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What do you get when you throw a hand grenade into a bathroom in france? linoleum blownapart
true
Author of botched daniel holtzclaw profile apologizes for 'lopsided account'
false
Trevor noah likens divided america to south african apartheid in powerful op-ed
false
Why did the duck go to the basketball game? he heard the ref was blowing fouls!
true
I lost weight: james brice lost half his bodyweight -- and is still losing
false
Lena dunham hangs with anna wintour, making that vogue cover seem even more likely...
false
Soleil moon-frye is in 'total denial' about being pregnant with a boy
false
A 'game of thrones' season 5 special will air next month
false
I could die but i'm afraid of the reapercussions
true
This skincare regimen is the secret to a perfect complexion
false
Marc jacobs proposed to his boyfriend with a chipotle flash mob
false
Mylan hit with new class action lawsuit over epipen pricing
false
North korea says u.s. pressure was not the reason for its denuclearization promise
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Pradaxa and xarelto: top heart doctors concerned over new blood thinners
false
What do you call a bulimic tree? sycamore.
true
Wife: you're the best thing that ever happened to me. husband: i really miss baywatch.
true
A child's observation a child's observation: if a mother laughs at dad's jokes, we have guests.
true
Every time i get a paper cut, i know somewhere a tree is laughing.
true
The secret to successful innovation: not being afraid to fail
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Get along with my ex? are you !@#$-ing kidding me?
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This smart brush will shame you into taking care of your hair
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Yo mamma so fat she blocked everyone on facebook
true
South korea's scandal-tainted park to face impeachment vote next week
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Who wants to go to walmart and show off our teeth?
true
Why can't rock climbing instructors get dates? because they rappel men and women.
true
Florida zika case could be first local transmission in u.s.
false
What is peyton manning's favorite counting crows song? omaha
true
Did you hear about all the pokemon that died in the fire? all that was left was ash
true
The 5 things i learned in my 20's
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Kaley cuoco & ryan sweeting poke fun at split rumors
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What's a junkie's favorite videogame? need for speed.
true
Des doyle and ryan patrick mcguffey learn the ropes with showrunners
false
Koons, walker and the examination of life and death
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Thank you student loans, for getting me through college... i don't think i can ever repay you!
true
My dad had the heart of a lion. and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
true
The best shopping in detroit is filled with detroit pride
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Mcdonalds started selling a hotdog called a mcjagger. it's mostly lips and a little bit of asshole.
true
I love my ribcage. it is very close to my heart.
true
A german installs a bath around his table badumtisch
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I'm thinking of opening a sperm bank and calling it... get a load of this guy
true
Accused fake 'teen doctor' malachi love-robinson arrested again
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I've thought about it, and there still is no good reason for me to grow up.
true
Bill cosby performs in public for first time since sexual assault allegations
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Why i'm throwing my kid a low-key birthday party
false
So many haunted mansions. sad how this country is killing the middle class ghost.
true
If you've never played tetris, you're probably useless at loading a dishwasher.
true
Knock knock!!!1!1 who's there? u fuk u fuk who? ur mum
true
What does a confused student at hogwarts study? which craft?
true
What do you call a woman with an opinion? wrong.
true
Protests clog up rio hours before opening ceremony
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I don't live for my kids -- and that is my biggest gift to them
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How do you feel when you don't have coffee? depresso.
true
Marco rubio tries to salvage his campaign with laughter
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What do you call a turlte that flies? a shellocopter. damn homies
true
Five hometown ski resorts delivering on value in 2014
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Obama just told 20 people they won’t die in prison
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No one shows their true character more than when they are retrieving their bags from baggage claim
true
Why did the blond get fired from the banana plantation? because she threw out all the bent ones.
true
Forget manafort -- the big news is the papadopoulos plea deal
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Fashion week live blog: everything that's happening at day 1 of nyfw fall 2014
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People treat me like a god... they don't talk to me unless they want something.
true
When he's out driving where does dracula like to stop and eat? the happy biter.
true
What do you call a broken can-opener? a can't opener.
true
Kevin bacon will come after you if you talk or text during a movie
false
What charity has peta beat in terms of death rate? the make a wish foundation.
true
What's the worst part of being a paedophile? it's hard to fit in.
true
These grotesque, dreamlike portraits are gonna stick with you
false
I was gonna tell a joke about a pizza but it was way too cheesy!
true
Aclu sues milwaukee over stop-and-frisk, widening challenge to police practice
false
Olympians could owe the irs thousands in taxes on medals, cash bonuses
false
If your dog is fat it means that you don't get enough exercise.
true
What's the difference between bullets and everyone? everyone misses harambe.
true
How the 'me, me, me' generation has freed purpose
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I wish there were more dry sex acts like dry-humping. i think i'd really enjoy dry 69.
true
Can you get a tattoo on your penis? yea, but it would be hard.
true
California just made it easier to fire bad teachers
false
You're never too old to throw random shit in people's shopping carts when they aren't looking.
true
Air algerie plane likely crashed due to bad weather, officials say
false
Where does the president keep his armies? in his baracks
true
So... the girl i lost my virginity to was retarded. i wanted my first time to be special.
true
Some people have 32 teeth while others have 10... it's simple meth.
true
Sexy halloween costumes: 14 inappropriate 'bride' costumes (photos)
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If an honest man says he has to use the bathroom he's full of shit.
true
Tuesday's morning email: how the las vegas mass shooting unfolded
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What song did kim jong il request be played at his funeral? journey - don't stop bereaving.
true
Trump’s hhs nominee got a sweetheart deal from a foreign biotech firm
false
What do you get when you cross the atlantic ocean with the titanic? half way.
true
Trump's nfl attacks appear to fuel huge facebook gains for breitbart and fox
false
If wednesday is hump day... ...is tuesday foreplay day?
true
I walked in the closet. i'm officially a straight man.
true
Beau hossler stars at u.s. open: 17-year-old shows maturity at olympic club
false
'paper towns' trailer is a ya book-to-movie masterpiece
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New series examines what it means to be gay and hiv positive in 2016
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What catfights? 9 tv shows that are good for girls
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Who keeps billions of taxpayer dollars flowing to for-profit colleges? these guys
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Where do you get frog's eggs? the spawn shop.
true
Three mexicans walk in to a bar... you'd think juan would've seen it.
true
The difference between real and fake news about marijuana
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Two women live-tweeted their abortion journey from ireland to the u.k.
false
Roosevelt island's new four freedoms park flourishes in winter (photos)
false