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i get my large c-cups from my mom also , but i 've always kept them covered up .
i see how men get distracted by them , like they 're some tractor beam pulling them in .
one more quick glance to check my mascara application , and i nod at myself , satisfied .
it 's been a long time coming , but i think i 'm finally ready to party .
chapter two the spring night air is warm on my face as i walk across campus to meet cara and her friends .
i pass other students heading out for the night and feel happy to count myself among them .
i go over my rules for myself as i near the crew house , which is just across the street from campus .
no more than three drinks .
no talking about classes .
no weirdness around nate thornhill .
`` brynn ! ''
cara yells from the opposite sidewalk .
i wave as i head over .
`` i ca n't believe you got a lawn room !
that 's amazing ! ''
i lean over to give her a hug .
she 's an effortlessly cool , petite brunette-the kind of girl that everyone considers to be their friend .
`` thanks ! ''
`` holy shit !
you got a lawn room ?
are you , like , a genius or something ? ''
her friend rachel asks , her jaw dropping .
`` i wish !
then all those papers would have taken me way less time to write , '' i reply with a laugh .
`` cara says you 've never been to a crew party ? ''
marie , the knockout of the group , asks .
`` nope ... just never made my way over here i guess , '' i reply , downplaying the situation .
`` well , they have the best parties , '' she assures me .
`` and the hottest guys . ''
`` lacrosse guys are hotter , '' rachel argues .
`` of course , if you can always do both ... '' marie murmurs , and they burst into laughter .
`` hey , you look great , by the way , '' cara says to me as we walk up the front steps of the house .
`` love that top . ''
`` thanks , '' i say , trying not to glow .
a couple guys chilling on the front porch greet the other girls by name , and i blush as i feel their eyes glance over me .
i tug my hair self-consciously as one of them grins at me .
two girls hurry past us in the opposite direction .
one leans over the railing as her friend barely manages to pull her hair back before she retches into the bushes .
lovely .
sweat and the scent of beer greets us as we walk inside .
the lights are dim , barely illuminating the mass of people crowded into the main room , and i feel my heels sticking to the sticky floor .
`` cara , the love of my life ! ''
a tall , brawny guy says , sweeping her up into a hug .
i recognize him from the crew team .
not that i 've studied their roster photos or anything ... `` oh , ha , ha , '' cara says , rolling her eyes , though something about the gleam in her eyes tells me she likes the guy .
`` can i get you ladies a beer ? ''
he asks , nodding to the keg behind him .
`` yes , please , '' cara says .
`` hey , foster , this is my good friend brynn .
this is her first crew party so treat her nice . ''
`` i 'm always nice ! ''
foster says indignantly , then bows in front of me and offers his hand .
`` m'lady , '' he says , as i place my hand in his and raises it to his lips .
marie and rachel giggle and then head over to another group as foster hands them their beers .
cara and i follow foster over to an old , mysteriously stained , couch in the corner .
we weave around other scantily clad co-eds , and for the first time in my life , i feel like one of the cool kids .
i perch nervously on the far left cushion as cara sits next to me , with foster on her other side .
i slowly sip my beer as he whispers in her ear .
i 've had beer before , even gotten tipsy a few times with allison and miriam when we first turned twenty-one and tried out some wine bars .
i just want to make sure i do n't overdo it tonight and end up like that girl we passed on the way inside .
`` where 's nate tonight ? ''
my head whips around as i hear cara ask foster the question .
my heart stops for a second .
i have to admit i 'll feel crushed if he 's not even here .
`` he 's somewhere around , probably getting crushed under a pile of chicks , '' foster rolls his eyes , and cara laughs .
i down half my beer .
i ca n't believe how jealous it makes me feel , i 've never even met the guy .
cara and foster keep chatting , and though cara makes an effort to include me , i 'm feeling too nervous to contribute much to the conversation .
by the time i finish my beer , i really have to pee .
`` be right back , '' i murmur to cara , and go looking for the bathroom .
i weave through the sweaty throng to a hallway along the stairs .
i see a line of five girls outside of what i assume is the bathroom , and with a sigh , i step behind the last one .
the door opens and a guy darts in front of the front girl .
`` hey ! ''
she protests .
`` sorry !
emergency ! ''
he cries , and shuts the door behind him .
i lean back a little and glance up the stairs .
there are several people hanging out on the landing , but it 's definitely quieter up there , and i 'm sure there 's more than one bathroom in this place .
holding my legs close together , i turn around and hurry up the stairs .
i bypass the first couple rooms with open doors and come to a couple closed ones .
i can see a room at the end of the hall that looks like a lounge , with a pool table in the middle of the room .
one of these two rooms must be the bathroom .
i lean toward the nearest one and press my ear against it .
i ca n't hear anything .
i knock softly and wait for a reply , and when i do n't hear one , i slowly turn the knob and open the door .
i gasp as it 's pulled open and out of my grasp .
my eyes fly up and immediately i realize that nate is standing before me .
`` i ... i ... ''
i stammer .
his pupils dilate as he stares at me in amusement .
i let my gaze fall down his body .
he 's naked but for a pair of pale blue boxers .
good lord , his body is ridiculous .
the line down between his six-pack looks like it was etched in stone .
it 's suddenly very difficult to breathe .
`` see anything you like ? ''
he asks drily .
i snap my gaze back up .