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harmony between them which both felt to be eminently refreshing after the and differences of the last few months poor aunt said elizabeth smiling as she looked down at the dainty pretty old lady you have been so frightened and agitated i have been listening for the carriage for ever so long then you were driving that young chestnut horse that uncle wanted to try i was in a great fuss about it because i thought very likely it would be troublesome yes said mrs i was very nervous william drives very well but i never feel really safe without your uncle i can t bear being alone i had begged that we might try the chestnut some other day but your uncle was in a hurry he had given the orders and i didn t like to worry him just when he was going away then the last bit of the road is so exposed added elizabeth o mrs part l oh yes it was horrible i don t approve you know of strong expressions but it really was horrible i am so thankful to be at home safe continued mrs with a little sigh of relief while she softly patted elizabeth s hand which she still held the arrival of with the tea created a diversion and elizabeth having no more convenient place to set the tray on cleared a space at one end of the writing table her various books and papers into a heap at the other end to make room for it this arrangement was not altogether a tidy one and consequently not altogether to mrs s taste she could not help observing it with discomfort all disorder was painful to her but she to make any open comment on the top of the other papers conspicuous both from its shape and colour lay the lawyer s letter that elizabeth had lately been reading it lay open rather notice and mrs s attention as she sat waiting for her cup of tea was easily won she could not help noticing that it was a business letter and she began wondering vaguely what it contained at another time she would have to appear to take any for interest in a private matter of her niece s it would have been almost impossible to her to put questions about it but her recent fright and present sense of returning comfort and security had somewhat relaxed her moral fibre so to speak she felt idly fascinated by the open letter her eyes wandered towards it repeatedly as elizabeth poured out and ch vi a sketch in black and white i handed her her tea all the while about the storm which still rolled overhead about mr s journey about the road from and the young chestnut horse mrs was aware of a growing desire to know what business the letter could refer to and became more and more disposed as she drank a second excellent and cup of tea and began to feel quite secure of herself and at her ease again to ask some direct question concerning it poor lady her recent adventures and emotions had shaken her out of the safe little along which she generally travelled and now that she was recovering her footing her state of mind was one in which she was liable to make unfortunate excursions in various directions as mrs finished her second cup of tea the temptation became altogether too strong to be any longer resisted elizabeth s thoughts had wandered away to the frank proposal she was just remembering how she had fallen asleep after reading her sister in law s letter and recalling her uncomfortable dream about mrs and the castles when that lady suddenly spoke elizabeth was roused immediately from her reverie there seemed to be some subtle connection between her own thoughts and her aunt s unexpected question is that a letter from your lawyer elizabeth asked mrs she felt rather glad that she was sitting in the dark for she was aware that she flushed a little and she wished to appear perfectly easy and composed g mrs part i yes answered elizabeth she was sorry somehow that her aunt had asked her and but for the softening influences of their late meeting and of mrs s loving kiss which still lingered pleasantly with her she would probably have contented herself with that reply just now however she felt but slight temptation to be towards her aunt even though she did ask for questions it is wonderfully soothing and agreeable to be at peace with other people so after a moment s pause elizabeth continued it is from mr about the house we had in london it seems that the present tenant gives it up in september indeed said mrs main tea and darkness made her brave she began to think she had quite a right to know a little more of this matter did you expect that it would be given up so soon no said elizabeth turning her face away and looking sadly out of the window at the dull stormy sky i didn t remember on what terms the house was let i was thinking of very different things just at the time the arrangement was made you know aunt yes yes said mrs hastily but she had no disposition to let the conversation drop elizabeth felt a little worried she had not any desire to enter fully into this question and to hint at her own half formed plans at the same time she wanted to be amiable and she had a conscious ch vi a sketch in black and white ness too that mrs was sitting still there merely waiting for further communications it is never pleasant to have information silently extracted from one the letter only came to day said elizabeth at last turning towards her aunt i should have spoken | 32 |
to uncle about it but he was so busy this morning that i didn t like to bother him with it yes answered mrs but with more of inquiry than of mere assent in her tone the good lady was quite alert now all the of half an hour ago had gone out of her she was refreshed by tea and by sitting still in a safe place the thunder too was slowly dying away in the far distance which was decidedly encouraging to her spirits she was beginning to feel a little irritated at elizabeth s want of but her moral fibre was no longer relaxed and though she wanted more than ever to know all about the matter she had regained sufficient to be determined to ask no more direct questions there was rather a long pause elizabeth was stationed between the two windows so that the light was concentrated about her white figure she sat resting one elbow on the corner of the writing table and was apparently deeply engaged in the not very intellectual employment of her tea spoon on the edge of her cup it was the sort of thing mrs could not manage to be unconscious of she hated to see things put to wrong mrs uses somehow the delicate sympathy which had a little while before between the two women seemed to be growing fainter and fainter and to be losing itself in the light of common day each of them from different causes felt a trifle annoyed with the other at last the elizabeth s spoon slipped with a little and splash into her cup it seemed somehow to bring her to a sudden decision for she looked up and spoke again mr wants to know whether i wish to have the house let again at once or keep it in my own hands there cannot be any doubt as to your answer my dear mrs remarked quietly but a little why i don t quite understand you answered elizabeth who being conscious of her own growing desires in the matter wished that her aunt did not think the question so perfectly obvious and simple of course you must let the house i don t quite see why it should be of course said elizabeth the last two words and beginning to feel rather obstinate it really seems to me a matter that requires some little consideration my dear how can it replied mrs she sat up quite straight in her chair the pink flush in her cheeks deepened she looked at elizabeth with an air of surprise not to say consternation it was very tiresome mrs felt that just at the moment when everything seemed to be going so pleasantly and smoothly this apple of discord ch vi a sketch in black and white should drop down between them but the were their usual sway over her and she felt bound to speak clearly and decidedly however disagreeable it might be to do so it would be quite impossible for you to live in london alone you know and there can be no object in the house standing empty she said i don t see that it would be at all impossible for me to spend the winter in london answered elizabeth i could let the house again for the season and come back here mrs a little forward in her dusky corner and pressed the palms of her hands together rather nervously as they lay in her lap but my dear elizabeth don t you understand that a young woman of your age and position ought not to live by herself it would appear so very strange i don t know what people would say i don t ask you to consider your uncle and me or our feelings at your leaving us i merely ask you to think for a moment how very strange this plan of yours must appear to every one you must see at once that it is impossible it couldn t be done said mrs with considerable dignity and decision but why couldn t it be done rejoined elizabeth the fact that her aunt treated the idea as utterly preposterous raised a strong spirit of opposition in her it is an but unfortunately a certain fact that two people are never more likely to have a serious and bitter quarrel than just when they mrs part i are recovering from an attack of unusually affection the excitement produces a reaction which too frequently is very dangerous of course i only want to go for a time aunt elizabeth continued you know how glad i am to be with you and uncle but i should be very glad to spend a few months in london and after all why is it so absurd for me to think of living alone lots of other women are obliged to do it but you are not obliged to do it my dear said mrs here is here are your own relations here is the home you have always been accustomed to there is no reason for you to seek another you are not in the position of a woman who is obliged to live alone in your case indeed it would be obviously you speak altogether too strongly aunt said elizabeth quickly herself up i am not in the habit of proposing to do things that are obviously there was a pause mrs was aware that she had made a false step i wish and i intend said elizabeth to see something of of robert s relations this year she waited a moment to steady her voice which was a little and then went on distinctly tells me how much they want to see me she asked me to go abroad with them this month i don t care to do that just now but i really must see something of them later on they would be | 32 |
close to me in ch vi a sketch in black and white london and i should like to see them quietly in my own home i should prefer that to staying with them for any length of time mrs looked down at her clasped hands and said softly it would surely be unnecessary for you to do that in any case but i don t think so you see rejoined elizabeth rather hotly and in this matter i really must follow my own judgment aunt i can t agree with you my dear said mrs with quiet in a question like this the opinion of those who are older and more experienced than you are of those who stand to you as your uncle and i do in the place of parents their opinion i must think should be not only considered but by uncle has not had an opportunity of giving his opinion yet said elizabeth well then in his absence elizabeth i hold it to be my duty to speak quite plainly to you mrs paused she gathered up all her courage and then said understand that i entirely of this proposal entirely elizabeth stood up and rested her hands on the back of her chair she was growing a little excited and sitting still was irksome to her she would have been glad to avoid a scene with her aunt but she felt strongly that if she wanted to secure her independence it was a case of now or never also she believed that mrs s social objection to the frank was at the bottom mrs part i of her strong opposition to this london scheme elizabeth was almost fiercely determined to stand by her husband s relations her very doubt as to her entire devotion to robert made her desperately anxious to pay all due honour to his people and at this moment her desire for a larger and more vivid sphere of life than that which offered her ranged itself alongside her loyalty to the dead and made her ready to fight out the battle with poor little mrs to the bitter end i must speak plainly too she said the real truth is that you can t endure the frank you don t think them up to the mark you want me to drop them altogether pray pray cried mrs with an agitated little wave of her hands as though robert s tiresome relations to the remotest quarter of the globe pray don t let us begin discussing that unfortunate subject you want me to settle down elizabeth went on with increasing warmth the frank dismissal as if nothing had happened as if there was no difference between what i am now and what i was as a girl you want me just to miss out all the last few years except in the way of wearing black gowns don t you sec don t you understand that it is impossible for me not to want to see robert s relations that i can t give up the past altogether you are quite wrong and mistaken answered mrs quickly i have no wish that ch vi a sketch in black and white you should not be different that you should not your situation it is you elizabeth i must say it who seem to me to disregard your situation oh dear me cried the poor lady in much agitation and distress don t you see that it is hardly decent yes really hardly decent for you to propose to settle in london and go about and entertain people when you have been only a few months a widow don t you see that it is absolutely wanting in proper respect for your husband s memory elizabeth s face scarlet now she did not care what she said every little unpleasant word that mrs had ever spoken every worldly suggestion every small act of every want of comprehension of the position of others every stupidity that her aunt had ever committed rushed into elizabeth s mind like most of us she had an excellent memory for the faults of her near relations all the bitter feelings she had nourished in secret against mrs filled her and pouring themselves forth in a torrent of excited words how dare you say such a thing aunt she cried how dare you accuse me of such a thing you to speak to me of want of proper respect when you are trying to make me give up robert s own brother and hold myself too fine to associate with him and his wife what would he have cared for the sort of respect which consists in sitting upstairs with the blinds half down and wearing loads of and wondering whether this and that and the other person thinks you look unhappy mrs part i enough a very precious sort of respect that consisting in clothes merely and little trivial forms a careful paying of the of and and while the matters the love and the justice and gratitude gratitude to his own brother to his own flesh and blood are forgotten and neglected you don t understand me cried elizabeth you never have understood me you want to run me into your own little social mould and have me for ever thinking what a set of stupid ignorant unimportant people are saying about me instead of letting me be honest and faithful as i want to be you are cruel you are very cruel elizabeth said mrs slowly she pressed her hand to her side as if in actual physical pain it is you you that are cruel answered elizabeth passionately you who want to and my poor life and build it in on every side with miserable conventional i want to live think already though i am so young i have had troubles | 32 |
which you know nothing about i have had to bear disappointment sorrow and anguish haven t i suffered enough already but that i must be and in at every turn with these wretched worldly considerations that i must submit to be bored almost to death that i must settle down finally at one and twenty in the of country without a hope or prospect in the future don t you see i long to gather up my life and begin again to do something to be interested in living i am young and ch vi a sketch in black and white strong i can t make up my mind to here wasting myself in useless regrets you have your husband aunt and your home and your life is full of what you like but i look she said spreading out her hands with a despairing gesture i have absolutely nothing surely you can get on perfectly well without me let me go at all events for a time let me see and know the world let me live a little and not here ah life may be so full and beautiful for me somewhere else let me go you have no right to prevent me just then the clouds parted and the glare of a stormy sunset filled all the room elizabeth s white dress as she stood in the gaudy light was stained with an angry orange glow shaken with her passion and with her own wild words her brown hair disordered and her eyes flashing she looked like the very spirit of the fierce and beautiful sunset away there down in the west mrs had risen too she stood in the dim and dusky corner of the room where elizabeth had set the arm chair for her with so much tender solicitude hardly an hour ago truly only those whom we love can really torture us in this world in that short hour half the joy of poor mrs s heart had withered and faded and died the child whom she had brought up whom she had tried to persuade herself she loved as her very own had turned upon her and shown her that there was a great gulf fixed between them had plucked the very heart out of her poor respectable life and trampled it under strong young mrs feet mrs was filled with bitterness she and elizabeth could never be the same to each other again there was a rent in their mutual love which could only be patched and never it seemed to her be mended wholly mrs felt very tired she wanted to go away and be quiet somewhere but she could not go without a parting word she herself for a moment with one hand on the arm of her chair then she said in a thin hard voice you are quite right elizabeth i do not under stand you at this moment i confess i have no wish to understand you for you seem to me to be in a singularly exaggerated and ill regulated state of mind we think very differently i may be rather old fashioned but you are so painfully violent that it is quite useless for us to attempt to have any further conversation on this matter while you remain at i must ask you to treat me and my friends whom you so greatly despise with common courtesy and respect and for my part you may rest assured she added that i shall not interfere in any way with your plans and arrangements in future as she finished speaking mrs moved out from her shadowy comer into the glare of the fierce sunlight elizabeth was shocked when she saw how pinched and aged she looked as the light fell on her her heart smote her and she came forward quickly you are tired you are ill aunt she said i have ch vi a sketch in black and white but mrs put her sternly aside i will begin at once to learn to do without you elizabeth she answered and went slowly out of the room elizabeth flung herself down on the floor in the midst of the lurid sunshine and resting her head on the hard window seat sobbed bitterly pride and remorse struggled together within her the picture of her past troubles and of her present desolation which she had called up by her own words affected her profoundly everything seemed to have fallen short of her hopes and expectations everything had yielded her less joy and satisfaction than she asked of it poor child she had always desired so passionately to be happy she had tried so hard to be happy her aunt had told her to be her husband had told her to be good her own heart told her always to be happy and it told her so still still she longed and and struggled and still the phantom of happiness and escaped her she said give me this one thing more and i shall be happy she got the one thing and found that the old longing and clung to her yet sometimes it made her hard selfish and as she knew she had been to day she hated herself and yet all the same for the thing which seemed as though it might possibly bring her happiness good and evil are most mixed up in us the wheat and the flourish only too well close side by side elizabeth was generous and selfish cruel and tender hearted all at the same time she needed mrs part i many a lesson yet from the hard and steady teacher experience whose teaching though slow is so absolutely and awfully at last the dinner bell rang while she was still crying her heart out in the dying sunshine with her sweet face pressed down on the window seat a minute or two | 32 |
later knocked at the door elizabeth jumped up hastily and stood with her back to the light so as if possible to hide the signs of her late agitation from that worthy woman s eyes she felt that it would be impossible to go downstairs and talk good little commonplace talk to her aunt over her dinner for and propriety s sake so she sent word that she had a bad headache and wanted to be quiet and mrs who from pure habit would have sat down to dinner at seven o clock if all the world had been coming to an end at eight found herself obliged to take her evening meal in melancholy silence and solitude poets and lovers and other persons of an habit of mind have a pretty fiction that nature laughs over their joys and with them in all their but to a calm observer this seems to be rather an view of the matter the two women who in that pleasant quiet old should have stood to each other in the gentle and beautiful relation of mother and daughter lay awake far into the summer night each in her own chamber alone elizabeth with passionate tears asking why the husband who might have guided trained and saved her was taken from her side so soon and mrs with the cruel dry ch vi a sketch in black and white eyed sorrow of age asking bitterly as she had asked many times these thirty years why god had seen fit to deny her the sacred joys of for which she had so prayed and yet the night was serene and the stars shone peacefully out of the deep purple summer sky the pastures spread fresh and sweet under the soft breeze and in the morning the sun arose rejoicing like a giant to run his course the night was as solemnly glad and the morning as gay as though no poor human hearts were torn with painful struggle and and with the deadly weight of love grown cold mrs i chapter vii nurse no extravagant hope the week during which the was away was a very wretched one at mrs wrapped herself in a garment of cold and rigid civility fortunately for her there were no more thunder storms and elizabeth alternately and penitent spent a good many hours in her own room writing letters to mr and tearing them up again she was compelled to answer mrs frank s letter without delay so she wrote a short and rather irritable note saying that was out of the question for her at present holding out vague hopes of a meeting in london in the autumn and so few words on the babies and their that her sister in law who always had a lively inclination to read between the lines immediately arrived at the conclusion that the old as she called them in familiar conversation with her husband must have been perfectly odious and that elizabeth must have suffered such a at their hands that she had no sympathy left poor dear to on anybody but herself ch vii a sketch in black and white people are strong one sometimes fears in proportion to their mrs in virtue of her limited imagination had a remarkable power of maintaining a fixed attitude of mind and of manner elizabeth s feelings on the contrary a good deal more than once a word from her aunt would even now have opened the of repentance and she would have herself and asked pardon but mrs remained hopelessly the same every look and every word implied delicately but surely that she was outraged astonished greatly pained utterly shocked that she was well aware that she and elizabeth were aunt and niece and owed each other a certain consideration from that fact but everything stopped there mr was coming home in a few days he must speak the final word meanwhile she would stand by her colours support the position she had taken up and maintain a dignified and suggestive silence there is nothing more than being in disgrace a very few days of this state of things were enough to all elizabeth s latent tenderness and her in rebellion and two days before mr s return she wrote definitely to the lawyer to inform him that she should take up her residence in london in september and to request him therefore to take no further steps regarding the letting of her house conversation under these unfortunate conditions was difficult and the two ladies found time hang so heavily on their hands that they welcomed warmly h mrs part i any little incident which broke in upon the monotonous round of half silent and dinners mr the of who has already been mentioned in these pages was not an object of great admiration either to mrs or to elizabeth it was rather surprising to observe in what a remarkably kindly spirit they both received him at this juncture when he came one afternoon to pay a long owed visit mr had given himself a day s holiday time was precious he measured it out with a hand and having done one social duty by taking luncheon with the at he thought it well as the day must it seemed be given over to to walk on the five miles from there and pay this visit at mr had started to walk with him but the roads were dusty and the day extremely warm mr was a man of a soft temperament moreover he had generously of a hot one o clock dinner prepared with unusual delicacy and plenty in honour of the expected guest by the time he reached the outskirts of parish mr was aware that his courage was out at every pore he began to think it might be dangerous for a man at his time of life | 32 |
to take a long walk so soon after eating he had uncomfortable visions of and mrs who entertained hopes that her eldest daughter s abilities as an and district visitor might have made some impression on mr s mind had suggested privately that this walk would ch vii a sketch in black and white be an excellent opportunity for finding out how far that gentleman s heart was entangled by s useful if not romantic for the position of a clergyman s wife but mr was altogether too hot for delicate he longed for his own study slippers and an old and easy coat at this moment far more than for any matrimonial advantages that might to his eldest daughter therefore he suddenly remembered that he had forgotten something very important and bidding with many of regret his younger and more vigorous companion a warm adieu he turned walking erect and fast to carry out the idea of urgent business as long as there was any chance of mr turning back and seeing him then after wiping his face several times and leaning for a while against a shady five barred gate he slowly to his wife s anxious inquiries concerning his conversation with their late guest with as much ingenuity and as few as he might mr was a tall thin man with a black beard and a rather high forehead which had a tendency to itself up into irritable lines he was almost energetic and took real comfort in the thought of his mental and physical activity and in the fact that he was a total he believed that he possessed the original healthy mind in a healthy body this belief gave him a certain inclination to sit upon his friends and acquaintances he felt convinced that if every one would only take his mrs par i advice and follow his example a sort of of peace and plenty would immediately set in mr belonged to that section of english which not contented with trying to rule the church has a strong desire to rule the world as well they the life of their in the most alarming way everything from the eastward position to the state of the seems to come within their province as a rule they are not greatly beloved poor mr was really a very admirable pure minded and devoted man but he made himself the measure of the universe and unfortunately that measure seemed not to be entirely correct somewhere he had cast up all social and religious problems according to it over and over again but though he felt sure he was right the answer did not work out in universal peace and as it so obviously ought to have done mr arrived warm energetic and at that afternoon and was ushered into the cool shaded drawing room where elizabeth received him with unusual kindness of mr rather himself on a stem indifference to his surroundings but it was impossible for him not to be distinctly aware of the contrast between the bare dining room at steaming with early dinner the miss with their anxious mother and the pleasant repose of this stately old room and quiet self possession the graceful young widow mr tried to be ch vii a sketch in black and white loi practical and tell himself that it was merely a difference of so many hundreds or perhaps thousands a year and that the ought not to be blamed or mrs admired for the difference but unfortunately when one s eyes are pleased it is a little difficult to keep facts in view mr could not help being rather gratified at his reception he had no great respect for mr but he began to think it more than possible that this handsome serious looking young lady might be considerably less darkened by prejudice or wilful ignorance of important and questions than her relations elizabeth listened so graciously to his conversation that a sudden thought flashed into mr s mind he knew that it was a little unworthy of his stern somewhat ideal of life but still there it was how would it be to convert and then take possession of this fair daughter of the and use all the power and gold against the themselves to use it for the of the cause and of the spread of sound church teaching and the just administration of the poor law the parish of was too small by any means to mr s large stock of energy this audacious idea which had started all into his brain seemed to him a very attractive outlet for much of his up force as he sat talking to elizabeth enjoying the cool atmosphere and though he would hardly have liked i mrs to admit it the sight of her sweet face this idea gave to his manner just that touch of softness and respect in which it was generally wanting he eloquent concerning free and open the miserable condition of the cottages of some of the poor at and the sorrow and degradation consequent on drink till elizabeth who had only hailed his coming as a relief from her sense of discomfort and began to think him not only but really rather interesting and mrs though she knew it was high treason to agree with him became willing to that his motives be good though poor young man he was on some points and not at all the sort of person she had always been accustomed to life seemed full of possibilities to mr as he strode home that evening in the he left practical matters alone for a while and indulged himself with building a series of pleasing castles in the air he saw himself on the to a general making of the crooked straight and of the rough places plain he was more than ever confident in the certain arrival of a consequent on the | 32 |
surrounded with familiar objects and at being sure that there would be no peculiarities in the cooking of his dinner he thoroughly appreciated the order and solid comfort of his own house after his short absence from home and the two fox sat on the gravel walk just in front of him in a trembling agony of repressed excitement prepared if their master showed the smallest disposition of his present occupation and going for a stroll first to spring into the air with frantic joy and then rush madly after him and before him in any direction the brown lay on the steps in a state of absolute repose occasionally turning a meditative and contemptuous eye upon the two anxious below he possessed all the dignified calmness of manner which belongs to an assured position in the world while the fox were victims to the ill regulated vivacity of youth and to that excessive desire for notice which belongs both to dogs and men who are still on their promotion the blue smoke wreaths from mr s cigar rose and floated out slowly on the heavy air he felt thoroughly contented with himself and at peace with all mankind not the most violent speech of the most radical member of the government would have had power to him greatly just then the inner door of the study opened gently mr looked round with a smile he recognised at once the quiet way in which his wife always opened and shut a door without noise and without hurry io mrs part i well he said still smiling and using naturally enough in his present complacent state of mind the old pet name by which he had called her in pleasant hours for so many years well what do you want mrs was just a trifle nervous she walked rather more rapidly than usual across the room to the open window looking at her husband all the while with a timid suggestion of apology in her expression she saw that he was happy and contented she came as the bearer of evil tidings and it grieved her i am so sorry to interrupt you she said laying a small dainty hand upon the arm of his rough shooting coat but i have been sadly disturbed and distressed while you have been away i had no opportunity of talking to you last night but fm afraid i must trouble you with it this morning dear me said the looking down at her what s the matter has jones broken out in all of a sudden or has there been a row with about the relief that fellow s always making some bother at the board and trying to make cut off a shilling here and a loaf there if there was any chance of that man s having to go into the house himself some day he d look at the matter from a very much more merciful point of view i suspect mr took a long pull at his cigar in rather a way as if by so doing he hoped in some mysterious manner to reduce mr s ch viii a sketch in black and white income so sensibly that that individual might speedily find himself in imminent danger of ending his days in the it has nothing to do with answered mrs in truth she found it very difficult with her husband standing there of any serious trouble to in her story johnson hasn t given warning i hope said mr i spoke to him rather sharply just before i went away about leaving the in such a mess he was surly but i thought he d have got over it by the time i came back no johnson is just as civil and respectful as usual mrs sat down there was a favourite arm chair of the s drawn into the window and she felt that she could talk better sitting down her heart was beating fast and it was a little trying to stand up it is about elizabeth she said that i want to speak to you elizabeth the took his cigar out of his mouth and let the newspaper drop to the ground thereby causing and to jump at the wholly conclusion that he was going for a walk and throwing them into a frightful state of agitation get down dogs he said rather roughly and then added why my dear what in the world has done elizabeth hasn t done anything yet replied mrs but she doing some mrs part i thing which i am sure you will agree with me in thinking most indeed said mr with a touch of surprise loved his wife very faithfully too faithfully to stand aside from and her he would not permit himself to be clear sighted regarding her the boyish devotion with which as a tall fine looking lad he had and won pretty with her sweet pink and white face and little curls arose in him even now and blinded him to her faults and weaknesses and only when she laid hands on elizabeth who looked at him with the same clear gray eyes and spoke to him in the same full toned voice as the younger brother whom he lost years ago and mourned so deeply then and then only did s loyalty a little and did he allow himself to question for a moment the entire wisdom of his wife s thought and action her husband s tone might have warned mrs that he was not prepared to be sympathetic but the whole bitterness of the scene with her niece and of her own subsequent meditations overwhelmed her as soon as she had fairly begun her she went on with an almost painful and with very little perception of her listener s real state of mind elizabeth she said is tired of already she told me | 32 |
rarely mentioned the real sorrow of their lives to each other but it was hardly ever absent from mrs s mind all the same the want the disappointment was always present with her terrible urgent she tried to hide and conceal it and only in moments of very strong feeling did she give voice to the sorrow that she always felt mr had desired a child as as his wife at this moment he would have given ch viii a sketch in black and white his right hand to see a tall handsome boy who would call him father leap that sunk fence out of the meadow and swing across the smooth lawn to greet him but men are much less impatient of the inevitable than women mr had got accustomed to the fact of having no child it was speaking one of the very foundation stones of his life utterly immovable nothing could alter the fact he took it for granted and it was only when his wife s bitter cry rang in his ears as it did just now that he clearly how great his loss was the very tramp under the hedge has children and why not i cried mrs again the stepped inside the window he laid his hand quietly on her shoulder my darling he said if you had had a child it might have caused you infinitely deeper sorrow than any you know now your heart is empty but it might have been tortured and broken with agony of which thank god you know nothing he waited a moment and then added we have each other after all and the memory of long peaceful years to look back upon and i hope though we might have done more for this place that still we have not lived here quite in vain and that we shall leave things just a trifle better than we found them take comfort dear heart let the child go and trust for the best in the future mrs stood up her heart melted within her ii mrs she said very quietly and putting her arms round his neck gave him a long sighing kiss the first kiss of the youth and the maiden he in the glory of his strength and she in the glory of her beauty is the very blossom of life the inspiration of the poet and makes the round world laugh with joy but the kiss of man and wife in the dusty afternoon of life when the transport and illusion of youth are dead after long years of disappointment struggle and hope grown tired in the stress and strain of daily living the kiss of those two pausing for a moment and turning to each other in faithful love while the road stretches out before them pale and misty into the silence of the great unknown land telling as it does of temptation and patient endurance may well fill heaven itself and the clear eyed angels with a solemn gladness mrs s soul received comfort she protested no longer she would utter no complaint though the most excellent of her maids was taken from her she did not approve but for love s dear sake she submitted she would let elizabeth depart in peace when he was left alone mr took a turn or two up and down the study he had been deeply moved for a moment he had seemed to look into the everlasting heart of things it was a fine sensation undoubtedly but the air on these extreme heights of feeling is too highly for ordinary human lungs to stand it long the felt he must descend to lower ground again ch viii a sketch in black and white as soon as possible and walk in common comfortable paths he shrank modestly from the thought of his own emotion and wanted to get back to his usual level without delay there was none of that about him which treasures up and caresses the remembrance of strong feeling when the feeling itself has passed away he went out on to the steps and drew a long breath of the sweet summer air flung away the stump of his cigar and picking up the paper tried to compose himself by glancing over the foreign the weather and the state of the by this time the morning was pretty far advanced and the sun had risen high the clouds which had obscured it earlier and burning up the mists which lingered about the valley it was evidently going to be a day the two tired with their excursion into the were lying panting on the gravel walk with their red tongues out of their mouths they were very hot and yet they earnestly desired some fresh excitement having like most light minded people an unlimited swallow for sensation of any kind the was just settling down comfortably to the news from and the latest fight in the french chamber when a little incident occurred which satisfied the dogs craving for diversion and threatened to force mr back into the region of emotion from which he was just successfully escaping elizabeth had about the house ii mrs for some time after breakfast she fully expected a summons from her aunt or uncle and listened rather anxiously for a call or for the ringing of the study bell but the house was unusually quiet she could hear the maids moving about in the upper rooms and talking a little over their work the warm air was filled with the drowsy hum of bees which attracted by the plants and cut flowers in the sitting rooms had wandered in through the wide open windows and were now becoming a little worried and angry in their unsuccessful efforts to get out again elizabeth grew more and more nervous it is horrible to know that people are discussing you and your conduct especially | 32 |
when you have a lurking suspicion that it is possible to view both one and the other in a very unpleasant light elizabeth found that she could not fix her attention on anything her thoughts would keep wandering away to the study and to the little scene which was probably being there at last she picked up a book and taking her made her way out into the garden hoping to attain there to that philosophic calm of mind which was obviously indoors she thought after wandering about for a little while that she would go to the broad walk which at this time of day would be pleasantly shaded and where as the wind was in the west she would benefit by all the breeze that might be stirring to reach this cool retreat she had to cross the bottom of the lawn on to which the study windows opened ch viii a sketch in black and white and seeing elizabeth in the distance as she walked slowly across the lawn and thinking that she presented an excellent object on which to their superfluous energies and thinking also that she might possibly be into taking them for a walk made a rush at her over the grass and up on her with excited and foolish delight mr aware even amid the fiery and of the members of the french chamber that something had moved near looked up sharply and perceiving elizabeth s shouted to the dogs and hurried across to her rescue he thought elizabeth wonderfully pretty as with a flushed face half vexed and half laughing she struggled with her book and and the two irrepressible all at once i wish you would teach your dogs to practise a little more self control uncle she said looking up at him quite forgetting in the confusion of the moment that mr had in all probability just been hearing a very full and particular account of her sins they have almost torn me to pieces and made me so hot he did not answer but applied himself to the two by a short and summary process to a becoming state of humility and obedience then taking elizabeth s book from her he walked silently beside her to the broad walk as she recovered from the of the last few moments all her returned her uncle s i mrs part i silence made her fear that he might have accepted mrs s account of their difference of opinion as literally true and might put the worst construction on her action she was afraid he thought her ungrateful and indifferent not only to her relations pleasure but wanting as mrs had told her in proper respect to her husband s memory if mr did think these things then elizabeth felt that she should be deeply ashamed that she should lose her and be obliged to confess that she had made a most contemptible mistake stung by a sharp sense of discomfort and elizabeth stopped suddenly and glanced at mr hoping to gather some information from the expression of his face their eyes met mr looked at the beautiful young woman earnestly and sadly for a moment then he said so you want to go away from us the tone of her uncle s voice affected elizabeth strongly but she read in his face that he did not wholly condemn her and immediately she desired to justify herself she dug the point of her rather nervously into the ground as she spoke but she answered clearly and directly i have several good reasons for wishing to go up to london this winter i believe that i owe a certain duty to robert s relations she paused a moment and mr turned his head away there was something very painful to him in the thought that this young ch viii a sketch in black and white creature was a widow it seemed so so out of the reasonable course of things he disliked to hear her make any direct allusion to her husband i know aunt does not recognise any duty to them on my part but i can t help that i must judge for myself in some matters elizabeth drew herself up a little proudly she had regained her confidence in the justice of her own cause yes said mr speaking slowly so i have been telling your aunt you want to see more of the world than you can in a quiet the way country like this it is quite natural i don t blame you you are still very young and life is still full of promise to you everything here is old and has very little promise in it except the sure promise of decay he added half to himself smiling rather sadly and sticking out his under lip elizabeth turned to him suddenly i don t want to leave you she said with emphasis ah but there s the rub answered the you see unfortunately in this world we can t take a bit here and a bit there just as we like with a little trouble we can generally get the thing we want but in the getting of it we are pretty sure to lose something else we care a good deal about too it isn t pleasant my dear but like a good many other unpleasant things it s true mr spoke seriously out of the ful mrs part i ness of his own experience elizabeth stood gazing away to the far blue horizon and wishing that truth was of a less harsh and nature that the law of all should be sacrifice in some form or other seems rather hard at twenty so my dear child said mr more cheerfully see and know all that you can live in the thick of the stir and the turmoil and then some day perhaps when | 32 |
you have grown a little sick and tired of it all most people grow sick and tired at last you may be glad to come back to poor sleepy old again elizabeth might go but she wanted more than just leave to do that she wanted to feel sure that it was all right between her and her uncle she laid her hand gently on his arm and said simply as she might have done when she was quite a little but you re sure you are not very angry with me uncle no no he answered quickly looking at her with keen kindly gray eyes i have never been very angry with you in all your life have i come now that matter s settled and done with we ll say no more about it but go round to the stables and have a look at the horses ch ix a sketch in black and white chapter ix remember if you mean to please to press your point with modesty and ease it would not be true to say that the energetic and active of had actually fallen in love with elizabeth on the hot afternoon when deserted half way by worthy mr he called alone at falling in love is altogether too poetical and fanciful a term to apply justly to mr s state of feeling yet when he recovered from the irritation into which his squire s letter and mr s disposition to join a and body had thrown him he began to think almost oftener than he wished of mrs of all things in the world he loved power he would use power for the best and highest ends of course but still the enjoyment of the mere possession of it was enormous to him as he prepared severe sermons in his bleak uncomfortable study as he went about his parish the and giving rather grim consolation to the afflicted even in church on sunday mr could not help seeing visions of all he might gain mrs part i of the extended sphere of influence he might possess if he really hardly liked to put the thought into words he could marry mrs how far her personal charms influenced him mr did not care to ask himself he affected a certain of thought which made him to admit that he was in any way moved by the fact that mrs was a singularly handsome woman he had never quite decided in his own mind whether was not after all the higher state certain expressions of st paul s bearing apparently on the subject troubled him a good deal not to mention the very clearly expressed views of many of the fathers mr believed he was working for a great cause he was a young man and the word with a capital letter though perhaps he would have found it a little difficult to define exactly what he meant by it any way he was devoted to the unknown quantity represented by this word and so strangely do we even the most earnest of us deceive and ourselves he was prepared to persuade himself that there was a touch of noble self sacrifice in giving up the honours of the priest if by marrying he could advance the opinions and which he believed would be so both to the church and people of england mr must not be accused of being it would not satisfy him merely to carry off the fair daughter of the she must be converted too and work as earnestly for the cause as he did himself mr had often ch ix a sketch in black and white said rather sharp things about the excellent ladies of the clergy and their power of setting their husbands and their husbands by the ears but mr did his best to forget his own and statements now gradually he began to see that there might be a good deal under certain circumstances to be said for a married clergy he was rather annoyed when he detected an inclination in himself towards this of his views but still the thought of mrs haunted him and after a week or two he became very anxious to see her again heretofore however his visits to had resembled those of angels at least in the particular of being few and far between and he did not see his way now to changing his custom and calling there frequently for no cause after the interview with her husband mrs had taken up a new attitude with regard to elizabeth s plans she did not pretend to think it desirable that her niece should settle alone in london and become a recognised member of the frank dangerous and set but she exerted a severe self control and managed to from any more open objections she was supported by a very sincere wish to please mr and by a comfortable sense that for his sake she was nobly enduring a mild form of the sacrifice of her own opinions was valuable she felt in proportion as it was painful she would deny nothing but it would be unreasonable to expect that she should forego a little secret self mrs part i complacency when she remembered how much she was giving up to please him should go with elizabeth that of course was determined it was the very crown and glory of her self and when her niece protested against thus her of a valued and trusted servant mrs firmly intimated that there were limits even to her powers of giving way that elizabeth being left in all other ways entire mistress of her own actions must in this one particular respect the wishes of those who though they were perhaps behind the world were still not entirely devoid of common sense speaking mrs regarded the worthy and excellent in the light of the coals of | 32 |
is upon a strong belief in his own it is simply intolerable he felt compelled to set his conscience at rest again he turned to elizabeth and spoke eagerly desiring earnestly to win her to his opinions and thereby i s mrs part i justify in the end his own momentary from the strict path of virtue i wish he said i do wish most truly mrs that i could persuade you to take a living interest in these matters elizabeth felt almost annoyed by the with which he spoke just then a servant came across from the house to announce that tea was ready indoors elizabeth rose and mr before turning to follow the messenger spoke again i wish it very much he said mrs will you let me lend you some books and which will put before you much more clearly and forcibly than i can the importance of these questions fm afraid i shouldn t have time to read them now she answered wishing that he would not make the matter such a personal one then later in the autumn he insisted i will bring them over to there is always plenty of time for reading during the long evenings i shan t be here then said elizabeth they were walking across the lawn to the house mr stopped short and asked quite sharply with a decided touch of his usual why where are you going to london she answered and added slowly i don t quite know when i shall come back she remembered mr s words she would only come back when she had seen every ch ix a sketch in black and white thing and grown tired of everything it seemed to elizabeth standing opposite to mr with his vexed and anxious face in the quiet sunny light of the summer afternoon that it might be a very long time before that came to pass mr drank mrs s excellent tea in silence and devoured her perfect bread and butter without a word he was intensely annoyed all his plans seemed to be broken off short his had been coming on so nicely and now everything seemed over mrs was going away and mr mentally had recourse to the again he did not quite like to think how very much he minded her going mrs chapter x oil les d there is always something not only painful but bewildering in going back after a lapse of time to a house one has known very intimately under other circumstances it is haunted by dead and absent faces and it is haunted too by an past self which dogs one s footsteps for ever crying reproachfully why are you different why are you no longer what you were which is the true and eternal which is the false and passing self the past and the present struggle together and it is difficult to reconcile them one has a necessity upon one to justify the present to that past and yet a wild yearning at times to take the latter to one s heart again and bid the commonplace present to a sensitive and imaginative nature this struggle becomes absolutely terrible the first few days that elizabeth spent in london were very sad and weary and the coldness of mrs s farewell to her had been painful but perhaps the kindness of the s farewell had been even more so after all was a very peaceful harbour of ch x a sketch in black and white refuge now she felt that she was forth on to the great ocean of life to sink or swim as she might with only her own courage and wit and to guide her she had set sail like many another young soul to search for an unknown good and the first few days of the voyage were anything but encouraging elizabeth felt that if she had clearly beforehand how profoundly the return to this house would have affected her she should certainly have stayed quietly at the swallowed all her aunt s social and submitted without a murmur to any amount of monotony she was too prone at all times to take a mental review of her situation to ask herself what she had accomplished so far and what she intended to accomplish in the coming time in the loneliness and silence of this familiar house she became a perfect prey to melancholy meditations her thoughts upon herself and her present position till she was overcome with morbid self pity outwardly everything was just as she had left it little more than a year before when in hurry and anxiety she had packed away the things she valued most and left the rooms swept and for the tenant it was all just the same only there were the traces of a year s wear and tear upon it a year s freshness gone out of it elizabeth felt that she and her furniture had suffered the same fate but alas how much more tender human flesh and blood can suffer how much more of its youth and freshness it can lose in a year s mrs part i time than these things can there is something painful and yet almost absurd in comparing notes with one s own chairs and tables and in observing how far more indifferent they are to the of time than one is a meditation of this kind does not tend to an increase of personal vanity london was very empty still and the frank were still abroad so that there was no hope of any acquaintance looking in upon elizabeth whose advent might relieve the of her first week or two at home mrs frank who had a remarkable power of interest and amusement from other people s affairs felt immensely sorry at not being on the spot to her sister in law s settling | 32 |
cup it s the whole thing it is dreadful being here i wonder why i ever came it is strange at first answered with a slight glimmering of the situation but it will seem more natural after a bit ma am yes it s broke past mending she added to herself as she stooped down to collect the scattered fragments of the poor little china cup elizabeth stood still leaning her hands on the back of the chair her eyes fixed on the open window and a far away look on her face she could see the gray houses on the other side of the street which were mostly shut up still with closed blinds and shutters they looked singularly dull and in the glare of the dusty morning sunshine an organ was the airs from the last comic opera a little way off street cries in tones once fresh but now strained and hoarse rose now and again in pathetic from the street below while the confused muffled roar of the great leading down to bridge formed a dull heavy bass to the nearer sounds elizabeth stood involuntarily listening everything seemed to her very sad very trivial very indifferent very terrible at that moment life was far too vast and and dark for her to try to comprehend it all she could not understand why she was left alone like this with no one to train and help and ch x a sketch in black and white guide her the strain of the last few days was telling upon her heavily she seemed to suffer a moral and spiritual and to lose her hold upon all realities past present and future were alike an to her rising from her stooping posture with a slightly heated face after collecting the fragments of the broken cup gazed at her in alarm dear dear how white and ill you do look ma am she said hastily shall i fetch you some wine or something how i wish mrs smart was here to see to you i never was a very good hand at nursing oh i shall be all right in a minute answered elizabeth sitting down wearily but i can t go on the china you must do it yourself please i m so tired tu go downstairs and be quiet she got up after a few minutes and went down into the bare drawing room but it was impossible in her present frame of mind for elizabeth to be quiet being quiet meant sinking back into the state of morbid melancholy from which she had tried so hard to rouse herself at breakfast time being quiet meant crying till she was utterly tired out and then in despair deciding to own herself beaten and going back to things had come to a crisis elizabeth felt she must make up her mind once and for all the atmosphere of the room seemed to her she went hastily and threw both the windows on to the balcony up as high as they would go letting mrs part i the fresh air and all the confused stir and murmur of the street in with a rush then she turned and walked up and down the two rooms trying hard to master her sense of loneliness and and to regain her determination and self confidence there was a little sketch of robert hanging in the back drawing room just a slight sketch but half finished yet like so many mere sketches giving a much more living suggestion of the original than a more finished portrait it had been done by one of frank s innumerable artist friends a few months before his brother s marriage in the hurry of her departure a year before elizabeth had left it behind hanging on the wall and it was one of the first things that had greeted her when she returned to her own house she had hardly dared to look at it hardly dared to go into the room with it during the last three days she fancied there would be something almost in the pictured face now in her urgent walk elizabeth stopped suddenly opposite to the sketch she had arrived at a decision she would neither nor give way any more she would cast her sorrow behind her and throw herself entirely upon the future elizabeth hardly knew how much she meant by this decision but she had a vague conviction notwithstanding the difficulties about robert s relations that her duty to her aunt and uncle and her duty to her husband were in some strange way linked together that in finally she also the tenderness which she owed ch x a sketch in black and white to robert s memory she was going to try to live a new life she felt that she could not have her husband a silent witness of that attempt elizabeth moved forward and took the sketch down from its place on the y and while she looked earnestly at it hot tears gathered in her eyes the outline and making it and indistinct in a sudden of feeling half penitent and half defiant she raised the to her lips and kissed it passionately over and over again crying oh my darling my darling why did you die why did you leave me alone you who loved me she paused and then added quietly ah indeed why still the organ ran through the light airs from the opera and the street cries sounded plaintive in the summer air and the murmur of the busy came hoarse from the distance in through the widely open windows elizabeth kissed the picture once more very gently and reverently as we kiss the dead when we bid them good bye for ever then kneeling down before her writing table she unlocked a little drawer and laid it away face downwards | 32 |
in the narrow place rising she locked the drawer again that is done she said softly she turned and walked thoughtfully to the open window and stood for some minutes in the sunshine and fresh air there was something soothing and comforting to mrs part i her after her burst of lonely passion in the life of the dusty street people moved by on their business or pleasure looking satisfied and commonplace life did not seem to be a mystery and death an to them they seemed to take it all for granted without being troubled by any strange regarding themselves or anything else elizabeth looking at them felt herself growing quiet growing again right or wrong she felt strengthened and encouraged she told herself she had done well to venture forth once more the coming years might hold sweet compensation for her past sorrow she would have courage just now in the prime of her youthful beauty and enthusiasm elizabeth demanded to live largely rather than self seemed to her less beautiful than self development and she turned once more towards the future with an almost motion of hope when she moved away from the window there was a new very resolute look on her handsome face she went out on to the stairs and called and when that worthy woman appeared in a lively state of agitation and disaster elizabeth said to her in a clear voice with no traces of her late weakness bring down all that china please and i ll arrange it and tell one of the maids to have a here at half past two i shall want you to go out with me then after a pause she added i don t like the house as it is i want to go to ch x a sketch in black and white a s this afternoon and make arrangements about its being done up thanks in answer to some inquiries concerning her health i feel perfectly well now during the remainder of september and the first weeks of october the house was given over to painters and notwithstanding the groans of the servants elizabeth wanted something to do so she amused herself by gratifying every passing fancy in the matter of legged tables and chairs rich heavy curtains soft coloured indian carpets mantel shelf arrangements and those strange of colour which turn modern dwelling houses into dark full of mysterious suggestions of almost oppressive luxury fortunately elizabeth had a fairly good balance at her banker s for these are pretty costly affairs but even so it did occur to her to wonder once or twice if she was not spending a good deal of money when the work people at last departed and elizabeth surveyed her house she felt a little like a child with a new box of toys it really was all wonderfully harmonious and charming but it is dull to play with a new box of toys all and she still felt lonely enough at times and unhappy and still the picture of robert lay face downwards in the writing table drawer mrs chapter xi en ce il y a de k c est le de qui n est ni c r ni my dear elizabeth it is perfectly delightful to see you again and have you settled so near us exclaimed mrs frank coming with a pleasant rustle of many garments into elizabeth s drawing room one afternoon towards the end of october mrs frank took the stage admirably her and left nothing to be desired she always looked equally neat and fresh always equally mistress of herself and of the situation wherever she was she appeared to become quite naturally the centre of the system of things everything round her she was more highly finished both in looks and manner than is usual with our who too often have a tendency towards uncertainty of outline i suppose it may be reckoned as one of the many unfortunate results of our misty dingy english climate that english women are apt to be slightly indistinct they frequently suggest the notion of persons moving about in the twilight who are nervous lest they should be betrayed into ch xi a sketch in black and white mistakes by the semi darkness around them there is something agreeable if a little startling in meeting with a woman like mrs frank in whose mind the brightest daylight always and who moves through life with admirable self confidence consequent on the clearness of her mental atmosphere she was a dainty little person with a complexion large blue eyes rather too light in colour perhaps and fair brown hair arranged low on her forehead in soft waves her features were small and neat without having any claims to remarkable beauty she was exceedingly pleasant to look at there were no mysteries surprises or sudden about her having seen her once you had seen her always she did not you unexpectedly on the other hand she never disappointed you but always produced the same effect of comfortable security and refined self satisfaction on the whole women liked mrs frank more than men did they found her so capable and so supporting a few of her acquaintances certainly accused her of taking up a little too much room and having too great a disposition to her pretty fingers into every pie but then who shall escape altogether mrs frank was not only truly glad to see elizabeth again but she had a little bit of on hand and nothing raised her spirits and gave such a delicate zest to her intercourse with her fellow creatures as the consciousness that it was mrs part i necessary for her to manage them and do her best gently and to get her own way with them that morning at breakfast frank to whose kindly and easy going nature anything in the shape of a scene | 32 |
was utterly distasteful had said to her from behind his morning paper you ll ask elizabeth to dine here tomorrow night yes she had answered somewhat she was deeply engaged in to the wants of her eldest child a slim curly headed little girl of about three who sat perched upon a high chair at the breakfast table and whose behaviour as soon as her hunger was satisfied had become decidedly more cheerful than i think ril ask or to dinner too continued frank emerging from behind his paper again why my darling child do remember to hold your spoon with your right hand the first time she comes frank i should really think elizabeth would prefer to be alone with us frank was feeling rather dismal and rather irritable the memories of a very bad passage across the channel the day before still haunted him he was sensible that his play time was over for this year and that nine months of hard work stretched themselves out before him he was very fond of elizabeth he admired her greatly but he shrank from the idea of a pathetic interview with her and desired to erect a ch xi a sketch in black and white of indifferent friends between himself and any unnecessary of emotion on her part well you see really he answered in a slightly depressed and grumbling tone the meeting must be rather painful any way i haven t seen elizabeth since february and of course she ll feel coming here again you can t be sure of elizabeth you know and i hate to see a woman upset it s so very unpleasant i really think the meeting would go off better if somebody else was here too darling a little more milk don t it there yes perhaps it would be best said mrs frank only frank if we must have somebody pray ask mr was never very intelligent and he is too utterly tiresome now that he has gone on to the stage he talks the most unlimited shop young gentlemen always are a bore when they like their professions they treat one to so much unnecessary information about them oh my good child she cried suddenly what an awful mess during the time that her had been occupied in on poor mr s had indulged in a little experiment in landscape by pouring half the contents of her on to the table cloth a shallow river after the plates and forks and was now pouring cheerfully in a miniature off the edge of the table and on to the little girl s white lap quick a frank cried his wife her frock will be utterly ruined mrs part i while frank assisted to dam up the river and s wet he continued his little tm sure s a charming fellow you never have appreciated him women are so horribly prejudiced there that ll do frank you re doing more harm than good now i always dislike anybody i m always being told to admire it is only natural now be careful and don t make any more very well then i ll ask elizabeth to come and mr is to come too shall i tell her that really i m afraid she said looking across at her husband it will seem rather odd what shall i say but frank having gained his point became quite ready to dismiss all further consideration of the matter in a light and airy manner oh anything you like he said you re far more ingenious than i am now i must go good bye you dirty little dear he added as he stooped down and kissed the little maiden in the high chair it was in consequence of this conversation that mrs frank arrived at elizabeth s house that afternoon with a sense that she had a mission to accomplish she had quite settled in her own mind that for everybody s comfort there had better be as little allusion to the past as possible she strongly objected herself to sorrow misfortune or death and did her best to their existence so she decided to meet her law in a cheerful and easy spirit ch xi a sketch in black and white it is perfectly charming to see you again and have you really settled near us she said as she kissed elizabeth on both cheeks holding her hands and smiling at her in a composed and brilliant way now my dear i ve only come in for five minutes yes thanks i will sit down here by the fire and warm my feet i am cold there that s nice you dear creature she continued smiling at elizabeth again as soon as she had established herself comfortably you can t think how glad i am that you have come i really am thankful you made up your mind to leave you must have been nearly bored to death how anybody ever to live in the country all the year round i for my part simply can t imagine tea yes please and plenty of sugar thanks dear what lovely hands you have elizabeth elizabeth smiled too as she gave mrs frank her cup of tea the two women were sitting in front of the fire with a low tea table between them mrs frank warming her feet in a remarkably neat pair of french boots on the stone elizabeth was inclined to accuse her sister in law of being rather at the same time she could not help being amused at her she had been almost entirely alone for the last six weeks and felt somewhat out of the habit of talking herself conversation too in the neighbourhood of is wont to move forward with singular mrs part i deliberation a not a rapid stream flowing slowly round large islands of silence | 32 |
no doubt had objected elizabeth was very fond of frank and managed generally to find excellent excuses for his little when she had recovered from her first feeling of irritation too she really was not sure whether it was not rather a relief to feel that some stranger would be at her brother in law s whose presence would make i mrs part i all intimate conversation impossible poor elizabeth had decided to her heart against the past on the day that she laid away her husband s picture sometimes fortunately for us our nature is stronger than our will elizabeth had determined to do violence to her own best instincts but the instincts were by no means dead they stirred within her and gave her a good deal of trouble at times mrs frank s little dinners were always charming they were pretty and they were excellent too mrs frank herself was always delightfully dressed and she had the faculty which belongs to some women of keeping you continually aware not merely of what she said but of herself you never forgot that you were in the company of a pretty young woman whose self was more important than either the clothes she wore or the words she said elizabeth who for so long had enjoyed no more lively or inspiring society than a sick room or the somewhat neighbourhood of afforded found herself pleasantly in the intelligent and genial atmosphere of the frank house it was to be with people of her own age to feel that she might say what she liked without any fear of treading on forbidden ground it was refreshing to listen to her companions light gossip and easy criticism to move in their atmosphere she had an uncomfortable sense now and then that watched her rather keenly and tried to draw her out on one or two subjects he did both very gracefully but elizabeth was inclined to resent any appearance of ch xii a sketch in black and white interest on his part she connected him with certain feelings of annoyance and was disposed to find fault with him on the slightest provocation after dinner when the little party had returned to the drawing room and who were standing together in front of the fire had a pretty sharp over one of their mutual acquaintances i simply can t understand why you all admire so much mr she said and i can t imagine anybody less fitted for the stage just think of his figure he has such a remarkably bad way of moving why my dear mrs his figure is just his strong point everybody admits that it will make him quite a reputation indeed the public must be easily pleased she answered now can you pretend to tell me that he won t be perfectly appalling in or just think of the severe simplicity of he is pretty i admit but that s a mere matter of colouring he ll lose it very soon then he looks so foolish poor said frank must be very fond of him oh i m not the least prejudiced against him said mrs frank quickly i am calm and i let my imagination play quite freely round the subject which we know is the sure sign of high culture it is you who are all prejudiced you are all she added waving her firm little white hands all utterly that s my opinion mrs part i it s no good said frank who had been standing near them turning away and across the room towards elizabeth who was sitting on a broad at right angles to the fireplace never will have the slightest mercy on poor dear and he really is the most innocent creature in the world frank gathered up the tails of his evening coat in either hand and subsided comfortably on to the seat by her side elizabeth had been listening with some amusement to the conversation she was leaning back lazily with her head thrown up and resting against the dusky red covering of the back of the as frank sat down she turned her face towards him without otherwise shifting her easy graceful position and gave him a quiet smile of welcome the evening had gone so brightly and pleasantly thus far that frank had pretty well forgotten the feeling which had prompted him to beg his wife to let some be present on this occasion as elizabeth smiled at him her youthful beauty and the fact of her struck frank as strangely at he remembered her sweet face haggard with long night watches and strange with the dread of death and separation during the days of weary waiting that he had spent with her only nine months ago instinctively he lowered his voice and fell into a somewhat sentimental key thereby producing exactly the results that he had taken such pains to provide against the day before ch xii a sketch in black and white i am so glad you have come to london elizabeth he said gently i can t help feeling that we have more right to you than anybody else in virtue of for robert s sake you know he paused a moment and then added it would have pained me very much if circumstances had loosened the tie between us elizabeth smiled rather faintly she too remembered those sad days and nights nine months ago and she struggled against the remembrance she did not answer there was a pause i don t care about artistic dressing and i never shall was saying meanwhile to of course it wouldn t do for me in the least and that no doubt does influence me a little but candidly i think people who go in for it generally look fearfully except on great occasions when they are got up and then there is a certain dressing gown and slippers effect | 32 |
of the order of sentiment that happy young people are given to enjoying because they have very little notion what it really and that older and more experienced people are somewhat disposed to fight shy of the words ran thus my love lies low beneath the grass the sad sea to earth and sky the sweetest joys the pass good bye dear heart good bye her gentle eyes are closed in death the wind blows low the wind blows high our mortal life is but a breath good bye dear heart good bye her lovely lips are pale and cold when brown leaves fall bare branches sigh a merry tale too soon is told good bye dear heart good bye n mrs vain is all glory all delight since man is only bom to die glad day lies slain by envious night good bye dear heart good bye sang with an air of strong conviction himself to the of the words till an atmosphere of hopeless melancholy seemed to the cheerful room frank conscious that his wife looking extremely well and material was sitting opposite to him that his two babies were sleeping peacefully in their little white upstairs and that he personally was about as far away from everlasting falling leaves moaning seas and all the rest of it as any man could reasonably expect to be sat his fair beard with one hand and quietly enjoying this little excursion into the kingdom of misery but poor elizabeth being already in a rather state of mind found the song altogether too sad and too when the last wailing good bye had died into silence she was very nearly crying got up from the piano that is dismal isn t it he said smiling and into his ordinary easy manner i can t bear encouraging songs they are horribly and nice heroic drum songs don t suit my voice so he added still smiling and turning towards elizabeth i take remarkable delight in these lamentable was sorry he had spoken so lightly when he looked at her from the purely artistic i ch xii a sketch in black and white point of view it was delightful to contemplate elizabeth her long clinging black dress her pale pathetic face the soft masses of her brown hair her gray eyes wide open looking out into space her lips tremulous with emotion with the dusky red background of the altogether she made a charming picture a sort of nineteenth century edition of our lady of sorrow was a little provoked with himself for he saw that his words upon her and destroyed the effect of his song elizabeth did not answer him she turned away quickly to frank and said in a rather unsteady voice i think ril go home frank would you mind just walking back with me as it s so close by but my dearest elizabeth cried mrs frank breaking in with her usual emphasis and vivacity it s so early do remember that you are no longer among the who no doubt regard ten o clock as a sacred hour devoted alike by men and gods to saying good night and going to bed remember that you have returned to life and that we are enlightened creature entirely indifferent to times and seasons and new and stay a little longer elizabeth we shan t retire to our rest for hours yet but elizabeth felt that things had gone too far she was sensible that was watching her and she knew that she could not recover complete serenity and composure she wanted to be alone and quiet i o mrs i think i ll go frank please she said again if you don t mind there was a look of almost piteous entreaty on her face which reminded him strangely of the night they had parted in the hall at all right he said you re tired and we ll go it isn t worth while to call a cab well if you must go elizabeth good night said mrs frank shall i see you to morrow will you be at home in the afternoon oh well never mind now you do look fearfully tired all of a sudden i can send nurse and the children round in the morning to find out your plans to th said no word good oi bad they shook hands in silence she had an uncomfortable sense that his views regarding hei were developing and she felt somewhat towards him can never be very pleasant to the victim however great be the scientific truths that it may eventually ch xiii a sketch ht black and white i i chapter xiii motives imply weakness and the existence of evil and temptation the nature would act from impulse alone after and frank had gone mr was guilty of a distinct impertinence he stood for fully five minutes looking into the fire without speaking a word to his charming hostess he had enjoyed himself that is to say for some hours he had felt decidedly interested he admired elizabeth s strong clear type of beauty and her stately bearing there was no tiresome white about her he saw that she was one of those women in whom the mind and body are so intimately connected and so dependent on one another that expression and manner will instantly reveal the real feeling within even while the words spoken are quiet and restrained but had to own that he had made a slight mistake and that the end of the evening had not been wholly successful he had a foolish feeling of satisfaction though in the fact that elizabeth was walking home our lady of sorrow going off in a four wheeled cab or even in a would i mrs part i really have been a little too trying and he could picture her tall black clad figure and | 32 |
lover you seem to ha ve made up your mind said after a time picking up her work and beginning to draw her needle in and out of the stuff with a great show of industry you seem to i mrs part i have made up your mind that you will be permitted to explore this new country as much as you like now really between ourselves mr i am a little doubtful about that you know my sister in law is not at all the sort of woman who would enjoy being observed as an interesting study she is not at all given to confidences to my mind she is rather inscrutable ah there lies the charm said again there is nothing in the world more interesting than the process of getting to know some people the difficulties only help to keep up the excitement one begins by wishing a little one ends by wishing quite immensely really to know them well and when you do succeed at last in knowing these remarkable people well what then asked mrs frank looking up with a innocent air of inquiry oh well said smiling then i suppose you swear eternal friendship or just drop them added she looking down at her work again and go off and find somebody else to try experiments upon you are a little severe mrs said did not answer for once she felt she had off her adversary and she was willing to rest on her success but now just as a matter of theory you know asked after a minute or two do you think it possible for a man and woman really to make friends ch xiii a sketch in black and white they generally end by making a good deal more than friends or less than friends she answered i never indulge in theories you know i judge by practice you think it can t be done then said fm sorry it ought to be possible but i confess for my own part i have never quite succeeded people always one so now i have tried several times to make friends with young girls but their admirable mothers always appeared like the head of and turned me to stone with a delicate but appalling hint regarding my intentions i never had any intentions you know i merely wanted to the sort of world a young girl lives in married women are rather dangerous he added slowly that s why you have never really made friends with me i suppose said quickly no answered looking at her gently and calmly i have never thought you dangerous mrs you are quite satisfied with frank and your children you know being a little afraid that this time her adversary had off her was silent i have had to fall back upon old ladies continued returning to the former subject of his discourse they are very nice and kind and pet me delightfully but there is a want of dramatic interest about them they live so much in the past and refer so constantly to excellent and clever and witty people who died long before i was born it all seems over you know and that is slightly i mrs part l his companion shivered a little there was something to her painfully tragic in the idea of growing old and of its all being over moved across to mrs frank and picked up some of which had fallen off her lap on to the floor as he gave them to her he said it would be a very great pleasure to me to know your sister in law better will you help me to do so mrs pray don t be so barbarous as to forbid me to explore the new country oh my thanks she said then getting up and settling down the waist of her dress she added there s frank i believe coming in i don t think it will matter very much mr whether i forbid you or not i observe that you have a remarkable of getting your own way have i he said yes well perhaps i have that because i am never really very anxious about getting it after all exactly said mrs frank looking him full in the face i am not the least afraid that you will ever die of a broken heart i sincerely trust not he answered laughing though really mrs when one comes to think of it it might be a very interesting experience ch xiv a sketch in black and white chapter xiv friendship indeed a fair day in the affections from storm and it daylight in the understanding out of darkness and confusion of thoughts elizabeth had been nearly five months in london not only the frank but a number of other people whom she knew had come back for the winter an unusually handsome woman with a pretty house and a pleasantly melancholy history is sure to have a good many friends and admirers elizabeth refused to go out much but still she saw a good deal of society five o clock tea is such an innocent meal no one can reasonably take exception to it people would just drop in and having dropped in once would drop in again mrs s house and face and circumstances began to make her quite a reputation in a certain set yet it must be owned that poor elizabeth was not very happy she felt the want of a positive interest in life sometimes she wondered whether she had not better throw herself into good works of some sort visit and take up reform or become a devoted of the charity society she to various mrs and read hosts of new books she tried to fancy that strong sympathies for art music painting and delightfully harmonious house were enough to occupy her mind and heart sometimes she thought | 32 |
with envy of mr s enthusiasm for the cause sometimes with equal envy of mrs s contented enjoyment of her position and family traditions sometimes she envied her children or frank his newspaper work unfortunately elizabeth had no one distinct talent to which she could devote all her powers she was troubled with the which comes from sympathy with and understanding of art without the power of original production at last she began to regard herself as a sort of there seemed to be no special place for her no real necessity for her existence she grew depressed and morbid and sad all this mrs frank could not help noting it made her really rather uncomfortable and she did not quite know what to do resignation was not mrs frank s strong point if things seemed wrong she instantly wanted to set them right according to her own fashion the consequence was that she sometimes rushed in where angels being more patient and i suppose more sensible would have feared to tread so far s opportunities of exploring the new country had not been very fruitful said that there would be difficulties and her words were proving themselves true had to own himself that he hardly knew ch xiv a sketch in black and white more of elizabeth now after a good many meetings than he had known the first evening he saw her he fancied that she had been on her guard with him he had sung and played to her often but she had always remained perfectly composed our lady of sorrow with the misty gray eyes that gazed out into space had never appeared on the scene again knew that he had seen farther into the depths of elizabeth s nature on that first evening than he had ever seen since sometimes he thought he would not try to make nearer acquaintance with her he was a little afraid that she took up too much space in his mental horizon he was doubtful as to whether he was not too much interested in this study of character yet was so bitten with the idea of proving that it is possible for a man to make friends with a woman and so sure that elizabeth was just the woman to try this rather experiment with that he could not resist making one or two more attempts before he finally decided to give the matter up in despair one morning about this period when elizabeth was sitting in her pretty drawing room trying to read and had wanderer away from the subject of her book into rather sad meditations concerning her own she was interrupted by the advent of and both looking fresh and neat and self complacent come my dear elizabeth began mrs frank but she stopped elizabeth was not attending to her mrs part i come to me darling said elizabeth holding out her arms to the slim dainty little girl and then picking her up she kissed s round rosy cheeks all cool and sweet from the cold morning air elizabeth made a charming picture as she stood the child on one arm with her strong figure thrown slightly back there was a tender look in her gray eyes and a sadness in the curves of her beautiful lips which were in strong contrast to the merry laughing baby face close to her own stood watching her for a moment you would make a lovely elizabeth she said poor dear has a most suggestion of the nineteenth century about her in that costume but you are exquisitely elizabeth set the child down on the floor again with a sigh there she said run along and look on the little table in the corner between the and the window you ll find a new waiting for you with a pink hat then she turned rather wearily to mrs frank i beg your pardon she said what were you going to say oh she answered i merely came to you with a little message from mr i m going to tea with him the day after to morrow to see a sketch he has been doing for frank he is so anxious that you should come too will you i don t care said elizabeth slowly while she watched ch xiv a sketch in black and white the child was very busy examining the doll and apparently judging by the expression of her face was arriving at satisfactory conclusions respecting her new possession mrs frank opened her blue eyes rather wide at elizabeth s reply she stooped down and slowly rubbed a spot of mud off one of the of her dress that is rather an extraordinary form of answer to an invitation isn t it she observed mildly oh very well then said elizabeth say i shall be quite delighted to go it s not such a true answer as the other though but on the whole it s rather more civil said mrs frank is this for my very own interrupted in her shrill clear little voice yes replied elizabeth but you must come and pay me for it with a sweet kiss she knelt down on the floor as she spoke who regarded kisses as a necessary but as by no means the part of the of receiving gifts ran up administered a hasty salute then herself rapidly from elizabeth s arms turned to her mother look look mother she said at my s pink hat you re a hard hearted little being after all said elizabeth getting up from her knees i believe you care infinitely more for that foolish made of china and than you do for me i mrs part i i suppose we were all more or less selfish as children observed mrs frank a good many of us remain so when we have ceased to be children answered elizabeth rather harshly there was a hard | 32 |
line between her dark eyebrows and she stuck out her under lip just the least bit as she stood looking at the child and the doll if had known mr she would certainly have remarked a very strong family likeness between him and his niece at this moment selfishness is not a form of we invariably leave behind us in the nursery with our old play things when we grow up added elizabeth is anything particular the matter with you this morning asked mrs frank nothing at all i have said i am delighted to accept mr s invitation for the day after to morrow pray tell him so mrs frank gave her shoulders a little shrug you re very inscrutable she said however you will come then if it s fine we can walk down to by the i ll call for you about three come along and say good bye to kind aunt who gives you and all manner of lovely things good bye said elizabeth gently but she did not kiss the child again it must be allowed seemed indifferent to the and walked off with considerable dignity by her mother s side cheerfully to her new doll ch xiv a sketch in black and white the afternoon of s little tea party was clear and bright and the two ladies set out with a certain sense of enjoyment on their walk to elizabeth with her country breeding had been accustomed to take plenty of physical exercise lately she had been leading rather a and lazy life which had by no means improved either her health or spirits as she paced along by the river side this afternoon the keen wind and the thin frosty sunshine seemed to put new vigour into her she thought of the short winter days down in years ago not so very many years though after all when the ground being too hard for hunting she and mr and young edward had driven over to and till dusk of the wild cries of the frozen out water fowl and the clear ringing of the on the ice and the graceful motion of the and the sound of a sudden laugh or call in the still air while the sun a crimson ball sank down in the west and the gray country faded into the twilight and the near trees grew black and rigid against the flaming evening sky ah those sweet sad days that are no more poor elizabeth would gladly for the moment at least have missed out all of her life that lay between the present and that pleasant time would gladly have found herself over the gleaming ice hand in hand with her boy lover once again for pity s sake elizabeth don t walk so fast cried for instinctively mrs part i elizabeth had quickened her pace as she thought of and the like all city bred women walked not so much with the intention of getting to a certain place within a certain time as with the intention of seeing and being seen there is no such desperate necessity for saving five minutes she said and of all things in the world that which i most is arriving at anybody s house in a breathless condition with a face like a you ll be frozen if you said elizabeth shortly yes but surely there is some reasonable medium between doing that and walking for a answered the other elizabeth her pace she was quite roused from her reverie there was nothing dreamy or sentimental about and she had a curious power of compelling her companions to move in her own clear atmosphere s rooms were on the first floor of an old fashioned house looking out on to the river he had discovered them when he first settled in london and had now thoroughly taken root in them he liked to wander about but he also liked to collect all manner of odds and ends of all kinds and already his material possessions were so numerous that it was absolutely necessary for him to have some place to leave them in as far as he had a home this house in was his home he went away for months at a time but ch xiv a sketch in black and white always as a peaceful and comfortable background to his wanderings lay the long low old fashioned first floor rooms with their view across the wide river before ringing the bell when they arrived mrs frank paused and then turning to elizabeth said will you go in i ll join you in ten minutes ive just remembered some tiresome people that i ought to call upon close by here ive owed them a visit for months and this is such an excellent opportunity of paying it i shan t be long ril come too said elizabeth who did not care to present herself to their host alone oh no pray don t answered quickly and with rather unnecessary emphasis they re fearfully dull people you wouldn t like them a bit and there is no reason why you should know them pray don t come i shall be back directly to the matter she rang the bell nodding to elizabeth and saying au she turned quickly into the street again so elizabeth had nothing for it but to go upstairs alone feeling a good deal annoyed it would seem so odd she thought she did not the least care to be forced in this way into a d with mr the room she was ushered into was a large one with three windows looking towards the river it was low and was furnished enough yet with a certain disregard for modern of taste but for a soft dusky richness in the general effect mrs part l of it it might have been called rather confused and seemed to have taken pleasure in | 32 |
collecting the most strangely miscellaneous objects and compelling them to form an harmonious whole some of his friends hinted indeed that his rooms looked very much as if they belonged to the property man but he sternly refused to any peculiarities i live in my rooms not you he would say i enjoy and it is like life elizabeth on this occasion was too anxious to account for the fact of her appearing all alone to bestow much observation on her surroundings but before she had time to offer any explanation came forward to meet her with a look of genuine pleasure how very good of you to come he said cordially there was something so sincere in the sound of his greeting that elizabeth s sense of embarrassment quickly melted before it my sister in law will be here in a minute or two she said she deserted me on your remembering suddenly that she had a visit to pay close by she begged me to tell you that she would follow me directly smiled he felt a little indifferent as to the length of mrs frank s absence elizabeth looked very young and attractive after her quick walk in the frosty air there was an unusual colour in her cheeks and her gray eyes shone bright and dark under their long lashes ah said it is a long way for mrs ch xiv a sketch in black and white frank to come i am only too glad that she should make the expedition useful to herself as well as pleasant to me there was a moment s pause elizabeth did not quite know what to say next as her companion s last observation called for no you have been doing a sketch for frank she observed at last a little awkwardly may i see it oh it s rather horrible now that it s finished mrs he answered i thought it was going to be nice at first however there it is on the in the window if you really care to see it elizabeth moved across the room and stood looking at the picture it was a graceful misty drawing of little worked in had begun it one evening at the frank when the child tired with a game of play had lain half asleep on her mother s knee the subject caught his fancy and he had spent some time in working it out but it s lovely said elizabeth i m so glad you like it the young man answered he was standing near her and watching her intently as she bent forward to look closely at the drawing you draw as well as you play she said suddenly turning round to him you are very fortunate she spoke seriously not as his talents but rather he thought as bidding him give thanks for the possession of them mrs part i am i very fortunate he said smiling i am not quite sure i think so answered elizabeth you artists have troubles like the rest of us some i suppose that we more commonplace people cannot fully comprehend but you have the intense joy and relief of utterance ah she said i for one keep all my pity for the poor dumb souls who can only feel and cannot speak elizabeth remembered the thoughts which had so moved her as she walked along by the river she would have given a good deal to possess the power of speaking out the emotions they had caused her in some artistic form the disappointment is generally more present to my mind than the relief tm afraid said all one s work falls so short of what one wants to do still you have something to do something to work for she answered you have the satisfaction of knowing what you want even if you can t always reach it so many of us waste our lives utterly because we never know exactly what to aim at oh said shaking his head people are all so much too fond of doing nowadays why can t they leave the doing alone and just be isn t that enough they hurry and worry and scramble and quite forget what a much more dignified and graceful spectacle they would present to the universe if they were a trifle less busy and anxious elizabeth sat down thoughtfully on a chair in ch xiv a sketch in black and white front of the she paused a moment before speaking but surely one must have a distinct object in life she said must one asked i have never been able quite to see the necessity for it elizabeth looked up at him isn t it enough he said to enjoy to be pleasant and to please one s friends perhaps if you have friends she observed why you must have plenty of friends any way mrs said he brightly if you mean just the people whom i know yes i have plenty answered elizabeth she was too much absorbed in her own train of thought to observe that the conversation had assumed a new complexion and had drifted away from the general into the personal but she added i am afraid like most women i know very little about real friendship about the sort of friendship which really makes part of one s life i should like to have friends as men have them but i don t know how to begin elizabeth spoke quite simply thinking merely of her own feelings and not at all of her companion a very bright light came into s brown eyes and he bent forward towards her as he answered i fancy i know a good deal about what men call friendship the friendship which as you say makes a real part of one s life if you want to know about it i think i could teach you | 32 |
mrs part i suddenly the of her position struck elizabeth she had quarrelled with the narrow down at surely she was getting far enough away from now she turned her head and gazed out across the river running so swiftly and silently in the gathering darkness down to the sea the sky was very pale and clear above along the the long lines of gas lamps it looked cold and hard and cruel somehow out there in the dusk then she turned again and glanced round the warm luxurious room with its fanciful furniture and rich mellow colouring finally she looked up at the dark handsome face of the young man who stood waiting before her she gave a long shuddering sigh as of one waking from a troubled dream and then said gently i think i should be very glad if you would teach me there was an expression almost of triumph about that is kind of you he said simply then he added holding out his hand it is a compact mrs you must give me your hand on it elizabeth laid her hand in his for a moment rather unwillingly she wondered what she might be binding herself to did it really mean anything or was it merely a pretty bit of child s play mrs frank returning from her visit and coming into the room just at the conclusion of this little ceremony was conscious of receiving a certain very vivid impression she paused only for an in ch xiv a sketch in black and white of time in the doorway before turning round came forward to welcome her but in that instant her innocent blue eyes had pretty thoroughly taken in the situation elizabeth was sitting in front of the sideways on a shaped chair with her hands resting lightly clasped together on the back of it she had her thick fur trimmed mantle at the neck and it hung in heavy folds from her shoulders showing part of the body of her black dress and the white about her throat the hair on her forehead had been ruffled by the wind during her walk and curled up about the edge of her bonnet softening the hard line of it she was looking up with her lips parted as though about to speak the light from some candles in brass near the fireplace fell full upon her face s back was towards mrs frank she could not see how he was looking but his attitude seemed expressive she thought of more than mere polite of his fair companion oh said as her host came towards her my dear mr i owe you ten thousand apologies i had wanted to pay that visit for such ages i was sure you would forgive my being a little late and then to my utter distraction the wretched people were at home and can you tell why it is she added that the less power people have of entertaining you the longer they are determined that you shall stay with them thanks yes i will sit down how good of you to wait tea for me i have known thoroughly uninteresting people who insisted upon asking one to dinner at half past mrs part i six and requiring one to stay till heaven knows what time of night simply apparently because they had nothing on earth to say to one whereas delightful people whom you feel you would be happy to spend years with ask you at a quarter past eight and turn you out again at eleven now why is it i must think the question over before i venture to give an answer said smiling you at all events mrs may claim to belong to the delightful section of society since you are so late in arriving here to day laughed she felt in the most amiable humour while made tea she wandered about the room chattering all the time she the sketch of with which she declared herself absolutely enchanted and praised everything liberally the tea included how i wish you would do us a picture of elizabeth she said at last somebody really ought to do a picture of her she looked like the most delightful when she was nursing the other day the advantage of having a reputation for talking very much is that it gives you admirable opportunities of saying a host of things you want to say without giving them an appearance of undue mrs frank always managed to serve her own little purposes but she her important sentences so cleverly in the general flow of her conversation that they seemed at the time in no way particularly remarkable ch xiv a sketch in black and white it was only when elizabeth shook hands with him just as she was going away that referred to mrs frank s suggestion will you let me make a drawing of you he said is that one of your lessons in friendship asked elizabeth smiling because if so i suppose i am bound to say yes part chapter l a mere spectator of other men s fortunes and adventures and how they act their parts which are presented unto me as from a theatre or scene some people i fear may not complain of the commonplace characters and trivial incidents which they are invited to contemplate in this little tale and which are hardly worth the ink and paper let alone the time that has been wasted upon them but i would protest with all humility and sincerity that i do not lay claim to the title of poet or artist still less to that of or preacher those who want illumination and instruction must seek it elsewhere and surely in the present day it is easy enough to get an immense amount of information concerning all subjects at a very small cost | 32 |
sometimes indeed one is a little tempted to wonder whether the teachers do not the scholars since most persons whom one meets with are so willing to all dark sayings and reveal all mysteries i have no claim to belong to the and jo mrs part it improving class and would merely ask the gentle reader if in these enlightened days that kind and sympathetic being still exists to picture some lazy arrayed in a torn cloak and tattered and a cap which once had bells to it their was so sadly out of tune with the war march of modern progress that he pulled them all off long ago sitting among the dusty grass and wild flowers by the of life and telling simple stories to the by not telling them to the wise and prudent and successful who would certainly call him a sturdy beggar a mere of the ground and bid him either set about some useful business or proceed to improve himself off the face of the earth with all possible despatch but telling them to quiet ordinary folk who are not very wise or very successful who are a little confused with the turmoil and the strife of tongues and a little weary and with the journey begging them to rest awhile with him by the roadside and listen to simple tales of friendship and of sorrow of laughter and of lovers kisses begging them to judge gently all the barren groping uncertain lives around them and to smile if they will but smile very tenderly at the strange comedy of every day he has neither advice to give nor solution to offer the poor fool in his ragged is hardly likely to have discovered the for this world s troubles when the great and learned and courageous have failed so to do so but he to one or two fantastic hopes that have lingered ch i a sketch in black and white with us through many ages and does not despair as he watches from amongst the dusty grass and flowers the anxious eager multitudes each other along the great which stretches across the of this life between the two it is always an task to try to show any side of truth and the truth concerning themselves has usually been singularly to members of the human family only the fool would attempt to present it his acknowledged want of wits may save him from the angry with which men are wont to visit the of those who try to tell them what they really are under the shelter of the cap and bells alone can one venture to say that absolute black and white hero and villain are hardly ever to be met with and that heaven and hell certainly belong to quite another state of being than to this present one that original sin is pretty distributed among us all that even the saint may be caught wearing strangely dirty old clothes while the sinner is found arrayed now and then in a garment of genuine that while man is very little higher than the beasts he is also very little lower than the angels in treating poor elizabeth s character from this and unsatisfactory point of view i know that i run the risk of losing her many friends and admirers yet in truth she was very far from being an ideal woman she could neither satisfy those excellent persons who have a p io mrs part il mental longing after what has been called the constant nor could she please the more light minded class who are disposed to recommend plenty of eating and drinking to day since the time for all such enjoyment may be passed and over by to morrow she was of good and evil nobility and of fine aspirations and commonplace selfishness she was capable of against her higher instincts and then of her error all too late like many another young creature she loved life and would fain have seen good days and perhaps consequently she had but a misty and indistinct perception of the infinite value of a humble spirit and a broken and heart nearly a year had passed away since elizabeth had made her compact with in the furnished down by the river she had spent the early summer in london and then had gone abroad with the frank of course being of the party and had studied the art of friendship on the wild sea shore and among the bare windy of her connection with had been to letters she had offered to go to the it is true but unfortunately she happened to propose herself just at the time when mr and mrs were about to make their yearly visit to and it was too much to expect their dignified and stately plans to be set aside for elizabeth whose appreciation of and of its owners society her aunt at least regarded as so ch i a sketch in black and white distinctly limited mr had paid her one or two visits in london which were chiefly remarkable for their extreme the it must be confessed did not find himself in very active sympathy with his niece s present surroundings face downwards in the narrow writing table drawer still lay the sketch of robert elizabeth had never moved it from its resting place since the day when she had decided to forget the past and to try and find fresh joy and hope in the future in some it is possible to patch a rent for a time but eventually the stuff gives and gives and as we know the new piece only makes the hole in the old garment worse in the end elizabeth s determination not to grieve for her husband s death had in a way kept her | 32 |
attention fixed on the fact of his death she had to patch the cruel rent that had been made in her happiness but as time went on the threads began to strain and give out and the sense of the magnitude of her misfortune grew greater instead of at moments by the sea shore or on summer evenings when poured out his whole soul in music and in song or as she watched frank and playing with their two children the sense of her own loss and loneliness would almost elizabeth she dreaded these feelings of sorrow she fought against them and was glad when the trivial interests of every day claimed her whole thought and attention to her companions she seemed to be drifting farther and ia mrs part ii farther away from the past she appeared gay and cheerful and yet there was an and a certain necessity for excitement about her which puzzled a little sometimes she wondered whether elizabeth was not developing feelings which could not strictly be described as for but i think elizabeth may be quite from any charge of this kind she was almost painfully conscious that if it were possible for her to meet robert now for the first time she might love him in a very different fashion to that in which she had loved him when they met nearly three years before as her experience of life and her knowledge of men and women increased she appreciated more and more the true worth of her husband s character she too how cruelly he must have suffered in bidding good bye to life and love in the very prime of his manhood elizabeth became aware that it might not be impossible for her to worship all too late the memory of the man whom she had loved very while he lived that fashion of the and subsequently in a fit of bitter remorse building them magnificent did not die out with the old but is practised pretty freely by husbands and wives parents and children relations and friends even to the present day if had been asked to give a on friendship about this period he would have pronounced it a very interesting but ch i a sketch in black and white slightly form of entertainment he had seen a great deal of elizabeth he knew her remarkably well yet carrying out his old of the country he told himself that though the hills and valleys and lakes and streams were very delightful there was still an unknown region far inland into which he had never yet succeeded in penetrating he was haunted by the same notion as namely that some day elizabeth would develop suddenly in an for direction and surprise him very greatly there was something rather fascinating in this idea it made her all the more interesting to him yet it troubled him too hated surprises he had tried to imagine all sorts of of circumstances which might produce this sudden development in elizabeth so that he might be prepared for it when it came but he could not see his way at all clearly yet he told himself however that women certainly were very interesting and he began to neglect his other friends a little men are comparatively easy to understand they are nice comfortable creatures but make by no means such suggestive and exciting companions as a handsome brilliant gray eyed young lady at the beginning of the winter season that burning and shining light of the dramatic profession came out in a new piece his friends made a strong rally round him filled innumerable and applauded even his faintest efforts with a vigour and enthusiasm which it is to be feared were slightly incomprehensible to the mrs part il rest of the house be that as it may on the following day a sunday mr being anxious to thank his loyal and talk over the position with them generally held a sort of in his rooms in the afternoon at which the members of the modern society of friends as mrs frank called them in great numbers frank of course was there as the sub editor and dramatic critic of a well known paper he was naturally very precious in the young actor s sight went too not so much because he desired particularly to add his voice to the chorus of praise as because he had nothing particular to do and thought he should enjoy a walk across the park with frank he was rather silent and he had been working away at friendship for a long time now and he found it more and bewildering than ever he began to think a man wanted a very steady head who meant to go in for much of that sort of thing it was not till he and frank were walking home under the bare black trees in the growing darkness while the air was full of the sound of church bells that strange sound in which sorrow so hard on the heels of joy calling faithful souls to their evening prayers that seemed with a certain effort to shake off his and that he began to talk again fm rather dissatisfied with myself frank he remarked suddenly it is a new sensation i suppose it s a sign that i am growing old ch i a sketch in black and white frank was running over some sentences in his mind in which he was trying to the rival claims of friendship and truth in a on s performance of the night before he answered at random not thinking what he was saying oh you add dissatisfaction to all the other of old age then do you i don t add it answered quickly heaven preserve me from adding one straw to a burden which i shall have to bear myself | 32 |
some day it will be quite heavy enough any way without my private but it is obvious he added that old people must be dissatisfied with themselves if they have any powers of reflection left they must be pretty keenly sensible of the immense number of mistakes they have succeeded in making in the course of their lives frank drew his hand down over his fair pointed beard really he could not honestly praise s performance very much fortunately there was the acknowledged excellence of the young man s figure to fall back upon but it is rather difficult to fill half a column with a on a man s figure the public might object to it and not without reason frank felt meanwhile common civility demanded that he should make some comment on s upon the distressing position of aged and are you painfully sensible of mistakes then just now he asked i mrs part ii i believe i am rather worried answered the other this was such an entirely surprising announcement as coming from of all people in the world that frank was roused effectually from his meditations upon mr he looked round sharply at his companion but in the dusk it was difficult to catch the expression of his face youve a little out of sorts my dear fellow said frank you have taken to never going out anywhere half the men at s this afternoon were complaining that they never see you now it s a horrible thing said half laughing and half in earnest i am getting a little bored i am beginning to feel oh you are only answered the other you want more society perhaps i do said uneasily i seem to be changing somehow i don t know quite what is coming over me i used to look on at life so i used to feel i suppose all the talk at s this afternoon has put the idea into my head as if i had got a very good private box at the general show i just sat still and watched the play i wasn t indeed sometimes i was inclined to quite vigorously and the tragic scenes upset me dreadfully but i had a comfortable feeling that as i had not written the piece i was in no way in the course of it now i begin to wonder ch i a sketch in black and white whether i have not been rather cold blooded and whether i have not made a mistake in not being more human marry observed frank smiling it is the best cure for your state of mind a wife is pretty sure to make you sufficiently human stopped and said almost why do you say that it is tiresome it is dreadfully wanting in originality frank was silent he did not understand his friend s sudden outburst of he had spoken quite innocently and without any real desire that his advice should be taken if he had been asked indeed frank would certainly have given it as his opinion that would probably never marry that it would be a pity if he should do so as it would rob him of half his present charm they walked on in silence for a little while under the bare trees if people were cross frank thought it was always safest to let them alone bad temper is like a cold in the head it is much best to let it have its course instead of rushing in with and and other which generally end by merely adding one or two new to the original one frank did not himself but into his difficult piece of criticism again and i m not at all sure that i am so very anxious to be cured of my present state of mind after all said after a pause any way i am not the least inclined to take the desperate measure you propose the cure would be consider i mrs part ii more than the disease it seems to me i am only angry with myself for feeling these things at all frank had just got hold of an admirable sentence then don t feel them my dear fellow he said i couldn t give up my attitude of spectator altogether you know went on he seemed to attach very much more importance to frank s random suggestion than it at all deserved women are so differently constituted to us that it is a thousand to one if i should find any woman a really charming one you know who would be willing just to sit still and observe with me she would get excited some day and want to go down on to the stage into the thick of it all he paused and then added lightly i am very philosophic personally i am not at all impulsive but if she went down i am dreadfully afraid i should not have sufficient strength of mind to let her go alone probably not answered frank smiling and that would be intolerable said it would upset all my system it would be the greatest mistake of all no he added as they passed out of the comparative quiet of the park into the noise and movement of marriage is out of the question from my point of view ch n a sketch in black and white chapter ii when all tlie world is old lad and all the trees are brown and all the sport is stale lad and all the wheels run down creep home and take your place there the spent and among god grant you find one face there you loved when all was young one dull late winter afternoon mr was riding slowly home towards there had been a frost the night before which had given in the morning leaving the roads deep in greasy yellow clay mud long lines | 32 |
of half melted snow lay under the hedges on the side away from the sun the hedges themselves were a hard black in the gathering dusk the broad pasture lands looked brown and sad in the uncertain light and the spaces of turf on either side the road were coarse and from the wet which stood in little dirty pools every here and there a bleak wind cried shrill through the bare and the scattered elm trees promising more snow it was a chilly dreary evening on which even a healthy man might well be affected mrs part ii by the outward aspects of nature might be full of gloomy fancies and take views of human nature and of things in general mr had had a trying day and was a little disposed to think that everything was going to the bad he was chilled and somewhat tired but wishing to spare his horse he along slowly up the muddy road under the broad sweep of lowering gray sky his head was sunk into the collar of his coat which he had pulled up to keep off some of the cold south wind his shoulders were up to his ears he held the bridle with stiff fingers both he and his big chestnut hunter were and with from head to foot he had ridden a good way to the meet in the morning which had been bright enough with pale winter sunshine had seen friends and had a cheery time till about one o clock then his horse cast a shoe and he had wasted some time seeking a blacksmith to put on another when he came up with the hounds again they were running and he had about a quarter of an hour s gallop they lost their fox and moved off to draw a distant covert drew it blank and about half past three with a gathering away down in the mr found himself with a good fourteen miles to ride home alone he was disgusted too with several little social incidents in the day s work not even fox hunting seemed to him quite a safe sport for an english gentleman in these times when the sons of who had made all their money in ch ii a sketch in black and white candles or stockings or soap rode better horses than he could afford to ride and treated him as an equal instead of a superior hardly treated him as an equal indeed but rather as an and behind the world sort of old gentleman who was by no means up to the level of the of the present day he was specially against a certain young man of boisterous manners and of a somewhat appearance nearly related it was said to some well known london who had lately settled in the neighbourhood kept a lot of horses and hunted four or five days a week the young man in question happened to be particularly and interfering by nature but mr when annoyed did not always take the trouble to distinguish carefully between the sins of the individual and those of the class to which he belonged he kindly the race of in general with the of this young man in particular and condemned them all while the worst of it was that mr could not deny that the fellow really rode hard and had plenty of pluck there s nothing left he grumbled that a gentleman can do without finding himself rubbing shoulders with half the in the country what with a radical parliament and a radical press the poor old country s going to the dogs as fast as it can fortunately my time won t be very long i shall be safe in the churchyard before the worst of it comes please god but it s a bad look out ahead very bad mrs part n it struck mr that his own life looking back on it was very like the history of that day a cheery start in the morning sunshine a capital horse under him hope for the coming hours plenty of friends a splendid burst for a few minutes over the grass when the pace was hot and his blood with healthy excitement then about the dreary in the chill mist ing and drawing for the fox that could never be found and at last the long lonely ride home in the cold and the growing darkness the day dying the sport all over only the weariness and want of success left dirty tired old that was what it all came to in the end alas for the pity of it mr stuck out his under lip and set his teeth hard bent his head a little lower to avoid the bitter wind and trotted on slowly and up the muddy road with its wet strip of turf on either hand and bare black hedges the hall at the with a glowing fire of great logs upon the hearth waiting with dignified solicitude to attend upon his master and mrs with her cap pretty little face and tender wistful manner coming forward in the ruddy light to welcome her beloved lord all these things were in most agreeable contrast to the sad cold gray night outside i am too dirty to come near you my dear said mr looking kindly at his wife til go into the study for ten minutes and get a good warm and then tu have a hot bath in my dress ch ii a sketch in black and white ing room before dinner had a wretched day he added as he followed mrs into the study the grass is as heavy as the plough and there seem to be no in the country only had about ten minutes gallop the whole day found a fox in michael s just the other side of the at ran | 32 |
had taken place more than a year before and it was slightly difficult to recall them accurately he called here once i think it was only once when you were away in july and we met him again at the afterwards there he talked a good deal to elizabeth oh well said the who found this piece of information decidedly that does not amount to very much you contradicted it all to mrs i suppose yes i spoke very strongly answered mrs but you see for a long while i have not had elizabeth s full confidence the was always disposed to advance pretty rapidly to the defence of his niece he could hardly believe that she would lend herself in any way to help work out an evil destiny for him if i know anything of elizabeth he said quickly she would soon let mr know he was making a considerable mistake if he spoke to her on this subject i cannot pretend to say what elizabeth might do answered mrs rather stiffly she was now and then somewhat jealous of her husband s mrs n confidence in his niece i only know that this report is most to me well said the influenced by three considerations first by the of fighting against his fate however unpleasant that fate might be secondly by the sense that he and his wife were to tread on rather dangerous ground and by a growing desire for his hot bath well it is a nuisance but i people will forget the whole thing in a few days i mrs made the most of it there i really am so stiff i must go don t vex yourself about it any more i ll think it over and we ll talk about it some other time oh by the way he added turning back for a moment just as he was going out of the study door can t we have dinner a quarter of an hour sooner ca iii a sketch in black and white chapter iii dispose de la la justice et le qui est le du mrs frank was not naturally of a patient disposition and when the progress of events was not altogether as rapid as she desired she had a strong inclination to help it forward with a private she thoroughly enjoyed the exercise of personal power which she was sensible of in thus hurrying conclusions and having an ingenious mind she generally found convincing arguments for proving that her interference was both necessary and legitimate it is a great temptation to women of a certain temperament to play freely with the souls of their acquaintances and to try to force the hand of destiny concerning them by carefully the tricks they lose and rather counting up those they take these good ladies contrive generally to create both in their own minds and in the minds of the an impression of continuous and remarkable success in the playing of their rather dangerous game mrs frank had watched the course of elizabeth and s friendship with sincere s mrs part ii interest it had supplied a certain element of refined excitement in her daily life which she keenly she had continually been aware of the situation she it would develop but though seemed to be growing somewhat and though elizabeth at times was restless and us mrs frank had candidly to confess that the situation did not develop she beg n to get a little impatient it seemed to her they must have drunk the cup of friendship pretty well to the and she was convinced that in the case of a friendship between a man and a woman love is at the bottom of the cup just as surely as truth is at the bottom of the well mrs frank wanted something to happen she really quite yawned for a change of scene no sooner had she fairly acknowledged her own sense of in face of the present state of things than the most excellent reasons for doing her best to alter that state of things began to crowd in upon her for some time past she had been conscious that elizabeth s intimacy with had provoked a good deal of comment people observed rather curiously upon the fact that whenever they called upon elizabeth that young mr was sure to be there one or two people had asked mrs frank point blank whether there was anything in it and when she answered in a vague and airy manner had put up their eyebrows with an appearance of slight surprise one excellent and well old lady who affected propriety as decidedly as she scandal had intimated ch iii a sketch in black and white so that she considered the connection a peculiar one that mrs frank felt a growing conviction regarding the absolute duty of prompt interference had decided long ago that elizabeth must marry again she had gone further and decided that she must marry she thought they would suit admirably and be very happy together elizabeth s superfluous would be nicely by s philosophic calm while he would be stimulated to greater earnestness of purpose by his wife s strong and ardent sympathies it was a charming arrangement undoubtedly and there was just that of malice about the conception of it which made it specially attractive to s mind she could not forgive s apparent indifference to love and marriage his perfect from all those daily cares and which seem to be the necessary result of the close relationship of two imperfect human creatures she felt it would be wonderfully refreshing to reduce him to the ordinary level to see him chained to the oar like the rest of us to hear him crying out that the shoe pinched now and then to watch him mildly about with wings instead of flying gaily hither and thither as fancy fired she | 32 |
conversation was thoroughly distasteful to him he felt a little irritated with his charming wife and yet in he had to admit that there might be a good deal of truth in what she said added a few to her pattern on the table cloth she wanted her last remarks to have time to sink well down into her husband s mind do you want to marry her then asked frank rather sharply at last he did not look somehow as if he the idea at all mrs pa t n oh i don t know she answered with a delicate shrug of her shoulders it wouldn t be much use wanting mr to marry anybody you know he likes to drift he hates taking steps proposing to elizabeth would be taking a great step i fancy but still his being there so much is it leads to all sorts of it really is rather for elizabeth you know said the last few words with a delightful little air of sorrowful conviction this was very unpleasant frank thought if it really was true had been a great deal at elizabeth s lately he knew therefore he was afraid it might be true frank disliked unpleasant things immensely he always tried to avoid any lengthened discussion of them he got up hastily knocking the long ash of his oft on to the carpet this caused an instant of acute misery but she her domestic sensations with heroic fortitude the carpet must be sacrificed she felt to the situation if it s really some one ought to tell him so frank said do you mean that really frank asked his wife getting up too and letting the handle of her knife fall with a gentle upon the oh i don t know he answered for goodness sake let the subject alone and we ll go upstairs was absolutely delightful during the rest of the evening her husband imagined she ch iii a sketch in black and white was prettily for having introduced disagreeable subjects of conversation after dinner and thought it very nice that she should have such a tender conscience where his comfort was concerned one really has a great respect for the serpent sometimes he must have been wonderfully subtle to have eve or else the first woman must have been curiously less acute than her daughters of the last few centuries frank was beautifully innocent of his wife s intentions and was radiant for she saw a clear path before her fortune is said to favour the brave fortune certainly in this case favoured mrs frank in the usual course of events she did not often find herself alone with mr but it so happened that within a week after the above conversation she had an excellent opportunity for just that little to the forward movement of events that she had so earnestly she called one afternoon at her sister in law s wishing to make some arrangement regarding the entertaining of one or two friends in answer to her inquiries announced that elizabeth was not at home she would not be in for half an hour or so but added mr who was also anxious to see her mistress was awaiting her return upstairs here then was s opportunity all the circumstances perfectly arranged the path smoothed for her and supposing elizabeth did not return sooner than she was expected to the most admirable occasion for mrs part il her to express her fears to of course was glad and yet she could not disguise from herself that she felt a little nervous however after a moment s she concluded that she could never respect herself again if she gave way to vague and retired from the performance of this her obvious duty she too would wait for elizabeth s return i know my way you need not trouble to come up with me she said graciously to then she walked quietly upstairs and went into the drawing room was the time during which he waited for his fair hostess by playing the piano had been placed in the back and was in a position which even had he been less absorbed in his present occupation would have prevented his seeing mrs frank as she came into the room she on her part wanted a few minutes for quiet reflection she wanted to arrange the manner of her attack she felt that some people might think her just a trifle mean for taking advantage of s musical enthusiasm in this way but the end surely might very well justify the means she settled herself in a comfortable corner and waited patiently for the music to cease before she should speak the between the two rooms was partly drawn aside and by leaning a little forward mrs frank could just see as he sat at the piano as we have already noted s nature always seemed to grow deeper and more earnest ch iii a sketch in black and white when he was playing on this occasion owing perhaps to certain new feelings which were beginning to stir within him perhaps only to the fact that he believed himself to be alone and unobserved he seemed to be speaking the very depths of his being out in the music fortunately s nature was not easily influenced by of feeling otherwise she might easily have forgotten her purpose while listening to s stormy playing and have lost herself on an ocean of fancy and of wild desire for some fair and unknown good had a small head but she contrived never to lose it consequently she just sat still and her little plans with a fine indifference to her surroundings suddenly left off abruptly in the middle of a passage and after playing a few softly fell to humming the melancholy song that had so elizabeth the first time she heard it he sang the words of the last | 32 |
verse out loud with a certain quiet suggestion of regret and sorrow that almost startled mrs frank she had not a very delicate sense of honour but there was a touch of self revelation in s singing which seemed to her clearly not intended for ears it made her uncomfortable she did not like to listen any longer also she began to be afraid that elizabeth might come back and that her opportunity would be lost she managed to get up with a great rustling of skirts half her chair and save it hastily from actually falling with a rapid mrs part ii movement and sharp little exclamation which effectually attracted s attention he turned round quickly expecting to see elizabeth and his face did not take an altogether agreeable expression when he perceived who it was that had interrupted him ah my dear mr forgive me cried mrs frank coming towards him with an outstretched hand and one of her peculiarly brilliant smiles i am so accustomed to running in and out of this house without any parade of servants announcing me that i came in quietly just now and fm afraid i have taken you by surprise i really could not interrupt you at first you were playing so that tiresome chair nearly fell over ah she added advancing towards the piano what lovely flowers on the top of the piano lay a great bunch of white roses and lilies of the valley mrs frank put out her hand picked up the and almost buried her pretty face among the blossoms ah how perfectly delicious they are she said are they destined for my fortunate law mrs is very fond of white flowers said rather he had an uncomfortable sense of being taken at a disadvantage somehow he had been feeling a little excited and just because he so very seldom felt really excited he had a difficulty in his usual calm manner getting bis social ch iii a sketch in black and white on again and meeting mrs frank with weapons as sharp and yet as dainty as her own in the of ordinary conversation he had an absurd that something unpleasant was impending and that he would not find himself equal to the occasion oh they are perfectly delicious said mrs frank smelling the flowers again have you any idea mr when elizabeth will be in she will be in in time for tea i suppose answered he was rather offended with mrs frank and there was something uncomfortable to his thinking in the way she seemed to take for granted that he knew all about elizabeth s movements that won t be just yet said mrs frank then she added looking up at him with an air of admirable i am very glad we have met here mr for i really wanted to see you very much did not feel inclined to make a pretty speech so he merely bowed his of her complimentary desires a silent bow from a person one knows very well is hardly an encouraging thing but mrs frank was apparently by no means abashed it may sound very strange she continued but i wanted to say something to you about my sister in law it may seem unusual but then you know her so very well i think you will understand my motives was standing near the piano with his r mrs part il back to the window mrs frank was opposite to him with the light falling full upon her somehow he the expression of her innocent little face and he disliked her taking possession of his offering of white flowers and holding them so in her hand while she talked to him had a fanciful feeling upon him that she would keep those flowers and that he should never g ve them to elizabeth after all there was a pause began arranging her bonnet strings with one hand this occasioned her to turn her head a little on one side so that she no longer looked her companion full in the face my sister in law s position is such a peculiar one she went on after a minute or two she is so young and so unusually handsome and of course people observe her a good deal and talk about her people will say odious unpleasant things about every one and of course she doesn t escape i really do wish sometimes mr you know that elizabeth would be just a little more careful and conventional had not the smallest desire to discuss elizabeth thus mrs is perfectly capable of taking care of her own reputation i should imagine he said stiffly ah no there you re mistaken answered mrs frank quickly and there was something so entirely straightforward and genuine in her manner as she spoke that felt considerably to ch iii a sketch in black and white wards her it is stupid cold hearted creatures like me who are perfectly capable of taking care of their own elizabeth really is too simple and honest and noble hearted to think what people will say about her when she does this or that she is too innocent and the consequence is that she lands herself in all manner of she has ideas you know about life and ideas are always fatal the world seems to me added mrs frank giving a final little pat to her bonnet strings and looking straight in front of her the world seems to me to be divided into clever people with ideas and stupid people without them and the latter have to spend three parts of their time in fishing the former out of their difficulties i need not say i belong to the stupid section and she looked up at suddenly i am absolutely on thorns about my sister in law just now really indeed said coldly why mrs frank stepped aside into the shadow | 32 |
of the heavy window curtains she was going to play her highest card and it made her feel a little nervous she was afraid of appearing too much interested or excited she felt sure was watching her carefully she knew that with some men what she was about to say would have exactly the contrary effect to that which she desired to produce but she trusted to an almost strain of honour which she had observed once or twice in he would rather do anything than lose the least or of his self respect mrs part ii i will tell you why she said smelling the flowers again and i shall have to say something extremely disagreeable i shall offend your taste horribly i really doubt whether you will ever forgive me but i must consider elizabeth you know she paused it really was an odious thing to say she wondered what would do she wondered what frank would think fortunately he would only hear her version of the story would be very certain not to mention it in point of fact then you come here too often mr she said there are moments when it is quite impossible to maintain an appearance of philosophic calm was pretty well master of himself on most occasions but just now he could not manage to conceal his feelings he blushed violently and that added most materially to his sense of anger and wretchedness mrs frank did not give him time to speak yes she said quickly looking at him with an air of becoming distraction and stretching out her hands flowers and all with a appealing gesture it is a horrible thing to say to you you can never forgive me i have outraged your taste i know and entirely disgusted you but then people will talk and there is nobody to tell you but me speaking is forced upon me i really cannot help myself this is extremely painful said i ch iii a sketch in black and white am more than sorry that i should have caused you any annoyance or in any way really it is too unpleasant he added angrily turning away pray pray remember cried mrs frank hastily coming a step nearer to him and speaking pray remember that elizabeth knows nothing of all this is absolutely ignorant of it she positively knows nothing of it stood looking down perhaps he had never felt so thoroughly uncomfortable in all his life before he had been trying delicate and philosophic experiments as he supposed and the world at large was him all the while of an ordinary stupid bit of the position seemed to him vulgar he felt enraged with himself enraged with enraged with the whole universe he had got entangled yes that was what people were saying with mrs he could fancy the way this and that and the other person talked him over and laughed as they each added their little of gossip to the heap and he had always kept himself so free of this sort of thing oh it really was too odious heavens and earth what a fool he had been and what a commonplace scrape he had got himself into just then elizabeth came in from her walk mrs frank and heard her shut the front door and come lightly and quickly up the stairs they stood together in the shady back drawing room with its soft dusky colours and quaint furniture feeling like two suddenly discovered mrs il chapter iv looking up i saw it was a hung in a little cage i can t get out i can t get out said the elizabeth certainly looked very handsome as she came into the room she still wore nothing but black but within the last few months she had taken to dressing in a rather superb manner this afternoon she had been paying some visits and was arrayed in a gown of some rich material loaded with jet which glanced and glittered as she moved her mantle fitting tightly over the shoulders and showing the lines of the bust matched her gown and was bordered with deep soft black fur she had on a little french bonnet tying with broad strings under the chin the extreme of which had thrown into a small ecstasy of envy and admiration the first time she saw it perhaps elizabeth s style of dress was more suitable to a woman of forty than to a girl of barely four and twenty but it had the effect of making her look younger and not older than her real age mrs frank had a gift for receiving rapid ch iv a sketch in black and white she glanced up at her sister in law as she entered the room and said to herself certainly elizabeth is wonderfully distinguished looking glanced up at her too he was sensible of a sharp feeling of longing and regret he was not at all under the impression that he was what is called in love with elizabeth he was utterly uncertain about the future but he knew that their pleasant friendship was at an end any way mrs frank had just given it its nothing absolutely nothing could put things back on their old easy footing again had nothing to say he stood silent feeling wretched was the first to regain her presence of mind and moved forward to meet her sister in law with a rather brilliant smile elizabeth quite unconscious of all the plots against her peace took mrs frank s hand and then turning to said cordially how nice of you both to wait for me what delicious flowers where did you get them oh youve been playing she added turning again to have you brought that thing of s you promised me come into the other | 32 |
he could no longer neglect he must hope that something would turn up the rooms overlooking the river presented a very inviting appearance after the chilly desolate country shivering in the cool embraces of early spring s spirits rose something certainly he thought would turn up to help him out of his difficulties meanwhile events had been taking place in london which had considerably changed the aspect of elizabeth s affairs mrs past n chapter v comment les there comes a moment in the history of the life of each of the saints when satan baffled at all other points makes one last and desperate assault upon the soul through the medium of the senses st could not escape from this trial in the burning solitude of the egyptian desert nor st francis amid the purity of the nor st in his cave among the cruel rocks and nor could poor mr escape it either though he had a complexion and black beard and though he lived in this enlightened nineteenth century when as we know the sea of faith is no longer at the full and we only listen some sadly and some gladly to its melancholy long withdrawing roar retreating down the vast edges and naked of the world without asserting that mr at this or any other stage of his career deserved the honours of we must allow that having taken no small pains to form himself upon the models he had a perfect right to suffer all the ch v a sketch in black and white temptations it may be added that the natural man dies very hard in each one of us perhaps fortunately for if it had not always been so if the said natural man had not always been blessed with a considerable amount of vitality there is no saying in how many more wonderful the human race might not have already indulged or how much farther away we might not have wandered by this time from our great mother nature and from the simple foundations of our humanity during the year and more that had passed since elizabeth left mr had by no means ceased to think of the stately young lady with whom from many points of view a nearer connection appeared so desirable mr s mind was of a very order when he had once conceived an idea it was pretty sure eventually to influence his action in some direct and practical way his was not a poetical mind in which a thousand and one charming and moving possibilities can float and float like soft white clouds in a summer sky producing delicious effects of light and shade but never themselves upon the sleepy land below in the positive and often inconvenient form of rain among the and of his parish work during the constant struggle to communicate to his somewhat brother clergy a touch of his own enthusiasm mr was often visited by thoughts of elizabeth his state of mind may be regarded from two points of view during this period of this fact he was i mrs part il quite sensible himself and for some cause it troubled him the social and material advantages which a marriage with elizabeth offered him seemed to sink more and more out of sight while the attractive power of her beauty and charm of her manner stronger and stronger memory played strange tricks upon mr little delicate flowers began to blossom in the rather neglected and arid region of his heart he knew this and it irritated him should he say that he was being tempted to fall away from the g eat work that he had proposed to himself was he indeed disposed to desert the cause for love of one of the fair daughters of men or was he merely turning the more gentle and human side of his character long hidden under hard of and social theory towards the gracious sunlight mr could not tell but he knew that for some strange reason he would feel happier if he could be certain that he contemplated marriage in cold blood if he could be sure that he wished to marry for the sake of the cause rather than for the sake of the woman he was a really devout man he believed that all his life was ordered for him he depended very much on the leading of circumstances not perceiving that circumstances in the case of a strong nature have a curious tendency to lead in the direction in which that nature desires to go mr determined to wait to give the matter time he did not say as said later in a somewhat position that something would turn ch v a sketch in black and white up he held that if it was to be the way would be made clear by a higher power so month after month had passed by till at last quite unexpectedly mr was offered a large parish in the active crowded district which lies in the north of two years before he would have clutched at the offer simply because it promised to his sphere of action to put him into a prominent position and give him an opportunity of the working capacity of many of those theories which he so cherished now another thought influenced him he had waited patiently this might be the looked for leading of circumstance he would have more to offer elizabeth her money and position would be more than ever desirable for him and the prospect of wide influence and of to a great practical good might be somewhat of a bait with which to tempt her alas alas mr s eye was no longer single he clung to the idea of a leading and yet he felt bitter against himself was it possible that like the church of he had left his first | 32 |
fair daughter of the mr s forehead itself up into very hard lines and his tall black figure looked singularly out of place amid the dim richness of elizabeth s drawing room he stood lost in a rather unpleasant reverie when the soft dragging sound of a woman s dress on the carpet caused him suddenly to look round elizabeth had come in through the other room and was standing with one arm raised pushing aside the heavy mrs part il she was dressed in a long gown of black the material was soft and hung in graceful folds as she stretched her hand up to draw back the curtain she wore some handsome old lace at her throat and wrists of that delightfully harmonious shade of colour which persons are wont to say is the objectionable result of a want of good honest soap and water there are people though who in their adoration of cleanliness would wash the bloom off a before eating it i believe elizabeth s brown hair was knotted low down at the back of her head and curled a little about her forehead a certain pretty tenderness to her face her appearance the feelings with which mr was already troubled she was certainly very beautiful he enjoyed and yet almost regretted it all this though long in the telling of it occupied really but a few seconds of time elizabeth greeted her guest very graciously while he on his part presented rather a disturbed and harassed countenance to her gaze i did not know you were in london mr she said smiling as she held out her hand to him i have come up on business he answered my stay is not likely to be a protracted one then it is all the more kind of you to take the trouble of coming to see me said elizabeth mr looked at her rather anxiously it struck elizabeth that there was an odd intensity and suggestion of suppressed excitement about his face ch v a sketch in black and white and manner it was a little uncomfortable but probably it meant nothing she had not seen him for a long time and meanwhile she had been living among people who were quite the reverse of intense mr s visit was a matter of very secondary importance to elizabeth her thoughts were much more occupied with the fact that she had made a disagreeable discovery regarding her banker s book and that nothing had been heard or seen of since the day on which he had so abruptly left her won t you sit down she said settling herself as she spoke in a low chair by the fireplace i would rather stand thank you answered mr with unnecessary precision elizabeth felt a little bit bored she back lazily in her chair resting her elbows on the two arms of it and holding up one hand to shield her face from the warmth of the fire mr could not help observing the fine pose of her figure and the graceful turn of her head as it rested against the dull blue chair cover he did not want to remark these things but they were too strong for him and he could not help it i suppose everything is going on much as usual at said elizabeth feeling that she must find some subject of conversation i believe so answered mr shortly why are you not just come from there she asked mr saw light he wanted to talk about his prospects and his work he fancied it would restore his mrs part ii no he said i have left mrs i have a much larger and more interesting parish now i was not sorry to leave i never had enough to do there ah no said elizabeth i remember your telling me that where are you living now i have got a parish in the north of the county he answered a district is deeply interesting i have an extended sphere of work and i trust of usefulness the people i think will be far more intelligent and than in a purely agricultural district personally added mr drawing himself up and looking more composed and consequently more pleasing than he had since elizabeth entered the room personally i feel deeply interested in and very hopeful respecting the work before me but i shall want help oh you are sure to find help said elizabeth smiling she rather liked mr when he became enthusiastic you think so he asked quickly i trust i may mrs for i shall want it it is no mere that i am undertaking but a work to call out and develop all a man s powers and energies that you will like she said i fancy you haven t any gift for being lazy and merely sitting still the parish has been very much neglected mr went on he wanted to and brace himself with the thought of his work i shall have to the whole of the machinery or rather to create it for at present it ch v a sketch in black and white can hardly be said to exist at all i must raise money to build a mission room i want to establish a coffee tavern with as little delay as possible for i am afraid the is terrible in the parts of the parish and finally i must try to restore the church and i must have bright hearty services which will be attractive to the people you have plenty of work before you said elizabeth smiling pleasantly i wish you all success in your thank you mrs answered mr then he paused a moment i wish he added looking at her earnestly that i could awaken a strong interest in your mind regarding my parish i am very much interested in all you tell me answered elizabeth she felt that she | 32 |
ought to have a great respect for mr and his work he certainly had higher aims and devoted himself much more to the good of his fellow creatures than any one else whom she knew but elizabeth was rather worried and rather dissatisfied she was quite unequal to getting up a sudden enthusiasm for the improvement of mr s parish she felt wearied in face of his vigour and energy she let the hand with which she had been her face from the fire fall languidly down on to the arm of the chair the movement was a slight one but it arrested mr s attention again it struck him how beautiful she was he felt he was being hurried forward and being compelled to speak more clearly than he had doing i mrs part il i have a very special reason he said a very special reason for desiring to interest you in my future you may not perhaps just now be able to estimate of what deep and vital importance your in my projects may be to me elizabeth began to feel a little uncomfortable there was a curious mixture of determination and entreaty about mr s manner on two occasions he continued when we have had some conversation together you have given me an impression that if a life of perhaps hard but noble work and high endeavour were to you you would not reject it elizabeth raised herself from her easy position and sat straight up looking at mr with very wide open eyes mr had tried to set his ideas in order to think of the cause to his work but as elizabeth surprised and lovely looked up at him all the feelings which had him when he first came into the room rushed in upon him with force not coffee or church or bright services touched mr s thoughts of the future with delight and glory alas i not the cause but the woman drew him on he turned suddenly away and walked hastily across the room then coming back and standing before elizabeth his face pale and working with emotion he said hoarsely will you marry me mrs good gracious mr cried elizabeth ch v a sketch in black and white getting up quickly she was amazed out of all common politeness by this wholly unexpected proposal i beg your pardon she added recovering herself rapidly you must excuse me your question has taken me so entirely by surprise i cannot help myself he said almost fiercely then poor mr fell very low in his own estimation he used the cause as a horse and he knew that it was think pause pray consider he said stretching out his hand with a warning movement do not refuse a call to a noble work do not hastily put aside a chance of greatly others you could do so much mrs you might be a blessing to hundreds of poor degraded creatures with your beauty your talents your position think of all that you might do surely surely these considerations must move you pray pause before you answer me there was something positively alarming in the desperate intensity of the man s manner and in the earnestness of his words elizabeth felt that she was almost wicked in not pausing at all events as he asked her to she stood with her hands clasped tightly together trying to be quite calm and to keep her eyes fixed steadily upon his face though her heart was beating so that she could not see him clearly i have no desire to many she said as quietly and distinctly as she could i have no intention of marrying none i am quite contented with my present circumstances you must pardon my frank mrs part ii ness this is a matter in which the simple truth is best there was a pause the passions of anger and love have a good deal in common mr felt himself filled with a perfect of righteous indignation he forgot he took leave of the broad of the old testament and turned as bitterly upon the beautiful woman before him as st himself might have turned upon some fair wanton in of old the fathers we know did a good deal of scolding at times he fancied that he was about to with the sword of the lord but alas for the of self deception he really smote with no nobler weapon than the of a disappointed lover you reject it then he said bitterly reject all i offer you without a second thought you reject high aims an earnest life a noble of yourself to the good of the church and of your fellow creatures it is a dangerous thing to do mrs a thing that can hardly be done with perfect and what do you reject it for he added looking contemptuously round the room for this for luxury and idleness and curious furniture and delicate for what pleases the eye merely and leaves the heart vain and empty you care only to sit here at your ease like of old to fare every day while the beggar lies at your gate full of while hundreds of men and women live the lives and die the deaths of mere brutes and you will not stretch out a ch v a sketch in black and white finger to help them ah it is you he said and beautiful cold hearted women like you who are the ruin of our day you take plain hard working men captive with your charm and your loveliness you their eyes you turn their minds from high purposes you make them fall in their own you and them you play even at caring for their work you pretend to with them and then in the end you reject them you send them away with their | 32 |
hearts no longer honest with their self respect shattered with the haunting knowledge that they are in their own sight and in the sight of god i have offered you a heroic life and you stop stop cried elizabeth she was too angry to reason or protest or justify herself the very touch of truth in mr s violent discourse where he called her life useless vain and empty made her all the more towards him you forget yourself strangely she said you have not the faintest right to speak to me in this way and understand she added with a cruel light in her eyes understand once and for all it is not so much your work that i reject i could easily at moments even gladly perhaps give myself to that it is the condition with which it is offered to me that i reject i absolutely reject you for a moment they stood looking at each other mr seemed to shrink he seemed to fall together somehow he despised himself which was far more painful to him than himself there was no one point in the whole of this inter a mrs n view that he could remember with satisfaction he had deceived himself he had been in the wrong from beginning to end he had betrayed the cause at first and at last he had been almost insolent to this woman in her own house his anger changed to shame the nobler part of his nature asserted itself i beg your pardon he said simply i have made a great mistake and he turned away without another word and left her mr travelled back to north that night a bitterly man he was disappointed in his love and that was bad enough after his long waiting and thinking but worse still he was disappointed in himself for he had been both weak and to what he held to be the highest good fortunately the care of some five ot six thousand souls does not leave much time for brooding over any disaster however great mr flung himself into parish work with almost alarming vigour he was a stern shepherd and drove rather than led his flock into the ways of and he gained a reputation for determination for for possessing to a remarkable degree the courage of his convictions but though mr changed very little outwardly as time went on he never quite i fancy forgot a certain day late in march a beautiful and scornful woman standing in a luxurious and strangely room and teaching him a wholesome though unpleasant lesson respecting his own and ch vi a sketch in black and white chapter vi vain is the effort to forget there is generally a lively feeling of satisfaction in the remembrance of having played a difficult game and won it i am afraid this satisfaction is not wholly amiable and arises less from the thought of one s own skill than from joy at the painful discomfiture of one s opponent when poor mr admitted his mistake and retired and from the scene of action elizabeth was conscious of a certain proud pleasure she rejoiced in his humiliation but when the first heat of her anger against him died down and she had time to think the matter over quietly she became more sensible of having received than of having administered a pretty sharp rebuke for the last eighteen months she had been trying an experiment by the of various old elements in her life and the careful and mingling various new ones she hoped to manufacture happiness she anxiously watched the drew forth a little of its contents now and then to test them added fresh her furnace fire into a flame to try what more heat would do and then let it and almost die t mrs part il into white ashes to see whether a lower temperature would be more but though she waited and watched with admirable patience and constancy the elements would not mingle and melt into the harmonious glow of true happiness elizabeth began to distrust the results of her experiment she bent anxiously over her work she applied herself to it more diligently than ever but in her secret soul a wretched suspicion grew ever stronger and stronger that happiness can never be that though all the of the world and all the glory of them were passed through the yet not enough happiness could be from them to satisfy the thirst of one frail human creature mr had come into the mysterious gloom of her and had told her almost that her experiment would be a dead failure and that her working at it was so much mere waste of time elizabeth had driven him out with flashing eyes and scornful words yet the longer she thought over it the more she feared that he had spoken the truth s disappearance had disturbed elizabeth very much more indeed than she cared to own even to herself she was almost alarmed at discovering now that he was gone what a large element his society his music and pleasant conversation had represented in her scheme of happiness she was annoyed at feeling his absence so much and rather the part of entire indifference in consequence ch vi a sketch in black and white she had been restless and uncertain before as mrs frank had not failed to note these unpleasant symptoms were by s disappearance mrs frank observed them they made her uncomfortable she asked herself more than once whether she had not made a fatal mistake but she gave no hint to her husband or to the world of the share she had had in producing the present aspect of affairs like the bad characters in the mrs frank kept herself close and like them hid much mental discomfort under a remarkably flourishing exterior nor were these more | 32 |
subtle and troubles the only ones which my poor elizabeth had to struggle with at this period there were others of a plain obvious and material character which caused her a good deal of anxiety during the last year and a half she had spent a large sum of money a house after the and fanciful manner of the present day a considerable then elizabeth had expended a good deal upon her clothes she had a natural tendency towards surrounding herself with the best of everything had advised her to be charming and please her friends she was charming she was more she was in a way magnificent no doubt it is a most admirable thing to be magnificent but unfortunately it costs a lot of money certainly she had not entertained much so that the actual expenses of her housekeeping ought not to have been great yet even in this department a good deal more had been i mrs part ii spent than was actually necessary elizabeth had been rather worried for some time but by the end of march her financial position was such that she perceived some very distinct change in her manner of living to be absolutely indispensable frank was his brother s and was by way of managing elizabeth s affairs for her but in point of fact they had hardly ever mentioned money matters to each other frank had plenty of other things to do and had troubled himself very little about his obligations in the matter and elizabeth always had a tendency to take her fate rather forcibly into her own hands it is never agreeable to allow even to that one has been and foolishly extravagant still less is it agreeable to invite the criticism of another person in the matter elizabeth put off speaking to her brother in law as long as possible though she had great confidence both in his ability and to help her but at last she had to admit that no other course was open to her not caring to include mrs frank in her confidence she had conceived a slight distrust of her charming sister in law lately she wrote privately to frank various necessary papers and statements and begging him to come the first evening he was at liberty and deliver his verdict on the situation frank was of a very reasonable temperament as a rule he had not the least inclination to quarrel with things as they are but he had often felt it hard that the world had not been con ch vi a sketch in black and white on some principle which would have it unnecessary for him ever to have to say anything unpleasant to anybody you may call this inherent sweetness of nature or a lamentable want of moral courage as you please the more delicate virtues always run the risk of being included under the head of weakness of character any way frank found no righteous satisfaction in the brother and the sister seemed to him if possible even more objectionable he felt that elizabeth had been very careless and extravagant but he had not the smallest desire to tell her so consequently he arrived at her house on the evening of the day following mr s stormy visit with a sense upon him that he had a most duty to accomplish he struggled to put off the evil moment of delivering his opinion on elizabeth s expenses as long as possible and took refuge in a little general conversation to begin with i heard from this morning he said when their first greetings were over frank stood with his back to the fire in the attitude so natural to man when he finds himself in the house of a near relation or intimate friend it was only a line he s gone down to says he is gone there on business that is really a statement as coming from him s capacity for business is of the most primitive and description you know i don t somehow understand it he mrs part ii added it seems to me he must have been very much put to it for an excuse before he would take refuge in talking of business to me i can t conceive why he s gone off just now the country must be chilly elizabeth had been standing near him by the fire as he spoke she moved away and sitting down on a sofa near the window began and a black and gold fan which hung at her side with an appearance of considerable interest oh business means drawings i suppose she answered without looking up i he s got some fresh orders there are always a lot of people staying at he may have arranged to meet mrs there he began a drawing of her last season and never finished it yes i know remarked frank offended him somehow and he wouldn t go on with it is rather a vulgar creature i admit elizabeth put up her eyebrows slightly isn t he sufficiently punished in the possession of such a universally attractive wife poor man she said frank shrugged his shoulders as kindly for the of the whole house of she told me elizabeth continued one day that she made it a rule always to go into retreat in lent i inquired where and she said oh at so she s sure to be there now pleasant for said frank smiling complimentary to find yourself and your ch vi a sketch in black and white house regarded in the light of a practical of the world elizabeth did not answer if s gone to draw why can t he just say so though remarked frank after a moment s pause contemplating the with an air of mild suspicion i hate mysteries used to be so but he s changed somehow lately he is sometimes he seems as if | 32 |
he had something on his mind it is a great pity it will be very if follows the multitude to do evil and becomes serious elizabeth bent down over her fan and diligently the silk threads of the of it don t yourself about him frank she said mrs may be trusted to restore anybody to a most becoming state of frank raised his eyes slowly from the and looked at elizabeth with a sensation of slight surprise there was a suggestion of personal feeling in her way of speaking which he could not help remarking he knew that most pretty women have a disposition to dislike each other but he had fancied that elizabeth was above that sort of thing he was quite willing to admit that she was often too and even a little exaggerated but he had never supposed her capable of small or social both her faults and her virtues were on the grand scale he thought elizabeth made a graceful picture in the light of her quaint room as she bent over mrs part a the of her fan with a pretty show of industry in the of it as he looked at her frank thought she at least need not much fear comparison with any woman as far as beauty goes frank had almost forgotten his unpleasant conversation with his wife on the subject of elizabeth and it had taken place nearly three weeks before and frank made it a rule to forget unpleasant things as soon as possible suddenly as he stood looking at his sister he remembered his wife s suggestion what so natural as that should fall in love with this charming woman and for was a delightful fellow what so probable as that elizabeth should in some degree return his affection yet the notion was distinctly to frank somehow he quite acknowledged that it would be absurd to expect every young lady who might have the misfortune to lose her husband at one and twenty never to contemplate marrying again it would be altogether too much to demand that all young should devote themselves to some such mild form of other men s he thought might do what they pleased but for robert s widow to be thinking of a second marriage within little more than two years of her husband s death no most decidedly frank did not like it he was conscious of a sudden jealous tenderness for his brother s memory how robert had worshipped elizabeth and yet she hardly ever even referred to him it often happens that when two people are to ch vi a sketch in black and white who know each other intimately without cause or spoken word they will both fall into the same train of thought at the same moment you may put this singular phenomenon down to mere coincidence which like charity has a capacity for covering a multitude of inconvenient facts or you may talk of brain waves and subtle between kindred minds the phenomenon remains whatever may be the explanation of it mr s somewhat ferocious proposal of the day before had pressed the possibility of a second marriage clearly upon elizabeth s mind she had heard some slight of the gossip regarding herself and which had been going the rounds among her friends and acquaintances but elizabeth confident in the honesty of her own friendship had put it aside as a disagreeable impertinence upon which she would not condescend to bestow a second thought now as she played with her black and gold fan while frank stood meditating on the she had a sudden illumination people thought that under cover of friendship she was trying to make marry her himself thought so and had therefore retired everybody possibly even and frank thought that to use a vulgar expression she had been throwing herself at this young gentleman s head elizabeth sat aghast as this odious notion unfolded itself before her ashamed angry and outraged she looked up suddenly at frank to read a confirmation of her fears in his expression mrs part il frank was feeling somewhat angry too he liked his friend immensely but just at this moment he was chiefly sensible of a keen feeling of loving jealousy for his brother when elizabeth glanced up their eyes met both she and her companion were conscious of a curious sensation all the vague had died out of frank s face in as far as it was possible for him to look severe he looked so at this moment this change of expression developed the latent likeness between him and robert very clearly for an instant it seemed to elizabeth that her dead husband was looking down earnestly almost reproachfully at her she drew back with a start and put up one hand almost as though she wanted to force him away from her the action was so rapid that frank hardly observed it he turned away and after a moment said quietly have you got that sketch elizabeth i ve often meant to ask you and haven t quite liked to somehow that once did of robert have you got it or have i elizabeth straightened herself up and clasped her hands tightly together in her lap her forehead contracted sharply as with a sensation of sudden pain there was a moment s pause and then she answered in a voice which she evidently had a difficulty in keeping steady i have got it but but why do you ask just now oh i don t know said frank feeling a little ch vi a sketch in black and white confused it occurred to me just now i shouldn t like it to be lost you know and i couldn t find it said you had it yes i have got it elizabeth repeated was quite right frank s indignation was not of | 32 |
the burning order already he began to accuse himself of having treated his fair sister in law with a singular absence of the delicate consideration which was her due generally is right you know he said with a slight smile wishing to pass the matter off as lightly as possible mentally he called himself an awkward brute elizabeth had risen from her seat she stood for a moment looking straight in front of her then she threw back her head with a certain defiant movement and turning to her companion said coldly if we are going to talk business hadn t we better begin at once i am not quick at figures it will take me a long time to understand i shall we come into the other room and begin frank felt rather humble as he followed elizabeth into the back drawing room he told himself that he had given way to a nasty suspicious state of mind and that he ought to be ashamed of himself no doubt the sketch was hanging up in elizabeth s bedroom with fresh flowers before it nice women are given to arranging dainty little and at which to worship their dead saints frank felt very he had trodden on sacred ground without making any decent attempt mrs to remove his shoes first he felt that he had given elizabeth cause to be angry with him he was less inclined than ever to say unpleasant things to her about her extravagant expenditure i blame myself very much in these business matters of yours elizabeth he said i m afraid i have been i ought to have looked after things more and then you wouldn t have all this worry elizabeth sat down at the writing table and b arranging the papers she was vividly conscious all the while that the drawing of her dead husband lay face downwards in the drawer just under her hand she had robert s money to help her to forget robert the thought was hardly a soothing one just now i don t think i need bother you with a statement of everything frank went on if you ll just agree to my suggestion and leave the rest to me i ll set it all straight elizabeth looked up quickly with a keenly distressed expression oh no no she said i can t let you do that i don t mean settle it in the positive and material form answered frank smiling it can all be arranged without any more trouble to me than the writing of a few letters it is a miserable business cried elizabeth getting up suddenly and turning away while the hot tears came into her eyes pray don t make yourself so unhappy elizabeth ch vi a sketch in black and white said frank quickly nothing so very desperate has happened after all you re in a little mess but you re by no means yet elizabeth was always disposed to feel too strongly frank knew he was prepared for that but still the expression of her face did seem to him most tragic at this moment what shall i do asked she without looking at him well he answered if you didn t mind going away for a time and letting the house for the season it s so pretty that you might ask a fancy price for it i think we could put all your affairs straight i am quite willing to go said elizabeth the house and all connected with it represented so much annoyance and disappointment just now that she was disposed to welcome almost any change i suppose you could go down to mr s at for the summer couldn t you frank added oh no please not there said elizabeth quickly she shrank from the idea of under these circumstances elizabeth had begun to feel that she had not behaved altogether nicely to the she from the notion of making use of those persons whom she had formerly neglected t i go abroad she said i suppose i should have to take with me but i could live very i could easily find a quiet at or somewhere about there mrs part il wouldn t you be awfully bored though observed frank oh no she answered i think i should rather enjoy being alone at this moment with the thought of s possible interpretation of her conduct strong in her mind and the memory of her husband so strangely and suddenly forced upon her remembrance elizabeth had a sort of sullen longing to escape from everybody there are always the mountains and the lake to fall back upon she added frank made a rather expressive face i don t go in very much for mountains myself you know he said they are rather companions when one is alone but you do just as you like elizabeth i don t feel as if it mattered very much where i went or what i did said elizabeth with a sudden bitterness i am afraid i am altogether a everything seems to go wrong with me frank not having the keys to the position could only smooth his fair beard and wish in silence that women were not so much given to making general statements of a and unreasonable nature after a minute he observed in tones intended to be encouraging s bent on going abroad again this year so i suppose we shall go generally has her own way in the end she and the children might join you in july and i would follow as soon as i can escape from that everlasting paper ch vi a sketch in black and white elizabeth did not offer any comment very well then he said leave all these accounts and things in my hands i ll see about letting the house at once we ought to let it from the beginning of may can you pack | 32 |
up and clear out by then do you think oh yes she replied wearily i can be ready any time the sooner the better as far as i am concerned mrs chapter vii for a of thou shalt here likely find a of for of pleasure a pound of for an inch of mirth an ell of as doth an these miseries our life it is not necessary to follow elizabeth through the processes of packing up arranging her house and taking leave of her acquaintances many of whom were a good deal interested by the news of her approaching departure not to be found and mrs letting her house and going abroad it looked very much as if something had happened a good many questions were put to but the anxious were not very fully satisfied by her answers had private reasons for desiring to keep her own counsel and displayed a considerable amount of the ingenuity that her husband so much admired in her too curious suffice it to say that the house was let at a high rent to a clean and tenant and that elizabeth saw that her pecuniary difficulties were in a fair way to be eventually settled there is something in the ending of almost any episode in one s career the episode in itself may not have been very brilliant or ch vii a sketch in black and white tory yet there is a sense of regret as one turns the page and says to this is done with any way it may influence the future a little possibly but practically it is past and over and will never be read through again so felt elizabeth the last few days she spent in london things seemed to have broken off short and the future looked very blank and empty to her in three days she would start on her journey and she began to fear with frank that the mountains might prove rather cold and company after all she had been packing and arranging and saying all day long about half past five a necessity for air and quiet came over her and herself in a long fur trimmed over jacket for the april evenings were still cold she went out to refresh herself with a solitary walk by the river she had been hurried and in the last few weeks she had been called on suddenly to form new plans and take an entirely new departure she wanted a little time to arrange her ideas and get some general view of the situation there had been a good deal of rain earlier in the day and the sky was covered with a of dull gray cloud the rain was over but the were still wet and the image of the lamp posts was repeated in ugly lines on their shiny surface the river was very full and by with little hurrying circles and here and there breaking the face of its otherwise smooth and current it choked and around the of the bridges and then swept on again swiftly reflect u mrs part ii ing the sad leaden coloured sky above in its broad bosom the buildings on either bank loomed black and mysterious through the dense misty atmosphere the itself was quiet and deserted enough but elizabeth could hear distinctly in the distance the hoarse murmur rising up from the crowded streets suddenly a train rushed out across the railway bridge with a of metal and roar of steam and when the noise of it had died away far down in the south she noted the sharp rattle of a over a stone crossing the steady of the horse s hoofs and the of the under the wheels as it passed her another rattle over the stones again in the distance and the sound of it too died away in the murmur of the great dim toiling city a sense of almost intolerable loneliness came over elizabeth there was something weird and strange to day in the hurrying river and in all these familiar sounds she seemed to be standing on the edge of a vast world of movement of life of earnest striving and endeavour in which she had neither lot nor part the past had not satisfied her hungry craving for happiness and the future seemed to offer even less than the past love and marriage alas she had tried them they were over and had yielded but scant delight friendship her friend had grown tired and left her without a word duty elizabeth shrank from the idea of duty it meant humiliation and self mrs s face thin and faded came before her and mr s hot sounded in her ears ch vii a sketch in black and white while the wet south wind swept across the river bringing the delicate flush of youth and health to her cheeks and men and women passing by turned to look once again at the richly dressed stately young lady pacing slowly along in the damp and dusky evening elizabeth felt herself utterly weary and desolate was it true then that life had little enough to give after all did it really offer nothing but illusion disappointment hopes solemn vows broken fair promises forgotten and then the end of it cold dark and ugly sweet lips that would kiss kind hands that would clasp no more for ever beautiful limbs lying rigid in death eyes closed and gentle voices hushed in everlasting silence and beyond a hope merely a possibility to faith a promise a pledge but faith alas is often too weak to grasp it elizabeth thought of the quiet room shaded from the fierce glare of the southern sun in which robert had panted his life slowly and painfully away two short years before of the last smile with which he had turned to frank and her | 32 |
as they watched together by his bedside of the horrible chill and bewilderment that had overtaken her when she that he would never move or speak to her again was it possible that this was all that life could give her after all elizabeth was filled with an immense self pity those pagan instincts which are strong in every nature that is capable of being deeply moved by outward nature by beauty by the glory of physical health and physical joy stirred within her she passionately against things as they are mrs part n against cold and fact against the sorrowful ordering of this world against the strange of individual suffering in the general movement of things it all seemed cruel cruel cruel why was she why was she tormented thus she against her fate and like job of old was tempted to curse god and die down in the west above the jagged line of and chimneys on the river bank the clouds were slowly breaking and between the long level lines of them there showed a space of open sky pale clear green glowing into delicate light down towards the horizon it seemed infinitely far pure utterly peaceful set there for a token of final and everlasting rest to the troubled and struggling children of men to elizabeth it seemed to image forth the pale rapture of saints and angels it was of the heaven heavenly she was of the earth she trembled and shrank away from the lofty purity of the christian ideal and demanded some more immediate and material description of satisfaction and happiness she was she felt too much rooted and in what was simply human to be able to fling herself for comfort on what was divine it seemed to her that the awful and majestic figures of saints and crowned now with the glories of their past sacrifice and joyful in adoration could never have been men and women of like passions with herself they seemed useless to her for comfort or encouragement or example their past anguish and their present bliss seemed as far removed from her ch vii a sketch in black and white vain and trivial life as the unutterable purity of the western sky was removed from the muddy river with its floating bits of wreck and weed peep down in the river current too she feared worse things than mere broken wreck and weed moved sullenly along foul dead things which had once shown fair and graceful enough in the genial sunshine but now for very shame hid their dreadful and forms in the cold heart of the hurrying stream so different it seemed to her were the human and the divine the first had failed her and she was desolate but she had neither the faith nor the courage yet to repent and throw herself for comfort and support upon the second it was growing dusk the long lines of lamps along the while the still wet pavement gave back their and distorted reflection more than one by had paused a moment to look rather curiously at the tall young lady in the chilly evening air elizabeth had been too busy with her own thoughts to heed them but she was sensible at last that some man passed her and then stopped and turned back moved by a sudden impulse she turned round too and faced him it was ah she cried stretching out her hands towards him i am so glad so very glad you have come back during his retirement in had pictured to himself pretty often how he would meet elizabeth again and what he would say to her but j rs part il this meeting was both unexpected in itself and unusual in its surroundings between the weird spiritual light of the western sky and the uncertain glimmering of the vulgar gas lamps it seemed to him that her face looked strangely white and scared her sweet mouth tremulous her beautiful eyes wild she looked to him like some lovely lost child he could not stop to indulge in the usual little of recognition he longed to protect and comfort her something is the matter somebody has frightened you he said fiercely possessed with a strong desire to find that somebody and destroy the creature on the spot no said elizabeth nothing is the matter and that in a way is the worst of it i have only frightened myself with my own fancies ah she added putting out her hands with a weary despairing gesture it is all too big for me a good looking young man and an unusually handsome well dressed woman standing and talking earnestly together in the twilight are pretty sure to attract attention and suggest interesting but somewhat peculiar comments just as elizabeth spoke two men passed and heard one of them laugh as he moved away and make some observation to his companion immediately mrs frank and all the outraged social rushed into his mind hadn t we better walk on mrs he said hastily fm afraid it may look a little odd for us to be standing here so ch vii a sketch in black and white the observation upon elizabeth it seemed so cold and when suddenly appeared before her in the midst of her loneliness and distress she had turned to him with a sense of comfort and security she had come nearer changing friendship into a feeling than at any previous moment of their acquaintance now his words almost seemed to imply that she had gone too far she remembered her fears regarding the cause of his disappearance she recalled the gossip which she knew had gone about concerning their connection elizabeth s pride came to her rescue she entirely recovered her self possession and turning walked rapidly towards home i am glad to see you mr she said after a minute or two with a certain coldness and | 32 |
spider s web the delicate almost invisible threads clung mrs part ii about her her movement almost choking her her and hopelessly round with their thin compelling strength she struggled against this sensation she determined angrily come what might to see edward again this room is hot she said for all answer to her sister in law s upon her conduct the fire is large replied calmly i suppose your maids are anxious to finish up your whole stock of coals before they go maids always regard tenants as their natural enemies they can t bear leaving a scrap of anything for their i fancy we are all inclined to be a little prejudiced against our the heat is intolerable said elizabeth again she moved across the room hastily and threw one of the windows wide open letting in a rush of wind which made the heavy curtains and the candles oh what a fearful draught cried mrs frank putting up both hands to keep a little of the unexpected blast from her face for pity s sake elizabeth shut down that window and come and speak to me like a reasonable creature if you want to give me something pray let it be something more agreeable than a violent cold in my head elizabeth shut the window down slowly the cold air and the physical exertion had done her good she felt less excited and bewildered yet more determined than ever to have her own way in one ch viii a sketch in black and white matter at least she sat down quietly and looked at edward s card again she observed that he had the name of the hotel at which he was staying in the comer of it now that the has ceased said mrs frank her long gloves with great composure i may as well tell you what i came here on purpose to say frank wants you to come over to dinner to night to morrow he ll be busy all day you really must come back with me this evening elizabeth we ll have a lovely time putting the babies to bed before dinner now you ll please frank and come won t you there was something soothing in the thought of those two small curly headed creatures in their little white night gowns they seemed to belong to the same simple side of life as edward there was a sweet though sad expression on elizabeth s face as she answered yes she said i ll come gladly especially to see the babies mrs frank looked at her intently for a moment you certainly are a very attractive woman elizabeth she remarked there is a great deal of about you i enjoy immensely having you to think about though i don t pretend to understand you i hope you won t do anything very extraordinary while you are abroad i should be so sorry not to be present if you do anything extraordinary pray keep it till the summer till i come out to you x o mrs part n elizabeth always disliked these intimate reflections of her sister in law s i suppose i shall see you to morrow evening again she said mrs frank s last remarks ah my dear elizabeth rejoined the other that is really dreadful now i must confess all my sins i ought to have done it before but something put it out of my head i really have been a fearful idiot i quite forgot it was your last day will you ever forgive me she added with a very bright smile and charming little air of it was horribly stupid of me but i made an engagement for to morrow evening then you won t be able to come here inquired elizabeth s observations regarding her walk with had made her uncomfortable again one of the very last things she desired was to spend an evening alone with him still less did she want bim to be third wheel to the cart if edward came as she intended that he should oh we ll come in for half an hour said it struck her some arrangement might be with she did not at all want him to be put off don t alter any plans for us we ll certainly come in we haven t to go to our affair till late and of course we should have come to say good bye any way now elizabeth do come back with me at once she added getting up i m sure you needn t ch viii a sketch in black and white change your gown it is grand enough to receive the whole of the in and frank and i are very simple people you know elizabeth paused a moment before answering she looked tired and pale and yet her eyes were unusually bright my dear creature it will be long past the children s bed time if you re not quick said a little impatiently oh just give me two minutes cried elizabeth i must write a note i won t be long mrs frank felt that things were serious she was playing her game altogether in the dark she felt that it was necessary to be cautious ril wait she said but pray don t put anybody off on account of our engagement we can quite well come in for a time to morrow evening elizabeth moved quickly into the other room and sat down at the writing table waited slowly up her gloves again she was a good deal interested in the thought of elizabeth s note she felt very curious to know whether it would be addressed to or not she heard elizabeth writing hurriedly for a minute or two then there was a pause followed by the sound of paper being sharply torn up and the fluttering noise of it as it fell into the paper basket | 32 |
and but there he stopped was announcing somebody elizabeth made a rapid movement towards the door then seemed to think better of it and stood still looked sharply at her her breath was coming quickly and the two spots of colour on her cheeks burned brighter than ever i mrs part ii cause and effect often seem to a to be rather edward as he entered the room certainly did not strike as a very individual he was a tall man of about eight and twenty to judge by his looks even in his evening clothes there was a faint and distant suggestion of the stable about him and his trousers undoubtedly were rather tight a fresh complexion gray eyes a fair moustache and features calling for no particular comment a kindly young gentleman with a profound knowledge of horses and dogs and sport in all its branches with a disposition probably to hold art and books and music in slight contempt and to the more cultivated side of life generally but still honest and loyal hearted and acknowledged universally in his own set to be a thoroughly good fellow he came forward towards elizabeth with a frank cheery smile it s very kind of you to ask me to come and see you in this sort of way mrs he said shaking hands with her i was awfully sorry to miss you yesterday i wished very much to see you again answered elizabeth stood watching her he fancied there was something constrained and unnatural in her manner she was generally so composed and almost stately in her bearing that her present restlessness struck him all the more forcibly ch ix a sketch in black and white i am going abroad to morrow so that i could not leave the matter to chance i thought you would forgive my short and invitation elizabeth said this prettily looking up at the tall young man before her did not enjoy the situation in the least i was only too delighted to come i m sure said mr very cordially then he looked rather hard at he seemed to expect the latter to speak to him whether from or from some subtle feeling of the of the position elizabeth could not make up her mind to introduce the two men to each other there was an awkward pause was the first to speak his voice was rather loud and noisy noted the fact he was disposed to be observant of all this man s short you always seem to be going abroad mrs he said i called here about well let s see last september two years i believe it was just before i went to america you know i ve been to america he added with an air of simple importance which considerably no she said i didn t know it yes went on i have though mrs i had a very jolly time a lot of sport everybody goes to the rocky mountains to shoot now you know it s quite the right thing you ve been i suppose he added turning suddenly with an inquiring glance to no he answered quite slowly fixing his eyes i mrs part il meanwhile on mr s boots i don t shoot and i always avoid doing the right thing on principle it s a little shall we say to do the right thing looked up at elizabeth as he said the last few words there was something of surprise and disappointment in her expression and she did not seem to hear what he was saying mr stared at the last speaker for a minute with an air of slight bewilderment then he seemed to conclude that had intended to be amusing and laughed a little in a civil manner but i was going to tell you mrs he said turning again to elizabeth that when i called here before you were abroad then and they said something about illness and i felt awfully sorry i hope you weren t ill mrs the colour died out of elizabeth s cheeks no no she said quickly it was not i that was ill i m uncommonly glad of that remarked mr he really looked quite relieved but he continued to turn questioning glances upon the young squire seemed to find something singularly in the aspect of elizabeth s other guest felt by this inspection this man he supposed was some old friend of mrs s possibly a distant cousin perhaps they had played together when they both wore ch ix a sketch in black and white short and that thought was not wholly to him but they were far enough apart now any way and the man whoever he was had no right to presume upon his old acquaintance with mrs his knowing her when she wore if he had done so by no means justified his staring in that sort of fashion at her present friends moved away and sat down in an by the fireplace the same in which elizabeth had sat when mr expended all the powers of his eloquence in trying to convert her to the cause and into mrs felt far from amiable two are company and three are none he had a very distinct feeling that he was the third just now he began idly some tall white blossoms that stood in a glass jar on a little table at his side the flowers were very sweet elizabeth had filled all the and pots with them and the air of the rooms was heavy and faint with their perfume if he must needs be third was determined at least to appear unconscious of representing that generally unwelcome member but as he leaned back in the and with half closed eyes watched his fair hostess and the tall young squire his irritation grew stronger and stronger was generally | 32 |
very respectful and tender towards all living things the sight of a flower lying fading in the hot dust of the street among scraps of paper and rubbish caused him actual pain this evening he was possessed with a curiously feeling and as he noted mrs part il every word and motion of the white elizabeth and that objectionable young man he pulled one or two blossoms to pieces in the most wanton and hard hearted fashion elizabeth had moved across the room and seated herself rather wearily in a chair on the other side of the fireplace nearly opposite to edward having discovered a solid and somewhat elevated seat drew it up beside her and sat down too giving the legs of his trousers a little up just above the knee as he did so and asking a number of questions regarding at the same time that s an awfully nice old house of your uncle s mrs he said i was wonderfully fond of you know i wanted my father not to sell that little place of poor aunt maria s but he would do it he s a capital fellow in his way my father added mr but i always have thought him awfully pig headed elizabeth smiled faintly yes he is pig headed went on with an air of strong conviction if he wants you to do a thing he never leaves you alone till it s done isn t there something about a man bearing a yoke in his youth upon my word mrs that s just what i ve had to do i ve never had my own way yet about anything edward a little towards elizabeth and looked full at her as he said this then he suddenly seemed to remember s presence again and cast a sharp glance towards him ch ix a sketch in black and white happened to raise his eyes at the moment and they met mr s he felt singularly disagreeable he gave an insolent little and said slowly i it has been very good for you it hasn t been pleasant any way answered shortly and turned to elizabeth again have any of those girls married yet mrs he went on poor old i used to feel awfully sorry for him you know he really was a very good old sort but mrs was an awful woman it used to make me perfectly sick to see the way she crammed those wretched girls down every man s throat and poor old used to get so hot and miserable and yet he always did exactly what she told him that woman was a caution you know elizabeth smiled again everything goes on just the same down there she said people never seem to change at all in i wonder if the with the body and wheels is going still said laughing it was the finest thing out to see poor old driving that with mrs and all the little inside then do you remember that dance at the at he continued throwing himself back in his chair sticking his long legs straight out in front of him and his fingers into his trousers pockets what a nice dance that was i don t believe i ve ever enjoyed a ball so much since y mrs part ii edward paused and sighed as if the memories of that ball were really almost too much for him elizabeth was evidently trying to bestow all her attention upon her guest she looked tired and pale but she managed to keep up a certain show of interest in mr s numerous reminiscences glancing across at her from his felt more irritable than ever the conversation seemed to him in very poor taste the young squire s was small thought him rather a coarse person it was to suppose that he should be in any way connected with mrs s past life pulled the head quite savagely off a flower as if that was to blame in some mysterious way for his present do you remember said again turning towards elizabeth do you remember mrs the squire took a little too much of his own champagne at supper and just as we were all going away he seized on poor dear old aunt maria and dragged her out into the middle of the room and said we d have another sir ton my word you know i don t believe i ever laughed so much in my life poor aunt maria was in the most awful state ah that was a good ball do you remember began to phrase wanted you to give him a second and you d promised all mr checked himself suddenly and cleared his throat with a rather unsuccessful attempt at in ch ix a sketch in black and white difference while he looked quickly across at again it to strike him suddenly that he might be going a little too far had given over pulling the unfortunate flowers to pieces and had picked up a book he was not reading he was watching his companions quietly and wondering whether it would not be much wiser and more dignified just to get up and go he was evidently not wanted his position was a little ridiculous and yet there was something about elizabeth s appearance which made him very anxious to stay there was a strangely blank look on her face which he could not understand if she had merely looked bored he would have thought it natural enough under the circumstances but she looked something more than bored had a conviction that a good deal was going on around him that he could not at present then mrs was going away to morrow he put his dignity in his pocket and decided to remain ive never been back to since said mr leaning towards elizabeth slightly as he spoke not seen any | 32 |
speak to his wife who turned to elizabeth and talked to her with a good deal of vivacity for a minute or two apparently she was offering a lot of good advice regarding the next day s journey then the two women kissed each other with a pretty show of affection edward mrs part ii shook hands with elizabeth and said something could not quite hear what but he thought he recognised the word awfully evidently they were all going away played on he hardly knew why when frank had elizabeth good bye he came over to the piano and laid his hand on s shoulder we re going my dear fellow he said and you must come too she is quite knocked up and i want her to be quiet got up with a hopeless feeling upon him it was a wretched ending to a wretched evening everything had gone against him had had no chance he went up to elizabeth i suppose i must go too mrs he said elizabeth held out her hand to him there was a blank look on her face she tried to smile but the smile died away again and she did not speak went out of the room feeling just a little mad he ran downstairs after frank and began putting on his coat with a considerable absence of his accustomed composure he wanted to get out of the house and be quit of it all i knew mrs years ago down at edward was saying to mrs frank while he helped her with more gallantry than to wrap herself in her fur cloak ah yes she answered she isn t a bit altered added ch x a sketch in black and white for some reason or other this observation it made him feel wild it seemed as if elizabeth was being claimed by this man had just opened the door and two were waiting outside in the dimly lighted street the night was cold and chilly with a rain came to a sudden desperate determination he began taking off his overcoat again forgotten something i must say to mrs he said turning to frank don t wait for me fu follow you in five minutes oh my dear fellow don t go back now answered frank quickly do let her be quiet she s tired to death i won t be long said again i must just speak five words to her frank would have protested further but his wife who had watched this little scene with lively feelings of interest called out to him rather impatiently for pity s sake make haste frank you and mr will have plenty of other opportunities for conversation pray don t keep me meditating for ever on this wet edward laughed his company laugh he fancied mr frank must get the worst of it sometimes very reluctantly frank followed his wife best gown and all out to the cab the front door the two rattled away in different mrs part ii directions and then made his way upstairs again he had a feeling that his conduct was a little peculiar that some people might not accuse him of a want of delicate feeling in going back thus after having bid his hostess good bye but had got to a point where he cared very little what anybody might say or think he only knew that there was an absolute necessity upon him to see elizabeth again the door of the back drawing room was standing half open on to the landing waited a moment to steady himself he was about to take the most important step he had ever taken in his life and his old habit of looking calmly at the situation itself the house was very quiet as he paused in the doorway he became aware of a low sound in the air a sound not very often heard in luxurious rooms amid warmth and beauty and the sweet scent of flowers but a common enough sound alas for all that associated it with dusky forms crouched down on at night half seen by the by in the dingy or sad tattered figures at street corners in the bleak mist and fog of dull gray evenings it was only the sound of a woman sobbing and that not loudly sobbing quietly as though hope was dead and her own heart nearly broken waited a minute or two hoping that the sobbing would cease but it did not do so the sound became terrible a perfect nightmare to him he could bear it no longer he felt he ch x a sketch in black and white ought to go away and yet the desire to see elizabeth once more grew stronger and stronger he pushed the door wide open and went into the room had listened to the sound which arrested his attention a he paused in the doorway with considerable emotion but it had hardly prepared him for the scene within elizabeth had sunk down on to the floor near the big arm chair in which had sat so quietly nursing his resentment against the young squire earlier in the evening she was in a half kneeling half sitting position she had thrown her bare arms out with a passionate gesture across the little black wooden table at her side her face was pressed down upon her two hands the of flowers was and the pure white blossoms were scattered on the carpet s first instinct was to retire he could hardly bring himself to look at the usually quiet stately elizabeth as she lay there shaken with the storm of her grief he had an idea that except on the stage a woman s emotions should be as carefully veiled as her form it seemed to him almost to permit himself to see her now when she had thrown aside all conventional restraint and | 32 |
ever know how bitter but it is all my own doing and it is only just to there was something almost sublime in this submission he thought of our lady of sorrow again and could have down and worshipped the woman who stood before him crowned with the glory and the anguish of her utter self after a little time she looked up again all the hardness had melted out of her face and there was something very wistful and tender in its expression if i had only lived two or three hundred years ago she said i should have gone away now and buried my mistakes and repentance in some i should have put on coarse garments have brought my body into with and penance have hardened my hands with labour and i mrs part ii don t cried suddenly with a shudder pray don t mrs i can t stand this elizabeth smiled faintly but her lips were tremulous why not she asked gently i think do you know i could be very peaceful and contented in some quiet place where high walls shut out the world and where i might tend poor old sick folk and teach little children but this is a mere fanciful dream touched with self love again i can t do this no thank god you can t he said under his breath i must do something in a way far harder than this she went on something quite commonplace and comfortable i must go back to to morrow and try to please and comfort those whom in my selfish pride i thrust aside and scorned i have made a great failure now i shall be content with very simple duties i shall be humble in future i think and quite willing to take the lowest room there are better things in life than happiness perhaps but it is sad she added looking away and speaking more to herself than to him it is all very sad it is all over for me and the long years stretch out so gray and level into the distance and i shall be all alone and i am so young the last few words moved strangely she was very young and the mystery and tragedy of it all seemed to him infinite as he looked at her in her piteous beauty and sorrow read ch x a sketch in black and white his own heart clear friendship seemed to him a very pale and good his took to themselves wings and flew away all his doubts and resolved themselves into one passionate desire his face grew thin and eager and a great light came into his eyes he forgot everything else he only knew that amid warmth and light and the penetrating sweetness of flowers he was standing alone face to face with the woman he loved threw back his head and took a long deep breath it seemed to him he had never really lived till now elizabeth was struck with the change in his appearance it almost frightened her instinctively she moved a step back elizabeth listen to me he said bending towards her listen i love you i know that i love you look dearest i know i am not worth very much i have been a light minded frivolous creature enough all my days but i will love and honour you i will serve you early and late your wish shall be my law i will be your very slave i believe i could make you very happy elizabeth only love me darling he said love me the young man s eager face the words of passionate tenderness and worship were very wonderful coming to elizabeth at this moment she had sunk very low in her own estimation all her pride was in the dust and now suddenly unexpectedly came this offer of love and protection ah she said how can i love you i dare not love you after all the past mrs part ii we will forget all the past he answered we will both begin life anew from to night the future is ours only love me elizabeth do not despise poor elizabeth if she hesitated she had taken but a few steps along the rugged way of and self denial that leads up as we trust at last to the glory and peace of heaven saints and have paused and turned pale at sight of that hard stony road winding up the bare what wonder if this delicate weak and woman should cast longing backward glances at the green pastures and still waters in the valley below what wonder if gentle companionship if love and beauty and common human joys should tempt her if more tender hopes even than these hopes which like every true woman she had cherished and which it had been her lot to see and die should move her to give way tiny baby hands seemed for a moment to press about her bosom and sweet baby lips to meet her own in clinging kisses with eyes dim with strange half happy tears with a smile dawning again on her pale and weary face she stood looking at her waiting lover thought he read her answer elizabeth he said in a tone of triumphant joy and stretched out both his hands with an impetuous gesture to take hers as he did so the wooden slipped from her yielding fingers and fell with a hard dry rattle on to the floor and elizabeth started apart i ch x a sketch in black and white in moments of vivid excitement and deep emotion a very small incident may change the course of feeling and consequently of events that symbol of prayer and and humility with its roughly carved image of the dying of mankind seemed suddenly to an | 32 |
tested by the steady strain of every day has always struck me as a very composed place it does not look as if its inhabitants would ever be the victims of spiritual exaltation there is a suggestion of kindly and secure well being about its warm sober colouring solid quaint and windows and about its well kept and gardens which is certainly soothing and some places incline one instinctively to take comfortable views of this world and the next and dispose one to wonder whether after all there is not a great deal to be said on the side of the the old brown roused himself from a nap on the broad as elizabeth got out of the carriage he his tail slowly and smiled a lazy welcome to his former but he did not feel it necessary to express any more active joy at her return had reached the time of life common to dogs and men alike when warmth is the greatest good and cold the greatest evil of existence when no event is very surprising and the mind is willing to in any state of things short of actual physical distress the softly radiant spring day the stately calm of the house and the old dog sleeping his easy life away on the sunny formed a strange and pathetic contrast to the rapid movements and worn eager face of the beautiful young woman who passed hastily indoors the was out and mrs was ch xi a sketch in black and white upstairs they had not expected mrs till the afternoon train so said when he met elizabeth in the hall he was slightly put about being to sudden and to that of ideas which they produce elizabeth went swiftly upstairs along the dark landing and opened the sitting room door the scene within was very calm and sweetly cheerful the room with its white walls and light curtains seemed full of sunshine one of the windows stood open and a soft breeze bearing delicate of the fresh turned earth of the springing grass and opening leaves came in at it and gently stirred the of mrs s white lace cap as she sat quietly knitting by the fire there was something in this peaceful little picture which affected elizabeth strongly the imperative almost hard expression died out of her face and gave place to a wistful tenderness mrs looked up as the door opened her forehead slightly and a pink flush came into her cheeks elizabeth did not give her time either to rise or speak but walked quickly across the room and knelt down on the hearth rug before her aunt she said and her voice took the tones of entreaty while her eyes filled with tears i have been greatly to blame i left you two years ago in the foolish pride of my heart but i have been punished since then i have learnt a mrs part ii hard lesson i have come back to ask your forgiveness i will be gentle and patient i will try my utmost to please you i will be like your own daughter if you will only forgive me and let me come home elizabeth s little speech ended in a sob all the hungry mother love in mrs awoke and towards the woman before her she stayed neither to ask questions nor read a moral she merely put out both her hands and drew the sweet weary head down to rest upon her bosom my poor child she said softly you are very welcome home perhaps we both have made mistakes in the past but we will forget them it must only be a question of love not of forgiveness between you and me ah said elizabeth with a sigh like that of a little child which having lost its way and wandered far and wide finds itself safe at last in its mother s arms again ah you do forgive me dear aunt i know i did wrong but i am sorry and i am so very very tired mrs stooped and kissed her forehead well then darling rest she said it must be owned that the of things are always rather trying are full of hope and promise we have been disappointed many times before certainly but a fig for past disappointments this time all will surely go straight xi a sketch in black and white though too often touched with dissatisfaction and regret still have a promise of coming repose or change about them which is generally more or less grateful the morning and the evening are romantic and one can think of a hundred and one pretty things to say concerning them but it a very and active state of mind or a certain quality of wholesome in one s composition if one can honestly sing the praises of the the morning of poor elizabeth s repentance was strong and fresh nothing seemed too hard for her to dare too difficult for her to undertake but in healthy natures spiritual development is almost always gradual there may be a moment of sudden awakening when the head and heart alike are convinced of error and the recognition of that error may produce a lasting effect on the character but resignation and self cannot be in a moment the of them is a long and process during which the poor soul driven forth from its old dwelling place and fainting in the arid wilderness loses faith and courage at times and cries out with hungry longing after the flesh pots of its forsaken egypt for a while the passionate feeling born of love to her dead husband and bitter sorrow for her past supported elizabeth the breaking wave carried her far up the shore but later when the first intensity of her feeling had subsided when mere emotion was required to into steady | 32 |
pages of the letter old mr writes they want me to go there at once set his teeth rather hard as he watched the of wind chasing each other across the sullen face of the lake he remembered elizabeth as he had seen her last standing pale and patient in her white dress among the scattered flowers he had told her once that were silly things but he thought with a sickening feeling of dread of the dull red stain upon her bosom come here i cried frank sharply look here this letter s a good week old it was sent to ch xii a sketch in black and white london and evidently it wasn t forwarded for several days moved quickly across the room and kneeling down by her husband s side began reading the letter anything may have happened by this time frank said what on earth am i to do oh fm afraid she is really very ill i am afraid it is serious said in accents of genuine alarm and distress i tell you what frank she went on getting up and standing by him with a pretty air of determination i must go off to her at once this very evening indeed you ll do nothing of the kind he answered shortly like a good many other people frank had a habit of getting remarkably cross when he was frightened it s quite bad enough to have elizabeth catching a nasty fever going and about in cottages without your rushing off to look after her and catching it too and i ve not the least intention of being left here tied by the leg with a grumbling nurse and a couple of naughty children on my hands i can tell you i m sure the children are not particularly naughty answered who in the very article of death would have up to defend the reputation of the two babies i don t know what on earth to do though said frank had turned round and was standing with his back to the window he had formed a mrs part ii definite plan in his own mind but he wanted to propose it quietly and make it appear the most natural and obvious course in the world both to himself and to his companions he sauntered slowly up to the sofa one thing is certain any way frank he said quietly you can t travel i know answered the other man i hope i m not a great coward you know but i really don t think i could and mrs can t be spared added that s clear glanced up at him quickly she held her own opinion as to what had made elizabeth suddenly retire to and become so silent and moody even at this moment of real trouble on her part for she was very fond of elizabeth she could not resist trying to gain some hints regarding past events from his manner and expression looked at her steadily there was something rather hard and unpleasant in his face which made drop her eyes quickly on to the open letter again if you write he continued it will be at least five or six days before you get any answer if you telegraph you can t explain all your reasons for not coming and they may not think you rather indifferent and he paused a minute i really think you d better let me go he added i can catch the evening train through to paris you know i could go right on down to and telegraph you the real state of the case ch xii a sketch in black and white you really are the best fellow in the world said frank his face clearing up considerably i shall be grateful to you whatever s feelings may have been she hid them under a charming smile of relief and gratitude and made no objection all that night and through the next day as he travelled north in noisy trains on the and at crowded stations was haunted with a vision of elizabeth in her white gown with the rough in her hands and the red stain upon her bosom he had a lurking terror of what he might hear at the end of his journey and at the same time a wild hope that somehow he should see her and plead with her and that this time she would yield to his pleading he knew only too well that he loved her desperately and he hoped on still against hope tired haggard and dirty he arrived at quiet little early on the second day after leaving a cab he drove straight over to by the broad high lying main road the rain was falling in a steady and all the distant country was blotted out with impenetrable mist when at length he got to left his cab in the village street and walked alone up to the house he could almost have cried out loud in the intensity of his suspense as he stood waiting on the when the butler opened the door glanced at him sharply there was something odd he fancied about the man s bearing and manner ii tell me be said hoarsely how is mrs stared at him for a moment he seemed hardly to know how to answer don t you know sir he asked slowly haven t you heard no no cried impatiently why if i had heard i shouldn t come here now to ask waited a minute or two before speaking he looked back into the g eat sombre hall behind him and out across the carriage sweep as though he hoped that from somewhere somebody would come and help him at last he said simply the funeral was yesterday at noon sir threw up his two hands and staggered back against the good god he said under his | 32 |
breath she is dead it was all over he would never plead with her and she would never yield to his entreaties the great black curtain had been drawn between them for ever and he would never see her lovely face in this world again far away inside the house a door then heard footsteps in the garden and a tall man with straight clear cut features and deep set keen gray eyes in a long white and shooting boots came slowly round the corner of the rambling old house knew directly that it must be mr from the subtle likeness he bore to elizabeth ch xii a sketch in black and white but mr had aged very much since the afternoon that he rode home in the chill and dusk from his long day s hunting seven months before there were deep lines about his mouth as though he had suffered some heavy sorrow which had eaten into his very heart he walked with his head a little forward and his shoulders somewhat bent leaping about him were the two fox and evidently they had only just been let out and were in a state of frantic joy get down dogs get down said mr can t you be quiet for once in your lives you senseless brutes looking up he caught sight of in the doorway who s that he said sharply what s the matter is the man ill at any other time would probably have resented this somewhat address pretty strongly but now he was too broken down to care to stand upon his dignity i have just heard some news from your servant here he said which has shocked me mr paused and looked at him s personal appearance was naturally not improved by his long and hurried journey but mn saw that whatever his business might be he was undoubtedly a gentleman i come from frank said he ought to have come himself long ago answered mr harshly mrs part ii they are abroad said your letter only reached them the day before yesterday has had an accident he is laid up and it was impossible for him to travel i knew mrs very well he added looking mr full in the face i offered to come here and telegraph the latest news to them but s voice grew he could not manage to say any more mr turned away and gazed down the carriage drive through the dull rain and mist you are too late sir he said i know it answered quietly enough but he felt that mr s words cut right into his very heart all along he knew he had been just that too late it made him nearly mad to think it was possible nay even probable that everything would have ended so differently but for his own selfish and cowardly if he had spoken as he had been greatly tempted to when he met elizabeth in the windy twilight that evening on the his misfortune he feared was pretty much of his own making he had no one to blame for it after all except himself and that reflection added just the bitterest drop to the cup of his sorrow a sort of blind rage took possession of him at the thought of all he had lost he turned suddenly and fiercely upon mr regardless of the strangeness of their relative position but how did it happen he demanded why was she ill what what have you all been doing ch xii a sketch in black and white the two men were still standing on the broad mr had so far made no proposal to to come indoors mr was not in the habit of his own sensations very but he was sensible that there was a certain dreary harmony between his present state of mind and the dull day and then too he felt unwilling to take this stranger into the house still hushed and in a way by the recent presence of death mr found this interview anything but pleasant he desired to cut it as short as possible and he thought it would be easier to do so standing out there in the wet when s ent questions sounded in his ears he turned to the young man swiftly and proudly it seemed to him almost insolent and he felt disposed to make a harsh and cut the interview very short indeed but there was something in the expression of s face that arrested his attention mr looked at him keenly for a minute or two while his eyebrows contracted and a straight line cut itself deep and sharp into his forehead at last he answered quite calmly you tell me you knew my niece well he said very well then you must know that she was not easy to turn from any purpose she took in hand she was a noble woman she was stubborn and determined in carrying through that which she believed to be right bowed he felt that he had spoken and that his companion s courtesy exceeded his deserts mrs part ii my niece mr went on slowly and as though compelling himself to speak was not one of those dainty persons who are content to let their religion walk in silver slippers who themselves on being very much distressed by suffering while they do nothing practical to lessen it my niece elizabeth s virtues were not of the sentimental and hysterical order mr paused a moment looked away and then spoke again with the same quiet determination had a very bad season he said there has been fever here off and on all the summer from the floods and the wet my wife and i wanted her wanted elizabeth to go away and get out of it all but she wouldn t she wouldn t leave us and | 32 |
the people she chose to stay and work she comforted those who were in trouble and nursed the sick with her own hands it was not a very pleasant office he added but she went through with it all and behaved like the gracious and fearless and woman that she was mr drew himself up and looked at with a somewhat bitter smile verily she had her reward he went on she pulled a lot of cases through by sheer pluck and patience she was loved and honoured by all and then one day she got a cold or a chill or something and she herself and mr s voice broke suddenly now you know all i have to tell you he added after a minute or two had nothing to answer he stood ch xii a sketch in black and white ing on the ground lost in a of strange and painful reflections with elizabeth he felt it must be well for she had fulfilled her highest ideal and that not aided by romantic and sympathetic surroundings in an atmosphere charged with the spirit of sacred devotion but hardly in the plain commonplace life of a dull little village a clay soil a wet summer a bad harvest very ordinary stolid men and women ill with fever a certain determination to go her own way call it or heroic as you please with a background of solid comfort secure prosperity calm respectability these were the curiously conditions of elizabeth s thinking of the sweetness of her youthful grace and beauty and of her fate was filled with awe and bewilderment for a time his own personal sorrow was swallowed up in wonder he could not understand it suddenly he turned again to mr who had been watching him in silence what does it all mean he asked with a fierce desperation mr gave himself a sort of shake ah young man who shall answer you that question he said not i nor men far wiser than i am mr was not in the habit of jumping at conclusions he was too stately a person for that but as he stood watching his companion he had arrived at a pretty distinct perception of the situation he came a step nearer and laid his hand quietly on s shoulder b mrs part ii you loved my niece he said in a low voice ah god how i did love her cried passionately stung into vivid consciousness of the magnitude of his own misery and desolation again poor boy poor boy i said mr gently his face was full of compassion yet he could have found it in his heart to envy the younger man the wild energy of his sorrow mr s grief was of a very different complexion it did not strive or cry it was patient and dry eyed but he knew that it would rise early and late take rest that it would make him eat the bread of affliction and drink the waters of bitterness through all the coming days and years till his body should be laid there in the quiet country churchyard and till his soul too should have found its rest at last in the blessed calm of the land that is very far off in losing her i have lost everything said in a despairing voice no no answered mr quickly and almost sternly you have not lost everything your faith is left you as a christian your honour is left you as a gentleman your work of some sort is left you too i suppose or if you have no work it is easy enough to find some there s plenty waiting to be done on every side youve very hard hit just now but remember youve not alone sad things happen every day worse things than have happened to you yes worse things even than death and than knowing you will never hold the woman you love in your arms he paused and then went on kindly ch xii a sketch in black and white after all you know time is on your side you are young yet and all the best of your life may still be before you a man at your age gets over a blow like this with a few ugly while a man of my age just quietly to death mr smiled a little as he said the last few words and stuck out his under lip stood fairly awed before the strength which could smile thus at its own suffering it seemed to pull him together somehow and give him courage to face the world again thank you he said simply the wind which had risen considerably in the course of the last hour and promised to clear the sky of clouds by mid day rushed through the swaying tree tops dashed the drops from the glistening on either side the carriage drive and cried and called round the of the old house there was a little space of silence between the two men who each in his own way had so truly loved one woman then mr raised his hat and standing there uncovered in the driving rain said very calmly and reverently ah my dear little god rest her sweet soul the end r li may a catalogue of books in general literature published by and co street strand london w c for purely l see and co s catalogue see p f a op agricultural analysis cr vo d henry lessons in the science of agricultural practice vo d first principles op i mo if the principles op for use in schools the op the principles of td further steps in the principles op s school on the principles op for the third stage ij the s farm or practice with science cr y td | 32 |
k see brown j man in north west id w early man in britain and his place in the period x james small to henry t romantic love and personal beauty cr i f l and a w and group group marriage and relationship and marriage by j j g the golden bough a study in comparative religion j francis english men of science their nature and bj td inquiries into human faculty and its development z f record of family faculties consisting of forms and directions for entering to f d life history being a personal note book photograph a register of height weight and other observations and a record of to f or with cards of wool for colour vision td natural inheritance m g f the theory and completed by m m a z r studies in ancient history com primitive marriage i f woods the tion op in heathen times by translated by rev f h woods rev a hundred years ago and long before cr e b with illustrations cr td dr edward the history of human marriage with preface by dr a r net w i n sir daniel pre h annals op scotland illustrated r man into um origin of in the old and new world illustrated the right hand left cr r id see also rev j c forty years m a parish cr d net illustrated edition z j net burn robert roman literature in relation to roman art with illustrations cr society s tions of i iii ax each or the set net vol iv half d net an investigation of the principles op architecture by f c illustrated jf js net specimens of ancient egyptian greek and roman vol ii net louis studies op the gods in greece at certain recently cr r net and an essay d g w j d a companion to school illustrated rd ed cr is mi s jane and mrs iu i v b ud r in to s j p a of is social in from to th or vo and studies in illustrated rd cr vo s d see also history p sir c t essays on art and vo td dr s at in the light of recent knowledge by preface by walter leaf d illustrated z r net see voyages travels c catalogue of casts in the museum of classical cambridge crown is d large paper edition small to r white see natural history a s a of roman i mo is see e a history of the cathedral church of wells cr js historical and sketches chiefly italian illustrated by the author cr s d e a on ornamental and building stones of great britain and foreign countries c h the development and character of architecture illustrated f c see j j house architecture with illustrations each vol i architecture vol ii house planning art see also music art at home series by w j b a cr the bedroom and by lady by elizabeth illustrated td music in the house by john th f td the library by with a chapter on english illustrated books by j td the dining room by mrs with illustrations nd is d amateur by walter h and lady illustrated by us d j b an art tour to northern of europe i j burn robert see j papers on art cr s d hon john a of art z ma is cook e t a popular to the national gallery notes collected from die works of mr rd cr half x r large paper edition copies a vo lectures on art and the formation of cr fir p h a s drawing book cr d from nature by h marks r a and the author and cr x d p g thoughts about art new cr f d ti and to net w h and w c a manual of marks on and i mo d hunt w talks about art with a letter from sir j e r a cr y d lectures on art by professor w b k j r a j t and william cr s d sir c t y see f t essays ok art s w the studies in art and poetry cr d pen joseph pen drawing and pen illustrations to d net j a history of miniature art illustrated to d bound in a a description and a catalogue by w g s d rev r st john our club th cr d sir m fine art a sketch of its history practice and application to airy sir g b popular illustrated th d an explanation of the principal in the system nd cr d j f with illustrations cr c h h v an on the theory cr d lo and h the star guide e and j m a of double stars s to the of do b no biography the of illustrated cr vo y d an on the theory and cr va l a on for the use of and schools vo i j d j f r s a of illustrated lessons in new vo d questions on the same by j vo is d the of the sun illustrated vo the of the origin of systems illustrated yo net the of the heavens and the earth illustrated cr vo star gazing past and present ex from notes with the assistance of g m vo au miller r the romance of and cr vo x d popular and maps vo | 32 |
z r francis on a method of by construction of stars by the moon and e for any given place to j charles b behind the tides vo td see see also geography j g school to is physical and political school maps to r d half s d library reference of the world with index to places j id also in monthly parts part i march s net index js d net r h new historical and general history to bible see under p a catalogue of and co s tions vo s net mayor john e b a clue to latin literature cr vo s d f outlines of english literature cr vo ts bi see also history for other subjects of biography see english men of letters english men of action twelve english e a the career of cardinal a vo a f net louis his life and correspondence by elizabeth a cr vo x r earl of fifty years of my life rd cr vo s td alfred the great by thomas cr vo ts ami el the journal translated by mrs ward and cr vo ts dr thomas see by martin cr vo x td and philip van by w j cr vo bacon francis an account of his life and works by e a vo life of william poet and by his daughter leader scott cr s f d of by r e a cr vo st the life and times of st of by j c m a cr vo ts life of the right hon francis late lord of ireland by his son edward with portrait vo life of william with from his poems etc from s own works by alexander a vo aj anne a chapter of english history i a by paul a vo a r sir the of life of by l jacob a vo r by john globe vo see select biography p thomas by charles e cr vo reminiscences a early letters a a x letters i a a x f correspondence between and f wm a character and career of the epoch by r h story vo la see select biography p a story of the year by david cr vo a study by sir daniel cr vo r td from journals and letters of samuel m a by his wife cr vo td a h see literature p life of george by charles a vo select biography p father a journey from to his home in by edward portrait cr vo aj td i o biography bi m t a charles memorial notices by t h g j sir arch and w with portrait cr vo ax tl francis a vo td of by d cr vo los d life of john d d by james d d cr js d life of h v of cr ts life of l cr i r english men of action cr with portraits s d each by colonel sir charles cook tain by walter by w sir w butler by sir a sir henry by a henry v by the rev a j church lord by sir rich temple by thomas by by n sir charles by colonel sir wm by w by david de by g w by h d the king maker by c w by george english men of letters by john cr td each cheap i r td s by w j bacon by dean church by by j a hy john burns by principal by john by john in the press by a w ward by h d by smith by w de by by a w ward by g by by j by william black gray by by henry james by t h johnson by by lamb by rev alfred by by pi of by j milton by mark pope by english of scott by r h by j a by mrs by j a by by dean church by h d swift by by by f w h english twelve cr x d each william the conqueror by a d c l ll d henry ii by mrs j r edward i by f y henry vii by james cardinal by elizabeth by e s by f william iii by h u by john by john by lord by j r set select p life of robert vice admiral od member for york a d by ments r c b vo d edward p f s edward op m p and sir f r s etc francis of by mrs cr j james second bishop of a by t cr see select biography p life of by translated by t w cr ix and general a sketch by h cr i letters of general c g to his sister m a th cr j a life of by w s cr d see collected works p ai of rev francis b d by his son rev t m a cr z r w letters and journal by his wife x rt hon a a biography from papers chiefly by his cousin l with portrait net his letters and op his life by his wipe cr cheap edition z vol x lamb the of charles lamb by rev m y ci m a globe q of by thomas q c with portrait cr vo s cheap edition cr vo is and his work by v z j d see select biography the life of charles j by charles with portraits a s life of son two portraits a popular th thousand cr s professor clerk a life of by l m a and w m a cr d select biography of by w m with portrait nd a x mi all life of edward mi all | 32 |
by his son arthur s d milton the life of john milton by david vol i vol iii iv and v a vol vi with portrait set also classical writers p napoleon i history of by p cr or s life of with introduction and notes by michael b a globe d north m recollections of a happy life the of north ed by mrs j a a ex cr net oxford movement the by dean church g life and letters of john d d missionary bishop by c m a cr also books for the young p m cr j rf select biography sir and personal a cr ts and his friends by mrs a cr see select biography robinson of by j e b mayor a record and a study by w sharp cr lo d rum ford collected works p aa see select biography life of by h by p e cr d life of william earl of by lord in vol i la vol ii vol iii see medicine letters of ed by and w cr js d net a study of by james mar ll d and cr x the life of of bt the bishop of and rev w b d a cr os net and wife and son of of a ed by rev w b d cr x popular cr aj edward a memory ok by j h cr fix victor ii first king of italy by g s cr ward william george ward and the oxford movement by his son ward with portrait vo j a record of by cr x dr william late master of college cambridge an account of his writings with from his literary and scientific correspondence by i m a a a r leaves of a life cr td is d later leaves being further with portrait cr d of george m d by his sister with portrait nd cr s dove cottage s home i select biography after god the lives of and cr j d mrs h some eminent women of our times cr aj d great christians of france st louis and cr fix the new of great men ex cr net j a r the makers of modern italy cr d sketches b cr fix smith three english cr christian singers of germany cr x el m the pupils of st john illustrated cr fix and or recent workers in the mission field o fix a book of gathered from the old histories and written anew x id a book of golden deeds x edition edition globe ax see also natural history f m fishes v ball w au tm ei h tm t r a by j t m a w or foster m and f m t h and martin h n n dr e and disease with rd e in man and the cr t sit john b t is bi w try g j l or ci u e h mental cr w alfred r t ai of of lion rd ci gi lot yo k j b ward h h a or tn g t ii bower f o l ins gray am s i u or sir d the i or the british islands globe it timber and sir john bar oh cr u td leaves with j by f r s daniel m en f by h smith u j plants uses i i smith w g diseases or field garden crops such ab au caused bv s a ud t h a or the north east or ireland cr y td ward h m cr u m e c cr and wins studies on the diseases op beer their causes and the means op preventing them by l translated by frank vo l w and a x on the origin nature and varieties op wine vo ass st also sir ideal cr vo g b the college course op practical j d j p principles op philosophy new edition vo its a system op analysis with by m m p f r s e cr js p f x see q h and tribe a the of the secondary of plants and cr m d w n a course op analysis for students vo f dr w methods op gas analysis translated by l m cr vo td a w the life work of in and philosophic vo r jones francis the college junior course op practical illustrated vo as el questions on vo v j analysis translated by j g vo d f r s the of the sun vo s with problems vo d c b a theory of cr vo r the op illustrated cr vo s e von history of from the earliest times to the present day translated by g d vo i r net w g an text book of cr vo d m m p practical for medical students first m b course vo d m m p and d m elements of outlines of general dr j net william proofs of theory for as ii the elements ov vo as d an introduction to the study or cr vo x d a text book of try vo i f of or an introduction to the study of cr vo x f d sur f r s a of illustrated z mo s lessons in and vo s to e and c a complete on and vo i and ii try vol i the non elements and | 32 |
a s vol ii parts i and ii i j each vol iii the of the and their parts i ii iv and vi parts iii and v i r each sir h e and aj analysis by sir henry e th by the author and a f r s with coloured plates vo t e and w a series of problems with key vo as t e and a w a on illustrated vo in preparation ad a history of theory by h cr vo a christian history of the see p of england the see under p collected works see under literature p see under p see under domestic economy p books see under p and dr g an dictionary translated from the german by r p keep d cr vo j familiar a shakespeare cr vo x s d grove sir george a dictionary of music and see music hole rev c a brief dictionary nd i mo r d a dictionary of the french language cr vo td domestic cm v m w d a and english dictionary or vo f german english part separately w the bible word book nd cr vo d m history of christian names cr vo js d economy nursing lady first lessons in the principles of cooking rd ed is mrs hints to house wives on several points particularly on the preparation of economical and dishes cr vo is middle class book the for the school of vo is d w b household management and z mo is miss the school book z mo is nursing mrs a guide to district nurses cr vo aj d dr j m food for the invalid the the and the cr vo d dr the care of a manual for mothers and nurses is the history and progress of district nursing from its commencement in the year z to the present date cr vo j d recollections of a nurse by e d cr vo j e the service of the poor cr vo elizabeth cr vo j grand cutting out and from the french of e grand z mo is drama the under literature p z it see under p education higher schools and in germany cr vo x reports on schools ed by lord vo y id j r the teacher hints on school management cr vo j d h on teaching th vo td george education its principles and practice as developed by george ed by w jolly vo henry the state in its tion to education cr rf d r school inspection th cr vo d u g notes on m schools and training by permission globe s d j h reform from an point of view rd cr vo is d dr in high schools in with introduction by sir j cr vo rf charles health and education cr vo fix sir john political addresses vo d f d learning and working cr vo s d record of and se education crown vo j net no i z rev edward education and school nd cr vo s the conflict of studies vo s td alexander t and a w applied part ii stress cr vo s d j b determination of forces in illustrated vo j j h applied an introduction to the theory of and machines nd vo z s j h and t h lessons in applied vo d a b w the of machinery cr vo s d c h of the steam engine and other heat engines vo s g an on heat in relation to steam and thb steam engine illustrated cr vo s d j m steam design for the use of mechanical students and illustrated vo c m a history of thb st louis bridge to a s net young e w simple practical methods of calculating strains on arches and js d english citizen series see politics english men of action see biography english men of letters see biography english twelve see biography art essays see under literature p y art v ee philosophy p history fathers the see under p fiction prose see under literature p see also field r and thomas f i the formal garden in england illustrated ex cr vo net lai ge paper edition vo i net bright h a the english flower cr vo y a year in a garden cr vo rf e villa a for amateur and practical cr vo f hope j notes and thoughts on gardens and cr vo see also h f geography of india and globe a d c b a reader and companion to the cr a a class book of geography with coloured maps m d x g m and a geography of the british colonies w a maps and map drawing vo is sir the teaching of geography a practical for the use of globe geography of the british is green j r and a s a short geography of the british islands y d grove sir george a of geography maps s h manual of ancient geography cr j mill h r class book of general geography cr d geography of europe with illustrations globe x gen r lectures on geography cr rf h f a of classical geography and w t and of s coal its history and its uses by green and s d sir j w the of new and prince edward island or th x sir a of illustrated i mo is class book of | 32 |
illustrated cr s d outlines of field with numerous y d sir a sketches at home and abroad text book of illustrated and th thousand a r the scenery of scotland viewed in connection with its physical and cr s d e a on ornamental and building stones of great britain and foreign countries x s notes on thb and bone of wills the theory of thb of by m le wills q c s d of the rock making by h by j p a r g h elements of cr globe see literature p ao see golden treasury series see literature p ao grammar see health see heat see under p see see also biography annals of our time a of events social and political home and foreign by joseph vol june s to th vol ii a th to june a th x also vol ii in q parts part i z to march r d part ii march to july s d part iii july rd to june a th s vol iii by h h part i june th s to th d r d part ii is d is t the second war by thomas d d ed by w t m a with maps c r s w t a history op the early roman empire cr in re mrs stories from the history of rome s d john what does history teach globe ax d james m p the holy roman empire cr js edition history of england for globe see politics bury j b a history of the roman empire to a d a vo a dr d manual of history and literature m ts e k va vi i i g n v history hi t cm i a english twelve see biography john the critical period in american history cr vo d the of new england or the in its relations to civil and religious liberty cr vo js d the american revolution a cr vo the discovery of america cr vo i j history of thb including their manners customs religion and present position with illustrations e a history of the cathedral church of wells cr vo old english history with coloured maps th vo historical essays first series th vo s d second series rd with additional essays vo d third series vo fourth series vo s d the growth of the english constitution from the earliest times th cr comparative politics lectures at the royal institution to which is added the unity of history vo subject and neighbour lands of illustrated cr vo los d english towns and districts a series of addresses and essays x the office of the historical professor cr and what are they cr vo ar greater greece and greater britain george washington the of england with an on imperial cr d the methods of historical study eight lectures at oxford d the chief periods of european history with essay on greek cities under roman rule four oxford lectures b fifty years of european history conquest in and britain paul see biography h de b history of commerce in europe globe td green john richard a short history of the english people new z th thousand cr m also in parts with analysis each part i ii iii iv b illustrated edition in parts is each net part i b z history of the english people in z f each the making of england x the conquest of england with maps and portrait in english history in parts is d each green s thb in thb z th vou guest dr e maps a s guest m j lectures on the of england cr vo s history by richard green is each europe by e a m a greece by c a m a rome by bishop france by m historical course for schools ed by a d c l general sketch of european by e a maps d history of england by son coloured mi s d history of scotland by s history of italy by the rev w hunt m a with colour ms d history of germany by james m a y history of america by j a with maps d history of european colonies by e j m a maps d history of france by m maps f d hole rev c of the kings of england and on a sheet t a history of the union of great britain and ireland vo d two chapters of irish history x the irish parliament of james ii a the alleged of the treaty of s r c modern greece two lectures crown a c tables of ancient history the nations around cr d charles the roman and the cr d historical lectures and essays cr d r h see alfred o the growth of thb power of the cr ss d sir a short man the history of india cr the world s history cr vo it easy introduction to the history of india cr is d history of england cr vo d easy introduction to the history and geography of cr is d h c a history of college illustrated a history of the university of oxford from the earliest times to the year x s ii y j p social s h cr vo to c lips and thought from thb to thb roman con cr vo d world under roman to cr d in history crown d it a r see select t m a summary of modern translated by m c m vo r d er j b | 32 |
bridge in the century e england under the f kings in a it mrs m o w the makers d their city cr edition de j net makers op con painters and men of letters k cr l her saints and poets illustrated id r s a cr its history and hope if large paper edition c history globe dr ve sir f history op op england l s i n francis and library edition illustrated with i and maps each collected works op francis in popular edition in x td each or complete il iy d france in the new world in north america and the discovery op eat west i vol the vol the old in canada louis xiv i vol count and new france under louis vol and he conspiracy op it l a history op the the at the recall op cr j e historical cr ist series r d es f a h the ancient em the east cr s j r lectures and d op england two of lectures cr d above cr is e m and c m an history in a op historical from r ai a rd s each e s a school history op rome cr sir j thb story op and the op sir cr x x c w a analysis op english history based on green s short history of the english people cr d t f analysis op english history sir cr s j of indian history and european college history op india and european cr y ax d a short history of india with maps cr z x india under british rule i s d wood rev e g the power of the church x d english history each vol i from to edward ii vol thb wars in france vol the wars of the roses vol times vol england and spain vol forty years op rule vol the rebellion and restoration z s the century cr ix d ix the story op the christians and in spain x d see j first lessons on health a a manual of public health s net j h water supply cr x d dr w h the treatment and op rd by the author and by louis c m d z x j the op bread cr x charles and social lectures cr x d health and education cr x gas and how to keep it out op houses cr ix d dr b w a city op health cr ix the future of cr on cr un v ic illustrated law with sir de cover from e c engraved by j d f english illustrated magazine the s published in hon the stalk by r f p i h to lu m s i mn bv xi thb of jew edition with br by ct vo i also with n h rd e de n wn old christ j by r n edges l history charles th books the the sm the on modem cr y id h c sm rev i p and a e j voyages travels l a bu h ih en and insects with prose folk su d mt old songs with drawings by a i relics of the royal of by ia a i ll d add fu z large paper edition i on paper td four oh he m m m in from vo e studies i te by a v c by mrs cr s cherry r r sh citizen series the r t e the treaty r o w inn the law hi u m the nature or positive law i a id f w of a d i i cr n john g private law a the ti sir bait the laws cr j w cr g land laws earl oo ef literature sir j a di of the law of evidence cr vo a of the criminal law crimes and th d vo i s a of the law of criminal in by sir j f and ll m vo i s td a history of the criminal law of england j a general view of the criminal law of england and j k law and relations cr vo s s e facts and globe d see literature p life boat rev john storm warriors or life boat work on the sands cr d richard history of the life boat and its work cr light see under p history and of y etc poetry and the drama poetical and prose fiction collected essays lectures letters miscellaneous history and criticism of see also essays p m see essays p a a of english literature is large paper edition js d a history of early english literature classical writers bv john richard green is d each by butcher m a by by the rev w w m a milton by a by l m a by messrs church and by m a english men of letters see biography history of english literature in cr early english literature by m a in preparation literature by george js d century literature z o s by m a js the modern period by in preparation r c a op greek literature the from to r johnson s lives of the poets milton pope swift and gray with s life of johnson ed by m cr f charles literary and general lectures cr d j p | 32 |
a history of classical greek literature cr vol i the poets with an on by in parts vol the prose writers in parts r d each see works p j and w s a short history of english literature globe in preparation mrs m o w the literary history of england in the end of the and beginning of the th century ij f outlines of english literature cr ward a w a history of english dramatic literature to the death of queen anne a s a op roman literature etc a on by mary cr j on the of chiefly based on the of da by the hon w w m a with an introduction by dean church cr dictionary s the problem of the poems by w d i an inquiry into the time and place of by the rt hon w e cr of by the same is of study together with an essay on the points of contact between the and the text by the same cr s d companion to the for english readers by w leaf d in studies literary and historical in the of by a w d ss d shakespeare shakespeare a of by is a grammar by rev e a s a shakespeare manual by rev f g d r french a selection from the lives in north s which illustrate shakespeare s plays by rev w w m a cr s short studies op shakespeare s plots by cr a t ao literature ck a companion to in by elizabeth r globe va s a of papers read to the society by w knight cr vo d poetry and tbe drama t thb sisters tragedy with other and dramatic vo y d net an ancient city and other poems vo f a and cr vo s the complete poetical works new edition cr vo tt d each vol x early poems narrative poems and vol and poems vol dramatic and later poems complete poetical works i vol cr vo d selected poems i mo d poetical works new collected edition cr vo vol i the tower of vol etc vol prince vol the human tragedy vol poems vol narrative poems in song cr vo at the gate of thb and other poems cr vo s s child cr to d rome or death cr to the golden age cr vo the season cr vo love s and other poems cr vo s english cr vo y d lee a fo c s le vo d john of song from a happy life cr vo d the wise men of greece in a series of dramatic cr vo s translated into verse cr vo see biography a of the a love drama cr vo s poems globe brown t e the witch and other poems cr vo js d dean poems ex vo is d burns the poetical works with a by alexander smith in see also globe library p butler samuel by alfred vo part i y d parts ii and iii d see golden treasury p ao select plays by cr x r g s a century of em with illustrations by lady small to s a a h poems cr vo js ed poetical and dramatic works s d also an edition on large paper a i j d and by f s f s fuller as d see globe library p golden treasury series p mrs poems s sir f h the return of thb guards and other poems cr js d see globe library p see collected works p brother s manuscript and other poems s in the a of poems ss and other poems y d edward the of cr los d fo including lee and other poems cr js d songs in minor keys by c c mrs edward nd s f j le arthur from the in the british museum d r and chiefly from the greek j d see the fox into english verse by a d cr js d the traveller and thb deserted village with introduction and notes by arthur b a is is d the traveller separately l is by j w cr a see also globe library p david king james i an historical tragedy globe gray poems with introduction and by j ll d is is d see also collected works p hall ward s illustrated books a the march of man and other poems d net see golden treasury p autumn a book of s i d and and in the press poetry and the drama jones h a saints and vo y d see golden treasury series p charles poems cr vo j d pocket edition xx edition a cr vo lamb see collected works p x i see golden treasury series p golden treasury series p complete works r td with introduction by thomas and portrait cr s d and cr see also collected works p f sketches of rural life poems globe s george a reading of earth poems and of the joy of earth and poems of tragic cr s modern love ex milton poetical works with and notes by david m a j uniform with the cambridge shakespeare by x edition by globe d paradise lost books z and by michael b a is w d books i and separately xx d each ix each l ii etc by wm bell m a ix od xx d com us by the same ix d ix by h | 32 |
m m a x xx in the garden of dreams and cr x c e stray leaves poems th x d e the a poem x d poems x d the defence of rome and other poems the judgment of and other poems x d f w h the renewal of youth and other poems cr js d st paul a poem s d hon mrs the lady of la th x d f t original hymns rd xx d poems visions of england cr js d w g a vision of life semblance and reality cr x net echoes from and other poems cr x d pope see globe library p h d poems and w c poems by e m cr x net poems new collected edition globe d a and other poems x scott the lay of the last and the lady of the lake by f t ix the lay of the last by g h m a and e h b a globe x xx od i hi and iv vl ix each xx each by michael b a x x d and the lord of the by f t xx the lady of the lake by g h m a x d x by michael b a x d see also globe library p and other poems and ed by f t cr x shakespeare the works of william shakespeare cambridge edition new and edition by w m a d each vol i victoria edition in comb dies histories cr x each the tempest with introduction and notes by k xx ix td much about nothing x xx a night s dream xx xx d the merchant of xx xx td as you like it xx xx d twelfth night xx xx d the winter s tale x king john ix xx d richard ii ix henry v xx xx rf richard iii by c h m a x d x by k as td x xx xx d xx xx d hamlet x xx king xx xx d x xx and x x td x see also globe library p golden treasury series p complete poetical works by portrait cr js see golden treasury p s v v ct vo y i literature poetry and the continued smith c vo smith poems globe vo see globe library p j b once and other poems cr vo js d spanish and italian folk songs i mo i s arthur days and nights globe vo s lord complete works new and enlarged edition with portrait cr vo j d school edition in four parts cr vo ax each poetical works pocket edition z mo edges js td net works library edition in globe vo j each each volume may be had separately poems a op the king the princess and and in and other poems queen mary and and other plays works edition on paper in supplied in sets only j td early poems and other poems of the king the princess and and in queen mary and and other poems works miniature edition in the poetical works in a box j the dramatic works in a box los d of vo poems ds and other poems td the princess d the holy and other poems d and other poems a drama s queen mary a drama s the cup and the s and other poems s hall sixty years after etc x and other poems s the robin hood and maid s royal edition i vol vo its the birthday book by i mo j d the brook with illustrations by a mo d songs from s writings square vo s d from with introduction and notes by f j m a and w t m a globe vo d by w t m a globe vo s field by w t m a globe vo ns the coming of arthur and the arthur t g vo j the princess by p m m a globe vo j d and by g c m a in the press for the young by i mo ts net large paper d gilt edges s d the of greece and cr yo s d and other poems cr t d hon see books after thoughts poems cr vo j d charles old and new vo s d r st john free field chiefly descriptive vo d battle and after concerning thomas guards and other verses vo ward samuel vo s w poems vo complete poetical works of john with portrait i mo s d see also collected works wills w g cr vo wood the of thb and other poems globe vo thomas my beautiful lady rd vo cr vo d cr vo s complete poetical works edition with an introduction by john and portrait cr vo js d the vo paper edition vo los d see also golden treasury series p poetical and see also golden treasury series p books for the young p j w longer english poems with notes and and an introduction on the teaching of english vo d george england s cr vo d martin f see books for the young p r o and d three of english poetry being from to globe vo d f t the treasury of the best songs and poems in the english language large t cr vo los d see also golden treasury series p books for thb young p ward t h english poets with critical by various writers and a general introduction by by t h ward m | 32 |
a nd cr vo d each vol i to ii ben to iii to iv to prose fiction woods m a a first book vo s d a second poetry book parts vo d each complete d a third poetry book vo s d words from the poets and e it i mo is prose d or the reminiscences of a merchant the greek war of independence translated by j cr vo js td b translated by cr vo l nt cr vo j d each robbery under arms a story of life and adventure in the bush and in the of the s right the s dream a side saxon a cr vo f h s g vo and that o s illustrated cr vo d of a lover of the cr vo a family affair cr vo d living or dead cr vo v the fall of vo for god and gold cr vo the globe vo i j uniform edition cr vo j d each olive the also globe vo s husband also globe vo or the head of the family two marriages also globe vo the laurel bush my mother and i miss a romance king arthur not a love story f uniform cr vo j td each mr a tale of modem india dr a roman singer a tale of a lonely parish s paul with the a maker s a tale of cr vo f the witch of td the three xx td sir h s the a cr vo x the cr vo i and cr td edition ready ready may june july au the cr vo w translated by m a c e cr vo td day rev lai peasant life cr vo x folk tales of cr vo s d see globe library p ao treasury series p ao an american novel cr vo j d charles uniform cr vo f td each the papers twist martin the old curiosity shop the papers of the club by c cr vo s e a cr vo ts and jack globe vo study of a girl rd cr vo s dr george the s wife by c bell cr only a word translated by bell cr d the author cr x d de cr d g a novel a a novel globe the head of globe ar globe a romance cr if friends in council the author cr s john w ne ra a tale of ancient rome cr s harbour bar the cr s hardy arthur but yet a woman a novel cr d the wind of destiny la hardy thomas the cr d tales cr d cr d the of marsh and other tales cr s d a first family of a globe s m p the author m p globe s thb hon miss s and the etc globe vo i literature prose mary a treason a story of the war of independence cr vo thomas tom brown s school days by an old boy treasury edition d uniform edition y a people s edition ax people s edition uniform with vo d tom brown at oxford cr vo the of the white horse and the cr vo a washington see illustrated books p g vo as james henry the a novel cr vo s z mo j miller and other stories cr vo s globe vo the american cr vo i mo s cr vo vo s i mo the of the future and other tales cr vo s globe vo as washington square the globe vo the portrait of a lady cr vo s i mo s stories revived in two series cr vo s each the cr vo novels and tales pocket edition i mo s each volume confidence i vol the siege of london madame i vol an episode the the point of view i vol miller a study four meetings s marriage ben i vol the of the future a bundle of letters the of a man of fifty i vol tales of three cities cr vo s d the princess cr vo dr globe vo j the cr vo the papers the modern warning cr vo a london life cr vo j d the tragic muse cr vo d the lesson of the master and other stories cr vo s s home cr vo j d globe vo s cr vo s d a york and a rose cr vo d r castle cr vo y d a doubting heart cr vo d p of the irish cr vo d es globe vo each westward ho two years ago a x vol the complete edition cr vo j d each westward ho with a portrait two years ago thb edition vo rf each westward ho two years ago the wake plain tales from the hills cr vo s the light that failed cr vo s life s being stories of own people cr vo s philip the new judgment of paris globe vo lee margaret faithful and cr vo y d a cr vo little pilgrim in the unseen a th thousand cr vo j d little pilgrim in the unseen a author of the land of darkness cr vo j of the ring of a romance cr vo s d and other stories of peasant life in the north o vo d k s vo the story of cr vo d mrs a sketch in black and white cr vo j d sir globe library | 32 |
large paper edition sha s s with by p thb and hooks ih of by m a ir u i a gray bv in vol globe vol i ii iii iv notes oh and p g tub george j helps sir large paper ed i by f j m a lord essays la ed lady n r h essays on some of tub n guides of english thought ih i literary ii t h lay and j james henry poets no new edition cr d portraits of places cr ji w partial portraits cr j by globe r ear or the v sermons oh nation i of and other iv v letters newly with talks shakespeare a globe edition globe u e ray thb any i i d s n on the aim il miscellaneous vo lodge the or science cr m cr ts i iv latest says cr rt sir john bait lectures and literature medicine literature collected works essays lectures letters rt hon sir john thb pleasures of life new edition thousand is d is library edition y td part ii rs id i library j complete in i vol d rev roman or studies in rome and its neighbourhood globe vo s j p the principles of the art of conversation cr s d david and other essays cr vo f d the friendship of books and other lectures cr vo d works collected in ii globe vo each i vol a and the on com promise i vol i vol studies in literature i vol f w h essays cr vo each i classical ii modern e s essays at home and elsewhere cr vo s t l the duke and the scholar and other essays vo js d college essays and ad dresses by professors and of the college vo x r w the studies in art and poetry th ed cr vo d imaginary portraits cr vo s with an essay on style nd cr vo d the cr x s j a the mystery of matter and other essays cr vo s sir f oxford lectures and other vo m e pictures of cottage life in the west of england nd ed cr vo d memories cr vo s a o on the art of poetry cr vo d rum ford complete works of count rum ford by g portrait vo i r d science lectures at south ken cr vo x each george w london letters and some others vo j sir james f two series vo r each edward thoughts on life science nd cr vo js d bishop s p dr george cr vo bs d the five of knowledge tb vo u d thb complete works cr vo vol i narrative and ii poems of nature poems and religious iii anti slavery poems songs or labour and reform iv personal poems occasional poems the om the beach with the poems of h and an containing early and verses v smith s journal tales and sketches vi ld portraits and modern sketches personal sketches and historical papers vii th conflict with slavery politics and reform the inner life criticism see under philosophy p s magazines under p a history ot ball w w r a short account of the history of cr vol d and problems cr vo js net se also domestic economy nursing sir h w the army school address at hospital dr t on the of the vo dr lectures on medicine vo los d c a and i r w in f net richard f r c s thk causes and treatment of of the cr vo on especially of ths and root of the neck y d h on from brain disease in its common forms cr vo lor d t h on colour blind ness cr vo brain a journal of for the society of london a de vo part i in i to xii yo each cloth covers for binding s each dr t a text book of and rd vo j or in d ment i j of their consequences and treatment vo d and or medicine past and present cr vo s tables of a companion to the museum vo lectures on the tion between constitution and action being an to modem then military art and history dr the of the insane cr vo j r f c s a practical on diseases op the eye vo i f good and bad cr vo modern operations for vo s j in east africa vo george lectures on its causes varieties and treatment cr d f a and d a of the principal of vegetable origin met with in great britain and india vo x dr j the s of treatment or the principles of s the of agents and what it teaches cr vo s food for the invalid the the and the and cr vo d fox dr on the artificial production of in the lower animals with plates to d on the treatment of as illustrated in acute by means of the external application of cold vo m w h lessons on pre and the art of new edition x mo y d d j on the of and allied of the human vo d a text book of and practical illustrated vol i vo j daniel science papers chiefly and vo j dr e and disease an introduction into the study of specific cr vo s the | 32 |
ts i js d each cloth covers for binding is each the journal of see the see medicine record of and se education see education p american journal of the by l d ch no american tion transactions of i xx j d per vol net except xv and xx which are s d net university studies in classical by i w g hale and b i i the c t at their history and functions part i critical is net part ii by w g hale d net ii and the scope op its application in language by b i is d net p a short manual of for classical students cr vo journal of sacred and vo i j each journal of new series by w a m a i m a and h m a r d each no half yearly dr l historical outlines of english ex s rev richard ll d of english grammar i mo is lessons in historical english grammar i mo d historical outlines of english extra vo s r and h c english grammar exercises i mo is t l the old and middle english globe vo the new english a cr john a of is e french roots and families globe vo s words and places th maps globe vo vo x and a study of the vo j exercises on s of english grammar z mo is c m history of christian names new cr d philosophy and and right hon a j a defence of philosophic doubt first principle of moral science cr s d modern or the of and mill examined and compared cr s d modern physical and the doctrine of including aa examination of mr s first principles cr s h a of moral philosophy cr s john outlines of philosophy based on the doctrine of rev thomas morality an essay in cr father thomas the of the school in s i and ii each vol iii part i s critical philosophy for english readers by j p d d and t h b d cr vol i the of reason explained and defended js d vol ii the translated with notes and s of pure reason by translated by f with introduction by each sold separately vol i historical introduction by etc vol ii of pure reason of judgment by j h in the press f d moral and philosophy rev dr james the method of the divine government physical and moral d the supernatural in relation to the natural cr d the of the mind d an examination of mr j s mill s philosophy s d christianity and lectures on natural and cr d the philosophy from hut to critical s philosophy v x o v w r and c rev dr j first and truths being a on vo the prevailing types of philosophy can they reach reality vo d david recent british philosophy rd cr vo henry the methods op th a to the second edition containing all the important additions and alterations in the fourth edition vo s outlines of the history of for english readers cr x d w t and common sense vo d logic george the analysis of logic vo ss the game of logic cr y net w a of logic is lessons in logic and d studies in logic and cr s the principles of science on logic and scientific method cr i s d pure logic and other minor works by r m a and a los d q n studies and exercises in formal logic nd cr los d rev dr the laws of thought a text book of formal logic cr ray p k a text book of logic th globe d rev john the logic of chance nd cr s d logic cr d the principles of or logic j m of senses and intellect vo f feeling and will i f d h the relations of mind and brain w k seeing and thinking cr y d h outlines of translated by m e cr s james william the principles of net text book of cr f net rev robert the elements of the of rd cr d rev dr cr i the powers s d ii the motive powers s d the vo dr henry the of mind cr d the of mind body and mind cr d j j habit and nd illustrated i x r the of cr or natural philosophy general and heat light and sound general dr thomas the scientific papers of the late with a by and brown i r j the c g s system of with tables of physical new globe c for public schools globe rev of thk earth s crust nd am d e the forces of nature a popular introduction to the study of physical phenomena if the of physical forces with plates and illustrations xx scientific papers tke press a b how to draw a straight line cr d b questions and examples in sound light heat and s a se of natural science d rev g in science a series of popular lectures on scientific subjects d a of illustrated is lessons in illustrated d questions by t h x and w w lessons in practical illustrated general physical processes cr dr p g lectures on recent advances in physical rd cr sir wm popular and addresses vol i constitution of matter cr d and an introduction to cr b d day r e | 32 |
electric light x gray the theory and practice of absolute in and cr vol i j d absolute in and ss d a and a popular translated and by p vo d lodge modern views op cr vo dr d t c a century of cr vo and w w lessons in practical cr illustrated and d practical for schools g vo and l p lessons in and illustrated vo d sir wm papers on and vo h h examples on heat and cr vo d heat light and sound airy sir g b on sound and cr vo reflections on the motive power of heat and on machines fitted to develop that power from the french of n l s car not by r h ll d cr vo d r the mechanical theory of heat translated by w r cr vo d rev n m and subjects connected with them cr js d sunshine illustrated cr vo jones d e heat light and sound globe ar d a m sound a series of simple experiments cr vo y d a m and c light a series of simple experiments illustrated cr s d s a on th cr td c h of the steam engine and other heat engines i s j steam an t the theory of light illustrated net the theory of heat lord theory of sound vol i lay vol ii lar d g an on heat in relation to steam and thb engine cr id w of light illustrated cr y d and w w lessons in practical cr illustrated heat and sound practical for schools g vo light and sound sir g on light the lectures cr rf stone w h lessons on sound illustrated d p g heat with illustrations cr ts sound and music and cr bj rf h h see light a course of cr s d and the skies and weather of translated by e m a cr j d h f the of physical geography for the use of indian schools cr d a practical guide to the and weather of india and and the storms of indian seas z f d w a popular on the winds rev of thb earth s crust nd i j francis or methods of the weather to sir a of physical geography illustrated x lessons in physical geography illustrated d questions on the same is h f t illustrated cr j outlines of the movements of the earth illustrated cr ij td r and white wm report on the east earthquake of april nd w a manual of practical cr td foster michael a text book of illustrated th part i book i blood the of movement the part ii book ii the of action with their respective td part iii book iii the central nervous system part iv book iii the senses and some special muscular book iv the and of td a of i foster m and o n a course of practical and cr td bow no no n vl political politics continued m the human foot the human hand illustrated vo j d h lessons in vo j d questions x mo js d st george lessons in vo j d q bell the of the circulation in plants in the lower animals and in man vo im dr photographs in history normal and to if d poetry see under literature p political economy c f public capital and interest by w smart vo f net the positive theory of by the same i f net g m the question vo j net and his work vo j e some leading principles of political economy newly vo j r the character and logical method of political economy cr vo c b speculations from political economy cr vo v co operation in the united states history of by h b vo i r dictionary of political a by various writers ed r h i j net part i july journal the the journal of the british association by f y published vo part i april z oi vol cloth covers for binding volumes if each the journal of vol ii parts ii iii iv j td each vol iii parts j each vol iv parts f each manual of political economy th cr vo an of the above by c a waters cr vo free trade and protection th cr vo y d mrs h political for with questions th i mo d first lessons in business mat by a banker s daughter nd i mo n p profit sharing between employer and cr d rt hon george j reports and speeches on local vo guide to the in matters relating to pro and vo d george wealth and progress cr s hon s the pound and england s policy since the restoration vo george the of capital and labour cr vo s d w a of political economy i mo the theory ok political economy rd ed d in and by h s fox well j n the scope and method of political economy cr net the land question d alfred principles of vol i x s d net elements of of industry d martin the history of s and of marine in great britain price l l f r its advantages methods and difficulties j henry the principles of political economy and smart w an introduction to | 32 |
the theory of value cr net francis a first lessons in political economy cr a brief text book of political economy cr dr d political economy d the wages question cr d net money new cr d net money in its relation to trade and industry cr js d land and its rent d a r bad times an essay cr s d h the of science i elements of the theory of value or worth s d politics see also history p sir f o and c the z r baker sir samuel w the question f bath of observations on affairs cr d bright john speeches on questions of public policy by j e with portrait popular edition public addresses by j e t m p the american cr letters tracts and speeches on irish affairs with preface cr fir reflections on the french revolution ed by f g globe vow social economy j e political essays vo s d the slave power vo s d richard speeches on questions of public policy ed by j bright and j e g vo a v letters on cr d rt hon greater britain th cr vo ts problems of greater britain maps rd cr i r d a system of politics vo j rt hon e grant political and literary vo td english citizen the his rights and ed by henry c b cr vo d each the punishment and of crime by col sir du cane local government by m d colonies and part i india by j s cotton m a ii the colonies by e j the state in its relation to education by henry c b the state and the church by hon arthur m p the state in its relation to trade by sir t h the poor law by the rev t w the state in relation to labour by w justice and police by f w the national by colonel r a the press the land laws by sir f nd central government by h d the and the by foreign relations by s the national national debt taxes and by a j henry speeches on some current vo free trade and protection th cr vo d henry and mrs h essays and lectures on political and social subjects vo john american ideas viewed from the stand point of universal history cr vo civil government in the united states considered with some reference to its origin cr vo s d k a and what are they th cr vo ij comparative politics and the unity of history vo thb growth of the english constitution th cr vo george or a defence of die principle of a national church vo s the coming cr vo ts hill d children op thb state ed by cr c hill our common land and other essays vo j d ho inland t e the treaty relations of russia and turkey from to cr vo a edward the government of victoria vo j h the platform its rise and vo net o r i s collected works sir j see collected works john the land question vo s d f d the house of illustrations of its history and practice cr vo m d w essays on eastern questions vo los td g r imperial cr sir f introduction to the history of the science of politics cr vo a d leading cases lone into english crown vo d practical politics vo j e t and political opinion vo td gas popular progress in england vo sir charles new views on ireland cr vo ar d the commission the opening speech for the defence vo d popular edition is henry the elements of politics vo j net smith can ad a and the question vo s net s year book the su r and british cr vo dr w t a plea for peasant new cr vo rf indian public works and indian topics cr vo rf f the indian question cr td sir m egypt and the egyptian question vo under philosophy p art social economy c a picture of cr vo cheap vo df h and mrs h su politics hill homes of the london poor cr vo xx t h social diseases and worse letters to the times cr net w methods m v on ir p baker sir w moss sir j e x tiu cr im m j i thb f cr tj rf ow bible f by rev y rev a j rt y m by i a cl i s r n r i d m h ii each i i old ii ne t i ni in iii th a ci ss ki ik of old h s t a a t m or his a s it f hy s or old till u tim thk old tu f d in i r cr h e c vo j of h a m by l t i thk new by f d vol a to t h on by pi d u x fo ie n by p ct vo li new i the greek the tc ant rs ad i i u tu rf h vol i te v ii t the the common tradition of the in the text of the version by rev e a and w g cr vo j td an of the common matter of the by w g printed in colours in six parts and to part i a parts ii and | 32 |
vo ts td net books lady fellowship letters addressed to my sister cr vo s d iv printed in borders after and other old masters containing dances of death acts of mercy etc cr vo s d charles out of the deep words for the sorrowful from the writings of charles vo f d daily thoughts selected from the writings of charles by his wife cr vo dr from death to life fragments of teaching to a village congregation e t by his wife vo j d rev a manual of instruction for confirmation and first communion with prayers and mo s the hour of sorrow or the office for the burial of the dead mo s f d lessons of hope from the works of f d selected by rev j ll m a cr vo rays of sunlight for dark days with a preface by very rev c j d d new edition i mo d service rev j prayers for public worship cr vo d the worship of god and among men by and others vo d hon lady links and nd cr vo dr rt rev bishop thoughts on revelation and life the writings of bishop by rev s cr francis m in the and yellow leaf thoughts and recollections for old and young globe vo y d the sermons lectures etc the fathers james the fathers a critical account of their genuine writings and of their doctrines nd cr vo js td works of the greek and latin fathers the fathers with notes and by bishop part i st of rome vo j part ii st to st nd vo j the fathers with short greek text and english translation by same s the of st its date and with greek text latin version translation and by rev w cr vo a s a christian hymns g vo j net christian hymns book of chapel vo s d net service book vo net f t original hymns rd i mo d earl oo the book of praise i mo d net a chiefly from the book of praise a royal mo limp d b i mo larger type c fine paper with music selected and composed by john i mo td woods miss m a hymns for school worship i mo d sermons lectures addresses and essays f e scientific cr vo f d the way out of or the philosophy of free religion cr vo is td rev e a cambridge sermons vo s oxford sermons vo d a discussion of cardinal s essay on miracles cr vo d cr net sermons preached in the temple church vo s alexander w bishop of deny and thb leading ideas of the new cr vo s rev edward sermons preface and by bishop cr dr bishop first words in sermons cr vo on some duties preaching etc with a preface by very rev c j d d d ar d the central teaching op christ cr in the press baker q f thb op on va ss the of s and its to law op for cr yo as d rev w sermons cr vo thomas the difficulties of belief in connection with the creation and the fall and judgment nd cr justification and a review cr s supernatural revelation or first principles of moral b s a short sermons crown dr bishop ihe candle of the lord and other sermons cr s sermons preached in english churches cr dr twenty sermons cr dr cr d the light of the world cr s d t the bible and science illustrated cr d butler sermons and r second series of sermons js letters on lor d butler rev sermons preached in chapel d rev the tions of science and religion cr j the of our lord cr dr dr john m the na ture of the cr dr reminiscences and reflections by his son m a cr js d thoughts on revelation cr responsibility for the gift of eternal life from sermons preached cr s edward white oo boy life its trial its strength its fulness sundays in college b cr s the seven gifts address cr dr christ and his times second address cr s a pastoral letter to the of carpenter w truth in tale addresses chiefly to children cr r d the permanent elements of religion nd cr s j concerning the being and attributes of god church dean human life and its conditions cr dr the gifts of and other sermons and letters cr d discipline of the christian character and other sermons cr vo f d advent sermons i cr vo d village sermons r clergyman s self examination concerning the creed u sermons and continued jo i b p religion and cr vo d cotton bishop sermons preached to english in india cr js d rev w christian with special reference to india cr vo rev g h the scientific obstacles to belief the lecture cr ts rev j the gospel and modern life vo dr social questions from the point of view of christian cr against superstition vo j d the christian calling j order and growth as involved in the spiritual constitution of human society cr vo d confirmation and the lord s supper addresses i u rev j w and cr vo dr introduction to the study of cr vo ss a survey of the life and work of christ globe vo dr rev john the manhood and its lessons for busy lives cr vo dr faith and conduct an essay on religion cr js id ven works edition | 32 |
cr vo m each monthly from december after god eternal hope westminster abbey sermons the fall of man and other sermons the witness of history to christ lectures the silence and voices of sermons in the days of thy youth college sermons workers five lectures or the of the world mercy and judgment sermons and addresses delivered in america the history of interpretation lectures vo john man s destiny viewed in the light op his origin cr vo v forces rev the voice of g in ths cr vo x rev t w l a new between and constitution or ni or vo f by w a cr vo t ham john on truth and error cr vo j arthur s seat or the church of the cr vo dr above and around thoughts on god and man i mo s d christ and other masters th cr vo d hare charles the mission of the new edition by dean cr vn js d the victory of faith dean with notices by dean cr ts d father thomas thb of the school i and il vo i j each vol iii part i rev g c sermons with a by c m f r h see collected works p worth rev j r t sermons preached in a college chapel cr x jacob rev j a building in and other sermons x james rev the clergyman and his work cr f rev g e and other sermons d rev dr the elder son and other sermons cr f the of prayer cr rev s h the light of asia and the light of the world cr js d charles see works p ai the divine library of the old testament cr j net rev d d ten ham college sermons cr x a o the growth of the power of the cr el bishop leaders in thk northern church sermons cr r addresses and counsels to clergy cr dr cambridge sermons cr sermons preached in st paul s cathedral cr vo s special occasions r a charge delivered to the clergy of the of s essays on the work entitled supernatural religion lor d on a fresh of the english new testament cr d a i on the age ii miscellaneous in the rev a sermons at fi el second series th ed el third series th ed week evening tb is h the secret op r s r r tl sermons lectures etc rev bible teach in nature th globe vo s the true vine or the of our lord s th vo the of nature th globe vo s the sabbath of the fields th globe vo s the marriage in globe vo two worlds are ours vo s the olive leaf globe vo s the gate beautiful and other bible for the young cr vo d j p the decay of modern preaching cr vo d rev w the of the dead in christ cr vo d the kingdom of christ cr vo sermons on the prayer book and the lord s prayer cr s sermons preached in country churches nd cr s the conscience lectures on rd cr vo d on family worship cr vo f d the doctrine of sacrifice from the nd cr vo the of the world th cr vo d on the sabbath day the character of the warrior and on the interpretation of history vo ar d learning and working cr vo is d the lord s prayer the creed and the i mo is essays cr vo sermons preached in s inn chapel cr vo d each rev w the of our lord nd cr vo the and heavenly of our lord cr vo s d j bishop of jacob three sermons z o d the teaching of christ its conditions secret and results cr vo net l g bishop of sermons preached in st thomas s cathedral cr vo s natural religion by the author of rd globe va s mark sermons cr vo s paul of vo lo d of a vo s of the lord dean movements in re thought vo d r to religion the relation of cr x d reasonable faith a short essay by three friends cr is c p bishop of the lord s prayer cr d and university sermons cr vo s rev f the of the hebrew christians cr vo h r notes of the christian life cr d robinson h g man in the image of god and other sermons cr vo d dean the light that light every sermons with an d d cr t salmon rev george d d non and other sermons nd cr ts and and other sermons cr d scotch sermons by and others rd los d service rev j sermons cr w n four university sermons f d smith rev man s knowledge of man and of god cr s smith w the blood of the new an essay cr d dean the national thanks giving sermons preached in westminster abbey nd cr j d addresses and sermons delivered in america cr s the creed cr and p g the unseen universe or physical speculations on a future state t th cr philosophy a to the above cr d rev c w for christ and city sermons and addresses cr s the present condition of the church of england charge rd d duties of the church of england second addresses d the church of the future charges cr d the restoration of belief cr s d temple bishop of sermons preached in the chapel of school f d second series third series th | 32 |
va f the relations between religion and science lectures th and er edition cr f the lectures for b s il principal the christ of the and the christ of modern criticism f d c j dean and tf continued dr c j life s work and god s discipline vo d the wholesome words of christ and vo j faith nd vo christ satisfying the instincts of humanity nd vo y d counsels for young students vo or d the two great temptations nd td addresses for young f d my son give me thine heart ss rest awhile addresses to in the temple sermons cr lor d or sermons cr j d lessons of the cross and passion words from the cross the reign of sin the lord s prayer four courses of lent cr los d university sermons new and old cr vo td the prayers of christ globe yo j d sermons le sons of life and words from the cr d notes for lectures on confirmation z th d rev d j th trial of faith cr the present rev e t some reasons of our christian hope lectures for cr j d rev robert stones from the sermons cr rev john on some characteristics of belief scientific and religious lectures b s d g the week of creation cr d rev j e c the spiritual life and other sermons cr s rt rev b f bishop of on the religious office of the sermons cr is d gifts for addresses to for cr is d the victory of the cross sermons preached in cr d from strength to strength three sermons b d cr the revelation of the risen lord th cr s the historic faith cr the gospel of the th cr the revelation of the father cr s cr vo some thoughts from the l cr ts d social aspects of christianity cr s on gospel life crown in the press rt rev b f essays in the history of religious thought in the west globe rev e c t college sermons cr vo dr a s the light of th world nd ed cr s il j m of sermons preached in chapel nd series i pa cr j essays and addresses cr s d some to the religious thought of our time cr s wood rev e g the of the church d from the from the italian from tke latin into latin and greek verse the the with by t g d the seven against with translation by a w d f d with verse translation by m a v p the birds into english verse by b h on or thb with translation by e m a d the first book of thb of by a bridge the politics by jf e c m a d the by same cr the by same in the press on the constitution of by e cr d the history by g c lay m a cr i r the done into english prose s h butcher m a and a m a cr the books i xii into english verse by earl of cr js d the done into english by walter leaf ana cr d fifty poems translated into english verse by walter to s d see the by cr with translation by r d hind m a see also treasury series p ao the histories by e s cr the king y into english verse by e d a voyages and travels and by a m a i mo large paper edition vo s the complete works by h g m a cr vo vol l the and books l and ii op the s d vol ii in th press from the italian the with and notes by a j butler cr vo i s d the paradise by the same nd cr vo d the hell by the same cr vo s d de by f j church vo d the divine comedy by c e i hell ii cr vo dr each from the latin the life and letters of by the rev g e m a nd cr vo d the s vo the works of by j m a and s lee m a vo d the in a m b a vo d life and character an of his and by r m b a vo td word for word from the literally by w t c b cr vo thirteen by ll d new e cr vo d books xxv the second war by a j church m a and w j m a cr vo d book iv of the meditations with translation and by h m a vo s t the conspiracy of and the war by a w cr vo ts the works of by a j church m a and w j m a the history th cr the and with the dialogue on cr vo td the annals th cr vo d the works of by j m a and s lee m a globe vo d the by j w m a cr vo d into and greek verse church rev a latin version of from by p of dr t e c by a j church m a f w d cr or d d sat ft and travels see also history p sport p t g a journal illustrated by cr vo ts the of h m | 32 |
v b globe charles the heroes or greek fairy tales for my children cr vo of gilt edges js d madam how and lady why or first in earth lore cr vo d the water babies a fairy tale for a land baby cr vo new by l to s d arch thk fairy family a series of and tales cr vo see p madame s establishment cr d j f young prince illustrated globe vo j d martin the poet s hour poetry selected for children i mo s d l m il in the golden shell with illustrations globe vo j d mrs works by walter e vo s d each just a little boy a christmas child christmas tree land the clock four winds farm grandmother dear baby little miss the children rosy the room tell mb a story two little us an old fashioned story children of the castle a christmas illustrated by cr vo d summer stories cr vo d four ghost stories cr vo s nurse s story by cr f d mrs s journal author oo the t d mrs s schools and holidays g va t tl francis thb at small to t f t the children s treasury of poetry z mo ar d or in parts is each c the children s land from the best poets globe s i mo s d net speaking like by a cr vo x a and her friends a story for girls illustrated globe vo s d st a among cr vo r d the story of a friendship illustrated by cr vo st s author of illustrated globe vo when i was a little girl s d nine years old j d when papa comes home f d s flour bin d the tale of done into english globe vo d hon tack and the stalk english by r to d wandering author of the globe vo d ward mrs t m and with illustrations by mrs globe vo s d and the cr vo s f fairy bv green cr vo woods m a see p m the prince and the page cr vo s d a book of golden deeds z mo s d net vo s x mo is of cr vo s d p s and q s and little s wonderful globe illustrated cr vo y d a of stories a globe vo s d each the population of an old tree or stories of insect life from e van vo x d comparative practical see also natural history w h an introduction to the of the illustrated rd with the assist d cr vo los td sir g m tions in yo r text book of by h m and preface by e v s s k m a the of the circulation in plants in the lower animals and in man vo s r w the of the a guide to the of the muscular system in birds illustrated vo net r elements of the comparative of ted by w with additions illustrated vo is d practical g b an of practical with a by t h and martin h n a course of practical instruction in and extended by g b and d h scott d cr vo s d sir c the voyage of the the atlantic with illustrations coloured maps etc vo sir c the of the sea an account of the results of the of h m ss lightning and with illustrations maps and plans vo z s d g b of british or a j d each net or in parts each net sir john the origin and of insects illustrated cr vo d s h insects of north america map and plates a to s net key to north american birds illustrated vo r of field and general illustrated vo s net w w s f natural history white see natural history index abbey e a f e page rev e ii i i sir h w sir f o l rev a a d airy sir g b mary c sir w earl of t b alexander c f alexander it alexander bishop t c g w h f a dr thomas t go ind r d hind m x dr t w t w j k c a j c z alfred et bacon x f ao page rev e baker sir s w elizabeth j m rt hon a j f m j b ball v ball w ball w w r c a lady c w bishop j g j r c f h c w bath of l mrs rev w h j h h m m t d ant w j p g t t h as ao a as a d rev w t r b black w e j s j f w j r b ford h f ford w t r a w g m x j bond rev j g c g h e h c bower f o bridges j ax bright h a bright j g c w j si a bishop brown a c brown tj a brown dr s f i a i x t t aa aa x x ae x t a r u x x index page w r dr t james c a | 32 |
a a b dr j c g b w e burn r f burns b butcher s h j butler rev g butler samuel butler w butler sir w f j e r h ii rev a v l j f dr j m w w w r t lady earl of n l g carpenter bishop j c r dr d g s g tj b m d elizabeth r cherry r r c h h t k y w d church a h church rev a j church f j church dean fi i i ii f i w l s c b r d w k mrs w k a h r j b j w s t hon john j page ii i i i f s g rev j cook e t c j p j w h t h j h cotton bishop cotton c cotton j s e w j g g v mrs i h walter mrs d f m bishop m cross j a e h l c sir h s rev j rev w i sir a rev g h f h g a w w rev j n rev j li w s w b i g m w j i day l b day r e d x p h e c de m a a v c s rev j w w sir charles w i x is e a a j w e sir f h t a b j du cane e f i i a h a l j lady g f y dr w moss sir j e g h t w a rev j hon a t r w s j d h f h m g w d r w n m c h t rev o j l j g edward lord e f go e g flower w h f a a g rev g h foster m dr j m w page i s i i sir m e o it r v t rev t w w fox dr h s d p f bishop c c j g mrs a french g r p frost a b j a w m harry f j c a h ho j fo a i i x i x s as a x x index j r j h page as m r w mrs mrs h w d w h sir a j h de b charles a p n p rev j dr w e h g s g l j c g lady rt hon g j i j i d j w grand gray gray gray green j r g green j r green w s w a t e w h grove sir g guest e guest m j ao f p i g j w r f y g f d j j z s z z david c hardy a s hardy t hare a w hare j c father g c f i miss j dr r w n g z a w o helps sir a dr w h z page z z dr hill f hill o a h lord e rev t t h a w hole rev c holiday henry holland t e h o w sir j d c h g w h hope f jo e m a m f j a hon s d j d r m george g b a w very rev j s col h m baron t z z e t m hunt w hunt w mo r h z t j z z z x z a z z j p rev j r t d j rev j a henry rev h a rev r rev g e r c rev j h ed a c h w s a ex samuel ones h arthur ones d ei jones f m rt a m rev w ai z i dr l rev s h a b a b w b h p j n ao h w d z a x x z a a ao charles z z z z z henry j l dr e knight w a rev h r h p f r j lane s p j n ray t leaf w x m x lee s so a a o mark ao a sir x r z o z j m i dr j a j n lodge o j b ao mrs w j x a h w ao j ao w h j r l j aa f joseph s sir alfred h c m e of m g c m dr u ic q o w sir o r t rev v z i z n as index page w c rev dr g f m j f i m rev h michael c k s f j f j p ii is f w l sir t c b c r n a r a c martin martin martin h n h j d g i r o rev w dr h f col f f a m mayor j b mayor j e b l m w s r t c dr c j g l a e von a m mill h r miller r ic rev w milton w a b st george w g mrs g j h o c h house bishop n c john r e d a l c c e m m p r h n b j d | 32 |
look at a sentence of the for life the monotony takes the heart out of you that and the heat the killing heat at last the warming pan of a sun went down and the dark came quick and i on pretty well done and from the top of one of those everlasting bare i saw the white of a couple of showing up about half a mile away it wasn t my camp but it meant something in the way of rest and help at least i thought so at first though there was no smoke and the whole place seemed quiet save for the of a dog looked round at me and spoke as though forcing himself i needn t go into details he said that camp was dead even in the night which decently hides a good deal it was a ghastly place i suppose they d all died of thirst they and the oxen and i had fever on me i shall never know quite all i did see but in one of the i made out a dead woman underneath it a dog was tied a small cur the only thing left alive and it and and there had been a child in the a little baby child and i suppose it had lived longer than the rest and it must have crawled out over the tail of the and fallen close to the dog it lay there a white bundle of a thing in the gloom and the dog with its out across the i the child s chest its eyes showing green straining at the rope which tied it and bending down from the saddle i was too weak with fever to get off my horse too would have scared it was half mad at well at the death all round it and the i saw that the brute had torn the child s throat for for the blood he paused a moment and when he continued it struck me through all the absorbing terror of his story that was one of those persons who even under stress of adverse circumstance try to be just i know it was starving he said and which is worse it was men have done as bad things before now at sea only i tell you i had to kill that dog i could not afford to but i could spare a couple twice i tried it but my revolver was heavy and i was altogether played out so that my hand shook the bullets only cut the rope and then then i was taken with a sort of panic i cleared out of that awful place and the dog came his voice sank and while one hand still held the legs of the stool he sideways and with the other made a slow level motion as of something passing across the floor it kept pace with my horse those dreadful eyes looking up at me two green the galloping beside me dropping behind for a minute or two coming up with me again mile after mile all through the night and the night seemed years and years long i am afraid it is true even with the most of us that the appetite for horror grows with what it on i am naturally a soft man a in tents of the jacob rather than the order of mind i adventures save of the and five o clock tea sort yet as ceased speaking i was sensible of an craving for more of these horrors and when his silence grew somewhat prolonged i found myself to my shame saying well my dear fellow well that s not the end turned to me with that patient smile of his did i perceive though the faintest of contempt behind it the contempt of the and hunter the dealer in primitive passions for the smooth handed jacob of the club and the pavement and the silver no that s not the end he answered at last that s only the beginning i need not bother you with the whole set out i was pretty bad for some time though i stumbled across my own people next day and we struck a vein of luck at our place and the it o y rolling in the hand over hand it seemed as if the curse and the gold had come together as soon as i could move i went down to the coast and got away to sea and i thought it was all right we were a couple of degrees south of the and there had been a bad electric storm which had made us all feel pretty but the rain had come down and the weather was mending else had gone under cover some music and singing was going on in the saloon and i was standing forward against the with the doctor he was a nice little keen on travel and on natural history he died of fever a year and a half afterwards i heard exploring somewhere up the ive always been sorry he dropped out there was good stuff in him but about this affair of mine it must have been about eight and it was very close notwithstanding the rain and very dark but for the glimmer through the of the saloon shutters and right along the length of the deck straight at us came a dog just as hard as it could i only saw its eyes two glowing green a trifle bigger than a sixpence but there was no what they were they travelled along about nine inches above the level of the deck sometimes higher sometimes lower as the thing galloped it turned just short of us round the end of the saloon and went | 32 |
home as i may say in this case which is accurate in fact and pleasing to the ear as eh mr yes thank you the we have had a charming party really a delightful party haven t we mamma this to mrs flushed as a moon in the early stages of an vainly coolness by her bonnet strings and spreading out her fingers upon her knees as she sat upon the delightful he continued without waiting for an answer and most gratifying to us as as the authors of her days as i may say wasn t it mamma to witness the high estimation in which our dear is held by really superior persons nothing new of course mr said this with a smile which came as near being haughty as the fashion of a rat permitted but testimony to an old truth if that truth be pleasing is always welcome and she sustained her part in the conversation i do not when i employ the word victorious really there are moments when my daughter s knowledge of all subjects that come under discussion almost me it is i m sure positively i listen and admire and still the wonder grows how one small head can carry all she knows for under excitement it was mr s habit thus to gather in the british poets by some more or less quotation i have heard with the trembling that he has been known to whole poems of a patriotic character the charge of the light for instance or god bless the prince of wales during the of active interest these are not i understand at local meetings of the league mamma i am sure will my statement he added my daughter in congenial society among her intellectual equals is surprising really surprising h yes mrs said thus appealed to of course everybody was very clever mrs friends always are and it seemed to me talked as cleverly as any of them at least i understood quite as little of what she meant and it always shows people are saying what is clever when you can t make out what they mean don t you think so mr unquestionably my dear lady i replied an test mr glanced at me sharply and then again addressed that unconscious his wife you would like to have the lift my love and go up to our apartment and rest here i i think i will sit still a little first mrs replied throwing back her bonnet strings heat is very don t you find it so mr it quite me once or twice the at luncheon i turned so faint and giddy i wondered if i could remain at table which was very awkward for me mrs sighed it seems to me clever people like s friends are so strong she said they often look delicate and yet somehow they always seem ready to go anywhere and do anything and talk they never seem overcome with the heat or the cold either for that matter i m sure it must be very nice to feel like habit broke in mr habit there is a vast amount in that i declare i hesitate to limit the power of habit but i wish you had been with us mr you would have appreciated the conversation and no doubt increased its charms no doubt increased them one brief passage of arms between my daughter and mr upon the place of the imagination in modem fiction was brilliant positively brilliant and so the battle grew swelling almost to then broke in laughter and with courteous phrase sunk back to sweet agreement this the end and told some very good stories towards the conclusion of lunch one of the late earl of which was new to me a first rate story not more so than some of my own but still first rate just remind me after dinner the my dear and til tell it to mr it will amuse him yes but it seems a pity you couldn t have heard mr tell it himself for it seemed to me everybody would have been so glad to see you mr mrs said they all seemed so surprised to hear you were at this hotel with us mrs st john said she wondered what on earth you could be doing here and that she wished so much you would come and tell her mrs st john is a delightful woman and if she is very good perhaps i will tell her i replied perplexity obscured mrs s countenance as a passing cloud then she beamed out wise at me oh she said i see now you re being clever heaven forbid i cried i am guilty of much but believe me of that never my dear i really think we may as well be moving this from mr not without a hint of i where is that lazy lad asleep i suppose as usual yes most kind inquiries after you i m sure mr the ladies begged you would call upon them in fact i suspected he here became very arch i may have been wrong but i suspected it was thought you were a little in not having done so already come i tell you don t you hear the and receiving no response he chased away in and out of all probable and improbable doors seeking the lift boy mr a legend that you are a lawyer i hope that it is true for i stand in great need of an advocate is he is grasping plead my cause with him pray miss was at my elbow s long lean white and grey figure a couple of paces from her to the left he was watching her her and the terror had | 32 |
not yet quite passed out of his face this was dramatic meanwhile miss s bright and eyes were i will not say raised to mine for truth me to own our eyes were pretty nearly on a level i trust i shall not be considered if i mention that her lips had a trick of collecting themselves into what may be described as the sketch of a conceivable kiss before and after speaking her voice was of a gentle quality while her speech in fact yet apparently full of modest hesitation one s ear with a delicate hint of deference for had the excellent gift of a manner such as the natural vanity of the masculine heart you felt she reckoned it a matter of gratitude so fine a creature as your manly self allowed her to look on you and live ah if the women knew perhaps some of them do though worse luck anyhow at that moment s matrimonial intentions appeared to me as little as such foolish intentions often can be for even at close quarters miss was very distinctly engaging it must be remembered i had just suffered a heavy dose of her parents and from them she came a sensible relief poor young lady i asked myself of what crimes she could possibly have been guilty in a former state of existence to deserve such parents you see this bunch of roses she continued it is very lovely isn t it the scheme of colour is perfect you feel colour don t you mr these are delicious from white through those faint flesh tones rose and rose to this heart of passionate crimson do not let me into its perfection plead for it you are a poet save it for is it not a poem is it said well then give me a verse to stick in my ah miss murmured drawing back she shut her eyes for an instant and shook her head putting up one hand with a very pretty gesture of a verse but the don t you perceive you would the the the what asked in bewilderment i only want one of your roses looked at me i cannot comprehend a to mar what is perfect in order to gratify personal desire she said it is distressing is it not almost according to many high authorities all desire alas is my dear young lady i replied therefore your wish to preserve your charming may be i do not assert that it is i only suggest that it may be every bit as as s very natural wish to convert a portion of it into a favour for his do you really mean that i should have thought harmony was always dearer than discord preservation than destruction to me that scheme of colour represents the birth and growth miss s voice sank away became almost in of hesitation and the the splendid of some great romance i so when he gave me the flowers oh gave you the flowers i cried the girl did not speak she only gazed at me while her lips formed themselves into that peculiar sketch of a kiss i don t know how she did it but undoubtedly she made me feel i the had behaved that i had been crude and coarse then she turned languidly to do you still want them you may have them all now she said oh my dear you re never going to give away your sweet mrs protested from her post on the and stood holding the flowers bewildered looking as nearly awkward indeed as i had ever seen him look i am not usually either impulsive or irritable but i could not quite contain myself ah you were right pre eminently right i remarked to mrs your daughter is among the very clever persons she says things of which it is wholly difficult to arrive at the meaning l have him at last run him to earth cried mr emerging from a side door in what may be described as a jovial sporting fine old english mood ah ha run him to earth at last now my ladies to horse to horse boot and saddle up and away eh mamma up and away followed the family party and leaned his long arms on the gilded gates of the lift t i come up with you he asked i ve hardly seen you all day miss s expression was still that of one the who has been pained mistaken really very much pained i am so tired she answered gently and yet i must practise i i am distressed but i think perhaps i must practise you see i had better be alone the sleepy boy was working the steel rope and with a click the painted cage began to move up on its steel pillar i won t be in the way fu sit quite still i swear i won t try to make you talk pleaded but sank upon the narrow red velvet seat beside her mother shaking her head not just now dear please not just now she said sauntered back across the hall thoughtfully dropped the discarded roses on a little round table rubbing his hands together as though he wished to get the feeling of their stems out of his fingers i think i want exercise perhaps he said to me had a very well bred instinct of always trying to carry things off one leads an lazy life here you know i think fu go out for a good stretch by the way i suppose i ought to know but been so little at home lately you see who s this fellow who you re all talking about the a of genius i replied a what the editor of an extremely successful weekly paper of the social variety | 32 |
in his youth he produced a witty and improper novel which everybody said it was impossible to read and everybody promptly read it affected to be now he has ceased to be at all events in print laid to heart the golden that public confession of the sins of others is on the whole an even more paying speculation than public confession of sins of your own i am afraid he has also ceased to be witty that is a matter for regret looked hard at me sounds a bit of a i think he said but very likely i m wrong i see i don t catch on to a whole heap of subjects you are all talking about i have stayed out of england too long and your ideas at home have run clean away from me you are all speaking a language i don t know half the time he stared at the stool still lying wrong way up on the marble floor and then kicked it aside with a sudden why the didn t i come home six years ago for good he said i was worth a tidy lot even then i was younger was younger one was more in touch and then perhaps too the i should never have seen that brute of a oh well i beg your pardon i must have bored you enough and to spare with my own already meet you at dinner all right vm going for my walk chapter iv i was called away to for a couple of days to meet a friend who does not enter into this history so we will if you please leave her out of it i returned rather depressed by an afternoon boat that was packed with an plain headed selection of of all nations they named the mountains by the help of red the beauties of nature smoked tobacco freely and were otherwise objectionable to almost every sense yet if you could your mind from the of surrounding humanity the aspect of nature was very rain had fallen in the early morning and the fresh washed landscape wore a delightfully clean and youthful look the hotels and on the north shore of the lake shone out among their rich and gardens while the lake itself a heavenly floor showing all shades from to was turned up with the most bottle green at the edges the were likewise shot with lights upon their and with a the bloom of woods about their feet the are nothing but a nation of de granted but it must be they have the merit of selling the contents of their stock pots in an admirably pretty country on the first person i saw the heavy porter in top trousers who managed the gang plank was mr he appeared worried he up and down over the black of the pier and clung to the rusty the lovely of the lake with irritable eyes at intervals he hailed some to me object in the far distance and with a white umbrella catching sight of me he saluted me with of this instrument ah i you are back again mr he cried and all our little society will be most happy to welcome you back i m sure most happy even in so purely an association of our fellow creatures even in the passing relations of an hotel we miss the accustomed face the vacant place at table raises a regret i expressed my sense of for these polite observations but mr had returned to his agitated survey of the lake excuse me he exclaimed i think i perceive them he climbed upon the cross bar of the rails with surprising and gave forth a really howl coming in that direction you must have seen them in passing mr in the steamer he said turning suddenly and almost angrily upon me after waiting vainly for some response to this terrible noise did you not them who and what are they i ventured to inquire has taken my daughter out mr descended from his perch no i was in error i did not perceive them nor evidently did you he removed his hat and wiped his forehead i may mention that mr invariably wore a tall hat at this period and black clothes after which ceremony he somewhat recovered his no no he cried we must school ourselves we must school ourselves to wait and hope and still to hope and wait last lesson by man of heaven directed fate but i am not among the mr i can look forward i am thankful to say and look up all of which unquestionably was very on the part of mr but a little too large so it struck me for the immediate situation i pointed out that the young people were in no the danger that disaster was wholly improbable the sky being absolutely clear the water as smooth as a ah you me mr rejoined he carried his head on one side and nodded looking up from under his eyebrows you me i fear other dangers than material ones just now a father s anxieties natural and not i think where the future of so dear an object as an only daughter is concerned frankly then for in speaking to you i speak to a man of the world mr our charming friends mrs and mr have called they are actually here they are indoors with mamma and it me he said i cannot disguise from myself that it me profoundly my daughter should not be at home to receive them shows himself in her so long i thought it probable our friends would visit us this afternoon and i gave him a pretty broad hint on the subject i regret to say but you must have observed it | 32 |
yourself mr is unhappily he is sensible of his social privileges having been deprived of intellectual advantages and the enjoyment of intercourse with persons of superior gifts and position for so long i should have expected him to prize these things highly the but unfortunately it is not sa he is at this moment in my opinion a lamentable indifference to an opportunity of a most valuable acquaintance i hoped he had taken my hint he assured me he would return soon after five unless i am very much mistaken six will be striking almost immediately evidently this was serious so i tried to mr by remarking that considering how exquisite a companion he possessed s conduct was more than almost for is not as i pointed out the natural of happy lovers for them time has ceased eternity them how then can they be expected to remember that wholly mechanical contrivance the clock and to pass from the general to the particular was it altogether inconceivable that even mrs might at a push recall faint memories of a period when to linger with the great beyond the appointed time had been bliss was himself indeed entirely under this head for had he never in the dear dead past with mrs pretty pretty picture of the hours which as the poets so remind us will not stay ah yes the young will be young will be young mr he admitted it therefore is the incumbent upon those who like mamma and myself have reached what i may term the of our existence to watch attentively and prevent the commission of thoughtless on the part of our youthful relatives keep a sharp look out on our green apples our green apples ah ha and society is not to be with not but excuse me this time i do perceive them a boat two persons rounded the nose of the stone which the bathing place and little harbour on the right of the garden and my companion uttering of satisfaction chased off the pier and trotted along the path at the bottom of the hotel grounds to meet it the i may mention runs back in a low broad stone wall two sides of a piece of ground planted with close rows of plane trees the hotel s house stands at one corner the men dry their here and the boats are hauled up for it is a nice moist shady place commanding an view where the trumpets by day and by night and the all by the human as for me i never run should not l imagine were it even to clasp to my heart a the daughter which thing heaven in its mercy forbid so i followed mr in all the calm dignity of the parental mind along the lake path under quivering and arriving at the place of only in time to see his sided little black figure and the tall cream coloured one of the fair away through sunshine and shadow in the direction of the hotel and social distinction verily the ways of providence are not equal i had returned from in a depressed frame of mind as i have already recorded i had started for that agreeably little in a somewhat humour determined to do a trifle of living on my own account but the humour had not lasted with me it rarely does once on the spot a spirit of pallid invaded me to death all possibility of drama it really was rather provoking for i love drama and the position had been worthy of one of those french from which the heart must be extracted during the process of for the english stage if young maidens are to be spared anxiety when taking members of the elder generation to the theatre i had planned it all so nicely yet nothing had come of it and now directly i returned to this innocent locality to these commonplace not to the say rather common people i found that in full play which i had vainly sought across the water mr s conversation had given me food for thought while one glance at assured me that for him the wheels had been going round during my absence going round to some purpose chapter v he had just the boat a gaudy green and affair with scarlet cushions to it and stood in the shifting shadow of the plane trees watching the receding figure of the lady of his affections and that of his father in law as they passed out of sight behind a belt of shrubs in the garden half shut his eyes and threw back his head then his chin dropped on his chest and he stared at a pair of sailing about the clear water of the little harbour just back of the row of gaily painted boats which and together as the slight wash from the beat of the birds black took them a good many of us i suppose as we get on in life have a face our friends do not know though our looking glasses do when doors are shut and the room is empty that is the face of our naked self and therefore it is somewhat for any but ourselves to behold it believed himself to be alone he had let the slip appearances and i beheld the face of his naked self it was very interesting but as things naked often will it gave me a shock not that there was anything evil in it it held no revelation of cleverly veiled no trace either of fox or the man s self bare was like the man s self clothed sober and on its own lines not if sin was about one judged him more likely to be against than which so the authorities assure us is far better but in his case even the farthest | 32 |
better was still but a poor best for looked hunted looked tormented looked as people will look after a disaster at sea or a heavy shock of earthquake looked as those are reported to look who have seen a ghost of course we all join in denying the existence of the supernatural and it to the at present somewhat over country of exploded ideas or only in permitting its existence in the form of some of nerve or of the the to put it has the prayer to the great advantage of the of patent whose advertisement boards have so gracefully the station of the cross in modern english landscape i mention this in self defence for the certainly did look as though in pre scientific phrase he had seen a ghost and no one knows better than i do i need hardly say that ghosts like miracles do not happen therefore s body must clearly have been playing some fool s trick on s brain and in being taken in and so harassed by such was clearly guilty of a grave scientific it was my place to be angry with him to convince him of foolishness but i did none of these things i own to it with i was horribly sorry for him that was all and only the more sorry when suddenly awakening to the fact of my presence he himself left off contemplating the me with as much as he could muster not being a very accomplished actor while an almost defiant inquiry as to how much of the face of his naked self i had beheld haunted his eyes oh i beg your pardon i didn t see you he said we ve been having a very jolly time out on the water it really is a glorious afternoon but the sunshine s rather dazzling it strikes right up in your face off the surface of the lake in a blinding sort of way well what have you been doing been amusing yourself over there with the wisest moderation i replied my joys during the last two days have had nothing about them i have lost a little the money i have gained a little experience since we parted and so have you i fancy my dear fellow why i ve lost no money said rather quickly no but you have lost flesh which always a deepening of experience seemed startled then after a moment s pause he exclaimed why you don t mean to say it shows as much as that i i only mean to say that you are looking a good deal out of sorts you see too much he spoke shortly but recovered himself almost at once i m hardly the person to accuse others of seeing too much though so i feared i said i have had a hell of a time with with that dog flung away from me savagely oh it s humiliating i he cried i tell you i m ashamed downright ashamed of myself i can t hold my tongue i want to talk about it i want to tell somebody i am as full of my own symptoms and sensations as some hysterical girl i can t keep them to myself oh i it s humiliating i tell you it s degrading to one s manhood he turned and stood quietly by me again and again i beheld the face of his naked self i don t know what to do for the best he said the i want advice advice i who have never asked advice of any living soul but just along by myself and kept my own counsel ever since when i was a little chap of eleven after my mother died my father me into the rough and tumble of to sink or swim as i could and i have after a fashion that s just why it s so rough on one if you re going to up upon my word i believe it s best to do it early before you have grown to believe in yourself you haven t so far to fall so it hurts less but i beg your pardon he added changing his tone i have no earthly claim on your patience and kindness and i must be you me i cried ye gods is one bored watching in the theatre is one bored when seeing a man hanged smiled grimly perhaps my words some recollection no he replied there are occupations but i grant you you are not much bored as a rule when a man s being hung we moved away and sat down on the top of the wall together and i confessed smoking all the while which i fear was far from the attitude of a but it was work and i needed support of some kind you see the thing s growing worse he said the not merely more frequent in coming but different it is developing that s what me about so it doesn t stop where it did the brute is that s the word isn t it more and more he drew his heels up on to the and bowed himself together clasping his hands round his knees when i was sitting with the the other evening it curled itself up on my lap and i could not play the fool before them you know by at it and making a scene i had to sit still he forward resting his chin upon his knees and spoke very steadily and i tell you i felt all the shape of it shoulder the turn of its ribs it must be horribly thin and its left fore and hind leg pressing down on me as it lay on them as plain as i feel my fingers holding each | 32 |
other just now it was all cold and damp and and it smelt and that was filthy you know how a cur can smell this is bad i said raised his head slowly and looked at me i believe you it is bad just as bad as bad can be he rested his chin on his knees again and the beast has taken a fancy to my bedroom unfortunately last night as soon as i put the candles out i saw the eyes down by the side of the bed and they made a rush i heaved the a book at them which i had been reading it was vanity fair i m awfully fond of vanity fair poor little i always want to give her her five thousand a year to be good on oh dear me well they down again the beast was knocked backwards on to the floor you understand but in a minute it made another rush and came up across the and settled itself against the pillow those eyes staring bang into mine put his feet to the ground and turning away leaned his elbows on the low wall his hat was oflf and he held his head back i saw against the wide heavenly blue expanse of the lake his face in his pointed beard and the rather long line of his bare throat in which the apple moved sharply as he swallowed once or twice he was fine looking but too and worn for health the adventurer still but the adventurer who has touched the limit of success who is beginning to make acquaintance with the side of adventure which in sickness in prison in the failure of hope in of death i swore at it but it did not move i could not bring myself to touch it so we stayed like that some time he paused and swallowed again at last i turned over on the other side and it came and scratched at my back between the the shoulders as if it was digging out a rabbit and then why then i began to pray if there s a devil there must be a god somewhere too i suppose if it s only to balance things and i thought perhaps he might happen to hear it did leave off scratching but it turned round and round and into the small of my back and lay there against me like a lump of ice it chilled me clean through i couldn t stand it so i lighted the candles again and walked up and down till that blessed sun arose and it was day for a minute or two i smoked in silence and stared across the lake the night of which he told me and this radiant evening were in curious contrast at last he said what on earth am i to do about about i asked for i knew he had not finished his confession yet about my engagement about he answered rather hoarsely ah that comes into it he looked up at me of course that comes into it why that s the heart of it do you suppose i should care a damn about it but for that i am afraid i should care a very immense amount my dear fellow i said quite entirely apart from that straightened himself up the no you wouldn t though not if you were in my place you see this engagement of mine is an old story it s worked right into the very stuff of my life and it may sound queer he smiled rather sadly but perhaps you are never really more dependent upon a woman than when you are a few thousand miles away from her you see when you are knocking about in countries where there is not much public opinion to reckon with you are liable to be tempted to live a bit loosely and then her face comes before you at all sorts of odd times and her letters come and you spend hours planning what you and she will do together when the parting is over and you get back the thought of her is the sweetness of your life and the salt of it too it s what makes the work worth while you see other women nice women some of them dear women for a lot of women are nice and dear and they re good to you sometimes but they aren t in it they don t count one bit you want her just her and no one else and you re ambitious for her you slave and pile up money for her you want to give her just all there is to have and and in fact said looking full at me i love her i love her i suppose i m a selfish coward but it s worse than death oh my god it s unutterable misery to think of giving her up his voice had grown thick he did not wait for my answer but walked away beside the break the water his figure long and white under the green shade of the plane trees i like lovers their rarely me even at their worst they are to whom i myself quite willingly as an asylum and invite with open arms to on my breast while at their best they my soul with satisfaction in spirit i build temples to them and worship prostrate my frivolous head in the dust i had erected a quite imposing temple to by the time he returned for it appeared to me that in him providence granted me acquaintance with a lover of a rather heroic type if the beloved was as fine as the lover i had hope in that case i snapped my fingers at the dog for if | 32 |
was what her lover imagined her if she was worthy of his love i did not fear but that she could stay the plague under which he suffered but was she worthy was it probable the paternal rat and maternal clock moon could between them produce offspring of an heroic stamp to believe they could was i own a tax on my faith but as in law the accused is held innocent till proved guilty so i would assume miss to be a heroine till she was clearly proved to be otherwise and therefore i said to has it occurred to you my good friend that you are treating this matter rather high and that the young lady in question might be any the thing but grateful to you for as you put it giving her up i only want to spare her quite so but as we may i suppose take for granted a degree of affection on her side it remains an open question whether you will spare her by retiring from the situation ah if i thought she cared like that said softly of course i cried she cares like that nothing is sweeter than assurance on the part of others when one s own confidence grows somewhat weak threw back his head and smiled without doubt he was very much in love and yet i don t know he said after a moment for the more she cares the more likely i should be to bring my curse on her it is too hideous to contemplate think if later if afterwards as the reward of her as the payment of her great goodness in giving herself to me she she came to see and feel that beast herself but here cries from the direction of the hotel broke in upon the solemnity of our interview and mr bore down upon us at a double make a clean breast of it i said hurriedly trust her tell her that is my advice since you have done me the kindness to ask it tell her everything let her decide chapter vi he called est il ou now i am i trust the last person in the world to be guilty of an impertinence towards my elders but as mr pursued his active way towards us the word rose to my lips his expression desire for some object on which to a measure of vengeance a cherry perhaps would do perhaps a worm or possibly for have not even under stress of emotion been known to use their tender upon their fellow possibly he a human victim at sight of me however i observed him make an effort to summon a more genial aspect and his evident with a of he shook his finger at me and my heart fell could this indeed be a father of heroic children ah ha i see i see he exclaimed the mystery touches on explanation this is the cause the cause my soul hence the plays when you two young gentlemen get together there is no hope of you he turned to and as he did so the spirit of resumed full sway we have been expecting you he cried has been visibly disturbed by your absence oh has she i m sure i am very sorry said i understood some friends of yours were there and precisely returned mr quite excitedly that is the point friends of ours are here mr and mrs are kindly calling upon us most person i am sure mrs an advantage as i was saying recently to mr a positive advantage for one whom like yourself i may call a in the london world to have the of her charming house during the progress of this somewhat confused s vaguely distracted brow had gathered into a quite definite frown he was annoyed and for once did not try to conceal the fact i have not the honour of knowing mrs he said precisely cried mr again that as i remark is the point perceived this was a most favourable opportunity for the the introduction she is very thoughtful girl here he smiled in a really manner very wise she notes and never a social opportunity for which i commend her indifference in social matters is rightly understood but the mask of ignorance ignorance that sin which seeking to cloak others shows itself sun born of all dear me murmured lifting his shoulders as he drew a long breath took for granted you would follow us up from the boat immediately when she found you did not do so she was disappointed i had almost said pained for she recognised your mistake mamma remarking her disappointment affection wings to perception mr interrupting me in the midst of a most interesting conversation with mr upon the deepening of the sentiment among the educated of our great commercial whispered to me to come and tell you and here i am me as i may say mr here i am yes you are very sensibly here mr and it is as always a happiness to be in your company i replied with i had an idea intended revolt i the wanted to give him time to mature that excellent intention mr glanced at me sharply then he again addressed our companion well i have delivered myself of my mission why this delay because spoke very slowly i will explain why to later and she will understand he paused yes she ll understand because i don t to tell the truth feel very much inclined to go and see these people just now i i am not in the humour but but this is unheard of cried mr not inclined this is incredible not inclined this is insanity oh no it isn t it is replied | 32 |
pushing his hands down into the pockets of his coat and smiling wearily nothing worse than not insanity not just yet at least i believe not i fail to grasp your meaning mr looked vicious oh it s very simple as i say i will explain to she ll understand repeated the phrase more as one who needs than as one who has a conviction of the truth of that which he we will leave it all in her hands it may be better in the for me not to know these people at all o the at this lost himself utterly for the moment and in the excess of his irritation literally danced round his future son in law not to know them but don t you recognise that it is absolutely incumbent upon you to know my daughter s very cultivated and interesting circle of friends it is your duty and i may add your privilege to pay them all possible attention what are you thinking of pray who have you to look to but them who have you to push you why yours and my daughter s future happiness is wholly dependent upon their attitude towards you upon their receiving you taking you up and putting you through in short i ought to have gone away and left the i admit that i ought but the natural man is strong in me and curiosity is strong in the natural man i was tempted and i fell that is i stayed stayed to see clasp his hands behind him and bow slightly from the waist so our happiness is dependent upon s friends taking us up and putting us through is it he answered calmly well i own the matter had not occurred to me in that light i hoped our happiness drew a little more water than that but i may be wrong of course mr and you may be right i shall know more about it when i have explained things to and if i find a strict of social duties will secure our happiness the i you may be very certain i shall do my best to observe them ah he added here she is his face went very pale but his eyes were clear and steady and his jaw set morally the small battle had him miss s cheeks appeared flushed her abundant hair slightly disordered the drawing together of her lips suggested a sense of injury an inclination to tears she was extremely pretty as she halted at the edge of the shadow thrown by the plane trees a radiant perspective of wooded shore bathed in golden sunshine and the fair expanse of the lake behind her the white floating motionless the gaily painted boats ah she exclaimed in tones of plaintive reproach what cause you have given me for vexation stepped out into the sunshine towards her no she said raising her hands repentance comes late they have gone it is useless now and i wanted you so greatly to see them look here my dearest child i am glad they are gone for i want greatly to see you there was a certain air of mastery about just then which was not to be without the smallest apology he put his arm round the young lady s shoulders and drew her aside miss looked startled she was the i imagine to such practical of affection in public never mind your friends they won t break their hearts at not seeing me they ll keep let s sit down on the wall over there i ve a whole lot to tell you i ought to have told you before but i it the girl murmured her expression was strange the eyes were frightened the rest of her face sharpened into resemblance of the paternal rat must have seen the fright for i heard him speak soothingly i did not see the rat come come my dear sir i cried in this delightful you and i clearly have no part let us remove ourselves with all possible despatch i ventured to let my hand rest upon the sleeve of mr s ill brushed coat i am amazed at the events of the last quarter of an hour he said severely as he walked away i may go further i may employ the term the anxieties of a parent are cruel mr the from her breast feathers wherewith to line the nest for her young and then the young in the most unexpected manner i am sure sometimes most unexpected get out of the nest and fly away that is how mamma and myself feel just now mr i assure you we do the mr drew up suddenly took out his handkerchief and wiped his head well round i am at sea he cried i give you my word mr i am completely at sea never fear i returned cheerfully if i have the honour of knowing you truly you are one of those elect souls who are very safe to come into port at last mr eyed me and then decided to take the speech in good part so told me it reminded him of a capital story of the late earl of and a of from which story he proceeded to tell me as we strolled towards the hotel at the fullest of full length phase second chapter i the next day as far as i remember passed without incident until evening i hold there is but one evil in life that of growing tired of i therefore avoid it with great care and to that end entirely refuse to grow accustomed to my own i let my characteristics take me by surprise i am to myself habits as i would scorn to wear a livery i dread to be consistent as i would dread quite the last person of my acquaintance with | 32 |
whom i would ever risk being familiar is myself and so i study earnestly to cultivate a various mind and give my good qualities the slip equally with my bad ones to take a minor example i am naturally the manners and customs of my fellow mortals afford me permanent entertainment the consequently i solitude and often seek a hour i sought one on the evening in question it was damp out of doors and the more lively members of the community had gathered in the hall the more serious in the de after dinner a mixed multitude in both cases itself up as such multitudes invariably do into and that guard their own while casting glances of mingled desire and distrust upon those of their neighbours at one end of the hall a would be of reigned over the american section of the community supported by an el ant and obedient mother who had kept her figure a good tempered and obedient french who had lost his and a french who had followed suit at the other end a venerable russian poet blessed with fine head and silvery beard a man of really aspect he for cause unknown by the way invariably wore brown kid cut gloves presided over a court of three beautiful daughters a fierce spare young woman in a scarlet silk her wardrobe appeared limited whose black hair hung in a thick tied with scarlet ribbons down her back to below her knees and two young men also russian of and excited bearing the were filled in by english the english or nervously dumb or nervously boisterous few if any of them quite at their ease for it must be that the number of our dear country men and women who possess the gentle art of living gracefully in public is small persons who in the security of their moist island homes are well bred and really quite delightful become as awkward as chased in an hotel most english are bom with their feet to little round green stands like the ladies and gentlemen of s ark to see them as in foreign travel is to see them at a disadvantage for the stand is as necessary to their self respect as their decent and trousers in the hall talked the russian young men did more they waved their arms and shouted while the spare young woman alternately and at them and waved not her arms only but her whole body this displeased the it was very and caused him to bark which caused his mistress to slap him during the process she explained exactly why she him to her mother and all her friends who on their part continued chattering to her and her mother and the and each other and the french the latter laughed good with raised eyebrows puffed at his cigar consoled the the and tapped out airs from his coming opera upon the floor with the heel of his boot in the the style was different a retired surgeon general of the army seated upon a gilded in crimson and yellow the furniture of the was slightly loud held forth to an elderly and respectable audience upon the clear connection between mr and the little horn in the book of the prophet daniel the of the and the in revelations good mrs was a member of his congregation she sat under the full glare of the gas she was she was beaming yet she appeared to me worried mr and the little horn were too much for her in that she surely did not stand alone mr and the horn whether taken singly or in connection have been too much for many persons before now this i ventured to ard the signs the kind creature made to me her to and of a vacant golden seat in the immediate vicinity of the surgeon general i hurriedly crossed the room and let myself out by one of the glass doors on to the long wide the change from the heat and noise and glare within was rather startling a wet wind lashed through the the the lake swept over the garden and tormented the banks of on either de the large lawn the leaves of the upon the terrace tc and the great blossoms swayed ghostly in the half light flights of ragged cloud fringed with watery yellow where they crossed the moon fled across the sky of white foam and a of breaking waves came from the shore in a spirit of economy the lamps upon the terrace and the had been left only a brightness from the doors and windows of the lay in broad along the marble pavement and touched the edges of the descending steps we writers of little verses are to the moral and significance of nature s moods no doubt the night struck me as full of inarticulate complaint turbulent and distressed a night to make one think of lost youth and dead loves and of that most haunting of beings the still living woman whom almost certainly one ought to have married i often think of her for i have a tender heart and she was really very charming i thought of her now as i stood on the wind swept a long trail of scarlet trumpet had torn away from its and beat against the just above my head the and here observe the es of a various mind i in a few seconds i was enjoying all the pensive of self reproach for i ought to have married her unquestionably i ought it is true when i proposed she refused me but that is a detail i had delayed i had i had been seen in company and a considerate friend had not been wanting to report that incident and then i had been too ready to take | 32 |
no for an answer decline to take no oh my brothers wholly decline to take it and in the end the woman will invariably say yes here modesty inquiring what invariably and i replied yes always invariably refusing to permit modesty thus to put out the fires of self reproach chapter ii but just then a voice worthy to be that of modesty gently addressed me mr i hesitate to interrupt you for i have watched you and i see you are thinking i fancy you are and so i hesitate had approached from somewhere in the surrounding she stood on my right between me and the steps and her appearance was she had herself in an indian shawl which framed her face was drawn closely about her shoulders and folded arms her whole figure and almost concealing even the skirt of her dress this shawl was an exquisite one of s many costly gifts in colour violet it was at the border with delicate gold and silver threads and worked in many coloured the warm light from the windows behind us touched these rich colours in places touched the girl s and the soft brown hair about her forehead the result was eminently picturesque the looked quite delightfully pretty and had not possessed prior claims i really could have found it in my heart but then fortunately did possess them i remembered this yet i hold a man a fool who be his sentiments ever so honourable to let a woman know when he finds her pleasant to look upon hesitate no longer my dear young lady i therefore answered when they appear in so charming a form believe me are never unwelcome miss gazed at me for a moment and her eyes were very bright i wonder she said softly are you ever in earnest are you ever serious i am profoundly serious in my welcome of this particular interruption the girl drew her breath with a little sob can can one trust you i wonder she said try me i cried try me such as i am you shall not i warrant you find me wanting still miss drew her breath somewhat she leaned her head against the iron pillar of the the leaves and scarlet flowers of the clustered around it i regretted the half dark for i merely received an impression and the picture must have been worthy to be seen clearly just then i heard a the distinct grant various animals my knowledge of natural history though by no means profound carries me as far as that but only one human being of my acquaintance produces whether voluntarily or involuntarily i know not that sound a rather black person passed slowly down the farther side of the marble steps i exclaimed where has the great man been hiding the light of his countenance i did not know he was here i am in trouble miss murmured my remark i am in great trouble she clasped her hands and the shawl fell in loose folds about her you know my parents mr you know their devotion to me of course you know it and have probably smiled at it heaven forbid i murmured ah but you have for is it not obviously exaggerated an blinding to the critical faculty they have no measure no one more keenly than i do that their admiration makes both me and themselves absurd miss s tone expressed the tenderest apology the most humility they cannot help it i suppose she said gently but their attitude does not fail to distress and me greatly all the same do not imagine that i the their goodness to me it is beautiful but alas it is i cannot be quite frank with them i cannot dare to risk causing them pain she swung aside with a really fine movement as she did so the light from the window fell full on her face i saw that her eyes with tears and i am in pain she cried softly i suffer ah i suffer i am cruelly perplexed for i fail to see where duty the high duty which acquiescence and truly lies i am very alive to sentiment this was touching and i was touched yet in the girl s speech and action was there not just a hint a remote hint of in his noblest manner i therefore hardened my heart slightly to test the fair sufferer and bring her to book has spoken to you i said yes that is part of the pain but not in the way you no doubt imagine mr if my parents knew all that he has told me they would certainly require us to part they would think only of me therefore they must not know arid i hearing this repented of my late suspicion in mental and ashes that is well i said very well is it miss smiled upon me i divined more than saw the working of her singularly the mouth how little men know of women after all how easily they mistake that which will attract and that which will us i should have expected to mistake but mr are different from you i should have hoped for a more subtle judgment understand this strange story of s has no terror for me the gods be praised for that i murmured is not born under so very unlucky a star after all the girl leaned her head against the iron pillar clustered with again the wind took her hair blowing it back over the embroidered edge of the shawl her eyes were bright no it has no terror for me she repeated if this curse is laid upon him it is clearly my office to share it to shield him to sustain him in these dark seasons and places of his | 32 |
existence and so far from it me it supplies the touch of mystery which was lacking it what was otherwise commonplace it us him and me about with a peculiar atmosphere as she spoke she pressed her head in among the leaves and flowers and drew the folds of her shawl about her with an odd action as of physical enjoyment had never the appeared to me so perfectly natural as at this moment her manner had vanished she glowed so to speak she was positively but she was also a little if knew how to use it she continued it might be tremendous and splendid he might make an immense success an immense reputation he would be received anywhere on the strength of it ah what a superb opportunity some men would find in this to have your legend thus ready to hand and if properly treated such a legend you might society the girl let her hands all at her sides but he has no idea how to use it no more idea than a child the opportunity will be wasted he does not rise to it in the very least i have tried to inspire him tried to show him how unique and therefore precious a fate has befallen him but i cannot develop any enthusiasm in him i cannot cannot make him see no i agreed that i am afraid is a point of view which will never commend itself to i fear you will never make him see miss looked at me sharply as her father might have looked then she bent her head put her hands over her eyes moved a couple of paces to the right hurriedly while the wind itself to the situation caught her the shawl and blew it up and outward into a great arc of dusky colour against which her light dress her slightly bowed figure her arms bare to the elbow were revealed ah she cried i am very unfortunate i have you a wrong impression you the last person i would have my motives the might have called all this artificial and theatrical perhaps i can never find it in my heart to be where a thing is really well done and without question this was beautifully done the personal note too in the young lady s i found comforting to my little of private vanity so naturally i protested vehemently against all possibility of her motives but miss refused to listen she stood before me clutching one corner of her shawl letting the rest of it lie heaped about her feet on the wet marble pavement while she addressed me with lips trembling from emotion i know it she said and of course you know it who better seeing who you are and what you are but i cannot help it i am not well bred my poor dear parents are altogether mistaken about me how should they alas i of all people perceive just that i am not well bred and the knowledge i am not haunts me and my the happiness for i am conscious that to you and such as you mr i must seem lacking in delicacy at times lacking in innate refinement i am conscious that in what i said just now i have seemed thus lacking i you by my inherent inability to express myself to put things as a high bred woman would put them distress the girl s utterance i seemed guilty of proposing to trade upon s strange i seemed oh it is too dreadful like the unnatural mother who makes capital out of the of her child and i am incapable of entertaining such an idea surely you must feel i am incapable of it indeed you cruelly me it was not of myself i was thinking not of any advantage i could gain but of him of exclusively solely of him this was abundantly moving i would have spoken but miss paused only an instant for breath and then continued in the most pleading tones you know as a poet who should know better that we none of us can live without our romance without an ideal without some secret hidden place in which the soul finds and the completeness of its individuality we must have not only this passive support we must have an active one too we must have some the realm to conquer a strange fate has overtaken he must either sink under it or find his romance in it i thought it conceivable he might do that last i dreamed he might be saved that i might save him that way but but you say it cannot be i tried to point out to miss that a far less way of salvation was open to through her she had only to stand by him to be good to him to if i might put it love him why are homely honest things such as these always the most difficult to say i feared i was playing a somewhat part and most drowning fine in the cold waters of common sense i protest the position was hard on me for i should greatly have preferred meeting my fair companion s in a more sympathetic spirit i found her abundantly but friendship demanded i should not yield too freely to such finding i therefore strove to our little possible flames both hers and mine in this of cold water but i am only a man after all miss was far more than man namely woman which means that she was a past master in the art of i had advanced upon her along the plain she suddenly opened fire upon me from heights i had never even the forgive me if i have spoken too plainly i said and preached | 32 |
you a dull sermon you will be within your rights if you are offended still my dear young lady if you can possibly avoid it don t be offended is a great virtue specially when extended to that of the of sound practical advice remember our object is the same the out the of miss s face was in the light again her charming lips were quivering i am not offended she said gently i am a little hurt that is inevitable she put up her hands and held both sides of her head with a sort of distraction if i was only sure only sure she repeated that i could only trust you that you would not again would not think me she gazed first at me then out into the wild night i will trust you she said finally come down into the garden the neighbourhood of all these people in the me here i cannot speak and i must speak i must now clearly it was to to miss s proposition moreover the gravel was wet and the of my evening shoes thin still i went down with her into the garden chapter iii why is there always a third person to whom one owes a duty and why do the claims of that third person become at precisely the most inconvenient moments twas even thus from childhood s hour in my experience ah what is it to have retained a little odd and end of a conscience i i protest i wish i had been bom a a but otherwise villain then life might indeed have been worth living moved down the dusky alley beside me in silence we reached the path running along the shore before she spoke the moon had sailed out from behind the of cloud and her light made a wide pale stain right across the lake in which the broken of the waves up like tongues of silver flame the wind swept through the thick foliage of the trees above us away on the side under the shadowy mass of the mountains clusters of twinkling lights marked the site of the villages of st and the scene the i was a wholly appropriate setting to a romantic it might have really been but for the claims of the inevitable third person miss paced along slowly closely in her shawl her head bent she addressed me in broken sentences her voice was so low that what with the wind and breaking waves at times i could barely catch her words the root of my suffering is this she murmured i am sensible of a change in myself which makes me doubt whether the voice of supreme duty counsels self or now that we have met again i cannot disguise from myself that i have developed and that you care for him you are his friend therefore i can say it that has not developed there was a time when what he had to offer me seemed enough wealth and all the advantages it brings with it a very respectable social position and and very sincere affection i put in the girl stopped abruptly and faced me wringing literally wringing her hands ah what will you think of me she cried that you are entirely charming i answered be serious pray pray be serious miss implored she stood gazing up at the moon trying apparently to control some emotion the pressing her hands upon her bosom while her shawl once more yielding to the wind blew hither and thither forming all manner of fantastic sometimes it sailed out in a streaming sometimes it clung closely her figure as that of a has much very much to give but but in the last year is it is it wrong of me i have come to dream of a love very different from his and i cannot decide whether that is a temptation or a revelation a love profound mysterious b love which should be a religion an illumination which should all the richest deepest aspirations of one s soul i think from what i read they knew this love in italy during the some a few a very few have known it since her voice sank away into an whisper only a few a very few she repeated have known it since could never know it he could not grasp the idea and therefore i tremble lest i should do violence to the light that is in me by a marriage in which this element must of necessity be absent this hidden mutual adoration of elect hearts there was a momentary silence the sound of the lake was hoarse along the shore the trees bent under the force of the warm wind the the girl s shawl suddenly sprung up in flapping bat like wings from her shoulders giving her lightly clad figure the strangest appearance it affected me i became resolutely practical you wish to break off your engagement i said no no not unless unless and s lips gathered into that fascinating sketch of a kiss while she looked full at me in the most astonishing manner i grew hot i grew cold i rallied my friendship for i wished i was not a man of honour i wished a cloud would pass over the moon i thanked god i was a man of honour i blew up the embers of my affection for the woman i ought to have married i wished i knew what on earth to say i for the presence of i should have hailed him as my from one of the worst moments of my life i wondered if i was making a contemptible mistake i wished sweet had never refused me i wondered if i was a ass i wished would rush out of the nearest bush and seize me | 32 |
by the throat i wished anything and everything in short but that this pretty girl with the eyes and mouth should continue to stand looking thus at me my dear young lady i began with a courage bom of desperation the but miss moved back a step or two extending one hand in a movement of entreaty and protest covering her eyes with the other oh spare me the crowning humiliation of an explanation she cried it is for it is almost can you doubt that i see my error that with a clearness i comprehend i will go i will leave here to night i will leave by the first train in the morning i exclaimed the girl made no immediate response her attitude like that of a person who and thinks was it conceivable that behind the screen of her uplifted hand was thinking i detested myself for entertaining so cold blooded a supposition yet as the seconds passed i could not avoid entertaining it i will go i repeated miss lowered her hand and gathered her shawl languidly about her never had she looked more flower like more no she said and there was not any trace of resentment in her gentle tones indeed you must not go for after all you owe me something a little just a very little mr her charming eyes dwelt upon my most unworthy face the it is almost intolerable to think how much i owe you i replied dispose of me as you please the girl s mouth quivered her eyelids drooped then i lay it upon you to remain here she said you will still be my friend have i not bought your friendship at a rather bitter price the price of my woman s pride you will remain you will teach me where my highest duty lies i think perhaps you have begun to teach me that already you will help me to save she sighed you will help me to conceal this double pain from my poor dear parents for they must absolutely know nothing of s strange they must know nothing of the girl s voice died down into a sobbing whisper she held out her hand to me i kissed it in silence and miss turned away do not come with me please she murmured it is far kinder to let me find my way back through this troubled wind vexed night alone i permitted a decent time to before i returned to the hotel i am human consequently i was moved i was flattered i was specially at first then the habit of analysis the one habit with which alas i utterly fail to play fast and loose laid its chill influence upon my feelings i began to ask my the self whether the was just possibly among the greatest of the world i recalled that odious i began to ask myself where the devil mr could possibly come in chapter iv i have mentioned i disliked him then i may add that i dislike him still a certain pleasure is from describing those whom one i will not deny myself that pleasure at this particular period of his development had lately passed from the and to the reserved style he moved as one by profound experiences as one by an wisdom of the heart had miss by chance acquired some of her curious little theories on the subject of the affections from this source i could not say in bearing was withdrawn apart he had religious scruples too or to be quite accurate religious persons had according to his own report scruples concerning him he hinted at on the part of sent forth from the eternal city both in speech and in print he gave one to understand that not only many a member of the sacred college but even the holy father himself was engaged in efforts to the gather this wandering in whom mystic and were so mixed into the great central catholic fold the honest man himself hastily the truly wise man himself very very slowly for is not the possible convert precious alike to those whose communion he is on the edge of joining and those whose communion he is on the edge of leaving knew this he remained on the edge by both parties i believe for i don t see him often in these days he remains there still in person he was not beautiful i have heard that plain but lady madame describe him as a cross between a second rate and a parson gone wrong there is an element of excess in this statement yet truly he was not beautiful for he was short sallow and inclined to in moments of i could have found it in my heart to call him greasy looking his hair was black rather long and of an uncomfortable and what of moustache he owned was black also he dressed as in mourning for lost illusions he had political aspirations of the grand type he dwelt on pictures of the stately conscientious noble of the lowly and contented as far as i know he never owned a rod pole or perch let alone acre of his native or any other soil but that is the a base detail as rank would not marry him i speak from he had decided to marry money meanwhile a lady possessed of neither according to contemporary scandal the of this truly remarkable mind in the days immediately succeeding my surprising interview with miss i observed that treated us to an increasing amount of his society he came in to luncheon he came in to dinner he if i may employ so common an expression in speaking of so uncommon a person was perpetually hanging about i was hanging about too for i soon discovered miss | 32 |
s demand that i should help her in the present crisis of her affairs was no empty one i had begged her to dispose of me she took me at my word she did dispose of me i am far from complaining for our fair did everything almost everything well and she disposed of me admirably she held me with a silken chain held me so gently so yet with so delicate a of sadness of just conceivable reproach that i came near that same chain it became natural i should be constantly at hand as i have said was also constantly at hand so of course was it was not her object i entirely the young lady of any so paltry a scheme but in point of fact she did thus establish a rival the court to those of the american and the russian poet a court which not only but came near theirs for while they merely with their kind miss it alone in her sweetness always attended by one sometimes by two more frequently by three still and english gentlemen such things give me pleasure let it be added that her worthy parents were constantly though within hail their office like that of the chorus in a greek play to direct the eyes of the spectators upon the chief actors in the piece by these last their talents virtues and beauty their titles and the innumerable noble deeds they had performed or might in the hopeful opinion of the chorus almost certainly be expected to perform very shortly but we were not always in public the of apartments retained by for the family included a smart little sitting room and it was here as far as my memory serves me that the next serious scene of the drama itself the devotion of miss s parents to their offspring reached the point of self and further than that no devotion surely can go as my intimacy with this interesting family increased i could not fail to remark the young the lady on more than one occasion tenderly but firmly suggest that her mother might stand in need of repose sometimes the dear good woman took the hint gratefully sometimes she appeared slightly perplexed and did not display entire or and that was embarrassing in speech and required explanation she was guilty of this last i grieve to report on the evening in question we were gathered in the sitting room and had been playing to us mrs supported by a wealth of silk cushions was seated on a sofa at right angles to the large french window opening on to the balcony a disposition to slumber after the last and heaviest meal of the day in which hereditary middle class habit for a brief space over a somewhat late developed social sense held mrs in its ponderous grasp her knitting fell on to her lap she recovered it soon it fell again and this time with a distinct of the steel needles our active seated beside her the sound of whose own breathing had more than once quite audibly filled up the pauses in his daughter s really magnificent rendering of the ill recalled her to a fitting sense of her dignified surroundings by gently her with the half completed while murmuring in tones of playful severity the mrs my love do not give way awake my life arouse yourself pray rouse yourself mamma in consequence i suppose of these miss her progress accompanied by the soft of what i believe is known as a silk foundation crossed the room and laid her hand upon her mother s shoulder dearest she b an in her hesitating voice mrs sat bolt upright gracious how you did make me jump she cried had been standing at the open window he stepped rather quickly out on to the balcony had been turning over some music lying on the top of the piano he the peculiar sound i have as a i had been standing by i remained where i was and still bending very prettily above her mother raised her eyes to mine in pleading in pathetic apology for the of one so near and dear to her then visibly making an effort over herself she went on gently dearest i see that you are weary the day has been so hot we must not let you over tire yourself you need rest you must not let me keep you up the well it has been very hot my dear mrs assented and the heat often does turn me a little giddy as i think i told you mr and the music s very nice and pretty but you see i never can keep awake long under it a broke in mr gaily a delightful compliment i m sure really delightful compliment to the soothing qualities of my daughter s playing and tired eyes in sweet repose et line from a hymn that i fancy but as i maintain whenever the subject comes up for discussion our is not to be despised as it does and the late venerable though mistaken cardinal among its sweet verses i give you my word for it most exceedingly sweet verses have often been constrained to recall to my wife s memory haven t i mamma on our return from our church services again raised her eyes to mine poor young lady i really felt for her her parents were somewhat unspeakable listen dearest mother you acknowledge that you are tired she repeated i know our guests will excuse you so do not attempt to sit up any longer here she glanced at mr and once again it struck me that at moments there was a the singular between the expression of the father and daughter persuade her to go they have kindly asked for a little more music but | 32 |
persuade her to it will be much better an air of bewilderment pervaded mrs s kindly countenance she looked from one to the other but my dear she said of course you know best and i wouldn t interfere with your arrangements on any account you know but isn t it rather odd it is so awkward to say like this but you know my dear how nervous i am at night and if papa goes to bed too you ll be left alone with these three gen a quantity of loose music fell with a and from the piano on to the floor and stooped murmuring excuses for his stupidity to pick it up who was standing near the window again called to me come out here the lake is looking awfully pretty to night chapter v i obeyed his summons and leaned beside upon the stone of the balcony to night the garden was very sufficiently illuminated earlier in the evening the local had music of a questionable sweetness upon the and the whole of our company by a from the town still lingered in the night air taking little drinks around the tables upon the terrace or strolling about the paths and shadowy a gang of children clothed in white garments chased each other with cries across the broad and in and out of the far out on the lake was singing to a accompaniment this was the first time i had seen save in the presence of witnesses for several days i had fancied probably quite that i detected a slight on the part of the fair to leave us together i was the more glad therefore to note a very distinct im the in my companion s looks and bearing he seemed less harassed more solid he bore himself as a man contented and at ease i even thought that just now i perceived a smile at the back of his eyes so to speak indicating that the late incident though he so gallantly came to the had appealed to his sense of humour it s a glorious night isn t it he said s shoulders shook slightly i really am awfully fond of mrs though he added and that fellow actually came in at the right moment for once in his life are you your first opinion i asked for i was rather curious as to the relation of the two men are you growing to relish the society of our celebrated oh i think him more or less of a which is exactly what i always have thought him answered in tones of cheerful contempt and we see a lot more of him than i personally in the least care to see but when a man s clear that he has the game in his own hands he is an ass if he about trifles i can put up with mr well enough for the next week or two and if he fools about too much after we are married til just let him know his place by kicking him quietly chuckled i walked downstairs behind the him the other day and i ve an idea nature specially constructed him with a view to a kicking clearly was in excellent spirits the course of true love runs smooth then i remarked the marriage takes place stood up and stretched himself opening his chest and bringing his clenched fists up to the level of his shoulders yes the marriage takes place takes place takes place he said smiling then he leaned his elbows on the top of the again and for a minute or two we were silent the man was evidently happy and when a man is happy i hold he may very safely be left to his own thoughts for next to an infant to make it cease crying or beating a with his own to make him hurry i know no more brutal stupidity than awakening the happy from their dream of bliss by talking to them happiness is not so common that one cares to risk interfering with it let them speak first after a time did speak you were perfectly right he said and i was a miserably idiot of a creature of course the right way was to trust her i m immensely grateful to you you ve been a wonderfully good friend to us both she told me you had had a little talk with her the other day and i the think if possible she s been sweeter to me than ever since then turned his face to me it was radiant dear god he said very softly it s the loveliest thing on earth to be certain at last that the woman you love really loves you and of that you are certain i asked yes haven t i had proof she has been tried in the fire and shown what she is made of pure gold i ve left off cursing the dog for three whole days i ve forgotten to curse him ah there s playing again she does play doesn t she let s come to the window and listen and it really was worth while to listen for if not exactly divine miss s playing was remarkably good her was admirable so admirable that you could afford to forget all about it and give yourself to the element crying through and the mechanical one had subsided into an arm chair close to the grand piano he was not a large man yet he had the habit of slightly overflowing every chair in which he sat to night he more than usual changing his position frequently his eyes with a music score glancing about him then the them again as miss concluded the she had been playing he rose with a to his small square feet and as | 32 |
the girl turning her head looked at him said no my craving for music is not yet satisfied far from it but before i ask you to steep my senses once more in this ocean of sound i must that the room may be darkened somewhat you have done your best to the glaring of colour and form in this terrible hotel sa on i am sure miss but yet much much of necessity remains which causes anguish to a cultivated eye and the light of these candles and lamps brings all details into fullest relief really i didn t think the room half bad said in an aside may we not have some of them extinguished miss thus letting the stars there through the open window the fragrance of the garden borne upon the night wind and the perilous rapture of think of the episode that exquisite exile d the eternal of the breeze in the pine trees and george sand the woman of the like and eyes sitting by drinking in the passion of the master s music let these i say even here amid the bare of a modern hotel for one beneficent hour have it all their own way loo the ah i love the half light too the girl answered it is sympathetic partially to conceal is to suggest isn t it and to suggest is often really to reveal the deeper the everlasting meaning don t you think so she got up yes yes let us them she said with a sort of then checking herself suddenly she added ah i forgot paused she appeared to hesitate then she came swiftly across the room straight to her head thrown back her hands slightly extended as though in entreaty and that conceivable kiss upon her lips but if you in the least mind she said just audibly and waited he had been a little disturbed by s upon the sitting room but s moment of ecstasy was not wholly past yet his face was still radiant my dearest child do whatever you like he said taking her extended hands for an instant thanks to you i am growing indifferent to the dark lingered gazing in a really manner at her lover suddenly her chin quivered and her bright eyes were by tears this was wonderfully pretty too pretty for the loi go and play go and play he said go or i shall make a fool of myself i ll put out your candles and things put out the sun itself in heaven i believe if you asked me to the girl turned gave me one glance in passing me as with a ds and moved swiftly back to the piano while followed her light and darkness in his path with an almost savage and spread himself over the surface of his arm chair again with a thanks thanks that is better you are really very amiable mr he murmured in tones of lofty patronage nothing now i trust will mar the sentiment a sentiment at once so and so of these god given chapter vi the dark is all very well the dark may even prove a friend at times i have found it so myself but this was not one of those times and somehow i the events of the last few minutes neither s action or our fair s had appeared to me quite spontaneous i myself for my eternal where these two persons were concerned yet i remained impressed with the feeling that his request had been curiously her of it curiously elaborate and then the darkened room unquestionably wore a somewhat sinister aspect by no means calculated to uncomfortable suspicions however foolish and such suspicions might be the electric lights on the terrace threw a vague sort of brightness crossed by equally vague shadows upon the ceiling upon portions of the wall above the piano and upon the edges of the furniture near the window the shadow of the of the balcony lay along the floor twisted and by the opposing the angles of the lamps below otherwise the room and its contents were and indistinct as miss fingers touched the keys again i placed on the sofa left vacant by her mother s departure to the chamber the silk covered pillows that had supported that good lady s back and promoted her tendency towards slumber had now slipped down on to the seat the surface of the upper one and the of it caught the light stepped back on to the balcony he stood there his left shoulder resting against the of the window frame his face was turned towards the darkened room but i had a sense it bore an expression of exaltation the exaltation of something successfully dared and won the man was generous to a fault generosity a pleasant glow to the whole person i have been generous myself just often enough to know that one s first sensation is delicious as is the first moment after jumping out of a cold bath i have also observed you need subsequently to rub yourself very hard if you would retain either the moral or spiritual sensation of warmth the has been a trifle too strong a reaction follows these thoughts passed through my mind as i looked up at and in doing so became aware that his lean well made figure showing black against the purple depth of i the the night sky was like the cushions and carved of the sofa immediately him by a pale luminous outline played that i forget the number of it with a tenderness beyond all praise i murmured something of my very genuine admiration the most taste forbidding to my thinking at all pronounced applause however uplifted his voice without hesitation he belongs to a set the mrs set in | 32 |
which endless discussion is fashionable and a hundred and one wise reasons are offered in justification of even the most trivial personal opinion he spoke languidly yet loud he intended us to hear thanks he said you have surpassed yourself i fancy that unconsciously you have done more we were speaking of self revelation just now surely in your rendering of that delicious thing you permitted yourself to draw away a veil from your own soul and for those who have ears to hear and eyes to see in a measure revealed your deepest self moved slightly the spiritual element in that is definite it speaks directly to my religious instinct he continued but the spiritual element is not the only one for the sentiment as a whole is complex that is what renders the it so profoundly interesting the religious emotion in its simple expression is always joyous isn t it i think so the girl answered softly am sure that it is asserted recalling the hours when i have been most deeply conscious of the of the divine idea i recognise that they were hours of i myself silently at the thought of of all men on earth author of lover and editor of the present day with his temperament and gift of heavy feeding in a condition of thanks to the of the divine ideal but here notwithstanding the presence of true i find little gladness i am aware indeed throughout of a tremor of intense and vital melancholy you were aware of that also miss and you intended to convey it to your ah yes she answered again softly shifted his position i knew it exclaimed your dramatic instinct of course is strong since you possess in so remarkable a degree the artistic temperament but knowing you as well as i am learning to know you i can rapidly detect where io the you draw upon the comparative of the dramatic instinct and where upon the of living personal experience the deuce you can said under his breath may i try will you grant me permission to try to your thought still addressed himself with rather to miss but he still spoke quite loud his voice up now and again into the and most it had the effect of a challenge as delivered by a none too certain of his own or of his footing from the top of a wall his manner and the subject of his discourse in short were quite at to me it seems you found in that and gave in your rendering of it the melancholy not of a rejected soul far from that but rather of one who after long struggle has sacrificed the of happiness in obedience to the compelling dominion of some moral idea and who looking back the i had almost said the of such a sacrifice he paused trying as i imagined to gain more mastery over his wandering voice yes your reading was richly subtle richly pathetic i too can figure that broken melody the those searching which seem to through the secret places of one s most being as the utterance of some exquisite woman artist by nature saint through the power of adverse circumstance as she for some brief but hideous the eternal anguish the glory of her own self it s all very fine i said but upon my honour if this sort of thing goes on the kicking will have to take place sooner than i expected turned towards us his face projecting itself as a livid object from the obscurity i beg your pardon i did not quite catch what you were saying mr you were good enough to remark oh my remark will keep until a more convenient season the other answered when that season arrives i shall have the greatest pleasure i assure you in repeating it with appropriate action but here s hands most descended with a crash upon the piano the young lady s melting mood seemed to have passed giving place to a very different humour what she played during the ten to fifteen minutes i do not know i never heard it before i am more than willing never to io the hear it again i suppose it must have been a but a conceived in a it gave me a impression of innumerable tormented shrieking human figures whirling in a desperate and dance driven hither and thither in fashion like desert sand by an evil wind it was exciting for it took one into the region of utter and that region is always exciting however this was decidedly exciting but it was not quite nice miss herself whole to the spirit of the music i trust i am far from being a but there are limits and she passed them her playing was not quite nice perhaps therefore i have confessed to a dislike of the man it stirred s somewhat blood i watched him rise and move slowly close to the side of the grand piano facing the girl as she played his person a blot of deeper darkness against the dark made a movement also i fancied he did not relish the performance and was going out on to the balcony to escape somewhat from it but he merely stepped into the middle of the window while his shadow crossing that of the iron lay right along the carpet of the room almost to where the skirt of miss s light dress back from the music stool the the music grew in vehemence and force in violence of sounds while the human figures it up before me seemed to become more wanton in the passion of their dance the thing was unpleasant i wished it would stop it affected me it agitated me i could not remain quite still i began with the of good mrs s silk pillows while i meditated upon | 32 |
the extraordinary of nature exhibited by the mother and daughter kindly and clock moon by what strange workings of had she contrived to produce this young creature possessed as she just now appeared to be by the spirit of a fin de just then spoke he was close to me his voice was hoarse he said would you mind keeping your hand away from that cushion i looked up at him in some surprise he had turned sideways and the light took his his face had changed in the last few minutes it had grown thin and as once before his lips stood away from his teeth by all means my dear fellow i answered if you wish it but why is anything the matter the dog s the matter said quietly it s sitting on that cushion it s just jumped up mo the i glanced at the cushion and then back at for an instant i doubted whether he was though considering our former upon this subject it occurred to me as improbable he should indulge in so grim a joke at his own expense but that one glance assured me very completely he was very far from i inwardly what could be done it was possible to to once and for all that he under an but the wicked spirit which miss s playing and expressed itself in that still agitated me and rendered it difficult to me to think clearly i am afraid i made a disastrous mistake if i did so let it be put down in part at all events to the sabbath of sound my ears and my brain and not exclusively to my stupidity believe me you are dreaming i said i give you my word there is nothing whatever upon that cushion i am not lying anyhow answered rather hastily you are behind it so of course you can t see come round stand here now look so to humour him i got up and stood beside him while played still played there now he went on now you can see its the in eyes you must see them the re plain enough i m sure and look how the silk of the cushion gives under the beast s and under its and i stared at what merely the little left by the impress of good mrs s solid shoulders little wandering lines of light that appeared to me as abundantly pathetic abundantly absurd taken in connection with the supernatural horror whose presence they were declared to indicate heaven forbid i should seem to call your in question i exclaimed but indeed i see nothing my dear friend you are the victim of an or delusion i suppose the two mean much the same thing as i have told you all along no dog no nothing is there and i can prove it to you certainly never showed to better advantage than under extreme pressure if his courtesy failed for an instant he recovered speedily and very gracefully now his lips gave and he smiled at me in that singularly way of his i am afraid not though i wish to goodness you could he said no no for mercy s sake don t touch it i his voice dropped it smells the brute to night it smells your hands will never feel clean again the i own it required a little nerve for i was shaken by that violent and ceaseless music and s tone and manner were calculated to produce faith in the most mind still i did sweep my hand down slowly over the surface of the cushion and of course it encountered no resistance how could it since as i had affirmed nothing absolutely nothing was there you see i said he shook his head it got away it jumped down he replied anyhow i am thankful you did not touch it argument is wasted upon a man in this frame of mind yet i was pushed by the desire to convince him i paused asking myself what on earth i could do or say next meanwhile miss s playing became slower more broken full of wailing as though the dance had changed to a and death was breaking their ranks bearing away or beating down those lawless dancers moved a little nearer he bent over and talked to the girl the occasionally shrill tones of his voice which still appeared to be under insufficient control mingling oddly with her playing suddenly a cry it was exceedingly dreadful it turned me cold and sick broke in through the of the music and rushed past me across the room the train of the s dress lay out pale over the floor and he kicked it stamped on it trampled it under foot the music stopped with a harsh discord and without rising the girl turned half round on the music stool stretching out her hands as though to save herself and push him from her what has happened pray calm yourself what are you doing she demanded for all answer he took her up bodily in his arms i had no conception the man was so strong shook her as you might shake out a handkerchief on which a spider or some other insect was crawling carried her right out on to the balcony into the full glare of the electric light and stood there holding her close against him as he might have held a child my sweet i heard him say his voice broken by emotion my sweet forgive me i am so rough i must seem to you such a brute but that vile thing took refuge beside you it was upon your gown it was upon your knees i saw its eyes oh my god my god the unspeakable of it its hateful head was | 32 |
against your dear bosom s voice sank away into a whisper he kissed the girl s eyes her throat as she lay in his arms and then suddenly as it seemed himself he set her down very gently the on her feet and turned round with a terrible face upon who stood nearest the window go he said you are not wanted here we have had too much of you all along the distinguished retired in some haste he was not by nature a fire save on paper i followed him the girl was safe and for the rest i wanted neither to hear nor see more indeed i had heard and seen too much already it is hardly decent to witness the of a fellow creature in such awful straits the joys of the in heaven are multiplied by listening to the cries of the damned which reach him from across the great gulf but i am not made of such iron stuff that my personal comfort is by articulate misery on the part of others i am afraid i advanced rather upon here are matches i said for pity s sake help me light the candles and then disappear as soon as possible s nerves appeared to have suffered his hands awkwardly with the box of matches as he tried to strike them and his smooth hair looked positively the man is insane he i told her so i knew it mr clutched my arm the during the extraordinary scene we had just assisted at she had behaved with really magnificent composure neither calling out nor struggling i could not but admire her courage she was composed still but she me like a vice the points of her fingers digging themselves into my arm while her pretty face was and sharpened the maternal element was wholly banished the rat had it all his own way and what a rat strong almost alarming i remember you are bound to obey me she said you have promised and i hold you to your promise came close to her i was not mistaken you see he murmured looked at him for a moment with the strangest expression good night she said then she addressed me again my parents must know nothing of what has just taken place you must be silent you understand absolutely silent and you must leave us please you cannot help now except by being silent later perhaps good night phase third chapter i it was not i must admit without a certain movement of relief i learned on inquiry from the head waiter who graciously condescended himself to serve my breakfast on the outside the a next morning that had left for by the first train as i have remarked already i drama it is among the best of the several good things of life but it is i must add among the good things of which it is quite possible to have enough and i had really had about enough of it on the previous evening i hailed a pause i did more i took an early boat to and refreshed my soul by a luncheon in a delightfully cool atmosphere both physical and sentimental in company with the friend who does not enter into this history and whom ue the therefore i have already expressed a desire to leave out of it coming back since the afternoon was very charming instead of crossing directly to i took the boat to the head of the lake the chestnut woods above st held the sunshine in an manner i remember i wished to think about these woods about the of my fellow passengers about the gossip of the fair friend from whom i had just parted but unfortunately i found it impossible wholly to banish memories of and speculations concerning the situation from my mind the occasions upon which one witnesses strong emotion in real life are rare and that which one does witness on such rare occasions is haunting it was borne in upon me how very much more effective and penetrating strong emotion is off than on the stage how nature notwithstanding her obvious strikes home as art i deeply regret to allow it never can last night had been fine had been fine with a difference even had played a telling part in his own objectionable way and there i paused for my own action appeared to me wholly i had occupied the position of the state only once had i taken the and then with what disastrous results ii the i could not moreover myself of a certain in leaving miss though she did i own appear perfectly equal to managing her own affairs no i was not proud of myself and then little incidents began to to me which were somewhat incomprehensible in that matter of putting out the lights now was it a plant had there been any between and miss i was busy with this difficult and not very pleasing problem when on shipping at mr himself hailed my advent upon the upper deck of the lake boat well met he cried as ever the truly welcome friend there was if i may put it so an air of bank holiday about mr it is an air calculated to render a hearty reception by the possessor of it peculiarly to one specially when the said reception happens to take place in public the occupants of the benches under the the lean and active americans the large and affectionate the english clergy in surrounded by their even those very superior persons the in bearing the impressive effect of universal which covers them immediately upon crossing the channel and remains so by them until they the regain their native shore even these turned to gaze at mr and my all too greatly honoured self mr had a bag across | 32 |
his shoulders under one arm he carried a white umbrella he had field glasses in his hand to day alas he wore a new hat it was high made of soft grey felt and had a deep an absolute down the middle of the crown of all european countries known to me undoubtedly produces the most both male and female mr s hat was of local manufacture it was surrounded moreover by a black and white that had seen service the ends of it streaming afar upon the breeze as the little man the deck mr was full of conversation i am here with my daughter he told me she is mr slightly perfect health perfect i assure you but a delicate a highly nervous and marriage is a serious step it is i think i may even say an undertaking for some of us i am sure very to leave home and l to quit the dear old family roof at one wondered did they habitually camp out among the chimney pots must of necessity cause a pang aye more than one quite a number i the of pangs in fact to any highly sensitive heart i expressed my regret for miss s and added a hope it was but of a passing character i trust so he replied but i cannot disguise from myself that my daughter appears depressed these delicate young creatures are so full of feeling fair english girl whose cheek the words her lips would speak yes yes so i invited her to come out with me and mamma approved the plan i am happy to state entirely approved it the aspect of outward nature upon this truly glorious summer afternoon would i felt convinced prove an to gloomy thoughts and hence you find us here mr hence you find us and very happy indeed we are to be found i can assure you while making these pleasing remarks mr pursued his course along the deck towards the stern of the boat the wooded behind fled away upon our left before us stretched out the immense blue perspective of the valley vast shadows lay across it soft and misty while here and there the of the great hills a row of on the the flat or the windows of a ch let caught the mellow brightness of the western sun everybody knows the view very well still it remains delicious delicious even though in the tones of one returning thanks for the at a wedding breakfast at one s side i am myself aware he continued how when harassed by the calls of business and by those anxieties which the of the money market necessarily produce in the breast even of the most sanguine and the most i am aware how a few hours spent in one of the se country spots of which our dear sea land supplies so many charming examples will restore a measure of energy to the nervous system and promote a healthy hopeful outlook upon our present form of for though cried mr drawing himself up in a bold and reckless manner and slipping his disengaged hand in between the buttons of his brushed waistcoat r though through circumstances i occupy the position of a peaceful citizen i am by nature a these snowy seem to call me here he waved his field glasses towards the circle of mountains closing in the head of the valley i envy the leaping from rock the to rock with dilated i long to the atmosphere of those amazing and the ocean again added mr the sound of it is as i may say positively in my blood often in my boyhood dear b time when youth s enchanted hand smoothed the light curl the candid brow here he smiled with a kind of a noble often in my boyhood when pacing the arid london pavement have i paused and picked up a dropped from the of the and holding the home of the humble to my ear have found solace and sweet suggestion of liberty in the murmur of the shell poetry my dear mr believe me in the end we must all come back to that and a very wholesome thing it is to come back to fm sure very wholesome we turned and i perceived the daughter of my eloquent companion in the open space at the far end of the deck beyond the shadow of the she was seated upon a low at a distance from all the other passengers a study in brown holland under a large black and yellow nobody was in attendance miss for once was alone mamma now is different resumed mr travel for her has few attractions a home loving the the fireside the bright flower border the vegetable garden these content the heart of mamma as does the round of her domestic duties a wet sheet and a flowing sail fine old song that mr and full of the true british spirit exercise no fascination over her and so we left her at the hotel this afternoon we did not bring her with us indeed he added lowering his voice i may tell you in confidence mr you are a man of the world which is equivalent to saying that you know something of the feminine nature i was not altogether sorry to part my two ladies for a little while to day not altogether sorry to part them a passing cloud no more i am sure quite passing crossed the face as i may say of our family happiness just a momentary lack of of sentiment between the child and her maternal parent mamma had heard the confused of an the sex will gossip as you of something that happened last night mr looked sharply at me last night | 32 |
indeed i said a in short a scene repeated mr a scene i inquired you were there i believe mr certainly i was there all the time your the daughter played to us as well as i really think only your daughter can play the boat up at the of just below the extensive of the grand des mr held on to the and the on coming passengers among them chanced to be the retired surgeon general of die army his face showing leaden under his white mr leaned out over the railing and to him with his umbrella then he addressed me again you relieve me of anxiety he said greatly relieve me mrs is slightly wanting in at times and she has perhaps views of the duties of a belonging to less advanced and cultivated social conditions than those in which it is the habit of our daughter to she questioned again mr looked very sharply at me a mistake he added and one which i myself should have been incapable of committing though not perhaps an unnatural one in an anxious mother and ah i here is our good friend the doctor i see as usual no naughty i trust your eye in those delightful ah i eh no naughty chapter ii i approached miss her reception of me was not enthusiastic in fact for some seconds she appeared unaware of my presence she had taken off her lai e lace hat and thrown it ofi the deck beside her her face and upper portion of her figure were shaded by her the yellow and black of like the short curly hair about her forehead and the n q e of her were uplifted and softly dropped again by the warm wind her head was turned away i could only see the outline of her cheek she had i remember the collar of her yellow silk thereby exposing rather more of her throat than is customary in morning dress a bunch of was stuck in her they drooped with the some were crushed and broken as though in sympathy with their for miss drooped too was crushed too her whole attitude this in the most touching manner to recognise in this withdrawn and pensive figure the player of the evil witch music of night or the capable the woman who had me so leave her to manage her own affairs was a heavy tax on my imagination if change is essential to charm in woman then miss was triumphantly charming for her capacity of change was as the steamer bell ceased ringing and the decks began to with the working of the engines miss turned her head she gazed at me her eyes were full of tears her dark were gathered into little points by those she had already shed you do not care to talk i said your father tells me you are over tired you would rather have me go away no she replied there are things of which i must speak to you i should not myself perhaps have chosen to day for i have hardly arranged my thought as yet i can hardly see my trouble or my action still less my future the girl paused and two tears rolled slowly down over her pretty red brown cheeks in perspective it is all too close to me as yet still perhaps this opportunity is given me purposely i dare not reject it it is improbable we shall often see each other alone again i had not been feeling altogether friendly towards i had doubted her and that on rather ugly grounds and i had not the least proposed that our interview should be of a the sentimental character but listening to her modest hesitating speech seeing her evident distress of course i softened towards her and was moved to sympathy i am not a stock or a stone so how the devil could i help it whatever course events may take i protested it will not be my fault if we do not meet often hereafter you are hopeful because to you it is a light matter said miss on the contrary i am hopeful because i am in a normal condition and am therefore qualified to judge of the of things you are somewhat over tired yes i am cruelly tired the girl assented then be advised my dear young lady and do not yourself with the discussion of burning questions just now tell me whether you slept no well i almost feared as much and then let me do my poor best to entertain you let me talk to you about the weather about our de voyage whose voices so under that truly beautiful tin about our friend s new play of which writes me word that it is to be a brilliant success picture that the foolish things of this world do indeed confound the wise at times i your memory happily cannot carry you back to that period but i well remember the s first appearance like the in the he had a but this appeared to me to constitute the whole of his dramatic and now we are called upon to hail him as the coming play is it quite kind always to to asked very softly poor dear has survived so many smiles that one more will not greatly affect him specially as he will remain serenely unaware of it moreover i am past the appeals of friendship at this moment i would offer up the reputation of my nearest and dearest to afford you a little amusement to my extreme embarrassment the girl bowed her head dragged her handkerchief out of the bosom of her and fell to weeping in a perfectly audible manner pray pray don t my dear miss this is too distressing pray control yourself i feebly | 32 |
entreated it is always the same she moaned really my position was rather frightful i i had hoped that for once you would understand and treat me seriously after last night but it is useless nothing makes any difference you always play with me because at heart you always despise me despise you good heavens of what have i been guilty now that you should imagine i despise you the when i saw you coming she sobbed i knew it would be very painful i could not speak at first but i thought that the opportunity had been given me and that i should gain strength and tell you and that you would approve for once just for once and that would be my compensation but as fate would have it there was a vacant near by i fetched it i sat down beside i took her and held it over her all of which was unwise but under the circumstances what man of feeling could be a slave to discretion that possibly better but certainly very cold blooded part of the sun was so that the americans and the clergy with their feminine and even the preferred the shelter of the to the glare of the open deck for this i returned thanks close scrutiny would have been just then now tell me anything and everything you like i said i have been an idiot in trying to divert your attention to indifferent matters turned to me with streaming eyes she was among the very few women i have ever known who are not spoiled by crying i instinctively the so as to shelter us i the both not so much from the rays of the sun as from the remark of possible i asked bread of you and you seemed to give me a stone it was too hard i lost myself no wonder you are over wrought i answered you went through a most s experience last night and behaved you will not think me guilty of impertinence in referring to this with a courage beyond all praise the girl s mouth gathered into that strangely sketch of a kiss ah i how precious it is to hear you say that she i don t like the word it has a suspicion of vulgarity about it nevertheless i must employ it she whispered i began to speak i was on the edge of committing myself to statements of a vastly foolish description but miss stopped me by raising her hand be silent i you be silent that was a slip it would be unworthy of you to notice it knowing that i am as you said just now put it down to my sleepless night and overlook it she paused and i feared the tears would again break forth but in a moment she continued with really gentleness all that is closed finished after the events of last night finished for ever only sometimes the for an instant one forgets if you have once dreamed very vividly of a great good the dream comes back upon you even in your most cruelly hours don t you think so how can i answer you i inquired feeling rather like a and most completely like a fool don t attempt to answer she said truly it is kinder not to do so listen that is all i ask and if you can encourage and approve the hope her voice sank away again in a caressing the hope of your approval has i am afraid for it is very weak of me been the of my action you me i protested the girl smiled at me through her tears in the most manner had the circumstances of our meeting been different i said desperately had you been free to listen to proposals which i was equally and free to make the result of our acquaintance don t she cried shutting her eyes and pressing her hands to either side of her charming head this is a superfluous torture again i entreat you to be silent i am bound i bound myself last night after you went was in a terrible condition upon his frenzy which you witnessed there followed an alarming the pro ml in one and the same breath he told me is it to tell you this that he should die without me and implored me to break with him he said it was wicked to marry me and yet declared that without me he would die indeed i feared he would destroy himself she waited shuddering closing her eyes s ain pressing her hands s ain t her head i dearly for the first time what a fr future must inevitably lie before me she continued speaking slowly and in hesitating accents while she gazed into the vague over the glittering expanse of the great lake i felt and for the first time dreaded the gloom which must for ever us i and he we shall travel through life with this and supernatural companion and what repose what security what possibility of spontaneous and fearless gladness can there be in such a life for i shall be for ever face to ace with the probability of a dark and swift catastrophe catastrophe i said assuredly miss answered my nerves are not of iron though i am eventually they will give under the strain put upon even the most reasonable mind must be affected by constant contact with at last i may i shall be by the terror which haunts my husband to me also it will take the on bodily form and then will kill either me or himself i was stricken by sudden after all one human being is as good as another in a | 32 |
certain sense each life b of supreme value to its possessor all have equal ri ts why in the eternal justice of things should this pretty and clever girl be required to pay the price of her lover s misfortune he adored her i know but did that create so tremendous an obligation on her side it might be very fairly argued that he adored her to please himself is right you must not marry him i cried with conviction poor dear fellow it is tragic for him horribly tragic but you are in no degree responsible for that you must not marry him the risk is too great you must your engagement no no she answered l must not my engagement it must stand i must marry him and at once in the excitement of the conversation we had both risen to our feet we stood near each other and for a perceptible space of time looked full at each other the girl s cheeks were flushed her eyes were swimming in tears yet they danced was brilliant just then the wind her abundant hair while her hands plucked almost fiercely at the drooping in her belt the are afraid of your she asked me afraid of it at last my i am very honestly afraid of your happiness being wrecked that is wrecked already she answered softly now i am only trying to save what poor remnant is possible of saving from the wreck i do not reproach you though it is your doing don t protest you told me you would listen keep your promise that is only just listen i perceive only one way to gain your respect perhaps your admiration it is a bitter way flesh and blood can hardly endure it yet i take it is your friend not i i am interesting to you have been so from the first merely on account of the relation in which i stand to him miss lowered her eyes she picked the to pieces one by one scattering their green stems and shining yellow upon the grey of the deck you think lightly of do not deny it i know i speak the truth you me at every turn you consider my breeding doubtful my taste doubtful you question my sincerity you my talents in your own mind i do not say you do all this openly you are too to fall into that error but being idle you amuse your leisure by casting me up and dividing the me out for you really care so you do not sacrifice him to your rage for analysis i understand that do not interrupt me i must say it all all this once you think me worldly a mere by marrying by yielding myself up to the horror which him i can myself i can prove to you that you have me and that i am very far from being the cheap artificial half hearted you have supposed me to be chapter iii one does unfortunately arrive at my time of life without having been in some tight places but no place i solemnly declare that i have ever been in quite equalled this one for it pinched me most exceedingly for all that which miss had said was true true every word of it i and we had passed the stage of acquaintance when one can successfully take refuge in denial not even lying of the most and character would me from the very in which my companion s frankness had placed me i do not often lose my temper but now a certain seized on me for was it not really a little too bad that this charming person should thus lock the door on me and set her back against it it is disgusting to me to be compelled to handle a woman other than courteously yet unless i exercised something of brutal masculine force in removing her how on earth was i to get the door open and make good my escape its the my dear young lady my dear young you cover me with shame and confusion i cried you appear to do me the unhappy compliment of ah importance to my possible or rather impossible opinion for the opinion with which you me is positively preposterous quite above its value the girl pressed her hands to the sides of her head again i am so tired she said it is all finished as i told you i have burnt my ships i have accepted my lot why then try to with me why above all why be and b the question good heavens i exclaimed it is not i who beg tiie question it is you dear miss who b it while i am trying to introduce a trifle of common sense into the consideration of it she turned away letting her arms drop at her sides and stared over the bows of the lake boat now heading in towards the row of great which line the gay little and of i you in the name of reason to leave all thought of me out of the business for an instant miss looked at me but how can i i cannot actually assert tiiat i heard those words but her quivering lips appeared to form them the for the sake of argument even i went on that i have been idiot enough to think in any degree any one of the of which you accuse me what does that signify as against the very real and serious matter of your marriage you are pardon my sa so straining at a and a with a vengeance bear with me if i speak plainly marry because he loves you if you wish to do an heroic act of kindness still better marry him because you | 32 |
love him and pity carries the day over fear ah i how little you understand murmured miss really i believe at times i have the right to congratulate myself on possessing miraculous strength of character or is it only the strength of alarm not of character the daring of the turning worm the of the mouse in a comer i can t decide anyhow i finished my address but to marry him as proof to me that you are not the kind of person you imagine i imagine you possibly may be is absurd and grotesque an unspeakable and impossible folly you cannot be guilty of it i refuse to permit you to be guilty of it and how will you prevent my being guilty of it the fair asked with rather astonishing composure the the flower like the the early early morning and exquisitely seemed suddenly to have passed away from miss the change in her was to roughly an but i was keenly aware of its presence tell my poor dear parents what you have just told me at first they will neither believe nor understand you you will involve yourself in a series of silly scenes which will make our party the comedy of the whole hotel tell that will be very simple he will destroy himself she paused and meanwhile you will have the inward satisfaction of continuing to think of me just what you have always thought i do not propose to give you that satisfaction are you not slightly i inquired it was not nice of me it was a lapse of good manners but upon my honour i could not help it miss put one hand over her eyes and threw back her head her throat was round firm the colour of it a warm delicate brown delicious in the sunshine which for i am afraid i was my office of umbrella enveloped her graceful figure from head to heel you are certainly she retorted i the but ail men are that i believe if an unhappy woman so far forgets as to obey the of no pass that by forget what i was nearly betrayed into saying i should be thankful to it myself let us reason together coldly and sensibly since that is your pleasure and i will show you why you cannot and must not seek to alter my resolution again s bright eyes filled again she spoke in modest hesitating accents you know how hard society is how commonplace in its judgments how blind to high purposes how of pure and elevated motives you know how it hates to have its imagination by action that is touched by you are a poet you must have suffered from all this at times and so you must have seen how if a woman it is very painful to me to speak on this subject if a woman leaves her home because the demands made upon her are degrading or because her husband is wicked or because like the heroine of s wonderful drama she against the narrow conditions and paltry occupations of domestic life society looks doubtfully upon her other women her and draw aside their skirts even should she give herself to or enter a religious house she is still suspect but if she leaves her home because she pleases some other man society looks the not so hardly on her fault often in a little while quite it in the eyes of the great coarse world we are your slaves yet success with a man that a man should desire us in a measure even the most scandalous conduct pausing in the midst of this surprising essay upon contemporary morals miss stooped and picked up her hat she straightened herself up again and languidly drew the long pins out of the crown of it where was she coming to i felt very nervous the door of escape was by no means open yet it is very much the same with a girl s engagement she went on if she it because she that she and the man whom she has promised to marry are not calculated to what marriage might be has sometimes been in all its exquisite completeness in its profound though hidden poetry if she to do violence to her own ideal of love she is accused of cruelty and caprice women treat her with a mixture of pity and contempt men are familiar or surly with her she is a failure and society has no mercy for failure but if she breaks it off because else cares for her in obedience to his will she is justified in the opinion of the world of her friends of her parents in that even of her rejected admirer the when raised her eyes to mine again they were as stars of morning no wonder poor worshipped her at times she looked at him thus i she was indeed of a quality to turn the head at this moment in the wind and sunshine the blue lake behind her the pale deck before the gay little town its carved and its rows of shutters and bright its line of magnificent quivering whispering sliding by on our right as the steamer up at the pier had her moment of triumph she was absolutely and lovely she is a success society smiles on her and her for has she not upon her the hall mark which all will acknowledge it is well to be loved by one man it is just doubly well to be loved by two and the girl stretched out her bands thank heaven there was a movement on board passengers acquiring hand bags in general prior to so nobody i believed with relief i believe so still specially noticed our proceedings and she is very very grateful mr her | 32 |
happiness is secured it is completed instead of being wrecked these are things to turn one s hair grey even the contemplating them after a lapse of years let me take breath so very much comes into this question of marriage that one s brain fairly under it for a woman it is probably as remarked an undertaking but for one of us oh my brothers it is well what is it not personally i am for a primitive state of society i know that were you to take off my clothes and send me up a tree to pick nuts i should go very hungry myself while those dependent upon me would almost certainly starve yet i look back not without yearning to the epoch of innocence when man and woman gaily parted gaily even as those most of living creatures the birds do for the bond of as understood for many hundred years now by the more nations specially those of the saxon race adds a terror to life to pass two or three days in the divorce court would be about as much to my taste as passing them in the old fleet ditch yet how can a man of average sensibility be expected at a given moment to know and make up his mind finally and in respect of womanhood and the affections is a mighty and marvellous goddess who that has once in ever so small a degree beheld her glory shall dare worship her under a single aspect only or in a single place the of course there is the ancient theory does it not at least date from the days of of the one man the one woman and i have to cherish it since it appeared to offer a practical solution to my moral and difficulties like the hero of a certain evil and exquisite romance the title of which i refrain from mentioning i set out early in quest of the one woman who should satisfy all my all my tastes all if you will have it my latent masculine who should me at first sight who should hold me then and ever after i have sought her diligently and i admit it reluctantly for it must sound most fastidious i am seeking her yet this quest indeed has become a fixed idea with me it presents itself as a matter of course at sight of each new and charming face and the number of new and charming faces which offer themselves for inspection is really delightfully great it presents itself even in respect of faces already fairly well known to me under circumstances of a peculiar or character it presented itself very distinctly to me now on the sunny deck of the lake boat as miss s soft voice faltered and she stretched out her hands in that most moving action of appeal she was so varied so so uncommonly clever at times so pretty her prospects were the of so hopeful and encouraging a sort and then had she by chance spoken the truth not only in respect of my reading but of my of her might not by chance her picture of herself be a more faithful one than that which i with my wretched little habit of being too sharp by half in the business of picking my neighbours to pieces had drawn of her surely it was very generous after all my silent and at moments my thus to give me another chance i and then the the well nigh irresistible flattery of thus finding the object of a young and lovely person s affection is there anything on earth quite so agreeable for a little while at all events after the first blush of the affair one usually becomes sensible of make and conceivable no i i protest there is not and so it came about that for the space of at least twenty seconds i asked myself quite seriously whether it was not possible that here here in the daughter of et of the lively rat and excellent clock moon improbable as it might appear at first sight i had found that which i had sought so long and vainly the of my nature the and perpetually being the for me one woman those twenty seconds were immensely pleasant the i would willingly have extended them but alas for that at once so and so detestable doctrine the doctrine of perpetual twenty seconds were the limit and then the in which my mind had hung was rudely disturbed it went on working i mean that eternal see saw which i call my mind did it suffered a invasion of rough doubts tumultuous questions which beat upon it as with heavy clubs for after all when i came to consider it no miraculous change had passed over or her parents or my friend or myself or our mutual relations or our prospects or our or our surroundings all these stood precisely where they had stood that which we had been both in regard of ourselves and each other that we still essentially and were there was no the circle it was all not otherwise but just exactly so for how was i who had never yet given myself away of all men to give myself away thus bless my soul contemplate the inevitable consequences i how was i who had always myself on maintaining a nice standard of taste in friendship of all men to steal his and play the part of a king david to the of poor dear no no it was really a trifle tiresome but in truth i had the neither moral courage nor was i scoundrel enough for all this and then with a blush of shame i remember it for it small credit on either my head or heart one | 32 |
of those trivial incidents occurred which so completely and immediately the fires of my not perhaps very strikingly nature miss i apprehend had found these twenty seconds longer than i did she became restless she grew it was very somewhat impatient of my silence the grey deck where the hem of her brown holland skirt touched them were strewn with the of her of she put out her right foot and in a nervous and i am compelled to add somewhat awkward manner pushed the green stems aside and crushed the shining those women who are possessed of well shaped feet kindly permit one in the present day to be fully aware of that agreeable fact and it occurred to me that considering her pretensions to fashion the opportunities afforded me of beholding the fair s feet had been distinctly limited now i understood why whether nature or her was in fault i cannot of course pretend to determine i trust the former for with nature clearly there is no arguing whereas any human being possessed of the powers of speech and can with and in extreme the cases change their miss s boots or shoes i think they were shoes were wide easy trodden over their square toes turned badly i could write a on the subject of boots they are an awful revelation of personal character otherwise concealed come out in the shape of a heel leaves tracks across upper in moments of illumination i have detected in a lace and in a button the s shoes did not betray the presence of any mortal sin let me hasten to add but since judging by the rest of her costume i could be in no doubt as to the of her purse they disclosed a vein of of insufficient pride of lack of perception they were the shoes of one whose promise is better than her performance of one capable of alarming briefly they didn t do and in the theory of the one woman it is necessary that the whole should please in detail as well as in its completeness and what a relief yes i had reached that stage already to be able to pack the manifold and into the compass of a here was a detail which displeased therefore miss was not the one woman it was undoubtedly soothing to have the matter thus definitely settled but it was anything but a the graceful to convey the assurance of that settlement to my companion is it conceivable that women really enjoy refusing their admirers if so they are strong minded judging by my own but i from further comment suffice it to say i am conscious that a certain which must have been perceptible in my attitude and manner though i am not endowed with a of what is known as expression and died and miss i was ashamed yet how oh how i blessed her must have been aware of that of a fine flame please give me my mr she said suddenly hastily the sun is very hot she sat down drooped down upon the camp stool again i was horribly afraid she was crying as i handed her her umbrella but i am not sure i avoided looking at her i really had not the face to do so for i knew i must appear utterly to her i appeared so to myself in spirit i poured forth volumes of against myself of contemptuous wrath upon my own devoted head i found it in my heart to wish the lake boat might strike upon a rock and founder and that i might sacrifice my life i am a singularly poor in saving that of miss this was iso the a cheap since i was aware the lake of is deep beyond all possibility of from the above cause during these twenty seconds and more for the silence lasted i certainly paid a heavy price for those other twenty seconds of delightful mental to speak was of necessity to and to was little short of an insult i might have gone away but to go away seemed to me a course of action at once and so in rich discomfort i waited the bell had rung we were steaming westward once more while and its in the distance the civil marriage will take place on thursday at said at last has gone there to day to see the and make all necessary arrangements he has been resident in the district for a sufficient length of time there will be no difficulty or or delay the religious ceremony will take place here on friday the girl looked up our eyes met you will ht present she added softly unfortunately i cannot be i replied i leave by the mail to night i shall be in paris on my way to england no no miss cried she rose to her feet and faced me the her tearful mood had wholly vanished she became that which she had been the night before almost alarming almost tremendous notwithstanding her youth and remarkable good looks you shall not escape so easily she said i have borne much from you but i refuse to bear that you shall not slip away comfortably and amuse yourself perhaps with some other friend friend her voice took a most of sarcasm elsewhere while you leave me to lift the great burden which you yes you have helped to force upon me and alone i have a claim on you we need not discuss the exact nature of it since you i think hardly dare deny its existence and i require you to meet that claim to the full this is not revenge this is justice bare justice you shall be witness of | 32 |
this business to the very end you shall see what i do hear what i say i will leave you no for for doubt you shall recognise my worth you shall admire my conduct i will compel you to admire it suddenly s eyes filled and her mouth gathered into that really delicious suggestion of a kiss i was carried away in spite of myself i admire you already i exclaimed you are extraordinary you are again for a moment the girl s appearance grew absolutely dazzling the ah i she i have wrung that out of you at last say no more do not spoil your admission either by or by explanation leave it as it stands submit to be spontaneous for once i her tone changed became pensive modest full of hesitation you will remain mr and take part in the the sad for some of us it must be sad ceremony of friday will ask you to be his best man and you will accept meanwhile you will help me i think you will this is tuesday so after all the time is short you will help me to prevent my poor dear parents arriving at any premature knowledge of the truth they must think that i am happy that that i am glad and i fear they are growing suspicious to day mamma but i will not trouble you with all that you must me lull their fears to rest miss raised her hand laid it upon her eyes i am very tired she said we have talked enough she turned her back upon me so her yellow and black that it offered an barrier to further conversation and i strolled away to the stem of the boat there lighting upon pin and the i the surgeon general in full discussing the of the traffic and the still greater ones of our venerable late radical while listening to their though conversation i bowed low before the genius of i could not her she was beyond me consequently for masculine vanity instinctively from the feminine creature it has not the wit to she was not and never could be for me the one woman yet she was i owned it a woman of ten thousand for she could play a losing game she could show herself great in the hour of defeat chapter iv it is really rather to find how having once though for the most perfectly legitimate object started a disturbing line of thought that line of thought refuses to quit you finds perpetual occasion for itself you in short as though it had started you instead of your starting it for instance i had been very thoroughly into the question of the one man and the one woman on the lake boat that afternoon it would have appeared that having so satisfactorily closed the question i ought also to have disposed of it and have been for a time at all events delivered from its but it was not so it was not so i might have closed the question but very certainly i had failed to dispose of it i had relieved my feelings in a to an imaginary fair one in the small hours of the night yet notwithstanding this remedy the difficulties of construction i find extremely to an imagination no wonder this particular form of poetic has been dear to the im the distracted lover of all ages i discovered next morning that in truth the question still retained the very strongest disposition to dispose if not of me still of my time and thought i on the after breakfast the morning was positively divine the air having just that hint of an edge to it which agreeably convinced you notwithstanding the heat haze dancing over the brilliant landscape that and snow fields were after all within easy reach and that edge to the air far from soothing a slightly heated fancy is liable to produce des and provoke a feverish restlessness across the green lawn just below the young russian lady of the scarlet silk and black wandered bare headed she was innocently employed in picking ox eyed and heads from among the grass and as she plucked them she indulged in of song sad with the sorrow of long northern as it seemed to me and the endless monotony of the i do not attempt to trace out the association of ideas it may have been a revolt against the melancholy of the folk song it may have been an of colour vivid scarlet against vivid green the strong note of black heaven forgive me if i begin to talk like an art critic in skirt and hair affecting my brain as a might it may have ix the been a certain in the action of the figure stooping and pulling at the flowers i can t pretend to say suffice it that my soul was invaded by a crazy longing to live to give myself away to be dangerous i went back upon the position of yesterday and it was borne in upon me it has often been so before that i am but a paltry creature the product of a age i know so well what to avoid i know so very ill what to do i fell to his d the courage of her that perhaps is the best way of stating it even his enthusiasm for the league and rich enjoyment of the of even his inherent oh to be positive for once instead of merely or negative i when candid persons tell me so i wish of course to beat them but in the privacy of that evil quarter of an hour i accused myself of being thin and myself answered that in truth i | 32 |
was morally and in respect of all action thin very thin indeed and just when i was touching the lowest deep of this unpleasant but no doubt depth of self when i was becoming literally out by the heavy weight of my own enter unto me mrs she the emerged from the glass doors of the and beaming dear me now mr she exclaimed this is what i really do call a piece of luck i have been so wishing all the morning i had some lady friend to talk it all over with and you see i have nothing but acquaintances here and i never can get over the feeling it isn t very suitable to be intimate with the people you just meet travelling you see you don t really know anything about them nor how they live and how many servants they keep and how they behave at home it s so easy for anybody to look respectable on the continent and re so afraid if you take to them it may make afterwards aren t you all of which certainly did not come very much under the head of adventurous and vigorous living failing other female acquaintances of well position good mrs took me i was to the modest position of the safe she gossip to that of the maiden aunt for a moment the eternal masculine in me for the eternal masculine does exist just as actually as the eternal feminine though it happens at the present time not to have so fashionable a as the latter arose in revolt but in my present condition of self it only for a moment had fallen very low in my own estimation i was almost willing to regard myself as the nothing better than an example of and you have always taken such a kind interest in our dear young people she continued that i know you will be pleased to hear everything is so con settled she confronted me her worthy with smiles but unfortunately the searching morning light did not suit my present companion as well as the scarlet figure that had been my late inspiration and torment mrs s appearance invariably suggested the thought that she was wearing out her last year s sunday gown the present example of that economical habit was green enriched by steel and ornaments in the region of the waist where they took the form of strings of bearing an to full dress her grey hair smoothly on the brow was in hue from the too lavish application of some it was moreover surmounted by a lace and ribbon cap in form and colour curiously resembling a egg what remained to her of her raised to a permanently surprised height pushed her forehead up into innumerable lines i found it impossible to dislike mrs she was too perfectly simple and genuine a being yet to me just now she proved for the tone of her profoundly the voice her comfortable and somewhat figure even the last few words she had spoken recalled irresistibly to my mind that mysterious the monthly nurse whom to my terror i meet at the which the house of my excellent little married sister unable to my mind of this association of ideas i answered mrs slightly at random i am delighted to hear it i am to understand you then that they are both doing very well oh very well mrs replied with indeed mr between ourselves i think s a very fortunate girl for has really being doing better than could have been expected the phrase was a little astonishing but i retained my presence of mind good news upon good news i exclaimed this is capital so it is and i am sure i feel very thankful and so does mr her eyebrows still higher for of course we ve had our at times mr you see we lost our dear little boy as an infant so she s our only child the tenderness of the maternal passion found quite moving expression in mrs s homely countenance i o the and being so remarkable and gifted as she is we have sometimes wondered whether we ought to let things go on often and often since we ve been here mr s woke me in the night to talk about it specially since mrs ms came and we couldn t help seeing what an interest mr took in mr s a dreadfully poor when he has anything on his mind i am sure if i ve asked him once i ve asked him a dozen times my dear what does make you so restless and he always answers s marriage mamma s marriage it s not too late yet to interfere she must not be permitted to throw herself away a most proper sentiment on the part of your husband i said i am so pleased to know you think that for sometimes i have been afraid mr was inclined to place his hopes too high and that it wouldn t bring a blessing you see there s a great deal said about not taking too much thought in the bible and i it is because i don t understand very quickly these new do explain a great many of those difficulties in the they tell me but sometimes i was frightened lest we should be asking too much for here mrs placed herself in a chair hers was not the style of figure which can be described the i i as gracefully permitting its possessor to sit down i cannot pretend that mrs was classic in her attitudes she invariably sat up her smiles had rather beneath the disturbing influences of criticism now they shone forth again dear me she exclaimed how pleasant it is to have a little chat i though i don t know that i ought to be so confidential | 32 |
with you mr only as i say youve always taken such a warm interest in our young people that i can t help feeling as if you were quite one of ourselves now and then i always do think you can say things to a bachelor like you you couldn t say to another gentleman and you re older you see she added on in the matter of compliment i m sure i don t know how i should have felt about leaving alone the other night particularly after what they told me afterwards if i had not known you were there mr mrs beamed upon me while thus me i seem to remember as a small boy just such an air of complete and candid satisfaction upon the face of the hall clock in our house at when about to strike the dinner hour i fear i was greedy child and may therefore have transferred the sensation of satisfaction resident in my own breast to the face of the clock i am and wiser now when i the come i don t transfer them they are too rare i keep them for myself therefore i was very sure it was no reflected glory which now illuminated mrs s countenance and a revolt of the eternal masculine in favour of the gratification of curiosity for a change had very evidently come over the spirit of the dream since yesterday afternoon i sat down beside mrs and tried by gentle arts to induce her to reveal more clearly the cause of chapter v ti tell you see said she what mr v v felt was that s marriage did not explain itself i should have thought if the young people loved each other that was explanation enough i am sure when mr and i were engaged our friends took for granted that was explanation enough and so did dear father and mother too but things move on so fast nowadays mr vm sure i never quite know where i am mrs sighed you are not alone the pace is hot and the time spirit leaves many of us somewhat breathless i remarked my companion probably knew as much about the as about the theory of but mrs had a gracious habit of taking the will for the deed she comprehended that my was consolation she was therefore in a measure at all consoled yes to be sure she replied and mr i the has kept on saying to me we owe it to ourselves and we owe it to s very charming and cultivated circle of acquaintance to show a really solid reason to show sufficient cause ah shade of m de for mr always pointed out i never could quite understand why being clever should make so much that in the case of such a girl as her friends wouldn t recognise affection as very much of a it seems a pity doesn t it so it does ten thousand i rejoined very cordially the good woman beamed again dear me with all your nice feelings if it isn t too intimate to mention it it does seem a loss you ain t married mr there must be plenty of young ladies who would be so very willing you indeed i ve more than once thought if it hadn t been decided long ago mr and i for there s no one i ve seen for a long while i ve taken so to but then it is all decided you see and i laid my hand on the arm of my companion s chair i regarded her as i believe with an air of delicately mingled gratitude and restraint for this was the very last road i wished to travel down with mrs the it is all decided i repeated and so as to these ah yes fm sure i shall always remember you as a very kind friend after to day mr well when he d seen the will mr said to me directly and i was rather nervous overheard but then he s very sensible i don t think he s at all sensitive like some yoimg men might be he said to me it all lies here mamma it all lies here i will admit this really fine income explains s choice unquestionably wealth explains much to the mind of the modem world i remarked i am very pleased you agree with mr she said with great cheerfulness til tell him you think s friends will be satisfied and i can t help hoping that may make him less excited than he has been lately he is so very about her friends being satisfied after all what is truth that we should be so desperately anxious to speak it absolute truth became in all probability many thousand centuries ago very truth is the utmost we can hope to arrive at in our present state of lamentable over development when the mist of opinions has obscured every conceivable question of human conduct and of human relation is not the mere i the attempt to speak it perhaps a refined form of spiritual pride and self seeking better i think rub a little of passing peace upon the soul of the brother or sister who happens to be nearest you by endeavouring to take whatever view of things not actually criminal you perceive will yield them solace however fleeting so i begged mrs to regard me as the of the social gods and bade her rest assured those high and holy would the wisdom of her daughter s choice if the fortune possessed and the he made were really handsome and they really are handsome i inquired they seem so to me she answered but then mr and i hadn t much to begin on at first mr we were | 32 |
in a very small way he used to repeat beautiful lines about love in a cottage which the greatest pleasure to dear mother and father tm sure i can hear her kiss me now upon my just when she had done my dress it was very becoming to the figure but a very inconvenient fashion those day dresses up behind and say to me thank god you will have that in your husband which is better than riches for joseph has a truly good heart she paused blushed a little and her bosom the heaved ah well happy is the woman who has had her romance even if it take the rat like form of a joseph i respectfully averted my eyes until such time as my companion should have recovered from too acute memories of those early and they lighted upon the of the scarlet on the grass at the foot of a grey green tree one of the young stood before her her with impassioned gestures evidently she with him and so far took the form of a silence quite provoking i watched them i turned back to mrs that man at least touched something very like absolute truth who declared it takes all sorts to make a world but of course i was very different to my innocent companion continued i had not her i didn t mind she laughed a little between ourselves i don t mind them much now they make me feel easy but they don t make easy they seem to her and she points things out to me her standard of taste is very high and i should be the last person to that still sometimes i do find it a little you see you never do quite get over the way you were brought up mr and i do seem to have so many i the things to remember people never troubled about when i was young that when i have got hold of one i am pretty sure to forget some other and of course i know that must be to and her father we must all pay the of progress my dear lady i said i trust not too i suppose we must mrs sighed still it s a very troubling thing to feel what you do is a subject of mortification to others sometimes it makes me dreadfully low spirited i do try to feel it s just the cross that is laid upon me mr and to count the many blessings i have to set against it simplicity is i am sure you do i replied in tones of the conviction and among the blessings we are evidently to count these same tell me about them if it is not to do so i am profoundly curious in the matter well yes i m sure you are and i don t think it is with you at least if it is i believe i can trust you not to mention it because i think you are one of those who really do like to give pleasure and naturally you see it s a great pleasure to me to have a little chat over it all and you know i wouldn t say a single word for anything but i had been told the something and the consequence was dear and i did fall out a little yesterday mr took her away on the lake afterwards i he acted all for the best but i felt rather hurt you know i i had been over anxious but she keeps it up does keep things up a little sometimes she s been distant with me this morning even so that i haven t been able to have a nice comfortable gossip with her over it all as it would seem suitable i should have au that will come later dear mrs i asserted just now your daughter is of necessity slightly self absorbed slightly surely you can recall a kindred state of mind under kindred circumstances on the eve of your own marriage i m sure i don t know i am afraid i cried a great deal at leaving mother though i wouldn t have given up joseph mr i mean on any account doesn t ever cry she never has been given to crying since she was a child you know and i suppose i t to want her to but then and i are very different my tears always came easily self control is the order of the day i rejoined and as to these if you will pardon my i am afraid i do wander mrs said i the humbly they often tell me so but you see i have had so much on my mind and mr has been very really at times let me see he gives her i mean does a thousand a year for her separate use that does seem to me very handsome fm sure i don t know what she can find to spend it on i said to her she ought to put away more than half against a rainy day but laughed he has a very free pleasant laugh has but i don t feel quite easy about him he looks very pulled and worn to me i shouldn t like to think he d anything on his mind mr but in those foreign places young men do lead very wild lives sometimes i m afraid take my word for it is a jewel of gold mrs i asserted warmly well i am sure i have often wished to ask you only it didn t seem a proper thing to do but just now it out before i could help it and of course one does hear very sad stories now and then but i suppose it s just his | 32 |
health then the change coming away from those very hot and everything i think he wants care and i am sure i should be very pleased to give it him i often wish to make him nice little things to take and look after his linen if there s anything that goes to my heart it s that a young man should have to on his own and buttons the but i am always afraid he might resent anything like that as a liberty of course there s so much a person of my age can do for a gentleman that wouldn t be suitable from a younger person perhaps when s married i may seem to get nearer to him mrs clasped and her hands nervously upon that which had been her waist it was a dreadful thing to lose our baby mr she said i always wished for a son and though i did pray to be kept from being rebellious i am afraid i have been envious of other women when i saw them with nice little boys of their own his dying seemed to leave me with a sort of and i have felt lately as if or any husband had because of course she might have married otherwise might come to fill it if i could only get near him you know the lady of the scarlet silk had arisen from her couch upon the grass she came slowly from under the dancing shade of the tree and passing with her companion along the sunny path paused at the foot of the flight of steps below us on either hand were wide beds of dwarf roses pink yellow and red behind lay the long downward slope of the great lawn to the alley by the shore in which sauntered some ladies of our company clothed in light summer dresses the by and between whose stems glittered the intense blue of the lake the young woman had taken up her now and the and of her curiously russian speech were as to the attention as her vigorous gestures my thoughts i am ashamed to say wandered i did not hear the beginning of good mrs s next remarks in case of his death and i know it s wicked mr but i do so dislike death i leave to my wife absolutely all i die possessed of it said i mean the will said that is liberal i exclaimed half involuntarily poor there were no no half measures in his dealing anyhow such as his life was he lived it to the full so it is mrs agreed i really don t see how it could be more so and there seems to be a great deal to leave in stocks and shares and and land and mines and so on i didn t attempt to it up for i felt a little overcome you know but mr ran through it all in no time joseph always has been very noted for rapid calculation and of course i know his face so well after all these years i could tell in an instant too he did say to me positively under his breath so i knew it must be something quite above the average and the that we all had reason to be very thankful still i do wish nothing had been said about death mr i pointed out at some length and with i trust the utmost that the question of death has a frequent habit of entering into the question of a will i suppose it has mrs said all the same it does seem a very shocking thing for a young man like to be occupied about just when he s going to be married of course it was very foolish but it gave me a dreadful turn it seemed somehow to bring back these last days when we lost our dear little boy i am sure i don t know why for is a grown man and he was an infant but i seemed to feel as if poor was a widow before she was a wife for the minute if it isn t too familiar to say so and that s enough to give anybody a turn mr don t you think so chapter vi decidedly the middle class should avoid high spirits as a condition of mind and body high spirits are becoming even in the young and noble while in persons of mature age and though maybe respectable station they are liable to d into that which is really very terrible indeed all this was borne in upon me forcibly during the five minutes mamma where is mrs mamma and as so frequently in urgent pursuit of a missing member of his family chased along the terrace below regardless of the evident of their conversation i beheld him draw up before the two raise the grey felt hat with its streaming and inquire mr invariably appeared to entertain the idea that all foreigners are afflicted with so he the said inquiry smiling the while with a sort of intensity pardon pray excuse me the madame t au est oi the young lady looked round in very evident surprise then her eyes lighted on me and their expression was not without as she extended her hand in the direction of the with a sweeping gesture which had the effect of mrs and myself of us for ever side by side la she said la son ah ha i see cried mr gaily mule and dragging on a pair of brown kid gloves he hurried up the steps i see he cried shaking his two fingers i see a sly with mamma naughty very naughty and together they sat quite unaware they were watched by the cat i am not naturally of a disposition but | 32 |
there are hours when the men become as i could have just then an application of the wheel the rack the boot or the thumb screw would have given me rapture i could have him at a slow fire without a movement of compassion all the more so that i perceived her knowledge of the the english language was quite sufficient to give the lady of the red silk a strong sense of the comedy of my position to kill is well to be offended is often and always silly it is not in my power to kill so i smiled upon mr and did my possible to meet him in a christian spirit yes i said mrs has been more than kind and we have had a to me delightful little talk i congratulate you i have been hearing capital news ah i ha i understand he replied she could not keep it to herself the sure will and the liquor on the thirsty soil below well well i own there are excuses for a tendency to on the part of some of us this morning a difficult chapter in our family annals is happily concluded a period of anxiety is past a shadow is as one may say lifted from our parental hearts but i trust my love you have not exaggerated he added in and more accents i would not have a false impression created we must not make too much of it mr indeed there appears to be a most agreeably heavy amount to make much of i remarked an elegant mr said the an elegant our daughter will be in a position to gratify her literary and artistic tastes to entertain her circle of friends in becoming style and take that place in london society for which as i at once proudly and gratefully her talents so eminently fit her this is the reward of my care i recognise it yes yes i own to day you see in me a happy father and a very nice thing that is to see i m sure but now to business my love i am on my way to the boat i mentioned to and she agreed with me that after the flattering sympathy really most flattering to all of us as a family which she has exhibited it was only due to mrs that she should be early acquainted with the rosy hue which now as i may say our daughter s future there have been moments said mr darkly drawing himself up and addressing me as our charming friend mrs well knows only yesterday but let that pass i will not dwell on fears once entertained hope has now taken their place yes mr our dear children will enjoy a very pretty little fortune gold much red gold shall these and the basis of domestic joys well i am very willing mrs should know mrs responded i thought of writing home myself to my cousins and dear aunt the at they ve always been very true to me and quite so quite so my dear and therefore has a brief note and has me to be the bearer of it i have it here he tapped the breast pocket of his coat yes mr without seeking to myself i may just hint that practical experience has given me a not contemptible knowledge of such matters and i have much pleasure in to the excellent business capacity of our future son in law has done well remarkably well considering his age and opportunities i could wish he had displayed less regarding the amount of his income clear information under that head would have spared us many anxious hours wouldn t it mamma is admirably modest i said this remark produced a really extraordinary expression of wisdom on the part of mr he meditated visibly as visibly roused himself from meditation most true he replied i yield to no one in my appreciation of our dear boy mamma will bear me out in that but as one of our greatest poets let not your modesty discretion lest falling from fair favour to contempt you mask a greater by a lesser good the and there has been a touch of a hint perhaps though far be it from me to be harsh of that pride which humility in s attitude to be sure i never thought of him as proud now interposed mrs ah ah my love public life the rub of the world eh mr teaches us men to read men yes very indeed to read them it doesn t prevent most of you making mistakes over women though sometimes the good creature said quite sharply then she repented and looked very mildly at her husband so you re going up by the boat then joseph she added the fashion of a rat had become very apparent in mr but he controlled himself perhaps he meant to speak to mrs quietly alone afterwards this is one of the advantages of matrimony let us be fair to that much institution it gives excellent opportunities for the private of small differences yes he cried with thee my bark i swiftly speed across the foaming call on mrs communicate the information which i am convinced she will cordially i o the welcome and return here in time for the midday meal unless she should ask me to remain i do not think i could very well refuse you know i think we owe it to mrs to accept any invitation of hers you will not therefore feel anxious my love should my return be delayed make my apologies to our end of the table here mr struggled violently almost for all his had returned with the fingers of his kid gloves oblige me by holding my | 32 |
behind the fact i the what is is and there s the beginning and end of it and as i told you in that dead camp i saw the thing too much still one would always like to know why it occurs to one somebody must be and one would be obliged if they d kindly explain that s all s dead face smiled upon me but they don t explain he added i don t want to be but it occurs to one sometimes that perhaps they re not so very much to blame perhaps they can t explain ah there you touch bottom i said you can get no lower you have reached the land of outer darkness where the everlasting despair come out of that it anyhow is absolutely no good put it away from you if it had been proved up to the which remember it never yet has been or as far as i can see ever can be still it would be the part of the wise man to deny it to it to refuse utterly to think of it since when have you turned preacher asked then he added almost immediately i beg your pardon i am an ass one may be in a pretty bad way but it is superfluous to be of the most character and i will endure them like a lamb like a dove like that the creature patient herself only don t lose heart there was a silence s eyes rested on the children playing in the sunshine in the gaily painted boats that must be awfully jolly he said presently one would be glad to go back and yet one would merely have to do it all over again which would be he shivered i drove it away four or five times last night he added but it only went round and curled itself into my back that was the finish i was so tired that little bit of business with the yesterday regularly knocked me up i don t know what i am coming to but i hadn t the energy to get up and move about so i lay still and let it lie and it chilled me clean through not my worst enemy has ever accused me of an passion for physical exercise but there are times when one must do violence even to one s highest virtues come and drink i said and then come and walk even a might find some of the paths on the agreeably you may get warm there in time heaven knows i shall get so soon enough we can but try under the plane trees the infant the away from its own of pebbles came into violent collision with my companion s long l s involuntarily it assumed a sitting position with to unexpected rapidity and force stooped down and picked up the baby which by no means disconcerted by its sudden elevation continued to send forth cries of cheerfulness you re a nice promising little chap remarked the baby ceased its calling contemplated him from under its flapping sun hat with owl like solemnity decided in his favour and out a round moist mouth for a kiss i own to a movement of embarrassment in the face of such frank advances not so he planted a very square kiss on the lips dear little chap kind little chap he murmured the nurse advanced and master so and so for this creature a span long already apparently possessed both a name and rank of its own never minded where he was going oh i well he went most uncommonly right this time anyhow answered as he gave the child carefully back into her arms he walked on at rather a breathless pace he said presently you know the we re to be married to morrow that is before the at i m almost ashamed to ask you it will be a long way there and back and i am afraid you ll be awfully bored but look here i should be grateful to you if you d come of course i replied i will come that s very good of you he said i know will be immensely pleased at your coming she told me she d spoken to you about it she had a little talk with you yesterday so she did so she had i answered and good gracious about how many other matters had she not spoken in the course of that same little talk amazing who from her childhood as her mother reported had never cried i in spirit i over how in the name of fortune would it all turn out we went for our walk the paths between the walls were i have reason to believe that i lost many pounds during that walk and talked of south africa of and diamond fields of imperial of the very nasty habits of the noble savage he was really amusing upon the latter subject of all practical the savage upon his showing is the most professional the most advanced during the whole time he mentioned the putting as i fancied a pretty strong force upon himself neither his approaching marriage nor his dog to luncheon who it may be noted in passing had by the exercise of some secured to himself the seat at the head of the long table did not return and in obedience of a gentle command on the part of the occupied his place the spaces between the windows of the great cool dining room and the inside wall of it were freely with of looking glass from my station down the room i invariably indulge myself with a separate table when staying in hotels i could see s bright dark head and beard and somewhat reflected back and forth apparently to right and | 32 |
left on one side of him the charming face and brilliant colouring of his e on the other the worthy clock moon countenance of his future mother miss talked softly to him her manner was delicious most engaging winning and modest and he listened to her watched her with a sort of rapture he also i believe drank a whole bottle of champagne but so far as i could discover he ate nothing and i knew he was still cold cold as a corpse phase fourth chapter i t his is cried mr when i met x him in the hall next morning in honour of impending events he was clothed distinctly as a citizen in a shiny black cloth frock coat and a tall hat which last he put on and took again with rather feverish uncertainty this might be yet i am bound to confess i found his appearance highly suggestive of that of a successful in manner he was varied in the main but into even my ladies will be with us directly at least if they re not til just run up in the lift and fetch them the fair sex is too often a little just a little deficient in that strict of the virtue of mr which the public duties falling to our lot compel us so the rigidly to practise well well we must pardon them tb theirs to note the of the hour at ease upon the low but by the sunshine s power but by the opening closing of the flower the s faint echo and the faltering fan as sleep the drooping eyelids delicate span mr suddenly becoming quite and eastern and on an occasion such as this we all know how it is he added a bow of ribbon here a there just those those fancy touches which the mirror and from the of which every true woman finds it so hard to tear herself away even mamma is vain i am happy to say upon my word i am proud to say so for that a woman should continue to desire to please after three of married life though tis hardly fair on mamma to let cats out of bags as to the lapse of time in this way eh shows a marvellous freshness of sentiment of what i may call a of disposition doesn t it mr mrs claims my respectful admiration i replied with perfect sincerity good he murmured good good occasions such as that which brings us together this morning and most happy i am i m sure to be brought the together inevitably carry us back in thought and the of tender memories yes i am glad to record my hearty conviction that i was not in error when i invited her whom you now know as to become the partner of my mortal course and jt s not every husband who can say as much as that at the end of thirty mr little and downs he added and downs as a matter of course but on the whole the have it here the arrival of the hotel at the wide open door of the with much grating of the and the of the fat horses collar bells claimed mr s attention he glanced at his watch in an important high official sort of manner then relaxed time yet time yet he said we can still afford our ladies five more minutes in which to complete the mysteries of the has preceded us on foot to the station i have had a word with him this morning he appears serious but that is as it should be i for one would not have it otherwise for indeed i have not from pressing home upon him frequently in familiar conversation the very heavy responsibility which he in undertaking my daughter s future happiness but fair companions i must see to it a the moment to fetch and mamma and i will be with you ain mr au a and humming strange which i imagine were intended to represent s wedding march mr bestowed himself within the painted o e of the lift and was borne aloft vanishing god like in the upper regions of the atmosphere yet after all was it i asked myself this question many times as we set forth a and ill little band upon the morning of that particularly september day for clearly to my thinking it would have been far better had we proceeded in and myself by boat and the others by train or vice i cannot think it fair to keep a man constantly under inspection when he is just about to condemn himself to that form of commonly known as marriage and the of the bridegroom s position were in the present instance by the fact that this was but a dress the production of the piece not really taking place until to morrow i had ventured to submit that it would be a more merciful arrangement did the religious marriage follow hard on the heels of the civil one and did et mire and myself say farewell to the happy pair at the leaving them to set forth promptly upon their wedding journey but the wisdom of the family decided otherwise and i fancy the proprietor of the grand custom fortified them in their decision it was to be a a the little grey english church which stands in such close to the railway that passing trains take a very active part in the service was to be turned into st george s square for the event all would be there friends and enemies alike for what pretty and popular woman but is bound to number a few of the latter among her acquaintance specially in the society of a summer hotel i could have wished to | 32 |
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