text
stringlengths 1.96k
5.76k
| author
int64 1
50
|
|---|---|
everywhere beside and behind these he seemed to encounter the faces of men of pleasure for those generously discovered material charms they were veritable chambers of vice those mouthed and therefore very as he reflected he had his place in one of them since he was by the vices active in the of his class oh that the bees would swarm swarm and make short work of it all inflict fulness of punishment and thereby him and set him free in its intensity his longing came near taking the form of articulate prayer and then his thought shifted once more itself curiously to individual objects for his survey of the house had just now brought a box into view situated on the grand tier and almost immediately opposite his own it was occupied by a party of six persons with four of those persons richard was aware he had nothing to do but with the remaining two persons a woman fashioned as it appeared of ivory and gold and a young man standing almost directly behind her he had much everything in fact to do it was incomprehensible to him that he had not observed these two persons sooner since they were as necessary to the accomplishment of that terrible yet beneficent approaching event as he himself was the woman he knew actually and intimately though as yet he could give her no name nor recall in what his knowledge of her consisted the young man he knew and was sensible of regarding him with instinctive since his appearance presented a living and of a figure august and holy long and closely richard studied those two persons studied them forgetful of all else straining his memory to place them and all the while they talked but at last the woman fashioned of ivory and gold ceased talking she folded her arms upon the velvet cushion of the front of the box and gazed right out into the theatre there was a splendid in the pose of her head and in the of her eyelids then she looked up and across straight at richard he saw her drooping eye raised her eyes open wide and remain fixed as in amazement a something alert and very fierce came into her expression she seemed to think carefully for a brief space she threw back her head and he saw laughter her beautiful throat and at that same moment a mighty outburst of applause and of welcome shook the great theatre from floor to ceiling and as it died sir richard away the voice of the famous rich and compelling as of old swelled out and made with passionate sweetness the whole atmosphere and richard hailed that glorious voice not that in itself it moved him greatly but because in it he recognised the beginning of the end it came as to catastrophe which was also salvation very soon the bees would swarm now he rallied his patience he had not much longer to wait meanwhile he looked back at that box on the grand tier striving to the mystery of his knowledge of those two persons he needed glasses no longer his sight had become keen again the two were talking and about him that was somehow evident and as they talked he beheld a being exquisitely formed perfect in every part step forth from between the lips of the woman fashioned of ivory and gold it knelt upon one knee over the heads of the vast dull coloured multitude of workers those witnesses of and in the execution of eternal justice it gazed at him richard and at him alone and its gaze and held him like an embrace it him extending its arms in invitation it was naked and it was black black as the liquid lanes between the of the many ships over which the screaming seeking foul down in harbour and he knew the fair woman it came forth from for de herself in her yellow gown with seed pearls and he knew it for the immortal soul of her and he perceived moreover as it smiled on and beckoned him with gestures that its hands and its lips were bloody since it had broken the hearts of living women and torn and devoured the honour of living men ami still the air was with that glorious voice but the love of which it was the the flight which it had ceased to richard s hearing to bear relation to that which is earthly and of the senses the passion and promise of it were alike turned to nobler and more permanent uses the quick coming of and of reconciliation contained in that supreme event for he knew that in a httle moment must arise and follow the soul which had gone forth from her the soul which in all its admirable perfection of outward form and blackness of intimate lies and lust was close to him though he no longer actually beheld it here beside him laying subtle siege to him even yet where it went there of necessity she who owned it must shortly follow since soul and body cannot remain apart s ss save for the space until death effect their final divorce therefore would come speedily it could not be otherwise so at least he argued and her coming meant the then time being fully ripe the bees would swarm swarm at last labour itself upon hunger upon want upon wealth obscurity upon privilege justice being thus out and he richard and delivered from the disgrace of now so both his spirit and his flesh of this he was so well assured that the felt though unseen presence of that soul to do battle with it he leaned forward once more looking down into the close packed of the great theatre all those brilliant i figures members of | 32 |
i wanted to see it again she paused her speech was low toned soft as milk it was rather dreadful for the place was all in with signs of your hasty departure damp cheerless the rain beating against the windows and i hate rain i found there not you whom i so sorely wanted but something very much else a letter to you from de once more she paused i excuse you of anything worse than in to destroy it misery knows no law and i was miserable i read it richard had listened with the same yet the same absorbed interest with which he had watched her entrance she was a wonderful creature in her in her handling of means to serve her own ends but he could not pay her back in her own coin the time was too short for anything but simple truth he felt strangely tired these became if the bees would swarm only swarm then it would be over and he could sleep he clasped his hands behind his head and looked at madame de her soul on her sir richard its delicate arms were clasped about her neck black against the white of her skin and all those twisted ropes of seed pearls it pressed its breasts against hers it loved her and she it and he understood that in the whole scope of nature there was but it alone it only that she ever had loved or did or could love and understanding this he was filled with a great compassion for her and answering her his expression was gentle and pitiful still he needs must speak the truth perhaps it was as well that you should read s letter he said she turned upon him fiercely and scornfully yet even as she did so her soul fell to to him him with gestures my congratulations to you she exclaimed upon your i i am to gather then that you believe that which my husband himself to tell you under the circumstances it is exceedingly convenient to you to do so no doubt how can i avoid believing it richard asked quite surely we need not waste the little time which remains in argument as to that you must admit that s letter fits in it supplies just the piece of the puzzle which was missing it with all the rest all the rest oh yes it is part of the whole precisely that part both of you and of which i knew and tried so hard not to know from the first but it is worse than useless to practise such the whole and nothing less than the whole is bound to get one in the end it is contrary to the nature of things that any int portion of the whole should submit to permanent denial richard s voice deepened he spoke with a subdued enthusiasm thinking of the dull coloured multitude there in the and the act of justice on the eve by them of accomplishment it seems to me the radical weakness of all human institutions of all systems of thought in exactly that effort to select and reject to one part as against another part and so build not upon the rock of unity and completeness but upon the sand of partiality and division and sooner or later the whole itself and the fine fanciful fabric to ruin just for lack of that which in oar short sighted over we have taken such mighty great pains to miss out this has happened times out of number in respect of and and the constitution of and in that of which promised to stand s firm to all eternity and now now in these last few days since laws which rule the general also the individual life it has happened in respect of you to my seeing and in respect of richard smiled upon her sadly and very sweetly i am sorry he said yes indeed horribly sorry it is a bitter thing to see the last of one s gods go overboard but there is no remedy sorry or not so it is madame de looked at him keenly her attitude was strained her face sombre with thought my god my god she exclaimed that i should sit and listen to all this and yet you were never more attractive there is an unnatural force unnatural beauty about you you are ill richard you look and you speak as a man might who was about to join hands with death but s attention had wandered again he pulled the velvet aside somewhat and gazed down into the crowded house they lingered strangely in the performance of their mission that dull coloured multitude of workers just then came another mighty outburst of applause cries the famous s name called aloud the was as the shout of a victorious army richard hailed it as sign of speedy and sank back into his place oh yes he said and lightly i fancy i am pretty bad i am a bit sick of this continued delay you see i suppose they know their own business best but they do seem most slow in getting under weigh i was ready hours ago however they must be nearly through with now and when once we re fairly into it i shall be all right you mean when the sails madame de asked still she looked at him intently he turned to her smiling and she observed that his eyes had ceased to be as windows opening back empty space they were luminous with a certain gay content yes of course when the sails if you like to put it that way he answered and when will that be the shout of the grew louder in the recall it up to the roof and quivered along the and plaster | 32 |
of the boxes very soon now immediately i think please god he said but why should she make him speak thus foolishly in of a she must read the signs of the approach of that momentous and beneficent event as clearly as he himself was she not equally with himself involved in it was she not sir richard like himself to be and set free by it therefore it came as a painful bewilderment and shock to him when she drew closer to him leaned forward laid her hand lightly upon his richard she said very softly i forgive all i am not satisfied with loving i will come with you i will stay with you i will be faithful to you yes yes even that your loving is unlike any other it is as you yourself are unique i i want more of it but you must know that it is too late to go back on that now he said reasoning with her greatly perplexed and distressed by her determined of to him self evident fact all that side of things for us is over and done with her lips parted in naughty laughter and then not without a shrinking of quick horror richard beheld the soul of her that being of lovely proportions exquisitely formed in every part yet black as the foul liquid lanes between the of the many ships down in harbour step delicately in between those parted lips returning whence it came and beholding this instinctively he raised her hand from where it rested upon his and put it from him put it upon her yellow lap where her soul had so lately let us say no more he entreated lest we both our remaining chance and become involved in hopeless and final condemnation but madame de anger rose to overwhelming height she her hands together ah you despise me she cried but let me assure you that in any case this assumption of virtue becomes you singularly ill it really is a little bit too cheap a work of in the matter of have the courage of your vices be honest you can be so to the point of insult when it serves your purpose own that you are capricious own that you have lighted upon some woman who your appetite more than i do i have been too tender of you too with you i have loved too much and been weakly desirous to please own that you are tired of me that you no longer care for me and he answered sadly enough yes that last is true having seen the whole that has happened which i always dreaded might happen the last of my self made gods has indeed gone overboard i care for you no longer sprang up from her chair ran to the door flung it open the first act of the opera was concluded the curtain had come s progress down the house below and around the corridor without were full of confused noise and movement paul m come here she cried and at once but richard was more than ever tired the strain of waiting had been too prolonged lights figures the crowded the vast of boxes tier above tier swam before his eyes indistinct vague shifting colossal in height giddy in depth the bees were at last upward through seas of mist but he had no longer empire over own attitude and thoughts he had hoped to meet the supreme moment in full consciousness with clear vision and of heart but he was too tired to do so tired in brain and body alike and so it happened that a dogged endurance grew on him simply a setting of the teeth and of himself to suffer silently even all that might be in store for the bees were close upon him now countless in number angry violent but they no longer appeared as insects they were human save for their velvet like eyes and all those eyes were fixed upon him and him alone he was the centre towards which in thought and action all turned nor were the dull coloured occupants of the alone in their attack for those gay coloured the men and women of his own class indolent full fed hung out of the mouths of the above the crimson and gold of the cushions pointing at him claiming and yet him and in the attitude of these the and the aristocratic sections he detected a difference the former to inflict punishment for his selfishness but the latter and at his bodily infirmity his making merry over his limbs and walk and against this background against this all of faces which encircled him two persons and the atmosphere and of them so to speak were clearly defined they were close to him here within the narrow limits of the opera box then a great humiliation overtook richard perceiving that they and not the people the workers august in their power and strength were to be his no no he wasn t worth that and for all his present of sensation a sob rose in his throat madame de in yellow costly lace and seed pearls the young man her companion the young man of the light beard skull vain eyes and mouth the young man of holy and aspect sir richard were good enough instruments for the eternal justice to employ in respect of him richard look m said very quietly this is my cousin of whom i have already spoken to you but i wished to spare him if possible and give him room for self justification so i did not tell you all richard this is my friend m to whom my honour and happiness are not wholly indifferent looked up he did not speak vaguely he prayed it might all soon be | 32 |
over paul looked down he raised his eye glass and bowed himself examining richard s l s and strangely shod feet he broke into a little goat like laugh he observed i was in his house continued i was there having absolute faith in his loyalty she paused a moment he me richard can you deny that m murmured he drew a pair of gloves through his hands holding them by the finger tips the metal buttons of them were large three on each wrist those gloves arrested richard s attention oddly i do not deny it said and having thus outraged he deserted me do you deny that no said again for it was that which she asserted true though penetrated by subtle falsehood impossible as it seemed to him to combat no i do not deny it you hear exclaimed now do what you think fit still drew the gloves through his hands them by the finger tips under other circumstances i might feel myself compelled to do you the honour of sending you a challenge he said but a man of sensibility like myself cannot do such violence to his moral and artistic code as to fight with an outcast of nature an such as yourself the sword and the pistol i necessarily reserve for my equals the person the whose very is an offence to the eye and to every delicacy of sense must be condescended to and if at ally must be without ceremony as one would a dog and with that he richard again and again across the with those metal gloves mad with rage blinded and sick with pain to upon his but was too progress for him he aside with his little laugh and richard fell heavily full length his forehead coming in contact with the lower step of the descent from the back of the box he lay there too weak to raise himself paul bent ni and again examined him curiously he repeated he gave the prostrate body a contemptuous kick dear madame are you sufficiently is it enough he inquired and vaguely as horn some distance richard heard de voice yes it is a little affair of honour which dates from my childhood it has taken many years in i thank you mon a thousand times now let us go quickly it is enough then came darkness silence rest book vi the new heaven and the new earth chapter i in which miss st bears witness to the faith that is in her t t herself of her travelling cap thrust her i hands into the pockets of her and thus a tall solitary figure paced the railway platform in the dusk above the gentle of the western horizon of rose crimson sunset were veiled as they upward by cloud of the texture and of finest and those same found repetition upon the narrow polished surface of the many lines of rails causing them to stand out as though of red hot metal from the grey of the track where it curved away south eastward across the darkening country towards the and from out the of these last quick with the bleak purity of snow came a breathing of evening wind to it brought refreshing emphasis of silence and of from things human and things mechanical it spoke to her of virgin and spaces ignorant of mankind and of obligation to his so many and so needs and there being in herself a kindred defiance of a determination so to speak of physical and she welcomed these of the essential of nature finding in them justification and support of her own mental attitude of the entire wisdom of which she had it must be owned grown slightly suspicious of the new heaven and new earth and this was the more grateful to her not only as contrast to the noise and dust of a and hurriedly undertaken journey but because that same journey had been suddenly and in a sense violently imposed upon one whom she held in highest r ard by another whom she had long since agreed with herself to hold in no sort of regard at all since the highly regarded one set forth she of course set forth likewise and yet in good truth the whole affair rubbed her not a little the wrong way she recognised in it a particularly example of masculine some persons as she reflected are permitted an of elbow room altogether to their deserts be sufficiently selfish sufficiently odious and everybody becomes your humble servant hat in hand that is unfair it is indeed quite to the and in miss st s case was by no means lessened by the fact that compelled her to admit doubt not only as to the of her own but as has already been stated as to the wisdom of her attitude generally she wanted to think and feel one way she was more than half afraid she was much disposed to think and feel quite another way this was worrying and therefore it came about that hailed the present interval of silence and solitude striving to put from her remembrance both the origin and object of her journey while filling her lungs with the snow fed purity of the mountain wind and her spirit to the somewhat serious influences of surrounding nature all too soon the great paris express would thunder into the station the heavy horse box like sleeping car now standing on the would be coupled to the rear of it then the roar and rush would begin again from dark to dawn and on through the long bright hours to dark once more by mountain and stifling and broken and smiling coast line and fertile plain past ry and and and mighty rome herself until the journey was ended and distant reached at last but miss st s | 32 |
yes you do declared at least you certainly will when i explain it to you she paused you see she said it is like this living with and watching cousin i have come to know all that side of things at its very finest forgive me it what may i recall to you the fact of the nursery the young lady s delicate face straightened you know perfectly well what i mean she said that which we all think about so constantly and yet affect to speak the new heaven and new earth of as a joke or a slight love marriage yes lady is a past master in those arts mr replied again the ground was holy he was conscious his pulse quickened the beauty of it all as one sees it in her case breaks one up a little there is no laugh left in one about those things one sees that to her they are of the nature of religion a religion pure and a new way of knowing god and of bringing into line with the truth as it is in him but having once seen that one can decline upon no lower level one grows ambitious one will have it that way or not at all paused again the bleak wind her but she was no longer troubled or chilled by it rather did it brace her to greater of resolve and of speech you are contemptuous of women she said i have betrayed characteristics of the ass other than its patience lamented oh i didn t mean that returned smiling in fashion upon him every man worth the name really feels as you do i imagine i don t blame you possibly i am growing a trifle as to feminine superiority and woman with a capital letter myself i m awfully afraid she is safest for herself and others imder slight restraint in a state of mild she s not quite to be trusted either or at least the majority of her isn t if she got her head i ve a dreadful suspicion she would make a worse of creation generally than you men have made of it already and that s eyes her upper lip and her smile shone out again delightfully that s saying a very great deal you know my spirits rise to giddy heights mr exclaimed i those sentiments but whence oh dear lady this change of front wait a minute we ve not got to the end of my yet the paris train is late there is time and this is all excellent hearing i m not quite so sure of that said for you see just in proportion as i give up the fiction of her superiority and admit that woman already has her political domestic and social deserts i feel a chivalry towards her poor dear thing which i never felt before i even feel a chivalry towards the woman in she claims my pity and my care in a quite new way sir richard so much the better mr observed outwardly inwardly almost ah wait a minute she repeated her tone changed i don t want to spread myself but you know i can meet men pretty well on their own ground i could shoot and fish as well as most of you only that i don t think it right to take life except to provide food or in self defence there s not so much happiness going that one s justified in cutting any of it short even a jack may have his little affairs of the heart and a cock salmon his but i can ride as straight as you can i can break any horse to harness you choose to put me behind i can sail a boat and handle an axe i can turn my hand to most practical things except a needle i own i always have hated a needle worse well worse than the devil and i can and can speak fairly well and manage business affairs and have i not even been known low be it spoken to beat you at lawn and lord at and to overthrow my most father in argument and my sister in our poor dear s broken engagement and the excellent marriage but lady is happy put in hastily positively and with too think of it is also his sense of humour has since his marriage from constant association with good little who was never distinguished for ready perception of a joke he regards those small of himself with complacency which shows his appreciation of comedy must be a bit i wonder if it does miss st observed r permitted himself a sound as nearly approaching a chuckle as was possible to so superior a person a thousand he murmured but really dear lady you are so very much off on the other tack am i miss st said well you see to go back to my demonstration i ve none of the quarrel with your side of things most women have because i m not shut out from it and so i don t envy you i can amuse and interest myself on your lines and therefore i can afford to be very considerate and tender of the woman in me i grow more and more resolved that she shall have the very finest going or that she shall have nothing in respect of all which belongs to her special province in regard to love and marriage in them she shall have what the new heaven and new earth cousin has had and find what cousin has found or all that shall be a shut book to her forever even if discipline and denial make her a little unhappy poor thing that s far better than letting her decline upon | 32 |
the second best s voice was full and sweet she spoke from out the deep places of her thought her whole aspect was instinct with a calm and reasoned enthusiasm and looking upon her it became s turn to find the evening wind somewhat bleak and barren it struck chill and he turned away and moved towards the sunset but the rose crimson had become faint and frail while the cloud had gathered into long lines as of dusky smoke so that the remaining brightness was seen as through prison bars a sadness indeed seemed to hold the west even greater than that which held the east since it was a sadness not of beauty but of beauty dead and this struck home to the young man he did not care to speak miss st walked beside him in silence for a time when at last she spoke it was very gently please don t be angry with me she pleaded i like you so much that that i d give a great deal to be able to think less of my duty to the tiresome woman in me i would give a great deal too he declared regardless of grammar but i m not the only woman in the world dear mr she protested presently but i have no use for any other he returned ah you distress me cried well i don t know that you make me cheerful just then the far away shriek of a and dull thunder of an approaching train mr looked once more towards the western horizon here s the paris express he said we must be off if we mean to get round before our horse box is he jumped down on to the permanent way miss st followed him and the two ran across the many lines of in the direction of the that somewhat childish and proceeding to the restoration of good fellowship great passions are rare mr said laughing a little his circulation was agreeably quickened how sir richard fast this like creature could get over the ground and that gracefully moreover rather in the style of a long youth than in that of a woman rare i know it she answered the words coming short and sharply but i accept the risk a thousand to one the book remains shut forever and i meanwhile am not too proud to pass the time of day with the second best and take refuge in the accumulated patience of innumerable and behind them the express train thundered into the station chapter ii telling how once again looked on her son the received at was sufficiently richard had had a and when at just as the train was starting general entered the occupied by the two ladies there was that in his manner which made miss st lay aside the magazine she was reading and rising silently from her place opposite lady go out on to the narrow passage way of the long sleeping car she was very close to the elder woman in the bonds of a dear and intimate friendship yet hardly close enough so she judged to intrude her presence if evil tidings were to be told a man going into battle might look so she thought as looked now very stem and strained it was more fitting to leave the brother and sister alone together for a little space at the far end of the passage way the servants were comely of face and of person neat notwithstanding the of feminine attire incident to prolonged travel winter the butler clean shaven suggestive of a distinguished in miss st s lady s maid by name a north country woman of person and of bearing loyal of heart the colossal german with his square yellow beard and hair en an air of pervaded the party even the conductor of the wagon a small quick sandy young fellow of uncertain with a gold band round his cap he respected this which could afford to take a the new heaven and new earth private railway carriage half across europe he shared their anxieties and these were evidently great wept the old butler s mouth and his slightly cheeks quivered the door at the extreme end of the car was set wide open e stood upon the little iron balcony smoking his feet were planted far apart yet his tall figure swayed and as the heavy carriage and rattled across the points high walls by the dark of by radiant wealth of and of roses red yellow and white away in the keen sunshine to left and right then clearing the outskirts of the town the train roared southward across the fair italian landscape beneath the blue vault of the fair italian sky and to there was something of in all that fair outward prospect here in italy the ancient gods reigned still surely the gods who are careless of human woe is there bad news winter she asked mr to the general that it would be well her should be prepared for the worst it ll kill my lady for certain sure it will kill her she never could be expected to stand up against that and just as she was getting round from her own illness so nicely too audibly wept her tears so affected the sandy conductor that he retired into his little and made a most among the plates and knives and forks put her hand upon the sobbing woman s shoulder and drew her into the comparative privacy of the adjoining rendered not a little inaccessible by a of travelling bags and hand luggage come sit down she said have your cry out and then pull yourself together remember lady will want just all you can do for her if sir richard if and was aware somehow of a sharp catch in her throat if he does not live and | 32 |
meanwhile now in sober and dignified middle age found himself called upon to repeat that rather sinister experience of his hot and youth and as he put it bitterly act to his own sister for as he approached her leaning back against the piled up cushions in the comer of the railway carriage suddenly sat stretching out her hands in swift fear and entreaty as in the state bedroom at nine and twenty years ago oh she cried tell me what is it nothing final as yet thank god he answered but it s sir richard would be cruel to keep the truth from you and let you yourself up with false hopes he is worse said yes he is worse he is a good deal weaker i m afraid the state of affairs has become very grave evidently they are apprehensive as to what turn the fever may take in the course of the next twelve hours bowed herself together as though smitten by sharp pain then she looked at him hurriedly fresh her you are not trying to soften the blow to me you are not keeping anything back no no no my dear there see read it for yourself i twice so as to have the latest news here s the last reply unfolded the blue paper crossed by white of printed matter and laid it upon her lap and as he did so it struck him his sense of sinister repetition that she had on the same rings and as on that former occasion and that she wore stone grey silk too a long travelling lined and bordered with soft fur it as she moved a of black lace covered her hair framed her sweet face and was tied under her chin and looking upon her in spirit over this beautiful woman who had borne such grievous sorrows and who as he feared had sorrow yet more grievous still to bear for ten to one the boy won t pull through he won t pull through he said to himself poor dear fellow he s nothing left to fall back upon he s lived too hard and then he took himself to task asking himself whether among the pleasures and and of his own career he had been quite faithful to the dead and quite watchful enough over the now dying richard he reproached himself for when death stands at the gate conscience grows very sensitive regarding any real or imagined of duty towards those for whom that dread waits twice read the weighing each word of it then she gave the blue paper back to her brother i will ask you all to let me be alone for a little while dear she said tell tell tell my good i must turn my face to the wall for a time so that when i turn it upon you dear people again it may not be too and bent his head and kissed her hand and the new heaven and new earth went out closing the door behind him while the train roared southward through the afternoon sunshine southward towards and rome and sat quietly amid the noise and violent on rushing movement accounts with her own that she might never see again she herself dying was an idea which had grown not to her during these last sad years but that she should survive only to see dead was a new idea and one which joined hands with despair since it constituted a conclusion big with the anguish of failure to the tragedy of their relation hers and his her whole sense of justice of fitness under it against it she implored a space however brief of reconciliation and before the supreme farewell was said but it had become natural to s mind so self trained in humble obedience to the divine ordering not to stay in the destructive but pass on to the stage she would not indulge herself with rebellion but rather fashion her thought without delay to that which should make for inward peace and so now turning her eyes in thought from the present she went back on the baby love the which notwithstanding the abiding smart of richard s had been so very exquisite to her upon the happier side of all that she had not dared to dwell during this prolonged period of it was too too deep seated in the springs of her physical being to dwell on it and her but now richard the grown man dying she gave herself back to richard the little child it her to do so then he had been wholly hers and he was wholly hers still in respect of that early time the man she had lost so it seemed how far through fault of her own she could not tell and just now she refused to all that upon all which strengthened endurance upon gracious memories could her mind alone be fixed and so as the train roared southward and the sun declined and the swift dusk spread its mantle over the face of the classic landscape a phantom baby on her knee and sat in the window of the chapel room at with the phantom of her boy beside her while she told him old time legends of war and of high endeavour and of gallant adventure watching the light dance in his eyes as her words awoke in him of those masters of noble deeds whose exploits she and in this she found comfort and a calm so that when at length general s sir richard by the faithful who protested that her must and should dine returned to her he found her storm tossed no longer but tranquil in expression and for the comfort of others she had conquered nature by grace conquered in that she had compelled herself to submission if this cup might not pass from | 32 |
her still would she praise almighty god and bless his holy name asking not that her own but his will be done it followed that the evening spent in that strangely noisy onward rushing dwelling place of a railway carriage was not without a certain subdued brightness of intercourse and conversation was neither nor nor even by the small accidents and of travel later while preparations were being made by the servants for the coming night she went out with the two gentlemen and st on to the iron platform at the rear of the swaying car and stood there under the stars the mystery of these last and of the dimly discerned and sleeping offered penetrating contrast to the of the hurrying train with its long line of lighted windows and to the of her own heart the fret of human life is but as a little island in the great ocean of eternal peace so she told herself and then bade that sleepless heart of hers both still its passionate beating and take courage and when at length she was alone and lay down in her narrow berth peace and remained with the care and affection of brother friends and servants were very grateful to her so that she composed herself to rest whether slumber was granted her or not the event was in the hands of god that surely was enough and in the dawn reaching rome the news was so far better that it was not worse richard lived and when some seven hours later the train into station and the house steward the marks of haste and keen anxiety upon him pushed his way up to the carriage door he could report there was this amount of hope even yet that richard still lived though his strength was as that of an infant and whether it would wax or wholly none as yet could say then we are in time lady had asked desiring further assurance i hope so my lady but i would advise your coming as quickly as possible is he conscious the new heaven and new earth he knew captain this morning my lady just before i left the man servant shouldered the crowd aside so as to force a passage for lady her should go up to the villa at once sir he said to general i had better accompany her i will leave to make all arrangements here the carriage is waiting then beside her was aware of the hot glare and hard shadow the grind and clatter the violent colour the vivacity of the streets as with voice and whip sprung the handsome long black horses up the steep ascent this followed by the impression of a cool spacious and lofty interior of mild diffused light of pale marble floors and of rich and distinguished objects of art of the soft green gloom of and the languid of fountains and this last served to mark as with raised finger the hush bland yet very imperative which held all the place after the ceaseless jar and tumult of that many days journey here up at the villa it seemed as though were absurd hot haste of affection a little vulgar a little contemptible all was so composed so very and that so bland so in a way affected st she was taken with dislike of the place finding something on cruelty even in its exalted serenity its inaccessible smile very certainly the ancient gods held court here yet the gods who are careless of human tears heedless of human woe and she looked anxiously at lady penetrated by fear that the latter was about to be exposed to some danger to come into conflict with influences and evil wicked deeds had been committed in this fair place wicked designs nourished and brought to here she was convinced of that was convinced further that those designs had connection with and had been directed against lady the thought of de exquisite and vicious as she now reluctantly admitted her to be was very present to her as far as she knew it was quite a number of years since had set foot in the villa yet it spoke of her spoke of the more dangerous aspects of her nature sighed over her friend had gone very much to the bad she feared and as all this passed rapidly through her mind it provoked all her knight sir richard raising a strongly spirit in her she questioned just how much active care she might take of lady without of over but even while she thus opportunity of action was lost quietly a great simplicity and of purpose in her without word spoken without looking back followed the house steward across the cool spacious hall through a doorway and out of sight and that of purpose so in her outward possessed s being throughout she was as one who walks in sleep pushed by blind impulse she was not conscious of herself not conscious of joy or fear or any emotion she moved forward and without towards the event her senses were confused by this transition to stillness from noise by the of all surrounding objects after the landscape on either hand the swaying train by the bland and tempered light after the harsh of glare and darkness so constantly o to her vision of late she was dazed and faint moreover so that her knees trembled her sensibility her powers of and of sympathy were for the time being the house steward ushered her into a large square room the low darkly painted ceiling of it produced a effect an orderly disorder prevailed and a somewhat mournful of closed green shutters and half drawn curtains the furniture costly in fact but in some cases actually was ranged against the that lined the walls leaving the middle of the room vacant save for a | 32 |
low narrow camp bed the bed stood at right angles to the door by which entered the head of it towards the heavily draped windows the foot towards the inside wall of the room at the bedside a man knelt on one knee and his appearance aroused in a degree s powers of observation he had a short crisp black beard and crisp black hair he was alert and energetic of face and figure a man of dare devil humorous yet kindly eyes he wore a blue suit with brass buttons to it he was in his feet the and turn down collar of his white shirt were lost trembling the support of the habitual taken from her a stranger in a strange land liked the man he appeared so admirable an example of physical health he inspired her with confidence his presence seeming to carry with it assurance of that which is wholesome and sane he glanced at her sharply the new heaven and new earth not without hint of criticism and of command he signed to her to remain silent to stand at the head of the bed and well clear of it out of sight did not resent this she obeyed and standing thus her will to conscious effort she looked steadily for the first time at the bed and that which lay upon it and so doing she could hardly save herself from falling since she saw there precisely that which the shape of the room and the of it along with vacant space and the low camp bed in the centre of that space had foretold notwithstanding her of feeling of sympathy she most assuredly must see all these last four and twenty hours she had herself with the phantom society of the baby child of the eager boy curious of many thing s but here was one different from both these different too from the young man tremendous in and in revolt against the put on him by fate from whom she had parted in such anguish of spirit nearly j ve years back for in good truth she saw now not richard her son her anxious charge whose in that she had brought him into life she held herself to be but richard her husband the desire of her eyes the glory of her youth saw him worn by suffering by growth of beard pallid by mortal weakness the sheet expressing the broad curve of his chest the sheet and light blanket the fact of that hideous he had sustained saw him now as on the night he died captain meanwhile reassured as to the s discretion and applied his mind to his patient see here sir he said yet tenderly we were just getting along first rate with these uncommonly mixed you mustn t cry off again sir richard he slipped his arm under the pillows raising the young man s head and held the cup to his lips my dear good fellow i wish you would let me be murmured faintly he spoke courteously yet there were tears in his voice for very weakness and hearing him it was as though something stirred within which had long been bound by bitterness of heavy frost shook his head very sorry sir richard he replied t let you off i ve got my orders you see the bold and kindly eyes had a certain ef of in them the sick man drank swallowed with o sir richard difficulty yet drank again then he lay back for a while his eyes closed resting and stood at the head of the bed out of sight waiting till her time should come she folded her hands high upon her bosom her thought remained inarticulate yet she began to understand that which she had so sternly to that which she had supposed she had still remained with her once more with a terror of joyful amazement she began to scale the height and sound the depth of human love presently the voice whether that of husband or of son she did not stay to it her very reached her from the bed she fancied it rang a little stronger it is futile and therefore in keeping with the rest to have taken all this trouble about dying only in the end to back oh well sir after all you re not so very far on the return voyage yet put in richard opened his eyes s vision was she could not see very clearly but she fancied he smiled yes with luck i may still give you all the slip he said now a little more sir please yes you can if you try but i tell you i don t care about this business of back i don t want to live very likely not but i m very much mistaken if you want to die like a cat in a cupboard here ashore mend enough to get away on board the to sea be time enough then to argue the question out sir half a mile of blue water under your feet sends up the value of life most considerably as he spoke the sailor looked at his glance caution yet conveyed encouragement here take down the rest of it sir richard he said then i swear i won t plague you any more for a good hour again he raised the sick man and as he did so observed that a purple as of a but newly healed wound ran right across s cheek from below the left eye to the turn of the lower jaw and the sight of it moved her strangely the last of that binding as of frost a swift madness of anger against had inflicted that ugly hurt arose in while her studied resignation her strained of mental attitude went down before a passion of violent and primitive | 32 |
in the first ecstasy of recovered human love deserted and the love a little she now ran back imploring assurance and renewal of that last in all and humility lest deprived of the counsel and sure support of it she should fail to read the present and deal with the future aright if indeed any future still remained for that beloved one other than the yawning void of death and inscrutable silence of the grave the better part of a week passed thus and then one fair morning winter bringing her breakfast to the room of that same sea blue sea green bed chamber sometime by de disclosed a beaming countenance mr wishes me to inform your that sir richard has passed a very good night he has come to himself my lady and has asked for you the butler s hands shook as he set down the tray i hope your will take something to eat before you go downstairs he added mr told sir richard that it was still early and he desired that on no consideration should you be hurried which little word of on s part brought a to s and a soft shining into her sweet eyes so that st into the room just then with her habitual lazy grace stood still a moment in pleased surprise noting the change in her friend s appearance why dear cousin she asked what s happened all s right with the world sir richard t r answered god s in his to da j and with all the world are a little more right with one man in it that is the woman s creed always has been i suppose and i rather hope always win be it is frankly personal and i know possibly it is narrow minded still i doubt if she will readily find another whidi makes for greater happiness or fulness of life you don t agree dearest i know nevertheless pour out my tea for me will you i want to dispose of this necessary evil of breakfast all possible despatch richard has sent for me he has slept and is awake and as miss st served her dear friend she pondered this speech curiously to herself yes i did right though i never liked better than now and never liked any other man as well as i like but that s not i m getting hold of the appearance of the thing but i haven t got hold of the thing itself and so the woman in me must continue to be kept in the back she shall be denied all further development she shall have nothing unless she can have the whole of it and eat cousin s creed from her heart richard did not when lady crossed the room and sat down at the bedside he barely raised his eyelids but he felt out for her hand across the surface of the sheet and she took the proffered hand in both hers and fell to the palm of it with her finger tips and this silent greeting and confiding contact of hand with hand was to her exquisitely healing it gave an assurance of and acknowledged more satisfying and convincing than many eloquent phrases of welcome and so she too remained silent only permitting herself for a little while to look at him lest so doing she should make further demand upon his poor quantity of strength a folding screen in stamped leather of which age had tempered the and gold to a sober harmony of tone had been placed round the head of the bed throwing this last into clear quiet shadow the bed linen was fresh and smooth richard had made a little toilet his silk shirt open at the throat was also fresh and smooth he was clean shaven his hair into that closely fitting bright brown cap of curls perceived that his beauty had begun to return to him though his face was worn and and the long line of that still his cheek his hands were little more than skin and bone indeed he was fragile she feared as any person could be who the new heaven and new earth yet had life in him and she wondered rather fearfully if it was yet possible to build up that life again into any joy of energy and of activity but she put such fears from her as unworthy for were they not together he and she actually and that was sufficient the rest could wait and to day as though encouragement to gracious hopes the usually gloomy and room had taken to itself a quite generous of air and light the heavy curtains were drawn aside the of one of the square windows were thrown widely open the shutters without were partially opened likewise a shaft of strong sunshine in and lay like a bright highway across the rich colours of the carpet the air was hot but and of a and quality it fluttered some loose papers on the writing table near the open window it fluttered the delicate and fine muslin of lady s gown there was a in the touch of it not to her for it seemed to speak of the ever obtaining youth the power of the immense energy resident in nature and the physical domain and there was comfort in that thought she turned her eyes from the bed and its somewhat sorrowful burden the handsome head the broad though shoulders the face and with closed eyelids and lips upon the whiteness of the pillows and fixed them upon that radiant space of outer world visible between the dark of the half open shutters beyond the dazzling black and white of the terrace and they rested on the cool green of the formal garden the dome and slender columns of the set in the angle of the wall and this last | 32 |
reminded her of that other embroidered with industry of innumerable upon the curtains of the state bed at home that set for rest and refreshment in the midst of the tangled ways of the forest of this life where the may breathe in security fearless of care the pursuing which follows all too close behind owing to her position and the sharp drop of the itself the great painted city its fine buildings and crowded shipping was but far away the lofty of itself in upon the of sea and sky and as reasoned if this fair prospect after so many ages of tumultuous history and shock of events after battle famine terror of earthquake and fire by sir richard foul disease could still recover and present such an effect of triumphant such an at once august and charm might not her beloved one lying here broken in health and in spirit likewise regain the glory of his manhood and the delight of it notwithstanding present weakness and mournful yes it would come come right told herself thereby making one of those magnificent acts of which go so far to produce just that which they god could not have created so complex and beautiful a creature and permitted it so to suffer save to the fulfilment of some clear purpose which would very surely be made manifest at last god almighty should be justified of his strange and she of her love before the whole of the story was told and stirred by these thoughts and by the of her own pious confidence s finger tips travelled more rapidly over the palm of that outstretched and passive hand then on a sudden she became aware that richard was looking at her she turned her head proudly the exaltation of a living faith very present in her smile you are the same he said slowly his voice was low and singularly devoid of emotion the same you are just as lovely you still have your pretty colour you are hardly a day older he paused still regarding her i m glad you have got on one of those white things you used to wear i always liked them could not speak just then this sudden and complete intimacy her it was so long since anyone had spoken to her thus it was very dear to her yet the voice gave a strange to the tender words it s a matter for that you are the same richard went on since everything else it appears is destined to continue the same one should have one thing it is agreeable to contemplate in that connection considering the vast number of things altogether the reverse of agreeable and which one fondly hoped one was rid of forever which intrude themselves he shifted himself feebly on the pillows and the of a smile crossed his face poor dear mother he said you see again without delay the old bad habit of grumbling on on my best beloved murmured while her finger tips travelled softly over his palm verily and indeed you are the same richard rejoined the new heaven and new earth once more he lay looking full at her until she became almost abashed by that scrutiny it came over her that the plane of their relation had changed richard was as never heretofore her equal a man grown suddenly he spoke can you forgive me and so far had s thought from the past so absorbed was it in the present that she answered surprised my dearest forgive what injustice ingratitude desertion richard said neglect cruelty there is plenty to swell the list all i boasted i would do i have done and more his voice until now so even and faltered a little i have against heaven and before thee and am no more worthy to be called thy son s hand closed down on his firmly all that as far as i am concerned is as though it was not and never had been she answered so much for judgment on earth dearest while in heaven thank god we know there is more joy over the one sinner who than over the nine just persons who need no repentance and you really believe that richard said speaking half half as if to a child assuredly i believe it but supposing the sinner is not but merely richard straightened his head on the pillows and closed his eyes you gave me leave to well then i am so horribly disappointed here have life and death been sitting on either side of me for the past month and throwing with for me i saw them as plainly as i can see you the queer thing was they were exactly alike yet i knew them apart from the first day and night i heard the rattle of the it became monotonous and felt the mouth of the on my chest when they threw i backed death heavily it seemed to me there were ways of the i loaded them but it wasn t to be mother life always threw the highest numbers and life had the last throw i praise god for that said very softly i don t he answered i hoped for a neat little execution a little pain perhaps a little shedding of blood without which there is no of sins but i suppose that would have been letting me off too easy he drew away his hand and covered his eyes si sir richard when i had seen you i seemed to have made my final peace i understood why i had been kept waiting till then having seen you i flattered myself i might decently get free at last but i am afresh that s all and sent back to the lady s eyes sought the radiant prospect the | 32 |
green of the garden the graceful columns of the airy the land set in the of sea and sky no words of hers could give comfort as yet so she would remain silent her trust was in the amiable of time which may bring solace to the tormented human sou even as it the mountain side swept by the stream or and renders gladly the plague city but there was a movement upon the bed richard had turned on his side he had recovered his self control and once more looked at her mother he said calmly is your love great enough to take me back and to give yourself to me again though i am not fit so much as to kiss the hem of your garment there is neither giving nor taking my beloved she answered smiling upon him in the truth of things you have never left me neither have i ever let you go ah but consider these last four years and their record he rejoined i am not the same man that i was there s no getting away from fact from deeds actually done or words actually said for that matter i have kept my singularly repulsive infirmity of body and to it i have added a mind with foul memories i have been a brute to you a traitor to a friend who trusted me i have been a an and i am hopelessly broken in pride and the conceit the pluck even has been licked right out of me richard paused his voice which faltered again i only want since it seems ive got to go on living to away somewhere out of sight and hide myself and my wretchedness and shame from i know can you bear with me and as i am mother can you put up with my temper and my silence and my grumbling useless log as i must continue to be yes yes answered richard threw himself flat on his back again ah how i hate myself my god how i hate myself he exclaimed and how beyond all worlds i love you put in quietly the new heaven and new earth he felt out for her hand across the sheet found and held it there were footsteps upon the terrace to the right the scent of a cigar s voice in question st s in answer both with enforced discretion and of tone general joined them miss st laughed gently the sound was musical and sweet footsteps and voices died away a of bells and the of an outward bound came up from the city and the port richard s calm had returned his expression had softened will those two marry he asked presently lady paused before speaking i hope so for s sake she said he has served if not quite jacob s seven years yet a full five for his love if for s sake why not for hers asked because two don t always make a whole in marriage said you are as great an as ever he paused then raised himself sitting upright speaking with a certain passion mother will you take me away away from at once just as soon as possible i never want to see this room or this house or again the climax was reached here of and of and of degradation don t ask what it was i couldn t tell you and only one person whose lips are sealed in self defence knows exactly what took place besides myself but i want to get away away alone with you who are perfectly and compassionate and who have forgiven me and who still can love will you come will you take me the is all ready for sea yes said i asked this morning who was here with you and told me i can t see them mother simply i can t i haven t the nerve i haven t the face can you send them away yes said richard s eyes had grown bright a spot of colour burned on either cheek leaned over him my dearest she declared you have talked enough yes they re beginning to play again i can hear the rattle of the mother take me away take me out to sea away from this dreadful place ah f you poor darling how horribly selfish i am but let me get out to sea and then later take me home to the house is big nobody need see me no no said him back with tender force si sir richard upon the pillows no one has seen you no one shall see you we will be alone you and i just as long as you wish with me my beloved you are very safe chapter iv of and matters of sport raw evening early in the following december the house at presented an unusually animated on the gravel of the carriage sweep without breathed and horses the steam from whose and nostrils showed white in the chill dusk slowly up and o f in the hall within a number of gentlemen more or less l es themselves with cheerful conversation with strong waters of quality and with their l mr s very excellent cigars they moved stiffly and stood in attitudes more professional than elegant the long clear coloured drawing room beyond offered a perspective of much amiable comfort the glazed of its gave back the brightness of candles and shaded lamps while drawn curtains shut out the somewhat mournful prospect of garden bare trees and grey mist at the tea table large mild clothed in wealth of black silk and black lace was mrs lord his handsome countenance beaming with good nature and good health above his blue and white bird s eye and scarlet hunting coat sat by her with great and at great length mary | 32 |
stood near them an expression of kindly diversion upon her face her figure had grown somewhat in these days and there were lines in her forehead and about the comers of her rather large mouth but her crisp hair was still untouched by grey her bright complexion had retained its freshness she possessed the same effect of and good sense as of old while her honest brown eyes were soft with satisfied mother love as they met those of the slender black headed boy at her side was in his second term at and had come to to day for his the little party was completed by lord who stood before the fire warming that part of his n which by the lay mind in such mysteries might ive been judged to be already more than sufficiently warmed the new heaven and new earth by the saddle his feet planted far apart and a long glass of brandy and in his hand for this last he had offered good tempered apology i know ive no business to bring it in here mrs he said and make your drawing room smell like a pot house but you see there was a positive for the hearth rug in the hall a modest man such as myself hadn t a chance there s a regular half the county in fact before that fire so i thought i d just slope in here don t you know it looked awfully warm and inviting and then i wanted to pay my respects to mrs too and talk to this young chap about in peace flushed up to the roots of his hair being very sensibly exalted since what young male creature who knew anything really worth knowing that was s way of putting it at least did not know that lord had been a mighty from his youth up and upon a certain famous occasion had won the grand national on his own horse only tea for me mrs lord was saying capital thing tea never touch spirits in the and never have no reflection upon other men s habits he turned an admiring glance upon the tall well made other men know their own business best always have been a great advocate for believing every man knows his own business best still stick to my own habits like to be consistent very thing to be consistent very to the character always have told all my children that as you begin so you should go on always have tried to begin as i was going on haven t always succeeded but have made an honest and it is something you know to make an honest try to bear that in mind you young gentleman this to not half a bad rule to start in life with to go on as you begin you know always provided you begin right you know my dear fellow observed patting the boy s shoulder with his disengaged hand and looking at the boy s mother with a humorous suggestion of self now as formerly he entertained the very sentiments towards all good women yet maintained an extensive acquaintance with women to whom that is not but lord was fairly under weigh words flowed from him careless of or of interruption he was innocently and happy he had enjoyed a fine s sir richard day s sport in company with his favourite son whose were not it may be added just now in a critical condition and then access of material prosperity had recently come to lord in the shape of a considerable property in the north of the income derived from this to from ten to twelve thousand a year was to him during his lifetime with remainder on trust in equal shares to all his children there were good horses in the stables now and no question of making shift to let the house in square for the season while the amiable nobleman s account showed a far from balance and consciousness of this last fact formed an agreeable to his every thought therefore was he even more than usually according to his own kindly and innocent fashion very hospitable and friendly of you and to be sure he continued to throw open your house in this way kindness alike to man and beast man and beast for which my son and i are naturally very grateful lord looked at mary again smiling little mixed that statement isn t it he said unless we take for granted that i m the beast i was a good deal perplexed i own mrs as to how we should get home without giving the horses a rest and having them fourteen miles a precious long fourteen too put in so it is his father agreed a long fourteen and my horse was regularly i can t bear to see a horse as done as that it me do me hate to over press a horse hate to over press anything that can t stand up to you and take its revenge on you always feel ashamed of myself if i ve over pressed a horse but i hadn t reckoned on the distance the pace was too hot to inquire quoted so it was meeting at you see we very rarely kill so far on this side of the country breaking just where he did i d have bet on that fox back under wood and making across the for the in the big lord declared would you though said his father very reasonable very reasonable indeed quite the thing for him to do only he didn t do it don t believe that fox belonged to this side of the country at all don t understand his the new heaven and new earth if it had been in my poor friend s time i might have suspected him of | 32 |
being a i rd chuckled a little ran too straight for a remarked well he gave us a rattling good spin ever fox he was didn t he though said lord he turned sideways in his chair threw one leg across the other and addressed himself more exclusively to his hostess haven t had such a day for years he continued and a very pleasant thing to have such a day just when my son s down with me very pleasant indeed it reminds me of my poor dear friend s time good fellow i liked never had a better master than tom very nice feeling man and had such an excellent manner with the farmers ah here s and how d ye do always glad to see you very pleasant meeting such a number of friends very pleasant to a pleasant day eh mrs and i were just speaking of poor tom you used to hunt then do you remember a run just about this time of year it may have been a little earlier i tell you why it was the second time the hounds met after my poor friend s funeral lord died on the twenty seventh of october john said the doctor in walking he suffered a sharp of and his face lent itself to astonishing plain man lord commented inwardly able fellow but plain so s for that matter well dressed man and very well preserved as to figure but remarkably like an now his eyes are sunk and his eyebrows have grown so then he glanced anxiously at lord to assure himself of the entire absence of in the case of his own family oh i ah yes he remarked aloud and somewhat vaguely quite right then of course it was earlier record run for that season seldom had a better we found a fox in the and ran to water end without a check and image got into the brook mary said laughing a little so he did though lord rejoined beaming and then suddenly his complacency suffered for looking at the speaker he became aware of having on some occasion said something highly inconvenient concerning sir richard to one of her near relations he rushed into loud kind of fellow image i never image extraordinary marriage that of his a t t of poor s never have understood how could allow it oh money u buy pretty well everything in this world and a sound liver dr said as he lowered cautiously on to the seat of the highest chair available or a good conscience mrs observed with mild u am not altogether so sure about that the doctor answered known the of a few charitable w k t under that head depend upon it there s an in i t deal more conscience money paid every year th n finds its way into the of the of the so there is though said lord with an air of rt conviction never put it as clearly as that myself but must own i am afraid there is mr who had joined lord upon the here he had a tendency to air local t in the presence of his existing noble guest whom he not wholly without reason as somewhat and in questions of reform i own to sharing your dislike of image he remarked he behaved in an anything but straightforward manner about the site for the new cottage hospital at parson s did he though said lord yes i supposed it had been brought to your notice lord a little rather too downright he said to himself gets you into a comer and you not fair not at all fair in general society oh ah cottage hospital yes he added aloud very tiresome business about that hospital felt it very much at the time it was a regular job mr continued no not a job not a job my dear fellow unpleasant word job nothing approaching a job only an at most an unfortunate error of judgment lord protested he glanced at his son inviting support but that gentleman was engaged in kindly conversation with bright eyed little he glanced at mary remembered suddenly that his unfortunate remark regarding that lady had been connected with her resemblance to her father and the latter s striking defect of personal beauty he glanced at the doctor but john sat the new heaven and new earth all together watching him with an expression rather than sympathetic there was somewhere in any case his mr went on it was obvious image pressed that bit of land at waters end on the committee simply because no one would buy it for building purposes his affectation of generosity as to price was a piece of the most transparent i suppose it was lord agreed mildly a certain had promised a second five hundred pounds if the hospital was built on high ground with a of gravel it is on gravel put in lord anxiously saw it myself distinctly remember seeing gravel when the had been before digging the foundations bright yellow gravel yes and with a ten foot bed of blue clay underneath most dangerous soil going this from dr grimly is it though lord inquired with an amiable effort to welcome information not a doubt of it the surface water and generally the for we are very far yet from having discovered a which is in respect of through the cap down to the clay and lie there to rise again not at the last day by any means but on the evening of the very first one that s been hot enough to cause do they though said lord he was greatly impressed capable fellow wonderful thing science he commented inwardly and with humility but mr returned to the charge the hospital was | 32 |
the in any case he remarked as a matter of course the conditions having been disregarded lady withdrew her promise of a second oh ah lady really the simple minded nobleman exclaimed very interesting piece of news and very generous intention no doubt on the part of lady but give you my word that until this moment i had no notion that the of whom we heard so much from one or two members of the committee heard too much i thought for i dislike mysteries foolish things mysteries always turn out to be nothing at all in the finish oh ah yes well that the was lady sir richard and thereupon he shifted his position with as much assumption of as his inherent permitted he turned his chair sideways presenting an if somewhat broad scarlet clad back to his upon the hearth rug sorry to set a man down in his own house he said to himself but s a little wanting in taste sometimes he presses a subject home too closely and if i was by image it really isn t s place to remind me of it he turned a worried and countenance upon his hostess upon dr upon the drawing room door in the hall beyond one or two guests still lingered a lady had just joined them straight and tall and lazily graceful of movement lord knew her but could not remember her name oh ah he said over his shoulder i don t want to hurry you my dear boy but perhaps it would be as well if you d just go round to the stables and take a look at the horses then as the gentleman addressed moved away escorted by his host and followed in admiring silence by he repeated almost foolish things mysteries nothing in them as a rule when you them out nests generally and that reminds me i hear young lord s air of worry became young s got home again at last yes mrs said richard and his mother have been at nearly a month have they though exclaimed lord he it s a painful subject to refer to but i should be glad to know the truth of these nasty uncomfortable about young you see there was that question of his and my youngest daughter s marriage i never approved backed me up in that he didn t approve either and in the end behaved in a very high minded straightforward manner came to me himself and exhibited very good sense and very proper feeling did admitted his own with extraordinary frankness too much frankness i was inclined to think at the time it struck me as a trifle don t you know but afterwards when he left home in that singular manner and went abroad and we all lost sight of him and heard how reckless he had become and all that it weighed on me i give you my word mrs it weighed very much on me i ve seldom been more upset by anything in my life than i was by the whole affair of that wedding the new heaven and new earth i am afraid it was a great mistake throughout mrs said she folded her plump white hands upon her ample lap and sighed gently wasn t it though so i told everybody from the start you know commented lord it caused a great deal of so it did so it did the good man said he looked his kindly and well favoured countenance being by an expression of innocent it weighed on me i should be glad to be able to forget it but now it s all up again you see there are these that poor young s gone under very much one way and another that his health s broken up altogether and that he is shut up in two rooms at because it s a terribly distressing thing to mention but that s the common talk you know because he s a little touched here the speaker tapped his smooth and very candid forehead a little wrong here horrible thing insanity he repeated at this point dr who had been watching first one person and then another present from under his shaggy eyebrows with an air of somewhat harsh amusement roused pardon me all a pack of lies my lord he said and stupid ones into the bargain sir richard s as sane as you are yourself is he though the other exclaimed brightening sensibly thank you it is a very great relief to me to hear that only a man with a remarkably sound constitution could have pulled round i quite own he s been very hard hit and no wonder and ah inquired lord who rarely let slip an opportunity of acquiring information of a description yes of the sort that are most difficult to deal with and moral beginning with his engagement to lady oh dear me this from that lady s father and ending his majesty knows where i don t it s no concern of mine nor of anyone else s in my opinion he has paid his footing every man has to pay it sooner or later to life and experience and a personal acquaintance with the thou shalt not which for cause unknown goes for so almighty much in this very queer business of human existence he has had a rough time never doubt that with his high strung sensitive nature and the dirty trick played on him sir richard ih vi k dame fortune before his birth for the his ess had knocked the wind out of him if he w small blame to him but hell come round he is round day by day as he finished speaking the doctor got on to his feet awkwardly his subject | 32 |
had affected him more deeply than be x cared either to own to himself or to have others see that nerve again he growled lord had risen also capable man but rather rough at times rather too he said to himself as he turned to greet miss st she had strolled in from the hall her charming face was full of merriment there was something altogether in the carriage of her small head i was so awfully glad to see lord she said as she gave her hand to that gentleman s father it s an age since he and i have met very pleasant hearing my dear young lady for if he was here to hear it lucky fellow the kindly nobleman beamed upon her he was nothing if not mentally all the same he was much perplexed of course i remember who she is but i understood it was he said to himself made sure it was uncommonly attractive high bred woman very striking looking pair she and can t fancy settled though say she s a lot of money wonder whether it is uncommonly fine run best run we ve had for years he added aloud pity you weren t out miss st well good bye mrs i must be going i am extremely grateful for all your kindness and hospitality it is seldom i have the chance of meeting so many friends this side of the country good day to you good bye miss st wonder if i d better ask her to he thought on the chance of its being better sound him first though never let a man in for a woman unless you ve very good reason to suppose he wants her meanwhile thrusting her hands into the pockets of her long fur lined tan cloth driving coat sat down on the arm of mary s covered chair i left you all in a state of holy peace and quiet she said smiling and a fine show you ve got on hand by the time i come back they ran across the ten acre field and killed in the mrs put in john forward he stood with his hands behind looking down at the two ladies some months had elapsed the new heaven and new earth since he and miss st had met he was very fond of the young lady it interested him to meet her again glanced up at him smiling have you been out too she asked not a bit of it i m too busy mending other people s to have time to risk breaking any part of my own i m ugly enough already no need to make me i came here for the express purpose of calling on you you saw mary asked oh yes i saw cousin how is she an of faith hope and charity as usual but with just that pinch of malice thrown in which gives the compound a in short she is and then she looks so admirably well that six months at sea was a great mary remarked yet it really is rather wonderful when you consider the state she was in before we went to you at and how frightened we were at her undertaking the journey to her affections are satisfied dr said and his loose lips worked into a smile half half tender i am an old man and i have had a good lot to do with women at second hand feed their hearts and the rest of the runs easy enough anything short of disease can be cured by that sort of nourishment even disease can be arrested by it and what s more i have known disease develop in an apparently perfectly healthy subject simply because the heart was starved oh i tell you you re marvellous beings and yet you know i feel so sold declared when i consider the way in which we all mr and i acted attended cousin to wrapped her in cotton wool dear thing sternly determined to protect her at all costs and all from well i am ashamed to say i had no name bad enough at that time for richard and then this very person whom we regarded as her probable destruction proves to be her absolute salvation while she proceeds to turn the tables upon us in the fashion imaginable she showed us the door and entreated us in the most manner to return whence we came and leave her wholly at the mercy of the enemy i was furious miss st laughed downright furious and s temper for all his high was a thing to swear at rather than swear by the morning he and i left with sir richard tbe greatest we her even to keep cl she rag dear thi for getting rid off the lot of as oh we had a and no mistake so told me stretched herself a little against the back of the chair herself by laying one hand on the other woman s shoulder and john observing her noted not only her and almost grace a swift change in her humour from light hearted laughter to a certain and as he half but to day she went on when cousin told me about it i confess the whole situation laid hold of me i could not help seeing it must been finely romantic to go off like that those two alone caring as she cares and after the long separation it sounds like a thing in some ballad there s a in it all which one s blood she says the s crew were to her and treated her as a queen one can fancy that he stately lovely queen mother and strange only son they called in at the north african ports and at and and the cape de and | 32 |
then ran straight for then they up the coast to and on to the west indies richard never went ashore cousin only once or twice but they about in the everlasting summer of fringed with palms and low dim red houses just it all the colour and lights and beauty and far of it and then when the fancy took them got up steam and slipped out again to sea and the name of the is the that s in the picture isn t it paused she leaned forward her chin in her hands her elbows on her knees she looked up at john and there was a singular expression in her clear and serious eyes i used to pity cousin she said i used to break my heart over her and now now upon my word i believe i envy her and see here dr she has asked me to go on to from here it seems that though richard refuses to see anyone except you of course and march he at his mother being so much alone what ought i to do i feel rather uncertain i have fought him i i have we have never been friends he and i he doesn t like me he s no reason to like me anything but what do you say shall i refuse or shall i go and the doctor reflected a little drawing his great square hand down over his mouth and heavy chin the new heaven and new earth yes go he answered go and chance it your being at may work out in more of good than we now know chapter v telling how came to a certain of black ribbon yet as those grey weeks went on to christmas and the coming of the new year it became there was that in the aspect of affairs at which might very well provoke curious comment for the of richard s self imposed seclusion to which miss st had made allusion in her conversation with dr was not relaxed rather indeed did it threaten to pass from the accident of a first return after long absence and illness into a matter of fixed and accepted habit for those years of lonely wandering and rage of living finding their climax in deepening disappointment and the shock of rudely inflicted insult and disgrace had produced in richard a profound sense of from society and from the of ordinary intercourse since he was apparently doomed to survive he would go home but go home very much as some or wounded beast back to hide in its he was master in his own house at least and safe from intrusion there the place offered the silent sympathy of things familiar and therefore in a sense it is to look on that upon which one has already looked a thousand times and so after his reconciliation with his mother followed in natural his reconciliation with here he would see only those who loved him well enough in their several stations and degrees to respect his humour to ask no questions to leave him to himself richard was gentle in manner at this period courteous humorous even but a great was upon him it seemed as though some string had snapped leaving half his nature broken and dumb he had no no desire of sport and business were as little to his mind as society more than this at first the excuse of fatigue had served him but very soon it came to be a admitted fact that richard did not leave the house surely it was enough he said to afford space for all the exercise he needed refusing to sir richard his old of rooms on the ground floor he had sent orders before his arrival that the smaller library adjoining the long gallery should be converted into a bed chamber for him it had been richard s practice when on board ship to steady his uncertain footsteps on the slippery or plane of the deck by the use of and this practice he in great measure retained it increased his poor powers of it rendered him more independent sometimes when secure that lady would not receive visitors he would make his way by the large library the state drawing room and to the chapel room and sit with her there but more often his days were spent exclusively in the long gallery he had brought home many curious and beautiful objects from his wanderings he would add these to the existing collection he would examine the books too procure such volumes as were needed to complete any imperfect series and in the of science literature and travel bring the library up to date he would devote his leisure to the study of various subjects specially natural science regarding which he was conscious of a knowledge deficient or merely i really am perfectly contented mother he said to lady more than once look at the length and breadth of the gallery it is as a city of magnificent distances after the deck of the dear old and my twelve foot cabin and fm not a man calculated to occupy so very much space after all let me about here with my books and my don t worry about me i shall keep quite well i promise you let me peacefully the spring anyhow i have plenty of occupation is going to the library catalogue with me and there are those of deeds and order books and which really ought to be looked over as it appears pretty certain i shall be the last of the family it would be only civil i think to bestow a little of my ample leisure upon my forefathers and set down some more or less comprehensive account of them and their doings they ear to have been given to rather dramatic adventures don t | 32 |
you worry you dear sweet as i say let me until the birds of passage come and the young leaves are green in the spring then when the days grow long and bright the sea will begin to call again and when it calls you and i will pack and go and yielded being convinced that richard could treat his own case best if healing complete and radical was to be seated it must come from within and not from without the new heaven and new earth her wisdom was to wait in faith there was much that had never been told and never would be told much which had not been explained and never would be explained for notwithstanding the very gracious relation existing between herself and richard that there were blank spaces not only in her knowledge of his past action but in her knowledge of the sentiments now animated him as from a far country his mind she perceived often travelled to meet hers there was a door to which she found no key but happily could respect the individuality even of her best beloved unlike the majority of her sex she was incapable of intrusion and did not make affection an excuse for familiarity love in her opinion obligations of service rather than rights of examination and direction she had learned the condition in which his servants had found richard in the opera box of the great theatre at lying upon the floor unconscious his face cut and bleeding but what had produced this condition whether accident or act of violence she had not learned she had also learned that her niece de had stayed at the villa just before the commencement of richard s illness he merely passing his days there and spending his nights on board the in the harbour where no doubt that same illness had been contracted but she resisted the inclination to attempt further discovery she even resisted the inclination to regarding all this what richard might elect to tell her that and that only would she know lest seeking further bitter and thoughts should arise in her and mar the calm pathetic sweetness of the present and her deep abiding joy in the recovery of her so long lost delight she refused to go behind the fact the glad fact that richard once was with her that her eyes beheld him her ears heard his voice her hands met his every little act of thoughtful care every pretty word of half playful affection confirmed her and made the present even this somewhat morbid tendency of his to shut himself away from the observation of all acquaintance conferred on her such sweetly exclusive rights of intercourse that she could not greatly quarrel with his secluded way of life as to the business of the estate and household this had become so much a matter of course to her that it caused her but small labour if she could deal with it when richard was and far away very surely she could deal with it now when she had but to open the door of that vast silvery tinted fragrant many room and entering among its many strange and costly treasures find him a treasure as strange and sir richard if counted by her past suffering as costly as ever and tortured a woman s heart and so it came about that to such few friends as she received could show a serene countenance shortly before christmas miss st came to and coming stayed herself with ready tact to the altered conditions of life there found not only pleasure but support in the younger woman s presence in her devoted yet affection in her practical ability and in the sight of so graceful a creature going to and fro she her guest in the room and by insensible degrees permitted to return to many of her former in connection with the estate so that the young lady took over much of the business riding forth almost daily by or in company with march to matters of building or of road mending or and not cheering a home what sour minded man just now and tempered hi richard asked no word of him or of his horses by visits to the racing stables i had better step down and have a crack with the poor old dear cousin she would say or those unlucky little wretches of boys will catch it double tides which really is rather superfluous and all the while amid her very varied interests and occupations remembrance of that hidden twilight life going forward upstairs in the well known rooms which she now never entered came to as some perpetually and mournful harmony in an otherwise not piece of music might have come it exercised a certain dominion over her mind so that richard though never actually seen by her was never wholly absent from her thought all the orderly routine of the great house all the day s work and the sentiment of it was influenced by of the of his invisible presence and this affected her strongly causing her hours of and annoyance and again hours of if reluctant pity when the unnatural situation of this man young as herself endowed with a fine intelligence an for affairs the craving for amusement common to his age and class and the pathos inherent in that situation haunted her imagination his self inflicted imprisonment a reflection upon in a sense a reproach to her own freedom of soul and pleasant liberty of movement and troubled her it touched her pride somehow it produced the new heaven and new earth in her a false conscience as though she were guilty of an a lack of and perfect delicacy whether he well or ill whether he is good or bad richard invariably takes up altogether too much room she would tell herself half angrily | 32 |
to find herself within half an hour under plea of usefulness to his mother warmly interested in some practical matter from which richard would derive at least indirectly distinct advantage and benefit i this then was the state of affairs one saturday afternoon late in february with poor himself the day had been marked by he was well in body the of one quiet week following another had his nerves repaired the waste of fever and restored his physical strength but along with this return of health had come a growing necessity to lay hold of some idea to discover some basis of thought some to action which should make life less and richard in short was beginning to more energy than he could place the old order had passed away and no new order had as yet disclosed itself he had not all this or even recognised the of his own attitude nevertheless he felt the ache of inward it effectually broke up the which had held him it made him very restless it re awoke in him an inclination to speculation and experiment snow had fallen during the earlier hours of the day and the surface of the ground being frost bound it though by no means deep remained the whiteness of it given back by the ceiling and pale of walls of the long gallery notwithstanding the generous fires burning in the two high chimney places produced as the day an effect of in the great room this was at once in with richard s somewhat bleak humour and calculated to increase the famine of it all day long he had tried to the cry of that same famine that same hunger of energy by industrious work he had examined noted here and there passages firom deeds letters order books and offering first hand information regarding former generations of it happened that studies he had recently made in contemporary science specially in obtaining theories of had brought home to him what tremendous in the development and fate of the individual are both and at first idly and as a mere then with increasing eagerness in the van sir richard hope his might throw light on matters of moment to himself and of personal application he had tried to trace out tastes and strains of tendency common to his ancestors but under this head he had failed to make any very notable discoveries for these soldiers and were united merely by the obvious characteristics of a high spirited free living race they were raised above the average of the country gentry perhaps by a greater appreciation than is altogether common of literature and art but as richard soon perceived it was less any persistent peculiarity of mental and physical constitution than a of outward event which united them the perpetually repeated chronicle of violence and accident which he read in connection with his people his reason and called for explanation is it possible he began to ask himself that a certain in incident in external happening may not cling to a race that these may not by some strange process be as are traits of character temperament of stature colouring feature or face and if this as matter of speculation merely is the case must there not exist some cause to which could be referred such persistent effect might not an hereditary fate in external events take its rise in some supreme moral or spiritual catastrophe some of law the greek held it was so the writers of the old testament held it was so too sitting at the low writing table near the blazing fire that whiteness reflected from off the snow covered land all around him richard this point with himself he admitted the theory was not scientific according to the reasoning of modern physical science it approached an outlook rather than yet he could not deny the conception admission the vision of a doomed family arose before him starting in each successive generation with brilliant and high hope only to find speedy in some more or less brutal form of death a race moreover in numbers as the years passed until it found representation in a single individual and that individual and of accident of disaster finding final expression in himself this confronted richard he had reckoned himself heretofore a solitary example of ill fortune but the contents of these records he found himself far from solitary he merely though under a novel form in the unlucky fate of all the men of his race and then arose the question to him under existing circumstances of vital importance what stood behind all that blind chance cynical indifference wanton the new heaven and new earth and arbitrary cruelty or some august far reaching necessity of as yet justice richard pushed the stiffly folded the letters and yellow with age the broken backed and order books away from him and sat his elbows on the table his forehead in his hands thinking and the of his spirit was great as it needs must be at times with every human being who dares live at first not merely at second hand who dares attempt a real and not merely a assent who dares deal with earthly existence the amazing problems and of it immediately refusing to accept with indolent timidity tradition custom convenience as his guides oh for some sure answering some assurance some revelation not relative and but absolute some declaration above all suspicion of devised concerning the dealings of the unknown force man calls god with the animal man calls man and then richard turned upon himself contemptuously for it was childish to cry out thus the heavens were dumb above him as the snow bound earth was dumb beneath there was no sign never had been never would be save in the fond of religious by superstition by and by | 32 |
ignorance by and with long armed he reached down and picked up those light made slipped from his chair and adjusted them for a long while he had used them as a matter of course without criticism or thought but now they produced in him a swift disgust his hands grasping the lowest of them were in such to the floor for the moment he was disposed to fling them aside then again he turned upon himself with contempt for this too was childish what did the use of them matter since used or not the fact of his crippled condition remained and so with a renewal of bitterness and active rebellion lately unknown to him he moved away down the great room past bronze and marble goddess past oriental tall as himself uplifted on the stands past strangely painted half fearful past filled with faint sweetness of dried rose leaves bay and past of savage warfare and hardly less savage sport towards the wide window of the eastern bay but just before reaching it he came opposite to a picture by set on an across the comer of the room it represented a hideous and mis dwarf holding a couple sir richard of graceful in a an unhappy creature who bad made sport for the household of some and whose gorgeous garments of scarlet and gold were designed so as to the physical degradation of its person richard had come of late to take a sombre pleasure in the contemplation of this picture the desolate eyes looking out of the and brutal face met his own with a certain claim of there existed a tragic free between himself and this being of a common knowledge and common experience as a boy richard hated this picture avoided the sight of it it had suggested which wounded his self respect too and his self security he hated it no longer finding grim solace indeed in its sad society and it was thus in silent with this rather dreadful companion as the february twilight descended upon the bare black trees and snow clad land without and upon the very miscellaneous of the many gallery within that march now discovered richard he had returned across the park from one of the ancient brick cottages just without the last park gate at the end of church lane a s wife was dying painfully enough of and he had administered the blessed to her there in her humble bed chamber the august promises and of that mysterious remained very sensibly present to him on his homeward way his spirit was uplifted by the confirmation of the divine therein perpetually renewed perpetually made evident and it followed that to come now upon richard alone here in the unnatural of the winter dusk holding silent communion with that long ago victim of merciless and tastes not only caused him a painful shock but also moved him with desire to offer comfort and render help yet what to say how to approach richard without risk of seeming and consequent offence he could not tell the young man s experiences and his own were so far apart for a moment he stood uncertain and silent then he said that picture always fills me with self reproach richard looked round with a certain lofty courtesy by no means encouraging and as he did so march was conscious of receiving yet another and not less painful impression for richard s face was very still not with the stillness of repose but with that of fierce emotion held resolutely in check the new heaven and new earth while in his eyes was a desolation that of the eyes by the great spanish artist upon the canvas close at hand when i first came to that picture used to hang in the study he continued by way of explanation ah i see and you turned it out richard observed not without an of scorn yes in those days i am afraid i did not very justly between refinement of taste and self indulgent while myself upon an exalted standard of sensibility and sentiment i rather spared myself acquaintance with that both in nature and in art which might cause me distress or disturbance of thought i was a mental in short i am ashamed of my defect of moral courage and charity in relation to that picture richard shifted his position slightly looked at the canvas and then down at his own hands in such to the floor oh you were not to blame he said it is obviously a thing to laugh at or run from unless you happen to have received a peculiar mental and physical training anyhow the poor devil has found his way home now and come into port safely enough at last he glanced back at the picture over his shoulder as he moved across the room perhaps he s even found a trifle of genuine so don t vex your righteous soul over your of him my dear the of the virtuous may make indirectly for good and your instinct after all was both the healthy and the artistic one ought to have been incapable of putting his talent to such vile uses and the first comer with a spark of true in him ought to have knocked that poor little on the head richard came to the writing table glanced at the papers which it made for an arm chair drawn up beside the fire sit down he said there is something quite else about which i want to speak to you i have been working through all these documents and they give rise to speculations neither strictly scientific nor strictly yet interesting all the same you are a dealer in problems i wonder if you can offer any solution of this one of which the basis is as to these various owners of sir the of the house is a | 32 |
with the help of a brass ring by a into the space of below the stone window sill placed there long ago when he was a little lad to serve him in such case as the present richard drew himself up on to the bench the new heaven and new earth he one of the narrow curved iron framed and leaning his elbows on the sill looked out the air was mild the smell of the earth was sweet with a wholesome sweetness the sunshine covered him and somehow whether he would or no hope its dominion and that exaltation of feeling entered into possession of him once again as he rested gazing away over the familiar home scene over this land which as far as sight carried had belonged to his people these many generations and was now his own directly below at the foot of the descending steps of the main entrance lay the square red walled space of gravel and of turf he looked at it curiously for there with the and death of thomas s if legend said truly all this tragic history of disaster had there too the of merry name and mournful memory had paid the penalty of wholly involuntary just thirty years ago that last was a rather horrible incident of which richard never cared to think had told him about it once in connection the of had told him just by chance to think of it even now made a lump rise in his throat across the turf offering quaint contrast to those somewhat bloody memories the in all their bravery of royal blue purple living green and gold led forth their sober clad mates they had come out from the pot summer houses to sun themselves they stepped with a worldly and grace and reaching the gravel their trains swept the rounded pebbles making a small dry rattling sound which so deep was the surrounding quiet asserted itself to the extent of richard s ears beyond tiie red wall the parallel lines of the elm avenue swept down to the blue and silver of the long water the which showed black purple and the reed beds rusty as a fox against thin stretches of still snow the avenue climbed the farther ascent to the wide of the red and grey gate house just short of the top of the long ridge of bare the grass slopes of the park to the left were backed by the dark edge of the fir forest and a soft gloom of oak woods grey brown and as a s belly and back closed the end of the valley eastward on the right the gardens with their of glittering fell away to the sombre pond in the valley home of loudly companies of ducks the gentle above was clothed by and by a grove of ancient trees whose pale smooth stood out from among of and the warm sir richard of fallen leaves and over it all the of the sabbath and the gladness of a fair and equal light and the charm of the scene worked upon richard not with any heat of excitement but with a temperate and reasonable grace for the spirit of it all was a spirit of of moderation of secure tranquillity a spirit rather than rather than yet generous spacious nobly reasonable giving ample scope for very sincere if pleasures and for by no means or though of a modest sort richard had tried not a few desperate adventures had his thought and action to not a few glaring patterns rushing to of extreme colour extreme white and black all that had proved pre eminently unsuccessful a most poisonous harvest of dead sea fruit what he began to ask himself if he made an effort to it to the pattern actually presented to him mellow sun visited with the brave red of weather stained in it blue and silver of water and sky lustre of sturdy as well as the solemnity of woods finger of frost in the hollows and of snow and as he sat meditating thus breathing the clear air feeling the tempered yet genial sun heat many questions began to resolve themselves he seemed to look as down a long cloudy vista beyond the tumult and the resistance and defiant the the ever repeated suspicions and of man away into the patient purposes of god and looking for the moment into those purposes he saw this also namely that sorrow pain and death are sweet to dares instead of fighting with or flying from them to draw near to examine closely to inquire humbly into their nature and their function he began to perceive that these three enemies hated and feared of all men are after all the and teachers of humanity to whom it is given to keep hearts pure and compassionate to away the of pride hardness and to break the iron bands of ambition self love and vanity to by endurance and by charity together as with the cunning strokes of the master s hammer the innumerable individual into a whole of fair form of supreme excellence of proportion the image and example of a perfect brotherhood of a republic more firmly based and more beneficent than even that pictured by the divine himself since that was by the this by the and of those three things which men most the new heaven and new earth dread perceived that without the guiding and of these three lovely terrors humanity would indeed wax wanton and this world become the court of hell lust and corruption have it all their own foul way the flesh triumph and all things come forth to themselves without remonstrance and without shame in the light of day perceived in these three a of holy spirits bearing forever the message of the divine mercy and forgiveness | 32 |
of time high noon came and passed finding and leaving him in absorbed contemplation of his own thought at last a barking of dogs and the sound of wheels away on the north side of the house broke up the silence then a faint echo of voices a boy s laughter in the great hall below then footsteps which he took to be lady s coming lightly up the grand staircase at the stair head those footsteps paused for a little space as though in whither to turn and richard pushed by an impulse of somewhat it must be owned new to him called mother is that you do you want me i m here the footsteps came forward in at the open door and through the soft glory of the all sunshine with an effect of gentle and haste s grey silk was showing the grey silk gown its floating ribbons pretty and beneath every detail of her dress was very fresh and very finished a in it from the grey and velvet bow of her bonnet to the pretty shoes upon her feet along with a lace handkerchief and her church books she carried a bunch of long stalked her face was delicately flushed a great surprise touching upon anxiety the quick pleasure of her expression my dearest she said this b as delightful as it is unexpected what brings you here sir richard and richard smiled at her without reserve no longer as though putting a force upon himself or of set purpose but naturally as one who pleasant thoughts he took her hand and kissed it with a certain and i came to look for something here he said which i have looked for many times and in very various places yet never somehow managed to find but at once tenderly charmed and rendered yet more anxious by a quality in his manner and his speech to her the purport of which she failed at once to answered him literally my dearest why didn t you tell me i would have looked for it before i went to church and saved you the trouble of the journey from the gallery here oh i the journey wasn t bad for me i rather enjoyed it said and then to tell you the truth you ve spent the better part of your dear life in looking for that same something which i could never manage to find poor sweet mother no thanks to me so far that you haven t utterly worn yourself out in the search for it he paused and gazed away out of the open but i have a good hope that s all over and done with now and that at last i ve found the thing myself and still charmed still anxious looked down at him wondering for there was a perceptible under current of emotion beneath the lightness of his speech however all that will keep he continued how did you enjoy your church did dear old distinguish himself how did he preach and still wondering again answered literally very beautifully she said with an unusual force and pathos he took the congregation not a little by storm he fairly carried us away he was eloquent and that with a simplicity which made one question whether he did not speak out of some pressing personal experience s manner was touched by a pretty edge of really i believed i knew all about and his doings by this time but it seems i don t i think i must find out it would vex me that anything should happen in which he needed sympathy and that i did not offer it his subject was the answer to prayer and the fulfilment of prophecy and how both come come surely and directly yet often in so different a form to that which in our of vision and of sense we anticipate that we fail to recognise either the answer or the fulfilment and so miss the the new heaven and new earth blessing they must needs bring and which is so richly so ours if we had but the wit to understand and lay hold of it whereupon richard smiled again yes he said very probably did speak out of personal experience or rather experience however i don t think he need worry this time at least i hope not the answer to prayer and fulfilment of prophecy when they re good enough to come along don t always get the cold shoulder then his expression changed hardened a little his lips growing thin and his jaw set look here mother he added i think perhaps i have been rather playing the fool lately since we came home i propose to take to the ordinary habits of christian man again if it doesn t bother you would you kindly let the servants know that i m coming down to luncheon oh i my dearest how stupid of me i m so grieved cried she sat down beside him on the bench dropping service books handkerchief and in the extremity of her gentle and distress it never occurred to me that you might like to come down the people came over to church and i brought mary and the two boys back is over from for the sunday and little dick has had a cold and has not gone back to school yet what can we do it would be so lovely to have you and yet i don t quite know how i can send them away again but why on earth should they be sent away richard said touched and amused by her earnestness mary s always a dear and i ve been thinking lately i shouldn t mind seeing something of that younger boy he is my isn t he and tells me he is like you and uncle you see | 32 |
husband is in the rifle and she really is a nice dear woman i saw a great deal of her while we were at the cape and so under cover of mary s kindly conversation miss st settled down into her lazy swinging stride her small head carried high her pale sensitive face very serious her straight eyebrows drawn together by of purpose of thought she followed the boy up the long room as she came towards him richard looked full at her his head was carried somewhat high too his face was very still his eyes with those curiously small pupils to them were very observant in effect hiding rather than revealing his thought his manner as he held out his hand to her was courteous even friendly and yet notwithstanding her high and fearless spirit for the first time in her life probably felt afraid and then she began to understand how it came about that whether he behaved well or ill whether he was good or bad cruel or kind seen or unseen even richard of necessity could not but occupy a good deal of space in the lives of all persons brought into close contact with him for she recognised in him a rather tremendous creature self contained not easily accessible possessed of a larger portion than most men of energy and resolution possessed too and this as she thought of it again turned her a trifle sick of an unusual capacity of suffering i am ashamed of being so dreadfully late she said as she slipped into the vacant place on his left was beyond her next to march was aware that her voice sounded slightly in part from her recent in part from a queer emotion which seemed to clutch at her throat but we walked home over the fields and by the and just in that bit where you cross the road found the of a red deer in the snow and naturally we both had to follow it up naturally richard said i m not so sure it was a red deer the boy broke in the new heaven and new earth oh yes it was she declared as she helped herself to a it couldn t have been anything else why not richard asked he was interested by the tone of assurance in which she spoke oh well the tracks were too big for a deer to begin with and then there s a difference you can t mistake it if you ve ever compared the two in the of the and you have compared the two oh certainly answered she was beginning to recover her of manner and indolent of speech i lose no opportunity of acquiring odds and ends of information one never knows when they may come in handy she looked at him as she spoke and her upper lip and her eyes into a delightful smile a smile moreover which had the faintest trace of an asking of pardon in it and it struck richard that there was in her expression and bearing a transparent sincerity and that her eyes now as she smiled were not the clear soft brown they appeared at a distance to be but an colour only to the dim yet clear green gloom which haunts the under spaces of an grove upon a summer day he turned his head rather sharply he did not want to think about matters of that sort he was grateful to this young lady for the devoted care she had bestowed on his mother but otherwise her presence was only a part of that daily discipline which must be cheerfully in obedience to the of his new and fair idea probably it is a deer that has broken out of great park and travelled he said they do that sometimes you know but here small dick whose spirits lately on giddy heights of felicity had suffered swift at mention of this thrilling adventure in which he alas had neither lot nor part projected himself violently into the mother he his words tumbling one over the other in his eagerness mother i expect it s the same deer that was talking about when lord came over to tea last friday and wanted to know if wasn t back at again and then he and don t you know because cousin richard it must have been while you were away last year the met at and ran through and right across no they didn t cousin richard interrupted they ran through the bottom of lower wood sir richard but they lost any way they lost cousin richard the younger boy cried you weren t there so you can t know what said he said they lost somewhere just into and he told lord how they beat up the country for nearly a week and how they never found it and had to give it up as a bad job and go home again and and lord said rotten bad sport hunting you get it on where they re not and they don t saw their off he said meets of the ought to be called parade that was about all they amounted to and so cousin richard i think don t you mother that this must be that same deer the elder dick s expression which had grown somewhat dark at the mention of lord brightened sensibly again and for cause unknown he looked at smiling before saying to the very small to be sure dick your arguments are no reasonable man could have a doubt about it of course it s the same deer thereupon the luncheon went forward gaily enough though miss st was conscious her to the cultivation of that same gaiety were but she dreaded the conclusion of the meal fearing lest | 32 |
then she might be called upon to behold richard once again as she had beheld him now nearly six years ago in the half house in square on the night of lady barking s ball and from that she shrank not with her former physical towards the man himself but with the moral of one compelled against his will to gaze upon a cruel sight the suffering of which he is powerless to lessen or the short light made lying on the floor by the young man s chair shocked her as the exhibition of some unhappy prisoner s irons might it constituted an offered to the richard sitting here beside her so much as to think of let alone look at that same richard when on foot therefore it was with an oddly mingled relief and sense of playing traitor that she rose with the rest of the little company and left him by himself she was thankful to escape though all the while her inherent loyalty tormented her with accusation of meanness as of one who deserts a comrade in distress but here the small dick to whom such complex of sensibility were as yet wholly foreign created a diversion by round from the far side of the table and forcibly the new heaven and new earth seizing her hand he was jealous of the large share had to day secured of her society he meant to have his so he rubbed his curly head against her much elbow her lovingly in the of his affection as some nice little ram lamb might but just as they reached the door through which lady and the rest of the party had already passed the boy drew up short i say hold on half a minute please he said and then turning round his cheeks red as he marched back to where richard sat alone at the head of the table in case in case don t you know he began in the excess of his excitement in case cousin richard didn t quite take in what you said at the beginning of luncheon you did mean for really that i was to come and stay here in the summer holidays and that you d take me out don t you know and show me your horses and to glancing at them there was a singular and almost tragic comment on life in the likeness yet of those two faces the features almost the same blue eyes the two heads alike in shape each with the same bright brown cap of hair but the boy s face flushed without or of its eager happiness the man s full of reserve almost self contained and still yet when the elder richard s answer came it was altogether gentle and kindly yes most distinctly for really dick he said let there be no mistake about it let it be clearly i want to have you here just as long and just as often as your mother and father will spare you i ll show you the horses never fear and let you ride them too a a a real big one just as big a one as you can richard paused and i ll show you other things if all goes well which i m beginning to think and perhaps you ll think so too some day are more important even than horses he put his hand under the boy s chin tipped up the ruddy beaming little face and kissed it it s a compact he said now cut along old chap don t you see you re keeping miss st waiting whereupon the small richard started enough being slightly impressed by something he knew not quite what only that it made him feel awfully fond somehow of this newly dis sir richard covered cousin and but about half way down the room that promise of a horse a thorough bred and just as big as he could swept all before it rendering his spirits so he made a wild rush and flung himself headlong upon the waiting oh you want to bear fight do you two can play at that game she cried you young rascal then without apparent effort or of her lazy grace the elder richard saw her pick the boy up by his middle and notwithstanding on his part throw him across her shoulder and bear him bodily away through the into the hall and out of sight hence it fell out that not until quite late that evening did the moment so dreaded by miss st actually arrive in of delay she practised a not altogether flattering to her self respect coming down rather late for dinner and retiring immediately after that meal to the gun room under plea of correspondence which must be posted at in time for to morrow s day mail she was even late for prayers in the chapel so that taking her accustomed place next to lady in the last but one of the upon the side she found all the members of the household gentle and simple alike already upon their knees the household strong that night a testimony it may be to as much as to religious feeling in the seats immediately below her were an array of women servants declining from the high of mrs the housekeeper the faithful and her own and loyal north country woman to a very youthful maid sitting just without the altar rails at the end of the long row opposite were not only winter the steward and the other men servants but heading a from the house stables and occurrence the italian with his air of gentle and philosophic melancholy and his sentiments in and politics liable these last when enlarged on to cause much fluttering in the dove cot of the housekeeper s | 32 |
return to the ordinary habits of the ordinary man sweet dear thing small wonder that she trembled he had led her such a dance in the past that any new departure must give cause for anxious sunk his head in his hands god forgive him what a dance he had led her and march was happier he richard was pretty certain of that since could not but that in the present case at all events neither fulfilment of prophecy nor answer to prayer had been disregarded and the hard bitten old tom was happier probably really the happiest i sir richard of the lot since he demanded nothing more and than restoration to favour and due recognition of the importance of his calling and of the merits of his horses and nice funny little dick was happier too richard s heart went out strangely to the dear little lad he wondered if it would be too much to ask mary and to give him the boy altogether then he put the thought from him judging it of the selfishness the and with which he had sworn to part company forever he stretched his hand out over the arm of the chair craving for some creature warm sympathetic to lay hold of he remembered there used to be a man down near a hard riding farmer who bred bull dogs white ones with black points like camp and camp s forefathers he would tell to go down there and the two best of the next litter of yes he wanted a dog again it was foolish perhaps but after all one did want something and since other things were denied a dog must do and he wanted one badly yet the day had been a success on the whole he had been true to his code only and richard shrugged his shoulders rather wearily it had got to be begun all over again to morrow and next day and next an endless perspective of to and the poor flesh with its many demands its delicious and passions its its revelations its its drunken must it have nothing nothing at all must that whole side of things be ruled out forever he had no more desire for god forbid somehow had him of all possibility of that and he would never ask any woman to marry him the sacrifice on her part would be too great he thought of little lady simply it was not right so practically the joys of life were reduced to this they must consist solely in giving giving giving of time sympathy thought and money a far from programme no doubt but a rather austere one for a man of liberal tastes of varied and of barely thirty and he was as strong as a bull now he knew that he might live to be ninety yes he thought he would ask for little dick the boy would be an amusement and interest him and then suddenly the vision of st in her red and black gown with that air of something and about it the small dick up in her strong arms throwing him across her shoulder and bearing him off bodily and of again later her sensitive all alight as she of the ultimate aim and purpose of the new heaven and new earth life and of living came before him above her white dress he could see her white and finely shoulders as she swept down to pick up that wretched yes she was a being of singular of remarkable capacity both mental and practical and she might have a heart she might once or twice it had looked rather like it but after all what did that matter the feminine side of things was excluded besides he supposed she was half engaged to yawned he was sleepy his meditations became he had best go to bed and the devil fly away with all women saving and excepting my best beloved mother he said chapter viii concerning the brotherhood founded by richard and other matters of some interest it was still very all the windows of the red stood wide open outside the thunder rain fell straight as ram rods in big drops which upon the grey and on the pink and yellow scarlet and orange of the pot plants and early set three deep along the base of the house wall the whole length of the terrace front the atmosphere was thick masses of purple cloud lurid light crowning their boiled up out of the south east but the worst of the storm was already over and the land grateful for the of rain a whiteness of smoke as in from off some altar of incense on the grass slopes of the near park a flight of had alighted they stalked and strode over the withered turf with a air seeking but so car finding none since the moisture had not yet sufficiently penetrated the hardened soil for earth worms and kindred to move within the red drawing room had suffered conspicuous change for on richard moving downstairs to his old quarters in the south western wing of the house lady had judged it an act of love rather than of to restore this long apartment to its former employment adjoining the dining room connecting this last with the sir richard room summer parlour and garden hall this room was convenient to in before and sit in for a while after meals richard would thereby be saved superfluous journeys upstairs and this act of which was also in a sense an act of once decided upon carried it forward with a certain gentle crimson carpets and and the furniture according to its long ago positions the memory of | 32 |
what had once been should remain forever here but with the glad colours of life not the faded ones of death upon it it satisfied her conscience to do this for it appeared to her that so very much of good had been granted her of late so large a measure of peace and hope vouchsafed to her that it was but fitting she should bear testimony to her of all that by of the last outward sign of the rebellion of her sorrowful youth the richard of to day busy with much kindness thoughtful of her comfort her with delicate which to receives them makes her womanhood a privilege rather than a burden yet her not a little too in the security of a fair and equal affection bore such moving resemblance to that other richard first master of her heart that could afford to the cruelty of certain memories retaining only the portion of them and could find a peculiar sweetness in of this room formerly devoted wholly to sense of injury and blackness of hate and on the day in question s presence a specially tender brightness even as the thirsty earth refreshed by the thunder rain sent up a rare whiteness as of incense smoke for she had been somewhat anxious about lately to her sensitive observation of him his virtue his of temper his had come to have in them a pathetic element he was lovely and pleasant in his ways but sometimes when tired or off his guard she had surprised an expression on his face a constrained patience of speech even of attitude which made her fear he had given her but that half of his confidence calculated to cheer while he kept the half calculated to rather to himself and in good truth richard did suffer not a little at this period the first push of enthusiastic conviction had passed while his new manner of conduct and of thought had not yet acquired the of habit the tide was low and sand bars disclosed themselves he endured the temptations arising from the state known to writers as spiritual and found those temptations of an and wholly sort and though he held his the new heaven and new earth feared for him feared that the way he elected to walk in was over strait and that though resolution would hold health might be my darling you never now she had said to him a few days back to which he answered poor dear mother have i cheated you of one of your few small pleasures was it so very delightful to listen to that same grumbling i begin to believe it was declared it conferred a distinction upon me you see because i had a comfortable conviction you grumbled to nobody else one is jealous of distinction yes i think i miss it whereupon he laughed and kissed her and swore he d fast enough if there was anything which positively there wasn t to about au of which though it charmed appeased her anxiety but the young man worked too hard his opportunities of amusement were too scant cast about in thought and in prayer for some of his daily life even if such should lessen the completeness of his dependence upon herself and it was just at this juncture that miss st wrote proposing to come to for a week she had not been there since the recess she wrote from where she was staying on her way south after paying a round of country house visits in scotland it was now september she would probably go to for the winter with young lady grand niece by marriage of her late god mother and whose lungs were pronounced to be badly touched might she therefore come to to say good bye and to this proposed visit richard offered no opposition though he received the announcement of it without any marked demonstration of approval oh by all means let her come of course it must be a pleasure to his mother to have her and he d got on very well with her in the spring he had richard s expression was slightly but he did really like her oh dear yes he her exceedingly she was quite curiously clever and she was sincere and she was rather beautiful too in her own style he had always thought that by all means have her after which conversation richard went for a long ride cottages in building at and visited a house extensive internal alterations which stands back from s green about a hundred yards short of the s shop at row he came in late unusual sir richard silence held him during dinner and lady took herself to task herself with selfishness was very dear to her and so only too probably she had the friendliness of s attitude towards the young lady but they had seemed to get on so extremely well in the spring and very fairly well at yet perhaps in that as in so much else richard put a upon himself obeying conscience rather than inclination was nor had her yesterday upon miss st s arrival richard remained today however matters had improved something possibly the seemed to have his coldness broken up his of manner therefore gave thanks and moved with a lighter heart as for miss st herself an innate pervaded her aspect not easy to resist lady had been sensible of it when the young lady first greeted her that morning it remained by her now as she stood after luncheon at one of the open windows watching the up rolling thunder cloud the the solemn behaviour of the was easily entertained to day she felt weu disposed towards every living creature and the diverted her extremely they reminded her of certain garden parties with this improvement | 32 |
on the human that here wives and daughters also were condemned to decent instead of being at liberty to array themselves according to self invented of remarkably taste but though diverted it must be owned she gave her attention the more closely to all that outward drama of storm and rain and to the of the because she was very conscious of the fact that richard had followed her and his mother into the red drawing room and it hurt her though she had now of necessity witnessed it many times it hurt it still very distressed her to see him walk as she heard the soft and of his onward progress followed by the little clatter of the as he laid them upon the floor beside his chair the brightness died out of s face she sharp annoyance against herself for she had not anticipated that this would continue to affect her so much she supposed she had grown accustomed to it during her last two visits to and that this time it would occasion her no shock but the sadness of the young man s remained present as ever the of it offended her the desire by some by any means to the of the new heaven and new earth liberty and opportunity which it inflicted wrought upon her almost painfully and so she looked very hard at the hungry both to secure time for recovery of her and also to spare richard smallest suspicion that she avoided beholding his advance and we needn t start until four mother she heard him say but i m afraid it is clearing turned from the window yes it is clearing she remarked clearing you won t escape the function after all it s a nuisance having to go richard replied but you see this is an old engagement people are wonderfully civil and kind i wish they were less so they waste one s time but it doesn t do to be and we needn t stay more than half an hour need we mother he looked up at don t you think on the whole you d better come too he said but the young lady shook her head she stood close beside lady oh dear no she answered i am quite absolutely certain i hadn t better come too richard continued to look up at her half the county will be there everything will be richly dull think of it do come he repeated it would be so good for your soul oh my soul s in the humour to be nobly careless of personal advantage replied it s in a state of almost full blown regarding the security of its own salvation to day somehow her glance rested very sweetly upon lady and then all the rest of me and not my soul has a word to say in that connection cries out to go and tramp over the steaming turf and breathe the scent of the fir woods again sat down lazily on the arm of a neighbouring against the crimson cover of which her striped blue dress showed distinct and clear richard s prolonged and quiet scrutiny oppressed her slightly change of attitude and place and then she continued i want to go down to the and have a look at the how are they coming on have you anything good two or three promising they re in the nearest the long water find them as quiet as sheep sir richard but ask you not to go in among the brood and unless is with you they may be a bit savage and shy and it is not altogether safe for a lady he stretched out his hand taking lady s hand for a moment dear mother you look tired you ll have to put up with the weather s not going to let us off go and rest till we start and when a few minutes later departing closed the door behind her he addressed miss st again how do you think my mother is beautifully well not worried no said you are really quite contented about her then the question both surprised and touched his as a friendly and gracious admission that she possessed certain rights oh dear yes she said i am more than contented about her no one can fail to be so who loving her sees her now there was just one thing she wanted now she has it and so all is well what one thing asked with a hint of irony in his manner and his voice why you you richard said she drew herself up proudly a little alarmed by a little defiant of the of her own perceiving so soon as she had uttered it that it might be as reproach and to administer reproach had been very far from her purpose she fixed her eyes upon the of the great oaks crowning an at the far end of the lime avenue the foliage of them deep green into was solid and offering a rather magnificent scheme of stormy colour taken in connection with the hot purple of the cloud framed by the stone work of the open window the whole presented a fine picture in the manner of a few bright and and the thunder growled far away in the north the atmosphere was heavy for a time neither spoke then said gently as one asking a favour richard will you tell me about that home of yours cousin was speaking of it to me last night and it seemed to her his thought must have to some far distance and found difficulty in returning thence it the new heaven and new earth was so long before he answered her while his face had become set and showed as wax against the surrounding crimson of the room oh the home he exclaimed his shoulders just it doesn t | 32 |
amount to very much my mother in her dear of faith and hope the value of it it s just an idle man s a with an uncommon amount of to it apparently that depends on its success it s a thing to be judged not by intentions but by results what made you think of it richard looked full at her spreading out his hands and again his shoulders slightly miss st accused herself of a defect of tact isn t it rather obvious why i should think of it he asked it seemed to me that in a very mild and limited degree it was calculated to meet a want he smiled upon her quite sweet yet once more there was a of irony in his tone of course hideous creatures and creatures are an we pity but we look the other way i quite accept that they are a nuisance since they are a standing to the fact that things here below very far from always work smoothly and well and that there are beyond the power of applied science to put right the ordinary human being doesn t to be forcibly reminded of that by means of a object lesson richard shifted his position clasped his hands behind his head he had begun speaking without idea of self revelation but the relief of speech after long self took him him on old strains of feeling kept under by conscious exercise of will asserted themselves he asked neither sympathy nor help he simply called from off those and sand bars laid bare by the tide of his first enthusiasm he protested wearied by the spiritual which had caused all effort to prove so of late to have sought relief in words before his mother would have been he held she had borne enough from him in the past and more than enough but to permit it himself in the presence of this young strong capable woman of the world was very different she came out of the swing of society and of affairs of large interests in politics and in thought she would go back into those again very shortly so what did it matter she him and him alike his relation to her had been so sir richard fertile of at once singularly superficial and and singularly vital he did not care to his own feelings in respect of her he had so he told himself never quite to do that she had wounded his pride at times still he had faith in her power of his meaning as she sat there graceful long indolent in her pale dress looking towards the window the light on her face the fine of the of her of her jaw her and brow she appeared so free of spirit so so exalted above all that is weak by capable of or deceit but naturally with me the case is different he went on his voice growing deeper his utterance more measured it is futile to resent being reminded of that which in point of fact you never forget it s childish for the pot to call the kettle black and so i came to the conclusion a few months ago to put away all such and set myself to gain whatever advantage i could from well from my own blackness turned her head her face yet farther richard could only see the outline of her cheek she had never before heard him make so direct allusion to his own and it frightened her a little her heart beat curiously quick for it was to her as though he compelled her to draw near and penetrate a region in which gazing from afar she had divined the residence of stem and intimate miseries taking their rise in an almost alarming of time and ity of cause you see in plain english he said i view all such unhappy beings from the inside not as the rest of you do merely from the out i belong to them and they to me it is not an altogether flattering connection only recently i am afraid have i had the honesty to acknowledge it but having once done so it seems only reasonable to look up the members of my unlucky family and take care of them and if possible put them through not on the lines of a charitable institution which must inevitably be a rather mechanical step mother kind of arrangement at best but on the lines of family affection of personal friendship he paused a moment does that strike you as too and fantastic contrary to sound principle and practice shook her head it is based on a higher law than any of modem she said and her voice had a queer the new heaven and new earth in it it goes back to the to the matter of giving your life for your friend as she spoke rose she went across and stood at the window she her pocket handkerchief against her eyes well after all one must give one s life for something or other you know richard remarked or the days would become a little too dull and then one might be tempted to make short work of life altogether returned to her chair again and sat down this time not on the arm of it but in ordinary conventional fashion she faced richard he observed that her eyelids were slightly swollen slightly red this gave an extraordinary effect of gentleness o her expression how do you find them the members of your sad family she asked oh in all sorts of ways and of places it is contrary to reason an interfering with the beneficent tendency of nature to kill off the unfit yet he works like a horse to help me even talks of giving up his practice and moving to row so as to | 32 |
be near the of my establishment the lease of a rather charming old house there fell in this year fortunately the tenant did not want to renew so i am having that made comfortable for them richard smiled a greater sense of well being animated him out of the world she had come back into the world she would go meanwhile she was nobly fair to look upon she was pure of heart intercourse with her made for the justification of high purposes and unselfish experiment so he thought i am growing as keen on a fine as another man might be on a fine tiger he said the whole matter at bottom i suspect turns on the instinct of sport only the week before last i acquired a rather terribly superior specimen a lad of eighteen a factory hand in he was caught by some loose and swept into the machinery what is left of him if it which it had much better not and yet i can t help hoping it will he is such a fellow wiu require a nurse for the rest of its life so i am pushing on the work at that the home may be ready when we get him out of hospital by the way i must go tomorrow and stir up the workmen do you care to come and see it all if the afternoon is fine and not too hot and agreed nor did she shrink when richard slipping out of his chair picked up his i suppose it sir richard is about time to get ready for the function he said she walked beside him to the door opened it and passed into the tinted hung dining room there the young man waited a moment he looked not at her but straight before him he said suddenly almost harshly you and de used to be great friends for more than a year i have held no communication with her except through my lawyers can you tell me anything about her miss st hesitated nothing very direct i heard from de about three months ago i don t think i am indeed i held on to her as long as i could richard i am not and then i always prefer to stand by the woman but whatever de may have been he pulled himself together rather admirably from the time he went into the army he wanted to keep straight and to live and i hate to say so but she treated him a little too and then and then put her hands over her eyes and shook back her head angrily it wasn t one man richard went white to the lips i know that he said he moved forward a few steps who is it now oh no no said some russian from the extreme east i think prince drunken savage but he her he money upon her her with state this is de version of the affair the scandal is open and notorious but she and her prince together have great power something will eventually be arranged in the way of a marriage she will not come back chapter ix telling how and st watched the rise in the long water some hour and a half later miss st passed down the flight of stone steps leading from the southern end of the terrace to the grass slopes of the park arrived at the lowest step she gathered the skirt of her dress up over one arm thereby the new heaven and new earth securing greater freedom of movement and a straight length of pink and white thus prepared she forth over the still smoking turf the storm had passed but the atmosphere remained thick and a certain of colour obtained in the landscape the in the grass wild wild and star smelt strongly as she trod them under foot while the beds of dried and by the gave off a sharp scent usually when thus alone and in contact with nature such matters claimed s whole attention to her love of earth lore and of mother earth producing in her silent worship of those primitive who at once over and the waste land and the the forest and the pastures where heavy sweet breathed cows lie in the deep meadow grass the garden ground all pleasant orchard places and the broad promise of the waving crops but this afternoon although the colour warmth and all the many voices the refreshment of the rain were sensibly present to her s thought failed to be engrossed by them for she was in process of younger and more compassionate because more human ones whose office lies not with nature in her eternal repose and but with man in his eternal failure and not august of the golden harvest fields or fierce the goddess of the many but spare brown st francis serving his brethren with bleeding hands and feet held empire over her meditations in imagination she saw saw with only too lively of detail that eighteen year old lad in the factory at drawn up all the hopes and pleasures of his young manhood active in him by the loose into the merciless of revolving wheels and there wi out preparation without pause of warning without any dignity of shouting multitude of or of stake converted in a few horrible seconds from health and into a lump of human waste and up and down the land as she reflected wherever the great systems of trade and labour which build up the mechanical and material prosperity of our day go forward kindred things happen let alone question of all those persons who are bom into the world already injured or bearing the seeds of foul and diseases in their organs | 32 |
and their blood verily richard s sad family was a rather terribly large one well calculated to maintain its numbers even to increase for neither the age of human sir richard sacrifice nor of is really done with nor is the practice of them limited to savage in distant lands or far away of the sea they form the basis actually though in of outward aspect of all existing just as they formed the basis of all past a basis moreover perpetually and and as she considered being courageous and fair minded it was inevitable that this should be so that it should be otherwise since it made at least indirectly for the prosperity of the majority and development of the race considering which the apparently cruel and irony of it swung down past the scattered thick with ruddy fruit across the fragrant and short sweet turf through the straggling which her progress at her skirts careless of the rich colour and ample beauty out spread before her but soon as a bird after describing far circles drops at last upon the from at first determined spot so her thought settled down with relief yet in a way unwillingly and that not out of any lingering but rather from a certain proud modesty and self respect upon richard himself not only did he apprehend all this far more clearly more intimately than she could had he not spoken of the advantages of a certain blackness s vision became somewhat indistinct but he set out to deal with it in a practical manner and in this connection she began to understand how it had come about that through years of ingratitude and neglect and of loose living on his part his mother could still remain patient could endure and love for behind the obvious the almost coarse tragedy and consequent appeal of the man s there was the further appeal of something very admirable in the man himself for the and due of which it would be very possible very worth while for once recognised its existence to wait john had been right in his estimate of richard had been right lady had been right had begun to that even before richard had come forth from his self imposed seclusion in the spring the belief had increased during her subsequent intercourse with him had been during her few days visit at yet until now she had never freely and openly admitted it she wondered why and then hastily she put such wondering from her again a certain proud modesty held her back she did not want to think of herself in relation to him or of him in relation to herself she wished for a reason she refused to define to the personal the new heaven and new earth element doing that she could permit herself larger latitude of admiration his acknowledgment of with and obligation of friendship towards all victims of physical disaster kindled her enthusiasm she perceived that it was contrary to the man s natural natural revolt against the humiliation put upon him a rather superb in short of nature by grace nor was it the of any morbid or sentimental emotion it had no of the element it took its rise in conviction and in experiment for richard though still young struck her as remarkably mature he had lived his life his sins she did not doubt that suffered unusual sorrows bought his experience in the open market and at a sufficiently high price and this was the result it pleased her imagination by its essential its and individuality of outlook she went back on her earlier judgment of him first as a complaint he was strong whether for good or evil now for good and being herself among the strong valued and welcomed strength and so it happened that the tone of her meditations altered being to a serious but very real for she perceived that the tragedy of human life also the magnificence of human life since it affords and always must supreme opportunity of heroism she had traversed the open space of turf and come to the tall iron the she folded her arms on the bar of the iron gate and stood there she wanted to rest a little in these thoughts that had come to her she was not quite sure of them as yet but if they meant anything if they were other than mere they must mean a very great deal into harmony with which it would be necessary to bring her thought upon many other subjects she was conscious of an excitement a reaching out towards some disclosed glory some new and very exquisite fulness of life but was it new after all was it not rather the at last permitted activity of faculties and hitherto refused development voluntarily perhaps cowardly held in check and repressed she appeared to be making acquaintance with unexpected depths of apprehension and emotion in herself and this for cause unknown brought her into more lively commerce with her immediate surroundings and the sentiment of them her eyes rested upon them as though they might afford a to perhaps an explanation of the strange yet lovely emotion which had invaded her sir richard here in the valley notwithstanding the recent the grass was across the just within the circuit of the far a grove of large trees broke the expanse of living green beyond seen beneath their down sweeping branches the surface of the long water repeated the hot purple the colour and silver pink of the sky on the opposite slope extending from the elm avenue to the masses of the woods and upward to the line of oaks which run parallel with the park were the wheat a red gold was already for the most part bound in a company of women wearing and pink sun and | 32 |
all round blue linen faded by frequent washing to a fine clearness of tone came down over the they carried in little baskets and shining tea for the white who were busy setting up the storm fallen they laughed and talked together and their voices came to with a pleasant quality of sound two stumbling baby children hand in hand followed them as did a small white and tan spotted dog one woman was bare headed and wore a black which gave a singular value to her figure amid the yellow of the com the scene in its simple and homely charm held the poetry of that happier side of labour of that most ancient of all the s and of the generous giving of the soil set in a frame of coloured and sky the stately red brick and house crowning the high land and looking forth upon it all the whole formed to s thinking a very noble picture and then of a sudden in the midst of her quiet enjoyment of it and a tenderness which the sight of it somehow in her she was seized by sharp regret that she must so soon leave it regret that she had engaged to go abroad this winter with poor pretty frivolous young lady spoilt child of society and of wealth now half rendered desperate by the fear that disease which had laid a threatening finger on her might lay its whole hand cutting short her and breaking her many toys of anything other than and she had no conception those brutes of doctors tell i must give up low gowns she wrote and i my neck and shoulders always has admired them it makes me utterly miserable to cover them up and now that i am thinner i could have my gowns cut lower than ever nearly down to my waist which makes it all the more intolerable i went to about it went over to paris on the new heaven and new earth purpose though was wild at my travelling in the heat he i mean not poor t was just as nice as possible and promised to invent new still of course i must look at night in a high gown everybody does i shall feel exactly like our clergyman s wife at when she comes to dine with us at christmas and and once in the summer i refuse to have her oftener than that she has a long back and about fourteen children which she seems to think a great credit to her i don t as they are ugly and she is dreadfully poor she wears her sunday silk with lace wound about don t you know but wound tight that means full dress i am buying some lace at three and a half guineas a yard i suppose i shall come to winding that of an evening then i shall look like her it makes me cry dreadfully and as i tell that is worse for me than any number of lungs darling h if you really love me in the least bring nothing but high gowns perhaps i t mind quite so much if i never see you in a low one there had been much more to the same effect pathetic in its and only as reflected that is a style of pathos liable to pall upon one she sighed for the prospect of spending the winter in the and striving to restrain the of this little butterfly did not smile upon her she might have stayed on here stayed on at and worked over the dear place as she had so often done before helping lady why had she promised well because she had been rather unsettled and at loose ends of late whereupon the young lady bent down and the with a certain decision of movement closed the gate it carefully behind her and started off across the deep grass of the her pale face very serious her small head held high she would keep faith with of course she would keep faith with her it was not only a matter of honour but of it was much very much better to go yet whence this sudden heat proceeded and why the egyptian journey assumed suddenly such she carefully did not stay to inquire an not perhaps without significance the half dozen dainty meanwhile who had eyed her from their station beneath the trees trotted gently towards her with friendly their fine ears pricked their long tails carried well away in a sweeping curve went on to meet them she was glad of something to occupy her hands some outside thing to occupy her t s o sir richard she took the foremost a dark bay by the nose oi its leather head stall patted the beast s sleek neck looked into its prominent heavy eyes the blue over the velvet like and pupil of them giving a singular softness of effect drew down the fine aristocratic head and kissed the little star where the hair turned in the centre of the smooth hard forehead it was as perfectly bred as she was herself so clean so fresh that to touch it was wholly pleasant then she backed away from it holding it at arm s length noting how every line of its limbs and body was graceful and harmonious full of the promise of easy strength easy freedom of movement that it was a trifle blown out in barrel from being at grass only gave its an added it was a lovely beast a delicious beast smiled upon it talked to patted and it while another young beauty brave pushed its black under her arm and at her jacket pockets in search of bread and of apples and these good things once discovered the rest of the drove came about her | 32 |
a trifle proudly as such fine ladies with no and of vulgar and they charmed her she was very much at one with them she fed them thrusting one aside in favour of another giving each reward in due turn she passed her hands down over their slender limbs the warm colours and the of them were pleasant to her eyes and they smelt sweet as did the trampled grass beneath their hoofs for a while the human problem its tragedy magnificence alike ceased to trouble her the poetry of these beautiful innocent clean feeding beasts was for the moment sufficient in and by itself but even while she thus played with and rejoiced in them remembrance of their owner came back to her his as against their perfection of finish the lamentable between his physical and theirs s expression lost its gaiety she pushed her gentle comrades away to left and right not that they ceased to please but that the human problem and the tragedy of it once more became dominant she walked on across the rapidly while the forming up behind her followed in single file treading a pathway through the grass the foremost one still pushing its black now and again under her elbow and at her empty jacket pockets if only that horrible misfortune had not befallen richard if if but then had it not befallen him would he ever have been excited to so admirable would he ever have attained so the new heaven and new earth absorbing and vigorous a personality as he actually had again her thought turned on itself to provocation of momentary impatience the second with a return of her former decision there were conclusions she wished instinctively to avoid from which she instinctively desired escape she forced aside the all too bay who crowded upon her shot back the bar of the gate and it then once again she kissed the pretty beast on the forehead as it stretched its neck over the top of the gate good bye dear she said win your races and when the time comes drop as handsome as yourself and thank your stars you re under orders and so have small chance to your affairs as with your good looks my dear you most assuredly would like all the rest of us with whidi excellent advice she swung away down the last twenty yards of the avenue and out on to the of the red brick and bridge here in the open above the water the air was sensibly from the the deserted to her the voices of the came cheerily from the the men sat in the backed by a range of the women bright in those frail clear and knelt serving their meal she of the black stood apart her hands upon her looking towards the bridge and its solitary the tan and white spotted dog ran to and fro chasing field and the baby children staggered after it uttering excited and cries the lower had parted in the west an upper of pale gold which upward and outward as the minutes passed save immediately below in the shadow of the bridge this found reflection in the water it as with the of the and warmer tones of the sat down sideways on the of the she watched the dark of a splash of fiery orange on their little heads swim out with restless motion from the edge of the reed beds and break up the shining surface with lines of rippling brown shadow in the shade cast by the bridge rose at the dancing and flies she could see them rush upward through the brown water sometimes they clear of it exposing their silver pink spotted sides and the olive green of their backs they dropped again with a and rings outward from the place of their disappearing all this saw but she sir richard as never before that much as she might love this and the life of it she was a guest only a pilgrim and the of her own independence ceased to please me this freedom tries as she quoted the line smiled these were indeed new aspects of herself where would they carry her both in thought and in action it was a little alarming to contemplate that and then her increased a strange taking her almost to physical pain for that same but half disclosed glory that same new and very exquisite fulness of life apprehension of which had lately been vouchsafed to her if she could remain very still and bed if she could empty her consciousness of all else bend her whole will to an act at once of determination and of reception perhaps it would be given her clearly to see and understand the the mystic were very present in just then she fixed her upon the shining surface of the water a conviction grew upon her that could she mountain a certain mental and something of permanent and very vital importance must take place suddenly she heard footsteps upon the gravel of the she started turned deliberately holding in check the agitation which possessed her to find herself confronted by the tall pre eminently modern and figure of gave herself a little shake of impatience for less than she could have given the very intruder a shake too he let her down with a so to speak from regions mysterious and to regions altogether social and of this world worldly and yet she knew that such feelings were not a little hard and unjust as entertained towards x or mr the young man in any case was happily ignorant of having offended he sauntered out on to the bridge hat in hand his head a trifle on one side his long neck directed slightly forward his expression that of polite and intimate amusement but whether amusement at his own or | 32 |
there still a trifle of doubt if so give me the benefit of it the young man pleaded half half a carriage passed under the grey of the red brick and rapidly it came on down the wide smooth string coloured road a space of neatly kept turf on either side under the shade of the heavy elm trees mr glanced at it and paused with raised eyebrows i call you to witness that i do not swear dear miss st though men have been known to become on provocation than this he said however the rather violently approaching interruption will be soon over i hope and believe since the driving is that of richard of when his temper like your being somewhat out of sorts he as the son of of old my father s morning to the maids again furiously then with an air of humorous resignation his mouth working a little his long neck directed forward as hi mildly surprised inquiry he stood watching the approaching mail the wheels of it made a hollow the tramp of the horses was impetuous the pole chains rattled as it swung out on to the bridge and drew up the whipped down and ran round to the horses heads and these stood a little extended still and rigid as of bronze the red of their open nostrils and the silver mounting of their harness very noticeable lady s sir richard called to mr the young man passed at the of the carriage and standing on the un side of the talked with her st remained sitting on the of the bridge a singular to risk any movement had come upon her not the present situation in relation to but that other situation of the but half the new and exquisite fulness of life oppressed her her whole being to the point of physical weakness yet with entire consciousness she looked up at richard and he from the exalted height of the looked down at her a dark cloth rug was wrapped tight round him from the waist downward it concealed the h h driving iron against which his feet rested it concealed the which him in his place his person appeared finely his head and face were handsome seen thus from below though it must be the expression of the latter was very far from you were well advised to stay at home he said there was a grating tone in his voice the function was even more for than you expected on the contrary it was not in the least dull it was objectionable unpleasant whereas this his face softened a little he glanced at the golden water and the green of the the rich massive colouring of and sky glanced at it likewise and so doing rose to her feet that of things new and glorious ached in her yet the pain of it had a strange and intimate charm making it unlike any pain she had ever yet felt it hurt her very really it made her weak yet she would not have had it cease yes it is all very lovely isn t it she said she laid her hand on the folded leather of the carriage hood again she looked up it is a good deal to have this always your own to come back to richard she spoke sadly almost unwillingly did not answer but he looked down a certain violence and energy very evident in him his blue eyes hard and in the depth of them desolate as the sky of a winter night calmly yet in a way desperately as those who dare inquiry beyond the range of permitted human speech the young man and woman looked at one another lady the new heaven and new earth s sweet voice meanwhile went on in kindly question s in well placed slightly elaborate answer the near horse threw back its head and the pole chains rattled s lips parted but the words if words indeed there were died in her throat she raised her hands as though putting a and actual presence away from her she did not change colour but for the moment her delicate features appeared as by a rush of blood she was almost plain yet the effect was touching it was as though she had received some mysterious injury which she was dumb incapable to express she let her hands drop at her sides turned away and walked to the far end of the bridge suddenly richard s voice came to her look out stand clear of the wheel the horses sprang forward the scrambled up at the back and the carriage swung away from the brightness of the open to the gloom of the avenue and up the long to the house mr contemplated it for a minute or so then with an air of amused he followed miss st across the bridge poor dear poor dear he said he attempts the impossible fails to attain it as a matter of course and meanwhile the possible equally as a matter of course it is all very magnificent no doubt but it is also not a little uncomfortable at times for other people however that trifle of criticism is after all beside the mark now that the has ceased miss st may the still small voice of my own affairs presume to but there he stopped abruptly my dear friend he asked in quick anxiety what is the matter pardon me but what on earth has happened to you for leaned both elbows on the low carved pillar the of the she covered her face with her hands and she shuddered from head to foot wait half a second she said in a stifled voice it s nothing fm all right slowly she herself and took a long breath then she turned to | 32 |
with all the rest of one s little illusions aiid every illusion one of is so much to the good it the ship it the chances of clearly it is so much pure gain that evening pleading occurrence in her case a headache as excuse miss st did not put in an appearance at dinner nor did richard put in an appearance at breakfast next morning at an early hour he had received a communication earnestly his presence at the his mission promised to be a melancholy one yet he was not sorry for the demand made by it upon his time and thought for notwithstanding the philosophic tone he had adopted with lady in speaking of that friendship which if not in the bud might have reached perils of too luxuriant the would be saint and the natural man the pilgrim on the to perfection and that very inconvenient animal the wild bull in a net kept up warfare within richard they were hard at it even yet when in the fair freshness of the september morning the and hedge fruit the wild flowers and low growing tangled by the roadside still heavy with dew he drove over to the day was bright with flying cloud and a breeze the dust was laid and the atmosphere cleared by the storm of the preceding afternoon had a of autumn in it it was one of those delicious yet days when the sea calls and when loves sea grows restless must seek movement seek the open strain his eyes towards the margin of the land be the coast line never so far distant tormented by desire for sight of the blue water and the strong and naked joys of the mighty ridge and where go the gallant the new heaven and new earth with the of the wind at dawn that calling of the sea had made itself heard to richard at first it suggested only the practical temptation of putting the into commission and engaging lady to go forth with him on a three or four months but that as he speedily convinced himself was but a cheap expedient a of assumed responsibility a childish of discontent rather than an honestly attempted cure of it if cure was to be achieved the must be boldly cut out not by some trifle of partially concealing plaster for he knew well enough as all sea lovers know and as he drove through the sunlight and shadow frankly admitted that though the sea itself very actually and really called yet its calling was the voice and symbol of much over and above itself for in it speaks the eternal necessity of going forward that hunger and thirst for the absolute and ultimate which drives every human creature whose heart and soul and intellect are truly and to him just now it spoke more particularly of e natural instincts of his manhood of ambition of passion of headlong desire of sensation excitement adventure of just all that in fact which he had had agreed with himself to cast aside and forget and thinking of this suspicion assailed him that had been slightly and he accused himself of the belief that giving he would also receive and that in kind while that any sacrifice which he offered would be returned to him doubled in value casting his bread upon the waters he accused himself of having expected to find it not after many days but immediately a full baker s dozen ready to hand in his pocket his motives had not been wholly pure actually though not at the time he had to strike a bargain with the almighty just as he reached the top of the long straight hill into richard arrived at these conclusions on either side the road upon the yellow surface of which the sunlight played through the tossing leaves of the plane trees were of very varied and of architecture they were for the most part smothered in and set in gardens gay with blossom below lay the red brick town blotted with purple shadow a black canal through the heart of it crossed by mean bridges the huge buildings of its railway station engine sheds goods trailing of swiftly dispersed white smoke the and of all that its factory buildings and tall chimneys were very evident as were the pale towers of sir richard its churches and beyond the ugly pushing place of it striking a very different note the blue ribbon of the still youthful thames backed by high lying chalk lands ed with hanging woods traversed a stretch of flat green meadows richard s eyes rested upon the scene since thought just now had more empire over him than any outward seeing for he perceived that he must himself yet further of self seeking those words if thou wilt be perfect sell that thou hast and give to the poor and follow thou me have not a material and significance merely they deal with each personal desire even the apparently most legitimate with each indulgence of personal feeling even the apparently most innocent with the inward attitude and the atmosphere of the mind even more closely than with outward action and conduct and so richard reached the conclusion that he must strip himself yet nearer to the bone he must the harsh truth that virtue is its own reward in the sense that it is its only reward and must look for nothing beyond that he had grown slack of late by visions of pleasant things permitted most men but to him forbidden and wearied too by the length of the way and inevitable monotony of it now first heat of enthusiasm had well it was all very simple he must just re himself and in this stem and frame of mind he drove through the bustle of the country town | 32 |
saturday market day its streets unusually alive nodding to an acquaintance here and there in passing two or three of his tenant farmers mr of in on county business the miller from parson s and image the bursting out of an obviously new suit of very then at the main door of the helped by the hospital porter he got down from the dog cart and subsequently by curious eyes saluted by hardly repressed from the out waiting en for admission to the he made his slow way along the bare stone passage to the accident ward in the far corner of which a bed was shut off from the rest by an arrangement of and of curtains and it was in the same frame of mind that some four or five hours later richard entered the dining room at the two ladies had nearly finished luncheon and were about to rise from the table lady greeted him very gladly but from inquiry as to his doings or from comment on the of the hour since experience had long ago taught her that of all known animals man is the one of whom the new heaven and new earth it is least profitable for woman to ask questions was here at home alive her eyes were rejoiced by the sight of him that was sufficient if he had anything to tell her no doubt he would tell it later for the rest she had something to tell him but that too must wait until time and circumstance were since the conveying of it involved delicate it must be handled lightly for the life of her she must avoid all appearance of eagerness all appearance of serious importance to the communication lady had learned this morning that st did not propose to marry the young lady whose charming was curiously in to day had given her to understand so much but very briefly the subject evidently being rather painful to her she was silent and a little but she was also very gentle displaying a disposition to follow about wherever she went and a pretty zeal in doing small odd for her was touched and tenderly amused by her manner which was as that of a charming child assurance that it need not be ashamed of itself and that it has not really done anything naughty but sighed too watching this strong graceful capable creature for if things had been otherwise with how she would have given the keeping of his future into this woman s hands she had ceased to be jealous even of her son s love gladly gratefully would she have shared that love accepting the place if only but that was beyond possibility of hope still the friendship of which he had spoken somewhat bitterly yesterday poor darling remained s pretensions she felt very towards that accomplished gentleman all his good qualities had started into high relief but his pretensions no longer the way to that friendship she pledged herself to work for the promotion of it was too severe in self was over strained in and the fact that in his of purpose his of self he proved himself very much her own son she determined secretly cautiously lovingly to combat all that it was therefore with warm satisfaction that as was about to rise from the table she observed richard in a degree firom his abstraction and heard him say you told me you d like to ride over to this afternoon and see the home for my crippled people are you too tired after your headache or do you still care to go oh i m not tired thanks answered then she hesitated and looking at her was aware as on the sir richard r i i m n bridge yesterday of a sudden and singular of features which while her beauty rendered her as strangely pathetic as of one who some mysterious h and to him it seemed for the moment as though both t hurt and the of it bore subtle relation to him common sense the notion as still it influenced and softened his manner but you know you are looking done up richard she went on with a charming air of half protest isn t he cousin are you sure you w to ride this afternoon please don t go out just on my oh i m right enough he answered infinitely rat go out he pushed back his chair and reached down for his still the fantastic notion that all he had been of doing some strange injury clung to him was sensible of the desire to offer this made i more than he would otherwise have been i saw a man die this morning that s all he said know it s stupid but one can t help it it one ab a bit you see he didn t want to die poor fellow though c knows he d little enough to live for or to live with for t matter your factory hand asked richard slipped out of his chair and stood upright yes my factory hand he answered dear old was fearfully savage about it he was so keen the case and made sure of pulling him through but the i boy had been up a little too thoroughly rich paused smiling at so all one could do was to with him just as far as is permitted out into the great and then then come home to luncheon the home at far loses its point rather now he is dead still there are plenty of others enough to satisfy even s of broken human oh yes i shall enjoy riding o if you are still good to come four o clock that ll suit yo i ll order the horses and so in due course the two rode forth together | 32 |
material and in that a man like myself who does not to cure or to but merely to and to pick up the pieces finds his chance and listened musing approved enthusiasm gaining her yet protested since even while she admired she a little on his account and for his sake but it is rather a hard life surely richard she said which you propose to yourself always the pieces the thing broken and spoiled never the thing in its beauty full of promise and whole it is less hard for me than for most he answered or should be so after all i am to the manner bom a bit of human m with which but for the accident of wealth things would have gone pretty badly i used to be horribly scared sometimes as a boy thinking to what uses i might be put if the kindly golden ever gave he became silent as for she had neither courage to look at or to answer him just then and you see i m absolutely free he added presently i am alone always shall be so if the life is hard i ask no one to share it so i may make it what i like oh no no you richard i didn t mean that cried quickly half under her breath again he looked at her smiling didn t you all the kinder of you he said thereupon regret almost intolerable in its invaded miss st that she would have to go away to go back to the world and all the foolish obtaining fashions of it that she should have to take that pre eminently well and luxurious winter s ey to she longed to remain here to assist in these experiments made in the name of holy charity she longed to and there paused even in thought yet she glanced at the sir richard young man riding beside her at the handsome still and set in outline the suggestion it was no more of a running downward across the left cheek at the well made upright broad shouldered figure and then at the saddle back and front with oddly shaped to it resembling old fashioned as yesterday upon the bridge the ache of a pain at once sweet and terrible laid hold of her her faint the single street sun covered sleepy empty save for a s and tax cart or two standing before the solid of the white lion inn for a straggling tail of children bearing home small and of supper beer for a flock of grey proceeding with along the very middle of the and lowering long necks to hiss defiance at the by and for an old black peacefully beneath one of the rustling in front of the s shop all these as she looked at them became uncertain in outline and before s eyes for the moment she experienced a difficulty in keeping steady in the saddle but the horses still walked quietly neck to neck their shadows and those of their growing longer outstretched before them as the sun declined in the west all the future hung in the balance but the scale had not turned as yet then richard s voice took up its again perhaps it s a rather comfortable doctrine yet it does strike one that the justification of disaster in all its many forms is the opportunity it affords the he may use t for self or for self devotion though i rather shy at so a word as that last however the use he makes of it isn t the point what is the point to my mind at least is this though it doesn t sound magnificent it hardly indeed sounds that whatever trade fails whatever profession thanks to the advance of becomes that of the man with the dust cart of the of the won t once more richard smiled upon his companion yet with something of self mockery and so you see having knocked about enough to grow careless of of prejudice and to acquire an immense admiration for any which promises i join hands with the in the light of science and in that of religion alike nothing really is common or and then then if you are beyond the pale in any case as some of us are it s a little too cheap to be afraid of he broke off the new heaven and new earth away there to the left he said you see the house the yellow washed one with the and roofs there back on the slope the bond street had it for years his lease ran out in the spring and happily he didn t care to renew had bought himself an up to date villa residence somewhere in the i believe so i took the place over it will do for a b the small end of the of my s business there are over five acres of garden and orchard and plenty of rooms on each floor which gives good range for the to move about in and the stairs only one flight are easy one has to think of these details and weu the house commands a magnificent view of s green and the on it than which nothing clearly can be more exciting the groom rode forward and opened the gate before the square porch richard drew up i should like to come in with you he said but you see it s rather a business getting ofl one s horse and i can t very well manage the stairs so i ll wait about till you are ready don t hurry i want you to see all the arrangements if it doesn t bore you and make suggestions the are there doing they ll let you through if the s out | 32 |
thus miss st dismounted and made her way into the house a broad passage led straight through it the open door at the farther end disclosed a vista of box edged path and flower borders where in gay ranks stood tall and such like beyond was orchard the round headed apple trees bright with polished fruit rising from a carpet of grass the rooms to left and right of the passage were pleasantly sun warmed and mellow of aspect the of them crossed by massive beams visited them observant she encountered the head carpenter an acquaintance and ally during those four years so great part of which she had spent at she talked with him making inquiries concerning wife children and trade incident to such a meeting her face very serious all the while the skirt of her habit gathered up in one hand her gait a trifle and measured owing to her high riding boots but though she herself in all of conversation though she each separate apartment and noted the cheerful of orchard and garden it must be owned all these remained singularly distant from her actual emotion and thought she was glad to be alone she was glad to be away from richard though obedient to his oo sir richard wishes in respect of this inspection for his oppressive fix m the intensity of feeling it produced in her and which she was at present powerless to direct any reasonable and definite end this rendered her tongue and as she fancied stupid her ha she usually indifferent enough to the impression she produced on others was sensible of a keen desire to appear at her best she did in fact so she believed appear at her worst slow of under standing and of sympathy but then all the future hung in the balance the scale delayed to turn and the strain of became to the point of distress at last the course her so dutiful survey brought her to a quaint little chamber situated immediately over the square porch it was lighted by a single window placed in the centre of the front wall it was evidently designed for a linen room and was in process of being fitted with shelves and of white pine the floor was deep in long curly coloured semi transparent they like fallen leaves when stepped among them the air ms filled with the of them dry and as that of the fir forest ever after that affected with a sense of half fearful joy and of impending fate she stood in the middle of the quaint little chamber the ceiling was low she had to bend her head to avoid violent contact between the central beam of it and the crown of her felt hat but though the space and uncomfortable though her posture she had an absurd longing to lock the door of the little room never to come out to stay here forever here she was safe but outside on the threshold stood something she dared not name it drew her with a pain at once terrible and lovely she dreaded it yet once close to it once face to face with it she knew it would have her that it would not take no for an answer her pride her was in arms was this she wondered what men and women speak of so lightly laugh and joke about was this love to her it seemed wholly awe inspiring and so she clung strangely to the shelter of the quaint little room with its sea of rustling on the other side the door of it waited that momentous decision which would cause the scale to turn yet the minutes passed to her absence became impossible just then there was a movement below a of the gravel as though of a horse growing restless impatient of standing moved forward opened the window pushing back the against a cluster of late red roses the new heaven and new earth oi i the of which floated slowly downward describing fluttering i circles richard was just below called to i him c i am coming richard i am coming she said r he turned in the saddle and looked up at her smiling a smile at once courageous and resigned yet notwithstanding that smile once again discovered in his eyes the chill desolation and of the sky of the winter night then the scale turned turned at last for that same lovely pain grew more desirable than any possibility of ease until such time as that desolation should pass that be to content in some sure here was the thing given her to do and she must do it she would risk all to win all and with that decision her serenity and freedom of soul returned the white light of a noble self devotion reckless of self spending reckless of consequence the joy of a great giving illuminated her face as to richard he looking up at her though ignorant of her purpose the cause of that inspired aspect still thought he had never witnessed so graciously gallant a sight the whom he had first known who had baffled and crossed him was here still strong remote but a woman was here too of finest fibre faithful and loyal capable of tenderness of an all and heroic love then the desires of the natural man stirred somewhat in richard just because though it undoubtedly was she provoked less the passion of the flesh than the pure and passion of the spirit irrepressible envy of her lover seized him irrepressible demand for just all those things which that other richard the would be saint had so sternly condemned himself to to cast aside and forget and the would be saint beating down thought of all that it under foot so that after interval he called up to her cheerily enough well what do | 32 |
you make of the dust cart rather fascinating isn t it notwithstanding its name it s really rather sweet to which she answered speaking firom out the wide background of her own emotion and purpose yes yes it s sad in a way richard splendidly sad but one wouldn t have it otherwise for it is splendid and it is sweet sweet then her tone i won t keep you waiting any longer i m coming she said i sir richard i i i or fr l t r s or t was se i e h i id t m i i i aw t d and f r of i e be or r i e er wa i as ye men f s i ar i t r r iv com s e lad n et wi ef s hy i ould to no i hid ever ho s o j it d ar d they rode a spin i v to h up the ful cf se w ia h r ar d shake her nerves l u it ex h grew k en and her whole economy ni n and w i by the strong exercise and sense of the h vitality of the horse under her i r o have fought with just then had such been th to fight with in point of fact g more i d ro js pr itself for encounter than the shallow f wh i s th of far ey from that of th of k a e the horses ii h the brown water and entered upon the ro j i road grass grown in places which ending i of ancient headed oaks leads to of th woods these crowned by the dark of the fir forest rose in a soft dense mass against the west f in which showed promise of a fair of a r y of ran up the sandy before the and ri ing at last with a long drawn of wings l top of th tumbling bank and dropped in the field th right a pause while the s wife ran out to open ate the dogs m from their wooden und r the spanish upon the behind the pulling at ir chains and keeping up a thus h the into the mysteriously whisper f of the at woods th r heavy summer foliage remained as yet untouched by of autumn was in form th in tint and from this resulted a remarkable effect of unity sin of intention and of far reaching secrecy the mu leaves and the all green gloom of th above seemed to horses and it was i though they rode across the floor of ocean the green ti i the new heaven and new earth sweeping overhead yet the trees of the wood asserted their intelligent presence now and again audibly they talked together bent themselves a little to listen and to look as though curious of the aspect and purposes of these wandering and all this the unity and secrecy of the place affected both richard and strangely them about with something of earth magic removing them far from ordinary conditions of social intercourse and thus rendering it possible inevitable even that they should think such thoughts and say such words as part company with and concealment go naked and speak truth for with only the trees of the wood to listen with that whisper of the green tide overhead with strong emotion compelling them in the one case towards death of self in the other towards giving of self in the one towards austere in the other towards activity all capital of pride of delicacy and of tact became imminent and those of the most vital sort the conversation had been broken but now by consent the pace became quiet again the horses were permitted to walk to have gone other than softly through the living heart of the must have of yet richard was not insensible to a certain danger he tried rousing himself to conversation to rouse himself also to the practical and commonplace i am glad you liked my house he said but i hear the aristocracy of the row it at the idea of being invaded by more or less frightful creatures but i remain deaf i really can t bother that it is so more unpleasant to be frightful than to see that which is so that i m afraid my sympathies remain rather pig one sided i propose to the row in the grace of pity it may lay up merit by due exercise of that richard took off his hat and rode bare headed looking away into the delicious green gloom here where the wood was oak and shutting out the sky clasping hands overhead the ground beneath them deep in moss that gloom was exactly like the colour of s eyes he wished it wasn t so he tried to forget it but the resemblance haunted him look where he might still he seemed to look into those singular and charming eyes he talked on putting a force upon himself too often saying that which no sooner was it out of his mouth than he wished i don t want to be too hard on the row though it has a sir richard right after all to its little prejudices only you see for those who poor souls are to other people it becomes of such supreme importance to keep in touch with the average i have found that out in practice and so i refuse to shut my waste humanity away they must neither hide themselves nor be hidden be spared seeing how much other people enjoy from which they are nor grow over conscious of their own that is why i ve | 32 |
planted them and their gardens and their pigs and their poultry we ll have a lot of live stock a second generation even of chickens offers remarkable on the at the entrance of the little town where on a small scale at all events they ll see the world that s straight backed and has its proper of limbs and senses go by envy hatred and malice and the seven devils of are forever lying in wait for them well for us for me and those like me i mean in proportion as one s brought up tenderly as i was one doesn t the and disgust of one s condition at the start but once one s tion is to kill at least a man s is a woman may accept it more quietly i suppose richard said slowly are you sure you don t greatly all all that he shook his head thirty years experience no i don t each time one makes a fresh acquaintance each time a pretty woman is just that bit kinder to one than she would dare be to any man who was not out of it each time people are interested politely of course and form a circle make room for one as they did at that particularly disagreeable garden party yesterday each time i don t want to but so it is one sees a pair of lovers oh well it s not easy to retain one s philosophy not to obey the primitive instincts of any animal when it s ill used and hurt and to revenge to want to kill in short you you don t hate women then said still slowly richard stared at her for a moment hate them he said i only wish to goodness i did but in that case she began bravely why this is why he broke in you may remember my engagement to lady and the part you very properly took in the of it you know better than i da though my imagination is pretty fertile in dealing with the it the new heaven and new earth situation what instincts and feelings prompted you to take that part the young lady turned to him her arms outstretched notwithstanding bridle reins and whip her face and those strange eyes which seemed so a part of the fair full of sorrowful entreaty and distress richard richard she cried will you never forgive me that she didn t love you it was horrible yet in doing that which i did i believed i believe so still i d what was right by you both undoubtedly you did right and that my in doing that which you did you gave voice to the opinion of all wholesome minded people that s exactly where it is you felt the whole business to be outrageous so it was i heartily agree he paused and the trees talked softly together bending down a little to listen and to look as you say she wasn t in love poor child how could she be no woman ever will be at least not in love of the nobler sort of the sort which if one cannot have it one had a vast deal better have no love at all but i am not so sure of that said stoutly you rush to conclusions isn t it rather a reflection on all the rest of us to take little lady as the measure of the insight and sensibility of the whole sex and then she had already lost all her innocent little heart to captain indeed you re not fair to us wait like miss st straightened herself in the saddle oh dear no not the least like she said which reply produced silence for a while on s part for there were various ways in which it might be interpreted some flattering some eminently to himself and from every point of view it was wisest to accept that last form of interpretation the whole conversation had been perilous in character it had been too intimate had touched him too nearly taking place here in the clear of the moreover which bore such haunting to those singularly sincere and yet mysterious eyes it is dangerous to ride across the floor of ocean with the whispering tides sweeping overhead and in such gallant company besides that to ride thus forever could hardly come amiss i richard in his turn straightened himself up in the saddle opened his chest taking a long breath carried his head high said a stem get thee behind me satan to sentiment and emotion and to those fair visions which his companion s presence and o sir richard her somewhat daring talk had up he defied the defied those who as he divined sought to him for the moment he confounded s influence with theirs it was something of a battle and not the first one he had fought to day for the great white road which leads onward to perfection looked dusty and arid enough no shadow no mystery no green over it straight hard it stretched on as it seemed ahead to travel it was slow and tedious work in any case and to travel it on but it was worse than useless to play with such thoughts as these he would put a stop to this talk he turned to and spoke lightly with a return of self mockery oh your first instinct was the true one depend upon it he said though i don t deny it contributed indirectly to giving me a pretty rough time oh i dear me cried almost then she added but i don t see why was that because i suppose i had a sort of unwilling belief | 32 |
in you he said smiling oh this accursed conversation why would it drift back into intimacy thus have i justified that belief she asked with a certain pride yet a certain eagerness more than j it answered my mother who has a for all that is of high worth knew you from the first like the devils i i believed and trembled at least that is how i see it all now so your action came as a rather searching revelation and condemnation when i perceived all that it involved oh well i first i went to the dogs and then the horses walked side by side stretched out her hand laid it on his arm richard richard for pity s sake don t you hurt me too much it s terrible to have been the cause of such suffering you weren t the cause he said lies were the cause behind which like a fool i d tried to shelter myself you ve been right from first to last what does it matter after all don t take it to heart for it s over now all over thank god and i have got back into normal relations with things and with people he looked at her very and spoke with a fine courtesy of tone one way and another you have taught me a lot and i am grateful and in the future though the conditions will be altered i hope you ll come back here often and just see for yourself that my mother is content and give my schemes and a kindly look in at the the new heaven and new earth same time and perhaps give me a trifle of sound advice i shall need it safe enough you see what i want to get at is all round towards everything and everybody not which in some respects is a much easier attitude of mind richard looked up into the whispering green tide overhead yes one must deny the luxury of if possible he said deny the vanity of one must take everything simply just in the day s work one must keep in touch keep in touch with your world the great world the world which pleasure and incidentally makes history as well as with the world of the dust cart i know that well enough if one s to be quite sane you see loneliness a loneliness of which i am thankful to think you can form no conception is the curse of persons like myself it one to hide to to shut away and become to one s misery becomes one s pleasure to nurse one s grief and one s sense of injury oh i i m wary very wary now i tell you he added half laughing i know all the temptations the tricks and and pit falls of this affair and so i ll continue to go to garden parties as discipline now and then while i gather my and family very closely about me and say words of wisdom to it wisdom derived from a mature and extensive personal experience there was a pause before miss st spoke then she said slowly and you refuse to let anyone help you you refuse to let anyone share the cares of that family again stared at her arrested by her speech and doubtful of the intention of it he could have sworn there were tears in her voice that it shook but her face was averted and he could see no more than the slightly outline of her cheek and chin isn t that a rather question he remarked as you pointed out a little while ago mine is not a cheerful programme no one would for such service at least no one likely to be acceptable to my mother or indeed likely to satisfy my own i admit i m a little fastidious a little critical and when it comes to close quarters and well permanent association even yet i am very glad to hear that said her face remained averted but there was a change in her attitude a decision in the pose of her figure suggestive both of challenge and of triumph sir richard wm but hit blood was had gone i nd too veiy oat i he would make an end of it but god forbid he that i ever c such a depth of selfishness as to invite any who i my taste my demands to share my life i tan to very much but at least i have never used m j personal iu to trade on a woman s generosity and pity i from women i ve paid in hard in that conscience is dear it has been a bargain and above board and all my debts are settled in b think at this time of day i should use my proposed as a bait sent his horse forward at a sharp trot no no he said let it be thai of things is over forever but here came relief from the green of the green i and the dangerous magic of them for the had the summit of the hill and entered upon the of the at the edge of which house stands was the open the fresh breeze the long drawn sighing so the fir forest a song more austere more courageous more i than any ever sung by the trees of the wood which drop leaves for fear of the sharp winter and only put forth again beneath the kisses of soft spring all the western sky were lines of softly rounded broken c rank behind rank in endless perspective the whole shaped mighty fan the under side of them was flushed with living the clear spaces behind them paved with at the and where they skirted the far horizon | 32 |
i how very beautiful it is cried i richard let us see this she turned her horse at the green ride which leads t white temple on that spur of hill rode on quickly till she reached the platform of turf summer house richard followed her with deliberation h shaken his calm was broken up his whole being in why had she pressed just all those matters home on him n he had agreed with himself to cast aside and forget it little cruel surely that temptation should him thus the white road towards perfection be made so difficult to t just when he had re himself and renewed his he looked after her it was here he had met her first time when as a httle maid she had too swift of the new heaven and new earth leaving him so far behind that it sorely hurt his small dignity and caused him to see her depart without r et she was still swift of foot she left him behind now for the moment he was ready to swear that not only without regret but with actual he could again witness her departure yes he wanted her to go because he so desperately wanted her to stay that was the truth for not only the natural man but the bull in a net had a word to say just then god in heaven what hard work it is to be good miss st kicked her left foot out of the threw her right leg over the turned and slipped straight out of the saddle she stood there a somewhat severely tall dark figure strong and positive in effect against the immense and landscape far purple distance golden silver of water in the hollows all the massive of the woods and that superb of sunset sky the groom rode forward took her horse led it away to the far side of the grass platform behind the temple those ranks of rosy cloud in infinite perspective with spaces of and light between to the glowing glory of the sun the rim of which now touched the margin of the world they were as ranks of of blessed souls and united in a common act of adoration every form clothed by reflection of his glory every heart every thought upon god richard looked at all that but it failed to speak to him then he saw resolutely turn her back upon the glory she came directly towards him her face was very thin her manner very calm she laid her left hand on the peak of his saddle she looked him full in the eyes richard she said be patient a minute and listen it comes to this that a woman your equal in position of your own age and not without money does to share your work it s no forlorn hope she is not disappointed on the contrary she has and can have pretty well all the world s got to give only perhaps very for she doesn t know much about the matter having been rather cold blooded so far she has fallen in love there was a silence save that the wind came out of the west out of the majesty of the sunset and with it came the calling of the sea not only of the blue water or of those green tides that sweep above wandering mortals in the magic but of the sea of faith of the sea of love love human love divine love universal which circles not only this but all possible states of being all possible worlds io sir richard presently richard spoke hoarsely under his breath with whom he said with you went white to the lips he sat absolutely still for a little space his hands resting on his tell her to think he said at last she to do that which the world will condemn and rightly from its point of view it will her motives it won t spare disagreeable comment tell her to think tell tell her to look dwarf the last as he ought to be of an unlucky race a man who s carried up and down stairs like a baby who s to the saddle to the driving seat who is cut off from most forms of activity and of sport a man who will never have any sort of career who has given himself in of past sins to the service of human beings a degree more unfortunate than himself no no hear me out she must know it all a man who has lived far from who has evil memories and evil knowledge of life listen a man whom you yes you yourself have condemned bitterly from whom notwithstanding your splendid nerve and pluck so hateful is his you have shrunk a hundred times she has thought of all that answered calmly but she has thought of this too that going up and down the world to find the most excellent thing in it she has found this thing love and so to her richard your has come to be dearer than any other man s your wrong doings may god forgive dearer than any other man s virtue your virtues so wholly beautiful that that the tears came into her eyes her lips quivered she backed away a little from rider and horse richard she cried fiercely if you don t care for me if you don t want me be honourable tell me so straight out and let us have done with it i am strong enough i am man enough for that for heaven s sake don t take me out of pity i would never forgive you there s a good deal of us both one way | 32 |
and another and we should give each other a hell of a time if i was in love and you were not but she put her hand on the peak of that very ugly saddle again but if you do care here i am i have never failed anyone yet i will never fail you i am yours body and soul marry me she said the new heaven and new earth u chapter xi in which richard bids the reader farewell dusk had fallen drawing its soft dim mantle over the face of the land the white light td the northern sky from west to east a sang in the big laurel at the comer of the ground and was answered by another singer from the across the valley the stream that the long water a fox ly out in the fl ring upright straight on end through the warm air the of the night as they flitted hither and thither over the beds of and dog roses like gigantic on quick silent wings formed a continuous accompaniment as of a spinning wheel to the other sounds and dick laughed himself together now and again and holding his slim sides in effort to moderate his merriment he was in spirits back from school to day and that nearly a month earlier than could by the most favourable process of calculation have been anticipated thanks to development of on the part of some much to how he blessed those young and how he laughed watching the two half grown bull dog describe crazy circles upon the smooth turf in the deepening dusk seen thus in the half light they appeared more than ever like ugly and awkward they trod on their own ears tumbled over one another on the grass panting and grinning until their owner them to further to dick this was a night of had he not dined late had he not leave to sit up till ten o clock was he not going out bright and early tomorrow morning to see the horses galloped could life hold greater of good for a brave little ten year old soul and serviceable little ten year old body of all manly virtues and manly so the boy laughed and the sound of his laughter reached the ears both of the elder and the younger lady as they slowly paced the straight walk between the grey and the edge of the on their left the great of valley i sir richard and wood lay drowned in the of the summer night before them was the whole terrace front of the house its of twisted chimneys clear cut against the sky bright light shone out from the windows of the red and from those of the hall bringing flowers sections of grey pavement and like details into sharp relief there were passing lights in the range of windows above suggesting cheerful movement within the great house at the southern end of the terrace just below the of the garden hall which showed pale against the shadow within and above two men were sitting their voices reached the ladies now and then in quiet yet animated talk a spirit of peace of security of firmly planted hope seemed to all the scene all the place waking or sleeping fear was banished all was strong to work to morrow therefore to night all could calmly yield itself to rest and it was a sense of just this and a tender anxiety lest the fulness of the gracious content of it should be in any d to her dear companion which made say presently you don t mind little dick s with those ridiculous do you cousin if it you i ll stop him like a shot but shook her head my dearest child why stop him she said the of young creatures at play is delicious and laughter so long as it is not cruel i reckon among the good gifts of god she paused a moment dear de tried to teach me that long ago but i was dull of hearing in these days where spiritual truth was concerned and i failed to grasp her meaning i believe we never really love either man or almighty god until we can both laugh ourselves and let others laugh of all false doctrines that of the sour faced is the his mere outward aspect is a sin against the holy ghost and smiled patting the hand which lay on her arm very tenderly how i love your heavenly rage she said they moved on a few steps in silence then careless of all the rapture its of the passing of time might cut short the clock at the house stables the half hour paused in her gentle walk bed time dick she cried all right the boy returned he pursued and laid hold of the new heaven and new earth the them not without and on part one under either arm they were large and heavy just as much as he could carry and he staggered across the grass with them presenting the e of a small black donkey between a pair of very big white i say they are awfully though you know he said rather as he came up to her very soul satisfying aren t they dick she replied richard foresaw as much that is why he got them for you if i put them down do you suppose the follow carrying them does make my arms ache oh they ll follow fast enough said he lowered the on to the gravel they ll be when the r re grown he remarked what shall you call them adam and eve i think because they re the first of my lot they re dogs and later i may want to show don t you see yes i see said he came close to her putting his | 32 |
face up half to be kissed then as young lady somewhat ghostly in her trailing white evening dress bent her charming head the boy suddenly overcome with the manifold of the day flung his arms round her oh oh he gasped how awfully it is to be back here again with you and n richard and aunt i wish number four would get the middle of every term i only i forgot perhaps i ought not to touch you after about with the dogs do you mind not a bit she said but he rubbed his cool cheek against her bare neck i say don t you think you might come and see me just for a little while after i m in bed to night and young lady thus held the slight figure dose she had a very special place in her heart for this small dick who in face and as she hoped in nature also bore such comfortable resemblance to that elder and altogether dick who was the delight of her life yes dear old chap i ll come she said only it must really be for a little while because you must go to sleep by the way who s going to you these holidays or i sir richard oh neither the boy i think fm old for women now don t you know at which she laughed hb cheek being again tucked tight into the turn ci her neck i shall have in future i asked cousin richard about it he s a very civil fellow and he knows about and things and he says he likes up before five o clock does he young remarked but thereupon of joy demanding active the boy broke away with a and set off the away at his heels and young lady whom such giddy fancies still took at times notwithstanding nearly three of marriage flew after the the train of her dress floating out her to most extravagance of length as she along the path fair lady boy and dogs disappeared with sounds of merriment into the near garden hall reappeared upon the terrace bearing down but at pace upon the occupants of the chairs set at the end of it one man rose to his feet a tall narrow black figure the other remained seated the light shining forth from the great bay window of the hall touched the little group a certain grandeur upon the graceful white clad her satin dress as she moved there was as of old a triumph of high purity of freedom of soul in her aspect her voice came with a fine gladness yet soft richness of tone across that intervening space of sloping turf upon which terrace and ground alike looked down the who had fallen silent during the took up his passionate singing again and was answered delicately a song not of the flesh but of the spirit by the bird from across the valley stood solitary watching listening her hands folded rather high on her bosom the caressing of the summer night her and remembrance came to her of another night nearly four and thirty years ago when standing in this same spot she young ambitious of unlimited joys had felt the first mysterious pangs of and told her husband of that new unseen life which was at once his and her own and of yet another night when after long experience of sorrow solitude and revolt her husband had come to her once again but come even as the bird s song came from across the the same yet endowed with qualities of beauty and how that the new heaven and new earth strange and exquisite communion with the dead had fortified her to endure an even greater than any she had yet known she had prayed that night that she might behold the face of her well beloved and her prayer had been granted she had prayed that without she might be absorbed by and to the divine will and that prayer had as she humbly trusted been in great measure granted also but then the divine will had proved so very l the divine intention so wholly beneficent there was small credit in being to either bowed her head in the goodness of the almighty towards her had been abundant beyond asking or hope she was aroused from her gracious meditation by the sound of footsteps measured a little weary perhaps approaching her she looked up to see march and a point of gentle anxiety pricked for it occurred to her that had failed somewhat in health and in energy of late she reproached herself lest in the interest of watching those vigorous young lives so dear to her in their schemes in the sunshine of their love she had n and failed to care for his comfort as she might to those that have shall be even of sympathy even of strength in that there is an as well as an truth and she was to blame perhaps in the application of it it followed therefore that she greeted him now with a both of solicitude and of affection come and pace dear come and pace she said as in times past yet not wholly as in the past for then often i must have distressed and troubled you since my were too often the of restlessness and of passion while now broke off gazing at the little company gathered upon the terrace surely they are very happy she said almost involuntarily and he smiling at his dear lady s of escape firom her fixed idea replied yes very surely tied the white lace she wore a little beneath her chin in their happiness i renew that of my own youth she said gently as it is granted to few women i imagine to renew it but i renew it with | 32 |
and i have that boy he s a dear little chap and it is wonderfully good of uncle and mary to give him to me but he s getting a too fond of horses i can t break poor old s heart but when his days are numbered those of the as far as training goes are numbered likewise i think i ll keep on the farm but i grow doubtful about the rest i wish it wasn t so but so it is sport is changing hand s passing from those of romance into those of commerce well the stables served their turn they helped to bring me through but now perhaps they re a little out of the picture richard drew her hand nearer and kissed il leaning back in his and looking up at her and have you he said you most perfect of mothers and ah i here comes i a catalogue of books published by and company london street w c contents general ancient cities s books s books business books s bible s library classical commercial series s library library of devotion standard library half crown library illustrated pocket library of plain and coloured books junior examination series junior books leaders of religion a x ao ao ao ax ax ax ax aa aa a h a a little blue books little books on art s little s little guides a little library a miniature library oxford school examination of science social questions of to day of of westminster a fiction a the strand novels books for boys and girls n o of s books march a catalogue of messrs s are published of all messrs s novels at a price above ax and similar are published of some of general literature these are marked in the are only for circulation in the british colonies and india an that a book is in the press i p l represents illustrated pocket library s q s represents social questions series part i general literature jacob see little blue books j h m author of an in england being some an abroad second edition cr s a edition is also published m j see junior school books with coloured pictures royal a w p m a see and see classical see i p f w see l j p mr with portraits and illustrations vo js ni net a c l ni l edition is also madame her and her times with many portraits and illustrations second edition fo lor d net a edition is alexander william d d of thoughts and counsels of many years s d henry the national sports of great britain with descriptions in english and french with coloured plates royal five net the plates can be had separately in a s net see also i p l see little books on art f s a see s books b see little books on art lady a sketch of egyptian history from the earliest times to the pre sent day with many v lor ul net p m the story of thk british empire for children with many illustrations cr j q b a to university cr vo as exercises de cr is d bishop with notes by f e m a of house cr s after glow me w a edition is also the translated into by e w m a cr vo as d the with an and notes by john m a m r of greek at st issue lor el met r see little blue books h a sec oxford c m ss net t d a short history of english architecture with over illustrations es d net a of terms used ix english architecture js met t k m a f s a see and w h d rouse jane see little library standard library see books on business bacon francis see little library sad standard library general literature r s sa tub of a of life in illustrated third tu f a edition is also im b the campaign with nearly illustrations fourth edition large cr a is also published b got richard the lake of cr d net j c m a see baker w q m a see junior examination series baker l f f see books on business the life op robert louis second edition two au net a edition is also published s b see commercial series banks l the biography of a newspaper girl second edition cr r a edition is also published r h see little library the hon with the in third edition js d a edition is also published s the life of napoleon with over illustrations in the text and la plates gilt top large tiie tragedy of the with numerous illustrations from c etc fifth edition royal d net a book of fairy tales with numerous illustrations by a j second edition cr s old english fairy tales with numerous illustrations by f d second edition cr vo s a edition is also published the of edition with a portrait cr d a descriptive and historical sketch with plans and illustrations cr s the b x west illustrated vol i edition vol second edition cr s each a book of north wales cr s a book of south wales cr s a book of illustrated s a book of the illustrated cr r ff f s a u also the cr mi a k of ghosts with by d second tion cr s a edition is also published old country life with illustrations fifth edition large cr tv s a of country song english folk songs with their collected and arranged by s and h f s songs of the west folk songs of and collected from the mouths of the people m a and h m a new and edition the musical of | 32 |
two designs by net ll d f s a see little guides the s books and ancient cities b a see s q s see little library w a a of burns cr as d mrs see little library richard see little library p o see mary c cross j a a little book of religion w d net w king with a portrait cr y td bank a the loving lad of lord with ii plates cr is d net b see a l sir f h ba fellow of all souls college oxford the history of the war with many illustrations plans and portraits in j each a edition is also published h c b see s library b l d d see leaders of religion q w m a see leaders of religion on mary c and p q fathers in the faith d la di d the italian text by m a d cr s the of translated into prose by c m with the italian text f d net see also i little library and standard library see little library d r m a a new for cr as d see i library and little books on art the london with colour by john r y met e each volume may be vou i t a d z vol ii a d z to h w c m a fellow and of college author of england under the and maps and illustrations n net a j tv net a c see little library the cr ax the translated by holland cr at d against by f da swift m a as charles see little i p l poems cr x td net o l m a fellow of i college cambridge thk or view of life as td h n f r met illustrated ct lady see s q s see s li and little books on art h m a f s a the story of our towns with an d d second ea cr s old english customs the present time cr vo t see also half crown library w m m a a prime second edition o english poetry from second edition ct as d n h famous with portraits volumes net may songs of the r cr v y d net a volume of poems james the man in pulpit cr as d net j x d d lord bishop of see s library q see books general literature s r x d d d c l church professor of hebrew in the of oxford sermons on subjects connected with the old testament cr ts see also westminster dry see little guides a r see little books on art see books on j t d sc and v a general science with x illustrations edition cr v j t d a b x b sc see junior school books and of science the b ri of a report on canada with an note as d met w a a popular guide to medium d net the with coloured illustrations by frank south cr s see also little guides bishop of m or a piece of the world discovered post i im as net j b x r e d a q m g see w wood sees q s w see commercial series pierce l h b m a a history of british policy new and ts d net a edition is also published c a see the little guides p q see s j stone the history of the life of by c g m a cr s see w h d rouse a book called in latin en christians and in english the manual of the christian knight from the edition printed by de y d net h m a the of t h green edition cr d the garden of asia second edition cr s a edition is also published of the century with illustrations its d net or the life and opinions of a of ment with coloured plates post i mo ms d net see little library t m c e see books on business see standard library s w m a see junior examination series c h m a s army a history of the english soldier during the civil wars the and the cr vo s a w m a annals of school s d edward the of printed the fifth and last edition with a by mrs and a biography of by e d cr s see also miniature library h p a hand book of and wall shrubs vo v w h x m a d cl of the dean close school the students prayer book thb op and and with an introduction and notes cr as d a w m a dow of political economy in m university principles js d net mrs o x see little books on art david a modern or war and in the far east illustrated cr s a edition is also published j p round the world on a wheel with illustrations fourth edition cr e a edition u also published preach w x m a see of science von a short manual for the use of students translated by j r m a second cr as d h w x m a see s bible c a and p c q john bull s ad in the won by with j illustrations by f second edition cr is net d and stead d w thb complete with an account of the tour of the new in england with tv os d net w m see little guides bag see l mrs and library the right as a see s books messrs s catalogue i b f m a fellow of oi battles of his tory numerous plans fourth a new the south african war cr m a historical geography | 32 |
published s a messrs s catalogue english love poems with an h r h ha m a the ufe of sir thomas more with sm md m cr c s e of religion p aa a short history of js d mu brand a translated hj third bv js d w r x m a fellow and of college oxford christian the lectures for l m j t od mi see also library of i et tion a d m a a history of the british n india with maps and plans cr r england under the with maps o loi d mi c b x b a see of science s x m a see commercial series p see little guides jacob p x m a see junior i nation series j see s q s and business books d b s described and illustrated with coloured pictures royal m d b x m a reader of law in the university of oxford english local government cr vo s d mrs h see little books on art d d see leaders of p b x m a d of hall religion in cr ss d mi see s and of william ham and his friends illustrated d sir h h x k c b british central africa with illustrations and six maps third cr i a is also published jones r m a poems of the inner life selected by as d mt h x see series of divine hy cr m a cr s d mi com in war s net ben see standard library let youth but know a for in cr im td met m x see s q s j pa d d the and cr y the poems of with and notes by e da m a j to s d met see also little library standard library and e de the christian year and notes by w lock d d by r third m oe d me library of devotion k the imitation of christ with an by illustrated by c m third edition oe y td s also by c d d cr d see also library of and standard library the green cr s d net a edition is also published d d assistant in divinity in the university of st paul s and third to the with introduction and notes cr s j p through shot and flame the adventures and experiences of j d to general christian de wet cr a o edition is also published c w m a the try of life and health cr s d a w see e library first cr s a edition is also published the seven seas sim iu cr s a edition is also the five nations cr s a edition is also cr to x a edition b also published knight b the complete js d mt a edition is also general literature t ind the works of br k v u the life of su e v sen little a x see i uie see a history of middle ages fully cr i hm a brave of ud ii e v the of charles ud a ii a wanderer in holland of which law see or nd le th land of hj m c st in lu w english of by john i f i m u i ml v b m a cr bv i l mr a op garden shrubs ii fi see act see lock walter d d of st paul the cr sm ti e bible and christian life cf sm fir see leaden of and p v see h w see little letters from a self merchant to his son a edition ii old em a edition ii lover p i e v l and c day oc the i to fifth a l ii the open road a little for wa a book for i im id s tr l w m a sea s l a their work cr m m wear cr sm lord critical and his essays c m a cr the of book completely m j b b a m a see i j a see i a sh ft on m s see m see m a a cr n j p i d a history ok the egypt of the fully cr em f w ll d of laws o england in the of cambridge law in h m a english re a he of e c u a of a greek cr u m la messrs s catalogue m see j ba f r s fellow john i the study of scenery md edition cr f agricultural illustrated cr vo t see little sea life in son s time illustrated cr td net on the spanish main with portraits and td net a edition is also published a see s library a j x d d sec leaders of m the of plant life lower forms cr vo s d p see standard library c p o m a as a religious teacher cr x hon b p counsels of life is d net may the may sec nd edition io xx net s a short story of english literature cr tv y d a m s the tragedy of south africa cr s net also cr net a and enlarged edition of the author s peace or war in south africa england s ruin discussed in six to the right hon jo i h m p seventh edition cr vo net b b v the art and of with by g e lodge and other tv td j a the life and let of sir john president of the academy with many illustrations of which are in new edition js id | 32 |
net a edition is also published a p garden ing illustrated cr y net c t x m i le see of j m a a history of roman egypt illustrated thb poems both english and latin d st several by his true copies the were set m mr of die and of his m i rt private printed and d to order printed by for hum and are to be sold at the of the princes in i see also little library and r f h c m a see r m a outlines of edition cr f o e jane and her times with many and illustrations d net a edition is also published a see books d m x see uttle money l o rich poverty second es and net see c f pond h b see s q s q see books on business more sir thomas see standard library w r college oxford a history of russia from peter the great to alexander ii with maps and plans cr vo s d r j late of college see school examination series j the makers of with many portraits and d net a edition is also published j b see little guides miss see miss the year book for with many illustrations and j h c u d d lord bishop of ham see leaders of religion m m m a the of fire illustrated cr j t d v a m a see j t r ll d see s books naval officer a see i p l w a n hall j h and others see library of devotion j b b see uttle library t m a examination papers i cr v a see i p l le o sir walter scott illustrated jt ed general j m v great tb ud fall of par i d lu b a h l with it t a the of james r a and ward at sa s j ik a of ob r ind in tl with it ou w c x m a ef au war vol ii the lai r d d s of and of religion j h see l i of religion s on d to co on h reform cr ij id j v u d sea w h x d c l ll d of i college a or egypt k the to thk day folly n cr ol ii thb ki cr y w c ck the science of om i a d r j o mil t m a h a a k small lessons on great truths si i in sole or a garden of all sorts of plea flowers it mil or new for by s k id p l r life s tv w h notes of an east i coast la religion and conscience in ancient cr and egypt from the tell el cr u bi egyptian tales by cr e an art with i cr iv y d w a s my year a by i tr cr st up along and down along cr a ol with s s cr i school hu sex ud of middle messrs the n notes and by w if fellow of oxford i j ta aa king s e see school tion series a an cr t a edition is also modern two volumes dew c a history and a j le a modern cr a b also published see little books on art a w old picture books illustrated x tl net rd bum p see little books on art m a see books on c p a day book of mon by y d net cm c m a f l s a text book of agricultural illustrated edition cr power j the making of an orator cr w o a key to the time allusions in the divine comedy y d q see half crown library l about music and what it is made of cr t d net price u l m a fellow of college a history of english political economy fourth edition cr v s d a modern cr w and the of london or in with x illustrations in colour in three volumes small to ta t coach see half l see miniature library r and b s the cr a is also published r b m a see westminster b w x d d see library of devotion d w m a a student s history of scotland cr v d fellow new cr and see i p i a school story of cr mo d l w x sees q s w ba of ancient wood and iron work in etc royal and historic gloves and ancient shoes in colour and half tone a s net see little galleries w b a school history of cr te d m b see c c d d lord bishop of the lectures of d met c grant m a fellow of ao souls college oxford in the honours school of modem oxford x select cases and constitutional ments x o z a w d net c and j q x f r s e f r g s a his and modern of the british empire sir o s x k l see half crown library robinson a w x m a see s bible robinson the of with an tion by the late of cr d robinson p s see la see little o b a new testament greek a course for with a preface by lock d d of college y d ancient and their history and description illustrated net old oak furniture with many illustrations by the author a in colour b los d net a o l x m | 32 |
a see books on b s robert earl of oxford d this is the only of in see also little guides general literature r m edward the rose reader la b d d school w the life of admiral lord wood with hj f cr tb r a edition u also st s of st s at st s ol md feat m i st da s ol a to j ml t u m a annals of by hamlet and bj aid king tar w i caesar e led v m the tempest bj t t dream by h ends all s well that well op by k measure for measure by twelfth night by the or by c and by i messrs s catalogue fo a guard with plates r b d see little books on art h p ic see little books oa art d the new resort with over see md edition cr bv net small m a the earth an to r illustrated cr ar m o see little books on art b l adam the wealth of nations with an introduction and numerous notes by a v sir see also english library and see little library smith h m a a new junior si d smith r thoughts for the day by ca w x d net smith c see w smith john thomas a book for a rainy day or recollections of the events of the years x t by illustrated j net p j a book of illustrated cr s c e a handy of british history vo s d see classical l a see junior school books b x m a see junior school books r english by david han nay i edition cr ts vol ii richard and cr s see also standard library c h x m a see school examination series w a m a see leaders of religion the of illustrated six net j w x b d see of devotion do s and second s stead d w see d b a m ma m a ei k v first latin lessons ninth hon cr o s first latin reader with notes adapted to the latin and it d easy from the war i mm ix easy from the kings of rome on easy latin passages for unseen translation xx d first in latin w th third edition cr vo xx easy latin exercises on the of the shorter and latin tenth ro written cr xx a original edition ax d not the latin compound sentence rules and exercises second edition cr v xx d with ax miscellaneous i latin exercises on common rules and i fourth edition ix d with ax key ax net latin for arranged according to subjects edition xx d a of latin second edition xx to greek second edition xx a shorter greek cr xx d easy greek passages for unseen translation third edition vo xx d greek for re petition arranged according to subjects fourth edition e xx d greek testament for the use of schools with introduction notes and fourth edition ax d steps to french edition id first french lessons seventh cr xx easy french passages for un seen translation fi ih xx c general easy with fourth r b ai d for re petition according to subjects h u i also school series steel r m a f the world of science with edition cr a d see also school c of the and p of the college design for illustrated third edition j r li a the chief truths of the christian faith cr see little w m a annals of college illustrated ji d by water second edition cr s r u the letters of robert louis to his family and friends selected and by sixth cr library a not a edition is published letters aa by f h edition cr vo t a is the life of r l g m h from to the letters written by mis m i cr s net a also published letters from and arranged by m c with many cr m m see oxford ax b a hours with from the translation of sir t and p a with a portrait in cr d s j poems and hymns with a m by f g m a with portrait cr e p m a in y of in to the of formerly of university college oxford develop ment and purpose cr net p b see books oa business a w d d see a h xi sc a science the sports and of the people of england illustrated by many by j ll d f s a t s struggle for with a map cr r p staff to the drawing its principles end application with to examination questions x a x and with plates figures sir john a collection of all the written by and published a to his memory printed by his own copies printed for and are to be sold at his shop at the of the princes arms in st paul s churchyard u sec c tv s the journal to by g a cr j b x m a the second cr s d b m x m a m di cities n see little books with d f u notes map etc by il f mm a at german i a by the same e m classical w fi s and memories d not j x see of b l a history of t e in england air net a the elements of d net p q m a see commercial series l aa see oxford t m x m il fellow of and college cambridge a con and political history of rome cr vo d all the ei ly poems of with notes and an j m a cr x | 32 |
in and princess by i m a cr t also little a i messrs s catalogue see lights in a cr m y m see little p v x m a insect life second ed cr m s d a h x sec little guides m daily strength for daily needs it medium x m d ml an edition in r h f r h s see little guides r p a day book of milton vo y d met su mn my chinese note book with i and third d a edition is also published m a d in english literature x f d n t see also oxford wed and other poem cr q m fellow of cambridge england under the with maps and plans second edition td net q b see little guides e a b a f c s see junior school books see little books on art harry the complete illustrated seventh edition los td net a is also published henry see little library a t m a see junior tion series col l a ll d c b and its mysteries with a record of the expedition of with illustrations and maps o ix net also third and cheaper edition with illustrations and maps net w d d old testament history with maps third edition cr s see a l j c devils illustrated by the author and from photographs j d net see also s books h b see little books on art p w see victor g and cotton charles see i p l standard library and little library see also little p g v a with cr a is on thb of chiefly based on of da with aa by the rev dr la t o cr m alfred with the simple hearted little to women in places net library t m a tion papers in cr af sec also junior examination series w tj see books p c see vl see of j m a e oxford and oxford life third edition cr j d a short history of rome sixth edition with maps cr d see also little guides westminster b r brown the doings of arthur cr s d c the last of the great s x illustrated second edition he o s a o edition is also c see library l x m a fellow of college cambridge greek their and cr r q h m a see s bible the natural history of by l c f r s assisted by w m a cr oo t see also standard library b e see commercial series a w de c o l i g n y illustrated po i s d net r f i c of the science school west an text book of cr ax d miss sees q s w see john thomas a q k sc see books on see little books on art de edition cr net a edition is also general literature w ha b a see s q s j see s q s a peter or mirth for in colour by a w mills td tut m o see ancient cities the british gardener illustrated m lor w b a see junior examination series junior school books and s books lord the story of his life illustrated m t d a edition s also published b m makers of europe cr ff ik ed y d a text book of european history for middle forms the ancient world with maps and cr is d see also s books see library of devotion a j see books on business h a see books on business richard m a pas songs of nature church and home d s b j m a exercises in latin cr w ix d latin verse an aid to composition cr o d b c a d sc f r s see anti s books little guides and ancient m a b sc ll b see s library wood j a b see of wood j dan illustrated third n cr o s a c edition is also published wood w m a late scholar of oxford and j b x r e d a q m g a of the civil war in the united states with an introduction by h with maps and plans v lai d net see s books w the poems of with introduction and notes by c smith fellow of new college oxford in v net each see also little library w and s t see little library m a fellow of queen s college cambridge see s library c see j c x me ix net german for repetition d wrong m professor of history in the of the earl of illustrated o d ui a edition is also published and m a book of gardens with illustrations in colour r net a b modern with a map and a portrait x x net a also published the poems of william shakespeare with an introduction notes top f d see half crown library w b an of irish verse and edition cr s d the complete with fifth edition vo i s d net a edition u also m the american cotton industry a study of work and workers cr c te d paper te d what do we know concerning city ie d net cities general editor a c a d sc f r cr s d net by b c a d sc f r s illustrated by e h new by t m a f s a illustrated by j c ll d f s a illustrated by m g by t by e m a m d br e h new by alfred by e h new messrs s catalogue editor j charles ll d p s a a of volumes with various of a and popular as weu as and | 32 |
dim vo is d net and by r ll d op british saints by i c with d or y j c ll p f a lips by the right rev o b m of thb in by b iq a win d sc f r s with plans old books op ths by m a nd h with other by j f a with and is tu b j fu j by j il a by w a east by illustrated i easy english history by e m author of makers of europe cr w east in by w s beard b wi answers with m east and by w b a f m v u books on cr s d tut a of volumes with all the most important aspects of aad financial the volumes are intended to treat separately all tbe considerable and forms of business and to explain accurately ana what tbey do and they do it some je illustrated tbe first volumes and by oven by r ths stock by ths business op by a j the industry lighting and power by a g b sc the g industry its history science practice and by david m i n a the money market by f the business side op by a g l m a l w in business by h a the t iv by l r f ix f c the b by g h stone and by business of by g law trade by g by t m c e illustrated iron trade by j m bs and by f w the cotton industry mv by s j of the of commerce in the university of illustrated me coal industry by illustrated by j b bury m a a of pf by by en ij mid or af t m by f j d d aod s w d ai by and m net thb or c is by two r ths chronicle or by john is b bible the general editor j h burn b d f rs e a series of on the pf ie which b of service to the general reader in the practical and study of the u each book is provided with a fuu m clear section in which is stated what is known or respecting the date and occasion of the composition of the book an a y other that may as a whole the m divided into of a as far as possible with the divisions of the translation of the version is printed in full such as are deemed necessary bein placed in to v b thb a is ur son m a s a m by a w d d is d m or st to thb l by c m t it mi b editor j h thb op s li a cr ov by arthur m a cr tm thb kingdom op and by m a b sc ll b cr thb op thb t t its and aspects by d d second edition cr vo d i bv x tub op h w m a by w g d mi at not with map tub or st paul to thb e iu h w vl m a sm t ff mt the burn b d f r s e by f s mn p cr ml ship by j w p d r mm te thb s to thb old by a m cr x d thb c by t green li a r m s by j a cr s by h f m a fellow and of crown so a of firom and latin excellence as well as by u aj translated by select pro pro la t j ut by w e b m a de i translated by n de by p m a f d f m a a m messrs s catalogue classical l de by g b m a il the and translated l y a d m a as six me the cock the sup the tne lover of falsehood translated by s t a y d translated by d a r and translated by h b g d thb op by s g tl series by h ds b m a a series intended to assist students and young men preparing for a career l y supplying useful of a dear and practical dealing with those subjects which are absolutely essential in the life education in and by e m a an to s commercial series treating the question of commercial education fully from both the point of view of the teacher and of the parent and to victoria by h de b d m a third edition examination by h de b d m a is d ths op by h de b m a edition s a german commercial by s e with ax a of thb british empire by l w m a j edition m a op nations by f c boon b a m a op by s m a third m is d by f g m a fourth n js d french by s e third edition s german by s e with edition as d a french commercial by s e with second writing and by e e m a edition at a guide to and by h jones is d the book entry by j e b m m a at commercial law by w at s library the royal net a series of ao books on art written for illustrated in and colour the side of the art is duly treated the first volumes are by with plates in by edward with plates in colour ao in and in by heath with in colour b and | 32 |
pupils in lower forms simply written by teachers of experience a class b k op passages bv w b a edition cr ix td the gospel according to st by e south m a with three maps cr vo is d the gospel st mark by a e d d with three maps cr if d english grammar by w william son b a with numerous passages for and analysis and a chapter on essay writing third cr ai a junior by e a b a f c s with illustrations second edition cr at d the acts op the by a b d d cr ts a junior french grammar by l a and m j cr ax science by w t a r c s by a e sc with a plates and third edition cr ax d a junior by s with second edition cr x a junior and bj w t illustrated cr x d by a e b sc with plates and x cr vo ax a junior french prose by r r n baron m a cr tv ax the gospel according to st with an introduction and notes by william b a with three maps cr ax general v of by h c m a of westminster portraits cr aj a series of short of the most prominent leaders of religious life and thought of all ages and countries by r h by j h m a bishop by g w m a al bv a w m a by il c g d d by walter lock d d by mrs by r x d d second edition or by l d d william by w h m a third edition john t um edition by r f d d bishop by f a m a fox ths by t d cl third edition john by d d thomas by a j d d bishop by r m and a j m a bishop by w a m a little books the general editor e v s d a series of books for children the aim of the editor b to get entertaining ot exciting stories about normal children the moral of which is implied rather than thb op by t mrs s shop by a book op bad by w t thb lost by x thb op by thomas a thb book by jacob by e v thb air gun by t a school by thb at thb capital by little books on art with many l mo s d net a series of in miniature containing the complete outline of the subject under treatment and minute details these books are produced with the greatest care each volume consists of about pages and contains from to illustrations including a in h b edition e j n d edition george r d and a r f m g h p k mrs g fortune d edition mrs s a sharp aad a r j w christ in art mrs henry edward thb arts op edward mb s tke i s d ml a series of little books containing examples of the best work of the great each volume contains plates in together with a short outline of the life and work of the master to whom the is devoted a of a op a of a or a ot little guides the small xv d net leather x d net j wells sixth and its s bv m a illustrated by h ke edition and its b a nd n illustrated by e h new the country by b c a d sc f r s illustrated by k h new s country by b c a d sc f r s illustrated by h new second edition by f g m a illustrated by e h new westminster by g e illustrated by f d by w a illustrated by b c by a l salmon illustrated by b c illustrated by j by h w f r h s by e h new the english lakes by f g m a illustrated by e h new by g illustrated by f d bv c g by b c thb of by g by f d by f a h by e h new by b s by f d by w a illustrated by i by j c ll d f s a the north riding of by j e illustrated by r j s by j c illustrated by m e by f h with many illustrations by the author by frank r heath illustrated by w m by elizabeth by dry illustrated thb east riding of by j e illustrated by f g by e h new st paul s cathedral by george illustrated by little library the with notes and small each volume u d net leather s d net a series of small books under the above title containing some of the famous works in english and other in the of fiction poetry and the series also contains volumes of in prose and verse the books are with the most care each one contains an introduction whidi gives i a short biography of the author a a critical estimate of the book where they are necessary short notes are added at the foot of the page each volume has a and the books are produced with great care anon english a little book ok jane pride and by e v two abbey by e v bacon thb essays of lord bacon by edward general literature r h the legends by j b two p a a little book of english prose the history of the by e from william by m borrow by f two volume the by john robert from the early poems of robert by w hall m a george from the with george s additional poems by | 32 |
the essays of by h c george from george by a c mrs john gentleman by anne two richard the english poems of richard e ted by edward the of translated by h f by m a d the of by h f by m a d the of translated by h f by toy n bee m a d george from the poems of george by r a a c a little book of light verse charles christmas books two volumes marriage by a and lord two volumes the inheritance two volumes by e v second edition the scarlet letter by t p a little book of verse john poems with an introduction by ij and notes by j a w with an and notes second edition lamb charles a d the last essays of by e v p london by a d m a a of the first edition h w x from by l m marvel the poems of by milton john the minor poems of john milton by h c m a of westminster p m by t f j b b a little book of english la the of la by dean by g h smith and james rejected addresses by a d m a o a sentimental journey by h w alfred lord the early poems of alfred lord son by j in by h c m a the princess by elizabeth by elizabeth w m vanity fair by s three volumes s three volumes by s christmas books henry the poems of henry by edward the by j mrs alfred a little book of life and death by eighth edition w x from by c smith w and s t messrs s catalogue in miniature of a few interesting books whidi ha of devotion or genius a dialogue en by edward from the ed hy w in l aim tf as or and modem instances by edward from tlie edition by w in as thb op by edward from the edition of s third is ml tax or the at the year as net tax visions op don of tlie order of st james made by r i from the edition printed for h as met p by from the edition of as oxford each s d y el tut these are written by scholars of who combine and literary skill with the power of popular they are illustrated from material by m a d with la illustrations second by e l s h m a with illustrations second john by e c s d d bishop of with by a c m a with illustrations walter by i a with illustrations by e f h with la illustrations thk by c s with illustrations with robert burns by t f with la illustrations by a s m illustrations st francis op by m with x illustrations by w with xx illustrations by walter with la illustrations by h g with la illustrations by st with la school examination series by a m m m a cr s d french examination papers by a m m m a edition a key issued to and private students only to be had on application to the fi th edition crown s net latin examination papers by a m m m a edition key fourth issued as above s net greek examination by a m m m a key third im issued as above s net german examination by r j edition key third edition issued as above s net history and geography papers by c h m a second edition examination papers by r e steel m a f general papers by a m m fifth edition third as above net t rs in by j b a general literature of by g f b a b sc g r mills m a cr y practical by h d se h a cr tv v ii p t i bt w fr m a cr at iv w h a in bt c e b a cr u u bt a b sc cr t t h m a cr in i social of to hj h b d h a u f a of volumes upon topics ot social and at am foremost io tbe public mind n w and old by c th by r w m a r a an by h e m k j i s by di ke and tho f d by j a m a ll m r j railway by by w m a of f r a b sc and g r mills fully to make a by j a e wood cr i w by f c cr tt p cr b by clue ct by p id by h c wo k by a c of by r l d d of at oxford and of oxford the series is intended in part to tbe clergy and or of with representing tbe position of tbe questions dealt with io part to accessible to the reading public an and of and principles in all bearing on aad religion thi art d d by e c s gi by f b ai a d at id e bum d d i mr by alfred d d im id or f m a f of messrs s catalogue the general editor walter lock d d of college dean ireland s professor of in the university of the object of each is to interpret the author s meaning to the present generation the will not deal except very with questions of criticism or but taking the english text in the version as their basis th will try to combine a hearty of critical principles with loyalty to the faith the book or and notes by s r driver d d fourth w d the book of job | 32 |
by e c s d d second edition vo a the acts or the by r b m a second and cheaper edition d the first or to the by h l m a r the of st with introduction and notes by r j m a f part ii fiction b maria and one other fourth edition cr vo s the blunder of an innocent second edition cr o s capricious second edition cr vn s love and second edition cr s peter a cr s the brown eyes of mary third edition cr s p author of vice a from illustrated by third edition cr d b h blessed third edition cr s richard a roman mystery third edition cr s the fourth ed cr s s fi edition cr s fifth edition cr in the roar of the sea edition cr s cheap jack fourth edition cr s of third edition cr s the queen of love fi th edition cr s third edition cr s alone fifth edition cr s no mi fourth edition cr s the squire illustrated fi ik cr m s seventh cr s the third edition cr po t the illustrated second edition cr e illustrated sec d edition cr s the priest cr s illustrated second edition cr s royal illustrated cr miss illustrated cr x of all sorts cr t j in edition cr s little tu penny a edition d see also strand novels and books for boys and girls jane the land of the x k cr s see also strand novels robert in the midst of third edition cr t the many third cr s the third edition cr s the lady second edition cr s the illustrated third edition cr s see also strand novels and s the adventures of sir john cr t burden merchant with by g k second cr s fiction b e p fourth cr f w x see also strand novels subject to vanity cr vo jt u c v j the year one a of the french illustrated cr a the of cr w s a name cr s see also strand novels c author of the lake of wine the extraordinary con j e cr vo s a of italy ed cr and fishes cr w f the tragedy of the great cr ev s the mystery of a nd cr s see also strand novels h a free lance of to day cr o mrs w k see strand novels and books for boys and girls a change of face cr s a romance of two worlds cr s cr v s thirty third edition cr s the story of a dead self edition cr s the soul of edition cr s edition cr s a dream of the worlds tragedy hon cr v s the sorrows of satan edition cr s the master christian x m cr vo s power a study in cr tv s god s good man a simple love story cr s the mighty a now edition cr s boy a now edition cr s jane a new cr s s r author of the etc illustrated third edition cr vo s the standard bearer cr oo s b m the old ment cr w t edition cr s the happy valley third edition cr o s a nine days wonder third cr s of the sixth edition cr s angel fourth edition cr s a state secret third cr no s d the cr s a j daniel cr s d a author of the white company etc round the red lamp ninth edition cr s mrs those delightful americans cr s see also strand novels j ha the green graves of fi ih edition cr s see also strand novels mary a narrow way third edition cr s the rose of joy third edition cr s see also strand novels k the at second edition cr s more kin than kind cr s j s the cr s mrs author of the stolen emperor the of the sword cr s the shadow of the lord cr s mrs x author of the cr s author of lady baby the conquest of london second edition cr s holy matrimony second edition cr s made of money cr s the bridge of life cr s the improbable third edition cr s see also strand novels the tower cr dr author of in of etc the town second ed cr s the crown of life cr s charles s illustrated cr d in varying moods edition cr bv e messrs s catalogue the scholar s daughter third edition cr vo t p the of the brute cr v s q patience dean cr v f robert the prophet of square n cr s tongues of conscience cr v s m cr s the woman with the fan h cr f cr v the garden of ia cr s the black cr s john author of robert orange the serious cr v s hope the god in the car t cr vo s a change of air edition cr tf s a man of mark fifth edition cr oo s the of count an ton sixth edition cr s illustrated by h r sixth edition cr s illustrated cr s the king s mirror fourth edition cr s fourth edition cr s he cr s a servant of the public illustrated fourth edition cr s hope author of a cardinal and his conscience etc etc the lady of second ed cr s the illustrated cr s the life of cr s c j author of kettle mr third edition cr s w w many twenty eighth edition cr x d sea twelfth edition cr d a master of craft illustrated sixth edition cr y d light illustrated fifth edition cr d james the soft side second edition cr s the better | 32 |
sort cr s the second edition cr s ths k bowl s s cr c h a he that bread with me cr t v and c the valley of in cr f hen with in ireland cr v s see also strand novels harry author of when the children of the bush cr s the of westminster third cr the closed book third m cr s the valley of the shadow illustrated third edition cr vo ts behind the throne third cr s s second edition cr s j co author of the darling of the gods madame butterfly cr bv s d sixty jane cr s the of the ok cr s and cr x d m author of if i were king the lady of loyalty house illustrated third edition cr s the second edition cr tv fit the sea maid cr s s the fortune of third edition cr s colonel wife fourth edition cr s a counsel of edition cr s the wages of sin edition cr s the fourth edition cr s the barrier fourth edition cr s the history of sir richard seventh edition cr vo s see also books for boys and girls mrs m b s summer second edition cr s a lost estate a new edition cr s the parish of cr s the parish nurse f cr no s fiction ma s jane cr c s mrs peter cr s a winter s tale a edition cr s one another s burdens a edition cr f rose at second ed cr s also books for boys and girls author of the column cr s marsh richard the edition cr s a cr vo s the of second edition cr vo s see also strand novels a b w author of the four feathers etc i edition cr s author of c the honey cr w t of cr s the second edition cr s w b author of the ragged messenger seventh edition cr s the ragged messenger edition cr s fancies cr s l t drift second edition cr s cr s victory cr s see also books for girls and boys heart of my heart cr tv x miss the author of the great cr s the sign of the spider illustrated edition cr s d in the whirl of the rising third edition cr s the red second edition cr vo s p p author of into the and hedges the alien third edition cr s arthur tales of mean streets sixth edition cr s edition to london town second cr oo s cunning cr vo s ths hole in the wall cr s s divers ter b mrs r l the red house illustrated edition cr s see also strand novels w e the credit of the county illustrated second edition cr s the embarrassing orphan cr s s cr s of second edition cr s see also strand novels alfred bob the grey dog of ei h edition cr s b master of men third edition cr s john author of of grand a of d edition cr s the gate of the desert fourth edition cr s three cr oo is third edition cr s and his people sixth edition mrs fi th edition cr the translation of a savage second edition cr s the trail of the sword ninth edition cr s when came to the story of a lost fi ih cr s an adventurer of the north the last of pretty third edition cr s the seats of the mighty illustrated edition cr vo e the battle of the strong a romance of two illustrated fi ih edition cr s the pomp of the second edition cr y d the footsteps of a throne illustrated third edition cr s i crown thee king with illustrations by frank and a cr s lying cr s children of the mist f edition cr s the human boy with a edition cr s sons of the morning cr tm t messrs s catalogue l third edition cr the american prisoner cr vm t the secret woman knock at a venture with a third cr tv the third cr of sec o the fifth cr ho s second cr b s q author of dead man s rock the white wolf m cr m s the mayor of h cr s the of edition cr s the prince of cr and another the di village illustrated by cr m s ridge w lost property second edition cr second edition cr o s a son of the state a new edition cr j d a of laws a new edition cr v d mrs s business illustrated second edition cr secretary to m p cr y d david a the truth ful liar cr s c d the heart of the ancient wood cr s d w my sweetheart illustrated fi th edition cr s his island princess illustrated second edition cr s abandoned cr s see also books for boys and girls s cr s the progress of cr s the mystery of the moat second edition cr s mrs s husband cr vo s the coming of the cr t see also strand novels w p the mess deck a x d also strand ts i deep sea u of c a in com cr s by a lake cr e the song of the forest cr c see novels e c the ancient land mark a romance cr s h b and excursions cr ml captain fortune th d twisted with s by third edition cr s the high with a f i u c second cr mb c see also strand h o x the sea lady cr s author of a of france under the red robe with illustrations by r c nineteenth edition cr x white b author of | 32 |
h of flat dingy violet cloud opening on smoky rose red of london sunset all day thunder had threatened but had not broken and even yet the face of heaven seemed less peaceful than a holding it as of troops in retreat denied satisfaction of imminent battle otherwise the outlook was wholly pacific one of middle class security the green is bottle shaped the neck of it into a crowded westward while lodge from the first floor windows of which mr contemplated the of night being in the left shoulder so to speak of the bottle commanded an view of the whole extent of it who was how he came by a green and why or what he trimmed on it it is idle at this time of day to attempt to determine whether animated by a desire for the public welfare he it in high charitable sort or whether fame taking a less turn j the far horizon with him he just simply was hanged there has afforded matter of heated to the curious in questions of and but in this case as in so many other and more august ones the defy discovery suffice it therefore that the name remains as does the open space the latter forming one of those minor lungs of london which offer such amiable in the great city s less aristocratic districts formerly the green boasted a row of fine elms and was looked on by handsome century and set in spacious gardens but of these the great majority lodge being a happy exception has vanished under the hand of the early who in their stead has erected full of the common to his age and taste dignity has very sensibly given place to nevertheless the timid red or sickly yellow grey brick of the existing houses is veiled by ivy and virginia while no shop front suggestion of trade the local authorities moreover some ten years back the green with healthy young and plane trees and enclosed the grass with iron to rescue it from into thus doing a well if somewhat best to the theatre of long ago s or from greater hence it follows that certain inherent admitted the scene upon which eyes rested was not without elements of attraction and of this fact being a person of an excellent of expectation he was gratefully aware his surroundings indeed constituted so it appeared to him the of comfort and advantage which could be expected by the far horizon a middle aged gentleman of moderate fortune ra the capacity of a paying guest not only in word but in thought for in acknowledgment of obligation he was courteous he frequently thanks to his neighbour and old school fellow mr george first for calling his attention to mrs s and subsequently for him as to its import for though incapable of forming so much as a thought to her mr was not without a quiet sense of humour or of that instinct of self protection common to even the most of mankind he was therefore perfectly sensible that the widow of a officer who describes herself in print as bright musical and thoroughly while offering a cheerful and refined home at the west end within three minutes of and noble dining and rooms bath h and c thrown in to unmarried members of the stronger sex must of necessity be a lady whose close acquaintance it would be to make without a trifle of preliminary happily not only george but his wife was at hand the latter hastened to inquiries beginning with a visit to the of the parish the rev he reported mrs an evening at the greater and a not to adding that a former had resided under her roof with perfect mrs terminated her by an interview with the who assured her that lodge always took the best cuts sternly refused fish or poultry which had suffered cold and paid its without fail before noon on thursday she ascertained further from a source between clergyman and i the far horizon that mrs s husband some time surgeon of a crack regiment had died in the of rather than in that of leaving his widow in addition to his numerous and heavy debts but a of the comfortable fortune to procure the enjoyment of which he had so married her the solid mansion was her and it was to secure sufficient means for continued residence in it that the poor lady started a boarding house or in the language of the present day had decided to receive paying guests encouraged by the satisfactory nature of the above information mr shortly after his mother s death now nearly eight years ago had become a member of mrs s household he had never so far had reason to regret that step and it was with a consciousness of well being and repose that he returned daily after hours of work in the well known city house of messrs barking brothers barking to this square first floor sitting room to its dimly white and painted walls its nice details of carved work in chimney piece and ceiling and the outlook from its tall narrow windows a touch of old world in its aspect satisfied his latent pride of race to certain natures not obscurity or slender means but the vulgarity which in english speaking countries too often goes along with these the burden and the offence to night however things were different material objects remained the same but the conditions of existence had taken on a strange appearance and with that appearance was bound to reckon being uncertain as yet whether it was destined to prove that of a friend or of an enemy in of such reckoning he had declined dining at the public table in company with his hostess miss her devoted friend and com the | 32 |
par horizon and the three gentlemen mr de mr and mr who shared with him the of lodge he had dined here upstairs solitary and the german had just finished clearing the table and departed usually under such circumstances would have taken a favourite book from the carved spanish mahogany containing his small library and reading again that which he had often read before would have found therein the satisfaction of friendship along with the soothing influences of familiarity but to night neither s rome a handsome early edition in many volumes the travels of s s war john mill s logic s poems nor those of nor of that so called of nature de not even the dear and immortal don himself served to attract him his own thoughts his own life filled his whole horizon leaving no space for the thoughts or lives of others he found himself a prey to a certain mental a bewildering activity of vision more than once before in the course of his laborious monotonous and as men go very virtuous life had this same thing happened to him the tides of the obvious and accustomed suddenly receding and leaving him as on some barren sand bank uncertain whether the ship of his individual fate would lie there wind swept and sun till rusty fell out and parted the ribs of her in or whether the kindly tide rising would float her off into blue water and she would sail once again it was inevitable that this present experience should recall these other memories enough the first time the ship of his fate thus was when as a lad of seventeen he left school living the far horizon alone with his mother in a quaint little house in street eagerly ambitious to make his way in the world and to obtain it had dawned on him that there was something strange unhappy and not as it was wont to be with that to him most beautiful and beloved of women the mere suspicion was as a against which his young loyalty for with the inherent of his latin and blood had none of that contemptuous superiority in regard of his near relations so common to male creatures of the persuasion and saxon race he took his parents quite seriously it never having occurred to him that fathers and mothers are given us merely for purposes of discipline or as like examples of what to avoid he was simple minded enough indeed to regard them as sacred altogether beyond the bounds of legitimate criticism and this as destiny would have it with intimate and life long results vaguely through the mists of infancy he could remember a hurried after sound of cannon and sight of blood f rom spain the fierce and pious country of his birth since then while his mother lived namely till he was a man of over forty always and only the house in the side street with its crooked creaking its high behind which and its clinging of ancient its low and floors at the back of it was a narrow strip of garden glorious for one brief week in early summer with the gold of a big and fragrant later thanks to faithful effort on the part of the white clothing its walls in fair weather the morning sun lay warm there while the sky showed all the overhead for the dark lines of the adjacent and in the matter of and chimney the far horizon pots frequented by cats in the centre a of gas and chalk surmounted by a column bearing a stone basin in which after rain themselves with much conversation and fluttering of wings the garden was to little a place of wonder and delight he peopled it with beings of his own fancy lovely or terrific according to his passing humour granted a measure of imagination the solitary child is often the happiest child since the social element with its inevitable is absent and the dear spirit of romance is by vulgar comment his father grave and whose after long periods of absence had in them an effect of secrecy and haste was to the small boy a being august but remote during his brief at home the quiet house awoke to greater fulness of life with much coming and going of other grave personages strange of dress and with a certain effect of hardly restrained violence in their aspect a spirit of fear seemed to enter with them demanding an unnatural darkening of windows and closing of doors before they were of few words but became eloquent enough in foreign speech as his ears when he was banished from their rather electric presence to the solitude of the nursery above and so it came about that a sense of mystery of large issues of things at once strong and hidden impenetrable to his understanding and concerning which no questions might be asked encircled s childhood and passed into the very fabric of his thought while through it all his mother moved to him tender and wholly exquisite but with the of some deep seated enthusiasm silently cherished some far reaching alarm silently endured always upon her and this resulted in an atmosphere of seriousness and responsibility which inevitably the far horizon on the boy making him sober beyond his years his natural vivacity with and even his in a minor key only many years later when after his mother s death it became his duty to read letters exchanged between his parents during this period did touch the key to the riddle and fully measure the public danger the private strain and stress which had surrounded his childhood and early youth for his father a man of far from nature but of narrow outlook and was deeply involved in of the most advanced a victim of that | 32 |
false passion of humanity which takes its rise not in honest desire for the welfare of mankind but in blind rebellion against all forms of authority his self confidence was colossal all rule being abominable to him save his own all rulers hideous save himself the rightly understood is merely the the tyrant turned inside out and this man as gathered from the perusal of those old letters to whom the end so justified the means that red handed crime took on the fair colours of virtue his mother had loved even while she feared him with all the and pure passion of her irish blood pathetic combination the patience and resignation of the one ever striving to temper the flaming zeal of the other as though the of the atlantic sweeping inland from the dim sadness of far western should strive with of on some high lying walled city of arid central spain mist is but a weak thing as against rock and fire and what his mother must have suffered in moral and spiritual conflict let alone all question of active dread was to her son almost too cruel to contemplate although it explained and justified much the far horizon in i when was a of fourteen his father left home on one of those sudden journeys the object and of which were alike concealed for about a year letters arrived at irregular intervals from paris and finally then followed silence broken only by conveyed by a former associate one an an faced long haired creature inspired by an impassioned enthusiasm for infernal machines and slaughter in theory and in practice by a gentle devotion to mrs and young he would arrive depressed and shadowy in the shadowy but once in the presence of the beings whom he loved he became his belief was unlimited in the head centre the chief in his power and of resource that any evil should befall him snapped his thin fingers while with the of the bom he proceeded to state hopeful conjecture as established fact thereby doing homage to the spirit of delusion which so ruled him even to his inmost thought but a spell of cold weather in the winter of s struck a little too through s overcoat causing that tender hearted of society to cough his life out with all possible despatch in the third floor back of a filthy lodging house off court road this was the end as far as information went whether or but his horizon still bounded by the world of school greedy of distinction both in learning and in games away all day and eagerly if somewhat busy over the preparation of lessons at night was very far from that poor kind eyed he mourned with all his heart yet the months of his father s absence accumulated into i the far horizon years almost unnoticed the same thing had so often happened before and then at an for moment the wanderer had returned moreover the old habit of obedience was still strong in him it was understood that concerning his father s occupations and movements no comment might be made no questions might be asked meanwhile the small house in holland street was ever more still more as he grew older became sensible of this sensible of a sort of hush falling on him as he crossed the threshold so that instinctively he left much of his wholesome young outside while his voice took on softer tones in speech and his quick light footsteps became more noiseless as he ran up the little crooked stairs when your father comes home we must decide what profession you shall follow my it had been his mother s habit to declare but even before the time for such decision arrived the boy had begun to understand he must see to all that for his mother was ill how deeply and in what manner he could not tell he shrank indeed from all clear thought let alone speech on the subject as from something in a way her beauty remained to her notwithstanding a gradual wasting as of fever a peculiar very individual grace of dress and of bearing remained to her likewise but she was uncertain in mood the victim of strange fancies a being almost far removed from the interests of ordinary life long ago in submission to her husband s anti prejudices she had ceased to practise her religion so that the services of the church no longer called her forth in beneficent routine of sacred obligation now she never left the house living since poor s death in complete seclusion little wonder then that a hush fell on the far horizon crossing the threshold since so doing he passed from the world of healthy action to that of sickness from vigorous hoarse realities to the sadness of dreams the effect was one of rather haunting melancholy and it was characteristic of the lad that he did not resent it though rejoicing in the reputation at school of being high spirited enough impatient of restraint or of any of purpose his mother had always been sacred she remained so even though her sympathies had become imperfect and she moved in regions which his sane young imagination failed to penetrate one thing was perfectly plain to him though it cut at the root of ambition namely that he could not leave her so in that matter of a profession he must find work which would permit of his continuing i to live at home and since her income was narrow the j work in question must make no heavy demand in respect j of preliminary expense here was a problem more easy of statement than of solution in face of s pride and the singular of his position there followed i dreary months wherein his evenings were spent in studying and and his days till late afternoon in | 32 |
walking the town from end to end for the of possible and the keeping of fruitless he would set forth full of hope and courage in the morning only to return full of the of failure at night and it was then j london began to reveal herself to him in her under the cloud of blue coal smoke it was winter i time which at once hanging over and penetrating her j adds the majesty of mystery to the majesty of mere size he noted how in the chill london grew strangely and alive lamps sprang into clearness along the a dazzling glitter of the far horizon shop windows marked the great while often the angry glare of a fire along the sky line when night comes in the country so told himself the land sinks into peaceful repose but in cities it is otherwise there the light leaves heaven for earth and walks the streets with much else far from celestial until the small hours move towards the dawn and in the of day never before had he seen london thus and understood it in all its enormous variety yet as a a whole how much he actually beheld with his bodily eyes how much through the working of a rather exalted condition of imagination induced by loneliness and bodily fatigue he could never subsequently determine but the great city presented herself to him in the guise of some prodigious living creature breathing feeding suffering above all and breeding terrible in her power and age old yet still presented herself to him as horribly ever her own limits sending forth her children year after year all the wide world over by shipping or by rail receiving some of them back proud with accomplished fortune to her glory or disgraced and broken homeward to the cover of her fog and darkness merely to swell the numbers of the nameless who rot and die he thought of those others too and this touched his young with a quick shudder of personal fear whom she never sends forth at all but holds close in bondage all their lives long to her countless and tyrant by their own poverty or by their misfortune and sins was it thus she was going to deal with him was he to be among the great city s through the coming years better acquainted with the very earthly light which walks her streets by night than with the the far horizon heavenly light which the sweet face of day in the open country and upon the open sea and for a moment the boy s heart hungry for pleasure hungry for wide experience hungry even for knowledge of those which as he was beginning to understand had surrounded his childhood and as he was beginning to had cost his mother her reason and his father both liberty and life thus did the ship of poor s fate appear to be or ever it had fairly set sail at all meanwhile if london claimed him she did so in very cynical fashion mocking his to labour refusing to feed him even while she refused to let him go everything he feared was against him his youth his foreign name his limited acquaintance the impossibility of giving definite information regarding his father s past occupations or present whereabouts moreover his spare young figure his thin hands and feet his irish eyes and black hair his energetic face his ready yet speech all these marked him as unusual and and for the unusual and the british employer of labour of whatever sort has it must be but little use he is half afraid half contemptuous of it instinctively anything more alert and alive than his own most stolid self but while men the distinctness of his personality and his good looks refused to give i work women them were only too ready to give him enjoyment of a kind the boy in those solitary wanderings ran the of many temptations and was presented did he care to accept it with the freedom of the city on very liberal lines happily inherent cleanliness of nature saved him from much and shame at the thought of entering the hushed and silent house where his mother lived amid pathetic memories the far horizon and delicate dreams with the soil of upon him saved him from more crime might have come close to him in his childhood but vice never and the influences of vice are far more and consequently more than those of crime still one way and another the boy came very near touching the of despair then the tide rose and the ship of his fate began to lift a little by means of a series of accidents the illness of his former school fellow the already mentioned whose post he offered temporarily to fill he drifted into connection with the house of messrs barking brothers barking there his knowledge of modern languages his industry and a certain discreet commended him to his a minor fell vacant it was ofi to him and from for the monotony of fixed routine and steady labour until the day when as a man of past fifty restless and somewhat both of the present and the future he watched the dying of the sullen sunset over s green from the windows of the first floor sitting room of lodge chapter n that which had in point of fact happened was not as felt without a pretty sharp edge of irony for to day london so long his task mistress and had assumed a new attitude towards him suddenly unexpectedly she had cast him off given him his freedom it was amazing a thing to take your breath away for the moment and agitated and hurt for his pride unquestionably had suffered in the process asked himself | 32 |
pause a moment for i must guard myself against in the interests of both public and private morality i am a advocate of marriage again he cleared his throat the platform was conspicuous by its presence in idea i hold matrimony to be among the duties nay to be the duty of the christian and the citizen we owe it to the race we owe it to ourselves we owe it to the opposite sex let us be the far horizon quite clear on this point yet since i all i admit that there may be exceptional cases in which absence of the relation though arguing some may prove advantageous to the individual a queer light had come into eyes the corners of his mouth worked a little he stood quite still and erect i do not deny this sir continued i repeat i do not deny it and yours my good friend may be i am prepared to acknowledge a case in point i take for granted by the way that you have saved since your salary has been a liberal one inclined liis head clearly we need discuss this matter no further then the speaker became impressive indeed it appears to me that your lot is a most favoured one you are free of all you can retire in comfort retire moreover with the assurance that your departure will cause no inconvenience to myself and my since you make room for men younger and more in touch with modern methods than yourself mr permitted himself to smile ah yes he said possibly i had not taken that fact sufficiently into account yet clearly it should your satisfaction sir barking observed with a touch of severity and by the by you can draw your you were entitled strictly speaking to do so some years ago four i believe to be accurate this was pointed out to you at the time by my nephew he was not at all unwilling that you should retire then but you preferred to remain i had some conversation at the time with my nephew on the subject i insisted upon the fact that your service had been i finally succeeded the far horizon im his objection to your retaining your post i am evidently under a heavy obligation to you sir said don t mention it don t mention it the great man answered nobly those in power should try to exercise it to the benefit of their it has always been my effort not only to be just but to be considerate of the interests and feelings of persons in my employment and with that he again fixed his eyes upon the portrait the opposite wall wholly blind to the fact that it at once revealed his weaknesses and at them conscious only of an agreeable conviction that he had treated his head clerk with generosity and spoken to him with the utmost good feeling and tact with the proud it is ever a question whether to spoil the or to fling back even the best earned wages by full in the said face for the firm of barking brothers barking in the abstract had the loyalty of long established habit it had been as the rising tide setting the ship of his fate and fortune afloat in the dismal days of that early its service had eaten up the best years of his life it is true but even in so doing by mere force of constant association the rests of the great house had come to be his own its schemes and secrets his excitement its his satisfaction fortunately the human mind is so constituted that it is possible to have an esteem to enthusiasm for a body while entertaining but scanty admiration for the individuals of whom that body is com posed fortunately indeed since otherwise what government or sacred would long continue to hence to this matter of the was decidedly difficult pride said this man barking has been offensive both he and his the far horizon nephew have been ungrateful reject it with contempt justice said you have no quarrel with the firm as a whole accept it common sense pricked up by anger said claim your own take every brass of it while personal dignity winding up the case by no means give yourself away make no impetuous demonstration go home and think it quietly over and with the advice of personal dignity mr fell in yet he was still very sore the heat of anger past but the smart of it remaining when he back from the city later in the day and not only that after smart but a perplexity held him for two strange faces had looked into his during the last few hours those of loneliness and freedom he had taken for granted in a general sort of way that such personages existed and exercised a certain in human affairs but in all the course of his laborious life they had never before come close personally claiming him he had had no time for them but they are patient they only wait they had time for him plenty of it suddenly he understood that and it perplexed him for his estimate of his own importance was modest he even felt towards them as one at whose door distinguished guests alight for whose entertainment he has made no adequate provision he was embarrassed his sense of hospitality him it so happened that on this same return journey he occupied the seat on the right immediately behind that of the driver the sky was covered the atmosphere close the horses grey ones showed a thick where the collar rubbed their necks and the traces their they were slack and heavy and the the within it was empty and on the top boasted but three passengers besides himself it the far horizon followed that carrying of the great | 32 |
red painted vehicle and jerked and swayed uneasily while the lighter traffic swept past it in a glittering stream the dominant note of which was black as against the dirty of the recently watered wood and the character of that traffic was new to though he had travelled the road high street and and back and forth daily these many years for the of business demanding that the hours of his should be early and late always the same it came about that the aspect of these actually so familiar was novel as beheld in the height of the season at three o clock in the afternoon at first saw without seeing busy with his own thoughts but after a while he began to idly on the scene around him turning to the outward and material for distraction if not for actual comfort and so the stream of carriages and and the well favoured human beings occupying them began to his attention he questioned whom they might be and whither forth in such brave array they seemed to suggest something from yet native to his experience something he had never touched in fact yet the right to which was resident in his blood and with this he ceased in instinct to be merely the highly respected and respectable head clerk of messrs barking brothers barking now and laid on the shelf a life quick with of sound and vivid colour the excitement of it heightened by clear shining southern and blue black shadow a life of by conventional slow moving rather vulgar middle class london to which on the face of it he appeared as emphatically to belong awoke and cried in the far horizon it was a surprising little experience causing him to up his lean yet figure while the burden of his years and the long monotony of them seemed strangely lifted off him then with the air of reserve at once the joke and envy of the younger clerks which had earned him the of the old he leaned forward and addressed the driver the latter a broad moist and sleepy countenance at he answered in a voice by dust and the laying of that dust by strong waters club team plays and first the words had been to the pretty much as phrases from the of an unknown but it was disposition not to be angry with that which he did not happen to understand so much as angry with himself for not understanding it only an additional proof were it needed of the prodigious extent of my ignorance he reflected in humorous self contempt his eyes dwelt somewhat wistfully on the glittering stream of traffic once again those two guests loneliness and freedom for whose entertainment he had made inadequate provision sitting as it seemed very close on either side of him then that happened which altered all the suddenly saw a person whom he knew he had seen that same person about three hours previously in the bank in street while waiting for to sir s private room rumour this handsome young gentleman sir s youngest son with tastes expensive rather than profitable liberal rather than declaring him to be distinctly of the nature of the thorn in the banker s otherwise very prosperous side he had so said the fortune or misfortune as you chose to take it of being at once a considerably bad boy i the far horizon and a distinctly charming one be all that as it might the young man had certainly presented a grimly anxious countenance when without so much as a nod of recognition he had stalked past mr in the dim light of the glass and walled corridor but now as the latter noted his expression had changed and that very much for the better the young man s face was flushed and eager and his teeth showed white and even under his brown moustache if anxieties still pursued him they were in to one main anxiety the anxiety to please which of all anxieties is the most engaging and grace just then the traffic was held up thus from his perch on the to receive a more than fleeting impression two ladies were seated opposite the young man in the carriage in them recognised persons of very secure social standing the elder he supposed to be lady barking s half sister to whom on the occasion of her marriage twelve or thirteen years ago he had had the expensive honour of presenting in his own name and that of his a costly gift of plate the other lady so it appeared to him was eminently sweet to look upon she was very young she leaned a little forward and in the pose of her delicate figure and the carriage of her pretty head under its burden of pale pink and grey feathers flowers and lace he detected further example of that engaging anxiety to please they made a delightful young couple the fair seeming of this life and riches of it very much on their side mr heart went out to them in silent sympathy and while the block being over his gaze continued to follow them as long as the young girl s slender white clad back and the young man s flushed and eager face remained then he started for he was aware that his the far horizon companions had received unexpected a third guest had arrived and looked hard and at him it s name was old age and he found something in its glance with all his gentleness of soul all his innate self restraint there remained fighting blood in therefore for the moment with whom he had to deal a light anything but mild visited his eyes and a the straight lines of his chin and lips old age is a sinister even to | 32 |
those who are moderate in demand and clean of life for it gives to drink of the cup not of pleasure but merely of patience of physical loss and intellectual humiliation and once it has laid its spell upon you you are past all remedy save the supreme remedy of death and so at first sight as do all men turning defiant then being very sane he gave in to the logic of fact silently yet with all courtesy he acknowledged the and bade it be seated along with the rest while after brief pause to rally his pride and that courage which is the noblest attribute of pride he turned to things and material once more finally addressing himself to the driver pardon me as i understand is a species of game the broad moist countenance was again uplifted a hint of patronage now its good natured sort er on that must be sufficiently dangerous mr remarked bless you yes players breaks their backs pretty frequent and cuts the about most cruel he ceased speaking abruptly the down with his heel in response to the conductor s bell and drew the horses up short to permit the of fresh passengers this accomplished the the far horizon while fell into further meditation the explanation vouchsafed him was still far from explicit yet this much of illumination he gained from it namely the assurance that all these goodly personages barking and his sweet companion among them were on pleasure bent one and all they forth on this heavy summer afternoon in search of amusement in search of that yet very powerful in human affairs to which it is given to lift the too great weight of seriousness from mortal life perception of helping to restore the balance helping men to hope to laugh and to forget perceiving all which conscious moreover of the near neighbourhood of loneliness on the right hand and old age on the left began to bestow on these of pleasure a more earnest attention in them the of a secret which it greatly him to enter into possession of likewise in what he asked himself did it actually consist this to him practically unknown quantity amusement how was the spirit of it cultivated the enjoyment of it attained how far did it reside in inward attitude how far in outward circumstance in a word how did they all do it it was very incumbent upon him to learn and he admitted a ridiculous ignorance chapter iii thus had the chapter of labour ended and that of leisure opened and it was with the of things terminated very strongly upon him that as the german finished clearing the dinner table and departed mr looked forth over the neatly protected of s green in the evening quiet the pacific aspect of the place irritated him he was aware of a great and very certainly the scene before him offered no solution of the problem of the of that and somehow or other it had to be knew that knew it through every fibre of him or life would be simply meanwhile from the public drawing room below came sounds of innocent enough yet hardly calculated to soothe over strained nerves little mr whose thin and tenor carried as does a penny whistle gave forth the refrain of a song just then popular in music halls they re keeping hours at the home mr while his friend and devout admirer edward tore at the strings and the ladies listened in a somewhat grim spirit of endurance on the far side of the green he could see the in the dining room these appeared to watch him rather as with three and eyes he whether he would not take his hat step across and tell his old friend what had hap it would at least relieve him of the sound of little s but his pride somehow r the far horizon good souls man and wife they would be full of solicitude and kindness but they would say the wrong thing they would not understand how indeed should they being wholly at one with their surroundings domestic british middle class with its virtues and in evidence george would suggest some minor office or of the local council as a crown of consolation his wife would skirt round the subject of she had done so before now and while presenting a dignified front to the enemy had inwardly shuddered she was an excellent woman but when arch when sly oh dear no it didn t do her were too sadly suggestive of those of a was conscious that he had a skin too little to night he could not witness them with philosophy the intention the words might cause him extravagant annoyance he turned away from the window and took a turn the length of the room a tall distinct and even stately figure in the he felt rather horribly desolate he was fairly frightened by the greatness of the within and about him by absence of employment he had little to reproach himself with his record was than most men s he could not but know that he had sacrificed personal ambition personal happiness to the service of one dear to him not for a moment did he regret it had it to be done all over again without hesitation he would do it still there was no facts here was the not of ill living but of good namely loneliness old age here at his elbow death waiting there ahead the routine has gone on too long he said to himself bitterly i have lost my lost my human the far horizon ity i am a machine now not a man to the machine work is life work over life is over and the machine is just so much lumber better broken up and sent to the | 32 |
rag and bottle shop where it may fetch the worth of its weight as scrap iron he turned came back to the open window again and stood there rather carefully avoiding the three eyes of the dining room and fixing his gaze on that sullen of sunset still hanging in the extreme there is no rag and bottle shop where bank clerks of five and fifty have even the very modest market value of scrap iron he went on of all kinds of that of we human beings is the most utterly obvious when our working day is past mental decay and bodily corruption as the ultimate and this side of it a few years of increasing degradation a mere senseless killing of time until the very goal is reached along with a growing selfishness and of outlook along possibly with some development of the more detestable because it the of hot blood oh is that the ugly road you are doomed to travel a for filling your belly with fly blown off the refuse heap and through the open window in sinister accompaniment to little mr s and came the voice of the great city herself in answer low without emphasis but without relief of interval or of pause and this laid hold strongly of imagination reminding him of all the intimate wretchedness of that first of the ship of his fate reminding him of his long and fruitless in search of employment good looks energy youth itself seeming but an added the far horizon when london revealed herself to him in her revealed herself as a prodigious living creature awful in her mysterious vigour ever big with impending birth merciless with impending death as she showed herself to him then with life all before him so she showed herself still when in the blackness of his present humour all life worth the name appeared over and passed he had changed so he believed to the point of and final she remained strong active as ever as long ago so now she struck him as monstrous yet now though all the conditions were changed he had as long ago an instinct that from her there was no escape i have served you honestly enough ah these years he said since she had voice to speak she had also ears to hear and you have taken much and given little to day you have turned me off told me to quit where i ask you can i go i am too by in travel too to begin again elsewhere moreover you hold the record of my experience all my glad and sorrowful memories i might try to leave you but it s no use i am planted and rooted in you monstrous mother that you are if i know myself i should go only to come back for the moment the calm of long self control was broken up within him dwelt and sensibly in the horror of the outer darkness which horror is known only to that small and somewhat suspect of human beings who are also capable by the operation of the divine mercy of dwelling in the glory of the light the swing of the is equal to right as to left he was staggered by the misery of his own a stranger as he suddenly by temperament and as well as by race then resolutely he turned his back on this with an instinct of self the far horizon directing his thought to things practical and average for example that question of the concerning which he now found to his slight surprise he was no longer the least in doubt this money was his by right the hard strain in his nature was dominant to the full he would claim his rights and since in moments of despair the human mind invariably requires a human victim be it merely a a image of a man to melt in the fires of its humiliation and revolt remembered with much contemptuous satisfaction the portrait of sir barking the wall of the latter s private room at the bank he hailed the talent of the artist who had laid bare with such subtle skill the of his it was a pretty revenge very just now to for the real man as he reflected was not the man who sat heavily self complacent in a library chair and pride of patronage but the man who hung upon the wall forever ridiculous while paint and canvas should last thus would he go down to posterity and to just now it seemed very excellent that posterity should know him for the wind bag he essentially was securely behind his own large prosperity had he not counted his blessings to him amusement rest him on just all that which made for his present distress namely his obscure position his enforced idleness his absence of human ties the general of his state in life the more he thought of the incident the more it filled him with indignation and disgust therefore very certainly he would claim his claim an but actual of this man s great wealth would live long so as to claim it as long as possible till the paying of it indeed should become a weariness to the the far horizon and he would spend it too unquestionably he would mr rare and gracious smile had an almost cruel edge to it the machine shall become a man again he said and the man shall amuse himself how i don t yet know but i will find out work has made me dull and he straightened himself up tired yet unbroken defiant aware though the horror of the outer darkness was yet upon of purpose still and play may make me the reverse of dull and i have always been and i will continue to be so this | 32 |
enterprise admits of no delay i will begin at once begin to morrow to amuse myself it is characteristic of the latin to see things written in fire and blood which the slower saxon only sees written in red paint if indeed he ever arrives at seeing them written at all to night the latin held absolute sway in with freedom had come a curious to t his humour like his smile was a trifle cruel he observed judged condemned all mental in when therefore at this juncture the three eyes of the dining room winked slowly and closed their so to speak ceasing to watch and to he no self reproach the good simple couple were shutting up house and going to bed he supposed they sought repose and unless supper had been more cold and heavy than usual slept till broad day a sleep decidedly it was well he had not taken his hat and stepped across to visit them for beyond all question they would not have understood the voice of london for instance meant nothing to them they had no notion london had a voice still less had they any notion she was a prodigious living the far horizon ture london was the place where they resided that was all and since the streets are noisy and dusty they had taken a house in this genteel and convenient of the tremendous life and force of things man made and they had no faintest conception small wonder they went to bed and slept a sleep thinking of which notwithstanding their kindness and affection they became just now to as truly astonishing phenomena in their line as sir barking in his he saw in them merely specimens though good ones of the great majority of the british public a public so and by so in outlook so by social tradition and prejudice that it is really less in touch with everlasting fact than the animals it and eats these at least have and so are at one with universal nature in perception in of action good mrs was as an infant compared to her or her so was little mr with his so for that matter were all the other persons among whom his lot was cast his sense of deepened if amusement was his object most certainly the society of s green would not supply it he must look further for all that in the far the last of the sunset had faded only the cloud remained yet the horizon above the broken line of the house roofs and chimney pots with light the very earthly light which in great cities out when the light of heaven dies to walk the streets with much else of doubtful loveliness till it is by the cold of dawn and along with that a certain element introduced itself into the aspect of s green across the the showed of vivid yet sickly brightness the far horizon bringing at regular intervals the sharply leaves of the plane trees and the shivering silver of the into an and artificial distinctness between were spaces of and gloom and from out such a space immediately opposite slowly emerged a and figure in which recognised the third of his fellow mr de his acquaintance with the said was of the slightest since the latter had but recently entered into residence and rarely appeared at meals mrs habitually referred to him with a pitying respect as a gentleman very influential in literary and professional circles but unfortunate in his married life ending with a sigh and upward glance of her still fine eyes as one who could having herself been through that gate influential or not it occurred to that the man presented a sorry spectacle enough for a minute or he stood in the full glare of a his thin cape was thrown back displaying evening dress he carried a soft grey felt hat in one hand his whole aspect was disappointed dejected his face pale and his hair and beard but indifferently trimmed it was borne in upon moreover that the man was hungry that he had not and that for some time had enough to eat voluntary poverty is among the most beautiful involuntary poverty among the sights upon earth and to which order of poverty that of de belonged mr was in no doubt this was a sordid sight a sight of adding the last touch to the melancholy which oppressed him the figure crossed the road for a minute with a then footsteps ascended the stairs passed the door and took their way up and onward to the bed immediately above the far horizon down below the music had ceased while sounds arose suggestive of a little on the part of the two young men in bidding their hostess and miss good night very soon the house became silent but though tired was in no humour for sleep he drew forward a leather covered and sat near the open window in at which came a breathing of night this was soothing touching his forehead as with delicate pressure of a cool and sympathetic hand so that without any sense of surprising transition he found himself in the garden of the little house in holland street once again the was in full blossom and the breeze uplifted the light drooping branches of it making all their golden glory dance in the sunshine there must have been rain in the night too for the stone basin was full of water in which the were busy washing sending up tiny and fountains from their swiftly fluttering wings it was delicious to he felt very safe very gay only a heavy cat came from nowhere it had designs upon the twice it climbed stealthily up the broken bricks and gas twice the little boy drove it away it was not a nice cat it | 32 |
had a broad white face little eyes and grey whiskers it declared it only caught for their good and for the good of the community it assured he was guilty of a grave error of judgment in attempting to interfere it said a great deal about moral responsibility and the heavy obligations persons of wealth and position owe to themselves just then carrying a square s tin containing an infernal machine under his arm his countenance radiant in the sunshine came down the steps from the dining room window and while ran to greet him the cat crept back the far horizon again its face was the face of sir barking and it made a spring at the but the pillar broke and the basin over it across the down on to the under the edge of the stone lip oh you ve spoilt my garden you ve spoilt my garden cried the basin has fallen the will never wash in it any more but patted him on the head tenderly do not weep over the fallen basin very dear one he said rather sing aloud te in praise of the glorious goddess of social revolution who has delivered the enemy of the people into our hands this is no affair of cat and bird but of the and the on which he so for a little space let the creature lie there let it understand what it is to have a back broken by the weight of an impossible burden let it try vainly to drag its limbs from beneath an immovable load observe it let it suffer very soon we will finish with it and the system it represents see in the name of humanity of labour of the unknown and millions of the poor i set a match to this good little and with the rapidity of thought blow tyrant capital into a thousand fragments of flesh and bone but to the little boy words and spectacle alike had become painful no no you cannot cure everything that way it is not just he cried and running forward with all his strength he lifted the stone basin off the wounded creature cat man beast of prey modem be it it might he stopped to gather it up in his arms and repulsive though it was to comfort and protect it but just then came a rattle and h knocking him senseless the far horizon mr sat bolt upright in his chair uncertain of his identity and surroundings shaken and bewildered upstairs de spent and by the writing of a would be smart on the first night performance of a screaming farce for one of to morrow s evening papers had stumbled the fire irons as he across his room to bed heard the of the wire as the man flung himself down and that familiar sound restored his sense of actual yet all his mood was changed and softened the return to childhood had made a strange impression upon him filling him with a great for things apparently lost but exquisite and which having once been might though he knew not by what conceivable of time or chance once again be meanwhile he must have slept long for the wind had grown chill the voice of london the monstrous mother had grown weak and and the earthly light along the horizon had grown faint and by the whiteness of approaching dawn chapter iv a e range of high oak well well innocent of or to the human eye visible above it the heads of enormous elm trees in sunshine rising towards the ample curve of the summer sky at intervals with tumultuous rush and the of the hoofs of unseen horses galloping for all they are worth over grass the and rub of breeches against saddle the rattle of a chain or the rings of a bit a call a challenge smothered exclamations the long drawn of the stick through the air and the of the wooden head of it against ball or ground or something softer and more a pause broken only by distant voices and the sound or rather sense of men and horses in quiet and friendly movement followed by the tumultuous rush and and all the moving incidents of the heard yet drama over again for here it was that gallant and costly game beloved of oriental princes rather described to mr yesterday by the driver of the as a kind of on horseback in very full swing no doubt only unfortunately found himself on the wrong side of the and since he had learned indirectly from the observations of the police directing the stream of carriages at the entrance gates to other would be spectators that to the ground as to so much else obviously desirable in this world there is no admission except by ticket on the wrong side of these same the far horizon he recognised he was fated to stay it was a disappointment not to say an annoyance for he had come forth in accordance with his determination to make observations and inquiries regarding that same matter of amusement and since the influence of that which is to be acts upon us if not quite as strongly as the influence of that which has been the handsome eager countenance of young barking and the graceful figure of his fair companion as seen from the occurred very forcibly in this connection to mind he would go forth and behold that which they had gone forth to behold he would witness the sports of the and rich from these he elected somewhat proudly to take his first lessons in the fine art of amusement so here he was and here too very much here were the failure and of purpose fortunately unwonted exercise and the pure atmosphere tended to and agreeable harmony of the mental and physical being it followed | 32 |
that active annoyance was short lived for a minute or two mr listening to the moving music of the unseen game then walking onward to the end of the where the turn away sharply at the left he crossed the road and made for a wooden bench just there presenting itself it was pleasant to rest the walk had been a long one but it now appeared to him that the labour of it had not been wholly in vain for around him stretched a common broken by straggling and and dotted with bushes upon the branches of which the crowded white blossoms still lingered from one to another small birds flitted with a pretty dipping flight uttering quick detached notes as in merry question and answer through the rough turf the pushed upward the far horizon sturdy of green away to the right beyond the railway line rose the wooded slopes of and while against the gloom of them the home of station hard white lines and angles tipped with scarlet and black stood out in high relief like the gigantic characters of some strange down the wide road ground and and carriages moved slowly two abreast the sitting at ease talking and smoking while waiting to take up at the police guarded gate back there towards the heat and smoke of london when the match should be played out but immediately london the heat and smoke and voice of it seemed far enough away the wholesome charm of the country very present for a while yielded himself up to it contented he in the sunshine his mind vacant of definite thought but for a while only for as physical fatigue wore off definite thought returned and with it the sense of his own loneliness the oppression of a future empty of work the bitterness of this by the little disappointment he had lately suffered he leaned forward his hands clasped between his knees looking at the pushing bravely upward through the rough turf to air and light even these blind and speechless things worked in a sense the law of their existence he went back on the dream of last night on his own childhood the yet haunting anxiety of it his father s fierce and mysteriously uncertain fate and to think that was the pit out of which i of all men was he said to himself have i done something to restore the family balance in respect of right reason or is the shame of upon me the far horizon have i sacrificed myself or cowardly have i merely living heaven knows i don t only but here his meditations were broken in on by a voice imperative in tone yet shaken by laughter it called do you hear come here you little then perceived that he had ceased to be sole of the bench a dog a tiny toy sat beside him it very close gazing at him with foolishly prominent eyes its ears black edged with tan soft and as silk hung down in long on either side its minute and melancholy face the tip of its red tongue just showed it was self conscious and solemn it planted one fringed upon arm and it well of all the young beggars this time the voice broke in unmistakable merriment wholly spontaneous as of relief even of mischievous triumph and mr looking up found himself confronted by a young woman she advanced slowly her trailing string coloured lace skirts gathered up lazily in one hand about her shoulders she wore a long silk embroidered with of and scarlet and gold these rather violent colours found repetition in the leaves and flowers that crowned her lace hat the wide brim of which was tied down with narrow strings of purple velvet fashion beneath her chin under her arm she carried another tiny the creature s black morsel of a head peeping out from among the forms of the embroidered which last appeared to as in the heat of deadly conflict as their moved her face was in shadow owing to the breadth of the brim of the far horizon her hat otherwise the sunshine embraced her whole figure on it a yet singularly effect as though a column of pale dust were here and there with splendour of rich and it was just this effect of something in a way and out of relation to sober fact which struck him for the moment i of his dignified courtesy frankly he stared at this ap i so strangely at with the realities of his own melancholy thought meanwhile the little dog up yet closer against him yes pray don t disturb yourself the young lady went on it s too bad i know to intrude on you like this but as refuses to come to me it is clear i have to come after it s simply disgraceful the way she carries on when one takes her out i making acquaintances like this casually all over the place the maids refuse to air her even on a string they say it becomes a little too but as i explain to them she s not a bit the modern woman she belongs to a stage of social development when pretty people infinitely preferred being to being the speaker laughed again quietly i m not altogether sure they weren t right when you are finished done for it matters precious little whether you ve been first or not don t you agree any way s not going to be if she can help it she s horribly scared or to be at let one and she forgets all her manners and just to anybody for protection she ll take refuge in the most places to escape the part of wisdom in face of this very young person would have been no doubt to arise and the far horizon withdraw but to just then dogs | 32 |
woman conversation were alike so remote and unreal part merely of the scene which he had been contemplating that he failed to take them seriously from routine he was in a way from habitual modes of mind and conduct he neither consented nor refused but just let things happen little or no meaning to them if this feminine being chose to well let her do so really he did not care i am not very modem myself he said with a shade of weariness so perhaps your small dog had some of a kindred spirit when taking refuge with me all the same you hardly date from the social era of charles ii i fancy the young lady answered quickly as she spoke she raised her chin with a slightly impudent movement thus bringing her countenance into the sunlight for the first time clearly saw her face it was small the features insignificant the skin smooth and fine in texture but sallow her hair black and very massive was puffed out and dressed low hiding her ears her lips were rather positively red and the tinge of colour on either cheek though slight was not wholly convincing in tone even to a person of mr of experience in such matters her face was vaguely suggestive of the would have been distinctly so but for her eyes these were curiously at with the rest of her appearance they belonged to a quite other order of woman so to speak a woman of finer of higher intelligence possibly of nobler purposes they were large in size thereby helping to dwarf the proportions of her face in colour they were a rather light warm with a slight over both and pupil and a shade in the of them in the far horizon these last particulars they were like a baby s eyes but very unlike in the intensity of their observation as she fixed them upon may be a fool about she remarked but she s uncommonly shrewd in reading character she seems to like you to have taken you on don t you know and she s generally right so i ll sit down please oh no no come along now this as mr rose and made a movement to depart why dear man the very point of the whole show is that you should sit down too chapter v and so it came about that the lady of the dust sat at one d of the flat bench and at the other with the two absurd and exquisite little dogs in between and the lady her voice was sweet and fuu with plaintive tones and turns of laughter in it and though the sounds were not wholly having the in them common to the speech of the bred the happily remained and listened still with a curious indifference as sitting in the body of the house he might have listened to from the other side of the it passed the time presently he would get up taking the whole of his rather sorrowful personality along with him and go out by the main entrance while she left by the stage door and so vanished little dogs and all it s my habit to play fair she announced if i m going to ask personal questions at the finish i always lead up to them by supplying personal information at the start it s mean to induce other people to give themselves away unless you give yourself away first also i observe it is usually quite unsuccessful well then to begin with his name she gently the tiny beside her causing it to uneasily all the length of its back is graceful and distinguished isn t it but i give you my word i couldn t help myself s so that i had to knock the conceit out of her somehow or it would not have been possible to live with her she was altogether too smart for me used to look at me as if i was a so i consulted a friend of mine about it the far horizon for it s a little too much to be made to feel like a in your own house and by a thing of that size too and he my friend said there is nothing to compare with a for taking the out of anyone i own i was not exactly off my head about that speech of his in a way it was rather a but when i got cool i saw he was right after all he knew and i knew and he knew that i knew the lady paused her voice had taken on a plaintive she looked away at the heads of the enormous elm trees above the range of oak for the life of me i can t imagine why you re here she exclaimed instead of inside there with all the rest of them however we haven t got as far as that yet i was telling you about my king so my friend brought me this one again she the little dog gently his s pretty fair but of course it s not a patch on s her and the you don t mind my alluding quite briefly to the are a serious source of income to me but i believe she would have ignored the he is rather nice looking you see and is rather superficial it is the name that her that s where the real trouble comes in not like it i believe you she s capable of saving up all her pocket money to buy him a foreign title as a rich g y woman i once knew did who married a man called he was a bad lot when she married him and he stayed so but as the d it didn t | 32 |
matter vices became merely quaint little if he beat her it was with an umbrella with a on the handle and that made all the difference everything for the shop window you see with a nature like hers or s but i don t rub it in i assure you i don t i only remind of the fact by the far horizon calling her mrs w o when she s a and a terror and that s better than her anyhow isn t it to this proposition mr gravely assented the lady drew her blue purple a little closer about her shoulders causing the embroidered to as in the heat of conflict while the sunlight on the gold thread of their and claws and glittered in their eyes she gazed at the elm trees again it s quite nice to hear you speak you know she remarked the conversation has been a little one sided so far i was beginning to be afraid you might be bored but now it s all right i flourish on encouragement so to go on my name is st john mrs st john rather good isn t it distinctly so said mr her began to entertain him somewhat and then he had forth in search of amusement this was not the form of amusement he would have selected but since it presented itself i m glad you like it she returned i ve always thought it rather telling myself an improvement on mrs anyhow oh yes a vast improvement she repeated my friend was quite right i tell you it s an awful to have a name which gives you away the man the husband i mean may be the best of the good still it s difficult to forgive him for you with some stupidity like that there s no getting away from it you feel like a bottle of or boot polish or a tin of whenever a servant you everybody knows where you do and don t come in but to go on i am barely three only i fancy you are the sort of person who is rather rough on lying aren t you well in that case quite between ourselves i am just turned nine and twenty the far horizon she faced round on fixing on him those curiously eyes which at once and the of her face as the sweetness of her voice and the of her accent and the of her manner and movements the impertinence of her words and vulgarity of her and really that s about all it is necessary for you to know at present she asserted we shall see later if we keep it up if keeps it up i mean of course she is fearfully gone on you now that s dear and she may be capable of a serious attachment i can t tell an unfortunate marriage has known to turn that way before now anyhow we ll give her the benefit of the doubt laughed softly leaning forward and still looking at mr from under the shadow of her hat now she said come along i ve shown you i play fair all round even to a stuck up little monkey of a thing like it s your turn to stand and deliver i had been watching you and for ever so long before our introduction tell me who on earth are you figure a little but it was impossible to be annoyed with her to begin with she was too unreal too a being and to go on with invincible good temper is so very who am i nobody he answered gravely bless us here s a find cried apparently addressing the little dogs hasn t he so much of a name even as where s it gone to it must be nearly as awkward for him as it was for the man who had no shadow come though she added in tones of remonstrance you must play fair cards on the far horizon the table and no to put it another way what do you do since yesterday nothing he answered the young lady regarded him with increasing interest but my gentle lunatic she said you didn t exactly begin your acquaintance with this sphere yesterday couldn t you know though you are very beautiful to look at so if you don t very particularly much mind we ll hark back to before yesterday gravity gave way slightly he smiled in spite of his natural pride and for over thirty five years i was a clerk in a city bank cried hotly and pray what variety of idiot do you take me for if you are going to decline upon fiction please let it be of a higher order than that i tell you it s unworthy of you she up her lips and moved her head slowly from side to side in high disgust don t be childish she said don t be silly if you want to gas do put a little more intelligence into it you you out of sight the most distinguished looking man i ve ever met except lord well we won t name names it sounds you a clerk in a city bank there excuse me but simply snapped her fingers like a pair of making the little dogs start and fiddle she cried tell it to a bed ridden in a blind asylum fiddle de and for the life of him could not help laughing it was a new sensation it occurred to him that he had not laughed for years hardly since the days of poor and the little garden in holland street the far horizon watched him her eyes dancing her expression was very charming wholly in a way maternal just then but was hardly sensible of it that s good she | 32 |
said now you ll feel a lot better i saw there was something wrong with you from the start which needed breaking up now suppose you quit inadequate inventions and just tell the truth unfortunately i have done so already mr said the lady paused a moment her face full of inquiry and doubt honest the term was not familiar to her but he judged it to be of the nature of an and assented and do you mean to tell me that for all those years you went through that every day i had my sundays answered and since their invention my bank holidays i got three weeks holiday in the summer formerly a fortnight laughter had speedily and his mood returning upon him found a certain bitter enjoyment in setting forth the extreme of his life before this light hearted piece of womanhood again he her with the absurd and exquisite little dogs as something superfluous out of relation to sad and sober realities and yet you manage to look as you do it beats me declared i tell you it me out of time completely for if you ll excuse my being personal there is an air about you not usually by an stool at least in my experience where do you get it from you can t be english i am a by mr said with a slight lift of the head the far horizon there now my dear man don t you go and up again we were just beginning to get along so nicely put in quickly i am having a capital good time and you re not having an altogether bad one are you but tell me how long ago were you extracted very long ago i was brought to england as a baby child oh i didn t mean it that way she returned i was not touching on the subject of age not that it would matter much in your case for you are one of the lucky sort with whom age does not count i only meant are you an all round foreigner practically my mother was partly irish looked away to those wooded slopes of and against the gloom of which the home of station hard white lines and angles tipped with scarlet and black stood out like the gigantic characters of some strange the air was sweet with the scent of new hay the birds up and down the bushes and it was all very charming yet that same and distrust of the future were very present to he forgot all about his companion aware only that those two guests old age and loneliness stood close beside him claiming and entertainment ah your mother said slowly with the slightest perceptible of mockery and she is alive still turned upon the poor lady of the dust fiercely she had come too close come from her proper place were not her lips painted behind the and laid her hands upon that which was holy he was filled with anger towards the far horizon her anger towards himself too that he should have departed from his habitual silence and submitted to be cross questioned and listened to her feather headed so long he rose to his feet for the moment young alert full of a pride at once and forbid he said sternly dear saint and martyr she is safe from all at last she is dead he stood a moment trying to choke down his anger before addressing her again it is time i should go he said presently i think we have talked enough but st john presented a singular appearance all the audacity had departed from her she sat huddled together looking very small and desolate her eyes the one noble feature of her face swimming with tears no no don t go she cried in tones of entreaty why should you go i like you and i meant no harm i ve had the day and meeting you was a let up you did me good somehow was quite right in taking to you i only wanted to know about you because well you are different don t tell me i know what i am talking about you re straight you re good right through the words were poured forth so rapidly that hardly gathered the exact purport of them but one thing was clear to him namely that this frivolous and being must be human after all since she could suffer don t go she repeated i m miserable i ll explain i ll tell you just sit down again it would be awfully kind you see i ve been expecting a friend it was all important i should see him to day because there were things to be said i ve been awake half the night the far horizon up my courage to saying them and then he never turned up i got nerves waiting hour after hour anybody would waiting like that and i began to imagine every kind of disaster swallowed a little and her against her eyes i shall be all right in a minute she went on do sit down please you say you re nobody and have nothing to do so you can t very well be in a hurry i am like this sometimes it s awfully silly but i can t help it some rotten trifle sets me off and then i can t stop myself i begin to go over all my worst luck doesn t it occur to you there s no earthly good in standing it me to talk loud and it s stupid to take all common into our confidence thanks that s very nice of you well you see when fm like his the flood gates of memory are opened which sounds pretty enough but the is strictly | 32 |
limited to the sound for most of us at least as far as my experience goes the water is generally a bit dirty and there are too many dead things floating about in it and when they by as the current takes them they turn and seem to struggle and come half alive she paused the embroidered up about her shoulders that is why i put on this to day it was given me by a man who was awfully fond of me before i married he bought it in the at and sent it home to me just as he was starting on one of those little frontier wars the accounts of which they keep out of the english papers and he was killed poor dear old boy in some little and this is all i ve got left of him spread out the ends of the for mr inspection the far horizon it must have cost a lot of money the stones are real you see and that gold thread is heavy just feel the weight it was all his people s doing they didn t consider me smart enough for him or rather for themselves they weren t anybody in particular but they were climbing the society had bitten them badly so they him off to india what another pair of shoes it would have been for me if he d lived at least it seems so to me when i m down on my luck as i am to day but after all i don t know began to be impudent to laugh again though somewhat sometimes i don t believe one can count on any of you men till you are well dead and then you re not much use you know faithful or she her eyes once more and looked at mr smiling life s a pretty rotten business at times all round isn t it she said you must have found it so with that thirty years in a city bank by the way what bank was it and touched by that very human story attracted in spite of himself by the frankness of his companion a little shaken by the novelty of the whole situation answered mechanically the bank oh yes messrs barking brothers barking of street for a moment sat silent her mouth round as an o then she drew her open hand down sharply behind poor and shot the small dog in a sitting position off the bench on to the rough grass his fringed legs stuck out stiff as sticks while his enormous of ears flew up and back giving him the most wildly appearance during this brief flight through space catch birds she cried catch birds i tell you the far horizon think of your figure my good child take exercise or you ll be as round as a tub she clapped her hands but the little animal half scared half offended came closer upon her trailing string coloured skirts leaned down resting her elbows upon her knees and at the unhappy with her handkerchief go away you silly have a little decent pride can t you don t bestow attentions when they re unwelcome then she addressed herself to mr but without looking up i beg your pardon all this must seem rather abrupt but sometimes one s duty to one s family takes one on the jump as you may say and one neglect right away also on the jump but but there s one thing i should like to know when i told you my name just now st john mrs st john you remember i remember he said well didn t it convey didn t it mean anything special to you i am afraid not answered you must pardon my ignorance since i have lived very much out of the world i know nothing of society so much the better the world is a vastly place and society is about the biggest fraud going she left off the little dog sat bolt upright and looked full at her eyes serious all the of her features and those little doubtful details of the general effect of her don t make any mistake about either of them she said let the world and society alone as you value your peace of mind and independence they re dead sea fruit to all such as well you and me i hate them only they ve got me and will have me in some form or other till the end i suppose but the far horizon you are different and i warn you s voice took on an odd of mingled bitterness and tenderness they are not a bit adapted for a beautiful innocent king like you she got up as she spoke gathering her trailing skirts about her and called sharply to the little dogs the dew is rising she said and s a regular cry baby if she gets her feet wet i must take her home there s my card you see the address you can come when you like only let me know the day beforehand because i should be sorry to have people with me or to be out want you so shall i you do me good i ll play quite fair i promise you night the sun stood in a triumph of crimson and gold which passed into the fine blue of a belt of earth mist eastward the sky blushed too but with brazen by the breath of the great city the pure blue of the earth mist exchanged for the of coal smoke and the thousand and one of steaming streets public houses and st john walked slowly along the her figure by the of the skies to the crimson and gold of her name about her shoulders the embroidered glittered as she moved while the two | 32 |
tiny trotted humbly at her heels for a brief space she showed absolutely then suddenly an terrace of smart much be and little houses shut off the sunset and in their rather vulgar shadow watching beheld her transformed into the in a way lady of the dust and of the once again chapter vi that weekly ceremony well known to s green mrs s afternoon at home was in progress she wore her black satin gown and her white lace just to give it a touch of summer lightness it must be added that she was warm and uncomfortable having preparations in respect of in the atmosphere of the hurried upstairs the imagined of the front door bell perpetually in her ears to pull her stays in at the waist and project herself into the official a very trying process on a june day to a person of ample and what may be described as the temperament later she had cooled off or tried so to cool for on such occasions there is invariably some window blind ornament or piece of furniture in need of sitting in her somewhat fog stained and sun faded drawing room during that evil period of waiting in which the intending hostess first suffers acute mortification because she is quite sure nobody will come and then gets hot all over from the equally certainty that everybody she has ever known will appear simultaneously and that there will be neither cakes nor conversation enough to go round but this and oft repeated preface to the afternoon s was now happily over and the good lady of discomfort and a slightly complexion sat with satisfaction upon her best sofa dr beside her pleasure not business to day mrs for once i am going to make no demands on my faithful the far horizon and able this call is a purely friendly one no lists of any sort or description in my pocket the clergyman had said in his bass when clasping her hand a large dark clean shaven man of forty a studied effect of and benevolence about him slightly tempered perhaps by cold and watchful blue grey eyes fixed so said his with determination upon the hat apron and of the however was very far from being among the she this gracious speech she also approved the attitude of her husband at this juncture since with tact he engaged the attention of her two other guests a mrs and her daughter these ladies were rich the younger had pretensions both to beauty and fashion but their present was alas stained by their past by association with trade at the entrance of the remembering these sad defects rose to the occasion gently but firmly he round them heading them towards the doorway who are those dr inquired with some interest not i fancy not in any true sense mrs replied and i am sorry to say rather against the church the clergyman leaned back and crossed his legs comfortably ah well poor human nature a touch of jealousy perhaps he remarked mrs beamed very likely still i should be just as well pleased not to continue their acquaintance i don t like to hear things that are i should have ceased to the far horizon call but relatives of theirs are old friends of mr s mother s family quite so quite so the other returned even when silent the sound of him seemed to him as the roll of a drum seems to salute you when merely beholding that instrument his speech filled all the room flowing forth into every corner sweeping upward in waves to the very the feminine members of his congregation found this most beautiful having indeed been known to declare that did he preach in chinese they would still receive and spiritual benefit quite so he repeated the breaking of old family ties is certainly to be avoided and then moreover we should always guard against any appearance of or in dealing with christians from whom we have reason to differ in minor questions of doctrine or practice we must never forget that the though they went out from us do remain the brethren of all in a very special sense since they have the great lessons of the at heart i could wish that certain parties within the church were animated by the same manly and intelligent of and superstition as the majority of the whom i meet personally i should welcome greater freedom of intercourse and a frequent of we know who d be the mrs put in gracefully ah well i am prepared to believe that the gain might not be exclusively on one side mrs folded her fat hands almost audibly he seemed to her so very wise and good that s so like you dr she said as i always tell mr we have a great responsibility in having you for our and friend you are the far horizon a standing rebuke to many of us being so wide minded yourself hardly that hardly that he answered with becoming modesty in my humble way i do strive towards unity that is all even towards the church of rome i would extend a friendly and hand we cannot of course go to her yet she should never be discouraged from coming to us but here is your good husband back again ceased to be with the eh i was glad you took them away mrs put in still i m sorry for you for the s been talking so nobly you ve missed such a lot ah hardly that i have merely been giving your dear good wife a little lecture on christian charity how is mrs thank you well earnest and energetic as ever i do not know how i could meet the demands of this large parish without her a true mrs | 32 |
truly so and specially in all questions of she is altogether my superior in capacity indeed it is an understood thing between us that i relieve her of what may be called the bad third of her marriage vow if she will love and honour i assure her i am ready to obey a capital working rule for husbands eh always supposing they have found the right woman as you and i have in the midst of this delicious the hostess had to rise to receive further guests conflicting emotions struggled within her ample bosom namely regret at leaving that thrice happy sofa and satisfaction that others should behold the glory so visibly how d ye do mrs how d ye do miss the far horizon she said very kind of you to come and call only a few friends as yet but perhaps that s just as pleasant this warm afternoon dr as you see and at his very best she lowered her voice so at home so full of great thoughts and yet so quite a privilege for all to hear him talk encouraged by recent george again rose with tact to the occasion it may be stated in passing that in person he was below the middle height a thick man his figure indeed not of a large from the four corners of which short arms and legs his face was round fresh coloured and clean to the point of polish his grey hair well and shining grew far back on his forehead and this combined with small blue eyes clear as a child s a slight inward to them produced an effect of permanent and innocent surprise not devoid of pathos in character he was and humble minded the spectacle of cruelty or injustice would however rouse him to the attitude of the he believed himself to be very happy an added touch of pathos perhaps and was pained and surprised if it was brought home to him that others found life a less comfortable and kindly invention than he himself did hence reports of worried him sadly he would always have returned a verdict of temporary insanity this being to him the only explanation conceivable of a voluntary exit from our so excellent present form of existence yet was not without his little secret sorrow who indeed is a deep seated regret for small possessed him the instinct of being strong in him he loved children and when alone often lingered beside in ken the far horizon gardens fondly observing their contents yet not for ten thousand pounds sterling would he have admitted this weakness lest in doing so he should hurt the wife s feelings and it was in obedience to consideration for the said feelings that he now threw himself gallantly into the breach for after acting as chorus to an of trifling on the part of the clergyman with the he under promise of showing her recent additions to his collection of picture detached miss from the neighbourhood of the sofa and conveyed her to the farther side of the room mrs neat pensive and sentimental could be trusted to play the part of attentive listener but the great as he knew by experience was liable to develop dangerous energy to get a little above herself shake her mane of sandy hair and become altogether too not to say loud for such distinguished company personally he had a soft spot in his heart for but if she put herself forward he feared for the wife s feelings therefore did he her and he had reason to congratulate himself on this for undoubtedly was in a humour yes she remarked contemplating the portrait of a celebrated that is very taking and and it is just what i should like to have done with my this graceful was generally understood to bear testimony to the excellence of mrs s complexion now if we wanted a gentleman guest or two more at any time a picture of her like this just slightly tinted in answer to inquiries miss her head on one side looked at mr what about a subsequent summons for over crowd the far horizon ing he chuckled the whole breadth of the room well understood was between him and the wife s not to mention the august presence beside her upon the sofa no doubt that has to be thought of nodded but is she not looking sweeter than ever to day do not pretend you have not noticed it mr there s no deceiving me i know you like all mild and moral men flushed with delight at any suggestion that he was a gay dog a dashing blade his good honest face took on a higher polish than ever you are too clever by half miss well somebody has to keep their wits about them with such a love as to care for i dressed her myself to day the pearl grey gown if you like i said but not a scrap of black with it just a touch of colour at the throat please no dear she said it would call for remark since i have never done so since i lost major but there mr i insisted for why she should go on wearing complimentary mourning all her life for a wretch that nearly broke her heart and ruined her passes me forget the serpent i said and put on a little now just look at her rather dangerous for some people is it not inquired quite hard on our gentlemen you mean well perhaps it is but then they always have the sight of me to put up with no compliments thank you i have my and my toilet glass and they have let me know i was no ever since i can remember it would not do to our gentlemen too much they might | 32 |
leave and then wherever would lodge be miss became suddenly serious and confidential and that reminds me she went on i wanted to the far horizon have a private word with you to day about a certain gentleman who may be the good inquired you can guess can t you your own candidate mr the lady nodded must be spared anxiety therefore i speak mr something is going on and she is getting worried you cannot approach the person to whom we are alluding as you can either of our others rather stand even now after nearly eight years that he has been with us between you and me and the mr i am just a bit nervous of that person so if you could hint quite in confidence what his plans may be for the future it would be really friendly dear me dear me plans i do not quite follow you miss nothing wrong with him i trust that is just what we cannot find out no of course mr neither nor i would descend to such meanness our gentlemen have perfect liberty we would scorn to put questions but it is close on a week now since the person we are alluding to has been to the city bless me you surprise me he cannot have left barking brothers barking the great shook her mane i believe that is just exactly what he has done you do surprise me i can hardly credit it nearly a week and he as punctual and regular as i must run over this evening and catch him something must be wrong and yet why has he not been here dear me miss you but the end of the sentence was lost in the bass notes issuing from the presence upon the sofa the far horizon truly the prosperity of the nation dr was saying of this dear old england of ours that we so love is wholly bound up with the prosperity of her national church i use the word prosperity in a plain manly straightforward sense personally i should rejoice to see the bonds of church and state drawn closer it could not fail to make for the welfare of both then among other benefits we should see the poverty of many members of my cloth which is now a crying scandal you do hear very sad tales from the country districts certainly sighed mrs the state of affairs is more than sad it is and therefore the church must assert herself the individual minister must assert himself and claim a higher scale of help yourself show push and principle cultivate practical aims that is what i preach to young men reading for holy orders we have no place in these days for and we want men who march with the times who are interested in politics and can make themselves felt so did the great voice roll on and outward very beautiful to the in sound though in sense it may be questioned whether it conveyed very definite ideas to them but highly embarrassing to the house whose feminine tones quite failed to make against the volume of it with the consequence that was left standing in the shadow of the doorway he was aware and that not without surprise how much these few days of freedom and leisure had quickened his his mental attitude had changed his demand had ceased to be moderate hence he suffered a hundred to taste and sensibility hitherto unknown or at least he knew when a woman was plain when a conversation was or vulgar a manner the far horizon a speech lacking in sincerity he stood aside no longer out of humility or indifference but observant things however familiar and passing judgment upon them for example the character of mrs s drawing room engrossed his attention the dirty and watery of it the of worthless little ornaments revealing a most lamentable absence of artistic perception in that fine voice he detected a kindred absence of delicate perception a born of very inadequate conception of relative indeed the voice and the sentiments given forth by it in as far as he caught the drift of them raised a definite spirit of in him the voice seemed to was taken with an inclination very novel in him to too he crossed the room an added touch of gravity and dignity in his aspect and manner the clergyman gazed at him with some curiosity while mrs up off the sofa mr well of all people whoever would have expected to see you at this early hour of the day talk of a certain gentleman and that gentleman appears miss whispered then her finger at her host now don t you forget that little question of mine find out his intentions just as you may say under the rose but there s to go in the interval of which were slightly protracted owing to on the part of the fair found himself standing beside the clergyman the latter still regarded him with curiosity but whatever his faults not his worst enemy could accuse dr of being a of persons unless he was well assured beforehand whom such persons might be he therefore turned to with the easy air of patron the far horizon age not uncommon to his cloth as one who should say my good sir don t be afraid i am a man of the world as well as a christian i will handle you gently i won t hurt you i think i caught a foreign name he remarked you are paying a visit to london i hope our capital makes an agreeable impression upon you the visit has been of such long duration answered that impressions have i am afraid become slightly by usage ah indeed no doubt that happens in some measure to all of us i am to understand that you are a | 32 |
resident assented in this district again he assented indeed really i wish i had known it sooner it always gives me pleasure to meet persons of another than my own intercourse with them makes for liberality of view it often anti english prejudice i am always glad to be to strangers you are very kind said with gravity not at all not at all i hold very practical views not only regarding the duties of the englishman to the alien but of the towards his flock but i find it almost impossible i regret to say to become personally acquainted with all my my are capital young fellows earnest active go ahead but in a large area such as this there is always a shifting population with which the clergy however energetic find it difficult to keep in touch we are obliged to between and as soon as any person is proved to be a my pass his or her name on to me and either i or my wife call ia due course permitted himself to smile the far horizon an excellent system no doubt he remarked i find it works very well on the whole but no system is there must be occasional and you have been the victim of one i mention this to your mind of the idea of any neglect well mrs and so our good friends mrs and miss have women both of them in their own line i ought to be running away too and i have just been having a word with your other guest here mr put in coldly he was in a state of pretty high displeasure to hear his name might he felt a catastrophe ah yes thank you i have been explaining to mr our system of visiting and quoting our well known joke about the and you remember it he has i regret to find been counted among the latter while he has qualified as one of the former the mistake must be well good by to you mrs i shall see your good husband on my way downstairs good day to you mr i shall hope to meet you again and with that he and the sound of him moved towards the door mrs subsided upon the sofa the supreme glory had departed yet an from the of it remained in her beaming face as she looked up at mr it was a good fairy that brought you in so early to day she said really i am pleased you should have had the chance to meet dr and i could see he was quite taken with you by the way he began to talk before i had the chance to introduce you but that s the all over he never is one to stand up on ceremony so i can believe said you saw it ah part of his wanting the far horizon to put everybody at their ease and i m sure if there s one thing more than another it is to have two of your friends standing up side by side as p as a couple of without so much as a word i know i am too ready to enter into conversation with strangers but if there is a thing i cannot bear it s any appearance of she passed her handkerchief round her forehead and across her lips she was her energies for a daring effort very warm is it not she remarked perhaps then she came to the point i know you are not very much of a mr i am afraid not he paused a moment you see i was born and brought up in another faith yes so george has told me but i am sure none of us would ever be so as to throw that up against you the has been talking so beautifully about christian charity and we all know it was a thing you could not help it was your misfortune anybody would understand that not your fault too it s all over long ago and forgotten looked rather hard at her but it was clear her words were innocent of any intention of offence i suppose it is he said sadly old age and loneliness laying their hands upon him for some reason very sensibly once again not that that s anything to be otherwise than thankful for she added with a slightly effort at consolation of course anyone must feel how it is to be saved from all those terrible false doctrines and not that i know anything about them there s so much don t you think it is so much better not to know anything about then one feels more at liberty to speak the far horizon mr smiled i am not sure that the matter had occurred from exactly that point of view before really now and a clever person like you mrs passed her handkerchief across her forehead again george has a wonderful opinion of your cleverness you know and that is why i have always wished you and the could be brought together i have yes i own to it i have been afraid sometimes you were a little unsettled about religion and that it might too but i knew if you once met the that would all be set right as i often say to george let anybody just see dr and then they will begin to have an of all they miss in not hearing him in the pulpit but here perhaps fortunately the master of the house trotted back he too beamed he was filled with innocent rejoicing had he not successfully protected the wife s feelings and was not who remained to him a wonderful being stirring whatever element of romance might be resident in his nature present in person why what s the meaning of this he chuckled | 32 |
you ve turned over a new leaf round to at home days where s street what s come over you street and i have agreed to part company what for good never this from both husband and wife yes for good said mr ceased to beam he became anxious again and consequently solemn well you do surprise me he said nothing gone wrong i trust not any happened the far horizon none answered in breaking the news to these kindly but souls he had determined to treat it very lightly i have come to the conclusion that i have worked long enough it is a mistake to risk dying in harness you retired three years ago i am going to look about me a little and see what the rest of the world is doing you ll miss the bank and feel a little strange at first did though he had his home to interest him mrs remarked undoubtedly george was more fortunate than i am replied in his most manner not but that all that could be easily she added with a touch of then mr thought it time to depart in the hall his host held him literally by the looking up with blue eyes into his face it s all rather sudden he said i do not want to intrude upon your confidence but if there is anything behind anything in which i can help mr shook his head nothing my good old friend he said the wife s right you know you ll miss the bank the regular hours and the occupation she s quite right i did at first i know but already i have pretty well got through that phase i think ah you have a bigger mind than mine you can rise to a wider view change a commonplace man like myself most i was dreadfully lost at first more than the wife knew females are very sensitive and it would have hurt her to know all i felt if the almighty is good enough to give a man a faithful woman to look after him he can t be too scrupulous in her pain at least so i think suddenly his tone changed but you are the far horizon not going to leave us you are not going to move i do hope he was of his promise to but he was also of himself it had occurred to him for how very much in the interest and pleasure of his life really stood why should you regret my going should you miss me the other asked struck by his tone miss you he said and after a friendship covering forty years i know you are my superior in every way i know i am not on your level all the advantage is on my side in our friendship always has been but that is just where it is why you know next to the wife of course all along you have been the best thing i had then it came to looking down at him that among the many millions of his fellow mortals this being stood nearest to him in sympathy and in love the thought moved him strangely at once deepening his sense of and the load of it in that case i will not move i will stay here at s green he said when mr the sun faded his wife greeted him in these words well i have been thinking it all over and we shall only be doing our duty by mr if we send for your cousin for my part i don t trust mrs did you see that fly away blue bow those who seem so soft are often the deepest and have all sorts of little cunning ways with them she rose from the thrice happy sofa i was gratified to have dr and mr meet but we certainly will have to send for she said i chapter vii me crossed s green in the dusty sunshine he had engaged to stay and indeed he asked himself what person what objects or interests there were to take him else whither nevertheless the promise seemed somehow a of possibility and of hope it was destiny london very evidently having got him did not mean to let him go and london was not attractive this evening but and from the heat he passed on into the great and turned eastward absorbed in thought children cried a scent of over ripe fruit came from in the and open doors of shops appeared to be on edge workmen pouring out from a big block of under construction on the left him in passing not in insolence but simply in their language was with the noise of the traffic was loud turned up one of the side streets leading on to hill it was here and the air was a trifle purer up the hill he hesitated there was a shrine to be visited in these regions in it stood an altar of the dead and above that altar in imagination hung the picture of a woman beautiful and to him infinitely sad he turned eastward again and made his way into holland street he rarely had the courage to go back there he had never the house but this evening he was taken by the desire to look on it all once again for he was still pursued by the tion as to whether he had the possibilities of his life or had sacrificed them to a higher duty than any i the far horizon duty of personal development if the latter however barren of active happiness both past and present he would be in his own eyes justified and desolation would cease to have in it any of self contempt perhaps this dwelling place of his childhood youth and what should have been the best of his manhood help | 32 |
to answer the question and set his doubts at rest a board to let was up on the narrow iron balcony of the dining room rang and after brief with the to neat bald headed little old man in carpet slippers and a well brushed once smart brown check suit altogether too for his person was admitted the place is quite empty save for my bits of sticks in the sir he said you are at liberty to go where you please i am afflicted with the and am glad to avoid mounting the stairs he ended up with a little cough so passed through the vacant house he received a pathetic yet impression the rooms were even smaller than he had supposed they were gloomy too from the worn paint of the high and of the low all the windows were shut and the atmosphere was close and faint the comers were thick with crouching shadows merely awaiting the cover of night as it seemed to to take definite shape stand upright and come forth to possess and people all the house even now it belonged so sensibly to them that his own footsteps sounded to him harshly upon the bare floors at intervals downstairs in the he could hear the little old s cough and it was strange to him to consider what those crouching shadows might represent not the ghosts of human beings in such he had small belief but an the far horizon of human emotions purposes and passions or endured in this apparently so innocent place to his knowledge the of revolution had here the walls had listened to details of political of projected to vehement of hate of the men who had and dreamed here uplifted in spirit by the magic of terrible ideas none were left one by one they had gone out into the silence to meet death swift handed or lingering as the case might be and what had they actually accomplished he asked himself had their death often as must be of a sufficiently hideous sort really advanced the cause of humanity and helped on the birth of that golden age in which justice shall reign alongside peace or had these men merely wasted themselves adding to the sum total of human confusion and wrong and wasted the hearts and happiness of those allied to them by ties of friendship and of blood leaving the second generation to repair in so far as it might the ruin which their violence had worked could not say but this at least though it of reproach he could not disguise from namely that out of the heat and of these men s thought and action had come as a necessary consequence the narrow opportunities and cold of his own as physically so morally he said to himself the younger generation pays the debts contracted by the generation immediately preceding it justice indeed already always has done so justice of a rather tremendous sort but peace peace is still very much to seek both for the individual and the race visited his mother s bed chamber he visited his former nursery then he visited the drawing room the far horizon the heart of this very pathetic shrine where the altar of his dead was visibly set up to this room during the many years of his mother s mental illness he had come back daily after work and had to her his speech to her passing humour trying to her brooding melancholy and to soothe and amuse her as though she was an child thank god there was nothing ugly to remember regarding her she had never been harsh or in her ways still the strain of constant intercourse with her had been very great how great bad hardly until now as he stood in the centre of the room its former appearance in thought and its familiar there to the left of the further window overlooking the garden she had always sat so that the light might fall upon her very fine irish lace in the making of which nearly au her waking hours were spent she had learned the beautiful art as a young girl in her school and her skill in it was great in those sad later years when her mind was clouded the intricate designs and endless variety of delicate and ingenious had come to have for her full of mystic significance li them she poured forth her soul as another might pour it forth in music finding there an imaginative language far surpassing in its of suggestion articulate speech there were deserts of net of spider s web to be laboriously traversed hills of difficulty to be climbed whence far disclosed themselves dainty flower gardens crossed by open paths and about with curves and full of pretty and there were to her vaguely and even fearful things in this also of outline broken purposes of opposing intentions struggle of good and the far horizon evil powers in the of some rich or monotonous of design which distressed her as with the terrors of imprisonment and of fate she was filled with feverish anxiety until such portions of her self imposed task were completed then she would be glad and glancing up silently from the pages of his newspaper or book would see the sorrow pass out of her face as she leaned back in her chair and softly laughed and he would perceive that in the achievement of those countless but carefully ordered she had also achieved some mysterious victory of the spirit which for a time at least would give her freedom of soul and content as a boy he had been rather jealous of her declaring that it was dearer to her than he himself was but as he grew more experienced more and it must be added more sad he had come to understand | 32 |
that it was as speech to her though speech which he could but rarely interpret expressing all that she could not or dared not otherwise express all the poetry of her sweet broken nature its denied aspirations in religion its tortured memories of danger and of love now standing in the centre of the empty room and looking at the place beside the window where she habitually sat seemed to see once more as he had so often seen in the past her fine drawn and softly waved hair her head and shoulders draped in a black the lines of which followed those of her figure as she bent over her work he could see the long delicate white hands moving with the assurance of skill over the web in its varying degrees of whiteness from the of the net foundation to the of the closely wrought pattern those hands in their ceaseless and exquisite industry had troubled his imagination at times for too often the far horizon it had seemed as though they alone were really alive intelligent the rest of the woman dead the impression was so vivid even yet though knew it to be only projected by the of remembrance that instinctively he crossed the room laid his left hand upon the of the high leaned over the vacant which appeared to hold her image and spoke gently to her so that the moving hands might find rest for a moment while she recognised and greeted him looking up there had always been a pause before the words of greeting came while her consciousness travelled back hesitatingly to the actual and material world around her from the world of emotion and in which her spirit lived there was a pause now a prolonged silence broken at last by the cough of the little old downstairs the vacant space remained vacant nevertheless received both recognition and greeting and from these derived inward assurance that all was well that he was justified of his past action that he had not the possibilities of his life but sacrificed them to a higher duty than any individual and private one the present might be empty of purpose and pleasure the future lacking in promise and in hope yet to him one perfect thing had been granted namely a human relationship of beauty notwithstanding all its sadness from first to last and in the strength of that meat one should surely be able to go many days he said as he straightened himself up thank god i never failed her how far she it or not is but a small matter i am obscure perhaps as things now stand wholly superfluous still i have at all events never grasped personal advantage at the expense of a fellow creature s heart yet even so the longing for sympathy and companion the far horizon ship oppressed him as never before the sight of this place had stirred his affections and his spiritual sense his soul cried out for some language in which to express itself even though it were a language of symbol only such as his mother had found in her how barren and a thing was the exterior life as all those whom he knew understood and lived it his his fellow clerks the good his late employer sir barking even as he divined that clergyman whom he had met this afternoon as against the interior life suggestion of which this vacant shadow haunted house of innumerable memories presented to his mind was there any method by which the interior and exterior life could be brought into sane and fruitful relation so that the former might sensibly and the latter the comfortable inward conviction just vouchsafed him that he was justified of his own past action merely his consciousness that he was still very much adrift with no definite port to steer for he had perhaps promised george that he would stay on at s green but what after all did that amount to even the exterior life was second hand enough there the interior life as he judged practically non and so his staying must be by some purpose beyond that of stepping across to smoke an after dinner pipe with the good affectionate man or attending his wife s at homes during the last ten days mr had with rare pathetic diligence to cultivate amusement true the oak had shut him out from but with that and a few other exceptions amusement as practised in great cities is merely a matter of cash therefore he had dined at smart had theatres and music halls the far horizon had sat in the park and watched the world and in their more decent the flesh and the devil drive by he had to admit that unfortunately all this left him cold had bored rather than entertained him he had not felt out of place his natural dignity and of mind were alike too strong for that but he had arrived at the conclusion that you must have learned the of the art of amusement in early youth if you are to practise it with satisfaction to yourself in i middle age and he very certainly had not learned the not anyhow according to the english fashion he had been aware during these social excursions that he was a good deal stared at and even commented on at first he supposed this arose from some peculiarity of his dress or manner then he understood that the cause of this attention bore a more flattering j and in this connection certain remarks made by the lady of the dust occurred to his mind but mr pride being greatly in excess of his f vanity when the first moment of half humorous surprise was passed he found that these to his personal appearance afforded him more displeasure than pleasure he turned | 32 |
from them with a movement of annoyance and turned from those places in which they were to manifest themselves likewise no indeed it was something other than this he had to find something lying far deeper in the needs of human nature if the of his days was to be filled and the hunger of his heart and spirit satisfied pondering which things he went down the creaking stairs of the house in holland street leaving the empty and to him sacred rooms to the crouching shadows he had had his answer from the one person whom he had perfectly loved and surely in the that answer gave promise of hope for th future the far horizon the way would be made clear the method would declare itself let him have patience only patience as she his mother had had when deserts and climbing difficulty hill in her and to him also should far be disclosed in the narrow hall the neat little old met him the rent is low sir he said and the landlord is asking no if you should wish further particulars or to inspect the offices but mr put a couple of half crowns into his hand no he answered i do not propose to take the house persons who were dear to me lived here once and so i wanted to see it as long as it is i may come back from time to time the old man his feet upon the bare boards looking with mild ecstasy at the and you will be most welcome sir he said your generosity happens to be of great assistance to me not that i wish it repeated i am not grasping sir but i am grateful i have a taste in literature which my reduced circumstances do not allow me to gratify i see the prospect of many hours enjoyment before me i thank you chapter viii and so it came about that a more tranquil spirit touched with sober gladness possessed as leaving that house of many memories he pursued his way down church street and passing into high street opposite st mary s church turned eastward once again a few doors short of the leading into palace gardens was an italian where he proposed to dine for it grew late he had spent longer than he had supposed in prayer before the altar of his dead the remembrance of the book loving little s gratitude remained by him pleasantly softening his humour towards all his fellow men simple kindness has great virtue to the heart to it seemed those five shillings had been eminently well invested the streets were clearer now and he walked slowly enjoying the cooler air bom of the sunset and drawing from the leafy spaces of gardens and the park presently he became aware of a figure not altogether its way among the stream of along the pavement a few paces his eyes followed it reluctantly iti his present peaceful humour its aspect struck a note soiled white flannel trousers a short blue coat a soft grey felt hat shoes a and uncertain gait as of one who neither knows nor cares whither he is going or why he goes the whole effect then followed a little scene which caused to further his pace for the figure reaching the far horizon the open door of the hesitated standing between the bay trees set in green which the entrance on either hand stepped aside upward to see over the yellow silk curtains drawn across the lower half of the windows moved back to the door and stood there finally as a smiling waiter on arm came forward the man crushed his hat down on his forehead forced his hands deep into his pockets and turned away with an audible oath this brought him face to face with mr who recognised in him his fellow mr de what you he exclaimed while his face there seems no escape from our dear lodge to night then with an uneasy laugh he made an effort to recover himself really i beg your pardon mr he continued but my nerves on edge i have just met those two young and home arm in arm like a pair of having to associate with such third rate commercial fellows and witness their of mutual admiration makes a man of education like myself utterly sick i came out this evening to get free of the whole lodge lot you did the same i suppose pray don t let me your purpose i with it i will remove myself the red had died out of the speaker s face notwithstanding the warmth of the evening he stood with his shoulders raised and his knees a little bent as a poorly clad man stands in a chill wind on a wintry day observed his attitude and in his present mood it influenced him more than the surly greeting had done i intended to dine here he said quietly so i fancy did you f i the far horizon oh i have changed my mind thank you answered in consequence of my arrival i am afraid no i had other reasons in any case i should be very glad if you would your decision and remain said i am as you see alone and i have not often the pleasure of meeting you i shall be very happy if you will stay and dine with me as my guest gave an odd look at the open door of the and the row of white tables within a light had come into his pale blue eyes making them like those of some half starved animal i am at a loss to know why i should accept hospitality from you he remarked at once and simply because you would give me pleasure by doing so i should value your society i am not in evening dress nor am i answered | 32 |
with admirable seriousness there was something pitiful to him in the conflict obviously going forward in the other s mind between hunger and reluctance to an obligation he cut it short with gentle authority there is a vacant table in the comer where we can talk free from interruption let us go in and secure it at the beginning of the meal the conversation was the burden of supporting it lying with mr but as course followed course hot and while the at once his circulation and stimulated his brain de became not to say finally he began to assert himself to thereby laying bare the waste places of his own nature you may think i was hard on and the far horizon ton just now mr he said i own they disgust me not only in themselves but as examples of certain modem tendencies which are choking the life out of me and such men as me you business people are on the up grade just now and you know it whoever goes under you are safe to do yourselves most uncommonly well i don t mean anything personal of course i am just stating a self evident fact commerce is in the air you all of success and so even like and that thrice odious grow sleek and venture to spread themselves in the presence of their in the presence of a scholar and a gentleman who is well connected and has received a classical education like myself paused turning sideways to the table leaning his elbow on it crossing his legs and staring gloomily down the long room but what do they know or care about he continued what they do know is that the spirit of this vulgar age is with them and their miserable they know that well enough and act upon it though they are too to put it into words know that trade is in process of learning of literature and art to its own low purposes in process of in short and out the gods had listened to this astonishing in silence the man was evidently suffering from feelings of bitter injury also he was his guest both pity and hospitality engaged him to endurance but there are limits and at this point professional dignity and a lingering loyalty towards the house of barking brothers barking protest no doubt we live in times of commerce rather than in those of chivalry he remarked still i venture to the far horizon think your condemnation is too sweeping one should surely between trade and only as one between a little dog and a big one the little dog is the easier to kick i can t get at the and and so i go for the and answered in principle i am right trade commerce with the names as you like it all comes back to the same thing in the end namely the murder of intellect by money comes back to the worship of chosen ruler of this contemptible fin de and safe to be even more the ruler of the coming century what hope i ask you is left for us poor devils of literary men none absolutely none just in proportion as we honour our calling and refuse to our talents we are at a the powers that be have no earthly use for us we have not the ghost of a chance he altered his position looking quickly and nervously at his host i beg your pardon he said for the moment i forgot you were on the other side among the not the conquered probably this conversation does not interest you in the least on the contrary it interests me very deeply replied gravely all the same out of self respect i ought to hold my tongue about it i suppose for i have accepted the position mr i have learned to do that only on each fresh occasion that it is brought home to me and it has been brought home clearly to night my rises at it and it ought to be so for it is an outrage you yourself must admit that a man who started with excellent prospects and with the consciousness of unusual talents of genius perhaps should be the far horizon ruined and broken while every miserable little he leaned his elbows on the table hiding his face in his hands and his shoulders shook for i have talent he cried in a curiously thin voice before i have they may refuse to publish me refuse to play me force me to pick up scraps of on fourth rate papers to earn a bare at times hardly that yet all the same no beast of an editor or actor manager curse the whole lot shall rob me of my faith in myself of my belief that i am great if i had justice nothing less than that i tell you nothing less than great drew himself up sitting very still his lips rigid not from defect but from excess of sympathy the was empty now save for a man four tables down safely behind the pink pages of an evening paper and for a couple at the far end in the window a young whose hat and trim rounded figure were against the yellow silk curtain and a black haired youth with a skin like pale pink satin round and an moustache his attention was entirely occupied with the young woman hers entirely occupied with herself and of this was glad for the matter immediately in hand was best conducted without witnesses he found it strangely strangely moving however vain however madly exaggerated even de s estimate of himself there could be no question but that his present emotion was as actual and genuine as his past hunger had been the man was utterly spent in | 32 |
body and in spirit offensive in speech in person yet these distasteful things added to rather than from going out of sympathy towards him he had rarely been in contact the far horizon with a fellow creature in such of distress it was terrible to witness yet it gave him a sense of fellowship of even of power which had in it an element of deep seated satisfaction while he waited for the moment when it should become clear to him how to act his thought travelled back to the lady of the dust he saw not her over red lips but her serious eyes saw her tearful and in a way broken for all her light speech her fanciful garments and her with her absurd little dogs amid the sweetness of sunshine and summer breeze on common she was far enough away so he judged in sentiment and circumstance from the and poverty haunted man sitting opposite to him yet though so they were alike in this that both had dared to reveal themselves passing beyond conventional limits in intercourse with him both had cried out to him in their distress and then thinking of that recently visited altar of the dead thinking of the one perfect relationship he had known his relationship to his mother it came to him as a revelation that not in the pride of life and the splendour of it still less association in mere pleasure and amusement forms the which together the of humanity in stable and relationship but association in sorrow the cry for help and the response to that cry whether it be help to the staying of the hunger of the heart and of the intellect or simply to the staying of that yet very searching hunger of nerves and an empty stomach the revelation was partial so to speak in the light of it uncertain and dazzled but he received it as real an idea the magnitude of which in inspiration and application he was as yet by no means equal to measure still he believed that could he but yield himself to it and in yielding master the far horizon it it would carry him very far teaching him that language of the spirit which he desired to acquire and hence placing in his hand that earnestly key to an between the exterior and interior life the life of the senses and the life of the spirit which must needs and alike in triumphant harmony meanwhile there sat de eyed sandy red bearded trying poor wretch to rally whatever of manhood was left in him and himself out of his fit of the latin however dignified is instinctively more than the saxon leaned across the table and laid his hand on the other man s shoulder wait a little he said drink your coffee and smoke we need not hurry to move there was a pause during which swallowed his coffee swallowed his of i have made an ass of myself he said sullenly no no answered you have honoured me by taking me into your confidence it rests with me to see that you never have cause to regret having done so i believe you mean that certainly i mean it answered s hands trembled as he took a cigar and held a match to it i am to meeting with kindness he said in a low voice then recovering himself somewhat he began to speak again of course i understand it all well enough they are simply afraid of my work those beasts of and it is too big for them they dare not face it and the consequences of it it is strong stuff mr strong stuff with plenty the far horizon of red blood in it and with too and so they pigeon hole my stories and in self defence knowing that if these once reached the public either in print or in action their own fly blown productions would be off the stage or would ruin the circulation of the which inserted them it is all jealousy i tell you mr rank jealousy bred by self interest out of fear a truly exalted he shifted his position again setting his elbows upon the table and the broken bread upon the cloth at times when i can rise above the immediate injustice and cruelty which pursue me he went on i glory in my i range myself alongside those heroes of literature and art who because they were ahead of the age in which they lived were scorned and by their but they found their revenge in the worship of succeeding generations my time will come just as theirs did it must i tell you it must i know that i am safe of recognition but i want it now while i am alive while i can myself with the joy of it i want to see the men who lord it over me just because they have influence and money who affect to despise me because they are green with envy and fear of me brought to their knees so that i can wipe my boots on them and and he looked full at spreading out both hands across the narrow table his pale prominent eyes blood shot his face working i want to see else a woman brought to her knees also i want to make her feel what she has lost curse her and have her come back and if she did come back asked almost sternly what would you do forgive her the far horizon de s hands dropped with a queer little on the table i don t know i suppose so if she wanted to she could always get round me then he turned on with hysterical violence but what do you know why do you ask that are you among her i trusted | 32 |
you i you were a gentleman in feeling and it is a dirty trick to get me in here and fill me up with food and liquor when you must have seen my nerves were all to pieces and then spring this upon me oh hell he cried is there no comfort anywhere is a traitor and seeing his utter heart went out to the unhappy man in and pity i am grieved he said gently if i have pained you but truly i have sprung nothing upon you how could i do so i know nothing whatever of your circumstances save that which you yourself have told me during the last hour then why did you ask that question about about her because answered i am ready to fight for you in as far as you will allow me to do so but i do not fight against women you must have had uncommonly little experience of them then answered with a sneer to this observation mr deemed it superfluous to make any answer a silence followed the was empty but for the who stood in a little knot about the door amusing themselves by watching the movement of the street looking round to make sure no one was within hearing rose to his feet you meant what you said just now mr a the far horizon that you were ready to fight for me he asked yet certainly i meant it replied the i have made being respected yes yes of course but what do you understand by fighting for me money had risen too he remained for a moment in thought within reasonable relation to my means yes he said i only want my chance the other asserted the rest will follow as a matter of course you would risk nothing mr it would be an simply an the play is not finished yet i have been too and disgusted recently to be able to work at it but it is great i tell you great when it is done will you give me my chance and take a theatre for me and a couple of again thought for a moment and again driven by that strange necessity of though knowing all the while he was putting his hand to a very questionable adventure he in the affirmative chapter ix on that same evening and at the same hour at which bound himself to the practical assistance of a personally and unsuccessful a conversation was in progress between two persons of more exalted social station in the drawing room of a pleasant house in square the said drawing room mid in aspect was decorated in white and gold and green the ground of the was very white sprinkled over with of shaded roses unknown to lady tea grown was white and also for she was still in half mourning for her father the late lord who had died some eighteen months previously at a very venerable age and with a touching modesty as though his advent in another world might of intrusion he had always been a humble minded man he remained so to the last the windows stood open to the balcony and the effect of the woman and of the soft lights and colours surrounding her was for at the age of fifty lady though stately was a mild and very gentle person upon whom the push of the modern world had laid no hand all the active drama of her life had been crowded into a few weeks of the early summer of her year since which now remote period she had enjoyed a tranquil existence happy in the love of her husband and the care of her children her pretty brown hair was beginning to turn grey upon the temples her eyes set remarkably far apart had a certain and a great innocence of expression she was naturally timid and cared but uttle for any society be the far horizon that of her near relations to night she was particularly content mildly radiant even thanks to the presence of her favourite brother the present lord and his admiration of her younger daughter a maiden of nineteen who stood before her with shining eyes in all the delicate splendour of a ball dress yes darling you look very sweet she said just lean down the lace has got caught in the flowers on your that s right don t keep your father too late and in all things be discreet this from lord it s been my motto through life as your mother knows and you couldn t have a brighter example of the excellent results of it than myself good night my dear enjoy yourself and he patted her on the cheek avoiding the kiss which she in all innocence proffered him pretty child uncommonly pretty he continued as the door closed behind the graceful it strikes me con your girls have all the good looks of the family in the younger generation with the exception of violet but she s getting pinched a bit pinched and witch like then she makes up too much i have no prejudice against a woman s improving upon nature where nature s been but it is among the things that ll keep it s a mistake to begin it too early in my opinion violet has begun it too early might quite well have given herself another ten years grace s girls are you know and between ourselves so terribly flat poor things both fore and aft upon my word i m not surprised they don t marry i am afraid feels it a good deal said lady satisfaction mingled with pity in her soul the of other women s children are never the far horizon wholly distressing to a tender mother s heart you see she s so anxious the girls should not marry | 32 |
the bishop s and yet really they hardly see any other young men i think it is a very difficult position that of a bishop s wife lord smiled settling himself back in the comer of the wide sofa and crossing his long legs he had thought more deeply on a good many subjects than the majority of his acquaintance supposed with the consequence that he occasionally surprised his fellow by the of his observations in debate lord it may be added took his recently acquired office of hereditary with a mixture of humour and seriousness their position is an one he said and an position is inevitably a difficult one ought to be so in my opinion but that s not to the point we were talking not about the ladies but about this little business of s so you believe lady has views and intentions i know that she has but you see lady went on returning to the name which that gentleman had rendered somewhat notorious in earlier years by a record in sport in debts in and in irresistible sweetness of temper i want to be quite sure he is really good because the affair has not gone very far yet and it might be put a stop to at least i hope and think it might without making darling too dreadfully unhappy you do believe he really is good lord leaned forward and rubbed a hardly perceptible of off his left leg just above the ankle my dear con he answered you are very charming but you are a trifle embarrassing too you know the far horizon haven t you learned even at this time of day that very few men in our world are good in a good woman s sense of the word lady s smooth forehead into fine little lines dear she said you re not getting i hope me bless you no never in life he returned smiling very at her don t worry yourself under that head i quarrel with nobody and nothing not even the consequences of my past it is a very just world take it all and has been kinder to me than i deserve oh but you do nothing you you are what you won t think me rude what the boys call very decent now lady spoke hurriedly her colour rising in the most engaging manner as decent as i know how you dear soul he said taking her hand in his but that makes no difference to one s knowledge of one s own ways in the past or of the ways of other men but barking neither better nor worse than the rest then lord shut his small and beautiful mouth very tight as though he would be glad to avoid further cross questioning lady s forehead remained it s dreadfully difficult when one s girls grow up she said one can be comfortable about them poor and enjoy them when they are in the nursery even in the though are worrying they know so much about quantities of subjects which seem to me not to matter one never to them in ordinary and if one should the far horizon be to it is so easy to ask somebody to tell one and yet they manage to make me fed dreadfully uncomfortable and ignorant because i know nothing about them but when they grow who the lord inquired i never supposed they stood in need of that process thought they started out of the egg all finished as you might say and ran about at once like chickens no no the girls poor lady replied one does get dreadfully anxious about them really one does specially if one has escaped something very and has been very happy lest they should fall in love with the wrong people or lest they should be anything which one did not know beforehand and then everything should turn out dreadful i should be so miserable i don t think i could bear it i know it is wrong to say that because if one was really good one would accept whatever god sent without murmuring so i could for myself i think in any case i should earnestly try to but for the children it is so much harder if they were unhappy i should feel ashamed of having had them as if i d done something horribly selfish because you see there can be nothing so delightful as having children she looked at lord in the most pathetic manner the comers of her mouth a shake and he took her hand and held it again touched by the sincerity of her confused utterance and the great mother love resident in her touched perhaps by the age old problem of man and maid also dear little con dear little con he said i m awfully sorry you should be worried but i m afraid we ve got to look facts in the face and it s no kindness for me to lie to you about these matters i don t pretend to say what s right or what s wrong x only say what it is we the far horizon can t make society and the ways of it all over again even to save a i don t want to seem a brute but she must just take her chance along with the rest of you marriage always has been a confounded uncertain business and will always remain so i suppose the sort of excited persons suggest to the dangers of it are a good deal worse than the disease in my opinion every woman has to take her chance every man has to take his too you know and the chance strikes some of us as such an uncommonly poor one that upon my honour it seems safest to wash one | 32 |
s hands of it altogether but you re not unhappy dear you re not lonely lady inquired anxiously so sometimes con but i manage oh i manage i have my he smiled at her perhaps a trifle but now about he went on as i say she must take her chance along with the rest of you poor little dear after all you took your chance when you married and it has not turned out so badly you know lady became radiant once more as some mild shining summer moon emerging from behind temporarily clouds oh but then she said of course that was so entirely different lord patted her hand his head bent looking at her somewhat merrily was it my dear was it i wonder he said she withdrew her head with a certain dignity notwithstanding her softness and tenderness there were occasions even with those she loved best when lady could delicately mark her displeasure i think you are a little she asserted the far horizon he leaned back still smiling and shaking his head at her old and wise old and not quite such a fool as i used to be that s all he answered for a time there was silence both brother and sister thinking their own thoughts then the latter spoke like many gentle persons she was persistent she always had been so i should be so grateful if you would tell me because i think i ought to know and then i should try to turn the course of darling s affections before it all becomes too pronounced is there any anything to what one calls an in well you understand against barking lord got up took a turn across the room came back and stood in front of her i wish you wouldn t con he said upon my soul i wish you wouldn t it s a nasty thing for an old man who has gone the pace in his day pretty thoroughly to give away a lad who may have made a slip just at the start and who is doing his best to get his feet again and run straight barking s a good fellow i like him i never have been and never shall be partial to that family your sister cried up their virtues and their confounded in the old days till she made them a positive nuisance she s not a happy way of a moral lesson hasn t but i own i m fond of this boy he s far the best of the whole lot and a and unusually so for one of that family and my dear he s downright honestly in love with i ve watched him did so when he was down at one day last month with her and victoria and i know the real thing when i see it but but i am afraid you mean me to f the far horizon understand there is some lady repeated oh well hang it all fm awfully sorry but if you are determined to have it perhaps there is only for heaven s sake don t be in too much of a hurry between ourselves i happen to know the boy s doing his best to shake himself free in an honourable manner so don t rush the business like the dear tender hearted creature you are have a little mercy on the poor beggar let the whole affair drift a little it may out lady meditated for a minute or so it s very dreadful that there should be any she said i ll back to agree with you there lord answered you ll do what you can won t you to help i never forget how you helped me once lord s handsome face expressed rather broad amusement i m afraid the two cases are hardly parallel my dear he said chapter x the play s on the other side the crowd s on the other side all the fun s on the other side and i am on this side with nothing more lively than you you little idiot for company st john drew the s long ears her fingers slowly i am bored she said with a which she made not the slightest effort to bored right through to my very oh dear oh dear oh dear how i do wish something would happen sat propped up with scarlet silk cushions in a cane deck chair on the white balcony upon which the first floor bedroom windows opened around her were strewn illustrated magazines and ladies papers but the stories in the former appeared to her every bit as silly as the fashion plates in the latter both had equally little to do with life as the ordinary flesh and blood human being lives it she was filled with a rebellious sense of the of her surroundings this afternoon even from her of upon the balcony whence wide prospects disclosed themselves looked foolish of the nature of an stale joke the said balcony divided into separate by the of wooden extended the whole length of the terrace of twenty seven houses and these were all precisely alike with white wood and as the phrase has it cheap stained and glass adorned the upper of the twenty seven front doors which were approached by twenty seven flights of steps thus securing a measure the far horizon of light and air to the twenty seven the front doors were set in couples with couples of bay windows there was a determination of cheap a self consciousness about the little houses a suggestion of having put on their best and high shoes and standing very much on to attract attention the narrow where the upper on them wide where the house fronts were above the twin front doors broke forth into a of flower | 32 |
boxes of pink creeping and backed by white or yellow paris flowed outward between the white and the edge of the the effect though pretty was not quite satisfactory being suggestive of of an over trimmed summer hat immediately below was the bordered by an pavement on either side then the high impenetrable oak which had baffled maiden effort at in the amusements of the rich from s balcony however the offered no to observation all the green expanse of the smaller ground was visible so was the whole height of the grove of majestic elms on the right and the back of the club house and and the left between of a vista of sloping towards the river peopled by a crowd it was upon this last that directed her gaze to the naked eye the it showed as lines of grey brown and black blotted with bright delicate colour and here and there with white the whole mingling breaking into fresh fashion through the opera glasses figures of men women and horses detached themselves becoming distinct neat as toys an assemblage the far horizon los of elegant highly finished there was a fascination in watching the movement of these clear cut silent little things upon that carpet of grass but it was a fascination which for had by now worn somewhat thin the interest proved too far away too indeed it may be questioned whether any who have not within themselves large store of resignation or of hope can look on at gaiety in which they have no share without first sadness and then pretty lively irritation and of those two most precious resignation and hope had but limited reserve stock at present so she pulled the little dog s ears rather hard and lamented oh my good gracious me if only something would happen then the words hardly out of her mouth she shot the much enduring off her lap and restoring her elbows on the rails leaned right out over the balcony come here dear beautiful lunatic come here she cried for pity s sake don t pass by perhaps fortunately this very invitation was lost upon crossing the road with due of the of the drivers of cars and of looking up he was aware of a vision quite sufficiently of welcome without added of words the white the trailing fringe of leaves and orange scarlet blossoms the woman s bust and shoulders in her string coloured lace gown her small face curiously vivid in effect by the heavy masses of her black hair her singular eyes full of light the red of her lips and tinge of stationary pink in her cheeks by a glow of quick excitement a few weeks ago the in might have taken alarm now it was different he had his idea and walking the far horizon in the strength of it dared adventure himself in otherwise slightly questionable five minutes later advanced across the little drawing room to meet him well she said of course you might have come sooner but equally of course you might never have come at all so i won t quarrel with you about the delay though i would like you to know it has worried me a good deal has it i am sorry for that answered gravely yes be sorry be sorry she repeated it is comfortable to hear you say so she looked at him with the utmost frankness took his hand and led him to a filling in the right angle between the fireplace and the double doors at the back of the room sit down she said and let us talk have another cushion so and if you re good i ll give you tea presently and understand you needn t be careful of yourself i ll play perfectly fair with you i ve been thinking it all out during this time you didn t come and i never go back on my word once given so look here you needn t account for yourself in any way i don t even want to know your name specially i don t want to know that it might you and i don t want to have you directly a person is it takes away their to one one begins to see just all the places where they belong to somebody else struck up everywhere warning one to keep os the grass and that s a nuisance it raises old nick in one and makes one long to commit all manner of wickedness which would never have entered one s head otherwise held her hands palm to palm between her knees the far horizon glancing at now and again sideways as she spoke the of her dress cut slightly en showed the of her neck and the whole of her throat which was smooth and rounded though rather long her make altogether was that not uncommon to london girls of the lower middle class small and possibly but prettily and with an attraction of over as of hot house grown plants just now her head seemed bowed down by the weight of her dark hair as she sat gathered together making herself small as child will when its mind to the statement of some serious purpose i ve knocked about a lot she went on it s right you should know that and there s not very much left to tell me about a number of things not usually set down in conversation books designed for but just on that account i may be rather useful to you in some ways don t go and be offended now there s a dear good man she added because judging by what you told me the other day there s no doubt that under some heads you are very much of a i suppose i am said slowly it was very strange to him to find himself | 32 |
in so sudden and close an intimacy with this at once so wise and so artificial woman creature but he had his idea moreover he trusted her of course you are she asserted that s just where the beauty of it all comes in you re the infant one has only to look into your face to see that don t go and up now you belong to another order of doctrine and practice to that current in society gazed at the floor still making herself small the palms of her hands pressed together between her knees the far horizon and that s just why you can be useful to me awfully useful if you choose i don t mean money business anything of the kind i m perfectly competent to manage my own affairs thank you but you re good for me somehow you rest me she began to rock herself gently backwards and forwards but without taking the heels of her shoes off the ground yes you rest me you rest me she repeated i am glad said he felt pleased thankful almost again glanced at him sideways yes i believe you are she said and that shows things have happened to you in you more likely since we last met you have come on a great piece i doubt if i have come on so much as gone back to influences of long ago he answered to things which had been by the dust of my working years almost to the point of was it pleasant to go back asked not at all the going was painful it required some courage to brush off the dust it usually does require courage at least that s my experience to brush off the dust made no immediate answer he was a little startled at his companion s acute reading of him a little touched by her confidence her words seemed to suggest the possibility of a relationship which fitted in admirably with the development of his idea he sat looking away across the room and doing so became aware that the said room possessed unexpected characteristics calculated to his impressions of its owner s character it was a man s room rather than a woman s innocent of and two low wide well furnished with cushions and the far horizon in dark red fitted into the comers on either side the double doors a couple of large and a book table occupied the centre of the room an upright piano in an case draped across the back with an indian of looking glass set in worked yellow holes forming the border of it stood at right angles to the wall just short of the bay window in the window placed wise was a carved black oak writing table a long row of photographs stuck up against the back shelf of it the walls were hung with a set of william s prints strong dark distinct slightly sinister in effect a fine of s and in noticeable contrast to this last a of s picture of lady spinning upon the book table were a silver ash tray and box the air was unquestionably with the of tobacco which the burning of scent sticks quite failed to while mr thus noted the details of his surroundings his companion observed him closely intently suddenly she flung herself back against the piled up cushions let the dust lie let it lie sh cried almost and as turned to her surprised at her vehemence she added yes it s safest so let it lie till it grows thick all the surface so that treading on it one s footsteps are muffled making no sound jumped up crossed swiftly to the writing table swept the long row of photographs together and pushed them into a drawer there you go face downwards every man jack of you she said and for all i care there you may stay the far horizon then she turned round who had risen also her head carried high her teeth set you may not grasp the connection of ideas i don t the very least see how you should and i ve no extra special wish that you should but you must just take my word for it that s one way of the dust in my particular case and not half a bad way either she pushed the heavy masses of her hair up from her forehead crossed the little room again and stood before smiling her hands clasped behind her back yes you rest me she said you do even more than i expected i wanted awfully to see you and yet i was half afraid if i did we t pull the thing off but we are going to pull it off aren t we this direct appeal demanded a direct answer and looking down at her felt to a certain of resolve yes we are he said gravely that at least is my purpose i have very few friends i should value a new one then he added with a certain i am glad you are not disappointed ah you have come on not a question about it cried sit down again you needn t go yet and we are through with for this afternoon anyhow an anti as the weather reports put it is extending over all our i feel quite happy let me enjoy the anti while it lasts and i ll give you your tea but of that tea was fated not to drink a ring at the bell a at the front door followed by the advent of an elderly bearing a card on a small tray his says if you re engaged he could wait a little ma am but he wants particularly to see you to day the far horizon took the card glanced at it and then at i | 32 |
m afraid i m awfully afraid i shall have to let you go she said she took both his hands and holding them without pressure but with a great friendliness went on don t be offended or you ll make me miserable but he s an old friend and he s been a perfect brick to me stood by me through all my worst luck i can t send him away you won t be offended no said and you will come again you make me feel au smooth and good you promise you ll come yes said in the narrow passage a tall eminently well dressed middle aged gentleman stood aside to let him pass received the impression of a very handsome person whose possible insolence of bearing received agreeable thanks to the expression of kindly humorous eyes and a beautiful mouth upon the centre table of the square first floor at lodge a note awaited mr addressed in george s neat business hand dear old friend it ran the wife asks you to take supper with us to morrow night step across as early as you like my cousin miss is paying us a visit yours faithfully g l n b come as you are no ceremony g l chapter xi called the red and green as it helped itself up the side of its cage with as well as claws had opened the door suddenly then seeing that mr alone occupied the room neither her host nor hostess being present she paused in the doorway a large yellow silk work bag in her hands whether to retreat or to proceed and it was thus that the bird discovering her advent announced it while the pupils of his hard round grey eyes dilated and contracted snapped as would have said was a tall elegant faded woman dressed in black her little upright head balanced upon a long thin stalk of neck though faded there was as now seen in the quiet evening light a suggestion of about her he brown eyes pretty though rather small snapped even as did those of the excitement to night she was very much excited invariably produced in an of clutching at her an effect sufficiently pathetic in the case of a woman well on in the and it was precisely this ineffectual throw back to a of seventeen or eighteen which lent a sharp edge of irony to the of the as it called out again s own pet then with a prolonged and ear piercing whistle hi four s going out and hoarsely with a growl in its throat move on there can t yer shut the door the far horizon during the delivery of these final mr had recognised the shadowy figure standing on the threshold and advanced this decided still twisting the ribbons of the yellow work bag round her thin fingers she drifted into the room i think i have had the pleasure of meeting you once or twice before miss said his manner was specially gentle and for he could not but feel the poor lady was at a disadvantage owing to the very articulate of the oh yes answered certainly we have met but you are wrong as to the number of times it is more than once or twice five times i think or it may have been six no it is five because i remember you were expected in the evening the day before i went home the winter before last and at the last moment you were unable to come that would have made six now it is five you have an excellent memory said it is kind of you to remember so clearly i wonder if it is i mean i wonder whether it is kind rejoined she was quite innocent of any intention of sarcasm but her mind like those of so many and consequently self occupied persons was to speculation of a minor and sort she was also liable as such persons often are to mistake for spirit and wit a most tedious error still you are right in saying i have a good memory she added people generally observe that but then i was always taught it was rude to forget forgetfulness is the result of at school i never had any in learning by heart you must have found that both a useful and pleasant talent the far horizon don t you it s where her elder sister miss this aside to gave an address once to the members of the society for the of the jews no doubt i remember but is always giving addresses somewhere said and very good and kind of her it is to give addresses mrs rejoined even the dear says what a remarkable gift she has as a speaker and there s no question as to the worth of his praise i wonder if it is i mean i wonder if it is good and kind of to give addresses remarked because of course she giving them likes to have a number of people listening to her but if the object is a noble one this from mrs a little and put about still if you enjoy doing anything how can it be good and kind to do it said is very fond of i think people very often deceive themselves about their own motives she looked at as she spoke and he looked back at her gravely and kindly though with a slightly amused smile his thoughts had travelled away they had done so pretty frequently during the last twenty four hours to the self conscious little house on the verge of common though it had appeared outwardly yet within it he believed he had found a friend a friend who was also an perhaps as he now reflected all women | 32 |
are certainly they are he thought of he looked at yes doubtless they all are only might heaven forgive him the all are not equally well worth finding out george arrived supper a somewhat heavy the far horizon us of many charity an kindred treasures and deposited her work bag in their company her movement revived the attention of the who had been nodding on its perch poor old take a brandy and kiss and be friends night all it murmured hoarsely half asleep if your question bore reference to that particular animal i stand in no doubt as to my sentiments remarked i am anything but fond of it i think it an odious bird ah you see you do know exclaimed i was sure you did she felt justified in her suspicion of his sincerity but nobody would agree with you mr because of course it is really a very clever they very seldom learn to say so many things how fortunate permitted himself to i don t see why you should say it is fortunate do not its remarks strike you as somewhat impertinent and i wonder if an animal can be impertinent said but here to her vexation for it appeared to her that she had just started a really interesting subject of discussion mrs into the room well mr she began i am sure i am very delighted to see you and so will be he was remarking only yesterday we don t seem to see so much of you as we used to do he s just a little behind time is having been kept by the dear at a meeting about the church workers social evenings at the mission room in little street you wouldn t know where that is mr though i can t help hoping you will some day but knows the far horizon had not herself and her elder sister a person of definite views and commanding character long been resident at in an inland watering place of acknowledged fashion it followed that her on social questions were necessarily final yet to her judgment as against that of the wife was to risk the latter and to the wife would be to act as a heartless scoundrel hence situations for difficult to the point of producing perspiration that night prepared for rest with remarkable clad in a blue and white striped cotton dressing gown she sat long at her toilet table and all the time she wondered a far reaching intricate and wholly wonder hers was a nature which perpetual from possible hearing warning voices from the vague regions of the might be or might she had never grasped the but very important truth that only that which actually is in the least matters and so to arrive at what is with all possible despatch in so far as such arriving is practicable and then to go forward the whole duty of the sane human being far from this s mind forever fitted in the half darkness of innumerable small prejudices and she moved as do so many women of her class in a twilight world un touched alike by the splendour and terror of living nevertheless on this particular occasion as she brushed her hair and inserted the shell pins which should secure to morrow s effects she felt almost daring and dangerous she wondered whether she had really enjoyed the evening or not whether she had held her own and shown independence and spirit she under the quaint early the far horizon notion that in the presence of members of the opposite sex a woman is called upon always to play something of a part she should advance so to speak and then retreat provoke interest by a studied indifference yield a little only to become more fugitive it may be doubted whether these have even been a very successful to feminine charms but in the case of so negative and a creature as they were devoid of result play a part as she might the majority of her audience was wholly unaware that she was in point of fact playing anything at all they might think her a little capricious a little foolish but that there was intention or purpose in her pallid passed the bounds of imagination never mind if the audience had no sense of the position had and she enjoyed it excitement possessed her and her eyes snapped even yet as thinking it all over she fastened the in her hair she wondered whether george and how intensely she disliked the name had any special reason for asking her just now and talking so much about mr or whether it was a coincidence of course it is not of the slightest importance to me whether they have or not she reflected i think it would be rather an impertinence if they had still i think i had better find out but without letting suspect of course if you give her any encouragement is inclined to go too far and say what is rather i always have thought had a rather vulgar mind i wonder if poor george feels that i believe he does before me once or twice to night he was very nervous how dreadfully coarse poor s skin is getting i wonder if has given a hint and if that was what made so gracious about my leaving home but i don t believe she i mean the far horizon that suspected that george and had any particular reason for inviting me i wonder if i shall ever make see that i am not a of course if george and really have any particular reason and comes to know it that will show her that other people do not consider me a i wonder what most people would think of mr of course he has only been a bank clerk but | 32 |
then so has george only then he is a foreigner and that makes a difference i wonder whether if anything came of it would make his being a foreigner an objection but this was growing altogether too definite and with a sort of mental s thought flitted into twilight and regions i think if they have any particular reason it is rather of george and i wonder if it is nice of them if they have i think it is rather i wonder if they have said anything to mr with the aid of a curling pin was the short little hairs just at the of her neck and this last wonder proved so absorbing a one that she remained head bent and fingers with the bars of the till it suddenly occurred to her that she was getting quite stiff if they have i think it is very of them she continued stretching her arms for they ached very how glad i am i was on my guard i wonder if they saw i was on my guard i believe george did i wonder if that helped to make him nervous fastened in the last of the there was no excuse for sitting up any longer yet she lingered i must be more on my guard than ever she said meanwhile after sitting in the dining room with his old friend while the latter smoked a the far horizon last pipe made his way across the green in the deepening mystery of the summer night the sky was and at the untouched by the upward streaming light of the great city the stars showed fair and bright a of wide spaces of far of emotions at once intimate and rooted in things eternal was upon him but of it must be admitted he thought not one little bit chapter only one of the trees from which lodge its name was still standing this lonely giant sombre exile from all that remained of the formerly extensive garden and sensibly darkened the back of the house its foliage spread like a deep pile carpet upon the wide branches was worn and showing small promise of self renewal yet though starved by the exhausted soil and by from chimneys it remained majestic finely as some tree of metal of age old bronze by a of deep eating from the first moment of his acquaintance with lodge it had been to an object of attraction even of sympathy for he recognised in it something an dignity and lofty indifference to the sordid commonplace of its surroundings it made no to adverse circumstances but remained proudly itself for sole comrade the wind that most mysterious of all created things unseen the wind gave it voice gave it even a measure of as it swept through the of dry branches and awoke a music telling of far distant times and places making a shuddering and stirring as of the of long forgotten hope and passion when entered into residence at lodge a pair of stout brown wood from the pleasant elms of holland park had haunted the tree but they being for all their birds of a not to say habit grew weary of its persistent solemnity of aspect so at least the far horizon judged he had been an interested spectator of the love quarrels and of these comely neighbours from his bedroom window daily while dressing but one fine spring morning he saw them fly away and never saw them fly back again clearly they had removed themselves to less solemn quarters leaving the great tree save for fugitive from its comrade the wind to meditation within the borders of its narrow prison place besides presenting in itself an object altogether the performed a practical office whereby it earned gratitude for its dark bulk effectually shut off the view of an new red steam with shiny slate roofs and a huge smoke chimney to it which to the disgust of the of the eastern side of s green had had the impertinence to get itself erected in an adjacent street it followed that when one wet evening yellow headed little mr had advised himself to speak of the tree was prepared to defend it if necessary with some warmth the conversation had ranged round the subject of the hour namely the possibility as yet in the estimation of most persons an incredible one of war with the when the young man indulged in a playful aside addressed to miss at whose right hand he was seated if i could find fault with anything belonging to the lady at the head of the table he said it would be the gloomy old party looking in at these back windows what the dear old tree never mr protested yes it would though he insisted when as tonight it is dripping all over the shop no the far horizon touch of sunny jim about him is these now this to the devoted sitting immediately opposite to him on miss s left truly there is not if i may venture so far the other young gentleman responded playing up and if anything could give me and a fit of the i believe that old fellow would in rainy weather makes you think of the does it not now you have hit it not the station though just starting for a little trip with your best girl up the river for shame mr protested again suggestive of the end of all week ends in short de who contrary to his custom was present at dinner that evening put in one last trip up the river of death for you with a ticket marked not able eh then an hole in the blue clay silence and worms his tone was to the point of commanding attention a hush fell on the company broken only by the drifting sob of the rain | 32 |
incapable but his sitting room had always been a peaceful place refuge alike from the strain and monotony of his working life it held relics moreover wholly dear to him and to introduce into it this and in a sense degraded presence of therefore not without as of one who risks the sacrifice of earnestly cherished security he ushered his guest into the quiet room the gas the small heart shaped flames of which showed white against the dying daylight coming in through the windows was turned low in the lamps on either side the high moved across and drew down the blinds catching sight as he did so between the tossing foliage of the which in the driving of the in the dining room on the other side of the green he remembered that he ought to have called on mrs and miss and that he had been guilty of a lapse of etiquette in not having done so but he reflected poor miss was a person whose existence it seemed so curiously difficult to bear in mind the far horizon then he grew penitent as having added to in permitting himself this reflection he came back from the window turned up the lights drew forward an and to be seated fetched a cut glass spirit and a of from the and set them at his guest s elbow pray help yourself he said and here will you not smoke while we talk s pale prominent eyes had followed these preparations for his comfort with but now the handsome character of his surroundings being fully disclosed to him he was filled with envy silently he filled his glass by no means the amount of down half the contents of the paused a moment leaning his elbow on the table and said we were treated to a public exhibition of feminine in your direction mr at the end of dinner it occurs to me we might have been spared that i have never had the honour of penetrating into your apartments before but the aspect of them is quite sufficient indication as to who is the favoured member of mrs s establishment had remained standing hospitality demanded that he should do all in his power to secure his guest s material comfort but there in his opinion immediate obligation ceased in thus remaining standing he had a quaint sense of the of the place the man s tone was curiously offensive involuntarily mr back a little i took these rooms he said and then added may i ask what your business with me may be had recourse to his again his hand the far horizon shook so that his teeth against the edge of the glass i am a fool he said sullenly but my nerves are all to pieces i cannot control myself i have come here to ask a favour of you and yet some devil me to insult you i hate you because i am driven to make use of you and this room in its sober luxury the of the position offering as it does so glaring a contrast to my own quarters here under the same roof only one flight of stairs above that i can hardly endure it life is unjust for what have you done you a mere of wood and drawer of water to some firm of city to deserve this from anxiety and distress while i with my superior culture my ambition and talents am condemned to that wire upstairs and a job lot of furniture which some previous german waiter has in disgust from his bedroom in the but there i beg your pardon i ought to be accustomed to injustice i have served a long enough to it only partly thanks to you i own that i have seemed to see the dawning of hope again hope of success hope of recognition hope of revenge and just on that account it becomes intolerable to run one s head against this dead wall of poverty and debt he bowed himself together and his voice broke i owe mrs money for my miserable room and my board and i am so horribly afraid she will turn me out the place is detestable unworthy of me of course it is but i am accustomed to it and i am not myself i am terrified at the prospect of any change in short i am worn out and they see that those beasts of the evening daily has given me my i have lost the last of my hack the far horizon j work it was miserable work wholly beneath a man of my capacity still it brought me in a now it is gone practically i am a and i owe money in this house i am sorry very sorry said you should have spoken sooner i could not force myself into your confidence but believe me i have not been of my engagement i have merely waited for you to speak his manner was gentle yet he remained standing still possessed by an instinct to thus the of the place he paused giving the other man time to recover a measure of composure then he asked kindly anxious to conduct the conversation into a happier channel meanwhile how is the play advancing well i hope so that you find solace and satisfaction in the of it moved uneasily looking up at his oh it is grand he said it is grand you need have no anxiety under that head pray understand that anything that you may do for me in the before the play is produced is simply an you need not be in the least alarmed you will see all your money back see it doubled certainly doubled probably i was not thinking of put in quietly but i am asserted naturally i am you | 32 |
do not suppose that i should accept still less ask you help unless i was certain that in the end i should prove to be rather than a favour you me by assuming this attitude of disinterested generosity let me warn you it does not ring true moreover in assuming it you do not treat me as an equal and that i resent it is mean to take advantage the far horizon of my sorrows and my poverty and yourself thus at my expense of course i understand your point of view from your associations and occupations you must inevitably worship the god of wealth one cannot expect anything else from a business man you every one s intellectual capacity by his power of making money well wait then just wait and when that play appears see if i do not compel you to rate my intellectual capacity very highly for there are thousands in that play i tell you of thousands it is only in the that i am reduced to this detestable position of dependence i know the worth of my work if but patience was beginning to wear rather thin he interposed calmly yet with authority pardon me he said but it is to discuss my attitude of mind or my past occupations it will be more agreeable for us both now and in the future to treat any matters that arise between us as as possible therefore i will ask you to tell me simply and clearly how much you require to clear you from immediate difficulty and i will tell you in return whether i am in a position to meet your wishes or not for a sat silent his hands working nervously along the arms of the chair you understand it is merely a temporary yes answered i understand and consequently it is superfluous to indulge in further discussion you want to get rid of me wants to get rid of me i am unwelcome the poor and unsuccessful always are so i suppose but some day the tables will be turned if i can only last and found himself called upon to rally all his humanity all his faith in merciful dealing the far horizon and the reward which goes along with it for it was hard to give hard to so and a being yet put his hand to the plough he refused to look back he had inherited a strain of which took the form of loyalty to his own word once given so he spoke gravely and kindly as one speaks to the sick who are beyond the obligation of showing courtesy for very suffering and truly as he reminded himself this man was sick not only physically from insufficient food but morally from disappointment and that most fruitful source of disease and vanity i do not wish to get rid of you i merely wish to take the shortest and simplest way to relieve you of your more pressing anxieties and so enable you to give yourself to your work want may be a wholesome spur to effort at times but it is difficult to suppose any really sane and well work of art can be produced without a sense of security and of leisure how do you come to know that it is not your province said sharply mr permitted himself to smile and raise his shoulders slightly i come of a race which in the past has given evidence of no small literary and artistic ability the experience of former generations affects the thought of their descendants i imagine and it even when these are not gifted with any talent for some minutes sat staring in front of him at last he rose slowly from his chair i am an ass he said a jealous suspicious ungrateful ass it is more than ever hateful to me to ask a favour of you just because you are and gen the far horizon i wish to goodness i could do without you but i can t so let me have twenty five pounds less would not be of use to me i should only have to draw on you again and i do not care to do that look here can i have it in notes yes said mr i prefer it so there might have been difficulties in a moreover it is unpleasant to me that your name that any name should appear it is only fair to save my self respect as far as you can then as put the notes into his hand he added and his voice was again and in tone i don t i don t explain i do not even thank you why should i since i simply take it as a temporary accommodation until my play is finished my great play which is going i swear before god it is going not only to this paltry debt but a far more important one the debt i owe to my own genius and justify me once and forever in the eyes of the whole english speaking world with that he out of the room letting the handle of the door slip so that it behind him for a while remained standing before the fireplace he was sad at heart he had given generously out of proportion as most persons reckon charitable to his means but though the act was in itself good he was sensible of no warmth no glow of satisfaction the transaction left him cold left him indeed a prey to disgust not only were the man s faults evident but they were of so unpleasant a nature as to all gladness in his distress mechanically straightened the chair which his guest had so lately occupied put away and spirit pulled up the blind and the far horizon opened one of the tall narrow windows set the door giving access to his bed chamber | 32 |
wide and opened a window there too so creating a draught right through the apartment from end to end he desired to clean it both of a physical and a moral atmosphere which were to him and in so doing he let in not only the roar of london borne in a fierce on the breath of the wind but a strange rustling from the sombre foliage and stiff branches of the lonely tree two limbs crossing upon one another as the wind took them uttering at intervals a long drawn complaint not weakly but rather with as of a strong man chained and groaning against his the sound affected deeply in him an almost hopeless sense of the talk at dinner poor little mrs s advances the fact of which it appeared to him equally idle to deny and to admit the dreary scene with his unhappy fellow the good deed done which just now appeared fruitless all these contributed to make the complaint of the s tormented branches an echo of the complaint of his own heart for a long while he listened to these voices of the night the great city the g tree the wind and the wet and listening by degrees he rallied his patience in that he himself after all i have been little else but self seeking he said half aloud for i gave not to the man but to myself i clutched at a personal reward if not of spoken gratitude yet of content it has not come i suppose i did not deserve it and then somehow his thoughts turned to that other human creature who though in a very different fashion to de the had claimed his help he thought not of her over red lips but of her wise the far horizon st john stood on the foot way too she had crossed from the southern side but though by no means insensible to the spirit or the details of the scene around her she was less engaged in watching the drama of the stormy afternoon than in watching as yet unconscious of her presence his tall spare figure grave clean shaven face and calm manner which removed him so singularly from the tinted human beings close about him delighted her artistic sense if one had caught him young she said to herself if one had only caught him young heavenly powers what a time one might have had and yet stayed good oh very quite good indeed then she made her way between much and humanity look at me dear man she said look at me really i am worth it i got home late last night and i was possessed by a great longing to see you excuse my shouting but things in general are making such an infernal clatter i was determined to see you i set my whole mind to making you come and i felt so sure you must come that this afternoon i have thus far to meet you and here you are and here i am stood before him her back against the hand rail of the bridge tell me are you glad she said and surprised yet finding the incident curiously natural answered simply yes i am very glad that s all right she rejoined because after all coming was a pretty lively act of faith on my part i have superstitious turns at times and the weather and things that had happened had made me feel pretty cheap somehow i don t mind telling you as you are here that the far horizon if you d failed me there would have been the devil to pay i should have been awfully cut up still smiled upon her presented herself under a new aspect to day and that aspect found favour in his sight she was no longer the lady of the dust arrayed in fantastic hat and trailing skirts but was clothed in trim black garments which revealed the delicate of her figure and gave her an unexpected air of distinction yet though charmed the caution of pride which in his case was also the caution of modesty made him a trifle shy in addressing her he paused before speaking and then said with a certain i fancy my attitude of mind last night was the of your own i too had fallen on rather evil days i wanted to see you i came out this afternoon to find you if i had failed to do so it would have gone a little hard with me too i think looked at him intently for a minute her teeth set then she whirled leaned her elbows on the hand rail pulled her handkerchief out of the breast pocket of her fitting coat and her eyes with it finely indifferent to possible comment or observation remained immediately behind her but a little to the right so as to save her from being by the by he had a sense of being only the more alone with her because of the traffic and the crowd a sense moreover of dependence on her part and protection on his a sense in a way of her belonging to him and he to her and this was very sweet to him solemnly sweet as are all things of beauty and moment holding in them the promise of enduring result old age ceased to threaten and loneliness to haunt over soul passed a wave of thankful content the far horizon suddenly straightened herself up and faced him her lips laughed but her eyes were wet i ll play fair she said by the honour of the mother that bore you i ll play fair then she laid her hand on his arm and pointed london wards now come along dear man for i have got to pull myself together somehow let us walk take | 32 |
all the sorrow of the dead summer and stormy autumn light for a moment he watched her in silence then he took both her hands in his and held them smiling at her again very gently no dear friend he said the woman was not my mistress she was my mother his voice shook a little i never talk of her but i think of her always she was very perfect and very lovely and she greatly so greatly that it her reason now do you understand for years she was mad chapter xiv in the month of october immediately following two events took place which though of apparently very different magnitude and importance intimately and almost equally as it proved in the affected life the first was the declaration of war by the south african the second was the return of miss to town now war is unquestionably not a little staggering to the modem conscience and this particular war possessed the additional of having in it at first sight an element of the grotesque it is not too much to say that it struck the majority of the british public as being of the nature of a very bad joke for it was as though a very small and very boy after making offensive signs had in the nation s face clearly the boy deserved sharp for his impudence nevertheless the position remained an and slightly ridiculous one and the british public proceeded to its proper pride by treating the matter as lightly as i it assured itself and others that given a reasonable parade of strength the small boy his fists in his eyes would speedily and humbly beg pardon and promise to mind his manners in future a few persons it is true remembered hill and doubted the small boy s immediate to obedience a few others dared to suspect that english society was suffering from wealth and the many symptoms which in all ages of history have accompanied that form of and to doubt whether blood letting might not prove was among these his recent observations upon us the far horizon and excursions into the world of fashion stray words let drop by st john on the one hand and by unhappy de on the other had in him the suspicion that the and sorrowful influences of war might be for the body just as a operation may be for the individual body next to the jew the is the most of human creatures he is a fighting man into the bargain could not flatter himself that the campaign would result in an easy walk over for so much of the british army as a and annoyed government condescended to place in the field the whole air lay heavy on his soul it lay there all the heavier that a few days subsequent to the declaration of war mr thought was unexpectedly swept back into the of in the portion of his morning paper allotted to business subjects he had lighted on a long and evidently inspired article dealing with the of a company just now in process of acquiring control over extensive in africa the prospects held out to were of the most golden sort the land was declared to be not only remarkably rich in precious stones and precious but also adapted for corn growing on a vast scale thus both above and below the surface promising prodigious wealth were its resources developed did not dispute the truth of these statements the quoted appeared enough moreover he was already fairly with the enterprise since mr barking that junior member of the great firm whose name has been mentioned in connection with modem business methods was to his knowledge deeply interested in the promotion of it that which troubled striking him the far horizon as and was the fact that the profits set forth in the newspaper article were calculated so at least is was evident to on the results of such development when completed of the lapse of time required for such development of possible and accident too of immediate and even protracted loss by the up of huge sums of money which could yield but little or no return until the said process of development was an accomplished fact to clear seeing and logical mind the enterprise therefore presented itself as one of those gigantic modern of which the risks are emphatically too heavy since they more often than not make rich men poor and poor men before they come through if indeed they even come through at all in virtue of his youth his energy and of purpose had rapidly become the ruling spirit of the house of barking brothers barking had no cause to love him since to him he owed his dismissal but that fact failed to colour his present meditations under the influence of his cherished and new found charity had little time or inclination for personal resentment too the habits of the best part of a lifetime cannot be thrown aside in a day directly he touched business on the large scale it became to him serious and imposing and so the future of the firm and the issue of its operations in face of current events concerned him deeply all the more that he barking s temper of mind and the young man s father now happily deceased had offered an instructive example of social and religious to be explicit of the once famous and that in its least agreeable aspect his was that of narrow of the his piety that of self invented the far horizon obligations his virtue that of condemnation of the sins of others his domestic morality was death kindly playing into his hands in regard of it he married four times the only child of his fourth marriage having the further privilege of being his only | 32 |
son the boy was delicate and of a habit this fact combined with his parents conviction that a public school is morally speaking with a common caused his education to be conducted at home by a series of as by birth as by young men the goal of whose was a wife and a failing which they resigned themselves to the post of in some school sport in all its forms art and literature being alike forbidden the boy s hungry energy had found no reasonable outlet he had been miserable until at barely eighteen after a episode with a he had been off to new york to learn business in the house of certain and bill with whom messrs barking brothers had extensive financial relations life in the land of the was not even at that time of day inevitably freedom from parental and the american climate went to the lad s head he passed through a phase of commonplace but secret vice emerging with an social reputation a blank in matters religious combined with bitter against the deity whom he declared non and a fiercely driving ambition not so much for wealth in itself as for that control ever the of men and even of nations with which wealth under modem conditions its possessor he was a pale dry like young man suggesting light without heat and excitement without emotion early in his career he k ul up u the far horizon recognised that the great sources of wealth and power he with the younger countries in the development of their natural and resources of their and other forms of transport the advance of america for example was due to her enormous territory and the opportunities of with the bounds of which this afforded her people but he also recognised that america was essentially for the americans and that it was useless for an however skilful however even to pit his business capacity against that of the native bom his dreams of power and activity directed themselves consequently to the british colonies and to those as yet spaces of the earth s surface where british influence is still only present meanwhile he had miss van daughter of a famous merchant prince first cousin it may be added to the beautiful virginia van whose marriage with rivers of rivers in the county of so fluttered the section of new york society a few years ago he returned to england in the spring of convinced that america had taught him speaking all there was to know this knowledge he prepared to apply to waking up the venerable establishment in street while the and of the said establishment as a towards the of his own far reaching he brought with him from the united states in addition to his elegant wife two dry pale children whose were less than uke and the of whose critical faculty was very much more in evidence than that of their affections these bright little results of and applied science in the shape of the took their place in the social movement at the far horizon the ages of three and five with the hard and assurance of a world weary man and woman they never exhibited surprise they rarely exhibited amusement they were they frequently referred to their nerves and their in the interests of which they every form of excess with these rather terrible little gentry was happily for himself but with their father he was very well acquainted as has already been stated hence his fears folding his newspaper to he laid it on the table and proceeded to walk up and down his sitting room the morning was keen with sunshine the leaves of the and fell in brown and yellow showers upon the green on the further side of which the details of the red and grey houses stood out in high relief of sharp edged light and shadow mr had risen in a frame of mind of late it had become his habit to call weekly on st john to day was the one appointed for his visit since he had spoken to her about his mother his friendship with st john had entered upon a new phase it was no longer but absolute the more so that she had in no way presumed upon his confidence he felt very safe with her safe to tell or safe to withhold as inclination should move him and in this there was a strange and delicate of the burden of his loneliness without any on his pride he had found moreover that behind her lay an unexpected acquaintance with public airs and the tendencies of current events so that it was possible to talk on subjects other than personal with her he was coming to have much faith in her judgment as well as in her sincerity of heart and so with the prospect of seeing her before him had risen the far horizon in the happiest disposition had so remained till the newspaper article disturbed his mind for what as he asked himself did it this extravagant puff of the company s lad and the company s prospects at this particular juncture why was it so and forced upon the market just now was it but another proof of the contemptuous attitude adopted by englishmen of all classes towards the or did it take its origin very much elsewhere namely in the fact that barking had so deeply involved the capital and pledged the credit of the firm that it became necessary to make violent and doubtfully honest bid for popular support before the position of the said firm through difficulty and accident induced by war became desperate this last solution of the question aroused all mr towards his old he saw before them the ugly possibility of failure and disgrace the mere phantom of the thing hurt | 32 |
him as as a shame and to those who in their capacity had him and therefore a a shame and at least indirectly to himself the thought agitated him he needed to take council with and so pushed by a necessity of immediate action uncommon to him he laid hands on hat and coat and set forth to talk matters over with his old friend and former george out of doors the air was the voice of london had a tone of in it as the voice of the young and strong who court the coming of stirring events the moods of the monstrous mother are inexhaustible said to himself she is as the great ocean to day she is and shouts for battle well it may be she will get her fill of that before many months are out the far horizon then the thought of his afternoon visit returned upon him if the air would remain as the sun shine as daring as now these would mr smiled to himself an emotion of tenderness mingling with his anxiety he felt very much alive very ready to meet any demand which the future might make on him battle for him too perhaps and at this moment he welcomed the thought of it thus a little exalted in spirit walked on rapidly across the green between the iron conscious of colour of light and of sound but of the details of his immediate surroundings until a drifting female figure barred his path before him he moved to the right to let it pass it moved to the right also he moved to the left it did so too i beg your pardon he said oh cried i beg your pardon repeated raising his hat excuse me i did not see who it was how very odd remarked she stood still in the middle of the path her eyes snapped her silk was very particular about her it gave her great moral and social support to hear them rustle how very odd she said again did you not know that i had come back might have replied that he did not know that she had ever gone away but he it must be a great pleasure to your cousins to have you with them he said courteously looked at the falling leaves i wonder whether it is i mean i wonder whether it is a pleasure to them or whether they ask me out of a sense of duty she paused gazing at mr of course i know george has a strong regard for me and the horizon for it is only natural as we are first cousins but i am not sure about of course we never heard of until she married she has made him an excellent wife put in i suppose she has said but i sometimes wonder whether if had married somebody else it might not have been more satisfactory in some ways felt very proud in making this remark it no reply however from i wonder if he really sees that is on a differ it level from us and won t admit it or whether he see if he doesn t see of course that means a good deal do you usually go out walking in the morning inquired the silence was becoming protracted courtesy demanded that he should break it looked at him with heightened intelligence we were always brought up to take a walk twice a day mamma was very particular about it she believed that health had so much to do with regular exercise sometimes i wonder whether she did not carry that too far but of course is very strong much stronger than i am i believe she would have been strong in any case even if mamma had not insisted on our taking so much exercise paused but i did not know you went out in the morning that is i mean i have never seen you go out before indeed exclaimed a little startled at the close observation of his habits implied by this remark no she said of course one can see lodge very plainly from s house and i often look out of window i think it among the pleasures of london to look out of window i have never seen you go out in the morning before again she paused adding the far horizon it really seems rather odd that neither nor should have told you that i had come back to this remark no suitable answer suggested itself moreover mr was growing slightly impatient he wished she would see fit to move aside and let him pass you will get cold standing here he said you must not let me detain you any longer s eyes snapped she was excited she was also slightly offended he is very abrupt she said to herself but she did not move aside and let him pass yes he is abrupt she repeated still he has a very good manner if one didn t know that he had been a bank clerk i wonder if one would detect it i don t think it would be a thing that need be mentioned for instance at only would be sure to make a point of mentioning it has an idea she owes it ta herself to be truthful of course it would be wrong to deny that anyone had been a bank but that is different from telling everybody i wonder if would feel obliged to tell everybody when she reached the near side of the green looked back mr was in the act of entering the front door which the worthy george held open for him stood so he was going there she said to herself how extraordinary not to mention it to me what could have been his object in not mentioning it i wonder if he has only gone to see george or to | 32 |
at best one comes in a bad third more often a bad three and twentieth i mean nothing don t be nervous but they have romantic memories of half a dozen women and so though they are no end nice and kind to one play up and give one a good time and have a jolly good one themselves trust em to take care of that one knows all the while if one knows anything that the whole show s merely a visions of and and dear little and and and the lovely angels every one of them if you haven t seen them for ten years and wouldn t know them again if you met them in the street haunt the background of every man s mind by the time he s five and thirty and cut against the sky so that when one comes to the matter out one finds the actually present woman here in the hasn t really any look in at all threw her head back against the red the far horizon cushions of the her teeth white as she laughed boys aren t worth having they re too crude too moreover it isn t playing the game one doesn t want to make a mess of their poor little and grown men except as i say of the very sort are not to be had so don t you understand most delightful lunatic how it comes to pass that you and your friendship are precious to me beyond words when you go i could cry when you come i could dance her tone changed becoming defiant almost fierce and it is all right she said thank heaven right right clean and honest and good for one s soul now i ve done only we are very happy in our own quaint way aren t we and we can leave it at that oh yes we can very well leave it at that if she looked sideways at mr her expression half humorous if only it will stay at that and not play the mischief and off into something quite else she got up quickly with a little air of daring and i must move about i must do something there i ll make up the fire no sit still dear man as prepared to rise also i like doing little odd with you here it takes off the company feeling and makes it seem as if you belonged and like the had come to stay threw a couple of logs upon the fire around them sharp tongues of flame rose and sea green and glories as of a sunset leaped upward she stood watching these her left hand resting on the edge of the her right holding up the front of her black skirt her right foot rested on the thereby displaying a discreet interval of silk the far horizon and a neatly cat shoe the many over her dark figure over the soft lace at her throat and at her wrists over her pale and in the heavy masses of her hair the room facing east was cold with shadow which the thin fantastic colours of the flames appeared to rather than to relieve and obedient to her entreaty sat quietly waiting until it should again please her to speak for he had begun to accept her many changes of mood as an element of her personality a personality rich in rapid and subtle often he had no clue to the meaning of these many changes but he did not mind that not absence of vulgar curiosity alone but an unwilling sub conscious shrinking from any too dose acquaintance with the details of her life contributed to render him passive he had a conviction though he had never it even in thought that ignorance in relation to her made for security and content and there was a refined charm in this namely that each to the other even while friendship deepened should remain something of an country moreover had she not told him that he rested her to ask questions however sympathetic to consolation however delicately is to risk being and to be in however mild a degree is to drive away the shy and spirit of rest and so was coming in the good reading of that phrase simply to stand by and wait where this woman was concerned after all it was but the of a lesson learned long ago for the support and solace of another woman by him loved to act thus was therefore not only natural but sweet to him as a new and gentle offering laid upon the dear altar of his dead it rejoiced him to find that now as of old the demand created a the far horizon supply of silent but moral force ready to pass into the sphere of active help should necessity arise nevertheless as the minutes passed while daylight and alike began to fade grew somewhat troubled and sad and it was with a distinct movement of relief that he at last saw draw herself up push the soft masses of her hair back from her forehead with a gesture and turn towards him as she did so she let her hands drop at her sides as though she had finished with and dismissed some unwelcome form of thought while her face showed wan and her eyes large and vague as though they saw beyond and through all that which they actually looked on there there she said harshly with an angry lift of her head what a silly fool i am wasting time like this when you are here but my soul went out of my body and i could afford to let it go just because you were here and i felt safe her tone softened sure i don t bore | 32 |
you she asked shook his head smiling very sure he said bless you then that s all right strolled back and sat down languidly i ve gone tired she said you see i sat up half the night acting to if you excuse my again alluding to the domestic event oh my being tired doesn t matter my dear man i m never ill i m as strong as a horse let s talk of something more interesting let s review the topics of the hour only for the life of me i can t remember what the topics of the hour are yes i know though the management of the twentieth century theatre has given dot a leading part does that leave you cold impossible why in theatrical circles it s a event i own i m curious to see how she does the far horizon in legitimate drama after her career in musical comedy and at the halls myself i m really very fond of her poor little dot she s going to call herself miss in the future i understand did you ever hear such cheek but then she always had the cheek of the old gentleman himself and that makes for success cheek does go an awfully long way towards bringing you through don t you think so probably said my opportunities of that particular form of virtue have been so limited that i am quite prepared to accept your ruling on the point laughed softly looking at him with a great friendliness ah but it wouldn t have been cheek in your case anyhow it would merely have been that you stepped into your right place ascended any throne that happened to to be vacant wise and assumed what we may call top dog place by right divine i can see you doing it so and yet so innocently it would be a perfectly delicious sight i believe you will do it yet some day somehow and make a lot of people sit up but that reminds me joking apart there is a topic of the hour i wanted to ask you about tell me what you think of this war and once more obedient to her changing mood replied with quiet sincerity i am told i am an i hope i may prove to be so for in this matter i should much prefer the to be in the right but i confess i do not like the outlook both on public and private grounds this war makes me anxious s languor had vanished she had grown very much alive again now she leaned forward pressing her hands together palm to palm between her knees and the far horizon making herself small as a child does when it is deeply in earnest and wants to think you re right she assented i m perfectly certain all this head in air business sail to day and see you again at tea tomorrow so it s not worth while saying good by you know the style is and it is not bluff because the english doesn t bluff he hasn t the brains to begin with and then he is a very sound sort of an animal he doesn t need to hide his fright for the simple reason that he s not frightened a friend of mine was talking about it all yesterday he thinks as you do and he s no silly though he is a member of the house of lords after all he can t help that poor dear old chap she added looking sideways at mr but there you ve seen him i believe you met him the first time you came here don t you remember i had to turn you out because i had to see him on business and you ran across him in the hall as you were going i remember meeting said rather he did not want to hear any more the conversation had become to him though he could have given no reason for his displeasure but suddenly turned mischievous and naughty she patted her hands gently together between her knees and swayed with rather merriment ah of course you were much too grand to take any particular notice of him poor brute but he wasn t a bit too grand to take a lot of notice of you he was fearfully impressed yes i tell you he was don t be cross i am speaking the truth i give you my word i m not he was awfully keen to know who you were and where you came from and how i met you and it was the sweetest thing out to be able to reply that i d been introduced to you on a bench a the far horizon mighty uncomfortable one too with no back to it common by and that as to your name and local habitation i hadn t the faintest ghost of a notion what they were are you cross don t be cross pleaded no no of course not mr answered from his habitual calm and speaking almost sharply patted her palms together again swaying backwards and forwards her eyes were dancing oh but you are though she cried you re just a bit jealous you are you know you are and i m not a scrap sorry on the contrary i m enchanted for it shows that you are human after all and must have a name and address tucked away somewhere about you i don t want to know what they are but it s comfortable to be assured of their existence it shows you don t drop straight down from heaven as i was beginning to be afraid you did once a week into the road and then go straight up again it shows that i could get on to you by post | 32 |
or or other means of communication common to mortals if i was in a tight place and really wanted you without walking as far as bridge and waiting in the wind and the wet on the bare chance you might take it into your august head to and break out of paradise and take a little stroll round our sphere for a moment laid her hand lightly on mr shoulder yes be cross she repeated just as cross as ever you like so long as you don t keep it up too it s the most engaging piece of flattery i ve come across for a month of sundays only you needn t worry in this particular instance dear man i give you my word you needn t it s a sheer waste of feeling for the far horizon s always been perfectly decent with me i know people think him an awfully lot but they re he s in his day of course he has but if he d been more of a people would have talked less as the man says in the play it s not the sin but the being found out which makes the scandal and was too honest he never pretended to be better than he was he is a man of good nature who has done wrong things which is quite different to being a man of bad nature who does wrong things and stiu more different to being a man of weak nature who to do right things that last is the sort i hate most and i speak out of intimate experience she made a most expressive as though she had a remarkably disagreeable taste in her mouth no salvation for that sort i believe she went on either here or hereafter now are you better you do believe it has always been perfectly square and between and me don t you unquestionably i believe it answered he spoke slowly turned her head sharply and looked hard at him ah but i don t quite like that she said i ve it somehow i see i have i ve hurt and offended you you re farther off than you were ten minutes ago in spirit you ve got up and gone away i have it i have made you distrust me no answered you have not made me distrust you but you have perplexed me it is the result of my own no doubt my imagination is not enough to follow you and so he hesitated that which he had in his mind was r i to put into words without he would far rather have left it but to do so would have been in truth to stand farther off to erect a barrier the far horizon which might prove to happy companionship in the future yes her voice shook just in the deepening dusk neither could see the other distinctly and this contributed to s decision to speak it pains me he said at last if you will pardon my frankness that you should think it necessary to account for yourself and justify yourself as you often appear to do yes again that you should do so and me yes murmured i am afraid i grow selfish went on gently but you have been good enough to tell me that my poor friendship is of value to you does it not occur to you that yours is of far greater value to me and that for many and obvious reasons these among others that while you are young and have a wide circle of acquaintances and in a future to which brilliant as you are you may look forward with hope and assurance i am absolutely alone in the world save for one old school fellow who has been very faithful to me there is no one to whom it matters except in the most superficial degree whether i live or die ah said softly do not me i do not complain added i entertain no doubt but that the circumstances in which i find myself are the right and profitable ones for me if i only lay to heart the lessons they teach and use the opportunities which they afford me i don t know about that i doubt that put in hastily you doubt it because you are young he answered the far horizon and your circumstances are capable of alteration and development except under very exceptional conditions resignation is no virtue in the young it is more often an excuse for cowardice and but at my age the world changes its complexion my circumstances are incapable of alteration and development they are final therefore i do well to accept them the work of my life is done i do not say that it has been a failure for i fulfilled the main object i had in view but it has certainly been obscure and the sun will sink dimly enough into a bank of fog my present is meagre in interest and activity my future a brief enough one in all probability must of necessity be meagre likewise therefore your friendship is of supreme importance to me paused his voice was grave distinct with feeling he did not look at his companion he could not trust himself to do so for he had discovered in himself unexpected depths of emotion and just on that account he went on i grow nervous apprehensive if anything arises which seems to cloud or in however small a measure to the serenity of our intercourse ite turned and looked at her this no slight to you dear friend no she said very certainly it is no slight on the contrary it is very beautiful but it s an awful responsibility too she sat quite still her head carried high her hands clasped in her lap the position i see only thought of myself so far and | 32 |
how you pleased me but though i m pretty too almost as at little dot i never had the presumption to put the affair the other way about the far horizon began to sway slightly again pat the palms of her hands together her knees it s been a game the finest game ever played and i swore by all my gods to play fair but as you look at it our friendship to a good deal more than a game it goes very deep and not sure no fm not whether i m equal to it she glanced at strangely through the clinging grey of the dusk dear unknown she said i give you my word i m frightened i who ve never been frightened at any man yet in my own little way i ve played pitch and toss with their hearts and made of except that poor young fellow i told you about him the first time we met who gave me the and whose people wouldn t let him marry me but this affair with you is different it goes very far it means it means nothing short of revolution for me of putting away and very much got up stood pushing her hair back with both hands from her forehead then she moved across to the further side of the fireplace had risen also he stood on the near side of the hearth he was penetrated with the conviction that a crisis was upon them both all the happiness of their future relation to one another you don t understand cried passionately and i don t want you to understand that s half the trouble i want to keep you your friendship s the loveliest thing i ve ever had and yet i don t know for fm not one woman i m half a dozen women and they all pull all sorts of ways so that i t trust myself i want to keep you i tell you i want horribly to keep you yet i m ghastly afraid not equal to it the price is too big the far horizon as she spoke dashed her hand against the push of the electric bell and held it there ringing a prolonged in quick response to which the respectable elderly parlour maid appeared bearing two rose shaded lamps noiselessly and as one accustomed to whose eyes did not see or ears hear if it should be to permit them to do so she drew the curtains made up the fire set out the tea table and with that change of scene and shutting out of the dusk seemed to change also gravity and strength of purpose departing from her and leaving her notwithstanding her sober dress unreal artificial the red tinted lady of the of the dust and embroidered again she moreover careless of interruption and of criticism alike here let s hark back to the ordinary conduct of material existence she said tea won t you sit down no well just as you like best take it standing let me see what were we discussing when we got on to unexpectedly personal lines of conversation the war yes i remember i was just going to tell you that believes it s going to be a nasty dragging unsatisfactory business about the being a simple pastoral people but says their simplicity is just another name for and that he anyway can t conceive a more job than fighting a nation of farmers and and in their own country every inch of which they know people say they ve no military science but so jolly much the better for them they can be red with nothing to think of but the enemy and saving their property and their skins the poor british will be no match for them nor will the british officer man either till he s the far horizon his parade ground etiquette and his red methods and manner and learned their very primitive but very and ones by which time says the mourning here at home will have made a record and there will be altogether too many new for comfort in south africa paused in her for had set down his cup its contents he was sad at heart are you going she asked yes he answered it grows late it s time i went i think perhaps it is s eyes had become inscrutable i really ought to attend to my and pass the time of day with her has scared the maids they refuse to go within a measured of her bent down over the tea table arranging the with elaborate neatness good by she said i don t quite know when we shall meet again why asked the muscles of his throat were rigid he had much to speak plainly and naturally are you leaving home home she answered yes i m leaving it good by again don t let me keep you certainly fm leaving home indeed i believe i have left it already for good and she threw back her head and laughed upon the a cold rush of air met mr above the sky was blue black and very clear the road was vacant and grey with frost the flame of the i lamps quivered giving off a sharp brightness in the keen atmosphere mr turned up the collar of his coat and descended the steps just then a the far horizon emerged from the distance and drew up with a rattle and grind against the some twenty paces ahead the a young man flung back the doors with a and stood a moment on the paying the driver who raised himself leaning forward with outstretched hand across the glistening black roof of the cab then the young man turned round swung himself down on to the pavement and came | 32 |
forward as rapidly as a long coat reaching to his heels would permit he was tall and fair well favoured not to say he did not mr so much as a glance as he brushed past him the road was still vacant and in the frosty air sounds carried mr distinctly heard him race up a neighbouring flight of steps heard the click and turn of a in a lock heard the of a front door pulled to violently and so doing turned cold and a little faint he would not condescend to look back but he had recognised barking and was in no doubt which house he had entered sir ere yer are sir the called cheerily very cold night just set one gentleman down and to another up want to get back to my little west end shelter so i ll yer for sir though we are outside the blooming but shook his head the horse stood in a cloud of steam barking had evidently pushed the pace but even had the animal been in better condition had no desire to drive in that particular cab he would rather have walked the whole way to lodge opposite the bell inn where the roads one turning away through the other leading to common and the row of smart little houses into shops by the time he reached the far horizon these mr discovered that he was tired the keen air oppressed his chest making his breath come short it was useless to attempt to go home on foot then with a sense of relief he saw that on the far side of the road a couple of stood the horses heads turned he crossed climbed the of the leading vehicle slowly and sank into a seat the was yet was not by himself two companions had climbed the winding with him and taken their places beside him old age on his left hand loneliness on his right all up the long road while the and and the fallen leaves whirled and before the searching breath of the night wind two companions seemed to lean across him talking there were tones of mockery in their talk while behind and through it as some refrain he heard the ring of a young man s eager footsteps the click and turn of a and the of a door as it shut on the river the cold grew intense crossing the bridge the lights were reflected in the surface of the stream which ran full and strong from the autumn rains with an tide to eyes the reflections converted themselves into fiery in the heat of deadly conflict as upon st john s oriental a glare hung over london as with and angry life and when the up in the voice of the streets grew loud the monstrous city so it seemed to shouting defiance to the majestic calm and solemnity of the eternal stars chapter xvi c he says it is nothing serious only a slight chill and sends kind regards and many thanks for kind inquiries and hopes to be out in a day or two when he will call and thank you in person this from george to his wife the latter arrayed in garments of ceremony and seated upon the sofa awaiting guests it was her afternoon at home well fm sure i hope it is no more than that she answered comfortably are always going about in november and very often gentlemen encourage them especially by not changing into their winter and early enough a great deal of illness is contracted that way here audibly she stood by the window holding the lace curtain just sufficiently aside to get a narrow and view of the fog green the outlook was far from and was keenly interested in the conversation going forward between her host and hostess but it was not in her programme to let this appear she while straining her ears to listen therefore maintained an air of the word was however too much for her fortitude and she really does use the most dreadfully expressions sometimes she commented inwardly she never seems to remember that is not married though even if they were i should hope they would not mention those sort of things is wanting in refinement i wonder if george notices that and feels it if he does notice it i think he ought to tell her about it because the far horizon but here she fell to again since the said george took up his once more still i own i don t like his looks somehow his face is so thin and drawn it reminds me of the time his mother poor mrs died i told him just that his appearance surprised me but he put it all aside you know he has a very high aristocratic manner at times that makes you feel you have been and then talked of other things he has too solitary mrs said too solitary and that tells on any one in middle life i should never forgive myself if we left him to you must just try to him over here to and i ll nurse him up and humour him and fortunately s here you see for pleasant company mrs looked at her while the figure at the window again i am sure you would exert yourself to help cheer poor mr up if he came over to stay would you not now she inquired are you speaking to me yes about mr coming here to stay turned her head and answered over her shoulder of course you and george are quite at to ask anyone here whom you hke and if mrs came i should be perfectly civil to him but i should not care to bind myself to anything more than that because i do not find him an easy person to get on with she | 32 |
turned to her contemplation of the fog with a renewed assumption of indifference george s shiny forehead into little lines he looked anxiously at his wife the good lady however laid a fat forefinger upon her lips and nodded her head at him in the most manner that s funny she said because mr is the far horizon quite the of all s gentlemen friends except of course the dear and so i always took for granted anyone like yourself was sure to get on nicely with him even i hardly ever find him difficult to talk with i never talk easily to strangers put in oh but you d hardly call mr a stranger yes i should declared with emphasis i should certainly call him a stranger i always call a stranger till i know them intimately it is much safer to do so and it would be absurd to pretend that i know mr intimately you of course do but i do not you and george may have seen him frequently since i have been here but i have really seen him very seldom four or five times at the outside he has generally appeared to call when i was likely to be out i could not help observing that it may be a coincidence of course but i cannot pretend that i have not thought it rather marked had advanced into the centre of the room she held herself erect she enjoyed making a demonstration may think i am a she said to herself but she is mistaken she may think i can be and used as a mere tool but i will let her see that i cannot she felt daring and dangerous and her eyes snapped the rustling of her skirts and the emphatic tones of her voice aroused the which had been on its perch its head sunk between its shoulders and its breast feathers ed out into a little green apron over its grey claws s own pet it murmured with dry of its tongue against its the words out in foolish and hi p murder fire thieves there s another jolly row i the far horizon poor gazed in bewilderment from to the from the to his wife and then back to again you do surprise me and i am more than i can say that you should have the most distant reason or either ever to feel the least in this house you do surprise me i can t believe it has been the least on part but i would not have had anything of the kind happen for twenty pray don t george cried or i shall feel quite annoyed of course has a right to their own but i had been led to expect something different as i say it may only be a coincidence nothing may have really been meant only it has seemed rather marked but in any case it has not been your fault george i am very glad you allow that the good creature said humbly oh yes i quite excuse you of any slight george i quite trust you still nothing could be more unpleasant than for me to feel that my being here put any upon your friends coming to the house of course i know and i move in rather different society from and yourself yes he assented hurriedly as to the wife s feelings yes yes and so it is quite possible that i may not suit some of your acquaintances excuse me he panted no i cannot think that i am not sure she returned not at all sure george and nothing could be more unpleasant to me than to feel i was the least in the way of course i should never have come back if i had supposed jl the far horizon i should be in the way but made such a point of it here the broke forth into prolonged and flapping its wings violently and nearly tumbled backwards off its perch throw a handkerchief over the poor bird s cage dear cried mrs from the sofa her face was red she had become hot and and just as i was flattering myself it was all turning out so nicely too she said to herself no not your own dear this aloud you may need it later the red out of the right hand comer of the top drawer of the work table i think it would be much for me to go continued her voice pitched in a high key to combat the cries of the and the rattle of the table drawer which george in his present state of agitation found it impossible to shut with accuracy and despatch of course it may inconvenience to have me return sooner than she expected she is away speaking at a number of missionary meetings in the north and the maids will be on board wages and the drawing room furniture will have been put into holland covers she counted on my staying here till i go to my cousin lady in square the third week in december but of course all that must be arranged i can give up my visit lady will be annoyed and i don t know what excuse i can make to her still i think i had really much better go and then you can have mr or any other of your and s friends to stop here without my feeling that i am in the way nothing could be more odious to than feeling i was or forcing myself upon you mamma would never have such behaviour it is the sort of thing we were always brought up to the far horizon have the greatest horror of it is a thing i never have done and never could do i hope you understand that nothing could be further | 32 |
from my thoughts when i accepted s invitation to miss please ma am the little house her face very pink from the exertion of her mistress s attention and making herself heard mrs up from the sofa usually it must be allowed the great was rather at a now she was welcome her hostess s greeting though silent was cordial she clutched at her guest s hand as one in imminent risk of drowning at a the said guest was in her humour she was also in a scarlet flannel thickly powdered with black this in with purple in a black hat her hair and complexion did not constitute a wholly delicious scheme of colour but to this fact mrs was indifferent good afternoon miss said in a stage whisper glancing towards still bright eyed and erect don t let me interrupt pray my conversation will keep i will just sit and listen listen to what cried almost inarticulate with indignation why to your our gentlemen often treat us to a little in that line of an evening mrs after dinner i on pieces of a comic nature specially when well delivered i should never dream of declared no really now miss returned that seems quite a pity it is such a pleasant occupation for a dull afternoon like this do you not think so miss i declare i was quite sure from the moment the far horizon i came into the hall while i was taking off my that your cousin was giving you a little entertainment of that kind mr her voice was running up and down in such a very telling manner if glances could miss would unquestionably have been reduced to a for rage possessed she had worked herself up into a fine of anger over purely imaginary injuries and now that of people in the world should with suggestions of comic detestable person said to herself her conduct is positively outrageous of course she knew perfectly well i was doing nothing of the kind really i believe anybody would feel her manner quite insulting i wonder how george and can her it shows george has much that he should her i am not so surprised at of course she never had good taste i think i ought to go to my room that would mark my displeasure but then she may have come on purpose to say something particular i wonder if she has done so of course if she has she wants to get rid of me that is her object but she is mistaken if she thinks that i shall gratify her i think i owe it to myself to make sure exactly what is going on i will certainly stay that will show her i am on the watch during this protracted though silent had remained standing in the middle of the room now she back to the window held aside the lace curtain and resumed her contemplation of the fog green good gazed after her in deep and perplexity somebody it appeared to him had been extremely unreasonable and disagreeable but who that somebody was for the very life of him he could not tell the wife was out of the question while to sup the far horizon pose it approached high treason still he was very sure it could not be that most courteous personage there remained himself yet i wouldn t vex a fly he thought and as to sometimes ones does wish females were not quite so sensitive miss meanwhile had taken the post of honour beside her hostess upon the sofa she was enjoying herself immensely she had a conviction of marching to victory yes she said mrs dear asked me just to run across as she has missed your last two lest you should think her i am well aware i am but a poor substitute for no compliments now mr if you please mrs is in good health i trust this from at present yes i am happy to say thank you but how long it will continue miss spoke at this rate i am sure i cannot tell indeed inquired anxiously you don t tell me so nothing wrong i trust well as i always tell her her sense of duty almost to a fault so unselfish so conscientious it brings tears to my eyes often at times i hope it is appreciated in the right quarter i do hope that mr here s bosom heaved with a generous sigh there is much ingratitude in the world miss i fear she said her husband looked at her in an anguish of apology whether for his own sins or those of others he knew not exactly so there is mrs responded warmly and nobody is a more speaking example of that truth than when i think of all she went the far horizon through during her married life and yet so so trusting it is enough to melt an that it is mrs now as i was saying to her only this morning you must study yourself a little get out in the air take a peep at the shops and have some amusement but her reply is always the same no dear she says not at the present time thank you i know the duties of my position as mistress of lodge when any one of our gentlemen is my place is at home i must remain in the house in case of a sudden emergency i should not have an easy moment away from the place she says miss looked around upon her hearers demanding approbation and sympathy very is it not she inquired after a moment s embarrassed silence george murmured a suitable if timid assent his wife assumed a bolder attitude by recently received she went over temporarily to the side of the enemy i always have maintained | 32 |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.