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give my daughter away mr had said to me within the of one of our fine old historic piles but since that pious satisfaction is denied me we must make the most we can of what we have make the most of it a foreign land an alien tongue but still a rally of warm english hearts about our blushing bride this our at the grand will have secured us we can count on it i am happy to say count on it so we set forth for a self conscious and ill little band as i have already stated and should doubtless have returned thence in the the same order or disorder save for an unexpected turn of feeling on the part of and here let me pause to render a tribute to a lady of whom i have so far i am afraid spoken with but moderate enthusiasm mrs who on this memorable day certainly did her possible to the of the situation it fell to my lot to convey mrs across the many lines of intervening between the platform and the train for have you ever happened to drive a tender hearted stray sheep and a lamb i never have yet after my experience with mrs i seem to possess a quite professional knowledge of such driving for it required all the authority let alone all the arts of which i am master to compel the dear good woman glorious in a purple costume relieved with gold across those many lines of rails with the greatest activity i had to head her off to right and left as she turned and doubled greatly afraid of non trains afraid of possible disaster to mr afraid of parting with her lamb the afraid that innocent creature would be left behind lost never bestowed safely within the matrimonial fold after all and it was with sincere relief after the prolonged struggles that i beheld the grim form and cast iron countenance of the great advancing upon us two might attain where one had failed to begin with he assured my agitated charge that there was plenty of time to go on with that he had secured seats for us all in a first class carriage he proceeded with my assistance kindly but firmly to the panting lady up the narrow iron steps on to the back platform of the said carriage promising that he would go and find the other members of the party and bring them to her in the doorway mrs met us forgive me if i fall into the style of contemporary for truly mrs is nothing if not contemporary nd describe her as a long dream of a woman clothed in slightly faded and white her head was crowned by a large white hat in shaded and smothered in a vast white net veil tied in a bow high at the back her rather thin throat was surrounded by several rows of very good pearls i understand that pearls like seeds or chickens need a tender and steady warmth to bring them to perfection to secure this mrs invariably wore her pearls my imagination fails to picture her without them as of course you know her looks in certain the circles have a subject of some persons assert that she is washed out sandy her features her figure quite her arms of a length and almost distressing they add as a rule that she is self conscious both in speech and bearing while other and no doubt more enlightened critics find in each of the above peculiarities an added note of beauty not the robust flesh and blood beauty well understood which the mistaken greek loved to or the mistaken to paint but a beauty refined and spiritual a joy to the imagination rather than the eye a sentiment rather than a sight a rather than a feeling a face and form in short of infinite suggestion these critics usually wind up their discourse with a reference to q c and murmur but how she in faltering voices for my own part i have always held mrs to be a very clever person clever to the point of possessing all the effect of a pretty woman while being in point of fact a plain one this is among the very highest of social arts the successful professor of it commands my applause the more so probably that our own country women are somewhat incapable in the exercise of it they need to be really quite pretty before they know how to r so such the conduct is weakly neither their french nor american sisters are much by such obviously false mrs standing just inside the railway carriage took good mrs s thick warm hand tenderly in her long thin one i am so truly glad you are the first to come she said with gentle haste because if you object or if you think darling would object you can tell me so at once we are old enough friends dear mrs to dare to be truthful are we not and i will disappear immediately she crossed her left hand over her right and with raised elbow and drooping wrist took my left hand and held it ah so you are admitted she added brightly that is delightful it gives me hope that i am not after all in thus coming then she swayed over mrs with renewed tenderness you know how close s and my intercourse has been and how deeply i value her i m sure you ve always tried to behave most kindly by her put in mrs kindly no dear mrs the word the idea is out of place between your and myself i shall always feel it has been one of the truest privileges of my life to be so much with the her to watch her growing powers her charm | 32 |
is very very great you feel it so don t you mr it is unique i replied mrs stared at me well i suppose i never shall understand you clever people she remarked in tones of slight as i said tm sure there s no though tm sure s a very fortunate girl in having mr care so much about her that mr and i would sooner have i cast an glance upon mrs if she possessed tact in heaven s name let her use it ah yes she said rising nobly to the occasion mr is so good and unaffected so honest and english must see that but he is very very fortunate too dear mrs s friends of course cannot help dwelling very much in thought on that to be her constant companion would be so truly for any man think of the delight of her brightness and depth of character the combination is extraordinary mrs paused looking up smiling at the roof of the railway carriage her shoulders slightly raised and her long wrists crossed just below her bosom then she swayed over mrs again in sudden anxiety the but you are sure you do not think my coming to day an intrusion she said i felt so strongly about it i felt i really must come and yet i was we discussed the question yesterday evening all through dinner i think all my people would have liked to come but i could not allow that i know your so well i know and respect her instinctive shrinking from and so i said i would just slip away quietly with my husband we would take a little and day s holiday we could ourselves immediately if it seemed better to do so but i thought it possible might be useful for i gathered from what mr told me there were papers to be witnessed and my husband is so utterly and so accustomed ah dear friend she cried making a little rustling rush forward with both arms outstretched well then here s at last and i m sure i m as thankful as possible mr for i was as nervous as could be something would happen to some of them this from mrs looked exceedingly pretty standing there framed by the dark lines of the doorway she wore a coloured dress with very large pink sleeves to it and a hat to match with pink roses the broad brim of which turning o the up formed a pale straw coloured about her head the girl s mouth gathered quivered her e were she and mrs held each other s hands looked at each other sighed kissed with a sort of rapture murmuring simultaneously dear dear friend i i have not done wrong in coming it seemed as if could not answer she threw back her head smiled bit her lip then suddenly she seemed to become aware of my presence her breath caught as though in pain this appeared to me a quite for demonstration for had we not come down together inside the to the station mrs took the place by the window drew miss down on the one next to her i think it had been her intention i should occupy the vacant place opposite upon the seat of the other she had piled dust and a lai e basket of fruit and flowers but if such was her intention it was by the advent of our active who whipped into the empty place rubbing his hands delightful surprise he cried i am sure most delightful a display of sympathy of spontaneous solicitude altogether flattering to myself and my family adding one more to an already long list of charming acts of courtesy the we are in your debt and how to pay said mr with sudden solemnity passes me i the chambers of my brain but they are empty of any suggestion of a possible means of payment yet he continued brightening who knows a time may come an opportunity may be granted me and then the heart bound fast to thine by friendly deeds wiu rouse to action thy needs looked hard at the speaker then she addressed her friend in low and hurried accents chapter ii just then the door opened at the far end of the car and admitted he came down the narrow between the seats h his hat to two of the high school variety whose overflowing hold he slightly in passing oh here you all are he said how d ye do mrs no pray don t anybody move i see you re all settled mrs and it may be remarked occupied the single seats the other side of the i can just as well find a place farther up the carriage all the same he gazing at hoping as i thought that she would make some sign but she made none turned away i followed him and so it happened that we towards sitting opposite to each other rather cut off from the rest of the company it was extremely hot and we had to pull down the canvas blinds and half close the windows to keep out sun and dust the train roared along the past on one the hand the rocks white with fluttering and by clear little green waves on the other it need hardly be stated that the two had left all windows down and blinds up in their thus supplying us with a liberal measure of glare and engine smoke above the noise of the train from time to time i heard mrs somewhat senseless and laugh like many women in society she had a tendency to laugh not in proportion as she was amused but in proportion as she was bored i could well believe s style was finely in all this heat the more excellent of | 32 |
her then to have come i have never entertained a better opinion of mrs meanwhile sat silent his long legs outstretched beneath the little iron table between us his head bent his mind busy judging by his expression with rather gloomy thoughts sometimes it strikes me we men are awful brutes when it comes to marriage he said suddenly we want so much we must have everything nothing less than the whole will satisfy us upon my word i think we give a good deal in return i replied the counter demand is considerable a matter by no means to be at so considerable in my estimation that as you see i have never yet found myself equal to meeting it and so remain to the present hour at once io the and my state of single oh i m all on the man s side believe me in marriage in my eyes the bridegroom the husband is the leader of a forlorn hope at once a and a hero thank you said you are encouraging but the truth is you don t understand you re out of it i am afraid i made use of an which had better not be repeated regarded me with an expression both humorous and dogged yes you re out of it he repeated it s not that you are unequal to meeting the demand you ve never felt the thing you ve never been knocked out of time by a woman bless me you don t stop to calculate the amount of giving and taking then you don t weigh things you don t when a man meets his fate he meets it the whole matter is outside argument it is just so he may be a but he doesn t stop to care about that paused a moment shifted his position laid hold with both hands of the of the back of the seat high above his head no the man doesn t give much in proportion to the woman to the girl to the good woman he said for the man knows the ropes after all he has a precious clear idea of what he is driving t he knows what he wants quite well shame the well in too many cases but hers is an act of faith almost divine god in heaven it seems to me there is no limit to the gratitude to the reverence with which we should regard an innocent girl who is willing to any one of ua he smiled at me i b your pardon for like this but it s borne in upon me to day that i am a selfish animal and i suppose something of the cheap old superstition to me that in your sins you rid yourself of them to a certain extent at all events a better man than i under all the circumstances would have talked less and done something practical old s income such as it is pretty well dies with him and she ought to have money she can use it it is necessary to a woman with her gifts and it is miserable to think of her wanting it now or any when a better man than i would have seen to all that provided against any bother that way and then set her free given her up whether she would or not threw himself forward and for once the blood rushed into his face but i can t he said i can t before god i have tried but i have the pluck i want her i must have her for a little while just for a little while and then the at that moment i perceived mrs standing up and waving to me across the backs of the intervening seats it was as well had given himself away rather completely the conversation could not continue at that level of emotion and one always has a sense of in struggling towards the surface after such a plunge into the deep sea of feeling women hold hands and kiss each other and cry a little on the way up to the surface which must be a great help but to us to whom these tender of the situation are denied the ascent is extremely embarrassing so i not unwillingly obeyed mrs summons leaving that dear fool to recover his in private mrs looked slightly distracted do come mr she exclaimed as i approached see there is a place for you mr will kindly put my odds and ends on to the table yes thanks so i am just starting that delightful thinking game dear st john taught us the other day after luncheon and we want a sixth we really must have you mrs leaned her elbow upon the table she at me with her long narrow hand her eyes expressed a more direct sentiment than was at all their wont they intimated that something really had to be done they took me into their confidence the mr quite surpassed himself quite in it she continued he gave us the most interesting examples and must learn it i am devoted to thinking games they fill in so many stray minutes when otherwise she laughed it will prevent our feeling this oppressive heat now mr you shall give us a subject an event or a character in history or fiction really it is an excellent exercise of memory while i count twelve do you see then in twelve words describe it and then we have twelve between us in turn you understand and you answer in numbers as we get more or less near it twelve of course means game now remember we all have to speak as quick as possible and we played that thinking game oh yes indeed we played it as the train rushed on past past | 32 |
past we had the burning of d arc in twelve words and the relief of in twelve words and the battle of and the of the by and the reform bill of this last naturally from a deck said mr one two three four counted mrs no no three but three he cried is one only one joined by the ever welcome torn canvas the dear me put in mrs i always have disliked i suppose it s the princess pleasure steamer poor creatures an acquaintance of aunt had relatives on board going down in the river i wish mr wouldn t allude to such things oh a too four five cried mrs ms noble commander laid low my love you are entirely mistaken in victory minutes this from the platform as the train up i rose leaving extended upon the deck with so to speak waving the british flag over his honoured and prostrate form and went to look after he lay back in his place fast asleep his face was singularly peaceful almost in its simple serenity but he held his hard brown hat stiffly with both hands and worked it slowly up and down his knees even in sleeping and that was not at all pleasant to see somehow chapter iii the little ceremony was over and had got his wife as far as civil law could give her to him his will was signed and witnessed by and myself then we turned from business to the of pleasure we ate a smart luncheon at a smart hotel towards the end of which entertainment mr was with difficulty restrained from making a speech finally we went for a walk at this point mrs courage ran out she departed with many of sorrow to seek for some distinguished whom she suddenly felt an overwhelming necessity to call upon she went away in a cab with a white to it like the of a four post bed she left us et mire clung to each other through that dreadful walk clung to the clung to the rest of us escape was impossible like s cloud we moved together if we moved at all it was hot and dusty and the us i the horror of being out for the day was most sensibly upon us returning from the farther shore of the by the broad des to the middle of which s island is by a little iron bridge good mrs made a sudden diversion there was yet a weary hour before our train started she begged to be taken on to the island not that she was filled by the spirit of pilgrimage by memories of the delightful pages of the or the ones of the social contract she saw trees and green benches whereon she might rest a while and seek relief from the and of this very day took care of her found her a cool spot sat by her saying i am sure an of nice kind things mr and mr drifted into a ponderous conversation on the affairs of the nation at home and abroad while i found myself standing under the narrow shade of the great with the fair the waters of the rushing down between the white of the bridges at the pace of a galloping horse the of the solid square houses the and its rows of round headed plane trees lying in strong sunshine and blue shadow the city piled up behind to the stern mass of the cathedral the two the towers of which showed hard and dark against the pale h of the grand the girl s pretty eyes had been whenever they chanced to meet mine during that deadly day they were still i perceived that the atmosphere was electric i feared we were on the e of an explanation and i cordially explanations so i talked i did more i i gave my companion a really rather witty description of a sentimental journey i had once made in company with the friend who shall be nameless from les to for the purpose of visiting les sacred to the memory of that most charming victim of every conceivable false philosophy madame de suddenly the girl stopped me you go too far she said for i cannot believe you are utterly heartless and so you must be aware in a measure of all i am feeling oh i know you are talking well you usually do that but just now that you should be agreeable is of very slight moment to me she raised her hand and pointed to the dark high shouldered cathedral you remember they burnt people up there once upon a time she said well i feel towards your talk much as those people must have felt i the towards the to them gaily in the sunshine while the flames up that no no no pardon me i cried it is you who go very much too far for goodness sake don t us thus suddenly in a sea of tragedy right up to the neck forgive my remarking that your illustration is a wild exaggeration altogether beyond the facts of the case you know what i have done you know why i have done it and you make agreeable conversation you have no word of recognition of admission does not your sense of justice compel you to own my sincerity at last oh quarrel with me as much as you like i said that is healthy enough but don t lose sight of the proportion of things and indulge in distorted it is unworthy of your intelligence to do so to go thus madly beyond the facts of the case the girl clasped her hands and moved a couple of steps aside with one of those swift movements which would look so upon the stage but can | 32 |
anything really go beyond the facts of the case she asked in tones of sharp thin distress upon my word i was very much provoked with the provoked to the point of being the greatly minded to tell her once and for all that she was a goose yes most emphatically many things can answered does a man s love carry so little weight with you that you dare speak as though to be the sole and supreme object of it was a dire misfortune moreover comes to you with his hands by no means empty he does not merely offer you the trivial matter of his whole heart but the exceedingly substantial matter of his whole fortune the girl s colour had faded she regarded me with some amazement she had often surprised me now i proposed to have my turn you cannot suppose money matters to me she faltered indeed i returned i can very readily suppose it money matters to every one of us who is in his or her sober senses miseries come whether one is rich or whether one is poor but i own i never encountered any form of misery yet which money could not do a good deal to but that is not the main point the main point is your very limited appreciation of the affection of the man you are marrying are you aware that you are simply scolding me my companion inquired sweetly yes i am perfectly well aware of it my dear young lady i replied and unless you the actually run away from me or call for help i am fully prepared to continue the process i am not nearly through with the business yet and it is all for your good all believe me see now you have done me the honour to be very confidential with me you have confided to me dreams of an ideal affection the colour rushed into the fair s face again she closed her charming eyes and raised her hand as though to ward off a blow but the vision of was upon me in that railway carriage and the broken passion of his utterance i would not bear with me while i point out to you that those dreams are but pale and ghostly beside the real the very full blooded romance of s affection all that you have vaguely imagined yourself feeling regarding some possible conceivable but non being he positively and actually feels regarding you don t you understand you are the last word of poetry of art of religion even to him and is that nothing is it a slight matter to be to a man the the ultimate expression of all all delights that in you he finds the of his highest aspirations finds it there or nowhere i paused somewhat out of breath from my own most unusual flight of eloquence i am not the often thus loudly to be so is to be crude and i shudder at even now i dared not pause long lest a quite opposite side of the case should present itself to me and i should begin to fear not only that my enthusiasm was slightly ridiculous but that i might after all be presenting my with a edition or not it appeared to work upon her she stood silent and her pretty face set in the of her wide rose hat wore a questioning expression somewhat so i flattered new to it and this encouraged me i held a brief for well then i would strike while the iron was hot i would go on i would plead his cause yet further my dear young lady you have been by much talk by much reading by all manner of ingenious hair regarding the emotions regarding the relation of men and women do come back out of all that all those and fanciful and deal with the matter in hand you have just married a man who you to whom you briefly represent rapture well lend yourself a little to the situation it is not a contemptible one for to how many women do you suppose it happens in their whole lifetime ever to represent that to any member of our sex the the s lips quivered she looked very young just then and enough i saw in her a strong likeness to her mother to a of long ago rather than i had an moment wherein my spirit in purest and most pity and hope over a little more and i could have prayed to whatever gods there be for the salvation of her should tell me all this himself she said wait i replied the humour strong in me he will do more than tell you only give him time remember is one of those who live not one of those who merely sit at home and write them only don t frighten him by narrow criticism and quarrel with him because he does not altogether to fashionable standards give him room then he will not disappoint you he has rather magnificent stuff in him and he is yours to make or to break make him believe me he s worth it make him and for you also life shall be sweet the girl came close to me and that hideous she whispered will vanish into the out of which it came i answered the narrow shadow of the had shifted so that pink and rose crowned the stood in the full gaiety of the sunshine above the rushing blue river if i make him will you believe in me at last she asked down to the ground i will hail you as the dearest and most sacred thing on earth a clever and beautiful woman who is not above giving happiness who is not ashamed of being | 32 |
other s arms thus finally and if i say the half marriage went so merrily might not the whole marriage go to perfection for the time i enjoyed all the proud pleasures of the preacher the the i comprehended the of the position i had played with souls for their good and eternal and had won them though the odds against such winning were extremely heavy i had saved s reason probably his life the into the bargain i had converted the for the time i own it my conceit of myself was colossal it was in this spirit of profound self that i beheld and his bride pass out into the dusky brightness of the garden and that i conducted mrs to a gilded chair in the whence she could witness the of the dance while mr full of dinner and parental pride himself leader of the encouraging the and the wildest confusion by introducing young ladies of whose names and he was quite uncertain to gentlemen whom he did not in the very least know then the sweet influences of accomplished duty pervaded me a large calm mingled with the serenity of one upon whose the gods have smiled so that he finds himself both a better and man than he had ever imagined himself to be i retired into the hall to a secluded corner behind one of the groups of pillars supporting the first floor gallery there i sat and smoked and thought as i invariably do think when i am feeling very good of the white house away in of the old historian his living interest in things long dead his deadly indifference regarding things still living and of the the woman i ought to have married the only woman as i firmly believe when i am feeling very good that i ever really loved the woman i never make the slightest effort to see sweet and meanwhile i watched the passing crowd and since the double doors of the facing me stood wide open caught passing glimpses of the dancers my senses pleasantly by the sound of many footsteps many voices the rustle of women s garments across all which tempered by distance came the strains of the band surely i might take my ease was not everything going to admiration out there under the stars amid the magic of the fair september night was not making love his soul delivered from the grotesque and ghastly dream of the dog and was not n e listening her soul delivered from dreams hardly less grotesque and ghastly from false standards of taste of fashion from false false from a silly pursuit of was she not beginning to comprehend what an exquisite yet very simple solution notwithstanding the of contemporary feminine and true love offers to the much vexed question of the sexes beginning to comprehend how deep rooted and terrible yet how exceedingly the pretty a is the love of an honest man and many men are honest after all you know for an honest woman my soul expanded under these charming meditations for was i not the ex was not this good work mainly of my making had i yielded to the s thoughtless and involved myself in any intimate relation to her how different the result it was the cut of her shoes that saved me perish the thought it was my own high my own self forgetting appreciation of the justice of the situation had i weakly to withdraw instead of bravely to remain again how different the result i beheld the vision of two wasted lives the moreover let loose upon society possibly to me yes me after all in the end instead of which here i sat with the perfect peace of conscious verily how delightful are the of the righteous how inspiring the repose of him who seeks the advantage of others rather than advantage of his own five minutes more and i might have added a hundred and fifty first to the hundred and fifty of king david with a difference a difference possibly somewhat in the direction of f but i was saved from any such disaster by the sound of a low as i have already stated i am i the affirm acquainted with but one human being who to the fact of his presence in this primitive manner it is a little habit of mr and he often it as a preface to observations the reverse of s so i fancy but then i own to a prejudice against on the present occasion he had stolen upon me softly and his manner struck me as less superior than usual he really seemed to wish to make himself agreeable evening he murmured as he dropped into a neighbouring chair dancing how superfluous you are very right to remain out here the modem and this i imagine is pre eminently is a spectacle few sights indeed can be more repulsive than a herd of both sexes and clasping each other s and revolving with prolonged and boisterous in time to some wholly tune such as my ear at the present moment nevertheless pushed his chair farther to the left with the evident desire to gain a clearer view of the going forward in the but a good many persons stood about the doorway and it was only at intervals that one obtained full sight of the dancers an exhibition of he the in tones of disgust i hold it proof of the skin deep quality of our that performances of this description are nay encouraged it is humiliating to think of by really very decently educated people from the perfectly ordered state then dancing is excluded i inquired for i was still at peace with all mankind and even s failed to me i even | 32 |
played up to him indulged him in the columns of present day he had lately been and according to his graceful fancy he was not slow to observe the allusion and turned to me with a gleam of gratified vanity in his dull eyes ah you read those little things of mine he said they had merit i knew it of course you knew it it is the most abject of exploded that a man can write a without knowing it he directed his slow glance upon the crowd round the door of the again yes i agree with you i knew those articles had merit and the best critics confirmed my judgment i have been asked to them do so i said the world will be the gathered himself up in his chair planting his small square feet on the top rung of it the into a sort of what an immensely creature he was yes i think i shall them he said that is the worst of really beautiful things are too often lost forgotten along with the day that gave them birth but since you are interested in my visions in the perfectly ordered state which as i devoutly trust is equivalent to saying in the coming woman will resume her natural position that from which the moral and intellectual of the last few centuries has her with such deplorable results in the coming there will be a very hard and fast line drawn between the public and the private life for we have ceased most to appreciate the of the high wall the heavy curtain the locked door the spirit rightly understood is it has done its best to murder secrecy and concealment which are necessary elements in all really exquisite living the crowd opened to give passage to the american her well preserved mother and her stout and for the moment the glistening floor of the and its racing couples were disclosed to observation and so i take it continued in the perfect state woman will again dance with all the grace of richly developed suggestion behind the closed doors for the of man who will sit still and just watch her her the support of a profoundly sympathetic admiration not the material one of an arm the coming has a little oriental turn to it then i remarked how should it be otherwise he replied in many matters the oriental has always continued true to the light that was in him his mind has remained by those weak notions of abstract justice which war against the life of sense and of society drew his hand over his moist smooth hair i may add that it partially concealed his ears why does one instinctively distrust a man whose ears are partially concealed by his hair the has swung far enough now in all conscience in the western hail direction with gladness i hail indications of the return the eastern beat and that reminds me talking of dancing of course you know that most exquisite place i was down there at this year they like to have me you remember the view from the drawing room that delightful italian garden and the river flowing just below it the lime avenues and the broken ground in the deer park the studded with the old spanish as entirely a lovely home scene as he stopped again the crowd had broken up about the door a view of the a civil marriage is perfectly perfectly sound in law asked with curious his voice up at the end of the sentence unquestionably i said of course he spread himself in his chair i know most of our fine english country houses from the inside i am happy to say but always strikes me as unique nothing nothing itself its charm is a not a demand while there is the of an intensely aristocratic atmosphere the whole scene the whole life which exactly suits you i suggested turned his head and i perceived a singularly insolent gleam in his eyes it does he replied you are perfectly right it certainly does i draw breath there with the emotion of perfect and natural well being with which as i conceive the draw breath in the air of paradise i am at home he paused and sighed we all have at times of that which is utterly in harmony with the best of our own being a delicious satisfaction of both the religious the and artistic instincts i had attended mass one morning in that little of a chapel and later in the richly toned and while the sunlight yet the grey stone of that range of vast windows lady danced to us you know her but coloured eyes and hair with a dark of and a skin like cream yet that illustration hardly me it is a little suggestive of the cow and the farm girl and a rude first hand relation to nature sideways in his chair and down his hair again think therefore i you only of cream in some golden of about the delicately turned body of which and toy in a wonder of lines yes i think that fairly renders the immediate sentiment of her appearance it was all very beautiful the magnificent room the high bred woman her bare neck and arms the sunlight on which those historic you know them glowed and shone as she passed from the monotony of the to the frank of the innocent alike of the intention of either i remarked i really can t tell he said with an effort at but i hope so of course i hope so for the it would go far to out my cherished theory of woman and there were in the setting of the scene which speaking were wonderfully the other women present wore shirts and sailor hats | 32 |
the men were in breeches and dirty shooting boots pour de little lighted and no one him ah i shall long remember that morning it was big with rose to his feet peering in the direction of the again the crowd had opened drifting to right and left while and the were revealed standing in the doorway evidently they had been the girl s abundant hair was slightly disordered she carried the train of her soft bloom coloured muslin dress over her arm faced her he was laughing a little her talking to her things went well then verily they went most exceedingly well i thanked the gods i approved my own conduct in this business afresh yet i almost regretted to see these lovers in the commonplace of a ball i could not find it in my heart to think it the very best taste in the world that they should thus appear so in public moreover i wished earnestly to believe them in that state of mind in which solitude and the repetition of certain sweet are so full of high illumination the high delight that they should the close contact of their fellow creatures that they should have any desire for activity disappointed me or might i trust this pointed to the light that comes of complete happiness the gaiety which is bom of fulness of content there is a stage of mental as well physical well being which in all living things expresses itself in a disposition as you may say frankly to jump about could it be but oh dear me for that were indeed a notable that n e had reached the stage of innocent rapture in which all young and wholesome creatures develop this disposition to jump about yet the peace of the to themselves unexpectedly virtuous being still upon me i was disposed to press a point in the direction of cheerfulness to endure all things in the shape of that most animal to hope all things for the salvation of s mind to believe all things concerning its from fashionable of the s spirit and as to a of taste in thus appearing in public well after all what is taste the hedge from behind which the feeble shoot at the strong the refuge of the the cloak under which the unsuccessful try to cover the blackness of their envy the with which talent tries so to the eyes of the the commonplace multitude that it shall fail to see the stars of true genius shining on quietly very far above its head my might be confused but my determination of conviction was great and were right to dance it meant everything most promising that they should dance taste who in the moment of honest gladness or honest misery ever stops to think about taste thus did i reason with myself while paused beside me curiously i quite thought he intended advancing upon the couple in the doorway but the crowd to my relief speedily closed up again and he sank back into his chair with a poor girl he murmured i have a regard for her it is painful she was worthy of a better fate than the embraces of that but let us turn to something pleasanter i felt very thankful during that scene at for i recognised that my prayers had been answered and that i had not the signs of the times i recognised that the reaction has set in in very truth that the degrading fiction of the equality of the sexes is already exploded that education doing its worst has still failed to do any abiding injury since the fin de woman true in instinct though false in idea mistakes the of her for the of her the and to prove the completeness of her liberty dances like any slave girl of the for the entertainment of her hereditary masters a might sneer at this as a last and crowning example of the of the feminine mind i cannot sneer to me the matter is solemnly glad from the of its promise woman never thank god for that i but what was the good of my feelings by being rude to him and telling him so i had a growing conviction that he was here for a set purpose that he designs of some sort against the peace of mind of and the if i was rude to him he would go away and carry out his purpose perhaps all the sooner let them dance let them dance meanwhile i would greatly enduring continue the conversation how about the then i asked as one greedy of information to which as a good your organ that is the term i believe organ has devoted so many eloquent pages assuredly you are not taken in by that little he said turning his head slowly and looking at me we need it for the protection of our own property of course as it is by the of the masses not one woman in a million is public spirited the vast the majority have a savage rage for their own little possessions we give it as the rope the enough of rope which will enable these dear foolish female creatures very effectually to hang themselves don t you see most emphatically i do see i said something in my tone i suppose conveyed to my that i had had about enough ah how stupid is it ever to lose one s temper even in a good cause again rose to his feet he stood down his hair and looking intently at the open door of the by the way he said you know i suppose whether this story of mrs is true about that lunatic s money what story i asked that there is really a great deal of it and that he has left it to | 32 |
his wife i got up too and pushed my chair aside to let the looking russian poet and his daughters pass they stopped a moment we talked i hoped would go but he remained at my elbow you signed the will i understand he said of course you know all about it upon my word i replied i do not if you will excuse my saying so that whatever the i do know or don t know is any particular concern of yours is not brave i was delighted to note that he backed away from me a little that he was distinctly uncomfortable and embarrassed of course i don t want details he said hastily don t my motives in asking i have as i told you just now a r ard for the poor girl she is clever in good hands something might be made of her i am aware just as you are aware and everybody else is aware that the man she is marrying is insane and i own i should be glad to know that when her husband into the enforced seclusion which is already in my humble opinion so desirable for the comfort and safety of other people she poor thing will at least be decently provided for make your charitable mind easy i replied mrs ill be by no means destitute so i understood it is a relief to have you confirm the report gazed at me he had trained all his habitual insolence of thanks he said you are really very obliging that is all i wanted to know and he pushed his way through the crowd into the brilliantly lighted chapter v it was the misfortune of that he had dirty fingers and everything he touched those dirty fingers of his had broken up the fulness of my self complacency i began to the of the gospel which i had so lately preached with such success my mental atmosphere changed and for the worse my whole outlook was affected the hall for instance which had only been pleasantly warm half an hour ago grew the crowd which had been amusing grew oppressive i had seen handsome couples nice young couples i had noted gay little now there seemed to start into all sorts of queer people people one could not quite place people who from their general appearance suggested the idea that they had retired from active service whether of business or pleasure and were just stopping over without much either of name or local habitation making out the time till the should claim them and the very little they still were should utterly cease to be a the watering place or hotel population always contains figures of this sort women of uncertain in strange garments whose are light whose eyes are hungry for social or any other sort of recognition and whose day such as it may have been is very clearly over men of more than middle age who once no doubt held distinguished positions in distant lands but who now away a existence on a or play a game of and air imaginary of gigantic proportions within the last half hour these melancholy figures seemed to have multiplied exceedingly in the hall of the grand and their near neighbourhood was for is it not more or less thus that we all every one of us end alas r the of things gay and pleasant the certainty of the ultimate arrival of things altogether the reverse began to form themselves on my lips i recognised that i needed change of air and that speedily just within the great door of the i paused the night was clear and sweet in the basin of the little fountain were not the full chant of the southern but a modest note as of tiny bells great were over the in the dim garden the the stars were very large and keen while from the wine shop of some hamlet far up among the came the sound of a rude chorus of men s voices and the of a drum figures passed along the wide carriage drive slipping out of the half darkness on the one hand and vanishing into it again on the other as figures pass across the stage in some of a play first the lady of the scarlet silk went swiftly by talking excitedly to her two companions the russian young men she had a white lace handkerchief thrown over her head and it gleamed far down the avenue of long after her figure and those of her had been swallowed up in the shadow of the thick trees then a cheery lad in evening dress a typical british with the shortest of red hair and of faces went by he escorted a trim american maiden to whom in the last week he had very obviously and completely lost his heart the two were laughing evidently the joke was a first rate one almost immediately after fled across the scene a of hurrying blackness i let him get to a safe distance then i went out and followed the path along the left of the big hotel under the long row of dining room windows all the were lighted within the and a confused noise of talk and of reached me who paid i wondered not those who ate and drank not the hotel proprietor very certainly nor yet mr i supposed that was his yes s dirty fingers had decidedly spoilt the evening for me i feared was doomed to pay for most things whoever happened to them and just as i had reached this somewhat conclusion at the turn of the terrace in the full glare of the great cluster of electric lights fixed against the comer of the huge building i came upon himself he with his hands in his pockets staring up at the soft night that fluttered around | 32 |
the of hard white light i felt troubled i therefore became weakly in speech you here the gay and giddy dance is over then i said s eyes met mine in e inquiry for an instant oh we ve had some splendid turns he said dances does she not do all things pretty nearly he answered smiling all went well still then my soul received the comfort my faith in my own gospel revived yea these lovers should yet find complete salvation and thought through me was staring at the upward flying night again poor silly fools he said slowly they re a little too much of a but my cheerfulness had returned my dear fellow i replied they needs must love the highest when they see it like the rest of us but the highest is perfectly safe in this case and will not do them any injury they can t themselves the are sealed s mildly distracted brow gathered into a frown for a moment and he raised his shoulders the least bit in the world no they can t themselves he said but they can their silly heads in which will answer much the same purpose then he added quickly and courteously i beg your pardon i am an ass and like an ass i am a little bit out of temper just then somewhere down in the direction of the little harbour a dog i saw start what s that he said under his breath his face straightened he listened i listened too somehow it was exceedingly stupid of me for i ought to have talked but i could not help the myself i had to listen the sounds of from the dining room had grown faint a breath of air had stirred the surface of the bank of shrubs on our right and again down by the harbour a dog evidently a small dog and let us come round to the front of the house said rather hurriedly that set of must be over by now i should think and she told me to meet her at the steps as we went along the terrace he added that greasy animal has turned up again to night he insisted upon s sitting out this square dance with him which bored her and annoyed me rather of course i know fm rather out of it from having been away so long but if that fellow s not a bad lot i never saw any man that was briefly he is a beast i exclaimed chuckled audibly thanks i feel better he said doesn t fancy him either i know but she s seen a good deal of him at mrs and she can t be you see as to this dance she couldn t get out of it as we moved forward the air became positively heavy with the rich scent of the blossoms while the sound of the band came upon us with a sudden in the light music o la so the we shall get away from all these people tomorrow said till then i strive to possess my soul in he smiled very looked half proudly half at me i m awfully grateful to you he said but for you i might not have dared go on thanks to you the supreme good is near is very near just then we reached the foot of the marble steps crossed by broad spaces of golden brightness from the windows of the against which last the band and blowing under the showed as a company of grotesque down the flight stood the surgeon general earnestly to mire oh hang it they ve not done yet said at the sound of his voice mr turned and perceiving us ran down to join us ah ha he cried i see i see and david and as usual inseparable companions for a brief space and then together flowing impelled by friendship as severed drops upon the of the rose upon my word i begin to suspect has a rival in that naughty boy s affections eh mr ham the ladies have been known before now to grow jealous of their husband s friends you must be nice to very very nice to or who can tell eh it s a beautiful night remarked with a certain irritation in his tone all the same i don t care to stand still here shall we take a turn and come back by all means i said was only restless anxious to shake off or was he cold really i was becoming very sentimental over i would sacrifice myself to an almost unlimited extent in the way of to prevent his feeling cold but if his intention was to shake off his father in law that end was not to be attained by such simple methods yes by all means echoed mr i am with you and he trotted gaily beside us a beautiful night as you observe truly a beautiful night really i may say without exaggeration a sublime night i have just been calling my wife s and our good friend the doctor s attention to the expanse of the heavens as presented to us this evening worlds upon worlds displayed to awe the human eye in majesty arrayed go slowly rolling by the here mr became extremely noble if my youth had not been necessarily devoted to pursuits of a practical character and if the virtue of patriotism had not become the master passion of my years i should certainly have been an most branch of science mr i am sure most the silent night the lonely the brass turned in humble inquiry upon ah yes the is mad must be you know tis perfectly obvious yet as i often remind myself the busy bee has its place in nature its little duty to fulfil | 32 |
as well as the soaring es ie and i trust i do not neglect my own honey as we may say do not neglect them i am proud to think our local branch of the league for instance owes much to my efforts and to those of mamma for we must never forget the gentle hand of women which rocking the cradle still rules the world ah ha i rules us and therefore of necessity the world we had walked the length of the terrace before us lay the garden blotted by trees and masses of spreading away to a flat stretch of by the pale gleam of a long straight road then the scattered lights of the little town points of silver clustered along the edge of a blue purple abyss of lake and mountain the mr drew himself up he was quite full blown just then he carried his head on one side and shook his finger wi at the which again were points of silver clustered in that other blue purple abyss of the night sky yes yes he cried you heavenly bodies must indeed pursue your way without me i hearth and home wife and child man and brother church and state our queen our glorious constitution these after all mr themselves more closely about the heart strings of the true than even the most august of scientific studies the affections must be satisfied must be so tis absolutely necessary is in a position to bear witness to that truth just now eh he left his books for ladies looks account books in the case of yes and very well kept ones too as i can testify most creditable in those dear me what s this what s this amid all our charming conversation and light musical gaiety the of some inferior animal in pain i the dog was again the sound had shifted was nearer it seemed to come from the chestnut avenue into the dark shadow of which the the scarlet russian and her companions had disappeared touched me on the shoulder speaking quickly let s turn that dance must be over by now and i don t want to keep her waiting right right cried mr i approve the sentiment the fair may sometimes delay us but let us never delay the fair for tis the little the little that spoil the grapes and how often the surface of domestic happiness is ruffled and the peace of its depths i m sure i may say positively by the of small those trifling trivial of our love which still the heart s complete devotion prove these are too often ignored by us members of the sex yet they are i protest as the basis of sweet agreement in the matrimonial state at the foot of the steps stood mrs dear me she said as we approached m m sure it s a very shocking thing we should be so by those poor black people s bad habits and i really don t see how we do and i m sure it ought all to be put a stop to at once by the queen or the parliament or anybody in a position to do it oh well here you all are the doctor here s the been explaining to me all about those poor indians and the and it does seem all very dreadful and there s been a dog howling so i ve just been asking him to go and see what is the matter with it it always me doesn t it you mr to hear anything crying about like that when you don t know what s wrong with it the set of were clearly over for the band was well away with a again the in her trailing bloom skirts stood just outside the central window of the s figure was behind her he was talking to her upon something the girl moved forward impatiently as though wishing to escape from him but he followed her to the head of the steps he was very close to her still speaking still i saw him to his words whatever they might be touch her arm with his hand saw it too his mouth opened a little and a dangerous light came into his eyes damn your impudence i i should like to settle with you once and for all he said under his breath yes to be sure there it is howling again mrs in but dear me i don t want the poor thing done away with altogether if that s what you mean i only want it turned out of the garden you know or taken back where it belongs s the came swiftly down the marble steps she pressed her left hand against the side of her charming head and the up draught as she moved taking the lace of her open sleeve blew it back showing her arm almost to the shoulder the great diamonds which had brought her glittered upon her third finger and wrist and the band played softly i remember a die away passage of the it was one arranged from that pretty silly song of s ashes of love are as ashes of roses and down by the lake shore once more a dog and chapter vi a le cried mr addressing his daughter in tones le bed surely you young people stand in need of a little light refreshment a plan a plan i have a charming plan eh mamma let s offer our friends here an entertainment before we part at the close of this day to meet again to morrow morning ah yes meet at the church door at half past ten o clock i look for many friendly faces to be gathered at the church door i m sure | 32 |
quite a number of friendly faces but now to supper in speaking mr waved us towards a table by one of the large at the farther side of the terrace the rough top of the table i remember caught the light as did the white parallel to which it stood over which pink climbing roses set in the flower border below had thrown long of leaf and blossom beyond lay a quarter of an acre of lawn sloping away into a darkness of trees the lake shore the the passed us without speaking she went quickly across the wide gravel terrace and dropped into a chair at the head of the table it appeared to me the young lady s whole manner and bearing was curiously concentrated it held no hint of now or of she swept by indeed with a certain violence and as i followed with mrs the effect of her struck me as really impressive her head and bare throat her slim figure to the waist in its pale standing out in clean cut from the background of glossy leaves and thereupon a suspicion overtook me that even now for good or evil i had not come to the end of i took my place at the little table in a spirit of expectation a rather sense upon me really this day was an long one that in respect of drama there might even now be a considerable amount ahead as for the rest of the party mr had off in search of supper still lingered wrapped in august abstraction under the while passing round perched himself on the near his bride his back towards the of the garden his face towards the illuminated of the great hotel he bent down and spoke in a low voice to the girl the mrs sat next me and proceeded to engage my attention by discourse she was attired this evening in a rich silk gown of sanguine hue moreover i distinctly recall her cap it was of the usual respectable upper order so much affected by elderly ladies of our modest nation but as sign of full dress curious little golden depended from the lower lace of it as wind bells from the roofs of a they as she moved her head and the affect was amusing somehow vm sure this is all very pleasant she said looking round with evident satisfaction and no doubt it s very right and proper of dr to be so busy about the bad habits of those poor but hearing him talk seems to make you very anxious you know of course i was always brought up to believe those in authority and and members of parliament and all those sort of gentlemen did know best so that one wasn t called upon to trouble and then of course when somebody like dr comes and explains to you they re always making dreadful mistakes why you can t help being very upset and uneasy you know you really don t feel as if anything was safe anywhere my dear child i heard saying the very gently if you d only tell me what s gone half an hour ago seemed as right as and then it s so beautiful sitting out of doors like this mrs continued folding her hands over the centre of her person of course that was all very different quite in a small private sort of way you know but still it does remind me of the first year mr and i were married we had a house at and a nice bow window to the i know aunt gave me red curtains for it and they never would quite meet there was a mistake about half a breadth somewhere it was a disappointment but i tried never to let them be drawn when she came in for fear it should her well and there was a garden at the back it had walls all round and of course it wasn t very much but there was a black tree in one corner and when joseph used to come back from the office early we would take our chairs out there and sit then s voice reached me again oh he was saying if you would like the plans altered any way there s nothing easier he plucked off the head of a rose and pulled the apart the world s before us where to choose after all you see we ll go where you like and stay the where you like whatever you like i down to the ground i like it it was very close that summer mrs went on and perhaps it s not quite a thing to mention before a gentleman but you see you do seem to be such an old friend now mr i felt the heat very much just then not being quite strong what the girl had answered him i do not know but i saw turn away rather hastily then something must have arrested his attention for he paused leaning sideways over the one arm outstretched towards the trailing roses looking out over the great lawn he was very still for a moment and a dog howled again down in the direction of the harbour poor thing the doctor hasn t caught it then mrs put in pulled off another rose with rather indifference and facing round threw back his head with a jerk the content had died out of his face his brow was distracted and the hunted look had come once again into his eyes he bent very tenderly over whatever you please and my sweet he said softly if only you will be pleased surely you know you know i just live for that you see it was just a few months before dear s birth continued my excellent com the | 32 |
we weren t very well off at that time mr and i made all my own baby linen it s very pretty work baby linen i always have thought that and i used to as long as it was light and then sometimes mr would play to me i am afraid the people next rather which seemed to me very for i am sure i always found it sweetly pretty joseph used to practise quite a number of nice tunes at that time upon the meanwhile went on speaking pleading as it appeared to me but he spoke very low i did not hear what he said you know mr doesn t quite care to hear me refer to that time he gets rather excited when i do and says it s not fair upon to recall our early married life and perhaps it isn t of course it all was very obscure but i never knew how obscure it was then and you see i was very happy somehow mrs sighed i know it s all much better now and that and mr move in society much more suitable to them both but a woman s thoughts will go back to the time she was very happy even if she sees afterwards that it was all a mistake and that she t to have been so you know mr here the made a sudden movement the threw up her hands clasped them before her face she stayed so a minute showing like a against the screen of foliage wait pray pray wait she said presently when my parents are gone not now i can t explain before them indeed i hardly know my own thought yet wait i you wait the last thing i wish is to distress you god knows said slowly and sadly hearing which the of my lately recovered cheerfulness began to vanish in deepening for i recognised that i had without cause that this remained distinctly stared away across the lawn again and as i watched him his figure gradually and straightened he too was watching anxiously unwillingly yet with a sort of fascination something something which i did not see i suppose i really was very tired for his attitude affected me strangely the feeling returned upon me which had oppressed me earlier in the evening as i worked my way out of the crowded hall namely that there was an a element in my surroundings it was absurd of course yet the spirit of fear fear of i know not quite what whether a perception of something supernatural or merely a heightened perception of the ever present possibility of tragedy in mortal existence seemed to the haunt the whispering trees and dusky garden to itself through the blue purple abyss of the lake and mountains and the clear night just then arrived to us mr followed by a waiter carrying a tray shoulder high if there was any influence abroad it had not affected as yet save in the way of an astonishing and altogether ah ha he cried i bring you varied each to bis taste enough alike for all coffee and for the champagne for the more solid accompanied by a mamma was ever partial to a composed of that somewhat weren t you mamma let put the things on the table don t you see et le and you can go this to the waiter whether attracted by the sight of food or impelled by some more subtle form of desire i know not but here descended the steps and joined he drew up at the comer of the table between and myself and the girl looked up at him with a strange expression half dependence half disgust as it seemed to me as once before i suspected between these the two persons and i didn t in the least like it at all events it was a satisfaction to note that along with dependence s extremely pretty and face did express disgust no thank you champagne yes he said in response to an invitation on the part of mr that is if it is dry i take for granted it s dry s voice was not under complete control it came hard and sudden he emptied his glass and then setting it down rested his hand on the table bending forward over the girl have remarked the glow worms to night he asked her out there upon the grass they are really very wonderful he raised his hand and pointed down over the lawn and that hand must have been damp for it left dark on the grey table top a distinct impression of a flat palm four fingers and a thumb to match yes i m sure positively broke in and her train are all abroad this evening i have called my wife s attention to their merry already haven t i mamma at the mention of the glow worms glanced sharply at the speaker then he seemed to gather himself together with a certain determination and sat his head bent his back to the the garden and his face to the light laying hold very hard so i fancied of the edge of the stone on either side of him went on speaking his voice up and down you see them there must be some peculiar conditions to account for the extreme brilliancy of those delicate jewels he paused apparently trying to steady his voice the dance was over the were putting up their instruments the turned out the clusters of electric lights one by one leaving but a gas jet here and there in compliment to the few guests who still in the grounds the lady of the red silk passed us with her attendants as usual deep in excited talk the fresh | 32 |
faced and his trim partner lingered bidding each other a protracted farewell at the foot of the steps ah how extraordinary cried suddenly look look at those in the centre of the lawn two of living green singular they move together rapidly and towards us the pushed her chair violently back making the stiff leaves of the together behind her no no not that way she cried not that way i i dare not it is too wicked i cannot had taken one glance over his the shoulder into the then he himself round himself on to his feet and once again i could have sworn his hair while his lips stood away from his teeth you lie he said and you know it you lie so help me god a silence followed even v for once amazed out of all articulate expression and a dog and howled quite near us this time on the left while one of the a tow headed young german it howling an echo whereupon all his companions laughed rather as they moved away into the darkness round the corner of the huge house when answered his voice rose into a positive scream you are insolent mr and your language is gross but let that pass i appeal to miss to your wife ask her what she saw just now the girl stood up between the two men on her right on her left but she looked at neither of them she looked full at me for a most detestable minute her expression was of supreme appeal her lips gathered quivered with that delicious sketch of a kiss i knew don t write me down an ass i knew she was mine to have if i would i had only to speak the five words to claim her and she would come regardless of all obstacles joyfully nay triumphantly and dear me was she not just then radiant with an amazing mingling of demand and of innocence she asked me silently yet with force she knew not what for s passion was pray let us never forget that as is the passion of so many modem young women rightly considered a matter of the head of the imagination only and not really one bit of the heart and i answered her whether as a man of honour whether merely as a selfish i shall never know to the end of my foolish days here on this foolish earth the problem will haunt me will remain by me did i behave as a perfect gentleman or merely as a very thorough paced i cannot tell anyhow silently i did answer whereupon the girl threw herself down in her chair and her arms out across the table scattering the ice plates and coffee cups to right and left making a swamp of poor little supper oh dear moaned mrs oh dear whatever is the matter everything seems to have turned off so very dreadful all of a sudden and i m sure i can t tell what it s all can you mr about death and i exclaimed under my breath the bent forward across the comer of the table he said hoarsely yet tell me did you see anything what did you see there was a breathless pause and a dog close to us quite close down among the rose bushes just below the then the raised her head and her face was sharp terrible yes she said i did see something she looked at she looked at me again she turned straight to i did see something i saw it his hands together and moved back a couple of steps from the table making an ugly noise in his throat between a cough and a while good mrs broke into an hysterical sobbing oh dear me i don t understand won t anybody tell me i don t understand she said and remained quite still his back to the wide dusky garden his face and figure seeming to grow thinner more corpse like as the passing the length of the terrace extinguished another and yet another of the lights when at last he spoke he was fine he was admirable he had indeed risen to something of majesty for he was master of himself the perfectly self restrained and calm with the bitter self restraint the cruel calm of one whose feet are set in the valley of through which a man s spirit is too deeply laden for him to strive or cry but who moves forward with the whidi in strong and simple natures utter desolation is thank heaven almost sure to give this is not the end he said not quite the end and with the end the rest of you have nothing to do go you cur he added addressing just how much i owe you i don t yet know but be very sure do my best to pay you all i do owe he came round the table and stood by mrs s chair go away too my dear good woman he said very gently you have always been very kind to me but i am beyond the point now where kindness like yours is of much avail i am at a loss broke in suddenly i protest i am altogether at a loss i am at sea positively at sea the scene the really there there there answered you shall know the result all in good time and that must be enough for you but my daughter protested mr had sat rigid her arms still out the stretched upon the table her face hard and set now she turned almost contemptuously upon her father go papa she said i do not want you you can t help me and you may make me ridiculous i can play | 32 |
my own game and she added and you needn t be afraid there will be a witness mr shall stay whose courage was never of the order had fled hurriedly up the marble into the hotel and now et mire followed him quite meekly she weeping in a broken spirited manner piteous to hear i don t understand she said and i was just growing so fond of too he seemed to recall our dear little boy to me though as he died quite an infant and s a grown man i m sure i don t know why and for once in his life mr was too to her he merely gave her his arm and led her humbly away chapter vii so we three were left alone to form one of that was not an honour very certainly which i but there was no way to avoid it so inwardly protesting and feeling i confess nervous i remained came on along the side of the table and dropped into the chair which i in the moment of the catastrophe had the girl did not look at him she continued in the same rigid attitude her arms still flung out across the table amid the wreck of the supper her fingers and the only sign she gave of her agitation and laid his hand on her bare arm just below the elbow it was rather ghastly to think how her muscles working like that right under his must have affected him for a little space he sat silent trying to force back a rising tide of very vital emotion while i remember the coffee from an cup slowly slowly from the farther edge of the table on to the gravel below at last he said s the my sweet this is bad very bad this is the one thing i have implored t happen that i have prayed against by day when i was free by night when i was cursed i have fought against the terror of its happening as one fights for life itself i could not think it could be allowed to be i trusted god whatever god is to be more just than that his voice broke again he was silent trying to recover himself as for that brute he went on presently i believe as i told him that he lied but you you you cried you couldn t lie he bent his head and kissed the hollow of the girl s arm again and again all this was painful and i most what is painful at close quarters i wanted to go away i wanted desperately to go away but the raised her eyes to mine her pretty face was still set and fierce but as far as i could judge in the dim light it was fierce with alarm now rather than with resolve her eyes entreated me commanded me not to desert her i obeyed see said i have no words in which to tell you of my shame of my self in having brought this horror on you i have been selfish in tying up the your life to mine with the possibility of that happening which has happened but but oh i am a scoundrel to have let it come to this pass you see we ve gone too far to turn back you see we belong to each other now paused a perfect agony of prayer of love in his expression it became almost if she would only give some sign but she continued absolutely save for the and of her fingers as they rested on the table you jt s a vile thing to remind you of like this but we are married we can t that except by death and don t don t want me to die he cried not yet not just yet i have cared so long dreamed so long waited so long for for our for what to morrow brings oh i my sweet my sweet try to put it out of your mind try to foi et what you saw you may never see it again it may never come back only be merciful and try just try give me a week a month just a little while in which to be happy and the torment will cease the cloud will pass i know it will it must i will to it must and listen i will love you as never yet woman was loved for you will have done for me more than any woman ever yet did for any man s head sank down upon his hand on the the girl s arm and i that his whole frame was shaken with great sobs forgive me he said just audibly forgive me try to forget then for a minute i confess i lost my bead and called out loud to her speak to say something anything god in heaven what are you made of speak to him i say the girl straightened herself up with a long shuddering sigh a ghostly image of desperation against the dark background of leaves you you of all people in the world she said very bitterly and repeated his prayer just audibly again forgive me and for a little while try only try i have tried she answered at last you have been to me as an angel i have tried she repeated addressing me not you can bear witness to that who better she dragged her arm away from under his hand and i have failed failed miserably and just in the very moment of success i break down she rose to her feet speaking violently passion the me with words as she might have with stones no i don t care | 32 |
damp at night off the lake and if you ve once had a touch of fever it s likely to lay hold of you then we went on across the into the hall and up the great staircase slowly waiting now and then because he shook so badly to the s room on the first floor i remember the impression made on me as i opened the door of it the effect within was striking for there were candles everywhere on the the writing table the chest of drawers by the bedside a positive blaze of light turning this bachelor into something curiously suggestive of a i suppose noticed my surprise candles oh yes he said i always tell them to light a good many like that now it s pleasanter you know at night he gazed round the room in a dazed vacant kind of way upon the writing table stood a folding leather photograph frame somewhat worn and travel stained with much packing it contained a series of pictures of covering quite a number of years judging by the changing fashion of her costume the last photograph was of very recent date the girl s charming face set in the of the rose hat which she had worn that morning s wandering glance lighted on these pictures and a terrible emotion his very my love he cried out loud my love his passed away and in a moment he had turned and spoke to me courteously and with a certain the you re extremely kind he said and i believe you have always done your very best for me most likely i shall make use of your kindness again later but just now for the present i should be glad to be alone i feel i am rather a poor companion i have not much talk in me and i have two or three little matters to attend to fm awfully obliged to you thanks i leaned for a long while out of the window of my bedroom downstairs on the ground floor filled with a vast pity and discontent the air was very still an gloom covered the garden the stars were very large very many very bright the miserable little dog still and howled the spirit of fear was still abroad it agitated it distressed me i had seen two people wrecked had contributed precisely how far i knew not myself to their and in so doing had i too seen that much of which had once spoken had i too been to the end of the world and looked over the wall got to the place from which there is no way out these were not agreeable reflections the hopeless of human character the hopeless of human relations staggered me is there absolutely no limit to our misunderstanding of each other to our of each other to our the of each other is there absolutely no safety is every connection every friendship every love liable to away thus into disaster and then besides these abstract and general fears very and close ones oppressed me what would the issue of this business be between and the what would to morrow bring what even to night suddenly i was overtaken by a certain very definite alarm for which forced me to leave my room and go forth down long passages across the vacant hall and up the wide staircase once more strange vague noises and vague saluted me the clinging quiet of the great house wrapped me about and a penetrating sense possessed me of the common things the pitiful things the base things the delicious things the revelations the mystic which must be taking place to night as every night behind these of closely closed doors the spirit of fear was abroad here too with a suggestion of secrets which might not be looked into the crowd had broken up into darkness and silence all yet the the comedy the ecstasy of human life went forward just the same all the more strongly and directly indeed because now it was hidden and concentrated because each individual had practically the whole stage to himself the i waited outside s room but there was no sound within the candles were still burning brightly for a line of vivid light showed beneath the door perhaps worn out with emotion and fatigue he slept i could but hope so to wake him if he slept would be cruel to intrude upon him if he w would be i that my journey had been a piece of folly i was an idiot to have come conscious of that fact i turned about and went back where were the proud pleasures now of preacher which had but so lately puffed up my silly soul on my own lines i too had failed failed as completely as broken hearted on his as the heartless on hers we had all played and we had all lost destiny had swept our into her lap as is destiny s habit and left us each in our several ways we had each in our several ways asked the impossible of the other with this inevitable this very gratifying result and i i at least from my detached ought to have known better seen clearer for what the devil is the use of standing aside from the battle of life unless by so doing you keep a steady enough head and lively enough to see how the battle is going and to be able to foresee the result my conceit of myself was wounded to the death the it is an humiliating confession to make since i perceive it brings my habitual light into rather lurid but i don t think i had ever felt and personally miserable until now as i shut the great of my window together and reflected that there was no help to | 32 |
the many candles were still burning they low in the the window had been left partly open behind the wooden shutters and the draught had taken them so that they had the from the edge of the into great the air was heavy notwithstanding the partly open window with an smell of burnt paper burnt leather as we opened the door i observed a whirl of fly up from the and settle back slowly in black hovering on the furniture and the white of the bed the folding screen and all the photographs of the had disappeared on the writing table a copy of vanity fair lay open at that pathetic page of the last chapter of the book wherein major after long waiting at last has his desire and withal as one fears in his soul and upon the page was a half sheet of with a few lines on it in s rather business hand i have thought it all out and this is the only way to meet the difficulty so i take it i do not blame her she was pressed beyond endurance and she was badly advised she is safe against the future moreover so my main end is secured also i am delivered at last and for ever from the power of the dog it was signed and in the left hand corner was written carefully to esq and the date such was the story told me that wet afternoon in the smoking room of a certain country house take it he said and a sufficient amount of discretion to prevent its being positively make what use of it you like add to the sum of human despair as is the amiable habit of all you writers of fiction at the present time by drawing out the agony of it at full length by crossing all the very plainly and all the t s the fate of most men is tame enough actually they grow and and decay die even with a good tempered quite soothing to contemplate extreme wretchedness in an saxon community is as rare as extreme rapture but since extremes make for drama and drama is if you will pardon my stating the matter thus your means of you writers this capital fact happy is the people that has no history but as i pointed out to in self defence how shall one write the history of those that have none the i know i know he replied and you poor dear like the rest of us must contrive to live somehow i suppose only i protest it is just this which in one s moments when to one s own immense discomfort the conscience of earlier and mere generations in one it is just this which renders art so suspect for there is no denying art does fix the mind upon extremes upon all that which lies outside ordinary experience it runs alternately to the golden houses of the gods and the to the lives of the saints and the for its and with none of these things when you come to think of it have we most of us anything more than a bowing acquaintance it every side of the great human problem almost to the verge of it persistently the as s the normal the individual as against the race the as against the type at times i own it seems to me all wrong utterly and and yet added i ask you how on earth are we to do without it for it sends just that draught of fresh air through the atmosphere breathed by the commonplace majority which makes romance still possible it and religion which i take it is merely art in a higher the alone keep the ideal alive and so prevent humanity from becoming altogether sordid and still i doubt if it any more than religion makes for happiness for contentment i am very sure it does not make but let us descend from the contemplation of these high matters he went on i become heated therefore i inevitably speak foolishness you want to know something more about the why surely you remember that little affair of s how he retired from the of the present day on the strength of his engagement to a rich and pretty widow how he prepared to all his noble visions of splendour and england from the channel to the to find some fair some castle mansion or century italian villa costly enough to be a not wholly unworthy setting to so unique a jewel as himself s head was slightly turned by his approaching glories he gave himself away rather too freely on the subject of his coming magnificence and then at the hour the lady him causing him to cut a most exceedingly sorry figure while the world before which he had so put its tongue in its cheek is not a brave man and it takes a very great deal of courage to survive being made a fool of speaking has not survived he has tried the various things since then but his efforts have not very brilliantly last time i saw him he was giving lectures in continental towns to companies of specially selected british and american i met him on the immense crumbling steps of st john fat and greasy looking like a particularly de place a of anxious and crowded around him it was not a pretty or cheerful spectacle and then after a time last year in fact the married you must have often met him the painter who was of the trust school before the brief and brilliant reign of that strangely lurid being james and the come here to morrow i exclaimed precisely said the fair is making a great reputation in just now i understand well she was charming she | 32 |
was clever no one should know that better than i only when she comes i go relations are likely to be somewhat strained between us even yet we have neither of us any great craving after that re living of the past which must needs take place did we meet when you have once looked on the face of the naked self of either man or woman you will be wise carefully to avoid ever seeing them again unless the paused and the rain drifted rather against the window unless and that happens but rarely in a lifetime you are lucky enough to love them very much indeed and then thinking over the story of and the power of the thing too much over all that he had told me i asked what he made of it all what he took it to mean whereon he smiled very upon me and whirled the silver string of his eye glass round his forefinger ah my dear friend he cried are you still in that stage of thought wherein you still feel about after a reason still have the youthful to ask why cease to do so it will only make you irritable for you will receive no answer in nine hundred and ninety cases out of every thousand if there is a why at all it is among the secret things absolutely beyond the range of the understanding of man therefore lay to heart that profound saying of a great artist and great d there is the dressing bell we must go a modest acquiescence in the actual that in my humble opinion is the only philosophy of life bv and limited a catalogue of books and of and company london street w c contents books english illustrated books history x biography general literature science i philosophy ao leaders of religion fiction books for boys and girls the library extension series social questions of to day classical books t october october b messrs s poetry by crown dr copies on hand made paper s copies on paper j the enormous successor room the expectation that this volume so long postponed will have an equal if not a greater success shakespeare s poems with an introduction and notes by m p js d english w s english selected and by w e crown s also copies on paper s few will be more welcome to lovers of english verse than the one that mr is bringing together into one book the finest in oar language the volume will be produced with the same care that made delightful to the hand and eye poems and by q author of green etc crown vo d copies on paper s history biography and travel captain the fall of the by l with portraits and plans s d this volume with the recent expedition to the upper which developed into a war between the state forces and the slave in africa two white men only returned alive from the three years war and the writer of this book captain during the greater of the time spent by captain in the he was amongst races in little known regions and owing to the peculiar circumstances of his position was enabled to see a side of native history shown to few the war terminated in the complete defeat of the seventy thousand of whom perished during the struggle messrs s the life of napoleon with over in the text and plates large dr this study of tha most life in is written the general reader than for the military student and following the main of napoleon s career is concerned chiefly with the development of his character and his personal qualities special stress ss laid on his early life the period in which his mind and character took their definite shape and direction the great feature of the book is its wealth of illustration there are over illustrations large and small in the text and there are also more than a dozen full page every important incident of napoleon s career has its illustration while there are a number of portraits of his s of famous pictures of contemporary of his etc etc it is not too much to say that no such magnificent book on napoleon has ever been published the letters of victor translated from the french by f m a in two volumes vo each vol this is the first volume of one of the most interesting and important collection of letters ever published in france the correspondence dates from victor s boyhood to his death and none of the letters have been published before the arrangement is chiefly but where there is an interesting set of letters to one person these are arranged together the first volume contains among others i letters to his father to his wife to his ft very important set of about letters to letters about early books and plays j k st of a chapter in the history of religion by j m of s inn at law js d this work gives for the first time in moderate compass a complete portrait of st exhibiting him in his intimate and interior as well as in public life thus while the great political struggle in which he played so prominent a part is fully dealt with unusual is given to the profound and subtle speculations by which ne permanently influenced and thought while it will be a surprise to most readers to find him also appearing as the author of some of the most exquisite religious poetry in the latin language the decline and fall of the roman empire by edward a new edition with notes and maps by j b bury m a fellow of college in seven volumes vo gilt top ss each crown s each vol ii messrs s w h a history of egypt | 32 |
from the earliest times to the present day by w m d c l ll d professor of at university college fully illustrated in six volumes crown vo s each vol ii xvii xviii w m f a history written in the spirit of scientific precision so represented by dr his school cannot but promote sound and accurate study and supply a vacant place in the english literature of j a short history of rome by j wells m a fellow and of oxford with maps crown vo d this book is intended for the middle and forms of public schools and for pass students at the it contains copious tables etc h b the history of english industry by h m a with maps los d this book is written with the dew of affording a clear view of the main facts of english social and history placed in due perspective beginning times it passes in review the growth and advance of industry up to the nineteenth century showing its gradual development and progress tne author has endeavoured to place before his readers the history of as a connected whole in which all these have their proper place the book is illustrated by maps and tables and aided by copious mrs thomas by mrs second edition crown d leaders of religion naval and military david a short history of the royal navy from early times to the present day by david illustrated j this book aims at giving an account not only of the fighting we have done at sea but of the growth of the service of the part the navy has played in the development of the empire and of its inner life the author has endeavoured to avoid the mistake of sacrificing the earlier periods of naval history the interesting wars with holland in the century for instance or the american war of to the later struggle with and imperial france messrs s col king a short history of the british army by colonel king of the staff college illustrated js d this volume aims at describing the nature of the different armies that have been formed in great britain and how from the early and the present standing army came to be the changes ip uniform and are touched upon the in which the army has shared have been so far as to explain the part played by british in them w naval policy with a description of english and foreign by g w s this book is a description of the british and other more important of the world with a sketch of the lines on which our naval policy might possibly be developed it describes our recent naval policy and shows what our naval force really is a detailed but non account is given of the instruments of modem warfare guns engines and the like with a view to determine how we are abreast of modem invention and modem an ideal policy b then for the building and of our fleet and the last chapter is devoted to stations and especially defence f b n an introduction to the history of religion by f b m a fellow of the university of i s d this is the third number of the series of by dr of in which have already appeared dr s articles and mr s mr f b introduction to the history of religion treats of early religion from the point of view of and folk lore and is the first attempt that has been made in any language to together the results of recent tions into such topics as sympathetic magic etc so as to present a account of the growth of primitive religion and the of early religious institutions w the de of st with introduction notes etc by w m a late scholar of crown y d an edition of a on the of christian doctrine and the best methods of them on for the editor upon this work the same care which a of might claim there is a general introduction a careful analysis a full and other useful matter no better introduction to the r of the latin fathers their style and could be found than which also has no lack of modem interest messrs s general literature g f christianity and the labour question by c f b a crown w j d ft b and by r steel m a f c s with illustrations s d a l we the greek view of life by g l fellow of king s college cambridge crown s d university extension series j a b b h the problem of the by j a b a author of the problems of poverty crown s d social questions b german commercial correspondence by s e assistant master at the grammar school crown s commercial series l f price essays by l f price m a fellow of college oxford crown s this book consists of a number f studies in and and social problems fiction first complete and uniform edition large crown s messrs beg to announce that they have commenced the publication of a new and uniform edition of s this edition is by the author and contains new the volumes are being issued at short intervals in the following order i a romance of two worlds the soul of the sorrows of satan messrs s by s cr s the by s author of the squire etc illustrated s the by s new edition crown j a new edition with the author s other novels the by author of the wages of sin etc crown s this is the first novel which has written since her very powerful the wages of sin m h a child of the by arthur author of tales of mean streets crown s this the first long story which mr has written is | 32 |
like his remarkable tales of mean streets a study of east end life w e by w e author of rogue etc crown s l captain a romance of by l cope illustrated crown s j by j author of in the day of etc crown s j wilt thou have this woman by j m author of the king of crown vo s j f the by j f crown s a by stroke of sword by crown vo s messrs s h a the daughter of by mary a crown j a story of life among the american indians b the spirit of storm by author of the child of ocean s a romance of the sea j a in the great deep tales of the sea by j a ba ry author of brown s crown s don the village and the doctor by james crown w s the sign of the spider by crown e a story of south africa a shield the squire of by a shield j d w of the dead by g w d a series of in which famous men of antiquity caesar etc attempt to express themselves in the modes of thought and language of to day a handful of by s crown y d a volume of stories of life in russia p the by p crown y d the sin of angels by y d h a a man with black by h a crown w j a list of messrs s poetry room and other verses by ninth edition crown s mr s verse is strong vivid full of character unmistakable genius rings in every line times room contains some of the best work that mr has ever done which is saying a good deal din and are in our altogether superior to anything of the kind that english literature has hitherto produced the with imagination they with emotion we read them laughter and tears the throb in our the ordered words with life and if this be not poetry what is q the golden pomp a procession of english from to arranged by a t couch s a delightful volume a really golden pomp spectator q green verses and by q author of dead man s rock etc second edition crown y d the verses display a rare and gift of great command of and a very pretty turn of humour times h an of sacred verse by h c m a crown w s an of high excellence a charming selection which a lofty standard of excellence w b an of irish verse by w b crown y d an attractive and catholic selection times it is by the most original and most accomplished of modem irish poets and against his but a objection can be brought namely that it from the collection his own delicate review e a song of the sea my lady of dreams and other poems by author of the love a second edition gilt top j everywhere mr himself the master of a style marked by all the characteristics of the best he has a keen sense of and of general balance hb verse is globe throughout the book the poetic is fine a messrs s list brand a drama by translated by william second edition crown vo p d the greatest world poem of the nineteenth century next to it is in the same set with with with the literature that we now regard as high and holy daily a o verses to order by a g cr s d net a small of verse by a writer whose are well known to oxford men a specimen of light poetry these verses are very bright and engaging easy and sufficiently witty f of the brave poems of chivalry enterprise courage and from the earliest times to the present day with notes by f crown y d school edition s d a very happy conception carried out these of the brave are to the real tastes of boys and will suit the taste of the great majority s the book is full of splendid things and the poems of robert burns by and w a with portrait gilt top dr thk contains a carefully text numerous notes critical and a critical and and a among the in one volume mr s will take the place of authority t x to the general public the beauty of its type and the fair proportions of its pages as well as the excellent arrangement of the poems should make it acceptable enough mr and his have certainly succeeded in producing an of the poet in which the brightly written introduction is not the least notable feature herald english by w e very dainty volumes are these the paper t pe and light green binding are all agreeable to the eye is the phrase that might be applied to them the volumes are strongly bound in green are of a convenient size and pleasant to look upon so that whether on the shelf or on the table or in the hand the possessor is thoroughly content with them guardian the paper t and binding of this edition are in excellent taste and leave nothing to t e desired by lovers of literature the life and opinions of by with an introduction by charles and a portrait js the of william with an introduction by g s street and a portrait js messrs s list ii the adventures of of by james with an introduction by g m a and a portrait the lives of her and by with an by and a portrait d the lives of the english poets by samuel johnson ll d with an introduction by j h and a portrait lor d illustrated books jane the battle of | 32 |
the and translated by jane author of irish and pictured by f d i s s a book of fairy tales by s with numerous illustrations and letters by arthur j second edition crown s mr has done a good deed and is deserving of in re writing in honest simple style the old stories delighted the childhood of our fathers and we do not think he has omitted any of our favourite stories the stories that are commonly regarded as old fashioned as to the form of the book and the which is by messrs it were difficult to commend saturday review s old english fairy tales collected and by s with numerous illustrations by f d second edition crown s a charming volume which children will be sure to appreciate the stories have been selected with great ingenuity from various old and folk and having been somewhat altered and now stand forth clothed in mr s delightful english to youthful readers all the tales are g d guardian s a book of nursery songs and by s and illustrated by the art school gilt top crown s the volume is very complete in its way as it contains nursery songs to the number of i game and to the student we commend the sensible introduction the the volume is printed on soft thick paper which it is a pleasure to touch and the borders and pictures are as we have said among the very best specimens we have seen of the school messrs s list e a book of christmas verse by h c m a and illustrated by walter crown gilt top s a of the best verse inspired by the birth of christ from the middle ages to the present day a distinction of the book is the large number of poems it contains by modem authors a few of which are here printed for the first tune an which from its unity of aim and high poetic excellence has a better right to exist than most of its fellows guardian history the decline and fall of the roman empire by edward a new edition with notes and maps by j b bury m a fellow of college in seven volumes gilt top r each also crown s each vol i the time has certainly arrived for a new edition of s great work professor bury is the right man to undertake this task his learning is amazing both in extent and accuracy the book is issued in a handy form and at a moderate price and it is admirably printed times the edition is as a classic should be removing nothing yet indicating the value of the text and bringing it up to date it promises to be of the utmost value and will be a welcome addition to many this edition so far as one ma r from the first is a marvel of and critical skill and it is the very of praise to that the seven volumes of it will dean s as the standard edition of our great historical c v herald the beau ideal has arrived at sketch at last there is an adequate modem edition of the best edition the nineteenth century could produce guardian a history of egypt earliest to the present day by w m d cl ll d professor of at university college illustrated in six volumes crown s each vol i times to xvi w m f second edition a history written in the spirit of scientific precision so represented by dr and his school cannot but promote sound and accurate study and supply a vacant place in the english literature of times egyptian tales by w m illustrated by in two volumes crown s d each a valuable addition to the literature of comparative folk lore the drawings are really illustrations in the literal sense of the globe it has a scientific value to the student of history and invaluable as a picture of life in and egypt z ai news messrs s list egyptian art by w m d c l with illustrations crown professor is not only a profound but an accomplished student of comparative in these lectures delivered at the royal institution he both with rare skill in the development of art in egypt and in tracing its influence on the art of other countries few can speak with higher authority and wider knowledge than the professor himself and in any case treatment of his subject is full of learning and insight times s the tragedy of the c the of the and lines with numerous illustrations from gems etc by s author of etc third edition royal a most splendid and book on a subject of interest the great feature of the book is the use the author has made of the existing portraits of the and the admirable critical he has exhibited in dealing with this line of it is brilliantly written and the illustrations are supplied on a scale of magnificence daily chronicle the volumes will in no sense disappoint the general reader indeed in their way there is nothing in any sense so good in english mr has presented his narrative in such a way as not to make one dull page a the of oxford their history their traditions by members of the university by a m a fellow and of college d a work which will certainly be appealed to for many as the standard book on the the history of from to by f t translated by i s d a history of under the of and de this is a standard book by an honest and intelligent historian who has deserved well of all who are interested in italian guardian e l s the campaign of by e l s b a plans crown j a brilliant simple | 32 |
sound and thorough z a y chronicle a study the most the most the most that has been produced a careful and precise study a fair and impartial criticism and an eminently read able and horse guards h b george battles of english history b george m a fellow of new college oxford with numerous plans third edition crown s mr george has undertaken a very useful task that of making military affairs in and instructive to non military readers and has executed it with intelligence and industry and with a large measure of success times this book is almost a revelation and we heartily congratulate the author on his n work and on the prospect of the reward he has well deserved for so much conscientious and sustained labour daily chronicle messrs s list a short history of italy a d i o i a bj fellow and of king s college second edition in two volumes crown s each vol i and vol ii a the age of the a picture of italy standard l r is to be congratulated on the production of a work of immense labour and learning westminster the story of ireland by author of and his companions cr s d most delightful most its humour its original make it one tf the times a survey at once acute and written times biography b l letters by robert louis with an portrait by william and other illustrations second edition crown s d the are rich in all the varieties of that charm which have secured for the affection of many others besides fellow and boys times few have in our time been more awaited than these giving the first fruits of the correspondence of robert louis but high as the tide of has run no reader can possibly be q in the result st for the student of english these letters indeed are a treasure they are more like scott s journal in kind than any other literary national observer p w the life of sir by f w m a with portraits and illustrations crown js d all the materials have been well and the book gives us a picture of the ufe of one who will ever be held in loving remembrance by his personal friends and who in the history of music in this country will always occupy a prominent position on account of the many services he rendered to the art musical news this book has been undertaken in quite the right spirit and written with sympathy insight and literary skill times w o the life of john by w g m a editor of mr s poems with numerous portraits and drawings by mr second edition s no more magnificent volumes have been published for a long time times it is long since we had a biography with such delights of substance and of form such a book is a pleasure for the day and a joy for ever daily chronicle a noble monument of a noble subject one of the most beautiful books about one of the noblest lives of our century herald messrs s list john a study by charles m a fellow of king s college cambridge with a portrait after professor post ss a impartial well written criticism of s teaching intended to separate what the author regards as valuable and permanent from what is transient and in the great master s writing w h the life of sir thomas more by w h m a author of william with portraits crown the book lays good claim to high rank among our it is even lovingly written an excellent times a most complete daily m charles by m m a crown s a biography of especially dealing with his achievements in social reform the author has certainly gone about his work with and industry daily telegraph a f the early life of william by a f with portraits crown s considerable labour and much skill of have not been expended on this interesting work times the life of admiral lord col ling wood by w author of the wreck of the with illustrations by f third edition crown s a most excellent and wholesome book which we should like to see in the hands of every boy in the country si s a really good book saturday review english by robert with an introduction by david second edition crown s admirable and well told stories of our naval history army and navy a brave book black the work master of style and delightful all i daily chronicle general literature s old country life by s author of etc with sixty seven illustrations by w f d and f large crown los d fifth and cheaper edition s old country life as healthy wholesome reading full of life and move ment full of stories vigorously told will not be by any book to be published throughout the year sound hearty and english to the core world messrs s list historic and strange events by s ba ing third cr mm vo j a of and chapters the whole volume is delightful of by s t edition crown vo j mr has a keen eye for colour and effect and the subjects he has give ample scope to descriptive and faculties a perfectly leader a a of country song english folk songs with their collected and by s and h f songs of the west and songs of the west of england with their collected by s m a and h m a arranged for voice and piano in parts containing songs each parts each part f j in one vol french i s a of humour pathos grace and poetic fancy saturday review | 32 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and strange events fourth edition crown vo s strange and with illustrations by s crown edition s we have read mr s book from beginning to end it is full of quaint and various information and there is not a dull page in it notes and s the deserts of southern france by s with numerous illustrations by f d s etc m is vo this book is the first serious attempt to describe the great barren that extends to the south of in the department of lot etc a of cliffs and and rivers the region is full of and historic interest relics of cave of robbers and of the english and the hundred years war his two richly illustrated volumes are full of matter of interest to the the and the student of history and manners it with iu subject in a manner which fails to arrest attention times e s the of a of life with the native in by col with illustrations a and a special chapter on the political and commercial position of by sir george k c m g m p vo os d a compact faithful most record of the campaign daily news a bluff and vigorous narrative herald a really interesting book post messrs s list w r the speeches and public ad dresses of the rt hon w m p b a w a and h j m a with n ix and x i j d each and a book of english prose collected by w e and charles cr s a of extract an art of early ko t post an admirable companion to mr s saturday review quite the made hu been and the has been most admirably printed by messrs a greater treat for those not well acquainted with pre prose could not be imagined j wells oxford and oxford life by members of the by j wells m a fellow and of college crown d this work contains an account at social and a careful estimate of necessary expenses a review of recent changes a statement the present position of the university and chapters on women s education to study aiid extension we congratulate mr wells on the production of a and intelligent account of oxford as it is at the present time written by who are possessed of a close acquaintance with the system and life of the w m a of by w m m a professor of english literature at college s d much sound and well and acute judgments the is a boon s no better of the late s work has yet been published his sketch oi s life contains everything essential his v is full his criticism is most interesting h j herald w a a of burns by w a crown tv s d this book is planned on a method similar to the of it has also a a valuable addition to the literature of the poet an excellent short pa l an admirable introduction si ar l greek their tion and character by l m a fellow of college cambridge crown s an exceedingly a careful and well arranged study of an obscure time mr is never tedious or w w r south africa its history and its future by w m a with a map crown s an intensely interesting book i a a work compressed into a very moderate compass world a i messrs s list a h essays and critical by c h m a author of national life and character with a sketch by h a strong m a ll d with a portrait d my vo these fine essays illustrate the great breadth of hb historical and literary sympathies and the remarkable variety of his intellectual interests v r herald for careful handling breadth of view and thorough charming s c te r views and opinions by crown b and the reader of this book will not have a dull moment the book is foil of variety and with entertaining matter is i r j the its origin and development by j s ck vo this work be in the possession of every and amateur for it not only a and the origin of one of the most important forms of musical composition but by reason of the and accuracy of the author s statements it is a very valuable work for e m the example of being from literature for each day in the year by e m with pre ce by sir third u s d j practical fly fishing founded on nature bv john late of the house a new with a of the author by w g m a crown vo d a little book on fly fishing by an old friend of mr science a short manual for the use of students by dr d von translated from the german by j r b a f vo s d outlines of by p m a f z s fully illustrated crown vo s a text book to cover the new issued by the royal college of and o a of the by george masses with coloured plates net a work much in advance of any book in the language treating of this it b indispensable to every student of the the coloured plates deserve high praise for their accuracy and execution a a s list philosophy l t the theory of knowledge by l t and of college the most important to of mr ey s a p mm i c e and of and of theories are of g m an aad w the fe one of freshness and the are and w h the philosophy of t h green by w h at ge oxford ni r this | 32 |
is and b i senior a to at the and as a of green s and an i c u on to the study of in every way an hook as an to die writings of is die most whom has in the present century nothing could than mr and p w the school of its origin and its under the roman empire by f w m a fellow and of ie oxford m two tl vol a y to the history of ancient thought a clever and hook of thought and deserving f s the worship of the by f s m a d professor of philosophy at university college v dr the author has attempted to that group of whidi stood in close con with the roman religion and among the subjects treated are nature worship roman magic holy places victims etc thus the book is apart from its immediate subject a contribution to folk lore and com a analysis of the religious ceremonies and of rome conducted in the new instructive light of comparative ao messrs s list r a a the articles of the church of england with an introduction by e c s d d of late principal of wells college in two volumes each vol l articles l vi il the tone throughout is not that of the partial advocate but the faithful there of of of judgment and breadth of view the book will be welcome to all students of the subject and its sound definite and loyal to be of great service national observer so far from the general reader its orderly arrangement treatment and felicity of invite and encourage his attention post b l the doctrine of the by r l m a late fellow of college principal of house in two volumes vo learned and and well arranged accurate well ordered and judicious national observer a clear and remarkably full account of the main currents speculation intense interest in his subject are mr s b driver sermons on subjects connected with the old testament by s r driver d d of christ church professor of hebrew in the university of oxford crown s a welcome companion to the author s famous introduction no man can read these without feeling that dr driver is fully alive to the deeper of the old testament t mi t k of old testament descriptive and critical studies by t k d d professor of the interpretation of holy scripture at oxford large crown js d this important book is a historical sketch of o t criticism in the form of studies from the days of to those of driver and smith it is the only book of its kind in english a very learned and instructive work times cambridge sermons by c h prior m a fellow and of college crown vo r a volume of sermons preached before the university of cambridge by various including the of and bishop a representative collection bishop s is a noble sermon guardian h sermons to by h c m a of with a preface by scott holland crown s d seven sermons preached before the boys of college messrs s list e religion in boyhood notes on the religious training of boys with a pre ce by j r by e b m a ix full pe b vo j the imitation of christ by thomas jl with an introduction by dean illustrated by c m and printed in black and red second edition amongst all the innumerable english of the there can hare been few which were prettier than this one printed in strong and handsome by messrs with all the glory of red and the comfort of p herald the christian year by john with an introduction and notes by w lock m a sub of college ireland professor at oxford author of the life of john illustrated by r bell the present edition is with all th care and ht to be expected from mr lock the progress and circumstances of its composition are detailed in the introduction there is an interesting on the of the christian year and another giving the order in which the p were written a short analysis of the thought is to each and any difficulty in the text is explained in a note guardian the most acceptable edition of this popular globe leaders of religion by h c m a with portraits crown a series of short of the most prominent leaders of religious life and thought of all ages and countries the following are ready cardinal by r h john by j h m a bishop by g w daniel m a cardinal by a w m a charles by h c g m a john by walter lock m a thomas by mrs by r l m a m messrs s list of by e l d d william by w h m a john by f m john by r f d d bishop ken by f a m a george fox the by t d c l other will be announced in due course fiction six novels b crown s each a romance of two worlds edition edition tenth the soul of ninth edition eighth edition a dream of the world s tragedy twenty edition the tender reverence of the treatment and the beauty of the writing have reconciled us to the daring of the conception and the conviction is forced on us that even so exalted a subject cannot be made too familiar to us provided it be presented in the true spirit of christian faith the of the scripture narrative are often conceived with hi h poetic insight and this dream of die world s tragedy is despite some trifling a lofty and not of the supreme climax of the | 32 |
inspired narrative the sorrows of satan twenty ninth edition a ver powerful piece of work the conception is magnificent and is likely to wm an abiding place within the memory of man the author has command of language and a audacity this interesting and remarkable romance live long after much of the literature of the b forgotten a literary phenomenon novel and even sublime w t in the s list hope s v r the god in the car a very f of analysis our brilliant bat not mn ii jl bat not with the art that bat yet allows itself to be enjoyed by to fine is a keen without affectation witty inevitably nd an ap a change of air fourth a co to the an traced a man of mark third edition or an hope s books a of is the one which best with the prisoner of the two are the work of the same writer and he a of and own r the of count third it is a perfectly story of love and chivalry and pore romance the is the most desperate and withal modest and tender of lovers a gentleman an a very and a most foe in he is an altogether admirable and delightful hero there is not a word in the volume that can give offence to the most fastidious taste of man or woman and there is not either a dull paragraph in it the book is et e i e instinct with the most spirit of adventure and delicately with the sentiment of all h ic and honourable deeds of history and romance m i s s novels crown s to say that a book is by the author of if is to imply that it contains a story cast on strong lines containing dramatic possibilities vivid and sympathetic descriptions of nature and a wealth of ingenious speaker that whatever mr writes u well worth reading is a conclusion that may be ver r generally accepted his views of life are fresh and vigorous his ge pointed and characteristic the incidents of which he makes use striking and original his characters are life like and though somewhat exceptional people are drawn and coloured with artistic force add to this that his descriptions of scenes and scenery are painted with the loving and skilled bands of a master of his art that he is fresh and never dull and under such conditions it is no wonder that readers gained confidence both in his power of amusing and satisfying them and that year by year his popularity circular a social romance fourth edition a story of fourth edition the author is at his best vm r he has nearly reached the high water mark of national observer messrs s list in the roar of the sea edition om of the best imagined and the has mrs of fourth edition a of vigorous and sustained power c the swing of the is splendid s news cheap jack third edition a drama of passion a story worthy the author a the queen of love fourth edition the is and the incidents are most strong interesting and t cannot put it down until you hare finished it punch be heartily recommended to all who care for energetic and interesting alone fourth edition a strong and original story with description stirring incident and above all with and human interest daily brisk clever keen healthy humorous and interesting national r full of quaint and studies of no mi a romance of the cave illustrated by r third edition no mi is as excellent a tale of fighting and adventure as one may wish to meet all the characters that in this exciting tale are marked with properties of their own the narrative also runs clear and sharp as the itself mr s powerful story is full of the strong lights and shadows and vivid colouring to which he has accustomed us the squire illustrated by frank third edition a strain of tenderness b woven through the web of his tragic tale and its atmosphere is by the nobility and sweetness of the heroine s character daily news a story of exceptional interest that seems to us to be better than anything he has written of late s r a powerful and striking story a powerful piece of work j and s novels crown v dr each and his people third edition happily conceived and finely e s daily stories happily conceived and finely executed there is strength and genius in mr ers style j messrs s list mrs a splendid study of character a but little behind anything that has been done by any writer of our time pall a very striking and admirable novel st james s the translation of a savage the plot is original and one difficult to work out but mr has done it with great skill and delicacy the reader who is not interested in this fresh and well told tale must be a dull person chronicle a strong and successful piece of the portrait of strong dignified and pure is well drawn guardian the trail of the sword fourth edition everybody with a soul for romance will thoroughly enjoy the trail of the sword st a rousing and dramatic tale a book like this in which swords flash great surf rises are undertaken and daring deeds done in which men and women live and in the old straightforward passionate way is a joy to the brain weary of the domestic and of fiction and wc cannot but believe that to the reader it will bring refreshment as welcome and as keen daily chronicle when came to the story of a lost napoleon edition here we find romance real | 32 |
breathing living romance but it flush with our own times level with our own feelings not here can we complain of lack of or the character of is drawn his career brief as it is is placed before us as as history itself the book must be read we may say re read for any one thoroughly to appreciate mr s delicate touch and innate sympathy with humanity the one work of genius which has as yet produced new age an adventurer of the north the last adventures of pretty the present book is full of fine and moving stories of the great north and it will add to mr s already high herald the new book is very romantic and very full of that peculiarly elegant spirit of adventure which is so characteristic of mr and of that poetic thrill which has given him warmer if less numerous admirers than even his romantic story telling gift has done the seats of the mighty illustrated fourth edition the best thing he has done one of the best things that any one has done lately st james s mr seems to become stronger and easier with every serious novel that he attempts in the seats of the mighty he shows the power which his former novels have led us to expect and has produced a really fine historical novel the great creation of the book is his character is drawn with quite strokes for he is a villain who is not altogether a villain and who the reader as he did the other characters by the extraordinary of his gifts and by the almost unconscious acts of nobility which he most sincerely is mr to be congratulated on the finest novel he has yet written messrs s list mr s latest book places him in the front rank of living the of the mighty is a great i and one of the strongest stories of historical interest and adventure that we have read for many a day through all mr moves with an assured step whilst in his treatment of his subject there b that happy of the poetical with the which has all his writings a notable and successful book speaker the story is very finely and told in none of his books has his imaginative faculty appeared to such splendid se as here captain above all and every person who takes part in the action of the story are clearly c and finely and an admirable romance the glory of a romance is its and this plot is crowded with fine sensations which have no rest until the fall of the famous old city and the final paid ma i ck nail round the red lamp by a author of the white company the adventures of etc fourth edition crown s the book is indeed composed of leaves from life and is far and away the best view that has been us behind the scenes of the consulting room it is ver superior to the of a late physician i london under the red robe by an author of a gentleman of france with twelve illustrations b r r eighth edition crown vo s a book of which we have read word tor the sheer pleasure of reading and which we put down with a pang we cannot forget it all and start again westminster every one who reads books at all must read this thrilling romance from the first page of which to the last the breathless reader is along an inspiration of and daily chronicle a delightful tale of chivalry and adventure vivid and dramatic with a wholesome modesty and reverence for the highest f mrs a flash of summer by mrs w k author of j aunt anne etc second edition crown vo s v the story is a very sad and a very beautiful one told and with many subtle touches of wise and tender insight it will undoubtedly add to its author s already in the ranks of s we must congratulate mrs upon a very successful and story told throughout with finish and a delicate sense of proportion qualities which indeed have always distinguished the best work of this very able writer guardian lawless by the lawless author of etc fifth edition crown s a of miss lawless most popular novel uniform with lawless a sixteenth century romance by the lawless author of etc second edition crown s a great book j there is no pleasure in life than the recognition of genius good work is than it used to be but the best is as rare as ever all the more gladly therefore do we welcome in a piece of work of the first order which we do not hesitate to describe as one of the most remarkable literary achievements of this generation miss lawless is possessed of the very essence of historical genius guardian messrs s list j h the green graves of by jane h third edition crown s a powerful and vivid st a story sad and strange as truth itself fair a work of remarkable interest and originality national a really original of education a very charming and pathetic pall a singularly original clever and beautiful story guardian the green graves of to us a new scotch writer of faculty and reserve force spectator an exquisite delicate and beautiful black and white with high and noble purpose it is one of the most wholesome stories we have met with and cannot fail to leave a deep and lasting impression e p a detail of the day by e f sixteenth edition crown w s a delightfully witty sketch of society spectator a perpetual feast of and speaker a writer of quite exceptional ability brilliantly n | 32 |
e f the by e f author of fifth edition crown s well written and in a word characteristic post an exceptional achievement a notable advance on his previous national observer m m by author of a girl in the third edition crown s the style is generally admirable the dialogue not seldom brilliant the situations surprising in their freshness and originality while the as well as the principal characters live and move and the story itself is from title page to co saturday review a very notable book a very at times delightfully written book daily mrs sir fortune by mrs crown s full of her own peculiar charm of style and simple subtle character painting comes her new gift the delightful story before us the scene mostly lies in the and at the touch of the a scotch becomes a living thing strong tender beautiful and pall mrs the two by mrs second edition crown s w e by w e author of de etc fourth edition crown s may safely be pronounced one of the most satisfactory and morally novels of the current year daily telegraph w e his grace by w e third edition crown s mr has drawn a really fine character in the duke of once and very true to the of life weak and strong in a breath capable of follies and heroic yet not so definitely as to relieve a reader of the necessity of study messrs s list w the lady and others by w j a of food fiction of which no one wiu tire an the of holiday companions k h o the stolen and other stories by il g wells of the time machine crown ni r the render of fiction may be glad to know that these stories are eminently one cover to the other but they are more than that they are the of a striking imagination which it would seem has a great deal within its reach s tales of mean streets by arthur fourth edition oo f told with and detail he tells a plain tale and the truth of it makes for beauty in the true humanity of the book lies its justification the of its interest and its triumph a great book the author s method is effective and produces a thrilling sense of the writer lays upon us a hand the book is simply appalling and in its it is humorous also without humour it make the it is certain to make ul j the king of a of society by j of the red etc iv s an interesting book it would not us if it turns oat to be the most interesting novel of the season for it one character at least has in him the root of immortality and the book itself is ever the sweet of the unexpected plot is and incident and only the really human and throughout this book there stands out in bold and beautiful relief high and james the master of the king of a r a most and story james is a whom it is good to know and to he is beautiful within and without whichever way we take the king of is a book which does credit not less to the heart than the head of its author the fact that her majesty the queen has been pleased to gracefully express to the author of the king of her interest in his work will doubtless find for it many readers vanity h a serious comedy by x there are many delightful places an this volume which is well worthy of its title theme bias been presented with more freshness or more force l b to the title by mrs author of mr smith etc second edition crown s the story is and healthy from beginning to finish and our liking for the two simple people are the to the title steadily and ends almost in respect sc the book is quite worthy to be with many clever p ss it is excellent reading messrs s list t l a home in by t l v ts a distinctly fresh and fascinating novel a book which bears marks of considerable promise a pleasant and well written story daily john miss s and other by john crown vo j the volume there is a strong vein of originality a strength in the handling and a knowledge of human nature that are worthy of the highest praise j b in the day of by j author of the plate etc crown s unusually interesting and full of highly dramatic situations guardian a story drawn from tint inexhaustible mine the time of louis xiv w mail h dr s by henry j crown vo s the story b of humour pathos and tenderness while it is not without a touch m tragedy a worthy and permanent contribution to literature herald a business in great waters by author of for god and gold etc crown vo s in stirring mr has done excellent work welcome alike for its distinctly and for the wholesome tone which it mr writes with immense spirit and the book is a thoroughly one in all respects the salt of the ocean b in it and the right ring re sounds through its gallant adventures speaker the cup a of adventure by author of snap editor of big game shooting illustrated crown vo j a book which will delight boys a book which the healthy code of morality a brilliant dick st of is an almost ideal a com of the knight and the mi a and ban in the midst of by robert author of from whose etc third edition crown vo s a book which has abundantly satisfied | 32 |
us by its capital humour z at chronicle mr has achieved a triumph whereof he has every reason to be pall l the king of a romance of the by crown s miss seems to have an intimate acquaintance with the people and politics of the countries in which the scene of her lively and picturesque romance is laid on almost ever page we find clever touches of local colour which her book from the ordinary novel of commerce the story is briskly told and well conceived herald messrs s list mn children of this world by f author of s case crown s mn s new novel has plenty of vigour variety and good writing there are certainty of purpose strength of touch and clearness of vision a my sweetheart by w author of the wreck of the etc fourth edition crown vo r a an electric spark by g m author of the s wife a double knot etc second edition crown s a simple and wholesome story m b time and the woman by richard author of miss s affections the quiet mrs etc second edition crown s mr s work the style of by its its literary reserve mn this man s dominion by the author of a high little world second edition crown s of london and other sketches by h b author of the web of the spider crown s by all those who delight in the uses of words who rate the exercise of prose above uie exercise of verse who rejoice in all proofs of its delicacy and its strength who believe that english prose is chief among the of thought by these mr s book will be welcomed aa observer m the stone by crown s the author s faults are for by certain positive and admirable merits the have not their in modem literature and to read them is a unique experience national observer e a s wife by crown s e m gray by e gray crown s three and novels crown by of by s by s subject to vanity by margaret the moving finger by mary gaunt by j h messrs s list by x l the coming of a romance of the heroic age of ireland by illustrated the gods give my donkey wings by the star by g the poison of by r the quiet mrs by r the plan of campaign by f robinson by f robinson mr butler s ward by f robinson a lost illusion by a reverend gentleman by j m a deplorable affair by w e a s by mrs half crown novels a series of by popular authors v c by f robinson children by g a double knot by g by m a marriage at sea by w in tent and by the author of indian my by e gray jack s father by w e jim b the true history of david son christian and by e edition post vo is books for boys and girls a series of books by well known authors well illustrated the s sword by s two little children and by e messrs s list s hero by m m only a guard room dog by e the doctor of the by harry wood master s by w or the boy who would not go to sea by g the library a series of books for girls by well authors hound in blue and silver and well illustrated a pinch of experience by l b the red by mrs the secret of madame de by the author of by mrs author of adam and eve out of the fashion by l t a girl of the people by l t by l t is the honourable miss by l t my land of by mrs university extension series a series of books on historical literary and scientific suitable for extension students and home reading circles e h volume is complete in itself and the subjects are treated by competent writers in a broad and spirit by j e m a principal of university college crown oo price with some exceptions s d tke following volumes are ready the history of england by h de b m a late scholar of college fourth edition with maps and plans a compact and clear of our a of this bnt book cannot fail to give the reader a clear insight into the phenomena our r the editor and are to be on this first of their and we shall look with interest for the succeeding of the series messrs s list a history of english political economy by l l price m fellow of college second edition problems of poverty an inquiry into the conditions of the poor by j a m a third edition poets by a sharp the french revolution by j e m a by f s m a in philosophy at university college the of plant life lower forms by g masses gardens with air and water professor v b m a illustrated the of life and health by c w m a illustrated the of daily life by v p m a illustrated english social h de b m a english trade and in the seven century by w a s b a the of fire the principles of m m a illustrated a text book of agricultural by m c m a f l s illustrated d the vault of heaven a popular introduction to by r a with numerous illustrations the elements of weather and climate by h n f r s e f r met illustrated a manual of science by george j m a with numerous illustrations j the earth an introduction to by small m a illustrated insect life by f w m a illustrated english poetry from to by w m m | 32 |
a english local government by e m a professor of law at university college liverpool messrs s list social questions of to day by h b m a a series of upon those topics of social and interest that are at the present moment foremost in the public mind each volume of the series is written by an author who is an acknowledged authority upon the subject with which he of the series are ready trade new and old by g author of the of capital and labour second edition the co movement to day by g j author of the history of co operation second edition mutual by rev j m a author of the friendly society movement problems of poverty an inquiry into the conditions of the poor by j a m a third edition the commerce of nations by c f m a professor of at college the alien invasion by w h b a secretary to the society for preventing the of destitute the rural by p land by a shorter working day by h de b and r a of the works back to the land an inquiry into the cure for rural by h pools and corners as affecting commerce and industry by j m r i f s s the factory system by r the state and its children by women s work by lady miss and miss messrs s list at work the policy of six great towns and its influence on their social welfare by and modern thought by m the of the working classes by r f modern in some of its aspects by w d d fellow of college cambridge classical by h f fox m a fellow and of college oxford messrs are issuing a new series of from the greek and latin they have the services of some of the best oxford and cambridge scholars and it is their intention that the series shall be distinguished by literary excellence as well as by accuracy ch translated by ll d late professor of greek at st j de i translated by e n p r m a assistant master at d select pro pro ll in translated by h e d m a fellow and of college oxford j de translated by f m a late scholar of college oxford d six the cock the ship the the lover of falsehood translated by s t m a assistant master at late scholar of college oxford d and translated by e d a m a late scholar of new college oxford assistant master at x tl and translated by r r late scholar of college cambridge s d messrs s list books class with introduction notes map etc by r f m a assistant master at college crown by the editor crown s easy with by a c m a assistant master at high school s is d from the by e d stone m a late assistant master at vo is d the adapted for lower forms by j h m a late fellow of st john s cambridge is d against and with notes and by f swift m a formerly scholar of queen s college oxford assistant master at college o s german a companion german grammar by h de b m a assistant master at high school crown is d german passages for unseen translation by e m queen gray crown s d the world of science including heat light sound and by r steel m a f illustrations second edition crown vo s d f mr s manual is admirable in many ways the book is well calculated to attract and retain the attention of the young saturday review if mr steel is to be placed second to any for this quality of it is only to himself and to be named in the same breath with this master of the craft of teaching is to be with the clearness of style and simplicity of that belong to thorough mastery of subject parents review light by r e steel with numerous illustrations crown vo d messrs s list h english records a companion to the history of england by h e m a crown w d a book which aims at upon dates i officials constitutional documents etc which is usually found scattered m different volumes the english citizen his rights and duties by h e m a i d the book goes ver the same ground as is traversed in the school books on this subject written to the of the education code it would serve admirably the purposes of a text book a it is well based in historical facts and keeps quite clear of party matters s commercial series by h b m a british commerce and colonies from to victoria by h de b m a author of the history of england etc etc s commercial examination papers by h de b m a is d the of commerce by h de b m a is d a manual of french commercial by s e modem language master at the grammar school s a french commercial reader by s e commercial geography with special reference to trade new and districts by l w m a of the academy s a of business by s m a is td commercial by f g m a is d messrs s list works by a m m m a easy lessons on second edition is first latin lessons fourth edition crown wo is first latin reader with notes adapted to the shorter latin and second edition crown u d easy from caesar part i the war is easy from part i the kings of rome is d easy latin passages for unseen tion third edition is d first lessons in latin with crown is easy latin exercises on the of the shorter and latin | 32 |
a friend of home on leave from india whence he brought news of his fellow actually drove up to the door when pushed by an conscience he did at last come in lord easily persuaded himself that there really was not time before dinner for the momentous conversation moreover being very full of the milk of human kindness he found it infinitely more agreeable to hear the praises of the absent son than to fall foul of the present son so that it was not till quite late that night by which time he was slightly sleepy while his anger had sensibly that the interview did actually take place now then march off to the place of execution said sweetly as he picked up his bedroom it was a deep and subtle thought that of bringing down only did you think of it or was it just a bit of your usual luck lord smiled rather upon his prosperous and it may be added slightly brother well i don t deny it did occur to me it might work he sir richard admitted and after all you know one mercy is there s no real vice about his dear old lord about the library his expression that of a well nourished and healthy but rather infant oh ah well so here you are he said unpleasant business this of yours uncommonly disagreeable business for both of us unpleasant business the younger man echoed heartily he closely resembled his father in looks save that he was dean shaven and of a lighter build both father and son had the same slight in speaking he repeated nobody can feel that more than i do can t they though said lord with a innocent air of surprise there sit down won t you it s a painful thing to do but we ve got to talk it over i suppose well of course if you re kind enough to give me the time you know that s rather what i came down here for so you did though the elder man returned brightening as though making an discovery then fearing he was forgetting his part and becoming amiable too rapidly he made a gallant effort to whip up his indignation it s very distressing to me to put it so plainly but in my opinion it s a disgraceful business oh i give you my word i know it lord replied with most his father affected with difficulty not to hear the remark it doesn t do for a man in your position to be owing money all over the country it brings the aristocracy into contempt with the shop keeping class they re always on the for the of their those people and they do pay their debts you see they ve always got such a thundering lot of money lord put in don t know how they d contrive to spend it unless they did pay their debts oh ah yes his father hesitated it struck him was a reasonable fellow very reasonable and he took the whole matter in a very proper spirit in short it was not easy to blow up lord thrust his hands far down into his pockets and turned sideways in the great leather covered chair i m not narrow minded or prejudiced he b an i always have kept on civil terms with those sort of people and always will courtesy is an obligation on the part of a gentleman a slip cup and lip and a christian i d as soon be rude to my tailor as eat with my knife but a man must respect his own rank or others won t respect it especially in these nasty radical times you must stand by your class there s a vulgar proverb about the bird that its own nest you know well i never did that i ve always stood by my own class helped my poor brother you can t remember him weren t born at the time to run away with lady jane low common fellow i never liked she left all that money you know wish to goodness she d left it to me murmured lord eh inquired his father then he fell into a vein nasty things i never did approve of leave other men s wives alone the younger man s mouth worked a little the nuisance is sometimes they won t leave you alone lord gazed at him a moment very oh ah well i suppose they won t he said and he chuckled anyhow i stood by your poor uncle he was my brother of course and she was a second cousin of your mother s so i felt bound to and i saw them across the channel and into the paris train dreadfully bad crossing that night i remember no private to be had and lady jane was dreadfully ill never take your wife to sea on your honey moon it s too great a risk that business cost me a lot of money one way and another and let me in for a most painful scene with afterwards but as i say you re bound to stand by your own class that ll be my only reason for helping you you understand if i do help you and i am sure i hope you will the young man rose and stood with his back to the fire and his hands under his coat tails he stooped a little looking down at the hearth rug between his feet his clothes not yet paid for or likely to be claimed admiration so did the length of his legs and the neatness of his narrow i can only assure you i shall be most awfully grateful if you do help me he said quietly i don t pretend to deserve it | 32 |
but that doesn t lessen gratitude rather the other way don t you know i shall never forget it won t you though and for the life of him lord could not help beaming upon this handsome prodigal uncommonly high sir richard bred looking fellow he said to himself don t wonder women run after him uncommonly high bred and shows very nice feeling too and then the kindly and simple gentleman drew himself up with a mental jerk remembering that he was there to curse rather than to bless he violently not that i have actually made up my mind to help you yet he went on i am very much inclined to cast you adrift it me to put it to you so plainly but you are extravagant you know oh i know the young man admitted you re a selfish fellow lord became yes it s extremely painful to me to say it to you but you are downright selfish and that in the long run comes uncommonly hard on your sisters good girls your sisters never given your mother or me any trouble your sisters but money has to come from somewhere and each time i pay your debts i have to cut down your sisters portions yes i know and that s what s made me so to come to you about my affairs lord said in tones of perfectly genuine regret is it though his father commented good fellow at heart he added to himself very proper feeling always was a good hearted fellow i can only tell you i ve been awfully wretched about it for the last three months have you though said lord with sympathy i got just about as low as i well could i felt i was nothing but a nuisance and it was to think of the girls don t you know i came precious near cutting my only that seemed rather a dirty way of getting out of it all so it is poor boy quite right nasty mean way of your quite agree with you i have never had any opinion of a man who cut his throat never mention such a thing he blew his nose never talk of such a thing he repeated and poor boy i pay your debts only i tell you this really is the last time there must be no misunderstanding about that you must reform if it s only on account of your sisters i don t want to take an unfair advantage of you in alluding to your sisters only you must understand clearly this is the last time you see it s becoming too frequent i don t want to press the case against you but you recollect i m sure you do a slip cup and lip i paid your debts in fifty eight and again in sixty two or was it yes it must have been sixty three because that was the year my poor friend tom died good fellow i missed and they wanted me to take over the hounds nice fellow in the hunting field never saw him lose his temper but once and that was when image rode over the hounds on the edge of wood rather coarse sort of brute image put in lord and had such an excellent manner with the farmers genial and cheery very cheery at times and yet without any loss of dignity great test of a man s breeding that being cheery without loss of dignity now my poor friend oh i ah yes where was i though your debts now yes it must have been sixty three because they all wanted me to succeed him as master and i had to tell them i could not afford it so it must have been just after i cleared you he looked at his son with the most engaging air of appeal and remonstrance really it won t do he repeated you must reform it s becoming too frequent you d better travel for a time that s the proper thing for a man in your position to do when he s in low water not of course i wouldn t on any account have you but three weeks or a month hence when things are getting into shape just travel for a time arrange it all for you only never talk of cutting your throat again and you quite understand this is positively the last time i am very much in earnest my dear boy nothing will move me this settlement is final and we ll just run up quietly to town to morrow and have a talk with my lawyers fox and very civil and fellow he may be able to make some suggestions very nice confidential person knows how to hold his tongue and doesn t ask unnecessary questions useful man which things coming to the knowledge of lady barking moved her at once to wrath and to deepened conviction that the moment for decisive action had arrived it appeared to her that her father had put himself out of court his weakness regarding his eldest son had practically delivered him into her hand she congratulated herself upon the good which is thus permitted to spring out of evil yet while that a just providence sometimes at all events human folly to the production of happy results she was by no means disposed to spare the mortal whose individual o sir richard foolishness had given the divine wisdom its opportunity therefore when some few days later lord called on her after a third or fourth interview with messrs fox and beaming from the sense of a merciful action accomplished she received him in a distinctly manner the great white and gold drawing rooms in gate were not more or than the bearing of their | 32 |
mistress as she suffered her father s embrace and that amiable nobleman notwithstanding his large frame and exalted social position felt himself shiver inwardly in the presence of his daughter even as he could remember shivering when as a small he had been summoned to the dread presence of the very good rooms these of yours he began hastily always have admired these rooms capital space for entertaining barking was quite right to secure the house as soon as it was in the market i told him at the time he would never regret it lady did not answer but called after the retreating footman who had just brought in a stately and limited tea tray much silver and little food i am not at home william then as she put small and accurate measures of tea into a massive she added severely what is all this i hear about papa oh ah yes poor came up to town together again to day good hearted fellow your brother but thoughtless however i have had a most satisfactory talk with my men of business fox and i know barking does not think much of fox and wanted me to go to his own lawyers and banquet but if anyone serves you you should not leave them it s against my principles to turn off those who serve me i told barking so at the time i remember it came out of the business about your wasn t it or the last time i paid s he cleared his throat hurriedly i see the house is being done up he continued nice young fellow but i never can help feeling a certain awkwardness with him takes you up rather short in conversation too sometimes terribly distressing thing his and all that both for himself and lady hope perhaps she doesn t feel it as some women would though woman lady and very good woman of business still never feel quite at my ease with lady can t help wondering how they ll do in london you know rather difficult thing his going about much with that a slip cup and lip lady held out a small her high penetrating voice asserted itself resolutely against her father s kindly stumbling chatter as she asked is it true you are not coming up from this season oh tea yes thank you very much my dear no well i think possibly we may not come up this year believes he has heard of a very eligible tenant for the square house very eligible and so nothing actually decided yet but i think very possibly we may not come up he spoke regarding his daughter over the small with an expression of entreaty every feature of his handsome innocent countenance begged her not to deal harshly with him but lady remained s conduct is becoming a positive scandal she said not conduct my dear no not conduct only money protested lord if money is not conduct i really don t know what is retorted his daughter i do not pretend to go in for such fine distinctions in any case mr barking heard the most shocking at his club the other day did he though ejaculated lord he was too considerate to tell me anything very definite but he felt that going out and seeing everybody as of course i have to it was only right i should have some hint of what was being said is talking about you imagine how perfectly intolerable it is for me to feel that my brother s debts are being in this sort of way i am very sorry there should be any gossip lord said humbly nasty thing gossip lies too mostly all of it nasty low thing gossip and of course your all not coming up will give colour to it will it though i never thought of that you always see straight through things you have by far the best head in the family except uncommonly clever fellow wonder if i had better talk it all over with if you and he agree in thinking our not coming up will make more talk why if only on s account i but this was not in the least the turn which his daughter desired the conversation to take pray remember you have other children besides papa she said hastily and for s sake run no sir richard further risk of yourself it is obvious that you must save where you can if there is the chance of a good let for the square house it would be madness to refuse it and after all you do not really care about london if there are any important in the lords you can always come up for a night or so it does not matter about you oh doesn t it though lord put in quite humbly and gently and would always rather stay on at only it must not appear as if we were the least uncomfortable at meeting people i shall make it a point to go everywhere i shall be dreadfully of course but i feel it a duty to all of you to do so and i should like the girls to go out too people must not suppose they have no gowns to their backs and have had several seasons i am less worried about them but must be seen she is looking extremely pretty isn t she though lord in brightening the picture of those backs had depressed him yes and she must have every advantage i have quite decided that she must come up to me at once i shall write to and point out to her how necessary it is that one of the girls at least should be very much en evidence this year and i am most anxious it should be as i | 32 |
gracious content her aspect richard looked round and down at her half laughing unquestionably he was handsome seen thus uplifted above the throng handling his fine horses all trace of bodily concealed a touch of old world and tender respect in his manner as he addressed his mother sir richard watched the little scene with close attention then as the ranks of the smart procession closed up again hiding the carriage and its occupants from sight he leaned back with a movement of quiet and turned to his companion miss st sat round in her presenting her slender dust coloured lace and silk clad person in to the by and so her as to defy recognition the expression of her pale face and singular eyes was far from encouraging indeed and why permitted himself to remark in tones of polite inquiry i had been led to believe that you and lady c were on terms of rather warm friendship we are answered that is at forgive my but why not in london the young lady looked full at him mr she asked is it true that you are responsible for this new departure of theirs for their coming up i mean responsible you do me too great an honour who am i that i should direct the action of my brother man but lady is good enough to trust me a little and i own that i a of the existing crossed his long legs and fell to nursing one knee it is no breach of confidence to tell you since you know the fact already that fate an alien element should itself into the situation at last autumn i need name no names i think s head was raised she regarded him but made no sign ah i need not name names he repeated i thought not well after the alien element removed itself the two facts may have no connection lady very certainly never implied that they had but as i remarked after the alien element removed itself it was that our poor dear became a trifle difficult a trifle in plain english most remarkably and far from delightful to live with and his mother it s too bad altogether too bad broke out hotly too bad of whom mr asked with the utmost of the nameless alien element or of poor dear dick the young lady closed her slowly and turning faced the crowd again of sir richard of course she said her companion did not answer immediately his eyes a slip cup and lip pursued a receding carriage far down the string amid the gaily shifting sunshine and shadow and the fluttering lace and grey feathers of a woman s bonnet when he spoke at last it was with an unusual trace of feeling after all you know there are a good many excuses for richard if it comes to that there are a good many excuses for de put in quickly for for the young man repeated into the of smiles yes thanks i see i was right it was unnecessary to name names oh undoubtedly innumerable excuses and of the most description were they needed were they not swallowed up in the single self evident excuse that the lady you mention is a clever and person you think so said think so show me the man so indifferent to his reputation for taste that he could venture to think otherwise still she should have left him alone s indolent speech took on a peculiar and she pressed her long hands together as though a shudder i i m ashamed to confess it i do not like him but as i told you just on that account pardon me on what account miss st was quick to resent impertinence and now anger struggled with her natural sincerity but the latter conquered again she forgave mr yet a dull flush spread itself over her pale skin and he perceived that she was distinctly moved this his curiosity i know i m awfully foolish about some things she said i can t bear to speak of them i dread seeing them the sight of them takes the warmth out of the sunshine again fell to nursing his knee what an amazing invention is the feminine mind what endless entertainment is from striving to follow its and you saw that which takes the warmth out of the sunshine just now he said ah well alas for still i can t bear anyone not to play fair you should only hit a man your own size i told de so fm very very fond of her but she ought to have spared him she paused a moment all the same if i had not promised lady to stay on as she s so poorly i should have gone out of town when i found the had come up sir richard oh it goes as far as that does it murmured i don t like to see them with all these people the extent to which he is and becomes rather horrible are you not slightly i ask it with all due deference and humility just slightly merciless no no the girl answered earnestly i don t think i m that the women who run after him and flatter him so are really more merciless than i am i do not pretend to like him i can t like him somehow but i m growing most sorry for him and still more sorry for his mother she was very grand a person altogether satisfying to one s imagination and sense of fitness at home with that noble house and park and racing stable for setting but here she is of her glory somehow the girl rose to her feet with lazy grace she is and that | 32 |
s a pity there are more than enough pretty cheap people among us already i must go there s sir looking for me if i could be sure lady hated it all i should be more reconciled possibly she does hate it all only that it presents itself as the least of two evils there is a touch of dancing dogs about it and that me miss st continued it is lady s to be apart separate from and superior to the rest the thing s being done as well as it can be mr put in mildly it shouldn t be done at all the girl declared here i am sir you want to go on i m quite ready chapter iii in which tries to nail up the weather glass to set fair it is to be feared that intimate acquaintance with lady s present attitude of mind would not have proved altogether satisfactory to that ardent st for as the busy weeks of the london season went forward grew far from it all at first she had found the varied interests and persons presented to her the rapid of thought the constant movement of society bewildering but as march a slip cup and lip had foretold old habits themselves the great world and the ways of it had been familiar to her in her youth she soon found herself walking in its ways again with ease and speaking its language with and this though in itself of but sm l moment to her procured her indirectly a happiness as greatly desired as it had been little anticipated for to richard the great world was as yet something of an country going forth into it he felt shy and though a lively curiosity possessed him the and more modest elements of his nature came into play he was sensible of his own and turned with instinctive trust and tender respect to her in whom experience was not lacking he had never so he told himself quite understood how fine a lady his mother was how conspicuous was her charm and distinguished her intelligence and he clung to her grown man though he was even as a child entering a bright room full of guests to its mother s hand finding therein much comfort of encouragement and support he desired she should share all his interests reckoning nothing worth the doing in which she had not a part he consulted her before each undertaking talked and laughed over it with her in private afterwards thereby unconsciously securing to her days a of the heart of infinite sweetness so that she on her part thanked god and took courage and indeed it might very well appear to that her heroic remedy was on the road to work an effectual cure the terror of lawless passion and of evil provoked by that fair woman clothed as with the sea waves crowned and shod with gold whom she had so in spirit in the wild autumn night departed from her she began to fear no more for surely her son was wholly given back to her his heart still free his life still innocent and not only did this terror depart but her anguish at his was strangely lessened the pain of it as by the action of an for witnessing the young man s popularity seeing him so universally and welcomed observing his manifest power of attraction she began to ask herself whether she had not exaggerated the misfortune of that same and the that it offered to his career and chances of personal happiness she had been morbid the world evidently saw in his no such horror and hopeless bar to success as she had seen it was therefore a dear world a world rich in consolation and promise it smiled upon richard and so she smiled upon it gratefully finding in the of sir richard her no wares save honest ones set out for sale in the of vanity fair a large arose in her she began to form projects calculated as she believed to the gladness of the present among other tender customs of richard s boyhood into which at this happy period drifted back was that of going now and again to his room at night and with him for a merry yet somewhat pathetic half hour before herself retiring to rest it fell out that towards the middle of june there had been a dinner party at the on a scale of magnificence unusual even in that house it was not the second or even the third time richard and his mother had dined in gate for lady had proved the most attentive of neighbours little lady was with her the young girl had brightened of late her was by a timid and appealing she had been seized moreover with one of those innocent and absorbing towards lady that young girls often entertain towards an elder woman following her about with a sort of dog like fidelity and watching her with eyes full of wistful admiration on the present occasion the guests at the barking dinner had been of distinction members of the then existing government a of foreign from the various had been present together with various smart women later there had been a reception largely attended and music the finest that europe could produce and money could buy giddy heights mr had said to himself with an attempt at irony but in point of fact he was far from displeased for it appeared to him the house of barking showed to uncommon advantage to night has no staying power in conversation and her voice is too loud but in she is rather impressive he added and oh how very is driving home richard kept silence until just as the drew up then he said abruptly tired no that s right then come and sit with me | 32 |
not in love at least not in love with any person who can become my wife yet that does not seem to me to matter very much i should be faithful no fear to anyone who was good enough to marry me enough of love would come if only out of gratitude towards the woman who would accept me as as i am and forgive that that which cannot be helped again trembling shook so terribly much seemed to her at stake just then silently she implored that wisdom and clear seeing might be accorded her she leaned a little forward and taking his left hand held it closely in both hers dearest that is not all tell me all she said or i cannot quite follow your thought richard flung his body sideways across the bed and kissed her hands as they held his the hot colour rushed over his face and neck up to the roots of his close curly hair he spoke lying thus upon his chest his face half buried in the sheet i want to marry because because i want a child i want a son he said no words came to just then but she disengaged one hand and laid it upon the dear brown head and waited in silence until the violence of the young man s emotion had spent itself until the broad muscular shoulders had ceased to heave and the strong young hands to grasp her wrist suddenly richard recovered himself sat up rubbing his hands across his eyes laughing but with a queer catch in his voice i b g your pardon he said i m a fool an awful fool sir richard hang and her voice and the golden houses of the gods and to which her voice carries one away to talk sense mother just brutal common sense my fate is fixed you know there s no earthly use in i am condemned to live a cow s life and die a cow s death the pride of life may call but i can t answer the great are not for me i m too heavily i was looking at that young fellow to night and considering his chances as against my own oh i know there s wealth in plenty the pasture s green enough to make many a man it and the stall s well down i don t complain only mother you know i know where s the use of denying that which we neither of us ever really forget and then sometimes my blood takes fire it did to night and the splendour of living being denied me i i am tempted to say a black mass one must take it out somehow and i know i could go to the devil as few men have ever gone with and of he laughed again a httle and hearing him his mother s heart stood still verily i have advantages he continued there should be a in my descent to hell which would go far to place my name at the head of the list of those who have achieved immortality richard richard i lady cried do you want to break my heart quite no he answered simply i d infinitely rather not break your heart i have no ambition to see my name in that devil s list except as an uncommonly sort of second best but then we must make some change some radical change at times lately i ve felt as if i was a wild beast blinded its claws cut the bars of its cage and no hope of escape and yet the vigour the immense longing for freedom and activity there all the while richard stretched himself poor beast poor beast poor beast he said shaking his head and smiling i tell you i get sentimental over it at times and then happily there came a momentary lapse in the of his he turned on his side took lady s hand again and fell to playing with her you poor darling how i torture you he said and yet now we ve once broken the ice and b im talking of all this we re a slip cup and lip bound to talk on to the finish if finish there is you see these few weeks in london i ve enjoyed them but still they ve made me understand more than ever all i ve missed life calls mother do you see and though the beast is blind and his claws are cut and his cage bolted yet when life calls he must answer must or run or die do you see and you shall answer my beloved never fear you will answer replied proudly richard s hand closed hard upon hers thank you he said you were made to be a mother of heroes not of a useless log like me and that s just why i want to be good and to be good i want a wife that i may have that boy i could keep straight for him mother though i m afraid i can t keep straight for myself and simply because it s right much longer i want him to have just all that i am denied i want him to restore the balance both for you and for me i may have something of a career myself perhaps in politics or something it s possible but that will come later if it comes at all and then it would be for his sake what i want first is the boy to give me an object and keep up my pluck and keep me steady i giving him life shall find my life in him be paid for my wretched existence by his goodly and complete one he may be clever | 32 |
or not i d rather of course he was not quite a but i really don t very much mind so long as he isn t an outrageous fool if he s only an entirely sound and healthy human animal richard stretched himself upon the bed straightened the sheet across his chest and clasped his hands under his head again the desolation had gone out of his eyes he seemed to look afar into the future and therein see manly satisfaction and content his voice was rising to a kind of chant he shall run and he shall swim he shall fence and he shall row he said he shall all gallant sports as becomes an english and he shall ride not as i ride god forbid like a monkey on a dog at a fair but as a as a young god we will set him naked on a bare backed horse and see that he s clean perfect without spot or from head to heel and once more held her peace somewhat amazed somewhat tremulous since it seemed to her the young man was drawing a upon the future which might only too probably be and returned marked no account for who dare say that this child would ever come to the birth or coming what form it would bear yet even so sir richard she rejoiced in her son and the high spirit he displayed while the instinct of romance which inspired his speech touched an answering in and uplifted her by now the june night was nearly spent the blind still against the open window but the of horse hoofs and beat of passing footsteps had become while the roar of the mighty city had to a murmur as of an tide upon a sand strewn beach the after light of the sunset walking the horizon beneath the pole star from west to east upward now towards the even here in the heart of london the day broke with a spacious solemnity richard raised himself and sitting up blew out the candles placed on the table at the bedside mother he said will you let in the morning lady was pale from her long and her yet searching emotion she appeared very tall even in her soft white as she moved across and drew up the blind above the grey of the houses and the ranks of chimney pots the loveliness of the summer dawn grew wide warm shaded through of exquisite and nameless colour into blue while across this last lay lines of fringed semi transparent cloud to those heavenly blue spoke of peace of the of all strife when the tragic yet superb human story should at last be fully told and god be in all she was very tired the struggle was so prolonged her soul cried out for rest and then she reminded herself almost sternly that the kingdom of god and the peace of it is no matter of time or of place but is within the devout ever present immediate possessing his or her soul and by that soul in turn possessed just then the in the garden of the square awoke with manifold and and chattering the voice from the bed called to her mother it said come to me you are not angry at what i have told you you understand you will find her for me lady turned away from the open window and the loveliness of the summer dawn she was less tired somehow god was with her so she could not be otherwise than hopeful moreover the world had proved itself very kind towards her son it would not deny him this last request surely my dearest i think i have found her already lady answered a slip cup and lip yet even as she spoke she faltered a little the energy and strength in the young man s countenance remembering his late discourse and the pent up fires of his nature to which that discourse had e only too eloquent testimony for who was a young girl but just out of the a girl in pretty fresh the last word of contemporary fashion whose baby face and slow wide eyed gaze bore witness to her entire innocence of the great primitive necessities the rather brutal joys the intimate vices the far intellectual which rule and mould the action of mankind who was she indeed to cope with a nature such as richard s mother tell me who is it and instinctively fell to pleading she sat down beside the bed again and smoothed the sheet you will be tender and loving to her she said for she is young and very gentle and might easily be made afraid you will not forget what is due to your w e to your bride in your longing for a child who is it richard demanded again s sister little lady he drew in his breath sharply would she would her people consent he said i think so judging by appearances i am almost sure they would consent a long silence followed richard lay still looking at the rosy flush that in the morning sky and touched the of those delicate clouds with living colour and he flushed too all his being softened into a great tenderness a great shyness a quick yet noble shame for his whole attitude towards this question of marriage changed strangely as it passed from the abstract from regions of vague purpose and desire to the to the thought of a maiden with name and local habitation a maiden actual and accessible whose image he could recall whose pretty looks and speech he knew i almost wish she was not s sister though he remarked presently it is a great deal to ask you have a great deal to offer said adding you can care for her he turned his head his lips | 32 |
working a little his flushed face very young and bright oh yes i can care fast enough he said and i think i think i could make her happy and you see already she you we would pet her mother and give her all sir richard manner of pretty things and make a little queen of her and she would be pleased she s a child such a child richard remained awake far into the morning till the rose had died out of the sky and the ascending smoke of many kitchen chimneys began to stain the expanse of heavenly blue the thought of his possible bride was very sweet to him but when at last sleep came dreams came likewise de perfect face arose in reproach before him and her and purple swept over him stifling and choking him as the salt waves of an angry sea then it was the comely long young soldier mr whom he had been last night at the great party when sang and the s voice was mixed up in the strangest fashion with all these transactions lifted and all her magic sea waves from off him setting him free but even as he did so perceived that it was not after all whom the young soldier carried in his arms but little lady whereupon waking with a start conceived a wholly of mr while along with that his purpose of marrying lady increased strong and grew putting forth all manner of fair flowers of promise and of hope chapter iv a lesson upon the parents obey your children a family council was in course of holding in the lofty white j and gold overlooking the park in gate lady barking had summoned it she had also exercised a measure of selection among intending members for instance i margaret and lady the former having a disposition in the opinion of her elder sister to put herself forward and support the good cause with zeal than discretion the latter being but a weak of the cause at best were dismissed it was really perfectly unnecessary to discuss this sort of thing before the younger girls she said it put them out of their place and rather rubbed the freshness off their minds and then they would chatter among themselves and it all became a little foolish and they never knew when to stop a slip cup and lip one member of the and that a leading one had taken his dismissal before it was given and with a nice mixture of moral courage and good common sense had removed himself bodily from the neighbourhood of the scene of action lord was still in london along with the payment of his debts had come a remarkable increase of cheerfulness he made no more allusions to the unpleasant subject of cutting his throat while the proposed foreign tour had been to a vague future it seemed a pity not to see the season out it would be little short of a crime to miss he might go out with to india in the autumn when that young soldier s leave had expired and look up a bit he would rather like a turn at pig sticking and there were plenty of pig he understood in the neighbourhood of where his brother was now stationed on the morning in question lord in excellent spirits had walked down with his father from his rooms in street to gate the elder gentleman arriving from by an early train had himself with a share of the by no means breakfast of which his eldest son was at a little after half past ten it was very much too good a breakfast for a person in lord s existing financial position so indeed were the rooms so in respect of locality was street itself lord knew this no man better yet he was pleased impressed even by the luxury with which his son was surrounded and proceeded to praise his cook praise his s waiting at table praise some fine old sporting prints upon the wall he went so far indeed as to chuckle faithful husband though he was over certain photographs of ladies more fair and kind than wise which were stuck in the frame of the looking glass over the chimney piece in return for which acts of good fellowship lord accompanied him as far as the steps of the mansion in gate there he paused remarking with the most frankness i would come in i want to awfully i assure you i quite agree with you about all this affair you know and i should uncommonly like to let the others know it but between ourselves s been so short with me lately so short if pardon my saying so that it s become downright disagreeable to me to run across her so i m afraid i might only make matters worse all round don t you know if i put in an appearance this morning has she though ejaculated lord in reference sir richard to his eldest daughter s reported my dear boy don t think of it i wouldn t have you exposed to unnecessary on any account then as he followed the groom of the up the bare white marble staircase which struck almost vault like in its chill and silence after the heat and glare and turmoil of the great without he added to himself good fellow has his faults but upon my word when you come to think of it so have all of us very sensible fellow at bottom always when you talk to him no nonsense about him hb sighed as he climbed the marble stair great comfort to me at times shows very proper feeling on the present occasion but naturally feels a about expressing it thus in | 32 |
the end it happened that the family council consisted only of the lady of the house her sister lady mr and the parent whom all three of them were each in their several ways so perfectly willing to instruct in his duty towards his children perhaps displayed less alacrity than usual in offering good advice to his father his policy was rather that of indeed as the hot his sisters voices rising slightly in tone while lord s replies disclosed a vein of dogged obstinacy he withdrew from the field of battle and moved slowly round the room staring at the pictures there was a female head by a couple of by a little trees and distant swept by wind and weather but upon these the young man bestowed scant attention that which fascinated his gaze was a series of half length portraits in oval frames representing his parents himself his sisters and brothers these portraits were the work of a lady whose artistic gifts and whose prices were alike modest they were in coloured and had after her own sitting room for a number of years been given as a wedding present by lady to her eldest daughter mr them leisurely now looking over his shoulder now and again to note how the tide of battle rolled and raising his eyebrows in mute protest when the voices of the two ladies became more than usually elevated you see papa you have not been here lady was saying no i haven t interrupted lord and very a slip cup and lip much i regret that i haven t should have done my best to put a stop to this engagement at the outset before there was any engagement at all in and so you cannot possibly know how the whole thing any breaking off i mean would be regarded can t i though said lord i know perfectly well how i should r ard it myself you do not take the advantages sufficiently into consideration papa of course with their enormous wealth they can afford to do mr s income was far from at this period and lady was liable to be at once en of and injured by the riches of others her wardrobe was limited she was this morning conscious of a warmer hue in the back than in the front breadth of her dress decorated with bows of but indifferently white ribbon it has enabled them to make an immense success one really gets rather tired of hearing about them but everybody goes to their house you know and says that he is perfectly charming half the parents in london would jump at the chance of one of their girls making such a marriage this from lady mr looked over his shoulder and a conviction that his father did not belong to that active parental he sat on a straight backed white and gold chair his hands clasped on the top of his favourite gold headed walking stick he had refused to part with this weapon on entering the house it gave him a sense of authority of security meanwhile his habitually placid and countenance wore an expression of the worry would they though he said in response to his daughter s information regarding the jumping well i shouldn t in point of fact i don t all that you and tell me may be perfectly true my dear i would not for a moment attempt to your statements and i don t wish to be stupid thing sign of weakness still i must repeat and i do repeat i repeat dearly that i do not approve of this engagement did i not long long ago what my father s attitude would be mr murmured gently over his shoulder then he fell to contemplating the portrait of his brother aged seven who was represented arrayed in a of singular confined at the waist by sir richard a black leather belt and carrying like in his hands a bow and arrows decorated with sky blue ribbons were my brothers and i actually such looking little he asked himself in that case the years do bring we really bear fewer outward traces of utter now i don t wish to be harsh with you my never have been harsh to my knowledge with any one of my children believe in kindness have been with my children and as consequence thereof note my eldest brother s frequent to the commented mr softly the sweet simplicity of this of him armed with a green bait tin and fishing rod hardly shadows forth the copious of recent times never have approved of continued lord still i do feel i should have been given an opportunity of speaking my mind sooner i ought to have been referred to in the first place it was my right it was due to me i don t wish to assert my authority in a t manner hate tyranny always have hated parental tyranny still i feel that it was due to me and quite with me talked in a very nice gentlemanly high minded way about it all this morning did the two ladies exchanged glances drawing themselves up with an assumption of and severity really exclaimed lady it seems a pity papa that s actions are not a little more in keeping with his conversation then but lord only grasped the head of his the himself the while on the firmness both of his mental and physical attitude oh ah yes he said rising to heights of quite reckless defiance i know there is a great deal of prejudice against just now among you he alluded to it this morning with a great deal of feeling he was not bitter but he is very much hurt is you are hard on him it is a painful thing to observe | 32 |
oh i ah yes he said directing his gaze upon the tree tops in the park i quite accept m you tell me i don t want to from your friend s merits poor mean sort of thing to from any man s friend s merits young fellow the little i have seen of him reminds me of my poor friend his father i liked his father but you see my dear boy there is well there s no denying it there is and quite of course papa we all know what you mean lady interposed with a certain and it must be owned i have never pretended there was not something one had to get accustomed to but really you forget all about it almost immediately does one can see that don t they if you had met sir richard everywhere as we have this season you would how very very soon that is quite forgotten is it though said lord somewhat his face had returned to a sadly condition yes i assure you nobody thinks of it after just the first little shock don t you know this from lady i think one feels it is not quite nice to dwell on a thing of that kind her sister in again it ought to be ignored from a girl the speaker had enjoyed a reputation for great refinement of mind i t it to being more than not nice echoed lady i think it is positively wrong for nobody can sir richard tell what accident may not happen to any of us at any moment and so i am not at all sure that it is not actually to make a thing like that into a serious objection you know papa there must be people in some families just as there is consumption or insanity or under breeding or mr softly murmured it becomes evident my dear father you must not expect too much of sons or i of brothers in law think of old lord i mean the great of the present man of course of his temper lady proceeded r of comment it amounted almost to and yet lady would certainly have married him there never was any question about it would she though bad old man never did approve of of course she would mrs who always has been devoted to her told me so did she though said lord but the marriage was broken off my dear he made this remark triumphantly feeling it showed great oh dear no indeed it wasn t his daughter replied lord behaved in the most outrageous manner at the last moment he never proposed to her at all and then it came out that for years he had been living with one of the still room maids cried lady turning scarlet had he though the old scoundrel papa cried lady so he was my dear very bad old man very amusing old man too though and overcome by certain reminiscences lord chuckled a little his second daughter thereupon arranged the folds of her with bent head it is very clear papa and have been together to day she thought s influence over papa is always it s too extraordinary the subjects men joke about and call amusing when they get together a pause followed a brief of during which mr looked at his three companions fancies herself shocked he said to himself and my father fancies himself wicked and fancies herself a chosen vessel strong delusion is upon them all the only a slip cup and lip question is whose delusion is the strongest and who will first renew the ah the chosen vessel i thought as much you see papa one really must be practical lady b an in clear emphatic tones we all know how you have spoiled she and have always been your but even you must admit that s wretched extravagance has you and helped to all your other children and you must also admit notwithstanding your partiality for that i want to see i want to hear from herself that she broke out lord his kindly heart over this lamb of his large flock but the eldest of the said flock interposed sternly no no she cried pray papa not yet is quite contented and reasonable i believe she is out just now too and while you are in this state of yourself it would be the greatest mistake for you to see her it would only disturb and upset her wouldn t it and the lady thus appealed to assented it is true that when she arrived at the great house in gate that morning she had found little lady with her pretty baby face sadly by tears but she had put that down to the of the situation all young ladies of refined mind cried under kindred circumstances had she not herself wept for the better part of a week before finally deciding to accept george moreover a point of jealousy undoubtedly pricked lady in this connection she was far from being a cruel woman but comparing her own modest material advantages in marriage with the handsome ones offered to her little sister she could not be wholly sorry that the latter s rose was not entirely without thorns that the flower in question should have been as well as so very fine and large would surely have on injustice to herself this thought had perhaps unconsciously influenced her when on the of a refined indifference to sir richard s in her heart of hearts she was disposed perhaps to hail rather than the fact of that same for did it not tend to her lot and that of her little sister and the otherwise humiliating of their respective therefore she lady s speech by saying immediately yes indeed papa it would only | 32 |
be an to run i sir richard any risk of no really nice girl ever really quite likes the idea of marriage doesn t she though commented lord with an air of receiving curious scientific information oh of course not how could she and then papa you know how you have always indulged lady s voice was slightly in tone she was not in very good health at the present time with the consequence that her face showed thin and bird like while notwithstanding the genial heat of the summer s day she presented a starved and chilly appearance always indulged she repeated and that has inclined her to be rather selfish and fanciful the above statements both regarding his own conduct and the effect of that conduct upon his little lamb the amiable nobleman considerably he faced round upon the speaker with an intention of but in so doing his eyes were arrested by his daughter s faded dress and complexion he poor thing looks ill he thought a man s an unworthy brute who ever says a sharp word to a woman in her condition and before he had time to find a word other than sharp lady barking returned to the charge exactly she asserted is perfectly right at present is quite reasonable and all we entreat papa is that you will let her remain so until you have made up your own mind do pray let us be dignified one knows how the servants get hold of anything of this kind and discuss it if there is any want of dignity or any that is too odious and i must really think just a little of mr barking and myself in the matter it has all gone on in our house you see one must consider appearances and with all the recent gossip about we do not want another the servants knowing all about it too and then with all your partiality for you cannot suppose she will have many opportunities of marrying men with forty or fifty thousand a year no papa as says in your partiality for you must not entirely forget the claims of your other children she must not be encouraged to think exclusively of herself and it is not fair that you should think exclusively of her i know that george and i are poor but it is through no fault of our own he most refuses to take anything from his mother and you know how small my private income is yet no one can accuse george of lack of generosity when any of my family want to come to us he always makes them welcome a slip cup and lip only left us last thursday and comes to morrow i know we can t do much it is not possible with our small means and establishment but what little we can do george is most willing should be done excellent fellow lord put in soothingly very steady man his second daughter looked at him reproachfully thank you papa she said i own i was a little hurt just now by the tone in which you alluded to george were you though tm sure i m very sorry my dear hate to hurt anybody specially one of my own children unnatural thing to hurt one of your own children but you see this feeling of all of you about has been very painful to me i never have liked divisions in families never know where they may lead to nasty uncomfortable things divisions in families well papa i can only say that divisions are almost invariably caused by a want of the sense of duty lady s voice was stem and if people are over indulged they become selfish and then of course they lose their sense of duty my sister is a notable mr murmured under his breath if logic ruled life how clear how simple our course but then unfortunately it doesn t has really no one but himself to thank for any bitterness that his brothers and sisters may feel towards him he has thrown away his chances has got the whole family talked about in a most objectionable manner and has been a serious to you and indirectly to all of us we have all suffered quite enough trouble and annoyance already and so i must protest papa i must very strongly and definitely protest against being permitted still more encouraged to do exactly the same thing lord still grasping his walking stick though he could not but fear that trusted weapon had proved and sadly failed in its duty of support gazed at the speaker visions of money of ladies more fair and kind than wise of guinea points at of the prize ring of of and arose before him what the deuce he did not like bad language but really what the had all these to do with his lamb innocent little her virgin white body and soul and her sweet wide eyed my dear no doubt you know what you mean but i give you my word i don t he began a i sir richard hear hear my dear father put in mr there i am with you s wing is strong her range is great i myself on this occasion find it not a little difficult to follow her nonsense almost snapped the lady you follow me perfectly or can do so if you use your common sense papa must face the fact that cannot afford that we cannot afford to have her throw away her chances as has thrown away his we all have a duty not only to ourselves but to each other inclination must give way to duty though i do not say any real to this marriage she is a little as said just now every really nice minded girl is at the | 32 |
of marriage she ought to be i consider it only delicate that she should be but she understands i have pointed it out to her that her money her position and those two big houses and the one in square will be of the greatest advantage to the girls and to her brothers it is not as if she was nobody the maid can marry whom she likes of course but in our rank of life it is different a girl is bound to think of her family as well as of herself she is bound to consider the groom of the chambers opened the door and advanced solemnly across the to lord sir richard is in the smoking room my lord he said to see you chapter v hastened in spirit yet y a somewhat pitiable sense of upon him lord travelled back to that night two days later the morning papers announced to all whom it might concern and that far larger all whom it did not really concern in the least in the conventional phrases common to such that sir richard and lady had agreed shortly to become man and wife thus did in all strive to give her son his desire while the great and little world looked on and made comments various as the natures and circumstances of the them a slip cup and lip lady was filled with the pride of victory her venture had not at church on sunday she was really too busy just now to attend what it was her habit to describe as odds and ends of week day services and therefore worshipped on the sabbath only and then by no means in secret or with shut door she repeated the general with much and in an audible voice and lady expressed a hope that such great wealth might not turn s head and make her just a vulgar it was all rather dangerous for a girl of her age and she the speaker trusted somebody would point out to the heavy towards others such a position brought with it and lord delivered it as his opinion that it might be all right he hoped to goodness it was for he d always been uncommonly fond of the young un but it seemed to him rather a put up job all round and so he meant just to keep his eye on con he swore he did in of which determination he his eldest sister s with heroic calling to see the young girl whenever all other sources of amusement failed him and paying her the compliment as is the habit of the natural man when desirous of giving pleasure to the women of his family of talking and exclusively about his own affairs his gains at cards his losses on horses even in moments of more than ordinarily affection the less wholly of his many adventures of the heart and st s sensitive face straightened and her lips closed rather tight whenever the marriage was mentioned before her she refused to express any view on the subject and to that end took rather elaborate pains to avoid the society of mr and lady whose unhappy disappointment in respect of the late lord and other excursions in the direction of had not cured her of sentimental asserted that it was quite the most romantic and touching engagement she had ever heard of to which speech her mother the lady replied with the of statement which made her acquaintance so cautious of from her touching romantic fiddle de you ought to be ashamed of yourself for thinking so at your age a bargain s a bargain and in my opinion the bride has got much the best of it for she s a milk and water little while he is charming air there is of him if there d been a little more i declare i d have married him myself and good looking mr of the i sir richard got into very hot water with the mounted and with the livery stable keeper from whom he hired his for furious riding in the park and march walked the paved ways and fragrant of the red walled gardens at somewhat sadly in the glowing june meditating upon the pitiless power of change which all things human and of his own love doomed to find no earthly close and mrs down at the rejoiced to the point of tears being possessed by the persistent instinct of matrimony common to the british lower middle class and parish rejoiced likewise and its church bells in token thereof much gratification in the matter of cakes and ale and madame de whose letters to richard had come to be pretty frequent during the last eight months was overtaken by silence and did not write at all but this on the part of his cousin was grateful rather than distressing to the young man it appeared to him very sympathetic of not to it showed a finely imaginative sensibility and on her part which made sigh thinking of it and then so to speak turn away his head and to do this last was the less difficult that his days were very full just now and his mind was very full likewise of gentle thoughts of and many provisions for the happiness his promised bride the young girl was timid in his presence it is true yet she was anxious to please her conversation was neither ready nor brilliant but she was very fair to look upon in her freshness and innocence a element a tender and loyalty entered into richard s every thought of her a great passion and a happy marriage were two quite separate matters so he argued in his and this was surely the wife a man should desire modest dutiful pure | 32 |
white clad figure seen thus in the shaded library with its red walls and of dark am so sorry she said i should have come sooner but i was talking to lady and i did not know it was so late i am not afraid of talking to lady she is so very kind to me and there are many questions i wanted to ask her she promises to help and tell me what i ought to do and i am very glad of that it will prevent my making mistakes her attitude and the earnestness of her speech were to richard almost engaging his irritation vanished he smiled looked up at her his own face flushing a little i don t fancy you will ever make any very dangerous mistakes he said ah but i might the girl insisted you see i have rs been told what to do always asked more for the pleasure of watching her stand thus than for any great importance he attached to her answer oh yes she said first by our nurses and then by our they were not always very kind they called me obstinate but i did not mean to be obstinate only they spoke in french or german and i could not always understand and since i have grown up my elder sisters have told me what i ought to do it seemed to richard that the girl s small round chin trembled a little and that a look of vague distress invaded her soft wide et eyes and so i should have been very frightened now i had had lady to tell me well i think there s only one thing my mother will need to tell you and it won t nm into either french or german it can be stated in very plain english just to do whatever you like and and be happy lady stared at the speaker with her air of gentle perplexity as she did so undoubtedly her pretty chin did tremble a little ah but to do what you like can never really make you happy she said can t it i m not altogether so sure of that i had ventured to suppose there were a number of things you and i sir richard would do in the future which will be most uncommonly pleasant without being he leaned sideways stretching out to a neighbouring chair with his right hand keeping the light silk woven red blanket up across his with his left do sit down and we will talk of things we both like to do at greater length ah bother forgive me i can t reach it oh please don t trouble it doesn t matter i can get it quite well myself lady said quite quickly for once she drew up the chair and sat down near him folding her hands again nervously in her lap all the colour had died out of her cheeks they were as white as her rounded throat she kept her eyes fixed on richard s face and her bosom rose and fell while her words came somewhat still she talked on with a touching little effect of determined civility lady was very kind in telling me i might sometimes go over to she said i should like that i am afraid papa will miss me of course there will be all the others just the same but i go out so much with him of course i would not ask to go over very often because i know it might be inconvenient for me to have the horses but you will have your horses richard answered i wrote to to look out for a pair of for you last week you said you liked that colour i remember and i told him they were to be broken big guns going off under their very noses wouldn t make them so much as are you buying just for me the girl said just for you laughed why who on earth should i buy anything for but just you i should like to know but she began but but he echoed resting his hands on the two arms of his chair leaning forward and still laughing though somewhat don t you see the whole and sole programme is that you should do all you like and have all you like and and be happy richard straightened himself up still looking full at her trying to both these engaging far apart eyes do you never play he asked her suddenly i did practise every morning at home but lately oh i don t mean that the young man said i mean quite another sort of playing games lady inquired i am afraid i am c a slip cup and lip rather stupid about games i find it so difficult to remember numbers and words and i never can make a ball go where i want it to somehow i was not thinking of games either exactly richard said smiling the girl stared at him in some perplexity then she spoke again with the same little effect of determined civility i am very fond of dancing and of the ice was very good on the lake at this winter and were home from and had brought a young man down with him mr who is in his business in liverpool and a friend of my brother s was staying in the house too from india i think you have met him mr we till past twelve one night a wednesday i think there was a moon and a great many stars the fifteen degrees of frost mr told me but i was not cold it was very beautiful richard shifted his position the organ had moved farther away by further copper showers it again while the murmur sent forth by the | 32 |
thousand of the great city loud for the moment and hoarsely i do not bore you lady asked in sudden anxiety oh no no richard answered i am glad to have you tell me about yourself if you will and all that you care for thus encouraged the girl took up her little again her sweet rather vacant face growing almost animated as she spoke we did something else i liked very much but from what said afterwards i am afraid i ought not to have liked it one day it and we all played hide and seek there are a number of in the roof of the bachelor s wing at and there are long up and down passages leading round to the old did not mind but was very displeased she said it was a mere excuse for but that was not true of course we never thought of we did make a great noise she added but that was and s fault they would jump out after promising not to and of course it was impossible to help screaming r s liverpool friend tried to jump out too but him i think he deserved it you ought to play fair don t you think so after promising you never jump out would you and there lady stopped with a little gasp sir richard oh i b your pardon i am so sorry i forgot she added richard s face had become thin and keen forget just as often as you can please he answered i would infinitely rather have you have everybody forget altogether if possible oh but i think that would be wrong of me she rejoined with gentle it is selfish to forget that is very sad and is this so very sad richard asked almost harshly the girl stared at him with parted lips oh yes she said slowly of course don t you think so it is dreadfully sad and then her attitude still unchanged and her pretty plump hands still folded on her lap she went on in her touching determination to sustain the conversation with due readiness and civility is a much larger house than isn t it i thought so the day we drove over to luncheon when that beautiful french cousin of yours was staying with you you remember yes i remember richard said and as he spoke madame de clothed in the crowned and shod with gold seemed to stand for a moment beside his innocent little how long it was since he had heard from her did she want money he wondered it would be intolerable if because of his marriage she never let him help her again and all the while lady s careful little voice continued as did the ceaseless murmur of london i remember she was saying because your cousin is quite the most beautiful person i have ever seen papa admired her very much too we spoke of that as soon as had left us when we were alone but there seemed to me so many at and rooms opening one out of the other i have been wondering since lately whether i shall ever be able to find my way about the house i will show you your way said gently the vision of de you will show it me the girl asked in evident surprise then a companion picture to that of madame de arose before s mental vision namely the good looking long legged young irish soldier mr of the flying along the passages of the bachelor s wing in company with this immediately so and dutiful maiden and all the rest of that rather a slip cup and lip holiday throng a foolish lump rose in poor richard s throat for he too was after all but young he choked the foolish lump down again yet it left his voice a trifle yes i will show you your way he said i can manage that much you know at home in private among my own people only you mustn t be in a hurry i have to take my time you must not mind that i i go slowly but that will be much better for me she answered with rather humble courtesy because then i am more likely to remember my way i have so much difficulty in knowing my way i still lose myself sometimes in the park at i did once this winter with my brother s friend mr the boys always me about losing my way even papa says i no of locality i am afraid i am stupid about that my always complained that i was a very thoughtless child lady unfolded her hands her timid vague gaze dwelt upon richard s handsome face i think perhaps if you do not mind i will go now she said i must bid lady good bye we dine at lady s to night you dine there too don t you and my sister may want me to drive with her or write some notes before i dress wait half a minute said i ve got something for you let s see oh there it is raising himself he stood for a moment on the seat of the chair himself with one hand on the back of it and reached a little silver paper covered parcel from the neighbouring table then he slipped back into a sitting position drew the silken blanket up across his and tossed the little parcel gently into lady s lap i as near as possible let you go without it he said not that it s anything very wonderful it s nothing only i saw it in a shop in bond street yesterday and it struck me as rather quaint i thought you might like it why but what s the matter for the girl s | 32 |
pretty heart shaped face had to the whiteness of her white dress her eyes were strained as those of one who an object of terror not only her chin but her round baby mouth trembled richard looked at her amazed at these evidences of distressing emotion then suddenly he understood i frighten you how horrible he said but little lady had not suffered persistent training sir richard at the hands of nurses and and elder sisters during all her eighteen years of innocent living for nothing she had her own small code of manners and morals of honour and duty and to the of that code as she apprehended them she yielded obedience not in its meagre and rather puzzle headed fashion so that now notwithstanding trembling lips she retained her intention of civility and entered immediate apology for her own weakness no no indeed you do not she replied please forgive me i know i was very foolish i am so sorry you are so kind to me you are always giving me beautiful presents and indeed i am not ungrateful only i had never seen seen you like that before and please forgive me i will never be foolish again indeed i will not but i was taken by surprise i b your pardon i shall be so dreadfully unhappy if you do not forgive me and all the while her shaking hands helplessly with the narrow ribbon tying the dainty parcel and big tears rolled down slowly out of her great soft wide set s eyes never was there m ore moving or a spectacle witnessing which richard was taken somewhat out of himself his personal misfortune seeming matter while his r tf had never appeared more engaging all the sweetest of his nature responded to her appeal in very tender pity why my dear he said there s nothing to forgive i was foolish not you i ought to have known better never mind i don t only wipe your pretty eyes please yes that s better now let me break that tiresome ribbon for you you are very kind to me the girl murmured then as the ribbon broke under richard s strong fingers and the delicate of many roughly cut precious stones and joined together three rows deep by slender golden chains slipped from the paper into her open hands added rather oh you are much too kind you give me too many things no one i know ever had such beautiful presents the you told me of and now this and the and the you gave me last week i i don t it you give me too much and i give nothing in oh yes you do richard said flushing you me a slip cup and lip lady s tears ceased again she stared at him in gentle perplexity you promise to marry me yes of course i have promised that she said slowly and isn t that about the greatest giving there can be a few horses and jewels and such rubbish of sorts weigh pretty light in the balance against that i being i richard paused a moment and you you but a certain which had come into his speech for all that he sat very still and that his expression was wholly gentle and indulgent and that she felt a comfortable assurance that he was not angry with her rather troubled little lady she rose to her feet and stood before him again as a child about to a lesson i think she said i must go may want me thank you so much this is quite lovely i never saw one like it i like so many colours they remind me of flowers or of the colours at sunset in the sky i shall like to wear this very much you you will forgive me for having been foolish or if i have bored you her bosom rose and and the words came i shall see you at lady s so now i go and with that she departed leaving richard more in love with her somehow than he had ever been before or had ever thought to be chapter vi in which st takes the field it had been agreed that the marriage should take place in the country one day in the first week of august this at s request then the young man asked a further favour namely that the ceremony might be performed in the private chapel at rather than in the parish church this last proposal it must be owned when made to him by lady caused lord great of heart i give you my word my dear boy i never felt more awkward in my life he said subsequently to his chosen can quite understand doesn t care to court told his mother i quite understood sir richard shouldn t care to court it myself if i had the misfortune to share his well personal peculiarities don t you know poor young fellow still this seems to me an uncomfortable hole and comer sort of way of to one s daughter marrying her at his house instead of from my own i don t half approve of it looks a little as if we were rather ashamed of the whole business well perhaps we are lord remarked for god s sake then don t mention it the elder man broke out with don t approve of strong language he added hastily never did approve of it and very rarely employ it myself an educated man ought to be able to express himself quite sufficiently clearly without having recourse to it still i must own this engagement of s has upset me more than almost any event of my life nasty anxious work marrying your daughters heavy responsibility marrying your daughters and as to this | 32 |
particular marriage there s so very much to be said on both sides and i admit to you if there s anything i hate it s a case where there s very much to be said on both sides it you up you see at every turn then i feel i was not fairly treated i don t wish to be hard on your brother and your sisters but they sprung it upon me and i am not quick in argument never was quick if i am hurried never can be certain of my own mind when i am hurried was not certain of it when lady proposed that the marriage should be at and so i gave way must be to a woman you know always have been to women got myself into uncommonly tight places by being so more than once when i was younger here the speaker cheered up visibly contemplating his favourite son with an air at once humorous and you re well out of it you know with no ties he continued at least i mean with no wife and family not that i don t consider every man property should marry sooner or later more respectable if you ve got property to marry roots you in the soil gives you a stake you know in the future of the country but i d let it be later yes thinking of daughters certainly i d let it be later from which it may be gathered that richard s demands were at all points and this last concession involved many preparations at to effect which lady left london with the bulk of the household a slip cup and lip about the middle of july while richard remained in square the neighbourhood of his little in company with a few servants and many brown holland covers till such time as that young lady should also depart to the country it was just now that lady barking gave her annual ball always one of the latest and this year one of the of the season i mean it to be exceedingly well done she said to her sister and mr barking entirely with me i feel i owe it not only to myself but to the rest of the family to show that none of us see anything extraordinary in s marriage and that whatever s debts may have been or may be they are really no concern at all of ours in obedience to which determination the handsome mansion in gate opened wide its and all london a far from company in numbers since parliament was still sitting and the promised to be rather prolonged crowded its fine and of lofty rooms in and jewels and in orders and titles and manifold personal distinctions of wealth or office or beauty while strains of music and scent of flowers pervaded the length and breadth of it and the feet of the dancers sped over its shining floors it chanced that st found herself on this occasion in a meditative rather than an active mood true the scene was remarkably brilliant but she had witnessed too many parallel scenes to be very much affected by that so it pleased her fancy to to not without a delicate sarcasm between and appearances between the sentiments which might be divined really to many of the guests and those conventional of sentiment which the manner and bearing of the said guests indicated she assured lord she would rather not dance that she preferred the attitude of spectator whereupon that gentleman proposed to her to take in a certain chamber opening off lady barking s which was dimly lighted and agreeably remote from the turmoil of the entertainment now at its height the acquaintance of these two persons was in as far as time and the number of their meetings went but slight and at first sight their tastes and would seem wide asunder as the poles but contrast can form a strong bond of union and the young man when his fancy was engaged was among those who do not waste time over if pleased he sir richard neck and crop into intimacy and miss st her fearless speech her detached attitude of mind and her gallant bearing pleased him from a certain point of view he her to be a first rate sort and entertained a shrewd suspicion that as he put it was after her he commended his brother s good taste he considered she would make a tip top sister in law while the young lady on her part accepted his advances in a friendly spirit his attitude and good temper diverted her his rather doubtful reputation her curiosity she accepted the general verdict declaring him to be good for nothing while she enjoyed the conviction that or no he was incapable of causing her the smallest annoyance or being guilty as far as she herself was concerned of the smallest you know miss st he remarked as he established himself comfortably not to say on a sofa beside her over and above the pleasure of a peaceful little talk with you i am not altogether sorry to seek retirement you see between ourselves i m not unfortunately in exactly good with some members of the family just now i don t think i m shy smiled at him through the i don t think you re shy she said well you know when you come to consider it from an what the is the use of being shy it s only an kind of conceit at best and half the time it makes you stand in your own light clearly it s a mistake every way the young lady asserted and happily it s one of which i can entirely you of being guilty lord threw back his head and looked sideways at his | 32 |
companion wonderfully graceful woman she was certainly gave you the feeling she d all the time there was or ever would be delightful thing to see a woman who was never in a hurry no honestly i don t believe i m weak in the way of shyness he continued if i had been i shouldn t be here tonight my sister didn t press me to come strange as it may appear to you miss st i give you my word she t nor has she regarded me with an exactly favourable eye since my arrival i am not abashed not a bit but i can t disguise from myself that again i have gone and been and jolly well put my foot in it he whistled very softly under his breath oh i have i you even on the most modest very and put my foot in it a slip cup and lip how inquired lord s confidences invariably amused her and just now she welcomed amusement for crossing her hostess she had caught sight of that which changed the sarcasm of her meditations to something approaching pain namely a pretty wide eyed childish face rising from out a cloud of white white roses and diamonds the expression of which had seemed to her remote from all the surrounding gaiety and splendour and appearances here were surely at and now she turned on her elbow and made brief inquiry of her companion promising herself good measure of superficial entertainment which should serve to banish that pathetic countenance and her suspicion of a sorrowful happening which she was powerless alike to hinder or to help lord pushed his hands into his trousers pockets leaned far back on the sofa turning his head so that he could look at her comfortably without exertion and a little as he spoke well you see he said i brought no you re right i m not for to do that was a bit of the most cheek my sister hadn t asked him of course she hadn t at bottom she s awfully afraid he may still upset the apple cart but her i knew of course she had intended to ask him and the letter must have got lost somehow in the post and that i knew how glad she d be to have me the little mistake my manner was not miss st or defiant not a bit of it it was frank manly i should call it manly and pleasing but didn t seem to see it that way somehow she withered me she me reduced me to a though she never uttered one blessed syllable the comer of the infernal regions resided in my sister s eye at that moment and i resided in that comer i tell you of course i knew i risked losing the last rag of her regard when i brought but you see poor chap it is awfully rough on him he was making the running all through the winter i could not help feeling for him so i discretion for the first and only time in your life put in gently and pray who and what is this of domestic peace oh you know the whole affair grows out of this engagement of my little sister s by the way though the are great friends of yours aren t they miss st the young man regarded her anxiously lest he should sir richard have the agreeable intimacy of their present relation by the introduction of an subject of conversation even in this semi obscurity he perceived that her fine smile had vanished while the lines of her sensitive face took on a certain and effect of lord regretted that for some reason he knew not what she was displeased he like an ass evidently had tm awfully sorry he began perhaps perhaps perhaps it is very impertinent for a mere like myself to have any views at all about this marriage put in quickly bless you no it s not he answered i don t see how anybody can very well be off having views about it that s just the nuisance the whole thing shouts confound it so you might just as well let me hear your views miss st i should be awfully interested they might help to my own out a bit paused a moment doubting how much of her thought it would be to confide to her companion a certain vein of knight in her character inclined her to set lance in rest and ride forth rather to human wrongs but in one wrong it too often happens that another wrong or something approaching one must be inflicted to save pain in one direction is unhappily to inflict pain in the opposite one was aware how warmly lady desired this marriage she loved lady therefore her loyalty was engaged and yet i am no match maker she said at last and so probably my view is but i happened to see lady just now and i cannot pretend that she struck me as looking happy lord his shoulders against the back of the sofa his chest and thrusting his hands still farther into bis pockets with a movement at once of anxiety and satisfaction i don t believe she is he asserted upon my word you right i don t believe she is i doubted it from the first now i m pretty certain of course i know i m a bad lot miss st i ve been very little but a confounded to my people ever since i was bom they re all ten times better than i am and they re doing what they honestly think right all the same i believe they re making a i mistake they re selling the poor little girl against her wiu about the long and short of it | 32 |
he bowed himself together looking at his companion from a slip cup and lip under his eyebrows and speaking with more seriousness than she had ever heard him yet speak i tell you it makes me a little sick sometimes to see what excellent well meaning people will do with girls in respect of marriage oh good lord i it just does but then a high moral tone doesn t come quite gracefully from me i know that i m jolly well out of it it s not for me to preach and so i thought for once i d act defy authority risk landing myself in a worse mess than ever and give his chance arid i tell you he really is a charming chap a gentleman you know and a nice clean minded decent fellow not like me not a bit he s awfully hard hit too and would be as steady as old time for poor little con s sake if ah now i begin to comprehend said yes don t you see it s a perfectly genuine for ever and sort of business lord leaned back once more and turned a wonderfully pleasant if not pre eminently responsible countenance upon his companion i never went in for that kind of myself miss st he continued not being faithful i should only have made l of it but i give you my word it touches me all the same when i do run across it i think it s awfully lucky for a man to be made that way and is so there seemed no help for it i had to discretion as i told you and give him his chance he paused and then asked with a somewhat humorous air of self what do you think now have i done more harm than good made confusion worse confounded and played the fool generally but again vouchsafed him no immediate reply the meditative mood still held her and the present conversation offered much food for meditation her companion s confession of faith in true love if you had the good fortune to be born that way had startled her that the speaker enjoyed the reputation of being something of a lent singular point to that she had not expected it from lord of all men and coming from him the sentiment was in a high degree and interesting her own so far had a decidedly tendency while being in love appeared to her a much if not objectionable condition personally she hoped to escape all experience of it then her thought travelled back to lady the charm of her personality her sorrows her splendid self devotion and to sir richard the object of that devotion namely richard a being of strange at once and beautiful a being from whom she shrank in instinctive while unwillingly acknowledging that he exercised a permanent and intimate over her imagination she dwelt in quick pity too upon the frightened wide eyed childish face recently seen rising from out its cloud of the of it heightened by fair of summer roses and flash of costly diamonds and upon mr the whole hearted young soldier lover whose existence threatened such dangerous in respect of the rest of this strangely company finally her meditative survey returned to its point of departure in thought she surveyed her present companion his excellence of sentiment and clear seeing his conduct in matters and financial never before had she been at such close quarters with living and immediate human drama and notwithstanding her her lofty indifference and theories she found it profoundly she was sensible of being in collision with unknown and forces instinctively she rose from her place on the sofa and moving to the open window looked out into the night below the park now silent and deserted slept peacefully as any expanse of remote country pasture and in the mildly radiant moonlight here and there were of dark shadow cast by the or avenues of trees here and there the timid yellow flame of gas lamps struggled to assert itself against the all embracing silver brightness here and there windows glowed warm set in the pale of the adjacent houses a cool light wind from the direction of the unseen stirred the hanging clusters of the pink that fell over the curved lip of the stone standing along the broad of the balcony and gently the girl s bare arms and shoulders seen under these conditions familiar objects assumed a fantastic aspect for the night is a mighty with power to render even the brick and stone even the hard outlines of a monster modem city delicately and meanwhile within from all along the vista of crowded and brilliantly illuminated rooms came the subdued yet confused and sound of musical instruments of many voices many footsteps the hush of women s trailing garments the rise and fall of conversation and to standing in this quiet dimly seen place the sense of that world without and a slip cup and lip this gas and candle lit world within increased the nameless agitation which her a haunting persuasion of the character of all sounds that saluted her ears all sights that met her eyes possessed her a vast uncertainty surrounded and pressed in on her while those of appearances and of truth and falsehood right and wrong justice and injustice with which she had played idly earlier in the evening took on new and almost terrible proportions causing her intelligence nay her heart itself to reach out as never before in search of some sure rock and house of defence against the apprehension of universal and illusion ah it is all very difficult difficult to the point of alarm she exclaimed suddenly turning to lord and looking him straight in the face with an consciousness and desire of support so transparent that that gentleman found himself at once delighted | 32 |
and slightly abashed bless my soul but is a lucky devil he said to himself what s what s so difficult miss st he asked aloud and the sound of his cheery voice recalled to the normal aspects of existence with almost humorous she smiled upon him i really believe i don t quite know she said perhaps that the two people of whom we were speaking really care for each other and that this engagement has come between them and that you have discretion and given him his chance tell me what sort of man is he strong enough to make the most of his chance when he s got it but at that moment lord stepped forward planting himself right in front of her and thus her from observation by george he said under his breath in tones of mingled amusement and consternation he s making the most of his chance now miss st and that most uncommonly i m very much mistaken her companion s tall person and the folds of a heavy curtain while from observation also in great measure obscured her view of the room yet not so completely but that she saw two figures cross it one black one white those of a man and a girl they were both speaking the man apparently pleading the girl protesting and moving hurriedly the while as though in flight she must have been moving blindly at random for she stumbled against the gilded leg of a table set against farther wall sir richard the ornaments on it to and so doing she gave a plaintive exclamation of alarm perhaps even of physical hearing which that nameless agitation that sense of collision with unknown and forces seized hold on again while lord s features contracted and he turned his head sharply by george he repeated under his breath but the girl recovered herself and followed by her companion he still pleading she still protesting passed by the window on to the and out of sight there followed a period of embarrassed silence on the part of the usually while his pleasant countenance expressed a certain half humorous concern really i m awfully sorry he said i d not the slightest intention of landing you in the thick of the brown like this or yourself either she replied smiling though with that sense of nameless agitation still upon her her heart beat rather quick well perhaps not between ourselves moral courage isn t my strong point there s nothing i like a row i say what shall we do don t you think we d better quietly clear out but just then a sound caught s ear before which all vague questions of ultimate truth and falsehood right and wrong fled away whatever might of illusion here was something real and actual something pitiful moreover the spirit of knight in her pushing her to lay lance in rest and go forth reckless of reckless even of considerations of justice to the of oppressed womanhood what words the man on the balcony without was saying she could not distinguish whether cruel or kind but that the young girl was weeping with the of long resisted tears she could not doubt no no listen lord she exclaimed don t you hear she is crying as if her poor heart would break you must stay if i understand you rightly your sister has only got you to depend on whatever happens you must stand by her and see her through oh but my dear miss st the young man s aspect was entertaining he looked at the floor he looked at he rubbed the back of his neck with one hand as though there might be placed the seat of fortitude you re inviting me to put my head into the s nest what the deuce excuse me am i to say to her and all the a slip cup and lip rest of them even t quite understand my interference and may resent it i think it is very much safer all round to let them him and her it out between them don t you know i say though what a thing it is to hear a woman cry i wish to goodness we d never come into this confounded place and let ourselves in for it as he spoke lord turned towards the door meditating escape in the direction of that brilliant vista of crowded rooms but st her enthusiasm once aroused became inexorable with her long swinging stride she his hesitating steps and stood in the doorway her arms extended as to stop a horse her clear eyes as though a lamp burned behind them her pale delicately cut face eloquent of very charity a of contempt moreover for his display of was quite perceptible to in the expression of this charming modem angel clad in a ball dress bearing a fan instead of the fiery sword who so barred the entrance of that comfortably conventional worldly paradise to which he just now so warmly desired to regain no no she said with a certain in her quiet voice you are not to go you are not to desert her it would be unworthy lord you brought mr here and so you are mainly responsible for the present situation and think just think what it means all the course of her life will be by that which takes place in the next half hour you would never cease to reproach yourself if things went wrong shouldn t i the young man said of course you wouldn t asserted having it in your power to help and then the responsibility i won t believe that of you you are better than that for think how young she is and pretty and dependent she may be driven to do some foolish thing if she s left | 32 |
won t tell anybody anything to begin with i don t know anything to tell the girl s voice had sunk away into a sob she shuddered letting her pretty brown head fall back against st s bare shoulder while the moonlight on her jewels and the night wind swayed the hanging clusters of the pink along with the warmth and scent of flowers streaming outward through the open windows came a confused sound of many voices of discreet laughter mingled with the wailing sweetness of then the pleading broken childish voice took up its tale again i will be good i know i have promised and i have let him give me a number of beautiful things he has been very kind to me because he is clever and of course i am stupid but he has never been impatient with me and i am not ungrateful indeed i am not it was only for a minute i was wicked enough to think of doing it but mr told me he asked me and and we were so happy at in the winter and it seemed too hard to give it all up as he said it was true but i will be good indeed i will really it was only for a minute i thought of it i know i have promised indeed i will make no fuss i will be good i will marry richard but this is simply intolerable said in a low voice she held tall and straight looking gallant yet pure austere even as some pictured d arc a great of purpose a high courage of protest an effect at once of fearless and of command in her bearing is it not a scandal she went on that in a country at this time of day a woman should be allowed actually forced to suffer so much a slip cup and lip you must not permit this to be completed you can t as she spoke watched her keenly who this stately young lady so remarkably unlike the majority of lord s intimate feminine acquaintance might be he did not know but he discerned in her an ally and a powerful one yes he said you are right it is a and a scandalous one it s worse than murder it s it s not like any ordinary marriage i don t want to be brutal but it isn t there s something repulsive in it something unnatural the young man looked at and read in her expression a certain agreement and encouragement you know it you know it just as well as i do and that justified me in attempting what i suppose i would not otherwise have felt it honourable to attempt look here i will tell you what has just happened i would have had to tell you to morrow in any case if we had carried the plan out but i suppose i have no alternative but to tell you now since you ve come he ranged himself in line with miss st his back against one of the big stone he struggled honestly to keep both temper and emotion under control but a rather energy was perceptible in him i love lady he said i have told her so and and she cares for me i am not a like but i am not a i have enough to keep a wife in a manner suitable to her position and my own when my uncle dies which i hope he ll not hurry to do since i am very fond of him there ll be the property in addition to my own dear old place in county cork and your sister simply hates this marriage lord bless me my dear fellow so do i lord put in with evident sincerity and so when at last i had spoken freely i asked her to but the young girl down hiding her face in st s bosom oh don t say it again don t say it she implored it was wicked of me to listen to you even for a minute i ought to have stopped you at once and sent you away it was very wrong of me to listen and talk to you and tell you all that i did but everything is so strange and i have been so miserable i never supposed anybody could ever be so miserable and i knew it was of me and so i dared not tell anybody sir richard i would have told papa but never let me be alone with him she said papa indulged me and made me selfish and fanciful and so i have never seen him for more than a little while and i have been so frightened she raised her head gazing wide eyed first at miss st and then at her brother i have thought such dreadful things i must be very bad i wanted to run away i wanted to die there you hear you hear cried hoarsely spreading abroad his hands in sudden violence of appeal to for god s sake help us i am not aware whether you are a relation or a friend or what but i am convinced you can help if only you choose to do so and i tell you she is just killing herself over this accursed marriage s got at her and talked her into some wild notion of doing her duty and marrying money for the sake of her family oh i say damn it all lord exclaimed smitten with genuine remorse and so she believes she s committing the seven deadly sins and i don t know what besides because she against this marriage and is unhappy tell her it s absurd it s horrible that she should do what she and tell her | 32 |
kind than wise very sensibly i wish i hadn t been such a fool in my day and run with my chances he thought but miss st was altogether innocent of his observation or any such she looked up suddenly her face by an exquisite smile yes i have it she cried i see the way clear but i can t tell them broke in lady s hand down on hers no she said you shall not tell them and lord shall not tell them sir richard shall tell lord a slip cup and lip that he wishes to be released from his engagement as he believes both you and he will be happier apart only you must be brave both for your own sake and for mr and for richard s sake also lady she went on with a certain gentle authority do you want to back to to morrow or next day all this nightmare of an marriage done away with and gone well then you must come and see sir richard to night and like an honourable woman tell him the whole truth it must be done at once or your courage may fail we will come with you lord and i good lord will we though the young man ejaculated while the girl s great s eyes grew strained with wonder at this announcement i know it will be rather terrible continued calmly but it is a matter of a quarter of an hour as against a lifetime and of honour as against a lie so it s worth while don t you think so when your whole future and mr she pressed the soft hand again steadily is at stake you must be brave now and tell him the truth just simply that you do not enough that you have tried you have i know you have done that but that you have failed that you love else and that therefore you beg him in mercy before it is too late to set you free fascinated both by her appearance and by the simplicity of her solution of the difficulty lord stared at the speaker her faith was yet it occurred to him that all women good and bad are at least alike in this that their methods become when they find themselves in a tight place it is a fine plan it ought to work for or not poor s a gentleman he said slowly but doesn t it seem just a trifle rough miss st to ask him to be his own had slipped down from the and stood erect in the moonlight i think not she replied the woman pays as a rule lady has paid already quite heavily enough don t you think so now we will have the exception that proves the rule the man shall pay whatever remains of the debt but we must not waste time it is not late yet we shall still find him up and my is here i told lady i should be home fairly early get a cloak lady and meet us in the hall i suppose you can go down by some back sir richard way so as to avoid meeting people lord will you take me to say good night to your sister lady the young man fairly chuckled and you mr must stay and dance she smiled upon him very sweetly i promise you it will come through all right for as lord says whatever his misfortunes may be richard is a gentleman ah i hope you are going to be very happy good bye black head went down over her hand and he kissed it good bye he said the words catching a little in his throat when the time comes may you find the man to love you as you deserve though i doubt if there s such a man living or dead either for that matter god bless you some half hour later stood among the furniture in lady s sitting room in square the period of exalted feeling of the conviction of successful was over and her heart beat somewhat painfully for she had had time by now to the surprising audacity of her own proceedings lord s with richard s man servant on the had brought that home to her placing what had seemed obvious as a course of action to her imagination in quite a new light sir richard was at home he was still up to that yes would he see lady upon urgent business to that again yes after a rather delay while the inscrutable yet evidently highly critical made inquiries the trees in the square had whispered together while the two young ladies waited in the carriage and lord s shadow which had usually very surely nothing in the least about it lay three ways at once in varying degrees of across the grey pavement in the conflicting gas and moon light and now as she stood among the furniture which appeared oddly improbable in shape seen in the flickering of two hastily lighted candles could hear walking back and forth patiently on that same grey pavement outside she was by the emotions and events of the past hours small matters compelled her attention the creaking of a board the rustle of a curtain the silence even of this large but half inhabited house were to her big with suggestion with possible meaning of exaggerated importance to her anxiously listening ears lord had stopped walking he was talking to the a slip cup and lip coachman entertained a conviction that in the overflowing of his good nature he talked sooner or later to every soul whom he met she derived almost childish comfort from the knowledge of the near neighbourhood of that eminently presence lord s very obvious | 32 |
faults faded from her remembrance she estimated him only by his size his physical strength his large indulgence of all weaknesses including his own he constituted a link between her and things ordinary and average for which she was rather thankful at this juncture for the minutes passed slowly very slowly it must be getting on for half an hour since little lady trembling and visibly had passed out of sight and the door of the smoking room had closed behind her the nameless agitation which possessed her earlier that same evening returned upon st but its character had suffered change the questioning of the actual the suspicion of universal illusion had departed and in its place she suffered alarm of the of the force of human passion and of a of tragedy in some active and violent form she did not define her own fears but they her nevertheless so that the slightest sound made her start for indeed how slowly the minutes did pass lord was walking again the horse rattled its bit and the ground impatient of delay though lofty the room appeared dose and hot with drawn blinds and shut windows began to move about her way between the pieces of furniture a chalk drawing of lady stood on an in the far comer the portrait the sweetness and abiding pathos rather than the strength of the original and standing before it put her hands over her eyes for the pictured face seemed to plead with and reproach her then a swift fear took her of of of self confidence on cruelty she had announced rather that whatever balance remained to be paid in respect of sir richard and lady s proposed marriage should be paid by the man but would the man in point of fact pay it would it not must it not be paid eventually by this other noble and much enduring woman whom she had called her friend and towards whom she played the part as she feared of in her hot of lady s cause she had only saved one woman at the expense of another oh i how hot the room grew i lord s steps died away in the distance she could look sir richard lady in the face no more secure in her own and vanity she had betrayed her friend suddenly the sharp peal of a bell the opening of a door the dragging of silken skirts and the hurrying of footsteps gathered up her somewhat scattered courage and swung out into the hall lady came towards her groping staggering breathless her face with weeping but to this for the moment miss st paid small heed for at the far end of the hall a bright light streamed out from the open doorway and in the full glare of it stood a young man his head with its cap of close curls proudly distinguished as that of some classic hero his features the beautiful features of his height but two thirds the height a man of his make should be his face drawn and livid as that of a corpse his arms hanging down straight at his sides his hands only just not touching the marble of the floor on either side of him uttered an exclamation of pity and horror caught by the arm and hurried out into the square to the waiting carriage lord flung away the end of his cigar and strolled towards them got through fixed it all right eh that s grand oh you needn t tell me i can imagine it s been a piece of work but anyway it s over now you must go home and go to bed and i ll account for you somehow to my mind s becoming quite to night i promise you there get in try to pull yourself together miss st upon my word i don t know how to thank you you ve been magnificent and put us under an everlasting obligation con and and my father and me nice night isn t it you ll put us down in gate all right a thousand thanks yes i ll go on the box again you haven t much room for my legs among all those bless me it occurs to me i m getting hungry i shall be awfully glad of some supper a slip cup and lip chapter viii a of the spirit house had all day long in the steady warmth of the july sun the last three weeks had been so that the short turf of the b an to grow crisp and while the scent of the fir forest at once and soothing was carried afar out over the sloping and low lying pastures above the stretches of purple and waste sandy places upon the the heat haze danced and quivered as do arising from a furnace along the under side of the great woods and in the turn of the valleys shadows lingered which were less actual shadows than of blue light the birds busy feeding wide mouthed hungry had mostly ceased from song but the drowsy hum of bees and of was continuous and told very pleasantly of the and large plenty out of doors for the day in question had passed in occupations a day of of ordering and a day of much detail much of heads of a day of meeting respectful objections thick gently opposing wills transport of guests and the servants of guests all these entered into the matter of the coming wedding to compass the doing of all things not only decently and in order but handsomely and with a becoming dignity this required time and thought and so it was not until after dinner that found herself at leisure to cease taking thought for the morrow too tired to rest herself by reading she wandered | 32 |
she paused in her rustling grey dress upon the dry gravel path the surface of which still sir richard sensibly held the warmth of the sun while camp on his beside her but at first only worrying thoughts responded to her call it was not quite kind surely of to have left home just now it was a little of him if she dwelt on the thought of that clearly it would vex her so it must be banished the housekeeper had really been very p about the turning of the two larger into extra dressing rooms for the week of the wedding and showed an inclination to back her up in opposition of course the maids would give in they always did and that without any subsequent attempt at small still the thought of that too was and must be banished at dinner she had received a singular letter from st it contained what appeared to as rather over urgent of affection and offers of service if at any future time she the writer could be of use the letter was charming in its slight extravagance but it struck as penitent in tone the letter of one who has not treated a friend quite and is hot with anxiety to it was dated this morning too and must have been posted at some early hour to have thus reached by the day mail lady did not quite relish the somehow notwithstanding its affection it lacked the perfection of personal dignity which had pleased her heretofore in st she felt vaguely disappointed and it followed that this thought therefore must go along with the rest for she refused to be she would compel herself to be at peace so putting these small sources of discomfort from her as unworthy both of her better understanding and of this fair hour and fair place yielded herself wholly to the influences of her surroundings the dew was rising promise of another hot clear day to morrow and along with it rose a fragrance of wild from the grass slopes immediately below that fragrance mingled with the richer of full july roses scarlet trumpet tall lilies and great wealth of heavy headed the red walls or set in the trim borders of the gardens behind a strangely still sang in the big laurel beside the quaint pot summer house in the far comer of the ground where the twenty foot brick wall in steps of well set to the grey three foot she never remembered to have heard one sing so late in the summer the bird was answered moreover by another singer from the the a slip cup and lip stream which the long water away across the valley in each case the song was note for note the same but the chant of the near bird was hotly urgent in its passion of and winning while the song of the came and by distance a fox sharply on the left out in the and the of the night as they flitted hither and thither over the beds of and dog roses like gigantic on swift silent wings formed a continuous accompaniment as of a spinning wheel to the other sounds never as she watched and listened had the genius of appeared more potent or more for a space she rested in it asking nothing beyond that which sight and hearing could give it was very good to breathe the scented air and be by the inarticulate music of nature it was good to cease from self and from all individual striving to become a part merely of the universal movement of things a link merely in the mighty chain of universal being but such an attitude of mind cannot last long least of all in the case of a woman s heart awoke and cried again for some human object on which to itself some kindred intelligence to meet and reflect her own ah were she but better more holy and more wise these would doubtless not her the worship of the light would and she would cease from desire of the love of any creature but she had not so far upon the road of perfection yet as she sadly told herself far from it the sang on sang of love not far hence not far above not within the spirit only but here warm immediate and individual and do what she would the song brought to her mind such love as she herself had known it during the few golden months of her marriage of meetings at night sweet and sacred of sweet and sacred too at morning of secret delights of moments at once pure and known only to virtuous lovers it was not often that remembrance of all this came back to her save as a faint echo of a once clear sounding voice indeed she had supposed it all laid away forever done with even as the bright colours it had once so pleased her to wear were laid away in high mahogany presses that lined one side of the lofty state bedroom upstairs but now remembrance laid violent hands on her shaking both mind and body from their calm the passion of the bird s song the caressing of the summer night the knowledge too that so soon another bride and bridegroom would dwell here at worked upon her strangely she struggled with surprised and half by the force of her own sir richard emotion and pleaded at once against and for the satisfaction of the immense which possessed her ah i it is bitter very bitter to have had at once so much and so little bow my proud neck o lord to thy yoke if my beloved had but been spared to me i had never walked in darkness far from the way of faith and my child had never suffered bodily perfect | 32 |
me o god even at the cost of further suffering it is sad to be shut away from the joys of my womanhood while my life is still strong in me break me o lord even as the breaks the reluctant hold not thy hand till the work be fully accomplished and the earth be ready for the which for harvest give me back the beloved of my youth the beloved of my life if only for an hour teach me to submit show me beyond all dread of contradiction that vows truly made hold good even in that mysterious world beyond the grave show me that though the body dear home and vehicle of love may die yet love in its essence remains conscious faithful and complete bend my will to harmony with thine o lord and me of self seeking ah but still let me see his face once again once again oh my god and i will rebel no more let me look on him once again if only for a moment and i shall be content hear me i am greatly troubled i am i faint s prayer which had risen into audible speech sank away into silence the near had fallen silent but from across the valley and by distance still came the song of the answering bird to those fine and delicate notes were full of promise they bore testimony to the soul which dwells forever behind the outward aspect and sense whether she fainted in good truth or whether she passed for a while into that state of consciousness wherein the of habit cease to blind and something of the eternal essence and of things is revealed perception for once the limits of ordinary apprehension and ordinary of time and place she could not tell nor did she greatly care for a great peace descended upon her accompanied by a gentle yet penetrating she stood very still her feet set on the warm gravel the night air her about as with a fragrant garment the ghostly sweetness of that far away bird song in her ears while the conviction of the near presence of the man who had so loved her and whom she had so loved deepened within her and therefore it was without alarm without any shock of amazement that gradually she found her aware a slip cup and lip ness of that presence change from something felt to something actually seen he came towards her that first richard her husband and lover across the smooth green of the ground which lay dusky in the mingling half lights of the nearly departed sunset and the rising moon as he had come to her a hundred times in life back from the farms or the from sport or from business or from those early morning rides the clean freshness of the morning upon him after seeing his galloped he came in easy garments short coat breeches long boots and spurs he came with the repose of movement which is bom of a frame and a temperate life and the grace of gentle blood he came with the half smile on his lips and the gladness in his eyes when they first met hers which had always been there however brief the parting and perceived it was just thus our beloved dead must needs return to us should they return at all laying aside the of the spirit in tenderness for mortal weakness even as the christ laid aside the visible glory of the and came a babe among men so must they come in humble every day fashion graciously taking on the manner and habit common to them during earthly life therefore she suffered no shrinking but turned instinctively as she had turned a hundred times laughing very softly in the fulness of content raising her hands throwing back her head knowing that he would come behind her and take her hands in his and kiss her so bending down over her shoulder and when he came she did not need to speak but only to gaze into the face familiar yet touched as it seemed to her with a mysterious and awful beauty beholding which she divined the answer to many questions for she p as one waking from an uneasy dream the comfortable truth of day that her love was not given back to her for the dear reason that her love had never been taken away the fiction of time ceased to rule in her so that the joy of bride and new wed wife the strange sweet of dawning were with her now not as memories merely but as actual ever present facts the and therefore permanent revelation of her individual experience she perceived this continued and must continue since it was the fine flower of her nature the of her personal the of the eternal purpose concerning her of ty god the fiction of old age was so was the bitterness of the mournful fiction of being passed sir richard by and to the second place her place was her own her standing ground in the universal order a absolute and she could not her throne neither could any it away from her she perceived that not but self development not dissolution but was the service required of her and as designed contribution to that end was every joy every sorrow laid upon her since by these was she from all others by these was she built up into a separate existence sane harmonious well a fair lamp lighted with a burning coal from off the altar of that god of whom it is written not only that he is a fire but that he is love all this and more did apprehend beholding the familiar yet mysterious countenance of her well beloved and the tendency of that apprehension | 32 |
made for tranquillity of spirit for a sure and certain hope the faculty which reasons demands explanation and proof might not be satisfied but that f higher faculty which believes assuredly was so nor could it be otherwise since it is the spirit the idea not the letter which life how long she stood thus in tender and though communion with the dead did not know the deepest spiritual experiences like the most exquisite physical ones are to be measured by intensity rather than duration for a space the vision sensibly held her the so desired presence there beside her a personality vivid and distinct yet in a way remote serene as the immense dome of the sky and as the song of the answering and in this from any bodily presence as the song in question differed from that of the bird in the laurel close at hand gradually and with such sense of refreshment as one who bathing in some clear stream at evening away all soil and sweat of a weary journey awoke to more ordinary observation of her material surroundings she became aware that the dog camp had turned singularly restless he away as though wishing to avoid her near neighbourhood crawled back to her with dragging and as though in acute distress and by degrees another sound itself speaking of haste and effort at with the delicate and gracious stillness it came from the crossing the open which loomed up a dark straight ridge against the southern horizon it came in and falling but ever nearer and a slip cup and lip nearer distinct urgent the fast steady trot of a horse the moon meanwhile had swept clear of the edge of the fir forest and while the thin white light of it upon the grass and the beat of the horse hoofs rang out clearer and clearer was aware that the dear vision faded and grew faint as it had come softly without amazement or fear so it departed without agitation or sadness of leaving profoundly consoled the glory of her womanhood restored to her in the assurance that what had been of necessity continued and forever was and therefore she still listened but idly to the approaching sound not reckoning with it as yet though the roll of wheels was now added to the rapid beat of the hoofs of a trotting horse it had turned down over the by the cross road leading to the upper lodge suddenly it ceased the shout of a man s voice loud and a momentary pause then the of heavy iron gates swinging back into place and once again the roll of wheels and that steady urgent determined trot coming nearer and nearer down the elm avenue whose stately rows of trees looked as though made of and silver in the moonlight on it came across the bridge the whiteness of the long water and on again steadily and no less rapidly as though pressed by the hand of a somewhat merciless driver hot to arrive bearer of stirring tidings up the ascending hill to the house lady listened beginning to question whom this of the peace of might be but only vaguely as yet since that which she had recently experienced was so great so wide reaching in its meaning and promise that for the moment it all other possible all other imaginable events the gracious tranquillity which enveloped her could not be penetrated by any anxiety or of momentous as yet it was not so however with camp for a spirit of extravagant and excitement appeared to seize on the dog forgetful of age of stiff limbs and short coming breath he round lady describing crazy circles upon the grass and barking until the din echoed back harshly from against the great red and grey he upon her abject yet compelling and at last as though exasperated by her absence of response turned tail and bounded away through the and along the terrace through the small arched side door into the house and there within stir and movement became more apparent shifting lights flashed out sir richard through the many windows as though in quick search of some eagerly desired presence nevertheless for a little space lingered the fragrance of the wild and of the fair gardens still about her the of the night and faint notes of the s song still her ears it was so difficult to return to and cope with the demands of ordinary life for had she not been caught up into the third heaven and heard words in their for living man to utter but things in this case as in so many other cases refused to make large room for or brook delay from things celestial two servants came out hurriedly from that same arched side door then that devoted called from the window of the red drawing room her s there on the ground don t you see mr winter the hurried along the terrace met him on the steps of the garden hall is anything wrong winter she asked kindly for the trusted servant betrayed unusual signs of emotion am i wanted sir richard has returned my lady he said and his voice shook sir richard is in the gun room he gave orders that your should be told that he would be glad to speak to you immediately chapter ix in which shakes hands with the devil tv y dear this is quite unexpected j v j lady s tone was one of quiet innate a gentle brightness pervaded her whole aspect and manner she looked wonderfully young as though the hands of the clock had been put back by some twenty and odd years every line had disappeared from her face and in her eyes was a clear shining very lovely to behold richard glanced at her as she came swiftly towards him across the room then he looked down | 32 |
again and answered deliberately yes it is as you say quite unexpected this time last night i as little anticipated being back here as you anticipated my coming but one s plans change rapidly and at times mine have done so a slip cup and lip he sat at the large library writing table a pile of letters papers before him judged unworthy of had accumulated during his absence he tore off tore op en quickly yet as though bending his mind with conscious determination to the performance of a self inflicted task looking at the contents of each in turn with an odd mixture of indifference and close attention he flung the major part into the waste paper basket set beside his revolving chair a tall green shaded lamp shed a circle of vivid light upon the silver and leather of the writing table upon the young man s bent head and upon his restless hands as they grasped and straightened and then tore with measured if impatient precision the letters and papers lying before him lady stood resting the tips of her fingers on the comer of the table looking down at him with those clear shining eyes his reception of her had not been but of that she was hardly sensible the assurances of faith the glories of the third heaven still dazzled her somewhat her feet hardly touched earth yet so that her mother love and all its sensitive was as yet somewhat in she spoke again with the same quiet of tone you should have to me dearest and then all would have been ready to welcome you as it is i fear you must feel yourself a trifle neglected i have been or have fancied myself busy all day foolishly about much serving and had gone out to forget maids and food and generally into the dear garden she paused smiling ah it is a gracious night she said full of inspiration you must have enjoyed the drive home the household refuses to take this marriage of yours it demands great magnificence quite as much be sure for its own as for yours it also small difficulties after the manner of well conducted as i imagine since the world began richard tore the of a company offering wealth beyond the dreams of right across with a certain violence oh well the household may forego its magnificence and cease from the of small difficulties alike as far as any marriage of mine is concerned you can tell the household so to morrow mother or i can perhaps the irony of the position would be more nicely pointed by the announcement directly from myself that would the drama sir richard but my dearest said greatly perplexed the whole is at an end lady is not going to marry me and i am not going to marry lady on that point at least she and i are entirely at one all london will know this to morrow perhaps in the interests of its philosophy had better know it to night richard leaned forward opening tearing the papers again a quality was in his voice and speech hitherto unknown to his mother a cold imperious quality in his manner also new to her and these brought her down to earth setting her feet and the earth on which they were thus set was it must be owned rather ugly a woman made of weaker stuff would have cried out against such sudden and painful but happily th for herself and for those about her waking even from dreams of noble and far reaching with not only her wits but her heart in steady action yet she in went back on the revelation that had been vouchsafed to her it was in or rendered suspect because the of human emotion proved to have more extended range and more than she had yet reckoned with her mind was large enough to make room for novel experience in sorrow as well as in joy retaining the while its and therefore a new phase in the development of her child she without hesitation or regret of self love for the disturbance of her own gladness herself to meet it his pride had been wounded somehow she knew not how to the very quick and the smart of that wound was too shrewd as yet for any precious of articulate tenderness to soothe it she must give it time to heal a little meanwhile setting herself to respect his dark humour meet his pride with pride his calm with at least equal calmness she drew a chair up to the end of the table and settled herself to listen quite it will be well dearest she said that you should explain to me clearly what has happened to do so may possible richard s hands paused among the papers he regarded lady not without a admiration but an evil spirit possessed him a necessity of mastery inevitable reaction from recently endured humiliation which a slip cup and lip provoked him to measure his strength against hers he needed a sacrifice to his anger that sacrifice must be in some sort a human one so he deliberately pulled the tall lamp nearer and swung his chair round sideways leaning his elbow on the table with the result that the light rested on his ace it did more it rested upon his body upon his legs and feet the extent of their involuntarily shrank back it was as though he had struck her morally indeed he had struck her for there was a c in this disclosure in this departure from his practice of careful and self respecting concealment meanwhile richard watched her as shrinking her eyelids drooped and quivered mother he said quietly and and when not without p effort she again raised her eyes to his he went on i quite | 32 |
agree with you that it will be well for me to explain with a view to possible it has become necessary that we should clearly understand one another at least that you my dear mother should understand my position fully and finally we have been too nice you and i heretofore and the truth being very far from nice have expended much trouble and ingenuity in our efforts to it we went up to london in the fond hope that the world at large would support us in our self deception so it did for a time but being in the main composed of very fairly honest and sensible p it has grown tired of sentimental lying of helping us to bury our heads like in the sand it has gone over to the side of truth that very far from flattering or pretty truth to which i have just alluded with this result among others that my engagement has come to an abrupt and really rather conclusion he paused go on richard lady said i am listening he drew himself up sitting very erect keeping his eyes steadily fixed on her speaking steadily and coldly though his lips a little lady did me the honour to call on me last night rather later than this herself in the very thick of lady barking s ball for that purpose moved slightly her dress yes considering her character and her training it was a rather surprising d on her part and bore convincing testimony to her agitation of mind did she come sir richard richard into an easier position oh dear no he said allowing for the desperation which dictated her proceedings they were carried out in a very regular manner with a regard for appearances lady is in my opinion a very sweet person she is perfectly modest and has an unusual regard as women for honour and duty as women understand them again his voice took on that quality she brought a friend a young lady with her there was no occasion for me to speak to her she had the good taste to herself during our interview but i saw her in the hall afterwards i shall always remember that very distinctly so i imagine will she then lord waited outside with the carriage oh believe me admitting its inherent originality the affair was conducted with an admirable r ard for appearances again the regular flow of richard s speech was broken his throat had gone very dry lady appealed to me in extremely moving terms articulate and otherwise to set her free to set her free and upon what grounds upon the rather crude but pre eminently sensible grounds my dear mother that after full consideration she foimd the bid was not high enough indeed said yes indeed my dear mother richard repeated does that surprise you it quite ceased to surprise me when she pointed out the facts of the case for she was sincere i respected her for that the position was an one for her she has a charming nature and really wanted to spare me just as much as was possible along with the gaining of her cause her gift of speech is limited you know but then no degree of eloquence or could have rendered that which she had to say agreeable to my self esteem oh on the whole she did it very well very richard raised his head pausing a moment again that of the throat checked his utterance and then recalling the scene of the past night a great wave of pure and simple of immense disappointment immense self disgust broke over him his anger his outraged pride came near being by it he came near losing his bitter and crying aloud for help but he mastered the inclination perhaps unfortunately and continued speaking yes decidedly with the exception of that family do not possess ready tongues yet they contrive to make their a slip cup and lip meaning pretty plain in the end i have just driven over from and am fresh from a fine example of plain speaking from that excellent father of the family lord it was instructive for the main thing after all as we must both agree mother is to understand clearly and to make clearly understood and in this respect you and i i m afraid have failed a good deal blinded by our own fine we have even failed altogether to understand others lady for instance possesses very much more character than it suited us to credit her with you are harsh dearest murmured and her lips trembled not at all he answered i have only said good bye to lying can you honestly deny my dear mother that the whole affair was just one of convenience i told you it strikes me now as a rather primitive announcement that i wanted a wife because i wanted a son a son to prove to me the of my own manhood a son to give me at second hand certain obvious pleasures and which i am as you know from obtaining at first hand you engaged to find me a bride poor little lady for her appeared to meet our being pretty and healthy and too and to suspect the rather mean advantage we proposed to take of her what i know it sounds rather gross stated thus plainly but the day of lies being over dare you deny it well then we proceeded to traffic for this desirable bit of young womanhood of to buy her from such of her relations as were enough to countenance the transaction just as as though we had gone into the common after the manner of the cynical east and for her poor child in fat sheep or doesn t it appear to you almost incredible almost infamous that we | 32 |
you and i mother should have done this thing the price we offered seemed sufficient to some of her p not to all i have learned that past forgetting to day thanks to lord s thick headed but thank heaven she had more heart more sensibility more self respect more decency than we allowed for she plucked up spirit enough to refuse to be bought and sold like a or i think that was rather heroic considering her traditions and the pressure which had been brought to bear to keep her silent i can only honour and reverence her for coming to tell me frankly though at the hour that she preferred a man of no particular sir richard position or fortune but with the ordinary of limbs to and the house in london and my forty to thousand a year richard laughed savagely leaning forward spreading out his arms well my dear mother since as i say the day of lies is over the remnant of a human being you may see here at this moment if you will only have the kindness to look at first had listened in mute surprise bringing her mind not without difficulty into relation to the immediate and the present then watchful had been aroused then anxiety then tenderness denying itself expression since the time for it was not yet ripe but as the minutes lengthened and the flow of richard s speech not only continued but gained in volume and in force sympathy anxiety tenderness were in an emotion of ever deepening anguish so that she sat as one who spell bound a scene of veritable horror from regions celestial to regions she had been hurried with rather suddenness but her sorry journey did not end there for hardly were her feet planted on solid earth again than the demand came that she should descend still further to regions sub regions frankly infernal and this descent to hell though rapid to the point of astonishment was by no means easy rather was it violent and a driving as by blows a rude merciless dragging onward and downward yet even so for all the anguish and shame as of exposure the p of her intention and action the scorn so poured upon her it was less of herself the compelled than of richard the compelling that she thought for even while his anger thus drove and dragged her he himself was tortured in the flame far below so it seemed and that constituted the finest sting of her agony beyond her power to reach or help she after all but stood on the edge of the watching he fought right down in the waves of it fought with himself too more fiercely even than he fought with her so that now as years ago waiting outside the red drawing room hearing the stem tones of the the moan of unspeakable physical pain the grating of a saw the of the living body she so loved was tempted to run a little mad and beat her beautiful head against the wall but age while taking no or from the capacity of suffering still in sane and healthy natures brings a certain to the brain and coolness to the blood therefore sat very still and silent her a slip cup and lip sweet eyes half closed her spirit bowed in prayer surely the all loving god who but a brief hour ago had vouchsafed her the fair vision of the delight of her youth would ease his torment and spare her son and all the while outward nature remained and gracious in aspect as ever the of the night the occasional bark of the fox in the the song of the answering wandered in at the open and along with these came the sweetness of the beds of wild from the grass slopes and the rich languid scent of the blossom of the little round headed orange trees set in green below the guardian on the flight of steps leading up to the main entrance that which had been lovely continued lovely still and therefore perhaps she could hope it even amid the fulness of her anguish the gates of hell might stand open to ascending as well as descending feet and so that road might at last at last be by this tormented child of hers whom though he against her she still loved but whether actually or it would be difficult to say and resented her silence and apparent calm he waited for a time his eyes fastened upon her half averted face then he picked up one of the remaining from the table tore off the glanced at the contents stretched out his left arm holding the said contents suspended over the waste paper basket yes it is evident he declared even you do not care to look well then must you not admit that you and i have been guilty of an extravagance of folly and worse in seriously proposing that a well bom sensitive girl should not only look at habitually and closely but take for all her chance in life a crippled dwarf like me an a human curiosity a creature so that it must be carried about like any baby in arms lest its repulsive should the if leaving the shelter of a railway rug and an arm chair it tries unhappy brute to walk oh i m not angry with her i don t blame her fm not surprised i agree with her down to the ground i and comprehend no man more i told her so last night only amazed at the insane that could ever have induced me to view the matter in any other light women are generally disposed to be hard on one another but if you my dear mother should | 32 |
be in any degree tempted to be hard on i beg you to consider your own engagement your own marriage my father s here interrupted him rising in sudden revolt sir richard no no richard she said that is more my dear than i can either permit or can bear if you have any sort of mercy left in you do not bring your s name and that which lies between him and me into this hideous conversation the young man looked hard at her and then opening his hand let the pieces of torn paper flutter down into the basket it was done with a singularly measured action of casting off some last tie some last link which bound his life and his to his companion yes exactly he said as i expected the day of lying being over you as good as own it an outrage to your taste and your affections that so frightful a thing as i am should venture to range itself alongside your memories of your husband out of your own mouth are you judged my dear mother and if i am thus to you upon whom after all i have some natural claim what must i be to others think of it what indeed made no attempt to answer perception of the grain of truth which the vast the glaring injustice of his her his speech was cruel his humour such that it was vain to protest and the of it all affected her to the point of physical weakness she moved across the room intending to gain the door and go for it seemed to her the limit of her powers of endurance had been reached but her strength would not carry her so far she stumbled on the comer of the shining tiger skin rug recovered herself trembling and laid hold of the high narrow marble shelf of the chimney piece for support she must rest a little lest her strength should wholly desert her and she should fall before reaching the door behind her within the circle of richard remained still tearing flinging away that which remained of the pile of papers this persistent activity of his in its mixture of purpose and abstraction was seeming to s listening ears as though it might go on until not only these waste papers but all and everything within his reach things spiritual things of the heart duties obligations gracious and tender as well as things merely material might be thus judged worthless rent asunder and cast forth what would be spared she wondered what left and when the work of destruction was completed what would follow next herself she turned to close the interview by some brief pleading of and to escape but as she did so the sound of tearing ceased richard slipped down from his place at the writing table and a slip cup and lip shuffling across the room flung himself into the long low arm chair on the opposite side of the fireplace i don t want to detain you for an unreasonable length of time mother he said we understand each other in the main i think and that without or self deception at last but there are details to be considered and as i leave here early to morrow morning i think you ll feel with me it s desirable we should have our talk out there are a good many for which it s only reasonable and prudent to make provision on the eve of an long absence practically a good many people are on me one way and another and i don t consider it honourable to leave their affairs at loose ends however uncertain my own future may be richard s voice had still that quality while his bearing was instinct with a coldly and almost force though little to fear felt strangely shaken strangely by the dead weight of the personality by perception of the innate and tremendous vigour of this being to whom she had given birth she had imagined specially during the last few months of happy and intimate companionship that if ever mother knew her child she knew richard through and through but it appeared she had been mistaken for here was a new richard at once terrible and magnificent regarding whom she could nothing with certainty he defied her tenderness he her imagination he her will between his thoughts desires intentions and hers a blind blank space had suddenly itself impenetrable to her thought in person he was here close beside her in mind he was far away and to this last not only his words but his manner his expression his singular sombre beauty bore convincing testimony he had with an almost unnatural rapidity leaving her far behind in his presence she felt mentally even as a child she remained standing holding tightly to the narrow ledge of the she felt dazed and giddy as in face of some some of nature in relation to her son she was conscious in truth that her whole world had suffered where are you going she asked at last very simply and everywhere where amusement or even the semblance of it is to be had he answered do you wish to know how long i shall be away just precisely as long as amusement in any form offers itself and as my power of being sir richard amused remains to me this strikes you as slightly i am afraid that s a point my dear mother upon which i am indifferent you and i have posed rather on the exalted side of things so far have strained at and finished up by a remarkably full grown this whole business of my proposed marriage has been an but graceful when looked at in the common sense way in which most people of necessity look at it lord appealed to me against myself which appeared | 32 |
to me slightly humorous as one man of the world to another that was an eye it was likewise a profitable lesson i promptly laid it to heart and it is exclusively from the point of view of the man of the world that i propose to regard myself and my circumstances and my personal peculiarities in future so to begin with if you please from this time forth we put aside all question marriage in my case we don t make any more attempts to buy innocent and well bred young girls inviting them to my obvious in consideration of my little title and my money richard ceased to look at lady he looked away through the open window into the serene sky of the summer night a certain hunger in his expression not altogether pleasant to witness fortunately he continued with something between a laugh and a sneer there is a mighty army of women always has been who don t come under the head of innocent young girls though some of them have plenty of breeding of a kind they attach no superstitious importance to the marriage ceremony my position and money may obtain me in their direction lady ceased to require the cold support of the marble it is unnecessary for us to discuss that subject at least richard she said the young man turned his head again looking full at her and again the distance that divided her from him became to her cruelly apparent while his strength b ot in her a shrinking of fear i am sorry he replied but i can t agree with you there it is inevitable that we should differ in the future and that you should frequently i can t expect you to yourself from prejudice as i am already i am not sure i even wish that still whatever the future may bring forth of this my dear mother i am determined to make a clean breast a slip cup and lip so that you shall never have cause to charge me with lack of frankness or of attempt to deceive you yet at the moment the poor mother s heart cried out to be deceived if thereby it might be a little of suffering then a nobler spirit prevailing within her rallied her fortitude better he should be bound to her even by cynical of projected vice than not bound at all listening now she gained the right a bitter enough right to command a measure of his confidence in those still darker days which as she apprehended only too certainly lay ahead so she answered calmly go on as you say we may differ in the future i may but i can be silent you are right it is better for us both that i should hear and once more the young man was compelled to yield her a admiration his tone softened somewhat i don t like to see you stand mother he said our conversation may be prolonged one never quite knows what may crop up you will be and to morrow when i am gone there will be things to do lady drew forward the chair from the end of the writing table her back was towards the lamp her face in shadow of this she was glad in a degree it lessened the strain the sweet night air coming in at the open fluttered the lace on her as with the touch of a light cool hand of this she was glad too it was refreshing and she grew exhausted and physically weak richard observed her not without solicitude i am afraid you are not well mother he said but shook her head smiling upon him with misty eyes and lips somewhat tremulous i am always well she replied only to night it has been given me to scale heights and sound opposing depths and i am a little overcome by perplexity and by surprise but what does that signify i shall have plenty of time too much probably in which to rest and range my ideas when you are gone my dearest you must not be here alone oh no people will visit me no doubt animated by kindly wishes to lessen my solitude she answered still smiling remembrance of st s letter came to her mind could it be that the girl had some of what was in store for her and that this had inspired the slight over warmth of her of affection would always be ready to should i ask her she said a sir richard all solicitude passed from richard s expression all softening from his tone by all means ask her that would cap the climax and round the irony of the situation to admiration indeed why inquired painfully impressed by the renewed bitterness of his manner if you re fond of her that is sufficient she and i have never been very s but that s a detail i shall be gone therefore pray have her or anybody else you happen to fancy so long as you do have you mustn t be here alone remains faithful through all chances and changes but i imagine even has sufficient social sense to perceive that may be a little out of place at this juncture at least i sincerely hope he ll perceive it for otherwise he will have to be made to do so and that will be a nuisance what are you lady exclaimed by what strange and thoughts are you possessed to night i am learning to look at things as the average man of the world looks at them that s all he said we have been too refined you and i to be self critical with the consequence that we have allowed ourselves a considerable degree of latitude in many directions permanent residence here ranks among the fine fanciful of | 32 |
accepted with which we have indulged ourselves but are to be called in future at least by me so for the very same reason that i go forth like the average man of the world to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season do i object to or any other man being your guest during my absence unless you have some woman of your own position in life living here with you the in social matters have changed once and for all i have come to a sane mind and the eccentric and paltry by means of which we have attempted you and i to keep disagreeable facts at bay truth bare and is the only goddess i worship henceforth he leaned forward laying his hands upon the arms of his chair his manner was harsh still but all coldness had departed from it rather did a white heat of passion him dreadful to witness yes it is wisest to repeat that so that on your part there may be no excuse for any shadow of the have altered the old ones can never be restored i a slip cup and lip want to have you grasp this mother swallow it it so that it passes into fibre and of your every thought about me for an an unreasonable idea widely among respectable sentimental so called religious persons regarding those who are the victims of accident or like myself are physically disgraced from birth because we have been deprived of our natural rights because we have so little we are expected to be grateful for the contemptible that we have because by his neglect or for his amusement the creator has tortured us us setting us up as a laughing stock before all man and because he has played a ghastly and brutal practical joke on us fixing the marks of low comedy in our living flesh and bone therefore we are to be more pious more clean living temperate and discreet than the rest to bow beneath the cross gratefully to kiss the rod those of conduct which are smiled at and taken for granted in a man made after the normal comely fashion become a scandal in the case of a poor unhappy devil like me at which good people hold up their hands in horror i tell you i m sick of such cowardly cant a pretty example the almighty s set me of justice and mercy handsome encouragement he has given me to be virtuous and sober much i have for which to praise his holy name without excuse or faintest show of reason he has elected to curse and the curse will cling forever and ever till they lay me in a coffin nearly half as short again as that of any other man and leave the of my to be and at eaten away by the worms in the dark richard stretched out his hands palms upward and in return for all this shall i bless no indeed no thank you not even towards god almighty himself will i play the part of and i have fine enough stuff in me let alone the energy by the of his injustice to take higher grounds with him than that i will break what men hold to be his laws wherever and whenever i can i will make hay of his so called natural and moral order just as often as i get the chance i will curse and again curse back the speaker s voice was deep and filling the whole room his utterance deliberate and his face dark with the beauty of hatred hearing him seeing him thus s fortitude her she sir richard ceased to distinguish or nature gave way she knelt upon the floor before him her hands clasped tears down her cheeks but of her attitude and aspect she was unconscious oh richard richard she cried forgive me curse me my dearest throw all the blame on me my dearest i accept it not on god only try try to forgive forgive me for being your mother forgive me that i ever loved and married forgive me the intolerable wrong which all i did you before your birth i humble myself before you and with reason for i am the cause i who would give my life for your happiness my blood for your healing a thousand times but through all these years i have done my poor best to serve you and to make up the and which you lash so and rightly perhaps were the fruit of my for you rail at me i deserve it perhaps i have been but only once or twice and for a moment i was towards you here in the garden to night but then i supposed you content ah i hardly know what i say only rail at me my beloved not at god and then try try not to leave me in anger try before you go to forgive richard had sunk back in his chair his hands clasped behind his head watching her it gave him the strangest sensation to see his mother kneeling before him thus at first it shocked him almost to the point of heated protest as against a thing and then the devils of wounded pride of and of revolt asserting themselves he began to relish to be appeased by the sight little lady and all that of which she was the symbol had disappointed and escaped him but here was a woman worth a dozen in beauty in intellect and in heart prostrate before him imploring his as the penitent the of the priest an evil gladness took him that he had power thus to so a creature his of pain since he himself suffered his of dominion since he himself had been defied and was | 32 |
in a degree satisfied his was at once and it is absurd to speak of forgiveness he said presently and slowly as it is absurd to speak of these are mere words having no real in fact we appear to have but actually and essentially we are as leaves driven by the wind where it blindly drives there we blindly go so it has been from the beginning so it always will be in the last twenty a slip cup and lip four hours there are many things i have ceased to believe in and among them my dear mother is human responsibility he paused and lady towards her chair with a certain authority therefore calm yourself he said grieve as little as may be about all this matter and let us talk it over without further emotion he waited a brief space giving her time to recover her composure and then continued coldly with a careful from any show of feeling let us dear our minds of cant and go forward knowing that there is really neither good nor evil for these even as god himself whose existence i treated from the just now so as to supply myself with a to shoot a a at which to a row of set up for the mere satisfaction of knocking them down again these are plausible invented by man in the vain effort to protect himself and his fellows from the sense of loneliness and which on him if he catches so much as a passing glimpse of the gross comedy of human human affection briefly human existence but strive as he might excitement gained on richard once more for young blood is hot and along the veins specially under the whip of real or imagined disgrace he sat upright grasping the arms of his chair and looking not at his mother but away into the deep of the summer night perhaps my personal peculiarities confer on me unusually acute perception of the inherent of the human comedy i propose to take the lesson to heart they teach me not to sacrifice the present to the future but to fling away like so much waste paper and just take that which i can immediately get they tell me to limit my horizon and go the common way of common coarse man in as far as that way is possible to me and be of this world worldly and so mother i want you to understand that from this day forth i turn over a new leaf not only in thought but in conduct i am going to have just all that my money and position and even this vile for by god i ll use that what people won t give for love they ll give for can bring me of pleasure and i am going to lay hold of life with these rather horribly strong arms of mine he looked across at lady with a smile strong he repeated strong as a young bull s i mean to tear the very out of living to tear knowledge excitement out of it sir richard making them by right of conquest my own i will compel existence to yield me all that it other men and more because my senses are finer my acquaintance with sorrow more intimate my quarrel with fortune more vital and more just as i cannot have a wife have as i cannot have honest love i ll have gratified lust i am not stupid i shall not follow the beaten track my imagination has been stimulated into rather dangerous activity by the pre insult put upon me and now that i have myself i propose to apply my imagination practically the young man flung himself back in his chair again there ought to be startling results he said with gloomy exultation don t you think so mother there should be startling results lady bowed herself together putting her hands over her eyes then raising her head she managed to smile at him though very sadly her sweet face drawn by exhaustion and by lately shed tears ah yes my dearest she answered no doubt the results will be startling but whether any sensible increase of happiness either to yourself or others will be counted among them is open to question richard laughed bitterly i shall have lived anyhow he rejoined worn out not and out which according to our former fine fanciful programme seemed the only probable of my unlucky existence his tone changed becoming quietly and indifferent i am entering horses for some of the french events and i go through to paris to morrow to see various men there and make the necessary arrangements i shall take with me for a few days but the stables will not give you any trouble he will have given all the orders very well said mechanically later i shall go on to rallied somewhat de is there she said not without a trace of her former pride certainly de is there he answered that is why i go i want to see her it is inconsistent i admit for remains the one person untouched by the wreck of the former order of things pray let there be no on that point she belonged to the ideal order she belongs to it still a slip cup and lip ah my dear my dear almost cried his hurt her a little too much so that the small flame of decent pride was yes he went on there was my my cardinal mistake for i was a traitor to all that was noblest and best in me when i persuaded myself and weakly permitted vou to persuade me that a marriage is better than a love in which marriage is impossible that lady poor little soul bought paid for and my admitted property could fill s place though | 32 |
was and i intend her to remain so for i care for her enough to hold her honour as sacred as i do your own for ever inaccessible lady staggered to her feet that is enough richard she said that is enough if you have more to say in pity leave it until to morrow the young man looked at her strangely you are ill mother he said no no i am only broken hearted she replied and a broken heart alas never killed so healthy a body as mine i shall survive this and more perhaps god knows do not vex yourself about me go live your life as it seems fit to you i have not the will even had i the right to restrain you and meanwhile i will be the steward of your goods as long ago when you were a child and belonged to me wholly you can trust me to be faithful and discreet at least in financial and practical matters if you ever need me i will come even to the ends of the earth and should the desire take you to return here you will find me and so good bye my darling i am foolishly tired i grow light headed and dare not linger lest in my weakness i say that which i afterwards regret she passed to the door and went out without looking back left to himself richard crossed to the writing table swung himself up into the revolving chair and remained there and papers far into the night but once stooping with long armed to the lowest drawer of the table a madness of disgust towards the of his own person seized on and tore him o god god god he cried aloud in the extremity of his passion why hast thou made me thus and to that question as yet there was no answer though it rang afar over the sleeping park and up to the clear shining stars of the and peaceful summer night book v s progress chapter i in which the reader is courteously entreated to grow older by the space of some sail southward ho away four years and to the south wind came fresh across the bay from the range of the the blossoms of the trees breaking from the smooth grey stems and on which they perch so fell in a red shower upon the of the marble pavement upon the waves of the fountain basin and upon the curls and shoulders of the bust of standing in the shade of the grove of and which sheltered the square hill garden at this hour of the morning from the of the sun they floated as far even as the steps of the on the extreme right the dome of which showed dark and livid on the one side white and on the other against the immense and radiant of mountain sea and sky the garden its fountains neatly shrubs and formal paved was backed by a large villa of the square flat order common to southern italy the record of its age had recently suffered by application of a coat of of a colour between faint yellow and and by the of the fine in character the narrow between its range of shutters otherwise the aspect of the villa showed but small alteration since the year when for a few historic weeks the glorious lady and her strangely train condescended to occupy it prior s progress to taking up their residence at the near by the walls were sufficiently massive to withstand a siege the windows of the ground floor set in deeply work were cross barred as those of a prison above the central windows and door of the opened on to a terrace of black and white marble from which at either end a wide curved led down into the garden the first floor consisted of a of noble rooms each of whose lofty windows gave on to a balcony of wrought very in design the immediately below the painted of the in height and in detail with the the villa was situated upon an advancing spur of hill so that looking down from its looking out from between the pale and slender columns of the the whole city of lay revealed below that bewildering union of modem commerce and classic association its its palms its palaces its crowded hoarse shouting its theatres and giant churches its steep and filthy lanes black with shadow its its broad sun its glittering blue waters its forest of tall and innumerable close packed of ocean going ships i city of glaring heaven of hell of horses all the western world over for natural beauty for spiritual and moral i breeding laughing fighting e ty o music city of fever and death at once abominable and city to which spite of noise cruelty and those will return of necessity and return again whose imagination has once been taken captive in the of her many coloured net and among the of on the brilliant morning in question in the early spring of the year open and open eyed to its manifest and manifold alike the superficial beauty and of it was very certainly de several years had elapsed since she had visited this fascinating locality and she could congratulate herself upon conditions adapted to a more intimate and comprehensive acquaintance with its very various than she had ever enjoyed before she had spent more than one winter here it is true immediately subsequent to her marriage but she had then been required to associate exclusively with the members of her husband s family and to fill a definite position in the aristocratic society of the place the tone of that society was not a little yet being sir richard in the saving grace of humour as to the feminine portion | 32 |
of it at all events its proved sadly deficient in vital interest the fair displayed as small intelligence in their as in their piety in respect of both they remained ignorant prejudiced hopelessly conventional their noble of the understood and did these things better so reflected she found herself both bored and irritated she feared she had taken up her residence in southern italy quite three centuries too late but all that was in the past heaven be praised for it just now she was her own mistress at liberty thanks to the fortunes of war to herself as she pleased and obey any caprice that took her the position was ideal in its freedom while the value of it was by contrast with recent disagreeable experiences for the and of the siege of paris were but lately over she had come through them in health and fortune yet they had left their mark during those months of all disappointment and disaster the eternal laughter in which she trusted had rung harshly to the breaking down of self confidence and light hearted philosophy it scared her somewhat it made her feel old it chilled her with suspicion of the of the four last things death and judgment heaven and hell the power of a merry faint amid the scream of shells and long drawn of the indeed became superstitious thereby falling low in her own self esteem she took to churches and spending long still days with the her former teachers within the of the circumstances so worked upon her that she made her submission and was solemnly and duly received back into the fold of the church she confessed yet with certain the priest after all is but human it is only charitable to be considerate of his feelings so she argued and avoid his conscience poor dear man by your own reputation too violently the practice of religion was a help truly it was since it served to pass the time and then who could tell but that it might not prove really useful hereafter as when all is said and done those dread four last things will present themselves to the mind in hours of depression with haunting it is clearly wise then to be on the safe side of holy church in these matters accepting her own assertion that she is very certainly on the side of the deity yet notwithstanding her pious exercises de progress existing circumstances excessively disturbing and she was filled with an immense self pity she feared her h th was failing she became nervously sensible of her twenty years telling herself that her youth and the glory of it had departed she wore black dresses rolled pulled selecting mary as her special she made a careful study of the life and legends of that saint this proved to her imagination she proceeded to write a little one act drama concerning the holy woman s dealings subsequent to her quite late in life in fact with such as survived of her former lovers the dialogue was very moving in parts read it aloud one bleak january evening by the light of a single candle to her friend m paul poet and with whom just then by her own desire her relations were severely and they both wept the application though delicate was obvious and those tears appeared to lay the dust of so many pleasant sins and promise of so heavy a crop of virtue that by inevitable action of the law of the two friends found it more than ever difficult to say farewell and part that night now looking back on all that it calmly in perspective her action and attitude struck as somewhat prayer and have too often a tendency to kick the beam when fear ceases to weight the balance and so it followed that the lust of the flesh the lust of the eye and the pride of life presented themselves to her as powers by no means contemptible or unworthy of this morning while she sat at the furnished breakfast table beneath the dome of the airy and gazed out between its slender columns over the lines of the painted city and glittering waters of the bay to the of rising in imperial purple against the sky to day sign as she noted of fine weather omen as she trusted of good fortune the smoke of its everlasting up and up into the atmosphere and then drifted away a gigantic shaped toward and the open sea and beholding these things out of simple physical well being fulness of bread conviction of her own beauty and the merry of these she fell to projecting a second a companion one act drama upon the life of the but this time before the saint s at an altogether earlier stage of her very instructive history and this drama she would not read ta m not a bit of it in it he should have neither part nor lot which determination she shook h o sir richard honey coloured head holding up both hands with a gesture of humorous and well defined for in truth the day of m appeared just now to be very effectually over it had been reasonable enough to urge her natural fears in through a war distracted land although guarded by charles most discreet and of english men servants and z lie most capable of french lady s maids as excuse for paul joining her at a station a short distance out of paris and accompanying her south a la d la a beautiful woman can hardly be too careful of her person amid the many and primitive dangers which battle and invasion let loose de himself jealous though he was could hardly have objected to her thus securing effective protection had he | 32 |
been acquainted with the fact that he was not so acquainted was of course the but the frontier once reached the better part of three weeks had elapsed in the reaching of it and all danger of war and tumult past both the necessity and to be frank the entertainment of m s presence became less convincing grew a trifle weary of his his suspicions his de his literary and personal vanity the charm the excitement of the situation began to wear rather while the practical and it imposed disclosed themselves a lover as reflected provided you see enough of him offers but small improvement upon a husband he is liable to become and after the manner of the natural man he is liable to forget that the relation is permitted not that it exists on merely and is therefore at the will of either party the last days of that same southern journey had been marked by and subsequent in an ascending scale of and on the part of her companion in s case familiarity tended very rapidly to breed contempt she ceased to be in the least amused by these at after a scene of a particularly excited nature she lost all patience frankly told her admirer that she found him not a little ridiculous and requested him to remove himself his and his elsewhere m took refuge in nerves threats of and his bed chamber in the seclusion of which apartment left him and while attended by her servants she gaily resumed her journey s progress an sense of independence possessed her of the charm of her own society of the absence of all external compelling or directing of her movements no of her liberty possible the world before her where to choose not only were dismal of siege and slaughter left behind and m just now most wearisome of lovers left behind also but de himself had for the time being become a quantity the news of more fighting more had just reached her though the german armies were marching back to the now wholly german for upon unhappy paris had come an hour of deeper humiliation than any whidi could be procured by the action of foreign foes she was a kingdom divided against herself a mother torn by her own children news had reached too news special and highly of her husband early in that struggle he had in the all the manhood and honest sentiment resident in him stirred into fruitful activity by the shame and peril of his adopted country now learned he had distinguished himself in the holding of against the had been by upon his endurance and resource had been offered and had accepted a commission in the regular army promotion was rapid during the later months of the war and probability pointed to the young man having started on a serious military career well let him both start and continue commented i am the last person to be otherwise than delighted just in proportion as he is occupied he ceases to be inconvenient if he good if he is shot good likewise for him and a hero s tomb for me and permanent an agreeably romantic conclusion to a profoundly marriage fresh proof were such needed of the truth of the immortal dr saying that all is for the best in this best of all possible worlds in such happy frame of mind did madame de continue during her visit to and upon her onward way to but there self admiration ceased to be all sufficient for her she needed to read confirmation of that admiration in other eyes and the grey city uplifted on its star shaped hill offered her a somewhat grim reception piercing winds swept across the valley from the still snow clad above the austere dark walled churches and palaces showed forbidding merciless almost through th sir richard driving wet even in fair summer weather of ancient and terror in the shadow of those and over the rock of those solemn streets there was an element in which raised a certain anger in the place seemed to defy her and make light of her pretensions as during the siege of paris so now echoes of the eternal laughter saluted her ears in tone nor was the society offered by the in the hotel weather bound like herself of a specially description it was composed almost exclusively of middle aged english and american ladies and of morals and anxiously active intelligence they wrapped their lean forms in and ill cut they pervaded and guide book in hand they of and architecture having but little life in themselves they tried rather vainly to warm both hands at the fire of the life of the past among them in her vigorous and self secure though fine drawn beauty was about as much at home as a young in a hen they admired they vaguely feared they greatly wondered at her had one of those glorious young or clothed in scarlet winged sword on as has painted them on the walls of the very strangest union of and radiant arch grace had one of these magnificent gentlemen ruffled into the hotel parlour he could hardly have startled the eyes and p the understanding of the virtuous and learned saxon and feminine beings there assembled more than did madame de for all such creatures for the great company of women in whose outlook man plays no immediate or active part had in truth small respect they appeared to her so inadequate so from the interests of existence more than once in a spirit of mischievous malice she was tempted to bid the good ladies lay aside their and and increase their knowledge of the italian character and language by study of the of or of certain merry tales to be found in the pages of the she had | 32 |
copies of both works in her she was prepared moreover to illustrate such ancient by modem instances for the truth of which last she could quite honestly but on second thoughts she spared her victims the was not worth the chase what self s progress respecting can after all go a hunting in a hen so from the neighbourhood of their clothes questioning glances and under pursuit of art and literature she removed herself to her sitting room upstairs charles should serve her meals there in future for to sit at table with these clothed in garments came near her meanwhile as she watched the rain streaming down the panes of the big windows watched thin legged heavily figures wind across the grey black street into the shelter of some port it must be owned her spirits went very sensibly down into her boots even the presence of the despised and would have been grateful to her remembrance of all the less successful of her career her and in that connection of necessity the thought of returned upon her for neither the affair of her childhood that of the little with blush roses in her or the other affair of now nearly four years back the intimate drama within sight of its climax by of lady could be counted otherwise than as failures it was strange how deep seated was her discontent under this head as on queen mary s heart the word so on hers she sometimes thought might be found written when she was dead in the last four years richard had give her gifts he had treated her with a fine old chivalry as something sacred and apart but he rarely sought her society he seemed rather carefully to her pursuit his name was not exactly a patent of discretion and in these days unfortunately still found his care of her reputation as far as association of her name with his own went somewhat exaggerated she could hardly believe him to be indifferent to her and yet oh th whole matter was unsatisfactory unsatisfactory of a piece with the influences of this grim and city with the detestable weather evident there without and then suddenly an idea came to de causing the delicate colour to spring into her cheeks and the light into her eyes veiled by those fringed for some two years earlier richard had taken her husband s villa at on lease it offering as he said a convenient v to him while along the adjacent up the black sea to and eastward as far as and the gulf the house save for the actual fabric of it had become rather and to sir richard de it appeared clearly advantageous to get the property off his hands and touch a considerable yearly sum rather than have his pocket drained by on a place in which he no longer cared to live so the villa passed for the time being into richard s possession it pleased his fancy heard he had restored and it at great expenditure of money and of taste these facts she recalled and recalling them found both the of rain wind town without and anger memories of within fade before a vision of sun bathed and of that nobly placed and painted villa in which as it seemed to her was just now resident promise of high entertainment the delight of circumstance the delight of long cherished revenge all the rapture of her existing freedom came back on her while her brain fertile in of adventure projected scenes and situations not unworthy of the pen of himself fired by such thoughts she moved from the window stood before a tall glass at right angles to it and contemplated her own fair reflection long and intimately an absorbing interest in the general effect and in the details of her person possessed her she moved to and fro observing the grace of her carriage the set of her the of her waist she her soft trailing tea gown throwing the loose of it back examining her bare neck the swell of her beautiful bosom the firm of her arms from shoulder to elbow her skin was of a clear golden whiteness smooth fine in texture as that of a child placing her hands on the gilded frame of the mirror high up on either side she observed her face exquisitely in colour even as seen in this mournful afternoon light she leaned forward gazing intently into her own eyes meeting in them as in the surface of the fatal pool the radiant image of herself and this filled her with a certain a self love a profound persuasion of the power and completeness of her own beauty she her own neck her own lips with lingering finger tips she bent her bright head and kissed the swell of her breasts never had she received so entire assurance of the magic of her own personality it is all all as perfect as ever she exclaimed and while it remains p it should be made use of waved her hand smiling to the smiling image in the mirror you and i together your beauty and my brains i pit s progress the pair of us against all mankind i together we have worked pretty little miracles before now causing the proud to lay aside their pride and the their virtue a man of strange passions shall hardly escape us nor shall the mother that bare him e either her face hardened her laughing eyes to the colour of fine steel she lifted the soft curling hair from off her right temple a small shaped that is the one and we will exact the price of it you and i to the ultimate then she moved away smitten by sudden amusement at her own attitude which she perceived risked being | 32 |
slightly ridiculous were to her thinking articles for home consumption yet her purpose held none the less strongly and steadily because excitement lessened she her tea gown tied the streaming ribbons of it patted bows and into place walked the length of the room a time or two to recover her composure then rang the bell and on the arrival of charles correct in dress and his clean shaven sharp ed countenance controlled to of expression she said the weather is abominable the man servant set down the tray on a little table before her turned out the comers of the arranged the tea things it is a uttle dull my lady how is the glass falling ly my lady i cannot remain here no my lady find out about the trains south to yes my lady we can join the roman express at when does your wish to start i must telegraph first certainly my lady charles produced telegraph forms it was s boast that upon request the man could produce any known object firom a packet of pins to a white elephant or fully she had a lively regard for her servant s ability so had he it may be added for that of his mistress the was written and despatched but the reply took four days in reaching madame de and during those days it rained incessantly the said reply came in the form of a letter sir richard was at so the writer sir richard his steward had reason to believe but it was probable he would return to shortly meanwhile he the steward had permanent orders to the effect that the villa was at madame de disposition should she at any time express the wish to visit it she would find everything prepared for her reception this information caused singular satisfaction it was very charming very courteous of richard thus to remember her she set forth from full of ingenious purpose light of heart thus did it come about that on the afore mentioned gay spring morning madame de beneath the dome of the airy all outstretched before her while the blossoms of the trees fell in a shower upon the of the marble pavement and the waves of the fountain basin and upon the clustered curls and shoulders of the bust of stationed within the soft gloom of the and grove she had arrived the previous evening and had met with a dignified welcome from the numerous household her manner was gracious kindly she intended it to be all that she slept well rose in health and spirits partook of a meal offering example of the most finished italian cooking finish in any department appealed to s artistic sense life was sweet moreover it was interesting her breakfast ended rising from her place at table she looked away to the purple of the great and the of the smoke of its everlasting the sight of this magnificent menacing evidence of the might of the powers of nature quickened the pagan instinct within her she wanted to worship and even in so doing she became aware of a kindred something in of an answering and energy a certain menace to the conventional works and ways and fancied security of groping man the insolence of a great lady the primitive instincts of a great filled her with an enormous pride a reckless turning she glanced back across the formal garden bright with set in glossy foliage with early roses with and orange blossom towards the villa upon the black and white marble a man leaned his elbows she could see his broad shoulders his bare head from his height she took him at first to be kneeling as motionless he looked towards her and towards the splendid view then she perceived that he was not kneeling but standing upright she s progress understood and a very vital sensation ran right through her causing the turn in her blood mercy of heaven she said to herself is it conceivable that now at this time of day i am capable of the folly of losing my head chapter ii wherein time is discovered to have worked changes however did not stay to debate as to the state of her emotions she had had more than enough of reflection of late now action invited her she responded the sweep of her blue cloth skirts sent the fallen dancing to left and right in crazy whirling companies she did not wait even to put on her broad garden hat the crown of it encircled as luck would have it by a of pale pink and pale pink roses but the sunshine with no head covering than the of her hair rapidly she passed up the central alley between the double row of glossy bushes laughter in her downcast eyes and a delicious thrill of excitement at her heart she felt strong and light her being penetrated and sustained throughout by the air the sparkling crystal clear atmosphere yet for all her eagerness remained an artist she would not effects she sensations thus reaching the base of the black and white marble wall supporting the terrace where in its long length it was broken by an arched of rough in which maiden hair rooted the delicate of it caressing the shoulders of an with ever dripping water upon her rounded hip turned sharp to the left and arrived at the bottom of the descending flight of steps without once looking up that richard still leaned on the some twelve to fourteen feet above that same cool green she knew well enough but she did not choose to anticipate either sight or greeting of him both should come to her as a whole she would receive a single and impression so silently without apparent haste she passed up the flight of shallow steps on to the edge of | 32 |
the wide black and white platform it was sun bathed suspended as it seemed between that glorious prospect of city mountain sea and the sir richard purity of the southern heavens it was vacant save for the solitary figure and the sharp edged yet shadow cast by that same figure for the young man had moved as she came up from the garden below he stood clear of the only the fingers of his left hand resting upon the of it seeing him thus the strangeness the grotesque of his person struck her as never before but this though it did not move her to mirth as in her childhood moved her to pity no more now than it then had that which it did was to to her excitement to provoke and to satisfy the instinct of cruelty latent in every pagan nature such as hers could have chosen the moment of her birth she would have been a great lady of imperial rome holding power of life and death over her slaves and the and with which the east should have furnished her palace in the eternal city and her dainty villa away there on the purple of at or the delight of her own loveliness of her own triumphant health and activity would have been increased by the sight of by power over such and hopelessly human creatures and the first sight of richard now though she did not stop very certainly to the exact how and why of her increasing satisfaction took its root in this same craving for by means of the suffering and loss of others while unconsciously the fine of her satisfaction was heightened by the fact that the victim now before her was her equal in birth her superior in wealth in intelligence and worldly station but as she drew nearer richard the while making no effort to go forward and receive her self complacency and self suffered for this same meeting during those rain blotted days of waiting at imagination had presented as the inexperienced tender hearted sweet ed lad she had known and at four years earlier as has already been stated her meetings with him since then had been brief and now she perceived that imagination had played a silly trick upon her the boy she had left the man who stood awaiting her so calmly were save in one distressing peculiarity two widely different persons for in the interval richard had eaten very freely of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and that diet had left its mark not only on his character but on his appearance he had all trace of boyish charm having vanished his skin s progress though darkened by recent sea was his features were at once finer and more pronounced than of old the bone of the face giving it a noticeable of outline index at once of will and breeding the powerful jaw and strong muscular neck might have argued a measure of but happily the young man s mouth had not his lips were compressed rarely into the curves which as a lad had rendered his smile so peculiarly engaging still there was no trace of in their form or expression hard living had indeed in richard s case been matter of rather than of appetite the intellectual part of him had never fallen wholly into bondage to the animal he the borders of the forbidden hoping to find some me with which to the ache of a vital discontent rather than by any of natural much of this quick quickly apprehended he was more serious and mentally more distinguished than she had supposed him and this while opening up new sources of interest and her ambition of conquest disclosed difficulties in the way of such conquest moreover she was slightly staggered by the strength and of his countenance the repose of his bearing and his eyes affected her oddly they were cold and clear as some frosty winter s night the pupils of them very small they seemed to see all things yet tell nothing they were as windows opening endless of empty space they at once curiosity and baffled inquiry s excitement deepened and she was sensible it needed all the support all the flattery with which the fact of his supplied her self love to prevent her standing in awe of him as consequence her address was impulsive rather than studied richard i have had a detestable winter she said it wore upon me it me i was growing dull superstitious even i wanted to get away to put a long distance between myself and certain experiences certain memories i wanted to hear another language you have always been sympathetic to me it was natural if a little to take refuge with you madame de spoke with an and very air of apology her face slightly flushed her arms hanging straight at her sides the long pink strings of the hat she carried in her left hand upon the black squares of the pavement sir richard to do so seemed obvious in contemplation i did not stop to consider possible objections but in execution the objections become more apparent i want you to me tell me i have not too greatly in coming thus of course not he answered i hope you found the house comfortable and everything prepared for you the servants had their orders i know i know that you should have provided against the possibility of my coming some day moved me a little more than i care to tell you paused looking upon him and that look had in it a delicate to a caress but the young man s manner though courteous was lacking in any hint of enthusiasm could have imagined and that her something of irony in his tone oh there s no matter for thanks he said the house was yours will | 32 |
be yours again the least i can do since you and de are good enough to let me live in it meanwhile is to beg you to make any use you please of it indeed it is i rather than you who come just now i had not intended being back here for another month but there was a case of suspiciously like on board my at and it seemed wisest to get away to sea as soon as possible one of the oh he s all right now still i shall send him home to england he s a married man the only one i have on board a useful fellow but he must go i don t choose to take the responsibility of creating the widow and the whenever one of my crew chances to fall sick and depart into the unknown richard talked on very evidently for the mere sake of passing the time and all the while those eyes which told nothing dwelt quietly upon de until she became nervously impatient of their scrutiny for it was not at all thus that she had pictured and this meeting during those days of waiting at we got in last night he continued but i slept on board i heard you had just arrived and i did not care to run the risk of disturbing you after your journey you are very considerate remarked she was surprised out of all readiness of speech this new richard impressed her but she resented his manner he took her so very much for granted admiration and homage were to her as her daily bread and that any man should fail to offer them caused her frank amazement it did more it raised in s progress her a longing to inflict pain he might not admire but at least he should not remain therefore she backed a couple of steps so as to get a good view of richard and without any disguise of her purpose took a comprehensive and leisurely survey of his and figure while so doing she pinned on her rose trimmed hat and twisted the long strings of it about her throat you have altered a good deal richard she said probably he answered i had a good deal to learn being a very thin young in part anyhow i have learned it and i do my best practically to apply my knowledge but if i have altered so happily have not you i remain a she inquired her irritation finding voice you cannot very well remain that which you never have been what you do remain is if i may say so yourself by contact with that singularly stupid invention society true to my earliest recollections of you even richard closer to the threw his left arm across it grasping the outer edge of the broad even in small details of dress he looked away over the immense and radiant and then up at the radiant woman in her of pink and gold and so doing for the first time his face relaxed being li up by a mocking smile and something in his shuffling movements in the fine irony of his expression pierced with a sensation hitherto unknown broke up the of her stirred her blood she forgot resentment in an absorbed and absorbing interest the ordinary man of the world she knew as thoroughly as her old shoe such an one presented small field of discovery to her but this man was unique in person and promised to be so in character also her curiosity regarding him was profound for the moment it sunk all personal considerations all humorous or angry criticism either of her own attitude towards him or of his attitude towards her silently she came forward sat down on the marble bench close to where he stood and turning sideways leaned her elbows upon the top of the beside him she looked up now rather than down at him and it went home to her had nature spared him of that hideous what a superb creature physically he would have been i there was a silence sir richard remaining intent quiet apprehension and imagination sensibly upon the stretch at last richard spoke abruptly by the way did you happen to observe the of your room do you like them yes and no she answered they struck me as rather wonderful but liable to induce dreams of and of the and other inconvenient accidents of the deep fortunately i was too tired last night to be in or i might have slept badly you have gathered all the of the ocean and fixed them somehow on those carpets and and strangely walls you saw that how could i fail to see it since you kindly excuse me of being or ever having been a spoke lightly tenderly almost an desire to please had taken her you have employed a certain in the furnishing of that room she continued it lays subtle influences upon one what made you think of it a dream an idea which has stuck by me though all other fond things of the sort we pitched overboard long ago i suppose one is bound to be on one point if only to prove to the of one s logic on all others thus do i otherwise sane and consistent cling to my one dream and ideal take it out it and cherish it with weakly sentimental to do so is ludicrous but then my being here at all calmly considered is ludicrous and it too is among the results of the one idea he paused and leaning beside him waited the sunshine covered them both the sea wind was fresh in their faces while the many voices of came up to them confused continuous with sometimes a call sometimes a of or quick pulse of instruments or o church bells or | 32 |
long drawn of a clearing for sea itself from the universal chorus floated islands of upon the of the bay and the smoke of rolled upward you see and hear and feel all this richard continued presently well when i saw it for the first time i was pretty thoroughly out of conceit with myself and all creation i had been freely in things not usually talked of in polite society and i was sold for i found the enjoyment s progress such things procure is decidedly matters once fully are just as tedious and inadequate as those which supply the most subjects of conversation moreover in the process of i had touched a good deal of pitch and the being still to the fore in me i was sensible of the young man shifted his position slightly resting his chin in the hollow of his hands speaking quietly and indifferently as of some matter foreign to himself and his personal interests i have reason to believe i was as fairly and wretched as it is possible for an intelligent being to be i had convinced myself that human existence human nature was a pit and an uncommonly filthy one at that reaction was inevitable then i understood why men have invented gods to systems of hailed and ridiculous miracles such lies are necessary to certain stages of development simply for the preservation of just as at another stage for its own preservation is necessarily driven to declare their falsehood and so i after the manner of my kind was driven to take refuge in a dream the some form or other alone makes life possible and all this we now look at determined the special nature of my attempt at support and consolation richard paused again contemplating the view all this its splendour its its and its suggestion of danger presented itself to me as the of a personality that has had remarkable influence in the of my life so for had listened intently and silently now she moved a little up her charming figure pulling down the wide brim of her hat to shelter her eyes from the heat and brightness of the sun a woman she asked briefly richard turned to her that same flickering of mockery in his still face oh i you mustn t require too much of me he said remember the was not wholly then yes very much a woman of course how should it be otherwise it gave me great pleasure to look at that which looked like her it gives me pleasure even yet so i wrote and asked de to be kind enough to let me rent the villa you remember it was not particularly well cared for there was an air of fallen sir richard greatness about the poor place inside it was something of a i remember said well i restored and it specially the rooms you now occupy in accordance with what i imagined to be her taste the whole proceeding was not a little feeble minded since the probability of her ever those rooms was more than remote but it amused it me as prayer to their the devout i never stay here for long together if i did the spell might be broken i go away i travel i even experiment in things not usually spoken of but with a cooler judgment and less sensitive conscience than of old i amuse myself after more active and practical fashions in other places here i amuse myself only with my idea the even flow of his speech ceased what do you think of it he demanded almost harshly think it can t last it is too too fantastic i admit that to keep it needs an of precautions for instance i can make no near acquaintance with i cannot permit myself to see the town at close quarters i only look at it from here if i want to go to or from the i do so at night and in a closed carriage i took on de box at the san if any good opera is given i go and hear it otherwise i remain exclusively in the house and garden i am not acquainted with a single soul in the place and the woman exclaimed a singular emotion at once of envy and protest upon her do you treat her with the same cold blooded calculation of the woman i know just as much and just as little as i know of it is conceivable there may be elements in her character as well as quarters of this beautiful city i have avoided knowledge of both you see the whole arrangement is designed not for her benefit but for my own it s an elaborate piece of self seeking on my part but so far it has really worked rather successfully it is preposterous it cannot in the e of things continue successful declared i am not so sure of that he replied calmly even the most preposterous of religious systems proves to have a remarkable power of why not this one in any case neither the success nor he failure depends on me i shall be true on my part the rest depends on her as richard spoke he turned leaning his back against the s progress his face away from the sunlight and the wide view again the extent of his became apparent to madame de has this woman ever been here she asked yes she has been here and then and then cried the young man looked up at her his face keen yet his eyes as windows opening endless of empty space telling nothing she recognised once again that he was very strong she also recognised that notwithstanding his strength he was horribly sad ah then he said the last of the poor little and seemed in danger of going overboard and | 32 |
joining their fellows in the uneasy of the sea but the history of that will keep till a more convenient season cousin you have stood in the mid day sun and i have talked about myself quite long enough however it was only fair to you with the limited resources in the way of society and amusement offered by your present dwelling there are horses and carriages of course give what orders you please only remember both the town and the surrounding country are pretty rough it is not fit for a lady to drive by herself always take your own man or one of mine with you if you go out i hope you won t be quite bored ask for whatever you want you let me dine with you thanks chapter iii de four gowns lay upon the purple embroidered of the bed the after glow of an orange and crimson sunset touched the folds of them ranged upward to the of the ceiling and stained the lofty walls as with the glare of a furnace sea sea died in the heat of it abashed and but so did not madame de white lawn and or her abundant hair which z lie trim of figure and sour of countenance was in the act of dressing these caught the fiery light and held it so that from head to foot appeared as an image of living gold sitting before the toilet table her reflection in the great oval mirror pleased her sir richard which wear that depends upon the length of time madame to stay here the black dress might be worn on several occasions with the the de the yellow but once twice at the they are but wanting in repose they are for frequent repetition z lie s lean fingers twisted puffed pinned the shining hair very i will put on the black dress relieved by madame s of pink yes i will wear the then it will be necessary to the style of madame s there is plenty of time took a hand glass from the table and leaned forward in the low round backed chair faithful copy of a fine classic model she wanted to see the full glory of the after glow upon her upon her neck and bosom thus might glass in hand in her golden chair sit in high heaven smiled at the pretty conceit but the glory was already departing sea sea sad by contrast began to their presence on walls and carpet and the black dress madame to remain then as she spoke the lady s maid laid out the jewels chains each stone set in a rim of tiny rose knots of delicate as she them little flames seemed to dance in their many then the after glow died suddenly the flames ceased to dance white garments turned livid her neck and bosom grey and that somehow was extremely to madame de light the candles she said almost sharply yes i remain do hurry z lie it is impossible to see i darkness hurry do you suppose i want to stay here all night and look you must bring that chain farther forward it is not graceful make it let it follow the line of my hair so that the may fall there in the centre you have it too much to the right the centre the centre i tell you there let the drop just clear my forehead thus the wound the jewels in her mistress hair but madame de remained dissatisfied the day had been one of uncertainty of conflicting emotions and s love of purposes was s progress great confusion in others was highly but in herself no thank you i she hated it it touched her self confidence it the of her self belief and and these once shaken small her in trivial she detected indication of iu luck now z lie s long narrow face divided into two unequal portions by a straight bar of black and her lean hands as reflected in the mirror awoke distrust they appeared to be detached from the woman s dark clothed person the outlines of which were absorbed in the increasing of the room the sallow face moved peered the hands clutched and hovered independent and about s graceful head for pity s sake more candles she repeated you look absolutely in this uncertain light in an instant madame i am compelled first to fix this curl in place she accomplished the operation with most admired deliberation and moved away more than once to observe the effect before finally the hair pin i cannot but regret that madame is unable to wear her hair turned back from the face such an arrangement height and an air of which in madame s case would be not only becoming but advantageous the hand glass down upon the dressing table causing confusion amid silver pots and bottles a jar of a tray of hair pins have i not repeatedly given you orders never to allude to that subject she cried the maid was on her knees calmly collecting the scattered contents of the tray a thousand madame she said with a certain sour impudence still it must ever be a matter of regret to anyone truly madame s style of beauty that she should be rs constrained to wear her hair her forehead modem even upon the most high spirited at that moment madame de was ripe for the commission of had she been as she to be a lady of the roman it would have gone hard with her waiting woman who might have found herself ordered for instant execution or deprived of the organs of speech but latter day sentiment happily forbidding such active expressions of ill feeling on the part of e employer towards the employed was forced to swallow her | 32 |
wrath sir richard reminding herself meanwhile that a confidential servant is either most invaluable of friends or most dangerous of enemies there is no in the relation and z lie as an enemy was not to be thought of she could not reflection t afford to quarrel with z lie the woman knew too much therefore madame de took refuge in lofty abstraction while the tiresome the conflicting inclinations of the past day quick to seize their opportunity as is the habit of such gentry returned upon her with and force she had not seen richard since parting with him at noon the suggestions of his conversation still the alternate resentment at his apparent indifference and attraction of his strong and somewhat mysterious personality still present to her later she had driven out to but neither stone throwing foul and disease stricken beggars the pale plains and of the nor stirring of fires therein resident by a wild eyed lad clothed in and hairy with the help of a and a few local newspapers served to rouse her from inward debate and questioning the comfortable spring carriage might swing and sway over the rough deep roads behind the handsome black long horses the looking coachman might lash stone throwing and them their ancestors and descendants alike to the third and fourth generation in the charles might resort to physical force in the removal of wailing demanding eaten of humanity but still asked herself only should she go should she stay was the game worth the candle was the risk not only of social scandal but of possible worth the projected act of revenge and worth something more than that for revenge it must be owned already took a second place in her calculations worth namely the enjoyment of possible conquest the humiliation of possible defeat and by that strangely strangely inscrutable being her cousin no man had ever impressed her thus and she returned on her thought when first seeing him upon the terrace that morning that she might lose her head laughed a little bitterly she of all women to lose her head to long and to entreat affection and to be faithful heaven help us faithful could it ever come to that like any sentimental like and the thought turned her not a little wicked like s progress herself and then that other woman of whom richard had told her with a cynical ard of her own claims to admiration who on earth could she be she those ladies with whom gossip had coupled richard s name the for instance but surely it was inconceivable that mountain of fat and good nature with the voice of a granted but also with the intellect of a could ever inspire so fantastic and a passion and passing from these less intimate affairs of the heart in which rumour richard with being very much of a her mind travelled back to the young man s projected marriage with lady sometime lady remembering the slow sweet baby face and gentle s eyes as she had seen them that day at luncheon at nearly five years ago she again laughed no very certainly there was no between the glorious and naughty city of and that mild natured well little english girl who was it then who but whoever the fair unknown rival might be hated her as the hours passed regarding her as an enemy a creature to be and swept off the board jealousy pricked her desire of conquest an with richard offered singular unique attractions but the force of such attractions was immensely by the excitement of his affections away from another woman suddenly in the full swing of these meditations as she them for the time z lie s voice claimed her attention i made the inquiries madame commanded well said she was standing clusters of in the bosom of her dress the servants in this house are very reserved they are unwilling to give information regarding their master s habits i could only learn that sir richard the communicating as it does with the garden no doubt it is convenient to a gentleman so afflicted as himself bowed herself together while the black lace and skirt slipped over her head emerging from which temporary she said but do people stay here much does my cousin entertain that is what i told you to find out as i tell madame the servants are difficult of approach they are very discreet they fear their master but they also him charles can obtain little more information than sir richard myself but he that sir richard when at the villa lives in retirement that he is subject to fits of melancholy there will be little diversion for madame it is to be feared but what would you have even though one should be young and rich ce ne strait pen i drew in her breath with a little sigh of content when taking a final look at herself in the oval glass the soft floating the many jewels each with its heart of quick yellow pink light produced a combination at once sombre and vivid it satisfied her sense of artistic fitness decidedly she did well to begin with the black dress since it had in it a quality rather of romance than of meanwhile z lie kneeling straightened out the folds of the long train ah j she exclaimed i had forgotten also to inform madame that m has arrived in charles thinking of nothing less than such an encounter met him this morning on the of the wheeled round violently much to the discomfiture of those carefully adjusted folds intolerable man she cried what on earth is he doing here that charles naturally could not inquire will madame kindly remain tranquil for a moment she has torn a small piece of lace which must | 32 |
be controlled by a pin probably is still en voyage is visiting friends as is madame herself a sudden distrust the black dress was too mature that it constituted an admission of departing youth invaded the reflection in the oval mirror once more caused her discomfort tell charles that i am no longer acquainted with m if he to call he is to be refused set her but whether in anger towards her discarded lover or the black dress she would have found it difficult to declare again uncertainty held her suspicion of circumstance and in a degree of herself the lad s maid just impertinent in manner had risen to her feet there she said it will be secure for to night if madame will exercise a moderate degree of caution and avoid abrupt movements charles says that inquired very after madame he appeared dejected and in weak health he was agitated on meeting charles he trembled a little more and he would have wept it would be well perhaps that madame should give charles her orders regarding herself s progress you should not have made me wear this gown broke out it is it is hideous i want to change it impossible madame is already a little late and there is nothing wrong with the costume madame looks magnificent also her wardrobe is at present limited the evening dresses barely suffice for a stay of a week and it is not possible for me to a new one under ten days thereupon an opening of doors and voice from the announcing dinner is served my lady sir richard is in the and swept forward somewhat stormy and in her dusky garments passing out through the high narrow doorway she turned her head charles under no circumstance none understand am i at home to very good my lady and as he closed the double doors the man servant looked at the lady s maid his tongue in his cheek but on the journey through the noble of rooms s spirits revived somewhat her fair head her warm glancing jewels her graceful and measured movements as given back by many tall renewed her self confidence she too must be fond of her own image by the way that unknown rival to the dream of whose approval richard had consecrated these splendid witness the of looking glasses and then the prospect of this d dinner the interest of her host s powerful and personality provoked her interest to the point not only of remembrance of the ill timed advent of her ex lover but of something as closely akin to self forgetfulness as was possible to her self nature she grew hotly anxious to obtain to charm if it might be to the whole field of richard s attention and imagination a small round table showed as an island of tender light in the of the vast room and richard sitting at it awaiting her coming appeared more nearly related to the richard of and of five years ago than he had done during the interview of the morning in any case she took him more for granted while he if still inscrutable and proved an eminently agreeable companion ready of conversation very much at his ease very much a cultivated man of the world a little excessively so she thought in his of the personal note and this at once sir richard and her to intellectual if this was what he wanted well he should have it if he elected to talk of travel of ancient and alien of modem literature and art she could meet him more than half way her intelligence ran from subject to subject from point to point she struck out daring indulged in ingenious her mind charmed by her own eloquence her body comforted by costly and delicate nor did she fail to listen also knowing how very dear to every man is the sound of his own voice or omit to offer refined flattery of quick agreement and laughter it was late when she rose from the table at last i have had a delightful dinner she said absolutely delightful and now i will no longer on your time or good nature richard you have your own occupations no doubt so with thanks for shelter and generous entertainment we part for to night she held out her hand smiling but with an admirable effect of discretion all all intimacy kept in check by self respect and well bred dignity madame de was enchanted with the reserve of her own let it be understood that she was the least the least the most of guests richard took her outstretched hand for the p with courtesy and a momentary so she fancied contracted his face you are very welcome he said if it is warm let us breakfast in the to morrow twelve does that suit you good night upon the writing table in the found a long and impassioned from paul perusal of it did not minister to peaceful sleep in the small hours she left her bed threw a silk dressing gown about her drew aside the heavy blue purple window curtain and looked out the sky was clear and and its lines of innumerable lights lay outstretched below in the south east between the two a blood red fire marked the summit of while in the dimly seen garden immediately beneath the paved of which showed curiously pale asserting themselves against the darkness of the flower and otherwise impenetrable shadows of the and grove a living creature moved black slow of pace strange of at first took it for some strayed animal it alarmed her exciting her to wildest conjectures as to iti and purpose wandering in the grounds of the villa s progress thus then as it passed beyond the dusky shade of the trees she recognised it richard | 32 |
forward to the wall of the garden leaned his arms on it looking down at the beautiful and vicious city and out into the night de shivered the marble floor striking up chill for all the thickness of the carpet to her bare feet her eyes were hard with excitement and her breath came very quick suddenly yielding to an impulse of superstitious terror she dragged the curtains together shutting out that very pitiful sight and turning fled across the room and buried herself breathless and trembling between the sheets of the soft warm faintly fragrant bed he is horrible she said aloud horrible and it has come to me at last it has come i love i love chapter iv here there my good soul don t x won t restore lady to health or bring sir richard back to england home and duty or be a ha of profit to yourself or any other created being keep your tears for the first funeral for i tell you plainly i shan t be surprised out of seven days sleep if this business a visit to the churchyard before we get to the other side of it john stood with his back to the chapel room fire his shoulders up to his ears his hands forced down into the of his riding breeches without black thorn winter held the land in its cheerless grasp the spring was late night obtained followed by pallid half hearted sunshine in the early mornings too soon by dreary this afternoon exception to the rule only in the additional discomfort of small rain and a harsh of wind in the eastward facing livery weather the doctor called it putting down his existing lapse from philosophic to insufficient of the before him stood sometime s devoted nurse and her eyes very bright and moist the and of her fresh complexion in lamentable i d never have believed it of sir richard she asserted it isn t like him so pretty as he was in all his sir richard little ways and loving to her and behaved to everybody and careful of anybody s feelings more so than you d expect in a young gentleman like him no it isn t like him in my opinion he s been got hold of by some person who s worked on him to keep him away to serve their own ends there i d never have believed it of him that i wouldn t the doctor s massive head sank lower his massive shoulders rose higher his loose lips twisted into a smile lord bless you that s nothing new we none of us ever do believe it of them when the little beggars are in long clothes or first for that matter it s a trick of mother nature s one old lady who cares not a pin for morality but only for increase she knows well enough if we did believe it of them we should clear them off along with the blind and a bucket full of water and to keep them under would make for a mighty of subsequent of the i don t tell me king was not something of a when he got to work on the infant population of one woman wept for each of the little then but his majesty only knows how many women wouldn t have had cause to weep for each one of them later if they d been spared to grow up while speaking dr kept his gaze fixed upon his companion his humour was none of the truly yet he did not let that obscure the main issue he had business with and merely waited till the and of her comely face should have resumed their more normal relations before pursuing it he talked as much to afford her opportunity to overcome her emotion as to give relief to his own though now well on the wrong side of sixty john was hale and vigorous as ever his rough countenance bore even closer resemblance perhaps to that of some stone on cathedral or but his hand was no less skilful his tongue no less ready in of all he his heart no less deeply touched for all his by the pains and sins and grinding of poor humanity than of old that s right now he said as the heaving of s bosom became less pronounced wipe your eyes and keep your nerves steady you ve got a head on your shoulders had well keep it on the right way for m need au the common sense that is in it if we are to pull through do to begin with this give her s progress food every two hours or so her her reason with her cry even after all i give you leave to just a little if that will serve your purpose and not make your hand shake only make her t nourishment if you don t wind up the clock regularly some fine morning find the wheels have run down but her won t have anyone sit up with her very well then sleep next door only go in at twelve and two and again between five and six but she won t have anybody occupy the dressing room it used to be the night nursery you remember sir and not a thing in it has been touched since sir richard moved down to the gun room wing oh fiddle de it s just got to be touched now then i can t be with sentiment when it s ten to one whether i save my patient again sobs rose in s throat the poor woman was hard pressed but that fixed gaze from beneath the shaggy eyebrows was upon her and with quaint she fought down the sobs my lady s as gentle as a lamb | 32 |
she said and i d give the last drop of my blood for her but talk of managing her of making her do anything as well try to manage the wind she s that set in her ways and obstinate if you can t manage her who can mr march shook her head then reluctantly for though honestly ready to lay down her life for her mistress she found it far from easy to invite in respect of her she said miss st s more likely to get round my lady than anyone else well then i ll talk to her where is miss st here dr do you want me had strolled into the room from the her attention arrested by the all too familiar sound since sorrowful often of late had brought him to of the doctor s voice the skirt of the young lady s habit gathered up in her left hand displayed a slightly length of muddy riding boot the said skirt her tan covert coat and felt hat were with wet her garments indeed showed evident traces of hard service and though well cut were far from new or smart they were sad coloured moreover as is the fashion of garments designed for work and this weather stained mud costume taken in connection with her pale sensitive face her gallant bearing and the luminous smile with which she greeted not only dr but sir richard the slightly a picture pensive in tone but very harmonious and of a singularly sincere and quality to all indeed save those troubled by an conscience and fear of detection st s presence brought a sense of security and at this period of her development her remained to her but they were tempered by a wider experience and a larger charity at least in the majority of cases i m in a mess she observed casually so are we answered he had a great liking for this young lady finding in her a certain along with a quickness of practical help but our mess is worse than yours in that it is internal rather than external yours brush off not so eh there you can go i ll talk things over with miss st and she ll talk em over with you later s expression had grown anxious she spoke in a lower tone of voice is lady worse in a sense yes simply because she is no better and she s ill i tell you just as ill as any woman can be who has nothing whatever actually the matter with her except an only son put in i am beginning to suspect that is about the most deadly disease going the only thing to be said in its favour is that it is not john could not quite keep admiration from his eyes or provocation from his tongue he richly enjoyed getting a rise out of miss st i am not so sure of that he said in the case of beautiful women judging by history it has shown a tendency to be in any case recommend all such to spend a few months at then under existing circumstances answered there will be very little fear for them after that they will have received such a warning swallowed such an it is like assisting at the of slow torture it almost gets on one s brain at times why do you stay on then looked down at her muddy boots and then across at the doctor she was slightly the taller of the two for in these days his figure had fallen together and he had taken to stooping her expression had a delightful touch of why does anyone stay by a sinking ship or for s progress a forlorn hope why do you sit up all night with a case of or away the poisonous from a throat as i hear you did only last week i don t know just because if we are made on certain lines we have to i suppose one would be a trifle too much ashamed to be seen in one s own company afterwards if one deserted it really requires less pluck to stick than to nm that s the reason probably but about dear lady the excellent was in tears is there any fresh mischief over and above the only son not at present but it s an open question how soon there may be good day mr march been riding ought to be a bit careful of that chest of yours in this confounded weather lady yes as i was telling miss st her strength is so reduced that may arise any day a chill and her lungs may go a shock and her heart it comes to a mere question of the point of least resistance i won t the continued of any one organ we get changed conditions a let up of some sort the doctor looked up from under his eyebrows first at and then at he spoke bitterly defiant of his inclination towards tenderness she s just worn herself out he said that s the fact in the service of others loving giving attempting the impossible in the way of goodness all round be not righteous over much there s a text to that effect in the mr march isn t there preach a good rattling sermon on it next sunday to lady if you want to keep her here a bit longer nature a granted but nature excess even of virtue and it just as harshly as excess of vice yes i tell you she s worn herself out miss st dropped into a chair and sat bowed together her hands on her knees her feet rather far apart the brim of her hat pulled down in front to let the rain run off partially concealed her face | 32 |
she was not sorry for a movement of courage was upon her evidence of which she preferred to keep to herself march remained silent and this she resented slightly for she badly wanted somebody to say something either or then indignation getting the better alike of and charity she exclaimed it is it ought to be impossible one person should have power to kill another by inches like this with had sauntered into the room behind o sir richard march he too was wet and dirty but such trifles in no wise the completeness of his his long neck directed forward as in polite inquiry he advanced to the little group by the fire and took up his station beside s chair pardon me my dear miss st he asked sweetly but why the allusions to murder what is sir richard s conduct she answered shortly she threw back her head and addressed dr it is so unjust what possible quarrel has he with her after all ah that that lies very deep a thing perhaps only a man or a mother can quite comprehend the doctor answered slowly s straight eyebrows drew together she objected to circumstances in this connection yet as she admitted reason usually all dr s statements she divined moreover that reason just now touched upon matters intimate she therefore from protest or comment but since feminine emotion even in the least weakly of the sex is bound to find an outlet she turned upon poor mr he is your friend she said the rest of us are helpless you ought to take measures you ought to suggest a remedy with all the pleasure in life the young man answered but you may remember that you delivered yourself of precisely the same sentiments a year and a half ago and that fired with the of a obedience i fled over the face of the european continent in hot pursuit of poor dear poor dear ejaculated yes very much poor dear through it all the young man breathless but still obedient i came up with him at what was he doing there put in the doctor mr regarded him not without humour really i am not my friend s keeper though miss st is pleased to make me a handsome present of that office and so well i didn t inquire what he was doing to tell the truth i had not much opportunity for though i found him charming yes charming miss st i also found him wholly regarding family when with a ingenuity upon which i cannot but s progress myself i suggested the of a return to in the way in the world he showed me the door impertinence is not my i am by nature but i give you my word that was a little episode of which i do not tiie repetition growling to himself clasping his hands behind his back john shifted his position then taken with that desire of clergy which would seem to be inherent in members of the faculty he addressed march come now he said your pupil doesn t do you an overwhelming amount of credit it must be admitted still you ought to be able to give an expert s opinion upon the tendencies of his character how much longer do you allow him before he grows tired of filling his belly with the the swine eat god knows not i answered sadly but without i confess to the of despair at times and yet being his mother s son he cannot but tire of it eventually and when he does so the will be final the restoration complete he ll die the death of the righteous oh yes i agree there for there s fine stuff in him never doubt that he ll end well enough only the beginning of that righteous ending if delayed much longer may come a bit too late for the saving of my patient s life and reason do you mean it is as serious as all that asked with sudden anxiety every bit as serious oh you should have let your sister marry him mr then he would have settled down come into line with the average and been delivered from the morbid sense of which had been growing on him it couldn t be helped on the whole he s kept very sane in my opinion from the time he began to mix freely in general society i m not very soft or sickly sentimental at my time of day but i tell you it turns my stomach to think of all he must have gone through poor chap it s a merciless world miss st and no one knows that better than we case hardened old of doctors yes your sister should have married him and we might have been saved all this i doubted the wisdom of the step at the time but i was a fool i see now his mother s instinct was right mr up his small mouth and gently shrugged his shoulders it is a delicate subject on which to offer an opinion he said i it freely in the privacy of my inner conscious j io sir richard ness at the time i assure you if lady had lighted upon the right the right woman perhaps yes but to shore up a twenty foot stone wall with a of straw my dear doctor does that proceeding approve itself to your common sense and as is a of straw to such a wall so was my poor little sister it s hardly flattering to my family pride to admit it but thus indeed was she and no otherwise to whereupon glanced up gratefully at the speaker for even yet her conscience pricked her concerning the part she had played in respect of that broken engagement | 32 |
while john observant of that upward glance was once again struck by her manifest sincerity and the gallant grace of her heightened by those and mud garments and being so struck he was once again tempted by and once again yielded himself to the pleasures of provocation marry him yourself miss st he growled a touch of earnest behind his marry him yourself and so set the rest of us free of the whole i d back you to handle him or any fellow living with mighty great success if you d the mind to for a moment it seemed open to question whether that very fair fish might not make short work of as well as of bait but refusing provocation and this not wholly in mercy to the speaker but because it offered her an opportunity of reading mr a perhaps useful lesson her serious eyes and her upper lip into a delightful smile hopeless dr she answered to begin with he ll never ask me since we like each other very ill and to end with she carefully avoided sight of mr i you see i m not what you call a marrying man chapter v exit camp about twenty minutes later the young lady still and opened the door which leads from the chapel room into lady s bed chamber as she did so a gentle warmth met her along with a sweetness of flowers within the melancholy of the bleak twilight was by s progress the soft brightness of a pink shaded lamp and a fitful flickering of this last playing upon the blue and white dutch of the hearth and chimney space conferred a quaint effect of activity upon the actors in the scenes depicted the visibly flourished his two inch sword above the prostrate form of the elders in pursuit of the while poor little fish in hand clung anxiously to the flying of his long l and all too guardian angel such profane vivacity on the part of persons usually accounted sacred offered marked and almost cynical contrast to the extreme quiet t obtaining the deepened the depth of it for nothing stirred within the length and breadth of the room nor did any smallest sound disturb the prevailing silence at these southward facing no harsh wind the embroidered curtains of the state bed hung in straight folds the many coloured leaves and branches of the trees of the forest of this life were motionless care the crouched forgetful to spring while the was fixed spell bound in ihe midst of its headlong flight a spell seemed indeed to rest on all things which had in it more than the watchful hush of the ordinary sick room it suggested a certain moral attitude a quiet not in merely but promoted upon her circulation quickened by recent exercise her cheeks still from the her still retaining impressions of the stem grandeur of the wide fir woods and grey brown desolation of the this extreme quiet produced an extremely effect passing from the chapel room and the society of her late companions all three persons of distinct individuality all three possessing though from very a definitely masculine outlook on life into this silent bed chamber she seemed to pass with startling from the active to the passive from the to the side of things from the world that to that which merely and waits the present and masculine with its clear practical reason its vigorous purposes was exchanged for a place peopled by memories only wholly to and patient endurance and this fell in extremely ill with s present humour while the somewhat of the small personages pictured upon the chimney space and hearth troubled her imagination in that they added a point of irony to this apparent triumph of the remote over the immediate of tradition over fact sir richard nor as stung by remonstrance she approached lady was this sense of intrusion into an alien region lessened or her appreciation of the difficulties of the mission she had been by doctor priest and amiable young her late companions to fulfil by any means lightened for lay back in the great rose silk and arm chair at right angles to the fireplace motionless not a merely so it seemed to the intruder in that all embracing quiet but the very source and centre of it its and heart the lines of her figure were in a loose gown of dove coloured silk bordered with a of rare white lace covered her hair her eyes were closed the rim of the eye being very evident while her face though smooth and still graciously young was so as to appear almost transparent now as often before it struck that a very exquisite spiritual quality was present in her aspect her whole bearing and expression betraying less the languor and defeat of physical illness than the exhaustion of long sustained moral effort followed by the calm of entire self and of will on the table at her elbow were a bowl of fresh picked and grown tea roses some books of the hour both english and french a miniature of at the age of thirteen the proud little head and its cap of close curls showing up against a background of thick set foliage on the table too lay a well worn bound copy of that of books ever probably conceived by the heart and written by the hand of man thomas k imitation of christ it was open at the chapter which is thus entitled of the zealous of our whole life while close against it was a packet of richard s letters those communications punctual in their weekly arrival which while they relieved her anxiety as to his material well being his mother s heart only less by the little they said than by all they left and | 32 |
looking upon that mother now taking of her surroundings st s young indignation once again hot while since it was the tendency of her mind to run eagerly towards theory to pass from the particular to the general and instinctively to apprehend the relation of the individual to the mass looking thus upon she not only against the doom of this one woman but against that doom of universal womanhood of which she offered s progress just now only too eloquent an example and a burning compassion animated for all feminine as against all masculine creatures for the bitter patience demanded of the passive as against the large latitude permitted the active principle for the perpetual humiliation of the and spiritual under the heavy yoke of the and practical for the brief joy and long of all those who are condemned to obey and to wait merely as against those who are bom to command and to create from a child she had been aware of the element of tragedy inherent in the fact of womanhood it had quickened of sentiment in her at times and pushed her into not a little knight witness the affair of lady s engagement but though more sober in judgment than of old and less ready to set her lance in rest the existence of that tragic element had never disclosed itself more to her than at the present moment nor had the necessity to attempt the of the smart of it called upon her with more urgent voice yet she recognised that such attempt all her all her imaginative sympathy and tact very free criticism of the master of the house of his sins of and commission alike were in the chapel room and in the presence of her late companions the subject unhappily had called for too frequent mention by now for any to be incumbent in the discussion of it but here in the brooding quiet of this bed chamber and in lady s presence all that was changed statements of opinion words of blame were the sinner if spoken of at all must be spoken of with due and respect his ignored the of his conduct gently even eagerly explained away and therefore it came about that this fair champion of womanhood though fired with the zeal of righteous anger had to go very softly and set a watch before her lips but as she paused fearful to break in too abruptly upon lady s repose she began to question fearfully whether speech was in truth still available as a means of communication between herself and the object of her solicitude for lady lay so very still her sweet face showed so transparent against the rose silk muslin covered pillows that the younger woman was shaken by a swift dread that dr s melancholy had already found fulfilment and that the lovely labour wasted body had let the love wasted soul depart cousin dear cousin she called very sir richard gently under her breath and then waited almost sensible to the point of distress alike of the profound quiet which it seemed as an act of to have even to break and of the activity of those little figures so wildly in the chimney space and on the hearth seconds to of duration elapsed before lady gave sign of life at length she moved her hands as though gathering with infinite tenderness some small and helpless creature close and warm against her bosom s vision grew somewhat and misty then with along drawn fluttering sigh looked up at the tall straight figure dick ah youve come in my beloved have you had good sport she said sat down on the end of the sofa bowing her head alas alas it is only me cousin nothing better than me st would that it were better and her voice broke but lady had come into full possession of herself my dear i must have been and my thoughts had wandered far on the backward road as is the foolish habit of thoughts when one grows old and is not altogether well and strong spoke faintly yet with an air of sweetly playful apology one is liable to be confused under such circumstances when one first wakes and you have the smell of the and the freshness of the upon you she paused and then added but indeed the confusion of sleep once past i could hardly have dearer for my eyes first to light on than your very dear self hearing which gracious words indignation in the cause of this woman burning compassion for the wrongs and sorrows of universal womanhood both of which must be denied utterance worked very forcibly in she bent down and taking lady s hand kissed it and as she did this her eyes were those of an ardent yet very lover and so when next she spoke were the tones of her voice but still anxious to repair any defect in her recognition and greeting and still with that same effect of playful self spoke first i had been many things with the help of thomas k here before i became so drowsy the dear man lays his finger upon all the weak places in one s fancied of it is sometimes not quite easy to be s progress altogether grateful to him for instance he has pointed out to me that i grow selfish oh come come answered in loving thomas is acute to the point of lying if he has convinced you of that unhappily no returned i know it i fear without any pointing of thomas s finger but i rather admission of my knowledge well for the very bad reason that i wanted very badly to put off the day of now the holy man has touched my witness and she turned her head against the pillows and looked full at the younger | 32 |
woman while her under lip quivered a little my dear i have come to be very greedy of the comfort of your companionship i have been tempted to consider not your advantage but solely my own the pointing finger of thomas has brought it home to me that and i are feeding upon your generosity of time and to an extent we are devouring the best days of your life and you alike from work and from pleasure it must not be and so my dear i beg you go forth once more to all your many friends and to society you are too young and too gifted to remain here in this back water alongside a like me it is not right you must make for the open stream again and let the free wind and the strong current bear you gladly on your appointed course and my gratitude and my blessing will go with you always but you must delay no longer for me you have done enough for a little space held her friend s hand in silence are are you tired of me then she said ah my dear exclaimed and the exclamation was more somehow than any denial could have been after all went on i really don t see why you re to have a of there s selfishness now if you like to appropriate a virtue en not leaving a rag not the of it for anybody else and then has it never occurred to you that i may be just every bit as greedy of your companionship as you of mine more so i fancy because because bowed her head and kissed the hand she held once again you see i know it sounds as if i was rather a beast perhaps i am but i never cared for anyone really to care i mean till i cared for you i sir richard my dear said again wondering shrinking somewhat at once touched and almost the younger woman s attitude was so far removed from her own experience does it you does it seem to you unnatural asked quickly a little lady answered smiling yet very tenderly all the same it s quite true you opened a door somehow that had always been shut i hardly believed in its existence of course i had read plenty about the affections shall we call them and had heard women and girls and men too for that matter talk about them pretty freely but it bored me a good deal i thought it all rather silly and rather nasty perhaps shook her head it didn t appeal to me in the least but when you opened the door she paused her face very grave yet with a smile on it as she looked away at the little figures upon the hearth oh dear me i own i was ha scared she said it let in such a lot of i but for this speech lady had no immediate answer and so the quiet came back settling down sensibly on the room again even as when at dawn the camp is struck the quiet of the desert comes back and possesses its own again and in obedience to that quiet s hand rested in the hand of her companion while she gazed at the delicate half averted face serious lit up by the eagerness of a vital enthusiasm and having a somewhat sorrowful fund of learning to draw upon in respect of the dangers which all either of character or development inevitably brings along with it she trembled that noble and strong and pure though it was that face and the temperament disclosed by it might work sorrow both to its possessor and to others unless the enthusiasm it should find some issue at once large and simple enough to engage its whole and power of work but abruptly broke up the brooding quiet laughing gently yet with a catch in her throat and when you had let in the light cousin good heavens how thankful i was i had never married picture finding out all that after one had bound after one had given what an awful her tone changed and she the elder woman s hand softly so you see you can t very well order me off the pointing finger of thomas notwithstanding you have taught me only half the lesson as yet said the other s progress half and the which it neither i nor any other woman can teach you you really believe that ah my dear said i do more than believe i know it the younger woman regarded her then she shook her charming head it s no good to arrive at a place before you ve got to it she declared and i very certainly haven t got to the second half of the lesson let alone the yet and then i m so content with the first half that i ve no disposition to hurry no dear cousin i am afraid you must resign yourself to put up with me for a little while longer your foes are of your own household in this dr has just been holding forth to us march and mr and me and swearing me over not only to stay but to you eat and drink and come out of doors and even to go away with me because yes in a sense your thomas is right with his pointing finger though he got a bit good man not being quite up to date and pointed to the wrong place left her sentence she knelt down her tall slender figure more like that of a youth than like that of a maid in her spare mud stained habit and coat she put her hands on lady s laid her | 32 |
head in her lap have you but one blessing oh my more than mother she cried do we count for nothing all the rest of us your household and tenants rich and poor and the faithful and the bland and that queer lump of sagacity and john why will you kill yourself why will you die and leave us all just because one person is perverse that s hardly the way to make us who love you bear with and pity him and welcome him home oh i i know i am treading on dangerous ground and venturing to approach very close but i don t care not a hang we re at the end of our patience we want you and we mean to have you back raised herself knelt bolt upright her hands on the arms of lady s chair her expression full of appeal be kind to us be kind she said we only ask you after all to eat and drink to let take care of you at night and let me do so by day and then when you are stronger you must come away with me up north to you have not i sir richard been there for years and its grey towers are rather splendid overlooking that strong uneasy northern sea it the blood in one and makes that which was hard seem of less moment and mary are there too will be all this summer and you know it refreshed you to see them last year and if we go pretty soon the boys will be at school so they won t tire you with their they re jolly though in my opinion wants he comes the elder brother a lot too much over poor little dick but that s neither here nor there oh it s for you to get out of the into the stream ten times more than for me dearest physician heal but though deeply touched by the loving of the younger s appeal and the of tenderness and watchful care constantly surrounding her which that appeal brought along with it could not rouse herself to any immediate response sternly since the fair july night when richard had left her nearly five years earlier she had herself into resignation and calm in the of such a process there must be loss as well as gain and had in great measure impulse and in personal desire had come near destroying all of emotion she could still give but the power of receiving was in her and she had come to be jealous of the quiet which surrounded her it was her support and solace she asked little more than not to have it broken up she dreaded even affection should that strive to draw her from the way of life the world and its many interests had ceased to be of any moment to her she asked to be left to contemplation of things eternal and to the tragedy of her own heart and so though it was beautiful to know herself to be thus cherished and held in high esteem that beauty came to her as something as sweet words good to hear yet spoken of some person other than herself or of a self she had ceased to be all privilege a corresponding obligation and to the meeting of fresh obligations felt herself not only unequal but and so she smiled now upon st leaning back against the rose silk and muslin covered pillows with a lovely indulgence yet rather hopelessly unmoved and remote ah my dear i am beyond all wish to be healed after the fashion you in your urgent loving kindness would have me she said i look forward to the final healing when my many mistakes and shall be forgiven and the smart of s progress them removed and i am very tired i do not think it can be required of me to go back i know i know replied she rose to her feet and moved across to the fireplace her straight eyebrows drawn together her expression one of perplexity i must seem a brute for trying to drag you back when dr and the other two men asked me to come and reason with you i was on the edge of refusing i hardly had the heart to worry you and yet she added wistfully after all in a way it is just simply your own dear fault for if you will be a sort of little kingdom of heaven to us you see it s inevitable that when you threaten to slip away from us we should play the part of the violent and do our best to take our kingdom by force and keep it in spite of itself you the of the poor little kingdom said its soil has become barren its proud cities are laid waste if s an place believe me dearest child let it be seek your fortune in some kingdom from which the glory has not departed and whose motto is not unfortunately i can t do that the younger woman answered i ve explained why already where my heart is there you see my kingdom is also ah my dear my dear said touched yet somewhat weary and after all it is not wholly for our own we make this fight to keep you miss st s voice sank she spoke slowly and as though with reluctance we do it for the sake of the person you love best in the world i don t say we love him very much but that is beside the mark we owe him a certain duty i because i am living in his house the others because they are his friends when he comes home as come he surely will they all say that even while they blame him would | 32 |
it not be an almost too cruel punishment if he found empty of your presence you would not wish that it s not a question of me of course i don t count but you gone no one not even the old servants i believe would stay blame would be turned into something awkwardly near to hatred lady s serenity did not desert her but a touch of her old of manner was apparent and miss st was very glad anything even anger would be welcome if it dissipated that unnatural calm you forget i think she said he will be faithful sir richard to the very end faithful unto death and so will another friend of happier days poor blind old camp a sudden inspiration came to st you must only count on i am afraid cousin not on camp and to her immense relief she perceived lady s serenity give a little it was as though she came nearer her sweet face was troubled her eyes full of questioning camp grew a little too tired of waiting about three weeks ago you not ask for him didn t i said smitten by self reproach never once and so we did not tell you fearing to distress you miss st came over and sat down on the end of the sofa again she rested her hands on her knees her feet were rather far apart she fixed her eyes upon the small and upon the hearth but it wasn t really so very bad she said and we did all we could to smooth his passage poor dear beast to the place where all good dogs go we had the out from two or three times but there was nothing much he could do and i thought him a bit rough i fancy you see the dog did not like being handled by a stranger and made it rather hot for him once or twice i could not let him be worried poor old man and so march and winter and i took turn and turn about with him where did he die in the gun room on the tiger skin did not look round her voice grew and i sat up with him that last night you and lady exclaimed almost in protest yes of course the men would have been as kind as kind could be only i had a feeling you would be glad to know i was there later when we told you you see s as good as any and i had to have somebody the dog was rather queer i did not quite know how to manage him alone lady put out her hand took it silently and fell to it once more it was a declaration of peace she felt on the part of the obstinate well beloved possibly a declaration of something over and above peace winter saw to our creature comforts the young lady continued oh we weren t starved i promise you and was excellent company s progress she hesitated a moment he told me endless about horses about and and i was greatly flattered at being regarded as sufficiently of the order to hear all that and he told me stories about richard when he was quite a little boy and about his father also had a conviction the tears were running down lady s cheeks but she would not look round she only the hand she held softly and talked on they were fine she said some of those stories i am glad to have heard them they went home to me when all is said and done there is nothing like breeding and pluck and the courtesy which goes along with them but after midnight camp grew very restless he had his blanket in the big you know the one i mean as usual but he wouldn t stay there we had to lift him down you see his were and he couldn t help himself much it was pathetic i can t forget the asking look in his half blind eyes but we couldn t make out what he wanted at last he dragged himself as far as the door and we set it open and watched him poor dear beast he got across the to the bottom of the little staircase the speaker s breath then we made out what it was he wanted to get up here to come to you well i could understand that i i should want just that myself shall want it when it comes to the last he when carried him back into the gun room turned her head and looked lady in the face her own was more than commonly white and very gentle in expression he died in the grey of tne morning with his great head on my lap i fancy it him to have something human and rather pitiful close against him had just come in to see how we were getting on i won t declare he did not say a prayer i think he did but i wasn t quite as steady as i might have been just then she her head looking back at the figures upon the hearth she was satisfied lady s long sustained calm had given way and she wept we buried him in his blanket under the big where the sings at the corner of the close to camp the first and old camp the upper servants came and and from the house stables and and the head lad and some of the a sir richard poor old drove up in his donkey chair from the west lodge was there of course we did all things decently and in order s voice ceased she sat the dear hand she held and smiling to herself notwithstanding a in her throat | 32 |
for she had a comfortable belief the situation was saved then entered prepared to encounter remonstrance bearing a tray it s all right miss st said lady is quite ready for something to eat ive been telling her about camp and sitting upright with great and a certain gentle shame accepted food and drink since you wish it dearest she said and since must not be left alone in a quite empty house our kingdom of heaven stays with us then exclaimed such as it is poor thing it will do its best to stay i thought i had cried my eyes dry forever long ago but it seems not you and camp have broken up the i have not hurt you said in sudden no no you have given me relief i was ceasing to be human the thomas was right i grew very selfish but you re not displeased with me insisted lady s had returned but with a new complexion ah i it is a little soon to ask that she said still i will go north with you a fortnight hence go to and by then perhaps you may be forgiven open the dearest and let in the wind the air of this room is curiously dead give my love to and tell them i will come into the chapel room after dinner to night a my child are you so very glad kiss me god keep you now i will rest chapter vi in which m paul has the bad taste to threaten to upset the apple cart h de rose from her knees and slipped out from imder the greasy and half curtain of the box the atmosphere of that spot had been such as to make her feel faint and dizzy she needed to re s progress cover herself and so she stood for a minute or more in the clear cool brightness of the of the great her highly figure covered by a work of morning sunshine streaming down through the round headed windows of the lofty as the sense of physical discomfort left her she instinctively arranged her veil and adjusted her over the wrists of her long gloves yet notwithstanding this trivial and occupation her countenance retained an expression of devout of the relief of one who has accomplished a serious and somewhat distasteful duty her sensations were agreeable she had rid herself of an oppressive burden she was at peace with herself and with almost all man and yet it must be admitted the measure had been mainly had gone to confession on the present occasion in much the same spirit as an experienced traveller visits his before starting on a protracted journey she regarded it as a disagreeable but against possible accident her had been increased by the fact that there really were some rather matters to be confessed she had even feared a course of penance might have been enforced before the of this certainly would have been the case had she been dealing with that firm and very man of the world the father who acted as her spiritual adviser in paris but here in happily it was the fat sleepy easy going old whose person so strong an of snuff that at the moment of the she had been unable to suppress a asked her but few inconvenient questions pretty fine ladies will get into little difficulties of this nature he had listened to very much the same story not before and took the position almost for granted it was very wicked a deadly sin but the flesh specially such delicately bred delicately fed feminine flesh is weak and the of satan are many is it not an historic fact that our first mother did not escape was s repentance sincere that was the point and of that could honestly assure him there was no smallest doubt indeed at this moment she not only her sin but her co sinner in the and most comprehensive manner return to him sooner the dog return to its she the the shame detestable folly of her late proceedings far too clearly temptation in that direction had ceased to be possible then followed the mysterious and merciful words of sir richard tion and rose from her knees and slipped out from beneath the and greasy curtain a free woman the guilt of her wiped off by those words as with a wet cloth one would wipe writing off a slate leaving the surface of it clean in every part precisely how far she literally believed in the of that most solemn she would not have found it easy to declare with but that appeared to her beside the mark it was really none of her business let her teachers look to all that to her it was sufficient that she could regard it from the practical of an against possible accident the accident of sin proving actually and actually by a deity the accident of the veritable existence of heaven and hell and of holy church having the keys of both these in her keeping the accident more immediately probable and consequently worth guarding against that during hours some night the half forgotten lessons of the school would come back on her and as did sometimes happen would prove too much for her usually victorious audacity but it should be added that another and more creditable instinct did much to dictate madame de action at this juncture as the days went by the attraction exercised over her by richard suffered increase rather than and this attraction affected her morally producing in her of speech even of thought and of self criticism unknown to her heretofore her ultimate purpose might not be virtuous but such is the not to say of the human heart the of that | 32 |
purpose developed in her a surprising sensibility of conscience many in her career hitherto r as entertaining she ceased to view with let alone complacency the remembrance of them made her nervous what if richard came to hear of them the effect might be disastrous not that he was any saint but she perceived that with the fine common to most englishmen he demanded from the women of his family quite other standards of conduct to those which he himself obeyed other women might do as they pleased their from the social code were no concern of his he might indeed be not wholly averse to by such but in respect of the women of his own rank and blood the case was quite otherwise he was capable of disgust and not a little to her own surprise fear of provoking however slightly that disgust had become a power with her never had s progress she felt as she now felt her own sensations at once and astonished her this had ceased to be an adventure dictated by merry undertaken out of lightness of heart inspired by a mischievous desire to see dust whirl and fly or undertaken even out of necessity to support self satisfaction by herself with cynical audacity on the side of the eternal laughter this was serious it was desperate the crisis as she told herself of her life and fate the result was singular never had she been more vividly more alive never had she been more and self and this of sensation served to press home on her the high of against accident of washing clean as far as might be possible the surface of the slate so it followed that now standing in the work of sunshine within the great self awoke in her the lately concluded ceremony some of the details of which had really been most distasteful might or might not be of vital but in any case she had done her part therefore if holy church spoke truly her first innocence was restored the idea with almost childish satisfaction now she could go back to the villa in peace and take what measures she left the sentence unfinished even in thought it is often an error to define let the future and her intentions regarding it remain in the vague she signed to z lie seated on the steps of a side chapel yellow paper covered novel in hand to follow her and after making a before the altar of our lady of the conception gathered up her coloured skirts the yellow were not clean and pursued her way towards the great main door the benevolent priest charmed by her grace of movement watched her from his place in the although another penitent now within the greasy curtain verily the of so a piece of womanhood were easily neither god nor man in such a case would be extreme to mark what was done amiss moreover had she not promised generous gifts alike to church and poor the sin which in an ugly woman is clearly mortal in a pretty one becomes little more than making which reflection a kindly fat chuckle shook his big and crossing himself he turned his attention to the voice murmuring from behind the wooden at his side yet it would appear that abstract justice judged less of the position for passing out on to the about the sir richard base of whose enormous columns half naked beggars clustered exposing and for the dazzling glare of the empty sun behind him came face to face with no less a personage than m paul it was as though had struck her the scene before her eyes then her temper rose as in resentment of insult to avoid all chance of such a meeting she had selected this church in an quarter of the town here at least she had reckoned herself safe from and that precisely in the hour of peace the hour of against accident this accident of all others should befall her was but anger did not lessen her how to inflict the of discomfort upon m with the of risk to herself was the question an interview was inevitable she wanted very certainly to get her claws into him but for safety s sake that should be done not in attack but in defence therefore he should speak first and in his words whatever those words might be she promised herself to discover legitimate cause of offence so leisurely and with studied ignorance of his presence she flung of to right and left and while the chorus of blessing and entreaty was yet loud walked calmly past m down the wide shallow steps from the solid shadow of the to the sun glare of the the young man s countenance went livid do you dare to pretend not to recognise me he literally gasped on the contrary i recognise you perfectly i have written to you repeatedly you have written to me with a ridiculous and odious madame de picked her steps the pavement was the heat great s hands with agitation yet he contrived not only to replace his hat but opened his white umbrella as a precaution against and this diverted even while measures to personal safety were so characteristic of and with what fault i ask you can you reproach me save that of a too absorbing a too generous adoration that fault in itself is very sufficient do you not reckon then in any degree with the crime you are in process of committing have you no sense of s progress gratitude of obligation have you no regret for your own loss in leaving me drew aside to let a herd of pass they one another their inquisitive heads and short tails erect at right angles to the line of their narrow backs they as in mischief their little their | 32 |
little hoofs on the stone and the of them hung in the burning air madame de put her handkerchief up to her face and over the edge of it she contemplated paul every detail of his appearance was not only familiar but associated in her mind with some incident of his and her common past now the said details asserted themselves so it seemed to her with an impertinence of provocation the high skull the smooth thin hair parted in the middle and waved over the ears the slightly raised eyebrows and fatigued red and vain though handsome eyes the straight thin nose and winged open nostrils so perpetually a quiver the soft beard which closely followed the line of the lower jaw and pointed chin the moustache lightly the upper lip while wholly exposing the and rather the long and restless hands the tall slight figure the clothes of a material and pattern fondly supposed by their to present the last word of english fashion in relation to foreign travel the colour of them accurately matched to the pale brown hair and beard so much for the detail of the yoimg man s appearance as a whole that appearance was elegant as only french youth to be elegant refinement enveloped paul refinement over and under as that of a rare forced into by application of some artificial process and au this effective and as long as one should happen to think so when one had ceased so to think had long been familiar to to the point of she turned wicked itself into active how gladly would she have torn this creature limb from limb and flung the lot of it among the refuse of the but from beneath the shade of his umbrella the young man his it is inconceivable that knowing my cruel capacity for suffering you should be indifferent to my present situation he asserted half violently half the whole range of sir richard would fail to offer a case of parallel you whose personality has penetrated the recesses of my being you who are acquainted with the infinite of my mental and a touch will the harmony of that exquisite the of the parts of my being is too entire i exist i receive sensations i suffer i rejoice as a whole and this lays me open to universal to pain now my nerves are shattered intellectual moral physical anguish in every part i rally my self reverence my nobility of soul i make efforts by day i visit spots of natural beauty and objects of art but these refuse to gratify me my thought is too to receive the impress of them is impossible to me feverish agitation my imagination my ideas are fugitive i endure a delirium this by day he extended one hand with a despairing gesture but by night oh i you interrupted spare me the description of your nights the subject is a hardly modest one and then at various times i have already heard so very much about them those nights calmly she resumed her walk the amazing vanity of the young man s speech appeased her in a measure since it fed her contempt let him sink himself beyond all hope of recovery that was best let him go down down in of self conceit when he was low enough then she would kick him i meanwhile her eyes ever greedy of incident and colour the scene immediately submitted to them in the centre of the women and coloured handkerchiefs tied round their dark heads washed with a fine soiled linen and vegetables in an iron for a third of its length before a fountain of and design their voices were alternately shrill and it was perhaps as well not to understand too clearly all which they said on the left came a break in the high painted house fronts off which in places the plaster and from the windows of which miscellaneous of wearing apparel and much needed by means of air and light in the said break was a low wall where coarse plants rooted and of which lay some ragged youths outstretched upon their playing cards the least of the beggars armed with s of copper coin had joined them from beneath the gambling by shouts blows s progress grew fast and furious in the steep on the right a loaded with barrels and upward the wheels of it were solid of wood the great mild eyed oxen strained with slowly swinging heads under the heavy yoke scarlet bands and adorned their broad and wide sweeping black tipped horns and here and there a scarlet drop their where the had pricked them too and upon it all the southern sun looked down and de eyes looked forth one of those quick of the inexhaustible excitement of living came to her she looked at the el ant young man walking beside her measured him she thought of richard self imprisoned in the luxurious villa and of the possibilities of her so far relation to him she glanced down at her own rustling skirts and shod feet travelling over the hot stones then at the noisy then at the women washing with that disregard of food and together in the rusty iron by the fountain the violent the violent lights and shadows the violent of purpose and emotion of rank of health of fortune and misfortune went to her head whatever the risks or dangers that excitement remained inexhaustible nay those very and risks to its perpetual it struck her she had been over scrupulous weakly conscientious in making confession and seeking such timid do not really shape destiny control or determine human fate the shouting fighting youths there with their filthy pack of cards and few in the sunshine were nearer the essential truth they were the profound because the practical philosophers therefore let us be the | 32 |
stake small or great as long as the merest of life or of is left and so when took up his lament again she listened to him for the moment with remarkable lightness of heart i appeal to you in the name of my as yet poems my for which france for which the whole brotherhood of letters so anxiously waits to put a term to this appalling delicious said under her breath your is the natural of my the the of your temperament the too brooding of my sir richard own it lightened the reverence which i experience in the contemplation of my own nature it induced in me the hint of which is necessary to procure action our union was as that of high noon and impenetrable night i anticipated extraordinary consequences marriage of a butterfly and a bat yes the should be surprising uttle animals certainly commented madame de in me you have rendered me impotent that is a crime it is an you my genius then indeed i have reason to congratulate myself on my ingenuity she returned since i succeed in the of the non you who have praised it a thousand times you deny the existence of my genius almost shrieked m he was very much in earnest and in a very sorry case his limbs he appeared on the verge of an to plague him thus was a pretty sport but one safest carried on with closed doors not in so public a spot i do not deny the existence of an save your right to make a scene and render me ridiculous as you repeatedly did at then you must return to me oh la la cried that you should leave me and live in your cousin s house an intolerable insult and where pray would you have me live she retorted her temper rising to the of in the street it appears to me the two are morally madame de drew up rage almost choked her m s words stung the more fiercely because the they contained was not justified by fact they brought home to her her non success in a certain direction they called up visions of that unknown rival to whom ah how she hated the woman richard s affections were as she feared still wholly given that her own relation to him was innocent filled her with humiliation first she turned to who had followed at a discreet distance across the go on she said down the street find a cab a clean one wait in it for me at the bottom of the hill then she turned upon m s progress your mind is so corrupt that you cannot conceive of an honest friendship even between near relations you fill me with i measured the depth of your at that is why i left you i wanted to breathe an atmosphere my cousin is a person of remarkable intellectual powers of and of superior character he has had great troubles he is far from well i am watching over and nursing him the last statement boldly on fiction as she made it madame de moved forward intending to follow the retreating z lie do n the steep narrow street for a minute m paused to recollect his ideas then he went quickly after her stay i you he said yes i own at i lost myself the agitation of composition was too much for me my mind with ideas i became irritable i comprehend i was in fault but it is so easy to and to range i accept your assurances regarding your cousin it is all so simple you shall not return to me you shall continue your admirable work but i will return to you i will join you at the villa my society cannot fail to be of pleasure to your cousin if he is such a person as you describe in a removed from care and i will continue my poem i may even it to your cousin i may make his name immortal if he is a person of taste and he cannot fail to appreciate so magnificent a compliment you will place this before him you will explain to him how necessary to me is your presence he will be glad to co operate in it for me he will understand that in making these i offer him a unique opportunity i behave towards him with signal generosity and if at first the intrusion of a stranger into his household should appear inconvenient let him but pause a little he will find his reward in the development of my genius and in the spectacle of our mutual felicity spoke with great rapidity the street which they had now entered from the far end of the was narrow it was by a string of laden by a stream of foot passengers interruption of his short of raising her voice to screaming pitch was impossible to madame de but when he ceased she addressed him and her lips were drawn away from her pretty teeth oh you unspeakable idiot she said have you no remnant of shame do you mean to imply that sir richard would sir richard have the insolence is so much the victim of prejudice as to object to our intimacy madame de clapped her hands together in a sort of frenzy idiot idiot she repeated i wish i could kill you suddenly m paul had all his wits about him ah he with a short laugh curiously resembling in its malice the of the little i perceive that which the obstacle to our it shall be removed he his hat with studied el ance and turning down a break neck side alley called over his shoulder a madame chapter v ii could not be as among madame de yet on the morning in question she was certainly very late for the | 32 |
twelve o clock breakfast richard awaiting her coming beneath the dome of the airy set in the angle of the wall of the high lying garden had time to become conscious of slight irritation it was not merely that he was impatient of delay but that his nerves were on edge just now trifles had power to his somewhat but when at length emerged from the house irritation was forgotten moving through the vivid lights and shadows of the and grove her appearance had a charm of unwonted simplicity at first sight her graceful person had the effect of being clothed in a religious habit richard s youthful delight in seeing a woman walk beautifully remained to him it received satisfaction now advanced without haste a certain grandeur in her a certain gloom even as one who takes serious counsel of himself indifferent to external things at once actor in and spectator of some drama playing itself out in the theatre of his own soul and this effect of dignity of self recollection was curiously heightened by her dress of a very soft and fine material of white the lines of it at once flowing and while as head gear in place of some startling construction of contemporary she wore after s progress the modest italian fashion a black lace over her bright hair arrived she greeted richard and without apology for delay accepted the contents of the first dish offered to her by the waiting men servants ate as though and putting a force upon herself and that which was unusual with her before drank wine and watching her involuntarily richard s thought travelled back to a certain luncheon party at by the presence of genial puzzle headed lord and members of his numerous family when had swept in even as now had been self absorbed even as now of the drive to all in the sad november afternoon following on that luncheon he also thought of communications made by during that drive and of the long course of event and action directly or indirectly consequent on those he thought of the fog too and almost choking him when in the early morning driven by still virgin in body as in heart he had ridden out into a blank and world hoping the chill of it would the fever in his blood and of the fog again in the afternoon from out which the branches of the great trees like famine stricken arms in tattered seemed to pluck at the carriage as he walked the smoking horses up and down the drive waiting for to him and now somehow that fog seemed to come up between him and the well covered breakfast table between him and the radiant expanse of the capricious half classic half modern city outstretched there breeding in the heat of the sun the chill of the fog struck cold into his giving him the strangest physical sensation richard straightened himself in his chair passed his hands across his eyes impatiently and all the old life of it was a subject of which he forbade himself remembrance he had himself from all that cut himself adrift from it long ago by an act of will he tried to put it out of his mind now but the fog remained an actual of his physical vision all he looked upon it was horribly uncomfortable he wished he was alone then he might have slipped down from his chair and according to his poor capacity of sought relief in movement meanwhile silently mechanically de continued her breakfast and as she so continued in addition to his singular physical sensations of vision and clinging chill he became aware of a growing embarrassment and sir richard between himself and his companion so far his and her intercourse had been easy and spontaneous because superficial since that first interview on the terrace a agreement had existed to avoid the personal note now for cause unknown that intercourse threatened entering upon a new phase it was as though the the which he observed in her and of which he was sensible in himself must of necessity in some some act almost involuntary of self revelation this silence and restraint seemed to richard charged with consequences which in his present condition of he was powerless to prevent and this displeased him mastery of surrounding influences being very dear to him at last coffee having been served the men servants withdrew to the house but the was not thereby lessened sat upright her chin resting upon the back of her left hand her eyes under their drooping looking out with a veiled upon the fair and glittering prospect richard saw her face in the black draped her shoulders and bust with a certain of effect it was evident that by something she had been stirred to the of her vivacity and desire to shine and richard for all his coolness of head and rather cynical maturity of outlook had a restless suspicion of going forth even as on that morning at into a blank and world full of possibility where the safe way was difficult of discovery and where dangers might to his discomfort he spoke a little at random you must forgive me for being such an bad host he said courteously i am not quite the thing this morning somehow i a little go of fever last night my brain is like so much dropped her hand upon the table as though putting a term to an train of thought i have always understood the villa to be remarkably free from she remarked so it is i quite believe that the servants certainly keep well enough but so is not the port turned her head a line was between her arched eyebrows the port she repeated richard swallowed his black coffee perhaps it might steady him and clear his head the | 32 |
his shoulder against one of these grateful for the genial heat since her first and somewhat meeting with him in childhood had never close at hand seen richard sir richard j walk thus far she stared hj that spectacle for the instant of the tall and well gentleman just now sitting at table with her into this shuffling long armed crippled dwarf was at first incredible then then by virtue of its very absorbing and to her appetite as veritable famine might became to her more than ever absurd a waste of her own loveliness of sensation of emotion a sin against those influences working in this generous nature surrounding her and working in her own blood all the primitive instinct of her womanhood called aloud in her that she must wed must wed and the voice of the great painted coming up to her urgent incessant carried the same message as did the radiant sea whose white lips kissed the coast line as though pale and ry with love while the man before her by his very and a certain inevitable in that heightened her passion he was to her of all living men most desirable so that she must win him and hold him must see and know in a few steps light as those of the little rose crowned of long ago she followed him across the shining floor there was a point of north in the wind adding to the firm sunshine as ice to rare wine the scent of and blossom was everywhere the yielded an like sweetness the waters of the fountain set in the central alley southward falling in a rain in her came close and richard turned to her but his eyes no longer questioned hers they were as windows opening on to empty space seeing all yet telling nothing his face had become still again and inscrutable lightened only by that flickering mocking smile it seemed as though the moment were passed and social sense ordinary fashions of intercourse had not only come back but come to stay i think we will omit from our talk in future he said as a subject of conversation i find he with me notwithstanding his felicity of style and his admirable i will give orders which i hope may help to protect you from annoyance in future in this delightful land by wise exercise of just a little and corruption it is still possible to make the unwelcome alien prefer to seek health and entertainment elsewhere now will you like to go back to the house s progress the approach to the from the lower level of the garden was by a carefully slope of roman brick set at regular intervals of about eighteen inches this was crossed on the principle of a gang plank by raised marble without waiting for his cousin s reply richard started slowly down the slope at the best of times this descent for him demanded caution now his vision was again so that he the distance between the two lowest slipped and stumbled forward quick as a cat madame de was behind him her right hand grasping his right elbow her left hand under his left ah don t fall she cried a sudden terror in her voice her muscles hardened like steel it needed all her strength to support him for he was heavy his body as that of one fainting for a moment his head rested against her bosom and her breath came short sighing against his neck and cheek by sheer force of will richard recovered his footing himself from her support shuffling aside from her a thousand thanks he said then he looked full at her and she though she was perceived that the perspective of space on which as windows might his eyes seemed to open was not empty it was peopled crowded even as those steep of by ring misery by humiliation by revolt yes it is rather to be as i am isn t it he said adding hastily yet with a certain courteous dignity i am ashamed to trouble you to ask you of all people to run messages for me but would you go on to the house why may not i help you she interrupted ah he said the answer to that lies away back in the beginning of things even unlucky devils such as myself are not without a certain respect for that which is fitting for and etiquette send one of my men please i shall be very grateful to you thanks d de her passion and therefore more than ever at white heat swept up the paved alley amid the sweet of the garden beneath the rain of the fountain that point of north in the wind with her as in laughing challenge making her the more mad to have her way with richard yet knowing that of the he and she he was the stronger as yet sir richard chapter viii in which de s name t hear sings in at the san on j friday night do you care to go the question though asked casually had to the listener the effect of falling with a splash as of a stone into a well awakening unexpected echoes disturbing rather harshly the constrained silence which had reigned during the earlier part of dinner all the long hot afternoon madame de had been alone richard invisible shut persistently away in those rooms of the into which as yet she had never succeeded in penetrating richard had not proposed to her to do so and it was part of that discretion which she had agreed with herself to practise in her character of guest only to accept invitations never to issue them how her cousin might occupy himself whom even he might receive during the time | 32 |
spent in those rooms she did not know and it was idle to inquire neither of her servants though skilful enough as a rule in the acquisition of information could in this case acquire any and so it came about that during those many still bright hours following on her rather agitated parting with richard at midday while she paced the noble rooms of the first floor once more taking note of their costly and fine pictures meeting her own restless image again and again in their many and later near when she walked the dry brown of the and grove the wildest suspicions of his possible doings assailed her for she was constrained to admit that though she had spent a full week now under his roof it was but the fringe after all of the young man s habits and thought with which she was actually acquainted and this not only desperately her curiosity but the behind which he himself and his doings was as a slight put upon her and consequent source of sharp mortification so she ranged all permitted spaces of the villa and its grounds softly yet watchful fierce as a she her ears strained to hear her eyes to see driven the while by jealousy of that nameless rival to remembrance of whom all the whole place was and by baffled passion as with s progress nor did superstition fail to add its word of ill omen at this juncture a crow long legged heavy of on the clustered of the marble bust of startled her with a long narrow many evil looking crawled horn among the rusty roots across her path a procession priest and with lighted sitting within the glass sided at head and foot of the flower strewn coffin wound slowly along the dusty white road bordered by queer growth of and ragged palm trees far below she crossed herself turning hurriedly away yet for an instant death triumphant hideous inevitable and all the spiritual terror and physical disgust of it grinned at her its face as it seemed close against her own and alongside death by some association of ideas and ugly of she saw the m of m paul as she had seen it this morning he looking back hat in hand while he down the break neck side street with that laugh by the time the dinner hour drew near she foimd her outlook in radical need of and to that end bade z lie dress her in the yellow reserved for some emergency such as the present it was a gown surely to restore self confidence and induce self respect fashioned according to a picturesque century model the full and the long of it this cut low generously displaying her shoulders and swell of her bosom were draped with superb de d and strings of seed pearls all trace of simplicity had very certainly departed was strings of seed pearls twisted in her honey coloured hair a clear red in her cheeks and hard in her eyes bred of eager jealous excitement she had indeed reached a stage of feeling in which the sight of richard the fact of his presence worked upon her to the extent of dangerous emotion and now this statement of his and the question following it caused the of the inward fires her to leap high ah she exclaimed what an age it is since i have heard her sing or thought about her how is her voice lasting richard i really don t know he answered and that is why i am curious to hear her there was literally nothing but a voice in her case no dramatic sense nothing in the way of sir richard intelligence to fall back on on that account it interested me to watch her she and her voice had no essential relation to one another her talent was stuck into her as you might stick a pin into a cushion she produced glorious effects without a notion how she produced them and gave expression and perfectly just expression to emotions she had never dreamed of at the best of times singers are a feeble folk but of all singers i have m she was mentally the very no perhaps she was not very wise put in but quite mildly quite kindly and so if the voice went everything went and that made one reflect agreeably upon the remarkably methods employed by that which we politely call almighty god in his construction of our unhappy selves design there s not a trace of design in the whole show bodies souls gifts just pitched together anyhow the most of human artists would blush to turn out such work richard spoke rapidly he had refused course after course and now the food on his plate remained seen in the soft light of the shaded candles his face had a strange look of distraction upon it as though he too was restless with an intimate deep seated restlessness his skin was less than usual his manner less also and this conferred a certain on him making him seem nearer so thought to the boy she had known at than to the man whom lately she had been so conscious that she failed to know no i hope s voice remains to her he continued her absolute it is disagreeable to think of and much as i relish collecting telling examples of the of the creator she would offer a supreme one i would spare her that poor dear for she was really rather charming to me at one time so it was commonly reported remarked was it richard said though as a rule he had drunk rather freely to night and that with an odd haste of thirst now he touched his champagne to the house steward sometime the under | 32 |
butler that it should be i can t have seen for nearly three years he went on and my last recollections of her are unfortunate s progress she had sent me a box in it was i think for the she was fat then or rather stage furniture leaves something to desire in the way of in the death scene the middle of the bed her swan song ceased abruptly her head and heels were in the air and the very large rest of her upon the floor bed and standing out in a all round it was a sight to sentiment i judged it kinder not to go to supper with her after the performance that night richard paused again drained his glass i beg your pardon he said what nonsense i am talking i think i rather enjoy it madame de answered she looked sideways at the young man from under her delicate eyelids he was perfectly sober of that there was no question yet he was less inaccessible somehow than usual she inclined to experiment only i am sorry for in more ways than one poor wretch but then perhaps i am just a little sorry for all women whom you reject richard the women whom i reject he said harshly yes whom you reject repeated then she busied herself with a small black fig it open the purple and rose and clear living of the flesh and innumerable seeds of it colours rich as those of a sky at sunset and there are so many of those women it seems to me i am coming to have a quite pathetic fellowship for them she buried her white teeth in the softness of the fig not without reason perhaps it is idle to deny that you are a in the art of what have you to say in self defence that talking nonsense appears to be highly and that it is a oppressive evening de smiled upon him glanced quickly over her shoulder to assure herself the servants were no longer present then spoke leaning across the comer of the table towards him while her eyes searched his with a certain daring provocation yes i admit i have finished my fig dinner is over and it is my place to disappear according to custom she laid her rosy finger tips together her elbows resting on the table but i am to disappear i have a number of things to say take that question of going to the opera for instance half will be there and i know more than half and more than half knows me i do not to run into the arms of any of de many relations sir richard they were not kind to me when i was here as a girl and stood very much in need of kindness so the question of going to the san you see requires reflection and then her tone softened to a most gentleness then the evenings are a trifle long when one is alone and has nothing very satisfactory to think about and i have been worried today worried she looked down at her finger tips her expression became almost sombre in any case i shall not plague you very much longer richard she said rather i have determined to remove myself bag and baggage it is best more dignified to do so reluctantly i own that here have i no abiding city i wish i had perhaps but i haven t therefore it is useless and worse than useless to play at having one one must just face the truth she looked full at the young man smiling at him as though somehow him a slight an a neglect and so just because to you it all matters so uncommonly little let us talk rather later this evening she rose i ll go on into the long drawing room she said the windows were still open there when i came in to dinner the room will be pleasantly cool you will come and she moved away quietly thoughtfully opened the high double doors left them open and that without once looking back yet her hearing was strained to catch the smallest sound above that which accompanied her namely the rustling of her dress then a queer shiver ran all down her and she set her teeth for she perceived that halting shuffling footsteps had begun to follow those light and graceful footsteps of her ce finest le pas qui she said to herself i have no fear for the rest yet crossing the near half of the great room she sank down on a sofa thankful there was no farther to go in the last few minutes she had put forth more will power felt more deeply than she had supposed her knees gave under her it was a relief to sit down the many candles in the cut glass hanging from along the centre of the painted ceiling were lighted filling the length and breadth of the room with a bland diffused radiance it touched picture and statue tall mirror rich curtain polished of chair and table gleaming and ivory cabinet it touched de bright head and the strings of pearls twisted in her hair her white neck the swell of her bosom and all that delicate wonder of the lace s progress her it lay on her lap too as she leaned back in the comer of the sofa her hands pressed down on either side her lay there bringing the pattern of her dress into high relief this was a design of leaves flowers and fruit and of trailing a couple of shades lighter than the yellow ground the light took the over and stayed in them the window stood wide open on to the balcony the wrought of which and plunging and sea | 32 |
horse detached itself from the background of the night and in at the window came from the garden below a of falling water the music faint and distant in rising and falling of a marching military band in at it also and rising superior to all these in and purpose came the voice of itself no longer that of a city of toil and commerce but that of a city of pleasure a city of until such time as the dawn should once again break and the sun arise driving back man and beast alike to labour the one from merry the other from sleep and once again but in clearer more urgent accents the voice of the city repeated its message to de calling aloud to her to do even as it was doing namely to wed to wed and hearing it understanding that message for a little space shame took her in face both of its and her own so that she closed her eyes unable for the moment to look at richard as he crossed the great room in that bland and yet generous light but almost immediately his voice cold and measured in tone there close beside her claimed her attention that which you said at dinner rather me then shame or no shame madame de of necessity opened her eyes and so doing it needed all her self control to repress a cry she forced her open hands down very hard on the of the sofa for richard leaned his back against the of the open window and she saw his face and all his poor figure in his left hand hung straight at his side the tips of his fingers only just not touching the floor and again as at midday the spectacle of his worked upon her strangely what of all that which i said at dinner you she asked gently with sudden solicitude you showed me that i have been a host in speaking the young man turned his head and looked at her paused a moment almost startled by her sir richard aspect then he looked down at his own and limbs his expression became very grim he raised his shoulders just i reproach myself with having allowed you to be so alone it must have been dull for you it was a little dull said still gently i ought to have b ed you to ask some of the people you know in to come here it was stupid of me not to of it i need not have seen them neither need they have seen me he looked at her steadily again as though trying to fix her image in his memory yes it was stupid of me he repeated but i have got into bachelor habits that can hardly be helped living alone or on board ship as i do and i have pretty well forgotten how to provide for the entertainment of a guest oh i have had that which i wanted that which i came for answered very had it in part at all events though i could have put up with just a little more of it perhaps i warned you if you remember that opportunities of amusement as that word is generally understood would be limited amusement she exclaimed with an almost tragic of contempt oh yes he said amusement is not to be despised i d give all i am worth half my time to be amused but that again like hospitality is rather a lost art with me you remember i warned you life at the villa in these days was not precisely clapped her hands together ah you are you are cruelly she cried pardon me dear richard but your attitude is enough to a saint and i am no saint as yet i am still human for my own peace of mind human i am only too capable of being grieved hurt but there it is folly to say such things to you you are hopelessly insensible to all that so i take refuge in quoting your own words of this morning against you that no explanation is if the refuses to accept it i am dull no doubt but honestly i fail to see how that remark of mine can be held to apply in the present case it applies quite well declared with spirit her manner softened into a of for s progress once again and so dear richard i am glad that i had determined to leave here to morrow it would have been a little too wretched to arrive at that determination after this conversation you must go alone to hear your old flame sing only if her voice is still as sympathetic as of old if it moves you from your present you may read remembrance of some aspects of my visit into the of it if you like it may occur to you what those aspects really meant smiled upon him leaning a little forward her eyes shone as though looking out through tears it s not exactly flattering to one s vanity to be compelled to to another woman the making of such things clear but it is too evident i waste my time in attempting to make them clear myself no explanation is et shook back her head with an extraordinary charm of half half tearful laughter she was playing a game her whole intelligence bent on the playing of it yet she was touched she was swayed by her very real emotion she spoke from her heart though every word every passing action her ultimate purpose in regard to richard and after all one must retain some remnant of self respect with which to cover the of one s oh yes decidedly s voice had best do the rest i richard had moved from his station | 32 |
in the window he stood at the far end of the sofa resting his hands on the gilded and arm of it now the of his was hidden and his height was greater than that of his companion obliging her to look up at him i give you my word he said i have no notion what you are driving at driving at driving at she cried why the self evident truth that you are forcing me rather to pay the full price of my weakness in coming here in permitting myself the indulgence of seeing you again you told me directly i arrived with rather cynical frankness that i had not changed that is quite true what i was at four years ago what i then felt that i am and that i feel still oh i you have nothing to reproach yourself with in defect of plain speaking or excess of amiable you hit out very straight from the shoulder i directly i arrived you also told me how you had devoted this place with which after all i am not wholly to the to the ideal worship of a woman whom you loved i so sir richard so i have devoted it richard said and yet i was weak enough to remain the young man s face relaxed but its expression remained and why not he asked because in remaining i have laid myself open to to all manner of pains and not easy to be endured to the odious certainty of appearing contemptible in your estimation as well as in my own patted her pretty foot upon the floor in a small frenzy of irritation how can i hope to escape since even the precious being whom you affect to worship you keep sternly at arm s length hat is among the other pleasing things you confided to me immediately on my arrival lest seen at close quarters she should fall below your and so you should suffer ah you are cold blooded whether you judge others by yourself reckoning them equally devoid of natural feeling or whether you find a relish in the friendship and affection so offered you is it offered that comes as news to me he put in ah i but it is and i leave you to picture the pleasing entertainment afforded the in seeing you the offering or worse still take it examine it and throw it aside like a dirty rag in one case you your almost to the point of insult this is very instructive i am learning a whole lot about myself richard said coolly but look madame de cried do you not prefer exposing yourself to the probability of serious illness rather than remain under the same roof with me the one in the face to you the the unspeakable of harbour appear less dangerous than my near neighbourhood you put it more strongly than i should he answered smiling yet from a certain that may very well be true for an instant hesitated her intelligence for all its was strained exactly to the value of his words neither over nor under it and her eyes searched his with a certain boldness and of gaze richard meanwhile folding his arms upon the and gilt frame of the sofa s progress looked back at her smiling still at once and very sadly then swift assurance came to her of the brazen card she had best play but playing it she was constrained to her eyes and set her glance upon the light visited surface of her yellow silken lap i will do my possible to accept your nightly journeys as a compliment in disguise then she said quite softly for truly when i come to think of it were she herself here she the woman you so admire that you take an of pains to avoid having anything on earth to do with her were she herself here you could hardly take more extensive measures to secure yourself against risk of disappointment hardly exercise a greater range of caution perhaps that s just it perhaps you have arrived at it all at last perhaps she is here he said and he turned away himself with one hand against the of the window and out slowly laboriously on to the balcony into the night for a quite perceptible length of time de continued to contemplate the light visited surface of her silken lap she followed the lines of the rich pattern fruit and blossom trailing s feather for by such mechanical employment alone could she keep the of her excitement and of her triumph in check to shout aloud to dance to run wildly to and fro would have been only too possible to her just then all that for which she had had ruled herself had ridden a waiting race had been hers in fact from the first the prize before ever she left the starting post she held this man in the hollow of her hand and tliat by no result of cunning but by right divine of beauty and wit and the manifold of her richly endowed personality and thinking of that she clenched her dainty fists opened them again and again clenched them upon the yielding of the sofa given over to an ecstasy of enjoyment weaving even as with and her the she might slowly she raised her downcast eyes and looked after richard his figure a blackness as of against the elaborate wrought of the balcony and so doing an sensation moved her at once of hungry tenderness and of fear fear of something unknown in a way the like of which she had never experienced before ah i indeed of all her many loves here was the m and climax yet in the midst of her very vital rapture she could still find time for sir richard remembrance of the little | 32 |
shaped upon her temple and for remembrance of who had fixed that upon her and had also more than once her designs this time was not possible she was about to revenge the of that little and all the while the intellectual part of her was agreeably trying to the why and wherefore of richard s late action and and self love was gratified to the highest height of its ambition by the knowledge that not only in his heart had she long reigned but that he had time and wealth and refined ingenuity to the idea of her to her worship to the making of this her former into a temple for her honour a splendid witness to her victorious charm a shrine not to contain the idol of his imagination for a little space she rested in all this the sweetness of it as some of costly sacrifice for whatever her sins and de had the fine as well as the inevitable of the great the artist was at least as present in her as the and it was not therefore until of her present felicity was complete until it had soaked into her so to speak to the extent of a delicious familiarity that she was disposed to seek change of posture or of place then at last softly languidly for indeed she was somewhat spent by the manifold emotions of the day she rose and followed richard into the low lying night her first words were very simple yet to herself charged with far reaching meaning as a little key may give access to a treasure chest containing riches of worth richard is it really true that which you have told me what conceivable object could i have in lying then why have you delayed why wasted the precious days the precious months and years if it comes to that how in honour and decency could i do otherwise circumstances being such as they are i being that which i am the two voices were in notable contrast both were low both were penetrated by feeling but the man s was hoarse and the woman s smooth and soft as milk ah it is the old story she said will you never comprehend that what is to you hateful in yourself may to else be the last word of attraction of even god forbid i should ever comprehend that he answered when i take to in my shame myself upon it s progress my then indeed i become beyond all example the most deplorable moment of my very career will be precisely that in which i cease to look at myself with contempt knelt down resting her beautiful arms upon the dark of the balcony letting her wrists over it into the outer the bland light from the open window dwelt on her kneeling figure and bowed head but it was as well perhaps that the night dropped a veil upon her face and yet so it is she said you may the idea but the fact remains i do not say it would affect all women alike affect those for instance whose conception of love and of the relation between man and woman is dependent upon the slightly improper and very tedious marriage service as by the english church let the conventional be conventional still so much the better if you don t appeal to them meagre timid inadequate respectable a generation of fashion plates with a book of etiquette moral and social stuck inside them to serve for a soul s voice broke in a little of laughter and her hands began unconsciously to open and close open and close weaving in soft outer darkness we may leave them out of the argument but there remain the elect richard among whom i dare count myself and over them never doubt it just that which you hate and which appears at first sight to separate you so cruelly from other men gives you a strange empire you you arrest you satisfy one s imagination as does the spectacle of some great drama you are at once and by this thing to you hateful to me beyond all measure of bondage or freedom inflicted upon or enjoyed by other men and in this just this lies magnificent compensation if you would but see it i have always known that known that if you would put aside your and pride and yield yourself a little it was possible to love you and give you such joy in loving as one could give to no one else on earth her voice yet more she leaned forward pressing her bosom against the rough of the balcony i knew that from the first hour we met in the autumn sunshine upon the green before the white overlooking that noble english view i saw you and so doing i saw mysteries of joy in myself by me before it went very hard with me then richard it has gone very hard with me ever since sir richard madame de words died away in a grave and delicate whisper but she did not turn her head nor did richard speak only close there beside her she heard him breathe panting short and quick even as a dog while a certain seemed to nm along the rough against which she leaned and by these signs judged her speech though had not been wholly in vain from below the fragrance of the garden the of falling water and the urgent voice of the painted pleasure city came up about her night had veiled the face of even as s own yet lines of innumerable lights described the curve of the bay climbed the heights of were doubled in the waters of the harbour spread abroad gaiety in the wide and shone like watchful and eyes from out the darkness of narrow street steep | 32 |
lane and cut throat alley while above all that high uplifted against the of the sky a blood red burned on the summit of the sombre glow of it reflected upon the under side of the masses of downward rolling smoke as upon the belly of some slow crawling monstrous serpent suddenly spoke once and with apparent richard you must have known she could never satisfy you why did you try to marry to escape from whom from me from myself which is much the sam thing as from you i suppose and you could not escape so it seems but but dear richard she said yet with very winning sweetness why after all should you want so desperately to escape richard moved a little farther from her i have already explained that to you to the point of insult so you tell me he said surely it is unnecessary to go over the ground again you carry your to the verge of slight absurdity she answered oh you of altogether too little faith how should you the full of the fruit till you have set your teeth in it better far better be a like me and embrace the idea through the act than refuse the act in dread of the dominion of the idea you put the cart before the with a vengeance there s such a thing s progress as being so reverently minded towards your god that he ceases to be the very least profit or use to you and again she heard that panting breath beside her again laughter up in her fair throat and her hands fell to weaving the soft outer darkness you must perceive that it cannot end here and thus she said presently of course not he answered then after a moment s pause he added coldly enough i foresaw that so i gave orders yesterday that the was not to be laid up but only to coal and provision and undergo some necessary she should be ready for sea by the end of the week turned sideways and the bland light from the room within touched her face now as well as her kneeling figure and then and then she demanded almost violently then i shall go richard replied where i do not yet know but as far anyhow as the coal in the s will drive her distance is more important than locality just now and i leave you here at the villa do not regret that you came i don t he too had turned to the light which revealed his face and aged by stress of emotion revealed too the as of empty space resident in his eyes i shall be glad to remember the place pleases and speaks to you it has been rather a haven of rest to me during these last two years you would have had it at my death in any case you have it a little sooner that s all but held out her arms the villa the villa she cried what do i want with that god in heaven are you utterly devoid of all sensibility all heart or are you afraid afraid even yet oh very chicken lover that behind the beauty of you may find the it is not so it is not so i tell you look at me what would you have more surely for any man my love is good enough and then hurriedly with a rustling of silken skirts hot with anger from head to heel she sprang to her feet across the room one of the men servants advanced the carriage is at the door sir he said and madame de voice broke in with a singular lightness and surely it is rather to go out again to night you told me at dinner you were not that you had had a touch of fever sir richard she held out her hand smiling serenely be advised she said avoid i shall see you before i go to morrow yes an afternoon train i good night we meet at breakfast as usual she stepped in at the window gathered up certain small properties a gold scent bottle one or two books a case as with a view to final packing and departure just as she reached the door she heard richard say send the carriage i shall not want it to night but even so did not turn back on the contrary she ran light of foot as the little of long ago with blush roses in her hat through all the of lofty rooms to her own sea green bed chamber and there sitting down before the toilet table greeted her own radiant image in the glass her lips were very red her eyes shone like pale stars on a night quick quick me z lie put me to bed i am simply of fatigue she said chapter ix concerning that daughter of and whom men call the furniture though otherwise of the customary proportions had all been this had been achieved in some cases by ingenious design in its construction in others by the simple process of cutting down thus table and chair couch and in itself of whatever grace of style dignity of age or of to an equality of degradation in respect of height the effect was of false perspective nor was this effect lessened by the proportions of the room itself in common with all those of the it was low in relation to its length and width while the of its darkly ceiling produced an impression of rather than of space as were all the other lined the walls to within about two feet of the spring of the said made of red and the and of them were carved with in high relief an antique carpet sombre in colouring and of great | 32 |
value covered the greater portion of the pale pink and grey pavement of the floor thick rusty red velvet curtains were drawn s progress over each low square window a fire of logs burned on the open hearth and this notwithstanding e warmth of the outside air did but temper the chill atmosphere of the room and serve to draw a faint from the wood it was here to his library carried downstairs by his men servants as a helpless baby child might be that richard had come when de departed so to her bed chamber and it was here he remained though nearly two hours had elapsed since then finding sleep impossible for the and of rapidly breeding illness were upon him his senses and his will had been in very active conflict desire had licked him as with fiery tongues driving him onward honour self contempt in face of temptation to indulgence an after somewhat which had come to influence his action of late held him back but now here and alone the immediately provoking cause of passion removed reaction against the strain of all that had very sensibly set in he felt strangely astray as though drifting at hazard upon the waters of an mist blinded sea he was conscious of a deep seated regarding some matter which he was alike unable to forget or to define images perplexed his vision thoughts pursued one another as with the hurry of calamity through his mind a apprehension of things developed of the the the of things things unfinished bom out of due time and oppressed his fancy even the events of the last few hours in which he had played so considerable a part took on a shadowy semblance ceased to appeal to him as realities began to themselves in that all apprehension of of that which is wanting ofl so to speak and it was to him as though all natural common sense relations were in as though his own usually precise mental processes were from reason and experience had got out of perspective in short even as this low wide scented library of which the ceiling seemed to approach close to the marble floor and all its its tables and almost chairs had got out of perspective the alternate energy and weakness of fever just as the alternate dry flush and trembling chill of it distressed him he had slipped on a smoking coat but even sir richard the weight of this thin silk garment seemed oppressive although now and again he felt as though around his middle he wore a belt of ice not without considerable exertion he rolled forward a couch wide high backed mounted upon little wheels to the vicinity of the fire he drew himself up on to it and rested among the piled up cushions perhaps if he waited patience sleep might visit him and deliver him from this intolerable confusion of mind deliver him too from that hideous apprehension of universal of purposes of a world peopled by beings as he was himself but after a more subtle and intimate fashion a fashion intellectual or moral rather than merely physical so that they had to him just now an added of lying since to ordinary seeing they appeared whole while whole they truly and actually were not sternly he tried to shake himself free of these morbid fancies to bring his imagination under control and force himself once again to join hands with reality and common sense and to this end he turned his attention to the consideration of practical matters he dwelt on the details of the and of his upon the of the voyage upon which he proposed to start a few days hence he the letters which must be written and the arrangements which must be made with a view to putting his cousin in possession of the villa the rent of which he proposed still to pay to her husband this of rooms he would retain for his own use that was necessary yet why must he retain it he did not propose to return and live here at any future time this episode was or rather had it not simply failed of completion was it not like all the rest off then where came in the obligation to reserve these rooms he could not remember yet he knew that he was compelled to do so because because and once again richard s power of broke down once again his thought him becoming tangled fugitive not to be grasped while like of shrill disturbed in the recesses of some age old by sudden intrusion of voices and of lights half formed visions half formed ideas once again about him in their alike to his senses and his brain he fought with them striving to beat them off in a madness of disgust half by the of their foul and stifling wings then exhausted by the conflict he stumbled and fell s progress while they closed m on him and he losing consciousness slept that lasted in point of fact but for a few minutes yet to richard those minutes were as years as centuries at length still heavy with slumber he was aware of the stealthy turning of a key in a lock little foot falls soft as those of some strong yet dainty crossed the carpet a whisper of silk came along with them like the murmur of the breeze in an oak grove on a clear hot summer noon or the ripple of the sea upon spaces of fine yellow sand and the impression produced upon richard was delicious as of one passing from a close room into the open air confusion and exhaustion left him energy returned the energy of breeding fever merely yet to him it appeared that of refreshment of renewed and health he was conscious too of a will outside himself | 32 |
acting upon his will a will self secure working with triumphant daring toward a single end it certainly was in its present in any case it told and with assurance of completion of yielding himself to it with something of the a man himself to the poison which yet promises relief richard opened his eyes before him stood de in one hand she carried a little lamp in the other her high cloth of gold slippers her feet were bare in the haste of the journey from her bed chamber upstairs through the great rooms and down the marble stairs the fronts of the sea blue sea green dressing gown she wore had flown apart thus not only her delicate night dress but since this last was fine to the point of all the secret loveliness of her body and her limbs her shining hair curled low upon her forehead half concealed her pretty ears and lay upon her shoulders like a little golden cape aiid from out this brightness of her hair the laughter in her throat the small lamp carried high in one hand she looked down at richard i waited till the hours grew old and you did not come to me so i have come to you she said let what will happen to morrow this very certainly shall happen to night that with you and me love shall have his own way speak his own language be worshipped with the rites be found in the ordained by himself and to which all nature is and has been obedient since life on earth first began i set down her lamp let drop her slippers upon the floor sprang across the intervening space fierce yet graceful as o sir richard and beast flung herself down beside upon the couch and him with fingers while her lips fastened on his lips not till the grey of a rain washed windy morning had come and had put off its merry changing from a of to a city of labour and too often of inflicted did de leave the scented library n he fire of logs had burnt itself out upon the hearth and other perhaps had pretty thoroughly burnt themselves out then with the extinguished lamp in one hand and her cloth of gold slippers in the other she had run swiftly up the cold marble stairs through the of lofty rooms her image in the bleak of the wet morning given back by their tall as that of no mortal woman l ut some fear driven hurrying ghost carefully closing door of the bed chamber behind her she threw her and buried herself in the luxurious softness of the in bed and she was only just in time servants began to move to and fro the house was awake chapter x the of desolation sullenly persistently the rain came down in the harbour the wash was just sufficient to make the fruit baskets the vegetables the and thrown out from the heave and sway upon the surface of the water while screaming dropped upon the floating refuse and rising over the black liquid lanes and open spaces between the of the many ships but it was insufficient to lift the tied up to the southern of the she lay there and in somewhat sorry plight under the steady for the moment all the of a smart sea going craft was dead in her and she ashamed through all her eight hundred tons of wood and iron copper brass and steel for she was and was from stem to stem while arrayed in the cast clothes of all europe tattered the human of up the steep narrow the and in over her side dirty job this shan t get her paint clean under a s progress week j the first mate grumbled to his companion the second mate a dark haired dreamy eyed west country lad but just out of his the two officers in dripping stood at the checking the of coal as they came on board just now there was a pause in the black procession as an empty lighter off making room for a full one to come alongside thus rendering conversation possible pity the couldn t have stayed on shore till we were through with it and cleaned up a bit the speaker continued makes the old man no end to have anyone on board when the s like she is i don t blame him she s as neat and pretty as a white in a green pasture when she s away to sea and now poor little soul she s a regular i know i d ave stayed ashore fast enough if i was the the boy said half wistfully that villa of his is like a piece of poetry i keep on over to myself how it looks oh it s not so bad for foreign parts the senior officer replied and you re young yet and soft you ll come off that presently england s best for houses town and and most other things women and fights and even sunshine for when you do get sunshine at home there s no spite in it hi there you he shouted suddenly and leaning out over the hurry em up a bit can t you you don t suppose i mean to stand here till the second of the day of judgment watching your chicken rotten do you start em up again whatever are you waiting for man start em up i say the boy s dreamy eyes full of verse dwelt with a curious indifference upon the broken procession of ascending black figures he had but lately joined and to him both the fine vessel and her owner were invested with a certain romance what was the fancy for calling the the he asked presently wait till you ve had the chance to take | 32 |
a good look at sir richard and you ll answer your question yourself the other man answered then he broke out again into sustained hold up there you little fool of a dancing and don t go dropping good honest steam coal overboard into your confounded local i i don t care to see any of your blamed don t flatter yourself hold up your of a she can t you and walk straight take sir richard him all round sir richard s the best i ever sailed with one of the but the too em along will you em along i say he s one of the few men i ve loved i m not ashamed to say it mr and about the only one i ever remember to have feared in all my life meanwhile if the scene to was cheerless that to offered but small improvement for the of low brooding cloud and falling rain blotted out the s and the di and heights even the down on the shore line comparatively near at hand loomed up but a mass of grey amid the all obtaining the tall coloured many houses the money ships and shops looked and degraded as a s painted face seen by daylight thick arose from the streets lying back on the level and from the crowded shipping of the port these hung in the air about the forest of and the of and the noise of the place was as that of let loose the long drawn chattering rush of the coal pitched from the baskets down the echoing iron shoots the grate and scream of cutting through blocks of stone and marble the grind of heavy wheels upon the broken irregular flags the struggling clatter of hoofs of of savage voices raised in cries and the and roar of machinery the repeated of a great blowing off steam as she took up her berth in the outer harbour the rattle of the chains of a steam when the monster iron arm swung round seeking or its burden and the ran out in harsh anger as it seemed and defiance and through all this as the confused of the ever shifting ever present crowd and the small steady of the rain sordid brutal even the coarse of her trade and her poverty alike disclosed her and her by sunshine had declined from radiant goddess to common it was in this character that richard driving yesterday and for the first time through the streets at noon had been fated to see his so fondly city it was in this character that he apprehended it again to day waiting in his until of the rain and on coming of the friendly dusk should render it not wholly odious to sit out on deck the hours and into even this bright and usually apartment s progress with its shining white walls its dark blue leather and polished mahogany the coal dust penetrated it the edge of uie books neatly ranged on the it the laid out on the square table below it drifted in at the cabin windows along with the of sound and the all of the port this was in itself sufficiently distasteful sufficiently and to richard just now the disgust of it came with the heightened sensibility of physical illness and as accompaniment to an immense private shame and immense a conviction of and a desolation passing speech he looked for comfort for promise of restoration and found none in things material or things intellectual in others or in himself for his mind always prone to apprehend by images rather than by words and to advance by rather than by argument discovered in surrounding aspects and surrounding circumstance a rather apt and illustration of its present state just as this seemingly fair city was on intimate acquaintance repulsive beyond the worst he had ever feared and earnestly refused to know of it so a certain fair woman upon whom since boyhood his best most most unselfish affections had was herself moreover to that proving vile beyond all that rumour heard and passionately denied by him had ever ventured to whisper concerning her nor was the misery of this revelation lessened by the knowledge that his own part in it all had been very base he had before he would sin again probably richard had long ceased to regard these matters from a strictly but this particular was different to any that had gone before or which could come after it for it partook so at least it now appeared to of the nature of since he had against his ideal degrading that to gross uses which he had agreed with himself to hold sacred it and thereby very horribly himself and this disgrace of their relation his own and hers the inherent of it all and its inherent had been forced home on him with a certain violence of just in the common course of daily for among the letters brought to him along with his first breakfast yesterday after that night of secret had been three of serious import one was from lady and that he put aside with a certain anger calling himself unwilling knowing himself unfit to read it another he tore open the handwriting was unknown to him he began it in bewilderment then he understood sir richard it ran you are in process of me but since i have reason to believe that no sufficient opportunity has been afforded you of the of your conduct i rally the of nobility which i discover within me i calm myself i go further i explain living in retirement you may not have learned that i am in i followed your cousin here madame de my connection with her represents the supreme passion of my passionate youth at once a frenzy and an | 32 |
that he had long ceased to accept madame de estimate of her husband with belief but be that as it might whether he were a or merely an average one thing was certain that this man trusted him richard and that he richard had very betrayed that trust he stared at the letter and certain sentences in it seemed to him even as the iron used on a might this was a new shame different to and greater than any his had ever induced in him even as evil done is different to and greater than evil suffered morality may be relative only and conventional honour for all persons of a certain standing and breeding remains absolute and it was precisely of his own honour that he had deprived himself not only in body but in character he was henceforth monstrous for a while richard had remained very still looking at this thing into which he had made himself as though it were external and physically visible to him then suddenly he had reached out his hand for his mother s letter a decision of great moment was impending he would know what she had to say before finally making that decision he wondered bitterly grimly whether her words s progress would plunge him yet deeper in this abyss of self hatred and self contempt my darling she wrote i am foolishly glad to learn that you are back at it gives me comfort to know you are even thus much nearer home and in a country where i too have travelled and of which i retain many dear and delightful recollections you may be surprised perhaps to see the address upon my and may wonder what has made me guilty of my post now since the worst of it is certainly over i may tell you that my health has failed a good deal of late nothing of a really serious nature you need not be alarmed about me but i had got into a rather weak and unworthy state from which it became very desirable i should rouse selfishness is and none the less because it takes the apparently innocent form of sitting in a chair with one s eyes shut however that best of men john brought very influences to bear on me convincing me of sin in the way in the world by means of st and so i picked myself up dear picked the whole of myself up as i hope always saving and excepting my self indulgent and came away here to at first i confess i felt very much like a dog at a fair or the at a feast but they all bore with me in the plenty of their kindness and in the last week i have banished the and trained the scared dog to altogether polite and pretty behaviour till i came back to it i hardly how truly i loved this place how should it be otherwise i met your father first here after his third term at i remember he me i met him again the year before our marriage without vanity i declare that then he me not one little bit these things are very far away but to me though far away they are very vivid and very lovely i see them as you when you were small so often pleaded to see a fairy landscape by looking through the large end of the gold and spy glass upon my all of which may seem to you somewhat childish and trivial but i grow an old woman and have a fancy for toys and tender make believes such as fairy seen through the big end of a spy glass the actual landscape at times is a trifle rain blotted and cloudy and mary are here their two boys are just gone back to school again they are fine courteous fearless little fellows makes rather superb middle aged man he has much of my sir richard your grand ther s and dignity indeed he might prove slightly alarming was one not so perfectly sure of hun dear creature mary remains as of old the most wholesome and of women yes it is good to dwell for a time among one s own people and i cannot but rejoice that my eldest brother has come to an arrangement by which at his death your uncle william will receive a considerable sum of money m of the property this last will go direct to and eventually to his boys if your uncle william had a son the whole matter would be different but i own it would hurt me that in the event of his death there should be no at after these many generations in all probability the place would be sold immediately for it b an open secret that through no fault of his own poor man william is sadly embarrassed in money matters and he has other of a rather terrible nature since they are touched with disgrace but here you will probably detect a point of prejudice so i had best stop i look out upon a grey northern sea where the white horses and fret under a cold grey northern sky the oaks in the park are just with yellow green and there close to my window perched on a a is singing facing the wind like a gentleman you look out upon a purple sea i suppose beneath clear skies and over orange trees and palms i wonder if any brave bird pipes to you as my storm cock to me it brings up one s courage to his song so strong and wild and sweet in the very teeth of the gale too but now you will have had enough of my news and more than enough i write to you more freely you see than for a | 32 |
long time past being myself more free of spirit and therefore i dare add in all and every case my darling god keep you and remember should you weary of wandering that not only the doors of but the doors of my heart stand forever wide open to welcome you home yours always k c reading which gentle yet in a sense daring words richard s shame took on another complexion but one by no means calculated to the burning of it his treachery towards de became almost and of small moment beside his cruelty to this woman his mother for all these years and of set purpose defiant of every better impulse he had hardened his heart against her to differ from her to cherish that which was to her to put aside every tradition in which she had him s progress to love that which she condemned to condemn that which she loved and this if silently still had been the ruling purpose of his action that which had its origin in passionate revolt against his own unhappy had come to be an interest and object in itself in this quarrel with her a quarrel intimate pre to consciousness and to he found the justification of his every lapse his every of conduct and of thought since he could not reach almighty god and strike at the eternal first cause which he held responsible for the wrong done to him he would strike with cold blooded at the woman whom almighty god had permitted to be his instrument in the of that wrong and to where had that sustained purpose of striking led him even so he judged just now to the and desolation of to day following upon the of last night all this richard saw with the alternately groping mental vision and the glaring mental of fever small wonder that looking for comfort for promise of restoration he foimd none in things material in things intellectual in others or in himself he felt beyond hope of but not hardly even only aware of all that which had happened and of his own state for lady s letter was to him little more as yet than a placing of facts to trade upon her magnificent generosity of affection and seek refuge in those outstretched arms now with the mark of the iron so sensibly upon him appeared to him of all contemptible doings the most contemptible obviously it was impossible to go back he must go on rather out of sight out of mind fantastic schemes of disappearing of losing himself far away in remote and nameless places among the coral islands of the pacific or the chill majesty of the seas offered themselves to his imagination the practical difficulties presented by such schemes their did not trouble him he would all connection with that which had been with that which had made for good equally with that which had made for evil by his own voluntary act and choice he would become as a man dead the disgrace of his body the closer and more hideous disgrace of his and soul in legend merely as might some ugly old time fable useful for the of and to that end of self he instantly applied himself with outward calm but with the mental hurry and restless sir richard ness of increasing illness his first duty was to end the whole matter of his relation to of her divinity convicted liar and wanton yet mistress still for him as he feared of mighty so he wrote to her very briefly the note should be given her later in the day in it he stated that he should have left the villa before this announcement reached her left it finally and without remotest prospect of return since he could not doubt that she recognised as he did how impossible it had become that he and she should meet again he added that he would communicate with her shortly as to business arrangements that done he summoned his bidding him pack he would go down to the at once he had received information which made it imperative he should quit immediately to be out of all this rid of it fairly started on the road of of social being of recognised existence him like a madness but even the most human will must bend to of detail and of material fact unexpected had occurred the was not ready for sea neither nor nor sound of certain small to her machinery the captain might his temper and the first mate himself in young cease to dream do their most willing and urgent best nevertheless the morning of next day and even the afternoon of it still found richard seated at the table of the white walled his voyage towards self not yet begun were before him upon which at weary intervals he to trace the course of his coming wanderings but his brain was dull he had no power of thought that same madness of going was upon him with power yet he knew not where he wanted to go hardly why he wanted to go only that a blind of going drove him he was miserably troubled about other matters too about that same brief letter he had written to before leaving the villa he was convinced that he had written such a letter but struggle as he might to remember the contents of it they remained to him a blank he was haunted by the fear that in that letter he had committed some folly had bound himself to some unworthy course of action but what it might be escaped and in escaping tortured him and then this surely was friday and sang at the san to night and surely he had promised to s progress be there and to meet the famous n ma and sup with | 32 |
her after the performance as in former days at he had not always been quite kind to her poor dear fat good natured silly soul he could not fail her now and then he went back to a of the south pacific again only he could not see it plainly but saw instead of it the great of copper plate lying on the broad window seat of the eastern bay of the long gallery at home he was sitting there to watch for the coming back from exercise tom along beside them on his handsome and the long ago boyish desperation of longing for for freedom brought a to his eyes and a lump into his throat and all uie while the coal dust drifted in at each smallest and and the air was with uproar and with the stale heavy of the city and the port and steadily the descending rain upon the overhead at length a stupor took him his head sank upon his arms folded upon those while the noise of all the rude surrounding him transformed itself into that of a great and above this superior to yet nobly supported by it s voice rose in the and passionate phrases of the glorious yes her voice was as good as ever richard drew a long breath of relief here at least was something true to itself and amid so much of change so much of still he raised his head and listened for something must have happened something of serious moment the for some unaccountable reason had suddenly broken down yes it must be the which disaster had overtaken for a voice very certainly continued no not a voice but voices those of the captain and price the first mate and old the loud imperative violently but swept under and at moments by cries and of from hoarse throats and that abruptly silenced richard came back to himself came back to of and fact an infinitely despair seized him for the sound that had reached so sudden a termination was not that of musical instruments but the long drawn chattering rush of the coal pitched from the baskets down the echoing iron shoots the cabin door opened and of s s richard ths r e z i y w f ml s his v r z ic his i have a iv a the c f t richard s t r i r c should ar y person of j v r d be z ke w v v r mr uncertain v v r v ri re c sir the x v x ci j iy he this to her but v c i j th ui h know sir that after v v hi h r announced she should not v i he le about f ve o clock her maid w v a v h ill the iu i r manner was decidedly dis a i further must a least be intimated ix n i h p no address to mr for the v ho cabin sl by was s x a d tb at with none of the calm and discretion by in question a long perspective of s progress deck behind him his shiny from the wet with trim black beard square made bold eyed hot tempered alert humorous typical west as his gentle dreamy cousin the second mate though of a very different type stood captain his easily ruffled temper suffered from the after effects of what is commonly known as a jolly row and his speech was in consequence thereof sorry to disturb you sir richard he said and still more sorry to disappoint you but it can t be helped turned upon him so strangely drawn and haggard a countenance that with repressed an exclamation he looked in quick inquiry at the who so far departed from his usual decorum as to nod his head in assent to the silent questioning what s wrong now richard said why these have knocked off price offered them a higher scale of pay i had him to do so but they won t the rain s washed the heart out of them we ve tried persuasion and we ve tried threats it s no earthly use not a basket more coal will they put on board before five to morrow morning can t we sail with what we have got not enough to carry us to port said what will be the extent of the delay this time richard asked his tone had an edge to it again captain glanced at the with luck we may get off to morrow about midnight he stepped back shook himself like a big dog scattering the water off his in a shower upon the slippery deck then he came inside the cabin and stood near richard his expression was very kindly tender almost you must excuse me sir he said i know it doesn t come within my province to give you advice but you do look pretty ill sir richard s remarking that and you are ill sir you know it and i know it and mr here knows it you ought to see a doctor sir and if you ll pardon plain language this pit of a harbour is no fit place for you to sleep in and poor after an instant of sharp annoyance touched by the man s honest humanity smiled upon him a smile of utter weariness utter perfectly true get me out to sea then i shall be better there than else he said i sir richard whereupon the kindly sailor man turned away swearing gently into his trim black beard but the remained in anxious at heart have you any orders for the carriage sir he asked | 32 |
ia drove me down i told him to wait until i had inquired richard was long in replying his brain was all confused and clouded again while again he heard the voice of the famous yes he said at last tell ia to be here in good time to drive me to the san i have an appointment at the opera to night chapter xi in which goes to the end of the world and looks over the wall the opera box which richard had along with the villa was fifth from the stage on the third tier to the right of the vast horse shoe thus situated it commanded a very comprehensive view of the interior of the house the its somewhat seats rising as on iron as they row by row from the was packed while since the aristocratic world had not yet left town the boxes piled tier above tier without break of or gallery right up to the lofty roof were well filled and it was the effect of these last affected richard oddly as helped by and the first footman who acted as his table steward on board the he made his way slowly down to the chair placed on the left at the front of the box for the accepted aspects and relations of things seen were remote to him he perceived effects shapes associations of colour from their habitual significance it was as though he looked at the written characters of a language unknown to him observing the form of them but no intelligible meaning to that form and so it happened that those many of boxes were to him as the of a gigantic against the of which little figures seen to the waist took the light the neck and arms of some woman the fair colours of her and showed up with s progress for they were all peopled these of the and so it seemed to him with bright indolent full fed down there upon the in the close packed ranks of students of men and women of the middle class attired in walking costume he recognised the working bees of this giant hive by their labour the dainty were actually built up and those were so amply so fed and the working bees there were so many so very many of them what if they became against labour and destroyed the indolent of which he yes he richard was unquestionably and one he leaned back in his chair pulled forward the velvet so as to shut out the view of the house and fixed his eyes upon the heads of the in the the was nearly over the curtain would very soon go up then he observed that still stood near him the man was strangely to day he thought could that be connected in any way with the fact he had had his hair cut for a moment the notion appeared to quite amusing but he kept his amusement as so much else to himself and again the working bees down in the attracted his attention they were angrily displeased with the full fed in the boxes because these last were altogether too social talked too loud and too drowning the softer passages of the those dull coloured insects had expended store of hard earned upon the queer seats they occupied mounted as upon iron they meant to have the whole of that which they had paid for and hear every note if they now upward clung along the edges of those many of boxes punished insolence with it would hardly be unjust but there was still clad in sober garments he belonged to the working bees and richard became aware of a singular and embarrassment in thinking of that if they should swarm those workers he would rather the did not see it somehow he was a good fellow a faithful servant a man of nice feeling and such an incident would place him in an awkward position he ought to be spared that carefully reasoned it all out you need not stay here any longer he said when shall i return sir the curtain went up a roll of drums a chorus of men s voices somewhat in the drinking song sir richard at the end of the performance of course but the hesitated you might require to send some message sir richard stared at the chorus the opera being performed but this once economy prevailed had their stock for discovery of garments not the result showed a fine superiority to details of time and place one spanish a figured in a surprising variety of dress designed and that for a in the opera of di his acquaintance with the of a being of the slightest consequences ensued humorous again experienced great amusement but that message had he really one to send probably he had he could not remember and this annoyed him possibly he might remember later he turned to forgetting his amusement forgetting the too intimate personal revelations of the unhappy yes come back at the end of the second act then he said if the bees it would be over by that time he supposed so s return would not matter much one way or the other a persuasion of something momentous about to be accomplished deepened in him the madness of going which had so pushed him earlier in the day fell dead before it for this of living creatures must be gathered together to witness some event in importance with the greatness of their number he felt sure of that yes before long they would swarm they would swarm again he drew aside the velvet and looked down curiously upon the and its occupants for a new idea had come to him regarding these last they still presented the | 32 |
effect of a throng of busy angry insects but richard knew better he had penetrated their disguise a disguise assumed to their ultimate purpose with the greater certainty he knew them to be human he knew their purpose to be a moral one and looking upon them the spirit which animated them he was taken with a reverence and sympathy for average toiling humanity by him before for he saw that by these the workers the final issues are inevitably decided by these the final verdict is pronounced they may be contemptible but in their intelligence strength they are little short of majestic of art letters practical even religion even in a degree nature herself they are alike and judges it must be s progress sa it always has been so time out of mind in point of fact and then he wondered why they were so patient of why had they not risen long ago and the pretensions of those indolent the of the honey those of whom by birth and wealthy and he was himself so conspicuous an example but then clearer understanding of this whole strange matter came to him they like all else mighty though they are in their intention are obedient to fate they can only act when the time is ripe and then he understood still more clearly their purpose in here whether they were conscious of it or not was they were present to witness and to accomplish an act of justice richard paused a moment struggling with his own thought and then he saw quite plainly that he himself was the object of that act of justice he himself was the centre of that dimly apprehended approaching event his his by means of that punishment was that which had brought this great multitude together here to night he was awed yet with that awe came gratitude an immense sense of relief he need not seek self losing himself among far away or the ice bound regions of the south he could stay here sit quite still even and that was well for he was horribly tired and spent he need only wait when the time was ripe they would do all the rest do it for him by doing it to him how finely simple it all was incidentally he wondered if it would hurt very much not that that mattered for beyond lay peace only he hoped they would get to work pretty soon so that it might be over before the end of the second act when the would come back richard s face had grown very youthful and eager his eyes were bright and still he gazed down at that great company his heart went out to it he loved it loved each and every member of it as he had never conceived of loving heretofore he would hke to have gone down among them and become part of them one with them in purpose a of their strength but that was forbidden they were his yet in that capacity they were not the less but the more they were welcome to exact full justice he longed after them longed after the pain it was their mission to inflict and they were getting ready surely they were getting ready there was a sensible movement among them they turned pale faces away sir richard from the brilliantly lighted stage and towards the great of them they were busy insects again and they angrily they yet even while noted all this greatly moved by it its inner meaning its profound relation to himself and the drama of his own existence he was not wholly of the progress of the opera and the charm of the graceful and music which saluted his ears he was aware of the entrance of the hero of his greeting by his clad followers he felt kindly just off the surface of his emotion so to speak towards this of the young actor s appearance was attractive his voice fresh and sympathetic his bearing modest but the aristocratic occupants of the boxes treated him the famous tenor whose name was on the programme having failed to arrive this local and comparatively artist had been called upon to fill his part therefore the smart world talked more loudly than before while the occupants of the jealous for the reputation of their fellow citizen broke forth into stormy protest and richard could have found it in his heart to protest also for it was a waste of energy this senseless conflict it was unworthy of the dignity of that dull coloured multitude on whom his hopes were so strangely set of the men in whose hands are the final rewards and by whose voice the final judgment is pronounced it pained him to see these ministers of the eternal justice thus led away by trivial and their attention distracted from the main issue for what in god s name did he and his sentimental love amount to this pretty fellow of a player this hero of the modern stage weighed in the he and his whole occupation and calling were lighter surely than vanity itself rightly considered he and his singing were but as a as some glittering trifle of upon the veil still hiding the awful yet countenance of that tremendous and so surely ai event let him sing away then sing in peace for the sound of his singing might help to the weariness of the hours until the supreme hour should strike and the glittering veil be torn asunder and the countenance it covered be at last and wholly revealed reasoning thus richard raised his opera glasses and swept those many of and the aspect of them was to him very sinister for everywhere he seemed to encounter soft faces of hot s progress colour and costly clothing devised to the physical of womanhood | 32 |
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