue. If your friend begins to yell at you out of anger, resist the urge to yell back to avoid a fight.\\n1-5. Consider writing a letter.\\nIf your friend is too upset or angry and doesn’t want to talk to you, you might want to write an apology. Put some effort into a sincere, thoughtful note.\\nYou can email a note, handwrite one, or even send a card.\\nCheck out How to Apologize or How to Write an Apology Letter for examples of written apologies.\\nBe sure to follow up with an in-person apology once your friend is more willing to listen to you.\\n2. Acknowledging You Hurt Their Feelings\\n2-1. Admit your behaviour caused them pain or embarrassment.\\nEven if you don’t understand how your joke wasn’t funny or your comment was offensive, you nevertheless hurt your friend. Express regret that your actions made your friend feel this way.\\nYou could say, “If I could do it over again, I never would have made that joke. I am so sorry I offended you.”\\n2-2. Understand their point of view.\\nDon’t try to change their opinion or argue for your side, just listen to them and try to understand where they are coming from. Let them explain to you why your behaviour was offensive to them. When people feel heard, they tend to become less angry.\\nPutting yourself in another person’s shoes and trying to see things from their perspective is called empathy. There are several ways to show empathy, and one of the most important ways you can be empathic is to listen. Listen to your friend explain how they are feeling without arguing or interjecting your thoughts.\\nPerhaps you said something offensive about your friend’s ethnic background or religion that you genuinely had no idea would be upsetting. Take this opportunity as a chance to learn and understand where your friend is coming from.\\nFor example, you could say, “I didn’t know that your food was part of an important tradition in your culture. I wouldn’t have made fun of you for eating it if I had known. I’m so sorry. I would love to learn more about this tradition.”\\n2-3. Explain your behaviour.\\nIf your friend is open to hearing you, let them know why you chose to do what you did. Keep in mind they may be too upset to listen, in which case, let it go for now. Be humble and sincere, and if you sense an argument brewing, back off.\\nDo not be defensive. For example, “You do it to me all the time, so I thought it was okay!” does not make the listener feel that you are accepting responsibility. It also creates defensiveness in the listener.\\nWhen explaining your behaviour, acknowledge that you still shouldn’t have behaved as you did. For example, “I was really tired last night, and that’s why I snapped at you. It’s no excuse, though. I should have left early instead of being mean to you.”\\nTry saying, “I truly didn’t mean to hurt your feelings when I pulled that prank. I know we like to joke, and I really thought you would find it funny. But now I can understand why you didn’t.”\\n3. Making Amends and Reinforcing Your Friendship\\n3-1. Tell them you will not do it again.\\nIndicating you learned from this situation helps maintain trust in your friendship. Your friend will not be walking on eggshells around you, concerned you will intentionally hurt them again.\\nYou could say, “I learned my lesson that other people’s families are off-limits when it comes to jokes. I won’t do it again to you or anyone else in the future. I can understand now why I made you so mad.”\\n3-2. Offer to make it right.\\nAn apology that truly gets people past the negative incident will include some attempt to right the wrong. A wholehearted attempt to repair the situation is almost always seen positively through the eyes of the offended person. Some ways you could attempt to make amends include:\\nReplacing an item you ruined, or giving the person money to replace it.\\nTell others who witnessed the incident that you were wrong and shouldn’t have done it. You could also help protect your friend from future offenses by letting people them know a certain behaviour is off-limits. You could say, “Hey guys, I know you heard me make fun of Mike’s brother earlier. I was wrong to do it and really upset him. So let’s help him out and not make fun of him in the future, okay?”\\nDoing something kind for your friend: Treat them to lunch, offer to wash their car, or help them study for a test.\\n3-3. Acknowledge the importance of your friendship.\\nLet your friend know how much they mean to you, and how you hope that this incident will not negatively impact your relationship. Acknowledge your history together.\\nYou could say, “I really screwed up with this. I feel terrible that I damaged our friendship by offending you in this way. You’re such a good friend to me.”\\nTalk about how long you’ve been friends and the common history you share. Do not say this in a way that makes your friend feel guilty for being offended; rather, note its importance to you. For example, “I remember how you stood by me when my mum got sick last year. It meant and still means so much to me that you were there.”\\n3-4. Ask for forgiveness.\\nOnce you have apologised to your friend and they have accepted your apology, you may also want to ask for their forgiveness. People are more willing to forgive after a heartfelt, humble apology, and if they can trust you to keep your word that you will not hurt them that way again.\\nYou could say, “Can you please forgive me for making that mean joke about you?”\\nForgiveness can take time. Let your friend know that you understand this. You could say, “I hope you can forgive me someday for this, but I know you might not want to right now.”\\n3-5. Let your friend decide what they need.\\nEven if your friend accepted your apology, they still may need a little space to get over their hurt feelings. Take your cue from them.\\nGive your friend a few days if it seems like they need some space away from you. You could check in with a text message after a day or two and invite your friend to an activity you know they would enjoy: “Hey, how’s it going? Do you want to go work out this weekend?”\\nWhen your friend is ready to hang out with you again, invite them to do something special with you. Do something you both enjoy, and pay for the activity if there’s a cost associated with it.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Sometimes, without meaning to, you can take a joke too far or say something that insults or demeans your friend. If you find out that your friend was offended by one of your jokes, pranks, or comments, you might decide to be the bigger person and apologise. Apologising is more than just “I’m sorry.\\\" You want to make sure you acknowledge how you hurt the person, understand where they are coming from, and take steps to make amends to your friend. While your friend may still be upset with you, a sincere, heartfelt apology will do a lot to help repair your friendship.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Saying You’re Sorry\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find a place and time where you can talk privately.\", \"描述\": \"Most apologies feel pretty uncomfortable for both parties, and it’s probably better to do it away from others’ eyes and ears. When you’re ready to apologise, take a minute to collect your thoughts before approaching your friend.\\nTry saying, “Hey, Mark, can I talk to you for a minute?” People generally get the sense from this question that you need to talk to them privately, and it is a more serious matter.\\nStep away from others toward a quieter, more private location.\\nMake sure you talk to your friend when they have a few minutes to spare, not when they’re rushing off to class or work.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Apologise.\", \"描述\": \"Apologise for the specific thing you did wrong, whether it was your behavior, a joke, or something you said. Say what it was you did to upset your friend. In apologies, it is important to take ownership of your behaviour.\\nFor example, say “I’m really sorry I made fun of your outfit in front of your crush,” instead of, “I’m sorry about what happened back there.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accept responsibility.\", \"描述\": \"You do not apologise that your friend has hurt feelings, you apologise that you created your friend’s hurt feelings because of what you did.\\nDon’t say “I’m sorry you took it the wrong way.” This implies that there is a right or wrong way to feel about something. No one is right or wrong for feeling how they do.\\nDon’t say “I’m sorry if what I did upset you.” This apology puts the burden on the person you hurt and doesn’t make you take responsibility for your behaviour.\\nA better apology would be simple, direct, and acknowledge the pain you caused: “I’m so sorry I hurt your feelings.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep your voice quiet and calm.\", \"描述\": \"You want to appear contrite and humble, not looking to argue. If your friend begins to yell at you out of anger, resist the urge to yell back to avoid a fight.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Consider writing a letter.\", \"描述\": \"If your friend is too upset or angry and doesn’t want to talk to you, you might want to write an apology. Put some effort into a sincere, thoughtful note.\\nYou can email a note, handwrite one, or even send a card.\\nCheck out How to Apologize or How to Write an Apology Letter for examples of written apologies.\\nBe sure to follow up with an in-person apology once your friend is more willing to listen to you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Acknowledging You Hurt Their Feelings\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Admit your behaviour caused them pain or embarrassment.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you don’t understand how your joke wasn’t funny or your comment was offensive, you nevertheless hurt your friend. Express regret that your actions made your friend feel this way.\\nYou could say, “If I could do it over again, I never would have made that joke. I am so sorry I offended you.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Understand their point of view.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t try to change their opinion or argue for your side, just listen to them and try to understand where they are coming from. Let them explain to you why your behaviour was offensive to them. When people feel heard, they tend to become less angry.\\nPutting yourself in another person’s shoes and trying to see things from their perspective is called empathy. There are several ways to show empathy, and one of the most important ways you can be empathic is to listen. Listen to your friend explain how they are feeling without arguing or interjecting your thoughts.\\nPerhaps you said something offensive about your friend’s ethnic background or religion that you genuinely had no idea would be upsetting. Take this opportunity as a chance to learn and understand where your friend is coming from.\\nFor example, you could say, “I didn’t know that your food was part of an important tradition in your culture. I wouldn’t have made fun of you for eating it if I had known. I’m so sorry. I would love to learn more about this tradition.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Explain your behaviour.\", \"描述\": \"If your friend is open to hearing you, let them know why you chose to do what you did. Keep in mind they may be too upset to listen, in which case, let it go for now. Be humble and sincere, and if you sense an argument brewing, back off.\\nDo not be defensive. For example, “You do it to me all the time, so I thought it was okay!” does not make the listener feel that you are accepting responsibility. It also creates defensiveness in the listener.\\nWhen explaining your behaviour, acknowledge that you still shouldn’t have behaved as you did. For example, “I was really tired last night, and that’s why I snapped at you. It’s no excuse, though. I should have left early instead of being mean to you.”\\nTry saying, “I truly didn’t mean to hurt your feelings when I pulled that prank. I know we like to joke, and I really thought you would find it funny. But now I can understand why you didn’t.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Making Amends and Reinforcing Your Friendship\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tell them you will not do it again.\", \"描述\": \"Indicating you learned from this situation helps maintain trust in your friendship. Your friend will not be walking on eggshells around you, concerned you will intentionally hurt them again.\\nYou could say, “I learned my lesson that other people’s families are off-limits when it comes to jokes. I won’t do it again to you or anyone else in the future. I can understand now why I made you so mad.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Offer to make it right.\", \"描述\": \"An apology that truly gets people past the negative incident will include some attempt to right the wrong. A wholehearted attempt to repair the situation is almost always seen positively through the eyes of the offended person. Some ways you could attempt to make amends include:\\nReplacing an item you ruined, or giving the person money to replace it.\\nTell others who witnessed the incident that you were wrong and shouldn’t have done it. You could also help protect your friend from future offenses by letting people them know a certain behaviour is off-limits. You could say, “Hey guys, I know you heard me make fun of Mike’s brother earlier. I was wrong to do it and really upset him. So let’s help him out and not make fun of him in the future, okay?”\\nDoing something kind for your friend: Treat them to lunch, offer to wash their car, or help them study for a test.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge the importance of your friendship.\", \"描述\": \"Let your friend know how much they mean to you, and how you hope that this incident will not negatively impact your relationship. Acknowledge your history together.\\nYou could say, “I really screwed up with this. I feel terrible that I damaged our friendship by offending you in this way. You’re such a good friend to me.”\\nTalk about how long you’ve been friends and the common history you share. Do not say this in a way that makes your friend feel guilty for being offended; rather, note its importance to you. For example, “I remember how you stood by me when my mum got sick last year. It meant and still means so much to me that you were there.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask for forgiveness.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have apologised to your friend and they have accepted your apology, you may also want to ask for their forgiveness. People are more willing to forgive after a heartfelt, humble apology, and if they can trust you to keep your word that you will not hurt them that way again.\\nYou could say, “Can you please forgive me for making that mean joke about you?”\\nForgiveness can take time. Let your friend know that you understand this. You could say, “I hope you can forgive me someday for this, but I know you might not want to right now.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Let your friend decide what they need.\", \"描述\": \"Even if your friend accepted your apology, they still may need a little space to get over their hurt feelings. Take your cue from them.\\nGive your friend a few days if it seems like they need some space away from you. You could check in with a text message after a day or two and invite your friend to an activity you know they would enjoy: “Hey, how’s it going? Do you want to go work out this weekend?”\\nWhen your friend is ready to hang out with you again, invite them to do something special with you. Do something you both enjoy, and pay for the activity if there’s a cost associated with it.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,775 | How to Apologise to Your Boyfriend Through Text | 1. “I’m so sorry.”
A genuine “sorry” can go a long way.
Making amends really does start with a heartfelt expression of this simple word. It can mean a lot to your boyfriend to hear you say it. You can also say sorry over text with something like:
“I’m really sorry about the other night.”
“I can’t express to you how sorry I am about what happened.”
“I owe you an apology, and I’m really sorry.”
2. “I shouldn’t have said what I said.”
Taking responsibility makes for an effective apology.
Show your boyfriend that you’re aware that you made a mistake, and let him know that you have the self-awareness it takes to make this relationship work. Say something like:
“It was wrong of me to get upset at you when you were trying your best to make our night a good one.”
“I was completely in the wrong to have called you those names.”
“I shouldn’t have lost my temper—there was no reason that we couldn’t have had a calm discussion.”
3. “I feel terrible about what happened.”
Showing remorse lets your boyfriend know how you feel.
By letting him know that what you did has been weighing on you, you’re also letting him know that you care about him. Text him something like:
“I’ve been thinking about our fight all day, and it’s really been bothering me.”
“I really regret that I acted like that in front of you.”
“I’ve been upset all night thinking about the fact that I yelled at you.”
4. “I was having a hard day, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”
An explanation can clarify your actions.
Remember that while you shouldn’t try to justify yourself or be defensive, it’s a good idea to let your boyfriend know if something else was on your mind that caused you to act the way you did. Send him a message like:
“I’d just been dealing with my mom, and I came into our conversation already upset.”
“I’ve been feeling really depressed lately, but you don’t deserve to be the target.”
“Work has been really tough these past few days, but I should have left those feelings in the office.”
5. “I can see how what I said hurt you.”
Empathy gives your boyfriend a chance to feel heard.
Try to put yourself in his shoes, and tell him that you understand how he must be feeling. Empathy is a key part of every relationship, so show him you have what it takes to make this one work. Say something like:
“I know it must be really hard on you to have me constantly doubting your commitment to me.”
“I know that you’re trying your best, and that our fight must have really bothered you.”
“I understand that you’re a kind and sensitive person, and so expressing myself in an angry way like that must be really difficult for you.”
6. “You’re so important to me.”
Demonstrating that you care about the relationship can save it.
If you’re wondering how to apologize to your boyfriend, you probably really want this relationship to work. Showing him that it’s important to you can mean a lot to him. Send him a message like:
“I really love you, even if I don’t show it all the time.”
“You’re my best friend, and I care about you so much.”
“I value having you in my life more than anything.”
7. “I promise that this won’t happen again.”
Making a plan for accountability rebuilds trust.
A promise that you won’t repeat the same mistakes in the future can let him know that you’re committed to change. Giving him a more specific plan to make a change can work even better, so try saying something like:
“I know I’ve been pretty emotionally off lately. I think it would help our relationship for me to talk to a professional, and so I’ve scheduled an appointment with a therapist.”
“I realize that my anger has become a problem for us. I want to make things better, so I’ve decided to start taking anger management classes.”
“I’ve been really irresponsible with our money. How about if we work on making a budget together?”
8. “Can we talk about what happened?”
An apology can be a good time for open communication.
Every fight can actually be a great learning opportunity for both you and your boyfriend to learn how to communicate better in the future. Invite him to open up about what’s on his mind by saying something like:
“I really don’t want to have a repeat of last night, so could we schedule some time to talk about how we’re feeling?”
“I want to learn how to communicate with you better—would you be okay with having a conversation about this tonight?”
“I know that feelings were really hurt the other day. I think we could process this better by having an open conversation.”
9. “What can I do to make it up to you?”
Repairing the relationship might take more than words.
Asking your boyfriend if there’s anything practical you can do to make up for what happened is a great way to make amends. If you know what kinds of affection your boyfriend responds to best, offer to provide it to him by saying something like:
“I want to show you that I care about you, so I made you this playlist that reminds me of you.”
“I know we just went through a rough patch—maybe I could plan a date for us so that we can spend some quality time together?”
“I’m really sorry for what happened, and I got you a gift that I think you might like to try and make it up to you.”
10. “Can we talk about this in person?”
This conversation might be better face-to-face.
Some issues are too big to be dealt with over text, and as scary as it might be, an in-person conversation can give you both the space you need to work through what happened. Say something like:
“I really want to express how sorry I am to you face-to-face—can you carve out some time this weekend?”
“How about if we head to the park this evening? I think it would be good to talk about what happened.”
“Any dinner plans tomorrow? I want to get a chance to apologize to you not over text.”
11. “Do you think that you could forgive me?”
Asking for forgiveness puts the ball in your boyfriend’s court.
Requesting forgiveness is an important part of an apology, because it gives your boyfriend the chance to take his own feelings into account and make a decision. Say something like:
“I’d like to ask you for your forgiveness, if you’re ready.”
“I want to be able to move on from this, but I know it’s not entirely my decision.”
“I know I’ve really hurt you, but could you forgive me?”
Tips
Try to apologize sooner rather than later. Taking too much time to apologize after you’ve made a mistake can make it harder for you and your boyfriend to see eye-to-eye.[12]
X
Expert Source
John KeeganDating Coach
Expert Interview. 25 May 2021.
If your boyfriend doesn’t forgive you, it’s sometimes best to move on. Give him some time to see if he’ll come around, but if he doesn’t, you’re not a bad person for ending the relationship.[13]
X
Expert Source
Patti Novak WilliamsProfessional Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 12 January 2021.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:07",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. “I’m so sorry.”\\nA genuine “sorry” can go a long way.\\nMaking amends really does start with a heartfelt expression of this simple word. It can mean a lot to your boyfriend to hear you say it. You can also say sorry over text with something like:\\n“I’m really sorry about the other night.”\\n“I can’t express to you how sorry I am about what happened.”\\n“I owe you an apology, and I’m really sorry.”\\n2. “I shouldn’t have said what I said.”\\nTaking responsibility makes for an effective apology.\\nShow your boyfriend that you’re aware that you made a mistake, and let him know that you have the self-awareness it takes to make this relationship work. Say something like:\\n“It was wrong of me to get upset at you when you were trying your best to make our night a good one.”\\n“I was completely in the wrong to have called you those names.”\\n“I shouldn’t have lost my temper—there was no reason that we couldn’t have had a calm discussion.”\\n3. “I feel terrible about what happened.”\\nShowing remorse lets your boyfriend know how you feel.\\nBy letting him know that what you did has been weighing on you, you’re also letting him know that you care about him. Text him something like:\\n“I’ve been thinking about our fight all day, and it’s really been bothering me.”\\n“I really regret that I acted like that in front of you.”\\n“I’ve been upset all night thinking about the fact that I yelled at you.”\\n4. “I was having a hard day, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”\\nAn explanation can clarify your actions.\\nRemember that while you shouldn’t try to justify yourself or be defensive, it’s a good idea to let your boyfriend know if something else was on your mind that caused you to act the way you did. Send him a message like:\\n“I’d just been dealing with my mom, and I came into our conversation already upset.”\\n“I’ve been feeling really depressed lately, but you don’t deserve to be the target.”\\n“Work has been really tough these past few days, but I should have left those feelings in the office.”\\n5. “I can see how what I said hurt you.”\\nEmpathy gives your boyfriend a chance to feel heard.\\nTry to put yourself in his shoes, and tell him that you understand how he must be feeling. Empathy is a key part of every relationship, so show him you have what it takes to make this one work. Say something like:\\n“I know it must be really hard on you to have me constantly doubting your commitment to me.”\\n“I know that you’re trying your best, and that our fight must have really bothered you.”\\n“I understand that you’re a kind and sensitive person, and so expressing myself in an angry way like that must be really difficult for you.”\\n6. “You’re so important to me.”\\nDemonstrating that you care about the relationship can save it.\\nIf you’re wondering how to apologize to your boyfriend, you probably really want this relationship to work. Showing him that it’s important to you can mean a lot to him. Send him a message like:\\n“I really love you, even if I don’t show it all the time.”\\n“You’re my best friend, and I care about you so much.”\\n“I value having you in my life more than anything.”\\n7. “I promise that this won’t happen again.”\\nMaking a plan for accountability rebuilds trust.\\nA promise that you won’t repeat the same mistakes in the future can let him know that you’re committed to change. Giving him a more specific plan to make a change can work even better, so try saying something like:\\n“I know I’ve been pretty emotionally off lately. I think it would help our relationship for me to talk to a professional, and so I’ve scheduled an appointment with a therapist.”\\n“I realize that my anger has become a problem for us. I want to make things better, so I’ve decided to start taking anger management classes.”\\n“I’ve been really irresponsible with our money. How about if we work on making a budget together?”\\n8. “Can we talk about what happened?”\\nAn apology can be a good time for open communication.\\nEvery fight can actually be a great learning opportunity for both you and your boyfriend to learn how to communicate better in the future. Invite him to open up about what’s on his mind by saying something like:\\n“I really don’t want to have a repeat of last night, so could we schedule some time to talk about how we’re feeling?”\\n“I want to learn how to communicate with you better—would you be okay with having a conversation about this tonight?”\\n“I know that feelings were really hurt the other day. I think we could process this better by having an open conversation.”\\n9. “What can I do to make it up to you?”\\nRepairing the relationship might take more than words.\\nAsking your boyfriend if there’s anything practical you can do to make up for what happened is a great way to make amends. If you know what kinds of affection your boyfriend responds to best, offer to provide it to him by saying something like:\\n“I want to show you that I care about you, so I made you this playlist that reminds me of you.”\\n“I know we just went through a rough patch—maybe I could plan a date for us so that we can spend some quality time together?”\\n“I’m really sorry for what happened, and I got you a gift that I think you might like to try and make it up to you.”\\n10. “Can we talk about this in person?”\\nThis conversation might be better face-to-face.\\nSome issues are too big to be dealt with over text, and as scary as it might be, an in-person conversation can give you both the space you need to work through what happened. Say something like:\\n“I really want to express how sorry I am to you face-to-face—can you carve out some time this weekend?”\\n“How about if we head to the park this evening? I think it would be good to talk about what happened.”\\n“Any dinner plans tomorrow? I want to get a chance to apologize to you not over text.”\\n11. “Do you think that you could forgive me?”\\nAsking for forgiveness puts the ball in your boyfriend’s court.\\nRequesting forgiveness is an important part of an apology, because it gives your boyfriend the chance to take his own feelings into account and make a decision. Say something like:\\n“I’d like to ask you for your forgiveness, if you’re ready.”\\n“I want to be able to move on from this, but I know it’s not entirely my decision.”\\n“I know I’ve really hurt you, but could you forgive me?”\\nTips\\nTry to apologize sooner rather than later. Taking too much time to apologize after you’ve made a mistake can make it harder for you and your boyfriend to see eye-to-eye.[12]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nJohn KeeganDating Coach\\nExpert Interview. 25 May 2021.\\nIf your boyfriend doesn’t forgive you, it’s sometimes best to move on. Give him some time to see if he’ll come around, but if he doesn’t, you’re not a bad person for ending the relationship.[13]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nPatti Novak WilliamsProfessional Matchmaker & Dating Coach\\nExpert Interview. 12 January 2021.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Have you hurt your boyfriend and are now regretting it? It’s okay—we’re all human, and sometimes our emotions get the better of us. All healthy relationships sometimes have moments where we slip up, and learning how to repair our relationships through apologies is an important part of mature communication. If you’re wondering how to convey your feelings over text, we’ve got you covered. We’ll walk you through this situation with our guide on how to apologize to your boyfriend over text.This article is based on an interview with our dating coach, John Keegan. Check out the full interview here.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"“I’m so sorry.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A genuine “sorry” can go a long way.\", \"描述\": \"Making amends really does start with a heartfelt expression of this simple word. It can mean a lot to your boyfriend to hear you say it. You can also say sorry over text with something like:\\n“I’m really sorry about the other night.”\\n“I can’t express to you how sorry I am about what happened.”\\n“I owe you an apology, and I’m really sorry.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"“I shouldn’t have said what I said.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Taking responsibility makes for an effective apology.\", \"描述\": \"Show your boyfriend that you’re aware that you made a mistake, and let him know that you have the self-awareness it takes to make this relationship work. Say something like:\\n“It was wrong of me to get upset at you when you were trying your best to make our night a good one.”\\n“I was completely in the wrong to have called you those names.”\\n“I shouldn’t have lost my temper—there was no reason that we couldn’t have had a calm discussion.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"“I feel terrible about what happened.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Showing remorse lets your boyfriend know how you feel.\", \"描述\": \"By letting him know that what you did has been weighing on you, you’re also letting him know that you care about him. Text him something like:\\n“I’ve been thinking about our fight all day, and it’s really been bothering me.”\\n“I really regret that I acted like that in front of you.”\\n“I’ve been upset all night thinking about the fact that I yelled at you.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"“I was having a hard day, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"An explanation can clarify your actions.\", \"描述\": \"Remember that while you shouldn’t try to justify yourself or be defensive, it’s a good idea to let your boyfriend know if something else was on your mind that caused you to act the way you did. Send him a message like:\\n“I’d just been dealing with my mom, and I came into our conversation already upset.”\\n“I’ve been feeling really depressed lately, but you don’t deserve to be the target.”\\n“Work has been really tough these past few days, but I should have left those feelings in the office.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"“I can see how what I said hurt you.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Empathy gives your boyfriend a chance to feel heard.\", \"描述\": \"Try to put yourself in his shoes, and tell him that you understand how he must be feeling. Empathy is a key part of every relationship, so show him you have what it takes to make this one work. Say something like:\\n“I know it must be really hard on you to have me constantly doubting your commitment to me.”\\n“I know that you’re trying your best, and that our fight must have really bothered you.”\\n“I understand that you’re a kind and sensitive person, and so expressing myself in an angry way like that must be really difficult for you.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"“You’re so important to me.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Demonstrating that you care about the relationship can save it.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re wondering how to apologize to your boyfriend, you probably really want this relationship to work. Showing him that it’s important to you can mean a lot to him. Send him a message like:\\n“I really love you, even if I don’t show it all the time.”\\n“You’re my best friend, and I care about you so much.”\\n“I value having you in my life more than anything.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"“I promise that this won’t happen again.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Making a plan for accountability rebuilds trust.\", \"描述\": \"A promise that you won’t repeat the same mistakes in the future can let him know that you’re committed to change. Giving him a more specific plan to make a change can work even better, so try saying something like:\\n“I know I’ve been pretty emotionally off lately. I think it would help our relationship for me to talk to a professional, and so I’ve scheduled an appointment with a therapist.”\\n“I realize that my anger has become a problem for us. I want to make things better, so I’ve decided to start taking anger management classes.”\\n“I’ve been really irresponsible with our money. How about if we work on making a budget together?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"“Can we talk about what happened?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"An apology can be a good time for open communication.\", \"描述\": \"Every fight can actually be a great learning opportunity for both you and your boyfriend to learn how to communicate better in the future. Invite him to open up about what’s on his mind by saying something like:\\n“I really don’t want to have a repeat of last night, so could we schedule some time to talk about how we’re feeling?”\\n“I want to learn how to communicate with you better—would you be okay with having a conversation about this tonight?”\\n“I know that feelings were really hurt the other day. I think we could process this better by having an open conversation.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"“What can I do to make it up to you?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Repairing the relationship might take more than words.\", \"描述\": \"Asking your boyfriend if there’s anything practical you can do to make up for what happened is a great way to make amends. If you know what kinds of affection your boyfriend responds to best, offer to provide it to him by saying something like:\\n“I want to show you that I care about you, so I made you this playlist that reminds me of you.”\\n“I know we just went through a rough patch—maybe I could plan a date for us so that we can spend some quality time together?”\\n“I’m really sorry for what happened, and I got you a gift that I think you might like to try and make it up to you.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"“Can we talk about this in person?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This conversation might be better face-to-face.\", \"描述\": \"Some issues are too big to be dealt with over text, and as scary as it might be, an in-person conversation can give you both the space you need to work through what happened. Say something like:\\n“I really want to express how sorry I am to you face-to-face—can you carve out some time this weekend?”\\n“How about if we head to the park this evening? I think it would be good to talk about what happened.”\\n“Any dinner plans tomorrow? I want to get a chance to apologize to you not over text.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"“Do you think that you could forgive me?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Asking for forgiveness puts the ball in your boyfriend’s court.\", \"描述\": \"Requesting forgiveness is an important part of an apology, because it gives your boyfriend the chance to take his own feelings into account and make a decision. Say something like:\\n“I’d like to ask you for your forgiveness, if you’re ready.”\\n“I want to be able to move on from this, but I know it’s not entirely my decision.”\\n“I know I’ve really hurt you, but could you forgive me?”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Try to apologize sooner rather than later. Taking too much time to apologize after you’ve made a mistake can make it harder for you and your boyfriend to see eye-to-eye.[12]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nJohn KeeganDating Coach\\nExpert Interview. 25 May 2021.\\n\", \"If your boyfriend doesn’t forgive you, it’s sometimes best to move on. Give him some time to see if he’ll come around, but if he doesn’t, you’re not a bad person for ending the relationship.[13]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nPatti Novak WilliamsProfessional Matchmaker & Dating Coach\\nExpert Interview. 12 January 2021.\\n\"]}]}}",
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1,776 | How to Apologize | 1. Preparing Your Apology
1-1. Own your mistake.
Words aren’t enough. You need to understand what you’re apologizing for and really mean your words. Expressing regret and guilt is the key to a genuine apology, but how would you do so if you don’t know what you’re apologizing for? Spend some time over-reflecting how your words or actions would’ve hurt the other person.
Once you’ve realized your mistake, take responsibility for your actions. Do not try to be defensive or give excuses. Sincerely apologize and explain your intentions, not justify your behavior.
In case you are not aware of what you did wrong, simply ask the person in a friendly manner.
Instead of: “Why are you mad now?”
Try this: “You seem to be upset with me. Did I do something to cause that?”
1-2. Give up the idea of being “right.”
Arguing about the details of an experience that involves more than one person is usually frustrating because the experience is highly subjective. How we experience and interpret situations is unique to us, and two people may experience the same situation very differently. An apology needs to acknowledge the truth of the other person’s feelings, regardless of whether you think they’re “right” or not.
For example, imagine that you went out to the movies without your partner. Your partner felt left out and hurt. Instead of arguing about whether they are “right” to feel this way or whether you were “right” to go out, acknowledge that they felt hurt in your apology.
1-3. Use “I”-statements.
One of the most common mistakes of apologizing is using “you” instead of “I” statements. When you apologize, you must accept responsibility for your actions. Don’t push responsibility for the offense off on to the other person. Keep the focus on what you did, and avoid sounding like you’re blaming the other person.
For example, a very common but ineffective way of apologizing is to say something like, “I’m sorry your feelings were hurt” or “I’m sorry you got so upset.” An apology does not need to apologize for the other person’s feelings. It needs to acknowledge your responsibility. These types of statements don’t -- they push the responsibility back onto the person who was hurt.
Instead, keep the focus on you. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings” or “I’m sorry that my actions upset you” express responsibility for the hurt you caused, and don’t come across as blaming the other person. This can be challenging when we put our defensive caps on - “I wouldn’t have done it if you….” Blaming often takes away the part of owning the mistake.
1-4. Avoid justifying your actions.
It’s natural to want to justify your actions when explaining them to another person. However, presenting justifications will often negate the meaning of an apology, because the other person may perceive the apology as insincere.
Justifications may include claims that the person you hurt misunderstood you, such as “you took it the wrong way.” They may also include denial of injury, such as “it wasn’t really that bad,” or a sad tale, such as “I’ve been damaged so I couldn’t help it.”
1-5. Use excuses cautiously.
An apology may express that your offense was not intentional or aimed at harming the person. This can be helpful in reassuring the person that you care about them and did not mean to cause harm. However, you must be careful that your reasons for your behavior don’t slip into justifying away the harm you did.
Examples of excuses might include denying your intent, such as “I didn’t mean to hurt you” or “It was an accident.” Excuses may also include denial of volition, such as “I was drunk and didn’t know what I was saying.” Use these types of statements carefully, and make sure that you always acknowledge the hurt you did first before following it with any reasons for your behavior.
The person who was hurt is more likely to forgive you if you offer excuses rather than justifications. They are even more likely to forgive you if you offer excuses in combination with accepting responsibility, acknowledging the hurt, recognizing the proper behavior, and ensuring proper behavior in the future.
1-6. Avoid the “but.”
An apology that includes the word “but” will almost never be understood as an apology. This is because “but” is what’s known as a “verbal eraser.” it shifts the focus from what should be the point of the apology -- acknowledging responsibility and expressing regret -- to justifying yourself. When people hear the word “but,” they tend to stop listening. All they hear from that point is “but this was really all your fault.”
For example, don’t say something like, “I’m sorry, but I was just tired.” This emphasizes your excuse for the offense, rather than focusing on your regret for hurting the other person.
Instead, say something like, “I’m sorry I snapped at you. I know that hurt your feelings. I was tired, and I said something I regret..”
1-7. Consider the other person’s needs and personality.
Studies suggest that “self-construal” affects how the other person accepts your apology. In other words, the way the other person sees him- or herself in relation to you and to others affects what type of apology will be most effective.
For example, some people are highly independent and value things such as entitlements and rights. These people are more likely to be receptive to an apology that offers a specific remedy for a hurt.
For people who highly value their close personal relationships with others, they may be more likely to be receptive to an apology that expresses empathy and regret.
Some people highly value social rules and norms and imagine themselves as part of a larger social group. People like this may be most likely to be receptive to an apology that acknowledges that values or rules were violated.
If you don’t know the person very well, aim to incorporate a little bit of everything. These apologies are more likely to acknowledge what is most important to the person you’re apologizing to.
1-8. Ask for forgiveness.
When you ask for forgiveness, it shows that you’re allowing the other person to react and respond. It shows that you’re not automatically assuming that it's all forgiven and forgotten.
Remember, forgiveness isn’t guaranteed no matter how true the apology is. It is to be earned by regaining trust and apologizing in a healthy way is a big start!
1-9. Show empathy.
Try to understand how your actions hurt them and accept your mistake, even if you did not do it. For example: I know I hurt you, or I understand how upsetting that would’ve been.
Also remember, that apologizing isn’t an instant fix. It is just the first stage. Be open to feedback and be mindful of those actions from time after.
1-10. Write your apology down, if you like.
If you're having a hard time mustering the words for an apology, consider writing your feelings down. This will help you make sure that you express the wording and feelings just right. Take your time and sort out exactly why you feel compelled to apologize, and what you'll do to ensure the mistake won't happen again.
If you worry that you will become very emotional, you can bring your notes with you. The other person may even appreciate that you took such care to prepare the apology.
If you’re concerned you will mess up your apology, consider working it through with a close friend. You don’t want to practice so much that your apology seems forced or over-rehearsed. However, it may be helpful for you to practice your apology with someone and get their feedback about it.
2. Apologizing at the Right Time and Place
2-1. Find the right time.
Even if you immediately regret something, an apology may not be effective if it comes in the middle of a highly emotional situation. For example, if you are still in the middle of an argument, your apology may not be effective. This is because it is very hard to meaningfully listen to others when we’re overcome with negative emotions. Wait until you have both cooled off before making your apology.
Additionally, if you apologize while your emotions are rushing, you may have trouble conveying sincerity. Waiting until you have collected yourself will help you say what you mean to say and make sure that your apology is meaningful and complete. Just don’t wait too long. Waiting days or weeks to apologize can do damage too.
In professional settings, it’s a good idea to make your apology as soon after the mistake as possible. This will help avoid interrupting the flow of work in your workplace.
2-2. Do it in person.
It’s much easier to convey sincerity when you make your apology in person. Much of our communication is nonverbal, through things such as body language, facial expressions, and gestures. Whenever possible, apologize in person.
When you apologize in person, your gestures and expressions help reveal how much you regret and how truly sorry you are.
Apologizing via text might add on to further unnecessary misunderstandings.
If apologizing in person isn't an option, use the telephone. The tone of your voice will help communicate that you're sincere.
2-3. Choose a quiet or private setting for the apology.
Apologizing is often a very personal act. Finding a quiet, private place to apologize will help you focus on the other person and avoid distractions.
Choose a space that feels relaxing, and make sure you have enough time to not feel rushed.
2-4. Make sure you have enough time to have a complete conversation.
Rushed apologies are often ineffective. This is because an apology must perform several tasks. You must fully acknowledge your offense, explain what happened, express your regret, and show that you will do differently in the future.
You should also choose a time when you will not feel rushed or stressed. If you’re thinking about everything else you still have to do, your focus will not be on the apology, and the other person will feel that distance.
2-5. Be ready to apologize multiple times, but don’t overdo it.
There is no one way to apologize. You may have to try multiple times in different ways to apologize, depending on your relationship and how they’ve been hurt. However, this does not mean that you go on apologizing forever or make grand gestures that make it embarrassing for them. Remember, the apology is for them, not you.
You can’t force someone’s forgiveness. If they’re firm they do not want to engage any further, move on.
3. Making Your Apology
3-1. Be open and non-threatening.
This type of communication is called “integrative communication” and involves discussing issues openly and in a non-threatening way to reach mutual understanding, or “integration.” Integrative techniques have been shown to have long-term positive effects on relationships.
For example, if the person you hurt tries to bring up a pattern of past behavior that they believe is related to your mistake, allow him/her to finish. Pause before you respond. Consider the person’s statements, and try to see the situation from the other person’s perspective, even if you disagree. Don’t lash out, yell, or insult the other person.
3-2. Use open, humble body language.
The nonverbal communication you give while apologizing is just as important as what you say, if not more so. Avoid hunching or slouching, as this could indicate that you are closed to the conversation.
Make eye contact while speaking and listening. Aim for at least 50% of the time while you are speaking, and at least 70% of the time while you are listening.
Avoid crossing your arms. This is a sign that you feel defensive and are closed to the other person.
Try to keep your face relaxed. You don’t have to force a smile, but if you feel a sour expression or grimace on your face, take a moment to relax those muscles.
Use open palms rather than closed hands if you want to gesture.
If the person is close to you and it’s appropriate, use touch to convey your emotions. A hug, or a gentle touch on the arm or hand, can communicate how much the other person means to you.
3-3. State your regret.
Express your empathy toward the other person. Acknowledge the hurt or damage that you did. Acknowledge the other person’s feelings as real and valued.
Studies have shown that when apologies appear to be motivated by feelings of guilt or shame, they are more likely to be accepted by the hurt person. In contrast, apologies motivated by pity are less likely to be accepted, because they seem less sincere.
For example, you could begin an apology by saying “I deeply regret hurting your feelings yesterday. I feel terrible about causing you pain.”
3-4. Accept responsibility.
Be as specific as possible when you accept responsibility. Specific apologies are more likely to be meaningful to the other person, because they show that you have paid attention to the situation that hurt him/her.
Try to avoid overgeneralizing. Saying something like “I’m a terrible person” is not true, and it isn’t attentive to the specific behavior or situation that caused the hurt. Overgeneralizing makes addressing the issue seem impossible; you can’t fix being a “terrible person” as easily as you can fix “not paying attention to someone else’s needs.”
For example, continue the apology by stating what, specifically, caused the hurt. “I deeply regret hurting your feelings yesterday. I feel terrible about causing you pain. I should never have snapped at you for picking me up late.”
3-5. State how you will remedy the situation.
Apologies are likely to be most successful if you offer a suggestion about how you will do things differently in the future, or repair the hurt in some way.
Find the underlying problem, describe it to the person without pointing fingers at anyone else, and tell him or her what you intend to do to solve that problem so that you can avoid the mistake in the future.
For example, “I deeply regret hurting your feelings yesterday. I feel terrible about causing you pain. I should never have snapped at you for picking me up late. In the future, I will stop to think more carefully before I say things.”
3-6. Listen to the other person.
The other person may want to express their feelings to you. S/he may still be upset. They may have more questions for you. Do your best to stay calm and open.
If the other person is still upset with you, s/he may react in an unfavorable way. If the person yells or insults you, these negative feelings may prevent forgiveness from occurring. Either take a timeout or try to redirect the conversation to a more productive topic.
To take a timeout, express your empathy for the other person and offer them the choice. Try to avoid seeming like you’re blaming the other person. For example, “I clearly hurt you, and it seems like you’re upset right now. Would it be helpful to take a brief timeout? I want to understand where you are coming from, but I want you to feel comfortable.”
To redirect the conversation from negativity, try to learn specific behaviors that the other person wishes you had done instead of what you actually did. For example, if the other person says something like “You just never respect me!” you could respond by asking “What would help you feel that respect in the future?” or “What do you hope I would do differently next time?”
3-7. Tell them how you’ll change.
Let them know how you’ll change and what you’d do to make that possible. For instance, if you’ve been late once again, instead of just apologizing, share how you’d keep an early alarm to be more punctual!
A true apology is one where you acknowledge your mistakes and assure that it won’t be repeated again.
3-8. End with gratitude.
Express your appreciation for the role that they play in your life, emphasizing that you do not want to jeopardize or damage the relationship. This is the time to briefly recount what has created and sustained the bond over time and tell loved ones that they are indeed loved. Describe what your life would be missing without their trust and their company.
3-9. Be patient
If an apology is not accepted, thank the other person for hearing you out and leave the door open in case they want to talk about it later. For example, "I understand you're still upset about it, but thank you for giving me the chance to apologize. If you ever change your mind, please give me a call." Sometimes people want to forgive you, but they still need a little time to cool off.
Remember, just because someone accepts your apology doesn't mean they've fully forgiven you. It can take time, maybe a long time, before the other person can completely let go and fully trust you again. There is little you can do to speed this process up, but there are endless ways to bog it down. If the person is truly important to you, it's worth it to give them the time and space they need to heal. Don't expect them to go right back to acting normally immediately.
3-10. Stick to your word.
A true apology includes a solution, or expresses that you are willing to fix the problem. You promised to work towards solving the problem, and you have to carry out your promise in order for the apology to be sincere and complete. Otherwise, your apologies will lose their meaning, and trust may disappear beyond the point of no return.
Check in with the other person occasionally. For example, after a few weeks or so have gone by, you could ask “I heard how my behavior a few weeks ago hurt you, and I’m really working to do better. How am I doing?”
Tips
If the person is willing to talk to you about making amends, see this as an opportunity. If you've forgotten your spouse's birthday or your anniversary, for instance, you might decide to celebrate another night and make it extra wonderful and romantic. This doesn't mean you can forget again, but it shows you are willing to put in the effort to change for the better.
Let the other person cool off first, the teacup (once stirred) will need some time to slow. Also, the person will still be quite upset so they may not be ready to forgive.
After you have apologized, take some time to yourself and try to think of a better way that you could have handled the situation. Remember, part of an apology is committing to becoming a better person. That way, the next time a similar situation arises you will be ready to handle it in a way that does not hurt anybody's feelings.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing Your Apology\\n1-1. Own your mistake.\\nWords aren’t enough. You need to understand what you’re apologizing for and really mean your words. Expressing regret and guilt is the key to a genuine apology, but how would you do so if you don’t know what you’re apologizing for? Spend some time over-reflecting how your words or actions would’ve hurt the other person.\\nOnce you’ve realized your mistake, take responsibility for your actions. Do not try to be defensive or give excuses. Sincerely apologize and explain your intentions, not justify your behavior.\\nIn case you are not aware of what you did wrong, simply ask the person in a friendly manner.\\nInstead of: “Why are you mad now?”\\nTry this: “You seem to be upset with me. Did I do something to cause that?”\\n1-2. Give up the idea of being “right.”\\nArguing about the details of an experience that involves more than one person is usually frustrating because the experience is highly subjective. How we experience and interpret situations is unique to us, and two people may experience the same situation very differently. An apology needs to acknowledge the truth of the other person’s feelings, regardless of whether you think they’re “right” or not.\\nFor example, imagine that you went out to the movies without your partner. Your partner felt left out and hurt. Instead of arguing about whether they are “right” to feel this way or whether you were “right” to go out, acknowledge that they felt hurt in your apology.\\n1-3. Use “I”-statements.\\nOne of the most common mistakes of apologizing is using “you” instead of “I” statements. When you apologize, you must accept responsibility for your actions. Don’t push responsibility for the offense off on to the other person. Keep the focus on what you did, and avoid sounding like you’re blaming the other person. \\nFor example, a very common but ineffective way of apologizing is to say something like, “I’m sorry your feelings were hurt” or “I’m sorry you got so upset.” An apology does not need to apologize for the other person’s feelings. It needs to acknowledge your responsibility. These types of statements don’t -- they push the responsibility back onto the person who was hurt.\\nInstead, keep the focus on you. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings” or “I’m sorry that my actions upset you” express responsibility for the hurt you caused, and don’t come across as blaming the other person. This can be challenging when we put our defensive caps on - “I wouldn’t have done it if you….” Blaming often takes away the part of owning the mistake.\\n1-4. Avoid justifying your actions.\\nIt’s natural to want to justify your actions when explaining them to another person. However, presenting justifications will often negate the meaning of an apology, because the other person may perceive the apology as insincere.\\nJustifications may include claims that the person you hurt misunderstood you, such as “you took it the wrong way.” They may also include denial of injury, such as “it wasn’t really that bad,” or a sad tale, such as “I’ve been damaged so I couldn’t help it.”\\n1-5. Use excuses cautiously.\\nAn apology may express that your offense was not intentional or aimed at harming the person. This can be helpful in reassuring the person that you care about them and did not mean to cause harm. However, you must be careful that your reasons for your behavior don’t slip into justifying away the harm you did.\\nExamples of excuses might include denying your intent, such as “I didn’t mean to hurt you” or “It was an accident.” Excuses may also include denial of volition, such as “I was drunk and didn’t know what I was saying.” Use these types of statements carefully, and make sure that you always acknowledge the hurt you did first before following it with any reasons for your behavior.\\nThe person who was hurt is more likely to forgive you if you offer excuses rather than justifications. They are even more likely to forgive you if you offer excuses in combination with accepting responsibility, acknowledging the hurt, recognizing the proper behavior, and ensuring proper behavior in the future.\\n1-6. Avoid the “but.”\\nAn apology that includes the word “but” will almost never be understood as an apology. This is because “but” is what’s known as a “verbal eraser.” it shifts the focus from what should be the point of the apology -- acknowledging responsibility and expressing regret -- to justifying yourself. When people hear the word “but,” they tend to stop listening. All they hear from that point is “but this was really all your fault.”\\nFor example, don’t say something like, “I’m sorry, but I was just tired.” This emphasizes your excuse for the offense, rather than focusing on your regret for hurting the other person.\\nInstead, say something like, “I’m sorry I snapped at you. I know that hurt your feelings. I was tired, and I said something I regret..”\\n1-7. Consider the other person’s needs and personality.\\nStudies suggest that “self-construal” affects how the other person accepts your apology. In other words, the way the other person sees him- or herself in relation to you and to others affects what type of apology will be most effective.\\nFor example, some people are highly independent and value things such as entitlements and rights. These people are more likely to be receptive to an apology that offers a specific remedy for a hurt.\\nFor people who highly value their close personal relationships with others, they may be more likely to be receptive to an apology that expresses empathy and regret.\\nSome people highly value social rules and norms and imagine themselves as part of a larger social group. People like this may be most likely to be receptive to an apology that acknowledges that values or rules were violated.\\nIf you don’t know the person very well, aim to incorporate a little bit of everything. These apologies are more likely to acknowledge what is most important to the person you’re apologizing to.\\n1-8. Ask for forgiveness.\\nWhen you ask for forgiveness, it shows that you’re allowing the other person to react and respond. It shows that you’re not automatically assuming that it's all forgiven and forgotten.\\nRemember, forgiveness isn’t guaranteed no matter how true the apology is. It is to be earned by regaining trust and apologizing in a healthy way is a big start!\\n1-9. Show empathy.\\nTry to understand how your actions hurt them and accept your mistake, even if you did not do it. For example: I know I hurt you, or I understand how upsetting that would’ve been.\\nAlso remember, that apologizing isn’t an instant fix. It is just the first stage. Be open to feedback and be mindful of those actions from time after.\\n1-10. Write your apology down, if you like.\\nIf you're having a hard time mustering the words for an apology, consider writing your feelings down. This will help you make sure that you express the wording and feelings just right. Take your time and sort out exactly why you feel compelled to apologize, and what you'll do to ensure the mistake won't happen again.\\nIf you worry that you will become very emotional, you can bring your notes with you. The other person may even appreciate that you took such care to prepare the apology.\\nIf you’re concerned you will mess up your apology, consider working it through with a close friend. You don’t want to practice so much that your apology seems forced or over-rehearsed. However, it may be helpful for you to practice your apology with someone and get their feedback about it.\\n2. Apologizing at the Right Time and Place\\n2-1. Find the right time.\\nEven if you immediately regret something, an apology may not be effective if it comes in the middle of a highly emotional situation. For example, if you are still in the middle of an argument, your apology may not be effective. This is because it is very hard to meaningfully listen to others when we’re overcome with negative emotions. Wait until you have both cooled off before making your apology.\\nAdditionally, if you apologize while your emotions are rushing, you may have trouble conveying sincerity. Waiting until you have collected yourself will help you say what you mean to say and make sure that your apology is meaningful and complete. Just don’t wait too long. Waiting days or weeks to apologize can do damage too.\\nIn professional settings, it’s a good idea to make your apology as soon after the mistake as possible. This will help avoid interrupting the flow of work in your workplace.\\n2-2. Do it in person.\\nIt’s much easier to convey sincerity when you make your apology in person. Much of our communication is nonverbal, through things such as body language, facial expressions, and gestures. Whenever possible, apologize in person.\\nWhen you apologize in person, your gestures and expressions help reveal how much you regret and how truly sorry you are.\\nApologizing via text might add on to further unnecessary misunderstandings.\\nIf apologizing in person isn't an option, use the telephone. The tone of your voice will help communicate that you're sincere.\\n2-3. Choose a quiet or private setting for the apology.\\nApologizing is often a very personal act. Finding a quiet, private place to apologize will help you focus on the other person and avoid distractions.\\nChoose a space that feels relaxing, and make sure you have enough time to not feel rushed.\\n2-4. Make sure you have enough time to have a complete conversation.\\nRushed apologies are often ineffective. This is because an apology must perform several tasks. You must fully acknowledge your offense, explain what happened, express your regret, and show that you will do differently in the future.\\nYou should also choose a time when you will not feel rushed or stressed. If you’re thinking about everything else you still have to do, your focus will not be on the apology, and the other person will feel that distance.\\n2-5. Be ready to apologize multiple times, but don’t overdo it.\\nThere is no one way to apologize. You may have to try multiple times in different ways to apologize, depending on your relationship and how they’ve been hurt. However, this does not mean that you go on apologizing forever or make grand gestures that make it embarrassing for them. Remember, the apology is for them, not you.\\nYou can’t force someone’s forgiveness. If they’re firm they do not want to engage any further, move on.\\n3. Making Your Apology\\n3-1. Be open and non-threatening.\\nThis type of communication is called “integrative communication” and involves discussing issues openly and in a non-threatening way to reach mutual understanding, or “integration.” Integrative techniques have been shown to have long-term positive effects on relationships.\\nFor example, if the person you hurt tries to bring up a pattern of past behavior that they believe is related to your mistake, allow him/her to finish. Pause before you respond. Consider the person’s statements, and try to see the situation from the other person’s perspective, even if you disagree. Don’t lash out, yell, or insult the other person.\\n3-2. Use open, humble body language.\\nThe nonverbal communication you give while apologizing is just as important as what you say, if not more so. Avoid hunching or slouching, as this could indicate that you are closed to the conversation.\\nMake eye contact while speaking and listening. Aim for at least 50% of the time while you are speaking, and at least 70% of the time while you are listening.\\nAvoid crossing your arms. This is a sign that you feel defensive and are closed to the other person.\\nTry to keep your face relaxed. You don’t have to force a smile, but if you feel a sour expression or grimace on your face, take a moment to relax those muscles.\\nUse open palms rather than closed hands if you want to gesture.\\nIf the person is close to you and it’s appropriate, use touch to convey your emotions. A hug, or a gentle touch on the arm or hand, can communicate how much the other person means to you.\\n3-3. State your regret.\\nExpress your empathy toward the other person. Acknowledge the hurt or damage that you did. Acknowledge the other person’s feelings as real and valued.\\nStudies have shown that when apologies appear to be motivated by feelings of guilt or shame, they are more likely to be accepted by the hurt person. In contrast, apologies motivated by pity are less likely to be accepted, because they seem less sincere.\\nFor example, you could begin an apology by saying “I deeply regret hurting your feelings yesterday. I feel terrible about causing you pain.”\\n3-4. Accept responsibility.\\nBe as specific as possible when you accept responsibility. Specific apologies are more likely to be meaningful to the other person, because they show that you have paid attention to the situation that hurt him/her.\\nTry to avoid overgeneralizing. Saying something like “I’m a terrible person” is not true, and it isn’t attentive to the specific behavior or situation that caused the hurt. Overgeneralizing makes addressing the issue seem impossible; you can’t fix being a “terrible person” as easily as you can fix “not paying attention to someone else’s needs.”\\nFor example, continue the apology by stating what, specifically, caused the hurt. “I deeply regret hurting your feelings yesterday. I feel terrible about causing you pain. I should never have snapped at you for picking me up late.”\\n3-5. State how you will remedy the situation.\\nApologies are likely to be most successful if you offer a suggestion about how you will do things differently in the future, or repair the hurt in some way.\\nFind the underlying problem, describe it to the person without pointing fingers at anyone else, and tell him or her what you intend to do to solve that problem so that you can avoid the mistake in the future.\\nFor example, “I deeply regret hurting your feelings yesterday. I feel terrible about causing you pain. I should never have snapped at you for picking me up late. In the future, I will stop to think more carefully before I say things.”\\n3-6. Listen to the other person.\\nThe other person may want to express their feelings to you. S/he may still be upset. They may have more questions for you. Do your best to stay calm and open.\\nIf the other person is still upset with you, s/he may react in an unfavorable way. If the person yells or insults you, these negative feelings may prevent forgiveness from occurring. Either take a timeout or try to redirect the conversation to a more productive topic.\\nTo take a timeout, express your empathy for the other person and offer them the choice. Try to avoid seeming like you’re blaming the other person. For example, “I clearly hurt you, and it seems like you’re upset right now. Would it be helpful to take a brief timeout? I want to understand where you are coming from, but I want you to feel comfortable.”\\nTo redirect the conversation from negativity, try to learn specific behaviors that the other person wishes you had done instead of what you actually did. For example, if the other person says something like “You just never respect me!” you could respond by asking “What would help you feel that respect in the future?” or “What do you hope I would do differently next time?”\\n3-7. Tell them how you’ll change.\\nLet them know how you’ll change and what you’d do to make that possible. For instance, if you’ve been late once again, instead of just apologizing, share how you’d keep an early alarm to be more punctual!\\nA true apology is one where you acknowledge your mistakes and assure that it won’t be repeated again.\\n3-8. End with gratitude.\\nExpress your appreciation for the role that they play in your life, emphasizing that you do not want to jeopardize or damage the relationship. This is the time to briefly recount what has created and sustained the bond over time and tell loved ones that they are indeed loved. Describe what your life would be missing without their trust and their company.\\n3-9. Be patient\\nIf an apology is not accepted, thank the other person for hearing you out and leave the door open in case they want to talk about it later. For example, \\\"I understand you're still upset about it, but thank you for giving me the chance to apologize. If you ever change your mind, please give me a call.\\\" Sometimes people want to forgive you, but they still need a little time to cool off.\\nRemember, just because someone accepts your apology doesn't mean they've fully forgiven you. It can take time, maybe a long time, before the other person can completely let go and fully trust you again. There is little you can do to speed this process up, but there are endless ways to bog it down. If the person is truly important to you, it's worth it to give them the time and space they need to heal. Don't expect them to go right back to acting normally immediately.\\n3-10. Stick to your word.\\nA true apology includes a solution, or expresses that you are willing to fix the problem. You promised to work towards solving the problem, and you have to carry out your promise in order for the apology to be sincere and complete. Otherwise, your apologies will lose their meaning, and trust may disappear beyond the point of no return.\\nCheck in with the other person occasionally. For example, after a few weeks or so have gone by, you could ask “I heard how my behavior a few weeks ago hurt you, and I’m really working to do better. How am I doing?”\\nTips\\nIf the person is willing to talk to you about making amends, see this as an opportunity. If you've forgotten your spouse's birthday or your anniversary, for instance, you might decide to celebrate another night and make it extra wonderful and romantic. This doesn't mean you can forget again, but it shows you are willing to put in the effort to change for the better.\\nLet the other person cool off first, the teacup (once stirred) will need some time to slow. Also, the person will still be quite upset so they may not be ready to forgive.\\nAfter you have apologized, take some time to yourself and try to think of a better way that you could have handled the situation. Remember, part of an apology is committing to becoming a better person. That way, the next time a similar situation arises you will be ready to handle it in a way that does not hurt anybody's feelings.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"An apology is an expression of remorse for something you've done wrong, and serves as a way to repair a relationship after that wrongdoing. Forgiveness occurs when the person who was hurt is motivated to repair the relationship with the person who inflicted the hurt. A good apology will communicate three things: regret, responsibility, and remedy. Apologizing for a mistake might seem difficult, but it will help you repair and improve your relationships with others.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing Your Apology\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Own your mistake.\", \"描述\": \"Words aren’t enough. You need to understand what you’re apologizing for and really mean your words. Expressing regret and guilt is the key to a genuine apology, but how would you do so if you don’t know what you’re apologizing for? Spend some time over-reflecting how your words or actions would’ve hurt the other person.\\nOnce you’ve realized your mistake, take responsibility for your actions. Do not try to be defensive or give excuses. Sincerely apologize and explain your intentions, not justify your behavior.\\nIn case you are not aware of what you did wrong, simply ask the person in a friendly manner.\\nInstead of: “Why are you mad now?”\\nTry this: “You seem to be upset with me. Did I do something to cause that?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Give up the idea of being “right.”\", \"描述\": \"Arguing about the details of an experience that involves more than one person is usually frustrating because the experience is highly subjective. How we experience and interpret situations is unique to us, and two people may experience the same situation very differently. An apology needs to acknowledge the truth of the other person’s feelings, regardless of whether you think they’re “right” or not.\\nFor example, imagine that you went out to the movies without your partner. Your partner felt left out and hurt. Instead of arguing about whether they are “right” to feel this way or whether you were “right” to go out, acknowledge that they felt hurt in your apology.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use “I”-statements.\", \"描述\": \"One of the most common mistakes of apologizing is using “you” instead of “I” statements. When you apologize, you must accept responsibility for your actions. Don’t push responsibility for the offense off on to the other person. Keep the focus on what you did, and avoid sounding like you’re blaming the other person. \\nFor example, a very common but ineffective way of apologizing is to say something like, “I’m sorry your feelings were hurt” or “I’m sorry you got so upset.” An apology does not need to apologize for the other person’s feelings. It needs to acknowledge your responsibility. These types of statements don’t -- they push the responsibility back onto the person who was hurt.\\nInstead, keep the focus on you. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings” or “I’m sorry that my actions upset you” express responsibility for the hurt you caused, and don’t come across as blaming the other person. This can be challenging when we put our defensive caps on - “I wouldn’t have done it if you….” Blaming often takes away the part of owning the mistake.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid justifying your actions.\", \"描述\": \"It’s natural to want to justify your actions when explaining them to another person. However, presenting justifications will often negate the meaning of an apology, because the other person may perceive the apology as insincere.\\nJustifications may include claims that the person you hurt misunderstood you, such as “you took it the wrong way.” They may also include denial of injury, such as “it wasn’t really that bad,” or a sad tale, such as “I’ve been damaged so I couldn’t help it.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use excuses cautiously.\", \"描述\": \"An apology may express that your offense was not intentional or aimed at harming the person. This can be helpful in reassuring the person that you care about them and did not mean to cause harm. However, you must be careful that your reasons for your behavior don’t slip into justifying away the harm you did.\\nExamples of excuses might include denying your intent, such as “I didn’t mean to hurt you” or “It was an accident.” Excuses may also include denial of volition, such as “I was drunk and didn’t know what I was saying.” Use these types of statements carefully, and make sure that you always acknowledge the hurt you did first before following it with any reasons for your behavior.\\nThe person who was hurt is more likely to forgive you if you offer excuses rather than justifications. They are even more likely to forgive you if you offer excuses in combination with accepting responsibility, acknowledging the hurt, recognizing the proper behavior, and ensuring proper behavior in the future.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Avoid the “but.”\", \"描述\": \"An apology that includes the word “but” will almost never be understood as an apology. This is because “but” is what’s known as a “verbal eraser.” it shifts the focus from what should be the point of the apology -- acknowledging responsibility and expressing regret -- to justifying yourself. When people hear the word “but,” they tend to stop listening. All they hear from that point is “but this was really all your fault.”\\nFor example, don’t say something like, “I’m sorry, but I was just tired.” This emphasizes your excuse for the offense, rather than focusing on your regret for hurting the other person.\\nInstead, say something like, “I’m sorry I snapped at you. I know that hurt your feelings. I was tired, and I said something I regret..”\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Consider the other person’s needs and personality.\", \"描述\": \"Studies suggest that “self-construal” affects how the other person accepts your apology. In other words, the way the other person sees him- or herself in relation to you and to others affects what type of apology will be most effective.\\nFor example, some people are highly independent and value things such as entitlements and rights. These people are more likely to be receptive to an apology that offers a specific remedy for a hurt.\\nFor people who highly value their close personal relationships with others, they may be more likely to be receptive to an apology that expresses empathy and regret.\\nSome people highly value social rules and norms and imagine themselves as part of a larger social group. People like this may be most likely to be receptive to an apology that acknowledges that values or rules were violated.\\nIf you don’t know the person very well, aim to incorporate a little bit of everything. These apologies are more likely to acknowledge what is most important to the person you’re apologizing to.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Ask for forgiveness.\", \"描述\": \"When you ask for forgiveness, it shows that you’re allowing the other person to react and respond. It shows that you’re not automatically assuming that it's all forgiven and forgotten.\\nRemember, forgiveness isn’t guaranteed no matter how true the apology is. It is to be earned by regaining trust and apologizing in a healthy way is a big start!\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Show empathy.\", \"描述\": \"Try to understand how your actions hurt them and accept your mistake, even if you did not do it. For example: I know I hurt you, or I understand how upsetting that would’ve been.\\nAlso remember, that apologizing isn’t an instant fix. It is just the first stage. Be open to feedback and be mindful of those actions from time after.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Write your apology down, if you like.\", \"描述\": \"If you're having a hard time mustering the words for an apology, consider writing your feelings down. This will help you make sure that you express the wording and feelings just right. Take your time and sort out exactly why you feel compelled to apologize, and what you'll do to ensure the mistake won't happen again.\\nIf you worry that you will become very emotional, you can bring your notes with you. The other person may even appreciate that you took such care to prepare the apology.\\nIf you’re concerned you will mess up your apology, consider working it through with a close friend. You don’t want to practice so much that your apology seems forced or over-rehearsed. However, it may be helpful for you to practice your apology with someone and get their feedback about it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Apologizing at the Right Time and Place\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find the right time.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you immediately regret something, an apology may not be effective if it comes in the middle of a highly emotional situation. For example, if you are still in the middle of an argument, your apology may not be effective. This is because it is very hard to meaningfully listen to others when we’re overcome with negative emotions. Wait until you have both cooled off before making your apology.\\nAdditionally, if you apologize while your emotions are rushing, you may have trouble conveying sincerity. Waiting until you have collected yourself will help you say what you mean to say and make sure that your apology is meaningful and complete. Just don’t wait too long. Waiting days or weeks to apologize can do damage too.\\nIn professional settings, it’s a good idea to make your apology as soon after the mistake as possible. This will help avoid interrupting the flow of work in your workplace.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do it in person.\", \"描述\": \"It’s much easier to convey sincerity when you make your apology in person. Much of our communication is nonverbal, through things such as body language, facial expressions, and gestures. Whenever possible, apologize in person.\\nWhen you apologize in person, your gestures and expressions help reveal how much you regret and how truly sorry you are.\\nApologizing via text might add on to further unnecessary misunderstandings.\\nIf apologizing in person isn't an option, use the telephone. The tone of your voice will help communicate that you're sincere.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Choose a quiet or private setting for the apology.\", \"描述\": \"Apologizing is often a very personal act. Finding a quiet, private place to apologize will help you focus on the other person and avoid distractions.\\nChoose a space that feels relaxing, and make sure you have enough time to not feel rushed.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make sure you have enough time to have a complete conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Rushed apologies are often ineffective. This is because an apology must perform several tasks. You must fully acknowledge your offense, explain what happened, express your regret, and show that you will do differently in the future.\\nYou should also choose a time when you will not feel rushed or stressed. If you’re thinking about everything else you still have to do, your focus will not be on the apology, and the other person will feel that distance.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be ready to apologize multiple times, but don’t overdo it.\", \"描述\": \"There is no one way to apologize. You may have to try multiple times in different ways to apologize, depending on your relationship and how they’ve been hurt. However, this does not mean that you go on apologizing forever or make grand gestures that make it embarrassing for them. Remember, the apology is for them, not you.\\nYou can’t force someone’s forgiveness. If they’re firm they do not want to engage any further, move on.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Making Your Apology\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be open and non-threatening.\", \"描述\": \"This type of communication is called “integrative communication” and involves discussing issues openly and in a non-threatening way to reach mutual understanding, or “integration.” Integrative techniques have been shown to have long-term positive effects on relationships.\\nFor example, if the person you hurt tries to bring up a pattern of past behavior that they believe is related to your mistake, allow him/her to finish. Pause before you respond. Consider the person’s statements, and try to see the situation from the other person’s perspective, even if you disagree. Don’t lash out, yell, or insult the other person.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use open, humble body language.\", \"描述\": \"The nonverbal communication you give while apologizing is just as important as what you say, if not more so. Avoid hunching or slouching, as this could indicate that you are closed to the conversation.\\nMake eye contact while speaking and listening. Aim for at least 50% of the time while you are speaking, and at least 70% of the time while you are listening.\\nAvoid crossing your arms. This is a sign that you feel defensive and are closed to the other person.\\nTry to keep your face relaxed. You don’t have to force a smile, but if you feel a sour expression or grimace on your face, take a moment to relax those muscles.\\nUse open palms rather than closed hands if you want to gesture.\\nIf the person is close to you and it’s appropriate, use touch to convey your emotions. A hug, or a gentle touch on the arm or hand, can communicate how much the other person means to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"State your regret.\", \"描述\": \"Express your empathy toward the other person. Acknowledge the hurt or damage that you did. Acknowledge the other person’s feelings as real and valued.\\nStudies have shown that when apologies appear to be motivated by feelings of guilt or shame, they are more likely to be accepted by the hurt person. In contrast, apologies motivated by pity are less likely to be accepted, because they seem less sincere.\\nFor example, you could begin an apology by saying “I deeply regret hurting your feelings yesterday. I feel terrible about causing you pain.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Accept responsibility.\", \"描述\": \"Be as specific as possible when you accept responsibility. Specific apologies are more likely to be meaningful to the other person, because they show that you have paid attention to the situation that hurt him/her.\\nTry to avoid overgeneralizing. Saying something like “I’m a terrible person” is not true, and it isn’t attentive to the specific behavior or situation that caused the hurt. Overgeneralizing makes addressing the issue seem impossible; you can’t fix being a “terrible person” as easily as you can fix “not paying attention to someone else’s needs.”\\nFor example, continue the apology by stating what, specifically, caused the hurt. “I deeply regret hurting your feelings yesterday. I feel terrible about causing you pain. I should never have snapped at you for picking me up late.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"State how you will remedy the situation.\", \"描述\": \"Apologies are likely to be most successful if you offer a suggestion about how you will do things differently in the future, or repair the hurt in some way.\\nFind the underlying problem, describe it to the person without pointing fingers at anyone else, and tell him or her what you intend to do to solve that problem so that you can avoid the mistake in the future.\\nFor example, “I deeply regret hurting your feelings yesterday. I feel terrible about causing you pain. I should never have snapped at you for picking me up late. In the future, I will stop to think more carefully before I say things.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Listen to the other person.\", \"描述\": \"The other person may want to express their feelings to you. S/he may still be upset. They may have more questions for you. Do your best to stay calm and open.\\nIf the other person is still upset with you, s/he may react in an unfavorable way. If the person yells or insults you, these negative feelings may prevent forgiveness from occurring. Either take a timeout or try to redirect the conversation to a more productive topic.\\nTo take a timeout, express your empathy for the other person and offer them the choice. Try to avoid seeming like you’re blaming the other person. For example, “I clearly hurt you, and it seems like you’re upset right now. Would it be helpful to take a brief timeout? I want to understand where you are coming from, but I want you to feel comfortable.”\\nTo redirect the conversation from negativity, try to learn specific behaviors that the other person wishes you had done instead of what you actually did. For example, if the other person says something like “You just never respect me!” you could respond by asking “What would help you feel that respect in the future?” or “What do you hope I would do differently next time?”\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Tell them how you’ll change.\", \"描述\": \"Let them know how you’ll change and what you’d do to make that possible. For instance, if you’ve been late once again, instead of just apologizing, share how you’d keep an early alarm to be more punctual!\\nA true apology is one where you acknowledge your mistakes and assure that it won’t be repeated again.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"End with gratitude.\", \"描述\": \"Express your appreciation for the role that they play in your life, emphasizing that you do not want to jeopardize or damage the relationship. This is the time to briefly recount what has created and sustained the bond over time and tell loved ones that they are indeed loved. Describe what your life would be missing without their trust and their company.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Be patient\", \"描述\": \"If an apology is not accepted, thank the other person for hearing you out and leave the door open in case they want to talk about it later. For example, \\\"I understand you're still upset about it, but thank you for giving me the chance to apologize. If you ever change your mind, please give me a call.\\\" Sometimes people want to forgive you, but they still need a little time to cool off.\\nRemember, just because someone accepts your apology doesn't mean they've fully forgiven you. It can take time, maybe a long time, before the other person can completely let go and fully trust you again. There is little you can do to speed this process up, but there are endless ways to bog it down. If the person is truly important to you, it's worth it to give them the time and space they need to heal. Don't expect them to go right back to acting normally immediately.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Stick to your word.\", \"描述\": \"A true apology includes a solution, or expresses that you are willing to fix the problem. You promised to work towards solving the problem, and you have to carry out your promise in order for the apology to be sincere and complete. Otherwise, your apologies will lose their meaning, and trust may disappear beyond the point of no return.\\nCheck in with the other person occasionally. For example, after a few weeks or so have gone by, you could ask “I heard how my behavior a few weeks ago hurt you, and I’m really working to do better. How am I doing?”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If the person is willing to talk to you about making amends, see this as an opportunity. If you've forgotten your spouse's birthday or your anniversary, for instance, you might decide to celebrate another night and make it extra wonderful and romantic. This doesn't mean you can forget again, but it shows you are willing to put in the effort to change for the better.\\n\", \"Let the other person cool off first, the teacup (once stirred) will need some time to slow. Also, the person will still be quite upset so they may not be ready to forgive.\\n\", \"After you have apologized, take some time to yourself and try to think of a better way that you could have handled the situation. Remember, part of an apology is committing to becoming a better person. That way, the next time a similar situation arises you will be ready to handle it in a way that does not hurt anybody's feelings.\\n\"]}]}}",
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1,777 | How to Apologize After Bad Behavior | 1. Expressing Your Apology in Words
1-1. Take some time to compose yourself before you apologize.
Though you may want to throw yourself at the mercy of the person you have offended as soon as you realize your bad behavior, you may want to wait a little before apologizing. Depending on how bad your behavior was, you may take a day away from the person to give them some space and let your emotions cool down.
Taking some time to compose yourself will also allow you to think about how you plan to apologize and what you are going to say in your apology. Often, a well thought out and clear apology a day after the offending incident can be more effective than a casual, awkward apology right after the incident.
1-2. Write an apology letter.
If you are struggling to put your apology into words, you may want to try sitting down and composing an apology letter. Sometimes, writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you get a better sense of what you want to say to the person. It will also force you to confront your bad behavior and consider why you acted badly. Identifying the reason(s) for your bad behavior may allow you to write a more sincere and clear apology to the person. Though you may not actually give the letter to the person, writing down your thoughts can help you to craft a better in person apology.
In your letter, you should focus on saying “I’m sorry” but without adding any excuses for your behavior. Avoid saying “I’m sorry for my behavior, but I am under a lot of stress” and instead say, “I’m sorry for my behavior and for the way I treated you. I was stressed, and I took it out on you, which was inappropriate.” Replacing the word but with the word and can be a good start.
You should also try to empathize with the person’s point of view in your letter, noting that you understand why the person may be upset at you. You should also make a point of promising that you will try to act more appropriately in the future, as this shows you are making an effort to correct your behavior.
End the letter on a positive note, stating that what you did will never happen again and that you hope you can both move past the incident. You may want to sign the letter, “Sincerely” to show that you are trying to be honest and truthful.
1-3. Apologize one on one in a quiet, private area.
If you decide to apologize in person, you should make sure you make the apology in a quiet, private area. This could be in your office at work, in a conference room, in your home, or in a quiet area of the library at school. Apologizing in a private area, one on one, will allow you to be honest and upfront about your feelings.
If the person is very upset at you for your behavior, you may want to suggest a public place that feels neutral and safe for both of you, such as a coffee shop close by where the person lives or a bar.
1-4. Accept responsibility for your behavior.
You should start your apology by discussing your bad behavior and acknowledging that it was inappropriate. Be specific when discussing your bad behavior, as this will show the person that you are able to take responsibility for your actions. Doing this will indicate you are willing to admit you were wrong, which will likely make the person more willing to forgive you.
For example, you may say, “I was wrong to yell at you during the meeting with the shareholders. I was also wrong to swear at you and use inappropriate language when I spoke to you.”
1-5. Express regret for your behavior.
Once you have acknowledged your behavior and acknowledged it was inappropriate, you should express sincere regret for your words and actions. This will let the person know that you are aware you caused them discomfort or pain. You are trying to connect emotionally with the person so try to be as honest and sincere as you can.
For example, you may say, “I realize that my words and actions were wrong and I regret that I let my anger get out of hand. I know that I hurt you and embarrassed you, and I am sorry for my behavior.”
1-6. Make a promise to change your behavior.
You should offer some way of making up for your behavior, whether this is a promise that you will never act the way you did again or a promise that you will talk to the person with respect rather than lash out at them in the future. You should make a realistic promise to the person as a way to strengthen your apology. Make sure your promise notes your desire to change your behavior so you do not act badly again.
For example, you may say: “I promise that I will never speak out again in a meeting and speak inappropriately to you or to others.” You may also say, “I know I keep lashing out at you and I do not want to keep behaving this way. I will work on how I process my emotions and make sure I do not take them out on you.”
Another option is to ask the person how you can make it up to them and let them dictate their expectations for you. This may be a useful option if you are apologizing to a partner or spouse and want them to give you input on how you can make up for your bad behavior. You may ask, “How can I make up for my behavior?”
1-7. Ask for forgiveness.
You should end your apology by asking for forgiveness for your actions. Requesting forgiveness and putting yourself at the mercy of the person will show that you are sincere in your apology.
Always form the request for forgiveness as a question, rather than a statement. You want the forgiveness element to feel like you are at the mercy of the person, rather than demanding something of them. You may say, “I’m sorry I behaved the way I did. I know I behaved inappropriately. Will you forgive me?”
2. Taking Actions to Apologize
2-1. Offer compensation for any damaged items due to your behavior.
If you have acted badly towards a colleague or an acquaintance, such as spilling coffee on your colleague’s shirt or missing a lunch with an acquaintance, you may want to offer some form of compensation. This could be a redeeming action that is tangible, like paying for dry cleaning the stained shirt or paying for lunch with the acquaintance to make up for missing it the first time. The action of at least offering to compensate the person will often show that you feel bad and want to try to make up for your behavior.
Offers of compensation can be financial if you have damaged someone else’s property due to your behavior. You can also offer compensation through other kind actions, like paying for the person’s coffee if you spill theirs by accident or helping someone replace their broken phone if you accidentally sent theirs into the toilet.
2-2. Give the person an apology gift.
Another way to make up for bad behavior is to surprise the person you have offended with an apology gift. This could be a standard apology gift, like a bouquet of flowers or a box of sweets. Leave the gift on their desk or have them delivered with a card noting how sorry you are. The small gift may at least help them work toward letting go of their anger toward you and accept your apology.
You could also think of a gift that seems particular to the person, like a mug with their favorite celebrity on it or a box of their favorite chocolates. Thoughtful, personal gifts are usually a big hit and can show the person that you feel bad for your behavior.
2-3. Do something for the person that will make their day.
You can also do something nice for the person that will improve their day and show them you want to make up for your behavior. This could be surprising them by taking them out to lunch or bringing them their favorite lunch at work. You could also plan an outing just the two of you to make up for missing an appointment with the person.
Often, kind acts should be done along with an apology in words. You may need to compose a thoughtful, heartfelt apology and share it with the person, as well as do a kind act, to help the person forgive you.
3. Following Up on the Apology
3-1. Give the person time to process your apology.
Once you have apologized to the person through words and/or actions, it is important that you give the person time to process your apology. Do not expect the person to forgive you right away or say, "no big deal" after you apologize. It may take time for the person to accept your apology and move forward from your bad behavior.
You may need to give the person space and spend time away from them so they are able to process their emotions towards you and find it in their heart to forgive you.
Be patient when giving a person time. Just because you think enough time has passed does not mean it's true. That person might need more time than you realize.
Whether the person accepts your apology or not, make sure you listen to their response. Though it may be difficult to hear how you have hurt this person, listening to what they have to say is a fundamental part of taking responsibility for your actions.
3-2. Be kind to the person, even if they are still upset at you.
If the person does not say, "I forgive you", you may be frustrated or annoyed at them, especially if you have presented a heartfelt apology. But you cannot force the person to forgive you and being rude or unkind to them will only make the situation worse. Instead, focus on showing kindness and consideration to the person, even if they are cold to you.
Go out of your way to be nice to them. Show them that you still want to be friends, even if they haven't forgiven you yet.
3-3. Focus on changing your bad behavior.
If the person does not accept your apology, you may need to turn inward and focus on changing your bad behavior permanently. Put your changed self into action and show the person that you are trying to get better at maintaining healthy relationships and boundaries. Over time, the person may see that you have changed and consider renewing your relationship again.
Remember, actions speak louder than words. Acting more responsible and considerate will help show the person that you are trying to change.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:07",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Expressing Your Apology in Words\\n1-1. Take some time to compose yourself before you apologize.\\nThough you may want to throw yourself at the mercy of the person you have offended as soon as you realize your bad behavior, you may want to wait a little before apologizing. Depending on how bad your behavior was, you may take a day away from the person to give them some space and let your emotions cool down. \\nTaking some time to compose yourself will also allow you to think about how you plan to apologize and what you are going to say in your apology. Often, a well thought out and clear apology a day after the offending incident can be more effective than a casual, awkward apology right after the incident.\\n1-2. Write an apology letter.\\nIf you are struggling to put your apology into words, you may want to try sitting down and composing an apology letter. Sometimes, writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you get a better sense of what you want to say to the person. It will also force you to confront your bad behavior and consider why you acted badly. Identifying the reason(s) for your bad behavior may allow you to write a more sincere and clear apology to the person. Though you may not actually give the letter to the person, writing down your thoughts can help you to craft a better in person apology.\\nIn your letter, you should focus on saying “I’m sorry” but without adding any excuses for your behavior. Avoid saying “I’m sorry for my behavior, but I am under a lot of stress” and instead say, “I’m sorry for my behavior and for the way I treated you. I was stressed, and I took it out on you, which was inappropriate.” Replacing the word but with the word and can be a good start.\\nYou should also try to empathize with the person’s point of view in your letter, noting that you understand why the person may be upset at you. You should also make a point of promising that you will try to act more appropriately in the future, as this shows you are making an effort to correct your behavior.\\nEnd the letter on a positive note, stating that what you did will never happen again and that you hope you can both move past the incident. You may want to sign the letter, “Sincerely” to show that you are trying to be honest and truthful.\\n1-3. Apologize one on one in a quiet, private area.\\nIf you decide to apologize in person, you should make sure you make the apology in a quiet, private area. This could be in your office at work, in a conference room, in your home, or in a quiet area of the library at school. Apologizing in a private area, one on one, will allow you to be honest and upfront about your feelings.\\nIf the person is very upset at you for your behavior, you may want to suggest a public place that feels neutral and safe for both of you, such as a coffee shop close by where the person lives or a bar.\\n1-4. Accept responsibility for your behavior.\\nYou should start your apology by discussing your bad behavior and acknowledging that it was inappropriate. Be specific when discussing your bad behavior, as this will show the person that you are able to take responsibility for your actions. Doing this will indicate you are willing to admit you were wrong, which will likely make the person more willing to forgive you.\\nFor example, you may say, “I was wrong to yell at you during the meeting with the shareholders. I was also wrong to swear at you and use inappropriate language when I spoke to you.”\\n1-5. Express regret for your behavior.\\nOnce you have acknowledged your behavior and acknowledged it was inappropriate, you should express sincere regret for your words and actions. This will let the person know that you are aware you caused them discomfort or pain. You are trying to connect emotionally with the person so try to be as honest and sincere as you can.\\nFor example, you may say, “I realize that my words and actions were wrong and I regret that I let my anger get out of hand. I know that I hurt you and embarrassed you, and I am sorry for my behavior.”\\n1-6. Make a promise to change your behavior.\\nYou should offer some way of making up for your behavior, whether this is a promise that you will never act the way you did again or a promise that you will talk to the person with respect rather than lash out at them in the future. You should make a realistic promise to the person as a way to strengthen your apology. Make sure your promise notes your desire to change your behavior so you do not act badly again.\\nFor example, you may say: “I promise that I will never speak out again in a meeting and speak inappropriately to you or to others.” You may also say, “I know I keep lashing out at you and I do not want to keep behaving this way. I will work on how I process my emotions and make sure I do not take them out on you.”\\nAnother option is to ask the person how you can make it up to them and let them dictate their expectations for you. This may be a useful option if you are apologizing to a partner or spouse and want them to give you input on how you can make up for your bad behavior. You may ask, “How can I make up for my behavior?”\\n1-7. Ask for forgiveness.\\nYou should end your apology by asking for forgiveness for your actions. Requesting forgiveness and putting yourself at the mercy of the person will show that you are sincere in your apology.\\nAlways form the request for forgiveness as a question, rather than a statement. You want the forgiveness element to feel like you are at the mercy of the person, rather than demanding something of them. You may say, “I’m sorry I behaved the way I did. I know I behaved inappropriately. Will you forgive me?”\\n2. Taking Actions to Apologize\\n2-1. Offer compensation for any damaged items due to your behavior.\\nIf you have acted badly towards a colleague or an acquaintance, such as spilling coffee on your colleague’s shirt or missing a lunch with an acquaintance, you may want to offer some form of compensation. This could be a redeeming action that is tangible, like paying for dry cleaning the stained shirt or paying for lunch with the acquaintance to make up for missing it the first time. The action of at least offering to compensate the person will often show that you feel bad and want to try to make up for your behavior.\\nOffers of compensation can be financial if you have damaged someone else’s property due to your behavior. You can also offer compensation through other kind actions, like paying for the person’s coffee if you spill theirs by accident or helping someone replace their broken phone if you accidentally sent theirs into the toilet.\\n2-2. Give the person an apology gift.\\nAnother way to make up for bad behavior is to surprise the person you have offended with an apology gift. This could be a standard apology gift, like a bouquet of flowers or a box of sweets. Leave the gift on their desk or have them delivered with a card noting how sorry you are. The small gift may at least help them work toward letting go of their anger toward you and accept your apology.\\nYou could also think of a gift that seems particular to the person, like a mug with their favorite celebrity on it or a box of their favorite chocolates. Thoughtful, personal gifts are usually a big hit and can show the person that you feel bad for your behavior.\\n2-3. Do something for the person that will make their day.\\nYou can also do something nice for the person that will improve their day and show them you want to make up for your behavior. This could be surprising them by taking them out to lunch or bringing them their favorite lunch at work. You could also plan an outing just the two of you to make up for missing an appointment with the person.\\nOften, kind acts should be done along with an apology in words. You may need to compose a thoughtful, heartfelt apology and share it with the person, as well as do a kind act, to help the person forgive you.\\n3. Following Up on the Apology\\n3-1. Give the person time to process your apology.\\nOnce you have apologized to the person through words and/or actions, it is important that you give the person time to process your apology. Do not expect the person to forgive you right away or say, \\\"no big deal\\\" after you apologize. It may take time for the person to accept your apology and move forward from your bad behavior.\\nYou may need to give the person space and spend time away from them so they are able to process their emotions towards you and find it in their heart to forgive you.\\nBe patient when giving a person time. Just because you think enough time has passed does not mean it's true. That person might need more time than you realize.\\nWhether the person accepts your apology or not, make sure you listen to their response. Though it may be difficult to hear how you have hurt this person, listening to what they have to say is a fundamental part of taking responsibility for your actions.\\n3-2. Be kind to the person, even if they are still upset at you.\\nIf the person does not say, \\\"I forgive you\\\", you may be frustrated or annoyed at them, especially if you have presented a heartfelt apology. But you cannot force the person to forgive you and being rude or unkind to them will only make the situation worse. Instead, focus on showing kindness and consideration to the person, even if they are cold to you.\\nGo out of your way to be nice to them. Show them that you still want to be friends, even if they haven't forgiven you yet.\\n3-3. Focus on changing your bad behavior.\\nIf the person does not accept your apology, you may need to turn inward and focus on changing your bad behavior permanently. Put your changed self into action and show the person that you are trying to get better at maintaining healthy relationships and boundaries. Over time, the person may see that you have changed and consider renewing your relationship again. \\nRemember, actions speak louder than words. Acting more responsible and considerate will help show the person that you are trying to change.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Maybe you freaked out at your partner and acted out inappropriately or you made rude comments to your boss during a stressful day at work. Though it is never pretty, bad behavior can happen and often it is often triggered by anxiety, anger, stress, or confusion. If you have behaved badly, you can apologize effectively and increase your chances of getting back into the person’s good graces.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Expressing Your Apology in Words\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take some time to compose yourself before you apologize.\", \"描述\": \"Though you may want to throw yourself at the mercy of the person you have offended as soon as you realize your bad behavior, you may want to wait a little before apologizing. Depending on how bad your behavior was, you may take a day away from the person to give them some space and let your emotions cool down. \\nTaking some time to compose yourself will also allow you to think about how you plan to apologize and what you are going to say in your apology. Often, a well thought out and clear apology a day after the offending incident can be more effective than a casual, awkward apology right after the incident.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Write an apology letter.\", \"描述\": \"If you are struggling to put your apology into words, you may want to try sitting down and composing an apology letter. Sometimes, writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you get a better sense of what you want to say to the person. It will also force you to confront your bad behavior and consider why you acted badly. Identifying the reason(s) for your bad behavior may allow you to write a more sincere and clear apology to the person. Though you may not actually give the letter to the person, writing down your thoughts can help you to craft a better in person apology.\\nIn your letter, you should focus on saying “I’m sorry” but without adding any excuses for your behavior. Avoid saying “I’m sorry for my behavior, but I am under a lot of stress” and instead say, “I’m sorry for my behavior and for the way I treated you. I was stressed, and I took it out on you, which was inappropriate.” Replacing the word but with the word and can be a good start.\\nYou should also try to empathize with the person’s point of view in your letter, noting that you understand why the person may be upset at you. You should also make a point of promising that you will try to act more appropriately in the future, as this shows you are making an effort to correct your behavior.\\nEnd the letter on a positive note, stating that what you did will never happen again and that you hope you can both move past the incident. You may want to sign the letter, “Sincerely” to show that you are trying to be honest and truthful.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Apologize one on one in a quiet, private area.\", \"描述\": \"If you decide to apologize in person, you should make sure you make the apology in a quiet, private area. This could be in your office at work, in a conference room, in your home, or in a quiet area of the library at school. Apologizing in a private area, one on one, will allow you to be honest and upfront about your feelings.\\nIf the person is very upset at you for your behavior, you may want to suggest a public place that feels neutral and safe for both of you, such as a coffee shop close by where the person lives or a bar.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Accept responsibility for your behavior.\", \"描述\": \"You should start your apology by discussing your bad behavior and acknowledging that it was inappropriate. Be specific when discussing your bad behavior, as this will show the person that you are able to take responsibility for your actions. Doing this will indicate you are willing to admit you were wrong, which will likely make the person more willing to forgive you.\\nFor example, you may say, “I was wrong to yell at you during the meeting with the shareholders. I was also wrong to swear at you and use inappropriate language when I spoke to you.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Express regret for your behavior.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have acknowledged your behavior and acknowledged it was inappropriate, you should express sincere regret for your words and actions. This will let the person know that you are aware you caused them discomfort or pain. You are trying to connect emotionally with the person so try to be as honest and sincere as you can.\\nFor example, you may say, “I realize that my words and actions were wrong and I regret that I let my anger get out of hand. I know that I hurt you and embarrassed you, and I am sorry for my behavior.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Make a promise to change your behavior.\", \"描述\": \"You should offer some way of making up for your behavior, whether this is a promise that you will never act the way you did again or a promise that you will talk to the person with respect rather than lash out at them in the future. You should make a realistic promise to the person as a way to strengthen your apology. Make sure your promise notes your desire to change your behavior so you do not act badly again.\\nFor example, you may say: “I promise that I will never speak out again in a meeting and speak inappropriately to you or to others.” You may also say, “I know I keep lashing out at you and I do not want to keep behaving this way. I will work on how I process my emotions and make sure I do not take them out on you.”\\nAnother option is to ask the person how you can make it up to them and let them dictate their expectations for you. This may be a useful option if you are apologizing to a partner or spouse and want them to give you input on how you can make up for your bad behavior. You may ask, “How can I make up for my behavior?”\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Ask for forgiveness.\", \"描述\": \"You should end your apology by asking for forgiveness for your actions. Requesting forgiveness and putting yourself at the mercy of the person will show that you are sincere in your apology.\\nAlways form the request for forgiveness as a question, rather than a statement. You want the forgiveness element to feel like you are at the mercy of the person, rather than demanding something of them. You may say, “I’m sorry I behaved the way I did. I know I behaved inappropriately. Will you forgive me?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Taking Actions to Apologize\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Offer compensation for any damaged items due to your behavior.\", \"描述\": \"If you have acted badly towards a colleague or an acquaintance, such as spilling coffee on your colleague’s shirt or missing a lunch with an acquaintance, you may want to offer some form of compensation. This could be a redeeming action that is tangible, like paying for dry cleaning the stained shirt or paying for lunch with the acquaintance to make up for missing it the first time. The action of at least offering to compensate the person will often show that you feel bad and want to try to make up for your behavior.\\nOffers of compensation can be financial if you have damaged someone else’s property due to your behavior. You can also offer compensation through other kind actions, like paying for the person’s coffee if you spill theirs by accident or helping someone replace their broken phone if you accidentally sent theirs into the toilet.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Give the person an apology gift.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to make up for bad behavior is to surprise the person you have offended with an apology gift. This could be a standard apology gift, like a bouquet of flowers or a box of sweets. Leave the gift on their desk or have them delivered with a card noting how sorry you are. The small gift may at least help them work toward letting go of their anger toward you and accept your apology.\\nYou could also think of a gift that seems particular to the person, like a mug with their favorite celebrity on it or a box of their favorite chocolates. Thoughtful, personal gifts are usually a big hit and can show the person that you feel bad for your behavior.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do something for the person that will make their day.\", \"描述\": \"You can also do something nice for the person that will improve their day and show them you want to make up for your behavior. This could be surprising them by taking them out to lunch or bringing them their favorite lunch at work. You could also plan an outing just the two of you to make up for missing an appointment with the person.\\nOften, kind acts should be done along with an apology in words. You may need to compose a thoughtful, heartfelt apology and share it with the person, as well as do a kind act, to help the person forgive you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Following Up on the Apology\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give the person time to process your apology.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have apologized to the person through words and/or actions, it is important that you give the person time to process your apology. Do not expect the person to forgive you right away or say, \\\"no big deal\\\" after you apologize. It may take time for the person to accept your apology and move forward from your bad behavior.\\nYou may need to give the person space and spend time away from them so they are able to process their emotions towards you and find it in their heart to forgive you.\\nBe patient when giving a person time. Just because you think enough time has passed does not mean it's true. That person might need more time than you realize.\\nWhether the person accepts your apology or not, make sure you listen to their response. Though it may be difficult to hear how you have hurt this person, listening to what they have to say is a fundamental part of taking responsibility for your actions.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be kind to the person, even if they are still upset at you.\", \"描述\": \"If the person does not say, \\\"I forgive you\\\", you may be frustrated or annoyed at them, especially if you have presented a heartfelt apology. But you cannot force the person to forgive you and being rude or unkind to them will only make the situation worse. Instead, focus on showing kindness and consideration to the person, even if they are cold to you.\\nGo out of your way to be nice to them. Show them that you still want to be friends, even if they haven't forgiven you yet.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Focus on changing your bad behavior.\", \"描述\": \"If the person does not accept your apology, you may need to turn inward and focus on changing your bad behavior permanently. Put your changed self into action and show the person that you are trying to get better at maintaining healthy relationships and boundaries. Over time, the person may see that you have changed and consider renewing your relationship again. \\nRemember, actions speak louder than words. Acting more responsible and considerate will help show the person that you are trying to change.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,778 | How to Apologize After a Heated Argument | 1. Giving a Genuine Apology
1-1. Avoid excuses.
However you choose to apologize, there are a few things you should avoid. Don’t automatically try to justify your statements or behavior, or try to reiterate why you were right about whatever you were arguing about. Pay attention to word choice and approach to prevent giving an apology that isn’t actually an apology.
Avoid “ifs” and “buts”. Never start an apology with “I’m sorry if _____.” This makes your apology dependent on something else (and may even imply you think your apology is only necessary because of their feelings). This is simply not a sincere way to be apologetic.
Don’t say “I’m sorry but_____” either. An apology like this is making an excuse before an apology is even made.
Don’t try to explain yourself during an apology. Focused on owning up for what you did or said, the fact that you’re sorry about it, and that you intend to remedy the situation. Do not attempt to rationalize what had occurred during a heated argument.
Know that if there was a valid reason for the argument and for your role in it, that you should talk about it, but that that conversation ought to be independent of your apology.
1-2. Listen!
Though it may seem counter-intuitive, listening may be the most important part of apologizing. Once you’ve made it clear that you are sorry, allow your loved one to speak and give them your full attention.
Don’t allow the potential discomfort of giving an apology to turn into a monologue that you may have to apologize for all over again.
Whenever you’re unsure or whether you should continue speaking, pause. If your loved one begins to speak, just listen.
Don’t try to anticipate anything the other person is going to say. They may still be too angry or hurt to receive your apology. Even if they’re still upset, let them make their point.
If you’re feeling badly after a fight, recognize that the other person is too. Give them the time and space to articulate their feelings.
1-3. Don’t discount the other person’s feelings.
Avoid attempting to downplay someone else’s negative feelings. Similarly, don’t act as though nothing happened. Acknowledge the feelings that they convey by responding specifically to each feeling they articulate.
Use “I”-statements when responding, such as “I understand you’re upset”, “I know I disappointed you”, I realize that I said some hurtful things”. These statements can stand alone, or be accompanied with another clear “I’m sorry.”
Do not attempt to explain yourself when they still have more to say.
Avoid being falsely cheerful, as this may seem insincere or even malicious.
Say something along the lines of “I know you’re upset. So am I. When we calm down, let’s talk about it and get through this.”
1-4. Practice your apology beforehand.
Apologize for both specific things you said during the argument, and for allowing yourself to get heated in the first place. Convey they sincerity of your apology by knowing what you’re going to say – and why – ahead of time.
Tell yourself, and the person to whom you are apologizing, that you have no agenda that motivates your apology other than healing the damage to your relationship that the argument may have caused.
Choose words and statements that are honest and heart-felt. Don’t try to be overly-eloquent or too analytical. Be direct; you might not need to say much.
Ensure that none of your sentiments are framed in an effort to deceive or manipulate your loved one. Never be duplicitous in conversations that are important to your own or others’ feelings.
1-5. Time your apology thoughtfully.
Timing is especially important if you want your apology to come across as genuine. You certainly can’t give a heartfelt apology while you’re still worked up from the argument.
Take a moment. You and your loved one will likely need a while to regroup your thoughts and gain composure. Avoid rushing into an apology for both your sake and the sake of the person you fought with.
Go somewhere private. A walk may be your best option; fresh air can help clear the mind and calm you down. Allow yourself to address your heightened emotions privately.
1-6. Write a letter of apology.
A letter is a great way to calmly and courteously convey an apology. Even if you decide to apologize in person, writing a letter before doing so can help you organize your thoughts, express your feelings, and plan exactly what you want to share with your loved one.
If you’re not going to see the person with whom you argued for a while, a letter is great way to convey your apology without putting them on the spot, which you risk doing with a phone call.
After you’ve written your letter, reconsider what you’ve written. Do so either immediately or over the course of a few days, depending on how quickly you want to give an apology.
Right before delivering an apology letter, reread it one last time.
Consider allowing someone you trust to read over the letter to help ensure you haven’t included anything that might be interpreted differently than you intend.
Do not apologize via text or email. A text is not an appropriate medium with which to have a meaningful conversation. Emailed apologies may be appropriate for professional apologies, but not for personal apologies to people you know well.
For more specific tips on apologizing, see the wikiHow on How to Apologize.
2. Re-establishing Trust After an Argument
2-1. Acknowledge the reason that you had a fight.
The bad news is, there’s probably a reason that you fought, and it needs to be addressed. Don’t allow potential points of irritability or distance between the two of you to turn into deeper animosities by recognizing tensions before they lead to another fight.
Self-reflection will lead to realizations that you can address after you’ve apologized.
Specific questions you might ask yourself include:
What are the specific things I said or did that likely hurt the other person?
Was I intending to hurt the other person, or get back at them for something? If so, why did I do so?
Do interactions such as this often occur between you?
2-2. Include specific realizations about your behavior in conversations following an apology.
The answers you provide for yourself to these questions can help inform the specific things you need to apologize for.
Be clear, by saying things like, “I’m really sorry about saying ______, I can see how hurtful that likely was.”
If fights are recurring, bring it up, especially if you’re at fault. Say something like. “I’m sorry for fighting with you again. I recognize that my behavior needs to change. Are you willing to talk about this with me?”
Let it go! Alternatively, you may realize that there wasn’t a good reason for a fight – it was just an especially bad moment for one or both of you. If you’re sure there’s not an underlying issue that needs to be talked about, letting it go (after apologizing) might be the best route to take.
More than likely there is something that needs to be addressed. Articulate not only the things you recognize that you did wrong, but also the things the other person said or did that hurt you, though do so after you’ve apologized.
2-3. Address potential causes of continued tension with your loved one.
If you or your loved one feels as though one of your “gave in” during the fight, or didn’t get something off of their chest that they need to, there are likely unresolved issues between you.
For instance, Ask each other, “Are you angry about how the argument ended?”
Did you try to convince your loved one to do something they didn’t want to do? Be sure to apologize and rescind any coercive agreements by saying things like, “I know I insisted on _______, and that I didn’t hear you out on why you disagreed. Let’s talk about it together, and I’ll be more open to your considerations.”
Articulate the things specific things that hurt of offended you that your loved one has said or done. Do so calmly, and avoid being accusatory, but you need to be clear about behavior that cannot continue. Say things likes, “It really hurt me when you said/did _______.”
Be ready to forgive your loved one, and expect the same, if you’re able to apologize to one another, have the constructive conversations to grow closer, and move on.
2-4. Don’t hold grudges.
Even if you are extremely upset or disgusted about what was said or done, recognize that holding onto the emotion of anger will not improve the situation for anyone. Ensure that there aren’t any grudges that may drive a wedge between the two of you.
Don’t persist in giving others the cold shoulder or the silent treatment.
Similarly, if you find yourself being especially critical of one another, there are likely unresolved feelings that need to be discussed.
Monitor yourself and reflect on the observations you make about how you’re acting.
Take responsibility for your own actions by working to adjust your own behavior and being willing to speak openly and listen fully to your loved ones.
2-5. Commit to acting more appropriately.
You need to make it clear that you intend not to repeat any hurtful behavior. Your apology is only as good as your willingness to ensure you don’t have to make the same apology again.
Clearly and specifically articulate a commitment not to repeat any hurtful things you said or did.
Emphasize the fact that you do not want to hurt the other person, and are sorry for having done so.
Following egregious or repeated behavior during arguments with your loved ones, you may need to do more than apologize.
Commit to a plan or process to help you deal with whatever might be leading to your hurtful behavior, and seek professional guidance or join a support group to help you follow through on these commitments.
2-6. Give a token of apology.
Don’t ever think that simply giving a gift is a sufficient apology. If you go the gift route, it needs to be something well-thought out that will be meaningful to the recipient.
If you apologized in person, following it up with a letter about how much your relationship with the person means to you may be the best gift you can give someone.
Think of something the other person likes to do, and get them something accordingly.
Tickets or passes to a show or other activity you know your loved one will enjoy are a great option, as you can go together. Spending time together is another great gift, as it indicates you’re hoping to maintain your connection.
2-7. Consummate the apology.
If you fought with your romantic partner, tangibly re-establishing your commitment to one another is vital, not to mention (especially) enjoyable. Make-up sex has a reputation for solidifying a particularly gratifying reunion after a fight.
Remind one another, both verbally and tangibly (with kissing, hand-holding, hugging), that even though you are capable of hurting one another, that you’re still there for one another as well.
When emotionally excited by the stimulus of an intense fight, the pleasures of sex may be amplified by a psychological (and biological) phenomenon called the arousal transfer.
Allow the relief you’re both feeling on account of your reconciliation to spill over into a session of romantic reunion that reaffirms the bonds between you.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:07",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Giving a Genuine Apology\\n1-1. Avoid excuses.\\nHowever you choose to apologize, there are a few things you should avoid. Don’t automatically try to justify your statements or behavior, or try to reiterate why you were right about whatever you were arguing about. Pay attention to word choice and approach to prevent giving an apology that isn’t actually an apology.\\nAvoid “ifs” and “buts”. Never start an apology with “I’m sorry if _____.” This makes your apology dependent on something else (and may even imply you think your apology is only necessary because of their feelings). This is simply not a sincere way to be apologetic.\\nDon’t say “I’m sorry but_____” either. An apology like this is making an excuse before an apology is even made.\\nDon’t try to explain yourself during an apology. Focused on owning up for what you did or said, the fact that you’re sorry about it, and that you intend to remedy the situation. Do not attempt to rationalize what had occurred during a heated argument.\\nKnow that if there was a valid reason for the argument and for your role in it, that you should talk about it, but that that conversation ought to be independent of your apology.\\n1-2. Listen!\\nThough it may seem counter-intuitive, listening may be the most important part of apologizing. Once you’ve made it clear that you are sorry, allow your loved one to speak and give them your full attention.\\nDon’t allow the potential discomfort of giving an apology to turn into a monologue that you may have to apologize for all over again.\\nWhenever you’re unsure or whether you should continue speaking, pause. If your loved one begins to speak, just listen.\\nDon’t try to anticipate anything the other person is going to say. They may still be too angry or hurt to receive your apology. Even if they’re still upset, let them make their point.\\nIf you’re feeling badly after a fight, recognize that the other person is too. Give them the time and space to articulate their feelings.\\n1-3. Don’t discount the other person’s feelings.\\nAvoid attempting to downplay someone else’s negative feelings. Similarly, don’t act as though nothing happened. Acknowledge the feelings that they convey by responding specifically to each feeling they articulate.\\nUse “I”-statements when responding, such as “I understand you’re upset”, “I know I disappointed you”, I realize that I said some hurtful things”. These statements can stand alone, or be accompanied with another clear “I’m sorry.”\\nDo not attempt to explain yourself when they still have more to say.\\nAvoid being falsely cheerful, as this may seem insincere or even malicious.\\nSay something along the lines of “I know you’re upset. So am I. When we calm down, let’s talk about it and get through this.”\\n1-4. Practice your apology beforehand.\\nApologize for both specific things you said during the argument, and for allowing yourself to get heated in the first place. Convey they sincerity of your apology by knowing what you’re going to say – and why – ahead of time.\\nTell yourself, and the person to whom you are apologizing, that you have no agenda that motivates your apology other than healing the damage to your relationship that the argument may have caused.\\nChoose words and statements that are honest and heart-felt. Don’t try to be overly-eloquent or too analytical. Be direct; you might not need to say much.\\nEnsure that none of your sentiments are framed in an effort to deceive or manipulate your loved one. Never be duplicitous in conversations that are important to your own or others’ feelings.\\n1-5. Time your apology thoughtfully.\\nTiming is especially important if you want your apology to come across as genuine. You certainly can’t give a heartfelt apology while you’re still worked up from the argument.\\nTake a moment. You and your loved one will likely need a while to regroup your thoughts and gain composure. Avoid rushing into an apology for both your sake and the sake of the person you fought with.\\nGo somewhere private. A walk may be your best option; fresh air can help clear the mind and calm you down. Allow yourself to address your heightened emotions privately.\\n1-6. Write a letter of apology.\\nA letter is a great way to calmly and courteously convey an apology. Even if you decide to apologize in person, writing a letter before doing so can help you organize your thoughts, express your feelings, and plan exactly what you want to share with your loved one.\\nIf you’re not going to see the person with whom you argued for a while, a letter is great way to convey your apology without putting them on the spot, which you risk doing with a phone call.\\nAfter you’ve written your letter, reconsider what you’ve written. Do so either immediately or over the course of a few days, depending on how quickly you want to give an apology.\\nRight before delivering an apology letter, reread it one last time.\\nConsider allowing someone you trust to read over the letter to help ensure you haven’t included anything that might be interpreted differently than you intend.\\nDo not apologize via text or email. A text is not an appropriate medium with which to have a meaningful conversation. Emailed apologies may be appropriate for professional apologies, but not for personal apologies to people you know well.\\nFor more specific tips on apologizing, see the wikiHow on How to Apologize.\\n2. Re-establishing Trust After an Argument\\n2-1. Acknowledge the reason that you had a fight.\\nThe bad news is, there’s probably a reason that you fought, and it needs to be addressed. Don’t allow potential points of irritability or distance between the two of you to turn into deeper animosities by recognizing tensions before they lead to another fight.\\nSelf-reflection will lead to realizations that you can address after you’ve apologized.\\nSpecific questions you might ask yourself include:\\nWhat are the specific things I said or did that likely hurt the other person?\\nWas I intending to hurt the other person, or get back at them for something? If so, why did I do so?\\nDo interactions such as this often occur between you?\\n2-2. Include specific realizations about your behavior in conversations following an apology.\\nThe answers you provide for yourself to these questions can help inform the specific things you need to apologize for.\\nBe clear, by saying things like, “I’m really sorry about saying ______, I can see how hurtful that likely was.”\\nIf fights are recurring, bring it up, especially if you’re at fault. Say something like. “I’m sorry for fighting with you again. I recognize that my behavior needs to change. Are you willing to talk about this with me?”\\nLet it go! Alternatively, you may realize that there wasn’t a good reason for a fight – it was just an especially bad moment for one or both of you. If you’re sure there’s not an underlying issue that needs to be talked about, letting it go (after apologizing) might be the best route to take.\\nMore than likely there is something that needs to be addressed. Articulate not only the things you recognize that you did wrong, but also the things the other person said or did that hurt you, though do so after you’ve apologized.\\n2-3. Address potential causes of continued tension with your loved one.\\nIf you or your loved one feels as though one of your “gave in” during the fight, or didn’t get something off of their chest that they need to, there are likely unresolved issues between you.\\nFor instance, Ask each other, “Are you angry about how the argument ended?”\\nDid you try to convince your loved one to do something they didn’t want to do? Be sure to apologize and rescind any coercive agreements by saying things like, “I know I insisted on _______, and that I didn’t hear you out on why you disagreed. Let’s talk about it together, and I’ll be more open to your considerations.”\\nArticulate the things specific things that hurt of offended you that your loved one has said or done. Do so calmly, and avoid being accusatory, but you need to be clear about behavior that cannot continue. Say things likes, “It really hurt me when you said/did _______.”\\nBe ready to forgive your loved one, and expect the same, if you’re able to apologize to one another, have the constructive conversations to grow closer, and move on.\\n2-4. Don’t hold grudges.\\nEven if you are extremely upset or disgusted about what was said or done, recognize that holding onto the emotion of anger will not improve the situation for anyone. Ensure that there aren’t any grudges that may drive a wedge between the two of you.\\nDon’t persist in giving others the cold shoulder or the silent treatment.\\nSimilarly, if you find yourself being especially critical of one another, there are likely unresolved feelings that need to be discussed.\\nMonitor yourself and reflect on the observations you make about how you’re acting.\\nTake responsibility for your own actions by working to adjust your own behavior and being willing to speak openly and listen fully to your loved ones.\\n2-5. Commit to acting more appropriately.\\nYou need to make it clear that you intend not to repeat any hurtful behavior. Your apology is only as good as your willingness to ensure you don’t have to make the same apology again. \\nClearly and specifically articulate a commitment not to repeat any hurtful things you said or did.\\nEmphasize the fact that you do not want to hurt the other person, and are sorry for having done so.\\nFollowing egregious or repeated behavior during arguments with your loved ones, you may need to do more than apologize.\\nCommit to a plan or process to help you deal with whatever might be leading to your hurtful behavior, and seek professional guidance or join a support group to help you follow through on these commitments.\\n2-6. Give a token of apology.\\nDon’t ever think that simply giving a gift is a sufficient apology. If you go the gift route, it needs to be something well-thought out that will be meaningful to the recipient.\\nIf you apologized in person, following it up with a letter about how much your relationship with the person means to you may be the best gift you can give someone.\\nThink of something the other person likes to do, and get them something accordingly.\\nTickets or passes to a show or other activity you know your loved one will enjoy are a great option, as you can go together. Spending time together is another great gift, as it indicates you’re hoping to maintain your connection.\\n2-7. Consummate the apology.\\nIf you fought with your romantic partner, tangibly re-establishing your commitment to one another is vital, not to mention (especially) enjoyable. Make-up sex has a reputation for solidifying a particularly gratifying reunion after a fight.\\nRemind one another, both verbally and tangibly (with kissing, hand-holding, hugging), that even though you are capable of hurting one another, that you’re still there for one another as well.\\nWhen emotionally excited by the stimulus of an intense fight, the pleasures of sex may be amplified by a psychological (and biological) phenomenon called the arousal transfer.\\nAllow the relief you’re both feeling on account of your reconciliation to spill over into a session of romantic reunion that reaffirms the bonds between you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"The fight is over, and you’re wondering how to apologize for your behavior, not to mention a handful of specific things you wish you hadn’t said. The emotional intensity of personal relationships, and the closeness we have with the people we spend our lives with sometimes boils over. The good news is, there are a handful of meaningful steps to follow when apologizing after a heated argument with a loved one.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Giving a Genuine Apology\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid excuses.\", \"描述\": \"However you choose to apologize, there are a few things you should avoid. Don’t automatically try to justify your statements or behavior, or try to reiterate why you were right about whatever you were arguing about. Pay attention to word choice and approach to prevent giving an apology that isn’t actually an apology.\\nAvoid “ifs” and “buts”. Never start an apology with “I’m sorry if _____.” This makes your apology dependent on something else (and may even imply you think your apology is only necessary because of their feelings). This is simply not a sincere way to be apologetic.\\nDon’t say “I’m sorry but_____” either. An apology like this is making an excuse before an apology is even made.\\nDon’t try to explain yourself during an apology. Focused on owning up for what you did or said, the fact that you’re sorry about it, and that you intend to remedy the situation. Do not attempt to rationalize what had occurred during a heated argument.\\nKnow that if there was a valid reason for the argument and for your role in it, that you should talk about it, but that that conversation ought to be independent of your apology.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Listen!\", \"描述\": \"Though it may seem counter-intuitive, listening may be the most important part of apologizing. Once you’ve made it clear that you are sorry, allow your loved one to speak and give them your full attention.\\nDon’t allow the potential discomfort of giving an apology to turn into a monologue that you may have to apologize for all over again.\\nWhenever you’re unsure or whether you should continue speaking, pause. If your loved one begins to speak, just listen.\\nDon’t try to anticipate anything the other person is going to say. They may still be too angry or hurt to receive your apology. Even if they’re still upset, let them make their point.\\nIf you’re feeling badly after a fight, recognize that the other person is too. Give them the time and space to articulate their feelings.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t discount the other person’s feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid attempting to downplay someone else’s negative feelings. Similarly, don’t act as though nothing happened. Acknowledge the feelings that they convey by responding specifically to each feeling they articulate.\\nUse “I”-statements when responding, such as “I understand you’re upset”, “I know I disappointed you”, I realize that I said some hurtful things”. These statements can stand alone, or be accompanied with another clear “I’m sorry.”\\nDo not attempt to explain yourself when they still have more to say.\\nAvoid being falsely cheerful, as this may seem insincere or even malicious.\\nSay something along the lines of “I know you’re upset. So am I. When we calm down, let’s talk about it and get through this.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practice your apology beforehand.\", \"描述\": \"Apologize for both specific things you said during the argument, and for allowing yourself to get heated in the first place. Convey they sincerity of your apology by knowing what you’re going to say – and why – ahead of time.\\nTell yourself, and the person to whom you are apologizing, that you have no agenda that motivates your apology other than healing the damage to your relationship that the argument may have caused.\\nChoose words and statements that are honest and heart-felt. Don’t try to be overly-eloquent or too analytical. Be direct; you might not need to say much.\\nEnsure that none of your sentiments are framed in an effort to deceive or manipulate your loved one. Never be duplicitous in conversations that are important to your own or others’ feelings.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Time your apology thoughtfully.\", \"描述\": \"Timing is especially important if you want your apology to come across as genuine. You certainly can’t give a heartfelt apology while you’re still worked up from the argument.\\nTake a moment. You and your loved one will likely need a while to regroup your thoughts and gain composure. Avoid rushing into an apology for both your sake and the sake of the person you fought with.\\nGo somewhere private. A walk may be your best option; fresh air can help clear the mind and calm you down. Allow yourself to address your heightened emotions privately.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Write a letter of apology.\", \"描述\": \"A letter is a great way to calmly and courteously convey an apology. Even if you decide to apologize in person, writing a letter before doing so can help you organize your thoughts, express your feelings, and plan exactly what you want to share with your loved one.\\nIf you’re not going to see the person with whom you argued for a while, a letter is great way to convey your apology without putting them on the spot, which you risk doing with a phone call.\\nAfter you’ve written your letter, reconsider what you’ve written. Do so either immediately or over the course of a few days, depending on how quickly you want to give an apology.\\nRight before delivering an apology letter, reread it one last time.\\nConsider allowing someone you trust to read over the letter to help ensure you haven’t included anything that might be interpreted differently than you intend.\\nDo not apologize via text or email. A text is not an appropriate medium with which to have a meaningful conversation. Emailed apologies may be appropriate for professional apologies, but not for personal apologies to people you know well.\\nFor more specific tips on apologizing, see the wikiHow on How to Apologize.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Re-establishing Trust After an Argument\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge the reason that you had a fight.\", \"描述\": \"The bad news is, there’s probably a reason that you fought, and it needs to be addressed. Don’t allow potential points of irritability or distance between the two of you to turn into deeper animosities by recognizing tensions before they lead to another fight.\\nSelf-reflection will lead to realizations that you can address after you’ve apologized.\\nSpecific questions you might ask yourself include:\\nWhat are the specific things I said or did that likely hurt the other person?\\nWas I intending to hurt the other person, or get back at them for something? If so, why did I do so?\\nDo interactions such as this often occur between you?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Include specific realizations about your behavior in conversations following an apology.\", \"描述\": \"The answers you provide for yourself to these questions can help inform the specific things you need to apologize for.\\nBe clear, by saying things like, “I’m really sorry about saying ______, I can see how hurtful that likely was.”\\nIf fights are recurring, bring it up, especially if you’re at fault. Say something like. “I’m sorry for fighting with you again. I recognize that my behavior needs to change. Are you willing to talk about this with me?”\\nLet it go! Alternatively, you may realize that there wasn’t a good reason for a fight – it was just an especially bad moment for one or both of you. If you’re sure there’s not an underlying issue that needs to be talked about, letting it go (after apologizing) might be the best route to take.\\nMore than likely there is something that needs to be addressed. Articulate not only the things you recognize that you did wrong, but also the things the other person said or did that hurt you, though do so after you’ve apologized.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Address potential causes of continued tension with your loved one.\", \"描述\": \"If you or your loved one feels as though one of your “gave in” during the fight, or didn’t get something off of their chest that they need to, there are likely unresolved issues between you.\\nFor instance, Ask each other, “Are you angry about how the argument ended?”\\nDid you try to convince your loved one to do something they didn’t want to do? Be sure to apologize and rescind any coercive agreements by saying things like, “I know I insisted on _______, and that I didn’t hear you out on why you disagreed. Let’s talk about it together, and I’ll be more open to your considerations.”\\nArticulate the things specific things that hurt of offended you that your loved one has said or done. Do so calmly, and avoid being accusatory, but you need to be clear about behavior that cannot continue. Say things likes, “It really hurt me when you said/did _______.”\\nBe ready to forgive your loved one, and expect the same, if you’re able to apologize to one another, have the constructive conversations to grow closer, and move on.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don’t hold grudges.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you are extremely upset or disgusted about what was said or done, recognize that holding onto the emotion of anger will not improve the situation for anyone. Ensure that there aren’t any grudges that may drive a wedge between the two of you.\\nDon’t persist in giving others the cold shoulder or the silent treatment.\\nSimilarly, if you find yourself being especially critical of one another, there are likely unresolved feelings that need to be discussed.\\nMonitor yourself and reflect on the observations you make about how you’re acting.\\nTake responsibility for your own actions by working to adjust your own behavior and being willing to speak openly and listen fully to your loved ones.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Commit to acting more appropriately.\", \"描述\": \"You need to make it clear that you intend not to repeat any hurtful behavior. Your apology is only as good as your willingness to ensure you don’t have to make the same apology again. \\nClearly and specifically articulate a commitment not to repeat any hurtful things you said or did.\\nEmphasize the fact that you do not want to hurt the other person, and are sorry for having done so.\\nFollowing egregious or repeated behavior during arguments with your loved ones, you may need to do more than apologize.\\nCommit to a plan or process to help you deal with whatever might be leading to your hurtful behavior, and seek professional guidance or join a support group to help you follow through on these commitments.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Give a token of apology.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t ever think that simply giving a gift is a sufficient apology. If you go the gift route, it needs to be something well-thought out that will be meaningful to the recipient.\\nIf you apologized in person, following it up with a letter about how much your relationship with the person means to you may be the best gift you can give someone.\\nThink of something the other person likes to do, and get them something accordingly.\\nTickets or passes to a show or other activity you know your loved one will enjoy are a great option, as you can go together. Spending time together is another great gift, as it indicates you’re hoping to maintain your connection.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Consummate the apology.\", \"描述\": \"If you fought with your romantic partner, tangibly re-establishing your commitment to one another is vital, not to mention (especially) enjoyable. Make-up sex has a reputation for solidifying a particularly gratifying reunion after a fight.\\nRemind one another, both verbally and tangibly (with kissing, hand-holding, hugging), that even though you are capable of hurting one another, that you’re still there for one another as well.\\nWhen emotionally excited by the stimulus of an intense fight, the pleasures of sex may be amplified by a psychological (and biological) phenomenon called the arousal transfer.\\nAllow the relief you’re both feeling on account of your reconciliation to spill over into a session of romantic reunion that reaffirms the bonds between you.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,779 | How to Apologize For Cheating on Your Partner | 1. How to Prepare for Your Apology
1-1. Determine why you cheated.
The first thing to understand is that cheating often signifies that there is something wrong, or missing with the person who cheated. The goal is to find out what that problem is, so once you and your partner overcome the initial shock of your actions, you can decide how to best address the problem. Consider the following questions:
Are you feeling insecure or unattractive?
Do you feel that something is missing in your relationship?
Are you satisfied with your sex life?
Are you (or were you, at the time of the infidelity) particularly stressed about some aspect of your life?
Even if it's the first time you've cheated, have you thought about it or wanted to cheat for some time now?
1-2. Determine whether you really want to stay with your partner.
Based upon your self-assessment from the previous step, you need to give serious thought to whether or not you really are committed to staying with your partner.
You hurt your partner, and thus your partner deserves your apology, even if you will eventually decide to go separate ways.
If you decide to stay together and try to move past this betrayal, the road will not necessarily be smooth, so you shouldn't be willing to put your partner through that if you aren't fully committed.
1-3. Spend some time writing about your relationship.
To help you figure out if you are interested in continuing your relationship, consider writing down your reasons: why do you want to stay together?
Try to be as specific as possible. Hopefully you do still love your partner—that should definitely go on the list—but it's fairly vague. What do you love about them? What do you enjoy about your relationship? How do you see your future together?
1-4. Understand what you are apologizing for.
Obviously you cheated, and you're going to have to apologize for that. However, you need to let your partner know that you fully understand how and in what ways you hurt them. Be ready to express the specific ways in which you damaged your relationship.
You didn't just cheat: you betrayed your partner's trust, you destroyed their idea of your relationship, you (perhaps) embarrassed your partner, and you possibly put your partner at risk for STDs.
2. How to Offer a Full and Sincere Apology
2-1. Keep it private.
You may be tempted to humble yourself publicly when apologizing to your partner. For example, you may think that your partner will be touched by your willingness to open yourself up to embarrassment and judgment by posting a long apology on your Facebook wall. All this does, though, is place the focus on you and make your private business public.
You should even think twice about doing things like sending bouquets of flowers or apology presents to your partner's workplace. This will only draw attention from their coworkers—they will want to know what the occasion is—and your partner may not want to discuss your relationship problems at that time and place and with those people.
2-2. Accept responsibility for your actions when you apologize.
It's important that you understand why you cheated, but an explanation is not the same thing as a justification.
Even if there are underlying problems in your relationship (for which you both may be responsible), you alone are responsible for cheating. Your goal in this discussion is to make sure your partner hears you acknowledge your mistake.
2-3. Avoid using “if” language.
You're not fully accepting responsibility if you frame your language by saying “I'm sorry if I hurt you,” or “If you hadn't turned me down so often I wouldn't have looked for a sexual outlet”. This sort of language will make your partner feel as though you are trying to shift the blame away from you.
Instead of saying “I'm sorry if I hurt you,” acknowledge the fact that you are the direct cause of your partner's suffering: “I know my actions hurt you, and for that, I'm very sorry.”
2-4. Be ready for hard questions.
Whether your partner caught you in the act, uncovered the evidence of your affair, or whether you confessed, s/he will most likely have a lot of questions for you.
Your partner may want to know the details of your affair: how you met, how often you were together, why you decided to stray, whether or not you love the other person, etc.
If you shut down now and refuse to answer your partner's questions, you are creating a wedge between the two of you. This will lead to further distrust and hurts your ability to communicate openly and honestly with one another.
2-5. Answer honestly, but kindly.
You need to avoid offering vague, elusive answers, but there's no reason for you to go into explicit detail about your hook-ups. For example, if you are asked what you found attractive about your lover, don't respond, “Well, Sam has the body of a model and the most piercing blue eyes I've seen”.
If your partner continues to press for details, you should be honest, but careful in how you phrase your answer: “I found Sam attractive, but that doesn't justify my transgression.”
You should certainly avoid comparing your partner to your lover when you answer your partner's questions. Don't say, “Sam is so much more open and giving than you”. This will only hurt your partner and deflects responsibility away from you.
2-6. Know that your partner may not be fully rational during this discussion.
Even if your partner has known about your affair for some time before you make this formal apology, you should not expect (or demand) that the conversation will be calm and rational. Emotions can be unpredictable, and you cannot dictate how your partner ought to feel about or respond to your apology.
If things get too emotional, you may need to give your partner some time and space to process before you attempt to finish offering your apology.
2-7. Offer your apology with no conditions attached.
Because you hurt your partner, you owe them an apology regardless of whether or not they decide to stay with you or not.
You shouldn't decide to apologize only if they are willing to forgive you or take you back. Your apology is not sincere if there are conditions upon it.
2-8. Deliver your apology without expecting to be taken back.
You deeply regret what you've done, and you may think if you can make your partner see how sorry you are and how much you are hurting, they will take you back. This is only natural, but you can't go into this thinking that so long as you do everything right when you apologize, that things will work out well.
You can't control whether your partner will be able to forgive you, and even if they can, they may not be able to trust you again.
2-9. Let your partner know what you want.
While you are not making your apology contingent upon your partner taking you back, it's perfectly fine for you to let your partner know that you hope to be forgiven or that you want the relationship to survive.
For example, try something like the following: “Pat, I know that my actions hurt you deeply and that I've damaged your ability to trust. For that, I am so sorry. I hope that you'll eventually be able to forgive me, and I'm committed to working hard for as long as it takes to restore your faith in me. But even if you can't commit to that, I hope you can believe just how sorry and regretful I am.”
2-10. Listen to your partner.
It's possible that after you've apologized to your partner, they will not want to speak with you at all, and if that's the case, you will need to respect their wishes. However, this apology isn't all about you—it is about and for your partner. If your partner wants or need to vent and express their feelings, then let them.
Make it clear to your partner that you hear them, and that you understand the extent to which you've hurt them. Do not interrupt your partner while they are speaking in order to try to justify or explain your actions
2-11. Show respect towards both your partner and yourself.
Cheating on your partner was hurtful and disrespectful, and you are now trying to make amends. Listening fully and attentively to your partner is one way to demonstrate respect towards them. However, while it's very important that you allow your partner to be heard, you should not tolerate abuse from your partner.
Even though you were in the wrong to cheat, nothing justifies abuse, so be prepared to leave if your partner becomes violent or verbally or emotionally abusive.
If your discussions become too heated, try responding in the following way: “I understand why you are angry, but your language right now is not acceptable. Let's talk later –maybe it would help if we went to counseling together.”
3. How to Move Forward
3-1. Cut off communication with your lover.
Obviously, both you and your partner have been affected by your infidelity. Don't forget, though, that you've brought another person into your lives when you cheated. For your relationship to have any chance of lasting, your partner cannot fear that you will cheat again—with anyone, but specifically with this person.
Your partner may want to be involved with this step, for they may want the reassurance that you've really ended things.
You need to contact the other person, explain that your actions were wrong, and be clear that you will not continue to see them romantically.
Whatever you do, do not promise your partner not to see your lover again but sneak off to see them, even if only to say goodbye. You must be sincere when you vow to cut off ties.
3-2. Set clear boundaries with your ex-lover if you can't remove them from your life.
It may not be possible to completely cut off ties with your lover if you cheated with a colleague or someone you absolutely cannot avoid. If that's the case, then you need to have a plan about how and when you will interact with your ex-lover.
Limit the contact you have with your ex-lover to the fullest extent possible. You may need to communicate professionally at business meetings, but you do not need to eat lunch together.
Be sure to offer your partner reassurances that the relationship will never again be inappropriate.
3-3. Keep communication lines open with your partner.
There isn't going to be any way you can put a band-aid on this situation. In order to fix it, you're going to have to reprove your love, which means dealing with your partner's lack of trust in you over a long period of time. This may mean that you need to consent to have less privacy, and you need to be willing to share the details of your day with your partner.
For example, your partner may want to have access to your social media sites, phone, and email. Consider granting them this access; if you don't, your partner will think that you are hiding something. If you aren't willing to make this concession, then you should reconsider whether or not the relationship is worth saving (or consider whether or not it still survive).
3-4. Give your partner reason to trust you.
Quite understandably, your partner may have trust issues for quite some time. If you're just a few minutes late getting home, it may seem like no big deal to you, but remember that you are starting from scratch. You need to be fully reliable.
If you say that you'll be home by 11:00, then be home by 11:00, not 11:15.
Similarly, be willing to contact your partner if you're going to be late or if plans change, and if at all possible, be willing to come home early if your partner requests that.
3-5. Understand that you are in a new relationship.
If your partner decides to give you another chance, you can't expect things to go back to the way they were. You are essentially starting over, and creating a new relationship together. You and your partner have both been changed by this experience, and you will have to learn to adapt to that.
3-6. Be patient.
You cannot control how long it will take for your partner to be able to forgive you and move past your betrayal. Indeed, things may go well for a time, and then your partner may unexpectedly be angry and mistrustful again. If you try to move forward too quickly and demand that things go back to normal in a short period of time, your partner will not feel respected.
If it is worth it to you to try to save the relationship, then you must be prepared to allow your partner to grieve on their own timeline, and you must also be willing to suffer setbacks.
You cannot control how long it will take for your partner to get over their anger and hurt, but you can control yourself: you can be consistent and reliable, and thus will demonstrate your remorse and commitment to your partner.
3-7. Be open to counseling.
It's not absolutely necessary that you and your partner seek professional help in order for your relationship to survive this infidelity. However, there's very little chance that your relationship will be hurt as a result of going to counseling, and there's an even greater chance that your relationship will improve because of counseling. Thus, you don't have much to lose.
As a neutral (and expert) third-party, a counselor or therapist can provide a safe space for both you and your partner to express yourselves, examine your relationship, help you come up with a specific game-plan, and assess your progress.
By offering to go to counseling, you also send the message to your partner that you are fully committed to repairing the damage you've done and doing what you can to earn your partner's trust back.
3-8. Be an 'A' student at counseling.
Of course, if you do go to counseling, you must be fully engaged in the process. It's not enough to just show up at the therapist's office once or twice a week but expect your partner to do all the talking.
Answer your therapist's and partner's questions fully and honestly, and give any proposed exercises or relationship homework your honest effort.
3-9. Protect yourself throughout this process.
Even though you have done the hard work of admitting your mistake and working to save your relationship—which may require you to give up a certain amount of your freedom and privacy—be careful not to make concessions that fundamentally change who you are or violate your integrity.
If you feel that you are losing yourself in the process of making it up to your partner, or if you feel abused, it's time for you to reassess the relationship.
You may need to accept that it's time to move on, or if you haven't already, seek professional help.
Sometimes, affairs are a sign that the relationship is damaged or over.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:08",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. How to Prepare for Your Apology\\n1-1. Determine why you cheated.\\nThe first thing to understand is that cheating often signifies that there is something wrong, or missing with the person who cheated. The goal is to find out what that problem is, so once you and your partner overcome the initial shock of your actions, you can decide how to best address the problem. Consider the following questions:\\nAre you feeling insecure or unattractive?\\nDo you feel that something is missing in your relationship?\\nAre you satisfied with your sex life?\\nAre you (or were you, at the time of the infidelity) particularly stressed about some aspect of your life?\\nEven if it's the first time you've cheated, have you thought about it or wanted to cheat for some time now?\\n1-2. Determine whether you really want to stay with your partner.\\nBased upon your self-assessment from the previous step, you need to give serious thought to whether or not you really are committed to staying with your partner.\\nYou hurt your partner, and thus your partner deserves your apology, even if you will eventually decide to go separate ways.\\nIf you decide to stay together and try to move past this betrayal, the road will not necessarily be smooth, so you shouldn't be willing to put your partner through that if you aren't fully committed.\\n1-3. Spend some time writing about your relationship.\\nTo help you figure out if you are interested in continuing your relationship, consider writing down your reasons: why do you want to stay together?\\nTry to be as specific as possible. Hopefully you do still love your partner—that should definitely go on the list—but it's fairly vague. What do you love about them? What do you enjoy about your relationship? How do you see your future together?\\n1-4. Understand what you are apologizing for.\\nObviously you cheated, and you're going to have to apologize for that. However, you need to let your partner know that you fully understand how and in what ways you hurt them. Be ready to express the specific ways in which you damaged your relationship.\\nYou didn't just cheat: you betrayed your partner's trust, you destroyed their idea of your relationship, you (perhaps) embarrassed your partner, and you possibly put your partner at risk for STDs.\\n2. How to Offer a Full and Sincere Apology\\n2-1. Keep it private.\\nYou may be tempted to humble yourself publicly when apologizing to your partner. For example, you may think that your partner will be touched by your willingness to open yourself up to embarrassment and judgment by posting a long apology on your Facebook wall. All this does, though, is place the focus on you and make your private business public.\\nYou should even think twice about doing things like sending bouquets of flowers or apology presents to your partner's workplace. This will only draw attention from their coworkers—they will want to know what the occasion is—and your partner may not want to discuss your relationship problems at that time and place and with those people.\\n2-2. Accept responsibility for your actions when you apologize.\\nIt's important that you understand why you cheated, but an explanation is not the same thing as a justification.\\nEven if there are underlying problems in your relationship (for which you both may be responsible), you alone are responsible for cheating. Your goal in this discussion is to make sure your partner hears you acknowledge your mistake.\\n2-3. Avoid using “if” language.\\nYou're not fully accepting responsibility if you frame your language by saying “I'm sorry if I hurt you,” or “If you hadn't turned me down so often I wouldn't have looked for a sexual outlet”. This sort of language will make your partner feel as though you are trying to shift the blame away from you.\\nInstead of saying “I'm sorry if I hurt you,” acknowledge the fact that you are the direct cause of your partner's suffering: “I know my actions hurt you, and for that, I'm very sorry.”\\n2-4. Be ready for hard questions.\\nWhether your partner caught you in the act, uncovered the evidence of your affair, or whether you confessed, s/he will most likely have a lot of questions for you.\\nYour partner may want to know the details of your affair: how you met, how often you were together, why you decided to stray, whether or not you love the other person, etc.\\nIf you shut down now and refuse to answer your partner's questions, you are creating a wedge between the two of you. This will lead to further distrust and hurts your ability to communicate openly and honestly with one another.\\n2-5. Answer honestly, but kindly.\\nYou need to avoid offering vague, elusive answers, but there's no reason for you to go into explicit detail about your hook-ups. For example, if you are asked what you found attractive about your lover, don't respond, “Well, Sam has the body of a model and the most piercing blue eyes I've seen”.\\nIf your partner continues to press for details, you should be honest, but careful in how you phrase your answer: “I found Sam attractive, but that doesn't justify my transgression.”\\nYou should certainly avoid comparing your partner to your lover when you answer your partner's questions. Don't say, “Sam is so much more open and giving than you”. This will only hurt your partner and deflects responsibility away from you.\\n2-6. Know that your partner may not be fully rational during this discussion.\\nEven if your partner has known about your affair for some time before you make this formal apology, you should not expect (or demand) that the conversation will be calm and rational. Emotions can be unpredictable, and you cannot dictate how your partner ought to feel about or respond to your apology.\\nIf things get too emotional, you may need to give your partner some time and space to process before you attempt to finish offering your apology.\\n2-7. Offer your apology with no conditions attached.\\nBecause you hurt your partner, you owe them an apology regardless of whether or not they decide to stay with you or not.\\nYou shouldn't decide to apologize only if they are willing to forgive you or take you back. Your apology is not sincere if there are conditions upon it.\\n2-8. Deliver your apology without expecting to be taken back.\\nYou deeply regret what you've done, and you may think if you can make your partner see how sorry you are and how much you are hurting, they will take you back. This is only natural, but you can't go into this thinking that so long as you do everything right when you apologize, that things will work out well.\\nYou can't control whether your partner will be able to forgive you, and even if they can, they may not be able to trust you again.\\n2-9. Let your partner know what you want.\\nWhile you are not making your apology contingent upon your partner taking you back, it's perfectly fine for you to let your partner know that you hope to be forgiven or that you want the relationship to survive.\\nFor example, try something like the following: “Pat, I know that my actions hurt you deeply and that I've damaged your ability to trust. For that, I am so sorry. I hope that you'll eventually be able to forgive me, and I'm committed to working hard for as long as it takes to restore your faith in me. But even if you can't commit to that, I hope you can believe just how sorry and regretful I am.”\\n2-10. Listen to your partner.\\nIt's possible that after you've apologized to your partner, they will not want to speak with you at all, and if that's the case, you will need to respect their wishes. However, this apology isn't all about you—it is about and for your partner. If your partner wants or need to vent and express their feelings, then let them.\\nMake it clear to your partner that you hear them, and that you understand the extent to which you've hurt them. Do not interrupt your partner while they are speaking in order to try to justify or explain your actions\\n2-11. Show respect towards both your partner and yourself.\\nCheating on your partner was hurtful and disrespectful, and you are now trying to make amends. Listening fully and attentively to your partner is one way to demonstrate respect towards them. However, while it's very important that you allow your partner to be heard, you should not tolerate abuse from your partner.\\nEven though you were in the wrong to cheat, nothing justifies abuse, so be prepared to leave if your partner becomes violent or verbally or emotionally abusive.\\nIf your discussions become too heated, try responding in the following way: “I understand why you are angry, but your language right now is not acceptable. Let's talk later –maybe it would help if we went to counseling together.”\\n3. How to Move Forward\\n3-1. Cut off communication with your lover.\\nObviously, both you and your partner have been affected by your infidelity. Don't forget, though, that you've brought another person into your lives when you cheated. For your relationship to have any chance of lasting, your partner cannot fear that you will cheat again—with anyone, but specifically with this person.\\nYour partner may want to be involved with this step, for they may want the reassurance that you've really ended things.\\nYou need to contact the other person, explain that your actions were wrong, and be clear that you will not continue to see them romantically.\\nWhatever you do, do not promise your partner not to see your lover again but sneak off to see them, even if only to say goodbye. You must be sincere when you vow to cut off ties.\\n3-2. Set clear boundaries with your ex-lover if you can't remove them from your life.\\nIt may not be possible to completely cut off ties with your lover if you cheated with a colleague or someone you absolutely cannot avoid. If that's the case, then you need to have a plan about how and when you will interact with your ex-lover.\\nLimit the contact you have with your ex-lover to the fullest extent possible. You may need to communicate professionally at business meetings, but you do not need to eat lunch together.\\nBe sure to offer your partner reassurances that the relationship will never again be inappropriate.\\n3-3. Keep communication lines open with your partner.\\nThere isn't going to be any way you can put a band-aid on this situation. In order to fix it, you're going to have to reprove your love, which means dealing with your partner's lack of trust in you over a long period of time. This may mean that you need to consent to have less privacy, and you need to be willing to share the details of your day with your partner.\\nFor example, your partner may want to have access to your social media sites, phone, and email. Consider granting them this access; if you don't, your partner will think that you are hiding something. If you aren't willing to make this concession, then you should reconsider whether or not the relationship is worth saving (or consider whether or not it still survive).\\n3-4. Give your partner reason to trust you.\\nQuite understandably, your partner may have trust issues for quite some time. If you're just a few minutes late getting home, it may seem like no big deal to you, but remember that you are starting from scratch. You need to be fully reliable.\\nIf you say that you'll be home by 11:00, then be home by 11:00, not 11:15.\\nSimilarly, be willing to contact your partner if you're going to be late or if plans change, and if at all possible, be willing to come home early if your partner requests that.\\n3-5. Understand that you are in a new relationship.\\nIf your partner decides to give you another chance, you can't expect things to go back to the way they were. You are essentially starting over, and creating a new relationship together. You and your partner have both been changed by this experience, and you will have to learn to adapt to that.\\n3-6. Be patient.\\nYou cannot control how long it will take for your partner to be able to forgive you and move past your betrayal. Indeed, things may go well for a time, and then your partner may unexpectedly be angry and mistrustful again. If you try to move forward too quickly and demand that things go back to normal in a short period of time, your partner will not feel respected. \\nIf it is worth it to you to try to save the relationship, then you must be prepared to allow your partner to grieve on their own timeline, and you must also be willing to suffer setbacks.\\nYou cannot control how long it will take for your partner to get over their anger and hurt, but you can control yourself: you can be consistent and reliable, and thus will demonstrate your remorse and commitment to your partner.\\n3-7. Be open to counseling.\\nIt's not absolutely necessary that you and your partner seek professional help in order for your relationship to survive this infidelity. However, there's very little chance that your relationship will be hurt as a result of going to counseling, and there's an even greater chance that your relationship will improve because of counseling. Thus, you don't have much to lose.\\nAs a neutral (and expert) third-party, a counselor or therapist can provide a safe space for both you and your partner to express yourselves, examine your relationship, help you come up with a specific game-plan, and assess your progress.\\nBy offering to go to counseling, you also send the message to your partner that you are fully committed to repairing the damage you've done and doing what you can to earn your partner's trust back.\\n3-8. Be an 'A' student at counseling.\\nOf course, if you do go to counseling, you must be fully engaged in the process. It's not enough to just show up at the therapist's office once or twice a week but expect your partner to do all the talking.\\nAnswer your therapist's and partner's questions fully and honestly, and give any proposed exercises or relationship homework your honest effort.\\n3-9. Protect yourself throughout this process.\\nEven though you have done the hard work of admitting your mistake and working to save your relationship—which may require you to give up a certain amount of your freedom and privacy—be careful not to make concessions that fundamentally change who you are or violate your integrity.\\nIf you feel that you are losing yourself in the process of making it up to your partner, or if you feel abused, it's time for you to reassess the relationship.\\nYou may need to accept that it's time to move on, or if you haven't already, seek professional help.\\nSometimes, affairs are a sign that the relationship is damaged or over.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Infidelity is a major betrayal, and there is no guarantee that your relationship can be saved after you've cheated. Some relationships can survive, however, and with work, can even be made stronger. Both partners can learn more about themselves, their values, and the importance of their relationship in their lives. The road to recovery is a two-way street, where both partners must be committed to learning from the betrayal, offering and accepting forgiveness, and recommitting themselves to staying together. Nonetheless, even though both partners must be involved, the journey begins with the one who cheated. \\nIf you've cheated, you will need to offer a sincere and full apology to your partner.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"How to Prepare for Your Apology\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determine why you cheated.\", \"描述\": \"The first thing to understand is that cheating often signifies that there is something wrong, or missing with the person who cheated. The goal is to find out what that problem is, so once you and your partner overcome the initial shock of your actions, you can decide how to best address the problem. Consider the following questions:\\nAre you feeling insecure or unattractive?\\nDo you feel that something is missing in your relationship?\\nAre you satisfied with your sex life?\\nAre you (or were you, at the time of the infidelity) particularly stressed about some aspect of your life?\\nEven if it's the first time you've cheated, have you thought about it or wanted to cheat for some time now?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Determine whether you really want to stay with your partner.\", \"描述\": \"Based upon your self-assessment from the previous step, you need to give serious thought to whether or not you really are committed to staying with your partner.\\nYou hurt your partner, and thus your partner deserves your apology, even if you will eventually decide to go separate ways.\\nIf you decide to stay together and try to move past this betrayal, the road will not necessarily be smooth, so you shouldn't be willing to put your partner through that if you aren't fully committed.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Spend some time writing about your relationship.\", \"描述\": \"To help you figure out if you are interested in continuing your relationship, consider writing down your reasons: why do you want to stay together?\\nTry to be as specific as possible. Hopefully you do still love your partner—that should definitely go on the list—but it's fairly vague. What do you love about them? What do you enjoy about your relationship? How do you see your future together?\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Understand what you are apologizing for.\", \"描述\": \"Obviously you cheated, and you're going to have to apologize for that. However, you need to let your partner know that you fully understand how and in what ways you hurt them. Be ready to express the specific ways in which you damaged your relationship.\\nYou didn't just cheat: you betrayed your partner's trust, you destroyed their idea of your relationship, you (perhaps) embarrassed your partner, and you possibly put your partner at risk for STDs.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"How to Offer a Full and Sincere Apology\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep it private.\", \"描述\": \"You may be tempted to humble yourself publicly when apologizing to your partner. For example, you may think that your partner will be touched by your willingness to open yourself up to embarrassment and judgment by posting a long apology on your Facebook wall. All this does, though, is place the focus on you and make your private business public.\\nYou should even think twice about doing things like sending bouquets of flowers or apology presents to your partner's workplace. This will only draw attention from their coworkers—they will want to know what the occasion is—and your partner may not want to discuss your relationship problems at that time and place and with those people.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Accept responsibility for your actions when you apologize.\", \"描述\": \"It's important that you understand why you cheated, but an explanation is not the same thing as a justification.\\nEven if there are underlying problems in your relationship (for which you both may be responsible), you alone are responsible for cheating. Your goal in this discussion is to make sure your partner hears you acknowledge your mistake.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid using “if” language.\", \"描述\": \"You're not fully accepting responsibility if you frame your language by saying “I'm sorry if I hurt you,” or “If you hadn't turned me down so often I wouldn't have looked for a sexual outlet”. This sort of language will make your partner feel as though you are trying to shift the blame away from you.\\nInstead of saying “I'm sorry if I hurt you,” acknowledge the fact that you are the direct cause of your partner's suffering: “I know my actions hurt you, and for that, I'm very sorry.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be ready for hard questions.\", \"描述\": \"Whether your partner caught you in the act, uncovered the evidence of your affair, or whether you confessed, s/he will most likely have a lot of questions for you.\\nYour partner may want to know the details of your affair: how you met, how often you were together, why you decided to stray, whether or not you love the other person, etc.\\nIf you shut down now and refuse to answer your partner's questions, you are creating a wedge between the two of you. This will lead to further distrust and hurts your ability to communicate openly and honestly with one another.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Answer honestly, but kindly.\", \"描述\": \"You need to avoid offering vague, elusive answers, but there's no reason for you to go into explicit detail about your hook-ups. For example, if you are asked what you found attractive about your lover, don't respond, “Well, Sam has the body of a model and the most piercing blue eyes I've seen”.\\nIf your partner continues to press for details, you should be honest, but careful in how you phrase your answer: “I found Sam attractive, but that doesn't justify my transgression.”\\nYou should certainly avoid comparing your partner to your lover when you answer your partner's questions. Don't say, “Sam is so much more open and giving than you”. This will only hurt your partner and deflects responsibility away from you.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Know that your partner may not be fully rational during this discussion.\", \"描述\": \"Even if your partner has known about your affair for some time before you make this formal apology, you should not expect (or demand) that the conversation will be calm and rational. Emotions can be unpredictable, and you cannot dictate how your partner ought to feel about or respond to your apology.\\nIf things get too emotional, you may need to give your partner some time and space to process before you attempt to finish offering your apology.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Offer your apology with no conditions attached.\", \"描述\": \"Because you hurt your partner, you owe them an apology regardless of whether or not they decide to stay with you or not.\\nYou shouldn't decide to apologize only if they are willing to forgive you or take you back. Your apology is not sincere if there are conditions upon it.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Deliver your apology without expecting to be taken back.\", \"描述\": \"You deeply regret what you've done, and you may think if you can make your partner see how sorry you are and how much you are hurting, they will take you back. This is only natural, but you can't go into this thinking that so long as you do everything right when you apologize, that things will work out well.\\nYou can't control whether your partner will be able to forgive you, and even if they can, they may not be able to trust you again.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Let your partner know what you want.\", \"描述\": \"While you are not making your apology contingent upon your partner taking you back, it's perfectly fine for you to let your partner know that you hope to be forgiven or that you want the relationship to survive.\\nFor example, try something like the following: “Pat, I know that my actions hurt you deeply and that I've damaged your ability to trust. For that, I am so sorry. I hope that you'll eventually be able to forgive me, and I'm committed to working hard for as long as it takes to restore your faith in me. But even if you can't commit to that, I hope you can believe just how sorry and regretful I am.”\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Listen to your partner.\", \"描述\": \"It's possible that after you've apologized to your partner, they will not want to speak with you at all, and if that's the case, you will need to respect their wishes. However, this apology isn't all about you—it is about and for your partner. If your partner wants or need to vent and express their feelings, then let them.\\nMake it clear to your partner that you hear them, and that you understand the extent to which you've hurt them. Do not interrupt your partner while they are speaking in order to try to justify or explain your actions\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Show respect towards both your partner and yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Cheating on your partner was hurtful and disrespectful, and you are now trying to make amends. Listening fully and attentively to your partner is one way to demonstrate respect towards them. However, while it's very important that you allow your partner to be heard, you should not tolerate abuse from your partner.\\nEven though you were in the wrong to cheat, nothing justifies abuse, so be prepared to leave if your partner becomes violent or verbally or emotionally abusive.\\nIf your discussions become too heated, try responding in the following way: “I understand why you are angry, but your language right now is not acceptable. Let's talk later –maybe it would help if we went to counseling together.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"How to Move Forward\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Cut off communication with your lover.\", \"描述\": \"Obviously, both you and your partner have been affected by your infidelity. Don't forget, though, that you've brought another person into your lives when you cheated. For your relationship to have any chance of lasting, your partner cannot fear that you will cheat again—with anyone, but specifically with this person.\\nYour partner may want to be involved with this step, for they may want the reassurance that you've really ended things.\\nYou need to contact the other person, explain that your actions were wrong, and be clear that you will not continue to see them romantically.\\nWhatever you do, do not promise your partner not to see your lover again but sneak off to see them, even if only to say goodbye. You must be sincere when you vow to cut off ties.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Set clear boundaries with your ex-lover if you can't remove them from your life.\", \"描述\": \"It may not be possible to completely cut off ties with your lover if you cheated with a colleague or someone you absolutely cannot avoid. If that's the case, then you need to have a plan about how and when you will interact with your ex-lover.\\nLimit the contact you have with your ex-lover to the fullest extent possible. You may need to communicate professionally at business meetings, but you do not need to eat lunch together.\\nBe sure to offer your partner reassurances that the relationship will never again be inappropriate.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep communication lines open with your partner.\", \"描述\": \"There isn't going to be any way you can put a band-aid on this situation. In order to fix it, you're going to have to reprove your love, which means dealing with your partner's lack of trust in you over a long period of time. This may mean that you need to consent to have less privacy, and you need to be willing to share the details of your day with your partner.\\nFor example, your partner may want to have access to your social media sites, phone, and email. Consider granting them this access; if you don't, your partner will think that you are hiding something. If you aren't willing to make this concession, then you should reconsider whether or not the relationship is worth saving (or consider whether or not it still survive).\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Give your partner reason to trust you.\", \"描述\": \"Quite understandably, your partner may have trust issues for quite some time. If you're just a few minutes late getting home, it may seem like no big deal to you, but remember that you are starting from scratch. You need to be fully reliable.\\nIf you say that you'll be home by 11:00, then be home by 11:00, not 11:15.\\nSimilarly, be willing to contact your partner if you're going to be late or if plans change, and if at all possible, be willing to come home early if your partner requests that.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Understand that you are in a new relationship.\", \"描述\": \"If your partner decides to give you another chance, you can't expect things to go back to the way they were. You are essentially starting over, and creating a new relationship together. You and your partner have both been changed by this experience, and you will have to learn to adapt to that.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be patient.\", \"描述\": \"You cannot control how long it will take for your partner to be able to forgive you and move past your betrayal. Indeed, things may go well for a time, and then your partner may unexpectedly be angry and mistrustful again. If you try to move forward too quickly and demand that things go back to normal in a short period of time, your partner will not feel respected. \\nIf it is worth it to you to try to save the relationship, then you must be prepared to allow your partner to grieve on their own timeline, and you must also be willing to suffer setbacks.\\nYou cannot control how long it will take for your partner to get over their anger and hurt, but you can control yourself: you can be consistent and reliable, and thus will demonstrate your remorse and commitment to your partner.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be open to counseling.\", \"描述\": \"It's not absolutely necessary that you and your partner seek professional help in order for your relationship to survive this infidelity. However, there's very little chance that your relationship will be hurt as a result of going to counseling, and there's an even greater chance that your relationship will improve because of counseling. Thus, you don't have much to lose.\\nAs a neutral (and expert) third-party, a counselor or therapist can provide a safe space for both you and your partner to express yourselves, examine your relationship, help you come up with a specific game-plan, and assess your progress.\\nBy offering to go to counseling, you also send the message to your partner that you are fully committed to repairing the damage you've done and doing what you can to earn your partner's trust back.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Be an 'A' student at counseling.\", \"描述\": \"Of course, if you do go to counseling, you must be fully engaged in the process. It's not enough to just show up at the therapist's office once or twice a week but expect your partner to do all the talking.\\nAnswer your therapist's and partner's questions fully and honestly, and give any proposed exercises or relationship homework your honest effort.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Protect yourself throughout this process.\", \"描述\": \"Even though you have done the hard work of admitting your mistake and working to save your relationship—which may require you to give up a certain amount of your freedom and privacy—be careful not to make concessions that fundamentally change who you are or violate your integrity.\\nIf you feel that you are losing yourself in the process of making it up to your partner, or if you feel abused, it's time for you to reassess the relationship.\\nYou may need to accept that it's time to move on, or if you haven't already, seek professional help.\\nSometimes, affairs are a sign that the relationship is damaged or over.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,780 | How to Apologize for Being Late to Work | 1. Writing an Apology Email or Letter
1-1. Send an apology email or letter if you happen to be exceptionally late.
In the event that you’re a no-show for more than an hour, it may be a good idea to follow up your face-to-face apology with a written one. Taking the time to compose a formal letter will show that you’re genuinely remorseful and help you get back into your employer’s good graces.
You should also think about writing an apology letter if you’ve already had one or more violations in the past, or if your tardiness caused a major problem for your company, such as a lost client or safety violation.
1-2. Use a formal structure for your letter.
Place your full name, address, and email address at the top of the letter. On the following line, note the date that you’re writing. Beneath that, display your boss's name and email address and the physical address of the company.
If you work for a large company, put down the local address of your workplace rather than the business’s headquarters.
1-3. Open your letter with a traditional greeting.
Start with the word “Dear,” followed by your boss’s appropriate title. It’s customary to use a given title like "Mr.", “Mrs.", or “Miss,” even if you’re ordinarily on casual terms. Never refer to your employer by their first name.
Most apology letters will open with a line like, “Dear Miss Morgan” or “Dear Mr. Singh.”
If you don’t feel comfortable using the word “Dear,” it’s alright to drop it and just say “Miss Morgan,” followed by a comma.
Be careful not to sound too familiar with your employer. Doing so could come across as disrespectful.
1-4. Present your apology in the body of the letter.
Explain that the purpose of your letter is to go above and beyond a simple verbal apology. Then, summarize your reason for being late, even if you’ve already talked it out with your boss in person. Don’t forget to note the date and time to provide context for the situation.
Your explanation might read, "I want to offer my sincerest apologies for being two hours late to work this past Friday, August 10th, 2018. I had an unexpected crisis at home that demanded my attention. I understand that my absence came at an inopportune moment for the company, and I would like to say once again how sorry I am."
Keep the body of your letter short and sweet. Ideally, it should consist of only a few lines—your opening, a brief explanation, and a final acknowledgement of wrongdoing.
1-5. Show that you understand the consequences of your tardiness.
Since it’s hard to take away a sense of tone from a written apology, you’ll want to include a line that conveys that you regret being late. Acknowledge how your mistake impacted your employer and coworkers, or what it cost the company if there were financial consequences.
As an example, you might write, "I realize that by missing my 10 am appointment I not only lost a potential client but also damaged our company’s credibility as a dependable consultant with an emphasis on customer satisfaction.”
1-6. End your letter by stating how you plan to make up for your mistake.
Explain how you plan to avoid being late in future. Describe the exact steps you’ll take to follow through on your pledge, such as leaving earlier or scheduling your appointments more prudently. This will show that you’re focused on actionable solutions, not just empty excuses.
A closing line like, "I've asked a trusted neighbor to be available to help with the dogs so that a situation like this morning’s doesn’t happen again” will be taken as a sign of good faith.
1-7. Express your gratitude before signing off.
Thank your boss for their patience and understanding, and for taking the time to read your letter. Ending things on a gracious note will help soothe any lingering feelings of resentment and set a positive tone for future interactions.
Your final line doesn’t have to be anything too extravagant: "I appreciate how gracious you’ve been throughout this whole ordeal, and I’m eager for another chance to prove my loyalty to the company."
If nothing else, include a short gesture of thanks like, “Thank you for being understanding of these difficulties and my plans to correct them.”
1-8. Sign your name at the bottom of the letter by hand.
Leave a little space beneath your closing where you can put your signature once you’ve printed your letter. If you decide to send it as an email instead, it’s okay to simply type out your first and last name. Be sure to use the name you go by most often at the workplace.
If you wish, you can include a complimentary closing line like “Sincerely” or “With respect” before your signature.
Listing your job title below your name may help your recipient identify you more easily if you work in a large company with multiple departments.
2. Calling Ahead
2-1. Gauge how late you're going to be.
Take stock of the conditions holding you up and estimate how much longer it will be until you can make it in. Depending on what you do, a few minutes may not be the end of the world. If you think you’ll be delayed for a while, however, you should always make it a point to let someone know.
Consider how long it will take you to resolve your current situation in order to give a more accurate estimate. If you’re stuck in traffic, for example, use a navigation app that provides live traffic updates to find out how fast things are moving up ahead.
Giving your employer an idea of when they can expect you to arrive will put them at ease and allow them to make any necessary adjustments to the schedule.
2-2. Call your workplace when you're going to be more than 5 minutes late.
Unless you’re confident you can make it in on time despite the setback, it’s usually best to pick up the phone and let someone know you’re running behind. Inform them of what’s going on and how much longer it will be before you can get there.
If you have no way of knowing how late you’ll ultimately be, err on the side of caution and call anyway.
2-3. Take the day’s events into consideration and call sooner if necessary.
Your tardiness may cause more of an issue depending on what you’ve got going that day. If your store is running a big sale or you’ve got an important meeting on the books, for instance, you’ll definitely want to alert your employer or client right away.
If you phone right away, someone else may be able to cover for you until you arrive.
2-4. Ask to speak directly to your boss.
Once you’ve got someone on the phone, request to be put on the line with your manager, shift leader, or one of your boss’s direct subordinates. This will help ensure that the message gets relayed to the right person.
If you have important information to share, leave it with your boss’s receptionist or administrative assistant. These people usually take notes, so there will be a record of your call.
Avoid sharing your status with a coworker. If they get busy or distracted, they may forget to pass the word along.
3. Apologizing in Person
3-1. Address the matter with your boss as soon as you show up.
Make issuing your apologizing priority #1 after you walk in the door. Chances are, your boss will wave it off and you can get to work. Otherwise, they’ll have a chance to talk to you about it before you punch in.
You should give an apology in person even if you called in beforehand to tell your employer that you were going to be late.
If you put off apologizing because you’re busy or dread facing your boss, you may end up looking indifferent or irresponsible, which can reflect poorly on you as an employee.
3-2. Offer a brief explanation for why you’re late.
Once you’ve got your boss’s ear, give them an account of the circumstances that caused your tardiness. Your apology should be explicit, truthful, and to-the-point. The more elaborate a tale you tell, the more it will sound like you’re just trying to cover for yourself.
There’s no need to dress up your story with unnecessary details. Just say something like, "I’m sorry I was a few minutes late today. My youngest child got sick right when I was about to head out the door.”
Avoid sharing the day’s events if they’re not work-appropriate. If you were late because you got distracted by a personal phone call or spent an hour on the toilet with tummy trouble, it may be better to not give a reason at all.
3-3. Be sincere.
As you issue your apology, make an effort to sound properly remorseful. Your boss will be able to tell if you don’t really mean what you’re saying. Your best bet is to simply be honest and accept responsibility for your mistake.
Don't laugh, joke, or try to brush off your tardiness as insignificant. Making light of the situation could be interpreted as a sign of disrespect.
3-4. End the conversation with a "thank you."
Regardless of whether your boss chews you out or lets you off the hook, take a moment to express your gratitude. After all, they’re the reason you still have a job. Ingratiating yourself to them might might also help soften them up a little if they’re on the warpath over your late arrival.
As a way of showing your appreciation for leniency, you might say something like, “Thank you for being so understanding. I promise it won’t happen again.”
It can be tough to swallow your pride in front of your supervisor, but it’s the most diplomatic course of action, especially when you’re late as a result of your own actions.
4. Being Honest and Dependable
4-1. Avoid lying or making excuses.
It can be tempting to make up a story to explain your tardiness, but resist the urge. The reason why you're late ultimately matters less than making it clear that you intend to do everything in your power to keep it from happening again. Besides, if your cover story is discovered to be false, it will only make you look worse.
Even small embellishments could land you in hot water. All it would take is a radio traffic report to disprove your claim that you were late due to a pileup on the interstate.
Focusing on how your actions have affected others tends to make a better impression than trying to downplay the mistake. "Thank you for adjusting your schedule on such short notice," for instance, sounds better than, "There was a big wreck on the interstate."
4-2. Wait until after meetings to apologize, if applicable.
The only time you shouldn't say sorry right off the bat is when there’s an important meeting going on. In that case, it's best to just walk in and join the meeting in progress. Your apology can wait until afterwards.
Make as little noise as possible as you slip in to avoid drawing any more unnecessary attention to yourself.
Not only would apologizing during a meeting disrupt the proceedings, it would also add to your embarrassment by having to admit it in front of your higher-ups and coworkers.
4-3. Do your best to avoid being late in the future.
Of course, everyone is late from time to time. If you start to develop a habit, however, you’ll inevitably come to be viewed as an unreliable employee. No matter how often or how sincerely you explain yourself, repeating your mistake suggests you're not actually sorry for what you've done.
If necessary, start waking up half an hour earlier to give yourself a little cushion for your morning routine or commute.
It’s possible that you could be reprimanded, penalized, or even fired for being chronically late.
Tips
Punctuality is an important part of every job, but some employers take it more seriously than others. If your company has a strict tardiness policy, you should plan on getting in touch regardless of how late you're going to be.
Try to break the news to your employer before someone else does. You don’t want them to have to hear it from someone else.
Offer to do something to make it up to your boss, if you think it’s necessary. You might volunteer to stay late, or to take on extra work as part of a group project.
Warnings
Your employer may not take issue with you running a little behind every now and then, but some companies have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to tardiness. If you say you’re going to do better in the future, be prepared to follow through. Otherwise, it could cost you your job.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:08",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Writing an Apology Email or Letter\\n1-1. Send an apology email or letter if you happen to be exceptionally late.\\nIn the event that you’re a no-show for more than an hour, it may be a good idea to follow up your face-to-face apology with a written one. Taking the time to compose a formal letter will show that you’re genuinely remorseful and help you get back into your employer’s good graces.\\nYou should also think about writing an apology letter if you’ve already had one or more violations in the past, or if your tardiness caused a major problem for your company, such as a lost client or safety violation.\\n1-2. Use a formal structure for your letter.\\nPlace your full name, address, and email address at the top of the letter. On the following line, note the date that you’re writing. Beneath that, display your boss's name and email address and the physical address of the company.\\nIf you work for a large company, put down the local address of your workplace rather than the business’s headquarters.\\n1-3. Open your letter with a traditional greeting.\\nStart with the word “Dear,” followed by your boss’s appropriate title. It’s customary to use a given title like \\\"Mr.\\\", “Mrs.\\\", or “Miss,” even if you’re ordinarily on casual terms. Never refer to your employer by their first name.\\nMost apology letters will open with a line like, “Dear Miss Morgan” or “Dear Mr. Singh.”\\nIf you don’t feel comfortable using the word “Dear,” it’s alright to drop it and just say “Miss Morgan,” followed by a comma.\\nBe careful not to sound too familiar with your employer. Doing so could come across as disrespectful.\\n1-4. Present your apology in the body of the letter.\\nExplain that the purpose of your letter is to go above and beyond a simple verbal apology. Then, summarize your reason for being late, even if you’ve already talked it out with your boss in person. Don’t forget to note the date and time to provide context for the situation.\\nYour explanation might read, \\\"I want to offer my sincerest apologies for being two hours late to work this past Friday, August 10th, 2018. I had an unexpected crisis at home that demanded my attention. I understand that my absence came at an inopportune moment for the company, and I would like to say once again how sorry I am.\\\"\\nKeep the body of your letter short and sweet. Ideally, it should consist of only a few lines—your opening, a brief explanation, and a final acknowledgement of wrongdoing.\\n1-5. Show that you understand the consequences of your tardiness.\\nSince it’s hard to take away a sense of tone from a written apology, you’ll want to include a line that conveys that you regret being late. Acknowledge how your mistake impacted your employer and coworkers, or what it cost the company if there were financial consequences.\\nAs an example, you might write, \\\"I realize that by missing my 10 am appointment I not only lost a potential client but also damaged our company’s credibility as a dependable consultant with an emphasis on customer satisfaction.”\\n1-6. End your letter by stating how you plan to make up for your mistake.\\nExplain how you plan to avoid being late in future. Describe the exact steps you’ll take to follow through on your pledge, such as leaving earlier or scheduling your appointments more prudently. This will show that you’re focused on actionable solutions, not just empty excuses.\\nA closing line like, \\\"I've asked a trusted neighbor to be available to help with the dogs so that a situation like this morning’s doesn’t happen again” will be taken as a sign of good faith.\\n1-7. Express your gratitude before signing off.\\nThank your boss for their patience and understanding, and for taking the time to read your letter. Ending things on a gracious note will help soothe any lingering feelings of resentment and set a positive tone for future interactions.\\nYour final line doesn’t have to be anything too extravagant: \\\"I appreciate how gracious you’ve been throughout this whole ordeal, and I’m eager for another chance to prove my loyalty to the company.\\\"\\nIf nothing else, include a short gesture of thanks like, “Thank you for being understanding of these difficulties and my plans to correct them.”\\n1-8. Sign your name at the bottom of the letter by hand.\\nLeave a little space beneath your closing where you can put your signature once you’ve printed your letter. If you decide to send it as an email instead, it’s okay to simply type out your first and last name. Be sure to use the name you go by most often at the workplace.\\nIf you wish, you can include a complimentary closing line like “Sincerely” or “With respect” before your signature.\\nListing your job title below your name may help your recipient identify you more easily if you work in a large company with multiple departments.\\n2. Calling Ahead\\n2-1. Gauge how late you're going to be.\\nTake stock of the conditions holding you up and estimate how much longer it will be until you can make it in. Depending on what you do, a few minutes may not be the end of the world. If you think you’ll be delayed for a while, however, you should always make it a point to let someone know.\\nConsider how long it will take you to resolve your current situation in order to give a more accurate estimate. If you’re stuck in traffic, for example, use a navigation app that provides live traffic updates to find out how fast things are moving up ahead.\\nGiving your employer an idea of when they can expect you to arrive will put them at ease and allow them to make any necessary adjustments to the schedule.\\n2-2. Call your workplace when you're going to be more than 5 minutes late.\\nUnless you’re confident you can make it in on time despite the setback, it’s usually best to pick up the phone and let someone know you’re running behind. Inform them of what’s going on and how much longer it will be before you can get there.\\nIf you have no way of knowing how late you’ll ultimately be, err on the side of caution and call anyway.\\n2-3. Take the day’s events into consideration and call sooner if necessary.\\nYour tardiness may cause more of an issue depending on what you’ve got going that day. If your store is running a big sale or you’ve got an important meeting on the books, for instance, you’ll definitely want to alert your employer or client right away.\\nIf you phone right away, someone else may be able to cover for you until you arrive.\\n2-4. Ask to speak directly to your boss.\\nOnce you’ve got someone on the phone, request to be put on the line with your manager, shift leader, or one of your boss’s direct subordinates. This will help ensure that the message gets relayed to the right person.\\nIf you have important information to share, leave it with your boss’s receptionist or administrative assistant. These people usually take notes, so there will be a record of your call.\\nAvoid sharing your status with a coworker. If they get busy or distracted, they may forget to pass the word along.\\n3. Apologizing in Person\\n3-1. Address the matter with your boss as soon as you show up.\\nMake issuing your apologizing priority #1 after you walk in the door. Chances are, your boss will wave it off and you can get to work. Otherwise, they’ll have a chance to talk to you about it before you punch in.\\nYou should give an apology in person even if you called in beforehand to tell your employer that you were going to be late.\\nIf you put off apologizing because you’re busy or dread facing your boss, you may end up looking indifferent or irresponsible, which can reflect poorly on you as an employee.\\n3-2. Offer a brief explanation for why you’re late.\\nOnce you’ve got your boss’s ear, give them an account of the circumstances that caused your tardiness. Your apology should be explicit, truthful, and to-the-point. The more elaborate a tale you tell, the more it will sound like you’re just trying to cover for yourself.\\nThere’s no need to dress up your story with unnecessary details. Just say something like, \\\"I’m sorry I was a few minutes late today. My youngest child got sick right when I was about to head out the door.”\\nAvoid sharing the day’s events if they’re not work-appropriate. If you were late because you got distracted by a personal phone call or spent an hour on the toilet with tummy trouble, it may be better to not give a reason at all.\\n3-3. Be sincere.\\nAs you issue your apology, make an effort to sound properly remorseful. Your boss will be able to tell if you don’t really mean what you’re saying. Your best bet is to simply be honest and accept responsibility for your mistake.\\nDon't laugh, joke, or try to brush off your tardiness as insignificant. Making light of the situation could be interpreted as a sign of disrespect.\\n3-4. End the conversation with a \\\"thank you.\\\"\\nRegardless of whether your boss chews you out or lets you off the hook, take a moment to express your gratitude. After all, they’re the reason you still have a job. Ingratiating yourself to them might might also help soften them up a little if they’re on the warpath over your late arrival.\\nAs a way of showing your appreciation for leniency, you might say something like, “Thank you for being so understanding. I promise it won’t happen again.”\\nIt can be tough to swallow your pride in front of your supervisor, but it’s the most diplomatic course of action, especially when you’re late as a result of your own actions.\\n4. Being Honest and Dependable\\n4-1. Avoid lying or making excuses.\\nIt can be tempting to make up a story to explain your tardiness, but resist the urge. The reason why you're late ultimately matters less than making it clear that you intend to do everything in your power to keep it from happening again. Besides, if your cover story is discovered to be false, it will only make you look worse.\\nEven small embellishments could land you in hot water. All it would take is a radio traffic report to disprove your claim that you were late due to a pileup on the interstate.\\nFocusing on how your actions have affected others tends to make a better impression than trying to downplay the mistake. \\\"Thank you for adjusting your schedule on such short notice,\\\" for instance, sounds better than, \\\"There was a big wreck on the interstate.\\\"\\n4-2. Wait until after meetings to apologize, if applicable.\\nThe only time you shouldn't say sorry right off the bat is when there’s an important meeting going on. In that case, it's best to just walk in and join the meeting in progress. Your apology can wait until afterwards.\\nMake as little noise as possible as you slip in to avoid drawing any more unnecessary attention to yourself.\\nNot only would apologizing during a meeting disrupt the proceedings, it would also add to your embarrassment by having to admit it in front of your higher-ups and coworkers.\\n4-3. Do your best to avoid being late in the future.\\nOf course, everyone is late from time to time. If you start to develop a habit, however, you’ll inevitably come to be viewed as an unreliable employee. No matter how often or how sincerely you explain yourself, repeating your mistake suggests you're not actually sorry for what you've done.\\nIf necessary, start waking up half an hour earlier to give yourself a little cushion for your morning routine or commute.\\nIt’s possible that you could be reprimanded, penalized, or even fired for being chronically late.\\nTips\\nPunctuality is an important part of every job, but some employers take it more seriously than others. If your company has a strict tardiness policy, you should plan on getting in touch regardless of how late you're going to be.\\nTry to break the news to your employer before someone else does. You don’t want them to have to hear it from someone else.\\nOffer to do something to make it up to your boss, if you think it’s necessary. You might volunteer to stay late, or to take on extra work as part of a group project.\\nWarnings\\nYour employer may not take issue with you running a little behind every now and then, but some companies have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to tardiness. If you say you’re going to do better in the future, be prepared to follow through. Otherwise, it could cost you your job.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Most of the time when you're late to work, it’s due to circumstances that are out of your control, like a sick child or traffic jam. Whatever the reason for the holdup, it’s important to let your supervisor know you'll be late and communicate openly and sincerely with your boss about what happened once you finally arrive. If you show up especially late, or it’s not your first offense, you may want to follow up with a short email offering an honest explanation of what happened.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Writing an Apology Email or Letter\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Send an apology email or letter if you happen to be exceptionally late.\", \"描述\": \"In the event that you’re a no-show for more than an hour, it may be a good idea to follow up your face-to-face apology with a written one. Taking the time to compose a formal letter will show that you’re genuinely remorseful and help you get back into your employer’s good graces.\\nYou should also think about writing an apology letter if you’ve already had one or more violations in the past, or if your tardiness caused a major problem for your company, such as a lost client or safety violation.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use a formal structure for your letter.\", \"描述\": \"Place your full name, address, and email address at the top of the letter. On the following line, note the date that you’re writing. Beneath that, display your boss's name and email address and the physical address of the company.\\nIf you work for a large company, put down the local address of your workplace rather than the business’s headquarters.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Open your letter with a traditional greeting.\", \"描述\": \"Start with the word “Dear,” followed by your boss’s appropriate title. It’s customary to use a given title like \\\"Mr.\\\", “Mrs.\\\", or “Miss,” even if you’re ordinarily on casual terms. Never refer to your employer by their first name.\\nMost apology letters will open with a line like, “Dear Miss Morgan” or “Dear Mr. Singh.”\\nIf you don’t feel comfortable using the word “Dear,” it’s alright to drop it and just say “Miss Morgan,” followed by a comma.\\nBe careful not to sound too familiar with your employer. Doing so could come across as disrespectful.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Present your apology in the body of the letter.\", \"描述\": \"Explain that the purpose of your letter is to go above and beyond a simple verbal apology. Then, summarize your reason for being late, even if you’ve already talked it out with your boss in person. Don’t forget to note the date and time to provide context for the situation.\\nYour explanation might read, \\\"I want to offer my sincerest apologies for being two hours late to work this past Friday, August 10th, 2018. I had an unexpected crisis at home that demanded my attention. I understand that my absence came at an inopportune moment for the company, and I would like to say once again how sorry I am.\\\"\\nKeep the body of your letter short and sweet. Ideally, it should consist of only a few lines—your opening, a brief explanation, and a final acknowledgement of wrongdoing.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Show that you understand the consequences of your tardiness.\", \"描述\": \"Since it’s hard to take away a sense of tone from a written apology, you’ll want to include a line that conveys that you regret being late. Acknowledge how your mistake impacted your employer and coworkers, or what it cost the company if there were financial consequences.\\nAs an example, you might write, \\\"I realize that by missing my 10 am appointment I not only lost a potential client but also damaged our company’s credibility as a dependable consultant with an emphasis on customer satisfaction.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"End your letter by stating how you plan to make up for your mistake.\", \"描述\": \"Explain how you plan to avoid being late in future. Describe the exact steps you’ll take to follow through on your pledge, such as leaving earlier or scheduling your appointments more prudently. This will show that you’re focused on actionable solutions, not just empty excuses.\\nA closing line like, \\\"I've asked a trusted neighbor to be available to help with the dogs so that a situation like this morning’s doesn’t happen again” will be taken as a sign of good faith.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Express your gratitude before signing off.\", \"描述\": \"Thank your boss for their patience and understanding, and for taking the time to read your letter. Ending things on a gracious note will help soothe any lingering feelings of resentment and set a positive tone for future interactions.\\nYour final line doesn’t have to be anything too extravagant: \\\"I appreciate how gracious you’ve been throughout this whole ordeal, and I’m eager for another chance to prove my loyalty to the company.\\\"\\nIf nothing else, include a short gesture of thanks like, “Thank you for being understanding of these difficulties and my plans to correct them.”\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Sign your name at the bottom of the letter by hand.\", \"描述\": \"Leave a little space beneath your closing where you can put your signature once you’ve printed your letter. If you decide to send it as an email instead, it’s okay to simply type out your first and last name. Be sure to use the name you go by most often at the workplace.\\nIf you wish, you can include a complimentary closing line like “Sincerely” or “With respect” before your signature.\\nListing your job title below your name may help your recipient identify you more easily if you work in a large company with multiple departments.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Calling Ahead\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Gauge how late you're going to be.\", \"描述\": \"Take stock of the conditions holding you up and estimate how much longer it will be until you can make it in. Depending on what you do, a few minutes may not be the end of the world. If you think you’ll be delayed for a while, however, you should always make it a point to let someone know.\\nConsider how long it will take you to resolve your current situation in order to give a more accurate estimate. If you’re stuck in traffic, for example, use a navigation app that provides live traffic updates to find out how fast things are moving up ahead.\\nGiving your employer an idea of when they can expect you to arrive will put them at ease and allow them to make any necessary adjustments to the schedule.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Call your workplace when you're going to be more than 5 minutes late.\", \"描述\": \"Unless you’re confident you can make it in on time despite the setback, it’s usually best to pick up the phone and let someone know you’re running behind. Inform them of what’s going on and how much longer it will be before you can get there.\\nIf you have no way of knowing how late you’ll ultimately be, err on the side of caution and call anyway.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take the day’s events into consideration and call sooner if necessary.\", \"描述\": \"Your tardiness may cause more of an issue depending on what you’ve got going that day. If your store is running a big sale or you’ve got an important meeting on the books, for instance, you’ll definitely want to alert your employer or client right away.\\nIf you phone right away, someone else may be able to cover for you until you arrive.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask to speak directly to your boss.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve got someone on the phone, request to be put on the line with your manager, shift leader, or one of your boss’s direct subordinates. This will help ensure that the message gets relayed to the right person.\\nIf you have important information to share, leave it with your boss’s receptionist or administrative assistant. These people usually take notes, so there will be a record of your call.\\nAvoid sharing your status with a coworker. If they get busy or distracted, they may forget to pass the word along.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Apologizing in Person\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Address the matter with your boss as soon as you show up.\", \"描述\": \"Make issuing your apologizing priority #1 after you walk in the door. Chances are, your boss will wave it off and you can get to work. Otherwise, they’ll have a chance to talk to you about it before you punch in.\\nYou should give an apology in person even if you called in beforehand to tell your employer that you were going to be late.\\nIf you put off apologizing because you’re busy or dread facing your boss, you may end up looking indifferent or irresponsible, which can reflect poorly on you as an employee.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Offer a brief explanation for why you’re late.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve got your boss’s ear, give them an account of the circumstances that caused your tardiness. Your apology should be explicit, truthful, and to-the-point. The more elaborate a tale you tell, the more it will sound like you’re just trying to cover for yourself.\\nThere’s no need to dress up your story with unnecessary details. Just say something like, \\\"I’m sorry I was a few minutes late today. My youngest child got sick right when I was about to head out the door.”\\nAvoid sharing the day’s events if they’re not work-appropriate. If you were late because you got distracted by a personal phone call or spent an hour on the toilet with tummy trouble, it may be better to not give a reason at all.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be sincere.\", \"描述\": \"As you issue your apology, make an effort to sound properly remorseful. Your boss will be able to tell if you don’t really mean what you’re saying. Your best bet is to simply be honest and accept responsibility for your mistake.\\nDon't laugh, joke, or try to brush off your tardiness as insignificant. Making light of the situation could be interpreted as a sign of disrespect.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"End the conversation with a \\\"thank you.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"Regardless of whether your boss chews you out or lets you off the hook, take a moment to express your gratitude. After all, they’re the reason you still have a job. Ingratiating yourself to them might might also help soften them up a little if they’re on the warpath over your late arrival.\\nAs a way of showing your appreciation for leniency, you might say something like, “Thank you for being so understanding. I promise it won’t happen again.”\\nIt can be tough to swallow your pride in front of your supervisor, but it’s the most diplomatic course of action, especially when you’re late as a result of your own actions.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Being Honest and Dependable\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid lying or making excuses.\", \"描述\": \"It can be tempting to make up a story to explain your tardiness, but resist the urge. The reason why you're late ultimately matters less than making it clear that you intend to do everything in your power to keep it from happening again. Besides, if your cover story is discovered to be false, it will only make you look worse.\\nEven small embellishments could land you in hot water. All it would take is a radio traffic report to disprove your claim that you were late due to a pileup on the interstate.\\nFocusing on how your actions have affected others tends to make a better impression than trying to downplay the mistake. \\\"Thank you for adjusting your schedule on such short notice,\\\" for instance, sounds better than, \\\"There was a big wreck on the interstate.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wait until after meetings to apologize, if applicable.\", \"描述\": \"The only time you shouldn't say sorry right off the bat is when there’s an important meeting going on. In that case, it's best to just walk in and join the meeting in progress. Your apology can wait until afterwards.\\nMake as little noise as possible as you slip in to avoid drawing any more unnecessary attention to yourself.\\nNot only would apologizing during a meeting disrupt the proceedings, it would also add to your embarrassment by having to admit it in front of your higher-ups and coworkers.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do your best to avoid being late in the future.\", \"描述\": \"Of course, everyone is late from time to time. If you start to develop a habit, however, you’ll inevitably come to be viewed as an unreliable employee. No matter how often or how sincerely you explain yourself, repeating your mistake suggests you're not actually sorry for what you've done.\\nIf necessary, start waking up half an hour earlier to give yourself a little cushion for your morning routine or commute.\\nIt’s possible that you could be reprimanded, penalized, or even fired for being chronically late.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Punctuality is an important part of every job, but some employers take it more seriously than others. If your company has a strict tardiness policy, you should plan on getting in touch regardless of how late you're going to be.\\n\", \"Try to break the news to your employer before someone else does. You don’t want them to have to hear it from someone else.\\n\", \"Offer to do something to make it up to your boss, if you think it’s necessary. You might volunteer to stay late, or to take on extra work as part of a group project.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Your employer may not take issue with you running a little behind every now and then, but some companies have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to tardiness. If you say you’re going to do better in the future, be prepared to follow through. Otherwise, it could cost you your job.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,781 | How to Apologize for Overreacting to a Teacher | 1. Planning a Meaningful Apology
1-1. Avoid trying to prove that you were right.
If you want to make a good apology, then your main motivation should be to remedy the situation, not to prove that you were right. Start out by thinking about how you overreacted and why it was wrong.
If you’re feeling any regret, think hard about what it is exactly that makes you feel regretful. Think about your feelings so that you can turn them into meaningful statements.
For example, ask yourself, "Am I feeling embarrassed or like I did something wrong? What was it about my reaction that makes me feel embarrassed? What do I wish I did differently so I wouldn't feel this way?"
Once you can state clearly what you regret about your overreaction, think about how the situation could have went differently. Think about how the conversation might have gone if you hadn’t overreacted.
1-2. Put yourself in your teacher’s shoes.
Think about how whatever you said or did affected your teacher. Consider all the stress they might be under, and how much disrespect they might have to put up from students.
If your teacher has a reputation for being mean, remember that “good” or “bad” reputations don’t make a teacher good or bad. You wouldn’t want other people to make assumptions about you based on a false reputation.
Think about how difficult it is to be a teacher. It is an incredible challenge to have a classroom full of kids, to be responsible for their wellbeing and education, and to be responsible for meeting a wide variety of educational and performance standards.
Try not to immediately jump to the conclusion that your teacher is just mean. Spend your time considering your own overreaction and how you could have acted differently.
If you do find that you’re experiencing constant problems with a particular teacher and you think you’re being treated unfairly, write down the details of each situation. Talk to a parent, guidance counselor, or other trusted adult for help mediating the situation.
1-3. Say “I” and hold yourself accountable.
Use “I” statements to communicate to your teacher that you have thought about what you did or said. Avoid using the word “you” too much in an apology, at least as far as placing responsibility goes. Be specific about why you’re apologizing, and make sure you recognize the fact that you are in the wrong and need to apologize.
For example, don’t apologize by saying, “I’m sorry that you feel I was being disrespectful.” Saying “you feel I was disrespectful” places the responsibility on the other person.
Rather, hold yourself accountable by saying, “I’m sorry that I disrespected you in class. It was wrong for me to say that you weren’t a good teacher. I shouldn’t have said something like that at all, let alone in front of the entire class.”
1-4. Don’t try to make excuses.
When you’re making a heartfelt, meaningful apology, don’t use words like “but.” Saying “I’m sorry I did this, but I felt I was in the right” is an attempt to excuse, qualify, or justify your actions. Similarly, avoid using the word “if” when making an apology: don’t say, “I’m sorry if you felt disrespected.”
Remember to be specific and hold yourself accountable. Say: “I’m sorry that I mouthed off when you wouldn’t give me an extension on my paper. I overreacted and acted immaturely.”
Instead of excusing your actions, consider offering a reason, while still maintaining what you did was wrong: “I overreacted and was immature when you told me I couldn’t get an extension on my paper. It’s of course no excuse, but I’ve been under a lot of pressure balancing my time between homework and my part-time job.”
To demonstrate that you’re not simply making an excuse, show that you’ve given some thought to how to resolve the situation with better alternatives: “I should have come to you sooner about my time management issues, and I’ll definitely be putting effort into prioritizing my school work in the future.”
2. Choosing the Best Time and Place
2-1. Cool down before making an apology.
You do want to make a timely apology, but saying you’re sorry right in the moment isn’t the best, especially if you are angry at the teacher. Take a day or two to consider how you overreacted, how you could have handled the situation differently, and to plan out what you want to say to your teacher.
If you do feel sorry in the moment, it’s not wrong to say something like, “I’m sorry I just said that. That was really wrong of me.”
All the same, you’re less likely to make a fully developed apology in the moment, so you should still take a day or two to reflect, then follow up with a more thoughtful apology.
2-2. Don't apologize during class.
When apologizing to a teacher, it’s best not to apologize in front of the entire class. There are too many distractions and other people in class to make a meaningful, personal apology. Consider going before or after school, going to class early, staying after class, or apologizing during lunch.
If there isn’t an obvious time to make your apology in private, consider writing your teacher an email or using another convenient means to get in touch with them to schedule an appointment. Try writing, “Hello, I’d like to talk privately about how I behaved in class yesterday. Do you have a few minutes in the next day or two for a conversation? Thanks!”
2-3. Make your apology face-to-face.
The best way to apologize is in person. When making an apology face-to-face, be sure to make eye contact and use facial expressions that convey remorse. Remember to listen carefully and don’t interrupt if your teacher offers any feedback or other responses when you make your apology.
Practice your apology in the mirror before meeting with your teacher. Make sure your face doesn’t convey anger or defensiveness but rather, communicates sincerity and remorse.
2-4. Consider writing a letter of apology.
While apologizing in person is best, you might want to consider writing an apology note if you're really shy or you feel embarrassed. Think about what you want to say, then handwrite a letter to give to your teacher or leave in their mailbox.
A handwritten letter is nice, but even an email or an apology written on a sticky note can help get your feelings across to your teacher, as long as it's heartfelt.
Try saying, “Did you receive my letter? I wanted to write it out, since I wanted to make sure I could clearly and sincerely apologize. I didn’t want to risk getting jumbled up or tongue tied.”
3. Being Direct, Sincere, and Honest
3-1. Be calm
You don’t want to turn your apology into another overreaction or argument. Keep your cool, and remember what the purpose of your conversation is. You are there to apologize, to explain what you did wrong, and to show how you intend to act better in the future.
If your teacher says something that gets under your skin, try to brush it off and remember that you were the one that overreacted in the first place.
They might not accept your apology right away, especially if this isn’t your first offense, but that’s not your decision to make. All you can do is be sincere, apologize, then get over it, and hope that your apology is received well.
3-2. Don't mumble while apologizing.
Mumbling can convey that someone else is making you give your apology, or you don't really want to apologize at all. This is why you should enter into the conversation with a plan, having spent some time thinking about how and why you overreacted. Be real, and use direct language spoken in a clear voice to show that you’re not making a fake apology.
3-3. Use humble, remorseful body language.
In addition to making eye contact and using remorseful facial expressions, use your other nonverbal cues to communicate sincerity. Stand up straight, and don’t slouch or otherwise show that you’re disinterested or don’t want to be there apologizing.
Try not to cross your arms, as this closes you off and separates you from the other person.
If your teacher responds to your apology by giving you a talk or feedback, show that you understand their point by nodding and saying “yes” or “I understand” when they make natural pauses in their statements.
3-4. Unite your actions to your words.
The most important part of making a genuine apology is sticking to your word. Once you’ve identified how you overreacted and explained how you can act better in the future, make sure you don’t blow up again in class the next week. Tie your actions to your words and follow through on what you said you’d do when you apologized.
Think about what led to your overreaction, not just for the sake of making your apology but for understanding yourself and your emotions. Understand your emotions so you can prevent a future outburst.
Ask yourself if you under a lot of stress, and what causes stress in your life. Does this particular teacher often get under your skin? Are there difficulties at home that are putting too much pressure on you?
When you plan out your apology, keep a draft or bullet points of your apology for your own reference. Keep looking back to the points you wanted to make, and spend some time a few times a week thinking about how you have or haven’t stuck to your word.
3-5. Consider talking to a guidance counselor, therapist, or trusted adult.
If you have a lot going on and it’s difficult to control your emotions in the heat of the moment, consider talking to someone. Ask your parent, another teacher, coach or activity leader, or some other trusted adult for advice and to get whatever’s bothering you off your chest.
Consider making an appointment with your school’s guidance counselor, or ask a parent or guardian to help you find a therapist or counselor outside of school.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:46:08",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Planning a Meaningful Apology\\n1-1. Avoid trying to prove that you were right.\\nIf you want to make a good apology, then your main motivation should be to remedy the situation, not to prove that you were right. Start out by thinking about how you overreacted and why it was wrong.\\nIf you’re feeling any regret, think hard about what it is exactly that makes you feel regretful. Think about your feelings so that you can turn them into meaningful statements.\\nFor example, ask yourself, \\\"Am I feeling embarrassed or like I did something wrong? What was it about my reaction that makes me feel embarrassed? What do I wish I did differently so I wouldn't feel this way?\\\"\\nOnce you can state clearly what you regret about your overreaction, think about how the situation could have went differently. Think about how the conversation might have gone if you hadn’t overreacted.\\n1-2. Put yourself in your teacher’s shoes.\\nThink about how whatever you said or did affected your teacher. Consider all the stress they might be under, and how much disrespect they might have to put up from students.\\nIf your teacher has a reputation for being mean, remember that “good” or “bad” reputations don’t make a teacher good or bad. You wouldn’t want other people to make assumptions about you based on a false reputation.\\nThink about how difficult it is to be a teacher. It is an incredible challenge to have a classroom full of kids, to be responsible for their wellbeing and education, and to be responsible for meeting a wide variety of educational and performance standards.\\nTry not to immediately jump to the conclusion that your teacher is just mean. Spend your time considering your own overreaction and how you could have acted differently.\\nIf you do find that you’re experiencing constant problems with a particular teacher and you think you’re being treated unfairly, write down the details of each situation. Talk to a parent, guidance counselor, or other trusted adult for help mediating the situation.\\n1-3. Say “I” and hold yourself accountable.\\nUse “I” statements to communicate to your teacher that you have thought about what you did or said. Avoid using the word “you” too much in an apology, at least as far as placing responsibility goes. Be specific about why you’re apologizing, and make sure you recognize the fact that you are in the wrong and need to apologize.\\nFor example, don’t apologize by saying, “I’m sorry that you feel I was being disrespectful.” Saying “you feel I was disrespectful” places the responsibility on the other person.\\nRather, hold yourself accountable by saying, “I’m sorry that I disrespected you in class. It was wrong for me to say that you weren’t a good teacher. I shouldn’t have said something like that at all, let alone in front of the entire class.”\\n1-4. Don’t try to make excuses.\\nWhen you’re making a heartfelt, meaningful apology, don’t use words like “but.” Saying “I’m sorry I did this, but I felt I was in the right” is an attempt to excuse, qualify, or justify your actions. Similarly, avoid using the word “if” when making an apology: don’t say, “I’m sorry if you felt disrespected.”\\nRemember to be specific and hold yourself accountable. Say: “I’m sorry that I mouthed off when you wouldn’t give me an extension on my paper. I overreacted and acted immaturely.”\\nInstead of excusing your actions, consider offering a reason, while still maintaining what you did was wrong: “I overreacted and was immature when you told me I couldn’t get an extension on my paper. It’s of course no excuse, but I’ve been under a lot of pressure balancing my time between homework and my part-time job.”\\nTo demonstrate that you’re not simply making an excuse, show that you’ve given some thought to how to resolve the situation with better alternatives: “I should have come to you sooner about my time management issues, and I’ll definitely be putting effort into prioritizing my school work in the future.”\\n2. Choosing the Best Time and Place\\n2-1. Cool down before making an apology.\\nYou do want to make a timely apology, but saying you’re sorry right in the moment isn’t the best, especially if you are angry at the teacher. Take a day or two to consider how you overreacted, how you could have handled the situation differently, and to plan out what you want to say to your teacher.\\nIf you do feel sorry in the moment, it’s not wrong to say something like, “I’m sorry I just said that. That was really wrong of me.”\\nAll the same, you’re less likely to make a fully developed apology in the moment, so you should still take a day or two to reflect, then follow up with a more thoughtful apology.\\n2-2. Don't apologize during class.\\nWhen apologizing to a teacher, it’s best not to apologize in front of the entire class. There are too many distractions and other people in class to make a meaningful, personal apology. Consider going before or after school, going to class early, staying after class, or apologizing during lunch.\\nIf there isn’t an obvious time to make your apology in private, consider writing your teacher an email or using another convenient means to get in touch with them to schedule an appointment. Try writing, “Hello, I’d like to talk privately about how I behaved in class yesterday. Do you have a few minutes in the next day or two for a conversation? Thanks!”\\n2-3. Make your apology face-to-face.\\nThe best way to apologize is in person. When making an apology face-to-face, be sure to make eye contact and use facial expressions that convey remorse. Remember to listen carefully and don’t interrupt if your teacher offers any feedback or other responses when you make your apology.\\nPractice your apology in the mirror before meeting with your teacher. Make sure your face doesn’t convey anger or defensiveness but rather, communicates sincerity and remorse.\\n2-4. Consider writing a letter of apology.\\nWhile apologizing in person is best, you might want to consider writing an apology note if you're really shy or you feel embarrassed. Think about what you want to say, then handwrite a letter to give to your teacher or leave in their mailbox. \\nA handwritten letter is nice, but even an email or an apology written on a sticky note can help get your feelings across to your teacher, as long as it's heartfelt.\\nTry saying, “Did you receive my letter? I wanted to write it out, since I wanted to make sure I could clearly and sincerely apologize. I didn’t want to risk getting jumbled up or tongue tied.”\\n3. Being Direct, Sincere, and Honest\\n3-1. Be calm\\nYou don’t want to turn your apology into another overreaction or argument. Keep your cool, and remember what the purpose of your conversation is. You are there to apologize, to explain what you did wrong, and to show how you intend to act better in the future.\\nIf your teacher says something that gets under your skin, try to brush it off and remember that you were the one that overreacted in the first place.\\nThey might not accept your apology right away, especially if this isn’t your first offense, but that’s not your decision to make. All you can do is be sincere, apologize, then get over it, and hope that your apology is received well.\\n3-2. Don't mumble while apologizing.\\nMumbling can convey that someone else is making you give your apology, or you don't really want to apologize at all. This is why you should enter into the conversation with a plan, having spent some time thinking about how and why you overreacted. Be real, and use direct language spoken in a clear voice to show that you’re not making a fake apology.\\n3-3. Use humble, remorseful body language.\\nIn addition to making eye contact and using remorseful facial expressions, use your other nonverbal cues to communicate sincerity. Stand up straight, and don’t slouch or otherwise show that you’re disinterested or don’t want to be there apologizing.\\nTry not to cross your arms, as this closes you off and separates you from the other person.\\nIf your teacher responds to your apology by giving you a talk or feedback, show that you understand their point by nodding and saying “yes” or “I understand” when they make natural pauses in their statements.\\n3-4. Unite your actions to your words.\\nThe most important part of making a genuine apology is sticking to your word. Once you’ve identified how you overreacted and explained how you can act better in the future, make sure you don’t blow up again in class the next week. Tie your actions to your words and follow through on what you said you’d do when you apologized. \\nThink about what led to your overreaction, not just for the sake of making your apology but for understanding yourself and your emotions. Understand your emotions so you can prevent a future outburst.\\nAsk yourself if you under a lot of stress, and what causes stress in your life. Does this particular teacher often get under your skin? Are there difficulties at home that are putting too much pressure on you?\\nWhen you plan out your apology, keep a draft or bullet points of your apology for your own reference. Keep looking back to the points you wanted to make, and spend some time a few times a week thinking about how you have or haven’t stuck to your word.\\n3-5. Consider talking to a guidance counselor, therapist, or trusted adult.\\nIf you have a lot going on and it’s difficult to control your emotions in the heat of the moment, consider talking to someone. Ask your parent, another teacher, coach or activity leader, or some other trusted adult for advice and to get whatever’s bothering you off your chest.\\nConsider making an appointment with your school’s guidance counselor, or ask a parent or guardian to help you find a therapist or counselor outside of school.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you've overreacted to your teacher, you should take the time to make a meaningful apology. Start by thinking about how and why you overreacted. Don't try to show how you were right, but hold yourself accountable for your actions. Try to apologize in person and in private, and use body language that shows your genuine remorse. Explain how you plan on behaving better in the future, and make sure you actually stick to your words. Finally, consider taking steps to dealing with any stress or difficulties you might be facing that led to your overreaction.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Planning a Meaningful Apology\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid trying to prove that you were right.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to make a good apology, then your main motivation should be to remedy the situation, not to prove that you were right. Start out by thinking about how you overreacted and why it was wrong.\\nIf you’re feeling any regret, think hard about what it is exactly that makes you feel regretful. Think about your feelings so that you can turn them into meaningful statements.\\nFor example, ask yourself, \\\"Am I feeling embarrassed or like I did something wrong? What was it about my reaction that makes me feel embarrassed? What do I wish I did differently so I wouldn't feel this way?\\\"\\nOnce you can state clearly what you regret about your overreaction, think about how the situation could have went differently. Think about how the conversation might have gone if you hadn’t overreacted.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Put yourself in your teacher’s shoes.\", \"描述\": \"Think about how whatever you said or did affected your teacher. Consider all the stress they might be under, and how much disrespect they might have to put up from students.\\nIf your teacher has a reputation for being mean, remember that “good” or “bad” reputations don’t make a teacher good or bad. You wouldn’t want other people to make assumptions about you based on a false reputation.\\nThink about how difficult it is to be a teacher. It is an incredible challenge to have a classroom full of kids, to be responsible for their wellbeing and education, and to be responsible for meeting a wide variety of educational and performance standards.\\nTry not to immediately jump to the conclusion that your teacher is just mean. Spend your time considering your own overreaction and how you could have acted differently.\\nIf you do find that you’re experiencing constant problems with a particular teacher and you think you’re being treated unfairly, write down the details of each situation. Talk to a parent, guidance counselor, or other trusted adult for help mediating the situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Say “I” and hold yourself accountable.\", \"描述\": \"Use “I” statements to communicate to your teacher that you have thought about what you did or said. Avoid using the word “you” too much in an apology, at least as far as placing responsibility goes. Be specific about why you’re apologizing, and make sure you recognize the fact that you are in the wrong and need to apologize.\\nFor example, don’t apologize by saying, “I’m sorry that you feel I was being disrespectful.” Saying “you feel I was disrespectful” places the responsibility on the other person.\\nRather, hold yourself accountable by saying, “I’m sorry that I disrespected you in class. It was wrong for me to say that you weren’t a good teacher. I shouldn’t have said something like that at all, let alone in front of the entire class.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don’t try to make excuses.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re making a heartfelt, meaningful apology, don’t use words like “but.” Saying “I’m sorry I did this, but I felt I was in the right” is an attempt to excuse, qualify, or justify your actions. Similarly, avoid using the word “if” when making an apology: don’t say, “I’m sorry if you felt disrespected.”\\nRemember to be specific and hold yourself accountable. Say: “I’m sorry that I mouthed off when you wouldn’t give me an extension on my paper. I overreacted and acted immaturely.”\\nInstead of excusing your actions, consider offering a reason, while still maintaining what you did was wrong: “I overreacted and was immature when you told me I couldn’t get an extension on my paper. It’s of course no excuse, but I’ve been under a lot of pressure balancing my time between homework and my part-time job.”\\nTo demonstrate that you’re not simply making an excuse, show that you’ve given some thought to how to resolve the situation with better alternatives: “I should have come to you sooner about my time management issues, and I’ll definitely be putting effort into prioritizing my school work in the future.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choosing the Best Time and Place\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Cool down before making an apology.\", \"描述\": \"You do want to make a timely apology, but saying you’re sorry right in the moment isn’t the best, especially if you are angry at the teacher. Take a day or two to consider how you overreacted, how you could have handled the situation differently, and to plan out what you want to say to your teacher.\\nIf you do feel sorry in the moment, it’s not wrong to say something like, “I’m sorry I just said that. That was really wrong of me.”\\nAll the same, you’re less likely to make a fully developed apology in the moment, so you should still take a day or two to reflect, then follow up with a more thoughtful apology.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don't apologize during class.\", \"描述\": \"When apologizing to a teacher, it’s best not to apologize in front of the entire class. There are too many distractions and other people in class to make a meaningful, personal apology. Consider going before or after school, going to class early, staying after class, or apologizing during lunch.\\nIf there isn’t an obvious time to make your apology in private, consider writing your teacher an email or using another convenient means to get in touch with them to schedule an appointment. Try writing, “Hello, I’d like to talk privately about how I behaved in class yesterday. Do you have a few minutes in the next day or two for a conversation? Thanks!”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make your apology face-to-face.\", \"描述\": \"The best way to apologize is in person. When making an apology face-to-face, be sure to make eye contact and use facial expressions that convey remorse. Remember to listen carefully and don’t interrupt if your teacher offers any feedback or other responses when you make your apology.\\nPractice your apology in the mirror before meeting with your teacher. Make sure your face doesn’t convey anger or defensiveness but rather, communicates sincerity and remorse.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Consider writing a letter of apology.\", \"描述\": \"While apologizing in person is best, you might want to consider writing an apology note if you're really shy or you feel embarrassed. Think about what you want to say, then handwrite a letter to give to your teacher or leave in their mailbox. \\nA handwritten letter is nice, but even an email or an apology written on a sticky note can help get your feelings across to your teacher, as long as it's heartfelt.\\nTry saying, “Did you receive my letter? I wanted to write it out, since I wanted to make sure I could clearly and sincerely apologize. I didn’t want to risk getting jumbled up or tongue tied.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Direct, Sincere, and Honest\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be calm\", \"描述\": \"You don’t want to turn your apology into another overreaction or argument. Keep your cool, and remember what the purpose of your conversation is. You are there to apologize, to explain what you did wrong, and to show how you intend to act better in the future.\\nIf your teacher says something that gets under your skin, try to brush it off and remember that you were the one that overreacted in the first place.\\nThey might not accept your apology right away, especially if this isn’t your first offense, but that’s not your decision to make. All you can do is be sincere, apologize, then get over it, and hope that your apology is received well.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don't mumble while apologizing.\", \"描述\": \"Mumbling can convey that someone else is making you give your apology, or you don't really want to apologize at all. This is why you should enter into the conversation with a plan, having spent some time thinking about how and why you overreacted. Be real, and use direct language spoken in a clear voice to show that you’re not making a fake apology.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use humble, remorseful body language.\", \"描述\": \"In addition to making eye contact and using remorseful facial expressions, use your other nonverbal cues to communicate sincerity. Stand up straight, and don’t slouch or otherwise show that you’re disinterested or don’t want to be there apologizing.\\nTry not to cross your arms, as this closes you off and separates you from the other person.\\nIf your teacher responds to your apology by giving you a talk or feedback, show that you understand their point by nodding and saying “yes” or “I understand” when they make natural pauses in their statements.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Unite your actions to your words.\", \"描述\": \"The most important part of making a genuine apology is sticking to your word. Once you’ve identified how you overreacted and explained how you can act better in the future, make sure you don’t blow up again in class the next week. Tie your actions to your words and follow through on what you said you’d do when you apologized. \\nThink about what led to your overreaction, not just for the sake of making your apology but for understanding yourself and your emotions. Understand your emotions so you can prevent a future outburst.\\nAsk yourself if you under a lot of stress, and what causes stress in your life. Does this particular teacher often get under your skin? Are there difficulties at home that are putting too much pressure on you?\\nWhen you plan out your apology, keep a draft or bullet points of your apology for your own reference. Keep looking back to the points you wanted to make, and spend some time a few times a week thinking about how you have or haven’t stuck to your word.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Consider talking to a guidance counselor, therapist, or trusted adult.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a lot going on and it’s difficult to control your emotions in the heat of the moment, consider talking to someone. Ask your parent, another teacher, coach or activity leader, or some other trusted adult for advice and to get whatever’s bothering you off your chest.\\nConsider making an appointment with your school’s guidance counselor, or ask a parent or guardian to help you find a therapist or counselor outside of school.\"}]}]}}",
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1,782 | How to Apologize for Texting Late at Night | 1. Is it rude to text someone late at night?
Yes, most experts agree that late-night texting is kind of rude.
Some people don’t turn their phone on silent before they go to sleep, so a late-night text could wake them up. If you know the person you’re texting is an early to bed, early to rise type of person, you might want to hold off on the late-night texting.
Etiquette experts agree that sending a text between 7 AM and 9 PM is usually preferred. However, if they’re a close friend or you know they go to bed late, you can extend that a little bit.
2. Who can I text late at night?
2-1. You can text your close friends or your partner.
If you know their nightly routines, feel free to send out a quick text to a friend or the person that you’re dating. You can tell them goodnight, ask them what they’re doing in the morning, or just tell them that you miss them. Since you two are close, they’ll know that they don’t have to respond if they’re already sleeping, and you probably won’t be offended.
2-2. You can probably text your family members if you’re close to them.
Feel free to send them a late night text if you two are close. However, if you don’t see them often or you don’t have a great relationship, save all your texts until the morning when you know they’re awake.
If you live far away from your family members, a late night text can be worrying. They might think you’re having an emergency or need help, so use caution.
2-3. You can text your boss or coworkers if it’s an emergency.
It’s almost never a good idea to text work associates late at night unless it’s an emergency. When people go home, they’re off the clock, and they’re probably not expecting to answer work questions after hours. Save your texts for normal business hours unless it’s very urgent.
3. What does it mean when someone texts you late at night?
3-1. They might have forgotten that it’s too late to text someone.
Night owls tend to stay up much later than other people, so the person texting you could have just forgotten that you’re probably not awake. If your friend who often stays up until 3 AM sends you a late-night text, don’t worry—they most likely just assume that you’re awake because they’re awake, too.
3-2. They may be looking to hook up.
If someone you’re flirting with texts you late at night, it’s often a sign that they’re looking for a “booty call.” This is especially true if they send you something like, “You up?” or, “Wanna come over?” It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it can definitely tell you their intentions right away.
If hooking up isn’t really your thing, feel free to ignore this message.
3-3. They might be dealing with an emergency.
It’s not the most common reason why someone would send you a late text, but it does happen. If you get an urgent message in the middle of the night, you may want to respond, just to see what’s up. Hopefully, nothing bad is going on, but it’s still a good idea to double check.
4. Example Apology Texts
4-1. “Sorry to disturb you at this hour.”
This is a good message to send if you don’t know the person very well. If you absolutely have to text someone and you’re worried you might wake them up, you can start your message with this. Then, they’ll know that you didn’t mean to wake them up or disturb them with your text.
You could also say, “Sorry for the late night message,” or, “Apologies for the late hour.”
4-2. "Really sorry to text you so late."
Short and simple, this apology shows that you’re aware of the late hour. If your message just can’t wait, let your recipient know that you understand how late it is (and you’re not too happy about it either).
You might also say something like, “I know it’s late, sorry about that.”
4-3. "I hope this message doesn’t wake you up."
If you know they’re already asleep, try something like this. Some people keep their text tones on all night, so your message might rouse them out of a slumber. Let them know that you’re sorry and you hope they can sleep through your message with something like this.
You might also try, “If you’re already asleep, no need to respond.”
4-4. "Not an emergency, just wanted to let you know…."
Some people assume the worst when someone contacts them late at night. Let your recipient know that everything is okay, and that your text is nothing to worry about. That way, if they do wake up and check their phone, they’ll know that they don’t necessarily have to respond right away.
You could also say, “Feel free to respond in the morning,” or, “If you’re already in bed, no worries. Just wanted to tell you that…”
5. Responses to a Late Night Text
5-1. "Hey, it’s pretty late."
Let your late-night texter know that you don’t really appreciate them texting you at this hour. You don’t have to be too mean about it, but just let them know that you were already sleeping or just dozing off.
You could also try something like, “Hey, your text just woke me up. What’s going on?” or, “Shouldn’t you be in bed by now?”
5-2. "Is this an emergency?"
Asking right away will let you know whether or not you need to be worried. If you aren’t sure whether you need to respond or not (maybe the message was a little too vague), text back asking for clarification. If it’s not an emergency, feel free to head back to dreamland.
You might also say something like, “If this isn’t urgent, I’ll go ahead and respond in the morning.”
5-3. "Sorry, I just saw this."
Use this one if you’re going to ignore the message until the morning. Even if you open up the text while you’re in bed, the other person doesn’t have to know that. Save your response until the morning, and let the other person know that you were asleep. That way, they’ll get the message that they probably shouldn’t text you so late at night.
You could also say something like, “Hey, I was already asleep when you sent that.”
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:08",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Is it rude to text someone late at night?\\nYes, most experts agree that late-night texting is kind of rude.\\nSome people don’t turn their phone on silent before they go to sleep, so a late-night text could wake them up. If you know the person you’re texting is an early to bed, early to rise type of person, you might want to hold off on the late-night texting.\\nEtiquette experts agree that sending a text between 7 AM and 9 PM is usually preferred. However, if they’re a close friend or you know they go to bed late, you can extend that a little bit.\\n2. Who can I text late at night?\\n2-1. You can text your close friends or your partner.\\nIf you know their nightly routines, feel free to send out a quick text to a friend or the person that you’re dating. You can tell them goodnight, ask them what they’re doing in the morning, or just tell them that you miss them. Since you two are close, they’ll know that they don’t have to respond if they’re already sleeping, and you probably won’t be offended.\\n2-2. You can probably text your family members if you’re close to them.\\nFeel free to send them a late night text if you two are close. However, if you don’t see them often or you don’t have a great relationship, save all your texts until the morning when you know they’re awake.\\nIf you live far away from your family members, a late night text can be worrying. They might think you’re having an emergency or need help, so use caution.\\n2-3. You can text your boss or coworkers if it’s an emergency.\\nIt’s almost never a good idea to text work associates late at night unless it’s an emergency. When people go home, they’re off the clock, and they’re probably not expecting to answer work questions after hours. Save your texts for normal business hours unless it’s very urgent.\\n3. What does it mean when someone texts you late at night?\\n3-1. They might have forgotten that it’s too late to text someone.\\nNight owls tend to stay up much later than other people, so the person texting you could have just forgotten that you’re probably not awake. If your friend who often stays up until 3 AM sends you a late-night text, don’t worry—they most likely just assume that you’re awake because they’re awake, too.\\n3-2. They may be looking to hook up.\\nIf someone you’re flirting with texts you late at night, it’s often a sign that they’re looking for a “booty call.” This is especially true if they send you something like, “You up?” or, “Wanna come over?” It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it can definitely tell you their intentions right away.\\nIf hooking up isn’t really your thing, feel free to ignore this message.\\n3-3. They might be dealing with an emergency.\\nIt’s not the most common reason why someone would send you a late text, but it does happen. If you get an urgent message in the middle of the night, you may want to respond, just to see what’s up. Hopefully, nothing bad is going on, but it’s still a good idea to double check.\\n4. Example Apology Texts\\n4-1. “Sorry to disturb you at this hour.”\\nThis is a good message to send if you don’t know the person very well. If you absolutely have to text someone and you’re worried you might wake them up, you can start your message with this. Then, they’ll know that you didn’t mean to wake them up or disturb them with your text.\\nYou could also say, “Sorry for the late night message,” or, “Apologies for the late hour.”\\n4-2. \\\"Really sorry to text you so late.\\\"\\nShort and simple, this apology shows that you’re aware of the late hour. If your message just can’t wait, let your recipient know that you understand how late it is (and you’re not too happy about it either).\\nYou might also say something like, “I know it’s late, sorry about that.”\\n4-3. \\\"I hope this message doesn’t wake you up.\\\"\\nIf you know they’re already asleep, try something like this. Some people keep their text tones on all night, so your message might rouse them out of a slumber. Let them know that you’re sorry and you hope they can sleep through your message with something like this.\\nYou might also try, “If you’re already asleep, no need to respond.”\\n4-4. \\\"Not an emergency, just wanted to let you know….\\\"\\nSome people assume the worst when someone contacts them late at night. Let your recipient know that everything is okay, and that your text is nothing to worry about. That way, if they do wake up and check their phone, they’ll know that they don’t necessarily have to respond right away.\\nYou could also say, “Feel free to respond in the morning,” or, “If you’re already in bed, no worries. Just wanted to tell you that…”\\n5. Responses to a Late Night Text\\n5-1. \\\"Hey, it’s pretty late.\\\"\\nLet your late-night texter know that you don’t really appreciate them texting you at this hour. You don’t have to be too mean about it, but just let them know that you were already sleeping or just dozing off.\\nYou could also try something like, “Hey, your text just woke me up. What’s going on?” or, “Shouldn’t you be in bed by now?”\\n5-2. \\\"Is this an emergency?\\\"\\nAsking right away will let you know whether or not you need to be worried. If you aren’t sure whether you need to respond or not (maybe the message was a little too vague), text back asking for clarification. If it’s not an emergency, feel free to head back to dreamland.\\nYou might also say something like, “If this isn’t urgent, I’ll go ahead and respond in the morning.”\\n5-3. \\\"Sorry, I just saw this.\\\"\\nUse this one if you’re going to ignore the message until the morning. Even if you open up the text while you’re in bed, the other person doesn’t have to know that. Save your response until the morning, and let the other person know that you were asleep. That way, they’ll get the message that they probably shouldn’t text you so late at night.\\nYou could also say something like, “Hey, I was already asleep when you sent that.”\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Sending a late-night text can be risky: what if you wake the other person up, or they assume there’s an emergency? That’s why we’ve compiled some helpful tips about the etiquette of late night texting, as well as some example messages you can send if it’s after dark. And, if you receive a late night text, we’ll help you figure out what it means and how exactly you can respond.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Is it rude to text someone late at night?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Yes, most experts agree that late-night texting is kind of rude.\", \"描述\": \"Some people don’t turn their phone on silent before they go to sleep, so a late-night text could wake them up. If you know the person you’re texting is an early to bed, early to rise type of person, you might want to hold off on the late-night texting.\\nEtiquette experts agree that sending a text between 7 AM and 9 PM is usually preferred. However, if they’re a close friend or you know they go to bed late, you can extend that a little bit.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Who can I text late at night?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You can text your close friends or your partner.\", \"描述\": \"If you know their nightly routines, feel free to send out a quick text to a friend or the person that you’re dating. You can tell them goodnight, ask them what they’re doing in the morning, or just tell them that you miss them. Since you two are close, they’ll know that they don’t have to respond if they’re already sleeping, and you probably won’t be offended.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"You can probably text your family members if you’re close to them.\", \"描述\": \"Feel free to send them a late night text if you two are close. However, if you don’t see them often or you don’t have a great relationship, save all your texts until the morning when you know they’re awake.\\nIf you live far away from your family members, a late night text can be worrying. They might think you’re having an emergency or need help, so use caution.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"You can text your boss or coworkers if it’s an emergency.\", \"描述\": \"It’s almost never a good idea to text work associates late at night unless it’s an emergency. When people go home, they’re off the clock, and they’re probably not expecting to answer work questions after hours. Save your texts for normal business hours unless it’s very urgent.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"What does it mean when someone texts you late at night?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"They might have forgotten that it’s too late to text someone.\", \"描述\": \"Night owls tend to stay up much later than other people, so the person texting you could have just forgotten that you’re probably not awake. If your friend who often stays up until 3 AM sends you a late-night text, don’t worry—they most likely just assume that you’re awake because they’re awake, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"They may be looking to hook up.\", \"描述\": \"If someone you’re flirting with texts you late at night, it’s often a sign that they’re looking for a “booty call.” This is especially true if they send you something like, “You up?” or, “Wanna come over?” It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it can definitely tell you their intentions right away.\\nIf hooking up isn’t really your thing, feel free to ignore this message.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"They might be dealing with an emergency.\", \"描述\": \"It’s not the most common reason why someone would send you a late text, but it does happen. If you get an urgent message in the middle of the night, you may want to respond, just to see what’s up. Hopefully, nothing bad is going on, but it’s still a good idea to double check.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Example Apology Texts\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"“Sorry to disturb you at this hour.”\", \"描述\": \"This is a good message to send if you don’t know the person very well. If you absolutely have to text someone and you’re worried you might wake them up, you can start your message with this. Then, they’ll know that you didn’t mean to wake them up or disturb them with your text.\\nYou could also say, “Sorry for the late night message,” or, “Apologies for the late hour.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"\\\"Really sorry to text you so late.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"Short and simple, this apology shows that you’re aware of the late hour. If your message just can’t wait, let your recipient know that you understand how late it is (and you’re not too happy about it either).\\nYou might also say something like, “I know it’s late, sorry about that.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"\\\"I hope this message doesn’t wake you up.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"If you know they’re already asleep, try something like this. Some people keep their text tones on all night, so your message might rouse them out of a slumber. Let them know that you’re sorry and you hope they can sleep through your message with something like this.\\nYou might also try, “If you’re already asleep, no need to respond.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"\\\"Not an emergency, just wanted to let you know….\\\"\", \"描述\": \"Some people assume the worst when someone contacts them late at night. Let your recipient know that everything is okay, and that your text is nothing to worry about. That way, if they do wake up and check their phone, they’ll know that they don’t necessarily have to respond right away.\\nYou could also say, “Feel free to respond in the morning,” or, “If you’re already in bed, no worries. Just wanted to tell you that…”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Responses to a Late Night Text\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"\\\"Hey, it’s pretty late.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"Let your late-night texter know that you don’t really appreciate them texting you at this hour. You don’t have to be too mean about it, but just let them know that you were already sleeping or just dozing off.\\nYou could also try something like, “Hey, your text just woke me up. What’s going on?” or, “Shouldn’t you be in bed by now?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"\\\"Is this an emergency?\\\"\", \"描述\": \"Asking right away will let you know whether or not you need to be worried. If you aren’t sure whether you need to respond or not (maybe the message was a little too vague), text back asking for clarification. If it’s not an emergency, feel free to head back to dreamland.\\nYou might also say something like, “If this isn’t urgent, I’ll go ahead and respond in the morning.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"\\\"Sorry, I just saw this.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"Use this one if you’re going to ignore the message until the morning. Even if you open up the text while you’re in bed, the other person doesn’t have to know that. Save your response until the morning, and let the other person know that you were asleep. That way, they’ll get the message that they probably shouldn’t text you so late at night.\\nYou could also say something like, “Hey, I was already asleep when you sent that.”\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
1,783 | How to Apologize for a Drunk Text | 1. "I'm so sorry. I had too much to drink last night!"
Own what happened and simply apologize.
If you sent a harmless late-night text (maybe one with a winky face or some misspellings), your best bet is to just tell the truth. First, sober up with some water and breakfast. Then, go ahead and let the person know that you had a few too many drinks the night before and are sorry for texting them. Many, many people have sent a drunk text in their lifetime, so the person you texted will probably understand.
"I had a few too many last night. I'm really sorry 😬"
Sobering up before you send your apology text can help you approach the situation with a clear head.
2. "I clearly can't handle my tequila. Sorry about that!"
Make light of what happened if your text was pretty innocent.
If all you sent was some ill-advised emojis (and no drunken tirades), then the recipient might've thought it was a little funny. Send a joke to acknowledge the humor in the situation along with an apology. The person you texted will likely understand and respect that you're able to laugh at yourself.
"Someone had too many Manhattans last night! I'm sorry if I woke you up..."
3. "Well, I'm embarrassed...sorry about my texts last night."
Admitting that you're embarrassed might diffuse the situation.
You sent a drunk text and you're feeling a little vulnerable; it happens! First, re-read the text to see if it's really that bad. Even if it wasn't your proudest moment, it's likely that this person will let it go if you apologize and own up to your feelings. Text the person that you're feeling a little embarrassed and that you're sorry. They'll likely respect your honesty.
"Oh no, I'm so embarrassed. Sorry about this!"
4. "OMG my friend stole my phone last night. So sorry about that text!"
Sometimes, a white lie might be necessary.
If you perhaps texted someone you just started seeing and need to do damage control, you might consider fibbing a little to save face. Sure, it's not usually a good idea to lie, but it might be your best bet if you don't know this person well (and want to keep getting to know them).
"Oh no, I forgot my phone in an Uber last night and this happened. Sorry about that!"
Keep in mind that this person may be able to tell that you're lying.
5. "I should not have sent this. I'm sorry."
Let the person know the text was a mistake (especially if it was an ex).
Sometimes, drinking can make you feel weepier, lonelier, and more nostalgic than sober you. You might wake up to realize that you're actually happy without your ex, but have to fix the situation now that you're sober. If you don't want them to get the wrong impression, let them know that the text was a mistake and that you're sorry.
"I was drinking last night and I sent this text by mistake. My apologies!"
6. "I'm sorry about drunk texting you last night. I've been meaning to reach out, but not like that!"
It's possible that you actually still want to talk to this person.
Perhaps you texted your middle school BFF or an ex you've been meaning to reconnect with. If that's the case, apologize but let them know that you've been thinking of them. Try to only contact them when you're sober going forward, and be realistic about your expectations if you were hoping this text would rekindle an old romance or friendship.
"I'm so sorry about last night. How have you been?"
7. "I'm really sorry. I can delete your number so that doesn't happen again."
Let your ex know that it won't happen again if you're not talking right now.
If you recently broke up with your ex or are in the middle of a no-contact period, try letting them know that you won't contact them in the future. This can help the two of you move on and avoid giving your ex false hope if they liked hearing from you.
"I'm sorry, I had a lot to drink last night. I promise this won't happen in the future."
8. "I am so sorry for what I said last night. I was drunk, but that's no excuse."
It's possible drunk you said some unkind things last night.
If you said some things you don't stand by now that you're sober, text that person a genuine apology. Let them know that you were drunk (but avoid using that as an excuse) and own up to your behavior. This person may be hurt, but they'll have a bigger chance of forgiving you if you take responsibility for what happened.
"I'm really sorry about what I texted you. I had a few drinks, and I absolutely didn't mean it."
9. "Wow, I am so sorry about this. Can we meet in person sometime today? I'd like to make it up to you."
Sometimes, an in-person apology might be necessary.
You might have sent a really hurtful message or something that requires a little more explanation. If that's the case, apologize and ask the person if they would be available to meet in person. Making the effort to apologize face-to-face might help the situation and let this person know that you're genuine.
"I can't believe I sent this to you. I'm so sorry. Would you be free to meet sometime today so we can talk about it?"
You might also try calling them to apologize.
10. Send nothing and pretend it never happened.
If this person isn't in your life anymore, consider simply moving on.
Perhaps you texted a friend you're no longer speaking to or an ex you're on super bad terms with. In that case, you might try your best to forget about it and move forward. Sending a follow-up text might make the situation worse, even. Make a promise to yourself to avoid drunk texting again, delete this person's number, and consider blocking them if you're concerned about their reply.
11. Forgive yourself and move on.
Treat this as a lesson.
Many people before you have sent a drunk text. It can be really embarrassing in the moment, but try not to be too hard on yourself. Take the steps you need to feel better (own up to it, apologize, delete their number, etc.) and then move forward. Sending multiple apology texts in a row or replaying what you said over and over again will only make the situation worse.
Call up a friend for some advice and reassurance. They can help you remember that everyone makes mistakes, and you might even laugh about this down the line.
Tips
You might consider blocking or deleting numbers that you really don't want to drunk text if you're worried that this will happen again.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:08",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. \\\"I'm so sorry. I had too much to drink last night!\\\"\\nOwn what happened and simply apologize.\\nIf you sent a harmless late-night text (maybe one with a winky face or some misspellings), your best bet is to just tell the truth. First, sober up with some water and breakfast. Then, go ahead and let the person know that you had a few too many drinks the night before and are sorry for texting them. Many, many people have sent a drunk text in their lifetime, so the person you texted will probably understand.\\n\\\"I had a few too many last night. I'm really sorry 😬\\\"\\nSobering up before you send your apology text can help you approach the situation with a clear head.\\n2. \\\"I clearly can't handle my tequila. Sorry about that!\\\"\\nMake light of what happened if your text was pretty innocent.\\nIf all you sent was some ill-advised emojis (and no drunken tirades), then the recipient might've thought it was a little funny. Send a joke to acknowledge the humor in the situation along with an apology. The person you texted will likely understand and respect that you're able to laugh at yourself.\\n\\\"Someone had too many Manhattans last night! I'm sorry if I woke you up...\\\"\\n3. \\\"Well, I'm embarrassed...sorry about my texts last night.\\\"\\nAdmitting that you're embarrassed might diffuse the situation.\\nYou sent a drunk text and you're feeling a little vulnerable; it happens! First, re-read the text to see if it's really that bad. Even if it wasn't your proudest moment, it's likely that this person will let it go if you apologize and own up to your feelings. Text the person that you're feeling a little embarrassed and that you're sorry. They'll likely respect your honesty.\\n\\\"Oh no, I'm so embarrassed. Sorry about this!\\\"\\n4. \\\"OMG my friend stole my phone last night. So sorry about that text!\\\"\\nSometimes, a white lie might be necessary.\\nIf you perhaps texted someone you just started seeing and need to do damage control, you might consider fibbing a little to save face. Sure, it's not usually a good idea to lie, but it might be your best bet if you don't know this person well (and want to keep getting to know them).\\n\\\"Oh no, I forgot my phone in an Uber last night and this happened. Sorry about that!\\\"\\nKeep in mind that this person may be able to tell that you're lying.\\n5. \\\"I should not have sent this. I'm sorry.\\\"\\nLet the person know the text was a mistake (especially if it was an ex).\\nSometimes, drinking can make you feel weepier, lonelier, and more nostalgic than sober you. You might wake up to realize that you're actually happy without your ex, but have to fix the situation now that you're sober. If you don't want them to get the wrong impression, let them know that the text was a mistake and that you're sorry.\\n\\\"I was drinking last night and I sent this text by mistake. My apologies!\\\"\\n6. \\\"I'm sorry about drunk texting you last night. I've been meaning to reach out, but not like that!\\\"\\nIt's possible that you actually still want to talk to this person.\\nPerhaps you texted your middle school BFF or an ex you've been meaning to reconnect with. If that's the case, apologize but let them know that you've been thinking of them. Try to only contact them when you're sober going forward, and be realistic about your expectations if you were hoping this text would rekindle an old romance or friendship.\\n\\\"I'm so sorry about last night. How have you been?\\\"\\n7. \\\"I'm really sorry. I can delete your number so that doesn't happen again.\\\"\\nLet your ex know that it won't happen again if you're not talking right now.\\nIf you recently broke up with your ex or are in the middle of a no-contact period, try letting them know that you won't contact them in the future. This can help the two of you move on and avoid giving your ex false hope if they liked hearing from you.\\n\\\"I'm sorry, I had a lot to drink last night. I promise this won't happen in the future.\\\"\\n8. \\\"I am so sorry for what I said last night. I was drunk, but that's no excuse.\\\"\\nIt's possible drunk you said some unkind things last night.\\nIf you said some things you don't stand by now that you're sober, text that person a genuine apology. Let them know that you were drunk (but avoid using that as an excuse) and own up to your behavior. This person may be hurt, but they'll have a bigger chance of forgiving you if you take responsibility for what happened.\\n\\\"I'm really sorry about what I texted you. I had a few drinks, and I absolutely didn't mean it.\\\"\\n9. \\\"Wow, I am so sorry about this. Can we meet in person sometime today? I'd like to make it up to you.\\\"\\nSometimes, an in-person apology might be necessary.\\nYou might have sent a really hurtful message or something that requires a little more explanation. If that's the case, apologize and ask the person if they would be available to meet in person. Making the effort to apologize face-to-face might help the situation and let this person know that you're genuine.\\n\\\"I can't believe I sent this to you. I'm so sorry. Would you be free to meet sometime today so we can talk about it?\\\"\\nYou might also try calling them to apologize.\\n10. Send nothing and pretend it never happened.\\nIf this person isn't in your life anymore, consider simply moving on.\\nPerhaps you texted a friend you're no longer speaking to or an ex you're on super bad terms with. In that case, you might try your best to forget about it and move forward. Sending a follow-up text might make the situation worse, even. Make a promise to yourself to avoid drunk texting again, delete this person's number, and consider blocking them if you're concerned about their reply.\\n11. Forgive yourself and move on.\\nTreat this as a lesson.\\nMany people before you have sent a drunk text. It can be really embarrassing in the moment, but try not to be too hard on yourself. Take the steps you need to feel better (own up to it, apologize, delete their number, etc.) and then move forward. Sending multiple apology texts in a row or replaying what you said over and over again will only make the situation worse.\\nCall up a friend for some advice and reassurance. They can help you remember that everyone makes mistakes, and you might even laugh about this down the line.\\nTips\\nYou might consider blocking or deleting numbers that you really don't want to drunk text if you're worried that this will happen again.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you woke up to discover that \\\"drunk you\\\" texted the absolute worst person possible (maybe your ex), you're not alone. It can be super embarrassing to wake up to a bunch of texts that you absolutely don't remember sending, but try not to beat yourself up over it. What feels cringe-worthy now may become a funny story down the line, but right now, you're probably looking for the perfect text to undo what happened. This article has everything you need to know about recovering from a drunk text and apologizing.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"\\\"I'm so sorry. I had too much to drink last night!\\\"\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Own what happened and simply apologize.\", \"描述\": \"If you sent a harmless late-night text (maybe one with a winky face or some misspellings), your best bet is to just tell the truth. First, sober up with some water and breakfast. Then, go ahead and let the person know that you had a few too many drinks the night before and are sorry for texting them. Many, many people have sent a drunk text in their lifetime, so the person you texted will probably understand.\\n\\\"I had a few too many last night. I'm really sorry 😬\\\"\\nSobering up before you send your apology text can help you approach the situation with a clear head.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"\\\"I clearly can't handle my tequila. Sorry about that!\\\"\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make light of what happened if your text was pretty innocent.\", \"描述\": \"If all you sent was some ill-advised emojis (and no drunken tirades), then the recipient might've thought it was a little funny. Send a joke to acknowledge the humor in the situation along with an apology. The person you texted will likely understand and respect that you're able to laugh at yourself.\\n\\\"Someone had too many Manhattans last night! I'm sorry if I woke you up...\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"\\\"Well, I'm embarrassed...sorry about my texts last night.\\\"\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Admitting that you're embarrassed might diffuse the situation.\", \"描述\": \"You sent a drunk text and you're feeling a little vulnerable; it happens! First, re-read the text to see if it's really that bad. Even if it wasn't your proudest moment, it's likely that this person will let it go if you apologize and own up to your feelings. Text the person that you're feeling a little embarrassed and that you're sorry. They'll likely respect your honesty.\\n\\\"Oh no, I'm so embarrassed. Sorry about this!\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"\\\"OMG my friend stole my phone last night. So sorry about that text!\\\"\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sometimes, a white lie might be necessary.\", \"描述\": \"If you perhaps texted someone you just started seeing and need to do damage control, you might consider fibbing a little to save face. Sure, it's not usually a good idea to lie, but it might be your best bet if you don't know this person well (and want to keep getting to know them).\\n\\\"Oh no, I forgot my phone in an Uber last night and this happened. Sorry about that!\\\"\\nKeep in mind that this person may be able to tell that you're lying.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"\\\"I should not have sent this. I'm sorry.\\\"\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let the person know the text was a mistake (especially if it was an ex).\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, drinking can make you feel weepier, lonelier, and more nostalgic than sober you. You might wake up to realize that you're actually happy without your ex, but have to fix the situation now that you're sober. If you don't want them to get the wrong impression, let them know that the text was a mistake and that you're sorry.\\n\\\"I was drinking last night and I sent this text by mistake. My apologies!\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"\\\"I'm sorry about drunk texting you last night. I've been meaning to reach out, but not like that!\\\"\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It's possible that you actually still want to talk to this person.\", \"描述\": \"Perhaps you texted your middle school BFF or an ex you've been meaning to reconnect with. If that's the case, apologize but let them know that you've been thinking of them. Try to only contact them when you're sober going forward, and be realistic about your expectations if you were hoping this text would rekindle an old romance or friendship.\\n\\\"I'm so sorry about last night. How have you been?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"\\\"I'm really sorry. I can delete your number so that doesn't happen again.\\\"\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let your ex know that it won't happen again if you're not talking right now.\", \"描述\": \"If you recently broke up with your ex or are in the middle of a no-contact period, try letting them know that you won't contact them in the future. This can help the two of you move on and avoid giving your ex false hope if they liked hearing from you.\\n\\\"I'm sorry, I had a lot to drink last night. I promise this won't happen in the future.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"\\\"I am so sorry for what I said last night. I was drunk, but that's no excuse.\\\"\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It's possible drunk you said some unkind things last night.\", \"描述\": \"If you said some things you don't stand by now that you're sober, text that person a genuine apology. Let them know that you were drunk (but avoid using that as an excuse) and own up to your behavior. This person may be hurt, but they'll have a bigger chance of forgiving you if you take responsibility for what happened.\\n\\\"I'm really sorry about what I texted you. I had a few drinks, and I absolutely didn't mean it.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"\\\"Wow, I am so sorry about this. Can we meet in person sometime today? I'd like to make it up to you.\\\"\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sometimes, an in-person apology might be necessary.\", \"描述\": \"You might have sent a really hurtful message or something that requires a little more explanation. If that's the case, apologize and ask the person if they would be available to meet in person. Making the effort to apologize face-to-face might help the situation and let this person know that you're genuine.\\n\\\"I can't believe I sent this to you. I'm so sorry. Would you be free to meet sometime today so we can talk about it?\\\"\\nYou might also try calling them to apologize.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Send nothing and pretend it never happened.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If this person isn't in your life anymore, consider simply moving on.\", \"描述\": \"Perhaps you texted a friend you're no longer speaking to or an ex you're on super bad terms with. In that case, you might try your best to forget about it and move forward. Sending a follow-up text might make the situation worse, even. Make a promise to yourself to avoid drunk texting again, delete this person's number, and consider blocking them if you're concerned about their reply.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Forgive yourself and move on.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Treat this as a lesson.\", \"描述\": \"Many people before you have sent a drunk text. It can be really embarrassing in the moment, but try not to be too hard on yourself. Take the steps you need to feel better (own up to it, apologize, delete their number, etc.) and then move forward. Sending multiple apology texts in a row or replaying what you said over and over again will only make the situation worse.\\nCall up a friend for some advice and reassurance. They can help you remember that everyone makes mistakes, and you might even laugh about this down the line.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"You might consider blocking or deleting numbers that you really don't want to drunk text if you're worried that this will happen again.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,784 | How to Apologize for a Racist Comment | 1. Accepting and Understanding Your Error
1-1. Recognize the difference between a racist action and a racist person.
Doing or saying one racist thing doesn't necessarily make you a bad person, especially if you react well and make up for it. There's a difference between one or two mistakes and a habit of doing bad things.
Compare it to tripping other people. If you accidentally trip people on occasion, and then apologize and make sure they're okay, that doesn't make you a bad person. If you trip people on purpose, or refuse to watch where you're going even though you are repeatedly hurting people, that is a reflection on your character.
Your character is not defined by your mistakes, but how you react to your mistakes.
If you live in an area where there is racism, you may unintentionally pick up a few racist attitudes. It happens. To help fix it, you can work actively on un-learning and challenging your questionable thoughts and assumptions.
1-2. Recognize that it may have taken a lot of courage for the person to come to you.
Living in a racist world can be very tough for some people. If they've had a lot of bad experiences, it can be stressful, and they may have a really hard time figuring out how to bring it up with you and how to phrase it well because they don't want to be attacked.
Compare it to being punched. Imagine if people often punched you in the stomach, sometimes lightly, and sometimes really hard. You would get a bruise there, and it would really hurt. Thus, any time you got punched on that bruise, it might hurt a lot more. People who didn't understand your bruise might think you were over-reacting, because they didn't know you were already hurt. Similarly, people of color might react strongly to racism if they have already been hurt many times.
This context may help you understand the stress that the other person is experiencing. Keep it in mind, to help you empathize with them.
1-3. Avoid common logical fallacies about racist comments.
Some people try to minimize or make excuses for what they've done. But this makes it worse, not better, because it implies you don't take it seriously. Here are some mistakes to recognize and avoid.
"I didn't mean anything bad" can be true, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't have to apologize. A caring person apologizes for their mistakes, including total accidents.
The burden of stopping racism shouldn't only fall on its direct victims. For example, a black person can speak up against anti-Asian racism, and a white person can defend a Latinx friend.
Some people will tell you they don't care if you insult them. That doesn't mean it isn't inappropriate, or that other people shouldn't object.
Research shows that disparaging jokes shape and reinforce negative attitudes. Prejudiced jokes can make people accept prejudice and may embolden prejudiced people to act in discriminatory ways. "It's just a joke" ignores serious consequences of normalizing racism.
1-4. Take accusations seriously.
Even if you don't understand why, act with the assumption that the person has a very good reason for saying that they’re offended. Racism isn't something that people take lightly. It's better to be too serious than to blow off someone else's pain.
If someone points out a racist comment, they aren’t saying, "You're a terrible person" or even, “You’re a racist.” They are telling you that you said something hurtful. Don’t take it personally, but instead, recognize that they’re helping you see your blind spots.
1-5. Ask questions.
You might wonder what was racist in your words. If so, ask the person. You might have a lot of questions, so ask them one at a time. For example, if you’re unclear, ask, “What did I say that was racist?” You might also wonder, “How was that offensive?” or, “What could I have said instead?”
Don't push them to explain if they're uncomfortable. While some people are willing to gently guide you through the painful world of racism, it isn't their job, so don't expect it, and express gratitude if they take time for you.
If the interaction happens online, consider private messaging the person to talk about it further and ask your questions.
1-6. Take responsibility for your actions.
Own up to what you said and accept any consequences that have (or may) occur. Taking responsibility means admitting that you said something hurtful and that there’s no excuse for it. It means you don’t blame anything or anyone else for what came out of your mouth.
Taking responsibility often doesn’t feel good, but it’s an important part of admitting your actions and showing that you’re sincere in taking steps to amend what went wrong.
2. Planning a Sincere Apology
2-1. Plan your apology.
Choose the circumstances around your apology carefully. For example, don’t casually bring it up in the middle of something or around strangers. Try to apologize in a private way. Choose a good time and a quiet setting that will facilitate the discussion and apology. Pick a time you know the person or people are available and have time to talk. Allow some time for discussion.
Say, “Is this a good time to talk?” or, “Can we talk tomorrow after class?” If they seem iffy, it may help to tell them that you want to talk to them to apologize.
You don’t want to feel rushed in your apology, nor do you want the other person or people to feel awkward or uncomfortable.
2-2. Decide how to deliver your apology.
In most cases, you’ll speak in-person to one person or a group of people. There are certain instances that may warrant a public apology. If you made a racist comment online, for example, you may want to publicly take responsibility and apologize for your comment. Or, if you made a comment in your workplace or classroom, you may want to revisit that space and those people and make amends.
You may choose to write a letter. If you struggle to say things out loud or have difficulty wording your apology, try a letter (or email). This can help you say what you need to say how you want to say it.
2-3. Be sincere in your delivery.
What you say should be heartfelt. If you are giggling and not trying to act serious, no one will take you seriously. Make it clear that you are serious about your apology and about racism. Believe that you mean what you say and really mean it.
For example, you should know why you’re apologizing and why what you said was hurtful before you apologize.
2-4. Choose your words thoughtfully.
You want to dig yourself out of a hole, not dig it further! Avoid trying to justify why you made your comment (“It was funny at the time”) or making a non-apology: the apology isn’t about how they feel or if they feel bad, it’s about your actions. Avoid saying things like, “I’m sorry if you feel bad” or, “I’m sorry you didn’t understand me.”
One helpful technique is to use the word and instead of the word but, such as "I'm sorry and I didn't mean it" instead of "I'm sorry but I didn't mean it."
3. Delivering a Thoughtful Apology
3-1. Acknowledge the hurt or foul.
Start your apology by admitting responsibility, then acknowledge the hurt your comment caused. Show an understanding of how your words were hurtful and that you understand the pain they caused.
For example, say, “I thought my comment was funny, but now I see how insensitive it was toward Black people, and I’m horrified I said that” or, “I was so thoughtless to say that, and I realize that I seriously hurt you.”
3-2. Show remorse.
It’s important to show that you feel bad about what you said. Even if you hurt the person unintentionally, you still can feel remorse for the effects of your racist comment. Remorse can express guilt, shame, embarrassment, or humility.
"I'm sorry. I heard people using that word, but I didn't know exactly what it meant. I'm horrified that it has such negative connotations, and I would never have used it had I known. I'm truly sorry."
3-3. Be specific.
Speak specifically about what you did that was wrong. It’s best not to speak in generalities such as, “I’m sorry I said something racist.” Instead, say specifically what you did that was wrong and why it was offensive.
For example, say, “My comment about Latinos sounded funny to me, but now I see that it was out of line and offensive. I'm going to make time to learn from this mistake.”
3-4. Say, “I’m sorry.”
It’s important that your apology contains the words “I’m sorry.” Make it clear to the person that you’re making an apology and not trying to make excuses or justify your words. Saying the words, “I’m sorry” makes it clear that you’re making an apology.
Try to say, “I’m sorry” early on in the apology. Don’t wait until the end of your apology to say that words or else it can be confusing.
Make sure your apology is genuine and assure them you want to make sure it won’t happen again.
3-5. Avoid placing further emotional burdens on the person you apologized to.
You may be feeling guilty and rotten inside (which is a sign that you are a good person with a functioning conscience). It is your responsibility to deal with those feelings, and the other person shouldn't have to hand-hold you through them. Focus on their feelings, not your own. You should be comforting them, not the other way around.
You can mention your bad feelings without expecting the other person to fix them for you. "I feel terrible for hurting you and I'm so sorry" is a decent apology. "I feel terrible, I can't sleep just thinking about it, and I've never felt this bad in my life, and you forgive me right, and..." isn't appropriate.
If you're struggling to process your feelings, talk to someone who isn't involved in the incident. For example, if you upset your friend from work, maybe you could talk to your mom about it.
4. Learning from the Experience
4-1. Consider their feelings.
Listen closely to their response and really consider what they say. Pay attention to their words and feelings and show that you’re listening by nodding occasionally and encouraging them to continue by saying, “I see” or, “Uh huh.” Respond to their words by validating their feelings and empathizing with them. See things from their point-of-view and understand why they feel the way they do.
For example, say, “I can understand why you feel hurt” or, “I didn’t realize how much my comment affected you.”
4-2. Assure them that you'll learn from this and avoid doing it again.
Let the other person know that you're committed to doing better in the future. This helps in rebuilding trust and repairing a relationship. It also shows that you’ve learned from the experience and don’t want to hurt others. Just be sure to honor this commitment.
Say, “This was a painful experience, and I’ll be sure to be more careful with my words in the future.”
You can also describe steps you're going to take to learn. For example, "I'm going to read some books and blogs about anti-Asian racism to help me understand it better. If you have any recommendations, please feel free to share them."
4-3. Make amends.
Take your apology one step further by making amends. For example, say, “Is there anything I can do to make this up to you?” Think about anything you can do to improve or do better and share this with the person. However, don’t make empty promises or grandiose gestures as a way to relieve your guilt.
For example, say, “I know this is a blind spot, so I’m signing up for an online class about racial diversity.”
4-4. Try reading up on racism to help you understand it better.
This can help you be a better friend and help you avoid making similar missteps in the future. Learn more about racism from experts and anti-racist advocates. Understanding and getting comfortable with the topic can help you handle it with grace.
Try checking out library books about racism and how it works.
Read personal accounts of how people have been affected by racism. What were they exposed to? How did it feel for them? What did they wish people knew about it?
There are even videos that make it silly with topics like "If Asian people said the racist things some white people say." These let you both laugh and learn about racism.
4-5. Take action on a larger scale.
Perhaps this experience has opened your eyes to larger issues about race and you want to get involved in spreading awareness and equality. Join a diversity group at your school, university, or workplace to encourage working together. Get involved politically by raising awareness in your community or signing petitions that promote equality for people of all backgrounds.
Do what you can to promote awareness and sensitivity. Perhaps you might even stop someone and start a discussion about race after they make an offensive comment.
Tips
Everyone makes mistakes, and it takes courage and a strong sense of self to apologize and learn from it.
If you're dealing with someone that is difficult to work with, don't make anything harder than they need to be. If they won't accept it, don't try to make them.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:08",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Accepting and Understanding Your Error\\n1-1. Recognize the difference between a racist action and a racist person.\\nDoing or saying one racist thing doesn't necessarily make you a bad person, especially if you react well and make up for it. There's a difference between one or two mistakes and a habit of doing bad things.\\nCompare it to tripping other people. If you accidentally trip people on occasion, and then apologize and make sure they're okay, that doesn't make you a bad person. If you trip people on purpose, or refuse to watch where you're going even though you are repeatedly hurting people, that is a reflection on your character.\\nYour character is not defined by your mistakes, but how you react to your mistakes.\\nIf you live in an area where there is racism, you may unintentionally pick up a few racist attitudes. It happens. To help fix it, you can work actively on un-learning and challenging your questionable thoughts and assumptions.\\n1-2. Recognize that it may have taken a lot of courage for the person to come to you.\\nLiving in a racist world can be very tough for some people. If they've had a lot of bad experiences, it can be stressful, and they may have a really hard time figuring out how to bring it up with you and how to phrase it well because they don't want to be attacked. \\nCompare it to being punched. Imagine if people often punched you in the stomach, sometimes lightly, and sometimes really hard. You would get a bruise there, and it would really hurt. Thus, any time you got punched on that bruise, it might hurt a lot more. People who didn't understand your bruise might think you were over-reacting, because they didn't know you were already hurt. Similarly, people of color might react strongly to racism if they have already been hurt many times.\\nThis context may help you understand the stress that the other person is experiencing. Keep it in mind, to help you empathize with them.\\n1-3. Avoid common logical fallacies about racist comments.\\nSome people try to minimize or make excuses for what they've done. But this makes it worse, not better, because it implies you don't take it seriously. Here are some mistakes to recognize and avoid. \\n\\n \\\"I didn't mean anything bad\\\" can be true, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't have to apologize. A caring person apologizes for their mistakes, including total accidents.\\n The burden of stopping racism shouldn't only fall on its direct victims. For example, a black person can speak up against anti-Asian racism, and a white person can defend a Latinx friend.\\n\\n Some people will tell you they don't care if you insult them. That doesn't mean it isn't inappropriate, or that other people shouldn't object.\\n Research shows that disparaging jokes shape and reinforce negative attitudes. Prejudiced jokes can make people accept prejudice and may embolden prejudiced people to act in discriminatory ways. \\\"It's just a joke\\\" ignores serious consequences of normalizing racism.\\n1-4. Take accusations seriously.\\nEven if you don't understand why, act with the assumption that the person has a very good reason for saying that they’re offended. Racism isn't something that people take lightly. It's better to be too serious than to blow off someone else's pain.\\nIf someone points out a racist comment, they aren’t saying, \\\"You're a terrible person\\\" or even, “You’re a racist.” They are telling you that you said something hurtful. Don’t take it personally, but instead, recognize that they’re helping you see your blind spots.\\n1-5. Ask questions.\\nYou might wonder what was racist in your words. If so, ask the person. You might have a lot of questions, so ask them one at a time. For example, if you’re unclear, ask, “What did I say that was racist?” You might also wonder, “How was that offensive?” or, “What could I have said instead?” \\nDon't push them to explain if they're uncomfortable. While some people are willing to gently guide you through the painful world of racism, it isn't their job, so don't expect it, and express gratitude if they take time for you.\\nIf the interaction happens online, consider private messaging the person to talk about it further and ask your questions.\\n1-6. Take responsibility for your actions.\\nOwn up to what you said and accept any consequences that have (or may) occur. Taking responsibility means admitting that you said something hurtful and that there’s no excuse for it. It means you don’t blame anything or anyone else for what came out of your mouth.\\nTaking responsibility often doesn’t feel good, but it’s an important part of admitting your actions and showing that you’re sincere in taking steps to amend what went wrong.\\n2. Planning a Sincere Apology\\n2-1. Plan your apology.\\nChoose the circumstances around your apology carefully. For example, don’t casually bring it up in the middle of something or around strangers. Try to apologize in a private way. Choose a good time and a quiet setting that will facilitate the discussion and apology. Pick a time you know the person or people are available and have time to talk. Allow some time for discussion. \\nSay, “Is this a good time to talk?” or, “Can we talk tomorrow after class?” If they seem iffy, it may help to tell them that you want to talk to them to apologize.\\nYou don’t want to feel rushed in your apology, nor do you want the other person or people to feel awkward or uncomfortable.\\n2-2. Decide how to deliver your apology.\\nIn most cases, you’ll speak in-person to one person or a group of people. There are certain instances that may warrant a public apology. If you made a racist comment online, for example, you may want to publicly take responsibility and apologize for your comment. Or, if you made a comment in your workplace or classroom, you may want to revisit that space and those people and make amends. \\nYou may choose to write a letter. If you struggle to say things out loud or have difficulty wording your apology, try a letter (or email). This can help you say what you need to say how you want to say it.\\n2-3. Be sincere in your delivery.\\nWhat you say should be heartfelt. If you are giggling and not trying to act serious, no one will take you seriously. Make it clear that you are serious about your apology and about racism. Believe that you mean what you say and really mean it.\\nFor example, you should know why you’re apologizing and why what you said was hurtful before you apologize.\\n2-4. Choose your words thoughtfully.\\nYou want to dig yourself out of a hole, not dig it further! Avoid trying to justify why you made your comment (“It was funny at the time”) or making a non-apology: the apology isn’t about how they feel or if they feel bad, it’s about your actions. Avoid saying things like, “I’m sorry if you feel bad” or, “I’m sorry you didn’t understand me.”\\nOne helpful technique is to use the word and instead of the word but, such as \\\"I'm sorry and I didn't mean it\\\" instead of \\\"I'm sorry but I didn't mean it.\\\"\\n3. Delivering a Thoughtful Apology\\n3-1. Acknowledge the hurt or foul.\\nStart your apology by admitting responsibility, then acknowledge the hurt your comment caused. Show an understanding of how your words were hurtful and that you understand the pain they caused.\\nFor example, say, “I thought my comment was funny, but now I see how insensitive it was toward Black people, and I’m horrified I said that” or, “I was so thoughtless to say that, and I realize that I seriously hurt you.”\\n3-2. Show remorse.\\nIt’s important to show that you feel bad about what you said. Even if you hurt the person unintentionally, you still can feel remorse for the effects of your racist comment. Remorse can express guilt, shame, embarrassment, or humility.\\n\\\"I'm sorry. I heard people using that word, but I didn't know exactly what it meant. I'm horrified that it has such negative connotations, and I would never have used it had I known. I'm truly sorry.\\\"\\n3-3. Be specific.\\nSpeak specifically about what you did that was wrong. It’s best not to speak in generalities such as, “I’m sorry I said something racist.” Instead, say specifically what you did that was wrong and why it was offensive.\\nFor example, say, “My comment about Latinos sounded funny to me, but now I see that it was out of line and offensive. I'm going to make time to learn from this mistake.”\\n3-4. Say, “I’m sorry.”\\nIt’s important that your apology contains the words “I’m sorry.” Make it clear to the person that you’re making an apology and not trying to make excuses or justify your words. Saying the words, “I’m sorry” makes it clear that you’re making an apology.\\nTry to say, “I’m sorry” early on in the apology. Don’t wait until the end of your apology to say that words or else it can be confusing.\\nMake sure your apology is genuine and assure them you want to make sure it won’t happen again.\\n3-5. Avoid placing further emotional burdens on the person you apologized to.\\nYou may be feeling guilty and rotten inside (which is a sign that you are a good person with a functioning conscience). It is your responsibility to deal with those feelings, and the other person shouldn't have to hand-hold you through them. Focus on their feelings, not your own. You should be comforting them, not the other way around. \\nYou can mention your bad feelings without expecting the other person to fix them for you. \\\"I feel terrible for hurting you and I'm so sorry\\\" is a decent apology. \\\"I feel terrible, I can't sleep just thinking about it, and I've never felt this bad in my life, and you forgive me right, and...\\\" isn't appropriate.\\nIf you're struggling to process your feelings, talk to someone who isn't involved in the incident. For example, if you upset your friend from work, maybe you could talk to your mom about it.\\n4. Learning from the Experience\\n4-1. Consider their feelings.\\nListen closely to their response and really consider what they say. Pay attention to their words and feelings and show that you’re listening by nodding occasionally and encouraging them to continue by saying, “I see” or, “Uh huh.” Respond to their words by validating their feelings and empathizing with them. See things from their point-of-view and understand why they feel the way they do. \\nFor example, say, “I can understand why you feel hurt” or, “I didn’t realize how much my comment affected you.”\\n4-2. Assure them that you'll learn from this and avoid doing it again.\\nLet the other person know that you're committed to doing better in the future. This helps in rebuilding trust and repairing a relationship. It also shows that you’ve learned from the experience and don’t want to hurt others. Just be sure to honor this commitment. \\nSay, “This was a painful experience, and I’ll be sure to be more careful with my words in the future.”\\nYou can also describe steps you're going to take to learn. For example, \\\"I'm going to read some books and blogs about anti-Asian racism to help me understand it better. If you have any recommendations, please feel free to share them.\\\"\\n4-3. Make amends.\\nTake your apology one step further by making amends. For example, say, “Is there anything I can do to make this up to you?” Think about anything you can do to improve or do better and share this with the person. However, don’t make empty promises or grandiose gestures as a way to relieve your guilt.\\nFor example, say, “I know this is a blind spot, so I’m signing up for an online class about racial diversity.”\\n4-4. Try reading up on racism to help you understand it better.\\nThis can help you be a better friend and help you avoid making similar missteps in the future. Learn more about racism from experts and anti-racist advocates. Understanding and getting comfortable with the topic can help you handle it with grace. \\nTry checking out library books about racism and how it works.\\nRead personal accounts of how people have been affected by racism. What were they exposed to? How did it feel for them? What did they wish people knew about it?\\nThere are even videos that make it silly with topics like \\\"If Asian people said the racist things some white people say.\\\" These let you both laugh and learn about racism.\\n4-5. Take action on a larger scale.\\nPerhaps this experience has opened your eyes to larger issues about race and you want to get involved in spreading awareness and equality. Join a diversity group at your school, university, or workplace to encourage working together. Get involved politically by raising awareness in your community or signing petitions that promote equality for people of all backgrounds. \\nDo what you can to promote awareness and sensitivity. Perhaps you might even stop someone and start a discussion about race after they make an offensive comment.\\nTips\\nEveryone makes mistakes, and it takes courage and a strong sense of self to apologize and learn from it.\\nIf you're dealing with someone that is difficult to work with, don't make anything harder than they need to be. If they won't accept it, don't try to make them.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Whether intentional or not, you might find yourself having to apologize for something you said that was racist. Before making an apology, plan your words so that you can deliver them effectively. When making an apology, be sure to take responsibility for your words. Acknowledge the hurt you caused, express remorse, and make amends.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accepting and Understanding Your Error\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Recognize the difference between a racist action and a racist person.\", \"描述\": \"Doing or saying one racist thing doesn't necessarily make you a bad person, especially if you react well and make up for it. There's a difference between one or two mistakes and a habit of doing bad things.\\nCompare it to tripping other people. If you accidentally trip people on occasion, and then apologize and make sure they're okay, that doesn't make you a bad person. If you trip people on purpose, or refuse to watch where you're going even though you are repeatedly hurting people, that is a reflection on your character.\\nYour character is not defined by your mistakes, but how you react to your mistakes.\\nIf you live in an area where there is racism, you may unintentionally pick up a few racist attitudes. It happens. To help fix it, you can work actively on un-learning and challenging your questionable thoughts and assumptions.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Recognize that it may have taken a lot of courage for the person to come to you.\", \"描述\": \"Living in a racist world can be very tough for some people. If they've had a lot of bad experiences, it can be stressful, and they may have a really hard time figuring out how to bring it up with you and how to phrase it well because they don't want to be attacked. \\nCompare it to being punched. Imagine if people often punched you in the stomach, sometimes lightly, and sometimes really hard. You would get a bruise there, and it would really hurt. Thus, any time you got punched on that bruise, it might hurt a lot more. People who didn't understand your bruise might think you were over-reacting, because they didn't know you were already hurt. Similarly, people of color might react strongly to racism if they have already been hurt many times.\\nThis context may help you understand the stress that the other person is experiencing. Keep it in mind, to help you empathize with them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid common logical fallacies about racist comments.\", \"描述\": \"Some people try to minimize or make excuses for what they've done. But this makes it worse, not better, because it implies you don't take it seriously. Here are some mistakes to recognize and avoid. \\n\\n \\\"I didn't mean anything bad\\\" can be true, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't have to apologize. A caring person apologizes for their mistakes, including total accidents.\\n The burden of stopping racism shouldn't only fall on its direct victims. For example, a black person can speak up against anti-Asian racism, and a white person can defend a Latinx friend.\\n\\n Some people will tell you they don't care if you insult them. That doesn't mean it isn't inappropriate, or that other people shouldn't object.\\n Research shows that disparaging jokes shape and reinforce negative attitudes. Prejudiced jokes can make people accept prejudice and may embolden prejudiced people to act in discriminatory ways. \\\"It's just a joke\\\" ignores serious consequences of normalizing racism.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take accusations seriously.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you don't understand why, act with the assumption that the person has a very good reason for saying that they’re offended. Racism isn't something that people take lightly. It's better to be too serious than to blow off someone else's pain.\\nIf someone points out a racist comment, they aren’t saying, \\\"You're a terrible person\\\" or even, “You’re a racist.” They are telling you that you said something hurtful. Don’t take it personally, but instead, recognize that they’re helping you see your blind spots.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask questions.\", \"描述\": \"You might wonder what was racist in your words. If so, ask the person. You might have a lot of questions, so ask them one at a time. For example, if you’re unclear, ask, “What did I say that was racist?” You might also wonder, “How was that offensive?” or, “What could I have said instead?” \\nDon't push them to explain if they're uncomfortable. While some people are willing to gently guide you through the painful world of racism, it isn't their job, so don't expect it, and express gratitude if they take time for you.\\nIf the interaction happens online, consider private messaging the person to talk about it further and ask your questions.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Take responsibility for your actions.\", \"描述\": \"Own up to what you said and accept any consequences that have (or may) occur. Taking responsibility means admitting that you said something hurtful and that there’s no excuse for it. It means you don’t blame anything or anyone else for what came out of your mouth.\\nTaking responsibility often doesn’t feel good, but it’s an important part of admitting your actions and showing that you’re sincere in taking steps to amend what went wrong.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Planning a Sincere Apology\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Plan your apology.\", \"描述\": \"Choose the circumstances around your apology carefully. For example, don’t casually bring it up in the middle of something or around strangers. Try to apologize in a private way. Choose a good time and a quiet setting that will facilitate the discussion and apology. Pick a time you know the person or people are available and have time to talk. Allow some time for discussion. \\nSay, “Is this a good time to talk?” or, “Can we talk tomorrow after class?” If they seem iffy, it may help to tell them that you want to talk to them to apologize.\\nYou don’t want to feel rushed in your apology, nor do you want the other person or people to feel awkward or uncomfortable.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Decide how to deliver your apology.\", \"描述\": \"In most cases, you’ll speak in-person to one person or a group of people. There are certain instances that may warrant a public apology. If you made a racist comment online, for example, you may want to publicly take responsibility and apologize for your comment. Or, if you made a comment in your workplace or classroom, you may want to revisit that space and those people and make amends. \\nYou may choose to write a letter. If you struggle to say things out loud or have difficulty wording your apology, try a letter (or email). This can help you say what you need to say how you want to say it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be sincere in your delivery.\", \"描述\": \"What you say should be heartfelt. If you are giggling and not trying to act serious, no one will take you seriously. Make it clear that you are serious about your apology and about racism. Believe that you mean what you say and really mean it.\\nFor example, you should know why you’re apologizing and why what you said was hurtful before you apologize.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Choose your words thoughtfully.\", \"描述\": \"You want to dig yourself out of a hole, not dig it further! Avoid trying to justify why you made your comment (“It was funny at the time”) or making a non-apology: the apology isn’t about how they feel or if they feel bad, it’s about your actions. Avoid saying things like, “I’m sorry if you feel bad” or, “I’m sorry you didn’t understand me.”\\nOne helpful technique is to use the word and instead of the word but, such as \\\"I'm sorry and I didn't mean it\\\" instead of \\\"I'm sorry but I didn't mean it.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Delivering a Thoughtful Apology\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge the hurt or foul.\", \"描述\": \"Start your apology by admitting responsibility, then acknowledge the hurt your comment caused. Show an understanding of how your words were hurtful and that you understand the pain they caused.\\nFor example, say, “I thought my comment was funny, but now I see how insensitive it was toward Black people, and I’m horrified I said that” or, “I was so thoughtless to say that, and I realize that I seriously hurt you.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Show remorse.\", \"描述\": \"It’s important to show that you feel bad about what you said. Even if you hurt the person unintentionally, you still can feel remorse for the effects of your racist comment. Remorse can express guilt, shame, embarrassment, or humility.\\n\\\"I'm sorry. I heard people using that word, but I didn't know exactly what it meant. I'm horrified that it has such negative connotations, and I would never have used it had I known. I'm truly sorry.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be specific.\", \"描述\": \"Speak specifically about what you did that was wrong. It’s best not to speak in generalities such as, “I’m sorry I said something racist.” Instead, say specifically what you did that was wrong and why it was offensive.\\nFor example, say, “My comment about Latinos sounded funny to me, but now I see that it was out of line and offensive. I'm going to make time to learn from this mistake.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Say, “I’m sorry.”\", \"描述\": \"It’s important that your apology contains the words “I’m sorry.” Make it clear to the person that you’re making an apology and not trying to make excuses or justify your words. Saying the words, “I’m sorry” makes it clear that you’re making an apology.\\nTry to say, “I’m sorry” early on in the apology. Don’t wait until the end of your apology to say that words or else it can be confusing.\\nMake sure your apology is genuine and assure them you want to make sure it won’t happen again.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid placing further emotional burdens on the person you apologized to.\", \"描述\": \"You may be feeling guilty and rotten inside (which is a sign that you are a good person with a functioning conscience). It is your responsibility to deal with those feelings, and the other person shouldn't have to hand-hold you through them. Focus on their feelings, not your own. You should be comforting them, not the other way around. \\nYou can mention your bad feelings without expecting the other person to fix them for you. \\\"I feel terrible for hurting you and I'm so sorry\\\" is a decent apology. \\\"I feel terrible, I can't sleep just thinking about it, and I've never felt this bad in my life, and you forgive me right, and...\\\" isn't appropriate.\\nIf you're struggling to process your feelings, talk to someone who isn't involved in the incident. For example, if you upset your friend from work, maybe you could talk to your mom about it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learning from the Experience\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Consider their feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Listen closely to their response and really consider what they say. Pay attention to their words and feelings and show that you’re listening by nodding occasionally and encouraging them to continue by saying, “I see” or, “Uh huh.” Respond to their words by validating their feelings and empathizing with them. See things from their point-of-view and understand why they feel the way they do. \\nFor example, say, “I can understand why you feel hurt” or, “I didn’t realize how much my comment affected you.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Assure them that you'll learn from this and avoid doing it again.\", \"描述\": \"Let the other person know that you're committed to doing better in the future. This helps in rebuilding trust and repairing a relationship. It also shows that you’ve learned from the experience and don’t want to hurt others. Just be sure to honor this commitment. \\nSay, “This was a painful experience, and I’ll be sure to be more careful with my words in the future.”\\nYou can also describe steps you're going to take to learn. For example, \\\"I'm going to read some books and blogs about anti-Asian racism to help me understand it better. If you have any recommendations, please feel free to share them.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make amends.\", \"描述\": \"Take your apology one step further by making amends. For example, say, “Is there anything I can do to make this up to you?” Think about anything you can do to improve or do better and share this with the person. However, don’t make empty promises or grandiose gestures as a way to relieve your guilt.\\nFor example, say, “I know this is a blind spot, so I’m signing up for an online class about racial diversity.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try reading up on racism to help you understand it better.\", \"描述\": \"This can help you be a better friend and help you avoid making similar missteps in the future. Learn more about racism from experts and anti-racist advocates. Understanding and getting comfortable with the topic can help you handle it with grace. \\nTry checking out library books about racism and how it works.\\nRead personal accounts of how people have been affected by racism. What were they exposed to? How did it feel for them? What did they wish people knew about it?\\nThere are even videos that make it silly with topics like \\\"If Asian people said the racist things some white people say.\\\" These let you both laugh and learn about racism.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take action on a larger scale.\", \"描述\": \"Perhaps this experience has opened your eyes to larger issues about race and you want to get involved in spreading awareness and equality. Join a diversity group at your school, university, or workplace to encourage working together. Get involved politically by raising awareness in your community or signing petitions that promote equality for people of all backgrounds. \\nDo what you can to promote awareness and sensitivity. Perhaps you might even stop someone and start a discussion about race after they make an offensive comment.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Everyone makes mistakes, and it takes courage and a strong sense of self to apologize and learn from it.\\n\", \"If you're dealing with someone that is difficult to work with, don't make anything harder than they need to be. If they won't accept it, don't try to make them.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,785 | How to Apologize in Spanish | 1. Making Everyday Apologies
1-1. Use "perdón" to excuse yourself in minor situations.
Perdón is essentially the Spanish equivalent to the English "pardon" or "excuse me."
"perdón", pronounced "perr-donn" can be used in most minor, everyday incidents, such as accidentally bumping into someone or interrupting someone.
Alternatively, you can say "perdóname", pronounced "perr-donn-ah-may", to give a more direct apology.
1-2. Use "disculpa" to apologize for minor incidents.
The word disculpa, which translates as "apology" or "excuse" and is pronounced as "dees-kool-pah" can be used to mean "forgive me." It is appropriate for minor incidents in which you need to excuse yourself. It can be used in the same situations as perdón.
When making an informal apology you would say "tú disculpa;" but when making a formal apology you would say "usted disculpe." When you say "tú disculpa" or "usted disculpe", you are literally saying "you forgive me", though it's an imperative.
As a result, "tú disculpa" and "usted disculpe" are listener-oriented apologies, because they make the listener the subject of the sentence. This structure, which is common in Spanish, places the emphasis on the listener's ability to forgive you rather than on your own feelings of regret.
Alternatively, you can just say "'discúlpame", pronounced "dees-kool-pah-meh", which simply means "forgive me" or "excuse me" (informal).
2. Making Serious Apologies
2-1. Use "lo siento" to express remorse or ask for forgiveness.
Lo siento, which literally means "I feel it," is the phrase that most novice Spanish speakers will learn as the all-purpose apology.
You can also say "lo siento mucho" or "lo siento muchísimo," meaning "I'm so sorry" or "I'm very sorry." Another variation with the same meaning is "cuánto lo siento." ( how sorry I am)
This apology is appropriate for serious situations such as the death of a loved one, a break-up, or a firing or layoff.
Lo siento is pronounced as "loh syenn-toh".
2-2. Say "lo lamento" to express deep regret.
Lo lamento literally means "I regret it." It can be used in place of lo siento to express remorse in more serious situations.
To say "I'm terribly sorry", you can use the phrase "lo lamento mucho", pronounced "loh lah-menn-toh moo-cho".
3. Using Apologetic Phrases
3-1. Say "I'm sorry about what happened".
To say this, use the phrase "siento lo ocurrido," which is pronounced as "syenn-toh loh oh-coo-ree-doh".
3-2. Say "a thousand apologies".
To say this, use the phrase "mil disculpas", which is pronounced "meel dees-kool-pahs".
3-3. Say "I owe you an apology".
To say this, use the phrase "te debo una disculpa", which is pronounced as "tay day-boh oo-nah dees-kool-pah".
3-4. Say "please accept my apology".
To say this, use the phrase "le ruego me disculpe" (informal), which is pronounced as "lay rway-go may dees-kool-pay".
3-5. Say "I'm sorry for the things I've said".
To say this, use the sentence Pido perdón por las cosas que he dicho, which is pronounced as Pee-doh perr-donn por las koh-sas kay ay dee-cho.
3-6. Say "I was wrong" or "it's my fault".
To say "I was wrong", use the phraseme equivoqué, pronounced "may eh-kee-boh-kay". To say "it's my fault" use the phrase "es culpa mía", pronounced "ess kool-pah me-ah".
3-7. Give a personalized apology.
Try using the Spanish apologies above combined with other vocabulary to construct an apology specific to your situation.
Tips
Take care to curate your facial expression and tone of voice to match the severity of your apology. As a non-native speaker, it can be difficult to focus on anything other than vocabulary and grammar, but note that the non-verbal aspect of your apology is generally used to indicate your sincerity.
At a burial ceremony when expressing condolences, see how others do it; you can shake hands with the men, not being energetic and lowering the head a bit, with women you can give them a light "A" hug plus a very light, single or double touch cheek to cheek. In both situations add in a subdued voice "lo siento mucho".
When among native Spanish speakers, take note of the way they apologize in various situations. Using these social cues will build your confidence in choosing an appropriate apology.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:08",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Making Everyday Apologies\\n1-1. Use \\\"perdón\\\" to excuse yourself in minor situations.\\nPerdón is essentially the Spanish equivalent to the English \\\"pardon\\\" or \\\"excuse me.\\\"\\n\\n\\\"perdón\\\", pronounced \\\"perr-donn\\\" can be used in most minor, everyday incidents, such as accidentally bumping into someone or interrupting someone.\\nAlternatively, you can say \\\"perdóname\\\", pronounced \\\"perr-donn-ah-may\\\", to give a more direct apology.\\n1-2. Use \\\"disculpa\\\" to apologize for minor incidents.\\nThe word disculpa, which translates as \\\"apology\\\" or \\\"excuse\\\" and is pronounced as \\\"dees-kool-pah\\\" can be used to mean \\\"forgive me.\\\" It is appropriate for minor incidents in which you need to excuse yourself. It can be used in the same situations as perdón.\\nWhen making an informal apology you would say \\\"tú disculpa;\\\" but when making a formal apology you would say \\\"usted disculpe.\\\" When you say \\\"tú disculpa\\\" or \\\"usted disculpe\\\", you are literally saying \\\"you forgive me\\\", though it's an imperative.\\nAs a result, \\\"tú disculpa\\\" and \\\"usted disculpe\\\" are listener-oriented apologies, because they make the listener the subject of the sentence. This structure, which is common in Spanish, places the emphasis on the listener's ability to forgive you rather than on your own feelings of regret.\\nAlternatively, you can just say \\\"'discúlpame\\\", pronounced \\\"dees-kool-pah-meh\\\", which simply means \\\"forgive me\\\" or \\\"excuse me\\\" (informal).\\n2. Making Serious Apologies\\n2-1. Use \\\"lo siento\\\" to express remorse or ask for forgiveness.\\nLo siento, which literally means \\\"I feel it,\\\" is the phrase that most novice Spanish speakers will learn as the all-purpose apology.\\nYou can also say \\\"lo siento mucho\\\" or \\\"lo siento muchísimo,\\\" meaning \\\"I'm so sorry\\\" or \\\"I'm very sorry.\\\" Another variation with the same meaning is \\\"cuánto lo siento.\\\" ( how sorry I am)\\nThis apology is appropriate for serious situations such as the death of a loved one, a break-up, or a firing or layoff.\\nLo siento is pronounced as \\\"loh syenn-toh\\\".\\n2-2. Say \\\"lo lamento\\\" to express deep regret.\\nLo lamento literally means \\\"I regret it.\\\" It can be used in place of lo siento to express remorse in more serious situations.\\nTo say \\\"I'm terribly sorry\\\", you can use the phrase \\\"lo lamento mucho\\\", pronounced \\\"loh lah-menn-toh moo-cho\\\".\\n3. Using Apologetic Phrases\\n3-1. Say \\\"I'm sorry about what happened\\\".\\nTo say this, use the phrase \\\"siento lo ocurrido,\\\" which is pronounced as \\\"syenn-toh loh oh-coo-ree-doh\\\".\\n3-2. Say \\\"a thousand apologies\\\".\\nTo say this, use the phrase \\\"mil disculpas\\\", which is pronounced \\\"meel dees-kool-pahs\\\".\\n3-3. Say \\\"I owe you an apology\\\".\\nTo say this, use the phrase \\\"te debo una disculpa\\\", which is pronounced as \\\"tay day-boh oo-nah dees-kool-pah\\\".\\n3-4. Say \\\"please accept my apology\\\".\\nTo say this, use the phrase \\\"le ruego me disculpe\\\" (informal), which is pronounced as \\\"lay rway-go may dees-kool-pay\\\".\\n3-5. Say \\\"I'm sorry for the things I've said\\\".\\nTo say this, use the sentence Pido perdón por las cosas que he dicho, which is pronounced as Pee-doh perr-donn por las koh-sas kay ay dee-cho.\\n3-6. Say \\\"I was wrong\\\" or \\\"it's my fault\\\".\\nTo say \\\"I was wrong\\\", use the phraseme equivoqué, pronounced \\\"may eh-kee-boh-kay\\\". To say \\\"it's my fault\\\" use the phrase \\\"es culpa mía\\\", pronounced \\\"ess kool-pah me-ah\\\".\\n3-7. Give a personalized apology.\\nTry using the Spanish apologies above combined with other vocabulary to construct an apology specific to your situation.\\nTips\\nTake care to curate your facial expression and tone of voice to match the severity of your apology. As a non-native speaker, it can be difficult to focus on anything other than vocabulary and grammar, but note that the non-verbal aspect of your apology is generally used to indicate your sincerity.\\nAt a burial ceremony when expressing condolences, see how others do it; you can shake hands with the men, not being energetic and lowering the head a bit, with women you can give them a light \\\"A\\\" hug plus a very light, single or double touch cheek to cheek. In both situations add in a subdued voice \\\"lo siento mucho\\\".\\nWhen among native Spanish speakers, take note of the way they apologize in various situations. Using these social cues will build your confidence in choosing an appropriate apology.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Learning how to apologize in Spanish is no mean feat, as there are multiple ways of saying you're sorry, excusing yourself or asking for forgiveness, all of which vary depending on the context. Whether you're asking someone to pardon a minor behavioral issue or asking for forgiveness for a larger transgression, knowing how to use an appropriate apology for the situation is important. Luckily this article will show you how!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Making Everyday Apologies\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use \\\"perdón\\\" to excuse yourself in minor situations.\", \"描述\": \"Perdón is essentially the Spanish equivalent to the English \\\"pardon\\\" or \\\"excuse me.\\\"\\n\\n\\\"perdón\\\", pronounced \\\"perr-donn\\\" can be used in most minor, everyday incidents, such as accidentally bumping into someone or interrupting someone.\\nAlternatively, you can say \\\"perdóname\\\", pronounced \\\"perr-donn-ah-may\\\", to give a more direct apology.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use \\\"disculpa\\\" to apologize for minor incidents.\", \"描述\": \"The word disculpa, which translates as \\\"apology\\\" or \\\"excuse\\\" and is pronounced as \\\"dees-kool-pah\\\" can be used to mean \\\"forgive me.\\\" It is appropriate for minor incidents in which you need to excuse yourself. It can be used in the same situations as perdón.\\nWhen making an informal apology you would say \\\"tú disculpa;\\\" but when making a formal apology you would say \\\"usted disculpe.\\\" When you say \\\"tú disculpa\\\" or \\\"usted disculpe\\\", you are literally saying \\\"you forgive me\\\", though it's an imperative.\\nAs a result, \\\"tú disculpa\\\" and \\\"usted disculpe\\\" are listener-oriented apologies, because they make the listener the subject of the sentence. This structure, which is common in Spanish, places the emphasis on the listener's ability to forgive you rather than on your own feelings of regret.\\nAlternatively, you can just say \\\"'discúlpame\\\", pronounced \\\"dees-kool-pah-meh\\\", which simply means \\\"forgive me\\\" or \\\"excuse me\\\" (informal).\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making Serious Apologies\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use \\\"lo siento\\\" to express remorse or ask for forgiveness.\", \"描述\": \"Lo siento, which literally means \\\"I feel it,\\\" is the phrase that most novice Spanish speakers will learn as the all-purpose apology.\\nYou can also say \\\"lo siento mucho\\\" or \\\"lo siento muchísimo,\\\" meaning \\\"I'm so sorry\\\" or \\\"I'm very sorry.\\\" Another variation with the same meaning is \\\"cuánto lo siento.\\\" ( how sorry I am)\\nThis apology is appropriate for serious situations such as the death of a loved one, a break-up, or a firing or layoff.\\nLo siento is pronounced as \\\"loh syenn-toh\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Say \\\"lo lamento\\\" to express deep regret.\", \"描述\": \"Lo lamento literally means \\\"I regret it.\\\" It can be used in place of lo siento to express remorse in more serious situations.\\nTo say \\\"I'm terribly sorry\\\", you can use the phrase \\\"lo lamento mucho\\\", pronounced \\\"loh lah-menn-toh moo-cho\\\".\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Using Apologetic Phrases\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Say \\\"I'm sorry about what happened\\\".\", \"描述\": \"To say this, use the phrase \\\"siento lo ocurrido,\\\" which is pronounced as \\\"syenn-toh loh oh-coo-ree-doh\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Say \\\"a thousand apologies\\\".\", \"描述\": \"To say this, use the phrase \\\"mil disculpas\\\", which is pronounced \\\"meel dees-kool-pahs\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Say \\\"I owe you an apology\\\".\", \"描述\": \"To say this, use the phrase \\\"te debo una disculpa\\\", which is pronounced as \\\"tay day-boh oo-nah dees-kool-pah\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Say \\\"please accept my apology\\\".\", \"描述\": \"To say this, use the phrase \\\"le ruego me disculpe\\\" (informal), which is pronounced as \\\"lay rway-go may dees-kool-pay\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Say \\\"I'm sorry for the things I've said\\\".\", \"描述\": \"To say this, use the sentence Pido perdón por las cosas que he dicho, which is pronounced as Pee-doh perr-donn por las koh-sas kay ay dee-cho.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Say \\\"I was wrong\\\" or \\\"it's my fault\\\".\", \"描述\": \"To say \\\"I was wrong\\\", use the phraseme equivoqué, pronounced \\\"may eh-kee-boh-kay\\\". To say \\\"it's my fault\\\" use the phrase \\\"es culpa mía\\\", pronounced \\\"ess kool-pah me-ah\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Give a personalized apology.\", \"描述\": \"Try using the Spanish apologies above combined with other vocabulary to construct an apology specific to your situation.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Take care to curate your facial expression and tone of voice to match the severity of your apology. As a non-native speaker, it can be difficult to focus on anything other than vocabulary and grammar, but note that the non-verbal aspect of your apology is generally used to indicate your sincerity.\\n\", \"At a burial ceremony when expressing condolences, see how others do it; you can shake hands with the men, not being energetic and lowering the head a bit, with women you can give them a light \\\"A\\\" hug plus a very light, single or double touch cheek to cheek. In both situations add in a subdued voice \\\"lo siento mucho\\\".\\n\", \"When among native Spanish speakers, take note of the way they apologize in various situations. Using these social cues will build your confidence in choosing an appropriate apology.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,786 | How to Sincerely Apologize When You Hurt Someone By Mistake | 1. What is an unintentional mistake?
An unintentional mistake means you hurt someone without trying to.
Essentially, you said or did something that was meant to be harmless, but your actions still ended up causing harm to that person. Even if your actions were well-intended, they still warrant an apology because someone ended up hurt all the same.
Remember that everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes don’t make you a bad person, but taking responsibility for them is important: owning up to what you did and doing your best to fix it.
Examples of unintentional mistakes include speaking without thinking, breaking something accidentally, inconveniencing someone, sharing a secret you didn’t realize was meant to stay confidential, and so on.
2. Why should you apologize if you didn’t mean to hurt someone?
2-1. Apologizing is kinder and more considerate than getting defensive.
If you didn't mean to hurt someone, the prospect of taking responsibility might make you feel defensive. It might feel unfair to take responsibility for an unintentional mistake. Although your actions may have been well-intended, apologizing isn't about that; it's about acknowledging how your actions made the other person feel.
It’s extremely important to move past any feelings of defensiveness you might feel after hurting someone unintentionally.
Accept that harm happened, whether or not you meant to do it, and you are therefore responsible for it —and for making amends.
2-2. Making apologies can be uncomfortable, but it shows your maturity.
Apologizing is a daunting thing for many people, and when you don’t even realize you were doing something wrong, it can be even more of a struggle. Realizing you hurt someone by accident can make you feel anxious, uneasy, or shocked, but your ability to move past those feelings and apologize is a sign of courage and compassion.
2-3. Hurting a person can cause them to act differently around you.
You can usually tell if someone is hurting by their behavior. They might be angry, upset, or sad, which can affect their attitude toward you. You may even notice that they’ve been avoiding you. To them, your mistake warrants an apology, even if you don't realize it. Other signs someone is upset with you include:
Their tone of voice changes when they interact with you.
They seem less engaged in your conversations than usual.
They have detached body language, including crossed or folded arms.
Their face seems tense or unhappy.
They seem strangely reluctant to spend time with you.
3. How to Make a Good Apology
3-1. Prepare beforehand so you can give a thoughtful apology.
Planning out your apology can help you organize your thoughts, making it easier to say exactly what you mean to say in the moment. It’ll also help your official apology sound more natural and meaningful because you took the time to think through what you wanted to say first.
Try writing a basic outline of your apology if you plan on verbally delivering it in person. That way, you’ll know the most important talking points and will likely feel better knowing you have a plan.
If you’re sending a written apology to someone, ask a couple of people you trust to proofread it first.
3-2. Be sincere so the other person can see you mean what you say.
Sincerity is the most important part of any apology because it proves that your words are trustworthy. If you say something insincerely, they might find it hard to believe you—and, in the long run, forgive you. Be genuine so they can see you know you did something wrong and truly regret it. To show sincerity, you can:
Use sincere body language. Make eye contact while keeping your body relaxed and angled toward the person you’re apologizing to.
Use a natural tone of voice to show the other person you’re speaking from the heart. Avoid speaking in a stiff, flat tone.
Always be honest and speak your truth without being condescending or rude.
Say the other person’s name in your apology to convey respect and sincerity.
Empathize with the other person. Put yourself in their shoes and consider how they feel so you can offer a more genuine and thoughtful apology.
3-3. Express genuine regret for what you did.
When you hurt someone intentionally, it’s important to let them know how sorry you are. Tell them you regret your actions and you regret that they hurt the other person. If you say “sorry” without expressing true regret, the other person might assume you don’t really care that you hurt them. That’s why feeling and expressing regret is critical to a good apology.
For example, you might say, “I’m sorry for what I did. I feel awful knowing you were upset over this.”
Don’t turn the apology into a debate by saying, “I’m sorry if I hurt you,” or “I’m sorry, but I didn’t think you’d mind.” Even unintentionally, you hurt them, so the best thing to do is say “I’m sorry” without being defensive.
3-4. Explain what happened and why using detailed “I” statements.
Make your apology stronger by showing you fully understand the situation. Include details about what happened, why it happened, and what you plan to do about it. Naming what happened won’t make up for the mistake, but it helps the other person see you that understand what went wrong and why your actions were harmful.
If a friend felt neglected because you didn’t include them, you could say, “I didn’t think to invite you to the movies. I assumed you wouldn’t want to go since you don’t like horror films, but I should’ve asked anyway.”
Using “I” statements (like in the example above) is also an important part of apologizing. When you describe a situation, focus on yourself and what you did. “I” statements help you take direct responsibility for what happened.
Remember: offering clarity doesn’t mean making excuses. All you need to do is objectively describe the situation and then acknowledge where you went wrong.
3-5. Acknowledge the other person’s feelings to show them you care.
Even if your intentions were good, they led to a mistake that harmed someone. In your apology, directly acknowledge that you hurt them. Describe how your mistake made them feel and emphasize your remorse for their emotional turmoil so they can see you care and want to understand the situation better.
For example: “Thank you for sharing your feelings with me. I can see that my actions made you feel excluded, and that was never my intention.”
Acknowledge that they’re hurting without trying to undercut or downplay it. For example, “I’m sorry that my actions hurt you so badly” is a good way to describe the impact of your mistake.
The more upfront you are about acknowledging the other person’s hurt feelings, the more they’ll likely appreciate your apology.
3-6. Take responsibility for your mistake and accept the blame for it.
Admitting that you’re at fault for the other person’s hurt feelings can go a long way toward earning their forgiveness. It can be tough to admit you’re in the wrong, but taking responsibility for what you did (and how it affected the other person) shows that you’re a mature, courageous, and thoughtful person.
For example: “I really messed up by not inviting you to the movie. I know I hurt your feelings, and I have no intention of making that mistake again.”
3-7. Ask for their forgiveness and how you can make it up to them.
Making an apology doesn’t mean the other person automatically owes you forgiveness, so asking for it shows care and thoughtfulness. After asking for forgiveness, let them know that you want to make amends, and tell them how you plan to do that. If they can see that you want to do better, they’re more likely to accept the apology.
For example: “I really hope you can forgive me. In the future, I’m going to check in with everyone before making group plans, no matter what. If there’s anything I can do now to make it up to you, I’m happy to do it.”
It’s also important to forgive yourself. Yes, feeling regret is an important part of apologizing, but once all is said and done, try to let go of your regret, forgive yourself, and move forward.
3-8. Listen actively to the other person and try to understand them better.
Rather than rushing to apologize, make an effort to ask them what's wrong and listen to their response. Practice active listening, paying attention rather than preparing a rebuttal. By actively listening to them, you’ll gain more insight into how your mistake impacted them, and you can use that to inform your apology.
For example, if you’re unsure what you did to offend someone, try asking what’s wrong and listening to their explanation.
If they say you didn’t call when you were supposed to, you can base your apology on how frustrated and neglected your mistake must have made the other person feel because listening to them gives you that extra perspective.
3-9. Give an apology free of excuses, justifications, or shifting blame.
Excuses and justifications will only end up undermining your apology. It will likely make the other person feel like you’re refusing to take responsibility for what happened, which can really hurt. No matter how defensive you feel, remember that the easiest way through this is to apologize without trying to excuse what happened.
Avoid excuses like, “I know this sucks, but it’s not really my fault,” or “In my defense, you didn’t tell me what you wanted me to do.”
Justifying what you did can also feel like you’re invalidating the other person’s feelings. Avoid saying things like, “Well, even if you didn’t like it, I felt like it was the right thing to do at the time.”
3-10. Apologize as soon as you can to stop resentment from growing.
The longer you let things sit after unintentionally hurting someone, the more likely they are to develop resentment or pull away from you. Their feelings are hurt, and they’ll likely need some resolution to move past that. Therefore, try to apologize as soon as possible after you realize you made a mistake.
Since your mistake was unintentional, it’s understandable if you don’t realize there’s a problem right away. The important thing is acting swiftly once you have that realization.
It’s also perfectly okay to take a little time to collect your thoughts. Don’t rush into an apology if you’re still feeling defensive or unsure what to say; it’s better to give yourself a little time to prepare.
3-11. Say you’re sorry to someone in person whenever possible.
There are a lot of different ways to apologize, but the most direct and meaningful way to do so is usually face-to-face with the person you hurt. However, depending on personal comfort or the type of relationship you have with this person, it might make sense to apologize another way—over text, by phone, or by email, for example.
Use your best judgment when determining the type of apology you want to give someone.
For example, if they won’t meet up with you or you tend to get tongue-tied and want to make sure your apology is as good as it can be, it might make more sense to send a written apology.
Depending on your relationship with them, you might consider a gift or thoughtful gesture alongside your apology. You could bring them flowers, write them a card, or put together a homemade gift.
4. Following Up After the Apology
4-1. Give them time to process your apology and be patient.
Even if you give a heartfelt apology, don’t expect the other person to let go of their hurt or anger and move on right away. They might need some time to process, and that’s okay. Take a step back and give them the time they need, be patient, and be available when they finally reach out to you.
In your apology, you might even say (or write) something along the lines of “I understand if you can’t accept my apology now, but I want to try to make things right.”
This shows them that you’re sensitive to their feelings and won’t force them to feel a certain way, making forgiveness more likely.
4-2. Commit to changing your behavior without repeating mistakes.
After you apologize, the best way to show someone you meant your words is to back them up with actions. Make a point to change your ways, especially if you promised to do so while offering to make things right in your apology. Take actionable steps to prove that you want to do better in the future and win back the other person’s trust.
For example, if you apologized for accidentally “ghosting” someone for a few days, you could outline your plan to check your phone for messages at specific times and set alarms to get in the habit of replying to them regularly.
Then, once you decide how to fix your mistake, put those plans into practice. This proves to the other person that you’re more than just talk, and that you sincerely want to make things better.
4-3. Be prepared to apologize more than once if necessary.
Sometimes, one apology isn’t enough. That won’t always be the case, but depending on the severity of your mistake, the person you accidentally hurt might not be prepared to accept your first apology. Apologize a second time later if they’re willing to hear you out, but remember that your goal with each apology should be making amends—not getting forgiveness.
Try not to keep on apologizing over and over again, especially if they aren’t receptive to hearing you out.
Apologizing two or three times might help, but continually saying “I’m sorry” beyond that might wear the other person down.
4-4. Do something nice for them to show that you regret your actions.
Look for something you can do to make the other person’s life a little easier. You could tackle a chore or errand for them, make dinner for them, give them a ride somewhere, or do anything else you don’t normally do for them. Helping out can prove to them you’re sorry and that you’d like to make a difference in whatever way you can.
Offer your help directly instead of waiting to be asked. Be proactive to show them you're serious about your desire to help.
Remember: if they refuse your help, don’t force it on them. Just keep asking now and again, gently, until they’re willing to let you help.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:09",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. What is an unintentional mistake?\\nAn unintentional mistake means you hurt someone without trying to.\\nEssentially, you said or did something that was meant to be harmless, but your actions still ended up causing harm to that person. Even if your actions were well-intended, they still warrant an apology because someone ended up hurt all the same.\\nRemember that everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes don’t make you a bad person, but taking responsibility for them is important: owning up to what you did and doing your best to fix it.\\nExamples of unintentional mistakes include speaking without thinking, breaking something accidentally, inconveniencing someone, sharing a secret you didn’t realize was meant to stay confidential, and so on.\\n2. Why should you apologize if you didn’t mean to hurt someone?\\n2-1. Apologizing is kinder and more considerate than getting defensive.\\nIf you didn't mean to hurt someone, the prospect of taking responsibility might make you feel defensive. It might feel unfair to take responsibility for an unintentional mistake. Although your actions may have been well-intended, apologizing isn't about that; it's about acknowledging how your actions made the other person feel.\\nIt’s extremely important to move past any feelings of defensiveness you might feel after hurting someone unintentionally.\\nAccept that harm happened, whether or not you meant to do it, and you are therefore responsible for it —and for making amends.\\n2-2. Making apologies can be uncomfortable, but it shows your maturity.\\nApologizing is a daunting thing for many people, and when you don’t even realize you were doing something wrong, it can be even more of a struggle. Realizing you hurt someone by accident can make you feel anxious, uneasy, or shocked, but your ability to move past those feelings and apologize is a sign of courage and compassion.\\n2-3. Hurting a person can cause them to act differently around you.\\nYou can usually tell if someone is hurting by their behavior. They might be angry, upset, or sad, which can affect their attitude toward you. You may even notice that they’ve been avoiding you. To them, your mistake warrants an apology, even if you don't realize it. Other signs someone is upset with you include:\\nTheir tone of voice changes when they interact with you.\\nThey seem less engaged in your conversations than usual.\\nThey have detached body language, including crossed or folded arms.\\nTheir face seems tense or unhappy.\\nThey seem strangely reluctant to spend time with you.\\n3. How to Make a Good Apology\\n3-1. Prepare beforehand so you can give a thoughtful apology.\\nPlanning out your apology can help you organize your thoughts, making it easier to say exactly what you mean to say in the moment. It’ll also help your official apology sound more natural and meaningful because you took the time to think through what you wanted to say first.\\nTry writing a basic outline of your apology if you plan on verbally delivering it in person. That way, you’ll know the most important talking points and will likely feel better knowing you have a plan.\\nIf you’re sending a written apology to someone, ask a couple of people you trust to proofread it first.\\n3-2. Be sincere so the other person can see you mean what you say.\\nSincerity is the most important part of any apology because it proves that your words are trustworthy. If you say something insincerely, they might find it hard to believe you—and, in the long run, forgive you. Be genuine so they can see you know you did something wrong and truly regret it. To show sincerity, you can:\\nUse sincere body language. Make eye contact while keeping your body relaxed and angled toward the person you’re apologizing to.\\nUse a natural tone of voice to show the other person you’re speaking from the heart. Avoid speaking in a stiff, flat tone.\\nAlways be honest and speak your truth without being condescending or rude.\\nSay the other person’s name in your apology to convey respect and sincerity.\\nEmpathize with the other person. Put yourself in their shoes and consider how they feel so you can offer a more genuine and thoughtful apology.\\n3-3. Express genuine regret for what you did.\\nWhen you hurt someone intentionally, it’s important to let them know how sorry you are. Tell them you regret your actions and you regret that they hurt the other person. If you say “sorry” without expressing true regret, the other person might assume you don’t really care that you hurt them. That’s why feeling and expressing regret is critical to a good apology.\\nFor example, you might say, “I’m sorry for what I did. I feel awful knowing you were upset over this.”\\nDon’t turn the apology into a debate by saying, “I’m sorry if I hurt you,” or “I’m sorry, but I didn’t think you’d mind.” Even unintentionally, you hurt them, so the best thing to do is say “I’m sorry” without being defensive.\\n3-4. Explain what happened and why using detailed “I” statements.\\nMake your apology stronger by showing you fully understand the situation. Include details about what happened, why it happened, and what you plan to do about it. Naming what happened won’t make up for the mistake, but it helps the other person see you that understand what went wrong and why your actions were harmful.\\nIf a friend felt neglected because you didn’t include them, you could say, “I didn’t think to invite you to the movies. I assumed you wouldn’t want to go since you don’t like horror films, but I should’ve asked anyway.”\\nUsing “I” statements (like in the example above) is also an important part of apologizing. When you describe a situation, focus on yourself and what you did. “I” statements help you take direct responsibility for what happened.\\nRemember: offering clarity doesn’t mean making excuses. All you need to do is objectively describe the situation and then acknowledge where you went wrong.\\n3-5. Acknowledge the other person’s feelings to show them you care.\\nEven if your intentions were good, they led to a mistake that harmed someone. In your apology, directly acknowledge that you hurt them. Describe how your mistake made them feel and emphasize your remorse for their emotional turmoil so they can see you care and want to understand the situation better.\\nFor example: “Thank you for sharing your feelings with me. I can see that my actions made you feel excluded, and that was never my intention.”\\nAcknowledge that they’re hurting without trying to undercut or downplay it. For example, “I’m sorry that my actions hurt you so badly” is a good way to describe the impact of your mistake.\\nThe more upfront you are about acknowledging the other person’s hurt feelings, the more they’ll likely appreciate your apology.\\n3-6. Take responsibility for your mistake and accept the blame for it.\\nAdmitting that you’re at fault for the other person’s hurt feelings can go a long way toward earning their forgiveness. It can be tough to admit you’re in the wrong, but taking responsibility for what you did (and how it affected the other person) shows that you’re a mature, courageous, and thoughtful person.\\nFor example: “I really messed up by not inviting you to the movie. I know I hurt your feelings, and I have no intention of making that mistake again.”\\n3-7. Ask for their forgiveness and how you can make it up to them.\\nMaking an apology doesn’t mean the other person automatically owes you forgiveness, so asking for it shows care and thoughtfulness. After asking for forgiveness, let them know that you want to make amends, and tell them how you plan to do that. If they can see that you want to do better, they’re more likely to accept the apology.\\nFor example: “I really hope you can forgive me. In the future, I’m going to check in with everyone before making group plans, no matter what. If there’s anything I can do now to make it up to you, I’m happy to do it.”\\nIt’s also important to forgive yourself. Yes, feeling regret is an important part of apologizing, but once all is said and done, try to let go of your regret, forgive yourself, and move forward.\\n3-8. Listen actively to the other person and try to understand them better.\\nRather than rushing to apologize, make an effort to ask them what's wrong and listen to their response. Practice active listening, paying attention rather than preparing a rebuttal. By actively listening to them, you’ll gain more insight into how your mistake impacted them, and you can use that to inform your apology.\\nFor example, if you’re unsure what you did to offend someone, try asking what’s wrong and listening to their explanation.\\nIf they say you didn’t call when you were supposed to, you can base your apology on how frustrated and neglected your mistake must have made the other person feel because listening to them gives you that extra perspective.\\n3-9. Give an apology free of excuses, justifications, or shifting blame.\\nExcuses and justifications will only end up undermining your apology. It will likely make the other person feel like you’re refusing to take responsibility for what happened, which can really hurt. No matter how defensive you feel, remember that the easiest way through this is to apologize without trying to excuse what happened.\\nAvoid excuses like, “I know this sucks, but it’s not really my fault,” or “In my defense, you didn’t tell me what you wanted me to do.”\\nJustifying what you did can also feel like you’re invalidating the other person’s feelings. Avoid saying things like, “Well, even if you didn’t like it, I felt like it was the right thing to do at the time.”\\n3-10. Apologize as soon as you can to stop resentment from growing.\\nThe longer you let things sit after unintentionally hurting someone, the more likely they are to develop resentment or pull away from you. Their feelings are hurt, and they’ll likely need some resolution to move past that. Therefore, try to apologize as soon as possible after you realize you made a mistake.\\nSince your mistake was unintentional, it’s understandable if you don’t realize there’s a problem right away. The important thing is acting swiftly once you have that realization.\\nIt’s also perfectly okay to take a little time to collect your thoughts. Don’t rush into an apology if you’re still feeling defensive or unsure what to say; it’s better to give yourself a little time to prepare.\\n3-11. Say you’re sorry to someone in person whenever possible.\\nThere are a lot of different ways to apologize, but the most direct and meaningful way to do so is usually face-to-face with the person you hurt. However, depending on personal comfort or the type of relationship you have with this person, it might make sense to apologize another way—over text, by phone, or by email, for example.\\nUse your best judgment when determining the type of apology you want to give someone.\\nFor example, if they won’t meet up with you or you tend to get tongue-tied and want to make sure your apology is as good as it can be, it might make more sense to send a written apology.\\nDepending on your relationship with them, you might consider a gift or thoughtful gesture alongside your apology. You could bring them flowers, write them a card, or put together a homemade gift.\\n4. Following Up After the Apology\\n4-1. Give them time to process your apology and be patient.\\nEven if you give a heartfelt apology, don’t expect the other person to let go of their hurt or anger and move on right away. They might need some time to process, and that’s okay. Take a step back and give them the time they need, be patient, and be available when they finally reach out to you.\\nIn your apology, you might even say (or write) something along the lines of “I understand if you can’t accept my apology now, but I want to try to make things right.”\\nThis shows them that you’re sensitive to their feelings and won’t force them to feel a certain way, making forgiveness more likely.\\n4-2. Commit to changing your behavior without repeating mistakes.\\nAfter you apologize, the best way to show someone you meant your words is to back them up with actions. Make a point to change your ways, especially if you promised to do so while offering to make things right in your apology. Take actionable steps to prove that you want to do better in the future and win back the other person’s trust.\\nFor example, if you apologized for accidentally “ghosting” someone for a few days, you could outline your plan to check your phone for messages at specific times and set alarms to get in the habit of replying to them regularly.\\nThen, once you decide how to fix your mistake, put those plans into practice. This proves to the other person that you’re more than just talk, and that you sincerely want to make things better.\\n4-3. Be prepared to apologize more than once if necessary.\\nSometimes, one apology isn’t enough. That won’t always be the case, but depending on the severity of your mistake, the person you accidentally hurt might not be prepared to accept your first apology. Apologize a second time later if they’re willing to hear you out, but remember that your goal with each apology should be making amends—not getting forgiveness.\\nTry not to keep on apologizing over and over again, especially if they aren’t receptive to hearing you out.\\nApologizing two or three times might help, but continually saying “I’m sorry” beyond that might wear the other person down.\\n4-4. Do something nice for them to show that you regret your actions.\\nLook for something you can do to make the other person’s life a little easier. You could tackle a chore or errand for them, make dinner for them, give them a ride somewhere, or do anything else you don’t normally do for them. Helping out can prove to them you’re sorry and that you’d like to make a difference in whatever way you can.\\nOffer your help directly instead of waiting to be asked. Be proactive to show them you're serious about your desire to help.\\nRemember: if they refuse your help, don’t force it on them. Just keep asking now and again, gently, until they’re willing to let you help.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Are you worried that you may have hurt someone’s feelings unintentionally and don’t know how to make things right? We’re here to help you out. Everyone makes mistakes, but learning to apologize for them can help you maintain happy relationships in your life. Read on, and we’ll teach you how to recognize unintentional mistakes, why they deserve an apology, and how to craft your own heartfelt apology.This article is based on an interview with our licensed clinical psychologist, Gera Anderson. Check out the full interview here.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"What is an unintentional mistake?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"An unintentional mistake means you hurt someone without trying to.\", \"描述\": \"Essentially, you said or did something that was meant to be harmless, but your actions still ended up causing harm to that person. Even if your actions were well-intended, they still warrant an apology because someone ended up hurt all the same.\\nRemember that everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes don’t make you a bad person, but taking responsibility for them is important: owning up to what you did and doing your best to fix it.\\nExamples of unintentional mistakes include speaking without thinking, breaking something accidentally, inconveniencing someone, sharing a secret you didn’t realize was meant to stay confidential, and so on.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Why should you apologize if you didn’t mean to hurt someone?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Apologizing is kinder and more considerate than getting defensive.\", \"描述\": \"If you didn't mean to hurt someone, the prospect of taking responsibility might make you feel defensive. It might feel unfair to take responsibility for an unintentional mistake. Although your actions may have been well-intended, apologizing isn't about that; it's about acknowledging how your actions made the other person feel.\\nIt’s extremely important to move past any feelings of defensiveness you might feel after hurting someone unintentionally.\\nAccept that harm happened, whether or not you meant to do it, and you are therefore responsible for it —and for making amends.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making apologies can be uncomfortable, but it shows your maturity.\", \"描述\": \"Apologizing is a daunting thing for many people, and when you don’t even realize you were doing something wrong, it can be even more of a struggle. Realizing you hurt someone by accident can make you feel anxious, uneasy, or shocked, but your ability to move past those feelings and apologize is a sign of courage and compassion.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Hurting a person can cause them to act differently around you.\", \"描述\": \"You can usually tell if someone is hurting by their behavior. They might be angry, upset, or sad, which can affect their attitude toward you. You may even notice that they’ve been avoiding you. To them, your mistake warrants an apology, even if you don't realize it. Other signs someone is upset with you include:\\nTheir tone of voice changes when they interact with you.\\nThey seem less engaged in your conversations than usual.\\nThey have detached body language, including crossed or folded arms.\\nTheir face seems tense or unhappy.\\nThey seem strangely reluctant to spend time with you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"How to Make a Good Apology\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Prepare beforehand so you can give a thoughtful apology.\", \"描述\": \"Planning out your apology can help you organize your thoughts, making it easier to say exactly what you mean to say in the moment. It’ll also help your official apology sound more natural and meaningful because you took the time to think through what you wanted to say first.\\nTry writing a basic outline of your apology if you plan on verbally delivering it in person. That way, you’ll know the most important talking points and will likely feel better knowing you have a plan.\\nIf you’re sending a written apology to someone, ask a couple of people you trust to proofread it first.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be sincere so the other person can see you mean what you say.\", \"描述\": \"Sincerity is the most important part of any apology because it proves that your words are trustworthy. If you say something insincerely, they might find it hard to believe you—and, in the long run, forgive you. Be genuine so they can see you know you did something wrong and truly regret it. To show sincerity, you can:\\nUse sincere body language. Make eye contact while keeping your body relaxed and angled toward the person you’re apologizing to.\\nUse a natural tone of voice to show the other person you’re speaking from the heart. Avoid speaking in a stiff, flat tone.\\nAlways be honest and speak your truth without being condescending or rude.\\nSay the other person’s name in your apology to convey respect and sincerity.\\nEmpathize with the other person. Put yourself in their shoes and consider how they feel so you can offer a more genuine and thoughtful apology.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Express genuine regret for what you did.\", \"描述\": \"When you hurt someone intentionally, it’s important to let them know how sorry you are. Tell them you regret your actions and you regret that they hurt the other person. If you say “sorry” without expressing true regret, the other person might assume you don’t really care that you hurt them. That’s why feeling and expressing regret is critical to a good apology.\\nFor example, you might say, “I’m sorry for what I did. I feel awful knowing you were upset over this.”\\nDon’t turn the apology into a debate by saying, “I’m sorry if I hurt you,” or “I’m sorry, but I didn’t think you’d mind.” Even unintentionally, you hurt them, so the best thing to do is say “I’m sorry” without being defensive.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Explain what happened and why using detailed “I” statements.\", \"描述\": \"Make your apology stronger by showing you fully understand the situation. Include details about what happened, why it happened, and what you plan to do about it. Naming what happened won’t make up for the mistake, but it helps the other person see you that understand what went wrong and why your actions were harmful.\\nIf a friend felt neglected because you didn’t include them, you could say, “I didn’t think to invite you to the movies. I assumed you wouldn’t want to go since you don’t like horror films, but I should’ve asked anyway.”\\nUsing “I” statements (like in the example above) is also an important part of apologizing. When you describe a situation, focus on yourself and what you did. “I” statements help you take direct responsibility for what happened.\\nRemember: offering clarity doesn’t mean making excuses. All you need to do is objectively describe the situation and then acknowledge where you went wrong.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge the other person’s feelings to show them you care.\", \"描述\": \"Even if your intentions were good, they led to a mistake that harmed someone. In your apology, directly acknowledge that you hurt them. Describe how your mistake made them feel and emphasize your remorse for their emotional turmoil so they can see you care and want to understand the situation better.\\nFor example: “Thank you for sharing your feelings with me. I can see that my actions made you feel excluded, and that was never my intention.”\\nAcknowledge that they’re hurting without trying to undercut or downplay it. For example, “I’m sorry that my actions hurt you so badly” is a good way to describe the impact of your mistake.\\nThe more upfront you are about acknowledging the other person’s hurt feelings, the more they’ll likely appreciate your apology.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Take responsibility for your mistake and accept the blame for it.\", \"描述\": \"Admitting that you’re at fault for the other person’s hurt feelings can go a long way toward earning their forgiveness. It can be tough to admit you’re in the wrong, but taking responsibility for what you did (and how it affected the other person) shows that you’re a mature, courageous, and thoughtful person.\\nFor example: “I really messed up by not inviting you to the movie. I know I hurt your feelings, and I have no intention of making that mistake again.”\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Ask for their forgiveness and how you can make it up to them.\", \"描述\": \"Making an apology doesn’t mean the other person automatically owes you forgiveness, so asking for it shows care and thoughtfulness. After asking for forgiveness, let them know that you want to make amends, and tell them how you plan to do that. If they can see that you want to do better, they’re more likely to accept the apology.\\nFor example: “I really hope you can forgive me. In the future, I’m going to check in with everyone before making group plans, no matter what. If there’s anything I can do now to make it up to you, I’m happy to do it.”\\nIt’s also important to forgive yourself. Yes, feeling regret is an important part of apologizing, but once all is said and done, try to let go of your regret, forgive yourself, and move forward.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Listen actively to the other person and try to understand them better.\", \"描述\": \"Rather than rushing to apologize, make an effort to ask them what's wrong and listen to their response. Practice active listening, paying attention rather than preparing a rebuttal. By actively listening to them, you’ll gain more insight into how your mistake impacted them, and you can use that to inform your apology.\\nFor example, if you’re unsure what you did to offend someone, try asking what’s wrong and listening to their explanation.\\nIf they say you didn’t call when you were supposed to, you can base your apology on how frustrated and neglected your mistake must have made the other person feel because listening to them gives you that extra perspective.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Give an apology free of excuses, justifications, or shifting blame.\", \"描述\": \"Excuses and justifications will only end up undermining your apology. It will likely make the other person feel like you’re refusing to take responsibility for what happened, which can really hurt. No matter how defensive you feel, remember that the easiest way through this is to apologize without trying to excuse what happened.\\nAvoid excuses like, “I know this sucks, but it’s not really my fault,” or “In my defense, you didn’t tell me what you wanted me to do.”\\nJustifying what you did can also feel like you’re invalidating the other person’s feelings. Avoid saying things like, “Well, even if you didn’t like it, I felt like it was the right thing to do at the time.”\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Apologize as soon as you can to stop resentment from growing.\", \"描述\": \"The longer you let things sit after unintentionally hurting someone, the more likely they are to develop resentment or pull away from you. Their feelings are hurt, and they’ll likely need some resolution to move past that. Therefore, try to apologize as soon as possible after you realize you made a mistake.\\nSince your mistake was unintentional, it’s understandable if you don’t realize there’s a problem right away. The important thing is acting swiftly once you have that realization.\\nIt’s also perfectly okay to take a little time to collect your thoughts. Don’t rush into an apology if you’re still feeling defensive or unsure what to say; it’s better to give yourself a little time to prepare.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Say you’re sorry to someone in person whenever possible.\", \"描述\": \"There are a lot of different ways to apologize, but the most direct and meaningful way to do so is usually face-to-face with the person you hurt. However, depending on personal comfort or the type of relationship you have with this person, it might make sense to apologize another way—over text, by phone, or by email, for example.\\nUse your best judgment when determining the type of apology you want to give someone.\\nFor example, if they won’t meet up with you or you tend to get tongue-tied and want to make sure your apology is as good as it can be, it might make more sense to send a written apology.\\nDepending on your relationship with them, you might consider a gift or thoughtful gesture alongside your apology. You could bring them flowers, write them a card, or put together a homemade gift.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Following Up After the Apology\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give them time to process your apology and be patient.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you give a heartfelt apology, don’t expect the other person to let go of their hurt or anger and move on right away. They might need some time to process, and that’s okay. Take a step back and give them the time they need, be patient, and be available when they finally reach out to you.\\nIn your apology, you might even say (or write) something along the lines of “I understand if you can’t accept my apology now, but I want to try to make things right.”\\nThis shows them that you’re sensitive to their feelings and won’t force them to feel a certain way, making forgiveness more likely.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Commit to changing your behavior without repeating mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"After you apologize, the best way to show someone you meant your words is to back them up with actions. Make a point to change your ways, especially if you promised to do so while offering to make things right in your apology. Take actionable steps to prove that you want to do better in the future and win back the other person’s trust.\\nFor example, if you apologized for accidentally “ghosting” someone for a few days, you could outline your plan to check your phone for messages at specific times and set alarms to get in the habit of replying to them regularly.\\nThen, once you decide how to fix your mistake, put those plans into practice. This proves to the other person that you’re more than just talk, and that you sincerely want to make things better.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be prepared to apologize more than once if necessary.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, one apology isn’t enough. That won’t always be the case, but depending on the severity of your mistake, the person you accidentally hurt might not be prepared to accept your first apology. Apologize a second time later if they’re willing to hear you out, but remember that your goal with each apology should be making amends—not getting forgiveness.\\nTry not to keep on apologizing over and over again, especially if they aren’t receptive to hearing you out.\\nApologizing two or three times might help, but continually saying “I’m sorry” beyond that might wear the other person down.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Do something nice for them to show that you regret your actions.\", \"描述\": \"Look for something you can do to make the other person’s life a little easier. You could tackle a chore or errand for them, make dinner for them, give them a ride somewhere, or do anything else you don’t normally do for them. Helping out can prove to them you’re sorry and that you’d like to make a difference in whatever way you can.\\nOffer your help directly instead of waiting to be asked. Be proactive to show them you're serious about your desire to help.\\nRemember: if they refuse your help, don’t force it on them. Just keep asking now and again, gently, until they’re willing to let you help.\"}]}]}}",
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1,787 | How to Apologize to Someone You Made Mad | 1. Preparing for the Conversation
1-1. Take some time to think about what you did.
Immediately after a fight or problem occurs, emotions tend to be the highest, but you cannot offer a truly sincere apology unless you have a full understanding of what you did that was wrong. This will prevent you from apologizing for something that you don’t mean and will also help you begin the process of self-improvement.
Be sure to take responsibility for your role in the argument. How you apologize will depend on how you may have wronged the person. For example, you may want to compensate your friend monetarily or by finding another way to correct your mistake along with apologizing for it.
Write a list of every reason your friend could possibly be upset.
Meditation can also be helpful. After an argument, your mind can be in a frenzy. Take a few moments to quiet your thoughts. Sit in your room in silence and close your eyes. Think about the problem that occurred and your role in it. This will provide you greater clarity on the issue.
1-2. Write out your thoughts.
Sometimes, merely thinking about the issue is not enough. Get out your journal and write out your feelings including, how you feel about your friend, yourself, and the fight. This can help you gather your thoughts in an organized and constructive way.
In addition to writing these lists, you could also consider writing a poem or a song to express your feelings.
1-3. Talk to someone you trust.
Sometimes, the greatest clarity can be provided by those who are outside of the situation. Parents and grandparents often have greater wisdom from all of their life experiences and have very likely encountered a similar situation. They will be able to give you insight on how to apologize and rectify the situation.
You might say something to them like “Me and my friend just got into a fight and I was wrong and want to apologize. Do you have any advice on how to fix it?”
They will also be able to provide you greater insight about yourself. Perhaps they have noticed that you have a tendency to be hotheaded, and your fight with your friend was rooted in this particular behavior of yours. Take the time to listen to those older and wiser than you to gain perspective about yourself so that you can improve.
1-4. Put yourself in their shoes.
In preparing for a truly genuine apology, consider the situation from your friend’s perspective. There is a tendency in arguments to be very “me” focused, but this is never helpful in restoring and improving your relationship. Instead, focus on how your friend might be feeling and respond to those feelings when you apologize.
For example, if you lost your friend’s favorite pair of shoes, they are likely not only just upset, but may also feel that they can’t trust you any longer with their things. When you apologize, you should acknowledge that your friend may not trust you anymore but that you intend to restore that trust and be dependable in the future.
1-5. Reflect on past arguments.
It is important that in considering this issue in your relationship that you don’t think of it as an isolated incident. Often times, indicators of problems exist before the problem ever actually occurs. Take some time to reflect on the events that built up to this situation and how it could have been prevented. This can also be helpful when you apologize as you will need to not only apologize for this last incident but for your role in what led up to it as well, especially if you have done something similar to them in the past.
For instance, if your friend is mad at you for telling one of their secrets, think back on if you have ever gossiped about others before. Telling other people’s business is a gateway to doing that to someone that you love.
1-6. Set aside time.
Now that you have thought fully about the issue and what you did wrong, it’s time to reach out to your friend to talk. These conversations are best to be had in person, but you may find that your friend is not ready for this talk yet, which is understandable. Ask them a time that is good for them and also offer to talk on the phone as an option.
Call them or send them a text and say “I want you to know that I regret what I’ve done and I’m so sorry. I’ve thought a lot about what I’ve done and I would really like if we could meet up to talk.”
2. Offering a Genuine Apology
2-1. Say what you’re sorry for.
After all of the self-reflection that you’ve done, you should be prepared to articulate exactly what you have done wrong. Tell your friend what you wish you hadn’t done and be very specific with them.
Vague apologies often feel insincere and poorly thought out. Your friend will appreciate much more if you offer a very specific acknowledgment of what you did wrong.
You might say something like “I am sorry for calling you that name. It was rude of me to do and I did not mean it.”
2-2. Admit responsibility.
Even in an apology, there is still the human deserve to self-preserve. Instead of being defensive, admit all of the ways that you were wrong without backtracking. This will help the apology go more smoothly. Be as honest as possible.
Many fall victim to playing “tit for tat” with their friend, by saying things like “Well, if you hadn’t done this then I wouldn’t have done that.” This will reverse any apology that you have offered and will immediately make your friend upset all over again.
2-3. Give up the need to be right.
Even if you feel that you have some justification for what you did, this does not negate the fact that you hurt someone close to you. At a later point, your friend may ask you why you did what you did, and at that time, you can offer them your rationale. However, in the moment of an apology, justifying why you did something bad is only hurtful and will likely prolong the fight.
Do not try to explain yourself. Keep it simple and move on.
Don’t offer excuses. Making excuses for hurting someone is never helpful during an apology and is only a mechanism for blame-shifting. Accept the blame for what you have done and keep it moving.
2-4. Avoid common apology mistakes.
In addition to making excuses and being defensive, there are other mistakes that you can make in apologizing. Some of these include saying things like “I’m sorry you felt that way”, “I’m sorry you’re so easily upset” and “I never mean to hurt you”. These false forms of apologizing give partial responsibility to the injured party for what happened and can feel very insincere in the moment. Avoid making these statements at all cost and instead apologize directly for what YOU have done.
An example of an appropriate apology is “I’m sorry for leaving you at the party without asking you if you wanted to go. We went there together and I should have talked to you before leaving alone. I apologize for that.”
2-5. Listen to understand further.
Though you have reflected on the issued on and yourself, you still may not be fully aware of their issue with you. Take some time during this conversation to truly listen to the ways in which you have hurt them. This last incident could just have been the last straw for them, but there could have been other times that you were rude to them that you haven’t considered.
Ask if there is any way you can make it up to them in the future, or if there is anything you can do to prevent something similar from happening again.
Apologize for the ways you have hurt them apart from this latest issue. Think critically about what they are saying to you so that you don’t apologize just to end the conversation. Make sure that any “I’m sorry” you offer is genuine.
2-6. Monitor your gestures and facial expressions.
When having this conversation in person, be sure to practice open and positive body language. Simple techniques like leaving your arms and legs uncrossed are great ways to express openness and to demonstrate body language that is relaxed and calm.
Also, look at them in the eyes when they are speaking, but break your gaze every so often to look around. No one likes to be stared at but people also want to feel that you are paying attention to them.
2-7. Offer your friendship.
Once you feel that the conversation between the two of you has reached a level of mutual understanding and positivity, re-offer your friendship to them. This can be a great way to move forward from the conversation and remind them that you do still want to be friends.
You might say something like “Again, I just wanted to reiterate that I am so sorry for hurting you and that it won’t happen again. However, I don’t want this situation to define us. Would you consider being my friend again?
Though they are likely to accept, be understanding if they don’t. They are within their rights to refuse friendship with you especially if you have done something very bad to them.
2-8. Write a letter if necessary.
You may find that your friend does not want to speak to you in person or on the phone, and you must respect their decision. However, this does not mean that you should avoid apologizing. Take some time to write them a heartfelt letter acknowledging what you have done, apologizing for it, and offering solutions to repair your friendship. You can either mail them the letter or leave it in their locker if you are classmates.
2-9. Make amends financially if necessary.
If you broke something of theirs or took something from them and lost it, you should do all that you can to purchase a new one for them. Some things cannot be replaced like family heirlooms, but if it can, you should do all in your power to replace it.
If necessary, ask your parents to borrow money so that you can buy for them what you broke or lost.
You can also get a part-time or temporary job to earn enough money to buy it yourself. Your friend will respect you all the more for it and you will be able to set right the wrong that you made.
2-10. Give them space.
Even if the conversation went well, you may find that your friend still needs some time to think, and perhaps you do as well. Respect your friend enough to give them the time that they need to process and they will likely come back around to you soon.
Avoid being clingy or smothering them. They will return to you in their own time and your friendship will be the better for it.
3. Moving Forward in Your Relationship
3-1. Avoid future issues.
Take the issues your friend discussed with you in your conversation to heart to prevent having fights in the future and to reestablish the trust between the two of you. Be careful to not repeat old mistakes again, but to learn from them instead and move forward.
For example, if you know they get upset when you take their things without asking, then be very sure to not do that in the future.
Also, if there are any things you need to work on to improve yourself, begin that process. For instance, if you are very forgetful and regularly forget plans with your friend, then invest in a planner or use your phone to set reminders for you. Being proactive will help to rebuild your friend’s trust in you by showing them that you are taking concrete steps to avoid a similar situation.
3-2. Keep your promises.
During your apology, you very likely made certain promises to your friend that you would either avoid rude behavior or begin doing things differently in the future. In renewing your friendship with this person, it is important that you keep and continue to keep these promises that you made not only to avoid an argument but to preserve your friendship for the long haul.
3-3. Reflect on good memories.
Take some time with your friend to reflect on the great memories that you have shared with one another. This would be a great time to bring out your photo album or look at your mutual photos on social media. Sit and reminisce with your friend to remind each other of these times and the good times to come.
You can even try using a little humor to lighten up the situation and reconnect with the person after making an apology.
3-4. Do fun things you used to do.
In addition to reflecting, go out and recreate those fun memories! If you and your friend love to go to the beach, play sports, or go out to the movies, do all of those things again. This is a great way to remind each other of why you became friends in the first place and to move on from your fight.
3-5. Forgive yourself.
In focusing on getting your friend to forgive you, it can be easy to be consumed with guilt over your actions. However, if you know that you have done all in your power to make amends with this person, it is time to make amends with yourself, too. Beating yourself about something won’t improve the situation, but will likely make it worse. Forgive yourself!
Tips
Give them space.
Don't get mad if they say no.
Don’t yell or argue with them.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:09",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing for the Conversation\\n1-1. Take some time to think about what you did.\\nImmediately after a fight or problem occurs, emotions tend to be the highest, but you cannot offer a truly sincere apology unless you have a full understanding of what you did that was wrong. This will prevent you from apologizing for something that you don’t mean and will also help you begin the process of self-improvement.\\nBe sure to take responsibility for your role in the argument. How you apologize will depend on how you may have wronged the person. For example, you may want to compensate your friend monetarily or by finding another way to correct your mistake along with apologizing for it.\\nWrite a list of every reason your friend could possibly be upset.\\nMeditation can also be helpful. After an argument, your mind can be in a frenzy. Take a few moments to quiet your thoughts. Sit in your room in silence and close your eyes. Think about the problem that occurred and your role in it. This will provide you greater clarity on the issue.\\n1-2. Write out your thoughts.\\nSometimes, merely thinking about the issue is not enough. Get out your journal and write out your feelings including, how you feel about your friend, yourself, and the fight. This can help you gather your thoughts in an organized and constructive way.\\nIn addition to writing these lists, you could also consider writing a poem or a song to express your feelings.\\n1-3. Talk to someone you trust.\\nSometimes, the greatest clarity can be provided by those who are outside of the situation. Parents and grandparents often have greater wisdom from all of their life experiences and have very likely encountered a similar situation. They will be able to give you insight on how to apologize and rectify the situation.\\nYou might say something to them like “Me and my friend just got into a fight and I was wrong and want to apologize. Do you have any advice on how to fix it?”\\nThey will also be able to provide you greater insight about yourself. Perhaps they have noticed that you have a tendency to be hotheaded, and your fight with your friend was rooted in this particular behavior of yours. Take the time to listen to those older and wiser than you to gain perspective about yourself so that you can improve.\\n1-4. Put yourself in their shoes.\\nIn preparing for a truly genuine apology, consider the situation from your friend’s perspective. There is a tendency in arguments to be very “me” focused, but this is never helpful in restoring and improving your relationship. Instead, focus on how your friend might be feeling and respond to those feelings when you apologize.\\nFor example, if you lost your friend’s favorite pair of shoes, they are likely not only just upset, but may also feel that they can’t trust you any longer with their things. When you apologize, you should acknowledge that your friend may not trust you anymore but that you intend to restore that trust and be dependable in the future.\\n1-5. Reflect on past arguments.\\nIt is important that in considering this issue in your relationship that you don’t think of it as an isolated incident. Often times, indicators of problems exist before the problem ever actually occurs. Take some time to reflect on the events that built up to this situation and how it could have been prevented. This can also be helpful when you apologize as you will need to not only apologize for this last incident but for your role in what led up to it as well, especially if you have done something similar to them in the past.\\nFor instance, if your friend is mad at you for telling one of their secrets, think back on if you have ever gossiped about others before. Telling other people’s business is a gateway to doing that to someone that you love.\\n1-6. Set aside time.\\nNow that you have thought fully about the issue and what you did wrong, it’s time to reach out to your friend to talk. These conversations are best to be had in person, but you may find that your friend is not ready for this talk yet, which is understandable. Ask them a time that is good for them and also offer to talk on the phone as an option.\\nCall them or send them a text and say “I want you to know that I regret what I’ve done and I’m so sorry. I’ve thought a lot about what I’ve done and I would really like if we could meet up to talk.”\\n2. Offering a Genuine Apology\\n2-1. Say what you’re sorry for.\\nAfter all of the self-reflection that you’ve done, you should be prepared to articulate exactly what you have done wrong. Tell your friend what you wish you hadn’t done and be very specific with them. \\nVague apologies often feel insincere and poorly thought out. Your friend will appreciate much more if you offer a very specific acknowledgment of what you did wrong.\\nYou might say something like “I am sorry for calling you that name. It was rude of me to do and I did not mean it.”\\n2-2. Admit responsibility.\\nEven in an apology, there is still the human deserve to self-preserve. Instead of being defensive, admit all of the ways that you were wrong without backtracking. This will help the apology go more smoothly. Be as honest as possible.\\nMany fall victim to playing “tit for tat” with their friend, by saying things like “Well, if you hadn’t done this then I wouldn’t have done that.” This will reverse any apology that you have offered and will immediately make your friend upset all over again.\\n2-3. Give up the need to be right.\\nEven if you feel that you have some justification for what you did, this does not negate the fact that you hurt someone close to you. At a later point, your friend may ask you why you did what you did, and at that time, you can offer them your rationale. However, in the moment of an apology, justifying why you did something bad is only hurtful and will likely prolong the fight.\\nDo not try to explain yourself. Keep it simple and move on.\\nDon’t offer excuses. Making excuses for hurting someone is never helpful during an apology and is only a mechanism for blame-shifting. Accept the blame for what you have done and keep it moving.\\n2-4. Avoid common apology mistakes.\\nIn addition to making excuses and being defensive, there are other mistakes that you can make in apologizing. Some of these include saying things like “I’m sorry you felt that way”, “I’m sorry you’re so easily upset” and “I never mean to hurt you”. These false forms of apologizing give partial responsibility to the injured party for what happened and can feel very insincere in the moment. Avoid making these statements at all cost and instead apologize directly for what YOU have done.\\nAn example of an appropriate apology is “I’m sorry for leaving you at the party without asking you if you wanted to go. We went there together and I should have talked to you before leaving alone. I apologize for that.”\\n2-5. Listen to understand further.\\nThough you have reflected on the issued on and yourself, you still may not be fully aware of their issue with you. Take some time during this conversation to truly listen to the ways in which you have hurt them. This last incident could just have been the last straw for them, but there could have been other times that you were rude to them that you haven’t considered.\\nAsk if there is any way you can make it up to them in the future, or if there is anything you can do to prevent something similar from happening again.\\nApologize for the ways you have hurt them apart from this latest issue. Think critically about what they are saying to you so that you don’t apologize just to end the conversation. Make sure that any “I’m sorry” you offer is genuine.\\n2-6. Monitor your gestures and facial expressions.\\nWhen having this conversation in person, be sure to practice open and positive body language. Simple techniques like leaving your arms and legs uncrossed are great ways to express openness and to demonstrate body language that is relaxed and calm.\\nAlso, look at them in the eyes when they are speaking, but break your gaze every so often to look around. No one likes to be stared at but people also want to feel that you are paying attention to them.\\n2-7. Offer your friendship.\\nOnce you feel that the conversation between the two of you has reached a level of mutual understanding and positivity, re-offer your friendship to them. This can be a great way to move forward from the conversation and remind them that you do still want to be friends.\\nYou might say something like “Again, I just wanted to reiterate that I am so sorry for hurting you and that it won’t happen again. However, I don’t want this situation to define us. Would you consider being my friend again?\\nThough they are likely to accept, be understanding if they don’t. They are within their rights to refuse friendship with you especially if you have done something very bad to them.\\n2-8. Write a letter if necessary.\\nYou may find that your friend does not want to speak to you in person or on the phone, and you must respect their decision. However, this does not mean that you should avoid apologizing. Take some time to write them a heartfelt letter acknowledging what you have done, apologizing for it, and offering solutions to repair your friendship. You can either mail them the letter or leave it in their locker if you are classmates.\\n2-9. Make amends financially if necessary.\\nIf you broke something of theirs or took something from them and lost it, you should do all that you can to purchase a new one for them. Some things cannot be replaced like family heirlooms, but if it can, you should do all in your power to replace it.\\nIf necessary, ask your parents to borrow money so that you can buy for them what you broke or lost.\\nYou can also get a part-time or temporary job to earn enough money to buy it yourself. Your friend will respect you all the more for it and you will be able to set right the wrong that you made.\\n2-10. Give them space.\\nEven if the conversation went well, you may find that your friend still needs some time to think, and perhaps you do as well. Respect your friend enough to give them the time that they need to process and they will likely come back around to you soon.\\nAvoid being clingy or smothering them. They will return to you in their own time and your friendship will be the better for it.\\n3. Moving Forward in Your Relationship\\n3-1. Avoid future issues.\\nTake the issues your friend discussed with you in your conversation to heart to prevent having fights in the future and to reestablish the trust between the two of you. Be careful to not repeat old mistakes again, but to learn from them instead and move forward.\\nFor example, if you know they get upset when you take their things without asking, then be very sure to not do that in the future.\\nAlso, if there are any things you need to work on to improve yourself, begin that process. For instance, if you are very forgetful and regularly forget plans with your friend, then invest in a planner or use your phone to set reminders for you. Being proactive will help to rebuild your friend’s trust in you by showing them that you are taking concrete steps to avoid a similar situation.\\n3-2. Keep your promises.\\nDuring your apology, you very likely made certain promises to your friend that you would either avoid rude behavior or begin doing things differently in the future. In renewing your friendship with this person, it is important that you keep and continue to keep these promises that you made not only to avoid an argument but to preserve your friendship for the long haul.\\n3-3. Reflect on good memories.\\nTake some time with your friend to reflect on the great memories that you have shared with one another. This would be a great time to bring out your photo album or look at your mutual photos on social media. Sit and reminisce with your friend to remind each other of these times and the good times to come.\\nYou can even try using a little humor to lighten up the situation and reconnect with the person after making an apology.\\n3-4. Do fun things you used to do.\\nIn addition to reflecting, go out and recreate those fun memories! If you and your friend love to go to the beach, play sports, or go out to the movies, do all of those things again. This is a great way to remind each other of why you became friends in the first place and to move on from your fight.\\n3-5. Forgive yourself.\\nIn focusing on getting your friend to forgive you, it can be easy to be consumed with guilt over your actions. However, if you know that you have done all in your power to make amends with this person, it is time to make amends with yourself, too. Beating yourself about something won’t improve the situation, but will likely make it worse. Forgive yourself!\\nTips\\nGive them space.\\nDon't get mad if they say no.\\nDon’t yell or argue with them.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Throughout life, sometimes we hurt the people closest to us, including friends, relatives, or even coworkers and classmates. Apologizing after you have made a mistake can be difficult but it is necessary. You can offer a genuine apology by reflecting on what happened, accepting responsibility, and offering solutions to move forward in your relationship.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing for the Conversation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take some time to think about what you did.\", \"描述\": \"Immediately after a fight or problem occurs, emotions tend to be the highest, but you cannot offer a truly sincere apology unless you have a full understanding of what you did that was wrong. This will prevent you from apologizing for something that you don’t mean and will also help you begin the process of self-improvement.\\nBe sure to take responsibility for your role in the argument. How you apologize will depend on how you may have wronged the person. For example, you may want to compensate your friend monetarily or by finding another way to correct your mistake along with apologizing for it.\\nWrite a list of every reason your friend could possibly be upset.\\nMeditation can also be helpful. After an argument, your mind can be in a frenzy. Take a few moments to quiet your thoughts. Sit in your room in silence and close your eyes. Think about the problem that occurred and your role in it. This will provide you greater clarity on the issue.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Write out your thoughts.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, merely thinking about the issue is not enough. Get out your journal and write out your feelings including, how you feel about your friend, yourself, and the fight. This can help you gather your thoughts in an organized and constructive way.\\nIn addition to writing these lists, you could also consider writing a poem or a song to express your feelings.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk to someone you trust.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, the greatest clarity can be provided by those who are outside of the situation. Parents and grandparents often have greater wisdom from all of their life experiences and have very likely encountered a similar situation. They will be able to give you insight on how to apologize and rectify the situation.\\nYou might say something to them like “Me and my friend just got into a fight and I was wrong and want to apologize. Do you have any advice on how to fix it?”\\nThey will also be able to provide you greater insight about yourself. Perhaps they have noticed that you have a tendency to be hotheaded, and your fight with your friend was rooted in this particular behavior of yours. Take the time to listen to those older and wiser than you to gain perspective about yourself so that you can improve.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Put yourself in their shoes.\", \"描述\": \"In preparing for a truly genuine apology, consider the situation from your friend’s perspective. There is a tendency in arguments to be very “me” focused, but this is never helpful in restoring and improving your relationship. Instead, focus on how your friend might be feeling and respond to those feelings when you apologize.\\nFor example, if you lost your friend’s favorite pair of shoes, they are likely not only just upset, but may also feel that they can’t trust you any longer with their things. When you apologize, you should acknowledge that your friend may not trust you anymore but that you intend to restore that trust and be dependable in the future.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Reflect on past arguments.\", \"描述\": \"It is important that in considering this issue in your relationship that you don’t think of it as an isolated incident. Often times, indicators of problems exist before the problem ever actually occurs. Take some time to reflect on the events that built up to this situation and how it could have been prevented. This can also be helpful when you apologize as you will need to not only apologize for this last incident but for your role in what led up to it as well, especially if you have done something similar to them in the past.\\nFor instance, if your friend is mad at you for telling one of their secrets, think back on if you have ever gossiped about others before. Telling other people’s business is a gateway to doing that to someone that you love.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Set aside time.\", \"描述\": \"Now that you have thought fully about the issue and what you did wrong, it’s time to reach out to your friend to talk. These conversations are best to be had in person, but you may find that your friend is not ready for this talk yet, which is understandable. Ask them a time that is good for them and also offer to talk on the phone as an option.\\nCall them or send them a text and say “I want you to know that I regret what I’ve done and I’m so sorry. I’ve thought a lot about what I’ve done and I would really like if we could meet up to talk.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Offering a Genuine Apology\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Say what you’re sorry for.\", \"描述\": \"After all of the self-reflection that you’ve done, you should be prepared to articulate exactly what you have done wrong. Tell your friend what you wish you hadn’t done and be very specific with them. \\nVague apologies often feel insincere and poorly thought out. Your friend will appreciate much more if you offer a very specific acknowledgment of what you did wrong.\\nYou might say something like “I am sorry for calling you that name. It was rude of me to do and I did not mean it.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Admit responsibility.\", \"描述\": \"Even in an apology, there is still the human deserve to self-preserve. Instead of being defensive, admit all of the ways that you were wrong without backtracking. This will help the apology go more smoothly. Be as honest as possible.\\nMany fall victim to playing “tit for tat” with their friend, by saying things like “Well, if you hadn’t done this then I wouldn’t have done that.” This will reverse any apology that you have offered and will immediately make your friend upset all over again.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give up the need to be right.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you feel that you have some justification for what you did, this does not negate the fact that you hurt someone close to you. At a later point, your friend may ask you why you did what you did, and at that time, you can offer them your rationale. However, in the moment of an apology, justifying why you did something bad is only hurtful and will likely prolong the fight.\\nDo not try to explain yourself. Keep it simple and move on.\\nDon’t offer excuses. Making excuses for hurting someone is never helpful during an apology and is only a mechanism for blame-shifting. Accept the blame for what you have done and keep it moving.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid common apology mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"In addition to making excuses and being defensive, there are other mistakes that you can make in apologizing. Some of these include saying things like “I’m sorry you felt that way”, “I’m sorry you’re so easily upset” and “I never mean to hurt you”. These false forms of apologizing give partial responsibility to the injured party for what happened and can feel very insincere in the moment. Avoid making these statements at all cost and instead apologize directly for what YOU have done.\\nAn example of an appropriate apology is “I’m sorry for leaving you at the party without asking you if you wanted to go. We went there together and I should have talked to you before leaving alone. I apologize for that.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Listen to understand further.\", \"描述\": \"Though you have reflected on the issued on and yourself, you still may not be fully aware of their issue with you. Take some time during this conversation to truly listen to the ways in which you have hurt them. This last incident could just have been the last straw for them, but there could have been other times that you were rude to them that you haven’t considered.\\nAsk if there is any way you can make it up to them in the future, or if there is anything you can do to prevent something similar from happening again.\\nApologize for the ways you have hurt them apart from this latest issue. Think critically about what they are saying to you so that you don’t apologize just to end the conversation. Make sure that any “I’m sorry” you offer is genuine.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Monitor your gestures and facial expressions.\", \"描述\": \"When having this conversation in person, be sure to practice open and positive body language. Simple techniques like leaving your arms and legs uncrossed are great ways to express openness and to demonstrate body language that is relaxed and calm.\\nAlso, look at them in the eyes when they are speaking, but break your gaze every so often to look around. No one likes to be stared at but people also want to feel that you are paying attention to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Offer your friendship.\", \"描述\": \"Once you feel that the conversation between the two of you has reached a level of mutual understanding and positivity, re-offer your friendship to them. This can be a great way to move forward from the conversation and remind them that you do still want to be friends.\\nYou might say something like “Again, I just wanted to reiterate that I am so sorry for hurting you and that it won’t happen again. However, I don’t want this situation to define us. Would you consider being my friend again?\\nThough they are likely to accept, be understanding if they don’t. They are within their rights to refuse friendship with you especially if you have done something very bad to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Write a letter if necessary.\", \"描述\": \"You may find that your friend does not want to speak to you in person or on the phone, and you must respect their decision. However, this does not mean that you should avoid apologizing. Take some time to write them a heartfelt letter acknowledging what you have done, apologizing for it, and offering solutions to repair your friendship. You can either mail them the letter or leave it in their locker if you are classmates.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Make amends financially if necessary.\", \"描述\": \"If you broke something of theirs or took something from them and lost it, you should do all that you can to purchase a new one for them. Some things cannot be replaced like family heirlooms, but if it can, you should do all in your power to replace it.\\nIf necessary, ask your parents to borrow money so that you can buy for them what you broke or lost.\\nYou can also get a part-time or temporary job to earn enough money to buy it yourself. Your friend will respect you all the more for it and you will be able to set right the wrong that you made.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Give them space.\", \"描述\": \"Even if the conversation went well, you may find that your friend still needs some time to think, and perhaps you do as well. Respect your friend enough to give them the time that they need to process and they will likely come back around to you soon.\\nAvoid being clingy or smothering them. They will return to you in their own time and your friendship will be the better for it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Moving Forward in Your Relationship\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid future issues.\", \"描述\": \"Take the issues your friend discussed with you in your conversation to heart to prevent having fights in the future and to reestablish the trust between the two of you. Be careful to not repeat old mistakes again, but to learn from them instead and move forward.\\nFor example, if you know they get upset when you take their things without asking, then be very sure to not do that in the future.\\nAlso, if there are any things you need to work on to improve yourself, begin that process. For instance, if you are very forgetful and regularly forget plans with your friend, then invest in a planner or use your phone to set reminders for you. Being proactive will help to rebuild your friend’s trust in you by showing them that you are taking concrete steps to avoid a similar situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep your promises.\", \"描述\": \"During your apology, you very likely made certain promises to your friend that you would either avoid rude behavior or begin doing things differently in the future. In renewing your friendship with this person, it is important that you keep and continue to keep these promises that you made not only to avoid an argument but to preserve your friendship for the long haul.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Reflect on good memories.\", \"描述\": \"Take some time with your friend to reflect on the great memories that you have shared with one another. This would be a great time to bring out your photo album or look at your mutual photos on social media. Sit and reminisce with your friend to remind each other of these times and the good times to come.\\nYou can even try using a little humor to lighten up the situation and reconnect with the person after making an apology.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Do fun things you used to do.\", \"描述\": \"In addition to reflecting, go out and recreate those fun memories! If you and your friend love to go to the beach, play sports, or go out to the movies, do all of those things again. This is a great way to remind each other of why you became friends in the first place and to move on from your fight.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Forgive yourself.\", \"描述\": \"In focusing on getting your friend to forgive you, it can be easy to be consumed with guilt over your actions. However, if you know that you have done all in your power to make amends with this person, it is time to make amends with yourself, too. Beating yourself about something won’t improve the situation, but will likely make it worse. Forgive yourself!\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Give them space.\\n\", \"Don't get mad if they say no.\\n\", \"Don’t yell or argue with them.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,788 | How to Apologize to Your Best Friend | 1. Preparing to Apologize
1-1. Take responsibility for your actions.
Before you can make an effective and sincere apology, you must forgive your BFF for his/her role in the fight. Once you set aside your hurt feelings, you can stop justifying your own negative actions.
Recognize that you made a mistake, acknowledge that your actions were harmful, and take responsibility for your words and deeds.
1-2. Gather your thoughts.
Fighting with your best friend is stressful—you are likely experiencing a range of emotions, from anger to remorse. Writing your thoughts down on paper can help you process your emotions. Once you have completed your list, read through your notes. Highlight the positive comments that you should share with your friends and strikethrough invidious statements.
1-3. Write and practice your apology.
Finding the rights words to apologize with is extremely challenging. Instead of winging it, use your notes to craft your apology—you can write out a complete statement or jot down a few bullet points. Practice reciting your apology a few times to you feel confident and comfortable with the material.
Revise any parts that sound spiteful or awkward. Once you've made the revision, read through your apology again.
You may have to write, read, edit, and re-read the apology several times before you get it right.
If there's someone else who is aware of the situation, consider asking them for advice, but also take it with a grain of salt. Not all advice will be good.
1-4. Ask your BFF (best friend forever) to meet with you.
When possible, it is always best to apologize to someone in person. When you are face to face, you and your BFF have the benefit of seeing each other’s facial expressions and body language, which will decrease the risk of misinterpretation. Contact your BFF, express that you want to apologize, and set up a time for the two of you to meet in private.
Don’t wait too long to contact your friend.
If they aren’t willing to meet, ask again in a few days. Send an email or hand-written letter if they continue to reject your invitation.
If they can't meet in person, but still want to talk face-to-face, consider a video chat.
2. Apologizing to Your BFF
2-1. Express remorse for your actions.
Sincere apologies are rooted in empathy. When you apologize to your best friend, there should be truth behind every claim you make. If your expression of regret is hollow, your friend may not accept it. Tell your BFF that you are deeply sorry for hurting and or inconveniencing them.
”I am so sorry I hurt you.”
I feel horrible that I took advantage of your kindness.”
2-2. Accept responsibility for your actions.
Communicate to your BFF that you accept full responsibility for your actions. Do not place the blame on anyone else, especially your BFF. Do not make any excuses for your behavior.
”I recognize that I treated you poorly.”
”I realize that I instigated our argument.”
”I know that this is my fault.”
2-3. Make restitution for your actions.
State that you intend to make up for your actions. Your statement of restitution will depend entirely on the nature of your behavior. You may promise your BFF that you will never repeat the behavior or that you will work towards reforming yourself.
”I will never _____ again.”
”I will start going to therapy.”
2-4. Ask for forgiveness.
After delivering your sincere apology, humbly ask your BFF for forgiveness. Let your best friend know that you value your relationship with him/her. Express that you will do your best not to hurt your friend in the future.
You may find it helpful to reiterate the key points of your apology.
”Please forgive me.”
”I hope you can forgive what I’ve done.”
”Can we move forward, please?”
”Is there any chance we can get beyond this?”
3. Moving Forward
3-1. Listen to your BFF’s response.
Following your apology, give your BFF the opportunity to respond. Let them express their anger and frustrations, and their pain and discomforts. Do not interrupt them with defensive comments; do not force them to share the blame with you.
Maintain eye contact with your BFF.
Lean forward to signal that you are engaged in the conversation.
Mirror their body language to show that you sympathize with them.
3-2. Let it go.
After saying your peace and actively listening to your best friend’s response, stop dwelling on the conflict. In order for your BFF to forgive you, you must recognize that you have done all you can to remedy the situation. If you have truly accepted responsibility for your actions, you will not bring up the conflict again.
3-3. Give your BFF time to forgive you.
While you have apologized for your actions, your BFF may not be ready to put the conflict behind them. Remain patient with your BFF. Do not pressure them into forgiving you.
If they ask for space, wait for them to contact you. Be patient; this can take a week, a month, or even longer.
If you press your friend to talk before they are ready, they may get stressed or frustrated and block you. This will make it harder to reconnect with them.
In general, the more severe the fight was, the longer the forgiveness will take. Breaking their toy probably won't take as long as making with their boyfriend or girlfriend.
Tips
Don’t blame or judge your BFF.
Be honest an speak from the heart.
Go in for a hug after you apologized.
Warnings
Give them time to forgive you.
Avoid miscommunication.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:09",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing to Apologize\\n1-1. Take responsibility for your actions.\\nBefore you can make an effective and sincere apology, you must forgive your BFF for his/her role in the fight. Once you set aside your hurt feelings, you can stop justifying your own negative actions.\\nRecognize that you made a mistake, acknowledge that your actions were harmful, and take responsibility for your words and deeds.\\n1-2. Gather your thoughts.\\nFighting with your best friend is stressful—you are likely experiencing a range of emotions, from anger to remorse. Writing your thoughts down on paper can help you process your emotions. Once you have completed your list, read through your notes. Highlight the positive comments that you should share with your friends and strikethrough invidious statements.\\n1-3. Write and practice your apology.\\nFinding the rights words to apologize with is extremely challenging. Instead of winging it, use your notes to craft your apology—you can write out a complete statement or jot down a few bullet points. Practice reciting your apology a few times to you feel confident and comfortable with the material.\\nRevise any parts that sound spiteful or awkward. Once you've made the revision, read through your apology again.\\nYou may have to write, read, edit, and re-read the apology several times before you get it right.\\nIf there's someone else who is aware of the situation, consider asking them for advice, but also take it with a grain of salt. Not all advice will be good.\\n1-4. Ask your BFF (best friend forever) to meet with you.\\nWhen possible, it is always best to apologize to someone in person. When you are face to face, you and your BFF have the benefit of seeing each other’s facial expressions and body language, which will decrease the risk of misinterpretation. Contact your BFF, express that you want to apologize, and set up a time for the two of you to meet in private.\\nDon’t wait too long to contact your friend.\\nIf they aren’t willing to meet, ask again in a few days. Send an email or hand-written letter if they continue to reject your invitation.\\nIf they can't meet in person, but still want to talk face-to-face, consider a video chat.\\n2. Apologizing to Your BFF\\n2-1. Express remorse for your actions.\\nSincere apologies are rooted in empathy. When you apologize to your best friend, there should be truth behind every claim you make. If your expression of regret is hollow, your friend may not accept it. Tell your BFF that you are deeply sorry for hurting and or inconveniencing them.\\n”I am so sorry I hurt you.”\\nI feel horrible that I took advantage of your kindness.”\\n2-2. Accept responsibility for your actions.\\nCommunicate to your BFF that you accept full responsibility for your actions. Do not place the blame on anyone else, especially your BFF. Do not make any excuses for your behavior.\\n”I recognize that I treated you poorly.”\\n”I realize that I instigated our argument.”\\n”I know that this is my fault.”\\n2-3. Make restitution for your actions.\\nState that you intend to make up for your actions. Your statement of restitution will depend entirely on the nature of your behavior. You may promise your BFF that you will never repeat the behavior or that you will work towards reforming yourself.\\n”I will never _____ again.”\\n”I will start going to therapy.”\\n2-4. Ask for forgiveness.\\nAfter delivering your sincere apology, humbly ask your BFF for forgiveness. Let your best friend know that you value your relationship with him/her. Express that you will do your best not to hurt your friend in the future.\\nYou may find it helpful to reiterate the key points of your apology.\\n”Please forgive me.”\\n”I hope you can forgive what I’ve done.”\\n”Can we move forward, please?”\\n”Is there any chance we can get beyond this?”\\n3. Moving Forward\\n3-1. Listen to your BFF’s response.\\nFollowing your apology, give your BFF the opportunity to respond. Let them express their anger and frustrations, and their pain and discomforts. Do not interrupt them with defensive comments; do not force them to share the blame with you.\\nMaintain eye contact with your BFF.\\nLean forward to signal that you are engaged in the conversation.\\nMirror their body language to show that you sympathize with them.\\n3-2. Let it go.\\nAfter saying your peace and actively listening to your best friend’s response, stop dwelling on the conflict. In order for your BFF to forgive you, you must recognize that you have done all you can to remedy the situation. If you have truly accepted responsibility for your actions, you will not bring up the conflict again.\\n3-3. Give your BFF time to forgive you.\\nWhile you have apologized for your actions, your BFF may not be ready to put the conflict behind them. Remain patient with your BFF. Do not pressure them into forgiving you.\\nIf they ask for space, wait for them to contact you. Be patient; this can take a week, a month, or even longer.\\nIf you press your friend to talk before they are ready, they may get stressed or frustrated and block you. This will make it harder to reconnect with them.\\nIn general, the more severe the fight was, the longer the forgiveness will take. Breaking their toy probably won't take as long as making with their boyfriend or girlfriend.\\nTips\\nDon’t blame or judge your BFF.\\nBe honest an speak from the heart.\\nGo in for a hug after you apologized.\\nWarnings\\nGive them time to forgive you.\\nAvoid miscommunication.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Apologizing is hard—no one likes to admit that they were wrong; apologizing to people you deeply care about, like your BFF, is even harder. Accepting responsibility for your hurtful actions takes courage. Face your fears and express sincere remorse for your poor behavior.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing to Apologize\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take responsibility for your actions.\", \"描述\": \"Before you can make an effective and sincere apology, you must forgive your BFF for his/her role in the fight. Once you set aside your hurt feelings, you can stop justifying your own negative actions.\\nRecognize that you made a mistake, acknowledge that your actions were harmful, and take responsibility for your words and deeds.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Gather your thoughts.\", \"描述\": \"Fighting with your best friend is stressful—you are likely experiencing a range of emotions, from anger to remorse. Writing your thoughts down on paper can help you process your emotions. Once you have completed your list, read through your notes. Highlight the positive comments that you should share with your friends and strikethrough invidious statements.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Write and practice your apology.\", \"描述\": \"Finding the rights words to apologize with is extremely challenging. Instead of winging it, use your notes to craft your apology—you can write out a complete statement or jot down a few bullet points. Practice reciting your apology a few times to you feel confident and comfortable with the material.\\nRevise any parts that sound spiteful or awkward. Once you've made the revision, read through your apology again.\\nYou may have to write, read, edit, and re-read the apology several times before you get it right.\\nIf there's someone else who is aware of the situation, consider asking them for advice, but also take it with a grain of salt. Not all advice will be good.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask your BFF (best friend forever) to meet with you.\", \"描述\": \"When possible, it is always best to apologize to someone in person. When you are face to face, you and your BFF have the benefit of seeing each other’s facial expressions and body language, which will decrease the risk of misinterpretation. Contact your BFF, express that you want to apologize, and set up a time for the two of you to meet in private.\\nDon’t wait too long to contact your friend.\\nIf they aren’t willing to meet, ask again in a few days. Send an email or hand-written letter if they continue to reject your invitation.\\nIf they can't meet in person, but still want to talk face-to-face, consider a video chat.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Apologizing to Your BFF\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Express remorse for your actions.\", \"描述\": \"Sincere apologies are rooted in empathy. When you apologize to your best friend, there should be truth behind every claim you make. If your expression of regret is hollow, your friend may not accept it. Tell your BFF that you are deeply sorry for hurting and or inconveniencing them.\\n”I am so sorry I hurt you.”\\nI feel horrible that I took advantage of your kindness.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Accept responsibility for your actions.\", \"描述\": \"Communicate to your BFF that you accept full responsibility for your actions. Do not place the blame on anyone else, especially your BFF. Do not make any excuses for your behavior.\\n”I recognize that I treated you poorly.”\\n”I realize that I instigated our argument.”\\n”I know that this is my fault.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make restitution for your actions.\", \"描述\": \"State that you intend to make up for your actions. Your statement of restitution will depend entirely on the nature of your behavior. You may promise your BFF that you will never repeat the behavior or that you will work towards reforming yourself.\\n”I will never _____ again.”\\n”I will start going to therapy.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask for forgiveness.\", \"描述\": \"After delivering your sincere apology, humbly ask your BFF for forgiveness. Let your best friend know that you value your relationship with him/her. Express that you will do your best not to hurt your friend in the future.\\nYou may find it helpful to reiterate the key points of your apology.\\n”Please forgive me.”\\n”I hope you can forgive what I’ve done.”\\n”Can we move forward, please?”\\n”Is there any chance we can get beyond this?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Moving Forward\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listen to your BFF’s response.\", \"描述\": \"Following your apology, give your BFF the opportunity to respond. Let them express their anger and frustrations, and their pain and discomforts. Do not interrupt them with defensive comments; do not force them to share the blame with you.\\nMaintain eye contact with your BFF.\\nLean forward to signal that you are engaged in the conversation.\\nMirror their body language to show that you sympathize with them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Let it go.\", \"描述\": \"After saying your peace and actively listening to your best friend’s response, stop dwelling on the conflict. In order for your BFF to forgive you, you must recognize that you have done all you can to remedy the situation. If you have truly accepted responsibility for your actions, you will not bring up the conflict again.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give your BFF time to forgive you.\", \"描述\": \"While you have apologized for your actions, your BFF may not be ready to put the conflict behind them. Remain patient with your BFF. Do not pressure them into forgiving you.\\nIf they ask for space, wait for them to contact you. Be patient; this can take a week, a month, or even longer.\\nIf you press your friend to talk before they are ready, they may get stressed or frustrated and block you. This will make it harder to reconnect with them.\\nIn general, the more severe the fight was, the longer the forgiveness will take. Breaking their toy probably won't take as long as making with their boyfriend or girlfriend.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don’t blame or judge your BFF.\\n\", \"Be honest an speak from the heart.\\n\", \"Go in for a hug after you apologized.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Give them time to forgive you.\\n\", \"Avoid miscommunication.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,789 | How to Apologize to Your Boyfriend for Being Jealous | 1. Be clear about what you’re apologizing for.
Being specific will show your boyfriend that you understand where he’s coming from.
When you’re apologizing, tell your boyfriend what specific things you think you did wrong, and why. A non-specific apology, like “I’m sorry for whatever I did that made you mad” doesn’t show you understand why your boyfriend is mad. Instead, try something like:
“I’m sorry that I got angry with you at dinner last night. It wasn’t the time or the place to talk about these things.”
“I’m sorry that I went through your phone without your permission. That was an invasion of your space.”
“I’m sorry that I didn’t let you see your friends last week. I know they’re important to you, and I’m happy you have them.”
2. Explain, don’t justify.
Justifying yourself can make an apology feel insincere.
Saying something like, “I’m sorry I got mad. You’re just so insensitive and irresponsible that I can’t stop myself,” is a justification that blames your boyfriend. Even if it feels good to say, it won’t help you repair the relationship. Instead, a better apology, one that explains your actions, might look something like:
“I’m sorry I called you that. I was angry, and lashing out, but you don’t deserve to be called names.”
“I’m sorry I threw away your old photos. I just love you a lot, and it’s hard for me to think about you with another person. But what I did wasn’t right.”
“I’m sorry I read your texts. I have a hard time trusting people, because of my last relationship, but I need to work on getting better about this.”
3. Have a plan to do better in the future.
Telling your boyfriend why this won’t happen again gives him a reason to forgive you.
One of the main reasons why your apology might fall on deaf ears is if your boyfriend thinks this situation will repeat itself. You’ll have to show him that that isn’t the case, and that you’re going to take steps to improve your relationship. You might say something like:
“I don’t want this issue to get in between us again. That’s why whenever I get these feelings again, I promise to talk to you about them, and not to go behind your back.”
“I know this isn’t the first time we’ve had this conversation. Maybe we could come up with a safeword, so that if things get out of hand, and I get angry and go too far, you can let me know that it’s time to cool down?”
“It’s not your responsibility to deal with the lack of trust I still struggle with from when I was with my ex. I’m going to make an appointment with a therapist next week, and am hopeful that I can find ways to not repeat this situation when I’m there.”
4. Tell your boyfriend what you need from him.
An apology can also be the time to express your needs.
If you need something from your boyfriend in order to move forward, let him know in a constructive way. Be sure not to shift blame onto him. Instead of saying something like “You don’t seem excited to see me anymore,” try saying “I want to feel wanted by you.” If you have had previous relationships that have left you feeling betrayed and neglected, then you might need more reassurance to feel secure in your current relationship. It is actually important for those needs to be expressed clearly and for your boyfriend to really hear you and reassure you with his emotional presence and comfort. Try something like this:
“I know you have a lot of friends, but would you be OK with checking-in on me once in a while during parties?”
“We both have a lot going on, but could you try and talk to me just for a little every night, before we go to bed?”
“If it’s OK with you, maybe we could have a no phones policy when we have dinner together. It would help me feel like I’m important to you.”
5. Ask your boyfriend what he needs from you.
Understanding each other’s needs is the key to a healthy relationship.
Since you hit this bump in your relationship, now is a good time to ask your boyfriend what things you can do to make the relationship work better. You can show him that you’re committed to working out your issues and to his happiness by asking something like:
“Are there things I can do to make you feel more satisfied in our relationship?”
“I know this relationship can work, and I want to know if there’s something you need from me for that to happen.”
“I want this to be an open conversation, so big-picture: is there something that you need from me? I want you to know you can rely on me.”
6. Keep your apology short.
Be kind to yourself by not excessively apologizing.
Apologize enough to express your regret, but not more than that. Remember that you are allowed to make a mistake. If you find yourself constantly repeating the same things, or tearing yourself down while apologizing, it’s best to move on to something more constructive. You can say something like:
“I hope I’ve made it clear to you how much I regret what I said the other night.”
“I’ve tried my best to show you how terribly sorry I am for what I did. Now the ball is in your court.”
“If it isn’t clear to you how incredibly sorry I am about this, please tell me. But if you can see this, maybe we can talk about how we can move on from here.”
7. Write a letter.
If you can get across how you feel better in writing, do it.
A hand-written letter is especially sincere, but even an e-mail or a long text message lets you pick your words carefully. An effective apology letter might have a structure like this:
: “I’m writing this letter to you because I want to apologize for what I said last weekend at dinner. Nobody deserves being called the things I called you, but especially not you, after all the things we’ve been through and all the support you’ve given me.”
: “I think that during my last relationship, I always felt insecure and like I wasn’t good enough, and so I’d end up being left behind sooner or later. I lashed out at you because I was scared, but you didn’t deserve that, and it hurts me to know that I’ve hurt you.”
: “It’s not your responsibility to deal with my insecurities, it’s mine. I’m going to go talk to a therapist next week to discuss some of my feelings, and I’m doing it because you’re so important to me, and I want for this relationship to work.”
: “I know we had a rough night, but I also know that things can get better. Something that I think I need is to be in closer communication with you. Would it be OK if we spent some time every night talking? It doesn’t matter about what. I want you to know that you can tell me if you ever need anything from me.”
: “I’m trying to tell you how sorry I am for what I did, and I hope that comes across. If you can, please forgive me.”
8. Do your boyfriend a favor.
If words aren’t your thing, try apologizing through actions.
Doing something nice for your boyfriend isn’t going to allow you to get to the roots of your relationship’s jealousy issues, but it shows you care. You might try doing something like:
Stock his fridge with his favorite foods
Pick up a meaningful gift for him from the store
If he’s into sports or music, get him a ticket to a game or concert
9. Take him out to dinner.
Getting out of the house helps clear the air.
In a public place, you’re both less likely to let your emotions get out of control. By picking up the bill for dinner, you can show your boyfriend that you care for him, while also giving yourself a chance to talk through your apology together. You can invite him out by saying something like:
“I know things have been a little weird between us recently, but can I take you out to dinner at that new restaurant this weekend? I want to talk to you.”
“Let’s go to your favorite restaurant tonight. It’s on me, I feel like I owe you something.”
“Can we talk for a bit? Maybe we could walk down to the café down the block.”
10. Take time to check in with your own feelings.
Improve your relationship by accepting that feelings of jealousy are normal.
Uncertainty is part of every relationship, but just because you have jealous feelings doesn’t mean you have to act on them. Before you apologize to your boyfriend, you’ll need to come to terms with your own feelings, so take some time to gather yourself after an emotional incident.
We all have ideas about what relationships should be like, but ask yourself if you need to reevaluate yours. It might not be fair to expect that your boyfriend has never had feelings for anyone else, or that you should be the only person he focuses on.
If you need help sorting through your feelings, don’t be afraid to seek help. Talking to a licensed therapist or counselor can be a great way to feel less alone.
11. Be patient.
Forgiveness can take time.
After you’ve apologized, know that it’s your boyfriend’s choice to forgive you. Making a mistake doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or partner. Let your boyfriend take his time to decide what he wants to do with your apology.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:09",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Be clear about what you’re apologizing for.\\nBeing specific will show your boyfriend that you understand where he’s coming from.\\nWhen you’re apologizing, tell your boyfriend what specific things you think you did wrong, and why. A non-specific apology, like “I’m sorry for whatever I did that made you mad” doesn’t show you understand why your boyfriend is mad. Instead, try something like:\\n“I’m sorry that I got angry with you at dinner last night. It wasn’t the time or the place to talk about these things.”\\n“I’m sorry that I went through your phone without your permission. That was an invasion of your space.”\\n“I’m sorry that I didn’t let you see your friends last week. I know they’re important to you, and I’m happy you have them.”\\n2. Explain, don’t justify.\\nJustifying yourself can make an apology feel insincere.\\nSaying something like, “I’m sorry I got mad. You’re just so insensitive and irresponsible that I can’t stop myself,” is a justification that blames your boyfriend. Even if it feels good to say, it won’t help you repair the relationship. Instead, a better apology, one that explains your actions, might look something like:\\n“I’m sorry I called you that. I was angry, and lashing out, but you don’t deserve to be called names.”\\n“I’m sorry I threw away your old photos. I just love you a lot, and it’s hard for me to think about you with another person. But what I did wasn’t right.”\\n“I’m sorry I read your texts. I have a hard time trusting people, because of my last relationship, but I need to work on getting better about this.”\\n3. Have a plan to do better in the future.\\nTelling your boyfriend why this won’t happen again gives him a reason to forgive you.\\nOne of the main reasons why your apology might fall on deaf ears is if your boyfriend thinks this situation will repeat itself. You’ll have to show him that that isn’t the case, and that you’re going to take steps to improve your relationship. You might say something like:\\n“I don’t want this issue to get in between us again. That’s why whenever I get these feelings again, I promise to talk to you about them, and not to go behind your back.”\\n“I know this isn’t the first time we’ve had this conversation. Maybe we could come up with a safeword, so that if things get out of hand, and I get angry and go too far, you can let me know that it’s time to cool down?”\\n“It’s not your responsibility to deal with the lack of trust I still struggle with from when I was with my ex. I’m going to make an appointment with a therapist next week, and am hopeful that I can find ways to not repeat this situation when I’m there.”\\n4. Tell your boyfriend what you need from him.\\nAn apology can also be the time to express your needs.\\nIf you need something from your boyfriend in order to move forward, let him know in a constructive way. Be sure not to shift blame onto him. Instead of saying something like “You don’t seem excited to see me anymore,” try saying “I want to feel wanted by you.” If you have had previous relationships that have left you feeling betrayed and neglected, then you might need more reassurance to feel secure in your current relationship. It is actually important for those needs to be expressed clearly and for your boyfriend to really hear you and reassure you with his emotional presence and comfort. Try something like this:\\n“I know you have a lot of friends, but would you be OK with checking-in on me once in a while during parties?”\\n“We both have a lot going on, but could you try and talk to me just for a little every night, before we go to bed?”\\n“If it’s OK with you, maybe we could have a no phones policy when we have dinner together. It would help me feel like I’m important to you.”\\n5. Ask your boyfriend what he needs from you.\\nUnderstanding each other’s needs is the key to a healthy relationship.\\nSince you hit this bump in your relationship, now is a good time to ask your boyfriend what things you can do to make the relationship work better. You can show him that you’re committed to working out your issues and to his happiness by asking something like:\\n“Are there things I can do to make you feel more satisfied in our relationship?”\\n“I know this relationship can work, and I want to know if there’s something you need from me for that to happen.”\\n“I want this to be an open conversation, so big-picture: is there something that you need from me? I want you to know you can rely on me.”\\n6. Keep your apology short.\\nBe kind to yourself by not excessively apologizing.\\nApologize enough to express your regret, but not more than that. Remember that you are allowed to make a mistake. If you find yourself constantly repeating the same things, or tearing yourself down while apologizing, it’s best to move on to something more constructive. You can say something like:\\n“I hope I’ve made it clear to you how much I regret what I said the other night.”\\n“I’ve tried my best to show you how terribly sorry I am for what I did. Now the ball is in your court.”\\n“If it isn’t clear to you how incredibly sorry I am about this, please tell me. But if you can see this, maybe we can talk about how we can move on from here.”\\n7. Write a letter.\\nIf you can get across how you feel better in writing, do it.\\nA hand-written letter is especially sincere, but even an e-mail or a long text message lets you pick your words carefully. An effective apology letter might have a structure like this:\\n\\n: “I’m writing this letter to you because I want to apologize for what I said last weekend at dinner. Nobody deserves being called the things I called you, but especially not you, after all the things we’ve been through and all the support you’ve given me.”\\n: “I think that during my last relationship, I always felt insecure and like I wasn’t good enough, and so I’d end up being left behind sooner or later. I lashed out at you because I was scared, but you didn’t deserve that, and it hurts me to know that I’ve hurt you.”\\n: “It’s not your responsibility to deal with my insecurities, it’s mine. I’m going to go talk to a therapist next week to discuss some of my feelings, and I’m doing it because you’re so important to me, and I want for this relationship to work.”\\n: “I know we had a rough night, but I also know that things can get better. Something that I think I need is to be in closer communication with you. Would it be OK if we spent some time every night talking? It doesn’t matter about what. I want you to know that you can tell me if you ever need anything from me.”\\n: “I’m trying to tell you how sorry I am for what I did, and I hope that comes across. If you can, please forgive me.”\\n8. Do your boyfriend a favor.\\nIf words aren’t your thing, try apologizing through actions.\\nDoing something nice for your boyfriend isn’t going to allow you to get to the roots of your relationship’s jealousy issues, but it shows you care. You might try doing something like:\\nStock his fridge with his favorite foods\\nPick up a meaningful gift for him from the store\\nIf he’s into sports or music, get him a ticket to a game or concert\\n9. Take him out to dinner.\\nGetting out of the house helps clear the air.\\nIn a public place, you’re both less likely to let your emotions get out of control. By picking up the bill for dinner, you can show your boyfriend that you care for him, while also giving yourself a chance to talk through your apology together. You can invite him out by saying something like:\\n“I know things have been a little weird between us recently, but can I take you out to dinner at that new restaurant this weekend? I want to talk to you.”\\n“Let’s go to your favorite restaurant tonight. It’s on me, I feel like I owe you something.”\\n“Can we talk for a bit? Maybe we could walk down to the café down the block.”\\n10. Take time to check in with your own feelings.\\nImprove your relationship by accepting that feelings of jealousy are normal.\\nUncertainty is part of every relationship, but just because you have jealous feelings doesn’t mean you have to act on them. Before you apologize to your boyfriend, you’ll need to come to terms with your own feelings, so take some time to gather yourself after an emotional incident.\\nWe all have ideas about what relationships should be like, but ask yourself if you need to reevaluate yours. It might not be fair to expect that your boyfriend has never had feelings for anyone else, or that you should be the only person he focuses on.\\nIf you need help sorting through your feelings, don’t be afraid to seek help. Talking to a licensed therapist or counselor can be a great way to feel less alone.\\n11. Be patient.\\nForgiveness can take time.\\nAfter you’ve apologized, know that it’s your boyfriend’s choice to forgive you. Making a mistake doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or partner. Let your boyfriend take his time to decide what he wants to do with your apology.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"We’re all human, and we all sometimes let our emotions get the better of us. While there is nothing wrong with feeling jealous per se, if you’re feeling regret over a time when you were jealous and lashed out at your boyfriend because of it, you’re probably wondering how to fix the situation. An apology is always the best place to start when it comes to repairing relationships. Here, we’ll walk you through how to apologize to your boyfriend for being jealous so that you can fix things and move on with dignity.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be clear about what you’re apologizing for.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being specific will show your boyfriend that you understand where he’s coming from.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re apologizing, tell your boyfriend what specific things you think you did wrong, and why. A non-specific apology, like “I’m sorry for whatever I did that made you mad” doesn’t show you understand why your boyfriend is mad. Instead, try something like:\\n“I’m sorry that I got angry with you at dinner last night. It wasn’t the time or the place to talk about these things.”\\n“I’m sorry that I went through your phone without your permission. That was an invasion of your space.”\\n“I’m sorry that I didn’t let you see your friends last week. I know they’re important to you, and I’m happy you have them.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Explain, don’t justify.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Justifying yourself can make an apology feel insincere.\", \"描述\": \"Saying something like, “I’m sorry I got mad. You’re just so insensitive and irresponsible that I can’t stop myself,” is a justification that blames your boyfriend. Even if it feels good to say, it won’t help you repair the relationship. Instead, a better apology, one that explains your actions, might look something like:\\n“I’m sorry I called you that. I was angry, and lashing out, but you don’t deserve to be called names.”\\n“I’m sorry I threw away your old photos. I just love you a lot, and it’s hard for me to think about you with another person. But what I did wasn’t right.”\\n“I’m sorry I read your texts. I have a hard time trusting people, because of my last relationship, but I need to work on getting better about this.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have a plan to do better in the future.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Telling your boyfriend why this won’t happen again gives him a reason to forgive you.\", \"描述\": \"One of the main reasons why your apology might fall on deaf ears is if your boyfriend thinks this situation will repeat itself. You’ll have to show him that that isn’t the case, and that you’re going to take steps to improve your relationship. You might say something like:\\n“I don’t want this issue to get in between us again. That’s why whenever I get these feelings again, I promise to talk to you about them, and not to go behind your back.”\\n“I know this isn’t the first time we’ve had this conversation. Maybe we could come up with a safeword, so that if things get out of hand, and I get angry and go too far, you can let me know that it’s time to cool down?”\\n“It’s not your responsibility to deal with the lack of trust I still struggle with from when I was with my ex. I’m going to make an appointment with a therapist next week, and am hopeful that I can find ways to not repeat this situation when I’m there.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tell your boyfriend what you need from him.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"An apology can also be the time to express your needs.\", \"描述\": \"If you need something from your boyfriend in order to move forward, let him know in a constructive way. Be sure not to shift blame onto him. Instead of saying something like “You don’t seem excited to see me anymore,” try saying “I want to feel wanted by you.” If you have had previous relationships that have left you feeling betrayed and neglected, then you might need more reassurance to feel secure in your current relationship. It is actually important for those needs to be expressed clearly and for your boyfriend to really hear you and reassure you with his emotional presence and comfort. Try something like this:\\n“I know you have a lot of friends, but would you be OK with checking-in on me once in a while during parties?”\\n“We both have a lot going on, but could you try and talk to me just for a little every night, before we go to bed?”\\n“If it’s OK with you, maybe we could have a no phones policy when we have dinner together. It would help me feel like I’m important to you.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask your boyfriend what he needs from you.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understanding each other’s needs is the key to a healthy relationship.\", \"描述\": \"Since you hit this bump in your relationship, now is a good time to ask your boyfriend what things you can do to make the relationship work better. You can show him that you’re committed to working out your issues and to his happiness by asking something like:\\n“Are there things I can do to make you feel more satisfied in our relationship?”\\n“I know this relationship can work, and I want to know if there’s something you need from me for that to happen.”\\n“I want this to be an open conversation, so big-picture: is there something that you need from me? I want you to know you can rely on me.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Keep your apology short.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be kind to yourself by not excessively apologizing.\", \"描述\": \"Apologize enough to express your regret, but not more than that. Remember that you are allowed to make a mistake. If you find yourself constantly repeating the same things, or tearing yourself down while apologizing, it’s best to move on to something more constructive. You can say something like:\\n“I hope I’ve made it clear to you how much I regret what I said the other night.”\\n“I’ve tried my best to show you how terribly sorry I am for what I did. Now the ball is in your court.”\\n“If it isn’t clear to you how incredibly sorry I am about this, please tell me. But if you can see this, maybe we can talk about how we can move on from here.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Write a letter.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you can get across how you feel better in writing, do it.\", \"描述\": \"A hand-written letter is especially sincere, but even an e-mail or a long text message lets you pick your words carefully. An effective apology letter might have a structure like this:\\n\\n: “I’m writing this letter to you because I want to apologize for what I said last weekend at dinner. Nobody deserves being called the things I called you, but especially not you, after all the things we’ve been through and all the support you’ve given me.”\\n: “I think that during my last relationship, I always felt insecure and like I wasn’t good enough, and so I’d end up being left behind sooner or later. I lashed out at you because I was scared, but you didn’t deserve that, and it hurts me to know that I’ve hurt you.”\\n: “It’s not your responsibility to deal with my insecurities, it’s mine. I’m going to go talk to a therapist next week to discuss some of my feelings, and I’m doing it because you’re so important to me, and I want for this relationship to work.”\\n: “I know we had a rough night, but I also know that things can get better. Something that I think I need is to be in closer communication with you. Would it be OK if we spent some time every night talking? It doesn’t matter about what. I want you to know that you can tell me if you ever need anything from me.”\\n: “I’m trying to tell you how sorry I am for what I did, and I hope that comes across. If you can, please forgive me.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Do your boyfriend a favor.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If words aren’t your thing, try apologizing through actions.\", \"描述\": \"Doing something nice for your boyfriend isn’t going to allow you to get to the roots of your relationship’s jealousy issues, but it shows you care. You might try doing something like:\\nStock his fridge with his favorite foods\\nPick up a meaningful gift for him from the store\\nIf he’s into sports or music, get him a ticket to a game or concert\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Take him out to dinner.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting out of the house helps clear the air.\", \"描述\": \"In a public place, you’re both less likely to let your emotions get out of control. By picking up the bill for dinner, you can show your boyfriend that you care for him, while also giving yourself a chance to talk through your apology together. You can invite him out by saying something like:\\n“I know things have been a little weird between us recently, but can I take you out to dinner at that new restaurant this weekend? I want to talk to you.”\\n“Let’s go to your favorite restaurant tonight. It’s on me, I feel like I owe you something.”\\n“Can we talk for a bit? Maybe we could walk down to the café down the block.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Take time to check in with your own feelings.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Improve your relationship by accepting that feelings of jealousy are normal.\", \"描述\": \"Uncertainty is part of every relationship, but just because you have jealous feelings doesn’t mean you have to act on them. Before you apologize to your boyfriend, you’ll need to come to terms with your own feelings, so take some time to gather yourself after an emotional incident.\\nWe all have ideas about what relationships should be like, but ask yourself if you need to reevaluate yours. It might not be fair to expect that your boyfriend has never had feelings for anyone else, or that you should be the only person he focuses on.\\nIf you need help sorting through your feelings, don’t be afraid to seek help. Talking to a licensed therapist or counselor can be a great way to feel less alone.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Be patient.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Forgiveness can take time.\", \"描述\": \"After you’ve apologized, know that it’s your boyfriend’s choice to forgive you. Making a mistake doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or partner. Let your boyfriend take his time to decide what he wants to do with your apology.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,790 | How to Apologize to Your Boyfriend for Being Moody | 1. Acknowledge that you’ve hurt your boyfriend.
Accepting responsibility is necessary for a heartfelt apology.
Whether you upset him intentionally or not, a good apology (and healing) starts with realizing that you acted or spoke in a way that caused harm to your boyfriend or relationship. Imagine how you’d feel if your boyfriend was moody towards you—this empathy can help you acknowledge your actions and plan what to say:
“I’m sure you’re feeling confused and hurt by how I was acting.”
“I know you’re upset with me.”
“You’re angry and tired, and I understand that.”
2. Use a clear “I’m sorry” statement.
Let him know right away that you’re apologizing.
Saying “sorry” at the top of your apology is important because it sets the tone of your conversation. Think of these first few words as the launchpad for the rest of your apology. Begin with something simple like:
“ I’ve been moody lately.”
“ acting so distant this week.”
“ the way I treated you last night.”
“ the bad joke that I made. It wasn't appropriate humor, and I honestly didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
If you’re apologizing over text, start with a preface like “I wish I could say this in person. I apologize for being moody” or “I’d rather tell you this face to face, but I’m sorry about the way I’ve been acting.”
3. Be specific about what you’re apologizing for.
Mention specific examples to show you understand what you did.
Just saying “I’m sorry” doesn’t show your boyfriend that you get how he feels or how you impacted him (which is what you want to do!). Keep the focus on your actions—things like “I’m sorry you felt mad” or “I’m sorry you misunderstood me” don’t get to the heart of the issue. Try things like:
“I’m sorry that I blew up at you last night.”
“I apologize for giving you the cold shoulder this week.”
“I want to say sorry for acting so hot and cold yesterday.”
4. Explain what went wrong.
Tell your boyfriend what made you moody without making excuses.
Explaining why you felt off or lashed out is helpful, but trying to justify your behavior is not—it puts the blame on him or some other factor instead of yourself. A good apology doesn’t use “if” or “but” statements (“I’m sorry I was moody, but it’s only because of work” or “I'm sorry if I made you upset”). Instead, try:
“I’m sorry I’ve been moody lately. Work has been really stressful lately and I’ve been taking it home with me, which is unfair to you.”
“I apologize for yelling at you last night. My parents have been on my case all week and I just feel so tense all the time.”
“I’m so sorry for being unpredictable lately. I had a huge falling out with Katie on Tuesday and the drama of it all has been getting to me. It’s not your fault.”
5. Show your boyfriend empathy.
It’s crucial to show him you understand how you made him feel.
This is your chance to show him how much you really care, and it's even more important than saying “I’m sorry.” He’ll be more ready and willing to accept your apology when you show that you understand the effects of your moodiness on him (remember, your apology is about him). You can say things like:
“I’m sorry for being so snarky lately. I’m trying to balance too many things and the pressure is getting to me. I know you must feel so confused and hurt when I say mean things.”
“I apologize for being so withdrawn and ignoring your calls yesterday. I’ve been going through a hard time lately and I can’t help but shut down sometimes. I can imagine it makes you question how I feel about you.”
“I want to say sorry for blowing up after dinner last night. It wasn't your fault, I’m just really on edge right now because of my roommate situation. I know it was embarrassing for me to yell in public and I’m sure I ruined the night you had planned for us.”
6. Ask for forgiveness.
Wrap up your apology with a request for forgiveness or understanding.
It can feel uncomfortable to ask, but it gives your boyfriend the chance to accept your apology, bring up his feelings, or continue the conversation. It also shows you’re humble and that you don’t demand or expect automatic forgiveness. If you're truly sorry, chances are he can't wait to put this all behind you! Try ending with:
“I hope you can forgive me.”
“Do you forgive me?”
“I know it might take some time, but I really hope you can accept my apology.”
7. Tell him you’ll adjust.
Explain how you’ll make changes to avoid being moody later.
This can be part of your initial apology, or you can add it in later in your conversation. Your words mean more if you’re willing to make real changes to back them up. This will make him feel confident that you two can avoid repeating the scenario in the future. Say:
“I’m going to work on managing my stress so I’m not taking it out on you.”
“I’ll be better about keeping work at work so I can be my best self around you.”
“I promise to be more open about my feelings so I’m not so moody all of a sudden.”
8. Keep it clear and direct.
A straightforward apology is easier to process and respond to.
Over-apologizing can sound self-indulgent and takes the focus off your boyfriend and his needs. Say what you need to say in simple terms—you can elaborate more later if you need to. A full apology (in person or over text) might look like:
“Hey, I’m so sorry for being moody today. I’m just exhausted from working overtime and my fuse is short. I know you’re probably confused and worried about me. I promise I’ll work on balancing work better so I can be in a good mood when we’re together. I hope you can forgive me.”
“I want to apologize for giving you the silent treatment. I’m just really upset that I didn’t pass the bar exam and I’m taking it out on you, which is completely unfair. I completely understand why you’re angry and hurt by it. Do you forgive me?”
“I’m sorry for being moody this week. I haven’t been able to get any down time since I got back from my trip and it’s getting to me. You’re frustrated with me and worried that I’m not acting like myself, and I appreciate that. Can you forgive me?”
9. Mean what you say.
Be sincere and let your apology speak for itself.
An honest apology doesn’t have any agenda other than to repair the damage done by your words or actions. Your boyfriend shouldn’t feel like you’re trying to get him to change his mind, take blame, or manipulate his feelings. To be sincere, keep your explanations brief and all about you (not what your boyfriend might have done). Your explanations might sound like:
“I’m still just upset about losing my scholarship.”
“I’ve been feeling down and moody since my parents split up.”
“I’m still adjusting to my new work schedule and I’m so stressed out.”
10. Match your body language to your words.
If you’re apologizing in person, show him you’re sorry.
Make eye contact and nod along as he responds to you to show you care about what he’s saying. Mirror his position—if he’s standing and facing you, stand and face him back so your shoulders are parallel. If he’s sitting down, sit down beside him.
Your tone is important too. Speak low and softly to sound even-tempered and sincere.
Some affectionate touching, like a hug or holding hands, can help show that you mean what you say.
11. Actively listen to him.
Fight the urge to interrupt or defend yourself while he responds.
Be patient and let him say what he has to say. Listening shows that you care about his feelings and it gives you the chance to learn about your impact and how you can avoid the same mistakes in the future. Show you’re listening with phrases like these:
“I understand where you’re coming from.”
“Is there anything else you want me to know?”
“Can you go more in-depth about that?”
He’ll grow more comfortable opening up to you when you show him you can listen without reacting harshly, correcting him, or cutting him off.
12. Ask him what he needs.
Be curious about what you can do to make your boyfriend feel better.
Sometimes, a heartfelt apology is enough to find resolution. Other times, you’ll have to work together to come up with a solution that works for both of you (think of it as a learning opportunity). Just by asking, you’re showing interest in him that lets him know you care. Ask things like:
“What can I do to make up for my lousy behavior?”
“Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”
“Please let me know how I can make this up to you.”
13. Follow up in person.
If you apologized over text, continue the conversation face to face later.
A strong apology text includes a plan to meet IRL. Your facial expressions, tone, and body language all get lost over text—meeting in person is the best way to show real empathy and connect. You can say:
“Can we grab coffee tomorrow to talk more?”
“Let’s get together soon—I really want to see you and make this OK.”
“Why don’t you come over tonight and we can get on the same page?”
14. Follow through on your apology.
The best apology is changed behavior.
Show you care about your boyfriend and that you’ve learned from the past by demonstrating more compassion when you’re feeling moody. It’ll keep your relationship in good spirits and help you cope with stressful emotions, too. Here are a few ways to tone down moodiness:
Schedule some quiet or alone time for yourself to give your mind a break. Meditating, reading, or a bubble bath are great ways to take a breather.
Go for a walk or run to work out some nervous energy. Even just a casual stroll will help clear your mind.
Show yourself compassion. Acknowledge that you’re not in a great mood and try to imagine how that might impact the people around you, including your boyfriend.
Tips
Wait until you’ve both cooled down to approach him and apologize (especially if there was an argument). If possible, choose a time where you can be face-to-face or schedule a phone or video call rather than texting.[16]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:09",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Acknowledge that you’ve hurt your boyfriend.\\nAccepting responsibility is necessary for a heartfelt apology.\\nWhether you upset him intentionally or not, a good apology (and healing) starts with realizing that you acted or spoke in a way that caused harm to your boyfriend or relationship. Imagine how you’d feel if your boyfriend was moody towards you—this empathy can help you acknowledge your actions and plan what to say:\\n“I’m sure you’re feeling confused and hurt by how I was acting.”\\n“I know you’re upset with me.”\\n“You’re angry and tired, and I understand that.”\\n2. Use a clear “I’m sorry” statement.\\nLet him know right away that you’re apologizing.\\nSaying “sorry” at the top of your apology is important because it sets the tone of your conversation. Think of these first few words as the launchpad for the rest of your apology. Begin with something simple like:\\n“ I’ve been moody lately.”\\n“ acting so distant this week.”\\n“ the way I treated you last night.”\\n“ the bad joke that I made. It wasn't appropriate humor, and I honestly didn't mean to hurt your feelings.\\nIf you’re apologizing over text, start with a preface like “I wish I could say this in person. I apologize for being moody” or “I’d rather tell you this face to face, but I’m sorry about the way I’ve been acting.”\\n3. Be specific about what you’re apologizing for.\\nMention specific examples to show you understand what you did.\\nJust saying “I’m sorry” doesn’t show your boyfriend that you get how he feels or how you impacted him (which is what you want to do!). Keep the focus on your actions—things like “I’m sorry you felt mad” or “I’m sorry you misunderstood me” don’t get to the heart of the issue. Try things like:\\n“I’m sorry that I blew up at you last night.”\\n“I apologize for giving you the cold shoulder this week.”\\n“I want to say sorry for acting so hot and cold yesterday.”\\n4. Explain what went wrong.\\nTell your boyfriend what made you moody without making excuses.\\nExplaining why you felt off or lashed out is helpful, but trying to justify your behavior is not—it puts the blame on him or some other factor instead of yourself. A good apology doesn’t use “if” or “but” statements (“I’m sorry I was moody, but it’s only because of work” or “I'm sorry if I made you upset”). Instead, try:\\n“I’m sorry I’ve been moody lately. Work has been really stressful lately and I’ve been taking it home with me, which is unfair to you.”\\n“I apologize for yelling at you last night. My parents have been on my case all week and I just feel so tense all the time.”\\n“I’m so sorry for being unpredictable lately. I had a huge falling out with Katie on Tuesday and the drama of it all has been getting to me. It’s not your fault.”\\n5. Show your boyfriend empathy.\\nIt’s crucial to show him you understand how you made him feel.\\nThis is your chance to show him how much you really care, and it's even more important than saying “I’m sorry.” He’ll be more ready and willing to accept your apology when you show that you understand the effects of your moodiness on him (remember, your apology is about him). You can say things like:\\n“I’m sorry for being so snarky lately. I’m trying to balance too many things and the pressure is getting to me. I know you must feel so confused and hurt when I say mean things.”\\n“I apologize for being so withdrawn and ignoring your calls yesterday. I’ve been going through a hard time lately and I can’t help but shut down sometimes. I can imagine it makes you question how I feel about you.”\\n“I want to say sorry for blowing up after dinner last night. It wasn't your fault, I’m just really on edge right now because of my roommate situation. I know it was embarrassing for me to yell in public and I’m sure I ruined the night you had planned for us.”\\n6. Ask for forgiveness.\\nWrap up your apology with a request for forgiveness or understanding.\\nIt can feel uncomfortable to ask, but it gives your boyfriend the chance to accept your apology, bring up his feelings, or continue the conversation. It also shows you’re humble and that you don’t demand or expect automatic forgiveness. If you're truly sorry, chances are he can't wait to put this all behind you! Try ending with:\\n“I hope you can forgive me.”\\n“Do you forgive me?”\\n“I know it might take some time, but I really hope you can accept my apology.”\\n7. Tell him you’ll adjust.\\nExplain how you’ll make changes to avoid being moody later.\\nThis can be part of your initial apology, or you can add it in later in your conversation. Your words mean more if you’re willing to make real changes to back them up. This will make him feel confident that you two can avoid repeating the scenario in the future. Say:\\n“I’m going to work on managing my stress so I’m not taking it out on you.”\\n“I’ll be better about keeping work at work so I can be my best self around you.”\\n“I promise to be more open about my feelings so I’m not so moody all of a sudden.”\\n8. Keep it clear and direct.\\nA straightforward apology is easier to process and respond to.\\nOver-apologizing can sound self-indulgent and takes the focus off your boyfriend and his needs. Say what you need to say in simple terms—you can elaborate more later if you need to. A full apology (in person or over text) might look like:\\n“Hey, I’m so sorry for being moody today. I’m just exhausted from working overtime and my fuse is short. I know you’re probably confused and worried about me. I promise I’ll work on balancing work better so I can be in a good mood when we’re together. I hope you can forgive me.”\\n“I want to apologize for giving you the silent treatment. I’m just really upset that I didn’t pass the bar exam and I’m taking it out on you, which is completely unfair. I completely understand why you’re angry and hurt by it. Do you forgive me?”\\n“I’m sorry for being moody this week. I haven’t been able to get any down time since I got back from my trip and it’s getting to me. You’re frustrated with me and worried that I’m not acting like myself, and I appreciate that. Can you forgive me?”\\n9. Mean what you say.\\nBe sincere and let your apology speak for itself.\\nAn honest apology doesn’t have any agenda other than to repair the damage done by your words or actions. Your boyfriend shouldn’t feel like you’re trying to get him to change his mind, take blame, or manipulate his feelings. To be sincere, keep your explanations brief and all about you (not what your boyfriend might have done). Your explanations might sound like:\\n“I’m still just upset about losing my scholarship.”\\n“I’ve been feeling down and moody since my parents split up.”\\n“I’m still adjusting to my new work schedule and I’m so stressed out.”\\n10. Match your body language to your words.\\nIf you’re apologizing in person, show him you’re sorry.\\nMake eye contact and nod along as he responds to you to show you care about what he’s saying. Mirror his position—if he’s standing and facing you, stand and face him back so your shoulders are parallel. If he’s sitting down, sit down beside him.\\nYour tone is important too. Speak low and softly to sound even-tempered and sincere.\\nSome affectionate touching, like a hug or holding hands, can help show that you mean what you say.\\n11. Actively listen to him.\\nFight the urge to interrupt or defend yourself while he responds.\\nBe patient and let him say what he has to say. Listening shows that you care about his feelings and it gives you the chance to learn about your impact and how you can avoid the same mistakes in the future. Show you’re listening with phrases like these:\\n“I understand where you’re coming from.”\\n“Is there anything else you want me to know?”\\n“Can you go more in-depth about that?”\\nHe’ll grow more comfortable opening up to you when you show him you can listen without reacting harshly, correcting him, or cutting him off.\\n12. Ask him what he needs.\\nBe curious about what you can do to make your boyfriend feel better.\\nSometimes, a heartfelt apology is enough to find resolution. Other times, you’ll have to work together to come up with a solution that works for both of you (think of it as a learning opportunity). Just by asking, you’re showing interest in him that lets him know you care. Ask things like:\\n“What can I do to make up for my lousy behavior?”\\n“Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”\\n“Please let me know how I can make this up to you.”\\n13. Follow up in person.\\nIf you apologized over text, continue the conversation face to face later.\\nA strong apology text includes a plan to meet IRL. Your facial expressions, tone, and body language all get lost over text—meeting in person is the best way to show real empathy and connect. You can say:\\n“Can we grab coffee tomorrow to talk more?”\\n“Let’s get together soon—I really want to see you and make this OK.”\\n“Why don’t you come over tonight and we can get on the same page?”\\n14. Follow through on your apology.\\nThe best apology is changed behavior.\\nShow you care about your boyfriend and that you’ve learned from the past by demonstrating more compassion when you’re feeling moody. It’ll keep your relationship in good spirits and help you cope with stressful emotions, too. Here are a few ways to tone down moodiness:\\nSchedule some quiet or alone time for yourself to give your mind a break. Meditating, reading, or a bubble bath are great ways to take a breather.\\nGo for a walk or run to work out some nervous energy. Even just a casual stroll will help clear your mind.\\nShow yourself compassion. Acknowledge that you’re not in a great mood and try to imagine how that might impact the people around you, including your boyfriend.\\nTips\\nWait until you’ve both cooled down to approach him and apologize (especially if there was an argument). If possible, choose a time where you can be face-to-face or schedule a phone or video call rather than texting.[16]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Nobody wants to be moody on purpose, but sometimes you just can’t help it. It’s especially tough when being moody puts a strain on your relationship with your boyfriend. If the idea of apologizing seems intimidating, don't worry! We’ve put together a thorough list of psychology-backed ways to craft the perfect apology (in person or over text) with plenty of examples to get you started. Keep reading if you’re ready to apologize to your boyfriend for being moody and make your relationship even stronger.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge that you’ve hurt your boyfriend.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accepting responsibility is necessary for a heartfelt apology.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you upset him intentionally or not, a good apology (and healing) starts with realizing that you acted or spoke in a way that caused harm to your boyfriend or relationship. Imagine how you’d feel if your boyfriend was moody towards you—this empathy can help you acknowledge your actions and plan what to say:\\n“I’m sure you’re feeling confused and hurt by how I was acting.”\\n“I know you’re upset with me.”\\n“You’re angry and tired, and I understand that.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use a clear “I’m sorry” statement.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let him know right away that you’re apologizing.\", \"描述\": \"Saying “sorry” at the top of your apology is important because it sets the tone of your conversation. Think of these first few words as the launchpad for the rest of your apology. Begin with something simple like:\\n“ I’ve been moody lately.”\\n“ acting so distant this week.”\\n“ the way I treated you last night.”\\n“ the bad joke that I made. It wasn't appropriate humor, and I honestly didn't mean to hurt your feelings.\\nIf you’re apologizing over text, start with a preface like “I wish I could say this in person. I apologize for being moody” or “I’d rather tell you this face to face, but I’m sorry about the way I’ve been acting.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be specific about what you’re apologizing for.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Mention specific examples to show you understand what you did.\", \"描述\": \"Just saying “I’m sorry” doesn’t show your boyfriend that you get how he feels or how you impacted him (which is what you want to do!). Keep the focus on your actions—things like “I’m sorry you felt mad” or “I’m sorry you misunderstood me” don’t get to the heart of the issue. Try things like:\\n“I’m sorry that I blew up at you last night.”\\n“I apologize for giving you the cold shoulder this week.”\\n“I want to say sorry for acting so hot and cold yesterday.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Explain what went wrong.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tell your boyfriend what made you moody without making excuses.\", \"描述\": \"Explaining why you felt off or lashed out is helpful, but trying to justify your behavior is not—it puts the blame on him or some other factor instead of yourself. A good apology doesn’t use “if” or “but” statements (“I’m sorry I was moody, but it’s only because of work” or “I'm sorry if I made you upset”). Instead, try:\\n“I’m sorry I’ve been moody lately. Work has been really stressful lately and I’ve been taking it home with me, which is unfair to you.”\\n“I apologize for yelling at you last night. My parents have been on my case all week and I just feel so tense all the time.”\\n“I’m so sorry for being unpredictable lately. I had a huge falling out with Katie on Tuesday and the drama of it all has been getting to me. It’s not your fault.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Show your boyfriend empathy.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It’s crucial to show him you understand how you made him feel.\", \"描述\": \"This is your chance to show him how much you really care, and it's even more important than saying “I’m sorry.” He’ll be more ready and willing to accept your apology when you show that you understand the effects of your moodiness on him (remember, your apology is about him). You can say things like:\\n“I’m sorry for being so snarky lately. I’m trying to balance too many things and the pressure is getting to me. I know you must feel so confused and hurt when I say mean things.”\\n“I apologize for being so withdrawn and ignoring your calls yesterday. I’ve been going through a hard time lately and I can’t help but shut down sometimes. I can imagine it makes you question how I feel about you.”\\n“I want to say sorry for blowing up after dinner last night. It wasn't your fault, I’m just really on edge right now because of my roommate situation. I know it was embarrassing for me to yell in public and I’m sure I ruined the night you had planned for us.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask for forgiveness.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wrap up your apology with a request for forgiveness or understanding.\", \"描述\": \"It can feel uncomfortable to ask, but it gives your boyfriend the chance to accept your apology, bring up his feelings, or continue the conversation. It also shows you’re humble and that you don’t demand or expect automatic forgiveness. If you're truly sorry, chances are he can't wait to put this all behind you! Try ending with:\\n“I hope you can forgive me.”\\n“Do you forgive me?”\\n“I know it might take some time, but I really hope you can accept my apology.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Tell him you’ll adjust.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Explain how you’ll make changes to avoid being moody later.\", \"描述\": \"This can be part of your initial apology, or you can add it in later in your conversation. Your words mean more if you’re willing to make real changes to back them up. This will make him feel confident that you two can avoid repeating the scenario in the future. Say:\\n“I’m going to work on managing my stress so I’m not taking it out on you.”\\n“I’ll be better about keeping work at work so I can be my best self around you.”\\n“I promise to be more open about my feelings so I’m not so moody all of a sudden.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Keep it clear and direct.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A straightforward apology is easier to process and respond to.\", \"描述\": \"Over-apologizing can sound self-indulgent and takes the focus off your boyfriend and his needs. Say what you need to say in simple terms—you can elaborate more later if you need to. A full apology (in person or over text) might look like:\\n“Hey, I’m so sorry for being moody today. I’m just exhausted from working overtime and my fuse is short. I know you’re probably confused and worried about me. I promise I’ll work on balancing work better so I can be in a good mood when we’re together. I hope you can forgive me.”\\n“I want to apologize for giving you the silent treatment. I’m just really upset that I didn’t pass the bar exam and I’m taking it out on you, which is completely unfair. I completely understand why you’re angry and hurt by it. Do you forgive me?”\\n“I’m sorry for being moody this week. I haven’t been able to get any down time since I got back from my trip and it’s getting to me. You’re frustrated with me and worried that I’m not acting like myself, and I appreciate that. Can you forgive me?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Mean what you say.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be sincere and let your apology speak for itself.\", \"描述\": \"An honest apology doesn’t have any agenda other than to repair the damage done by your words or actions. Your boyfriend shouldn’t feel like you’re trying to get him to change his mind, take blame, or manipulate his feelings. To be sincere, keep your explanations brief and all about you (not what your boyfriend might have done). Your explanations might sound like:\\n“I’m still just upset about losing my scholarship.”\\n“I’ve been feeling down and moody since my parents split up.”\\n“I’m still adjusting to my new work schedule and I’m so stressed out.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Match your body language to your words.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you’re apologizing in person, show him you’re sorry.\", \"描述\": \"Make eye contact and nod along as he responds to you to show you care about what he’s saying. Mirror his position—if he’s standing and facing you, stand and face him back so your shoulders are parallel. If he’s sitting down, sit down beside him.\\nYour tone is important too. Speak low and softly to sound even-tempered and sincere.\\nSome affectionate touching, like a hug or holding hands, can help show that you mean what you say.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Actively listen to him.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Fight the urge to interrupt or defend yourself while he responds.\", \"描述\": \"Be patient and let him say what he has to say. Listening shows that you care about his feelings and it gives you the chance to learn about your impact and how you can avoid the same mistakes in the future. Show you’re listening with phrases like these:\\n“I understand where you’re coming from.”\\n“Is there anything else you want me to know?”\\n“Can you go more in-depth about that?”\\nHe’ll grow more comfortable opening up to you when you show him you can listen without reacting harshly, correcting him, or cutting him off.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Ask him what he needs.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be curious about what you can do to make your boyfriend feel better.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, a heartfelt apology is enough to find resolution. Other times, you’ll have to work together to come up with a solution that works for both of you (think of it as a learning opportunity). Just by asking, you’re showing interest in him that lets him know you care. Ask things like:\\n“What can I do to make up for my lousy behavior?”\\n“Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”\\n“Please let me know how I can make this up to you.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Follow up in person.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you apologized over text, continue the conversation face to face later.\", \"描述\": \"A strong apology text includes a plan to meet IRL. Your facial expressions, tone, and body language all get lost over text—meeting in person is the best way to show real empathy and connect. You can say:\\n“Can we grab coffee tomorrow to talk more?”\\n“Let’s get together soon—I really want to see you and make this OK.”\\n“Why don’t you come over tonight and we can get on the same page?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Follow through on your apology.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"The best apology is changed behavior.\", \"描述\": \"Show you care about your boyfriend and that you’ve learned from the past by demonstrating more compassion when you’re feeling moody. It’ll keep your relationship in good spirits and help you cope with stressful emotions, too. Here are a few ways to tone down moodiness:\\nSchedule some quiet or alone time for yourself to give your mind a break. Meditating, reading, or a bubble bath are great ways to take a breather.\\nGo for a walk or run to work out some nervous energy. Even just a casual stroll will help clear your mind.\\nShow yourself compassion. Acknowledge that you’re not in a great mood and try to imagine how that might impact the people around you, including your boyfriend.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Wait until you’ve both cooled down to approach him and apologize (especially if there was an argument). If possible, choose a time where you can be face-to-face or schedule a phone or video call rather than texting.[16]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,791 | How to Apologize to Your Boyfriend for Hurting His Feelings | 1. Give him some space if he needs it.
Letting him cool down might make him more open to chatting with you.
If you just hurt his feelings and he wants to take some space for himself, give him some time. Hopefully, he’ll come back refreshed and ready to hear you out when you apologize. If you aren’t sure whether he’s ready or not, try asking something like,
“Hey, is now a good time to talk?”
“Hey, I just wanted to check in on you. How are you doing?”
2. Be clear about why you’re apologizing.
Giving details shows your boyfriend you know why he’s upset.
When you approach him, make sure you’re super clear about what you’re apologizing for so he knows you mean it. Avoid vague statements like “I’m sorry you’re upset” or “Sorry,” since that could make things worse.
“It wasn’t cool of me to snap at you earlier. You were just trying to help, and I overreacted.”
“I can tell that I hurt your feelings earlier. I really didn’t mean to do that.”
3. Be genuine and sincere.
A fake apology will hurt your boyfriend even more.
Don’t apologize unless you’re 100% sure that you want to say you’re sorry. Keep your tone of voice in mind, too—avoid sarcasm, and make sure your words sound earnest and heartfelt.
Try to avoid saying things like, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” or, “You know I didn’t mean it like that.” These half apologies might make your boyfriend feel like you’re just placating him instead of actually being sincere.
4. Make a clear “I’m sorry” statement.
Make sure your boyfriend knows upfront that you’re apologizing.
As you craft your apology message (or figure out what to say in person), don’t forget those 2 crucial words: “I’m sorry.” Adding those in will ensure that your boyfriend knows you’re apologizing, and it helps set the tone for the rest of the conversation.
“I’m really sorry about what happened earlier.”
“I wanted to apologize for hurting your feelings.”
“I wish I could tell you this in person, but a text will have to do. I’m so sorry.”
5. Explain what happened.
An explanation shows your boyfriend that he wasn’t the problem.
If you hurt your boyfriend’s feelings, you probably didn’t do it on purpose—maybe you were having a bad day, or there was a miscommunication between you two. Tell him what happened and why you accidentally hurt his feelings, but try not to make any excuses for yourself.
“I had a super hard day at work, so I was a little on edge. I’m really sorry I let that affect the way that I talked to you.”
“For some reason, I thought that you didn’t want to hang out with me today. I should have clarified before jumping to conclusions.”
6. Take responsibility for your actions.
Owning what you did shows your boyfriend that you’re sincere.
As you apologize to him, don’t try to make excuses or blame anyone else. The more you take responsibility for yourself, the more genuine your apology will sound.
“I really messed up. I shouldn’t have said that to you. I reacted out of anger without thinking, and that was my fault.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong—it was all me.”
7. Listen to your boyfriend’s perspective.
Let him talk so he feels heard.
After you get your apology out, let your boyfriend take the stage. Hear him out, and try not to interrupt. He might have a few more things to add on or some explanation on why it hurt him so much.
As you listen to him, make eye contact and nod along. This shows him that you’re paying attention and you aren’t distracted.
If you’re apologizing over text, be sure to read his texts thoroughly and respond quickly. If you can, try to chat with him over the phone or via video chat instead.
8. Validate your boyfriend’s feelings.
Empathize with your boyfriend to show him you care.
As you listen to your boyfriend, show him that you understand why his feelings were hurt in the first place. You’ll make him feel understood, and you’ll also show him that you’re dedicated to not doing it again in the future.
“It makes a lot of sense why you felt that way. Thank you for sharing that with me.”
“I totally understand where you’re coming from. I’d probably feel the same way in your position.”
9. Explain how you’ll change in the future.
Show your boyfriend that you’re serious about not hurting him again.
When you apologize, make sure you include some concrete changes that you want to make in your relationship. That way, you can both move on, confident that this problem won’t happen again.
“Next time, I’ll ask you to clarify what you mean before I snap at you. That way, we can avoid any miscommunication.”
“I’ll be sure to tell you when I’ve had a bad day at work. But I’m also gonna work on calming down and not taking my anger out on you.”
10. Ask your boyfriend for forgiveness.
Asking lets him know that you’re serious about your apology.
As you wrap up your conversation, either in person or over text, end it by asking your boyfriend if he thinks he can forgive you. Keep in mind that he might need a little more time to process his emotions, which is okay.
“Thanks for hearing me out. Can you forgive me?”
“Are we okay now? Or do you need a little more time?”
“Again, I’m really sorry. Is there any way you can forgive me?”
11. Work on changing your behavior.
Follow through on your apology so your boyfriend knows you’re serious.
The most important part of your apology isn’t your words, it’s your actions. As you move forward, try your hardest not to hurt his feelings again. If you can show that you’re working on things, your relationship will benefit from it.
Feel free to check in with your boyfriend about it every now and then, too. “I’ve been working on controlling my anger lately. Have you noticed anything different?”
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:09",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Give him some space if he needs it.\\nLetting him cool down might make him more open to chatting with you.\\nIf you just hurt his feelings and he wants to take some space for himself, give him some time. Hopefully, he’ll come back refreshed and ready to hear you out when you apologize. If you aren’t sure whether he’s ready or not, try asking something like,\\n“Hey, is now a good time to talk?”\\n“Hey, I just wanted to check in on you. How are you doing?”\\n2. Be clear about why you’re apologizing.\\nGiving details shows your boyfriend you know why he’s upset.\\nWhen you approach him, make sure you’re super clear about what you’re apologizing for so he knows you mean it. Avoid vague statements like “I’m sorry you’re upset” or “Sorry,” since that could make things worse.\\n“It wasn’t cool of me to snap at you earlier. You were just trying to help, and I overreacted.”\\n“I can tell that I hurt your feelings earlier. I really didn’t mean to do that.”\\n3. Be genuine and sincere.\\nA fake apology will hurt your boyfriend even more.\\nDon’t apologize unless you’re 100% sure that you want to say you’re sorry. Keep your tone of voice in mind, too—avoid sarcasm, and make sure your words sound earnest and heartfelt.\\nTry to avoid saying things like, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” or, “You know I didn’t mean it like that.” These half apologies might make your boyfriend feel like you’re just placating him instead of actually being sincere.\\n4. Make a clear “I’m sorry” statement.\\nMake sure your boyfriend knows upfront that you’re apologizing.\\nAs you craft your apology message (or figure out what to say in person), don’t forget those 2 crucial words: “I’m sorry.” Adding those in will ensure that your boyfriend knows you’re apologizing, and it helps set the tone for the rest of the conversation.\\n“I’m really sorry about what happened earlier.”\\n“I wanted to apologize for hurting your feelings.”\\n“I wish I could tell you this in person, but a text will have to do. I’m so sorry.”\\n5. Explain what happened.\\nAn explanation shows your boyfriend that he wasn’t the problem.\\nIf you hurt your boyfriend’s feelings, you probably didn’t do it on purpose—maybe you were having a bad day, or there was a miscommunication between you two. Tell him what happened and why you accidentally hurt his feelings, but try not to make any excuses for yourself.\\n“I had a super hard day at work, so I was a little on edge. I’m really sorry I let that affect the way that I talked to you.”\\n“For some reason, I thought that you didn’t want to hang out with me today. I should have clarified before jumping to conclusions.”\\n6. Take responsibility for your actions.\\nOwning what you did shows your boyfriend that you’re sincere.\\nAs you apologize to him, don’t try to make excuses or blame anyone else. The more you take responsibility for yourself, the more genuine your apology will sound.\\n“I really messed up. I shouldn’t have said that to you. I reacted out of anger without thinking, and that was my fault.”\\n“You didn’t do anything wrong—it was all me.”\\n7. Listen to your boyfriend’s perspective.\\nLet him talk so he feels heard.\\nAfter you get your apology out, let your boyfriend take the stage. Hear him out, and try not to interrupt. He might have a few more things to add on or some explanation on why it hurt him so much.\\nAs you listen to him, make eye contact and nod along. This shows him that you’re paying attention and you aren’t distracted.\\nIf you’re apologizing over text, be sure to read his texts thoroughly and respond quickly. If you can, try to chat with him over the phone or via video chat instead.\\n8. Validate your boyfriend’s feelings.\\nEmpathize with your boyfriend to show him you care.\\nAs you listen to your boyfriend, show him that you understand why his feelings were hurt in the first place. You’ll make him feel understood, and you’ll also show him that you’re dedicated to not doing it again in the future.\\n“It makes a lot of sense why you felt that way. Thank you for sharing that with me.”\\n“I totally understand where you’re coming from. I’d probably feel the same way in your position.”\\n9. Explain how you’ll change in the future.\\nShow your boyfriend that you’re serious about not hurting him again.\\nWhen you apologize, make sure you include some concrete changes that you want to make in your relationship. That way, you can both move on, confident that this problem won’t happen again.\\n“Next time, I’ll ask you to clarify what you mean before I snap at you. That way, we can avoid any miscommunication.”\\n“I’ll be sure to tell you when I’ve had a bad day at work. But I’m also gonna work on calming down and not taking my anger out on you.”\\n10. Ask your boyfriend for forgiveness.\\nAsking lets him know that you’re serious about your apology.\\nAs you wrap up your conversation, either in person or over text, end it by asking your boyfriend if he thinks he can forgive you. Keep in mind that he might need a little more time to process his emotions, which is okay.\\n“Thanks for hearing me out. Can you forgive me?”\\n“Are we okay now? Or do you need a little more time?”\\n“Again, I’m really sorry. Is there any way you can forgive me?”\\n11. Work on changing your behavior.\\nFollow through on your apology so your boyfriend knows you’re serious.\\nThe most important part of your apology isn’t your words, it’s your actions. As you move forward, try your hardest not to hurt his feelings again. If you can show that you’re working on things, your relationship will benefit from it.\\nFeel free to check in with your boyfriend about it every now and then, too. “I’ve been working on controlling my anger lately. Have you noticed anything different?”\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When you’re in a relationship with someone, you’re bound to hurt their feelings every now and then. Offering a sincere, genuine apology (either in person or over text) can help smooth things over and get your relationship back on track. If you’re having trouble figuring out exactly what to say, read through this article for everything you need to know about apologizing to your boyfriend and getting his forgiveness.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give him some space if he needs it.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Letting him cool down might make him more open to chatting with you.\", \"描述\": \"If you just hurt his feelings and he wants to take some space for himself, give him some time. Hopefully, he’ll come back refreshed and ready to hear you out when you apologize. If you aren’t sure whether he’s ready or not, try asking something like,\\n“Hey, is now a good time to talk?”\\n“Hey, I just wanted to check in on you. How are you doing?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be clear about why you’re apologizing.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Giving details shows your boyfriend you know why he’s upset.\", \"描述\": \"When you approach him, make sure you’re super clear about what you’re apologizing for so he knows you mean it. Avoid vague statements like “I’m sorry you’re upset” or “Sorry,” since that could make things worse.\\n“It wasn’t cool of me to snap at you earlier. You were just trying to help, and I overreacted.”\\n“I can tell that I hurt your feelings earlier. I really didn’t mean to do that.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be genuine and sincere.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A fake apology will hurt your boyfriend even more.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t apologize unless you’re 100% sure that you want to say you’re sorry. Keep your tone of voice in mind, too—avoid sarcasm, and make sure your words sound earnest and heartfelt.\\nTry to avoid saying things like, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” or, “You know I didn’t mean it like that.” These half apologies might make your boyfriend feel like you’re just placating him instead of actually being sincere.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make a clear “I’m sorry” statement.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make sure your boyfriend knows upfront that you’re apologizing.\", \"描述\": \"As you craft your apology message (or figure out what to say in person), don’t forget those 2 crucial words: “I’m sorry.” Adding those in will ensure that your boyfriend knows you’re apologizing, and it helps set the tone for the rest of the conversation.\\n“I’m really sorry about what happened earlier.”\\n“I wanted to apologize for hurting your feelings.”\\n“I wish I could tell you this in person, but a text will have to do. I’m so sorry.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Explain what happened.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"An explanation shows your boyfriend that he wasn’t the problem.\", \"描述\": \"If you hurt your boyfriend’s feelings, you probably didn’t do it on purpose—maybe you were having a bad day, or there was a miscommunication between you two. Tell him what happened and why you accidentally hurt his feelings, but try not to make any excuses for yourself.\\n“I had a super hard day at work, so I was a little on edge. I’m really sorry I let that affect the way that I talked to you.”\\n“For some reason, I thought that you didn’t want to hang out with me today. I should have clarified before jumping to conclusions.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Take responsibility for your actions.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Owning what you did shows your boyfriend that you’re sincere.\", \"描述\": \"As you apologize to him, don’t try to make excuses or blame anyone else. The more you take responsibility for yourself, the more genuine your apology will sound.\\n“I really messed up. I shouldn’t have said that to you. I reacted out of anger without thinking, and that was my fault.”\\n“You didn’t do anything wrong—it was all me.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Listen to your boyfriend’s perspective.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let him talk so he feels heard.\", \"描述\": \"After you get your apology out, let your boyfriend take the stage. Hear him out, and try not to interrupt. He might have a few more things to add on or some explanation on why it hurt him so much.\\nAs you listen to him, make eye contact and nod along. This shows him that you’re paying attention and you aren’t distracted.\\nIf you’re apologizing over text, be sure to read his texts thoroughly and respond quickly. If you can, try to chat with him over the phone or via video chat instead.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Validate your boyfriend’s feelings.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Empathize with your boyfriend to show him you care.\", \"描述\": \"As you listen to your boyfriend, show him that you understand why his feelings were hurt in the first place. You’ll make him feel understood, and you’ll also show him that you’re dedicated to not doing it again in the future.\\n“It makes a lot of sense why you felt that way. Thank you for sharing that with me.”\\n“I totally understand where you’re coming from. I’d probably feel the same way in your position.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Explain how you’ll change in the future.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show your boyfriend that you’re serious about not hurting him again.\", \"描述\": \"When you apologize, make sure you include some concrete changes that you want to make in your relationship. That way, you can both move on, confident that this problem won’t happen again.\\n“Next time, I’ll ask you to clarify what you mean before I snap at you. That way, we can avoid any miscommunication.”\\n“I’ll be sure to tell you when I’ve had a bad day at work. But I’m also gonna work on calming down and not taking my anger out on you.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Ask your boyfriend for forgiveness.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Asking lets him know that you’re serious about your apology.\", \"描述\": \"As you wrap up your conversation, either in person or over text, end it by asking your boyfriend if he thinks he can forgive you. Keep in mind that he might need a little more time to process his emotions, which is okay.\\n“Thanks for hearing me out. Can you forgive me?”\\n“Are we okay now? Or do you need a little more time?”\\n“Again, I’m really sorry. Is there any way you can forgive me?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Work on changing your behavior.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Follow through on your apology so your boyfriend knows you’re serious.\", \"描述\": \"The most important part of your apology isn’t your words, it’s your actions. As you move forward, try your hardest not to hurt his feelings again. If you can show that you’re working on things, your relationship will benefit from it.\\nFeel free to check in with your boyfriend about it every now and then, too. “I’ve been working on controlling my anger lately. Have you noticed anything different?”\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
1,792 | How to Apologize to Your Girlfriend | 1. Apologizing Through Words
1-1. Think about your apology and really get to the bottom of the problem.
Anyone can say they are sorry, but not everyone can mean it and back it up with a solution. Be aware that your girlfriend might expect you to think about your actions and/or words for a while before apologizing to her. Before you issue your apology, have solid answers about:
Why you did what you did, or said what you said, to upset her.
What aspect of your personality that comes from.
How you plan on fixing it so that neither you nor your girlfriend will have to go through the pain again.
1-2. Start off with a simple, blunt "I'm sorry.
Don't hem or haw, or try to apologize without actually saying "sorry." Your girlfriend probably wants to hear those exact words, so be prepared to say them up front.
1-3. If she asks you to leave, tell her you want to apologize.
Tell her you really want to fix the problem and get your relationship back on track. Don't yell or talk over her; you may frighten or upset her and make things worse.
If she seems really upset and doesn't want to handle your apology right now, leave. Ask her if you can give her a call in a couple days.
1-4. Calmly explain to her the reasons behind your actions.
If you thought about the problem (Step 1), you should have a pretty good idea about what and why you did wrong, and how you can fix it in the future.
Example: "I know I owe you an apology. I shouldn't have lied to you or your parents about my age. I knew it was the wrong thing to do, but I didn't want you or them to not trust me because I'm older. I really care about you and your parents, so I plan on apologizing to them directly. I understand if you or they are still mad at me after this."
Example: "I shouldn't have looked at Stacy the way I did. I know that she's your friend, and I'd never do anything to jeopardize my relationship with you or your relationship with her. I don't have an excuse for my actions, only an explanation: lots of guys look at girls. Now that I know it really bothers you, I'll try my hardest not to make the same mistake again."
Example: "I apologize for calling you that name — I'm not even going to repeat it. It was wrong and degrading. I recognize that. I shouldn't have gotten worked up, and I shouldn't have let that slip. I realize that you might change your opinion of me based on that, so I'm going to try to do everything in my power to make it up to you."
1-5. Give her time to respond.
Let her ask you all the questions she needs an answer for. Respond truthfully. A couple of things to keep in mind as you let her grill you:
Don't shift the blame. Even if you're not the only one who's at fault, it's not a good idea to blame her. Your apology won't work if you do that.
Let her express how angry, disappointed, or upset she is. Don't try to convince her not to be; she has a right to. It'll make her feel better.
Don't try to show her affection at this point — it's probably still a little too early. That means no kisses, hugs, or hand holding unless she starts it.
1-6. Tell her you'll give her time if she needs it.
Reiterate your apology again briefly and walk away if she wants time alone. Respect the way she wants to do things.
2. Apologizing in Different Ways
2-1. After you've given the verbal apology a try, use other methods if she still hasn't forgiven you.
Sometimes, you'll need to give her several apologies before she accepts that you're truly sorry. That's okay; the more thought and effort you put into your apology, the likelier she is to forgive you.
2-2. Write a letter of apology.
Give it to her in a romantic way, such as hidden in a nice bouquet, or delivered personally by one of her best friends. The letter can say something like this:
Example: "I know that a letter can't fully make up for what I did. I also know that a letter won't fully capture how I feel and what I have to say. What I do know is that I messed up. I can't imagine not being with you. You're who I dream of when I go to bed, and who I think of when I wake up in the morning. You're everything. Nothing I do now will make up for what I did, but I can tell you that I'll never make that mistake again. I promise from the very bottom of my heart."
2-3. Depending on the girl, try a public apology.
Be careful, because some girls hate other people knowing all about their relationship. Use your discretion before a public apology. Consider this, too: she might feel like you are using public pressure to force her to forgive you, as in "Oh, how could Sarah not take him back? Look how sweet he is to her!" It might ultimately be better to keep these things between you as a couple.
Go for the straightforward public apology. Just go up to her when she's with a group of friends, have something prepared, and bare your heart. Look her deeply in the eyes when you apologise, and focus your attention solely on her.
If you're feeling really creative, try using a flash mob to apologize to her. Flash mobs require a lot of work and preparation, so be sure it will work if you do decide to pull it off.
2-4. Leave flowers, chocolates, or stuffed animals at her home or workplace.
Girls love these three things. Be sure to write a short message to her; flowers and chocolates without a message apologizing again takes a lot of the emotion out of it. Remember, you want emotion!
2-5. Write a song
Songs about missing people, having wronged people, or just songs about guilt and shame would work too. Of course, any song that has significance to you as a couple would be nice. You could try changing some of the lyrics to fit the situation.
Alternately, make her a mix. A mix is a little less personal, but with the right care and thought, it can help you get your message across. Pick both songs you know she loves and songs you think she hasn't heard.
2-6. Write a poem
Leave it for her, or record yourself saying it on her answering machine. Make it heartfelt and very emotional if you can.
Tips
Persistence is key, but you need to know when she wants you to back off for a while.[12]
X
Research source
Try to make it special, because you want her to understand that you care for her.
Remember, the sooner you do it the better. If you really messed up, she is likely to be very upset, and you want to fix that as soon as possible.
Warnings
Don't get caught in a cycle of apologizing for everything just to make all calm again. Your issues as a couple will eventually build up and you will probably end up resenting each other.
There are never any guarantees! But remember that at the end of the day, you just want to make sure she understands how you feel.
Ask yourself why you want to apologize and whether you actually mean it, as this will determine your method.
Put no pressure on your girlfriend to make a decision and no communication for a few days, give her space!
Not everything requires an apology just because your girlfriend got upset. Think long and hard about your conduct - and hers.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Apologizing Through Words\\n1-1. Think about your apology and really get to the bottom of the problem.\\nAnyone can say they are sorry, but not everyone can mean it and back it up with a solution. Be aware that your girlfriend might expect you to think about your actions and/or words for a while before apologizing to her. Before you issue your apology, have solid answers about:\\nWhy you did what you did, or said what you said, to upset her.\\nWhat aspect of your personality that comes from.\\nHow you plan on fixing it so that neither you nor your girlfriend will have to go through the pain again.\\n1-2. Start off with a simple, blunt \\\"I'm sorry.\\nDon't hem or haw, or try to apologize without actually saying \\\"sorry.\\\" Your girlfriend probably wants to hear those exact words, so be prepared to say them up front.\\n1-3. If she asks you to leave, tell her you want to apologize.\\nTell her you really want to fix the problem and get your relationship back on track. Don't yell or talk over her; you may frighten or upset her and make things worse.\\nIf she seems really upset and doesn't want to handle your apology right now, leave. Ask her if you can give her a call in a couple days.\\n1-4. Calmly explain to her the reasons behind your actions.\\nIf you thought about the problem (Step 1), you should have a pretty good idea about what and why you did wrong, and how you can fix it in the future.\\nExample: \\\"I know I owe you an apology. I shouldn't have lied to you or your parents about my age. I knew it was the wrong thing to do, but I didn't want you or them to not trust me because I'm older. I really care about you and your parents, so I plan on apologizing to them directly. I understand if you or they are still mad at me after this.\\\"\\nExample: \\\"I shouldn't have looked at Stacy the way I did. I know that she's your friend, and I'd never do anything to jeopardize my relationship with you or your relationship with her. I don't have an excuse for my actions, only an explanation: lots of guys look at girls. Now that I know it really bothers you, I'll try my hardest not to make the same mistake again.\\\"\\nExample: \\\"I apologize for calling you that name — I'm not even going to repeat it. It was wrong and degrading. I recognize that. I shouldn't have gotten worked up, and I shouldn't have let that slip. I realize that you might change your opinion of me based on that, so I'm going to try to do everything in my power to make it up to you.\\\"\\n1-5. Give her time to respond.\\nLet her ask you all the questions she needs an answer for. Respond truthfully. A couple of things to keep in mind as you let her grill you:\\nDon't shift the blame. Even if you're not the only one who's at fault, it's not a good idea to blame her. Your apology won't work if you do that.\\nLet her express how angry, disappointed, or upset she is. Don't try to convince her not to be; she has a right to. It'll make her feel better.\\nDon't try to show her affection at this point — it's probably still a little too early. That means no kisses, hugs, or hand holding unless she starts it.\\n1-6. Tell her you'll give her time if she needs it.\\nReiterate your apology again briefly and walk away if she wants time alone. Respect the way she wants to do things.\\n2. Apologizing in Different Ways\\n2-1. After you've given the verbal apology a try, use other methods if she still hasn't forgiven you.\\nSometimes, you'll need to give her several apologies before she accepts that you're truly sorry. That's okay; the more thought and effort you put into your apology, the likelier she is to forgive you.\\n2-2. Write a letter of apology.\\nGive it to her in a romantic way, such as hidden in a nice bouquet, or delivered personally by one of her best friends. The letter can say something like this:\\nExample: \\\"I know that a letter can't fully make up for what I did. I also know that a letter won't fully capture how I feel and what I have to say. What I do know is that I messed up. I can't imagine not being with you. You're who I dream of when I go to bed, and who I think of when I wake up in the morning. You're everything. Nothing I do now will make up for what I did, but I can tell you that I'll never make that mistake again. I promise from the very bottom of my heart.\\\"\\n2-3. Depending on the girl, try a public apology.\\nBe careful, because some girls hate other people knowing all about their relationship. Use your discretion before a public apology. Consider this, too: she might feel like you are using public pressure to force her to forgive you, as in \\\"Oh, how could Sarah not take him back? Look how sweet he is to her!\\\" It might ultimately be better to keep these things between you as a couple.\\nGo for the straightforward public apology. Just go up to her when she's with a group of friends, have something prepared, and bare your heart. Look her deeply in the eyes when you apologise, and focus your attention solely on her.\\nIf you're feeling really creative, try using a flash mob to apologize to her. Flash mobs require a lot of work and preparation, so be sure it will work if you do decide to pull it off.\\n2-4. Leave flowers, chocolates, or stuffed animals at her home or workplace.\\nGirls love these three things. Be sure to write a short message to her; flowers and chocolates without a message apologizing again takes a lot of the emotion out of it. Remember, you want emotion!\\n2-5. Write a song\\nSongs about missing people, having wronged people, or just songs about guilt and shame would work too. Of course, any song that has significance to you as a couple would be nice. You could try changing some of the lyrics to fit the situation.\\nAlternately, make her a mix. A mix is a little less personal, but with the right care and thought, it can help you get your message across. Pick both songs you know she loves and songs you think she hasn't heard.\\n2-6. Write a poem\\nLeave it for her, or record yourself saying it on her answering machine. Make it heartfelt and very emotional if you can.\\nTips\\nPersistence is key, but you need to know when she wants you to back off for a while.[12]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nTry to make it special, because you want her to understand that you care for her.\\nRemember, the sooner you do it the better. If you really messed up, she is likely to be very upset, and you want to fix that as soon as possible.\\nWarnings\\nDon't get caught in a cycle of apologizing for everything just to make all calm again. Your issues as a couple will eventually build up and you will probably end up resenting each other.\\nThere are never any guarantees! But remember that at the end of the day, you just want to make sure she understands how you feel.\\nAsk yourself why you want to apologize and whether you actually mean it, as this will determine your method.\\nPut no pressure on your girlfriend to make a decision and no communication for a few days, give her space!\\nNot everything requires an apology just because your girlfriend got upset. Think long and hard about your conduct - and hers.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"A good apology can really make a big difference when you and your girlfriend are in a fight, but how exactly should you go about apologizing to her? There are actually a lot of different approaches you can take. The most important thing is that your apology feels genuine and acknowledges what you did wrong. Don’t worry—coming up with a good apology isn’t hard, and we’re here to help you out! Below you’ll find examples of what you can say and some tips on how to apologize in the best way to really show you’re sorry.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Apologizing Through Words\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Think about your apology and really get to the bottom of the problem.\", \"描述\": \"Anyone can say they are sorry, but not everyone can mean it and back it up with a solution. Be aware that your girlfriend might expect you to think about your actions and/or words for a while before apologizing to her. Before you issue your apology, have solid answers about:\\nWhy you did what you did, or said what you said, to upset her.\\nWhat aspect of your personality that comes from.\\nHow you plan on fixing it so that neither you nor your girlfriend will have to go through the pain again.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Start off with a simple, blunt \\\"I'm sorry.\", \"描述\": \"Don't hem or haw, or try to apologize without actually saying \\\"sorry.\\\" Your girlfriend probably wants to hear those exact words, so be prepared to say them up front.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"If she asks you to leave, tell her you want to apologize.\", \"描述\": \"Tell her you really want to fix the problem and get your relationship back on track. Don't yell or talk over her; you may frighten or upset her and make things worse.\\nIf she seems really upset and doesn't want to handle your apology right now, leave. Ask her if you can give her a call in a couple days.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Calmly explain to her the reasons behind your actions.\", \"描述\": \"If you thought about the problem (Step 1), you should have a pretty good idea about what and why you did wrong, and how you can fix it in the future.\\nExample: \\\"I know I owe you an apology. I shouldn't have lied to you or your parents about my age. I knew it was the wrong thing to do, but I didn't want you or them to not trust me because I'm older. I really care about you and your parents, so I plan on apologizing to them directly. I understand if you or they are still mad at me after this.\\\"\\nExample: \\\"I shouldn't have looked at Stacy the way I did. I know that she's your friend, and I'd never do anything to jeopardize my relationship with you or your relationship with her. I don't have an excuse for my actions, only an explanation: lots of guys look at girls. Now that I know it really bothers you, I'll try my hardest not to make the same mistake again.\\\"\\nExample: \\\"I apologize for calling you that name — I'm not even going to repeat it. It was wrong and degrading. I recognize that. I shouldn't have gotten worked up, and I shouldn't have let that slip. I realize that you might change your opinion of me based on that, so I'm going to try to do everything in my power to make it up to you.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Give her time to respond.\", \"描述\": \"Let her ask you all the questions she needs an answer for. Respond truthfully. A couple of things to keep in mind as you let her grill you:\\nDon't shift the blame. Even if you're not the only one who's at fault, it's not a good idea to blame her. Your apology won't work if you do that.\\nLet her express how angry, disappointed, or upset she is. Don't try to convince her not to be; she has a right to. It'll make her feel better.\\nDon't try to show her affection at this point — it's probably still a little too early. That means no kisses, hugs, or hand holding unless she starts it.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Tell her you'll give her time if she needs it.\", \"描述\": \"Reiterate your apology again briefly and walk away if she wants time alone. Respect the way she wants to do things.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Apologizing in Different Ways\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"After you've given the verbal apology a try, use other methods if she still hasn't forgiven you.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, you'll need to give her several apologies before she accepts that you're truly sorry. That's okay; the more thought and effort you put into your apology, the likelier she is to forgive you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Write a letter of apology.\", \"描述\": \"Give it to her in a romantic way, such as hidden in a nice bouquet, or delivered personally by one of her best friends. The letter can say something like this:\\nExample: \\\"I know that a letter can't fully make up for what I did. I also know that a letter won't fully capture how I feel and what I have to say. What I do know is that I messed up. I can't imagine not being with you. You're who I dream of when I go to bed, and who I think of when I wake up in the morning. You're everything. Nothing I do now will make up for what I did, but I can tell you that I'll never make that mistake again. I promise from the very bottom of my heart.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Depending on the girl, try a public apology.\", \"描述\": \"Be careful, because some girls hate other people knowing all about their relationship. Use your discretion before a public apology. Consider this, too: she might feel like you are using public pressure to force her to forgive you, as in \\\"Oh, how could Sarah not take him back? Look how sweet he is to her!\\\" It might ultimately be better to keep these things between you as a couple.\\nGo for the straightforward public apology. Just go up to her when she's with a group of friends, have something prepared, and bare your heart. Look her deeply in the eyes when you apologise, and focus your attention solely on her.\\nIf you're feeling really creative, try using a flash mob to apologize to her. Flash mobs require a lot of work and preparation, so be sure it will work if you do decide to pull it off.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Leave flowers, chocolates, or stuffed animals at her home or workplace.\", \"描述\": \"Girls love these three things. Be sure to write a short message to her; flowers and chocolates without a message apologizing again takes a lot of the emotion out of it. Remember, you want emotion!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Write a song\", \"描述\": \"Songs about missing people, having wronged people, or just songs about guilt and shame would work too. Of course, any song that has significance to you as a couple would be nice. You could try changing some of the lyrics to fit the situation.\\nAlternately, make her a mix. A mix is a little less personal, but with the right care and thought, it can help you get your message across. Pick both songs you know she loves and songs you think she hasn't heard.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Write a poem\", \"描述\": \"Leave it for her, or record yourself saying it on her answering machine. Make it heartfelt and very emotional if you can.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Persistence is key, but you need to know when she wants you to back off for a while.[12]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Try to make it special, because you want her to understand that you care for her.\\n\", \"Remember, the sooner you do it the better. If you really messed up, she is likely to be very upset, and you want to fix that as soon as possible.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't get caught in a cycle of apologizing for everything just to make all calm again. Your issues as a couple will eventually build up and you will probably end up resenting each other.\\n\", \"There are never any guarantees! But remember that at the end of the day, you just want to make sure she understands how you feel.\\n\", \"Ask yourself why you want to apologize and whether you actually mean it, as this will determine your method.\\n\", \"Put no pressure on your girlfriend to make a decision and no communication for a few days, give her space!\\n\", \"Not everything requires an apology just because your girlfriend got upset. Think long and hard about your conduct - and hers.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,793 | How to Apologize to Your Girlfriend's Dad | 1. Start with the word “I.”
Set the right tone from the very beginning.
Show your girlfriend’s dad that you’re taking full responsibility right from the very start of your apology. Keep the conversation focused on you, what you did wrong, and what you’re going to do to fix it.
For instance, you could start with, “I need to talk to you for a minute” or “I have something I need to talk with you about.”
Avoid saying something like, “You and I need to talk” or “Your daughter says I need to talk with you,” which shifts the focus off of yourself and could make you look insincere.
2. Admit that you were wrong.
Take full ownership of your mistakes.
Come right out and say that what you did or what you said was wrong. Don’t beat around the bush. Get right to it and your girlfriend’s dad may appreciate that you aren’t trying to dance around the subject.
Try, “I was wrong for saying/doing that” or simply, “I was wrong.”
3. Mention what you’re apologizing for specifically.
Show him that you’re fully acknowledging your mistakes.
Avoid using vague or general terms or he may think that you’re just going through the motions and don’t really mean what you’re saying. Get as specific as possible.
For instance, if you and your girlfriend got into a bad fight, say, “I was wrong to raise my voice and shout at your daughter, no matter how angry we were.”
Even if it’s for something relatively small, take the time to acknowledge your specific mistakes. You could say, “It was my fault we were late to the airport” or, “I should have stopped to pick up the ice and drinks like I said I would.”
4. Take full responsibility for your actions.
Keep the conversation focused on you.
Avoid bringing in anybody else to your apology. Instead, talk about your actions and how they contributed to the problem. If your girlfriend's dad asks you questions about your behavior, answer him respectfully and honestly. He'll likely really appreciate that you aren't trying to excuse what you did or blame anybody else.
For instance, say, "I really messed up" or "It was my mistake" instead of something like, “I'm sorry this happened, but it wasn't my fault" or “She pushed me too far.”
If he asks you for clarification about what happened, avoid getting defensive and answer him truthfully. He may just want to understand the situation better.
5. Tell him that you’re sorry.
Look him in the eyes and be direct.
Say that you apologize. Keep it simple and clear.
Try, “I’m sorry” or “I have to apologize” or even, “I’m deeply sorry.”
Avoid going too far with it. Say it once and say it like you mean it.
6. Ask him to forgive you.
Even if he isn’t ready yet, let him know that you hope he will.
Depending on how upset your girlfriend’s dad is, he may be ready to forgive you right away. But he may also need some time. If that's the case, avoid pressuring him to forgive you. Instead, respectfully ask for his forgiveness and let him know that you understand if he needs time to think about it.
Just simply saying that you’re sorry without asking him to forgive you could make it seem like your heart isn’t really in the apology.
You might say, "I understand that what I did was wrong, but would you be able to forgive me?" or "Can you forgive me for what I've done? If you need time to think about it, I understand."
7. Say that you want to make amends.
Get as specific as you can.
Talk about what you plan to do to make it up to him as well as your girlfriend if it involves her. Avoid using vague and general terms like “I’ll be better” or “I’m going to make it up to you.” Be specific and clear about what you’ll do.
For instance, you could say, “I’m going to talk to a therapist about learning to control my temper” or “I’m going to set 2 alarms so we won’t be late again.”
8. Leave out any “ifs” or “buts.”
Caveats and qualifiers can weaken your apology.
Don’t try to rationalize or excuse your behavior. Take full responsibility and keep the focus on you. It’ll make you seem more genuine.
Avoid saying something like, "I realize what this looks like, but you have to see this from my perspective" or "If you had been there, you would understand why I was so angry."
9. Promise that it won’t happen again.
Give him your word.
Tell your girlfriend’s dad that you’re committed to being better and you won’t make the same mistake again in the future. Show him that you mean it through changing your ways and being conscious of your actions going forward.
Try, “I swear, this won’t ever happen again” or “You have my word that I won’t repeat this mistake.”
Make a commitment to change. If you offended your girlfriend's dad by telling a rude joke, for example, think about how your words affect people going forward.
10. Keep it short and sweet.
Express your regret, then give him space.
Try not to ramble on or make friendly conversation with your girlfriend’s dad. He may not be interested in continuing to talk with you or he may think your apology is insincere if you carry on like nothing happened. Instead, make your apology and then take your leave so he can think about it.
You could try, “I just wanted to apologize, and now I’m going to get out of your hair.”
If he seems like he wants you to stay or he continues to talk to you, by all means, stick around! Just don’t try to force the situation.
11. Be prepared to have to apologize multiple times.
Your girlfriend’s dad may take some convincing.
He may be upset with you the first couple of times he sees you after your first apology. Show him that you mean it by being willing to apologize as many times as it takes.
It’s also super important that you follow up your promises with action. If you say you’re going to do something to make amends, do it! Your girlfriend’s dad will definitely notice.
Tips
If your girlfriend’s dad starts getting angry, back off for a bit. Wait until he’s ready to talk to you before you apologize.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:10",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Start with the word “I.”\\nSet the right tone from the very beginning.\\nShow your girlfriend’s dad that you’re taking full responsibility right from the very start of your apology. Keep the conversation focused on you, what you did wrong, and what you’re going to do to fix it.\\nFor instance, you could start with, “I need to talk to you for a minute” or “I have something I need to talk with you about.”\\nAvoid saying something like, “You and I need to talk” or “Your daughter says I need to talk with you,” which shifts the focus off of yourself and could make you look insincere.\\n2. Admit that you were wrong.\\nTake full ownership of your mistakes.\\nCome right out and say that what you did or what you said was wrong. Don’t beat around the bush. Get right to it and your girlfriend’s dad may appreciate that you aren’t trying to dance around the subject.\\nTry, “I was wrong for saying/doing that” or simply, “I was wrong.”\\n3. Mention what you’re apologizing for specifically.\\nShow him that you’re fully acknowledging your mistakes.\\nAvoid using vague or general terms or he may think that you’re just going through the motions and don’t really mean what you’re saying. Get as specific as possible.\\nFor instance, if you and your girlfriend got into a bad fight, say, “I was wrong to raise my voice and shout at your daughter, no matter how angry we were.”\\nEven if it’s for something relatively small, take the time to acknowledge your specific mistakes. You could say, “It was my fault we were late to the airport” or, “I should have stopped to pick up the ice and drinks like I said I would.”\\n4. Take full responsibility for your actions.\\nKeep the conversation focused on you.\\nAvoid bringing in anybody else to your apology. Instead, talk about your actions and how they contributed to the problem. If your girlfriend's dad asks you questions about your behavior, answer him respectfully and honestly. He'll likely really appreciate that you aren't trying to excuse what you did or blame anybody else.\\nFor instance, say, \\\"I really messed up\\\" or \\\"It was my mistake\\\" instead of something like, “I'm sorry this happened, but it wasn't my fault\\\" or “She pushed me too far.”\\nIf he asks you for clarification about what happened, avoid getting defensive and answer him truthfully. He may just want to understand the situation better.\\n5. Tell him that you’re sorry.\\nLook him in the eyes and be direct.\\nSay that you apologize. Keep it simple and clear.\\nTry, “I’m sorry” or “I have to apologize” or even, “I’m deeply sorry.”\\nAvoid going too far with it. Say it once and say it like you mean it.\\n6. Ask him to forgive you.\\nEven if he isn’t ready yet, let him know that you hope he will.\\nDepending on how upset your girlfriend’s dad is, he may be ready to forgive you right away. But he may also need some time. If that's the case, avoid pressuring him to forgive you. Instead, respectfully ask for his forgiveness and let him know that you understand if he needs time to think about it.\\nJust simply saying that you’re sorry without asking him to forgive you could make it seem like your heart isn’t really in the apology.\\nYou might say, \\\"I understand that what I did was wrong, but would you be able to forgive me?\\\" or \\\"Can you forgive me for what I've done? If you need time to think about it, I understand.\\\"\\n7. Say that you want to make amends.\\nGet as specific as you can.\\nTalk about what you plan to do to make it up to him as well as your girlfriend if it involves her. Avoid using vague and general terms like “I’ll be better” or “I’m going to make it up to you.” Be specific and clear about what you’ll do.\\nFor instance, you could say, “I’m going to talk to a therapist about learning to control my temper” or “I’m going to set 2 alarms so we won’t be late again.”\\n8. Leave out any “ifs” or “buts.”\\nCaveats and qualifiers can weaken your apology.\\nDon’t try to rationalize or excuse your behavior. Take full responsibility and keep the focus on you. It’ll make you seem more genuine.\\nAvoid saying something like, \\\"I realize what this looks like, but you have to see this from my perspective\\\" or \\\"If you had been there, you would understand why I was so angry.\\\"\\n9. Promise that it won’t happen again.\\nGive him your word.\\nTell your girlfriend’s dad that you’re committed to being better and you won’t make the same mistake again in the future. Show him that you mean it through changing your ways and being conscious of your actions going forward.\\nTry, “I swear, this won’t ever happen again” or “You have my word that I won’t repeat this mistake.”\\nMake a commitment to change. If you offended your girlfriend's dad by telling a rude joke, for example, think about how your words affect people going forward.\\n10. Keep it short and sweet.\\nExpress your regret, then give him space.\\nTry not to ramble on or make friendly conversation with your girlfriend’s dad. He may not be interested in continuing to talk with you or he may think your apology is insincere if you carry on like nothing happened. Instead, make your apology and then take your leave so he can think about it.\\nYou could try, “I just wanted to apologize, and now I’m going to get out of your hair.”\\nIf he seems like he wants you to stay or he continues to talk to you, by all means, stick around! Just don’t try to force the situation.\\n11. Be prepared to have to apologize multiple times.\\nYour girlfriend’s dad may take some convincing.\\nHe may be upset with you the first couple of times he sees you after your first apology. Show him that you mean it by being willing to apologize as many times as it takes.\\nIt’s also super important that you follow up your promises with action. If you say you’re going to do something to make amends, do it! Your girlfriend’s dad will definitely notice.\\nTips\\nIf your girlfriend’s dad starts getting angry, back off for a bit. Wait until he’s ready to talk to you before you apologize.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"So you made a mistake and you want to apologize for it—that’s great! Apologies are the first step towards making amends, but they can sometimes be tricky, especially if it’s your girlfriend’s dad. But he’ll appreciate and respect you for doing it, and it’s not as difficult to do as you might think. To help you do it right, we’ve put together a list of tips and strategies you can use to apologize and convince your girlfriend’s dad that you mean it.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start with the word “I.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set the right tone from the very beginning.\", \"描述\": \"Show your girlfriend’s dad that you’re taking full responsibility right from the very start of your apology. Keep the conversation focused on you, what you did wrong, and what you’re going to do to fix it.\\nFor instance, you could start with, “I need to talk to you for a minute” or “I have something I need to talk with you about.”\\nAvoid saying something like, “You and I need to talk” or “Your daughter says I need to talk with you,” which shifts the focus off of yourself and could make you look insincere.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Admit that you were wrong.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take full ownership of your mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"Come right out and say that what you did or what you said was wrong. Don’t beat around the bush. Get right to it and your girlfriend’s dad may appreciate that you aren’t trying to dance around the subject.\\nTry, “I was wrong for saying/doing that” or simply, “I was wrong.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Mention what you’re apologizing for specifically.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show him that you’re fully acknowledging your mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid using vague or general terms or he may think that you’re just going through the motions and don’t really mean what you’re saying. Get as specific as possible.\\nFor instance, if you and your girlfriend got into a bad fight, say, “I was wrong to raise my voice and shout at your daughter, no matter how angry we were.”\\nEven if it’s for something relatively small, take the time to acknowledge your specific mistakes. You could say, “It was my fault we were late to the airport” or, “I should have stopped to pick up the ice and drinks like I said I would.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take full responsibility for your actions.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep the conversation focused on you.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid bringing in anybody else to your apology. Instead, talk about your actions and how they contributed to the problem. If your girlfriend's dad asks you questions about your behavior, answer him respectfully and honestly. He'll likely really appreciate that you aren't trying to excuse what you did or blame anybody else.\\nFor instance, say, \\\"I really messed up\\\" or \\\"It was my mistake\\\" instead of something like, “I'm sorry this happened, but it wasn't my fault\\\" or “She pushed me too far.”\\nIf he asks you for clarification about what happened, avoid getting defensive and answer him truthfully. He may just want to understand the situation better.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Tell him that you’re sorry.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look him in the eyes and be direct.\", \"描述\": \"Say that you apologize. Keep it simple and clear.\\nTry, “I’m sorry” or “I have to apologize” or even, “I’m deeply sorry.”\\nAvoid going too far with it. Say it once and say it like you mean it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask him to forgive you.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Even if he isn’t ready yet, let him know that you hope he will.\", \"描述\": \"Depending on how upset your girlfriend’s dad is, he may be ready to forgive you right away. But he may also need some time. If that's the case, avoid pressuring him to forgive you. Instead, respectfully ask for his forgiveness and let him know that you understand if he needs time to think about it.\\nJust simply saying that you’re sorry without asking him to forgive you could make it seem like your heart isn’t really in the apology.\\nYou might say, \\\"I understand that what I did was wrong, but would you be able to forgive me?\\\" or \\\"Can you forgive me for what I've done? If you need time to think about it, I understand.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Say that you want to make amends.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get as specific as you can.\", \"描述\": \"Talk about what you plan to do to make it up to him as well as your girlfriend if it involves her. Avoid using vague and general terms like “I’ll be better” or “I’m going to make it up to you.” Be specific and clear about what you’ll do.\\nFor instance, you could say, “I’m going to talk to a therapist about learning to control my temper” or “I’m going to set 2 alarms so we won’t be late again.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Leave out any “ifs” or “buts.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Caveats and qualifiers can weaken your apology.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t try to rationalize or excuse your behavior. Take full responsibility and keep the focus on you. It’ll make you seem more genuine.\\nAvoid saying something like, \\\"I realize what this looks like, but you have to see this from my perspective\\\" or \\\"If you had been there, you would understand why I was so angry.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Promise that it won’t happen again.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give him your word.\", \"描述\": \"Tell your girlfriend’s dad that you’re committed to being better and you won’t make the same mistake again in the future. Show him that you mean it through changing your ways and being conscious of your actions going forward.\\nTry, “I swear, this won’t ever happen again” or “You have my word that I won’t repeat this mistake.”\\nMake a commitment to change. If you offended your girlfriend's dad by telling a rude joke, for example, think about how your words affect people going forward.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Keep it short and sweet.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Express your regret, then give him space.\", \"描述\": \"Try not to ramble on or make friendly conversation with your girlfriend’s dad. He may not be interested in continuing to talk with you or he may think your apology is insincere if you carry on like nothing happened. Instead, make your apology and then take your leave so he can think about it.\\nYou could try, “I just wanted to apologize, and now I’m going to get out of your hair.”\\nIf he seems like he wants you to stay or he continues to talk to you, by all means, stick around! Just don’t try to force the situation.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Be prepared to have to apologize multiple times.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Your girlfriend’s dad may take some convincing.\", \"描述\": \"He may be upset with you the first couple of times he sees you after your first apology. Show him that you mean it by being willing to apologize as many times as it takes.\\nIt’s also super important that you follow up your promises with action. If you say you’re going to do something to make amends, do it! Your girlfriend’s dad will definitely notice.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If your girlfriend’s dad starts getting angry, back off for a bit. Wait until he’s ready to talk to you before you apologize.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,794 | How to Apologize to Your Guy Friend | 1. Acknowledging What You Did Wrong
1-1. Identify what happened to upset your guy friend.
As soon as you become aware that your friend is mad at you, you need to figure out what you said or did that caused him to get upset.
You may already know, but if you do not, take time to reflect on your recent actions around and words to him. What did you say or do that might have upset him?
If you cannot determine what made him angry with you, you will have to ask him. You cannot sincerely apologize for something that you did not know was wrong or upsetting.
1-2. Recognize that you made a mistake.
You could have done any number of things to upset your guy friend. An important step in giving a sincere apology is admitting to yourself that you made a mistake.
It can be a challenge to do this because many people do not like admitting that they are wrong or that they did something wrong. However, this is a key component to giving a genuine apology and repairing your friendship.
1-3. Understand why your mistake upset your friend.
Presumably, you know your guy friend pretty well. Another key aspect of apologizing to him involves knowing why this particular issue upset him.
Did you offend his values or beliefs?
Did you hurt his feelings?
Did you lie to him?
Did you offend his family or another close friend?
Did you physically hurt him?
1-4. Decide how you will apologize to him.
Generally speaking, in-person apologies are much preferred. However, if an in-person apology is not possible, the next best options are writing a personal letter or giving him a phone call.
Most people strongly recommend against sending an apology in a text message, because it seems insincere. You are sending the message to your friend that you do not have or do not want to take the time to apologize in person and that you do not value his friendship.
1-5. Make plans to apologize to your friend after he has had time to cool off.
If you chose to apologize in-person, ask your guy friend if he will meet up with you to talk the next day. Otherwise, plan to write him a letter or wait a day before calling him.
It is best to give both of you time to calm down and take a step back from the situation. In some cases, apologizing immediately comes off as insincere and selfish. However, you want to avoid waiting too long, because that will cause resentment to build.
In the meantime, prepare your apology to your guy friend.
2. Apologizing for Your Actions
2-1. Plan out what you will say to him.
It is important to go into the apology prepared with what you will say. Typically, boys and men do not appreciate a lot “fluff;” rather, it is better to get right to the point.
“I need to apologize for what I did.”
“I'm sorry for what I said the other day.”
“I owe you an apology for the way I acted.”
“I want to apologize to you about how I treated you.”
2-2. Avoid giving reasons for why you did the action that upset your friend.
Often, these simply come across as excuses for your behavior.
If you feel the need to give a reason for your actions, it is best to stick to reasons that put the blame on you. For example, “I said those mean things about you because I felt pressured to fit in with that crowd.” Avoid saying statements like, “Well, I know I shouldn't have said those things, but you brought it on yourself.”
2-3. Take full responsibility for your actions.
In some cases, you and your friend might both be to blame for the disagreement. However, when you are apologizing, it is best to accept responsibility for your actions.
“I recognize that I was in the wrong.”
“I know that what I did was rude, and you didn't deserve to be treated like that.”
“I'm aware that I made a mistake.”
“I made a mistake, and I fully accept that truth.”
2-4. Explain how you will make it up to him.
When you hurt a friend's feelings or somehow upset him, sometimes he loses trust in you. One way to rebuild that trust is to show him that you value the friendship and want to repair it.
“I'll buy you a replacement since I ruined yours.”
“I don't like that they tried to make me bully someone to be friends with them, so I'm going to stay away from them. I already have great friends, like you.”
“I'll apologize to your family, as well. That was a horrible thing of me to say.”
“I will always be honest with you from now on. Your friendship means a lot to me.”
2-5. Apologize to your guy friend.
Once you have drafted everything you want to say to him in your apology, carry it out.
Follow through with meeting him in person to apologize or be sure to give him a call. If you chose to write him a letter, then leave it somewhere he will find it or mail it to him.
Remember to not make excuses while you talk with him.
Remain calm while giving your apology. Crying will likely make him feel guilty, when you are the one at fault, and getting angry will turn the conversation into an argument.
Allow him to interrupt if he becomes upset or wants to say something, and do not react negatively if you do not like what he says. This shows him that you are serious and respect his friendship.
3. Moving Forward From the Apology
3-1. Accept it if your guy friend rejects your apology.
In some cases, he might not be willing to accept your apology. It is important to accept this yourself.
Do not get mad at him and do not yell at him. It is his right to accept or reject your apology, and if you really offended or hurt him, he might want to do that.
If your mistake has cost you your friendship, you need to take responsibility for that.
Avoid begging for his forgiveness or asking him what you can do to make it up to him. Rather, take the initiative to regain his trust by doing those things on your own.
3-2. Show your guy friend that you mean your apology.
In your apology, you likely told him a way that you will make it up to him. Show him you were serious by following through with those promises.
Do whatever it takes to make it up to him without complaint. Complaining about it will only negate your apology and possibly put the guilt or blame on him.
It is, quite possibly, even more important to follow through if he rejected your apology because this is a big way that you will try to regain his trust.
3-3. Let the situation become history.
Once the apology and the disagreement are over, it is best to let the whole situation fall into the past.
Do not bring it up over and over again, regardless of whether he accepted or rejected your apology. If he accepted it, then bringing it up will likely become annoying and cause a new issue. If he rejected it, then bothering him about it frequently will likely only push him further away.
Tips
View the situation from his point of view to help you better understand why he is upset with you.
Keep the apology short. It does not need to be a long conversation or a long letter. Say what you need to say and move on.
Warnings
Do not get other friends involved. The more people that get involved, the more likely it is that rumors will spread and that the situation will get messier than it needs to be.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:10",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Acknowledging What You Did Wrong\\n1-1. Identify what happened to upset your guy friend.\\nAs soon as you become aware that your friend is mad at you, you need to figure out what you said or did that caused him to get upset.\\nYou may already know, but if you do not, take time to reflect on your recent actions around and words to him. What did you say or do that might have upset him?\\nIf you cannot determine what made him angry with you, you will have to ask him. You cannot sincerely apologize for something that you did not know was wrong or upsetting.\\n1-2. Recognize that you made a mistake.\\nYou could have done any number of things to upset your guy friend. An important step in giving a sincere apology is admitting to yourself that you made a mistake.\\nIt can be a challenge to do this because many people do not like admitting that they are wrong or that they did something wrong. However, this is a key component to giving a genuine apology and repairing your friendship.\\n1-3. Understand why your mistake upset your friend.\\nPresumably, you know your guy friend pretty well. Another key aspect of apologizing to him involves knowing why this particular issue upset him.\\nDid you offend his values or beliefs?\\nDid you hurt his feelings?\\nDid you lie to him?\\nDid you offend his family or another close friend?\\nDid you physically hurt him?\\n1-4. Decide how you will apologize to him.\\nGenerally speaking, in-person apologies are much preferred. However, if an in-person apology is not possible, the next best options are writing a personal letter or giving him a phone call.\\nMost people strongly recommend against sending an apology in a text message, because it seems insincere. You are sending the message to your friend that you do not have or do not want to take the time to apologize in person and that you do not value his friendship.\\n1-5. Make plans to apologize to your friend after he has had time to cool off.\\nIf you chose to apologize in-person, ask your guy friend if he will meet up with you to talk the next day. Otherwise, plan to write him a letter or wait a day before calling him.\\nIt is best to give both of you time to calm down and take a step back from the situation. In some cases, apologizing immediately comes off as insincere and selfish. However, you want to avoid waiting too long, because that will cause resentment to build.\\nIn the meantime, prepare your apology to your guy friend.\\n2. Apologizing for Your Actions\\n2-1. Plan out what you will say to him.\\nIt is important to go into the apology prepared with what you will say. Typically, boys and men do not appreciate a lot “fluff;” rather, it is better to get right to the point.\\n“I need to apologize for what I did.”\\n“I'm sorry for what I said the other day.”\\n“I owe you an apology for the way I acted.”\\n“I want to apologize to you about how I treated you.”\\n2-2. Avoid giving reasons for why you did the action that upset your friend.\\nOften, these simply come across as excuses for your behavior.\\nIf you feel the need to give a reason for your actions, it is best to stick to reasons that put the blame on you. For example, “I said those mean things about you because I felt pressured to fit in with that crowd.” Avoid saying statements like, “Well, I know I shouldn't have said those things, but you brought it on yourself.”\\n2-3. Take full responsibility for your actions.\\nIn some cases, you and your friend might both be to blame for the disagreement. However, when you are apologizing, it is best to accept responsibility for your actions.\\n“I recognize that I was in the wrong.”\\n“I know that what I did was rude, and you didn't deserve to be treated like that.”\\n“I'm aware that I made a mistake.”\\n“I made a mistake, and I fully accept that truth.”\\n2-4. Explain how you will make it up to him.\\nWhen you hurt a friend's feelings or somehow upset him, sometimes he loses trust in you. One way to rebuild that trust is to show him that you value the friendship and want to repair it.\\n“I'll buy you a replacement since I ruined yours.”\\n“I don't like that they tried to make me bully someone to be friends with them, so I'm going to stay away from them. I already have great friends, like you.”\\n“I'll apologize to your family, as well. That was a horrible thing of me to say.”\\n“I will always be honest with you from now on. Your friendship means a lot to me.”\\n2-5. Apologize to your guy friend.\\nOnce you have drafted everything you want to say to him in your apology, carry it out.\\nFollow through with meeting him in person to apologize or be sure to give him a call. If you chose to write him a letter, then leave it somewhere he will find it or mail it to him.\\nRemember to not make excuses while you talk with him.\\nRemain calm while giving your apology. Crying will likely make him feel guilty, when you are the one at fault, and getting angry will turn the conversation into an argument.\\nAllow him to interrupt if he becomes upset or wants to say something, and do not react negatively if you do not like what he says. This shows him that you are serious and respect his friendship.\\n3. Moving Forward From the Apology\\n3-1. Accept it if your guy friend rejects your apology.\\nIn some cases, he might not be willing to accept your apology. It is important to accept this yourself.\\nDo not get mad at him and do not yell at him. It is his right to accept or reject your apology, and if you really offended or hurt him, he might want to do that.\\nIf your mistake has cost you your friendship, you need to take responsibility for that.\\nAvoid begging for his forgiveness or asking him what you can do to make it up to him. Rather, take the initiative to regain his trust by doing those things on your own.\\n3-2. Show your guy friend that you mean your apology.\\nIn your apology, you likely told him a way that you will make it up to him. Show him you were serious by following through with those promises.\\nDo whatever it takes to make it up to him without complaint. Complaining about it will only negate your apology and possibly put the guilt or blame on him.\\nIt is, quite possibly, even more important to follow through if he rejected your apology because this is a big way that you will try to regain his trust.\\n3-3. Let the situation become history.\\nOnce the apology and the disagreement are over, it is best to let the whole situation fall into the past.\\nDo not bring it up over and over again, regardless of whether he accepted or rejected your apology. If he accepted it, then bringing it up will likely become annoying and cause a new issue. If he rejected it, then bothering him about it frequently will likely only push him further away.\\nTips\\nView the situation from his point of view to help you better understand why he is upset with you.\\nKeep the apology short. It does not need to be a long conversation or a long letter. Say what you need to say and move on.\\nWarnings\\nDo not get other friends involved. The more people that get involved, the more likely it is that rumors will spread and that the situation will get messier than it needs to be.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Apologies are complicated conversations to have because they involve one person admitting that they're wrong, and it can be hard to do that. However, when you want to salvage your friendship with a guy, apologizing to him is important. Boys and men are still people with thoughts and feelings and appreciate apologies when they are required.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acknowledging What You Did Wrong\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Identify what happened to upset your guy friend.\", \"描述\": \"As soon as you become aware that your friend is mad at you, you need to figure out what you said or did that caused him to get upset.\\nYou may already know, but if you do not, take time to reflect on your recent actions around and words to him. What did you say or do that might have upset him?\\nIf you cannot determine what made him angry with you, you will have to ask him. You cannot sincerely apologize for something that you did not know was wrong or upsetting.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Recognize that you made a mistake.\", \"描述\": \"You could have done any number of things to upset your guy friend. An important step in giving a sincere apology is admitting to yourself that you made a mistake.\\nIt can be a challenge to do this because many people do not like admitting that they are wrong or that they did something wrong. However, this is a key component to giving a genuine apology and repairing your friendship.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Understand why your mistake upset your friend.\", \"描述\": \"Presumably, you know your guy friend pretty well. Another key aspect of apologizing to him involves knowing why this particular issue upset him.\\nDid you offend his values or beliefs?\\nDid you hurt his feelings?\\nDid you lie to him?\\nDid you offend his family or another close friend?\\nDid you physically hurt him?\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Decide how you will apologize to him.\", \"描述\": \"Generally speaking, in-person apologies are much preferred. However, if an in-person apology is not possible, the next best options are writing a personal letter or giving him a phone call.\\nMost people strongly recommend against sending an apology in a text message, because it seems insincere. You are sending the message to your friend that you do not have or do not want to take the time to apologize in person and that you do not value his friendship.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make plans to apologize to your friend after he has had time to cool off.\", \"描述\": \"If you chose to apologize in-person, ask your guy friend if he will meet up with you to talk the next day. Otherwise, plan to write him a letter or wait a day before calling him.\\nIt is best to give both of you time to calm down and take a step back from the situation. In some cases, apologizing immediately comes off as insincere and selfish. However, you want to avoid waiting too long, because that will cause resentment to build.\\nIn the meantime, prepare your apology to your guy friend.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Apologizing for Your Actions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Plan out what you will say to him.\", \"描述\": \"It is important to go into the apology prepared with what you will say. Typically, boys and men do not appreciate a lot “fluff;” rather, it is better to get right to the point.\\n“I need to apologize for what I did.”\\n“I'm sorry for what I said the other day.”\\n“I owe you an apology for the way I acted.”\\n“I want to apologize to you about how I treated you.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid giving reasons for why you did the action that upset your friend.\", \"描述\": \"Often, these simply come across as excuses for your behavior.\\nIf you feel the need to give a reason for your actions, it is best to stick to reasons that put the blame on you. For example, “I said those mean things about you because I felt pressured to fit in with that crowd.” Avoid saying statements like, “Well, I know I shouldn't have said those things, but you brought it on yourself.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take full responsibility for your actions.\", \"描述\": \"In some cases, you and your friend might both be to blame for the disagreement. However, when you are apologizing, it is best to accept responsibility for your actions.\\n“I recognize that I was in the wrong.”\\n“I know that what I did was rude, and you didn't deserve to be treated like that.”\\n“I'm aware that I made a mistake.”\\n“I made a mistake, and I fully accept that truth.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Explain how you will make it up to him.\", \"描述\": \"When you hurt a friend's feelings or somehow upset him, sometimes he loses trust in you. One way to rebuild that trust is to show him that you value the friendship and want to repair it.\\n“I'll buy you a replacement since I ruined yours.”\\n“I don't like that they tried to make me bully someone to be friends with them, so I'm going to stay away from them. I already have great friends, like you.”\\n“I'll apologize to your family, as well. That was a horrible thing of me to say.”\\n“I will always be honest with you from now on. Your friendship means a lot to me.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Apologize to your guy friend.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have drafted everything you want to say to him in your apology, carry it out.\\nFollow through with meeting him in person to apologize or be sure to give him a call. If you chose to write him a letter, then leave it somewhere he will find it or mail it to him.\\nRemember to not make excuses while you talk with him.\\nRemain calm while giving your apology. Crying will likely make him feel guilty, when you are the one at fault, and getting angry will turn the conversation into an argument.\\nAllow him to interrupt if he becomes upset or wants to say something, and do not react negatively if you do not like what he says. This shows him that you are serious and respect his friendship.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Moving Forward From the Apology\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accept it if your guy friend rejects your apology.\", \"描述\": \"In some cases, he might not be willing to accept your apology. It is important to accept this yourself.\\nDo not get mad at him and do not yell at him. It is his right to accept or reject your apology, and if you really offended or hurt him, he might want to do that.\\nIf your mistake has cost you your friendship, you need to take responsibility for that.\\nAvoid begging for his forgiveness or asking him what you can do to make it up to him. Rather, take the initiative to regain his trust by doing those things on your own.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Show your guy friend that you mean your apology.\", \"描述\": \"In your apology, you likely told him a way that you will make it up to him. Show him you were serious by following through with those promises.\\nDo whatever it takes to make it up to him without complaint. Complaining about it will only negate your apology and possibly put the guilt or blame on him.\\nIt is, quite possibly, even more important to follow through if he rejected your apology because this is a big way that you will try to regain his trust.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Let the situation become history.\", \"描述\": \"Once the apology and the disagreement are over, it is best to let the whole situation fall into the past.\\nDo not bring it up over and over again, regardless of whether he accepted or rejected your apology. If he accepted it, then bringing it up will likely become annoying and cause a new issue. If he rejected it, then bothering him about it frequently will likely only push him further away.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"View the situation from his point of view to help you better understand why he is upset with you.\\n\", \"Keep the apology short. It does not need to be a long conversation or a long letter. Say what you need to say and move on.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Do not get other friends involved. The more people that get involved, the more likely it is that rumors will spread and that the situation will get messier than it needs to be.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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1,795 | How to Apologize to Your Older Sister | 1. Making a Heartfelt Apology
1-1. Find a quiet, private setting.
Start by finding a quiet area in your house where you can address your sister in private. This may be in a room you share together or in your sister’s room. Making the apology in a private, quiet space will show your sister that you are serious about your apology and want to discuss the matter away from others.
Try to make your heartfelt apology in person, face to face. Texting or emailing an apology can seem disingenuous and may not hold as much of an emotional impact as an in-person apology.
You should also choose a time that is most convenient for your older sister. Do not try to apologize to her when she is in a rush and on her way out or when she is hanging out with friends at home. Choose a time when she is alone and can focus on your apology.
1-2. Acknowledge your sister’s feelings.
Begin your apology by noting that you hurt your sister and that you want to address her hurt feelings. Do not use “if” or “but” when you speak to your sister. Be honest and acknowledge that your sister is upset.
For example, you may say, “I understand that your feelings may have been hurt when I read your diary without asking for your permission,” or you may say, “I realize that I made you upset when I said unkind things to you in front of your friends.”
1-3. Take responsibility for your actions.
You should then be willing to admit that you acted poorly or that you were in the wrong. Taking responsibility for your actions will show your sister that you realize you behaved badly and want to make amends for your behavior towards her.
Avoid mentioning your sibling’s own behavior and do not try to blame your sister or make her feel bad. You are apologizing for your actions, not putting your sister on trial for her actions. Blaming her will only make her more upset.
You may say, “I know that I acted badly when I read your diary” or “I can see now that my unkind words toward you were hurtful and unfair.” You may also say, “I was mad at you but I should not have taken my anger out on you.”
1-4. Use “I” statements in your apology.
Make sure you own up to your actions by using “I” statements in your apology. This will show your sister that you are standing by your words and willing to acknowledge that you acted poorly towards her.
You should say “sorry” once to your sister, with intention and feeling. Avoid saying “sorry” multiple times as it may sound hollow or empty after you say it once. Maintain eye contact with her when you make your apology. This will let her know you are serious and genuine.
For example, you may say, “I’m sorry for what I did to you,” or “I apologize for being hurtful and unfair toward you.”
1-5. Give your sister time to accept your apology.
Do not expect your sister to forgive you right away. She may accept your apology but still be upset at you, or she may not respond at all to your apology. Your sister may need time to process her anger and will accept your apology when she is ready.
Keep in mind your sister is not obligated to accept your apology right away, or at all. You should be respectful toward her and give her time to forgive you.
If your sister responds to your apology with feedback or comments about your behavior, you should listen to it without judgement. Be willing to listen to what she has to say and use this feedback to improve your behavior towards her in the future. Do not retaliate or get upset if she responds to your apology with comments or feedback.
2. Showing Her You Are Apologetic
2-1. Write her an apology letter.
Sometimes it’s hard to say “I’m sorry” in person, especially if you feel you have really hurt or upset your older sister. It can also be intimidating to apologize to your older sibling, as you may look up to her as a role model. If you are nervous about apologizing to your older sister in person, you may want to write her an apology letter and give it to her to read on her own time.
You can start the letter with “Dear Sis”, and then lay out your apology. First, you may acknowledge your sister’s feelings and then take responsibility for your actions.
You may end the letter with a heartfelt “I’m sorry for what I did” and a note that you understand it may take your sister some time to accept your apology. You may also offer to talk in person when she is less angry and end the letter with “I love you” to let your sister know you still care for her.
2-2. Make her an apology poem.
Another way you can show your sister you are apologetic for your behavior is to compose an apology poem. This may be a good option if you feel more comfortable expressing your emotions in a creative way and do not want to have to use the more formal letter format.
You may title the poem, “An Apology for My Big Sister.” You may then use the free verse form to write a poem where you address your sister’s feelings and own up to your bad behavior.
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You may end the poem with a line that says, simply, “I’m sorry for what I did to you.” You may then sign and date the poem and give it to your sister so she can read it in private.
2-3. Give her an apology gift.
You can also help to soften your sister’s anger at you by giving her a special gift as an apology. You should think of a unique gift that will show her you feel bad about how you treated her and that you want to make amends for your actions.
For example, if you stole your older sister’s diary, you may give her the gift of a new diary with a better lock and key system. Or, if you broke your sister’s favorite item, you may try to find the same item and replace it as a gift.
You may also want to tie an apology gift to your heartfelt apology. Telling your sister how sorry you are and then presenting her with an apology gift could end up winning her over. She may be more likely to forgive you if you offer up a gift with your apology.
3. Avoiding Conflicts in the Future
3-1. Learn some techniques to help you cope with anger.
If you start to get angry about something, then it is a good idea to calm yourself down before you talk to your sister. The next time you have a problem with your sister, try taking a 15-minute break to calm down before you talk to her. Some good techniques to try include:
Deep breathing.
Meditation.
Progressive muscle relaxation.
3-2. Focus on your sister’s positive qualities.
Siblings tend to fight often over petty and serious issues. You may find yourself in conflict with your older sister often, even as you both get older. You can avoid conflicts with her by taking the time to focus on her positive qualities. Often, it can be easy to ignore her positive traits and qualities, and instead only focus on the negative.
For example, maybe your sister tends to complain and nag you often about your life choices. You may try to focus on the positive aspects of her behavior, as she is likely nagging you because she is concerned about you and cares about your well-being.
You may also try to keep in mind that though your sister nags you, she is also there to support you when you fail or when you are having a hard time. Her positive qualities may outweigh her negative qualities, especially when it comes to her treatment of you.
3-3. Consider your sister’s point of view.
You should always try to view a situation through your sister’s eyes and avoid getting defensive. Maybe your perspective on a situation was different than hers and this led to a conflict. Or maybe your approach to a certain issue seemed faulty from her perspective. Be willing to consider and respect her point of view, even if you may not completely agree with it.
For example, you may feel like your sibling was always the golden child when you were younger or that she gets preferential treatment from your parents now. You could then consider your childhood through her eyes and realize how much pressure and expectation was placed on her growing up. You may be more empathetic toward her if you view the situation from her point of view.
3-4. Make an effort to do kind things for your sister.
Try to do at least one nice thing for your sister. This could be something small, like putting toothpaste on her toothbrush in the morning or asking how her day went at school. Doing kind things for her can help her see you as a kind little sister or brother, and may help to foster a more caring and giving relationship with her. You are both then less likely to get into a conflict or a fight if you are treating each other with respect and consideration.
Be willing to tell your sister the things you admire or appreciate about her. You may say, “I like that you have a good sense of humor, even when you are having a bad day,” or you may say, “I appreciate it when you stick up for me in front of the bullies at school.” Complimenting her on her behavior will help to create a relationship with her that is respectful and honest.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:46:10",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Making a Heartfelt Apology\\n1-1. Find a quiet, private setting.\\nStart by finding a quiet area in your house where you can address your sister in private. This may be in a room you share together or in your sister’s room. Making the apology in a private, quiet space will show your sister that you are serious about your apology and want to discuss the matter away from others.\\nTry to make your heartfelt apology in person, face to face. Texting or emailing an apology can seem disingenuous and may not hold as much of an emotional impact as an in-person apology.\\nYou should also choose a time that is most convenient for your older sister. Do not try to apologize to her when she is in a rush and on her way out or when she is hanging out with friends at home. Choose a time when she is alone and can focus on your apology.\\n1-2. Acknowledge your sister’s feelings.\\nBegin your apology by noting that you hurt your sister and that you want to address her hurt feelings. Do not use “if” or “but” when you speak to your sister. Be honest and acknowledge that your sister is upset.\\nFor example, you may say, “I understand that your feelings may have been hurt when I read your diary without asking for your permission,” or you may say, “I realize that I made you upset when I said unkind things to you in front of your friends.”\\n1-3. Take responsibility for your actions.\\nYou should then be willing to admit that you acted poorly or that you were in the wrong. Taking responsibility for your actions will show your sister that you realize you behaved badly and want to make amends for your behavior towards her.\\nAvoid mentioning your sibling’s own behavior and do not try to blame your sister or make her feel bad. You are apologizing for your actions, not putting your sister on trial for her actions. Blaming her will only make her more upset.\\nYou may say, “I know that I acted badly when I read your diary” or “I can see now that my unkind words toward you were hurtful and unfair.” You may also say, “I was mad at you but I should not have taken my anger out on you.”\\n1-4. Use “I” statements in your apology.\\nMake sure you own up to your actions by using “I” statements in your apology. This will show your sister that you are standing by your words and willing to acknowledge that you acted poorly towards her.\\nYou should say “sorry” once to your sister, with intention and feeling. Avoid saying “sorry” multiple times as it may sound hollow or empty after you say it once. Maintain eye contact with her when you make your apology. This will let her know you are serious and genuine.\\nFor example, you may say, “I’m sorry for what I did to you,” or “I apologize for being hurtful and unfair toward you.”\\n1-5. Give your sister time to accept your apology.\\nDo not expect your sister to forgive you right away. She may accept your apology but still be upset at you, or she may not respond at all to your apology. Your sister may need time to process her anger and will accept your apology when she is ready.\\nKeep in mind your sister is not obligated to accept your apology right away, or at all. You should be respectful toward her and give her time to forgive you.\\nIf your sister responds to your apology with feedback or comments about your behavior, you should listen to it without judgement. Be willing to listen to what she has to say and use this feedback to improve your behavior towards her in the future. Do not retaliate or get upset if she responds to your apology with comments or feedback.\\n2. Showing Her You Are Apologetic\\n2-1. Write her an apology letter.\\nSometimes it’s hard to say “I’m sorry” in person, especially if you feel you have really hurt or upset your older sister. It can also be intimidating to apologize to your older sibling, as you may look up to her as a role model. If you are nervous about apologizing to your older sister in person, you may want to write her an apology letter and give it to her to read on her own time.\\nYou can start the letter with “Dear Sis”, and then lay out your apology. First, you may acknowledge your sister’s feelings and then take responsibility for your actions.\\nYou may end the letter with a heartfelt “I’m sorry for what I did” and a note that you understand it may take your sister some time to accept your apology. You may also offer to talk in person when she is less angry and end the letter with “I love you” to let your sister know you still care for her.\\n2-2. Make her an apology poem.\\nAnother way you can show your sister you are apologetic for your behavior is to compose an apology poem. This may be a good option if you feel more comfortable expressing your emotions in a creative way and do not want to have to use the more formal letter format.\\nYou may title the poem, “An Apology for My Big Sister.” You may then use the free verse form to write a poem where you address your sister’s feelings and own up to your bad behavior.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/9\\\\/94\\\\/Apologize-to-Your-Older-Sister-Step-7.jpeg\\\\/v4-460px-Apologize-to-Your-Older-Sister-Step-7.jpeg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/9\\\\/94\\\\/Apologize-to-Your-Older-Sister-Step-7.jpeg\\\\/aid132368-v4-728px-Apologize-to-Your-Older-Sister-Step-7.jpeg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nYou may end the poem with a line that says, simply, “I’m sorry for what I did to you.” You may then sign and date the poem and give it to your sister so she can read it in private.\\n2-3. Give her an apology gift.\\nYou can also help to soften your sister’s anger at you by giving her a special gift as an apology. You should think of a unique gift that will show her you feel bad about how you treated her and that you want to make amends for your actions.\\nFor example, if you stole your older sister’s diary, you may give her the gift of a new diary with a better lock and key system. Or, if you broke your sister’s favorite item, you may try to find the same item and replace it as a gift.\\nYou may also want to tie an apology gift to your heartfelt apology. Telling your sister how sorry you are and then presenting her with an apology gift could end up winning her over. She may be more likely to forgive you if you offer up a gift with your apology.\\n3. Avoiding Conflicts in the Future\\n3-1. Learn some techniques to help you cope with anger.\\nIf you start to get angry about something, then it is a good idea to calm yourself down before you talk to your sister. The next time you have a problem with your sister, try taking a 15-minute break to calm down before you talk to her. Some good techniques to try include:\\n\\nDeep breathing.\\nMeditation.\\nProgressive muscle relaxation.\\n3-2. Focus on your sister’s positive qualities.\\nSiblings tend to fight often over petty and serious issues. You may find yourself in conflict with your older sister often, even as you both get older. You can avoid conflicts with her by taking the time to focus on her positive qualities. Often, it can be easy to ignore her positive traits and qualities, and instead only focus on the negative.\\nFor example, maybe your sister tends to complain and nag you often about your life choices. You may try to focus on the positive aspects of her behavior, as she is likely nagging you because she is concerned about you and cares about your well-being.\\nYou may also try to keep in mind that though your sister nags you, she is also there to support you when you fail or when you are having a hard time. Her positive qualities may outweigh her negative qualities, especially when it comes to her treatment of you.\\n3-3. Consider your sister’s point of view.\\nYou should always try to view a situation through your sister’s eyes and avoid getting defensive. Maybe your perspective on a situation was different than hers and this led to a conflict. Or maybe your approach to a certain issue seemed faulty from her perspective. Be willing to consider and respect her point of view, even if you may not completely agree with it.\\nFor example, you may feel like your sibling was always the golden child when you were younger or that she gets preferential treatment from your parents now. You could then consider your childhood through her eyes and realize how much pressure and expectation was placed on her growing up. You may be more empathetic toward her if you view the situation from her point of view.\\n3-4. Make an effort to do kind things for your sister.\\nTry to do at least one nice thing for your sister. This could be something small, like putting toothpaste on her toothbrush in the morning or asking how her day went at school. Doing kind things for her can help her see you as a kind little sister or brother, and may help to foster a more caring and giving relationship with her. You are both then less likely to get into a conflict or a fight if you are treating each other with respect and consideration.\\nBe willing to tell your sister the things you admire or appreciate about her. You may say, “I like that you have a good sense of humor, even when you are having a bad day,” or you may say, “I appreciate it when you stick up for me in front of the bullies at school.” Complimenting her on her behavior will help to create a relationship with her that is respectful and honest.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Maybe you ended up pushing your older sister over a favorite item or maybe you said some hurtful things when you were having a bad day. You may get into fights with your older sister often and be unsure how you can repair your relationship. Apologizing to your older sister may feel challenging, but you can let her know you are sorry by making a heartfelt apology and by taking actions to show her you are apologetic. You should also consider how you can avoid conflicts with her in the future, so you won’t end up having to apologize to her all the time.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Making a Heartfelt Apology\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find a quiet, private setting.\", \"描述\": \"Start by finding a quiet area in your house where you can address your sister in private. This may be in a room you share together or in your sister’s room. Making the apology in a private, quiet space will show your sister that you are serious about your apology and want to discuss the matter away from others.\\nTry to make your heartfelt apology in person, face to face. Texting or emailing an apology can seem disingenuous and may not hold as much of an emotional impact as an in-person apology.\\nYou should also choose a time that is most convenient for your older sister. Do not try to apologize to her when she is in a rush and on her way out or when she is hanging out with friends at home. Choose a time when she is alone and can focus on your apology.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge your sister’s feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Begin your apology by noting that you hurt your sister and that you want to address her hurt feelings. Do not use “if” or “but” when you speak to your sister. Be honest and acknowledge that your sister is upset.\\nFor example, you may say, “I understand that your feelings may have been hurt when I read your diary without asking for your permission,” or you may say, “I realize that I made you upset when I said unkind things to you in front of your friends.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take responsibility for your actions.\", \"描述\": \"You should then be willing to admit that you acted poorly or that you were in the wrong. Taking responsibility for your actions will show your sister that you realize you behaved badly and want to make amends for your behavior towards her.\\nAvoid mentioning your sibling’s own behavior and do not try to blame your sister or make her feel bad. You are apologizing for your actions, not putting your sister on trial for her actions. Blaming her will only make her more upset.\\nYou may say, “I know that I acted badly when I read your diary” or “I can see now that my unkind words toward you were hurtful and unfair.” You may also say, “I was mad at you but I should not have taken my anger out on you.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use “I” statements in your apology.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure you own up to your actions by using “I” statements in your apology. This will show your sister that you are standing by your words and willing to acknowledge that you acted poorly towards her.\\nYou should say “sorry” once to your sister, with intention and feeling. Avoid saying “sorry” multiple times as it may sound hollow or empty after you say it once. Maintain eye contact with her when you make your apology. This will let her know you are serious and genuine.\\nFor example, you may say, “I’m sorry for what I did to you,” or “I apologize for being hurtful and unfair toward you.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Give your sister time to accept your apology.\", \"描述\": \"Do not expect your sister to forgive you right away. She may accept your apology but still be upset at you, or she may not respond at all to your apology. Your sister may need time to process her anger and will accept your apology when she is ready.\\nKeep in mind your sister is not obligated to accept your apology right away, or at all. You should be respectful toward her and give her time to forgive you.\\nIf your sister responds to your apology with feedback or comments about your behavior, you should listen to it without judgement. Be willing to listen to what she has to say and use this feedback to improve your behavior towards her in the future. Do not retaliate or get upset if she responds to your apology with comments or feedback.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Showing Her You Are Apologetic\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Write her an apology letter.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes it’s hard to say “I’m sorry” in person, especially if you feel you have really hurt or upset your older sister. It can also be intimidating to apologize to your older sibling, as you may look up to her as a role model. If you are nervous about apologizing to your older sister in person, you may want to write her an apology letter and give it to her to read on her own time.\\nYou can start the letter with “Dear Sis”, and then lay out your apology. First, you may acknowledge your sister’s feelings and then take responsibility for your actions.\\nYou may end the letter with a heartfelt “I’m sorry for what I did” and a note that you understand it may take your sister some time to accept your apology. You may also offer to talk in person when she is less angry and end the letter with “I love you” to let your sister know you still care for her.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make her an apology poem.\", \"描述\": \"Another way you can show your sister you are apologetic for your behavior is to compose an apology poem. This may be a good option if you feel more comfortable expressing your emotions in a creative way and do not want to have to use the more formal letter format.\\nYou may title the poem, “An Apology for My Big Sister.” You may then use the free verse form to write a poem where you address your sister’s feelings and own up to your bad behavior.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/9\\\\/94\\\\/Apologize-to-Your-Older-Sister-Step-7.jpeg\\\\/v4-460px-Apologize-to-Your-Older-Sister-Step-7.jpeg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/9\\\\/94\\\\/Apologize-to-Your-Older-Sister-Step-7.jpeg\\\\/aid132368-v4-728px-Apologize-to-Your-Older-Sister-Step-7.jpeg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nYou may end the poem with a line that says, simply, “I’m sorry for what I did to you.” You may then sign and date the poem and give it to your sister so she can read it in private.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give her an apology gift.\", \"描述\": \"You can also help to soften your sister’s anger at you by giving her a special gift as an apology. You should think of a unique gift that will show her you feel bad about how you treated her and that you want to make amends for your actions.\\nFor example, if you stole your older sister’s diary, you may give her the gift of a new diary with a better lock and key system. Or, if you broke your sister’s favorite item, you may try to find the same item and replace it as a gift.\\nYou may also want to tie an apology gift to your heartfelt apology. Telling your sister how sorry you are and then presenting her with an apology gift could end up winning her over. She may be more likely to forgive you if you offer up a gift with your apology.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoiding Conflicts in the Future\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn some techniques to help you cope with anger.\", \"描述\": \"If you start to get angry about something, then it is a good idea to calm yourself down before you talk to your sister. The next time you have a problem with your sister, try taking a 15-minute break to calm down before you talk to her. Some good techniques to try include:\\n\\nDeep breathing.\\nMeditation.\\nProgressive muscle relaxation.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Focus on your sister’s positive qualities.\", \"描述\": \"Siblings tend to fight often over petty and serious issues. You may find yourself in conflict with your older sister often, even as you both get older. You can avoid conflicts with her by taking the time to focus on her positive qualities. Often, it can be easy to ignore her positive traits and qualities, and instead only focus on the negative.\\nFor example, maybe your sister tends to complain and nag you often about your life choices. You may try to focus on the positive aspects of her behavior, as she is likely nagging you because she is concerned about you and cares about your well-being.\\nYou may also try to keep in mind that though your sister nags you, she is also there to support you when you fail or when you are having a hard time. Her positive qualities may outweigh her negative qualities, especially when it comes to her treatment of you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consider your sister’s point of view.\", \"描述\": \"You should always try to view a situation through your sister’s eyes and avoid getting defensive. Maybe your perspective on a situation was different than hers and this led to a conflict. Or maybe your approach to a certain issue seemed faulty from her perspective. Be willing to consider and respect her point of view, even if you may not completely agree with it.\\nFor example, you may feel like your sibling was always the golden child when you were younger or that she gets preferential treatment from your parents now. You could then consider your childhood through her eyes and realize how much pressure and expectation was placed on her growing up. You may be more empathetic toward her if you view the situation from her point of view.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make an effort to do kind things for your sister.\", \"描述\": \"Try to do at least one nice thing for your sister. This could be something small, like putting toothpaste on her toothbrush in the morning or asking how her day went at school. Doing kind things for her can help her see you as a kind little sister or brother, and may help to foster a more caring and giving relationship with her. You are both then less likely to get into a conflict or a fight if you are treating each other with respect and consideration.\\nBe willing to tell your sister the things you admire or appreciate about her. You may say, “I like that you have a good sense of humor, even when you are having a bad day,” or you may say, “I appreciate it when you stick up for me in front of the bullies at school.” Complimenting her on her behavior will help to create a relationship with her that is respectful and honest.\"}]}]}}",
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1,796 | How to Apologize to a Cat | 1. Reading Your Cat's Body Language
1-1. Take note of your cat's body language.
It will tell you what sort of mood your cat is in. If your cat is too angry or upset, your apology will mean nothing to him or her and will most likely result in you getting slapped across the face.
1-2. Observe the ears.
A cat's ears are very expressive, and will also help you determine how it is feeling. In general, if the ears are up, the cat is happy, and if the ears are down, the cat is not happy. Here are some more detailed guidelines:
Are the ears up and in a normal, relaxed position? If so, you can go ahead and try to apologize to your cat.
If the ears are turned back, do not approach your cat. it is deeply offended and angry. Give it some time. it might be feeling scared. You can still approach your cat, but do it slowly and carefully.
If your cats ears are pressed back flat against the skull, it might be feeling scared. You can still approach your cat, but do it slowly and carefully.
1-3. Watch the tail.
The tail is the most expressive part of a cat's body, and is a good indicator of your cat's mood. Unlike dogs, cats do not "Wag" their tails when they are happy. Here are some more guidelines:
If the tail is pointing up, with the tip slightly curled to the side, your cat is content and safe to approach.
If the tail is poofed up, your cat is frightened. You may try to approach your cat to calm it down, but do so slowly, and make sure that your cat can run and hide from you. A cornered cat may quickly turn into an aggressive cat.
If your cat is twitching or thumping his tail, then do not approach your cat. it is angry, and probably at you. Give your cat some time before apologizing.
1-4. Take note of your cat's eyes.
A cat's eyes respond dramatically to changes in light, but they also change according to mood. When looking at your cat's eyes, you will also have to take the lighting into account as well as the rest of the cat's body language. Here are some guidelines:
If a cat's pupil is very large, it may be afraid. It could also mean that it is just dark in the room.
If a cat's pupils are narrow, it may be angry and agitated. It could also mean that the lighting is very bright.
1-5. Look at the face.
Are the whiskers pointing forward, teeth bared, and nose wrinkled? If so, your cat is still too angry to feel like being approached by an apologetic human. Try again later.
1-6. Look at your cat's body and fur.
Is the fur standing on end? If so, your cat may be frightened or agitated. Is your cat's fur flat against him or her? This means that your cat may be more relaxed; look at your cat's body for other clues to his or her mood, however.
1-7. Take note of the claws.
If the claws are extended or tensed, use extreme caution. Cats are fast, and your cat may be preparing to strike.
2. Apologizing to Your Cat
2-1. Determine the offense.
What did you do to make your cat so mad at you? Did you make fun of her? Step on it's tail? Or did you take it's spot on the couch? Knowing what you did wrong will help you decide how to approach your cat. It will also help you decide how to go about apologizing to him or her. Here are some examples of what you might have done to offend your cat and what you could do to show you're sorry:
If you offended your cat by making fun of it, you will probably have to offer some treats and praise.
If you accidentally stepped on your cat's tail or startled her by dropping a pot, a simple cuddle may be all that is needed.
If you took your cat's favorite spot on the couch, consider vacating the spot and giving your cat a treat.
2-2. Choose a good time to apologize.
If your cat is visibly angry, you will need to give it some time before you try to approach it and apologize; approaching too soon may result in getting scratched. Try not to wait too long to apologize, however; instead, approach the cat as soon as it appears calmer. You can also approach a frightened cat, but do so with caution. Refer to the section in this article on reading your cat's body language to learn how to determine your cat's mood.
If your cat keeps running away from you, consider leaving behind a small treat in a place it can find. This will let it know that you are sorry and still care about it.
A frightened cat should be approached with care. Always give a frightened cat room to escape. it may actually need comfort and reassurance, especially if there was a loud, sudden sound. At the same time, however, it may want to be alone, which is why leaving an escape route is so important. A frightened, cornered cat may quickly turn aggressive.
2-3. Walk slowly to your cat.
If your cat runs away from you, it may be still be angry, upset, or frightened. Do not chase after your cat. Instead, try again a few minutes later. This will reassure your cat that you won't do anything to further harm or annoy it. Having a cat treat ready may also reassure your cat.
2-4. Talk to your cat.
Tell it "I'm sorry." You may even use your cat's name. Make sure that you are using a soft, calm voice, with a slightly higher pitch than usual. Your cat may not necessarily understand your words, but it will understand your tone. Do not use a loud, shrill voice; cats do have sensitive hearing and you will only annoy your cat.
Consider blinking slowly. A trusting cat will blink slowly. You can show your cat that you trust it by blinking slowly.
2-5. Stroke your cat gently in it's favorite spots.
Make sure that you take note of your cat's mood; if your cat appears angry or upset, then do not pet her. Refer to the section in this article on reading your cat's body language to learn how to best determine your cat's mood. If you don't know where your cat likes to be petted, here are some suggestions:
Scratch your cat behind the ear. An even better place would be to gently stroke the area between your cat's eye and ear. Use the tip of your finger and slowly smooth over the fine hairs there.
Scratch your cat under the cheek and against the cheek. it may even forgive you for your offense and start rubbing against your hand.
Scratch your cat at the base of her tail. Place your fingers on the base of your cat's tail, where the tail and back meet, and wriggle your fingers, gently stretching with your fingertips.
Stroke your cat's head, back, and chest. Keep in mind, however, that not all cats enjoy being petted in these areas. Watch your cat's body language carefully for any signs of annoyance.
2-6. Play with your cat.
Your cat could be upset with you because you have not been spending enough time with it. If your cat is more energetic, you could consider playing with it—although most cats would enjoy swatting at a piece of string. Here are some ways you can play with your cat:
Toss a piece of crumpled up cellophane or paper towards your cat. You can also use a toy mouse instead. Do not throw the toy at it, however. Instead, aim for a spot just before it's paws.
Dangle a piece of string in front of your cat. Jiggle it and move it slowly back and forth, towards and away from your cat. You can even try running the string across it's paws.
Purchase a laser pointer and point the laser on a spot on the wall or the floor. Once your cat is paying attention to the red dot, move the laser around. He may even try running after the laser.
Play with your cat using a cat teaser. A cat teaser is a long, flexible stick with some feathers or string attached to one end. Some teasers also have a bell. Hold the teaser by one end and wave the decorated end near your cat's paws. Gently flick it upward—it may try to jump up to catch it.
2-7. Give your cat some attention.
If you have been ignoring your cat lately, you may notice that your cat has become less affectionate than usual. This means that your cat could be upset and lonely. You can apologize to your cat by spending time with it. This could be as simple as reading a book or listening to music next to your cat, or giving him a nice, long petting session. It could also mean that you have to set aside some time to play with your cat.
2-8. Praise and compliment your cat.
If you made fun of or laughed at your cat, you may have offended it. Offer your cat a cat treats and tell your cat how wonderful and beautiful it is. Use a soft, gentle tone. Your cat may not necessarily understand your words, but it will know that you are talking to it and saying nice things to it.
2-9. Give your cat what he or she wants, within reason.
Cats can get upset if they don't get what they want. Sometimes, what they want is simple and harmless—such as sitting on that fluffy pillow. Other times, what they want could be harmful, such as a portion of your dinner. Some human foods can be very bad for your cat's health. If what the cat wanted was harmless, you could relent and let your cat have it. If what your cat wanted could be dangerous, then offer your cat something else instead.
If your cat wanted to sit on that fluffy pillow of the couch, let it do it. You could even pick your cat up and set it down on that spot. Give your cat a reassuring stroke or two.
If your cat really wanted that milk or tuna, you should give something else instead. Milk or cream can upset a cat's stomach, and tuna can be dangerous in large amounts due to its high levels of mercury. Consider giving your cat a yummy cat treat instead.
3. Making Peace Offerings
3-1. Give a treat to your cat.
If your cat is in a more approachable mood, you can try giving him a treat directly. Put three to five cat treats in your hand and kneel down close to the cat. If the cat is ready to forgive you, he will come over to you and eat the treats. At this time, you may try to pet your cat behind the ear (or any other favorite spot). If your cat does not approach you, leave the treats on the floor and step away. Do not take the treats away—this will only disappoint your cat.
Cat treats come in many different textures, including: soft and chewy, hard and crunchy, crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside, dried meats (sort of like jerky), and freeze-dried. You can even find dried tuna flakes in the cat treat aisle of a pet store.
Cat treats also come in many different flavors, including chicken, turkey, tuna, and salmon. You can even find catnip-flavored treats.
Consider getting a beneficial treat. There are also cat treats that help prevent hairballs and tarter. Not only will you be keeping your cat happy, but you will also be keeping him or her healthy.
3-2. Leave a cat treat surprise for your cat.
Be sure to leave it in a place you know where he will be able to find it. Here are some examples:
If your cat is hiding under the bed, consider leaving the cat treat just under the bed. Do not leave the treat too far out from under the bed. This will force the cat to craw out from her or her "safe" spot, and will make him or her feel anxious. Do not reach too far under the bed, or the cat may scratch you.
If your cat is really agitated, leave a treat near his food, or in his favorite spot. In fact, if you offended your cat by taking his favorite spot on the couch, you can leave the cat treat in that spot. This will let the cat know that you are sorry and that he can sit in this spot without being kicked off.
3-3. Add treats to your cat's food.
Take three to five cat treats and place them on top of your cat's food during feeding time. If your cat is picky and does not like treats mixed in with his food, then leave the treats in a dish next to the food.
3-4. Treat your cat with some special food.
Does your cat have a favorite flavor of cat food? If you feed your cat different flavors, choose his favorite one, and serve it during feeding time.
3-5. Offer some dried cat nip.
If your cat is too agitated, you may be able to get her to calm down with a sprinkle of cat nip on the floor. If you do not like cleaning up messes (some cats will eat the dried catnip while others will just roll around in it), then you can give him or her a catnip toy.
3-6. Give your cat a toy.
If your cat is interested in cat toys, you can buy a new toy and give it to her. Simply approach your cat, kneel down, hold the toy out so she can see it. You may leave the toy on the ground and back away, or you can toss the toy. This depends on how your cat likes to play with toys. Keep in mind that not every cat likes to play, especially older ones.
You can make your own catnip toy by cutting a small square from fabric and putting a spoonful of dried catnip in the center. Pull the sides of the fabric upwards, bundling the catnip up inside, and secure it with a piece of string.
You can also make another catnip toy by stuffing a sock with some cotton or polyester stuffing and adding a spoonful of dried catnip. Tie the sock off with some string.
Tips
Consider trying different methods. Some cats do not respond well to playing but love getting attention and cuddled. Others may only forgive you if you give them food.
Take note of what you did to offend your cat and don't do it again.
Give your cat time and try not to rush things. If your cat is too angry or afraid to be approached, give her time to calm down.
Warnings
Never slap, yell at, or punish a cat for ignoring you. It will do nothing but make them feel worse.
Watch your cat's body language. If you cat appears angry, avoid touching him or her, or you might get scratched.
Do not give your cat food from your pantry or fridge as a treat. Most human food is not good for cats.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:46:10",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Reading Your Cat's Body Language\\n1-1. Take note of your cat's body language.\\nIt will tell you what sort of mood your cat is in. If your cat is too angry or upset, your apology will mean nothing to him or her and will most likely result in you getting slapped across the face.\\n1-2. Observe the ears.\\nA cat's ears are very expressive, and will also help you determine how it is feeling. In general, if the ears are up, the cat is happy, and if the ears are down, the cat is not happy. Here are some more detailed guidelines:\\nAre the ears up and in a normal, relaxed position? If so, you can go ahead and try to apologize to your cat.\\nIf the ears are turned back, do not approach your cat. it is deeply offended and angry. Give it some time. it might be feeling scared. You can still approach your cat, but do it slowly and carefully.\\nIf your cats ears are pressed back flat against the skull, it might be feeling scared. You can still approach your cat, but do it slowly and carefully.\\n1-3. Watch the tail.\\nThe tail is the most expressive part of a cat's body, and is a good indicator of your cat's mood. Unlike dogs, cats do not \\\"Wag\\\" their tails when they are happy. Here are some more guidelines:\\nIf the tail is pointing up, with the tip slightly curled to the side, your cat is content and safe to approach.\\nIf the tail is poofed up, your cat is frightened. You may try to approach your cat to calm it down, but do so slowly, and make sure that your cat can run and hide from you. A cornered cat may quickly turn into an aggressive cat.\\nIf your cat is twitching or thumping his tail, then do not approach your cat. it is angry, and probably at you. Give your cat some time before apologizing.\\n1-4. Take note of your cat's eyes.\\nA cat's eyes respond dramatically to changes in light, but they also change according to mood. When looking at your cat's eyes, you will also have to take the lighting into account as well as the rest of the cat's body language. Here are some guidelines:\\nIf a cat's pupil is very large, it may be afraid. It could also mean that it is just dark in the room.\\nIf a cat's pupils are narrow, it may be angry and agitated. It could also mean that the lighting is very bright.\\n1-5. Look at the face.\\nAre the whiskers pointing forward, teeth bared, and nose wrinkled? If so, your cat is still too angry to feel like being approached by an apologetic human. Try again later.\\n1-6. Look at your cat's body and fur.\\nIs the fur standing on end? If so, your cat may be frightened or agitated. Is your cat's fur flat against him or her? This means that your cat may be more relaxed; look at your cat's body for other clues to his or her mood, however.\\n1-7. Take note of the claws.\\nIf the claws are extended or tensed, use extreme caution. Cats are fast, and your cat may be preparing to strike.\\n2. Apologizing to Your Cat\\n2-1. Determine the offense.\\nWhat did you do to make your cat so mad at you? Did you make fun of her? Step on it's tail? Or did you take it's spot on the couch? Knowing what you did wrong will help you decide how to approach your cat. It will also help you decide how to go about apologizing to him or her. Here are some examples of what you might have done to offend your cat and what you could do to show you're sorry:\\nIf you offended your cat by making fun of it, you will probably have to offer some treats and praise.\\nIf you accidentally stepped on your cat's tail or startled her by dropping a pot, a simple cuddle may be all that is needed.\\nIf you took your cat's favorite spot on the couch, consider vacating the spot and giving your cat a treat.\\n2-2. Choose a good time to apologize.\\nIf your cat is visibly angry, you will need to give it some time before you try to approach it and apologize; approaching too soon may result in getting scratched. Try not to wait too long to apologize, however; instead, approach the cat as soon as it appears calmer. You can also approach a frightened cat, but do so with caution. Refer to the section in this article on reading your cat's body language to learn how to determine your cat's mood.\\nIf your cat keeps running away from you, consider leaving behind a small treat in a place it can find. This will let it know that you are sorry and still care about it.\\nA frightened cat should be approached with care. Always give a frightened cat room to escape. it may actually need comfort and reassurance, especially if there was a loud, sudden sound. At the same time, however, it may want to be alone, which is why leaving an escape route is so important. A frightened, cornered cat may quickly turn aggressive.\\n2-3. Walk slowly to your cat.\\nIf your cat runs away from you, it may be still be angry, upset, or frightened. Do not chase after your cat. Instead, try again a few minutes later. This will reassure your cat that you won't do anything to further harm or annoy it. Having a cat treat ready may also reassure your cat.\\n2-4. Talk to your cat.\\nTell it \\\"I'm sorry.\\\" You may even use your cat's name. Make sure that you are using a soft, calm voice, with a slightly higher pitch than usual. Your cat may not necessarily understand your words, but it will understand your tone. Do not use a loud, shrill voice; cats do have sensitive hearing and you will only annoy your cat.\\nConsider blinking slowly. A trusting cat will blink slowly. You can show your cat that you trust it by blinking slowly.\\n2-5. Stroke your cat gently in it's favorite spots.\\nMake sure that you take note of your cat's mood; if your cat appears angry or upset, then do not pet her. Refer to the section in this article on reading your cat's body language to learn how to best determine your cat's mood. If you don't know where your cat likes to be petted, here are some suggestions:\\nScratch your cat behind the ear. An even better place would be to gently stroke the area between your cat's eye and ear. Use the tip of your finger and slowly smooth over the fine hairs there.\\nScratch your cat under the cheek and against the cheek. it may even forgive you for your offense and start rubbing against your hand.\\nScratch your cat at the base of her tail. Place your fingers on the base of your cat's tail, where the tail and back meet, and wriggle your fingers, gently stretching with your fingertips.\\nStroke your cat's head, back, and chest. Keep in mind, however, that not all cats enjoy being petted in these areas. Watch your cat's body language carefully for any signs of annoyance.\\n2-6. Play with your cat.\\nYour cat could be upset with you because you have not been spending enough time with it. If your cat is more energetic, you could consider playing with it—although most cats would enjoy swatting at a piece of string. Here are some ways you can play with your cat:\\nToss a piece of crumpled up cellophane or paper towards your cat. You can also use a toy mouse instead. Do not throw the toy at it, however. Instead, aim for a spot just before it's paws.\\nDangle a piece of string in front of your cat. Jiggle it and move it slowly back and forth, towards and away from your cat. You can even try running the string across it's paws.\\nPurchase a laser pointer and point the laser on a spot on the wall or the floor. Once your cat is paying attention to the red dot, move the laser around. He may even try running after the laser.\\nPlay with your cat using a cat teaser. A cat teaser is a long, flexible stick with some feathers or string attached to one end. Some teasers also have a bell. Hold the teaser by one end and wave the decorated end near your cat's paws. Gently flick it upward—it may try to jump up to catch it.\\n2-7. Give your cat some attention.\\nIf you have been ignoring your cat lately, you may notice that your cat has become less affectionate than usual. This means that your cat could be upset and lonely. You can apologize to your cat by spending time with it. This could be as simple as reading a book or listening to music next to your cat, or giving him a nice, long petting session. It could also mean that you have to set aside some time to play with your cat.\\n2-8. Praise and compliment your cat.\\nIf you made fun of or laughed at your cat, you may have offended it. Offer your cat a cat treats and tell your cat how wonderful and beautiful it is. Use a soft, gentle tone. Your cat may not necessarily understand your words, but it will know that you are talking to it and saying nice things to it.\\n2-9. Give your cat what he or she wants, within reason.\\nCats can get upset if they don't get what they want. Sometimes, what they want is simple and harmless—such as sitting on that fluffy pillow. Other times, what they want could be harmful, such as a portion of your dinner. Some human foods can be very bad for your cat's health. If what the cat wanted was harmless, you could relent and let your cat have it. If what your cat wanted could be dangerous, then offer your cat something else instead.\\nIf your cat wanted to sit on that fluffy pillow of the couch, let it do it. You could even pick your cat up and set it down on that spot. Give your cat a reassuring stroke or two.\\nIf your cat really wanted that milk or tuna, you should give something else instead. Milk or cream can upset a cat's stomach, and tuna can be dangerous in large amounts due to its high levels of mercury. Consider giving your cat a yummy cat treat instead.\\n3. Making Peace Offerings\\n3-1. Give a treat to your cat.\\nIf your cat is in a more approachable mood, you can try giving him a treat directly. Put three to five cat treats in your hand and kneel down close to the cat. If the cat is ready to forgive you, he will come over to you and eat the treats. At this time, you may try to pet your cat behind the ear (or any other favorite spot). If your cat does not approach you, leave the treats on the floor and step away. Do not take the treats away—this will only disappoint your cat.\\nCat treats come in many different textures, including: soft and chewy, hard and crunchy, crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside, dried meats (sort of like jerky), and freeze-dried. You can even find dried tuna flakes in the cat treat aisle of a pet store.\\nCat treats also come in many different flavors, including chicken, turkey, tuna, and salmon. You can even find catnip-flavored treats.\\nConsider getting a beneficial treat. There are also cat treats that help prevent hairballs and tarter. Not only will you be keeping your cat happy, but you will also be keeping him or her healthy.\\n3-2. Leave a cat treat surprise for your cat.\\nBe sure to leave it in a place you know where he will be able to find it. Here are some examples:\\nIf your cat is hiding under the bed, consider leaving the cat treat just under the bed. Do not leave the treat too far out from under the bed. This will force the cat to craw out from her or her \\\"safe\\\" spot, and will make him or her feel anxious. Do not reach too far under the bed, or the cat may scratch you.\\nIf your cat is really agitated, leave a treat near his food, or in his favorite spot. In fact, if you offended your cat by taking his favorite spot on the couch, you can leave the cat treat in that spot. This will let the cat know that you are sorry and that he can sit in this spot without being kicked off.\\n3-3. Add treats to your cat's food.\\nTake three to five cat treats and place them on top of your cat's food during feeding time. If your cat is picky and does not like treats mixed in with his food, then leave the treats in a dish next to the food.\\n3-4. Treat your cat with some special food.\\nDoes your cat have a favorite flavor of cat food? If you feed your cat different flavors, choose his favorite one, and serve it during feeding time.\\n3-5. Offer some dried cat nip.\\nIf your cat is too agitated, you may be able to get her to calm down with a sprinkle of cat nip on the floor. If you do not like cleaning up messes (some cats will eat the dried catnip while others will just roll around in it), then you can give him or her a catnip toy.\\n3-6. Give your cat a toy.\\nIf your cat is interested in cat toys, you can buy a new toy and give it to her. Simply approach your cat, kneel down, hold the toy out so she can see it. You may leave the toy on the ground and back away, or you can toss the toy. This depends on how your cat likes to play with toys. Keep in mind that not every cat likes to play, especially older ones.\\nYou can make your own catnip toy by cutting a small square from fabric and putting a spoonful of dried catnip in the center. Pull the sides of the fabric upwards, bundling the catnip up inside, and secure it with a piece of string.\\nYou can also make another catnip toy by stuffing a sock with some cotton or polyester stuffing and adding a spoonful of dried catnip. Tie the sock off with some string.\\nTips\\nConsider trying different methods. Some cats do not respond well to playing but love getting attention and cuddled. Others may only forgive you if you give them food.\\nTake note of what you did to offend your cat and don't do it again.\\nGive your cat time and try not to rush things. If your cat is too angry or afraid to be approached, give her time to calm down.\\nWarnings\\nNever slap, yell at, or punish a cat for ignoring you. It will do nothing but make them feel worse.\\nWatch your cat's body language. If you cat appears angry, avoid touching him or her, or you might get scratched.\\nDo not give your cat food from your pantry or fridge as a treat. Most human food is not good for cats.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Oh no! You've done something to deeply offend your cat, and now it won't even let you come near it. Fortunately, it is possible to earn a cat's forgiveness. This article will show you not only how to apologize to your cat, but it will also show you how to do it safely, so that you don't get scratched.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Reading Your Cat's Body Language\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take note of your cat's body language.\", \"描述\": \"It will tell you what sort of mood your cat is in. If your cat is too angry or upset, your apology will mean nothing to him or her and will most likely result in you getting slapped across the face.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Observe the ears.\", \"描述\": \"A cat's ears are very expressive, and will also help you determine how it is feeling. In general, if the ears are up, the cat is happy, and if the ears are down, the cat is not happy. Here are some more detailed guidelines:\\nAre the ears up and in a normal, relaxed position? If so, you can go ahead and try to apologize to your cat.\\nIf the ears are turned back, do not approach your cat. it is deeply offended and angry. Give it some time. it might be feeling scared. You can still approach your cat, but do it slowly and carefully.\\nIf your cats ears are pressed back flat against the skull, it might be feeling scared. You can still approach your cat, but do it slowly and carefully.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Watch the tail.\", \"描述\": \"The tail is the most expressive part of a cat's body, and is a good indicator of your cat's mood. Unlike dogs, cats do not \\\"Wag\\\" their tails when they are happy. Here are some more guidelines:\\nIf the tail is pointing up, with the tip slightly curled to the side, your cat is content and safe to approach.\\nIf the tail is poofed up, your cat is frightened. You may try to approach your cat to calm it down, but do so slowly, and make sure that your cat can run and hide from you. A cornered cat may quickly turn into an aggressive cat.\\nIf your cat is twitching or thumping his tail, then do not approach your cat. it is angry, and probably at you. Give your cat some time before apologizing.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take note of your cat's eyes.\", \"描述\": \"A cat's eyes respond dramatically to changes in light, but they also change according to mood. When looking at your cat's eyes, you will also have to take the lighting into account as well as the rest of the cat's body language. Here are some guidelines:\\nIf a cat's pupil is very large, it may be afraid. It could also mean that it is just dark in the room.\\nIf a cat's pupils are narrow, it may be angry and agitated. It could also mean that the lighting is very bright.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Look at the face.\", \"描述\": \"Are the whiskers pointing forward, teeth bared, and nose wrinkled? If so, your cat is still too angry to feel like being approached by an apologetic human. Try again later.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Look at your cat's body and fur.\", \"描述\": \"Is the fur standing on end? If so, your cat may be frightened or agitated. Is your cat's fur flat against him or her? This means that your cat may be more relaxed; look at your cat's body for other clues to his or her mood, however.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Take note of the claws.\", \"描述\": \"If the claws are extended or tensed, use extreme caution. Cats are fast, and your cat may be preparing to strike.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Apologizing to Your Cat\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determine the offense.\", \"描述\": \"What did you do to make your cat so mad at you? Did you make fun of her? Step on it's tail? Or did you take it's spot on the couch? Knowing what you did wrong will help you decide how to approach your cat. It will also help you decide how to go about apologizing to him or her. Here are some examples of what you might have done to offend your cat and what you could do to show you're sorry:\\nIf you offended your cat by making fun of it, you will probably have to offer some treats and praise.\\nIf you accidentally stepped on your cat's tail or startled her by dropping a pot, a simple cuddle may be all that is needed.\\nIf you took your cat's favorite spot on the couch, consider vacating the spot and giving your cat a treat.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose a good time to apologize.\", \"描述\": \"If your cat is visibly angry, you will need to give it some time before you try to approach it and apologize; approaching too soon may result in getting scratched. Try not to wait too long to apologize, however; instead, approach the cat as soon as it appears calmer. You can also approach a frightened cat, but do so with caution. Refer to the section in this article on reading your cat's body language to learn how to determine your cat's mood.\\nIf your cat keeps running away from you, consider leaving behind a small treat in a place it can find. This will let it know that you are sorry and still care about it.\\nA frightened cat should be approached with care. Always give a frightened cat room to escape. it may actually need comfort and reassurance, especially if there was a loud, sudden sound. At the same time, however, it may want to be alone, which is why leaving an escape route is so important. A frightened, cornered cat may quickly turn aggressive.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Walk slowly to your cat.\", \"描述\": \"If your cat runs away from you, it may be still be angry, upset, or frightened. Do not chase after your cat. Instead, try again a few minutes later. This will reassure your cat that you won't do anything to further harm or annoy it. Having a cat treat ready may also reassure your cat.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Talk to your cat.\", \"描述\": \"Tell it \\\"I'm sorry.\\\" You may even use your cat's name. Make sure that you are using a soft, calm voice, with a slightly higher pitch than usual. Your cat may not necessarily understand your words, but it will understand your tone. Do not use a loud, shrill voice; cats do have sensitive hearing and you will only annoy your cat.\\nConsider blinking slowly. A trusting cat will blink slowly. You can show your cat that you trust it by blinking slowly.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stroke your cat gently in it's favorite spots.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure that you take note of your cat's mood; if your cat appears angry or upset, then do not pet her. Refer to the section in this article on reading your cat's body language to learn how to best determine your cat's mood. If you don't know where your cat likes to be petted, here are some suggestions:\\nScratch your cat behind the ear. An even better place would be to gently stroke the area between your cat's eye and ear. Use the tip of your finger and slowly smooth over the fine hairs there.\\nScratch your cat under the cheek and against the cheek. it may even forgive you for your offense and start rubbing against your hand.\\nScratch your cat at the base of her tail. Place your fingers on the base of your cat's tail, where the tail and back meet, and wriggle your fingers, gently stretching with your fingertips.\\nStroke your cat's head, back, and chest. Keep in mind, however, that not all cats enjoy being petted in these areas. Watch your cat's body language carefully for any signs of annoyance.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Play with your cat.\", \"描述\": \"Your cat could be upset with you because you have not been spending enough time with it. If your cat is more energetic, you could consider playing with it—although most cats would enjoy swatting at a piece of string. Here are some ways you can play with your cat:\\nToss a piece of crumpled up cellophane or paper towards your cat. You can also use a toy mouse instead. Do not throw the toy at it, however. Instead, aim for a spot just before it's paws.\\nDangle a piece of string in front of your cat. Jiggle it and move it slowly back and forth, towards and away from your cat. You can even try running the string across it's paws.\\nPurchase a laser pointer and point the laser on a spot on the wall or the floor. Once your cat is paying attention to the red dot, move the laser around. He may even try running after the laser.\\nPlay with your cat using a cat teaser. A cat teaser is a long, flexible stick with some feathers or string attached to one end. Some teasers also have a bell. Hold the teaser by one end and wave the decorated end near your cat's paws. Gently flick it upward—it may try to jump up to catch it.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Give your cat some attention.\", \"描述\": \"If you have been ignoring your cat lately, you may notice that your cat has become less affectionate than usual. This means that your cat could be upset and lonely. You can apologize to your cat by spending time with it. This could be as simple as reading a book or listening to music next to your cat, or giving him a nice, long petting session. It could also mean that you have to set aside some time to play with your cat.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Praise and compliment your cat.\", \"描述\": \"If you made fun of or laughed at your cat, you may have offended it. Offer your cat a cat treats and tell your cat how wonderful and beautiful it is. Use a soft, gentle tone. Your cat may not necessarily understand your words, but it will know that you are talking to it and saying nice things to it.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Give your cat what he or she wants, within reason.\", \"描述\": \"Cats can get upset if they don't get what they want. Sometimes, what they want is simple and harmless—such as sitting on that fluffy pillow. Other times, what they want could be harmful, such as a portion of your dinner. Some human foods can be very bad for your cat's health. If what the cat wanted was harmless, you could relent and let your cat have it. If what your cat wanted could be dangerous, then offer your cat something else instead.\\nIf your cat wanted to sit on that fluffy pillow of the couch, let it do it. You could even pick your cat up and set it down on that spot. Give your cat a reassuring stroke or two.\\nIf your cat really wanted that milk or tuna, you should give something else instead. Milk or cream can upset a cat's stomach, and tuna can be dangerous in large amounts due to its high levels of mercury. Consider giving your cat a yummy cat treat instead.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Making Peace Offerings\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give a treat to your cat.\", \"描述\": \"If your cat is in a more approachable mood, you can try giving him a treat directly. Put three to five cat treats in your hand and kneel down close to the cat. If the cat is ready to forgive you, he will come over to you and eat the treats. At this time, you may try to pet your cat behind the ear (or any other favorite spot). If your cat does not approach you, leave the treats on the floor and step away. Do not take the treats away—this will only disappoint your cat.\\nCat treats come in many different textures, including: soft and chewy, hard and crunchy, crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside, dried meats (sort of like jerky), and freeze-dried. You can even find dried tuna flakes in the cat treat aisle of a pet store.\\nCat treats also come in many different flavors, including chicken, turkey, tuna, and salmon. You can even find catnip-flavored treats.\\nConsider getting a beneficial treat. There are also cat treats that help prevent hairballs and tarter. Not only will you be keeping your cat happy, but you will also be keeping him or her healthy.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Leave a cat treat surprise for your cat.\", \"描述\": \"Be sure to leave it in a place you know where he will be able to find it. Here are some examples:\\nIf your cat is hiding under the bed, consider leaving the cat treat just under the bed. Do not leave the treat too far out from under the bed. This will force the cat to craw out from her or her \\\"safe\\\" spot, and will make him or her feel anxious. Do not reach too far under the bed, or the cat may scratch you.\\nIf your cat is really agitated, leave a treat near his food, or in his favorite spot. In fact, if you offended your cat by taking his favorite spot on the couch, you can leave the cat treat in that spot. This will let the cat know that you are sorry and that he can sit in this spot without being kicked off.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Add treats to your cat's food.\", \"描述\": \"Take three to five cat treats and place them on top of your cat's food during feeding time. If your cat is picky and does not like treats mixed in with his food, then leave the treats in a dish next to the food.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Treat your cat with some special food.\", \"描述\": \"Does your cat have a favorite flavor of cat food? If you feed your cat different flavors, choose his favorite one, and serve it during feeding time.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Offer some dried cat nip.\", \"描述\": \"If your cat is too agitated, you may be able to get her to calm down with a sprinkle of cat nip on the floor. If you do not like cleaning up messes (some cats will eat the dried catnip while others will just roll around in it), then you can give him or her a catnip toy.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Give your cat a toy.\", \"描述\": \"If your cat is interested in cat toys, you can buy a new toy and give it to her. Simply approach your cat, kneel down, hold the toy out so she can see it. You may leave the toy on the ground and back away, or you can toss the toy. This depends on how your cat likes to play with toys. Keep in mind that not every cat likes to play, especially older ones.\\nYou can make your own catnip toy by cutting a small square from fabric and putting a spoonful of dried catnip in the center. Pull the sides of the fabric upwards, bundling the catnip up inside, and secure it with a piece of string.\\nYou can also make another catnip toy by stuffing a sock with some cotton or polyester stuffing and adding a spoonful of dried catnip. Tie the sock off with some string.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Consider trying different methods. Some cats do not respond well to playing but love getting attention and cuddled. Others may only forgive you if you give them food.\\n\", \"Take note of what you did to offend your cat and don't do it again.\\n\", \"Give your cat time and try not to rush things. If your cat is too angry or afraid to be approached, give her time to calm down.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Never slap, yell at, or punish a cat for ignoring you. It will do nothing but make them feel worse.\\n\", \"Watch your cat's body language. If you cat appears angry, avoid touching him or her, or you might get scratched.\\n\", \"Do not give your cat food from your pantry or fridge as a treat. Most human food is not good for cats.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,797 | How to Apologize to a Friend | 1. Roadmapping a Real Apology
1-1. Accept full responsibility for the events.
If you really want to apologize to your friend, then you have to accept full responsibility for what you have done to him or her. If you don't think you should really apologize, are mad at your friend for doing something else, or think that your friend is overreacting and being dramatic, then don't even bother. You either apologize fully or you don't apologize at all -- got it?
Say something like, "I know I really let you down when I didn't go to your birthday party. I know how much it meant to you."
You can also say, "I am so sorry that I kissed your crush last week. I don't know what I was thinking, and I've been kicking myself over it ever since. Your friendship means way more to me than a dumb boy."
If you're making excuses during your apology, you're a bad friend. End of story. Don't say, "I'm sorry that I didn't go to your party, but..." Giving an excuse for what you did is worse than not apologizing at all because it implies you're not really that sorry.
1-2. Say you're sorry.
That's right. This is the most important part. Suck it up and spit it out. Say, "I'm really sorry that I did that." Or, "I'm really sorry that I..." Make it clear that you are sorry about something that you've done to hurt your friend. This may be the hardest task, so take a deep breath, make eye contact with your friend, and say that you are really sorry.
Don't say something like, "I'm sorry that you were so upset..." This is some terrible, passive aggressive crap that basically blames them, not you. Like making excuses, it makes you a bad friend.
1-3. Apologize for how you've made your friend feel.
After you accept responsibility for what you've done and have said that you were sorry, you have to acknowledge that you really hurt your friend. Show them that you're aware of how you have made your friend feel. This will make your friend see that you have put a lot of thought and effort into considering every angle of what you've done and that you feel really terrible about your actions.
Say something like, "I can't imagine how disappointed you were when I didn't show up to your birthday party. You have been planning it for such a long time and I know you wanted it to be perfect."
Or, "I know you were incredibly hurt when I kissed Collin. You have had a crush on him for months and must have been heartbroken."
1-4. Tell them their friendship is more important than your pride or faults.
Let your friend see that your friendship is more important than anything else in the world and that you know you need to redefine your priorities in the future. Your friend should see that whatever you did wasn't worth it and that you wish that you could start over and put your friend first in mind instead. Be humble and honest. This isn't the time for lame half-truths like, "you know I'm your friend." This is the time for "I'm your friend, but I didn't act like it. I will from here on out."
Say, "I missed your birthday party. I shouldn't have done that. I made a commitment to you and dropped it, but I won't take my promises so lightly again."
Say, "I can't believe what I did with Collin. He means nothing to me and you mean everything to me. Our friendship is more important to me than any romantic relationship."
1-5. Find a way to make it up to them.
Again, don't try and buy them out with fancy things. Things don't create friendships, conversations do. Take them out for dinner, make plans to hang out soon, and return to friendship. This is your friend, and it shouldn't be hard to make time for them if you really care about their feelings.
Say, "I'll never flake on you again. I won't leave you high and dry in the future. When I say I'll be somewhere, I'll be there. Let me take you out to a private birthday party at the movies/dinner/the park/laser tag/etc."
Say, "I'll never try to even flirt with someone you have a crush on. I know how much your crushes mean to you and I won't interfere with your romantic life again."
1-6. Ask for forgiveness.
After you've said all of the things you've had to say, ask your friend, "Will you forgive me?" Hopefully, your friend will see how much your friendship means to you and will forgive you right away. Then you can hug, show how happy you are, and be relieved that you made it through the apology. And if your friend needs a little more time and won't forgive you, at least you can tell yourself that you tried. There is little more you can do than offer a sincere apology. If they don't take it, that is on them, not you, and you shouldn't keep pushing them to forgive you -- it won't work.
A simple "Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?" will mean the world.
No one likes asking for forgiveness, that's what makes it so meaningful when you do! Don't skip this step just because you're too proud -- it's important.
2. Showing Sincere Remorse
2-1. Always apologize in person -- it means so much more.
Unless you and your friend live far away from each other, your best bet is to apologize in person. Anything else could be considered lame, and make you look like a lame friend. Sending flowers or gifts is okay, but if you do this kind of thing instead of talking to your friend face to face then you're just hiding behind gifts. And flowers aren't going to pipe up and say "I'm sorry." If you want your apology to sound sincere, then no expensive gift or ornate bouquet is going to beat a face-to-face meeting.
If your friend is really far away, then call or Skype them. It's not perfect, but it is way better than ignoring things until you see each other again.
2-2. Let tension and tempers die down before moving in with an apology.
Is it pretty minor, like not showing up to your friend's party when you said you would, or is it something serious, like hooking up with your friend's boyfriend? If it's minor, then you should act fast and apologize to your friend as soon as you both have some free time. Just get it done with. If your friend needs some time for her wounds to heal, then give her a few days to calm down -- your apology isn't going to mean much if they want to beat the crap out of you whenever they see you talking.
You should know your friend better than most people. Is he or she the kind of person who needs a lot of time to cool off, or who forgives pretty easily? How bad was it last time you hung out?
If you know your friend is going to be under an incredible amount of stress or is dealing with something personal, then just chill out and hold on. Your apology, remember, is about them, not about you.
2-3. Know what exactly you're apologizing for instead of just lobbing out a generic "sorry.
Apologies should be heartfelt. But they should also tick off the following boxes:
Taking full responsibility for what you've done.
Noticing how it's made the other person feel.
Including the words "I'm sorry."
Showing how grateful you are for the friendship.
Planning to make things up or be better next time.
2-4. Own up and apologize, not matter how hard it seems.
When you find that it's time to apologize, don't dilly dally and wait for your friend to approach you. If your friend approaches you about what you've done, then you already run the risk of looking like a wimp or a bad friend, so strike while the iron is hot (but when your friend has cooled off). Make apologizing to your friend a priority. If you don't care about doing it quickly, why do you even want to apologize?
Apologies can be hard. But they're necessary. Get over your fears and pride and remember that you hurt someone you love.
3. Making Little Apologies
3-1. Write a letter to your friend saying sorry.
When writing you letter, make sure it's sincere and apologetic. This could also be a good idea if they're too angry to see you in person. Make sure, however, that you write that you want to see them in person -- don't hide behind a letter or an email. You have to do this face to face sooner or later.
3-2. Send flowers.
This is a more dramatic peace offering, but it can help make your friend feel better and like you've really made an effort. Include a small card that also says your sorry so your friend feels more special. Not everyone will be impressed, though, and this can be seen as your attempt to cover up something you did. The workaround? Don't let it be a cover up -- you still need to see them in person!
3-3. Apologize to your friend over the phone.
If you and your friend live far apart, then the best way to apologize may be over the phone. Just call your friend, be sincere, and do the same things you would do in person: accept responsibility, apologize, promise to never do it again, ask for forgiveness, etc. This may be a little harder because it'll be more challenging to read your friend and see how he or she is actually feeling.
Stay on the line when you're done, letting the conversation turn to other topics, like old friends would.
Don't apologize over voicemail -- it is just tacky and insincere.
If they don't call you back, too bad. They're not ready for the apology, and you need to go in person.
3-4. Never say sorry over txt or FB.
If you're really sorry for something you've done, then sending a text message or Facebook message just isn't going to cut it. This is pretty impersonal and doesn't show much effort on your part. Sure, it's harder to suck it up and call the person or talk to him or her face to face, but this shows that you actually care about the friendship. Apologies are about you being sorry for your mistakes -- it is your job, therefore, to go apologize in person like a grown man or woman would.
Tips
Give some time for your friend to think about it.
Be 100% honest when apologizing to your friend. Even if you don't think you did anything wrong, you should still apologize because it should make your friend a lot happier and doesn't make it sound like you're blaming them. If they forgive you that great. You've got a friend back but if not accept it and move on. It's on them not you. Give it time.
Show emotion, emotion tells others how you feel.
Warnings
Don't assume you both will make up just like that. It might take some time.
Words and even peace offerings are cheap. The offended is likely to be "once bitten, twice shy" and remain unconvinced until you show by doing. Demonstrating change through action is more trustworthy. It is also forward-looking.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:10",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Roadmapping a Real Apology\\n1-1. Accept full responsibility for the events.\\nIf you really want to apologize to your friend, then you have to accept full responsibility for what you have done to him or her. If you don't think you should really apologize, are mad at your friend for doing something else, or think that your friend is overreacting and being dramatic, then don't even bother. You either apologize fully or you don't apologize at all -- got it? \\nSay something like, \\\"I know I really let you down when I didn't go to your birthday party. I know how much it meant to you.\\\"\\nYou can also say, \\\"I am so sorry that I kissed your crush last week. I don't know what I was thinking, and I've been kicking myself over it ever since. Your friendship means way more to me than a dumb boy.\\\"\\nIf you're making excuses during your apology, you're a bad friend. End of story. Don't say, \\\"I'm sorry that I didn't go to your party, but...\\\" Giving an excuse for what you did is worse than not apologizing at all because it implies you're not really that sorry.\\n1-2. Say you're sorry.\\nThat's right. This is the most important part. Suck it up and spit it out. Say, \\\"I'm really sorry that I did that.\\\" Or, \\\"I'm really sorry that I...\\\" Make it clear that you are sorry about something that you've done to hurt your friend. This may be the hardest task, so take a deep breath, make eye contact with your friend, and say that you are really sorry.\\nDon't say something like, \\\"I'm sorry that you were so upset...\\\" This is some terrible, passive aggressive crap that basically blames them, not you. Like making excuses, it makes you a bad friend.\\n1-3. Apologize for how you've made your friend feel.\\nAfter you accept responsibility for what you've done and have said that you were sorry, you have to acknowledge that you really hurt your friend. Show them that you're aware of how you have made your friend feel. This will make your friend see that you have put a lot of thought and effort into considering every angle of what you've done and that you feel really terrible about your actions.\\nSay something like, \\\"I can't imagine how disappointed you were when I didn't show up to your birthday party. You have been planning it for such a long time and I know you wanted it to be perfect.\\\"\\nOr, \\\"I know you were incredibly hurt when I kissed Collin. You have had a crush on him for months and must have been heartbroken.\\\"\\n1-4. Tell them their friendship is more important than your pride or faults.\\nLet your friend see that your friendship is more important than anything else in the world and that you know you need to redefine your priorities in the future. Your friend should see that whatever you did wasn't worth it and that you wish that you could start over and put your friend first in mind instead. Be humble and honest. This isn't the time for lame half-truths like, \\\"you know I'm your friend.\\\" This is the time for \\\"I'm your friend, but I didn't act like it. I will from here on out.\\\"\\nSay, \\\"I missed your birthday party. I shouldn't have done that. I made a commitment to you and dropped it, but I won't take my promises so lightly again.\\\"\\nSay, \\\"I can't believe what I did with Collin. He means nothing to me and you mean everything to me. Our friendship is more important to me than any romantic relationship.\\\"\\n1-5. Find a way to make it up to them.\\nAgain, don't try and buy them out with fancy things. Things don't create friendships, conversations do. Take them out for dinner, make plans to hang out soon, and return to friendship. This is your friend, and it shouldn't be hard to make time for them if you really care about their feelings.\\nSay, \\\"I'll never flake on you again. I won't leave you high and dry in the future. When I say I'll be somewhere, I'll be there. Let me take you out to a private birthday party at the movies/dinner/the park/laser tag/etc.\\\"\\nSay, \\\"I'll never try to even flirt with someone you have a crush on. I know how much your crushes mean to you and I won't interfere with your romantic life again.\\\"\\n1-6. Ask for forgiveness.\\nAfter you've said all of the things you've had to say, ask your friend, \\\"Will you forgive me?\\\" Hopefully, your friend will see how much your friendship means to you and will forgive you right away. Then you can hug, show how happy you are, and be relieved that you made it through the apology. And if your friend needs a little more time and won't forgive you, at least you can tell yourself that you tried. There is little more you can do than offer a sincere apology. If they don't take it, that is on them, not you, and you shouldn't keep pushing them to forgive you -- it won't work.\\nA simple \\\"Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?\\\" will mean the world.\\nNo one likes asking for forgiveness, that's what makes it so meaningful when you do! Don't skip this step just because you're too proud -- it's important.\\n2. Showing Sincere Remorse\\n2-1. Always apologize in person -- it means so much more.\\nUnless you and your friend live far away from each other, your best bet is to apologize in person. Anything else could be considered lame, and make you look like a lame friend. Sending flowers or gifts is okay, but if you do this kind of thing instead of talking to your friend face to face then you're just hiding behind gifts. And flowers aren't going to pipe up and say \\\"I'm sorry.\\\" If you want your apology to sound sincere, then no expensive gift or ornate bouquet is going to beat a face-to-face meeting.\\nIf your friend is really far away, then call or Skype them. It's not perfect, but it is way better than ignoring things until you see each other again.\\n2-2. Let tension and tempers die down before moving in with an apology.\\nIs it pretty minor, like not showing up to your friend's party when you said you would, or is it something serious, like hooking up with your friend's boyfriend? If it's minor, then you should act fast and apologize to your friend as soon as you both have some free time. Just get it done with. If your friend needs some time for her wounds to heal, then give her a few days to calm down -- your apology isn't going to mean much if they want to beat the crap out of you whenever they see you talking.\\nYou should know your friend better than most people. Is he or she the kind of person who needs a lot of time to cool off, or who forgives pretty easily? How bad was it last time you hung out?\\nIf you know your friend is going to be under an incredible amount of stress or is dealing with something personal, then just chill out and hold on. Your apology, remember, is about them, not about you.\\n2-3. Know what exactly you're apologizing for instead of just lobbing out a generic \\\"sorry.\\nApologies should be heartfelt. But they should also tick off the following boxes:\\nTaking full responsibility for what you've done.\\nNoticing how it's made the other person feel.\\nIncluding the words \\\"I'm sorry.\\\"\\nShowing how grateful you are for the friendship.\\nPlanning to make things up or be better next time.\\n2-4. Own up and apologize, not matter how hard it seems.\\nWhen you find that it's time to apologize, don't dilly dally and wait for your friend to approach you. If your friend approaches you about what you've done, then you already run the risk of looking like a wimp or a bad friend, so strike while the iron is hot (but when your friend has cooled off). Make apologizing to your friend a priority. If you don't care about doing it quickly, why do you even want to apologize?\\nApologies can be hard. But they're necessary. Get over your fears and pride and remember that you hurt someone you love.\\n3. Making Little Apologies\\n3-1. Write a letter to your friend saying sorry.\\nWhen writing you letter, make sure it's sincere and apologetic. This could also be a good idea if they're too angry to see you in person. Make sure, however, that you write that you want to see them in person -- don't hide behind a letter or an email. You have to do this face to face sooner or later.\\n3-2. Send flowers.\\nThis is a more dramatic peace offering, but it can help make your friend feel better and like you've really made an effort. Include a small card that also says your sorry so your friend feels more special. Not everyone will be impressed, though, and this can be seen as your attempt to cover up something you did. The workaround? Don't let it be a cover up -- you still need to see them in person!\\n3-3. Apologize to your friend over the phone.\\nIf you and your friend live far apart, then the best way to apologize may be over the phone. Just call your friend, be sincere, and do the same things you would do in person: accept responsibility, apologize, promise to never do it again, ask for forgiveness, etc. This may be a little harder because it'll be more challenging to read your friend and see how he or she is actually feeling.\\nStay on the line when you're done, letting the conversation turn to other topics, like old friends would.\\nDon't apologize over voicemail -- it is just tacky and insincere.\\nIf they don't call you back, too bad. They're not ready for the apology, and you need to go in person.\\n3-4. Never say sorry over txt or FB.\\nIf you're really sorry for something you've done, then sending a text message or Facebook message just isn't going to cut it. This is pretty impersonal and doesn't show much effort on your part. Sure, it's harder to suck it up and call the person or talk to him or her face to face, but this shows that you actually care about the friendship. Apologies are about you being sorry for your mistakes -- it is your job, therefore, to go apologize in person like a grown man or woman would.\\nTips\\nGive some time for your friend to think about it.\\nBe 100% honest when apologizing to your friend. Even if you don't think you did anything wrong, you should still apologize because it should make your friend a lot happier and doesn't make it sound like you're blaming them. If they forgive you that great. You've got a friend back but if not accept it and move on. It's on them not you. Give it time.\\nShow emotion, emotion tells others how you feel.\\nWarnings\\nDon't assume you both will make up just like that. It might take some time.\\nWords and even peace offerings are cheap. The offended is likely to be \\\"once bitten, twice shy\\\" and remain unconvinced until you show by doing. Demonstrating change through action is more trustworthy. It is also forward-looking.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Apologizing to your friend can be even harder than realizing you've acted poorly. To truly apologize to a friend, you have to be sincere, admit your mistakes, and let your friend know how much he or she means to you. This may sound easier said than done, but if you swallow your pride and show some real remorse you'll have a true apology ready. (cry if it helps)\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Roadmapping a Real Apology\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accept full responsibility for the events.\", \"描述\": \"If you really want to apologize to your friend, then you have to accept full responsibility for what you have done to him or her. If you don't think you should really apologize, are mad at your friend for doing something else, or think that your friend is overreacting and being dramatic, then don't even bother. You either apologize fully or you don't apologize at all -- got it? \\nSay something like, \\\"I know I really let you down when I didn't go to your birthday party. I know how much it meant to you.\\\"\\nYou can also say, \\\"I am so sorry that I kissed your crush last week. I don't know what I was thinking, and I've been kicking myself over it ever since. Your friendship means way more to me than a dumb boy.\\\"\\nIf you're making excuses during your apology, you're a bad friend. End of story. Don't say, \\\"I'm sorry that I didn't go to your party, but...\\\" Giving an excuse for what you did is worse than not apologizing at all because it implies you're not really that sorry.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Say you're sorry.\", \"描述\": \"That's right. This is the most important part. Suck it up and spit it out. Say, \\\"I'm really sorry that I did that.\\\" Or, \\\"I'm really sorry that I...\\\" Make it clear that you are sorry about something that you've done to hurt your friend. This may be the hardest task, so take a deep breath, make eye contact with your friend, and say that you are really sorry.\\nDon't say something like, \\\"I'm sorry that you were so upset...\\\" This is some terrible, passive aggressive crap that basically blames them, not you. Like making excuses, it makes you a bad friend.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Apologize for how you've made your friend feel.\", \"描述\": \"After you accept responsibility for what you've done and have said that you were sorry, you have to acknowledge that you really hurt your friend. Show them that you're aware of how you have made your friend feel. This will make your friend see that you have put a lot of thought and effort into considering every angle of what you've done and that you feel really terrible about your actions.\\nSay something like, \\\"I can't imagine how disappointed you were when I didn't show up to your birthday party. You have been planning it for such a long time and I know you wanted it to be perfect.\\\"\\nOr, \\\"I know you were incredibly hurt when I kissed Collin. You have had a crush on him for months and must have been heartbroken.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tell them their friendship is more important than your pride or faults.\", \"描述\": \"Let your friend see that your friendship is more important than anything else in the world and that you know you need to redefine your priorities in the future. Your friend should see that whatever you did wasn't worth it and that you wish that you could start over and put your friend first in mind instead. Be humble and honest. This isn't the time for lame half-truths like, \\\"you know I'm your friend.\\\" This is the time for \\\"I'm your friend, but I didn't act like it. I will from here on out.\\\"\\nSay, \\\"I missed your birthday party. I shouldn't have done that. I made a commitment to you and dropped it, but I won't take my promises so lightly again.\\\"\\nSay, \\\"I can't believe what I did with Collin. He means nothing to me and you mean everything to me. Our friendship is more important to me than any romantic relationship.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Find a way to make it up to them.\", \"描述\": \"Again, don't try and buy them out with fancy things. Things don't create friendships, conversations do. Take them out for dinner, make plans to hang out soon, and return to friendship. This is your friend, and it shouldn't be hard to make time for them if you really care about their feelings.\\nSay, \\\"I'll never flake on you again. I won't leave you high and dry in the future. When I say I'll be somewhere, I'll be there. Let me take you out to a private birthday party at the movies/dinner/the park/laser tag/etc.\\\"\\nSay, \\\"I'll never try to even flirt with someone you have a crush on. I know how much your crushes mean to you and I won't interfere with your romantic life again.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask for forgiveness.\", \"描述\": \"After you've said all of the things you've had to say, ask your friend, \\\"Will you forgive me?\\\" Hopefully, your friend will see how much your friendship means to you and will forgive you right away. Then you can hug, show how happy you are, and be relieved that you made it through the apology. And if your friend needs a little more time and won't forgive you, at least you can tell yourself that you tried. There is little more you can do than offer a sincere apology. If they don't take it, that is on them, not you, and you shouldn't keep pushing them to forgive you -- it won't work.\\nA simple \\\"Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?\\\" will mean the world.\\nNo one likes asking for forgiveness, that's what makes it so meaningful when you do! Don't skip this step just because you're too proud -- it's important.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Showing Sincere Remorse\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Always apologize in person -- it means so much more.\", \"描述\": \"Unless you and your friend live far away from each other, your best bet is to apologize in person. Anything else could be considered lame, and make you look like a lame friend. Sending flowers or gifts is okay, but if you do this kind of thing instead of talking to your friend face to face then you're just hiding behind gifts. And flowers aren't going to pipe up and say \\\"I'm sorry.\\\" If you want your apology to sound sincere, then no expensive gift or ornate bouquet is going to beat a face-to-face meeting.\\nIf your friend is really far away, then call or Skype them. It's not perfect, but it is way better than ignoring things until you see each other again.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Let tension and tempers die down before moving in with an apology.\", \"描述\": \"Is it pretty minor, like not showing up to your friend's party when you said you would, or is it something serious, like hooking up with your friend's boyfriend? If it's minor, then you should act fast and apologize to your friend as soon as you both have some free time. Just get it done with. If your friend needs some time for her wounds to heal, then give her a few days to calm down -- your apology isn't going to mean much if they want to beat the crap out of you whenever they see you talking.\\nYou should know your friend better than most people. Is he or she the kind of person who needs a lot of time to cool off, or who forgives pretty easily? How bad was it last time you hung out?\\nIf you know your friend is going to be under an incredible amount of stress or is dealing with something personal, then just chill out and hold on. Your apology, remember, is about them, not about you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Know what exactly you're apologizing for instead of just lobbing out a generic \\\"sorry.\", \"描述\": \"Apologies should be heartfelt. But they should also tick off the following boxes:\\nTaking full responsibility for what you've done.\\nNoticing how it's made the other person feel.\\nIncluding the words \\\"I'm sorry.\\\"\\nShowing how grateful you are for the friendship.\\nPlanning to make things up or be better next time.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Own up and apologize, not matter how hard it seems.\", \"描述\": \"When you find that it's time to apologize, don't dilly dally and wait for your friend to approach you. If your friend approaches you about what you've done, then you already run the risk of looking like a wimp or a bad friend, so strike while the iron is hot (but when your friend has cooled off). Make apologizing to your friend a priority. If you don't care about doing it quickly, why do you even want to apologize?\\nApologies can be hard. But they're necessary. Get over your fears and pride and remember that you hurt someone you love.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Making Little Apologies\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Write a letter to your friend saying sorry.\", \"描述\": \"When writing you letter, make sure it's sincere and apologetic. This could also be a good idea if they're too angry to see you in person. Make sure, however, that you write that you want to see them in person -- don't hide behind a letter or an email. You have to do this face to face sooner or later.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Send flowers.\", \"描述\": \"This is a more dramatic peace offering, but it can help make your friend feel better and like you've really made an effort. Include a small card that also says your sorry so your friend feels more special. Not everyone will be impressed, though, and this can be seen as your attempt to cover up something you did. The workaround? Don't let it be a cover up -- you still need to see them in person!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Apologize to your friend over the phone.\", \"描述\": \"If you and your friend live far apart, then the best way to apologize may be over the phone. Just call your friend, be sincere, and do the same things you would do in person: accept responsibility, apologize, promise to never do it again, ask for forgiveness, etc. This may be a little harder because it'll be more challenging to read your friend and see how he or she is actually feeling.\\nStay on the line when you're done, letting the conversation turn to other topics, like old friends would.\\nDon't apologize over voicemail -- it is just tacky and insincere.\\nIf they don't call you back, too bad. They're not ready for the apology, and you need to go in person.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Never say sorry over txt or FB.\", \"描述\": \"If you're really sorry for something you've done, then sending a text message or Facebook message just isn't going to cut it. This is pretty impersonal and doesn't show much effort on your part. Sure, it's harder to suck it up and call the person or talk to him or her face to face, but this shows that you actually care about the friendship. Apologies are about you being sorry for your mistakes -- it is your job, therefore, to go apologize in person like a grown man or woman would.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Give some time for your friend to think about it.\\n\", \"Be 100% honest when apologizing to your friend. Even if you don't think you did anything wrong, you should still apologize because it should make your friend a lot happier and doesn't make it sound like you're blaming them. If they forgive you that great. You've got a friend back but if not accept it and move on. It's on them not you. Give it time.\\n\", \"Show emotion, emotion tells others how you feel.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't assume you both will make up just like that. It might take some time.\\n\", \"Words and even peace offerings are cheap. The offended is likely to be \\\"once bitten, twice shy\\\" and remain unconvinced until you show by doing. Demonstrating change through action is more trustworthy. It is also forward-looking.\\n\"]}]}}",
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} | wikihow |
1,798 | How to Apologize to a Girl | 1. Preparing Psychologically
1-1. Acknowledge apologizing as a way to move forward.
No matter why you are apologizing, remember that the goal is to make up with the girl and improve your relationship. At its core, an apology is an emotional concession that can have great returns if properly and sincerely delivered.
It has been found consistently in studies that men have a far more difficult time of apologizing than women. If you count yourself among those who find difficulty in apologizing, approaching the act as a purely practical manoeuvre (at least at first) can help you get over that first hump.
1-2. Give yourself time to relax.
If you need to make an apology to a girl, then you are probably dealing with some pain as well. If you recognize that you're not feeling good at the moment, you should see first things first and give yourself time to heal. Depending on how bad the situation is, this could mean minutes, hours or days.
Don't let yourself put the apology off too long, however. Being silent long enough will be interpreted as a non-apology; that you aren't sorry and don't want to have anything to do with her. Again, interpretation of what is considered 'too long' will depend on the severity of the situation, and the strength of the relationship.
1-3. Understand why she is upset.
Apologizing without meaning it or knowing why can make things worse than if you simply kept your mouth shut. If you rush into an apology, the woman will detect you're not being honest. Before you apologize, it's important you take a moment to stop and reflect. Why is she upset? Are the possibly other factors that are playing into her mood? How serious is the problem?
Put yourself in the woman's shoes for a moment. While you should be considering the way she is feeling, you should also imagine the way your actions have been interpreted by her in turn. If your apology is because of a certain thing that happened, try playing it out in your head. From there, regardless of who is to blame, you should have a better grasp why she is upset.
Keep in mind that empathizing with why she is upset is distinct from necessarily admitting guilt. Even if you don't think you have done anything wrong per se, a healthy relationship involves recognizing where the other person is coming from. Even if you think at first her reasons for feeling this way are unjustified or even irrational, it's important to recognize that the pain is real.
1-4. Be sincere with your apology.
If the problem in question is severe enough, a woman will be analyzing your delivery for any possible signs of fakeness. The best way to ensure your apology is received as you want it is to make sure you actually mean it. If you think you'll need to grit your teeth as you apologize, it's a good idea to hold off and reflect upon the apology some more, or do without one altogether.
You may be very angry for the same reasons as the girl. This will make it hard to open yourself up to her. If this is the case, give yourself some more time to relax and breathe.
2. Apologizing Verbally
2-1. Wait for the right time to apologize The art of apologizing has partly to do with the right timing.
You would never want someone to apologize to you if you were in the middle of watching a movie, much less cramming the night before a big exam. Rather, you should bide your time (within reason, mind you) and wait for an opportunity where the girl is free and relatively relaxed.
Again, you won't want to wait too long before going in for your apology. If you wait too long, it may be considered by the girl as a conscious decision on your part not to apologize.
2-2. Approach her solemnly.
The way you approach a girl to apologize in person will have a big influence on whether or not the apology is accepted. Approach her quietly and calmly. Don't let yourself be distracted by anything else; your apology should have your whole attention. As you approach, make sure to make steady eye contact. Don't smile too much or act too loosely; you want to tell her with your body language that you acknowledge the seriousness of the situation.
The question of approach is easier if you are apologizing over a text message or the phone, though you should keep in mind that an apology will only be at its most effective and affirmative if it's done in person.
If you're not in a position where you'll be able to run into her easily, ask her to meet up. Keep your invitation simple and to the point, but give her reason to believe the reason you're meeting is to give you a chance to apologize. If she's too angry at the moment, give her some time; hopefully she'll come around and give you an opportunity to fess up.
2-3. Tell her you're sorry.
Before you go into anything else, you should let her know from the start that you're sorry. If you try to explain why you're sorry before she actually knows you're apologizing, she may interpret it as an invitation to argue. Once you've approached her, take no time to let her know you're sorry. Any explaining can wait until after you've made the basic point. Being straightforward sounds easy on paper, but when there are emotions flaring up from both sides, it can be hard to see it through all the way. Don't let yourself get too worked up over it; if need be, remind yourself that this is a step in a process towards reclaiming your connection.
Your apology need not be elaborate; in fact, it's probably best that you keep it in as simple terms as possible. No need to be poetic or calculated here; just say "I'm sorry." The more complicated you get, the higher chance there will be that the apology will be misconstrued as something else.
2-4. Express empathy.
Something as simple as "I'm sorry" will go a farther ways than you think, but it won't be enough for the more serious things. Once you've opened up the conversation like that, it's time to go into greater details as to why you are sorry and how you understand the way she's feeling. If it develops into a more balanced conversation and the blame wasn't one-sided, you might take the opportunity to express some of your own feelings as part of the healing process, but only once you know the apology's been accepted.
For example, as a general template, you might say: "I'm really sorry for what I did. I was being really selfish at the time, and the way I see it's affected you has made me realize just how bad it was. I know I can't undo what happened, but I want you to know that I wish I could take it back, and I won't let it happen again."
2-5. Allow her a chance to respond.
Petty grievances probably aren't worth fussing over too much but more serious issues will probably beget a response to your apology. Once you've laid your cards all on the table, it may come time for her to tell you how she feels. Look her in the eyes, remain calm whatever you do, and process everything she says. Even if what she says makes you angry, try to empathize with her; she may still be feeling angry from what happened, and this may color the way she reacts towards you in a less-than-pleasant manner.
2-6. Hug her.
A verbal apology is often best accompanied by some sort of physical affirmation. Regardless of the specific type of relationship you're in, a hug is almost always appropriate. Hugging at the end of your apology will give the woman a physical show of how you feel, and her acceptance of your hug will offer some closure to the both of you.
2-7. Take steps to prevent future incidents.
An apology is just words if it isn't taken to heart. If you are apologizing for something you did, work on preventing it in the future. Doing things to fix the problem at hand has two benefits; first, it will practically reduce the chances of the situation happening again, and second, she will see you putting your apology into tangible actions. If you make a habit of rinsing yourself of apologies once you make them, you'll have a much harder time getting your apologies accepted in the future.
For instance, if you are apologizing for being late all the time, set your alarm ten minutes earlier than you usually do. This will make your actions more prompt, thus reducing the risk of being late again. Letting the girl know the steps you've taken will prove to her that your apology was sincere.
3. Apologizing Non-Verbally
3-1. Write an apology letter.
Handwritten apologies are the best non-verbal way to apologize. The length and tone of your message will depend largely on the severity and cause of the message. Forgetting a birthday is a far different matter than abuse or infidelity, for example. What is important, however, is that you write from the heart. Do away with the pretense of formal letter writing; write what you're feeling, and let the girl know you are sorry within the first two sentences.
Including a heart at the bottom denotes warmth and may be appropriate if you're in a romantic relationship with the girl.
Writing it by hand is important in this case. An apology letter is nothing if it isn't backed by a personal touch and vulnerability. It's much easier to mask emotions over a computer. However, for small matters a quick email or instant message can work as well.
3-2. Make amends through positive action.
If you've done something to hurt the girl's feelings, doing something to make her feel good in consequence is a good way to make up for past faults. The way you go about making up to her is as potentially diverse and unique as the relationship itself. If you can think of some things the girl is interested in, you should think of those as potential opportunities to set things right. If you can't think of anything specific, there are few women out there who don't appreciate having back massages or dinner being made for them. It doesn't need to be anything too elaborate; a simple gesture can say a lot about the way someone is feeling.
3-3. Make a donation in her name.
A more formal way of apologizing to a woman could take the shape of a donation in their name. Although this probably only suits less severe or personal issues, an apology can in fact have greater weight when a dollar sign is attached to it. Of course, giving someone money would make it feel like a dirty bribe, so making a donation to a charity will carry the good intention without any of the foul undertones.
Donations, however small, should be accompanied with a specific statement why you're making it. Explain to the girl that you're making this donation as a way to affect positive change in the world from your apology, giving the fight you had an altruistic benefit for the world. Charity helps the world and is near-impossible to argue with.
Tips
If you cheated on the girl, it's not going to be easy at all, so make sure everything is perfect, just how she wants it, before apologizing SINCERELY. Put yourself in her place, and feel the hurt THAT YOU caused her.
Although this article is broken into verbal and non-verbal categories, often the most effective and heartfelt apologies will combine the two. Especially if a relationship is romantic, words will not be felt as fiercely alone as when they're backed up with action; the same goes vice-versa.
In the end, your greatest asset in apologizing will be the simple two words: "I'm sorry." A lot of the time, it doesn't take any more than that, so long as it's sincere.
Warnings
There's never a guarantee that your apology will be accepted. If you're rejected for whatever reason, it may be because you didn't give her enough time to calm down. In worst case, bridges with her may have been burned permanently. If this happens, do your best to cope with the loss of that person in your life, and try to learn from the experience. Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes, and you may be able to use the experience to make sure similar things don't happen in the future.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:10",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing Psychologically\\n1-1. Acknowledge apologizing as a way to move forward.\\nNo matter why you are apologizing, remember that the goal is to make up with the girl and improve your relationship. At its core, an apology is an emotional concession that can have great returns if properly and sincerely delivered.\\nIt has been found consistently in studies that men have a far more difficult time of apologizing than women. If you count yourself among those who find difficulty in apologizing, approaching the act as a purely practical manoeuvre (at least at first) can help you get over that first hump.\\n1-2. Give yourself time to relax.\\nIf you need to make an apology to a girl, then you are probably dealing with some pain as well. If you recognize that you're not feeling good at the moment, you should see first things first and give yourself time to heal. Depending on how bad the situation is, this could mean minutes, hours or days.\\nDon't let yourself put the apology off too long, however. Being silent long enough will be interpreted as a non-apology; that you aren't sorry and don't want to have anything to do with her. Again, interpretation of what is considered 'too long' will depend on the severity of the situation, and the strength of the relationship.\\n1-3. Understand why she is upset.\\nApologizing without meaning it or knowing why can make things worse than if you simply kept your mouth shut. If you rush into an apology, the woman will detect you're not being honest. Before you apologize, it's important you take a moment to stop and reflect. Why is she upset? Are the possibly other factors that are playing into her mood? How serious is the problem?\\nPut yourself in the woman's shoes for a moment. While you should be considering the way she is feeling, you should also imagine the way your actions have been interpreted by her in turn. If your apology is because of a certain thing that happened, try playing it out in your head. From there, regardless of who is to blame, you should have a better grasp why she is upset.\\nKeep in mind that empathizing with why she is upset is distinct from necessarily admitting guilt. Even if you don't think you have done anything wrong per se, a healthy relationship involves recognizing where the other person is coming from. Even if you think at first her reasons for feeling this way are unjustified or even irrational, it's important to recognize that the pain is real.\\n1-4. Be sincere with your apology.\\nIf the problem in question is severe enough, a woman will be analyzing your delivery for any possible signs of fakeness. The best way to ensure your apology is received as you want it is to make sure you actually mean it. If you think you'll need to grit your teeth as you apologize, it's a good idea to hold off and reflect upon the apology some more, or do without one altogether. \\nYou may be very angry for the same reasons as the girl. This will make it hard to open yourself up to her. If this is the case, give yourself some more time to relax and breathe.\\n2. Apologizing Verbally\\n2-1. Wait for the right time to apologize The art of apologizing has partly to do with the right timing.\\nYou would never want someone to apologize to you if you were in the middle of watching a movie, much less cramming the night before a big exam. Rather, you should bide your time (within reason, mind you) and wait for an opportunity where the girl is free and relatively relaxed.\\nAgain, you won't want to wait too long before going in for your apology. If you wait too long, it may be considered by the girl as a conscious decision on your part not to apologize.\\n2-2. Approach her solemnly.\\nThe way you approach a girl to apologize in person will have a big influence on whether or not the apology is accepted. Approach her quietly and calmly. Don't let yourself be distracted by anything else; your apology should have your whole attention. As you approach, make sure to make steady eye contact. Don't smile too much or act too loosely; you want to tell her with your body language that you acknowledge the seriousness of the situation.\\nThe question of approach is easier if you are apologizing over a text message or the phone, though you should keep in mind that an apology will only be at its most effective and affirmative if it's done in person.\\nIf you're not in a position where you'll be able to run into her easily, ask her to meet up. Keep your invitation simple and to the point, but give her reason to believe the reason you're meeting is to give you a chance to apologize. If she's too angry at the moment, give her some time; hopefully she'll come around and give you an opportunity to fess up.\\n2-3. Tell her you're sorry.\\nBefore you go into anything else, you should let her know from the start that you're sorry. If you try to explain why you're sorry before she actually knows you're apologizing, she may interpret it as an invitation to argue. Once you've approached her, take no time to let her know you're sorry. Any explaining can wait until after you've made the basic point. Being straightforward sounds easy on paper, but when there are emotions flaring up from both sides, it can be hard to see it through all the way. Don't let yourself get too worked up over it; if need be, remind yourself that this is a step in a process towards reclaiming your connection.\\nYour apology need not be elaborate; in fact, it's probably best that you keep it in as simple terms as possible. No need to be poetic or calculated here; just say \\\"I'm sorry.\\\" The more complicated you get, the higher chance there will be that the apology will be misconstrued as something else.\\n2-4. Express empathy.\\nSomething as simple as \\\"I'm sorry\\\" will go a farther ways than you think, but it won't be enough for the more serious things. Once you've opened up the conversation like that, it's time to go into greater details as to why you are sorry and how you understand the way she's feeling. If it develops into a more balanced conversation and the blame wasn't one-sided, you might take the opportunity to express some of your own feelings as part of the healing process, but only once you know the apology's been accepted.\\nFor example, as a general template, you might say: \\\"I'm really sorry for what I did. I was being really selfish at the time, and the way I see it's affected you has made me realize just how bad it was. I know I can't undo what happened, but I want you to know that I wish I could take it back, and I won't let it happen again.\\\"\\n2-5. Allow her a chance to respond.\\nPetty grievances probably aren't worth fussing over too much but more serious issues will probably beget a response to your apology. Once you've laid your cards all on the table, it may come time for her to tell you how she feels. Look her in the eyes, remain calm whatever you do, and process everything she says. Even if what she says makes you angry, try to empathize with her; she may still be feeling angry from what happened, and this may color the way she reacts towards you in a less-than-pleasant manner.\\n2-6. Hug her.\\nA verbal apology is often best accompanied by some sort of physical affirmation. Regardless of the specific type of relationship you're in, a hug is almost always appropriate. Hugging at the end of your apology will give the woman a physical show of how you feel, and her acceptance of your hug will offer some closure to the both of you.\\n2-7. Take steps to prevent future incidents.\\nAn apology is just words if it isn't taken to heart. If you are apologizing for something you did, work on preventing it in the future. Doing things to fix the problem at hand has two benefits; first, it will practically reduce the chances of the situation happening again, and second, she will see you putting your apology into tangible actions. If you make a habit of rinsing yourself of apologies once you make them, you'll have a much harder time getting your apologies accepted in the future.\\nFor instance, if you are apologizing for being late all the time, set your alarm ten minutes earlier than you usually do. This will make your actions more prompt, thus reducing the risk of being late again. Letting the girl know the steps you've taken will prove to her that your apology was sincere.\\n3. Apologizing Non-Verbally\\n3-1. Write an apology letter.\\nHandwritten apologies are the best non-verbal way to apologize. The length and tone of your message will depend largely on the severity and cause of the message. Forgetting a birthday is a far different matter than abuse or infidelity, for example. What is important, however, is that you write from the heart. Do away with the pretense of formal letter writing; write what you're feeling, and let the girl know you are sorry within the first two sentences.\\nIncluding a heart at the bottom denotes warmth and may be appropriate if you're in a romantic relationship with the girl.\\nWriting it by hand is important in this case. An apology letter is nothing if it isn't backed by a personal touch and vulnerability. It's much easier to mask emotions over a computer. However, for small matters a quick email or instant message can work as well.\\n3-2. Make amends through positive action.\\nIf you've done something to hurt the girl's feelings, doing something to make her feel good in consequence is a good way to make up for past faults. The way you go about making up to her is as potentially diverse and unique as the relationship itself. If you can think of some things the girl is interested in, you should think of those as potential opportunities to set things right. If you can't think of anything specific, there are few women out there who don't appreciate having back massages or dinner being made for them. It doesn't need to be anything too elaborate; a simple gesture can say a lot about the way someone is feeling.\\n3-3. Make a donation in her name.\\nA more formal way of apologizing to a woman could take the shape of a donation in their name. Although this probably only suits less severe or personal issues, an apology can in fact have greater weight when a dollar sign is attached to it. Of course, giving someone money would make it feel like a dirty bribe, so making a donation to a charity will carry the good intention without any of the foul undertones.\\nDonations, however small, should be accompanied with a specific statement why you're making it. Explain to the girl that you're making this donation as a way to affect positive change in the world from your apology, giving the fight you had an altruistic benefit for the world. Charity helps the world and is near-impossible to argue with.\\nTips\\nIf you cheated on the girl, it's not going to be easy at all, so make sure everything is perfect, just how she wants it, before apologizing SINCERELY. Put yourself in her place, and feel the hurt THAT YOU caused her.\\nAlthough this article is broken into verbal and non-verbal categories, often the most effective and heartfelt apologies will combine the two. Especially if a relationship is romantic, words will not be felt as fiercely alone as when they're backed up with action; the same goes vice-versa.\\nIn the end, your greatest asset in apologizing will be the simple two words: \\\"I'm sorry.\\\" A lot of the time, it doesn't take any more than that, so long as it's sincere.\\nWarnings\\nThere's never a guarantee that your apology will be accepted. If you're rejected for whatever reason, it may be because you didn't give her enough time to calm down. In worst case, bridges with her may have been burned permanently. If this happens, do your best to cope with the loss of that person in your life, and try to learn from the experience. Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes, and you may be able to use the experience to make sure similar things don't happen in the future.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Every relationship, no matter how strong it may be, will see its share of problems and arguments. Studies in gender communication have observed there is often undue strain in apologizing, even if the man otherwise acknowledges he has erred. In the majority of cases, an apology is and should be regarded as a positive way to reopen dialogue after following a fight. An apology demonstrates a willingness to be vulnerable with one another. While it can sometimes involve biting your tongue at first, a sincere and well-delivered apology can mean the difference between lasting pain or growing closer together.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing Psychologically\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge apologizing as a way to move forward.\", \"描述\": \"No matter why you are apologizing, remember that the goal is to make up with the girl and improve your relationship. At its core, an apology is an emotional concession that can have great returns if properly and sincerely delivered.\\nIt has been found consistently in studies that men have a far more difficult time of apologizing than women. If you count yourself among those who find difficulty in apologizing, approaching the act as a purely practical manoeuvre (at least at first) can help you get over that first hump.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Give yourself time to relax.\", \"描述\": \"If you need to make an apology to a girl, then you are probably dealing with some pain as well. If you recognize that you're not feeling good at the moment, you should see first things first and give yourself time to heal. Depending on how bad the situation is, this could mean minutes, hours or days.\\nDon't let yourself put the apology off too long, however. Being silent long enough will be interpreted as a non-apology; that you aren't sorry and don't want to have anything to do with her. Again, interpretation of what is considered 'too long' will depend on the severity of the situation, and the strength of the relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Understand why she is upset.\", \"描述\": \"Apologizing without meaning it or knowing why can make things worse than if you simply kept your mouth shut. If you rush into an apology, the woman will detect you're not being honest. Before you apologize, it's important you take a moment to stop and reflect. Why is she upset? Are the possibly other factors that are playing into her mood? How serious is the problem?\\nPut yourself in the woman's shoes for a moment. While you should be considering the way she is feeling, you should also imagine the way your actions have been interpreted by her in turn. If your apology is because of a certain thing that happened, try playing it out in your head. From there, regardless of who is to blame, you should have a better grasp why she is upset.\\nKeep in mind that empathizing with why she is upset is distinct from necessarily admitting guilt. Even if you don't think you have done anything wrong per se, a healthy relationship involves recognizing where the other person is coming from. Even if you think at first her reasons for feeling this way are unjustified or even irrational, it's important to recognize that the pain is real.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be sincere with your apology.\", \"描述\": \"If the problem in question is severe enough, a woman will be analyzing your delivery for any possible signs of fakeness. The best way to ensure your apology is received as you want it is to make sure you actually mean it. If you think you'll need to grit your teeth as you apologize, it's a good idea to hold off and reflect upon the apology some more, or do without one altogether. \\nYou may be very angry for the same reasons as the girl. This will make it hard to open yourself up to her. If this is the case, give yourself some more time to relax and breathe.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Apologizing Verbally\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wait for the right time to apologize The art of apologizing has partly to do with the right timing.\", \"描述\": \"You would never want someone to apologize to you if you were in the middle of watching a movie, much less cramming the night before a big exam. Rather, you should bide your time (within reason, mind you) and wait for an opportunity where the girl is free and relatively relaxed.\\nAgain, you won't want to wait too long before going in for your apology. If you wait too long, it may be considered by the girl as a conscious decision on your part not to apologize.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Approach her solemnly.\", \"描述\": \"The way you approach a girl to apologize in person will have a big influence on whether or not the apology is accepted. Approach her quietly and calmly. Don't let yourself be distracted by anything else; your apology should have your whole attention. As you approach, make sure to make steady eye contact. Don't smile too much or act too loosely; you want to tell her with your body language that you acknowledge the seriousness of the situation.\\nThe question of approach is easier if you are apologizing over a text message or the phone, though you should keep in mind that an apology will only be at its most effective and affirmative if it's done in person.\\nIf you're not in a position where you'll be able to run into her easily, ask her to meet up. Keep your invitation simple and to the point, but give her reason to believe the reason you're meeting is to give you a chance to apologize. If she's too angry at the moment, give her some time; hopefully she'll come around and give you an opportunity to fess up.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tell her you're sorry.\", \"描述\": \"Before you go into anything else, you should let her know from the start that you're sorry. If you try to explain why you're sorry before she actually knows you're apologizing, she may interpret it as an invitation to argue. Once you've approached her, take no time to let her know you're sorry. Any explaining can wait until after you've made the basic point. Being straightforward sounds easy on paper, but when there are emotions flaring up from both sides, it can be hard to see it through all the way. Don't let yourself get too worked up over it; if need be, remind yourself that this is a step in a process towards reclaiming your connection.\\nYour apology need not be elaborate; in fact, it's probably best that you keep it in as simple terms as possible. No need to be poetic or calculated here; just say \\\"I'm sorry.\\\" The more complicated you get, the higher chance there will be that the apology will be misconstrued as something else.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Express empathy.\", \"描述\": \"Something as simple as \\\"I'm sorry\\\" will go a farther ways than you think, but it won't be enough for the more serious things. Once you've opened up the conversation like that, it's time to go into greater details as to why you are sorry and how you understand the way she's feeling. If it develops into a more balanced conversation and the blame wasn't one-sided, you might take the opportunity to express some of your own feelings as part of the healing process, but only once you know the apology's been accepted.\\nFor example, as a general template, you might say: \\\"I'm really sorry for what I did. I was being really selfish at the time, and the way I see it's affected you has made me realize just how bad it was. I know I can't undo what happened, but I want you to know that I wish I could take it back, and I won't let it happen again.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Allow her a chance to respond.\", \"描述\": \"Petty grievances probably aren't worth fussing over too much but more serious issues will probably beget a response to your apology. Once you've laid your cards all on the table, it may come time for her to tell you how she feels. Look her in the eyes, remain calm whatever you do, and process everything she says. Even if what she says makes you angry, try to empathize with her; she may still be feeling angry from what happened, and this may color the way she reacts towards you in a less-than-pleasant manner.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Hug her.\", \"描述\": \"A verbal apology is often best accompanied by some sort of physical affirmation. Regardless of the specific type of relationship you're in, a hug is almost always appropriate. Hugging at the end of your apology will give the woman a physical show of how you feel, and her acceptance of your hug will offer some closure to the both of you.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Take steps to prevent future incidents.\", \"描述\": \"An apology is just words if it isn't taken to heart. If you are apologizing for something you did, work on preventing it in the future. Doing things to fix the problem at hand has two benefits; first, it will practically reduce the chances of the situation happening again, and second, she will see you putting your apology into tangible actions. If you make a habit of rinsing yourself of apologies once you make them, you'll have a much harder time getting your apologies accepted in the future.\\nFor instance, if you are apologizing for being late all the time, set your alarm ten minutes earlier than you usually do. This will make your actions more prompt, thus reducing the risk of being late again. Letting the girl know the steps you've taken will prove to her that your apology was sincere.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Apologizing Non-Verbally\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Write an apology letter.\", \"描述\": \"Handwritten apologies are the best non-verbal way to apologize. The length and tone of your message will depend largely on the severity and cause of the message. Forgetting a birthday is a far different matter than abuse or infidelity, for example. What is important, however, is that you write from the heart. Do away with the pretense of formal letter writing; write what you're feeling, and let the girl know you are sorry within the first two sentences.\\nIncluding a heart at the bottom denotes warmth and may be appropriate if you're in a romantic relationship with the girl.\\nWriting it by hand is important in this case. An apology letter is nothing if it isn't backed by a personal touch and vulnerability. It's much easier to mask emotions over a computer. However, for small matters a quick email or instant message can work as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make amends through positive action.\", \"描述\": \"If you've done something to hurt the girl's feelings, doing something to make her feel good in consequence is a good way to make up for past faults. The way you go about making up to her is as potentially diverse and unique as the relationship itself. If you can think of some things the girl is interested in, you should think of those as potential opportunities to set things right. If you can't think of anything specific, there are few women out there who don't appreciate having back massages or dinner being made for them. It doesn't need to be anything too elaborate; a simple gesture can say a lot about the way someone is feeling.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make a donation in her name.\", \"描述\": \"A more formal way of apologizing to a woman could take the shape of a donation in their name. Although this probably only suits less severe or personal issues, an apology can in fact have greater weight when a dollar sign is attached to it. Of course, giving someone money would make it feel like a dirty bribe, so making a donation to a charity will carry the good intention without any of the foul undertones.\\nDonations, however small, should be accompanied with a specific statement why you're making it. Explain to the girl that you're making this donation as a way to affect positive change in the world from your apology, giving the fight you had an altruistic benefit for the world. Charity helps the world and is near-impossible to argue with.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you cheated on the girl, it's not going to be easy at all, so make sure everything is perfect, just how she wants it, before apologizing SINCERELY. Put yourself in her place, and feel the hurt THAT YOU caused her.\\n\", \"Although this article is broken into verbal and non-verbal categories, often the most effective and heartfelt apologies will combine the two. Especially if a relationship is romantic, words will not be felt as fiercely alone as when they're backed up with action; the same goes vice-versa.\\n\", \"In the end, your greatest asset in apologizing will be the simple two words: \\\"I'm sorry.\\\" A lot of the time, it doesn't take any more than that, so long as it's sincere.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"There's never a guarantee that your apology will be accepted. If you're rejected for whatever reason, it may be because you didn't give her enough time to calm down. In worst case, bridges with her may have been burned permanently. If this happens, do your best to cope with the loss of that person in your life, and try to learn from the experience. Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes, and you may be able to use the experience to make sure similar things don't happen in the future.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,799 | How to Apologize to a Girl You Accidentally Insulted | 1. Making a Sincere Apology
1-1. Figure out why she was offended.
Did your comment implicate someone she loved, like a family member or friend, accidentally? Did you bring up a story or event from her past that she would rather not talk about? Is there a simple misunderstanding between you two? The simplest way to figure out your mistake is to ask, but there are other methods as well.
Talk to her friends -- do they know how you insulted her?
Replay the event in your head -- did you say something off-hand that you didn't realize was offensive?
1-2. Apologize in person
Pull her aside and let her know that you never meant to offend her. Outline briefly what you meant to say and avoid making excuses -- this is not the time to go on trial, it is the time to atone for your mistake.
Get your apology in as soon as possible -- the longer you wait to say sorry the harder it will be to convince her that you mean it.
1-3. Be sincere
Do not apologize just to "get her off your back," as she'll see through it instantly. Good ways to show your sincerity include:
Make eye contact.
Slightly bow your head.
Talk in a slow, calm, and measured voice.
Don't rush your apology to "get it over with."
1-4. List the hurtful effects of your actions when you apologize.
This will show empathy and show that you are actually sorry. If you simply say that you're sorry, you'll give the impression that you're only sorry about getting caught.
1-5. Admit your wrongdoing.
This simple show of humility is the most powerful thing you can do in an apology. You made a mistake, knowingly or not, and you need to own up to your mistake to move on. Why were you wrong? Do you understand why you were offensive? Let her know that you've learned from your mistake.
"I'm so sorry I said that -- I never meant to hurt you and I won't say it again."
"I made a mistake thinking that was okay, it won't happen again."
1-6. Listen to her response.
The apology is her opportunity to tell you how you made her feel, and an opportunity for both of you to move forward. Listen attentively and take her thoughts on board. If you can, rephrase them back to her to show that you were listening. This is why you need to get a few minutes to apologize to her.
1-7. Ask for her forgiveness.
While difficult, you need to come clean, say you're sorry, and hope that she forgives you. If your mistake was accidental, chances are good she will be laugh off the misunderstanding and move on.
There is no more effective way to ask for forgiveness than a simple, "I'm sorry."
1-8. Move on.
Once you've apologized, it's time to get your friendship back on track. If you've accidentally offended her, the best you can do is apologize, admit your wrongdoing, and ask for forgiveness. If she is unwilling to accept this, than give her some time to see that you are sincere. However, don't feel like you need to bend over backwards to make things right -- everyone makes mistakes, and she needs to be able to forgive you.
2. Avoiding Further Insults
2-1. Ask her if there is anything you can do to make it up to her.
Is there something you can do to make her feel better? Is there someone else that you may need to apologize to, such as a friend or family member who was also nearby. Showing that you will do things to fix your mistake proves that you are truly sorry and want to prevent future insult.
Do not, however, feel like you "owe" her anything. Your actions should be done out of caring, and she should not take advantage of you with absurd or unreasonable demands.
2-2. Follow through on your apology with concrete actions.
If you tell her during the apology that you are going to act differently in the future, put your money where your mouth is and actually do so.
2-3. Act politely
While you should do this all of the time, go out of your way to show that you still respect her, despite your slip up. Treating her with respect and humility will help heal the wounds that were accidentally opened.
You don't need to act like she is queen. Basic dignity and curtsey should suffice.
2-4. Understand why the insult was offensive.
You need to go a step further than apologizing if you want to make a real difference in your friendship. Ask her to explain why your words/actions hurt, and make sure you take the time to listen.
2-5. Avoid getting defensive.
You may feel entitled to an apology as well -- after all, you did not mean to be offensive -- but this is not the time or place. You need to understand where she is coming from if you hope to avoid further issues. Do no argue or try and convince her that "you weren't being insulting" or that she is "overreacting."
The offender does not get to choose what is offensive. If she felt insulted, then you insulted her.
2-6. Remember what insulted her and refrain from repeating it.
This may seem obvious, but oftentimes, after a sincere apology, you may think that you can repeat the insult "jokingly." This is not only rude, it is incredibly disrespectful. You need to honor her wishes and find new language to express yourself.
Tips
Never force them to accept your apology.
Don't hold a grudge if she doesn't forgive you immediately.
Don't try to apologize through another friend.
Warnings
Do not go hanging off her and pestering her to forgive you right afterwards. Apologize once, then back off.
Not all girls are the same. Some may never forgive a slight to their looks, others won't even care. How you apologize depends on the girl.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:11",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Making a Sincere Apology\\n1-1. Figure out why she was offended.\\nDid your comment implicate someone she loved, like a family member or friend, accidentally? Did you bring up a story or event from her past that she would rather not talk about? Is there a simple misunderstanding between you two? The simplest way to figure out your mistake is to ask, but there are other methods as well.\\nTalk to her friends -- do they know how you insulted her?\\nReplay the event in your head -- did you say something off-hand that you didn't realize was offensive?\\n1-2. Apologize in person\\nPull her aside and let her know that you never meant to offend her. Outline briefly what you meant to say and avoid making excuses -- this is not the time to go on trial, it is the time to atone for your mistake.\\nGet your apology in as soon as possible -- the longer you wait to say sorry the harder it will be to convince her that you mean it.\\n1-3. Be sincere\\nDo not apologize just to \\\"get her off your back,\\\" as she'll see through it instantly. Good ways to show your sincerity include:\\nMake eye contact.\\nSlightly bow your head.\\nTalk in a slow, calm, and measured voice.\\nDon't rush your apology to \\\"get it over with.\\\"\\n1-4. List the hurtful effects of your actions when you apologize.\\nThis will show empathy and show that you are actually sorry. If you simply say that you're sorry, you'll give the impression that you're only sorry about getting caught.\\n1-5. Admit your wrongdoing.\\nThis simple show of humility is the most powerful thing you can do in an apology. You made a mistake, knowingly or not, and you need to own up to your mistake to move on. Why were you wrong? Do you understand why you were offensive? Let her know that you've learned from your mistake.\\n\\\"I'm so sorry I said that -- I never meant to hurt you and I won't say it again.\\\"\\n\\\"I made a mistake thinking that was okay, it won't happen again.\\\"\\n1-6. Listen to her response.\\nThe apology is her opportunity to tell you how you made her feel, and an opportunity for both of you to move forward. Listen attentively and take her thoughts on board. If you can, rephrase them back to her to show that you were listening. This is why you need to get a few minutes to apologize to her.\\n1-7. Ask for her forgiveness.\\nWhile difficult, you need to come clean, say you're sorry, and hope that she forgives you. If your mistake was accidental, chances are good she will be laugh off the misunderstanding and move on.\\nThere is no more effective way to ask for forgiveness than a simple, \\\"I'm sorry.\\\"\\n1-8. Move on.\\nOnce you've apologized, it's time to get your friendship back on track. If you've accidentally offended her, the best you can do is apologize, admit your wrongdoing, and ask for forgiveness. If she is unwilling to accept this, than give her some time to see that you are sincere. However, don't feel like you need to bend over backwards to make things right -- everyone makes mistakes, and she needs to be able to forgive you.\\n2. Avoiding Further Insults\\n2-1. Ask her if there is anything you can do to make it up to her.\\nIs there something you can do to make her feel better? Is there someone else that you may need to apologize to, such as a friend or family member who was also nearby. Showing that you will do things to fix your mistake proves that you are truly sorry and want to prevent future insult.\\nDo not, however, feel like you \\\"owe\\\" her anything. Your actions should be done out of caring, and she should not take advantage of you with absurd or unreasonable demands.\\n2-2. Follow through on your apology with concrete actions.\\nIf you tell her during the apology that you are going to act differently in the future, put your money where your mouth is and actually do so.\\n2-3. Act politely\\nWhile you should do this all of the time, go out of your way to show that you still respect her, despite your slip up. Treating her with respect and humility will help heal the wounds that were accidentally opened.\\nYou don't need to act like she is queen. Basic dignity and curtsey should suffice.\\n2-4. Understand why the insult was offensive.\\nYou need to go a step further than apologizing if you want to make a real difference in your friendship. Ask her to explain why your words/actions hurt, and make sure you take the time to listen.\\n2-5. Avoid getting defensive.\\nYou may feel entitled to an apology as well -- after all, you did not mean to be offensive -- but this is not the time or place. You need to understand where she is coming from if you hope to avoid further issues. Do no argue or try and convince her that \\\"you weren't being insulting\\\" or that she is \\\"overreacting.\\\"\\nThe offender does not get to choose what is offensive. If she felt insulted, then you insulted her.\\n2-6. Remember what insulted her and refrain from repeating it.\\nThis may seem obvious, but oftentimes, after a sincere apology, you may think that you can repeat the insult \\\"jokingly.\\\" This is not only rude, it is incredibly disrespectful. You need to honor her wishes and find new language to express yourself.\\nTips\\nNever force them to accept your apology.\\nDon't hold a grudge if she doesn't forgive you immediately.\\nDon't try to apologize through another friend.\\nWarnings\\nDo not go hanging off her and pestering her to forgive you right afterwards. Apologize once, then back off.\\nNot all girls are the same. Some may never forgive a slight to their looks, others won't even care. How you apologize depends on the girl.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Have you inadvertently offended your female friend? Everyone makes mistakes, but the important part of a mistake is realizing that you've hurt someone. Asking forgiveness can be tough, but it is a vital part of any relationship. If you are sincere, honest, and clear with your apology, however, you can expect to be back to normal in no time.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Making a Sincere Apology\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Figure out why she was offended.\", \"描述\": \"Did your comment implicate someone she loved, like a family member or friend, accidentally? Did you bring up a story or event from her past that she would rather not talk about? Is there a simple misunderstanding between you two? The simplest way to figure out your mistake is to ask, but there are other methods as well.\\nTalk to her friends -- do they know how you insulted her?\\nReplay the event in your head -- did you say something off-hand that you didn't realize was offensive?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Apologize in person\", \"描述\": \"Pull her aside and let her know that you never meant to offend her. Outline briefly what you meant to say and avoid making excuses -- this is not the time to go on trial, it is the time to atone for your mistake.\\nGet your apology in as soon as possible -- the longer you wait to say sorry the harder it will be to convince her that you mean it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be sincere\", \"描述\": \"Do not apologize just to \\\"get her off your back,\\\" as she'll see through it instantly. Good ways to show your sincerity include:\\nMake eye contact.\\nSlightly bow your head.\\nTalk in a slow, calm, and measured voice.\\nDon't rush your apology to \\\"get it over with.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"List the hurtful effects of your actions when you apologize.\", \"描述\": \"This will show empathy and show that you are actually sorry. If you simply say that you're sorry, you'll give the impression that you're only sorry about getting caught.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Admit your wrongdoing.\", \"描述\": \"This simple show of humility is the most powerful thing you can do in an apology. You made a mistake, knowingly or not, and you need to own up to your mistake to move on. Why were you wrong? Do you understand why you were offensive? Let her know that you've learned from your mistake.\\n\\\"I'm so sorry I said that -- I never meant to hurt you and I won't say it again.\\\"\\n\\\"I made a mistake thinking that was okay, it won't happen again.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Listen to her response.\", \"描述\": \"The apology is her opportunity to tell you how you made her feel, and an opportunity for both of you to move forward. Listen attentively and take her thoughts on board. If you can, rephrase them back to her to show that you were listening. This is why you need to get a few minutes to apologize to her.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Ask for her forgiveness.\", \"描述\": \"While difficult, you need to come clean, say you're sorry, and hope that she forgives you. If your mistake was accidental, chances are good she will be laugh off the misunderstanding and move on.\\nThere is no more effective way to ask for forgiveness than a simple, \\\"I'm sorry.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Move on.\", \"描述\": \"Once you've apologized, it's time to get your friendship back on track. If you've accidentally offended her, the best you can do is apologize, admit your wrongdoing, and ask for forgiveness. If she is unwilling to accept this, than give her some time to see that you are sincere. However, don't feel like you need to bend over backwards to make things right -- everyone makes mistakes, and she needs to be able to forgive you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoiding Further Insults\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask her if there is anything you can do to make it up to her.\", \"描述\": \"Is there something you can do to make her feel better? Is there someone else that you may need to apologize to, such as a friend or family member who was also nearby. Showing that you will do things to fix your mistake proves that you are truly sorry and want to prevent future insult.\\nDo not, however, feel like you \\\"owe\\\" her anything. Your actions should be done out of caring, and she should not take advantage of you with absurd or unreasonable demands.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Follow through on your apology with concrete actions.\", \"描述\": \"If you tell her during the apology that you are going to act differently in the future, put your money where your mouth is and actually do so.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Act politely\", \"描述\": \"While you should do this all of the time, go out of your way to show that you still respect her, despite your slip up. Treating her with respect and humility will help heal the wounds that were accidentally opened.\\nYou don't need to act like she is queen. Basic dignity and curtsey should suffice.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Understand why the insult was offensive.\", \"描述\": \"You need to go a step further than apologizing if you want to make a real difference in your friendship. Ask her to explain why your words/actions hurt, and make sure you take the time to listen.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid getting defensive.\", \"描述\": \"You may feel entitled to an apology as well -- after all, you did not mean to be offensive -- but this is not the time or place. You need to understand where she is coming from if you hope to avoid further issues. Do no argue or try and convince her that \\\"you weren't being insulting\\\" or that she is \\\"overreacting.\\\"\\nThe offender does not get to choose what is offensive. If she felt insulted, then you insulted her.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Remember what insulted her and refrain from repeating it.\", \"描述\": \"This may seem obvious, but oftentimes, after a sincere apology, you may think that you can repeat the insult \\\"jokingly.\\\" This is not only rude, it is incredibly disrespectful. You need to honor her wishes and find new language to express yourself.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Never force them to accept your apology.\\n\", \"Don't hold a grudge if she doesn't forgive you immediately.\\n\", \"Don't try to apologize through another friend.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Do not go hanging off her and pestering her to forgive you right afterwards. Apologize once, then back off.\\n\", \"Not all girls are the same. Some may never forgive a slight to their looks, others won't even care. How you apologize depends on the girl.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,800 | How to Apologize to a Girl for Being Rude | 1. Apologize in person.
Meeting with someone face-to-face makes your apology more genuine.
It takes courage to say sorry in person. Being that open and honest with someone shows that you're really making an effort to communicate your remorse. Pick a quiet place away from other people and apologize in person.
If you're at school, try a spot on campus away from others, like in the courtyard or at an empty lunch table. When you're out of school, try a bench at a neighborhood park.
2. Write a note of apology.
You might not be able to meet in person.
It's also possible that you're nervous and worried you may say the wrong thing. If that's the case, write a letter instead. If you go this route, make sure you really think about your words. You want the girl to know that you spent a lot of time thinking about your apology. Try writing out a few drafts if you're not sure what to say.
Avoid texting an apology if you can. This may not seem as sincere, as it doesn't take much effort to type out a text.
3. Acknowledge what you did in your apology.
An apology that doesn't address your actions won't be as sincere.
Be specific and refer back to exactly what rude things you said or did. This shows her that you understand the mistake that you made and that you've really thought about how your behavior affected her.
Say something like, "I'm so sorry for making fun of your outfit yesterday. That was so rude and inconsiderate, and I should never have said that."
Avoid generalized apologies like, "I'm sorry I'm such a bad person." This doesn't address what you did to hurt her specifically. It's much more meaningful to show her that you understand exactly what you did wrong.
4. Accept responsibility for your actions.
Don't blame the girl or other people for what you said.
It's super hard to admit when you've messed up, but blaming your actions on others is like taking the easy way out. Do the right thing and hold yourself accountable. As difficult as it may be, tell her that what you did was a mistake that you alone made.
You could say, "There are no excuses for what I did. I was just being flat-out rude and I couldn't be more sorry for hurting you."
Avoid providing justifications for what you did. Don't say anything like, "I know I hurt your feelings, but you were being really annoying."
5. Empathize with how you made her feel.
Show her that you've thought about her point of view.
Maybe you laughed at a girl for dropping all of her books in the hallway. That probably made her feel pretty insecure and embarrassed. When you're apologizing, let her know that you've considered how your actions made her feel.
To express empathy, say, "I can only imagine how you must have felt when I laughed at you like that. I'm so sorry if I made you feel embarrassed."
6. Make a promise to change and mean it.
Follow your apology with meaningful actions.
Before apologizing, take a moment to think about what you can do differently going forward. Maybe you want to think more before you speak or treat girls with more respect. Once you come up with positive changes you can make, include those in your apology. If your friends with this girl and want to keep spending time with her, make sure you avoid making the mistake again. Make a promise to yourself and her so that you can repair your friendship. This will help you both move forward!
Even if you're not good friends, you can tell the girl that you intend to treat people better in the future.
You can say something like, "I realize now that my words can hurt people. I promise I won't be so careless about your feelings next time."
7. Listen to her perspective.
A good apology involves a conversation, not a monologue.
When apologizing to a girl, give her a chance to respond. Pause every now and then to let her speak. If she asks you questions, try your best to answer them. She may need to express in person how hurt she was by your behavior. Avoid getting defensive, and listen.
It may be really hard to hear how hurt she was by your behavior. Try your best to be open to hearing her perspective and reiterate how apologetic you are.
8. Respect her response.
She may not be able to forgive you just yet.
Although a sincere apology can repair a friendship or make someone feel better, it doesn't always fix everything. Depending on what you did or how hurt she is, she may need some time before forgiving you. In some cases, she may not be able to forgive. Regardless, respect how she feels and don't pressure her for forgiveness.
It's important to say you're sorry regardless of how she responds. Apologizing just so she will forgive you or make you feel better isn't coming from a genuine place.
9. Give her space if she needs it.
She may need some time before deciding how she feels.
Though some people may accept your apology and move on quickly, others need some extra time to process how they feel. After apologizing, let her know that you understand if she needs space and that you will respect that.
After apologizing, say something like, "I completely understand if you need some time to think about what I said. Just know that I'm here for you if you ever want to talk about it."
Understand her personality and know what is important to her.
Some women may expect you to bow down and do whatever it takes to get them back.
10. Forgive yourself.
Sometimes you have to learn life lessons through making mistakes.
Beating yourself up about your mistake won't help you improve. After making a sincere apology, accept that what you did was wrong and look at how you can change your life in the future. This will help ensure that it doesn't happen again.
Know that saying you're sorry takes a lot of courage! What you did was a great first step in changing yourself for the better. Pat yourself on the back for your hard work!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:11",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Apologize in person.\\nMeeting with someone face-to-face makes your apology more genuine.\\nIt takes courage to say sorry in person. Being that open and honest with someone shows that you're really making an effort to communicate your remorse. Pick a quiet place away from other people and apologize in person.\\nIf you're at school, try a spot on campus away from others, like in the courtyard or at an empty lunch table. When you're out of school, try a bench at a neighborhood park.\\n2. Write a note of apology.\\nYou might not be able to meet in person.\\nIt's also possible that you're nervous and worried you may say the wrong thing. If that's the case, write a letter instead. If you go this route, make sure you really think about your words. You want the girl to know that you spent a lot of time thinking about your apology. Try writing out a few drafts if you're not sure what to say.\\nAvoid texting an apology if you can. This may not seem as sincere, as it doesn't take much effort to type out a text.\\n3. Acknowledge what you did in your apology.\\nAn apology that doesn't address your actions won't be as sincere.\\nBe specific and refer back to exactly what rude things you said or did. This shows her that you understand the mistake that you made and that you've really thought about how your behavior affected her.\\nSay something like, \\\"I'm so sorry for making fun of your outfit yesterday. That was so rude and inconsiderate, and I should never have said that.\\\"\\nAvoid generalized apologies like, \\\"I'm sorry I'm such a bad person.\\\" This doesn't address what you did to hurt her specifically. It's much more meaningful to show her that you understand exactly what you did wrong.\\n4. Accept responsibility for your actions.\\nDon't blame the girl or other people for what you said.\\nIt's super hard to admit when you've messed up, but blaming your actions on others is like taking the easy way out. Do the right thing and hold yourself accountable. As difficult as it may be, tell her that what you did was a mistake that you alone made.\\nYou could say, \\\"There are no excuses for what I did. I was just being flat-out rude and I couldn't be more sorry for hurting you.\\\"\\nAvoid providing justifications for what you did. Don't say anything like, \\\"I know I hurt your feelings, but you were being really annoying.\\\"\\n5. Empathize with how you made her feel.\\nShow her that you've thought about her point of view.\\nMaybe you laughed at a girl for dropping all of her books in the hallway. That probably made her feel pretty insecure and embarrassed. When you're apologizing, let her know that you've considered how your actions made her feel.\\nTo express empathy, say, \\\"I can only imagine how you must have felt when I laughed at you like that. I'm so sorry if I made you feel embarrassed.\\\"\\n6. Make a promise to change and mean it.\\nFollow your apology with meaningful actions.\\nBefore apologizing, take a moment to think about what you can do differently going forward. Maybe you want to think more before you speak or treat girls with more respect. Once you come up with positive changes you can make, include those in your apology. If your friends with this girl and want to keep spending time with her, make sure you avoid making the mistake again. Make a promise to yourself and her so that you can repair your friendship. This will help you both move forward!\\nEven if you're not good friends, you can tell the girl that you intend to treat people better in the future.\\nYou can say something like, \\\"I realize now that my words can hurt people. I promise I won't be so careless about your feelings next time.\\\"\\n7. Listen to her perspective.\\nA good apology involves a conversation, not a monologue.\\nWhen apologizing to a girl, give her a chance to respond. Pause every now and then to let her speak. If she asks you questions, try your best to answer them. She may need to express in person how hurt she was by your behavior. Avoid getting defensive, and listen.\\nIt may be really hard to hear how hurt she was by your behavior. Try your best to be open to hearing her perspective and reiterate how apologetic you are.\\n8. Respect her response.\\nShe may not be able to forgive you just yet.\\nAlthough a sincere apology can repair a friendship or make someone feel better, it doesn't always fix everything. Depending on what you did or how hurt she is, she may need some time before forgiving you. In some cases, she may not be able to forgive. Regardless, respect how she feels and don't pressure her for forgiveness.\\nIt's important to say you're sorry regardless of how she responds. Apologizing just so she will forgive you or make you feel better isn't coming from a genuine place.\\n9. Give her space if she needs it.\\nShe may need some time before deciding how she feels.\\nThough some people may accept your apology and move on quickly, others need some extra time to process how they feel. After apologizing, let her know that you understand if she needs space and that you will respect that.\\nAfter apologizing, say something like, \\\"I completely understand if you need some time to think about what I said. Just know that I'm here for you if you ever want to talk about it.\\\"\\nUnderstand her personality and know what is important to her.\\nSome women may expect you to bow down and do whatever it takes to get them back.\\n10. Forgive yourself.\\nSometimes you have to learn life lessons through making mistakes.\\nBeating yourself up about your mistake won't help you improve. After making a sincere apology, accept that what you did was wrong and look at how you can change your life in the future. This will help ensure that it doesn't happen again.\\nKnow that saying you're sorry takes a lot of courage! What you did was a great first step in changing yourself for the better. Pat yourself on the back for your hard work!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Everyone makes mistakes. It may sound like a cliche, but it's true. If you've recently hurt a girl's feelings, you may be feeling pretty bad about it. Apologizing to her can help you express your remorse and even make the girl feel better. Before you say that you're sorry, here are some tips for giving a meaningful and sincere apology.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Apologize in person.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Meeting with someone face-to-face makes your apology more genuine.\", \"描述\": \"It takes courage to say sorry in person. Being that open and honest with someone shows that you're really making an effort to communicate your remorse. Pick a quiet place away from other people and apologize in person.\\nIf you're at school, try a spot on campus away from others, like in the courtyard or at an empty lunch table. When you're out of school, try a bench at a neighborhood park.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Write a note of apology.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You might not be able to meet in person.\", \"描述\": \"It's also possible that you're nervous and worried you may say the wrong thing. If that's the case, write a letter instead. If you go this route, make sure you really think about your words. You want the girl to know that you spent a lot of time thinking about your apology. Try writing out a few drafts if you're not sure what to say.\\nAvoid texting an apology if you can. This may not seem as sincere, as it doesn't take much effort to type out a text.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge what you did in your apology.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"An apology that doesn't address your actions won't be as sincere.\", \"描述\": \"Be specific and refer back to exactly what rude things you said or did. This shows her that you understand the mistake that you made and that you've really thought about how your behavior affected her.\\nSay something like, \\\"I'm so sorry for making fun of your outfit yesterday. That was so rude and inconsiderate, and I should never have said that.\\\"\\nAvoid generalized apologies like, \\\"I'm sorry I'm such a bad person.\\\" This doesn't address what you did to hurt her specifically. It's much more meaningful to show her that you understand exactly what you did wrong.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Accept responsibility for your actions.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't blame the girl or other people for what you said.\", \"描述\": \"It's super hard to admit when you've messed up, but blaming your actions on others is like taking the easy way out. Do the right thing and hold yourself accountable. As difficult as it may be, tell her that what you did was a mistake that you alone made.\\nYou could say, \\\"There are no excuses for what I did. I was just being flat-out rude and I couldn't be more sorry for hurting you.\\\"\\nAvoid providing justifications for what you did. Don't say anything like, \\\"I know I hurt your feelings, but you were being really annoying.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Empathize with how you made her feel.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show her that you've thought about her point of view.\", \"描述\": \"Maybe you laughed at a girl for dropping all of her books in the hallway. That probably made her feel pretty insecure and embarrassed. When you're apologizing, let her know that you've considered how your actions made her feel.\\nTo express empathy, say, \\\"I can only imagine how you must have felt when I laughed at you like that. I'm so sorry if I made you feel embarrassed.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Make a promise to change and mean it.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Follow your apology with meaningful actions.\", \"描述\": \"Before apologizing, take a moment to think about what you can do differently going forward. Maybe you want to think more before you speak or treat girls with more respect. Once you come up with positive changes you can make, include those in your apology. If your friends with this girl and want to keep spending time with her, make sure you avoid making the mistake again. Make a promise to yourself and her so that you can repair your friendship. This will help you both move forward!\\nEven if you're not good friends, you can tell the girl that you intend to treat people better in the future.\\nYou can say something like, \\\"I realize now that my words can hurt people. I promise I won't be so careless about your feelings next time.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Listen to her perspective.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A good apology involves a conversation, not a monologue.\", \"描述\": \"When apologizing to a girl, give her a chance to respond. Pause every now and then to let her speak. If she asks you questions, try your best to answer them. She may need to express in person how hurt she was by your behavior. Avoid getting defensive, and listen.\\nIt may be really hard to hear how hurt she was by your behavior. Try your best to be open to hearing her perspective and reiterate how apologetic you are.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Respect her response.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"She may not be able to forgive you just yet.\", \"描述\": \"Although a sincere apology can repair a friendship or make someone feel better, it doesn't always fix everything. Depending on what you did or how hurt she is, she may need some time before forgiving you. In some cases, she may not be able to forgive. Regardless, respect how she feels and don't pressure her for forgiveness.\\nIt's important to say you're sorry regardless of how she responds. Apologizing just so she will forgive you or make you feel better isn't coming from a genuine place.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Give her space if she needs it.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"She may need some time before deciding how she feels.\", \"描述\": \"Though some people may accept your apology and move on quickly, others need some extra time to process how they feel. After apologizing, let her know that you understand if she needs space and that you will respect that.\\nAfter apologizing, say something like, \\\"I completely understand if you need some time to think about what I said. Just know that I'm here for you if you ever want to talk about it.\\\"\\nUnderstand her personality and know what is important to her.\\nSome women may expect you to bow down and do whatever it takes to get them back.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Forgive yourself.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sometimes you have to learn life lessons through making mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"Beating yourself up about your mistake won't help you improve. After making a sincere apology, accept that what you did was wrong and look at how you can change your life in the future. This will help ensure that it doesn't happen again.\\nKnow that saying you're sorry takes a lot of courage! What you did was a great first step in changing yourself for the better. Pat yourself on the back for your hard work!\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,801 | How to Apologize to a Girl over Text | 1. Put yourself in her shoes.
Try to see where she’s coming from.
Before you start texting her, take some time to think about how you might feel if someone hurt you the way you hurt her. Empathize with her to better understand where she’s coming from and what you can say to make up for your mistakes. Try to understand how she’s feeling and it can help you figure out what you need to say to make up for it.
For instance, if you forgot her birthday, try imagining how it would make you feel if she forgot about yours.
2. Tell her that you’re wrong and you’re sorry.
Start out by admitting it.
No need to beat around the bush. Come right out and tell her that you messed up. Tell her you’re really sorry and mean it. She may forgive you right away for being up front about it, or it may take some time for her to come around. But the important thing is that you’re willing to admit when you’re wrong and apologize for it.
Send her something like, “I know I hurt you and I’m really sorry.” Keep it short, direct, and to the point.
Even if you weren’t fully in the wrong, you may be able to fix things by taking the first step and apologizing.
3. Take responsibility for your actions.
Own up to your mistakes and avoid making excuses.
Tell her that whatever you did to hurt her is your fault. Don’t try to shift the blame on anyone or anything else. She may be much more open to accepting your apology if you’re honest and willing to accept that what you did was wrong.
If you did something like forget to text her back or call her when you said you would, you could try something like, “It’s totally my fault. I messed up.”
If you’re willing to own your mistakes, she may admit to her own. For instance, if she got angry and yelled at you for ignoring her calls while you were busy, you could say something like, “I should have told you I wouldn’t be able to check my phone. That’s my mistake.” She may then apologize for getting upset.
4. Express remorse for what you did.
Show her that you feel bad for hurting her.
Go the extra step past simply admitting your mistakes and explain how badly you feel about hurting her. Talk about what emotions you’re feeling and how much you regret your words or actions.
For instance, if you blew her off all weekend and it hurt her feelings, you could say something like, “I’m so sorry. I’ve been sick to my stomach all day about it. I’m so sorry I hurt you, I wish I could take it all back.”
5. Talk about why you were wrong.
Show her you understand the seriousness of your actions.
Mistakes are oftentimes more complex than simply one wrong word or act. Explore all of the reasons your behavior negatively affected her. Demonstrate how much you recognize you hurt her so she may be more likely to appreciate and forgive you.
For instance, if you didn’t notice or mention her new haircut and it hurt her feelings, you could apologize and text something like, “I know you were trying something new and you wanted to see what I thought about it. It takes guts to take a chance like that and it’s really not okay that I didn’t ask you about it or tell you what I thought.”
6. Don’t try to justify your mistakes.
Keep the focus of your apology on her not yourself.
Similarly to avoiding trying to make excuses or shift the blame for your actions, it’s also important that you not try to deflect or minimize your behavior. It’ll make it seem like you don’t respect her feelings. Don’t make your apology about yourself. Instead, talk about how you’ve affected negatively them and how much you regret it.
For example, try messaging, “I know I hurt your feelings and I’m so sorry” instead of “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
7. Let her talk about her feelings.
It may help her heal from the damage you’ve done.
An apology is really the first step for reconciling with a girl that you hurt. Try not to do all of the talking or keep the conversation focused solely on how sorry you are. Ask her what she thinks and how she feels after you make your apology. Give her a chance to express herself.
Keep it simple and send something like, “Can you tell me what you’re thinking?” or “How are you feeling about things?”
8. Tell her you want to make up for your mistakes.
Offer to make amends and improve your future behavior.
Ask her if there’s something you can do to make things right. Show her you’re ready and willing to do whatever it takes to fix any damage your mistakes have made.
Try something like, “If it’s alright with you, I’d like to make it up to you. I can do whatever it takes, just give me a chance.”
9. Ask her to forgive you.
It may help her let go of her anger.
After you’ve apologized, admitted your mistakes, and tried to make amends, ask her if she’s willing to accept your apology and forgive you. She may need some time to think it over, and that’s okay. Give her the time and space she needs. But she may also be ready to move on and let it go.
Send her something like, “I’m so sorry I hurt you and I’ll do anything for another chance. Will you forgive me?”
10. Follow up in person.
Repeat what you expressed the next time you see her.
It’s great to apologize over text to start patching things up between you and her, but you also need to follow through with your actions. Whenever you see her in person, tell her you’re sorry again and live up to any promises or commitments you made when you apologized.
For instance, if you had to cancel plans last minute and you texted her to apologize, the next time you see her in person, say something like, “Hey, I’m so sorry again about the other day.”
Tips
If she doesn’t accept your apology over text, try talking to her in person. Sometimes a face-to-face apology can be a better way to fix things.[12]
X
Research source
If she wants you to leave her alone for a while, give her some time to cool off before you start texting her to apologize.
Warnings
Don’t push too hard if she’s not ready to talk to you or forgive you yet. It could drive her away for good.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:11",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Put yourself in her shoes.\\nTry to see where she’s coming from.\\nBefore you start texting her, take some time to think about how you might feel if someone hurt you the way you hurt her. Empathize with her to better understand where she’s coming from and what you can say to make up for your mistakes. Try to understand how she’s feeling and it can help you figure out what you need to say to make up for it.\\nFor instance, if you forgot her birthday, try imagining how it would make you feel if she forgot about yours.\\n2. Tell her that you’re wrong and you’re sorry.\\nStart out by admitting it.\\nNo need to beat around the bush. Come right out and tell her that you messed up. Tell her you’re really sorry and mean it. She may forgive you right away for being up front about it, or it may take some time for her to come around. But the important thing is that you’re willing to admit when you’re wrong and apologize for it.\\nSend her something like, “I know I hurt you and I’m really sorry.” Keep it short, direct, and to the point.\\nEven if you weren’t fully in the wrong, you may be able to fix things by taking the first step and apologizing.\\n3. Take responsibility for your actions.\\nOwn up to your mistakes and avoid making excuses.\\nTell her that whatever you did to hurt her is your fault. Don’t try to shift the blame on anyone or anything else. She may be much more open to accepting your apology if you’re honest and willing to accept that what you did was wrong.\\nIf you did something like forget to text her back or call her when you said you would, you could try something like, “It’s totally my fault. I messed up.”\\nIf you’re willing to own your mistakes, she may admit to her own. For instance, if she got angry and yelled at you for ignoring her calls while you were busy, you could say something like, “I should have told you I wouldn’t be able to check my phone. That’s my mistake.” She may then apologize for getting upset.\\n4. Express remorse for what you did.\\nShow her that you feel bad for hurting her.\\nGo the extra step past simply admitting your mistakes and explain how badly you feel about hurting her. Talk about what emotions you’re feeling and how much you regret your words or actions.\\nFor instance, if you blew her off all weekend and it hurt her feelings, you could say something like, “I’m so sorry. I’ve been sick to my stomach all day about it. I’m so sorry I hurt you, I wish I could take it all back.”\\n5. Talk about why you were wrong.\\nShow her you understand the seriousness of your actions.\\nMistakes are oftentimes more complex than simply one wrong word or act. Explore all of the reasons your behavior negatively affected her. Demonstrate how much you recognize you hurt her so she may be more likely to appreciate and forgive you.\\nFor instance, if you didn’t notice or mention her new haircut and it hurt her feelings, you could apologize and text something like, “I know you were trying something new and you wanted to see what I thought about it. It takes guts to take a chance like that and it’s really not okay that I didn’t ask you about it or tell you what I thought.”\\n6. Don’t try to justify your mistakes.\\nKeep the focus of your apology on her not yourself.\\nSimilarly to avoiding trying to make excuses or shift the blame for your actions, it’s also important that you not try to deflect or minimize your behavior. It’ll make it seem like you don’t respect her feelings. Don’t make your apology about yourself. Instead, talk about how you’ve affected negatively them and how much you regret it.\\nFor example, try messaging, “I know I hurt your feelings and I’m so sorry” instead of “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”\\n7. Let her talk about her feelings.\\nIt may help her heal from the damage you’ve done.\\nAn apology is really the first step for reconciling with a girl that you hurt. Try not to do all of the talking or keep the conversation focused solely on how sorry you are. Ask her what she thinks and how she feels after you make your apology. Give her a chance to express herself.\\nKeep it simple and send something like, “Can you tell me what you’re thinking?” or “How are you feeling about things?”\\n8. Tell her you want to make up for your mistakes.\\nOffer to make amends and improve your future behavior.\\nAsk her if there’s something you can do to make things right. Show her you’re ready and willing to do whatever it takes to fix any damage your mistakes have made.\\nTry something like, “If it’s alright with you, I’d like to make it up to you. I can do whatever it takes, just give me a chance.”\\n9. Ask her to forgive you.\\nIt may help her let go of her anger.\\nAfter you’ve apologized, admitted your mistakes, and tried to make amends, ask her if she’s willing to accept your apology and forgive you. She may need some time to think it over, and that’s okay. Give her the time and space she needs. But she may also be ready to move on and let it go.\\nSend her something like, “I’m so sorry I hurt you and I’ll do anything for another chance. Will you forgive me?”\\n10. Follow up in person.\\nRepeat what you expressed the next time you see her.\\nIt’s great to apologize over text to start patching things up between you and her, but you also need to follow through with your actions. Whenever you see her in person, tell her you’re sorry again and live up to any promises or commitments you made when you apologized.\\nFor instance, if you had to cancel plans last minute and you texted her to apologize, the next time you see her in person, say something like, “Hey, I’m so sorry again about the other day.”\\nTips\\nIf she doesn’t accept your apology over text, try talking to her in person. Sometimes a face-to-face apology can be a better way to fix things.[12]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nIf she wants you to leave her alone for a while, give her some time to cool off before you start texting her to apologize.\\nWarnings\\nDon’t push too hard if she’s not ready to talk to you or forgive you yet. It could drive her away for good.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"There’s no worse feeling in the world than hurting someone you care about. If you said or did something to upset a girl in your life, you’ll want to apologize the right way so she’s more willing to forgive you. Apologizing over text can be tricky, but it’s not impossible if you go about it the right way!\\n\\nHere are 10 tips to keep in mind whenever you’re apologizing to a girl over text.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Put yourself in her shoes.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try to see where she’s coming from.\", \"描述\": \"Before you start texting her, take some time to think about how you might feel if someone hurt you the way you hurt her. Empathize with her to better understand where she’s coming from and what you can say to make up for your mistakes. Try to understand how she’s feeling and it can help you figure out what you need to say to make up for it.\\nFor instance, if you forgot her birthday, try imagining how it would make you feel if she forgot about yours.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tell her that you’re wrong and you’re sorry.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start out by admitting it.\", \"描述\": \"No need to beat around the bush. Come right out and tell her that you messed up. Tell her you’re really sorry and mean it. She may forgive you right away for being up front about it, or it may take some time for her to come around. But the important thing is that you’re willing to admit when you’re wrong and apologize for it.\\nSend her something like, “I know I hurt you and I’m really sorry.” Keep it short, direct, and to the point.\\nEven if you weren’t fully in the wrong, you may be able to fix things by taking the first step and apologizing.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take responsibility for your actions.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Own up to your mistakes and avoid making excuses.\", \"描述\": \"Tell her that whatever you did to hurt her is your fault. Don’t try to shift the blame on anyone or anything else. She may be much more open to accepting your apology if you’re honest and willing to accept that what you did was wrong.\\nIf you did something like forget to text her back or call her when you said you would, you could try something like, “It’s totally my fault. I messed up.”\\nIf you’re willing to own your mistakes, she may admit to her own. For instance, if she got angry and yelled at you for ignoring her calls while you were busy, you could say something like, “I should have told you I wouldn’t be able to check my phone. That’s my mistake.” She may then apologize for getting upset.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Express remorse for what you did.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show her that you feel bad for hurting her.\", \"描述\": \"Go the extra step past simply admitting your mistakes and explain how badly you feel about hurting her. Talk about what emotions you’re feeling and how much you regret your words or actions.\\nFor instance, if you blew her off all weekend and it hurt her feelings, you could say something like, “I’m so sorry. I’ve been sick to my stomach all day about it. I’m so sorry I hurt you, I wish I could take it all back.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Talk about why you were wrong.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show her you understand the seriousness of your actions.\", \"描述\": \"Mistakes are oftentimes more complex than simply one wrong word or act. Explore all of the reasons your behavior negatively affected her. Demonstrate how much you recognize you hurt her so she may be more likely to appreciate and forgive you.\\nFor instance, if you didn’t notice or mention her new haircut and it hurt her feelings, you could apologize and text something like, “I know you were trying something new and you wanted to see what I thought about it. It takes guts to take a chance like that and it’s really not okay that I didn’t ask you about it or tell you what I thought.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don’t try to justify your mistakes.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep the focus of your apology on her not yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Similarly to avoiding trying to make excuses or shift the blame for your actions, it’s also important that you not try to deflect or minimize your behavior. It’ll make it seem like you don’t respect her feelings. Don’t make your apology about yourself. Instead, talk about how you’ve affected negatively them and how much you regret it.\\nFor example, try messaging, “I know I hurt your feelings and I’m so sorry” instead of “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Let her talk about her feelings.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It may help her heal from the damage you’ve done.\", \"描述\": \"An apology is really the first step for reconciling with a girl that you hurt. Try not to do all of the talking or keep the conversation focused solely on how sorry you are. Ask her what she thinks and how she feels after you make your apology. Give her a chance to express herself.\\nKeep it simple and send something like, “Can you tell me what you’re thinking?” or “How are you feeling about things?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Tell her you want to make up for your mistakes.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Offer to make amends and improve your future behavior.\", \"描述\": \"Ask her if there’s something you can do to make things right. Show her you’re ready and willing to do whatever it takes to fix any damage your mistakes have made.\\nTry something like, “If it’s alright with you, I’d like to make it up to you. I can do whatever it takes, just give me a chance.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Ask her to forgive you.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It may help her let go of her anger.\", \"描述\": \"After you’ve apologized, admitted your mistakes, and tried to make amends, ask her if she’s willing to accept your apology and forgive you. She may need some time to think it over, and that’s okay. Give her the time and space she needs. But she may also be ready to move on and let it go.\\nSend her something like, “I’m so sorry I hurt you and I’ll do anything for another chance. Will you forgive me?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Follow up in person.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Repeat what you expressed the next time you see her.\", \"描述\": \"It’s great to apologize over text to start patching things up between you and her, but you also need to follow through with your actions. Whenever you see her in person, tell her you’re sorry again and live up to any promises or commitments you made when you apologized.\\nFor instance, if you had to cancel plans last minute and you texted her to apologize, the next time you see her in person, say something like, “Hey, I’m so sorry again about the other day.”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If she doesn’t accept your apology over text, try talking to her in person. Sometimes a face-to-face apology can be a better way to fix things.[12]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"If she wants you to leave her alone for a while, give her some time to cool off before you start texting her to apologize.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don’t push too hard if she’s not ready to talk to you or forgive you yet. It could drive her away for good.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,802 | How to Apologize to a Guy | 1. Preparing for Good Apology
1-1. Wait until you have time off after a fight.
If you have adrenaline pumping through you, you are less likely to express yourself adequately when you apologize. Most men will understand if you need to take a moment for yourself, even if you are in the wrong.
For example, say something like "I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed right now, so I need a little bit of time by myself to cool off, but we can talk about this when I come back."
1-2. Empathize.
Try to think of what he’s feeling. If you did something wrong, determine how you’d feel if it were done to you. Empathizing with the one you hurt is an essential part of the recovery process.
1-3. Don’t be passive aggressive.
A common mistake some women and men in relationships make is having an ulterior motive to your apology. If you plan on saying “I’m sorry, but…” it is not a real apology.
Passive aggression can come in many forms, like sarcasm, such as "I'm sorry I'm such an awful girlfriend," or trying to shift the blame, such as "I'm sorry your feelings got hurt."
1-4. Broach the subject.
After you've collected your thoughts and you're prepared to apologize, you need to think about how to start the conversation. Wait for moment when nothing distracting is going on, when the two of you are alone, and not pressed for time. Long car rides can be good for this, or at night when the two of you are eating dinner. Say something along the lines of "If now is a good time, I'd like to apologize for what I did." Get straight to the point.
If he says now isn't a good time, don't press the issue, just wait for a better opportunity. If the reason it isn't a good time is because he's still really angry about the issue, let him know briefly that you understand why he's angry and you are there to talk about it when ever he's ready and wants to.
2. Expressing Your Regret
2-1. Express regret and remorse.
Look him in the eyes and say “I’m sorry,” and paraphrase what you are sorry for. It's important that you make clear that you understand exactly how you've hurt him. Including what happened will let him know you listened and considered his thoughts.
For example, if you're apologizing for yelling at your boyfriend for something you knew wasn't his fault, you might say, "I'm sorry I lashed out at you last night over something you had no responsibility for. I understand how this made you feel like I didn't care about your feelings and was just using you to selfishly take out my anger."
2-2. Take full responsibility for your actions.
Instead of including a reason that you would have behaved this way, you should refrain from giving your feelings on the situation immediately. Giving excuses for your behavior will make it sound like you're not really sorry.
For example, instead of saying, "I'm sorry I acted the way I did. I was just really frustrated with things at work and I had a headache that was making me cranky," you should just say, "I'm sorry I acted the way I did. I had no right to be like that to you."
If he wants to know why you acted the way you did, he can ask you. Then, you can explain your behavior.
Insincere apologies often express a regret for being caught, rather than actual remorse.
2-3. Acknowledge repercussions, if there are any.
For example, saying “I understand it will be hard to trust me” will help him to understand that you have considered how your actions affect him. It's wise to let him know you don't expect immediate and total forgiveness.
2-4. Keep it short.
Cut down everything you want to say to short, straightforward statements. Get your remorse, understanding, and acknowledgment across without going on to much. This will both give him more time to let out what he needs to say, and avoid any sort of miscommunication
3. Moving Forward
3-1. Suggest reparations.
While this does not apply to all small offenses, it can help in more serious situations. The best way to suggest reparations is to suggest how you are going to change bad behavior or habits in the future.
Another way to suggest reparations is to ask “What can I do to make this better?” Then let him know you'll take his comments to heart.
3-2. Allow him a chance to speak.
Try to keep the apology short and sweet. It will be less muddled and allow for a better conversation. A good apology should be a dialogue, not a monologue.
3-3. Try not to get defensive.
There's a good chance that he is still angry. It's important that you keep your cool during the apology. Listen and express additional regret, if you feel it is necessary, but don't turn the apology into an argument.
3-4. Move on.
Stop talking about it once he has accepted the apology. Men often find it easier to accept an apology at face value and move on without resentment; so don’t bring it up unless it becomes an issue again.
Tips
Asking for forgiveness can sometimes be substituted in place of reparations. However, asking someone to move on before they are ready indicates that you are not apologizing for their benefit. Try a statement like “I hope you will be able to forgive me in time” if you are unsure how to ask.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:11",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing for Good Apology\\n1-1. Wait until you have time off after a fight.\\nIf you have adrenaline pumping through you, you are less likely to express yourself adequately when you apologize. Most men will understand if you need to take a moment for yourself, even if you are in the wrong.\\nFor example, say something like \\\"I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed right now, so I need a little bit of time by myself to cool off, but we can talk about this when I come back.\\\"\\n1-2. Empathize.\\nTry to think of what he’s feeling. If you did something wrong, determine how you’d feel if it were done to you. Empathizing with the one you hurt is an essential part of the recovery process.\\n1-3. Don’t be passive aggressive.\\nA common mistake some women and men in relationships make is having an ulterior motive to your apology. If you plan on saying “I’m sorry, but…” it is not a real apology.\\nPassive aggression can come in many forms, like sarcasm, such as \\\"I'm sorry I'm such an awful girlfriend,\\\" or trying to shift the blame, such as \\\"I'm sorry your feelings got hurt.\\\"\\n1-4. Broach the subject.\\nAfter you've collected your thoughts and you're prepared to apologize, you need to think about how to start the conversation. Wait for moment when nothing distracting is going on, when the two of you are alone, and not pressed for time. Long car rides can be good for this, or at night when the two of you are eating dinner. Say something along the lines of \\\"If now is a good time, I'd like to apologize for what I did.\\\" Get straight to the point.\\nIf he says now isn't a good time, don't press the issue, just wait for a better opportunity. If the reason it isn't a good time is because he's still really angry about the issue, let him know briefly that you understand why he's angry and you are there to talk about it when ever he's ready and wants to.\\n2. Expressing Your Regret\\n2-1. Express regret and remorse.\\nLook him in the eyes and say “I’m sorry,” and paraphrase what you are sorry for. It's important that you make clear that you understand exactly how you've hurt him. Including what happened will let him know you listened and considered his thoughts.\\nFor example, if you're apologizing for yelling at your boyfriend for something you knew wasn't his fault, you might say, \\\"I'm sorry I lashed out at you last night over something you had no responsibility for. I understand how this made you feel like I didn't care about your feelings and was just using you to selfishly take out my anger.\\\"\\n2-2. Take full responsibility for your actions.\\nInstead of including a reason that you would have behaved this way, you should refrain from giving your feelings on the situation immediately. Giving excuses for your behavior will make it sound like you're not really sorry.\\nFor example, instead of saying, \\\"I'm sorry I acted the way I did. I was just really frustrated with things at work and I had a headache that was making me cranky,\\\" you should just say, \\\"I'm sorry I acted the way I did. I had no right to be like that to you.\\\"\\nIf he wants to know why you acted the way you did, he can ask you. Then, you can explain your behavior.\\nInsincere apologies often express a regret for being caught, rather than actual remorse.\\n2-3. Acknowledge repercussions, if there are any.\\nFor example, saying “I understand it will be hard to trust me” will help him to understand that you have considered how your actions affect him. It's wise to let him know you don't expect immediate and total forgiveness.\\n2-4. Keep it short.\\nCut down everything you want to say to short, straightforward statements. Get your remorse, understanding, and acknowledgment across without going on to much. This will both give him more time to let out what he needs to say, and avoid any sort of miscommunication\\n3. Moving Forward\\n3-1. Suggest reparations.\\nWhile this does not apply to all small offenses, it can help in more serious situations. The best way to suggest reparations is to suggest how you are going to change bad behavior or habits in the future.\\nAnother way to suggest reparations is to ask “What can I do to make this better?” Then let him know you'll take his comments to heart.\\n3-2. Allow him a chance to speak.\\nTry to keep the apology short and sweet. It will be less muddled and allow for a better conversation. A good apology should be a dialogue, not a monologue.\\n3-3. Try not to get defensive.\\nThere's a good chance that he is still angry. It's important that you keep your cool during the apology. Listen and express additional regret, if you feel it is necessary, but don't turn the apology into an argument.\\n3-4. Move on.\\nStop talking about it once he has accepted the apology. Men often find it easier to accept an apology at face value and move on without resentment; so don’t bring it up unless it becomes an issue again.\\nTips\\nAsking for forgiveness can sometimes be substituted in place of reparations. However, asking someone to move on before they are ready indicates that you are not apologizing for their benefit. Try a statement like “I hope you will be able to forgive me in time” if you are unsure how to ask.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Everyone can benefit from improving their apology skills. Apologizing for a wrong-doing is a tricky thing that requires much social and emotional sensitivity. Whether it's due to nature or nurture, or a mixture of both, guys and girls tend to have different needs when it comes to receiving an apology. The recipe for a good apology to a man will include sincerity, brevity, remorse and a commitment to moving on.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing for Good Apology\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wait until you have time off after a fight.\", \"描述\": \"If you have adrenaline pumping through you, you are less likely to express yourself adequately when you apologize. Most men will understand if you need to take a moment for yourself, even if you are in the wrong.\\nFor example, say something like \\\"I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed right now, so I need a little bit of time by myself to cool off, but we can talk about this when I come back.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Empathize.\", \"描述\": \"Try to think of what he’s feeling. If you did something wrong, determine how you’d feel if it were done to you. Empathizing with the one you hurt is an essential part of the recovery process.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t be passive aggressive.\", \"描述\": \"A common mistake some women and men in relationships make is having an ulterior motive to your apology. If you plan on saying “I’m sorry, but…” it is not a real apology.\\nPassive aggression can come in many forms, like sarcasm, such as \\\"I'm sorry I'm such an awful girlfriend,\\\" or trying to shift the blame, such as \\\"I'm sorry your feelings got hurt.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Broach the subject.\", \"描述\": \"After you've collected your thoughts and you're prepared to apologize, you need to think about how to start the conversation. Wait for moment when nothing distracting is going on, when the two of you are alone, and not pressed for time. Long car rides can be good for this, or at night when the two of you are eating dinner. Say something along the lines of \\\"If now is a good time, I'd like to apologize for what I did.\\\" Get straight to the point.\\nIf he says now isn't a good time, don't press the issue, just wait for a better opportunity. If the reason it isn't a good time is because he's still really angry about the issue, let him know briefly that you understand why he's angry and you are there to talk about it when ever he's ready and wants to.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Expressing Your Regret\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Express regret and remorse.\", \"描述\": \"Look him in the eyes and say “I’m sorry,” and paraphrase what you are sorry for. It's important that you make clear that you understand exactly how you've hurt him. Including what happened will let him know you listened and considered his thoughts.\\nFor example, if you're apologizing for yelling at your boyfriend for something you knew wasn't his fault, you might say, \\\"I'm sorry I lashed out at you last night over something you had no responsibility for. I understand how this made you feel like I didn't care about your feelings and was just using you to selfishly take out my anger.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take full responsibility for your actions.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of including a reason that you would have behaved this way, you should refrain from giving your feelings on the situation immediately. Giving excuses for your behavior will make it sound like you're not really sorry.\\nFor example, instead of saying, \\\"I'm sorry I acted the way I did. I was just really frustrated with things at work and I had a headache that was making me cranky,\\\" you should just say, \\\"I'm sorry I acted the way I did. I had no right to be like that to you.\\\"\\nIf he wants to know why you acted the way you did, he can ask you. Then, you can explain your behavior.\\nInsincere apologies often express a regret for being caught, rather than actual remorse.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge repercussions, if there are any.\", \"描述\": \"For example, saying “I understand it will be hard to trust me” will help him to understand that you have considered how your actions affect him. It's wise to let him know you don't expect immediate and total forgiveness.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep it short.\", \"描述\": \"Cut down everything you want to say to short, straightforward statements. Get your remorse, understanding, and acknowledgment across without going on to much. This will both give him more time to let out what he needs to say, and avoid any sort of miscommunication\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Moving Forward\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Suggest reparations.\", \"描述\": \"While this does not apply to all small offenses, it can help in more serious situations. The best way to suggest reparations is to suggest how you are going to change bad behavior or habits in the future.\\nAnother way to suggest reparations is to ask “What can I do to make this better?” Then let him know you'll take his comments to heart.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Allow him a chance to speak.\", \"描述\": \"Try to keep the apology short and sweet. It will be less muddled and allow for a better conversation. A good apology should be a dialogue, not a monologue.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try not to get defensive.\", \"描述\": \"There's a good chance that he is still angry. It's important that you keep your cool during the apology. Listen and express additional regret, if you feel it is necessary, but don't turn the apology into an argument.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Move on.\", \"描述\": \"Stop talking about it once he has accepted the apology. Men often find it easier to accept an apology at face value and move on without resentment; so don’t bring it up unless it becomes an issue again.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Asking for forgiveness can sometimes be substituted in place of reparations. However, asking someone to move on before they are ready indicates that you are not apologizing for their benefit. Try a statement like “I hope you will be able to forgive me in time” if you are unsure how to ask.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
1,803 | How to Apologize to a Leo | 1. Calming a Fiery Temperament
1-1. Give them a chance to cool off.
The Leo sign is associated with the element of fire. Because of this, Leos tend to be high spirited and quick tempered. If you’ve upset a Leo so much that an apology is in order, give them a chance to cool down first. A Leo’s fiery temperament makes it very difficult to approach them immediately after they’ve been angered. Once they calm down a bit, Leos think more clearly and logically.
If you attempt to rationally engage too quickly, Leos are likely to lash out.
At minimum, give a Leo about 20 minutes or so after an incident before you approach them to apologize. By then, you should be able to have a logical conversation with them.
1-2. Allow them to vent.
Once they cool down, Leos are going to need to vent a bit. It might be unpleasant to sit through, but let it happen. They’ll burn off some of their initial anger and reduce a lot of their frustration this way. After venting their frustration, Leos will become more receptive to rational thought.
Avoid interrupting a Leo who is venting.
Give them the spotlight and allow them to say what they need to say.
1-3. Make empathetic statements.
These statements are phrased so that they do not fuel anger. Instead, they reflect what an angry person is saying back to them in a non-threatening way. During the venting process, start using empathetic statements to calm the person down. The venting will begin to slow down and then eventually stop as the person runs out of steam. These statements usually being with “So you…”
Example: A Leo might say, “I was trying to get your attention because I needed your help upstairs. But you just sat there talking on the telephone.”
You should reply with, “So you felt that I ignored you when you needed help.”
Example: A Leo might say, “I wouldn’t have interrupted your phone call unless it was important. I expected you to pay attention and come help me.”
You should reply with, “So you felt the interruption was necessary and I should have recognized that.”
1-4. Explain how much you appreciate them.
Leos are very self-sufficient, but they have a deep need for the love and admiration of others. Their fiery temperament is the source of many good qualities, but they do tend to act a bit like a spoiled child when they feel they’ve been slighted. What they need most, in order to forgive you, is the reassurance that you love and appreciate them.
Leos do not like to be ignored. After the initial cool down, step in as soon as possible.
Once you diffuse the worst of the situation, go to great lengths to reassure them of your appreciation and affection.
2. Appealing to Their Inner Lion
2-1. Treat them like royalty.
Symbolically, the Leo sign is associated with the lion. Like the lion, they feel they are the kings/queens of their domain. A Leo will react positively if you express loyalty and adoration. Along with your apology, lavish them with attention and pamper them.
Leos don’t like to be unhappy, and they are quick to forgive when the apology is done right.
Offering a small, thoughtful gift along with your apology might also be effective.
2-2. Compliment them.
Since Leos like to be lavished with attention, an apology might be more effective if you work in a few sincere compliments. Leos love the attention and they never tire of hearing good things about themselves. It might feel a little over-the-top or strange to couple an apology with compliments, but give it a try.
Example: “I really look up to you because of how hard-working you are. I’m really sorry that I didn’t finish my part of the project, and I understand why it would upset you.”
Example: “I know how much you value friendship – it’s one of my favorite things about you. Anyone would be upset if their best friend forgot their birthday, but I know it’s especially hurtful to you and I’m very sorry.”
2-3. Give them the spotlight.
Leos have a flair for the dramatic and they want to be the center of attention. If you’ve upset a Leo, be prepared to give them your complete attention. Allow them the chance to fully explain their thoughts and feelings about the matter. Don’t interrupt them. If they clam up at first, encourage them to open up. It won’t take much.
Example: “I’m know I’ve upset you and I’m very sorry. Can you tell me how you’re feeling about this situation?”
Example: “Please tell me exactly what you’re thinking and feeling – I know that I’ve offended you, and I want to make sure I never repeat this same mistake.”
2-4. Be sincere.
When a Leo feels hurt, they will make sure you know it. It's best to take them aside for an earnest and private conversation. Explain that you are sincerely sorry, and that you'll be more careful with their feelings. Look them directly in the eye during the apology. Speak in a serious tone. Leave behind your cell phone and other distractions, since Leos will always want your full attention.
Show them respect, love and kindness – you’ll find that a Leo will get over a situation pretty quickly when you do.
Leos are loyal to their friends. In general, they are very forgiving and don’t usually hold a grudge.
3. Stroking Their Ego
3-1. Flatter them.
Leos tend to be self-absorbed and a little arrogant. Praise and flattery will appeal to their ego. They need to feel respected and adored in equal amounts. Shower them with flattering statements that focus on their best qualities. It might feel a little excessive to you, but a Leo will enjoy every second of it.
Example: “The presentation you gave at the meeting today was absolutely stellar. You’re always so prepared and you make it look so easy! I’m really sorry that I came in late.”
Example: “You are one of the most punctual people I know and I know how important being on time is to you. I’m sorry that I told you the wrong time and made you late.”
3-2. Apologize profusely.
A Leo tends to need a little convincing that you’re actually sorry. Along with being very sincere, apologize multiple times, in different ways. Once a Leo sees that you are earnestly trying to win back their friendship, they are quick to forgive and they won’t look back.
Leos don’t dwell on the past, so once your apology has been accepted, you shouldn’t either.
3-3. Give them an expensive gift.
Leos are known to be lavish spenders and they enjoy the finer things in life. If you give a gift to a Leo, make sure it reflects their personality and appeals to their dramatic side. They love fine art and jewelry. Flashy clothing in vibrant colors will also get a good reaction from a Leo. Look for something sophisticated and stylish, which will align with their lifestyle. Dinner at an upscale restaurant is another idea a Leo will love.
You don’t have to break the bank on this if you’re on a budget. Just make sure that your gift shows a deep appreciation for who they are and what they like.
A Leo will appreciate the extravagant gesture and take it as a sign that you care for them.
3-4. Avoid criticisms.
Leos are extremely independent and they don’t handle criticisms well. When you're trying to apologize to a Leo, adding a criticism into the conversation will likely result in failure. If you do have criticisms, save them for another conversation.
It’s not that you can’t ever voice your honest thoughts to a Leo, but timing is everything.
Don’t expect to smooth anything over with a Leo if you follow up an apology with a criticism.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Calming a Fiery Temperament\\n1-1. Give them a chance to cool off.\\nThe Leo sign is associated with the element of fire. Because of this, Leos tend to be high spirited and quick tempered. If you’ve upset a Leo so much that an apology is in order, give them a chance to cool down first. A Leo’s fiery temperament makes it very difficult to approach them immediately after they’ve been angered. Once they calm down a bit, Leos think more clearly and logically.\\nIf you attempt to rationally engage too quickly, Leos are likely to lash out.\\nAt minimum, give a Leo about 20 minutes or so after an incident before you approach them to apologize. By then, you should be able to have a logical conversation with them.\\n1-2. Allow them to vent.\\nOnce they cool down, Leos are going to need to vent a bit. It might be unpleasant to sit through, but let it happen. They’ll burn off some of their initial anger and reduce a lot of their frustration this way. After venting their frustration, Leos will become more receptive to rational thought.\\nAvoid interrupting a Leo who is venting.\\nGive them the spotlight and allow them to say what they need to say.\\n1-3. Make empathetic statements.\\nThese statements are phrased so that they do not fuel anger. Instead, they reflect what an angry person is saying back to them in a non-threatening way. During the venting process, start using empathetic statements to calm the person down. The venting will begin to slow down and then eventually stop as the person runs out of steam. These statements usually being with “So you…” \\nExample: A Leo might say, “I was trying to get your attention because I needed your help upstairs. But you just sat there talking on the telephone.”\\nYou should reply with, “So you felt that I ignored you when you needed help.”\\nExample: A Leo might say, “I wouldn’t have interrupted your phone call unless it was important. I expected you to pay attention and come help me.”\\nYou should reply with, “So you felt the interruption was necessary and I should have recognized that.”\\n1-4. Explain how much you appreciate them.\\nLeos are very self-sufficient, but they have a deep need for the love and admiration of others. Their fiery temperament is the source of many good qualities, but they do tend to act a bit like a spoiled child when they feel they’ve been slighted. What they need most, in order to forgive you, is the reassurance that you love and appreciate them.\\nLeos do not like to be ignored. After the initial cool down, step in as soon as possible.\\nOnce you diffuse the worst of the situation, go to great lengths to reassure them of your appreciation and affection.\\n2. Appealing to Their Inner Lion\\n2-1. Treat them like royalty.\\nSymbolically, the Leo sign is associated with the lion. Like the lion, they feel they are the kings/queens of their domain. A Leo will react positively if you express loyalty and adoration. Along with your apology, lavish them with attention and pamper them. \\nLeos don’t like to be unhappy, and they are quick to forgive when the apology is done right.\\nOffering a small, thoughtful gift along with your apology might also be effective.\\n2-2. Compliment them.\\nSince Leos like to be lavished with attention, an apology might be more effective if you work in a few sincere compliments. Leos love the attention and they never tire of hearing good things about themselves. It might feel a little over-the-top or strange to couple an apology with compliments, but give it a try.\\nExample: “I really look up to you because of how hard-working you are. I’m really sorry that I didn’t finish my part of the project, and I understand why it would upset you.”\\nExample: “I know how much you value friendship – it’s one of my favorite things about you. Anyone would be upset if their best friend forgot their birthday, but I know it’s especially hurtful to you and I’m very sorry.”\\n2-3. Give them the spotlight.\\nLeos have a flair for the dramatic and they want to be the center of attention. If you’ve upset a Leo, be prepared to give them your complete attention. Allow them the chance to fully explain their thoughts and feelings about the matter. Don’t interrupt them. If they clam up at first, encourage them to open up. It won’t take much.\\nExample: “I’m know I’ve upset you and I’m very sorry. Can you tell me how you’re feeling about this situation?”\\nExample: “Please tell me exactly what you’re thinking and feeling – I know that I’ve offended you, and I want to make sure I never repeat this same mistake.”\\n2-4. Be sincere.\\nWhen a Leo feels hurt, they will make sure you know it. It's best to take them aside for an earnest and private conversation. Explain that you are sincerely sorry, and that you'll be more careful with their feelings. Look them directly in the eye during the apology. Speak in a serious tone. Leave behind your cell phone and other distractions, since Leos will always want your full attention.\\nShow them respect, love and kindness – you’ll find that a Leo will get over a situation pretty quickly when you do.\\nLeos are loyal to their friends. In general, they are very forgiving and don’t usually hold a grudge.\\n3. Stroking Their Ego\\n3-1. Flatter them.\\nLeos tend to be self-absorbed and a little arrogant. Praise and flattery will appeal to their ego. They need to feel respected and adored in equal amounts. Shower them with flattering statements that focus on their best qualities. It might feel a little excessive to you, but a Leo will enjoy every second of it.\\nExample: “The presentation you gave at the meeting today was absolutely stellar. You’re always so prepared and you make it look so easy! I’m really sorry that I came in late.”\\nExample: “You are one of the most punctual people I know and I know how important being on time is to you. I’m sorry that I told you the wrong time and made you late.”\\n3-2. Apologize profusely.\\nA Leo tends to need a little convincing that you’re actually sorry. Along with being very sincere, apologize multiple times, in different ways. Once a Leo sees that you are earnestly trying to win back their friendship, they are quick to forgive and they won’t look back. \\nLeos don’t dwell on the past, so once your apology has been accepted, you shouldn’t either.\\n3-3. Give them an expensive gift.\\nLeos are known to be lavish spenders and they enjoy the finer things in life. If you give a gift to a Leo, make sure it reflects their personality and appeals to their dramatic side. They love fine art and jewelry. Flashy clothing in vibrant colors will also get a good reaction from a Leo. Look for something sophisticated and stylish, which will align with their lifestyle. Dinner at an upscale restaurant is another idea a Leo will love.\\nYou don’t have to break the bank on this if you’re on a budget. Just make sure that your gift shows a deep appreciation for who they are and what they like.\\nA Leo will appreciate the extravagant gesture and take it as a sign that you care for them.\\n3-4. Avoid criticisms.\\nLeos are extremely independent and they don’t handle criticisms well. When you're trying to apologize to a Leo, adding a criticism into the conversation will likely result in failure. If you do have criticisms, save them for another conversation. \\nIt’s not that you can’t ever voice your honest thoughts to a Leo, but timing is everything.\\nDon’t expect to smooth anything over with a Leo if you follow up an apology with a criticism.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"In Astrology, Leos are people born between July 23 and August 22. They tend to be passionate, extroverted and full of life, which are all great qualities. However, they can also be aggressive and domineering. If you need to apologize to a Leo, you should go about it in a very particular way, since they are easily angered. Luckily, they are also quick to forgive, as long as you approach the situation carefully.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Calming a Fiery Temperament\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give them a chance to cool off.\", \"描述\": \"The Leo sign is associated with the element of fire. Because of this, Leos tend to be high spirited and quick tempered. If you’ve upset a Leo so much that an apology is in order, give them a chance to cool down first. A Leo’s fiery temperament makes it very difficult to approach them immediately after they’ve been angered. Once they calm down a bit, Leos think more clearly and logically.\\nIf you attempt to rationally engage too quickly, Leos are likely to lash out.\\nAt minimum, give a Leo about 20 minutes or so after an incident before you approach them to apologize. By then, you should be able to have a logical conversation with them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Allow them to vent.\", \"描述\": \"Once they cool down, Leos are going to need to vent a bit. It might be unpleasant to sit through, but let it happen. They’ll burn off some of their initial anger and reduce a lot of their frustration this way. After venting their frustration, Leos will become more receptive to rational thought.\\nAvoid interrupting a Leo who is venting.\\nGive them the spotlight and allow them to say what they need to say.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make empathetic statements.\", \"描述\": \"These statements are phrased so that they do not fuel anger. Instead, they reflect what an angry person is saying back to them in a non-threatening way. During the venting process, start using empathetic statements to calm the person down. The venting will begin to slow down and then eventually stop as the person runs out of steam. These statements usually being with “So you…” \\nExample: A Leo might say, “I was trying to get your attention because I needed your help upstairs. But you just sat there talking on the telephone.”\\nYou should reply with, “So you felt that I ignored you when you needed help.”\\nExample: A Leo might say, “I wouldn’t have interrupted your phone call unless it was important. I expected you to pay attention and come help me.”\\nYou should reply with, “So you felt the interruption was necessary and I should have recognized that.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Explain how much you appreciate them.\", \"描述\": \"Leos are very self-sufficient, but they have a deep need for the love and admiration of others. Their fiery temperament is the source of many good qualities, but they do tend to act a bit like a spoiled child when they feel they’ve been slighted. What they need most, in order to forgive you, is the reassurance that you love and appreciate them.\\nLeos do not like to be ignored. After the initial cool down, step in as soon as possible.\\nOnce you diffuse the worst of the situation, go to great lengths to reassure them of your appreciation and affection.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Appealing to Their Inner Lion\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Treat them like royalty.\", \"描述\": \"Symbolically, the Leo sign is associated with the lion. Like the lion, they feel they are the kings/queens of their domain. A Leo will react positively if you express loyalty and adoration. Along with your apology, lavish them with attention and pamper them. \\nLeos don’t like to be unhappy, and they are quick to forgive when the apology is done right.\\nOffering a small, thoughtful gift along with your apology might also be effective.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Compliment them.\", \"描述\": \"Since Leos like to be lavished with attention, an apology might be more effective if you work in a few sincere compliments. Leos love the attention and they never tire of hearing good things about themselves. It might feel a little over-the-top or strange to couple an apology with compliments, but give it a try.\\nExample: “I really look up to you because of how hard-working you are. I’m really sorry that I didn’t finish my part of the project, and I understand why it would upset you.”\\nExample: “I know how much you value friendship – it’s one of my favorite things about you. Anyone would be upset if their best friend forgot their birthday, but I know it’s especially hurtful to you and I’m very sorry.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give them the spotlight.\", \"描述\": \"Leos have a flair for the dramatic and they want to be the center of attention. If you’ve upset a Leo, be prepared to give them your complete attention. Allow them the chance to fully explain their thoughts and feelings about the matter. Don’t interrupt them. If they clam up at first, encourage them to open up. It won’t take much.\\nExample: “I’m know I’ve upset you and I’m very sorry. Can you tell me how you’re feeling about this situation?”\\nExample: “Please tell me exactly what you’re thinking and feeling – I know that I’ve offended you, and I want to make sure I never repeat this same mistake.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be sincere.\", \"描述\": \"When a Leo feels hurt, they will make sure you know it. It's best to take them aside for an earnest and private conversation. Explain that you are sincerely sorry, and that you'll be more careful with their feelings. Look them directly in the eye during the apology. Speak in a serious tone. Leave behind your cell phone and other distractions, since Leos will always want your full attention.\\nShow them respect, love and kindness – you’ll find that a Leo will get over a situation pretty quickly when you do.\\nLeos are loyal to their friends. In general, they are very forgiving and don’t usually hold a grudge.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stroking Their Ego\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Flatter them.\", \"描述\": \"Leos tend to be self-absorbed and a little arrogant. Praise and flattery will appeal to their ego. They need to feel respected and adored in equal amounts. Shower them with flattering statements that focus on their best qualities. It might feel a little excessive to you, but a Leo will enjoy every second of it.\\nExample: “The presentation you gave at the meeting today was absolutely stellar. You’re always so prepared and you make it look so easy! I’m really sorry that I came in late.”\\nExample: “You are one of the most punctual people I know and I know how important being on time is to you. I’m sorry that I told you the wrong time and made you late.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Apologize profusely.\", \"描述\": \"A Leo tends to need a little convincing that you’re actually sorry. Along with being very sincere, apologize multiple times, in different ways. Once a Leo sees that you are earnestly trying to win back their friendship, they are quick to forgive and they won’t look back. \\nLeos don’t dwell on the past, so once your apology has been accepted, you shouldn’t either.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give them an expensive gift.\", \"描述\": \"Leos are known to be lavish spenders and they enjoy the finer things in life. If you give a gift to a Leo, make sure it reflects their personality and appeals to their dramatic side. They love fine art and jewelry. Flashy clothing in vibrant colors will also get a good reaction from a Leo. Look for something sophisticated and stylish, which will align with their lifestyle. Dinner at an upscale restaurant is another idea a Leo will love.\\nYou don’t have to break the bank on this if you’re on a budget. Just make sure that your gift shows a deep appreciation for who they are and what they like.\\nA Leo will appreciate the extravagant gesture and take it as a sign that you care for them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid criticisms.\", \"描述\": \"Leos are extremely independent and they don’t handle criticisms well. When you're trying to apologize to a Leo, adding a criticism into the conversation will likely result in failure. If you do have criticisms, save them for another conversation. \\nIt’s not that you can’t ever voice your honest thoughts to a Leo, but timing is everything.\\nDon’t expect to smooth anything over with a Leo if you follow up an apology with a criticism.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,804 | How to Apologize to a Taurus | 1. Understanding Taurus
1-1. Appreciate Taurus’s positive traits.
Tauruses have many positive traits and make trusted friends, family members, managers and employees. They are independent financially and emotionally and love stability, so you can always count on a Taurus. They can also be very generous, down-to-earth people who love to entertain and enjoy the finer things in life, such as art, music and fine cuisine.
Tauruses are incredibly dependable, and this is a hallmark of their sign. They have a strong sense of duty and will always get the job done. They also thrive on feeling secure, and material objects bring them comfort.
Tauruses do have a gentle side as well. They are patient and can be very loving people.
Tauruses are persistent and will work very hard to get what they want. Obstacles, failures or setbacks do not discourage them.
1-2. Recognize Taurus’s negative side.
There are a lot of good things about the Taurus personality, but people with this sign also carry many negative traits that can be difficult to deal with. In order to understand how to approach a Taurus, you need to know where problems could arise. Tauruses can be stubborn, inflexible, self-indulgent, lazy, materialistic and possessive.
One of the most familiar characteristics of this sign is stubbornness. It is what helps keep Tauruses steady in life and achieve their goals. Tauruses do not like changing their minds. Know that when a Taurus doesn’t like the points you are making in your argument, he or she may just refuse to listen to you.
Tauruses love to indulge in pleasurable and materialistic luxuries. Because of this, they can come across as lazy and unmotivated. You must give them a good reason to step out of their comfort zone.
People born under the Taurus sign can be very attached to people and things, so they may become possessive, resentful or jealous easily.
Tauruses may not seem like they have a temper but they do. Always be wary of messing with the bull sign. If you do, steer clear until that temper subsides.
1-3. Get familiar with the way Tauruses love.
Venus, the Goddess of Love, is Taurus’s ruling planet. For this reason, Tauruses seek love for fulfillment and are rarely cynical about it. However, Tauruses do not make the most romantic partners because they value logic, facts and reality over emotions and other abstracts. Their approach to love can be raw, dogged and physical.
Tauruses possessive nature can make their partners feel as if they are being controlled instead of truly loved. Tauruses need to be reminded that lovers must be treated with dignity and respect.
When a Taurus is pursuing a lover, he or she can be resolute and unwavering. Tauruses will play the waiting game far longer than almost any other sign to get what they want. This can be a bad thing, though, if the one they are pursuing isn’t interested. Make sure a Taurus understands what you do and don’t want out of a relationship.
It may be difficult to compromise with Tauruses in relationships. They must be encouraged to ask questions and come to a mutual agreement instead of deciding things on their own.
1-4. Recognize how Tauruses communicate.
Tauruses are knowledgeable and articulate people. They are not passive-aggressive types who are afraid to tell you what they think. If you are wrong about something, a Taurus will let you know. Sometimes, this disapproval can sting quite a bit because they tend not to think about how what they say makes you feel.
Tauruses may come across as bossy because of their critical eye and attention to detail. They rarely refrain from telling you how they think you should do things. The best thing you can do is not take this personally because the Taurus in your life is only trying to make everything perfect for both of you.
1-5. Understand the Taurus sign and arguments.
People who fall under the Taurus sign are usually easy-going and laid back unless someone crosses the line or pushes their buttons. If you challenge a Taurus, be prepared for a lengthy conflict. A Taurus man or woman will argue obstinately, determined to make you agree with him or her. You will then see the legendary Taurus stubbornness firsthand, and while a Taurus will seem unmoved by the cruel words he or she says, these words can be deeply hurtful to you.
Be careful when mentioning when a Taurus does something wrong. Though these people have no qualms about telling you when there's a problem with you, they are sensitive to anything that threatens their pride. They will avoid facing others when they make a mistake, and often attempt to apologize too late. This can push people away and even make enemies.
2. Preparing to Apologize
2-1. Admit what you did wrong to yourself.
The first step to preparing an effective apology is to realize what you did wrong. Don’t make up excuses for why you did what you did or blame others. Be brutally honest with yourself, and determine what offense you committed that contributed to the conflict.
Consider how what you did or didn’t do effected the other person and his or her life.
2-2. Understand how the other person feels.
You can now comprehend the Taurus personality a little better, so take a moment to think of how he or she feels both during and after the offense. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes, and use the Taurus perspective to imagine these emotions very clearly—anger, hurt or disappointment.
2-3. Forgive yourself.
Recognize that you wish you hadn’t done the action or said the words you did but don’t beat yourself up about it. Everyone makes mistakes, but your apology will only be effective after you forgive yourself. This is because guilt is very distracting, and an apology is not about you but the person you wronged. Forgiving yourself, apologizing to the person you hurt and trying not to make the same mistake again are the best things you can do for a guilty conscience.
The purpose of guilt is to discourage you from going against your values, moral codes or beliefs. Know that holding onto guilt serves no positive function.
2-4. Forgive the Taurus.
Every conflict has 2 sides and at least 2 people contributing to the problem. If the conflict occurred with a Taurus, then chances are you were also hurt in some way. Your apology will not be sincere if you have not gotten over the harm he or she caused you. Even if you don’t say anything about it, you will not be able to forget the things that hurt you, and resentment may slip through in other ways.
Think of at least one reason that the other person reacted the way he or she did. Consider the earlier exercise when you put yourself in the other person’s shoes. It is easier to forgive someone when you see their point of view and understand motivations, emotions and personality traits. This type of compassion may encourage others to forgive you more easily as well.
Forgiving yourself and the person you wronged is not just fair but freeing. It allows you to take the first step to actually make the apology and then move on. Resolutions can strengthen relationships and allow you to let go of people who can't forgive.
2-5. Plan your apology.
You want your apology to be a positive experience for both of you because you probably won’t get a second chance at it, so don’t be impulsive. Think about the words you want to use to express your apology based off what you did wrong and how the person likely feels. A simple, “I’m sorry” can work well but may not be enough for larger mistakes and transgressions.
Don’t worry so much about the best way to make an apology. An apology of some sort is better than no apology. Overcome your anxiety and fear of being judged so you can make the apology.
You may choose to apologize in person, by phone or in writing. Face-to-face apologies are usually the best way to apologize to a Taurus because it shows your courage and sincerity--qualities this sign respects. However, it can be very stressful and remembering what to say under pressure can be difficult. Choosing to apologize by phone may be a better option here.
Apologizing in writing will allow you to perfect the message, especially if you have a hard time expressing yourself verbally. It gives both you and the person you wronged the time and space to consider your apology and forgive you. Though it is less stressful for you, it may not be the best option for a Taurus, unless he or she lives far from you.
2-6. Think of a solution.
Focus your energy on finding a remedy that will satisfy the other person. Ask yourself questions, such as: “How can I fix this issue and restore his or her faith in me?” or “What can I improve to ensure this situation won’t happen again?” The solution may be something simple or it may take more time and energy.
3. Apologizing Effectively
3-1. Offer a meaningful apology.
A meaningful apology communicates that you are sorry, that you accept responsibility and that you want to do something to make it better. This is also known as the 3 R's--Regret, Responsibility and Remedy. You need to express all 3 elements for your apology to be meaningful and effective.
Know that you are apologizing only for your actions not for who you are. When you realize this, making the apology becomes easier.
3-2. Say “I am sorry.”
A statement of regret for having caused the hurt or damage can serve to disarm someone who is angry and let the other person know that you care. Be honest and genuine when you offer an expression of empathy toward the person, and allow your remorse and sincerity show on your face. Remember that letting the other person know you are sorry proves that you are capable of recognizing your error and strong enough to admit it.
Even if you did not intend to hurt the other person, show him or her that you recognize something you did or didn’t do contributed to the person’s hurt or difficulty and makes you feel bad.
You might say: "I am so sorry. I know I hurt your feelings and I feel bad for it." Another idea is something like, "I regret hurting you. I’m sorry," or, "I’m truly sorry for any pain or inconvenience I may have caused you."
3-3. Acknowledge what you did.
Don’t get defensive, try to explain yourself or use “buts”. You already let the person know you are sorry, now you need to tell them what you’re sorry about in a clear, respectful and direct way. Admit where you messed up, and accept responsibility for the consequences of your actions.
People in the Taurus sign are straight-forward and frank. They will appreciate you accepting your mistake.
Even if there are valid reasons for why you did what you did, remember that these are not excuses that justify the consequences.
Examples of statements that show responsibility, include: "I realize that by being late I caused you to worry about me and lose out on some of our time together," or, "I know it’s hard for you to trust anyone, and my lying to you has only reinforced your inability to trust. There is no excuse for what I did. I shouldn’t have lied at all,” or, “I understand why you are angry. I shouldn’t have said that to you. I know it hurt you.”
3-4. Tell the person what action you intend to take.
Make a statement showing your willingness to try to remedy the problem. This may be a promise that you won’t (or will try not to) do it again or a statement that explains what you are going to do to make it better—such as pay for damages or go to therapy. You both understand that you can’t undo what was done no matter how much you wish you could, but you can still help repair the damage.
Examples include: “Let me make it up to you by paying for dinner next time," or “I'll let you know next time when your jealousy is making me upset instead of holding it in until I explode like that," or “I’m starting therapy tomorrow to try and understand why I am acting this way.”
3-5. Check your attitude.
How you feel about having to make an apology and what you want out of the apology will be communicated nonverbally. Make sure that your apology stems from a desire to reconnect, let the person know you are sorry and that you want to do something about what happened. Otherwise, your apology will not feel genuine and may seem manipulative, which makes it very unlikely to be accepted.
Don’t apologize just because someone else tells you, because it is expected in the situation or because it will get you what you want.
Accept others’ apologies as well. If you want people to accept when you are sorry, then do the same. If the other person apologizes to you sincerely, be gracious with your response. Thank them for trying to make things better.
3-6. Acknowledge that it’s too difficult for you to apologize.
If you just can’t come up with or give an adequate apology, then at least admit your inability to do so. If you know an apology would probably help but can’t follow through at the moment, tell the person something like, “I’m really mad right now. I know an apology would help but I’m not ready for that yet.” A Taurus may recognize that kind of stubbornness in themselves as well and appreciate your honesty.
3-7. Take action.
You can try to soften your Taurus by giving him or her something special, such as a home-cooked meal or a sentimental object that reminds the person of how you connected in the first place. Appeal to the loyalty that Taurus feels towards partners, friends and family as well as their love of material and luxury items. Always follow through with your promises to remedy the situation. If you said, for example, you’d go to therapy, then be sure to go.
If your Taurus is female, get some flowers or chocolates (if she likes them). Add a message like "Dear Pooja, I'm very sorry I acted like that the other day. I hope you forgive me. Yours, Pragathi.
If your Taurus is male, get something he wanted badly, such as a new phone case or facial hair trimmer. Get him a thoughtful gift, and apologize. You may also try giving him a funny sorry postcard.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:11",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Understanding Taurus\\n1-1. Appreciate Taurus’s positive traits.\\nTauruses have many positive traits and make trusted friends, family members, managers and employees. They are independent financially and emotionally and love stability, so you can always count on a Taurus. They can also be very generous, down-to-earth people who love to entertain and enjoy the finer things in life, such as art, music and fine cuisine.\\nTauruses are incredibly dependable, and this is a hallmark of their sign. They have a strong sense of duty and will always get the job done. They also thrive on feeling secure, and material objects bring them comfort.\\nTauruses do have a gentle side as well. They are patient and can be very loving people.\\nTauruses are persistent and will work very hard to get what they want. Obstacles, failures or setbacks do not discourage them.\\n1-2. Recognize Taurus’s negative side.\\nThere are a lot of good things about the Taurus personality, but people with this sign also carry many negative traits that can be difficult to deal with. In order to understand how to approach a Taurus, you need to know where problems could arise. Tauruses can be stubborn, inflexible, self-indulgent, lazy, materialistic and possessive.\\nOne of the most familiar characteristics of this sign is stubbornness. It is what helps keep Tauruses steady in life and achieve their goals. Tauruses do not like changing their minds. Know that when a Taurus doesn’t like the points you are making in your argument, he or she may just refuse to listen to you.\\nTauruses love to indulge in pleasurable and materialistic luxuries. Because of this, they can come across as lazy and unmotivated. You must give them a good reason to step out of their comfort zone.\\nPeople born under the Taurus sign can be very attached to people and things, so they may become possessive, resentful or jealous easily. \\nTauruses may not seem like they have a temper but they do. Always be wary of messing with the bull sign. If you do, steer clear until that temper subsides.\\n1-3. Get familiar with the way Tauruses love.\\nVenus, the Goddess of Love, is Taurus’s ruling planet. For this reason, Tauruses seek love for fulfillment and are rarely cynical about it. However, Tauruses do not make the most romantic partners because they value logic, facts and reality over emotions and other abstracts. Their approach to love can be raw, dogged and physical. \\nTauruses possessive nature can make their partners feel as if they are being controlled instead of truly loved. Tauruses need to be reminded that lovers must be treated with dignity and respect.\\nWhen a Taurus is pursuing a lover, he or she can be resolute and unwavering. Tauruses will play the waiting game far longer than almost any other sign to get what they want. This can be a bad thing, though, if the one they are pursuing isn’t interested. Make sure a Taurus understands what you do and don’t want out of a relationship.\\nIt may be difficult to compromise with Tauruses in relationships. They must be encouraged to ask questions and come to a mutual agreement instead of deciding things on their own.\\n1-4. Recognize how Tauruses communicate.\\nTauruses are knowledgeable and articulate people. They are not passive-aggressive types who are afraid to tell you what they think. If you are wrong about something, a Taurus will let you know. Sometimes, this disapproval can sting quite a bit because they tend not to think about how what they say makes you feel.\\nTauruses may come across as bossy because of their critical eye and attention to detail. They rarely refrain from telling you how they think you should do things. The best thing you can do is not take this personally because the Taurus in your life is only trying to make everything perfect for both of you.\\n1-5. Understand the Taurus sign and arguments.\\nPeople who fall under the Taurus sign are usually easy-going and laid back unless someone crosses the line or pushes their buttons. If you challenge a Taurus, be prepared for a lengthy conflict. A Taurus man or woman will argue obstinately, determined to make you agree with him or her. You will then see the legendary Taurus stubbornness firsthand, and while a Taurus will seem unmoved by the cruel words he or she says, these words can be deeply hurtful to you.\\nBe careful when mentioning when a Taurus does something wrong. Though these people have no qualms about telling you when there's a problem with you, they are sensitive to anything that threatens their pride. They will avoid facing others when they make a mistake, and often attempt to apologize too late. This can push people away and even make enemies.\\n2. Preparing to Apologize\\n2-1. Admit what you did wrong to yourself.\\nThe first step to preparing an effective apology is to realize what you did wrong. Don’t make up excuses for why you did what you did or blame others. Be brutally honest with yourself, and determine what offense you committed that contributed to the conflict.\\nConsider how what you did or didn’t do effected the other person and his or her life.\\n2-2. Understand how the other person feels.\\nYou can now comprehend the Taurus personality a little better, so take a moment to think of how he or she feels both during and after the offense. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes, and use the Taurus perspective to imagine these emotions very clearly—anger, hurt or disappointment.\\n2-3. Forgive yourself.\\nRecognize that you wish you hadn’t done the action or said the words you did but don’t beat yourself up about it. Everyone makes mistakes, but your apology will only be effective after you forgive yourself. This is because guilt is very distracting, and an apology is not about you but the person you wronged. Forgiving yourself, apologizing to the person you hurt and trying not to make the same mistake again are the best things you can do for a guilty conscience.\\nThe purpose of guilt is to discourage you from going against your values, moral codes or beliefs. Know that holding onto guilt serves no positive function.\\n2-4. Forgive the Taurus.\\nEvery conflict has 2 sides and at least 2 people contributing to the problem. If the conflict occurred with a Taurus, then chances are you were also hurt in some way. Your apology will not be sincere if you have not gotten over the harm he or she caused you. Even if you don’t say anything about it, you will not be able to forget the things that hurt you, and resentment may slip through in other ways. \\nThink of at least one reason that the other person reacted the way he or she did. Consider the earlier exercise when you put yourself in the other person’s shoes. It is easier to forgive someone when you see their point of view and understand motivations, emotions and personality traits. This type of compassion may encourage others to forgive you more easily as well.\\nForgiving yourself and the person you wronged is not just fair but freeing. It allows you to take the first step to actually make the apology and then move on. Resolutions can strengthen relationships and allow you to let go of people who can't forgive.\\n2-5. Plan your apology.\\nYou want your apology to be a positive experience for both of you because you probably won’t get a second chance at it, so don’t be impulsive. Think about the words you want to use to express your apology based off what you did wrong and how the person likely feels. A simple, “I’m sorry” can work well but may not be enough for larger mistakes and transgressions.\\nDon’t worry so much about the best way to make an apology. An apology of some sort is better than no apology. Overcome your anxiety and fear of being judged so you can make the apology.\\nYou may choose to apologize in person, by phone or in writing. Face-to-face apologies are usually the best way to apologize to a Taurus because it shows your courage and sincerity--qualities this sign respects. However, it can be very stressful and remembering what to say under pressure can be difficult. Choosing to apologize by phone may be a better option here.\\nApologizing in writing will allow you to perfect the message, especially if you have a hard time expressing yourself verbally. It gives both you and the person you wronged the time and space to consider your apology and forgive you. Though it is less stressful for you, it may not be the best option for a Taurus, unless he or she lives far from you.\\n2-6. Think of a solution.\\nFocus your energy on finding a remedy that will satisfy the other person. Ask yourself questions, such as: “How can I fix this issue and restore his or her faith in me?” or “What can I improve to ensure this situation won’t happen again?” The solution may be something simple or it may take more time and energy.\\n3. Apologizing Effectively\\n3-1. Offer a meaningful apology.\\nA meaningful apology communicates that you are sorry, that you accept responsibility and that you want to do something to make it better. This is also known as the 3 R's--Regret, Responsibility and Remedy. You need to express all 3 elements for your apology to be meaningful and effective.\\nKnow that you are apologizing only for your actions not for who you are. When you realize this, making the apology becomes easier.\\n3-2. Say “I am sorry.”\\nA statement of regret for having caused the hurt or damage can serve to disarm someone who is angry and let the other person know that you care. Be honest and genuine when you offer an expression of empathy toward the person, and allow your remorse and sincerity show on your face. Remember that letting the other person know you are sorry proves that you are capable of recognizing your error and strong enough to admit it.\\nEven if you did not intend to hurt the other person, show him or her that you recognize something you did or didn’t do contributed to the person’s hurt or difficulty and makes you feel bad.\\nYou might say: \\\"I am so sorry. I know I hurt your feelings and I feel bad for it.\\\" Another idea is something like, \\\"I regret hurting you. I’m sorry,\\\" or, \\\"I’m truly sorry for any pain or inconvenience I may have caused you.\\\"\\n3-3. Acknowledge what you did.\\nDon’t get defensive, try to explain yourself or use “buts”. You already let the person know you are sorry, now you need to tell them what you’re sorry about in a clear, respectful and direct way. Admit where you messed up, and accept responsibility for the consequences of your actions.\\nPeople in the Taurus sign are straight-forward and frank. They will appreciate you accepting your mistake.\\nEven if there are valid reasons for why you did what you did, remember that these are not excuses that justify the consequences.\\nExamples of statements that show responsibility, include: \\\"I realize that by being late I caused you to worry about me and lose out on some of our time together,\\\" or, \\\"I know it’s hard for you to trust anyone, and my lying to you has only reinforced your inability to trust. There is no excuse for what I did. I shouldn’t have lied at all,” or, “I understand why you are angry. I shouldn’t have said that to you. I know it hurt you.”\\n3-4. Tell the person what action you intend to take.\\nMake a statement showing your willingness to try to remedy the problem. This may be a promise that you won’t (or will try not to) do it again or a statement that explains what you are going to do to make it better—such as pay for damages or go to therapy. You both understand that you can’t undo what was done no matter how much you wish you could, but you can still help repair the damage. \\nExamples include: “Let me make it up to you by paying for dinner next time,\\\" or “I'll let you know next time when your jealousy is making me upset instead of holding it in until I explode like that,\\\" or “I’m starting therapy tomorrow to try and understand why I am acting this way.”\\n3-5. Check your attitude.\\nHow you feel about having to make an apology and what you want out of the apology will be communicated nonverbally. Make sure that your apology stems from a desire to reconnect, let the person know you are sorry and that you want to do something about what happened. Otherwise, your apology will not feel genuine and may seem manipulative, which makes it very unlikely to be accepted.\\nDon’t apologize just because someone else tells you, because it is expected in the situation or because it will get you what you want.\\nAccept others’ apologies as well. If you want people to accept when you are sorry, then do the same. If the other person apologizes to you sincerely, be gracious with your response. Thank them for trying to make things better.\\n3-6. Acknowledge that it’s too difficult for you to apologize.\\nIf you just can’t come up with or give an adequate apology, then at least admit your inability to do so. If you know an apology would probably help but can’t follow through at the moment, tell the person something like, “I’m really mad right now. I know an apology would help but I’m not ready for that yet.” A Taurus may recognize that kind of stubbornness in themselves as well and appreciate your honesty.\\n3-7. Take action.\\nYou can try to soften your Taurus by giving him or her something special, such as a home-cooked meal or a sentimental object that reminds the person of how you connected in the first place. Appeal to the loyalty that Taurus feels towards partners, friends and family as well as their love of material and luxury items. Always follow through with your promises to remedy the situation. If you said, for example, you’d go to therapy, then be sure to go.\\nIf your Taurus is female, get some flowers or chocolates (if she likes them). Add a message like \\\"Dear Pooja, I'm very sorry I acted like that the other day. I hope you forgive me. Yours, Pragathi.\\nIf your Taurus is male, get something he wanted badly, such as a new phone case or facial hair trimmer. Get him a thoughtful gift, and apologize. You may also try giving him a funny sorry postcard.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Taurus (April 21st-May 21st) is the 2nd sign in the Zodiac represented by the bull. Tauruses are dependable but stubborn. They don’t like disruptions, and though they can be patient with others to a point, will hold grudges as well.If you just picked a fight with a Taurus and want a sure-fire way to win him or her back, you will need to understand the Taurus personality, prepare an apology, apologize effectively and take action.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understanding Taurus\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Appreciate Taurus’s positive traits.\", \"描述\": \"Tauruses have many positive traits and make trusted friends, family members, managers and employees. They are independent financially and emotionally and love stability, so you can always count on a Taurus. They can also be very generous, down-to-earth people who love to entertain and enjoy the finer things in life, such as art, music and fine cuisine.\\nTauruses are incredibly dependable, and this is a hallmark of their sign. They have a strong sense of duty and will always get the job done. They also thrive on feeling secure, and material objects bring them comfort.\\nTauruses do have a gentle side as well. They are patient and can be very loving people.\\nTauruses are persistent and will work very hard to get what they want. Obstacles, failures or setbacks do not discourage them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Recognize Taurus’s negative side.\", \"描述\": \"There are a lot of good things about the Taurus personality, but people with this sign also carry many negative traits that can be difficult to deal with. In order to understand how to approach a Taurus, you need to know where problems could arise. Tauruses can be stubborn, inflexible, self-indulgent, lazy, materialistic and possessive.\\nOne of the most familiar characteristics of this sign is stubbornness. It is what helps keep Tauruses steady in life and achieve their goals. Tauruses do not like changing their minds. Know that when a Taurus doesn’t like the points you are making in your argument, he or she may just refuse to listen to you.\\nTauruses love to indulge in pleasurable and materialistic luxuries. Because of this, they can come across as lazy and unmotivated. You must give them a good reason to step out of their comfort zone.\\nPeople born under the Taurus sign can be very attached to people and things, so they may become possessive, resentful or jealous easily. \\nTauruses may not seem like they have a temper but they do. Always be wary of messing with the bull sign. If you do, steer clear until that temper subsides.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get familiar with the way Tauruses love.\", \"描述\": \"Venus, the Goddess of Love, is Taurus’s ruling planet. For this reason, Tauruses seek love for fulfillment and are rarely cynical about it. However, Tauruses do not make the most romantic partners because they value logic, facts and reality over emotions and other abstracts. Their approach to love can be raw, dogged and physical. \\nTauruses possessive nature can make their partners feel as if they are being controlled instead of truly loved. Tauruses need to be reminded that lovers must be treated with dignity and respect.\\nWhen a Taurus is pursuing a lover, he or she can be resolute and unwavering. Tauruses will play the waiting game far longer than almost any other sign to get what they want. This can be a bad thing, though, if the one they are pursuing isn’t interested. Make sure a Taurus understands what you do and don’t want out of a relationship.\\nIt may be difficult to compromise with Tauruses in relationships. They must be encouraged to ask questions and come to a mutual agreement instead of deciding things on their own.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Recognize how Tauruses communicate.\", \"描述\": \"Tauruses are knowledgeable and articulate people. They are not passive-aggressive types who are afraid to tell you what they think. If you are wrong about something, a Taurus will let you know. Sometimes, this disapproval can sting quite a bit because they tend not to think about how what they say makes you feel.\\nTauruses may come across as bossy because of their critical eye and attention to detail. They rarely refrain from telling you how they think you should do things. The best thing you can do is not take this personally because the Taurus in your life is only trying to make everything perfect for both of you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Understand the Taurus sign and arguments.\", \"描述\": \"People who fall under the Taurus sign are usually easy-going and laid back unless someone crosses the line or pushes their buttons. If you challenge a Taurus, be prepared for a lengthy conflict. A Taurus man or woman will argue obstinately, determined to make you agree with him or her. You will then see the legendary Taurus stubbornness firsthand, and while a Taurus will seem unmoved by the cruel words he or she says, these words can be deeply hurtful to you.\\nBe careful when mentioning when a Taurus does something wrong. Though these people have no qualms about telling you when there's a problem with you, they are sensitive to anything that threatens their pride. They will avoid facing others when they make a mistake, and often attempt to apologize too late. This can push people away and even make enemies.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Preparing to Apologize\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Admit what you did wrong to yourself.\", \"描述\": \"The first step to preparing an effective apology is to realize what you did wrong. Don’t make up excuses for why you did what you did or blame others. Be brutally honest with yourself, and determine what offense you committed that contributed to the conflict.\\nConsider how what you did or didn’t do effected the other person and his or her life.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Understand how the other person feels.\", \"描述\": \"You can now comprehend the Taurus personality a little better, so take a moment to think of how he or she feels both during and after the offense. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes, and use the Taurus perspective to imagine these emotions very clearly—anger, hurt or disappointment.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Forgive yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Recognize that you wish you hadn’t done the action or said the words you did but don’t beat yourself up about it. Everyone makes mistakes, but your apology will only be effective after you forgive yourself. This is because guilt is very distracting, and an apology is not about you but the person you wronged. Forgiving yourself, apologizing to the person you hurt and trying not to make the same mistake again are the best things you can do for a guilty conscience.\\nThe purpose of guilt is to discourage you from going against your values, moral codes or beliefs. Know that holding onto guilt serves no positive function.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Forgive the Taurus.\", \"描述\": \"Every conflict has 2 sides and at least 2 people contributing to the problem. If the conflict occurred with a Taurus, then chances are you were also hurt in some way. Your apology will not be sincere if you have not gotten over the harm he or she caused you. Even if you don’t say anything about it, you will not be able to forget the things that hurt you, and resentment may slip through in other ways. \\nThink of at least one reason that the other person reacted the way he or she did. Consider the earlier exercise when you put yourself in the other person’s shoes. It is easier to forgive someone when you see their point of view and understand motivations, emotions and personality traits. This type of compassion may encourage others to forgive you more easily as well.\\nForgiving yourself and the person you wronged is not just fair but freeing. It allows you to take the first step to actually make the apology and then move on. Resolutions can strengthen relationships and allow you to let go of people who can't forgive.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Plan your apology.\", \"描述\": \"You want your apology to be a positive experience for both of you because you probably won’t get a second chance at it, so don’t be impulsive. Think about the words you want to use to express your apology based off what you did wrong and how the person likely feels. A simple, “I’m sorry” can work well but may not be enough for larger mistakes and transgressions.\\nDon’t worry so much about the best way to make an apology. An apology of some sort is better than no apology. Overcome your anxiety and fear of being judged so you can make the apology.\\nYou may choose to apologize in person, by phone or in writing. Face-to-face apologies are usually the best way to apologize to a Taurus because it shows your courage and sincerity--qualities this sign respects. However, it can be very stressful and remembering what to say under pressure can be difficult. Choosing to apologize by phone may be a better option here.\\nApologizing in writing will allow you to perfect the message, especially if you have a hard time expressing yourself verbally. It gives both you and the person you wronged the time and space to consider your apology and forgive you. Though it is less stressful for you, it may not be the best option for a Taurus, unless he or she lives far from you.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Think of a solution.\", \"描述\": \"Focus your energy on finding a remedy that will satisfy the other person. Ask yourself questions, such as: “How can I fix this issue and restore his or her faith in me?” or “What can I improve to ensure this situation won’t happen again?” The solution may be something simple or it may take more time and energy.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Apologizing Effectively\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Offer a meaningful apology.\", \"描述\": \"A meaningful apology communicates that you are sorry, that you accept responsibility and that you want to do something to make it better. This is also known as the 3 R's--Regret, Responsibility and Remedy. You need to express all 3 elements for your apology to be meaningful and effective.\\nKnow that you are apologizing only for your actions not for who you are. When you realize this, making the apology becomes easier.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Say “I am sorry.”\", \"描述\": \"A statement of regret for having caused the hurt or damage can serve to disarm someone who is angry and let the other person know that you care. Be honest and genuine when you offer an expression of empathy toward the person, and allow your remorse and sincerity show on your face. Remember that letting the other person know you are sorry proves that you are capable of recognizing your error and strong enough to admit it.\\nEven if you did not intend to hurt the other person, show him or her that you recognize something you did or didn’t do contributed to the person’s hurt or difficulty and makes you feel bad.\\nYou might say: \\\"I am so sorry. I know I hurt your feelings and I feel bad for it.\\\" Another idea is something like, \\\"I regret hurting you. I’m sorry,\\\" or, \\\"I’m truly sorry for any pain or inconvenience I may have caused you.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge what you did.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t get defensive, try to explain yourself or use “buts”. You already let the person know you are sorry, now you need to tell them what you’re sorry about in a clear, respectful and direct way. Admit where you messed up, and accept responsibility for the consequences of your actions.\\nPeople in the Taurus sign are straight-forward and frank. They will appreciate you accepting your mistake.\\nEven if there are valid reasons for why you did what you did, remember that these are not excuses that justify the consequences.\\nExamples of statements that show responsibility, include: \\\"I realize that by being late I caused you to worry about me and lose out on some of our time together,\\\" or, \\\"I know it’s hard for you to trust anyone, and my lying to you has only reinforced your inability to trust. There is no excuse for what I did. I shouldn’t have lied at all,” or, “I understand why you are angry. I shouldn’t have said that to you. I know it hurt you.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tell the person what action you intend to take.\", \"描述\": \"Make a statement showing your willingness to try to remedy the problem. This may be a promise that you won’t (or will try not to) do it again or a statement that explains what you are going to do to make it better—such as pay for damages or go to therapy. You both understand that you can’t undo what was done no matter how much you wish you could, but you can still help repair the damage. \\nExamples include: “Let me make it up to you by paying for dinner next time,\\\" or “I'll let you know next time when your jealousy is making me upset instead of holding it in until I explode like that,\\\" or “I’m starting therapy tomorrow to try and understand why I am acting this way.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Check your attitude.\", \"描述\": \"How you feel about having to make an apology and what you want out of the apology will be communicated nonverbally. Make sure that your apology stems from a desire to reconnect, let the person know you are sorry and that you want to do something about what happened. Otherwise, your apology will not feel genuine and may seem manipulative, which makes it very unlikely to be accepted.\\nDon’t apologize just because someone else tells you, because it is expected in the situation or because it will get you what you want.\\nAccept others’ apologies as well. If you want people to accept when you are sorry, then do the same. If the other person apologizes to you sincerely, be gracious with your response. Thank them for trying to make things better.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge that it’s too difficult for you to apologize.\", \"描述\": \"If you just can’t come up with or give an adequate apology, then at least admit your inability to do so. If you know an apology would probably help but can’t follow through at the moment, tell the person something like, “I’m really mad right now. I know an apology would help but I’m not ready for that yet.” A Taurus may recognize that kind of stubbornness in themselves as well and appreciate your honesty.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Take action.\", \"描述\": \"You can try to soften your Taurus by giving him or her something special, such as a home-cooked meal or a sentimental object that reminds the person of how you connected in the first place. Appeal to the loyalty that Taurus feels towards partners, friends and family as well as their love of material and luxury items. Always follow through with your promises to remedy the situation. If you said, for example, you’d go to therapy, then be sure to go.\\nIf your Taurus is female, get some flowers or chocolates (if she likes them). Add a message like \\\"Dear Pooja, I'm very sorry I acted like that the other day. I hope you forgive me. Yours, Pragathi.\\nIf your Taurus is male, get something he wanted badly, such as a new phone case or facial hair trimmer. Get him a thoughtful gift, and apologize. You may also try giving him a funny sorry postcard.\"}]}]}}",
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1,805 | How to Apologize to a Teacher | 1. Establishing a Plan
1-1. Reflect on what you did wrong.
In order to make your apology sincere, you have to actually understand where you were at fault. There is a difference between being sorry you made your teacher mad and being sorry you did not do the homework that made your teacher mad. Understanding what you did wrong will help you figure out what to say to your teacher when you do apologize.
For example, you'd say one thing when apologizing for being rowdy in class, and you'd say a different thing when apologizing for forgetting your homework.
1-2. Practice ahead of time.
If you feel really nervous about apologizing to your teacher practice ahead of time. Write down what you want to say and practice in front of the mirror, a trusted friend, sibling, or parent. This way you will be able to get all of the kinks of the apology out before you are in front of the teacher.
Start with something simple, such as: "I am sorry for disrupting class." When you feel more comfortable, add: "I promise not to do it again."
1-3. Find a good time to talk to them.
The best time is when your teacher is not busy or trying to teach, which may be before or after school, during the teacher's lunch, or during a free period in their day. It is important that your apology is timely (preferably only a day or two after the incident), not three months after the incident.
Ask for a minute of their time: "Mr. Smith, may I please speak with you for a moment?”
Most teachers will write their office hours on the class green sheet. Office hours are a great time to visit your teacher and apologize.
2. Being Sincere
2-1. Say you are sorry.
Don’t talk around the point you might frustrate or confuse your teacher. Start immediately by saying “I am sorry” or “I apologize.” Don't mumble. Speak clearly and make eye contact. Don't look down or glance around the room.
Speaking clearly and making eye contact will help you appear more genuine. You don't want to appear insincere.
2-2. Explain why you are apologizing.
You can’t just simply say you are sorry and expect them to forgive you. Tell them what you are sorry for and your motivation for your actions, if you have any. Be as specific as possible.
Say something like, “Mrs. Peters, I am very sorry for how I behaved yesterday. It was not okay for me to talk loudly to Steve. I should have been paying attention to you teaching.”
You could also say, "I'm sorry for forgetting my homework Mrs. Stevens. I would still like to turn it in. I understand if I don't get credit."
2-3. Take responsibility.
Let your teacher know that you know you were in the wrong. Be genuine and sincere and don’t point the finger at someone else.
Don’t say “I am sorry for talking loudly with Steve, but it was his fault for talking to me.” Instead, say "I am sorry for talking to Steve. I should have been listening to you."
Don’t say “if” in your apology: “I am sorry if I was being disrespectful.” Instead say “I am sorry that I was being disrespectful.”
2-4. Don’t make excuses.
Admit that what you did was wrong. Don’t try to justify what you did with an excuse. If you are apologizing for not doing your homework, be honest but don’t make excuses. This will help make your apology seem more genuine. The teacher will also realize that you understand what you did wrong and are willing to take responsibility.
Don’t say: “I am sorry for not doing my homework but I didn’t do it because I had a soccer game yesterday.”
Instead say: “I am sorry for not doing my homework. It was my responsibly to find time to get it done.”
3. Strengthening Your Apology
3-1. Promise it won’t happen again and act upon it.
End with a promise that you will never repeat the behavior that caused you to apologize again. Intend to follow through with this promise. The apology will mean a lot more if it does not have an empty promise on the end. For example:
If you are apologizing for not doing your homework, start making sure to do your homework.
If you were talking loudly during class, make sure to correct this behavior. Don't talk loudly in class. If you must say something, raise your hand.
In general, demonstrate good classroom behavior by being respectful, doing your work, and staying on task.
3-2. Have appropriate body language.
What makes an apology much more meaningful is when it is in person. This shows that you have courage and allows your teacher to see your face and body language while you apologize. Your body language should show that you are sorry. For example:
Don’t put your hands on your hips or cross your arms. It will look as though you don’t care about the apology or are trying to challenge your teacher.
Be relaxed and make eye contact with your teacher. Keep your arms at your sides, and your back straight. This will make you appear more serious and genuine.
3-3. Write your teacher an apology note.
You can't replace an in-person apology, but you can add to your apology by giving your teacher a note or card to show you care. A simple note or handmade card saying you are sorry and what you are sorry for will be really appreciated by your teacher.
Use the same language in the note as you would when giving a verbal apology. This means no making excuses or putting the blame on someone else.
Use proper spelling and grammar. Don't write "Sorry I made U mad. =( " Instead, write "I apologize for disrupting class. It won't happen again."
3-4. Ask for forgiveness.
End your apology with a request for forgiveness, but don’t expect it in return. The important part is that you stop doing whatever you did that made you apologize. Following through with your promise to not do it again might be what they need to forgive you.
Keep it simple, but sincere. Say something like, “I hope that you can forgive me.”
Don't worry if your teacher doesn't forgive you. They might need time to think about your apology.
Tips
Don't apologize in a note or email. Always apologize in person because it is much more sincere and meaningful.
It is okay if you cry, but don’t fake cry.
Acknowledge your mistakes to let your teacher know that you know what you did wrong.
Warnings
Understand that if you have hurt their feelings bad enough, some teachers will not forgive you immediately.
Depending on the severity of your actions, you may or may not get in trouble with the administration, but always be ready to accept the consequences of your actions.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Establishing a Plan\\n1-1. Reflect on what you did wrong.\\nIn order to make your apology sincere, you have to actually understand where you were at fault. There is a difference between being sorry you made your teacher mad and being sorry you did not do the homework that made your teacher mad. Understanding what you did wrong will help you figure out what to say to your teacher when you do apologize.\\nFor example, you'd say one thing when apologizing for being rowdy in class, and you'd say a different thing when apologizing for forgetting your homework.\\n1-2. Practice ahead of time.\\nIf you feel really nervous about apologizing to your teacher practice ahead of time. Write down what you want to say and practice in front of the mirror, a trusted friend, sibling, or parent. This way you will be able to get all of the kinks of the apology out before you are in front of the teacher.\\nStart with something simple, such as: \\\"I am sorry for disrupting class.\\\" When you feel more comfortable, add: \\\"I promise not to do it again.\\\"\\n1-3. Find a good time to talk to them.\\nThe best time is when your teacher is not busy or trying to teach, which may be before or after school, during the teacher's lunch, or during a free period in their day. It is important that your apology is timely (preferably only a day or two after the incident), not three months after the incident.\\nAsk for a minute of their time: \\\"Mr. Smith, may I please speak with you for a moment?”\\nMost teachers will write their office hours on the class green sheet. Office hours are a great time to visit your teacher and apologize.\\n2. Being Sincere\\n2-1. Say you are sorry.\\nDon’t talk around the point you might frustrate or confuse your teacher. Start immediately by saying “I am sorry” or “I apologize.” Don't mumble. Speak clearly and make eye contact. Don't look down or glance around the room.\\nSpeaking clearly and making eye contact will help you appear more genuine. You don't want to appear insincere.\\n2-2. Explain why you are apologizing.\\nYou can’t just simply say you are sorry and expect them to forgive you. Tell them what you are sorry for and your motivation for your actions, if you have any. Be as specific as possible.\\nSay something like, “Mrs. Peters, I am very sorry for how I behaved yesterday. It was not okay for me to talk loudly to Steve. I should have been paying attention to you teaching.”\\nYou could also say, \\\"I'm sorry for forgetting my homework Mrs. Stevens. I would still like to turn it in. I understand if I don't get credit.\\\"\\n2-3. Take responsibility.\\nLet your teacher know that you know you were in the wrong. Be genuine and sincere and don’t point the finger at someone else.\\nDon’t say “I am sorry for talking loudly with Steve, but it was his fault for talking to me.” Instead, say \\\"I am sorry for talking to Steve. I should have been listening to you.\\\"\\nDon’t say “if” in your apology: “I am sorry if I was being disrespectful.” Instead say “I am sorry that I was being disrespectful.”\\n2-4. Don’t make excuses.\\nAdmit that what you did was wrong. Don’t try to justify what you did with an excuse. If you are apologizing for not doing your homework, be honest but don’t make excuses. This will help make your apology seem more genuine. The teacher will also realize that you understand what you did wrong and are willing to take responsibility.\\nDon’t say: “I am sorry for not doing my homework but I didn’t do it because I had a soccer game yesterday.”\\nInstead say: “I am sorry for not doing my homework. It was my responsibly to find time to get it done.”\\n3. Strengthening Your Apology\\n3-1. Promise it won’t happen again and act upon it.\\nEnd with a promise that you will never repeat the behavior that caused you to apologize again. Intend to follow through with this promise. The apology will mean a lot more if it does not have an empty promise on the end. For example:\\nIf you are apologizing for not doing your homework, start making sure to do your homework.\\nIf you were talking loudly during class, make sure to correct this behavior. Don't talk loudly in class. If you must say something, raise your hand.\\nIn general, demonstrate good classroom behavior by being respectful, doing your work, and staying on task.\\n3-2. Have appropriate body language.\\nWhat makes an apology much more meaningful is when it is in person. This shows that you have courage and allows your teacher to see your face and body language while you apologize. Your body language should show that you are sorry. For example:\\nDon’t put your hands on your hips or cross your arms. It will look as though you don’t care about the apology or are trying to challenge your teacher.\\nBe relaxed and make eye contact with your teacher. Keep your arms at your sides, and your back straight. This will make you appear more serious and genuine.\\n3-3. Write your teacher an apology note.\\nYou can't replace an in-person apology, but you can add to your apology by giving your teacher a note or card to show you care. A simple note or handmade card saying you are sorry and what you are sorry for will be really appreciated by your teacher. \\nUse the same language in the note as you would when giving a verbal apology. This means no making excuses or putting the blame on someone else.\\nUse proper spelling and grammar. Don't write \\\"Sorry I made U mad. =( \\\" Instead, write \\\"I apologize for disrupting class. It won't happen again.\\\"\\n3-4. Ask for forgiveness.\\nEnd your apology with a request for forgiveness, but don’t expect it in return. The important part is that you stop doing whatever you did that made you apologize. Following through with your promise to not do it again might be what they need to forgive you.\\nKeep it simple, but sincere. Say something like, “I hope that you can forgive me.”\\nDon't worry if your teacher doesn't forgive you. They might need time to think about your apology.\\nTips\\nDon't apologize in a note or email. Always apologize in person because it is much more sincere and meaningful.\\nIt is okay if you cry, but don’t fake cry.\\nAcknowledge your mistakes to let your teacher know that you know what you did wrong.\\nWarnings\\nUnderstand that if you have hurt their feelings bad enough, some teachers will not forgive you immediately.\\nDepending on the severity of your actions, you may or may not get in trouble with the administration, but always be ready to accept the consequences of your actions.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Sometimes we make mistakes. Nobody's perfect. But if you did something that hurt your teacher, it's important to apologize and make amends for what you did. Apologizing can take a lot of courage, but it will heal your relationship and improve your interactions in the future.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Establishing a Plan\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Reflect on what you did wrong.\", \"描述\": \"In order to make your apology sincere, you have to actually understand where you were at fault. There is a difference between being sorry you made your teacher mad and being sorry you did not do the homework that made your teacher mad. Understanding what you did wrong will help you figure out what to say to your teacher when you do apologize.\\nFor example, you'd say one thing when apologizing for being rowdy in class, and you'd say a different thing when apologizing for forgetting your homework.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice ahead of time.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel really nervous about apologizing to your teacher practice ahead of time. Write down what you want to say and practice in front of the mirror, a trusted friend, sibling, or parent. This way you will be able to get all of the kinks of the apology out before you are in front of the teacher.\\nStart with something simple, such as: \\\"I am sorry for disrupting class.\\\" When you feel more comfortable, add: \\\"I promise not to do it again.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find a good time to talk to them.\", \"描述\": \"The best time is when your teacher is not busy or trying to teach, which may be before or after school, during the teacher's lunch, or during a free period in their day. It is important that your apology is timely (preferably only a day or two after the incident), not three months after the incident.\\nAsk for a minute of their time: \\\"Mr. Smith, may I please speak with you for a moment?”\\nMost teachers will write their office hours on the class green sheet. Office hours are a great time to visit your teacher and apologize.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Sincere\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Say you are sorry.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t talk around the point you might frustrate or confuse your teacher. Start immediately by saying “I am sorry” or “I apologize.” Don't mumble. Speak clearly and make eye contact. Don't look down or glance around the room.\\nSpeaking clearly and making eye contact will help you appear more genuine. You don't want to appear insincere.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Explain why you are apologizing.\", \"描述\": \"You can’t just simply say you are sorry and expect them to forgive you. Tell them what you are sorry for and your motivation for your actions, if you have any. Be as specific as possible.\\nSay something like, “Mrs. Peters, I am very sorry for how I behaved yesterday. It was not okay for me to talk loudly to Steve. I should have been paying attention to you teaching.”\\nYou could also say, \\\"I'm sorry for forgetting my homework Mrs. Stevens. I would still like to turn it in. I understand if I don't get credit.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take responsibility.\", \"描述\": \"Let your teacher know that you know you were in the wrong. Be genuine and sincere and don’t point the finger at someone else.\\nDon’t say “I am sorry for talking loudly with Steve, but it was his fault for talking to me.” Instead, say \\\"I am sorry for talking to Steve. I should have been listening to you.\\\"\\nDon’t say “if” in your apology: “I am sorry if I was being disrespectful.” Instead say “I am sorry that I was being disrespectful.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don’t make excuses.\", \"描述\": \"Admit that what you did was wrong. Don’t try to justify what you did with an excuse. If you are apologizing for not doing your homework, be honest but don’t make excuses. This will help make your apology seem more genuine. The teacher will also realize that you understand what you did wrong and are willing to take responsibility.\\nDon’t say: “I am sorry for not doing my homework but I didn’t do it because I had a soccer game yesterday.”\\nInstead say: “I am sorry for not doing my homework. It was my responsibly to find time to get it done.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Strengthening Your Apology\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Promise it won’t happen again and act upon it.\", \"描述\": \"End with a promise that you will never repeat the behavior that caused you to apologize again. Intend to follow through with this promise. The apology will mean a lot more if it does not have an empty promise on the end. For example:\\nIf you are apologizing for not doing your homework, start making sure to do your homework.\\nIf you were talking loudly during class, make sure to correct this behavior. Don't talk loudly in class. If you must say something, raise your hand.\\nIn general, demonstrate good classroom behavior by being respectful, doing your work, and staying on task.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have appropriate body language.\", \"描述\": \"What makes an apology much more meaningful is when it is in person. This shows that you have courage and allows your teacher to see your face and body language while you apologize. Your body language should show that you are sorry. For example:\\nDon’t put your hands on your hips or cross your arms. It will look as though you don’t care about the apology or are trying to challenge your teacher.\\nBe relaxed and make eye contact with your teacher. Keep your arms at your sides, and your back straight. This will make you appear more serious and genuine.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Write your teacher an apology note.\", \"描述\": \"You can't replace an in-person apology, but you can add to your apology by giving your teacher a note or card to show you care. A simple note or handmade card saying you are sorry and what you are sorry for will be really appreciated by your teacher. \\nUse the same language in the note as you would when giving a verbal apology. This means no making excuses or putting the blame on someone else.\\nUse proper spelling and grammar. Don't write \\\"Sorry I made U mad. =( \\\" Instead, write \\\"I apologize for disrupting class. It won't happen again.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask for forgiveness.\", \"描述\": \"End your apology with a request for forgiveness, but don’t expect it in return. The important part is that you stop doing whatever you did that made you apologize. Following through with your promise to not do it again might be what they need to forgive you.\\nKeep it simple, but sincere. Say something like, “I hope that you can forgive me.”\\nDon't worry if your teacher doesn't forgive you. They might need time to think about your apology.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't apologize in a note or email. Always apologize in person because it is much more sincere and meaningful.\\n\", \"It is okay if you cry, but don’t fake cry.\\n\", \"Acknowledge your mistakes to let your teacher know that you know what you did wrong.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Understand that if you have hurt their feelings bad enough, some teachers will not forgive you immediately.\\n\", \"Depending on the severity of your actions, you may or may not get in trouble with the administration, but always be ready to accept the consequences of your actions.\\n\"]}]}}",
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1,806 | 35 Apology Paragraphs to Repair Your Relationship | 1. “I apologize for my mistake.”
Acknowledge your mistake to write an effective apology.
To give a genuine apology, admit your mistake and take responsibility for your actions. Let the other person know exactly how you contributed to the situation, and avoid using “but” to justify your actions—the point is to mend your relationship, not deflect blame.
I’m sorry for borrowing your clothes without asking. I should have asked you for permission, and I know what I did was wrong. I’m very sorry, and I hope you can forgive me.
Hey, I’m sorry for how I acted on Friday. I wasn’t thinking, and I did a lot of things I regret. I hope you know that I appreciate you, and I never want to take our relationship for granted.
Hey, I am so sorry for being 30 minutes late. I should have left my place earlier and taken you more seriously when you said the traffic was bad. I promise to make it up to you!
I’m so sorry for leaving your event early. I know it meant a lot to you, and I should’ve told my boss that I wasn’t available during that time. I want you to know that you’re the most important person in my life, and I’m going to make you my #1 priority. I hope you can forgive me, and we can move forward.
2. “I’m sorry for what I said.”
Name what you did wrong to show empathy towards the other person.
When you specify how you hurt someone, you’re acknowledging the impact of your words. Instead of explaining your intentions in great detail, try to view the situation from the other person’s perspective. Apologize for your comment, and express how ashamed you feel for upsetting them.
I wanted to apologize for the comment I made during the meeting. It was extremely unprofessional and insensitive, and I wish I could take it back. You’re an incredible member of the team, and there are no words to express how terrible I feel. I’m incredibly sorry.
Hey, I wanted to apologize for saying you were gullible. I don’t know why I said it, but it definitely wasn’t okay. I know when I said that, it made you really upset, and I completely understand if you don’t want to hang out anymore. I know I can’t take back what I said, but I want to say I’m sorry.
Jane, I’m sorry for what I said to you on Friday. None of the things I said were true, and I’m so ashamed about the entire situation. You’re my only sister, and I’m so lucky to have you in my life. Please forgive me.
Mom, I’m sorry for calling you annoying. There’s no excuse for what I said, and I wish I could take my words back. I’m so grateful to have you as my mom, and I’m so sorry for making you feel unappreciated.
3. “I’m sorry for starting a fight.”
State what led to miscommunication to fix your relationship after a fight.
If you raised your voice at your partner or hurt their feelings, reflect on the situation to determine what may have caused it—maybe you carried stress home from work or you felt overwhelmed before interacting with them. Regardless of your reason, apologize for your behavior and ask your partner for forgiveness.
I’m sorry for yelling at you. I felt stressed from the office, and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I never want to upset you, and my behavior was unacceptable. I hope you can forgive me.
Hey baby, I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier. I’ve just been anxious about the results, and I’m having trouble managing my emotions. I know that’s not an excuse, but I’m going to work on it. I love you, and I’m sorry.
I’m really sorry for what I said yesterday. I wasn’t thinking about you at that moment, and my words weren’t okay (or true). I never meant to hurt you, and I hope you can forgive me.
I know my behavior intensified our argument. I’ve been feeling the pressure at work, and I haven’t slept well in weeks. I shouldn’t be projecting my stress onto you though. It’s not right, and I’m sorry.
4. “I’m ashamed that I lied to you.”
Express shame for your dishonesty to show sincerity.
If you lied to your partner, be vulnerable and admit how terrible you feel about your mistake. Let them know that you’ve taken the time to reflect on the situation, and focus on how your lie impacted them—how would you feel in their shoes? A genuine apology addresses the other person’s feelings and validates their experience.
I’m so sorry for lying to you. You trusted me, and I completely betrayed you. I feel ashamed about the situation, and I hope you can forgive me.
Hey, I want to apologize for lying to you. I was in the wrong, and I know you’re hurting because of my stupid actions. I’m sorry, and I love you.
I never meant to hurt you. I thought I was protecting you when I told that lie, but I know it was completely wrong. Please forgive me. I hate that I made you feel this way.
I’m sorry about all the lies. I should have been upfront and told you the truth. You mean the world to me, and I know I’ve broken your trust. No matter how long it takes, I’m going to rebuild it, and I hope you can forgive me for my mistake.
5. “I want to apologize for cheating on you.”
Offer an apology without expecting your partner to take you back.
Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal in a relationship, so spend extra time and effort drafting your message. To offer a full and sincere apology, express genuine remorse, and let your partner know that you respect their decision, even if they decide to end your relationship.
Sara, I know that my actions hurt you, and I’ve completely broken your trust. I’m so sorry for making you question our entire relationship. You mean the world to me, and I hope you can forgive me for my mistake. I’m committed to working through this and going to counseling, but even if you want to end things, I totally understand and respect your decision.
Dan, I don’t know how I can apologize for my mistake properly, but I’m deeply sorry. I know my actions have ruined our relationship, and I know things will never be the same. I never wanted to hurt you. I hope you can eventually forgive me.
Lila, I know I made a terrible mistake, and I damaged your ability to trust. I’m so sorry for hurting you and taking you for granted. I still love you, and I want to work on saving our relationship. Even if you don’t want to work through this, I hope you believe how sorry and regretful I am.
Sam, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you, lying to you, and making you look like a fool. My actions are completely unacceptable, and there’s nothing I can say to justify my behavior or explain myself. I want to repair what’s left of our relationship, and I’m willing to do anything to fix this. I know you might not feel the same way (and I respect whatever decision you make), but please know that I care about you and I’m sorry.
6. “Sorry for ghosting you earlier.”
Own your mistake for blowing someone off.
If you ghosted someone after a few dates (or conversations), keep your apology as simple as possible. Validate that they weren’t responsible for your actions, and state that you’re sorry.
Hi! I wanted to apologize for ghosting you after our third date. That wasn’t cool on my part, and I should’ve been mature about the situation and responded to your texts. I hope you’re doing well, and I wish you the best.
I’m so sorry I went MIA last month. I had a lot going on at the time, but I shouldn’t have ghosted you. That was really childish, and I just wanted to let you know that I regret doing that.
Hey Chris. I know it’s been a while, but I wanted to apologize for ghosting you earlier this year. That was really rude of me, and I’m not proud of how I handled the situation. You’re a great guy, and you didn’t deserve that.
Hey Steph! I’m sorry for not returning your calls and messages. I’ve been super stressed with work, but I should have communicated my situation to you. I had a great date with you and would love to meet up again, but I understand if you’re looking for someone more reliable.
7. “I’m your friend, but I didn’t act like it.”
Maintain your friendship by apologizing to someone you’ve hurt.
Even if it seems like your friend has moved on from a mistake you made, reach out to them to properly apologize. Apologizing shows that you value your friendship, so it can repair trust and strengthen the bond with your bestie.
Hey, I know we haven’t talked in a while, but I just wanted to apologize for hurting you. I never meant to lash out at you, and I’m ashamed about how things ended between us. I truly value our friendship, and I hope we can become friends again. I love you.
I’m so sorry for what I said to you on Friday. It wasn’t okay, and I feel terrible for how I made you feel. Please forgive me…your friendship means the world to me.
I can’t find the words to express how sorry I am for ruining your birthday. It was your special day, and I shouldn’t have disrupted your party (especially in front of your family). I feel ashamed for my behavior, and I know an apology isn’t going to fix things between us… I just want to let you know that I’m deeply sorry.
I wanted to reach out and apologize for my reaction yesterday. I was in complete shock when you announced your move, and I let my emotions get the best of me. I’m not angry at you, but I’m upset that you’re leaving. You’re my best friend, and I can’t imagine life without you. I know my behavior probably didn’t reflect that, but I’m so proud of you for chasing your dreams.
8. “My behavior was unprofessional.”
Address your behavior in the workplace to draft a formal apology.
Whether you argued with your boss or yelled at a coworker, send the other person an apology email that expresses sincere remorse. Write the tangible steps you plan to take to avoid a similar incident in the future, and let them know you understand the potential consequences of your actions (if they’re higher up).
I want to apologize for losing my temper during the meeting. I’ve been under a lot of pressure, but that’s no excuse for my poor behavior. I was wrong to yell at you in front of everyone, and I’m sorry. Going forward, I’m going to work on processing my emotions before I speak, so I can calmly speak to you or with you—instead of over you. I understand that there may be consequences for my actions, but I’m committed to preventing this from happening again.
I want to express my deepest apologies for the way I behaved this morning. It was extremely unprofessional and unacceptable, and I’m sorry for raising my voice at you. In the future, I plan to prioritize your emails, so you can receive a response in a timely manner and the project is on schedule. I value you as a teammate, and I hope we can move forward. I’m open to any feedback you may have for me, and my door is always open.
I want to apologize for missing my deadline on the XYZ project. I understand that this is frustrating and unprofessional, and I take full responsibility for my actions. I let Bobby know that he can work on his assignment now, and the project should be complete by 8 AM on Monday morning. I’m committed to preventing this from happening in the future, and I will let you know immediately if I’m struggling with something. I’m deeply sorry, and please let me know if there’s anything else I can do in the meantime.
9. “Mom and Dad, I’m sorry about my bad behavior.”
Make amends with a family member to show that you’re sorry.
Before drafting your apology, reflect on the situation to figure out what went wrong. Admit your mistake and convey that it wasn’t intentional. Let your loved one know that you’re working on the issue, and end the message by expressing love, respect, and gratitude towards them.
Mom, I’m sorry for breaking curfew and lying about where I was on Friday night. I know you care about me, and you’ve set these rules in place to protect me. I’m sorry for breaking your trust, and I’ll do whatever it takes to rebuild it. I love you.
Dad, I’m so sorry for raising my voice at you. I never meant to upset you, and I’m working on managing my anger better. I hope you believe how regretful I am.
John, I’m sorry for losing your favorite card. You’re my younger brother, and I should’ve kept a closer eye on your things. I know there’s nothing I can do to replace that exact card, but I want to buy you a different one if that’s okay. I’m sorry again and let me know which one you want me to buy.
Beth, I’m sorry for wearing your dress without asking. I never anticipated I would stain it, but I shouldn’t have worn it in the first place without asking you first. That was wrong of me, and I regret doing that. Please let me know how I can make this up to you. I love you sis, and I hope you can forgive me.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:12",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. “I apologize for my mistake.”\\nAcknowledge your mistake to write an effective apology.\\nTo give a genuine apology, admit your mistake and take responsibility for your actions. Let the other person know exactly how you contributed to the situation, and avoid using “but” to justify your actions—the point is to mend your relationship, not deflect blame.\\nI’m sorry for borrowing your clothes without asking. I should have asked you for permission, and I know what I did was wrong. I’m very sorry, and I hope you can forgive me.\\nHey, I’m sorry for how I acted on Friday. I wasn’t thinking, and I did a lot of things I regret. I hope you know that I appreciate you, and I never want to take our relationship for granted.\\nHey, I am so sorry for being 30 minutes late. I should have left my place earlier and taken you more seriously when you said the traffic was bad. I promise to make it up to you!\\nI’m so sorry for leaving your event early. I know it meant a lot to you, and I should’ve told my boss that I wasn’t available during that time. I want you to know that you’re the most important person in my life, and I’m going to make you my #1 priority. I hope you can forgive me, and we can move forward.\\n2. “I’m sorry for what I said.”\\nName what you did wrong to show empathy towards the other person.\\nWhen you specify how you hurt someone, you’re acknowledging the impact of your words. Instead of explaining your intentions in great detail, try to view the situation from the other person’s perspective. Apologize for your comment, and express how ashamed you feel for upsetting them.\\nI wanted to apologize for the comment I made during the meeting. It was extremely unprofessional and insensitive, and I wish I could take it back. You’re an incredible member of the team, and there are no words to express how terrible I feel. I’m incredibly sorry.\\nHey, I wanted to apologize for saying you were gullible. I don’t know why I said it, but it definitely wasn’t okay. I know when I said that, it made you really upset, and I completely understand if you don’t want to hang out anymore. I know I can’t take back what I said, but I want to say I’m sorry.\\nJane, I’m sorry for what I said to you on Friday. None of the things I said were true, and I’m so ashamed about the entire situation. You’re my only sister, and I’m so lucky to have you in my life. Please forgive me.\\nMom, I’m sorry for calling you annoying. There’s no excuse for what I said, and I wish I could take my words back. I’m so grateful to have you as my mom, and I’m so sorry for making you feel unappreciated.\\n3. “I’m sorry for starting a fight.”\\nState what led to miscommunication to fix your relationship after a fight.\\nIf you raised your voice at your partner or hurt their feelings, reflect on the situation to determine what may have caused it—maybe you carried stress home from work or you felt overwhelmed before interacting with them. Regardless of your reason, apologize for your behavior and ask your partner for forgiveness.\\nI’m sorry for yelling at you. I felt stressed from the office, and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I never want to upset you, and my behavior was unacceptable. I hope you can forgive me.\\nHey baby, I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier. I’ve just been anxious about the results, and I’m having trouble managing my emotions. I know that’s not an excuse, but I’m going to work on it. I love you, and I’m sorry.\\nI’m really sorry for what I said yesterday. I wasn’t thinking about you at that moment, and my words weren’t okay (or true). I never meant to hurt you, and I hope you can forgive me.\\nI know my behavior intensified our argument. I’ve been feeling the pressure at work, and I haven’t slept well in weeks. I shouldn’t be projecting my stress onto you though. It’s not right, and I’m sorry.\\n4. “I’m ashamed that I lied to you.”\\nExpress shame for your dishonesty to show sincerity.\\nIf you lied to your partner, be vulnerable and admit how terrible you feel about your mistake. Let them know that you’ve taken the time to reflect on the situation, and focus on how your lie impacted them—how would you feel in their shoes? A genuine apology addresses the other person’s feelings and validates their experience.\\nI’m so sorry for lying to you. You trusted me, and I completely betrayed you. I feel ashamed about the situation, and I hope you can forgive me.\\nHey, I want to apologize for lying to you. I was in the wrong, and I know you’re hurting because of my stupid actions. I’m sorry, and I love you.\\nI never meant to hurt you. I thought I was protecting you when I told that lie, but I know it was completely wrong. Please forgive me. I hate that I made you feel this way.\\nI’m sorry about all the lies. I should have been upfront and told you the truth. You mean the world to me, and I know I’ve broken your trust. No matter how long it takes, I’m going to rebuild it, and I hope you can forgive me for my mistake.\\n5. “I want to apologize for cheating on you.”\\nOffer an apology without expecting your partner to take you back.\\nInfidelity is the ultimate betrayal in a relationship, so spend extra time and effort drafting your message. To offer a full and sincere apology, express genuine remorse, and let your partner know that you respect their decision, even if they decide to end your relationship.\\nSara, I know that my actions hurt you, and I’ve completely broken your trust. I’m so sorry for making you question our entire relationship. You mean the world to me, and I hope you can forgive me for my mistake. I’m committed to working through this and going to counseling, but even if you want to end things, I totally understand and respect your decision.\\nDan, I don’t know how I can apologize for my mistake properly, but I’m deeply sorry. I know my actions have ruined our relationship, and I know things will never be the same. I never wanted to hurt you. I hope you can eventually forgive me.\\nLila, I know I made a terrible mistake, and I damaged your ability to trust. I’m so sorry for hurting you and taking you for granted. I still love you, and I want to work on saving our relationship. Even if you don’t want to work through this, I hope you believe how sorry and regretful I am.\\nSam, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you, lying to you, and making you look like a fool. My actions are completely unacceptable, and there’s nothing I can say to justify my behavior or explain myself. I want to repair what’s left of our relationship, and I’m willing to do anything to fix this. I know you might not feel the same way (and I respect whatever decision you make), but please know that I care about you and I’m sorry.\\n6. “Sorry for ghosting you earlier.”\\nOwn your mistake for blowing someone off.\\nIf you ghosted someone after a few dates (or conversations), keep your apology as simple as possible. Validate that they weren’t responsible for your actions, and state that you’re sorry.\\nHi! I wanted to apologize for ghosting you after our third date. That wasn’t cool on my part, and I should’ve been mature about the situation and responded to your texts. I hope you’re doing well, and I wish you the best.\\nI’m so sorry I went MIA last month. I had a lot going on at the time, but I shouldn’t have ghosted you. That was really childish, and I just wanted to let you know that I regret doing that.\\nHey Chris. I know it’s been a while, but I wanted to apologize for ghosting you earlier this year. That was really rude of me, and I’m not proud of how I handled the situation. You’re a great guy, and you didn’t deserve that.\\nHey Steph! I’m sorry for not returning your calls and messages. I’ve been super stressed with work, but I should have communicated my situation to you. I had a great date with you and would love to meet up again, but I understand if you’re looking for someone more reliable.\\n7. “I’m your friend, but I didn’t act like it.”\\nMaintain your friendship by apologizing to someone you’ve hurt.\\nEven if it seems like your friend has moved on from a mistake you made, reach out to them to properly apologize. Apologizing shows that you value your friendship, so it can repair trust and strengthen the bond with your bestie.\\nHey, I know we haven’t talked in a while, but I just wanted to apologize for hurting you. I never meant to lash out at you, and I’m ashamed about how things ended between us. I truly value our friendship, and I hope we can become friends again. I love you.\\nI’m so sorry for what I said to you on Friday. It wasn’t okay, and I feel terrible for how I made you feel. Please forgive me…your friendship means the world to me.\\nI can’t find the words to express how sorry I am for ruining your birthday. It was your special day, and I shouldn’t have disrupted your party (especially in front of your family). I feel ashamed for my behavior, and I know an apology isn’t going to fix things between us… I just want to let you know that I’m deeply sorry.\\nI wanted to reach out and apologize for my reaction yesterday. I was in complete shock when you announced your move, and I let my emotions get the best of me. I’m not angry at you, but I’m upset that you’re leaving. You’re my best friend, and I can’t imagine life without you. I know my behavior probably didn’t reflect that, but I’m so proud of you for chasing your dreams.\\n8. “My behavior was unprofessional.”\\nAddress your behavior in the workplace to draft a formal apology.\\nWhether you argued with your boss or yelled at a coworker, send the other person an apology email that expresses sincere remorse. Write the tangible steps you plan to take to avoid a similar incident in the future, and let them know you understand the potential consequences of your actions (if they’re higher up).\\nI want to apologize for losing my temper during the meeting. I’ve been under a lot of pressure, but that’s no excuse for my poor behavior. I was wrong to yell at you in front of everyone, and I’m sorry. Going forward, I’m going to work on processing my emotions before I speak, so I can calmly speak to you or with you—instead of over you. I understand that there may be consequences for my actions, but I’m committed to preventing this from happening again.\\nI want to express my deepest apologies for the way I behaved this morning. It was extremely unprofessional and unacceptable, and I’m sorry for raising my voice at you. In the future, I plan to prioritize your emails, so you can receive a response in a timely manner and the project is on schedule. I value you as a teammate, and I hope we can move forward. I’m open to any feedback you may have for me, and my door is always open.\\nI want to apologize for missing my deadline on the XYZ project. I understand that this is frustrating and unprofessional, and I take full responsibility for my actions. I let Bobby know that he can work on his assignment now, and the project should be complete by 8 AM on Monday morning. I’m committed to preventing this from happening in the future, and I will let you know immediately if I’m struggling with something. I’m deeply sorry, and please let me know if there’s anything else I can do in the meantime.\\n9. “Mom and Dad, I’m sorry about my bad behavior.”\\nMake amends with a family member to show that you’re sorry.\\nBefore drafting your apology, reflect on the situation to figure out what went wrong. Admit your mistake and convey that it wasn’t intentional. Let your loved one know that you’re working on the issue, and end the message by expressing love, respect, and gratitude towards them.\\nMom, I’m sorry for breaking curfew and lying about where I was on Friday night. I know you care about me, and you’ve set these rules in place to protect me. I’m sorry for breaking your trust, and I’ll do whatever it takes to rebuild it. I love you.\\nDad, I’m so sorry for raising my voice at you. I never meant to upset you, and I’m working on managing my anger better. I hope you believe how regretful I am.\\nJohn, I’m sorry for losing your favorite card. You’re my younger brother, and I should’ve kept a closer eye on your things. I know there’s nothing I can do to replace that exact card, but I want to buy you a different one if that’s okay. I’m sorry again and let me know which one you want me to buy.\\nBeth, I’m sorry for wearing your dress without asking. I never anticipated I would stain it, but I shouldn’t have worn it in the first place without asking you first. That was wrong of me, and I regret doing that. Please let me know how I can make this up to you. I love you sis, and I hope you can forgive me.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Whether you yelled at your partner or made a coworker upset, apologizing is the first step in preserving your relationship with someone. Apologies can help you learn from your mistakes, but how do you draft one that doesn’t sound dry or generic? In this article, we’re providing a list of thoughtful apology paragraphs that you can use in any situation. No matter the size of your mistake, here’s how to make things right and move forward in your relationship!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"“I apologize for my mistake.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge your mistake to write an effective apology.\", \"描述\": \"To give a genuine apology, admit your mistake and take responsibility for your actions. Let the other person know exactly how you contributed to the situation, and avoid using “but” to justify your actions—the point is to mend your relationship, not deflect blame.\\nI’m sorry for borrowing your clothes without asking. I should have asked you for permission, and I know what I did was wrong. I’m very sorry, and I hope you can forgive me.\\nHey, I’m sorry for how I acted on Friday. I wasn’t thinking, and I did a lot of things I regret. I hope you know that I appreciate you, and I never want to take our relationship for granted.\\nHey, I am so sorry for being 30 minutes late. I should have left my place earlier and taken you more seriously when you said the traffic was bad. I promise to make it up to you!\\nI’m so sorry for leaving your event early. I know it meant a lot to you, and I should’ve told my boss that I wasn’t available during that time. I want you to know that you’re the most important person in my life, and I’m going to make you my #1 priority. I hope you can forgive me, and we can move forward.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"“I’m sorry for what I said.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Name what you did wrong to show empathy towards the other person.\", \"描述\": \"When you specify how you hurt someone, you’re acknowledging the impact of your words. Instead of explaining your intentions in great detail, try to view the situation from the other person’s perspective. Apologize for your comment, and express how ashamed you feel for upsetting them.\\nI wanted to apologize for the comment I made during the meeting. It was extremely unprofessional and insensitive, and I wish I could take it back. You’re an incredible member of the team, and there are no words to express how terrible I feel. I’m incredibly sorry.\\nHey, I wanted to apologize for saying you were gullible. I don’t know why I said it, but it definitely wasn’t okay. I know when I said that, it made you really upset, and I completely understand if you don’t want to hang out anymore. I know I can’t take back what I said, but I want to say I’m sorry.\\nJane, I’m sorry for what I said to you on Friday. None of the things I said were true, and I’m so ashamed about the entire situation. You’re my only sister, and I’m so lucky to have you in my life. Please forgive me.\\nMom, I’m sorry for calling you annoying. There’s no excuse for what I said, and I wish I could take my words back. I’m so grateful to have you as my mom, and I’m so sorry for making you feel unappreciated.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"“I’m sorry for starting a fight.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"State what led to miscommunication to fix your relationship after a fight.\", \"描述\": \"If you raised your voice at your partner or hurt their feelings, reflect on the situation to determine what may have caused it—maybe you carried stress home from work or you felt overwhelmed before interacting with them. Regardless of your reason, apologize for your behavior and ask your partner for forgiveness.\\nI’m sorry for yelling at you. I felt stressed from the office, and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I never want to upset you, and my behavior was unacceptable. I hope you can forgive me.\\nHey baby, I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier. I’ve just been anxious about the results, and I’m having trouble managing my emotions. I know that’s not an excuse, but I’m going to work on it. I love you, and I’m sorry.\\nI’m really sorry for what I said yesterday. I wasn’t thinking about you at that moment, and my words weren’t okay (or true). I never meant to hurt you, and I hope you can forgive me.\\nI know my behavior intensified our argument. I’ve been feeling the pressure at work, and I haven’t slept well in weeks. I shouldn’t be projecting my stress onto you though. It’s not right, and I’m sorry.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"“I’m ashamed that I lied to you.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Express shame for your dishonesty to show sincerity.\", \"描述\": \"If you lied to your partner, be vulnerable and admit how terrible you feel about your mistake. Let them know that you’ve taken the time to reflect on the situation, and focus on how your lie impacted them—how would you feel in their shoes? A genuine apology addresses the other person’s feelings and validates their experience.\\nI’m so sorry for lying to you. You trusted me, and I completely betrayed you. I feel ashamed about the situation, and I hope you can forgive me.\\nHey, I want to apologize for lying to you. I was in the wrong, and I know you’re hurting because of my stupid actions. I’m sorry, and I love you.\\nI never meant to hurt you. I thought I was protecting you when I told that lie, but I know it was completely wrong. Please forgive me. I hate that I made you feel this way.\\nI’m sorry about all the lies. I should have been upfront and told you the truth. You mean the world to me, and I know I’ve broken your trust. No matter how long it takes, I’m going to rebuild it, and I hope you can forgive me for my mistake.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"“I want to apologize for cheating on you.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Offer an apology without expecting your partner to take you back.\", \"描述\": \"Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal in a relationship, so spend extra time and effort drafting your message. To offer a full and sincere apology, express genuine remorse, and let your partner know that you respect their decision, even if they decide to end your relationship.\\nSara, I know that my actions hurt you, and I’ve completely broken your trust. I’m so sorry for making you question our entire relationship. You mean the world to me, and I hope you can forgive me for my mistake. I’m committed to working through this and going to counseling, but even if you want to end things, I totally understand and respect your decision.\\nDan, I don’t know how I can apologize for my mistake properly, but I’m deeply sorry. I know my actions have ruined our relationship, and I know things will never be the same. I never wanted to hurt you. I hope you can eventually forgive me.\\nLila, I know I made a terrible mistake, and I damaged your ability to trust. I’m so sorry for hurting you and taking you for granted. I still love you, and I want to work on saving our relationship. Even if you don’t want to work through this, I hope you believe how sorry and regretful I am.\\nSam, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you, lying to you, and making you look like a fool. My actions are completely unacceptable, and there’s nothing I can say to justify my behavior or explain myself. I want to repair what’s left of our relationship, and I’m willing to do anything to fix this. I know you might not feel the same way (and I respect whatever decision you make), but please know that I care about you and I’m sorry.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"“Sorry for ghosting you earlier.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Own your mistake for blowing someone off.\", \"描述\": \"If you ghosted someone after a few dates (or conversations), keep your apology as simple as possible. Validate that they weren’t responsible for your actions, and state that you’re sorry.\\nHi! I wanted to apologize for ghosting you after our third date. That wasn’t cool on my part, and I should’ve been mature about the situation and responded to your texts. I hope you’re doing well, and I wish you the best.\\nI’m so sorry I went MIA last month. I had a lot going on at the time, but I shouldn’t have ghosted you. That was really childish, and I just wanted to let you know that I regret doing that.\\nHey Chris. I know it’s been a while, but I wanted to apologize for ghosting you earlier this year. That was really rude of me, and I’m not proud of how I handled the situation. You’re a great guy, and you didn’t deserve that.\\nHey Steph! I’m sorry for not returning your calls and messages. I’ve been super stressed with work, but I should have communicated my situation to you. I had a great date with you and would love to meet up again, but I understand if you’re looking for someone more reliable.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"“I’m your friend, but I didn’t act like it.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Maintain your friendship by apologizing to someone you’ve hurt.\", \"描述\": \"Even if it seems like your friend has moved on from a mistake you made, reach out to them to properly apologize. Apologizing shows that you value your friendship, so it can repair trust and strengthen the bond with your bestie.\\nHey, I know we haven’t talked in a while, but I just wanted to apologize for hurting you. I never meant to lash out at you, and I’m ashamed about how things ended between us. I truly value our friendship, and I hope we can become friends again. I love you.\\nI’m so sorry for what I said to you on Friday. It wasn’t okay, and I feel terrible for how I made you feel. Please forgive me…your friendship means the world to me.\\nI can’t find the words to express how sorry I am for ruining your birthday. It was your special day, and I shouldn’t have disrupted your party (especially in front of your family). I feel ashamed for my behavior, and I know an apology isn’t going to fix things between us… I just want to let you know that I’m deeply sorry.\\nI wanted to reach out and apologize for my reaction yesterday. I was in complete shock when you announced your move, and I let my emotions get the best of me. I’m not angry at you, but I’m upset that you’re leaving. You’re my best friend, and I can’t imagine life without you. I know my behavior probably didn’t reflect that, but I’m so proud of you for chasing your dreams.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"“My behavior was unprofessional.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Address your behavior in the workplace to draft a formal apology.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you argued with your boss or yelled at a coworker, send the other person an apology email that expresses sincere remorse. Write the tangible steps you plan to take to avoid a similar incident in the future, and let them know you understand the potential consequences of your actions (if they’re higher up).\\nI want to apologize for losing my temper during the meeting. I’ve been under a lot of pressure, but that’s no excuse for my poor behavior. I was wrong to yell at you in front of everyone, and I’m sorry. Going forward, I’m going to work on processing my emotions before I speak, so I can calmly speak to you or with you—instead of over you. I understand that there may be consequences for my actions, but I’m committed to preventing this from happening again.\\nI want to express my deepest apologies for the way I behaved this morning. It was extremely unprofessional and unacceptable, and I’m sorry for raising my voice at you. In the future, I plan to prioritize your emails, so you can receive a response in a timely manner and the project is on schedule. I value you as a teammate, and I hope we can move forward. I’m open to any feedback you may have for me, and my door is always open.\\nI want to apologize for missing my deadline on the XYZ project. I understand that this is frustrating and unprofessional, and I take full responsibility for my actions. I let Bobby know that he can work on his assignment now, and the project should be complete by 8 AM on Monday morning. I’m committed to preventing this from happening in the future, and I will let you know immediately if I’m struggling with something. I’m deeply sorry, and please let me know if there’s anything else I can do in the meantime.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"“Mom and Dad, I’m sorry about my bad behavior.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make amends with a family member to show that you’re sorry.\", \"描述\": \"Before drafting your apology, reflect on the situation to figure out what went wrong. Admit your mistake and convey that it wasn’t intentional. Let your loved one know that you’re working on the issue, and end the message by expressing love, respect, and gratitude towards them.\\nMom, I’m sorry for breaking curfew and lying about where I was on Friday night. I know you care about me, and you’ve set these rules in place to protect me. I’m sorry for breaking your trust, and I’ll do whatever it takes to rebuild it. I love you.\\nDad, I’m so sorry for raising my voice at you. I never meant to upset you, and I’m working on managing my anger better. I hope you believe how regretful I am.\\nJohn, I’m sorry for losing your favorite card. You’re my younger brother, and I should’ve kept a closer eye on your things. I know there’s nothing I can do to replace that exact card, but I want to buy you a different one if that’s okay. I’m sorry again and let me know which one you want me to buy.\\nBeth, I’m sorry for wearing your dress without asking. I never anticipated I would stain it, but I shouldn’t have worn it in the first place without asking you first. That was wrong of me, and I regret doing that. Please let me know how I can make this up to you. I love you sis, and I hope you can forgive me.\"}]}]}}",
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1,807 | 33 Sweet & Romantic Apology Messages for Your Love | 1. “I’m so sorry.”
These simple words are sometimes the most effective.
When someone feels hurt, they’re often just looking to hear a genuine “sorry,” so send them a straightforward message.
2. “I’m really sorry, my love.”
Make your “sorry” sweeter by using a romantic name.
Calling your love “sweetheart,” “beautiful,” or “my darling” can remind them of how you care for them.
3. “I can’t express to you how sorry I am.”
Let them know your feelings go beyond words.
If you don’t even know how to find the right words to express how you feel, let them know.
4. “I owe you an apology baby.”
This is a great intro to a longer apology.
You can use this phrase to let your love know you’ve been thinking a lot about what happened.
5. “I made a huge mistake.”
Showing regret is a crucial part of an apology.
Let your boyfriend or girlfriend know that you wish you could take back what you did.
6. “Can you forgive me?”
Asking for forgiveness is important when apologizing.
By asking for forgiveness, you put the ball in your partner’s court, which means that you can both come back to the relationship without leftover resentment.
7. “I promise to be better.”
Give your love a sign this won’t happen again.
It can be tough to forgive someone if you think that they’ll just repeat the same mistakes in the future, so let them know that you’re committed to change.
8. “You deserve a good partner. I know I can be that person.”
Show your love you value their happiness.
A message like this tells them that they have your respect, and you’re ready to work to prove it to them.
9. “To keep you in my life, I know I have to work.”
This message shows you don’t take them for granted.
A promise to change can mean a lot more when you let your love know that you’re aware of the risks if you don’t change for them.
10. “You mean the world to me.”
Let your love know how important they are to you.
By showing them how much value you place on having them in your life, they might be more willing to forgive you.
11. “I’ll do anything to make it up to you.”
Offering to repair the relationship means a lot.
Let her know that her forgiveness is important to you, and that you’re willing to do whatever is needed to make things work.
12. “Tell me what you need from me to make things better.”
Be more direct about what they need from you.
This kind of open communication can make your chances of repairing the relationship a lot stronger, so don’t be afraid to be straightforward.
13. “Nothing hurts me more than knowing I hurt you.”
Empathy can make an apology feel more meaningful.
When you express empathy, you’re showing your boyfriend or girlfriend that you feel the pain that they feel.You can even say, “I did not mean to insult you or hurt your feelings.”
14. “When I think about how you must feel I can’t sleep.”
Show your love their feelings matter to you.
This kind of empathy is something that will mean a lot to your boyfriend or girlfriend, so don’t be afraid to show your vulnerable side.
15. “I don’t think I can get over making you cry.”
Let your love know that you’re ashamed.
Your love might be feeling uncomfortable about how they reacted earlier, so a message like this shows them that you’re more embarrassed than they are.
16. “I know that I’ve treated you poorly.”
Tell your love that you’re aware of your actions.
Your boyfriend or girlfriend needs to hear that you see the hurt you’ve caused them, so give them a sign that you recognize this.
17. “Being disloyal to you was the worst thing I’ve ever done.”
If disloyalty is the issue, let your love know you feel responsible.
Being specific about what you did wrong can show your boyfriend or girlfriend that you’re taking accountability for your mistakes.
18. “You didn’t deserve being called those names last night.”
After a fight, try this message.
Many of us say things we regret when we’re angry, and it’s important to let your love know that those aren’t your true feelings.
19. “It was cruel to end our relationship over something so small.”
If you regret breaking up with your love, send them this.
Acknowledging that you hurt your boyfriend or girlfriend by breaking up and that you’ve reconsidered your reasons is a good start to fixing the relationship.
20. “I understand now how what I said brought you pain.”
Being specific can make empathy more effective.
Tell your love what it was specifically that you know hurt them, whether it was your words, actions, or behavior.
21. “I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you.”
Take responsibility for what you did.
If something else was at play, you can mention the circumstances behind why you acted the way you did. If you think, however, that your explanations might make you sound defensive, it’s better to leave them out.
22. “I’ve been depressed, and I haven’t treated you right.”
If mental health has messed with your relationship, tell them.
While mental health isn’t an acceptable excuse for treating someone badly, it can give your actions some more context.
23. “I might not deserve your forgiveness. But can I ask for it anyway?”
If the falling-out is more serious, try this instead.
This request for forgiveness shows that you understand the gravity of what happened, which can make your love more willing to keep your relationship going.
24. “I know it’s not entirely my choice to put this behind us.”
Tell your love you get that forgiveness is a two-way street.
This is another way of asking for forgiveness and can remind your love that they have agency in this relationship.
25. “Your wisdom and motivation inspire me to be a better person.”
Let them know that they make you better.
A good relationship means both partners grow, and sending a message like this can be a reminder that this relationship is worth saving.
26. “I admire you.”
Show your love that you see the best parts of them.
Reassuring them that you admire them for their good qualities even after bad moments can mean a lot.
27. “You are the kindest and most generous person I know.”
Giving them a compliment shows appreciation.
Your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to feel cared for and valued by you, and a specific and genuine compliment can do just that.
28. “Even if I don’t always express it, I care about you more than anything.”
Tell your love your actions don’t match your feelings.
Telling them, in words, that they’re important to you despite what has happened between you can convince them that this relationship is worth it.
29. “I love you so much. I’ve been blessed to go through life with you.”
Reminding them you love them is important.
Love is a really powerful force, and your boyfriend or girlfriend likely values having yours. A simple “I love you” can mean a lot to them.
30. “You’re my sun.”
Metaphors can express your love more than regular words can.
Metaphors are figurative language: the person you care about isn’t literally the sun, but they seem that way to you. This kind of language can be really romantic and touching.
31. “My love for you is an ocean—deep, but not always smooth sailing.”
This metaphor is more specific to your relationship issues.
Sending a message like this can remind your boyfriend or girlfriend that love isn’t always easy, but it is an enormous and powerful force.
32. “I goofed up.”
A casual apology is good for when things aren’t so serious.
If you know that your love isn’t so hurt by what happened, it’s okay to send an apology that’s more low-key. Be sure that what happened wasn’t a big deal to either of you before sending a casual apology—you don’t want to sound like you don’t take your love’s feelings seriously.
If you prefer, you can just say, “I'm sorry.”
33. “Hey cutie—I know I messed up, and I’m sorry. Forgive me?”
This is another useful option for a casual apology.
Sometimes it’s okay to apologize and move on quickly, and this message accomplishes exactly that.
Tips
It’s okay to sound a bit sappy when writing to someone you love—as the philosopher Alain de Botton put it, “A good love letter should be embarrassing if it were discovered by an enemy.”[9]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:12",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. “I’m so sorry.”\\nThese simple words are sometimes the most effective.\\nWhen someone feels hurt, they’re often just looking to hear a genuine “sorry,” so send them a straightforward message.\\n2. “I’m really sorry, my love.”\\nMake your “sorry” sweeter by using a romantic name.\\nCalling your love “sweetheart,” “beautiful,” or “my darling” can remind them of how you care for them.\\n3. “I can’t express to you how sorry I am.”\\nLet them know your feelings go beyond words.\\nIf you don’t even know how to find the right words to express how you feel, let them know.\\n4. “I owe you an apology baby.”\\nThis is a great intro to a longer apology.\\nYou can use this phrase to let your love know you’ve been thinking a lot about what happened.\\n5. “I made a huge mistake.”\\nShowing regret is a crucial part of an apology.\\nLet your boyfriend or girlfriend know that you wish you could take back what you did.\\n6. “Can you forgive me?”\\nAsking for forgiveness is important when apologizing.\\nBy asking for forgiveness, you put the ball in your partner’s court, which means that you can both come back to the relationship without leftover resentment.\\n7. “I promise to be better.”\\nGive your love a sign this won’t happen again.\\nIt can be tough to forgive someone if you think that they’ll just repeat the same mistakes in the future, so let them know that you’re committed to change.\\n8. “You deserve a good partner. I know I can be that person.”\\nShow your love you value their happiness.\\nA message like this tells them that they have your respect, and you’re ready to work to prove it to them.\\n9. “To keep you in my life, I know I have to work.”\\nThis message shows you don’t take them for granted.\\nA promise to change can mean a lot more when you let your love know that you’re aware of the risks if you don’t change for them.\\n10. “You mean the world to me.”\\nLet your love know how important they are to you.\\nBy showing them how much value you place on having them in your life, they might be more willing to forgive you.\\n11. “I’ll do anything to make it up to you.”\\nOffering to repair the relationship means a lot.\\nLet her know that her forgiveness is important to you, and that you’re willing to do whatever is needed to make things work.\\n12. “Tell me what you need from me to make things better.”\\nBe more direct about what they need from you.\\nThis kind of open communication can make your chances of repairing the relationship a lot stronger, so don’t be afraid to be straightforward.\\n13. “Nothing hurts me more than knowing I hurt you.”\\nEmpathy can make an apology feel more meaningful.\\nWhen you express empathy, you’re showing your boyfriend or girlfriend that you feel the pain that they feel.You can even say, “I did not mean to insult you or hurt your feelings.”\\n14. “When I think about how you must feel I can’t sleep.”\\nShow your love their feelings matter to you.\\nThis kind of empathy is something that will mean a lot to your boyfriend or girlfriend, so don’t be afraid to show your vulnerable side.\\n15. “I don’t think I can get over making you cry.”\\nLet your love know that you’re ashamed.\\nYour love might be feeling uncomfortable about how they reacted earlier, so a message like this shows them that you’re more embarrassed than they are.\\n16. “I know that I’ve treated you poorly.”\\nTell your love that you’re aware of your actions.\\nYour boyfriend or girlfriend needs to hear that you see the hurt you’ve caused them, so give them a sign that you recognize this.\\n17. “Being disloyal to you was the worst thing I’ve ever done.”\\nIf disloyalty is the issue, let your love know you feel responsible.\\nBeing specific about what you did wrong can show your boyfriend or girlfriend that you’re taking accountability for your mistakes.\\n18. “You didn’t deserve being called those names last night.”\\nAfter a fight, try this message.\\nMany of us say things we regret when we’re angry, and it’s important to let your love know that those aren’t your true feelings.\\n19. “It was cruel to end our relationship over something so small.”\\nIf you regret breaking up with your love, send them this.\\nAcknowledging that you hurt your boyfriend or girlfriend by breaking up and that you’ve reconsidered your reasons is a good start to fixing the relationship.\\n20. “I understand now how what I said brought you pain.”\\nBeing specific can make empathy more effective.\\nTell your love what it was specifically that you know hurt them, whether it was your words, actions, or behavior.\\n21. “I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you.”\\nTake responsibility for what you did.\\nIf something else was at play, you can mention the circumstances behind why you acted the way you did. If you think, however, that your explanations might make you sound defensive, it’s better to leave them out.\\n22. “I’ve been depressed, and I haven’t treated you right.”\\nIf mental health has messed with your relationship, tell them.\\nWhile mental health isn’t an acceptable excuse for treating someone badly, it can give your actions some more context.\\n23. “I might not deserve your forgiveness. But can I ask for it anyway?”\\nIf the falling-out is more serious, try this instead.\\nThis request for forgiveness shows that you understand the gravity of what happened, which can make your love more willing to keep your relationship going.\\n24. “I know it’s not entirely my choice to put this behind us.”\\nTell your love you get that forgiveness is a two-way street.\\nThis is another way of asking for forgiveness and can remind your love that they have agency in this relationship.\\n25. “Your wisdom and motivation inspire me to be a better person.”\\nLet them know that they make you better.\\nA good relationship means both partners grow, and sending a message like this can be a reminder that this relationship is worth saving.\\n26. “I admire you.”\\nShow your love that you see the best parts of them.\\nReassuring them that you admire them for their good qualities even after bad moments can mean a lot.\\n27. “You are the kindest and most generous person I know.”\\nGiving them a compliment shows appreciation.\\nYour boyfriend or girlfriend wants to feel cared for and valued by you, and a specific and genuine compliment can do just that.\\n28. “Even if I don’t always express it, I care about you more than anything.”\\nTell your love your actions don’t match your feelings.\\nTelling them, in words, that they’re important to you despite what has happened between you can convince them that this relationship is worth it.\\n29. “I love you so much. I’ve been blessed to go through life with you.”\\nReminding them you love them is important.\\nLove is a really powerful force, and your boyfriend or girlfriend likely values having yours. A simple “I love you” can mean a lot to them.\\n30. “You’re my sun.”\\nMetaphors can express your love more than regular words can.\\nMetaphors are figurative language: the person you care about isn’t literally the sun, but they seem that way to you. This kind of language can be really romantic and touching.\\n31. “My love for you is an ocean—deep, but not always smooth sailing.”\\nThis metaphor is more specific to your relationship issues.\\nSending a message like this can remind your boyfriend or girlfriend that love isn’t always easy, but it is an enormous and powerful force.\\n32. “I goofed up.”\\nA casual apology is good for when things aren’t so serious.\\nIf you know that your love isn’t so hurt by what happened, it’s okay to send an apology that’s more low-key. Be sure that what happened wasn’t a big deal to either of you before sending a casual apology—you don’t want to sound like you don’t take your love’s feelings seriously.\\nIf you prefer, you can just say, “I'm sorry.”\\n33. “Hey cutie—I know I messed up, and I’m sorry. Forgive me?”\\nThis is another useful option for a casual apology.\\nSometimes it’s okay to apologize and move on quickly, and this message accomplishes exactly that.\\nTips\\nIt’s okay to sound a bit sappy when writing to someone you love—as the philosopher Alain de Botton put it, “A good love letter should be embarrassing if it were discovered by an enemy.”[9]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Messed up with the love of your life and wondering how to make things okay again? First, forgive yourself—we all make mistakes sometimes. To fix your relationship, send them an apology—if not in-person, then by leaving them a note or sending them a text. But what should you say? We’re here to help with this guide to the best apology messages for your love.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"“I’m so sorry.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"These simple words are sometimes the most effective.\", \"描述\": \"When someone feels hurt, they’re often just looking to hear a genuine “sorry,” so send them a straightforward message.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"“I’m really sorry, my love.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make your “sorry” sweeter by using a romantic name.\", \"描述\": \"Calling your love “sweetheart,” “beautiful,” or “my darling” can remind them of how you care for them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"“I can’t express to you how sorry I am.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let them know your feelings go beyond words.\", \"描述\": \"If you don’t even know how to find the right words to express how you feel, let them know.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"“I owe you an apology baby.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This is a great intro to a longer apology.\", \"描述\": \"You can use this phrase to let your love know you’ve been thinking a lot about what happened.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"“I made a huge mistake.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Showing regret is a crucial part of an apology.\", \"描述\": \"Let your boyfriend or girlfriend know that you wish you could take back what you did.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"“Can you forgive me?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Asking for forgiveness is important when apologizing.\", \"描述\": \"By asking for forgiveness, you put the ball in your partner’s court, which means that you can both come back to the relationship without leftover resentment.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"“I promise to be better.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give your love a sign this won’t happen again.\", \"描述\": \"It can be tough to forgive someone if you think that they’ll just repeat the same mistakes in the future, so let them know that you’re committed to change.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"“You deserve a good partner. I know I can be that person.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show your love you value their happiness.\", \"描述\": \"A message like this tells them that they have your respect, and you’re ready to work to prove it to them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"“To keep you in my life, I know I have to work.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This message shows you don’t take them for granted.\", \"描述\": \"A promise to change can mean a lot more when you let your love know that you’re aware of the risks if you don’t change for them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"“You mean the world to me.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let your love know how important they are to you.\", \"描述\": \"By showing them how much value you place on having them in your life, they might be more willing to forgive you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"“I’ll do anything to make it up to you.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Offering to repair the relationship means a lot.\", \"描述\": \"Let her know that her forgiveness is important to you, and that you’re willing to do whatever is needed to make things work.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"“Tell me what you need from me to make things better.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be more direct about what they need from you.\", \"描述\": \"This kind of open communication can make your chances of repairing the relationship a lot stronger, so don’t be afraid to be straightforward.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"“Nothing hurts me more than knowing I hurt you.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Empathy can make an apology feel more meaningful.\", \"描述\": \"When you express empathy, you’re showing your boyfriend or girlfriend that you feel the pain that they feel.You can even say, “I did not mean to insult you or hurt your feelings.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"“When I think about how you must feel I can’t sleep.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show your love their feelings matter to you.\", \"描述\": \"This kind of empathy is something that will mean a lot to your boyfriend or girlfriend, so don’t be afraid to show your vulnerable side.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 15, \"标题\": \"“I don’t think I can get over making you cry.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let your love know that you’re ashamed.\", \"描述\": \"Your love might be feeling uncomfortable about how they reacted earlier, so a message like this shows them that you’re more embarrassed than they are.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 16, \"标题\": \"“I know that I’ve treated you poorly.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tell your love that you’re aware of your actions.\", \"描述\": \"Your boyfriend or girlfriend needs to hear that you see the hurt you’ve caused them, so give them a sign that you recognize this.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 17, \"标题\": \"“Being disloyal to you was the worst thing I’ve ever done.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If disloyalty is the issue, let your love know you feel responsible.\", \"描述\": \"Being specific about what you did wrong can show your boyfriend or girlfriend that you’re taking accountability for your mistakes.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 18, \"标题\": \"“You didn’t deserve being called those names last night.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"After a fight, try this message.\", \"描述\": \"Many of us say things we regret when we’re angry, and it’s important to let your love know that those aren’t your true feelings.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 19, \"标题\": \"“It was cruel to end our relationship over something so small.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you regret breaking up with your love, send them this.\", \"描述\": \"Acknowledging that you hurt your boyfriend or girlfriend by breaking up and that you’ve reconsidered your reasons is a good start to fixing the relationship.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 20, \"标题\": \"“I understand now how what I said brought you pain.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being specific can make empathy more effective.\", \"描述\": \"Tell your love what it was specifically that you know hurt them, whether it was your words, actions, or behavior.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 21, \"标题\": \"“I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take responsibility for what you did.\", \"描述\": \"If something else was at play, you can mention the circumstances behind why you acted the way you did. If you think, however, that your explanations might make you sound defensive, it’s better to leave them out.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 22, \"标题\": \"“I’ve been depressed, and I haven’t treated you right.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If mental health has messed with your relationship, tell them.\", \"描述\": \"While mental health isn’t an acceptable excuse for treating someone badly, it can give your actions some more context.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 23, \"标题\": \"“I might not deserve your forgiveness. But can I ask for it anyway?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If the falling-out is more serious, try this instead.\", \"描述\": \"This request for forgiveness shows that you understand the gravity of what happened, which can make your love more willing to keep your relationship going.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 24, \"标题\": \"“I know it’s not entirely my choice to put this behind us.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tell your love you get that forgiveness is a two-way street.\", \"描述\": \"This is another way of asking for forgiveness and can remind your love that they have agency in this relationship.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 25, \"标题\": \"“Your wisdom and motivation inspire me to be a better person.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let them know that they make you better.\", \"描述\": \"A good relationship means both partners grow, and sending a message like this can be a reminder that this relationship is worth saving.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 26, \"标题\": \"“I admire you.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show your love that you see the best parts of them.\", \"描述\": \"Reassuring them that you admire them for their good qualities even after bad moments can mean a lot.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 27, \"标题\": \"“You are the kindest and most generous person I know.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Giving them a compliment shows appreciation.\", \"描述\": \"Your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to feel cared for and valued by you, and a specific and genuine compliment can do just that.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 28, \"标题\": \"“Even if I don’t always express it, I care about you more than anything.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tell your love your actions don’t match your feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Telling them, in words, that they’re important to you despite what has happened between you can convince them that this relationship is worth it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 29, \"标题\": \"“I love you so much. I’ve been blessed to go through life with you.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Reminding them you love them is important.\", \"描述\": \"Love is a really powerful force, and your boyfriend or girlfriend likely values having yours. A simple “I love you” can mean a lot to them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 30, \"标题\": \"“You’re my sun.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Metaphors can express your love more than regular words can.\", \"描述\": \"Metaphors are figurative language: the person you care about isn’t literally the sun, but they seem that way to you. This kind of language can be really romantic and touching.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 31, \"标题\": \"“My love for you is an ocean—deep, but not always smooth sailing.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This metaphor is more specific to your relationship issues.\", \"描述\": \"Sending a message like this can remind your boyfriend or girlfriend that love isn’t always easy, but it is an enormous and powerful force.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 32, \"标题\": \"“I goofed up.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A casual apology is good for when things aren’t so serious.\", \"描述\": \"If you know that your love isn’t so hurt by what happened, it’s okay to send an apology that’s more low-key. Be sure that what happened wasn’t a big deal to either of you before sending a casual apology—you don’t want to sound like you don’t take your love’s feelings seriously.\\nIf you prefer, you can just say, “I'm sorry.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 33, \"标题\": \"“Hey cutie—I know I messed up, and I’m sorry. Forgive me?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This is another useful option for a casual apology.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes it’s okay to apologize and move on quickly, and this message accomplishes exactly that.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"It’s okay to sound a bit sappy when writing to someone you love—as the philosopher Alain de Botton put it, “A good love letter should be embarrassing if it were discovered by an enemy.”[9]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
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1,808 | How to Appeal Academic Probation | 1. Preparing Your Appeal
1-1. Get an academic probation application form from your university advisor.
To start the appeals process, sit down with your university advisor. Ask her for the academic probation application form for your institution. Your advisor may also give you tips on how to complete the application form successfully.
The academic probation application forms may also be accessible online on your university’s website.
Ask your advisor about any deadlines for the application. You should schedule a follow up meeting with your advisor within the coming weeks to ensure you meet the deadline.
1-2. Review the components of the application.
Each institution will have different requirements for the application. You will be required to fulfill all the requirements outlined in the application form to ensure your appeal is reviewed by the Academic Appeals Committee. Your application form may require:
A letter of explanation. This is a formal, typed letter explaining the extenuating circumstances that lead to your poor academic performance during the last term you were enrolled. You may also need to provide official documentation to support your explanation of the detrimental circumstances.
An academic success plan. This document should describe how you are going to improve your academic performance.
A list of courses required for graduation. This list should show the Academic Appeals Committee that you have researched the courses you need to complete or re take to improve your academic standing and be approved for graduation.
1-3. Compose a letter of explanation.
Type up a concise letter that outlines the extenuating circumstances that lead to your poor academic performance during the last semester. There are several possible extenuating circumstances, ranging from medical issues to family issues. Some institutions may require you to also include official documentation that supports your extenuating circumstances.
Medical or psychological circumstances: You may have had medical issues that inhibited your ability to come to class and complete assignments. You will need to provide a statement from your physician or therapist that includes the dates you attended therapy sessions or saw your doctor. Your medical reference should also note if you are stable and able to return to your studies.
Personal or family emergency: Maybe you dealt with a serious medical or health issue involving your family or someone very close to you. You will need to provide medical documentation or a statement from a physician that describes the circumstances of the medical issue. You can also use a notarized statement from a parent or a family member.
Unexpected death of a family member: Perhaps you experienced the loss of a family member. You will need to provide a copy of the obituary, the funeral program, or a certified death certificate for the deceased.
Domestic violence or sexual assault: You may have experienced domestic violence or a sexual assault that left you unable to attend to your studies. You can use a copy of the police report or legal court documents as supporting evidence for your application. You should also include a statement from your physician or therapist indicating that you are stable and ready to attend to your studies.
Change of employment or unexpected financial issues: Perhaps you lost your job suddenly, or you had other expenses that hindered your ability to pay for tuition or to focus on your studies. You can provide statement from your employer proving your termination or your employment change. You can also use financial documents like bank statements. If you are appealing your academic probation based on financial reasons, your institution may have a specific process for your appeal. Talk to your advisor for more information.
1-4. Explain how the extenuating circumstances led to the academic probation.
Once you discuss the extenuating circumstances, and note the supporting official documents, you need to go into detail about how the circumstances affected your academic performance. Include at least one paragraph in your letter that elaborates on this, and discuss how you overcame these circumstances.
For example, perhaps you had to deal with a sudden death in your family. The death could have then thrown your world out of order and lead to a deep depression and mourning period. You neglected your assignments, slept through your classes, and had a hard time interacting with others. Eventually you decided to reach out to a therapist to help you process your emotions. You have been working with the therapist for two months and now feel ready to return to your studies.
1-5. Outline an academic success plan.
The Appeals Committee will want to know how you plan to get back on track and successfully complete your degree. Create a written plan that discusses how you are going to shift your academics, your on campus activities, your family life, and your social life. This will show the Appeals Committee that you are trying to improve in several different areas of your life, and are working towards being a well rounded and well balanced person.
Note any new study habits or goals you are going to commit to, and any academic resources on campus you plan to utilize, like a study group or a once a week meeting with your advisor. Discuss the types of activities you plan to do on campus, such as getting involved in sports teams, and off campus, such as volunteer work with the homeless or the elderly.
If you have issues with employment in the past, and with paying your tuition payments, you should note how you are going to shift your finances to afford to pay for tuition and living expenses on time. You may take out a personal line of credit, or apply for scholarships and loans. Or you may apply for part time jobs to help pay for your studies.
1-6. Include a list of courses needed for graduation.
Do some research on your academic standing to determine which courses you need to complete or re take to improve your GPA and attain your degree. This will show the Appeals Committee that you have considered exactly which courses you need to take to succeed academically and that you are motivated to graduate.
Create a semester by semester outline of the all outstanding courses. Note which semester you will take each course and have the course list approved by your academic advisor.
2. Submitting the Appeal
2-1. Review your application with your advisor.
Before you submit your appeal application, sit down again with your advisor to go over your application. Ensure you have all the necessary documents for the application and you have included all the appropriate materials. Your advisor can help you check off each required item.
Your advisor can also go over the next steps in the Academic Appeals process for your institution, such as where to turn in your completed application and how long you will have to wait for a decision from the committee.
You should also discuss an alternative plan with your advisor in the event your appeal is denied. You may choose to wait to reapply the following term or to take continuing education classes at another institution. Talk to your advisor about your Plan B options.
2-2. Proof read your application.
Once you have confirmed you have all the necessary documents for your application and your advisor has signed off on the application, do one more read through of the documents. Look for any spelling or grammar errors, as your application should appear as professional as possible. Read your letter of explanation backwards for any typos.
2-3. Submit your application for review by the Academic Appeals Committee.
Depending on your institution, your advisor may be able to file your application with the committee for you. Alternatively, you may need to hand in your application yourself to your institution’s academic appeals office.
Wait times for the results of an academic probation appeal vary from institution to institution.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing Your Appeal\\n1-1. Get an academic probation application form from your university advisor.\\nTo start the appeals process, sit down with your university advisor. Ask her for the academic probation application form for your institution. Your advisor may also give you tips on how to complete the application form successfully.\\nThe academic probation application forms may also be accessible online on your university’s website.\\nAsk your advisor about any deadlines for the application. You should schedule a follow up meeting with your advisor within the coming weeks to ensure you meet the deadline.\\n1-2. Review the components of the application.\\nEach institution will have different requirements for the application. You will be required to fulfill all the requirements outlined in the application form to ensure your appeal is reviewed by the Academic Appeals Committee. Your application form may require:\\nA letter of explanation. This is a formal, typed letter explaining the extenuating circumstances that lead to your poor academic performance during the last term you were enrolled. You may also need to provide official documentation to support your explanation of the detrimental circumstances.\\nAn academic success plan. This document should describe how you are going to improve your academic performance.\\nA list of courses required for graduation. This list should show the Academic Appeals Committee that you have researched the courses you need to complete or re take to improve your academic standing and be approved for graduation.\\n1-3. Compose a letter of explanation.\\nType up a concise letter that outlines the extenuating circumstances that lead to your poor academic performance during the last semester. There are several possible extenuating circumstances, ranging from medical issues to family issues. Some institutions may require you to also include official documentation that supports your extenuating circumstances.\\nMedical or psychological circumstances: You may have had medical issues that inhibited your ability to come to class and complete assignments. You will need to provide a statement from your physician or therapist that includes the dates you attended therapy sessions or saw your doctor. Your medical reference should also note if you are stable and able to return to your studies.\\nPersonal or family emergency: Maybe you dealt with a serious medical or health issue involving your family or someone very close to you. You will need to provide medical documentation or a statement from a physician that describes the circumstances of the medical issue. You can also use a notarized statement from a parent or a family member.\\nUnexpected death of a family member: Perhaps you experienced the loss of a family member. You will need to provide a copy of the obituary, the funeral program, or a certified death certificate for the deceased.\\nDomestic violence or sexual assault: You may have experienced domestic violence or a sexual assault that left you unable to attend to your studies. You can use a copy of the police report or legal court documents as supporting evidence for your application. You should also include a statement from your physician or therapist indicating that you are stable and ready to attend to your studies.\\nChange of employment or unexpected financial issues: Perhaps you lost your job suddenly, or you had other expenses that hindered your ability to pay for tuition or to focus on your studies. You can provide statement from your employer proving your termination or your employment change. You can also use financial documents like bank statements. If you are appealing your academic probation based on financial reasons, your institution may have a specific process for your appeal. Talk to your advisor for more information.\\n1-4. Explain how the extenuating circumstances led to the academic probation.\\nOnce you discuss the extenuating circumstances, and note the supporting official documents, you need to go into detail about how the circumstances affected your academic performance. Include at least one paragraph in your letter that elaborates on this, and discuss how you overcame these circumstances.\\nFor example, perhaps you had to deal with a sudden death in your family. The death could have then thrown your world out of order and lead to a deep depression and mourning period. You neglected your assignments, slept through your classes, and had a hard time interacting with others. Eventually you decided to reach out to a therapist to help you process your emotions. You have been working with the therapist for two months and now feel ready to return to your studies.\\n1-5. Outline an academic success plan.\\nThe Appeals Committee will want to know how you plan to get back on track and successfully complete your degree. Create a written plan that discusses how you are going to shift your academics, your on campus activities, your family life, and your social life. This will show the Appeals Committee that you are trying to improve in several different areas of your life, and are working towards being a well rounded and well balanced person. \\nNote any new study habits or goals you are going to commit to, and any academic resources on campus you plan to utilize, like a study group or a once a week meeting with your advisor. Discuss the types of activities you plan to do on campus, such as getting involved in sports teams, and off campus, such as volunteer work with the homeless or the elderly.\\nIf you have issues with employment in the past, and with paying your tuition payments, you should note how you are going to shift your finances to afford to pay for tuition and living expenses on time. You may take out a personal line of credit, or apply for scholarships and loans. Or you may apply for part time jobs to help pay for your studies.\\n1-6. Include a list of courses needed for graduation.\\nDo some research on your academic standing to determine which courses you need to complete or re take to improve your GPA and attain your degree. This will show the Appeals Committee that you have considered exactly which courses you need to take to succeed academically and that you are motivated to graduate. \\nCreate a semester by semester outline of the all outstanding courses. Note which semester you will take each course and have the course list approved by your academic advisor.\\n2. Submitting the Appeal\\n2-1. Review your application with your advisor.\\nBefore you submit your appeal application, sit down again with your advisor to go over your application. Ensure you have all the necessary documents for the application and you have included all the appropriate materials. Your advisor can help you check off each required item. \\nYour advisor can also go over the next steps in the Academic Appeals process for your institution, such as where to turn in your completed application and how long you will have to wait for a decision from the committee.\\nYou should also discuss an alternative plan with your advisor in the event your appeal is denied. You may choose to wait to reapply the following term or to take continuing education classes at another institution. Talk to your advisor about your Plan B options.\\n2-2. Proof read your application.\\nOnce you have confirmed you have all the necessary documents for your application and your advisor has signed off on the application, do one more read through of the documents. Look for any spelling or grammar errors, as your application should appear as professional as possible. Read your letter of explanation backwards for any typos.\\n2-3. Submit your application for review by the Academic Appeals Committee.\\nDepending on your institution, your advisor may be able to file your application with the committee for you. Alternatively, you may need to hand in your application yourself to your institution’s academic appeals office.\\nWait times for the results of an academic probation appeal vary from institution to institution.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"As a student at a university or college, you are expected to maintain good academic standing by showing up for classes and maintaining a certain GPA. When you drop below good academic standing, you may end up being placed on academic probation. Most institutions will allow you appeal your academic probation to try to reinstate your academic standing and work towards graduation.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing Your Appeal\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get an academic probation application form from your university advisor.\", \"描述\": \"To start the appeals process, sit down with your university advisor. Ask her for the academic probation application form for your institution. Your advisor may also give you tips on how to complete the application form successfully.\\nThe academic probation application forms may also be accessible online on your university’s website.\\nAsk your advisor about any deadlines for the application. You should schedule a follow up meeting with your advisor within the coming weeks to ensure you meet the deadline.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Review the components of the application.\", \"描述\": \"Each institution will have different requirements for the application. You will be required to fulfill all the requirements outlined in the application form to ensure your appeal is reviewed by the Academic Appeals Committee. Your application form may require:\\nA letter of explanation. This is a formal, typed letter explaining the extenuating circumstances that lead to your poor academic performance during the last term you were enrolled. You may also need to provide official documentation to support your explanation of the detrimental circumstances.\\nAn academic success plan. This document should describe how you are going to improve your academic performance.\\nA list of courses required for graduation. This list should show the Academic Appeals Committee that you have researched the courses you need to complete or re take to improve your academic standing and be approved for graduation.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Compose a letter of explanation.\", \"描述\": \"Type up a concise letter that outlines the extenuating circumstances that lead to your poor academic performance during the last semester. There are several possible extenuating circumstances, ranging from medical issues to family issues. Some institutions may require you to also include official documentation that supports your extenuating circumstances.\\nMedical or psychological circumstances: You may have had medical issues that inhibited your ability to come to class and complete assignments. You will need to provide a statement from your physician or therapist that includes the dates you attended therapy sessions or saw your doctor. Your medical reference should also note if you are stable and able to return to your studies.\\nPersonal or family emergency: Maybe you dealt with a serious medical or health issue involving your family or someone very close to you. You will need to provide medical documentation or a statement from a physician that describes the circumstances of the medical issue. You can also use a notarized statement from a parent or a family member.\\nUnexpected death of a family member: Perhaps you experienced the loss of a family member. You will need to provide a copy of the obituary, the funeral program, or a certified death certificate for the deceased.\\nDomestic violence or sexual assault: You may have experienced domestic violence or a sexual assault that left you unable to attend to your studies. You can use a copy of the police report or legal court documents as supporting evidence for your application. You should also include a statement from your physician or therapist indicating that you are stable and ready to attend to your studies.\\nChange of employment or unexpected financial issues: Perhaps you lost your job suddenly, or you had other expenses that hindered your ability to pay for tuition or to focus on your studies. You can provide statement from your employer proving your termination or your employment change. You can also use financial documents like bank statements. If you are appealing your academic probation based on financial reasons, your institution may have a specific process for your appeal. Talk to your advisor for more information.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Explain how the extenuating circumstances led to the academic probation.\", \"描述\": \"Once you discuss the extenuating circumstances, and note the supporting official documents, you need to go into detail about how the circumstances affected your academic performance. Include at least one paragraph in your letter that elaborates on this, and discuss how you overcame these circumstances.\\nFor example, perhaps you had to deal with a sudden death in your family. The death could have then thrown your world out of order and lead to a deep depression and mourning period. You neglected your assignments, slept through your classes, and had a hard time interacting with others. Eventually you decided to reach out to a therapist to help you process your emotions. You have been working with the therapist for two months and now feel ready to return to your studies.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Outline an academic success plan.\", \"描述\": \"The Appeals Committee will want to know how you plan to get back on track and successfully complete your degree. Create a written plan that discusses how you are going to shift your academics, your on campus activities, your family life, and your social life. This will show the Appeals Committee that you are trying to improve in several different areas of your life, and are working towards being a well rounded and well balanced person. \\nNote any new study habits or goals you are going to commit to, and any academic resources on campus you plan to utilize, like a study group or a once a week meeting with your advisor. Discuss the types of activities you plan to do on campus, such as getting involved in sports teams, and off campus, such as volunteer work with the homeless or the elderly.\\nIf you have issues with employment in the past, and with paying your tuition payments, you should note how you are going to shift your finances to afford to pay for tuition and living expenses on time. You may take out a personal line of credit, or apply for scholarships and loans. Or you may apply for part time jobs to help pay for your studies.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Include a list of courses needed for graduation.\", \"描述\": \"Do some research on your academic standing to determine which courses you need to complete or re take to improve your GPA and attain your degree. This will show the Appeals Committee that you have considered exactly which courses you need to take to succeed academically and that you are motivated to graduate. \\nCreate a semester by semester outline of the all outstanding courses. Note which semester you will take each course and have the course list approved by your academic advisor.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Submitting the Appeal\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Review your application with your advisor.\", \"描述\": \"Before you submit your appeal application, sit down again with your advisor to go over your application. Ensure you have all the necessary documents for the application and you have included all the appropriate materials. Your advisor can help you check off each required item. \\nYour advisor can also go over the next steps in the Academic Appeals process for your institution, such as where to turn in your completed application and how long you will have to wait for a decision from the committee.\\nYou should also discuss an alternative plan with your advisor in the event your appeal is denied. You may choose to wait to reapply the following term or to take continuing education classes at another institution. Talk to your advisor about your Plan B options.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Proof read your application.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have confirmed you have all the necessary documents for your application and your advisor has signed off on the application, do one more read through of the documents. Look for any spelling or grammar errors, as your application should appear as professional as possible. Read your letter of explanation backwards for any typos.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Submit your application for review by the Academic Appeals Committee.\", \"描述\": \"Depending on your institution, your advisor may be able to file your application with the committee for you. Alternatively, you may need to hand in your application yourself to your institution’s academic appeals office.\\nWait times for the results of an academic probation appeal vary from institution to institution.\"}]}]}}",
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1,809 | How to Appeal Citations for Animal Law Violations | 1. Filing a Notice of Appeal
1-1. Contact the agency that issued the citation.
The citation you received will have information for the agency that issued it, including an address and phone number you can use to respond to the citation.
In larger cities, you also may have the option of responding to the citation online.
Typically your citation also will include a deadline by which you must respond if you intend to appeal the citation. Mark this deadline on your calendar and make sure you don't miss it or you may lose your ability to appeal.
1-2. Submit supporting documentation.
Some agencies have a paper review before you can request a hearing on your citation. If you have documents that prove the citation was issued in error, you must send these to the agency.
For example, if you were cited for not having your dog vaccinated against rabies, you can send proof of your dog's vaccination to the animal control agency.
Keep in mind that typically your documents must have a date before the date on the citation. Some jurisdictions may provide a grace period after the issuance of the citation that allows you to fulfill the requirement of the ordinance within a few days or the week after the citation and pay a lower fine.
You also may send documentation showing that you shouldn't have been cited because you aren't the lawful owner of the animal that is the subject of the violation.
1-3. Request an administrative hearing.
Citation appeals typically are heard by a hearings officer at a live hearing. In most jurisdictions, a request for a hearing must be made in writing by the deadline listed on the citation.
Your city or county's agency may have a form you can fill out to request a hearing, or you may have to send in a letter.
Make sure the identification number of your citation is included on your request, as well as the name or number of the ordinance you're cited with violating.
In some cities or counties you may be required to pay a portion of the fines assessed before a hearing will be granted.
1-4. Receive notice of your hearing date.
Within a few days after you've submitted your request, you'll get a notice from the agency telling you the date, time, and location of your hearing. If you can't make it, call the agency to reschedule it as soon as possible.
Your notice also may include information about what to expect at the hearing and the types of evidence you can bring.
If you're allowed to bring witnesses to the hearing, you may be required to provide their names and contact information in advance of the hearing.
2. Attending Your Hearing
2-1. Gather information.
At your appeals hearing, you must present evidence to prove that you shouldn't have been issued the citation. Typically you're allowed to present documents or photos, as well as call witnesses.
Read the ordinance you've been cited with violating carefully. It may provide information you can use to defeat the citation.
For example, you may have received a citation for failing to provide your dog with adequate food and water. The ordinance defines what is considered to be adequate.
If you can prove you provided your dog with the amounts of food and water required by the ordinance, you should be able to defeat the citation.
Try to provide as much objective evidence as possible, rather than simply relying on your word against the word of the agent or officer who issued the citation.
2-2. Consider consulting an attorney.
Most jurisdictions allow you to be represented by an attorney at the appeals hearing. You must pay attorney's fees out of your own pocket – you don't have the right to an appointed attorney if you can't afford one.
Even if you don't feel the need to hire an attorney to represent you in the hearing itself, you may want to discuss your case with someone who has experience with the animal law in your area.
In some situations, such as if your dog has been impounded and may be put down, hiring an attorney to represent you can give you peace of mind that you did all you could to save your pet.
If you want to talk to an attorney, look for someone with experience in animal law cases that practices in the same city or county where you live.
Your local bar association's website typically will have a searchable directory of licensed attorneys.
2-3. Talk to any witnesses.
Typically you can bring witnesses with you to testify on your behalf that the citation was issued in error. If you have witnesses you want to bring, meet with them before the hearing to go over what they will say.
Witnesses will be much more valuable if the citation is for violation of a behavioral ordinance rather than a status ordinance.
For example, if you were issued a citation because your dog was barking excessively, testimony from neighbors that your dog's barking hasn't bothered them and that they never viewed it as excessive may be helpful.
If a witness agrees to testify, discuss the questions you plan to ask them before the hearing, as well as some of the questions you anticipate they may be asked on cross-examination.
2-4. Appear on your hearing date.
Your appeal will be dismissed if you don't show up for your hearing. Likewise, you may be eligible to win your appeal if no one shows up to represent the agency that issued the citation.
If the citation was issued as the result of a complaint from a private individual, typically that individual also must show up on the hearing date or the entire citation will be dismissed.
Keep in mind that the hearings officer may have multiple hearings scheduled for the same day, so there may be other people waiting. Listening to other hearings before yours can give you an idea of what to expect and how the hearings are handled.
Typically someone will be there representing the agency that issued the citation. That person will speak first and explain how, when, where, and why the citation was issued to you.
2-5. Present your case.
After the agency explains its reasons for issuing the citation, you will have the opportunity to tell the hearings officer why you shouldn't have been issued the citation and introduce evidence or witnesses on your behalf.
Stick to the facts, and make your statements clear and concise. It can be instinctive to try to appeal to the emotions of the hearings officer, for example by describing how the animal cited is a beloved pet to your young children.
However, these hearings officers typically have heard it all before and must apply the law – they can't make an exception just because they feel sorry for you.
Keep in mind that if the hearings officer finds the citation to be valid, you may be assessed additional fines or have to pay for the costs of the administrative hearing.
2-6. Receive the hearings officer's decision.
After you've presented your case, the hearings officer typically will issue his or her ruling on the matter. At that time, you'll find out what the next steps will be.
If the hearings officer rules in your favor, you don't have to pay any fines associated with the citation. If your pet was impounded, you can make arrangements to retrieve it.
If the hearings officer rules against you, he or she will let you know what the process is to contest the decision.
In some jurisdictions, if the citation was issued as the result of a complaint from a private individual, that individual has the right to file an appeal if the hearings officer rules in your favor.
3. Contesting the Decision
3-1. Comply with agency regulations regarding the cited animal.
If an animal has been taken from you as the result of an animal law violation and you have lost your administrative appeal, you typically must make arrangements to pay for the continued holding of the animal.
Some jurisdictions may require you to pay holding fees for each day your pet is held by the city or county.
You also may be required to pay a portion of the fine charged on your citation before you are allowed to appeal the hearings officer's decision.
In some situations, an impounded animal may qualify for a conditional release. If your pet is being held, the hearings officer will let you know if this option is available to you.
3-2. File an appeal request with the appropriate court.
Administrative decisions may be reviewed by a county civil court or a state appeals court. You must request an appeal in writing before a certain deadline, typically only a few days after the hearing.
Some jurisdictions may have a form you can fill out to appeal the hearings officer's decision. If not, ask an administrative clerk if you can look at an example of another appeal filed.
You also may be able to find out information about the format and information required in your appeal request by contacting the clerk of the court that would hear the appeal.
3-3. Consider hiring an attorney.
While you may not have felt you needed an attorney for your administrative hearing, a court appeals before a judge involves more complex rules of procedure and evidence.
Search for an attorney in your area with experience defending pet owners against animal law citations. You may want to interview more than one attorney before you make your final decision.
Particularly if you're facing an order that your pet be euthanized, it is advisable to hire an attorney to represent your interests and the interests of your pet.
Keep in mind that in most cases this is your last chance to fight the citation.
3-4. Prepare for your hearing.
You will receive a notice of the date, time, and location of your court hearing. If you need to reschedule this hearing, make sure you do so as soon as possible after receiving the notice.
Typically at this level of appeal you must be able to demonstrate that the hearings officer's decision was an incorrect application of the law.
If you've hired an attorney, he or she will work with you regarding the evidence you presented at the administrative hearing and how that evidence should have been interpreted.
If you're representing yourself, talk to the court clerk about what to expect at the hearing. Keep in mind the clerk can answer procedural questions but cannot give you legal advice about your case.
You may want to observe similar cases before your case is scheduled, if there are any on the docket. It will help you get a good idea of what to expect and the procedures followed in the courtroom.
3-5. Present your case to the court.
On the day of your hearing, you will have the opportunity to explain to a county court or appeals court judge why the decision of the hearings officer was wrong and the citation against you should be dismissed.
If you're representing yourself, remember you shouldn't speak until the judge gives you permission.
Speak in a loud, clear voice, and make your case in short, concise statements of the facts. Focus on the reasons the hearings officer's decision was incorrect, not the reasons you were hurt or upset by it.
Typically this is your last chance to appeal. If the judge upholds the decision of the hearings officer, that decision stands.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:12",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Filing a Notice of Appeal\\n1-1. Contact the agency that issued the citation.\\nThe citation you received will have information for the agency that issued it, including an address and phone number you can use to respond to the citation.\\nIn larger cities, you also may have the option of responding to the citation online.\\nTypically your citation also will include a deadline by which you must respond if you intend to appeal the citation. Mark this deadline on your calendar and make sure you don't miss it or you may lose your ability to appeal.\\n1-2. Submit supporting documentation.\\nSome agencies have a paper review before you can request a hearing on your citation. If you have documents that prove the citation was issued in error, you must send these to the agency.\\nFor example, if you were cited for not having your dog vaccinated against rabies, you can send proof of your dog's vaccination to the animal control agency.\\nKeep in mind that typically your documents must have a date before the date on the citation. Some jurisdictions may provide a grace period after the issuance of the citation that allows you to fulfill the requirement of the ordinance within a few days or the week after the citation and pay a lower fine.\\nYou also may send documentation showing that you shouldn't have been cited because you aren't the lawful owner of the animal that is the subject of the violation.\\n1-3. Request an administrative hearing.\\nCitation appeals typically are heard by a hearings officer at a live hearing. In most jurisdictions, a request for a hearing must be made in writing by the deadline listed on the citation.\\nYour city or county's agency may have a form you can fill out to request a hearing, or you may have to send in a letter.\\nMake sure the identification number of your citation is included on your request, as well as the name or number of the ordinance you're cited with violating.\\nIn some cities or counties you may be required to pay a portion of the fines assessed before a hearing will be granted.\\n1-4. Receive notice of your hearing date.\\nWithin a few days after you've submitted your request, you'll get a notice from the agency telling you the date, time, and location of your hearing. If you can't make it, call the agency to reschedule it as soon as possible.\\nYour notice also may include information about what to expect at the hearing and the types of evidence you can bring.\\nIf you're allowed to bring witnesses to the hearing, you may be required to provide their names and contact information in advance of the hearing.\\n2. Attending Your Hearing\\n2-1. Gather information.\\nAt your appeals hearing, you must present evidence to prove that you shouldn't have been issued the citation. Typically you're allowed to present documents or photos, as well as call witnesses.\\nRead the ordinance you've been cited with violating carefully. It may provide information you can use to defeat the citation.\\nFor example, you may have received a citation for failing to provide your dog with adequate food and water. The ordinance defines what is considered to be adequate.\\nIf you can prove you provided your dog with the amounts of food and water required by the ordinance, you should be able to defeat the citation.\\nTry to provide as much objective evidence as possible, rather than simply relying on your word against the word of the agent or officer who issued the citation.\\n2-2. Consider consulting an attorney.\\nMost jurisdictions allow you to be represented by an attorney at the appeals hearing. You must pay attorney's fees out of your own pocket – you don't have the right to an appointed attorney if you can't afford one.\\nEven if you don't feel the need to hire an attorney to represent you in the hearing itself, you may want to discuss your case with someone who has experience with the animal law in your area.\\nIn some situations, such as if your dog has been impounded and may be put down, hiring an attorney to represent you can give you peace of mind that you did all you could to save your pet.\\nIf you want to talk to an attorney, look for someone with experience in animal law cases that practices in the same city or county where you live.\\nYour local bar association's website typically will have a searchable directory of licensed attorneys.\\n2-3. Talk to any witnesses.\\nTypically you can bring witnesses with you to testify on your behalf that the citation was issued in error. If you have witnesses you want to bring, meet with them before the hearing to go over what they will say.\\nWitnesses will be much more valuable if the citation is for violation of a behavioral ordinance rather than a status ordinance.\\nFor example, if you were issued a citation because your dog was barking excessively, testimony from neighbors that your dog's barking hasn't bothered them and that they never viewed it as excessive may be helpful.\\nIf a witness agrees to testify, discuss the questions you plan to ask them before the hearing, as well as some of the questions you anticipate they may be asked on cross-examination.\\n2-4. Appear on your hearing date.\\nYour appeal will be dismissed if you don't show up for your hearing. Likewise, you may be eligible to win your appeal if no one shows up to represent the agency that issued the citation.\\nIf the citation was issued as the result of a complaint from a private individual, typically that individual also must show up on the hearing date or the entire citation will be dismissed.\\nKeep in mind that the hearings officer may have multiple hearings scheduled for the same day, so there may be other people waiting. Listening to other hearings before yours can give you an idea of what to expect and how the hearings are handled.\\nTypically someone will be there representing the agency that issued the citation. That person will speak first and explain how, when, where, and why the citation was issued to you.\\n2-5. Present your case.\\nAfter the agency explains its reasons for issuing the citation, you will have the opportunity to tell the hearings officer why you shouldn't have been issued the citation and introduce evidence or witnesses on your behalf.\\nStick to the facts, and make your statements clear and concise. It can be instinctive to try to appeal to the emotions of the hearings officer, for example by describing how the animal cited is a beloved pet to your young children.\\nHowever, these hearings officers typically have heard it all before and must apply the law – they can't make an exception just because they feel sorry for you.\\nKeep in mind that if the hearings officer finds the citation to be valid, you may be assessed additional fines or have to pay for the costs of the administrative hearing.\\n2-6. Receive the hearings officer's decision.\\nAfter you've presented your case, the hearings officer typically will issue his or her ruling on the matter. At that time, you'll find out what the next steps will be.\\nIf the hearings officer rules in your favor, you don't have to pay any fines associated with the citation. If your pet was impounded, you can make arrangements to retrieve it.\\nIf the hearings officer rules against you, he or she will let you know what the process is to contest the decision.\\nIn some jurisdictions, if the citation was issued as the result of a complaint from a private individual, that individual has the right to file an appeal if the hearings officer rules in your favor.\\n3. Contesting the Decision\\n3-1. Comply with agency regulations regarding the cited animal.\\nIf an animal has been taken from you as the result of an animal law violation and you have lost your administrative appeal, you typically must make arrangements to pay for the continued holding of the animal.\\nSome jurisdictions may require you to pay holding fees for each day your pet is held by the city or county.\\nYou also may be required to pay a portion of the fine charged on your citation before you are allowed to appeal the hearings officer's decision.\\nIn some situations, an impounded animal may qualify for a conditional release. If your pet is being held, the hearings officer will let you know if this option is available to you.\\n3-2. File an appeal request with the appropriate court.\\nAdministrative decisions may be reviewed by a county civil court or a state appeals court. You must request an appeal in writing before a certain deadline, typically only a few days after the hearing.\\nSome jurisdictions may have a form you can fill out to appeal the hearings officer's decision. If not, ask an administrative clerk if you can look at an example of another appeal filed.\\nYou also may be able to find out information about the format and information required in your appeal request by contacting the clerk of the court that would hear the appeal.\\n3-3. Consider hiring an attorney.\\nWhile you may not have felt you needed an attorney for your administrative hearing, a court appeals before a judge involves more complex rules of procedure and evidence.\\nSearch for an attorney in your area with experience defending pet owners against animal law citations. You may want to interview more than one attorney before you make your final decision.\\nParticularly if you're facing an order that your pet be euthanized, it is advisable to hire an attorney to represent your interests and the interests of your pet.\\nKeep in mind that in most cases this is your last chance to fight the citation.\\n3-4. Prepare for your hearing.\\nYou will receive a notice of the date, time, and location of your court hearing. If you need to reschedule this hearing, make sure you do so as soon as possible after receiving the notice.\\nTypically at this level of appeal you must be able to demonstrate that the hearings officer's decision was an incorrect application of the law.\\nIf you've hired an attorney, he or she will work with you regarding the evidence you presented at the administrative hearing and how that evidence should have been interpreted.\\nIf you're representing yourself, talk to the court clerk about what to expect at the hearing. Keep in mind the clerk can answer procedural questions but cannot give you legal advice about your case.\\nYou may want to observe similar cases before your case is scheduled, if there are any on the docket. It will help you get a good idea of what to expect and the procedures followed in the courtroom.\\n3-5. Present your case to the court.\\nOn the day of your hearing, you will have the opportunity to explain to a county court or appeals court judge why the decision of the hearings officer was wrong and the citation against you should be dismissed.\\nIf you're representing yourself, remember you shouldn't speak until the judge gives you permission.\\nSpeak in a loud, clear voice, and make your case in short, concise statements of the facts. Focus on the reasons the hearings officer's decision was incorrect, not the reasons you were hurt or upset by it.\\nTypically this is your last chance to appeal. If the judge upholds the decision of the hearings officer, that decision stands.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Animal law citations typically involve a violation of a city or county ordinance, such as a requirement that pets be in a crate or on a leash if off your property, or that all cats and dogs be vaccinated against rabies. If you receive such a citation and want to fight it, you typically must appeal the citation within a brief period of time and attend a hearing. While the general process is similar, specific procedures vary among jurisdictions, so check with your local animal control agency to find out exactly what you need to do.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Filing a Notice of Appeal\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Contact the agency that issued the citation.\", \"描述\": \"The citation you received will have information for the agency that issued it, including an address and phone number you can use to respond to the citation.\\nIn larger cities, you also may have the option of responding to the citation online.\\nTypically your citation also will include a deadline by which you must respond if you intend to appeal the citation. Mark this deadline on your calendar and make sure you don't miss it or you may lose your ability to appeal.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Submit supporting documentation.\", \"描述\": \"Some agencies have a paper review before you can request a hearing on your citation. If you have documents that prove the citation was issued in error, you must send these to the agency.\\nFor example, if you were cited for not having your dog vaccinated against rabies, you can send proof of your dog's vaccination to the animal control agency.\\nKeep in mind that typically your documents must have a date before the date on the citation. Some jurisdictions may provide a grace period after the issuance of the citation that allows you to fulfill the requirement of the ordinance within a few days or the week after the citation and pay a lower fine.\\nYou also may send documentation showing that you shouldn't have been cited because you aren't the lawful owner of the animal that is the subject of the violation.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Request an administrative hearing.\", \"描述\": \"Citation appeals typically are heard by a hearings officer at a live hearing. In most jurisdictions, a request for a hearing must be made in writing by the deadline listed on the citation.\\nYour city or county's agency may have a form you can fill out to request a hearing, or you may have to send in a letter.\\nMake sure the identification number of your citation is included on your request, as well as the name or number of the ordinance you're cited with violating.\\nIn some cities or counties you may be required to pay a portion of the fines assessed before a hearing will be granted.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Receive notice of your hearing date.\", \"描述\": \"Within a few days after you've submitted your request, you'll get a notice from the agency telling you the date, time, and location of your hearing. If you can't make it, call the agency to reschedule it as soon as possible.\\nYour notice also may include information about what to expect at the hearing and the types of evidence you can bring.\\nIf you're allowed to bring witnesses to the hearing, you may be required to provide their names and contact information in advance of the hearing.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Attending Your Hearing\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Gather information.\", \"描述\": \"At your appeals hearing, you must present evidence to prove that you shouldn't have been issued the citation. Typically you're allowed to present documents or photos, as well as call witnesses.\\nRead the ordinance you've been cited with violating carefully. It may provide information you can use to defeat the citation.\\nFor example, you may have received a citation for failing to provide your dog with adequate food and water. The ordinance defines what is considered to be adequate.\\nIf you can prove you provided your dog with the amounts of food and water required by the ordinance, you should be able to defeat the citation.\\nTry to provide as much objective evidence as possible, rather than simply relying on your word against the word of the agent or officer who issued the citation.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider consulting an attorney.\", \"描述\": \"Most jurisdictions allow you to be represented by an attorney at the appeals hearing. You must pay attorney's fees out of your own pocket – you don't have the right to an appointed attorney if you can't afford one.\\nEven if you don't feel the need to hire an attorney to represent you in the hearing itself, you may want to discuss your case with someone who has experience with the animal law in your area.\\nIn some situations, such as if your dog has been impounded and may be put down, hiring an attorney to represent you can give you peace of mind that you did all you could to save your pet.\\nIf you want to talk to an attorney, look for someone with experience in animal law cases that practices in the same city or county where you live.\\nYour local bar association's website typically will have a searchable directory of licensed attorneys.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk to any witnesses.\", \"描述\": \"Typically you can bring witnesses with you to testify on your behalf that the citation was issued in error. If you have witnesses you want to bring, meet with them before the hearing to go over what they will say.\\nWitnesses will be much more valuable if the citation is for violation of a behavioral ordinance rather than a status ordinance.\\nFor example, if you were issued a citation because your dog was barking excessively, testimony from neighbors that your dog's barking hasn't bothered them and that they never viewed it as excessive may be helpful.\\nIf a witness agrees to testify, discuss the questions you plan to ask them before the hearing, as well as some of the questions you anticipate they may be asked on cross-examination.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Appear on your hearing date.\", \"描述\": \"Your appeal will be dismissed if you don't show up for your hearing. Likewise, you may be eligible to win your appeal if no one shows up to represent the agency that issued the citation.\\nIf the citation was issued as the result of a complaint from a private individual, typically that individual also must show up on the hearing date or the entire citation will be dismissed.\\nKeep in mind that the hearings officer may have multiple hearings scheduled for the same day, so there may be other people waiting. Listening to other hearings before yours can give you an idea of what to expect and how the hearings are handled.\\nTypically someone will be there representing the agency that issued the citation. That person will speak first and explain how, when, where, and why the citation was issued to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Present your case.\", \"描述\": \"After the agency explains its reasons for issuing the citation, you will have the opportunity to tell the hearings officer why you shouldn't have been issued the citation and introduce evidence or witnesses on your behalf.\\nStick to the facts, and make your statements clear and concise. It can be instinctive to try to appeal to the emotions of the hearings officer, for example by describing how the animal cited is a beloved pet to your young children.\\nHowever, these hearings officers typically have heard it all before and must apply the law – they can't make an exception just because they feel sorry for you.\\nKeep in mind that if the hearings officer finds the citation to be valid, you may be assessed additional fines or have to pay for the costs of the administrative hearing.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Receive the hearings officer's decision.\", \"描述\": \"After you've presented your case, the hearings officer typically will issue his or her ruling on the matter. At that time, you'll find out what the next steps will be.\\nIf the hearings officer rules in your favor, you don't have to pay any fines associated with the citation. If your pet was impounded, you can make arrangements to retrieve it.\\nIf the hearings officer rules against you, he or she will let you know what the process is to contest the decision.\\nIn some jurisdictions, if the citation was issued as the result of a complaint from a private individual, that individual has the right to file an appeal if the hearings officer rules in your favor.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Contesting the Decision\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Comply with agency regulations regarding the cited animal.\", \"描述\": \"If an animal has been taken from you as the result of an animal law violation and you have lost your administrative appeal, you typically must make arrangements to pay for the continued holding of the animal.\\nSome jurisdictions may require you to pay holding fees for each day your pet is held by the city or county.\\nYou also may be required to pay a portion of the fine charged on your citation before you are allowed to appeal the hearings officer's decision.\\nIn some situations, an impounded animal may qualify for a conditional release. If your pet is being held, the hearings officer will let you know if this option is available to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"File an appeal request with the appropriate court.\", \"描述\": \"Administrative decisions may be reviewed by a county civil court or a state appeals court. You must request an appeal in writing before a certain deadline, typically only a few days after the hearing.\\nSome jurisdictions may have a form you can fill out to appeal the hearings officer's decision. If not, ask an administrative clerk if you can look at an example of another appeal filed.\\nYou also may be able to find out information about the format and information required in your appeal request by contacting the clerk of the court that would hear the appeal.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consider hiring an attorney.\", \"描述\": \"While you may not have felt you needed an attorney for your administrative hearing, a court appeals before a judge involves more complex rules of procedure and evidence.\\nSearch for an attorney in your area with experience defending pet owners against animal law citations. You may want to interview more than one attorney before you make your final decision.\\nParticularly if you're facing an order that your pet be euthanized, it is advisable to hire an attorney to represent your interests and the interests of your pet.\\nKeep in mind that in most cases this is your last chance to fight the citation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Prepare for your hearing.\", \"描述\": \"You will receive a notice of the date, time, and location of your court hearing. If you need to reschedule this hearing, make sure you do so as soon as possible after receiving the notice.\\nTypically at this level of appeal you must be able to demonstrate that the hearings officer's decision was an incorrect application of the law.\\nIf you've hired an attorney, he or she will work with you regarding the evidence you presented at the administrative hearing and how that evidence should have been interpreted.\\nIf you're representing yourself, talk to the court clerk about what to expect at the hearing. Keep in mind the clerk can answer procedural questions but cannot give you legal advice about your case.\\nYou may want to observe similar cases before your case is scheduled, if there are any on the docket. It will help you get a good idea of what to expect and the procedures followed in the courtroom.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Present your case to the court.\", \"描述\": \"On the day of your hearing, you will have the opportunity to explain to a county court or appeals court judge why the decision of the hearings officer was wrong and the citation against you should be dismissed.\\nIf you're representing yourself, remember you shouldn't speak until the judge gives you permission.\\nSpeak in a loud, clear voice, and make your case in short, concise statements of the facts. Focus on the reasons the hearings officer's decision was incorrect, not the reasons you were hurt or upset by it.\\nTypically this is your last chance to appeal. If the judge upholds the decision of the hearings officer, that decision stands.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,810 | How to Appeal a Block on Wikipedia | 1. Steps
1-1. Try to edit the sandbox.
For all you may know, your block already expired. If you still see a notice that looks like this, then proceed down.
1-2. Understand why you were blocked.
If you were blocked, there will be a notice explaining why when you try to edit, and the administrator who blocked you will have probably left a message on your talk page explaining that you were blocked and why he/she blocked you.
It's important to understand that there's a distinction between blocking and banning in Wikipedia. Banning usually occurs by community consensus or Arbitration Committee decision. If you were banned in this manner, understand that your appeal will likely not even be considered unless it's been a long period of time after your ban initially started. Typically, for an un-ban request to have any sort of chance to succeed, you must wait at least six months before submitting a request.
Do not forget to cheer yourself up if you are innocent. If you did nothing wrong on Wikipedia and you are blocked, you should know that it is not your fault. In fact, cheer up with something else that you like and wait for that ugly template to go away.
1-3. Read Wikipedia's policies and guidelines.
Take your block as a chance for you to become more acquainted with Wikipedia's policies and guidelines so that you can move on from the block and become a well-respected user. Focus specifically on the policy that you were against so that you don't make the same mistake again.
1-4. Read Wikipedia's guide for appealing blocks.
This page explains how the appeal process works and how you can make an appeal.
1-5. Go to your talk page and click on "Edit."
You will usually be able to edit your talk page even if you are blocked. If you are unable to, then see alternative ways to get unblocked.
1-6. Put the template {{unblock|reason=Insert your reason to be unblocked here}} under the message indicating your block (if there is one; otherwise, put it at the bottom of the page).
Replace the "Insert your reason to be unblocked here" with the reason you want to be unblocked. A good unblock reason will:
Show that you understand why you were blocked and your understanding of the policy you were against. Address the reason for your block in your reasoning.
Admit that you did something wrong and that it won't happen again.
Show that the block is not necessary to stop you from causing further problems on the site.
Give links as evidence.
1-7. Double check your reason.
Make sure there are no errors and that you are saying everything that you want to say and click "Preview" to make sure there are no formatting errors.
1-8. Click "Save Page" to post your appeal.
1-9. Wait for administrators to accept your request.
At some point, an administrator will review your request and it can take anywhere from a few minutes to a few days for a review to happen. If your appeal is accepted, you'll be unblocked and able to edit again. If it's declined, on the other hand, you'll remain blocked, and the reviewing administrator will explain why he/she declined your appeal. Should your appeal be declined, go through the steps again to make another appeal, this time taking the declining administrator's comments in mind.
If you do get unblocked, then be sure not to repeat the behavior that got you blocked in the past. To prevent this, editing restrictions may be set to alert you that this is your final chance, and that any further misbehavior may result in a block for good.
Tips
Stay calm. Your attitude in your reasoning will be a factor in whether an administrator accepts or declines your appeal. Don't use all caps, as this is considering shouting, nor should you use profanity. Don't attack other editors, either, as this will lead to your appeal being declined.
Don't be discouraged if your appeal is declined. This means that the declining administrator didn't feel that your appeal was good enough to justify unblocking you. You can always give another appeal if you feel that your block was wrong.
Don't make your reasoning too long. You don't need a large wall of text. Instead, be brief and provide key information.
Warnings
Don't expect to be unblocked just by giving an appeal. You were (most likely) blocked for a good reason, and it's not as easy as it may seem to convince administrators that your block was unnecessary.
Don't make sock-puppets. If you do, the sock-puppets will be blocked, and you'll probably get a longer block (probably indefinite) and you'll also be less likely to have a successful appeal.
Don't abuse this process. Doing that or making too many declinable requests will lead to you losing your talk page access.
There might be a "To edit, please log in" template on your talk page. This means that your shared IP address has been blocked. In that case, request an account be created at accounts.wmflabs.org. Do not request an account from a blocked IP address so you can continue disrupting Wikipedia.
When travelling while blocked, attempts to edit from a different IP address will result in the IP address becoming auto-blocked. Auto-blocks transfer from account to IP, but not the other way around. In that case, use {{unblock-auto|Block ID|Autoblock message|Blocking admin}} from the blocked IP address instead for a faster unblock.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:12",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Try to edit the sandbox.\\nFor all you may know, your block already expired. If you still see a notice that looks like this, then proceed down.\\n1-2. Understand why you were blocked.\\nIf you were blocked, there will be a notice explaining why when you try to edit, and the administrator who blocked you will have probably left a message on your talk page explaining that you were blocked and why he/she blocked you.\\nIt's important to understand that there's a distinction between blocking and banning in Wikipedia. Banning usually occurs by community consensus or Arbitration Committee decision. If you were banned in this manner, understand that your appeal will likely not even be considered unless it's been a long period of time after your ban initially started. Typically, for an un-ban request to have any sort of chance to succeed, you must wait at least six months before submitting a request.\\nDo not forget to cheer yourself up if you are innocent. If you did nothing wrong on Wikipedia and you are blocked, you should know that it is not your fault. In fact, cheer up with something else that you like and wait for that ugly template to go away.\\n1-3. Read Wikipedia's policies and guidelines.\\nTake your block as a chance for you to become more acquainted with Wikipedia's policies and guidelines so that you can move on from the block and become a well-respected user. Focus specifically on the policy that you were against so that you don't make the same mistake again.\\n1-4. Read Wikipedia's guide for appealing blocks.\\nThis page explains how the appeal process works and how you can make an appeal.\\n1-5. Go to your talk page and click on \\\"Edit.\\\"\\nYou will usually be able to edit your talk page even if you are blocked. If you are unable to, then see alternative ways to get unblocked.\\n1-6. Put the template {{unblock|reason=Insert your reason to be unblocked here}} under the message indicating your block (if there is one; otherwise, put it at the bottom of the page).\\nReplace the \\\"Insert your reason to be unblocked here\\\" with the reason you want to be unblocked. A good unblock reason will:\\nShow that you understand why you were blocked and your understanding of the policy you were against. Address the reason for your block in your reasoning.\\nAdmit that you did something wrong and that it won't happen again.\\nShow that the block is not necessary to stop you from causing further problems on the site.\\nGive links as evidence.\\n1-7. Double check your reason.\\nMake sure there are no errors and that you are saying everything that you want to say and click \\\"Preview\\\" to make sure there are no formatting errors.\\n1-8. Click \\\"Save Page\\\" to post your appeal.\\n\\n1-9. Wait for administrators to accept your request.\\nAt some point, an administrator will review your request and it can take anywhere from a few minutes to a few days for a review to happen. If your appeal is accepted, you'll be unblocked and able to edit again. If it's declined, on the other hand, you'll remain blocked, and the reviewing administrator will explain why he/she declined your appeal. Should your appeal be declined, go through the steps again to make another appeal, this time taking the declining administrator's comments in mind.\\nIf you do get unblocked, then be sure not to repeat the behavior that got you blocked in the past. To prevent this, editing restrictions may be set to alert you that this is your final chance, and that any further misbehavior may result in a block for good.\\nTips\\nStay calm. Your attitude in your reasoning will be a factor in whether an administrator accepts or declines your appeal. Don't use all caps, as this is considering shouting, nor should you use profanity. Don't attack other editors, either, as this will lead to your appeal being declined.\\nDon't be discouraged if your appeal is declined. This means that the declining administrator didn't feel that your appeal was good enough to justify unblocking you. You can always give another appeal if you feel that your block was wrong.\\nDon't make your reasoning too long. You don't need a large wall of text. Instead, be brief and provide key information.\\nWarnings\\nDon't expect to be unblocked just by giving an appeal. You were (most likely) blocked for a good reason, and it's not as easy as it may seem to convince administrators that your block was unnecessary.\\nDon't make sock-puppets. If you do, the sock-puppets will be blocked, and you'll probably get a longer block (probably indefinite) and you'll also be less likely to have a successful appeal.\\nDon't abuse this process. Doing that or making too many declinable requests will lead to you losing your talk page access.\\nThere might be a \\\"To edit, please log in\\\" template on your talk page. This means that your shared IP address has been blocked. In that case, request an account be created at accounts.wmflabs.org. Do not request an account from a blocked IP address so you can continue disrupting Wikipedia.\\nWhen travelling while blocked, attempts to edit from a different IP address will result in the IP address becoming auto-blocked. Auto-blocks transfer from account to IP, but not the other way around. In that case, use {{unblock-auto|Block ID|Autoblock message|Blocking admin}} from the blocked IP address instead for a faster unblock.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Have you been blocked on Wikipedia? You can be unblocked, though, and this how-to will show you how you can appeal a block.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try to edit the sandbox.\", \"描述\": \"For all you may know, your block already expired. If you still see a notice that looks like this, then proceed down.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Understand why you were blocked.\", \"描述\": \"If you were blocked, there will be a notice explaining why when you try to edit, and the administrator who blocked you will have probably left a message on your talk page explaining that you were blocked and why he/she blocked you.\\nIt's important to understand that there's a distinction between blocking and banning in Wikipedia. Banning usually occurs by community consensus or Arbitration Committee decision. If you were banned in this manner, understand that your appeal will likely not even be considered unless it's been a long period of time after your ban initially started. Typically, for an un-ban request to have any sort of chance to succeed, you must wait at least six months before submitting a request.\\nDo not forget to cheer yourself up if you are innocent. If you did nothing wrong on Wikipedia and you are blocked, you should know that it is not your fault. In fact, cheer up with something else that you like and wait for that ugly template to go away.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Read Wikipedia's policies and guidelines.\", \"描述\": \"Take your block as a chance for you to become more acquainted with Wikipedia's policies and guidelines so that you can move on from the block and become a well-respected user. Focus specifically on the policy that you were against so that you don't make the same mistake again.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Read Wikipedia's guide for appealing blocks.\", \"描述\": \"This page explains how the appeal process works and how you can make an appeal.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Go to your talk page and click on \\\"Edit.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"You will usually be able to edit your talk page even if you are blocked. If you are unable to, then see alternative ways to get unblocked.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Put the template {{unblock|reason=Insert your reason to be unblocked here}} under the message indicating your block (if there is one; otherwise, put it at the bottom of the page).\", \"描述\": \"Replace the \\\"Insert your reason to be unblocked here\\\" with the reason you want to be unblocked. A good unblock reason will:\\nShow that you understand why you were blocked and your understanding of the policy you were against. Address the reason for your block in your reasoning.\\nAdmit that you did something wrong and that it won't happen again.\\nShow that the block is not necessary to stop you from causing further problems on the site.\\nGive links as evidence.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Double check your reason.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure there are no errors and that you are saying everything that you want to say and click \\\"Preview\\\" to make sure there are no formatting errors.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Click \\\"Save Page\\\" to post your appeal.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Wait for administrators to accept your request.\", \"描述\": \"At some point, an administrator will review your request and it can take anywhere from a few minutes to a few days for a review to happen. If your appeal is accepted, you'll be unblocked and able to edit again. If it's declined, on the other hand, you'll remain blocked, and the reviewing administrator will explain why he/she declined your appeal. Should your appeal be declined, go through the steps again to make another appeal, this time taking the declining administrator's comments in mind.\\nIf you do get unblocked, then be sure not to repeat the behavior that got you blocked in the past. To prevent this, editing restrictions may be set to alert you that this is your final chance, and that any further misbehavior may result in a block for good.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Stay calm. Your attitude in your reasoning will be a factor in whether an administrator accepts or declines your appeal. Don't use all caps, as this is considering shouting, nor should you use profanity. Don't attack other editors, either, as this will lead to your appeal being declined.\\n\", \"Don't be discouraged if your appeal is declined. This means that the declining administrator didn't feel that your appeal was good enough to justify unblocking you. You can always give another appeal if you feel that your block was wrong.\\n\", \"Don't make your reasoning too long. You don't need a large wall of text. Instead, be brief and provide key information.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't expect to be unblocked just by giving an appeal. You were (most likely) blocked for a good reason, and it's not as easy as it may seem to convince administrators that your block was unnecessary.\\n\", \"Don't make sock-puppets. If you do, the sock-puppets will be blocked, and you'll probably get a longer block (probably indefinite) and you'll also be less likely to have a successful appeal.\\n\", \"Don't abuse this process. Doing that or making too many declinable requests will lead to you losing your talk page access.\\n\", \"There might be a \\\"To edit, please log in\\\" template on your talk page. This means that your shared IP address has been blocked. In that case, request an account be created at accounts.wmflabs.org. Do not request an account from a blocked IP address so you can continue disrupting Wikipedia.\\n\", \"When travelling while blocked, attempts to edit from a different IP address will result in the IP address becoming auto-blocked. Auto-blocks transfer from account to IP, but not the other way around. In that case, use {{unblock-auto|Block ID|Autoblock message|Blocking admin}} from the blocked IP address instead for a faster unblock.\\n\"]}]}}",
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} | wikihow |
1,811 | How to Appeal a Denied Workers' Compensation Claim | 1. Filing Your Appeal
1-1. Read your denial letter.
The letter will have at least 3 pieces of critical information: why you were denied, a description of the appeals process, and deadlines for bringing an appeal. You must identify these pieces of information and underline them.
Workers’ compensation claims are denied for a variety of reason. The most common are: you did not report the injury within the required time, the injury is not severe enough, or the injury was not sustained on the job.
Pay particular attention to deadlines. You often will be given only a month to bring the appeal, if not less. If you want to appeal, you should begin immediately.
1-2. Hire a lawyer.
Being denied workers compensation benefits when you are injured is a stressful experience, and bringing an appeal only adds to the stress. The appeals process is complicated, varies by state, and requires that you learn confusing rules of evidence, which could take months. Hiring an experienced workers’ compensation lawyer can streamline the process and bolster your appeal.
Bring a copy of your denial letter as well as all of your medical information to the lawyer, who will need copies of this information for your appeal. And promptly gather any other information your attorney needs. Delays will only delay the appeal process.
Private attorneys will work on a contingency basis. This means they are paid only if they win your case. Generally, the attorney will take around 20% of your benefit amount. The amount is often capped by state law.
Under a contingency arrangement, you will still have to pay for costs. Typical costs include filing fees, expert witness fees, and money spent on photocopying and mailing. Try to get an estimate of these costs.
1-3. Find the form to appeal.
This goes by various names, depending on the state. In Michigan, it is called an “Application for Hearing.” In Arizona, you must file a “Hearing Request form.” Your denial letter should tell you where to locate this form.
Federal workers are not covered by their state’s workers’ compensation systems. Instead, they are covered by the Federal Employees’ Compensation Act which has its own methods of processing and deciding workers’ compensation claims. Federal workers may appeal in three ways: by requesting a hearing, by appealing to the Appeals Board, or by applying for reconsideration.
Each federal appeal requires different things from the employee. In a hearing, you simply request that the hearing representative review the claim. He may agree to give you benefits or confirm the initial decision. When appealing to the Employee’s Compensation Appeals Board, you may not provide new evidence; rather, the Appeals Board makes a determination based on the claim’s record. With a Request of Reconsideration, you and your attorney submit either new evidence or new legal arguments.
1-4. File the form before the deadline.
You should always send by certified mail. In this way you will have a receipt for your records.
2. Preparing for Your Trial
2-1. Read the Answer.
Your employer will respond to your appeal and explain why your claim should be denied.
Your employer’s answer provides a sneak peek as to what he will argue on appeal.
2-2. Undergo a medical evaluation.
You may be required to undergo an independent medical examination (IME). Your employer or its insurance carrier may request it. The purpose is for an independent physician to identify the cause of the injury as well as the extent of the disability.
In some states, the workers’ compensation claims board can request an IME. If you have an attorney, then the IME is scheduled per agreement between the insurance company and your attorney.
Though you and your lawyer can object to the IME, an objection will often be interpreted as a concession that the injury isn't as severe as you are claiming.
You should prepare by bringing all requested medical reports and information. Answer all questions fully and truthfully.
2-3. Research prior published decisions.
Some states publish written appellate decisions. Kansas, for example, has a database. You should look to see if your state has a database of decisions.
Read up on other cases similar to yours. For example, if you were denied workers’ compensation benefits because your condition was “pre-existing,” then you could research any prior appellate decisions that discussed preexisting conditions.
A case where an appeal was granted in a factually-similar case is strong evidence in your favor that your claim is valid.
Your attorney will be skilled in researching prior decisions. Ask her for copies of any decisions so you can read them.
2-4. Gather relevant evidence.
At the trial, you will need to present evidence that supports your claim to have been injured on the job. Typically, the most effective witnesses will be medical professionals who can testify to your injuries and co-workers who may have seen the injury occur.
Your state law may or may not provide for subpoena power. If it does, then you can get a blank subpoena form from your workers’ compensation board. Serving a subpoena is a way to assure a witness’s attendance.
Fill in the form with the witness’s name and address. Then fill in where the witness is commanded to appear (i.e., where the hearing will be held) as well as the date and time of the hearing.
Mail the subpoena using certified mail. Give the witness plenty of time (at least several weeks) to rearrange her schedule in order to attend.
2-5. Prepare to testify.
You will be called to testify about the injury: how it happened and the extent of your disability. To make sure you are an effective witness, you should:
Ask your attorney to do a practice run. Have your attorney pepper you with hard questions to familiarize you with the process.
Review your summary of the event. Shortly after being injured, you should have jotted down what happened and how. Review this information to refresh your memory.
Stay cool on the stand. An attorney may try to rattle you. Answer truthfully—you have nothing to hide.
2-6. Attend a pre-trial hearing.
Generally, the first appeal is held before an administrative law judge (ALJ) or a state appeals board. Before the trial, the ALJ may call you in for a pre-trial hearing. The purpose of the hearing is to make sure the parties are prepared for trial.
If you have any questions, you should ask them at that time. For example, you should ask if the other side has turned over copies of their witness list or the medical reports they intend to use.
3. Attending the Trial
3-1. Arrive promptly.
You do not want to be late. If you are unfamiliar with where the trial is being held, then give yourself an extra hour to find parking and go through any security.
Trials are rarely held at court houses. Rather, they are usually held at the offices of the workers’ compensation board.
Dress neatly. Look professional but comfortable. You do not have to wear a suit if it makes you feel awkward.
3-2. Deliver an opening statement.
The opening statement will be less formal than in a trial before a jury. Here, the attorneys will state to the judge what issues the parties have agreed on (such as your date of employment) and what issues are in dispute (such as whether you were injured on the job).
3-3. Testify.
You undoubtedly will be called to testify by your attorney. After you swear an oath, your lawyer will ask you questions about how the injury happened. Speak loudly and toward the judge.
You should have practiced with your attorney. She cannot ask you leading questions (i.e., questions that contain the answer). But she can ask more general questions: “Where were you on the morning of…?” “Did you hurt yourself?”
You will also be cross-examined. If you read your employer’s answer, then you should have a good idea of what questions the other side will ask. For example, if your employer claims you were injured while on vacation, you should anticipate detailed questions about where you went and what you did.
3-4. Deliver a closing argument.
Your lawyer should briefly explain how the evidence presented supports your legal right to workers’ compensation benefits. He will also rebut your employer’s arguments.
3-5. Await the decision.
The ALJ or appeals board will typically draft a written decision. You will receive it by mail.
Sometimes an appeals board will review the ALJ’s written order and either adopt its finding or send it back for reconsideration.
3-6. Discuss next steps with your lawyer.
If your claim is denied at the hearing, then an appeal of the denial is possible. Discuss whether or not another appeal is worthwhile and whether your attorney will handle it.
Appeals can also handled on contingency. However, you may have to sign a new client agreement, which redefines the scope of the representation.
Tips
Don’t worry if the IME physician is abrupt or uninterested in your condition. Examinations often run only 10 minutes. Any bad medical evaluation can be challenged at the trial.
Treat everyone with respect at the trial. The judge will form a strong impression of your credibility simply from how you comport yourself.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:12",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Filing Your Appeal\\n1-1. Read your denial letter.\\nThe letter will have at least 3 pieces of critical information: why you were denied, a description of the appeals process, and deadlines for bringing an appeal. You must identify these pieces of information and underline them.\\nWorkers’ compensation claims are denied for a variety of reason. The most common are: you did not report the injury within the required time, the injury is not severe enough, or the injury was not sustained on the job.\\nPay particular attention to deadlines. You often will be given only a month to bring the appeal, if not less. If you want to appeal, you should begin immediately.\\n1-2. Hire a lawyer.\\nBeing denied workers compensation benefits when you are injured is a stressful experience, and bringing an appeal only adds to the stress. The appeals process is complicated, varies by state, and requires that you learn confusing rules of evidence, which could take months. Hiring an experienced workers’ compensation lawyer can streamline the process and bolster your appeal.\\nBring a copy of your denial letter as well as all of your medical information to the lawyer, who will need copies of this information for your appeal. And promptly gather any other information your attorney needs. Delays will only delay the appeal process.\\nPrivate attorneys will work on a contingency basis. This means they are paid only if they win your case. Generally, the attorney will take around 20% of your benefit amount. The amount is often capped by state law.\\nUnder a contingency arrangement, you will still have to pay for costs. Typical costs include filing fees, expert witness fees, and money spent on photocopying and mailing. Try to get an estimate of these costs.\\n1-3. Find the form to appeal.\\nThis goes by various names, depending on the state. In Michigan, it is called an “Application for Hearing.” In Arizona, you must file a “Hearing Request form.” Your denial letter should tell you where to locate this form.\\nFederal workers are not covered by their state’s workers’ compensation systems. Instead, they are covered by the Federal Employees’ Compensation Act which has its own methods of processing and deciding workers’ compensation claims. Federal workers may appeal in three ways: by requesting a hearing, by appealing to the Appeals Board, or by applying for reconsideration.\\nEach federal appeal requires different things from the employee. In a hearing, you simply request that the hearing representative review the claim. He may agree to give you benefits or confirm the initial decision. When appealing to the Employee’s Compensation Appeals Board, you may not provide new evidence; rather, the Appeals Board makes a determination based on the claim’s record. With a Request of Reconsideration, you and your attorney submit either new evidence or new legal arguments.\\n1-4. File the form before the deadline.\\nYou should always send by certified mail. In this way you will have a receipt for your records.\\n2. Preparing for Your Trial\\n2-1. Read the Answer.\\nYour employer will respond to your appeal and explain why your claim should be denied.\\nYour employer’s answer provides a sneak peek as to what he will argue on appeal.\\n2-2. Undergo a medical evaluation.\\nYou may be required to undergo an independent medical examination (IME). Your employer or its insurance carrier may request it. The purpose is for an independent physician to identify the cause of the injury as well as the extent of the disability.\\nIn some states, the workers’ compensation claims board can request an IME. If you have an attorney, then the IME is scheduled per agreement between the insurance company and your attorney.\\nThough you and your lawyer can object to the IME, an objection will often be interpreted as a concession that the injury isn't as severe as you are claiming.\\nYou should prepare by bringing all requested medical reports and information. Answer all questions fully and truthfully.\\n2-3. Research prior published decisions.\\nSome states publish written appellate decisions. Kansas, for example, has a database. You should look to see if your state has a database of decisions.\\nRead up on other cases similar to yours. For example, if you were denied workers’ compensation benefits because your condition was “pre-existing,” then you could research any prior appellate decisions that discussed preexisting conditions.\\nA case where an appeal was granted in a factually-similar case is strong evidence in your favor that your claim is valid.\\nYour attorney will be skilled in researching prior decisions. Ask her for copies of any decisions so you can read them.\\n2-4. Gather relevant evidence.\\nAt the trial, you will need to present evidence that supports your claim to have been injured on the job. Typically, the most effective witnesses will be medical professionals who can testify to your injuries and co-workers who may have seen the injury occur.\\nYour state law may or may not provide for subpoena power. If it does, then you can get a blank subpoena form from your workers’ compensation board. Serving a subpoena is a way to assure a witness’s attendance.\\nFill in the form with the witness’s name and address. Then fill in where the witness is commanded to appear (i.e., where the hearing will be held) as well as the date and time of the hearing.\\nMail the subpoena using certified mail. Give the witness plenty of time (at least several weeks) to rearrange her schedule in order to attend.\\n2-5. Prepare to testify.\\nYou will be called to testify about the injury: how it happened and the extent of your disability. To make sure you are an effective witness, you should: \\nAsk your attorney to do a practice run. Have your attorney pepper you with hard questions to familiarize you with the process.\\nReview your summary of the event. Shortly after being injured, you should have jotted down what happened and how. Review this information to refresh your memory.\\nStay cool on the stand. An attorney may try to rattle you. Answer truthfully—you have nothing to hide.\\n2-6. Attend a pre-trial hearing.\\nGenerally, the first appeal is held before an administrative law judge (ALJ) or a state appeals board. Before the trial, the ALJ may call you in for a pre-trial hearing. The purpose of the hearing is to make sure the parties are prepared for trial.\\nIf you have any questions, you should ask them at that time. For example, you should ask if the other side has turned over copies of their witness list or the medical reports they intend to use.\\n3. Attending the Trial\\n3-1. Arrive promptly.\\nYou do not want to be late. If you are unfamiliar with where the trial is being held, then give yourself an extra hour to find parking and go through any security.\\nTrials are rarely held at court houses. Rather, they are usually held at the offices of the workers’ compensation board.\\nDress neatly. Look professional but comfortable. You do not have to wear a suit if it makes you feel awkward.\\n3-2. Deliver an opening statement.\\nThe opening statement will be less formal than in a trial before a jury. Here, the attorneys will state to the judge what issues the parties have agreed on (such as your date of employment) and what issues are in dispute (such as whether you were injured on the job).\\n3-3. Testify.\\nYou undoubtedly will be called to testify by your attorney. After you swear an oath, your lawyer will ask you questions about how the injury happened. Speak loudly and toward the judge.\\nYou should have practiced with your attorney. She cannot ask you leading questions (i.e., questions that contain the answer). But she can ask more general questions: “Where were you on the morning of…?” “Did you hurt yourself?”\\nYou will also be cross-examined. If you read your employer’s answer, then you should have a good idea of what questions the other side will ask. For example, if your employer claims you were injured while on vacation, you should anticipate detailed questions about where you went and what you did.\\n3-4. Deliver a closing argument.\\nYour lawyer should briefly explain how the evidence presented supports your legal right to workers’ compensation benefits. He will also rebut your employer’s arguments.\\n3-5. Await the decision.\\nThe ALJ or appeals board will typically draft a written decision. You will receive it by mail.\\nSometimes an appeals board will review the ALJ’s written order and either adopt its finding or send it back for reconsideration.\\n3-6. Discuss next steps with your lawyer.\\nIf your claim is denied at the hearing, then an appeal of the denial is possible. Discuss whether or not another appeal is worthwhile and whether your attorney will handle it. \\nAppeals can also handled on contingency. However, you may have to sign a new client agreement, which redefines the scope of the representation.\\nTips\\nDon’t worry if the IME physician is abrupt or uninterested in your condition. Examinations often run only 10 minutes. Any bad medical evaluation can be challenged at the trial.\\nTreat everyone with respect at the trial. The judge will form a strong impression of your credibility simply from how you comport yourself.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Many legitimate claims for workers' compensation are unfairly denied. Not only do you face the stress of mounting bills with no means to pay them, but you also face a complicated appeals process. Fortunately, the appeals process is manageable so long as you pay attention to deadlines, prepare for the trial, and seek affordable legal help.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Filing Your Appeal\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Read your denial letter.\", \"描述\": \"The letter will have at least 3 pieces of critical information: why you were denied, a description of the appeals process, and deadlines for bringing an appeal. You must identify these pieces of information and underline them.\\nWorkers’ compensation claims are denied for a variety of reason. The most common are: you did not report the injury within the required time, the injury is not severe enough, or the injury was not sustained on the job.\\nPay particular attention to deadlines. You often will be given only a month to bring the appeal, if not less. If you want to appeal, you should begin immediately.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Hire a lawyer.\", \"描述\": \"Being denied workers compensation benefits when you are injured is a stressful experience, and bringing an appeal only adds to the stress. The appeals process is complicated, varies by state, and requires that you learn confusing rules of evidence, which could take months. Hiring an experienced workers’ compensation lawyer can streamline the process and bolster your appeal.\\nBring a copy of your denial letter as well as all of your medical information to the lawyer, who will need copies of this information for your appeal. And promptly gather any other information your attorney needs. Delays will only delay the appeal process.\\nPrivate attorneys will work on a contingency basis. This means they are paid only if they win your case. Generally, the attorney will take around 20% of your benefit amount. The amount is often capped by state law.\\nUnder a contingency arrangement, you will still have to pay for costs. Typical costs include filing fees, expert witness fees, and money spent on photocopying and mailing. Try to get an estimate of these costs.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find the form to appeal.\", \"描述\": \"This goes by various names, depending on the state. In Michigan, it is called an “Application for Hearing.” In Arizona, you must file a “Hearing Request form.” Your denial letter should tell you where to locate this form.\\nFederal workers are not covered by their state’s workers’ compensation systems. Instead, they are covered by the Federal Employees’ Compensation Act which has its own methods of processing and deciding workers’ compensation claims. Federal workers may appeal in three ways: by requesting a hearing, by appealing to the Appeals Board, or by applying for reconsideration.\\nEach federal appeal requires different things from the employee. In a hearing, you simply request that the hearing representative review the claim. He may agree to give you benefits or confirm the initial decision. When appealing to the Employee’s Compensation Appeals Board, you may not provide new evidence; rather, the Appeals Board makes a determination based on the claim’s record. With a Request of Reconsideration, you and your attorney submit either new evidence or new legal arguments.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"File the form before the deadline.\", \"描述\": \"You should always send by certified mail. In this way you will have a receipt for your records.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Preparing for Your Trial\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Read the Answer.\", \"描述\": \"Your employer will respond to your appeal and explain why your claim should be denied.\\nYour employer’s answer provides a sneak peek as to what he will argue on appeal.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Undergo a medical evaluation.\", \"描述\": \"You may be required to undergo an independent medical examination (IME). Your employer or its insurance carrier may request it. The purpose is for an independent physician to identify the cause of the injury as well as the extent of the disability.\\nIn some states, the workers’ compensation claims board can request an IME. If you have an attorney, then the IME is scheduled per agreement between the insurance company and your attorney.\\nThough you and your lawyer can object to the IME, an objection will often be interpreted as a concession that the injury isn't as severe as you are claiming.\\nYou should prepare by bringing all requested medical reports and information. Answer all questions fully and truthfully.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Research prior published decisions.\", \"描述\": \"Some states publish written appellate decisions. Kansas, for example, has a database. You should look to see if your state has a database of decisions.\\nRead up on other cases similar to yours. For example, if you were denied workers’ compensation benefits because your condition was “pre-existing,” then you could research any prior appellate decisions that discussed preexisting conditions.\\nA case where an appeal was granted in a factually-similar case is strong evidence in your favor that your claim is valid.\\nYour attorney will be skilled in researching prior decisions. Ask her for copies of any decisions so you can read them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Gather relevant evidence.\", \"描述\": \"At the trial, you will need to present evidence that supports your claim to have been injured on the job. Typically, the most effective witnesses will be medical professionals who can testify to your injuries and co-workers who may have seen the injury occur.\\nYour state law may or may not provide for subpoena power. If it does, then you can get a blank subpoena form from your workers’ compensation board. Serving a subpoena is a way to assure a witness’s attendance.\\nFill in the form with the witness’s name and address. Then fill in where the witness is commanded to appear (i.e., where the hearing will be held) as well as the date and time of the hearing.\\nMail the subpoena using certified mail. Give the witness plenty of time (at least several weeks) to rearrange her schedule in order to attend.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Prepare to testify.\", \"描述\": \"You will be called to testify about the injury: how it happened and the extent of your disability. To make sure you are an effective witness, you should: \\nAsk your attorney to do a practice run. Have your attorney pepper you with hard questions to familiarize you with the process.\\nReview your summary of the event. Shortly after being injured, you should have jotted down what happened and how. Review this information to refresh your memory.\\nStay cool on the stand. An attorney may try to rattle you. Answer truthfully—you have nothing to hide.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Attend a pre-trial hearing.\", \"描述\": \"Generally, the first appeal is held before an administrative law judge (ALJ) or a state appeals board. Before the trial, the ALJ may call you in for a pre-trial hearing. The purpose of the hearing is to make sure the parties are prepared for trial.\\nIf you have any questions, you should ask them at that time. For example, you should ask if the other side has turned over copies of their witness list or the medical reports they intend to use.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Attending the Trial\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Arrive promptly.\", \"描述\": \"You do not want to be late. If you are unfamiliar with where the trial is being held, then give yourself an extra hour to find parking and go through any security.\\nTrials are rarely held at court houses. Rather, they are usually held at the offices of the workers’ compensation board.\\nDress neatly. Look professional but comfortable. You do not have to wear a suit if it makes you feel awkward.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Deliver an opening statement.\", \"描述\": \"The opening statement will be less formal than in a trial before a jury. Here, the attorneys will state to the judge what issues the parties have agreed on (such as your date of employment) and what issues are in dispute (such as whether you were injured on the job).\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Testify.\", \"描述\": \"You undoubtedly will be called to testify by your attorney. After you swear an oath, your lawyer will ask you questions about how the injury happened. Speak loudly and toward the judge.\\nYou should have practiced with your attorney. She cannot ask you leading questions (i.e., questions that contain the answer). But she can ask more general questions: “Where were you on the morning of…?” “Did you hurt yourself?”\\nYou will also be cross-examined. If you read your employer’s answer, then you should have a good idea of what questions the other side will ask. For example, if your employer claims you were injured while on vacation, you should anticipate detailed questions about where you went and what you did.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Deliver a closing argument.\", \"描述\": \"Your lawyer should briefly explain how the evidence presented supports your legal right to workers’ compensation benefits. He will also rebut your employer’s arguments.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Await the decision.\", \"描述\": \"The ALJ or appeals board will typically draft a written decision. You will receive it by mail.\\nSometimes an appeals board will review the ALJ’s written order and either adopt its finding or send it back for reconsideration.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Discuss next steps with your lawyer.\", \"描述\": \"If your claim is denied at the hearing, then an appeal of the denial is possible. Discuss whether or not another appeal is worthwhile and whether your attorney will handle it. \\nAppeals can also handled on contingency. However, you may have to sign a new client agreement, which redefines the scope of the representation.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don’t worry if the IME physician is abrupt or uninterested in your condition. Examinations often run only 10 minutes. Any bad medical evaluation can be challenged at the trial.\\n\", \"Treat everyone with respect at the trial. The judge will form a strong impression of your credibility simply from how you comport yourself.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
1,812 | How to Appeal a Discord Ban | 1. Appealing a Server Ban
1-1. Know the difference between a ban, kick, and a mute (sometimes referred to as a timeout).
These three moderation actions are similar, yet different in the scope of which they apply.
A ban prevents the user from joining the Discord server. Any attempt to join a banned guild will automatically fail with the errors "unable to accept invite" and "the user is banned from this guild". Bans are by default indefinite and will last until a moderator or Discord bot revokes the ban.
A kick removes the user from the Discord server, while allowing them to rejoin at some point in the future. A kick is often used by big Discord servers to indicate "final warnings" - that is, the user receiving the kick is to cease their current behavior and continuing to do so will result in a permanent ban. Kicks can also be done by bots and in masses, either to remove inactive server members (known as a prune), or to remove users that have inappropriate usernames.
A mute temporarily restricts a user's ability to talk in voice channels or chat with messages. Muted users cannot add reactions to messages, create new messages, create threads, talk or connect to VC, or edit their existing messages. Mutes are often temporary, however an indefinite or longer mute can be done by creating a dedicated "mute" role and by replacing all the roles the user currently has with the mute role.
Other servers may have additional roles that revoke specific permissions. For example, they may have a role that revokes image perms, revokes external emote perms, or revokes reaction perms.
1-2. Check your DMs for information on why you were banned or muted.
Unless if you disabled DMs from the banned guild or you did something truly outrageous that the owner or moderator banned you without specifying a reason, your DMs will contain all details about your ban. It may contain one or more of the following:
The date the ban or mute started
The reason for the ban or mute
The expiry of the ban or mute, if the ban was done by a bot that supports time-limited bans
Information on appealing the infraction, if it is appealable
1-3. Understand why you were banned or muted.
Common reasons for a user to be banned include trolling, raids, posting extreme NSFW, spamming messages, harassing other users either in chat or via DMs, posting copyright violations or leaks, posting content that some may find disturbing, promoting other unrelated Discord servers or websites, or disregarding the rules to prove a point. Other reasons for a user to be banned include being under Discord's minimum age for COPPA (13), using a modified Discord client like BetterDiscord, or otherwise violating Discord's terms of service.
1-4. Check for information on how to appeal the ban.
Appeal instructions are often provided via DMs. Commonly, they are done either via a form online, via email, via direct messaging a bot, or by contacting a moderator for the server in question, either on Discord or off site. Other times, a ban cannot be appealed, either because of the lack of moderators able to hear appeals, or because moderators do not listen to appeals.
Check a website associated with the server to see if they provided ban appeal instructions. If there is no way to appeal the ban, then consider joining one of several other Discord servers that exist on a particular topic.
1-5. List the rules in question violated.
If you are unsure, you can always ask for help from a moderator from the server. A guild moderator may be more forgiving if you recognize your mistakes and demonstrate good faith. However, negligence does not exempt a user from the rules.
1-6. State how your behavior violated the rules.
A server moderator needs to understand how your behavior caused problems in the guild in question, and how it went against the letter and spirit of the rules. Bans from big guilds are not done without careful consideration or thought, and bans that may seem arbitrary often have a lot of discussion beforehand.
1-7. Discuss how you plan to correct your behavior and why you believe the ban should be lifted.
You may not need to be professional, but you do need to explain why the ban should be lifted. If moderators are not convinced that the ban should be lifted, then they will refuse to reverse their decision.
1-8. Send your appeal.
Fill out the form or email, or direct message a guild moderator. You may need to add them as a friend, or you may need to get another user also a friend to relay the appeal to a modmail bot. Once your appeal is sent, you can expect to wait several days to weeks to hear back about a decision. If you do not hear anything back, you can try contacting a community moderator again.
Harassment in appeals may result in the moderator blocking you or your email address, or disallowing appeals for your account. Also note creating second accounts to get around guild bans is a violation of Discord terms of service.
1-9. Move on to a different community.
Discord has thousands of communities on a single topic. You can easily find a different community that might be more tolerating of your behavior. Unless if you are a jerk online, other Discord members won't care too much as to why you were banned from other servers.
2. Appealing an Account Ban
2-1. See your email for the reason your Discord account was disabled.
A terminated Discord account is unable to log in and thus join any Discord server, send messages, view DMs, talk in voice chat, or otherwise interact with the Discord service. Banned users will receive an email, text, or a system message explaining that their account has been banned with information as to why they were banned.
2-2. Review Discord's Terms of Service and Community Guidelines to see what behavior is accepted on Discord.
Usage of modified clients like BetterDiscord, utilizing the service to spread viruses or malware, posting NSFW content outside of channels designated as R-18, and phishing are a few ways to get banned from Discord. Depending on the severity of the offense the ban can be temporary or permanent.
2-3. Contact Discord Trust and Safety for help.
They process appeals that apply Discord-wide. Select "Appeals, age updates or other questions" > "Appeal an action taken on my account or bot" > "An action taken on my account" to get started.
If your account was banned for copyright violations, you may be able to get your account unbanned by submitting a DMCA counter-notice via that form. Note, however, that a counternotice can open you up to a copyright lawsuit, in which case it may be best to contact a copyright attorney for assistance.
If your account was banned for being too young, you must submit proof of being over 13 by selecting "Update my age information" on the form and attaching an image showing you and your face holding a valid government ID with your birthday on it.
2-4. Await a response back.
If you successfully appeal your ban, your account will be reinstated. Some bans automatically expire after a set time frame, while others will last indefinitely. If you are allowed back on Discord, be aware that further violations may negatively affect your ability to use Discord.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:46:12",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Appealing a Server Ban\\n1-1. Know the difference between a ban, kick, and a mute (sometimes referred to as a timeout).\\nThese three moderation actions are similar, yet different in the scope of which they apply.\\nA ban prevents the user from joining the Discord server. Any attempt to join a banned guild will automatically fail with the errors \\\"unable to accept invite\\\" and \\\"the user is banned from this guild\\\". Bans are by default indefinite and will last until a moderator or Discord bot revokes the ban.\\nA kick removes the user from the Discord server, while allowing them to rejoin at some point in the future. A kick is often used by big Discord servers to indicate \\\"final warnings\\\" - that is, the user receiving the kick is to cease their current behavior and continuing to do so will result in a permanent ban. Kicks can also be done by bots and in masses, either to remove inactive server members (known as a prune), or to remove users that have inappropriate usernames.\\nA mute temporarily restricts a user's ability to talk in voice channels or chat with messages. Muted users cannot add reactions to messages, create new messages, create threads, talk or connect to VC, or edit their existing messages. Mutes are often temporary, however an indefinite or longer mute can be done by creating a dedicated \\\"mute\\\" role and by replacing all the roles the user currently has with the mute role.\\nOther servers may have additional roles that revoke specific permissions. For example, they may have a role that revokes image perms, revokes external emote perms, or revokes reaction perms.\\n1-2. Check your DMs for information on why you were banned or muted.\\nUnless if you disabled DMs from the banned guild or you did something truly outrageous that the owner or moderator banned you without specifying a reason, your DMs will contain all details about your ban. It may contain one or more of the following:\\nThe date the ban or mute started\\nThe reason for the ban or mute\\nThe expiry of the ban or mute, if the ban was done by a bot that supports time-limited bans\\nInformation on appealing the infraction, if it is appealable\\n1-3. Understand why you were banned or muted.\\nCommon reasons for a user to be banned include trolling, raids, posting extreme NSFW, spamming messages, harassing other users either in chat or via DMs, posting copyright violations or leaks, posting content that some may find disturbing, promoting other unrelated Discord servers or websites, or disregarding the rules to prove a point. Other reasons for a user to be banned include being under Discord's minimum age for COPPA (13), using a modified Discord client like BetterDiscord, or otherwise violating Discord's terms of service.\\n1-4. Check for information on how to appeal the ban.\\nAppeal instructions are often provided via DMs. Commonly, they are done either via a form online, via email, via direct messaging a bot, or by contacting a moderator for the server in question, either on Discord or off site. Other times, a ban cannot be appealed, either because of the lack of moderators able to hear appeals, or because moderators do not listen to appeals.\\nCheck a website associated with the server to see if they provided ban appeal instructions. If there is no way to appeal the ban, then consider joining one of several other Discord servers that exist on a particular topic.\\n1-5. List the rules in question violated.\\nIf you are unsure, you can always ask for help from a moderator from the server. A guild moderator may be more forgiving if you recognize your mistakes and demonstrate good faith. However, negligence does not exempt a user from the rules.\\n1-6. State how your behavior violated the rules.\\nA server moderator needs to understand how your behavior caused problems in the guild in question, and how it went against the letter and spirit of the rules. Bans from big guilds are not done without careful consideration or thought, and bans that may seem arbitrary often have a lot of discussion beforehand.\\n1-7. Discuss how you plan to correct your behavior and why you believe the ban should be lifted.\\nYou may not need to be professional, but you do need to explain why the ban should be lifted. If moderators are not convinced that the ban should be lifted, then they will refuse to reverse their decision.\\n1-8. Send your appeal.\\nFill out the form or email, or direct message a guild moderator. You may need to add them as a friend, or you may need to get another user also a friend to relay the appeal to a modmail bot. Once your appeal is sent, you can expect to wait several days to weeks to hear back about a decision. If you do not hear anything back, you can try contacting a community moderator again.\\nHarassment in appeals may result in the moderator blocking you or your email address, or disallowing appeals for your account. Also note creating second accounts to get around guild bans is a violation of Discord terms of service.\\n1-9. Move on to a different community.\\nDiscord has thousands of communities on a single topic. You can easily find a different community that might be more tolerating of your behavior. Unless if you are a jerk online, other Discord members won't care too much as to why you were banned from other servers.\\n2. Appealing an Account Ban\\n2-1. See your email for the reason your Discord account was disabled.\\nA terminated Discord account is unable to log in and thus join any Discord server, send messages, view DMs, talk in voice chat, or otherwise interact with the Discord service. Banned users will receive an email, text, or a system message explaining that their account has been banned with information as to why they were banned.\\n2-2. Review Discord's Terms of Service and Community Guidelines to see what behavior is accepted on Discord.\\nUsage of modified clients like BetterDiscord, utilizing the service to spread viruses or malware, posting NSFW content outside of channels designated as R-18, and phishing are a few ways to get banned from Discord. Depending on the severity of the offense the ban can be temporary or permanent.\\n2-3. Contact Discord Trust and Safety for help.\\nThey process appeals that apply Discord-wide. Select \\\"Appeals, age updates or other questions\\\" > \\\"Appeal an action taken on my account or bot\\\" > \\\"An action taken on my account\\\" to get started.\\nIf your account was banned for copyright violations, you may be able to get your account unbanned by submitting a DMCA counter-notice via that form. Note, however, that a counternotice can open you up to a copyright lawsuit, in which case it may be best to contact a copyright attorney for assistance.\\nIf your account was banned for being too young, you must submit proof of being over 13 by selecting \\\"Update my age information\\\" on the form and attaching an image showing you and your face holding a valid government ID with your birthday on it.\\n2-4. Await a response back.\\nIf you successfully appeal your ban, your account will be reinstated. Some bans automatically expire after a set time frame, while others will last indefinitely. If you are allowed back on Discord, be aware that further violations may negatively affect your ability to use Discord.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"On Discord, servers or guilds have the ability to ban users, usually for breaking their rules. A ban prevents a Discord user from joining a guild, and thus DM'ing its members, sending messages, or viewing the contents of the server. Guild bans of popular servers are issued when the moderators believe that you may be causing trouble to other users. On the other hand, Discord can delete guilds and ban its members from the platform if it believes that the guild is being used for violation of Discord community guidelines or terms of service. This wikiHow will show you how to appeal both kinds of Discord bans.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Appealing a Server Ban\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know the difference between a ban, kick, and a mute (sometimes referred to as a timeout).\", \"描述\": \"These three moderation actions are similar, yet different in the scope of which they apply.\\nA ban prevents the user from joining the Discord server. Any attempt to join a banned guild will automatically fail with the errors \\\"unable to accept invite\\\" and \\\"the user is banned from this guild\\\". Bans are by default indefinite and will last until a moderator or Discord bot revokes the ban.\\nA kick removes the user from the Discord server, while allowing them to rejoin at some point in the future. A kick is often used by big Discord servers to indicate \\\"final warnings\\\" - that is, the user receiving the kick is to cease their current behavior and continuing to do so will result in a permanent ban. Kicks can also be done by bots and in masses, either to remove inactive server members (known as a prune), or to remove users that have inappropriate usernames.\\nA mute temporarily restricts a user's ability to talk in voice channels or chat with messages. Muted users cannot add reactions to messages, create new messages, create threads, talk or connect to VC, or edit their existing messages. Mutes are often temporary, however an indefinite or longer mute can be done by creating a dedicated \\\"mute\\\" role and by replacing all the roles the user currently has with the mute role.\\nOther servers may have additional roles that revoke specific permissions. For example, they may have a role that revokes image perms, revokes external emote perms, or revokes reaction perms.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Check your DMs for information on why you were banned or muted.\", \"描述\": \"Unless if you disabled DMs from the banned guild or you did something truly outrageous that the owner or moderator banned you without specifying a reason, your DMs will contain all details about your ban. It may contain one or more of the following:\\nThe date the ban or mute started\\nThe reason for the ban or mute\\nThe expiry of the ban or mute, if the ban was done by a bot that supports time-limited bans\\nInformation on appealing the infraction, if it is appealable\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Understand why you were banned or muted.\", \"描述\": \"Common reasons for a user to be banned include trolling, raids, posting extreme NSFW, spamming messages, harassing other users either in chat or via DMs, posting copyright violations or leaks, posting content that some may find disturbing, promoting other unrelated Discord servers or websites, or disregarding the rules to prove a point. Other reasons for a user to be banned include being under Discord's minimum age for COPPA (13), using a modified Discord client like BetterDiscord, or otherwise violating Discord's terms of service.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Check for information on how to appeal the ban.\", \"描述\": \"Appeal instructions are often provided via DMs. Commonly, they are done either via a form online, via email, via direct messaging a bot, or by contacting a moderator for the server in question, either on Discord or off site. Other times, a ban cannot be appealed, either because of the lack of moderators able to hear appeals, or because moderators do not listen to appeals.\\nCheck a website associated with the server to see if they provided ban appeal instructions. If there is no way to appeal the ban, then consider joining one of several other Discord servers that exist on a particular topic.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"List the rules in question violated.\", \"描述\": \"If you are unsure, you can always ask for help from a moderator from the server. A guild moderator may be more forgiving if you recognize your mistakes and demonstrate good faith. However, negligence does not exempt a user from the rules.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"State how your behavior violated the rules.\", \"描述\": \"A server moderator needs to understand how your behavior caused problems in the guild in question, and how it went against the letter and spirit of the rules. Bans from big guilds are not done without careful consideration or thought, and bans that may seem arbitrary often have a lot of discussion beforehand.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Discuss how you plan to correct your behavior and why you believe the ban should be lifted.\", \"描述\": \"You may not need to be professional, but you do need to explain why the ban should be lifted. If moderators are not convinced that the ban should be lifted, then they will refuse to reverse their decision.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Send your appeal.\", \"描述\": \"Fill out the form or email, or direct message a guild moderator. You may need to add them as a friend, or you may need to get another user also a friend to relay the appeal to a modmail bot. Once your appeal is sent, you can expect to wait several days to weeks to hear back about a decision. If you do not hear anything back, you can try contacting a community moderator again.\\nHarassment in appeals may result in the moderator blocking you or your email address, or disallowing appeals for your account. Also note creating second accounts to get around guild bans is a violation of Discord terms of service.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Move on to a different community.\", \"描述\": \"Discord has thousands of communities on a single topic. You can easily find a different community that might be more tolerating of your behavior. Unless if you are a jerk online, other Discord members won't care too much as to why you were banned from other servers.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Appealing an Account Ban\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"See your email for the reason your Discord account was disabled.\", \"描述\": \"A terminated Discord account is unable to log in and thus join any Discord server, send messages, view DMs, talk in voice chat, or otherwise interact with the Discord service. Banned users will receive an email, text, or a system message explaining that their account has been banned with information as to why they were banned.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Review Discord's Terms of Service and Community Guidelines to see what behavior is accepted on Discord.\", \"描述\": \"Usage of modified clients like BetterDiscord, utilizing the service to spread viruses or malware, posting NSFW content outside of channels designated as R-18, and phishing are a few ways to get banned from Discord. Depending on the severity of the offense the ban can be temporary or permanent.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Contact Discord Trust and Safety for help.\", \"描述\": \"They process appeals that apply Discord-wide. Select \\\"Appeals, age updates or other questions\\\" > \\\"Appeal an action taken on my account or bot\\\" > \\\"An action taken on my account\\\" to get started.\\nIf your account was banned for copyright violations, you may be able to get your account unbanned by submitting a DMCA counter-notice via that form. Note, however, that a counternotice can open you up to a copyright lawsuit, in which case it may be best to contact a copyright attorney for assistance.\\nIf your account was banned for being too young, you must submit proof of being over 13 by selecting \\\"Update my age information\\\" on the form and attaching an image showing you and your face holding a valid government ID with your birthday on it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Await a response back.\", \"描述\": \"If you successfully appeal your ban, your account will be reinstated. Some bans automatically expire after a set time frame, while others will last indefinitely. If you are allowed back on Discord, be aware that further violations may negatively affect your ability to use Discord.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
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