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Long ago, before the mayflower arrived in the US, men and women roamed freely - unmolested by modern technology Men still had their hair, women still weighed less than men and every living organism was mewing daily It's no wonder we had to cheat and use guns to kill them all |
Women are renowned for their complex myriad of powerful emotions. There was simply no way I could've predicted she'd react like that |
Had a feeling that banger about 8K resolution close-up pussy pics would reel my boy in |
Gf left me for no reason today I tried to argue with her at first, but soon realized I didn't actually care either way "Wait, you're right. We should end it I genuinely enjoyed this and I'll love you forever. Goodbye." I went back to tweeting She went back to crying Awkward |
She's still there looking at me Didn't have a problem with her looking so much when we were dating but things are different now and my boundaries have changed. She should respect that I'm going to give her a friendly warning before I get the police involved |
In a post-wall society, the ability to look a cooked low-mid right in the eye and tell her she looks beautiful today is more powerful than every nuclear bomb in the world |
Debt-free virgin with no tattoos |
Is it actually racist to say you prefer pink nipples I feel like there's gotta be at least one black girl with 'em out there but I can't say for sure cuz I don't date em |
Dumped for trying to dye her nipples pink while she was sleeping |
She made her coin go up so much I'm the sub in our relationship now |
*nothing changes* |
We have to start removing utility from Ethereum until it starts going up again It's the only way |
I taught him about sexual harassment |
"I'm waiting for confirmation to start scaling in" "when's your confirmation" "Range highs, maybe the old ath" |
3 day ban for requesting closeup pussy pictures that violate ToS by being 8k - which is 4k higher than the maximum resolution of pussy pictures allowed in the discord server |
One of the most insane things ever was zoomer guys getting locked in their bedrooms for like ten years during covid and then all women in the US unionizing to deny them sex unless they posted the black square At least 30% of those guys grow up to be shooters |
Oh my god I accidentally made her pussy *too* wet and I can't feel anything at all |
Everybody forming a circle around Murad like he's a groundhog on geojndhog's day to see if he attacks the cult coin on TGE or accepts it |
Here lies dril He was shot by three transsexuals simultaneously after epically trolling a whole speedrunning server by turning on "slow mode" during Amphetamine Thursdays May god bless his eternal soul |
I have no idea what at least 50% of the words I use here mean |
Wow, your art is beautiful. Have you considered making it an nft? You could make six dollars and destroy your reputation forever |
You can definitely save her but realistically it's not worth the time/resource investment The ideal future you just imagined with her was admittedly beautiful tho |
I assume every time I get sick it's a new strain of covid Chinese been cooking hard. Gotta be on at least strain 16 by now |
Imagine how low eth would be rn if the cult pre-sale didn't lock up half the circulating supply |
Ironically dating her for a psyop designed to trick female onlookers into believing in love |
Yeeep That one's definitely gonna get infected |
Always bizarre when the Women in Tech scream about how we need a female touch to onboard female users before running an ad campaign so poorly-targeted it actually gains the company less female users than whatever the autistic engineers would've done |
At some point you rly do need to just say "enough is enough" I have an extremely high tolerance to whores but even I gotta admit there's a line where it does objectively make society imposssible |
Why's that dude needa have sex with his wife a month after childbirth Didn't they already fuck like 10 months ago to make the kid? I assumed he'd be bored of it for at least another 60 days |
Millennials had to be circumcised so the zoomers who came after them could know the joys of an intact foreskin |
Egirl turf wars |
I don't respect any woman who has less followers than me How do you expect anyone to love you if you can't get more followers than an anonymous man with a cartoon picture Your selfies are worth less than gay jokes. You have failed completely as a woman |
If you guys knew the indicator I used to pull 59.5 outta my ass you'd never take anything I said seriously again |
12 HOUR FLIGHT AND I GOT THE WHOLE ROW OH MY GOD TOTAL VICTORY |
Somehow the white women who visit Japan for tourism are even more fucked up than the white guys who do |
No Asian country has goofier-looking expats than Japan. The white people in Taipei and China actually looked so normal I forgot what the goofball japan-worshippers look like |
Would rather starve to death than beg someone for three dollars over cash app |
Why did we teach the Solana users how to buy on leverage |
There's a level of mental illness that's actually impossible to fix with modern medicine bc every therapist you see goes "I'm sorry, but talking to you fills me with existential despair and I have to end this. I'll refund you in full, but just please never contact me again" |
Modern UX should make your users feel scared. Scared and confused Fear is good. It means they care The users crave excitement. Don't disappoint them |
Last year whenever I used a competitor's product I'd be like "holy shit, we are SO fucked" But something changed the last few months and now whenever I try other stuff out I'm like "oh my god, we are going to make ten trillion dollars. I always knew the supercycle was real" |
It seems the devs did something after all |
So old people stopped looking at me weird when my girl calls me daddy in public bc they just assume I'm her actual father |
ok retiring the zachxbt account spending too much time here maybe back next cycle same plan for my bags glhf |
When you find out a crypto girl is a massive scammer, it makes her: |
I let her hit bc I tracked her Solana wallet and found out she rugged me before |
When guys say "I married my best friend!!" and it's not a man, it's somehow gayer than if it was |
Last year we tried to raise a sponsorship round for the supercycle (real) podcast and every single person we approached ghosted us Today we closed five million even though we turned away over half the investors bc we found tweets from 2+ years ago where they called us gay |
"insider information" in crypto means like "I track the wallets of seven mentally retarded people with cartoon profile pictures and they all bought this coin two minutes ago" |
And then the guy telling you this is wrong like 80% of the time and they're actually just completely random wallets he found through the divine machinations of schizophrenia amphetamines and 4 days without sleep |
The coin still goes up 1500% |
There's no point lying about your height to get girls on Twitter bc when you meet up with a Twitter girl the first thing she does is take the tape out of her purse to measure you |
I am the only Chinese influencer with the courage to speak exclusively in English |
Last year CT was debating whether it was ethical for an account with 10k followers to shill coins under 10 mil mcap but now it's broadly accepted that refusing to shill tickers under 30k mcap means you simply hate your followers and want them to be poor forever |
Imagine going to prison for like 4k of tax evasion |
(you don't have to imagine) |
Study Thursdays |
Sui's been going $loopy lately |
If an exchange's employees aren't shilling at least three new sub-30k mcap tickers per day it's extremely bearish |
Millennials were basically a sacrificial generation They had to be ground to paste in such a horrifying way the zoomers watching got scared out of all that retard shit and force-pivoted civilization to save us all from the brink |
Run it back with minimal tripping |
The level of shit shkreli gets is actually comical He can say literally anything and there's just an army of people telling him to kill himself |
Did BDB stop tweeting for the 6 months of chop and just come back now to signal the coming of The Second Leg or did the Asian algo bubble just stop showing me his stuff cuz his eyes were too wide |
If the LIBTARD MEDIA convinced everyone bitcoin's creator was gay we would actually go to zero |
18 months till every cryptocurremcy influencer pivots to being a prison abolitionist |
If you try and fix him he's gonna get really mad and throw his ps5 controller at you |
He's gonna miss but it'll still hurt your feelings |
I don't think there's been a single Thursday open you wanted to be long for in the last like 6 months. Thursdays are financially cursed. If Gary gensler actually cared about us he'd ban all US trading on Thursdays |
One more generational nuke then up only |
Don't listen to me I am literally the worst trader in the universe |
If thousands of you hadn't used the referral link in my bio to trade at ox dot fun I would literally be homeless right now |
My girlfriend left me bc I refused to stop farming the berachain testnet for an airdrop after 24 months |
It can, but also 80% of people who get it do insanely retarded things that make them look like monsters/aliens and then spiral by doubling down on said retarded things until they become totally delusional and develop unprecedented levels of body dysmorphia So I just tell everyone it's bad The 20% who know how to do it right just ignore me anyway bc they either get what I'm doing or assume "he only thinks that cuz he only notices plastic surgery when it's super fucked up" |
Sell everything you own and buy as much bitcoin as you can afford |
Do it on leverage at ox dot fun. Use the referral link in my bio |
One week of lifting seriously again and we're back at 3pl8 on bench 2025 is the year of the revenge pump |
Things get freaky when we reclaim 4 Coming for you nico |
Moving to Asia on a whim was certainly fun and spontaneous of me but the airport parking lot I flew out of just called with a reminder I left my car parked in the short-term lot for too long so I guess they're confiscating it |
Study fatman terra |
Maybe telling the triple-vaxxed ssri enjoyers they should continue their 60mg daily adderall use through their Olympic training regimen was kind of a dick move |
Trust me bro it's safe, there was a study on it, we spent 6 weeks analyzing data that didn't exist yet and a lot of very smart people signed off on it |
Guys always blackpill spiral when they read stuff like this if it hasn't happened to them yet but it is ABSOLUTELY in the cards Just you wait |
Go viral -> call 500 people in your replies retarded -> get shadowbanned -> don't go viral for another 4 weeks till it wears off -> repeat |
I am simply too intelligent to get hammered and dance with naked women on a boat |
So was Einstein |
We should stop calling them memecoins I'm like 98% sure we can get vcs to buy the top if we just call them "coins" instead. Even "shitters" somehow sounds more investable than "memecoin" |
Okay man I'm like the latest adopter of all time and even I hold like 50% of my paper net worth in shitters I simply refuse to believe there's anyone here who "missed" memecoins |
One of the funniest parts about making club smalltalk with girls who don't speak your language is they still mostly laugh and otherwise react like girls who do speak your language. It just drives home how irrelevant the words were in the first place |
Vitalik should be in prison I'm willing to negotiate his release at 4k |
I don't know why Asian people even build cars with horns in them I haven't seen them honk once. When somebody's driving like a retard they just sit there silently waiting for the issue to resolve itself |
Admittedly a lot of the personality traits I gained through the trauma of being repeatedly raped are responsible for my current success as an entrepreneur |
Thanks, I guess |
Hitler was blonde and 6'4 before the jews invented photoshop |
He didn't have one testicle he had three |
You're alone bc you didn't realize the girl who kept dming you on facebook to ask if you wanted to study for the hs math quiz was trying to have your children |
I hired a tall black guy to go around at crypto events claiming to be ansem to prove go my mom the industry I worked in wasn't racist but you all still called him a n*gger |
In all fairness I did it too but I was 1.5 beers deep |
Nobody knows what "unconditional love" means They say they love their partner unconditionally and then you're like "would you still love them if they cheated on you and raped your children" and they're like "no, of course not" and then you have to explain what a condition is |
People's main disagreement with this is "you're being autistic, I just meant it was unconditional within reason" But that's just normal love, lol Everyone's internal definition of "unconditional" is different. Love is confusing enough as is, just say what you mean instead |
The funniest thing about everyone in crypto being anonymous is you often get people at Irl events lying about how close they are with people you know extremely well. When they figure out who you are they look absolutely horrified and backpedal at 1000mph |
Subsets and Splits