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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Men(16M) looking for advice on first relationship, and how to express feelings
POST: Hey /r/Relationships I've been having casual conversation for a while now with a girl that I really like. I have been working up the courage to tell her how I feel for a while now, but I am afraid that it will come across awkward.
I never felt afraid of being rejected however I do fell anxiety when I think about asking her out, I've always considered myself and outspoken person and someone who Is used to talking with girls on a friendship level. However I seem to have a mental block when It comes to talking with this girl.
I should also say that because of my age some people will think I'm just interested in her for sex, which maybe partly true, but I don't see it as that. I see a lot of people around my age who appear to just be "going out" together because they can, like you would expect normal teenagers to do. However I view her as some one who I can trust and lean on, I think it also comes from a wanting for someone who likes me other than my family.
TL;DR: | Any advice on how to open up to her and how to handle these feelings or any general advice you can come up with it would be greatly appreciated. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24M] with my GF [23F] few months, she feels she may be asexual/heteroromantic and I am not. Looking for input from asexuals/heteroromantics.
POST: I've been seeing a girl for a few months, met online, really hit it off. She's never been in a relationship before, nor has she had sex. She is on antidepressants and is in therapy, has some emotional issues. She's been 100% open with me about everything,
We've fooled around a little in the past, but she told me she wanted to take things slow so we haven't done much. Which is fine, I like her a lot and dont mind waiting.
Last night we had a chat and she told me that she thinks she may be asexual. She enjoys cuddling and kissing to some extent and says that she has feelings for me. She's also said that the idea of sex makes her very anxious. She isn't sure if she's ever going to be interested in sex.
So our conversation led to whether or not we should be dating, given that there may be a possibility sex may never happen. I really like this girl and I'm considering staying in it. But the possibility that it would only ever be a romantic relationship is difficult to come to terms with.
I'm not an overly sexual guy, but I do enjoy sex and sexual intimacy and see it as part of a relationship that i'd like to have.
So to the aces/heteroromantics or people who used to identify as such out there, did any of you think you were asexual and then came to realize that maybe you weren't?
Have any of you been in a relationship with a heteroromantic? How did it work out?
TL;DR: | Seeing a girl who is anxious about sexuality, thinks she may be asexual, looking for input from people in similar situations. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 21 F, my ex [21 M] cheated on me 2 days into relationship after 4 months of casual dating, now wants to make it right but doesn't want me in his life
POST: This is my first post ever so sorry if it's not up to par...
I met this guy over the summer, I thought things were going really well. We clicked instantly, he was crazy about me and I was crazy about him but he was always hesitant about being exclusive. We finally decided to be exclusive and he cheated on me 2 days later. At first I wanted nothing to do with him and he wanted to still stay friends while he "fixed himself". Now, a week later, after we spent two days together that I thought were great, he said he has no feelings for me and doesn't want me in his life.
He wants to "make it right" for treating me so terribly and being an asshole but I don't know what will make it right. Is there anything that people have done in the past that gives them closure? The only thing I can think that would make it right is to date me but he doesn't want that and I don't really either.
TL;DR: | Started dating, he cheated after 2 days, now wants to make it up to me but doesn't want me in his life |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do I create the Star Wars opening crawl [UUUUrgent]
POST: Hey reddit,
you are my last hope. My cousin celebrates her birthday this evening
and she is a huuuuuuge Star Wars fan. Last night we thought it would be really cool to make a personal opening crawl for her, so I went to good old google and did not think this should be much of a problem....
But it turns out every tool or link I found is either out of date or not online anymore. When I found the official "opening crawl creator" on the Star Wars Website I though "Yes, jackpot" but as it turns out it is down since several months ( ). I would REALLY appriciate your help!
TL;DR: | Does any of you splendid people know of an easy (and fast) way to create the opening crawl of Star Wars with an own text? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what is the most weirdest dream you have ever had? I'll start!
POST: It started with me driving to the lake we usually go fishing in, we arrive (My brother and I), and we pushed the boat from shore.
So now were fishing and i get a nibble, it did'nt feel like it was a very big fish, but i pull it in anyway, gradually it feel's heavier and heavier, when it get's to the boat, it's so heavy i was afraid the line would break, but it doesn't, we pull the thing in, and it turns out to be my girlfriend, at this point i'm like WTF?!??!?!
So anyway, she alive and all, and the dream just cut's out, next thing i remember is, us running our ass'es off, being chased by a giant blob.
We end op in a random house, and we start having sex.
Then the dream cut's again and i'm being chased by an angry mob of people, then the dream cut's once again.
At this point i'm old, and on my deathbed yet i'm happy, then the heart moniter stops, and i'm dead.
TL;DR: | Go fishing, Cought GF, Chased by blob, Sex in random house, Chased by mob, Deathbed... |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I (19F) be concerned about my SO's (22M) drinking?
POST: To put this as simply as possible, my SO is extremely experienced when it comes to sex. He's lost track of his partners because before he met me, he would go out every weekend and get blackout drunk and sleep with people. His guess would be around 20-25 people, whereas I've been with 3 partners including him. This past weekend he went out with a few friends and got blackout drunk for the first time since we started dating. The next morning, he woke up and said he didn't remember a thing. This really concerns me, and I think you know why. If he doesn't remember a thing, anything could have happened and I would never know.
Background info: We've been dating for about three months and things have been moving along very intensely and we're very much in love, but we're just waiting for the right time to say it.
Should I be concerned? I asked him repeatedly what happened that night and he kept saying he doesn't remember. I believe him, but I'm just not sure what else to think at this moment. How else can I handle this situation without seeming like a controlling bitch?
TL;DR: | BF has a long past of one night stands whenever he gets drunk. He got drunk this past weekend and doesn't remember a thing. Should I be worried? What can I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my fiancée [30F]. Wants to get rid of dogs and signed mortgage without my name. Update.
POST: Hi reddit again,
I am listening to your advice and my friends advices. I talked to a counsellor and they did give me some advice on how to deal with this issue, and basically told me to either bring her to couples counselling or tell her that I don't want to be treated like a doormat. I do not know what the next steps I should do next though?
I plan to talk to my mother later tonight to prepare her for the worst outcome. I then plan to send my fiancée a text telling her to meet me at a Starbucks to have the talk. Or do you think it would be better to involve her parents too? Maybe her parents can see the abuse she subjected me to?
TL;DR: | fiancée signs mortgage without my name on the form. Expects me to pay rent. And get rid of both her two dogs and my dog. Need advice on next step. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: Zyrtec? Claritin? Allergy help needed!
POST: My dog has very, very frustrating allergies that we are continuously battling. We gone to the vet many times - I'm just looking into other things to try to help combat the issues.
She has definite food allergies, but after the process of elimination, we think this new allergy outbreak is environmental. (We recently moved to a new state).
We've tried Benadryl with her many times, and unfortunately it does not help her at all. I've heard some other people say the same thing, so I'm thinking about trying a different allergy med, such as Zyrtec or Claritin. I'm posting here in hopes of learning a bit more about these meds, because I've personally never tried them, and I always get a bit paranoid about using new meds with my girl.
A bit more info: My dog is 145 pounds, and her biggest allergy issue at the moment is constant hives, and a deteriorating coat condition. :/ (We're using special shampoos, supplements, etc to help her skin, so the hives are our biggest concern, at the moment) Thankfully she doesn't normally seem itchy.
TL;DR: | Do you use Zyrtec or Claritin for your dog with allergies? Does it seem to work? Has anyone ever noticed a side effect? Any dosing advice would be helpful, as well! |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: Cheap European cities for October visit?
POST: I thought I would never make one of these itinerary posts but here we are, I'm stuck.
My boyfriend and I have 3 weeks and a bit of cash to travel around Europe in October.
We'll probably spend the first five days in Berlin seeing friends, because flights from London (where we live) are dirt cheap. Boyfriend lived there for a while in 2014 but it's my first time so I'd be open to spending longer, if a strong case is made for doing so.
The rough plan is two other European cities after Berlin. Amsterdam is in the running, but we've both been there. We'd prefer somewhere cheap and unfamiliar (i.e. somewhere not-west). The thing is, everyone has good things to say about everywhere on the bloody continent. People have recommended Croatia, Poland, Prague, Budapest and Bucharest to us—and that is just personal recommendations, the Internet is full of them. We've also thought about maybe Athens + a Greek island (maybe Crete?).
If it matters: we're 21, and although we are very much on a 21ish budget (anticipate hostels, although small airbnb would be better), we are not really in the market for a 21ish holiday. I love to drink and boyfriend loves music (techno etc) but he's been sober for a year and we're looking for something more Dignified. We like wandering around on foot, sitting at (cheap) cafes, shopping, and an occasional dose of arts and culture. It would be great if the streets of this hypothetical place stayed lively after dark.
NB: definitely want at least one of these places to be REALLY, REALLY beautiful. Cobbled streets and balconies and so on. We wouldn't mind staying in a sleepier town if it's cheap, has some cafes, and is really beautiful. Because we are shallow.
Key factors:
- Pleasant in October (enough to spend most of the day outdoors)
- Not unavoidably touristy
- Cheap access from Berlin and/or London
- Cheap to have a nice time in
- Beauty!!!
We're very indecisive and all the options are killing us. Pls advise.
TL;DR: | we'll probably spend a week in whatever European country you recommend most strongly, as long as it's cheap and beautiful. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Please help comfort my Thanksgiving-addled mind
POST: I love to cook, and I love Thanksgiving for that very reason. This year, though, I've been working to lose weight, but it's Thanksgiving! Can't not go all out, right? I did run in a Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning, and when I finished and weighed in, I saw 209, which is good. I checked again this morning: 217. That's bad.
I know that there's realistically no way that I gained eight pounds in two days, and am going down to hit the treadmill in a bit. But please, for the sake of my sanity, confirm to me that I didn't actually gain eight pounds?
TL;DR: | Ate too much over last two days, scale says I gained eight pounds, please tell me it is a lying lie-faced liar. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [24F] tells her friend [24M] everything before she tells me [31M].
POST: We've been dating for about a year now.
My girlfriend has this really good friend, Julian, who she has known for I guess 4-5 years now? Anyway, he's definitely her best friend. She has a lot of other friends, but they are closest and she values his opinion on things a lot.
Anyway, my problem is that I feel like they're too close. She tells him anything and everything before telling me. She's going home for a weekend to visit her parents? Julian knows before I do. Her childhood dog passed away? She's already cried on his shoulder before even telling me. Upset about being passed over for a promotion? She stops by at Julian's to talk it out before coming over to my place.
For a long time I thought she was really unemotional. Turns out she just lets all that stuff out to him first before coming to me. Every single problem she has is totally worked out before she even talks to me. I feel like I'm just being told as a formality because that's what you are supposed to do; tell your boyfriends things.
And I don't want that. I want to be the person she goes to for her problems. I want to be someone she can talk to about anything. I've told her she can tell me anything, and she says she knows, but then she goes to Julian anyway.
Am I being too needy? Am I out of line for thinking I should be the one she tells things to, not her "bff"?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend tells her friend everything before even mentioning it to me. I want to be the one she goes to but don't know how to make that happen. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Losing sleep with my busy schedule, how do I manage all I need to do in one day?
POST: To make this short, I am losing sleep with how busy my daily schedule has become. I am an apprentice electrician who has school for one week about every 8 weeks, but I have a lot of homework that needs to be done before the school week starts. On top of that I am going to college to get my associates degree on the side (end result looking for electrical engineering). Anyways, I have a deal going with someone that they'll pay for me to complete my general associates in two semesters (meaning I'm taking 3 classes over the summer and 4 over the fall). Of course I can't pass up this opportunity, however I am only 1 week into my college class and I am super stressed and losing sleep. My typical day looks like this:
wake up around 6am
work 7am-330pm
get home around 4pm (then I shower and what not since I work construction)
leave for class at 515pm
get home from class around 840pm
then I have to do all of my homework because I won't have time to do it before class the next day. Homework is due throughout the week so I can't wait for the weekend to complete it all.
this is my schedule monday - friday. the summer semester is shorter, meaning more work piled onto you.
I don't know how I'm going to get through it and work my 40 hrs a week which I need to. Also in my line of work and being an apprentice they can send me anywhere for work (could be 1-2 hours away) and I can't say no. It's not uncommon. But that cuts into sleep and time before class or even during class. If I say no, there's a chance I get kicked out of the program. I'm super stressed and don't know how to manage this. I slacked off in high school a lot and don't want to repeat it. I'm 20 years old. I eventually want to be an engineer but feel obtaining my electrician license would be a valuable thing to have. Any advice from people who have experienced a similar situation would be great. thank you.
TL;DR: | losing sleep due to busy schedule, don't know how to fit homework into my days since most of my days are spent in class or at work. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [23M] friend/roommate's [24M] girlfriend [25F] is over all the time and brings her kids a lot of the time
POST: I bought a house and had 3 of my friends move in and they all pay me rent to live there. I left last July for work and came back in February to the house being ok overall. That's when I first met my friend's girlfriend and though the other roommates had mentioned how much she was over and with her kids, she wasn't over a lot at first. Since I've been home she slowly started staying over more and bringing her kids over once in awhile. At this point she pretty much lives here with one of her kids and the other one comes over occasionally (different dads). We're all in our 20s and we all want nothing to do with her kids who are annoying and misbehaved. I'm pretty laid back and easy going, but I've had it with the situation. What do I do? Should I start charging her rent? Should I tell her shes only allowed to sleep over like two nights a week? Should I tell her I don't want her kids over here? She is a nice person, we're friends, and she is in a tough spot financially/family wise.
TL;DR: | My friend's girlfriend pretty much lives at my house rent free with one of her two kids and I don't like the situation. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Should I (18M) still have asked how she felt?
POST: Well I finished up my first semester at college and I wanted to get it off of a chest to tell a girl that I liked her before break. I came to decide this about with a week of school left and I got too eager and accidentally admitted it over FB which one should NEVER do, especially if you can easily see them in person. I didn't really ask how she felt about it all, and I assume this made it easier for a soft rejection. I felt like I assumed too much, and I just don't want to know what she would say because I am probably guessing it would of been a rejection.
TL;DR: | I am pretty sure i got a soft rejection, but am still unsure and am wondering if I should of ask how she felt? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: thinking about a girl don't know how to approach
POST: I met this girl from work. Shes super chill and nice to me. We always talk about cars and stuff we both like. I am starting to have feelings and I don't know what to do. She invited me to go out and eat with my other coworkers and gave me her phone number. We went out and had a great time, talked and everything. However she has a boyfriend, that she has been with for about two months. I want to tell her but I don't want to make a conflict with her and her boyfriend. She says her boyfriend always makes her upset and has problems. But I'm a respectful person who knows boundaries. What should I do about this?
TL;DR: | I like my coworker, she has a boyfriend, her boyfriend is always fighting with her, what do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend is dependent on me and it's making me miserable (F 20, M 19)
POST: F 20, M 19
We've been dating for 1 year, 3 months and have lived together for 8 months. We have a supportive relationship but he always needs me to be with him when he calls to make appointments (he "hates" the phone), needs me to help him figure out his timetable for college, needs me to mail things for him (because he "hates" it). It's driving me crazy. I know I should have spoken up sooner but it happened really gradually, and that's why I'm here now.
His mother used to do these things for him of course and we started dating shortly after we both moved away to school. I'm a pretty independent person for the most part, and am capable of taking care of my affairs on my own without parental help or issue.
Maybe it's just a matter of age or maturity, but I just find it exhausting and a little unsexy that he needs my help to schedule a meeting every single time. How do I delicately handle this situation? He's pretty sensitive and although he's getting on my nerves, he still has feeling and I love him.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend is dependent on me for even little tasks like making a phone call because he "hates it", how do I tell him that I need him to start taking more responsibility for his life? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Suddenly feeling threatened in otherwise great relationship
POST: My boyfriend and I (both 25, M/F, together 2 years) are a perfect example of opposites attract. He's a left-brain engineer, and I am a right-brained, anxious artist. We are both highly intelligent, we just have different skills and modes of thinking.
He recently started going to grad school for engineering, so he spends a lot of time on campus in the library working with his classmates on math and physics and things that I only have a very minimal understanding of (obviously). He never mentions or talks about the people he works with. Recently, at a party, I met one of his classmates who is a very attractive girl. She's cute, she's an engineer, and she too is at the library all the time.
I do trust my boyfriend wholeheartedly; however, I am aware that common interests and life experiences bring people closer together. He and I have common core values, but otherwise we are like night and day. Honestly, something about knowing that he is in the library with her all the time, working on projects, discussing their homework, etc. is really eating away at me.
How do I express this concern to my boyfriend in a fair and honest way?
TL;DR: | BF and I are opposites. How do I tell him I feel threatened by his classmate who has more in common with him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21m] and a good friend of 2 years [23f] who I have feelings for, had drunken sex. What should I do?
POST: The other night me and a good friend(who which I have feelings for) were hanging out in my apartment with some of our friends drinking. We had had alot to drink (me more than her) she came with me into my room and got in my bed with me and we put a movie on and she snuggled up real close.
(On multiple occasions she has gotten in the bed with me just to cuddle.)
She gets real close to me and then we start to make out and then we proceed to have sex, after a few minutes I was to drunk to do anything and we ended up passing out naked in bed. We wake up the next morning and she acts as if it were just another night like the rest and acts normal. Im not sure how to approach the situation, ive never really been great with women and im afraid that this could have hurt our friendship. What's some advice you could give me?
TL;DR: | me and my crush who is a friend of 2 years had drunken sex and I dont know how to deal with the situation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend [24m] is depressed and doesn't go to school or work. I [27f] am at my wit's end.
POST: We have been together for two years. I know for a fact he is depressed but I am starting to feel antsy about what a future together is going to look like. About a year ago, he transferred colleges to start a low-residency program in acting studies. He was supposed to start acting but social anxiety and depression have made it hard to get started and try out for plays.
Since January, he has not been in school anymore, but is trying to find a job. We split the rent (his family pays half and I pay half). I am sad about seeing him so sad all the time, and he used to go see a therapist, but he tends to ditch sessions and has an outstanding bill that he hasn't paid in a while. I keep looking at it on the kitchen table and stressing out about that.
The other problem is that earlier this month we had a big fight and he ended up buying takeout every day while I was away, thus spending all of his money before half the month was up (he gets a small amount of monthly cash until figuring out the next step from his parents). I no longer keep track of the things I have had to buy this month. He's going to get me back. I guess he just has no sense of having spent all this money and he is angry and blaming me for "making him so sad" that he spent all of his savings. He was just impulsive and depressed, and having done similar things in my early twenties (been a slow starter, being undecided, and occasionally done stupid and impulsive things, so I can definitely relate), but he problem is he now blames me for his depression during that period.
Reddit, what do I do? He is in this rut and I know it's temporary but I feel like we're going down a black hole together. I work, go to school, and freelance in my spare time. I love my boyfriend and he provides so much emotional support and love for me, but I can't shake this nagging feeling that I need to put my foot down to help him grow (or the opposite, get him to a shrink to get out of his depression?)
TL;DR: | boyfriend won't work or study due to depression, and I want this to change both for his sake and mine as fast as possible |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Experienced me [23/f] worries that inexperienced boyfriend [23/m] will seek more after time.
POST: So I've been dating my boyfriend for about 4 months, and it has been near perfect. We have great chemistry, have so much in common, and are always having fun together. I have no doubts about the amazing quality of the relationship.
When we first started dating, the fooling around was going quite slow, and he finally admitted that he was a virgin. I was a bit apprehensive, but stuck with him obviously, because he is great. Somehow he was a natural :) I worry, though, that someday he will wonder what it's like to sleep with other girls. I have a lot of experience, so I'm less concerned because I know I thoroughly please him. I would ask him about this, as we have a really open and honest relationship, but I think it might be a little bit neurotic of me. I'm a very self-confident and optimistic person, but this crossed my mind and I can't get it out of my head.
Any men out there that have been in this place, and can lessen my worries?
TL;DR: | I recently started dating a guy who had little relationship experience, I took his virginity, and despite the sex being great, I worry that eventually he will want to know what it's like to sleep with other women. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: How to ask Federal Interviewer about relocation/other location
POST: I was called today for an interview for a job with the federal government (TSA) in San Diego, where I used to live. I applied to this job over 18 months ago and since then my S.O. got a great job (1 year in) and put down roots in Los Angeles, which is also my home town (family here, etc). Her current job makes more than twice as much as this position would and there's no way she would/could/should leave it.
When I applied for this position, I also applied for two locations in our current city. I have been unemployed (or soul-crushingly underemployed on and off) for the past 20 months since graduating college and my SO has been financially supporting us. A position with the TSA would be a stepping stone into my field and obviously the job hunt has not been going well in Los Angeles. This is the first *anything* related call I've gotten in months. How do I express to the interviewer that I'm honestly desperately eager to work in my field but it would be an emotional and financial hardship to do so from San Diego? How can I ask him to "apply" my interview to locations closer to home? Does anyone have experience with different locations for a government positions like this? Would it be easier/more feasible to transfer after toughing it out "in the system" for a couple months?
TL;DR: | SO makes bank in Los Angeles, TSA interview in San Diego. How do I tell the interviewer I really want a position in Los Angeles, not San Diego (applied to both locations over a year ago)? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20M] want to break up with GF [20F] of nearly three years, I'm studying abroad for 2 more months
POST: So I'm a student currently studying abroad (2 months in, 2 more to go), and my GF of nearly three years is eagerly awaiting my return back home. Problem is, I'm pretty sure I want to break up with her. My feelings for her have changed over the months, and I'm pretty sure I'm not as invested in our relationship anymore as she is. I feel like over the past 3 years, I've changed a lot as a person (personality, desires, goals, maturity and general life attitude) while she has basically not changed at all since I knew her. Of course there is nothing wrong with that, but it has definitely affected my feelings for her and my desire to be with her in the future. I simply believe I do not love her anymore and these past 2 months of not seeing her have helped me realize that. I am just not as excited about skyping/keeping in touch with her as I would have thought.
The thing is, I don't know what to do. I feel like breaking up with her over Skype is terrible, and I would probably be marked as 'that guy that broke up over Skype' by a lot of people (mutual acquaintances, family). On the other hand, if I break up with her upon return (christmas), I will be the guy that broke up with her just after returning and not seeing her for 4 months... I would probably blamed for that as well. But waiting for some time after returning just to avoid this is also terrible, since I know I want out of this relationship anyways.
I just don't know what to do right now, it feels whatever I do, I will be regarded as an asshole. She can be quite emotional and radical so I'm not sure if we would be able to break up on good terms.
TL;DR: | Want to break up with GF of 3 years, have been studying abroad and not seen her for 2 months, have another 2 months left before returning, don't know when or how to break up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: When I (21 F) was in a relationship, he (21 M) liked me; now that I'm single, he has a girlfriend.
POST: So, a couple years ago I met a guy who I was attracted to and he liked me as well but I had a boyfriend so I never told this guy I liked him or got his phone number. Anyways, it's about two years later and I'm now single. I run into this guy who I met in college and always used to study with. I was really happy to see him and he was happy to see me. He gave me a compliment about my outfit and I got his number. He asked if I wanted to meet up with him and I said yes. I thought it was a date but then found out he had a girlfriend.
I told him I thought it was a date and I liked him and he apologized. He said he's been with this girl for almost a year. We ended up hanging out anyways and he said he felt the same about me when I had a boyfriend. I feel really awkward and disappointed.
I feel guilty because I stayed with my ex instead of going for this guy and my ex ended up abusing me. Now that I'm single I thought I could finally date this guy who I liked in the beginning.
My question is, should I leave this guy alone and forget about it? I don't want to pursue anyone in a relationship and being friends with him seems hard since I like him. I don't think his girlfriend would be happy if he was friends with someone who had feelings for him.
TL;DR: | the guy I like has a girlfriend now and when he liked me I was in a relationship. I feel pretty disappointed and cried over it. Should I just forget about him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26 F] have recently started seeing my ex [26 M] but he doesn't want a relationship
POST: Me and my ex were together for four years before we broke up. Up until then, we were amazing together, rarely fought, generally got along well, all in all we were great together.
We broke up about 5 years ago due to long distance not working in our favor, and haven't spoken until recently, when he contacted me.
He got a job in the city and moved here, so we started seeing eachother about four months ago.
He was still the most attentive and sweet person as he had been throughout our relatioship, and we started getting romantic again. However, since it had been years since we have spoken, I took things very slowly, not beeing sure what his intentions were.
I was pretty sure he liked seeing me, hanging out, and he was outright romantic, holding hands, kissing.
This has been going on for a few months now, I started loving the fact that we might get together again and I got up the courage to ask him about his intentions, does he see this turning into a relationship.
He told me he loved hanging out, reconnecting, that I get him on levels that noone else does (which is comforting, because I'm pretty convinced he is the one for me), but that he isn't ready for a relationship. I told him I had feelings for him, but I could not keep seeing him, because I'll always hope for something more with him. He said he wouldn't like that, he still wants to keep seeing eachother, and now I'm torn between wanting to keep seeing him and keeping my dignity and walking away from something that maybe wasn't meant to be.
All suggestions are appreciated.
TL;DR: | Ex boyfriend and I reconnected after years, started seeing eachother, he told me he doesn't want a relationship. Torn between staying and becoming closer or walking away. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Has anybody else heard this before, if so what do you think it is. Read on.
POST: Ok so when I was a child there was this tick sounds in my room, it would randomly start when I was playing or something.. tick ... tick.. tick .. tick tick TICK TICK TICK. It would start slow then get louder and more aggressive. When I would get up to go look for where the sound was coming from it would stop. Sometimes it would even stop when I would turn to face where it was coming from.
I forgot about this. Then years later when I moved in with my bf at the time. It started again when we were in bed. It was the same; it would start slow get faster, stop when you move or talk. It would drive my bf crazy. He took everything out of the bookshelves trying to find it. But you could never pin point where it was coming from. And it would always stop when you try to find it. As soon as your almost asleep again.. tick ..tick.. tick. TICK TICK TICK. Sometimes we would just yell at it to shut up. Sometimes it was like it was right next to us in the air.
This was a few years ago. Now I have it in my room again.
Does anybody else have this tick, and know what the hell it is? I have no idea.
TL;DR: | I have a tick sound in my room which moves around and stops when I try to find it, Does anyone know what this is? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: need help for friend and his relationship
POST: reddit i need your help my friend posted this on another forum and i am going to take it because our friendship is at stake.
"I feel really immature for this one but you can't help how you feel. What do you do when your girl likes your best friend and talks to him noticably more than you? Like even to the point where her mom notices and says "What's up with that? I thought you two were dating?". I mean he has no interest in her but she just keeps talking to him the way she'd talk to me and flat out told him if she wasn't dating me she'd date him to which he responded "oh" and changed the subject.
This was of course after I asked her over and over if she liked him and she denied it up and down. I am just finding out monday when we were fighting and I pressured it out of her. My best friend seemed to act shocked too...Now I don't trust either of them and if it's up to me I'm never leaving the two in the same room again.
Am I being immature? Am I overreacting? "
TL;DR: | i have no interest in his girlfriend, her girlfriend told me she has a crush on me. my best friend of 9 years dont trust me anymore. |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: My little brother is a spoiled brat
POST: This goes for my sister too, although she mostly holes up in her room watching Netflix and eating chips. My little brother was raised with no boundaries He complains at having to do the simplest jobs, blames everyone around him for all of his failures, and feels entitled to any and all privileges. He is an attention seeking 11 year old boy and we used to be so close and now he is just a jerk(and not even the cool kind). He thinks he is great at everything he does and can't accept if anyone is better than him. He calls people names that I guess are supposed to be demeaning( stupid Obamaface?) but he is not as pathetically developed mentally as they make him sound. If he is not the center of attention he will do ANYTHING to become it and we've all tried ignoring him, it just doesn't work. Willing to do anything to get the non-douchebag little brother back.
TL;DR: | My awesome little brother has become a self-righteous, entitled, know it all attention whore over the past couple years. How do I fix him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (18M) keep getting upset over my girlfriend's (18F) drinks. Should I really be upset?
POST: This has been going on for a month-ish now, where she'll have an occasional beer or glass of wine. Never enough to the point where she becomes intoxicated, but still, I hate it. I've brought it up to her before, and she just tells me that I need to calm down about it, and realize it's not as bad as I make it. Today, we had an argument about it. It ended with me telling her that I didn't want her to drink anymore, but then a minute later, I just told her that I need to look at it from her point of view. It's not "bad", it doesn't get her drunk, and she always does it around adults who let her, but I just don't like it. My morals are strongly against anything that has to do with alcohol.
Another point I brought up is that I switched it around. I said, "If you didn't like my occasional bottle or glass, I would stop because I know you don't like it." Should she have done the same for me, or are my expectations flawed?
Did I do the right thing? Should I have put a boundary on it only because of my morals, or continue looking at it from her point of view? Should she have recognized my disinterest from the start, and stopped doing it herself because she knows I don't like it?
TL;DR: | My girlfriend occasionally drinks (responsibly), but I hate it regardless. Should I tell her to stop only because of my morals, or just look at it from her point of view and see that it's not so bad? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [f/23] want a FWB situation with M[26], but not sure how to go about it...
POST: I've known Alex for a couple years through friends. One of my good friends, Mike, used to live with him and they both work at a bar that my friends all go to fairly often. He's a really nice, fun guy, but he's also really hot and can get most girls he wants. When Mike lived with him, he said Alex would usually have a couple different girls in every week, then out the next morning.
I slept with him last week after bumping into him on a night out. I was out with my friend George, who knows him better than I do, and he'd randomly mentioned Mike in conversation and I told him he was really hot and I couldn't care less if he was a man slut, I'd still tap it. Later we went to a club and saw him unexpectedly and George told me that Alex asked if I was single, blah blah blah. Skip to an hour later, we're having sex in his flat.
I don't want a boyfriend at all. I've just come out of a relationship and I don't want anything even remotely exclusive or committed. I'm going abroad for a year in a couple months anyway. I genuinely just want to have occasional sex with this guy, because he's really hot and a lot of fun. The problem is I know he can get laid just by looking at a girl, and I worry that if I suggested a FWB situation he'd think I was desperate and trying to sneakily make him my boyfriend. He told me I was great fun to hang out with, and I've seen him since we slept together and it was brief but not at all awkward. We know a lot of the same people though, and if I asked to be FWB and he said no, and it got out, I'd be mortified.
What do you reckon /r/relationship_advice ? Should I be upfront, or just hope for the best next time I see him? Or just chalk it up as a win, self-high-five and let it go?
TL;DR: | Banged a really hot guy last week, want to be FWB but fearing rejection because this guy has super-panty-dropping-powers. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Account recently got "disabled" on instagram and now Apple wants me to pay $60 to "Fix" the problem. Reddit, how have people/companies tried to get you to pay for a free service?
POST: OK so here's the story. I had gotten an Instagram account when I had bought an iPhone a couple of months ago. After a few months of using it my Instagram account had gotten disabled for some reason. I had tried emailing support on their website but to no avail. All I got was an automated email response. I had decided that I could live without an instagram account. A few days ago I had tried to get back into using instagram by making a new account but was denied saying that my account that I had been disabled, before I even made it. Apparently my iPhone was disabled from using instagram somehow. I called apple to see if they could fix the problem and they said they could. All I had to do was pay $60 for a month of Tech support that would "fix" my problem. When I had told the guy that it was stupid because instagram is free he told me "It's actually not stupid because tech support will also protect your device from virus' and hackers."
TL;DR: | Instagram account got disabled for some reason unknown to me. Can't make any new accounts. Apple wants me to pay $60 for a month of tech support to fix the problem |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: After years of hard work, Ive got everything I've ever wanted. But I still feel empty.
POST: I dont really know what to say, it's such a first world problem. I've seriously got my dream job right now and it's the fucking best. I worked my ass off to get this job and to get to this point in my life. I worked my fucking ass off and the job is fucking awesome.
On top of that, I live rent free in the most amazing place. I worked my ass off to get this place too. like seriously harder than I have ever worked for anything.
And yet, I'm still unhappy.
I love my job so much that when I get home, I just can't wait to go to work. I have 7 hours of free time before bed and I just end up sitting there doing nothing. Everything I've ever done as a hobby before, everything I ever did in my spare time before, is now being fulfilled by my current job
but yet, I have still have to endure 7 hours of solitude doing nothing because I can only handle so much fun.
So It's really fucking weird to complain about. And how the fuck is anyone going to be able to relate to that? I just feel so goddamn lonely about that.
And then on top of all that, i dont know where I am with my life relationship-wise. I'm 24. I've slept with so many women, and im pretty sure im a sex-addict. I've just been chasing the same feeling of love that I had with my first highschool sweetheart girlfriend. Everything since then has been unfufilling.
So I've tried online dating, but theres clearly a systemic problem in my relationships that I need to address.
Look, I don't know what I'm doing by writing here. I just need to get this off my chest. I've got seriously everything I've ever wanted, but somehow I've got nothing. Please help me.
TL;DR: | I worked my ass off to get my dream life, but now I feel like something's missing and I feel very alone because my problems sound so mundane..... |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] in need of an objective view of a situation with a girl [22 F]
POST: Hello, reddit user. Sorry to resort to asking romance questions online, but I have gotten to the point where I am too emotionally invested in the situation to have an objective view. Here is my situation, in brief:
Studied abroad, met a girl. Was with her for three weeks (before we were separated by returning to our schools. Both American- just different states)
Never kissed her, but we were inseparable. 99% sure she did like me very very much (indicated by her friends) but was really shy. I am also shy and couldnt balls up to make a move.
Now we are apart (10 hours distance), but have been messaging on facebook nearly every day for the past month.
However, I have noticed that she has started replying a bit more slowly to me. At first it was pretty routine: she would reply one day, then I would reply the next, and so on. Now I will see that she posts statuses (thus has been online and seen my message), and wont respond for a day or two later.
Does this mean she is losing interest? OR am I just being to analytical?
Additional information: She is a college senior, graduating in may. I am a junior. There is a possibility that we could end up close to each other this summer (by complete coincidence actually, as I live every summer in Fort Collins, CO and she happened to apply for jobs in a number of places including Denver about an hour away).
TL;DR: | met a girl studying abroad, had an insane connection but had to part ways after our terms ended, have been facebook messaging for a month but confused as to how she feels |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28 F] with my boyfriend [28M] of 8 years won't let me go on his group vacation.
POST: Throwaway in case my bf browses r/relationships. So my boyfriend of several years bought a plane ticket for a "guy trip" across the country on a once in a lifetime kind of trip and he is splitting a condo with everyone going. He says I am not allowed to attend because it's a "guy trip". I would be totally fine with it except that of the 6 people going, 2 are girls. (One single girl and one guy's girlfriend.)
When I found out other girls were going, I said I would really love to go--this place is on my bucket list. I have the time to go and my own means for a plane ticket. He still says I am not allowed to come because he wants to hang out with the guys and he thinks I will "throw off the dynamic".
I have been pretty down about this. I really wanted to go to this place, and ideally I would have loved to experience it with him. I know almost everybody else going on the trip except the single female; the single chick only knows one person going and the other girl knows only her bf and my bf. I have expressed that I feel left out, crushed because I feel like he is embarrassed by me, and just upset because I feel like many of his future vacations won't be involving me.
If I am totally honest, I feel uncomfortable about this trip because a few months ago he went on vacation to the same state...he met a girl at a bar and hung out with her until 8am...supposedly did not cheat on me just stayed and talked at a 24 hr coffee shop...and the girl made a scene when he finally mentioned me. As I type this I feel like I have other unresolved relationship/trust issues. :( ANYWAY, am I crazy to be upset by not being invited? Would you be upset if your SO told he didn't want you there on a group vacation? Thanks for listening.
TL;DR: | BF says he doesn't want me to go on his guy trip with his 3 bros except 2 girls are allowed to come. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Now we have reached the trees, the beautiful trees.
POST: Okay, I've had vision problems since I was three years old, not uncommon, but still. I have seen the same optometrist since then, in all that time the tests have remained the same, I am now twenty three years old, for close to twenty years I have been reading the same line for the short sight test.
"Now we have reached the trees, the beautiful trees."
I hate it with every atom, this one fucking phrase, I'm never going to forget it. It may be that it's usually followed by painful eye drops, bad memory linking or something, but it doesn't matter, I still loathe this one sentence.
TL;DR: | actual question: What is something that is so mundane that other people would just pass it off, but drives you fucking mental? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I F(33) don't know what to do about my alcoholic BF M(35)
POST: I F(33) have been with my BF "Sam" M(35) for about 15 months, and have been living with him for about 5 months. I have known for most of our relationship that he had an issue with drinking, but it didn't become bad until a few months ago, when he'd come home from work every night very drunk and start fights with me.
While he has never laid his hands on me, and I don't think that he would, he does get in my face and scream at me. I'm actually surprised that the neighbors don't call the cops. Now, like most a users, he's not like this all the time. Of course, when he's sober, he can be the greatest boyfriend ever.
I understand completely that what he is doing is abuse. I know that I have to leave. My problem is that I was injured at work in October. I have been out of work since then, and am receiving workers compensation benefits, but not much. About $350 every two weeks.
Therein lies the problem. I can't possibly afford to move out on $700 per month. I have no family or friends who would be able to take me in, even for a short time. I don't know what to do. And I'm seriously disabled. I can barely get around even with the help of my cane. It's difficult for me to do basic things for myself. So, my lovely friends here, what do I do? I'm not even sure that I'll get and answer, but I could use some people to be able to talk to openly about this.
TL;DR: | I,F(33), am stuck in an abusive relationship with an alcoholic M(35). Not sure if I have any options besides a shelter. Help please! |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by trying to brush my teeth before bed
POST: We had a birthday in our family today, and my mom picked up a cheesecake on her way home for us all to enjoy after dinner. Being a regular user of the internet, and therefore an irregular user of sleep, my eating schedule's a little off and I only just got around to eating my slice of cheesecake.
I go to brush my teeth afterwards, only to realize my bathroom is fresh out of toothpaste. Well, fuck. I can't sleep without getting the sugar off my teeth or I'll feel gross. So, employing Solid Snake levels of stealth, I try to creep past my parents' bed to get to their bathroom (and, ultimately, their toothpaste). The room is completely dark, but I manage the journey and even successfully cover my toothbrush in toothpaste without incident. It's the way back that causes an issue.
See, most of our pets sleep in my parents' room. One of them is an obnoxious, mouthy little Schnauzer who likes to lie in really inconvenient spots. Being unable to see her, I tripped over her, stumbling as she yelped bloody murder. This, combined with my loud exclamation of "*shit!*," managed to wake my parents, who first thought I was an intruder but finally concluded I'm just a dick who interfered with their sleep when they've got work in the morning.
TL;DR: | Tried to steal my parents' toothpaste, realized the life of a ninja is not for me when I woke both of them up and pissed off a dog in the process. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am I [21 M] a giant dating fuckup or do I have bad luck?
POST: I have been wanting to get into a relationship for a while and I don't know if I'm looking at the wrong people and/or have terrible luck or if I'm doing something wrong.
Let's start back in August. I met someone and get stood up. This happened multiple times with different people. I get rejected and have no reasoning as to why. The only time when I got a reason was because I told a date that I was diagnosed with autism when I was 2(It came up somehow), and she proceeded to call me "fucking mental" and left.
I've had dates be on their phones for the whole time and then reject me because I didn't talk to them or pay attention to them. I've been rejected because of my major/minor combination (Software Engineering with Physics minor), my taste in music, the fact that I'm not in a fraternity(in university for reference). I personally think they are stupid reasons but I'll have you give me a second opinion.
Fast forward a bit to this week. My therapist told me to go on a date to try and make a connection with someone. I talk to someone and set up a date, but then an hour later she texts me the next day because she got back with her ex.
TL;DR: | I've been stood up and rejected a lot and I don't know if it's bad luck or I'm doing something wrong other than looking in the wrong places. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: I (25F) received an anonymous email with screenshots of my ex (31M) trying to chat up a 13 year old girl. What do I do? (xpost)
POST: I was told to come here from the relationships subreddit. I'm located in the United States, Nw England area.
So, yes. Throwaway for reasons that will soon become obvious.
I haven't spoken to or been in contact with my ex in over two years, despite having a three year old daughter with him. I recieve no child support, and it's a fine situation.
Our relationship ultimately ended because I found out he was stalking and exposing himself to young college girls and gas station attendants. The last contact I had with him was during a child support hearing in 2014 where he ultimately threatened to have me killed.
In the years since, I've done rather well for myself, considering the fact that my relationship with X was physically and financially abusive, and my main concern in life is my daughter and my mental health.
Yesterday, I received an email from an address I didn't recognize, with screenshots of X chatting with a girl, who tells him she is 13 after she confirms that his age is 30 or so. He continued to chat with her after, offering friendship, a listening ear, marijuana, and more chatting.
While obviously inappropriate, I don't believe I have reason enough to go to the police or any other law enforcement agency. Yes, he's showing signs of attempting to groom her for sexual conversation, but it's not like he's coming out to say it.
I looked up the girl in an attempt to contact her parents, but was unsuccessful.
What do I do, if anything?
TL;DR: | Ex with sexual criminal conduct past is chatting up little girl, and someone saw fit to send me screen grabs. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (26M) just found out I've contracted genital herpes and I'm 99% certain it could have only come from my SO (24F). Upset and not sure how to talk to her about this
POST: So I'm pretty upset right now. I (26M) just found out I have genital herpes and I think I got it from my GF (24F) of 6 months.
She is the only person I have had sex with since March 2014 and I have always used condoms in the past with other women. My SO and I began with condoms, but stopped using them about 1-2 months into our relationship.
I am out of country for the holidays but am returning in a couple days and I need to confront her about this. I'm not sure what scenario I'm more worried about: If she knows she had herpes and didn't tell me or if she doesn't know and thinks that I'm some dirty bastard that gave it to her.
If she knew and didn't tell me, I would be incredibly hurt and betrayed. We both made a decision to not wear condoms and she should have at least warned me about this so we could have taken preventative measures, LIKE WEARING CONDOMS.
If she doesn't know, she's going to think that I gave it to her. This is going to become the most awkward conversation of all time. I'm going to have to tell her to get tested and she's going to be positive.
Either way, my relationship is about to go through a fucking blender and this may shatter it. I feel sick thinking about it. I feel sick knowing that I now have herpes for fucking life.
Anyways, any advice on how to approach this situation or any anecdotes of people in similar situations would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | I have herpes and my girlfriend most likely gave it to me. Dont know if she knew or not. Not looking forward to the conversation I'm about to have. Help and advice please. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Guy [24/m] I am seeing is being hot and cold to me [22/f]
POST: I met a guy at a friend's party and we hit it off and exchanged numbers and before meeting for an official date, he would rarely ever text maybe like 2-3 texts a day which made me think he was not interested but after we went on a date, he started chatting with me a lot more. We would text each other from the morning till night and he would reply instantly. We would also flirt a lot, saying we miss each other, etc. and so far we have been on 6 dates in a 2 week period. A few nights ago we had sex and after that day, texting has decreased significantly. He now takes about 3-5 hours to respond and I know that he is busy, he has work and he is also studying for a CPA designation so he is studying a lot but the sudden decline in texting has made me worry. I don't know if I am reading too much into it, when he does reply he replies with questions and thoughtful responses, it is never short like "lol or k".
I don't know if I will come off clingy if I ask him why he is suddenly taking hours to reply when before he replied every 2 minutes or so. I usually don't reply right away, I reply in about 20 min - 1.5 hours max. Also, I see him online on FB chat all the time.
TL;DR: | guy I am seeing suddenly stops texting and responds in 3-5 hours, does it come off as needy/clingy if I ask why? Or should I just take it as a hint he does not like me and move on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [25F] boyfriend [26M] continuously makes comments about my friendship with [25M].
POST: Throwaway because I know my boyfriend surfs Reddit a lot.
So first off, my SO and I have been dating for almost two years now, and we're now living with each other. We met through mutual friends and so as a result, we know most of each other's friends. Our relationship has been pretty smooth overall and we've never had any major spats, but so far, this specific issue has become a recurring one and my SO has been sounding somewhat accusatory sometimes and it has started to strike at my nerves a bit.
I'll start with the context. For the last eight years, I've been friends with this guy named "Sam", and throughout the time I've known him, he's never been very social at all as he's told me he only has a few other friends besides me, and he hates going out. My SO knows about the context behind Sam and I.
And so, about about a couple months ago, my SO made a comment about having never gotten to really meet Sam, even though I hang out with him pretty often. He suggested that I invite Sam over to our home for dinner or something. I sent the offer to Sam and Sam said thanks, but declined. My SO suggested that I try to invite him over again sometime later. I did, insistent this time, and Sam came over and we had a painfully awkward dinner as neither one of them really talked to each other. After Sam went home, my SO started saying how Sam "weirded him out" and how he wondered how we could even be friends.
From then on, my SO has continuously made comments on my friendship with Sam, especially when I go to hang out with Sam, eventually saying that he felt Sam was so rude for not even trying to get to know him and other things like "why do you even hang out with him?" sort of comments. I've asked SO to stop, but sometimes he gets mad that I'm defending Sam "over him", and that my SO is just "speaking his mind". It's been getting on my nerves! How do I deal with this? I don't even get where he's getting these ideas from. Could I possibly be in the wrong of this situation?
TL;DR: | My SO keeps negatively commenting on the friendship between my male friend and I. I've asked him to stop, but he has gotten defensive at times and doesn't see anything wrong with it. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [19 F] girlfriend cheated on me [20 M] but she doesn't know that I know.
POST: We'd been dating for a few months. She had sex with her ex-boyfriend the night before she came home for winter break. I went through her texts and saw that she told her best friend. She does not know that I went through her texts.
I broke up with her not because of the cheating but because the relationship wasn't working in general. She is sad that I broke up with her and said that she wanted to work on things. But why would she not tell me about the cheating if she wanted to move forward in our relationship? I don't think it is best for me to tell her that I know but part of me wants to hear her admit it.
I've been wanting to end things for a few weeks but wasn't sure/when/how to do it. It kind of just came up today. I've been emotionally drained from this relationship feeling like I put more in then what I get out of it.
Trying to be short because I don't like long posts. Feel free to ask questions for further detail. Thanks. I feel weird.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend cheated on me with ex and I found out by snooping. Broke up with her and she is sad. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Mother-in-law /yep it's one of those posts...
POST: Throw away acct for obvious reasons...
My husband and I have been together for over 7 years. We've had our ups and we've our downs (couple separations, him cheating, whatever). I am 33 and he is 27. We are doing well and things are the best they've ever been..
Here's where I need advice:
His mother is starting to create drama and I'm not sure how to handle it. She will ask him "bubby when are you moving back in"..and has done so on several occasions. She has also invited him to move back in with her to "save money" (just a note: neither one of us are in need of financial support). She is starting to be nosy in our relationship and is trying to create issues that do not exist.
How in bloody hell do I handle this situation?
TL;DR: | Mother in law wants her son to move back in, being nosy and starting drama...not sure how to handle this drama crap |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 m] with my gf [26 f] of 5 months (long history of feelings for the past 3 years) had a big fight. She needs space. How do I not fuck this up?
POST: For starters I don't fall easily for just anyone. I love this girl. A lot. We had a big fight last night which ended in her kicking me out. Didn't get physical, just shouting. I called her this morning and she answered but was still just as angry and told me she needs space and she will call me when she is ready to (very stern when she said that).
The worst thing here is that today was supposed to be a birthday dinner for me where she was going to finally get to meet my brother and some of my friends. So I cancelled that.
My question is how do I proceed? I'm ok with waiting for her to call me but what if she doesn't for a few days? Do I try to reach out to her? Or will that just push her away?
TL;DR: | girlfriend and I fought. She needs space. How long is a reasonable amount of time for to not speak to me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I [25/m] went on a couple of dates [25/f] and am doubting what to do next.
POST: Hi reddit,
I hope some of you can give some insights to me. I have had a couple of dates with this girl where everything is going great. To an outsider it would really seem like we are already a couple.
Thing is, when I meet her in person we hit it off. When we text it is kinda ok, but when I try to setup another date she is busy. This is not about me asking if she is lying, I am going to believe that she is busy because she still wants to meet.
Question for me is that I really like her and want to be honest with her that I want to see her more. I don't want to tie her down immediately, just want to let her know that I like the way that it is going and want to keep doing this while seeing where it will take us.
Does this sound right? How do you think it should be conveyed when you are meeting slowly but want to step that up?
Thanks
TL;DR: | Me and girl met a couple of times, she has a really busy schedule and time between dates is long. How can I explain to her, in a right way, that I want to meet more? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23F] am a bit concerned about moving in with my boyfriend [29M] of two and a half years.
POST: He is my first real boyfriend, we are together for two and a half years and we have great stable relationship.
He asked me a while ago to move in with him on summer, and I'm very happy because of that, but the problem is that I still haven't finished my collage and I have student job with student pay. When I said to him all this, and that I want to move in with him, but maybe a little bit later he said in his joking voice that I don't want to move in with him and have repeated it on one or two more occasions later. I now that he understands my reasons, but on the other hand I have feeling that he is maybe little disappointed.
Also we are often talking about all the things we are going to do when we move in, but when I am alone I got like little panic attacks about all this because I feel like I'm still a child (if this makes any sense). Also I'm really attached to my family (I still live with them) and I'm scared how will, or will I manage to talk to them daily.
So my question is, is this feeling of fear of the future (let's say) normal or not? I really love him and I want to star our life together but I am scared sometimes about it.
How did you manage to go through this "moving in" phase in relationship?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend wants to move in together and I want it too, but I'm scared how we will manage to live together because of my student job and how will I stay connected with my parents. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, its urgent. I need to find a way to sleep on my iPad w/o breaking it.
POST: I am living with someone who has stolen from me countless times throughout my life. There's no way to hide anything - if it's not on your person at all times, consider it stolen.
I want to keep my iPad. I've lost all kinds of important electronics because of this person - at the worst, I lost my first year's worth of photography which was stored on my laptop (gone), with my first camera getting taken along with it. Once, I went to the kitchen in a one story matchbox sized apartment, made myself a quick bowl of cereal in-between commercials, and by the time I was back to the living room, my shit was gone. It's that bad.
The only way I can think of protecting my iPad while I sleep is to stick it between my mattresses directly under me and sleep on top of it. But, obviously, I'm not a lightweight and my fat ass will break it in a matter of seconds (about 150lbs).
TL;DR: | Reddit, what can I make or build to protect the iPad from being crushed as I lay ontop of it? (it will be in-between 2 mattresses, and I am about 150lbs). |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Gf [24f] and her childhood friend progressively getting closer...something to be concerned about?
POST: Hello everyone. Using a throwaway, but I [27m] was hoping if I can get some input. My gf [24f] of a year has been acting a little different lately, and I'm wondering if it's cause for concern.
Naturally, I'm not a very jealous person, but a month ago, she asked me to get snapchat. If you don't know what that is, it's a social networking program where you send each other pictures that self-deletes within a certain amt of time. Anywho, I got the program and clicked her profile and saw that she has a "best friend" on there. Apparently, you automatically become best friends if you snapchat them often. Some guy I didn't know. I asked her about it, and it turns out it's her friend...who she had a crush on about two years ago.
I tried to not think about it, as I trust my girlfriend, but the past two weeks, I see her constantly getting texts from this guy. It was every other day, then once a day, now two-three times a day. Ok...they're childhood friends...that's ok...Just today, we were eating dinner and she gets a text from this guy and she starts texting back. I said, "What's up?" Her response was, "Oh, it's my friend..." but her response had a tone that she didn't want to really expand on it.
I just found out that she's applying to volunteer at a summer camp in her hometown, and has asked this guy to volunteer with her. I won't be in her hometown, and she wants friends there...alright...
Individually, these don't seem terrible or cause for concern. All together, however, it seems...rather...uncomfortable.
I highly doubt anything's going on, and we have an amazing relationship. I wonder, though, if she's acting...inappropriate? Is this something I should talk to her about?
TL;DR: | gf [24f] and her childhood friend have gotten pretty close in the past month...individually, not too worrisome...but all together, makes me [27m] feel uncomfortable. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what is your biggest drunken mistake?
POST: Two years ago when I was a freshmen, I was thinking about pledging to a fraternity. I show up to their first mixer of the year and start meeting people. I'm talking to one of the frat guys about programs and as it turns out, he's in my ex-girlfriends program. Me, being drunk as hell by now, ask if he's heard of this guy, and then proceed to tell him I fucked this guy's sister (only girl I had ever had sex with at the time so I wanted to show off). This guys thinks its hilarious. An hour or so later, my exes brother shows up, walks up to me, and begins to beat the living shit out of me. I've been in fights, I've gotten jumped before, but the rage that this guy was unleashing on me was worse than any beating I've had. Turns out the guy I told the story to is best friends with my exes brother. I ended up getting kicked out of the house and not getting a bid to pledge. Haven't spoken to my ex since.
TL;DR: | I told someone I had sex with a girl not knowing he's best friends with her brother and then had the shit kicked out of me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Sleeping problems
POST: So my girlfriend and I have been together now for almost a year and a half. Our problem is that for her to sleep she has to have the T.V. on. If it's not on she claims that it takes forever to get to sleep(which in my opinion it doesn't take her any longer than w/ the TV on) I think the reason she has to have it on is that she had an over stimulated childhood. Her mother always had her in front of the TV, she grew up in the city, and always had things going on all the time. I on the other hand grew up in the country and was only allowed a few hours of TV a night and so on. I really enjoy silence and I'm a pretty light sleeper. When I fall asleep with the TV on it wakes me up and I just feel like I don't sleep well at all.
I've talked to her about sleeping with it off and she refuses and says that she can't. She will sometimes turn it off but then tosses and turns and acts like the silence is killing her until I eventually tell her to just turn it back on.
I was just wondering if any of you could help me either think of an idea so she can listen to the TV without disturbing me or there was something she could try and help her sleep without the TV on.
We've tried ear plugs for me and a sleeping mask, but I pull the mask off while I'm asleep and the ear plugs only work moderately well.
At this point I'm about to suggest separate beds in different rooms just so I can sleep.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend can't sleep with the TV off, I can't sleep with it on. Need ideas to remedy the situation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: My First Job
POST: I started working at a communications compay that does data collecting. We're telesurveyors not telemarketers. The pay is great, $8 an hour and I'm only required to work three days for four hours each a week (I am working more of course). But it is extremely boring. Sitting in a cubicle, dialing and redialing numbers, yaddah yaddah.
I understand, for those we call, how annoying it is and how you don't want to do surveys despite the fact that we do need your opinions and you sometimes get free stuff/money for it. I understand but there is no need to be rude. Our job isn't fun. I feel like I'm Winston Smith in my little cubicle, being monitored by my supervisors since I'm new. But please, don't be rude. The more people are rude, the more they'll get call-backs (trust me, person next to me was doing it). Just tell us politely and we'll go away.
But despite all that and five hours of boredom plus over 250 calls, I only got one survey done. Which had been a nice lady in Oklahoma who had started the survey already. I know she probably won't see this but thank you, you made my night. You were very sweet and completely understanding whenever I would pause and sometimes stumble on my words (it was technically my first day). But thank you so much.
TL;DR: | Try to be polite to us telesurveyors, our job kinda sucks but it is our job. Also to the only respondant who did the survey, thank you. You made my night. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [27F] fiance [28M] of 4 years has become more secretive about his recent texts/chats over recent time.
POST: We're long distance since he's attending law school out of state. He's always been a bit of a loner, and in all the years that I've known him he's never held long text convos. Well, until recently. The last time I saw him (6 months ago), he wouldn't let me touch his phone. Normally, he doesn't care. I didn't think too much into it bc we were in a bad place at that time. Time passes and we're better now. Recently, he asked me to DL whatsapp. Now I see him on ALL the time. He's suppose to be studying hardcore for his tests but ya how is he gonna do that when he's always on.
That's when I started wondering wth is going on. I asked him about it and he said he has a group chat with friends. Ok cool. But now I'm noticing he's not answering me or taking forever and won't answer questions when I ask. I could be just paranoid, I dunno.
TL;DR: | Antisocial fiancé suddenly becomes social, but leaving out who/what he's talking about when in the past it was normal. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22F] with my boyfriend [21M] 7 months and his bathroom habits
POST: Really random and sorta awkward question.
My boyfriend and I have been together for just over 7 months. We don't live together. We see each other about 3-4 days a week.
Whenever my boyfriend needs to take a poop, he'll bring his phone into the washroom. He watches videos or plays some games. My problem is he'll spend anywhere from 20-40 minutes in the washroom. He was talking to one of his buddies who also takes an insanely long time in the washroom and mentioned that he only really takes a poop for about 10 minutes and the rest is just messing around on his phone. Recently he's been spending a lot more time in the washroom too. Last time I was with him, he had to "poop" three times that day.
Is this a normal thing guys do? Is he bored of me?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend takes unnecessarily long bathroom breaks up to three times when we're together. Not sure if it's me or if it's normal. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18/M] have a crush on my coworker [18/F] of one year. Need some help!
POST: I've been working with this girl for about a year now and, although I've thought of her as being really cute and kind since the beginning, I've recently developed a crush on her.
The more I've talked to her, the more I realize how nice she is and, even though she seems to have drama with people outside of work, I don't feel like she looks for it. I just feel like it has to do with the crowd she hangs out with.
She's my assistant manager and has told me in the past that I'm one of her favorite workers. When we work alone together she seems to share personal stories with me that I don't notice her telling other people and she's always happy to see me.
My other friends at work are more confident than me and hug/ put their arms around the girls whenever they feel like it. My crush is cool with it, but I'm always too nervous and never know if it's the right time. She's given me hugs in the past, but I feel shitty for never initiating them myself.
I've dated a few girls, but I've become more shy over the years (partially due to a bout with panic disorder and a lack of female friends in the past few years) so, around pretty girls, I'm always noticing my awkward demeanor/ lack of ability to think of more topics in a conversation. She likes talking to me and I haven't noticed her get annoyed when I feel like I'm being boring.
She's dated plenty of guys in the past , but she's been single for quite a while now. She's mentioned how she's curious about being with another girl, which makes things a bit more daunting for me; but I feel like, if she is into me at all and I'm brave enough to somehow ask her out, I'll have a chance.
TL;DR: | I'm really into my coworker and she's super nice to me, but I'm not totally sure if she likes me. I also need some tips on asking her out and maybe just improving my general confidence. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with 21 F talking for 1 month, not sure what happened.
POST: Hey everyone so here is the deal. I met this girl at a club about a month ago. We really hit it off that night, talked for about two hours and then I asked to kiss her and we proceeded to make out for a little bit. Got her number and talked to her non stop for about 3 weeks. She lives 100 miles away which really sucks, but I told her whenever I have off work I'd try to see her and she said she would do the same for me. Last week we went on our first date to a local bar by her house to grab food and a beer. It was a really pleasant night as we proceeded to kiss more at the bar. Went back to her place and started making out which she starts telling me she doesn't want to have sex on the first date which I said was totally fine. She blew me and when I tried to satisfy her she just told me she would take care of me. I leave in the morning with a goodbye kiss and told her I had a great time and she did also. About two days later I get a text saying how she isn't sure if she can trust guys or even likes guys because how many times she got screwed over. She also said she "doesn't know what she is feeling right now". I said for what it's worth I care about her and that I'm a genuinely good person. I told her listen I can't force you to trust me so whenever you are ready I am here and if she wanted I would be down to just be friends because she is a cool person. She said "ok thank you". No contact now for a few days, wondering on what to do here. Thanks for reading.
TL;DR: | Went on awesome first date, said she doesn't really trust guys. No contact for a few days, this sucks. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I felt paranoid, I read his texts. I was right all along.
POST: Hey reddit. To start off with, 17f dating 20m. Long distance relationship. Well, We've been together for a year and four months. I've been paranoid the most part of this relationship. He's always been the sensitive one. Sometimes a bit of a pushover. Amazing for the most part.
Made me lovely handmade cards, given me one of the most sentimental belongings he has, bought me things, lent me money. Just really the most amazing boyfriend I thought.
Recently, he left his phone in a taxi before heading home so tonight the taxi driver dropped it off. I did tell him, I wouldn't look through his texts. Paranoia got the better of me. I wish I hadn't looked. He recently, sent text to this girl saying that he fancied her and that he was more kinkier than her. Also wishing she was outside his window. I have spoken to him about this.
I know I've broken his trust looking through his phone. He said he was wondering what her "motive" was. But he's just done much worse. I don't want this relationship to end. I love this boy to pieces and we've been through so much together. Reddit, any advice for me? :(
TL;DR: | Boyfriend cheated, I'm left heartbroken, he's more interested in clubbing then trying to sort this mess out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: So today I [16 M] was at a school performance (band) and a cute classmate [15 F] who I'm friends with (and have been since ~November) puts her head on my shoulder
POST: So yeah we were at a band concert waiting in the auditorium seats and she kept resting her head on my shoulder. After the first time I rested my head on hers all movie-style and once made to put my arm around her.
Hint; I'm awkward and only had one previous relationship.
Is she just being a confusing girl or flirting or hinting or what? I also got her phone number and we have Snapchatted some so it isn't like we barely know each other. We sat together with some other of our friends at Basketball/Football games since we would play in Pep-Band.
TL;DR: | I'm an awkward highschool guy and a cute girl rested her head on my shoulder. Ofc I have no clue what to do. What does it mean?!? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm[21F] worried he[26M] only wants a casual thing/might pick someone else
POST: I've been dating a really amazing guy for about a month and even though we aren't exclusive, I'm not seeing anyone else. This is partly because I just find it exhausting to see multiple people at a time, partly because I just don't get that many offers, and partly because I genuinely like him and don't feel the need to shop around at the moment. But because we aren't exclusive and it's been such a short time, I'm pretty sure he's seeing someone else. (Somewhat unrelated but still relevant: I am also concerned that he's a little uncomfortable with the age difference and the fact that I'm not already on a career path, although I am motivated and want to go on to graduate school in the near future and then get a real career.)
My main problem is that I'm constantly afraid he'll pick the other girl. I don't need something serious immediately, but I do want to be in a serious relationship sooner rather than later. I could see myself getting serious about this guy, which makes it harder to ignore the fact that I'm probably being compared to this other girl all the time. Furthermore, I feel like addressing the fact that I've figured out he's seeing someone else and it makes me uncomfortable/jealous will make him think I'm escalating the relationship too quickly and drive him away. I really don't want to stop seeing him, but I'm afraid I'm going to get hurt in the long run. I have no idea what to do. Any advice?
TL;DR: | How do you say, "I want to take this slow but I also want to be serious in the near future?" How do you deal with knowing a great guy will probably pick someone else? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26M] ended a 3 year relationship with my GF [25F] 2 months ago and I'm feeling more miserable than ever. Is this normal?
POST: Last year my GF moved country to start a new job so I happily followed since I loved this girl with all my heart. I struggled with the new language, getting settled and ultimately finding a career so I came back home 4 months to continue my career here.
We had done the long-distance thing a little before but this time it was hell. It was torture for both of us. After two months of this nightmare stress I decided to end things. There was no fulfillment anymore, no happiness and we were gaining nothing from the relationship. She was obviously heartbroken but ultimately she agreed it might be best.
Now two months later, I'm miserable. I think of her every minute. I miss her, I want her, I feel like I need her. She had everything I look for in a partner. Everything! But I know our relationship couldn't have lasted. We both had issues that made eachother incompatible. She's a planner, I'm laidback. She can be jealous, needy and admittedly manipulative. They're traits I cannot live with. But no matter what, I still can't get her our of my head. She's so stunning, smart, creative, talented.
I stupidly slept with some girl last weekend and I cried like a little girl the second she left. The sex was alright but it just felt so hollow; meaningless.
Did I do the right thing? Is it normal for me to feel these things eventhough it was ultimately me who pulled the trigger? Her birthday is this week and all I want to do is buy her the best, biggest, most meaningful gift I can but I know I can't and it hurts so much. Help anyone?
TL;DR: | I broke up with my GF and it hurts a lot more than I thought it would. No feelings of liberation, only misery and doubt. Normal or have I made a mistake? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [17m] need some advice with how to act around other people
POST: I've run out of options and im not even sure if this is the right place to even put this, but here is goes. Well just a little back story, I have been home schooled my entire life, grade 1 through 12. I guess I really just don't know how to act around other people, emotionally, physically and verbally, if that makes any sense. I might hug someone when its not the right time, or maybe just shut down and say or do something stupid. I have tried to make friends in the past and have had pretty good success, but it never lasts very long, maybe because I don't know when, or how to keep in contact with them, and they eventually drift away. Anyway, getting to the point, there is this girl that I have know sense 8th grade, lets call her jenna, because thats her real name. Since the day I met her, there was this spark between us, but we never really acted upon it. A couple of months ago, I finally told her how I really felt about everything and that I wanted to be more then just friends. We're dating now, but in all of our conversations, I always try and keep is as short as possible because honestly, I have no clue what to say. If she asks a question, Ill always answer but, I just, I don't know how to be, I dont know, Interesting, I know thats probably not the right word but I could really use some help. Sorry that was so long and for any typos/ spelling, my phones screen is too small to see well.
TL;DR: | Socially awkward guy who has been in a relationship for two months and still has no communication skills what so ever, and would like to change that |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [30/m] with [28/f] girlfriend. She has trust issues or something and is acting like a child.
POST: I am a pretty happy go lucky guy with a lot of free-time. Gf works a lot and occasionally puts in long hours. Here is where it goes south and then i turn into the shady selfish boyfriend per gf. I Tell her I am going to golf and won't have my phone with me, but will text when I am finished. Next thing I know the round is taking forever and we are finishing 4-5 hrs after we started. Text GF back that we just finished and she is pissed that I didn't take my phone with me and goes on silent mode. This can't be healthy right?
TL;DR: | GF can't seem to go 4-5 hrs without talking to me and thinks I am a shady/selfish boyfriend if something like that happens. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Need help navigating a new relationship with a recently divorced guy [F-24 and M34]
POST: Hey Reddit,
I am struggling with a new relationship and what to do. I [F-24] have been dating a guy [34] since October. We both felt a lot of chemistry for each other when we started dating, but he is recently divorced (just over a year) so we agreed to take things slow.
We have been hanging out about once a week since October and our time together is really nice. He is sweet, funny, smart, and the sex is amazing. The problem is that I do more of the setting up dates - he is sometimes slow to reply to texts and e-mails. When I went away for several weeks, he only e-mailed me once after I had already been gone a week and sent him two e-mails. But then when we see each other, he is always very sweet and seems really into me.
My feelings for him have started to get more serious over the past few months and I'm struggling with how to deal. I don't want to keep at this once/week pace and not hear from him for days on end. I'm ready for this to be more of a relationship. I tried bringing up my feelings recently, and he said I was really important to him but he is struggling with being in a new relationship and what love means due to the end of his marriage. He changed the topic really quickly, and it was late so I didn't want to push it.
Since then, he hasn't responded to a text I sent 24 hours ago asking him if he'd like to spend time together this weekend. I know he has his phone on him most of the time, so I feel upset that he is just ignoring it. Should I just completely back off and make other plans for the weekend? Push for a conversation or send him an e-mail to let him know how I feel?
What do reddit?
TL;DR: | Been dating a recently divorced man since October. My feelings have progressed, but I can't tell what's going on with him or how I should deal with it. Do I push for a conversation, or back off? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by being an 18yr male w/painted nails
POST: My fuck up was today. I (white cis-middle class male) had a couple days previously had the nails on my left hand painted black by a friend of a friend as a joke. My friend also had his painted, but had it taken off right away. I kinda liked it (not gay, just keep an open mindset about stuff) so i kept it because fuck it, why not? I didn't try to hide it from my parents who are conservative Catholics (i'm an antinatalist atheist), but they didn't say anything so I thought maybe they were gonna respect one of my choices for once. This was very incorrect. Three days later, when i'm browsing reddit about to go out for new years (its 6:00 CST in Minneapolis) my mom sees me typing with my left hand and gasps from the stairwell while looking into my room. She runs in grabs my hand and starts screaming. "What is this? Not in this household! Who do you think you are!!! This isn't fucking 'cool' you idiot." She forces my hand into the sink and drowns my hand in rubbing alcohol and starts scrubbing furiously while mumbling insanely to herself. She's probably not gonna let me go out anymore, but anyways fuck that bitch.
TL;DR: | TIFU because my mom "caught" me, an 18yr old male, with black nails and flipped shit. Mandatory Happy Fucking New Years Reddit!!! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [M/18] and my [F/18] going on 2 years relationship and getting bored and jealous of single friends. Advice ? [M/18] and [F/18]
POST: So I've been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years now and things are very settled down now. We see each other almost every day and are currently house sitting for 2 weeks. Recently i have been finding myself becoming more and more bored of our relationship. This is my first girlfriend and was my first everything (female friend, kiss, sex ect), i was the first of my social group to start seeing a girl and over the last year my friends have started to catch up. I found myself becoming jealous of my friends who get to go out to the pub/bar and hit on girls and take them home, or flirt with girls at parties.
There have been times where a girl has shown interest in me, and it's only due to the fact that i forgot to mention my girlfriend to them. I would never cheat on my girlfriend, and i do feel guilty thinking the way I do.
My girlfriend doesn't have many friends, she gave most of them up once we started getting more serious and is very dependent on me. My girlfriend has had previous boyfriends and is pretty sure she wants to stay with me, marry me, have kids in the future. I'm not going to lie but that does sound nice, but i feel like i am missing out on my teenage years of enjoying life by tying myself down to one girl at such a young age.
Half of me wants to stay with her because she makes me happy, then 5 minutes later we are arguing over some pointless shit and i hate being around her. I'm honestly so confused right now and don't know what to do, i am honestly just looking for opinions on my current situation and if others can relate to me.
TL;DR: | 50% want to stay with gf and 50% want to enjoy life while i'm young. Confused about what to. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My best friend (19 M) has feelings for me (19 F), and I have feelings for him too, but I'm not sure if I should risk our friendship for something more.
POST: Okay, so Jeff (not his real name) and I have known each other for most of our lives. He's been there for me through everything, through terrible breakups, my dogs dying, my beautiful niece being born, my acceptance to college, literally everything. It wasn't until he went away to college last year that I realized I had feelings for him. I was afraid to tell him for multiple reasons, I wasn't sure he felt the same towards me, and I was scared he would stop being my friend, but when he came back home this summer, he confessed his feelings for me. I was ecstatic. We've done nothing but spend time together since he's been back, but I'm still too afraid to commit for the fear of losing the only person who knows absolutely everything about me.
Jeff and I have been best friends for years, is it honestly worth the risk of losing our friendship for the chance at true love?
TL;DR: | Best friend confessed his feelings for me, I'm scared of losing our friendship for a potential lifelong partner. I'm not sure what to do. Advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: My Uncle pisses me off and how do I learn to blow things off and not ruminate on them?
POST: I am finishing up college and currently I live with my Mom and two other family members. One of them is my Uncle. He is a good guy at heart and has lots of great stories from his golden years but I'll admit he irritates the shit out of me. He has the shortest fuse out of anybody I know and is probably one of the most downright arrogant people as well. When he talks to me and anyone else, a lot of the times, he talks down, as if he is speaking with a subordinate or someone lesser than. A lot of times when people say something is first reaction is "No" and then he proceeds to correct you, without even conceding that he may be wrong in the first place. In general, I just don't like his tone and the way he carries himself. Sometimes I think he's alright and then others I just wanna tell him to go blow a tranny.
Like, for example, tonight I walked into the kitchen and we started a casual conversation about where I was going. I told him that I was heading to get a Hookah (tobacco smoking device) and all of a sudden the conversation went from casual to an interrogation with him making judgmental faces and saying "You don't think smoking is a big deal?". This was after I told him that it wasn't a big deal, just something I like to do to mellow out with buddies.
Anyways, any tips on how to deal with people like this and how to blow people off and just be more thick skinned in general?
Thanks NEEDED TO VENT!
TL;DR: | My uncle is a controlling, arrogant, asshole and I wanna know how to just blow him off and not let him get under my skin so much. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by jinxing my cousin.
POST: My cousin recently came over from Vietnam and one of the first things he was able to accomplish was getting his drivers license. He passed the driving test in one try and would not stop boasting about it (I failed my first driving test for going 10 miles under the speed limit for being too nervous). Fast forward a week he wants to drive me everywhere now and so I device to let him drive me to the gym. We approach this light and I kid you not, he stops at a yellow light which he had plenty of time to pass, and decides to go once the light had turn red. I definitely felt unsafe in his car and said, "well shit man with the way you drive, I'll bet 100$ that you'll crash before we even get home." and at this exact moment after I said this, he stupidly avoids a car two lanes away while making a u turn and makes a full impact into a tree on my side, so my head slaps against the glove compartment and bounces right back into the seat like a boomerang, and now I'm over here trying to comprehend what had just happened while waiting for the tow truck to arrive.
TL;DR: | my cousin sucks at driving, miraculously passes driving test from playing gta5 all day, my life was put in danger from his driving skills that are equivalent to a raccoon. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Once a cheater, always a cheater? Women/men of reddit....
POST: I recently came clean to my boyfriend that I had cheated on him while he was away on vacation at the beginning of our relationship. We've been dating for 3 years and like every relationship, have had our ups and downs. I'd always said that I would never cheat on a SO because my father had cheated on my mother. While he was gone, I got lonely and couldn't control myself, and I was still getting use to the fact I had a boyfriend. I didn't think about telling him because it was so close to the beginning of our relationship that I discredited the significance of that night. We're ok now, but it feels good to have come clean. What have your motives been for cheating on your SO?
TL;DR: | Cheated on my boyfriend at the beginning of our relationship, just told him. Motives: new relationship, new bf gone, lonely and horny.....what have your reasons for cheating been? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is [M/19] just having a bad day with me [F/16] ?
POST: We've been together for 2 years and 4 months. I just had my hair dyed, and I got the courage to put it down for him (I have insecurities and I hate my hair.) He didn't say anything about it today, which is weird because he always tells me how cute I am with it, etc. Today I went over to his house to watch Skyfall. (I hate movies; gave this a 4/10.) He says nothing as I walk in, and sets his laptop up to the TV. I watch it, calling it stupid/cliché to every action movie ever (my fault) and we watch the 2.5 hour movie on complete opposite sides of the room, while I casually hope he comes over to be you know, affectionate. He doesn't. I don't go for him because at this point I'm disappointed. So we basically ignore each other.
Movie is over, he's got an hour before work. He gets ready and I wait for him. He asks if I'm ready to be taken to his work (My grandparents met up to get me from there). I nod, still slightly pissed he was acting weird. I really just wanted a hug...something. I get nothing. We don't talk on the way to his work. I start to feel tears burning my eyes but he doesn't notice.
We get to his work and I get out to wait. He sits on his phone, I tell him today was a waste (I could have been out doing chores for my grandparents) and he says nothing. I sit on the curb, eyes ready to flow, and he was just...so distant and cold.
I just checked Facebook, and he posted a status like, "...currently working towards a future that I'm starting to not want to be a part of. " And then sent me a text along the lines of "learn to be something other than an ungrateful bitch." Which felt HORRIBLE, and something he's never done. And we were so happy the last few days. I have no idea what it is. I don't care if it was his fault or mine. I want to make it better.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend was distant and ignoring me, and called me names. Is it a bad day or is this how he genuinely feels? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: On a scale of 1 to creepy, how weird would it before me (18/M) to invite a new friend (18/F) on a trip? [xpost from /r/relationships]
POST: I should state from the outset that I have zero romantic intentions here. (I've got a girlfriend I'm steady with.) I just think it'd be fun to have her along, and adding one/two more people would help cost savings as well for hotel rooms.
Anyway, background. My friends and I have been planning a trip to Canada for a monthish now, for over break once fall quarter ends. It's 6 of us right now, four guys, two girls, possibly a third. I only know one of the people on this trip well (but he's a great friend). We plan on staying up there for three days/two nights, but might abridge it to two days/one night. We're taking a bus up, and staying in hotels with 4 people to a room, split by gender. The trip is about 2 weeks out at this point.
There's a girl in one of my courses this quarter who I didn't really start talking to until the last few weeks. It's just been chit-chat whenever we bump into each other on campus/online, but we do have friends in common, and we have talked about hanging out sometime.
Would it be weird to invite her (plus a mutual friend perhaps, if that possibly a third from above falls through) on this trip? I'm thinking it's more on the yes-that's-creepy side, but I'd like your input here, since I feel like it'd be fun if it did work out. She seems to be more familiar with the area we're visiting than we are, too. Thoughts?
TL;DR: | I'd like to invite someone I just met on a trip, partially to get to know them better, partially because having more people is fun. But I feel like it could be weird/creepy to do so. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By Laughing at My Girlfriends Dad
POST: TIFU: This happened several months ago, I'm sure you guys will give me crap about it. Anyway...
I started dating a girl and we got pretty serious pretty fast. I wanted to meet her family after hearing so much about her crazy dad. My girlfriend was always telling me about how her dad would always make up ridiculous stories, so if he said anything that seemed like bullshit, it was in fact bullshit.
My girlfriends dad has a wicked sense of humor, which is strange since he is a pastor. I am terrified that I'm going to make a bad first impression, but my girlfriend keeps reassuring me that I'll be fine. We get to the restaurant, I meet her dad, and within the first five minutes of meeting this guy he says that he abuses women. My face went from happy new puppy to deer in headlights real quick. My girlfriend reassured me he was bullshitting so we move on and so does dinner.
I hold steady conversation with her parents and we start talking about education and career paths. My girlfriend's parents both have Masters degrees so it was interesting to hear what they had to say about school. My girlfriends dad said he couldn't believe how well he did for himself as a high school dropout. Knowing that the man has a Masters degree I erupt with laughter. No-one else at the table laughs. He actually was a high school dropout, he got his diploma and got through college. Cue me apologizing dozens of times. Finished dinner with her parents and drove back to school feeling like a complete idiot. Fast-forward almost a year later her parents love me. I still get crap for laughing at her dad the first time I met him though.
TL;DR: | Met my girlfriends dad, who is a professional bullshitter, for the first time. He mentioned being a highschool dropout, I laughed. He really was a highschool dropout. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By offending someone I admire at my favorite anime convention ever
POST: This is my first post to TIFU, but I think it's a good one because I'm still crying about it....
Here goes.
This past memorial day weekend was FanimeCon. It's my favorite convention ever, and this year I was lucky enough to staff it.
An Internet celebrity often goes there to staff a booth in Dealers hall, and I like to stop by and say hi and try to impress him because I'm an idiot.
This past Sunday, I stopped by and said hello, and took up twenty minutes of his time trying to be funny, and made an off colour joke about Monty Oum that was made in the r/rwby subreddit after he died. I then kept making bad jokes. He said nothing, and there was a line. I left a few minutes later not realizing what an asshole I'd been.
Today, I'm browsing tumblr, and I see a post about how someone had offended him at the Con. I frown and think, "Now what idiot did that?" I click read more, and find out, lo and behold, it's me! I'm the asshole! And he's going to report me to the staff people because I made an off color joke and made him very angry.
I was just trying to be funny in a dark humor sort of way. I wanted to make someone who made me laugh, laugh. And now I've gone and fucked it up because I'm socially awkward and don't know when to stop talking. I didn't know I'd angered him, because he didn't say anything hoping I'd go away.
I don't think he'll ever want me to say hi at the convention again, and I'm pretty sure I've pissed off a lot more people because he posted about it on twitter and tumblr. I apologized to both him and his wife on twitter, but I'm fairly certain he hates me now.
And since he's going to report me, I might not get to staff the con next year, all because I'm an idiot who doesn't know when to stop talking.
I apologized via Tumblr and Twitter, but he probably won't see it. I hope he does, because I want him to know how sorry I am.
TL;DR: | Made very bad joke about Monty Oum dying to an Internet celebrity who I think is absolutely amazing. Pissed him off without meaning to instead. Am very sorry about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: First time traveler visiting Asia alone from May through June
POST: I am a 20 year old male from Sweden, I have traveled quite a bit despite my (relatively) young age. I have been to USA, Kenya, Russia, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Finland, Netherlands, Denmark.
The thing is, I have been with my family and/or friends during these trips. However, I feel as if it would be fun to go on a trip alone. I have been working to save up about 5000€ and flights have so far been calculated to about 1k€.
My idea at the moment is to visit Japan for about two/three, then South korea for about two/three weeks, Taiwan for a single week, Thailand for two weeks, and Hong Kong for another week before returning home.
Simplified: Japan -> South Korea -> Taiwan -> Thailand -> Hong Kong.
I am sort of lost however in what activities would interest me, I mean, I really am fascinated by asian culture, and there are many things that I would like to see, but scimming through the older threads doesn't really get me less confused-
With the budget of 4000€ i would have about 66€ per day for living expenses, food, souvenirs, activites. Is this reasonable, or do I need to make my budget larger?
I work in a kitchen, and am very interested in asian cuisine, however, I am not too entirely sure what would be something that I ~cannot~ miss when visiting each country, as I want to make as much of the trip as possible, it doesnt have to be fine dining, but something that is essential to each countrys or cities kitchen.
I would also like to visit shrines and historical places, which I think will be manageble by the various travel books. But something that could be a bit more difficult is that I am also interested in seeing the nightlife of these countries. I enjoy seeing fucked up shit so I guess Japan will be good for that, but I've also heard that the yakuza control quite a bit of who is to enter or not, and will this be a problem as a westerner?
TL;DR: | I would like any advice to what places I could visit in any of these countries and some advice on what would be wise for a solo traveler in these large cities. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [22F] tell my dad [50M] that I'm not coming to his Christmas?
POST: My father and I have had a rocky relationship but I can't ever really stay mad at him for long. He's battled a very bad drug addiction, jumped from relationship to relationship after he and my mother split, and has moved further and further away from me without letting me know until he's already purchased the property. Someone may recall a previous post of mine where I found out my father was engaged to his 27 year old girlfriend by her posting it on Facebook.
Anyways, my boyfriend and I went out to visit my dad (he lives in a different province now) and had a lovely visit. I thoroughly enjoy spending time with my dad. During the trip, my dad kept dropping hints about my boyfriend and I flying out for Christmas at his expense. Christmas is easily my favourite holiday (I am one of those crazy holiday loving people that decorate the entire house, even Christmas toilet seat covers) and I've always spent Christmas with my mom. My boyfriend also has Christmas obligations however he told my dad that we might go out to see him. I know my boyfriend was just trying to be nice but I kind of wish he didn't get my dad's hopes up. My dad has asked me several times over the years while he's been on his own or with new girlfriends that he wants me to spend Christmas with him.
I feel really bad because I love my dad but holidays to me always mean my mom. My dad means well but I do have some lingering issues from him leaving my mom on Christmas Day for another woman, all of the times he has disappeared to do drugs and just never showed up, etc.
I told him that my boyfriend and I have prior engagements but that isn't really doing much. He keeps saying that it would be nice for us to finally spend Christmas together, etc.
How do I let him down easy?
TL;DR: | My dad always thinks everything is peachy and expects me to fly out to see him over Christmas. Need some advice on how to let him down easy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: My date [28M] from a dating app did not kiss me [22F] on our first date
POST: Hi /dating_advice!
So I[22F] went on to a casual date with a guy[28] I met through an online dating app. Initially we planned to have a coffee and chat for two hours or so, but the date ended up being 4-5 hours long. He knew I had work related plans afterwards which got postponed for couple of hours but he stayed around. We walked and talked and laughed a lot, and it seemed to me that we both had a great day. I should also add that he is extremely good looking, very nice and has good manners.
During the date we talked about seeing each other again sometime -and this conversation came up couple of times-. But he never kissed me. I should also add that I live in a conservative country but I am not a conservative person. Maybe he thought kissing on the first date might freak me out? I want to go with this theory, considering he spent 1/5th of his day with me and did not disappear after half an hour or so. And after we left he texted immediately telling me he had fun etc.
So what do you think? He likes me? He doesn't like me?
TL;DR: | I [22F] went on a date with a guy[28] I met through an online dating app, and had a great time but he did not kiss me |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [14M] brother told me [18M] that he saw our father [55M] masturbating and watching porn, and I don't know how to handle it
POST: The other day my younger brother (we'll call him Ryan) told me that he came home from his friend's house and walked upstairs, and saw porn playing on the computer in our father's office and him sitting in a chair. He said he couldn't see exactly what he was doing, but he could guess. Ryan seemed very upset by what he saw. He was concerned about our parent's marriage (they've been happily married for 25 years) and seemed troubled overall. Ryan says our father doesn't know he saw him. He ran back outside after he saw what was going on.
Our father and family as a whole is pretty reserved. We don't talk openly about these types of things, and I know my dad would be very embarrassed if he found out my brother saw him.
I reassured Ryan that their marriage is fine, and that masturbating isn't evil or unhealthy. I ended the conservation quickly though because I felt really uncomfortable and was totally caught off guard. I always assumed my father masturbated, but I've never seen him do it. He's never talked to us about masturbation so it would be pretty uncomfortable bringing it up.
Should I tell my father about this? Should I talk to Ryan again? This happened a few days ago and he's still quiet around our dad. Thank guys!
TL;DR: | My younger brother saw our dad watching porn and masturbating. He came to me distressed, and I'm not sure what else I should do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I feel left out around other guys. Is it because I am awesome, different, behind the times, or weird?
POST: I'm a 24 year old college grad. I love all my local sports teams. I go hunting, fishing and hiking. I have a regular desk job. I don't do drugs. I go to happy hour. I only drink whiskey and beer. I like movies with boobs and explosions. I like wearing a suit. I pretty much wear business casual everywhere I go. I know 6 different ways to tie a knot.
Why do I feel so left out among guys? I literally hang out with girls just so I feel comfortable being uncomfortable about what they're talking about. You see all those "Men what the fuck happened?" posts? I go through that every day. I have about 3 friends that are like me. The rest of the male population is fucking weird.
I went out to dinner with a group of people, and the guys were sitting there talking about tanning and fucking hair dye. I ordered a regular beer and watch the guys down cranberry vodkas, bahama mama's etc. We talked more about Tom Brady's uggs (ONE OF THESE CLOWNS WAS WEARING A PAIR!!!!) than we did about Tom Brady playing Tim Tebow.
TL;DR: | I'm a regular guy. I don't like being around most other men because I think they're a bunch of pussies. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: PLEASE HELP -- my [20/f] mother [50/f] seems to be experiencing a serious mental breakdown !!!
POST: She hasn't left her bed all day and she won't speak except in a whisper to tell me she wants to be alone.
It first started following an incident this morning where my brother blew up and had a fit of rage over an argument. It was obviously disproportionate for the situation but it seems to have shocked my mother beyond words. I talked it through with my brother and he's fine now, and he apologized profusely for his behavior. But my mother can't get over it. She's prostrate in her room, crying all day. I am extremely worried. She hasn't said a word to me except she wants to be alone. Please point me to any resources to handle a mental breakdown. We are not in the US btw.
TL;DR: | my mother is having a mental breakdown over an incident with my brother where he got disproportionately angry. She hasn't spoken or eaten and has cried all day. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I'm [26/m] and my gf [22/f] for 1y6m keeps bringing up bad things(sexual) that she does not approve of.
POST: Hello, me and my gf don't have the same sexual past, I used to sleep around a bit and have one night stands and so on. But I was the first guy she ever went home with.
The thing is, when she is tired or angry she tends to take something that I have done (in the past) and ask me why I did it, what I was thinking and so on. She really wants me to say what I was feeling and say why I did this and that, how am I supposed to know my reasoning for doing things I did a few years back? I basically feel I am always defending my self for something I did before we were together. Fx. why I failed to use the condom one time or why I had one night stands or why I used to be so irresponsible. She finds all those things disgusting, but she tells me she knows I have changed. Even though, I feel that I am walking on a minefield, I never know when she might use something I have done to attack me, and all I can do is say I am sorry for what I did. I really like her, but how can I fix this? I have wondered if she might have some anxiety problems... I'm really lost here.
TL;DR: | I feel that my gf uses things I did in the past to attack me and I don't know what to do... |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my gf [24 F] for 3 years, im starting to feel like it's a drag. Need some tips.
POST: When I was 16 years old I met my gf, at the time she was 21 and was in a relationship. After getting to know her better and better, she cheated on her bf at that time, with me.
After a while she broke up with her then bf, and in about a month or so, we became a couple. We have been like this for 3 pretty solid years. I love her, I really do. But, with this being my first relationship ever I am starting to wonder what else there is in life/relationships.
My gf and I have allot of the same interests, like music and videogames, I feel this is like we get allong so well. And especially in the beginning I really enjoyed spending time with her. But lately it's becoming more of a drag.
As of late, I am starting to catch myself thinking about what it's like to have a relationship/seeing/sleeping with other people. I've told my gf that I felt a bit sad and weird(without specifiying anything yet), and she immediatly assumed it was her fault and she started feeling really bad. Wich it honestly it's not.
So im wondering if other people have experienced this, and if they did, how did they go about with it? Do u guys think it's a good idea to break up/ have a break, to increase my experience in life?
Or do you guys think that I should give it some time and maybe things will be better?
Hope you guys can give me some solid advice :)
TL;DR: | Been in a happy first-ever relationship for 3 years. Starting to wonder what else there is in life/relationships. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Need advice about girls
POST: So I'm going to try and make this as short as possible. I went to a party on Saturday night (today is Wednesday). I went with 4 of my boys and did not know anyone there other than my buddies. So, one of my friends (we'll call him Jim) and I were interested in two girls. The girls were the party host and her best friend. We chilled and talked with them all night, my buddy and his girl made out a lot and even ended up having sex. My girl and I just talked, which was great because she was a great talker and very smart! We stayed there until 7am the next morning before having to leave due to work. I felt a real connection to my girl and I have been in love with her since the party but there are a few problems:
1) She has a boyfriend
2) Her boyfriend does a lot of bad shit to her (I want to help her with this)
3) She's the complete opposite of me; I'm a "good guy" and she's a "bad girl". By that, I mean I don't do illegal shit and she does.
I don't know what it is that made me love this girl but now I can't stop thinking about her. I've never been attracted to a girl as much as I have with her. I text her every now and then and we talk for a bit, but the replies are really slow. She told me I'm really nice at the party and that she wanted to be friends even after the party, but I don't know what to do now. I can never picture myself being with her unless she changes her ways and stops doing most, if not all, of the bad shit she does. Hey, the quote *"good girls and no fun and fun girls and no good"* is applying here. But I feel like I love her so much cause she's the complete opposite of me and "opposites attract".
TL;DR: | Went to a party, met a girl who is the complete opposite of me (she's bad and I'm good) and fell in love with her but she's in a relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23M] am worried that my GF [22F] of 2 years is developing an eating disorder
POST: I've been with my girlfriend, whom we'll call Jenny, for 2 years. She is a perfectly normal size at 5'3 and 145 lbs, and has stayed that size throughout our relationship. She's mentioned feeling a bit insecure about her body in the past, but I wasn't concerned about it because it seems like most women feel the same way (unfortunately). However, in the past few weeks I've noticed some concerning behaviour from her.
I usually cook breakfast for Jenny in the morning because I wake up early. A week or two ago I made her her regular breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast, and she turned it down, saying she didn't feel like eating the same thing again (She usually eats the same meal every morning.). She made herself a small salad with no meat or dressing. I didn't think much of this. However she has continued to eat a similarly small breakfast every day. She's also eating smaller portions for lunch and dinner, for example last night she filled up her plate with vegetables but took only a small amount of mashed potatoes + one chicken wing for dinner. She has also stopped eating snacks at all, and she now drinks regular coffee instead of fancy lattes and such.
I casually commented on her eating habits yesterday and asked why she was making such a drastic change. She just said that she was "trying to be more healthy". I can appreciate this, but her food habits seem less like eating healthy and more like starving herself. However, I'm unsure about this because she hasn't displayed any signs of body issues before this. I also don't know how to voice my concerns to her without sounding insulting. Do you guys have any ideas? I'm very concerned about her.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend has drastically changed her food habits, despite having no need to diet. I'm worried that this is the beginning of an eating disorder. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My sister has offered me an out, is it worth it?
POST: Specifically, my older sister is planning on moving up to Anchorage, Alaska in about a year and a half to be closer to his family, and has made the offer that if I wanted to, I could move in with her. As asked on the tin, Is this worth it?
I currently am only just barely graduating high school, I have my own car, I have a job that will get me started on my education here (Community college, of course) while I wait, but otherwise there's nothing really keeping me here. I'm possibly planning on going into Culinary school, though I'm not sure if there's any decent places out in Alaska that would be able to teach me this well, let alone get me into a job somewhere. I'm also willing to consider Electrical Engineering for my Major, or Network Administration/Other computer stuff for my Major, as those three areas are essentially what I'm interested at this point in time.
I get along well enough with my sister, though I've never really met her husband (though I've heard we're pretty like-minded people), so I'm not even sure if this will simply drive me to get out as quickly as possible from there as well (which isn't necessarily a bad thing). I would like to be out living away from family, even if I had room mates down the line for a period of time.
Is it worth moving out of Michigan (where I currently live) in a few years into Alaska?
TL;DR: | Sister has offered to let me move from home in Michigan with her to Alaska in a year or so. Is college/job opportunities around there worth me moving out there instead of just staying at home? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: So there's this girl I kind of like in my res at university, but I've never been on a date before and need some helpful tips.
POST: Here's a little background information about myself:
* I'm 18 years old (19 in a month)
* First year university student
* I'm shy around girls I like
* I'm an excellent listener (if that has anything to do with it)
* I've started feeling down since most of my friends are in positive relationships (I also really want to meet someone nice)
That's why I told myself it's time to enter the dating world. The one downside? I have no idea what to do or where to start.
I've got a crush on one of my classmates from last semester. We don't share that class anymore, but are friends (to the extent where we acknowledge each other among the thousands of students in our residence) and have very recently started chatting online.
I'd like to ask her out at some point, but I have no idea what to do. I don't think I can really just go up to her now and randomly ask her out; least not now. But then I don't know when I should (I'm a lost cause at the moment).
TL;DR: | Shy guy around crush. Would like to ask her out but don't think it's possible at the moment.* |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I think he likes younger-looking girls?
POST: 23F he's 23M, dating for a year and a month, currently living together. We have an amazing relationship and sex life, we openly communicate with each other, it is almost perfect. Now, a few months ago, I was picking out movies for us to watch on his external and I accidentally stumbled on his spank bank.. Pictures of girls from a website called jailbait something. Not sure if they're really jailbait, or just look really young. I confronted him and he claimed his former best friend(who was realllly into younger chicks) download them onto his external(3 years ago). I called bull, he deleted them, we never spoke about this again. Last week, I opened his laptop(he knows I use it more than mine cuz it's a Mac and you don't need to close it) and found that he was previously watching porn of a really young looking porn star. It just bothers me cuz he's reassured me over and over again that he doesn't like younger girls and that they make him feel like a dirty old man, etc etc. It just makes me feel weird that he's spanking it to pictures/vids of younger chicks... It doesn't affect our relationship or sex life, but just knowing really bothers me for some reason. Am I unreasonable for feeling like this? I just need some insight..
TL;DR: | Boyfriend likes to watch porn of younger looking chicks even though he's assured me he doesn't. It makes me feel weird. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Need moving advice... (U-Haul will break my bank!)
POST: Hi all! Fishing for some advice here from anyone in the know....
I am a recent fine arts graduate from Wisconsin with a focus on woodworking / furniture making. For the past four months or so, I've had to put off my work due to a lack of a shop. I've managed to get some odd jobs here and there with people who have some tools that have been generous enough to let me use them, but it's generally been pretty sparse and I haven't been able to do a lot of (nay, any) satisfactory work. Also, being a recent graduate who's accumulated tens of thousands of dollars in debt without the slightest promise of a vastly lucrative career awaiting me after graduation, I'm shit out of luck when it comes to being able to start my own shop.
Anywho, last week, out of the blue, I was given a call from my mother's 2nd cousin (whom I've met only once, when I was two) whose husband had recently passed on. She had ran into my mother at a family event, heard about my situation and decided (in the absolute goodness of her heart!) that she would like to donate her husband's wood shop to me, no strings attached. After recovering from inevitable shock-induced coma, I decided to research the available options regarding the transportation of a wood shop's worth of power tools from Arizona to Wisconsin. Much to my dismay, it seems that a truck rental for the 4000 mile trip is about as financially debilitating as purchasing the tools myself (admittedly, this may be an exaggeration, but I''m looking at rates of $0.60-0.70 a mile which comes out to around $2500 for the rental alone!) I don't own a vehicle, and at the moment, I can't conceive of any that I might be able to borrow that wouldn't tip right over backwards at the sight of a trailer hitch. Does anyone have any suggestions / recommendations / funny anecdotes that might be useful for my aforementioned debacle? Clearly, even the U-Haul ass-raping puts me well ahead of where I'm at presently, but I'm the kind of guy who likes to have his cake and eat it too...
TL;DR: | >> Need to move a lot of woodworking equipment 2000 miles across the US, but am discovering that moving truck rental is well out of my price range....advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Second chance with an amazing girl?? [23 M] pursuing [18F]
POST: So a few months ago I met a girl on a dating site. She was closeby, cute, and brimming with personality. First date landed a kiss and good first impression, she just came over to my place for a few hours. Next evening she comes over for a movie. We discuss briefly about how neither of us are looking for anything too serious, and she tells me she's seeing at least one other guy. We agree to an open deal, we have some great sex after cuddling up to a movie. Next day we have some more sex (lot of consecutive times ;)) and hang out. She's into a lot of the same stuff as me, has a nerdy appeal to her, and she's smoking hot.
I seriously start to develop feelings but cant really tell her... yet. Fast forward a week later, I take her to an outing to meet some of my friends, and we all come back to my place after for some drinks etc. We had sex again, for the last time =/ Over the next week I have her over just to hang out and meet some more of my crew. Things seem to be going great she's clicking well with everyone. The next week or so I try to make plans, some fall through. Finally she tells me she was looking for love, and loves her ex, and they're getting back together. She insists we should still hang out just as friends, because she genuinely enjoys her time with me according to her. I move on, tell her we cant be friends and distance myself. Today I find out shes single again. Whats the move??
TL;DR: | Hook up with a smoking hot and intelligent 18yr old girl couple months ago. She gets back with ex after a few weeks, and is now single again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/GetMotivated
TITLE: Need some help
POST: Hi guys,
I just resigned from my job last week and still need to work there for another 3 months. Can anyone help me get motivated to give my all during these last 3 months? At the moment the stress surrounding the job and my dread of it is so pervasive that I am in no frame of mind to do that. My employer is one of the greatest guys I've ever met - and would like to just give it my all for the next 3 months. But I just can't find the energy in me..
I've already been pushing myself the last couple of months trying to see if I can actually continue working there (somehow magically become remotivated by the career), and my ability to push myself has just become limited. I could have given a month's notice, but we're actually in the midst of a big project and understaffed - so I told my employer I will stick around for another 3 months. Bad for me emotionally; but I want to help my employer out, but I need to be at the top of my game to do that.
Aside -
Leaving high-paying IT job to become an apprentice potter and pursue other things...things which were always important to me (writing, art, being fit, game design, physics, etcetera) but which has just fallen by the wayside the last couple of years. The stress, the long hours, the fact that I haven't learned anything mayorly new for the last couple of months - just isn't worth it more. Its game over.
TL;DR: | Need motivation to help me survive and give my best for the last three months in a job that I have come to hate |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: Should I quit my job, and if so, how?
POST: I am a full time student in Law School, just finishing my second year. I got an internship for the summer at a Malpractice Insurance Company, and will be doing that full time.
I have been working 20 hrs/week doing charitable gambling sales for a local nonprofit. It pays minimum wage plus tips (which have dropped in the past 2 years from averaging $80/shift to $20/shift). The nature of the job requires evening and weekend shifts, which has prevented me from socializing with my friends and attending family functions.
Most of my friends in school don't work, and with the internship I will be making nearly double what I am making at my current job. I will be able to save up for the summer, and live off of that money and student loans, allowing me to focus more on my last year of school. I'm also unsure if I will continue the internship in the fall, and if so, can't afford the time commitment of both jobs.
So...I'm wondering, if you were in my position, would you quit your job, or try and work at both, or just ask your boss not to schedule you until future notice?
How would you go about talking to your boss about it?
TL;DR: | I got an internship during the day, so I don't really need my evening and weekend job. Should I quit, and if so, how should I do it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Do I [17 F] have a responsibility to stay in contact with my Father [58 M], who is being a massive dick to me?
POST: I came out to my family three years ago, when I was 14, as transgender. My parents are separated, so I live with my mom and brother, and only visit my dad once in a while. Pretty much, the family that I live has been super okay with it, and I haven't had any problems with them (except for a bit of confusion from my brother, but that's done now). However, my dad has realllly not been nice about it. He has never really acknowledged that I'm female, and only consented to letting me start estrogen after about a year (thanks dad -_-).
Now that it's been three years, I'm starting to get more eager about living full-time as a girl, and it's also getting more complicated to "cover things up" (like body changes, having to constantly take pills). Everyone in my family except for my father is on board with me transitioning, and really just don't care. My dad, on the other hand, has made it pretty clear he will disown me. Now, normally, this wouldn't be a problem. If I could just say, "fuck you" and never see him again, that would be fine. But, that's just not the case.
If I do transition, my entire family will completely fragment, because my brother and mom have said that if he's gonna keep being a prick and disown me, they'll stop seeing him too. I feel like if I do go through with this and finally transition, my brother will be deprived of a relationship with his father, who he is kinda on sorta-good terms with (it's complicated), and will make things weird with him and my mom, who will still have to communicate with him about legal stuff after this. I really have no idea what to do. I don't want to break up my family, but I don't want to have to keep living so uncomfortably.
TL;DR: | I'm transgender and if I complete my transition I'll break my family apart. If I don't, my life will continue to suck. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I want revenge on my ex. Suggestions?
POST: My ex totally fucked me over. Royally, even. I seek revenge. I don't wish to do anything that could get me in legal trouble. I'm not trying to physically hurt this person. That is not my style. I have always been more of a "psychological warfare" type of guy.
My ex psychologically damaged me after I was there for my ex for 5 years, all the while enduring emotional, verbal and mental abuse because of the fact that this person is an alcoholic. A few times at the club, I would leave my ex for 5 minutes and come back to find my ex making out with strangers. This happened three times that I know of. Who knows how frequently it really occurred. My ex also would get so tanked that my ex would be extremely verbally abusive. There were times there near the end when I needed help very badly (going through severe psychological trauma) and my ex was not there for me. Actually, scratch the "towards the end" part. It was sporadic, all throughout the relationship.
TL;DR: | My ex severely psychologically damaged me through actions, and inactions. I still love this person deeply, and don't think that will ever be any different. However, I want revenge. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[24M] tried a LDR with [24F]. It went ballistic.
POST: Hello, I'll try to keep this as short as possible.
6 years ago I [M24] used to be pretty active in a certain online community and made some great internet friends, few of us still stay in touch. Among us there was a girl[F24] who was absolutely awesome to spend time with, we used to skype for hours at night, eventually we've developed feelings for each other but I tried to be reasonable and I explained how there is no chance we can make this work (we're from different countries). After that she cut ties with all of us and disappeared.
Fast forward to early this year, she contacted me casually and our conversation has quickly gotten out of control. She said she still liked me, I liked her back. She has changed physically and was absolutely alluring to me. We talked again for hours, she invited me over, promised a place to stay. We decided to meet up in a couple of weeks, see if we were compatible IRL aswell. We really discussed our past, our future, family, kids, where we're gonna live... pretty much what happens when people are not thinking clearly. I actually started taking this seriously and wondered about plane ticket prices, vacation plans, employment etc. I really wanted to try to make this work.
There was one problem: her ex who she said she still has some feelings for and she wanted to sleep with him one more time because he's leaving with his work for a couple of months. That was a big red flag which I just walked around smiling. When that day came (and so has her ex) I was really upset and voiced my concern. She turned things around and said that it was all my fault and I was being immature for getting angry about this. This is why she decided that there can be nothing between us other than friendship anymore. I lost my shit at this point and lashed out at her.
TL;DR: | used to be friends online with a girl for years, eventually decided to try LDR, then she slept with her ex and decided that she hates me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19/M] with my girlfriend [18/F] of 11 months constantly argue and I'm crushing on a girl [18/F] at work
POST: I've been in a relationship for 11 months now and we're almost always arguing once a day. It never seems to stop and it's depressing, but I'm steadily getting over it however each time we nearly break up it is resolved and we're back to square one. I feel terrible when i say things like it's over and I guess i succumb to guilt for making her feel bad.
Now, at work, there's this beautiful, funny and intelligent girl who herself has a boyfriend yet, I'm crushing hard on her. Like I said she's beautiful, and she's always making an effort to talk to me so I feel like she must feel something to me, as none of the other girls really go out of their way to turn around and smile and say hi, approach me and compliment the things I'm doing etc (that sounds sad, yet true). But, again, she has a boyfriend.
I'm stuck. I want to get out of my current relationship yet I don't want to be the one to end it nor am I positive about it; we have great times sure but we always fight. I also wanna talk to this girl/approach her about this but I'm not sure that's very wise as she has a girlfriend and i really don't wanna make it awkward. I'm almost always thinking if her too and it gives me a warm feeling inside. help :(
TL;DR: | im in an 11 month relationship, we constantly fight, I'm having a mad crush on this girl at my workplace and i think she likes me; not sure because she has a boyfriend . I dont know what to do |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My friend (18F) started college, I (22M) asked her to study together to get to know her better, she said no, when should I ask her to hang out again?
POST: So I know this girl from work, she just started college where I graduated from. I'm still in school just not full time right now. I wanted to get to know her better outside of work so I asked her to study together in the college library this weekend. She said she's studying with her friends and the library is too far from her home so she doesn't wanna go to the library.
I do like her but I don't want to make advances so early on since we are working at the same place. Right now I just want to get to know her better first during a normal hangout.
My question is, is she giving me excuses or is she really busy? She has school Mon-Fri and work at nights on some days, My work is on the weekdays so I can't go to school at least for this week. I know it's probably easier to hang out with her in the library during the weekdays
Since she said no this time, when should I ask her to hang out again? either she's giving me an excuse, or she doesn't want to go to the school library on the weekend since its far for her. Any idea what I should do next time?
FYI when she said no this time, I told her to let me know know when she wants to study together next time, she did ask me when I'm normally free, so It's not like she didn't try to propose another time. I just don't know how to ask her to hang out again without getting rejected again.
TL;DR: | girl said no when I proposed for a hangout/ study session at the school library, our time schedule seem to not match, should I try again? and when should I propose for another hangout? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] 15 months. I fucked up, guys. I don't know what to do.
POST: I've been with my girlfriend since January 2014. It's been great. We get along amazingly well. We just click. It's pretty smooth sailing since then. Maybe 1 or 2 little arguments, but nothing major. Until now.
We have mutual friend, we both follow on instagram. This friend posted a pretty revealing photo of herself, and I can't tell you what possessed me to like it. It may not seem like a big deal, but my girlfriend has body issues. I think she's beautiful, and sexy, and incredible, but when she saw that I had "liked" that picture, it destroyed her.
She isn't speaking to me. We don't live together, but we usually i.m. until one of us falls asleep. It's not that she's mad, she's sad. She's heartbroken. This is a big deal to her. I feel like the biggest piece of shit in the world. I'm going to catch her before she leaves for work, tomorrow, but I don't know what to say. I seriously think she may break up with me for this. Any advice helps.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend saw that I "liked" a friend's revealing picture on instagram. Might break up with me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 F] with my crush [26 M] need help on what to do next.
POST: So normally I like to think I'm very intuitive - but when it comes to my own love life I have no idea. I'd really appreciate some advice on what you think is going on / what to do next.
So there's a guy at my gym, he is so cute. I trained with him in class once, added him on Facebook and he ended up asking me out to watch a sports game for a team we both follow at a bar on Sunday morning (2 sunday's ago). He's not a big texter, and I normally am so I think this is what's confusing me. We talk on and off during the week (sometimes a day or two without talking), then on Thursday he asks if I want to play frisbee golf with him on that Friday. Have fun. Then I ask him if he wants to do dinner and we meet up on Monday (last Monday) for a picnic - unplanned to be this way, but super romantic, on the grass watching the sunset, seeing the stars. He kisses me when we are lying there and we make out a little bit. He texts me when he gets home for a brief chat til I fall asleep. Next day I text him, we chat, then he needs to sleep. Last time we talked, was on Tuesday. Now it's Friday.
I genuinely get the vibe he's interested, but just really really busy, and not really the type to chase after a girl or put her first over other things in his life (which suits me really well). I know he's also only ever had one GF before. But then my insecurities kick in and it's like, well he hasn't contacted me and he hasn't asked me on another date.. so it this dead in the water?
Should I text him today and ask him on another date or should I text him and just try chat with him? I do want to go on a date this weekend, but I'm worried that since he's not contacted me he's simply just not interested..
TL;DR: | Cute guy, three dates, last date had kissing. Haven't heard from him in a couple of days, want to initiate a date. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Is it okay to sit in a seat that someone is "saving" for someone not there yet?
POST: Last week I went to the movies to see the new X men with 5 of my friends. We got there a little late but we saw six open seats next to a couple in their early 20s. When we tried to sit in those seats we were told that 2 of them were "saved" for their friends who haven't gotten to the theater yet. The movie was about to start and we didn't want to cause a stir so we ended up splitting up for the movie. Most of us were still fairly ticked about it, because it's nicer to sit next to your friends in a movie.
TL;DR: | Can I sit in a spot that someone has saved for a person who isn't there yet? Have you ever done that? |
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge
TITLE: Some truly purposeless pettiness that proved no point whatsoever.
POST: I'm currently in an intensive cellular biology lab. This stage of the process requires three consecutive days of lab work, which is mildly inconvenient for my schedule but oh well. I'll make it work. Unfortunately, my lab partner does not feel the same way.
On Tuesday, we began the protocol (I say *we* loosely, because he wasn't much of a help). After the appropriate host was transformed with expression plasmid, it was plated and left to incubate overnight in the body room. My lab partner's one responsibility was to pull the plates in the morning so we wouldn't end up with a lawn (distinct colonies are necessary for this process). SURPRISE – he forgot. I was vexed. But whatever. Let's just make the liquid cultures anyway and see what happens.
This is Wednesday night. I spoke to him at 11 am and texted him at 5 pm verifying that he had to be in the lab at 7 pm. He confirmed. All was well. At 7:30, just as I was getting out of yoga, I received a long string of snaps detailing how he was high and wouldn't be able to go into lab.
...
Really?
Fine. He's stressed. I get it. I go in and assemble the vials of liquid media and place them in the incubator. BUT, instead of alphabetizing our initials like I normally do, I placed mine first. Ha.
Now he'll have to see it in the morning and subliminally feel some guilt about being the worst.
**BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE**
Thursday morning. The day of the five hour procedure. I had to take time off work to make this fit into my schedule. My boss was unpleased. What's my point? I still made it into lab, despite having other obligations.
My lovely partner, however, went camping for a different class. So I spitefully labelled our flasks as "THE_72ND_PERCENTILE'S".
Take that. You don't even get an initial anymore.
_________________
TL;DR: | Don't fuck with me and science or I'll put my name all over goddamn everything and you'll get nothing fuck you Dave. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (22M) with ex (22F) need some advice on if I should break no contact and when?
POST: Hey guys, I've been lurking on here and have given some advice but, figured I could use some myself this time around. Here's the back story. Happy to elaborate if needed:
The ex and I had been together for 3 years and some change and broke it off just this past August. It happened for a variety of reasons but, the catalyst was us graduating and moving on to graduate school in different areas of the country. Neither of us wanted a long distance relationship and we could tell that we were fairly compatible but there were a few glaring issues which would make for a tough marriage. So we called it quits amicably and agreed to go no contact and left it open-ended as to whether we would contact each other again.
The first few weeks were pretty difficult but, I believe I've moved on. I'm not really lacking for friends or anything at this stage as I've managed to find a few great groups of people but... I really do miss the conversations we had and her just being my best friend. I don't want to talk to her every day or anything like that. I'd just like to have her in my life as a friend and know I can send that occasional funny article or interesting post I read on reddit like we used to. It's just hard to go from talking to, confiding in, and getting advice from someone every day for 3 years and then just cutting all ties. I'm prepared to completely stop talking to her if that's what she wants but, I think I at least should try to save the friendship.
So, reddit. Should I break no contact? If I do, how should I go about it so as not to be insensitive? When do I know it's the right time to do so? (I realize this last question is hard to make an objective call on but, while I have y'alls attention I might as well ask!)
TL;DR: | With ex for 3 years, been 'no contact' for ~ 4 months. Should I break 'no contact'? Why/why not? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: can anyone not visualize something in their head no matter how hard they try?
POST: not sure if i made perfect sense, but heres mine. i used to skateboard a lot when i was younger and started going to parks with quarter pipes and half pipes, to keep it simple they are literally the shape of a half a pipe or 1/4 a pipe. theres a technique called "dropping in" which is when you push your tail against the end of the pipe and slam the front of the board down and lean forward, to get you going down the ramp.
theres a video. its a very basic technique.
i can do it very well
here's the catch. whenever i imagine it being done in my head, it doesnt happen. the image makes the person slide to the right.
so if its a side view i would see the nose of the board go down then pull to the right.
if its a front view same thing
i just can not visualize this maneuver in my head
what is wrong with my brain
TL;DR: | common skateboard maneuver, i can even do it in real life. can not imagine it being pulled off successfully in my mind. |
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