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up her hand and drew l veil down over her face and then made him a charming little of farewell as she stepped up into the as philip revolving many things in his mind walked slowly the gate mrs stout high coloured sharp eyed ip stool in hand met him i really am annoyed at having upon you she said lad i known that you were engaged of course i shouldn t ve come it was stupid of the hotel people not to tell me as she spoke mrs subjected colonel to a and searching scrutiny dear me how he has im she thought to herself and they say he has money n he be seriously occupied with that turbulent widow now had only any spirit but s fond parent s only too well aware that her daughter had the very smallest amount of spirit the colonel was not disposed to be gracious pray don t he said stiffly mrs pierce s just leaving he wanted immensely to get away and be alone but with s drawn up so in front of him it was not ite easy to manage colonel s wife she is a remarkable looking person observed that la i l y of course it is rather a delicate matter to k upon but it does seem a pity that she my nephew so much you know it has him from the rest of family in a way we all regret i can t deny that dear as always such a favourite philip did not reply in a large family like ours such things naturally are talked over you know colonel his relations see so little of him now i have spoken my mind about it more than i was determined to come here and see for myself y rather unwilling but i put it before her as a duty mrs obedience was always notable i observed philip mrs ah poor dear how much she has gone through she exclaimed we act for the best sometimes i reproached myself on her account mrs gently shook her head and closed her eyes one whose thoughts lie far too deep for words but the made no response so mrs re opened her eyes few seconds and returned from her depth of thou with a sort of jerk i detain you she said well i m afraid i must go indoors if you will excuse mi philip assented i have to some orders i g last night the old lady s face became rapidly gracious again you are not going after all delightful she exclaim with a sharp little show of enthusiasm colonel felt compelled to answer though he did nm the least enjoy his actions for mrs s no not for a few days yet and lifting his hat he pass into the house chapter the colonel hands with his fate on the eastern side of but still within the limits of the city there is a retired and it offers a contrast alike to the famous streets with their long li of splendid palaces and their hurrying human t i and to narrow looking by lover and mistress les and passages which with gloomy opening out into q dusky and heavily barred windows high up in the house walls form the less fashionable quarters of the city looking places these last where warm and ancient smells from year s end to year s end d where you almost break your neck in the effort to catch a of the ribbon of radiant blue sky that between t lines of the high house roofs far above on one side the in question is bounded by a sea wall which the waters of the and murmur some fifteen feet below on the other side are earth overgrown with weeds and coarse in which shine b black sides of cannon their gloomy mouths point x beyond the ground rises in the picturesque of a charming villa enclosed on the right by a high wall with and by the sombre of a row of looking westward you command vast of the port with its mass of shipping and blue waters framed in a broad of stately painted uses that rise up the sloping towards gardens d olive grounds guarded above by the purple of the and by a ring of pale ghostly keen and clear against the sky about four o clock in the afternoon following his critical with mrs pierce philip sauntered up the absorbed by a multitude of pressing he had come into on business he had rather through the city till he found himself in this comparatively retired spot it seemed a good ce to rest in for a while and try to arrive at conclusions close by on the left where the earth works ended a quantity shot was piled each dark ball of metal giving off an e of light as the sunshine touched it a with his on his shoulder paced backwards and forwards in front the long grey building of a powder magazine he man was a fine looking fellow his handsome southern face dark and ruddy above his blue grey uniform and under is white linen covered and his white in the sunlight as he moved the regular tramp of the s feet and his tall straight were very pleasant somehow to colonel he back against the broad sea wall and proceeded to light a in a leisurely and abstracted manner he wanted to be quite calm and minded to go through colonel s wife the whole matter from beginning to end first there was his for philip did not waste much time on that point in thi last twenty four hours it had become far too vital a part of him tc need any questioning or careful scrutiny next there was the question whether under the circumstances he was justified in declaring his	32
love to her in doing his utmost to win the young girl mrs pierce s wild words some of them philip tried to forget and put away from him the poor thing was mad he thought had revealed to him a horrible and perilous condition of things at the villa the pity and misery of the situation touched some of the deepest and finest in his nature it was frightful to think of that fair innocent child and the bitter war of conflicting feeling that was being round her all day long frightful to think of her habitually breathing an atmosphere poisoned with the of fruitless passion philip thought and thought weighed his own against the girl s danger tried to look on into the future and seize by prophetic insight an idea of how things would go oi married life for himself and for of the temptations that might arise and must be guarded against tried to get some notion of the whole new world of emotion a experience that lay before him counted too the risk of refusal the disappointment would be terrible last night it seemed painful enough what would it be if it came some weeks hence when the sight of the girl s beauty and charm had become a habit and daily necessity the paced on in the hot still sunshine the beautiful city lay glittering between the purple mountains and purple sea philip turned and looked away to the far southern horizon he felt the critical moment had come the moment of supreme decision which would colour for joy or sorrow his whole future existence there were voices in the garden above a sound of music from the open windows of the villa a train of by with a of bells about their fantastic harness the sea up over the points of rock and gently against the rough of the and the even tread of the soldier beat out through all the rest with an almost and regularity philip s whole spirit was shaken with prayer and strong resolve he was ready to take all risks if god would give him the exquisite gift of this girl s love he would himself henceforth to her service he would keep himself pure and for her sake he would say no word lover and mistress harbour no thought that he need fear to tell her of by tenderness by constant care by absolute devotion he would make her happy he would live for her and her only ay and die for her too if that should seem best he added suddenly half aloud then for a brief interval a great wave of sadness rushed over mm a swift dread of coming pain and disaster j but it passed as suddenly as it had come and hope hope of good things of gracious tender and lovely things ahead there in the coming was dominant in colonel as he made his way hack through the streets that evening so contrary perhaps to his better judgment the colonel gave way cynical persons will smile and remind us that instances are but rare of successful resistance to a certain class of emotions worldly minded persons will complain that there is a of and contemptible in our hero s readiness to take a young lady so very obviously thrown at his head for myself i venture to hold my own opinions concerning my friend s con at this juncture and to cry after him as he goes away filled with the joy of hope and promise good luck to you true heart heaven send you pleasant dreams and no rude awakening ei chapter tries to break her chain meanwhile poor mrs pierce had passed a sufficiently wretched day after her excited expedition of the morning she on her bed half blinded with nervous headache tired out caring whether her d had been a wise or a foolish one only aware of active physical misery as one long hour by after another through the burning afternoon that worthy person within whose flat bosom beat a warm and faithful heart shifted the pillows for her over and over again and bathed the and throbbing head did not ask to have things explained to her she entertained an conviction that the action of some man was at the bottom of every woman s troubles and on that basis was invariably ready to build up a of practical help and tenderness this stern hard woman notwithstanding her face and manner was full of maternal instincts which were wont to find their outward i colonel wife sion silently but very soothingly in the tending of her handsome over mistress you are the most solid comfort i have in life the latter often said to her you are always there to fall back upon and i cannot get along without some one to fall back upon would reply with a smile she did not always think her mistress very wise j but possibly she cared for her none the less on that account even the most devoted of lovers is sensible of a stirring of self complacency in observing the of the beloved one s judgment we must value ourselves above others for something at times or our own society would become tedious even to the most humble minded of us i fancy nor had passed a day very much to her taste either she had been alone and to be alone was one of this young lady s trials mr had gone out for him quite early she had only seen him at breakfast when he had said very little and stared at her once or twice with eyes as mournful as s her step mother had been invisible and had been invisible too a fact which the less regretted as she seldom found that good woman s society very miss was in england colonel	32
was gone wandered about her trouble was doubtless of much the same order as that of a lively which can find nothing and nobody to play with and which over the waste of its energies still though the s sense of discomfort may appear as a very trivial matter to some earnest soul toiling after a great and universal good it is sufficiently trying and absorbing to the itself i imagine the very of its nature which cause its to appear of so slight moment to the afore mentioned earnest soul necessarily making its small the more urgent and the harder for the little creature to bear we are too apt to forget that though the troubles of deep and of shallow natures differ widely in kind they do not differ after all very sensibly in degree a tiny brook may be full to overflowing as well as the mighty river that a quarter of a continent quite late that evening came slowly downstairs her room had become she threw a thin white shawl about her head and shoulders and going out on to the terrace sat down on the seat against the the semi darkness and cool fragrant air of the night were grateful to her after those weary hours of feverish pain she sat still in a lover and mistress condition of mental sensible only that she was physically wretched than she had been and that that in itself was an boon at last the stillness was broken by the sound of a man s footsteps coming up the carriage drive there was something light and yet leisurely in the tread which immediately recognized she remained perfectly quiet hoping that mr go into the house without perceiving her presence she dr meeting him after her late confession to philip almost held her breath and pressed herself back among the foliage of the she felt very weak and d wholly unfit for a part in a dialogue of an and possibly painful character paused for a moment his eye had been caught hy the luminous glimmer of his cousin s white shawl he came straight along the terrace and stood a few paces from her is that you he inquired yes she answered reluctantly it was too dark for either to see the other mrs pierce shifted her position slightly and sighed she was frightened somehow presently spoke again colonel has not gone yet i find i had the privilege of seeing him for a few minutes this evening i am not conceited enough to suppose that he wishes to pick a quarrel with e i am not sufficiently important for that but i must say his was hardly what i should define as the young man waited after he had spoken his silence to compel an answer i knew already that colonel had decided to stay a little longer said so i supposed observed mr there was another silence said at last with a certain tremor in her would you mind very much going away for a week or so thanks cousin he replied i quite appreciate the excellence of your intentions in making that proposal but i t think i quite see my way to leaving just now there s my dear aunt mrs for one thing who has come here with all of zeal to save me from dire so she at least then you know i don t inch care about travelling without i am horribly lazy ut packing and so on and i can t very well deprive you of your x k at a few hours notice colonel s wife i thought it would perhaps be better for every one she humbly i thought it might spare some pain laughed a little oh he returned with all possible sweetness as to x sl we decided on the victim last night pray don t yourself about me i assure you i shall be quite interested in my powers of endurance i have an enthusiasm for torture worthy of an indian just at the present moment mrs pierce had risen hastily while he was speaking and walked towards the house in the doorway she turned round the light from within fell on the young man s slim figure she surveyed him from top to toe there was a of contempt in the expression of her fine eyes yes you are strikingly like an indian she said you dress admirably for the part there is a touch of exquisite for instance in that you are like the in this too that you appear indifferent to the fact th your experiments in self torture may present an intensely disagreeable spectacle to other people raised his eyebrows really he said this demonstration appears to me a for you have got your own way in all s i predicted won t that suffice then he took off his hat and gloves with much serenity composure and followed his cousin in a leisurely manner across the large hall he found her with her head thrown back leaning against wall just at the foot of the staircase good heavens what is the matter you look white as a sheet he cried mrs pierce da lay s lips were tremulous she had a in speaking it is very absurd but i feel as if i couldn t get upstairs very sorry to trouble you but i am afraid i must as you to go and call for me really it seemed a great pity that mr had hi matrimonial prospects so hopelessly for in many ways he f have made an admirable husband he had all the instincts of a first rate nurse he was observant patient delightfully handy and as quickly affected by the sight of physical suffering as the most soft hearted of women i can help you ten times better than he answered here let me come this side of you now take hold of the	32
so she was one f the don t you know and her mother was an s marriage had been a very ripe and full to her because it introduced a of nobility into the but now that poor had been gathered to his leaving his widow little enough beyond his debts and that to her name mrs began to think it was ut time to look out for something solid in the way of yearly it was true was sadly wanting in spirit yet as fe closed her thin red lips over her white d even teeth she flattered herself that very possibly she still had enough for two from the moment she met colonel on that critical evening she had planned a campaign the check which b received from the news of his intended departure only served her activity we are all a trifle disposed to worth of a vanishing good now that she learnt he really posed to stay on the dear old lady set herself gallantly in battle beat the warlike drum and played the inspiring in poor s meek ears not loudly and openly of course but with hints suggestions touching reminiscences of early and well fears for poor darling little s i so early without the healthy moral and social influences of colonel en s wife a father s presence all is fair says the proverb in love and war what then can possibly be unfair where love and war obviously go along hand in hand is a high spirited child she said on occasion when the high spirited child having at last been signed to his bed the two ladies were spending the evening in their little yes i am always very thankful for it answered mr i think it shows he is healthy mrs stuck her white bone needle into her strip o crossed her hands on what had formerly been her waist an prepared for action she was taking her ease in her inn arrayed in a purple and black striped dressing gown and large easy re slippers she had too a little after dinner a that grows upon even the most of us with age and h white lace cap had fetched way during the sweet o sleep and inclined to the left in a somewhat and ill manner but what did that matter even in mrs felt equal to attacking and successfully h daughter of course you can look at it in that way if you like she said sternly but it seems to me a great pity you should b so about the poor child it can t be for his good it often me to put things before you and say things which i d far rather not is anything the matter has done wrong hastily inquired mrs ah that s just like you up in a moment before one has time to explain one s self it is impossible ever to talk over anything quietly with you mrs picked up her and worked diligently for a minute or two she knew her daughter as completely as a knows his instrument she had played on this poor human instrument often enough and was accurately aware how to produce the effects she required mrs moved across and closed the door of communication between the and her bedroom as she did so she paused for a few seconds to listen to the even breathing of her child we might wake him she observed the elder lady worked on in silence if you have anything to complain of in s conduct i should be so glad if you would tell me resumed mrs i know how interested you are in him i always value your advice nineteen twenty twenty one counted mrs yes lover and mistress twenty let me see twenty twenty two so you say at at the same time i observe you generally resent my advice pretty hotly when i offer it to you twenty three twenty four pray don t speak loud my love remember how thin these foreign walls are mrs sat down wearily by the table she was too much accustomed to sweeping to resent them but the anxious harassed expression developed itself very sensibly in her worn and faded countenance twenty eight murmured mrs you spoil d it makes me dreadfully nervous at times nervous for you both you have no head you know you never look ard you merely think of gratifying the child in the passing moment ah if poor had only been spared it would have been a great mercy for that boy bent down and plucked the little bits of and dust off the table cloth with trembling fingers you used to say wouldn t make a good father she d slowly in a low voice no no there you are entirely wrong cried mrs with amazing energy you really have the most memory i certainly never said that it would have been the thing to say and i hope i do hope that i always weigh my words i at all events recognized poor s good qualities he was very fond of children very affectionate a man is almost invariably more thought for his child than for himself i repeat would have the greatest blessing to that unfortunate boy airs picked up her again thirty one thirty two she murmured with dignity upon my word at times one is tempted to think these long suffering humble minded individuals will have a great deal to answer for some day they give so much opportunity for on the part of others whether the interests of public morality are in any degree served by this turning of the other cheek to the is a question which will present itself to one now and again it would have been far for mrs surely if her daughter had told her that she was	32
nothing better than an insolent old tyrant and had then left her to in solitude that truth but did nothing of the kind she knew more was coming and with the patience of a she waited for it wants a man said mrs after awhile in an tone he needs a stronger hand than yours colonel en s wife i do my best but then who will listen to the advice of a po broken down old woman like me mrs sighed and choked a little i am sure mother i always try to do what you murmured humbly the are wild all very wild continued the old lady takes after his father s family he will give you a of trouble yet my dear and you re not equal to it i am to devote myself to you as long as i live whatever it costs m i will never leave you but who can tell i am an old i may be called away at a s notice and then mrs was quite moved she got up went to h mother s side and bent down over her you don t feel ill she said bless me i no not in the least why do you ask in that sudden sort of way i m not a bad colour am i yo don t see anything odd about my eyes being ill was the thing of all others she dreaded death is useful to up as a for dramatic purposes ba at the slightest signs of approaching the lady have sent off post haste for the nearest doctor she recovered hei composure however pretty promptly i m not ill now but i may be any day i lie awake at thinking of you and poor ah well dear mother said mrs softly was not a good husband to you she glanced up at her daughter quickly perhaps i once did you an injury i have tried to repair it i say to everybody and i are one i will never leave her but seeing colonel again has reminded me of many things mrs coloured she stood awkwardly in an uncertain way by her mother s chair s carriage always was poor thought mrs we won t talk of that please mrs spoke with a trace of hesitation it was all over long ago i am not so sure of that you know i never push myself i never ask for your confidence unless you offer it to me i am very of appearing at all i hope i am always delicate in these intimate matters but i am not blind you know and i m not at all so very sure that it was all over long ago mrs closed her eyes and nodded her head emphatically thereby causing her cap to over a little further in the direction of her left ear lover and mistress it seems to me that our meeting with colonel was absolutely then she applied herself diligently to counting her again i don t think i quite understand you mother remarked mildly after a few moments pause mrs cleared her throat with a noise with all her devotion to her daughter s welfare she was sorely tempted to box her ears soundly at times however she managed to the of her irritation you are too modest you always yourself colonel was going he met you in the garden next morning and immediately decided to stay oh it had nothing to do with me he told me that he was it was after mrs pierce s visit he changed his mind mrs looked up sharply ah she said she had received a check mrs pierce is a bold woman she broke out i haven t y too great opinion of her character colonel ought be warned mother do you think you had better interfere asked s in a frightened voice four five six slip one how you do catch one up did i ever say i should interfere but if a person of y age and with my experience may not sometimes try to keep fellow creature from making mistakes it is hard poor philip d men never see through this sort of woman ah what and father he would be if i could see you married to philip i should yes i should and poor little i should die happy the excellent lady had become almost inarticulate her voice was broken and two small tears to make their downward way over the powdered surface of her cheeks but they possessed no very large share of vitality those two tears they became confused amid an intricate system of but ill concealed wrinkles and in fine they never fell was quite overcome by this exhibition of feeling still her natural made her reply in a manner hardly calculated to soothe or satisfy her companion please don t be distressed mother she said but all that is quite out of the question she turned away she was humble minded enough and to spare yet there are certain which no woman can make a of pain to absolute anguish colonel s wife you are too kind to see it but i am old and plain no no man will ever think of me in that way again mrs rose you are talking like a silly sentimental of instead of like a reasonable being of over forty you just as well as i do that a woman must meet a man half way course if she stands up against the wall and waits till he all of his own accord to ask her she may stand up against for ever love at first sight may be taught in to keep little girls out of mischief but it isn t taught anywhere else in the world as far as i know fiddle de cried mrs snapping her fingers fiercely do try to exercise	32
but she fancied he would rise to an artificial fly of very common make so the lady did not worry herself about refined arts and ingenious of purpose she colonel at all available comers in the hotel she planted her camp stool in front of him at all chance meetings out of doors she praised her daughter she mourned over her she that tendency towards on the part of the she alluded to the past she even went so far as to hint at a conscience and at a desire for the man must be a fool or a flint if he doesn t give way mrs said to herself more than once and the man being neither fool nor flint did give way in a degree he was filled with a sincere for mrs founded on an immense disgust for her mother the colonel rarely permitted himself to say hard things especially of a woman but when one morning in the privacy of his own room he found himself referring to mrs as an abominable painted old his conscience did not accuse lover and mistress i un of having committed a grave in point of fact e repeated the epithet more than once and found himself sensibly the better for so doing stiu mrs could not flatter herself that her success in proportion either to her wishes or her efforts she saw so little of colonel after all he was always up at the villa one day she reached the point of she decided to follow him up to the red villa and fairly carry the war into the enemy s country the day in question was hot to the point of in the vain hope of getting a little air from the sea the whole party sat out on the under a great red and striped stretched from the house wall above the window of the drawing and forming a pretty effective shelter from the rays of the afternoon sun the land and sea and danced in the heat mist perhaps it was the heat perhaps there was an sense of crossing intentions and desires among the little group of people i on the certainly the conversation had an to run on dangerous topics was a trifle too vivid tie a trifle too cynical even limp d harassed mrs distinctly under a fine assumption of the colonel somewhat over stiff and dignified who at times appeared to possess a of hardly human of coming storms whether spiritual or physical p about she had been arranging several great w of flowers standing on a table within the open window of the o wing room her charming figure had shown to great as she stretched up to set the graceful boughs in their p e and moved back a step or two to judge the general effect of her philip had sat and watched her he found it a remarkably interesting occupation now she rested just opposite to him on the arm of one of the chairs on the idly twisting the of leaf and blossom that remained over into a dainty little wreath philip still watched her her small white hands with their rounded rosy finger tips were wonderfully pretty a she and arranged the flowers my dear mrs was saying with an air which strove to be absolutely disengaged you are an authority upon hotels and everything domestic i want you to give darling and me the benefit of your experience i have never looked on hotels as exactly domestic institutions returned mr in his soft rich voice but my experience is at everybody s service it is briefly comprehended in colonel s wife one phrase all hotels are more or less and all are more or less does that help you much dear aunt mrs indulged in a sharp edged smile you advise an apartment then she said colonel a little forward towards the girl who are you making that for he asked her she raised her eyes to his face with her usual bright gaze who oh nobody anybody you if you like i was really making it to please myself i like to touch fresh leaves and flowers they feel so nice there see and she laid the half finished in his hand i never advise anything said with rather an unnecessary he stretched himself out lazily in his long cane chair and repressed a i always recommend people to do exactly what they want to do advice is a ninety nine times out of a hundred people don t take it the they do take it with a then of course it turns out badly and they think you an idiot and forgive you mr looked at mrs pierce as he spoke she bent over a large piece of canvas on which she was working a pattern in that piece of canvas had become an institution it had reappeared at intervals for some years much to s irritation possessed but a limited capacity for small her had a curious habit of being crossed alternate ways and at all conceivable angles to whose quick mind seized immediately on the right way of doing a thing and whose fingers seemed incapable of an awkwardness this over on the part of her step mother was an incomprehensible stupidity as mr spoke glanced up at him her forehead was contracted into a frown but whether from a struggle to the mysteries of cross or from some deeper anxiety one could hardly pronounce i don t think you re quite well she said suddenly have you got again mrs looked sharply from one of the to the other she had walked up from the and it had been exceedingly warm in proportion as elderly ladies and rice powder they should physical exertion mrs s small eyes above her cheeks lover and mistress when i was a girl she remarked young men of your age never complained of	32
probably not answered slowly but you see when the members of the medical profession had stamped out all the and small and so on which persons of quality in your youth dear aunt they then observed a probability of their speedily running short of altogether so they immediately set to work and discovered a number of nervous diseases nice convenient things which torture the surface of you so to speak and don t get near anything so vulgar as killing demand supply and the power of faith is unlimited as soon as we idle people were assured of the existence of nerves we began to suffer from them nature has an endless power of herself all things work together for good as colonel would put it in this case it was mainly for the good of e doctors certainly do you follow me dear aunt changed her position impatiently with a kind of richly rustle i really believe it would be cooler indoors she said will you go and play to us the girl gathered up her flowers reluctantly my is of rather a peculiar kind went calmly turning to philip and addressing him with it has proved to many skilled i continue to suffer at times my cousin understands the case better than any one else i believe e is great on medical matters you know she studied them in with a scheme for the condition many houses she to an excellent little i wonder if youve any of the reports by you y were delightful reading a little society for sending out ladies of middle age and morals to i the it was an understanding i may mention by that the ladies selected should be distinctly plain together it was a remarkably interesting scheme but somehow ij husbands and fathers did not quite seem to see it hey mrs pierce got up hastily you are absurd you are intolerable she cried am i he inquired i am so sorry i was der the impression that i was agreeable the conversation to i was merely doing my humble best to your guests he rose slowly as he spoke colonel s wife shall i bring the sacred carpet indoors he added to mrs pierce s somewhat colossal piece of do as you like she answered with a touch of temper i was just going to tell you colonel resumed with much composure when my cousin interrupted me about my my cousin has been good enough to interest herself very much in the subject we have talked it over a number of times our quiet life here you know it one to be a little personal we have at the conclusion that the case is rather serious that in short i from of the heart it is a dangerous affection it has been known at times partially to obscure the reason colonel was standing up too he looked full in the young man s handsome brown eyes as he answered upon my word then i should do my best to find a cure at once if i were you a man s life t be worth very much but as long as he does live there can be no question as to the advantage of his keeping his reason true murmured mr with a slight lifting of the eyebrows quite true though just a shade brutal perhaps in th statement of it yet in some ways it is singularly interesting t hear you say that now like a delightful little leave off weaving memorial for me or o colonel if he likes them that was the phrase i think and go and play to us it appears to me we all require soothing turned from him with a slightly gesture she looked round at the rest of the company you are really coming in she asked i don t like being alone i play much better if i know people are listening i am invariably ready to come and listen mildly you are all very well the girl answered looking down and her little wreath but you are not quite enough to be inspiring by yourself you know oh we ll all come cried mrs pierce hastily she moved a step or two aside with a sweep of full crisp skirts and turning to mrs smiled and her to pass in at the open window mrs to rise but her chair was low and sh was not always very in these days can i help you mother asked coming towards her mrs paused a moment before replying then sh said lover and mistress no my dear i think on the whole i ll remain where i am you will excuse my not coming in with you oh most certainly pray don t move responded with considerable alacrity colonel you ll stay with me now won t you mrs went on i have not seen you these two days past for more than a minute at a time and there is nothing if i may say so which i enjoy more than a quiet chat with you as one grows old you know one does so value good conversation i have said to more than once now colonel talks really well none of that light senseless talk one hears so much of now but real good it reminds me of the sort of thing i was accustomed to years ago in poor mr s lifetime we lived very much in political society then you know ah one so seldom meets a good nowadays however admirable his speech might be philip could also command a convenient power of silence when it suited him to do so he bowed a mute acknowledgment of his companion s polite observations her mature not to say over ripe were eminently distasteful to him all the more so just now he saw mr within in	32
very close to the piano for her yet he could hardly desert mrs after her late address philip s code of good manners certain sacrifices of him and he made them as a rule without i often think said mrs in a low confidential tone her eyes raising her right hand and then dropping it with a little on her lap yes i often think to myself colonel ah what a difference when i see my own dear and our hostess side by side i i observe people a great you know at my age what is there left for one to do but observe and strive to help a little now and then philip silently again what on earth could he y the difference was sufficiently marked and not the most courteous minded of men could pretend it was very sensibly in poor mrs s favour i know what every one would say mrs continued th an air of remarkable maternal prejudice and all j sort of thing you know when i talk in this way but i look dow the my dear colonel and the difference between two women in heart in temper in feeling in real devotion greater than any merely external differences meanwhile had begun playing the girl usually colonel en s wife selected somewhat dramatic and music her taste was not by any means regulated either in her choice of pieces or manner of rendering them by the ordinary english standard there was a dash of something audacious and professional in her style of playing which had been known before now to excite not only surprise but alarm in the breasts of her certain worthy ladies for instance who consecrated their superfluous energies to the cause of the german jews were little short of by s musical performances and had left her step mother s in on more than one occasion with their ears and an uncomfortable feeling that they had been assisting at something little short of an in the way of sound i am not prepared to maintain that even philip himself was not startled at moments by the unmistakable passion which this slender dainty innocent eyed maiden contrived to throw into her playing if he had heard any other girl play in that same broad fearless fashion he would have been disposed to call it the least bit but the colonel s critical faculties were obscured where this individual girl was concerned stood alone in his mind and could no longer be subjected to the careful measuring out to other mortals there is a love a dear old fashioned simple love rarely enough found now i fear which swallowed the beloved object whole so to speak which ignored overlooked defects refused to admit the most patent of facts if they threatened to in ever so slight a degree from the absolute perfection of the loved one philip s love was of this order call it foolish if you will it is also perhaps very sadly beautiful just as mrs concluded her speech concerning the of remembering that fair without is sometimes foul within stopped playing abruptly the air still with the storm of sound that had gone before she turned and glanced round the room where is colonel she asked in her clear tones didn t he come in he preferred the and my dear aunt s society it was who answered opened her eyes very wide then seeing philip standing outside colonel do you really prefer it she cried looking at him and smiling the rapidity with which mrs heaved herself up out of her low basket chair and interposed her person between philip and the open window was positively go on go on dear girl we hear you out here lover and mistress delightful music don t stop pray she said waving her hand in an encouraging yet imperative manner laughed to himself he leaned down above the girl s fair head and whispered when you are as old as my aunt mrs will you know how to get your own way as well as she does dashed her hands fiercely at random on the her forehead was drawn into quite an angry frown i hate that ill old woman she said with her little white teeth set hard together and you bore me with your odious questions mr his elbow on the top of the piano and considered the girl thoughtfully for a minute or so he had never seen her in quite this humour before and it puzzled him dear me he murmured i wonder just how much that means as soon as was safely employed again mrs faced round upon philip there was a challenge in her bearing she knew she had ventured pretty far now my dear colonel we can go on with our talk in peace i hope she said but the colonel by this time had thoroughly lost his temper it seemed to him that mrs had put herself outside the of persons to whom one is bound to show respect and consideration he had no intention of making a scene but he was prepared to treat her with little mercy upon my word mrs he replied i am not at all that i care to talk no ah well then i will talk and you shall listen she said still the window with her large person philip laughed the impudence of this woman was unfortunately i am not inclined to listen either he responded looking her straight in the face and slowly pulling the ends of his moustache then that brave old lady mrs showed the metal she was made of she put her hand boldly through philip s arm and held him so oh i but you must colonel she cried i have a dozen words i am bound to say to you come with me to the other end of the to resist to hang	32
you i pay for my dinner at six o clock and i don t care to spoil it mrs laughed again one must allow poor lady that just then she appeared book fourth the promised land chapter i question and answer p stood there on the after mrs he saw there was only one course open to him she his hand he could no longer but must play st card at once and yet he would have been very glad little to make more sure before he put it to the proof lose it all he hardly dared think what it would be to e now mrs s parting words rang in his ears e hardly took them perhaps in the sense in which she en them the folly of his love lay to him not in the hat was natural enough but rather in the hope of being return then came to the window she carried a large aw hat in one hand and her red umbrella in the other was getting low in the west its level rays streamed in coloured and lighted up the slight form of the he stood framed in the open window with the back f the dim drawing room behind her philip looked at few seconds in silence she was very young she was pretty impossible he thought to himself she will refuse then well men have had as sweet hopes knocked on before now and will again i suppose only i should i more time s face was not as placid as usual her mouth id there was a delicate line between her brown eyebrows perhaps you did just as well to stay out here she said i played very badly colonel en s wipe she came on into the yellow glare of sunshine those people worry me and says inconvenient thin it is so easy to be pleasant and happy i can t think why need ever be anything else suppose said the colonel gently we go away for little while and forget troublesome people and the speeches will you come with me up the hill yonder and see t t sunset he felt the words were not without a grain of h i a it was difficult to be original at this juncture tell me first before i settle whether i will go and look a the sunset or not whether you really preferred staying out here with mrs to coming indoors with the rest of us t i girl asked i disliked immensely staying out here philip replied with some warmth of feeling i stayed simply because i couldn t help myself s face brightened now we will go for our walk she said i want to get out i feel strange and restless perhaps it will be up there the little wood crowning the hill behind the villa is a place it is thick with oak and pine trees rising among a tangled of white heath and a quaint suggestive little wood fringed along the edge of it with grass and wild flowers and possessing a number of narrow paths crossed here and there with knotted roots or soft with a brown of fir needles which turn and twist and wind in and out till they make the small space seem quite vast and imposing the effective way of approaching this pleasant wilderness is to pass along the level strip of above the house to the left turn at right angles under some old olive trees up a narrow where tall grow and clatter their hard stems and long leaves together with a sharp dry sound in the mountain breeze pass the old where the keep up their chatter and then crossing a space of coarse grass dotted with of heath through which grey stone crops out here and there to enter the wood from the rear a path leads on right through it to the highest point of the hill where stands a half circle of white marble things upon which have crept and on which have gathered patched together with and scraps of ancient carving probably of a roman this open space is shaded by some pines and a couple of oak trees their trunks bent and their branches cut over by the rush of the sea the promised land wind it commands the same view as the villa below but the expanse is wider the horizon higher the sense of freedom and solitude more complete as genius of this retreat some long ago owner of the villa has been pleased to set up on a tall carved a marble image of pan with his broad chest shaggy goat s legs horns and ears but pan alas has changed sadly since those far off early days when as a strange and awful presence the mysteriously joined to the brute beast in the solemn twilight of summer mornings he crossed the among the sleeping or wandered from the mountain and fragrant mountain to the by the in the fertile plain below and brought good luck to the wild hunters and the heart of youth and maiden with the piercing sweetness of his pipe yes pan has changed and for the worse under the hand of the italian artist too often what it touches pan has lost his pan is chiefly beast now or at best beast bound to a degraded manhood he has looked on the lust of the flesh and the pride of life on the gorgeous corruption of imperial and rome he knows he is a creature of a monstrous birth and the knowledge has made him foul while the sharp blue shadows of the oak leaves and fir needles played over his marble limbs in the evening sunshine there was something almost devilish about the image of pan keeping watch on the above the little red villa his wide full lips parted in	32
a wicked smile there was an evil in his heavy eyelids and a in the eyes the beating winter rains had left ugly and upon him and his pipes and the hands which held them were broken and philip and came up silently through the wood the girl was still under the dominion of some unusual influence she had not regained her ordinary gay light hearted bearing and philip was too fully possessed by the thought of the thing he must say to her to have any small talk at command flung herself down on one of the moss grown benches and pulled off her hat she was strangely moved and excited oh i am so tired of this place she cried looking away over the broad landscape it is always the same except that sometimes it rains nothing ever happens one day is just like another and then i think of all the different countries i have never been to and the great cities and all the beautiful quick vivid life that is going on elsewhere where i cannot reach it and i colonel s wife i could cry with vexation and longing why does mamma me here like a bird in a cage with that horrible old mrs mi too and staring at me through the wires and nothing to do but to hop up and down and take my grain of and drop of water i want to go away away away everywhere see it and know it all you have moved a you have wandered don t you understand i feel like in the spring time when they stretch out their long wings and go northward oh i am tired to death of this p why can t i leave it for ever philip straightened himself up the crisis had come sooner than he had expected it this wild mood of s him a higher hope a better opportunity than he could reckoned upon yet still it was difficult to speak the his own emotion was almost terrible to him as he looked a lovely face of the girl pure lived men when they way to love do it in a somewhat tremendous fashion al strength of their manhood and un wasted r forth in a flood of worship and desire he said at last very gently there is one s which you may leave all this that you are so tired of behind and begin a new life something in the tone of colonel s voice girl s attention strongly she rose up tall and straight in of him while the sunshine rested on her bright curly head looked deep into his blue eyes with a wondering expression what way she asked i am almost ashamed to tell you he answered you have so much to give and i have so little to offer in r i am as a very beggar before you but there is only this one which i can help you i love you love you wit whole soul i lay my heart at your feet take or leave it a will it must be yours always just the same but take it he said take it and then come away with me as my wife the sun was sinking in a blaze of white light behind the i purple and the below lay dim shade only a high standing painted villa here and among the rich woods and gardens caught the level rays c rows of windows and glared for a moment like a house of f the shadows lay long and dark across the turf and under the t and the marble pan from his and smiled a as he laid his curved lips to the holes in his broken pipe h sun dropped suddenly and the west grew pale and th the promised land crept up quickly stealthily over the and the trees over the waiting lover and his mistress while the limbs of the old pagan god seemed to gleam with a weird light of their wn in the dusky wood behind them now the kindly sun as gone dearest answer me cried philip passionately can you care for me can you trust me will you come the girl turned her head for a moment as the sunlight died d the chill shadow came up over her she gave a little shudder then she looked up at the colonel yes she answered softly i will come took her two hands in his and then stepped back her at arm s length he let his eyes rest steadily on her lovely face on every line and curve of her graceful figure he at his love long and carefully and behold she was very fair his face grew pale the strong man could have given ay utterly at that moment and sobbed aloud it was too sweet too wonderful he felt as though his heart within him must break love ah god help me he said yes it is very awful this desire of utter self surrender this wild this madness of yearning towards the thing we love it k deeper than any mere gratification of the senses is have called it hard names and nearly split their brains over trying to solve the problem trying to bridge the chasm between me and the not me the subject and the object the the phenomenon name it by what crack word you ill the struggle is old as existence but the lover of all n dares attempt a solution most and desperate when he casts his life down blindly at his mistress s feet for alas i the chasm can never be the limits of nature are set and we can never cross them though lips p ess lips never so fondly and hand clasp hand never so closely i mind meet mind in the fullest illumination of friendship	32
in the little wood behind the red villa and s wedding he himself he paid frequent visits to friends in and to mrs who under the plea that the house proposed taking at was not yet ready for her lingered on still at he really manifested most powers of endurance indeed from the moment the engagement was publicly announced he bore himself so bravely that began to fancy she had over estimated the strength of his feelings towards her step daughter and this fancy gave her new hope and courage she threw herself into the situation invited friends from to be present at the wedding expended both money and energy upon the girl s and made arrangements with a somewhat with the manager of one of the principal hotels in for many reasons it seemed desirable that the wedding should not take place there in the country the party from the villa would meet their guests in the day before the wedding mrs pierce promised herself that it should be quite a brilliant little affair everything in short seemed to be going off admirably when an unexpected stumbling block and rock of offence turned up in the shape of that devoted waiting woman i am sorry ma am she said one evening as she laid her mistress dinner dress out on her bed and pinched the lace in the sleeves of it into shape but i shan t be able to go with you on tuesday that new maid of miss s can manage very well for you both for one night i shall stay here till you come back turned round upon her hastily really at times you are extremely it at all kind or nice of you to make difficulties just now why on earth can t you come the promised land stooped down aad arranged some on the front of the dress which had got a trifle astray with the utmost composure and precision my feeling is against it ma am there are things you know beforehand you d better keep clear of if you want to have your easy when you say your prayers of a night mrs pierce flashed out angrily you are simply it s all very well to talk about an easy mind and so on you are dreadfully jealous of s new maid you want to make us all thoroughly uncomfortable just because you fancy you are no longer absolutely indispensable very likely replied grimly i suppose nobody cares much to see they can be done without but i ain t going all the same ma am jealousy or no jealousy she knelt down before her mistress and carefully put on the latter s neat evening shoes in doing so she remarked it seems to me a fearful sort of thing to give a mere child like her over to a man to do what he likes with i don t want to see her married poor thing no nor him either there s no saying where it ll all lead to for either of them i don t object to a funeral now it s comfortable in a way you know it s all over and finished and you can t be held but i don t care about the other rose to her feet you ve a hair pin coming out ma am no there near the top to the left not but what i think very well of colonel as men go she added rather however followed up her speech with a which seemed rather to the worth of this admission and suggest that in her opinion even the best of men could not be expected to go very far mr too sounded a somewhat note more than once in conversation with his friend he had travelled back from whither after fruitless waiting for the colonel at he had himself to act the part of best man at the coming ceremony mr was naturally under ordinary conditions the society of some fifteen or twenty agreeable people with an infinite capacity of talking well about nothing in particular would have put him into high good humour but somehow the presence of mrs pierce s guests gathered together in the large hotel did not have a effect upon him his native cheerfulness appeared to be in it all seems so hurried you know he colonel en s wife said when he got philip alone for five minutes of course you know your own mind and all that sort of thing and i have no earthly business to offer an opinion on the subject i know that and of course she is pretty she l make an immense success in society at home don t be angry my dear fellow if you will marry a young lady of a thousand you must make up your mind to a little of that sort of thing but all the same i wish it hadn t been done like this in a corner as you may say if your people had seen her and so on it would be different then as the colonel began to manifest signs of impatience not to say of anger he cried out there there i beg your pardon fifty times over if i have annoyed you of course it s all perfectly right only upon my word mr turned away and blew his nose confound it all he said i am so awfully attached to you you know was not in the habit of seeking private with her step daughter she was very well aware that their relations were more satisfactory in public than under the and intimate influences of a d but on this last night before handing her dead husband s child over into philip s keeping she had a strong necessity upon her to see and talk with the girl once more alone the instincts in s strangely blended	32
under all circumstances yes decidedly i will do my best to find colonel escaping from the affectionate of mr arrived just in time to hear s last words the two men exchanged a not altogether friendly glance and merely bowed to each other outside in the hall turned suddenly to her husband she passed her hand through his arm and clung to him with a strange vehemence philip will you promise always to be as kind to me as you are now she cried my darling he exclaimed what a question he was half pleased half pained by the girl s earnestness god forbid that you should ever find me one whit less kind i am not much given to changing i must always love you better hold you dearer than life itself philip s expression was very tender and pathetic as he looked at her a little crowd of friends backed by all the of the hotel who could not forbear making the most of this opportunity of sight seeing and thronged into the hall after them colonel s wife recovered herself quickly she had an innate regard for appearances she passed out to the carriage brilliant smiling and apparently light hearted as usual mon whispered a french to garden near her but how young she is and how pretty i wait a little there will be three to the one of these days her companion smiled spread out his hands with an air of wide and varied experience and replied ah one cannot they are english the habits of the english are extremely droll the hall of the hotel was destined to witness another episode of a somewhat penetrating character before the close of colonel s wedding day had arranged to set out on her drive back to the villa about half past five o clock by that time her guests would have gone their several ways and the traffic on the road would be less heavy in the evening a little before the she came downstairs the glory of the day was over and had exchanged her wedding finery for one of her ordinary black dresses with its many crisp and over it she wore a long light coloured coat to preserve her clothes from the dusty horrors of the high road the excitement not only of this day but of the several months had come to an abrupt termination and with the reaction was already setting in her plans had everything had worked perfectly she could assure herself almost without a that she had done the best for everybody for for colonel and for too in the long run though at present he might be a trifle slow to acknowledge it people are so blind at times to their own highest good i for herself she had brought a relation of a difficult and nature to a happy close she had herself from a situation which had threatened to become actually tragic on the face of it she had every reason for self just now she should have folded her hands thanked a providence for past and looked towards the future with confidence and serenity but in point of fact she did none of these comfortable things as she came slowly downstairs into the great cool hall with its plants and palms in green wooden boxes and its small army of smiling and lounging about and staring good at ihe streams p crossing and sing each other on pavement t tbe crowded movement of the broad the promised land was tried and worried she was singularly incapable in the small affairs of daily life she had been obliged to pack her own trunk and s maid having departed with her mistress and this simple business had caused her considerable embarrassment she felt cross with injured at her desertion and then too she had never contemplated this dull uninteresting space of time when the old excitement would be over and no new one would have appeared to take its place to do justice i must insist upon the fact that she had looked no further planned for nothing beyond s marriage that had presented itself to her as the end to be attained as the supreme solution of all and difficulties what might happen later she had but very vaguely imagined all must then go well she supposed but she had shrunk with a creditable instinct from exploring the of the future even in thought it was the nature of the woman to fling herself with almost hysterical vehemence in pursuit of a definite object consequences side issues with a childish now her object being attained she found herself suddenly face to face with that future and at a moment too when she felt particularly ordinary commonplace and disturbed by the vulgar details of existence a sense of uneasiness and laid hold on mrs pierce as she waited for her carriage she looked out at the bright dusty picturesque for a minute or so and then turned and glanced towards the door of the smoking room in the corridor on the right from whence she expected every moment to come and join her she hated delay she bit her lip and patted her neatly shod foot on the marble floor with growing impatience the hotel manager a middle aged italian blessed with a sleek white face closely black hair and an air of indescribable benevolence came forward rubbing his fat hands and bowing he regretted immensely that madame should be kept waiting but it still wanted some minutes to the hour she had named in her esteemed command for the carriage he could never express his gratitude to madame for her goodness in selected his hotel as a suitable locality where might be accomplished the interesting event of the morning ah and by the way mr the gentleman who had left by the half past ur o dock train had	32
him with a letter for madame which he now did himself the honour to present to her on receiving it he had proposed to permit no delay to deliver it to i o colonel s wife her immediately but the gentleman had instructed him to wait till madame was leaving grew nearly as white as the marble her feet as she took the note that the beaming italian held out to her a great horror came over her a sudden frightful self revelation but she mastered herself she thanked the manager for his courtesy the arrangements had been admirable in every particular they left nothing to be desired the man laid one thick white hand upon his wilderness of shirt bosom and bowed with speechless ah but there was the carriage at last as madame no doubt perceived in three seconds her baggage would be placed so now might he have the honour of assisting her to enter it she walked out to the carriage firmly and even contrived to make one or two suitable little speeches to the engaging italian by the way which under the circumstances was little short of heroic but her heart was like a stone she had no need to read letter she knew quite well what was in it already mrs pierce drove through the magnificent streets with their solemn splendour of building and their restless charming grotesque human figures through the long arid straggling beyond the and out on to the dusty high road sitting stiff and upright in the carriage while the yellow evening sunshine poured down upon and her the great blue rushed up against the sea wall on the left behind the tall narrow and flat market gardens and broke in clouds of snowy foam with a deep mouthed roar which might be heard above all the of and shouting and swearing of savage looking drivers and rattle of wheels and grate of on the high road dusty roses hung over the high walls on the right and richly coloured glowed amid the cool glossy green of their old walled gardens now and again there was a block of or mule trains and the carriage drew up for a while in the midst of a struggling mass of straining animals and yelling human beings ordinarily would have been exceedingly well aware both of the beautiful and repulsive elements in her surroundings but as it was she saw and nothing she had glanced at the first few lines of s farewell letter and a shame a so had overtaken her that the drama of sea and sky and sunset of the contrast between the dignity and the of the scene before her was thin and insignificant compared with the depth of her own emotion the promised land i i good are unpleasant things wrote we have had plenty of them already to day so dear cousin i venture to spare myself the pain of saying that odious word to you of course i don t for an instant permit myself the impertinence of supposing you contemplated my remaining your guest after today s presence satisfied les you are too kind to give me my but i understand read no further mistaken exaggerated even at moments cruel as she was the springs of womanly modesty still rose pure and within her she with passionate disgust and horror good heavens that a man should ever have cause to say such things to her that she should have been so utterly blind and stupid in her mad desire to clear the way to get rid of the obstacle that seemed to between herself and the thing she longed after as to have ignored the obvious result and so herself she had been too hot headed she had played too high and lost everything including her own self respect and then in an agony of terror she began to ask herself whether she might not have the ruin of other lives besides her own the only safe thing after all is to leave events in the hands of fate or providence say which you will directly petty human purpose comes in trying to or to its own uses the actions of others so soon does rise up and follow on after us on on with ever footsteps till the sound of her terrible tread is in our ears and we feel the awful gloom of her approaching presence but she may pass us by oh yes pass us the leave us in peace and comfort pass us to crush to to those whom we used so as tools and it is easy enough to set the machine of destiny in motion but once the great wheels are turning spinning no mortal hand is strong enough to stay them again the dusk had fallen when the carriage drew up at the front door of the villa the house looked grim and deserted a dull light was burning in the bare cold hall the driver pulled the bell and on the of the half open door but the noise he made nothing more substantial than a dreary echo utterly weary and self mrs pierce got out of the carriage and went indoors in the of the hall she could perceive but one living creature one being there ready to welcome her home on the low marble pillar ending the at the bottom of the staircase sat up together his colonel en s wife face more wrinkled anxious mournful than ever as came in at the door he out his neck peeping and peering into the darkness behind her with quick uneasy of the eyelids and eyebrows he had on the little red tattered jacket in which sometimes clothed him in cold or rainy weather while on the narrow bosom of it with a truly italian taste for staring had pinned a large bunch of orange blossom tied with a bow	32
of white satin ribbon when the monkey s quick instinct assured him that his master had not come home too he turned fiercely on pointing grinning chattering at her with impotent there was a light in the creature s sad eyes and something absolutely hideous in its furious gestures and exhausted could not bear it she called aloud in terror and agitation and her voice rang up the cold white staircase and through the empty silent rooms of the little red villa they are all all gone she cried and i am here alone in this horrible place he has taken away everything that i love and you she pointed wildly at the monkey you are all he has left me a straight harsh grey figure came down hurriedly from the upper story god help us i she cried what s the matter what has happened mrs pierce flung her arms round the faithful woman s neck and burst into a passion of sobbing ah my dear my poor dear lady she murmured are there none of them left but me to take care of you come away ma am come away you re worn to death with all this silly turmoil and worry come upstairs with me quietly to your room there just what i always say you can t put dependence on any man that feather headed old promised me he d be sure to be here to meet you and take down the boxes chapter iv telling of leisure of love and of a sunday evening the afternoon sun was warm on the high red brick wall warm on the grey and rusty that it and on the hanging plants of with their rosy stems round shining leaves and delicate purple and white flowers that had rooted themselves here the promised land and there among the joints of weather worn it was warm too on the tall of scarlet white wind flower and summer in the broad border just below warm on the southern front of the long low house with its rough coloured walls half hidden under climbing roses and its wide with their carved clap boards warm on the upward stretch of ruddy roof and the two enormous twisted chimney above warm finally pleasantly soothingly on philip as he sat in a garden chair on the gravel walk just in front of the flower border with his legs crossed his hat down over his eyes and a half consumed the blue smoke rings of which curled lazily out and up in the still air between his fingers in front of him lay the level green expanse of a lawn with bright flower beds on either hand ending in a gentle slope of grass and a space of half wild ground such as our forefathers would have termed a planted with little of and laurel and by several good oak trees a couple of and a tall dark a trifle from the force of the winds on the left stood the house and on the right across a sunk fence was a good sized meadow a couple of old headed spanish whose first withered leaves fluttered slowly to the ground rose from low above the of rich deep grass the elms in the too had been lightly touched by the golden fingers of autumn a yellow bough here and there showing like a sudden leap of flame amid the otherwise dense and uniform foliage away beyond the meadow between the trunks of the further elm trees were stretches of rolling pasture and gleaming corn land with here and there the blue shadow of a wood or the red roof of a distant cottage or breaking the long dark lines of the hedges and over it all lingered the soft haze of the sunny september afternoon changing the heavy landscape into a land of mystery and enchantment the wings of the as they danced up and down up and a foolish short lived multitude in the broad sun shafts and painting the distance in tones as tender as the shades on a dove s breast now and then across the lawn there drifted one of those milk white on which like a cloud angel in a holy picture with a difference clinging tightly with all his many legs sits a small spotted brown spider looking at him you wonder how he first contrived to set his fairy boat colonel wife afloat on this ocean of warm air but you may just go on wondering for no one can answer the question only like some wise careless alike of past and future calm and satisfied with that only true possession the immediate present the little brown spider on over flowers and turf and fruitful in the pensive sunshine he knows not whither a congregation of house with short stout legs and hopelessly vulgar figures chased each other in and out of half a dozen deserted nests under the house amid much noise and chatter while above on the of one of the twisted chimneys a respectable cock his full of the remains of a large stood swearing horribly anxiously desiring to present this morsel to his of dirty children who to him from a in the close by and yet fearing to reveal their already far too conspicuous dwelling place to the colonel quietly smoking his in the garden the whole scene was a peaceful and pleasant one and philip was quite in the humour to relish it he had an agreeable sense of physical and spiritual well being a long tramp over the fields yesterday at after and the mildly influences of a sunday afternoon following on a sunday morning produced in him a condition of amiable which rendered sitting still there in the sunshine and looking silently at the garden and the country the quick glancing life of the birds and measured movements of the cattle in the meadow	32
a peculiarly congenial occupation he felt that the lines had fallen to him in pleasant places he was content and good heavens how very much that means life had given him all he had asked for in the last few months and he was simply thankful like the philosophic spider he floated along in a serene spirit upon his thread of the present was surely enough for him the present just now indeed seemed exquisite for to tell the truth colonel s outlook had altered since the dreary evening less than a year ago when he had waited for his dying father s summons in the silent house at he had eaten freely of the fruit of love since then and the taste of it had awakened the hopes and instincts and dreams of his early manhood again it is not for me to say whether this move on his part was a or one i gladly leave the delivering of judgment to others and stick to my plain business of anyhow it is certain that the colonel had grown tired of his old occupations the promised land tired of war with all its horror and somewhat questionable glory tired of fighting and marching of the boom of cannon and of and still more tired of peace of and its wide dark with fir trees and with tired of and garrison towns of endless military shop and military tired too of indian and biting tired in short of all the pomp and circumstance of our invincible british army it would seem that when colonel married his charming wife he somehow his sword he developed an longing to go back home again to settle quietly down among wide pastures and to spend his days according to the simple easy pattern common to so many of his forefathers a considerable had been raised when philip announced his intention of leaving the service his friends declared it was a fatal mistake that had still a career before him if he would only take the trouble to exert himself even persons in high places condescended to mildly with him colonel was too good a man to lose he was so extremely and but philip had taken the bit between his teeth there was a vein of sentiment in him such as makes even the most reasonable and modest of men at times curiously indifferent to public opinion he went resolutely some people said his own way so the colonel turned his face he took the house at two miles out of and about eight as the crow flies from he a small and some hundred acres of land bought a pair of carriage horses for his wife proposed to get a couple of hunters before the beginning of the season if he could afford it and turned his attention seriously to questions of sheep pig and fowl houses his brother jack behaved very nicely at this juncture farming s simply the most rotten business out my dear fellow he said believe me you might just as soon put your money down the nearest well or invest it in but if you really mean to go in for that sort of thing you know ive got a couple of first rate short horns i could let you have want some good cows they pay you know if youve got your market handy pray don t say a word about it my word i want to get rid of them it s not the slightest favour i assure you and there s a pretty little too beautiful thing with a head like a deer and splendid quarters colonel s wife you d better just let me throw her into the lot she d please your wife ladies like fancy cows you know short horns are a bit too solid for em another day mr jack made yet further efforts towards the supplying of stock i ve got some uncommonly good pigs he said you must just have a look at them pure you know my father always would keep them long and low no leg to speak of and a back like a dinner table make prime bacon pigs but there s a prejudice against them in this country i can t get any sale for them now at though in point of fact those ugly brutes they breed round here can t hold a candle to them i ll send you over two or three to try no my dear fellow for goodness sake don t thank me you ll do me a real favour in taking em off my hands thus did the colonel speaking beat his shield into a and his sword into a hook and as he sat idly watching the dancing in the sunshine on that quiet sunday afternoon he was very far indeed from thinking that in so doing he had been guilty of a mistake presently the cock who after much noisy debate deciding in favour of a bold policy had delivered over the remains of the to his hungry broke forth into such a torrent of scolding that philip roused from his vaguely pleasant reverie looked up to see what was the matter across the short turf of the lawn came towards him the young lady had changed but very slightly during the five months that had elapsed since her marriage she had collected a number of new impressions and passed through a number oi new experiences but they had failed to leave any very definite traces on the brilliant highly polished surface of her personality she still possessed the same gay humour the same freshness the same quality and philip was still wholly devoted to her he had not got in the least accustomed to her though he had exchanged the relation of lover for that of husband an exchange which alas i too often takes	32
off the keen edge of a man s interest in a woman the girl was to him as as ever she provoked him into quick attention twenty times a day he watched her as one watches the flickering reflections of running water on some bank by a stream side one with their endless change and motion and joyous sparkle it must not be supposed however that philip was about his wife or that he fell into the and tiresome habit of her in season and out of season of singing an everlasting the promised land hymn in her honour and calling upon his friends and relations to join in the chorus he was both too and too proud a man to do that and his love for his wife was far too deep and a sentiment to have any inclination for itself in the face of the every word and look had an almost sacred value for him but there was a vein of jealousy in his tenderness came lightly over the grass in one hand she held her hat and in the other a long narrow strip of bright coloured indian which along the ground after her the end of it hotly pursued by a small black if the found satisfaction in this form of entertainment so clearly did its mistress she drew the long web slowly behind her till the little creature was close upon it and then with a sudden jerk it away out of reach far above her head look philip look she cried in her clear sweet tones how he while the in a state of the wildest excitement all claws and tail sprung high into the air after its vanishing the colonel got up when he saw her coming threw away the end of his and stood watching her he thought he had seldom seen anything much prettier than this fair graceful young woman turning and twisting hither and thither within the circles of the gold and crimson embroidered while the black and darted around her over the sunny grass the gave out first it retired behind one of the poles of the net sat down and began its sleek fur with a fine air of indifference as though nothing so trivial and as the pleasures of a game of play had ever entered its small head cast a glance at it silly little thing she said so soon to be tired then she came on and stood herself on the edge of the turf where it bordered the gravel walk there was a touch of something curiously light and like in the girl s appearance at times her face was merry as she looked up at her husband what shall we do next philip she said colonel smiled back at her she was very irresistible in her gaiety and endless readiness for amusement what do you want to do he replied i am quite ready to obey you put her head a little on one side and balanced herself on the edge of the grass swaying slightly from side to a bird before it takes sight colonel s wife ah but that is not quite enough she said it will not do to obey merely you must invent you must devise you must imagine my wits are slow he answered still smiling i am afraid i must leave the and to you i have always been better at carrying out orders than at giving them the english sunday is rather a trying affair said the girl it leaves so little that one can do with social i mean here in the country they seem very old fashioned on some points and of course one doesn t want to make one s self different to other people philip laughed he made a rapid mental survey of the excellent middle aged wives of his highly neighbours them with the young lady before the survey proved amusing i am afraid you are different to most people all the same my dear little wife without any making turned away and began folding together the long that still behind her used to tell me she said slowly that i was a perfect example of the pagan spirit that i was a most remarkable it sounds rather well to be a remarkable doesn t it is it that which makes me different to most people i wonder they are only themselves i suppose and i am a sort of re colonel did not in the least relish this somewhat strain of meditation then too the mention of mr name invariably aroused in him feelings come for a walk he said we will go down over the fields to the brook and take a look at the beasts in the lower meadow put on her hat and arranged her curly hair under the brim of it still it would be interesting to know whether i am really a remarkable she observed quietly colonel came close to the girl don t call yourself queer names he said i don t quite like it when i said something just now about your being different to most people i wasn t thinking about or or any rubbish of that kind i am not quite sure that it is rubbish you know she interrupted glancing up at him quickly yes it is replied philip with a certain you are a very beautiful woman and in that there is no denying that you are pretty different to most people but let us take the promised land ourselves and life too simply and darling without about ourselves and trying to find out what s hidden it s a mistake to do that it makes people get all sorts of nasty fancies into their heads and when those fancies once take hold of them never mind how they were at the start they begin to make them true in a sort	32
of way at least by thinking so much about them they begin to grow into that which they have over put all that sort of thing away from you it s dangerous the colonel spoke almost in a tone of command he was a good deal moved he hardly knew why a trace of surprise gathered in s expression as she listened to him he had rarely committed the of becoming is that all she inquired when he paused yes he answered suddenly growing ashamed of his own eloquence that is all i beg your pardon for preaching you an sermon in this way it was interesting said thoughtfully it suits you to be a little excited you know philip it makes your eyes a splendid colour exclaimed the colonel he turned away half pleased half embarrassed by his wife s remark he had always believed that his personal appearance was by no means his strong point and any comment on it made him feel self conscious and awkward in some ways philip was almost simple hearted still come for a stroll he said after a moment s silence without looking directly at her let us go down over the pasture to the bed and i ll get you some of those big with grey to them you wanted the other day for your so the two wandered away together in the still warm evening over the ridge and of the sloping meadow land towards the little stream philip was very gentle with his wife very desirous to please her he got her an of boughs and and flowers and told her about the birds as they called back and forth to each other from the high branches of the elm trees or in and out of the shelter of the thick hedges all living creatures had a strange fascination for they seemed very near to her she was never tired of observing them philip found himself talking very readily he had been more pleased perhaps than he quite liked to own to himself by his wife s little compliment and the sense of pleasure had his tongue he was unusually entertaining coming home again up the field path walked in colonel en s wife her soft pale brushing gently as she moved against the longer grass on either side the way down in the west the ruddy orange glow of the sunset lay along the horizon promising another still hot day to morrow to the east above the upward sweep of yellow corn lands crowned with a line of dark broken wood th moon rose large and red through a broad belt of coloured at the top of one of the long swelling the girl stopped and turned round she had taken off her hat and stood there with her arms full of bending and flowers the upper part of her figure against the evening sky the colonel stood below in the grassy and looked up at her she was very fair he said moved by a sudden impulse are you happy are you glad or sorry you married me and came away here to england the girl laughed softly i am as happy as the day is long she answered and the days are admirably long here in england there is plenty to do and see i like having things going on all the time little things unimportant things nice cheery sort of things you know now this week for instance think what a programme to morrow i must go into early for some odds and ends of a hat philip but a hat a simply hat then in the afternoon you drive me over to s keeping it will be rather slow that garden party but there is always the hat tuesday you shoot at and i go to luncheon mrs s manners are delicious they smell of dried rose leaves and like her dresses wednesday thursday friday something every day something though i forget just now exactly what she threw back her head and stretched out her arms letting the and flowers fall to the ground at her feet oh i love this dear world i she cried i love to be alive and young if only these beautiful days could go on for ever and i could forget that it must all pass and change and if it did not pass and change i suppose i should grow terribly tired of it shrugged her shoulders and turned out the palms of her hands with a cynical little gesture was right she went on we are bound to get b one thing after another but yet it is very sad why t what is pleasant stay pleasant why must it always go on and on and cm in this dreadful way the winter is coming to eat up the promised land our lovely autumn days most of the birds will be gone and those that remain will have turned into poor shivering little beggars and i shall grow older and older i shall get not to care for the summer and the sunshine i shall not be able to be amused and th n at last i shall have to die it must come in a strong movement of love and tenderness philip came up to the girl put his arm round her and gathered her close up against him don t dearest he said for god s sake don t talk like that you re not like yourself oh she answered it is nothing really it will all blow over soon and i shall forget all about it i don t often think of what is terrible only sometimes it has come over me lately that everything is slipping away and that every day is a day lost out of my life and i feel as if i should go mad i cannot die she cried i will not die	32
left have any wholesome compelling natural instincts to guide them women were encouraged to be strong and fearless they are both and heaven help us what a graceful and engaging spectacle they are in a fair way soon to present men were to their native in some ranks they have done so and stand forth a mild race but doubtfully capable of the command delivered to our first parents to the earth and subdue it we have obeyed orders and alas to those who gave them the result seems far from a happy one yet even here the if clear sighted may still perceive points of light the individual as an individual independent of his has become more respected the distance has between class and class beauty and are recognized as the right of the many instead of the exclusive of the few the so called masses begin to be taken seriously instead of being to in public and in private treated as a joke more than this we have got surely a greater love of hard absolute fact in our loss of respect for personages for the pomp and show of privileged human beings every human being has gained in value we have each of us only a certain capacity of reverence and sympathy and if the said reverence and sympathy are on the pains and comfortable ones enough after all in the greater number of cases of illustrious princes and very obvious heroes there can be none left over for the dim common for the hero in the shooting coat or white and for all the and and ordinary plain headed folk who suffer but never rise from the ranks whose hearts break who who die and go out into the great unknown darkness without any court mourning or black borders to the daily papers we have gained this any way a sad enough knowledge all that tragedy needs no and no fine speeches unheard of miseries or broad dramatic effects but that she comes and dwells in pleasant sunny places sits down at comfortable tables extremes and quietly yet tm suspense and intimately to associate herself with the average lot of the average man and woman it is not necessary to get excited about her to be or hysterical or to make an the last generation its sorrows let them and was wonderfully interested and self conscious over them fancied it perceived a divine intention and was somewhat puffed up with pride at being selected as a worthy object for the of the heavenly rod we have none of these unfortunately i do not think we are aware either of much or spiritual exultation in the face of trouble it has grown a little too common in these latter days and we have grown too quick in its habitual presence to be disposed to make much fuss about it though possibly our pain is none the less deep and penetrating because we have at moments an almost humorous sense alike of its and its what is for the goose is also for the and in learning the relative value of things we have had undoubtedly to a good many active sources of private support and self satisfaction but it is high time to go back and pick up the thread of philip s history a commonplace history enough i own yet not by moments of pathos of brilliant hope and of gallant fighting in the cause of that which seemed to him noblest and best one evening early in the winter the fog had risen as usual from the chilly bosom of the clay lands clung close to the face of the fields and wrapped itself round the every in the hedges was at the end of it with a quivering drop of e which gradually increased in size till it fell at last with a dull to the earth below the cattle huddled together in comers and the thick of the broad backed sheep looked dragged down with the weight of the wet that soaked them there is a brooding sullen silence on such days as this which is almost alarming nature seems indifferent there is no wind no change no movement only the gradual up of dull diffused light by slow darkness down through the village of over whose quaint black and white houses the little grey church with its broad side seemed to extend comfortable protecting wings as of a well regulated hen over her brood of chickens two men were riding home after a day s hunting one of them along cheerily enough bending forward in the saddle and holding his elbows high and square with a considerable assumption of what is commonly called side the other man it must be colonel en s wife carried the marks of recent disaster upon him and looked in rather evil case i don t understand even now how it happened he said turning his head stiffly the whole thing was over in a couple of minutes i was underneath and the mare on the top of me before i knew anything about it that young fellow rides in a careless hot headed sort of way he was within an ace of being right on to us and then i think it s extremely probable you d have ridden home alone it was a nasty fall replied mr nodding his head and up his genial countenance with an air of strong disgust uncommon nasty good people are scarce you know and upon my word i should go and see or or somebody and get thoroughly you must have got a most infernal shaking if you got nothing worse and in my opinion it s always best to look into that sort of thing at once one may get all wrong inside you know and then there s no end of bother if it s not seen to in time	32
mr delivered himself of these vague and bewildering opinions with much and earnestness colonel met them lightly oh i must be pretty tough by this time of day he said a hot bath and a good sleep and i shall be as right as a to morrow if i see a doctor he won t be able to tell me half as much as i could tell him and it ll only frighten my wife i d rather frighten my wife twenty times over than get myself wrong inside and not know it till too late responded mr in a tone calculated to carry conviction as to the entire of the statement wait till you ve got a wife and then perhaps you ll change your mind returned the colonel the observation had a certain about it and mr into uneasy silence till in the clinging fog and growing darkness the two men turned in at the gates of the carriage drive leading up to the house at the door down off his big hunter the reins to the waiting groom and began feeling about the other horse s legs in a knowing and scientific manner william you ll have to look after the mare a bit to night said colonel he thought it would be easier to give his orders at once before getting out of the saddle she s been down and herself rather badly i fancy he has strained her off shoulder in suspense very well sir replied the groom with an manner and utterly vacant expression of face if you think there s anything much the matter you had better send over to and tell to come out iii the morning very well sir said william again philip set his teeth hard as he got off his horse and on to his feet bless me i am stiff he said indoors was rather in an in the low drawing room the room was for she had piled up the fire till it glowed with a great heart of living crimson between the bars of the old fashioned grate with that quick sense of taste taste meaning i suppose an accurate reading of the true relation between means and ends had put aside all italian of and had filled her english home with full dark colours had laid down thick noiseless carpets and hung the windows with glowing deep toned it must all look warm and soft she said what you call snug a house never looks snug in italy but there it is different it is in the grand style there the idea is to live in a palace and let in the air and the sunshine here it is to live in a and keep out the draughts had certainly contrived to give her own particular a most conspicuous appearance of comfort the curtains were drawn and the room lighted by a couple of red shaded lamps on the girl s lap as she sat in front of the great fire was her curled round with his shiny black nose on one in an attitude of profound repose a piece of work and some books lay on the floor by her side but just now appeared to be doing nothing in point of fact she had been peacefully and only woke up with a troubled little start when philip s footsteps came slowly through the and he opened the drawing room door are you all right he said waiting in the doorway and not offering to come further into the room i believe so she answered without moving except to put up one hand languidly and a little something in his wife s tone did not quite satisfy the colonel he came on across the room and stood behind her chair leaning his hands on the back of it nothing wrong dear little woman he asked looking kindly down at her half averted face and charming figure shrugged her shoulders what would you have philip i hav been lone i colonel s wife the weather has been unspeakable no one has been near me but the maids and one is not intimate with one s butler you know and english maids have no conversation i have been bored ah but bored i try to read one book is than another i try to play but there is nobody to listen finally here went to sleep on my lap cats possess a quality i went to sleep it was a relief but it was hardly amusing dear me what a dismal little history said philip smiling fr you see i m home now and s come too to dine and sleep so you ll have somebody to talk to besides the maids and the mr doesn t like me the girl spoke quickly s a fool then returned her husband but what on earth put that idea into your pretty head thinks just what everybody else does about you he sighed slightly as he spoke sometimes the colonel wondered whether certain people did not think about his wife just a little bit more than they no he has never liked me she repeated it began long ago before we were married i dare say he could not tell why but i am certainly to him philip slipped his hand down off the back of the chair and laid k for a on the girl s shining hair what a magnificent word he said i doubt if poor dear old could even spell it now i must go and get myself decent for dinner will you get up and give me a kiss colonel made his request humbly he still approached his wife more in the spirit of the lover than in the secure and somewhat over one common to the british husband ah will not that little ceremony keep philip it isn t time to go and dress yet	32
i am so comfortable like this and i don t want to disturb the cat philip had a momentary inclination to the cat in words at least to very warm quarters he raised himself up suddenly from his leaning posture on the back of the chair in doing so he was aware of such a keenly distressing physical sensation that he could not help crying out jumped up hastily pushing the black down on the floor with most haste she faced round on her husband what is the matter with you philip she cried ah go away you look terrible the colonel s breath short and painfully he bent forward again and leaned his hand heavily on the back of the chair in suspense poor dear child he said i am awfully to have frightened you i m all right only a bit stiff and everybody is more or less you know after a long day i do not like this hunting in the least exclaimed you are out all day and it is very dull you come home late and look extraordinary also you get remarkably dirty it is a sport for savage i think not for gentlemen say all that to at dinner and see how he answers you philip spoke with a faint attempt at humour he slowly straightened himself up again his face was curiously pale and had a drawn look upon it did not come any nearer to him nor offer to help him she stood aside and watched him with remarkable and attention her smooth white forehead contracted as she did so you are not going to be ill philip she said in a low voice no no of course not the colonel answered quickly and cheerily tm all right i m as sound as a bell really just a bit tired and knocked about this evening you know t ut nothing to matter nothing for you to worry yourself about he came over to the place where the girl was standing took her hand and looked at her for a moment with a strangely wistful expression do you care for me enough to mind very much whether i am ill or not my beautiful wife he said slowly looked back frankly sweetly as she spoke i care for you very much philip but i dislike illness mamma used to want me to go with her and visit poor sick people when we were in at certain seasons mamma was beautifully charitable she would put on old gowns and give everything away and come home crying it was very charming of her wasn t it and did you go with her inquired colonel he felt a sudden anxiety as to the tenor of s answer oh no she replied how could i i never go near people who are ill and may die it is so distressing one should only see people when they are well and agreeable and at their best it is too much to ask one to see them when they have become well distasteful i think for the doctors and nurses of course it is different it is their profession but i dislike any one to be ill it is philip turned somewhat sick he fixed his eyes on the floor and fitted his foot uneasily into the pattern of the carpet they were rather a couple standing there before the colonel s wife fire the dim rich comfort of the pretty room the girl with her fresh dainty dress and radiant youthful beauty and e serious looking middle aged man in his top boots and muddy hunting coat holding her delicate hand a lot of things happen that we don t very much like my pretty one he said gently and sadly at last we must make up our minds to that only be sure of this nothing you don t like shall ever come near you as long as i can prevent it he stooped towards her and kissed her lips there smooth all those lines out of your forehead it s not your business to look troubled yet awhile leave that to those who are older and than you raised herself to her full height and gave her husband a quick little trembling kiss in return philip you are delightful she said i have the greatest confidence in you now i will go and dress i have a new gown it fits to perfection even mr must admire me in it always contrived even on the days of to develop a compliment in honour of my new gowns never mind about mr he s far enough off now anyhow go and get ready for dinner moved away ah had his good qualities though she said looking back as she went out of the door at times he was extremely entertaining when colonel was left alone he stood still for some minutes longer upon my word i think was right and that i d better see it was an uncommonly awkward fall i m half afraid after all there s something wrong he pressed his lips firmly together and pulled first at one side and then at the other of his thick moustache i shouldn t care a rap he added if it wasn t for her chapter ii the shadow of a great fear everybody i imagine has a shrinking from putting questions which may lead in reply to the communication of unpleasant truths colonel did not go next morning to consult dr the weather for some days was wet and so he stayed at with his charming wife and thought or tried to in suspense think himself better the indeed wore off to a great extent and the came out as honest wholesome should do in various and sundry colours and there the colonel hoped would be the end of the whole matter his mental horizon was very	32
fairly again about a week after his accident and he began to entertain a contempt for his own in having given way at first to serious alarm the weather had mended somewhat and colonel spent the first fairly fine afternoon looking round the farm and in company with his farm z short square made moon faced man rather weak about the knees the of a down at a in one of the pastures whose condition seemed to demand a vast expenditure of that commonly known as if them red don t pull im through nothing will sir after which comforting assertion of the of the possible extreme of all human endeavour the stick in hand and bob sheep dog behind him set off at a walk towards the little red two fields away to the left standing surrounded by its pale and dark buildings the colonel was rather chilled with waiting in the wet and outside the cattle shed he wanted to warm himself and to get home quickly he had been out later than he intended might be lonely without him he started up the rising ground of the pasture at a good smart pace some disturbed in their search for worms in the turf between the spread their broad black wings and up reluctantly in front of him to settle again a few yards further away with quaint solemn and their the barking of the sheep dog and and of the sheep as he them down into a corner to be counted came over from the next meadow through the thick misty air half way up the long grass slope philip his pace and gave himself two or three good hearty on the left side of his chest with his fist he had got a nasty heavy aching there and an odd sensation of difficulty in breathing it was certainly exceedingly disagreeable and the did not mend matters by the time he reached the top of the hill and came to the gate opening into the road just opposite the house entrance colonel was suffering so that he had to wait for a minute or two before he could recover himself sufficiently to cross the road and go on up to the house once indoors he turned into the dining room and sat down on the nearest chair the colonel s old soldier servant colonel en s wife now promoted rather against s wish for she could not get over the fact that his face was somewhat with the small to the post of butler moved about the room arranging the table the end had a little dinner party that night s little dinners were admirable the squire and mrs with their youngest girl were coming over from jack and from by the way was an the eldest of that numerous family mr would drive ut from to dine and stay the night and finally lord s brother and his wife were coming he took a house at a year ago when he left the guards and got the of the south and married the american miss p whose gowns and good looks made her something of a reputation in london for a couple of seasons this lady had struck up a species of friendship with based on the subject of clothes concerning which she was apparently willing to talk for quite unlimited periods colonel sat down on the nearest chair and forward the position seemed to give him a measure of relief with his elbow on his knee and his chin resting on his hand he felt ill nervous shaken partly by the actual pain partly by the fear of what the pain might imply he told to get him some brandy and rather to that silent and fierce looking person s surprise for the colonel was not given to drinks at odd hours after a time the pain subsided he managed to get through the evening very though it was something of an effort to listen with intelligent sympathy to good mrs s woes or to mrs s remarkably information regarding her own tastes habits mental and physical and those of her friends and relations delivered in a high with the habitual of her nation when at last the other guests had departed and he found himself alone with excellent httle mr in his comfortable smoking room a long silence fell on philip he stood with his back to the fire with anything but a happy expression on his face it s a pity that mrs s got such an appalling way of talking observed mr presently throwing himself back in his chair and extending his feet towards the blaze i like a woman who s something to say for herself you know but upon my word she keeps going at a rate that fairly does for me seems as if she was wound up somehow and let off with a spring it goes through one s head like a steam whistle in suspense philip pushed his hands into hb pockets put one foot upon the and his shoulders back against the mrs oh yes he said she s a good looking woman but there is altogether too much of her for my taste he paused raised one hand and rubbed it slowly through his hair you re always so kind and i don t mind telling you i am rather in trouble to night i dare say it s nothing of importance but i m afraid i haven t quite got over that fall i had such a nasty turn when i was out this afternoon i can t make out what it means mr sat up his genial countenance full of kindly sympathy i believe i d much better have taken your advice and consulted somebody at once i ll drive you in to morrow morning and go to afterwards he s the	32
had picked up off the table and held in his two hands i cannot i regret to say deny that it is serious replied the doctor there was a silence presently philip spoke again slowly i should like to know two things first what the immediate consequences are likely to be and next what you advise me to do the immediate consequences my dear sir are in great measure on your following my advice philip glanced up quickly at the speaker you must forgive my putting it plainly but hold every man knows his own business best you may give me advice i can t follow i must be the judge of that colonel s ah my dear sir returned dr do you know that you promise to be rather an patient we medical men are we are judge and jury in one we do not recognize the right of private judgment for an instant it would be of our authority after making which decent protest leaned back in his chair with a fine professional smile threw one leg over the other folded his arms and cleared his throat the excellent man did to hurry matters he felt a good deal for his patient he had been very much taken with colonel when he had met him the year before at at the time of old s death since then he knew that the colonel had made a romantic marriage these facts taken in connection with the subject of the present interview made him hesitate before speaking his whole mind his imagination was quick he shrank from mental pain just as in professional matters he shrank unless it was absolutely necessary from to the use of the and the knife philip became sensible of his companion s hesitation he looked up again with a brief smile you needn t matters you know he observed quietly i don t think i m what is called nervous the doctor waved his hand as though all such suggestions to the ends of the earth my dear colonel he said believe me i am always truthful when i can venture to be so with safety to my patient in your case i perceive that i can venture to be entirely truthful i should be making a very poor return for the confidence you have done me the honour to repose in me i should indeed be treating you with very mistaken kindness if i attempted to speak lightly of your present condition philip he had that instinct of pride which strong and healthy men a sharp sense of humiliation almost of disgrace in the face of physical infirmity he kept his eyes fastened on the floor and began slowly and pulling his moustache with his left hand it would be highly in me not to put strongly before you the gravity of the position dr paused a moment you must be extremely careful for a time to begin i am afraid you must deny your taste for sport and give up hunting for the remainder of this season oh that s easily done said philip with an air of relief that i fear is only the first of my suggestions in suspense continued the doctor an attempt at lightness nature colonel nature has a marvellous power of herself within certain limits of her accounts so to speak even with disease but her must be obeyed she must be given time be given encouragement be met her suggestions must be treated with attention in the present case making myself the of our universal mother if the phrase may be permitted me i say that nature rest rest is absolutely necessary for the establishing of an accommodation throughout the to morbid alterations rest is equally essential to the nervous system as the only adequate means of it to recover from the serious shock lately sustained what do i mean by rest briefly this a careful from all physical exertion an equally careful of anything calculated to produce mental excitement a of all active for a time and submission to the conditions trying ones i admit of an invalid life in my dear colonel i must entreat you to go home and go to bed and moreover to remain there till i can sanction your getting up again philip rose walked across to the fireplace and stood there leaning his elbow on the and his eyes with his hand this movement notwithstanding his very real sympathy with his patient gave it must be owned a moment of lively anxiety he was a in china and close to the elbow were some of his most valuable and consequently most specimens they were in imminent danger for the latter was evidently not in a humour to consider very carefully whether his action might the integrity of such mere and on the skirts of civilization a horrible dread which he dared not put into words which mentally he pushed away from him with an agony of denial and gathered and deepened and threatened to philip his wife s face with its strange intensity and of purpose as she had asked him amid the grace and comfort of her pretty room whether he was going to be ill came before him with a weight of meaning with a suggestion of sinister possibilities that almost him what had she said that it was too much to ask one to like sick people that they became distasteful and should in short be put out of the way y their existence was a blot an offence an outrage upon the fair face of life how then could he go back to her within an hour and say not the sun is shining we will go out and amuse o colonel s wife ourselves but my dear i am ill i am going to bed for an indefinite period and you have got to nurse me it	32
was impossible philip had a sickening sense that the very foundations of his happiness were crumbling beneath him he turned almost fiercely upon the doctor i can t follow your advice he said what s the alternative the alternative ah there one moment excuse me cried the other gentleman advancing with remarkable alacrity and extending a protecting hand towards his cherished a thousand but it was nearly falling a unique specimen too the alternative colonel i fear it is a sufficiently distressing one in all probability a frequent of your sufferings of yesterday increasing in intensity and in gravity of import i must remind you that acute pain i know by experience that i am not guilty of exaggeration and i trust i need not accuse myself of cowardice is extremely difficult to bear with calmness and resignation it is i had almost said dr paused the momentary had faded completely out of colonel s face he looked full at his companion with a thoughtful questioning simplicity which the latter a trifle uncertain as to whether he felt the more disposed to laugh or to weep as philip said yes i understand it s not pleasant but i suppose i shall be able to put up with it that is not all though my dear sir i regret to say spoke gravely and suffering arising from the causes i have described to you is of a peculiarly character and if you are determined to know the whole truth it is almost certain to philip stood looking down at the floor for a minute or two in deep thought then he threw back his head with a sharp half angry shake i must take the risk he said ah pardon me cried dr but positively i must with you this is simply colonel rest and care for a time may restore you to a very fair measure of health on your own showing something s hopelessly wrong i could never be the same man again no no i m afraid it won t do dr was deeply interested he ventured one step farther my dear sir he said consider what right have you to in suspense chance the throwing away of a valuable life with this reckless indifference the colonel bowed with a certain dignity pardon me he replied i have reasons for my action which i am not in a position to explain then he moved across to the table and picked up his hat and gloves again i am very much indebted to you for being so open with me he went on i must get you to patch me up as well as you can dr since i don t see my way to lying by just at present a man of my calling and habits has a foolish not to give in and own himself beaten you know to die in harness as the saying goes i will beg you to do me one more kindness by the way namely to regard this conversation as strictly confidential some ten minutes later philip found himself standing on the of dr residence he regarded the broad clean before him and the trees and bushes inside the iron forming the centre of the square with curiously awakened attention he watched william turn the dog cart at the further end of the square and stop the handsome neatly and accurately against the at dr door with the sense of a man over whom a great change has come who sees familiar objects with new eyes and as it were for the first time henceforth philip believed that a strange and painful presence would rise with him every morning stay by him all day long sit beside him at every meal lie down to rest with him at night at moments he knew that he would be called upon to bend every energy to conceal this hateful presence from the eyes of others specially from the eyes of his beautiful young wife the colonel did not attempt to or deceive himself to soften down the edges of cruel fact he looked his new companion steadily in the face he wished to get accustomed to this fresh element in his life as quickly as possible he had made his choice freely and as he on the chimney piece in the doctor s consulting room there was a fine expression in philip s blue eyes just then he looked like a man who has taken a great resolution and who walks forward calm almost to meet his fate such hours are very splendid they are touched with a magnificent daring and exaltation but alas the measure of a man s true worth is not to be found in the sudden conception of an heroic idea but in the carrying out of that idea faithfully through slowly days and months j el s wife perchance years when the glory has faded from the undertaking when the freshness and the bloom have departed and when the quick inspiration of an illuminated moment has passed into the silent continuous habit of a life when the colonel on his return home entered the hall of the house ready dressed for her drive was coming downstairs the thin delicate sunshine of a winter s day in through the large heavily window on the turn of the staircase warmed the full deep brown of the polished oak steps and and lighted up the graceful richly clothed figure projecting her shadow down over the and across the intervening space of floor almost to her husband s feet he stood still and watched her as she came down her long gloves and smiling in her wonderfully radiant way this was a day of acute mental experiences with our the colonel and at this moment the experience took the form of a vivid he remembered accurately his first vision of on the terrace of the little italian	32
villa her simple cotton gown rosy red in the shade of her great umbrella her eyes dancing with charming vivacity and the ugly chattering monkey by her side there was the same effect of innocence of frankness of entire composure about her then as now it came over philip with the force of a sudden revelation that had not altered in the smallest degree in the last nine months whereas he there was a whole age of difference between the comfortable middle aged bachelor who in admirable bodily health freedom of mind and serene from all extremes of desire had driven so unwillingly those few miles out firom and the man who now with his heart torn between a passion of love and a black nameless fear stood watching the fair brilliant woman coming downstairs towards him appeared like some of the spirit of life at that moment triumphant in the strength of her youth and beauty the sunshine does me good she cried throwing up her head and laughing it is a poor second hand sort of sun you have here in england still even so it is delightful after that abominable fog and darkness i mean to have a charming afternoon it is excellent of you to be home so her tone changed suddenly you look very serious she added is anything wrong by sheer force of will the colonel pulled himself together you look very pretty and there is nothing wrong perhaps detected something strained in the lightness of in suspense the answer she observed her husband attentively just then et open the dining room door luncheon s ready sir he said as he came forward to help his master off with his great coat the meal was rather a silent one philip had not much appetite as soon as the man servant went out of the room he left his place and drawing a chair forward sat down by his wife s side at the head of the table she turned to him gaily it is going to be a delicious the carriage ought to be round almost directly philip looked very earnestly at her her face was wonderfully pure and under the sweeping lines of her somewhat fantastic hat the young lady by the way had a remarkable gift of effective and picturesque dressing look here he said you like presents and i don t believe ive given you anything for ever so long there hold out your dear little hand i brought you home a from this morning you must wear it always and whenever you look at it let it speak to you of my love as he spoke the colonel slipped a thick pearl ring on the girl s outstretched finger first looked down at the ring and then up at her husband ah it is she cried in accents of genuine pleasure always is rather a tremendous word though philip it seems to mean so much then she fell to admiring her ring again colonel smiled sadly perhaps my love for you means a good deal too he said listen let this ring be what is called a token to you you know we can t quite tell what may happen we can t see on into the future if ever things go a little wrong if i seem dull and silent at times and don t quite please you this is to remind you that whatever comes my love for you is absolute ing the strongest truest deepest purpose of my life r darling sweet wife promise you will never doubt me he had spoken quietly enough at first but with the last few words his voice trembled and broke stared at him with a growing expression of alarm something is the matter philip she cried shrinking away from him something is the matter i oh don t let me be dis don t let it all get sad i can t bear what is sad certainly as mrs pierce had felt was something strangely and at moment about colonel en s wife glittering young something almost in her wild dismay at the touch of the aspects of existence she clasped her hands with a swift passion of entreaty oh tell me there is nothing the matter philip she pleaded it is so cruel to let me be frightened i was so happy and now it seems all spoilt colonel was at his wits end he was frightened too in a way but he took the girl s two hands in his and soothed and her saying something anything he did not care what so long as he could banish that strange look of dread from her face and ring of terror from her utterance after all the colonel and his wife drove over to that afternoon the sharp trot of the horses the keen frosty air the pale winter sunshine the but respectful greeting of jack s of cheerful children who regarded their young aunt much as a company of plain but liberal minded might regard some gorgeous bird suddenly among them did much to restore s ordinary gaiety at home in the evening after dinner she sat down at the piano and played softly wandering from one plaintive melody and harmony to another with a sort of accent in the of sweet sounds philip was desperately tired he lay down on the broad low sofa at right angles to the fireplace closed his yes and listened yet he had really got through the day better than he could have expected he had had no serious return of pain the horses had pulled coming home at starting and the exertion of holding them had made him feel for a little while but fortunately they had down after passing stony cross and turning down that long rough bit of road by wood end just before you reach village	32
s playing meanwhile was very soothing philip made a return upon himself he began to feel more hopeful to wonder if his sense of the gravity of the situation had not been exaggerated doctors danger so often they take gloomy views they are so constantly in the presence of disease and death that their minds naturally the exact limits of a case they see more than is really there no doubt dr had done this rose at last from her station at the piano and coming quietly across the room sat down on the floor at her husband s side and leaned her fair head back against the end of the sofa ah that is nice she murmured gently to philip wife s simple exclamation gave a delicate suspense tion of security and repose he reached out his hand and placed it on the girl s two hands as they lay open on her lap she acknowledged his silent caress with a pressure of her cool round finger tips like all true lovers the colonel was given to look at his mistress s actions through a very strong glass and find in them all sorts of subtle and precious by no means perceptible to the casual observer was almost always gracious and good tempered and what may be called affectionate she was perfectly ready to receive practical assurances of her husband s devotion if they were offered with taste and discretion nd at a convenient season but she rarely took the perhaps a man with a wider experience of the of the feminine nature might have complained a little and accused her of having given by her looks and bearing before her marriage a promise of passionate feeling which she was somewhat slow to redeem philip s experience however was not extensive he was contented to worship humbly at the shrine to pay his vows devoutly without any strong sense that benefits should be if the did wink her blue eyes and smile a upon him as he knelt at her feet he was filled with gratitude and reckoned himself as the of a royal it followed that when of her own accord his wife came and down so near him when she let his hand rest in hers that philip s heart grew light with almost a movement of shame he recalled the ugly fears that had oppressed him earlier in the day his doubt of his wife s generosity and tenderness seemed to him little short of a crime he fancied that she had divined that he stood in need of comfort and with womanly tact and modesty had taken this graceful way of offering him her sympathy colonel was tempted to throw himself upon her mercy to trust her utterly and himself of his haunting secret the demand might awaken a deeper life in her change her from an child to a noble woman at last filled with a recognition of her sweetness with a desire to humble before her and confess his momentary failure of faith to tell her all his trouble the colonel raised himself on his elbow and leaned over till he could sec her face he drew back with a chill sense of disappointment s eyes were closed her breathing was soft and regular she was fast asleep s colonel wife chapter iv dr finds a clue it is hardly too much to say that his interview with colonel supplied dr with an additional interest in life he was largely given to meditation and his conversation with the colonel proved a most fruitful subject of meditation dr was not one of those medical who in their devotion to actual bone and muscle lose sight of the rich social and domestic drama with which their professional duties so constantly bring them in contact his science was touched with romance the mental and moral aspects of the phenomena presented to him claimed nearly as much of his attention as the strictly physical ones in short he was very far from having reached that condition of high scientific abstraction in which the sensitive striving shrinking human being is in the mere case and the delicate opportunity of observation is disregarded in a calm and somewhat cold blooded desire to add a fact or two more to the records of perhaps the very wide difference between his own temperament and career and that of his new patient made the latter all the more interesting to for the doctor like so many men of an intricate and habit of mind was deeply attracted by simplicity and of character to him it always appeared that there were an infinite number of excellent things to be said on both sides of every question and therefore quick instinct and fearless decision in action impressed him his professional career it is true had been very successful his private life on the other hand had not been so owing mainly to his inherent tendency to weigh consider concerning the situation instead of taking his part strongly and promptly colonel s clearness of mental vision and calm acquiescence in the consequences of his own action seemed to dr extremely admirable he had protested as vigorously as he dared against the decision yet from the artistic point of view he derived real satisfaction from the spectacle of the other man s reckless defiance of pain and probable death it must here be frankly admitted that dr was reckoned somewhat and even eccentric by the majority of his professional brethren his respect for the free will of the individual frequently struck them as a error still his practice grew and flourished in the in suspense is town and even the county which is so in most matters and a righteous horror of frivolous little regarding it as a out of which no good thing is in the very least likely to come even the county had in the last few years given very	32
in a brilliant smile over white even little teeth in short he beheld an unusually pretty person was looking back and talking with considerable vivacity to the young man who came with her out of the house et ah but where are my husband and the carriage she said as she stepped down on to the pavement if colonel has got so tired of waiting that he s driven away for good i shall not be very much inclined to quarrel with him remarked the young man half half his hands were clasped behind him and he was bending towards his companion with an expression of the admiration in his pleasant young face you do not know colonel very well responded his talents do not lie in the direction of desertion i am happy to say the young man coloured he was aware of having been betrayed into an and of meeting with an unexpected rebuke dr hat in hand came forward across the grey flags with his most and manner may i venture to recall myself to your remembrance mrs l colonel s wife he said t have just parted with your he will return immediately the horses had become rather i could not resist standing here and watching colonel his driving is the doctor s long queer shaven countenance and imperial above all perhaps his slight infirmity in walking were not calculated to prejudice in his favour fortunately however the young lady was at that moment in an excellent humour prepared to be serenely gracious to all comers even if they ah thank you she said and then added brightly i remember you very well we met at an afternoon party of mrs s you were not there mr as she spoke glanced at the young man who having recovered from his temporary embarrassment and nodded a greeting to dr had taken his stand with his back to the street opposite to mrs and where he could command a full view of her attractive person no i wasn t there he assented i do not pity you it was between ourselves a tedious a really entertainment was it not dr fifteen people were introduced to me they all asked the same questions quite a little this becomes extremely said with i trust mrs i was not numbered among that fifteen no no assuredly not you were the sixteenth you were the refreshing exception that is partly why i remember you so well i am greatly relieved said the doctor but look here mrs what were the questions asked the young man keeping his eyes fixed on s face it gave him great pleasure to watch her while she talked somehow shrugged her shoulders the least bit in the world oh they were simply those questions they had not even the merit of being stupid all my fifteen acquaintances said they believed we had lately settled at i they hoped i liked it i hastened to assure them i always liked everything when it was fresh they suggested some that is to say the more profound ones that is an object for devotion it is very valuable freshness has nothing to do with it i replied i should be able to judge better of that later on they asked me if i rode alas no they observed that a move was an awful nuisance in suspense don t you know need i go on she added glancing up at her companions the recital of these does not strike me as very amusing after all the amusement lies not so much in the subject matter as in the manner of its said dr it must be owned the doctor dearly loved a phrase smiled and looking down proceeded to arrange the bow of ribbon on her with one hand when i came to the last of those people she continued i am afraid i did not behave quite nicely it was a stout old lady her head was decorated with white lace and insects in metal she was not very distinguished looking the sort of old lady in fact you feel does not much matter i saw she was about to com the i was a little impatient i stopped her pray i said do not give yourself the unnecessary trouble of asking i know the questions by heart i do not stand on ceremony i will tell you everything i did tell her continued the girl with an air of innocence i fancy she is still under the impression i am slightly insane i heard her say something afterwards about the strange behaviour of half foreigners ah there is the carriage though at last as she finished speaking colonel drew up by the there was a singular effect of abstraction in his bearing of as though he was a good deal of energy and as though his fortitude was heavily yet his face brightened and softened as he looked at his wife i am very sorry to have kept you waiting about here in the cold all this time he said but the horses wouldn t stand it was not of any consequence these gentlemen have been kind they have entertained me very pleasantly mrs does herself an injustice said the doctor she has supplied the entertainment the kindness is exclusively on her side young mr came a steps forward with his hands still behind him and addressed the colonel i hope you re all right again i did go out to inquire you know but your servant seemed to know nothing about it and mrs was engaged i ve felt most horribly uncomfortable whenever i ve thought of that fall of yours it was the nearest thing in the world dr did not wait to hear either the end of the young gentleman s speech or philip s a kindly instinct made him turn to with his	32
most manner my dear mrs he said will you allow me one of q colonel s wife the privileges that belong to age and permit me to ask you a favour i have known the house for years and have always considered it as a rare little spot i have regretted that its various owners failed to show an intimate appreciation of the possibilities that it offers i hear on all sides if you will pardon my saying so that you have exhibited the most admirable taste and skill in developing those possibilities that you have grasped the artistic idea of the old house so to speak and given the genius s opportunity that in short you have created a delightful interior the doctor bowed will you give me leave to come and call on you my dear madam will you me to the dear old house now that it has at last had the happiness to pass into the hands of a truly mistress dr had an agreeable conviction of having succeeded completely in occupying s attention she smiled very graciously as she answered by all means come and see me i am very ignorant i only know what i like my house is an attempt merely but such as it is i shall be delighted to show it to you said the colonel throwing back the rug that covered the vacant seat beside him are you ready the horses will get again if we keep them standing made a hasty movement assistance but the young lady did not accept it she stepped lightly into the carriage i find i always help myself best she said with a little friendly bow as she settled herself into her place while her husband holding the reins in one hand leaned across and tucked the rug round her the young man drew back evidently a trifle disconcerted colonel nodded to dr turned the round with a sweeping curve across the street and then sent the horses on at a rattling pace again for a few seconds mr stood with his hands in his pockets staring after the departing carriage he was a capital young fellow the pride of his mother s heart she was a a first cousin of the late lord and an object of the warmest admiration to his two good tempered lawn playing sisters he was blessed by nature with a very open and countenance liable to betray freely all emotions working upon my word s an uncommonly fortunate person he exclaimed with an involuntary sigh dr turned and looked at the speaker he had just in suspense arrived at a conclusion it was a highly disturbing one he he had dug down and discovered the root from which the eccentric action sprung he fancied he had sighted the potent cause our copy books used to inform us at least in my youthful days they did so among many other valuable and facts mr that appearances are he remarked with a dry smile then he moved away in the direction of his waiting a few doors down the street drive to mrs in grove walk he said to the coachman as he got into it chapter v romance at a disadvantage mourning and woe reigned in the house of master that precious and somewhat hope of the establishment was afflicted with a feverish cold the poor child had really been seriously ill prayed watched mrs did something more immediately practical she packed up her boxes the worthy old lady behaved on this occasion with her customary and in case of illness she said with a pocket handkerchief in her hand ready for action in case of illness you know i have always said the same thing let there be as few unnecessary people in the house as possible they give trouble it can t be avoided they add to the servant s work they increase the confusion i needn t tell you i hope here the pocket handkerchief came into play how dreadfully painful it is to me to leave you and our darling at this moment but i don t consider myself i put my own feelings aside i am ready to sacrifice myself to the comfort of your establishment no no my love don t me i see the right course let me follow it let me follow it i have to to tell her to expect me to morrow for a week or fortnight poor dear girl i it s so long since i have seen her sometimes i own i fear that in my love for you i am tempted to neglect my other children a little all this no doubt was on the face of it extremely becoming and considerate flourish excellent old woman like a green bay tree your manners nd customs are deeply instructive colonel s wife it may be mentioned in passing had some years previously a young clergyman of morals and strong this good man did not unfortunately regard his wife s aged mother with any over flowing sense of veneration he had even gone so far on one occasion as to with her on what he was pleased to describe as a sad want of the visible workings of grace in her heart and to remark in the presence of his eldest girl a sharp child of about eight years old who promptly reported the said remark to her loving that mrs s conversation somewhat strongly of that wicked city ancient which the divine mercy saw fit eventually he added as we all know to visit with great and eternal the just reward of its profane and worldly doings this not perhaps had caused a coolness between the mother and son in law but mrs was a person of experience she knew that there is a time to pardon as well as a time to take offence and	32
it appeared to her that if your appreciation of the things of this life is still pretty vigorous the moment for forgiveness has certainly arrived when the exercise of that beautiful virtue will enable you to escape decently from a house with fever which may of course be catching and remove yourself to a purer and more atmosphere mrs therefore proceeded to forgive her son in law she buried the and after speaking packing her boxes with plentiful of peaceful olive along with her best gowns took her departure dr was aware of her mother s absence from home when he so hastily made up his mind to call on mrs for the doctor had a great respect he believed her to be an eminently unselfish conscientious and high minded woman circumstances he thought had been against her under happier conditions her nature might have with a refined and gentle sweetness even for mrs he had a certain regard not that he was in the least inclined to include her in the same as her daughter it was the frank self seeking and plausible of the elder lady that made her interesting in his eyes in every relation of life mrs appeared to him objectionable but from the scientific point of view the doctor was conscious that he enjoyed her she offered such a rich field for and observation at the same time had she not been safely out of the way the respectable hearth of her son in law dr would have thought twice before going to the small house in grove walk on his present errand in suspense on her side took a good deal of silent comfort in the friendship of her medical adviser he had more than once been the means of saving her boy s ufe and s gratitude though dumb was very deep then too he treated her with constant and consideration he understood a half word and that to a woman in a trying situation is often the very greatest of helps on the day in question when she came down into the little square sitting room to receive her guest mrs s anxious face assumed quite a cheerful expression and her voice took an unusual brightness of tone it is so kind of you to come so soon again she said giving the doctor her thin hand with its prominent and long fingers but it really wasn t necessary is really getting on now and i ought not to take up too much of your time i know what a number of other people want you i m afraid this room is very cold she added looking round in a helpless sort of way i have been upstairs with and they have let the fire down will you like to come up at once and see him there is a good fire in the nursery dr was very sensible of the of the room t meagre apartment with a bleak white and gold and cool shiny covers to the furniture but he his sense of impending discomfort my dear madam he replied at the risk of your severe displeasure i must admit that master s health was not my object in coming here to day i think we may dismiss any further anxiety from our minds on his account last time i saw him j perceived that he was thanks chiefly to your attention in a very fair way to make a rapid to day my visit is exclusively to you mrs i wish to have a brief confidential conversation with you if you will kindly spare me a few minutes the harassed expression came back into s face again poor thing she was always on the look out for the up of possible she received her plentiful share of in the same patient and spirit that the ordinary donkey receives its share of and blows the donkey does not rebel it is true but it a very tendency o nervously whenever any person pauses near it with a stick in his hand had an instinctive perception that a stick in this case was handy somehow she sat down with an air of resigned expectation selected the highest chair he could discover and established himself sideways on it leaning one elbow on th colonel s wife back of it and resting his other hand on the head of his the doctor s little arrangements possessed a disturbing effect of preparation for very serious business and indeed notwithstanding the quickness of his sympathy and genuine kindness of his heart there was a superficial foolishness about the man an inherent affection for for fine words and phrases a tendency to mount the high horse at times greatly to the of his hearers understanding and giving rein to that somewhat permit it to career away with him over vast and deserts idle in the most surprising and like fashion he possessed two different of address which may be as a and manner just now having been a good deal exercised by various little incidents during the course of the afternoon the manner was in the flowers of threatened to blossom with amazing in the thin atmosphere of s covered sitting room my dear mrs he began i find myself between the horns of a the exact nature of that i will presently my daily as you know is to give advice to others at the present moment i stand very positively in need of advice myself in difficulty and doubt our sex instinctively seeks the sympathy of yours you know the lines added dr with a wave of his disengaged hand oh woman in our hours of ease uncertain and hard to please when pain and anguish the brow a angel thou i mrs felt bewildered she liked dr very much she would have been sincerely glad to be of service to him but she was	32
not poetical she found it impossible to view herself in the light of a or any other kind of angel i am very sorry she said vaguely the doctor however was well of his he not comments he galloped forward i may compare myself mrs to one standing on the bank of a swift and river in the water below me i see so to speak a daring attempting to breast the current i ask myself can he succeed knowledge accurate knowledge of the conditions under which he has ventured on this me to reply that he cannot succeed that his strength will fail and those waters will him i am in a position to render him assistance in suspense but that assistance is rejected i pause i consider i cannot save the man against his will and yet my dear mrs my nature against the cold blooded of leaving him to his fate if circumstances render my offers of help i must search elsewhere for suitable aid in this painful situation a beam of light appears to shine upon the dark night of my difficulty my thoughts turn instinctively towards you s critical faculty was not highly developed she was impressed by her guest s generous flow of she was also alarmed as to what could possibly be about to follow on so considerable a preface she murmured something civil in the way of recognition both of the gravity of the matter in hand and of the compliment to herself implied in the final of the discourse then as frequently happened a proceeding which his invariably found vastly dr suddenly dismounted discarded the and adopted the manner having to put it blown off his steam he became a reasonable being again i am about to commit an my dear lady he said but in this case i believe the end may very well justify the means then too i have the fullest confidence in your i believe colonel s wife is a connection of yours the colour leaped up into s face the stick seemed likely to come down upon a remarkably tender spot she became painfully conscious both of looking and feeling very awkward she was glad the light in the room happened to be dim and uncertain no she answered hesitatingly mrs is not a connection of mine exactly her step mother s mrs pierce second cousin is a first cousin of mine but mrs paused step mother first cousin second cousin repeated dr the relationship is a little intricate a little difficult to grasp on the spot still he continued in any case you are very well acquainted with mrs you knew her before her marriage oh yes i have known her ever since she was quite a little girl the doctor shifted his position cleared his throat and then spoke gravely there is trouble before mrs serious very serious trouble as matters now stand but as yet the trouble is not colonel s wife if she has a capacity skilful action and sincere devotion the daylight was nearly gone the gas lamps in the street outside threw a pale reflection of the two windows on to the opposite wall of the room and revealed mrs face and figure with distinctness dr looked at her attentively hoping to gather some information from her expression he felt curiously drawn towards colonel he would have been immensely relieved to hear that his brilliant young wife was devoted to him but s countenance told of little beyond deepening anxiety what is it she asked hurriedly what is it it is this mrs the doctor answered colonel is running great risk of killing himself perhaps suddenly perhaps slowly painfully by inches as you may say and i suspect he is doing it for his wife s sake remained perfectly still for a minute or two then she murmured in a low unsteady way how dreadful t but what do you mean i don t understand it changed his position again this time rather i confess i do not wholly understand it myself he said the facts are simple enough painful sensations consequent he supposed on a fall out hunting induced him to consult me on examination i discovered the unmistakable indications of disease i told him that complete rest and careful watching for a time were indispensable he swept my advice aside with vl of the hand he on entirely his physical condition i saw him to day driving a pair of spirited horses he was looking ill and it was evident to me that he was suffering dr paused colonel me with remarkable regard and respect to return to our mrs i cannot stand by till the throws up his arms and sinks down for ever imder the cold waters of death without making one more effort to rescue him s lips were very dry she could barely articulate dreadful she said again under her breath i am bound by a promise not to mention this matter to nor indeed to any one else he continued i have in truth myself by relating the case to you but my conscience me i believe i am justified by the end in view mrs i think you are one of those women providence sends us a few in every generation in suspense who are born to be their brothers and sisters mrs is very young and most young persons are selfish it is in my opinion the of their own sensations their lively appreciation of the pleasures of this worlds leaves but little space for careful thought of others their own cup is full and one cannot i think ask them always to be peering into their neighbour s cup to see if by chance it is empty mrs is very young i say she is alone here away as i understand from all her relations her	32
natural as we may call them a few judicious words from an old friend like yourself might prove an blessing to her at this moment might go far to arrest the uplifted sword of destiny the manner had come on again slightly my dear lady will you undertake this mission will you approach mrs hint at the real state of affairs make an appeal to her affection open her eyes do what you can in fact to save colonel s life mrs rose and about the room in a confused sort of way the doctor sat watching her closely he believed in her and it would he felt shake his faith in the self sacrificing instincts of womanhood if she failed him he tried to strengthen his cause i have thrown myself upon your mercy he said i am sure you will take my word for it that the situation is one of appalling gravity presently mrs came back and sat down again she had no ready powers of expression her sensitive soul was imprisoned in a body emotion with her took the form of a dull yet penetrating ache which could find no relief in appropriate action i would gladly do anything if i could she said but i dare not i dare not dr i am quite the last person who can interfere ah but he answered quickly there comes a point when it is a duty to lay aside and superfluous modesty when in the name of our common humanity it is a simple duty to interfere it isn t that said i would do it willingly enough if it was anybody else but i can t dr for colonel the doctor was both annoyed and puzzled for a moment he lost his usual of and spoke without exactly considering whether in his zeal for the colonel he was not of what was due to his hostess colonel s wife and why not for colonel my dear madam he demanded had not been wrong in the stick it had descended in quite a series of sharp blows during the past quarter of an hour under this last and heaviest of them the poor thing absolutely staggered she put her thin hands over her face and doubled herself almost together it must be owned that in this posture s figure was not seen to advantage she had a very long back and a long back is a disastrous thing in a woman we were lovers years ago she said at last very simply men tell their wives about these things generally you know after they marry and laugh over them i have never laughed over it she added presently with a in her voice and so i couldn t go and talk to she might my motives dr was silent mrs confession seemed to him abundantly pathetic he was shocked too to think what exquisite torture he must have been putting this unfortunate woman to all he tried to arrange his ideas so as to frame an apology which should be at once soothing and respectful but spoke again before his preparations were completed i hope you won t despise me dr she said despise you good heavens my dear madam cried the doctor heartily i honour i reverence you i cannot forgive myself for having caused you pain that evening while dr was sitting in his well furnished library trying to forget the disturbing incidents of the day in an interesting by a distinguished french on some obscure functions of the nervous system a note was brought to him addressed in narrow pointed handwriting this was the substance of it i have thought over what you told me this afternoon i am afraid i acted hastily and only considered myself i am afraid i shall not be of much use but i will do what i can dr contemplated the note silently for a little space of time then folding it up he threw it into a drawer of his that is a really good woman he said half aloud then he settled himself back comfortably to the of the of the nervous system again in suspense chapter vi for it is rather dangerous to make a slow natured person the present of a new idea the idea finding itself pretty well alone in the mind of such a person begins to to till at length it becomes almost unfortunately dominant s existence was a cramped and monotonous one the stock of ideas upon which she maintained it was very limited it can be briefly in two words duty and to s honour be it repeated that duty did hold the first place and came second dr had introduced a third idea into her mind and after a sharp struggle she accepted it because it appeared to her nearly allied to her idea of duty but once having accepted it it began to assume many fresh and inspiring aspects the process of and took place briefly the new idea possessed her after she had put her boy to bed that night and despatched her to the doctor mrs found herself by no means inclined for sleep she had got something to think about she went upstairs and sat down by s iron in her bedroom the fire sent a broad glow upon the ceiling the house was very still there was a noise of bells in the air ringing down at the parish church some half mile away across the river this was one of the nights of the advent season and the sound of the peal came on the wind now loud clear hopeful running down the scale then turning and ringing change upon change in an intricate pattern of sound and then again dying away becoming soft uncertain sad ghostly bells ringing the of days and dreams and aspirations long dead laid her hand upon the of s bed and	32
her head back against the wall behind hen the bells affected her strangely they carried her back in thought to the picturesque old cathedral city where she had first met philip and all the unfinished romance of her unfolded itself before her she passed again pleasant sunny summer on the broad river that slips away below the gardens and pretty dwelling houses of the of the town and further inland stretches in long quiet reaches under the shadow of steep woods and between flat rich meadows p colonel en s wife where the cattle feed or stand staring with stupid curiosity at the passing boats from among the flags and blue an j willow weed upon the low red banks she paced again the quaint winding paved walks on the city walls and felt once more that of the pulse and happy rush of half trouble half expectation with which of old at some turn of the narrow way she had suddenly come face to face with her lover she remembered every incident of the dance given by the officers of the garrison as a parting token of gratitude to the rank and fashion of the town and neighbourhood for the kindness shown them during their stay she recalled too her interview with philip two days later in the sitting room of mrs s house with its tall windows looking over the city walls and the wide green circle of the below to the sharp curve of the river round a high wooded under the hard lines of the red brick and across miles of rolling country to the faint blue grey of the hills rising against the western sky remembered the little presents he had given her and the long somewhat letters he had her during those two years of patient waiting remembered too how the arrival of one of these same spread a glory over all the following day but there upon my word you and i have had nearly enough of this sensible reader haven t we i own i feel like some or other creature when i begin turning over a woman s little of love memories in this way they are such delicate absurd little things that one is afraid of touching them with clumsy masculine fingers they are dead and buried i know long since and yet as one reads their simple and perhaps an inquiring finger under the crumbling boards of their coffin one has a sense that what lies within and away in modest horror and anguish from the of one s let us leave them to rest in peace then and come back to the and present when mrs met colonel again there could be no doubt at all that he was very much occupied with another woman the whole of the episode had been deeply humiliating and distressing to her not that she bore the colonel any grudge her own marriage she held had entirely any vow of he might formerly have made her too the idea of engaging in a competition with pierce was ridiculous admitted herself to be plain middle aged uninteresting with rather pathetic in suspense but now the scene had changed apparently sorrow pain possibly death were ahead she was not in the habit of looking on the bright side of things and had accepted the darkest interpretation of dr statement her mind projected itself with intensity upon the situation and she saw that along with this gloomy prospect came her own opportunity she might now be of use and to be of use too often in a sadly blind and manner was the deepest necessity of s nature she sincerely believed she was to a call of duty alas look a little further into the question those meetings and those hand and kisses of long ago take this affair somehow outside the strict limits of cold duty i fancy but meanwhile the poor thing had a moment of strong exultation as she sat stiffly on her hard chair by her boy s bedside she would go and see plead and reason with her her to acknowledge the truth painful as it was and meet it bravely and lovingly never mind if at first the young girl should be angry with her and intimate in her neat clear cut smiling way that she mrs had been guilty of an impertinence just now felt herself strong daring not to be by anything to set things right and then to retire into silence and obscurity seemed to her a rather splendid way of her relation with her old lover the bells together once or twice loud and clear then there was silence little woke with a smothered cry and sat up in his small white his face flushed with sleep and his eyes staring wide open mother mother are you there he called had a horrid dream put her arms quickly round the little trembling figure yes dearest i am here she answered master recovered himself with great that s all right he said i was most awfully frightened laid her thin worn cheek against the little lad s soft round one and pressed him nearer to her but the child drew back his head i say mother you re all wet and you know he remarked with an air of considerable disgust i believe you ve been crying she had not known it before but now that called her attention to the fact became aware that she had been crying a good deal i say mother you must stop off that i don t like it continued the boy in a tone of high authority colonel s wife then as his mother wiped her eyes he added with the sublime of childhood and too there s nothing to cry for now that i m getting better s heart smote her no no darling she said there s nothing	32
being a native too i am sure there are advantages in animation well now colonel your wife is what i call very animated don t you think it s an advantage any way the speaker mrs occupied a chair in s drawing room it may be added that she occupied it very fully not that she was a large or overflowing person both in face and figure she was not only but decidedly pleasing she had a way however on all occasions of appearing in suspense to present herself voluntarily for public inspection and of being so pre eminently aware of her own presence that others became almost to themselves aware of it too mrs sat perfectly still in her chair with her remarkably small hands in a pretty pose on her lap and poured forth her stream of statement with extraordinary rapidity turning her head from side to side and addressing the different members of her audience in turn is a lost art in england on the other side of the atlantic it appears still to flourish mrs had a great deal of somewhat of the monthly fashion plate order perhaps but it made an impression nevertheless upon certain sections of english society the real difficulty is young men said mrs jack as soon as a pause enabled her to thrust in a remark young men are always the bother at a ball in the country mrs jack threw back the fronts of her heavy thereby exhibiting a fine bust and a waist still possessing claims to neatness in an plain well fitting dress body of gather loud s action was always large she was perhaps somewhat healthy in appearance her steady colour abundant dark hair bold though kindly brown eyes strong voice and positive movements gave one an impression of n almost vulgar from those ills that flesh is heir to she had a decided prejudice in favour of herself and her own possessions which prejudice had the happy effect of keeping her in a pretty constant good temper in short she was as her husband so often said of her a capital good fellow it may be noted in passing that one s admiration for mrs jack had an inclination to find expression in a class of terms usually reserved for members of the stronger sex she had driven herself over to the house to day with her head full of an important project the time of mourning for old was well over and mrs jack had it on her mind to make her public entry into local society in her new character of mistress of one of the best known places in south with nothing less than a really good ball she had come to discuss this question with her pretty sister in law for whose knowledge of how to do things and capacity for detail she possessed a high respect then too had a lingering feeling that it was by something of a after all that she instead of the colonel s fascinating wife found herself at and she took in her large good hearted way such lively satisfaction in her present and possessions that she perhaps somewhat over estimated s loss in the matter colonel en s wife and felt particularly anxious to as much as possible to her young s observation about the difficulty of obtaining young men opened the of mrs s discourse again very promptly why she said now mrs john there is to begin with i know he is married but you would call him a young man wouldn t you though he is married i call him a young man he is only four years older than i am and i am a young woman now ain t i mr of course if i ask you you couldn t say i was an old woman i know that but i really am a young woman and then there is i will speak to mrs john is a very good friend of mine he must have a house at there are forty two at he could ask a number of young men down my cousin is coming to england in january you said in january didn t you mrs john could ask him i mean down to too murmured mr the excellent little man was sitting with his knees very far apart on a just opposite the fire which had caught his face as the saying is and made it even than usual yes to be sure remember him perfectly met him at in the spring people said he was one of your american don t you know had got a sort of a fortune i don t know about responded the lady in her high thin tones seems to mean something dreadful something with two heads well has not got two heads any way he is very nice looking some people say he is rather ordinary i don t think he is ordinary unless it is ordinary to be like a gentleman is just the most perfect gentleman then there is i don t usually call gentlemen by their first names like that i think it is bad style to do it bad form you would say mr but is a connection of my husband s i always call my cousins by their first names and my cousins by marriage too well mrs john you must ask he is one of mrs s admirers eh well i am sure he is a great admirer of yours mrs said the colonel getting up from the sofa where been sitting a little way from his wife can t i take these fe ci for you in suspense oh yes give me my tea cried cheerily i m as hungry as a hunter after nine miles in the rain why have i said anything wrong exclaimed mrs looking round upon her companions my husband says	32
you have made me feel so badly i shall go home directly i want you to ring the bell right away and order my carriage just at this moment threw the drawing room door wide open mrs he announced in his half manner and and all stood revealed in the doorway oh my cried mrs involuntarily mrs dear me exclaimed turning round with an air of considerable surprise and speaking in tones that were perfectly audible philip rose hastily to his feet too hastily in fact for he had to wait a moment before he could follow his wife across the room to meet the new comer he had noted a disagreeable tendency in himself in the last few weeks which gave him a great deal of annoyance a small matter would cause him to start and change colour he had the greatest difficulty in keeping himself in hand in avoiding speaking sharply and angrily at times it seemed to him that all his nerves had got outside his skin so to speak jumped up with a little cry of pleasure she swept across the room in her long trailing tea gown with the most charming smile of welcome on her pretty face why she hardly knew but she was immensely glad to see mrs just then this is delightful she said i didn t know you were in england have you heard anything of lately he has left the red villa and mamma is a little mysterious about him she put up her face intending to give a kiss in this moment of and then drawing back suddenly held her carefully away with one hand l colonel s wife ah you must forgive me but you are so very wet surely you cannot have walked out here in this horrible weather some people certainly seem bom to be the sport of unkind circumstance poor mrs her soul of all vanity and self seeking had set off on her mission in the most purely spirit her imagination had attached itself with clinging to this interview with she had the scene twenty times over in her own mind but s mental pictures were painted in tints they were sadly lacking in detail in vivacity of action and in atmosphere she had had a vision of herself a sort of embodied providence earnestly a serious grey and anxious phantom to consider the solemnity of the present condition of her devoted husband who in his turn figured as a vague being sad and shadowy as any ghostly hero greeted by in the dreary kingdom of when she had told the poor woman down in the cottage by the brick fields that she was going on to another house where there was trouble she had spoken honestly out of a strong and simple conviction trouble in her mind was the great all differences of class and surroundings bringing human relations out of the and conventional on to the common ground of our common suffering her gloomy walk had increased the exaltation of s state of mind her vision of the coming interview though wanting in colour was by no means wanting in strong reality to her and now suddenly being ushered into this warm bright fragrant room seeing these people with their air of refined and luxury hearing mrs s shrill chatter as she stood arranging herself a little by the fire and pouring a of statement into mr and mrs jack suffered a cruel shock and transition of feeling what went she out for to see pain sorrow the dread of coming tragedy while that which she did in fact see seemed to her far more akin to kings palaces and the soft usually worn therein felt as though she had fallen from a great height the whole world turned mean and common around her she became conscious of her own and agitation and of the of her present costume she felt how ineffectual almost ridiculous she must look she struggled bravely against her humiliation but it was too strong for her she sank into a bitter conviction of her own and for alas the experience of the son of is too often exactly reversed how many a noble soul starts forth full of hope in search of a kingdom and instead of in suspense j the prophet and the promise and the oil of finds nothing after all but those familiar and old animals his father s such may be brief in execution but they are immensely yes i walked over she said humbly while the fairy palace of her new idea into ruins within her i wanted very much to see you but i had some places to call at on the way she looked down with an expression at once distressed and at her damp skirts and muddy boots i am so sorry she went on fm afraid fm very dirty mrs must take off her cloak and you must get it dried for her said the colonel if you re kind enough mrs to come out and see my wife in such weather i m sure the least she can do is to take good care of you when you get here glanced at the speaker quickly and gratefully then she began at the buttons of her cloak unhappy she was desperately nervous and all her fingers turned into i believe i must ask you to go and hurry up the carriage mr mrs was meanwhile saying my husband says i always stay too late when i come to see mrs well i dare say i do i think mrs just one of the sweetest women i know don t you think her awfully sweet now i don t like using that word awfully i don t think it s i suppose i caught it from my husband i always have been very quick about catching things my mother always	32
said i had a wonderfully good ear it is a great thing to have a good ear now isn t it mrs john and so on and so on philip s nerves were on edge between mrs s chatter on one side and mrs s unsuccessful struggles with her on the other he began to feel the position intolerable he even went so far as to motion rather to help her guest off with that odious garment but the young lady merely put up her eyebrows with a amused expression looked at s moist clothes at her own dainty hands and then back at her husband again and philip was just whether he had not better go down on his knees before his love of long ago and fight hand to hand with those obstinate buttons himself when came to the rescue here she cried in her large capable manner let me do it your buttons are a size too big for your button holes yoa colonel en s wife know mrs all right though i ll manage them there you are she added as she whipped off the offending and there indeed was with the pure self sacrificing soul of a saint unseen and with a long lean person adorned about the shoulders too with a not over fresh red and white cross over quite distinctly you in the face as you may say with its lamentable want of elegance and distinction oh my murmured mrs again under her breath then she announced for the twentieth time that she must go and after an and comprehensive leave taking away still chattering and all a few minutes later mrs jack made a move well my dear come over and see me as soon as you can she said as she kissed her pretty sister in law we ll have a good talk about the ball and really settle things the last week in january would be best i think the hounds meet at that week and there s the hospital ball on the wednesday so we could work it all in nicely mind i reckon on you you re clever you know and i m not if you re driving yourself i advise you to go the lower way through park observed the colonel as he helped on with her the road up by cross is in an uncommonly bad state not fit to take horses over at night when mrs jack followed by the two gentlemen had left the room felt the hour of her trial had arrived had given her some tea but she was too agitated to drink it she sat enough on the nursing her cup which made a little slip and rattle every now and then from the of her hands as to her rush of enthusiasm for mrs had speedily under the influences of the melancholy she had found out that had been a long while in england and could give her no fresh news of notwithstanding her delightful tea gown the young lady felt too that the last hour had not been exactly crowned with success she was a trifle out of temper and her irritation took the form of malice she moved across heaped a couple more logs on to the fire the quick leap of the flame as the edges of the wood touched the glowing bed of coal beneath and then turning upon her guest with a brilliant smile observed you said you wanted very much to see me had in suspense z s you anything special to say because here is an excellent opportunity we are alone i am attentive the girl stood in an easy attitude looking admirably pretty with her head a trifle on one side and her eyes fixed on her companion s face was not mrs s strong point everything had gone badly for her yet she clung with a kind of unfortunate heroism to truth and duty i did want to see you very much she said looking up in her tired troubled way and speaking with hesitation i had something i felt i ought to say to you but it is so difficult to know how best to say it a mischievous light came into s bright eyes she had something of a child s thoughtless pleasure in and larger more helpless creatures than herself begin at the very beginning dear she answered softly and go straight on no doubt if i attend very carefully i shall eventually understand even though i am rather a stupid person i was afraid from something i had heard that you might be anxious and distressed there was an appeal in the elder woman s manner she implored the girl not to laugh at her and i fancied you might not quite know what to do being here without mrs pierce or any old friend to speak to i thought perhaps you would be glad to talk to a woman you knew somebody whom you had known a long while it is easier to say things to an old acquaintance i don t want to put myself forward she added hastily i only wanted you to make use of me if there was nobody better during the above speech a succession of different expressions crossed s face the merriment passed away for a moment that painful look of unreasonable terror stared out of it then the girl seemed to arrive at a firm determination she became calm almost smiling again mrs was not in a condition to register much less to interpret the meaning of these rapid changes she had set down her tea and forward full of confused longing and sympathy i do not pretend to understand exactly what you mean said the girl looking away into the fire while she the elaborate on the front of her gown though i do not doubt that your intentions are full of kindness if	32
you have heard any to the effect that i am not happy they are colonel en s wife false i am not distressed i am not at all anxious why should i be my life is generally delightful philip is charming to me we are all a little bored at times of course and to be bored is a great evil but now that philip has given up hunting i am rarely bored because i am rarely alone but but cried speaking oh please don t be angry with me are you sure you are not deceiving yourself and overlooking something it s no business of mine i know but you are so young of course you can t be expected to understand the importance of those little indications you see you can t have much experience of course i don t blame you for an instant i only want to save you from regret when it may be too late you spoke of colonel en just now you say he has given up hunting and people say he is not looking well don t you think but there mrs stopped the blood rushed into her thin cheeks for the life of her she could get no further s lips parted but it was hardly in a smile this time the two rows of small white teeth were set very firmly together she drew herself back a little like some beautiful thing crouching ready to spring mon i you are mysterious she said fortunately my nerves are good or your conversation might appear absolutely alarming oh cried mrs she knelt down on the floor before the girl and put out her hands in an agony of entreaty don t be hard with me don t turn away don t me i wouldn t trouble you but that i care so much about your happiness and and your husband s he is ill do listen dear try to be brave and face it i would do anything in the world to help you only but interrupted her go away she burst out fiercely go away what right have you to come here and disturb and frighten me with all sorts of and gossip get up off the floor i do not want you why do you come to me with that horrible shawl too and talk to me and suggest things and make me uneasy and cause me to be violent which i hate being and rude and as i am now i will not know or hear or see i will not know i tell you it is all an invention a wretched lie to poison my happiness you are cruel you are envious get away from me meantime a passage of arms of a very different character had in suspense been taking place between mrs jack and in the front hall you can t let her walk back to you know in this weather had said laughing if there s a grain of proper feeling left in you you ll drive her home in that celebrated dog cart proper i proper s just the wrong word replied mr about why god bless me think of the talk dog cart dusk unknown lady and your humble servant impossible you know there s an end of my reputation i didn t know you had any left by this time if you have of course that makes a difference didn t know i d any left eh mr rubbed his hands he was immensely delighted heard anything particular about me then just lately oh something abominable scandalous really you know i hardly like to repeat it mrs jack at the back of her to get it into place and laughed again good save poor the walk back to and i ll get over my modesty and tell you the colonel stood at the hall door looking out into the evening the lamps of mrs jack s carriage showed with a red glare through heavy air as the coachman walked the horses slowly up and down the carriage sweep the moisture with a dull sound from the near trees and overhanging of the philip was sad and very tired worn with strain of suffering and of constant worn with that weary daily struggle to look just as usual be cheerful and keep up appearances worn with fear of his wife s detection worn with yearning that she might come to him and lay her fair head on his breast and tell him that she knew all and still loved him that ill or well it should make no difference looking out into the mist and darkness the strain seemed a little more than he could bear the thought crossed his mind how long would it all go on should he be able to stand it but he drove the thought away from him strongly with a movement of pride and self contempt the night it seemed gave evil counsel he turned back into the hall again where and were still each other you gave thirty pounds to that tiresome hospital over and above your when their funds were low at said the lady isn t that enough to make half s el wife die county cot yoa think how mean made all the rest of lis look abominable oh confound it mrs cried the worthy man with an air of deep disgust that s all is it oh now i tell you what make a bargain with you i ll drive rs home to night if ask her to your ball in it would be a rate thing to do looks as if she wanted a shaking up poor thing somehow very well anything you like i really must go she ll refuse though so i shall have much the best of the bargain there stop the carriage please philip i m	32
awfully late and bring over as soon as you can we re always delighted to see her i believe she grows prettier every day good bye mr mind you don t back out of your engagement yes all right i am well tucked up thanks now cried mr back into the hall again when mrs jack was fairly off tm regularly in for it you see i ve got to make proposals to the widow do you think she d be willing to move soon i ve got a man coming to dinner so i must trot could you go and sound her do you think when colonel went back into the drawing room he perceived immediately that something had gone wrong came swiftly up to him and took hold of his arm did you send her she demanded pointing to mrs who stood a limp dejected figure on the other side of the room did you know she was coming here to me dear child be quiet he answered in a low voice i ve sent nobody to you i don t even know what you are talking about the tone of philip s voice and his look as he bent down over the girl and spoke to her were just the last straw to she had done no good it was all a miserable failure the very completeness of her defeat the utter impossibility of explaining and putting herself in the right gave her the dignity of desperation she could not trust herself to look again at philip as she moved across towards the door i will go she said quietly i am very much pained at what has occurred i but the colonel interrupted her he was thankful to have something to speak about my friend is just going to drive back to he said to mrs and keeping his hand steadily on his wife s shoulder meanwhile he me to ask if you would do him the honour of driving back with him in suspense it s a wretched night and will be very dark soon i don t think you ought to walk hesitated she was very unhappy she would have been glad to be alone but she did not want to appear unreasonable or in any way offended it is very kind of mr she replied and her voice was a little don t ask me any questions philip said when she found herself alone with her husband some few minutes later i don t want to talk about it it is not true let us forget all about it she came and up against him and drew his arm round her waist do you love me as much as ever philip she asked colonel paused for a just space of time before answering then he bowed his head solemnly as a man who yes my wife he said i love you just as well as ever was silent for a minute or two as she moved away she said i don t much like mrs i shall not ask her here ain i think philip s face brightened no i would just as soon you didn t he returned i don t very much fancy her either to tell the truth book sixth the fulfilment of prophecy chapter i flesh or spirit the summer and autumn following her step daughter s wedding were to mrs pierce a period of deep and searching experience she had made a return upon herself and that return was not made without considerable pain and mortification she examined herself and took heed to her ways the examination revealed many facts that were far from flattering to her the of her ways showed those same ways to be very far from paths of and peace still in face of the necessity felt by most persons to stand well with themselves it was not a little to mrs pierce s credit that she should so honestly acknowledge her ow n to be ashamed is to be capable of and to be capable of is perhaps the highest good to which any one of us can reasonably nevertheless a sense of shame though most no doubt to the soul is hardly an agreeable or daily was troubled in many different directions she had come to realize with morbid intensity her responsibility toward philip she exaggerated her own share in his marriage the fact that he after all was quite as ready to make his proposal as she was to have him make it she looked with feverish anxiety for the english post and managed to read between the lines to a rather superfluous extent whenever she received a letter either from or the colonel the former hardly possessed the pen of a ready writer her communications were brief dealing largely in fact and in emotion wrote gaily enough but her step mother required more than mere gaiety she demanded as usual assurances and the fulfilment of prophecy they did not seem to her to come colonel when he referred to his wife did so in terms altogether worthy of a true and ardent lover yet somehow was not wholly satisfied on the other hand let it be granted that hers was a nature very prone to believe in the of self torture mr wrote too his letters arrived with a regularity and too careful quite to please the of them they were amusing and affectionate letters but they were wanting in what may be called the note of intimacy they were the letters of a man who is sensible of an obligation and who to fulfil it in the very best manner women have l eyes for these was travelling in the east in company with two agreeable young french gentlemen of his acquaintance they were making he wrote quite yet not without refreshing touches of his habitual of ruined temples of deserts and and and the last	32
of his his route was uncertain he said it was difficult to say exactly when or where letters would find him sometimes his cousin tore up these sparkling in a passion of impatience sometimes she came very near shedding tears over them poor creature one way and another she was certainly a good deal tried just now her life seemed to her barren and miss had returned but both that lady s gentle and s grim tenderness harassed mrs pierce sadly a household composed exclusively of women is always liable to take a turn in the eccentric and hysterical direction notwithstanding their true regard for one another all three women grew it must be owned uncommonly j each one of the being prepared to affirm that she alone was keeping her head while the others were exhibiting unmistakable signs of insanity about the end of august miss however came involuntarily but to the rescue had stoutly refused to go away at moments she hated the red villa yet she had a morbid dread of leaving it and venturing into the outer world again the summer was hot the dust and glare from the and the sea almost blinding as one day followed another poor little miss began to give out she missed s joyous presence she missed the gentle excitement necessarily produced in an innocent and heart by the daily sight of a good looking young man with that most attractive of all attributes a history miss began to melt both mentally colonel s wife and physically her round little figure fell away till the fronts of her mild grey cotton and dresses became quite loose and her pale blue eyes grew daily more vague and watery between heat and worry and depression she was on the verge of a serious suddenly discovered all this called herself a monster of selfishness and ingratitude and before her companion had time to draw a breath or utter a feeble protest against giving everybody so much trouble the villa was left with locked doors and closed shutters in the care of the peasant and she herself was being back into good spirits and among the cool breezes and deep green valleys of winter saw the household re established in its old quarters and to her old troubles which by the way assailed her pretty when she resumed her solitary mode of existence had contrived to add a new one or to speak more accurately to revive a past one which first the society of her republican friends and then mr advent had put to flight some years previously she plunged into religious once more she became anxious about the welfare of her soul but this time thanks to the conversations of a cultivated and agreeable catholic priest whom she happened to meet during her in the mountains her aspirations no longer turned in the direction of but in that of the roman communion the gentleman in question himself an talked to mrs pierce with admirable tact charming and with that suggestion of personal conviction which is so to an enthusiastic woman is not seen in a very refined or spiritual form in italy england unquestionably in the present day has the privilege of producing the most exquisite flower of that profoundly and system was unhappy she was in need of advice she as she had frequently done before after a distinct a light seemed to break upon her clouded spirit she confessed to this stranger things which she would have found it impossible to tell her oldest friend perhaps she has never quite forgotten the words which closed her last interview with him out on the short turf of the mountain side with the solemnity of the everlasting hills brooding above her and the murmur of the streams in her ears the church he said has infinite you have only to claim them the doors of her holy places stand ever open j her hands are ever outstretched in blessing to draw souls the fulfilment of prophecy to her she alone has dared to fulfil the whole of the divine adding the wisdom of the serpent to the of the dove she alone has had the glorious audacity to look at human nature as it really is not turning away her eyes from what is vile and foul and shameful in it either in outraged pride or despair she can dare to every wound and search deep into the secret places of man s sin heart because she knows that a miraculous power of healing is with her still and that she has hope even for the most degraded and fallen some persons venture to smile at the church as as the perverse of in truth she of all systems is the only living and one while keeping firm hold on the wisdom and beauty of the past she is willing to use the wisdom and beauty of the present she treats the diseases of the soul as modern science treats those of the body she is always acquiring new facts fresh of eternal law come to her and she will give you rest the only rest possible amid the intricate desires the and conflicting passions of modem life she offers you the serene repose of faith and of obedience she you from yourself she gives you a rule of life consecrated by the acceptance of saints and she gives you a law as well as a gospel believe me there can be no peace here or hereafter for those who will not accept the first as well as the last of those two things it followed that mrs pierce went back to the little red villa with the inspiring sense of a great possibility hanging over her she was deeply stirred how much the charm of her new teacher s voice and manner his delightful from the	32
world and lively knowledge of it went for in her growing convictions i cannot pretend to pronounce bearing in mind the tendencies of the lady s nature and the present state of her affections i cannot but imagine that they certainly went for a good deal here i feel that some always supposing that an should condescend to these humble pages may cry out rather angrily is there no influence then which one human being exercises over another that is wholly pure by any question of sex above all reproach of the material element that question is a painful and one to answer yet i am afraid the present writer must honestly confess that for his part he has never yet had the happiness of witnessing the operation of such an influence he to add in that if at any future time he should do so it will give him the very highest satisfaction to chronicle it colonel s wife anyhow took her spiritual quite seriously she spent the early winter months tossed on a sea of doubt and it was not wholly disagreeable to her perhaps few this condition of mental agitation made her extremely interesting to herself and as long as one is interesting to one s self life cannot be said to be the real victim of the situation was miss she was constantly required to read aloud lives of the saints histories of the church and sundry and manifold of a and order the good little woman being herself a of what may be described as the monthly packet school was put about by this outbreak of on the part of her she had a tenderness for the early british church and had been wont to speak with of the pretensions of the bishop of rome now all the foundations of her position seemed in danger of being rent asunder the poor dear british church daily threatened to assume a wholly vague character while appeared painfully likely to get it all his own way after all and miss caught herself more than once in the act of the expression his for her former contemptuous and comfortably by the end of december was in a state of mind in which one from a strong hand would have settled the matter for good and all she was constant in her attendance at the large decorated church down at j she read and meditated regularly she talked and thought of little besides this one subject and it is a subject on which there is a vast amount to be thought and said miss mourned alone up in her large bare bed chamber over the existence of moderate and the of her fathers grew daily more grey and personally she failed to see what anybody was likely to gain by an exchange of religious systems it s all very well to call yourself something different she said but there don t tell me you ain t a bit different really it s just the same as a woman changing her name in marriage she fancies she s going to slip out of all her old but she finds out she is the same woman after all though i ll be bound she wishes she wasn t often enough now i never held very much with mr she added but i can t say but what i should be glad to see him if he came back just now miss to whom the above observations were addressed the fulfilment of prophecy gave no direct answer her moist blue eyes were firmly fixed upon a large spot which sadly the of her grey there was a so to speak about miss which made her appear a very feeble and trivial affair at times to the strong minded waiting woman by the beginning of the new year believed she had arrived at an decision she wrote a long and letter to her acquaintance of the summer whose arguments and sympathy had so deeply affected her nor did contemplate taking half measures the attraction of the strictly religious life dazzled her imagination she longed by one definite act to cut short both her difficulties of faith and of the affections she to herself her parting letters to and to the to it would be a tremendous slap in the face which she took a bitter pride in the thought of colonel she felt would probably and be extremely angry englishmen of his type were usually prejudiced in such matters but she believed with all the turbulent of her generous nature that at length she had found rest unto her soul she smiled at opposition and was disposed to wave the martyr s palm before she had gained it too in a slightly manner she made an official announcement of her plans one particularly cold and dreary morning to scorned she informed her faithful servant that she had arranged to go shortly to england and put herself in direct communication with the superior of a religious house there with a view to becoming eventually a member of the community ive been expecting something of this sort for a long time replied with rather of course you can do as you like ma am j there s nobody i know of to prevent you she then returned quietly to the examination of the pile of clean house linen she carried over her arm i was going to ask you to get some new sets of chamber she added these are wearing very thin in places but of course if you re going out of housekeeping they won t be wanted this innocent remark had somewhat the effect of a sudden dash of cold water in mrs pierce s face you don t take it seriously she cried you don t really believe in it well there s some things you do believe in more	32
after they ve happened colonel s wife gave the linen a shake to make it lie flat on her felt extremely angry she gathered the rich heavy cloak she was wearing the passages and stair ways ot the little red villa were cold close about her handsome bust and shoulders and swept away downstairs in consequence perhaps of the episode above miss was kept particularly hard at work on the lives of the saints and church history during the following afternoon it was an odious day one of those days in fact in which beautiful smiling italy gives way to the temper and becomes a perfect the harsh wind rushed round the comers of the house rattling the wooden shutters backwards and forwards between the wall and their iron and whistling in every of the ill fitting sharp showers of snow and fell at intervals out the town below and the long line of on the beach and leaving when they had passed a starved and dreary world shuddering beneath a hard grey sky with her books and papers her companion and her fire of resentment against who had refused to take her seriously was sitting in the small drawing room in which she had had her memorable conversation with colonel the day after his arrival in the spring the aspect of the room was the legged white and gold chairs the high bare walls the pale ceiling and the sun window curtains swaying in the draughts that made their way in freely at the hinges and catches of the large produced a sufficiently cheerless and even poverty stricken interior those miserable little italian of wood pile them together as you may upon the hearth seem powerless to the chill that about these chambers and marble floors firom november till april drew her soft fur cloak closer about her and shivered she was bound to disregard comforts to cultivate a severe habit of mind meanwhile she disliked this bleak weather quite and had a frivolous disposition to aloud over the draughts and the moaning wind ce le courage read miss carefully both her and her et et forgive my interrupting you said j but don t you think if the screen was pulled a little more this way no like that i mean to the right we should be warmer there is a simply blast coming in at that window yes thanks that really the fulfilment of prophecy is better and s don t trouble to go back pray i remember about his piety and courage miss sat down again by the small table loaded with serious looking volumes her gentle and modest spirit and her dependent position made these same lives very attractive to her the calm delicate yet austere pages of were more sympathetic to miss than she was quite willing to allow oh yes she went on us de ot il par des d surely there is some one at the front door exclaimed mrs pierce notwithstanding her magnificent projects and finely religious moods and fancies this lady was at bottom like all true women essentially and personal the early saint with his courage and bands of was undoubtedly deeply important she had a perfectly sincere belief that his life had a subtle and profound if slightly obscure bearing upon her own spiritual needs and history and yet alas for human weakness somebody at the front door was certainly more immediately interesting she had the grace however to make an attempt at concealing an open acknowledgment of this pitiful fact both from herself and miss and added surely no one in their senses would dream of coming here to day it really would be most when we are settled down at work like this i hate being interrupted des d von d il d de qui there is some one coming upstairs said mrs pierce she let the she held in her hands slip on to the ground at her side her mouth was slightly open she sat bolt upright listening intently it is probably going to fasten the drawing room shutters miss observed in a tone of mild reproach then she went on reading again de qui se h de et qui le pour y miss you must stop pray stop cried mrs pierce she had turned very pale she stood up her handsome dark eyes had a wild eager light xx them and the fur lined cloak colonel s wife she still wore fell back from her shoulders in a royal sort of fashion good little miss looked up in innocent bewilderment troubled with uncomfortable visions of the possible arrival in bodily form of the afore mentioned on the landing without as the door opened gave a low laugh yes i knew it i knew it she said under her breath then her expression grew tense and defiant again whatever we may be tempted to make upon his conduct in some matters it is quite tliat mr possessed a fund of the most admirable composure he into the small drawing room of the villa after some nine months absence in far distant lands on that bitter blowing january day with the air of a man who has at most been away for half an hour ah he murmured in his rich sweet tones you really contrive to be warm in here what a mercy the weather outside is a scandal it is an absolute outrage you have come back said hoarsely she did not offer to go forward and greet him but stood quite still in the same rigid attitude yes i believe so he replied smiling at her mildly surely it is a very reasonable thing to do it is quite a long time when one comes to think of it since i have had the pleasure of seeing you dear cousin and miss bowed pleasantly to the latter lady as he finished his	32
a crazy dream and you have been forced into it hurriedly without due consideration through my folly take it back while you can i will forgive you i will drive it out of my mind i will never never refer to it or reproach you but if you go further oh i am so weak i shall not b able to bear it it will break my heart for all answer bent forward and kissed her on the lips it was fore ordained it is done and settled pray don t say so many charming things to me you will make me conceited and it would be an obvious mistake on your part to increase the number of my offensive peculiarities just as you have made up your mind to pass the remainder of your natural life in my company later that same evening when she had read s letter mrs pierce turned in very warmly towards the colonel did she not after all practically owe him everything she had got what she had longed so for at last and the satisfaction of her longing far from making her selfish exalted her moral nature for the time and produced in her a craving after conduct that seemed to her heroic and splendid you must go to england she said yes i will dare to trust you indeed i should feel safer if you see again lifted her head proudly she looked really superb as she spoke ah i what a medicine is happiness i the physician giving his a which induced it need not fear but that his name through all future ages would rival own i do not say that i shall not suffer horribly at moments but i will offer up my suffering as an with his will or against it you must save colonel colonel s wife this was all very well smiled and raised his eyebrows his cousin s enthusiastic treatment of the subject appeared to him both pretty and amusing i have the highest regard for he said but does it not strike you that there may be a slight inconvenience we were not united during his stay here in exactly the closer bonds of affection never mind she answered is right your words have greater weight with than any one else s she will attend to what you say you must go soon you must manage it surely added very sweetly and gently if i am you should go i realize the risk you can hardly refuse made her own comment on mr return whether she apprehended all the consequences likely to result from that event i cannot say but she selected a characteristic manner of expressing her general sense of approval i think you might as well get those new sets of after all ma am she said as she brushed out her mistress s masses of fine dusky hair that night turned round upon her with glowing cheeks and flashing eyes you are impertinent she cried why may i as well get them oh you know your own mind best of course ma am returned the other woman calmly you make me pull out your hair dreadfully when you twist about like that you never could sit quiet and sensible to have your hair brushed ever since you were a child only these as i told you are wearing as thin as they don t pay for my time mending and i thought we t be going out of housekeeping quite so soon after all ended up with a very audible and the and the lives of the saints and the blessed repose of a religious house and the infinite of the holy ah i well sweet reader we must not ask too much from poor human nature mr had come back you see and that had made a difference to the relative value of these thing the fulfilment of prophecy chapter dr comes near a first mistake by a second mrs jack s ball was a great success everybody said so and in the verdict of the multitude is truth at least so the gospel of the present era us the whole entertainment went off admirably it had all been done generously and in the very best style one disturbing episode did indeed occur in the course of the evening which to a of a morbid and gloomy temper might have served as a text for a discourse one member of the assembled company did unquestionably have his measure of enjoyment off painfully short but there let us by all means avoid the soft places of over tender sentiment and taking our stand on the solid ground of common sense proclaim aloud the doctrine of the greatest happiness of the greatest number this over careful consideration of the fate of a here and there a lamentable of vision we will base ourselves stand with our legs very wide apart and so keep our balance spite of certain and shall the instruments of the be silenced and the quick feet of the dancers be stayed shall the cold baked be left and the wine because one individual has had the ill luck to fall a victim to some of those manifold evils that lie ever in wait for the unhappy sons and daughters of men no indeed says the wise world j such things are altogether too common to affect us are they not happening somewhere all day long rather then let the pulse of the beat faster and more and the young figures drift more rapidly across the gleaming floor while the hot air of the ball room with light and emotion dance on cries the wise world let the beautiful madness have its fullest sway its time is short at best the feverish hours are passing hastening fleeting onward towards the chill solemnity of the winter dawn even as the fantastic passionate lives of	32
unkind or ill natured but she is not somehow quite like other people ah you feel that too returned the doctor he nodded as one who could say a good deal more if he chose to do so and then throwing his head back sank into a rather easier attitude on the i have made nearer acquaintance with mrs since we last discussed this subject a singular nature a curious and interesting study so highly developed in some directions and in others perfectly true mrs i have feared lately that i had asked you to perform a very hard task mrs would be remarkably difficult to appeal to under some circumstances hesitated finally she said do you mean that she s deficient in any way oh dear no replied dr with alacrity not in the least deficient in the ordinary of the term i should say on the contrary that this young lady though really i must for so charming a person to a cold blooded critical analysis i should say she was a trifle over the body almost too quickly to the instincts and emotions it them with too great readiness second thoughts you know are admitted to be best and this young lady i fancy never arrives at second thoughts at all but speaks and acts entirely from the impulse of the moment with amazing in fact and that is perilous he added especially for others looked up the words though she did not comprehend them conveyed a disturbing impression to her mind the fulfilment of prophecy our creed my dear mrs our creed requires us to believe that every human being is the possessor for joy or sorrow of an immortal soul otherwise spoke with a touch of the manner were i free in short to follow my own conclusions i bow to the authority of my creed of course and from following them i should venture most seriously to question the truth of that doctrine the doctor was becoming but the general sense of well being already alluded to the tongue to a extent and frequently a man to give voice to his deepest thought which had better be hidden instead of to his superficial and conventional thought which may be presented to society with perfect safety just at that moment however the stream of his eloquence suffered a violent check a mild youth who stood in need of a few lessons from some professor of dancing judging from his extremely method of suddenly deposited a ponderous lady in and old garments plump on the doctor s lap beg your pardon ejaculated the youth all in one word and recovering at the same moment both his own footing and his grasp on his partner s waist plunged away with her again into the crowd ah good gracious how deeply embarrassing cried the doctor rubbing his knees bruised with the heavy weight so unexpectedly let down upon them then he cleared his throat and arranged himself a little to resume he observed with dignity that the of a soul is always present i will not deny but in rare and curious cases it seems never to develop out of the condition some persons are essentially too natural and healthy to produce soul i speak to put it in a more accurate every nature has only a certain capacity if the body is highly and the intelligence highly too there is not force enough left over to promote active development of spirit we are coming to acknowledge that the moral constitution may be subject to disease and defect just as the physical constitution has long been admitted to be why not carry on the one step farther and allow that the spiritual constitution may be and likewise my professional experience i own me to hail any of the load of human responsibility dr drew himself up short he became aware that he had wandered away along paths of speculation to colonel wife a wild and region through which courtesy his inviting mrs to follow him in her gown and grey kid gloves but really he said with his smile i oi your forbearance most i advocate and then proceed to weary you with and i fear un questions forgive me mrs an too often makes an speaker however was not light in hand her was slow but it was she sat hearing the gay pathetic music the of conversation and rustle of women s garments and seeing the involved and quickly changing figures of the dance in mute astonishment almost horror to hei conscience formed in a definitely religious mould accepting the solution of the of existence the doctor s ingenious little theories were not merely but injurious bewildering terribly do you mean to say you think the person we were talking of has no soul she inquired in a scared whisper h you must not take my words too seriously my dear madam he answered i spoke as one speaks in the between absolute truth and mere fancy i spoke in what i may as a scientific spirit the tongue is an member you know and leaves strict too often far behind it i must try to justify myself i mean just this he sat up ah there observe her now he cried quickly in her passed close by them raising with she had been with him pretty all the evening by the way they both danced well but dancing had a peculiar quality about it it was more than graceful and accurate if i may indulge for a moment in dr rather fanciful way of regarding things i should describe these two dancers as being animated with a common life there was a singular not of purpose for it was perfectly spontaneous and instinctive but of emotion about which expressed itself as much in	32
the action of her rounded figure as in her face there was a fulness of enjoyment in every easy gliding motion she danced not as the ordinary young lady dances in the ordinary ball room with a consciousness oi and propriety in the background with a touch ol about the set of her skirt and suspicions that she is beginning to look heated yielded herself up to her dancing with an extraordinary of purpose the the fulfilment of prophecy whole woman danced careless alike of past and future with the victorious ease and grace of overflowing health and gaiety with no desire no beyond the enjoyment of the present moment as mrs watched her in the light of her conversation with the doctor as she noted the exquisitely harmonious movements the clear cheek the even rise and fall of the girl s bosom the content of her eyes as the turns of the brought her face for a few seconds into view r as i say she marked all this mrs shrank back into herself dazzled amazed almost ed at the vista of of possibilities that opened before her dr looked at her closely he perceived that she saw dimly and perhaps but still saw that which he had desired she should see human nature is very complicated he began a trifle you cannot or account for its infinite under any single system mrs i am no scholar in the sense of the term i regret to say i am a mere in the of that ocean of fable which is at once so hopelessly fantastic and so deeply with some of the most obscure and intimate secrets of existence but in watching that young lady just now i could not avoid thinking of the ancient conception of a race of beings supplying the missing link between ourselves and the dumb animals about us i seemed to be carried back in imagination to an old old world older than right and wrong older than heaven and hell a calm simple sunny light hearted world where nature reigned and in which man was but the fairest and of the beasts that perish triumphant in his strength and beauty obeying the of his nature by conscience by the suspense and anxiety which come of spiritual he paused as for applause the taste of his own phrases was sweet in his mouth was not in the least disposed to her com s fine words were of small moment to her on this occasion she cared not a rap for times and the golden age and alike were but the of children s story books to her but for the modern instance for the woman she cared intensely that dr whose talent she respected whom she liked and admired should feel justified in such strange and awful things about an acquaintance of her own a woman to whom she stood in a t colonel s wife peculiar relation whose hand she had held in hers whose merry words she had so often listened to with an admiration not with envy was to simply appalling to think of as seemed terrible decidedly mrs was wanting in imagination had the doctor suggested that the girl might be afflicted with or guilty oi it would have been far less painful to her she had no words to express the feeling that oppressed her oh this is all very shocking she murmured very alarming tiie is always more or less shocking i suppose replied dr gravely that the is bound to place those who come into near connection with it in most difficult and trying situations i have no doubt we have not by any means seen the end of this singular business yet i fear mrs it mrs i speak to you quite freely had a child it might prove her salvation it would i believe develop the latent higher nature in her it would give her a soul ah said sadly but a child is a fearful responsibility to you yes he replied smiling but it would not be much of a responsibility to mrs i fancy to her it would be more of a delightful animated than anything else if you will pardon my saying so ladies i know are apt to resent the statement the maternal instinct in its simple form is not a very high one it is mainly physical still from the development of that instinct mrs might get an of the meaning of self and self i take it is the true basis and motive power of all true spiritual life for the first time she would forget she would love turned to her companion with a certain dignity and the blood came into her thin cheeks she has her husband let her love him she said sternly ah i very much fear nature has failed to supply mrs with any instincts under that head the very common one we all possess it in a degree of making the most use possible of a willing slave there i trust you are mistaken said still sternly in sympathy she had taken many steps away from dr in the last ten minutes i shall be only too happy that events should prove me mistaken in the case in point my dear madam he replied one is thankful always to find that one has the gravity of any matter the fulfilment of prophecy the music had ceased the room had grown comparatively empty the sound of footsteps the confused murmur of voices now and again a soft outbreak of laughter wandered in from the hall and passages outside poor sat still looking out over the wide bright space before her she was pained and perplexed she was displeased too and that with one of the few persons who by habitual kindness had won her regard and gratitude dr had a	32
sense that the harmony of his relation with mrs had been disturbed and he regretted it all the more so that in her late movement of severity she had claimed both his respect and admiration under happier circumstances she might have been a charm woman he thought poor colonel is to be pitied perhaps in this also it was so obvious to dr that the lady was not paying any attention to him that he permitted himself to take a good long steady stare at mrs he had certainly never seen her to so much advantage before she was well dressed for once the excitement under which she had both given her dignity and improved her complexion with all her peculiarities there was an unmistakable effect of good breeding about her her and devotion commanded respect she was far from being brilliant or exciting but that she was eminently conscientious and there could be no question whether the good doctor had talked himself into an unusual state of exaltation or whether the atmosphere of a is peculiarly productive of romantic affections i cannot pretend to say but it is certain that a notion which for a long time past had and haunted the chambers of his brain began to take form and with surprising rapidity if that venerable lady mrs could be got rid and he had devised an excellent scheme for her removal l man might dr thought do worse than pass the last stages of his earthly pilgrimage with for a companion he cleared his throat and adjusted his tie with an air of preparation my dear mrs he began the of age favoured by your courteous attention has bid fair to run away with me to night i fear i have exhausted your patience and for myself have wasted an invaluable opportunity there is quite another subject on which i greatly desire to say a few words to you he paused looked at him the doctor s manner was extremely colonel s wife you must pardon my speaking of myself he my position is a singularly independent one i have no near relatives such fortune as i possess is entirely at my own disposal i am not ashamed to say mrs that my income is at the present time a considerable one since it is almost exclusively the result of my own exertions for a professional man i am unusually well off at my death a not sum must pass into other hands so far he had with ease and determination but really it was difficult to go on dr forward and gazed earnestly at the polished oak floor between his feet hoping apparently to gain inspiration from the well set boards as to she regarded him with surprised and slightly anxious attention confidences invariably agitated her you mrs with your quick and genuine sympathy will readily understand that when my thoughts project themselves forward towards the inevitable close towards that final journey which us all they are not untouched with gloom why i ask myself have i thus toiled and what is the object of a man wealth modest wealth i grant you compared with the colossal fortunes of the present day but still wealth if he has no child to benefit by it if no young life is to be and enriched by his past labours mrs made no audible comment it was trying she had a great habit of making no comment under some circumstances that might be very convenient just now it was very inconvenient dr thought he tried to keep up his courage by a mild flight of now that the sun of my existence has so to speak passed the and begun to decline towards the west i find myself desirous to create intimate relations for myself to live no longer in in solitude and at a distance firom my kind my dear lady he said turning full upon her and speaking with real feeling i envy you your boy i have wondered pondered asked myself many searching questions on this subject can we not i ask you and i you earnestly not to reply without duly weighing my request can we not effect a combination of interests a combination which i allow will leave me infinitely your here the doctor bowed courteously to his will you grant me the privilege of sharing those of which you are so sensible will you reward my true and affection by but interrupted him the fulfilment of prophecy look look she cried there is philip dancing dancing with his wife i do not know whether the strength of his professional instincts should be reckoned a credit to him or otherwise but broke off his important discourse with the utmost alacrity sat up and peered eagerly among the passing couples for the one to which mrs had drawn his attention good heavens he exclaimed with a movement of anger what an act of insanity our friend colonel has an absolute enthusiasm for suicide oh go to him implored mrs go to him stop him it is some wickedness of s i can t forgive her the poor woman spoke from the heart regardless of all minor we must not judge the lady too hastily returned the doctor recovering his usual of manner to now would be merely to make an inconvenient scene to put myself hopelessly in the wrong and destroy all confidence between my patient and myself shall we move i should be glad to make my way towards the door with many and dr mrs round two sides of the large room it was really a matter of time and of some difficulty various persons hailed the good man as he passed and refused to let him go away in a hurry then too tlie room was full again and it was not easy to the dancers at last just by uie door leading	32
out into the hall mr breathless excited and in the face than ever met them god bless me he said in a low voice i thought i never should find you i don t want to alarm any one we must keep it quiet nobody fortunately saw what come out here into the hall s ill dying i don t know what but they want you come away to the library they ve put him in there poor dear fellow awful thing you know and with that young wife too talking all the while and hurrying the doctor along with him mr disappeared within the inner hall stood leaning against the wall she shut her eyes and pressed her long thin hand hard against forehead dr and his astonishing and but half conversation were blotted out of her mind only the image of philip remained philip as she had him loved him danced with him over twenty years ago colonel en s wife chapter iii in which death has a mind to dance too in order to explain the episode which proved so startling both to mrs and her companion the kindly reader must be asked to his steps to an earlier period of the evening of mrs jack s social asked moreover to the of his spy glass and contemplate the scene not from the thoughtless of the dancers or from the philosophic of the doctor or from the agitated of but from the simple practical and somewhat melancholy of our friend philip for alas things have been going but with poor philip for some time past and there would seem to be but small hope of their mending what with pain and weakness and black haunting nervous depression he has discomfort enough in his own person to make the days pass heavily nor is this physical distress all he has to put up with struggle as he may it becomes ever more difficult to hide the signs of his trouble from the eyes of his charming wife and them as she may the burden of her husband s affliction has begun to weigh on her it could hardly be otherwise since she was so quick and observant a hundred little indications of the change that had come over him forced themselves upon her and the girl s humour began to change too her sweetness of temper suffered occasional she was capricious difficult to please she seemed to be under the impression that she had come into the world with a divine right to be amused and if amusement failed so much the worse for the person most bound by his position to supply it namely her husband the colonel worked with pathetic diligence to meet his wife s demands for entertainment he tried to take a deep interest in any trivial matter that pleased her encouraged her to go out to entertain let her satisfy any passing fancy that took her and spend money in a rather reckless fashion let her do what she pleased so long as she seemed happy and treated him with affection do anything in the world in fact so long as thereby he could off her discovery of the miserable truth that he was a broken down man whose life was hardly worth an hour s purchase then christmas that season of the financial year the fulfilment of prophecy had come bringing with it revelations of expenditure so considerably in excess of his income that philip had been reluctantly compelled to sacrifice a portion of his capital he had sold out certain shares after much bother and worry to discover of course in the end that he had sold them out just at the wrong moment and at a prodigious disadvantage all this was very far from cheering if mr or any other of the acquaintance were coming to the rescue they had better make haste about it or they might chance to arrive a little too late it has been said with a somewhat transparent affectation of that life would be very tolerable but for its amusements the phrase sounds well it has a ring of and elegant fatigue and it is a very agreeable occupation to with fatigue when you yourself are sound and hearty and to cultivate a mildly tone while you retain a lively sense of personal importance and of the value of your own happy the man who is still young enough in heart and feeling to play a part especially perhaps the part of lofty contempt for the he largely in when however through the operation of unkind fate that phrase concerning life and its amusements becomes practically true for any mortal and light affectation passes into actual fact it is a very dismal business indeed philip had dreaded this particular evening long beforehand it promised to be little better to him than a weariness and a mockery he would have avoided going to stay at and have remained quietly at home but two considerations impelled him to overcome his shrinking from the undertaking notwithstanding her growing could not endure to be without him she demanded that her husband should always be in attendance there was an element in the girl s absolute of solitude not that she was afraid of any of those of sensitive womanhood such as accidents fire ghosts thunder wind in the chimneys death watch or both by day and by night the young lady s wits were very well about her and she was by no means liable to nervous terrors her horror of solitude like her strange horror of sickness and death was something spontaneous impossible to be reasoned over or only present and imperative s constant desire for his presence had during the first sunny months of their marriage been one of philip s deepest seeming as it did to offer a solid of the love he so earnestly needed to believe in	32
even now when alas b colonel s wife the cord of affection was somewhat it supplied a very real bond of union between the husband and wife a bond which philip on his part would have endured anything rather than run the risk of begged him to go to was at his half expressed reluctance it was enough he would go then too an evil spirit of jealousy had taken possession of the colonel lately we must not judge him too hardly the man was very much in love and was paying a heavy price for his affections into the the time would come was sensibly creeping nearer when he must leave this beautiful young creature he knew it in a way he had brought that trial upon himself but after he had left her what would happen perhaps it was mean and unworthy in him i cannot say it seems to me very unquestionably he began to feel bitterly towards other men began to regard them as his natural enemies to regard them much as the doomed captive must have regarded the blooming well fed roman noble casting glances of ill concealed admiration upon his fair haired blue eyed wife the and which is latent in all truly masculine natures put up its ugly head at moments and asserted its existence rather fiercely in colonel he felt was hardly the woman to break her heart over a urn under the shadow of the weeping willow so it came about that for two reasons philip thought it well to go to and being there he tried to forget his many troubles and appear as little peculiar as possible with physical pain to against almost with a mental drama of a penetrating character acting itself out in silence all day long it is not easy one must allow to be perfectly disengaged and indifferent but philip applied himself with to his own business it was a hard fight yet so far reason and will bravely maintained the upper hand during the earlier hours of the evening he had done his duty by various and sundry had stood about in indulging in gossip with the non dancing male members of the philip had no notion of perhaps he would have impressed both his wife and society at large very much more deeply if he had he made commonplace observations got tea for old ladies and for young ones conversed on the topics of the day in no original or profound manner the ends of his moustache contemplated the toes of his shoes and in short conducted himself the fulfilment of prophecy generally as all other gentlemen of good standing habitually conduct themselves at kindred yet notwithstanding the outward and visible signs of being as other men are he was vividly aware all the while of a figure in a gleaming yellow dress of a lovely face full of vivacity and enjoyment he was aware too that this form and countenance was that of his wife of the woman he blindly and loved aware finally that a black figure was always beside her whose feet beat out the exciting measure of the with hers whose arm encircled her waist whose face and unfortunately for the peace of mind it was almost always the same pleasant frank boyish face expressed very openly the warmest gratification in being the happy partner of this very charming person though he had never happened to see dance before philip had taken the notion of her doing so quite for granted his own dancing days were over long ago gentlemen getting on in years about appeared to him a dignified spectacle but to place any on his wife s enjoying herself after this manner would have seemed to him a most act of selfishness now however he experienced even in the midst of a series of communications from that responsible and important person lady on the delightfully shocking subject of a certain well known scandal in high life an increasing sense of irritation and dislike at last of hatred of this of the sentiment of the music of the rapid yet poised and harmonious movement of the dancers philip sat and stared and stared before him at the brilliant swaying shifting scene stared till his brain almost and the whole thing became to him a madness a horror only two persons in all the whirling drifting throng retained their reality to him his wife for whose peace of mind and daily entertainment he was painfully the springs of his own life dry and the man whose carelessness it is true had helped to render that bitter sacrifice necessary philip struggled with himself as we struggle in dreams when some unspeakable thing seems to press down on us alike all power of speech and action would that hateful melody with its sweet never end would those two young figures never cease passing and for a moment the colonel had a wild fear that he should do some desperate thing call aloud commit some folly colonel en s wife i have it i assure you upon the very best authority murmured lady in her fat comfortable voice slowly waving her black fan and turning a countenance upon her companion on the very best authority isn t it perfectly shocking what is society coming to colonel and everybody talks about it too why girls just out of the discuss things now that gentlemen would hardly have spoken of among themselves don t you know after dinner in my youth with a fierce effort at self control philip pulled himself together he felt he must get away and that immediately if he meant to keep his head and not openly disgrace himself making some vague and excuse to lady which left that worthy person in a state of combined resentment and he got up hastily	32
and made his way towards a smaller and less brightly lighted apartment opening off one end of the ball room this little sitting in which by the way philip had said his last good bye to his mother long ago though cleared for dancing was not apparently very popular with tile guests at the present moment it was wholly deserted pictures of departed somewhat personages looked down with their prominent eyes from out of their heavy gilt frames as the present head of their house moved with unsteady steps across the room philip felt half he wanted silence and darkness above all he wanted air air to relieve this horrible choking stifling sensation the floor the walls turned and swam in his uncertain vision and all the while he still seemed to see those two gay young figures dancing dancing before him am i going mad he cried half aloud as he dragged back one of the thick curtains hanging across the bow window at the end of the room behind the curtains was a space formed by the of the window colonel threw himself down on the window seat and the catch of the tall narrow out into the chill quiet of the winter night the sounds from the ball room hardly reached him here behind the curtains which had fallen back again into their place behind him outside the night was frosty and the ground showed a dusky white powdered over with a light of snow that had fallen early in the day immediately under the window was the broad gravel terrace running along the southern and eastern sides of the house beyond were the sloping the fulfilment of prophecy towards the river a sharp wind drove small clouds here and there across the solemn deep of the midnight sky making the keen glittering stars seem to drive with them in a wild race to philip the biting frost and wind brought a certain measure of relief but still over the pale those two figures the light and the dark one seemed to him to drift on dancing dancing still away down towards the impenetrable blackness of the wood and river it all the while to be a mere of weakness and illness yet with a sort of terror deeply moved straining his eyes to pierce the half darkness philip watched the phantom slowly fade and vanish into the night he could not think clearly he only knew that he was suffering that he was the sport of his own impressions that a feverish misery and anxiety possessed him supporting himself with one hand against the stone of the window and resting the other upon the ledge outside colonel leaned out into the cold still semi obscurity he wanted to avoid hearing even the faintest echoes of the light footsteps and of that sweet and to steep his soul in the silence that reigned without he had been however but a few minutes at the window when his attention was attracted by an indistinct object moving along the terrace at first the colonel feared he was still the victim of some delusion but the moving object took unmistakable shape as it came nearer it was only a small s old wire haired which along with all that old s other goods and had come into the possession of his son jack the poor little brute had wandered out of the house to escape the stir and bustle earlier in the evening and now was trotting about vainly searching for some quiet way of slipping indoors again just as he came under the bow window the dog s feelings got the better of him he sat down on the snowy gravel threw up his grey and broke into a long dreary howl philip spoke to the dog and tried to quiet it but the creature refused to be again the grey went up again the long wailing cry rang out through the keen frosty air the colonel was not naturally superstitious but his late sensations had left him shaken and curiously excited the dog there in the dim light and howling was strangely colonel wife to him he tried to drive it away but it would not at last colonel moved back and half closed the window then the dog got up and silently trotted away round the front of the house as he closed the window philip became aware that he was no longer alone two persons were talking together on the other side of the curtains no it s really very provoking i don t think it s fair that a married woman should take complete possession of one of our best dancers in this sort of way ive known for years he was at with my brothers you know and he always kept in our set he used to be so jolly if we d got anything going oh at s keeping he was like one of us don t you know till he came to know her this winter the speaker was evidently a girl both her sentiments and the irritated tone of her high clear to the fact a man answered quickly in a good natured way yes poor s very much gone on mrs certainly she s awfully pretty and he doesn t mean any harm in the world you know but i think it s silly to get into that sort of state myself there s a frightful draught here observed the girl let tis go back into the other room he is making the most of his opportunities to night in any case she s a fearful little i ve counted the young lady s skirts over the bare floor and her words died away in the distance the shock administered by this conversation philip into very vivid life if two men had been speaking he would have shown himself at the end of the first sentence but	32
he could not make a scene with a lady he had been compelled to listen and to wait all his physical all his morbid and were forgotten in those few searching moments his wife his darling was lightly spoken of colonel aside the heavy curtains careless of who might see him and stepped out into the room strong steady resolute as he had been on the best day of his life indeed he would not have been c a pleasant man to cross just his face was set like a flint and there was an ominous blaze in his blue eyes it so happened that almost the first person he came across was herself she was standing just inside the door of the ball room with a little group of men about her among and his mr the fulfilment of prophecy a thin neat young man with small hands and feet one of the boys and the red haired parson from who was in a stout way and murmuring ah very good very good indeed mrs pardon me said the colonel as he his way through the group which melted to right and left as he advanced the excellent divine lingered longest not being quick to take a hint but even he looking at the new comer had an that there was something a trifle dangerous in his aspect and ended by off rather hurriedly in the direction of his arrayed wife well if i ever saw a man look as if he was in a devil of a rage it s observed to his companion mr as he away however greeted her husband with her most of smiles she was as merry as a as bright as a bird where have you been philip she asked not giving him time to speak you were talking to lady just now from my heart i pitied you ah but that woman is a bore and then you disappeared i looked for you i could not see you poor dear philip she was perhaps a trifle too overpowering even for you gave herself a little shake are you not glad she said i am having a evening the humour delicious though it was was hardly calculated to clear colonel s path of difficulties but the fire both of his love and his anger burned fiercely in him still come away he said briefly i want to speak to you she gave him a quick inquiring glance then threw herself up with a pretty touch of dignity and went into the little empty room beyond about the centre of it she stopped and turned well she said with a note of in her tone more than once had told her husband that it became him to be excited undoubtedly as the colonel stood in front of his wife now he looked extremely well remarked it there were very few things indeed that she did not remark and it pleased her ah mon ami she cried but what have you done to yourself you are splendid you are admirable colonel s face did not k here he said slowly you know l don t interfere colonel s wife with as a rule i don t ask you to do anything unreasonable but something has occurred to night never mind what i cannot tell you it was unpleasant colonel ground his teeth together in a sudden fury which me to demand a promise from you promise me that you won t dance with that man again to night there was a moment s silence then answered gaily you are still splendid but unfortunately my dear philip you ask an absurdity why should i not dance with the young man again i grant you he is a simple creature a little like that she shrugged her white shoulders and spread out her hands stupid you know still he is nice looking and he can dance but dance nodded her pretty curly head with an air of profound appreciation the colonel s expression remained sternly determined i cannot tell you why i ask this my dear wife he said quietly i would not pain and disgust you by giving you my reasons but the fact remains i m in no laughing mood and this is no laughing matter trust me in this i know and give me your promise you become she answered looking at him curiously to be is to run the risk of being tiresome dance with me yourself then if i am surrounded with these and mysterious perils it would be a commonplace perhaps to dance with one s husband but it would be safe enough in any case i must dance you see and i have refused the others laid her hand lightly on her husband s arm come she said smiling at him with a touch of malice shall we go they are beginning to play another i must dance and to dance i must have a partner it lies between mr and you philip was in a condition in which the mind refuses to consider possible in which the whole tide of impulse rushes headlong in one direction careless of consequences conscious only of the immediate demand of the present he answered after but a moment s hesitation come then he i ll with you as well that way as any other eh i but that is not a very courteous way of accepting my she responded a trifle taken supposing you dance badly it is a fearful but i resign myself am ready now the fulfilment of prophecy in speaking the girl had made her way back into the ball room and in a minute more they were out in the thick of the spinning throng how will he stand it faster and faster grows the time faster and faster s feet fly over	32
the polished floor once round the big room twisting slipping in and out between the racing couples and the colonel tries to halt go on go on this is nothing j you dance philip whispers the girl and so on again who cares for the risk and danger the folly the madness of it on again with a swift delicious rush motion answering instinctively to the of the music on again round the wide bright room how will he stand it indeed at the end of that second turn the colonel paused close to the door ah it was exquisite cried radiant with pleasure why have you hidden your talents like this philip i am delighted with you i want to go on for ever and ever and ever but colonel had turned faint and ill though his wife was standing beside him her hand resting with a light pressure on his arm her laughing face looking up into his he could not see her clearly a mist seemed to come up before him and blot out all material objects look where he would he could only see those two figures again the light and the dark one dancing always dancing till the whole world turned with them as they turned he pushed his way back through the little crowd standing about the doorway into the deserted room behind this was horrible he drew his hand across his eyes with a fierce gesture he went deadly pale and a cold sweat broke out over his forehead he was aware of an agony of pain which cut and at his heart and seemed to drive like sharp sword right through him had followed him pulling the door to behind her hardly knowing what he did he clutched at her bare arms to save himself from actually falling ah good god i he gasped i can t bear it promise me as i have loved you promise me what i asked now the sudden weight thrown on her made the girl for a moment but she recovered herself again immediately her rounded white arms were like bars of iron under philip s desperate grasp the laughter had died on her lips and in her eyes face grew hard set almost old she waa il j il the fulfilment of prophecy chapter iv man and wife circumstance is cruel to some people and at the risk of appearing to deal in i submit that circumstance was cruel to under other conditions society might have by her charm her brilliant and inexhaustible gaiety and never have dreamed of the lamentable wants in her moral and spiritual constitution just those demands happened to be made upon her that she was unable to meet let circumstance take the blame in part at least and let us spare the woman as much as we may her one impulse was to get away when the library door was fairly closed behind her she paused only for a moment and then turned and as a scared child runs headlong not daring to stay or look behind it across the room down a long dim corridor and into the inner hall whence the main staircase to the upper part of the house here stopped she was breathless half with the haste of her own wild pace half with a strong nervous reaction following the coolness and determination she had shown during those terrible minutes in the library in her whole life she had never experienced anything like this before she was wholly possessed with a frantic rage and terror across from the supper room on the other side of the outer hall passing among the strolling couples who had wandered out from the ball room with his erect bearing came a tray of glasses in his hand waited till he reached the foot of the and then stopped him with a sharp imperative gesture colonel is ill she panted out in short broken sentences ill in the library go to him find mr don t stand there staring at me go to him i say looked at her in amazement her face was her eyes wide open she pressed her hands hard against her heaving bosom are you she cried passionately he is ill i tell you alone there don t you understand go to him set down his tray regardless of appearances c i the centre table in the inner hall his face had a strange expression on it he spoke almost you are coming with me ma am colonel s wife as she looked hastily round for some help or way of escape it took her but a few seconds to realize the full meaning of the situation philip she said in a low voice if you are going to be ill you must come away people will see you here all her strength she half led half dragged her husband across to a door at right angles to the bow window one hand she opened it and setting her back against it to keep it open forced him to enter the room within a large dark library with a faint smell of old volumes and leather it in which just now all the furniture from the other rooms had been huddled away in most admired confusion to make space for the many guests the door remained half open letting in a narrow shaft of light that and definite across a space of floor and on to the chaos of piled up chairs and tables behind the mass of furniture with its confused half discovered shapes oi familiar objects had a effect about it forming as it did a background to the graceful form of the girl in her ball dress and to that of the man whom she supported can you stand alone asked suddenly breaking the silence with her clear tones she turned away and with all her	32
force dragged a chair out from the of furniture things slipped and fell away behind it as she did so with a rattle and snap of dry breaking sit down she said philip obeyed her mechanically he hardly knew what had taken place during the last five minutes the pain the sense of and the penetrating physical misery had swallowed up all distinct consciousness only when his wife turned and left him without another word without a sign oi tenderness did he realize the hideous thing that had happened he called aloud her putting out his hands in the blind darkness but there was no voice no answer only the of the lock as the handle of the door turned on the outside and it slipped back into the catch and the quick beat of footsteps hastening away across the floor without the fulfilment of prophecy chapter iv man and wife is cruel to some people and at the risk of to deal in i submit that circumstance was to under other conditions society might lave by her charm her brilliant and inexhaustible gaiety nd never have dreamed of the lamentable wants in her moral and constitution just those demands happened to be made her that she was unable to meet let circumstance take the in part at least and let us spare the woman as much as re may her one impulse was to get away when the library door fairly closed behind her she paused only for a moment and hen turned and ran as a scared child runs headlong not daring stay or look behind it across the room down a long dim and into the inner hall whence the main staircase the upper part of the house here stopped she was half with the haste of her own wild pace half with strong nervous reaction following the coolness and she had shown during those terrible minutes in the library n her whole life she had never experienced anything like this before she was wholly possessed with a frantic rage and terror across from the supper room on the other side of the passing among the strolling couples who had wandered out rom the ball room with his erect bearing came a tray of glasses in his hand waited till he reached the foot of the e and then him with a sharp imperative gesture colonel is ill she panted out in short broken ill in the library go to him find mr on t stand there staring at me go to him i say looked at her in amazement her face was her eyes wide open she pressed her hands hard against heaving bosom are you she cried passionately he is ill i tell ou alone there don t you understand go to him set down his tray regardless of appearances he centre table in the inner hall his face had a strange on it he spoke almost you are coming with me ma am colonel s wife no no why should i come i can t come go yourself you waste time he is alone in the dark there i tell you turned away he had never been over and above fond of his mistress left alone the girl flung herself down on the lowest step of the wide staircase she did not cry but she rocked her body backwards and forwards and clenched her hands in a perfect of passion we all have known i suppose the blank hopeless fury of childhood kindled perhaps by some very trivial disappointment or when the raging little soul itself against the hard walls of fact and falls back bruised bleeding trembling only to struggle up and dash itself against them again and again this was what poor did now her feeling was purely selfish she had not the smallest sense of obligation to her husband hardly of for his suffering only that dreadful furious feeling that her were all broken and that nobody was there to mend them that the world was spoilt to her after a while she grew the dancing had ceased for a time and people were out into the further hall and dining room s natural vanity came to her rescue she arranged her dress which had got disordered in her flight and struggle she pulled up her long gloves to hide the ugly little marks that philip s clutching fingers had left on her white arms those marks were very terrible to her she dragged at her gloves and almost tore them in the effort to hide them completely from her sight she began to wonder whether she looked very strange whether people would discover that something had happened to her and ask her questions she felt very small and deserted too sitting out on the big quiet staircase alone with nobody to care of her she began to get a trifle shy troubled with shyness was indeed a novelty she could not make up her mind to start off by herself across the outer hall there where there were such a lot of people it would look so odd so awkward she shifted her position a little sat on the comer of the step and leaning her back against the wall tried to appear quite as though she was merely waiting for an absent partner all these arrangements and the new sensations which dictated them quite absorbed the girl s attention a shrill voice suddenly interrupted both her thoughts and b why mrs what are you doing are you sitting out well if i t out i should get some gentleman to sit out w wh me i shouldn t think you would have much ip the fulfilment of prophecy getting some gentleman to sit out with you here is my cousin mr well if he was not wandering around with me just now i believe he would be perfectly	32
very slender like some delicate flower and by rough rain and wind as she stood there in her ball dress for a minute or so she waited silently then growing fear got the better of her philip are you here philip she cried softly and hurriedly came forward out of the dusky corner of the large room he stopped at the other end of the table by the foot of the bed and stood looking t his wife he still wore his evening clothes his face was old and haggard and showed almost as livid and ghastly as the glimmering window behind him in the wavering light of s candle as he watched her his lips were drawn and stiff he had a difficulty in speaking you are very late in coming he said at last i stayed to the end she answered and then kept me a long while the comers of s round mouth went down the rare tears came into her eyes and ran over her pale cheeks has said something wicked to me she went on she made me ashamed the girl looked up at her husband with the trust in her pretty piteous face i was never ashamed before she sobbed never never in all my life the hours of waiting had been heart breaking to colonel desertion were incomprehensible colonel en s wife to his faithful spirit had deserted him she had been cruel he could not the truth as it was to him to admit it then this thing had not been done in a comer and the doctor in any case and his possibly half the neighbourhood by this time knew that he had come near dying in one room while his wife was dancing in the next his pride was cut to the quick pain we bear silently by ourselves is almost ease compared with the pain we experience when others look on with surprise and comment and pity had done him a terrible injury now as he stood watching her he asked himself sternly should it be peace or war and answered that for war there was surely cause enough she said to me something coarse and wicked at first i did not understand her but she explained she left me in no doubt all the while looked up with that same straightforward demand for sympathy what do i care for one man more than another i only wanted to dance as to that stupid boy oh i can t talk about it i it is shameful shameful the girl put her hands over her eyes and sank down in a sad indistinct heap on the floor you didn t mean that philip when you asked me to promise you you could not be so as to think anything bad like that of me i only wanted to dance i would have danced all night with you if if her voice was lost in the storm of her weeping flesh and blood could not stand it the colonel came across the little space that divided them and raised up the slight bowed figure yes it must be peace after all before god he said i have never doubted you in this matter you have been thoughtless he paused a moment to tell her what she had been was to in a very ugly statement philip loved her too well after all he could not bring himself to utter it i have never doubted that in thought and word and deed you are as pure as the day the girl flung her arms round his neck and pressed her face against his shoulder sobbing comfort me philip comfort me i am so miserable and nobody is kind but you the same hatred of discomfort and trouble which had caused to leave her husband now brought her back to him it was all selfish alas and yet the colonel could not resist it sadly and with a knowledge that there must be a for ever on the fulfilment of prophecy that which had been most to him but still honestly and tenderly he forgave her how indeed could he do otherwise as she clung to him in that heart breaking passion of tears in part by physical exhaustion after her long night of dancing in part by the shock and terror of his illness and in part perhaps by blind towards fuller life of that to quote dr quickened into movement by the hitherto unknown sense of shame how i say could he do otherwise he felt that this was a crisis in s history far be it from him the man who loved her to break the bruised reed or the smoking he did not even try to improve the occasion by stating his pardon in so many words she was excited in want of rest with gentle clumsy fingers philip helped the pretty quivering creature off with her tumbled finery helped her to bed laid the bed clothes softly up over her and then worn and broken by pain and illness as he was sat down by the bedside in the chill grey dawning and held her small cold hands in his soothing and her as a woman might till the bitter sobs grew less frequent and and died down in a little pensive now and then philip you are very good i love you she whispered the colonel bent over and kissed her that kiss the treaty of peace thank you my darling he said for those sweet words presently she spoke again still holding his hand and moving her fingers over the palm of it we will not stay here we will go home to morrow and forget all these dreadful things and be happy we used to be so happy at first in the summer time to poor colonel his wife s speech was infinitely pathetic alas	32
the summer time of their love and of his life too was gone past recall he wondered whether he had not been guilty of a fatal weakness and error if he had stuck to his profession if he had not so humoured if he had taken her out into the rough and tumble of life and made her submit more thoroughly to the ordinary conditions of lived for himself and for his duty treating her as an merely a very exquisite one it is true but an still might he not have saved both her and himself in his tenderness for her he had left her utterly and now now perhaps it was all too late wrung by a sudden perception of his own great folly philip groaned aloud i colonel s reared herself up on her elbow it won t happen again philip she cried the colonel turned to her gently the tears came into his eyes he was to blame he had been weak and easy with her and so done her a wrong the thought made him speak very tenderly to her what won t happen again my pretty one he asked why why you know she said her eyes wide with alarm it was terrible i could not bear it you are better philip he looked at her for a moment in silence his head sank or his breast have you no mercy he cried will you never understand the girl dropped back against the pillows and began to sob again bitterly oh don t me i was getting happier please don t n e she moaned there was a silence he had made his choice long ago he could blame no one he was the author of his own fate rallied all the that was in him he determined to accept the inevitable and play his part like a man he turned to his wife and spoke i cannot tell we must take what comes he said if it happens again god helping me you shall not see it happen will that satisfy you put out her hand and his cheek you are very good philip she said again will you stay there by me then i think perhaps i should fall asleep chapter v s ass speaks it would be very pleasant about this period to throw away the and shut up the moral room with all its ugly sights all its humiliating revelations of the weakness disease and of fallen humanity all its sad lessons learnt from the examination of things once lovely but which have gone wrong and are lovely no longer useful only as and examples of and all moral and mental pleasant to forget that excess of one quality defect of another to forget that your generous man will almost certainly prove unjust your just man harsh and the fulfilment of prophecy that sweetness of temper goes hand in hand with want of heart and the desire to please with paltry vanity that true love will be with weakness and jealousy common sense by lack of zeal and enthusiasm prone to into and hard indifference to the claims of it would be so pleasant to turn our backs on all this distressing knowledge knowledge which makes simple and direct action almost impossible which every emotion every conclusion teaches one to see a in the fairest face and to detect seeds of folly and in the noblest character pleasant to turn our backs on all this to lock up the with its melancholy secrets and go away to fresh open places where the wind rushes up from the sea and the laugh overhead in the sunshine while the bees murmur as they into the purple bells and the play in and out among the grey roots of the and the fat white flowers of the the cliff edge nod gently and as one who is on excellent terms with both parties first down to the wrinkled sea below and then up to the clear sky above why should we bother ourselves with all this dreary learning when the world out of doors calls to us with sweet sights and wholesome voices and an endless spectacle of and beauty it would be more profitable surely to learn of liberty from the wind and the white winged sea of happy labour from the homeward bound bee flying low from the weight of his honey bags and of happy leisure from the soft brown together among the and and unfortunately however this is only one side of the picture if it were not so one that only bom and bom lovers of the would ever study the wa of men at all all pure high minded persons would the society of their kind and seek salvation in solitude in of the earth in forests and deserts and mountains but in point of fact the other side of the picture is evident enough too great black sit in the of their little lined with silver threads there among the flowers and lay cruel hungry hands on the bee honey bags and all just as he in sober business like fashion is setting off to his hive the red fox with his shrewd merry face comes out of the oak wood across the valley yonder in the and the tender shrieking rabbit in his neat white teeth just as it is down into its even the themselves are foul greedy and have by no means a delicate consideration for the of individual or out colonel s wipe of doors on the cliff and in the pain injustice tragedy are too bears have not yet ceased to be and developed straw eating tendencies and the child will still be safer away from the immediate vicinity of the den for those unfortunate persons then who are cursed with a necessity to look below the	32
surface and haunted with an desire to see things as they really are the moral room is hardly a more disturbing place than the or the and so reader after this fruitless attempt to escape from our own shadows we may as well pick up the and go back humbly to science civilization and human again the example of human immediately under tion is mrs that worthy lady some few days after the ball had reason to believe her daughter had received a long letter from dr to say that this interested her is to put the matter very mildly she was on the of expectation had been silent and all day she had appeared to avoid being alone with her mother mrs waited watched hinted alluded in conversation to subjects which might offer a good excuse for revelations if was that way inclined but was not she devoted the morning to s lessons and the afternoon to her district on the after tea she disappeared for a considerable length of time when at last she came back into the bleak sitting room mrs s anxiety to know had reached a height at which concealment was no longer possible the good lady was consumed with a desire for information still with all her courage she hardly knew how to begin she sank back in her chair folded her hands above her large waist and watched her daughter with hard eager twinkling eyes as the latter with a great basket full of coarse flannel and sat down by the centre table and began not veiy together some under garments destined for the unhappy in the back streets and by the canal fitted in the sleeve of an shirt several times wrong way up having a singular for the of double she looked troubled and tired her forehead was full of lines as she held the incomprehensible up close against the lamp turning it this way and that and her eyes over it in hesitating perplexity for some time mrs sat observing her till at last getting the better of prudence she spoke out boldly th fulfilment of prophecy she said you look deplorable got something on your mind the suddenness of the address made mrs start and effectually drove the difficult question of placing back into the obscurity from which it had begun to show signs of emerging you have something on your mind continued the elder lady it is no good denying it you cannot deceive your mother i ask no questions i never demand confidence when it is not freely offered me though considering the way in which i have devoted myself to you and in which i have considered your interests it might not seem unreasonable to some people that i should be confided in but i trust i have learnt to labour for others without hope of reward to cast my bread upon the waters ah well mrs closed her eyes and sighed profoundly took a couple of pins from between her lips and stuck them into the shirt sleeve at random her fingers in her general confusion i meant to speak to you mother she answered but i wanted time to think and i couldn t speak before isn t here now mrs laid down her work and her elbow on the table her eyes with her hand her heart beat very quickly she was afraid of her mother dr began telling me something the other evening she said we were interrupted i did not see him again and i hardly understood what he was alluding to i had a letter from him to day well well go on cried mrs as paused it was a very kind letter he he asked me to marry him mrs up out of her chair and herself upon her daughter the work basket in her haste scattering wax and and sending cotton spin over the floor oh my child my child i she cried thank god my prayers are answered i shall see you rich well cared for successful after all dear good excellent man never mind if he is not of very good family at your age a marriage of reason is what we must look to comfort my dear wealth absolute wealth and a very good position s future secured you have written you have answered him mrs released herself from her mother s embrace she had grown very pale and trembled as she replied o colonel yes i wrote this morning i posted the letter myself thank god murmured mrs devoutly again faith faith is a great power believe and labour as i have spare no pains keep the end in view the reward is sure that s a very nice house indeed in square plenty of room for us all with a little management did he make any statement about we must go carefully into all that you know mrs tells me his income is large really large ah well how short sighted we are that business with colonel was a disappointment to me last spring i don t deny but providence watches over the widow and the orphan here you might have been at this moment if all one hears is true with him on your hands dying instead of which my dear a prospect an excellent respectable dignified prospect is before you as i say never mind about family we can t have everything you ll bring your husband family you know it is better those things should be divided i think it stop stop mother cried hoarsely she stood up you have misunderstood me hey what s this exclaimed the elder lady with a rapid change of manner don t stand there looking like a mad woman if you re going into say so and i ll get a of water i m ashamed of you for goodness sake be sensible nevertheless there	32
was something in her daughter s appearance which distinctly alarmed mrs she seized her by the arm and shook it with a sudden violence there there speak can t you speak and don t be a fool oh mother forgive me pray don t be angry with me perhaps it is selfish but i can t marry him mrs looked a very unpleasant old woman as she answered she forward and peered into s pale agitated face as though she would have liked actually to torture the truth out of her don t dare to tell me you have refused him bowed her head in assent there was a silence of some few minutes and then mrs spoke in a terrible voice you are a base ungrateful woman you are a bad mother and a bad daughter i have borne with your stupidity and awkwardness your obstinacy all these years i have spent my money and time and affection upon you and this is the return the fulfilment of prophecy i get do you want to kill me do you want to ruin us look here you have got to give way to change your mind you say you have well i am going to write too i am going to explain and i am going to say that you were taken by surprise that your reply was ill considered that you regret it i ll i ll do anything say anything but let that letter stand do you hear mrs had often had cause to lament her daughter s lamentable want of spirit at this juncture her daughter s spirit fairly confounded her you may spare both yourself and me that humiliation mother said quietly i have given dr a reason for my refusal which renders any renewal of his offer impossible what reason that i cannot tell you she was still trembling but no longer with fear a strange excitement had taken possession of mrs she held herself almost proudly cried mrs in a sort of amazement do you intend to defy me yes i am afraid i do intend to defy you in a way she answered there are claims on me mother which stand even before yours and s i must keep my own self respect i will not sell myself for any one s money i am sorry that should miss the chance of advantages that he might have had and that you should be deprived of ease and comfort which you would have enjoyed but i can t help it i cannot sell my life was spoilt years ago by breaking off a marriage in obedience to your wishes mother it shall not be spoilt a second time by making one to satisfy them we are poor we must go on being so we are obscure well i am perfectly willing to be obscure still will have to make his own way in the world he must do it i some rights as well as other people this right at all events to refuse absolutely to myself for the good of my family all my life i have loved one man cried while her thin cheeks and her eyes were bright with sudden enthusiasm i am nothing to him nothing in the world if he sees me it is with perhaps even with dislike it does not matter god forbid he should ever think of me in any other way i am not jealous of his wife i only want him to be happy happy his own way with her not with me but i can t marry i never marry i have had enough of that give up all idea colonel s wife of it you have called me obstinate on this point i am obstinate you had better leave me alone still brave still defiant knelt down on the floor and began gathering the scattered contents of the together almost for the first time she had let herself go and for the moment her revolt filled her with a really magnificent sense of freedom of indifference of superiority to circumstance or criticism she could have set any number of and set them with at that moment meanwhile mrs had back into her chair again in an extraordinary state of s sensations when reproached by the ass must have been mild compared with those experienced by our friend mrs when her daughter turned upon her in this very unexpected manner she was quite genuine tears began to make their way down over her and powdered cheeks her and deserted her she was a miserable sight as she sat there shaking her poor worldly old head with its cap all and harsh coloured hair puffed out with such youthful over the ears her hard grasping face up and wrinkled and the red in her carefully organized complexion coming out in all the wrong places oh i am a wretched deserted unhappy old woman she muttered it s a cruel w everybody turns against you at last you do your best for your children and then they throw it in your teeth and tell you you ve spoilt their happiness for them thirty forty fifty years you toil and and fight for them and give them all the chances that you can get hold of and push them on and try to make a position and keep up appearances and then they reproach you it s a hard hard world there s no help or mercy in it and i m a wretched unsuccessful deserted old woman rose from her knees came over and stood by her chair mother she said gently i know you have had a bitter disappointment but there is something better worth living for and thinking about than mere wealth and position and getting on you know it is not my place to remind you of this you must forgive me but i	32
should be so glad to comfort you and i cant promise you those things paused trying in her dumb groping way to find adequate expression for the that was in her can t we forget the world s opinion it has brought us little beyond worry and and think of better and more the fulfilment of prophecy lasting things of religion i don t mean merely going to church and using certain recognized phrases but religion of the heart a real giving up of our will to god s a real submission to his ordering a real faith and trust and hope not for reward here in the way of money or advantages but of reward of a purer kind hereafter and that not on account of our own merits but of his great mercy who gives us far more than we deserve i am preaching to myself mother just as much as to you i am very and dull it is so difficult to keep on every day striving with one s own weak sinful nature work with me mother help and strengthen me i stand greatly in need of both an impatient smile broke through mrs s still falling tears i believe you are sincere you are a good woman she said but i never met a good woman yet who didn t at times as you are now i have my still i am thankful to say and there are some things i see very much more clearly than you do do you suppose if one has lived for this world till one is seventy one can turn round all of a sudden at seventy one and live for the other and find great consolation in doing it changes are not so easily made as that it is my dear by now and then after all who has any right to blame me i have only wanted what hundreds of people are born to and take just as a matter of course as they do the air or daylight without any worrying or i couldn t afford to be or religious before and it s rather late to begin now you say the lord is exceeding merciful well then perhaps he will make for a woman with a small and a large family of daughters i don t know ring will you my dear and tell to put a couple of of brandy in my to night how far the of this declaration of independence by brought her permanent relief i cannot say that it increased her mother s respect for her and caused the latter to leave her alone in the future in questions matrimonial is more than probable but i am inclined to imagine that a lady of mrs s temperament if she from one form of tyranny would be disposed to balance in one direction by excess in another to her self devotion and the poor return made to her by her ungrateful children she did very frequently refer both in public and private perhaps her words did not carry any deep conviction to the majority in any case we will hope so pr consoled himself with his profession and egg shell colonel en s wife china sometimes even in that snug room of his after when his reading lamp was lighted and the fire pleasantly on the hearth and some interesting new scientific lay q en before him the doctor caught himself as to in the palace of truth he might not congratulate on having had an exceedingly lucky escape chapter vi after all a regret and mrs pierce were coming up the carriage drive towards the little red villa they had been into sauntered along slowly she was a little fatigued in theory she greatly admired as a and institution but in practice the noise crowding smell of italian gin and general tendency toward endured in these gave her a headache and sorely tried her slightly fastidious taste it was a good step from the iron gates to the villa too and though there was a in the air the february sunshine was hot and dazzling the row of crooked fir trees threw blue sharp edged shadows along the the waste spaces of rough grass on either side were with the flowers of the of the white scarlet blue blush pink and violet an almost endless variety of delicate shades of colour in her hands along with her carried a big bunch of roman and bought at a picturesque flower stall in the angle of a great stately palace in the the spring had come not the pale pensive spring of our northern climate but the keen brilliant daring spring of the south sauntered on silently up the road beside her to tell the truth he was not thinking very much about his companion just then he was engaged with his own reflections and entertained himself by humming a few bars from the opening scene of as he moved lightly yet lazily along at the turn of the road sat down on a sloping of rock she wanted to rest a minute and it was pleasant here after the noise and dust of the across the road in front of her a great fig tree whose twisted roots clung round the broken r ck in among which it grew in many folds and spread a pale grey of smooth gleaming branches with the already formed fruit against the distant masses of deep wood and steep purple hill tiie fulfilment of prophecy o crossed the road leaned his elbows on the natural wall of rock just below the big fig tree and gazed away over the brown and the town showing sharp and clear in the sunlight to the far off coast line and the glittering in the west his back was towards her felt a bit neglected somehow it	32
made her think nearly a month had passed since their engagement it had been a pleasant month on the whole was affectionate attentive and even when he laughed at her which he did pretty frequently there was an tenderness in his manner which made it impossible for her to resent his very warmly s conduct had been entirely and yet she was not quite satisfied this engagement had not brought her all that she had expected of it there was a faint of disappointment in her mind after all mrs pierce was one of those ardent and generous persons who are liable to make an exaggerated estimate of the possibilities of human bliss and are slow to learn that nothing in the world will bring them all that they ask for that to the end the vision and the hope are fairer than the ever can be she did not seem to advance in her relation to or to get any nearer to him there was nothing to quarrel with in his manner or bearing towards her yet she was conscious of a wall of separation between them whether the defect of sympathy lay in herself or in her lover she could not tell perhaps marriage would set it all right but marriage seemed still to hang in the so to speak had made no further definite proposals he was very indolent he was willing enough always to let things be if the said things were fairly comfortable sat staring at the pale branches of the fig tree and the purple depth beyond and thinking of all this thinking too of the strangely different way of life she had proposed to herself of her friend the priest and the splendid ideal he had set before her suddenly the sweet pathetic tones of s tenor sounded in her ears he was singing softly to himself that lament for lost youth and love and beauty with which the drama of s fate and passion to it carried too much meaning she rose hastily crossed the road and touched the young man on the shoulder ah cousin he exclaimed turning to her with rather a forced smile and air of self recollection i find my voice in the spring you see as the small birds do or rather as the small birds would do if they had not all been killed or long ago x o colonel s by bird the performance was altogether pretty was it you did well to stop me something in s speech perhaps it was that word cousin painfully on his she took her hand off shoulder and drew a step away had turned round he his back against the wall of rock and looked quietly at her his eyes had still at moments that odd likeness to s which had formerly so disturbed looked back at him there was a fine sincerity in her steady gaze the last few weeks since you came back have been very happy ones to me she said in a low voice i have had a great deal of pleasure in them such as i had never expected to have again and i suppose that has made me selfish i have let one day slip away after another and have neglected to think of anybody but myself and you we have done nothing practical yet about philip no j quite true replied mr we have done nothing practical yet about colonel it is odd you should mention him just now because i happened to be thinking about him i had arrived at the conclusion to let well or ill whichever it alone and trouble myself no more about colonel or his wife either the sun struck curiously hot on mrs pierce s head she tried to put up her but the lace round the edge of it caught in the points of the ribs and it was some little time before she could it quite to her liking i am afraid i must ask you to trouble yourself a good deal about colonel and his wife all the same she said i am more anxious about them than ever i had just arrived at a conclusion too namely that i shall not be able to rest till you have seen for your and my sake just as much as for theirs it seems to me necessary shrugged his shoulders my dear creature he said why will you always ask highly embarrassing things of me please remember i am not in the least given to knight i don t feel called upon to wounded heroes or rescued distressed it is not the least in my line i should make a horrible over it i am not a professional fine fellow of the or twelfth century you know but an amateur of the latter end of the nineteenth with a deep respect for my neighbour s small nd a mortal dread of putting myself in a ridiculous position the fulfilment ok prophecy ah she cried a trifle that is all beside the point there is no knight in the matter it is a question of humanity of good feeling you have a power which may be employed for the benefit of a man whom you respect and a woman who who paused it went against her pride to state her deepest thought in words a woman she added gently after a moment whom you have loved think of them and not of whether you may be putting yourself to some small inconvenience or not pray pray do as i ask you to it has been self indulgent in me not to urge this on i know it is right i know it is for the best mr was uncomfortable as he looked down at the shining gravel he did not see how he could himself from his present difficulty without rather cruelly to the woman he	32
had asked to be his wife the woman whom he admired and liked most cordially whose society he found and agreeable in a very high degree yet he felt it incumbent upon him to speak out and let her know the danger in which he stood really he said at times you develop the most remarkable power of getting one into a corner and making one stand and deliver listen and i will to you love rightly considered is a state of mind being in that state of mind i apprehend it is eminently to remain in close vicinity to the person who produced it lest not having a legitimate object on which to its energies the state of mind should begin them upon some one i have had more than enough of my neighbour s wife heaven knows and am very fully convinced of the of that species of amusement but i am not absolutely all the same i do not relish the prospect of undertaking this mission you know forgive my putting it all so plainly before you marry me at once and then we will go to england together if you like as he ceased speaking the young man looked up mrs pierce s eyes were full of a warm light her cheeks flushed with a dark rich bloom her mouth was a little open as if in eager readiness to speak she was young vivid beautiful ah you are delicious he cried half laughing you women are turned away and walked on hurriedly up the road she was in a tempest of feeling it was impossible to answer him just then o colonel s wife lingered a moment or two he threw back his head flung up his arms and then let them drop at his sides again he hardly knew perhaps exactly what he meant by the action beyond a sense that it was a general good bye to a good many things he had cared for then he walked rapidly up the ho glaring road after his cousin he said when he overtook her i have and offended you please forgive me did not turn her head do you really care the least about my forgiveness she asked immensely he answered it is everything to me then go to england she stopped and looked at him somewhat proudly i want no half hearted affection i can give you my whole heart my whole life and i am not prepared to receive a in return for them go and see go and do what you can for colonel and then come back to me if you want to remember you are still perfectly free i have told nobody of our engagement i from doing so on purpose if you do not care to come back you can stay away with you are not in any way do you take me for a scoundrel or an idiot he cried of course i shall come back again but the conditions are rather hard and i have a feeling against this journey it will bring bad luck to somebody if the bad luck is there it will come whether you go or not you do not speak with your usual good sense she answered she moved on up the ascent will you go she asked they had just reached the ending of the road and came on to the open space of the terrace in front of the villa the monkey who had been himself on the wall seeing them approaching scrambled down and ran across on all to meet his master with strange cries of pleasure and welcome picked the ugly little creature up and it as he spoke yes i will go by the mail train to night i shall just have time to pack and eat my dinner ah to night that is very soon exclaimed mrs pierce somewhat aghast you have forced it on me cousin i would rather get it over and done with but i warn you it will turn out badly he looked down at the monkey and gently patted its wrinkled forehead the fulfilment of prophecy the devil he said the very devil there was a silence stood with her head raised looking away over the expanse of purple sea could see the pure outline of her it struck him that she looked very handsome very intense very sad you will be rather lonely here i am afraid he remarked abruptly i shall not remain here in any case she replied i have given my landlord a month s notice the little red villa has become a hateful place to me it is full of ghosts every room is haunted by memories every chair and table reminds me of scenes in which my weakness mistakes ill founded hopes endless play a part the curtains rustle with laughter at my follies faces look out of the over my shoulder and me with the remembrance of broken and betrayed if we meet again we will meet somewhere else not here she spoke with a ring of feeling which was very penetrating mr the monkey poor little red villa it is then he said well it has seen its share of the human comedy in the last two years if it never saw it before which all things considered is improbable i could imagine the house would take a long sleep when your it willingly take a rest and try to recover its tone before it suffers violence from another of us poor of circumstance meanwhile i own i shall be just as well satisfied to think of you in rather more lively surroundings the influences here no doubt have become peculiar you will be safer away from them but don t start any new idea please till you have seen me again don t let any high flown sentimental after a matrimonial alliance with the church	32
for instance take possession of you that i most definitely and object to mrs pierce shook her head with a sigh you needn t be afraid that dream is past and over alas like so many more come in you have not too much time and we will eat our dinner in peace before we part it is the last meal we shall eat together here perhaps the last we shall ever eat together at all pushed the monkey up on to his shoulder it sat there with its knees up to its nose and with one long brown hand clutching tightly at the collar of his coat the young man came close to his cousin and put his arm round her waist come come my dear he said smiling don t let us io colonel s wife make such a tremendous tragedy of it you play the part of a haughty and princess in ancient legend and set your lover dangerous tasks to perform before you will listen to him here the lover is going he you perhaps against his better judgment but then that should only give an extra of sweetness to his obedience you have your way what more in the name of reason do you want something i shall never get i fancy she answered and her lips quivered a little as she spoke chapter vn in which the domestic fowl plays a part has it ever happened to you reader in some idle half hour of a summer s morning to stand and watch the manners and customs of a respectable middle aged hen with a brood of young chickens to observe the care the anxious consideration with which she treats her soft peeping family the energy with which she in nice dry places against the comer of a of or the rich borders of the heap or among the rank grass round the water bucket to find them or have you heard the agitated with which she calls any of too adventurous or wandering a spirit or answers the cries of one who standing on with and neck in shrill and plaintive tones its inability to find its way back to the protecting of the maternal wing does not this excellent fowl seem to you a very of all the characteristic maternal virtues but since the sun is warm and the open doorway of the clean wood shed is a pleasantly shady place to stand in just watch the behaviour of this bird a little longer see now if a strange chicken small soft and peeping as any one of her own brood comes towards her how her wings and her tail into a great fan while every separate feather stands out fierce and how her hard curved is darted down at the unhappy shrieking fluttering intruder and how unless the human spectator comes to the rescue the poor little wretch is shaken till the tiny life is nearly or quite frightened out of its quivering body is this a true of maternal character too it would be to pronounce on such a i leave it to jou reader the fulfilment of prophecy s husband had forgiven her and yet because our actions have a prolonged force in them like those of the air which continue a great while after the voice which produced them is again silent our young lady found the little world in which she moved rather a different place to her ever after that ill night at the story both of the serious nature of colonel s illness and of his wife s apparent indifference to his condition out of course as such stories will out too clothed in the darkest of colours and with a small army of hints and suggestions following in its train a good many persons did not scruple to register their conviction that mrs was a little and while they expressed pity for her husband added that they themselves in like case would have behaved very differently a man should know when to put down his foot not to know when to do so is to write yourself down either an ass or a had told mrs pierce long ago that would never conduct herself in a way of the censure of society but then he had neither taken into account the possibilities of adverse circumstances or the almost unlimited power of possessed by the average human being selfishness and by no means their owner from making a good show in the world it was by bringing against her a charge of which she was wholly that local society in its small way judged pretty and condemned her i do not wish to excuse her or too easily her evil doings but i must maintain nevertheless that she was convicted on entirely wrong grounds some three weeks after the ball she received one morning an urgent note from mrs begging her if it lay in her power to pay the writer a visit early that same afternoon the request surprised the girl late events had made the name somewhat unwelcome to her but the day was bright and it was a little dull at home fancied there had been a slight falling off in the number and cordiality of her visitors just lately then too she really liked mrs whose large gentle presence gave her an agreeable sense of repose and security she decided to go though she also decided not to mention the matter to her husband philip had grown a trifle and particular she thought were disagreeable and our young lady objected to that which is disagreeable had learnt to drive and it was with a certain of the pulse and of the spirits that she trotted colonel s wife the handsome pair of carriage horses along the high road swept them the curve under the railway bridge scattering dogs and children and	32
lounging about till their afternoon s work should begin to right and left and then sent them on up the wide main street of the pretty little town light natures like our heroine s meet with manifold by the way they can live on the surface and the surface at all events can generally be kept fresh and smart and pleasant to the eye put the horses up at the prince s william she said standing for a moment on the clean pavement and giving herself sundry little and to get the set of her clothes just right and meet me at s library at half past four ask for the afternoon letters please and see if there is anything for colonel at the station mrs received her guest very kindly she held s hand in her soft steady grasp a little longer even than courtesy positively demanded and looked at her earnestly with sweet questioning near sighted grey eyes it is kind of you to come to me at such short notice she said smiled it is fine i had nothing to do i was delighted she answered mrs stood holding her s hand and looking into her brilliant face with a sense of strangely conflicting feelings she had an accusation to bring and that a painful one against this young creature she did not approve of and yet the girl s youthful beauty filled her with a yearning wondering pity i am afraid you have been in some anxiety about colonel she said i hope that your coming here this afternoon shows he is better oh he is very much as usual answered still smiling he has an innocent about his farm you know the farm was to make our fortune but he has been rather indolent both about the farm and the fortune perhaps recently he has preferred the smoking room or my society to day however the farming appears to be in the again he told me he was going out to look at the sheep i like the sheep too they are very worthy well meaning animals but there is a certain about them it is possible to see enough of them i was very happy to come and see you instead a slight change came over the expression of mrs s fair elderly face decidedly l v s a of her own simple good hearted chickens it be ox ed o a n v it the fulfilment of prophecy i am glad you can give such a account of your husband she said we feared from which have reached us that he had been seriously ill on the night of the ball at the subject was hardly an agreeable one to but her blood was still with the healthy excitement of her rapid drive like some wild thing she was and glad with the breath of the coming spring she answered lightly enough ah every one is ill at times i suppose but it passes again and when it is passed is it not best to forget mrs sighed you are very young mrs she said later it is not possible to forget so easily but come sit down here i have something i want to tell you i hope it is something nice observed as she across the room after her hostess and seated herself by her had always appreciated mrs who struck her as a well bred comfortable soothing sort of person but it is extraordinary what a fund of moral courage some of these large soft mild looking mothers are endowed with these clinging dependent women who lose their heads in a crowd are utterly by the noise and rush of a railway station faint at the sight of a wound and shrink away in helpless disgust and terror before rough looks and coarse expressions will still on occasion when their affections are involved manifest a daring disregard of in speech and action that would be a sheer impossibility to the man mrs had resolved to lay certain as she believed truths before mrs and the gentleness and tenderness of her nature seemed to into almost cruel courage she ignored the girl s little remark and began speaking in her slow quiet way as though she was stating the most ordinary of it is one of the advantages of good breeding that it gives to the possessor of it an self confidence whose mild makes it only the more impressive i have been troubled and disturbed lately she said matter of very deep and vital importance to me for the past week i have been alone having persuaded my son to go away and stay at with his sisters he was unwilling to leave here but he yielded to my very clearly expressed wishes during that time i have thought a great deal of ow i resolved to ask you to come at d se x x colonel s wife sat with her head a little on one side carefully im and taking off her gloves my hands are just a little cramped with driving she remarked by the way mrs looked at her again earnestly with her grey eyes but appeared absorbed in the removal of her gloves i am afraid there is much gossip in mrs went on it is always so i suppose in a watering place every little event is instantly remarked and commented on certain things have been discussed lately which i think you ought to know of mrs ah she answered a trifle impatiently that sort of information pardon my saying it is not in the least interesting to me if it was merely outside gossip i should not trouble you with it be sure mrs continued but it is something which nearly concerns us both your happiness and mine and the happiness of those who are or should be very dear to us my looked	32
up suddenly your son your son she cried what then is your son to me that is just what i want to know said the other quietly my boy is changed he is moody and he no longer has any confidence in me some one has come between us and has him from me i could wish no woman a worse punishment than to feel the agony of such a separation he is too honourable to tell me who has worked this change in him i do not go out much you know mrs but on all hands the same name is hinted at what must i think i would rather my son was dead than that he should bring disgrace on himself and on his father s name or that through him shame and should come to another household i cannot believe that would have laid himself open to charges of this kind unless very distinct encouragement had been offered him ah the poor do you not pity it amid all this setting up of feathers this and i do from my heart though the is a wilful wandering naughty little thing sat quite still her eyes glittering with a hard light in them her lips drawn back showing her white even teeth what are you talking about she demanded in a dear voice mrs if you have come between me my son if you have played with him i you pause think put the fulfilment of prophecy an end once and for all to this wretched disgraceful the first steps seem such a slight matter so unimportant so lightly taken but think where they may lead to think of but she stopped with a gasp s white hand flashed out in a movement of sudden fury and struck her full the mouth it is all a wicked lie cried the girl springing up and standing fierce as a little in front of her a wicked lie yes i will say it i don t care what i say why do you all hunt and and accuse me what bad minds you must have to think these things of me ah why did i ever to this wretched country where everybody is as cruel as they are stupid tell your son he has bored me within an inch of my life fifty times over he can dance he can fetch and carry as as another j he is not awkward see i give him his due this precious young gentleman but mon he is dull dull dull dull as your grey sky your interminable fields dull as your heavy brains dull as your insolent thoughts of me i cannot stay do not speak i will not hear you still animated by the violence of her anger swept out of the room down the staircase and out into the street a bitter fierce defiance had taken possession of her very different to her hour of terror at or to the sense of shame that had followed on s scolding of her and made her take refuge in her husband s faithful love which strong noble natures as heavy hammer strokes true metal to use and only and ruins slight selfish pleasure beings like poor they have no power of rising through and injury into a fuller and richer spiritual life no power of and under the influence of searching mental experience they lose their own peculiar charm their careless the yet inspiring loveliness we so in them and present us with no higher grace or virtue in place of it it is poor work beating with a cart rope outwardly calm but with a growing of purpose her pretty head held high and her hands clasped tightly together walked through the streets in the thin february sunshine but her heart was black with hatred with a sense of unjust with a feeling that she was at war with every man and woman she met she turned into the hotel tell my servant to bring round my carriage immediately she said to a waiter standing in the hall i will go into t coffee room and wait i colonel wife the man hurried on before her to throw open the door of the said rather gloomy apartment with its substantial mahogany chairs and tables its heavy red carpets and curtains its array of time tables hotel lists and daily papers crossed the room and stood looking over the blind of the window into the street to catch the first sight of the carriage she wanted to get home as quickly as might be she had an announcement to make to her husband a gentleman the only other of the large room was sitting stretched out lazily in an by the fire his face and the upper part of his person were completely hidden by the newspaper he was was far too deeply absorbed by her own reflections to pay any attention to her companion and he on his part seemed at least equally indifferent to her presence the carriage did not come the girl grew impatient perhaps william had not come back from the various she had given him to do for her she turned intending to ring the bell and send some one to make inquiries just then the gentleman sitting by the fire his paper together and rose to his feet with an irritable little in italian paused half way across the room there was a moment of profound silence then she cried aloud oh she came across hastily to him her face suddenly with a lovely expression half smiles half tears she laid both hands on the young man s arm and put up her mouth in sweet impulsive fashion for a kiss had started violently on first seeing her he went very pale for a few seconds he hesitated then he took her hand in his and bending down kissed it	32
her now she came back to her husband s side and took his arm again let us walk up and down philip she said i must move about my feet are cold you know they pacing up and down the colonel was staggered by this surprising piece of information the charm of the spring day had suddenly departed he felt a terrible distrust of what might be coming has changed in some ways continued he said things i did not at all like he has taken to giving admirable v colonel s wife advice and it sounded a little ridiculous coming somehow i am not sure that it did not amount to being almost offensive philip glanced at his wife sharply but she was looking straight before her is going to do an extraordinary thing he is going to marry mamma she said the colonel gave a quick sigh of it seemed as though a weight had been lifted off him z weight which had pressed on him at moments ever since his first meeting with long ago he felt very thankful i am glad he remarked presently though all the same it appears to me tliat mr good fortune is very much in excess of his deserts held up her head stiffly her voice shook as she spoke i am not glad i know mamma is young still but i do not like it it is and unnatural everything will be now the little red villa is spoilt to me and i was very happy there sometimes colonel stifled the reply that rose instinctively to his lips stifled too the movement of jealousy which his wife s evident emotion provoked in him he could afford to be generous mr was going to marry mrs pierce the colonel was indeed truly glad but seemed to have an fit of restlessness upon her i must walk she said again after a minute or two she turned and passing along the farther side of the between it and the sunk fence took another path which leads up by a gentle slope ending in a flight of moss grown stone steps ta a straight walk beyond the trees and bounding the house grounds on the east and affording a pretty extensive view over the surrounding country the late conversation had given philip a good deal to think about he followed quickly and mechanically any of at the top of the steps however he was very forcibly reminded of certain unpleasant facts by a loss of breath and a sharp sensation in his throat as he stood panting and trying to get bis breath again he glanced anxiously at his wife but was she was not observing hun she had crossed the walk and back against the which divided it from the high lying pastures beyond ie s brick work and n n ed a the final reward finely toned background to her figure a web of semi parent cloud spread across the western sky through which the low sun shone with a faint radiance the pale light fell softly on the girl s rich dark dress and on her large hat leaving her face in shadow as she stood looking down she clasped her hands tightly together with a strained nervous action philip she said at last in a hard voice it has come to this we must leave here i have a change you have always said you would do your best to make me happy keep your word let us go away colonel s expression darkened with something besides bodily he heavily on his and answered with the and deliberation of one who finds speech difficult i thought you liked your home so i did at first but as used to say not the i saw to day he in moral worthy of a but as used to say in the old days before his very surprising one gets beyond everything in time i have got beyond this place and the society of it i have squeezed it dry she made a very expressive motion with her hands and there is nothing but the left the people are stupid but stupid she cried with an outburst of vehemence looking up at her husband there was a brightness in her eyes and her face was curiously set looked older she looked dangerous pride and disgust made it impossible to her to repeat the story of her interview with mrs but the memory of it inspired her with a strange intensity of manner at this moment the people here do not understand me she went on they are beginning not to like me i must have something fr sh well what do you want asked philip with the same of utterance from physical causes he could only trust himself to say a few words at a time it has not turned out a success here she replied the last few months have been wretched they have been a disappointment to me i want to go far away and forget it all practically that is not an easy thing to do said the colonel it costs a lot of money to go away at short notice and as to money we are in rather low water just now i m to say oh i have thought over all that you can realize realize he repeated yes make a clean sweep the stock on the v s v a good deal you said so yourself o c colonel s wife all our furniture it is valuable i only bought the most expensive things there are the horses i shall be sorry to part with them but it would be too much trouble to take them with us and we could get very good ones i suppose in paris or philip looked at the girl in utter bewilderment paris or he exclaimed my dear	32
child what on earth are you talking about why this this she cried excitedly i want to go away to some great city where life is full and tumultuous and stirring where the action is rapid where there is constant amusement where there is not time to consider and to think where there is plenty of sound in the air and of light and glitter in the streets don t you feel the of this miserable place i have tried england and england will not do for me let us make a clean sweep of everything and cut ourselves adrift you always say you love me philip then give me what i ask for let us go a strange uncertain smile that had very little of amusement in it came across the face he turned and looked into the pale misty sunset and he could not help it his eyes filled with tears he had settled down in this quiet home with such a gracious sense of content and well being the wide green pastoral country with its yearly round of simple natural occupations and interests had satisfied some of his strongest and most wholesome instincts the late granted satisfaction of his affections in love and marriage and his subsequent return to the scenes and associations of his youth had rounded life for philip and given him a second spring time such as seldom falls to the lot of a man who has set foot on the barren table land of middle age even during the last few months while the shadow of sickness and anxiety had covered him the farm and garden the woods and fields the of birds in the grey mornings the thousand changes of cloud and sunshine calm and storm had soothed and fortified and helped him very really to give up all this for a wilderness of brick and mortar for the bold careless splendour and equally bold and careless shame of a great city struck him as almost too bitter a sacrifice to go away and leave all that was so dear to him beloved with the intimate and vital affection which is bred in the very bone and blood to go away and die in a strange land s proposition was preposterous it would have been almost comic in its glaring if there had not appeared to be an alarming completeness in her conception of it philip was weak and tired he was not equal to arguing with his wife the final reward i didn t expect this you know he said slowly it has taken me by surprise and i am not very quick i m afraid at getting hold of a new idea our reasons for coming here were two she rejoined with a certain in her tone you wanted to be near and you wanted to hunt i most distinctly have no intention of going near again after s behaviour to me and it seems that you have quite given up hunting so there is no reason why we should remain ah those were our only two reasons for coming here were they said philip with the same hopeless kind of smile i had fancied there was more in it than merely that however no doubt you know best my dear i think we d better go in the mist is beginning to rise you may catch cold moved to the head of the steps as she passed him she gave her husband an odd look there are doctors in paris and than there are here she said in a low voice perhaps for your own sake philip you had better go be honest be honest cried the colonel with a movement of keen distress and anger for love i would do anything for you god knows but you can t buy me the girl made no answer she went on swiftly down the path r and it was not till she nearly reached the house that she turned and looked back at her husband he was a long way behind standing still right in the middle of the walk was seized with sudden dread she called to him at first he did not answer she waited a minute then her own fear made her go a few steps towards him she called again why do you stand there why don t you come in philip the colonel her away with a passionate gesture go indoors he said hoarsely go indoors never mind me go in i ll come on presently she paused for a moment listening watching him intently then she went on hurriedly round the comer of the house dr stayed at the house till late that night as he helped him on with his overcoat in the hall when at last he was leaving ventured on a remark this was a worse attack than the other sir he said has been desperately ill to night dr answered seriously passed his hand about the crown of the doctor s hat before presenting it to him will the colonel get round vi i ft i colonel s wife dr shook his head i greatly fear not if he could be spared all anxiety and agitation his life would be prolonged probably but the mischief is grave and it is of a nature which leaves no hope of actual recovery he has complained of pain in the throat to day that is a new symptom and a very alarming one i regret to say dr took his hat you have my instructions he added i shall come over again to morrow morning assented when the doctor had finally departed he went back quietly to the smoking room colonel sat in an easy chair by the fire he forward with his elbows resting on his knees in a his eyes were closed his face was drawn he looked fearfully exhausted as the	32
servant came in he opened his yes and raised himself with a perceptible effort i m better he said i believe i can get upstairs if i take my time about it and you help me it must be late and i don t want to keep mrs up stooped down and began gathering some newspapers together that had fallen on the floor mrs sent down to ask how you were about half an hour ago sir she sent word that she didn t wish to be disturbed again she gave orders that the north bedroom was to be got ready for you the newspapers as smoothed and folded them and laid them on the lower shelf of the what not against the wall he put the fire together with a few skilful touches occupying himself with employment till his master should give some further order at last he had performed all the small offices that presented themselves then he stood waiting in respectful silence philip looked up at his old servant and spoke his manner was calm but his eyes were those of a man utterly broken hearted and despairing you can go he said there s nothing more you can do for me i ll stay down here for the present discipline is stronger even than sympathy noise opened the door and went out into the dimly lighted then he could not contain himself any longer no one was within and he spoke his mind damn that woman i he said aloud it was the i day of the poor colonel s life when he first set eyes on the the final reward as for philip he sat quite still leaning his head on his hands some agonies are dumb they cannot themselves into articulate speech or even into articulate thoughts but the last act of the tragedy had come had given her husband his dismissal and god help him he knew it chapter ii the colonel is tempted to throw down the cards the smoking room at the house struck dr as a and cheerful apartment when he entered it next morning the large window looks out due south over the ground and garden and at this hour the sunshine in at it lighting up a quaint series of old coloured sporting prints that adorned the wall opposite the fireplace and a chalk drawing of hanging over the writing table the drawing in question was a very clever one in it the artist had succeeded in giving that subtle suggestion of individual character which has since gone far to secure him a conspicuous place among our modern portrait painters had caught and rendered admirably the quality of s beauty i a large dark containing a library very of its owner s tastes filled up the further end of the low room over the chimney piece was a high wooden rack fastened against the wall on which rested a couple of fly rods done up in neat grey cases a rifle and a double barrel shot gun exhibiting under the careful hands of the highest degree of polish wood and metal could be induced to take some and spurs and miscellaneous odds and ends of a sporting order and in the place of honour just over the a sword the of it giving off a keen cold of light the morning was remarkably mild and fine the window had b en thrown wide open and on the ledge just outside sat s black cat washing his face with his his attention very completely upon his own sleek little person colonel stood by the open window his back to dr as that gentleman with short halting steps entered the room the doctor was not easily taken off his guard but he could hardly restrain an exclamation when his patient turning round came forward to greet him i colonel s wife the colonel was well dressed as usual and liad the air of freshness and cleanliness about him nevertheless a singular alteration had taken place in his appearance his thick hair and heavy moustache had been getting very grey for the last three months it is true but this morning they were as white as snow the effect was startling perhaps it was the result of contrast his eyes appeared vividly almost blue they were sunk in his head yet were very wide open the upper lid being almost hidden under the curve of the eye while they had a distressing fixed stare in them as of one who still sees indeed but to whom the object seen little or no intelligible impression a decided inclination to pressure on the brain i feared something of the kind last night thought dr to himself outwardly he assumed an extra of his habitual i am glad to find you down already my dear colonel he said shaking hands with his patient i trust this is not merely another testimony to your remarkable fortitude but a sign that you are really feeling better yes i suppose i am better replied the colonel as much better as i can have any reasonable hope of being you have a magnificent constitution began the doctor in a tone of encouragement philip back against the of the window have i he said well i can t say that just now i an very glad to hear it i feel uncommonly like a broken down old cab broken and broken well between the shafts the poor old beast remembers better times dr cheery days long ago across country and it s no very great consolation to him to learn that he and the cab are not likely soon to part company philip put his hand out and began the cat but the creature got up stretched with slow and dignified indifference moved along the window ledge just far enough to be out of reach and then calmly its attention	32
to the completion of its dr was silent he perceived that his companion was not in a condition in which it would be of any advantage ordinary mild in the way of comfort it would be better to let colonel have his say out he was evidently under acute excitement of some kind if he vent to it in speech it might be a relief to him dr waited the final reward philip watched the cat for a few seconds then he turned again to the doctor well every dog has his day and had mine i suppose ah good god he broke out suddenly if i could only be in the thick of it all once more you can t think how it all comes back to me hear the roar of the guns and the shout of the men and smell the powder if i could fight he set his teeth and looked across at the sword hanging against the wall yonder yes fight just once more at bottom i am the savage instead of sitting here day after day eating my heart out over trouble that can never be mended he dashed his hand impatiently across his eyes you must forgive a sick man s grumbling he went on more quietly when one like a woman one takes to complaining like one i suppose the old horse will keep on his legs as long as he can after all just from the old habit of going and then some fair morning the poor brute will be too far gone to draw the cab any longer then they ll put a on him and lead him away by the little back streets so that people t see him to the s philip turned away and pressed his forehead against the cool glass of the window that s how it ends he said how it ends ah me and the cruel thing is that last morning is sometimes over long in coming dr was deeply moved he could not trust himself to speak he walked to the other end of the room and stood looking at the backs of the books in the shelf when he came back colonel had recovered his self control pardon me he said i believe i have been guilty of making a great fool of myself i have had a bad night i am not very steady this morning drew forward a chair threw one leg across the other and prepared to deliver a little my duty and i may add my privilege colonel is to the advent of that last morning as long as possible we all quarrel with life at moments i suppose but the quarrel after all is a one the deeper feeling the instinct and impulse of every healthy human being is in favour of life not of death to my mind this love of life so universally in our nature is the of a wise and merciful providence it must be and not outraged as i said before my dear sir you have a magnificent constitution in your case reasonable car life may still yield a ofl fr l colonel en s wife and satisfaction it may be prolonged without becoming an intolerable burden either to yourself or those whom it is your duty to consider but a little common care and are necessary you have disregarded my and your strength in the most wanton manner yesterday it appears to me the attack was produced mainly by too long from food and by over fatigue dr paused his patient stood staring silently out of the window the doctor began to fear his words had been well wasted he shifted his position and added with considerable emphasis your continued silence concerning your state of health has been believe me an almost exaggeration of sensibility you must positively indulge in it no longer we must a new altogether i propose saying a words to mrs myself before leaving here to day colonel faced round upon him quickly the vague fixed look passed away and his expression grew perfectly at the mention of his wife s name he regained his normal manner and bearing and became once more the quiet dignified gentleman whom dr had from the first so warmly admired forgive me he said but that will be unnecessary i shall myself explain matters to mrs all this as you will readily understand cannot fail to be very distressing to her it is only right that she should hear of it from her husband i understand perfectly rejoined the doctor but under existing circumstances i strongly your undertaking an explanation which may lead to that unfortunately is said philip simply dr bowed he was conscious of receiving a but he bore colonel no grudge for it to him his dramatic sense was satisfied by the fact that his patient even now under die heavy pressure of illness held to his original determination and so stoutly refused to own himself beaten constancy of purpose appeared to him as great as it is rare among the virtues during the remainder his visit he kept the conversation in strictly and professional channels and in truth philip had not spoken without due consideration merely by a desire to shield or by a passing feeling of the moment during the past night sitting there alone while the struck hour after hour in the silent house the colonel had been terribly honest with he had faced the situation he had the final reward t realized the purport of it appalling clearness he had parted sternly with all illusion the old necessity for straightforward practical action was strong in him still he had got his marching orders so to speak well then he must obey them there was no longer any place for doubt for hope for hesitation he had ruined his career he had thrown away	32
his life for a thing that had played him false for a thing that could hardly indeed be said to have any real existence at all outside his own imagination he had been he had fallen into a deplorable weakness and error his great and noble love was wounded to the death stricken fainting bleeding he had no hope for it of recovery or returning all he asked for it now was a still and silent death bed free from eyes and whispered comments and the vulgar curiosity of idle persons and lastly a and decent burial that it might lie in some quiet place its brief glory and long sorrow alike blotted out and forgotten with no ingenious phrases but in inarticulate fashion he recognized and admitted the mysterious of s nature recognized that what went to make her personal charm went also to make her for looking at life from any but her own tliat her fascination and her selfishness were in fact saw that her purity took its rise in absence of human passion just as her gaiety took its rise in some radical defect of human sympathy saw too that her quick observation and practical ability were the result of a singular of feeling i do not mean to imply that colonel treated his wife s temperament and drew out a neat of her peculiarities it was in no cool nice spirit of criticism that he arrived at these conclusions but rather in the lightning flash of a blinding conviction he had fought against the truth fought in gallant reckless fashion he had given her every chance but fact is stronger than any man s will or than any man s love either it down down down on us till denial is no longer possible the city is starved out the struggle is over it remains only for th famine wasted garrison to make the best terms it may subject to honour with the colonel s wife chapter iii in which love loses the game yet wins the rubber mr that his visit to england would be pro of bad luck to somebody was not as the event proved it went far to hasten a catastrophe her whole being in fierce revolt from the unjust brought against her had experienced a happy of feeling at the first sight of her old comrade was here she was very fond of the sky cleared suddenly everything would come right again somehow but the young man s words and manner above all the news of his engagement to her step mother had only plunged poor deeper into disappointment gloom and rebellion he could do nothing for her after all he had merely come to read her lessons of submission and duty like the rest and unfortunately such lessons only bored and enraged her she had fallen back upon her husband philip was very good to her kinder than any one she would get him to take her far fi om her present and miseries the world is wide somewhere she might still enjoy herself then even philip failed her he was ill and that disgusted and frightened her she was furious merciless desperate soon after dr left him the colonel went in search of his brilliant young wife he had not seen her since their parting the evening before in the garden he had remained downstairs all night and this morning beyond an inquiry through the medium of had given no sign philip shrank fi om sending for his wife or even asking where she was it seemed an of the between them he thought she might not have come down yet was not famous for early rising so he went through the and hall up the polished oak staircase the broad steps of which where tlie light took them and along the landing to the door of her room it stood philip knocked and as there was no immediate answer he pushed it open the room was a small chaos of trunks and boxes on bed piled up one over the other were the contents of j her dresses a rainbow of s and rich dainty the floor was strewn the final reward little boots and slippers and mysterious paper boxes the dressing table was with half packed and ornaments and about it all lingered that indescribable sweetness which seems to cling to certain women s garments and is so singularly agreeable to the senses kneeling before a big dress basket arranging packing with rapid skilful fingers was s french maid a plain shrewd eyed well dressed person whose elaborate provoked at once the admiration and envy of her fellow as the door opened she glanced up sharply and catching sight of the colonel just behind her gave a little scream ah a thousand she cried rising hastily to her feet i was startled for the moment not knowing that was there colonel looked round the room slowly unable at first to take in what it might all mean le as later to just then he was terrible he had the face of a corpse and eyes of fire my life i cannot forget it at first his fears the j he thought was already gone where is your mistress he asked hoarsely madame went down some half hour ago no doubt will find her in the drawing room the colonel drew himself up and looked very straight at the woman put all those things back in their proper places do you hear he said mrs will not leave home at present returned with perfect sweetness and composure and she began to empty the dress basket again with great alacrity could not help being effective it was as natural to her as her love of music or of dancing when colonel entered the drawing room he was presented with a little picture which to	32
while her husband had been speaking opened her eyes raised herself and turned towards him as he uttered the last words she broke into a loud piercing cry oh philip you are changed i do not know you go away ah go away it is horrible what has happened the colonel did not move ive grown old he said slowly that s all gazed at him for a few seconds in silent wonder as though fascinated her lips parted and the expression of fear grew and deepened in her eyes till it amounted to absolute shall you die philip she whispered at last in an voice yes answered colonel quietly i hope so there was a space of dead silence to the colonel it was a space of dreadful and suspense he could say nothing more only wait listening in breathless expectation for his wife s next words he noted as so often happens in moments of supreme mental excitement a number of little ordinary matters with curious distinctness noted the comfortable of the wood fire on the hearth and the of the tall clock in the corner beating its sixty seconds to the minute with something of indifference to the human tragedy playing itself out so close by and all the while leaned on her elbow resting her rounded chin in her little pink hand and gazed at the man who for love of her had voluntarily condemned himself to such cruel suffering with the same pale lovely terrified countenance at last philip could stand it no longer he faced round speak speak say what you like only put me out of this unspeakable torment the girl flung herself down face foremost upon the couch again oh set me free she cried set me free let me leave you to day while i care while i am still sorry and love you you have never loved me he said you don t even know what love means did not heed him don t keep me here let me go to day i have made all my arrangements it you keep mt i ow i can t help the final reward it i am made like that i hate what is sad and i shall come to hate you philip let me go to day and then i shall think of you as you were not not as you are now ah it is the merest farce our staying here together i can never feel to you again as i used to it will be think what you are me to i might as well be shut away in a prison what does it matter if people do talk haven t they said bad enough things to me already and if i am gone i shall not know it set me free philip or i shall hate you and i don t want to do it she moaned indeed i don t want to but i shall not be able to help it for a few seconds colonel sat quite still his lips were his throat was as dry as summer dust his temples as though they would split yet he was chilled to the bone and the cold sweat stood in great drops on his forehead by sheer force of will he mastered himself stood up and coming forward a few paces looked down at his wife as she lay shaken with the now tide of her passion at the risk of making you hate me i shall keep you here he said sternly i don t do this for my own sake heaven knows as far as that goes i should be thankful if we never met again what torture do you suppose can be more than that of knowing myself in tlie eyes that have been dearer to me than anything else on earth you will not be the only sufferer i shall have my share too never fear i keep you for the sake of your own honour if people have as you hint spoken lightly about you they shall have no cause to do it again while i live and after all you need not fret so very much about it you ll get away soon enough you won t have to put up with me very long i fancy at worst strong men die hard they say but i don t think a man can feel as i do now and bother death greatly by keeping him waiting he moved away went across the room nearly as far as the door and then because true love has in it i suppose when all is said and done something divine and immortal the colonel stopped hesitated suddenly turned back and came and knelt down beside the sofa as he bent low over the young girl philip s face was as the face of an angel awful in its tenderness its pardon and in the purity of its devotion he said my darling my love my bride put your dear arms round me once more for the last time i will never ask you again trust me never he kissed her eyes her lips bu x ru s s colonel s wife hand down over her form from throat to ankle while she shuddered and shrank away under his touch with speechless emotion then he the soft white hands that clung so unwillingly about his neck and laid the girl in her long white back softly and reverently upon the cushions farewell he said henceforth we will meet only as strangers yet god keep you always my fair child for me it has ended badly alas but i do not complain i too have had my beautiful days chapter iv philip finds his way in a sense it may be said that suffering supplies its own nature forced beyond a legitimate point of	32
endurance upon herself and takes refuge in or certain it is that when the last few searching yet illuminated moments of his interview with his wife were over philip fell into a condition of singular mental he was still conscious it is true of being bowed down by the weight of a heavy but his perception of the extent of that became indistinct his sense of the situation was his misery was no longer active full of force and energy but dull and slow as the sob of the dying storm when the morning breaks dim and sullen over sea and wreck strewn shore where the tempest beat out the madness of its fury through the long night he went back to his room sat down near the open window and stared with sad fixed eyes out over the lawn on which and to and fro searching for worms in the moist grass to the meadow with its great chestnut trees that raised their ragged branches towards the i blue grey sky exhausted with excitement and his night of watching the colonel after a brief period of semi consciousness slept he dreamed that he stood once more in the glaring italian sunshine on the terrace of the villa in her simple light cotton dress was beside him brilliant merry her arms full of great red roses she wanted something which he was powerless to give her and and pleaded with him i pretty laughing fashion and then somehow the the final reward scene changed she had got monkey in her arms instead of the roses she was going up a cold wide white marble staircase which seemed to stretch up and up far out of sight nd philip followed her always just a few steps behind he strained every nerve to get nearer to her called to her implored her to wait for him but still she flitted on lightly in front always just out of his reach while the monkey looking over her shoulder grinned and pointed at him philip was faint and terribly weary he could not move fast and she got farther and farther ahead sometimes she looked back smiling gaily seeming half inclined to stop her soft rounded cheek lying against the monkey s brown one in hideous and all the while the stairs stretched on for ever and ever philip was driven forward by a necessity to overtake the girl to clasp her to him to hold and keep her he was very very it was impossible hopeless suddenly there came a great sound of rushing water flung back a high massive door that loomed up in front of her opening on to vast spaces of drifting gloom and full of shapes the monkey s face had changed into a mail s now which philip knew and yet did not know he had seen it somewhere but he was sick with fruitless effort and bewildered he could not remember where he called aloud to once more desperately wildly but she neither stayed nor answered the door swung to behind her with a and she and the thing she carried fled away and vanished in the driving mist with his arms outstretched the sound of the closing door in his and the cry on his lips lost lost philip awoke in this work a day world high romance only to visit us at intervals between we have to deal with plain vulgar matters which we shall reckon an or a relief according to our humour the first thing that met philip s distracted gaze when he opened his eyes was the face of as that entered the room carrying a luncheon tray shall i bring it to you there sir or will you come across to the fire he asked quietly the transition of thought seemed to philip too in his present state of agitation and excitement he put out his hand with a sharp movement of oh put it where you like i don t want anything he said however was not disposed to take an refusal of this kind he drew up a table and put the tray oh it neatly setting the glasses in order and turning out the corners of the white k colonel s wife it s past two o clock quite time you had something said with a touch of respectful authority the colonel shook his head in disgust i can t eat they say a man makes a good breakfast when he s going to be hung but it s too much to expect him to have an appetite when he s in bent down and poured some brandy into a with careful i d give my right hand gladly to see you out of this colonel he said and his hard voice trembled philip looked away over the quiet garden he stood too sorely in need of human sympathy just then to be able to reject any that came to him i believe you would and i am grateful to you you ve been the best servant to me a man ever had for years but you will never see me out of this except one way it was a little time before answered you must eat sir all the same he said presently there s no gain i can see in starving food which brought back a measure of physical strength brought with it a renewed capacity of mental suffering for so long every thought and aim of philip s existence had in his wife in her happiness her amusements and and now it was all over between them his mind seemed a blank the present was incomprehensible the future inconceivable he felt as one who has lost a limb the brain still sends out its message but instead of the answering movement there is only the weary ache of severed nerve and muscle	32
only the horrible knowledge of and then too the memory of that ghastly dream possessed him turn where he would he still seemed to see the monkey s hateful changing face or the girl s hastening figure an imperative desire for space for the free air came upon him he picked up a hat and passing through the and hall went out at the door and along the carriage drive towards the stables he walked quietly stopping now and again and resting for exertion was difficult to him still he felt easier and less distressed out of doors the stables are almost hidden from the windows of the house itself by a thick belt of and laurel bushes the circular space of grass before the door they consist of a range of rather fine old red brick buildings with high pitched roofs freely with grey and orange while the of them is covered in closely ivy the clean neat the final reward yard was empty the groom and stable having gone to their dinner the colonel had wandered on there seemed no reason for going one way rather than another then because the day was soft and mild and because he himself was and weary he went and sat down on the old stone beside the stable door the shadows of the bare branches of the neighbouring trees to and fro on the worn brick pavement at his feet some flies revived by the warmth of the morning and counting like silly on the immediate arrival of summer with its unlimited pleasure and plenty had crept out of holes and and among the ivy leaves on the wall behind him the wind was from south to east and the gilt on the end of the stable and as it turned unwillingly in its rusty iron perched aloft on the shoot of a young silver fir in the a was singing and the short broken of the bird s song formed themselves into a series of quaint phrases and questions in philip s brain he sat quite still he could hear the horses their com in the stable through the half open above him and the short muffled stamp of their hoofs on the and all the while the sang on it came over him that the had sung like that in the merry spring time at years ago when he was an ugly boy in secret by his mother and knocked about a bit by handsome high spirited who found in him so willing an admirer and but the birds songs alas carried a very different message in those far off days to the young lad with all the world before him they sang to him of fame and fan fortune of love of bright eyes and of the sweet mystery of maidens kisses of battle and danger and of glory of honour and faith and of high courage then and of these three last and best things perhaps the bird sang still philip was worn and broken he could hardly tell but for the rest he knew it sang all sadly of grief that knows no remedy of pain that knows no of and disappointment of fond purposes broken like withered twigs by the harsh winds of law and fate knew that it questioned half if silence after all is not kinder than speech and darkness kinder than light and death kinder than life and through all the sad memories of the old home which he had loved and lost to which he had turned with strong yearning and desire in the hour of his prosperity called aloud to philip now in the hour of his colonel en s wife to come back and look again on lawn and wood and river to come back and dwell for a little space in the magic land of childhood that is f r most of us the land of promise too z land of promise which worse luck unlike that of the children of lies behind us and not before there was a sound of footsteps william in his tight fitting stable clothes came whistling cheerily back from his dinner with a new in his hand seeing his master he looked at him for a moment and then his hand h alter and all went hastily up to the brim of his hat colonel rose stiffly from his seat on the yet he had found a vague promise of in the midst of his misery i ll get home he said half aloud get home and see it all once more before i die he called to the groom who was the harness room door put the saddle on the mare william he said i want hen you needn t take her round ill wait here till she s ready it was over three months since the colonel had ridden the unexpected order and strange alteration in his master s appearance struck william pretty forcibly he was a spare lean blessed with a small enough habit of observation outside the strict limits of his calling but in this case he to have an opinion of his own he gave colonel another look and then observed with awkward hesitation she ain t been out of the stable to day sir well she s all right i suppose she s sound the groom his feet a little and passed the back of his hand across his mouth oh she s sound enough he answered but i was thinking you ain t been riding much sir lately and you might find her a bit over fresh and the words were kindly enough meant but they carried a sharp sting of vexation to colonel this slight opposition made him only the more determined to have his own way it s not my habit to give orders twice over he said beg your pardon sir murmured the groom as he stepped	32
inside the harness room and took a bridle down from its place against the wall i m blessed if the colonel looks any more fit to get on that ere os than a week old baby he said to himself a sense of s ow still the final reward a common alike to disease and to what we call sorrow but which perhaps is really only a form of disease he wanted to get over to directly the big house he knew was empty jack having had a pretty sharp touch of consequent on rather too high living and having gone off to to with and the children in his train philip w have the place to himself and that he was glad of but it seemed such a long time to him waiting here he wondered half angrily whether a groom had ever been so slow a horse before as to the risk he incurred in taking a long ride his mind was by illness and mental anguish and he was past thinking or caring about it one way or another he only wanted to escape to get home a little and as william led the great handsome hunter out of the doorway and philip mounted and rod away the mare as had been predicted proved very sufficiently troublesome a long rest had cured her strained shoulder and like of old she had and kicked she was in a very frame of mind delighted at getting out of the stable and prepared to tax her rider s pretty perhaps it was just as well so colonel settled himself down in the saddle old habit and a sense of excitement possibly the vitality of the great beast under him roused him into fuller life and lightened the load of his sorrow for the time being it was wonderfully pleasant to him even now when things liad reached this desperate pass to find himself across a horse again to fight a little with the splendid animal that resisted and defied him and by patience and determination to bring it gradually under control the mare s kept him fully occupied till he had passed out of the iron gates through which had swept in so the previous afternoon returning from her meeting with nor did she into a decent and restrained manner of going until after passing the church and the long straggling row of half houses which form the end of village in that direction the colonel found himself fairly started on the high road after crossing the red brick bridge the brook a of the that the winding valley between and cold there is a short hill at the top of it philip checked the mare he turned sideways in the saddle rested his hand on her sleek quarters and looked back beyond the line of the brook v tv v r colonel s wife on the southern exposure of the ground the cottages showing white among their little gardens was the village he had just left beyond again where the rich fertile bottom lands away to the right he could see the green rolling pastures of his own farm over which he had so peacefully and the day before it seemed years ago that he had stood with about the stock and that rare lot er the southern windows of the house caught the sunlight and pale squares of brightness among the dark trees above the sweep of the meadows the colonel gazed back long and wistfully but he could see nothing dearly those distant flickering spots of light danced before him his eyes were full of tears i did the best i could to make her happy ah you will never know how i have loved you his voice broke with a bitter sob it was so utterly vain so infinitely sad if it was only all over he said to himself then seemed to call aloud to him again to come home and rest what use could there be now in looking back either actually or in spirit he set his face like a flint choked down the half uttered cry of despair turned in the saddle again gave the mare her head and let her go forward at a quiet steady pace over the strip of rough grass by the road and so colonel rode on up the long valley with s keeping its woods and deer park lying misty in the sunlight on the right sometimes he passed a farmer s tax cart with two broad backed swaying figures in it or met a crawling slowly along the muddy road the smoke of a passing train left a soft wavering trail of white the pastures and dark hedges a couple of moved along the high range of plough land on the left the men and growing large and distinct against the background of dull sky z they climbed the shoulder of the hill on past house with its shadowy brown and pleasant where the and chase each other with clear liquid cries in and out among the tall and cat s tails on through village where the children their day s work over rushed out from the low school house with its row of large dusty windows and clustered in groups and on the playing laughing scolding in shrill young voices on again up the steep lane that skirts the thick fox covert at end and leads to the open table land above on between broad bare fields and ill kept the final reward thorn hedges across a stretch of raw red country where even the straight trunks and round heads of the elm trees do not break the dreary of the landscape past cross with its four uninteresting roads and hamlet of mean ill looking houses about a few of waste land where stand the worn steps and broken shaft of a cross	32
on one long weary mile after another with the fixed stare in his blue eyes and the broken hearted craving for home and rest rode philip the mare had grown quiet by this time and her rider was thankful for it he was nearly spent he began to fear his strength would give out before the end of the journey the of the horse s hoofs formed itself into an ever which beat into his brain with distressing he leaned forward and looked for the first glimpse of the twisted chimneys of the cottages in street the aspect of the weather had changed greatly during the last hour the sun was lost behind a of dull grey cloud that spread rapidly eating up the tender blue of the sky the wind which had been light and during the morning now blew harshly from the east and the breath of it seemed to all the land taking the out of it and making both earth and sky wan and sad along street philip rode slowly he knew every house in it every yellow brown end every yard of wall and painted wooden every strip of garden between the low house fronts and the raised the road but to day the street seemed interminable to day it looked strangely vacant and the whole interest of the place was concentrated round the which glared red under its sloping slate roof showing sharp against the darkness behind them the figures of the men working within some carts and farm implements in process of mending stood on the patch of ground in front of it while a company of lads in awkward fashion about the open doors scraps of old iron and other interesting refuse of the establishment when nobody happened to be looking drama is conspicuous by its absence in and mrs the sour sweet faced wife of the worthy was never tired of subsequently how she and three of her dear children precise self conscious little beings by the way their limp fair hair curled in the smooth like manner that obtained so universally some twenty years ago and that yet in a few families how she and the i colonel en s wife children had met colonel that afternoon just as they were coming out of the gate the good lady who with a deep seated belief in the security of her own social position com a lively desire for recognition of the said position on the part of others was sadly put about by the fact that colonel failed in passing to look at her or return her salute later things explained themselves and mrs had her hour of and in truth the colonel had no strength left just now for small social he rode on and resolutely his face pale and rigid as though it had been carved in stone his eyes fastened on the road just in front of his horse s head the last few miles had been as much as he could manage the ex that him at starting had the emotion that had quickened him when looking back at the house had passed away leaving his mind more than ever confused and dim pain and utter weariness of body increased upon him and it was just as much as he could do to guide the mare and keep himself upright in the saddle with a dull but sense of he heard the park gate swing to behind him but on this particular afternoon wore anything but a cheerful aspect with which to greet her returning son the wide rolling slopes of the park showed a dirty tint dotted here and there with the darker tones of the twisted thorn the of larger trees rose gaunt and through the livid down on the low land the massive house and its adjacent buildings and spreading like a grey winding sheet along the course of the river hung the fog in the shelter and drifting sullenly to westward where the wind caught and drove it the mare plunged and as the rough scotch cattle getting up from the roadside started away a few paces and then turning stared fiercely tossing their wild shaggy heads and wide horns in the air the serious scene had for the moment something weird and unreal about it and like of old calm of face pure in heart but hard beset with strange sights strange strange temptations philip rode down into that dreary valley of shadow the big house with all its blinds drawn down stood deserted silence reigned not only indoors but out of doors as well save for the rattle of the mare s hoofs on the as the colonel turned her in under the stable in the not a soul was to be seen the final reward the colonel got off his horse with and stood for some minutes with his hand resting on the creature s shoulder he was cold and cramped and the ground seemed to under his feet stiffly and painfully half with weakness he got one of the stable doors open and the mare into an empty stall fastened the pillar rein on either side to the rings of her bit then passing through the again he went away up the carriage drive under the double flight of stone steps and round to the garden front of the house the fog streamed by thick chill and clinging before the wind it veiled everything beyond an area of some few yards in grey semi obscurity colonel went on very slowly along the terrace the house with its many closed windows rising grim and dark on his left hand he wandered on stopping every few steps to get his breath wandered on hardly why or where he went urged forward by that same terrible instinct of restlessness turning off the terrace he struck down across the la ns in the direction	32
of the little wood which clothes the of land in the curve of the river the smooth grass was slippery with fog the air grew more dense and it took him a long time to get down over the lawn to the outskirts of the wood he moved stumbling now and then and recovering his footing with difficulty there was a path through the wood somewhere he knew if he could only find it leading to an old wooden boat house and summer house on the river philip had not thought of the place for years yet suddenly he was possessed with an desire to see it again it used to be a pleasant spot on still summer evenings his mother liked it she would sit there and watch and him as they about on the stream diligently for fish which as diligently refused to be caught if he could only find the path he would go back there now and rest he was in pain pain which grew stronger and every minute and he was so so cruelly tired the fog lifted a little philip pushed forward over the leaves while twigs snapped under his tread he about trying earnestly to find the path but he could not see his way he was with pain and exhaustion and it was all changed too the had grown up thick and tangled since he was here last he struggled on stumbled almost fell got on to his feet a ain struggled on a little further he tried to raise his arm to shield his face firom the low sweeping branches and but colonel en s wife he could not raise it it was and again he stumbled and fell forward he had a moment of passionate anger hke that of a disappointed child he had missed the way altogether and got back to the outskirts of the wood again it was hateful to be like this helpless feeble bewildered the man s pride it he leaned up against the smooth silvery trunk of a great on the edge of the wood he was with pain desolate and despairing had called him home only to mock at and shame him to make him know his own physical infirmity and disgrace to show him how low he had fallen then in the midst of his intolerable humiliation a great light broke upon philip s soul suddenly he understood what was about to happen he had a perception of a mighty and final he his shoulder against the stem of the tree his bodily suffering was keen and bitter but his mind was clearer than it had been since he parted with his wife in the drawing room of the house in the morning and with that clearness of mind came a sense of peace this is death he said to himself gracious kindly death it is coming at last god is good after all he sends the recall when he sees we can t stand it any longer he stood and waited awed but calm and very for the thing that should come to him in the last few minutes the wind had risen scattering the fog which rolled away in heavy masses down the valley philip raised his head and looked once more with all the wonder of dying eyes at the place which he loved heard the rush of the wind and the call of the in the high trees overhead heard the rabbit away through the heard the splash of the rising fish and the and sweep of the river saw between the tree stems the great square house standing stately above its broad fair and saw the western sky open in dull crimson between heavy bars of cloud and the sun sink a ball of sullen flame behind the rounded masses of the distant woods farewell dear old earth he said you and i too have been lovers the fierce agony of pain came on him again a dreadful tearing apart of soul and body in which the man s and reason almost fainted he staggered forward blindly for a few yards you are he gasped ah god be merciful be merciful to me a sinner the final reward then he fell back his whole length on the ground among the leaves and the coarse grass and the nature strikes one as but a heartless and heedless mistress at times she has no tears to shed even for those who have worshipped her most devoutly when they pass out into the eternal silence in the vast circle of her perfect order and endless death is no blot no inscrutable mystery it has its place duly set and and appears not an accident at once and incomprehensible but rather as an act of restoration it gives back to her soiled and tattered the garment she lent the human spirit at its birth to make in due process of time over again into new forms of freshness wonder and beauty that night at the wind swept the heavens clear of cloud and the keen stars came out one by one in the great vault overhead and the river slipped by with its sweet liquid whisper under the dark trees between its low rush grown banks the played together in the dusk on the flat grass meadow and the came from their covert and sailed on broad silent wings round the woods and the house each other in love or challenge with ghostly hollow greetings in the small hours of the morning the frost crept up from the stream side and all the with a glittering of innumerable and all the while philip who had loved and suffered and with temptation and strained after a noble ideal of living lay there alone and cold his blue eyes half open and the surprise of everlasting rest on his dead what	32
shall we say is it a thought of strong consolation or of terror that the fate of each one of us matters so little and that the great world rolls on from age to age serene and fearless as careless of the birth and death of her human children as she is of the that through one bright hour above the swaying reed bed or of the frost that into under the first kiss of the sun at morning ah love us in pity love us brother mortals for nature in her greatness is deaf and blind to all our sorrow and complaining and when we go hence nothing stays to mourn for us either in earth or sky stay you then and mourn at least for a season it is vain to hope the most faithful among you will mourn us for long sa colonel wife chapter v the married man more than three years have passed away it is june june in the south too as you may see by the depth of shade cast by the projecting angle of the tall yellow house behind you a garden brilliant with flowers cut at many different out on the with small paths numerous flights of steps half overgrown with a garden the geography of which it is difficult to master at first sight but whose charm grows upon you acquaintance stretches down to a wall a line of low grass grown beyond is a road with a wide on the further side of it and then the dancing sparkling purple sea to the right between tall solitary painted houses and looking across the patches of and garden you can see the city with its great half circle of splendid and buildings facing the crowded harbour above are the mountains and to the west is the long sweep of the coast line sharp and clear in the sunlight and blotted in the shadow with deep blue haze on the flat strip of ground between the garden wall and the a quantity of shot is piled in black dazzling and squares and a little farther on stands a small grim building before which a in white linen pale blue uniform and white covered slowly paces to and fro you have seen the spot before reader but with other eyes and under other circumstances so it is worth while to run through the list of its attractions once again in the deep shadow cast by the angle of the house with glass doors opening into a cool painted hall on his and a row of red and white bushes in full flower on his extended in a long cane chair and clad in the of summer suits mr a between his lips idly contemplated the brilliant scene around him has changed somewhat in these last three years he has filled out a good deal his figure has lost a little of its original and the expression of his dark handsome sleepy face has grown more decided heaven forbid that i should suggest that he has grown stout or to the end mr will be a person and a of indifference and polite in the final reward hi his chair stood across the comer of a large many coloured carpet spread on the gravel before the window on which half fitting half lying with a multitude of toys and treasures scattered about her played with her year old baby a sturdy brown darling his great eyes filled with the happy content of a creature to whom the world as yet has shown only a smiling face a famous writer tells us that marriage is a process to some women is a more process still in the tender ceaseless and anxiety of had not only grown more gentle and but had found the truest and purest of her life she had not the temperament which goes to make a hai y woman few persons whose are keen can have that but in this clinging morsel of humanity whose tiny fat hands with funny uncertain gestures down the towers she so diligently erected for him flinging the wooden bricks over her gown and the carpet with of the delight she came nearer laying hold of that much yet practically almost unknown quantity of happiness than ever before stretched himself in his long chair and yawned a little it was hot on change to day he said in his soft voice one felt like those excellent youths in the fiery furnace with this difference that whereas they were cast into it because they refused to worship the golden image we cast ourselves into it voluntarily in a spirit of to try who could worship her most successfully really it is inspiring to note the of one s own capacity of i cared the very least possible about making money when i first went into business and now i dream not of you don t indulge in any charming upon that head as i sit here watching your with that infant but and solely of dollars and cents that remark was made a long time ago but it holds good still you know his wife looked up from the tower she was just the baby sitting by with round serious eyes one thumb stuck into his of a mouth while with the other hand he his bare toes as they from under the short skirts of his full white frock you enjoy the worst of yourself she answered and is only a more subtle kind of after all colonel s wife true he rejoined with admirable but one must cultivate a certain measure of conceit to keep one s self going at all and a subtle form of it is less offensive than a gross one any way isn t it turned her attention to the baby now sweetest it is	32
ready look so very high right both hands and down it all goes as the tower fell with a crash to the ground you will bring that boy up to be an and red republican if you to his destructive and inclinations in this open way remarked mr he the end of his away under the long bushes and rested his elbows on the arms of his chair pressing the tops of his fingers together as he back again and looked at his handsome wife between half closed eyelids the of my character he continued was brought home very forcibly to me to day by an encounter i had with an old acquaintance coming up the to return to the interesting subject of myself i feel but it is quite unnecessary you should listen unless you are so disposed i was reminded of the past of certain passages in my experiences which were not without a touch of pathos just under s i ran right into the arms of that worthy little gentleman he was quite affectionate to me having a heavy cargo of conversation on board apparently and no english ear wherein to discharge it i asked him to dinner ah i hoped we should have been alone for once to night said mrs quickly somebody is always coming i am disappointed my precious one you must not that nasty little red horse all the paint will come off come come give it to mother like a good child it was a christian act i assure you he was absolutely with the desire to find some one to whom to speak he told me several little scraps of gossip to begin with our dear aunt mrs has had a and is nursing her day and night like an angel there is a rumour that a doctor who is supposed once to have entertained tender sentiments towards her i mean not her mother has settled a large sum of money on that little the doctor must be more or less of a fool the money of course will go as poor s went in ways that had best not be too the final reward paused for a minute or two and yawned again just a trifle mr inquired about he said presently bent her head low over the baby and gently tried to remove the tempting of little red horse from between his lips had he not heard then apparently not so i enlightened him i told him how mr j s neatness of personal appearance supported by a brown house on fifth avenue a cottage at an apartment in the a villa at nice fast trotting horses a steam and modest little in the way of packing cases full of diamonds had entirely won s affections swore a little and then asked if the marriage was a happy one i told him we had reason to believe that the lady was perfectly satisfied and that the gentleman had attained his highest ambition in possessing the most expensive wife in new york which i imagine is saying a good deal upon that i grieve to say mr became extremely it was specially awkward for two high in green were looking in at the shop windows just behind us why i wonder added mr with ah air of inquiry do always look in at shop windows as though they were in the act of committing a petty arid were afraid of being taken red handed however i bore with him he appeared so extremely that i fancied it would be wiser to let him have it out when he had blown off his steam he asked after you he was good enough to me with poor colonel to tell me i had always known which side my bread was to intimate that i was an acute person and had got very much the best of the bargain what did you answer asked looking up at him suddenly with a flush on her cheek ah i my dear he cried half laughing you don t need to have that at this time of day do you surely now it is quite a matter of ancient history the flush deepened in mrs cheek she drew the baby towards her and pressed her face against his fat brown shoulder there are some chapters of ancient history a woman can hardly read too often she said perhaps a trifle proudly your husband must be a brute if he does not love you rejoined colonel s wife he stretched out his hand over the arm of his chair towards her as he spoke the baby clutched at it with soft fingers raised himself bravely into a standing position stuck first one foot and then the other straight out in front of him having still a greater inclination to regard those members as agreeable than as serious to the process of and finally losing his balance descended with a in a sitting posture upon the carpet again the said his small person and he gazed round with a piteous and tearful demand for sympathy it serves you right you little animal his father said it wasn t your hand i wanted you know but your mother s rose to her feet picked up the child and stood a stately well poised figure her head raised and the black lace she wore falling in dusky folds over her shoulders looking out far across the glittering bay ah poor philip she cried suddenly i am frightened when i think of him as i stand here with my boy in my arms in the midst of all this ease and beauty and comfort god forgive me if i did him a cruel injury smiled quietly and shaded his eyes with his hand as he looked at her so as to get a better view his wife appeared to great advantage just now you	32
have still rather an excessive way of stating things he said in his rich sweet tones there is quite another point of view from which the question may be regarded and to which i venture to call your attention if he had married years ago if he had never fallen in love with that fascinating being mark you i don t join in mr s by any means colonel would have remained a very ordinary prejudiced stiff english soldier and gentleman and the world would never have dreamed of what he was capable you gave him his opportunity he had the wit to take it he became something of a hero of course heroism demands certain sacrifices well i must say colonel made them in a very manner he never liked me but i bear him no malice you see i do him justice she turned to him rather sternly don t jest about this she said let us keep a few memories sacred let there be a few things we don t push aside with an easy shrug of the shoulders and a cynical laugh sat up and a strange expression crossed his ce his eyes were sad enough still at moments they were very sad now as he looked full and steadily at his the final reward my dear you are guilty of doing me a slight injustice he answered perhaps i have paid a more practical tribute to colonel s memory than any one else after all i don t want to my own small virtues but remember i found myself left alone under highly critical circumstances with his widow who being at drawn with all her friends and neighbours was thrown with rather dangerous completeness upon my hands he rose to his feet came over and standing by his wife rested his hand lightly on her shoulder and then kissed the baby as it lay smiling in her arms i am not a very sentimental person he went on gently but i don t put quite everything aside with a laugh and shrug of the shoulders even so i often think of the frosty february morning with the pale coloured sunrise after that wretched night of fruitless search when and i found philip lying under the bare trees beside that quiet english river it was a thing one does not easily forget i should be very glad to know that my face would have no worse secrets to tell than that man s had when i too lie dead there there what s the matter with you why my dear you are soft hearted but here s looking for all the world as if she thought i d been beating you coming to fetch the baby it s time for you to go in and dress put on a nice gown and finish the conquest of good little i like to hear men say my wife is the woman of her age in you know when he was alone lay back comfortably in his long chair again tlie deep shadow of the house got narrow and as the sun moved towards the west there were sweet in the air from the blooming garden and a low murmur of the sea and of the distant turmoil and life of the great urgent city had been a good deal stirred somehow and he did not altogether enjoy it in matters of feeling he was still decidedly indolent emotion is a dangerous thing the mother of innumerable follies he did his best therefore to hei company meanwhile round the end of the house stopping nervously every minute or two with rapid angry glances and quick of the eyebrows came a very little figure the monkey along near the ground holding up the links of a broken chain that from a broad band round his waist in one thin hand he crept under the shelter of the and waited there peering anxiously about him chattering to himself and showing his i colonel en s wife half in wickedness and half in fear reaching up now and then as he on his and scratching his ugly old with the hand that was disengaged in deep perplexity rolled himself another struck a match and lighted it as he did so crawled out from us hiding place and came and silently against his masters knee ah you abominable little sinner said the latter looking down at the creature youve broken your chain and got loose again then have you closer to him gazing up with an air of pathetic misery into his face with all his affectation of and dislike of emotion mr was at bottom very tender hearted he picked up the monkey held it in his arms and began it you are very faithful you poor little devil he said gently it seems hardly fair to have you banished and beaten because you had just humanity enough in you to get an acute attack of jealousy and try to bite and that favourite of the establishment the baby but you can t expect to indulge your small with any more than the rest of us in a way it is a compliment to the our common and proves her claims that both branches of her descendants notwithstanding slight outward differences should be judged by the same law mused for a few seconds in silence softly patting the dismal looking little beast that against him no he went on presently you cannot expect to get off free any more than others there is a price set on everything in this world not only on vice and and crime and weakness and folly but on love and youth and beauty and virtue and faith and honour as well and we pay it he shrugged his shoulders and laughed a little pay it good heavens i i should just we did we day it down to	32
the ths end by william a s a k xvi i a list of an paul co s lie a tions ki square london a list of paul co s contents page general literature library pulpit scientific series military works poetry novels and tales books for the young page general literature a k h b from a quiet place a of sermons crown vo alexander william d d bishop of great question and other sermons crown vo s t jf y m a ad the result of a life vo a life s decision crown vo td rev w the history of catholic and the progress of the catholic church in the british chiefly in england from j professor th history and principles of the civil la w of rome an aid to the study of scientific and comparative i j ancient and modern a j i of translated by f h m a third edition crown j y y a flight to with page and a railway map of crown j d i paul co s i i j y six months in cape colony and with illustrations and map crown vo j and in old french and rendered in modern english by f w vo td a c and and other sermons crown vo j brother and the christian church small crown vo id george i c z an english in which the equivalent for english words and sentences are rendered into literary and royal to b age hot walter constitution fourth edition crown vo s d street a description of the money market eighth edition crown vo d on reform crown vo some articles on the of silver and topics connected with it vo c e accidents in mines their causes and crown vo s the principles of second edition greatly enlarged crown vo s the principles of civil as applied to and estate management crown vo j d henry m the and henry of with maps y h large and small game of and the north western provinces of india with illustrations new and cheaper edition small to los d ball john f r s l o of a in south america with map crown d s and f z a hebrew grammar with exercises selected from the bible crown vo j d v life in with numerous illustrations by crown to s k p students companion containing problems in and for students of the indian crown j a list of dr a introduction to greek and latin for students translated and adapted from the german by c paul m a and e d stone m a third edition crown vo dr ba k george life sixty years ago a record of adventures which led up to the discovery of the relics of the long missing expedition commanded by the de la crown vo y d a c william sometime of a study with portrait crown vo dr bird charles f g s in germany and small crown vo s d birth and grow th of religion a book for workers crown vo cloth s paper covers is mrs l beasts and birds illustrations of scripture from the original to j y r ry and the an crown vo s d the j reminiscences of court and life new and cheaper edition with crown vo j blunt the ven the divine and other sermons preached in and in new and cheaper edition crown vo j blunt s future of crown vo j ideas about india crown vo cloth j alexander a ho an the holy scenes in africa with route map and eight illustrations by a f crown vo j j no and reality a criticism of mr f h s principles of logic crown vo j s e and an inquiry into the supposed of animal types crown vo bo h c il studies in english for the use of modem schools ninth thousand small crown vo u english grammar for vo s simple english poems english literature for junior classes in four parts parts i ii and iii each part iv u complete f if the principles of logic vo i j br rev t history of the holy in great britain vo co s rev the fight of faith sermons preached on various occasions fifth edition crown vo ts d the spirit of the christian life third edition crown vo j in the english poets and burns sixth edition post vo christ in modern life sixteenth edition crown vo sermons first series edition crown vo sermons second series sixth edition crown vo s brown life on the with illustrations and map crown vo studies crown vo js d brown rev j tlie higher life its reality experience and destiny sixth edition crown vo doctrine of in the light of the gospel of love five fourth edition crown vo s d the christian policy of life a book for young men of business third edition crown vo d henry c help in where to go and what to do crown vo is d helps to health the the the and the person with a chapter on pleasure and health crown vo is d of county crown vo s d m the late very rev t his life by w j with portrait vo j inner life of and the holy land post vo s c the of consumption a mode of founded on a new theory of the nature of the vo los d y m church of the an historical inquiry vo and the open secret of his life by henry vo carpenter w b ll d m d s f	32
the principles of mental with their to the training and discipline of the mind and the study of its morbid conditions illustrated sixth edition vo a list of hi bi b m catholic dictionary containing some account of the doctrine discipline rites ceremonies and religious orders of the catholic church by william e and thomas m a third edition vo ij century horse vol i half s d charles rev r h forgiveness and other sermons crown vo j the of translated with critical notes and fourth edition vo j job and solomon or the wisdom of the old testament vo s the or the book of the praises of translated with vo t elements of translated by dr with figures crown vo j d ton jane scientific and the of happiness large crown vo j rev henry james a k c the science vo lor d edward f r a s childhood of the world a simple account of man in early times eighth edition crown vo a special edition for schools is the childhood of including a simple account of the birth and growth of and legends ei th thousand crown vo a special edition for schools i d of with a brief sketch of history to the time of his birth small crown vo s y z z the modern and other sermons by the very rev h h d d dean of chapel royal new and cheaper edition crown vo d and letters of by her daughter with index cheap edition with portrait js d the hon f y w crown vo j a a discontent and danger in india small crown vo j the revolution of india crown vo j d cook ll d the fathers of a study of the of the christian doctrine and traditions vo j paul co s the late rev t i tales essays and poems crown vo k guide to modern english history part i vo part ii i s cotton h y s fi india or india in transition third edition crown vo j d cheap edition paper covers is francis money the training of the instinct of love with a preface by the rev m a small crown s d rev sir george w m a the of the nations new edition i s tales of ancient greece new edition small crown s a manual of in the of question and answer new edition an introduction to the science of comparative and folk lore second edition crown j ci rev sir g w m a and jones popular of the middle ages third edition in i vol crown j rev samuel d d a on the book of job with a translation second edition s or is christ the of all men tenth edition crown the larger hope a to second edition i mo s the of evil and other sermons mainly third edition crown j an and a study crown miracles an argument and a challenge crown s d ven mrs k year s meditations crown s a old and new with illustrations and maps new and cheaper edition crown francis richard il z thomas a notes of a visit to the scenes in which his life was spent with portraits and illustrations s w b d politics and an essay on the nature of principles of political economy together vith a survey of recent crown the gold treasure of india an into its amount the cause of its and the proper means of using it as money crown a list of dan continued discarded silver a plan for its use as money small crown vo j daniel a sketch and a defence crown vo the life of words as the of ideas crown vo j d rev samuel d d ll i of the bible its formation history and third and edition small crown vo the doctrine of last things contained in the new testament compared with the notions of the jews and the statements of church small crown vo s d j m a prayers with a discourse on prayer by his wife first series ninth edition crown vo d prayers w ith a discourse on prayer by george st second series crown vo s sermons on disputed points and special occasions by his wife fourth edition crown vo dr sermons on daily life and duty by his wife fourth edition crown vo s the gospel and other sermons by george st f g s third edition crown vo s lectures by george st f g s third edition large crown vo d shakespeare and other lectures by george st f g s large crown vo js d de madame i fourth edition crown vo cloth ij d paper covers s h c a year in with notes on religion natural history etc maps and illustrations vo i j doctor the old german play turned into english with introduction etc by t t h large post vo js d edward z a critical study of his mind and art eighth edition vo i j studies in literature fourth edition large post vo s and studies large post vo vo paul du count the the and the with third edition small crown vo j h infant health the and of early life crown vo of rome and the people by with nearly illustrations to in parts j each vol education library by sir philip an introduction to the history of theories by m a second edition j ci old greek education by the rev m a second edition j school management including a p view of the work of education organization and discipline by joseph sixth edition s major general sir of his life and letters by	32
his wife with portrait and illustrations vo j henry studies in s crown vo j s life by english edition with portrait crown vo s fan at before treaty days by an old resident with crown five o clock tea containing for cakes etc cloth is d paper covers is studies in the poetry of robert crown s samuel r and y bass m a introduction to the study of english history second edition large crown in advance of present science a critical investigation of chapters i ix by a d george henry progress and poverty an inquiry into the causes of and of increase of want with increase of wealth the remedy fifth library edition post js d cabinet edition crown s d also a cheap edition limp cloth j d paper covers is protection or free trade an examination of the question with especial regard to the interests of labour second edition crown a list of george henry continued social problems fourth thousand crown vo j cheap edition paper covers u mrs and other by fifth edition crown vo joseph or ignorance the way to science in an essay of the vanity of and confident opinion with essay by john vo printed on hand made paper j of terms and phrases by the rev h smith and others second and cheaper edition medium vo j d k it a first book with short notes and an introduction to the analysis of sentences second edition vo j j g of with from his letters and journals by his widow with steel engraved portrait third edition crown vo major general c g his journals at printed from the original ms with introduction and notes by a portrait maps and illustrations two vo ij also a cheap edition in i vol s s general last journal a of the last journal received in england from general by imperial to z v events in his life from the day of his birth to the day of his death by sir h w with maps and illustrations second edition vo j century studies a contribution to the history of english poetry yo d rev s m a germany present and past new and cheaper edition large crown vo j d the of a life of robert crown vo j go wan major walter a s russian grammar i th edition translated enlarged and arranged for use of students of the russian language vo dr go lord my reminiscences miniature edition printed on hand made paper limp antique los d k being some taken at lodge royal vo last days of mary an historical sketch with portrait and to d paul co s ii go lord continued notes of a tour from to vo j william m a the creed of science religious moral and social second edition crown vo j the social problem in its moral and political aspects vo j grey in sunny a tale of six weeks second edition small crown vo and other stories small crown vo rev h n m a sermons chiefly on the spiritual body the unseen world and the divine fourth edition crown vo s the temple of humanity and other sermons crown vo s chapters on various disputed questions crown vo tlie larger life studies in s crown vo the history of creation translation by professor e ray m a f r s with coloured plates and trees of the various groups of both plants and animals third edition post vo j the history of the of man with numerous illustrations post vo j a visit to post vo s d in science and teaching with a note by t h f r s crown vo of arthur b a of college cambridge crown vo s of home rule being articles on the irish question by various writers by james m p second edition crown vo is or is d cloth the history of the radical party in vo j rev h r ji current coin the devil crime emotion the sabbath fifth edition crown vo j arrow s in the air fifth edition crown vo j speech in season fifth edition crown vo thoughts for the times edition crown vo a list of rev ii r m a continued family prayers new edition vo ij d i complete in twelve volumes large post vo d each volume francis george leaves third and cheaper edition large crown vo dr winter with illustrations large crown vo s philosophy of fine art the introduction translated by crown vo y sir john v in ireland with his letters on irish affairs and some contemporary documents lai e crown vo printed on hand made paper los d philip and letters of by lee m a large crown vo js d y life and letters with an introduction by sir w w and portrait engraved on steel by c h fifth edition crown vo j d philosophy and religion from the of the late james by second edition crown vo the law and the coming of the law by margaret crown vo s the mystery of pain new edition vo is s greek text with a translation by j g vo s mary x dinners how to serve them with elegance and economy twentieth edition crown vo s f for persons of delicate and children fifth edition crown vo s d e very day meals being economical and wholesome for luncheon and supper seventh edition crown vo j d v f work amongst working men sixth edition crown vo j w two years in a with illustrations vo j the modern of translated and enlarged by d second edition with many additions and numerous illustrations vo j paul go s robert ma the	32
church of england and other religious a course of lectures delivered in the parish church of crown vo c how to make a saint or the process of in the church of england by the vo d hunter william c bits of old china small crown vo j h il the historical basis of in england large crown vo j earl the pleasures danger and uses of reading vo in paper cover i j im f among the indians of being sketches chiefly from the interior of british with illustrations and a map vo i j i the and treatment of translated and by m d vo j in a a ten days in indian seas large crown vo j e and the s legal third edition crown vo ds rev r c english and foreign with a dictionary of terms and illustrations small crown vo j d the story of the the of paul iv small crown vo j d l a s manual and s and s practical guide in their transactions abroad with of and legal terms a of terms in english french german italian and spanish tables of the money and measures of the principal commercial nations and their in british standards and forms of and acts vo h h f z s expedition a record of scientific in eastern africa and a general description of the natural languages and commerce of the district with maps and over illustrations by the author vo s f r in character crown vo p w ll d i old translated from the crown vo js d a list of rev m its nature its dangers and its considered crown vo js d or schemes of social improvement from sir thomas more to crown vo s y david f r g s education and crown vo j i k joseph trade in land by his widow th preface by the right hon john bright m p seventh edition crown vo also a cheaper edition without the but with a review of recent changes in the land laws of england by the right hon g q c m p cloth is d paper covers is w h an of english grammar for the use of students adapted to the london course and similar crown vo thomas a of the imitation of christ library edition or cloth dr j d the red line edition vo cloth extra s d the cabinet edition small vo cloth limp is cloth boards is d the miniature edition cloth limp mo is all the above may be had in various extra notes of a visit to the scenes in w hich his ufe spent with numerous illustrations by f r m d vo s rev i thomas a and the brothers of common life with portrait second edition crown vo js i joseph m d the law s of or the science and art of medicine second edition crown vo dr af d the perfect way in diet a a return to the natural and ancient food oi our race third edition small crown vo s charles j letters and memories of his life by his wife with two steel en portraits and on wood sixteenth cabinet edition crown vo i j also a people s edition in one volume with portrait crown vo j all saints day and other sermons by the rev w third edition crown vo js d true words for brave men a book for soldiers and sailors sixteenth thousand crown vo s d alexander a the new or wanderings in new and cheaper edition large crown vo j paul co s or the hope of the world y land and of political power as causing the of a state of want by the side of the vast supplies of nature crown va j school management including a general view of the work of education organization and discipline sixth edition crown vo s la s the rise and constitution of with a survey of education crown vo s lee rev f g y d c l tlie other world or glimpses of the supernatural a new edition crown i s right hon g and o lor d letters from an wm friend by the author of charles with a preface by the rev w h ij life of a by one third edition j d arthur m r a s tlie popular life of containing an answer to the lectures of with illustrations crown dr in or the with illustrations j h by his brother samuel with portraits and illustrations j margaret i a biography with portrait twenty ninth edition small crown s d george thoughts upon her life her books and herself second edition small crown is i thomas james with portrait crown charles pi biography by the author of st twelfth edition crown with portrait is c e lectures on general nursing delivered to the of the london hospital training school for nurses second edition crown j d william ro ve z z or the use and design of the old testament examined new edition w ith notices by george c m a hon of d edward letters and literary remains by his son the earl of with portraits illustrations ana i and it i a list of k c c francis a critical study crown vo j and times by translated by large post vo r on the first of translated from the italian by hill m a large crown vo i j the prince translated from the italian by n h t small crown vo printed on hand made paper boards dr y g the union was carried crown vo cloth u paper covers u lady the jews since bible times from the exile till the english	32
small crown vo i lectures on philosophy vo many voices a volume of from the religious writers of from the first to the sixteenth century with sketches crown vo cloth extra red edges x r n the great frozen sea a personal narrative of the voyage of the a during the expedition of with full page illustrations maps and sixth and cheaper edition crown vo df outline lessons on morals small crown vo j d m home education a course of lectures to ladies crown vo d matter and an examination of the of physical force by b l l small crown s h z body and being an essay concerning will in its and aspects vo i j natural causes and supernatural second edition crown vo j from ireland new and cheaper edition crown vo s the example for woman by permission to lady wood by the venerable mo limp cloth ix miller edward history and doctrines of or the so called catholic and church post vo x the in relation to the state i crown vo co s mills l and the state or work for the an inquiry into the causes and extent of enforced idleness with a statement of a remedy crown vo s m k history of ancient with numerous illustrations including plates in vo j e a grammar of the language as it is spoken in ancient in the and roman characters vo and mary letters and recollections of by m c m with portraits and two illustrations j rev w i history of the church of england from large crown js d in method and language being a manual of from the most important french works approved by the university of paris and the minister of public instruction j d c the springs of conduct an essay in large crown cloth d y the service of man an essay towards the religion of the future second edition e s d first book of with numerous illustrations new and cheaper edition crown s d my la a of the laws of england by a at law crown s d y h m a a of the scientific study of the law indian usage and judge made in s z fl characteristics from the writings of being from his various works arranged with the author s personal approval seventh edition with portrait n s a portrait of cardinal mounted for can be had s d francis william essays on diet small crown cloth limp new social by small crown arthur f g s g s chapters from the physical history of the earth an introduction to and with numerous illustrations crown j rev h the sisters of st mary at the gross sisters of the poor and their crown s d o i a list of the hen on poetry and poets class lessons on part l the first two books of the elements crown f td exercises on the of the public school latin new edition in three parts crown u h u the three parts can also be had bound together j frank f as i and and the victoria falls a s wanderings in the interior of south africa by c g gates b a with numerous illustrations and maps vo s o r wrongs and english with other essays crown vo j c a lost love small crown vo j d and his counsels to the sick small crown vo one and a half in a chronicle of small beer by either and both small crown vo j d the late rev lord sermons with and portrait crown vo dr and addresses crown vo h i great christ his own witness or his own six lectures second edition crown vo d our public schools westminster the crown vo s richard in the midst of i we are in death crown vo j the late william l of a visit to russia in selected and arranged by john h cardinal with portrait crown vo r d early christian a series of from paintings glasses and by the rev north d d and the rev m a with coloured plates j or with plain plates j library printed on hand made paper limp antique or cloth s js d each volume the poetical works of john milton s tales by a w paul go s continued letters and journals of swift selected and with a and notes by lane de s of an english from the first edition by richard the gospel according to mark and i uke from the prose writings of s with a preface and notes by lane and portrait english sacred sir s by milton s prose writings by the book of translated by the rev t k m a d d the of with preface and notes by comic by english the of john milton by mark with portrait after french i selected and by george saints bury with a miniature designed and by h g by mr john gay with by and an portrait from an unfinished oil sketch by sir select letters of with an introduction by richard the christian year thoughts in verse for the sundays and holy days throughout the year with miniature portrait of the rev j after a drawing by g r a s works complete in twelve volumes century selected and by with a miniature by r q opera by f a assistant master at with a after a design by l by s poems with an essay on his poetry by and a by io a list of library continued s by edward with a by after the death mask english selected by with	32
on india paper by a r a of the invitation of christ by thomas x a translation with on india paper from a design by w b poems selected from to lady with a preface by richard tt and a miniature joseph sketches historical and with practical information as to and etc and a chapter on railway reform crown vo dr i ie thoughts of translated from the text of by c an paul large crown vo with printed on hand made paper antique or cloth j j paul alexander a history of the national demand for frequent general small crown vo y d paul c a sketches printed on hand made paper bound in second edition crown vo js d rev day living a book for young men and women second edition crown vo j major and dictionary of the to j dr races of man and their distribution second edition large crown vo j an engineer s holiday notes of a round trip from long to new and cheaper edition large crown vo j d old world questions and new world answers second edition large crown vo js d plain thoughts for men eight lectures delivered at s hall during the london mission n vo cloth is d paper covers is price chapters on practical political economy being the substance of lectures delivered before the university of oxford new and cheaper edition crown vo s the venerable and exposed by the second edition vo j d paul go s pulpit the i old testament series by the rev j s m a and the very rev dean h d m m a d d by the rev t d d with by the very rev j f d d rev r a m a ll b rev f rev w m a an introduction to the study of the old testament by the d d f r s and to the by the right rev h cot d d and rev t m a eighth edition i vol j by the rev with by rev t rev d y un b a rev c a rev j and the rev h t fourth edition s by the rev m a with the rev r rev professor a cave and by rev ll b rev j a rev w b a rev s r ll b and rev fourth edition j numbers by the rev r ll b with by the rev professor w d d rev e s m a rev d young rev j and an introduction by the rev thomas m a fifth edition by the rev w l alexander d d with by rev c d d rev t b d rev r m m a rev d m a fourth edition x by rev j j m a with by rev s r ll b rev r rev e d d rev j b a rev w f m a and an introduction by the rev a m a fifth edition i j u judges and by the bishop of bath and wells and rev j d d with by rev a f m a rev w f m a rev w m and rev professor j m a fifth edition samuel by the very rev r p smith d d with by rev d d rev and rev b sixth edition kings by the rev joseph ll b with by the rev e de d d rev j b a rev a ll b rev j a and rev j fifth edition j i a list of pulpit the continued by the rev p c m a ll b with by rev j r m a rev r b a rev w b a rev f m a and rev richard j and by rev g m a with by rev j r m a rev r a ll b m a rev w s m a rev j a rev a b a rev w b a rev f rev w ll b rev b a rev g wood b a rev p c m a ll b and the rev j s m a sixth edition i vol i j xi by the rev g m a with by rev e johnson m a rev w b a rev w m and rev r b a second edition each vol i by the rev t k m a d d with by the rev w f m a rev a f m a rev s b a rev j b a and rev d young b a third edition j vol ii and by rev t k m a with by rev j r m a rev w f m a rev a f m a rev s b a rev d young b a and by the rev j j given d d d with by the rev j r m a rev a b a ll b rev c m a ll b rev j m a b d and rev d thomas d d j pulpit the new testament series st mark by very rev e d d dean of with by rev m a rev j j given d d d rev johnson m a rev a b a ll b rev a and rev r green fifth edition s the acts of the by the bishop of bath and wells with by rev p c m a ll b rev e johnson m a rev r a ll b rev r b a rev w b a third edition by the ven d d with by rev ex ll d rev david thomas d d rev d d d rev j r m a rev j b a rev r b a rev e m a and rev h b d third edition	32
j go s pulpit the and by the d d and rev e with by rev ex ll d rev david thomas d d rev d d rev r b a rev e m a rev j r m a rev r b a rev w f m a rev r m m a and rev t d d ij and by the rev w g d d rev b c m a and rev g g b a with by rev d thomas d d rev r m m a rev r b a rev w f m a rev t d d rev e s m a rev and rev u r thomas d d second edition ix and by the bishop of bath and wells rev dr and rev dr with by the rev b c m a rev r b a rev t d d rev w f m a rev w m and rev d thomas d d j and james by the rev j d d and rev e c s m a with by the rev c m a ll b and rev e c s and by the rev w jones rev c new rev d young b a rev j s bright rev t f b a and rev c m a ll b second edition j z r sermons for the church s seasons from advent to selected from the published sermons of the late edward d d crown vo j z universal history the oldest historical group of nations and the by g w vo i j ell ji of the island of with plan of and map of the island vo ij d i crown rev j the supernatural in nature a by free use of science third edition and enlarged j the mystery of miracles third and enlarged edition crown s the mystery of the universe our common faith i r the world to come immortality a physical fact crown j a list of t a study of its phenomena its laws its causes and its consequences second edition large crown vo the rev f iv m a i and letters of by the rev m a i two uniform with the sermons with steel portrait crown vo d il library edition in vo with portrait i j iii a popular edition in i vol crown vo s the late rev f w m a continued sermons four series small crown vo j each the human race and other sermons preached at oxford and new and cheaper edition small crown vo d notes on new and cheaper edition small crown vo y d lectures on st paul s to the a new edition small crown vo lectures and addresses with other literary remains a new edition small l vo j an analysis of s in by permission to the poet vo s the education of the human race translated from the german of j d the above works can also be had bound in half a portrait of the late rev f w mounted for can be had s d g y mental in animals with a essay on instinct by charles f r s vo s hunting of a sketches of sport on the northern cattle plains with illustrations royal vo i r by the rev w second edition with portraits crown s s origin of ideas translated from the fifth italian edition of the su r vo cloth lor each s vo i and il now ready each italian sketches with full page illustrations crown vo js d rule martin m a the life and times of st of and of the vo j paul co s richard seven the sacred number its use in scripture and its application to criticism crown or sa rev henry introduction to the science of language second edition large post vo s w centuries of english letters a selection of letters by writers from the period of the letters to the present time third edition large crown vo j s e of the lungs translated and for english by william henry m r c s vo lor d s works the edition cloth in cloth box s bound in cloth s works an index to by o crown s l by ll d with portraits j rev joseph womanhood its duties temptations and privileges a book for young women third edition crown y d shooting practical hints being a on the shot gun and its management by bore with illustrations s sister superior of the sisters of charity at the st hospital at translation by from the german of von cheap edition large crown james a by the author of with a preface by the rev and portrait large crown j d i also a cheap edition with portrait fourth edition crown d s me a ton d loyal of crown vo j smith edward m d ll b i consumption in its early and stages second edition crown j smith w ar our war ships a naval essay crown s spanish by the editor of many voices crown s specimens of prose style from to selected and with an essay by george large crown printed on paper antique or cloth s j a list of james and political and historical not relating to bacon vo i s d evenings a or and bacon with a notice by g s q c i j stray papers on and scenes from school life by b h second edition small crown vo rev g and the large crown vo js d cr r s translated and with extensive additions by w r d and a j green away f i c second and cheaper edition ro s being a sketch of the campaign	32
of this year by an officer who was there second edition crown vo james m a a history and a criticism second edition vo i r sunshine and sea a visit to the channel islands and coast of with from a photograph and illustrations crown vo s de et de et turn de et crown vo s on the worship and love of god treating of the birth of the earth paradise and the abode of living creatures translated from the latin crown vo j d de infinite et et thomas m a n vo s d s a translation small crown vo s c y a practical grammar crown vo s ta rev the an account of the origin and development of letters with numerous tables and vo ta tlie marriage ring with notes and by francis money small crown vo s d sharing between capital and labour to which is added a on the at the by and henry with remarks by crown s d paul co s y of life after the mind of christ two series crown vo s d each sir if diet in relation to age and activity vo cloth is d paper covers is paul f li and labour s d rev s a sunday mornings at prayers and sermons crown vo j dr a study of crown j count z christ s christianity translated from the russian large crown william e their origin objects and small crown is d paper covers is the late r c notes on the of our lord edition s cheap edition d notes on the miracles of our lord twelfth edition j cheap edition j d studies in the fifth edition los d brief thoughts and meditations on some passages in holy scripture third edition crown d of the ne ir testament tenth edition en s sermons ne ir and old crown s on the version of the ne ir testament second edition js on the to the seven churches in asia fourth edition d the sermon on the mount an drawn from the writings of st with an essay on his merits as an of holy scripture fourth edition enlarged d of faith three sermons preached before the university of cambridge in may s s d lectures on church history being the substance of lectures delivered at queen s college london second edition i s english past and present edition improved on the study of words nineteenth edition j a list of the r c select of english words used formerly in senses different from the present sixth edition and enlarged vo and their lessons seventh edition enlarged vo r poems collected and anew ninth edition vo j poems library edition small crown lor sacred latin poetry chiefly selected and arranged for use third edition corrected and improved vo j a household book of english poetry selected and arranged with notes fourth edition extra vo s d an essay on the life and genius of with from his life s a dream and great theatre of the world second edition and improved vo d in germany and other lectures on the thirty years war third edition enlarged vo r his life his lives and his morals second edition enlarged vo d remains of the late mrs richard being from her journals letters and other papers new and cheaper issue with portrait vo s daniel hack m d i c chapters in the history of the insane in the british with four illustrations large crown vo s z wa visiting and management during twenty five years small crown vo h and of shakespeare s vo i j each y ful ard time with illustrations crown vo j d col th egyptian war of a translation with map and plans large crown vo dr e w z of modem small crown vo y george a short history of ireland from the earliest times to the union with great britain with maps and third edition crown vo s paul go s wish to believe a discussion concerning the temper of mind in which a reasonable man should undertake religious in airy small crown vo ward william george on the philosophy of with an introduction by ward vo s francis m d on the of movement crown vo s d y w an old oak masters of painting with sixteen illustrations post d conventional cant its results and crown vo j william z w of english grammar for the use of schools second edition crown vo j george indian dictionary a of indian terms used in english and of such english or other non indian terms as have obtained special in india vo cloth col c r the duke of of france vo mrs r the christian brothers their origin and work with a sketch of the life of their founder the ven de la crown vo s dr alfred and dr a ar history of painting with numerous illustrations medium vol i painting in antiquity and the middle ages j boards gilt leaves j vol ii the painting of the j boards gilt leaves edward l m d a glass book of on the basis of the new system with illustrations crown vo j first book of designed to cultivate the observing powers of children with new and cheaper edition crown vo s d young of man s embodied ideas and its teaching to a list of the series i forms of water in clouds and rivers ice and by j ll d f r s with illustrations ninth edition ii and politics or thoughts on the application of the principles of natural selection and inheritance to political society by walter eighth edition iii by edward smith m d ll b f r s	32
with numerous illustrations ninth edition s iv mind and body the theories and their relation by alexander ll d with four illustrations eighth edition j v the study of by vi on the of energy by m a ll d f r s with illustrations seventh edition vii animal or walking swimming and fl by j b m d f r s etc with illustrations third edition viii responsibility in mental disease by henry m d fourth edition ix the ne w by professor j p with illustrations ninth edition s x the science of law by professor sixth edition xi animal a on and by professor e j with illustrations third edition xii the doctrine of descent and by professor with illustrations seventh edition xiii the history of the conflict between religion and science by j w m d ll d twentieth edition xiv their nature uses etc by m c m d ll d by the rev m j m a f l s with numerous illustrations third edition xv the effects of light and by dr with illustrations fourth edition xvi the life and growth of language by professor william fifth edition paul co s xvii money and the of exchange by w m a f r s eighth edition j xviii the nature of light with a general account of physical by dr with illustrations and a table of in fourth xix animal and by p j van with illustrations third edition xx by professor with illustrations fourth edition xxi the five senses of man by professor with illustrations fifth edition xxii the theory of sound in its relation to music by professor with numerous illustrations third edition studies in analysis by j f r s with six illustrations of and numerous on wood fourth edition j xxiv a history of the growth of the steam engine bv professor r h with numerous illustrations fourth edition j xxv as a science by alexander ll d sixth edition xxvi the human species by professor a de fourth edition modern with to art and industry by n with original illustrations second edition the an introduction to the study of by professor t h with illustrations fourth edition the brain as an organ of mind by h m d with numerous illustrations third edition xxx the theory by translated by g f c s fourth edition the natural conditions of existence as they affect animal life by with maps and third edition general of muscles and nerves by j third edition with illustrations j sight an of the principles of and vision by joseph le ll d second edition with illustrations a list of a study by james third edition what they are and what they teach by professor j w f r s with illustrations on wood third edition suicide an essay on comparative moral by h second edition with j the brain and its functions by j with illustrations second e tion and science an essay by third edition j the sun by professor young with illustrations second edition j xl bees and a record of observations on the habits of the social by sir john m p with illustrations eighth edition animal intelligence by g j ll d f r s fourth edition j the and theories of modern by j b third edition j diseases of the memory an essay in the positive by th third edition j man before by n with illustrations fourth edition j the science of politics by third edition j by robert h scott fourth edition with numerous illustrations the organs of speech and their application in the formation of articulate sounds by von with j a view of logic from the practical side by alfred second edition origin of cultivated plants by de l fish star fish and sea being a on primitive nervous systems by g j with illustrations li the common sense of the by the late william second edition with figures paul go s physical its modes and principles by francis m d f r c p professor of comparative and r c s e with illustrations i by robert with illustrations the in their relation to times by with literature by h ll d s and other movements by john with figures second edition and by e l with illustrations i and distribution of animals by professor a with weather a popular of the nature of weather changes from day to day by the hon with illustrations animal by alfred and charles manual of british with descriptions of all the species of hitherto found in britain included in the family and illustrations of the by william f l s law with materials for a code of law by professor s the origin of through insect agency by g military works col c b military for officers i military and by col f j and major h g fifth edition with plates small crown vo r xl the elements of modern practically applied to english by col sixth edition with plates and maps small crown vo j iii field its organization and by major c r a with plates third edition small crown vo ds d of col c b r a c iv the elements of military first part system of administration by major j w small crown vo d v military j i its and practice by major c r a third edition small crown vo d vi cavalry in modem war by col f small crown vo dr vii field works their construction and application by the editor col c b r a small crown gen j z and their influence in v ar crown major c a a system of field training small crown cloth limp x campaign of december a study for officers of with maps and plans crown c c minor with maps and plans seventh edition crown col c military	32
s d h suggestions for the military training of a company of crown s d rf z c the fighting of the future is col the s book for peace and war fourth edition throughout mo red with pencil y d notes on cavalry etc by a officer with i s h cm g the dress horses and of and staff crown is col h the defence and attack of positions and third edition and corrected crown cl stone f j studies from the war of with sketches and maps ar h k citizen soldiers essays towards the improvement of the force crown s d paul go s poetry k ff the castle of a tale in verse crown vo s adam of st f the poetry of adam of st victor from tke with into english in the original and short notes by s m a crown vo printed on hand made paper boards s r the chronicle of a satire small crown vo alexander william d d bishop of s holiday and other poems crown a a c poems of english heroism from to from to small crown william o m a of rural life in the dialect new edition complete in one crown s xi rev h home songs for quiet hours fourth and cheaper edition cloth s z s key notes small crown j blunt r the wind and the s d the i of fifth edition cloth extra gilt top h c simple english poems english literature for junior classes in four parts parts i ii and iii d each and part iv is complete w c poems cheap edition with small crown s the wonder working life is a dream the of st translated by post lor text with translation by j j second edition crown s z iv the seven plays in english verse crown js d to spanish text with translation into pre ce and notes by james y crown a list of continued a tragedy translated from the spanish with introduction and notes by james y crown vo printed on hand made paper of a poem in by m d c vo is d and other poems translated from spanish and german by j y crown vo s e birds and babies with illustrations i mo gilt j d s translated in the of original by f k h i j de k selection from his songs in english verse by william small crown r y english collected and arranged by small crown j de r y poetical works i the search after etc j ii the legends of st etc j iii alexander the great etc bs the of queen and other legends of ireland s heroic a e small crown legends of the saxon saints small crown dr legends and records of the church and the small crown j arthur gods and men to js d old world and other verses seventh edition gilt top dr at the sign of the i fifth edition gilt top s z s with introduction and notes large post is d tt a in french fields new edition s d ancient and legends of with an by second edition cloth extra gilt top miss small crown j d the com law j a w poems by his son the rev of st john s crown i r paul go s verse by w j and r h crown vo cloth s each i to burns ii iii of the nineteenth century iv dramatic scenes and ers v and edward crown vo s john three series small crown vo each new poems crown d in and other poems second edition gilt top s rev a the vision of the and other poems crown a christmas small crown s in hours of leisure crown j c a dramatic poem new edition small crown a dramatic poem new edition small crown s a dramatic poem small crown s e h a and other small crown hole w g and other poems y d ts poetical by w t large crown printed on hand made paper with portrait in or cloth j king edward a lover small to s king mrs t ia ninth edition and notes small crown j a book of dreams second edition crown j d mrs r s de a song of and other poems with small crown d in blue china a la mode with by e a abbey second edition cloth extra gilt top j j a z on sea and shore small crown a list of golden and other poems small crown vo right hon mr with other verses small vo j living english poets with by walter second edition large crown vo printed on hand made paper or cloth s j london tenth edition with portrait vo cloth extra gilt top j love in idleness a volume of poems with an by w b scott small crown vo col h an old english poem translated into modem second and edition small crown vo a modem ideal a dramatic poem small crown vo m a and e h s songs and vo the earl of w new edition with illustrations i mo j td cloth extra gilt edges poetical works of new and cheaper with portrait complete in each vol i contains songs of two worlds twelfth edition vol ii contains the of twenty first edition vol iii contains and the of life seventh edition vol iv contains songs and fifth edition songs of britain third edition vo j the of with illustrations after the drawings of the late george k to cloth extra gilt leaves s the of	32
edition to cloth extra gilt leaves td the le birthday book by s s with after a design by the late george r mo cloth extra gilt edges j cloth limp u e d the house of the and of translated into english verse crown vo the maidens of crown vo j d y th e romance of a poem in five crown vo j cl verses small crown vo j c ff a modem ai and other poems small crown vo the hon k little child s monument third edition small crown d the house of new edition small crown dr the red flag and other poems new edition small crown s songs of the heights and crown dr c grace small crown y d c an w the song of translated into english verse new and cheaper edition crown j the rhyme of the lady of the rock and ho w it second edition small crown j d s monument and other poems second edition crown dr under the and dramatic with portrait crown s y y and of the valley crown j francis d fires of green wood small crown j d rare poems of the th and th centuries by w j crown the of translated into english verse small crown poems small crown r d a forest small crown d robinson a mary f a handful of y d the translated from with new poems crown j a drama done in english verse by j a w hunter m a crown js d y m ft a tragedy in five acts small crown j a list cf scott e z the of translated into english verse small crown vo y poems of a life second edition small crown vo s xl and other poems small crown vo s d smith iv loves of a tale of small crown vo s d the i o the small crown vo j small crown vo the seven plays in english verse translated by crown vo j small crown vo s d john va crown vo os s delivered translated by sir john james two volumes printed on hand made paper boards large crown vo s sir f works complete in five volumes crown vo j philip van vo d the virgin widow etc j the j cl dr and other poems crown j forest songs small crown the true tragedy of a drama y cl a dramatic poem extra in small crown s d sister and other poems small crown de la and other poems small crown td small crown thoughts small crown y d hymns sacred songs of fifty years to the queen large post d in a day a drama small crown j d a drama small crown a lawyer s leisure small crown j d paul wood poems small crown vo j d birthday book the by and violet limp cloth i d cloth extra s and other poems small crown vo a heart s life and other poems small crown vo j the ai of and other poems with portrait small crown vo novels and tales all but a chronicle of life by pen f r c s with illustrations second edition crown vo ds banks mrs g z god s providence house new edition crown vo y d mary t and a story crown vo s d by an crown vo s y the silence of dean fifth edition with crown vo s hunter nay the crime of christmas day a tale of the latin quarter by the author of my and my daughter is hunter hay and walter and my daughter new and cheaper edition with crown vo s oft the a novel with second edition crown vo r edward k secret of two lives crown vo j d alexander l and worse a novel translation by w w crown vo s in the wrong paradise and other stories second edition crown vo s grant a novel second edition with crown vo s home again with crown vo f castle a novel second edition with crown vo s a list of g with portrait of the author engraved on steel eighth edition crown vo ts thb of seventh edition with crown vo j st george and st michael fifth edition with piece crown vo j what s mine s mine second edition with crown dr annals of a quiet neighbourhood sixth edition with crown j the parish a to annals of a quiet neighbourhood fourth edition with crown f an story fourth edition with crown df thomas fourth edition with crown j paul surgeon fourth edition with crown dr colonel s wife a novel new and cheaper edition with crown j grace an irish novel crown j w an eastern narrative third edition crown s sha z castle a story of youthful days new and cheaper edition crown j through sl needle s a story new and cheaper edition with crown ts col c s l m r la l a novel with crown s a tale of the war with crown s with crown s a noble queen with crown s the of a with crown s a tale with crown s within sound of the sea with crown s paul go s ts books for the young brave men s footsteps a book of example and anecdote for young people by the editor of men have risen with illustrations by c ninth edition crown vo j d it s and babies with illustrations second edition i mo cloth gilt s and adventures of our school field club with illustrations new and cheaper edition crown vo df spent lives a series of modern new and cheaper edition crown vo	32
ng to people who had never been to market ha never hunted with the hounds had never dined seriously and with an agreeable sense of dignity and importance at the tables of the neighbouring county had never been to a meeting at the s or seen mr in gray breeches and representing all the majesty of the english law to apple stealing youths on the bench of at that life i say should be in any way important or desirable to persons with these things and from these high privileges seemed almost incredible to the mind but if the sympathies of were not wide they were certainly deep there not being many events in this quiet neighbourhood to observe the few events that did occur were very thoroughly ch i a sketch in black and white talked over and thought over the joys of gossip were by no means unknown the satisfaction arising from the discovery of an acquaintance s mistakes and was a form of satisfaction freely indulged in a delicate movement of self complacency in face of the sins and misfortunes of friends and relations is at least as common in the quiet country as in the busy town and the judgments of were not one whit more just or merciful than human judgments are usually wont to be yet men and women struggled to be pure and unselfish they nursed the sick and fed the hungry they loved and forgave they lived in fear and died fortified by eternal hope in this unimportant little parish as elsewhere in this world at the time of which i write a cloud had hung over for many long weeks far away among olive grounds and orange gardens by the shores of the distant a man was fighting gallantly but hopelessly against the great enemy death and a beautiful woman sat watching in dread and strange amazement the progress of the bitter struggle at home in the stately old kind hearts waited and hoped against hope the news was bad enough in the autumn it grew worse and worse through the winter months and in the softer days of february when the frost had given place to mist and fog over the heavy clay lands and the first pushed their way up through the black garden mould mr and mrs learned that robert was dead and mrs that elizabeth their niece who had left them as a bride not two years ago was coming back to them a widow every one i suppose has wasted half an hour at some period during the course of his childhood in dropping pebbles into a still pond or pool and watching the graceful rings which after the first little splash spread themselves in ever circles over the face of the water a good sized had so to speak dropped into the social pool at on that february day in consequence of which a series of gentle of surprise interest and pity spread themselves over the quiet surface of the county society for some ten or fifteen miles round country in after dinner talk over their pitied the handsome young creature left alone in the world with no husband to care for or child to cheer her they too the trouble that had fallen on mr for everybody whose opinion was worth anything held that a more thoroughly good fellow or a better man across country notwithstanding his sixty and odd years could not be found and though it must be owned that in proportion as a man likes his niece he will probably dislike the man she it was known that certain very dear hopes depended on elizabeth s marriage which mr would find it hard to the clergy too were full of solicitude concerning both the uncle and the niece for the of was held in high by the majority of ch i a sketch in black and white his brethren perhaps his reputation was greater from the social than from the professional mr was the last representative of an old family and had married early in life a lady whose connections held a high position among the local aristocracy her brother sir of was a man of considerable standing in the north of the county the indeed dated from those stormy and times when the king s parliament sat at oxford a fact which the never ignored when a chance of referring to it arose in ordinary conversation mr therefore was regarded as supplying that secure link between the lay and worlds which is too often missing and when mr the newly of who had come into the neighbourhood hot from town work full of views and of a desire that the clergy should stand shoulder to shoulder and defy an indifferent and generation of annoyed by some rather sharp observations of mr s at a meeting ventured to describe that reverend gentleman as a fox hunting and to compare him to the oft quoted he discovered very shortly that he had made a terrible mistake even mr of a mild fair and rather stout person who in the interests of four daughters had always appeared very anxious to mr reminded him that the bishop stayed quite as often at as he did at the s and that it was hardly becoming in mrs a new comer to so respected a member of one of the oldest families in the county it must also be noted that a death in itself is generally interesting marriages demand time to develop symptoms of happiness or misery before they afford very much subject for conversation are too common to create very much excitement as a rule but a death immediately supplies matter for meditation which appears to be fairly agreeable to all except perhaps the very young the details of illness and reminiscences of friends or near relations who have suffered from the same	32
malady always strangely enough in a very form the feelings of the the amount of the estate of the deceased all afford matter for thought and conversation to some few minds the more spiritual and everlasting aspects of the matter may present themselves a small will lose themselves in speculations concerning the great hereafter and in obstinate regarding that mysterious and impenetrable curtain which the hand of death suddenly draws between us and those who have been bone of our bone and flesh of our flesh whose looks and habits whose speech whose very clothes are among the most familiar of our daily impressions but undoubtedly the and the present themselves much more readily to most people than the abstract and the infinite in the dull country neighbourhood around people as a rule lived long wearing out is next to impossible in such an atmosphere and ch i a sketch in black and white out that process so terrible in theory to young and ardent minds is in truth a very business with much quiet usefulness and in the majority of cases with living to a good old age most of the neighbouring clergy who as slim youths fresh from the had married years ago and settled in their pleasant houses were now well on in middle life but though they had grown in figure with much sitting over sermons though some had a slight disposition to pains when the winter cold set in and though all observed more wrinkles and gray hairs than were altogether pleasant as they gazed into their looking glasses during the operation of in the morning no one of them all had the faintest intention of leaving his children or his worthy wife a widow for many years to come therefore that so young a man as robert should die seemed it must be confessed somewhat strange and alarming several gentlemen had their with a view to keeping out march winds lest any chest should be more susceptible of cold than its owner had hitherto suspected mr jones the went so far as to appear in a new and pair of much to the distress of a young neighbour of sporting who had volunteered to drive him over to the meeting of the board of at and who felt that his neat dog cart and high stepping were most painfully by his companion s mrs personal appearance people who know what is what do not wear or in in the winter you should a little with your hands under your coat tails in front of a roaring fire conscious that your shooting boots and defy any amount of wet and mud and talk in robust and cheerful tones of the fine weather however intolerable the cold or penetrating the damp may be outside if any thoughts concerning the of disease or the of human life you it is wonderful how an extra glass of after luncheon will restore the naturally hopeful tone of your mind and enable you to feel a comfortable assurance that you are good for many years yet on the whole men s emotions are more simple and kindly than those of women their minds are so to speak like ordinary houses with one front and one back staircase you know they must go up by one or the other to get to the upper rooms while women s minds may be compared to those queer old country which are full of little unnecessary flights of stairs you can never be sure whether you are walking on the level or not meantime the owner too often out upon you suddenly from some wholly unexpected doorway or landing having arrived there you know not how men were simply sorry for mrs and were extremely glad when any acquaintance whom they happened to meet told them that they were looking remarkably well but mixed and confused sensations interesting to note and wholly ch i a sketch in black and white to the bulk of the male population reigned in the female breasts in and around to begin with there was something altogether about so young a widow worthy mothers of growing sons and daughters naturally regarded trouble and loss as dignified they had a certain satisfaction in remembering that they had known elizabeth as a little thing who could hardly speak plain had advised mrs concerning the length of her sleeves and the best way of soothing her when she suffered from various childish at the same time a delicate of annoyance tempered their sympathetic interest inasmuch as this young creature appeared to them somewhat in the light of a prodigal who at her still tender age had managed to run through the stock of experiences that last most women their whole lives she seemed in some way to have got quite an unfair start of them to have assumed rank to have the advantages and to demand the consideration generally accorded to mature life without its of cares its gray hairs and faded complexion its sense of bustle and sense of weariness its anxious thoughts regarding the professions of sons and the marriages of daughters some few ladies went even further they had a lurking feeling that there was a touch of not for justice in poor robert s early death they would have been if any one had them with this feeling most of us lo mrs part i permit ourselves a certain latitude in thought which appears of all morals and only worthy of the most abandoned character when honestly put into words we are all at times remarkably of our own and hardness of heart but it is only fair to admit that there certainly are few things more to the members of a small society where unmarried men are scarce and unmarried women plentiful than the sudden discovery that some young girl for whom the general of	32
public opinion has selected one husband should meanwhile have selected quite another husband for herself especially is this when her choice has fallen upon a whose affections were reckoned perfectly disengaged and who had been regarded both by watchful mothers and maidens as wholly to the good in their matrimonial calculations elizabeth had been guilty of this serious offence against her neighbours some eighteen months before the time of which we now speak and the silent grudge which some persons owed her for her unexpected marriage had hardly yet died away public opinion had concluded that elizabeth would marry a certain young mr edward who by way of managing his aunt miss maria s estate for her spent two very pleasant at he was a clean young gentleman possessing better qualities of the heart than of the head he hunted three days a week and spent nearly all the ch i a sketch in black and white ii rest of his time at the so that it may be questioned whether miss maria s estate very sensibly from the of his eye or power of his hand elizabeth developed very much outwardly during those two years from a dark overgrown girl silent and shy whose like length of limb and of movement were a distinct trial to her aunt mrs s delicate of grace and propriety she into an unusually handsome young woman she was tall but with an easy carriage and a figure so well that her height did not strike one as she had a clear brown skin and the curly mouse coloured hair which so often go with straight well cut features and eyes of the dark gray that under excitement seem to into actual violet such women i think do not develop very early either or mentally the stage is a long one with them they are often at thirty than at twenty they are almost invariably honest loyal and generous but a little dangerous you may live with one of them for years that you know all about her and some fine day your poor reasonable slow moving masculine mind will be greatly distracted and confused by finding that she has taken an entirely new departure that some emotion or early impression has awakened within her that she has made a discovery and to her plan of life on new principles she is neither a nor a she does not ask you mrs to change but she does ask you to permit her to become something quite other than that which she has been heretofore a man suffers a good deal under these circumstances if discoveries are about he would prefer that other men s wives should make them rather than his own but notwithstanding elizabeth s increasing beauty edward disappeared rather suddenly from the stage his aunt merely said that family business demanded his return to his father s place in the north one morning his hunters arrayed in much clothing went over in charge of two to station were got with some kicking and stamping on their part a good deal of and some on the part of the and not a little on that of the assistant into a string of and away while their owner in a first class carriage meditated over an excellent cigar that even the best of fathers might prove a nuisance at times and that though obedience was undoubtedly a great virtue it was too often a singularly disagreeable one to practise about two months after edward s departure elizabeth met robert for the first time he had come down from london to spend a few days with an old college friend the of s keeping the same gentleman whose feelings were subsequently so much outraged by mr jones s and robert saw elizabeth several times at different houses in the neighbourhood and fell very much ch i a sketch in black and white in love with the tall handsome young girl he found a number of excellent reasons for staying a month instead of a few days with his old college friend he came back to s keeping again in june and early in september he and elizabeth were married any one living ten miles of is not likely to forget the amount of talk which this event gave rise to i groan in spirit still when i recall it but the history of the young couple s married life alas was as sad as it was short about a year later robert fell ill signs of consumption showed themselves he was ordered abroad for the winter the disease however developed itself with terrible rapidity and only too soon there could be no reasonable doubt as to the final result even at the time of the wedding a keen observer in looking at robert might have doubted whether he would be a man there was something a trifle too refined and delicate in the cutting of his face a suspicious in the and a certain languor of manner and bearing at times which many people thought a little affected and insolent but which really a distinct want of vitality fortunately however for the comfort and peace of the world in general keen are rare most people are very willing to take for granted that a man of two and thirty who is an excellent and has the reputation of having been rather a celebrated oar at college must have as a matter of course many years before him it was mrs simply from the social point of view that the world held up its hands in a flutter of surprise at the marriage robert was only a young giving no particular promise of a great career in his profession mr could not be much pleased it was said at his niece s choice with his feeling about the landed interest mrs in virtue of having been a of was known	32
to have a strong appreciation of what is generally spoken of as family robert was a gentleman some people indeed thought he was disposed to be rather too fine a gentleman considering his position but he had no local standing he had some money but elizabeth would have plenty of money of her own in time it was hinted that he was too fond of books and pictures and music to be wholly satisfactory literature and the arts regarded from any other than a purely amateur point of view are reckoned a little dangerous in the marriage in short appeared very incomprehensible and somewhat of the nature of a mistake it was improbable that the wished at all keenly to robert and oh what would not some other people have given to possess him mrs for instance during a few short weeks had cherished the fond illusion that her second daughter whose youth was passing all too quickly had made some impression upon the young poor mrs would naturally have been very thankful to see one of her children safely provided for mrs ch i a sketch in black and white had not an easy life of it she rose early and late took rest working in her home and in her husband s parish even on her bed at night when certain sounds beside her to the ponderous of her means to make a small income cover ever increasing expenses thinking how to clothe and growing boys and girls who because their father was a clergyman of the church of england and consequently a gentleman must be as well dressed and well informed must go to the same public schools and must be encouraged to have the same expensive tastes and the same gentleman like indifference to the of small cash as sir s or squire s sons and daughters mr s income was about all told with for parish expenses and a heavy life sir s might be set down at nearly twice as many thousands but all gentlemen are equal a blessed truth the mother of most bad debts and many broken hearts if robert had married mrs felt that her faith in the goodness of providence would have been sensibly increased alas in the event she only learnt that unto every one that hath shall be given a hard saying and one which had always appeared to her in urgent need of the attention of the of the new testament such then were briefly the facts of elizabeth s life up to the present time and the effect which the news of her husband s early death had upon the world of and its neighbourhood t mrs part i chapter ii a land where all things always seem d the same l meanwhile elizabeth the subject of all this thought and conversation was travelling through the clear winter night and the bright winter day farther and farther from the vines and of the south of france and nearer and nearer to our damp and misty the life she had lived for the last two years with all its interests and hopes its pleasures and its doubts with all its promises and its restless wishes lay buried for ever by the southern sea while the hurrying train seemed to be bearing her swiftly forward towards another state of existence as she lay huddled up among and cushions on the seat of the elizabeth felt too tired to think or to sleep or to sorrow she was only conscious of the muffled roar of the rushing train as it sped conscious that when they reached paris she must drag herself up from these comfortable cushions which her brother in law frank had arranged for her and help to claim her luggage conscious that there would be ch ii a sketch in black and white another space of noisy quiet in the train followed by a weary struggle to get on board the boat at that london would appear as a smoky vision and then that at last she would reach the final stage of her journey about two hours later the great green pastures divided by their high hedges would stretch out on either side of the railway track long rows of elm trees would rise against the low gray sky sober looking carts would along muddy by roads anxious yet stolid people laden with innumerable baskets and would struggle in and out of third class carriages dragging alarmed big little boys and girls after them elizabeth seemed to see it all the journey with all its varying scenes stretched out before her like a great picture and she almost fancied that when the train stopped at and her travelling was over some six and thirty hours hence she would find herself a little brown faced maid again whom tall uncle would take up tenderly in his arms and kiss and aunt would gently for her inability to sit still and whom mrs smart would alternately and while she her by nursery fire in the evening when we are young it is so difficult to believe in sorrow and disaster so much easier to think that somehow we shall wake up and find the dear old days again with kind people who will pet us and take care of us and tell us what to do and what to leave undone elizabeth was young and she was too tired just now to that in future i j c i mrs part i she would have to be her own guide and lying there as the train ran on mile after mile northward it seemed to her that trouble and painful experience and the awful mysterious shadow of death were being left far behind on the shores of the and that at she would find the sweet monotony of books and once more but one thing disturbed this peaceful	32
dream the presence of her brother in law frank he sat in the corner of the enveloped in a heavy while the light of the lamp fell with clearness on the top of his travelling cap the end of his nose and the point of his beard no amount of dreaming would dream away that solid english figure and he sat there as the sign and seal of the truth of all those painful and mysterious facts which poor elizabeth would so willingly have in frank sitting in the corner of the railway carriage pondered quietly over many things life had dealt pleasantly enough with him so far at one and thirty he found himself strong able and ready for much enjoyment in many different ways he had an enormous capacity for friendship or as he preferred to have it called but he was too healthy both in mind and body to be fully satisfied with so spiritual a form of relationship as the existence of mrs frank and two slim curly headed babies clearly proved underneath certain theories and his nature rested upon a firm basis of common sense which ch ii a sketch in black and white inspired one with considerable faith in his judgment and comfort in his presence his elder brother s death was the first real break in his life the first real trouble that he had experienced but his naturally sensible mind accepted death as one of the necessary conditions of existence and his sorrow therefore was wholly with those bitter feelings of injury and must i add of anger which alone make grief intolerable such were common to the lot of all men therefore his individual lot was merely subject to the general law he took comfort in the thought and was glad to find that he could take comfort in it he was a kind and sensible rather than a heroic soul he quite appreciated heroes but for his own part he preferred the common walks of life and its average emotions to mountain tops in cloud and storm and passions torn to frank did not very deeply on his own feelings under existing circumstances he was thinking if the truth must be told over the leading points of an article on the present relations of france and italy for the weekly paper of which he was sub editor of the pleasure of getting back to his own home and to those engaging babies and of the probable future of his handsome young sister in law in whom he thought he detected a tendency towards the of feeling and strange of conduct which were so foreign to his own well balanced temperament was reached at last it was dusk and the west wind rushed through the bare branches i mrs part i of the high standing elm trees in the village street some round eyed children clustered on the and shepherd judge clothed in a stout linen and trousers which were stained with much handling of sheep and working in heavy clay to the dirty yellow of his native soil a moment to watch the carriage turn in at the gates then fearing that he had displayed more interest in passing events than was wholly dignified in a man who had the care of some hundred and fifty five on his hands this being season he turned sharply on the staring children and them for standing there in the road and their when they d be a deal better and after whistling to his two lean half bred dogs walked off with a very self righteous back to spend a chilly night in to the needs of his flock elizabeth dazed and weary stepped out of the carriage and was aware of the comfortable ruddy light of a glowing fire in the well remembered hall aware of a glimmer of white and of the delicate rose scent of mrs s garments as that gentle woman with of welcome and pity folded her in her arms aware that mr stooped and kissed her saying how d ye do my dear i m glad and then that somehow his voice broke and he added a god bless you and turned away aware of the presence of the old butler who took her with a ch ii a sketch in black and white hand gazing at her meanwhile with an appropriate and expression of countenance she was aware too for she was in that excited and highly nervous condition of mind and body in which one becomes vividly sensible of everything that happens around one though it may convey no connected meaning to the mind that mr had regained all his clearness of utterance and of manner when he turned to frank and thanked him courteously for having brought elizabeth safely home and that frank replied with the easy good humoured indifference of a man who is conscious that he is being for having performed a wholly duty you will come upstairs at once dear child you must be terribly tired said mrs drawing elizabeth away mrs cultivated the old fashioned notion that people should sit a great deal in their when they were in sorrow her own greatest trouble in life perhaps was that she had never had what most people would reckon to be any real trouble at all she had never had one of those comfortable and troubles which give you the right of remaining upstairs and pulling the blinds down she had a feeling that it was almost for elizabeth to have travelled all that long way back to england so early in her at least now she should have her full privilege of silence and seclusion and that privilege should begin at once tm afraid i must say good bye to you mrs part i then said frank coming forward i must go up to town by	32
the first train to morrow if mr will kindly let me and i you won t be down elizabeth turned to him quickly she suddenly perceived that in parting with frank she was one of the last visible links that bound her to her husband and to the larger and life that her marriage had brought her already she was sensible of the gently influence that her aunt had always exercised over her she knew that the atmosphere was exactly the same as ever monotonous well regulated she knew also that she herself was greatly changed and she trembled in that she must bid farewell to the liberty of thought and action that she had enjoyed during the last two years those few words of mrs s had quite roused her from the state of exhausted acquiescence in which she had arrived she felt that she was being appropriated that a part was being given her to play and she already and turned with longing and regret to her brother in law can t you stay till the afternoon she said i don t want you to go frank you have been very good to me she laid her hand upon his arm the light of the lamp hanging above them fell full on her face which looked unusually pale framed by her black bonnet her mouth was tremulous with fatigue and a disposition to tears ch ii a sketch in black and white frank standing there strong comfortable and successful felt a great compassion for this woman with her black garments and sweet tired eyes it was difficult for him however to express his sentiments it would have taken time to put them into appropriate words he wanted his dinner and was conscious too that the might slightly resent and not without reason his taking upon himself the office of elizabeth s just at the first moment of her coming home so he stooped towards her and kissed the pale face saying you had much better go and rest quietly now i am afraid i must leave early to morrow but you see it will always be easy for me to run down here for a night if you want me i suppose it is never wholly pleasant to a man getting on in years to see a younger man than himself kiss however innocently a pretty woman it suggests not always favourable to age any way this little episode somewhat upon the and he ordered rather sharply to show mr his room as dinner would be very shortly ready while poor elizabeth rests from the of her journey in the decent seclusion that her aunt held so dear it may be well to give some more detailed account of mr s surroundings and of his views concerning the world in which he lived is one of those delightful old houses that are so common in the south of mrs it is built of the soft dull and and of which remind one of the rich subdued colours of the falling elm leaves in autumn it has many and steep pitched roofs with ridge of well stone the old red and many windows with heavy stone inside are deep window seats lovely places in which to sit when the low western sun throws long shadows from the great round elm trees across the wide stretching pastures where sturdy black cattle and herds of red with stupid white faces move slowly through the rich damp grass the house is full of low rooms opening one out of the other long passages with quaint little up and down unexpected and corners innumerable and a system of incomprehensible to all but the very oldest it is a dark house perhaps low and black oak floors and have a habit like many eminently respectable people and things of being a trifle gloomy but at the time of which we speak everything carpets curtains and furniture had all grown old and faded together everything looked harmonious if not gay everything looked calm serious and middle aged if you found it sad and did not like it well you could go elsewhere was far too secure of its social position to care very much about pleasing chance visitors here had brought his bride pretty nearly forty years ch ii a sketch in black and white here they had lived ever since in comfort and prosperity but one thing had been denied them there had been no sound of children s footsteps racing up and down the long passages or playing on wet half holidays in the great mysterious no handsome boy had come home to his mother from his first day s hunting flushed with pride and full of stories of his own remarkable and marvellous adventures only the little brown faced niece who had come there almost as a baby grew up in the quiet stately old house mr loved the child tenderly she was the daughter of his only brother mrs did her duty by elizabeth but there was always the want of the tie of common blood between them they could never entirely understand or with each other the living of with its various cottages and farms has belonged to the family for a length of time which the local imagination scarcely to measure for a good many generations now the eldest son of each successive has as a matter of course chosen the church for his profession and reigned in due time as squire and clergyman of to some minds in these critical and enlightened days a fact such as this presents food not only for thought but for mr the of for instance very in the face of such an appalling example of indifference to the higher of the calling mrs part l if had been sunk in ignorance and a for and open sin mr would	32
why life which ought to be so sweet and which she was so capable of enjoying was so early and spoiled for her she had but raised the cup to her lips when fate had dashed it from her hand and now it lay shattered and broken at her feet while all her promised joy was upon the ground at times she felt almost ch iii a sketch in black and white with her dead husband as though he had left her to battle her way through this difficult world alone sometimes on the other hand she would suffer a of regret and sorrow in the night when there was no sound to break the stillness but that of the wind moaning about the of the old house or the distant bark of a watch dog at some lone farm house down in the quiet meadows elizabeth would start from her sleep oppressed by a sudden sense of loneliness and terror she would seem to see once more the lofty room shaded with closed shutters from the glare of the fierce southern sunlight the sister of charity in her dark dress her smooth peaceful face framed by her great white cap moving softly about and the sick man who through long weary sunny days and restless nights had lain with a fine and steadfast courage facing the awful angel of death and himself to bid farewell not without bitter pain and sorrow but without a murmur of to this kindly and familiar world and to the beautiful young wife whom he loved so well remembering these things elizabeth would stretch out longing arms into the stillness and darkness and then remembering too that here that deep debt of love could never be repaid would fling herself down upon the pillows again and sob in lonely misery till the windows of her room began to glimmer faintly through the curtains while the still gray dawn broke over the damp and misty pastures and the birds began to about the mrs part i and comfortable domestic sounds told that the old house was awake once more and getting ready for the work of another quiet day but elizabeth was perhaps a little unfortunately she could not play at feeling because it was the pretty thing under the circumstances when these storms of emotion came down upon her she struggled out of them as quickly as she could she still wanted to be happy and though she felt bruised and wounded her life was yet whole in her she would pause awhile and take breath and then try conclusions with the world again as the days lengthened the became noisy over domestic matters in the big elm trees by the church the breaking up the flocks in which they had danced and together during the winter months began to haunt water and hollow trees the earth smelt fresh and sweet under the soft wind and spring flowers began to cheer the bare of the garden beds it was pleasant then to elizabeth to wander out with the over his plough lands and pastures while and the two fo rushed wildly about discovering imaginary rats and in every hedge and the brown full of years and dignity trotted slowly at his master s heels mr had a feeling of delicacy in talking to his niece of her own troubles politics mr had never reckoned as very well suited iii a sketch in black and white to the comprehension of the female mind and church matters with up the poor old establishment inside and it from without seemed to him more of a subject for bitter indignation and than for ordinary conversation it happened therefore that the s talk was generally of an character dealing chiefly with the land and the crops with kindly bits of gossip about neighbours and and with reminiscences of historic runs with the hounds the memorable taking of or through impenetrable elizabeth listened gladly to this simple talk it demanded no mental exertion on her part and yet it kept her from more intimate and from thoughts and speculations the was satisfied with her quiet attention it was pleasant to him to say familiar things which he had often said before he believed that elizabeth was quite sufficiently amused and meanwhile he was glad to do a proper amount of talking without touching on subjects of a serious or character mr had given up most of the problems of life as and he was inclined to be a little vexed when anything was said which seemed to suggest that they might not be so and that it was the duty of reasonable human beings to struggle to find a solution of them it often strikes one as unfortunate that women are not more capable of letting each other alone mrs was quite incapable of dealing with elizabeth in the same simple fashion as the d mrs she was not willing to take her niece for granted she wanted agreement of sentiment and assurances of feeling which it was not in the nature of the younger woman to give mrs had as a girl accepted certain social traditions and she had owing partly no doubt to her comfortable circumstances and secure position clung to them through the course of her life and now they ruled her completely if you deprived her of them she would have felt like a lost child uncertain what to do and where to turn the foundations being shaken the righteous as represented by mrs would have been in most case she was gentle tender hearted and calmly devout but her imagination was small and her sympathies were narrow she was but it was impossible to deny that she was rather limited elizabeth alarmed distressed and surprised her at times elizabeth s faults and temptations were incomprehensible to her she was always sensible that elizabeth did not repeat her experiences	32
or fulfil her ideal under given circumstances there had always been a want of common ground on which she and her niece could meet safely and the little space which had formerly existed seemed to have considerably in extent since elizabeth s marriage when the first strangeness and pathos of her return began to wear off mrs grew a little dissatisfied she was unconsciously on the watch for her niece s and ch iii a sketch in black and white unfortunately elizabeth was not a great and had a tendency towards a certain of thought and speech which often caused her to pluck rather rudely at the conventional with which her aunt decently covered her own convictions and desires one afternoon about six weeks after elizabeth had back to she and mrs were together in the pretty little sitting room upstairs in which the latter lady generally spent her mornings there mrs made up tidy accounts and ordered her household and her husband s parish with dignified kindness and composure elizabeth was sitting in one of the deep her hands resting idly in her lap out of doors everything seemed to be feeling the pleasant influences of the spring and awakening in hope and freshness to a new lease of life the elms looked soft and with swelling the pastures were green with the springing grass the sober landscape lay sleeping in the pleasant sunshine away among the trees in the distance on the other side of the brook elizabeth could see the quaint old red brick chimneys of the house her mind was full of gentle regret and yet of hope at one and twenty one can easily in fancy at least call a new world into existence to restore the balance of the old mrs with her pretty faded face sitting knitting by the fire so serenely mrs who had never known a trouble in mrs all her life was perhaps really more deserving of pity and sympathy than this beautiful young woman with her obvious sorrows and her heavy widow s gown smart told me the other day aunt said elizabeth still looking out over the sunny country that miss died last year i hadn t heard it what has been done with the house it is an unpleasant subject answered mrs slowly mr behaved very strangely considering the length of time the place had been in the family he sold everything i wonder why said elizabeth oh nobody knows replied mrs sir bought all the land with the exception of one or two fields adjoining s farm which your uncle took but everything was sold the very chairs and tables we had known for the last thirty years everything went there was a want of consideration and proper feeling about it added mrs severely your uncle was very much annoyed elizabeth turned and gazed out of window again have you heard anything of edward lately aunt she said mrs glanced up quickly from her knitting but she could only see elizabeth s as a against a background of and in that position it was impossible to gain any idea of her expression no nothing at all she answered quietly ah responded elizabeth ch iii a sketch in black and white it would have been difficult to her to say at that moment whether she felt relieved or a little disappointed she sat quite still for a minute or two without turning her head then getting up she walked across to where her aunt sat knitting by the fire and knelt down before her on the rug dear aunt she said i want you to be very kind and do me a great favour mrs only smiled she had a vague that elizabeth was going to ask her to do something which she would not the least like to do she also wished that elizabeth would sit down on a chair like an ordinary person when she asked mrs objected to seeing people kneel except in church or at prayers the position seemed to her a little exaggerated will you ask frank and his wife to come down here for a week at elizabeth went on they could get away from london then i think and i should be so glad to see them mrs s smile died away she did not in the least wish to to her niece s request but it was decidedly awkward to refuse it i know you don t care to have strangers staying in the house continued elizabeth but i am very fond of them i mean of the and frank was wonderfully good to me you know during that sad time abroad mrs waited a moment while she her knitting pins a little nervously mrs part i i don t know elizabeth what to say she answered at last but i am afraid your uncle would not quite like it mrs found it difficult to say what she wanted to say with elizabeth kneeling there and looking up at her so sweetly dear me why not exclaimed elizabeth your uncle and mr did not get on very well together the night you came home they differed about politics i believe answered mrs dear me said elizabeth again she got up off the rug and stood opposite to her aunt she felt hurt and annoyed at mrs s manner it must have been a very serious difference of opinion she added if it should be sufficient to make uncle really object to frank s coming here in point of fact said mrs looking down at her knitting but feeling far more comfortable and self possessed now that her niece was no longer kneeling so close to her in point of fact elizabeth mr is not quite the sort of person we have been accustomed to have here possibly not said elizabeth her meaning this neighbourhood is not very brilliant clever men are	32
not very common about here i was not speaking merely of this neighbourhood elizabeth said mrs looking up with some dignity ch iii a sketch in black and whit she would not condescend to define the society in which she had but the memory of many generations i crowded into her mind everybody were and knew or ought to know the sort of society they had always lived in elizabeth s face flushed painfully her pride was touched and her loyalty towards her husband demanded that she should speak she waited a moment for she found it a little difficult to control her utterance you forget aunt that frank is my husband s brother she said at last mrs it was almost coarse she thought to put the matter in that light but there was a large fund of obstinacy in this fragile gentle looking little lady s nature she had not the smallest disposition to haul down her colours because elizabeth had not the delicacy to perceive how much out of place her last observation was mr was a said mrs and frank is a newspaper editor rejoined elizabeth speaking as quietly as she could but the two men were brothers aunt and you can hardly mean to imply that my husband s claims she paused a moment to be admitted into the society you have been accustomed to depended upon his profession mrs stood up too she was extremely pained and distressed this conversation has taken a most mrs part l turn she said i think you must perceive yourself how it is elizabeth under present circumstances i really cannot discuss the question further i must entreat you to let it drop and she slowly and severely rolled up her long strip of knitting elizabeth had generally repented after one of these final of her aunt s she had generally been convicted of sin more from habit perhaps than from anything else and had herself but this time something deeper than her own personal pride was touched all her better nature was roused in defence of her husband s memory mrs by at least had him and elizabeth bitterly and fiercely resented the slight she did not answer but remained standing near the fire with her eyes fixed upon the floor mrs finished rolling up her work in silence and moved away just as she reached the door she turned and said in her usual quiet even tones i am going to drive over to this afternoon elizabeth i have ordered the closed carriage so that there would be no objection to your coming if you cared to do so no thank you answered elizabeth shortly i prefer remaining at home she was determined to make no step this time towards a reconciliation with her aunt she went hastily to her own room and throwing on a hat and jacket went out quickly by a side door ch iii a sketch in black and white into the garden being careful to avoid a meeting with mrs for whom the carriage was waiting in front of the house there is a broad walk leading out of the garden at towards the church it is divided from the main road which runs parallel to it by a belt of trees and on the other side is a sunk fence beyond which stretch the pastures sloping down towards the brook that strayed through the valley about half a mile away in the winter this walk is sheltered from the bitter east winds by the belt of wood and in summer pleasantly shaded by the overhanging trees while to the westward across the sunk fence the view such as it is is wholly elizabeth had dreamed many pretty dreams during her quiet pacing up and down this walk while her eyes wandered over the still green country and her thoughts wandered far into the coming years coloured by bright hopes and charming fancies her steps turned instinctively towards it now though her hopes were no longer very bright and though realities had arisen like s lean and devoured all her fair fancies one by one she was hurt and angry full of tenderness towards her dead husband and towards his family she knew that mrs had not spoken without thought and intention the narrow along which life at moved already began to worry elizabeth she had already observed that many opinions which she expressed were mrs part i able to her aunt that the latter feared she was breaking free in a somewhat dangerous manner from received doctrines that she was too anxious to think for herself she knew that mrs resented all all elizabeth suspected that her aunt accused the frank of encouraging her to take her own way and that their influence was considered she stood still in the middle of the walk the were flying in a long black line home to their half made nests in the elms by the church the children shouted at their play in the village street and the thin spring sunshine lay softly on the face of the green meadows away across the brook elizabeth could still see the twisted chimneys of the old house above the trees for a moment the thought came to her of how different all her life would have been if she had married her first love the good tempered fresh faced young squire and had settled down to the quiet life of the country with its simple round of duties and pleasures the quiet country life would have been pleasant enough to her two years ago but now she had had experience of another and more exciting sort of living elizabeth was very young still though she had suffered though she had been cruelly disappointed she had not yet said her she longed after all that is included in that magic word culture after books	32
and music and art after fanciful and beautiful colours she believed that the ch iii a sketch in black and white fe s stone was still to hj found and she longed poor child to set out in quest it she owed her aunt and uncle a debt for love and care of her but her loyalty to her husband ranged itself alongside her desire for beauty and knowledge against her simple duty to those who had stood to her in the place of parents she could see that remaining at implied complete submission to mrs s small moral and social code when the time of her mourning should be over there was no more prospect before her than dreary dinners with local solemn afternoon calls with mrs visits to the schools and to certain cottages occasionally the holding of a stall at some for the restoration of a neighbouring church now and again a wearisome garden party of conversation none worth the name no change no new interests nothing but the eminently trivial round and the remarkably common task meanwhile elizabeth seemed to see herself growing older and and as one quiet year slipped away after another now she against the of five or ten years hence she would be accustomed to it nay at last she might even come to like it she was capable of exciting herself very greatly with her own speculations the picture she had called up of her future in the still sleepy village was intolerable to her she desired desperately to get away and cast in her lot with the frank she saw clearly that no middle mrs course would be possible for long she would have sooner or later to make her choice between her own and her husband s relations as she stood full of uncertainty and of conflicting feelings in the spring sunshine the riding home over the fields from visiting some cottages stopped his comfortable fat on the other side of the sunk fence and looked at her ah he said smiling a little sadly it is very pleasant to see you moving about this old place again i am growing an old man my dear and i like a beautiful young face to look at ch iv a sketch in black and white chapter iv sir he said i take stock in everything that concerns anybody mrs meanwhile along in the closed carriage towards was as unhappy as a person supported by a strong sense of accomplished duty can well be the coachman s livery fitted it was quite pleasant to behold his back the horses trotted cheerily along the broad the country looked pretty in the afternoon sunshine the in moreover would hurry with satisfaction to their doors anxious to supply any quantity of any article that mrs might desire when they saw her carriage stopping in high street all these things were wont to yield her a gentle sense of gratification for notwithstanding her traditions mrs was a very person she enjoyed her own respectable and dignified position and still more she enjoyed the recognition of her respectability and dignity by others it is distinctly agreeable to be persuaded that the world in general shares in our own good opinion of ourselves to day the worthy lady ought mrs part i surely to have felt even more than usually serene and satisfied for she had got her own way she knew that after their late conversation elizabeth s pride would prevent her making any more inconvenient suggestions respecting a visit from the frank mrs had fought and won the little battle very successfully she had her desire but alas together with her desire she had withal in her soul she believed and rightly that she loved elizabeth more truly than she loved any other human being except her husband but mrs was not a very acute and had never perceived that she loved not elizabeth as she really was but elizabeth as she might be if that strong natured young woman her individuality and submitted herself entirely to her aunt s guidance she loved in fact a phantom elizabeth of her own creating and was perpetually distressed and annoyed with the real elizabeth who bore but a slight resemblance to her ideal mrs just now was feeling pained at having had such a disturbing scene with her niece and was confused and bewildered by the way in which elizabeth had spoken and by the view which she had taken of the matter she could not comprehend how any right minded person could see things from a different to her own mrs had never been entirely satisfied with elizabeth s marriage she suspected a want of great in the family she did not go as far as her maid smart who ch iv a sketch in black and white being blessed with aristocratic ideas had suggested on hearing of robert s death that she hoped now miss elizabeth would take her maiden name again she did not certainly go as far as that but she had cherished a silent hope that the connection would be quietly dropped and that elizabeth would come to regard her marriage merely as a slightly unfortunate episode and adopt the and view of things in general mrs could not the fact that frank a newspaper no one whom she knew had ever married a newspaper editor or had taken to that sort of employment as a profession some people can accept no fact without a precedent then too from hints that elizabeth had dropped mrs feared that the frank knew all sorts of queer people writers artists actors people who live by their brains and their talents instead of on their means are always a little doubtful mrs associated such persons with lodgings and meat and with an absence of horses and carriages and servants with long and admirable personal	32
the by with a sense of her entire of the vehicle this was a very innocent fraud deceiving nobody inasmuch as the yellow body and wheels are perfectly well known to every one on that side of the county but it afforded mrs a little anxious satisfaction and saved an extra shilling for the driver and as it merely caused other people some kindly amuse mrs ment perhaps it was on the whole as good an arrangement as most other arrangements in this world mrs leaving the two younger girls in the carriage when the party at last reached proceeded into the drawing room with her eldest daughter and her husband mildly bringing up the rear mrs had driven over from that day cheered by a sense that the mighty had fallen and that she was going to have the delicate privilege of seeing them lie prostrate she had indeed brought on purpose that that dear girl might all the sorrow and disaster she had escaped by remaining in a state of single but elizabeth looked so serene and handsome notwithstanding the melancholy suggestions of her deep mourning dress the drawing room at the was so of solid comfort the tea so excellent the cream and cake so rich so dignified and in helping the ladies to climb down from and later to struggle up into the that poor mrs began to be doubtful whether the mighty had fallen after all and whether really had on the whole so very much cause for the thought of an s bill and butcher s book haunted her mind and a sense of the curiously unequal division of the goods of this world oppressed her spirit it may be difficult for the rich to enter into the kingdom of heaven but experience had taught mrs ch iv a sketch in black and white long ago that it is often difficult for the poor harassed by care and worry and weary with work to find time to think about the kingdom of heaven at all other friends and neighbours called too and mostly went away with the impression that elizabeth was perhaps a trifle better than could be expected and that she was quite unlikely to drain dry their stock of amiable surface sympathy by making too great demands upon it perhaps they were just a little annoyed as they had counted on the circumstances of their several visits to for supplying them both with a distinct emotion and with a subject for much subsequent conversation the ladies indeed permitted themselves a mild revenge by at elizabeth s apparent to her position and their ruffled were by no means smoothed down by the fact that husbands brothers and sons who somewhat against their will had been into paying this visit of invariably remarked on the way home that mrs certainly was taken all round one of the women that they the had ever seen it is not a little trying in a very quiet neighbourhood to be disappointed of an emotion but how greatly is that disappointment when the very person who has caused it is pronounced by those whose views of female beauty are of peculiar importance to you to be an unusually pretty woman elizabeth though embarrassed and slightly mrs at being thus regarded in the h of a show which all the country side thought it had a right to come and gaze at was with considerable self control and moderation mr s little speech had moved her and had laid the rebellious spirit within her at least for a time she any allusion to their late with her aunt and though both women were sensible that there was a certain want of cordiality in their relations that they had taken a step apart and must look at each other in future through the separating medium of a distinct difference of opinion things were going on very fairly well on the whole one day certainly there seemed some danger of a sharp collision but they both were wanting in the courage necessary for a real battle as the warm weather came on elizabeth began to have a strong for her heavy black stuff dresses with their interminable they seemed so conventional and so hot and dusty altogether such a blot on the fair hopeful spring time with its delicate and colours and promise of radiant blossoms elizabeth had a very limited belief in the right thing she was a little disposed to at custom as don at the and with the same result for custom like the would certainly stand firm while poor elizabeth like the gallant though fantastic knight would only get an unpleasant roll in the dust for her pains in time experience teaches most of us that custom is on the whole wise in her ch iv a sketch in black and white but all vigorous and generous young souls have to purchase their conviction of her wisdom at the cost of a few no doubt in the present yet very in the long run elizabeth argued thus not only did the gowns weary her but surely her husband who delighted to see her her natural beauty by wearing graceful and becoming garments would have been the first to entreat her to lay off these ugly conventional of woe surely she did not need these commonplace almost vulgar outward signs of sorrow to keep memory green and remind her of that pathetic parting down by the purple these dresses made her think no whit more tenderly of the dead while they seemed to her painfully out of harmony with the awakening beauty of nature which robert had loved so well she had pulled the offending dresses out on to her bed one morning and was standing over them in company with smart her aunt s maid regarding them with an air of strong when mrs herself with	32
her neat little figure delicately pink cheeks and white cap with its waving came quietly into the room she stopped and looked at the pile of black garments with just a faint suggestion of surprise elizabeth was sensible of a influence directly mrs s gentle astonishment seemed the visible symbol of all those recognised of life respecting mourning which elizabeth was just proposing to mrs main mrs s surprise implied the surprise of all respectable and well regulated persons she was not very alarming perhaps but as the representative of a widely accepted and deeply cherished idea she became very formidable and elizabeth found herself shifting her ground and her desires with a rapidity which she had to admit was both humiliating and amusing i have been looking through all my clothes with smart aunt she said they are so dreadfully hot and heavy that i must have something done to them the pink tint deepened a little in mrs s cheeks she had a painful sense that she was on the edge of one of those struggles in which her love of her niece and her love of tradition must meet in battle array you cannot of course think of making any change in your mourning so soon my dear she said with gentle decision these gowns are fearfully hot now that the weather is getting so warm elizabeth observed avoiding any more direct reply mrs turned over one or two of the dresses slowly she wished to appear open to conviction she knew by experience that mere carried very little weight with elizabeth but it was so utterly obvious to her mind that within six months of a husband s death no amount of could be too great to testify to his widow s decent grief that she found it impossible to in her niece s evident desire for some ch iv a sketch in black and white tion of her costume mrs was as far from questioning the of custom as she was from questioning the existence of the sun in the pale spring sky outside at last she said looking rather at smart than at elizabeth dresses of this description are always worn for at least one year under such circumstances are they not smart having a strong desire to remain and run no risk of offending either of the parties pulled the dresses about a little with a critical and professional air but wisely said nothing anyway observed elizabeth with a touch of impatience i must get something thinner for the summer i should half die of heat if i wore these things all through the hot weather the are very thick ma am remarked smart putting in a timid oar mrs stood quite still and silent feeling most unhappy to persons of her rather narrow nature trivial matters are of almost dreadful importance a question of a little more or less will often be more painfully to such a woman than the fall of an empire is to a philosopher she felt too that smart was her and going over to the enemy that she stood alone in the defence of sacred custom and propriety to some people it is infinitely to be in the i think said elizabeth suddenly struck by a mrs happy idea til write to and ask her to get me some summer things thin you know and yet suitable inquired mrs looking up yes my sister in law answered elizabeth a little she dresses admirably aunt she would find me exactly the right thing i should have thought it would have been wiser to trust to your own taste in this matter or mine said mrs with mild dignity but in any case the gowns must have been made up in london answered elizabeth so it is really to get some one to choose them who is on the spot there is an excellent in elizabeth said mrs with a certain in her tone smart was present and she would not let this discussion into anything approaching to she had stated her own opinion she had indicated the right road to elizabeth mrs felt that circumstances were against her had she been alone with her niece she thought it would have been her duty to say more as it was she determined at least to save her own dignity she had protested now she washed her hands of the matter and retired in good order from the scene of the leaving to elizabeth along with her rather doubtful victory a sense of discomfort and which resulted in her not writing to but putting on the heavy gowns again and ch iv a sketch in black and white wearing them with what patience she might to the end of the summer this little episode did not tend to increase the limited cordiality existing between the two ladies elizabeth might submit outwardly but her spirit remained free and each of these differences of opinion helped to clear away the mists of habit from her eyes she ceased to take mrs for granted she stood outside her and looked at her and judged her the judgments of the young are cruelly just they have not learned by experience of life and experience of their own and to temper justice with mercy they cause the unhappy to stand in the full glare of the sunlight and notice every spot and and rent with terrible accuracy the young are charming and beautiful and poetic and the sight of them our more languid with the memory of past joys and hopes but when it comes to judgment and criticism of conduct in pity give us the tried hard worked man or woman who has fainted and and through much has gained a touch of the divine compassion that is not extreme to mark what is done amiss it is piteous to think that matters of and black	32
stuff trifles of etiquette or of social standing may the of love and life far more than great sorrows but truly the and of every day differences of temperament little which almost inevitably arise between persons of two different generations o mrs are enough to cloud the sunshine and turn the milk of human kindness very sour these wretched trifles hardly deserving of a moment s serious consideration have the power in course of time of changing human from the deepest source of joy into a perfect flood of discomfort it is not without a certain truth that has been always figured with a broad band over his pretty eyes when he takes off that band and looks the object of his devotion fairly in the face he is apt to become more of a critic than a lover and the critic has always a of contempt in his composition the last two years of her life which had been spent with a man her equal in intelligence and her superior in culture and knowledge of the world had removed the band from elizabeth s eyes as far as mrs was concerned and she regarded that lady s conduct and action with rather unfortunate clearness she had ceased to believe in mrs s small social code she knew that there was a great section of the world to which mrs would appear very provincial and unimportant she had learned that all social judgments are relative rather than absolute and her aunt s belief in the of her own set was very to elizabeth with the logical of youth and she went farther still having discovered that mrs was narrow minded in some matters she concluded that she was narrow minded in all she did not admit this to herself in so many words it is true but she got into a habit of expecting her aunt s views ch iv a sketch in black and white to be inadequate and till almost every word the poor lady said raised an inclination to opposition within her towards her uncle elizabeth s feeling was quite different still had his eyes and had not exchanged love for criticism to begin with there was the tie of common blood between the uncle and niece the sympathy which comes of hereditary instincts and which often persons whose characters may on the surface seem to be very different for mr s wishes and desires elizabeth had an instinctive regard she was almost contented to be dull at if by remaining there she made him happier and gave him pleasure it was not only his true affection for her which made mr so dear to elizabeth she was a person singularly influenced by her early emotions and impressions to most people i suppose the would not have appeared a very romantic figure but to elizabeth s childish imagination on one of his great hunters clothed with the dignity of hunting boots and spurs he had seemed to all the gallant spirit of chivalry the little girl fancied that the heroes of sir walter scott s delightful stories must have ridden just such horses and had the same air of perfect physical strength and pleasant courtesy about them elizabeth as a child had never been fired with the idea of military glory had never seen glittering or been moved with a sense of passionate at the sound of martial music had never been overcome with the wonderful pathos of all that brave mrs part i show with its implied possibilities of horror and agony and death so it happened that fox hunting country gentlemen commonplace easy going people engaged merely in the pursuit of their own pleasure represented to her the fine disregard of danger and indifference to bodily discomfort and hurt that is so entirely to most women s minds it is the fashion nowadays to the poetry of broken bones as and but higher education board schools and notwithstanding most people are still ruled more by their instincts and feelings than by pure reason or a delicate perception of artistic cause and effect a man s voluntary disregard of danger still claims a woman s sincere admiration the members of the softer sex have a latent element of in them which makes many of them disposed even in the nineteenth century to rate brute courage above the cardinal virtues thus elizabeth was strongly influenced in two very different ways by her feeling for mr notwithstanding her admiration for the broader and more cultivated life which she knew her law and all his friends lived from early habit and association elizabeth was conscious of possessing a strange tenderness for men of her uncle s type and she was never quite certain to which of these two very different orders of beings she really belonged anyway she did not mr much she asked herself no questions about him but loved him simply and as a natural result desired to please him ch v a sketch in black and white chapter v whilst yet the calm hours creep dream thou and from thy sleep then wake to weep in the beginning of july the left home for a week he went to receive rents from and listen to the complaints of his tenants on a small property which he owned in another county this expedition was of yearly occurrence and was regarded as a grave event in the household mr stayed at the house of his taking with him and thereby securing not only his own comfort but many interesting subjects of conversation for the subsequent of the servants hall at as the worthy butler returned home with a of gossip and stories not unworthy of herself mrs to whom the notion of a railway journey was always a little alarming and whose devotion to her husband made her after forty years of married quite as unwilling to part from him for a week	32
as she had been within six months of her wedding day announced as usual her intention of driving over with the to mrs part l and seeing him safely off by the three o clock up train there was a great sense of movement in the usually quiet well regulated household the fine old english gentleman is always remarkably full of business and importance on the day of even a short journey he gives orders in a loud voice in the hall and passages walks about with steps that through the house is about the number of pairs of boots he will require to take with him and has a general air of severe as though urgent affairs of state weighed heavy on his spirit like all good servants thought it right to adopt a touch of his master s manner and attitude of mind he was as dignified and seriously over the packing of a couple of as though he was on the eve of starting with mr on an exploring expedition into the heart of africa he intimated to the maids several times during the course of the morning that though no doubt they might be said to have some place a small one in the general economy of things yet they were but trivial creatures at best and wholly unequal to great and solemn such as that which he now had before him i fancy there is no class of men who take themselves and their occupations and engagements so entirely for granted as the old fashioned english country gentleman and the said gentleman s faithful man servant they do everything with a seriousness and an amount of conviction which is at once comic and impressive to the ch v a sketch in black and white in tents whose tendency is to smile at everything himself most of all but though to an mind it may seem a little absurd that any class of persons should be possessed of such an earnest and sincere belief in themselves it must be admitted that they have an amount of solid individual character which is too often wanting in more brilliant men they are at one with nature in fact though they have little enough imaginative appreciation of her beauties and from that at one ness springs a strength and self confidence which is rightly very powerful elizabeth when the travellers with sticks and all their various mrs included had at last started for the station went up to her own room it was a large low chamber in an angle of the house with two long windows one of these looked out to the west across the broad pasture lands to the faint blue line of the distant horizon the other looked south over a of brilliant flower beds to a thick bank of and trees the of which were delicately against the sky in this southern window through which the sun now poured filling the low room with mellow radiance stood a writing table elizabeth pushed it a little aside to get the window clear and after laying off her hot black dress and putting on a white linen she sat herself down comfortably in a big covered chair and prepared to give herself over to luxurious rest of body at least if not also of mind f mrs part i the old house was quiet with the sleepy summer quiet which is so utterly and soothing now and then there was a footstep on the gravel in the garden below or the comfortable and of a wheel or the sound of a nice careful noises and gentle labour and a decent regard for appearances the breeze came in laden with the scent of and through the wide open and a bunch of tea roses set in an old blue and white china jar on the table added its delicate sweetness to the atmosphere of the room elizabeth sank back into the deep arm chair with a little sigh the stillness was very pleasant all her surroundings were thoroughly comfortable and eminently respectable but at twenty stillness however comfort however solid and respectability however obvious and are hardly enough to yield entire content and satisfaction at fifty or sixty elizabeth thought they might be sufficient then life would be pretty well over and the shadows would be growing long and a calm evening would be soothing after the busy day but at her age it seemed sad to have nothing better to do than count the quiet hours growing into quiet days and weeks while the took his little journeys and mrs mildly ruled her household and paid dignified afternoon calls at one and twenty few handsome young women with plenty of health and strength busy brains and desires would care to settle down in land in it seemed always afternoon ch v a sketch in black and white perhaps on this particular day elizabeth was all the more ready to resent her position and quarrel with her peaceful lot because she had received some letters by the morning s post which had opened an unexpected prospect before her she had only had time to glance at them when they arrived as mr s impending had demanded her as well as every one else s complete attention but now in her own room she hoped to give them her serious consideration and arrive at some definite conclusion regarding their contents before mrs who was sure to do a little composed in should get home about half past five o clock to tea the first letter was from robert s old lawyer and dealt merely with a matter of business in addition to an income of about a thousand a year her husband had left to elizabeth a house in the rather uninteresting district of south west london which stretches from around victoria station down towards	32
the river robert had taken this house on a long lease shortly before his marriage the frank and various friends lived near by and the young couple had settled down in their london home with the expectation of spending many years in it but in point of fact they spent barely one year there robert s health broke down as has already been stated he and his wife were hurried abroad at very short notice and the house was let now the lawyer wrote to inform elizabeth that the family which had taken the house wished to give it up when their mrs year expired in the coming september and to ask whether she desired that he should put it into the hands of some house agent with a view to securing another tenant or whether she proposed occupying it herself the information and suggestion contained in this letter came upon elizabeth with the force of a considerable surprise she had been too confused and unhappy when she left london to trouble herself about business and the matter of the letting of the house had entirely passed from her mind her first feeling on reading this letter was one of shrinking how could she go back and live alone in a place so full of memories and disappointments she did not disguise from herself that her marriage had in some ways not been an entire success it would be painful to be clearly reminded of all that it had not been as well as of all that it had been both the sweet and bitter of memory would go to swell the stream of her regret but on the other hand the prospect of a long dreary winter in the cold damp when the roads would be too bad to admit of the of the of social and when the fields would be too muddy to walk over was far from mr s chief employment and alas his chief subject of conversation would be hunting for days and weeks elizabeth would have no one to speak to but her aunt and she was beginning to feel a little nervous at the idea of frequent d with mrs even in the summer sunshine the old house ch v a sketch in black and white with its inmates and surroundings was a trifle wearisome to her what would it be she wondered in cheerless december or january weather she longed to live vividly it was better even to suffer than to would the london house haunted though it was by memories of her husband and her short married life would it not she thought after all be to the and everlasting afternoon of her existence elizabeth lying back in the covered chair in her soft white with the sweet wandering in through the open window wondered and pondered and balanced these two views of the question and found it almost impossible to arrive at any decision if her uncle had not been engaged with the unusual turmoil of preparation for a journey that morning she would have consulted him and probably some chance word or look of his would have touched the latent springs of tenderness and homely duty within her and she would have stayed quietly at in which case her subsequent history would probably have been of a very simple and kind but early in the day she had perceived that it was not a good opportunity for asking mr to apply a calm and mind to the contemplation of her affairs and so she found herself compelled to arrive at an decision the more she thought the matter over the more was elizabeth disposed to entertain the idea of going up to london for the winter she would give herself a little time anyway she would not write at mrs once and say that she wished the house to be let she would pause perhaps to morrow she should see more clearly what to do only she was sensible of an ever growing desire to be free to be her own mistress again i am afraid it cannot be denied that my poor elizabeth was and looked at most things from the point of view of her own wishes but strong natures are inevitably a good deal occupied with themselves and their own sensations let those who are wiser reckon them as fools if they will and then proceed to suffer them gladly being sure that they are pretty certain to find their own level in time the other letter was of a very different nature and elizabeth picked it up with a sense of relief after her mental struggle with the intricate question of the london house it was written in mrs frank s very neat little hand adorned with many notes of admiration and much intended to point out and the writer s exact meaning in each sentence but notwithstanding the of feeling that might be suggested by this style of and by the frequent use of there was a force and clearness in the handwriting which implied that mrs frank though of a lively disposition was by no means in doubt as to her own intentions that she knew her own mind and would have no hesitation in speaking it when it might suit her purpose to do so dearest and sweetest elizabeth the letter began i have been in a state of absolute ch v a sketch in black and white tion at not being able to write to you for so long but all my time has been taken up with the babies imagine they caught the from some horrid children their nurse let play with in the square unknown to me of course i was furious other people s children have no right to give my children however fortunately they were not at all seriously ill only poor more cross than i can say they have been a pair of	32
became more and more oppressive and heavy masses of white ch v a sketch in black and white cloud began to rise out of the south east the dim sunlight and threatening a storm elizabeth slept on quietly for some time and was awakened at last by a long growl of still distant thunder she got up hastily and looking out of the window over the hot misty country observed the unmistakable signs of an on coming storm the sky was becoming covered with rapidly moving lurid clouds quick irritable little winds ruffled the heavy foliage of the trees for a moment and then died suddenly away elizabeth had that uneasy suspicion of approaching trouble and disaster which often persons of a sensitive before the breaking of a bad storm she remembered that mrs must just be driving along the exposed from and wished nervously that she was already home partly to overcome her instinctive feeling of loneliness and partly to hearing the carriage directly it should stop at the front door she set the door of her own room wide open on to the broad landing at the farther end of which the main staircase of the house led down into the hall then coming back to her chair near the window she sat down to watch the storm and listen for the arrival of the carriage mrs elizabeth knew had an intense dislike of thunder almost to terror she regarded a much as she might have regarded a revolution it seemed to her a horrible of the recognised order of things it mrs surprised and confused her she liked well regulated nature useful fields and trim streams well kept roads and nicely laid out nature should be by man and be educated by him mrs thought mountains and forests seemed to her somewhat too to be contemplated with anything but a disturbed sense of astonishment in the same way she appreciated moderate sunshine and convenient rains with an allowance of frost and snow during the winter but storms and and alarmed and distressed her they made everything seem so dreadfully and doubtful poor mrs clung with an almost painful to that which is usual and orderly and well known everything violent and unexpected whether in outward nature or in human emotion was entirely bewildering and incomprehensible to her it was past five o clock when elizabeth at last heard the sound of carriage wheels and the opening of the front door she hurried out on to the landing while the thunder rolled and overhead the who reigned below stairs in the temporary absence of was just saying in answer to a faint inquiry of mrs that mrs was upstairs she believed in her own room ch vi a sketch in black and white chapter vi virtue how frail it is i friendship how rare love how it poor bliss for proud despair but we though soon they fall survive their joy and all which ours we call elizabeth waited a tall glimmering white figure in the dusky gloom of the landing while mrs her small face pale with agitation hurried upstairs anxious to find repose and security after the turmoil of her stormy drive home like most women of a strong and ardent nature elizabeth was quickly moved to loving compassion by the sight of weak and timid creatures in distress mrs in the serene comfort of her daily life was to her but mrs tired wan and frightened was a very touching and appealing spectacle ah dear aunt fm s glad you are home she said taking her aunt s hand and leading her gently into her own room the door of which still stood open mrs turned to her with a clinging desire for support and encouragement a thunder mrs storm and on a railway journey seemed to her a of alarming circumstances which justified her in claiming all the tenderness and affection that she could possibly get hold of sit down said elizabeth pushing the big arm chair round into a shady angle of the room you won t see the lightning so much there and let me take off your things and let us have tea up here and then you ll feel all right again i believe the worst of the storm is over now while she spoke she busied herself in taking off mrs s bonnet and over jacket and in arranging the cap with white which she hastily fetched from her aunt s room i imagine that when a middle aged woman has once accepted the inevitable and taken to caps there is nothing more and disturbing to her than being without one even for a very few minutes mrs had often lamented privately that her niece s hands were not smaller they were white and well shaped she admitted but they had always appeared to her a little too large and strong for perfect womanly refinement on this occasion however as elizabeth adjusted the afore mentioned cap and smoothed down her gray hair with gentle touches they seemed very lovely hands to mrs she put out her arms with a sudden impulsive movement and drawing the beautiful pitiful face of the young woman down towards her kissed it with quite unwonted you are a dear dear child elizabeth she said ch vi a sketch in black and white tenderly and it is very sweet to have you so kind to me her voice was a little tremulous and her eyes were full of tears mrs had lost for a moment that self command and calm dignity of which though very in themselves were certainly liable to keep most people at a very respectful distance from her the two women had not felt so thoroughly at one for a long while they had got away from all that is passing and superficial into a region of simple and kindly sympathy there was a delicate	32

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