MichaelOrme/Profane · Datasets at Hugging Face

Input stringlengths 2 1.52k	Response stringlengths 2 2.76k
Fuck yeah, she is. I'd join a cult to get some of that... and the best part is she didn't try to kill the President or nothing, so that baggage ain't hanging around.	I thought she tried to murder a witness for the prosecution.
I thought she tried to murder a witness for the prosecution.	I'll let it slide, she was only seventeen.
I'll let it slide, she was only seventeen.	Dude, talk about baggage, that ain't no carry-on shit, that's some heavy duty Samsonite shit.
Dude, talk about baggage, that ain't no carry-on shit, that's some heavy duty Samsonite shit.	Yeah, I guess... hot chicks are always nuts.
Yeah, I guess... hot chicks are always nuts.	Hot has got nothing to do with it.
Hold on, I've heard this before... but I can't remember the end.	So, the guy goes to Hell and the devil says, "do you smoke?" The guy say, "yeah"... the devil say, "great cause Tuesday is cigar night, sweetest Cuban cigars you ever had."
So, the guy goes to Hell and the devil says, "do you smoke?" The guy say, "yeah"... the devil say, "great cause Tuesday is cigar night, sweetest Cuban cigars you ever had."	Shit, we really need to find some gas.
Shit, we really need to find some gas.	Then the devil asks, "do you drink?" Guy says, "yeah"... devil say, "wonderful, Wednesday is free drinks night, best booze you ever had... all made from the finest stuff."
Then the devil asks, "do you drink?" Guy says, "yeah"... devil say, "wonderful, Wednesday is free drinks night, best booze you ever had... all made from the finest stuff."	Yeah.
Yeah.	Then the devil says, "are you gay?" Guy says, "fuck no"... Devil says, "Well then, I guess you're gonna hate Thursdays."
Then the devil says, "are you gay?" Guy says, "fuck no"... Devil says, "Well then, I guess you're gonna hate Thursdays."	Oh yeah, I remember now.
Oh yeah, I remember now.	Yeah, no shit I just told ya. Hey, you think this place called Alien Ed's UFO Welcoming Center is still around? It says, "Where the Fact is separated from the Fantasy."
Yeah, no shit I just told ya. Hey, you think this place called Alien Ed's UFO Welcoming Center is still around? It says, "Where the Fact is separated from the Fantasy."	I dunno... we'll ask around as we get closer. Man, I really don't want to run out of gas out here in the middle of Petticoat Junction, man.
I dunno... we'll ask around as we get closer. Man, I really don't want to run out of gas out here in the middle of Petticoat Junction, man.	Don't panic yourself, way too much caffeine guy... I see a sign. Captain Spaulding's Museum of Madmen and Monsters... cool. Also... fried chicken and... gasoline... next exit.
Don't panic yourself, way too much caffeine guy... I see a sign. Captain Spaulding's Museum of Madmen and Monsters... cool. Also... fried chicken and... gasoline... next exit.	Perfect.
Perfect.	I hope this place is cool. We could use something interesting to liven up chapter 12.
That reminds me of a film I saw once of a guy who got out of his car at Lion Country Safari to take a picture of a lion cub and got eaten by the lions.	Oh yeah, I heard about that. I always thought it was bullshit.
Oh yeah, I heard about that. I always thought it was bullshit.	No... yeah, they ripped him to pieces while his family watched from the car. The wife is screaming, the kids are crying. Some dude in another car filmed the whole thing.
I hope you fixed the spare like I asked ya.	Yeah, I fixed it. Well, I ain't... um, I can't remember. I think I took it out to fit the bags and forgot to put it back.
Yeah, I fixed it. Well, I ain't... um, I can't remember. I think I took it out to fit the bags and forgot to put it back.	Jesus Christ, Jerry.
Jesus Christ, Jerry.	Well, technically I did what ya said.
Well, technically I did what ya said.	You're a real fucking piece of work.
Tire's fucking gone crap on us, man. There's no saving it now.	And the spare is safely sitting in Jerry's garage.
Oh, don't worry she didn't get offended by what I said. You two got to lighten up... right, Bill?	Whatever, at this point all I care about is food. I'm starving and I got a fucking killer headache.
Whatever, at this point all I care about is food. I'm starving and I got a fucking killer headache.	Hey, I asked you if you wanted some chicken.
Hey, I asked you if you wanted some chicken.	Didn't look like chicken to me, more like fried pussy cat.
Didn't look like chicken to me, more like fried pussy cat.	Tasted pretty good.
I can't believe what I'm seeing.	I know, this is fucking nuts.
Fuck! We are fucked!	Turn that fucking radio off!
Don't look back, just get in the car.	Lock the fucking doors.
I hope to Christ she doesn't expect us to wear these things.	Whatever it is just do it. The more we play along the faster we'll get the hell out of here.
And...	And I gave 'em directions out there, up by the old farm row... I figured what's the harm. Stupid kids probably going out to piss up a rope and got themselves turned around backasswards and got lost as shit.
And I gave 'em directions out there, up by the old farm row... I figured what's the harm. Stupid kids probably going out to piss up a rope and got themselves turned around backasswards and got lost as shit.	Is that all... think real hard.
Is that all... think real hard.	Yeah, they weren't here but a few minutes, didn't really have time to get as up close and personal as I do with most of the assholes that wander through here.
Yeah, they weren't here but a few minutes, didn't really have time to get as up close and personal as I do with most of the assholes that wander through here.	How's about you give me those same directions.
How's about you give me those same directions.	Yeah, yeah, sure. You don't have to get all True Grit all over my ass... I'll give'm to ya... you can knock yourself silly for all I care.
Yeah, yeah, sure. You don't have to get all True Grit all over my ass... I'll give'm to ya... you can knock yourself silly for all I care.	Enough talk, write.
Fascinating.	That kid is one horny retard.
That kid is one horny retard.	Christ, ain't they all. All them retards wanna do is fuck and eat.
Christ, ain't they all. All them retards wanna do is fuck and eat.	Well, yeah... I think that if you knew him... I mean if you'd understand his urges, shit the guy's like forty or something.
Well, yeah... I think that if you knew him... I mean if you'd understand his urges, shit the guy's like forty or something.	Worse than a fucking rabid baboon.
Worse than a fucking rabid baboon.	Yeah, I guess, you know next to wacking his weasel his other favorite thing is twisting sharpened pencils in the corner of his eyes.
Yeah, I guess, you know next to wacking his weasel his other favorite thing is twisting sharpened pencils in the corner of his eyes.	What?
What?	Yeah, doesn't hurt himself, just spins it around next to his eyeball.
Yeah, doesn't hurt himself, just spins it around next to his eyeball.	I'm sure that ain't the only place he's sticking those pencils.
I'm sure that ain't the only place he's sticking those pencils.	Naw, he don't do anything else with 'em, but he did get caught once with a Planet of the Apes doll hanging out his asshole.
Naw, he don't do anything else with 'em, but he did get caught once with a Planet of the Apes doll hanging out his asshole.	Goddamn.
Goddamn.	Had to take him to the hospital. Kid had Dr. Zaius stuck half way up his butt, couldn't get it out.
Had to take him to the hospital. Kid had Dr. Zaius stuck half way up his butt, couldn't get it out.	I always loved that mute broad that Chuck Heston was shacking up with.
I always loved that mute broad that Chuck Heston was shacking up with.	Nova, yeah she looked pretty sweet.
Nova, yeah she looked pretty sweet.	Yeah, now there's the perfect woman.
Yeah, now there's the perfect woman.	Can I get some stamps off ya? Did you fix the toilet yet?
Fuck, it's freezing.	Hey, listen to this... I think this is related to our Dr. Satan.
Hey, listen to this... I think this is related to our Dr. Satan.	Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.	Yeah, in this book there's a chapter called Self Made Freaks about how people would mutilate themselves in order to work in a freak show. It mostly talks about tattooed people and wild men of Borneo and shit like that, but there is one mention of a single case where a woman was suspected of having her arms removed on purpose to become an arm-less wonder.
Yeah, in this book there's a chapter called Self Made Freaks about how people would mutilate themselves in order to work in a freak show. It mostly talks about tattooed people and wild men of Borneo and shit like that, but there is one mention of a single case where a woman was suspected of having her arms removed on purpose to become an arm-less wonder.	Yeah, so how does that fit with the story of four morons with a flat tire looking for a dead tree?
Yeah, so how does that fit with the story of four morons with a flat tire looking for a dead tree?	It says, "records show that Ellie Thompson was born in 1914 of normal physical stature and lived a life of normal bearings, until such time that she was placed in the care of the Willows State Mental Facility."
It says, "records show that Ellie Thompson was born in 1914 of normal physical stature and lived a life of normal bearings, until such time that she was placed in the care of the Willows State Mental Facility."	So.
So.	Now she was put in the nuthouse in 1930 at the age of 16.
Now she was put in the nuthouse in 1930 at the age of 16.	Why?
Why?	Blah, blah, blah... it doesn't say, but she was released sometime in 1937, only to reappear as Ellie Bogdan, the arm-less wonder. Says she, "criss-crossed the United States constantly in carnivals and freak shows until her death in 1946."
Blah, blah, blah... it doesn't say, but she was released sometime in 1937, only to reappear as Ellie Bogdan, the arm-less wonder. Says she, "criss-crossed the United States constantly in carnivals and freak shows until her death in 1946."	Yeah?
Yeah?	These dates perfectly correspond with the time frame of our beloved Dr. Satan working at the looney bin. I'll bet he amputated her arms.
These dates perfectly correspond with the time frame of our beloved Dr. Satan working at the looney bin. I'll bet he amputated her arms.	So what?
So what?	I don't know, I just thought it was interesting.
I don't know, I just thought it was interesting.	You know what Jerry, who really cares at this point?
You know what Jerry, who really cares at this point?	I don't... ...I just thought it was weird.
Come on sleeping beauty, time to go to work.	Sleeping.
Sleeping.	Rise and shine.
Rise and shine.	No please, let me sit this one out.
No please, let me sit this one out.	Let's go. You're the one who wanted to be a photographer.
Let's go. You're the one who wanted to be a photographer.	I resign.
I resign.	Too late. You're in for life, let's move it out Private Shutterbug.
Too late. You're in for life, let's move it out Private Shutterbug.	Christ, I hope this isn't more crappy folk art. It's so quaint... it's so primal... it's so crap.
Christ, I hope this isn't more crappy folk art. It's so quaint... it's so primal... it's so crap.	Aw, it ain't crap... it's... cute. ...and really who are we to judge the artistic merit of the tin-can Mona Lisa?
Aw, it ain't crap... it's... cute. ...and really who are we to judge the artistic merit of the tin-can Mona Lisa?	Aw, shit... I gotta pee anyway.
It will be nice to have a few days off to regenerate. This trip is fun, but it's starting to get brutal.	Yeah, I hit burn out mode back at that old stripper lady's place. Watching her dance around with those ratty-looking animals was ridiculous.
Yeah, I hit burn out mode back at that old stripper lady's place. Watching her dance around with those ratty-looking animals was ridiculous.	I know, that was some crazy shit. I never in a million years would have believed it if I hadn't seen it.
I know, that was some crazy shit. I never in a million years would have believed it if I hadn't seen it.	A decent meal every once in a while wouldn't hurt either, this road food is crap.
A decent meal every once in a while wouldn't hurt either, this road food is crap.	If I never eat at another Waffle House again, I can die a happy girl.
If I never eat at another Waffle House again, I can die a happy girl.	Scattered, smothered and covered.
Scattered, smothered and covered.	Exactly... well, I guess a couple more photos won't kill me.
I think I'm going fucking crazy.	I can't believe...
Jesus Christ.	I think I'm gonna have a fucking heart attack.
Don't be such a fucking smart ass.	Yeah, it's really your fault that we're stuck in this shithole in the first place.
God damn.	You find something, Georgie?
You find something, Georgie?	Yep, I found something.
What'd ya got there?	Keys.
Keys.	Well Christ boy, don't stand there like a prize dog dick with his butthole caught up a tree.
Well Christ boy, don't stand there like a prize dog dick with his butthole caught up a tree.	Huh?
Huh?	Open up the trunk.
Open up the trunk.	Yes, sir.
God damn it, I must be fucking crazy to let him go off with that crazy fucking bitch.	Huh?
Huh?	That stupid hillbilly slut.
That stupid hillbilly slut.	Oh, don't blow everything out of proportion.
Oh, don't blow everything out of proportion.	You didn't see the look she threw me. She's up to something.
This is way too fucked up for words.	I know the words... fucking psycho fucking bullshit, that's the words.
I'm with Denise, can't we just walk to someplace, this is getting fucking stupid.	Negative. Shit, we are so deep in the sticks we could walk for hours and find zero.
Why? Why are you doing this?	Doing what? Messy up your day? Well, fuck lady there are some bigger issues at hand... than your fucking have a nice fucking day bumper sticker shit!
Doing what? Messy up your day? Well, fuck lady there are some bigger issues at hand... than your fucking have a nice fucking day bumper sticker shit!	Where's Bill?

Fuck yeah, she is. I'd join a cult to get some of that... and the best part is she didn't try to kill the President or nothing, so that baggage ain't hanging around.

I thought she tried to murder a witness for the prosecution.

I'll let it slide, she was only seventeen.

Dude, talk about baggage, that ain't no carry-on shit, that's some heavy duty Samsonite shit.

Yeah, I guess... hot chicks are always nuts.

Hot has got nothing to do with it.

Hold on, I've heard this before... but I can't remember the end.

So, the guy goes to Hell and the devil says, "do you smoke?" The guy say, "yeah"... the devil say, "great cause Tuesday is cigar night, sweetest Cuban cigars you ever had."

Shit, we really need to find some gas.

Then the devil asks, "do you drink?" Guy says, "yeah"... devil say, "wonderful, Wednesday is free drinks night, best booze you ever had... all made from the finest stuff."

Yeah.

Then the devil says, "are you gay?" Guy says, "fuck no"... Devil says, "Well then, I guess you're gonna hate Thursdays."

Oh yeah, I remember now.

Yeah, no shit I just told ya. Hey, you think this place called Alien Ed's UFO Welcoming Center is still around? It says, "Where the Fact is separated from the Fantasy."

I dunno... we'll ask around as we get closer. Man, I really don't want to run out of gas out here in the middle of Petticoat Junction, man.

Don't panic yourself, way too much caffeine guy... I see a sign. Captain Spaulding's Museum of Madmen and Monsters... cool. Also... fried chicken and... gasoline... next exit.

Perfect.

I hope this place is cool. We could use something interesting to liven up chapter 12.

That reminds me of a film I saw once of a guy who got out of his car at Lion Country Safari to take a picture of a lion cub and got eaten by the lions.

Oh yeah, I heard about that. I always thought it was bullshit.

No... yeah, they ripped him to pieces while his family watched from the car. The wife is screaming, the kids are crying. Some dude in another car filmed the whole thing.

I hope you fixed the spare like I asked ya.

Yeah, I fixed it. Well, I ain't... um, I can't remember. I think I took it out to fit the bags and forgot to put it back.

Jesus Christ, Jerry.

Well, technically I did what ya said.

You're a real fucking piece of work.

Tire's fucking gone crap on us, man. There's no saving it now.

And the spare is safely sitting in Jerry's garage.

Oh, don't worry she didn't get offended by what I said. You two got to lighten up... right, Bill?

Whatever, at this point all I care about is food. I'm starving and I got a fucking killer headache.

Hey, I asked you if you wanted some chicken.

Didn't look like chicken to me, more like fried pussy cat.

Tasted pretty good.

I can't believe what I'm seeing.

I know, this is fucking nuts.

Fuck! We are fucked!

Turn that fucking radio off!

Don't look back, just get in the car.

Lock the fucking doors.

I hope to Christ she doesn't expect us to wear these things.

Whatever it is just do it. The more we play along the faster we'll get the hell out of here.

And...

And I gave 'em directions out there, up by the old farm row... I figured what's the harm. Stupid kids probably going out to piss up a rope and got themselves turned around backasswards and got lost as shit.

Is that all... think real hard.

Yeah, they weren't here but a few minutes, didn't really have time to get as up close and personal as I do with most of the assholes that wander through here.

How's about you give me those same directions.

Yeah, yeah, sure. You don't have to get all True Grit all over my ass... I'll give'm to ya... you can knock yourself silly for all I care.

Enough talk, write.

Fascinating.

That kid is one horny retard.

Christ, ain't they all. All them retards wanna do is fuck and eat.

Well, yeah... I think that if you knew him... I mean if you'd understand his urges, shit the guy's like forty or something.

Worse than a fucking rabid baboon.

Yeah, I guess, you know next to wacking his weasel his other favorite thing is twisting sharpened pencils in the corner of his eyes.

What?

Yeah, doesn't hurt himself, just spins it around next to his eyeball.

I'm sure that ain't the only place he's sticking those pencils.

Naw, he don't do anything else with 'em, but he did get caught once with a Planet of the Apes doll hanging out his asshole.

Goddamn.

Had to take him to the hospital. Kid had Dr. Zaius stuck half way up his butt, couldn't get it out.

I always loved that mute broad that Chuck Heston was shacking up with.

Nova, yeah she looked pretty sweet.

Yeah, now there's the perfect woman.

Can I get some stamps off ya? Did you fix the toilet yet?

Fuck, it's freezing.

Hey, listen to this... I think this is related to our Dr. Satan.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, in this book there's a chapter called Self Made Freaks about how people would mutilate themselves in order to work in a freak show. It mostly talks about tattooed people and wild men of Borneo and shit like that, but there is one mention of a single case where a woman was suspected of having her arms removed on purpose to become an arm-less wonder.

Yeah, so how does that fit with the story of four morons with a flat tire looking for a dead tree?

It says, "records show that Ellie Thompson was born in 1914 of normal physical stature and lived a life of normal bearings, until such time that she was placed in the care of the Willows State Mental Facility."

So.

Now she was put in the nuthouse in 1930 at the age of 16.

Why?

Blah, blah, blah... it doesn't say, but she was released sometime in 1937, only to reappear as Ellie Bogdan, the arm-less wonder. Says she, "criss-crossed the United States constantly in carnivals and freak shows until her death in 1946."

Yeah?

These dates perfectly correspond with the time frame of our beloved Dr. Satan working at the looney bin. I'll bet he amputated her arms.

So what?

I don't know, I just thought it was interesting.

You know what Jerry, who really cares at this point?

I don't... ...I just thought it was weird.

Come on sleeping beauty, time to go to work.

Sleeping.

Rise and shine.

No please, let me sit this one out.

Let's go. You're the one who wanted to be a photographer.

I resign.

Too late. You're in for life, let's move it out Private Shutterbug.

Christ, I hope this isn't more crappy folk art. It's so quaint... it's so primal... it's so crap.

Aw, it ain't crap... it's... cute. ...and really who are we to judge the artistic merit of the tin-can Mona Lisa?

Aw, shit... I gotta pee anyway.

It will be nice to have a few days off to regenerate. This trip is fun, but it's starting to get brutal.

Yeah, I hit burn out mode back at that old stripper lady's place. Watching her dance around with those ratty-looking animals was ridiculous.

I know, that was some crazy shit. I never in a million years would have believed it if I hadn't seen it.

A decent meal every once in a while wouldn't hurt either, this road food is crap.

If I never eat at another Waffle House again, I can die a happy girl.

Scattered, smothered and covered.

Exactly... well, I guess a couple more photos won't kill me.

I think I'm going fucking crazy.

I can't believe...

Jesus Christ.

I think I'm gonna have a fucking heart attack.

Don't be such a fucking smart ass.

Yeah, it's really your fault that we're stuck in this shithole in the first place.

God damn.

You find something, Georgie?

Yep, I found something.

What'd ya got there?

Keys.

Well Christ boy, don't stand there like a prize dog dick with his butthole caught up a tree.

Huh?

Open up the trunk.

Yes, sir.

God damn it, I must be fucking crazy to let him go off with that crazy fucking bitch.

Huh?

That stupid hillbilly slut.

Oh, don't blow everything out of proportion.

You didn't see the look she threw me. She's up to something.

This is way too fucked up for words.

I know the words... fucking psycho fucking bullshit, that's the words.

I'm with Denise, can't we just walk to someplace, this is getting fucking stupid.

Negative. Shit, we are so deep in the sticks we could walk for hours and find zero.

Why? Why are you doing this?

Doing what? Messy up your day? Well, fuck lady there are some bigger issues at hand... than your fucking have a nice fucking day bumper sticker shit!

Where's Bill?