Datasets:

NicholasSynovic
/

Modified-VEAA

Dataset card Data Studio Files Files and versions Community

Split (2)

train · 42.9k rows

text stringlengths 1.96k 5.76k	author int64 1 50
bo at home safe continued mrs with a little sigh of relief while she softly patted elizabeth s band which she still held the arrival of with the tea created a diversion and elizabeth having no more convenient place to set the tray on cleared a space at one end of the writing table her various books and papers mrs into a heap at the other end to make room for it tliis arrangement was not altogether a tidy one and consequently not altogether to mrs s taste she could not help observing it with discomfort all disorder was painful to her but she to make any open on the top of the other papers conspicuous both from its shape and color lay the lawyer s letter that elizabeth had lately been reading it lay open rather notice and mrs s attention as she sat waiting for her cup of tea was easily won she could not help noticing that it was a business letter and she began wondering vaguely what it contained at another time she would have to appear to take any for interest in a private matter of her niece s it would have been almost impossible to her to put questions about it but her recent fright and present sense of returning comfort and security had somewhat relaxed her moral so to speak she felt idly fascinated by the open letter her eyes wandered toward it repeatedly as elizabeth poured out and handed her her tea all the while about the storm which still rolled overhead about mr s journey about the road from and the young chestnut horse mrs was aware of a growing desire to know what business the letter could refer to and became more and more disposed as she drank a second excellent and cup of tea and began to feel quite secure of herself and at her ease again to ask some direct question concerning it poor lady her recent adventures and emotions had shaken her out of the safe little along which she generally and now that she was recovering her footing a sketch m black and white ber state of mind was one in which she was liable to make unfortunate excursions in various directions i as mrs finished her second cup of tea the temptation became altogether too strong to be any longer resisted s thoughts had wandered away to the frank proposal she was just remembering how she had fallen asleep after reading her sister in law s letter and recalling her uncomfortable dream about mrs and the sand castles when that lady suddenly spoke elizabeth was roused immediately from her reverie there seemed to be some subtle connection between her own thoughts and her aunt s unexpected questions is that a letter from your lawyer elizabeth asked mrs she felt rather glad that she was sitting in the dark for she was aware that she flushed a little and she wished to appear perfectly easy and composed yes answered elizabeth she was sorry that her aunt had asked her and but for the softening influences of their late meeting and of mrs s loving kiss which still lingered pleasantly with her she would probably have contented herself with that reply just now however she felt but slight temptation to be toward her aunt even though she did ask for questions it is wonderfully soothing and agreeable to be at peace with other people so after a moment s pause elizabeth continued it is from mr about the house we had in london it seems that the present tenant gives it up in september indeed said mrs tea and darkness mrs made brave began to bad quite a to know a little more of matter did you expect tbat it would be given up so soon no said turning ber face away and looking sadly out of tbe window at tbe dull stormy sky i didn t remember on terms tbe was let i was of very different just at tbe time tbe arrangement was made you know aunt yes yes said mrs but bad no disposition to let tbe conversation drop felt a little worried bad not any desire to enter fully into question and to at ber own formed at tbe same time wanted to be amiable and bad a consciousness too that mrs was sitting still merely waiting for further communications it is never pleasant to have information silently extracted from one tbe letter only came to day said elizabeth at last turning toward ber aunt i should have spoken to uncle about it but he was so busy morning tbat i didn t like to bother him with it yes answered mrs but with more of inquiry than of mere assent in her tone tbe good lady was quite alert now all the of half an hour ago bad gone out of ber she was refreshed by tea and by sitting still in a safe place the thunder too was slowly dying away in tbe far distance which was decidedly encouraging to her spirits she was beginning to feel a little irritated at elizabeth s want of but ber moral was no longer relaxed and though she wanted more than ever to know all about the matter she bad re a in and self control to be determined to ask no more direct there was rather a long pause elizabeth was stationed between the two windows so that the light was concentrated about her white figure she sat resting one elbow on the comer of the writing table and was apparently deeply engaged in the not very intellectual employment of her on the edge of her cup it was the sort of thing mrs could not manage to be unconscious of she hated to see things put to wrong uses somehow the delicate sympathy which had a little while before between the two women seemed to be	32
growing fainter and fainter and to be losing itself in the light of common day each of them from different causes felt a trifle annoyed with the other at last elizabeth s spoon slipped with a little and splash into her cup it seemed somehow to bring her to a sudden decision for she looked up and spoke again mr wants to know whether i wish to have the house let again at once or keep it in my own hands there can not be any doubt as to your answer my dear mrs remarked quietly but a little why i don t quite understand you answered elizabeth who being conscious of her own growing desires in the matter wished that her aunt did not think the question so perfectly obvious and simple of course you must let the house i don t quite see why it should be of course said elizabeth the last two words and beginning to feel rather obstinate it really seems to me a matter that requires some little consideration mrs my dear how can it be replied mrs she sat up quite straight in her chair the pink flush in her cheeks deepened she looked at elizabeth with an air of surprise not to say consternation it was very tiresome mrs felt that just at the moment when everything seemed to be going so pleasantly and smoothly this apple of discord should drop down between them but the were their usual sway over her and she felt bound to speak clearly and decidedly however disagreeable it might be to do so it would be quite impossible for you to live in london alone you know and there can be no object in the house standing empty she said i don t see that it would be at all impossible for me to spend the winter in london answered elizabeth i could let the house again for the season and come back here mrs leaned a little forward in her dusky corner and pressed the palms of her hands together rather nervously as they lay in her lap but my dear elizabeth don t you understand that a young woman of your age and position ought not to live by herself it would appear so very strange i don t know what people would say i don t ask you to consider your uncle and me or our feelings at your leaving us i merely ask you to think for a moment how very strange this plan of yours must appear to every one ton must see at once that it is impossible it couldn t be done said mrs with considerable dignity and decision but why couldn t it be done rejoined elizabeth a m and the tbat her aunt treated the idea as utterly raised a strong spirit of opposition in her it is an but unfortunately a certain fact that two people are never more likely to have a serious and bitter quarrel than just they are recovering from an attack of unusually affection the excitement produces a reaction which too frequently is very dangerous of course i only want to go for a time aunt elizabeth continued you know how glad i am to be with you and uncle but i should be very glad to spend a few in london and after all why is it so absurd for me to think of living alone lots of other women are obliged to do it but you are not obliged to do it my dear said mrs here is here are your own relations here is the home you have always been accustomed to there is no reason for you to seek another tou are not in the position of a woman is obliged to live alone in your case indeed it would be obviously tou speak altogether too strongly aunt said elizabeth herself up i am not in the habit of proposing to do things that are obviously there was a pause mrs was aware that she had made a false step i wish and i intend said elizabeth to see something of my of robert s relations this year she waited a moment to steady her voice which was a little and then went on distinctly tells me how much they want to see me she asked me to go abroad with them this month i don t e to do mrs b that just now but i really must them later on they would bo close to me in london and i should like to see them quietly in my own home i should prefer that to staying with them for any length of mrs looked down at her clasped hands and said softly it would surely bo unnecessary for you to do that in any case but i don t think so you see rejoined elizabeth rather hotly and in this matter i really must follow my own judgment aunt i can t agree with you my dear said mrs with quiet in a question like this the opinion of those who are older and more experienced than you of those who stand to you as your uncle and i do in the place of parents their opinion i must think should be not only considered but by uncle has not had an opportunity of giving his opinion yet said elizabeth well then in his absence elizabeth i hold it to be my duty to speak quite plainly to you mrs paused she gathered up all her courage and then said understand that i entirely of this proposal entirely elizabeth stood up and rested her hands on the back of her chair she was growing a little excited and sitting still was irksome to her she would have been glad to avoid a scene with aunt but she felt strongly that if she wanted to secure her	32
independence it was a case of now or never also she believed that mrs s social objection to the frank was at the bottom of her strong opposition to a h m and white this london scheme elizabeth was fiercely determined to stand by her husband s relations her very doubt as to her entire devotion to robert made her desperately anxious to pay all due honor to his people and at this moment her desire for a larger and more sphere of life than that which offered her ranged itself alongside her loyalty to the dead and made her ready to fight out the with poor little mrs to the bitter end i must speak plainly too she said the real truth is that you can t endure the frank you don t think them to the mark you want me to drop them altogether pray pray cried mrs with an agitated little wave of her hands as though robert s tiresome relations to the remotest quarter of the globe pray don t let us begin discussing that unfortunate subject you want me to settle down elizabeth went on with increasing warmth the frank dismissal as if nothing had happened as if there was no difference between what i am now and what i was as a girl tou want me just to miss out all the last few years except in the way of wearing black gowns don t you see don t you understand that it is impossible for me not to want to see robert s relations that i can t give up the past altogether you are quite wrong and mistaken answered mrs quickly i have no wish that you should not be different that you should not realize your situation it is you elizabeth i must say it who seem to me to disregard your situation oh i dear me cried the poor lady in much agitation and distress don t you see that it is hardly decent really hardly decent for you to propose to settle in london and go about and entertain people when you have been only a few months a widow don t you see that it is absolutely wanting in proper respect for your husband s memory elizabeth s face scarlet now she did not care what she said every little unpleasant word that mrs had ever spoken every worldly suggestion every small act of every want of comprehension of the position of others every stupidity that her aunt had ever committed rushed into elizabeth s mind like most of us she had an excellent memory for the faults of her near relations all the bitter feelings she had nourished in secret against mrs filled her and pouring themselves forth in a torrent of excited words how dare you say such a thing aunt she cried how dare you accuse me of such a thing you to speak to me of want of proper respect when you are trying to make me give up robert s own brother and hold myself too to associate with him and his wife i what would he have cared for the sort of respect which consists in sitting up with the blinds half down and wearing loads of and wondering whether this and that and the other person thinks you look unhappy enough a very precious sort of respect that consisting in clothes merely and little trivial forms a careful paying of the of and and while the matters the love and the justice and gratitude gratitude to his own brother to his own flesh and blood are forgotten and neglected you don t understand me i a h in and cried elizabeth yoa never have understood me i ton want to ran me into your own little social and have me for ever thinking what a set of stupid ignorant unimportant people are saying about me instead of letting me be honest and faithful as i want to be you are cruel you are very cruel elizabeth said mrs slowly she pressed her hand to her side as if in actual physical pain it is you you that are cruel answered elizabeth passionately you who want to and my poor life and build it in on every side with miserable conventional i want to live i think i already though i am so young i have had troubles which you know nothing about i have had to bear disappointment sorrow and anguish haven t i suffered enough already but that i must be and in at every turn with these wretched worldly considerations that i must submit to be bored almost to death that i must settle down finally at one in the of without a hope or prospect in the future don t you see i long to gather ap my life and begin again to do something to be interested in living i am young and strong i can t make up my mind to here wasting myself in useless regrets you have your husband aunt and your home and your life is full of what you like but i look she said spreading out her hands with a despairing gesture i have absolutely nothing surely you can get on perfectly well without me let me go at all events for a time let me see and the world let me live a little and not here ah i life may be so full and beautiful mrs for me else let me go have no right to prevent me i just then the clouds parted and the glare of a stormy sunset filled all the room elizabeth s white dress as she stood in the gaudy light was stained with an angry orange glow shaken with her passion and with her own wild words her brown hair disordered and her eyes flashing	32
she looked like the very spirit of the fierce and beautiful sunset away there down in the west mrs had risen too she stood in the dim and dusky comer of the room where elizabeth had set the arm chair for her with so much tender solicitude hardly an hour ago truly only those whom we love can really torture us in this world in that short hour half the joy of poor mrs s heart had withered and faded and died the child whom she had brought up whom she had tried to persuade herself she loved as her very own had turned upon her and shown her that there was a great gulf fixed between them had plucked the very heart out of her poor respectable life and trampled it under strong young feet mrs was filled with bitterness she and elizabeth could never be the same to each other again there was a rent in their mutual love which could only be patched and never it seemed to her be mended wholly mrs felt very tired she wanted to go away and be quiet somewhere but she could not go without a parting word she herself for a moment with one hand on the arm of her chair then she said in a thin hard voice you are quite right elizabeth i do not under a sketch ik black and stand you at this moment i i hare bo wish to understand you for you seem to me to be in a singularly exaggerated and ill regulated state of mind we think very differently i may be rather old fashioned but you are so painfully violent that it is quite useless for us to attempt to have any further on this matter while you remain at i must ask you to treat me and my friends whom you so greatly despise with common courtesy and respect and for my part you may rest assured she added that i shall not interfere in any way with your plans and arrangements in future as she finished speaking mrs moved out from her shadowy comer into the glare of the fierce sunlight elizabeth was shocked when she saw how pinched and aged she looked as the light fell on her her heart smote her and she came forward quickly ah i you are tired you are ill aunt she said i have but mrs put her sternly aside i will begin at once to learn to do without you elizabeth she answered and went slowly out of the room elizabeth flung herself down on the floor in the midst of the lurid sunshine and resting her head on the hard window seat sobbed bitterly pride and remorse struggled together within her the picture of her past troubles and of her present desolation which she had called up by her own words affected her profoundly everything seemed to have fallen short of her hopes and expectations everything had yielded her less joy and satisfaction than she asked of it poor child i she had always desired so passion mrs to be happy she had tried bo hard to be happy her aunt had told her to be her husband had told her to be good her own heart told her always to be happy and it told her so still still she longed and and struggled and still the phantom of happiness and escaped her she said give me this one thing more and i shall bo happy she got the one thing and found that the old longing and clung to her yet sometimes it made her hardy selfish and as she knew she had been to day she hated herself and yet ed all the same for the thing which seemed as though it might possibly bring her happiness good and evil are most mixed up in us the wheat and the flourish only too well close side by side elizabeth was generous and selfish cruel and tender hearted all at the same time she needed many a lesson yet from the hard and steady teacher experience whose teaching though slow is so absolutely and awfully at last the dinner bell rang while she was still crying her heart out in the dying sunshine with her sweet face pressed down on the window seat a minute or two later knocked at the door elizabeth jumped up hastily and stood with her back to the light so as if possible to hide the signs of her late agitation from that worthy woman s eyes she felt that it would be impossible to go down stairs and talk good little commonplace talk to her aunt over her dinner for propriety s sake so she sent word that she had a bad headache and wanted to bo quiet and mrs who from pure habit would have sat down to dinner at seven o clock if all the world had been coming to an end at half past eight found herself obliged a in black and to take her evening meal in melancholy silence and solitude poets and find other persons of an habit of mind have a pretty that nature laughs over their joys and with them in all their but to a calm observer this seems to be rather an view of the matter two women who in that pleasant quiet old house should have stood to each other in the gentle and beautiful relation of mother and daughter lay awake far into the summer night each in her own chamber alone elizabeth with passionate tears asking why the husband who might have guided trained and saved her was taken from her side so soon and mrs with the cruel dry eyed sorrow of age asking bitterly as she had asked many times these thirty years why god had seen fit to deny her the sacred joys of for which she had so	32
prayed and yet the night was serene and the stars shone peacefully out of the deep purple summer sky the pastures spread fresh and sweet under the soft breeze and in the morning the sun ai se rejoicing like a giant to run his course the night was as solemnly glad and the morning as gay as though no poor human hearts were torn with painful struggle and and with the deadly weight of love grown cold chapter vn no extravagant hope the which the was away was a very wretched one at mrs main wrapped herself in a garment of cold and rigid civility fortunately for her there were no more thunder storms and elizabeth alternately and penitent spent a good many hours in her own room writing letters to mr and tearing them up again she was compelled to answer mrs frank s letter without delay so she wrote a short and rather irritable note saying that was out of the question for her at present holding out vague hopes of a meeting in london in the autumn and so few words on the babies and their that her sister in law who always had a lively inclination to read between the lines immediately arrived at the conclusion that the old as she called them in familiar conversation her with husband must have been perfectly odious and that elizabeth must have suffered such a at their hands that she had no sympathy left poor dear to on anybody but herself people are strong one sometimes fears in proportion to their mrs main in virtue a sketch in and of limited imagination had a remarkable power of maintaining a fixed attitude of mind and of manner elizabeth s feelings on the contrary a good deal more than once a word from her aunt would oven now have opened the flood gates of repentance and she would have herself and asked pardon but mrs remained hopelessly the same every look and every word implied delicately but surely that she was outraged astonished greatly pained utterly shocked that she was well aware that she and elizabeth were aunt and niece and owed each other a certain consideration from that fact but stopped mr was coming in a few days he must speak the final word meanwhile she would stand by her colors support the position she had taken up and maintain a dignified and suggestive silence there is nothing more than being in a very few days of this state of things wore enough to all s latent tenderness and her in rebellion and two days before mr s return she wrote definitely to the lawyer to inform him that she should take up her residence in london in september and to request him therefore to take no further steps regarding the letting of her house conversation under these unfortunate conditions was difficult and the two ladies found time hang so heavily on their hands that they welcomed warmly any little incident which broke in upon the monotonous round of half silent and mr the of who has already been mentioned in these pages was not an object of great admiration either to mrs or to elizabeth it was rather surprising to observe in what a remarkably kindly spirit they both received him at this when he one afternoon to pay a long owed visit mr had given himself a day s holiday time was precious he measured it out with a hand and having done one social duty by taking luncheon with the at ho thought it well as the day must it seemed be given over to to walk on the five miles from there and pay this visit at mr had started to walk with him but the roads were dusty and the day extremely warm mr was a man of a soft temperament moreover he had generously of a hot one o clock dinner prepared with unusual delicacy and plenty in honor of the expected guest by the time he reached the outskirts of parish mr was aware that his courage was out at every pore he began to think it might be dangerous for a man at his time of life to take a long walk so soon after eating he had uncomfortable visions of and mrs who entertained hopes that her oldest daughter s as an and district visitor might have made some impression on mr s mind had suggested privately that this walk would be an excellent opportunity for finding out how far that gentleman s heart was entangled by s useful if not romantic for the position of a clergyman s wife but mr was altogether too hot for delicate he longed for his own study slippers and an old and easy coat at this moment far more than for any matrimonial advantages that might a h ik white to his eldest daughter therefore bo suddenly remembered tbat be bad forgotten yery important and bidding witb many of regret his younger and more vigorous companion a warm adieu be turned homeward walking erect and fast to carry out the idea of urgent business as long as there was any chance of mr turning back and seeing him then after wiping bis face several times and leaning for a while against a shady five barred gate he slowly homeward to bis wife s inquiries concerning his conversation with their late guest with as much ingenuity and as few as be might mr was a tall thin man with a black beard and a rather high forehead which bad a tendency to itself up into irritable lines he ba almost energetic and took real comfort in the thought of his mental and physical activity and in the fact that ho was a total he believed tbat ho possessed the original healthy mind in a healthy body this belief gave him a certain inclination to	32
sit upon his friends and acquaintances he felt convinced that if every one would only take his advice and follow bis example a sort of of peace and plenty would immediately set in mr belonged to that section of english which not contented with trying to rule the has a strong desire to rule the world as well they the life of their in the most alarming way everything from the eastward position to the state of the pig seems to come within their province as a rule they are not greatly beloved poor mr waa really a very admirable pure minded and devoted man but he made himself the measure of the universe and unfortunately that measure seemed not to be entirely correct somewhere he had cast up all social and religious problems according to it over and over again but though he felt sure he was right the answer did not work out in universal peace and good will as it so obviously ought to have done mr arrived warm energetic and at that afternoon and was ushered into the cool shaded drawing room where elizabeth received him with unusual kindness of mr rather himself on a stern indifference to his but it was impossible for him not to be distinctly aware of the contrast between tlie bare dining room at steaming with early dinner the ill dressed miss with their anxious mother and the pleasant repose of this stately old room and quiet self possession of the graceful young widow mr tried to be practical and tell himself that it was merely a difference of so many hundreds or perhaps thousands a year and that the ought not to be blamed or mrs admired for the difference but unfortunately when one s eyes are pleased it is a little difficult to keep facts in view mr could not help being rather gratified at his reception he had no great respect for mr but he began to think it more than possible that this handsome serious looking young lady might be considerably less darkened by prejudice or ignorance of a m black social and questions than lier relations elizabeth listened so graciously to his that a sudden thought flashed into mr s mind he knew that it was a little unworthy of his stem somewhat ideal of life but still there it was would it be to convert and then take possession of this fair daughter of the and use all the power and gold against the themselves to use it for the of the cause and of the spread of sound church teaching and the just administration of the poor law the parish of was too small by any means to mr s large stock of energy this audacious idea which had started all into his brain seemed to him a very attractive outlet for much of his up force as he sat talking to elizabeth enjoying the cool atmosphere and though ho would hardly have liked to admit it the sight of her sweet face this idea gave to his manner just that touch of softness and respect in which it was generally wanting he eloquent concerning free and open the miserable condition of the cottages of some of the laboring poor at and the sorrow and degradation consequent on drink till elizabeth who had only hailed his coming as a relief from her sense of discomfort and began to think him not only but really rather interesting and mrs though she knew it was high treason to agree with him became willing to that his motives might be good though poor young man he was wrong headed on some points and not at all the sort of person she had always been accustomed to mrs life seemed full of possibilities to mr as he strode home that evening in the he left practical matters alone for a while and indulged himself with building a series of pleasing castles in the air he saw himself on the high road to a general making of the crooked straight and of the rough places plain he was more than ever confident in the certain arrival of a consequent on the acceptance of his views by the world at large but alas for mr s visions of future triumph when he reached home he found an angry letter from mr saying that his servants refused in a body to attend church unless orders were distinctly given by the that strangers were not to bo put into their while mr the principal bass in the choir who as he said himself had sung there man and boy this twenty years come next was waiting in the study to announce with more than that as mr thought his self such an uncommon good and took people down so sharp at the he might sing bass for his self in the future as he mr wasn t going to stand up there to be spoke to before a lot of boys he should go to chapel next sunday where folks knew when they d got hold of a tidy singer and behaved according mr s forehead itself up very much his charming castles resolved themselves into the fine air out of which they were originally constructed ho gave up thinking of the conquest of the fair daughter of the for a time and plunged wearily back into the actual but though vexation and the sudden reaction from a m and white his exalted state of f him thus to pat the idea aside for a while he did not it altogether he was sensible that there was a new element in his life at last mr came home and the inmates of the were awakened from the state of and discomfort in which they had existed since the of the thunder storm nothing regarding elizabeth s revolt was said on the night of his	32
return indeed it would have been difficult to get time to make any announcement mr was not usually a great but ho kept up the pretty old fashioned habit falling i into in these hurrying days of telling his wife all about it when he came home from any little journey what he had said and what everybody else had said what he had done willingly and what he had been compelled to do unwillingly gates and fences this man s beasts and that man s sheep what local had called what sort of dinners the s wife had prepared for him how late the train was how long he took going here and going there finally how glad he was to be at home again all these matters were with simple cheery dignity as though highly important and received by mrs with attention and appropriate remarks it was a very real relief to both women to listen to this stream of talk after the silence and of the last week it was comfortable and to have the sound of a man s footstep about the house again and to hear mr clear his throat in that loud way so much affected by the english country gentleman elizabeth was rather excited and almost disposed to repent of her decided action regarding the london house she regretted that she had not had an opportunity of talking the matter fairly over with her uncle now she feared he would hear a very one sided account of the business from her aunt decided for herself she felt it would be out of place for her to speak to him on the subject first ho must speak to her and ho could only do so when mrs had put him in possession of the facts from her point of view elizabeth had a large confidence in mr s charity and comprehension she felt sure he would not judge her harshly or narrowly still he would be he must be pained at learning her strongly expressed desire and it would lose none of its force in her aunt s recital of it to leave most likely mrs would have tlie whole matter out with her husband next morning to night she was evidently too happy at getting him back and had too much respect for the time honored custom of hearing all about it to interrupt the harmony of the occasion by the introduction of home matters to morrow poor elizabeth felt she would be judged she almost prayed that the verdict might be a merciful one she had taken the responsibility upon herself she intended to depart but she earnestly desired to depart in at least with her uncle chapter vm wo out mj and i oh i we foil out i know not why and again with had been a heavy shower of rain in the night and the morning was hot damp and even on the high land where the village stood down in the valley and along the winding coarse of the brook lay long lines of mist which the sun veiled by a of thin gray cloud had not as yet sufficient power to bum up it was one of those very quiet summer mornings when the damp earth smells sweet and the cattle lie lazily down in the rich growing grass and the birds keep up such a lively search over and garden beds for worms that they have hardly time to sing mr stood on the flight of stone steps which led from the bow window of his study down into the garden lie was smoking a comfortable cigar and looking over the day s paper which had just brought him mr was in a particularly pleasant and serene attitude of mind he was conscious of having done a good week s work and of being glad to be at home again he felt a quiet satisfaction at being surrounded with familiar objects and at being sure that there would be no peculiarities in the mrs cooking of his dinner ho thoroughly appreciated the order and solid comfort of his own house after his short absence from home and the two fox sat on the gravel walk just in front of him in a trembling agony of repressed excitement prepared if their master showed the smallest disposition of his present occupation and going for a stroll first to spring into the air with frantic joy and then rush madly after him and before him in any direction the brown lay on the steps in a state of absolute repose occasionally turning a meditative and contemptuous eye upon the two anxious below he possessed all the dignified calmness of manner which belongs to an assured position in the world while the fox were victims to the ill regulated vivacity of youth and to that excessive desire for notice which belongs both to dogs and men who are still on their promotion the blue smoke wreaths from mr s cigar rose and floated out slowly on the heavy air ho felt thoroughly contented with himself and at peace with all mankind not the most violent speech of the most radical member of the government would have had power to him greatly just then the inner door of the study opened gently mr looked round with a smile he recognized at once the quiet way in which his wife always opened and shut a door without noise and without hurry well he said still smiling and using naturally enough in his present complacent state of mind the old pet name by which he had called her in pleasant hours for so many years well what do you want a in and white mrs was just a trifle nervous she walked rather more rapidly than usual across the room to the open window looking at her husband all the while with a timid suggestion	32
of apology iu her expression she saw that he was happy and contented she came as the bearer of evil tidings and it grieved her i am so sorry to interrupt you she said laying a small hand upon the arm of his rough shooting coat but i have been sadly disturbed and distressed while you have been away i had no opportunity of talking to you last night but fm afraid i must trouble you with it this morning dear me i said the looking down at her what s the matter has jones broken out in all of a sudden or has there been a row with about the relief that fellow s always making some bother at the board and trying to make cut off a shilling here and a loaf there if there was any chance of that man s having to go into the himself some day he d look at the matter from a very much more merciful point of view i suspect mr took a long pull at his cigar in rather a way as if by so doing he hoped in some mysterious manner to reduce mr s income so sensibly that that individual might speedily find himself in danger of ending his days in the it has nothing to do with answered mrs in truth she found it very difficult with her husband standing there of any serious trouble to in her story johnson hasn t given warning i hope said mr mrs i spoke to him rather sharply before i went away about leaving the drive in a mess he was surly but i thought he d have got over it by the time i back ko johnson is just as civil and respectful as usual mrs sat down there was a favorite arm chair of the s drawn into the window and she felt that she could talk better sitting down heart was beating fast and it was a little trying to stand up it is about elizabeth she said that i want to speak to you elizabeth tlie took his cigar out of his mouth and let the newspaper drop to the ground thereby causing and to jump at the wholly conclusion that he was going for a walk and throwing them into a frightful state of agitation get down dogs he said rather roughly and then added why my dear what in the world has done elizabeth t done anything yet replied but she doing something which i am sure you will agree with me in thinking most indeed said mr with a touch of surprise loved his wife very faithfully too faithfully to stand aside from and her he would not permit himself to be clear sighted regarding her the boyish devotion with which as a tall lad he had and won pretty a sketch black and white ford with her sweet pink and white face and little curls arose in him even now and blinded him to her f and weaknesses and only when she laid hands on elizabeth who looked at him with the same clear gray eyes and spoke to him in the same full toned voice as the younger brother whom he lost years ago and mourned so deeply then and then only did s loyalty a little and did he allow himself to question for a moment the entire wisdom of his wife s thought and action husband s tone might warned mi s that ho was not prepared to bo sympathetic but the whole bitterness of the scene with her niece and of her own subsequent meditations overwhelmed her as soon as she had fairly begun her she went on with an almost painful and with very little perception of her listener s real state of mind elizabeth she said s tired of already she told me so violently and without any regard for my feelings her heart is set upon being a great deal with poor mr s relations of whom i m sure you have just the same opinion that i have myself very respectable people perhaps for their position in life but not at all the sort of companions we should choose for elizabeth ah said the the thought of the frank was to him still he did not like to have elizabeth blamed she can not be content with what we have to offer her here mrs main continued she told me very plainly that our neighbors bored her to death she u full of all sorts of wild ideas about a larger life great interests and i don t know what besides i should not have thought elizabeth capable of using such yery strong expressions as she did and when did all this happen asked mr he wanted to get hold of his facts before venturing into the slippery region of opinions the day you went away there was a as i wrote you word when i was driving back from i arrived at home very much agitated you know how i dislike thunder and elizabeth was most loving and gentle to mo mrs main paused she had a painful choking sensation in her throat just for a moment but she mastered it and went on and then i most unfortunately asked some questions about a letter from her lawyer and this was the result well and what does elizabeth propose to do inquired mr still anxious to possess himself of facts why she declares she will go up and settle in london alone fancy alone at her age a more girl like her it is impossible it would be absolutely scandalous if we allowed her to but where does she mean to live asked the in the house poor mr left her didn t i tell you the tenant gives it up in september tliat was what her lawyer wrote	32
about oh i said mr slowly he began to see daylight now but he wanted a few minutes to arrange his ideas before he spoke he was still standing on the step just outside the open bow a in and and he turned and looked out over the lawn and had gone off in and were doing a little independent in the on the left the see their white bodies glancing in and out of the as they ran hither and thither lie whistled to them or twice not because he in the least wanted them but merely because he wanted to gain time mrs sat up stiffly in the arm chair she had not produced the effect she had intended to and was a little at husband s apparent indifference words did not come easily to and she was afraid she had rather a lame account of the affair she had hoped for instant justification and strong support she did not despair of getting it even now but it seemed to linger a good deal on the road and meanwhile she felt somewhat sore and injured at last mr turned round there was a strangely wistful look on his face which became his stem features wonderfully well it was a look that mrs could remember long years ago she thought he had looked like that sometimes when he used to say good by to her after one of those happy days at hall before they married lie said quite quietly i m afraid we must let the child go cried mrs amazed and outraged beyond words we ve no right to keep her he went on sadly just to please our own eyes with her grace and beauty you and i are growing old and this house is dull for her the young love the young you know we did mrs and why shouldn t she of course she wants to get away and be with people of her own age mr looked out over the lawn again toward the but he did not see anything very clearly there was a mist before his eyes for a minute or two neither spoke then mrs asked coldly but how is she to live alone i suppose she ll find servants as other people do tou d better send smart or with her to help her manage at first this was just the last straw to poor mrs that elizabeth should go nay that she should be supported in her rebellion was surely bad enough but as a climax that she should bo ordered to give up one of her two favorite servants to prevent this young prodigal suffering in any degree from the result of her own rash actions was intolerable and not to be endured as soon as she was sufficiently recovered from the shock to be capable of speaking at all mrs said in a harsh deeply displeased voice you surprise me i did not expect this from you it seems that i and the comfort of our household everything in fact is to bo sacrificed to elizabeth s and fancies i can not see that we have any right to prevent her going he said again i don t want to make you unhappy or part you and ood knows but i can t see any other way out of this business oh that i only had a child of my own i cried mrs suddenly in her extreme distress she pressed her hands passionately together and her face a sketch in black and white m grew pale and pinched with the excess of her emotion mr drew himself up to his full height and an unpleasant straight line out itself deep into his f between his thick eyebrows these two people very rarely mentioned the real sorrow of their lives to each other but it was hardly ever absent from mrs s mind all the same the want the disappointment was always present with her terrible urgent she tried to hide and conceal it and only in moments of very strong feeling did she give voice to the sorrow that she always felt mr had desired a child as as his wife at this moment he would have given his right hand to see a tall handsome boy who would call him father leap that sunk fence out of the meadow and swing across the smooth lawn to greet him but men are much less impatient of the inevitable than women mr had got accustomed to the fact of having no child it was speaking one of the very foundation stones of his life utterly immovable nothing could alter the fact he took it for granted and it was only when his wife s bitter cry rang in his ears as it did just now that he realized clearly how great his loss was the very tramp under the hedge has children and why not i cried mrs again the stepped inside the window he laid his hand quietly on her shoulder my darling he said if you had had a child it might have caused you infinitely deeper sorrow than any you know now tour heart is empty but it might mrs been tortured and broken with agony of thank god you know nothing he waited a moment and then added we have each other after all and the memory of long peaceful years to look back upon and i hope though we might have done more for this place that still we have not lived here quite in vain and that we shall leave things just a trifle better than we found take comfort dear heart lot the child go and trust for the best in the future mrs stood up her heart within her she said very quietly and putting her arms round his neck gave him a long sighing kiss the first kiss	32
of the youth and the maiden io in the glory of his strength and she in the glory of her beauty is the very blossom of life the inspiration of the poet and makes the round world laugh with joy but the kiss of man and wife in the dusty afternoon of life when the transport and illusion of youth are dead after long years of disappointment struggle and hope grown tired in the stress and strain of daily living the of those two pausing for a moment and turning to each other in faithful love while the road stretches out before them pale and misty into the silence of the great unknown land telling as it does of temptation and patient endurance may well fill heaven itself and the clear eyed angels with a solemn gladness mrs s soul received comfort protested no longer she would utter no complaint though the most excellent of her maids was taken from her she did not approve but for love s dear sake she sub a in black she would let elizabeth depart in peace when he was left alone mr took a or two up and down the study he had been deeply moved for a moment ho had seemed to look into the everlasting heart of things it was a fine sensation undoubtedly but the air on these extreme heights of feeling is too highly for ordinary human lungs to stand it long the felt he must descend to lower ground again as soon as possible and walk in comfortable every day paths he shrank modestly from the thought of his own emotion and wanted to get back to his usual level without delay there was none of that about him which treasures up and caresses the remembrance of strong feeling when the feeling itself has passed away he went out on to the steps and drew a long breath of the sweet summer air flung away the stump of his cigar and picking up the paper tried to compose himself by glancing over the foreign the weather and the state of the by this time the morning was pretty far advanced and the sun had risen high the clouds which had obscured it earlier and burning up the mists which lingered about the valley it was evidently going to be a day the two tired with their excursion into the were lying panting on the gravel walk with their red tongues out of their mouths they were very hot and yet they earnestly desired some fresh excitement having like most light minded people an unlimited swallow for sensation of any kind the was just settling down comfortably to the news mrs t m from and the latest in french chamber when a little incident occurred which the dogs craving for and threatened to force mr back into the region of emotion from which he was just successfully escaping elizabeth had about the house for some time after breakfast she fully expected a summons from her aunt or uncle and listened rather anxiously for a call or for the ringing of the study bell but the house was unusually quiet she could hear the maids moving about in the upper rooms and talking a little over their work the warm air was filled with the drowsy hum of bees which attracted by the plants and cut flowers in the sitting rooms had wandered in through the wide open windows and were now becoming a little worried and angry in their unsuccessful efforts to get out again elizabeth grew more and more nervous it is horrible to know that people are discussing you and your conduct especially when you have a lurking suspicion that it is possible to view both one and the other in a very unpleasant light elizabeth found that she could not fix her attention on anything her thoughts would keep wandering away to the study and to the little scene which was probably being there at last she picked up a book and taking her made her way out into the garden hoping to attain there to that philosophic calm of mind which was obviously indoors she thought after wandering about for a little while that she would go to the broad walk which at this time of day would be pleasantly shaded and where as the wind was in the west she would benefit by all the breeze that might be stirring to reach this cool a m and white hi retreat she had to cross the bottom of the lawn on to which the study windows opened and seeing elizabeth in the distance as she walked slowly across the lawn and thinking that she presented an excellent object on which to their superfluous energies and thinking also that she might possibly be into taking them for a walk made a rush at her oyer the grass and leaped up on her with excited and foolish delight mr aware even amid the fiery and of the members of the french chamber that something had moved near him looked up sharply and perceiving elizabeth s shouted to the dogs and hurried across to her rescue he thought elizabeth wonderfully pretty as with a flushed face half vexed and half laughing she struggled with her book and and the two irrepressible all at once i wish you would teach your dogs to practice a little more self control uncle she said looking up at him quite forgetting in the confusion of the moment that mr had in all probability just been hearing a very full and particular account of her sins they have almost torn me to pieces and made me so hot he did not answer but applied himself to the two by a short and summary process to a becoming state of humility and obedience then taking elizabeth s book from her he walked silently beside her	32
to the broad walk as she recovered from the of the last few moments all her returned her uncle s si made her fear that he might have accepted mrs mrs s of their of opinion as literally true and might put the worst construction on her action she was afraid he thought her ungrateful and indifferent not only to her relations pleasure but wanting as mrs had told her in proper respect to her husband s memory if mr did think these things then elizabeth felt that she should be deeply ashamed that she should lose her self confidence and be obliged to confess that she had made a most contemptible mistake stung by a sharp sense of discomfort and self distrust elizabeth stopped suddenly and glanced at mr hoping to gather some information from the expression of his face their eyes met mr looked at the beautiful young woman earnestly and sadly for a moment then he said so you want to go away from us the tone of her uncle s voice affected elizabeth strongly but she read in his face that he did not wholly condemn her and immediately she desired to justify herself she dug the point of her rather nervously into the ground as she spoke but she answered clearly and directly i have several good reasons for wishing to go up to london this winter i believe that i owe a certain duty to robert s relations she paused a moment and mr turned his head away there was something very painful to him in the thought that this young creature was a widow it seemed so so out of the reasonable course of things he disliked to hear her make any direct allusion to her husband i know aunt does not recognize any duty to a in and white on mj part but i can t help that i must judge for myself in some matters elizabeth drew herself up a little proudly she had regained her confidence in the justice of her own cause yes said mr speaking slowly so i haye been telling your aunt ton want to see more of the world than you can in a quiet out of the way country like this it is quite natural i don t blame you you are still very young and life is still full of promise to you here is old and has very little promise in it except the sure promise of ho added half to himself smiling rather sadly and sticking out his under lip elizabeth turned to him suddenly i don t want to leave you she said with emphasis ah but there s the rub answered the you see unfortunately in this world we can t take a bit here and a bit there just as we like with a little trouble we can generally get the thing we want but in the getting of it wo are pretty sure to lose something else we care a good deal about too it isn t pleasant my dear but like a good many other unpleasant things it s true mr spoke seriously out of the of his own experience elizabeth stood gazing away to the far blue horizon and wishing that truth was of a less harsh and nature that the law of all should be sacrifice in some form or other seems rather hard at one and twenty so my dear child said l ir more cheerfully see and know au that you can live in the thick of the stir and the turmoil and then some day perhaps when you have grown a little sick and mrs tired of it all most people grow sick and tired at last you may be glad to come back to poor sleepy old elizabeth might go but she wanted more than just leave to do that she wanted to feel sure that it was all right between her and her uncle she laid her hand gently on his arm and said simply as she might have done when she was quite a little child but you re sure you are not very angry with me uncle no no he answered quickly looking at her with keen kindly gray eyes i have never been very angry with you in all your life have i come now that matter s settled and done with we ll say no more about it but go round to the stables and have a look at the horses chapter ix if t to please to your point with modesty and ease it would not bo to say that tho and of had actually fallen in love with elizabeth on tho hot afternoon deserted half way by worthy mr he called alone at falling in love is altogether too poetical and fanciful a term to apply justly to mr s state of feeling when he from the irritation into which his squire s letter and mr s disposition to join a and body had thrown him he began to think almost oftener than he wished of mrs of all things in the world he power he would use power for the best and highest ends of course but still the enjoyment of the mere possession of it was enormous to him as he prepared sermons in his bleak uncomfortable study as he went about his parish the and giving rather grim consolation to the in church on sunday mr could not help seeing of all he might gain of the extended sphere of influence he might possess if he really hardly liked to put the thought into words he could marry mrs how far her personal charms influenced him mrs mr did not care to ask himself he affected a certain of thought which made him to admit that he was in any way moved by the fact that mrs was a singularly handsome woman he	32
among the green lily and floating weeds beyond are pastures with their herds of quiet cattle and lands covered at the time of which wo are speaking with yellow standing com beyond again are line after of blue and round headed elm trees broken here and there by the tall straight spire of a solitary and fading at last into the faint tender gray of the horizon a common type of landscape but pleasant in sunny summer weather with a suggestion of prosperity and repose life would be very dull in the country unless we all ourselves a good deal on our own possessions and indulged in a wholesome contempt not with envy sometimes for the possessions of our neighbors herself on the beauty of her the of her and on the wide stretch of her view when you called on her you were certain to be conveyed out into the garden let the grass bo as damp as it might and were expected to fall into discreet concerning the said flowers and view mrs and elizabeth of course suffered this fate mrs established herself and her guests in garden chairs under a broad spreading tree and then plunged into the question of elizabeth tried to feel interested in but her domestic instincts were not very strong and the subject upon her after a while she tried to amuse herself by watching the darting about among the green lily leaves on the pond but there seemed no particular object in all their hurried and she felt a little provoked with so much cheerful alacrity all about nothing in fact elizabeth was a good deal bored and for the second time during their acquaintance she was far from displeased at the advent of mr when that gentleman s tall black figure emerged from the house and he came across the turf to the little group under the the two elder ladies were too much engrossed in their conversation to have any time to bestow upon the new comer it followed therefore that after a very few minutes mr found himself perfectly free to de a h in black and white vote bis attention to elizabeth he drew up a in front of her and prepared to make tbe most of his unexpected opportunity mr was not naturally a person especially when bo bad some end which bo wanted to gain in view he was not at all in the habit of feeling any lack of self confidence but on this occasion he did feel slightly embarrassed the garden chair was low and he was conscious that it forced him into a rather position he looked in fact yery much like a of right angles it was mr s misfortune always to suggest to one s mind a problem in rather than any satisfactory type of human beauty he had been thinking so frequently during the last few weeks about the handsome graceful young woman who sat opposite to him that he could not help a sort of sense that she must be somewhat aware of his thoughts and plans concerning her then her yery beauty was disturbing mr began to fear that the world at large might hardly recognize his entire in sacrificing himself upon the altar of for the sake of the cause still he did not from his purpose in truth the purpose seemed to become more clear and distinct moment the glories of his promised seemed to glow around him the triumph of wisdom his own opinion over folly other people s opinions seemed beautifully sure and certain but first ho must try to convince and convert this charming woman on the whole he could not help that she seemed a little glad to see him after a few preliminary observations about tlie weather and the crops two subjects which stand on the threshold of conversation and must be overcome before an attempt npon more interesting is possible mr began to discourse about those matters which lay so near his heart he was most anxious to know how far his companion was of his way of thinking how far there was a hope of her with a real enthusiasm for the cause he talked well about the questions he cared for and now inspired by the determination to impress and if necessary convert her he became almost eloquent at last mrs and mrs having after much pretty well exhausted the subject of rose from their chairs we are going to the elizabeth said mrs turning to her niece are you not coming with us elizabeth felt that the inquiry partook somewhat of the nature of a command her aunt evidently thought she had bestowed quite sufficient attention upon mr but she was interested in the conversation and felt no disposition to cut it short i ll follow you in a minute or two aunt she answered smiling at the two ladies i know how lovely mrs s flowers always are mrs waited for a moment but elizabeth sat still so absolutely refusing to take her gentle hint that she had nothing left but to turn away with her hostess leaving her niece and mr deep in conversation i am very much interested in all you have been saying said elizabeth as soon as they were alone i can quite imagine that these subjects might become very absorbing but for my own part i am afraid i a in and white am too selfish and indolent to very much about them she looked at mr as she spoke rather what a pity it was that his forehead went into such hard lines and that his face had always a touch of vexation in its expression i you do yourself an injustice believe me mrs said he earnestly leaning forward with his hands on his knees and looking more than ever you may have had you	32
may have had no opportunity of studying these things but if you once understood their immense importance you would i am sure take an active practical interest in them think what a noble work assuring and the position of the helping forward the cause of progress and morality among the masses i ah said mr inspired with the magnitude of his own of future virtue and happiness these things arc indeed worth giving one s life for i perhaps said elizabeth slowly no no mrs ho answered quickly it is no doubtful perhaps it is a very distinct and absolute certainty he added in a slightly professional tone a time must come to each one of us when we shall hardly be careful to ask ourselves whether our past years have been easy and agreeable but rather whether they have been as useful and admirable as it was possible for us to make them the remembrance of solid work of work accomplished and completed will form our only lasting satisfaction in looking back there was something compelling in the strength of mr s personal conviction it commanded elizabeth s respect and yet she had a lingering feeling that bis ideal out that is lovely and and worthy to be made room for in this world mr s ideal seemed to her rather bare and commonplace and wanting in poetry there is nothing very romantic in well or in a of for wine at dinner i am afraid and to certain natures even the thought of church is devoid of any very keen dramatic interest mr s ideal seemed to her of a painfully urgent practical business like description it suggested the notion of getting up so very early in the morning and sitting down to dinner in walking boots to save time and living in a condition of severe indifference to the graceful and leisurely side of things yet it was noble elizabeth felt puzzled turned away and let her eyes wander over the quiet sunny landscape to the blue distance of the horizon her face was serious almost sad in its expression mr sat looking at her he was aware that he had made an impression and yet he found it very difficult to keep his mind steady to the cause just in this critical moment of possible success he wished to be hard and but alas the beauty of this woman was more powerful than he had calculated for mr would have rather liked to himself yet he could not help gazing still at elizabeth at last she turned to him again and said but i have known people work and strive and wear themselves out for these things and yet in the end the result of all their labor seemed remarkably small a mere drop in the ocean they sacrificed themselves and really it seemed on the whole to make no great difference a in and ah answered mr we must give the movement time in time everybody must come round to our point of view he drew himself up and summoned all his enthusiasm to his rescue in time ho said every one must acknowledge the advantage of strongly measures regarding the liquor traffic of a more thorough system of church organization and of greater unity of purpose among the clergy themselves to be arrived at by frequent and so on the country is not educated in these ways yet and there has been a lamentable degree of among the clergy themselves till the last few years but a better state of things is beginning there is a growing spirit of devotion and earnestness among us and i sincerely believe that the sense of the majority of the lay world is on our side i have no fear as to the ultimate success of our cause if we can get workers enough the harvest is ripe the call now is for the mr paused a moment then he leaned forward toward his fair companion and tried to throw a tone of and delicate appeal into his voice and manner unfortunately mr was always observed to be most successful in his appeals were liable to appear slightly forced and seldom produced a very satisfactory effect upon his we need the help of women as well as of men mrs he said in her most glorious and fruitful seasons the church has always claimed the labor of her daughters as well as that of her sons in her great harvest field there is room nay there is a mrs and absolute need for tho feminine as well as the masculine virtues she can use the humility devotion and that fondness for detail which is common to your as well as the thought and persistent vigor which is the of ours tho priest is the and recognized leader but he must be supported his work must be in every and on a smaller scale in every parish we want to establish a thoroughly adequate and organization in which man and woman young and mature mr paused a moment and then went on with a little rush married and single will each a all find their proper place and proper sphere of usefulness does not this appeal to your mind mrs do you not sec what a grand opening there is here for all kinds of talents while each individual is by the sympathy and of the whole body singly we are powerless united we may successfully struggle with and subdue all the evils of our day elizabeth sat still gazing into the distance while the summer wind her cheek and the rich of the filled the warm air great ideas were very attractive to her for a moment her own desires and disappointments seemed very small and unimportant would it not be better she wondered to give up all idea of personal happiness and throw herself into this movement for	32
the good of the church and of the people proverb says that one man s meat is another man s poison it is a slightly fact both had been somewhat carried away by mr s address when suddenly it struck her how very lightly her uncle would treat these schemes of church govern a in and ment how he would probably call mr a and his fine fancies so much and rubbish the thought of mr s cheerful contempt caused elizabeth a certain of feeling she turned to mr who excited and warm with his own eloquence was sitting bolt upright with an expression on his face in which triumph struggled with anxiety but think now of she said my uncle you know cares very little for all these lie is quite willing that things should go on in their old quiet fashion i don t suppose anything would induce him to go to a church or preach a against poor old who keeps the bed horse or to lead the very active life you have suggested yet his parish is orderly and well conducted the people come to church regularly and as far as i can make out we haven t half the and there that there seem to be in all the round about how do you account for that mr had an unpleasant sensation a little as though he had been going down stairs and had mistaken two steps for one this speech brought him up with a nasty jar he did not quite see how to answer it with an accurate regard both for truth and for mrs s feelings it was a regular woman s argument ho thought impatiently personal affection as usual preventing a dear understanding of the matter in hand he had just been making such a lot of room for the feminine virtues and now the chief of them devotion was getting sadly in his way it was very trying to be put in such a situation after a pause he said rather shortly mrs is an case tho feeling there is very strong still i personally am too sincere a liberal to admire feeling i think it and want of true in the poor but i can not say that it may not sometimes be used for good ends at this may be the case he felt a little unhappy when he had spoken a little afraid that he was softening down the hard edges of truth for the sake of a pretty woman a little afraid that he had been called upon to make a choice between mrs and a clear conscience and that he had chosen the former a little afraid that he was not quite such a whole hearted straightforward man as when he had stood in the cottage doorway an hour before scolding the woman for not sending her children to school it is never pleasant to sink in one s own estimation to a man of mr s order of mind whose whole life s work is upon a strong belief in his own it is simply intolerable he felt compelled to set his conscience at rest again he turned to elizabeth and spoke eagerly desiring earnestly to win her to his opinions and thereby justify in the end his own momentary from the strict path of virtue i wish ho said i do wish most truly mrs that i could persuade you to take a living interest in these matters elizabeth felt almost annoyed by the with which he spoke just then a servant came across from the house to announce that tea was ready indoors elizabeth rose and mr before turning to follow the messenger spoke again i wish it very much he said mrs will you let me lend you some books and a sketch in black and white which will put ore you more and forcibly than i can the importance of these questions vm afraid i shouldn t have time to read them now she answered wishing that he would not make the matter a personal one then later in the autumn ho insisted i will bring them over to there is always plenty of time for reading during the long evenings i sha n t be here then said elizabeth they were walking across the lawn to the house mr stopped short and asked quite sharply with a decided touch of his usual why where are you going to london she answered and added slowly i don t quite know when i shall come back she remembered mr s words she would only come back when sh i had seen everything and grown tired of everything it seemed to elizabeth standing opposite to mr with his vexed and anxious face in the quiet sunny of the summer afternoon that it might be a very long time before that came to pass mr drank mrs s excellent tea in silence and devoured her perfect bread and butter without a word he was intensely annoyed all his plans seemed to be broken off short his had been coming on so nicely and now everything seemed over mrs was going away and mr mentally had recourse to the again he did not quite like to think how very much he minded her going chapter x oh d id always not only painful but bewildering in going back after a lapse of time to a house one has known very intimately under other circumstances it is haunted by dead and absent faces and it is haunted too by an past self which dogs one s footsteps for ever crying reproachfully are you different why are you no longer what you were which is the true and eternal which is the false and passing self the past and the present struggle together and it is difficult to reconcile them one has a necessity upon one to	32
perhaps she had all these little things about her the rooms would seem less silent and ghostly and she would bo better able to shake off the load of loneliness and sorrow oppressed her strengthened with this thought elizabeth leaving her hardly tasted breakfast called and went up stairs to her own room to examine the contents of some in which she had put away her wedding presents and other little household gods having china at herself and under for not it properly for many years and having moreover a disposition like many good servants to respect a mistress in proportion to the quantity and value of her goods went nothing to assist at the of these stores of treasures elizabeth when she opened the first cupboard could not help feeling a childish sense of pleasure she took the pretty things from their hiding place standing on a chair so as to get at the top shelves and handed them down to who with various observations wiped them and put them ready to carry down stairs the windows of the bedroom were open and the room was full of sunny light but elizabeth had passed a sleepless night and had hardly eaten anything that morning suddenly she felt herself turn sick and faint the sight of all these foolish little bits of china and wedding gifts became intolerable to her they reminded her too strongly and vividly of the past each thing had its history trivial and unimportant and yet telling with terrible clearness of hours and days dead for ever of change and loss of a in black and white fl hopes and of past tenderness tbat might have been little regarded at the moment and could never never be repaid now elizabeth herself with one hand on the shelf of the cupboard but a tiny delicate cup she was holding in the other slipped from her grasp and fell shattered upon the floor oh dear ma am it s broken i cried the w in a lamentable voice elizabeth stepped down from the chair and leaning her two hands for support on the back of it said i can t go on it s dreadful it is a sad pity you dropped it ma am answered it s broke past mending now it s lucky it s not one of the best though these blue ones like the set mrs is so precious of in the glass cupboard on the landing at home it would have been a real pity if you had broke one of them oh it isn t that said elizabeth hardly knowing whether to laugh or to cry at the contrast between her own sensations and s conception of them i don t care about breaking the cup it s the whole thing it is dreadful being here i wonder why i ever came it is strange at first answered with a slight glimmering of the situation but it will seem more natural after a bit ma am yes it s broke past mending she added to herself as she stooped down to collect the scattered fragments of the poor little china cup elizabeth stood still leaning her hands on the back of the chair her eyes fixed on the open window and a far away look on her face she could see the gray houses on the other side of the street which were mostly shut up still with closed blinds and shutters mrs looked singularly dull and in the glare of the dusty morning sunshine an organ was the airs from the last comic opera a little way off street cries in tones once fresh but now strained and hoarse rose now and again in pathetic from the street below while the confused muffled roar of the great leading down to bridge formed a dull bass to the nearer sounds elizabeth stood involuntarily listening everything seemed to her very sad very trivial very indifferent very terrible at that moment life was far too vast and and dark for her to try to comprehend it all she could not understand why she was left alone like this with no one to train and help and guide her tlie strain of the last few days was telling upon her heavily she seemed to suffer a moral and spiritual and to lose her hold upon all realities past present and future were alike an to her rising from her stooping posture with a slightly heated face after collecting the fragments of the broken cup gazed at her in alarm dear dear how white and ill you do look ma am she said hastily shall i fetch you some wine or something how i wish mrs smart was here to see to you i i never was a very good hand at nursing oh i i shall bo all right in a minute answered elizabeth sitting down wearily but i can t go on the china tou must do it yourself please i m so tired i ll go down stairs and bo quiet she got up after a few minutes and went down into the bare drawing room but it was impossible in her present frame of mind for elizabeth to be quiet being a in quiet meant back into the of morbid from which ihe had tried bo hard to rouse herself at breakfast time being quiet meant crying till she was utterly tired out and then in despair deciding to own herself beaten and going back to things had come to a crisis elizabeth felt she must make up her mind once and for all the atmosphere of the room seemed to her she went hastily and threw both the windows on to the balcony up as high as they would go letting the fresh air and all the confused stir and murmur of the street in with a rush then she	32
settled so near us exclaimed mrs frank coming with a pleasant rustle of many garments into elizabeth s drawing room one afternoon toward the end of october mrs frank took the stage admirably her and left nothing to be desired she always looked neat and fresh always equally mistress of herself and of the situation wherever she was she appeared to become quite naturally the of the system of things everything round her she was more highly finished both in looks and manner than is usual with our who too often have a tendency toward uncertainty of outline i suppose it may be reckoned as one of the many unfortunate results of our misty dingy english climate that are apt to be slightly indistinct they frequently suggest the notion of persons moving about in the twilight who are nervous lest they should be betrayed into mistakes by the semi darkness around them there is something agreeable if a little startling in meeting with a woman like mrs frank in whose mind the brightest daylight always and moves through life with admirable consequent on the clearness of her mental atmosphere she was a dainty little person with a white complexion large blue eyes rather too light in color perhaps and fair brown hair arranged low on her forehead in soft waves her features were small and neat without having any claims to remarkable beauty she was exceedingly pleasant to look at there were no mysteries surprises or sudden about her having seen her once you had seen her always did not you unexpectedly on the other hand she never disappointed you but always produced the same effect of comfortable security and refined self satisfaction on the whole women liked mrs frank more than men did they found her so capable and so supporting a few of her acquaintances certainly accused her of taking up a little too much room and having too great a disposition to her pretty fingers into eveiy pie but then who shall escape altogether mrs frank was not only truly glad to see elizabeth again but she had a little bit of on hand and nothing raised her spirits and gave such a delicate zest to her intercourse with her fellow creatures as the consciousness that it was necessary for her to manage them and do her best gently and to get her own way with them that morning at breakfast frank to kindly and easy going nature anything in the shape of a scene was utterly distasteful had said to her from behind his morning paper a in and ask elizabeth to dine here to morrow night yes she had answered somewhat she was deeply engaged in to the wants of her eldest child a slim curly headed little girl of about three who sat perched upon a high chair at the breakfast table and whose behavior as soon as her hunger was satisfied had become decidedly more cheerful than i think i ll ask or to dinner too continued frank emerging from behind his paper again why my darling child do remember to hold your spoon with your right hand the first time she comes frank i should really think elizabeth would prefer to be alone with us frank was feeling rather dismal and rather irritable the memories of a very bad passage across the the day before still haunted him lie was sensible that his play time was over for this year and that nine months of hard work stretched out before him he was very fond of elizabeth he admired her greatly but he shrank from the idea of a pathetic interview with her and desired to erect a of indifferent friends between himself and any unnecessary of emotion on her part well you see really he answered in slightly a depressed and grumbling tone the meeting must be rather painful anyway i haven t seen elizabeth since february and of course she ll feel coming here again you can t be sure of elizabeth you know and i hate to see a woman upset it s so very unpleasant mrs i really think would go off if somebody else was here too darling a little more milk don t it there yes perhaps it would be best said mrs frank only frank if we must have somebody pray ask mr was never very intelligent and he is too utterly tiresome now that he has gone on to the stage he talks the most unlimited shop young gentlemen always arc a bore when they like their professions they treat one to so much unnecessary information about them oh good child she cried suddenly what an awful mess i during the time that her mother had been occupied in on poor mr s had indulged in a little experiment in by pouring half the contents of her on to the table cloth a shallow river after among the plates and forks and was now pouring cheerfully in a miniature off the edge of the table and on to the little girl s lap quick a frank cried his wife her frock will be utterly ruined while frank assisted to dam up the river and s wet he continued his little i m sure s a charming fellow you never have appreciated him women are so horribly prejudiced there that ll do frank you re doing more harm than good now i always dislike anybody i m always being told to admire it is only natural now be careful and don t make any more very a in and white well then fu ask elizabeth to and mr is to come too shall i tell her that really fm afraid she said looking across at her husband it will seem rather odd what shall i say but frank having gained his point became quite ready to dismiss all further consideration of the matter in a light	32
and airy manner oh anything you like he said you re far more ingenious than i am now i must go good by you dirty little dear he added as he stooped down and kissed the little maiden in the high chair it was in consequence of this conversation that mrs frank arrived at elizabeth s that afternoon with a sense that she had a mission to accomplish she had quite settled in her own mind that for everybody s comfort there had better be as little allusion to the past as possible she strongly objected herself to sorrow misfortune or death and did her best to their existence so she decided to meet her sister in law in a cheerful and easy spirit it is perfectly charming to see you again and have you really settled near us she said as she kissed elizabeth on both cheeks holding her hands and smiling at her in a composed and way now my dear i ve only come in for five minutes yes thanks i will sit down here by the fire and warm my feet i am cold there that s nice you dear creature she continued smiling at elizabeth again as soon as she had established herself comfortably you can t think how glad i am that you have come i really am thankful you made up your mind to leave you must have been nearly bored to death how anybody ever to live in the mrs try all the year round i for my part simply can t imagine tea yes please and plenty of sugar thanks dear what lovely hands you have elizabeth elizabeth smiled too as she gave mrs frank her cup of tea the two women were sitting in front of the fire with a low tea table between them mrs frank warming her feet in a remarkably neat pair of french boots on the elizabeth was inclined to accuse her sister in law of being rather at the same time she could not help being amused at her she had been almost entirely alone for the last six weeks and felt somewhat out of the habit of talking herself conversation too in the neighborhood of i wont to move forward with singular deliberation a not a rapid stream flowing slowly round large islands of silence which seem to throw dense heavy shadows across its lazy waters mrs frank s great determination of words to the mouth struck elizabeth as really surprising for the influences were strongly upon her still we only got home last night continued mrs frank her tea complacently after such an detestable passage nurses babies everybody even frank himself reduced to a state of limp misery which well my dear i ll leave it to your imagination however here we are and we ve had a lovely summer and actually i left the children for a whole week and went off to paris alone with frank it was delightful i thought i should have been miserable at being away from the children you know i ought certainly to have been entirely miserable but a sketch in black and u in point of fact i wasn t the maternal instinct went to sleep for a week which was a mercy frank wanted to take me straight off to pictures and churches and all manner of things but i retired to shop for some time first i simply can t walk about paris in english clothes there s no real pleasure in life if you know you ve too many or too few buttons on the back of your jacket i m dreadfully weak minded i want a lot of material support if my clothes are not all right my mind won t work a bit existence becomes a nightmare may i have some more bread and butter thanks but my dear elizabeth she said suddenly how perfectly lovely you ve made this house it s absolutely charming i am consumed with envy i shall feel broken hearted when i see my own again to night but you know i never seem to have any money to go in for this sort of thing elizabeth could not help looking rather at her sister in law s gown yes i know said mrs frank but it really wasn t expensive i always bargain now just look she added standing up and turning her back on elizabeth doesn t it fit in the waist and look at the hang of the skirt fm french she said turning round again suddenly from my bonnet to my boots consequently i am utterly happy and defy the ah you dear sweet sober elizabeth she went on laughing and catching hold of elizabeth s extended to save the tea cup which during these little of mrs frank s had been in imminent danger of its contents all over the carpet and her gown you think me horribly trivial don t you don t i bore you dreadfully mrs no on the answered elizabeth smiling i think you very clever and you entertain me immensely ah i m thankful for that said mrs frank into her chair again you must have been quite enough bored in the country without being bored here as well now do tell me she added bending forward and looking rather hard at elizabeth with her large innocent blue eyes weren t the annoyed at your coming away my aunt objected to it answered elizabeth drawing herself up she did not quite like s tone and she felt that it would be impossible to make her comprehend the mixed feelings with which she regarded her relations at belonged to a different world elizabeth knew that she could not understand the it seemed to be her fate poor elizabeth thought always to defend absent relations from the sharp criticism of present ones i fancy she	32
does not regard us with at all favorable eyes does she said mrs frank looking brightly in elizabeth s face she doesn t know you and she has strong elizabeth paused prejudices said her sister in law oh yes i understand perfectly she us and was very angry at your coming and wanted you to drop us altogether and you defied her in an heroic way charming elizabeth and your uncle you know i want to know about him frank was immensely impressed with him and gave me quite an excited account of his looks and a in and white manner and bo on but i don t hj any means fancy mr returned all the admiration frank kindly bestowed on him i think i made that out i am very fond of my uncle said elizabeth rather stiffly perhaps i c are for him more than for any one else oh said mrs frank with a little comprehensive nod she saw that she had touched on dangerous ground but she was not easily abashed well now yon know i came not only to welcome you you dear creature and to tell you how delighted i am that you ve come but to ask you to dine with us to morrow frank s fearfully busy he is longing to see you but he has nothing but his evenings just now he thought perhaps you would come and see him as there is a about his coming to see you do dine with us to morrow night we shall only be four four inquired elizabeth mrs frank shrugged her shoulders and smiled ah she said looking up at her hostess in a way you must make up your mind to the friends elizabeth they are quite inevitable only mr is coming to dinner to morrow at seven o did i tell you seven he really is very pleasant and cultivated and musical you won t mind him will you elizabeth felt disappointed and vexed she had looked forward to seeing frank alone it seemed to her strange that any should be permitted to intrude upon them at their first meeting elizabeth was certainly rather inconsistent she was too much disposed to her circumstances herself but she re mrs marked any tendency to them on the part of others with considerable irritation our faults are generally distasteful to us when we see them committed by another person however as she could not reasonably object to meet mr she answered after a minute s consideration oh no i shall not mind that s all right said mrs frank getting up settling down the waist of her dress with both hands and then proceeding to button her gloves leisurely to tell you the truth elizabeth she continued slowly without looking up mr is very desirous of seeing you he hoped so much to have met you abroad with us i wonder what ho will say about you he has views about everybody i think ho will say you are very original i think you are very original myself certainly but she added turning toward elizabeth who was still sitting by the tea table with a slightly annoyed expression on her face do you know you give me rather an uncomfortable impression elizabeth tou always have done so i always feel as if there was a lot more behind as if you would surprise us all very much some day go into a or do something else very magnificent and slightly unpleasant elizabeth got up hastily don t be so foolish she said sometimes she thought her sister in law went a good deal too far and was decidedly wanting in delicate consideration for other people s individuality elizabeth had none of her companion s easy her pride and her natural sensibility shrank a sketch in and white equally from such personal the idea of mr or any other unknown young man venturing to give an opinion about her one way or the other seemed an intolerable impertinence to her elizabeth was in a self conscious and sensitive state of mind owing partly to her loneliness and to the lingering influence of the uncomfortable circumstances under which she had left it seemed hard too that while one set of relations accused her of being and indifferent the other set should represent her as a sort of hamlet in who might be expected to indulge in all manner of strange mrs frank went on calmly her gloves there was a good deal of intention in her talk as a rule though she often seemed to speak at random she generally contrived to say just what she wanted to say and there always was something that she did want to say when the last two buttons had been successfully fastened she turned a perfectly amiable and innocent face upon elizabeth and said well then you come to us to morrow that s delightful good by my dear it is most pleasant to have you here and your house is hopelessly quite hopelessly lovely your taste is admirable elizabeth good by again and she off down stairs seeming to take rather a large share of the general stock of vitality away with her leaving elizabeth a trifle worried and exhausted with an unpleasant sense too that she was only on the edge of things while was in the very of them chapter all spirits permitting one another the liberty of without any breach of friendship there is no position in the world so entirely pleasant so free from care and anxiety as that of a young man of about five and twenty with some means some talents and no wife and family who lives in rooms his artistic sympathies and himself exclusively to himself and to the friends whom he delights to honor the position is absolutely ideal in its freedom and serenity no more serious misfortune ever seems to befall	32
the lucky creature than a cold in the head a romantic quarrel with a dear friend or a temporary of like the lilies of the field ho is innocent of toiling and spinning and yet is clothed in a manner not unworthy of a well bred modem solomon he freely of the cream of life he is he is welcome everywhere he is exquisitely and in an entire absence of duty and responsibility what wonder if we who arc older less whose clothes are selected for their lasting rather than their fashionable qualities who are not unconscious of the collar as we laboriously drag our well filled family coach after us who have in fact finished up all our a sketch in and white small portion of cream long ago and confined to a pretty constant diet of the milk of life what wonder if we i say contemplate these young of circumstance with considerable feelings of envy domestic joys the of home yes we are quite conscious of the magnitude of these blessings but i grieve to say there are moments when we would exchange them willingly almost with alacrity for that slim figure bunch of well cut coat air of gentle resignation and from near relations i toward whom elizabeth had conceived somewhat of a dislike owing to the rather forcible manner in which her in aw had pressed him upon her notice belonged to the happy order of beings that we have tried to sketch above he was a very pleasant young gentleman with a remarkable capacity for enjoying everything himself included he was a charming companion and though not or zealous in the service of his fellow creatures he had the delightful faculty too often wanting in greater souls in saints and and and all those other admirable people whom we admire immensely at a distance and with sincere veneration when they are safely of never being in the way he was never urgent and never attempted to on his neighbor s individuality he had constructed a pretty little system of philosophy of his own and instead like most philosophers of spending all his time in sea and land to make a few unwilling he was satisfied with applying his system practically to his own life he was so entirely convinced of the virtues and mrs of that ho was quite content to it to not that ho required the support of on part of others to confirm his own faith in it and give his system waa by way of being an artist ho had but his powers of application were not very highly developed ho really preferred contemplating his fellow creatures from a of calm to any more practical occupation and only worked earnestly when some particularly attractive subject presented itself to him or when the state of his warned him that times of were not far oil a natural inclination to like most people he had many comrades in many different of society he had a strong belief that it was a little stupid to rest content with any one side of society or cultivated ho did not imagine that any one person or set of persons could satisfy the whole of his nature so he selected many different friends each of whom satisfied some one portion of it believing that it is the highest wisdom to live in as many lives as possible at the same time the very power of imagination m hi to rest on such a wide social um to him there a or obstinacy call it you will about him often caused him to sacrifice obvious advantage to one of these fits of v and dislike frank who out of for the necessities of a wife and children had come to tt u r all personal feeling with a touch of worldly of ton took his friend to task on this point a sketch in black and white my dear fellow he say what on earth can it matter whether you like so and so or not he is ready to give you fifteen or twenty guineas for a drawing of his wife you want the money she is a very pretty woman and then they know everybody and after all the poor man has really never done you any harm it s no good would reply hopelessly he me the wrong way and no number of guineas is worth the annoyance of having to know a person i don t like in fact s was not quite universal yet the was that he was regarded by some people as rather an uncertain and fantastic young man sadly wanting in that delicate perception of what might tend to his own social advancement which is in itself so admirable and so invariably commands the sincere respect of others i suppose everybody s sense of humor is more or less s sense of humor was certainly where those whom he disliked were concerned otherwise as he stood and contemplated things around him he was sensible of an immense amount of amusement from the show nothing matters very much after all from a secure position people have managed to watch the progress of the battles with considerable composure sometimes for a moment s cheerful indifference him and the tragedy of life lay bare before him and appalling his spirit but as a rule he watched the strife serenely enough from his own safe and comfortable station regarding even the painful incidents as so much excellent dramatic material he mrs was oo busy noting every detail and each delicate effect of light and shadow to be distressed by the scene however pathetic a very lively interest often presents the same appearance to as positive hardness of heart s heart was by no means hard but he was too much engaged in vivid mental impressions to have time	32
resting against the dusky red covering of the back of the as frank sat down she turned her face toward him without otherwise shifting her easy graceful position and gave him a quiet smile of welcome the evening had gone so brightly and pleasantly thus far that frank had pretty well forgotten the feeling which had prompted him to beg his wife to let some be present on tliis as elizabeth smiled st bim ber ul beauty and the fact of ber frank as strangely at he remembered ber sweet face witb long and strange witb tbe dread of death and separation during tbe days of weary waiting that be bad spent with her only nine months ago be lowered bis and fell into a somewhat sentimental key thereby exactly tbe results that be bad taken such pains to provide against the day before i am so glad you come to london elizabeth be said gently i can t help feeling that we more right to you than anybody else in virtue of for robert s sake you know lie paused a moment and then added it would have pained me very much if liad loosened the tie between us elizabeth smiled rather faintly she too remembered those sad days and nights nine months ago and struggled against the remembrance he did not answer there was a pause i don t care about artistic dressing and i never shall was saying meanwhile to of course it wouldn t do for me in the least and that no doubt does influence me a little but candidly i think people who go in for it generally look fearfully except on great occasions when they are got up and then there is a certain dressing gown and slippers effect about it all you know which doesn t in the least please me i really believe people take to it just as much from as from a love of art f buttons and strings you know then it makes them conceited they are always a sketch in and white possessed by a charming sense that they are the elect and feel wonderfully superior to us who still believe in paris and high shoes the elect haye always been rather a nuisance i fancy as elizabeth did not respond to his first little speech frank felt obliged to say something more isn t the time for talking about it all he said leaning toward her some things are very sacred to one and one fears to them by speaking of them at the wrong moment yes yes said elizabeth quickly frank spoke low and earnestly not only his words but the tones of his voice and his whole appearance reminded elizabeth vividly of her husband the two brothers had not really been very much alike frank being considerably the fairer and more robust looking of the two but seeing him now after a long interval elizabeth was conscious of a resemblance between him and robert so strong and that for a few minutes she was almost overcome by it she had tried very hard during the last few weeks to forget the sad past and start afresh now as her brother in law toward her and looked at her the past laid cold strong hands on her again for a moment she seemed once more to see the man who as a very true and perfect knight had loved and honored her who had wholly and faithfully given her his heart to whom in life and death she knew she had stood before all other women for a moment she had a sense of loss and sorrow and had some other subject on which to express opposite opinions nothing could be more than the mrs bright room their light war of words and elizabeth s bitter feelings she dared not give way to her sudden anguish she straightened herself up and pressed her hands hard together not daring to look round at frank who was waiting for some answer he perceiving that she was agitated but quite unconscious of the extent to which he was himself the cause of that agitation spoke again after a few minutes silence wishing to soothe her i was a little afraid he said his native honesty coming to the surface that you might have thought me forgetful or to night i can t talk much about the things i feel most deeply and it s no use after all talking about them one must go on not go back you know only i should be truly sorry to have you think me indifferent i m not that elizabeth we each other don t we elizabeth bent her head in assent yet she feared they did not understand each other poor child with her will and desires dragging her one way and her nature and instincts dragging her another she had much to understand herself sometimes frank got up and gave himself a little stretch he had said his say now he wanted a tone of general cheerfulness to be restored as soon as possible he crossed to where was standing and laying his hand on his shoulder said do go and play or sing to ns you and have quite enough for one evening what shall i play asked oh i anything you like my dear fellow replied the other and went back to his seat by elizabeth it was that all s lightness a in and white of manner left him as boon as he sat down at the piano his face hardened and sharpened and his whole figure seemed and as soon as his hands touched the keys he looked several years older more positive and more serious the change in him was subtle but it was quite distinct and suggested possibilities of a depth of purpose and of feeling for which one did not give him credit at first sight this change in	32
was always a pleasure and interest to frank he watched for it quite eagerly and half his enjoyment in his friend s playing consisted in the singular effect it produced on the himself there was a fine suggestion of power in the way in which took possession of the instrument and forced it to yield up to him all the secrets of its inmost being all the joy and sorrow the beauty passing human speech and the wild passion we dare not utter even if we could which lie hid within it and will only answer forth to the compelling hand of the master played a good deal of modem music full of and pathetic and harmonious as elizabeth listened to the music it seemed to speak out for her the sorrow and confusion the doubt and hope and fear that struggled in her mind there was a certain relief in this yet she felt it was moving at length stopped as if to recover himself frank who had been leaning back lazily on the his legs crossed his hands in his pockets and his eyes fixed on the toe of his right shoe looked up quickly as though to demand more mrs frank gave a little rustle of relief she mrs found much of this sort of thing slightly elizabeth was silent after a minute s pause began singing his voice was not remarkable but his singing was excellent the good and the sentiment perfectly refined he evidently knew so exactly what he was about that one always had a pleasant sense of security and repose in listening to him the song was slight enough of the order of sentiment that happy young people are given to enjoying because they have very little notion what it really and that older and more experienced people are somewhat disposed to fight shy of the words ran thus my love lies low beneath the grass the sad sea to earth and sky the sweetest joys the pass good by dear heart good by gentle eyes are closed in death the wind blows low the wind blows high oar mortal life is but a breath good by dear heart good by her lovely lips are pale and cold when brown leaves fall bare branches sigh a merry tale too soon is told good by dear heart good by vain is all glory all delight since man is only born to die glad day lies slain by envious night good by dear heart good by a sketch m black and white sang with an air of strong himself to the of the words till an atmosphere of hopeless melancholy seemed to the cheerful room frank conscious that his wife looking extremely well and material was sitting opposite to him that his two babies were sleeping peacefully in their little white up stairs and that he personally was about as far away from everlasting falling leaves moaning seas and au the rest of it as any man could reasonably expect to be sat his fair beard with one hand and quietly enjoying this little excursion into the kingdom of misery but poor elizabeth being already in a rather state of mind found the song altogether too sad and too when the last wailing good by had died into silence she was very nearly crying got up from the piano that is dismal isn t it he said smiling and into his ordinary easy manner i can t bear encouraging songs they are horribly and nice heroic drum and trumpet songs don t suit my voice so he added still smiling and turning d elizabeth i take remarkable delight in these lamentable was sorry he had spoken so lightly when he looked at her from the purely artistic point of view it was delightful to contemplate elizabeth her long clinging black dress her pale pathetic face the soft masses of her brown hair her gray eyes looking out into space her lips tremulous with emotion with the dusky red background of the altogether she made a charming picture a sort of century edition of car lady of sorrow was a little provoked with himself for he saw that his words upon her and destroyed the effect of his song elizabeth did not answer him she tamed away quickly to frank and said in a rather unsteady i think m go home frank would you mind just walking back with me as it s so close by but my dearest elizabeth cried mrs frank breaking in with her usual emphasis and it s so early do remember that you are no longer among the who no doubt regard ten o clock as a sacred hour devoted alike by men and gods to saying good night and going to bed remember that you have returned to civilized life and that we are enlightened creatures entirely indifferent to times and seasons and new and stay a little longer elizabeth we sha n t retire to our rest for hours yet but elizabeth felt that things had gone too far she was sensible that was watching her and she knew that she could not recover complete serenity and composure she wanted to be alone and quiet i think i ll go frank please she said again if you don t mind there was a look of almost piteous entreaty on her face which reminded him strangely of the night they had parted in the hall at all right he said you re tired and we ll go it isn t worth while to call a cab well if you must go elizabeth good night said mrs frank shall i see you to morrow will you a in and white be at home in the afternoon oh well never mind now you do look fearfully tired all of a i can send nurse and the children round	32
in the morning to find out your plans to elizabeth said no word good or bad they shook hands in silence she had an uncomfortable sense that his views regarding her were developing and she felt somewhat toward him can never be very pleasant to the victim however great be the scientific truths that it may eventually chapter motives imply and the existence of evil and temptation tlie nature would act from impulse alone elizabeth and frank had gone mr was guilty of a distinct impertinence ho stood for f ally five minutes looking into the fire without speaking a word to his charming hostess he had enjoyed himself that is to say for some hours he had felt decidedly interested he admired elizabeth s strong clear type of beauty and her stately bearing there was no tiresome pink and white about her he saw that she was one of those women in whom the mind and body are so intimately connected and so dependent on one another that ex and manner will instantly the real feeling within even while the words spoken are quiet and restrained but had to own that he had made a slight mistake and that the end of the evening had not been wholly ul he had a foolish feeling of satisfaction though in the fact that elizabeth was walking home our lady of sorrow going off in a four wheeled cab or even in a would really have been a little too trying and he could picture her tall black clad figure and pale a sketch in and face as she moved through the dusky streets coming for a moment into the glare of a gas lamp and then passing on into the semi darkness again frank was the dearest fellow in the world of course but he did seem rather to mar the picture somehow frank was too comfortable in any way to suggest romantic possibilities feared that he was probably grumbling a little inwardly at having to turn out into the damp at that time of night instead of dwelling on the poetic of the situation was also meditating upon elizabeth as she sat in a low chair with a piece of softly tinted work in her hands her imagination was not widely sympathetic but her were generally pretty shrewd she had to confess that she did not really understand her sister in law she had often as to the exact amount and as to the quality of the affection with which elizabeth regarded robert she was disposed to think though she had never such a thing to frank that for some reason elizabeth s love had never been entirely whole hearted had there been another lover in the background or were the of elizabeth s nature only partially developed she could not tell it occurred to her that some day there might be a little it also occurred to her that it would be very exciting to assist in bringing that about just at this point of her meditations looked up at he certainly irritated her sometimes he seemed so removed from the ordinary cares and of his fellow creatures his calm attitude of mind seemed to give him a pull over her which she resented she would have enjoyed seeing him rather distracted about something or other it is always refreshing to see composed people in a fuss or at a slight disadvantage had a influence upon her too which she felt to be he often intimated gracefully that she was talking in an exaggerated way she had a disagreeable that he took mental notes of everything she said and her doubts as to the tenor of those notes lent a certain to her tone when she was with him which was not natural to her at other times as she expressed it he made her feel and she was constantly disposed to up and defend herself from imaginary attacks on his part your sister in law is remarkably charming said at last she gives one the impression that there is a great deal to know in her elizabeth is not very easy to know observed mrs frank putting up her eyebrows and indulging in a rather provoking little smile so i imagine said and half her charm consists in that most people present a flat surface to you you can look right across them to the horizon at once you know just all about them after meeting them once or twice you know what views they are bound to take on every given subject just as well as you know the color of their hair or eyes but mrs makes me think of an country full of suggestions and great surprises i only saw the coast line from the sea this evening but i am sure there are the most delightful lakes and rivers and hills and valleys inland smiled to himself a in black and white i find it very he said mrs frank felt annoyed this was she thought rather too calm and cool a manner of observing any woman standing there and smiling complacently into the fire seemed to her a little wanting in solid comfortable humanity she resented his disposition to regard his acquaintances merely as so many interesting studies at this moment he was so occupied with his own thoughts so indifferent a fact she noted as hardly civil to her presence that mrs frank indulged herself with a good long stare at him she did not wish to think anything complimentary about him she felt slightly angry with him yet she could not deny that anyway he was very good looking he belonged to a type common enough in northern italy but not often met with among englishmen and when with always some strain of foreign blood in the lie was dark with eyes of the peculiarly dear warm brown that an american writer has described as wine colored his forehead	32
is rather an extraordinary form of answer to an invitation isn t it she observed mildly oil yery well then i elizabeth bay i shall be quite delighted to it s not such a true answer as the other though but on the whole it s rather more civil said mrs frank is this for my very own interrupted in her shrill clear little voice yes replied elizabeth but you must come and pay me for it with a sweet kiss she knelt down on the floor as she spoke who regarded kisses as a necessary but as by no means the part of the of receiving gifts ran up administered a hasty salute then herself rapidly from elizabeth s arms turned to her mother look look mother she said at my s pink hat you re a hard hearted little being after all said elizabeth getting up from her knees i believe you care infinitely more for that foolish made of china and than you do for me i suppose we were all more or less selfish as children observed mrs frank a good many of us remain so when we have ceased to be children answered elizabeth rather harshly there was a hard line between her dark eyebrows and she stuck out her under lip just the least bit as she stood looking at the child and the doll if had known mr she would certainly have remarked a very strong family likeness between him and his niece at this moment selfishness is not a form of we invariably a in and white leave behind us in the with our old when we grow up added elizabeth is anything particular the matter with you this morning asked mrs frank nothing at all i have said i am delighted to accept mr s invitation for the day after to morrow pray tell him so mrs frank gave her shoulders a little shrug you re very inscrutable she said however you will come then if it s fine we can walk down to by the i ll call for you about three come along and say good by to kind aunt who gives you and all manner of lovely things good by i said elizabeth gently but she did not kiss the child again it must be allowed seemed indifferent to the and walked off with considerable dignity by her mother s side cheerfully to her new doll the afternoon of s little tea party was clear and bright and the two ladies set out with a certain sense of enjoyment on their walk to elizabeth with her country breeding had been accustomed to take plenty of physical exercise lately she had been leading rather a and lazy life which had by no means improved either her health or spirits as she paced along by the river side this afternoon the keen wind and the thin frosty sunshine seemed to put new vigor into her she thought of the short winter days down in mid years ago not so very many years though after all the ground being too hard for hunting she and mr and young edward mrs had driven oyer to and till dusk of the wild cries of the frozen out water fowl and the clear ringing of the on the ice and the graceful motion of the and the sound of a sudden laugh or call in the still air while the sun a crimson ball sank down in the west and the gray country faded into the twilight and the near trees grew black and rigid against the flaming evening sky ah those sweet sad days that are no more poor elizabeth would gladly for the moment at least have missed out all of her life that lay between the present and that pleasant time would gladly have found herself over the gleaming ice hand in hand with her boy lover once again for pity s sake elizabeth don t walk so fast cried for instinctively elizabeth had quickened her pace as she thought of and the like all city bred women walked not so much with the intention of getting to a certain place within a certain time as with the intention of seeing and being seen there is no such desperate necessity for saving five minutes she said and of all things in the world that which i most is arriving at anybody s house in a breathless condition with a face like a you ll be frozen if you said elizabeth sharply yes but surely there is some reasonable medium between doing that and walking for a answered the other elizabeth her pace she was quite roused from her reverie there was nothing dreamy or sentimental about and she had a a in black and white power of compelling her companions to move in her own dear every atmosphere s rooms were on the first floor of an old fashioned house looking oat on to the river he had them when he first settled in london and had now thoroughly taken root in them he liked io wander about but he also liked to collect all manner of odds and ends of all kinds and already his material possessions were so numerous that it was absolutely necessary for him to have some place to leave them in as far as he had a home this house in was his home he went away for months at a time but always as a peaceful and comfortable background to his wanderings lay the long low old fashioned first floor rooms with their view across the wide river before ringing the bell when they arrived mrs frank paused and then turning to elizabeth said will you go in fu join you in ton minutes i ve just remembered some tiresome people that i ought to call upon close by here owed them a visit for months and	32
this is such an excellent opportunity of paying it i sha n t be long i ll come too said elizabeth who did not care to present herself to their host alone oh no pray don t answered quickly and with rather unnecessary emphasis they re fearfully dull people you wouldn t like them a bit and there is no reason why you should know them pray don t come i shall be back directly to the matter she rang the bell nodding to elizabeth and saying au she turned quickly into the street again so elizabeth had nothing for it mrs but to go np alone feeling a good deal annoyed it would bo odd she thought she did not the least to be forced in this way into a d t with mr the room she was ushered into was a large one with three windows looking toward the river it was low and was furnished enough yet with a certain disregard for modem of taste but for a soft dusky richness in the general effect of it it might have been called rather confused and seemed to have taken pleasure in collecting the most strangely miscellaneous objects and compelling them to form an harmonious whole some of his friends hinted indeed that his rooms looked very much as if they belonged to the property man but he sternly refused to any peculiarities i live in my rooms not you he would say i enjoy and it is like life elizabeth on this occasion was too anxious to account for the fact of her appearing all alone to bestow much observation on her surroundings but before she had time to offer any explanation came forward to meet her with a look of genuine pleasure how very good of you to come i he said cordially there was something so sincere in the sound of his greeting that elizabeth s sense of embarrassment quickly melted before it my sister in law will be here in a minute or two she said she deserted me on your door step remembering suddenly that she had a visit to pay close by she begged me to tell you that she would follow mo directly smiled he felt a little indifferent as to a sketch ik black and white the length of mrs frank a absence elizabeth looked very young and attractive after her quick walk in the frosty air there was an unusual color in her cheeks and her gray eyes shone bright and dark under their long lashes ah i said it is a long way for mrs frank to come i am only too glad that she should make the expedition useful to herself as well as pleasant to me there was a moment s pause elizabeth did not quite know what to say next as her companion s last observation called for no you have been doing a sketch for frank she observed at last a little awkwardly may i see it oh i it s rather horrible now that it s finished mrs he answered i thought it was going to be nice at first however there it is on the in the window if you really care to see it elizabeth moved across the room and stood looking at the picture it was a graceful misty drawing of little worked in had begun it one evening at the frank when the child tired with a game of play had lain half asleep on her mother s knee the subject caught his fancy and he had spent some time in working it out but it s lovely said elizabeth i m so glad you like it the young man answered he was standing near her and watching her intently as she bent forward to look closely at the drawing you draw as well as you play she said suddenly turning round to him you are very fortunate she spoke seriously not as his talents but mrs rather he thought as bidding him give thanks for the possession of them am i very fortunate he said smiling again i am not quite sure i think so answered elizabeth you artists have troubles like the rest of us some i suppose that we more commonplace people can not fully comprehend but you have the intense joy and relief of utterance ah she said i for one keep all my pity for the poor dumb souls who can only feel and can not speak elizabeth remembered the thoughts which had so moved her as she walked along by the river she would have given a good deal to possess the power of speaking out the emotions they had caused her in some artistic form the disappointment is generally more present to my mind than the relief i m afraid said all one s work falls so short of what one wants to do still you have something to do something to work for she answered you have the satisfaction of knowing what you want even if you can t always it so many of us waste our lives utterly because we never know exactly what to aim at oh i said shaking his head people are all so much too fond of doing nowadays why can t they leave the doing alone and just be isn t that enough they hurry and worry and scramble and quite forget what a much more dignified and graceful spectacle they would present to the universe if they were a trifle less busy and anxious elizabeth sat down thoughtfully on a chair in front of the she paused a moment before speaking a sketch in black and white but one mast have a distinct object in life she said must one asked i have never been quite able to see the necessity for it elizabeth looked up at him isn t it enough he said to enjoy one s self	32
to be pleasant and to please one s friends f perhaps if you have friends she observed why you must have plenty of friends anyway mrs said he brightly if you mean just the people whom i know yes i have plenty answered elizabeth she was too much absorbed in her own train of thought to observe that the conversation had assumed a new complexion and had drifted away from the general into the personal but she added i am afraid like most women i know very little about real friendship about the sort of friendship which really makes part of one s life i should like to have friends as men have them but i don t know how to begin elizabeth spoke quite simply thinking merely of her own feelings and not at all of her companion a very bright light came into s brown eyes and he bent forward toward her as he answered i fancy i know a good deal about what men call the friendship which as you say makes a real part of one s life if you want to know about it i think i could teach you suddenly the of her position struck elizabeth she had with the narrow down at surely mrs was getting far away from now i she tamed her head and gazed out across the river so swiftly and silently in the gathering darkness down to the sea the sky was very pale and clear above along the the long lines of gas lamps it looked cold and hard and somehow out there in the dusk then she turned again and glanced round the warm luxurious room with its fanciful furniture and rich mellow finally she looked up at the dark handsome face of the young man who stood waiting before her she gave a long shuddering sigh as of one waking from a troubled dream and then said gently i think i should bo very glad if you would teach me was an expression almost of triumph about that is kind of you he said simply then he added holding out his hand it is a compact mrs you must give me your hand on it elizabeth laid her hand in his for a moment rather unwillingly she wondered what she might be binding herself to did it really mean anything or was it merely a pretty bit of child s play mrs frank returning from her visit and coming into the room just at the conclusion of this little ceremony was conscious of receiving a certain very vivid impression she paused only for an instant of time in the doorway before turning round came forward to welcome her but in that instant her innocent blue eyes had pretty thoroughly taken in the situation elizabeth was sitting in front of the sideways on a shaped chair with her hands a in lightly clasped together on the back of it she had her thick far trimmed mantle at the neck and it hung in heavy folds from her showing part of the body of her black dress and the white about her throat the hair on her forehead had been ruffled by the wind during her walk and curled up about the edge of her bonnet softening the hard line of it she was looking up with her lips parted as though about to speak the light from some candles in brass near the fireplace fell full upon her face s back was toward mrs frank she could not see how he was looking but his attitude seemed expressive she thought of more than mere polite of his fair companion oh said as her host came toward her my dear mr i owe you ten thousand apologies i had wanted to pay that visit for such i was sure you would forgive my being a little late and then to my utter distraction the wretched people were at and can you tell why it is she added that the less power people have of entertaining you the longer they are determined that you shall stay with them thanks i yes i will sit down how good of you to wait tea for me i i have known thoroughly uninteresting people who insisted upon asking one to dinner at half past six and requiring one to stay till heaven knows what time of night simply apparently because they had nothing on earth to say to one whereas delightful people whom you feel you would be happy to spend years with ask yon at a quarter past eight and turn you out again at eleven now why is it i think the over before i to give an answer smiling yon at all events mrs may claim to belong to the delightful section of society since you are so late in arriving here to day laughed she felt in the most amiable humor while made tea she wandered about the room chattering all the time she the sketch of with which she declared herself absolutely enchanted and praised everything liberally the tea included how i wish you would do us a picture of elizabeth i she said at last somebody really ought to do a picture of her she looked like the most delightful when she was nursing the other day the advantage of having a reputation for talking very much is that it gives you admirable opportunities of saying a host of things you want to say without giving them an appearance of undue mrs frank always managed to serve her own little purposes but she her important sentences so cleverly in the general flow of her conversation that they seemed at the time in no way particularly remarkable it was only when elizabeth shook hands with him just as she was going away that referred to mrs frank s suggestion will you let me make a drawing of you he	32
aunt at least regarded as so distinctly limited mr had paid her one or two visits in london which were chiefly remarkable for their extreme the it must be confessed did not find himself in very active sympathy with his niece s present surroundings face downward in the narrow writing table drawer still lay the sketch of elizabeth had never moved it from its resting place since the day when she had decided to forget the past and to try and find fresh joy and hope in the future in some it is possible to patch a rent for a time but eventually the stuff gives and gives and as we a ik and know the now makes the hole in the old garment worse in the end elizabeth s determination not to grieve for her s death had in a way kept her attention fixed on the fact of his death she had to patch the rent that had been made in her happiness but as time went on the threads began to strain and give ont and the sense of the magnitude of her grew greater instead of at moments hj the sea shore or on summer evenings when poured out his whole soul in music and in song or as she watched frank and playing with their two children the sense of her own loss and loneliness would almost elizabeth she dreaded these feelings of sorrow she fought against them and was glad when the trivial interests of every day claimed her whole thought and attention to her companions she seemed to be drifting further and further away from the past she appeared gay and cheerful and yet there was an and a certain necessity for excitement about her which puzzled a little sometimes she wondered whether elizabeth was not developing feelings which could not strictly be described as for but i think elizabeth may be quite from any charge of this kind she was almost painfully conscious that if it were possible for her to meet robert now for the first time she might love him in a very different fashion to that in which she had loved him when they met nearly three years before as her experience of life and her knowledge of men and women increased she appreciated more and more the true worth of her husband s character she real too how he must suffered in bidding good by to life and love in the very prime of his manhood elizabeth became aware that it might not be impossible f pr her to worship all too late the memory of the man whom she had loved very while he lived that fashion of the and in a fit of bitter remorse building them magnificent did not die out with the old but is pretty freely by husbands and wives parents and children relations and friends even to the present day if had been asked to give a on friendship about this period he would have pronounced it a very interesting but slightly form of entertainment he had seen a great deal of elizabeth he knew her remarkably well yet carrying out his old of the country he told himself that though the hills and valleys and lakes and streams were very delightful there was still an unknown region far inland into which he had never yet succeeded in penetrating he was haunted by the same notion as namely that some day elizabeth would develop suddenly in an for direction and surprise him very greatly there was something rather fascinating in this idea it made her all the more interesting to him yet it troubled him too hated surprises he had tried to imagine all sorts of of circumstances which might produce this sudden development in elizabeth so that he might be prepared for it when it came but he could not see his way at all clearly yet he told himself however that women certainly were very interesting and he beg n to neglect his other friends a a sketch ik black and white men are comparatively easy to understand tbey are nice comfortable creatures bat make by no means sack suggestive and exciting companions as a handsome brilliant gray eyed young lady at the beginning of the winter season that burning and shining light of the dramatic profession came out in a new piece his friends made a strong rally round him filled innumerable and applauded even his faintest efforts with a vigor and enthusiasm which it is to be feared were slightly incomprehensible to the rest of the house be that as it may on the following day a sunday mr being anxious to thank his loyal and talk over the position with them generally held a sort of in his rooms in the afternoon at which the members of the modem society of friends as mrs frank called them in great numbers frank of course was there as the sub editor and dramatic critic of a well known paper ho was naturally very precious in the young actor s sight went too not so much because he desired particularly to add his voice to the chorus of praise as because he had nothing particular to do and thought he should enjoy a walk across the park with frank he was rather silent and he had been working away at friendship for a long time now and he found it more and bewildering than ever he began to think a man wanted a very steady head who meant to go in for much of that sort of thing it was not till he and frank were walking home under the bare black trees in the growing darkness while the air was full of the sound of church bells that strange sound in sorrow so hard on the heels of joy calling faithful souls to their evening prayers	32
that seemed with a certain effort to shake off his and that he began to talk again i m rather dissatisfied with myself frank he remarked suddenly it is a new sensation i suppose it s a sign that i am growing old frank was running over some sentences in his mind in which he was trying to the rival claims of friendship and truth in a on s performance of the night before he answered at random not thinking what he was saying oh you add dissatisfaction to all the other of old age then do you i don t add it answered quickly heaven preserve me from adding one straw to a burden which i shall have to bear myself some day i it will be quite heavy enough anyway without my private but it is obvious he added that old people must be dissatisfied with themselves if they have any powers of reflection left they must be pretty keenly sensible of the immense number of mistakes they have succeeded in making in the course of their lives frank drew his hand down over his fair pointed beard really he could not honestly praise s performance very much fortunately there was the acknowledged excellence of the young man s figure to fall back upon but it is rather difficult to fill half a column with a on a man s figure the public might object to it and not without reason frank felt meanwhile common civility demanded that he should make some comment on a sketch in and white ton s the distressing position of aged and souls are you painfully sensible of mistakes then just now he asked i believe i am rather worried answered the other this was such an entirely surprising announcement as coming from of all people in the world that frank was roused effectually from his meditations upon mr he looked round sharply at his companion but in the dusk it was difficult to catch the expression of his face you re a little out of sorts my dear fellow said frank you have taken to never going out anywhere half the men at s this afternoon were complaining that they never see you now it s a horrible thing said half laughing and half in earnest i am getting a little bored i am beginning to feel oh you are only answered the other you want more society perhaps i do said uneasily i seem to be changing somehow i don t know quite what is coming over me i used to look on at life so content i used to feel i suppose all the talk at s this afternoon has put the idea into my head as if i had got a very good private box at the general show i just sat still and watched the play i wasn t indeed sometimes i was to quite vigorously and the tragic scenes upset me dreadfully but i had a comfortable feeling that as i had not written the piece i was in no way in the course of it now i begin to wonder whether i have not been rather cold blooded and mr whether i have not made a mistake in not being more marry observed smiling it is the best for your state of mind a wife is pretty sure to make you sufficiently human stopped and said almost why do you say that it is tiresome it is dreadfully wanting in originality frank was silent he did not understand his friend s sudden outburst of he had spoken quite innocently and without any real desire that his advice should be taken if he had been asked indeed frank would certainly have given it as his opinion that would probably never marry that it would be a pity if he should do so as it would rob him of half his present charm they walked on in silence for a little while under the bare trees if people were cross frank thought it was always safest to let them alone bad temper is like a cold in the head it is much best to let it have its course instead of rushing in with and and other well which generally end by merely adding one or two new to the original one frank did not himself but into a difficult piece of criticism again and i m not at all sure that i am so very anxious to be cured of my present state of mind after all said after a pause anyway i am not the least inclined to take the desperate measure you propose the cure would be considerably more than the disease it seems to me i am only angry with myself for feeling these things at all a in black and white frank bad just got bold of an admirable sentence don t feel my dear fellow be said couldn t give up my attitude of spectator you know went on he seemed to very more importance to frank s random suggestion it at all deserved women are so differently constituted to us tbat it is a to one if i find any woman a really one you know would be willing just to sit still and observe witb me would get excited some day and want to go down on to tbe stage into of it all ho paused and added i am very personally i am not at all impulsive but if went down i am dreadfully afraid i not sufficient of mind to let ber go alone probably not answered frank smiling and tbat would be intolerable said it would upset all my system it would be tbe greatest mistake of all no be added as tbey passed out of tbe comparative quiet of tbe park into tbe noise and movement of marriage is out of tbe question from my point of view chapter all	32
tho world ia old lad and all the trees are and all the is stole lad and all the wheels run down creep home and take your place there the spent and among god grant you find one face there you loved when all was young one dull late winter afternoon mr was riding slowly home toward there had been a frost the night before which had given in tho morning leaving the roads deep in greasy yellow mud long lines of half melted snow lay under tho hedges on the side away from the sun the hedges themselves were a hard black in tho gathering dusk the broad pasture lands looked brown and sad in the uncertain light and the spaces of turf on either side the road were coarse and from the wet which stood in little dirty pools every here and there a bleak wind cried shrill through the bare and the scattered elm trees promising more snow it was a chilly dreary evening on which even a healthy man might well be affected by the outward aspects of nature might be full of gloomy fancies and take views of human nature and of things in general a ik and mr had had a trying day and was a little disposed to think that everything was going to the bad he was chilled and somewhat tired bat wishing to spare his horse he along slowly up the muddy road under the broad sweep of lowering gray sky his head was sunk into the collar of his coat which he had pulled up to keep off some of the cold wind his shoulders were up to his ears he held the bridle with stiff fingers both he and his big chestnut hunter were and with clay mud from head to foot he had ridden a good way to the meet in the morning which had been bright enough with pale winter sunshine had seen friends and had a cheery time till about one o clock then his horse cast a shoe and he had wasted some time seeking a blacksmith to put on another when ho came up with the hounds again they were running and he had about a quarter of an hour s gallop they lost their fox and moved off to draw a distant covert drew it blank and about half past three with a gathering away down in the mr found himself with a good fourteen miles to ride home alone he was disgusted too with several little social incidents in the day s work not even fox hunting seemed to him quite a safe sport for an english gentleman in these times when the sons of who had made all their money in candles or stockings or soap rode better horses than ho could afford to ride and treated him as an equal instead of a superior hardly treated him as an equal indeed but rather as an and behind the world sort of old gentleman who was by no means up to the level of the civilization mrs b of the present day he was specially against a certain young man of boisterous manners and of a somewhat appearance nearly related it was said to some well known london who had lately settled in the neighborhood kept a lot of horses and hunted four or five days a week the young man in question happened to be particularly and interfering by nature but mr when annoyed did not always take the trouble to distinguish carefully between the sins of the individual and those of the class to which he belonged he kindly the race of in general with the of this young man in particular and condemned them all while the worst of it was that mr could not deny that the fellow really rode hard and had plenty of pluck there s nothing left ho grumbled that a gentleman can do without finding himself rubbing shoulders with half the in the country what with a radical parliament and a radical press the poor old country s going to the dogs as fast as it can fortunately my time won t be very long i shall be safe iii the churchyard before the worst of it comes please god but it s a bad very bad it struck mr that his own life looking back on it was very like the history of that day a cheery start in the morning sunshine a capital horse under him hope for the coming hours plenty of friends a splendid burst for a few minutes over the grass when the pace was hot and his blood with healthy excitement then about the dreary in the chill mist drawing and drawing for the fox that could never be found and at last the a sketch in black and white long lonely ride home in the cold and the growing darkness tbe day dying the sport all over only the weariness and want of success left dirty tired old that was what it all came to in the end alas for the pity of it mr stuck out his under lip and set his teeth hard bent his head a little lower to avoid the bitter wind and trotted on slowly and up the muddy road with its wet strip of turf on either hand and bare black hedges the hall at the with a glowing fire of logs upon the hearth waiting with dignified solicitude to attend upon his master and mrs with her cap pretty little face and tender wistful manner coming forward in the ruddy light to welcome her beloved lord all these things were in most agreeable contrast to the sad cold gray night outside i am too dirty to come near you my dear said mr looking kindly at his wife i ll go into the study for ten minutes and get a good warm	32
her often no no not very often i think when she was hero last answered mrs she was trying hard to remember but she was a little confused and agitated first by the vehemence and now by the sadness of her husband s manner she had a good memory for small events but the meetings in question had taken place more than a year before and it was slightly to recall them accurately he called here once i think it was only once when you were away in july and we met him again at the afterward there he talked a good deal to elizabeth oh well said the who found this piece of information decidedly that does not amount to very much you contradicted it all to mrs i suppose yes i spoke very strongly answered mrs but you see for a long while i have not had elizabeth s full confidence the was always disposed to advance pretty rapidly to the of his niece he could hardly mrs believe that she would lend in any way to work oat an evil destiny for if i know anything of elizabeth ho said quickly she would soon let mr know he was making a considerable mistake if he spoke to her on this subject i can not pretend to say what elizabeth might do answered mrs rather stiffly she was now and then somewhat jealous of her husband s confidence in his niece i only know that this report is most to me well said the influenced by three first by the of fighting against his fate however unpleasant that fate might be secondly by the sense that he and his wife were beginning to tread on rather dangerous ground and by a growing desire for bis hot bath well it is a nuisance but i dare say people will forget the whole thing in a few days i dare say mrs made the most of it there i really am so stiff i must go don t vex yourself about it any more i ll think it over and we ll talk about it some other time oh i way he added turning back for a moment just as he was going out of the study door can t we have dinner a quarter of an hour sooner chapter in l opinion dispose do la la justice et le qui est lo du mrs was not naturally of a disposition and when the progress of events was not altogether as rapid as she desired she had a strong inclination to help it forward with a private she thoroughly enjoyed the exercise of personal power which she was sensible of in thus hurrying conclusions and having an ingenious mind she generally found convincing arguments for proving that her interference was both necessary and legitimate it is a great temptation to women of a certain temperament to play freely with the souls of their acquaintances and to try to force the hand of destiny concerning them by carefully the tricks they lose and rather counting up those they take these good ladies contrive generally to create both in their own minds and in the minds of the an impression of continuous and remarkable success in the playing of their rather dangerous game mrs frank had watched the course of elizabeth and s friendship with sincere interest it had supplied a certain element of refined excitement in her daily life which she keenly mrs she had continually been aware of the situation she expected it would develop but though to be growing somewhat and though elizabeth at times was restless and capricious mrs frank had candidly to confess that the situation did not develop she began to get a little impatient it seemed to her they must have drunk the cup of friendship pretty well to the and she was convinced that in the case of a friendship between a man and a woman love is at the bottom of the cup just as surely as truth is at the bottom of the well mrs frank wanted something to happen she really quite yawned for a change of scene no sooner had she fairly acknowledged her own sense of in face of the present state of things than the most excellent reasons for doing her best to alter that state of things began to crowd in upon her for some time past she had been conscious that elizabeth s intimacy with had provoked a good deal of comment people observed rather curiously upon the fact than whenever they called upon elizabeth that young mr was sure to be there one or two people had asked mrs frank point blank whether there was anything in it and when she answered in a vague and airy manner had put up their eyebrows with an appearance of slight surprise one excellent and well old lady who propriety as decidedly as she scandal had intimated so that she considered the connection a peculiar one that mrs frank felt a growing conviction regarding the absolute duty of prompt interference had decided long ago that elizabeth a in black and white must again she had gone f and decided that she must marry she thought they would suit admirably and be very happy together elizabeth s superfluous would be nicely by s philosophic calm while ho would bo stimulated to greater earnestness of purpose by his wife s strong and ardent sympathies it was a charming arrangement undoubtedly and there was just that of malice about the conception of it which made it specially attractive to s mind she could not forgive s apparent indifference to love and marriage his perfect from all those daily cares and which seem to bo the necessary result of the close relationship of two imperfect human creatures she felt it would be wonderfully refreshing to reduce him to the ordinary level to see him chained to the	32
oar like the rest of us to hear him crying out that the shoe pinched now and then to watch mildly about with wings instead of flying hither and thither as fancy fired she was sensible that clearly perceived the and of her own character and though she liked him very well in a way she never could forgive him this of insight it would be extremely to get the better of him for once she was just a little bit afraid of elizabeth if the progress of events was to be hastened and the hand of destiny to be forced felt she dared not attempt to attain her end by means of elizabeth if she was to administer a to the situation it must be administered through yet with all her audacity she did not quite care to undertake the mrs single handed she would like if possible to bo backed by her husband s approval now or perhaps fortunately frank hated he cultivated the very notion so it appeared to his wife that every one really knew his or her own business best he strongly objected to interfering he objected both to the trouble and to the responsibility of interfering but he had a deeper feeling on the subject as well and one which was perhaps hardly capable of he had a certain reverence for the mysterious individuality of each human being which made it seem to him almost to attempt to arrange or the future in any way for them frank was not what is generally understood by the term a religious minded man far from it but ho believed deeply in a kind and yet awful providence which shapes the life of every man and he feared to run counter to the purposes of that tremendous power with any impertinent and short sighted plans and fancies of his own s pretty little head was full of schemes for the of adverse criticism the of and the settling of all difficulties regarding elizabeth by means of this marriage one evening when she and her husband were for a wonder dining alone together that afternoon she had been a good deal disturbed by the questions concerning her sister in law s relations with that had been put to her by different people she had quite persuaded herself that the present state of things could not be permitted to go on she saw clearly that something really must be done at once but she wanted her a tn and white band s sanction for the doing of it and she knew that under the it would be safer to try to obtain his sanction hj a little management than to ask for it openly the parlor maid had just left the room and frank was refreshing himself with a peaceful before going up stairs he and his wife were sitting opposite to each other but there was a large plant in the of the table which acted as a pretty effectual screen between them a delicate mission to perform regarded this as a not wholly unfortunate circumstance i am rather worried about elizabeth frank she began quietly why he inquired i m sure she was looking uncommonly well when i saw her the day before yesterday oh yes i perfectly well in health answered drawing a little pattern slowly on the white table cloth with the blade of her silver knife she s quite well but she is moody and uncertain i m not surprised she added after a moment as frank did not answer looking up with a charming air of which owing to the intervening plant was unfortunately lost upon her husband i don t wonder at it in the least any nice woman would be moody in her position i never supposed she could exist for very long merely on blue china and ideas i wish you d let the children come down to remarked frank rather i don t see them all day because i m out and then in the evening i m always told they re in bed and asleep well if you insist on dining at a quarter to eight frank she answered with some decision you can t expect to have the children at imagine how would look if she sat up till this hour i next to a lot of money a good complexion is the best fortune in the world for a girl s complexion sha n t be spoiled for want of sleep anyway i m determined it s a bore all the same said frank turning his chair sideways so as to lean one elbow on the table and stretching his legs out comfortably before him this change of position on his part prevented the plant acting so effectually as a screen but was not wanting in courage nor was she easily turned from any purpose that she had set her mind on i really almost wish sometimes she said bending her head down while she carefully the pattern on the table cloth i really do quite wish sometimes that elizabeth would marry again frank glanced up quickly with a touch of displeasure on his pleasant good looking face it is hardly two years since robert died he said it would be rather soon don t you think oh i pray don t imagine i like second marriages she said looking up too and speaking rapidly you know perfectly well frank that i think them absolutely only allowed for the hardness of our hearts you know but then elizabeth has got no children you see and no near relations except ourselves and those tiresome narrow minded old she paused a moment and then added with a certain touch of which was very becoming and elizabeth is rather peculiar too she is not quite careful enough she makes people talk about her a in and really yon	32
he sang the words of the last verse out loud with a certain quiet suggestion of regret and sorrow that almost startled mrs frank she had not a very delicate sense of honor but there was a touch of self revelation in s singing which seemed to her clearly not intended for ears it made her uncomfortable she did not like to listen any longer also she began to be afraid that elizabeth might come back a in and and that her opportunity would be lost she managed to got up with a great rustling of skirts half her chair and save it hastily from actually falling with a rapid movement and sharp little exclamation which effectually attracted s attention turned round quickly expecting to see elizabeth and his face did not take an altogether agreeable expression when he perceived who it was that had interrupted him ah my dear mr forgive cried mrs frank coming toward him with an outstretched hand and one of her peculiarly brilliant smiles i am so accustomed to running in and out of this house without any parade of servants announcing me that i came in quietly just now and i m afraid i have taken you by i really could not interrupt you at first you were playing so that tiresome chair nearly fell over ah she added advancing d the piano what lovely flowers i on the top of the piano lay a great bunch of roses and lilies of the valley mrs frank put out her hand picked up the and almost buried her pretty face among the blossoms ah how perfectly delicious they are i she said are they destined for my fortunate sister in law mrs is very fond of white flowers said rather he had an uncomfortable sense of being taken at a disadvantage somehow he had been feeling a little excited and just because he so very seldom felt really excited he had a difficulty in his usual calm manner getting his social on again and meeting mrs frank with weapons as sharp and yet as dainty mrs as ber own in the battle field of ordinary conversation he had an absurd that something unpleasant was impending and that he would not find himself equal to the occasion oh they are perfectly delicious said mrs frank smelling the again have you any idea mr when elizabeth will be in she will be in in time for tea i suppose answered he was rather offended with mrs frank and there was something uncomfortable to his thinking in the way she seemed to take for granted that he about elizabeth s movements that won t be just yet said mrs frank then she added looking up at him with an air of admirable i am very glad we have met here mr for i really wanted to see you very much did not feel inclined to make a pretty speech so he merely bowed his of her complimentary desires a silent bow from a person one knows very well is hardly an encouraging thing but mrs frank was apparently by no means abashed it may sound very strange she continued but i wanted to say something to you about my sister in law it may seem unusual but then you know her ho very well i think you will understand my motives was standing near the piano with his back to the window mrs frank was opposite to him with the light falling full upon her somehow he the expression of her innocent little face and he disliked her taking possession of his offering of white flowers and holding them so in her hand while she talked to him had a fanciful feel a in and white ji ing upon him that she would keep those and that he should give them to elizabeth after all there was a pause began arranging her bonnet strings with one hand this occasioned her to turn her head a little on one side so that she no longer looked her companion full in the face my sister in law s position is a peculiar one she went on after a minute or two she is so young and so unusually handsome and of course people her a good deal and talk about her people will say odious unpleasant things about every one and of course she doesn t escape i really do wish sometimes mr you know that elizabeth would be just a little more careful and had not the smallest desire to discuss elizabeth thus mrs is perfectly capable of taking care of her own reputation i should imagine he said ah i no there you re mistaken answered mrs frank quickly and there was something so entirely straightforward and genuine in her manner as she spoke that felt considerably toward her it is stupid cold hearted worldly minded creatures like me who are perfectly capable of taking care of their own elizabeth really is too simple and honest and noble hearted to think what people will say about her when she does this or that she is too innocent and the consequence is that she lands herself in all manner of she has ideas you know about life and ideas are always fatal the world seems to me added mrs frank giving a final little pat to her bonnet strings and looking straight in front of her the seems to me to be divided into clever people with ideas and stupid people them and the latter have to spend three parts of their time in fishing the former out of their i need not say i belong to the section and she looked up at suddenly i am absolutely on thorns about my sister in law just now really indeed said coldly why mrs i rank stepped aside the shadow of the heavy window curtains she was going to play her highest card and it made her	32
feel a little nervous she was afraid of appearing too much interested or excited she felt sure was watching her carefully she knew that with some men what she was about to say would have exactly the contrary to that which she desired to produce but she trusted to an almost strain of honor which she had observed once or twice in he would rather do anything than lose the least or of his self respect i will tell you why she said smelling the flowers again and i shall have to say something extremely disagreeable i shall offend your taste horribly i really doubt whether you will ever forgive me but i must consider elizabeth you know she paused it really was an odious thing to say she wondered what would do she wondered what frank would think fortunately he would only her version of the story would be very certain not to mention it in point of fact then you come hero too often mr she said there are moments when it is quite impossible to maintain an appearance of calm a sketch in black and white was well master of himself on most occasions but just now he could not manage to conceal his feelings he blushed and that added most materially to his sense of anger and wretchedness mrs frank did not give him time to speak yes she said quickly looking at him with an air of becoming distraction and stretching out her hands flowers and all with a appealing gesture it is a horrible thing to say to you you can never forgive me i have outraged your taste i know and entirely disgusted you but then people will talk and there is nobody to tell you but me speaking is forced upon me i really can not help myself this is extremely painful said i am more than sorry that i should have caused you any annoyance or in any way really it is too unpleasant be added angrily turning away pray pray remember cried mrs frank hastily coming a step nearer to liim and speaking pray that knows nothing of all this is absolutely ignorant of it she positively knows nothing of it stood looking down perhaps he had never felt so thoroughly uncomfortable in all his life before he had been trying delicate and philosophic experiments as he supposed and the world at large was him all the while of an ordinary stupid bit of the position seemed to him vulgar he felt enraged with himself enraged with enraged with the whole universe he had got entangled yes that was what people were saying with mrs he could fancy the way this and that and the other person talked him over and laughed as each added their little of gossip to the heap and he had always kept himself so free of this sort of thing oh it really was too i and earth what a fool he had been and what a commonplace scrape he had got himself into i then elizabeth came in from her walk mrs frank and heard her shut the front door and come lightly and quickly up the stairs they stood together in the shady back drawing room with its soft dusky colors and quaint furniture feeling like two suddenly discovered chapter iv up saw it was a hung in a little i can t get out i t get out said the elizabeth certainly looked very handsome as she came into the room she still wore nothing but black bat within the last few months she had taken to dressing in a rather superb manner this afternoon she had been paying some visits and was arrayed in a gown of some rich material loaded with jet which glanced and glittered as she moved her mantle fitting tightly over the shoulders and showing the lines of the bust matched her gown and was bordered with deep soft black fur had on a little french bonnet tying with broad strings under the chin the extreme of which had thrown into a small ecstasy of envy and admiration the first time she saw it perhaps elizabeth s style of dress was more suitable to a woman of forty than to a girl of barely four and twenty but it had the of making her look younger and not older than her real age mrs frank had a gift for receiving rapid impressions she glanced up at her sister in law as she entered the room and said to herself certainly elizabeth is wonderfully s tip at her too lie was of a feeling of longing and regret lie was not at all under the impression that he was what is called mn lore with elizabeth he was utterly uncertain about the future but he knew that their pleasant friendship was at an end anyway mrs frank had just given it its nothing absolutely nothing could put things back on their old easy footing again had nothing to say he stood silent feeling wretched was the to regain her presence of mind and moved forward to meet her in law with a rather brilliant smile quite unconscious of all the plots against peace took mrs frank s hand and then turning to said cordially how nice of you both to wait for me i what delicious flowers where did you got them oh youve been playing she added turning again to have you brought that thing of s you promised me into the other room and let us some too and then you shall play it to me i really want refreshment i have been paying such a lot of tiresome visits began her mantle as she spoke stood there looking very sweet and gracious in her dress i m afraid i can t stay now said hastily and ho	32
knew it only too well awkwardly without looking at her opened eyes rather wide with surprise and i holding the half fronts of her a h in and white mantle in either hand she was arrested by something unusual in s manner it was so unlike him to refuse to do anything that she asked him to i ought really to haye gone before said he again and then added i should haye gone but that i haye been so with mrs frank s delightful a little this was the form his resentment was going to take then i i am afraid i must go repeated looking at elizabeth almost sadly how yery odd she said with a sudden sense of chill and discomfort you haye waited for me till now and then du i come in yon rush away in this strange fashion elizabeth went on her mantle pray don t let us detain you she added rather stiffly you can t know how sorry i am that i am obliged to go mrs said and rather but he offered no further explanation and elizabeth shook hands with him coldly she was annoyed she could not understand it all had turned away and was with some loose music on the piano she was in a small of seemed to her to be with a wretched want of presence of mind what would be the of it had she after all made a great mistake there was a pause heard shut the door and then as elizabeth flung down her mantle with a rustle of silk and clash of beads she turned round wliat the matter with him said elizabeth hastily she looked and bewildered oh i my dear i he has moods and f ad and fancies like the rest of us answered mrs frank coming forward and her with a of irritation pray don t require reasons from me for the eccentric doings of the young men of our acquaintance for i own myself quite incapable as a rule of discovering any ways of man are utterly incomprehensible in my humble opinion certainly felt better when she had delivered herself of this attack on mankind in general if circumstances will not allow of your actually an individual there is always a distinct degree of comfort to be derived from throwing a few stones at the whole race could have found it in her heart to run rod hot into at this moment but as there are prejudices against such practical expressions of personal feeling in the present day she refreshed herself with a little general abuse of his sex then she looked up quite serenely at elizabeth and said ry tho way i believe ho brought those flowers for you elizabeth i picked them up while we were talking and then either i forgot to give them back to him or he forgot to ask for them anyway here they are elizabeth glanced at the flowers for a moment as mrs frank held them out to her i think you had better keep them she said they to belong to you more than to me and they are really too sweet they make the room quite oppressive no i don t want them she added a in and white was in a very state of mind as he left mrs s house and walked slowly home toward he had a that some of the days of his life were over for over he regretted the past he was uncomfortable in the present and he the future it was a miserable for a young man who had been wont to pride himself on his perfect serenity of mind and on the delightful security of his position to find himself in meditated upon the situation all that evening but look at it which way he might there was a lion in the path on every side ho seemed beset with dangers and difficulties he felt he could not meet elizabeth again until he knew his own mind and had decided on some positive plan of action on the other hand it was almost impossible to remain in london without meeting her and she at least had not done him any wrong how could he neglect and avoid her without giving the slightest reason for his conduct finally ho decided on the safe but course of running away he felt he must have time to think the matter calmly out he entirely refused to be hurried toward any premature conclusion so next morning he to a bachelor friend in who had a delightful house and a delightful habit of letting his guests do very much what they pleased without making any too efforts at entertaining them to this convenient individual saying that he was out of sorts and wanted a rest and receiving a prompt reply from the friend in question to the effect that he would be entirely welcome he set off without further delay he had cherished a sort of hope that once away from london and from the eyes of his friends and he should find his difficulties melt away he had a sort of hope that the windy march weather the great stretches of turf clad down with that delicate strip of silver sea on the southern horizon would act as a moral npon him and fill him with clear and distinct desires and resolutions but he was disappointed nature seemed curiously indifferent to the and of this pleasant young gentleman with his philosophic and imaginative temperament his and and his furnished rooms down in she was altogether too busy with storm and sunshine and the mysterious processes of birth and growth and failure and death and decay to have any spare time to road him private lessons of fortitude or wisdom she is no of persons indeed and seems to care no more tenderly for the needs of the most of her human	32
of the senses st could not escape from this trial in the burning solitude of the egyptian desert nor st francis amid the purity of the nor st in his cave among the cruel rocks and nor could poor mr escape it either though he had a complexion and black beard and though he lived in this enlightened nineteenth century when as we know the sea of faith is no longer at the full and we only listen some sadly and some gladly to its melancholy long withdrawing roar retreating down the vast edges and naked of the world without asserting that mr at this or any other stage of his career deserved the honors of we must allow that having taken no small pains to form himself upon the models he had a perfect right to suffer all the a in black and lions it may be added that the natural man dies very hard in each one of us perhaps fortunately for if it had not always been so if the said natural man had not always been blessed with a considerable amount of vitality there is no saying in how many more wonderful the human race might not have already indulged or how much further away we might not have wandered by this time from our great mother nature and from the simple foundations of our humanity during the year and more that had passed since elizabeth left mr had by no means ceased to think of the stately gray eyed young lady with from many points of a vi nearer connection appeared so desirable mr s mind was of a very order when he had once conceived an idea it was pretty sure eventually to influence his action in some direct and practical way his was not a poetical mind in which a thousand charming and moving possibilities can float and float like soft white clouds in a summer sky producing delicious effects of light and shade but never themselves upon the sleepy land below in the positive and often inconvenient form pf rain among the and of his parish work during the constant struggle to communicate to his somewhat brother clergy a touch of his own enthusiasm mr was often visited by thoughts of elizabeth his state of mind may be regarded from two points of view during this period of this fact he was quite sensible himself and for some cause it troubled him the social and material advantages which a marriage with elizabeth offered him seemed to sink more and more out of sight while the s i attractive power of her beauty and charm of her manner stronger and stronger memory played strange tricks upon mr little delicate flowers began to blossom in the rather neglected and arid region of his heart he knew this and it irritated him should he say that he was being tempted to fall away from the great work that he had proposed to himself was he indeed disposed to desert the cause for love of one oi the fair daughters of men or was he merely turning the more gentle and human side of his character long hidden under hard of and social theory toward the gracious sunlight mr could not tell but he knew that for some strange reason he would feel happier if he could be certain that ho contemplated marriage in cold blood if ho could be sure that he wished to marry for the sake of the cause rather than for the sake of the woman he was a really devout man he believed that all his life was ordered for him he depended very much on the leading of circumstances not perceiving that circumstances in the case of a strong nature have a curious tendency to lead in the direction in which that nature desires to go mr determined to wait to give the matter time he did not say as said later in a somewhat position that something would turn up he held that if it was to be the way would be made clear by a higher power so month after month had passed by till at last quite unexpectedly mr was offered a large parish in the active crowded district which lies in the north of two years before he would have clutched at the a sketch in black and white offer simply it promised to liis sphere of action to put him into a prominent position and give him an opportunity of the working capacity of many of those theories which he so cherished now another thought influenced him he had waited patiently this might be the looked for leading of circumstance he would have more to offer elizabeth her money and position would be more than ever desirable for him and the prospect of wide influence and of self devotion to a great practical good might be somewhat of a bait with which to tempt her alas alas mr s eye was no longer single he clung to the idea of a leading and yet he felt bitter against himself was it possible that like the church of he had left his love when the news of mr s got abroad poor mrs naturally made a last and desperate attempt to secure her eldest daughter s future mr like of old was compelled to leap into the gulf and to find out clearly what his brother clergyman s state of mind and intentions might be unfortunately mr s self sacrifice was not crowned with the same success as that of the ancient roman mr intimated that such few affections as he was unwillingly sensible of possessing were engaged elsewhere and the gulf seemed to deeper and wider than ever between the eldest miss and matrimony led by that instinct which so often the heart of an affectionate mother when one of her children appears to be	32
mrs immediately did her best to discover who was committing the of mr s af f tho memory of former disappointments naturally her and she fixed on elizabeth as the mrs to proclaim if not her woes at least the sins of others which might in some measure be supposed to produce those woes and so the concerning mr and mrs was set afloat which eventually as we have already seen reached and caused a very distinct amount of annoyance to its inmates mr could not actually contradict the nay he was disposed to accept it as a part of the expected he determined that as soon as the necessary regarding tho leaving of his old parish and taking possession of his now one had been accomplished ho would go up to london and see the young lady whose image for the last twelve months had haunted him so constantly but having once given in to the pleasing notion that he was intended eventually to try his fortune with elizabeth mr became anxious to see her as soon as possible it was not without one or two struggles that he decided to his till all business matters should be settled poor mr had been accustomed to obey his own commands for a good number of years but now his inclination seemed sadly disposed to rebel against his wiu he was sensible of the rebellion and it made him stem and imperious toward himself men of his nature seem almost to buy the right of being somewhat harsh to others since they are so to themselves mr did not love his neighbor with altogether but at times ho absolutely hated him a sketch in black and white self which perhaps failing the first was the next best thing he could do it was on a soft dull afternoon toward the end of march that mr found himself at last waiting on mrs s one of those warm days when spring seems to come upon us suddenly days tempting persons of a sanguine disposition to throw aside great coats and believe that winter is altogether past followed too often in our uncertain climate by disappointment for the hopeful in the shape of weeks of black wind london seemed very hot and after the air of mr was less vigorous than usual the warm day made him feel a little limp lie was rather nervous too and was aware that he was not in exactly the right state either of mind or of body for a great undertaking he had not decided how much he meant to say to elizabeth he hoped again that circumstances would point the way for him few men feel at their best with the possibility of a proposal hanging over them and mr felt decidedly uncomfortable at this moment mrs was at home so told him that excellent woman was somewhat moved at his advent it was pleasant to her to see a familiar face from the neighborhood even though the owner of it was not held very dear at itself she conducted mr up stairs with a considerable show of satisfaction and brought him word that mrs was engaged just then but would be with him shortly it must be remembered that mr had been living quietly in a not particularly enlightened part of mrs the country for some years and had by no means kept pace with the times in the matter of house therefore the appearance of mrs s struck him rather forcibly the rich mysterious colors of the car and the strange crowded pattern of the wall paper the shaped f the dusky blue covers of the chairs the profusion of pretty useless unnecessary odds and ends all surprised him a little the room was filled with the delicious sweetness of a couple of flame colored in full blossom standing in large pots in the windows there was a sense to him of of too much meaning in all this subdued color in this multitude of forms and patterns he was strongly aware of the charm of it all but it was bewildering to him in a way he almost from it mr was not quite himself this afternoon he was easily affected the room seemed to him a little dangerous and even more to the moral and mental than the soft spring day outside he hated to be influenced he liked to his surroundings and as he looked round this room with its luxurious and sweetly scented atmosphere he became sensible that there was a risk of his him mr had starved his senses on high moral grounds his senses seemed inclined to take their revenge on him this afternoon the memory of elizabeth s beauty grew stronger and stronger within him he longed more than ever to see her yet he felt angry with himself angry with her of the leading it seemed to him that like of old he was being his strength and his vigor were in danger of being stolen a sketch ik and white hopelessly yet away from him by the fair daughter of the mr s forehead itself up into very hard lines and his tall black figure looked singularly out of place amid the dim richness of elizabeth s drawing room lie stood lost in a rather unpleasant reverie when the soft dragging sound of a woman s dress on the carpet caused him suddenly to look round elizabeth had come in through the other room and was standing with one arm raised pushing aside the e she was dressed in a long gown of black stuff the material was soft and hung in graceful folds as she stretched her hand up to draw back the curtain she wore some handsome old lace at her throat and wrists of that delightfully harmonious shade of color which persons are wont to say is the objectionable result of a want of good	32
honest soap there are people though who in their adoration of cleanliness would wash the bloom off a before eating it i believe elizabeth s brown hair was knotted low down at the back of her head and curled a little about her forehead a certain pretty tenderness to her face her appearance the feelings with which mr was already troubled she was certainly very beautiful he enjoyed and yet almost regretted it all this though long in the telling of it occupied really but a few seconds of time elizabeth greeted her guest very graciously while he on his part presented rather a disturbed and harassed countenance to her gaze i did not know you were in london mr she said smiling as she held out her hand to him i have up on business he answered my stay is not likely to be a protracted one then it is all the more kind of you to take the trouble of coming to see me said elizabeth mr looked at her rather anxiously it struck elizabeth that there was an odd intensity and suggestion of suppressed excitement about his face and manner it was a little uncomfortable but probably it meant nothing she had not seen him for a long time and meanwhile she had been living among people who were quite the reverse of intense mr s visit was a matter of very secondary importance to elizabeth her thoughts were much more occupied with the fact that she had made a disagreeable discovery regarding her banker s book and that nothing had been heard or seen of since the day on which he had so abruptly left her won t you sit down she said settling herself as she spoke in a low chair by the fireplace i would rather stand thank you answered mr with unnecessary precision elizabeth felt a little bit bored she leaned back lazily in her chair resting her elbows on the two arms of it and holding up one hand to shield her face from the warmth of the fire mr could not help observing the fine pose of her figure and the graceful turn of her head as it rested against the dull blue chair cover lie did not want to remark these things but they were too strong for him and he could not help it i suppose everything is going on much as usual at said elizabeth feeling that she must find some subject of conversation a sketch in and white i believe bo answered mr shortly why are you not just come from there she asked mr saw light ho wanted to talk about his and his work ho fancied it would restore his no he said i have left mrs i have a much larger and more interesting parish now i was not sorry to leave i never had enough to do there ah no said elizabeth i remember your telling me that where are you living now i have got a parish in the north of the county he answered a district is deeply interesting i have an extended sphere of work and i trust of usefulness the people i think will be far more intelligent and than in a purely agricultural district personally added mr drawing himself up and looking more composed and consequently more pleasing he had since elizabeth entered the room personally i feel deeply interested in and very hopeful respecting the work before me but i shall want help oh you are sure to find help said elizabeth smiling she rather liked mr when he became enthusiastic you think so ho asked quickly i trust i may mrs for i shall want it it is no mere that i am undertaking but a work to call out and develop all a man s powers and energies that you will like she said i fancy you haven t any gift for being lazy and merely sitting still the parish has been very much neglected mr went on lie wanted to and brace himself with the thought of his work i shall have to the whole of the machinery or rather to create it for at present it can hardly be said to exist at all i must raise money to build a i want to establish a coffee tavern with as little delay as possible for i am afraid the is terrible in the low lying parts of the parish and finally i must try to restore the church and i must have bright hearty services which will be attractive to the people you have plenty of work before you said elizabeth smiling pleasantly i wish you all success in your thank you mrs answered mr then he paused a moment i wish ho looking at her earnestly that i could awaken a strong interest in your mind regarding my parish i am very much interested in all you tell me an elizabeth she felt that she ought to have a great respect for mr and his work he certainly had higher aims and devoted himself much more to the good of his fellow creatures than any one else whom she knew but elizabeth was rather worried and rather dissatisfied she was quite unequal to getting up a sudden enthusiasm for the improvement of mr s parish she felt wearied in face of his vigor and energy she let the hand with which she had been her face from the fire fall languidly down on to the arm of the chair the movement was a slight one but it arrested mr s attention again it struck him how beautiful she was a in and ho felt he was being hurried forward and being compelled to speak more clearly than he had doing i have a very special reason he said a very special reason for desiring to interest you in my future you may not perhaps just now	32
somehow lie despised himself which was far more painful to him than himself there was no one point in the whole of this interview that he could remember with satisfaction lie had deceived himself he had been in the wrong from beginning to end he had betrayed the cause at first and at last he had been almost insolent to this woman in her own house his anger changed to shame the nobler part of his nature asserted itself i beg your pardon he said simply i have made a great mistake a in and and he turned away without another word and left lor mr back to north that a bitterly man lie was disappointed in his and that was bad enough after his long waiting and thinking but worse still he was disappointed in himself for he had been both weak and to what he held to be the highest good fortunately the care of some five or six thousand souls does not leave much time for brooding over any disaster however great mr flung himself into parish work witli almost alarming vigor lie was a stem shepherd and drove rather than led his flock into the ways of and he gained a reputation for determination for for possessing to a remarkable degree the courage of his convictions but though mr changed very little outwardly as time went on ho never quite i fancy forgot a certain day late in march a beautiful and scornful woman standing in a luxurious and strangely room and teaching him a wholesome though unpleasant lesson respecting his own and chapter vi vain is the effort to forget is generally a lively feeling of satisfaction in the remembrance of having played a difficult game and won it i am afraid this satisfaction is not wholly amiable and arises less from the thought of one s own skill than from joy at the painful discomfiture of one s opponent when poor mr admitted his mistake and retired and from the scene of action elizabeth was conscious of a certain proud pleasure she rejoiced in his humiliation but when the first heat of her anger against him died down and she had time to think the matter over quietly she became more sensible of having received than of having administered a pretty sharp rebuke for the last eighteen months she had been trying an experiment by the of various old elements in her life and the careful and mingling various new ones she hoped to manufacture happiness she anxiously watched the drew forth a little of its contents now and then to test them added fresh her furnace fire into a flame to try what more heat would do and then let it and almost die into white ashes to see whether a lower temperature would be more but though a in black and she waited and with admirable patience and constancy tbe elements would not mingle somehow and melt into tbe harmonious glow of true happiness elizabeth began to distrust tbe results of her experiment she bent anxiously over her work she applied herself to it more diligently than ever but in her secret soul a wretched suspicion grew ever stronger and stronger that happiness can never be that though all the of the world and all the glory of them were passed through the yet not enough happiness could be from them to satisfy the thirst of one frail human creature mr had come into the mysterious gloom of her and had told her almost that her experiment would be a dead failure and that her working at it was so much mere waste of time elizabeth had driven him out with flashing eyes and scornful words yet the longer she thought over it the more she feared that ho had spoken the truth s disappearance had disturbed elizabeth very much more indeed than she cared to own even to herself she was almost alarmed at discovering now that he was gone what a large element his society his music and pleasant conversation had represented in her scheme of happiness she was annoyed at feeling his absence so much and rather the part of entire indifference in consequence she had been restless and uncertain before as mrs frank had not failed to note these unpleasant symptoms were by s disappearance mrs frank observed them they made her uncomfortable she asked herself more than once whether she had not made a fatal mistake but mrs she gave no to husband or to the of the share she had had in producing the present aspect of affairs like the bad characters in the mrs frank kept herself close and like them hid much mental discomfort under a remarkably flourishing exterior were these more and troubles the only ones which my poor elizabeth had to struggle with at this period there were others of a plain obvious and material character which caused her a good deal of anxiety during the last year and a half she had spent a large sum of money a house after the and fanciful manner of the present day a considerable then elizabeth had expended a good deal upon her clothes she had a natural tendency toward surrounding herself with the best of everything had advised her to be charming and please her friends she was charming she was more she was in a way magnificent no doubt it is a most admirable thing to be magnificent but unfortunately it costs a lot of money she had not entertained much so that the actual expenses of her housekeeping ought not to have boon great yet even in this department a good deal more had been spent than was actually necessary elizabeth had been rather worried for some time but by the end of march her financial position was such that she perceived some very distinct change in her manner of living to be	32
he felt that he had given elizabeth cause to be angry with him he was less inclined than ever to say unpleasant things to her about her extravagant expenditure i blame myself very much in these business matters of yours elizabeth he said fm afraid i have been i ought to have looked after things more and then you wouldn t have all this worry elizabeth sat down at the writing table and began arranging the papers she was vividly conscious all the while that the drawing of her dead husband lay face downward in the drawer just under her hand she had robert s money to help her to forget robert the thought was hardly a soothing one just now i don t i need bother you with a statement of everything frank went on i you ll just agree to my suggestion and leave the rest to me i ll set it all straight elizabeth looked up quickly with a keenly distressed expression oh no no she said i can t let you do that i don t mean settle it in the positive and material form answered frank smiling it can all be arranged without any more trouble to mo than the writing of a few letters it is a miserable business cried elizabeth getting up suddenly and turning away while the hot tears came into her eyes a h in and white pray don t yourself so unhappy said frank quickly nothing so very desperate has happened after all you re in a little mess but you re by no means yet elizabeth was always disposed to feel too strongly frank knew he was prepared for that but still the expression of her face did seem to him most tragic at this moment what shall i do asked she without looking at him well he answered if you didn t mind going away for a time and letting the house for the season it s so pretty that you might ask a fancy price for it i think we could put all your affairs straight i am quite willing to go said elizabeth the house and all connected with it represented so much annoyance and disappointment just now that she was disposed to welcome almost any change i suppose you could go down to mr s at for the summer couldn t you frank added oh no please not there said elizabeth quickly she shrank from the idea of under these circumstances elizabeth had begun to feel that she had not behaved altogether nicely to the she from the notion of making use of those persons whom she had formerly neglected t i go abroad she said i suppose i should have to take with me but i could live very i could easily find a quiet at or somewhere about there wouldn t you be awfully bored though observed frank oh no she answered i think i rather enjoy being alone at this moment with the thought of s possible interpretation of her conduct strong in her mind and the memory of her husband so strangely and suddenly forced upon her ance elizabeth had a sort of sullen longing to escape from there are always the mountains and the lake to fall back upon she added frank made a rather expressive face i don t go in very much for mountains myself you know he said they are rather companions when one is alone but you do just as you like elizabeth i don t feel as if it mattered very much where i went or what i did said elizabeth with a sudden bitterness i am afraid i am altogether a everything seems to go wrong with me frank not having the keys to the position could only smooth his fair beard and wish in silence that women were not so much given to making general statements of a and unreasonable nature after a minute he observed in tones intended to be encouraging s bent on going abroad again this year so i suppose we shall go generally has her own way in the end she and the children might join you in july and i would follow as soon as i can escape from that everlasting paper elizabeth did not offer any comment very well then he said you ll leave all these accounts and things in my hands i ll see about letting a sketch in black and white the house at we ought to let it from the of may can you pack up and clear out by then do you think oh yes i she replied wearily i can be ready any time the sooner the better as far as i am concerned chapter for a of thou here likely find a of for a of pleasure a pound of pain for an inch of mirth an ell of as doth an these our life it is not necessary to follow elizabeth through the processes of packing up arranging her house and taking leave of her acquaintances many of whom were a good deal interested by the news of her approaching departure not to be found and mrs letting her house and going abroad i it looked very much as if something had happened a good many questions were put to but the anxious were not very fully satisfied by her answers had private reasons for desiring to keep her own counsel and displayed a considerable amount of the ingenuity that her husband so much admired in her too curious suffice it to say that the house was let at a high rent to a clean and tenant and that elizabeth saw that her pecuniary difficulties were in a fair way to be eventually settled there is something in the ending of almost any episode in one s career the episode in itself may not have been very brilliant or satisfactory yet there is a sense of regret	32
as one turns the page and says to one s self this is done with anyway it a sketch in and white may influence the future a little possibly but practically it is past and over and will never be read through again so felt elizabeth the last few days she spent in london things seemed to have broken off short and the future looked very blank and empty to her in three days she would start on her journey and she began to fear with frank that the mountains might prove rather cold and company after all she had been packing and arranging and saying good by all day long about half past five a necessity for air and quiet came over her and herself in a long over jacket for the april evenings were still cold she went out to refresh herself with a solitary walk by the river she had been hurried and in the last few weeks she had been called on suddenly to form new plans and take an entirely new departure she wanted a little time to arrange her ideas and got some general view of the situation there had been a good deal of rain earlier in the day and the sky was covered with a of dull gray cloud the rain was over but the were still wet and the image of the lamp posts was repeated in ugly lines on their shiny surface the river was very full and by with little hurrying circles and here and there breaking the face of its otherwise smooth and current it choked and around the of the bridges and then swept on again swiftly reflecting the sad colored leaden sky above in its broad ul bosom the buildings on either bank loomed black and mysterious through the dense misty atmosphere the itself was quiet and deserted enough but elizabeth could hear distinctly in the distance the hoarse murmur rising up from the crowded streets suddenly a train rushed out across the railway bridge with a of metal and roar of steam and when the noise of it had died away far down in the south she noted the sharp rattle of a over a stone crossing the steady of the horse s hoofs and the of the under the wheels as it passed her another rattle over the stones again in the distance and the sound of it too died away in the murmur of the great dim toiling city a sense of almost intolerable loneliness came over elizabeth there was something weird and strange today in the hurrying river and in all these familiar she seemed to be standing on the edge of a vast world of movement of life of earnest striving and endeavor in which she had neither lot nor part the past had not satisfied her hungry craving for happiness and the future seemed to offer even less than the past love and marriage alas i she had tried them they were over and had yielded but scant delight friendship her friend had grown tired and left her without a word i duty elizabeth shrank from the idea of duty it meant humiliation and self mrs s face thin and faded came before her and mr s hot sounded in her ears while the wet south wind swept across the river bringing the delicate flush of youth and health to her cheeks and men and women passing by turned to look once again at the richly dressed stately young lady pacing slowly along in the damp and dusky evening elizabeth felt herself utterly weary and desolate was it true then that life had little enough to give after a ii in and white c all did it really offer nothing but disappointment hopes solemn vows broken fair promises forgotten and then the end of it cold dark and ugly sweet lips that would kiss kind hands that would clasp no more for ever beautiful limbs lying rigid in death eyes closed and gentle voices hushed in everlasting silence and beyond a hope merely a possibility to faith a promise a pledge but faith alas is often too weak to grasp it elizabeth thought of the quiet room shaded from the fierce glare of the southern sun in which robert had panted his life slowly and painfully away two short years before of the last smile with which he had turned to frank and her as they watched together by his bedside of the horrible chill and bewilderment that had overtaken her when she realized that he would never move or speak to her again was it possible that this was all that life could give her after all elizabeth was filled with an immense self pity those pagan instincts which are strong in every nature that is capable of being deeply moved by outward nature by beauty by the glory of physical health and physical joy stirred within her she passionately against things as they against cold and f act against the sorrowful ordering of this world against the strange of individual suffering in the general movement of things it all seemed cruel cruel cruel why was she why was she tormented thus she against her fate and like job of old was tempted to curse and die down in the west above the jagged line of and on the river bank the clouds were mrs slowly breaking and between the long level lines of them there showed a space of open sky pale clear green glowing into delicate light down toward the horizon it seemed infinitely far pure utterly peaceful set there for a token of final and everlasting rest to the troubled and struggling children of men to elizabeth it seemed to image forth the pale rapture of saints and angels it was of the heaven heavenly she was of the earth she trembled and shrank away from the	32
all the gentleness had gone out of her face you remember our compact she said you have taught mo something about friendship in the last eighteen months and i thank you it has been interest ing it a very pretty g only unfortunately it seems people so soon get tired of playing it then she held out her hand to him ood by mr she said ought to have been glad things were certainly turning up it would be very easy for him to accept the ruling of events and avoid further yet so perverse is the heart of man he felt anything but satisfied in point of fact he felt rather desperate but i see you again i must see you again he said i shall be engaged all to morrow answered elizabeth coldly not in the evening said surely i may come in in the evening elizabeth rang the door bell she was silent for a moment but just as opened the door from within she turned to and answered him quickly yes she said you can come in in the evening if you want to then she passed into the house on the hall table lay a gentleman s visiting card elizabeth picked it up languidly and moved under the lamp to read it it bore a name she remembered very well the name of mr edward chapter vm for as a lingering in the glaring streets of some far off southern city and hearing suddenly a few bars of an old well remembered tune is carried back in fancy across land and sea to the cool english air and soft green english landscape to home and the simple vivid joys and sorrows of childhood to those clear early days that seem to have no shadows and no perspective and being thus carried back in fancy feels a sense of repose and quiet and security stealing over his whole being so elizabeth seeing edward s name thus unexpectedly in the midst of her loneliness and confusion and disappointment was filled with a certain vague hope of rest and contentment it has been said that first love is infinite and has no second like to it the latter part of the proposition i fancy most people will be willing enough to assent to whatever they may hold concerning the first part of it regarding are easier to make than to sustain as a rule but first love has no second like to it for it is an into the mysteries and must ever after exercise a strange and subtle influence over the mind it is of the nature of a revelation for the first time we worship in the temple face to face with oar divinity many of ns worship pretty freely in that temple afterward we get to know nearly every nook and comer of the we grow more or less accustomed to the passionate strains of music and to the rich of the incense we cease to be much impressed by the dim religious light some of us even go further and discover that the golden image of the goddess has feet of common clay that the singers and have a tendency to gossip over the last bit of scandal and even to eat during the intervals of the services and that the incense itself may be bought extremely cheap in the market place just outside yet notwithstanding the trying which come to us with time and knowledge very of us can regard with entire indifference the man or woman who first drew aside for us the curtain that the temple door who showed us for the first time the eternal loveliness of the goddess and taught us first how to move within that mysterious inner circle of perception and emotion which is commonly called love elizabeth s first lover the man who had for good or evil first drawn aside the curtain for her was a fresh faced young englishman of a common enough type clean tender hearted willing to and quite incapable of understanding the depth or the breadth of her character he was not a very remarkable or admirable young man he hunted and and made love and talked politics over a good bottle of after dinner in a very commonplace way he was not in the least troubled with ideas nay further when called upon by his father to do so he had after something of a struggle followed the very sensible if example of the a in and white and while he sighed as a lover had obeyed as a son elizabeth s pride had at his desertion of her had so strongly that it hurried her as we have seen into a marriage with robert in a way she might pat down all the troubles of her young life to edward s account and yet yet the memory of first love is very strong coming in from her dreary walk on the parting half in anger from her friend on the elizabeth suffered a strange transition of feeling when she found edward s card on the hall table she had not seen him for four years she did not know anything about his present circumstances she did not oven know whether he was married or single but she was filled with a longing to meet him once again to go back for a few hours at least to that pleasant easy time before she had known anything practically of sorrow or disappointment she longed to breathe the morning air again after struggling in the heat and confusion of the everything seemed to be slipping away from her just now a foolish hope a fancy that somehow a meeting with her old lover might make things clear and straight came over her elizabeth knew dimly all the while that she was the lessons of experience that she was fighting against fate that she was	32
came hero on purpose to say frank wants you to come over to dinner to night to morrow he ll be busy all day you really must come back me with me this evening elizabeth we ll have a lovely time putting the babies to bed before dinner now you ll please frank and come won t you there was something soothing in the thought of those two small curly headed creatures in their little white night gowns they seemed to belong to the same simple side of life as edward there was a sweet though sad expression on elizabeth s face as she answered mrs yes she said fu gladly especially to see the babies mrs frank looked at her intently for a moment you certainly are a very attractive woman elizabeth she remarked there is a great deal of about you i enjoy immensely having you to think about though i don t pretend to understand you i hope you won t do anything very extraordinary while you are abroad i should be so sorry not to bo present if you do anything extraordinary pray keep it till the summer till i come out to you elizabeth always disliked these intimate reflections of her sister in law s i suppose i shall see you to morrow evening again she said mrs frank s last remarks ah i my dear elizabeth rejoined the other that is really dreadful now i must confess all my sins i ought to have done it before but something put it out of my head i really have been a fearful idiot i quite forgot it was your last day will you ever forgive me she added with a very bright smile and charming little air of it was horribly stupid of me but i made an engagement for to morrow evening then you won t bo able to come here inquired elizabeth s observations regarding her walk with had made her uncomfortable again one of the very last things she desired was to spend an evening alone with him still loss did she want him to be third wheel to the cart if edward came as she intended that he should oh we ll come in for half an hour said a h ik white it her arrangement might be with she did not at all want him to be put off don t alter any plans for ns well certainly come in haven t to go to our affair till late and of coarse we should have come to say good by anyway now elizabeth do come back with me at once she added getting up i m sure you needn t change your gown it is grand enough to receive the whole of the in and frank and i are very simple people you know elizabeth paused a moment before answering she looked tired and pale and yet her eyes were unusually bright my dear creature it will be long past the children s bed time if you re not quick said a little impatiently oh just give me two minutes cried elizabeth i must write a note i won t be long mrs frank felt that things were serious she was playing her game altogether in the dark she felt that it was necessary to b cautious i ll wait she said but pray don t put anybody off on account of our engagement we can quite well come in for a time to morrow evening elizabeth moved quickly into the other room and sat down at the writing table waited slowly up her gloves again she was a good deal interested in the thought of elizabeth s note she felt very curious to know whether it would be addressed to or not she heard elizabeth writing hurriedly for a minute or two then there was a pause followed by the sound of paper being sharply torn up and the fluttering noise of it as it fell mrs r into the paper basket mrs frank remembered those little sounds afterward she never quite understood why they had a special significance for her but she never could hear them in a quiet room without thinking of elizabeth s pale tired face and bright eyes and of the damp evening when she waited so long for her to come in from her walk by the river there was a sound of writing again then elizabeth got up from her seat at the table i ll be ready in five minutes she said as she went out of the room the says that there are more ways of killing a cat than by choking her with cream there are more ways certainly of learning the destination of a letter than by asking the writer of it point blank for whom it is intended mrs frank remembered that there was some delightfully quaint china on the mantel shelf in the back drawing room she had often she thought wished to examine it she strolled into the other room the china of course was the object in view but she was obliged to pass close to the writing table on the open book lay elizabeth s note the candles were burning brightly and elizabeth s handwriting was large and distinct mrs frank could not help seeing the address it surprised her very much she had never heard of edward before in her life she had made almost sure that elizabeth was writing to this little discovery put out all her calculations yet perhaps it the interest of the situation decided that she and frank would certainly spend half an hour with elizabeth next evening chapter ix and by harder the meet but meet too late passed anything but a comfortable day he had a long sitting in the morning from the mrs a very pretty young woman who was making a reputation in certain circles of society for her	32
beauty generally enjoyed his work heartily but to day somehow he did not feel at all in the humor for it he seemed quite unable to make satisfactory progress he was both irritable and and gave his fair some excuse for announcing later to her little court of friends and admirers that mr was really rather a dull young man and that she for her part considered both him and his drawings immensely in the afternoon feeling that he must occupy himself somehow decided to go out and make some calls but on second thoughts he arrived at the melancholy conclusion that there were not any members of his acquaintance whom it would give him the smallest pleasure to see at this moment formerly he had very thoroughly enjoyed his own society but times had changed sadly with him lately he was beginning to find himself a very poor companion now l bs and he went so far indeed as to vote himself an intolerable bore when the time for him to present himself at mrs si he felt as uncertain and as the sudden outburst of strong feeling which had carried him away for a time when he first met elizabeth the night before had died down again he really could not tell the least now whether he was in with her or not he fancied a certain feeling was there but it wanted some striking circumstances to it and make it and how unlikely thought were any striking circumstances to surround his meeting with elizabeth this the frank would be there would be just as usual lie would most likely play a little elizabeth would probably be tired and would not talk much then they would all say good by and would go on just the same as it was yery had often laughed at his own peculiarities but he had always done so in a yery sympathetic spirit he really cherished and respected all his and little he thought himself pleasantly original today he laughed at himself rather bitterly there was a of contempt in his amusement he was not sure that he was not a yery poor creature after all such a state of mind is far from knew that his coat was in fit that his shirt was a miracle of that his collar was eminently the right thing that he was in every way an unusually good looking fellow yet for all that he was a thoroughly depressed and unhappy young gentleman as he walked into elizabeth a in and white s pretty drawing room on this memorable evening inside the door he stopped utterly surprised and forgetful of his own little troubles to contemplate his hostess over whom a remarkable change seemed to have come elizabeth was standing in the middle of the room with her head thrown back and a curiously intense expression on her face as if she was listening for expected sound in her hands she held a long of large brown wooden beads with a roughly carved hanging from it she stood twisting the beads about in her fingers with a strange restless move ment elizabeth had come across the that day as she was looking over some drawers in a cabinet in her bedroom it had been put away there a long time before and she had almost forgotten the fact of its existence but seeing it again she remembered very clearly the circumstances under which it had come into her possession robert had given it to her she remembered as if it were but yesterday the sparkling green lake the purple mountains sleeping in the summer sunshine the gray walls of the in the with trailing and delicate and great masses of crimson the rugged of their the laughing in his blue shirt with a bunch of red roses in his rather hat lying lazily on his back in the long rank grass the quaint little just outside the gate where a gentle patient looking lay brother in and a rough brown habit set out his small wares n er strings of tin of local and patron saints to tempt the handsome english who had just rowed across the glittering lake from the gay french watering place on the other side while far away down in the south the rugged crest of the awful in its loneliness and the purity of its whiteness rose up into the deep blue sky the way to the passion and the romance of lovely italy elizabeth remembered the scene and the day clearly it was one of those days that stand out from the experience of a lifetime a day on which it seemed to her she had come yery near grasping the phantom of happiness which it had been her or her sin poor child so constantly and vainly to pursue now in the hour of need she found this rough wooden again and with it she found a store of gracious and tender memories a half superstitious fancy that it might help her in trouble save her in temptation shield her from evil came over her and with an faith in its protecting virtues she brought it down stairs with her and held it in her hands when her guest came into the room but the only attracted s attention when he first looked at her from the strange contrast it formed with its old world suggestions of sorrow and pain and to the rest of elizabeth s appearance she was dressed in a gown of soft ivory white trimmed with rich old lace the sleeves of the dress were short with falling of lace leaving her arms bare from the elbow the neck of it was open with a soft of lace around it too on her arms were gold and round her throat a gold chain with a square gold cross on her bosom a sketch m black and white was	32
a of deep red hot house flowers roses and crimson there was nothing very extraordinary about elizabeth s dress after all indeed it was in a much style than that which she usually affected it was the change from black to white which struck so forcibly he thought she looked younger and more of a girl and less of a woman while the strangely pathetic quality of her beauty seemed in a way and deepened felt as if she could not be the same woman that he had parted with on the damp the night before she seemed changed altogether he did not know whether he quite liked the change or not there was a restless in her eyes and a clear burning red in her cheeks as looked at her in her white dress with the in her hands he had a strange sense that there was some terrible sacrifice about to be accomplished and that this fair woman was the victim elizabeth laid the down quickly on the table and then received him with a pretty show of cordiality but it seemed to that there was a hint of coming disaster in her very brightness which pained and perplexed him i feel a little to night said elizabeth smiling as she held out her hand to him as if i was bidding my farewell to the stage i am taking leave of my audience i am going to retire into private life i want to leave a good impression on the public mind for the public on the whole has been very kind to me you see i have arrayed myself in dainty new garments and filled my rooms with sweet spring flowers yon shall sing your good by song to night and then the curtain mrs will come down and tho lights will be pat out and i may be foolish but i have a mr ton that it will be altogether and not au to this poor player elizabeth said the last few words softly and with a touch of earnestness which was a little disagreeable to he thought she seemed feverish and for once he became extremely practical and full of common sense you ve been doing too much and you re tired mrs he answered had and of which subsequent events proved to be entirely false for one that has really come true elizabeth looked down for a minute then she smiled at him rather very well then she said if you object to so much we ll forget all about them we ll pretend to be very cheerful and encouraging and talk about the beauties of and the charms of foreign travel and the relief of avoiding a season in london i wish to be most as i shall not probably see you again for a long while but i must honestly tell you that i don t think the country has quite agreed with you somehow i fancy the winds have blown away a good deal of your usual decidedly elizabeth was not like herself to night looked at her curiously things have not gone quite so well with me lately as they usually do mrs he said i have had a number of new experiences interesting no doubt from one point of view but not wholly agreeable all the same a in black that s a pity answered elizabeth quickly she to have a sort of necessity for talking i don t think your new experiences have quite suited you you have been working a little too hard at them possibly your as would say is certainly to be serene and i have been anything but serene rejoined i have been dreadfully worried and i have been utterly and but there he stopped was announcing somebody elizabeth made a rapid movement toward the door then seemed to think better of it and stood still looked sharply at her her breath was coming quickly and the two spots of color on her cheeks burned brighter than ever cause and effect often seem to a to be rather edward as he entered the room certainly did not strike as a very individual lie was a tall well made man of about eight and to judge by his looks even in his evening clothes there was a faint and distant suggestion of the stable about him and his trousers undoubtedly were rather tight a fresh complexion gray eyes a fair and features calling for no particular comment a kindly young gentleman with a profound knowledge of horses and dogs and sport in all its branches with a disposition probably to hold art and books and music in slight contempt and to the more cultivated side of life generally but still honest and loyal hearted and acknowledged universally in his own set to be a thoroughly good fellow d mrs he forward toward elizabeth with a frank cheery smile it s very kind of you to ask me to come and see you in this sort of way mrs he said shaking hands with her i was awfully sorry to miss you yesterday i wished very much to see you again answered elizabeth stood watching her he fancied there was something constrained and in her manner she was generally so composed and almost stately in her bearing that her present restlessness struck him all the more forcibly i am going abroad to morrow so that i could not leave the matter to chance i thought you would forgive my short and invitation elizabeth said this prettily looking up at the tall young man before her did not enjoy the situation in the least i was only too delighted to come i m sure said mr very cordially then he looked rather hard at he seemed to expect the latter to speak to him whether from or from some subtle feeling of the of the position elizabeth could	32
not make up her mind to introduce the two men to each other there was an awkward pause was the first to speak his voice was rather loud and noisy noted the fact he was disposed to be observant of all this man s you always seem to be going abroad mrs he said i called here about well let s see last september two years i believe it was just before i a sketch in black and went to america you know been to america he with an air of simple importance which considerably no she said i didn t know it yes went on i have though mrs i had a very jolly time a lot of sport everybody goes to the rocky mountains to shoot now you know it s quite the right thing you ve been i suppose he added turning suddenly with an inquiring glance to no ho answered quite slowly fixing his eyes meanwhile on mr s boots i don t shoot and i always avoid doing the right thing on principle it s a little shall wo say to do the right thing looked up at elizabeth as he said the last few words there was something of surprise and disappointment in her expression and she did not seem to hear what he was saying mr stared at the last speaker for a minute with an air of slight bewilderment then he seemed to conclude that had intended to be amusing and laughed a little in a civil manner but i was going to tell you mrs he said turning again to elizabeth that when i called hero before you were abroad then and they said something about illness and i felt awfully sorry i hope you weren t ill mrs the color died out of elizabeth s cheeks no no she said quickly it was not i that was ill i m uncommonly glad of that remarked mr he really looked quite relieved but he continued to turn questioning glances upon the young squire seemed to find something singularly in the aspect of elizabeth s other guest felt by this inspection this man he supposed was some old friend of mrs s possibly a distant cousin perhaps they had played together when they both wore short and that thought was not wholly to him but they were far enough apart now anyway and the man whoever he was had no right to presume upon his old acquaintance with mrs his knowing her when she wore if he had done by no means justified his staring in that sort of fashion at her present friends moved away and sat down in an arm chair by the fireplace the same in which elizabeth had sat when mr expended all the powers of his eloquence in trying to convert her to the cause and into mrs felt far from amiable two are company and three are none he had a very distinct feeling that he was the third just now he began idly some tall white blossoms that stood in a glass jar on a little table at his side the flowers were very sweet elizabeth had filled all the and pots with them and the air of the rooms was heavy and faint with their perfume if he must needs be third was determined at least to appear unconscious of representing that generally unwelcome member but as he leaned back in the arm chair and with half closed eyes watched his fair hostess and the tall young squire his irritation grew stronger and stronger was generally very respectful and a in and white tender toward all living things the sight of a flower lying fading in the hot dust of the street among scraps of paper and rubbish caused him actual pain this evening he was possessed with a curiously feeling and as he noted every word and motion of the white elizabeth and that objectionable young man he pulled one or two blossoms to pieces in the most wanton and hard hearted fashion elizabeth had moved across the room and seated herself rather wearily in a chair on the other side of the fireplace nearly opposite to edward having discovered a solid and somewhat elevated drew it up beside her and sat down too giving the legs of his a little up just above the knee as he did so and asking a number of questions regarding at the same time that s an awfully nice old house of your uncle s mrs he said i was wonderfully fond of you know i wanted my father not to sell that little place of poor aunt maria s but ho would do it he s a capital fellow in his way my father added mr but i always have thought him awfully pig headed elizabeth smiled faintly yes he is pig headed went on with an air of strong conviction if he wants you to do a thing he never leaves you alone till it s done isn t there something about a man bearing a yoke in his youth upon my word mrs that s just what i ve had to do i ve never had my own way yet about anything edward leaned a little toward elizabeth and looked full at her as he said this then he suddenly mrs seemed to remember s presence again and cast a sharp glance toward him happened to raise his eyes at the moment and they met mr s he felt disagreeable he gave an insolent little and said slowly i dare say it has been very good for you it hasn t been pleasant anyway answered shortly and turned to elizabeth again have any of these girls married yet mrs he went on poor old i i used to feel awfully sorry for him you know he really was a very good old	32
sort but mrs was an awful woman it used to make me perfectly sick to see the way she crammed those wretched girls down every man s throat and poor old used to get so hot and miserable and yet he always did exactly what she told him that woman was a caution you know elizabeth smiled again everything goes on just the same down there she said people never seem to change at all in i wonder if the with the colored body and wheels is going still said laughing it was the finest thing out to see poor old driving that with mrs and all the little inside then do you remember that dance at the at be continued throwing himself back in his chair sticking his long logs straight out in front of him and his fingers into his trousers pockets what a nice dance that was i i don t believe i ve ever enjoyed a ball so much since a h in and white edward paused and sighed as if the memories of that ball were really almost too much for him elizabeth was trying to bestow all her attention upon her guest she looked tired and pale but she managed to keep up a certain show of interest in mr s numerous reminiscences glancing across at her from his arm chair felt more irritable than ever the conversation seemed to him in very poor taste the young squire s was small thought him rather a coarse person it was to suppose that ho should be in any way connected with mrs s past life pulled the head quite savagely off a flower as if that was to blame in some mysterious way for his present do you remember said again turning toward elizabeth do you remember mrs the squire took a little too much of his own champagne at supper and just as wo were all going away he seized on poor dear old aunt maria and dragged her out into the middle of the room and said we d have another sir my word you know i don t believe i ever laughed so much in my life poor maria was in the most awful state ah i that was a good ball do you remember began to that phrase wanted you to give him a second and you d promised all mr checked himself suddenly and cleared his throat with a rather unsuccessful attempt at while he looked quickly across at again it seemed to strike him suddenly that he might be going a little too far had given oyer pulling the flowers to pieces and had picked up a book he was not reading he was watching his companions and wondering whether it would not be much wiser and more dignified just to get up and go he was evidently not wanted his position was a little ridiculous and yet there was something about elizabeth s appearance which made him very to stay there was a strangely blank look on her face which he could not understand if she had merely looked bored he would have thought it natural enough under the circumstances but she looked something more than bored had a conviction that a good deal was going on around him that ho could not at present then mrs was going away to morrow lie put his dignity in his pocket and decided to remain i ve never been back to since said mr leaning toward elizabeth slightly as he spoke i ve not seen any of the people for years but sometimes i think do you know mrs that i never enjoyed any time in my life so much as those two elizabeth s face flushed slightly she tried to smile but the attempt was not a very successful one there was an uncomfortable silence got up and stood with his hands behind him and his back to the mantel piece giving a little kick with each foot to settle his trousers down into their proper place over his knees he cleared his throat again and looked at london s uncommonly full for the time of year he remarked oh er were you speaking to me asked a sketch in black and white putting up his eyebrows slightly and shutting his book perhaps london is full he added i really don t know it s not a subject i have very carefully considered edward contemplated the toes of his shoes for a moment it is remarkable how much inspiration a certain class of men seem to derive from the contemplation of their shoes then he looked at elizabeth for a minute rather he was not an observant person but he was aware that he and his companions were at sizes and he was an follow ho believed that there was a mistake somewhere he feared that he was putting his hostess in a false position he gave a little sigh and then said well i m going to settle down at last mrs you re such an old friend that i should like you just to wish me good luck and all that sort of thing you know he paused i m going to bo married i m going to marry my cousin she s a good little girl and again paused i m sure he went on with a sort of rush if you should be up north any time and would look us up i m sure i i mean she my cousin you know bother it my wife and i should be only too happy to see you and he added looking toward with a civil smile your husband elizabeth started up she gave a low cry as if in actual pain husband she cried my husband what do you mean edward stared at her in utter he made a motion toward	32
mrs why mr ho said had started up too with a smothered exclamation of a somewhat violent order could any thing be much more disastrous he thought than to be taken for the dead husband of the woman you had more than half a mind to propose to he would have spoken but he was absolutely by the strength and power of elizabeth s emotion she stood there looking like some beautiful wild creature which hopeless of escape turns with an agony of despair and entreaty in its eyes upon its ers ah she cried again passionately my husband you don t know what you have said you don t know what you have done and yet i ought to thank you for you have shown me what i really am my husband she stretched out both hands and then let them fall at her sides ah god help me she said there was a depth of sorrow in the tones of her voice and in her gesture which filled both men with pity but even in the midst of his pity was sensible of the artistic beauty of her appearance what an effect on the stage he thought was simply and utterly distressed god bless my soul i he said what have i done elizabeth could not control her voice sufficiently to answer she looked at for a moment and then turned away hush hush said haven t you heard don t you know he glanced at elizabeth he had a horrible feeling a sketch in and that he was going to wound or her in some way but there was no alternative mr died he said very quietly and clearly two years ago in the south of france god bless my soul said edward again nobody had told me i didn t know it the tears came into his eyes he felt he would have given five years his life which was certainly generous for men of edward s type distinctly prefer this world to the next to have left those unfortunate words his old love for elizabeth had stirred very strongly within him this evening he was bound in honor to the good little girl up in the north but he told himself sadly that mrs was the and most attractive woman he had ever known and he cursed the ill luck which had prevented his hearing that she was free till now when he himself was bound chapter x i would follow if that bo i must follow death who for me is bat one step from the sublime to the it is really a very great relief to take that step sometimes so at least felt when at this awkward and period of the evening mrs frank into the room lie had been her pretty freely in private during the last month or six weeks but on this particular occasion he was disposed to hail her advent as that of a veritable angel of mrs frank was in a state of the most refreshing self complacency she was wearing for the first time a new and very elaborate gown that had arrived from paris the week before she felt wonderfully and equal to almost any emergency her dress had a very long train to it which when she walked into the room and stopped suddenly in front of her hostess caused her husband who was following her closely no small inconvenience he had to perform a series of rather little in the background to avoid falling over or otherwise the wilderness of lace and which barred his onward path my dear elizabeth how fearfully ill you look exclaimed mrs frank a sketch in black and white she glanced curiously at and as she spoke she had not counted on three persons all looking and agitated two she would not have minded finding in some such but three seemed to her altogether one too many what have you been doing she asked there was an imploring expression on elizabeth s face which made her stop had plenty of tact when she chose to use it i suppose it s that white gown which makes you so pale you must pardon my saying so elizabeth but you know white is trying if one s tired and i dare say you re ally tired with all that wretched packing i m so glad to see you again she added turning with a charming little air of innocent pleasure to we were beginning to be quite nervous about you i wanted to apply to one of these offices don t you know which are advertised in the daily papers where they find missing friends for you and all that sort of thing i hope you settled your business comfortably before you left we all felt so interested in it though we hadn t the ghost of a notion what it was you are too kind mrs said bowing the of carried a small sword apparently still sword or no sword she was welcome frank had been too busy avoiding his wife s train to take in any general impression of the situation on first entering the room he saw that there was a stranger present it seemed to him that both elizabeth and were silent and constrained everybody looked rather odd and confused he thought but it really was no particular business of hi frank contented himself with his fair beard and wondering mildly whether anything could be the matter elizabeth introduced edward to her and mrs frank embarked immediately in a lively conversation mr s powers in that line were never very great and at this moment he was not a little disturbed and was consequently even below his average in ability but mrs frank was so serenely self satisfied owing to her paris gown that she would i believe have been capable of carrying on a deeply interesting conversation with	32
a idiot if necessary seeing that was safely provided for elizabeth moved across the room to speak to frank who was engaged in back to civilized life again and in making inquiries about and his charming house in as elizabeth came up turned away he could not quite recover his ease of manner in her presence after the very false position in which edward s unfortunate mistake had placed him mr said elizabeth softly without looking at him will you do me a kindness will you go and play it would be a relief for i am too tired to talk there was something graceful in this appeal which touched it meant he thought that she wished him to understand that she attached no blame to him for the distressing scene that had just taken place tes he answered turning to her he was shocked by the and sadness of her face a sketch in black and white went away into the back drawing room and settling himself at the piano began playing rather the first thing that into his head i am afraid i can t talk frank said elizabeth sitting down wearily by him i suppose i m my head frank looked down at her kindly appearance pained him he wished he could take care of her and do her some little service in a quiet way tou ro simply tired out he said i don t half like your going off all alone to morrow without any of us elizabeth smiled faintly i shall be better alone i think she answered there was a long silence between them while went on playing slipping from one thing into another with pleasant readiness and ease and while mrs frank to who became more and filled with the conviction that he was in the presence of an awfully clever woman elizabeth sat star ing straight in front of her with her hands lying clasped in her lap she felt dazed and stricken the world had come to an end after all all she wanted now was to keep herself steady and calm till they had gone away and she was left to herself playing on almost mechanically wandered at last into the accompaniment of the song of love and death and parting which elizabeth had said he sing to her earlier in the evening lie remembered himself immediately and changed the motive but the air had struck elizabeth at once she recalled the words only too clearly she tried hard to master herself with a sort of desperate gasp she put up one hand and pushed the soft hair back from her forehead frank noticed the movement he did not know what was the matter with her but he grew a frightened he thought she was going to cry and of all things he hated to see a woman crying we d much better go and leave you quiet he said you are regularly knocked up and you ll have to go off by the seven o clock express i suppose tomorrow if you go please take them with you said elizabeth with a motion of her hand toward and was not so absorbed in his music but that he managed to see pretty clearly what was going forward in the other room he saw frank get up and go and speak to his wife who turned to elizabeth and talked to her with a good deal of vivacity for a minute or two apparently she was offering a lot of good advice regarding the next day s journey then the two women kissed each with a pretty show of affection edward shook hands with elizabeth and said something could not quite hear what but he thought he recognized the word awfully evidently they were all going away played on he hardly knew why when frank had elizabeth good by he came over to the piano and laid his hand on s shoulder we re going my dear fellow he said and you must come too she is quite knocked up and i want her to be quiet got up with a hopeless feeling upon him it was a wretched ending to a wretched evening every thing had gone against him he had had no chance a sketch in black and white he went up to elizabeth i suppose i must go too mrs he said elizabeth held out her hand to him there was a blank look on her face she tried to smile but the smile died away again and she did not speak went out of the room feeling just a little mad he ran down stairs after frank and began putting on his coat with a considerable absence of his accustomed composure he wanted to get out of the house and be quit of it all i knew mrs years ago down at edward was saying to mrs frank while he helped her with more gallantry than to wrap herself in her fur cloak ah yes she answered she isn t a bit altered added for some reason or other this observation it made him feel wild it seemed as if was being claimed by this man had just opened the door and two were waiting outside in the dimly lighted street the night was cold and chilly with a rain came to a sudden desperate determination he began taking off his overcoat again i ve forgotten something i must say to mrs he said turning to frank don t wait for me i ll follow you in five minutes oh my dear fellow don t go back now answered frank quickly do let her be quiet she s tired to death i won t be long said again i must just speak five words to her frank would have protested further but his wife who had watched this little scene with lively feelings of called oat to him	32
rather impatiently for pity s sake make haste frank ton and mr will have plenty of other for conversation pray don t keep me meditating for ever on this wet i edward laughed his company laugh he fancied mr frank must get the worst of it sometimes very reluctantly frank followed his wife best gown and all out to the cab the front door the two rattled away in different directions and then made his way up stairs again he had a feeling that his conduct was a little peculiar that some people might not accuse him of a want of delicate feeling in going back thus after having bid his hostess good by but had got to a point where he cared very little what anybody might say or think he only knew that there was an absolute necessity upon him to see elizabeth again the door of the back drawing room was standing half open on to the landing waited a moment to steady himself he was about to take the most important step he had ever taken in his life and his old habit of looking calmly at the situation itself the house was very quiet as he paused in the doorway he became aware of a low sound in the air a sound not very heard in luxurious rooms amid warmth and beauty and the sweet scent of flowers but a common enough sound alas i for all that associated it with dusky forms crouched down on at night half seen by the by in the dingy or sad tattered figures at a sketch m white street comers in the bleak mist and fog of dull gray evenings it was only the sound of a woman sobbing and that not loudly sobbing quietly as though hope was dead and her own heart nearly broken waited a minute or two hoping that the sobbing would cease but it did not do so the sound became terrible a perfect nightmare to him he could bear it no longer he felt he ought to go away and yet the desire to see elizabeth once more grew stronger and stronger he pushed the door wide open and went into the room had listened to the sound which arrested bis attention as he paused in the doorway with considerable emotion but it had hardly prepared him for the scene within elizabeth had sunk down on to the floor near the big arm chair in which had sat so quietly nursing his resentment against the young squire earlier in the evening she was in a half kneeling half position she had thrown her bare arms out with a passionate gesture across the little black wooden table at her side her face was pressed down upon her two hands the of flowers was and the pure white blossoms were scattered on the carpet s first instinct was to retire he could hardly bring himself to look at the usually quiet stately elizabeth as she lay there shaken with the storm of her grief he had an idea that except on the stage a woman s emotions should be as carefully veiled as her form it seemed to him almost to permit himself to see her now when she had thrown aside all conventional restraint and was laying bare her inmost mrs heart in tbe wild abandon her sorrow had always a general spirit of benevolence but he had had very little experience in the active art of con so bewildered was he by the situation in which he found himself that he hardly knew how to act it seemed to go away and leave her thus he could not do it if he staid he was in honor bound to let her know at once that he was in the room mrs he said gently mrs the pains of birth are cruel even more cruel perhaps than those of death with bitter pangs and burning tears a new and nobler life was being bom within she had seen her old lover again and his own words had in a strangely vivid way recalled the of her husband for a moment the two men had seemed to stand side by side elizabeth had compared them and judged them and then turned away sick at heart all her past had risen up before her the but courtship and marriage her own sense of bewilderment amid the new conditions of her the haunting thoughts of the boy lover whom she had cared for with innocent girlish fondness her husband s illness and death her rebellion against and against sorrow her angry disdain of simple duty her determination to her trouble her restless desire for amusement and her not wholly successful attempt at all these things came to her remembrance and overwhelmed her she lay in a very agony of with her face pressed down upon her hands in which she clutched the wooden when s voice suddenly aroused her elizabeth struggled up on to her feet as she did a am white saw that her face was all and with crying the flowers she wore were and broken they had made a great dull red stain upon the bosom of her white dress there was something very hideous to in that stain he could not take his eyes off it or forget it with a violent effort elizabeth controlled her sobs and turned upon him why are you here she said why have you come back in this way without any warning admired the fine courage with which she tried to protect herself in her extremity he felt at a dreadful disadvantage forgive me he answered i could not help myself i was obliged to come back i have something i must say to you and this is my only chance since you are going away to morrow you must leave me said elizabeth harshly without looking at him	32
i want to be alone but felt ho had too far to turn back now it is impossible for me to leave you in this condition he said quietly as your friend mrs i have a right to stay till you are calmer it will do no good elizabeth answered bitterly you can not help me nobody can help me i must bear my trouble alone people don t die of grief they say or of repentance either for that matter she added still i shall stay said a look of dead indifference settled down on elizabeth s face if he would stay he must after the first flash of womanly anger had died away she did not really care very much whether he staid or not she was absorbed in her own emotions that she was almost of the presence of another person there was no trace of the about elizabeth she did not pose she simply felt she sat down in the arm chair stood waiting for some time there was silence between them at last he said mrs this is dreadful tou must tell me what has happened i can not tell you she answered speaking slowly and with some difficulty i can not tell any one then she added after a minute or two i have had a terrible experience to night can you fancy what it is suddenly in as moment to be with self reproach to have built yourself a fair dwelling house and in the time of your utmost need to find that it is built on the sand to see it crack and around you to see it washed away for ever while you stand and desolate oh robert robert she cried breaking suddenly into a wild passion of grief oh my darling forgive me i i have tried to forget you i have wanted to fling all the past behind me i have wanted so desperately to be happy yon who have entered into that perfect peace where all our miserable selfish desires and fade away forgive me pardon me elizabeth stood up the flood gates were open and utterly regardless of s presence she poured forth her heart in speech to night she went on i have learned the truth too late i have seen my fatal mistake i have looked back at my past life i see that i have missed the meaning of it all and that self self nothing but self a sketch in black and white is written across every page of it i might have found of joy in wedded love bitter sweet joy in mourning and joy in duty and i have rejected it all ah believe she turning suddenly to him ood is merciful soiled and weary but we may still creep into heaven at last but he is terribly just what we sow that and that only can we reap i have to myself and i reap the fruit of my sorrow a fearful sense of waste yet i can not complain it is bitter r no one else can ever know how bitter but it is all my own doing and it is only just to there was something almost sublime in this submission he thought of our lady of sorrow again and could have down and the woman who stood before him crowned with the glory and the anguish of her utter self after a little time she looked up again all the hardness had melted out of her face and there was something very wistful and tender in its expression if i had only lived two or three hundred years ago she said i should have gone away now and buried my mistakes and repentance in some i should have put on coarse garments have brought my body into with and penance have hardened my hands with labor and don t cried suddenly with a shudder pray don t mrs i can t stand this elizabeth smiled faintly but her lips were tremulous why not she asked gently i thinks do you know i could be very peaceful and contented in some r i where ant out tbe and i might tend poor old folk and teach little children this ia a mere dream with lore again i can t do thia no thank sod yon can t he said under his i do in a way far harder than this she went on something quite commonplace and i must go back to tomorrow and try to please and comfort those whom in my selfish pride i thrust aside and scorned i have made a great f now i shall be content with yery simple i shall be humble in future i think and quite willing to take the lowest room there are better things in life than happiness perhaps but it is sad she added looking away and speaking more to herself than to him it is all very sad it is all over for me and tbe long years stretch out so gray and level into the distance and i shall be all alone and i am so young tbe last few words moved strangely she was very young and tbe mystery and tragedy of it all seemed to him infinite as ho looked at her in her piteous beauty and sorrow read his own heart friendship seemed to him a very pale and good his took to themselves wings and flew away all his doubts and resolved themselves into one passionate desire his face grew thin and eager and a great light came into his eyes he forgot everything else he only knew that amid warmth and light and the penetrating sweetness of flowers he was standing alone face to face with the woman ho loved a m black and white threw back his head and took a long deep breath it seemed to	32
him he had never really lived till now elizabeth was struck with the change in his appearance it almost frightened her instinctively she moved a step back elizabeth listen to me he said bending toward her listen i love you i know that i love you look dearest i know i am not worth very much i have been a light minded frivolous creature enough all my days but i will love and honor you i will serve you early and late your wish shall bo my law i will be your very slave i believe i could make yon very happy only love me darling he said love me the young man s eager face the words of passionate tenderness and worship were very wonderful coming to elizabeth at this moment she had sunk very low in her own estimation all her pride was in the dust and now suddenly unexpectedly came this offer of love and protection ah she said how can i love you i dare not love you after all the past we will forget all the past he answered we will both begin life anew from to night the future is ours only love me elizabeth do not despise poor elizabeth if she hesitated she had taken but a few steps along the rugged way of and self denial that leads up as we trust at last to the glory and peace of heaven saints and have paused and turned pale at sight of that hard stony road winding up the bare what wonder if this delicate weak and mrs woman should longing backward glances at the green pastures and still waters in the valley below what wonder if gentle companionship if love and beauty and common human joys should tempt her if more tender hopes even than these hopes which like every true woman she had cherished and which it had been her lot to see and die should move her to give way tiny baby hands seemed for a moment to press about her bosom and sweet baby lips to meet her own in clinging kisses with eyes dim with strange half happy tears with a smile dawning again on her pale and weary face she stood looking at her waiting lover thought he read her answer elizabeth he said in a tone of triumphant joy and stretched out both his hands with an impetuous gesture to take hers as he did so the wooden slipped from her yielding fingers and fell with a hard dry rattle on to the floor and elizabeth started apart in moments of vivid excitement and deep emotion a very small incident may change the course of feeling and consequently of events that time honored symbol of prayer and and humility with its roughly carved image of the dying of mankind seemed suddenly to an invisible but impenetrable barrier between the two lovers elizabeth was the first to speak her voice sounded thin and far off as though it came from a great distance i can not marry you she said i belong to my dead husband a sketch in black and white a living love is better than a dead love cried fiercely the greatest love most die to gain that which it loves she answered pointing to the lying among the scattered flowers elizabeth said desperately you dare not be so cruel through love for you i have found a new life have you given me a soul merely to damn it elizabeth covered her face with her hands the temptation to yield to his pleading was almost irresistible it is so difficult in the face of that which is seen to cling to that which though unseen is yet eternal but elizabeth had at last perceived that through the wilderness of this life there stretches a more excellent way and she dared not wander from it in search of mere happiness when she spoke again was quite still and calm you must go she said god is good ho will guide us both i can not marry you the last appeal of the civilized man like the first appeal of the savage is after all to the senses as a drowning man at so clutched at his last chance he came close to elizabeth and looked her full in the face i will go he said but first you must kiss me only once elizabeth she flushed all rosy red but she met his eyes tou must go she answered and i will not kiss you even once turned away sick at heart old easy going pleasant life seemed shattered and broken and at this moment ho had little enough hope that a better life would rise from its ruins the passion which had so suddenly developed within him left him bitter and lie was going through those dark and troubled waters which all the nobler natures among us must struggle through at least once if we are to learn anything real concerning our own hearts and the world around us he knew that it was hopeless to try any more to move elizabeth he was weary of the battle and the anguish ood by mrs he said you have given me the greatest joys and the greatest sorrows of my life elizabeth could not trust herself to answer she merely gave him her hand ho took it and bending down kissed it lightly then he went slowly away looked back once elizabeth stood a tall glimmering white figure among the fading with sad wide open gray eyes and a dull red stain upon her breast a few minutes later she had taken the little sketch of robert from its resting place in the writing table drawer perhaps there is no purer joy in life after all than the joy of chapter xl tho order of approaching to the things of love is to use the beauties	32
sob all the hungry mother love in mrs awoke and toward the fair woman before her she staid neither to ask questions nor read a moral she merely put out both her hands and drew the sweet weary head down to rest upon her bosom my poor child she said softly you are very welcome home perhaps we both have made mistakes in the past but we will forget them it must only be a a in black and question of love not of forgiveness between you and me ah i said elizabeth with a sigh like that of a little child which having lost its way and wandered far and wide finds itself safe at last in its mother s arms again ah i you do forgive me dear aunt i know i did wrong but i am sorry and i am so very very tired mrs stooped and kissed her forehead well then darling rest she said it must bo owned tliat the of things are always rather trying are full of hope and promise we have been disappointed many times before certainly but a fig for past disappointments i this time all will surely go straight though too often touched with dissatisfaction and regret still have a promise of coming repose or change about them which is generally more or less grateful the morning and the evening are romantic and one can think of a hundred and one pretty things to say concerning them but it a very and active state of mind or a certain quality of wholesome in one s composition if one can honestly sing the praises of the middle day the morning of poor elizabeth s repentance was strong and fresh nothing seemed too hard for her to dare too difficult for her to undertake but in healthy natures spiritual development is almost always gradual there may be a moment of sudden awakening when the head and heart alike are convinced of error and the recognition of that error may produce a lasting mrs effect on the character but resignation and self can not be in a moment the of them is a long and process during which the poor soul driven forth from its old and fainting in the arid wilderness loses faith and courage at times and cries out with hungry longing after the flesh pots of its forsaken egypt for a while the passionate feeling bom of love to her dead husband and bitter sorrow for her past supported elizabeth the breaking wave carried her far up to the shore but later when the first intensity of her feeling had subsided when mere emotion was required to into steady habit there came a season of trial and danger a time of what old writers call spiritual m which she was tempted to think her faults of little importance and her repentance exaggerated and when the fair and stately ideal of the religious life grew pale and misty to her tired eyes she struggled bravely for she had a noble spirit she never quite lost her hold of the deep truths which she had grasped but at times she was sad and restless and the way seemed very long and the burden very heavy victory is too often a melancholy business after all the battle may gallantly be fought and fairly won yet afterward there must be days of anguish for the wounded and of mourning for the dead and of heavy sorrow at sight of the trampled fields and ruined the promise is to those that endure and notwithstanding depression and self distrust elizabeth did endure and in time she was rewarded she began at last to know the inward peace which a sketch in black and springs from the absence of personal desire and the serenity which grows out of true self in proportion as she ceased to love her own narrow life she began to find a richer and wider life in sympathy with those around her acts of charity and of which before had appeared to her only as tiresome obligations to her fellow creatures now became in a way of faithful obedience to god and loving brotherhood with man was learning slowly and painfully to exchange the love of her own fancies for tlie love of certain eternal doubted scorned pushed angrily aside by generation after generation yet always abiding patiently themselves over ready to bo revealed in infinite sweetness and consolation to the broken and heart it may seem slightly eccentric to describe the moral and spiritual experiences of a modem young lady who ministers to one s material wants at five o clock tea and does not disdain to make herself agreeable in ordinary society in terms which are usually reserved for the of a saint but though the outward conditions and circumstances change the vital processes of the human mind are very much alike in the first century and in the nineteenth a certain type of character its mental history will be nearly the same in every age it is certain any way that those who like myself had the privilege of seeing something of mrs during the months that followed her return to perceived a very distinct change in her personally i must own to having been a good deal occupied about mrs at this period i rs am afraid she was utterly indifferent to my sentimental condition if indeed she was even aware of its existence she had lost some of her some of the rich bloom of her early beauty but to me at least she had never appeared more there was something in her face which reminded one of the still purity of the open sky when the heavy storm clouds are all rolled away and the evening light itself with a tender radiance over the resting land there were a sweet and a certain gracious humility about her	32
she was gentle and friendly no little deeds of kindly service to those around her the people of who heretofore had regarded her merely as mr s as a young lady whose position and personal charms created a rather dramatic atmosphere about her the observation of which might afford some innocent excitement to individuals now began to reckon upon her sure help and quick sympathy in all their troubles in i men of her own class treated her with the delicate courtesy and reverence which it should be the right of every woman to receive at the hands of every j man but which it is really a little to accord to the vigorous lawn playing of the present day i do not doubt but that mrs had sad hours lonely hours hours of disappointment and regret that she was annoyed and and distressed sometimes like the rest of us in comparing her to tlie saints i am very far from wishing to imply that she was indeed i am disposed to think that if the saints themselves had not made a good many mistakes at times while they were here on earth there ii a sketch in black and white would be little enough temptation to ask their prayers now that thej are safe in heaven i would only say that i believe elizabeth like her noble having once perceived the deepest meaning of this e and having seen that more excellent way walked along it with a fine and simple courage while the light about her shone clearer and clearer toward the perfect day if such things do not and can not happen if lives can not be so lived then indeed we are most miserable for the fairest ideal of human that has ever been vouchsafed to poor struggling men and women is after all but a delusion and a lie chapter fear no the o the bud nor the s thy worldly task art gone and ta en wages golden and girls all must ab come to dust that summer was wet it rained in and in july and right on into september at the stream from which the parish takes its name and the low lying lands in the valley were more or less under water for months there was a good deal of illness and fever about the potatoes in the ground and the wheat grew in the before it could be gathered in in our heavy clay country a wet summer is a very nasty business mrs frank notwithstanding elizabeth s held stoutly to the plan of spending the summer in frank protested on the score of expense and of the difficulty of taking two small children such a long journey but his wife having made up her mind he as usual ended by giving way so by the middle of august the frank found themselves established in one of those charming little towns that fringe the northern shores of the lake with their rows of white houses a in and had joined tbe party he would really have been at a loss to state exactly why his feelings toward mrs frank were certainly not of an affectionate nature but he liked her husband too he felt deep down in his heart a sort of satisfaction in being with elizabeth s relations and in picking up stray bits of information about her from time to time a change had come over in the last few months ho was more silent and less cheery and and he looked a good deal older he had been drawing hard lately and intelligent critics thought they perceived a new quality in his work it was less delicately pretty but stronger and with more meaning and of intention about it one or two people were good enough to concerning him that he would still make his mark when some acquaintance asked him one day how he had come suddenly to make such a distinct advance and improvement he shrugged his shoulders and answered with a laugh oh you know this child too has been in hell i the were very prosperous people things as a rule went easily and pleasantly with them but just at this period they seemed to get a run of bad luck the weather was almost as wet in the beautiful pays de as at home in england a daily thunder storm came to be reckoned as regularly included in the bill of fare the children were poorly and and as a very crown of trouble frank managed while doing a little to slip on some loose rock and his ankle it caused him mrs acute pain at the and obliged him to spend the best part of a month on the sofa swearing at foreign countries in general and at countries in particular and declaring that he for his part should spend his next holiday at dine at one o clock and have every evening for tea let say what she liked on a certain monday afternoon while the daily thunder storm was backward and forward among the the were trying to amuse themselves as well as they could in their little it was a not very luxurious apartment possessed of solid furniture and a of faded red velvet on the second floor of the hotel but it had the charm of possessing also two great french windows opening on to a balcony which commanded a splendid view when anything was to be seen frank was lying on the sofa grumbling gently to come abroad at considerable expense and then be laid up in this way was enough to turn even his amiable nature a little sour mrs frank was struggling to take a vital interest in a concerning which she had a horrid suspicion that the third volume was lost and alternately listening to hear if the baby sounded happy with his	32
nurse in the next room and who bored and irritable at being kept so much indoors seemed to be meditating unspeakable upon the now no longer new with the pink hat stood lazily at the open window with his hands in his pockets and his back to the company watching the progress of the storm lie had developed rather a habit of standing doing nothing but stare out of the window just lately a sketch in black and white the prospect was not a cheering one across the lake the mountains of and of the were behind heavy streaming masses of white mist down toward there was a lurid light in the sky and the swiftly moving copper colored clouds were twisted and into a thousand weird fantastic shapes the broad lake itself was a blue with long of livid gray where the sudden of wind swept across the angry surface of the water in the could see the waves dashing themselves against the stone wall on the other side of the while great drops of rain and on the broad leaves of the plane trees in the garden just below it was not an encouraging outlook certainly but perhaps was none the less in sympathy with it on that account there was a knock at the door of the t cried mrs frank over her shoulder then turning to the little girl on the floor by her side she said my dear child do have some sort of compassion on that unfortunate doll tou u break its head right you know if you bang it down on the floor in that way looked up with a very little face at her mother and the head down again on the floor i hate this she said she s so old i want to go out into the garden and play turned round as the door opened it was only a hurried and slightly distracted with a packet of english letters none for yoa said frank as lie examined them before proceeding to open them turned back to the window again cried frank all of a sudden why what s the matter asked his wife almost any event would have been a relief to her this afternoon she felt so bored elizabeth s ill down at said frank slowly running his eyes over the pages of the letter old mr writes they want me to go there at once set his teeth rather hard as he watched the of wind chasing each other across the sullen face of the lake ho remembered elizabeth as ho had soon her last standing pale and patient in her white dress among the scattered flowers lie had told her once that were silly things but lie thought with a sickening feeling of dread of the stain upon her bosom come here cried frank sharply look here this letter s a good week old it was sent to london and evidently it wasn t forwarded for several days moved quickly across the room and kneeling down by her husband s side began reading the letter anything may have happened by this time frank said what on earth am i to do oh i fm afraid she is really very ill i am afraid it is serious said in accents of genuine alarm and distress i tell you what frank she went on getting up and standing by him with a pretty air of determination i must go oft to her at once this very evening a sketch in black and white indeed you ll do nothing of tlie kind he answered shortly like a good many other people frank had a habit of getting remarkably when he was frightened it s quite bad enough to have elizabeth a nasty fever going and about in cottages without your rushing off to look after her and catching it too and i ve not the least intention of being left here tied by the leg with a grumbling nurse and a couple of naughty children on my hands i can tell you i m sure the children arc not particularly answered who in the very article of death would have up to defend the i of the two babies i don t know what on earth to do though said frank had turned round and was standing with his back to the window he had formed a definite plan in his own mind but he wanted to propose it quietly and make it appear the most natural and obvious course in the world both to himself and to his companions he sauntered slowly up to the sofa one thing is certain anyway frank he said quietly you can t travel i know answered the other man i hope i m not a great coward you know but i really don t think i could and mrs can t be spared added that s clear glanced up at him quickly she held her own opinion as to what had made elizabeth m retire to and become so silent and moody even at this moment of real trouble on her part for she was very fond of elizabeth she could not resist trying to gain some hints regarding past events from his manner and expression looked at her steadily there was something rather hard and unpleasant in his face which made drop her eyes quickly on to the open letter again if you write he continued it will be at least five or six days before you can get any answer if you telegraph you can t explain all your reasons for not coming and they may not think you rather indifferent and he paused a minute i really think you d better let me go ho added i can catch the evening train through to paris you know i could go right on down to and telegraph you the real state of the case you really are the	32
best fellow in the world said frank his face clearing up considerably i shall be grateful to you whatever s feelings may have been she hid them under a charming smile of relief and gratitude and made no objection all that night and through the next day as he north in noisy trains on the and at crowded stations was haunted with a vision of elizabeth in her white gown with the rough in her hands and the red stain upon her bosom he had a lurking terror of what ho might at the end of his journey and at the same time a wild hope that somehow he should see her and plead with her and that this time she would yield to his a sketch in and white pleading he knew only too well that he loved her desperately and he hoped on still against hope tired haggard and dirty he at quiet little early on the second day after leaving a cab he drove straight over to by the broad high lying main road the rain was falling in a steady down pour and all the distant country was blotted out with impenetrable mist when at length he got to left his cab in the village street and walked alone up to the house he could almost have cried out loud in the intensity of his suspense as he stood on the when the butler opened the door glanced at him sharply there was something odd he fancied about the man s bearing and manner tell me he said hoarsely how is mrs stared at him for a moment he seemed hardly to know how to answer t you know sir he asked slowly haven t you heard no no cried impatiently why if i had heard i shouldn t come here now to ask waited a minute or two before speaking he looked back into the great hall behind him and out across the carriage sweep as though he hoped that from somewhere somebody would come and help him at last he said simply the funeral was yesterday at noon sir threw up his two hands and staggered back against the good he said under his breath she is dead it was all over he would never plead with her and she would never yield to his entreaties the great black curtain had been drawn between them for ever and he would never see her lovely face in this world again far away inside the house a door then heard footsteps in the garden and a tall man with straight clear cut features and deep set keen gray eyes in a long white and came slowly round the comer of the rambling old house knew directly that it must be mr from the subtle likeness he bore to elizabeth but mr had aged very much since the afternoon that he rode home in the chill and dusk from his long day s hunting seven months before there were deep lines about his mouth as though he had suffered some heavy sorrow which had eaten into his very heart he walked with his head a little forward and his shoulders somewhat bent leaping about him were the two fox and evidently they had only just been let out and wore in a state of frantic joy down dogs get down i said mr can t you be quiet for once in your lives you senseless brutes looking up he caught sight of in the doorway who s that he said sharply what s the matter is the man ill at any other time would probably have resented this somewhat address pretty strongly but now he was too broken down to care to stand upon his dignity a ik black white i have just heard some news from your servant here he said which has shocked me mr paused and looked at him s personal appearance was naturally not improved by his long and hurried journey but mr saw that whatever his business might be he was undoubtedly a gentleman i come from frank said he ought to have come himself long ago answered mr harshly they are abroad said your letter only reached them the day before yesterday has had an accident he is laid up and it was impossible for him to travel i knew mrs very well he added looking mr full in the face i offered to come here and telegraph the latest news to them s voice grow he could not manage to say any more mr turned away and gazed down the carriage drive through the dull rain and mist you are too late sir he said i know it answered quietly enough but he felt that mr s words cut right into his very heart all along he knew he had been just that too late it made him nearly mad to think it was possible nay even probable that everything would have ended so differently but for his own selfish and cowardly if he had spoken as he had been greatly tempted to when he met elizabeth in the windy twilight that evening on the his misfortune he feared was pretty much of his own making i he had no one to blame for it after all except himself and that reflection added just the bitterest drop to the cup of his sorrow a sort of blind rage took possession of him at the thought of all he had lost he turned suddenly and fiercely upon mr regardless of the strangeness of their relative position but how did it happen he demanded why was she ill what what have you all been the two men were still standing on the broad mr had so far made no proposal to to come indoors mr was not in the habit of his own sensations very but he was sensible that there was a certain dreary harmony	32
between his present state of mind and the day and then too he felt unwilling to take this stranger into the house still hushed and in a way by the recent presence of death mr found this interview anything but pleasant he desired to cut it as short as possible and he thought it would be easier to do so standing out there in the wet when s urgent questions sounded in his ears he turned to the young man swiftly and proudly it seemed to him almost insolent and ho felt disposed to make a harsh and cut the interview very short indeed but there was something in the expression of s face that arrested his attention mr looked at him keenly for a minute or two while his eyebrows contracted and a straight line cut itself deep and sharp into his forehead at last he answered quite calmly you tell me you knew my niece well he said very well then you must know that she was not easy a sketch in black and white to turn from any purpose she took in hand she was a noble woman she was stubborn and determined in carrying through that which she to be right bowed he felt that he had spoken and that his companion s courtesy exceeded his deserts my niece mr went on slowly and as though compelling himself to speak was not one of those dainty persons who are content to let their religion walk in silver slippers who themselves on being very much distressed by sufferings while they do nothing practical to lessen it my niece elizabeth s virtues were not of the sentimental and hysterical order mr paused a moment looked away and then spoke again with the same quiet determination had a very bad season he said there has been fever here off and on all the summer from the floods and the wet my wife and i wanted her wanted elizabeth to go away and get out of it all but she wouldn t she wouldn t leave us and the people she chose to stay and work she comforted those who were in trouble and nursed the sick with her own hands it was not a very pleasant office he added but she went through with it all and behaved like the gracious and fearless and woman that she was mr drew himself up and looked at with a somewhat bitter smile verily she had her reward he went on she pulled a lot of cases through by sheer pluck and patience she was loved and honored by and then one day got a cold or a or and herself and mr s voice broke suddenly yoa know all i have to tell you he added after a minute or two had nothing to answer he stood looking on the ground lost in a of strange and painful reflections with elizabeth he felt it must be well for she had fulfilled her highest ideal and that not aided by romantic and sympathetic surroundings in an atmosphere charged with the spirit of sacred devotion but hardly in the plain commonplace life of a dull little village a clay soil a wet summer a bad harvest veiy ordinary stolid laboring men and women i with fever a certain determination to go her own way call it or heroic as you please with a background of solid comfort secure prosperity calm respectability these were the curiously conditions of elizabeth s thinking of the sweetness of her youthful grace and beauty and of her fate was filled with awe and bewilderment for a time his own personal sorrow was swallowed up in wonder lie could not understand it suddenly he turned again to mr who had been watching him in silence what does it all mean he asked with a fierce desperation mr gave himself a sort of shake ah young man who shall answer you that tion he said not i nor men far wiser than l am mr was not in the habit of jumping at a in black and white conclusions be was too stately a person for that but as be stood bis companion be bad at a pretty distinct perception of tbe situation he came a step nearer and laid bis band quietly on s you loved my niece be said in a low voice ah god i bow i did love her i cried passionately stung into vivid consciousness of tbe magnitude of bis own misery and desolation again poor boy i poor boy i said mr main gently his face was full of compassion bo could have found it in bis heart to envy the younger man the wild energy of bis sorrow mr s grief was of a very different complexion it did not strive or cry it was patient and dry eyed but he knew that it would rise early and late take rest that it would make him eat the bread of affliction and drink the waters of bitterness through all the coming days and years till his body should be laid there in the quiet country churchyard and till bis soul too should have found its rest at last in tbe blessed calm of the land that is very far off in losing her i have lost everything said in a despairing voice no no answered mr quickly and almost sternly you have not lost everything tour faith is left you as a christian your honor is left you as a gentleman your work of some sort is left you too i suppose or if you have no work it is easy enough to find some there s plenty waiting to be done on every side you re very bard hit just now but remember you re not alone sad things happen every day things than have happened to yon worse things even	32
il new and cheaper edition london paul co i square the rights of and of are reserved contents book first father and son chapter page i le est i ii le iii book second a test of friendship i the threads begin to cross ii pierce s widow iii in which the colonel takes stock of his position iv le des v suggests a remedy vi a search for a book third lover and mistress l in which philip makes an important discovery ii a spring night iii the joys of iv mr finds himself unequal to the occasion v in the life of a negative saint vi contents page vi two ways of true love vii the colonel hands with his fate viii tries to break her chain ix de i x mrs to put down her foot book fourth the promised land i question and answer ii mrs pierce grows suspicious of her ti it iii in which does the honours of the villa i s iv telling of leisure of love and of a sunday evening book fifth in suspense i answers a question ii the shadow of a great fear iii colonel makes his choice iv dr finds a clue v romance at a disadvantage vi for vii a tea party with book sixth the fulfilment of prophecy i flesh or spirit dr comes near a first mistake by a second iii in which death has a mind to dance too iv man and wife v s ass speaks vi after all a regret f il in which the domestic fowl plays a part contents book seventh the final reward chapter page i for the second time sees a ghost ii the colonel is tempted to throw down the cards in which love loses the game yet wins the rubber iv philip finds his way home v the married man colonel s wife o book first father and son chapter i le est the house at lies low from around it the park rises on three sides in gentle towards the stretch of high table land forming the south eastern comer of the county on the fourth side broad slope down to the banks of the a quiet stream that through mile after mile of rich meadow land past beds and and long lines of under the wide arches of old brown bridges by villages of quaint halt houses and where the and sing in the early summer and by waste places pleasant spots in which nature has her own way still and refuses to be put in harness and to labour for the general good of mankind in any more direct manner than by an offering of sweet and colours places overgrown with meadow sweet and yellow flags and pink willow and tall of purple and and nodding by these the river to mingle its current at last some few miles west of the bright little modem watering place of with that of the historic and so find its way to the and the far distant unknown sea the is anything but dramatic it in no races over rounded no into deep pools no roar and no or laughter the steady colonel s wife monotonous repose of the lies upon it like the men and women who live in the green pastoral country beside its banks it is moderate tinted slow self absorbed and silent at first sight it appears to be somewhat wanting in individual character yet this quiet stream is capable of yielding very pretty effects of light and shade of form and colour to those who will take the trouble to look for them and undoubtedly its neighbourhood a singular charm to the grounds at just below the garden front of the stately mansion it makes a sharp curve away to the right round a thickly wooded spit of land and thanks to an artificial of the river bed presents to the eye quite an imposing expanse of smooth water the house itself shares in great measure the restrained and aspect of the river it is a large square building of the yellow brown of the country with windows and and a low pitched roof but just visible over the line of the this style of architecture is singularly innocent of sun rises it is full of and and is altogether too dignified to to a frivolous taste for the picturesque the only incident in the serious at all claiming attention is the great double flight of stone steps leading up to the hall door these steps are pleasant to contemplate there is a about the descending curve of the massive and an air of easy hospitality about the broad that proves decidedly encouraging to the guest arriving at here the have lived for many generations a strong vigorous race with but little tendency to down to an unsatisfactory point in the person of one female representative there is a certain a healthy of fibre about most of them which promises to the fat family acres even in these thin eager somewhat over civilized times a long continuance in the possession of male a mellow canvas in a carved and gilded frame hanging in the dining room at sets forth in its most agreeable and impressive aspect the true type it represents a large fresh gentleman in a curled wig with a round solid head short nose wide across the nostrils and slightly to a long full upper lip mouth large lower jaw with plenty of what for the want of word one must needs call and prominent light thrown eyes under lightly arched eyebrows his neck is thick and is encircled by a of the finest father and son india muslin the of a steel shows under his scarlet coat adorned with gold lace the picture is by sir	32
lack of moral courage he went in mortal fear of what is best described as a scene or a situation there was nothing gloomy prophetic or about him and unless he happened to be personally offended like most persons of his complexion he was a trifle hot tempered few things were less congenial to him than pointing sternly to the path of duty and the justly following on all wilful of the heart i am afraid it must be admitted that mr jack had not any special for the and that the exercise during a period of some twenty years of his spiritual calling had not made him different in any sensible degree to the ordinary run of english provincial gentlemen at last there was a movement on the part of old he shifted his position slightly and began speaking in a thick voice there was an evident struggle and difficulty about his and at first the words spoken ere barely intelligible jack moved uneasily in his chair and cleared his throat with a touch of he glanced up at as he did so but the doctor sat quite still his high head nose long shaven upper lip and straight chin with its straggling and imperial against the light background of the window jack looking up at him suddenly was forcibly struck by the eminent medical man s resemblance to a goat and then felt a little ashamed of himself for having v to think of anything at all amusing imder existing circumstances colonel en s wife the scenes cold murmured old cold cold it s no use trying any more better give up and get away home don t you see it s getting dark jack held aside the blue stuff curtain of the great old fashioned four post bed and forward can you hear me sir he asked yes i can hear you well enough jack answered the old in the same thick monotonous voice pity they made a parson of you jack but you ll have it all your own way soon parson or not none of em can prevent that you re a regular jack eyes and jaw and all but the scent s cold he went on and it s getting dark and late mr jack was one of those easy going kindly natured men who are never quite prepared for the deeper experiences of life they never get over a sensation of surprise at the neighbourhood of sickness and death their own vitality makes these two things appear so extremely improbable to them jack did not certainly love his father with very affection but as he put it himself he felt awfully cut up at seeing the old gentleman lying there and this state of feeling made it all the more difficult to deliver messages which he was pretty well convinced would prove highly never mind about me sir he said with a certain effort and speaking as distinctly as he could i don t want you to think about me just now but about my brother he paused hoping that the words might awaken a train of sleeping memories and thereby make what had still to be said easier in the saying of it but s intelligence never a very active one was clouded with the mists of weakness and approaching death his thoughts as so often happens just at the close wandered back to the days of youth and early manhood brother he asked slowly which brother there was poor he was drowned at sea and there was fighting they used to call him never saw a better man with the gloves in my life he fought a down in one saturday night and him up so that he couldn t move for at month bless me he was a fine fellow j but your mother never liked him somehow he hasn t been here this long while is he dead too jack he added suddenly in a tone i didn t want to speak to you about poor uncle sit jack answered not about your brother ut father and son ah he s gone i remember interrupted the old man speaking faster and more clearly they re all gone my brothers and my old friends god help em you don t see such men nowadays and s gone and your mother s gone too jack ah dear me the tears came in jack s eyes and ran down over his fresh coloured cheeks all this was horribly painful to him he would have liked to say something gentle and comforting to mr at that moment but a feeling of perhaps of false shame held him back his relations with his father had al rays been of a rather rough and ready sort i wish to goodness was here he thought women are so much better at saying appropriate things than we are stretched his right arm out stiffly and felt down over the bed clothes for the head of an old wire haired that lay sleeping rather uneasily on the bed beside him they re all gone he repeated slowly and sadly then he the old dog s head with feeble uncertain fingers dr s got up from his place in the window he was a short thick made man and a good deal in walking he came across to the bedside and stood there for a moment look narrowly at who lay with his eyes half shut i do not wish to distress you my dear mr he said in a low voice glancing across at jack but i fear the time granted you for speaking pardon my alluding to private matters is likely to be limited i cannot counsel delay and with that he retired to his seat in the window again jack bent over the bed as the saying is he took his courage iti	32
both hands father he said you remember my brother you remember philip opened his eyes and turned his head sharply on the pillows and what about philip he asked almost angrily he s here sir he s downstairs he came early this but you ve been sleeping a good deal and we couldn t tell you sooner he wants to see you won t you see him sir just for five minutes just once before jack stopped abruptly his words had produced an effect he hot looked for old filled with sudden strength sat bolt ut right ih bed his face firm high coloured passionate as it had ever been in the fulness of his manly vigour i sent your brother philip out of this house three and colonel en s wife twenty years ago and dared him ever to come back to it he cried in a loud voice he broke your mother s heart by her i swore i would never forgive him and i will never forgive him never jack was shocked pained altogether amazed he stood up upon my word sir he began but a rapid change came over he stretched out both arms with a sudden gesture as though he was pushing away from him an actual and visible presence ah he cried hoarsely good god what what s this then he fell back heavily against the pillows tlie old awoke with a start and uttering a low howl its hair and its tail between its legs crouched shivering up against the high of the dr came from the window again he bent down over his patient and laid his hand on his wrist for a few seconds in silence the end has come even sooner than i had anticipated mr he said at last looking up at jack who stood waiting the doctor turned his head and glanced at the dog down at the foot of the bed singular he said half aloud and with a slight lifting of the eyebrows very singular indeed meanwhile philip the subject of the foregoing conversation waited with what patience he could muster downstairs hoping for a summons to his father s bedside it was melancholy work enough pacing up and down the gloomy saloon with its tall windows and dark furniture in the dim twilight the room had that indescribable and chill about it which is wont to haunt rarely used chambers the outlook from the window was certainly ill calculated to the influences that reigned within the white fog hung low and dense over the river and crept up the sloping towards the house a black mass of trees oaks and rose out of it just by the bend of the stream on the left and beyond the long flat stretch of the park faded away into misty uncertainty under the growing darkness after many years of absence this was hardly a cheerful for colonel the place seemed full of ghosts and ghosts are rarely good company the colonel had come back longing for peace hoping for a final reconciliation which might wipe out bitter memories of the past but as one half hour father and son after another slipped by without sound or movement in the large house and as the evening deepened towards the night his hopes died slowly and sadly away and deep disappointment and regret possessed him for philip though he had knocked about the world more than most men and was by no means a weak or over sentimental person had a great of purpose and the of feeling which almost invariably goes with of purpose his experience of life had been of a somewhat stem and practical nature making demands upon the more sturdy masculine virtues and giving but small opportunity for delicate or self culture yet there was a very genuine vein of poetry in him too a clinging in thought to this same old home a deep desire for re union with his father and his family a great capacity for enjoyment of the more domestic sides of life perhaps the colonel s reverence for natural simple homely joys had only been deepened by a certain denial and of desire that had befallen him his emotions were none the less vivid because so far they had been and kept in check by the hand of circumstance he had among other tendencies which people will praise or blame according to their own taste in such matters an almost indifference to his own material advantage hearing of old mr s serious illness he came to not impelled by any desire to secure a possibly inheritance but with the simple purpose of for pardon and for a renewal of affection before death should have made all such renewal impossible good natured jack with his handsome wife and herd of noisy children might move over from the house at cold and reign at in peace and plenty and philip would bear them no grudge in the future all he begged for was an assurance that he was no longer an outcast perhaps even forgotten without place or part in his father s memory but as time drew on while the colonel paced to and fro stern and silent in the cold dusky saloon downstairs he knew that all hope of reconciliation grew fainter and fainter he felt sick at heart at last there was a sound of footsteps crossing the hall and of two men talking just outside colonel drew himself up rather stiffly and stood waiting in the middle of the room dr entered first composed and professional slightly and making a little noise with his gold headed walking stick colonel s wife if i might order my carriage immediately my dear mr i should be extremely glad he said turning to jack who followed him into the room if you will kindly permit me i will ring at once he added moving across as	32
he spoke to the fireplace the two other men were left standing opposite to each other colonel looked hard at his younger brother but it was too dark for him to make out the expression of his face well he asked rather hoarsely my dear fellow it s all over answered jack in a voice the colonel bowed his head there was a silence for some then jack did an extremely thing the long watching and the final scene upstairs had upset him considerably and his taste at no time was over refined he was too that his troubles in the way of delivering messages was by no means yet over he poured himself out a couple of glasses of from a that stood on one of the bare tables and them down hastily one after the other his hand shook a good deal he felt all to pieces so to speak dr glanced at him and then at the colonel who waited erect and silent notwithstanding certain superficial and was an eminently man he was also as has already been stated a pretty shrewd observer and something of a he never could see the object of telling people truths of an description unless it was absolutely necessary to do so just now he perceived that jack was up his courage with a view to out information calculated to give pain to the living and reflect no small upon the dead he decided to the end was extremely sudden colonel he said folding his arms and speaking with that fulness of utterance which distinct satisfaction on the part of the at the sound of his own voice a long period of followed by a brief interval of consciousness the mind even then considerably clouded an inclination to dwell on the past reminiscences of former and interests an of early impressions but no active appreciation of immediate surroundings a momentary flash of the old remarkable vigour and then added dr extending his hand with a slow downward movement a final of the light your brother naturally was greatly affected even a man like myself whose father and son ii professional duties so often bring scenes of this nature before him could hardly remain entirely unmoved i need not on the subject to you colonel who must so frequently have witnessed death in its most distressing forms the horror of it by hideous and repulsive surroundings familiarity fails to rob death of its terrors but i own i am greatly relieved he continued with a into an easier manner sincerely relieved with your father s remarkably strong constitution i had feared a painful struggle at the last i am thankful to say we were spared anything of that kind the colonel bowed a sort of general assent to the doctor s statements it would be he felt to ask for intimate explanations before a third person his and an innate dignity which belonged to him put all further inquiries out of the question jack meanwhile was not slow to perceive the way of escape which dr discourse had opened to him he stifled any conscientious scruples that assailed him i did what i could philip he said in a slightly tone but it was just as dr says my father wasn t quite himself you know he was wandering a good deal one couldn t make him understand anything out of the common no no of course not replied colonel he spoke as thoroughly accepting the position and setting the matter aside but there was a sharp bitterness at his heart he was his last chance was gone philip was not without a measure of pride he turned away walked across to the window and stood looking out into the misty twilight while the doctor indulged in a series of appropriate and somewhat reflections to which jack answered with his father was dead and in dying had given no sign he himself was the injustice of the thing as well as the sorrow of it cried out in philip he could not bring himself to remain in a house where his coming had been so unwelcome he turned away from the window went up and spoke to his brother i must get back to to night he said quietly i suppose i can catch the night mail at i ll come down for the funeral of course if you ll let me know the day and hour oh but you know my dear fellow began jack the colonel interrupted him all right he said i know you re very kind jack under the circumstances i had better go all the same thanks colonel s wife chapter ii le on the morning after his father s funeral philip was up and out early he had passed a night in his old home for the first time for over twenty years and sleep had been difficult of there was very much to think about much that was painful difficult to forgive to submit to patiently a sense of unjust wrong is not an agreeable the colonel was glad enough when the light of a stormy dawn began to glimmer in through his window shutters he would get up and go out and try to find good counsel out of doors he went downstairs and out on to the dead of the steps in front of the door the old wire haired got up from his place on the tiger skin before the hearth in the hall and trotted out after him the dog seemed anxious for notice he put his up against the and forced his grey up into colonel s hand with a certain air of inquiry the old master was gone was this the new one the colonel looked down and patted the dog s head for a minute then he drew himself up and took a deep breath of the keen moist air his heart was	32
very full just then i am afraid i am a bit of a fool he said half ashamed of his own emotion i suppose i didn t know how much i cared for the place till it came to a question of giving it up altogether it cuts one a httle at first the gaudy beauty of a wild autumn morning was upon the sky was clear after a night of rain and wind a thin watery blue above and below almost white with a of yellow light along the eastern horizon a broken procession of light grey clouds called of country weather by the ominous name of messengers streamed up from the westward and ragged and dirty across a bank of darker cloud stretching behind the of the trees roughly stripped of their coloured leaves by the night s storm were black with wet and in the sunshine the coarse grass of the open park looking a raw green the wind chill with rain blew the and hither and thither as they left the wood overhanging the bend of the river down behind the house somewhere among the under shelter of the high red brick wall of the gardens on the left a robin was father and son singing a tender lament for the dead summer and for the pain and cold of the long bleak coming winter there were sounds too from the large block of stable buildings on the right the of voices the impatient stamp of a horse the of and of falling water and now and again a few bars of some tune whistled came to colonel s ears as he stood there looking silently at the strange yet scene memories of his mother of his childhood of quaint games and when the wood by the river was in delightful mystery and the river itself seemed full of unknown danger and of promise when the flower garden was a sweet enchanted region and when every natural object possessed a spirit and personality of its own to be approached with wonder and reverence when and too seemed wise with all manner of wisdom men who had a tight grip on facts and were not to be by mere appearances when the keeper in his and brown coat with pockets big enough to hold a couple of appeared a wild and daring character fascinating yet somewhat alarming also thanks to his careless disregard of animal life and profound experience in the matter of memories such as these impressions and associations which had for years awoke now in colonel yes it is all there all that has ever befallen us written with some mysterious kind of sympathetic ink upon the heart and conscience and merely the fated touch which shall restore to the invisible characters their original and make us live our past lives over once more in pleasure or in pain he went down the stone steps round the end of the great square house and along the wide gravel terrace with the on one hand and the sloping on the other he had wandered there years ago on sleepy summer evenings with his gentle sweet faced mother telling her in shy half awkward fashion the story of his first love and of miss s many while mr sat over his wine in the large indoors and the last glow of the sunset faded behind the distant woods in that pool yonder under the stump he caught a perch in the holidays the year he went to and there was the place just where the bank shelves into the water among the rushes and broad dock leaves now and withered with the chill of autumn that he and had seen a couple of water rats one sunday after afternoon service and that spot the old water had missed the last one by a couple colonel s wife of inches and there but the tale would be endless each path and bush and flower bed had its history simple yet vivid sad or merry of remembrance and since those far off yet times the little ugly legged blue eyed boy had grown into a man had wandered and wide had seen strange sights and passed through strange experiences his gentle mother had lain these many years sleeping in the churchyard on the hill above his first love the fair had married the not too son of an irish peer and had drifted away along some quite other road across the land of this life the old squire obstinate and to the last was dead philip himself was middle aged he supposed that he had most of his hopes and illusions and yet the old home was just the same as ever the still as they left their nests and the fish rose in the lazy stream sang among the shrubs men whistled over their work in the stable yard and the rich damp clay soil smelt strong and fresh under the morning sunshine the individual changes drops away and dies his place knows him no more yet nature can always find another bird to sing the old song and the wind blows as it will through all the long years and the land wakes glad and fragrant at the kiss of the pale dawn and plain daily labour goes on steadily from generation to generation birds will sing stable clatter and whistle so one fancies at times just as usual on the morning of the last day itself colonel with the old white trotting solemnly at his heels paced slowly up and down the long walk thinking of these things one of the under sweeping fallen leaves and twigs off the smooth gravel stopped his work as he passed by and took a good long stare at the colonel he d as he told his wife that evening over his supper already as mr jack was come into it all but he felt he	32
thought or expression upon my word he began i don t know what on earth to say to you my dear fellow i am in the most awfully awkward position you know i ve been wanting to speak to you seriously ever since this all came out about the property it isn t right you know it s hard on you though i don t want to say anything about my poor father of course but you know he was very high handed with me there was no getting near certain subjects he was as close and as could be about money matters i give you my word i hadn t a notion till the day he died of the way he meant to leave things and even then he only gave me a hint i don t understand it i tell you i don t know how to look you in the face i feel like well upon my word i don t know what i do feel like he added hopelessly it s most uncommonly awkward for me and your taking it all in this wonderfully generous sort of way makes it all the worse that it does jack s voice grew a little he was moved though his form of utterance was it must be allowed somewhat the colonel came across from the table on which he had laid down his hat his brother s address had pleased him and strengthened his to accept the situation it s all perfectly right as it is he answered you re cut out for a country squire jack it will suit you a good deal better than preaching eh and is just fit for this sort of thing too after all what do i want with a great of a house and an army of servants there we quite understand each other and needn t say any more about it by the way he said presently it seems to me there is no end of keep on south park just across the river simply wasting i should put eighteen or twenty beasts on it at once if i was in your place i suspect you ll find the estate wants a lot of looking after at first things must have been a good deal neglected since my father s not been able to get about and see into them himself then the two men went into the dining room of stock and and kindred subjects and by the time breakfast was over the march was away as merrily as ever again in jack en s head colonel s wife that evening as he stood smoking with his back to the library fire the colonel said i think i shall get long leave jack and go abroad for a time when all this business is finally settled i dare say would go with me you know after all i have seen next to nothing of europe he turned round and a big log that threatened to fall out on to the hearth with his foot i feel as pleased as a he went on at having some money in my pocket to play ducks and with chapter iii a brilliant american writer has told us that in order to acquire a really comprehensive and scientific understanding of the personality of any given man or woman it would be necessary to go back to the garden of and beginning with our first parents to trace the gradual of the individual specimen down through the ages from the cradle of the human race to the present day this doubtless is strictly true it is therefore all the more a matter for devout that such a course is about with obvious impossibility for were it not so there is no saying to what gigantic proportions the biography of the most obscure and uninteresting person might reach let me hasten to assure the reader that it is not for an instant proposed in the present case to peer into the backward of things in this and tedious manner in the hope of therein the ultimate causes of present effects the only desires with all and to make a few statements which may serve to throw some light upon the fortunes and conduct of certain actors in this little drama when philip was about two and twenty an event took place which very sensibly affected his subsequent career he discovered one fine day that he was very deeply in love in love too with a young lady whose fortune would be pretty well enclosed by the trunks in which she packed her modest the young man s tastes were neither nor expensive he had in fact been economical out his pay as in a marching regiment with the slender sum allowed him rather by his father and never quarter day with demands for advances now he intimated that father and son an increase of allowance would enable him to marry and that he wanted to marry very much indeed but unfortunately for poor philip he was not and never had been a favourite with his father whose stock of parental was rather exclusively bestowed upon his eldest son a handsome fellow young had left the university where he had distinguished himself more in sporting and than in learned circles very much in debt his father had just cleared him so that philip s love affair and request for help came at a singularly inconvenient season in vulgar terms mr didn t see it at all what did that silly fellow philip want with a wife and a of at his age he asked the boy hadn t half enough to do kicking his heels at one garrison town after another a little good hard work was what he wanted that would knock the calf love out of him soon enough and then who the devil is this miss he added not i	32
philip caught hold of the reins as best as he could but the slap of them on the horse s back as threw them to him had thoroughly scared it the horse bolted philip was almost helpless he was sitting low and driving from the wrong side too he could not get any purchase on the horse s mouth perceiving the danger made a clutch at the reins again with an oath and succeeded in giving a violent to the right hand one the horse crossed its fore legs and came down like a lump of lead on the hard frosty road the next thing philip remembered was standing out in the with pierce by him he was not much hurt himself but an dread was upon him he went over to the further side of the broken down carriage there was a great heap of stones on the grass by the and across the heap just where the light of the lamp fell lay poor young he would never or play cards or get into debt again in this world some grief is it sympathy almost as colonel en s wife an insult and nurses itself in black silence and gloom so it was with the squire he did not say much about his son s death but he over it in heavy speechless wretchedness he could not his mind to it he had a sense of injury and wrong the house at became a sad place jack was up at college and he went home as little as possible though the fact of his being blessed by nature with many characteristics of the true type made his presence rather welcome than otherwise to his father towards philip the squire felt with deep bitterness the thought that this boy for whom he had never cared greatly who did not resemble the rest of the family either in looks or in temperament would take his dashing elder brother s place was hateful to him heretofore philip had been simply uninteresting to his father he was uninteresting no longer he was if one of the two lads must go why had not fate selected him the squire could have spared him well enough if it came to that meanwhile philip himself was half broken hearted death in kindly fashion out the remembrance of past faults and follies and leaves generally a fair and gracious picture of those we have loved their virtues seem altogether their own and their vices no vital or part of them but merely an easily washed away and ever since the days when s tin soldiers invariably won glorious on the floor of the nursery over his own unsuccessful lying prone and scattered on the ground philip had always admired his handsome elder brother and yielded him the first place willingly even gladly it was horrible that who was so brilliant and taking who promised to support the family name in such an open handed manner who enjoyed life so vastly should have been snatched away thus at a moment s notice but people were kind to philip in his distress mrs was far kinder than she had ever been before her affection seemed to rise with extraordinary rapidity from to boiling point she welcomed him to her house and quite advertised the fact of her daughter s engagement perhaps our friend philip was inexperienced in those d he accepted mrs s attentions with the warmest gratitude while it never occurred to him to inquire as to the root from which they might spring mrs s affection however was tempered with as time passed by she began again to cast a doubtful eye on the young man s pretensions he was in all probability secure father and son good position and large fortune now but then his father as far as mrs could make out was the sort of man who might live for ever meanwhile had other admirers the good lady weighed the bird in the hand against the birds in the bush and unless the former should develop sudden and unexpected felt it would be advisable to her hold on it and employ both hands in trying to catch one of those other birds that were still at liberty she announced one day to the young man s surprise that she had really given him time enough it looked bad for a girl to be hanging on with a long uncertain engagement like this mr must no longer poor dear child was growing worn and mr must marry her at once on a good income such an income as will be in keeping with position and prospects you know or not at all philip was a good deal startled both by the announcement itself and the tone in which it was conceived there was one in it that offended both his taste and good feeling still he was very much in love he wrote home to his mother to say he was coming and then went down to resolved to renew his request to his father as long as he lived he remembered the events of that evening with painful distinctness the dinner was not a cheerful one the squire was moody and hardly spoke except to give an order to the servants mrs with gentle tact and self sacrificing sweetness tried to her husband s surly and to talk as usual but she was nervous and the conversation sank away again into anxious silence philip found his father s manner anything but as the saying is his heart was in his mouth when mrs had left the dining room philip told his little story told it in a modest quiet manly way there was a trace of pathos in the young man s as he pleaded his cause which some hearers would have found affecting but mr was not easily affected he turned his chair sideways leaned his	32
elbow on the table and answered philip over his shoulder without taking the trouble to look at him i told you my opinion of this foolish business of yours two years ago he said it hasn t changed you told us to wait sir and we have waited answered philip mr put his hand on the standing by him and his glass and the girl s got tired of waiting i suppose thinks you colonel s wife can ask for whatever you like now and get it and you think the same no doubt you re in a pretty hurry i dare say to into your dead brother s shoes youve no right to say that sir flashed out philip hotly given you no cause for such a supposition such a thought never entered my head or hers either she was good enough to care for me long ago when certainly nobody could accuse her affection pf being i m glad to hear it returned the elder man slowly it s as well you should know just where you stand if you thought your brother s death would improve your prospects you were mistaken that s all it won t make a penny s difference to you while i live mr swallowed down his glass of port and then broke out suddenly and violently but for you might have been alive now you were i philip set his teeth hard he went as white as the before him i don t drink sir he said and you know it i was as sober as i am at this moment pierce was with us j he told you so at the time pierce was your friend not s what proof ve i that he didn t try to make the best of a bad job and say he could to shield you he s my friend as you say but he is a gentleman all the same sir he is not in the habit of telling lies how far sullen brooding grief had really s reason and made him harbour ugly suspicions against his son how far he was merely by a desire to pain and the young man it would be difficult to probably the two causes were too mixed to be capable of separation he sunk his head on his breast and spoke with brutal so much the worse for you then if you were sober that doesn t put your conduct in a better light as far as i can see you can drive well enough when it pays you to drive well philip sprang up from his place and came round in front of his father his expression was full of amazement and horror what on earth do you mean sir he cried what are you daring to hint at do you know what a thing your words seem to imply mr looked up at him without raising his head father and son his dull eyes were and his face flushed with passion as he answered by god i tell you some people would say you knew very you were about when you pitched out on to that heap of stones this is a fine property and you were my second son foul play has been heard of for a lighter stake than that before now some ten minutes later philip rushed out into the hall letting the door heavily behind him as he did so mrs moved forward in the to meet him she had been too anxious to rest by herself during this critical interview between her son and husband she came back into the hall again and rear the wide open fireplace listening with deepening and sorrow to the fierce voices in the dining room philip s tempest of anger died down as he caught sight of his mother he put his arms round the frail delicate woman in a sudden agony of tenderness come away to your room mother he said i hav got to say good bye to you mrs clung to him trembling oh you have quarrelled i she cried my dearest if you love me go back and make it up remember your father is very quick tempered he often says things he regrets later when he has recovered himself and he is very sore about dear you know how he loved him he cannot submit to this trial it makes him hasty and bitter all his hopes were in and then too he has been troubled about business he has been tried philip cruelly tried and harassed remember all this dear go and make it up with him for my sake if he has a little hard with try to bear it don t be stubborn try to meet him half way young man did not answer till they had crossed the hall and entered mrs s little sitting room she stood by him still clasping his hand and looking with sweet piteous earnestness in his face mother he said the apology must come from him not from me it can t be made up unless he certain he has made against me then it will never be made up said mrs in a low voice he has accused me of a hideous action philip went on of something preposterous vile unnatural i cannot tell you about it i bad better never have been born than hay dreamed of it for an colonel s wife philip flung himself down on his knees before her and held her about the waist pressing his face against her gown mother promise me that you at least will never doubt me that you ll never listen to any suggestions he throws out about me that you will keep me in your heart of hearts that you ll never let anything cloud your love for me promise me mother to believe in me always before i go in the	32
poor boy s weakness mrs found an unexpected calm and strength stand up philip she said gently she laid her hands on his shoulders and looked deep into his blue eyes i believe in you completely and truly philip nothing can shake my faith in you this is a terrible delusion that has taken possession of your father s mind the fruit of sorrow you must not hold him for it thoughts take hold of us sometimes which it is as impossible to drive away as it is to rid ourselves of disease itself but they pass after a time and we shake off the remembrance of them as we shake off the remembrance of a wretched dream with infinite and relief please god it may be so in this case and that before very long you may come back to me again ah you are very dear to me philip you have been the stay and comfort of my life you have been son and daughter to me both in one mrs could not manage to say more the two stood looking at each other for a few minutes in silence then philip bent down and kissed his mother and went away the proverb says troubles rarely come singly to philip they seemed to come in just at this time mrs was pitiless as the income was not on the one part the bride was not on the other she developed an admirable sense of duty feared that the young man must have behaved to his father to cause this and denial a bad son is calculated to make but a sorry husband s happiness must not be mrs felt it would be both and to put a on filial on the highest grounds she therefore entirely refused to think of mr as a possible son in law so there was an end to philip s romance at one stroke he found himself alike of parents home and mistress and thrown upon the world as a mere soldier of fortune with his faithful and affectionate nature he was bound to suffer very deeply under this of misfortunes i do not wish to draw a fancy portrait of the young man and hold him up father and son as a model of fortitude and virtue on the contrary must admit that for a time after the final breaking off of his engagement it seemed a little doubtful whether philip was not determined to set out on that journey commonly known as going to the bad he was so miserable poor fellow that he was sorely tempted to drown misery in but perhaps his mother s prayers perhaps a certain innate purity and sweetness which at bottom made riot disgusting to him called philip back before he had sunk very deep in the he recovered his footing on the solid ground of good living and not without a hot sense of shame and self reproach in face of his past took once and for all to wiser courses great public events too came at this crisis indirectly to his aid the year saw the beginning of a war which we are now assured was highly if not actually be that as it may the fact remains happily or unhappily i know not which that men may fight as gallantly in a bad cause as a good one and that the moral effect on individuals may be as when they suffer struggle and endure in an unjust quarrel as in a just one philip began to show what spirit he was truly of he emerged he distinguished himself later during the hideous months of the indian his name obtained a rather the plain slender young fellow whose quiet ways had made him something of a butt for the wits of his regiment developed both mentally and physically india for some years after the rebellion offered brilliant opportunities to soldiers who had the wit to take advantage of them and philip s patience constancy and courage had already marked him out as a person to be with delicate or work as the young man could not marry his love he decided to marry his sword and contrived as went on to out for himself a sufficiently distinct place in the world with that somewhat instrument a certain simplicity and of purpose never left him but as he grew older philip was not a person with whom it was advisable to take a liberty it came to be understood that some matters must not be spoken of lightly before him a woman s reputation must not be smiled away or a man s moral too easily younger men were disposed to think him a trifle too rigid in matters of virtue and religion for the entire comfort of his neighbours a person given to slight stern and not altogether easy to get on with yet every one admitted that he was kindly too a faithful friend and a fine officer at eight and i the colonel s colonel wife position was acknowledged and assured he had escaped many dangers resisted many and as et perhaps fortunately for himself he had been very true to the memory of his first love and mrs loving both husband son nothing was left her but to live by faith but faith by and encouraging revelations is a lean and far from diet mrs did not upon it as day after day and month after month passed by without any change or sign of on the part of the squire towards philip faith to grow weak and mrs began to grow weak she after her boy he had been a good and gentle son to her ever since the time when clad in a white tucked drawers he had trotted after her up and dot h the long passages at and about the gardens fragrant with the scent of and later he had never	32
of a small orange red villa standing on this high terrace where the noises of the road the railway and the town the ring of crack of and wild cry of the reach you softened and by distance the scene is a very noble one in the south the purple sea rises and meets the sky line the grey sweep of the narrow beach away in a bold curve here bordered by gleaming houses and there broken by some dark wooded past cape after cape and after to the westward just below lies the town built in massive blocks of tall many houses which have flat or low pitched roofs and are painted every conceivable colour from the green or yellow to the deepest blue or at the back of the town and rising tier above tier up the sloping foot hills are and gardens with now and again some gaily coloured villa or the tall of a village church here and there long lines of follow each other in a dark and mystic procession down the marking the boundary of a s property above the olive grounds stretch in a misty silver belt around the slopes above them are of great white heath and sweet bay and with the quaint blotted form of an umbrella pine itself sharply in places from the above again are dusky fir woods and then at last your eyes rest on the bare arid mountain sides towering up in the searching sunlight the crowned by a d colonel en s wife pilgrimage church or or rising naked and harsh against the sky the behind may be described as a giant hand pointing with deep and between the gigantic outstretched fingers only the town and beach and road are pale all the rest woods mountains rich purple sea and rich purple sky glow and with intensity of colour while in the extreme west above the deep blue of far hills and soaring up into the clear rise the glittering peaks and dazzling snow of the towards the latter end of april about six months after old s death one burning afternoon the subject for a delightful little picture might have been found on the terrace up at the villa a low broad of stone and painted the same orange red as the house guards the terrace in front looking down over it there is a sheer drop of some five and twenty or perhaps thirty feet into the below at this time the leaves were just breaking and a delicate veil of green spread itself over the face of the in the corner of the terrace away from the carriage drive with her back against a and somewhat smothered in and climbing roses sat a young girl she rested one elbow on the low wall by her side and held in the other hand a great red umbrella not one of those mean little scarlet that ladies affected so much some few years ago but a real honest peasant s umbrella big enough to shelter a whole family from sun or rain and decorated round the edge of it with a pattern woven in staring black and white and yellow the young lady was very simply dressed in a plain light cotton gown which had however an admirable air of freshness and in every fold and of it her figure was slight but delicately rounded and her face was charming not strictly beautiful perhaps for there were delightful touches of individuality about it which prevented its belonging to any and obvious order of female loveliness it was just that an entirely charming face bright out looking and with a sort of morning clearness upon it and an effect of which made one disposed to treat this young lady more as an attractive child than as a person who had already reached the tiresome period of life described as years of discretion her hair fair with golden lights and ruddy shadows in it was gathered up high at the back showing the shape of her head and curled prettily upon her forehead her complexion was fair a test of friendship too with a clear healthy tinge of red in her cheeks the nose a little uncertain in line but cut about the tip and small curved nostrils the mouth round and sweet though wanting in those generous curves about the lips which make some mouths so nobly beautiful her eyes a clear blue grey were set perhaps just a too near together still they were finely shaped and opened there was nothing too positive too definite in the girl s face her long and arched eyebrows were but a few shades darker than her bright hair altogether she was charming and charming too with that peculiar indescribable charm that belongs to certain women a quality not dependent on of physical beauty for its existence but a something and especially to the masculine sense which seems to from the whole person certain women have a singular power of establishing a relation i do not know how else to put it with almost every man they come across how it is done i cannot pretend to say for one may be very sensible of an effect and remain entirely unable to the cause of it only i fancy that every woman whose name has come down to us through the long centuries with a of magic about it so that the very sound of it makes the blood pulse more quickly must in some degree have possessed that strange power must have had it or town would never have suffered long sorrow and fire and final desolation all those gracious and noble ladies must have had it whose remembrance is for ever in the des du of thief and writer of verse of must have had it or never surely would and priests and princes have	32
listened so humbly to her d most moving if most of must have had it or m de would never have married her any more than would have broken his heart for her among the rocks above the blue lake at these and many more for the list would be a long one of potent and perilous names yes we had better forget them we sensible middle aged people and let them fade away into the great unknown along with the of y year in saying all this i do not for a moment desire to imply that there was anything very wonderful extraordinary or epoch making about the girl sitting in the italian sunshine on the terrace up at the little red villa nor do i for a moment purpose to compare her with those queens of fiction life and legend whose memory comes over us with so dangerous a strength colonel en s wife the charm i have spoken of you in many and very different places it belongs exclusively to no one age or class or nation it may be found both in saint and sinner it may look out at you alike from the face of a s daughter bending over a steaming and wash tub and from that of a child in the class room of a modern and from that of some well bred and well known woman moving in the sacred circle of london or society still it is not very common perhaps fortunately all the same the plain steady common sense work of the world would hardly keep on quite so regularly if it was very common and it is only fair to add too that hundreds and thousands of women have been honoured highly and loved who possessed no trace of it it is a peculiar gift to chosen individuals it comes to them by nature and was never learnt nor taught of any yet only wherever you meet with it the colour grows richer and the pace faster and love laughs aloud with the hope of another victim and life either out before you strangely fair and deep and full or is stained for ever after with the memory of a great regret on the low red wall just beyond the shadow cast by the big umbrella sitting together in the sunshine was a good sized brown monkey a grotesque and sorrowful little figure curiously in contrast with that of the young girl centuries of disappointment and fruitless endeavour seemed to have wrinkled the loose skin on his forehead occasionally he reached round and scratched his back with one thin brown hand or made a fierce rapid at the small green that ran glittering up and along the sunny wall if the girl moved ever so slightly he looked round sharply at her with that quick of the eyebrows and gleam of the sad shrewd eyes which go to make a monkey s face so restless and painful the in the rose bushes while the green at the old away along the path to the left kept up the chorus by the of bells came down from one of the village churches on the above and the grate of wheels and cry of the came up from the crowded road below little playful winds swept across from the deep mountain valleys scattered a few loose of the roses on the and then wandered away out to sea and the charming girl sat dreaming looking lazily out over the brilliant scene from under the rosy shade of her red umbrella while the brown monkey beside her in the broad sunshine a test of friendship musing perhaps in perplexity of spirit on the many and wrongs of his strange half human race there seemed a pause a space of sweet sunny waiting up at the villa that afternoon the lights were lit and the curtain was up and the stage was set and ready when the rest of the actors come on about five o clock the young lady s lazy reverie was brought to a close by the rattling of a carriage up the steep road between the rose hedges and the grinding ot the loose gravel under its wheels as it drew up at the front door she had watched the carriage ever since it turned in at the iron gates off the high road had stretched herself a little and sat up with a growing expression of interest and vivacity in her pretty face she said leaning towards the monkey as she spoke i perceive that there has been a slight mistake your poor master is himself quite at railway station all this while his temper will be when he returns he will not be able to forgive himself for having been into committing a civility prepare yourself my dearest little beast she added there will shortly be remarkable in the situation the monkey gazed at her anxiously as though trying hard to understand he scratched his ugly little head wrinkled up his forehead and grinned rather the girl watched him attentively for a moment or two and then laughed gaily and softly as a child does with a delicious anticipation of coming amusement anything is delightful in the way of a change isn t it my excellent she said to the monkey colonel was a long suffering man as a rule he could put up with a large amount of discomfort but he had come to visit mrs pierce at the villa out of the purest sense of duty she was the widow of an old friend and the colonel had a high respect for the claims of friendship even in the second degree still it must be allowed that where duty is the sole motive power small are liable to take a very strong hold upon the imagination and as he got out of the carriage colonel certainly felt far from	32
he was choked with dust and with the blazing afternoon sun he had left his travelling companion seated over the of an excellent luncheon in the shaded hall of a the thought of smoking peacefully in that cool and stately place had been distinctly he could colonel en s wife have found it in his heart to use some rather forcible expressions concerning these few miles of road out from he was prepared to state on oath if necessary that they were simply the most hot arid ugly and generally miles of road in the known world the italian coachman rang the bell and then casually on the door with the handle of his whip to hurry the servants within but no sound was audible indoors bells apparently were answered with truly artistic deliberation at the little red villa colonel stamped his feet to settle his trousers down over his boots and beat himself a little with his gloves to get some of the pale dust off his coat looking rather gloomy and injured all the while it was extremely unpleasant to him to be otherwise than absolutely neat and clean he glanced at the pair of small carriage horses who stood with heads hanging wearily down and streaming then he turned impatiently to the door again nuisance it is waiting he said i suppose this is the right house why on earth don t they answer the bell looking up as he spoke he became aware for the first time of the presence of the young lady who stood watching him from the other side of the terrace he was conscious of a slight shock of surprise and of a sincere hope that she might not have overheard his hasty observation he lifted his hat and keeping it in his hand passed round in front of the horses heads and walked across the terrace towards her the girl too came a few steps forward her light cotton gown showed a rosy red in the shade of her big umbrella her eyes were very bright and she was smiling it was a smile not easily forgotten brilliant irresistible delicious to look at and liable to retain a prominent place subsequently in the mental vision as she came forward the monkey scrambled down off the wall and followed her seizing the folds of her dress with his long narrow hands for support he angrily at the carriage and the approaching stranger his queer countenance distorted with emotion meanwhile the good looking italian driver leaning lazily against the nearest of his smoking horses laughed and made at the poor little creature exciting him to a painful pitch of impotent fury colonel said the girl looking up at him and still smiling i am afraid you have altogether forgotten me i am so sorry indeed it to being a little humiliating for me for a test of friendship i have the most perfect recollection of yoa you were always so kind to me philip felt slightly embarrassed he was not accustomed to be greeted after this fashion by unusually pretty young ladies since the far days of his experience in the matter of women s society had neither been very large nor very intimate he had an almost reverence for the sex such a reverence as cynical persons are wont to say can only be maintained at the expense of the presence of accurate knowledge there was a frankness in the young lady s expression and a graceful self possession in her manner however which the colonel found he answered her slowly perhaps a trifle stiffly yet he could not help smiling too her face in its expression had such a i ought to know you though nine years have made a good deal of it must be owned you are miss pierce the girl laughed and put up her eyebrows with a little air of and regret oh yes she said nine years make a lamentable difference of course they change simple into elaborate miss pierce and they put and out of the question that last is especially trying for me i am just as fond of as ever your taste in was not well how shall i say it exactly professional colonel but in i found it there was a and distinctness in miss pierce s which one frequently remarks in english persons who are constantly in the habit of speaking a foreign language her words did not run into each other in the fashion too common even among our well bred and highly educated they seemed to stand apart and each maintain a full and separate value this little has something both pretty and to the attention in it philip quiet serious middle aged man as he was felt delicately amused and interested in the charming young creature before him it is very strangely pleasant as one gets on in years and the glory of the day grows pale to meet with something as fresh and gay and fearless as this girl to the colonel there was a touch of pathos in her radiant she struck him as a charming child even now and he answered her little speech with a certain smiling gravity we might manage the still i dare say if you wish it colonel s wife h she cried thank you i have yet then something to live for and you are doubly welcome to tell the truth we have been slightly wanting in and animation lately here at the villa your arrival is every way agreeable we have wanted something to change the current of our thoughts colonel bowed his recognition of this observation but mamma will be impatient to see you the young lady continued and meanwhile will you kindly discharge that intolerable driver who is nearly sending our poor into fits by at him then we will come indoors please ah there is she will tell you what to	32
pay that wretched driver they always it is their recognized system is the only member of this establishment who can manage them the person indicated a tall hard woman stood in the doorway delivering herself of a series of short observations in curiously bad italian is to take colonel s things down to his hotel later miss she said looking sharply at philip and addressing his companion mrs pierce is waiting lor you in the drawing room s taken in tea the colonel assisted whether he would or no by who indulged in biting comments on the of in general and cab drivers in particular finally succeeded in satisfying the demands ol the coachman then the long whip cracked and the tired little horses jerked up their heads and the carriage rattled away down the steep road between the pink in the southern sunshine shall we come indoors now asked she closed her umbrella and picking up in her arms turned towards the house as she did so colonel was sensible of a quick movement of almost of disgust surely you are not going to carry that monkey he said hastily here let me take it oh no he would perhaps bite you she replied and that would be such an unfortunate beginning to your visit he is very with strangers but i often carry him when his master my cousin is not at hand don t i colonel could offer no further objection yet somehow he did not at all like it perhaps it was the result of a long night journey through from paris perhaps he had got standing talking on the terrace without his hat but he was undoubtedly aware of a strange and decidedly disagreeable sensation a test of friendship as he passed from the glow and splendour of colour and sunshine outside into the dim chill entrance hall of the villa it seemed to him as if somewhere else long long ago all this had happened before he knew it was a foolish absurd fancy and it annoyed him yet surely it was not the first time he had followed the graceful flitting figure of this young girl up the cold white marble staircase while the weird face of the still chattering and but half monkey grinned back at him over her shoulder chapter h pierce s widow the villa is a plain house it has seen its best days and everything about it has grown a little tumble down and the present owner is only too happy to let the upper of rooms to any family italian or foreign with a taste for quiet and economy which can be induced to rent them while the surroundings of the house are left pretty much to their own devices subject to a up on the part of the peasant who looks after the and below it is a decidedly plain house the ground floor on either side the front door has but a couple of heavily windows in it and is given over to and chilly store rooms opening into a central hall above is a low with ugly little square windows overlooking the terrace and above again are two floors of large and rather handsome rooms the lower of these two opens at the western end on to the flat roof of a building originally no doubt designed for a coach house and covered yard the roof is supported on an of arches and massive square pillars and covers quite a considerable area of ground the house with the said building or is painted as has already been stated a deep orange red the windows have outside wooden shutters to them originally a vivid blue in colour but now by the action of the rain and sun and sea wind to a dull tint beyond the house on the same level as the terrace and divided from it by a wooden is a square flower garden a neglected wilderness of a place a mere of roses and other shrubs with lilies and below them straggling about the ill kept beds as they please some trees are trained against the back wall colonel s wife facing the southern sun and in the centre of the garden where the four gravel paths meet stands a of not orange trees on the low red boundary wall are large pots of fantastic shapes containing plants of tall sword immediately behind the house rises a cliff up which a light iron staircase leads from the back of the to the above higher is a slope of coarse grass the rising ground being crowned with a thick little wood of oak and fir with the monkey in her arms went quickly upstairs and crossing the landing threw open the tall narrow doors of the drawing room mamma she said in her clear detached tones here is colonel he has driven out all the way from the inside of the little red villa is in harmony with the exterior it too has seen its best days the room into which the colonel found himself ushered by his charming guide was long and high with a and richly painted ceiling the two southern windows were shaded with half closed shutters and red blinds while the one at the far end of the apartment draped like the others with faded yellow curtains stood wide open on to the flat roof beyond the sun in through it filled the air with warm mellow light there was an effect of worn out splendour about the room the covers of the large and chairs showed and at the points of greatest contact the plentiful of tables and was a good deal but the glorious sunshine streaming in enriched and it all even the marble floor but covered with looked only agreeably cool in the glowing atmosphere mrs pierce with both hands outstretched and a considerable rustling of full black silk and skirts came rapidly	32
across the room to greet her guest ah my dear friend she exclaimed this is indeed a pleasure how very good it is of you to come to me colonel bowed over the handsome woman s hands as he held them you are too kind he answered gallantly i engaged long ago always to obey your summons i know i know you promised but it is a long time ago it is so long too since we have met at all that i really to trouble you the more so perhaps because you have been very to me in the past people say i am that i demand too much those are odious you know a test of friendship they make one nervous of asking a service from even one s best friends at times mrs pierce put up one hand and pushed back rather impatiently the folds of the black lace which was fastened across her dusky hair and hung down softly about her shoulders i have been in great perplexity she said your visit is most welcome she spoke rapidly and there was a ring of sincerity almost of enthusiasm in her reception of him in which a man than philip might have found occasion for a pleasant sense of luckily however he was not given to of personal vanity he supposed the lady s pecuniary affairs were in it had happened more than once before now and that she wanted him to set them straight for her he possessed a very romantic reverence for in the mass but all the same he was satisfied to take up an extremely practical position with regard to this lady he had no sentimental after relations of an intimate or character and yet pierce at two and thirty with her well set head pure oval face and luminous brown eyes greeting her guest so in the pale faded room at the villa was unquestionably a woman whom you might easily have been excused for desiring to improve your acquaintance with she was tall with a fine figure and stately carriage her black hair had none of that greasy on it which too often makes black hair anything but a beauty her complexion was it is true but her skin was even in tone and delicate in texture she looked like a woman who loved an life and warm fragrant atmosphere there was a richness of suggestion so to speak and an intensity about her such as usually go with mental and social rather than with physical activity the colonel was aware that his hostess s course had been a slightly original and one otherwise listening to her speech and noting her rather stormy beauty he might very well have wondered a little why this striking looking young woman had elected to shut herself up with her step daughter in the solitude of a quiet country house you are not the least altered she went on moving back a step or two and looking at her guest carefully i wonder whether that is good news or not answered philip smiling he was a trifle put about by this attentive scrutiny undoubtedly it is good news laid her hand lightly on colonel s arm colonel en s wife you have come and i am very grateful there is the whole matter now let us have some tea you must be tired after your long journey come and sit down comfortably i am so dirty remarked the colonel as he followed his hostess up the long room he had been wishing to make this apology from the moment he came in i am really ashamed of appearing before you in this state stopped a moment and turned to him the same little as of old about dust colonel she said ah that reminds me of so much during the foregoing conversation the girl had been standing aside watching her two companions with a gay little air of interest and amusement now she moved away and stepped out on to the mamma is going to have reminiscences she murmured we will retire and return at a more convenient season dear child called mrs pierce after her remember the sun have you got a hat the is up answered girl looking back and smiling brightly less perhaps at her step mother than at philip and the sun never affects me i am going to watch for poor we thought you would come straight to by train said to him i did not like your arriving there and finding no one to receive you i my cousin mr to go and meet you she sat down by the tea table and began the cups and a silence fell on her and for a few moments she appeared to be somewhat of the presence of her guest philip sat down in the nearest chair crossed his legs and slowly pulled first one side and then the other of his thick moustache with the thumb and forefinger of his left hand in a meditative fashion several things in the course of the last hour had surprised him a little he did not feel quite at home with his new circumstances as mrs pierce handed him his she looked up with a sudden change of expression what do you think of my step daughter she asked the question was so wholly unexpected that colonel paused for a moment before answering it during that brief pause he was sensible of the clear tones of the girl s voice talking half to the monkey came in along with the sunshine at the open window a test of friendship i think that your step daughter has grown into a very beautiful person he said at last with a certain seriousness ah you too cried his hostess perhaps there was the faintest of irritation in her manner any way she did not upon the subject she talked	32
on pleasantly enough about less personal matters friends in england the colonel s journey and so forth for some minutes then asked one or two questions about s last illness about and the disposition of the property it seems to me you have been very badly used colonel she said at last and i suppose with your usual generosity you submitted to be without a single protest the colonel smiled he was not accustomed to the of sympathy or the of feminine statement they struck him both as amusing and violent that is rather a hard way of putting it you know he answered he did not particularly enjoy discussing his private affairs with mrs pierce or any one else for that matter my father had a perfect right to leave his property as he liked he knew that i was provided for under my poor mother s will but then there is a recognized custom in these things you must have always expected to possess the place eventually you must have looked forward to it dreamed about it taken it for granted no it seems to me a wretched injustice hardly as bad as that said the colonel he wanted to take the matter as lightly as possible ive wandered about the world too much to be fit to settle down at my age into a regular country squire at least that is what my father thought no doubt and quite reasonably too of course being so much out of england i have lost touch of a whole lot of things it was inevitable now my brother has been on the spot all the time he knows all about the place and so is much more fitted for that sort of life than i am he s a capital fellow added colonel heartily he s a first rate farmer and and a useful man too in the county he s got a lot of common sense then he s married you know and has a family and that of course makes a difference i really can t see that it makes the smallest difference looked up at him very prettily a man at your age specially perhaps in your profession is in the prime of life you haven t taken a vow of i suppose you may marry too colonel s wife colonel shook his head he looked at his boots he smiled but with no cheerfulness no no i shall never marry my dear madam he answered quietly at this moment came in at the open window has arrived she said he has driven back he will certainly be very cross i am sorry remarked philip getting up and setting down his that i should have given mr all this unnecessary trouble turned to him with the most dainty and air of amusement certainly she was admirably pretty don t be sorry it does not in the least signify is rather grateful in his heart of hearts to any one who will supply him with a legitimate excuse for ill temper he being the girl made a graceful little outward gesture with her two hands like that you know slightly ill used and injured you are malicious spoke sharply and her face darkened the young lady rested her hand for a moment lightly on her step mother s shoulder what could i say little mamma she asked it was a choice between colonel s peace of and poor s reputation there was a sound of footsteps on the stairs the monkey gave an odd sharp cry and ran quickly in at the open window and across the room it looked even more grotesque and perhaps when it subsided into a mere animal and went honestly on all than when it stood or sat upright with an assumption of discreet and human attitudes as the door opened the monkey sprang off the floor into the arms of the young man who entered making as it did so strange caressing noises poor little i said mr as he and the creature he came on slowly into the room looking rather hard at colonel meantime ah you have arrived then he continued i have had the misfortune of missing you somehow philip did not relish being taken so entirely for granted he would have preferred a more formal and regular mode of introduction i am afraid he said stiffly that i have given you a lot of unnecessary trouble a test of friendship no no answered the other man pray don t mention it it didn t matter it passed the time you know and that after all is as much as the most interesting occupation can do for one really mr judging by his appearance was in age something over thirty he was a good looking young gentleman with a dark pale and rather sleepy face short pointed black beard and moustache and black eyebrows nearly meeting above the nose and running up a little at the ends he was dressed with elaborate precision in the latest english fashion but an indescribable touch of in the cut of his garments made the colonel pretty sure an italian tailor must be after all responsible for the production of them in his button hole mr wore an extremely fine white give me some tea instantly dear cousin he said languidly into a large and addressing mrs pierce i conclude you drove out from he added looking towards colonel it was that his voice was singularly full and sweet while his dark eyes were nearly as mournful as those of the monkey on his knee the colonel admitted briefly that he had driven out from it is a road said mr very gently three of sugar dear please you always forget my number and a lump for too please there there quietly my poor lamb let us avoid unnecessary violence he	32
went on as the monkey snatched chattering at the piece of sugar she held out to it philip did not stay very late at the villa that evening he parted from his hostess on the terrace the italian cook in a white linen jacket blue trousers and very smoking cap with a large pair of gold spectacles a ferocious grey moustache and the air of a distinguished at least stood in the doorway holding the colonel s travelling bag and bundle of and waiting to show him the way down to the hotel at the sky in which the stars and moon shone with a cold steady radiance stretched a vast dome of purple black over land and sea the waves and murmured on the beach far below the of innumerable came from the away among the of warm air laden with rich scent of orange and blossom swept round the house from the tangled garden beyond up at one of the villages on is rs wife n the side there was a and every house was with rows of candles each window ledge gleaming and twinkling faint and yellow the de air the of and and lay with moonlight and blotted with black shadow good night my dear friend said h pierce she held the colonel s hand in both hers and looked at him with a strangely restless appealing expression in her fine eyes i don t know how to thank you enough for coming to me i shall expect you early to morrow i have so much to talk over with you to night i would not trouble you but i need your help checked herself abruptly sauntered out from the house and stood beside her cousin he said in his rich soft voice you and will catch au the in the world out here without any the night is romantic no doubt but unfortunately it is also chilly girl treated colonel to one of her brilliant smiles as she bade him good bye au she said and the shall i really have them looking back when he had gone half way down the carriage road to the iron gates colonel could still see mr and they stood together side by side on the terrace in the pale moonlight a black and a white one suddenly the young girl s laugh rang out clear and sweet through the silence ah truly our is an angel said devoutly it will be a sad day for the red villa when madame her daughter chapter in which the colonel takes stock of his position it appeared to mr who had followed his friend out from that he waited a very long while for colonel in the smoking room of the grand hotel at that evening the good gentleman s mind was not it must be of the order which willingly and on itself solitude and meditation had never struck him as or in any degree inspiring there was indeed nothing like about mr s appearance but rather a certain light and quality which made him suggestive of an elderly but still a test of friendship able butterfly with diligence he was wont to flutter from amusement to amusement killing time and with admirable gaiety of heart he was a constant out he liked balls garden parties and generally he hunted with the hounds from the beginning of november till the end of march took rooms in one of those knowing little streets off for june and july j found himself among the purple stretches of the scotch or by the side of some salmon river in august paid a round of visits in pleasant country houses with a view to shooting in september and october and settled down again for the serious business of the winter in his capital little bachelor establishment at in time for the third meet of the season which as everybody knows is held at april and may were off months so to speak with mr he was very grateful to any one who would suggest to him an method of passing them and when this year his old and valued friend philip had proposed a run on the continent mr accepted the idea with alacrity and enthusiasm he had a pretty little taste in pictures and music of the lighter sort and as the home of the arts he cherished a great kindness for italy it seemed to him rather clever and up to the mark to visit that profoundly picturesque country now and again he liked to be able to say when i was in rome in or when i was on my way to in it sounded well and served to impress some fair neighbour at a provincial with the notion that she had the honour of sitting by a travelled and intelligent man of the world who might be expected to look at life generally from a comprehensive and and it must be owned that even now though in the central region of his person though grey about the moustache and whiskers though bald yes bald on the crown of his head which rose white and shining above a thick of even now mr was penetrated with a constant desire to impress and the members of the opposite sex his vanity in this matter was he professed a deep and searching knowledge of feminine peculiarities and being in point of fact an eminently modest and person loved to represent himself as a terrible a very don of a fellow full of perilous and as as gun cotton when colonel at last entered the smoking room that evening mr received him with a lively sense of colonel en s wife tion he laid down the meagre pages of from which he had been vainly to extract some small amount of mental with an air of evident relief and applied himself vigorously to conversation not half a bad	32
place this he said and really they gave us a first rate dinner they re trying to work the hotel into popularity just now you see it being quite new and good feeding pays as an advertisement there are a very tidy set of people here too take em all round a very effective looking russian woman just opposite to me at table this evening i wished i d been nearer to her you must observe her to morrow upon my word she s worth looking at the everlasting english parson here of course little red haired fellow this time with a face like a he s got his wife and a couple of sisters i take them to be by their looks with him very plain well meaning sort of people you know the english all seem to me pretty fair but there are half a dozen greedy noisy ill dressed lot i must say i came over just after you know and the were offensive enough then in all conscience but this last war has regularly them they can t forget it even now their is disgusting exclaimed mr simply disgusting he threw himself back on the broad orange and black covered fitted against the wall of the room brutes he said under his breath and then fell to humming a gay air from de madame to restore his colonel meanwhile sat himself down in an angle of the afore mentioned which along with a few marble tables and a generous supply of and constituted the entire furniture of the lofty light coloured room his sympathies being by no means strongly he ignored the subject of his friend s discourse and applied himself to matters nearer home i m glad you like the place he said should you mind staying on here a day longer it seems that mrs pierce wants to talk over some business matters with me to morrow probably i shan t be of the slightest use to her but i must listen at all events and she on our both dining there to morrow night you won t mind eh delighted i m sure replied the other man cordially about here in the morning you know and just run into in the afternoon while you re busy colonel was not in particularly good spirits he lighted his cigar and sat smoking in silence staring vaguely at the well laid floor between his feet a test of friendship mr however wanted to talk he with madame with increasing vivacity and at last no longer able to contain himself embarked in an inquiry well and how did you find mrs pierce he asked i only saw her once years ago good looking woman and promised to improve i don t know that she has altogether fulfilled that promise observed the colonel but as far as looks go she s handsome enough still mr about again for a minute or so well and what about the little girl he inquired lightly oh she s grown up as little girls will pretty very pretty said philip with a certain in his tone few things are more to your thorough paced gossip than to be answered in this poverty stricken sort of fashion but was not easily put off he returned to the charge anybody else there he asked after a time colonel raised his eyes with a questioning expression where he said oh at the villa yes a nice gentle little person in grey who put in an appearance at dinner dame de i suppose and an ugly monkey and a cousin of mrs pierce s a young man the colonel back and crossed his legs i didn t quite fancy the young man somehow he added presently ah one rarely does fancy the young man you know when one s getting well on towards fifty remarked mr with a chuckle well i shall turn in now i think and i strongly recommend you to do the same nothing like a good night s rest for bringing one round after a long journey you know philip however did not take the excellent advice thus offered him he sat up rather late more than once the head waiter clothed in black with a over his arm and flat tired feet looked in to see if the english colonel had not at last retired so that he might put out the gas and go to bed himself had a noble head and pale finely face set in a frame of crisp black beard and crisp black hair suggestive of some and world weary roman emperor in point of fact his soul was more in harmony with his feet than with his imperial head it was a common patient unimportant soul quite capable of thrilling into ecstasy over a tip of five the mark of a history and civilization has stamped itself colonel s wife in royal characters on so many italian faces behind which there really is nothing at all except slightly amiable looked in at the smoking room door saw colonel was still there and went humbly away again to in silence and loneliness among his table glasses and philip sat and smoked and thought or rather for when men of the type are not engaged about some practical matter they can hardly be said to think their mental processes are chiefly i fancy not so much a matter of words and ideas as of scenes and impressions the gas burned with a yellow unsteady light revealing very fully the of the room in the corridor just beyond mr s enemies the lively not to say party of were playing cards and indulging freely in those strange and that form such an part of german conversation his surroundings were far from romantic and yet the pictures which presented themselves to philip s mind were undoubtedly touched with the delightful finger	32
of romance the events of the afternoon had stimulated his memory to a remarkable degree he seemed to see poor good looking beau pierce once more as he lay tossing on his narrow camp bed through the long hours of semi nights half wild with fever and exhaustion crying tears of impotent misery and weakness and about his young wife and his darling little whom he would never see again philip had been with poor beau when he died and had promised with the natural to such a moment to look after the dying man s wife and child he had kept his promise too with perhaps unusual for that same of the beside the death bed down sensibly as a rule after the funeral and what was originally embraced as a sacred duty appears too often later as something allied to a bore but philip had really applied his mind to helping his friend s widow he had extracted her from a father in law had advised her successfully regarding her affairs on several occasions had rather a gift for getting into what are called tight places and had held himself ready at all times to come to her if she should send for him for the last few years their relation had been a less intimate one it is true yet the colonel had never regarded himself as released from his old engagement the finished their game they got up with a sound of loud talk and laughter a of chairs and clatter of on the marble floor looked in for a tired a test of friendship s but in whatever state of things might be revealed to him but philip sat still on the orange and black his l s crossed his steady blue eyes staring at nothing in particular a queer smile about his lips and the stump of his cigar fading from crimson heat to grey ash between his fingers a fair young face smiled at him from under a great red umbrella and a light slender figure flitted before him in the gloom of a wide dusky and merry mocking words wandered in through a sunny window a hundred dainty little movements and charming glances forced themselves on his remembrance and all the while with ancient countenance a monkey grinned and at him and a young man well no not a young man exactly but a decidedly younger man than colonel stood by mournful cynical and it must be owned most good looking into the bargain the colonel sat up and shook himself he did not half like his own his state of mind was decidedly and it worried him then his thoughts wandered back to his old love yes he had been true to her very true on the whole even when it was quite useless to be so a certain tenderness came over him even now whenever he thought of her ah how different things might have been if he had married her years ago and if in due time had come to him philip had visions of himself prosperous settled in life with a wife who had become a sort of second self to him and a troop of growing boys and girls around him hunting three or four times a week riding over on board days to going to church on sunday busy with pleasant homely matters building good cottages giving away beef and to the wives at christmas wandering about on nice dull mornings with a in his hand and seriously because there were so many in the turf on the he sighed yes notwithstanding his made to mrs pierce a few hours before t a was the hfe he was really cut out for ordinary sensible and responsible touched with kindly humour and backed with dignified comfort is not such an easy matter after all you may fast of your own free will and not because you are compelled to but you will feel as hungry for the food you deny yourself as for food that is denied you colonel had forgiven his father he no grudge against his younger brother but he was not very cheerful all the same he got up and took one or two turns up and down the room then moved by a sudden impulse he stood still in front of one of the and took a good long honest look at himself colonel s wife the impression he received was not an encouraging one somehow was right he said a little tm nearly fifty it s all very well but there are a number of things you must do before then if you re going to do them at all i feel as if a little fighting would be rather a comfort just now he added the colonel moved across to the table again and picked up his cigar case and box of better go to bed i m out of sorts i think to night the day after to morrow we ll go on to mrs pierce will have said her say by then i suppose just outside the door he nearly ran into yawning but mild and still clinging to his philip was struck with sudden he said a few civil words to the man about having kept him up so late bowed and smiled faintly a well bred if caesar we are accustomed he remarked vaguely the german gentlemen have but lately finished i wait to see to the gas and with shuffling footsteps he passed along into the empty smoking room chapter iv le des for reasons which he would have found it difficult to define philip put off his visit to the villa next day till the afternoon he did his best to maintain a very british and frame of mind accompanied by that lively and self important little man mr he the not very	32
promising town of in the morning looked in at the lofty painted church and pronounced it lingered for a few minutes at the great straggling station and remarked with a grain of contempt how and all italian railroad arrangements appeared to be down on the grey beach in the brilliant sunshine watching the great blue green come in in endless succession and break in hollow thunder and snowy foam at his feet and declared he had seen a ten times finer ground sea on the west coast of england the colonel was sensible of a strong instinct of self protection at this juncture he felt the of a number of wholesome british pre a test of friendship the feeling amused him even while he recognized its wisdom about half past two o clock he arrived at the little red villa the sky was absolutely clear and the whole place seemed to sleep in the rich glowing sunshine the front door stood open on to the terrace philip rang waited rang again and then getting bored both with the delay and the heat went indoors and upstairs the drawing room door stood open too from within came the sound of a piano some one was playing brilliantly almost a there is an indescribable pathos in dance music everybody knows it a behind all the laughter a weariness below all the rapid movement a question a doubt a under all the radiance and joy colonel did not quite care to acknowledge the penetrating sentiment of the music just then he knocked at the door as no servant was visible and then walked straight into the room as he did so the sank away into a tender passage pierce was at the piano apparently she was absorbed in her own performance her pretty head was thrown back and her light figure showed up with a very telling distinctness against the shaded corner of the room beyond the instrument in a low chair by her side mr slowly cutting the pages of a yellow french novel and whistling the air of the softly as he did so at the sound of colonel s footsteps he looked up ah i he said gently the young girl looked round too she got up quickly and came forward her face with one of those delightful smiles you are very late she said did you get tired of us all last night we expected you to luncheon at half past twelve but perhaps you did well in not coming you would have found and me alone miss has gone into mamma has one of her and is invisible mr meanwhile rose slowly from his chair i hope they gave you decent rooms he observed in his sweet voice i spoke beforehand i did what i could i was assured that you would be treated en prince but a hotel keeper s business is to tell one lies you know i did very well thanks colonel answered rather then he turned to again and made one or two and civil inquiries respecting her colonel s wipe ah mamma s are very distressing she said they are nervous when they come on mamma she entirely as for us we are very sorry of course but we have grown accustomed to it we wait till she and then we proceed as usual suffers at times too she added but he doesn t disappear he remains and i have to amuse him in that case mr is hardly deserving of much pity said philip the young lady was really very as she stood there looking with a sort of mischievous innocence from one of her companions to the other i am to be pitied though a good deal sometimes she answered is not easy to entertain he becomes tired of everything he says he has got beyond it he has a most beautiful voice colonel but he will never sing now he says he has got beyond that the phrase is odious to me the girl spoke with some warmth mr went on quietly cutting the pages of his novel my dear little cousin he said your experience of life is as yet happily for you very limited i will preach you a little sermon oh pray don t said quickly putting up her eyebrows i have the most lively objection to sermons i know he answered for an english girl your education has been neglected in that particular but if you knew more of the world you would be vividly aware that the chief business of a reasonable being consists in getting beyond things ask colonel he added glancing up suddenly if he is not conscious of having got beyond a whole number of things by now have you said almost seriously the whole spirit of the conversation was distasteful to philip he had taken a dislike to mr who struck him as and at moments even offensive with his languor and his and his over delicate manner the question too reminded him with distinctness of his unsatisfactory with the looking glass in the smoking room the night before he paused a moment before answering the girl repeated her question looking in his face all the while with curious yes he said rather sadly i m afraid i have got beyond a good many things too miss pierce ah dear me she sighed what a pity still she stood gazing at him the colonel felt himself singularly moved by that lingering inspection a test of friendship laughed gently i told you so he said the law is of universal application see it holds equally good in the case of myself and colonel if i may venture in passing to associate my obscure name with his illustrious one everybody gets beyond everything to put it i am almost past this last novel of s and the day will come when a new gown even one from paris wiu	32
cease to give you any very active satisfaction no no no cried the girl her pretty eyes filled with tears and she moved two or three steps away from him and nearer to the colonel don t say don t spoil it all i it isn t true she cried say it isn t true she went on turning to colonel so close to him that he perceived quite strongly the scent of a little bunch of grey which she wore in the bosom of her dress tell me it isn t true tell me i shall always go on enjoying things i enjoy them so much now don t let make me miserable at this moment philip stood undoubtedly in need of all those self instincts which he had sought to cultivate earlier in the day the situation was a slightly dangerous one for an instant he was tempted to do an exquisitely silly thing he was tempted to gather this pretty appealing child into his strong arms and swear an oath by the way quite impossible to keep that neither mr nor any one else should ever give her a moment s distress again fortunately however most people only do a of the foolish things they are tempted to do colonel drew himself up he even moved a little farther away his heart may have beat rather quick for the moment but that he could not prevent he glanced at who easily on the top of the piano and watched him with a suspicion of lurking amusement in the expression of his handsome face my dear young lady he said quietly if people get discontented and miserable they have generally only themselves to thank for it in the long run one need never except through one s own fault get beyond enjoying the things which are really worth most in life there was a pause after the colonel had thus made his confession of faith then mr observed but so mildly and that it was impossible to be very wrath with him pardon me but i wonder whether you really believe that just at this moment mrs pierce into the room colonel en s wipe closely followed by the austere form of bearing cushions de and various et ah colonel she said with a certain weariness of manner which was not without its charm i have been expecting you why didn t you come earlier as she spoke looked rather hard at the colonel erect serious even a trifle savage at the young girl with her flushed face and still misty eyes and lastly at leaning on the top of the piano her expression changed sensibly and she spoke perhaps with a of for rapidity and decision you may take all those things back into the little drawing room again please i am not very well to day not equal to much she continued addressing philip still i cannot afford to waste the precious hours of your visit i should like to have some quiet talk with you colonel will you come with me into my it is cooler there and we shall be alone then she placed her hand on her step daughter s shoulder and said you look tired take a book and go to your own room and rest and me inquired mr gently and me cousin in your scheme of universal benevolence am i to be left out in the cold or will you kindly devise a suitable occupation for me also turned to him with a flash in her eyes you can ring for the monkey she said briefly ah just so the idea is an admirable one i too am provided for thanks i may ring for the monkey mrs pierce looked at philip let us come she said as she moved towards the door the colonel followed her across the landing to another room though inwardly he was just a shade reluctant to do so he liked plain sailing a simple straightforward manner of conducting life and he began to suspect that plain sailing was by no means the custom of this slightly eccentric household he was becoming conscious that a good deal was going on around him which he could not and he did not in the least enjoy it when mr was alone he subsided into the deep again cousin becomes he said half aloud if philip was already on the look out for cross currents and sunken rocks and shifting winds his talk with his hostess that afternoon was by no means calculated to him a test of friendship the preparations for it in the way of smelling bottles and cushions were alone suggestive of embarrassing possibilities to a man unused to the habits and of then too an effect of restlessness of hardly repressed emotion which was in mrs pierce s manner perplexed him in a way he was a little afraid of this stormy handsome woman in her present mood she struck him as likely to make strange and prove somewhat if they were not complied with mentally he repeated his decision of leaving on the morrow after some conversation as to his plans where he was going and what he proposed to see said with a certain solemnity in her tone colonel you mustn t suppose i asked you to put yourself out of the way and come here to see me on some merely frivolous pretext i want you to be so good as to give me your advice in a difficult and delicate matter there are reasons which seem to give you a claim in this question you were my husband s best friend and so in this case i instinctively turn to you will you permit me to speak quite freely the colonel assented courteously enough what else could he do yet he was sensible of growing discomfort the room was cool but	32
the shut and darkened windows produced an effect of it was sweet too with the scent of flowers and his hostess with her serious intense face sitting on the old fashioned sofa opposite to him made a sufficiently telling and graceful picture but philip refused to be impressed perhaps he was suffering a reaction after his moment of keen feeling in the drawing room just before he was not in quite a sympathetic attitude of mind and yet his loyalty to his old brother in arms made him wish to be to mrs pierce if he could i have great confidence in your judgment she went on i cannot trust myself i can t be as as i want to be but i can trust you colonel think of all i owe you as it is pray don t say that he interrupted your husband was my very dear friend i have merely tried to pay very a debt i owed to the dead the colonel paused his expression was pathetic modest charming as he looked across at her was a person of quick she had a very high respect for her companion she felt too at this moment that a dividing wall was so to speak broken down between them and that they had moved several steps nearer to each other in intimacy o colonel s wipe i know i know she returned warmly and it gives mt more confidence now i am horribly perplexed you must advise me tell me she went on speaking quickly tell me what shall i do with my step daughter with poor s child philip was startled good heavens mrs pierce what do you mean h don t me she answered i don t mean anything very extraordinary has reached an age when it becomes necessary to think of her future she is attractive she has had many admirers no doubt murmured philip almost involuntarily foreign ways are different to english ones you know parents here take a much more active interest in their children s prospects than is customary at home they look forward they consult with some chosen friend they decide on a course of action and carry it out the colonel began to see what was coming under other circumstances the position he was called upon so unexpectedly to occupy might have struck him as an amusing one but for some reason he was not in the least inclined to look at the question of s future from a humorous point of view he was moved to quite hotly any share in providing for the young lady s happiness you must pardon me he said in all business matters i am glad to be of service to you in any way i can but this question is altogether outside the range of my capacity i have not any for the part of adviser regarding your s future remember i had not seen her since she was quite a child till yesterday i know absolutely nothing of her tastes and inclinations any interference on my part would be simply grotesque philip back stiffly in his chair and looked away i am sorry but i must refuse to discuss this matter he continued it places me altogether in a false position surely some one else your cousin mr for instance is far better qualified to advise you than i am directly the words were out of his mouth philip regretted them it was odious to him to think of that languid young man having a hand in the fate of the pretty child who had implored him so passionately not to let make her miserable only half an hour ago the colonel felt as if he had been guilty of an act of treachery he was furious with himself his hostess too was perhaps a trifle at his very plain a test of friendship i refusal to do what she asked of him but outwardly she her displeasure i your feeling she said i half expected you would object at first and i respect you for doing so but we can t let the conversation end like this i must explain myself a little further at the risk of you i shall go on sat up she her elbow on the arm of the sofa and the carved of it rather as she spoke in mentioning mr you have touched the root of all my he is my second cousin he has been living with us off and on for the last two years s career has not been an altogether fortunate one he has had a good deal to endure one way and another i think she added with a ring of genuine feeling in her voice that i have been of some little help to poor colonel you must bear with me you must let me tell you about him but the colonel was growing decidedly he was suspicious of these confidences he began to distrust whither they might lead he wanted to cut the conversation short to go away to go out of doors to do anything in short but sit here listening in this sweet oppressive atmosphere you are tired mrs pierce he said getting up and standing before her don t you think it would be best to leave the story of mr troubles till to morrow morning till you are rested you would do me a real favour colonel if you would listen now she turned her face to him suddenly it seemed pale and haggard in the soft light pray pray listen now she went on speaking low and hurriedly clasping her hands and leaning forward with her eyes fixed on his face you are honest and true and i am horribly lonely i am in great distress i can t tell you altogether why you must take my word partly on trust perhaps i shouldn t have spoken	32
so soon but i am low and nervous to day i hate all that pitiless sunshine and glare and glitter outside it me i am getting worn out and i can t be cautious and any longer i have wanted some one to speak to for weeks and months of course all this seems weak excited ridiculous exaggerated to you but listen to me colonel not for my sake but for the sake of my dead husband who trusted you for his sake hear me out the colonel sat down again it was all very painful very colonel s wife unpleasant but it would be nothing short of brutal to leave a woman pleading for a hearing in that desperate way and philip was very far from being a brute thank you she said eagerly mrs pierce pressed her handkerchief hard against her lips she was altogether she had a choking sensation in her throat and for a few seconds was on the edge of an outburst of hysterical sobbing but she mastered herself by an effort of will which her companion could not help admiring she set her teeth gave herself a little shake and then began speaking again calmly s mother was an italian she said his father was a banker in i used to be with them a good deal years ago before i married however that s neither here nor there has money and no profession he fell wildly in love with a young italian lady of good family a distant connection of his mother s her parents had other views for their daughter they would not hear of it was not good enough for them i suppose they made his religion the objection it has always struck me as indeed a case of the irony of fate that poor dear of all people in the world should suffer in the cause of religion shifted her position slightly she avoided looking at colonel the young lady married as her parents desired her she did not pretend to care a rap for her husband she was a beautiful self willed creature i needn t go into particulars the story is not a pleasant one everybody knew what was happening sacrificed his youth to this unfortunate it has his whole life the lady still cares for him there have been terrible scenes at times but he no longer cares i think for her yet if her husband were to die he would marry her to morrow he believes he is bound in honour to do so s sense of honour is very fine raised her eyes with a movement of pride as she finished speaking for the life of him philip could not help smiling a little yes it is she cried with energy he no longer cares but he waits he will not think of any one else all his italian friends him as a very model of constancy she paused still looking up almost colonel cleared his throat he had disliked this young gentleman from the first and that fact probably made him somewhat merciless personal feelings themselves so a test of friendship into our judgments of others and offer on broad general principles such excellent for their existence that is a mistake on the part of mr friends he remarked a dull flush came into s cheeks yes from your point of view i dare say it is yet remember is more of an italian than an englishman the standards in these matters are different here but for the last few months i have been growing dreadfully anxious i have noticed i have feared that well that he was very much drawn towards he won t marry he will never marry any woman but the but colonel think think if comes to care for him colonel stood up all of a piece as the saying is send him away he said fiercely there is just that one thing to do send him out of the house directly mrs pierce flung back her hands wildly i can t i can t she cried anything in the world but that philip stared at her for a moment in dumb amazement she was pale and scared then as the meaning of her strange outburst began to dawn upon him he turned away half in pity half with a sense of the situation was painfully complicated also had risen to her feet there was a silence presently she spoke i have been mad she said hoarsely i have lost my head and betrayed myself i have put myself to shame before you colonel if you are a man of honour and i know you are that you will believe what i say now and then go away and blot my insane self out of your mind for ever does not dream of this nobody in the world knows it there was a fine dignity about the woman at that moment philip bowed silently words were obviously out of the question moved aside and began nervously arranging some cut flowers that stood on a dish on one of the tables the colonel s mind was penetrated with the remembrance of poor child her prospects all things considered seemed to him sufficiently melancholy again he felt a strong movement of pity of tenderness towards her it seemed frightful that this pure innocent gay young life should be bound up with the dark un history he had just been listening to he stood absorbed in thought if only something could be done to help her colonel en s wife left off the flowers and moved about the room impatiently with whatever sentiments of trust and confidence with whatever vague hope of possible assistance she had begun her interview with colonel at this moment in her hot shame and wounded pride she desired most cordially to be rid of him you leave here to	32
morrow i think you said she observed at last over her shoulder philip was not prepared for the question it forced him to come to a sudden decision no he answered slowly i think i shall remain here for a few days longer that is of course if you will permit me to do so there was a perceptible interval of silence before mrs pierce s answer came it will be delightful she said at last shall we come into the other room miss and the others will be there it seems to me rather oppressive here thank you i think i won t stay now he responded i rather want a walk i ll come back with my friend to dinner as the two friends were going down to the hotel that night mr suddenly stopped short in the wavering yellow light of one of the few gas lamps in the quaint painted main street of and looked full at his companion i don t half like leaving you behind somehow he said it s not merely the breaking up of our plans though of course i m sorry for that but i take for granted your reasons for staying are good enough and so i accept them without any fuss the good little gentleman moved on again with his quick walk i don t know what it is but hang it all i feel nervous about you philip laughed in a very cheery away you have a wonderful imagination he said why what on earth do you take it is going to happen to me i don t mind the observed the other man apparently rather i d trust her i think at bottom she s a good woman of course and all that sort of thing but i ll back her to be sound enough here mr himself heavily in the region of the heart sound enough here you know he repeated but that little girl upon my word somehow i fight uncommonly shy of that pretty little girl j test of friendship the colonel looked down he kicked the loose gravel on the walk of the hotel garden which they were just then crossing with his foot and laughed again but this time with slight annoyance a thousand to one he said you ll never set eyes on miss pierce again so really i don t think that very much matters chapter v suggests a remedy having once committed himself to of action it was colonel s habit to stand by it even when it failed on more mature consideration to commend itself very highly to his judgment inspired partly by his loyalty to pierce s memory partly by a quick pity for the two women whose position seemed to him such a critical and painful one philip had decided the evening before to stay on at he was going to stick to his post he was going somehow to see them through and yet when in the cheerless light of a very wet morning he bade farewell to kind little mr and saw the latter gentleman pack himself and his baggage into the rattling which was to convey him into philip became conscious that perhaps he had undertaken a very foolish piece of business it was all very well to talk of lines of action but the unfortunate thing was that he hadn t any line at all he could not see his way in the least he turned back into the large brightly painted hotel which looked particularly frivolous and on this gloomy morning in anything but a sweet temper he said to himself that the whole thing was a nuisance and that he had got himself into an awkward fix and it must be owned he said it with a will the colonel s temper was not improved when on forth some few hours later in a and heavy boots in defiance of the streaming rain he met mr just turning in at the gates of the hotel garden was holding up a large umbrella picking his way carefully along the pavement and looking mildly disgusted yet resigned he had on a very light overcoat and wore the inevitable white in his button hole a trifle brown at the edge of the fi om the wet he nodded to colonel i suppose you rather like this sort of weather it seems en s home like he observed with a sweet of expression which was by no means to a man in an irritable frame of mind two minutes before philip had felt no special objection to the rain the dull sky was really rather a relief after all that gaudy sunlight but for some reason as spoke his opinion went round to another quarter with all the of a on a day it s the most morning i ever saw he replied with considerable the whole place looks miserable it seems to me this country can only look decent in a blaze of sunshine mr smiled faintly yes i understand just what you mean he took a leisurely survey of the large hotel built round three sides of a square and coloured pink with splendid of stone and painted in pale yellow and the shadows they were fondly supposed to cast painted in pale green then he turned and gazed down the many coloured street behind him i understand perfectly what you mean he repeated it looks very like the inside of a theatre by daylight you english people dislike that it strikes you as artificial as for us we others prefer our theatre daylight or to anything else in the world it all appears to me very cheap and said colonel i can t think much of the beauty of a country when it can be spoilt by a few hours rain he glanced at the other man s clothes as he spoke mr	32
dress provoked him to day philip took great exception at his hat it was too low in the crown and too curled up at the sides just like a shop boy out for a sunday he said to himself as we have satisfactorily disposed of the country let us go on to the people resumed with much composure he found a delicate pleasure in keeping his companion standing here in the rain they remind me now very much of fowls on a wet day depressed and i felt so like a fowl myself this morning that i really had to come out i wanted to stand about on one leg with other fowls and make melancholy little noises there is a natural desire for communion among the wretched you know i feel much better since i have stood about here with you thia was going too far the colonel drew himself up a test of friendship i think i ll walk on he said and turning away passed rapidly down the dripping street he is a very good hearted after all i believe though he doesn t like me said to himself with as he picked his way across the hotel garden the british is a little too pronounced perhaps but poor man he can t help that i wonder what dear cousin really to do with him her power is startling at moments later that same day philip had a short conversation with which seemed to throw light on the situation the rain had almost ceased but the pale ragged clouds still hung low on the while the whole landscape seemed blotted in in cold tones of and grey the colonel had been for a long walk he had been trying hard to arrange his ideas to make out what was the next step he had take to stay and do nothing to mend matters at the red villa was out of the question and yet for the life of him he could not arrive at any distinct conclusion all his plans had been put out and he found himself in a dull little foreign town offering but small promise f occupation or entertainment to a man of his tastes with a difficult and delicate piece of on his hands the colonel felt himself to be a somewhat ill used person as he walked up to the front door of the villa that gloomy spring afternoon just as he was going to ring he heard his name called and round saw coming from the tangled garden beyond she was wrapped in a long cloak with the hood of it pulled up over her head the oval of her fair young face with a dark line there was something pensive in her expression the girl had gained an almost tragic interest in colonel s eyes since his conversation with her step mother her foes were those of her own household poor child it was sad altogether she struck him as a very appealing little figure standing there the dripping leaves and rain washed flowers in the dull afternoon light i am so glad you have come she said it has been a horrible day miss has had bad news from england she is going away to morrow to day she has done nothing but pack and cry has devoted herself to miss went out early he escaped that is the disadvantage of being a girl y il escape you must stay delivered herself of this statement of her small looking with pathetic frankness into philip s face colonel wipe i am wretched she went on turning away and pulling impatiently at a straggling rose spray which as she touched it sent a tiny of water on to the shining gravel below i want the sunshine i want to be amused at the risk of lowering the colonel in the opinion of all sensible readers i must admit that s outburst far from seeming silly or in his eyes touched him considerably unfortunately you see philip was not the hero of an admirable middle class fiction a person with and whose life is ruled by common sense and a lively of probable profit and loss and of the market value of a given article he was only a plain simple minded gentleman with a very tender heart under his stern manner and a vein of poetry and romance in his composition which at moments sadly the of his judgment alas there will always be men i fear in this singularly ill regulated world who never find a graceful girl more winning than when she that there are in her rose leaves or sheds charming little pearl like tears of desire for the moon or some other equally object i am very sorry you are wretched he answered it hardly seems fair does it wretchedness might keep itself for older and he hesitated a moment rather at a loss for the right word well different sort of people to you it does not seem quite appropriate at your age but i am i cannot bring back the sunshine for you philip paused he would have given a good deal to bring back the sunshine for this pretty child in more senses than the immediate and obvious one he felt rather fiercely towards mrs pierce at that moment he an accusation against her she wanted to get rid of the girl to serve her own purposes it was of her in thought he accused her of being a dangerous and woman looked up at him with charming i don t know that she said i believe you would do what you could i like you very much colonel philip like many light haired men retained even at eight a certain capacity for blushing there was undoubtedly a deeper tone than usual in his face as he answered as much as in the days of and quite as	32
much said promptly she drew the dark cloak more closely about her shoulders do you mind walking with me a little way she asked after a moment s hesitation it is so cold standing still a test of friendship the colonel did not mind it in the least he was very much interested in miss pierce and in her he did not attempt to conceal that fact from himself why should he her father had been his friend philip had refused rather hotly it is true to co operate with her step mother the day before but then that was before all the facts of the case were before him no man is quite consistent even the most among us can find excellent reasons for following our own inclinations anyhow it happened that on that damp and sombre afternoon colonel had a little walk with the young lady which tended to make hun entertain a much more amiable opinion of and its surroundings i thought the other day i should like to talk to you she had said when they were fairly started on the road leading down through the i want to ask you several things i think you have influence with mamma perhaps you could speak to her it is so dull here i want to go away mamma says she requires retirement but i don t in the least require i was much happier at we went into society at and was at he has been strange lately he says all sorts of things he is very melancholy he sits and at me a sense of relief came over philip he could not have said ly why do you mind very much being stared at he inquired looking at the girl by his side and smiling it is very to be stared at by somebody who looks dismal and does not speak she answered quickly is fond of reading scientific books about the origin of all sorts of things he firmly believes that we are all descended from i am inclined to think it must be true too sometimes for his eyes are exactly like s when he sits and and says nothing it is not pleasant the girl gave a little shudder and then went on speaking again that peculiarly distinct and clear cut utterance i wish mamma would go back to england she says it is too expensive and that the climate does not suit her but i want to see it english girls have so much more liberty they have so many amusements i should like england colonel stopped this struck him as rather a happy idea stopped too and turned to him they were standing beneath one of the crooked fir trees th carriage road about down to the iron gates colonel en s wife ah you want to go to england he said briefly yes i want immensely to go we could settle down and know people here everybody whom we know goes away sooner or later only and mamma and i remain you want me to ask mrs pierce to take you home to england said philip ah do do cried the girl softly but fervently she clasped her pretty white hands in an imploring manner while her long cloak flying back in a sudden gust of wind revealed her slim graceful figure colonel s heart warmed sensibly towards this charming young lady she confided in him with such engaging frankness he felt more at home with her too out of doors in the gloom and wet than in the lofty rooms and amid the faded of the little red villa i ll talk to mrs pierce he said after a moment s reflection i believe it would be an excellent i dare say i could be of some use to you find you rooms you know and that sort of thing then you might have a couple of months in london during the season and come down into afterwards your father he added gently was a man you would like to see his county wouldn t you whether it was the prospect of seeing poor beau pierce s native county or whether other and less floated before s eyes i cannot say but she certainly smiled upon her companion with a brilliant nd delighted smile ah i knew you would help me she said meanwhile philip went on we must try to make things a little more cheerful for you here let me see to day s thursday suppose you and mrs pierce come and dine with me at the grand hotel on saturday if it s fine there s a very nice opening out into the garden you know it wouldn t be exciting exactly but it would be a little change it would be delightful answered i like going out i like a i like the lights and the people moving about and the httle tables and the of the glasses and things philip smiled it touched him somehow there was a wonderful freshness and response in this young nature you have a great faculty for enjoyment he said with a certain tone of regret in his voice by contrast he felt very old at that moment the colonel who so far had accepted his increasing years with indifference and resignation was dimly conscious of entertaining a deepening grudge against them a test of friendship th rain is coming on again he continued after a minute s silence we d better walk back to the villa i mustn t let you get wet one moment cried the girl about england you must be a little careful how you approach mamma she may not like it you need not say that the suggestion came originally from me need you undoubtedly was very engaging just then her innocent flower of a face her sweet round mouth a little open her whole attitude questioning and eager you want	32
very much to go asked the colonel he watched the girl keenly yes yes dreadfully she replied very well i will do my best i will be a model of discretion but now we must turn back the rain be down on us in five minutes where have you been cried mrs pierce as her step daughter entered the chilly hall of the villa some ten minutes later we have been greatly alarmed about you and have been searching for you high and low in point of fact the whole of mrs pierce s household were gathered together in the hall in his embroidered smoking cap and gold spectacles upright and severe the waiting maid with her square figure and high cheek bones miss her mild like countenance and pale eyes still bearing testimony to the tears shed over her packing and her grey gown having a of outline about it wholly with a depressed mental attitude was standing near his handsome cousin a rather expression in his face and finally clothed in a little red jacket with a big round the neck of it his long brown arms showing particularly lean and out of the short open sleeves filled apparently with an unwonted spirit of performed a series of wild and about the shining marble of the staircase in the background we have been alarmed about you repeated nobody knew you had gone out i have been very much agitated the girl pushed back the dark hood from her bright hair her eyes were dancing the moist air and exercise had deepened the delicate pink in her cheeks there was a dainty air of defiance about her a sudden assertion of personal liberty as she stood in the middle of the inquiring group colonel en s wife i was quite safe she said clearly colonel has been good enough to relieve the of a very dull day by taking me for a walk oh really murmured mr under his breath you should have left word and saved us this anxiety said her step mother but she spoke less than at first that excellent woman with many dismal observations regarding the dire consequences of wet boots drove without more the young lady upstairs in front of her miss s short round person disappeared too in the direction of her half filled trunks philip waited only a few minutes he excused himself and started back through the now pouring rain for the town decidedly there was something mysterious about the atmosphere of the villa and yet on the whole he was glad that mr had started alone that morning for chapter vi a search for a in england it is of course an acknowledged fact that marriages are made in heaven in other countries as mrs pierce had occasion to point out to colonel they are chiefly made by the parents and of the parties this on the face of it would not seem to be an unreasonable custom but in theory anyway british sentiment against it british sentiment is a very remarkable and curious thing it is worth thinking about worth thinking about for the same reason that the origin of matter and the origin of evil i do not wish to the two together in thought only in speech let us by all means avoid the of the and the origin of life and a good many other profound subjects are worth thinking about namely because they are incomprehensible british sentiment is entirely incomprehensible it has a fine disregard both for logic and for experience if carefully considered it may generally be found to an impressive and apparently successful denial of the that it is impossible at one and the same time to serve both god and and out of this statement there grows a second thought a gently entertaining one to the social historian whose business it fortunately is not to teach but to observe faithfully and then set down his a test of friendship observations with what vigour and dignified alacrity the respectable man himself behind his open bible and a text almost any one will do in your inquiring face and with what consistent and high handed indifference he treats the practical application of the majority of in daily life if closely examined the attitude of the said respectable englishman presents a matter for sincere tears or equally sincere laughter as you regard it from the ideal or the we do not pretend to deal in the ideal and therefore may permit ourselves a comfortable little chuckle but to return to the text english marriages are made in heaven which being interpreted means that the ordinary saxon is a very quiet and domestic sort of animal who requires a wife having however at the same time a curious necessity for the up of his own inclination vith not only the divine sanction but with a warm and overflowing divine approval he has exalted marriage to the very highest place in the catalogue of good works and has indeed made a virtue of necessity with a vengeance british sentiment has come in too in all the force of its strength and has positively us with admirable views on this subject concerning which it has a whole literature of fiction and biography far be it from me to speak lightly of that literature it commands my highest respect it is excellent it is but it is also slightly and may be briefly described as the of solid worth and side whiskers if in that humble scientific spirit in which the social historian seeks to approach all phenomena and all questions presented to desiring always and only more clear understanding and fuller light if i say he to ask mildly and what about those marriages which expose the deplorable of their to public scrutiny in the divorce court or those other still marriages	32
that end amid brutal words and yet more brutal actions or again those other marriages which drag on with and or at best dull and coldness through long weary years are all these made in heaven british sentiment backed by british respectability the first of all not to be coarse and then goes on to inform him that these are not true marriages at all the people never really loved one another well that of course would be a most explanation of distressing phenomena if one could accept it only observation and experience do not bear it out very fully colonel en s wife for alas love the love that leads to marriage whether that marriage prove a very crown of life or a opening into regions most distinctly would hardly seem to be pre ordained and let down bodily from above experience rarely these exalted notions of supreme destiny or of arrangement on the part of the higher powers in nine cases out of ten that love is more the result of than of no celestial is required to raise for love a fair and dwelling place let british sentiment arm in arm with british respectability frown and thunder as they may the house of love may be easily enough by any man and woman out of such commonplace materials as a dance or a song a light laugh a lingering pressure of hands or those tears that come so easily into a young girl s eyes love would seem to be very humble minded he bids no and go before him with of trumpets and waving of he comes at hap hazard along quiet country lanes among of moonlight over de he meets us on the crowded city crossing amid the shouts of the drivers and under the very feet of the horses he has even taken to travelling in railway carriages in these latter days and that with a disregard of class almost painfully he is quick and subtle and fearless yet he comes softly and silently stealing up without observation and at first we laugh at his pretty face which is the face of a merry earthly child but his hands when we take them grasp like hands of iron and his strength is as the strength of a giant and his heart is as the heart of a tyrant and he gives us to drink of a cup in which sweet is mingled with bitter and the sweet too often is soon forgotten while the taste of the bitter remains and we hardly know whether to bless him or curse him for he has changed all things and we cannot tell whether to weep for the old world we have lost or shout for joy at the new world we have found such is love for the great majority a matter rather than celestial and of doubtful happiness after all but it is high time to leave these easily and return to pierce whose communications had produced anything but an agreeable impression upon the mind of our friend the colonel notwithstanding many faults and was a woman of a large and generous nature she was clever but clever rather through instinctive sympathy and emotion than through force of intellect she could boast no general of a test of friendship philosophy with its careful of evil against good and good against evil a calm and widely comprehensive view was almost impossible to her it was not the least comfort to her to trace the logical of events nor could she lose her inherent horror of individual suffering in a quiet scientific appreciation of the orderly development of the law of cause and effect she did not care a fig about necessary consequences but she cared deeply that a man or woman specially perhaps the former should be in pain or sorrow or want she had a native of which possibly she was a trifle proud to dry tears bind up broken hearts and administer of pity and consolation such a woman is for ever flinging herself h corps into situations of which when the first excitement of her feeling has worn off she is liable to get a little tired relations with her are likely to be stormy you had better make hay while the sun does shine and keep constantly in mind the fact that it is certain not to shine very as quite a girl handsome ardent and romantic had for good or evil met with pierce a tall haired young soldier in bitter grief for the death of his pretty young wife with a broad band of round his arm and a lovely little child by his side is undoubtedly an object calculated to awaken a warm thrill of in every female heart forgot those other gentlemen of her acquaintance upon whom she had been wont to a certain amount of thought and consideration marriage with a bachelor seemed to her a very affair the ideal office of a woman was that of the ideal condition that of even of step if necessary consoled the young soldier to such good purpose that in three months from the date of their first meeting he had married her i do not pretend to offer any theory regarding the origin of this marriage and pronounce it heavenly or anything else my business is merely in a faithful and manner to record facts beau pierce was a great simple good natured gentleman who when the of romance which surrounded him in his character of broken hearted had faded and he was looked at in the light of common day presented no very wonderful or mysteriously affecting characteristics wanted an office she wanted to go on but captain pierce did not now stand in the slightest need of he pronounced himself to be as jolly as a sand boy and was immensely bewildered when he o it th	32
t his beautiful wife was not at all pleased t the colonel wife announcement at last still both devoted and bewildered poor beau was ordered out to india and took to wandering she had been a good deal in italy before her marriage and the fascination of that strangely absorbing country drew her back to it again after her husband s death she stayed on england had become distasteful to her she had a craving for the sunshine the flowers the rich emotions the and endless suggestion of southern life an ardent and s woman with no duties dependent on her position to her action and satisfy her imagination is apt to run a little wild had many she could not be accused of riding them to death because before the poor things had arrived at a fatal stage of exhaustion she got tired of each one of them in turn and away on some fresh schemes of the down trodden condition of the italian the of woman all engaged her attention in turn one year she was distracted about the sufferings of animals and made herself sick with horror over the details of scientific later under the influence of some of those devout and somewhat british christians who yearly haunt the shores of the during the winter months she grew anxious as to the future of her soul she went to prayer meetings held in the of large hotels she read trying little books by obscure authors bound in the most of colours on answer to prayer and so forth she largely to societies for the of german jews and other equally practical objects but s sympathies were really too wide and deep to flow long within the artificial of any one or system nothing but a general of society whereby sorrow and crying and pain would be for ever and a universal applied to this poor world s creaking joints half blind eyes and open could the passion of pity which was growing within her she began to with rather dangerous company persons of speech and generous of ideas began to haunt her little in and keep up loud and enthusiastic till the small hours of the morning when a woman takes to politics be it in ever so mild a form she is indeed on very thin ice a a lunatic asylum or a husband either will do perhaps even rightly considered there is a certain between the becomes necessary just at this critical period of her career mrs a of friendship happened to meet her cousin at the of ere she was spending part of the summer she had not seen much of him for a considerable length of time the two had certainly cherished a species of fondness for one another long ago but in those days had been a young man with the world too much at his feet to make many claims upon his cousin s pity she had enjoyed dancing with him with him and so on well enough but he had not entered into the serious business of her affections she had only regarded him as an agreeable and sort of but at the of in mr presented a very different spectacle to his charming and warm hearted cousin he was just recovering from a serious illness he was weak and depressed miserable both in mind and body his large brown eyes had a look of sadness in them which went straight to s heart an old man servant of his father s by name and an ill favoured little monkey appeared to be his only companions he appealed to s imagination first as a specimen of suffering humanity and then as a relative family affection has a habit of asserting itself with remarkable vigour in the heart of a woman when the object of that feeling is an attractive man resisted neither family affection nor the moan of suffering humanity she devoted herself to mr and he repaid her with sincere gratitude he went further he confided in her he told her the details of that history which two years later she briefly as has already been stated to colonel entered with generous warmth of feeling into the situation she erected poor not very admirable into a hero she in his devotion to the ashes of an passion she upon him both her time and her imagination she realized his sufferings even more keenly possibly than he realized them himself to do mr justice he was profoundly touched by her kindness he possessed in a high degree that lively sense of and interest in the society of women which is more completely developed in the latin than in the races to members of the former a woman always has a peculiar and exciting interest she is never taken quite for granted and as jack for instance reckoned his wife as a capital good fellow and ordinary companion in arms we are very decent and a trifle suspicious too was only half a and he put a very high value on the enjoyment of his cousin s presence and colonel s wife when the time came for to leave the of she found herself singularly unwilling to leave mr as well quite a moving little scene took place during which a number of excellent things were said about friendship and the delightful relation of brother and sister the end of it all was that and the monkey travelled back with mrs pierce miss and that woman to some persons advised themselves to be a good deal at this last of mrs pierce s but the majority of her acquaintance knowing her real goodness of heart and bearing in mind the excellent reputation which though a young and pretty woman and her own mistress for so many years she had always enjoyed the majority i say contented themselves with smiling their shoulders and observing that the charming widow had	32
exchanged a general scheme of benevolence for a particular one still it must be owned that a decided change came over her way of living the of found their attentions quite at a neither encouragement nor were any longer began to go out a good deal into society instead of entertaining the of society at her own house these latter gentlemen made attempt to regain their former position with hen they hinted at the moral danger consequent on putting the hand to the plough and afterwards looking back looking back too in the direction of a specimen of that most class of mankind which eats its bread in idleness and the idea they mr as a a a hateful on the wounded and shuddering body of humanity to all of which rather violent language replied by saying in his tones one evening to his hostess dear cousin i think you mustn t let those amiable come here any more they are no doubt immensely amusing but you may have a little too much to pay in the end for that style of comedy we must our more or less by the length of our you know it must be admitted that with all their many virtues women have not nearly so innate a sense of the lesser of living as men they cannot perhaps owing to want of physical strength pay as much attention to that outward which makes life proceed even in private with self respect and an establishment in which there is no man is liable to be uncertain as to hours as to meals in many ways and ven occasionally though one it with fear and trembling a test of friendship hardly as careful of cleanliness as it might be those wonderful women of the future the result of several generations of high school and university culture who are going to improve us vastly in so many ways may possibly add masculine appreciation of small and to their other may have learnt to prefer butcher s meat to miscellaneous of tea and toast at odd hours and to regard morning as part of the livery of that slavery from which they fondly believe they have escaped for ever but meanwhile there is no denying that a household gains in good tone and outward regularity from the moment a man becomes a member of it women are for ever making short cuts to comfort a man on the other hand walks straight along the high road towards that desirable object and i venture to think generally in reaching it the first the complexion of mrs pierce s little establishment improved very much from the time mr and the monkey became recognized members of it who had inherited considerable business capacity from his english father as well as considerable capacity from his italian mother took his cousin s financial affairs in hand and set them on a more secure basis than they had been on for a long while it may be added that he had an excellent taste for the side of life generally and continued to create a very graceful for himself and his relations at this time was just eighteen and was to come out as the phrase is that winter in point of fact she came out very effectually forgot some of his private in watching the brilliant enjoyment of society while threw herself with all her accustomed into the situation proved undoubtedly a success and her step mother was honestly delighted at that fact all the more so probably because her relations with the girl had not been entirely satisfactory in the past owing to her sundry and manifold schemes for the and spiritual welfare of mankind s interest in her had been in character if was ill then she gathered her into the arms of affection and upon her but was very rarely ill she grew up as some fair healthy plant grows up in a fertile soil strong and straight she made few demands upon the sympathy of others there was a refined vigour about her and a happy from those nervous affections which so often beset growing girls had elaborate theories regarding education drawn alternately from s s and o colonel s wife from the of the last woman s rights she happened to have come in contact with practically held to the teaching of though innocent of any acquaintance with the writings of that much abused philosopher and followed where nature led her she had a remarkable both for music and languages though the theory of the one and the grammar of the other meant little enough to her her talent was essentially practical and verbal a desire for something articulate and rapidly expressive for her step mother s she had but small comprehension and an equally limited interest from a child had possessed a great capacity for being bored if people became earnest or imperative she would just go away and leave them it is to be feared that her sense of obligation to the needs and claims of her fellow creatures was not very lively she loved sunshine movement exercise and all natural objects she established relations with all manner of living creatures was friendly with gold fish and intimate with cats and when poor mrs pierce becoming troubled under the of her friends about the condition of her own soul extended her solicitude to s soul also the girl met her anxious and penetrating words first with amusement and then with something very like anger for indeed in the fulness of her youthful vitality and the of her powers of enjoyment had about as much conception of the deeper needs of the human spirit as a butterfly on a gay summer s day over a bank of and wild roses might be expected to have she declined to take the slightest interest in the of her sex	32
second sunday of his stay at it happened that he did not make his way up to the villa till quite late several things detained him and combined to induce in him a humour not completely in sympathy with the atmosphere of that peculiarly constituted establishment in the morning philip fulfilled the whole duty of man by attending the english service held in one of the back rooms of colonel s wife the hotel there are three separate things which the british demands and woe to the hotel which does not hasten to supply them no respectable saxon boot sole will ever cross its threshold two of these things are for the body the third is for the soul a proportion not without meaning perhaps the british must be with open and ah english the hotel manager at had early realized the existence of this of necessities on the part of his and had done his best to meet them mr s acquaintance the little faced clergyman while his attendant ladies the good man being apparently desirous of making the most of the permission was leading about a wife a sister and two sisters in law with zeal undertook supported by an and piano to supply the musical portion of the performance the sermon that unfortunately inevitable incident in the church service consisted of an address on s feast the subject is sufficiently full of impressive if mysterious suggestion in the original narrative the preacher elected to treat it from a point of view everything was diligently explained to mean something else and in proportion as his grammar became more doubtful and his types more obscure the worthy little man s voice louder and louder and his aspect became more and defiant at length he absolutely forth a string of sentences mainly suggestive of an and chaos one is bound to suppose there is something singularly grateful to the professional in this style of discourse since one is so frequently fated to hear it to the it is slightly bewildering nd offers but doubtful help towards the conduct of life or the understanding of matters eternal philip being but a simple minded person did not derive any sensible measure of illumination from the latter part of the exercises of the morning in the afternoon he went for a walk among the hills the day was radiant the air quick with the breath of the sea breeze turning off the main road at the outskirts of the town he passed up the steep paved way between the walls to a little village church with a tall red and yellow painted standing on the about a mile from it was the hour for afternoon service the bells harsh and imperative in the high tower while on the low wall the flat space before the church door men and lads sat lazily and laughing the village priest a kindly bright eyed man in lover and mistress worn and rusty skull cap wandered his hands clasped behind him and his tall lean figure somewhat bent from group to group speaking a word to one and another with genial familiarity inside the church dim with the coloured gloom of stained windows and walls a large company of peasant women sat or knelt the gay silk handkerchiefs tied over their heads making them look like a great bed of gaudy spring the air was warm and heavy with a lingering of incense there was a suppressed murmur of voices stir of footsteps and rustle of garments in his character of english traveller philip felt he had a right to look at anything that presented itself he stepped within the open church door j but i grieve to say there were certain and tendencies in his spiritual constitution which prevented his being in very warm sympathy with the scene he loved out of doors and with all its splendour and wide appeal to the imagination has little enough of out of doors about it it lets in the sunshine through painted glass on which it has the conception of the ends and aims of mortal existence our friend the colonel was tempted to fancy the white light of truth painfully obscured by passing through this coloured medium be that as it may he had soon seen as much as he cared to see of the village he turned up a narrow path at the back of it and after passing through the belt of olive trees whose tremulous silvery shade is not so much shade after all as broken light through of and tall heath on the straight of which the withered blossoms showed golden brown he reached the outer edge of the pine woods high on the mountain side far below lay the and gardens and the houses of the town glittering in the keen dazzling light beyond the sea stretched away to the southern horizon the bells of the little village church out wildly for a few minutes more and then with a final crash and bang ceased suddenly no sound broke the silence save the whisper of the wind in the pine trees rising and falling in a soft and like that of summer waves on a quiet sandy shore a glad repose a sabbath stillness came over the beautiful land philip threw himself at full length on the deep brown bed of fallen pine needles and as he lay there in the warm sun shine looking up at the red branches and dark glossy foliage of the trees clear and sharp against the deep blue purple of the sky pleasant thoughts and hopes came to him colonel s wife hop s that he could hardly have set out in words yet which brought to his soul deeper meaning than all the of the sermon he had listened to that morning and a larger peace and promise than that forth in the rich gloom	32
of the church with its half seen pictures and down below yes let excited and and other energetic improving and virtuous persons say what they may it is very good at times to get away into silence and solitude to get away from all the noise and struggle of man with his arts and and magnificent schemes so often and his poor little space of anxious self conscious years and his mixed motives and feverish efforts to get away beyond all histories with their sounds of wailing and battle their of sin and of blood beyond all the with their vain attempts to square the circle and reconcile that which can never be reconciled beyond all the and all the with their bitter their arbitrary and j beyond yes beyond the very sense of right and wrong itself back back to the great serene heart of nature a heart beating with and energy yet calm and restrained filled with the rapture and repose of power and victorious it is good to get back and lie on the warm bosom of the eternal mother the folds cf whose garments are the high mountains whose feet are set in the laughing ocean and whose life is the life of the world to lie there while the soul slips away from the sense of its own paltry joys and sorrows from the narrow hopes and fears of the individual lot to be made one with the glorious order of created things the flesh and spirit no longer conscious of weary and divisions to dream of the everlasting mysteries of birth and growth and of the fulness of strength and of the failing of strength and of decay and of the mystery of force of life again returning out of death to begin once more the ceaseless round of existence anew to dream of the mystery of night and morning summer and winter seed time and harvest rain and shine while through all the countless ages the eternal wisdom and goodness for ever over the broad bright land and sea what is man that thou art of him get back back to the mother of all and listen she may speak to you philip lying there under the pine trees in the afternoon sunshine had a perception of unspeakable trust and confidence of belief in a final reconciliation far away far off out of mortal sight for a little space he dimly grasped the strange secret of the that state of lover and mistress and without movement without desire which in the estimation of some of the purest spirits the highest conception of perfect and enduring bliss thank god for this beautiful world he said to himself quietly and reverently the sun was sloping towards the west and the shadows were growing long when he rose up at last voices of the making their way back from the village church came up on the sea breeze from the winding paths below the spell indeed was broken but the impression it had made remained for a while yet philip wandered down towards the amazed filled with a solemn gladness like a man who has seen a vision and spoken face to face with the gods but alas i these happy moments of clear insight and illumination are but moments after all the of our and artificial life soon drown the music of the the fair i ce of heaven is too soon obscured again by storms of passion while jealousy self will hatred and fear like evil beasts root up and the fruitful land man never in one stay which is after all extremely fortunate for the and writer of fiction let us console ourselves for indeed life at this admirably ideal level would interfere with our excellent system of large profits and quick returns colonel as he among the thought that perhaps he would not go up to the villa at all that evening the silent hour on the mountain side had done much to the chain of habit that was on him he was aware of a sudden sense of from the life of the villa from mrs pierce with her sad secret and dark beauty from with his soft voice and air of a mild he had drunk deep of the cup of nature he could hardly go straight back and drink then thin and listen to the social gossip of a lady who was more than half in love with a gentleman of rather shady who on his part was greatly disposed to her step daughter the good colonel you see permitted himself to state the case a trifle just then and the contrast it offered to his late emotions was too glaring he paused with a slight movement of disgust he leaned against the grey trunk of one of the old and felt for his cigar case he had been a good deal moved a smoke would steady him decidedly he muttered i am not quite in the humour for those people just now yet in saying this the colonel was conscious of making a en s mental those people did not include somehow he thought with a sense of relief of the bright glancing looks and laughter she was as fresh and natural and far from all subtle of sinister meaning as the scent of the pine trees or the and glitter of the mountain streams she would understand it all well enough he thought his clear eyes softened and he smiled quietly to himself she would never strike a false note or be out of tune with feelings like these colonel s smile a little it changed its character from tenderness to amusement i wonder which of my feelings she would be out of tune with though he added i am afraid i am beginning to be a little too much aware of that young	32
the country is too ancient it means too much the life of to day merely plays like a fitful on the great stream of memories which sweeps past us with such awful strength and indifference philip had left peace up among the pine woods on the still slopes of the here was man once more crowding crushing forward generation after generation down the manifold ages of history the same stories told over and over again through an endless procession of human lives the last the man of to day troubled with the same questions the same desires the same degrading necessities and as far away too apparently from the heart of absolute truth as the stem dark old of the or the splendid and of the empire or the savage of and and or the dim children of the middle ages or the glittering sons and daughters of the or the weary for the dawn of returning liberty in the long sad night of and colonel well dressed well ofl english sitting comfortably at dinner at the open window of a modern hotel and lover and looking out calmly into the narrow streets of an unimportant north italian town was still haunted and oppressed with a perception of these things the past seemed to over shadow and him threatening to swallow up his individuality thousands of men had wandered along the path of love all as he had thousands of men had their life s happiness on a woman s smile and the clasp of a woman s hand thousands had turned away disappointed sick at heart consumed with desire nay more thousands had got all they dreamed of or hoped for and in the end thereof weariness and sorrow it was the old old story over again the black headed waiter who had found conversation agreeable rather to the neglect of more obvious duties hurried in suddenly would the colonel have there was an excellent of fruits no the colonel would not have the colonel had arrived at conclusions he went up to his own room and dressed himself for the evening with scrupulous precision he stopped a moment in the hall on coming down again and asked the porter for a light for his cigar the man brought it and then remarked as he helped philip on with his overcoat they have company at the villa to day two english ladies a little boy and a maid madame pierce s servant whom doubtless has often seen has been down to secure rooms for them colonel did not bestow much attention upon this announcement he was busy with his own thoughts he was going to tell mrs pierce that as she had honoured him with her confidence he would strongly urge upon her the of an immediate journey to england he was also going to say good bye he had settled definitely to go on to tomorrow chapter ii a spring night good resolutions are a pleasant crop to sow the seed springs up so readily the blossoms open so soon and make such a brave show specially just at first we are full of self we point to our patch of garden ground with pride and ask if anything ever promised better but when the time of flowers has passed what as to the fruit well it must be en s admitted that he fruit has a bad habit of but slowly and that the wind too often brings it down before it is well ripe everybody knows what an unsatisfactory thing wind fallen fruit is after all the trouble it has given us in the stages of growth we grudge to let it lie on the ground and rot and yet if in an economical spirit we gather it together and eat it it has an tendency to prove and produce that and painful disorder known as the philip s good resolutions were in very full bloom as he walked up on that sunday evening to the little red villa in saying this the writer does not for a moment wish to raise a smile at the expense far from it to those who look below the surface and recognize how very seldom men and women do actually sacrifice their own desires to the ruling of an idea there is something fine in such a man s and of purpose in his voluntary self in his readiness to do violence to his own feelings if by the doing of such violence he can preserve what appears to him an ideal fitness of things there is a grain of heroism surely in an honest acknowledgment of one s own a heroism all the more rare of because with romance and because not in the very least exciting colonel had determined to stand aside to himself not so much as to hint at his own feelings they were strong strong enough in all conscience as he owned to himself almost with shame but he himself was stronger he looked the matter fairly in the face judged it and turned away he thought it would be little short of to trade upon s innocence and to use his love still more his age or loneliness as a claim upon her pity the colonel by the way with a number of virtues of the existence of which her conduct and conversation had given but limited indications but then lovers have a power of going to sea in and successfully performing other of a kindred nature impossible to a and generation the girl must go to england he she was pretty enough and original enough to make a distinguished marriage she should marry a man young brilliant and hopeful as and when that small voice which is not the voice of conscience but the voice of something quite the reverse of conscience devout persons have gone so far as to fancy it the voice	32
of satan himself when this voice began to suggest objections to ask him inconvenient questions when for instance it inquired what and if and mistress this brilliant young man turns out a a or a philip remained firm and clear sighted the fate which lay before in th future it w s no business of his to god knew and it was not for him philip to indulge his own passion imder the pretence of acting special providence to her and protecting her from possible trouble his duty was to leave her free free as the soft breeze of the spring night to speak his mind to mrs pierce and then go away and forget for philip had no morbid craving to pose as a man with a history or to a useless regret that he had ever come near being something more to the young lady than her father s old and faithful friend that was the right course for him to pursue as far as his personal appearance went the colonel had rarely showed to greater advantage than he did on this occasion the fighting light had come into his blue eyes and his jaw was set and square strong emotion in some men produces a singular effect of youth it and the face philip looked some six or eight years under his actual age as he walked up rapidly through the vines whose young leaves where the moonlight touched them seemed set in a tiny rim of silver by following a narrow path across the you avoid the many of the carriage road this path comes out on the at the foot of the terrace on which the house stands and passing along close under the wall of the main road some twenty yards further on at the bottom of the final ascent as colonel reached the end of the path and along under the wall he heard voices on the terrace above him he could not see the owing to their position and the intervening screen of leaves i believe he was always a very well meaning young man not good looking and not very sharp you know we saw a great deal of him at one time more in fact than i really wished not that i want to say a word against him pray understand that he was perfectly philip received a slight shock the voice a woman s had something alternately and in the tones of it which struck him as unpleasant yet dimly familiar i think it must be the same he heard mr answer there was no his soft utterance the description admirably except in one particular f what ly by the colonel s wife he is sometimes a little now at least to me dear aunt but people must develop you know in twenty years he is still not very sharp as you put it and he is eminently respectable philip walked on quickly out of hearing he had an instinct that the foregoing conversation concerned him nearly taken all round it was not a flattering piece of criticism still he derived a positive if satisfaction from the knowledge that he was offensive at times to mr but that woman s voice he could not fit a name or personality to it yet he became more and more convinced that he remembered it very well he walked fast along the path cutting impatiently at the straggling weeds by the side of it as he did so and then turned to the right up the carriage road the steep slope of the ground compelled him to his pace were and barking up at the old among the tall green in the on the left and the sharp note of the came from the rose bushes but colonel with all his love of nature was not in the right humour to find pleasure in these things his pride against the false position in which he found himself the fact of having overheard something not intended for his ears was intensely to him that woman s voice troubled him all the uncomfortable side of life at the villa which had begun to pass out of the range of his vision during the last ten days rushed into the again with distinctness the lines of duty and wisdom had showed plain enough when he left some half hour ago but now they seemed to grow confused and he felt suspicious vaguely disturbed this movement of suspicion extended itself even to the beautiful night the became a burden the with their everlasting clatter an absolute nuisance the scent of the orange trees down on the soft wind from the garden beyond the house was sickly in its sweetness there was a influence abroad to night as and as the dim sense of familiarity which that woman s voice had at the top of the hill colonel paused the scene before him was a quaint and fantastic one the usually sober little villa seemed for once to have put on a dress the terrace stretched away bathed in pale moonlight save where a broad shaft of more positive and light streamed out across it from the hall door the garden was gay with a number of little coloured paper swaying gently in the breeze and lover and mistress showing here and there in high relief the blossoms and foliage of the adjacent shrubs with spaces of dusky shadow in between from the garden came a sound of voices but that which specially arrested colonel s attention was a pair of white figures on the terrace directly in front of him one that of a girl the other of a child some five or six years old the two were playing together running lightly to and fro laughing and calling to each other in tones fresh and clear as bird notes there was a weird	32
effect in these pale flitting figures for a seconds crossing the shaft of light streaming out from the doorway they would become honest flesh and blood then stepping back into the moonlight again they instantly regained a vague ethereal character philip hesitated he stood still watching them under the circumstances it was difficult to know exactly how to act he could not bring himself to walk up calmly to the young lady in the midst of her mystic and greet her with some remark upon the state of the weather his taste made him instinctively from so very a mode of and there was something more than mere good taste in philip just now he was in that heightened state of moral and consciousness in which conventional ways of conducting one s self are quite the least easy or obvious seeing again in the light of the confession he had so lately made to himself the poor colonel was almost painfully aware how much she was to him how delightful he found her presence what a tender and yet penetrating value her every look and action had for him how terribly sweet it would be to take ber in his arms to hold and keep her for ever next his heart and yet as she laughed with merry laughter and ran with light quick footsteps after the laughing child she seemed cruelly beyond his reach a creature of some young far off ideal world yes love was indeed working in philip the dear tremulous delicious had fairly begun and i for my part entirely refuse to pity him the piteous moment only comes for each one of us when that happy pain is cured for ever suddenly the child set off running straight along the terrace looking back and calling to the girl behind him as he ran catching sight unexpectedly of colonel s tall dark figure in front of him the boy with a shrill cry of fright and would have fallen headlong if philip had not stepped forward and caught him by the ami look out my little man he said kindly or we shall have you tumbling on your head i colonel s wife paused on hearing the child s cry she stood still for ft moment and put up one hand with an instinctive movement to smooth the of her fair hair then she came forward slowly the moonlight fell softly upon her straight slender figure her head was thrown back and there was a charming half defiant smile on her face those desirable blossoms which had shown so thick on philip s patch of good resolutions and curiously at this juncture the fruit of them if it ever came to perfection promised to be a bitter he was rapidly passing out of the region in which a man thinks and reasons into that fer more interesting and also far more dangerous one in which he merely feels but he fought gallantly with the rising tide of his own passion he would go away to morrow it would be folly and more than folly to ask this mere child to marry him and yet yet how he could have her how gladly he could have consecrated all his life to her service with what fulness of satisfaction he could have borne her from this crowded hot suggest ve italian land and watched her nature its full sweetness through the long still english summer days amid the broad green country and in the innocent northern sunshine he fancied the girl would be far more at home at dear stately old than in the artificial of the villa all this flashed through philip s mind as in flowing white garments came forward in the cool moonlight the garden with its coloured its fitful murmur of conversation and of coffee cups lay behind her she was stepping westward away from it and all that it implied away from and his sub humour away from mrs pierce and her dark restless affection away from unknown ladies with harsh half remembered voices away from that little haunting evil spirit of a monkey away from all that out towards the freedom and gracious solemnity of the spring night and towards him colonel dropped the boy s hand which had rested in his he put the child gently away from him and stood waiting his eyes were very clear and steady but there was a certain pain in his expression as of one to whom a good gift is offered yet who is constrained for very delight in it to refuse to put forth his hand and take it the little boy who did not apparently at all relish this indifference on philip s part to his own small presence ran up to and pulled at her dress saying who is he what does he want don t let us stop playing because of him lover and mistress looked full at the colonel for a minute then she bent own towards the face of the child and said with her peculiarly dear and detached listen and i will tell you who he is he is a kind friend and a famous soldier he has seen great battles and strange countries and he never cried when he was a little boy and nearly fell down on the gravel and she went on very softly he promised to help me to get away from the little red villa and go to england but i am afraid he has forgotten all about that i don t want you to go away returned the boy promptly evidently he regarded most things from a personal i want you to stay here and play with me colonel came up and stood near her words had been wonderfully pleasant to him she rested one hand on the bo s shoulder and with the other pushed back the heavy mass of brown hair from his	32
little nervous i am quite nervous already you are eminently welcome colonel he added with gracious emphasis some relations of mine have most kindly come to see me to day we have not as much in common as one could wish my fault of course i own and family affection goes a long way arid fills up many conversation now is becoming the least shade difficult i have colonel wife been looking forward to your arrival with longing and you come and say something to them we should all unite in a movement of gratitude i shall be very happy to make myself useful said philip stiffly he detested mr with amazing cordiality at that moment that is so good of you the other man answered then he addressed at whom he had glanced more than once while speaking i wonder if you know how extremely becoming that gown is he remarked in a meditative manner it does not much matter whether i know it or not she replied quickly if other people do you mean continued mr still looking at her and lifting his eyebrows slightly commend me to your good sense it never deserts you i did not say that the girl answered with some warmth oh no of course not if you had it would have tended to my statement with rapidity but you leave things to be understood your taste is always admirable that is more than can be said of your own at times mr broke in the colonel a number of subtle strains of feeling had combined to philip s self control he was bitter and he lost his temper pretty thoroughly that fellow with his nasty tions will make her as artificial and as he is himself he thought and then he added mentally a certain desire concerning mr future destiny considerably more vigorous than polite meanwhile stared at him with an of interested surprise suppose we come into the garden he said perhaps it would be safer this spot is exposed and medical men say that moonlight is dangerous it affects the intelligence in some cases shall we come few things are more than that another person should triumphantly retain his of when you are conscious of having lost your own practised this passive form of torture frequently upon the members of his acquaintance he entirely refused to be ruffled he became and more seriously polite and gracious that was all he was perfectly ready to pardon small and those that cursed him and this not because his spirit was lover and mistress lot penetrated with a conviction of the value of the grace of humility but simply because it was not worth while to get excited men and things were profoundly unsatisfactory this world is a most speculation bound to go wrong and prove a bore to permit yourself to be excited or angry implied that you had expected things to go right and were disappointed it was crude it was exquisitely foolish to be disappointed and if there was one thing mr dreaded it was being foolish he did not dread anything else very much he was under the impression that he had taken the measure of the possible evils which could befall him he believed he was equal to meeting them he had not very much he thought either to gain or to lose his belief in his own that would be a heavy loss and an one as to colonel had a considerable respect for him he fancied that he understood the other man s character pretty completely he knew quite well that colonel disliked him but it would have appeared about as reasonable to to be annoyed with him on these grounds as to be annoyed with a for moving with deliberation or with a spider for enjoying a diet of flies people are the result of their circumstances of inheritance education to be o with them poor for what they cannot possibly help for sympathies and none of their choosing and beyond their control is simply absurd and so it comes about that a and creed produces some aspects of the highest christian endurance and a really admirably glad suffering of fools combined with a beautiful absence of any desire to the said fools in with the professed intention of grinding the folly out of them the immediate consequence of mr philosophy on the present occasion was that he entertained his companion with agreeable conversation as they walked slowly after and the little boy down the length of the terrace his face was mild and serious his manner calm and soothing he treated the colonel as one treats a slightly insane patient who should be agreed with and humoured gazed down over the terrace wall at the and the town below did his best in fact to out the little walk as much as possible and completely to engage colonel s philip s wrath under these he thought he had been a trifle rough on mr he did not care to that movement of he had plenty on m colonel en s wife his hands already without matters by a brush with this young gentleman he too and listened very to mr advice as to the best way of seeing italy and other kindred matters while his eyes followed s retreating figure with lingering as they went in at the gate of the garden was saying you should come for a winter you know for instance is delightful in winter and there generally is interesting society there society that presents a good deal of material to the imagination yes you should see it colonel you would form an element perhaps a new one society would be obliged to you by the way my cousin mrs who is here to night could tell you a lot about she was tha e a good deal a few years ago before	32
her husband poor died there were original traits in s character mrs had some experiences i fancy while she lived in colonel happened to look full at as the latter finished speaking his thoughts had been engaged with somewhat penetrating personal considerations and he had hardly noticed what the other man had been saying the two were standing quite near each other in the narrow glancing at him suddenly the colonel was aware of a singular expression about his companion of an of gaze as though he was watching him with some distinct purpose put his hand over his eyes for a moment with an indolent half disgusted gesture dear me he said how vulgar those wretched little look after the moonlight i and yet and i were rather pleased with our illumination at first even now though i own it is a lamentable exhibition of the purity of my taste i think it has a certain value it presents a contrast and there is a great deal to be got out of they are very teaching they make one aware of a number of sensations one might otherwise miss and at my age i begin to cherish sensations that is if they are not too vivid he moved on as he spoke into the gleaming garden and then smiling at philip added talking of colonel here is a sufficiently telling one it is a little unkind to one of the ladies certainly but that alas is just look there at my cousin pierce and my cousin lover and mistress colonel came a few steps into the garden too he started and could hardly repress an he was conscious of a sudden luminous in his brain the solid ground seemed to give a and then slowly settle itself into i ace again where the four gravel paths met in the centre of the garden with the light of a row of swaying falling fully upon her stood her white figure showing in high relief against a dim background of leaves and flowers she was speaking with considerable vivacity and animation apparently describing her late game of play by her side listening to her clear speech was a tall thin woman who had shaken hands with the days of her youth she wore a plain travelling dress of dark material and gave the impression of being a tired careful over individual of having reached a state of mind in which she was indifferent to those small of feminine attire and was unequal to that of gesture and manner so important to every woman who her natural desire of appearing to advantage in masculine eyes as a connecting link between these two very persons stood the little boy holding the hand of the elder woman kicking about the gravel with his foot and putting in a remark from time to time in thin tones i hope you have not tired yourself said mrs with an even utterance you have been very kind in amusing so long laughed gently she looked wonderfully sparkling with her fresh face and quick graceful movements the emotion she had displayed a short time before when talking to colonel had apparently passed away leaving no trace save perhaps a brighter light in her blue grey eyes and a slight in her voice i am hardly ever tired she answered unless i am bored and then i just go to sleep mamma says i am remarkably i am very glad of that i am not fond of sickness or sick people it all seems unnatural you know mrs appeared a little bewildered she drew the boy nearer to her as she replied sickness maybe unnatural lam sure i don t know it is very common smiled he glanced at the two women under the orange trees and then at colonel this contrast interests you he inquired io colonel en s wife the expression had resolved itself out of simple astonishment into one of considerable resolution the position was a painful and embarrassing one but he was determined ta carry it through with a high hand i believe i have the honour of knowing that lady he said with some dignity of manner she has probably forgotten me though as it is a long while since we met i must ask you to mention my name to her to recall me to her remembrance made a gesture of assent by all means but here are mrs pierce and my worthy aunt mrs just coming out of that little speak to them first my cousin is not in her happiest mood to night i grieve to say therefore it is advisable to observe mrs pierce did in fact sweep up to the two gentle men in a rather dramatic manner she shook hands with philip in silence and then stepping aside said colonel mrs mrs me that you and she are old friends that was the term wasn t it old friends colonel philip bowed profoundly to a figure which blocked the of the ah perhaps colonel won t admit the friendship said the lady with a large and slightly biting of address we women remember every little event in our quiet monotonous lives but with you gentlemen it is so different a thousand things happen to you you know and the old recollections while we poor things sit at home with our fancy work and our memories and our regrets ah dear me philip felt i too have an excellent memory i assure you he said quietly eh what exclaimed mrs sharply then she turned to mrs pierce with an assumption of great of we have always watched colonel s career with so much interest you know the papers have not been silent they have given us information very deeply interesting information at times i have often said to i wonder if we shall ever meet colonel again and	32
little short of an insult there is if you like wretched to have such a mother and really it is too that miss should be away just now it is ah well but colonel tell me what on earth has made you decide to rush off to like this at an s notice as she ceased speaking raised her eyes to philip s face something in his appearance arrested her he stood still almost rigid before her yet there was a singular intensity and of purpose about him the answer to her question came promptly enough you must pardon me mrs pierce i cannot give you my reasons for going away but they are imperative believe me all the same her forehead contracted into a frown half annoyance and half thought i do not understand you i understand myself only too well answered the colonel not without a grain of bitterness a sound of footsteps and voices came from the direction of the house the guests were departing then tall and stalked into the garden if you re going to stay out here ma am any longer she said you must put more on mr sent out this cloak i meant to bring one out myself anyway s manner towards her mistress was not with any of ceremony their acquaintance dated from days of nurse and more or less spoilt child and a of that relation survived between them still submitted very readily to have the wrapped about her io colonel s wife i suppose i can put out those lantern things went on oh leave that to you can t reach them answered the worthy waiting woman smiled grimly i can reach them just as well as and he won t be back for the best part of an hour the candles are burnt right down they ll set fire to the paper before long oh do as you like you always have your own way in the end you know with that mrs pierce got up come on to the terrace she said to colonel tell me she added as they moved away are your reasons for going connected in any way with the people you met here to night no i had decided to go before i saw your guests this evening i had already mentioned the fact to your daughter leaned against the low terrace wall this is all very abrupt she said in the garden extinguished the coloured lights one by one there was something rather about her tall gaunt form it was difficult to believe that the harsh bony woman did not derive a cruel satisfaction from cutting short the pretty frivolous superfluous of those swaying lights philip watched her in silence for a moment then he spoke simply and earnestly the fact that he was sternly putting out all his own gay coloured hopes just as yonder was putting out the gay coloured lent a penetrating quality a ring of simple eloquence to his speech he alluded to their former conversation he reminded mrs pierce that she had asked his advice now he gave it she had spoken of her s future let her take the young girl home to england to her own country and kindred and find a worthy for her there foreigners and half foreigners he said seem to me likely to make very poor sort of husbands for her own peace of mind as well as for s welfare he urged her to go and go soon to renew intercourse with her own and her husband s relations to pick up the threads of english life again listened quietly when he had finished she spoke with an air of abstraction that is what you advise then yes that is what i advise i have thought the matter over as carefully as i know how that is what you ought to do raised her shoulders lover and mistress oh you are mistaken mistaken she exclaimed no i am not i wish i was mistaken said the colonel sadly i have found the last fortnight very pleasant mrs pierce it is not to please myself that i go away he wanted to on this text and make a civil speech but somehow the words stuck in his throat the speech refused to come off shook hands with him in silence then when he had got a few steps away she called after him you do not start early to morrow colonel turned back i shall go by the mid day train he answered at the end of the terrace he took a last look at the villa the moon had set some while before the house loomed up a black mass with a window here and there gleaming from light within the and had concluded their long concert only the muffled roar of the surf sounded up from the beach and the night wind whispered and among the stiff leaves of the old trees at the near end of the upper path far below the lights of the town amid the rich purple obscurity of the night to colonel the last fortnight seemed of the substance of a dream ethereal the pretty play was played out the curtain had come down the spectacle was over the common work a day world claimed him as its own once more he believed at that moment that he had said good bye for ever to all whether of joy or sorrow wife child home those eternal sources both of purest pleasure and keenest pain were not for him he would go away go back to his it had consoled him long ago perhaps it would contrive to console him again he thought with a species of satisfaction of the innumerable rows of black huts at of the buildings and the church crowning the rising ground of the bare waste of the long valley with its of	32
sombre fir trees and stretches of dark henceforth as far as love and pretty young girls went he would honestly accept his age and he would put that side of things away for ever and patiently submit to consider him self in questions of the affections upon my word though he said to himself while walking along the narrow street of between the tall frowning houses upon my word i have had a pretty hard day of it just then mr slim a shade over dressed and with an air of exquisite met him k i jo s wife ah good night colonel he said is it true that we have the misfortune of losing you so soon still notwithstanding the prospect of parting i own i am a happy man to night i have the heart of a child i in the possession of a clear conscience after all what pleasure is to a sense of accomplished duty lifting his hat he passed on without waiting for any answer philip had a momentary longing to find himself opposite to mr at a distance of twenty paces with access series in the form of pistols seconds and a surgeon it made the fact of his none the easier that he left that young gentleman behind him in full possession at the villa chapter iv mr finds himself unequal to the occasion when she parted with colonel mrs pierce w as in a somewhat excited frame of mind like many persons of apparently strong will and strong character she had at bottom a great necessity for moral support she was in truth extremely dependent she found it impossible to keep things to herself she was compelled to so to speak very often she made most mistakes by overflowing to quite the wrong person she went indoors and upstairs into the drawing room which looked and ghostly in the feeble light of a of candles set on the piano had been playing in the evening some loose music was scattered about and d little of flowers which had given the girl when she came down dressed for dinner lay fading on the turned back lid above the key board regarded these indications of her pretty step daughter s late presence without any very warm signs of maternal or even step maternal tenderness in point of r they appeared to rather than her former agitation she clasped her well shaped hands together with strong impatient gesture and began to pace backwards and forwards up and the whole length of the long room her black lace swaying with the drooping and half angry raising of her bead while the heavy train of her black silk dress made a noise as it dragged over the marble floor mr came in after a while and came in top in a charming humour he even w nt so far as to hum a bars lover and af is from one of evil sounding songs in as he came upstairs ah i dear cousin you are still up this is an unexpected bit of good fortune let us talk glanced at him from under her eyebrows her nostrils dilated slightly she looked like a well bred horse which lays back its ears half iii ind half in i will sit down if you don t mind continued i am slightly exhausted i see you are walking off the effects of my dear aunt mrs s society it needs walking off i admit don t let me interfere with that process we can talk just as well so she is a detestable old woman said mrs pierce over her shoulder as she swept up the room again ah there you the mark he answered in a mildly tone she is not detestable she is only ik you are rather powerful too you know at tones and two powerful women rarely get on quite happily together but i am really sorry for my aunt all the same she sea and land to make good marriages for her daughters nd now all their highly desirable husbands refuse to have anything to do with her she has had to fall back on has a positive genius for doing her duty i always have thought more or less of a fool said j pierce yes but she is a good fool and that is more or less of a thing to night i love her dearly she completely colonel stopped abruptly in her agitated walk what do you mean she exclaimed back in his chair rested his elbows on the of it and pressed the tips of his fingers together with the air of a man who is full of a gracious sense of well being it was truly he said it was just one of those delicate little that life more than for a short period i guessed a good deal from certain things whidi my aunt said when we first mentioned s name i ascertained that they had hot met since the days of youth and that at that remote epoch he had been seriously smitten with had entertained tender feelings towards him prior of course to her connection with that plausible i was grieved to inflict any discomfort on her poor dear soul but what would you have one can t too closely consider everybody colonel s wife walked on again her head was bent she anything but delighted at this little narrative i was sweeter than honey and butter to the colonel who o his part was not quite as civil as he might have been to me bv i my time i arranged a delicate revenge revenge she interrupted sharply why what have you with colonel oh no personal quarrel i assure you he has the contempt for me but i don t mind that it is a mere matter d temperament he can no more help it than that nameless bu historic person of	32
whom we used to be told in our youth help his head swelling when he eat i no so much my wretched self dear cousin as all unsuccessful vagabond humanity i have a large share of primitive instincts of fallen man which make dirty worthless boys in the throw a handful of mud at the nice clean well conducted little boys who roll by them sitting up in well appointed carriages i planned a telling scene i let the sigh of burst upon our friend as she was standing talking t under the orange trees you can picture the contrast laughed softly to himself it was dramatic th poor colonel really behaved very well but to use a phrase it knocked the wind out of him for a few seconds ver effectually mrs pierce was at the far end of the room sh spoke with a trace of no doubt he felt seeing again under the but i suppose i am stupid i confess i don t quit catch the point of the contrast with heaven help us where are your eyes cried m holding up his hands why poor man to put it he is simply over head and ears in love with mrs pierce came slowly down the length of the again she had that appearance of laying back her ears an showing the of her eyes as she passed the young mar she said with something rather forced in the calm of her ah you think so too do you i am glad of that there was a moment s silence i don t think that is quite kind of you cousin he observed has not had plenty of victims already i merely a passing practical joke you go farther it seems and with no fair cause why should you want the poor man to be tortured l i don t want him to be tortured she answered keeping hei lover and mistress eyes fixed on the floor i have the highest regard for colonel i desire earnestly to secure his happiness remained very still the air of enjoyment had pretty well died out of his face pardon me he said but would you mind sitting the of your dress is getting a little on to my nerves it me i confess for example i don t clearly apprehend the meaning of your last speech as he spoke mr looked very full at his companion strong as mrs pierce might appear this man certainly exercised a remarkable influence over her she knew quite well that the die was cast and that a dangerous and painful scene lay before her how dangerous and painful it might prove she could not as yet determine but that it would tax her courage and fortitude pretty severely she was already sure in her present state of hardly repressed excitement it would be far easier to her to say what must be said moving to and fro yet when mr looked steadily at her and pointed to the sofa opposite to she wavered only for a moment and then sat down that is better he i am no doubt but i repeat i do not clearly understand what you mean back among the large sofa cushions movement and feeling had brought a glow of colour into her cheeks in her rich elaborate black gown with the soft lace falling back from her dusky hair she was undoubtedly a strikingly handsome and distinguished looking physically she gave way before her companion a nervous tremor shook her but mentally she herself against his influence she half shut her eyes and clasped her hands tightly together as they lay on her lap i intend to encourage colonel she said slowly to be quite frank with you i wish to secure s future and i believe he would make her an admirable husband did not move but he turned very pale indeed ah he said with a queer shuddering it was something like the cry of an animal in pain sat up quickly she raised her hands and tore open the lace at her throat she wanted air she felt as though she would it was dreadful to her to see this man suffer but it was almost equally dreadful to perceive why he suffered don t take it like that she cried with sudden violence it is hideous you will drive me mad hardly her outburst he smiled a little covered her eyes his poor white face and that pitiful mockery of a smile turned her faint i s wife i understand perfectly well now thank you hfe said gently i flattered myself i was prepared for most things but one s imagination i observe a habit of just missing what is most probable one s philosophy too fails at critical moments it one to bear imaginary evils perfectly well it is not so successful with real evils well i own myself beaten you are the of the two by a very long way i had not thought of this combination s future demands a victim of course but i am to be tortured this time i see not colonel what could i do she exclaimed i have suspected feared how things were going with you but i did not dream it gone as far as this and then she added with a sort of gasp it may come to nothing after all i don t think so the young man answered with that same wretched smile everything will turn out as wish at least if you keep on i must keep on said mrs pierce she threw back her head her face was hard and set then almost immediately she softened again into a tone of pleading with a wild longing to justify herself to prove that her motives were i do it for the best i believe it is right it seems the safest	32
the saving grace of duty has been so so praised and insisted upon that by now it surely must be uplifted above all fear of it is the pole star of the saxon night we all steer by it or by what we reckon to be it and demand that others shall steer by it too it appears to be set far above in the heavens immovable everlasting it is a name to with a to a city of refuge when argument to fail and perhaps the most engaging about this same idea of duty is that everybody can look at it from their own point of view use its power in support of their own cause the mystic benefit of its name in the most opposite cases one may even go one step further and admit that the great practical use of such a recognized watch as duty is that the using of it alone is sufficient and that used it you are then agreeably free to do what you please has got his go on your way rejoicing by the nothing further will be required of you only here and there will you come across some sincere and soul who having been with the conception of takes it home to his or her heart and tries faithfully to work out in daily life a somewhat silly and innocent proceeding doubt on an absence of the powers of observation d this simplicity of mind however is becoming ore and more it takes its rise in an ment of the conscience and may be described as a sense of obligation towards the disagreeable it is the occasion much tyranny in persons and affords but a source of joy to the possessor of it since he is almost ways struggling to to a shifting ideal of conduct prescribed by others it a spirit as far away from the strong ward compelling of the artist or the luminous calm of the philosopher as anything very well can it and the reason and down all the sharp edges of the individuality it takes away all inspiring sense of freedom and leaves the poor cool wandering through a dim world the sport of circumstance and of many but most guides it may be asserted of i think that she belonged this rare admirable and somewhat type of humanity her sense of duty had caused her to be the prey i colonel s wife first of one person and then of another it had prevented her herself freely to any one emotion it had kept her in a constant attitude of self restraint and self life had been but an and dust coloured affair to her she had habitually come in only for the second best for meagre and sorrows that were far from being as robust and as sorrows should be both her pains and pleasures had been set in a low key some women would have found a very sufficient opportunity for rich drama in passages of s career but in her case conscience was supreme and its action was the question of what she ought to feel the position of what she actually did feel and cast a dreary over all her emotions and then the worst of it is such a woman gets so little sympathy a half starved quiet existence such as mrs is simply uninteresting to society at large people generally referred to her with almost as poor mrs knew this she hardly resented it as time went on she grew to accept the definition she became poor to herself and this not with any lingering of sentimental self pity the had still a touch of in it she felt that she was very far from being a success that she was a slightly inconvenient both to her own and to her husband s families a person who never had given or was likely to give cause for congratulations duty had dried her girlish tears for young philip it had compelled her at her mother s desire to accept to accept not only the honourable to his name which filled mrs with such lively self but to accept also his many debts his uncertain his ceaseless wanderings from one foreign watering place to another in search of health actually in search of play duty had made her a very amount of neglect if nothing worse on his part for was not a wholly pleasant person to live with it made her get over the tender sorrow caused by the deaths of two little babies who after the experience of the doubtfully joyful life of this planet decided to leave it for a more peaceful and congenial atmosphere it made her shed tears for her husband on much the same principle as that which had dried them for her lover long finally it made her bow her patient neck under mrs s not easy yoke and obey while she supported materially that well preserved and still vigorous old woman as mrs lover and mistress had said always was more or less of a fool and as mr had replied she was undoubtedly a good one mrs income had never been large and her husband s comforts and amusements naturally stood first in the list of necessary expenses there is something lowering to a woman of gentle birth and refined feeling in struggling with grasping and foreign servants whose respect is carefully regulated by the size of your rooms and the floor on which they are at the time when met colonel at the little red villa her eyes had grown anxious under the many and of her lot her complexion was by no means good her hair had lost all trace of youthful brightness d was freely with grey her features always large liad lost the softness of youth and had become too distinctly her whole face had into an habitual expression of resigned	32
discomfort untouched however with many well bred and could lay to very good breeding on her father s side at all events present a singular resemblance to young turkey mrs with her small head prominent nose sloping shoulders tall figure and general want of generous development reminded one forcibly of one of those lady like but somewhat birds you recognized the fact that she was a good and what is described as a lady but you had after the cheerful insolent self confidence and finely rounded of women either a little above or a little below h in the social scale it has been hinted that married life was not happy one and that her husband s conduct towards her left something to be desired still it is only fair to add that possibly the fault was not exclusively on s side s virtues were not of the order calculated to make her a and sparkling companion and mr was a gentleman of many moods some of them almost lively it is melancholy admission yet a less excellent woman would probably have had more power for good over so many excellent women s sense of humour was she took life hard and anxiously was almost equally alarmed by her husband s fits of depression and by his fits of gaiety she soon grew to be an irritation a weariness to her ht hearted lord and master she represented all the virtuous tedious side of life to him in short he was horribly bored with her one day sitting in the garden of the royal some i colonel s wife eighteen months after his marriage a bright idea came to he had gone through a painful scene with his wife the night before after making some certainly not very creditable to her on the subject of recent losses at et the summer breeze the leaves of the little plane trees and made merry with the long ribbon of the white caps dust and miscellaneous of paper whirled up in a dance off the brown gravel and then sank to rest again curled up the ends of his fair moustache watched a nurse struggling with a couple of children treated a smart young person with remarkably high boots to a somewhat comprehensive stare as she passed in front of him then smiled and his gently as though he had arrive at the solution of a difficult problem grows inconvenient he said to himself quite she shall return to the condition of primitive woman she has all the of a capital beast of burden her she shall walk behind and carry the cooking pot and tha tent poles he went back to his hotel and began forthwith to put idea into execution it saved him a world of trouble it yet it may be questioned whether it made a happier woman or a much better man it is unnecessary to follow the course of poor mrs matrimonial further suffice it to say that inspired m the obligation of duty she obeyed her husband him when he departed this life clad in tl requisite quantity of and since the attitude of woman had through habit become so very natural to her offered herself as beast of burden to her mother and her son on the morning following his entertainment by pierce master demanded that his mother d take him out of doors at a comparatively early hour the nurse who should have been his companion was assisting in the and of mrs s the boy lie said to go down to the beach so of course prepared herself to with his desires he was a pretty child with a round head bright brown hair and rather broad features quick eager light hearted moody like his father his disposition was good as his anxious mother told herself twenty times a day whether it was likely to by jealous worship and absence of discipline was a question she did not ask probably at six years old s disposition had been good too lover and mistress to be taken down on to the beach till he got to the hotel garden and then he suddenly changed his mind the grand hotel at was new in those days and its garden as of very simple construction a square plot of ground the hotel buildings round three sides of it on the street cm which it was divided by high and iron four raised beds planted with palms and bordered with flowers couple of stone fountains on opposite sides each with two broad the upper one supported by three looking and for the rest gravel paths gas lamps and an innumerable company of yellow iron chairs set in long lines the and waiting usually vainly for occupants the flat painted hotel with its wide balcony rows o yellow shutters and red and grey the hills tower up in a quaint outline against the deep blue of the sky when mrs and her boy came into the garden it was sl with sunshine save where the left wing of the buildings cast a sharp edged blue shadow on the ground the long leaves of the palms rattled in the wind alive with the breath of the and the sea the windows of the on the floor stood wide open there was an crisp ess sparkle and freshness in the morning the stone of the fountains fi his longing after the beach i say mother we ll stay here he announced sail boats it s better for my boats than the sea those old waves are so big you know and then you re always about my getting wet mrs dragged a yellow iron chair out of the rank into cool shade and sat down she had tucked up her pretty high with the if instinct of an who is going for a walk she had also put on boots the upper	32
of which were somewhat across the toes and a large turned down hat surrounded by a arrangement in green her circumstances prescribed a black dress and her natural modesty an over jacket both articles somewhat limp in substance and uncertain in cut in her hand she held a large white covered umbrella the outward purity of which had suffered considerably from the action of rain aiid from contact with various foreign objects undoubtedly at this moment mrs in appearance realized very completely the modem idea of the pilgrim and she looked not at home for the best part of ten minutes was completely t colonel wife absorbed in the voyages of his boats across the clear water the noses of the vicious looking his mother sat watching him throwing in a word of warning now and again as he leaned far over the curled lip of the stone basin moments such as these were quite the happiest of her life she had ha boy all to herself she was half ashamed of her own delight ir watching his neat little figure and active movements on this particular morning he looked especially engaging in a clean blue and white linen suit and broad hat leaned bad in her yellow iron chair life for the moment was sweet it was but master speedily tired of his boats and began to search further for entertainment i say mother he cried out suddenly there s the man who was up at s last night he s going to have his breakfast the window just behind you i shall go and have a talk with him mrs gracious sense of the sweetness of life passed away with a flash no don t she answered quite sharply i don t wish you to the boy stared for a moment at his mother he was to such says i m not to talk to because they are not gentlemen isn t he a gentleman he inquired after a moment s reflection the high notes of the child s voice were very audible and the open window of the was directly behind hen poor moved nervously on her chair and her thin face went crimson hush hush she answered we ll go away now we ll go down to the beach you d like to go down to the beach now wouldn t you darling but the darling unfortunately was possessed of an inquiring mind i want to know why i t go and talk to that he repeated he stood in front of with his feet planted well his hat well on the back of his head and an alarming of in his small countenance he seemed to me a very civil sort of fellow he added a little critical air which would have anybody but his poor mother be quiet she said getting up in a condition of the embarrassment you re very tiresome and naughty lover and mistress i j no fm not he responded promptly it s naughty to wet my feet and it s naughty to take off my hat in the sun i haven t done either after which statement of the moral code the boy took a few steps to the right from whence he could command t foil view of the window and the table on which was setting out colonel s breakfast i say good morning he called out to the colonel stood with his back to the window trying rather vainly to interest himself in his letters mother won t tell me why but ae says i t to speak to you why are you so naughty pray pray don t exclaimed mrs red piteous and distracted philip had come down to breakfast feeling very far cheerful he had at considerable cost done what he to be right and yet his mental attitude was by no self he was suffering from the moral which almost invariably follows on strong moral effort he was not so much tempted to regret his past action to go lack on what he had done as to sink into a state of and indifference the colour had gone out of life it had turned and leaden heavy yesterday the world had keen touched with poetry to day the poetry was gone and had become very commonplace and mechanical then too the prospect of an interview with mrs was fc agreeable to him philip had not attempted to e sensations produced in his mind by his meeting with he knew very well that the whole affair was extremely ard and uncomfortable among his letters was a good natured from his sister in law mrs jack as he read it philip s heart towards his old home and his own country he believed he tired of the excitement of the last fortnight he longed to get to less intricate and more normal feelings and surroundings he was in the act of an excuse by which a few days he might travelling with mr who was awaiting his arrival at preparatory to starting for and journey back to the refreshing monotony of when little s shrill voice caused him to suddenly to the window oh i good morning young man he said kindly he could not help feeling a certain interest in the child you are not of me this morning then of course i m not answered the boy with a show of dignity tm not so silly as to be afraid of anything by daylight colonel en s wife m poor meanwhile was suffering a small she was embarrassed enough on her own account added to she was in a fever of as to what master might elect to say next she had moved a little aside and stood in the full blaze of the pitiless sunshine helplessly holding ha umbrella and looking a distressed and british female as colonel stepped out on to the gravel holding out his hand	32
to the little boy that s capital he said smiling never to be afraid d anything in the daylight with the fatal impulse of a very shy person mrs thereupon rushed wildly into speech oh please don t let bother you she began you were just going to breakfast don t let him keep you w are going down to the sea it is such a fine morning that him out early it was very kind of you to promise tt go and see my mother she will be so glad to see you she be ready any time after half past eleven at least i believe sh will be ready by then i am afraid i may not be in but the number of our sitting room is ninety six on the right no on the left i mean of the staircase undoubtedly presented a sorry spectacle to her former lover she had not been a very effective person at any time and a constant carrying of cooking pots and tent poles had by no means increased her power of taking the stage well philip was it pained him to see any w and specially this particular woman at a disadvantage oh thanks i shall find my way he answered then ke looking good down at the pretty boy i am sorry i am leaving here to if i had stayed longer this young gentleman and i might have made better acquaintance i dare say we should find a lot to say to each other i m afraid i presented myself to him in rather a disagreeable light last night he was over excited last night began mrs catching wildly at another subject he had been playing all the afternoon in the i like spending sunday quietly i don t approve of going out on sunday we might just as well stayed in yesterday and gone to see the pierce to day but my mother wished to go yesterday and so d course i could not object she made this confession with admirable simplicity as has already been hinted colonel was a little on edge he gave way to a movement of irritation lover and mistress i still consult other people s inclinations before your own mrs he said i say there s the stopping interrupted and there s that maid of s do you see mother i don t like she called me a troublesome spoilt baby yesterday i m not spoilt and i m not a baby am i now mother as the boy spoke descended from the the conductor too got down his little platform at the back and stood aside waiting politely as for the passage of some person of recognized distinction then mrs pierce emerged within the vehicle gave the smiling conductor a royal sort of bow in passing gathered her black mantle tight down over her handsome bust and shoulders swept in at the iron gates and up the broad gravel drive into the middle of the hotel garden oh i say mother if that maid of s is coming here i stay i shall go down to the beach right off you master in the course of his wanderings about continent of europe had acquired a of intention d a power of expression decidedly beyond his years looked extremely well as she walked up the garden there was an entire indifference to observation and a certain of in her appearance which was impressive come along mother let s go down to the beach said the at his mother s skirts who was nearly opposite to the group by the nt window suddenly turned her head ah you are there she exclaimed quickly coming towards colonel her face was pale almost sallow her brown eyes seemed and there dark circles round them she looked worn aged mrs with a woman s quick reading of the outward signs of trouble said to herself why she as been crying i want to see you at once colonel i must talk to i have something important to say mrs pierce tent on as she came nearer to him she hardly noticed i say though you know he hasn t had his yet the little boy shrugged her shoulders slightly ah that dear child again i quite at your service philip returned courteously the lady he thought looked capable of developing dangerous colonel s wife energy if she was kept waiting he did not care very much his breakfast just then neither did he care very much for mrs pierce s visit for that matter he had delivered he wanted to get away he did not in the least to re open the question and what on earth could she want with him it was a nuisance her down upon him in this violent sort of way but then everything was a disgusting nuisance this morning standing talking or rather trying to talk to mrs in the sunshine without his hat was a nuisance of the first water you will observe that colonel was by no means in an heroic frame of mind we ll go said she was rather sore at heart the colonel s last speech seemed to imply something of reproach and she was particularly susceptible to reproaches sh disliked mrs pierce too chiefly i imagine because was afraid of her she would get quit of these people and b alone with her boy meanwhile stood a tall black column in the centre c the hotel garden i must speak to you alone said mrs pierce go somewhere and sit down and wait she how stupid everybody is to day tha terrible of mrs is not coming back i trust w will go inside here colonel you can have your breakfast and i will talk to you it is simply out of doors chapter vi two ways of true love mrs pierce sat down just	32
opposite to colonel at the other side of the table on which his breakfast was laid ia the window of the she the ribbons of her mantle at the neck and flung it impatiently off her shoulders she her long gloves and drawing them off threw them down on the table before her she pushed her a little back into the soft shadow of the white begin eat she said looking across at hei companion i can talk to you just as well so and it will look more natural if any one passes it is all very well to say begin eat but how on earth is a man of ordinary sensibility still more a man suffering a reaction el if rs lover and mistress after considerable mental excitement how is he calmly to a nicely sole and inquire into the inner mysteries of a hen s t when a woman with such an intense and tragic countenance is sitting opposite to and watching him really said colonel with a feeling something between amusement and annoyance really i think you would find it more comfortable up in the i my breakfast can very well wait no she answered quickly i prefer this give me a cup of coffee if you like to keep up appearances but go on with your breakfast i assure you it will be best philip gave her a cup of coffee and sat down again a man with his mouth full of fish is at a disadvantage unquestionably but then what could he do mrs pierce was conscious of being a little beside she needed all the support she could get from outside things this public situation the associations of knives and forks hot rolls little tables and all the rest of it would ip her to maintain her self control she forward and stirred her coffee speaking all the while rapidly almost as though a lesson learned by heart you told me you were obliged to go away to day you refused to tell me what reasons compelled you to go i think i we arrived at those reasons they do great honour to your delicacy of feeling but they are based upon a mistake i have here this morning to entreat you most earnestly to your decision did not raise her head but she glanced up at him for a moment from under her dark eyebrows the oval of her face was very perfect as she held her head in this position her lips were slightly compressed but that perhaps only increased the beauty of her mouth she was evidently trying hard to keep herself in hand a strange expression in her eyes and the restless action of her hands alone betrayed her inward agitation i should not have trusted to my own opinion in this matter she continued without giving philip time to make any but another person thinks as i do and that decided me to come to you you must remember i have already warned you that foreign ways are different to english ones this must be my excuse for speaking to you plainly and without further we may be in error as to your reasons in that case you have only to tell me so i shall not resent though i shall certainly regret it paused philip had laid down his knife and fork he back in his chair he knew quite well what she colonel s wife was going to say again the queer conviction that a this had happened to him before which had haunted him on th day of his first visit to the villa took possession of it was distressing yet he could not break away from it his seemed in a state of he must let her speak an what would happen happen he was powerless alike to haste or prevent the course of events if said keeping her eyes fixed on the rim of he coffee cup if colonel you have any peculiar in my step daughter if you prefer her oh how shall i pi it will you pardon my saying it you are in o with her don t go away stay you have my leave to do s there is no man on earth to whom i would more willingly than to you philip his elbows on the table and covered his face his hands all the yearning worship desire which left him last night so sad and hungry rushed into his soul he was a strong man j but he shook like a leaf at that moment sat up she watched him keenly and anxious after a few seconds she spoke again in the same low voice i have tried believe me to do my duty by my husband child but a time has come when it would be better far for both of us that she should pass into stronger and safer than mine and in whose keeping would she be so safe as in her father s and my best and truest friend and sure is a very fair trust to offer any man she is very lovely and and sweet tempered she is very winning she seems to carry tl sunshine itself in her smile her charm and brightness are i her own if she has any faults went on slowly th are of my making i have not always been very wise with he poor child colonel looked at his companion as she said last few words she sat staring in front of her and her face very sad the growing all the and of her feeling towards during the past year rushed into hei mind there had been moments when she had come near absolutely the young girl she was still from hei interview of the night before with she had to the colonel that morning in a storm of jealousy of revenge wounded	32
deep enough but it was of a very different complexion it made his brain giddy to look into the depths of this woman s heart her entire disregard of the of her purpose and the fierce sway of her passion were to him he had no words to meet her with no consolation to offer hadn t enough she went on looking up with a sudden flash of anger hadn t she enough i say with her radiant health and youth and beauty with all the admiration society was ready to lavish upon her but she must have this man s love also ah those bright innocent young creatures are so cruel so very cruel their hands are never full enough they clutch at everything in their careless light hearted pitiless way they leave nothing nothing for us older women they won t allow us the they make us starve while they have sufficient to fill a multitude it is the old story of the rich man who with all his flocks and herds must still have his poor neighbour s one lamb hadn t she enough already why couldn t she spare me this man does care for him interrupted philip hoarsely like that mrs pierce answered as you care for the flower you buy for fifty and let for an hour in your button hole but remember she added standing up and speaking very clearly and distinctly remember it is all my fault i do not blame her and i have no right to blame him i thought she would amuse him at first i encouraged their being together i only thought of making the time pass pleasantly for him then lastly in a moment of insanity i committed the error of shutting them up together in the solitude of that hateful little villa i have been a fool and one pays pretty heavily for folly in this world oh take her colonel for pity s sake take her she turned to him laid her hand on his arm and looked at him with eyes wild with entreaty she likes you and she is as charming as a summer s day take her before before s voice had risen almost into an inarticulate cry there was a sound of footsteps on the loose gravel of the garden rs colonel en s wife path just outside and the window was suddenly darkened s ample female figure the colonel and mrs pierce y turned hastily round and moved a step or two apart oh pardon me said mrs looking from one to other with ill concealed curiosity i am afraid i have interrupt r you i was told you were here colonel i was ah of missing you i thought i would just come you know make sure i did not know dear mrs pierce was h too this is unexpected pleasure indeed mrs was not quite a pleasant looking old lady eyes were small and twinkling her red brown hair still was waved and puffed out over her ears there was vivid colour upon her large cheeks and thin li she was extremely gracious and but one mi detect a certain and hardness behind her manner red riding hood s grandmother when she lay in bed with the white night cap tied so neatly under the lower jaw making caressing speeches to that historic but fortunate little maiden must have looked a good deal as did at moments i think gathered herself together in an instant she her usual fine manner and looked very handsome if a trifle as she bowed and slowly settled her mantle into its place w sundry dainty and she was pale still a the dark shade round her eyes had grown almost livid but elder lady s presence seemed to her into calm and s control with remarkable i now i see i am in the way mrs continue v don t pray let me interrupt you i should never forgive if i interrupted you r you don t interrupt us believe me responded with dangerous sweetness i was just going ah now i am distressed really distressed i cried the lady looking from one to the other with sharp glances under which it must be owned philip slight but i just looked in on my way to join and our boy i was passing you see and i should have so missing colonel altogether i must go said please call you will find her waiting in the hall i ll go down to the gate and stop the as she spoke she swept out of the window past mrs i and into the glare of the hot sunny garden i j ah my dear mrs pierce cried mrs after lover and mistress one moment i have been so wishing to express our sense your kindness in but the lady addressed walked straight on her head erect her as folded her full crisp skirts dragging behind her over the path s s words died away the too died out of her does the woman intend to be impertinent i wonder she d half aloud colonel followed by hurried across from the el after mrs pierce to the gate as he came up she tied to him with a courageous smile philip could not help her there was something rather splendid about her ir all ah there is the how fortunate just at the right ment go and stop it then she paused a moment and looked steadily at the colonel you will not go to by the midday train she said she held out her hand to him something of the honest sorrow and pity he felt for this woman got into philip s blue eyes as he answered no i remain here i shall not go to thank you god bless you said quickly there was a sob in her voice she put	32

Subsets and Splits

No community queries yet

The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.