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Why did the scotsman sell drugs? he had to get plaid.
true
Transgender teens speak to themselves 10 years from now
false
What i learned about creating content from a youtuber with 2 million subscribers
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Why is it called a shampoo.. if it smells good?
true
An apple a day will keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough
true
How do you get a guitar player to turn down his amp? give him sheet music.
true
Carolyn gregoire's guide on how yoga creates positive change
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When to worry about gluten, and why i don't
false
Newsweek brings back accused sexual harasser as staffers, advertisers flee
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Lindsay lohan accounts seized by irs for owed back taxes; charlie sheen pays some of her debt
false
Grammy winners list 2014: daft punk, macklemore, lorde & more
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Two guys in ca walked off cliff playing pokemon. natural selection accelerated at 9.8 m/sec2.
true
Drugs are not a solution! until you mix them with water
true
What do baseball teams and muffins have in common? they both rely on a good *batter*
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To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often
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What do goats do on election day? voat. co
true
I'm going to france next summer. oh, really? no, de gaulle.
true
International festival of arts and ideas kicks off in new haven (photos)
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9 tidbits from george lucas' tribeca chat with stephen colbert
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I want 2 kids just in case the first one doesn't get enough likes on instagram.
true
Melania trump responds to charlottesville clashes before president does
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'simpsons' producer reveals the o.j. simpson cameo that never was
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Thoughts you have when you're alone at a party full of strangers
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Bill maher, you should have been at the pakistan embassy this week
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Anthony bourdain slams critics who say chefs shouldn't talk politics
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What street in france do reindeer live on? rue dolph
true
A father's day apology: elijah pollack is going to be a great guy
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I had sex with both of the olsen twins. but that was before they were famous.
true
What is brown and sounds like a bell? dung.
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Absolutely despicable that gingerbread men are forced to live in houses made of their own flesh
true
Adorable animated film offers beautiful story of two boys falling in love
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Whatr do you get when you have communist lemons? lenin-nade. just smack me.
true
Wait, 12 years a slave isn't about marriage?
true
What did o say to q? hey! put that thing back in your pants!
true
My professor's name is andy nusbaum. his email is [email protected]
true
The doctors tested a man to see if he was gay. he passed with flying colors.
true
I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on tv.
true
Betty white won the super bowl before it even started
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War has damaged hundreds of heritage sites in syria
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My favorite exercise after a heavy meal is regret.
true
How does norman bates get to the bates motel? he takes the psycho path! (i'll see myself out...)
true
Gop presidential hopefuls say obama shouldn't get to fill supreme court vacancy
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Countries with the highest unemployment: 24/7 wall st.
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Please stop yelling. i put the cucumber slices on your baby's eyes because they looked puffy.
true
I wanna die peaceful in my sleep just my like my grandpah! unlike the passengers in his car...
true
Tarzan doesn't have a beard. yet he lives in the jungle for over 30 years.
true
What did the sun god say in apology for all he had done wrong? i apollogize.
true
I used to do drugs... i still do, but i also used to.
true
When i say, no problem, i mean, you remember this favor forever.
true
If you want to set up and run a small company... ...that's your business
true
Ever get the feeling someone is watching you when you sleep? yeah, sorry about that.
true
Epa to propose 30 percent cut in carbon emissions
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God: moses. this is the lord. i have news for your people. moses: new burning bush. who dis?
true
Why is cam newton's house so dirty? he doesn't pick up after himself.
true
I've noticed the less open-minded someone is, the more open-mouthed they tend to be.
true
Farmer: can i help you, sir? me: this ain't my first rodeo, buddy farmer:
true
Will my grandmothers' stories make it into rep. maloney's women's history museum?
false
What do you call a greedy crab? shell fish......
true
Knock knock who's there ? colin ! colin who ? colin all cars colin all cars !
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Mick mulvaney doles out fat raises to new cfpb staffers amid push to cut costs
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I'm only friends with people who are taller than me, just in case of thunderstorms.
true
What happened when the lawyer took a viagra? he got taller.
true
'aladdin' star navid negahban addresses fans' whitewashing concerns
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I think i can speak for everyone when i say that i am a ventriloquist.
true
Watch how beautiful it is to be a mom in 2 and a half minutes
false
Why are african americans so good at sports? because of hard work and dedication.
true
Un: civilians are being killed, wounded in record numbers in afghanistan
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Amazon to sell smart locks so it can slip packages into your home
false
South carolina wins first ever ncaa national title
false
Which villains steal soap from the bath? robber ducks.
true
What do you call a cockroach filing a complaint? a bug report
true
Excessive erosion sweeps hawaii homes out to sea
false
Young amy schumer gets her dance on in perfect #tbt
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Brooke shields' style evolution: from supermodel to super stylish
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How many latinos does it take to do a wax job? a brazillion!
true
I can't stop telling people how modest i am.
true
This is an anti-joke!! what's green and has wheels?? grass!!! i lied about the wheels!!
true
What they don't want you to know about raspberry ketones
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A searching moral inventory: america's opportunity to avoid the haunting self-destruction of racism
false
Recipe of the day: steak sandwich with fried onions
false
The american health care paradox: a book review
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If 'the biggest loser' doesn't work, why is it still on the air?
false
Everyone's a genius until faced with an alien coffee maker
true
Katherine heigl marries alexis bledel in 'jenny's wedding' trailer
false
How being a stay-at-home mom landed me my dream job
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This is so embarrassing, what's your name again? - me, the first 30 times i meet everyone
true
Slain california university stabbing suspect was angry about study group ejection, authorities say
false
Another reason i find children so menacing are their tiny little teeth.
true
Angela merkel is merely being honest with u.s., spokesman says
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Good cop: what are you doing - he was unarmed dog cop: *plants a vacuum cleaner on body*
true
What is chuck liddell's favorite fruit? the grapple...
true
Any dog can be a guide dog if you don't care where you're going
true
What do you call it when a bunch of stoned poets overthrow the government? a haiku.
true
If there was award for laziness... . i would send someone else to get it.
true
If two wrongs make a right... then what do two wrights make? a plane.
true
One year later: what i've taught my 6-year-old daughter about donald trump
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How does a wwe wrestler like his eggs? raw
true
I heard there are strength in numbers... try telling that to 6,000,000 jews
true
Linda from the office calls it a shawl but i know a shitty cape when i see one.
true
The great wall of china was originally created to keep chuck norris out. it failed miserably.
true