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i get my large c-cups from my mom also , but i 've always kept them covered up . |
i see how men get distracted by them , like they 're some tractor beam pulling them in . |
one more quick glance to check my mascara application , and i nod at myself , satisfied . |
it 's been a long time coming , but i think i 'm finally ready to party . |
chapter two the spring night air is warm on my face as i walk across campus to meet cara and her friends . |
i pass other students heading out for the night and feel happy to count myself among them . |
i go over my rules for myself as i near the crew house , which is just across the street from campus . |
no more than three drinks . |
no talking about classes . |
no weirdness around nate thornhill . |
`` brynn ! '' |
cara yells from the opposite sidewalk . |
i wave as i head over . |
`` i ca n't believe you got a lawn room ! |
that 's amazing ! '' |
i lean over to give her a hug . |
she 's an effortlessly cool , petite brunette-the kind of girl that everyone considers to be their friend . |
`` thanks ! '' |
`` holy shit ! |
you got a lawn room ? |
are you , like , a genius or something ? '' |
her friend rachel asks , her jaw dropping . |
`` i wish ! |
then all those papers would have taken me way less time to write , '' i reply with a laugh . |
`` cara says you 've never been to a crew party ? '' |
marie , the knockout of the group , asks . |
`` nope ... just never made my way over here i guess , '' i reply , downplaying the situation . |
`` well , they have the best parties , '' she assures me . |
`` and the hottest guys . '' |
`` lacrosse guys are hotter , '' rachel argues . |
`` of course , if you can always do both ... '' marie murmurs , and they burst into laughter . |
`` hey , you look great , by the way , '' cara says to me as we walk up the front steps of the house . |
`` love that top . '' |
`` thanks , '' i say , trying not to glow . |
a couple guys chilling on the front porch greet the other girls by name , and i blush as i feel their eyes glance over me . |
i tug my hair self-consciously as one of them grins at me . |
two girls hurry past us in the opposite direction . |
one leans over the railing as her friend barely manages to pull her hair back before she retches into the bushes . |
lovely . |
sweat and the scent of beer greets us as we walk inside . |
the lights are dim , barely illuminating the mass of people crowded into the main room , and i feel my heels sticking to the sticky floor . |
`` cara , the love of my life ! '' |
a tall , brawny guy says , sweeping her up into a hug . |
i recognize him from the crew team . |
not that i 've studied their roster photos or anything ... `` oh , ha , ha , '' cara says , rolling her eyes , though something about the gleam in her eyes tells me she likes the guy . |
`` can i get you ladies a beer ? '' |
he asks , nodding to the keg behind him . |
`` yes , please , '' cara says . |
`` hey , foster , this is my good friend brynn . |
this is her first crew party so treat her nice . '' |
`` i 'm always nice ! '' |
foster says indignantly , then bows in front of me and offers his hand . |
`` m'lady , '' he says , as i place my hand in his and raises it to his lips . |
marie and rachel giggle and then head over to another group as foster hands them their beers . |
cara and i follow foster over to an old , mysteriously stained , couch in the corner . |
we weave around other scantily clad co-eds , and for the first time in my life , i feel like one of the cool kids . |
i perch nervously on the far left cushion as cara sits next to me , with foster on her other side . |
i slowly sip my beer as he whispers in her ear . |
i 've had beer before , even gotten tipsy a few times with allison and miriam when we first turned twenty-one and tried out some wine bars . |
i just want to make sure i do n't overdo it tonight and end up like that girl we passed on the way inside . |
`` where 's nate tonight ? '' |
my head whips around as i hear cara ask foster the question . |
my heart stops for a second . |
i have to admit i 'll feel crushed if he 's not even here . |
`` he 's somewhere around , probably getting crushed under a pile of chicks , '' foster rolls his eyes , and cara laughs . |
i down half my beer . |
i ca n't believe how jealous it makes me feel , i 've never even met the guy . |
cara and foster keep chatting , and though cara makes an effort to include me , i 'm feeling too nervous to contribute much to the conversation . |
by the time i finish my beer , i really have to pee . |
`` be right back , '' i murmur to cara , and go looking for the bathroom . |
i weave through the sweaty throng to a hallway along the stairs . |
i see a line of five girls outside of what i assume is the bathroom , and with a sigh , i step behind the last one . |
the door opens and a guy darts in front of the front girl . |
`` hey ! '' |
she protests . |
`` sorry ! |
emergency ! '' |
he cries , and shuts the door behind him . |
i lean back a little and glance up the stairs . |
there are several people hanging out on the landing , but it 's definitely quieter up there , and i 'm sure there 's more than one bathroom in this place . |
holding my legs close together , i turn around and hurry up the stairs . |
i bypass the first couple rooms with open doors and come to a couple closed ones . |
i can see a room at the end of the hall that looks like a lounge , with a pool table in the middle of the room . |
one of these two rooms must be the bathroom . |
i lean toward the nearest one and press my ear against it . |
i ca n't hear anything . |
i knock softly and wait for a reply , and when i do n't hear one , i slowly turn the knob and open the door . |
i gasp as it 's pulled open and out of my grasp . |
my eyes fly up and immediately i realize that nate is standing before me . |
`` i ... i ... '' |
i stammer . |
his pupils dilate as he stares at me in amusement . |
i let my gaze fall down his body . |
he 's naked but for a pair of pale blue boxers . |
good lord , his body is ridiculous . |
the line down between his six-pack looks like it was etched in stone . |
it 's suddenly very difficult to breathe . |
`` see anything you like ? '' |
he asks drily . |
i snap my gaze back up . |
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