MichaelOrme/Profane · Datasets at Hugging Face

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What was the problem?	The problem was me. I was... I was a pathological liar. Or am, I should say. Lying is like alcoholism, one is always "recovering".
The problem was me. I was... I was a pathological liar. Or am, I should say. Lying is like alcoholism, one is always "recovering".	So you lied to her?
So you lied to her?	Yes. I did. Willfully and repeatedly.
Yes. I did. Willfully and repeatedly.	How come?
How come?	I loved her for how good she made me feel, and I hated her for how good she made me feel. And at that time, I tended to express my feelings non- verbally. I couldn't handle anyone having that much control over my emotions.
I loved her for how good she made me feel, and I hated her for how good she made me feel. And at that time, I tended to express my feelings non- verbally. I couldn't handle anyone having that much control over my emotions.	And now you can?
And now you can?	Now I make sure that no one has the opportunity to test me.
Now I make sure that no one has the opportunity to test me.	Don't you get lonely?
Don't you get lonely?	How could I, with all these nice people stopping by? The fact is that I've lived by myself for so long, I can't imagine living with another person. It's amazing what you can get used to if enough time goes by. And anyway, I'm asking the questions. Are you happy?
How could I, with all these nice people stopping by? The fact is that I've lived by myself for so long, I can't imagine living with another person. It's amazing what you can get used to if enough time goes by. And anyway, I'm asking the questions. Are you happy?	I don't know anymore. I thought I was, but obviously I was wrong.
I don't know anymore. I thought I was, but obviously I was wrong.	Did you confront John with the fact that you knew about him?
Did you confront John with the fact that you knew about him?	Not yet. I'm not sure I will. I just want out.
Not yet. I'm not sure I will. I just want out.	If you do get out of your marriage, will you continue to be inhibited?
If you do get out of your marriage, will you continue to be inhibited?	I don't know. It all gets back to that Cynthia thing. I don't like her... eagerness. There's nothing left to imagine, there's no...
I don't know. It all gets back to that Cynthia thing. I don't like her... eagerness. There's nothing left to imagine, there's no...	Subtlety?
Subtlety?	Subtlety, yes. No subtlety. Plus, I've never really felt able to open up with anyone. I mean, that other person I told you about, I enjoyed making love with him a lot, but I still wasn't able to really let go. I always feel like I'm being watched and I shouldn't embarrass myself.
Subtlety, yes. No subtlety. Plus, I've never really felt able to open up with anyone. I mean, that other person I told you about, I enjoyed making love with him a lot, but I still wasn't able to really let go. I always feel like I'm being watched and I shouldn't embarrass myself.	And you feel the same way with John?
And you feel the same way with John?	Kind of. I mean, John's like this kind of... craftsman. Like he's a carpenter, and he makes really good tables. But that's all he can make, and I don't need anymore tables.
Kind of. I mean, John's like this kind of... craftsman. Like he's a carpenter, and he makes really good tables. But that's all he can make, and I don't need anymore tables.	Interesting analogy.
Interesting analogy.	I'm babbling.
I'm babbling.	No, you're not.
No, you're not.	God, I m so mad at him!!
God, I m so mad at him!!	You should be. He lied to you. So did Cynthia.
You should be. He lied to you. So did Cynthia.	Yeah, I know, but somehow I expect that from her, I mean, she'll do it with almost anybody, I don't know, I shouldn't stick up for her I guess, but him. He lied so... deeply!! Ooo, I want to watch him die!!
Who? Elizabeth?	Yes.
Yes.	You mean you're still in contact with her?
You mean you're still in contact with her?	No.
No.	But you're planning to be?
But you're planning to be?	I don't know. Possibly.
I don't know. Possibly.	Wait a minute, wait a minute. What's going on here? Did you come back here just to see her again?
Wait a minute, wait a minute. What's going on here? Did you come back here just to see her again?	Not entirely.
Not entirely.	But that was part of it?
But that was part of it?	Yes.
Yes.	Like maybe a big part?
Like maybe a big part?	Possibly.
Possibly.	Graham, I mean, what do you think her reaction is going to be if you contact her?
Graham, I mean, what do you think her reaction is going to be if you contact her?	I don't know.
I don't know.	Look at you, look at what's happened to you, look how you've changed! Don't you think she will have changed?
Look at you, look at what's happened to you, look how you've changed! Don't you think she will have changed?	I don't know. I really would rather not talk about it.
I don't know. I really would rather not talk about it.	Whoa!! I'm so glad we got that on tape!! You won't answer a question about Elizabeth, but I have to answer all these intimate questions about my sex life!! Graham, what do you think she's going to make of all these videotapes? Are you going to tell her about them? I can't imagine her being too understanding about that. But since you don't lie anymore, you'll have to say something.
Whoa!! I'm so glad we got that on tape!! You won't answer a question about Elizabeth, but I have to answer all these intimate questions about my sex life!! Graham, what do you think she's going to make of all these videotapes? Are you going to tell her about them? I can't imagine her being too understanding about that. But since you don't lie anymore, you'll have to say something.	As I said, I haven't decided what to do, exactly. Perhaps I won't do anything.
As I said, I haven't decided what to do, exactly. Perhaps I won't do anything.	Oh, you just moved here to think about it, right?
Jesus Christ! What the hell happened? I came home and your car was gone, the door was open, I thought for sure you'd been abducted by some mad fucker, I was literally just calling the cops when you walked in. What happened?	I want out of this marriage.
I want out of this marriage.	What?
What?	I want out of this marriage.
I want out of this marriage.	Why?
Why?	We'll call it uncontested or whatever. I just want out.
Goddammit, goddammit!! That son of a bitch!! Well, at least I know you didn't fuck him.	No, but I wanted to. I really wanted to, partially just to piss you off.
You son of a bitch!!	Not very often.
God damn you!!	Yes.
Are you afraid of his reaction? Of his finding you silly for thinking of such things?	No. I don't know. I haven't told him about the garbage thing because I'm pissed off at him right now. He's letting some old college buddy stay at our house for a couple of days, and he didn't even ask me about it. I mean, I would've said yes, I just wish he would've asked.
No. I don't know. I haven't told him about the garbage thing because I'm pissed off at him right now. He's letting some old college buddy stay at our house for a couple of days, and he didn't even ask me about it. I mean, I would've said yes, I just wish he would've asked.	What upsets you about that?
What upsets you about that?	I guess I'm upset because I can't really justify being upset, I mean, it's his house, really, he pays the mortgage.
I guess I'm upset because I can't really justify being upset, I mean, it's his house, really, he pays the mortgage.	But he asked you to quit your job, and you do have housework.
But he asked you to quit your job, and you do have housework.	Yeah, I know.
Yeah, I know.	This unexpected visit notwithstanding, how are things with John?
This unexpected visit notwithstanding, how are things with John?	Fine, I guess. Except right now I'm going through this where I don't want him to touch me.
I hate my sister.	Why?
Why?	Because all she thinks about are these guys she's after and I just hate her she's such a little slut I thought that in high school and I think that now. Why do people have to be so obsessed with sex all what's the big damn deal? I mean, it's okay and everything, but I don't understand when people let it control them, control their lives, why do they do that?
There are many things that can exert control over one's life, good and bad. Religion, greed, philanthropy, drugs.	I know, but this... I just feel like everybody I know right now is obsessed with sex.
Besides, even if I decided to fuck his brains out, what business is that of yours?	Do you have to say that?
Do you have to say that?	What?
What?	You know what. You say it just to irritate me.
You know what. You say it just to irritate me.	I say it because it's descriptive.
I say it because it's descriptive.	Well, he doesn't strike me as the kind of person that would go in for that sort of thing, anyway.
Well, he doesn't strike me as the kind of person that would go in for that sort of thing, anyway.	Ann, you always underestimate me.
Ann, you always underestimate me.	Well, I wonder why.
Well, I wonder why.	I think you're afraid to put the two of us in the same room together. I think you're afraid he'll be undeniably drawn to me.
I think you're afraid to put the two of us in the same room together. I think you're afraid he'll be undeniably drawn to me.	Oh, for God's sake. Really, Cynthia, really, I don't think he's your type.
Oh, for God's sake. Really, Cynthia, really, I don't think he's your type.	"My type"? What is this bullshit? How would you know what "my type" is?
"My type"? What is this bullshit? How would you know what "my type" is?	I have a pretty good idea.
I have a pretty good idea.	Ann, you don't have a clue. Look, I don't even know why we're discussing this, I'll just call him myself.
Ann, you don't have a clue. Look, I don't even know why we're discussing this, I'll just call him myself.	He doesn't have a phone.
He doesn't have a phone.	Well, I'll call him when he does.
Well, I'll call him when he does.	But he won't.
But he won't.	What are you talking about?
What are you talking about?	He's not getting a phone, he doesn't like talking on the phone.
He's not getting a phone, he doesn't like talking on the phone.	Oh, please. Okay, so give me the Zen master's address, I'll think of a reason to stop by.
Oh, please. Okay, so give me the Zen master's address, I'll think of a reason to stop by.	Let me talk to him first.
Let me talk to him first.	Why? Just give me the address, you won't even have to be involved.
Why? Just give me the address, you won't even have to be involved.	I don't feel right just giving you the address so that you can go over there and...
I don't feel right just giving you the address so that you can go over there and...	And what?
And what?	And... do whatever it is you do.
Lose something?	That goddam diamond stud earring that cost me a fucking fortune.
That goddam diamond stud earring that cost me a fucking fortune.	Are you getting Mom something for her birthday?
Are you getting Mom something for her birthday?	I don't know, I'll get her a card or something.
I don't know, I'll get her a card or something.	A card? For her fiftieth birthday?
A card? For her fiftieth birthday?	What's wrong with that?
What's wrong with that?	Don't you think she deserves a little more than a card? I mean, the woman gave birth to you. It's her fiftieth birthday --
Don't you think she deserves a little more than a card? I mean, the woman gave birth to you. It's her fiftieth birthday --	Will you stop? Jesus.
Will you stop? Jesus.	I just thought it might --
I just thought it might --	Okay, Ann, okay. How about this: you buy her something nice, and I'll pay for half. All right?
Okay, Ann, okay. How about this: you buy her something nice, and I'll pay for half. All right?	Fine.
Fine.	Good. Now, if you'll pardon me, I have to go to work.
Good. Now, if you'll pardon me, I have to go to work.	I was thinking maybe I shouldn't be in therapy anymore.
I don't... he doesn't want you to come over.	What do you mean he doesn't want me to come over? Did you tell him about me?
What do you mean he doesn't want me to come over? Did you tell him about me?	No, I didn't.
No, I didn't.	Why not?
Why not?	Because I never got around to it.
Because I never got around to it.	Well, why?

What was the problem?

The problem was me. I was... I was a pathological liar. Or am, I should say. Lying is like alcoholism, one is always "recovering".

So you lied to her?

Yes. I did. Willfully and repeatedly.

How come?

I loved her for how good she made me feel, and I hated her for how good she made me feel. And at that time, I tended to express my feelings non- verbally. I couldn't handle anyone having that much control over my emotions.

And now you can?

Now I make sure that no one has the opportunity to test me.

Don't you get lonely?

How could I, with all these nice people stopping by? The fact is that I've lived by myself for so long, I can't imagine living with another person. It's amazing what you can get used to if enough time goes by. And anyway, I'm asking the questions. Are you happy?

I don't know anymore. I thought I was, but obviously I was wrong.

Did you confront John with the fact that you knew about him?

Not yet. I'm not sure I will. I just want out.

If you do get out of your marriage, will you continue to be inhibited?

I don't know. It all gets back to that Cynthia thing. I don't like her... eagerness. There's nothing left to imagine, there's no...

Subtlety?

Subtlety, yes. No subtlety. Plus, I've never really felt able to open up with anyone. I mean, that other person I told you about, I enjoyed making love with him a lot, but I still wasn't able to really let go. I always feel like I'm being watched and I shouldn't embarrass myself.

And you feel the same way with John?

Kind of. I mean, John's like this kind of... craftsman. Like he's a carpenter, and he makes really good tables. But that's all he can make, and I don't need anymore tables.

Interesting analogy.

I'm babbling.

No, you're not.

God, I m so mad at him!!

You should be. He lied to you. So did Cynthia.

Yeah, I know, but somehow I expect that from her, I mean, she'll do it with almost anybody, I don't know, I shouldn't stick up for her I guess, but him. He lied so... deeply!! Ooo, I want to watch him die!!

Who? Elizabeth?

Yes.

You mean you're still in contact with her?

No.

But you're planning to be?

I don't know. Possibly.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. What's going on here? Did you come back here just to see her again?

Not entirely.

But that was part of it?

Yes.

Like maybe a big part?

Possibly.

Graham, I mean, what do you think her reaction is going to be if you contact her?

I don't know.

Look at you, look at what's happened to you, look how you've changed! Don't you think she will have changed?

I don't know. I really would rather not talk about it.

Whoa!! I'm so glad we got that on tape!! You won't answer a question about Elizabeth, but I have to answer all these intimate questions about my sex life!! Graham, what do you think she's going to make of all these videotapes? Are you going to tell her about them? I can't imagine her being too understanding about that. But since you don't lie anymore, you'll have to say something.

As I said, I haven't decided what to do, exactly. Perhaps I won't do anything.

Oh, you just moved here to think about it, right?

Jesus Christ! What the hell happened? I came home and your car was gone, the door was open, I thought for sure you'd been abducted by some mad fucker, I was literally just calling the cops when you walked in. What happened?

I want out of this marriage.

What?

I want out of this marriage.

Why?

We'll call it uncontested or whatever. I just want out.

Goddammit, goddammit!! That son of a bitch!! Well, at least I know you didn't fuck him.

No, but I wanted to. I really wanted to, partially just to piss you off.

You son of a bitch!!

Not very often.

God damn you!!

Yes.

Are you afraid of his reaction? Of his finding you silly for thinking of such things?

No. I don't know. I haven't told him about the garbage thing because I'm pissed off at him right now. He's letting some old college buddy stay at our house for a couple of days, and he didn't even ask me about it. I mean, I would've said yes, I just wish he would've asked.

What upsets you about that?

I guess I'm upset because I can't really justify being upset, I mean, it's his house, really, he pays the mortgage.

But he asked you to quit your job, and you do have housework.

Yeah, I know.

This unexpected visit notwithstanding, how are things with John?

Fine, I guess. Except right now I'm going through this where I don't want him to touch me.

I hate my sister.

Why?

Because all she thinks about are these guys she's after and I just hate her she's such a little slut I thought that in high school and I think that now. Why do people have to be so obsessed with sex all what's the big damn deal? I mean, it's okay and everything, but I don't understand when people let it control them, control their lives, why do they do that?

There are many things that can exert control over one's life, good and bad. Religion, greed, philanthropy, drugs.

I know, but this... I just feel like everybody I know right now is obsessed with sex.

Besides, even if I decided to fuck his brains out, what business is that of yours?

Do you have to say that?

What?

You know what. You say it just to irritate me.

I say it because it's descriptive.

Well, he doesn't strike me as the kind of person that would go in for that sort of thing, anyway.

Ann, you always underestimate me.

Well, I wonder why.

I think you're afraid to put the two of us in the same room together. I think you're afraid he'll be undeniably drawn to me.

Oh, for God's sake. Really, Cynthia, really, I don't think he's your type.

"My type"? What is this bullshit? How would you know what "my type" is?

I have a pretty good idea.

Ann, you don't have a clue. Look, I don't even know why we're discussing this, I'll just call him myself.

He doesn't have a phone.

Well, I'll call him when he does.

But he won't.

What are you talking about?

He's not getting a phone, he doesn't like talking on the phone.

Oh, please. Okay, so give me the Zen master's address, I'll think of a reason to stop by.

Let me talk to him first.

Why? Just give me the address, you won't even have to be involved.

I don't feel right just giving you the address so that you can go over there and...

And what?

And... do whatever it is you do.

Lose something?

That goddam diamond stud earring that cost me a fucking fortune.

Are you getting Mom something for her birthday?

I don't know, I'll get her a card or something.

A card? For her fiftieth birthday?

What's wrong with that?

Don't you think she deserves a little more than a card? I mean, the woman gave birth to you. It's her fiftieth birthday --

Will you stop? Jesus.

I just thought it might --

Okay, Ann, okay. How about this: you buy her something nice, and I'll pay for half. All right?

Fine.

Good. Now, if you'll pardon me, I have to go to work.

I was thinking maybe I shouldn't be in therapy anymore.

I don't... he doesn't want you to come over.

What do you mean he doesn't want me to come over? Did you tell him about me?

No, I didn't.

Why not?

Because I never got around to it.

Well, why?