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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] with my ex-GF [17 F], were in a 1+ year relationship - broke up around 2 months ago, have to see her every day at school with another guy and I can't move on
POST: Me and my ex broke up 2 months ago after mutually agreeing that our relationship probably wouldn't last after we both go off to college ( we both have entirely different prospects for our futures and are planning on going to different universities) as we knew a LDR wouldn't work between us. Even though we broke up I was (and am, I guess) very much in love with her and it hurt really badly to have to agree to end the relationship.
So here I am now, having not moved on at all and thinking about her and our relationship constantly, how it didn't have to end (even though I know deep down it had to). And I guess she's moved on because 3 weeks after the breakup she got with her best guy friend.
We all go to the same school, so, every day no matter if I'm at the common room, work room or library I end up seeing them together doing all the cute stuff we used to do together and it really hurts me down to my very soul.
Recently we were off school for two weeks and after not seeing her or her boyfriend for a while, by the end of the two weeks I felt much better and I was convinced I'd finally managed to move on.
However the first day back I had to see her and him together again and all that development I'd done over the break just shattered. I ended up going outside and sitting somewhere on my own for the rest of the day (they walked past me, it's like a ghost haunting me).
I'm sure other people have gone through similar situations. But this was my first real relationship and I have no idea whatsoever on how I'm supposed to deal with this. I can't understand how she was able to move on but I can't, I feel just as bad as I did the first day of the breakup now. I have no idea what to do and it feels like I'll be like this forever. Do I just need more time? I have exams coming up and I'm worried my emotions will affect my studying, and I would hate myself if i let that happen.
TL;DR: | Me and my ex-gf broke up 2 months ago, 3 weeks later she got with a guy, I see them together every day and I feel immense overwhelming sadness every single day and it's ruining me |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I [26m] tell the girl I'm seeing that I'm moving across the country in two months?
POST: I've been best friends with this girl since high school. I recently moved back home and she has been hinting that she's into me (we flirt a lot touch, cuddle, makes remarks about us being together in the future etc.) but I'm reluctant to take it any further.
Additionally, she dated my best friend, Andy, in college while I was out west. I love my friend to death but I know he is a negging asshole and I'm ashamed that she fell for him since I know how he is with women. (they eventually broke up because he cheated on her numerous times)
I have an amazing opportunity to go out west in a couple months and haven't told anyone. I dunno why I don't want to tell anyone but if I tell her (we live in a very small town) everyone will know. I also don't want to lead her on knowing that I'll be gone.
So not only do I have the negging asshole ex bf in the back of my mind I know I am going to move in a couple months. Should I try to pursue her and make moves or be real and tell her I am moving soon and only stay friends? We definitely have a lot of chemistry and I've always had a thing for her but I can't shake the fact that she dated Andy and that I'm about to move.
Anyone else have issues with your SOs past bfs/gfs and gotten over it?
TL;DR: | Falling in love with my best friend but there's bagge from her previous relationship and I will be moving across the country in a couple months. Not sure whether to tell her and just stay friends or pursue her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 F] have a crush with a guy [19 M] for the last 8 months and he liked my picture on facebook!
POST: I might be over analyzing everything, there's a guy in my school who I like a lot. Just in the moment I propose myself to forget about him, he appears somehow.
He and I are friends on facebook. Today I posted this picture where I am with a friend, I think she is prettier than me. We both smiled in a very natural way. I might not look very good in pictures, but in that picture my expression it is very soft and happy. I look cute, I think haha.
Few people liked the picture and he was one of them. I don't understand he knows about my feelings and he don't care and well I understand that this has to be an unrequited love.
In school he always avoids me, but then he come and like my picture.
It might be he don't dislike me that much?? I know a like it's nothing, but he perfectly knows how I feel! How much I like him. This is the third like I had got from him. This confuses me!
I have asked him for forgiveness, for having these strong feelings! And I have promised him to not bother him in any way, also.
Thanks a lot, and God bless.
TL;DR: | Guy a like from school, knows that I like him, and he avoids me and Ignore me, but he liked a picture of my facebook, where I am with a friend, and where I am smiling very naturally. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am I an asshole for wanting to dump someone because they can't get it up?
POST: I'm a 22 year old female and I've been seeing this 26 year old guy for two months now. He has been an exceptionally sweet guy, except for a few things but no one is perfect! But, every time we have tried to get it on, he can't get it up, at all. I know this is a sensitive issue for guys and I don't want to question his "manhood' or anything, but this last time he put the responsibility of getting it up on me. He kept telling me things I needed to do to get him hard. I was willing to work with him and did some things I have never done before just to help him! But at what point is it okay for me to say this sucks? I feel like I'm a little young to be dealing with this issue and I feel like there is almost no discussion out there about this issue to help me.. Am I an asshole for wanting to cut off our new relationship to avoid this inevitable issue? I've always been very fond of sex. I don't mind not having it for a while, but the things he wants me to do in the bedroom to get him hard are just not my style, and I can't go forever without some loving.
I just can't decide if I'm a total asshole for cutting things off just because bedroom issues.
TL;DR: | boy and girl just started dating. Boy can't get it up. Is it okay to end things just because of that? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Dr. told me I'm killing myself but I don't see it as motivation to change.
POST: I briefly posted about this on r/depression.
Long story short, I've got some hereditary issues that just came to light and the doctor told me that I need to start taking them seriously. I've got to commit to a strict diet and exercise regimen. Not adhering *greatly* increases the chance that I'll see an early grave due.
I've always struggled with severe depression and have been medicated for about 10 years. That being said, I fight the disease and its intrusive thoughts daily. Hearing that I can expect my life to be shorter just doesn't really seem...that bad I guess... I don't know. I'm mad at myself for not wanting to change to stay alive.
My husband is really pissed that I'm making no progress. The thing esthete I want to be alive for him and my future kids and the family that's counting on me. I'm just not really interested in staying alive for myself.
It sucks. I have a wonderful life. The depression makes it feel like I don't appreciate it enough. I can barely get out of bed on most days and the threat that I won't have to fight that anymore just doesn't really seem like a threat at all.
Thanks for listening.
TL;DR: | Dr. said to shape up or I'd see an early grave but depression is keeping me from seeing that as a bad thing. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What are women's REAL take on sexuality?
POST: I think it's odd how men and women look at sex so differently. Most men are pretty open about it, while most women are not. Another way men and women are different is our approach to how we deal with our own emotions. Women are taught to be vocal about how they feel, while men are taught to repress it, because we're subconsciously trying to preserve out masculinity and consequently give ourselves an illusion of invulnerability. So my question is: Do women repress their sexuality to subconsciously preserve their femininity and consequently make it seem like they have the shit-end of the stick when it come to interacting with the opposite sex? (I know, sounds dirty given the context)
The reason I ask this is because I've noticed that the stereotype of emotionless men, despite a small kernel of truth to it, is ultimately false. Maybe the same thing applies to the stereotype of prudish women?
TL;DR: | I think prudish women are more a result of cultural habits, not biological. Just like insensitive men. Am I right or am I wrong? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I [19]M am getting majorly mixed messages from [20]F, need advice
POST: I met this girl around a month ago, which was about a week after she had broken up with her boyfriend of 10 months (she was the dumper).
Most of the time when we are together she gives strong signals that she is interested in me, and she is always keen to hang out on a regular basis. However she has made it quite clear to me a few times that she is not interested in guys at the moment.
Normally with something like that I would just move along,
But she is something special, so is there any advice on how to get her to go along with how she seems to feel and stop holding back?
Or is perhaps patience the best option?
TL;DR: | Girl gives me signals shes interested constantly, says she isn't after that at the moment. How can I convince her to go with how I think she feels or is patience the way to go? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How do I (24/f) talk to my very reluctant SO (23/m) about money?
POST: My boyfriend and I very recently started living together. We've been together for 2.5 years. I just found out he's been hiding a $3K loan from me (on top of the $5K loan I already had to push him to pay off). He has a good paying job (I'm currently unemployed, as I just finished school and moved to a new city).
Money really freaks him out. He loves to see how much he's made, but also spends frivolously. I can also spend my money (when I was making it), but I always knew I could pay for what I was buying and am very aware of my finances. He doesn't even look at his bank statements or at past-due bills - some of which have already been sent to collections.
How can I approach financial issues in a way that wont sound like I'm hounding him? I recognize that I too have been in the wrong and I want us to work together to be financially stable.
Side note: I've also made an appointment at my bank for next week to sit down with someone to discuss finances in general, so that I have the knowledge to bring forward to the relationship.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend refuses to talk about our finances. I think it's very important. How do I approach him about it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [31M] brother-in-law [23M] wants to fuck my wife [29F].
POST: *Sorry, I'm not sure if this is a good place to post this.*
I am 31M, my wife is 29F, my brother-in-law is 23M.
I came home tonight from work to find my wife awake and needing to talk to me (she's usually asleep, I work night shifts).
She told me that earlier today, her brother (he's actually her half-brother) texted her, telling her he wanted to have sex with her. After a few replies of "are you joking/what are you talking about/etc.?" he absolutely proposed that they have sex. His reasoning was, "it could bring us closer together".
My wife was disgusted and freaked out about the whole thing and he dropped it after a few "are you sure you don't want to?" messages. She hasn't talked to him since. Bro-in-law is also engaged and bought a house with his fiancee, fyi.
My wife is understandably very upset. She doesn't think she'll ever be able to see him the same and thinks she might have lost her relationship with him forever. I think she probably feels pretty violated, too.
I don't even know how I feel. I feel like I should be extremely pissed and/or freaking out, but the whole situation is so surreal. It doesn't even feel like it's happening, like it's the kind of thing that would never happen to you.
It doesn't help that we'll be seeing him at a family function on Saturday.
My wife doesn't want me to tell anyone. I think she's ashamed and embarrassed. I think she feels like it might be her fault for some reason (even though she absolutely didn't do anything to cause this). I also feel like his fiancee deserves to know.
I'm not exactly sure what the point of this post was. I guess does anyone have any advice? Has anyone ever gone through something like this before?
TL;DR: | Brother-in-law wants to fuck my wife, she's disgusted and upset and is worried she's lost her relationship with him forever. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [17F] "dated" a guy [18M] for a few weeks and changed my mind about him stupidly. Don't know what to do to reconcile.
POST: So I'm a junior in high school. He's a senior. We've been friends this entire year and he's liked me from the beginning except for I was in a long term relationship. That ended it January and we started to have a thing in April. I was so happy with him but I was so hung up on my previous boyfriend and wanted something exactly like him so I was very distant.
I guess he considered us to be dating while I was not on the same page because I was uncomfortable and unsure of what I wanted. Lack of communication. I had no idea he thought that.
My friends also ended up playing a part. They didn't like him a whole lot because he didn't "fit in" and wasn't like my ex. So I had another friend that came to a party of mine. They kept pushing me and pushing me to give this guy a chance and I didn't really give in but I wasn't backing off his advances, which was wrong of me. I sat on his lap while playing super smash bros. That was really it. I thought I liked this new kid because he was like my ex. So in the midst of a mental breakdown a few days later, I ended it and went to the new guy. My "boyfriend?" heard that I sat on his lap so he wasn't happy. I quickly realized a few days later that I made the wrong decision and was chasing my ex through a different person.
I don't know what to do. I've thought on it for a long time and realized I'm not going to find someone like my ex and nor should I. The first guy and I were wonderful together. We still talk and have class together but it's not the same and he's still sour. I don't know how to reconcile with him without coming on so strong and sounding like an idiot. I went to him a few weeks after everything and apologized and admitted how stupid I was and that I still have feelings for him and all he said was "cool."
I'm a complete and utter idiot and any advice is welcome.
TL;DR: | I wasn't sure if I was dating this guy, stupidly went to another guy because he was like my ex, and realized how stupid I was. Looking for ways of reconciliation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: Should I be concerned? Low weight, short, and not as verbal as I was told he should be...
POST: My son just turned 2 in June. He is a smart little booger and keeps us on our toes. I always thought he was perfect until I went to his 18 month check-up and was told he was too small and that he should be talking more. After that appointment, I started comparing him to other toddlers his age and realized he was behind. He communicates in all ways possible except not much verbally. Momma, Daddy, Nana, yes, this, and don't are all he says, though I feel this is just due to us giving in to what we know he is trying to say. I am not worried so much about his talking as I am about his weight... at 25 months he is a tiny 22-23 lbs! He was 19-20 lbs at a year :-( Other toddlers his age are at or around 30 lbs.
We have been struggling to get him to eat. He nibbles and picks at his food. He is very picky about textures and won't eat anything slimy, mushy, or anything strange in general. Even if I make his favorite foods (which really has hardly any nutritional value like mac n' cheese or pancakes) he eats so little it stresses me out! I don't force him to eat and let him come back later if he decides he is hungry to nibble on it some more. We always make sure he eats with us, and if we are eating outside of the normal meal time, he will munch on what we are having as long as he likes it. His regular babysitter makes sure he eats eggs, oatmeal, sweet potatoes, and a protein shake to help with his weight but even that doesn't seem to be helping. Am I going about this all wrong? Any tips and suggestions are much appreciated! We were told to enroll him in an Early Learning program for his speech, but I think we will wait on that until he is closer to 3. I am mostly concerned about his weight.
TL;DR: | 2 year old is a tiny 23 lbs and doesn't talk as much as we were told he should. Any suggestions on how to try to catch him up?? Anyone else experience this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [26/m] I think I'm getting cheated on again after ~8 months [23/f]. Should I just expect it at this point?
POST: I've been cheated on a few times before. My first GF in high school cheated on me after a year. I had to break off a three year relationship with a girl when I was 22, after I found her FB messages. Overall I think there was one time where a relationship of mine ended that was not due to infidelity.
When I'm in an exclusive relationship I keep it that way, maybe people pick up this and play me for a fool. Maybe I am, I don't know. After the last relationship ended 3 years ago I've was trolling around bars looking for one-night stands to meet my needs. Its wasn't really satisfying, and successes were few and far between so I ended up meeting this girl and hitting it off, and we've been together since.
I started noticing the signs earlier than I'd admit, originally I thought I was paranoid because its happened before, but you can only ignore so many unexplained nights out, or the sudden influx of all these old friends I've never heard of.
Compounding this I've recently heard some pretty depressing shit from some other girls. An old friend of my sister got drunk with us not long ago and was literally bragging about how often she can go out and cheat on her boyfriend and get away with it. Another woman at an office party told me about how groups of her married friend will go out drinking and **take off their wedding rings** halfway through the night.
Is this a common theme nowadays? Has it always been like this? Should I just expect my relationships to end this way? Does it stop when people get older? Maybe its not helping that I'm reading shit like [Why cheating is good] (saying women SHOULD be cheating) and [this shit] saying 40-70% of people are cheaters.
I just feel like a mess right now and I feel depressed that my best option seems to be banging drunk chicks every few weeks and never talking to them again.
TL;DR: | Feeling like I should just expect to get cheated on at this point. Am I losing my mind or is this really the case? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How to get over your best friend while staying best friends?
POST: Basically I [21 M] have been friends with this girl [20 F] since high school, going into last year of uni now. Over the years it's gone from not having feelings, to having a crush (I always thought she was attractive), and then as we became pretty much best friends and especially over the past year I've pretty much fallen in love with her to the point that I think about her all the time.
There were always random hookups over the years with other people and what not for both of us, but I always got over it somehow whenever she did, mainly because it wasn't actually a thing. But over the past couple weeks there has been a guy she likes and has started kinda seeing, and it's starting to ruin me. I can't stop thinking about them together, and when I'm with her and see her texting him I get depressed. Just the feeling in general that she likes someone that much and it's not me is killing me
But even with this, I still do care about her so much and love her as a person. I have tons of fun with her otherwise and she's always the person I've gone to with problems and what not, and I'm going through some stuff right now which is making this even harder since when I go to her now I just keep thinking about her and that guy. I guess I always knew this time would come, but I don't know what to do now that it has.
So basically, is there any way or methods people have used to get over someone like this, but still stay as best friends? Or is it just impossible without me being constantly depressed and cutting communication or distancing myself is the only way?
TL;DR: | In love with best friend. She's starting to see another guy. Is there any way possible to get over her and stay best friends? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[25M] am panicking right now because I'm about to lose the woman[33F] of my life
POST: So, I've been with here for almost 7 years, we met when we both were student in america, she is Japanese and I'm from Belgium.
We could overcome the long distance during all the time and we met a lot of time during those 7 year, me going to Japan or her coming here.
Our relationship was close to perfect when we are together but became really bad when we were not, about 3 months ago during a call, she said she was tired of us not going forward ( as in getting married and living together for good.
So she wanted to break up, it already happened before but I wasn't that worry as everytime we meet again we could fix everything, last month she came to belgium but for the first time I realized that this time she was serious, and I know that the reason is that she met someone in Japan that even though she had no feeling toward he said all the thing she wanted me to say to her (get married, have a baby)
The thing is I didn't want to do that because I was still a student with no money, or right now I have a really good job and I'm ready for everything.
I bought an airplane ticket to go there in June because I want to fix everything but she said that if I go there she isn't going to meet me....
I really can't lose her. I'm ready to do anything, how can I show her that I'm serious, how can I tell her to meet me, I'm so lost and I'm panicking because I feel like she is just going to go with this other guy that just doesn't even love (her words) just because he said what she wanted to hear. And I'm sure that if he wasn't there, we would still be together...
And it's really hard to compete as he is there and I'm here... I feel like June is my last chance and I don't want to mess it up. What can I do when she say she doesn't even want to meet me...
Help..
TL;DR: | I'm panicking over losing the woman I love and I feel like I only have a small chance if any to fix it |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My SO[25M] and I[25F] have recently had several 3 ways with the same person[20F]. Will this ruin our relationship?
POST: My SO[25M] and I[25F] have been together for four years, We are happy, have an already great sex life and share on odd sense of humour.
We had always talked about having a MFF three way as it has always been a fantasy of mine to fuck a woman and luckily for me a fantasy of his to watch me.
The first time it happened was Halloween. I met her[20F] that night my SO had met her a few times previously through mutual friends. There was a large group of us all drunk and dressed up and having a great time.
from the get go she and I got along very well and it wasn't very long before she was all over me. The drinks were flowing so she admitted silly things to me like having always fancied my SO then when I walked in realising that he was punching above his weight and that I was incredibly beautiful. We very publicly got it on in the club and then all come back to mine and my SO flat.
The sex was amazing, she is amazing and her body AMAZING. It was quite scary how comfortable we all were with each other the next day all just laying around naked stroking each other an talking about our lives.
It has happened twice since then every time involving us very publicly and openly taking her home after a party. The second time was all about me and her my SO didn't get a look in for almost two hours but we made up for that.
The third time I was so drunk I passed out almost as soon as we got home and do not know what happened between them and it makes me feel quite sick. My SO tells me they didn't fuck each other they just cuddled and fondled and I do believe him.
So this is why I ask my question is there any way this can go on with out either me or him getting hurt or it becoming messy? at the moment my jealousy is under wraps which is mad because previously I have been an incredibly jealous person.
Just to add [20F] has a boyfriend of her own that lives away due to her being at university.
TL;DR: | My SO[25M] and I[25F] have had several MFF three ways with the same person[20F]. If this continues will it ruin our relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My gf wakes me up everytime on my day off when she works to make her coffee...this annoys me. Is that wrong?
POST: I usually work night shifts but from time to time on my days off when ever my gf spends the night if she works she will wake me up early hell and ask me to make her coffee as she gets ready or continues sleeping. I find this incredibly annoying because in a way I perceive the attitude she gives off as "well, if I have to wake up then everybody has to wake up because its not fair". So when I finally get to sleep a normal night and want to sleep in a little in the morning she wakes me up and start talking for days on end and interrupts my sleep. She catches my sense of annoyance and says things like "you don't love me" or "fine don't do anything" and treat me cold for the entire day. So in order to avoid such stupid arguing I make the coffee,which I understand is a quick process but it wakes me up and I cannot go back to sleep peacefully. She can do it herself am I right? Every now and then I don't mind doing it or making breakfast but if I'm enjoying my sleep on my few rare days off is it wrong to enjoy my dam sleep? When I worked my old job and would up at 4am to get ready I never woke her up...I actually tried being very quiet and conscious of her getting some rest and not wake up. I've spoken to her about this and she always says the same thing I mentioned above and will tell me never to bother doing anything for her again. It's really annoying. What do you think?
TL;DR: | my gf wakes me up on my off days when she works super early to make her coffee. This is annoying I love my sleep when I can get it. She gets mad when I express how I fell. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My husband (39M) is a workaholic and neglecting me (33F). How to handle this?
POST: I work a lot already: a professional full-time job plus an occasional part-time gig. I also do volunteer work, have a hobby outside the house, and go to work or social functions regularly with and without him. I am also writing my PhD dissertation. In short, I am the busiest person most people know who does not have kids.
Meanwhile my husband wakes up at 5 and goes to work and comes home at 8pm. He tries to work 10+ hours every day and this is normal in his field. We sleep in separate rooms so I don't also have to wake up at 5am. We set aside one weekend day to spend together but I don't feel this is enough or frequent enough. He knows I have a problem with this schedule but I also know he resents the restrictiveness of this schedule (i.e., he feels pressure to be home at 8pm). I also think he'd eventually resent me if I asked him to go in later or come home earlier. I know that he has a lot of work and that scientific work is sometimes unpredictable. However after a year of this, I feel very neglected and ignored. I now understand the 'bored housewife' trope even though I am neither! I worry that I will begin to seek out other companionship. No, he is not cheating; he is definitely working the entire day.
TL;DR: | my husband and I both work long hours and have fulfilling hobbies and enough alone time, but he feels restricted and I feel neglected. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit I need some help with getting my bosses to understand SOPA/PIPA.
POST: I work for a fortune 500 company that is mainly internet based. I brought up the SOPA/PIPA acts to my boss who is pretty high up in the company and he didn't know what it was. I feel like my own understanding of these acts are limited enough that I can't explain it well enough. I was wondering if you could give me links to what you feel are some of the best articles to get the point across. He basically wants me to find information and articles online and post them to our companies internal wiki page. So that different people within the company will have access to start getting an understanding of what possible ways this could effect the company. I would really appreciate some different articles and also your own understanding to relay to the higher ups in the company. I don't know if this will help in the fight against these acts, but I feel it sure as hell couldn't hurt.
TL;DR: | I need articles and information to relay to my boss so the fortune 500 company I work for can start to understand SOPA/PIPA and possibly join the fight against them. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [17 M] starting to feel attracted to a [17 F] who I've become friends with in the last few months, but is worried my recently diagnosed depression/anxiety is going to get in the way.
POST: Hello there, I'm searching for some advice and this looked like the place for it!
So as the title says, I've become close to a really pretty and funny girl whose is now in a lots of my free periods in Sixth Form, and she is also really good friends with some of my current friends too so there's no clash there - we were both bowling last night. I never noticed her last year but now I'm always looking forward to the next time I get to see her, and the feeling is at least partially mutual. We seem to have a lot more in common then we first realised.
I'm considering trying to nudge our relationship in the bf/gf direction but I've never gone out with anyone or anything but then I've never felt so chilled around a girl before.
That's not the real issue, the real issue is that I've been diagnosed with anxiety/depression a week or so ago (which she knows about) and I'm concerned my low mood and self hatred is going to get in the way of our friendship, let alone being anything more. I'm on antidepressants which will take at least another week to kick in, and I will hopefully start seeing a psychologist soon. I guess what I'm asking is whether I should try to get closer to her or wait until my own messed up head is sorted. (No idea how long that would take 'cause I'm in a fucking low place ATM and I hate being negative or for other people to see me in a bad mood).
Any advice of any kind or anyone that can relate would be massively appreciated.
TL;DR: | Depression might get in the way of a possible relationship with a girl I'm really attracted to, should I wait it out for an unknown amount of time until 'it gets better'or just try to ignore my low mood? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Any advice on eating throughout the day despite never being hungry?(details inside)
POST: Hey there! New to posting here, though I've lurked for a while. I realize this title might lead to the wrogn thoughts, so I'll start by saying I just have a bad habit of not eating. I'm not doing it intentionally, I've seen a doctor, it's not anything ED related.
That said, it is impacting my journey to weight loss and health, I'm pretty sure. I've heard that your body stores food if it feels it's not getting enough, and I have a feeling my problems start with this bad habit.
I'll use an example from today. I've eaten a handfull of bran cereal, which is filling but not a full day's worth of filling. However typically I'll go until dinner time before my next meal. Not on purpuse, it's just that the handfull of cereal plus a glass of water/coffee/etc fills me up fully. I then don't think about the fact that I might be hungry until another person is nearby and they mention food.
Does anyone have any advice on making myself eat regularly? A handfull of cereal is at best around 200 calories (judging by the box), and at worse far less if I don't eat a decent sized handfull. My dinners aren't ever huge, they're healthy portion sizes, but I can't imagine they have enough calories to put me in a healthy range. Alternatively, if it's not actually bad to go so long without food, is there a way to work in better quality foods in those times I am hungry to make it less unhealthy? Is the whole "you won't lose weight if you don't get enough calories" thing truth or myth?
TL;DR: | I'm never hungry, don't get a lot of calories in due to this. Any way to teach myself to eat consistently? Alternatively, any better meal options to make the most of the rare times a day I do eat? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by bringing the wrong presents to a party
POST: This happened the other night at a dinner party at my girlfriend's friend's apartment.
**The Before**
Recently my girlfriend and I have been talking about getting back into shape (I had been playing Ultimate Frisbee for several years and recently had to stop due to too much schoolwork, and my girlfriend just wanted to get more active), so I decided I should get us Fitbits for Christmas. I was rather excited, ordered them on Amazon a week before the party (thank you Amazon Prime!), and waited to exchange the presents.
Well, I couldn't wait any longer, and since my girlfriend and I aren't going to see each other on Christmas, due to attending our respective family's festivities, I figured I would bring them along and exchange them at the party! The host of the party said there were "presents under the tree for us", so I figured it would be a good time to do it.
**The During**
Now my girlfriend didn't know about the gifts and I wanted it to be a surprise, so I wrapped them up - without labels - and brought the along with a bottle of wine to the dinner. I tucked the presents under the tree, unannounced, and we continued to have a wonderful meal.
Later in the evening we exchange presents, and I think you can see where I'm going with this. Now, I can get a bit socially awkward at parties if I'm not really close to everyone there - which I wasn't. The host's wife starts pulling presents from under the tree and sees my two gifts. She asks who's they are, I answer they were mine, and before I could say anything she goes "Oh, these must be for us!" and they start opening the presents....
They seemed very excited.......
**The After**
I now am out two fitbits (one for myself, and one for my girlfriend), my girlfriend is now mad at me because I ruined the surprise, and now I won't be able to order new ones in time for Christmas...
**The
TL;DR: | Brought unlabeled gifts to a dinner party, intended for my girlfriend and I, the hosts thought there were for them and opened the presents. I have now ruined Christmas. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend is getting to be clingy.
POST: Hey Reddit. I'm 18M dating a 17F.
My girlfriend and I were set up by a mutual friend of ours about a month ago. We both knew of each other and thought the other was attractive, but we were both too shy to do anything about it. Needless to say, when we were set up, we didn't know each other very well. After about a week, I thought she was pretty cool, so I asked her to be my girlfriend.
Anyway, in the past few weeks, she's become terribly clingy. She has a really shitty home life, and I think it stems from that. Regardless of why she is the way she is, it's really annoying and a major turn off. She texts me all the time, and if I don't reply within 10 minutes, she starts sending more and more. She wants to be around me constantly, even going as far as to push me to disobey my parents in order to see her. The worst part is that two weeks ago, she told me that she loved me. That was my first major red flag. I tried to tell her that she doesn't, but that just led to a major fight.
Normally, I would just end it, but we've had make out sessions recently that have escalated into other things of a sexual nature. Nothing serious at all, but enough to make me think that she might think I was using her for things like that if I were to break up with her now. Guys have been terrible assholes to her in the past, and the last thing I want to do is remember me as one of them.
I still like her and think she's really cool, but I can't deal with this shit. I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend is really clingy, but I don't want to break up with her and make her think that I was using her. Help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Does post university dating (for people in their twenties to thirties) ever get easier? I feel like I'm the only one left.
POST: Last weekend I turned 24, I got lucky and found work right out of graduation as an accounting clerk. I've been with the company for a year now and have begun taking night courses towards my designations. I'm still pretty new to the 8-5 working world and living with my parents until I can clear out more debt.
My whole life I have been surrounded by people my own age, I've had two serious relationships and a handful of flings. Now I see someone my age once or twice a week. I am the only twenty year old in my office. (Everyone is mid to late 40s). So when I'm not at the gym or rock climbing I never really run into anyone I can connect with. It's been bumming me out as of late. I have my group of close friends but no one new has come into my life in a while now and I'm beginning to feel like this is the new "norm".
I've been trying to get involved in more things (time and money permitting) like co-ed sports leagues and I signed up for online dating too. I've had a few messages go back and forth online but there only seems to be a handful of people using the sites in my area. Everyone else happens to be 1-2 hour drives away. In the real world it seems like everyone I meet is already in a relationship (when I do meet someone new) All of the couples I know met in college or highschool.
Realistically I know I haven't missed my chance. But at the moment it certainly feels that way. I'm guessing that I am going about this the wrong way. I'm not desperately searching, but it's definitely on my mind. I've just been focusing on myself and keeping my eyes/ears open to new opportunities.
So to all of you bachelor/bachelorettes or even happy couples that have met after finishing their education. what advice/stories can you share with a bummed out single such as myself that can give me hope?
I know its lame but, I'd like to know that everything will be okay.
TL;DR: | 24 years old. After graduating and finding work it seems like people my age don't exist. I've joined co ed clubs and dating sites. Everyone seems to already be in a relationship or live 1 - 2 hours away. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Trust issues? Jealousy? Just longing? WTF is this!?
POST: Heya reddit. Me (27M) , her (23F).Back story is that I met this girl on OK Cupid and we have been officially dating for a little more than 2 months. For the most part everything is great. We talk about everything, share many common interests and have awesome sex.
It just seems that she is not sure of herself sometimes. Once she asked me if I was attracted to one of her friends, she has gone through my fbook friends list and asked who two women were because they "liked a lot of my posts". I have been completely honest with her and have done nothing that would make her not trust me and she says that she does trust me, just not sure if I believe it.
One of the issues we apparently have is that I like to go out to a bar to hang with some long time friends of mine once or maybe twice a week to play poker. This makes her obviously uncomfortable and sometimes she tends to get upset about it. I need to move out of my apt in a couple months and one of my poker buddies made me an awesome offer to move in with him.
When I explained this to her she was very upset and clearly expressed it. She claims that I am being selfish and "just thinking about me" because we live pretty far apart already (about a 40 minute drive) and this place would add about 5 minutes to that, but so far we both make efforts to make the drive and visit each other on the weekends. She also thinks that moving in with him will be "an excuse to go out more" and she "doesn't know if he will have some chick hanging around".
I was looking for apartments somewhere closer to her but I am getting an immensely better deal by moving in with this guy into a nice house.
She is adamant in saying that she trusts me completely. If that's true then WTF is going on here? I really like this chick and other than these issues things have been going great. Delicate situation and any advice on how to proceed would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | GF seems unsure or even worried about me when I go out, shit blew up when I told her I am moving in with a buddy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Student loans
POST: I currently have 48k in student loans and I'm just starting my third year. My parents just got divorced. My mom isn't going to help at all and my dad can't help too much. We are probably on the borderline of middle/lower class (closer to middle) as we have enough money to eat and have a house, but not enough for entertainment. My dad has a good salary, but a lot of the money goes to my mom or to debt that my mom accumulated and dumped on my dad during the divorce. I do go to a private technical school, but I feel I like I should not have this much debt already. I have a 3.95 gpa and I'm in an engineering major so I will be able to pay it off after college. My friends who have similar financial statuses have much less debt than me. Is this too much debt already or am I jut freaking out?
TL;DR: | I have 48k in student loans and I am starting my third year. Is this too much or am I freaking out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [23F] ex-boyfriend [24M] professed his love for me after not seeing him for 5 years.
POST: Last night I received a message through Snap chat from my ex stating that even though he hasn't seen/talked to me for 4+ years, I am the love of his life and he loves me deeply. I don't have his phone number or anything, and I never send him anything through Snapchat. I just had him there because previous contacts stay in the app. I blocked him after I read that message and that was that.
I have no feelings for him whatsoever. I am currently in a relationship with the most amazing guy ever, whom I imagine spending my life with. My question is whether I should let him know about the message I received or just leave it.
I don't want to tell him because there is absolutely no reason for it. In my opinion, it would create trouble or unwanted thoughts where there should be none. On the other hand, I don't want to keep anything from him. I
I just don't want to create problems where there are none because of a dumb guy who seems obsessed.
TL;DR: | Obsessed ex-boyfriend from 5 years ago is supposedly in love and I don't know if I should let my boyfriend know. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (27f) best friend from middle school/high school (26f) reached out to my mom (60f) via social media to ask for a pretty significant loan. Not sure how to approach this.
POST: My former best friend and I are still on good terms, however she stayed in our hometown and I moved away over 7 years ago. My parents are still there, but never see her or interact with her in any way, but she is friends with my mom on Facebook.
My mom called me today and was a combination of confused/pissed off about a message she received from my friend asking for a loan to help with some legal troubles. My parents are in no place to be giving out money to anyone and definitely can['t support this request. My mom can be kind of reactionary, so I helped her write a polite response basically telling her no, but also making sure she knows that if they can support her in some other way, they could potentially be open to it.
So at this point, I'm not sure what to do (if anything). It completely floored me that she would reach out to my family like that without talking to me about it at all. I am very familiar with her legal troubles, but not because she felt brave enough to tell me herself and mostly because much of it was reported about in the local news. She has to realize that my mom would be telling me about her request, right? Should I talk to her about this or just leave it be? What would I even say?
TL;DR: | Old friend asked my parents for money, never talked to me about it first. Parents said no, but I'm not sure if I should talk to her about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: Should I [22M] give it one last shot with my new ex [22F] before moving on for good?
POST: **Heres some background info.** We dated for just under a year. We ended because we both felt something was off and I addressed it. She said she doesnt feel the same anymore because after a couple months of stressing about it, she got 'past the point of caring' (her words).
The issue she was stressing about was if I liked her. She always wanted a more emotionally connected relationship and so did I. But we both were very scared to show our true feelings. But it all came out once we broke up. During the breakup discussion I said how I was actually scared about how open I should be, she said the same. But we didnt know how to fix that.
The only difference is when I finally communicated this to her (I should of brought it up way earlier), she said she wants to care and that she knows she should care and she wants to go back. But doesnt feel like it will ever be the same. She said she was numb to it at this point.
The breakup came in stages. I called her and told her we need to talk. We decided to not talk for a day to collect our thoughts. We met up, ate dinner, and spoke about us for three hours before she suggested we take a break (but we both knew that was where it was heading), then a couple days later we chatted again over the phone and I finally said that we should break up (but we both knew that it had to be said).
We havent spoken since and its been 5 days since we 'officially' broke up, but its been 9 since the original call.
**I want to take one last attempt at reconciling before completely moving on. Should I contact her now? Wait a week or two (or longer)? If I do, what do I even say?
TL;DR: | Broke up due to mutual issues but I want to try again. How do I go about doing it. (Reading the background info is important to understand the context. I made it as short as I could.) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [F/28] I'm pretty religious, but my boyfriend [M/29] isn't at all. Those who are religious with atheist SO's, how do you make it work?
POST: I've been with my scientist boyfriend for about 6 months and everything is going great. We have interesting conversation and being that we have opposing views on God and religion, we debate it often. We were both raised in Catholic households. During a difficult time in my life, I turned to God and through my faith found happiness and peace of mind. He had the opposite effect. He said he was searching for answers and religion did not provide them. He says he believes facts and things that can be proven. He believes in science.
There are a lot of ideas the Catholic church preaches that I do not agree with. Aside from the church though, I know that I love and believe in God. Boyfriend has no such faith. I respect his views completely, and never try to push my beliefs on him.
I'm starting to think more about our possible future together and I can't help but wonder how this would work once children come into the picture. Things are wonderful between us, but how would we raise our family? Shouldn't parents provide a unified front? I know this is hypothetical, but I'm curious to know how religious people and non-believers make it work.
TL;DR: | God is a big part of my life, but not so for my boyfriend. Is this a fundamental incompatibility, or is there hope for us? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [26f] doesn't want to dance with me anytime I [26m] ask, but when I gave a friend permission to dance with her she went instantly when asked.
POST: We have been together for over 6 years and every time we go to a club or place where there is dancing I want to dance, but she doesn't want to. We danced a couple times before during our first year together, but since then she doesn't want to dance with me. I've asked her a few more times throughout the 5 years and she would say she doesn't want to. I figured that she does not like to dance because she is shy or something. However, when she is drunk she sometimes shyly dances with herself (moving of arms etc, swinging side to side, etc.)
Then sometime ago we were out with a few friends and we had a few drinks. A friend asked me if he can dance with my girlfriend. I said yes thinking that she was going to say no because she never wants to dance with me. So on my part I kind of want to see what she would say. Then when she was asked and got up immediately I was surprised along with our other friends that she went dancing with him. Apparently she was drunk from what she told me, but I didn't think so because she only was able to comprehend and hesitated when my friend asked her to dance. They didn't dance long, but it was for about 2 songs.
Later on, about 30 minutes after she danced, I wanted to dance so I asked her and she said no. The next day I got mad at her about that night. She said she didn't remember me asking her to dance. Then later on she says she doesn't feel comfortable with dancing with me.
Am I at fault here? Do I have a reason to be mad at her? Why does she do this?
TL;DR: | My girlfriend is immediately to dances with my friend with my permission, but doesn't want to dance with me even later on that night. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [30 M] have been dating a girl [31 F] for 8 months and now I feel pressure to...
POST: We met in December. She came to the US on student visa which expired and she doesn't have a lot of options to stay in the country other than to get married.
I was aware of her status when we started dating although I didn't think there's no other alternative for her other than to get married until a few weeks ago.
Her family is well to do in her home country but she doesn't want to go back because she wanted to get away from her family. Her background is in acting and she wants to break into acting in NYC. Although she applied to a school she was rejected she thinks because of her legal status.
When we first started dating, she would always look forward to us hanging out. I had a job that was very demanding and at the same time I was keeping things open, so I didn't invest as much in our relationship.
When summer came around, we started seeing each other more frequently and I started developing feelings for her. I even introduced her to my parents who had some doubts about her status and why she didn't seek another career as many people in the US do, especially since performing in English is not something she's comfortable doing yet.
Summertime went well until her sister came to visit and she started getting homesick. When I asked her what her plans were she said that her parents wanted her to go back. A conversation about how much I really cared for her and then we had a fight over how I wasn't that much into her although she loved me to the depths of earth. After failing to get accepted into a local school for acting, she said that she stayed in the country for me. I know she would rather not leave so I'm not sure that's 100% true.
I am very much in love with her now after getting to know her but at the same time I don't want to do anything rash just because she's in a delicate situation. She's picking up on my concerns and thinks it's better that we move on. Could this be a ploy for her to get me to become closer to her and perhaps come out of my comfort zone and get married to her?
TL;DR: | A girl I'm dating is saying she loves me but now she wants to call it quits claiming she loves me and that I don't love her enough given her situation. Should I continue pursuing this relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [31 M] suck at communicating financial info to my wife [28 F].
POST: I work, my wife stays home watching out 4yo autistic child. We aren't well off financially, but things are starting to look up (her sister moved in, so the extra money from rent will help). Being that I don't make much, we are constantly behind on bills. Always behind, but never have anything shut off.
The problems arise due to me trying to shield her from whats going on. She knows that the bills are past due, but doesn't look at just how far past they are, or how little we have in the bank. I don't out and out hide this info, but don't offer it up. I don't do this because I'm trying to keep her in the dark. I do this because when she does see the bills, or gets delinquent notices in the mail, or someone comes to the door, she either gets really mad or really depressed.
The anger I can handle. But when she gets depressed, she gets to a really low point, usually for a few days. She talks about pawning things, or not eating to save money.
I know that it's not healthy to not have her input in this, but how can I include her when she doesn't like looking at the reality of it?
TL;DR: | My wife gets mad/sad when I don't tell her we're broke, gets mad/sad when I do tell her we're broke. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19F] with my SO [19M] of 1 year, 7 months, is threatening to break up if i dont break contact with a close friend of 4 years! Help!
POST: So, for the last three months my boyfriend has been upset with me every time I mention or talk to this friend of mine (the friend is 22 M, lets call him Ethan).
I've had this friend for 4 years and we've been really close since Ethan went away to college, hanging out every once in a while but we live over an hour apart so we don't hangout very often (i've only seen him 3 times in the last 7 months, and talk to him on the phone maybe twice a month). After the last time I saw him (and my boyfriend was there for this, it was at an event at our high school I invited my friend to), my SO was visibly upset and later told me that I had to break off contact with Ethan or that would be it for us. When he got upset, nothing had even happened, i had just talked to Ethan for like 15 minutes before he left, nothing else, my SO just didnt like him whatsoever.
We've gone back and forth on this quite a bit but he's been more forceful about this lately, though i've only talked to my friend a time or two on he phone since May. Ethan has helped me through a lot of school, drama etc. (and i've helped him as well with some pretty significant things, like deaths, getting through school, jobs, etc.) and I really can't imagine breaking contact completely, he and I are too good of friends for that. It makes sense that my SO is wary of some other guy that he doesn't really know, but he also hasn't been willing to even formally talk to and meet him! Do you guys thinks it's fair of him to do this, should I talk to my friend about it? What should I do?
TL;DR: | SO wants me to break contact with a close friend or is threatening to break up with me, what should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: a classic sit-com set up turns out to not be so funny irl. i feel like i'm going to have a panic attack, hopefully reddit can at least help me make a clear minded decision.
POST: So, I'm in love with two women. This is probably not that unusual, and actually I am probably in love with way more than 2 women, but the circumstance of this day/week have left me pretty flustered.
About 5 months ago my gf of 4+ years and I broke up. We had been living together and just weren't having fun together anymore. She mostly did the breaking up, I wanted to work on it more. There were a lot of issues, but nothing I saw as impossible to over come (largely, I think, based on the fact the she is an extroverted energetic person and i am an introverted lazy motherfucker). She and I are both 25.
So on go a few months of me pining, drinking, smoking, spending time with my buddies and... viola, met a new girl. I wasn't looking for anything serious, just a rebound/fling. Which is what it started as. We hooked up after a party a couple different nights (as we have mutual friends and see each other frequently in those situations). After a couple times I ventured to ask her out just the two of us, and we just have a ton in common. We've been going out 2-3 times a week for a couple months now, but nothing official. She is about my age, a year or two younger.
Now the ex has re-entered my life and somehow it's come down to me chosing which one of them I see TONIGHT, after sort of making up with the ex over the weekend. Both of them want to see me, romantically, tonight. I'm sure there are a lot of details I've left out, so please let me know what else I can add, but this is just feeling really long.
TL;DR: | do i pick the ex i thought i was meant to be with, or the potential new relationship that may never go anywhere but is a symbol of the new. |
SUBREDDIT: r/college
TITLE: Continuing degree without parental approval and its effects on my financial aid.
POST: Hello Everyone,
The long short of the personal side of this story is that me and my parents have always seldom seen eye to eye on certain matters and now they believe that for my own good I should return home and finish my degree under their roof at a different school. Finishing my degree at my current school will take 21 hours, and transferring to the new school would require 45+ hours of work to graduate with the same degree and fewer minors. I am 22 and obviously have no legal obligation to return home, and the sound decision degree wise is to stick it out at my first institution and graduate on my own regardless of parental approval. I have been very fortunate in that my parents have taken to handling my student loans but now this seems like power they are holding over my head and this is the only real hurdle I face in truly making my own way.
I will just make this short and say income and personal matters are taken care of and I would be able to hold my own just fine, however I am currently unaware of the consequences or actions they could take against me aid wise in retaliation to me declining to return home. My loans are currently a mix of personal and parent plus loans and I am unsure how to change gears to allow me to have full control over the finances of finishing my degree. I don't believe my parents would act with any malice towards me and try to sabotage me in any way but it has been made very clear that if I go my own way it will be on my own.
So
TL;DR: | Im continuing to go to college without my parents approval and I would like to understand how to prepare my financial aid for this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am I (22/M) in love?
POST: Hey guys. Hoping I can get some much needed advice,
So about a month, I (22/M) left my abusive ex girlfriend of 3.5 years. I just couldn't take it anymore and I didn't care for her as much as I used to. The night I left, I went to my friend's house and we slept together for about 3 days and then she just cut off contact with me. Then I met this amazing girl who truly gets me and understands me. She's always there for me and always checks to make sure I'm okay and I do the same for her. We started dating about 3 weeks after I left my ex until about 2 weeks ago. It appears that I'm struggling with PTSD and Depression, but excercising, taking St John's Wort, 5-HTP, and seeing or talking to her helps. She thinks we maybe rushed into the relationship. Maybe we did? I don't know. All I know is she's virtually my only friend and the only person that gets me. I always worry about her and constantly make sure she's okay. She tells me to not worry about her and to worry about me. I haven't seen her in a few days and she's my only social interaction outside of work. I'm confused. I want to be with her, but I understand she needs time to figure herself out. She's all I think about from the moment I wake up until I go to bed. I think about how great it will be being with her in the future. Am I in love or am I just addicted to her like other people told me? I could really use some advice.
TL;DR: | 22/m just out of abusive relationship and has feelings for another girl, but I'm really confused. Do I love her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I need to decide if I should start a proper relationship with this girl I've been seeing. Can you guys give me some advice?
POST: So, I'm 21 years old, senior in college, a few emotional issues have made it hard for me to hit it off with girls. I'm lucky; I'm attractive and I can be charming. If it weren't for that I'd probably have been forever alone. As it is, I've had very few, very short relationships, and a few scattered one night stands.
I've been in therapy for the last 18 months and I'm doing a lot better. I've definitely been getting more interest from girls and I've been getting better at returning it. My plan has been to keep things casual for now and just spend a few months getting used to hitting on girls, going on dates, and getting comfortable with sex, which has never really been a big part of my life before.
All that's going pretty well. I'm not sure I'm really a player at heart, though. And now I've met a girl who wants to go out with me officially, and I'm torn. She's easy to talk to, a lot of fun to hang out with, pretty decent looking, and good in bed. The only problem is that she doesn't really give me any butterflies in my stomach, you know? We could have a really fun relationship, and I think that would be nice; but there's no burning need for her, there's no infatuation, there's not even that much lust. Part of me wants to just date the nice girl since it'll be fun, and there will be lots of just-kinky-enough sex involved, and part of me wants to hold out for butterflies.
I'm not asking you guys to make up my mind for me, but I'm pretty new to the dating scene and I'd really appreciate any perspective that you can offer.
TL;DR: | great girl that I'm not going crazy for: short fun relationship, or keep playing the feild and looking for love? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Cooking
TITLE: Dietary limitations are making my meals boring, help?
POST: Ok, so my darling husband has high blood pressure, high cholesterol, colitis, and diverticulosis. Because of these health issues we have to be super careful about what we eat. Our meals must be low fat, low cholesterol, and medium fiber. The diverticulosis diet is high fiber, but the colitis diet is low fiber. So we try to hit the middle of the road. He can't have raw vegetables, we've realized those will send us to the hospital. (colitis) In an average week we eat chicken two days, pork two days, fish two days, and red meat one day a week. I've been checking out the recipes here and have found a few I want to try. But I was wondering if anyone else here has these issues. Also I'd love some recipe recommendations. Side dishes, main dishes, everything. Right now I cook almost the same meals every week. There is very little variation and we're so tired of the same things over and over.
Please keep in mind when suggesting recipes: low-fat, low-cholesterol, medium fiber, not spicy.
TL;DR: | Hubby's health issues limit our meals to low-fat, low-cholesterol, medium fiber, not spicy foods. Any recipe suggestions that fit in all of those categories? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's the most impressive thing you've accomplished while extremely drunk? I'll start.
POST: So we've all heard stories of the dumb shit people do when they're hammered. Let's hear some of the things you've done that most would say is quite impressive for someone who is very drunk.
I was up in Canada (Montreal) for the first time a few months ago. I went with my girlfriend and a group of friends. We got there in the late afternoon on Friday, relaxed, went out to get some food/explore.
Fast forward to Saturday night when we all go out with the intentions of getting extremely drunk. Being new to Montreal, I don't know where any of the good spots are but a friend of mine who was with us knew his way around a bit. We walk to this bar not far from where we were staying, have some drinks, then hop in a cab to find a place we could get crazy and dance a bit. At this point I'm already pretty loaded, and don't know where we are in relation to the place we were staying at. We find a place playing pretty good music that also featured erotic artwork on the walls. I'm talking bright colored paintings of girls going down on each other. Only thing to do in a place like that is get super drunk.
Later on, my girlfriend wanted to head back to the place we were staying but the rest of our friends decided to hang back and party a bit more. From this point on, I don't remember a thing. The next day, my girlfriend explained to me that I not only walked her back to the place we were staying, but I navigated the streets of Montreal perfectly...I even corrected her a few times on where to go. How? I have no idea. Apparently I turn in to a GPS when I'm blacked out.
TL;DR: | I navigated the streets of a foreign country I had only been in for about 36 hours, and found my way home using only my drunk intuition. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18F] hate my coworkers [20's m&f]
POST: Hi guys so I've been at this job for about 9 months now and it's pretty nice. Flexibility with scheduling and it's a relaxed office enviornment. That being said I can't stand my coworkers. I'm a serious worker who understands that in an office environment you stay quiet, however my coworkers LOVE to speak loudly and obnoxiously. This has been a problem in the past with them being told to be quiet it's not okay. This does nothing, my boss would never fire them due to the fact that they're all friends.
They don't like me either mainly because I don't talk and gossip with them. Plus I never get reprimanded. In fact when I was hired I started at the same time as another girl and we became friends. Well my others coworkers didn't like this so they constantly snitched to my boss if I ever did something wrong in the slightest. It lasted about 2 months worth then trying to get my friend and I to quit. Eventually they succeeded with my friend and laughed as she left the office. The rude behavior eventually stopped and I became friends with the older associates at my company. They told me about how they were suprised at how my coworkers hadn't been fired already and that they were a pain to deal with. Although I was happy to hear this, dealing with my coworkers has got me at the end of my rope. I hate going to work now and dealing with them but I'm hesitate to quit.
Our department head is retiring soon and I'm thinking about atleast staying till then to see if it gets better. At the same time though I want to go somewhere new and more related to the field I study but I'm worried about sacrificing a flexible schedule. Please just any advice would be helpful.
TL;DR: | I hate my job because of my coworkers and don't know if I should wait to leave after department head gets replaced. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (46F) son (21M) installed a security gate at his house to keep me and my husband (47M) away from his house.
POST: My son and I have always had a pretty good relationship, he has always been very responsible and smart until recently. He started his own business about a year ago and has done very well so far. Well enough that he bought his own house last month. About two weeks ago me and my husband decided to drop by for a visit, he only lives about a mile away. The house is off the road a bit and has a long driveway, as we pull up we see about 6-7 cars in the driveway so we go ahead and go in the house because the door was unlocked, there were about 10 people standing around drinking beer including our son. Alcohol has never been something we approved of in our family and our son was always raised in church, my husband was pretty irate and made a little bit of a scene. Anyway about a week later we go by for another visit and out son had installed a security gate with a keypad to get in. We called our son who was home at the time and ask for the passcode but he didn't give it to us, he opened the gate by remote from the house. We had a long talk and he claims we do not respect his privacy and that he is independent now. In my eyes he is only 21 years old and still has a lot of learning to do, and throwing alcohol fueled parties is not responsible behavior. Just looking for some advice on how to best handle this situation, thanks.
TL;DR: | Caught our son throwing a party at his house, he now has installed a security gate and refuses to give us the passcode. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] with my GF [18 F] 1.5 years, I'm staying at uni for a few weeks after the end of exams, she is going straight home and isn't happy
POST: Me and my GF come from the same town, and go to universities which are a short train journey apart. This means that even when we are at uni, we get to see each other usually every weekend or every other weekend.
It is exam season now, and my uni has lots of events scheduled afterwards for everyone to de-stress and have fun, most of my friends here will be staying to take part.
My GF is coming to stay with me for a whole week after exams are over, before she heads home for the summer. She is very unhappy with the idea of me remaining here for a week or two, saying that she feels that since for all this time we've been forced by schedules to see each other infrequently, me choosing to stay at uni for a while suggests that I don't care about her.
Of course I care about her, and am really looking forward to having her stay for a whole week with me. I just don't want to miss out on all the fun that my friends are going to be having in the end of term events. This is my first year of uni, and I feel like I should get to finish it properly rather than leave before the party everyone else is going to.
I suggested that she could stay with me for the duration of the time I want to stay here, but she refused because she feels she doesn't fit in with my friends and flatmates here.
I'm at a loss at what to say to her, I really want to stay for a little while, and can't seem to convince her of my point of view.
Any advice would be very appreciated, I might have accidentally left out useful information so please ask me anything :)
TL;DR: | I want to stay at uni after exams for the events with all my friends, GF is heading straight home and is unhappy that we'll be apart. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Not sure if this is the correct subreddit, but I need help with two conflicting interviews.
POST: So I've been looking for a job for about a month now, and a friend of mine had told me that his buddy is looking for sales associates for a vape shop in a mall.
I got an interview, and did well. He told me he'd let me know by the end of the day/tomorrow for a job offer.
Literally as I got back to my house, my phone rings and it's an HR representative from a company looking to fill an IT internship, and I have an interview on Thursday.
Well, I just got a message from the vape shop about giving me a job offer. I'm not really sure what to tell them about my second interview and a hell of a better job. (It's the field I'm getting into.)
What should I tell him? That I'm pending an interview from a possible job opportunity? My girlfriends dad, (the one that submitted my resume and put a good word in for me) said they need an intern ASAP. So if they like me I'd likely be hired almost instantly.
TL;DR: | I got a job offer, but I have an interview in a few days for a potential better job in the field I'm studying for. Don't know how to handle the situation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do II [23f] deak with recent lack of sex from husband of 1 year [25m]
POST: These past 2 months or so my husband has not had a lol of sex with me. We used to do it about 3 or 4 times a week and now maybe once a week.
He is depressed. So these last few weeks whenever I initiate ssx he says 'Nooo go away!' or just groans and says 'no doggy down' as a joke. He often starta to touch me and them stops.
He says he feels pressured because I want sex, and that makes him not want any. I feel so terrible.
He will be telling me how bored he is and I just think to myself 'huh maybe bang your wife?'.
I told him that the constant rejection hurt but he gets reeally mad and says it's not 'rejection' and me seeing it that way makes him more unwilling.
I cry myself to sleep now sometimes. I never ever ever reject him. I just wish he'd be into me again :\.
And yah I probably come off as clingy but I keep this to myself most of the time. I've tried to talk about it. He says I just need to stop pressuring him.
He keeps making gross jokes about shit or farts loudly. He will grope me and then just get distracted by his video games.
I dread going to bed at night cause I fear it is going to be another sexless day. I just wish he'd fucking try to get in the mood but he's just pissed.
Idk how to stop feeling like shit and accept this.
TL;DR: | = husband barely fucks me anymore. I need to stop pressuring him. I feel like the ugliest piece of shit in the world. How can I let go of this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (20/F) mom (40/F) doesn't allow me to see my boyfriend (21/M) because of his past with self harm.
POST: Hey all, I was hoping I could get some opinions and advice on the current situation i'm in. I appreciate it in advance.
A year ago I was able to get a job in retail. I'm now meeting tons of people and making great friends, and even a boyfriend! But the problem is my mother doesn't approve of me being with him and I'm starting to feel depressed.
The reason this is, is because he has cut scars on his arm. He had a very dark past, and it is behind him now. But on one particular night at 3am, a family member of his passed away very suddenly and he called me telling me how he felt the urge to start cutting again. I was concerned as anyone would be so I told him to come to my house so I could help him. She found out the next day and I ended up telling her the situation, she now believes hes dangerous and a threat to me. That "if he can hurt himself whats stopping him from hurting you". I have not been able to be with him outside of work for the last 2 months now and it is straining on our relationship. The truth is I've been lying to her by saying work called me in a couple hours early, so that she will drop me off, and he will pick me up from there to spend a couple hours with me. I feel extremely guilty for lying to her, and completely paranoid when I'm with him.
I've had tons of people tell me "You're 20, she can't tell you what to do" But it is not like that at all. Sure, I *can* go out, be with him and do whatever I want, but at the cost of her trust and respect for me, and possibly our relationship. I respect her too much to ruin our relationship, she is the only family I have and have ever known. She is just very stubborn and the kind of person who is extremely difficult to talk to and reason with. I don't know what to do or say to her.
TL;DR: | my mom thinks my boyfriend is dangerous and a threat to me because he used to cut himself. Haven't been able to spend time with him in 2 months |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (25F) keep self-sabotaging my relationship and I really nice help. How do you keep insecurities from ruining things?
POST: As the title says, I need help. I know by 25 I should be more comfortable with myself but I keep finding myself in this dark place where my insecurities are spilling over and impacting my relationship.
I've been dating this GREAT human being (34M) since January of 2016. I find that the more serious we get, the crazier I feel. I have never really liked myself and I feel like I should be over that period of my life by now. Buuuuut, I keep hearing this little voice in my head telling me I'm not "enough" for him. He gets so frustrated validating me and I'm frustrated, too. A lot of times this spirals into an argument and has me in tears. I need advice, how do you guys quell those negative feelings when they come up? I don't want to ruin my relationship with my great guy because of this little voice.
I'm sorry this might seem like a silly question, it's my first time posting ever and I want some insight from people who have no idea who I am, and I hope I can find that here!
TL;DR: | insecurities keep causing fights with my s/o and I need advice or even past experiences/insight so I don't self-sabotage and lose a great relationship! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [UPDATES] I [23F] found out he [29M] has another child.
POST: Just wanted to update you guys. Previous postings on finances & infidelity [here] and learning about lying about # of kiddos [here] and [here](
In short, I am a coward. Being without him scared the heck out of me and every time I ended it, I would flip-flop a couple of days later begging him to stay. I'm every terrible stereotype.
Fast forward to two weeks ago. I end it, mean it, and plan to stick to it. He plans to move out of state to be near to his mom & where he has a job opportunity (which is great). My resolve to break up lasts one full week of him packing his things - one of the hardest weeks I have ever had. I change my mind again because he's really trying to show me he's better, changing. I tell him that don't want him to leave.
I say that the only way we had any hope in hell of making this work is to go to counseling, live together & work on our trust / intimacy / financial issues every day. Turns out, he chooses to leave anyway because of 1) the constant up-and-downs have screwed with him; and 2) to improve upon one of our points of contention - that he doesn't contribute to the household financially.
He says that he still wants to make it work - wants to do long distance and says that this could be the thing we need. I take this as a sign (since all of the others weren't?). No. If I can't trust you to stay faithful and honest when you're living in my home, I certainly can't trust across the country.
He moved last Wednesday. And honestly... I'm doing okay. So although it wasn't the dramatic breakup where I stand my ground and tell him I deserve better... it's over. I am beginning to see a counselor to get a better insight as to why I put myself so far down this rabbit hole. Thank you everyone for your help. I'm sorry that I wasn't better at taking your advice from Day #1.
TL;DR: | Although I didn't stick to my guns, the end-result was still the same. And I'm doing okay. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [M56] dad might be cheating on my [F56] mom.
POST: My mom has cinfrinted him before and be gets mad and just ignore her for a period of time that is how he is. Mom says she doesn't feel loved. He start to get better to showing some affection towards her like he kissed her on the cheek and she asked why not on the lips and he says "why do we have to do this right now?" Mom when and got new clothes make up done and he did not say anything and it made her upset that he didn't say anything. There for a while it was sounding like my mom is just wanting attention. But she stays up crying in the night and during the day sometimes. It's literally driving my mom crazy and me and my sister are worried about her. He has sent her a text saying "hey honey" and another said "are you going to bed early?" When my mom text him back his response was I can explain that. How should my sister and I confront my dad or should we or what should we do? We want a definite yes or no if he has having an affair so we can my mom some help. Thanks.
TL;DR: | My dad has been a little fishy about things and mom is driving herself crazy thinking my dad is having an affair or not loving her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Need advice with what to do about a relationship that ended about 3 months ago
POST: So my ex boyfriend [20M] of a year and a half broke up with me [22F] about 3 months ago. I frankly have very strong feelings for him and I am unable to let go.
He says he loves me but doesn't want to be in a relationship right now with anyone, not for a long time. He still acts like my boyfriend, he still wants to have sex with me, he sees me from time to time, but he just doesn't want to be with me. He claims the problem isn't me, it's that his feelings have changed about being in a relationship.
He'd rather play video games than hang out with me; i'm a video game fan too and we do play online sometimes, but he still prefers that over seeing me.
Quite frankly, I don't know what to think. He ignores my texts sometimes and I hate making myself too available for him. I have a life of my own but I don't know if I should move on or stick around and give this a chance.
Do you think he could possibly love me but not want to be with me? I'm very confused as I don't want to waste my time on someone who eventually wouldn't want me.
TL;DR: | Should I let go of my ex boyfriend if he doesn't want to be with me but wants me in his life? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I may have already stolen something. Help?
POST: Alright so a package arrived at my house a week and a half ago. It wasn't for me-- it was for some lady whose name I've never seen before. I wrote "return to sender" on it, and left it in my mailbox, but nothing happened for 10 days.
Last night my friends and I got drunk. A friend opened the package using his drunk powers and-- oh God! -- there's an iPhone 4 inside.
I've tried everything I can to get the phone to this girl. I don't have her real address, but there was a number written on the iPhone box that I tried calling from a payphone, texting using AIM, and reverse-looking-up on White Pages. Turns out the number is not registered to anybody.
I'm considering one of two options, and I'll explain my rationale for each:
1) Keeping the iPhone. Technically, it is FedEx's fault for not obtaining a signature upon delivery. Obviously I'm exploiting some delivery guy's ineptitude, and more than likely, Apple's axe will fall on FedEx, not me. I'm certain the woman-customer will get a replacement phone from Apple, and Apple will hold FedEx responsible for the damages.
2) Calling Apple and seeing what they can do. This seems like the (mostly) morally correct thing to do, except I'm worried that it will get me in trouble, and that it might be unnecessary at this point, as a replacement phone for this woman would be on the way.
Can any of you guys lend any insight? I've already looked up a few things about Apple's tracking technology (they can't trace me if I don't use it as a phone), and about federal mailing laws (packages sent via FedEx are not protected by federal law), but what about APPLE'S policies? Are they gonna burn me if I try to contact them? Is it even worth the risk?
TL;DR: | came across an iPhone in the mail. All attempts to get it to its original owner have failed. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [Break-up] (22 M) I'm having a lot of trouble getting over my Ex (21F) after 7 months apart.
POST: After getting out of my first semi-serious relationship 7 months ago I still have strong feelings for my ex. We only dated for around 5 months. It ended because she couldn't reciprocate the same level of affection that I showed and it became apparent we weren't on the same page in the relationship.
I feel like I'm not very emotionally mature because I don't have much experience with relationships and its making me sort of depressed. I don't know how to get passed or over my feelings for her. She clearly does not feel the same way so I'm trying my best to try to leave it in the past.
Part of the difficulty lies in the fact that I over think a lot of things and often daydream of situations where it works out or sometimes noticing a few red flags before the break up. I also have to deal with a reminder of it daily because we live only a few blocks away from each other and I have to walk passed her street to get to the nearest subway station in my city.
I've tried to meet other people, if only to get over her, but I've discovered I'm not the type for flings. Additionally if I find myself liking someone in a more romantic way I also feel guilt, because if I were to move forward (hypothetically, since I haven't yet) I don't think it would be fair to them that I'm still harboring feelings for someone else.
I'm mostly worried because the "getting over it" period has lasted longer than the relationship itself and the emotions interfere with my sleep and daily life occasionally.
TL;DR: | [22 M]My ex [21F] and I broke up 7 months ago after a 5 month relationship. I still have strong feelings for her and need advice on getting over it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: (F25)Hoping for feedback from others who have experienced this..newly occurring "erectile dysfunction" with my SO(M29) - moving forward and foreplay problems..
POST: I'm hoping to get some guidance from some of you who have perhaps experienced this. *Background: my SO and I have been together for almost a year now. We both had similar intense reactions to each other from the moment we met- compatibility wise and sexually. Our relationship has been through the ringer, due extreme and unexpected circumstances (quite frankly I'm still dealing with them), but we have prevailed.* However, over the last 3 months or so, he has had problems keeping an erection. I go back and forth between taking it personally and recognizing it has nothing to do with me sexually/personally- but you know, in the heat of the moment and when its reoccurring, its hard for something so personal not to feel..personal. Sometimes I even become paranoid he is cheating or something..stupid brain. When this happens (95% of the time lately) the only way he can get off is if I realllllly work at it he can only finish with a bj. Dont get me wrong I love every part of him and will do this. But I'm still dealing with a lot of confidence and sexual issues and plus I'm super sub- so I find it hard to sort of take the lead and try to "overcome" it each time. I'm not wanting to initiate sex anymore for fear of getting "turned down" and he doesn't much for obvious reasons. I feel like I'm starting to resent him for making me "do all the work" (please take loosely, I know its love not work) and also for feeling rejected. And then I feel selfish and sad for thinking this way. And on top of this, when sex starts to be an option there is 0 foreplay for me because we don't want to loose it..so its been uncomfortable to start and takes a lot of mental forcing myself to relax.. I need foreplay. and I'm a sexual being and its our language. I feel so lost. Sorry for the novel
TL;DR: | SO having erection problems, resentment and lots of feelings, when it does happen its a rush not to loose it=0 foreplay= not very satisfactory for me |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23M] with my girlfriend [23F] of two months, kinda feel like an outsider among some of our friends.
POST: My girlfriend had a birthday recently, and to celebrate we got together with a small group of friends.Unfortunately, this situation left me feeling awkward and like something of an outsider. See, we were all friends through the first year or so of college, but then most of them went on to become RAs on campus and, suddenly becoming busy with RA duties and other things, I found myself left behind and feeling somewhat abandoned. I dealt with it at the time and moved on with life, but, as something similar had happened in my senior year of high school, it stung a bit. Now anytime that I get together with them as a group I feel like an outsider, and like there's an elephant in the room, a feeling made all the more real by the fact that they often seem to think that I was with them in some of their situations, or had an experience that was more like theirs. It just sort of leaves me standing there thinking "yeaaah, about that" My girlfriend and I have a pretty communicative relationship, and I feel like I should tell her. Just looking for input. What do you folks advise?
TL;DR: | Feel like an outsider around friends that I used to hang out with more, looking for advice on telling girlfriend (who is a part of that group). |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: (Is he [M/24] ignoring me [F/19]?
POST: I need some advice on the situation and some insight on what's going on in his mind I guess.
Last Friday, I was texting him [M/24], he says somethings that rubbed me the wrong way, and I get mad. He texts me several times over the weekend and until Tuesday but I ignore him because I was busy getting ready for a vacation and just didn't feel like talking. I leave Wednesday, barely any signal on phone where I was. Text him Friday night, no response, and text him again Monday (Today). He reads all my texts but doesn't respond. Asked him if he was mad and I'm sorry, and still no response. He knows that I was going to be gone because I told him prior to this already, so I'm not sure what's going on and why he's ignoring me. Was it because I ignored him first? What should I do? Wait around for him to text me or should I text him? Hopefully someone can help and give me some advice with this situation. Thank you in advance.
TL;DR: | Haven't talked to s/o in 9 days, was on vacation 5 out of those 9 days w/o phone signal. Come back and text him, reads texts no response. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20F] think i'm in a toxic relationship with my boyfriend. [23M] He's not the problem.
POST: I have been in my current relationship for around 6 months now. He is nearly perfect to me. This is easily the best relationship I've ever been in, and somehow, it's not good enough. Let me preface by saying I've been diagnosed with severe depression and PTSD. I have put this boy through absolute hell, and he still loves me.
I'm starting to think this is a bad thing. Our relationship is causing problems with the people in our lives, (my room mate and him don't like each other, his brothers don't like me.) I've cheated on him. He still takes me back. I honestly don't know why I do these things.
Anyway. I feel like I'm a very toxic factor in his life, and he needs to let me go. He says he needs me in his life and refuses to. I'm just at a loss here... I've never been treated this well in a relationship, and i'm not sure how to handle it.
TL;DR: | I think I'm toxic for my boyfriend, and I'm going to ruin his life. Should I break up with him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by leaving my stuff in my sister's bag.
POST: My mother is a bit paranoid and insists that I escort my sister to the airport everytime she needs to fly out (we always take cabs because we live away from home and I don't own a car), despite her being in college already.
I decide to take the opportunity to get into work early today, so I take my work stuff with me. Since my sister has 2 pieces of luggage and I offer to lug the heavier one around, I try to be efficient by temporarily storing my own bag inside my sister's large suitcase.
When we get to the airport, we have a few minutes to spare, so my sister takes the opportunity to go to the bathroom and takes her suitcases with her because she forgot which one had her toiletries. I hear the initial boarding call for my sister's flight and think "well I hope she doesn't panic and trip on the way back here" (if anyone is familiar with how inefficient some airports are, the initial boarding call is usually 30 minutes from when you actually get to start boarding). Well, lo and behold my sister really did panic, but even moreso by going straight to her gate without saying goodbye, and forgetting that my bag was in her suitcase. I figured this out after 15 minutes of waiting like a dumbass. I was about to call her, but then I remembered that my phone was also in my bag.
I was able to call my mother on a payphone to airfreight my bag to me as soon as she met my sister at the airport. Luckily it's only an hour flight, with flights every other hour.
TL;DR: | I left my work stuff in my sister's suitcase, she forgets it's there and boards her flight after going to the bathroom. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (29f) SO (30m) moved in temporarily. He's moving out soon. How to re-define expectations for this change?
POST: Here's the deal -
My SO (30M) and I (29F) had been together a few months before he moved in with me (temporarily). Under normal circumstances we wouldn't have moved in together so quickly, but his lease was up and he had a new place arranged for the fall when he is to start university again. It made the most sense for him to move into my apartment for the summer. We've been living together for three months, and everything has gone really well.
The time has now come for him to move into his new place. This was the plan all along, but I'm having more trouble than I expected with the idea of adjusting back to not living together. I can't help but feel like it's a step backwards in the relationship (although, again, under different circumstances we wouldn't have been living together at this point anyways), and it's really bumming me out.
I've talked to him about it, and he views this situation in a very straight-forward manner. He has assured me that his feelings about our relationship have not changed, but that we're just sticking to what was our original plan. For a multitude of reasons his new place makes the most sense for him with his class and work schedule, and the logical part of my brain completely understands and agrees. However, emotionally, I'm feeling sad and a bit insecure about him moving out.
Has anyone experienced this? Any tips for the adjustment? How does one go about re-defining expectations and boundaries in a healthy way with a change like this?
TL;DR: | SO moved in for 3 months, is moving out now as planned. I'm bummed out. How to re-define expectations for when we no longer live together? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by filling my car with gas before a date
POST: Happened Yesterday - I was rushing to get ready to pick up the girl (2nd date) and as I turn the car on I see that I am running low on fuel.
I go to the gas station and begin pumping gas, I use the lever thing that allows you to pump hands free. Just killing time when I hear the familiar "click" of the gas tank being full and the lever turning off.
I pull out the handle slowly (as usual) and as it comes out a bit I notice it is still pumping, but the pressure builds up and pushes the hose out and gas starts going all over; splashing my car and my jeans in the process.
I stop the handle, put it back on the pump and assess the damage. Jeans have a decent size splash on it. I use paper towels to try to dry it then use a squeegee to clean the gas from my car.
However, I am already running late. So I hit the road blasting the heater on my pants to dry them off. Unfortunately, I can still smell the gas. Fortunately, my vehicle is always prepared for almost any social emergency and I grab some cologne I keep in the glove box (don't judge me) and proceed to drown my pants with cologne to mask the gas smell.
Pick up the girl, third date, she's a very sweet girl. She remarks on the abundance of cologne smell immediately, I say I accidentally spilled cologne on myself. Feeling quite good that she hasn't smelled the gas, we continue on our date.
Fast forward to the end of the evening and we are chilling in my car kissing and such. She complains of a headache and nausea, asks if we can roll the windows down to get some fresh air. Windows down and she remarks; "so much better, I can breath. no offense but your cologne really smells like gas. Next time I see you please don't wear it. Can you take me home please."
All in all she was very polite about it... Texted her today saying hope she was feeling better. No response yet...
TL;DR: | spilled gas on myself before a date, tried to mask it with cologne, thought it worked until date felt sick and told me to take her home. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (F18) couldn't fall back asleep this morning and my boyfriend(m20) kept yelling at me so I left and now he's mad...
POST: We've been together a year. We were in bed at his house, and I could not sleep at all this morning. I woke up around 5 to pee and could not fall back asleep. My boyfriend was getting upset because I was using my phone to pass the time, and at one point said " you're done using your phone". I said sorry and tried to fall back asleep, but I just couldn't and looked at my phone again and he got mad and said he was exhausted because of me. I set it to lowest light so i wouldn't interrupt him. So I figured the best plan of action was just to head home then (7:30) so he could sleep before work and I could get ready for work at my house (2 miles away). I said "I love you and ill let you get some rest" to him and he said love you too. I think he only realized I was going till he saw my clothes on and told me I didn't have to leave.
I tried to explain that I couldn't sleep and I was just going to get ready for work early because I was up and I didn't want to keep him up. He got pretty mad, and when I was outside he shouted out the window " I can't believe you're actually leaving", and again I tried to explain to him that I'm not mad at him, I just don't want to interrupt his sleep. And he said " just lay back down for another hour". I didn't really feel like getting yelled at for another hour and not at least being productive while I was up, so I told him " I love you, I'll see you tonight!" He was just like WOWW, and shut the window. Then I get a call from him telling me to come back and saying how I can't believe you left, I didn't know how to explain it any other way :( then after I tell him sorry he texts me and tells me we're drifting apart and he'll see me *sometime*... Reddit help me understand this please .
TL;DR: | I couldn't sleep this morning so I went back to my house early so my boyfriend could sleep, but now he's angry at me and isn't accepting any explanations* |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Forced to transfer to another job location. Fight it or go?
POST: I used to work @ location A. Started at this location and was promoted twice there over a 18 month period. I was forced to move to location B; a higher volume store, which I worked less hours but made more commission. (work in sales... I make 12.75/hr and commission ranging anywhere from $400 to 2k a month). After 11 months here and decently impressive sales I'm being told I must go back to location A, because they lost a staff member. Since I left location A, it's gone to shit in sales, and I fear that I'll be making about $3-500 less a month due to commission. The only benefit I see in going back is that location A is within walking distance wheras location B is 1 hr bus ride every day back and forth. I'd probably make the same amount of hours, but I calculated the last 10 months I worked at both locations, and it was a difference of about $0.40/hr commission, and that was when the store was actually making money, and now it doesn't make 75% of what it used to. Lastly I was moved to location B to supposedly "move up in the company", and this essentially will be a demotion in both pay and position in the company (High volume store rep is valued more than a lower volume). What would u do?
TL;DR: | being told I must go to a store that I'll make less money at. The ONLY benefit I see is that it's extremely close to where I live, but everything else is a con. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24F] just broke up with my boyfriend [31 M] of 2.5 years. I don't know what to do now.
POST: Sorry for the length.
I just broke up with my boyfriend last night. I know it's not easy to get over someone, and especially right away, but I did it because I'm madly in love with him and the feelings aren't mutual and never will be. He was convinced that he was ruining my 20s and me finishing college (which would never happen).
We had a lot of fun together. He was actually the one person who would go do things with me. I didn't have to try to convince him or his friends to go do crazy shit with me. I can't even get my friends to get out of their houses most of the time.
We never argued about anything. We never had to because when we(I) had issues with something, we would sit down and talk about how to fix something. It was seemingly a very healthy relationship.
I got tired of the fact that instead of talking to me about things that were bothering him, he would stop talking to me altogether for a couple days. We never lived together and he lives almost 40 minutes from me. We only saw each other on the weekends, and even then, it wasn't every weekend. He and I both weren't happy. However, instead of being honest with himself and me, he would have kept this going in our weird sort of way I think to keep from letting himself feel lonely.
What bothers me the most about this whole situation is that even though I broke up with him, I don't know what to do because I did not want this. I've done so much thinking about this for months now that I don't want to think about it anymore. What do I do? What's the best way to get over someone you thought you may potentially spend the rest of your life with?
TL;DR: | I just broke up with the love of my life and I am tired of overanalyzing the situation. What do I do now? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28 M] with my gf [28 F], im getting married soon but things have got so awkward in the bedroom that i have a panic and lose my erection
POST: So, ive got into a little trouble. this issue has been going on for 8 months or so and I will be getting married in 5 months months and me and my gf have slowly become more and more uneasy with each other in the bedroom. we've been together for about 6 years or so.
it has got so bad that i end up losing my erection with her while we have sex. i think due to not being into it with her (sex) when this all started, now i have got some sort of panic disorder with trying to have sex with her. when we start having sex, i suddenly think about my erection problems and if im enjoying it or not, and before i know it, im having a full blown anxiety feeling of sweating and ED.
i dont know how this has come about about but i have basically become scared to have sex with my fiance. i cant just relax and have sex with her naturally. i'm constantly thinking about it and it is definitely causing a few issues between us. im worried i dont fancy her and dont want to go near her body as much as i want to go near other girls and she feels closed off and doesnt want to let me near her anymore.
what can i do to make this better? i just want to go back to the time where ED with my gf wasn't even a thing.
any advice is most welcome at this time of panic.
TL;DR: | i have become scared of having sex with my fiance and get ED lots of the time when we try and have sex. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my Girlfriend [19 F] After almost 2 years, have decided to take a break but I'm about to crack.
POST: I apologise in advance if this post isn't well structured.
So last Tuesday night my girlfriend had "the talk" with me and wanted to break things off and not end things badly with us still being friends. I proposed that we cut contact for a week as we haven't really spent more than a day or two not talking to each other.
Before we cut contact we spent about an hour together watching Brooklyn Nine Nine and it honestly was the best I felt in our relationship for a while, it made me think that all was not doomed we just needed something dire like a potential break up to help us focus on improving ourselves.
The reason she wanted to break up are things that can be fixed with counselling (I have a short temper but am not abusive and I've been looking at anger management classes as a way of getting better) and also be fixed if we plan to do things away from both of our houses (we both play computer games but different ones which means we rarely do things together online, and I also tend to ramble on about the games I'm playing a little too much).
It's currently Sunday night and I have kept a document of my feelings for the day to give her to help convey my feelings about the whole situation, there isn't anything hurtful merely reflections about subjects I've thought about and pondering on what she confessed to me when she wanted to break up. I currently feel like I am ready to finally talk to her and I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to mend this.
I do understand that she may not want be ready to talk, but once again I'm asking all of you lovely people for some advice that may either agree with me, or convince me otherwise.
I hope this is enough background to merit some help but I just want to know if I should tough the next few days out and uphold our deal, or send her a message stating that I'm prepared to fix all of this.
TL;DR: | Agreed to cut contact for a week, have 2 and a half days to go but I feel I am ready to talk to her now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Did my boyfriend (23M) really not find his past FWB (24F) attractive?
POST: Hi all. A couple days ago, my boyfriend & I got into a heated discussion regarding attraction & sex. I think that in order to have sex with someone, you have to be attracted to them, even just a little bit. My boyfriend claims otherwise.
In college, my boyfriend had a FWB situation. He insists that he never thought this girl was attractive/pretty/hot etc. However, this FWB situation went on for about a year & a half.
Personally, I think this is BS—if he was turned on enough to have sex with her, he must have thought she was attractive, right?
TL;DR: | Is it possible to have sex with someone you don't find attractive? Or is my boyfriend's claim that he didn't find this girl attractive a lie? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M23] don't want to go over my gf's [F23] house because of her dogs.
POST: I have been dating this girl for more than 5 years. This problem has only come up recently because we were away at college for the bulk of those five years. Her family has 2 white dogs. Whenever I go over, the couches, chairs, carpet, tables, everything is covered in dog hair. I have a set of clothes that I wear over there because every time I go over there I leave covered in dog hair. Sometimes you get dog hair in your mouth just from breathing.
On top of all that, the dogs behave very poorly. Jump all over you, paw at your leg.
They clean the house twice, for Thanksgiving and Easter. Other than that, the dog hair stays around.
I have done everything to avoid the place: suggest she come over my place, take her out to dinner and a movie instead of hanging out at her place, tried to think of anything not to go over there. She is starting to suggest very strongly that we hang out there. How can I address this elegantly?
TL;DR: | I no longer desire to go over the gf's house because of her dogs' behavior and family's oblivion to the dog hair. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Clothes? [M]
POST: Some time ago, I was weighing in at 215, 220 on a bad day, and had been that weight for some time. I was at a size 38, which fit comfortably most of the time, if I wasn't wearing jeans/shorts I'd wear gym shorts or sweat pants. Currently my goal for the end of school year/beginning of summer (around May. 5) is 170. If need be I'll go farther but that's my current destination. At spring break I had settled at 185 for some time (longer than I'd like to admit). My size 38's no longer fit, without a belt cinched to the last notch. I figured enough was enough and it was time to grind out the last bit. 3 weeks later I was at 177, and I won't know what I'm at again until the school year does infact end, so it'll be somewhat of a surprise. Any who, my pants, and many of shirts just don't fit anymore. The elastic, permanently stretched from the past, now hangs loosely or not at all. 38's are impossible to wear, and the lone pair of 36's I held on to, now need a belt (the last belt I have that works is on the last notch). Many of my large shirts look baggy, and XL's look plain silly. While all of this makes me happy, I'm now out 2-3 years worth of collective wardrobe. What is a cheap/reasonable way to begin collecting clothes that fit a new, slimmer me?
TL;DR: | Lost weight, 80% clothes don't fit/won't fit soon. How do I get more clothes on a budget? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit help! The one that got away.....is BACK, and i need advice.
POST: Story time kiddies, many many moons ago in a galaxy far far aww fuck that shit here goes. Quite some years ago i became head over heels for a girl, we had some great times at concerts one of which i crashed my truck on the way home, and just hanging out, we had some wild times too, but thats for another thread lol. Now my problem starts i have to choose between girl A and the Girl who eventually became my wife, but the choice wasn't given to me, girl A who i was crazy over made the choice to break it off and i did not have the bravery/courage whatever you want to call it to choose her over my future wife who i was seeing also. We stayed friends kept in contact and even had a few more nights together, before we lost contact for a few years, she got married had children, and has since now separated from the father. Moved to a town 5 mins from me, and her current boyfriend and her practice open relationships. My conundrum is the same as it was years ago i love my wife as i always have, but i cant get girl A out of my head, and i think I've been friendzoned. So what do i do, how do i handle this.
TL;DR: | Mad in love with a girl i could never tell, she got away and now she is back. What do i do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Redditors with divorced parents, i need someone to talk to.
POST: Without getting too much into the details, my parents have been in fights (really inconsistent and with varied room inbetween fights) with each other over the last two to three years, and i think they are reaching a point in which they've noticed that they might actually break up. They've been together for about 22 years, married 12, and they've always loved each other, in spite of their differences, that i can assure you, but perhaps the latest years (which have been a lot tougher than the previous ones, due to loss of jobs, bad economics, stress, you all that shit) things have just gotten worse and worse. However, what i want to talk to you about is, what happens when your parents get divorced? I mean sure, there's not a nail in the coffin about it yet, they're still sorting this out and me and my siblings are doing as much as we can to help them, but i'm talking hypothetically right now. I think i could handle it quite well, i would be a great strain on my heart to see them break up of course, but i'm 18 years-old now, and i've got a job and could if i wanted probably even afford my own place so i would'nt have to take part in the shitfest that is a divorce, but what i am concered about though, are my siblings (two at the age of twelve one boy one girl, and one at the girl at the age of sixteen) what will happen? Let's say they do break up, this would kill them, really, my sisters were crying their eyes out tonight when the parents were fighting (which in turn led to this post). I can't leave them if the divorce actually happens, no way in hell, so how do you deal with it? How do you deal with your parents breaking up? I've had to take a extremely grown-up stance in all this to comfort my sister but i'm getting torn apart inside, i don't now if i'll be man enough to take care of them, i just need someone to talk to that has been though this.
TL;DR: | Parents maybe getting a divorce, i'll live through it, my smaller siblings won't take it as well, what the fuck do i do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Recently orphaned. What is my best option in the UK for housing?
POST: I am 17 years old. My mother died when I was 13 (cancer) and my father died last Sunday (clogged valve to the lungs). I am a female. My friend said with this, I might be considered a priority but I'm unsure. I do have legal guardians, but at their location, finishing my education would be very near impossible, so they said they would do whatever they can to help me win over social services. Will I be put in a hostel? How long? I've known two people who own their own flats, and are full time students. This makes me think its not as hard as I've read so far. knocks on wood If this seems too far fetched, I am a duel citizen and can move to America with my aunt or my friend. But again, would take a toll on my education just by switching from GCSE's to high school credits. Does this seem more likely? My guardians have heard both of these plans, and both strongly support them.
TL;DR: | Recently orphaned, considering education as a top priority. Would it be wiser to seek a counsil flat in the UK, or to move in with a friend in America? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Age old question- is one lie enough to end my relationship?
POST: Here's my story.
I met my current boyfriend almost 2 years ago. We started flirting and hanging out almost immediately.
We met in a new country as we were teaching at the same school. He had left his ex girlfriend behind. They dated for 4 years and wanted to remain friends. I've been dating him for about a year and a half now, and we've recently moved to another country again to teach. We are very much in love and everything has been a fairytale until--- He told me (because he forgot he had lied about it) that he had slept with his ex when he went back home for x-mas holidays.
When he did this we were not officially an item, but we had been fooling around. He told me nothing happened and I believed him all this time, even when it came up randomly througout our time together. This time when it randomly came up, he told me that he had slept with her. He didn't cheat on me, but he lied to me.
I feel like I chose to be with him based on my knowledge that he was over his ex and didn't sleep with her when he went home to visit. I wasn't given an opportunity to make a fair decision.
I am very worried now. It seems like it was so easy for him to lie about that, now I don't know what else he's lied about.
When the trust is broken, is it broken forever?
I love him so much and really want him to be my future, but I don't want to be miserable and hold this over both of our heads for years to come either.
Am I just overreacting?
Also- he still emails his ex and she has texted him almost a year after they broke up that she is still in love with him. I have tried to be mature about this, but I'm about to lose my cool.
TL;DR: | ) my bf lied about sleeping with ex before we started dating. He didn't cheat, but he lied and now I'm not sure if I can trust him at all. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's the worst thing you've said to your parents that you didn't mean? I'll start...
POST: I'll start...
So my dad was trying to get custody of me from my mom, and so he took my mom to court. I went back to the judges chambers, and on my way there, I had to go though the courtroom. When I did I saw my mom, and my dad sitting at different tables. I also saw a TV sitting in the middle of the floor, right in front of them, which was turned of at the time. I went on back to the chambers and he told me there was a video camera in the corner of his which I could see. There was also a TV next to me, but the TV show a picture of me. So the judge asked why I wanted to live at my dads, and what I didn't like about my mom, and basically he wanted to know was "How bad was my mom a parent to me." I told the truth.
So I said EVERYTHING I could think of to say bad about my mom so that I could live at my Dad's. I talked for about 45 minutes and came out and had to walk through the courtroom again. I saw my mom bawling her eyes. I didn't really know why, until I walked past the TV and it was playing EVERYTHING I had said. I didn't know the camera in chambers was recorded and sent to the courtroom TV. If I knew that, I wouldn't have said all those things. I felt awful for a long time. It all worked out in the end where I got to live with my dad, and I still see my mom, I just wish I wouldn't have been so harsh in the chambers
TL;DR: | Dad took mom to court to get custody of me, said harsh things about mom, didn't know she could hear it all, she could hear it all, saw her crying, made me feel awful. All worked out in end. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My(32F) boyfriend(26M) traded a small problem for a really big problem...
POST: My boyfriend and I (going on 3 years) are starting to build our lives together. Neither of us came from good situations, so we're trying to make a better life for our selves. We needed a new vehicle. I had a 2003 Expedition that was starting to go, it had some body damage, but all in all ran just fine-and had AC. My boyfriend delivers pizzas right now, so the truck was costing us a lot in gas. And with it having over 230k miles, it was time to start looking into getting a different car. After some fighting, I just let my boyfriend take the reigns. Well, he sold the truck for less than he should've, and bought a little 96 eclipse that's barely running, (no ac) It broke down the first night he went back to work. We're pretty much out of money at this point, and I'm scared he's about to lose his job. I don't know what to do anymore.
I can't help but feel like if he would've just taken my advice we wouldn't be stuck in this situation. It's pointless argue now, what's done is done. But damnit, how can I fix this?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend sold our working vehicle, bought one that doesn't really work, and spent the rest of our money attempting to fix it. Halp! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [20F] boyfriend's [20M] brother [30ishM] takes advantage of him now but my BF won't do anything about it. (More inside)
POST: Bit of backstory:
His brother has a wife and 3 children and we rent a basement apartment under their home.
My boyfriend and I have some money troubles. He is the main provider because I only work part-time(our rent is really low so we don't have much cost) but my BF has a lot of debt due to school and other personal events. We use our visas a lot just to get by.
His brother is a waiter so he makes crappy money per hour but has generous tips and his wife has a stable job as well. But they are moochers. I didn't know this before we moved in.
My BF is the type to lend money or his visa to his family if they need it, but rarely gets paid back. His brother has done this many times. He also has my BF buying him cigarettes on occasion, beer, take out... It even comes to a point where they will come downstairs and take beer if they're out or milk for the kids. We have even paid for camping trips/supplies ($500) and other trips/food ($200+)
I lost it this morning when I heard them come downstairs and take cat food out of our 30$ bag and fill their container for their food.
I told my boyfriend this and got very little response. I mentioned it more about how he bought the bag but theyre just coming and taking half which is ridiculous. He got angry with me for talking about it and has stopped replying. He gets upset over money and debts but still takes this kind of crap from his family. His brother needs to stop stepping on him but my BF also needs to stand up and say no or ask for his money back.
We get in fights over money which affects our relationship and he just sits by and lets all this happen cause "they're family"
Is there anyway I could convince him to step up and say something? Any tips or thoughts you may have would be awesome.
TL;DR: | BFs brother takes money/items from him, doesn't pay back, Our money problems affecting relationship but he won't do anything about it. Help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What are the worst lyrics you've ever heard in your life?
POST: What lyrics; be it by pop star, rap group, Finnish Grind Core band, etc, that are so terrible they make your butt pucker in distaste? To me Anything by **Brotha Lynch Hung** takes the cake.
*"He gonna feel it I'm bout to peel his bananna real quick
Spit the sickness get cha dick split witness
Sicka dis shit business
I'm a put him on a hit list
Teach him about the season of da sikkness
Six six sick shit
Kreep in ya house put a gun in ya mouth
An I'm unda the house HIDIN'"*
How can you be in the house and under the FUCKING house at the same time Brotha Lynch Hung, how? Explain that to me.
Get a load of this fucking lyrical brilliance:
*"Bodies unda the couch and I ain't comin out I'm goin out dyin',
Try em undeniable I don't know I just fry em though
I come,
Hard on the face
Probly cause I don't like em
I'm a OG viking
Kris karter
I spit harder
I get farther
Put it in the butt
His daughter
Spit a nigga nut"
TL;DR: | what lyrics suck shit hard. IMO Brotha Lynch Hung. Ex: *"Spit a Nigga Nut."* |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26M] have been dating her [24F] for about two weeks. Things have been going really well, but my anxiety is through the roof.
POST: We met through an online dating service about two weeks ago, and since then we've really hit it off. We've gone on five dates in two weeks. I feel really good about her, but I also feel very anxious. I'm not used to dating going this well.
My last serious relationship ended about a year and a half ago. Since then, my dating life has not been very successful. Most of the time, I haven't gotten past date two. It really wore on me and my self-confidence.
In the past, I never really dated anyone who was on the same level as me. I have a career. I'm independent. I try to be very responsible. Every woman I've ever dated has lacked at least one of these qualities. I've always felt like I was settling.
My experience with this girl so far has been a complete polar opposite of my past experience. We have a ton of fun together. The chemistry is phenomenal. She has a career and takes good care of herself. She feels like a peer and an equal. This is something that has always been missing from my dating life.
Here's the problem: my anxiety is through the roof. I'm really afraid that I'm going to fuck this up somehow. I have spoken with my therapist about this, and it's helped a little. We have two more dates planned for this week.
TL;DR: | Have been dating a lovely girl for about two weeks, but I'm feeling a lot of anxiety. How do I relax, calm down, and just enjoy myself and her company? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: My [42F San Diego CA] Daughter [16F] doesn't want to return home after visiting Non-custodial father [42M] in Houston Texas
POST: My daughter [16F] who decided that she doesn't want to come back after a visit to her dad. I am a sole custodial parent @ 98%. Her father wasn't much around for her as much as I would like him to.
Once she turned 10, I would send her to Houston to visit her Dad. I always tell her that no matter what comes out of it he will always be her father and should love and respect him.
This year my daughter and I started having issues. She started to act out badly. She always talks back regardless of what I have to say. With no respect at all. At one unpleasant event I got so frustrated with her I said something mean which I wish I could take back. She recorded the argument when was expressing my anger and frustration and now she is using it against me. She showed Dad and said this is why I don't want to go back.
I tried to talk to her father and ask if he can help talking with her. He said, " I don't want to help you. I honestly don't give a shit about you. I'm only going to help my daughter." Basically everything I say they twist them around. Both my daughter and her father talked to me like they have been coaching each other what to say. Now all she says to me, " I hate you and your entire family." Very unfortunate she said that about being my family. my family had helped me raise her while her father had neglected her. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't be able to put a roof over both our heads.
I am expecting her return 7/16. I have a reference to a family attorney. What are all options?
TL;DR: | Daughter doesn't want to return home after visiting Non-custodial father in Texas. Father is not helping to improve the situation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24F] am in recovery from an eating disorder. My friend [24M] has made some triggering comments without realizing it. Not sure what to do.
POST: I've had an eating disorder for over a decade- not that it matters, but it's anorexia. I don't mean to sound flippant I'm not scary thin and on the outside, I think I look very "normal" and like I have an athletic body. I'm recovering from a very recent relapse and I'm doing ok.
I'm also a runner, and running has honestly saved me from falling into the depths of anorexia. Today I had a long run on the schedule, and due to my knee problems, I only ran 12 miles instead of 16. I was crushed. I was hanging out with friends, including Matt, and told them all this, and they all told me I was crazy, that 12 miles is celebratory enough.
Shortly after that, I was starving and had the biggest cookie and something to the effect of being so hungry due to my mileage. Matt said, "but you didn't run 16! You only ran 12 so you shouldn't be having the cookie!" I found it so triggering I wanted to spit it out of my mouth. Matt and I joke around a lot about tons of topics including food, but sometimes I'll find his joking remarks triggering, even when he's saying something as simple as "How did you eat that much at breakfast?! You are a beast!"
A large part of me feels like this is my problem. It's my disorder and there will always be people making triggering comments. Matt and I are friends, we text and go out for food or drinks, but we're not super emotionally close. I tell almost no one about my disorder and I would be embarrassed to tell him.
To be clear, I am in no way angry at Matt for these comments: he does not know about my disorder. He is also a really nice guy and means absolutely no harm. But does anyone have any advice, either in terms of what I should do with regards to Matt and/or how I can internally deal with triggering comments?
TL;DR: | recovering anorexic of over a decade. My friend makes triggering comments. Almost no one knows about my disorder. I don't know how to handle this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Am I a bad person?
POST: Recently I started dating a girl that I was friends with in High School, she means a lot to me, but there was one huge problem with it. She dated my *best* friend for two years while we were in high school (she is one year behind us). When she moved away for college she broke up with him. We had continued to be friends chatting on face book and hanging out when we were both home. This summer after opening up to each other we decided to start dating. We both knew this would create problems because she is the ex and I am the *best* friend. The next day I went over and let him know that we had decided to start dating. He gave me some very light hearted words and didn't truly tell me what he thought. That evening my girl friend got an email from him blowing up about the situation. After bashing me and her I confronted him about it and he again wouldn't really tell me what he thought. Now that school has started again I moved out to my apartment for college and he is back in our hometown doing community college. We had a few more meetings before I left and he played it off. Am I a bad person for putting him through this?
TL;DR: | I am dating my best friend's ex girl friend, a year after they broke up, am I a bad person? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Please help: My uncle [Late 30s, M] and his fiancee [Early 30s, F] are about to fall apart right before their wedding. Religious issue.
POST: This isn't for me, but a relative of mine whom I'm very close to. (Context, everybody is asian here) My uncle has been picking up meditation and recently had an out of body experience. Both of them are incredibly sweet and understanding people, and they've been in a relationship for quite a few years, I think around 2-4? However, the fiancee and her family are devout Christians, and she's terrified of the experience my uncle had. As I'm told, she and her parents are afraid that my uncle is going to join some sort of cult. (To make things worse, my other uncle just shaved his head while he was on vacation in Peru.) After she'd been crying for a week, the fiancee and her parents met with my uncle and her parents and talked it out. It ended with an ultimatum: her, or his meditation. She doesn't want anything to do with it.
I think it was INCREDIBLY selfish of her to do so, but at least this issue came to a head before the wedding. What can I do to try to bridge this gap? The fiancee and her family just have this incredibly antiquated "anything not christian is the devil" viewpoint and are terrified of all this meditation stuff. I've posted in /r/meditation, but I think this is an issue that sort of goes beyond that context.
TL;DR: | My uncle had an out of body experience while meditating, devout christian fiancee is terrified and issues an ultimatum. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I am kinda forced by an old lady to read a book that isn't interesting to me?
POST: So I was at this dinner party with my parents and their friends, and, having nothing better to do as one of the few minors there, I continued reading the Hobbit. It was maybe a few chapters later that an old lady approached me, she was our hostess' mother. She asked what book I was reading, and we started talking. She seemed really into books. She asked if I knew Dick Francis, I said no, and she then proceeded to take a book off of a nearby shelf. She gave me 'Risk', by Dick Francis, to borrow. Because I'll see them again in a few days, she says that I can keep it till then to finish. Then she walks away, old-woman like. I started reading, it isn't too interesting, and I really don't want to spend my time reading this book, but I am forced to as she clearly borrowed me the book to read! What should I do, advice redditors? And please don't just say "read it, you dong", I've already considered it.
TL;DR: | Old woman borrowed me a boring-ish book, I am forced to read it before a few days, what should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [23/m] New girlfriend(?) [23/f] is giving me mixed signals, but I may just be crazy.
POST: Hey guys! I recently started dating this wonderful girl a couple weeks ago. From our first date we had some AMAZING chemistry, and when on dinner dates our food gets cold because we get so into the conversations. After our fourth date, things got physical. After that we both really opened up and had a talk, in which I tried to DTR (define the relationship). We both agreed that we adore each other already, that our relationship was definitely shaping up to be special, and she said that of all the guys she has been dating recently, I'm the only one she can picture having a relationship with.
She completely dodged my DTR, wondering why an 'amazing guy' like me would ever go for a girl like her. (Which is funny, because I feel the exact way about her.) If what she told me is true, I'm wondering why she was so hesitant to try the relationship out.
As far as I know, we're exclusive. I have my sights set on her right now. I have no idea if she's seeing other guys though, which is a problem.
She is a very busy girl (law grad school) but I've noticed she can take forever to reply to texts, and it's always me who is initiating dates and plans.
Something smells fishy to me here. I really like this girl. I really want a true relationship with her, but some things aren't adding up! Help me, reddit. Am I trying to leap into this too soon, or am I onto something?
TL;DR: | Girl flatters me with tons of compliments but dodges DTR. Doesn't seem to be on the same page as I am. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Manager baited me into shouting match then fired me. Next day owner called me in and gave me my check and says he is keeping me on payroll for 6 months.
POST: Manager baited me into an altercation with him. This is second time I have had a run in with him. Last time I had to sign a warning letter that if it happened again I would be terminated. When I got baited into an argument I fell for it and wound up shouting at him. I was terminated by email and phone call I got that night at the house.
Next day the owner of the company called me and asked me to come by and pick up check and said he wanted to talk. This guy has seen me come in at least 45 min early every day before anyone and usually work 30 min over for 4 years. He knows I have done things for his small company that no one else there could ever have done. Things like design a new website (which I did free on my own time at home), set up online advertising and lots of SEO work. This was all on top of my main job that kept me busy all day long.
He tells me because the situation happened in front of a lot of other employees and because I signed the first warning that if it happened again I would be fired, he just couldn't do anything different. He had to back up the manager and leave me terminated. He said he knew and appreciated the passion I had for the company to grow and succeed. He said I was going to be impossible to replace and he considered me indispensable. He then leaned in and hugged me and said he was leaving me on the payroll for 6 months and if I needed anything, references, calls to other companies or whatever he would do anything he could.
The guy was great to work for. Even though it sucks to lose the job and I'm mad I'm not there anymore. I am super happy I can work on finding something and not have to scramble or accept something that sucks just to have an income coming in.
TL;DR: | Fired by manager who baited me into shouting match. Next day owner of company calls me to pick up check and says he is keeping me on payroll for 6 months because he appreciated my hard work and dedication to his company. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [23F] name was left off my mentors [25-29F] published journal article.
POST: Starting in Spring 2014 I began working in a lab on our campus. I was working directly under a graduate student on her thesis. She was a brilliant mentor to have and I consider myself very lucky to have been working so close with her.
Another undergrad and I worked together almost everyday on her project. Our mentor and us had a verbal contract that we would put in about 20 - 30 hours per week and would write a small script to help with her analysis. In return, if her paper got accepted into a journal, we would be co-authors of the paper.
She graduated with her MA and is now at a Ph.D. program out of state. We haven't had much contact besides a few emails and some facebook stalking. Her paper just recently got published. My name was the only one from our lab group not on the paper.
The situation is what it is. It's already in press (i.e. - accepted by the journal article and online, but not published in the journal - waiting on formatting). So there's no changing it. But it is a blow to my academic resume/CV. I plan on either doing my Ph.D or getting a job in research once I am done with my MA. I was counting on using my co-authorship from this paper as a springboard to help land me a job/spot in a Ph.D program.
Should I confront my former mentor? Ask her why she left my name out? How would I go out about asking her without it sounding forceful/entitled? I would still like to have the option to work with her in the future. So maintaining a professional demeanor is important here.
TL;DR: | Asked to work on graduate thesis project in return for co-author on published paper - paper is now published, I am not a co-author |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my friend [24 F], how can I explain to her why my girlfriend [24 F] doesn't want me to meet with her alone?
POST: So I have this friend, let's call her Alice, I met her in my final year of high school and she's an uninteresting girl who doesn't have any friends. I don't really like meeting up with her because I don't have anything in common with her so I try to meet up with her as little as I can but I always agree to meet out of pity for her because she doesn't have anyone else and she tries to text me a lot sadly. Well, my girlfriend is not comfortable with me always meeting her alone and so I told my friend Alice that I don't want to meet with her alone anymore because my girlfriend is uncomfortable and she got really angry about it saying "I thought we were friends. If 2 adults can't even meet then I will make my conclusions from it."
Now, how can I make her understand that my girlfriend's feelings are more important to me than her? Even if there is nothing to be uncomfortable about, I'm not going to make my relationship more difficult to meet with this boring friendless girl who only whines about her gradschool work to me and how she doesn't have a boyfriend.
TL;DR: | how to make someone understand that my girlfriend's feelings are more important to me so I'm not meeting with her anymore? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I [21 M] break up with girlfriend [21 F]
POST: I've been in a relationship (mostly long distance for 2 years) and recently I found out my girlfriend has been lying to me for months. She has known how I was lied to in a previous relationship and yet she still did it. The lying was pretty much her making excuses of coming to see me and lying what she was up to.
She's been begging for forgiveness and promising she won't ever do it again but this all has just made me so numb to everything. Anyways I know I need to break up with her it's just I obviously still have feelings for her and everytime I tell her we need to move on and I'm breaking up with her she just begs and cries and I pussy out. So how should I go about ending this. I don't want to be with her anymore even though I still love her because I don't want to have to worry every day she will lie to me again. But I obviously still have feelings for her which I know will never completely go away.
I've tried to just end it and cut off communications but she just makes me feel so guilty doing it. Any advice is really appreciated, I just don't know how to end this without feeling guilty and feeling like its a big mistake.
Feel free to ask for any more clarification and thanks to all those who respond!
TL;DR: | Girlfriend lied to me, it's been hard breaking up with her after what we use to be. Don't know how to breakup with her since I can't seem to fully go through with it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [15/m] am at a loss with my [15/f] girlfriend
POST: I'm on my mobile so please have patience, I don't really know where else to go so I think you guys can give me some advice.
At the beginning of the school year this girl become rather close to me. We started going out, and ended up having a seven month relationship.
We flirted about having sex when texting but it was always innocent (this contributes later). We had never really seen each other outside of school, which is fine, I just thought that you know she wasn't out of that immaturity phase. Over December break our texting become much more sexual, so much to the point where we sexted many times a day. The day before we got back to school, the messages were very heated. Her parents found out and have hated me ever since. They told her not to go out with me or even talk to me, but she didn't listen to them. So from then on we haven't seen each other outside of school since. I had asked her over and over to talk to her parents, to let them know her feelings. She wouldn't and it got to the point where I was extremely depressed and caused us to break up. We got back together and everything was fine until my birthday four weeks ago when they found out we were dating.
Last week I started acting depressed again, her parents are threatening to make her take virtual school or home school her. This scares me because this means I would have no contact with her whatsoever. I eventually told her all of my concerns last Thursday, she then told me that she wants her parents respect back and can't deal with me. She broke up with me and I'm just lost. I want to help her with the problem and try to talk to her parents but now she won't even talk to me. I only have two weeks left until summer and I'm scared.
TL;DR: | Ex girlfriends parents hate me and don't trust her, I still love her and want to try to make things right but she's avoiding me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Pets
TITLE: Does anyone know of alternatives to knee surgery for an injured dog?
POST: I have a 12 year old golden retriever who has a number of leg issues. She has arthritis in her hip, sciatica, and unstable knees. A couple of days ago she seemed to blow out one of her knees and was stumbling all over the place, in obvious pain.
She was taken to an emergency vet (this was on Sunday) and the vet said that although she had probably torn a ligament in the one leg, it was her other leg that seemed to be giving her more pain. The vet suggested that surgery was a possibility, but given her age and other mobility problems, it was unlikely to be a success. The emergency vet said that we should have our own vet come to the house to have a look at her, but that we should start thinking about what is best for the dog (ie. have her put down).
I live away from home (though relatively nearby), so my parents called me to tell me what had happened and so I've come to see the dog. The vet is coming tomorrow afternoon to have a look at the dog, but my parents seem to think that the best course of action may be to have her put down.
I can handle having the dog put down if that's the best thing to do, but it's hard to accept given that she seems to still be of perfectly sound mind, and in fine health other than the severely limited mobility (and sciatica, and arthritis).
So what I'm asking is, does anybody have any experience with dog knee issues? Is there anything that can be done? I've heard of dogs with "wheelchairs" before, but I don't know anything about it. I've been reading about "conservative treatment", aka mobility limitation, which seems to have some success, though often with younger dogs. Apparently, a good rehabilitation for dogs is swimming - though our pool is frozen over and will be for months to come. Do braces help?
Any information that you can give me, positive or otherwise, would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | 12 year old dog blew out her knee, vet suggestion seems to be to have her put down. I can accept this if this is best for the dog, but what other options are there? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's the most awkward thing that has happened to you while you were trying to do something nice for someone?
POST: A couple of years ago I had a roommate whose girlfriend regularly stayed over. She had a small dog that she would often bring with her. I came home from work one day and no one was home except for this dog. Having no idea how long my roommate and his girlfriend had been gone I decided to take it upon myself, being the GGG that I am, to take the dog for a walk just in case it needed to go to the bathroom. We get about half way around the block and i notice some lady standing on her porch. She says hello and we exchange formalities, lovely day, what have you... I get ready to start walking again and just as I look back to say "lets go", I noticed the dog maneuvering into the "I'm going to take a shit now" stance in the middle of the sidewalk. Before I can do anything the dog proceeds to spray diarrhea all over it. I look at the dog, and then to the sidewalk, and then to the woman. I give her a kind of half shrug thing, all the while thinking how the hell am I going to clean this up, and god damnit, this isn't even my dog. Luckily the lady starts laughing and heads for the hose. I apologized profusely and she tells me not to worry about it and comments on how red my face got. I took the dog home and never walked it again.
TL;DR: | Took roommate's GF's dog for a walk to be nice. Dog projecdiarrheas in the middle of the sidewalk while i'm chatting with the owner of the house it happened in front of. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is my Ex-girl(f)riend lying to (m)e about her pregnancy?
POST: So we broke up a few months ago, and I got a message from her saying that she was late for her period. She has been wanting to get back together with me for a while, but just to be safe, I listened to her and believed her because better safe than sorry and I wanted to care about this situation and get it fixed asap.
Fast forward 11 enduring weeks of me trying to get her to make an appointment, and she constantly refuses saying that she made her decision. Of course, knowing her personality, she would regret it and her parents would be extremely not ok with this. But I figured it was her hormones and made her finally make an appointment on her 12th week to go to an abortion clinic. She agreed and "went" on the day (I agreed to go and insisted but she said we were broken up and that she had to go alone). Me thinking that I should do what makes her comfortable, agreed.
Now, its about 17/18 weeks, and we hadn't talked to each other in a while. Suddenly, she pops out of nowhere in summer near a college where I am working, and surprises me. I ask her why she came, and she claims its for another reason. We ensue in a small argument, and she ends up sobbing. I leave her thinking I shouldn't keep comforting her like we've been going out. Later that day, I receive a message from her saying "see you later, daddy". I go to find her and call her constantly in fear, and eventually meet with her.
That night, we talk, and I find about lies that she's been telling me. She claims that she went to go get an abortion, and that the abortion was somehow unsuccessful when she went to her pediatrician a couple weeks ago when they showed her an ultrasound (she brought a computerized copy of it which idk i should believe is true).
she claims it was because the place was a shady place but it contradicts her hormonal behaviors and physical pains the day after the abortion 5 weeks ago.
TL;DR: | is this a stunt by her to get back with me and get my attention? Or did she not get an abortion at all? Or was her previous abortion really just unsuccessful? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Thought a girl liked me, turns out she didn't, now she won't talk to me. Any advice?
POST: So basically I met this chick during work and she started acting like she liked me. She'd always glance at me and smile when we saw each other, she'd come visit during work, text me until 2am, and call me "sexy", "beautiful", and she'd call me her boyfriend. She was the one that wanted to give me her number, and the first text she sent me was "Hello sexy."
Alright. So I started talking to her, and she said she just liked me as a 'bestie', and she's been talking to another dude for like 8 months. Now she pretty much avoids me and doesn't even text me back, saying her phone is 'broken'. I was thinking of asking her if we're cool, or would that be a bad idea?
TL;DR: | I liked a girl, she acted like she liked me back, now she doesn't talk to me after I asked her out. Whut do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Creative type. Two advanced degrees. Need a new job.
POST: First, I am working. I'm teaching English to (mostly) wealthy students from other countries who've come to the U.S. to go to the nearby university.
But, I hate it.
Well, I don't hate it. I love my students and my coworkers, but each day, I wake up and wish I could just stay in bed.
I know it sounds like I'm lazy, I know, I do, but I'm not. I'm actually very hardworking (I have two advanced degrees). I think I'm tired of teaching (which I've been doing for almost four years). I give a lot to my students and it wipes me out. I am mentally exhausted by the end of the day. No time left for my own creative endeavors.
Also, I like to produce. I like to make things. I'm not especially gifted at working with my hands (as evidence, see anything I've ever tried to build), but I do enjoy working on projects, especially with teams. I like to put my all into a project, but with teaching there's almost no production, beyond quizzes. I want to make things, like I said.
My question: Are there any careers out there, for an advanced English scholar? Or do I have to create my own? I've scoured the internet (job sites, journalismjobs, higheredjobs, etc) looking for new careers, but I'm just coming up empty.
TL;DR: | Creative type. Two advanced degrees. Need a new job. Are there any creative, teamwork-centered work environments that I'm just missing out on? Am I searching wrong? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: Should I be worried about my 3 years old niece behaviours?
POST: I live with my sister and my 3 1/2 years old niece in my parents' house. My niece is a sweet kid. She is smart and social, and very stubborn. Sometimes I worry that she seems to be too sensitive. She has some behaviours that I'm not sure if they are normal for her age or if are signs of something going on.
1) She has been going to kinder garden for the past two years and despite some bites from other kids, she has never had problems. Up until last year she would refer to the other kids as friends, and would come home telling how she spent the day playing with them. For the past months, though, she tells she's been playing by herself. The other day they had an activity that involved clowns and she when I asked why she played by herself she said it was because she doesn't like clowns. The next day, though, she just preferred to play alone, for no good reason.
At home, however, she makes everyone to play with her because she doesn't like to play alone.
I already asked her if her friends are being mean to her and she said no.
2) She pisses and poops on the floor for no good reason. She is potty trained, but every other day she does her business on the floor and blames her toys or says she did it because she is the dog.
Today my sister asked her why she pooped on the floor and she said she didn't know.
When she pees in her pants she says she couldn't hold it, but when she does it on the floor or carpet (and once on my bed) she knows it's wrong and does it anyway.
Should I be concerned that there is something going on with her or is this normal behaviour at her age?
(also sorry for grammar mistakes, English is not my first language)
TL;DR: | Niece plays by herself at kinder garden and poops on the floor. She doesn't know how to explain her reasons. Should I worry or is this normal? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Woodforest, where I bank, gave me the information to someone else's account when I called Customer Support.
POST: After trying to log in to online banking several times over the course of about a week and continually getting the message "Your account has been disabled" I decided to call customer service and see what I could do.
After giving the agent my SSN and account number, he asked for the username I normally use to log in. I gave him the username I have been using for more than six months to successfully log on, which is a combination of my first and last name. He says that there is no registered account with that username, and instead says that I am registered under a username that was a combination of my first name and a series of numbers. I thought this was very odd, but didn't think that I could be getting the wrong information (my name is uncommon) and figured instead that there was a messed up file or something over there.
He proceeds to email me a temporary password after additional verification, and after changing the password as required I noticed that I was logged in under someone else's account, and had full access to the funds therein.
I mean, I could transfer or deposit money if I was dishonest. I could have taken every penny of that guy's money. I would think that would be a pretty serious security infraction by a national bank.
Anyways, reddit, what should I do? I haven't made any calls here and am sitting at a loss. Obviously I won't take any money (duh) but between calling Woodforest again, calling a lawyer, etc. I have a lot of options available.
TL;DR: | Woodforest gave me some other dudes info and I have full access to his funds. Want to find out how to best press charges / dissolve the situation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Pets
TITLE: Adopted by neighborhood cat, what do?
POST: So one of my neighbors has a thing for rescuing cats, last count put the number of cats at about 7 but one of the cats has "left" home a number of months ago and according to the cat lady, it no longer goes to her house to eat because of all the other cats she has.
Over the past few months its been seen fairly regularly in our front yard(rocks with a lot of bushes and shrubs) but as of about the last week or so, it has been hanging out here far more consistently and it meows incessantly at me and family members whenever we step out front.
Behaviorally, it's just like any other outdoor cat except that it'll now routinely let us pet it until its been fed. Like he'll walk up to us if we sit down on our walkway and start rubbing its sides against our legs and headbutting our hands so we'll pet it, purring occasionally. This usually carries on until we offer it food(chicken and/or tuna mostly) and once it eats, it'll run off for a better part of the day and come back in the evening. Also, it hasn't really tried following us inside or anything. If we do get up and walk away, it'll just sit there until we go inside/leave or sit back down and call to it.
I'm just looking for tips and some advice on what to do with the cat because its clear its not getting its needs met by its owner but I'm still a little apprehensive about feeding it because the cat technically doesn't belong to me and there's the matter of ownership and all the legal issues that might arise.
TL;DR: | Someone else's rescue cat isn't getting it's needs met and has been looking to me to feed it and give it attention. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My sister (21/f) converted for her boyfriend and now they are engaged.
POST: My sister got engaged a few days ago and I am not happy for her at all. Her fiance is Baptist and my sister decided to "convert" for him a while back in their relationship. I say "convert" because I don't think she is officially apart of their church.
The thing is, my sister was a proclaimed atheist before they got very serious.When I asked her why she was switching over to Christianity, she just said that she was lost and it helped her somehow. I said why not another religion and she told me that she looked into them but Christianity was the best for her. She couldn't tell me why though. I am all for spiritual guidance, but it was obvious that her boyfriend had something to do with it. I decided to have a conversation with this guy.
Some of the things he said:
"I could not marry your sister if she was not Christian"
"You're family is messed up because you don't have God in your home"
These are some of the gems that stuck out to me and I can't get them out of my head. My sister wants to marry this guy! No one on my side of the family approves, he is not even allowed inside our house. They are also moving in together and when I asked her how she was going to pay rent she said that she was "going to work at a bar or something". She does plan on graduating sometime in the future.
I am so worried for my older sister. I don't want to lose her, but at the same time I already feel like she is such a completely different person. What should I do/not do?
TL;DR: | older sister converted to be with her now fiance and no one in my family approves and/or is happy for her or likes the fiance. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (21/m) don't know if I should continue trying with (21/f)
POST: So, I met this girl through friends a couple weeks ago. We went for dinner once and I paid then we went back to her place and watched a movie with her room mates afterwards. At the end I asked her out to a concert and she said yes. The day of the concert she tells me that her room mate and a guy friend would also like to go and asked if I minded. I said sure, not wanting to look like an asshole. Then I go to pick them up and it ends up that the guy bailed. The night ended up being a total bust and there was absolutely no flirting between us. Now I asked her to go out and she says it will have to wait a couple of weeks for valid excuses which is fine because I will also be fairly busy for a couple weeks too. Also it should be noted that we live in different cities about 30 minutes apart but I have a car I don't mind the drive. I am quite taken with her and would like something more to come of it, but I'm concerned that we never spend that much time alone together. Should I continue to pursue her?
TL;DR: | Met a girl, been on a few dates don't seem to get much time away from her friends. Won't be able to see her again for a couple weeks. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Male [23] with girlfriend [20] together for 1 year, with 6 month break but are back again for 5 months. Found out she has been messaging other guys sexual things. Need advice.
POST: Basically, the other night when she was showing me something on her Twitter she accidentally went to her messages, me being a guy noticed someone messaged her something about boobs and instantly went to "wtf is. That mode" she then hid her phone until I convinced her that I needed to see what these guys were saying. Well come to find out there was 2 guys both asking for nudes and stuff, she didn't send them any to my knowledge but did give her number so I'm not to sure what they talked about from text. One guy however that she was talking to said that he wanted to do it, but was states away and she said come here, and I like it rough, and even flirted about marriage and having his kids. This right here is what devastated me, ( side note these were sent 2 months ago) we have been looking for a house together and also both have said that we want to spend the rest of our lives together, I have always trusted her, but she on the other hand is really controlling and always thinking that I am going to cheat on her, when I don't even text or talk to other girls. So when I found out she is doing the exact thing she thinks I'm doing I am just confused furthermore I am having trouble letting go of this issue and really finding it hard for me to give my trust to her again.
TL;DR: | found out my girlfriend has been messaging guys on Twitter about having sex, but they are from different states. I am having a hard time letting go and just confused as to why she would do that. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it weird for me [20M] to do cutesy romantic shit with a fuckbuddy [19F]?
POST: Shouldn't need too much explanation, really. I'm a fuckbuddy with this girl because I don't desire the responsibility of a bf/gf relationship and can't see myself committing myself to one girl.
But, aside from the fucking, I like to do a bunch of cutesy shit too with her. I like to cuddle, and play with her hair, and hold hands when we walk together. I usually kiss her goodnight on the lips gently when saying goodbye. etc. All that cute stuff you see couples do.
I don't want to see this relationship go ANY further than this. Is it weird or creepy to do stuff like this? She hasn't raised any complaints to it, so I don't think she minds.
TL;DR: | Is it weird or creepy to do cute stuff with someone you have no desire of having a real, formal relationship with? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By Telling An Annoying Person who my friend likes
POST: So I have this friend who is going out with a girl. Lets name them F for friend, G for girl and L for loser. Now, I told L who my friend likes because an Xbox live party was glitching and I didn't see him in it. I then expanded the details like a complete idiot. L wanted to know if G was hot or not so I sent him a pic off of fb. He then proceeds to share this with the whole party. Now F is tweeting a girl I like who has a bf at the moment that I love her
TL;DR: | I told a loser who my friend liked and my crush will know I love her soon. I await to have my butt kicked by her bf. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [20F] long distance with my [21M] boyfriend. Close to breaking up but staying together for now, question about how often we Skype?
POST: We've been together for just over 9 months now, and 6 of those months have been long distance. We'll be permanently in the same town starting in August. We almost broke up a week and a half ago because he felt I was being too clingy (which I totally was), because I texted him basically all day and we Skyped for 3+ hours a night.
We decided to stay together, but with the mutual understanding that we don't need to devote 100% of our time to each other. From my end, this means I've stopped texting him constantly and only expect to Skype 3 or 4 times a week instead of every night.
However, he has asked me to Skype every night for the past 8 days (since we had the convo). I haven't brought it up or asked him to Skype at all, but I always say yes if he asks me. I guess I'm just confused that he said he wanted more time to himself and that the amount we talked was exhausting, yet he is the one asking to Skype all the time? Should I bring it up to him, or should I just go along with it since he seems to want to talk a lot?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend says we spend too much time talking, yet he is the one always asking me to get on Skype for hours every night. |
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