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that to which arthur had been listening still there was a blank a fearful blank beneath their roof around them and at their very board such as never did and never could exist where two hearts so closely united beat in together and arthur looked from one to the other and thought if this be love after its utmost wishes are attained better a thousand times to pine to the end of life under a which but comparative and imaginary pain nor was that blank which arthur experienced the only evidence he had that was not right in the domestic establishment at it was not only that points of union were wanting but there were points of difference up form and substance like weeds from bitter roots shooting forth and threatening to the garden whose sickly flowers were drooping and giving place on every hand to their formidable foes more especially when the strict rule of the house with respect to was discussed the fire of hidden resentment flashed from the eye of rose as taking advantage of the presence of a third person she ventured to throw at her husband some of those bitter and which the temper of woman is but too ready to supply and let her powers be ever so weak in other respects here she is strong and from this quiver of poisoned arrows she is able to wound and not to triumph in the enjoyment of an victory i am afraid my sister s sentiments are not e i i the s t in accordance with ours said arthur when rose bad left the table but he soon found that his new relative was not a man whose private feelings or whose household arrangements were to be inter with the countenance of grew dark the expression of his face contracted and absorbed and if he did not exactly say your sister may think and feel she is my wife hia manner implied that as such she was a part of and therefore not to be made the subject of familiar remark altogether it may easily be supposed that arthur visit to was not the most social or yet like many other visits of the same kind so little of a definite character had actually that when he reached home tbat evening he could only speak of poor rose without being able to say why he made use of that expression indeed every one did the same every one spoke of poor rose with an indefinite sense of pity which might perhaps with equal justice have been bestowed the of her fate poor rose i she had married as young ladies do expecting to be more her own mistress than she could be in her father s house expecting to be of more consequence to dress more to be more thought of and to have her more indulged while at the same time she hoped to escape many causes of irritation and annoyance which she believed to be peculiar to the situation of unmarried women and above all she should escape all of what in her green ideas was the to a respectable female that of being an old maid oh noble of motives for doing that which might seal by one the happiness of herself and others for time and for eternity rose had not been a married woman many days before she began to discover her mistake her fi ther had told her in the most earnest manner of th the s importance of the step she was taking her mother had warned her with tears that human happiness is not to he played with after marriage whatever it may he hut she would neither listen nor believe it was her determination to make the experiment for herself and as her choice was in all respects it became the duty of her friends to think and to hope for the best poor dear said mrs to her husband after her first confidential interview with rose as the mistress of i am afraid she has bound herself to a hard lot she tells me that has never relaxed the of his rule with regard to and does not intend to do so come what may now you know my dear as well as i do that this will never do for rose and i think as a father you should inquire into the matter i did inquire into it replied mr before their marriage and having agreed to it then i do not see on what grounds i can interfere now the sense of justice which influenced the father had however little to do with the feelings of the mother on occasion and the bare fact that her daughter in her seasons of weariness and exhaustion had not so much as a glass of her mother s home made wine to comfort her brought tears into the fond eyes of her who had never been able to look unmoved upon her children s suffering or it was a melancholy consolation too to the daughter to treasure up and detail to her listening parent all the of her distress until at last she so wrought upon her mother s tender heart that measures were between them for supplying the necessary support by private means from mr s own store little did the anxious mother know what she w the really doing by this and act to in the affairs of married people is always dangerous but to in such a way was like throwing open the gates of a to an acknowledged enemy and leaving it to his own choice whether he would enter or not yet all this was done by the kindly mother with the most profound belief that she was rendering a service to her child and that if the husband could be so as to deny to so young and lovely a wife the common means	41
of and strength it was the positive duty of a mother of one who could enter into fellow feeling with her child to render those offices of kindness which were denied elsewhere for some time this system went on without any apparent evil consequences the young wife had her fits of bitter weeping but she had also her fits of cheerfulness in she appeared to care little for the trials which at other times she contemplated as almost overwhelming she was pleased too with her dresses and with the court that was paid to her as a married woman and though not quite so happy as she expected she supposed she should get on very well after she and her husband had learned to understand each other a little better but alas how should two such individuals ever understand each other how should half those who take upon themselves the marriage vow understand each other the thing would be impossible even if they tried and to try seems to be the last effort they either of them think of making no they persist until it is too late in each the other to be what inclination pictures and that union which of all others ought to have truth for its foundation is too frequently preceded by a system of self deception as blind as it is fatal happy thrice happy they whose conduct and experience form the exceptions to this rule it may easily be supposed from what has been of rose that she was y the s posed to complain of little grievance to speak out with girlish and to keep no trouble concealed within her own bosom the of which could by any possibility be to another the cold answers however which she from her husband on these occasions the indifferent indeed and the averted look with which he was wont to receive the intelligence of a spoiled a cut finger a perpetual headache and above all a feeling of indescribable depression although it could not stop the fresh flow of these habitual had the of them from the channel which a matrimonial is generally expected to supply i can not tell you how wretched i have been feeling all day said rose to her husband one evening i am almost sure something is going to happen such a weight such a sense of depression such a sinking indeed i can not describe to you how i feel you had better not attempt to describe it said coldly as he walked to the window to look at his sheep this and much more of the same blank treatment which rose was accustomed to receive was of a nature not to be communicated even to her mother in her own language it might be said that she could not describe it it was to be felt rather than spoken of and to be wept over with bitter tears by a weak disappointed girl whose very heart appeared for the first time since it began to beat to be awakened into actual life by the very chill which seemed more likely to have its for ever yes rose began at last to know by her of suffering that she had feelings to which she had hitherto been a stranger and in proportion as she imagined herself and her young heart ached for that confidence from she believed it was her doom to be shut out thus though to her mother she never did so with thb s oat herself for the meanness and the treachery of having spoken against her husband and every time he spoke to her kindly and smiled upon her with that peculiar look of cordial feeling which his countenance occasionally wore she inwardly resolved let her grief be what it might she never would give utterance to a thought to his character again the human mind like a plant beneath the operations of the sometimes under its own sufferings and it was so with rose that while conscious of doing wrong she was equally conscious of more pain than she had ever before experienced from this conviction and with the pain arose more that it was so richly deserved disappointed and sometimes worse than solitary rose was occasionally wrought up to a determination to throw herself and her faults upon the forgiveness of her husband by telling him all that she had ever done in secret contrary to his will but then the thought that after such confession she must be prepared to make her will to his that she must never from that time deceive him again but submit in all things to the law against which her soul these were the calculations which held her back and which directed her again and again to those forbidden means by which she en to drown ber convictions and herself against the condemnation of her own heart still she thought she might reason with him and with this intention she one day introduced the subject with the hope of convincing him that she could not that she actually could not exist without the support of wine only try it my dear said her husband all i ask of you is to try it for my sake for the sake of your own ood faith as you promised me that you would before you consented to be my wife only try it and if your health really fails under it do you believe i could see you suffer and not be the s willing to offer you even that remedy myself i am aware you are a severe trial i am not great a stranger to your sufferings as i seem all i ask of you is to be true to yourself and me and to for three months longer at the of that time it will be proved whether your health has been injured or not i think you are as well as	41
before you married are you not i think i be as well replied rose with much embarrassment if and she seemed un able to finish the sentence she would have uttered if you were as happy i suppose you mean said her husband and he bit his lip and walked to another part of the room he soon turned round however and fixing his keen eyes upon his and weeping wife it is time you should know said he if you have not already made the discovery for yourself that you are not the only disappointed person in our union oh rose i had such visions of domestic happiness but never mind that now you were young and i was the most to blame for i ought to have been wiser you think me indifferent and perhaps unkind but know this from one who is not apt to say more than he feels that you have not a moment of grief in which i do not suffer with you and if i thought that by restoring you to your fat her s family should restore you to peace and happiness there is no reproach the world heap upon me which i would not cheerfully bear for your sake has it come to this said rose to herself for the first time appalled at the reality of her situation but beyond one appealing look with which she answered the fixed and mournful gaze of her husband she had no reply except her tears i am not in women s varying mix ds he went on to say i repeat what i have already that truth is all i ask of you truth toward yourself and me and in the trial you are making for my sake i dwell much upon this be s cause if i had pledged myself to make a similar for you and to test a point which in your opinion was of great importance i should feel bound to make it cheerfully without reluctance and without reserve or else i could not regard the experiment as fairly made for with an unwilling mind and lingering thoughts which pine after some imaginary good we have it is not very probable that we should be able to ascertain whether it was really the good we had supposed or whether the substitute adopted was equal to the indulgence resigned but i have no substitute murmured rose alas no said her husband for my r my truth my affection seem to have lost their value if i thought said rose looking up with more confidence if i thought you had really the affection for me you once professed you would make this sacrifice cheerfully and entirely the countenance of the speaker as he uttered these words was so full of earnest expression as if his whole life depended upon the answer he might receive that rose shrunk back abashed and covered her face with both her hands knowing but too well how she was to promise all that was desired said no more he remained some time in silence in the same apartment but they both fell back into their accustomed reserve and neither understood better than before what was passing in the mind of the other it is a mistaken that women suffer more than men from the consequences of ill marriage that they suffer more is evident from their of concealing what is in their feelings but the which falls upon the heart of man from disappointment here is more and more deep besides which woman re thb s t through all the faculty of able to amuse herself with trifles she has a for feeling on other subjects which drain away some portion of this otherwise overwhelming flood but man stands alone neither seeking others nor sought beneath the branches of the deadly where the dew falls not nor flower nor leaf nor blade of grass give beauty or to the scene it is a mistaken notion too that strong minds de less of our sympathy than weak the character which is strong in power is strong in the shrinking of a small spirit bears as little proportion to the of a gigantic soul as the flutter of the dying butterfly to the fall of the wounded eagle when the shadow of its broken the mountain side like that of a passing cloud without purpose and without effort save to accomplish the gratification of the present moment the wife we have been f sunk into that state of restless and despair in which the wounded spirit against opposition without daring in its turn to oppose too self willed to submit and too capricious to effect what she really wished by any settled plan rose just managed to exist from day to day without even the amusement which her domestic affairs might have afforded her for it had between her mother and her husband that in order to spare her any unnecessary trouble mrs should be invited to retain ner and care of the household at and such was the acknowledged skill and discipline she had exercised in that establishment for many years that little hope could have been entertained of the same order and economy being maintained by a younger and less experienced mistress thus rose was only the mistress of her husband s house and although treated with js much by all parties as if she had really stood at thb s the head of all the domestic arrangements there she was comparatively and left to be the prey of her own thoughts and thought being a she had never learned to control she was not rendered the more happy by for the first time in her life what may be the extent of its exercise and the effect of its development under circumstances least favorable to enjoyment if there be any individual closely connected with us whom we and deliberately	41
deceive that individual is sure to become to a certain extent the object of our dislike and if this be true of our earthly relations how much more is it true relation between the soul and its maker which is the foundation either of our highest happiness or our deepest condemnation the and ill judging wife we have been attempting to describe experienced the force of this law of our nature in its fullest extent she had little cause of serious complaint against her husband so scrupulous was he in all things to act toward her in strict accordance with what he believed to be his duty yet so powerful were the habits she was indulging in their natural effect of the springs of affection that instead of meeting him on his return home with the warmth and cordiality of a faithful wife she too often shrunk away like one abashed from his presence and when she felt as she often did that his sad and earnest gaze was fixed upon her face she would sometimes blush with a secret dread lest he should read the guilty secret of her soul for guilty it was and such she felt it to be to suffer him to continue to trust her on a point on which she knew that she was not nor was this all one deception practised is sure to involve us in the practice of others and a negative falsehood can only be effectually acted out by the support of those which are positive what a comfort it is said one stormy winter s evening to his wife what a t it to come home to such a fireside at mine when one ha heen riding for hours in the rain and now rose let me try for once in my to make you too looked up with one of her sweetest smiles for her heart was really touched by this unexpected kindness and her chair a little nearer to the fire she prepared her husband s tea with more than her accustomed care to render it agreeable nay she even helped him to draw oflf the damp from around his neck and with her own hands placed his slippers beside the fire that they might be ready for his use and all the time while the wind howled fearfully around their dwelling and the rain fell in torrents against the window shutters their evening fire burned so brightly and the old parlor at presented so an appearance that a mere on would have sup posed the two who sat beside that glowing hearth were among the happiest of human beings my poor rose said i have inflicted upon you a and severe trial but you will enjoy the consciousness of having borne it faithfully x ay do not turn away nor think me insensible to your altered state i see that the bloom has vanished from your cheeks i see that you are feeble and often so exhausted and weary that in very pity i have more than once been tempted to you with my own hand the forbidden draught the time has now come which was to form the limit of your trial and in your case i must confess that i think it has failed one thing however i want to my convictions i want your clear and candid testimony to this tell me then dear rose and tell me freely us you would speak to one whose happiness was bound up in yours tell me whether think you are really better or worse for pursuing my system of rose bent down her head and the brightest of the embers upon which she tried to look wai i s or more that the blush of shame which glowed upon her cheek why will y ou not be candid with me asked in his kindest tone and taking her hand he looked earnestly into her face with those deep and serious eyes which seemed of beholding anything but truth my own rose said he again let us be sincere with each other on this subject at least you have nothing you can have nothing to fear would you not like to have the which i know you have felt to be oppressive taken away from you yes said rose with a voice so as scarcely to be audible then tell me the honest truth i think i see it all myself but i may be would that i could do anything to make us from this hour more united in heart and in purpose it is a hard thing for me to give up this my favorite point yet for your sake i do it so cheerfully that you ought to me by being cheerful and frank in return to rose vou shall begin to live as other people do i have been to the distance of ten mil es to order in the wine which your mother thinks best for you because i did not like to order it where i was known and where those with whom i have associated myself in this cause might feel by what i did to morrow then you will be more ho f ill you not dear rose promise me that or i shall be disappointed this interview like others between and his wife passed over without bringing that entire of selfish purpose that of past and that clear understanding of individual feeling which alone have placed them on a happier footing with each other and distance consequently grew between them and motives were mistaken and projects were and absorbed in personal the s family overlooked the trials of the other and believed none else so miserable to rose this state of things was a burden so impossible to be borne without complaining that recourse was still had to the ear of her fond and indulgent mother who naturally leaning to the interests of	41
her child not to express her sense of the with which she was treated in language which not rose something like a of her first statement in the hope of her husband from suspicions which she knew in her heart he did not deserve it is true she was now released from that stem law which she had felt to be so grievous but instead of enjoying the indulgence generously granted her she could not even partake of it in the presence of her husband and thus as e was of any private means of gratification she obtained with him the credit of a voluntary for which he admired and commended her more than he had ever done before all this however brought little satisfaction to the object of his approval and the cold and repulsive manner in which his were received could not fail in time to chill the heart whence they flowed i do not think said rose to herself one day as she turned from her father s door to walk to her own home after a long consultation with her mother i do not think there is any poor creature so miserable as i am and yet her path lay among the of a number of mean looking which formed the outskirts of the town in which her father lived this conclusion had scarcely taken possession of her mind when her attention was attracted by the unusually low courtesy of a poor woman who had l herself on the evidently with the intention of the progress of rose you will pardon me ma am said the i na t i dare say if i take the liberty of speaking to j m for a few moments about a poor lady who is now my she is not unknown to you at least to mr and i fear poor thing i very much fear she is drawing near her last had i not better go back and tell my father v aid rose if you would be so good replied the woman for i hare nobody to leave and her grows heavier every moment rose hastened back as requested and lost no time m bringing her father to the scene of mortal agony for such indeed it was though the increased age and infirmity of mr rendered him more than his kind heart would have prompted had its feelings alone been rose also entered cottage for habitual as it was to her to shrink from everything calculated to excite painful interest she could not in common kindness refuse to be her father s companion on such an errand more especially as the last few months it had become necessary for him to have the assistance of an arm to lean upon whenever he ventured upon a walk of any considerable length rose therefore found herself very reluctantly compelled not only to enter the cottage but actually to ascend the stairs with her father and not even when she heard the laborious of the sufferer and the frequent which escaped from her burning lips could she leave her father to struggle alone with the feelings which threatened to his feeble frame with that sudden consciousness which belongs to a high state of feverish excitement the patient star ed from her pillow at the sound of their steps and in an instant the faithful minister counsels she had in past years too often rejected she stretched out her and quivering hand which he hesitated not to take as kindly as if she had been a more grateful of his former wan thb it has all come true she exclaimed with the most distinct recollection of which had not taken place for years all that you told me has come true and more and worse a thousand times the aged minister now endeavored to speak in tones of soothing but it would not do i am a dying woman exclaimed the sufferer with a voice that seemed to the very air and i am lost through that one of which you have so often warned me i know what you would say to me she continued holding up her hand as the signal for all to be silent that she might speak on you would say that there is yet hope even for me and i know it if i could but think oh if you could cool this burning brain and stop this rush of thought that bursts the bounds of reason if you could purchase for me but one quiet hour and kneel beside me and pray as you used to pray when i would not oh oh and the miserable woman fell back on her pillow in such an agony that the minister believing it to be her last did kneel beside her as in former days and though his voice was tremulous with age and his eye was dim with tears the words he uttered were not the less impressive touching and sincere it is of no use said the miserable creature when he rose from the posture of if your prayers could have saved me i should never have fallen as i have done for i know and i knew then that you prayed for me in your closet even when you had ceased to visit me my poor dear creature said mr addressing the patient more earnestly than he had done before you tell me it is too late you to pray for yourself yet you speak let try what a little effort at composure may do no no said mrs for it was no other than the widow of the neighbor who had so often sat at the minister s social i may be clear i s on what i do see too clear alas for upon me like a torrent and before i can ay hold of one thing another comes to drive it away it	41
it as if all the wasted hours of my past hfe were heaped upon my soul with each its separate burden of responsibility and guilt and here i lie wasted and crushed beneath yet one thing i must say one thing for your sake and that of your children who are growing up to do what thousands are doing blindly every day you know the habits of pay husband well meaning man as he was how he took innocently and with apparent safety what i could not partake of without danger and guilt besides my mind was differently constituted from his and while he could amuse himself with the trifles of the moment realities of deeper import and took possession of my soul to the of a l of usefulness in common things but enough of this you know the gulf into which i fell it was the opinion of you and many other of my friends that i could save myself if i would nay that it was easy to do so but what i want most to tell you now is of that which stood chiefly in my way besides of course the inclinations of my own wicked heart my husband was in a respectable and way to that indulgence which you and all my friends would have denied to me i do not say that in him it was wrong but i do say that when he sat down weary and to make himself comfortable in this way and poured out before me what to him was a lawful draught it was more than human nature was capable of with that aching want which upon me to resist besides which and here lies the secret of the evil i had no more intention than he had of taking too much my conscience was therefore as clear as his from the constitution of my mind and body i had greater need if were allowed to be a plea and where then was the difference because said mr you having knew yoa were in while he was yes i knew that i had but i had ed again and that my sin might be and that l mi ht sin no more nay i sometimes believed that it was so and being did i not stand on the same footing with my husband yes and with as clean lips as his i myself to be drinking what to me has proved destruction what then asked the minister do you believe would have saved you speaking replied the dying woman i believe it would have saved me had my husband been willing to sacrifice this indulgence for my sake had i never seen him enjoy it make much of it or appear to consider it essential to his health in short bad he said kindly i see your weakness and al though i am not weak in the same way et in the hope of assisting you to resist this temptation i will cheerfully pledge myself with you to from such indulgence now and for ever even at the risk of some injury to my health and more to my social and domestic oh sir you are a minister of religion and you ought to know the secret of this mode of the charm there would have been in this bond of union compared with the harsh restraint the separate law the shutting out as it were from those who were of ability to master themselves and finally the contempt the the utter casting out from among the holy and the pure oh sir and the wretched woman seized the arm of the minister while you have life while you have influence remember that it is for poor frail creatures like us to help to bear each other s and that if there is one being upon earth more pitiable than all others it is the wretch who has learned the deadly secret of the worm whose wings begin on this side the grave by perpetual to the draught i she s with these words the sufferer fell hack on her low so completely exhausted that mr and his daughter after waiting some minutes in si i prepared to leave the chamber but no sooner had they turned away from the bedside than the started up in ail the of delirium and calling upon them to stop in a voice that was scarce ly human i have one more word to say she shrieked again and again one only one it was in your house and at your social parties that my husband but here she lost herself and off to other things becoming in a few moments so and wild in her that it was less difficult for her friends to escape from her presence which they did without being observed but not with out taking precautions before they left the cottage to have places supplied by more suitable and efficient help it was in perfect silence that the father and daughter walked that day from the cottage where the dying woman lay to mr s own door here the father stopped and turning round to rose bade her with great earnestness go home and fetch her husband as he wished all his children to be with him that evening struck with the solemnity of her father s manner rose obeyed his command without hesitation and her father on entering his own room shut to the door having first requested that he might not be upon unless by a messenger from the house of affliction until a certain hour m the evening that hour arrived and the family were assembled as usual arthur being at that time on a visit to his and also being there for she ad returned with her interesting charge to their native country under the happiest and although the society of had become almost essential to the happiness of	41
she had been permitted immediately on their landing to repair to where a welcome awaited her the s from all her friends not the less cordial be cause she brought with her the cheerful rs of health and the hope of a continued life of enjoyment and usefulness so entire on this occasion was the of the minister s family that but for the altered character of the countenances which met around his still hospitable board it might have been supposed that time had stayed his course and that only months instead of years had rolled over the fair and the manly forms assembled there yes it was indeed a for but one link had been broken in the chain of social fellowship and though widely different had been the by which had from the paternal hearth thoughts of kindness excited in early life and affection the most sincere had brought them back at each with stronger feelings of interest and deeper convictions that there are no so warm as those which are formed in childhood or in youth if however there could have been any doubt as to the lapse of time since the early of familiar acquaintance between the minister s family and their friends at one glance at the venerable head of that family would have been to convince the of that weight of ears with no trifling burden of r and it had been his lot to bear he was vigorous in mind though feeble in body and when he looked around upon his children a smile of peculiar lighted up his countenance to give place in a moment to an expression of the deepest concern as he entered with eat solemnity upon a de of the scene he had that day witnessed and now said he rising up from his chair the object for which i have asked you to come together would be if i did not to you my children that i have this day been convinced for the first time in my life of the duty which rests upon christian professors and upon the the minister s ministers of religion in particular to from all appearance of evil even in that which is no evil to us for the sake of those to whom it is so provided only this can be done without the sacrifice of principle my children it is late in life with me to make resolutions these gray hairs and these withered hands are my warning that with me it may be too late yet as he by whom all holy desires are i will be my help i here pledge myself to entirely not only now but until my dying day from thai indulgence which to the poor sufferer now on the brink of eternity and alas to how many others has been a root of bitterness and a cause of spiritual death when i look around upon society and think how many my example in this respect may have influenced the picture is most appalling yet what else can do than repeat my pledge that what has been shall be no more and i do this solemnly and i hope with humiliation before god simply upon the principle which influenced the when he said if meat make my brother to offend i will eat no more so long as the world stands among those who witnessed this pledge of the aged minister there was not one more seriously affected than poor rose i never until this moment said she with clasped hands understood the principle of total before but her exclamations were interrupted by the sobs of who stood behind the rest and who struggling with her grief came forward to add her testimony to the truth and the value of the principle itself you all remember the habits of my poor brother she began and here there were other tears besides her own to answer that he was indeed remembered there he was doubting once whether he would make a determined stand against this temptation or not and he told me himself that a single evening spent in religious society decided him to the s go on in the course which ultimately proved hit ruin let us all unite with my father this said rose in the resolution he has made and i will be first since i need it most hear then my confession and with her hands again clasped and her eyes the penitent the real penitent went through her her father and her family a full and confession of what had been her sin and her and not until her pledge had been added to her father s and she had returned to her husband and buried her face on his shoulder did she give way to the tears which were now welcome and refreshing as dew upon a desert land i too said as he supported his weeping wife have confession to make it is to my shame i that i have endeavored to enforce my own wishes as the law of my household without ever explaining upon what principle those wishes were founded that i have used force rather than reason to bend others to my will and that even with my wife authority rather than persuasion has been the means i have adopted to induce her to unite with me in this great object it may be some satisfaction to you all to know that i have had my punishment but i am sure it will be a much higher satisfaction if i can induce you to believe that the wife you have committed to my trust shall for the future be associated with all my thoughts and all my purposes as she ever has been with all my the resolution of the aged minister although contrary to ihe wishes and entreaties of his who ly believed it would be the means of his	41
it firmly that he was more and more insignificant than any one he met it is true the village considered him a perfect model of beauty but that only his vanity the more for few things are more than to be admired for the thing we most despise in ourselves lest our clergyman should be reflected upon for having nothing better to do than fill his head with these trifles we will turn to other scenes in his life for was a character which deserves to occupy a nobler page of human history than that in which he has already figured let us then follow him home after his public services in the on a sunday afternoon in summer home did we say it was a mere lodging in one of a row of small brick houses separated from the public road by a strip of garden ground a and a little gate beside which grew a tall red first within this little a passage with floor led to the apartment occupied by the where it might be seen that only the poet but the ar spent his an old which had formerly stood open to display its china store now enclosed large volumes of unintelligible ter upon which the mistress of the house was accustomed to look with reverence and something like devotion on the sabbath evening however all except the bible remained perhaps even that was studied less than on other occasions for with the evening of what to others was a day of rest to the poor there was a sense of and exhaustion both of mind and body which made him long more than at any time for the social and kindred fellowship of domestic life at such times he used to take out his mother s picture too sacred to be generally exposed and it over his mantel piece would sit and gaze upon it until the mute image seemed to glow again with ufe it was a delicately small picture of one oi the loveliest and of her sex the kind of picture which makes us feel that the voice alone is wanting but then we know so first what that would say we hare all its sweet tones so present with us that it is better this should be left to our memory than supplied even if it could be so by any stranger sound forgot that night to take down his mother s picture and lock it in his desk his mind was more than usually occupied though it would have been difficult to say how or why and once or twice he detected himself with a strange even while gazing on his mother s fair soft hair he detected himself comparing it with some locks he had that day seen and wondering which gave most expression to a lovely face the fact was a vision had that day presented itself to his view which he could not easily forget in directing his eyes for a moment to the squire s directly opposite him in the church he had seen that a stranger made one of the party and unless the transient glance he ventured to direct that way had greasy deceived him the additional seat had been occupied by the figure of a young lady of uncommon beauty it seldom that looked at any particular member of his congregation for he was not or regardless of his sacred office in the church and besides the all absorbing and impressive earnestness with which he dis his there scarcely one of ik b who composed his audience possessed sufficient claims upon his interest to ex even a passing thought often often did he wish the case were otherwise that the people around him were more he was wont to call it he forgot that heavenly spark he sought to in their hearts by his public was capable of a energy and refinement even to their intellectual powers on the morning after the sabbath the dull morning which to the solitary another long and almost vacant week he was surprised to see his mother s picture still hang ing where he had placed it on the previous night he allowed it however to remain and after his late breakfast had been taken away he fell again into one of his long fits of musing from which he was suddenly startled by the sound of horses feet close up to the and the smart of a riding whip against the it s the squire exclaimed mrs running breathless with haste into the s apartment it s squire of the it was indeed the squire as he chose to let every body know for before the good woman impressions had tied her and exchanged her blue apron for a white one he had fastened his horse to the gate and was thundering at her door with the heavy end of his whip at the same time indicating by certain sounds of impatience that he considered himself a man whose time was not to be with well my good woman said he his wrath as the door gave way is the parson at home eh in another moment squire of was ushered into the s little parlor rising from his seat with respect to the importance of his guest good morning sir said the squire why bless me you re rather low here i always told robinson when he built these houses he was making them too another foot would just have done it and this window why the is of old wood perfectly worm eaten and yet the fellow has the face to ask as much rent for these houses as i get for mine in duck lane it s a beautiful said really wondering whether the man of importance had come for the express purpose of examining the interior of his apartment first impressions very fine morning said the squire still looking this	41
families we often see that intimacy links together particular couples was a youth of eighteen as unlike herself as possible for instead of the steady cheerfulness which marked her countenance and conduct he was subject to fits of boisterous mirth with a degree of which wearied the patience and provoked the anger of all but his sister it was thus that margaret as she was the t companion of his mirth had become the of bis penitent moments for poor robert was not altogether ihe careless low he chose to make himself appear bat like many of his stamp of character he would often have been glad to have with his pride could a return to order and good feeling have been effected without his dignity being it was on robert in particular that the wholesome of the was expected to exercise a influence for hitherto the pleading of his mother and the threatening of his father even accompanied by the crack of his great riding whip had failed in producing the desired effect and nothing but a quiet hour spent with margaret in the fields or among the few tree walks seemed ever to produce the least effect in bringing down his haughty spirit from the state of irritation to which it was sometimes excited by causes the most insignificant and unworthy in themselves on the morning when made his first call at margaret and her fair cousin were amusing themselves in the old parlor or rather of the hall in a manner congenial to their different tastes margaret was enjoying a t ion ss hearty h t brother s while stood beside of the old bay windows some flowers in a china and occasionally complaining with a gentle sigh of thb of arranging flowers where there was no one to admire them while both were occupied in this manner ate loud and always important step of the squire was heard along the hall and the door being suddenly thrown open was ushered into the presence of the ladies and while the young perhaps the most gentlemanly who had ever been presented at the advanced a few paces the room he was greeted in a manner by no means so startling to the inmates of the house as to himself an old past service in the field immediately started up from the hearth rug a surly cur with tail erect be to examine him from knee to foot and the dog with which margaret was at play restrain d with by her arm s around its neck did all it to the confusion by barking with all its might in vain the squire advanced his foot to one animal his to another betrayed the thing he would have wished to betray that he was alarmed or a nt v i w first n from indicated l r with his situation while margaret finding the scene was likely to assume a more serious character than she had anticipated ran away with the most boisterous of the animals out of the room ah well sir said the squire placing a chair for his guest you must not be afraid of dogs if you mean to be a here afraid said with a look of ble disdain to be afraid is one thing and to be stunned with their noise is another very true sir very true they are a little noisy i confess where is your aunt v and the worthy gentleman out of the room leaving the with the very being in the world he would least have wished to under the charge of being afraid of anything in the whole created universe though extremely was of being awkward and he soon found a subject for easy conversation in the flowers which miss had been placing in the they were many of them wild flowers and his taste for led him to imagine that the same fascinating pursuit must have induced the fair to seek her in the fields however all first ion object of pursuit and she did well for flowers to her had no value beyond their beauty and their scent but for the latter quality the artificial wreaths displayed in a ball room would have possessed quite as many attractions as those which herself but with this fact was not acquainted nor was it one that he was to believe among the many gifts which nature upon the female sex there is a of taste and perception which serves them in many of the minor affairs of life as well as of a higher character and perhaps better possessed this gift she saw in an instant what was pretty and what was not what was well arranged or otherwise and thus she knew by a sort of instinct what ought to be worn and what ought not imposed upon as many others have been by the peculiar nature of this perception attributed it to higher powers of mind and feeling and thus while the conversation that morning was the extreme of common place he fancied he could discover in the remarks of his companion that delicacy and of perception for which he had hitherto sought in vain and then to find all this in with such a form and face was it that the dark clouds of v at men about at to be wa pr did of a sa oo upon his path to show him the real i its gloom j t chapter ii t was about a after e as to th young gentlemen at that the win g con took place between the two sins as they sat in the window of sleeping room where wreaths of ivy the rays of the mid bay i cannot think said margaret why you do not wish your my brother james to be known still down at the work she was taking in pieces as with heightened color and	41
lip she the world business with my affairs and it may never come to anything even yet a ah said margaret looking earnestly in her face is it then as i hare lately suspected that you would be glad to be at liberty from this if so do tell me and i will assist you to the utmost of my power do tell m th truth what notions have margaret i you i never such a thought still less such a wish then why were you so angry with me for alluding to it mr my brother james is surely not a man to be ashamed of i never was ashamed of him and yet i must beg of nay i must insist upon it that you li my secret for a short time longer you are am sure you are wrong you may call it delicacy if you please to act as you do but to me it appears the reverse when a is engaged is she not aa much to be true in thought word and feeling to the man of her choice as she is really his wife and can be so true when other men are ignorant of this ie consequently mix with her in society as to receive most flattering kind tions and pray what i he h of m it r me with thin lecture you haye sat with op at and he repeated by your have sighed over very things which you w would touch bis you gathered favorite flowers h hey had neither t nor beauty nay margaret you are you mean to say that there ib any harm in i do mean to say there is harm in it with your fine eyes and his romantic feelings pie as any of these single may be is harm in the manner in which they are r harm which the bare knowledge of your would at any time prevent you surely do not flatter me so far as to suspect that ma be the it is no flattery it is the ve ry o of flattery in my mind to suspect yon of acting such a part as to a stranger into a attachment to yourself and am i for all the foolish fancies a stranger may entertain about me you am sa fu as concealing m bam him your may be the means of exciting hopes which you have not the most distant idea of ever and if i mistake not has sorrow and and trial enough without being die appointed by you yes and i all the better for that melancholy which hangs about him he would lose half his interest with me if he was always cheerful and contented beware yon have been my play fellow you are my cousin and my friend but i will not stand still and see you act and cruelly to this stranger i will not describe all that i see and hear to my brother james for that might make sorrow and mischief for your future life but if you do not take care i will tell that you are engaged and i will do this as much for the sake of your honor as for that of his peace margaret uttered this sentence in that tone which a sense of opposed to unfair dealing is apt to inspire while her cousin supported by no such feeling bent down her head in vain to appear wholly occupied with the work she held in her hand it was in however to produce any of i on tbe mind of when the gratification of h x even her had while on the ne hand it the oc her mind and character to be the wife of james and the ofi hall m the other a deeper was for the moment afforded by the in it was but too evident she had obtained over the the young on his more blind the rest of his sex had he not the care by which tl s i as maintain and wholly of the m t of miss s as well aa moat of her truth he allowed himself to dwell only on that dark view of the picture which he imagined his own he was now fully in his of of dined every day at the and spent the greatest part of every evening in wandering through the and giving lectures on to and her cousin so far his occupations wore exactly suited to his taste but when accident brought him in with the of wild of the nobler sex during their hours of m liberty when robert his skill to take aim at some passing bird when one asked him to his father s hunter and another clapped him on the accompanying the action by a hearty and tion for having done some manly or daring act then it was that s rose that his pride against his and that he determined to put up with poverty and loneliness for the remainder of his life rather than endure the coarse familiarity of vulgar minds like these the fact wi had never fired a gun in his whole life and what was still worse in the eyes of the he actually felt too much tenderness for the birds that flew past him to desire to kill for mere sport robert alone of all the lawless troop used to look gravely in his face while all the others were laughing and once or twice he went so far as to say he did think it was a shame to kill animals that were not game and such as there was no fun in killing farther than that his sympathy with s feelings did not extend but still he was the most of his pupils during their hours of study except when those moody fits were upon him tb e all the family except	41
margaret at bitterly complained i know i make everybody unhappy me he one day to his sister as they worked m their garden and i wish i was dead or gone to be a soldier or somehow or other out of the and i shall go soon if my father ever does as he yes he exclaimed both his hands and raising himself to more than his natural height if my father ever lays his whip upon my shoulders if he ever dares so much as to touch my coat with the lash that day will be the last of my sleeping beneath his roof and eating of his bread but where would u robert asked margaret with great simplicity i know replied the young hero with a mysterious shake of his head would you go to my grandmother s in margaret again my grandmother s exclaimed robert and his whole figure became with as he repeated the word again and again far other thoughts had robert and far other associations were beginning to give a tone and bias to his character than those connected with the excellent old lady to whom his sister i m m t so of was ia habitual mode of thinking and acting at a early age had been sent to reside with this venerable relative whose position in society enabled her to obtain for the squire s only daughter a better lion than have likely to afford it is true that beneath her father s roof she was the subject of a kind of discipline which did more to strengthen her character than improve her but for all the gen tier graces of her sex she was indebted to one whose happy influence extended long beyond tiie period of her own life margaret was thus far in advance of the rest of her as right views of human conduct though still but a child in and experience and it was perhaps one of her greatest advantages that her had not been by ft tendency to the world to her was clothed in no romantic color ing judgment had received no bias torn her feelings her strongest was her love of truth thus could speak directly and on a of right and wrong without setting the fear t f man before h r and what is of more import t any of mental first mysteries or secret by the fair page of woman s character is so often obscure and liable to wholly unworthy of the position in society and the influence she is capable of maintaining margaret had none of these to her clear perception of the fact that while her cousin kept binding the engagement of long standing between her and her cousin james she was not acting a true and honorable part to carry on that system of of feeling with another which although the world could find nothing in it to lay hold of as a serious charge against her was in reality creating a false impression and feelings which but end in and distress all this was so pain fully apparent to margaret s clear and upright mind that she one day went so far to con suit with her brother robert upon the propriety of to the circumstances of her cousin s engagement nonsense replied robert hastily what is to you why can you not him to the consequences of his own im prudence was it the of her brother s man si n ner was it indignation or what could be the cause why margaret s face was on this occasion with a deeper blush than had ever burned upon her cheek before she made no reply however but secretly determined from that moment that should take the consequences of his own rather than that she should be the means of him from in trouble it was on the same evening that margaret took a walk alone to the village of on some business of her cousin s for as she had been rather severe with her that day she was anxious to make some by for her some of those little upon which whether in town or country was always ready to employ her friends it occurred to margaret when in the village that she might as well add to her other kind attentions a call at the s in order to take home the impatiently expected novel which by this humble means and this alone was able to obtain the s cottage or rather cabin was certainly not the most inviting place for a young lady to visit but margaret having been brought up in the parish of as among her own people had no fear of any of the in first impressions of that village either late of early at home or abroad the cottage of jacob situated at the outskirts of the village was approached by a narrow lane in which resided some of the least respectable families in but knew a little through the churchyard and by the fields which would conduct her to the s door without having to pass any other by this path then she directed her steps and had just closed the little which led out of the churchyard into a wide by many paths when her eye was attracted by three young men hastening at a brisk pace toward the public road and one of whom she could not doubt was brother robert the other two she felt equally sure were the young but what could her brother be doing in their society it is true he had often shared their rambling sports when quite a boy for squire had never been very select in the choice of companions for his children and robert had often ridden his favorite pony through the village and even lent him out for experiments of among the boys while he joined in their games feeling all	41
how to be a friend to any one but if i could in any way serve you i am sure my respect for your office in the church my feeling for you as a stranger and alone first impressions s say no more margaret i will my heart to you then that i am tho last of my father s family a ruined family au brought down to distress and finally to death by one gross and fatal vice your father yes my father and my brothers too i hare heard my mother say they were noble and gifted youths and one of them had a gen heart as ever beat within a human j cannot well remember them for i was the child of years and i think my mother upon me with a love to all she had lost and wept over my father s death i can remember well he had fallen in returning home and was found by some workmen in the fields and then my mother took me with her to a small mean dwelling in the outskirts of a little town where she took in work and used to sit up half the night her heart was all the while in the church of which my father had once been a minister and all her industry her daily care and nightly toil were to supply me with the means of filling the station my father had once filled with credit to himself and benefit to others it was on my tenth birthday i remember it well a clear bright day in july like other children i was longing for a birthday treat and early in the morning i saw my mother preparing a little basket with provisions as if for a dinner in the and my heart bounded with delight and many long miles did we walk that day yet neither of us seemed weary for the air was fresh and clear the birds sang over us and our path was either through fields among the rustling com or along green winding lanes and all the while my mother talked with me about the trees and flowers the streams the skies and all things beautiful and bright around us but most of the good god who watches over us and knew the secrets of our hearts at length we came to a village i never seen it since it stood in a green valley two richly wooded hills the church had a tall spire and it was among the graves around this venerable edifice that my mother had brought me to spend n birthday we sat down upon a bank beneath an old and after having refreshed ourselves with the provisions we had brought my mother me for the first time the sad history of my family of my father and my brothers shame and of her sorrow she told it gently so gently as none but a faithful wife and mother could first impressions have told it yet for my sake she spared not the sin and all its sad consequences this painful duty discharged she then led me to a grave and bade me read the inscription on the at the head it was my father s grave we knelt beside it together and stooping down with our folded hands upon the marble she required of me a vow that i would never through the whole course of my life in illness or in health in sorrow or in joy so much as taste of that draught which had been the ruin of her husband and her sons most most gladly did my lips pronounce this vow and then i rose and asked my mother to point out my brothers graves that i might offer it also upon them my er passed her hand across her eyes while i stood waiting your brothers my child said she are sleeping far away one in the deep sea another beneath the glow of skies than these let us return we did so and from that day i never my mother s door after a week s nay even a day s absence but her first question even before she pressed a kiss upon my cheek was whether i had kept my vow t even when my graver studies had commenced and i was separated from her sometimes for years her first impressions question was the same before folded me in her arms or took me really to her heart now nearly three years since i was called upon to part with my last earthly friend my mother s health had been for some time declining and scarcely a month after she had seen me in s orders she breathed her last with that vow upon her lips as if she imagined to be repeating it beside her and now margaret what i wish to ask you is whether you think the member of such a family has any right to hold a place in respectable in refined society i think said margaret that the of such a mother provided he keeps his vow has no mean title to to be one of the excellent of the earth perhaps i have not yet asked you all said faltering will you tell me frankly whether you think a delicate and even a reasonable woman would not for the causes i have stated to you reject me as her husband v i think said margaret promptly and with her accustomed that any delicate woman provided she was reasonable might be proud to be your wife thank you margaret thank you a times i will now go in with you and t impressions with your sweet cousin more happily than i have ever done before stay one moment said margaret but no what am i doing another time i will talk with you not now and she repeated to	41
her self her brother robert s contemptuous words what is to you that you should be in his affairs still it was not in the nature of a mind like margaret s to be happy under the conviction of having neglected so an opportunity of telling an important nay a necessary and her self reproach was by no means lessened on beholding the altered bearing of the she had thus injured on his part was like a prisoner let loose from bondage he met the cordial welcome c the squire in an open manly manner he with mrs on the general of her domestic economy owing to the impossibility of her own personal he met the boisterous of the youths with something like their own uncouth humor but above all he approached with the air of one who could meet her almost on equal terms and when her books were opened and their titles and character discussed he astonished even his warmest first i i n era by the and eloquence with he could express himself when literature it general was the subject of well done parson was the exclamation of one of the youths after a burst of such eloquence but even this expression of rude approbation and the smart slap on the shoulder by which it was accompanied could now receive not only with good nature but with a sort of easy grace so was thi whole aspect of the world softened and to his once vision he was indeed an altered man the glance of his eye was bold and intelligent his voice deep toned and clear and the whole expression of his countenance lighted up with that wild and spiritual beauty which belongs only to the highest order of human intellect and human feeling what have done said margaret inwardly yet pleased to behold this fresh evidence of what she had always believed to belong to the character of i have allowed a spark to into fire and it must now be my stern duty to it all by the conviction that this cruel task must be discharged before her mind could be restored to peace margaret entered upon first impressions engagements of the following day which proved to be one of interest to the master of for some years past the game on this estate had been liable to the of and although no man threatened more loudly than the squire and few valued ihe preservation of their game at a higher rate attempts at detection had hitherto been ed in a manner which sometimes exasperated his temper against the whole surrounding neighborhood while it quickened the of the young on this particular point to a degree almost equal to that of a north american hunter now however a crisis had arrived in the state of these important affairs suspicion had fixed itself upon the young and one of them had actually disappeared under a conviction of deserving the doom impending over him the other perhaps more wisely remained on the spot and with something of the cold impenetrable aspect of his father every endeavor to bring his to light like a lion from the shot of an unseen enemy squire put himself into that kind of passion which he was rather of exhibiting he thought it gave first i i n him dignity and importance in his family and as he met none to oppose him the tide of lie feeling being universally against the he went foaming about his house more uncomfortable than if any one had the part nor was it long before another outlet was afforded to his indignant feelings by his son robert s actually lifting up his voice and saying he was a fine fellow after all the who had and worth twenty of such men as his father and the other son in an instant the ponderous riding whip of squire was raised and this time th action was accompanied by no empty threat it fell again and again upon the shoulders of hit son whose cheek turned pair under the this was in short the only means of which mr had ever dreamed of in his family it had had its effect was followed by its natural consequences for the first time in their lives the young had acknowledged a government in that of their and perhaps the very reason why they did acknowledge it was because of its as well as its justice besides which there was an intellectual superiority in the mind first impressions conversation of to which hours of they yielded a willing submission at the hospitable table in the old of in the stable among the who often was indeed an insignificant being open to contempt by every act and liable to betray his ignorance whenever he opened his lips but in the school room it was curious to behold the mastery he exercised over those youths delicate and slightly as he was perhaps none of them felt this so much as robert simply because they were less capable of intellectual superiority and when the boy was in his happiest moods he would often prefer the society of his to that of the most skilful in his father s stable it was about a week after the occasion of robert s receiving his father s that he lingered longer than usual with margaret in the tree shade where their garden displayed its rose bush now stripped of leaves and its blooming in spite of winds the brother and the sister had both been unusually silent for there was a in the scene altogether which seemed to have touched even their young m t ion minds with sadness and margaret partly from the want of something else to say at last minded her brother that his school hours had commenced i don t care much about that to day replied robert carelessly i want to talk to you	41
about my mother margaret looked up in amazement mrs al was a person talked about by any one especially in her own family and robert spoke in a tone so different from his usual man ner she was wholly at a loss what to make of it yes margaret he continued i want to talk to you about my mother it has struck me during the last week more than it ever did before t at we are au very careless about her health and happiness that she has all the trouble of the family and that we make her but little return you are right dear robert said margaret i have often thought of the same thing myself and i have tried lately to help her a good deal but assure you it is very difficult never mind that you must try more and more for old age will come and if you do not think of her declining health who first old age robert what makes you think of old age ta day surely that is far enough off weu never mind that either mind what makes me talk of old age today bear with me a little longer i shall not trouble you in this way to morrow what can you mean robert i am sure some strange thing has come over you you ha e been so different ever since my father don t mention that margaret i warn you neither in jest nor in earnest to mention that i want to be quiet and to keep my temper now as robert said this he drew his sister s arm over hie shoulder and placing his own around her waist they in silence down the tree walk until he suddenly recollected the of the hour when pressing a hasty kiss upon her cheek he sprang across one of the garden beds and joined his brothers in the school room it is scarcely necessary to say that he was unusually absent that ing though at the same time his behavior to his was more respectful and considerate than it had ever been before himself however was too deeply absorbed in his own secret meditations to be any very critical ob of the of his and the first impressions peculiar state of robert s mind would liave been wholly unnoticed but for a very circumstance which occurred in the afternoon of the same day happening to be more than usually occupied and a mysterious kind of general movement in the house rendering s situation there rather an intrusion than otherwise he retired to the school room for the purpose of indulging the train of his own pleasant thoughts not doubting but that the evening would bring its accustomed walk and thus reward him for his patient endurance of less congenial moments like all self constituted heroes of romance was in a state of high poetical excitement choice and and to the nameless one floating through his brain mingled with images the most attractive and brilliant which the imagination of poet or of painter ever up pens ink and paper lay before him it was a relief to write down the of his fancy until ry and disgusted with the of words to express what was laboring in his heart he tore the paper he had over and then stooped down and gathered up the from the floor lest thoughts too first impressions sacred should be exposed to vulgar don intent upon destroying every of this work of his own hands he was scarcely conscious of having taken up a scrap of soiled and paper along with his own until it had been torn in many pieces when his eye was suddenly struck with rather an extraordinary kind of and the words at six on the evening of friday the the of an is easily excited that very day was the sought for the other fragments and was so long in finding them that the evening closed in before he was able to put the whole together so as to discover any meaning to the words it was a mean and barbarous hand and would scarcely have awakened interest enough to excite a second thought but that every fresh word added to the conveyed a sort of half hidden import which could not fail to awaken suspicion even in a mind like s after examination however no address could be found and determined to regard the whole as from the stable or the kitchen and consequently altogether to him satisfied with this conclusion ho was first impressions along one of the walks in the tree garden when the figure of margaret suddenly crossed his path i have come out in search of you said margaret for i thought it was only right to tell you what all this bustle in the house is about we are well met then said anxious to avoid any detail of household we are weu met for i want you to the mysterious characters on this paper or rather to interpret them when they are for that is the great with me then arranged the fragments of paper as well as he could and placed them in margaret s hand her quick eye glanced over the words she understood them but too well and laying upon a solemn charge not to disclose to any human being what had but to go into the house and when the family had gathered round the tea table if any one asked for her to say that he had met her on her way to the village she wrapped her shawl more closely around her and flew with almost supernatural speed down the field which communicated with her father s garden the village of was situated in ir t impressions a narrow valley between two distinct of ground which terminated at the dis of half a mile in a lofty and	41
rugged cliff at the base of which rolled the ocean still the character of the simple inhabitants of the village was almost exclusively pastoral though a few scattered huts between it and the sea were evidently the of those whose occupation was connected with the great deep the bias of public opinion was not very favorable to this portion of the community and if the fireside gossip of the village of had been worthy of belief strange tales might haye been told of on that fearful of scenes in which the perished or even the had not had fair play at the hands of their brethren on the coast but chiefly of exploits with all the successful and unsuccessful by which the iron hand of justice had been altogether that part of the country which lay between the village and the sea had acquired a character by no means attractive to the timid and the and scarcely in broad noon of summer would a delicate female have trusted herself alone upon that beach yet to this very spot it was that margaret al i bo first i n witli breathless i was regardless of the gathering gloom of advancing night of the dreary heights she had yet to cross of the perilous descent to the shore and of the dark hollows and deep which broke the majestic of the cliffs on all or any one of these margaret never once bestowed a thought her mind was set upon reaching a particular spot before the hour of six and though she had often in girlish traversed those wild paths in company with her brothers she knew too well the nature of that descent not to be aware that a single moment lost by the way might wholly defeat the object of her enterprise the wide ocean was now before her blue and and revealing none of its dark secrets to her eager gaze there seemed to be a speck upon its bosom she held her breath for a moment it was a nearer object there were two two figures on the path before her could one of them be her brother she hastened on they were two amazed to see her there they have stopped and learned her strange errand but she passed them so rapidly that they were too much bewildered to speak arrived at last on the very edge of the t impressions margaret looked down at a fearful depth be low her was a boat upon the beach one man alone remained with it and he stretched his head as if watching impatiently for some one in the distance now was the difficulty of the path to be tried margaret began to descend it required all her natural and strength to make sure her footing and often was her own safety by the hurried glance she cast to the to see if other forms had yet appeared half way down she to take time to breathe again but no they are coming they are coming and he is with them p again she hastened on there was a splash of the oars a suppressed greeting and robert had already set his foot upon the edge of the boat which had been pushed off among the when a loud shriek from the cliff made all the party look and look again for the increasing darkness and the blackness of the damp rocks rendered it difficult to perceive any object distinctly at that distance that was my sister margaret s voice said robert if i know one sound from another and what if it was v said one of the sullenly those who with us must not be kept back by the scream of a silly girl g impressions i ll tell yon what said robert by this of margaret was never yet called a silly girl by those knew her and i won t stir an inch until t hare seen her safely at the bottom of that and her father and his pack of bounds along with him said another of the men in another moment margaret would hare been too late but now at the very point of time when the proud youth had been as he considered it insulted by his comrades his sister was by his side her arms around his neck her tears upon his cheek and her kind voice whispering such entreaties in his ear as none but a heart of could have resisted at the same time young who was one of the party in the boat used every species of that rude eloquence of which he was master and which consisted chiefly of vulgar sarcasm to his victim once more into bis toils indignant at this interference from such a quarter and at the unfair advantage thus taken of her brother s youth and temper margaret turned a fearless look of defiance toward men from whom almost any other woman would have shrunk appalled especially in such a place first i n off off said h with your vile boat or you will repent of your delay repent of it shall we said young and the party joined in a chorus of laughter gladly would margaret now hare retreated for her courage was at last beginning to way but seeing that her brother still hesitated whether to accompany her or them she roused herself again in the hope of them to push off without him she had besides her watch and some money in reserve to offer as a bribe but her great spirit was not yet so fat subdued and she said again in a more voice than before i know you james disguised as you are and i tell you if you do not push off this instant i will utter a shriek that will bring other eyes upon you besides mine this threat had its weight with	41
the wreath she still held in her hand there was to gratify the vanity of woman but what was there for her heart first a nearer portion of the landscape displayed the village of the cottage windows gleaming in the sunshine and the chimneys sending out their upward columns of white smoke contrasted with the purple of the distant woods one line of buildings so mean and regular that seldom looked at them were now distinctly seen from the scattering of the summer leaves had one of these the humble lodging of the been more worthy of the mind which dwelt within how little would she then have thought of the rich domain where stood her future home to her however mind was comparatively unimportant only so far as it gratified her vanity the more to be admired by a man of cultivated understanding thus when she weighed the good and evil of her future lot it seemed to her sometimes a triumph to win the affections of than to rule as the mistress of hall but you cannot wish to be loved by one man and to marry another said margaret who always pressed the subject home in the plain language of truth i am sure you never would be so wicked as to do hat always replied with p to such remarks for nothing is more to have a fancied and romantic good set before us as a positive and vulgar would every woman whose own heart is a treacherous had a friend beside her as faithful and plain spoken as margaret yet margaret could be romantic in her own way for what woman cannot but it was only on subjects of high moral feeling that her enthusiasm burst forth wherever or cruelty met her view her eye flashed indignation and her high soul against the of society which kept her as a wo man feeble and helpless wherever she saw the delicate and the sensitive by the powerful and the rude she took part with the weaker side but especially where she beheld woman to that high character of purity and with which her imagination invested her and deprived of which she believed that woman must ever be contemptible in society and unhappy and de in her own mind then she was an indeed for the warmth of her heart knew no bounds in her of good or her contempt of evil margaret knew within her own heart that she herself could have been faithful to any man t i n she deemed worthy of her love through poverty and neglect through trial and don and strong in this conviction it was for her to understand how her how any woman indeed could weigh in the balance where her affections were engaged either houses or lands or any other earthly good this was her kind of romance but with the case was widely different and therefore it was not very likely that the ments margaret made use of should have much weight while the broad fields belonging to hall and the deep woods which surrounded that dwelling lay smiling in the sunshine and perpetually in view more especially when they were so strikingly contrasted with the humble habitation of the rate of james too had an influence peculiar to men of his stamp an influence in the position he assumed in society and which no one appeared disposed to dispute with him an influence in the fine horses and the fierce dogs which formed so important a part of his establishment an influence in his own person bold front and manly bearing as well as in the commanding voice and manner and the general movement and shock in the established li t order of things which attended his whether he was morally a great man or er he would have been great apart from all ad circumstances few people were au enough to inquire for the loud tones of his the crack of his whip the of his high bred the tumult of his dogs and his own personal size and weight with all the flourish of fearless assumption made way for him wherever he went and the young squire of was already begin to in importance the more experienced proprietor of the other half of the estate perfectly satisfied with his own pre eminent claims upon the admiration of the female sex in general james was not likely to suspect that any lurking interest in favor of the young clergyman could for a moment interfere with his influence over the mind of nor in reality had he much to fear on this ground s heart was but too deeply engaged in what she believed to constitute the sum of worldly interest her taste might be gratified her fancy might wander but all the affection she was capable of was if not to james at least to the master of thus it was that the preparations for the first impressions marriage went on without or delay one of the most painful thoughts which flashed across the mind of in with this subject was that he himself would be called upon to perform the ceremony but as his natural pride had already come to his aid so far as to enable him to continue his accustomed duties at the without betraying the different emotions which for mastery in his bosom so he himself for this occasion also and even felt a strange wild triumph in the conviction that he was capable of going through with all that was required of him without from a single duty never was bride more gracefully attired than as she stood at the altar that day it was but a country scene after all and the people of the village very naturally thought that something might have been spared for the poor at such a time a handful of silver was all however which james thought of	41
the mind of when he awoke on that miserable morning but the bitterness with which they were accompanied bore nothing of a wholesome or a healing nature his vow once broken regarded himself lost man he did not recollect that the spirit of a sacred engagement may be kept after the letter has been broken and that having once the bounds of safety pre to him by his lost parent he was the more called upon again to submit his actions to the same wholesome restraint and to do this as strictly and as faithfully as he valued the memory of his mother margaret was the first to meet when he descended to the garden that morning first impressions she made no reference to the preceding but told him with evident satisfaction that she had persuaded her brothers to go out into the fields and as the next day was saturday a day on which claimed from attend ance on his pupils margaret strongly advised his to his own home until after another sunday even now she opened for him the little gate into the field through which the path led to the village and looking bade to see that he had not been observed from the house she closed the gate behind her and walked with him some way down the path which for a considerable distance was shaded by a thick hedge with lofty trees have no wish said margaret after they had walked some paces in perfect silence to intrude upon your thoughts at a time as this but i am more troubled than i can tell you about this of my s and i want your advice as to how i ought to r margaret then her mind of a load which had been there eve r since the night of her brother s intended es cape it was not in robert s nature long to maintain that and spirit toward his sister and won oyer as he had finally been by ber faithful and affection he had disclosed to her the whole secret of his association with the and a dark and disgraceful secret it was like many other youths on to imagined desperation by the alternate severity and neglect of ill judging parents robert had commenced his career of folly by rebellion against his father s authority in this act of he was however checked by that wholesome restraint which exercises so powerful an effect upon many a youthful the want of pecuniary means to carry out his own secret plans he had been accustomed in the days of his boyish to hear the of the young both as to their good luck and good management in the great business of obtaining resources and now that they were more anxious than ever to cultivate his acquaintance he had little difficulty in meeting them so far as to hear how much they had to say against his father s unfair assumption of authority as well as how much vulgar praise they could lavish upon his own spirit of resistance it had been in short so much the interest of the to cultivate the ance of so hopeful an agent in their service as robert that the intimacy first i rapidly from one stage to another until that system of and petty which the master of ail the terrors of his public and private influence to subdue found no more efficient than his own son who while he protected the shared though but in the profits of their secret spoils in the first discovery made of this system which had fixed suspicion upon the robert had been in no way he could not but feel however that the foundation on which he stood was shaken and as the first act of concealed and deliberate crime of which youth is guilty almost always has the effect of the balance of the mind in favor of evil in general so every circumstance which afterward occurred to the boy seemed to drive him further and further from the path of duty and of still he had of heart after better things beyond what many feel whose lives have been more innocent from guilt and never were these feelings so powerful as when with his sister margaret in hours of and happy intercourse how had he often longed at such moments to tell her au his wicked thoughts and acts and consequent first impressions for robert was from being hardened in tke evil coarse he bad chosen he was the victim of a perverse and temper one of those characters whose good and evil are alike uncertain and whose experience is generally made up of and without any definite motive in either beyond the impulse of the present moment the most immediate difficulty however which pressed upon him at this time arose out of a which had lately taken place between him and his associates indeed the whole family like all who are in possession of each other s guilty secrets lived in a constant state of suspicion and evil thoughts against each other which the slightest failure in any of their plans was at all times liable to into the flame of open discord in that system of and other kinds of upon the property of the neighboring farmers and especially upon the estate robert had taken no other part than to lead off the attention of his father and brothers from the real but still he was too far to feel any degree of satisfaction in his present position now that he and the were no longer on friendly terms and ever since the affair of the boat there had i n s b n a peculiarity df manner toward himself whenever he came ih contact with any of them which made him sometimes suspect either that his own safety or that of his family was in danger in the disclosure which margaret bow	41
you teach us thus our blessed religion has other and happier lessons more adapted to the wants and the weakness of humanity lessons which bring us again and again to the to the pardon of our sins and to ask for strength to go and sin no more having no arguments to in defence of the gloomy views he was now indulging and margaret feeling that she had said enough perhaps too much they turned away to pursue their different for the day so little was accustomed to spend a b first ion night away from his own humble home that mrs met him at the door with evident curiosity to know what had caused this of the rules of her house he was in no humor now to answer her many tions in the manner she wished and passing into the little parlor had been the scene of so many of his sad thoughts as well as of some of his brightest dreams he sat down for the purpose of indulging his morbid feelings to their range of despondency and gloom what would you please to have for dinner asked mrs peeping in with her most business like face don t talk to me of dinner replied hastily bring me anything you have mr nothing nothing why bless your heart sir people must eat then i ll eat to morrow said taking up his hat to leave the house but vm doubting said the woman with a look real concern as she placed herself in the way of the young gentleman s exit i m doubting if the mutton will please you so well tp from his first encounter with mrs p w n had felt himself a man this x first impressions last stroke was nothing less than an insult to feelings and he hastened out of the house hoping to find that retirement which he so much needed on the or in the fields over that high bleak tract of land which extended to the he therefore bent his steps and charmed with the solitude of the wild shore he paced for a long time to and fro on the wet sands without observing that his movements were watched by a little ragged boy who scrambled down the cliff in peril of his life the first intimation of intrusion which received was from the fall of a mass of loose gravel and on looking round he saw the boy eagerly him to come nearer impertinence again said am i never to be alone and with a strong determination to maintain his own dignity in whatever manner it might be assailed he walked away firom the spot with as much speed as the preservation of this dignity would permit while the boy afraid of being defeated in his object to call loudly to him to stop am i thus to be at the and the bidding of every who chooses to interrupt exclaimed yet chained to the spot as people naturally are by hearing them violently called upon to go no further ci he waited ia no courteous mood to the of this strange messenger a dirty slip of paper explained the business he was with read it with evident contempt tore the paper and scattered the fragments on the ground you will come then said the boy looking as if he perfectly understood the nature of his errand of course i will replied but it must be at my own if i never refuse to visit the sick of my parish i may surely be allowed to choose my own time certainly said the boy if you can make them live till you come go back said in a tone of high authority you have executed your commission tell your grandmother i will be with her some time this evening this evening exclaimed the boy it will be too late indeed sir it will is she so ill then asked why not so very ill sir but and tho boy hesitated you will repent of it sir that y u will if you don t come now i will not be the tool of your impertinence said and he turned away from the boy who slowly first his steps to the cliff at the path which was to conduct him to the summit of the high ground above he called again more than before his assurance thai no time was to be lost and his threat that o would repent of it if he did not with his grandmother s request it is with great difficulty that any one ia turned away from pursuing a wrong purpose had secretly determined that that day should be spent in the of his own feelings regardless of those of other being upon earth he had determined that h yield himself entirely to the influence of gloomy thoughts that he had a right to do and that it was a privilege of which no one had the power to deprive him he therefore re wandering on the beach until a much later hour than it would otherwise have been agreeable to his feelings to do so simply for the satisfaction of following out his own purpose in spite of circumstances and worse in spite of duty the sun was already far in the west and the we e returning home when climbed the high cliff to which in fact he had been driven by the advancing tide and as the ge of old to which he waa t i ns bound stood at the opposite extremity of the village before lie reached the door the shadows of evening had rendered that forlorn and spot still more gloomy than it appeared by the full light of day on the narrow road which led from the public way to the s door between two dirty where ducks and usually seen stood the little who had	41
done his s in conveying her and the moment came in sight he retreated to the hut as if he had been stationed there to watch for his coming as the delicate senses of the young were by every aspect of vulgarity he would rather have been called upon to preach ten sermons to a genteel congregation than to say one word in private to such a woman as still he believed it to be his duty to attend upon the suffering and the sick and he himself to the task accordingly what then was his surprise on approaching the bedside of this old woman to feel his arm so firmly grasped that he doubted for a moment whether he was not in the power of one of her while the countenance of the apparent sufferer now absolutely distorted with impatience was raised so as almost first impressions to touch his in this attitude he breathed her story into his listening ear it was en i no story of her own sufferings for the expression upon s face was not one of sympathy but of horror and indignation and of haste to be gone still however she him and there was no resisting that iron grasp still she detained him for there were important particulars to explain but hark what sound was she whispered laying her on her lips and the boy at the same time made a particular his feet upon the floor take no notice now said the w back on the move very slowly and you do don t appear to be in te she then entered into a detail of her bodily sufferings during which if showed any signs of impatience she again lifted up her fin with a look which sufficiently indicated the danger there was of nature of her com being even so much as also thought he heard the whispering of voices the do r and window ie was naturally no stranger to fear and what h had heard this n ht might have shaken firmer nerves than it might be that the i ns of the case the immediate need there was for action supported him for he took the tone of the old woman and even with her on her sufferings though all the while his hair stood up from his forehead while drops of perspiration gathered there and his whole frame was trembling so that a stranger s eye might easily have detected his emotion trusting that his retreat might now be made with safety exchanged a few words of common civility with the old woman and left the cottage he knew that whatever danger might threaten him it was now yet he held on his way with a step erect though at the same time with a speed beyond what is required by any occasion he had already cleared one short field from the village when a rustling was heard on the other side of the fence and the words not fast and go by the willow were uttered by an almost breathless voice which he knew to be that of the boy whose on the he had so blindly and foolishly disregarded the path by the willow was at least half a mile further than that which had chosen and to go by this route and to go slowly seemed almost too much for his first impressions and self possession certain however that to the of such an as old would be most effectually to defeat his object he walked straight into a narrow where the path was so closely hemmed in by wood and that it would have been impossible for him to know had any one been disposed to track his footsteps the highest part of what was called the willow immediately overlooked the orchard and back premises of before had reached this part of the field he was sensible of a strange distinctness about the tops of the trees and the hedge which bounded his horizon unable now to make any further calculations upon the consequences of his own movements he sprang over the gate which separated him from the lane and in another moment was in the centre of the noble yard of the where an awful spectacle presented itself to his view at the base of every light blue flames were beginning to appear so numerous and so widely spread that it was evident the destructive element must have been introduced by an agency more effectual than mere accident bewildered with the scene before bim paused one moment to reflect upon the wisest impressions measures to adopt in the absence of the and his sons to awaken the terrors of mrs was like setting fire to a train of con t the consequences of which no human being could calculate upon besides which the house was still safe and unless the changed there was every probability that it would remain so therefore flew to the cottage of a who lived close by and desiring him to call out the men servants from the hall despatched one of them on the horse in the stable to bring home mr and his sons in the mean time the fire was gaining on every hand the men servants who had all retired to rest looked at each other bewildered and confounded and without a leader to them what to do hastened this way and that unconscious of any definite object in what they did alone retained his self like many of those sensitive characters whose feelings are too delicate for common use he would have been the last that any one would have applied to in a desperate emergency requiring moral as well as physical energy yet with all his gentleness possessed a mine of mental power which when properly directed is of infinitely more value sion than mere brute force had squire been there with all his bustle and	41
his it is more than probable that would have shrunk from the field of action or have a comparatively useless post but feeling that there was no one else to take the command of affairs he seemed in that very moment to step forth into life under a new character the men servants who were at first disposed to dispute his authority became absolutely by the of his decision and the clearness with which his orders were given while his slight and graceful figure from place to place amid that scene of uproar and destruction looked more like a spirit than a man all his however though put in force by so many able hands were to stop the of the devouring element so surely had the malignant plot been laid the flames had now gained such mastery that they seemed to with their fiery tongues the victims they were about to while they curved with light around each sombre mass and threw a strange and lurid upon the foliage of the surrounding trees sensible that the wind was changing had for some time been too intent upon discovering ever new symptom of in that first of the premises adjoining the to think of what might be within the walls when shrieks that seemed to vault above that terror if not actual danger had reached the ss of the mansion looked op wo men or children were from every door but this was not all a rapidly increasing light was seen to glare through the windows of one apartment a sort of separated from the house yet so slightly that scarcely than a miracle could save the whole structure now then was the real danger now was the conflict too great for one man to bear alone and how did turn every moment and look and listen for the return of the master of the house he came at last the tread of at full speed was heard along the the master and his sons arrived how they had been dining out they had freely according to the of the country of their neighbor s hospitality and whatever their feelings of alarm or grief might be not one of them had a head sufficiently clear to know what ought to be done from the quarter whence had expected help he had therefore to encounter discord and confusion orders were given by one and first impressions by another none could keep in mind his own purpose and the ruin of all that was material seemed about to be by the overthrow of the right balance of mind confounded and had ed his hands together in a fit of anguish and despair when margaret stood beside him perfectly collected but with her lips as pale as ashes and she spoke with breathless haste my mother and the children are all safe said she in the summer house and the are there too but nobody poor little mary asleep in the nursery come with me wrap me in something that will keep off the fire for see see it is close to that room that the are raging and margaret to the spot the former was soon seen ascending a ladder to the window of the nursery his head bound round with a wet cloth which margaret had provided for him and in another moment he stood with the infant at the open never was a welcome more fervent than that with which margaret received it in her extended arms now now she cried we are all safe let the flames do their worst they cannot part us now so long as had felt himself the moving first impressions spring of action neither his strength nor his determination had failed but now when his best were defeated by the disorder and of others now when he was no longer called upon for invention or fort he sunk as exhausted nature is wont to do under such circumstances and heedless of the around him would have remained upon the steps of the hall door had not margaret implored him to seek some place of greater safety nor were her entreaties all fainting as she was she bade him lean upon her arm and with the child in the other she thus supported both until they reached a seat in the tree garden where they could hear and see the of the raging element without fear of its their retreat are you better now said margaret are you well enough to be left alone for i must hasten to my poor mother stay one moment longer said i will stay i will do anything that i can to serve you only tell me what it is for you have this night risked your life again and again for us oh tell me what i can do to serve you you can be my sister my friend said faintly i will margaret i will as first heaven will be my and guide but you must be your own friend too or how can my efforts be how r you must be your better self you must remember this night of how much you are capable and left it rouse you into acting nobly and and in a manner worthy of your high and sacred calling but my vow margaret i had forgotten my broken vow think not of that except as it may warn you for the future if in one sad night you have been made acquainted with your own weakness and your own danger let the morrow find you so far a wiser man that you will never trust to the same temptation again renew that sacred vow with a determination to keep it henceforth imagine that your mother sees and hears you and is conscious of your sincerity and if an earthly parent would own and welcome a second resolution made upon the ruin	41
the garden walk his voice of to the faithful dog that always welcomed his return mar had no thoughts but those of joy and when her husband stood once more beside her first impressions the genuine gladness of her soul burst forth in that eloquent and earnest language with which affection clothes its nameless in a charm too exquisite to be intelligible to a stranger s ear but why were you so late dear said she rambling on without waiting for a reply see it is ten o clock and only what a long long evening i must have had you do not speak to me she added laying her hand upon his arm and looking in his face alas that look it has discovered a a truth the light of joy has faded from margaret s clear pale brow her eyes are as with a heavy cloud and dim with tears her form is bending like a flower beneath the lightning s flash a flower that is at once both crushed and withered margaret had no language to express her feelings her husband knew her heart what could she say very possible form of argument and entreaty she had already used what more remained she would have fallen upon his neck nd wept had there not been a strange in his countenance to her as frightful as it was new she retired to her chamber and while hanging over tke couch of her sleeping child for the first time since first impressions her marriage her tears fell and alone and we hear of women who can smile at spectacles as margaret witnessed that night and at far wider than that from the moral purity of an intellectual and immortal yes we hear of christian women who can smile at the trace of the serpent sin over the countenance of him they love on earth but let not the heart yield to the belief that such is love oh no the only real love is that which is perpetually directed in its aspirations and she who can look with indifference upon her husband s from this course though only in a step a pause a moment s hesitation knows nothing of the holy and influence of a fervent and faithful attachment it is a deeply painful lesson that we learn from our own unexpected failure under trial and temptation our own exhibition of the evil which within a heart our own from the path of and peace yet in all which relates to our own conduct we are less shocked and less astonished because we know the secret faults of which we are guilty we know the root of from which they spring and t world may be surprised we know that such a line of conduct is not worse than might hare been anticipated with such tendencies and feelings and principles as we possess we know too that the sin we have committed is odious to ourselves as it must be to others that we are grieved and and filled with remorse at the recollection of it and we have a secret satisfaction in that by divine assistance we never will commit the s me act again such indeed is the nature of the human mind and such the general character of human experience that self knowledge the possibility of confidence in self but with those we love the case is widely different pure and disinterested affection is so trusting so richly gifted with the power to believe in every excellence so lifted up with hope that to be shaken from its hold and stripped of its power and dashed backward from its high is the of all the which our suffering nature has to endure to see the brow whose beauty was our joy the smile whose gladness was our welcome the eye whose light was our life the countenance whose tone of expression was the music of our souls to see all these swept over by a first i n flood with whose depth and limits we are there is there can be no earthly calamity so great and yet upon this it is said that woman can sometimes look calmly nay more that she can smile when the cloud of shame is on her husband s brow and when his lip is with the stain the poison cup has left the wife whose history we have thus far traced out was far from being one of these she saw her husband s altered look she knew the nature of the evil which for the first time had stamped its impress there but of its fearful power over her future she was yet ignorant and dared not allow herself to think it might be accidental she tried to think it was yet again and again it rose before her arrayed in fresh horrors every time let us look into another page of her history and see whether her were not too prophetic in their sadness and their truth ms chapter v i he cottage and the i den the of never used to look more than in j fine autumn weather when the that around the windows begun to fade into eve ry variety of brown and yellow ind the oaks which spread their protecting branches overhead tinged with gold as ths light from the glowing west r them the sun went down is now three years since the last e described took place and trees and shrubs in the s garden had lived a little beyond that period of beauty and perfection which is to be observed in the progress of all when we begin to look through or among the lengthened and want die green and r first impressions of flower and leaf which at one time crowded together and filled with the aspect of one universal bower the beds and borders of the blooming garden	41
it might be that this most lovely stage of vegetation had passed by or that the autumn winds had blown too rudely or the frost had come too soon but somehow or other that garden did not look it was wont though it was autumn now and though the vine leaves still clustered there and the oaks still grew and flourished and all the loveliness of green and gold with the waving of graceful boughs and the of leaf and were still the same if we may be allowed the it was like the garden of den after our first parents had been nature in all her beauty was the same but the trace of intellectual agency of man s design and woman s taste of the happiest efforts of human art the painting with material beauty an outward representation of internal bliss all these were gone and the low wind that moaned through the adjoining woods and the yellow leaves from ofl the boughs seemed to come with the voice of for some sorrow or some loss which nature was unable to or restore was from home that day and impressions margaret sat alone with ber children by the cottage fire as the evening closed in the begged for their accustomed play which could be so thoroughly enjoyed as when their mother took a more than equal part in the whatever it might be nor was margaret ever known to refuse though it was evident she would sometimes have preferred being alone and still yet she had her reward for the effort however irksome it might be and when she saw her children s sparkling eyes and color heightened by the healthy exercise and heard their merry laugh and listened to the glad sound of their little feet upon the floor it would have been difficult on looking into her face to see that she was not happy too happy indeed she was in one sense for the good are never without their and it is their peculiar privilege that as they never live for self they can always derive enjoyment from the innocent happiness of others two hours later when the merry v were all hushed when the little rosy hands had been clasped in prayer when the last kiss had been pressed upon the cheek and when sleep had fallen like a soft curtain between them and the moving world margaret resumed her seat by the solitary hearth with such an altered look first sion at it was t sole companions sad which her countenance and manner betrayed that she was now but too familiar margaret was busy at her work for whether in joy or in sorrow she neglected any present duty but sometimes the office of her needle aj to be suddenly and one hand dropped involuntarily down upon her knee while the other was passed hastily across her forehead as if to sweep away some gathering cloud that hung over a half formed purpose or an design at last her closed entirely she looked at piece it was not yet nine her cloak was hastily thrown on and in a few minutes more she waa tracing by the light of the moon the well known path to her s dwelling at the opening the private gate which led into the grounds by the tree garden margaret among those well known but deserted walks which had so many recollections of infancy and she for her purpose by hope and now that she had come she almost wished herself back again at home so restless so so is that cannot be endure tr sion that admits of no but as which when it comes is scarcely less intolerable than doubt it was a chill and night and though the moon shone clearly at intervals it was suddenly obscured by clouds that were driven about by a fitful wind which sometimes swept the leaves in rushing showers from the trees and stirred the air with murmuring and m r voices such as whisper to the imagination of terror and of death and sometimes more fearfully of sorrow and of sin the influence of the atmosphere however was not equally felt by all for within the old dining room of the sat a jovial party alike unconscious of the fall of faded leaves the chill of autumn winds or of the tears which are sometimes called forth by and joy in perfect keeping with the disorder and occasional discomfort which prevailed the establishment at the the dining room with its broad window slightly by of ivy was left in other respects exposed so that a curious observer by admission through a private gate into the garden might have seen the whole family seated around the social board for even i y when the hall was lighted precaution was taken to close the shutters until the r retired for the night the reason for this neglect might partly be that a general carelessness of appearances through the household and that the window of the dining room opened upon a part of the garden entirely and almost closed in by high and thickly shrubs margaret however knew how to thread her way among the leaves and boughs and when on turning round a which out from the ancient wall of the mansion the interior of the lighted room was distinctly before her view she leaned her brow for a moment upon the cold leaves of the ivy and breathed a prayer before she even to look in nor was it necessary to look in order to be assured of the state of things within that room there were sounds that could not be mistaken and voices whose tone went home to that poor listener s heart yet all so joyous and so full of mirth that the utter impossibility of any thought of sympathy for her existing among that noisy group rendered her situation more	41
desolate and her sorrow more intense but why should margaret be lingering as if bound to this spot her father and her im i i r all except one bad ever been genial and must long since bare become in great measure from ber at least so far as to bare separated ber from any very intimate in familiar scenes fascination could tbey possess for ber alas bow many wives are but too well prepared to understand and answer inquiry was one voice among tbat noisy group tones were at once too sweet too and too sad was one countenance up by tbat whose beauty was still too dear and it was tbat she lingered and and waited until tbe those senseless should cease tbat she might guard tbe homeward steps of him who ought to have been the protector of hers if could have contemplated that scene as it really was surely a character like his would have needed no other check in its career of folly and of shame the coarse repulsive countenances of those who composed the group within every feature distorted with unnatural excitement until the trace of humanity was almost gone the sound of those voices the vulgar the the worse than first impressions folly awakening idiot laughter and then that pale and solitary woman looking through her tears upon all this her form the very of abject sorrow alike without pity and without consolation but at that moment knew nothing and cared nothing about the effect of his conduct upon others his was a constitution which knew no bounds in its excitement when under the influence of unnatural and therefore most especially he was a favorite with the as almost essential to their because the nature of their faculties rendered them peculiarly upon the amusement which his vivacity and wit supplied there were other powerful reasons too why his society was now as much by the family at the as it had once been despised and had always exercised a kind of influence over the family there from a superiority of mind which though they desired it not for themselves they could not but admire in him the more they admired him however and the more they yielded to him that respect which real merit seldom fails to command the more they felt the reproach of his upright conduct and pure morals when contrasted with first impressions own what then was their triumph on finding that he had fallen from that high eminence on which his firm standing had ever seemed like their reproach it is true their respect for him was one it is true even they regarded him in the light of a fallen and man but their triumph was for this reason more complete and their exultation was to the degree of license which they now derived from his example thus it was that became a favorite with the coarse spirits at the while ho in his turn having lost the approval of his own conscience his own moral dignity and all that man in himself or others was more prepared to lay hold of the pitiful consolation of being and by those whom his heart despised and coarse and rude and as the were there is something too when the best feelings are and the mind gets wrong in its estimate of real good and evil there is something in wealth and worldly distinctions and family and coats of arms and plentiful tables and rich and horses and carriages and perhaps above all there is thing in the torrent of prejudiced opinion which the worldly can pour into any particular t impressions channel so as to invest with a certain kind of popularity which appears to be almost ble they may choose to enforce by their influence or to with their favor here is there must be something in all this or why do we so often see the intelligent and the enduring nay even seeking society which if stripped of worldly and external advantages would be the very last they would choose it was but natural therefore that should find a degree of satisfaction in the companionship of the which neither their moral nor intellectual would ever have afforded indeed from causes already stated he had always felt that they exercised over him more influence than he liked to acknowledge he had tried a thousand times to persuade himself it was because they were his wife s relations had he been asked he would have replied that such was the case though from the shrinking he felt under their in cases where he felt assured of margaret s approval it was but too evident that the secret of their influence was altogether distinct from anything connected with her and the man of first ion the elegant scholar the the father the minister of a religion whose peculiar characteristic is the power to and while it the heart could lend his society to that of rude spirits possessing scarcely a thought or feeling like his own he could listen to the at the during hours which might have been spent with a rational affectionate and deep feeling woman in one of the happiest of homes we should at once pronounce of such a gross of taste that it was beyond nature did not daily observation of the world convince us that such things have been and are and that they will continue to be liable to occur in cases where like that of the miserable victim has a bodily and constitutional tendency to with such even while the mind against the practice and the spirit sometimes that assistance without which the bondage of sin can never be thrown off with such becomes a passion a fever a thirst which up every other desire and every other consideration to give way to individuals thus constituted there is but one path of safety for the sake	41
of and alas they are but too is it not a noble sacrifice for others first i n are less in danger to be willing to walk in the same path in that good humor and which a very slight degree of excess always occasioned was never so suddenly checked as by the sad voice the serious countenance and grave manners of his wife he seldom lost himself so far as not to be conscious of moral and when he felt from the meek and silent reproach of margaret s and sorrowful look that it was no longer possible to be gay his unnatural excitement would not itself in bitter and angry reproaches never was his temper more irritated than on occasions when to use his own expressions he discovered that he had been watched suspected and thought of and when on the night we have described he traced with uncertain steps the path across the fields from the to the village of it may well be supposed he was in no mood to find that margaret herself at that late hour was beside him though her silence might have pleaded in her favor with one who had been more capable of her feelings with however in his present state this very silence was a provocation he wanted to be talking and first ion talking in his own as most persons in his situation do nor was it long before he had given vent to that most frequent of all excuses which throws upon the poor wife the whole blame of the husband s had margaret been less kind less cruel less strict less had she been anything in short but what she was he not to declare that he never should have fallen as he had done and now as it was all her fault she must make the best of it but she never would gain anything by watching and waiting for him there all this however and more and worse than it would be easy to repeat was as nothing to poor margaret it could not make the case more or more painful than it was let her in his present state say what he would she had only come out because she could not rest at home and because she feared her husband might not be e of some alterations which had been made in the road and which might have proved dangerous to one in his situation arrived at this part of the way she therefore passed her arm gently within his and having led him safely past the spot she withdrew it again for what pleasure could there now be in that heart warm pressure which had so often been the mute t i ion of her husband s happiness in feeling that she was by his side it was a sad walk to both and when they saw the lights glancing from their cottage windows it was a relief to feel that they were reaching home margaret however was much surprised to see those lights moving rapidly from room to room and a very natural apprehension for the safety of her children took possession of her mind only to be relieved on a nearer approach to the house by finding that the mark of carriage wheels beside the door and the unusual of a watchful dog indicated that some one had arrived though who it might be at that hour was a question which excited both curiosity and wonder margaret s first inquiry was for her children but almost before she had been fully assured of their safety her eye caught the outline of a figure seated by the parlor fire and the mystery was in part explained it might well be said to be in part only for that figure was so like and yet so unlike so pale and ghastly it seemed to have risen from the dead my brother it is my brother robert exclaimed margaret and in an instant his full dark eyes were fixed upon her face while a first i n smile played over his features which made them look more pale and than before you said i might come to you margaret said he smiling still come to you and die if i liked and here i am having taken full possession of your house but where have vou been for i thought you would never come i was so tired of listening for you we have been to the yes the servant told me so and she made a curious blunder for she said her master had been dining there and her mistress had gone to fetch him home is this the order of things on saying this robert laughed as as his strength would permit while his sister with burning cheeks stooped down to render him some of those kind offices which his feeble state required it was not unknown to margaret that her brother had been for many weeks ill from a wound received in a with a brother officer but that he should come to be the house she had not even dared to wish so much did she feel the altered state of things there that the presence of any one would have been irksome to her and that of a brother under such more particularly painful first still as he had come she must make the best of it and as her heart despite its heavy could not but glow with all the true and warm affection that brother had ever claimed she was not backward in offering him every proof of the most cordial and welcome but where is asked robert who seemed to be in a more than usually mood why does he not come to speak to me perhaps he does not like my being here do tell him margaret i am not what	41
i used to be so tame so quiet he will find me as as his own little child and oh my sister my own good kind you may tell him with truth i am so happy to be here that rather than be turned oat into the cold world of strangers again i will submit to any rule he may impose ah margaret don t you remember that miserable morning when i insulted him about the rule of his house and said so many bitter things to you both yes i remember that day too well was answered by margaret in a voice so low and sad that her brother struck with its peculiar tone drew her close to his side and pressed her hand to his lips and promised with every demonstration oi sorrow for the past that ue would not give nor offence nor t impressions sion any reason to wish that he had come that was a memorable day he resumed to the subject for he wanted to his heart to his sister by the history of his whole life from that period and now when rest was more than usually desirable and when excitement was the very thing he had been most warned against he seemed as if he would have on all night while the rapid confused and manner in which he talked proved but too plainly that his hurried and journey had already been too much for his strength in vain did margaret interrupt him by asserting her authority as a nurse to insist on his being quiet he persisted in declaring that he would not retire for the night until he had seen and received from him a confirmation of his sister s welcome too well did margaret know the rash and impetuous temper of her brother to refuse this t yet how to screen her husband from his observation was more than she could hope or think for as in all cases of fever her brother s faculties seemed to be sharpened to an unusual degree of so that what might have escaped his notice at another time was almost sure to be od now another i ion ms hour however even half that time she thought would be much gain and in the mean while had made ready for her husband some strong coffee in another room and implored him not to make his appearance until she had prepared her brother for seeing him each time therefore that the subject was renewed she endeavored to turn the thoughts of the invalid into another channel and even suffered him to enter into a minute detail of his own history hoping it might occupy his attention to the of all other things you know said robert in the course of this history that you made me promise i would come to you if ever i fell into distress and wished to find a home with you i have been very near the grave since then and as soon as i was able to think i determined that if i lived i would hasten to you the first moment that i could escape you have no doubt heard about that foolish i requested a brother officer to write to my father and give him a fair statement of the whole for i knew how it would be in the public papers indeed i have been most treated throughout though i confess this amiable temper of mine was at the bottom of the whole affair but before i enter upon this part impressions of my story you must place my chair a little out of the draught and see what a wretched fire you have margaret it must be a bitterly cold night i feel aa if aa fit was upon me as robert uttered these words i became evident that a coldness almost like the chill of death was creeping over him his countenance which before had been pale assumed a ghastly and almost livid hue while strong shook his wh e frame i have certainly caught cold on my journey said he i never felt in this way before come near to me margaret and let me feel your hand and too where can he be and what can he be doing surely this is a time to show me the kindness of a brother nay more to give me the benefit of his spiritual advice for i sorely need his help and i think this must be death that is creeping over me in vain did margaret endeavor to convince her brother that his present distressing sensations were but the of an interval of fever occasioned no doubt by bis premature exertion and exposure to fatigue and cold his he was d and he very naturally persisted in that might be immediately called first margaret left him for a few moments and aimed with her husband it would have been difficult at that instant to say whether tlie sister or the brother looked more pale more haggard or more distressed and there was heated flushed disordered with a vague consciousness of the reality of what he saw yet unable to command a single muscle of his face or of his voice or effort of his mind to suit so serious and so melancholy an occasion robert fixed his clear deep eyes now wild and bright with fever directly upon the countenance of his brother i wanted you to pray with me said he but and he burst into a laugh is it come to this at last v he continued have they persuaded him to become like one of us margaret to her husband to leave the room for she saw that her brother s look and manner were beginning to assume the character of delirium and having just consciousness enough to know that in his present situation he was out of place in such	41
teeth and did you never find them in trouble when you came home oh sir forgive me it is the first time i have in way and sorry indeed i am to have insulted my first impressions s i have done but if you will believe me i have gone through that this which would have a stronger brain than mine who are you asked you don t know me then sir why i m the wife of your own gardener james grant the man you turned away for drinking and he has been out of work these hard times r why bo sir i can t say that he has exactly out of work but it s the drink sir that s him and us all felt his color as he spoke but his natural pride reminded him that he ought to assume a dignity which he could not feel have you ever talked to your husband oa this subject he asked talked to him said the woman rising from her posture of abject wo i have prayed him on my knees to spare himself and me but when did you know talking of any use in such a case as his yet surely the kind of a faith ful sir sir continued the woman fixing her eyes with something more than upon s face i would fain hope to be kept from saying what is from me t ion to one in your station but i am a poor creature and you must forgive me if i do it is fit too that you should learn my history for you of all men ought to be made acquainted with it felt it right to encourage t e poor woman to go on hoping he might be able in his pastoral office to render her some assistance though had his own feelings been consulted he would more willingly have closed an inter tie w which had already cost him sufficient pain the simple history of james grant was soon told he had been a young man of uncertain habits before entering the service of the of when the example of his master the of his mistress and the domestic of their house and family had wrought so great a change in his character that his wife for some time esteemed herself the happiest of women still james was never to be depended upon for he hung his good resolutions upon the principles of other men rather than upon his own resting his confidence upon what the did instead of upon what he resolved to do himself nor did his wife fear anything even on this ground for she thought if her husband remained steady first impressions long as his master s example was the same there could be no reason for any change one evening however about a year before this time james grant home and himself by t e fireside opposite his wife he looked in her face with a strange kind of meaning in his eye it was half comic half wild and his wife thought he had some strange story to tell her which would afford them both amusement for the evening what was her astonishment then to that his own natural tendency to evil had received a powerful from circumstances which had in his master s family and of which her husband s personal observation permitted her not to the conduct of james grant assumed a different aspect from that time a willing slave to inclination he soon became the victim of and though dismissed on this ground from the en of a kind and generous master he still maintained that it was the example of that master which had been the cause of his ruin and it was so said the poor wife at the conclusion of her story though i say it who perhaps ought not for so long as i could the clergyman as being clear of every thing of the kind n y husband never had a word to say was silent what could he reply taking the first opportunity of a moment s pause to turn away the woman laid her hand upon his arm and with a fresh burst of agony implored him not to leave her until he had told her what to do you can go back to your happy home said she where know there is one who always meets you with love and kindness and you v asked ow n for despite his self reproaches he could not his pity my home said the woman oh sir it is so desolate last night my stayed out later than so i took my child in my arms and crept round by the orchard hedge and down the back lane of the public house where i knew he always was the shutters were closed but through a in the wood i could see into the room where he sat with two or three neighbors and a merry company they were if one might judge by their songs and their laughter that went to my very heart while i stood shivering there in the cold i said there were two or three neighbors and there was that girl the s daughter going in and out and with impressions james about the curtain he would get at home oh sir i could not bear it i think my poor head was turned so instead of going back to our house i wandered over the common and sat down by the hedge and cried while my baby slept and here we have been all night now tell me sir if you have any christian kindness in your heart tell me what i must do for there is no supporting this misery stood all this while with his eyes fixed upon the ground and his foot unconsciously down some flowers which grew upon the bank the	41
words of this wretched being sank deep into his heart and the fact which she told him of the nature of his own example sank deeper still what shall we both do said he at last for my grief is deeper than yours and tears the natural result of his moral malady in with his sensitive mind chased each other rapidly down his cheeks go home my good woman he continued offering money to the poor wretch whose necessities were beyond his power to relieve go home and do your best and pray fervently for your husband and for me and to morrow i will call upon you first the woman looked astonished for the language her husband had been accustomed to use in speaking of his late master after being dismissed from his service and the manner in which he had exposed and over those instances of on the part of the clergyman which so many voices were ready to tell had led her to suppose him some hard hearted who would justify in himself the indulgence he denied to another natural feeling however always bears with it strong evidence in the cause of truth and there was something in the expression of s countenance in his tears and in the tone of his voice which at once her indignation against him as the cause of her husband s ruin and excited a feeling of compassion for one whom an hour before she would have deemed the last man on earth to call it forth with an expression of gratitude accompanied by something like respect s offered was accepted and he immediately directed his steps to the house of his friend mr where he had become of late a much less frequent than in former years the fact was the feelings of this friend as well as those of all his family had cooled toward a first impressions man whom they no longer looked upon as perfectly correct and forgetting that they had been accustomed to his strict and that mr had used his influence as a christian friend to induce him to aside this rule and to live as himself and the rest of the religious world were living they were perhaps the least charitable of all his toward a temptation by which they themselves had never been assailed of all kinds of that of children is perhaps the most touching to our natural feelings yet even this had to bear when he entered the house of mr for the junior part of the family though possibly unconscious of the cause were accustomed to hear him spoken of in a manner which at once destroyed their confidence and their they used to meet me at the turn of the garden walk said to himself as he traced the well known path they used to stop me with their little arms around me and now no wonder they fly from me no wonder they are taught to such a monster as i am grown and with these sad thoughts he asked if mr was at home and if he could see him for a few moments first impressions he was told that the master of the house was at home and he was told so by a servant for he had lately been ushered into a vacant parlor whenever he called and sometimes permitted to remain some time alone before any one appeared at last mr entered the room and shook him slightly by the hand while his eye was fixed upon some distant object and his voice uttered only the common place expressions of a casual acquaintance and was in a state of mind to understand and feel all this but he himself nevertheless for the occasion and answered in a manner suited to the reception his friend thought fit to give him perhaps you are engaged this morning t said in a tone of inquiry i am a little occupied replied mr looking at his watch but the hour is early and i dare say i shall have time to finish my letters for the post i would not detain you resumed but that there is a subject of some importance to me on which i wish to exchange a few words with you and as you are yourself deeply it is but right that you should bear with me if i speak of truths which you may not like to hear first impressions i said mr with a look ff grave astonishment i myself yes you replied perhaps you may remember about three years ago me to lay aside the rule of conduct i at that time maintained with regard to total from all those which so frequently lead to and excess i do replied mr but i am not prepared to be charged with the consequences which have resulted and which no one can more than myself the consequences resumed were such as any one acquainted with human nature but more especially with my own constitution might have been prepared to expect with human nature in general observed mr i may certainly boast some acquaintance but of your particular constitution as you are pleased to call it i am happily ignorant it is time you should be informed then said that there is a particular constitution of body whether hereditary or otherwise is of little importance to the point in question to which artificial becomes by frequent indulgence a thirst a craving an absolute want too powerful foi the mere act of t the will by circumstances to keep in check you who sit calmly there my weakness and my guilt can form no idea of the fire that is awakened in a brain like mine or of the restlessness of mind and body the withering of the nerves the sinking of the heart and the vitality of the imagination producing altogether such an of agony as a fresh application of	41
the poisonous alone can relieve by affording a temporary of reality and truth happily for me replied mr i am unconscious of these things nor do i wish to cultivate a farther acquaintance with such a state of mind and feeling but you shall hear me exclaimed grasping his arm you shall know into what a gulf you have plunged the man who was weak enough and guilty enough to make your advice a plea for the indulgence of his own inclinations i am determined you shall know this you are a religious man arid you ought to be made acquainted with the of every system of moral conduct which you advocate know then that i stand here before you a ruined man ruined in body and soul except only and i say it with profound first n reverence that there is more mercy with god than with man and i believe that even now if i had strength to shake this monster from me i believe i hope that i might yet be forgiven but you cannot know no there is no language adequate to convey to your understanding the depth to which i have fallen and the agony in which i live as said these words he leaned forward and covering his face with both his hands actually groaned aloud his friend painfully by this evidence of his sufferings yet still anxious to clear himself from blame again took up the argument he had so often used that in a from the strict rule of he had not the most distant idea of excess but how dared you exclaimed advise me to break down the old without furnishing me with some other protection against the flood v you had your principles your conscience yes i have my principles and my conscience still and what of them they are me all the day and me all the night you had the resource of prayer i had i acknowledge it with self i first ment and with shame but how often was the tempting cup first drained and then a weak and prayer poured out from lips i tell you again that the spark once lighted in a constitution like mine a train of evil is set on fire which no human power is able so much as to restrain would you like to see what that deadly fire has burned up come home with me and count the ashes on my hearth still you must allow said mr that what i did was done in ignorance of the peculiarity of your temperament and of your to fall i do allow it said i know it was done in ignorance and i dwell thus upon the subject that you may understand it better and be more cautious for the future when you have to deal with others who are constituted hke me for i am not in my degradation hundreds and thousands are like me the children of parents with them it is possible the inclination to excess may in a greater degree and if you have unconsciously been the ruin of one man how are you sure that you have not injured others how are you sure that amongst those who sit down to your plentiful board there are not ib t impressions other men weak and hesitating on the brink of ruin as i was once oh sir it is a solemn and a fearful thing for a religious professor to advise any one to give up a scruple whatever it may be i am no going home if home it may be called where i find neither peace nor comfort and where the smiles of my angel wife are yet more than her tears i am going to hear the of my children and to feel like a demon their joy i am going to tread the walks of my garden whose beauty is gone to wander in the woods melody has no music for me to hide myself from the sun and the pure clear sky to away from the social intercourse of man it may be to put an end to this torment at once as said this he turned away the last words had been muttered between his teeth and his look was uncertain and wild but mr concluding he was even at that moment under temporary excitement set no guard upon his steps further than to follow him with his eye to the most distant part of his own grounds wandered on to a remote part of an adjoining wood not to him for he lately sought the most solitary walks first the neighborhood afforded and choosing fo the scene of his meditations a deep and shadowy he sunk down upon a bank and resigned himself to a train of thoughts of which none would have envied him the possession though he had almost become a stranger to the sweet influences of nature he was soothed even in his present state of mind by the sound of rippling water near him and sometimes he looked almost unconsciously to a natural fountain in the rock from whence a little stream of clear water was falling into its green basin low while he gazed upon this spot two approached him an old man and a boy they were evidently weary with labor and the elder of the two took off his cap and shook back the long gray hairs from his brow while the boy made a cup with both his rosy hands and drank heartily from the sparkling stream the old man then did the same and both seemed refreshed as they turned away to resume their toil talking cheerfully as they went it is enough for them said breath ing his thoughts aloud and they have to the burden and the heat of the day the beams of the afternoon sun	41
known to exhibit of serious and true feeling the minister too when he rose from his seat was like one who had been conversing with the things of eternity and had come to show them to others his voice at first was tremulous and low but soon all eyes were fixed upon him for his very soul was that night ready to be poured forth for his people such is the power of truth and it was the truth he had pledged himself to that he spoke an eloquence which soon the attention df his whole congregation as of one man and old men and young women the worldly the and the gay were all as w ob absorbed in his feeling and his words it was however a discourse of rather an ex nature to which gave utterance that night and margaret had more than once almost started from her seat for nothing her husband had previously said had prepared her to expect it it had been announced as a funeral sermon for her brother and she had anticipated much that would be in to all and affecting to some but when she heard her husband enter upon his own personal history in with the deep of that closing sc ne which he alone had witnessed she could not but look up to assure herself that her husband was perfectly master of himself and in his right entirely opposed was such an exposure to the natural shrinking of bis sensitive feelings one look was sufficient and she bow d her head in silent and acknowledgment that it was even so for never had a worn a character so profoundly earnest as on this occasion humility and deep reverence were blended together in his every look and tone and in this he went on nothing but ma king full before his people of what had been his temptation his and his fall there is no true humility before god out something of the same nature being also before man and bowed himself to the judgment of his people acknowledging himself unfit to be their yet offering before them his solemn pledge that as strength might be granted him to resist temptation he would then and for ever all those which had so fearfully his safety both for this world and the next as uttered that confession there was scarcely an eye by tears among the many which looked up from the silent congregation and when the service was ended and the groups of people left their places in the church the greater portion of them behind to catch the eye of their as he walked down the aisle to clasp his ever ready hand and to say a few kind words to him of sympathy for the past and of esteem and confidence for the future felt all this as it thrilled like a fresh spring of vitality his heart but there was one who felt it even more and when margaret leaned upon his arm as they passed along the churchyard walk that night the hope t the which in her soul were n blessed omen of the happy then upon the cot of the of hall chapter i there are few things that strike us more in the course of our past lives than the which have taken place in the situation of the families around us and in the character and es of the friends of our youth we never see the ef feet of such changes so forcibly displayed as when years of absence have repeatedly separated from our own home circle and it might sometimes furnish a subject for re of no idle or nature to inquire by what moral families have been enabled to rise while others have fallen in the scale of social influence and domestic comfort with such feelings i would the history of my past life when after obtaining an appointment in india i went into the north of england to pay a visit to only hall who was happily married and settled at the distance of four miles from hall fond of all rural sports i here amused myself to my heart s content wishing only it was possible to avoid the visits of the country people upon whom i looked down from the classic eminence i had recently obtained at with no common degree of disdain in vain my sister told me of this worthy person and that good family of singular characters she had met with and of genius born and blushing in the shade it was well for her to be amused and contented with all that surrounded her where her lot was cast but with me the case was widely and i saw no reason why i should be more than barely civil to the society i met at her house one day however she appeared to be enjoying a triumph the of hall were expected to dinner and with the only daughter and of this house she had contracted a close intimacy of the of i had already become weary as well as of the h i i of her wit her lovers her music her riding her fortune and her and i had pictured her to myself an country girl setting up for a character proud of her money with the farm ers of the neighborhood and it with a kind of superiority over every one she met in this idea of my sister s friend i had dwelt so long that the bare mention of her name had become an offence to me and yet every one would mention it th country talked about her pony the ladies about her dress the envious about her the poor about her the scrupulous about her extravagance the extravagant about her scruples until i knew not what to make of her but instead of the curiosity which such contradictory reports might naturally have	41
excited i conceived a sort of horror at the idea of a woman of so many pretensions and to avoid the long day she was expected to spend at my brother s i should have my self to the fields until nightfall had i not been unfortunately confined to the house by a severe cold hall to increase my disgust other neighbor were expected so that i was to see this heroine in full play among her humble friends and admiring escape being impossible i myself for the occasion and determined as my last and only resource to keep the whole length of the room between myself and the object ot my anticipated dislike all the other guests had arrived and were sitting in country state around the when i heard a loud and not laugh in the adjoining apartment and my sister evidently a sound hastened out to welcome her friend the laugh still continued as miss entered leaning on the arm of her father a most respectable looking gentleman of fifty with blue coat white waistcoat and powdered hair the lady laughed on for though she was the ceremony of being presented to the company she was ail the while telling my sister the history of some droll adventure which had detained them by the way this is absolute thought i as the party advanced toward and i hail consequently condescended to pay no far ther regard to my sister s friend than to notice that she had a profusion of close curling black hair thrown back from a broad clear forehead and teeth of the most ing whiteness i afterward discovered that her eyes were dark and flashing and though her mouth was rather wide the bold and beautiful curve of her chin and the noble line from that to her small classical ear were such as might have from vulgarity a countenance more marked than hers miss was certainly not what i had expected she was bold but not bold for she was a spoiled child and had never known the fear of punishment bold for she was a high minded woman and had never felt the shame of acting a false part still i did not like her she had the manners of one who has been accustomed to be thought droll and though in my heart i could not accuse her of affectation there was an arch curve about her lips and a elevation of her marked and meaning eyebrows that seemed to set me at hall defiance o that before i was aware of it i had assumed the air and tone of one who acts on the with others she con rapidly and but her opinions and mine came in contact they were decidedly opposed and before the even ing closed we were positively rude to each other on my part i was that one so young and a woman should presume to take the lead in conversation while she was equally surprised and annoyed to find a gentleman and a stranger insensible to her attractions and unmoved by her influence once and once only i detected myself gazing at her with admiration she had been talking with an old gentleman of narrow prejudices and rigid ways of thinking and judging of the poor when forgetting all argument all reasoning and all tion three things she was rather apt to forget she burst forth into such an indignant and eloquent appeal to the feelings and sympathies of human nature that the com became silent and every eye was fixed upon her upon which she appeared suddenly to recollect herself and shocked at the prominent part she was taking as well hall h as at the degree of personal feeling she was exhibiting a burning crimson rushed into her face while she bent down her head silent and evidently abashed there is some grace in her yet thought i for she knows how to blush and from that moment i regarded her with more com while my sister relieved her embarrassment by immediately proposing music again i was annoyed beyond measure for l doubted not this country would in upon us some old piece of music with its endless variations and the practice of a whole year of her education i was mistaken in my calculations however for miss refused to be the first to play and my sister bad to make many journeys round the room pleading with different ladies before any could be led blushing to the instrument as usual when they did come they came in and the gentlemen then amused themselves with politics more to their hearts content there were still some of the party not so easily satisfied and i my sister whisper to her friend my dear vi hall have pity upon my piano and put a stop to this discord laughed heartily at my sister s but rose immediately and taking her humble place among the musical group waited patiently until two young ladies had finished their well known company when the party could not do otherwise than make way for one whose pretensions all agreed to be though her style of singing was by no means popular i had watched these movements and prepared nerves for what i expected would be showing off in the highest style of try execution in words making as much noise as the piano was capable of producing when my ear was caught by one of the sweetest of scotch sung by the and most musical of voices with rapid of and pathos that it seemed to come as fresh from the heart of the as if it had never been played or sung before a genuine burst of feelings sung as the wild bird sings on his native tree i had heard more powerful voices and listened to performances more elaborate and complete but it seemed to me hall that i had	41
never before listened to such native music and when the song was ended i found i had unconsciously placed myself beside the singer while most of those who previously composed the musical group had fallen back into their places and were forming themselves into little of laughter and of gossip around the room miss rose from her seat you are not tired i exclaimed with patience oh no she answered but i see my audience is my style of music is not popular among them they like their own much better and i must not my sister had now moved away to another part of the room and i consequently found myself a t te with the very person i most wished to avoid and who unless she would be always singing to me would i believed be nothing but intolerable contrary to my expectations we fell into a most awkward silence when suddenly the lady turned to me and said with a look of grave concern you seem to have a dreadful cold sir it must be a sad bore to sit in such a room as this and hear us all talking of hall things you do n t care about with that ling ing in the ear and throbbing in the temples which a bad cold produces i know nothing worse to endure and in charity to you i am going to break up the party by carrying off my father but stay one moment and she went hastily out of the room without allowing me time to for my stupidity and on the score of that which she had so kindly noticed my sister followed her but soon returned when will these people go asked with impatience as soon as mr and miss order their carriage and why do n t they order it now because miss is standing by the nursery fire making you a for your cold what an unaccountable creature i i exclaimed why i have been positively rude to her that makes no difference with her replied my sister she would cure the malady of an enemy just as willingly as that of a friend then there is nothing personal in the matter thought i with a slight touch of disappointment in a few days this visit was to be returned and so much were the effects of my cold by the means above alluded to that i felt it would be impossible to make a plea for myself from the party hall was built in the old english style it had a square front with towers projecting a little at each end and there were and recesses and windows and winding passages and all sorts of things to be long remembered about it but most of all the ivy never have i seen such deep such rich of ivy as hung over the arched entrance of the eastern tower and then there was that old fashioned plant with its bright red and short green leaves and the rambling all about the front while a white rose climbed up to the window of s own room as if to mark the purity and of that particular spot but i forget for i was a long time before i thought there was anything sacred con hall with her and especially on the da i allude to though she had cured my cold i felt as if i owed her a sort of revenge because i could not dislike her as i had intended and i thought of nothing but how pleasant it would be to bring her down and humble the avenue of elms through which we drove did not lead directly to the house though it a view of it through many in the tree but when we had approached within a hundred yards the road turned off into an open sweep along a lawn of the turf sloping down to a bright sparkling river which watered the adjoining meadows winding like a silver thread the green of ash and and willow that fringed its banks in approaching nearer to the man sion we passed along the side of a beautiful whose winding walks were scarce ly visible among the thickly and and the weeping that hung over the road on reaching this spot my sister ed with astonishment at the sight of an enormous mound of earth which were engaged in beside them stood the master of the his attention being so absorbed that be did not observe our carriage b was then i first learned that this excellent man for he certainly was in all qualities of the heart was to the habit of himself to what are called and no public pursuits nor anything in short to lead him out of the narrow of his r domain the restless spirit of invention so often for that of improvement had left it traces on many portions of bis estate where sums of money had been sunk sufficient to have cured a men less of the fascinating but dangerous habit of trying experiments oa a large and expensive scale in one part of his grounds in particular though happily remote from the house was a heap q broken earth with deep beside which were scattered a few slightly built sheds and falling o here had once intended to establish a but the idea f digging for u soon af tea ward presenting ft to his mind the latter the aa and another part of his estate presented an equally deserted scene with the of a project futile it was strange as used often to that her father should allow these to remain that he not some of his numerous host of to smooth down the earth and carry off the in order to the memory of defeated enterprise the disease of riding had however the same and character with him as the object of the present	41
mom it and the hopes it supplied so entirely occupied his mind that he seemed to feel neither the pain of wounded pride nor that of pointed effort to him the future was all and the past was nothing to a superficial observer mr presented a perfect picture of an peace loving country gentleman and so in fact he was he had not an unkind thought or feeling toward any human being bat at the same time he knew very httle what human beings were on the of and mo his wan far more and his attention more easily excited he would probably have fallen asleep had any one talked to him of moral principle and even on the finer distinctions of religious creed and party he was neither an intelligent nor a patient listener although no man could be more strictly moral as to general conduct or more scrupulous in observing the religious to which he had been accustomed torn his youth talk to mr however on some of hia favorite tell him of recent invention in or in science and his eyes were lighted up with animation his whole frame was instinct with another life and he became for the instant a new and a different man tempted as she sometimes was to treat with playful satire her father s little peculiarities still spoke of them with affectionate tenderness they were so harmless so droll and they made him so happy they had however two great dis advantages they wasted his money and y rendered him what otherwise his good feeling could never have allowed him to be at times excessively tiresome on at on the day alluded to we saw my sister s already on the steps regardless of those forms of life which would have detained her in the drawing room until we entered she rushed to meet us and even clasped my sister s hand at the door of the carriage had a painter wished for a of all the ideas we are accustomed to in a true welcome a welcome entire and hearty and he would have chosen at that moment nay at any moment of that day for her looks her manners the energy with which she stir red up a packed fire inquired after my cold and drew the most comfortable chairs into the most comfortable places made feel at once that we were making her happy and ourselves at the same time it is a nice art that of making people feel glad ihey have been at the trouble of coming to see you understood it well i have invited ho one to meet you she said except our good friend the clergyman for i am a great of pleasure and i wanted to have you all to ourselves ball the who was a friendly and intelligent mai at that moment arrived and one of the party then inquired what mr was so busy with in the garden pray do me said the daughter with evident there is something rising higher and higher every day i but what it is to be i am at a loss to imagine sometimes i have strong suspicions it is to be a for you must know is all the rage with us at present mr for is mr here the rather hastily oh no i replied or i should not have invited you for though yours is an order which ought especially to live in with all men i strongly suspect you mr of that man i certainly should not choose mr for my own private companion replied mr but as to him i hope i hate no man who m inquired my sister if it be fair to ask i never heard of him before as being at all intimate here h is a man of gas and blow pipes and steam replied and mj ther has a great liking for him because he is about to take out a patent for some wonderful intention but really i pay so little attention to these things that i am to tell yon what it is but here my good father so bow we will have d inner f and i hope none of you will require a patent for creating an appetite mr welcomed his guests with much of the genuine cordiality of his daughter though he was a man of few words except when some of his subjects were introduced then indeed the case became a very protracted one and my sister knowing by experience the difficulty of treating the good man s constitutional weakness used to warn us off the dangerous ground with great tact and skill you must not speak of bis she whispered as we went into the dining room for though you will have to walk round them before the day is over the longer you can put off this subject the shorter your penance will be at the head of her father s table appeared to great advantage she hall had lost her mother when a child and the habit thus acquired of the domestic arrangements of the family had added to the many good qualities with which her character was adorned the peculiar excellence of a thorough knowledge of the practical part of domestic economy combined with the delicacy and good taste which keep all display of such knowledge to its proper time and place the table at hall was covered with what some would call vulgar plenty in short with the best of country fare and many of the greatest were of s own making for she despised nothing which as she used to say in homely phrase helped to make people comfortable and you never like to make them uncomfortable said i for her manner was one to invite freedom don t you remember she replied when you were a child and cried for nothing your kind nurses used	41
to give you a box on the ear by way of something to cry for now i confess when i see people fastidious and proud and with those they i hall cannot understand it does sometimes tempt me to give them something to dislike had this remark been made with bitterness it would probably have closed our ance then and there for i was perfectly aware of its application but when i looked at the speaker she was regarding me with such an animated and playful smile that i could not choose but forgive her beside which she was helping me to the wing of a chicken so i was compelled to thank her whether i felt grateful or not it seems a strange in human nature that so many worthy people of respectable understanding should so far as their own practice is concerned be unable to dis between being agreeable and being tiresome poor mr had not the tact to perceive when the ladies had left the room and the wine had been many times round the table and he had fairly entered upon his then pet subject the art of vary ing the surface of the earth so as to produce gentle in gardens and that his guests were all sitting uneasily on their chairs looking out of the window or exchanging glances with each hall other until at last in order to change the scene if not the subject my brother proposed a stroll in the grounds and we gladly rose from the table for the dinner hour at hall was the same as in the time so early as to admit of a walk before tea on reaching the garden it was a matter of astonishment to us that the master of the house was not ashamed but actually proud to show us what eight workmen two carts and four horses were doing in his grounds and in what once the loveliest spot of all he had the notion however that this particular part was too flat and in proportion to the mound we had seen in approaching were deep hollows where the water now stood in pools the too on which and even her had once bestowed so much time and taste were all out and carried away or else covered over with the mound of earth which was to be crowned with a temple as the finishing stroke of beauty but we were all glad to forget these little in a man who could lead us back to his fire side with the kind and hall dial feelings which seemed ever to be glowing at the heart of mr though he left it to his daughter to express in a more animated what only could be read in the bland and quiet expression of his cheerful face nor was there much to be apprehended from his of the conversation when his di was present for she had the art of making the evening pass away so pleasantly that contrary to all my calculations i as really sorry when the time arrived for us to leave the hospitable hall and i bade good night to with a conviction that whatever one s previous impressions might be it was impossible to dislike her in her own house it is true she seemed not always sufficiently gentle that she was often sometimes but then she was kindly for every one s comfort so forgetful of her own so quick to perceive every little peculiarity of taste or feeling and so watchful of every opportunity to pleasure to her guests that the most polished could not have her in the art of making every one ball with the position he held at her father s fireside what happy we always spend here exclaimed my sister as soon as we were again seated in the carriage where we had offered mr a miss leaves us nothing to wish for either in her heart or her home a little more quiet would sometimes be an advantage said mr settling himself to sleep it is indeed a delightful place observed the clergyman very gravely and miss is a delightful girl yet i own i never visit the hall without feeling t at one thing is wanting and pray what is that v i inquired not quite satisfied that any one beside myself should enjoy the pleasure of finding fault with miss and pray what do you find wanting religion was the startling reply what i exclaimed have they really no religion do not mistake me said the clergyman they are church going people and they have a high standard of moral feeling hall which i am not aware that they ever late and what more would you are we not told that the tree is known by its fruit v in prosperous seasons my young friend the tree has but little root may possibly produce good fruit the question is how long will it continue to do so it is in seasons of temptation and trial that we see the between those who have admired religion at a distance and those who have made it a matter of personal between those who have simply a knowledge that they are weak and creatures and those who have felt the necessity of laying hold of the means of salvation but in a home so peaceful and remote as theirs they must be out of the reach of temptation if not of trial ah who shall say into what paradise of earth the serpent may not enter i think you cannot trace it here is not the mere fact of living without any definite purpose or aim beyond the amusement of the moment a proof that we are tempted of at least hall heard that miss is industrious and charitable in an eminent degree and who can accuse her father of living without an object when improvement is the	41
end he has perpetually in view v i have too much respect for the family continued mr to speak longer in this strain that is to speak of them rather than to them respecting their faults i will only observe in with this sub that few persons are permitted to go on to the end of their lives in a state of with regard to their religious those who have no belief and make no profession too frequently die as they have lived but a religious professor who wants the vital principle of christian life is usually and i may add brought into some state of trial or temptation under which he is compelled either to lay hold of the only means of support or to fall from the false position he has held and thus exhibit to the world the just of his fatal error my opinion hat always been that we are too apt to blame the world for leading us astray and to think that if we neither see nor hear what is evil so hall among others we shall escape its altogether alas how many wretched beings have fled the city and found they had the plague spot on themselves how many more have the companionship of men to feel in the end that they were only fit for that of fallen spirits it appeared to me at that time that the remarks of mr were strict and severe for i was young and inexperienced and had not lived to know that our most dangerous enemies are often found within ourselves mine was a delusion under which thousands and of thousands labor that of believing it is sufficient to be kind and generous and respectable and beloved and that no temptation can reach us so long as we admire and practise whatsoever is amiable let us look to the and see whether the season of trial may not arrive even in old age whether the tree not fall before the blast even when its lofty boughs have and borne fruit whether the richly vessel may not be wrecked even on its homeward way and with the haven full in view hall chapter n it made a great breach in our enjoyment of the hospitality of hall when mr joined us as he sometimes did that winter on my first interview with him i felt surprised that a man so gentlemanly as mr should be able to find pleasure in his society for he was anything but attractive in his own person yet on farther observation i found him possessed of considerable talent and if not open himself gifted with the power of the characters of those around him will you do me a great kindness said one morning when he had been invited to spend the day with us will you watch that man for me and tell me what you think of him for i cannot make up my mind whether he is rather good or wholly bad tolerably respectable or altogether mean how long have you known him v i inquired hall nearly four months i should certainly say then that a who no confidence in an acquaintance of four months must at best be more bad than good yet he has some qualities he patiently to my poor father s it struck me at that moment that mr might possibly have his own interest in doing this but i watched him through the day and gave my report in the evening as i had been requested without betraying any of the suspicions which were beginning to gain ground in my own mind my evidence though confined to subjects of a superficial nature was far from satisfactory and as if by a kind of understanding we ceased to mention mr to each o er though his presence had the same effect upon us all resembling what certain writers have described as upon the agents of power by that of some being not of their own order much as i now admired miss in her father s i was not aware of some points of excellence in her still hall character until one morning when my sister wished particularly to see her friend and i was sent by no means an to the hall to request that she would ride back with me and spend the remainder of the day with us i found her in the hall on this occasion m close conversation with an old woman of the neighboring village whose daughter lay at the point of death and so entirely was her attention occupied that she only bowed as i entered and waved her hand for me to pass into the dining room she soon joined me there with her accustomed welcome and when i told her the object of my visit ike willingly to my sister s wishes only to that i should not wait for her but allow her to ride alone you must not object to this she added on the score of propriety for it is what i am accustomed to and though it may appear to you a breach of decorum for a young lady of nineteen to ride alone you would nd it difficult to convince me that it is not in reality more safe and more prudent for a girl who like me has managed her own affairs from her childhood to ride a hall are footed pony alone through a where she is both known and respected than to be accompanied through and by a servant with whom she is but little acquainted but a gentleman friend a gentleman friend she exclaimed interrupting me with impatience where is he to be found a girl cannot be too careful how she to the delusion of making friends of gentlemen and if you were not s brother and did not dislike me besides i certainly should not ride	41
with you there was no arguing with on subjects like this she knew and cared less about the conventional rules of polished life whatever point was discussed she went directly to the question of its good or evil nature and acting on the same principle regarding only what she believed to be essentially right or wrong she necessarily often did what the world would have condemned and sometimes even acted in a manner which however to herself might on a wider scale of influence have been injurious to the of society leaving the argument of propriety then said i entirely out of the question you will surely permit me to ride with you as a personal gratification i must dispute with you again said she for it would he no gratification to any one to ride with me this morning i am not going to over grassy downs nor simply to enjoy the freshness of the exercise and the air i am under the necessity of making several calls in the village and if you ride with me you will have to wait for me at the cottage doors with more patience than i imagine you to possess and is that the extent of your second objection it is said that a woman s true reason comes last and i believe mine is yet but you shall hear it if you wish for i am not skilled in concealing the truth by all means i believe i shall like your last reason better than the first well then there is nothing i despise so much as the affectation of what is good you like my reasoning so far v extremely now it so happens that from our hall in the country my father and i have become intimately acquainted with the of all the poor people in the neighbor ing village it was the habit of my mother to associate herself much with the and the wo of those around her and my has brought me up to do the same and how is it possible i exclaimed that any proof of the active power of such benevolence should operate to your just because you do not understand me and if any of these poor people should exhibit their gratitude as they sometimes do in a very and unreasonable manner you would look upon it all as a scene got up for the occasion to make me appear in your eyes the lady of the village of course i all tendency to such injurious suspicions but miss seemed to have understood the nature of my feelings toward her from the first and leaving me as i thought rather to prepare for her ride i remained in perfect ignorance as to whether my company was really irksome or otherwise hall i had never before that day seen on horseback a black pony of uncommon was led to the door and the lady soon appeared in her riding dress which became her more than any other she was indeed the queen of the old servant who held her rein looked proudly at his mistress then at me and then at the pony it had been taught to stand perfectly still until she was fairly in the saddle when it bounded from the ground and danced upon the green in a manner that would have a less skilful rider no doubt the lady herself was a little vain of this display for when she shook back her glossy from her brow and cheek i could see that its color was heightened and while she stretched her hand among the animal s flowing mane and patted its arched and beautiful neck she looked aside at me with a merry laugh which told how completely the subject of our late conversation was forgotten in the excitement of that moment miss looked both so happy and so well on horseback that it was with feel s hall of pride as well as pleasure i her in her s ride which however turned out to be a very different affair from what i had expected standing all she had told me of her intentions no sooner had we reached the village through which our road lay than found my patience put to the test by stopping at almost every door even at the or hotel as it was called where a red lion swung high in air even there in her and striking sharply at the door with her riding whip desired to speak with the master of the house the girl is possessed thought i what can she want here v i want to speak with mr said miss to the who had answered her summons and immediately the master himself came forward and asked if she would be pleased to alight no no said want to speak to you about old the gardener he has joined the society and i don t want you to be tempting him to his pledge i see you are hall laughing at what you think his folly you can do that as much as you please but he has been on the brink of ruin and it is a great thing for an old man like him to begin a new course of life if therefore he falls away again by your persuasion the sin will lie at your door so look to it if you please mr for we hear of a good deal that passes in your house at the commencement of this conversation and as it certainly was i had felt a strange nervous sensation creep over me by no means lessened on that we were stationed in the most conspicuous part of a village and on a public road where carriages were every moment liable to pass it is true i was myself too much a stranger in the neighborhood to run any risk of recognition i but i was annoyed	41
beyond measure to be under the necessity of waiting for a young lady engaged m a and in such a place nor was the spirit of gallantry which inspired me at the commencement of our ride at all revived by observing the arch which played upon the lips of hall as she turned to with me on trying situation i was even contemplating the possibility of leaving her she had originally proposed when she added with a total change of look and manner you must really have patience with me now j for this is the house where the poor young woman is so ill and i do n t know how long i shall be obliged to stay well said she to the afflicted mother who came out to meet her wiping her eyes with her apron you see i am behind my time but i hope i am not too late oh no miss replied the woman and she began again her story of often sorrows when suddenly turned back to me and with a look of serious concern requested i would leave her as she felt really grieved to so much on my time had this request been made five minutes earlier i should certainly have complied but the tenderness of her manner when she addressed the old woman and the entire change her character appeared to have undergone interested me too deeply and hall mounting in order to fasten both our horses with greater security i sat down on a low bench beside the cottage wall the humble which the within was about to exchange for one of still dimensions was and more respectable than many in the village the window of the sick room beside which i had unconsciously chosen my seat was overgrown with ivy and the being thrown open to admit more air into the chamber of death i found that in the position i had taken i could not avoid hearing much of what passed within what then was my surprise to find that could when the occasion seemed to demand it speak in tones of the soothing while with her own hand she performed many of those tender offices which the last e of suffering demands in this work of charity she was disturbed by the feeble cry of a young child which seemed to distress her beyond measure for drawing the old woman nearer to the window she said in a whisper loud enough for me to hear why don t you send away poor just for a few days it is hall impossible for you to do your duty both to the mother and the child but where am i to send it miss v said the grandmother she pines after it sadly and i am sure if i was to send it away the thought of what i had done would disturb her last moments there now she hears it and points to the cradle i and that is just the little pitiful cry it will keep up till nightfall if i did but know of anybody that would take it it would be a great mercy to us all said returning to the bed where the poor young woman lay wiu you trust your baby with me for a few days i will take great care of it oh yes to be sure miss replied a low voice that was scarcely intelligible it could not be in better hands a cough then came on and every moment threatened j but no sooner was the over than the sufferer sunk again into a heavy sleep and taking advantage of the opportunity hastened to the door with the infant in her arms give me something to wrap it in said hall she a cloak a shawl anything will do there is jane butler at the lodge i am sure she will he kinder to it than any one and i will you tidings of it every day but who is going to take it to her asked the old woman i dare not trust it to my boy i will tell you who will take it said bounding into her saddle and stretching out her arms for the child i will take it myself for the sooner it is beyond the hearing of its poor mother the better and so there we actually were again upon the high road riding back to the hall and with the baby in her lap yet managing so well both that and her horse that we reached the lodge without a fold of the cloak and probably without the young traveller itself being aware of any change from its warm cradle in the cottage had i endeavored during this part of our ride to my feelings i should have found the task impossible for notwithstanding the horror it might have occasioned had we met any of my college friends by the way hall i doubt whether i did not like miss the better for this of self of appearances of everything in short but the necessity of the case and the strong impulse under which she acted there said she after placing the child in the hands of jane butler with many charges as to its care and treatment there is nothing like one s own business had i left it to those old women they would have consulted about this little all day until the poor mother would have been distracted with their foolish talk and now we will ride as fast as you please for mr will wonder what has become of us it was on this day that my brother first thought it right to warn me against the nature of my growing intimacy with miss of course i all idea and even all desire of rendering our acquaintance more than the mere of the moment yet it was not wholly without	41
i rose from the and walked out upon the lawn to enjoy the refreshment of a clear moonlight the train of my reflections led me hack at that moment to the conversation of the who had regretted the of religion in his family and i to that there might be temptations within the most privileged and secluded sphere of human life after all said i there must be something in the idea of this good man there must be something to fall back upon in the hour of trial something to protect us in the season of temptation such were the vague conclusions which my short and superficial acquaintance with human life at that time produced in my mind i had seen in the pleasant home in which i had lately been received almost as a member of the family a combination of all that we are accustomed to associate with our ideas of earthly happiness health and wealth and freedom f om anxiety with a hall love of rural occupations and situation more than commonly calculated s these what then was wanting n kind feel not cultivated intellect n t time or means for the improvement of every good gift which the hand of a beneficent creator can bestow yet that something must be wanting was evident for the serpent sin was already entering this garden of and threatening to poison the peaceful streams by which its paths had hitherto been refreshed here was a proof then that it is not from without that our worst enemies us here the world as we are accustomed to understand that word was in a manner excluded society brought no here the theatre of ambitious hope no temptation to in its struggles pecuniary inflicted no wound upon the spirit nor was the of party feeling known within this peaceful home were all its inmates therefore necessarily alas no there are within as well as foes without the camp r hall and the gen r l who would he sure of his resource i sh have a hy which to try the of every man in his army r n is this without its test there v no safety even where the situation is where danger appears most ind protection most certain chapter m passing over the seven years i spent in india as having no with the whose history i would trace out i take up my story again at the time when i returned to repair a shattered constitution in my native land the letters of my sister during my absence had been too much those of a domestic wife and affectionate mother to be occupied at any great length by affairs that were foreign to her own fireside and they were moreover strongly with a fault by no means uncommon in letters that travel far and seldom for they contained vague allusions to circumstances which it seemed to be taken for granted by the writer i knew perfectly well but of which i was in reality as ignorant as if they had in the moon thus whatever had been the state of my feelings on hall my native country the darkness in wliich i was kept for the space of seven years with regard to the real situation of would have been sufficient to the knight of a more ar nt admirer than myself while the scenes into which i had been plunged with the failure of my health and other circumstances of an equally absorbing nature tended greatly to the impression which her society had made upon my youthful fancy the same scenes has ver a powerful effect in calling back the associations with which those scenes have been connected and no sooner had i set foot in england than my thoughts went back to and i recollected with some complacency that none of my sister s letters had the intelligence of her being married having no near relative in england except my sister and the state of my health rendering it desirable that i enjoy the advantage of easy and society i accepted the invitation of mr to make his house my resting place hall for at least some weeks late one and weary with my journey i consequently arrived at his hospitable home where there was little to remind me of the lapse of time since i had last trod that threshold except the increased number of little faces peeped with much suspicion at the invalid uncle whom they had so often been charged neither to disturb nor annoy yet notwithstanding these precautions so kindly meant there is something which does both disturb and annoy a nervous invalid in being the object of marked consideration he likes well enough to have his tastes and feelings consulted yet by a strange per in human nature is irritated by having the peculiarities of his taste and dis taste and pointed at i never felt this more forcibly than when my in her good nature described to her young brood how uncle liked this and the other until my fancies became like among them to warn them off from my displeasure or them to my good will not many days however had passed before the little had so won upon me hall that i could forgive them this as well as many other faults and i had one morning actually gone so far as to he into a upon the of being married and settled in life myself when the whole pack burst in upon me with the intelligence that aunt had arrived and was going to stay the day now much as i had wished to see my early friend and many as had been the inquiries i had put to my sister about things connected her rather than about herself the idea of actually seeing her then and there shook my nerves beyond the possibility of giving me pleasure and i wished from	41
my heart she had delayed visit if only for another day there is in fact an awful chasm made in every kind of friendship by an absence of seven years for two or three one goes along with the chain of events that happen at a distance four do not absolutely break the silken cord but seven it is beyond all calculation how any one will look and feel after a lapse of seven years and a meeting under such circumstances however eagerly it may have been desired hall must at first be with a considerable portion of absolute pain beside all this i had certain tumultuous recollections of the picture my imagination retained of her was altogether without repose it is true it had charmed my youthful fancy but sick and with the vivid of an eastern i had returned with too true a longing for the coolness and the quiet of my native land to wish for anything that would rouse me from the into which from a long continued course of failing health i was gradually sinking with such feelings it is no wonder that i spent an unusual time at my toilet that day for beside the reluctance i felt to meet any one beyond our family party there about my heart a secret desire to make the best i could of a faded complexion and bo to arrange my hair that the few silver threads which already began to about my temples should not easily be detected in these efforts i know not how far i succeeded but i remember that when the second bell had rung for dinner i waa still which was most be hall and whether i was enough to go down in my embroidered when i first saw that day i confess my was at fault he was stooping down among a group of children my eye caught only her and i was at a l ss to recognise in the pale thin ark woman before me the laughing girl i had left seven years before she started up however as i approached and advancing toward ne held out her hand in her accustomed cordial manner when i caught at once the flash of her deep dark eyes and the glitter of her white teeth as she smiled and spoke with that heart warm vivacity which i had never found in any other woman i have said that seven years make aa awful chasm in friendship they make an awful change m youth and beauty too i could not tell what had come over but her smile died away the moment she had done speaking and though laughed again once or twice during dinner that wild musical laugh that used to through us all like an electric her became serious almost be hall fore the sound had ceased and one ma tempted to ask from what source tliat voice of had come it was to look at the pale sunken countenance me and not feel that to one of us at least the experience of the last seven years had heavily laden illness had laid its upon my frame f but it was too clearly perceptible that hers bad been the sickness of the soul and i felt smitten with and shame that i had not hastened down to o er her the greeting of an old and faithful friend above all that i should have bestowed in with her a single thought upon the trifles of my toilet had never been to please by those means in which so many women place the secret of their her dress and in this respect she seemed now to have forgotten the natural vanity of her sex she was dressed in the simplest style imaginable and had the glossy of her long dark hair required more than a moment s thought they would never have fallen in such luxuriant beauty over her brow and cheek hall by my sister s children was little less than worshipped and not she both gave the law among them and administered summary justice tbey desired nothing so much as to her whole attention while on every symptom she evinced of yielding herself to their caresses she was enclosed in all their little arms at once she had never looked so amiable to me as in the midst of this little group and i could not help mentally exclaiming is this the woman who has no one to help her to bear the weight of sorrowful experience no one to her in affliction no bosom friend to shield and cherish her i think she must have read my thoughts in the long earnest gaze i fixed upon her for though she suddenly averted her face and stooped down to attend to one of the children i could see that the rosy blush of former days had risen to her cheek and when she looked up and spoke to me again there was a glistening in her eyes like the trace of tears which had been driven back altogether there was a mystery about which i vainly attempted to un ball not was it until my strength enabled me to accept the invitation of her father to spend a day at the hall that i could form any conjecture as to the change which seven years had produced in her character and ap the first mild day of spring weather spent in scenes once so familiar that i should have it impossible ever to forget them and yet as we pursued our way i had to trust myself to the guidance of my companion to lead me along the nearest path perhaps i ought rather to say to the guidance of her horse for she herself ap to be entirely absorbed in her own thoughts so much so that she answered me at random a i spoke to her and for the sake of keeping up the	41
and appearance betraying the deepest melancholy yet she started up as i approached shook off her and endeavored to converse in her accustomed spirited and lively manner i could discover however that her thoughts were wandering and often during the course of the evening when i was engaged in an hall which she had asked for the sole purpose of keeping me occupied i see that her attention was turned to the door as if she was listening for some expected sound at last there were from the dining room perhaps of the most humiliating and painful description to which the human ear has ever heen accustomed sounds which indicated hut too plainly the degradation of old age consisting of fits of childish laughter of a tremulous and voice raised its natural height and of sudden low tones of imperious command as if the of his own folly would still assert a sort of dominion oyer others opened the piano and began to play a lively air it is not often she said that ladies invite themselves to sing hut here is an old scotch that i think will just suit your taste unless indeed seven years have altered you as much as they have altered some others i of course all change of taste in this respect and she began to sing with out farther hall i have looked at the faces of what are called good singers when their voices were in full operation and the charm of their per has heen instantly destroyed but with the case was widely different she had too much truth even in her countenance for it to suffer under the influence of music so sweet and touching as her own and it was not the least charm among the many she possessed that when she was singing you might gaze with pleasure as well as listen with delight there was certainly something in her music which exercised a sort of spell over me for no sooner was her ballad concluded than i forgot myself so far as to exclaim this will not do you must not sing to me unless you are prepared to go back with me to india to share the good and the evil of my wandering and uncertain life i never shall forget her manner of receiving this very expression she neither smiled nor blushed but looked at me for one moment with a degree of earnestness then closing the piano she walked to the other end of the room b hall took a chair by the fire and as soon as i had joined her began to question me in a very commonplace but determined manner about some of the customs of the east this conversation was only interrupted by the servant bringing in tea which we took alone there being no disposition in those we had left at the dinner table to join our party the tea service had scarcely been dismissed when miss was called out of the room and such were the confused and mysterious sounds in the hall which immediately followed that i unconsciously and by a sort of natural impulse opened the door what then was the horror i experienced on beholding the almost senseless and form of mr supported in the arms of his servants and borne as quietly as they could carry him to his own chamber my attention however was chiefly directed to the figure of his daughter who had placed her arms beneath her father with his head resting on her shoulder and his white hair against her cheek and who in this manner took her part the most of all in bearing the helpless burden hall shocked at having been the witness of such a scene i still persuaded myself none of the party had observed that i was so when on returning to the entered immediately npon the subject by alluding to what i had seen i am little skilled said she in keeping to myself and why should i attempt it when the cause of my is so obvious my father and as she uttered these words she covered her face with her hands and burst into an agony of tears yo know she continued as soon as she had partially recovered her self possession that he used to be fond of sitting long at the table over his wine but i never thought it would come to this and that man that cruel keeps him up to his bent and i have no influence with him whatever have you tried your influence v i asked have you spoken to him on this subject kindly and candidly why no there lies my sorrow and my guilt there lies my difficulty too my poor father you know was always so v and so precise that i thought he would be shocked beyond measure and offended past me if i hinted such a thing to him in the beginning of the evil and then a it grew and became established i felt more and more to act so a part for he had ever been so and so kind to me it seemed too dreadful to be thought of that i should turn upon him with the accusation of so gross a sin so as i said the thing went on and now it would be of no use for i believe he has lost the power to resist you might still make the experiment said i that could do no harm and you would at least enjoy the satisfaction of having done a part of your duty i wish i could she answered from my heart i wish i could but strange as if may seem i want the moral courage when i first began to see the evil i thought i should be able to speak if it increased and now i think i should be	41
better able were it only and so it is we shrink from the most obvious duty until the time to perform it has passed by and then waste the remainder of our lives in regret hall mr yoa say it v oh yes there is a long history of that man s with my father which you will probably some time become ac with in one way or other they have been engaged in business together almost ever since you left this country nothing however has answered with them until the new which you must have seen in here so many hands are employed and such mighty wonders done that the poor people around us think we must be worth a world of wealth but what would money avail us if we had the wealth of and my poor father up every night as you have just seen him it is true there are days though few and far between when he seems to make an effort to be his better self again and it was seeing him so well yesterday and hearing that mr was away which induced me to ride over to your brother s this morning with an invitation which i believed you could not refuse for i thought it possible that by securing your company to day i might delay your knowledge of my father s actual state no sooner did i see mr fer s hill than i knew how the day would close for i always observe that my father is least like himself when that man is here miss then added you are not one of those friends to whom i would for your visit having been made so unpleasant you remember i doubt not the happy meetings we used to have at this fireside and if the change is painful to you what must it be to me v and is there nothing that can be i asked nothing that i know of she replied night after night i sit by this solitary hearth brooding over the same subject looking at it in every point of view and asking in vain if nothing can be done perhaps and she looked eagerly in my face as if struck by some new and forcible idea perhaps if i could talk to my father about religion it might do some good have you never tried it ah no i am miserably dark our good used to warn me that the time would come when i should need to the hopes i was so fond of hall ting upon but since he left us no one has ever talked with me on this subject and by degrees i seem to have lost the little hold of it i once possessed can you not help me here i was silent and we two friends friends not only in name bat friends who would each have done and suffered much to save the other from a moment s pain sat together alone after seven years of separation one having known much of the painful experience of sickness and the other of sorrow and each met the inquiring glance of the other with the total blank of fatal ignorance on that one subject which it was becoming daily and more important for us both to understand oh who shall dare to call himself by the sacred name of friend unless he can answer such an appeal as was made to me that night by the woman i had left so gay and happy the woman whom i found on my return bowed down with anxiety and grief forced even to the verge of premature old age so much had sorrow worn away the bloom and the vivacity of her youth yet by this sacred name i not hall to call myself a d such had heen the effect of affliction on the mind of miss that she seemed from the very weakness of her nature to derive more sat than in former years from the idea that i was her friend in this man ner our acquaintance was renewed with only one point of difference in our intimacy which on my part at least was more felt than understood i had been accustomed in days to regard miss as something of a for she had a habit of perpetually leading one s attention to herself and would rather provoke anger or reproof than submit to be unnoticed thus she had been a little too fond of placing peculiarities in a conspicuous point of view as well as of the vanity and the self love of those who formed her little court in order that she height enjoy an opportunity of flattering them more by her attentions and soothing them by her yet more irresistible kindness ah this however had now vanished as completely as if she had never known what it was to be admired she now seldom hall of herself and even when conversing me would always change the conversation as soon as my referred to her own character and situation this i regretted the more as i found that her feelings in their subdued and altered tone her affectionate solicitude for her father and the difficult and isolated position she held as the only child of such a parent were all to render her an object of deeper interest to me than she had ever been before i though the apparent coldness of her manner effectually me whenever i attempted to give utterance to such feelings the time was now approaching for me to decide upon whether i should return to india and as long illness had exercised considerable influence over my habits by the of youthful enterprise i will not deny that certain calculations upon the fortune of miss did occasionally mingle themselves with my admiration of character the possession ot such a fortune would enable me with prudence to resign	41
my commission if therefore miss would not allow me to introduce the subject in the customary hall manner it became necessary to the arrange ment of my plans that i should adopt some other method of bringing the question to a final decision it was doubly painful to me to have no other alternative because i knew that her fortune and her position in society had rendered a m te proposal of marriage a circumstance of such common occurrence in her experience as to be despatched in the most summary manner yet i trusted to her good sense and generosity for in me what she had left me no means to avoid nothing could be more embarrassing to me however than the perfect silence with which my proposal was at last received i could see that she was affected by it per too much affected for words but in what manner i was at a loss to comprehend and i had nothing left but to her to answer a question on which depended my happiness here and perhaps hereafter then i will treat you with a frankness equal to your own said die and briefly answer no i whether my answer is dictated by duty or inclination can be of little consequence to you to know it is as u as if you were to me the least at being upon earth there remained little more for me to say for there was a firmness in the tone and manner of miss which left no doubt as to the strength of heir tion we were therefore pursuing our walk in silence when i perceived with that while she often turned away her head as if to look at the plants by the way or the prospect we were leaving tears were streaming from her es so fast that it was no longer possible to conceal them from my observation encouraged by this evidence of emotion whatever might be its secret cause i very naturally resumed the subject of our con to which however she only plied with more firmness and decision do not said she i entreat you do not mention this subject to me again the convictions which have already dictated my reply are not to be set aside by persuasion one thing however i would ask of you and i ask it in all humility do not take my an r do not let it separate us as friends i have been by the hall most behavior to you that i could be nothing more to you nor you to me and i am pained to the heart that you have not better understood me you understand me now i and i repeat again do not let this foolish business separate us as friends i have no brother i might almost say i have no father now do not utterly me in my desolation i told her then for the first time that i was about to return to india she started but immediately went on let us be like fellow travellers then who know that at the next stage they must separate for ever let us part kindly for the dream of our friendship will indeed have passed when you leave your native land again of all the different kinds of romance which take possession of the female mind there is none more unintelligible to man and few more than that friendship which she sometimes to him in the place of love had i better understood the character and situation of i should have known in her case at least that he both offered it herself and needed it from me no or trifling degree and that the kindness she asked of me in melancholy and humble manner she had richly earned the right to demand by tiie noble sacrifice she was making as she be in my favor it may easily be supposed that after this interview i became a less frequent at the hall for i had never even when a youth been sufficiently poetical to understand the luxury of a hopeless attachment i consequently busied myself with tions for my return to india and thought as of my disappointment as i could i observed whenever we met was much altered she attempted to be lively but her forced spirits failed her more than ever and it was not difficult to perceive that some mental or rather spiritual conflict was absorbing every thought my sister often wished that she had some experienced adviser with whom she might converse i but happily for her she had already begun to feel that there is a beyond what human love can a friend whose counsels are more than those of any earthly adviser hall with tbe exercise of a mind thus engaged and unable to in its deep experience i became gradually from the society of my sister s friend an indescribable feeling that our destiny was tending different ways seemed to keep me at a distance from her though whenever we met there was an humble and a expression in her features which made my heart ache to think what she was suffering or had suffered at times i wished to escape from the pain of seeing her thus altered and then again i wished more earnestly that i might stay and be ever near her if by this means it would be possible for me to partake of that influence which i could not but be sensible was and her character it is often observed that before the hour of final dissolution the appearance of the human a striking and almost supernatural change as if preparatory to that great event and is it not often to a certain extent the same before some of those fearful trials which mark the most important of human existence and merciful it is in the of providence that hall bo	41
few are wholly taken by surprise sur indeed we may feel as to the nature of the trial which us but do we often find on looking back from such events that there was previously a kind of awe surrounding us a gloom a gathering like that which comes before a storm or a silence still more deeply felt a of our ordinary being as if to give us time to call up from long neglected sources the support which our suffering and feeble nature was about to require ball chapter iv the time of my departure for india was still and we were all watching one evening with some anxiety the return of the messenger who brought our letters from the nearest town when a servant from hall galloped up to the door and throwing the bridle over the neck of his horse walked straight into the hall with a note for my brother mr tore open the note and having glanced over the first line turned quickly to the servant when they both walked out upon the lawn in front of the house in a few moments i saw my brother s servant leading out his master s horse already he surely will not go said without telling us what is the matter and at the same instant he entered the room i going to ride over to the hall said my brother in a tone of assumed composure mr has been taken hall ill and i must not delay you arthur can ride after me and bring back the tidings to in case i should be detained i did accordingly and reached the en trance of the avenue as soon as my brother we rode to the door in silence here we encountered the old housekeeper wringing her hands and telling us everything but what we wished to know and miss i asked my poor young mistress said the woman giving way to a fresh burst of grief sits beside him like the ghost of what she was she neither speaks nor sheds a tear the doctor says she must be got away but she won t listen to any of us sir and there she was too truly like the ghost of what she had been and pale as marble while stretched upon his bed lay the senseless form of her father whose fixed and like countenance she was watching with an earnestness which rendered her blind to every other object he is not gone yet she whispered at as my brother had spoken to her and hall again applying her fingers o his pulse repeated he is not gone yet my brother would have gently led her away but she resisted his with an expression of countenance which at once forbade all farther interference it was not a time or a place to apply to her for information i and all i could gather from the was that mr had that day appeared to be in his usual health that after dinner he and his daughter had been for some time in the library together when they heard a frightful shriek and hastening into the room beheld their master leaning back in his chair his countenance slightly distorted and his whole appearance bearing every mark of approaching death medical assistance had been immediately obtained and though the circumstances of the case little ground for hope a hint had been thrown out that if in a few hours the vital spark should not become extinct a change might probably take place in such a situation miss could not be deserted by her friends and my brother with his accustomed kindness remained at the hall while i returned to ii r hall form my sister as far as i was able of au which had occurred on the following morning i was early on my way to hall i and musing as i went upon the many circumstances under which i had traced that path i happened to turn my attention toward the large building called by the country people son s factory at the same moment i was struck with the fact that it was not as usual pouring forth its thick volume of smoke to and the air my attention was afterward attracted by groups of in the village through which i passed collected into little companies and evidently talking over some momentous affair of general and individual interest concluding it was the alarming illness of a common friend and benefactor which very reasonably excited so universal a sensation i passed on without any inquiry from one party to another until stopped by an old woman whom i knew to have been a depend ant upon the of miss and who now eagerly inquired of me if i thought they knew at the hall what had happened hall what da you mean said i they must know it they know it too well what that he is off out of the country and all the works stopped and nobody left to pay a new idea now flashed upon me it was but too probable and but too true i hastened on to find my brother and desiring to speak with him alone told him all i had heard and seen villain he exclaimed as the whole truth by degrees presented itself we might have foreseen this a child might have foreseen it and yet none of us could step forward and rescue this old man from rum a letter which miss was able in the course of a few days to write to my sister will throw further light on this subject it began with a description of her own situation in her father s chamber at midnight where he still insensible to all that was around him owe it said the writer to his memory if he dies to his if he lives to him from	41
the charge which many hall will be too ready to bring against that of having been the victim of mere animal excitement in the sight of god i have no apology to offer but in that of man it may surely be some of his fault to say that he was on to ruin by causes which he ceased at last to have sufficient moral power to resist his with mr was from its commencement most disastrous sums of money seemed to escape from his possession without his being aware of their amount and every new scheme increased instead of his past losses beside which he never was calculated for business it harassed his mind and destroyed his natural rest he became irritable and apprehensive while the false to which he had recourse served to give him nerve for the and even inspired him with energy for new enterprise so that he became at such times a and willing instrument in the hands of a who needed my father s credit and capital to his own schemes it is difficult to understand how my father s honorable feeling should have been hall far overcome by one who was altogether unworthy of his confidence except that he always attached so much importance to ingenuity and enterprise that they covered from his sight a multitude of sins and as to my own influence i had shown my deep rooted dislike to this individual in a manner too decided and ill judged for my father to attribute it to anything but prejudice his ear was therefore closed against all i might have to say in this manner his affairs went on until they became almost too desperate for hope one thing after another had failed none with him but still he had credit and upon that fresh schemes were undertaken while his debts were increasing on every hand by mere chance i had myself become acquainted with these appalling facts and you may be sure that i reasoned with him that i pleaded and prayed he would make an honorable stand against the of hope and by giving up the remainder his property that he would leave us our integrity at least for the solace of old ge but unfortunately for my the e hall was ever at hand and my father was growing while his moral was failing faster than his bodily strength i grew desperate at last and threatened to expose our situation to the world rather than we should go on ing every one around and many to their own s it was then in an evil hour they finally overcame me my father by his tears while they bound me by a solemn vow never without his sanction to communicate to any human being the real state of his affairs you have often asked me why i did not marry here then you read the cause i can however say with truth that never hare i been tempted but once to adopt thia means of escape from the gathering storm which seemed threatening to once i confess i did for a moment low myself to dream of the happiness of escaping to a foreign land until the blast should have blown over but knowing that my fortune was an object of i could not bear the idea that any man especially the one who interested me most should awake from his visions ot ball wealth to find he had married a poor and wife the darkest page of my history is yet to come may reason last me to the end i have not lived to my present age and seen and felt what i have done without having had many serious thoughts on the of religion more especially since i have that in my father s case it was the only thing that could save him still i was dark dark on that myself f yet as everything earthly seemed to be receding from me as one hold after another gave way and friendship all but yours began to fail i more than ever in my life an awful and imperative call to look into real position with regard to and eternity i will not attempt to describe to you the state of mind which folk wed i saw but too clearly what i might have been to my poor father i felt what i was i something however i imagined might yet be done i watched my opportunity and ob awful day had followed him into his for the purpose of appealing to his better feelings and him to to others and thus if possible b peace for his own mind to which he had long been a i cannot repeat to you my words but if ever i spoke reasonably if ever i spoke forcibly in my whole life f it was on that solemn occasion for some time my father made no reply hia silence filled my mind with the dread of having offended him beyond forgiveness i burst into tears for it is a bitter thing for a daughter to a father whom she loves he was not insensible to my anguish and raising his eyes i saw that a flood of light like sunshine over a landscape was its influence over every feature of his face it was the welcome of a father s love and as he opened his arms to receive me i fell upon his bosom too happy to be sensible of anything but an unexpected thrill of gratitude and joy my child said he in tones of the tenderness do with me what you will from this hour we will begin a new life you shall be to me my good angel my are in your hands render justice if it be possible to all i closed my eyes and remaining still folded in my father s arms i silently	41
thanks to the father of for thus awakening ns to a new existence which i solemnly resolved should be devoted to his service while occupied with these i thought i felt my father s hold j and my head i saw that his own was drooping while his hand dropped lifeless by his side i scarcely know what followed my cries in the medical assistance was happily at hand and the next thing i recollect was that your husband and your brother with their kindness came to my aid mr will tell you all the arrangements we have made together for i consider the words my father uttered a sufficient sanction for the measures i have thought it right to adopt one of my chief objects in writing is to impress upon you and yours the importance of attending to the claims of duty before it is too late you see the consequences of my delay a few years earlier it is possible my father might have recovered himself before his mental and strength were gone a w years lie might have retained his before the world have enjoyed the comforts of our happy home a few years earlier he might have had sufficient energy to redeem the past and to devote himself to the service of his od and the good of his fellow what is his situation now the pulse of life still beats in liis veins but senseless and child like he remains perfectly unconscious of what has passed or what is passing around him and i upon whom this burden of responsibility has so long rested have been trifling months and away until at last when the anguish of awakened feeling roused me into action it was my just punishment to find it was too late this awful sentence seems n ow to be written on the walls of my solitary chamber on my pillow on my brow i and will it not be inscribed upon my father s tomb oh may he yet be permitted to experience if but one hour of natural and collected thought one hour of preparation for his final change one hour of repentance for those errors which through the weakness the nd the neglect of his only child may yet be made hall the ground of his final sentence the seal of his doom through all eternity the last and the most earnest prayer of the afflicted daughter was not her father lived to recover his powers of thought though not of action he lived to feel that she was indeed his good angel the messenger of reproof hut also of he lived to recover his understanding hut it was to find himself in an where a daughter s love had surrounded him with every comfort that was necessary for the remainder of his life he lived to find that his hereditary home had passed into other hands and that he was no longer the owner of a noble mansion and a wide domain he lived to find that the man whom he had trusted with his confidence above all others had wronged and deserted him he lived to find that while many friends had fallen away with his falling fortune there were others whom had bound more closely to his and one above all who together the and the follies of her youth to live but for hall his happiness and his support only for the comfort of his old age that small portion of the wealth she had been expected to inherit which had been her mother s it is true was a strict an for she had the sorrowful experience of the past to teach her that though benevolence and kindly feeling and all the virtues which adorn the social fellowship of life may be practised in a more than ordinary manner yet without religion vice even of the most repulsive nature may creep in among them and the whole impressed with this conviction she made her father the object of her constant care and as a parent guards a helpless child so she watched him in his weakness with a solicitude which the dark past invested with a kind of fearful tenderness yet at the same time with a trembling hope which the brightening future finally confirmed such then was the fate of hall for many generations it had belonged to the family of that name it was a situation peculiarly calculated for all that we combine in our f earthly happiness hall it was equally adapted for easy independence and rational enjoyment and for being the centre of influence of charity and benevolence to the surrounding hood it becomes a serious question are there not other homes thus passing away from the hands of those who have long re possession of their wealth their in and their are there not other daughters who see the same growing evil spreading its dark shadow around their hereditary hearth casting upon the head of age and with its deadly roots all the sweet springs of domestic happiness and do they still draw back do they still refuse to stretch forth a helping hand in time to stop the of this but fatal foe v the rising tide the stranger who visited the residence of mrs on the western coast of england could not fail to he struck with the picture of peace and comfort which her home presented she was a widow lady j hut her solitude was cheered hy the society of a son and daughter whose characters were now sufficiently to render them in all respects companions to their mother it was on one o f the loveliest evenings of that mrs and her daughter in company with an elderly gentleman who had once heen a friend of her s sat upon a which ran along the part of her house commanding the view of a wide	41
ocean hut a long line of deep stretching away into the distant west miss prepared to lead her into the house when rising from his seat he for the first time that a young girl apparently about eighteen and dressed in white had been their companion on the balcony and with a sort of instinctive curiosity he directed an inquiring look to miss which seemed to say whom have we here it is only my cousin grace said miss understanding him perfectly seeing the girl did not attempt to rise the old gentleman still lingered won t you catch cold my said he with that familiar but well meant kindness with which old gentlemen are apt to address those who between girls and women grace rose and thanked him re thb rising tide but immediately resumed her seat and the door was closed upon the lighted room and she was left to her even ing meditations and forgotten indeed it was very easy to forget grace she was so small and so still she was an orphan too and very poor but surely it is not possible in such a kind world as ours to be that these two facts should constitute any reason why persons are more easily forgotten oh no it was because grace as we said before was in her person simple in her timid gentle and not remark pretty that she was so often and so easily forgotten and though she was a poor relation and always came last into the and looked so humble that she might have almost claimed pity from a stranger it fell to her lot to find no room left for her at table whether or by accident the servants used to omit to place her chair and when she did not ally appear nobody remembered her existence sufficiently to calculate upon her coming thb rising yet for all this the humble and isolated orphan had her own little world of interest in which she lived perhaps a life of deeper feeling because it was so seldom shared with others what was the reason why she sat out so late this no one asked nor would they perhaps have felt more curious had they seen the tears that were fast falling from her eyes as she bent over the balcony with her forehead resting on her arm perhaps it was something in the conversation which had pained her for she was strongly attached to her cousin george and often ventured to take his part even when he was most in fault she could not be made to see the desperate nature of s principles at least she never joined in what her cousin said against him and thus she fell a little into disgrace both with the mother and the daughter leaving this solitary girl to her meditations we to a different scene which at the same hour was ta king place where seated around a social board a little company of choice spirits thb rising with george at their head laughed away the last hours of daylight and hailed the lamps that seemed to dance before them as brighter of a happier and more joyous night george had that day left his mother s house in company with his friend who was in great request at all the meetings in the neighborhood not only for his musical talents but his good spirits and good humor which without exciting any deep interest made him a welcome guest wherever he went it is true he seldom went away from these meetings in a state very creditable to himself it is true he made his own gratification the sole object for which he lived it is true he left an aged father to toil for his support because he had too much of what is called spirit to devote himself to any kind of regular pursuit yet notwithstanding all this he managed to keep what is considered good society and to maintain for himself the character of being a good fellow his own enemy it was granted but still he was accounted the enemy of no one else and the best companion in the world it may be supposed that such a character would often be deficient in those means by which the appearance of a gentleman is sup while being ever ready to supply this deficiency they became inseparable friends and perhaps did in reality like each other as well as such characters are capable of liking anything beyond themselves on the night described they had stayed late and the moon had risen high before either of them thought of returning home at last when had sung his best song rose from the table for no one cared after that to hear an inferior voice come said laying his hand upon the shoulder of his friend it will take us a full hour to ride home and we had better have the benefit of the moon over the sands for i fancy neither you nor i see so steadily ad we did this morning sands exclaimed half a dozen voices at once you won t go by the sands tonight the wo n t i though v said rising and joining his friend while supported the dispute until it ended in a bet which appeared to render the enterprise of going by the sands altogether much more attractive the two friends then mounted their horses and set off merrily taking the which led immediately down to the beach it was a beautiful night a breeze had sprung up from the sea and a few distant dark came floating along with it toward the moon but still she rode high in the heavens and her light was almost like that of day it was a beautiful night and many were the lively with which the travellers amused themselves by the way for though scarcely able to keep his balance	41
on the horse had often when in that situation a spirit of about him more amusing than in his sober moments to those who cared not from what source it came all his odd movements all the strange accidents which happened to under such circumstances he could turn to jest and the laughter and merriment with which they thb ill now pursued their way toward the sands startled from the shadow of a rock an old who was watching his they had passed him hy with a slight good night when wheeled round his horse and asked him how long it would be before the tide would be up and if they had time enough to reach the second which out into the sands time enough said the old man if your horses are good the tide wo n t be up to the yonder for half an hour yet and he pointed to a heap of black rock at some distance out to sea the travellers now set spurs to their horses not so much from any fear of the tide as from the mere of their own spirits which could not be satisfied with any sober pace capable however as had been of keeping his seat under more favorable circumstances he fell from his horse the moment it struck into a gallop and whether from the violence of the fall or the novel position in which he found himself he became so bewildered and confused the rising as to be long before he could regain his seat even then he rode with his head bent over the neck of the horse and sometimes thrown back while the loss of his hat and other accidents occasioned both laughter and delay to increase their difficulties a dark cloud now spread over the moon so that they lost sight for a time of the high land which in a rocky ridge stretched far into the bay and formed a point which they must pass before they could even reach the stream where the passage was accounted most dangerous still their horses were safe well ac to the road and as danger was the last thing that either of them would have dreamed of at that moment they only rode more leisurely altogether unconscious of the time they had lost by the way i wish that cloud would pass said land at last i cannot see the at the point whatever i would do and there is a kind of rushing in my ears as if the tide was coming up but that is impossible for the old man said it would be more than half an hour before it reached the and they are a mile off at least the rising tide the cloud did pass and was it the moonlight that lay so white them on the sand no it was the tide running up in long sheets of hissing foam each one stealing farther than the last set spurs to cried and ride ride for your life he did so and down he fell upon the sand and the foam curled up and around him and then retreated while he mounted again to make another fruitless attempt at greater speed we shall escape yet said we are just upon the and when these are passed we have hut the river and all will he over the were now their most immediate danger for slippery lis they always were with the the surf was hy this time dashing up among them so that no horse could make sure of its footing and here fell again and again it was so long before he could be replaced in his seat that on looking round to the ne point which it was necessary to gain in order to reach the village saw that the whole extent thb rising of the little bay was one sheet of foam it was not deep except in the bed of the stream and their horses were so that if could but keep his seat all might yet be well it was in vain however that rode t beside his friend and stretched out his arm to keep him steady he appeared to have become more and more with each repeated fall while the unequal nature of the ground i it impossible for their horses to find safe footing or to keep pace with each other himself was but just able to think and to wish that they had taken the route above the cliffs he even stopped and looked for a moment toward the land to see if there was no place where it was possible to ascend but in vain and the next moment they plunged into the stony bed of the stream and found themselves in deep water had now fallen forward on horse the animal grew terrified and rush ing desperately among the rocks and the foaming current it shook itself loose from its rider and then plunged forward and left him to struggle for his life thb had now but one to place the wretched man behind him and trust to his own animal for both for this purpose he stretched out his arm and caught the hand of his friend at th moment when he was rolling the he even succeeded so far as to lift him upon his horse but all his strength was unequal to keep him there he had become utterly helpless and it now seemed as if in attempting to save him both must perish still however resumed the attempt he even succeeded again and was only defeated by falling this time with his hand the coat of his friend with a wild and desperate hold which it was impossible to shake off my mother i cried as if the fierce wares could hear him my poor mother she will never survive this n ht if i am lost it is yet in my power to	41
is mixed with horror seldom causes tears while add but to the bitter tide one drop of gratitude or joy and tears immediately become the natural relief of the over heart why grace said as he led his cousin away from the house of mourning lest by again yielding to her own emotion she should be the cause of interruption or alarm to others how is you are overwhelmed with gratitude because a stern old man is melted into common feeling by the death of his son for my part i should have felt more pity for him had he the t received the first intelligence more like father and a christian man we cannot all feel alike said grace nor make the same display of sorrow when we do feel it i confess like you i waa shocked at the seeming with which our intelligence was at first received but those fearful groans george they surely tell of more than common grief the gray dawn of the morning had hy this time given place to the full light of day though it was one of the darkest and the of those which in the storms of winter the of the preceding had occasionally been interrupted by a rushing wind which now swelling into a strong gale blew fiercely over earth and ea sweeping across the bosom of the troubled ocean and the spray of the rising one vast bed of the tide was rolling out but it retreated with an angry roar as if with th work of destruction it had already accomplished all the distance from the village to the beach was now scattered with groups of s people who some of them from mere curiosity and some from feelings of deeper in had left homes to hear if there were any tidings of the body or to learn if anything more remained to be told than the melancholy story which had already from house to house with the usual number of variations and additions among these groups was many a poor mother with her children clinging to her cloak all look ing anxiously toward the sea and yet all afraid to behold the object o which they were in search there were men blessing and comforting themselves that their sons were not as this prodigal who would never more return to his s house there were young women who looked and looked again and all the while kept close together calling back to remembrance the kindness the freedom and the generous of him who was lost and there were old telling of their own escapes and wondering at and settling and again the manner of the young man s death and still the deep rolled on telling its dark s to none thb and his cousin approached the n ne of interest from one point his mother and sister with their household attendants from another way was respectfully made for all and they stood together for some time without uttering a word except to ask and tell in what manner old had borne the intelligence of his loss all look ed toward the sea and grace though she trembled violently dashed away her hair from her eyes and looked more in than any of the there see see said mrs there is old himself and alone and there indeed he stood the aged father leaning on his staff with his hair floating in the wind he stood alone too except for a faithful dog that never left his side he stood alone for he had held no fellowship with others in the common and interests of life and there fore it was the necessary consequence that in his grief they should hold none with him yet there was something almost more than human nature could endure to see a father alone on such an occasion and grace iso the ton left aunt and and stealing quietly np to the ridge of high ground on which he had stationed himself stooped down and patted his dog that she at least be ready if he wish for any one to be near him encouraged by having escaped a direct grace at last to stand bearer and from a natural impulse upon which she acted almost unconsciously she said in so meek and quiet a voice that it could not have offended any one sir will you not lean upon me the wind is very strong lean upon you child said old why should i lean you v and he turned half away from her t look again at the sea without interruption perhaps it was well that he had not ac the offered aid of his young ion for the next moment she was shooting an arrow across the sands straight on to a of black rock which was just beginning w stand out above the shallow waves and beside which some of the were now seen to be gathering themselves into a group what be the matter with grace said mrs the strange of her niece she seems in have quite lost her senses with this you were wrong in taking her with you george she would have been much better at home she has no spirits for such as these you are mistaken in i assure you said she was of the greatest possible to me this morning and really behaved like a heroine but see they have found him they have found him at last i am sure that is the body it was as had said the wretched man had not been washed by the waves to any great distance from the i ot where he perished probably owing to his dress having become entangled among the rocks f and there he stretched out the sand one of his cold hands still an iron grasp the of s coat which he had torn when they for the last time nothing	41
now remained to be done for it ths ri was impossible that a spark of life should remain and while ail stood around utter ing their exclamations of regret remained on her knees beside him stooping down with her head so low that she could have heard the faintest breath had it passed his lips y though her hair fell down and shaded her face so that none see in what manner she was holding her strange communion with the dead it seemed as if the girl had forgotten the natural timidity her aunt said the natural modesty of her sex for on first reaching the spot where the body had been dragged out and laid upon the smooth sand she had torn open the of the drowned and laid her hand upon his heart to feel if there was yet a throb or a sense of human feeling left it was in vain the smiled with melancholy meaning in their looks to see her fruitless efforts and the which none but a like herself could have entertained for a moment but still she knelt beside him and not the ghastly countenance from which other women turned away nor the that thb round her nor the spray of the sea foam nor the fierce wind that came with rain and drove half the idle hack to the village had power to raise her from that lowly posture until a was brought and the body was placed upon it and carried away before her eyes then she suddenly recollected herself and silently meeting the reproof of her aunt she wrapped herself round with a shawl and walked the last of all the party as they returned to mrs s dwelling our nearest relatives sometimes the last to understand the real state of our feelings the rude on the beach had seen at once by the behavior of grace ton in what relation she had stood to the deceased and they had regarded her with that respect which nature is not slow to render to real how little of this respect would have been shown by those in a higher sphere of life who had undertaken the support and of the poor orphan how little of this respect would they have shown had they known that she had so far thb from the principles carefully into her mind as to dare to love a man whose life and conduct were like those of and why had she loved him perhaps simply for these because he had been kinder than any other human being ever was to her because she was lonely and he had been her friend because she was despised and he had shown her respect because she was an orphan and he had promised to protect her it needs little philosophy to account for the origin of love there are human beings who cannot exist of and by themselves their very being is a relative one and the more th y are shut out from sympathy and kindly fellowship and the mutual of thought and feeling with others the fewer channels they find for the of natural affection the stronger will the tide of that affection be when it does burst forth as it were in one living stream all the pent up and sealed fountains which lay beneath the surface of their desert life the rising bitterly would mrs have reproached her niece had she known why among that crowd of strangers she had stood the first why she had approached the nearest to that awful spectacle why she had heen the only one to endeavor to that cold hand why she alone had hoped against hope that there might still he life happily for poor grace the strangeness of her conduct met with no farther censure than its absence of decorum deserved and this was even in consideration of the childish weakness with which she was so often charged for like most persons in her situation she had often to bear the blame of a fault and its direct opposite at the same time no however ought to be offered for the chief fault of which grace was guilty that of loving a dissipated and man she felt that she deserved no pity and therefore she asked for none she had her punishment within herself and the perpetual sense of condemnation which she bore about with her made her stiu more meek and humble and the rising under reproof than she would otherwise have been nor did she regard the errors of with more in her own mind than the rest of the world evinced toward them in proportion to the high estimate of what she believed to be his virtues was her fear her sorrow her hatred of his vices these however she never spoke of except to himself there were others to do that she thought and when so many voices were against him there was the less need of hers thus she was often thought to look with too an eye both upon his conduct and that of her cousin george the fact was she loved her cousin because she be that he loved and had those who charged her with to their vices followed her to the little chamber which she occupied alone had they watched her there when every other member of the household was wrapped in sleep they might have een such tears and heard such prayers as would have convinced them that vice ip any form but particularly in those she loved was no matter of indifference to her the rising tide there are strange in some of the popular modes of judging of human character which if they were to exist in religious society would he laid hold of hy the world and exhibited to view as proofs of the nature of all such profession among these there	41
is none more striking and certainly none more injurious to the well being of society than the habit of to young men of gay and dissipated habits an excess of ity and an absence of selfishness which are considered as all their moral whether this false estimate of character is derived from the glowing and attractive descriptions of some of the popular heroes of ancient as well as modem romance or whether it is merely that mankind can accommodate their judgment to circumstances so as to admire what it suits their inclination to imitate it is not our business now to inquire but it may not be foreign to the subject in hand to tax the patience of the reader for a few moments so far as to ask in what does the generosity and the dis the rising tide of the characters alluded to consist is it in their kind and consistent regard to the feelings of those hy whom they are most beloved and whom they profess to love in t is it in their in the they undergo for the sake of the happiness of others is it in the full and efficient returns they render for all the care and anxiety of which they are the cause is it in the abundant of their pecuniary means to support the destitute and to solace the afflicted is it in the and with which they hold themselves ready at the call of duty to answer the demands of friendship and affection is it in the with which they fulfil every trust committed to their charge is it in short in their absence of self love and their disregard of in com with the gratification of their friends if there be any meaning in the words gen and good they would surely comprehend some of these points and yet in all these are the characters of the rising l the gay and the dissipated peculiarly deficient if we could by any means of calculation add together all the tears which such habitually and cause all the hours of anxiety they inflict upon their near all the and occasioned by their conduct between those who censure those who defend them all the wretched feeling they leave behind them they go out all the anguish which their return all the disappointment of those who trust them and finally all the wretchedness attendant upon the full development of those vices of which what the world calls is the natural and certain if we could add all these together we should behold a sum of human misery greater than ever was produced by absolute crime by murder or any of those gross and desperate against which public indignation is so justly and raised if we add all these together we should see through different channels a mass of selfishness with which that of the solitary bears no comparison thb the life of the gay man i in fact a of self indulgence of self gratification of self worship the in his despised and isolated sphere has no power to prey upon the happiness of society the tions he extend no farther than himself and if no other individual shares in what he gains he is alone in the punish ment he but the dissipated man has a wider influence he is the hero of society in its worst state he has therefore the power to the seeds of evil in a degree to his popular ity and in the same measure as he is beloved he is capable of misery he knows that he can do this and he does it stiu he knows that he is the cause of floods of burning tears and while he them against one draught it is self love that him again to hold the sparkling poison to his lips and to let the tears flow on but to return to our story the father of saw from the point of land on which he stood that three or four were gathered together on one the rising tide lar part of the sand and he knew from the number of persons who hastened toward the spot that they had found the body of his lost son it was not in his nature to connect himself with a crowd especially on such an occasion he therefore returned v silently and alone to his own dwelling where he gave the necessary directions to his only domestic and then shut the door of his chamber and listened for the footsteps of those who should bring home the dead they were long in coming and the servant had time to make ready a little parlor considered more particularly as her master s own apartment for it was here he used to keep his books and here he used to sit through the midnight hours waiting and watching for his son s am it having been his custom never to allow any other person to be disturbed by his late hours while these preparations were going forward grace walked silently home with her aunt and cousins when on passing a cottage at the outskirts of the village it occurred to her that help might be wanted in the house of mourning and step thb ri in back a few paces she entered the ling of a poor woman who was in the habit of attending on such occasions like most persons in her situation of life the woman began immediately to upon the character of the deceased adding her present testimony to her past that it would come to this she al ways knew it would come to this with many wise and moral observations which grace considered rather ill timed and therefore reminded her that the unconscious object of her remarks was now dead and that it became all who were left to forget and forgive as to said the woman i don t know that there s	41
much of that needed unless it is the injury done to my poor boy who has never been the same since that young man came to our house for what with his jokes and his songs and his laugh and he used to come here did asked grace with a sudden glow of color in her cheek to which it had long been a stranger oh yes miss he would sit here rising s ing after evening when our ann was at home and the poor girl takes on so i am sure if he had heen our equal we could none of us have heen more sorry for he never seemed above being one us as i said before when ann was at home poor grace she thought she had suffered enough before and now this woman was unconsciously mixing drops of bitterness with the draught which she had not yet begun to feel was one of healing and thus it must ever be with those who associate themselves in their affections with what is contrary to the nature of virtue and religion it is not vice alone which under such circumstances must them vulgarity must also for there is no refinement let poets and say what they there is no true refinement in a vicious life grace though simple in the extreme was yet high minded where her sense of delicacy was concerned and when the daughter of this poor woman returned from the beach sobbing and making as much display as possible of her grief grace felt too much offended to permit her to remain an thb bi tn b other moment in the house she was even going without having fully discharged her errand but suddenly her own words he is dead now those who are left ought to forget and forgive she turned back and requested the woman to make haste to the house of mr to her services there and by no means to linger if they should not be accepted notwithstanding the dreadful calamity which had so recently taken place it did not so nearly touch the family of mrs but that all was peace that day within her dwelling wearied out with excitement had retired to rest and by the time their evening meal was prepared he was able to join his mother and sister once more around the board the gale of the morning had then died away and when the moon rose and shed her silvery light over the rough that stretched away toward the sea george and his mother sat again on the rose covered balcony their hands clasped together in that expressive silence which more meaning to the heart the rising tide than the most eloquent words his sister too was there and grace and all looked toward the sea except grace who seemed to he teaching the where it ought to though her small hands trembled so that she could scarcely guide its fragile twigs never are the beloved of the family circle so dear as when recently escaped from danger and mrs and her daughter looked with affectionate interest at the noble youth who held a hand of each and then at the wide sea whose ruffled waves could still be heard retreating in the distance and their hearts over him as r a treasure newly found or just from lost the subject of their separate thoughts the same the awful night that was past when another wave of that angry flood another cloud over that clear moon a moment less of time and that vigorous form so rich in all the gifts of nature so with life and adorned with youthful beauty might have been stretched upon the silent in a house of mourning and desolation i cannot tell said as if think thb bi in tide ing aloud how it was that that poor fellow bo entirely lost his presence of mind he had no more power to help himself than a child would have had under circumstances and yet to see the mirth of his merry face not half an hour before when we rode down to the beach and the cliffs echoed with our laughter when i think of this and the last look of agony i caught as he fell back in the water his clenched hand still holding that of my dress oh mother it makes me wish to hide myself in the earth or in some place where this horrible never could pursue me he was so unprepared too said mrs and such a character there are many persons said grace who die in their own chambers and with all the warning of long illness as unprepared as he was ah grace said will you never see these things as you ought to e them when young women like yon observed the mother who have been brought up when such make excuses for the vices of men what can we expect bi ng tide shall i bring your shawl dear aunt asked grace the evening air grows cold perhaps we had better all retire said mrs no no said george both his mother and his sister and you too my poor little grace you shall no longer stand shivering there come sit near to for i want you all to witness this night that i discharge my conscience of a load so far as it can be discharged by an act which merely to the future would to heaven it could the past i now want you all to hear me and to bear witness to my vow while i look to yon dark sea with the same clear moon the same blue skies above me i want you all to bear witness to my vow when i promise that as god will give me strength from this time i never more will grieve my poor mother s	41
heart as j have done i never will stain my own character nor the moral degradation which man must suffer under the mastery of wine and in the fellowship of those whose only enjoyment thb rising tide is the excitement for the moment purchased by the sacrifice of domestic peace now this is my vow my mother my my poor grace you must all help me to keep it a solemn silence followed the mother s hands were for a moment clasped together in the attitude of until her feelings burst all bounds and she actually sobbed aloud leaned her head upon her brother s shoulder while her tears fell thick and fast upon his bosom grace alone was silent and wept not like the rest they were a happy little party who sat beside mrs s cheerful fire that evening for they were happy in that peaceful solemn feeling which beyond all others deserves the name of happiness they were happy in knowing that evil was and good at least happy in confidence restored in valued in trust held sacred and in peace regained if grace looked less cheerful than the rest it was only that she had a of showing her satisfaction for none were more thankful than she was for the thb bi ing tide resolution her cousin had made nor was he unconscious of her meaning when she held his hand at parting for the night and looked up into his face and bid him such a kind good night as spoke the true language of affectionate regard there were also other proofs of her sympathy with his state of mind with which none were acquainted it was her custom at all times to visit his chamber as well as her aunt s and s before the hour of retiring to rest to see that all things were ready for the night and all their comforts separately regularly provided for though she never on any occasion neglected those of her cousin george and would have done just as much for him when she knew he was the rules of propriety and decorum as she did at other times yet on this night she had taken a bible a book she feared he too much neglected and placed it on his dressing table in order that he might if so posed strengthen his recent resolution by studying its sacred and pages saw the strange thb and supposed it had been his mother or his sister who had placed it there and now the hour of escape from observation arrived for poor grace the hour she was in the habit of calculating upon many times the long day the hour when she could shut the door of her chamber and feel that she was alone the hour when if she could do nothing to serve the secretly beloved she could at least pray for him bewildered with the confusion of images which through this day had flitted before her i worn to a state of weariness which left her no power to rest distracted with the part she had been acting sometimes false and sometimes too sorrowfully true she had a vague feeling that by flying to her own room and casting herself upon her knees she should be able as on other weary nights to throw some of the burden of her soul what then was the agony of her mind when after assuming this attitude the thought suddenly across her brain that she had no longer any one to pray for that hi doom was now sealed for ever that neither tears nor the tide could now be for him how little do they understand of true loveliness who have never known this state t grace e from the ground appalled with a fresh sense of her situation and wringing her hands with a burst of agony would at that moment have freely suffered every torture that human nature is capable of to have called him back but for one hour of repentance it was not long however before this bitter agony gave place to feelings of a softer nature and the solemn event which had that evening bound together as by fresh ties the family with whom she was so intimately connected she knelt down again and prayed for her aunt who had always been to her as a mother for her cousins but most of all for george that he might be enabled to maintain his purpose and then she turned to the solitary father in his lonely home and so after a long time she rose up comforted and walking to her window which commanded a view of the village she looked out and saw that the a dim light was still in the old man s window how could i be so wicked v said she there is always some one left to pray for and perhaps this old man has no interest in any other prayers than mine the following morning grace was able to put in practice a plan she had formed for visiting the father of the deceased without appearing to herself upon his notice and in this she obtained the full approbation of her aunt who was extremely to adopt some mode of expressing her sympathy with the parent he was however so little known to any one so reserved and inaccessible in his own character that this was an object of no easy and had not grace been a more than commonly willing messenger and so meek besides as not to shrink from the probability of meeting with a mrs s intended kindness would never have been carried into effect there were many considerations now to be entered into with regard to the funeral in which female aid was not altogether out the rising tide of place and grace began by consulting with the servant and occasionally sending	41
messages to the master which he answered promptly and without anything like displeasure but rather as if relieved from a burden by others having taken this affair upon themselves grace had ed it would be so for she possessed that kind of insight into character which a naturally strong power of sympathy affords and which is perhaps more service able in the common events of life than talents of a higher and more distinguished order thus before the day of the funeral arrived grace had become a sort of assistant in the melancholy preparations and retiring and modest as was her general bearing her aunt and cousins were surprised to find the tact and skill with which she contrived to manage these affairs without appearing to manage them at all mrs and her daughter had both made the same experiment and had both failed they were too much of fine ladies to suit the taste of such a man as im ths and besides they were now too happy to with him in reality though they spoke and well in the language of grace on the contrary seldom uttered an expression which could lead the reserved and solitary man to think that he himself was the subject of her observations he only noticed that she took a part in the preparations for the funeral and he thought it was quite right for those who had a taste for such things to take them into their own hands and now the morning of that day had come and all things were in readiness and grace felt that her melancholy task was done for what right had she to take part in the mourning what right had she even to be seen to weep for what were the to her while she was occupied while she trod with gentle step about the house and felt that she had an errand or duty there she was comparatively happy she could even pass the door of that silent room though she had done this as seldom as possible but now tbat all was ready that the grave thb rising claimed its own and the sacred charge must be resigned she felt a strange sinking of the soul a sense of in her grief under which her spirit failed i and having occasion to follow the servant into the room where the father sat alone beside the closed she lingered there a moment to see if she might not be permitted though silently to mingle her sorrow with his is all ready child said the old man in a voice at once so gentle and subdued that grace was encouraged to approach nearer and after answering his question she bent her head upon the coffin and gave way to her tears it was the hour of final separation both felt it to be so and the old man sat at the head of the coffin his hands clasped together as if their firmly knit grasp gave him strength to bear his affliction i while the form of the orphan girl was bowed as if with mortal anguish and there she wept as if her heart was breaking and the father was too deeply wrapped in thought to ask what right he had to grieve sad and solemn were the which the two thus spent together they were too soon interrupted and old rose from his chair to meet the strangers who came to perform their appointed office he rose from his chair and for them to proceed with their duty hut his knees shook him and he dashed his hand across his brow as if to clear his vision or to sweep away some image that still lingered before his sight he soon recovered himself however and with no arm to lean upon no near relative to wear so much as the outward garb of wo he walked after the coffin to the place of burial and stood with his head uncovered during the solemn service beside the last home of his only child there were many there who pitied the lonely father many who would willingly have followed him to his desolate home and shown him the common sympathy of neighbors and friends but his manner drew no one near him and he had failed either or to request that any invitations should be given to his house he therefore returned from the grave as he the t de had gone alone and walking directly to his own door entered his chamber without exchanging a single word with any individual even grace had now no plea for remaining and he passed her so hastily when by chance they met that she could not but understand his wish to be left entirely alone the next day however she found or made an excuse for calling at the house and not having been able to accomplish this before the evening she was agreeably to find that her appearance had not only been expected but wished for i thought you long in coming said old perhaps unconscious himself how much he was the creature of habit and how the quiet step and gentle voice and willing hand of grace had in reality won upon his heart simple as were these few words they had a powerful effect upon the orphan girl who felt that a way was now opened for the kindness she had found it so difficult to express nor did she as many would have done defeat her own purpose by expressing too much she even went away that evening at an early hour and evidently before the old man was expecting to hear her kind good night the next morning grace was the bearer of a present from her aunt and so she went on stealing upon the heart of the solitary until he began to converse with her perhaps more freely than he had done with any one for many years	41
of his life grace had observed that for some time he had been busily arranging his books and papers she had observed also that he was always at home and she was not surprised to learn that he had resigned the situation which but for the sake of his son he would never have held so long my wants will now be so few said he that it would ill repay me to be spending the little time that is left me on this side the grave in toiling for myself yet how to pass the time when no longer to exertion was to him a far greater difficulty than he had apprehended j and like many others the lengthened hours of his existence were often filled with murmuring the rising tide and discontent even common kindness from whatever hand it came with the exception of that of grace was scarce ly received with gratitude i cannot tell said he to grace one day why mrs thinks i have more relish for since the death of my son than i had she never sent me these when he was living and might have shared them with me it is the only means she has of showing you her kind feeling observed grace and why does she wish to show it is it not enough to feel kindly without telling others that you do so v but you know dear sir that sympathy is nothing if locked within one s own bosom do n t talk to me of sympathy i am weary of the word i suppose they call it sympathy when they come here and talk to me with long faces and fine spun words and before they have gone fifty yards from the house i hear them laughing on the other side of the hedge no no child i know what sorrow is i have seen a good deal of ths tide it in my time j and i know it is what few people feel much of except for themselves perhaps i ought hardly to say so either for f remember how you wept on the day poor boy was buried and that could not have been for yourself for what was he to ah my child i remember those tears they were more to me than volumes of fine words it was not always however that spoke thus to grace he was sometimes harsh even to her for it was his nature to be so and those who speak of great or even of great events of any kind wholly changing the tone and bias of natural feeling know little of that nature of which they speak there is but one change from which we have a right to anticipate any radical or lasting result and even that leaves the same tone and bias to be against so long as life remains still it was soothing and pleasant to that solitary and man to have the orphan girl so near him though why e came so often and lingered so long about him he was wholly at a loss to imagine the rising tide she herself scarcely knew the nature of her own feelings that she loved him for his own sake was scarcely to be supposed and yet she did love him with a strange kind of tenderness which made her long to call him father and one day when they sat together in the sunshine at his door and his manner was more than usually cordial she looked up into his face and ventured to ask him if she might call him father but a cloud immediately settled upon his features and he answered in words which poor grace was never able to forget no no child you are going too far now that i like you to come here i will not deny and that you sometimes while away the long hours and make my life less weary i can say with truth but that any other voice than his should call me father is a thing that cannot be no no when you have known what i have known you will understand how nature has her broken which it would be a poor mockery to pretend to tie again no no i have been a parent and i have heard the voice of infancy the name of father as thb rising time rolled on i have listened to the same sound until it swelled into more meaning and sunk into my soul filling all its chambers with the melody of love yes morning after morning i have been aroused from slumber when the early birds had scarce begun their song by the fond and playful touch of my own my only child and now these things come back to me in my desolate old age and i cannot no i must not let you call me father forgive me said grace with a voice that could scarcely articulate forgive me i am an orphan i never knew what it was to use the name of father or of mother poor child said and he took her hand and drew her so near him that she ventured for the first time to lean her head upon his shoulder at d weep in the meantime all was peace and joy in the habitation of mrs it was frequently observed of the good lady herself that her youth had returned with all its freshness and vigor i for her cheek now with health and her step was light and active as in by gone days it was im the rising tide possible for her son not to notice this change or to deem it otherwise than purchased by the sacrifice he had made not that he ever estimated very highly the mere personal he had now given up sacrifice was in the position he had held among a certain class of society who	41
now looked upon him as a sort of traitor to the pledge of good which his previous conduct had implied nothing was said to him on the subject for there was a dignity and determination about george which familiarity ever it was his wish to do so but his presence became evidently an intrusion among his former friends over every countenance a silent gloom like that which would naturally be produced by the entrance of a suspected person into a secret council he was in short considered as a sort of spy upon their actions and such being the general feeling toward him it became less to withdraw himself entirely from their society still there were some who entertained for george more than the common hb tide regard of mere and who felt a regret to lose from their social a companion whose position in whose talents and manners alike to render him a ble acquisition to whatever class he might attach himself with these friends it was a real difficulty to to maintain the ground he had so recently and in their opinion so taken why i ould you think so much they used to say of that he was a low after all and if he drowned by the rising of the tide it has only made us all the wiser by teaching us not to ride home by the beach when we have been out to dine to these remarks george would sometimes reply with a visible shudder for as he told his cousin grace he never afterward could rise from the dinner table without again the grasp of that clenched hand when the last hold of the drowning man was upon him there was one family in particular with thb rising whom george always found it to strictly to the resolution he had formed i and on one memorable day he had just begun to think that as more than a year had passed since the death of poor he might surely satisfy his friends by remaining with them at least an hour beyond his usual time he had even filled his glass again on the strength of this determination when his better feelings gained the mastery and he rose suddenly from the able and wished the party good night it was a fine moonlight evening in october when he rode slowly along his lonely way too happy to his speed in the thought that he had escaped though narrowly from breaking his solemn vow wrapped in these reflections and the many thoughts to which they gave rise he was suddenly startled by the sound of a carriage advancing with unusual toward him and drawing up his horse to listen he heard the clatter of horses hoofs at full gallop his next impulse was to alight and it was well that he did so for in a few seconds the carriage was before him and it t b rising was only by the of his eye and hand that he was enabled to lay hold of the rein of the and arrest its furious course my father a feeble voice at that instant and then saw for the first time the figure of a female in the carriage who implored him with al the strength she retained to assist her to go back in search of her father with however d she make herself understood and such was the agitation under which she that her simple story was long in being told it was no other than this that her father having got out of the carriage to the rein while thus engaged the horse had suddenly started off and as she believed had dragged the carriage over him and with astonishing presence of mind she had remained perfectly quiet while the horse was going at its utmost speed had been a few minutes later a sudden turn in the road with a steep descent on one side would probably have terminated her existence while had his eye been less steady or his hand less firm he might never the th ib have been able to stop the terrified animal and thus to rescue from an awful death the gentle being who now leaned upon his arm and urged him to go faster and faster still though her own strength was scarcely able to support her to the spot where she ed her father to be laid what then was her astonishment to see his well known figure hastening toward her evidently in the possession of his accustomed health and strength the consequence was a very natural one her reason which had the shock of terror and distress gave way under that of unexpected joy and the daughter sank senseless into the arms of her parent the following morning found both the strangers welcome beneath the roof of mrs miss for that was the young lady s name was sufficiently recovered to know that her father was safe and by degrees the whole came back to her recollection and she talked and smiled with the rest of the family at the meeting between her and george who did not fail to recall in his own mind thb ri in the temptation he had heen to an longer with his friends hy which means he would not only have a promise now kept for more than twelve months but would have lost the opportunity of saving the precious life of a being who struck his youthful as the loveliest he had ever beheld mr and miss were well known in the neighborhood but it so happened that they never had been introduced to the before their meeting now was of a kind to make their acquaintance more intimate than years of common visiting could have rendered it and the first awakening of kind interest to which an awful and alarming event had given rise was followed by a of intercourse in which george considered himself	41
n home teaching your way and mine t chapter vl the fire of self discipline the apprehension chapter ruin almost what shall we do false pride au labor degrading what do we live for chapter death and change courage plans of life what can a woman do the travellers and their letters is this my idol farewell to the onward contents chapter ix a new home dreams of the past appearances ourselves as others see us country etiquette life s lessons r chapter x an old and a gay in polite society my daughter the who shall we marry an introduction how very strange i chapter xi summer night in the city pictures of melody national music an of scenery and character moonlight music love and flowers the bride and her friends is this love chapter a disappointed fortune hunter and a sad bride prosperity victor a fearful the mournful midnight hours u chapter xiii repentance accepted revenge purchased by falsehood and crime the prisoner chapter a mother s never lose caste what can supply the place of lost the broken gentleman sympathy rest in peace chapter xv news from the south the burst let us go to her the imprisoned lady love justified i am not forgotten the end of an evil life a glad meeting ere we part for ever chapter gk ing home a glimpse of summer the soldier s return once and always the end two ways to chapter i a household and a home we sow the we reap the com we build the house where we rest and then at moments suddenly we look up to the great wide sky inquiring wherefore we were bom for or for jest e b mr began his wife do put down that paper for a moment and listen to me one month from to day is s birthday and i have promised her a fancy dress ball he may as well know all at once she added mentally one shock is more easily borne than half a dozen a household and a home mr laid down his paper to attempt a remonstrance but my dear will not the ball do without the fancy dresses it will be too conspicuous people will talk so much about it that is just what i want said she boldly is to come out and i wish everything to be as brilliant as possible it is always an advantage to a girl to make her in style s greek dress is exceedingly becoming even the dresses made he muttered what use is it for me to say anything but raising his voice he added what advantage can there be to a young girl in having her name on every one s lip her appearance as if she were an opera i think the less a young lady is talked about the better how those old time notions cling to one exclaimed his wife impatiently don t you see girls marry well and obtain excellent just because they have the name of being fashionable or or dashing when a household and a home others far more beautiful and even more wealthy remain single or marry some nobody because they have hot been heard of properly no doubt these last marriages you speak of are the happiest those young men about town sons of rich families have generally few for domestic life look at well well interrupted mrs hastily we are leaving the subject is not going to be married yet nor either but i must be ready for this ball the whole house will be opened so i must the and the morning room i cannot afford it this year said mr oh yes you can i do not want anything extravagant mrs has given one thousand dollars a window for her new curtains and i am sure i can get as ones for five hundred dollars we can save in other ways but my house must look as well as those i visit at a household and a home money is getting scarce and i do not like to that is always the way k you financial men are to be believed there is a crisis at least once a month but i cannot help it give me two thousand dollars in ready money and you can give notes for the rest all this helps your credit too she added we must keep up a certain style and appearance or people will say we are going down perhaps we are was mr s inward comment but he said no more for he well knew that his wife s were like the laws of the and as far as he was concerned his hints of prudence were called his anxiety to lessen the expenditure for mere show was as meanness and want of spirit and he was finally silenced by being told that gentlemen never knew anything about household matters that his wife did not nearly as much as mi s a b or c and that she would not have her children excluded from a household and a home society and from all chance of a good settlement by any ill judged mamma mamma called a voice from the head of the stairs cousin has come and we are ready for your list mrs was not sorry for the interruption she thought she had said enough for the present she could not hope to make her husband agree with her she was satisfied if he did not her and when she left him he sat for long hours in bitter reverie of those who reach middle life how	41
few there are whose glance falls not first on the grave of some buried hope mr s hope had pointed to a happy home such a home as he could remember in his childhood the abode of love where happy faces gathered round the bright hearth where the heart might find an ark closed in securely from the wild waves of worldly strife he remembered the sudden alteration of manner the courteous invitations the graceful deference to his opinions the smiles and glances a household and a home upon him when a rapid rise in city property had elevated him from the of a small out of town farm to one of the richest men in new york the and of fashionable society he still fancied he could detect in some hearts true and warm feelings and the bright eyes and sweet voice of so him that he forgot to and believed that the lovely exterior was the true index of as lovely a soul bitter had been his disappointment when the truth was gradually forced upon him that his fair wife lived only in and for the world that she valued his wealth and position appreciated her acquired consequence as the wife of a loved to exhibit the most furnished house to give the most perfect but as little understood what should constitute a true home as she valued the true heart that so vainly sought a resting place and then far away he saw as in a vision a household and a home i the scenes of his happy childhood the low rolling pastures the now distant hills up against the golden sunset sky the beautiful with the little island where he had built his fishing hut the chestnut tree where he had shaken down the and the bright little face that watched him so anxiously as he climbed higher and higher then the day of the spring the broken bridge the by the thicket where sunny curls gleamed through the dark water and once again in memory tears fell above the little grave far away on the by the in the parlor the merry council discussed people and names and on character and costume mamma said don t admit any except fancy dresses it will make the rooms look so brilliant that is impossible my dear it would many of our best people there are numbers of our acquaintances who would not venture to wear fancy dresses l a household and a home we are quite ready to venture said mar laughing and of course we can count upon you and all the girls i am not quite certain answered i am at your service if you want me and probably and but i do not think that and will wear why not does aunt object to it she left it to themselves to decide i believe and they preferred to appear as spectators i suppose they are too dignified and consider it childish to dress up exclaimed but married ladies do it and even mrs smith who must be near fifty went to mrs s last year as queen elizabeth and she looked splendid in her of the diamonds might perhaps be splendid not mrs smith oh you know dress makes any one look well i wish i could decide about mine i am so vexed that it rains to night i wanted to help me and and a household and a home mary were to be here too and some of our said who is to perform nearly all who wear fancy dresses so there will be no changing of dresses and when they are over the ball will go on without delay we have four selected will be the bride of i wish i could decide why don t you take that one from said you liked the dress so much it will not do i am not dark enough oh said then do persuade to appear she has such magnificent black hair if she will we will engage captain to play the hero it would make a splendid the same captain who himself so highly on the frontier last season yes said mrs and he would be a capital match for he is heir to l a household and a home a considerable property on the death of some old uncle or cousin i know he her very much and if she would only play him off a little she could make a decided conquest i trust i shall never see my sisters themselves by seeking said rather proudly a slight flush tinged mrs s cheek as she replied of i do not mean anything forward only a little which is natural to all women after all she is not your sister she is the same to me he answered and there is nothing of the about her well never mind said don t tell her all this but try to her for the tor i should not be a very warm advocate and you had better plead your own cause when they come to morrow to help you but i will give them your messages now for the invitations said a household and a home i ma where is your list here this is a beautiful pen this important business proceeded rapidly and as the party were in high spirits they commented on the various names read aloud by mrs mrs and family one large loaf and four small ones very light baked and very heavy with their pale hair and eyes mr and mrs mrs is like a huge in her green velvet dress and scarlet she always puts me to sleep poor mr looks as if the influence had a state of and he will never wake up again perfectly as long as he lives do add a few more long words if you were to repeat all that to him with a grave face	41
he would say just so my dear sir you have described my case exactly mr and mrs how faded she is a household and a home said mrs i remember her a brilliant looking girl faded indeed echoed all color washed out with weeping for her lost beauty a few more names passed without comment the pile of notes grew under the hands of the busy writers colonel baron de read mrs with a little elevation of voice aunt exclaimed you are not going to invite him why should i not he will be a great acquisition he is very dissipated aunt he gambling and is the companion of the men about town we have nothing to do with his companions or amusements he is a perfect gentleman i do not consider any man a gentleman whose moral conduct is so very objectionable persisted but foreigners have a very code a household and a home from ours returned mrs his manners are remarkably polished lie is a distinguished officer a baron and brought they say excellent letters the works still in our opinions in this country i hope it long may ma am i think we can hardly be too strict in some matters in what for instance asked his aunt the introduction to our young ladies of distinguished foreigners about whom we can know very little except that their code of morals is very different from our own answered with a glance at answered the look you are very prejudiced you must wear that off in your travels you will be charmed with the baron when you see him would you like me to resemble him to improve myself by such a distinguished model you are not quite perfect yet she answered with a little laugh and look that at once dis a household and a home all his feelings of annoyance but the baron was invited said you must look your very best and make your last appearance as creditable as possible i suppose you will attend no more parties before you sail are you not glad to go glad and sorry said he i can hardly realize that i am going away for two years i have always longed to travel yet now that my wish is attained my mind dwells less on the pleasure anticipate than on the changes that may happen before i return that is only because you are out of health it always makes people apprehensive and very nervous i am willing to hope so said he smiling although ladies are usually considered to be the only persons privileged to be nervous now girls have we finished the list was compared and found correct and with many thanks from his cousins departed his walk home was not particularly a household and a home agreeable a new direction had been given to his apprehensions of change he called his fears absurd ridiculous repeated that a party acquaintance is nothing after all and finished by to his first thought why will aunt invite that baron was but eighteen fond of company and naturally pleased by the admiration excited by her beauty mrs did not of the partial engagement that existed between her daughter and but she was worldly in the extreme and would leave no means to secure for her children wealth or position which constituted all she knew of happiness what was to be the end were the good and evil qualities so balanced in s character that her mother s influence would turn the scale would she forget him or worse remembering would she deliberately choose falsehood for truth show for happiness was glad to turn away from that he could not solve as he entered his own home t a household and a home dr was a physician in good practice and in mind character and opinions presented a remarkable contrast to his half sister mrs his own mother dying when he was an infant he was left to the care of her relations for several years till at last his father came to bring him home to greet a new mother unhappily she was a vain frivolous woman and her jealousy of her step son and of the place he held in his father s affection soon grew into positive dislike but though she succeeded in removing the son from his father s roof first to school and afterwards in the of his medical studies she could not shake their mutual attachment which even seemed to on the father s part as he had increasing reason to repent his the only child by this second marriage while she inherited a considerable portion of her father s of character also exhibited her mother s ambition and coldness of heart and the continual lessons of worldly wisdom a household and a home carefully from childhood found no force in the spirit of dr was fortunate in finding a wife whose principles and tastes agreed with his own and when after the death of his parents he received his sister into his happy home it was with the sincere hope that her heart being softened by sorrow she might feel that there was even on a happiness more real than any she had yet imagined but though she could not help feeling respect and even regard for her brother and his wife she could not be won to perceive any charm in domestic happiness that could supply the place of the glitter to which her eyes were accustomed and if her brother s hopes revived for a time on her marriage with mr he was at last almost convinced of the real truth that she was incapable of feeling anything like genuine mr was not a man of strong character but he had high principle refined taste a household and a home placid temper and deep keen feelings qualities which soon won the friendship of his brother in law while they	41
were even by his beautiful fashionable bride we have taken a peep at the household of the dr and mrs had one son and two daughter and had also adopted some years before our story opens two orphan girls and as entered the parlor on his return home he exclaimed involuntarily how happy you all look so we are said were we very much missed do you want me to say yes or no it would be a pity to disturb your serenity was very curious to know what characters you would take our own we do not wear fancy dresses mother gave us our choice and we decided we had better not a most decision how will you be a household and a home able to make selves pretty enough without and feathers and handsome is that handsome does answered we are certain therefore to look pretty have you a good mark to day mischief where s i have a message for her very far off just now by the look of her eyes her outward presence is in the next room by the table does it rain in spain laid down her book when she heard herself called and laughing at s look of pretended curiosity joined the group by the fire my question is already j answered says you are not going to wear fancy dresses while especially desired you to appear in a from is your decision quite so i believe but aunt offers as a prime her assistance in a little match making on your behalf i am very much obliged to her said quietly r a household and a home oh are you then i may tell her you accept her offer her kindness i accept as it was meant her offer is a very different affair i must take leave to decline that i don t think aunt and i should agree on the do tell me what you consider the necessary on the lady s part it may be valuable information to me in the game of society one best by experience after being beaten in the game a few times said laughing busy indeed were the following weeks for the mrs having obtained her husband s reluctant consent to the of the house found that her calculation of expenses fell so far short of the actual required that even she could with difficulty silence all her scruples by the plea that it was for years to come and a few dollars more or less could not make much difference a household and a home but the memory of all was lost in the feeling of triumphant pride with which she surveyed the magnificent of apartments on the night of the ball her taste was good color light and perfume were employed competition by the perfect result the rooms filled rapidly and the company were seated in front of the stage erected for the the were assembled in another room and at the close of each representation they came round and found places quietly among the spectators no one appearing twice as entered the room he could not at st find a seat and stood for some minutes leaning against the behind it two persons were conversing five hundred thousand at least and there are but two daughters is more than two million ah he exclaimed as the curtain rose on a beautiful group from s us de mile r a household and a home les de sa muttered contemptuously as he found his way into the room yet the next moment ready to laugh at his own extreme vexation he could not be certain from absolute testimony that tliis man was a mere fortune hunter but his conviction was firm and perhaps his own attachment quickened his perception and sat together near the fire the ended and as the music began the darkened rooms were raised her eyes to take a survey of the room and met those of captain fixed full on hers he was leaning against the mantel listening to some story a brother officer was relating but there was a light in his eyes that seemed to send a flash to her inmost heart she was glad that a question from made her turn what is that strange instinct that tells us so surely that we are in the presence of one who influence our fate for good or ill who has a household and a home not felt the sudden dread and shrunk from eyes never seen before yet felt to be evil or the quick sympathy the gladness that as surely the meeting of congenial spirits circumstances may prevent any result may separate for ever such instinctive friends or foes but the power is there when these two conversed together during the evening they talked of passing topics as casual acquaintance did either feel that they were strangers so the ball kept rolling and as waves of light and music flowed over the sands of time if worthless stones and shone in borrowed lustre there were some pearls of happiness beneath the s found one when the beautiful eyes filled with s as bade him good bye and the bright rose from her hair was next his heart long after its hue of hope had faded chapter mv bark is out upon tho sea moon above a presence seems to mo like woman s love my native land i ve left behind afar i in other lands no til find like at home it was a severe trial to dr and mrs i to part witli their son he had gi high at college and had nearly completed his studies preparatory to his admission to the bar when he was threatened with that of our northern climate consumption change of air and scene might the danger if resorted to in season and a voyage to europe was decided on s plan was	41
to travel in france and italy for a few parting or to remain in italy until his health was restored before visiting the more northern countries he was possessed of excellent abilities temper and principles and while his good qualities lessened his parents apprehensions they caused his absence to be more deeply regretted when the family assembled to tea the night before his departure it was with a determination on the part of the younger members to make the evening pass cheerfully if possible the trunks were packed and there was nothing more to be done there was leisure to think of parting in vain they tried to talk of other things the effort was too evident and after a forced question or two they would become silent again mrs looked sad and anxious and scarcely seemed to hear anything that was said this will never do whispered one to the other if we cannot make mother laugh we shall all get crying together at last finding it impossible to avoid the parting that filled their minds they began to talk about it to mention the various places was to visit and decide what was best his seeing he professed to be able to bring home to each what they most desired and asked his mother if he should bring her a part of the golden a branch of the apples of the or a stone from the ruins of ah exclaimed springing into the centre of tlie room and assuming a tragic attitude more cruel than he left only but you leave no less than five she then began to with exaggerated emphasis and following her lead a spirited comedy was acted on the basis of profound tragedy while taking her a picture representing standing with folded arms on the stern of a vessel under full sail and looking at five female figures that stood with hair and outstretched arms on the of castle garden parting their efforts were rewarded by a laugh from the mother and this point once gained they did not give her time to become depressed again they were by the doctor who came home in the midst of the and all felt relieved when the hour for found them still in a state of cheerful excitement sailed next day on that search wherein so many are disappointed the search ot health and loving thoughts and prayers followed him across the wide ocean and throughout his long pilgrimage found all her fully realized at first she was nearly as beautiful as but so very different in every respect that those who one could scarcely beauty to the other thus there was no between the sisters and the elder felt no jealousy at the attentions on the new possessed great tact and considerable perception of character she had no striking parting talent except for music in which she hut she was in conversation peculiarly graceful and dignified in manner and beneath a vast amount of natural and fashionable concealed almost from herself s of strong resolution and endurance she liked the and pleasure of the world and her mother s advice and example a spirit of worldly ambition that was gradually gaining over her nobler but was energetic and the latter quality being deemed rather inconvenient by mrs who feared that it might interfere with her daughter s settlement under better training that daughter would have made a most valuable member of society happy herself and making others so under her mother s lessons she had every prospect of becoming a thorough from mere of spirit wasting in a round of qualities that would have made sunshine in her home parting their cousins the as they were generally called though two only had any right to the name cared less for general society and though mixing somewhat in the more dashing set found greater pleasure in home and their own circle of tried and valued friends met captain frequently hut always in mixed society so that he had little opportunity of paying her special attention though his interest in her evidently increased there seemed a spell in his eyes that could always attract hers a charm in her voice that drew him to her side he was a man of extensive information his taste was cultivated and naturally refined while his rather retiring disposition prevented him from being considered brilliant in company he was valued and dated by all who could look below the surface to his conversation revealed a new world while their tastes were remarkably similar he had advantages which she could not as yet have attained and he opened parting before her eyes that gleamed with radiance fi of light and beauty of which she had scarcely dreamed early acquired habits of self control acquired during grief and anxiety in her childhood had subdued her manner and concealed from per sons the most marked characteristics of her mind this looking girl considered even commonplace by many was an ardent passionately loving all things beautiful quick sensitive sympathetic and capable of the heroism the most intense devotion towards the close of the winter received a letter from an old school friend who had returned home to virginia and now wrote to demand the fulfilment of a promise to be her this was an imperative call and having accepted it had been gone about ten days when captain received orders to start for the far west the summons to leave the city and the deep regret he experienced enlightened him as to the nature of his feelings towards miss parting ton and his perplexity was at least equal to his regret it was impossible for him to marry his mother who had for years been in health was dependent upon him for all the comforts of life her own property barely for mere and the allowance he had made her was so lai ge in proportion to his income as to leave	41
him only sufficient for his expenses the question now was should he go without expressing his sentiments to or had he already so plainly showed his attachment that an open was due to himself as well as to her he was too excited to judge calmly one moment he would mentally exclaim against his own vanity in supposing he had made any impression on her heart and again memory would present vividly some scene or conversation until he forgot to reason in the sweet remembrance of bright horn s gone he could satisfy himself in neither case and at last remembering that he had an engagement at mrs parting say s where he hoped to meet he decided to tell her of his intended departure and let circumstances shape the result as they have done so often before even in spite of the best laid plans on arriving at mrs s his eyes eagerly sought the only face they had ever loved to rest on but sought in vain at last he and learned from her that was gone and that there was no hope of her return before his own departure with the and superstition that is inseparable from all imaginative the tidings fell on his heart as an omen of separation at any rate the decision was made for him now whatever the future might bring when returned home it was not until all the details of her visit and her friend s wedding had been duly that her sisters in giving the news of their own circle mentioned oh by the way captain is ordered off he was at aunt parting s last week and was desperately dis appointed at not being able to bid you it is wonderful how rapid in its action is the instinct of self control neither started nor flushed but continuing her work for a moment where is he gone she said carelessly i do not know i did not think to ask him but we shall miss him very much he was so pleasant very pleasant echoed and after a few minutes she quietly left the room she was quiet even when she reached her own room locked the door and sat down in the wide easy chair by the table the blow was too sudden and overwhelming to cause outward agitation but within the tempest was fearful for the sorrow and desolation were by a feeling of shame and self reproach that she should have her heart to become so entangled parting but the ordinary course of their acquaintance in their casual meetings had never awakened a suspicion in her mind of any deeper interest she knew that his circumstances would not justify him in seeking an engagement and although she felt certain on his conduct that he thought more of her than of s she respected him for his forbearance she thought long and deeply and more calmly as she became convinced that neither party was to blame and at last she could resolve that this trial instead of her should be an to a higher life and she could feel and value the privilege of having known so pure and noble a spirit and though there was no change apparent to the eyes of others she was changed for ever more from this hidden sorrow patiently received grew heroic strength and endurance from the love of one whom she considered so far above her resulted a striving after that perfection she parting are there not sorrows in life whereof it may be truly said that we entertain angels unaware how much of our highest joy hereafter may be the fruit of the of earth with their deep spiritual discipline there is an old legend of a fairy by her mother at the fairy and though while clasped in her arms the maiden turns to many fearful shapes and at last to a flame of fire the mother holds her firmly till at dawn she sees her delivered child her heart s best treasure perhaps in the dawn of the eternal day our treasures may be found among the fiery trials that we have clasped to our hearts in patience through life s long weary night chapter iii the crest of the wave tho bright on the of town the summer came and brought little change the ti the scene of their amusements from new york to and where they met the same people danced the same dances and pursued the same se of gossip that had entertained them all winter long one face however was missed from the circle of s admirers the baron had disappeared at the close of the winter to the ingenious cross questioning of the of her acquaintance mrs opposed an impenetrable calmness she was far too able a to them to the crest of the wave imagine that her plans had failed or to perceive her real perplexity as to the cause of the gentleman s absence had shown some regret at s departure perhaps her manner had been cool to the baron but her mother hoped that the charm of a title would soon her te in favor of her cousin was an excellent young man but he had no position and had all his parents absurd notions to such an extent that if married him she would sink into mere domestic life or at best a social circle and not all her beauty and tact could avail to make her a leader of fashionable society what a different fate was almost in her grasp as a all her gifts and accomplishments would shine with double lustre where could the baron be he had told some vague story of the necessity of attention to important affairs abroad but no one knew of his whereabouts if he only would come back now perhaps the lady s wishes would have been the crest of the wave less earnest could she have	41
seen her hoped for son in law on summer changed in dress and appearance so as scarcely to be recognised by his most habitual associates he pursued the yellow fly over the lakes and down the western waters shaking in his hand the box and the rattling bait wherewith he would the phantom those who would take a bee tree must feed the guide bees on honey and to enable him to win the he must secure to himself a sufficient l r i ion for the winter i he s enjoyed the summer in their own way the doctor found opportunities for various with his family into the country for a few days at a time and during august mr took the girls to join his own family at they were warmly welcomed by their aunt and cousins and their other friends at the sea side their first day was fully occupied in watching the ocean in its ever beauty an amusement the fi who preceded them had long grown the crest of the wave weary of as well as of the d and arranging the and all were now eager for something new there were some exceptions to this class of busy and among them the chief seemed to be an artist and his wife named who were gone on a expedition so much was said of s pictures and sketches and conversation that the began to feel great curiosity to see this lion especially who deeply with a true love of art had already attained a degree of skill unusual for a lady artist the following morning brought the usual question what shall we do to day a small number went to the alley while the lest gathered around mi s to hear a proposal of a party mary and i v ill go and meet the to day she said and with them select a suitable place while you that stay here shall the arrangements now let us elect the crest of the wave towards sunset a party assembled on the wide of the hotel and soon after a carriage drove and mi s sprang out the will be here in a moment she exclaimed now mr help me to hold this shawl to receive my treasures be careful mary mary began tossing out a profusion of wild flowers long stems of willow various and lastly a large bunch of garden roses these last were caught by mi s while she gathered up the ends of the shawl containing all the rest of the flowers which she called one of the young men from the to take there good people i have brought some occupation you make yourselves look fascinating for the ball ah mrs pray give us some of those beautiful by and by perhaps let me see who best deserves them how deserve them ma am the crest of the wave by making the most of what you have she answered with a laugh as she ran lightly up between and mary there had been a sort of from childhood and the varying attentions of the baron during the past winter had added considerably to the strength of this feeling especially on s part while they were on the best of terms although mary s high spirit and somewhat keen tongue often made it difficult for to keep up the appearance of friendship she thought necessary accordingly when mary returned to the she found the ladies all busily occupied in selecting and arranging their aided by the of the gentlemen and taking a seat by she advised her in a whisper to take a wreath of willow which she pointed out as peculiarly graceful have no need to wear willow said hastily with some vexation for it was not the first allusion miss had the crest of the wave made to the baron s absence i think it would be far more becoming to you thank you mr where is your friend the baron de mr had seen mary toss over the spray of willow and s look of annoyance so he answered miss gave him a wreath of willow to make a basket of no exclaimed harry she gave him the receipt of seed for he walks invisible i heard smith declare that he saw him on a steamer playing all night long and that he went at it quite in a business way too not more than the rest i fancy de was said to be a gentleman and you know gambling s no sin to a foreigner well i don t know but smith said he had a wonderful at getting good hands nd seemed in his fingers with whom the baron was no the crest of the wave favorite glanced at to see if she heard this conversation and was satisfied by seeing the extremely busy look with which she her flowers oh here comes the very man smith where was it you met your friend the baron last spring friend thank you not so bad as that yet i don t choose my friends among foreign and heathen if i do play at now and then or even at nine pins when i can find a fair player as an opponent bowing as he spoke to mary who had been with him all the morning well don t leave the interesting subject how did his look as fascinating as ever to say the truth he was so made up i should not have recognised him but for his voice one or two habitual expressions and that enormous ring of his but i certainly did not claim acquaintance besides my dislike to the man he looked decidedly the crest of the wave very appropriate gone to to plant himself in new in hopes of growing a money crop he begins there i guess to run his north as the season advances that valley is a fine	41
was not willing that he should go alone now if would only consent to accompany him everything could be so well arranged mr was glad to secure to his son the society of one he valued so highly and his liberal offers prevented any fear on s part of his father by additional expense although this would their son s absence dr and mi s could not refuse their consent to a plan so greatly to his advantage and after seeing mr and mrs comfortably settled for the winter at frank and into the land of silence how powerful is the spell that over those vast that breathes its mystic influence around the wide deserts with their shifting sands eternal rest in the lonely the crest of the wave temples where the steps of shall sound no more for ever the solemn above the dead of ages and the of desert mystery the though no living voice breaks upon the charmed stillness to utter her ancient legend though the tongues that her teaching sunk to silence ages ago beneath her shadow her silent lips shall reveal a wondrous lesson to the heart that aright children of earth hear my voice and read my legend let him who would know my secret come and in the stillness of night my words and interpret the mystery ye live amid the wild struggles of life that ocean that with perpetual and flows where for ever foam against rocky shores or where wave follows wave only to faint and die upon the sand far beneath lies the deep heart of humanity brooding in eternal calm over its buried treasures the of best o the crest of the wave hopes let liim that come i will teach him the mystery of life thou heart of stone with thy cold brow looking for ever upward away from the strife and turmoil of the world what thou reveal to aid us in our life toil what mortal numbers these lay thy hand on the cold bosom of earth where the ice bound stand a emblem of wasted energy for ever seeming to press forward never thou count the of heart of fire beneath deep in my soul burn like the lamps in the memories of ages the mighty hearts of old in these vast they read deeply the mystic lore of nature and they told their faith in stone and left it a sign and a to all future generations they who once peopled these wide they who beneath these glowing skies toiled and and and wept have passed away and through the crest of the wave long silent ages i have gazed up to the distant stars and beheld them sweep along through their vast which are which are because the mind of man cannot reach the scale of their through long silent ages i have felt the sandy of the desert break around my feet and still i watch and still i wait come stand by my side let thy weary heart calm itself in this profound stillness let the patient watching of ages steal into thy restless soul and teach thee also to wait till thy brief day shall end in rest which shall be calm and deep chapter iv shadows the story of a life tho remains tho many change and heaven s light for over earth s shadows fly life hke a dome of many colored glass the white of until death it to and were so generally included by their acquaintances in the phrase the and treated so entirely as the other children of the family that few persons imagined they were not very near relatives to explain their it will be necessary to glance back over a period of ten years ten years ago then one chilly october evening during the cold frosty days that usually the indian summer and give us a of winter and closed curtains the doctor and his wife sat together in the story of a their parlor tea was over the children gone to bed and the little round work table drawn to the fire beside which the doctor sat reading aloud now and then glancing up from his book to catch the sympathetic light in his wife s lovely eyes they were interrupted by a ring at the bell followed by a well known voice at the door will his honor see just for a moment let her come in here said mrs and entered full of apologies for the and addressing her rather story to both her hearers but dear i couldn t find in my heart to lave it any longer so i just got a neighbor woman to mind the shop whilst i ran down to see the who s sick said he not you that s very evident it s just the poor lady that has my room above stairs yer honor and a lady she is bred and born and as sweet spoken as ever ye heard the story of a ufe and two of the children sure it s they are they ve so what the matter with the lady and how long has she been sick i think it s a waste yer honor ye see it s about three weeks since i was in the shop the doors open and this lady walks up to the counter what s yer pleasure ma am i i hear you have a room to let she well i was dashed i ma am it s not for the likes of you that my place is fit i so she just smiled the little smile come and gone in a breath if it s clean and quiet it ll suit me she for i hear you re a decent woman may i see the room with all the pleasure in life ma am l so to make a long story short	41
she took the room and paid me a week in advance and that afternoon she came with her two little girls and there she s lived since working day and night always paying the for all i tried to make her wait till i d ask the story of a ufe it for i saw she s working to death and now she s worse she lies on the bed by times and i don t think she allows herself enough to eat and all her care is for the children there s many a thing i try to do for her but i must mind the shop and it s little after all to day she s very bad i took her some at dinner and she just tasted it and i asked her would i go for a there s no doctor can do me any good mrs she but she thanked me and the tears stood in her eyes there s many a little thing gone from her room the last two weeks and may be thinks i she s no money to pay a so i ll just run down to the at dark and may be he ll come a few questions from the doctor some more direct information as to the state of the poor lady and to go and prepare her for his visit he promised to follow immediately he found mrs sitting in a low the story of a ufe rocking chair by the stove her two little girls being asleep in a bed in the corner of the room he was speedily convinced that some severe reverse of fortune had reduced her to her present state of poverty and that she was indeed as had declared a lady the arrangement of the scanty furniture the few ornaments of little value but evidently relics the small with the choice collection of volumes all spoke of a refined and cultivated mind and the tranquil courtesy of her completed the favorable impression she expressed her regret that had disturbed him so late in the evening especially she added as she herself was convinced that her case was beyond the reach of medicine this the good physician saw but too plainly and he did not attempt to raise false hopes but gave her a for the terrible cough and promised to see her again next day from this time the doctor and his wife visited her frequently in many ways to the story of a ufe her wants while considerate delicacy prevented the obligation becoming by degrees they obtained her history not an unusual one but made painful now by her lonely situation and her anxiety for her children she was the only child of a minister in a little village on the new england coast his parish was a very poor one but with the habits of the people there was little distress the minister with his own hands cultivated his garden and did not consider that he had any cause for complaint if two thirds of his small salary was paid in kind produce being more plentiful than money his little grew up the delight of her parents the good man s greatest trouble being that she was so often interrupted in the studies he delighted to direct in order to share the household labors which her mother wisely considered no less necessary and if when he was ashore came to the the story of a life on other evenings besides the regular sundays and allowed by the laws of country etiquette the minister naturally attributed it to a desire to improve under his teaching an education which had the district school besides if the old man had ever thought that and were learning a different lesson from each other s eyes than any he taught them he would only have said was a good boy honest and pious and if he could make happy there was no more to be said but the minister s wife died and not even his love for his child could keep his true heart from following her who had been his life long happiness was left alone with no other means of support than by labor in the the necessity for exertion is often a blessing in disguise the imperious force of daily and demands drawing the heart from its absorbing though vain over the the story of a ufe past so poor found it and ere the first year of lier ended the midnight darkness of her earlier hours of trial had given place to a quiet sorrow like the gray stillness of a winter morning after a successful of more than two years came home master and part owner of the white cloud and rejoicing in hopes of the near of his dreams hastened up the well known path to the door of the all was still and silent weeds had grown up in the neat garden beds and between the of the door steps had crept over the wooden bench in the little porch the floor of which was with dead leaves from the whose straggling drooped over the unused door way and through the broken work startled by the utter desolation the young man returned to the village to find some one who would give him the information he almost dreaded to ask and as he left the familiar the story of a steps the dropping of a soft spring rain seemed like tears of regret for the loved and lost and of pity for him who should meet them on earth no more but sad as were the tidings he heard they were better than he feared the next evening found him by s side and like the night dew in the soft tears shed over past sorrow brightened beneath the light of hope and love eight happy years were passed by the sailor s young wife	41
in the home to which he took her on their she always spoke of it with such delight and affection the sunny garden sloping to the south the rose that climbed even to the roof of the little white house the green lawn leading to the road and the far view where she soon learned to know his new vessel the sea drift from a hundred other sail long before she could distinguish the gay flag her own hands had worked floating from the mast head the story of a life l captain had left tlie business and followed the trade so that his from home might be less protracted and few happier could be found than that of the little sea side cottage poor mrs how she lingered over this part of her story living again as in a dream her short period of bliss shrinking from the sad conclusion as if she could still the blow in a severe storm the sea drift was wrecked and captain was ruined but his high character and acknowledged procured him a berth as mate on a vessel sailing from new york and owned by a firm whose junior partner had been s it was a great and painful change for this family to leave their lovely home they had so long inhabited for two rooms in a side street in new york but they were still spared to each other and several months went peacefully by finding full occupation by taking the story of a ufe in sewing to aid in meeting their expenses increased by a city life she continued the daily instruction of her children who having no other companion amply rewarded her care by their rapid improvement s last voyage had been to and thence to liverpool and the vessel had now been due for several weeks tidings had been received of her sailing from liverpool but she had not since been heard from i know he is lost said the poor wife sorrowfully but in a tone of perfect conviction four weeks ago i was asleep quite late at night the lamp was burning low in the fireplace and there was a bright moonlight i was awakened by a step in my room i had fastened the door before i went to bed and the sound startled me wide awake i turned and by my bedside stood my husband he looked very pale but his eyes seemed to shine he gazed at me steadily but so sadly then bent and kissed my forehead and his lips were icy the story of a life i tried to speak but could not he said not a word but stood looking at me for some minutes and at last turned away in a moment i seemed to recover the power of motion and sprang up but lie was gone i examined the room there was no one the door was locked and the children were asleep then i knew that he was dead the next day i went down to messrs and s office to see if they had news of the ship none since her sailing from liverpool they spoke of hoping still to hear but i could not hope from this point in her story she added little more but doctor and mrs could readily understand how her already failing health had been still more by this great sorrow how her exertions even to the utmost of her strength could ill provide for her children her conviction of her husband s death made her reluctant to draw money possibly not due to her or to any debt that she might not live to pay the story of a ufe the sad story was not all told at once but at various times as the poor invalid could bear and ere it was concluded the last care of the dying mother was laid at rest by the promise of her kind friends to adopt her children as their own soon after the doctor went to the of the owners to inquire for tidings of the missing vessel good morning doctor said mr what wind has blown you down town so early not a fair one i m afraid have you any news of the ship young sailed in no answered the merchant gravely i fear we shall never hear of her more she has been out so long that there is scarcely a chance of her safety do you know mrs yes i have been attending her for some days then you will be the person to tell her that we have given up expecting the ship i wondered she had not been here to draw her money i am sorry she is ill the story of a life there is no need to inform lier of the bad news said the doctor she is so convinced that her husband is lost that she would not draw any more and has i fear suffered in consequence that will never do exclaimed mr poor thing sick and those two little girls to care for i will draw the for her to day did he his life she never told us about that i don t believe she knew it i guess she did not know it you see he was very before he sailed and it seemed harder than usual for him to leave home when i went to see him off he talked about his family as if he felt he would never get back i asked him if he had but found out after a while that though he had wished to he had not enough ahead to provide for his wife and pay too so i told him i would advance as much as he liked and get it done for him j the story of a life he seemed somewhat comforted and asked me to for one thousand dollars but when i went	41
to the office i thought i might as well make it five thousand dollars and i am very glad of it now the doctor did not trust his voice in reply but he grasped the hand of the kind hearted merchant with a strong and pressure it was not the first instance of his benevolence that the doctor had accidentally discovered and although mr was not a rich mail his judicious advice and when requisite judicious expenditure and aid had saved many from poverty and from that that leads to destruction among all the sin and misery the or that we cannot but meet with in a large city like new york it is to find as we often do find that riches are sometimes held by liberal hands and that if they do at last take to their wings they have during their stay abundantly to the relief of the suffering and desolate the story of a life this provision so thoughtfully secured rendered comfortable the last months of mrs s existence and gave her the satisfaction of knowing that her children would not be absolutely destitute to burden her kind friends winter passed away and one morning in early spring came for mrs she obeyed the long expected summons in time to receive the last words of the dying and to renew the promise of faithfully the dear little ones left to her care chapter v theories of education this child i to myself will take she shall be mine and i will make a lady of my own true and tender sympathy the orphan girls were received by their new associates poor had already learned self control her grief had so distressed her mother that she had accustomed herself to subdue its and her affection ever on the watch to anticipate her mother s wishes had rendered her character and thought ful beyond her years there is something profoundly touching in the sight of a child quiet under a great sorrow and who was naturally of a similar temperament though her mother s care theories of education had her from this premature development understood instinctively and grieved for showing it in the way most grateful to the child s feelings by and guarding her from all remarks or direct little devoted herself to whose more temperament exhibited itself in passionate bursts of grief and when all s caresses and failed she would come to her mother sobbing in her excess of sympathy and beg her to take on her lap and tell her of the beautiful home her mamma had been taken to and how she should go to her s me day thus out of this grief a fervent love grew up between the children by mrs s watchful care and had already learned to love their new and in regard to their they felt but one anxiety caused like most of the cares of children by the thoughtless speech of an older person o theories of education poor little said s neighbor but they ll soon get over it when they ve a new papa and mamma said softly they won t want us to call them father and mother will they i can t ever ever do it and a burst of tears concluded the sentence felt like crying too for she had heard about adopted children and her mother had told them of their duties to their new friends yet she like felt that she could never give these dear names to others but although so quiet she was very resolute and straightforward so after a few days she determined to tell mrs she feared and to ask her wishes she came and stood by the work table for a while in silence with a sort of vague apprehension and a doubt as to whether she were right or not please ma am she began and stopped what is it dear said mrs looking up but she saw by the pale gravity of the theories of education little and the firm lips that something was the matter and she drew the child to her with a kiss and a close loving pressure that the troubled heart at once please ma am what do you wish and me to call you the tremulous tone and anxious glance revealed her fears to mrs s quick penetration and lifting on her lap she said cheerfully to hide her own feeling would you like to call me aunt dear as my little do drew a deep sigh of relief and threw her arms around mrs s neck saying very much indeed dear aunt and a fervent kiss showed that she knew she was understood and was grateful and ere long it was hard to say which of her four girls loved mi s most dearly as may be imagined the and mrs educated their children on opposite principles we say mrs theories of education say for as she assured lier sister in law her had too many queer notions to be fit to liave any voice in the training of a fashionable woman and she would not suffer him to place any of his in the way of her girls future prospects one day the two ladies were at work in mrs s parlor when entered hastily on some message from her father her dress was entirely covered by a sort of large loose with long sleeves closed at the wrist giving her such a droll appearance as to cause her aunt to exclaim why what are you about to make yourself such a figure i beg your pardon said she for coming before you such a figure but i am helping father in the and this is my working apron helping child you mean i fancy you will blow yourself up there laughed and having obtained what she came for went away while mrs said theories of education that child does not really	41
go into the does she yes said her mother and she is really useful to her father she has an extraordinary talent for and he takes great delight in teaching her how absurd what good can it do her much i think it her mind and gives her a rational source of amusement instead of the means of wasting time that most girls seem to seek and in the meantime what becomes of her education i never hear her play or sing because she does not learn music she has no voice and no talent for music she likes to hear it but that is all and so you only let them learn what they like not exactly that said mrs smiling we are giving them a thorough education in the english branches history geography etc they must learn theories of education to neatly and to perform the ordinary routine of domestic duties but the more ornamental branches they acquire as they have talent for them is very fond of music and gives promise of a fine voice s gift is for drawing languages easily she is already a good french scholar and is rapidly in latin and for all these branches they have the best masters you know we cannot expect to leave fortunes to our children and we think it but just to them to give them such an education as will enable them to provide for themselves when we are taken from them so you expect they will never marry or are doing your best to prevent it on the contrary we are preparing them as far as we can to be good wives and mothers if placed in that sphere but to be able to be happy and independent if they remain single useful to themselves and to others it is all very well j mrs theories of education but i say make a girl brilliant and attractive teach her the value of her charms and accomplishments her to good society and she will have a far better chance of making a good match and raising herself in fortune and position than by any such ways of household let them enjoy their youth they will learn fast enough to keep house after they are married or better will marry rich enough not to need it no one is certain of not it especially in a country like ours said mrs and domestic training can be gained almost in while in after life when other habits are formed it is a severe trial i do not believe in girls too early but by me in the house they learn by degrees and enjoy the lessons i suppose you will think it unnecessary or even wrong for them to take dancing lessons and are going to join the school that opens next week and would have liked your girls to learn with them theories of education i should like them to learn very much it gives girls ease of carriage and is good exercise i will speak to their father well exclaimed mrs i never know what to expect from you when the girls are concerned are you about the children of s apron asked the doctor who entered in time to hear the last words she told me how much you admired it why don t you try your arguments upon me oh john answered his sister i know you are but i did not think you could blind a mother s eyes so completely to the best interests of her children as you have managed to do with a very serious charge pray what is it founded on said he gravely will you be content to see all your girls old maids with all their gifts and accomplishments thrown away or do you wish them to marry i certainly think they had better remain theories of education single for some time at least i hardly consider even quite wise enough at twelve years old and when you come to and how silly she replied i don t mean yet of course then suppose we wait awhile before we decide as you there is time enough well you will see my daughters settled and well settled long before yours and you will have to acknowledge that my theories were best i am content i am in no hurry to part with my and so the discussion ended like most others leaving each party as firmly convinced of their own wisdom as when it commenced chapter vl the great hear the loud alarm brazen bells what a tale of terror now their tells in the startled ear of night how they scream out their too much to speak they can only shriek shriek out of tune in a appealing to tlie mercy of the fire e a it was a bitterly cold morning in december and people came down to breakfast blue and shivering where is uncle aunt asked as the rest of the family seated themselves at table i expect him every minute dear he was sent for about an hour ago mother did you hear the fire bells last night how long they rang the great fire yes what an awful night for a fire it must have been far down town the bells near ns ceased so much the almost as she spoke the doctor entered and after bidding all good morning he sat down to breakfast tossing the morning paper on the sofa when the meal was nearly concluded he unfolded the sheet but saw a sight that made his cheek turn pale in spite of all his habitual self command what is the matter exclaimed his wife look here said he in a changed voice this is an awful fire and he displayed the paper containing a list of houses and numbers three columns long nearly every item in the appalling account bearing the words fire stiu raging	41
while as if all this were not enough statements were added of the impossibility of obtaining water notwithstanding the almost exertions of the of the frozen and of the sufferings of the brave men who worked the engines and the great fire on whom the water as it fell turned to complete ice yet who continued their almost hopeless labor till they actually dropped from exhaustion the doctor hurried away to the scene of terror and the family lingered in the room with a vague dislike of separating and a feeling of anxious dread that day can never be forgotten by any one who experienced it the gloom and quiet of all streets remote from the burning district the restless anxiety that rendered the of daily duties almost impossible the but horror that fell with the night the dreary peal of bells renewed at intervals though all the glare on the darkening horizon gradually becoming more intense the hoarse cry of some hastening to or returning from the scene of effort the hasty reports received from time to time of the steady progress of the flames and not least in fearful the proposal to arrest the progress of the the great fire by blowing up the in its path with in the afternoon mrs and her daughters came they could not bear to stay at home they had the all day and had left word for mr to call for them and started out to seek some change mrs sat down by mrs to give her a detailed account of all she had heard and suffered while the girls turned to the window where and were sewing and and reading aloud by turns how can you and read so quietly said i have done nothing all day i am sure i should not have worked either said but i am glad persuaded us for i am far more comfortable now than if i had about as i was doing but what is the use it don t make any difference whether you work to day or to morrow i think it makes a great difference said the great fire the exertion our and if we do not exercise in trifles it fail ns in great besides occupation by interesting us in something apart from our anxieties us after awhile i believe you are right said i wish i could be with you a little more i might get to be worth something but there is no good to be learned at our house don t speak so there is good to be learned everywhere if we look for it i can t find it and there is no one to teach me there is one teacher dear that we can always find if we seek him said gently i know said in a softer voice but one wants human help and sympathy sometimes especially at perhaps it is best for some of us not to have it we might depend too much on it sighed and leaned her head on s the great fire shoulder but did not speak for awhile and as this conversation had been somewhat apart they now heard s voice you are too absurd to go to this greatest ball of the season on account of the fire it has not hurt you has it no but i could not enjoy dancing and merriment when there is so much suffering around us did aunt say you must not go no she left it to me but i would rather not well before i d give up such a ball for such nonsense i d paused in despair of finding a sufficiently energetic what dress will you wear asked your pink satin it is so becoming no i have worn it twice this season i must have a new dress you extravagant child when you have so many pretty dresses that s what father says but mother always the great fire tells him he does not know what a lady needs i must and will have something entirely new i will go own town and choose something next how is we have not seen him for several days i he has a little cold but has been at the fire all day i suppose he will come home with your father if he got our message when mr came he looked so weary and harassed as to excite the anxiety of his and their kind mother he was of a peculiarly amiable disposition and if weakly indulgent to his own family that certainly was no excuse for their neglect the affection of his soothed him and he would often take refuge with them from the loneliness and discomfort of his own home as they rose to meet him on this evening his own daughters were surprised at the change of expression produced on hia countenance by their cordial greeting the great fire in it caused but a passing thought in it awoke reflection some days elapsed before the two families met again one morning received a note from begging her to come as soon as possible for she was very desirous of seeing her was not alarmed by the pressing tone of the request as she knew that s anxieties were rarely of greater consequence than the choice of a or the color of a feather nevertheless when her household duties were completed she set out enjoying the prospect of a walk in the clear winter air on her way she entered a store to execute some for her mother and while the clerk rolled up her purchases and counted the change she could not avoid hearing the conversation going on at the stove near where she stood two men were conversing with the proprietor of the store so brown and are ruined they say the companies won t pay one third the great fire that s a bad look out for he was a sort	41
of silent partner and is on their paper for a good fifty thousand dollars you don t say so i thought he was so prudent so he is but every one thought brown and as good as the bank i guess his folks have to change their fashions and come down a they wasn t as bad as most of those ones after all you see they always paid their way yes but that s all very well when folks has money to pay with but i m sorry for startled and pained by what she heard left the store and hurried on towards her aunt s house her heart filled with of evil not the least of which was the conviction scarcely acknowledged to herself how her aunt and cousins were to bear she resolved to mention what she had heard the great fire to her mother first as perhaps mr s family might not have heard the unwelcome news or perhaps it might be exaggerated mrs was alone in the sitting room and met with a determined assumption of her usual manner though there were evident traces of strong and but partially subdued agitation in her pale cheeks and restless eyes but she was a person who herself on the power of concealing her emotions and who had the key to this present trouble would not annoy her by appearing to remark anything unusual i am very glad to see you my dear has to bear a severe disappointment the great ball is given up given up repeated how by whom by the themselves they are entirely ruined by the fire how sorry i am for them and poor mrs has such feeble health yes it is very sad especially as i fear the great fire mary will be of little use or comfort to her she is quite spoiled by prosperity mrs being confined to her room so much mary has gone about as she pleased she is very giddy and thoughtless was it a consciousness of the helplessness of her own daughters under similar circumstances perhaps not far distant which gave added bitterness to mrs s condemnation of poor mary she sighed heavily and added go up and see the girls my dear they are in their own room ran up stairs and found walking about in much excitement and sewing i knew you would come is not this too bad began as she her cousin s cloak and laid it by it is terrible for poor mrs just now when she needs such extreme care and caution i was surprised to hear that they were to have had the ball the great fire mary would have taken all the trouble of entertaining she is a capital hostess to do her justice mrs would only have had to appear in the rooms while the guests were and walk through once or twice i thought it very of mary myself said and i told her so and she did not half like it she said it was all very well for me whose mother was never sick but that i would not like to be prevented from doing as other people did or called mean for making mother s illness an excuse for giving no parties but i did not think any one could expect it of her well said it is all over now they have just lost everything but i am so vexed because said suddenly the baron is in new york again he called here last night but although i questioned him about his travels he was very he was very polite in spite of your said j a the great fire and continued he regretted the very few parties this winter as he will not be able to meet so i suppose we shall have him here twice as often how can you be so silly but evidently liked to be considered the object of the baron s attentions she was called away at this moment to receive some visitors and as she left the room threw down her work and drew her chair to s side oh i am so troubled there is something wrong in the house some misfortune hanging over us and we have no home nothing to fall back on for comfort if sorrow comes father looks worn and mother fretted and i dare not ask what is the matter if i speak to she says it is only my fancy she has no head just now for anything but dress and company or heart either i believe and the complaint ended in a passion of tears held her until she grew the great fire words from time to time till at last looked up and said now i am better tell me what i can do not much dear at present except to prepare yourself bravely for the future whatever may but now i think we are getting into difficulties and is extravagant and does not seem to care try to persuade her and do your best above all to make home happy and comfortable there is one thing that me most of all this m de i am sure from what we heard at and before we went there during last winter that he is a and an adventurer and i cannot get mother or sister to listen to me will encourage him and what can she hope from such a marriage she says i am jealous but indeed it is not so i would not care if he were only respectable and that i cannot consider him although he is so well received in society i the great fire thought his reluctance to tell where he had been travelling this summer confirmed mr smith s story in this dear i do not see that you can do anything except to use all the influence you can on and tell her and your	41
mother all that you hear respecting his character i have sighed but then he s a baron i chapter vii deep waters whose are ocean of time waters of deep woe are with the salt of thou flood in th j ebb and flow the limits of i the winter passed heavily the great fire seemed to have involved all classes in its sweeping and those who were from personal loss were more or less connected by ties of family or friendship with the the companies could not meet their and as the spring advanced the increasing of the commercial world gradually drew into the of ruin those whom the fire had spared some yielded at once others struggled against their fate only to sink in more hopeless despair waters mr was fitted only for a quiet life he could not against approaching calamity nor was he ready of resource when the difficulty came although no one could suffer more in the thought of any reaching his wife and children or loss to others through him in order to secure his family from the of trade he had always kept a portion of his property invested in bank stock and shares and his old on the had been regularly and kept in order when he ascertained the amount of his losses by the fire he rejoiced in his prudence now this new misfortune threatened to him he felt that there was little to sustain him in his home his wife shared his apprehensions but there all sympathy ceased as her principles of conduct were opposed to his the baron now visited them constantly and although mrs certainly felt sorry for the poor she secretly rejoiced in be deep waters i ing free from a dangerous rival she was determined to secure the and the estates in france for and to this end no effort in maintaining appearances was too great saw nothing but the great prize offered to her vanity knew no more but felt a of the storm and gradually devoted herself more to her father but the baron feared to pledge himself carelessly to one who might be involved in the falling fortunes of new york and the general depression being to his mode of social existence or to the state of his which he could not as secretly at the table as amid the hurry of a gay winter he again pleaded important business and departed for more congenial scenes ere long mr s worst fears were realized but he had one great consolation in spite of his wife s his strict honesty had kept him free from debt no one could reproach him with unjust gain or with the of his wages but deep waters though nothing remained to him except the old farm and a very small settlement on mr he found that when all suspense was over he felt more calm than he had for months and he told his wife with a composure that astonished and soothed her but what are we to do v said she i cannot tell yet we must think about it i should like to go to and work the old farm again i am more fit for that and it will be long before business looks up this seemed reasonable mrs could say nothing but the baron the next morning she told her daughters burst into s grew very pale but came and sat down beside her mother saying what shall we do dear mother what will you do she answered with a half smile and i could give lessons or as perhaps we l exclaimed her mother angrily are you talking about teach give deep waters i lessons my children themselves as no never as long as we can find bread and water to live on your father and i have made no arrangements yet but this is too bad i think it is better than to open a as poor mrs had to do no need for that and it was foolish in them mary might have married well if she had been wiser young was quite devoted to her and his property is enormous while last week when i called at mrs s to inquire s character mary was dressed in a dark sweeping the well mamma you know was dissipated mary could not have respected him and i think she has behaved nobly since their losses she never and takes nearly the whole charge of the house she works very hard yes it is all very well of her but who were the john s grandfather was a working blacksmith till some lucky deep waters made liis fortune but the have royal blood in their veins and for them to become she paused for a moment and then added put on your bonnet and go down to your aunt s tell her i cannot go out with her to day as i had promised shall i tell her of this mamma they all know it your father saw the doctor yesterday and told him set out gladly in spite of her fears the blow seemed to fall heavily at last and she longed for the out door air and a quiet talk with the soft spring breeze refreshed her and when she reached her uncle s house she felt more tranquil a feeling confirmed by the earnest sympathy of her aunt and cousins they approved of her desire to exert herself and promised to ask the doctor to use his influence with her mother we were talking of the this morning said when did you see them deep waters i day before yesterday mary keeps up bravely and they are beginning to do very well the children ai e going to school again how well mr smith and mary have both behaved how so are they not engaged no she refused him last fall but soon	41
after he heard of their he again she was of se very much gratified but is far too high minded to marry where she could not love just to escape from labor smith is rather empty headed but his heart is in the right place and he has procured for them become security for mrs and has been as kind as possible in such a way too that they can feel no painful sense of obligation i had no idea there was so much in him how could we have guessed it during those weeks at a few days passed during which mr say made arrangements for breaking up his and dr fulfilled his no deep waters promise to of trying to persuade her mother to enter into her views but in vain he pleaded and persuaded he represented the opportunities could have of pursuing her own studies while a few hours daily to the instruction of others he offered her a home in his own family if his sister thought it best to leave the city it was all to no purpose the absurd spirit of family pride or that phase thereof which considers all labor humiliating had taken possession of her and she would not hear reason i really wonder you could think of such a thing for a moment john such degradation my dear i never could see any degradation in honest labor you cannot imagine that i would propose anything for your children that i would not urge upon my own under the same circumstances i cannot bear it said she passionately to see the hired deep waters what are you to do la the present depression can obtain no employment even were he accustomed to the routine of business and you know that however gladly i would receive you all it would be only for a time or i know i know your kindness is but i could not think of but my dear sister my acquaintance is large and if you consent to s wishes i could be of service you have educated your girls well why not suffer them to use their advantages in you and making themselves independent v mrs s impatience burst all bounds and she interrupted her brother with a torrent of bitter words and that required all his self control to bear in when she ceased he asked quietly what are you going to do we are going to the old e is in pretty good repair the lease has just expired and the remnant of our property r deep waters will enable us to make a very good appearance in an out of the way village we shall reserve some of our furniture the piano and a few of our books for the for the rest it is no one s business and country people do not know how to style then we have prospects of future wealth in those unsettled claims we can do well enough dr felt it was no use to say more he had urged in vain every argument to induce his sister to employ her own energy and the talents of her children in some sphere where they could benefit themselves and others so when she thus ended where she began he got up with a sigh bid her and walked out of the house he proceeded on his round of calls sorely troubled in spirit he knew how very small a remained to them how they all were for the labor of country life how many were their artificial wants how severe and incessant must be the struggle to keep up deep waters ii appearances as his sister was determined to do and he could only console himself with the hope that time would bring wisdom but as he pursued his daily labors he saw other and deeper trials sickness and helpless and hopeless poverty not for show and false pride but for daily bread he witnessed the brave endurance of the christian supporting the through of fierce pain the calm faith of the dying saint gazing from afar at the dawning glories of the life to come or the harder victory of resignation in those who were left behind until the things of this life resumed their comparative in his eyes and his disturbed mind its habitual serenity the next event was the departure of mr for whither he was followed by his family as soon as the house could be prepared for their reception r chapter reduced to toiling rejoicing onward through life he goes each morning sees some task begin each evening sees it close something attempted something done has earned a night s repose a few weeks after the departure of the for their new home doctor was seized with a malignant fever in vain the tenderest care was upon one so dearly loved a few days closed the scene and the true heart was gone for ever from the home he had made so happy all was done that friendship and sympathy could do to soothe the grief of the family by the many friends that had known and honored the dead and the good physician was laid to rest by sincere theories reduced to practice ii is it well when the cares of life break in with harsh voices on the holy stillness of a grief like this is it not well that these stern in teaching us of duties yet to be performed teach us also that there is something yet to live for and so when time had the first bitterness of her sorrow mrs resolutely set herself to consider the future prospects of her family many friends were at hand with of assistance and liad the mother and children been willing to separate they might easily have found homes where they would have been loved and cherished but they shrank from the idea of idle dependence on	41
others no less than from the thought of separation the house they lived in was their own but they had no other property the for and having been lost in the wreck of public the girls had their own thoughts on the subject but had hesitated to speak and it was a relief when their mother began to theories reduced to practice suit them on the best arrangements to make her brother dr wood who had lately moved to new york had undertaken to close dr s affairs and to collect debts so that their efforts pointed to the future alone have you thought of anything mamma i think we had best open a school my dear if you are all willing our house is well suited for a day and is in a pleasant street and i think you are fully competent that be veiy nice aunt said i love teaching and i suppose i may help with the little ones and you will have to study too little lady your education is far from complete yet even in the ordinary sense of the term i like to study too but how are we to divide our classes and our duties we must consult about that and each take what we can do best oh here is uncle wood he will help us help you how children said dr wood theories reduced to practice ii as after an affectionate greeting lie seated himself comfortably in a deep arm chair we are talking of what we are to do uncle said mother thinks we had best open school it will do i imagine if you can teach most of the branches yourselves how is that and i can teach the english bi said mrs will teach ing and music they all speak french and added if i could get some or wood to do i should like it very much mr me to devote myself entirely to wood i think it will be better for you than teaching said the doctor after a while at any rate now about the school what sort of an establishment is it to be when do you begin and have you any engaged i wish to commence on the first of next month we shall keep a day school at first whether we take any or not must depend on i think i know of il theories reduced to practice eight or ten that i could be certain of but i have spoken to no one as yet what about your i never thought about them pretty folks you are here give me a pen and ink we will soon prepare one and i will leave it at the s as i go home the circular was written discussed and and at last copied and deposited in dr wood s pocket book now miss said he let me see some of your work what have you painted last hesitated a moment and the tears rushed to her eyes but she controlled though she dared not trust her voice as she handed her last finished work to her uncle a miniature of her father the doctor looked at it long and then said it a perfect likeness lend it to me my dear it may be of use to you you know i will be careful of it there was a silence of some moments then he abruptly changed the subject theories reduced to practice i want you all to be very sorry for me what is the matter asked mrs looking up rather startled i discharged my clerk to day the fourth in five weeks what has got into the boys now a days i can t find one with head enough to put up a i must look for another to morrow will you take me uncle said quietly looking up from her work he swung his chair round a little and bent his head to see her face under the lamp what do you mean child are you in quite in earnest what do you know about it i should like to ask i don t believe you could tell from and i want some one to work with me in my among the i am not sure whether i know enough for you dear uncle but i am very fond of and have studied and a f theories reduced to practice good deal at least i know enough to be certain i could learn more hem you girls were always to learn everything know latin too i suppose a little said she smiling well let me try you and then followed a long and close examination during which the doctor s face brightened as gave her clear and intelligent s till at last he turned round again and leaned his head on his hand thinking resumed her work but she was excited and her hands trembled here perhaps was an opening for her an opportunity for her to in the pursuit she best loved and which she had studied under her father s direction for years there would be no of the opinions of others in her uncle s and study she could be as secluded as in her mother s parlor and she could add at once to her mother s income besides she would be spared the necessity of teaching she had not the gift of impart theories reduced to practice ing knowledge well as her own mind was stored and she had really dreaded the task before her although she resolved if no better occupation offered to devote herself to the duties allotted to her but now the more dr wood considered the better he liked the plan of all his relations was his favorite he knew that she was energetic punctual and exact and that she possessed a clear and powerful intellect her womanly neatness was another great recommendation especially	41
to one who had been so harassed by the very ways of various boys and to crown all she would be a most congenial companion he looked also at her side of the question she must do something and he felt certain that he could make her comfortable and happy at last he spoke my dear child my only doubts are on your account can you bear the steady occupation and confinement day after day i am not afraid uncle my health is good f theories reduced to practice i like the work and think it far less than teaching while the confinement is no greater if you will only try me well dear if you do not like it i shall be no worse off than i am now there is one thing more as the fall advances the days will and it will be best for you to live at my house at any rate said he observing the change in mrs s countenance i will come home with her when i can and while the days are long she can come by herself but it would not be right for her to come so far alone in the evening let her have a room at my house good mrs will see that she is comfortable and you will not be uneasy about her in stormy weather don t decide in a hurry i will call in again to morrow evening the result of this conversation was s establishment as her uncle s assistant to the satisfaction of all parties mrs organized her school successfully and boon had the satisfaction of feeling theories reduced to practice that she and her children were able by their own industry to obtain a sufficient in september of this year and frank reached on their way home their journey had been unexpectedly so that only some of the previous autumn awaited them all later ones having been forwarded to their banker at paris how eagerly the welcome were opened and read the most trifling details acquiring strange importance in the eyes of those so long deprived of news from home and however numerous and minute always leaving something to be told or wished for received letters from every one of his family long pleasant letters various in character filled with all that had interested or amused the writers reports of lectures descriptions of pictures of books and conversations all the interests of daily active life theories reduced to practice all said frank with a sigh as he laid down his two after a third reading i wish i had a large family my letters are very precious but mother can only write a few lines at a time she is so weak and father cannot write all the time and there is so much i should like to know how happy you are would you like to read some of these said and retaining those that contained the more private information he handed a number of sheets to frank who seized eagerly and was soon too absorbed in the enjoyment of them to notice the change in s countenance as he opened one that he had not before seen it was from and was as follows i hardly know how yoa will this letter which has me so and anxiety and now that i have myself to write it how shall i express my meaning so as to spare yon pain yet your anger towards me bnt yon know all and it is easier written than told oar engagement must end there yon know the worst unless it be worse to know how how frivolous how unworthy of you i am i do not you theories reduced to practice i do not yoa bestow on me a nobler happiness than that i seek bnt it will not content me i have entered the world there i find my sphere and my enjoyment i must have wealth position gaiety these yoa cannot give me or not for a long time and then my youth will be past i almost condemn myself for the choice i thus make yet i cannot do otherwise i be happy in my own way do not reply to me i shall take your silence as the of my release and at this moment i hardly know whether that release or the fulfilment of my former promises is the most painful but i have decided we could not be happy because our aims in life are so far apart may you find one more worthy to fill your heart and home and if you can think kindly of one who will always remember you with true regard tour cousin sat motionless with this letter in his hand his early dreams and hopes swept away suddenly and for ever he was so entirely unprepared for such a blow that it fell with overwhelming force and for a time he could neither think nor reason he could only feel could he realize that he had only loved a phantom of his own imagination in the outward semblance of his cousin instead of as she was theories reduced to practice he was roused by frank s voice thank you old fellow those are famous letters but what s the matter are you ill said trying to exert himself let us go out for he felt the air of the room stifling he was not long in recovering self control for he never allowed his own troubles to interfere with his duties or the enjoyment of other people and during the journey to paris although graver and more silent than during the earlier part of their travels his young companion never appealed to him in vain for information or sympathy frank was a very pleasant travelling companion good tempered and ready to perceive and enjoy the endless	41
trifles that contribute to the pleasure of travelling his mind and taste were cultivated his fancy active and though he lacked the depth and resolution that marked s character he possessed a power of himself to circumstances which often answered as well as conquering them theories reduced to practice when they reached paris they found mr and mrs awaiting them with all arrangements made to sail for new york as soon as the young men should arrive the cause of this haste was soon explained by mr who cautiously and kindly revealed the sad tidings brought by his own letters before he produced those for these letters were of dates and had arrived at intervals since the previous fall the earlier ones told of his uncle s failure and of the removal of the to later ones of his father s death and its consequences how trifling seemed his own trial in view of these deep his whole family now he must act and he felt as if he could hardly endure the long sea voyage that must be made ere he could be again among the dear ones now left so lonely with womanly tact mrs consoled him her had been blessed to the of her soul and led her to the one theories reduced to practice only source of all comfort from this ce she drew for the sad heart of her young friend and with her he conversed freely of the past and future one beautiful evening on board ship they were all on deck the sun had set and the stars shed faint lines of light across the quiet water frank had as usual gathered around him all of his fellow passengers who were below the age of ten and they proved fairly that the evening stillness had no influence over them apart from the confusion they made mrs sat talking with and mr walked back and forth joining in the conversation or suggesting new to the children i begin to see my duty clearly now said i must leave the law why it seems such a pity you are so fond of your profession because the care of my family must rest upon me now my dear father has left no property except the house we live in even if theories reduced to practice that is and of this i am not certain he has left you a better joined in mr a good name the memory and example of one like him is a treasure all who knew him will deem it a privilege to aid his children to acquire an honorable independence you know that i will be most happy if i can forward you in any way i know that you have both been the best and kindest of friends to me responded the young man with glistening eyes what is the use of having friends unless you make use of us said mrs but why is it necessary for you to give up a profession i should have to study some months longer before i could be admitted and after that i am not so sanguine as to imagine that i could at once obtain business enough to enable me to respond in any degree to the claims that must or ought to be made upon i must seek some commercial employment which will give theories reduced to practice me a certain income at once with the hope of increasing it you are right said mr and he walked np and down twice or thrice ere he spoke again was silent too it was not possible that the cherished hope of years could be pain however the heart might be sustained by the sense of duty at mr said i have lost much in these wide reaching and i must resume my business the hitherto active partner moves to the west i am going back to the counting house and i should like you to be with me but for one reason what is that sir you might feel yourself so pledged to me as to refuse better from a feeling of honor i will do the best i can for you but others may do more if such be the case and you can remember that i feel with you that the interest of your mother and sisters is your first study come to me at once until you can do better theories reduced to practice did not reply except by the fervent grasp of the hand outstretched to him yet neither he nor his friends believed that any words were needed to make the engagement binding well said frank giving s hair a little pull then throwing himself down at full length and laying his head in his mother s lap what are you so quiet about to night i should imagine it would be a marvellous relief after the noise you have been making for the last hour evil communications et frank with a but the charming little are swept off to bed by inexorable fate attired in her most sombre garments and night cap and i am at leisure to hold my tongue why can t we have some music here come the rest of our band there were few passengers on board but several of them had fine voices and it had theories reduced to practice become customary for them to on deck during the warm evening and sing and soon the mellow strains rose and swelled seeming almost to be caught up and repeated by faint voices in the distance as the blended sounds rolled away on the light evening breeze so night and morning came the voyage began and ended and they who for awhile had together in that intimacy of on the waste of waters parted as friends part to meet again no more there were glad by happy to the who had come home lonely hearts sought	41
for the garden which flourished and extended under her management until the whole descent from the front of the house to the river was bright with flowers and soft grass in place of the rough growth of that had the spaces between the wide spreading trees how far mrs had secured her object of the gossip of the village may be imagined by a glimpse at a assembled in the house of a large stretched in the frame and with scarlet and green keeping up appearances was the object of the gathering but any one who had heard not seen the busy group would have declared it a solemn to examine and decide upon all questions touching the pretensions habits and circumstances past present and future of the new comers why mrs i thought you was going to have the new folks here to night it ain t my fault mrs smith i thought as we meant to have a little dance it might be for the young folks i see there was two girls in so last monday and me just went up to ask them but my talk about city folks themselves airs i never see anything to match it did you go in mrs how did the old place look you see after we got the dinner things put by we got on our and walked out there it was pretty warm you know but the outer door was shut as tight as if it was december well we knocked they ve got keeping up appearances up a new and by and by a dutch woman comes to the door instead of taking us into the sitting room she opens the parlor door i hardly the old place it looks for all the world like a show shop such curtains and little things on the and little bottles that looked like i couldn t help going up to feel of the curtains if they was really silk they must have cost a sight and while we was looking at them the door opened and in walked mrs as grand as you please in a silk gown with a lace cape over it it might have been better if she had had a sensible cap on her head instead of the fancy thing she had pinned on her back hair well she bowed mighty stiff never even shook hands or asked us to take our off but said something about not knowing our names and servant forgetting cards so says i wife mrs and this is my daughter says keeping up appearances i and we re a going to have a wednesday and a sort of a after and i d be glad to see your young folks and you too if you d like to come there ll be lots of the folks round and it be a good time to get acquainted well she just draws herself up a little than before and says she i am much indebted to mrs for her polite invitation just as if she wasn t talking to me but i regret that it will be impossible for my daughters to accept it so thinks i it s hard for the young ones to be kept up so til just try again for a little and i says ma am if you can t spare em all the afternoon can t they come to tea and if your old man s too busy to come after em i ll get some of the boys to see em home they ll like it right well too to have such pretty girls to walk home with how that could have a her i t know but she looked at me as if she d eat me i must beg you to excuse them mrs pe keeping up appearances says she just then the dutch girl brought in some cake and wine and while we took some mrs never said one word which i thought wa n t hardly civil so we come away and i guess we shan t try it again i don t like such stuck up ways now who d a thought it said mrs smith my old man see several times and he likes him first rate none of your fine city ways wife says he he s a real common man so was the old squire added mrs brown who no longer able to was knitting vigorously on a butter nut colored the old squire was as plain a man as you d wish to see butter nut cloth was good enough for him and his wife come to meeting in a factory print but i thought this boy d be spoiled by his city up boy brown he looks as old as you do now may be i wear better n he does but he was more n a boy when he went keeping up appearances away and that s thirty good year and more ago well the old folks going to suit wouldn t answer these ones at all said some one else did you ever see how they was out on sunday and one nd another gave their opinions and the appearance manners and customs of the formed the of the afternoon s conversation but the of mrs hospitality was so far resented by them all that they resolved to make no further efforts to be until mrs should seek their good will although many were the wasted on those poor girls who were supposed to be longing in vain for the pleasures of that society from which they were by their proud severe mother an extract from a letter written by to her cousin describes the only entertainment given this year by mrs and gives some insight into the feelings of the young girl keeping up appearances poor has felt the change of our home sadly and though she does not	41
without being seen fine man mrs answered trying to get a peep from behind her mistress s elbow him s got whiskers all over his face and red ribbons on his coat and t other man with him s a soldier i guess he s got gold all on his hat and coat like training day run down to the store and get me a pound of tea be back time enough to fill the kettle fashionable marriage away went on her errand which she well understood the store was next door to the tavern and the tea was the least important part of her mission was bom for a she needed no detailed instructions she knew better than to go about asking questions but turning the money for the tea in her fingers she wandered with staring eyes among the by the tavern door who were admiring and the splendid horses every word they said was carefully noted by the careless looking little who received more than one to hurry on her errand from those who little imagined that she was doing it in the best possible manner the horses were fed the gentleman took lunch and then inquiring the way to mr s drove up the road all this took time and it was nearly two hours from the time of her leaving home ere re entered mrs gate mrs s what sort of an officer is a fashionable marriage a what child what are you talking about this bit o paper ma am as i picked off the but i can t spell anything but this was an unexpected treasure mrs seized the card and read colonel baron de and then listened eagerly to the detailed report of her the soldier is only his servant ma am he said master several times and they fed the horses and had chicken for themselves and now they s gone to see mrs how long are they going to stay they over from this ma am and they s going back to night a queer seized mrs perhaps for once she had been mistaken and the were really high people after all and miss would be a per mrs s was only a dignified manner why had she not tried again to make the it would have so nice to invite a real baron to a tea party fashionable marriage how surprised mi s smith and mrs brown would have been but her regrets were all too late and she could only console herself by taking her knitting and going to drink tea with mrs brown who living out of sight of the main road would thus hear first from herself the news of the distinguished arrival the baron was a cautious man he had heard many about the loss of property mingled with contradictory reports that they had only seized the occasion of the general depression to withdraw from the threatening destruction he really admired and with equal fortune would have preferred her to any other and her appearance at with beauty and her accustomed elegance of dress revived his hopes that her father s fortune was still but ere he committed himself he determined to see unknown to her their present residence and judge for himself as he drove up to ther house he was struck fashionable marriage by the beauty of the situation the flower garden in front was neatly kept and filled with choice flowers the old porch had been altered and covered with luxuriant roses and sweet scented for s was well paid by the success that attended her labors behind the house rose a long sloping pasture field and in front the descent continued to the edge of the river which rolled clear and sparkling under broad spreading trees on the other side of the stream a varied landscape of hills and valleys forests and meadows extended for several miles till the horizon was bounded by a misty range of blue mountains never had mrs rejoiced so sincerely in her elegant reception rooms as when she saw the baron s carriage approach the door her toilet though speedy was careful in the extreme and her cordial greeting as tranquil as if she had seen him but the day before the eye of her guest could detect no change in the polished manner not a trace of care on the placid brow the fashionable marriage site wine was served in the curious glass and on massive silver as of old and the perfect arrangement of the was improved in effect by the lovely and varied views framed by the open windows the conversation flowed on easily while the skilful adventurer endeavored to obtain indirectly the information he sought did like the country would she not prefer to return to city life had mr a large estate here three hundred acres it was a the baron forgot or did not stand the relative value of land in a settled country such inquiries as these scattered through a conversation of an hour confirmed him in his conclusion that the family had lost but little and that their removal had been or caused by the failing health of mr could he see that esteemed friend and la m ue mr and had t l marriage gone on a long ride and would not return till evening would not the baron give them the pleasure of his company until the next day at least no he must return to the springs the same evening but might he engage the amiable services of madame towards mr might he dare to hope that her all powerful influence would be in his favor could he win the smiles of m never had so profound an impression been made on his heart never etc etc etc it is unnecessary to repeat the gentleman s suffice it to say that he won a consent from mrs not too speedily bestowed yet and as	41
the well balanced pair separated it would be hard to say which felt the most triumphant s sensations when her made his proposal in due form next morning were very different from what they would have been a year and a half earlier believing him to be wealthy as well as she thought the re fashionable marriage of his attentions evinced a degree of disinterested attachment that even she had not expected from him for she did not imagine that he was ignorant of her changed prospects the losses were so well known she forgot that he was not in new york when her family left it then he was so agreeable seemed so amiable and although she thought more seriously about it than she would have done formerly there was a strange mixture of grateful feeling and gratified vanity in her heart as she accepted him and a still stranger dawning of regard that might have been deepened by kindness into genuine and lasting attachment mrs was delighted such a result of her invitation she overwhelmed her dear with congratulations and insisted that all arrangements for the wedding should be left to her it must be at it would be such a brilliant to an unusually gay season she would hear of no denial and at last all parties consented affectionate letters were sent to the from fashionable marriage and with a pressing invitation from mrs for the girls to visit her at her cottage at the springs dr wood took and to for a week returning to new york the day after their cousin s marriage and on the evening of their return home they were all assembled in mrs s parlor mary and frank had joined the family party but they were now such familiar guests that their presence was no interruption to the questions and descriptions that formed the chief part of the it was really very pretty said there were six the prettiest girls there all dressed alike in white trimmed with white and blue ribbons was all in white of course over satin with real orange flowers her veil was fastened by a i never saw her look so lovely aunt seemed perfectly happy but cried as if her heart would break she did everything for but she would not l o fashionable marriage be a she said she could not command herself and would only spoil the picture and every one agreed with her how did the bridegroom look very polite and self possessed with a sort of triumphant satisfaction that some people thought very becoming but and i disliked his expression poor i she is quite in despair about the marriage she could hardly have grieved more at her sister s funeral i hope it will not be so very bad said mary i never really liked the gentleman although in our wild days we thought it was something to receive the attentions of a foreigner but he appeared to have a placid cool temper and to be extremely courteous so that a person who did not seek much in domestic life might get on very comfortably with him says she thinks him utterly and when annoyed although he is not violent he has the bitterest sneer she ever saw besides she is convinced that he believes fashionable marriage l l to be wealthy and is merely k that is true there will be little comfort for her when he finds it out why every one says he is so rich he is always talking about his estates but people begin to think that he lives by his wits that all his are en where have they gone first t out to the lakes and so to canada they will probably be in washington at the commencement of the of and during the winter will go to or new well i hope our fears are all is fond of change and would be happiest in a sort of life that we should find very wearisome some of us used to like that sort of life too said mary with a half sigh and smile but mary you would not prefer it now no she said it was endless excitement but there was always some little annoyance at any rate the enjoyment was l fashionable marriage not as genuine as i have now after a busy day there is such rest and refreshing in an evening like this friends are better than acquaintances dear now came home he said he had been finishing some letters and he had managed to stay down town until the wedding was quite talked over the past year with its various and changes had aided him to overcome his affection and he could speak and even think of his cousin calmly but there was a lingering reluctance to hear her marriage and prospects discussed which he was glad to conceal even from himself under the plea of pressing business but although he had escaped the especial reference to he encountered an animated debate on the most important of a happy marriage and of course each party called upon him for support there was great of opinion good principles being agreed to as the first there seemed to be no further common ground fashionable marriage declared for sympathy of taste for of temper mary for contrast of temper if i married any one as impetuous as i am we should quarrel past all before the year was out o mary you are not bad tempered exclaimed perhaps not what is usually so called i do not bear malice but the most violent quarrels often occur between people of quick temper generous enough on most occasions but who go on exciting themselves and each other until they cannot bear the least allusion to the subject of dispute and even sometimes learn to hate their opponent if these are often renewed k either party had spoken quietly at first all	41
merely my impressions from the music for instance i heard the from le i never heard the plot of the opera or any more of the music but this was the scene i saw in the opening strains it was a ruined chapel on which the lightning shone and the moon half obscured by driving clouds weeds and shrubs grew among the broken monuments a laurel waved above the tomb of a knight and a wild lily home pleasures hung fragrant bells over the form of a dead maiden before the altar were three persons a knight and a lady richly attired knelt with clasped hands and an aged priest extended one hand over them in while his other hand was raised as lifted suddenly in listening for some sound in the distance faintly seen in the dim light a band of armed men were towards the little chapel how you must enjoy s music that is the most suggestive of all you may think it strange but it is not so to me i require melody the harmony must be subordinate the richer the better of course but melody is to me the poetic element in music therefore i delight in the italian music it is full of glowing tints of perfume and southern air of impulsive action and deep emotion the of ireland generally convey a wild a feeling of desolate grandeur of deep regret often of hopeless home pleasures despair even their music has a wailing note here and there as if the singer was but his sorrow those of scotland speak of bold and stern determination not rash but resolute and those of they are the very of liberty soaring and full of splendid scenery lofty peaks shining in clear light with every shade of blue and rose and white sounding and ringing echoes you can see the springing the eagle s majestic flight you can hear the horn and the lingering echo fading in the distance and you feel that none but a free people could have such music but what about the german school i hardly understand why myself he answered but i do not like german music the greater part of it seems to me so heavy almost stolid it calls up solemn old smoking long pipes and drinking beer of course there are some grand and noble exceptions but home pleasures but you acknowledge your on that point yet you know it is all a matter of feeling with me i know nothing of music i do not think that necessary for its enjoyment said she to use a sort of i often think those persons know most of music who know least about it thank you said he smiling will take the benefit of your conclusion but give me still another benefit and sing for me while sang went on turning over the sketches in the and at last found some illustrations of the queen among which was a study of how beautiful said do you recognise any familiar face asked yes an expression has sometimes a very peculiar spiritual look what would call her inner countenance l o home pleasures i am glad i have succeeded it was precisely that look i was trying to catch she only has it when something touches her inmost feelings it is a sort of unconscious out looking of her soul perfectly unconscious replied i am sure she would not recognise the resemblance as the features are altered when had returned to the table after had thanked her for her music showed her the sketches did you ever see a face like that never how lovely it is you enjoy the queen said yes indeed she answered and as she studied the sketch intently the others exchanged glances and smiled for the same expression shone in s eyes and from the face of the poet s while these three were thus occupied and mi s and mrs holding a confidential and domestic talk another conversation went on by the window among the home pleasures l l ers under the still summer moonlight low eager and softly whispered replies up emphatically in frank s last words that evening my own not a little surprised was the loving when this conclusion was made known to her next morning she had always taken it for granted that her girls would marry some day but had never realized any actual probability and was little prepared to have it thus brought home to her by the youngest of her flock but there was no objection to be made they were perfectly suited and deeply attached to each other and frank s mother rejoiced in gaining such a daughter as yet among the members of the bride s family there is real sadness notwithstanding their sympathy in her hopes and happiness the first marriage among sisters who really love each other is always painful bright though the future may be the st break ia l home pleasures the daily intercourse the want of the familiar face the empty place at table or in the evening circle the silence left for the beloved voice these are ever present and it is only the that whispers but she is happy it was decided by the that their school should be given up gave lessons in music and had as many scholars as she could attend to was fully occupied in and miniature painting and permanently established with her uncle mrs s health was not so strong as in former days and her children insisted that she should the fatigue of the school pleaded for his privilege as head of the family that he should now support them and t his sisters should be released from their labors but this they would not listen to they wished that he should feel at liberty to marry if he chose and considered it no hardship to	41
aid in gaining an honorable independence and frank were now associated in business with mr and the firm home pleasures was rising rapidly to the position it had occupied two years before s marriage was delayed only until the final closing of the school it was a quiet wedding and mrs entreated that the young bride would live with her i have no daughter she said and am so lonely so when summer was gone and the autumn leaves began to fall through the misty air departed to be the light and gladness of another home great was the amazement among their more fashionable friends at frank s marriage just think of that handsome young man marrying such a common place looking little thing as that miss said mrs who thought or called every one common looking who had a shade of color in their cheeks and who had frank s property for her or both of whom were as distinguished and elegant looking as late home pleasures expensive dress and diet could make them she is good looking enough said mrs but who was she brought up for charity i believe certainly s sunny temper could not weigh for a moment against miss s aristocracy of birth and hopes of fortune i think frank has shown good taste and good judgment said lee with spirit from mary s description his bride must be perfectly we all know you will swear by anything mary says and really i wonder that your mother allows you to visit her now when she keeps a boarding house every one was ready to visit her when she was rich and gave pleasant parties retorted and she is far better worth visiting now she is a high minded noble girl who could make any position honorable a slight indescribable lifting of the eyebrows and movement of the shoulder was all home pleasures she answer mrs vouchsafed to s impetuous defence but mrs felt herself also touched for she had her intimacy with the to die out entirely since they were out of society her sneer was scarcely as covert as courtesy required as she said i envy your generous temper miss lee few are so entirely free from jealousy or could be content to be second even to a mary have you no fears for your future no indeed mrs mr smith first won my respect by the refined courtesy of his attentions to mary and his genuine appreciation of her value lee s was more than a match for her and for awhile she and mary were let alone it was true mr smith s chivalry had won his bride she was not so gifted as mary nor did she possess her powerful intellect and energy but she was not deficient in sense was amiable and warm hearted and far better suited to mr home pleasures smith as lie already was convinced than the nature that had at first his fancy he had told her honestly of his love and disappointment but his subsequent he did not speak of and when mary told her the whole story good mr smith became a very hero in the eyes of his fair through her whole life there was one person who was beginning to look upon miss with very different eyes had unconsciously adopted s view of her character and considered her a vain and rather haughty girl whose only attractions were her beauty and a sort of dashing independence of manner that enabled her to say things that no one else would dare to utter now he began to understand her truly her character subdued by the discipline of life had acquired a dignified repose not its power the constant demands made on her home pleasures thy hy her invalid mother had quickened her affections rendering her gentle considerate and watchful of the comfort of others it was a constant attraction to to examine and her tastes and opinions her original mind seized new aspects of any subject under observation his slower but more profound patient in analysis in investigation was roused into new life by the revelations as it were made by her more vivid perception and gradually he formed a sort of habit of bringing his impressions and experiences to examine them by this new light so slowly but surely a deep attachment was striking root in these two hearts once apparently so utterly beyond the sphere of mutual influence what an amusing variety is displayed in the mode of performing that common or uncommon process called falling in love while the two just mentioned were walking in in the way doctor was startled from a tranquillity gained by long home pleasures continued effort to find that his happiness was no longer in his own keeping an early and most painful experience had destroyed not his faith m woman as might have been the case with a spirit but his faith in his own future he was no he believed that he had risked all and lost all that a love lighted home could never be his and himself to the practical duties of life with all the of his vehement nature he had resolved to seek therein his only happiness this delusion had strengthened year by year till at last suddenly he saw how he was capable of feeling a truer and love than that st wild dream of passion and hope scarcely realized a sense of possible joy in store for him a vague but gladness dawned softly on the darkness of his heart s slumber he was not one who fears to put it to the touch to win or lose it all one evening he had been talking with miss home pleasures about a novel lately issued the plot of which gave him precisely the opening he desired then you believe miss that first love is not always the only love i believe said she smiling	41
that such characters as the hero and heroine of that book could love just as well half a dozen times and that there are plenty of good people in the world of the same moderate capacity but stronger natures those who can feel genuine deep love i think there is a love that can only be experienced once and that having once been felt no after affection can replace but if if a person has been deceived i can imagine a person loving and finding after all that they had loved an ideal not the being they had invested with false attributes and the possibility of such a one afterward loving rightly and truly and would such love content you home pleasures there was a tremulous eagerness in his tone that made look up surprised but her eyes fell under the burning gaze that met her oh do not answer hastily let me tell you au and then judge whether i may ever hope to win what has become dearer to me than life i have loved before most intensely loved a beautiful girl whom i knew in ray youth she had the most perfect face as far as outline and color went that i ever beheld and her large dark eyes could look full of soul there was one thing that might have in some measure me her voice carefully trained as it was remained cold even in its lowest tones there was not a heart note in it well i loved her and of course thought her perfection i was studying my profession and was considered promising and a good match she was the child of worldly people who were known to live far beyond their means she had many admirers but few home pleasures in the company she kept a girl was not easily married we agreed that after my admission i should go to the west and as soon as i was well established should return for her how i labored during those three years i they were years of incessant toil cheered alone by the prospect that hope held constantly before me we and precious as i held those letters i found myself even to my own mind a something felt to be wanting yet they were affectionate letters full of all that should have been satisfying at last the term of was over i had prepared a home for her and had a steadily increasing practice among people who liked and trusted me all was ready the day of our marriage fixed and i was writing a last letter to announce my journey to bring home my bride in that very hour i received her wedding cards she had been married a week to a man i had often heard her ridicule whom i knew home pleasures despised narrow minded ill educated in appearance he had but one recommendation he had lately fallen heir to an immense fortune i could not rather i would not believe it i hurried to the city to find it was but too true and worse that i was not the only one she had deceived with no other person had she gone so far but there was more than one who had good reason to believe that he was the favored of the heartless girl whose vanity be gratified whoever might suffer i never saw her again it seemed an overwhelming misery and it was long very long ere my ideal rose again bright und pure above the ruins of the broken idol i had so long vainly worshipped i believed that my heart was dead that no love could ever bid it throb again at the voice of any woman breathing but i have learned at last to know that it is not so i have found in you all that i had believed lost to me for ever hopes and dreams have home pleasures risen in my heart with brighter radiance than ever before i know yon are true may i dare i hope to win your love if that cannot be i shall still love you and you only to the end of my life but if ah grant me one word to decide my fate how that decision was pronounced it were needless to tell doctor wood for once did not see ready to meet him when he came home that evening and his first greeting next morning was so i must look out another assistant but you have chosen well my darling he added as he kissed her cheek god bless you both chapter xii the life of a foreign who will believe that with a smile whose blessing would like the s soothe a hour with voice as low as gentle and caressing aj e er won maiden s lip in bower w look like patient job s evil with motions graceful as a bird s in air thou art in sober truth the devil de was a man of nature fond of cool and but polished in manner with and a power of assuming the appearance of any degree of enthusiasm which he judged for the occasion he resolved to trust for awhile to his own resources before drawing any part of his wife s supposed large fortune believing she would probably receive only an allowance during her the american life etc father s life and her share of his property at his death fierce was his rage and disappointment at the discovery of the truth and the spell of his wife s beauty was too feeble to bind him to her when the more potent charm was wanting the reputation of having married an was of some service to him and even this advantage made it worth while to keep up the appearance of a good understanding he treated her with politeness in public but in private indulged himself in and harsh words although	41
he refrained from any further ill treatment poor was no less disappointed her imagination had supplied her husband with many attributes to which he could lay no claim as yet she had no suspicion of his real character but one by one her hopes deserted her the summer and fall were spent at various watering places and endeavored to conceal even from herself her growing the american ufe by entering into the busy idleness of fashionable life as if she fancied she could banish reflection and grief for ever instead of only their dreaded approaches as a bride a and a supposed she would have attracted attention but when to all these were added beauty a graceful manner and a fine and well cultivated voice the admiration she excited was almost unbounded trained all her life for display it was only natural that she should feel pride and pleasure in the homage of all around her a pleasure increased by the evident it produced on her husband he became more more desirous of pleasing her and adding to her comfort and at last revived in her mind a faint hope that all was not lost the fact was that he had suddenly conceived a project in which her co operation was necessary and for which it was no less needful that she should have no idea of the aid she was affording he had never her with regard of a foreign adventurer to his real position and she believed him to be in the receipt of a large income from his french estates but compelled to reside here for political reasons the gay and lavish life they were leading was certainly not calculated to one who had never looked below the surface her letters to her mother and sister were filled with descriptions of balls pleasure parties of a few weeks at a time here and there and at last she wrote that they were going to new here she said we expect to reside for the future of course we shall visit the north during the heat of summer but this will be our home sighed as she read to think how little could ever know of the happiness that little word might convey succeeding letters told of their establishment an old friend of my husband having lost his wife within the last few months has consented to let us occupy the apartments the american life furnished for her use i am surrounded by every luxury that wealth and taste can give the arrangements are superb i have my own attendants and all the comfort of a private house with the freedom of a hotel our meals are served in our own dining room my are thronged nightly with cheerful guests i rarely see the master of the house except when he occasionally an hour with us in the early part of the evening i have many but no friends still i do not need them i am happy i do not will not think of what of what i might have been while mrs was herself on the brilliant position thus occupied by her daughter the baron and his felt by no means so well satisfied and long and anxious were their how best to profit by their present advantages i tell you de this cannot last much longer have patience ami have patience of a foreign adventurer yes yes it is always have patience but we want something else where is this great fortune of madame s we must begin to open our rooms this very night by degrees be cautious open all your rooms have tables only in one that is all i can do and where am i to get funds for the bank i will provide those you indeed i exclaimed the other with a sarcastic laugh de silently handed over a roll of ah exclaimed seizing them eagerly where did you get this the first of madame s fortune answered de carelessly as he rose and sauntered out of the room looked after him with a fierce expression the scoundrel he muttered he would cheat me too the held a reception that evening the american life she had collected round her a fashionable society no were more popular thai hers and in consequence she numbered among her visitors many of the most dashing men about town came in to pay his respects after exchanging a few polite phrases with his hostess the usual extent of their intercourse he wandered off though the rooms his keen eye each face as he passed with a rapid marking glance some he bowed to again he spoke a few words at last he saw a young man leaning against one of the open windows whom he greeted rather more cordially ah out of your it s awfully slow here couldn t we have a game i not here answered madame does not play on our instruments if it i a well can t we make up a party in your rooms presently i think there are others here who find all this as much of a bore as i do of a foreign adventurer i i shall be honored said with an indifferent smile as soon as you will by degrees several of the gentlemen took leave and descended to s apartments and ere long this became habitual knew nothing of the arrangements of the establishment outside her own rooms and she was for many months unaware that the hour or two spent in her was but the to a night of deep play and that her beauty and were used by her husband to bring within his influence those whom he could reach in no other way month by month the golden harvest was gathered in it was a year of prosperity and de and his associate sorely the interruption caused by the trip northward to escape the of summer pleaded for visit	41
to her home her thence had almost ceased and when she did receive any they were most unsatisfactory a few hasty lines with promise of more news that never came a half reproach the american ufe for her silence or want of confidence most unjust she felt for her letters grew longer and fuller and more earnest in their as her secret regret and dissatisfaction but her husband would not consent to her visiting why she could not understand but she found it was vain to on her return to new in the fall the life of the previous winter was renewed but she felt there was a change painful yet there seemed to be no great difference some of the ladies with whom she had been most intimate had left the city perhaps that was all but their places were not supplied her husband s manner grew more moody he rarely remained more than a few minutes in her rooms on her reception nights which he insisted on her holding regularly a vague terror as of some impending fate weighed on her spirits her alike for society or for solitude her only consolation was in writing to her mother and sister but ven this seemed failing and at last all com of a foreign adventurer from them ceased entirely in vain she implored some explanation some word of sympathy they seemed to have forgotten or utterly cast her off she wrote to the to obtain some information but received no reply at last the crisis of her suffering came but in a form wholly for among her most constant visitors was a young man named victor of good family and peculiarly engaging character his parents were dead and being still a minor he was the ward and heir of an uncle by whom he had been educated and who treated him as the chief treasure of his old age supplied him with money and trusted him this confidence was not ill placed the young man had a keen sense of honor and a generous disposition and returned his uncle s love with grateful devotion victor s joyous temperament his love for music and frank bearing soon made the american life him a great favorite with she looked forward to his visits as her chief pleasure in her and he treated her as an older sister giving her his boyish confidences and asking advice on many little points of social etiquette with which he was yet during this second winter noticed a great change in his manner he became restless and absent minded often reserved and only resumed his old character in some long conversation often he would look at her with a strange piercing gaze as if he would read her inmost thoughts and if she spoke of his altered ways would turn off the inquiry with a jest often he would stay away for weeks until her would induce him to resume his visits she never dreamed that her husband had marked him for a victim that he had been induced to play and night after night had lost large sums until to break off at once he would determine to visit her no more but of a foreign adventurer once within of the of the table he seemed even to struggle for freedom one night her guests had taken leave early and absorbed in painful thoughts and vague she walked slowly up and down the now silent rooms splendid and brilliantly lighted as they were they wore the indescribable look of that always falls over rooms lately left by a merry party the open piano the harp leaning against the no to the artist hand the music lying in disordered heaps chairs drawn in groups suggestive of the friendly forms that occupied them so short a while ago books open on the table but the soft fluttering leaves are still wearisome as may have been the party and glad as the tired hostess may be of rest and quiet the place looks cheerless at the moment of the last departure so the baron ess felt a deeper shadow on her heart though perhaps from the aspect of all around her and her sad the american life took a hundred varying shapes true but in one respect her own wretchedness and desolation an hour had passed when turning as her slow steps reached the upper end of the saloon she was l by the sudden entrance of victor how could so short a time have wrought such a change he was pale and his whole appearance that of one who unspeakable anguish shocked and alarmed she hurried towards him victor my poor boy i what has happened t victor turned to her fiercely by rage shame and self reproach he did not stop to consider what was true or false but all he had heard and seen and suffered found words bitter words that like some charm revealed to her at once the fearful secrets of her splendid prison house ah cruel this is your work i am lost ruined and by you i have fled from you avoided you and you have me back again to fall the hands of those who trade of a foreign adventurer in honor and in life they now how precious you are how your voice your smile your beauty can attract such fools as i have been to their accursed haunt and well they know how to seal the ruin of all who once fall into their net victor she exclaimed in terror what do you mean are you mad or what has happened yes i am mad lost do you not really know are you alone of all in this wide city ignorant that your husband and keep a gambling house a hell and that these fair shows are but the shining gates that lead to that awful she looked at him as he	41
spoke with eyes in horror her cheeks and lips as white as ashes and as he ceased she breathed a long shuddering sigh and fell back as if dead her fall recalled victor to himself and his he raised her and sprinkled water on her forehead and kneeling by her as she revived he implored her to pardon his cruel the american life i have nothing to pardon poor victor t she replied you were scarcely conscious of what you were saying but i feel it must be true it makes all clear now tell me as plainly as you can all that has occurred she rose up calm and pale put the damp curls from her face and walking to the window let the cool night air blow into the heated room then returning she sat down opposite to him saying now tell me all her stillness him and he related the oft told sad history how first induced to look on and see high play he had become so fascinated that he could not resist trying his luck he told of small and heavy losses of the frequent endeavor to draw out of the and of the irresistible enchantment when once in the fatal saloon this evening his had made a special effort for a rich prize was in view and it would be their last opportunity victor s uncle wished him to travel in europe of a foreign adventurer to improve some parts of his education and to make the acquaintance of several of his mother s relatives among whom was a young lady to whom he had been partly in childhood a marriage greatly ed by both families on this day mr had received a large from one of his agents and this sum he gave to victor to deposit in the bank for his expenses while abroad you can have more if needful this is for your first all your preparations are now made my dear victor and you can sail next week when victor reached the bank he found it closed and as he turned away he met too late for a deposit my dear fellow yes answered victor then after a few minutes silence thinking he had responded too abruptly to his friend s he added have you any commands for france i am going next week so returned the other what now business or pleasure r the american life business and pleasure said victor smiling good have you made your to madame la not yet but i will ere i leave the city better to night said she goes up the river to morrow for a fortnight and in the meantime i want your opinion on some pistols and other fancy articles victor thought as he must make one last visit it was of small consequence when and sauntered round with until it was time to make their appearance in the lady s apartments once there it was easy to keep him occupied until the tables were filled in s rooms and victor who was at receiving only a passing bow and smile from and was unable to manage a single moment to bid her farewell was at last carried off to take a parting glass of wine to his ban some of his friends also insisted on one last game and after a half hour s play victor laid a bill on the table saying of a foreign adventurer that is my farewell stake i am played out that s gone too you exclaimed his opponent with a laugh seizing the pocket book which in his eagerness victor had dropped on the table played out with such a of bills that belongs to my uncle said victor but it is for your exclusive use said what does it matter if you use part for one pleasure or another and there added another your color has come up twice running while you have been losing time it was long before victor yielded to take just one note but one led to many and he rose from the table desperate and and all this sad story he told with the passionate eloquence of grief and despair now breaking out into bitter self reproaches now into against those who had destroyed him and walking to and fro in his feverish anguish and and through all that pale the american ufe woman sat calm and silent with clasped hands lying on her lap and white lips firmly closed as if turned to stone but for the glittering eager fire in the watchful eyes and when all was told she still sat motionless watching the unhappy boy who exhausted by the emotions of the past few hours threw himself by the window and laid his head on the sill where the air swept over him as on healing wings at last she spoke poor victor she said and victor started at the sound of her voice started as if all this while he had in his own grief forgotten hers so deeper ah forgive me he exclaimed forgive my selfishness in speaking so to you my kind friend my kind sister and he came and knelt beside her dear lady do you can you forgive me poor victor she again said sighing i have nothing to forgive i ought to have known all this before it is best i know it now of a foreign adventurer you will never seek the table again poor boy never never the experience of this night has changed me for ever but all is not over yet what is to come what is before me how shall i tell my uncle how shall i restore what i have o that it were morning that i might know my fate you will tell your uncle all victor all all how can i spare myself it is my first hope of peace and	41
then i will strive to begin a new life i will toil and win a way for myself i will pay all he could not the sentence that was on his lips her resolve was taken too so when victor was calmer she let him go after finding out the hour when he usually saw his uncle as entered her room she looked round her with a strange weary feeling as if it were years since she had left it all was so changed within her the girlish the of society the of fashion were gone for ever a real grief a bitter the american ufe etc anguish had the aching eyes and she saw the world around her in its true colors its false sinful mockery she woke her maid who had long been sleeping peacefully with a sort of reluctance as if sleep quiet sleep were a holy charm that she had no right to break during its consecrated hours as if for such she should be doomed to sleep no more she let the girl her jewels and the long soft and then dismissed her with a sense of relief from some oppression she drew a large to the window and too exhausted to think or feel sat looking out into the night the soft sounds the sweet murmuring life of the autumn night the pure air all breathed such repose and peace that she was and ere the midnight voices faded into the hush that the dawn her eyes closed and she slept chapter xiii a wreck not for me that hear aghast the solemn moaning of the past i might the sand treasures heaped on every hand i should only ah i that only is there anything so lonely see the golden which in youth went down with me i r h mb pushed away the cup and spoon he had been playing with as he read the morning paper and held out his hand to his nephew ah my dear victor glad to see you have you yes well ring the bell have these things cleared away and tell me the news but as the old man spoke he saw victor s face more distinctly and said no more until a wreck the servant had removed the breakfast tray and closed the door while victor sat looking at the paper of which he read not one single word now my son what has happened the kind anxious tone nearly overcame the youth s fortitude bu he told his story bravely neither nor himself even where excuse would have been hiding not one act of weakness or folly to what he called his most cruel and conduct to the night before in his genuine repentance his uncle perceived that he rather exaggerated his faults and easily read as had done in his conduct of the previous night only an outbreak of excessive excitement and remorse uncle said victor at last i do not yet expect your forgiveness only give me an opportunity of winning it but do not cast me from your affection let me have some position i care not how humble and laborious wherein i may prove how sincerely i repent a wreck where in time i may hope to repay the sum i have robbed you of let me hope day to regain your old loving confidence i do not say that i cannot reform without that hope for i will strive even if it be withheld but it will take from my toil all its bitterness at this moment a servant entered and gave a card to mr who had not as yet spoken one word he glanced at the card and closed his fingers on it then turning to his nephew he said victor wait here until i return and we will see what can be done the words were few perhaps cold enough but the voice spoke no the eye no condemnation and as the old man left the room he left two to banish from victor s heart the last trace of despair and while deepening his repentance to all his future gratitude and hope it was a perfect room that small library where mr found his early visitor the windows opened directly into a garden full of a wreck trees and shrubs with breaks of smooth grass between leading down to a fountain in the centre of a group of orange trees but the lady seemed to see of the fair scene before her and the clear morning light shone full on a face scarcely to be recognised as that of the brilliant beauty of the day before the gentle eyes looked larger and darker and wore a new expression of determination every shade of color was gone from lip and cheek and the graceful animation of her manner was replaced by a cold tranquillity as of one to whom life can bring neither hope nor fear after the first greeting she began abruptly mr you have seen victor this morning yes he replied and he would gladly did he know how for his almost conduct last night she raised her hand there is no apology needed it was easy to see that he hardly knew what he was say a wreck ing and he did not believe all he said at least when he came to himself and yet mr he told me truths the more severe and terrible that all the world knew except myself the fearful i was unconsciously playing oh she exclaimed bitterly was there not one friend to tell me the transient feeling was quickly subdued as the chief agent in your nephew s mr you must permit me to repair his error as far as possible to restore in one way the ill won gains of of m de these jewels are mine i entreat you to	41
apply them to repair victor s losses and i you not to suffer this fall of his to interfere with your designs respecting his journey this lesson will be a to him your forgiveness more effectual than any punishment and his removal from this dreadful place will separate him from his you do not speak ah mr you do not believe me a willing agent in all this the old man gazed upon her with the deepest a wreck compassion and as she arose from her chair and approached him in the ess of her pleading he rose also and taking her hand kindly and respectfully he said my dear lady my poor child no one could believe such things of you you are right in your opinion of victor and i thank you for your kind judgment of him i will not change my arrangements he shall go next week as we intended as for this he laid his hand on the jewel box it is impossible do not pain me by urging it i can assure you we have not even temporary inconvenience let me tell you of victor s purposes as returned home from this visit she had made with such dread she felt that a new friend was raised up for her in victor s kind uncle she determined to withdraw at once from taking any part in the of that house on which she now looked with such horror and if possible to induce her husband to let her return to the north but she had many a wreck weary hours before her ere she could even attempt to carry out her wishes she did not see her husband sometimes for days together and on this occasion he did not enter her apartments until the afternoon fixed for her next reception she sat in her usual place by the window and the sound of her husband s step called an eager brightness to her eyes though the pale cheek was as as it had been since that fatal night as de s eyes fell on her he started and approached her with a sort of interest good evening you are ill p no i am well enough thank you k well why not at your toilet our friends will be here in an hour i cannot see any one to night she hesitated a moment then raising herself she looked in his face will you send me home a wreck he looked sternly into her eyes and answered deliberately no pray when have you heard from home as you call it not for a year she sighed you have taken some time to grow for those who have so long forgotten you now i will call i can see no one to night she repeated faintly you must madame the careless command roused her and she sprang up i will not she repeated to night or ever again i know all now how you live your with how you have degraded me in the eyes of the world and knowing all i will not be any longer a party to such i enter those rooms no more as hostess and if you compel me i will declare what you are and why i am brought there and confounded at this burst of indignation he stood silent for an instant then a wreck advanced fiercely towards her with what purpose he himself hardly knew she did not give way one step but confronted him pale and resolute with her burning eyes fixed on his a thousand thoughts flashed across his mind in a moment convictions of her sincerity of her indifference to consequences fears of her revenge and uncertainty of how much she knew mingled with his rage against her and his e for vengeance it was but a moment his habitual caution prevailed and uttering an he said then these rooms are your prison till you die and left the room the door behind him when victor called two days after to bid her farewell he was told that she was very ill with brain fever and in a few weeks it was reported among her acquaintances that the fever had left her hopelessly though insane a few words of sympathy and regret and a wreck then the waves closed over lier and de rejoiced in his successful falsehood in his lingering revenge chapter xiv the fall of the leaf out of my last home dark and cold i shall pass to the city whose streets are gold from the silence that falls upon sin and pain to the j of the angels strain well shall be ended that ill begun out of the shadow into the mrs sat in the kitchen of the old house at her hands busily employed in some coarse sewing her thoughts no less busy over the web of life that lay in all its hues in the still chamber of memory the years she had spent beneath this roof were painfully dark to her heart wearing but one gleam of brightness in the thought of her s brilliant marriage and even this was clouded by her unaccountable silence and the fear that in her splendor the fall of the leaf she had grown ashamed of the narrow circumstances of her family in mrs s mind there was a strange mingling of bitterness at this supposed forgetfulness or rather neglect and of apology for what she considered was scarcely to be wondered at and she glanced round her with the thought this is indeed no place for the de yet she might have had with her for a while i counted on her aid in getting married how will that ever be shut up here as she is what can i do with her true wanted to have her visit new york but what would a marriage be in their set she	41
wake in light for ever in this quiet hope of the last rest in this glorious hope of the bright hereafter the life purchased so dearly for us in the with which the old man contemplated his departure felt the feverish impatience of her spirit they went home together through the still woods where the fallen leaves beneath their steps where the s trembling the fall of the leaf hands still clasped the few remaining of his broken where the crimson of the dropped one by o ie like the beads of a as the winds wandered moaning through the forest where the summer flowers lay dead by the and pale mists hovered like white spirits over their chill resting place where amid the stillness of the autumn death arose the clear voice of the brook telling of the of spring of rivers of life ever flowing of heaven s eternal summer ere the spring returned wrote to her cousin to os dear come if you possibly can mamma has even urged me to ask yon she does not see what is very evident to me that poor papa is fast failing he says he is well and does not and will not have a physician when there is nothing apparently the matter yon persuade dr wood to accompany you i know his kindness and his regard for us all mamma would be very glad to see him and he will tell us to hope or fear i have used a wrong word great as would be our there is no fear in such a departure as his he has to rejoice nothing to regret the fall of the leaf hu life not been a happy one i have understood this since we have been here for his health and mind have been by past anxieties he has more peace than in all the years i can remember of his previous life there is a general bat kindness manifested towards him by all the neighbors cordial almost compassionate greetings from those persons we meet in our long walks and i have often been surprised by the genuine refinement of feeling that sometimes appears in the very of our people i fear that there is something in me for after all and i cannot turn coldly from such homely and in the quaint stories that the old people relate for papa s amusement i take real pleasure besides that of seeing him entertained we have been much together this summer and have had many happy days but i fear they are drawing to a close do come and come quickly such an appeal was not to be resisted but when and dr wood reached they found mr incapable of them and but a few days elapsed ere the old man was laid at rest beneath the trees that shaded his first home and his last poor mrs for the first time in her life her energy her she had so the fall of the leaf the signs of her husband s decline that the event came upon her with overwhelming force she was utterly incapable of making any exertion or of giving any directions for the arrangement of her property and dr wood after consulting and decided to let the place to mr and to remove mrs with to mrs s it was a cold dark morning in early spring when mrs left the scene of as she considered it her humiliation the home she might have made bright the grave of him she might have made happy but for her worldly spirit yet neither relief nor interest hope nor regret animated her face cold and she endured rather than accepted the attentions of her companions no tear or smile breaking the stillness of that stony calm journey was then a serious undertaking weariness discomfort often danger she felt nothing cared for nothing the fall of the leaf and her friends could only hope that time might bring a relief that seemed by other means but an event had already taken place that completed the sad chain of consequences proceeding from her mistaken life chapter xv the last of we lingered long by that cold grave side while back to the world swept the funeral tide far from the death beach it away nor missed from its bosom a drop of spray a drop of spray and must dust it ah no if she shone amongst christ s jewels a precious stone when judgment shall open the grave s rough shell she may be a pearl but we cannot tell we cannot tell the day after and her uncle had left new york frank called at mrs s on his way down town aunt where is he asked gone frank this half hour i am very sorry i hoped to have reached here before he left there is news in this morning s paper that i think will make it necessary for some of us to go to new the last of earth what is it frank is has anything happened a it is about her husband but you will read quicker than i can tell you aunt here is the paper with a thousand wild conjectures hurrying through her mind mrs took the paper but the paragraph though not long seemed to declare a stranger mystery than she had even imagined a most extraordinary mystery has been brought to light and the whole is of so and painful a nature as to have caused the greatest excitement in our city to day two named and de have for the last three or four years kept a gambling house on street which has become somewhat noted for the high play carried on there and of late for some suspicions that there was a very ingenious and extensive system of fraud carried on by the two accomplished partners at length measures	41
was a very natural conclusion very i exclaimed considering that i have not one feeling one thought in common with the man who to use his own words to claim me as his bride is it really so are these indeed your true sentiments said in a tone of grave anxiety the thought of this marriage makes me utterly wretched nay you must long have known this during lord s absence in italy the danger seemed less imminent but his sudden return and arrival here quite me bead the cool manner in which he i must forthwith hold myself prepared to receive him as my future lord and master opened the which thrust into her hands and it without comment oh you must be prejudiced surely judging from this letter you cannot accuse him of presumption it appears to me perfectly respectful both towards yourself and lord cried folding the letter towards papa yes papa there never was such a bom into the world as philip exclaimed though a bright tear the lustre of her eye but say my darling grave continued she throwing her arm lightly round s graceful neck where is this marvellous respect to myself when lord has not to by a single word or line his approaching arrival at the to me who certainly am most concerned in it unjust i exclaimed kissing the glowing cheek of her friend and taking the letter from the table she read in conclusion dear lord you will be good enough to present my most respectful regards and homage to miss and express my deep regret that she has not considered my two last letters from worthy of the honor of a reply nay stop i exclaimed now fairly melting into tears it is this calm superiority of manner which cuts me to the quick what right has lord to administer this covert rebuke in a letter to papa he evidently and considers me a child and treats me accordingly no dearest though i have never seen lord i am sure he must and does render homage to a mind and character such as yours but why did you suffer this foolish misunderstanding to arise by not answering his s letters because i will not submit to be unhappily i chanced to mention my long ride alone with colonel to the ruins at this meeting as you know was purely accidental and as the colonel was riding the same way as myself i certainly could not with any regard to politeness dismiss him from my side well the his chose to write on the of miss making herself so notorious and that such conduct would be perfectly wh n she attained the sublime dignity of lady was perhaps there was a great deal more besides which i forget but i did not choose to submit to such but will you not remonstrance from the man with whom you are to spend future life and submit to be treated like a reasonable being lord is a great deal too good for me i these of propriety give me instead poor human nature with all its i would that lady whose virtue he is always quoting had been elected for the exalted honor of wearing his and over the surpassing glories of park i cried passionately lady i lord s ward is she not asked yes she is an and lives at court somewhere near her father lord died about a year and a half ago and mad the son of his old friend the late lord his daughter s guardian i wonder what kind of personage this lady is do not trouble yourself you will not long bo in the dark after his s arrival the earl brought lady over from italy and established her at court and indeed i should be ungrateful not to acknowledge my full obligations to whose sudden summons i verily believe prevented the of our marriage six months ago hush hush it is positively wrong to in this strain it is a very long time since you saw lord so dearest you may have formed an estimate of his character how long is it two years nay then it is quite possible you may be mistaken at our age two years make a vast change in opinions and sentiments shook her head you know i was quite a child when first to philip and had no more choice or interest in the matter than yourself save perhaps a childish feeling of on being told i was wife elect to the very handsome young man whom i heard every one around mo and who i gazed upon myself with sentiments somewhat akin to awe his then went abroad for some years during the which we duly and returned to england about two years ago with lord and his daughter and when he visited the whether he found the contrast too glaring between the virtues of the lady and the faults of his certain it is never were couple more like than ourselves we did not actually quarrel but move speak laugh as i would always that calm dark eye rested upon me often i know my conduct must have appeared giddy and but i was very young and he ought to have made allowance besides i never was born to perform the of a stiff dame in and decorum i well the of the whole matter was that lord after remaining our guest for two months was suddenly called away to the continent on business which he took care to state required a very brief term to nevertheless from the of the at he wrote to papa his permission to delay our marriage for another year and we will see but if it were all along your serious intention to fulfil the engagement contracted for you how very strange not to employ this period and the advantage you possessed of	41
s intended arrival here dear mamma when she chose the for my hair little dreamed she was selecting the favorite flower cried tossing her head as she stooped and picked from the floor a bud which dropped from the wreath during s i you be careful what you do depend upon it colonel s purpose is merely to you into an empty how unfortunate if so happens he should have been invited to the the very day of lord s arrival if my conduct so his s he had better set me free at once which certainly would be his wisest plan by the bye did you observe when reading the earl s letter that sir him here on a visit to papa yes i was going to ask about him is sir a friend of yours no not exactly a friend a slight acquaintance only but i you will be smitten with the he is young handsome rich and does not consider himself quite such a and model as my noble sir apparently is all lively animation i suspect few possess a faculty for reading motives and character than he does he is a most intimate friend of lord s they travelled together a good deal on the continent and this you know dearest is a sufficient of kindly ah how i he would fall in love with you what a vision i replied laughing who would ever dream of sir falling in love with the daughter of the poor of not so impossible rejoined gazing on s clear intellectual face and finely figure sir come down here for a few minutes dear child has just brought in some magnificent plants and i want you to give directions how you will have them placed in the exclaimed the soft voice of lady from below in a moment mamma cried miss rising and opening the door come i am sure your advice will be needed i shall have no heart in arranging these for lord to gaze upon for shame i come you excuse me i papa to be at home by half past three i have something to do for him this afternoon well remember we dine at seven whispered emphatically as they embraced at the door of the saloon i you to consider that perhaps the entire of your future life depends on the events of this evening if you intend to fulfil this engagement greet lord as one whose affection and good opinion you prize fear not i will your counsel said miss bounding away paused a moment then crossed the hall and passing through a glass door at its end proceeded along a path through the garden and leading to the village she walked on slowly for there had been much in her brief interview with miss to arouse meditation both intense and painful she trembled for her friend s happiness she felt that was on the verge of keen and it might be severe trial for with all her many admirable and engaging qualities dreaded the of her character indulged and by her parents and friends had as yet seen everything and everybody save her bend to her caprice and all obstacles to her will vanish beneath the sunny influence of her smile impatient of censure or the slightest control her spirit pure bright and joyous at will and tasted of all the varied delights and gifts with which she was surrounded but unfortunately for her future peace this was not the only defect which a character otherwise noble and she lacked also and of disposition with the purest and most righteous intentions miss even when con of the justice and necessity of any defined course of action especially if it wounded her self love or in the smallest degree on her self complacency suffered this of to her better judgment as yet her life had been so as to afford little room for its full development but her chosen friend and companion early detected and grieved over many trifling indications of this grave failing justly that as years rolled on and was called to lay aside her butterfly existence and act it might prove a source of much bitter early taught by the universal applause which everywhere greeted her to believe her beauty and wit irresistible and that she was bom to carry the world by storm found with of intense and resentment that of all her friends her husband lord appeared least sensible of and penetrated with her numerous attractions long she resisted the conviction that he actually presumed to hold up the lady as a model in many things worthy of imitation but the earl s sentences admitted of no then the task of self examination and already at his former refusal of her hand with characteristic attributed the earl s to lady s yet as far as her real knowledge went this suspicion was reared on very slight foundation that they had travelled together in and that the earl spent much of his time in with lord and lady s devotion to her invalid father formed in reality the sole basis of her secret had formed her own estimate of the devotion and deference due to her from her and she felt that the reality fell so far short of her expectation her self love was wounded and her awe of him increased she had yet to learn that perfect mutual confidence must be the bond of the entire devotion she expected without any definite design of making a corresponding return her letters consequently grew colder and fewer and those she received from the earl in return were with keen jealous scrutiny lord since the period of his father s held a high post abroad for which his great talents eminently qualified him thus by his presence had in the sunshine of her home prosperity as far as possible from her mind the thought that her	41
faith and were pledged to another lord and lady however keenly felt the indifference their daughter evinced towards the man to whom their own personal and peculiar circumstances had bound her but really proud of her alliance with one so distinguished and sought after as lord they themselves in the hope that on a more intimate acquaintance with the earl her and awe would vanish while her exquisite loveliness of person and cultivated mind they doubted not must finally and his affection this reasonable hope might have been realized but for one circumstance while at the contents of a letter from the earl not quite so as she could desire and containing more reminiscences past and present of the lady than she deemed needful met colonel the officer in command of the newly arrived regiment stationed in the adjoining town of at a grand ball given to the majority of a their near neighbor fascinated at once by his homage and evident admiration of her beauty and wit and amused by the ease and brilliancy of his conversation and his talent for which kept her own constantly on the qui abandoned herself without a thought of the consequences to the daily increasing pleasure she found in his society betrayed by her craving for applause and the entire appreciation of her numerous attractions which every act of colonel s soon seemed to day after day her smiles greeted him at the while unhappily lady s better judgment by her daughter s self will offered no obstacle to these frequent vainly remonstrated for invariably set aside her scruples nor indeed had she even suspected until her late interview the sway colonel s flattery had achieved over her friend s fancy for still indignantly rejected the notion that s heart d challenge fellowship with that of a man so shallow and of such worth absorbed in these reflections and wondering how s romance would wandered on the walk she had been pursuing was that by which the family at the reached the village church and the gate at the end of the opened into the churchyard mr inhabited a very pretty rural house looking down on the church with a sloping garden separated from the churchyard by a deep sunk fence the taste and industry of mrs had converted her dwelling into a bower of sweets and of bright blossoms clustered round the windows and porch with vigorous shoots h of ivy which at this early season of the year put its leaves of most brilliant en as entered the garden mrs who was sitting in the close to the dining room window which opened on the lawn laid down her work and advanced to meet her at once perceived by the pleased important expression of her face that her mother was in one of the most moods and wondering what fresh news she had heard hastened forwards as the declining afternoon sun warned her she had not much time to devote to her father s service before the important process of ing for the dinner party commenced n so i understand lord brings his friend sir down with him to day exclaimed mrs when her daughter came within hail yes mamma both sir and the earl arrive this afternoon replied i accidentally met mrs the housekeeper two or three hours ago and stayed to have a chat with her in mill lane she was returning from farmer s and had been to desire him to send four chickens daily up to the until further orders i heard all the news and of course you know there is to be a large party there to night mrs and her niece the mr and of all men in the world colonel i it does surprise me a man with lord s nice sense of honor and propriety should the foolish which has been going on these last six months between the colonel and his daughter and still more that the former should be invited to meet lord said mrs running on with her usual you forget mamma that all these guests were invited before lord knew of the earl s arrival possibly but then he should devise any excuse rather than compel his daughter s husband to associate with a man whose conduct has rendered her notorious all over the county my dear you really ought to give a hint upon the subject even that busy miss intimated to me this morning tbat it was throughout the village miss would have been as well pleased had his prolonged his continental tour oh who would listen to an old gossip like miss i am sure meant nothing towards her future cried a fine spirited boy firing up when he heard his mother s censure on the conduct of his is a fine handsome fellow and deserves a pretty wife but are you not going to the this evening yes lady was good enough to ask me and as i knew of no particular objection i promised at s request to go of course you did perfectly right said mrs with a well pleased expression of countenance i should have wondered much had you not been asked mrs said she supposed you would i am very glad to go dear i i feel extremely anxious to see the man to whom it appears her destiny is soon united but i do so regret that colonel is to be at the to night t is indeed a very commencement of the earl s visit said anxiously if the colonel could but divine your uneasiness and would tumble off his horse break his neck or in fact do just anything to prevent him taking his seat at the table i should pronounce him a capital fellow but my dear darling little you may spare your anxiety for t is quite clear to me his dignified may save himself the trouble of down and setting our quiet	41
village in an uproar has already won the prize exclaimed laughing nay do not jest replied seriously convinced from all i have heard this morning that the next three months will become lady then t is a monstrous shame if she does not like the earl that s al i have to say on the subject exclaimed indignantly that colonel s intentions were never serious i have quite concluded and indeed mrs did once say she heard it was reported in the regiment that he had long been engaged to miss lord n s sister nothing can excuse his marked attention to save a knowledge of her long engagement which he pleased to suppose rendered his extravagant homage harmless i shall take care and ascertain to night whether he really knows of it and if not i will assuredly point out the deep injury his continued attention will inflict said resolutely i wish i were going with you how you will enjoy yourself dear lady is so kind i exclaimed a girl of fifteen looking up from her book over which she had been an hour or more nonsense child mind your book said mrs sharply suddenly rousing from a fit of musing in which she had indulged during the last ten i suppose sir is not married oh no mamma i sir is still a gay fascinating young rich and handsome replied carelessly the is a fine old mansion not very distant from park which i suppose explains the intimacy between sir and lord sir s mother lady was one of the kindest friends of my early days your s first after we married was the village of and when we quitted it sir had grown a fine spirited boy of twelve years old i suppose we shall frequently see him here during his visit at the though probably you will spend time with your friend there before her marriage should it ever into one smiled perhaps replied she but where is he was to have worked with me at those papers i promised to for papa this afternoon you may as well help for time away so quickly and seven is the dinner hour has gone to to consult colonel about the purchase of a horse but come along i am quite at your service said throwing aside his my dear never mind those troublesome papers this afternoon cried mrs earnestly i feel certain your father will not want them for some days hence stooping will make your head ache and your nose red i i advise you to weigh well the tremendous consequences of appearing in such a plight before two mighty like lord and sir cried laughing as he followed his sister out of the room mrs sat silently and intently her needle having at length accomplished her task closed the book and drawing forwards a low stool her work and seated herself opposite to her mother by the side of the open window and carefully from the slightest movement likely to the train of thought she knew the former loved to indulge quietly the time with her every now and then wistfully gazing on the fragrant flower beds in the garden beyond really you quite my patience where the cat has dragged your beautiful bright wool exclaimed mrs suddenly looking up and directing her young daughter s attention to the of a fine cat with her ball of which she had suffered to roll from her knee this is so like one of your careless tricks after your sister s trouble in selecting the for you i you cannot fancy that for whom you this little will prize a dirty faded cushion hither child i i see the is wrong tou always will persist in dragging the thread four times through the fetch the ball and put it in your apron pocket now give me the hook and look made no reply but after obeying her mother s directions quietly herself and applied with renewed to her work mrs also into silence and continued her wi the utmost vigor a quarter of an hour thus elapsed i wonder whether mrs has sent h me s silk dress at length said she perhaps ton can tell me i don t know mamma but i fancy when and i were walking yesterday and met mrs she for not being able to send the dress home until next week on account of having had mourning to make that is her invariable practice grumbled mrs when they have been w tending to one s orders always excuse themselves on the of having had mourning to make which could not by any be delayed i shall assuredly send a message to this evening i like people to be punctual ah i see your brother id returned from i must go and hear how he succeeded with the colonel and also hurry for it is nearly six o clock said mrs rising from her chair as her eldest son passed by the window on his way to the stable for a moment let fall her work and leaning forwards watched her mother s quick step across the garden occasionally mrs paused in her progress to pick up a leaf or or to tie up the drooping blossoms of some favorite flower accidents her quick eye instantly detected and her hand as speedily for it was one of her never to to a future hour what might easily be accomplished in the present besides which she had no idea that a walk even as one through the length and breadth of her own domain although with a definite object at its end should be or by any of that restless activity at once the business and delight of her life mrs was ed throughout the neighborhood for the notable government of her household over which in all things she ruled with sway as	41
the mild habits of mr made him on every occasion carefully from interference with her projects or from provoking the overwhelming flood of argument which she always poured out in their defence besides the well being of her household the future prospects of her children were ever subjects of mrs s contemplation the village of was situated in the veiy heart of what is emphatically termed b good neighborhood and though the held a rank which usually from means and other causes much social intercourse with the surrounding such was not their case as mr s fortune was easy if not comparatively independent of his profession besides which it was generally known he had had several times the opportunity of rising to the ranks of the clergy but his attachment to and its venerable ever f to induce him to decline any such a decision his managing wife cordially approved aft she had good grounds for feeling a tolerable degree of certainty that on the of mr it was the intention of lord the patron of the living of g to her husband his successor the powerful patronage of lady also not a little contributed to the almost universal popularity of the s pure thoughtful mind and gentle manners wrought upon lady irresistibly while the simple yet truthful tone of her conversation her tf flattery were charms never could withstand and she invariably with feelings of renew d and relief to s society after companionship most of the young ladies in the neighborhood whose pretensions were more on a level with her own from the days then when returned home from school for the holidays and with feelings and half shy half curious though always self paid her v weekly visit to the school room of lord s young their attachment had gradually grown and strengthened itself until at the period when our history begins it was cordial and familiar as that of sisters the nearest county neighbors next to lord s family were the of sir had just attained his majority and inhabited the family mansion with his mother and sister with a large fortune at his disposal sir richard plunged with youthful into the dissipated society amidst which evil chance no less than inclination led him with no hand to guide him in his choice of companions his jovial college friends and contrived to inspire him with a deeper veneration for the mysteries of the chase than for all the lore of on his majority therefore he became master of the m hunt and for six months of the year his table was crowded with sporting a society anything but improving to his young sister while he contrived to get through the remainder of the year by horse racing c at intervals also most his own neck and that of any good natured friend by occasional of as a first rate whip though mrs knew that hitherto dogs and horses were the charms and sporting the object of sir richard s life she had been enough some time previous to the commencement of our story to scheme the capture of the s hand for her daughter especially as at one period appeared the object of his unbounded admiration this design she was however at length reluctantly to forego on account of s opposition and lady s marked for without the latter s co operation she d scarcely hope to achieve the ambitious project to get speedily and f possible married was the aim of her life for impetuous and ex as was mrs her mind was not so fitful and shallow as her actions would often and the troublesome consciousness would often intrude whenever she allowed herself to think that her daughter not only by her close intimacy with miss but by the society this privilege was elevated out of her natural station in life and her solicitude was painfully aroused for the reaction which might afterwards in s mind should she fail to fix herself as a permanent star in her friend s sphere in fancy mrs with a mother s anxiety realized the discontent and secret disgust which probably would arise even in a mind well poised as s when lack of that potent to consideration riches should one day banish the luxury refinement and glitter of life in which she at present so largely partook with her friend sir s visit however for the present these unpleasant many instances of his boyish partiality for were recalled and carefully pondered over and even in mrs s brief walk down the garden to judge by the unwonted animation of her countenance imagination clothed her visions in brightest hues luckily what dreamed for the moment she devoutly believed would come to pass and as her mind assumed a corresponding serenity curiously enough her endless castles in the air added not a little to the tranquillity of her household but to return from our still sat at her work when her sister arrayed for her expedition looking fresh and blooming as a rose entered the room presently mrs bell s hurried step was heard in the passage what have you got to fasten your with in front child ah i see you are ready cried she hastily opening the door your dress is very becoming continued mrs complacently where did you get these beautiful flowers from begged them somewhere during his ride this morning i suppose from old mrs for he took on his road from is gone to bring round the and to drive you to the oh here he comes cried she going to the window let sam hold the and come here a moment i want him to tell you dear what colonel hinted about miss tell your sister what the colonel said respecting the marriage exclaimed mrs as her son entered the room oh mother nothing very important he supposed only that the long delayed match would soon	41
come off thought would make a most fascinating and inquired whether was jealous then he knew of her long engagement exclaimed under all these however i could detect a deep vein of melancholy i am convinced feels keenly his altered position and i wonder who the deuce would not after being smiled upon by such a as rejoined warmly mrs c shook her head we see i i cannot imagine his arm in arm with a of a wife come unless you mean to fast to day we had better set off the earl s chariot entered the as i passed two hours ago are you well wrapped up fit to encounter the biting of exclaimed laughing as she stepped into the carriage make my kind to sir and say what pleasure it will give me to renew my acquaintance screamed mrs as the carriage whirled away chapter at a quarter past six precisely the modest of the of passed the gate as they drove through the beautiful park towards the mansion unconsciously sank into a deep fit of abstraction she felt uncomfortable her heart her and all her anxiety and painful for in full force rallied her several times on her gravity and vowed she was meditating bow to some victim to destruction under the potent of her treacherous smiled but her did not revive and her brother vainly continued his they drew up before the door of the mansion lightly sprang from the carriage and stood a moment under the porch you need not expect to see me again much before midnight exclaimed gathering up the rein look here are some of lord s guests arriving added he directing s attention to a low emerging from one of the park drives no tis lord himself and another gentleman i god bless you my dear do not let these fine people turn your little head i nodded then bounded across the hall and up the and hurried along without any one towards miss s dressing room just at the door she met this is you miss desire mc to wait here to see i can be of to you where is miss asked entering the room miss wish much to wait for you but ml came and fetch her about tree quarters of an hour since you are charming continued carefully of her numerous sit down please and let me arrange your hair a i oh my lord is so handsome so noble i very much more handsome than le colonel ought to be veiy happy well tell me at what o clock did lord arrive asked approaching s luxurious his arrive at about half past tree and was miss in the saloon no soon after you did leave was seized with a most dreadful headache looked so excessively pale and exhausted that even mil di advise her go try and sleep until it was time to the earl did stay with madame talking in de while sir went a drive with ah sir well never mind sir is miss better asked drawing on her gloves did take a of which made her better when she rise up about five she was soon dress but while i was her beautiful hair she was so sad and silent could not understand i mil di presently came and fetch her away i to her own private room but a few minutes afterwards i did see her descend to the conducted by the earl ah we french are so i nearly laughed outright at this pathetic lament but was a favored and very privileged individual you laugh but i think it is time now for you to descend lady say she would explain why miss did not wait already had divined but you were to enter the by de private door of the and would be there to greet you as she thought you would not like to make de grand alone you will do very well i ah she suddenly shutting the door she had opened for s exit i sir is just descending retreated and waited until e thought sir had had time to establish himself comfortably below she then went down and with somewhat of a nervous sensation it must be owned opened the door of the and entered this small apartment communicated by folding doors with the saloon where the of lord s guests assembled lady however according to her promise was there and when appeared was standing in earnest conversation with a very handsome young man timidly paused t ut in a minute lady came towards her my dear said she in her low soft voice i am very glad to see you has been anxiously expecting you for some time i suppose delivered our message yes i feel much obliged by your kindness in waiting for me here dear lady i trust is better yes she is in the next room talking to colonel but before we go to her i must introduce sir sir allow me to present you to miss sir bowed and immediately taking lady s a m passed into the drawing room just in the door way they met lord how are you glad to see you said he good hope mr and mrs are well but where is my friend i fancied i caught a glimpse of him as we returned from our drive looked rather embarrassed for kind hearted as was lord he had a strange faculty for always saying things at the wrong time oh thank you i am sure it would have given my brother great pleasure to have accompanied me but he only returned home from a long ride just in time to drive me here replied she ah indeed i is a fine young fellow and a great favorite of mine had you much shooting in france said lord passing i am you did not bring of your in my haste	41
this morning i forgot to request you to do so exclaimed lady pausing an instant but look at i how very perverse of her to appear so with colonel such conduct must excite the serious displeasure added to her reception of him this afternoon miss sat rather apart on a low couch but the room was too thronged with guests to make her position in any degree remarkable never had seen her look more beautiful she was on the couch and her soft cheek flushed as she raised her eyes to the face of colonel who at the time entered the room was talking to her with great earnestness of manner does she not look well this evening said lady gazing proudly on her daughter and then she added in a slight accent of annoyance how can listen to that frivolous superficial colonel when she might and ought to be conversing with lord does astonish me tis an dear lady which s good sense will speedily overcome replied ah but while by the delusion she will lose the opportunity of fixing the esteem and attachment of a man whom any woman might be proud to win but now i will introduce the earl and then leave you to make your way as you can amongst all these people said lady to lord who immediately hastened to her side eagerly raised her eyes and after an earnest gaze which brief as it was called a smile on the earl s face inwardly confessed s were not lord was tall and his manner and carriage strikingly dignified and self possessed as he approached she was struck with the calm seriousness resting on his very handsome features and involuntarily her eyes fell under the quick look which met her own secretly gave more credit for courageous daring than she had ever before for there was a haughty firmness in the expression of his s features which seemed to defy contradiction lady went through the accustomed forms of introduction and then was irresistibly by the graceful bow and fascinating smile quite an altered expression to his face though she still firmly believed him capable when occasion needed of those strict of which poor so bitterly complained miss has often mentioned miss name and always in terms of the warmest affection said lord glancing towards the spot where sat smiled said a few words in reply and as lady was summoned at this moment to receive other guests she passed on to speak to her friend oh i am so glad you are come cried rising hastily and stepping forwards to meet ner of course explained why i did not wait for you ah here come the exclaimed she suddenly as the door opened for heaven s sake sit down quickly by me or i shall become the victim of s sharp remarks stay i see mamma has just introduced sir so perhaps for the present will be blind to tbe position of ber dear friend said miss a smile curling ber beautiful lip as glanced on tbe towering figure of miss followed her and into tbe room and after a few words witb lady back on a and turning to sir happened to be seated near commenced a most series of sir at first appeared surprised but in a few s apparently at once tbe peculiar characteristics of his fair neighbor entered with spirit into ber humor miss s figure was commanding and on a large scale and some there might be found who would even have pronounced ber handsome as she sat listening with animated face to sir s lively replies her complexion was sallow a defect increased by the yellow tinge cast by the vivid dress she wore and her hair and eyes were dark the expression of ber face was too harsh and decided and there was an in her gestures and something and imperious in the tone of ber voice the very reverse of feminine which seldom on a first introduction conveyed a flattering idea of her or gentleness of temper her eyebrows were black and strongly marked her forehead low and there was altogether a decided throw oflf in her manners and language especially in tbe coolness with which she uttered and maintained tbe most outrageous that at times to her intense satisfaction drew all eyes upon her with a hasty gesture took s hand and drew her to a seat beside ber will miss allow me to wish ber good evening t said colonel as seated herself mr was over a t this afternoon did you see hia before you left home yes replied in some surprise then doubtless you know of our expedition to e and that we have nearly purchased for you the little bay mare you admired so much which miss rode last winter is to be sent to to morrow morning on a fortnight s trial i hope you will still admire her no indeed he never told me about it dear bow kind and generous i exclaimed how delightful cried we can now ride to together i was just proposing some such expedition to colonel paused her color deepened as caught tlie astonished expression of s eye she continued however with a light laugh turning to the colonel jou men have neither tact nor discretion could you not perceive by s ignorance of her brother s expedition that mr was preparing a delicate surprise for his sister to morrow morning which you have quite by your revelation upon my word i beg miss s pardon and can only marvel at her brother s fortitude had i a sister only half as fair my heroism would have and i should have told all before i had been in her presence ten minutes just what should have divined exclaimed laughing for the satisfaction of a momentary impulse you would destroy the more perfect gratification of a future hour	41
t is a defect i acknowledge but my disposition never suffers me to put restraint on present feelings for the sake of a future besides we men can never hope to equal the exquisite tact and delicacy f women in a favor we can but appreciate and as a poor acknowledgment offer devoted homage rejoined the colonel in a low voice while his eye rested on the glowing in s hair miss s cheek flushed while unconsciously retreated as far as she could towards the end of the sofa yes but i am persuaded if people would take things literally as they are without ever perpetually and seeking for hidden and motives half the which daily arise might be averted observed languidly ah but if everything were taken literally where would friendship society be you know we are constantly having the disagreeable truth impressed upon us that this is an age of irony and profession however at times the world finds me enough on some subjects for instance i refused until yesterday to give to the report that you were engaged to lord his s visit was a very one was it not very i was amazed beyond expression when i heard of the earl s arrival at the persisted the colonel fixing his eyes on her face you could not have been more astonished than myself responded miss throwing herself back on the couch is it possible who now and then caught a word was in agony she resolved however to make a desperate to put an end to it i exclaimed she suddenly i want to hear you know about the grand ball at park next month called on his road to and found mrs deep in the mysteries of colored lamps and why i never remember your curiosity so strongly excited about a ball before however yonder sits miss mrs s niece talking to sir and i dare say she will only be too happy to give you every detail after dinner replied turning again towards the colonel i have not yet wished that every felicity may attend your with lord miss may i not congratulate you resumed colonel in a deep earnest voice oh certainly i when a thing is inevitable it is best policy to take everybody s congratulations in good part and not pause to one s own feelings too closely replied looking down and a most attack on her you remember the old colonel what cannot be cured did you know a cousin of sir s is about to join your regiment s cheeks burned meditating a speedy retreat she gazed around when to her unspeakable consternation she beheld lord standing so close behind that he could scarcely fail to have heard her last observation she glanced again at her and beheld her occupied as ever with the colonel totally unconscious of the eyes so earnestly bent upon her arose and moved towards a table hoping thus to attract her attention and took up one of those small highly colored of scenery so frequently brought home by for the of their friends this executed print miss can give you but a very feeble conception of the sublime beauty of said lord crossing over to the table near which she stood was astonished she stole a glance at the earl s face the expression of his eye was severe yet a smile hung ou his lip and she at the self possession of his language and manner yes i feel that the of must be seen to be appreciated replied she scarcely knowing what she said as lord took e print from her hands the superfluous waters of the lake on the summit of flowing down the mountain from this peaks of glistening ice piled one above another some thirty or forty feet high i can scarcely describe the dazzling effect of the sun s rays or the gorgeous hues which sparkle around the towering as th y gradually and slope to the fertile valley at the base of the mountain but have you never been abroad miss never ah i suppose you have been too happy too content with home and its ties to wander in search of foreign adventure lord paused and then resumed after a brief space my tour me with more pleasing than any of my past years of travel as it was by the companionship of lord and his accomplished daughter the lady lady in painting and i understand yes her pictures are beautifully finished she studies daily from a small but choice gallery of paintings by her father at miss ei likewise possesses great talents in this delightful accomplishment does she not have you really never seen any of s exquisite drawings i will request her permission to show you her or perhaps i had better ask lady replied quickly looking round for she was growing jealous for s lord made a hasty movement had not time to ascertain whether it was one of approval or when dinner was announced and in a few seconds she found herself the spacious hall arm in arm with mr the worthy of i do not know what your opinion is miss but think our appear the reverse of enchanted with each other this evening said mr in a whisper is replied indeed i protest i never remember seeing her look more blooming than she appears to night between ourselves miss as a friend of the i regret that chattering makes one of our party hush exclaimed in a voice of entreaty as they entered the dining room bat comes it i have the honor of handing down so a said the worthy as they took their at let me see how lady has disposed of her x sir has led out my little friend continued mr in a low tone of voice meant expressly for s ear and sits next to i	41
they are well matched and may lead each other a hot chase which shall talk the longest string of nonsense during the hour they are compelled to play the agreeable sir is trying to make out from little miss whether she will eat fish or soup and yonder sits lord by the side of our graceful hostess talking with the utmost vivacity i am not sure which he most the mother or the daughter but what will you take exclaimed mr his suddenly brought to a close by a servant placing a plate of fish before him i have finished my soup whilst you have been entertaining me with your observations replied mr continued for some minutes silently to make up for lost time and having nothing to divert her attention leisurely surveyed the party her eyes rested on she was back in her chair and her air and manner haughty indifference as she replied to sir s speeches by cold her soft cheek glowed and there was a restless glitter in her eye so very opposite to her usual self possessed that was amazed s glance frequently rested on colonel and miss son who appeared resolved to realize the s good and were talking as if their very existence depended on the present moment and then it flitted again from them and on lord once their eyes met s cheek glowed more vividly still but she immediately turned her head away and made some short remark to the saw the effort this struggle for self command cost her and was right glad when after another tedious half hour at lady arose and with her lady guests retired miss however on the dining room seemed resolved not to a word with her friend but her arm through miss s proceeded towards the how delightfully cool and refreshing this place is i i do so dinner parties i exclaimed she almost stooping to the fragrance of a magnificent cape do you i it all depends upon one s neighbors replied miss slightly i hope yours this evening proved themselves agreeable asked quickly fixing her large earnest eyes on miss s face oh yes colonel always to make self agreeable but do you know i really felt for him to day for we all know how much he you does he perhaps he the as much or more possibly men of tiie present age are so did you ever hear the strange report that colonel is engaged to one of the miss i do not hesitate to repeat this now to you as of course your with him never could have been miss s brow flushed colonel could scarcely have been so long in this neighborhood of our without an engagement eveiy way so honorable to him as one with lord s sister replied she after a momentary pause rejoined miss shaking her little head we were none of us so violently smitten as to render this step absolutely necessary but what a fine noble looking man the earl of is you must me to congratulate you park is such a magnificent old place likewise aunt went over the gardens last year on her return from and she says in her opinion castle could scarcely with it ah i you will throw us all aside with your wreath of orange flowers to bind a s on your brow what a splendid is for you i very exclaimed turning away her head to hide the tears which gathered in her eyes by the bye don t you think this brilliant yellow would make lovely for the at on the night of our ball i must persuade aunt to adopt it cried miss pausing and gathering a few from the clusters of flowers like a sheet of over the foliage is lord habitually so grave and haughty in his manner i am certain i never should find courage to or contradict him in the slightest matter but you have a more daring spirit than i am possessed i want to ask you who a lady is whom his talked so much about lu dinner with lady he seemed most in her praise did you ever hear of her certainly lady is the only child of the late lord and a ward of the earl s replied hurriedly but here come and miss so we will ta ce possession of this low couch and you must tell us all about the for your aunt s ball who have received invitations in short every particular exclaimed she drawing the couch to the inner door of the so as to command a view all over the drawing room i fear you will feel a draught from that open window had i not better close it pray do not for me the evening breeze is most delicious towards us the of these fragrant exclaimed miss how beautifully makes miss s dresses added she turning to as heedless of her quietly proceeded to close the slide the of the appeared however entangled for after vainly for a few moments eagerly beckoned to miss was at her side instantly whispered she while her lip quivered if you love me talk to those girls and let them leave me in peace i and hastily closed the window and took a seat on the sofa between miss and miss in miss the latter found a very attentive to her elaborate detail of the preparations for the much talked of ball miss was one of those young ladies who would consider existence a blank and their powers at a very low ebb but for the occasional excitement of such stirring event it was nevertheless perfectly wonderful to hear miss on the color of a ribbon or the shape of a pin cushion and the of her on the interesting subject a tribute to her ingenuity if not to her powers in a word her mornings were wasted in frivolous trifles which	41
and although i fear she must often find it very lonely yet i am selfish enough to her to remain i could not endure the thought of the place being deserted or neglected indeed i do not wonder i remember child as i was when we removed from the vision of its and magnificent woods haunted me long afterwards contrasted with the very flat ugly country in which our new abode was situated i trust we shall soon see you again in our neighborhood for park is only about three miles from when lady is there we shall have most abundant material for forming a delightful society i do not think she will complain of being dull when she comes to reside amongst m for all absent people in dutiful consideration are returning to their homes the famous suit has terminated in s favor and he is coming to take immediate possession of lady and her daughters live at place do you remember the miss have a slight though veiy slight recollection of having seen them at the at one of lady s they are very near neighbors of ours and miss is an especial favorite of my mother s poor girl i fear she has not a veiy happy home i have always understood that lady has a capricious and violent temper yes and poor because she is amiable and has a most disposition bears all the burden of her s ill humor her sister is beautiful and a i have watched her closely i do not think i should be using too strong a term were i to add also you are severe sir i shall to be quite afraid of you cried holding up her fan now seriously i want to ask you a question did you ever hear it reported that miss is engaged to marry colonel now you mention it i certainly have heard such a report but i should think it utterly impossible from what i know of s character that she could so honor the personage we have met here to day there are several totally distinct families which bear the name of you think so nevertheless still persisted in her secret belief that colonel was miss s she next turned to a subject which gave her as much anxiety as the colonel s engagement you have not mentioned the does she not reside somewhere in your neighborhood yes at court a fine old mansion five miles from lady i understand has just returned from a long residence abroad of course being lord s ward she must be a friend of yours sir therefore pray include her in your sketch of s future neighbors you are curious miss i suppose because she is s ward replied sir laughing but assure you she bears most respect to her guardian for t is impossible to be intimately acquainted without fee p ing one s own inferiority in most things lady is beautiful accomplished and i have seen few women equally graceful and fascinating perhaps you know she is an orphan l died a few months ago and left her of his immense estates court as you will ere long acknowledge is just the sort of place with its dark woods quaint and windows for a being of lady s enthusiastic temperament to you have now effectually excited my interest and sir tell me what are ber pursuits does she visit a great deal the are her chief friends though i cannot fancy much between them she often visits my mother but she has never recovered the shock of lord s death and i understand at times her spirits arc so depressed as to occasion great anxiety to and indeed to all her friends but really miss you have me step by step until i am becoming quite scandalous longed to inquire a little more into lady s history and especially on her relations with the earl she sat meditating upon what she had heard until sir drew her attention to who was flitting from one young lady to another in the hope of gaining a for the piano miss having exhausted her supply of songs how beautiful miss is but how restless and excited she appears to night i exclaimed sir i perceive or rather suspect that and she do not quite understand each other yet see he is asking her to sing which she with the air of an by the bye i have discovered is a very prominent trait in miss s character am not right miss no indeed sir is hasty and i grant though never perverse rejoined warmly nay then what do you call this cried sir laughing as s clear voice sounded through the room while sir leaned beside her at the piano and turned the pages of her book i am veiy very exclaimed rising and going towards the piano at this moment mr s carriage was announced miss hastily ran through the song whilst took leave of lady who looked pale and unhappy but a promise from her that she would spend the following few days at the then took her arm and they quitted the drawing room together now not a word i i cannot bear it i i have been mad insane to night do not reproach me i but if you care a straw for me come to morrow early as early as you can exclaimed as they ascended the stairs will you come and take pity upon me and miss s lip quivered as she paused before entering her dressing room where was waiting f i will indeed replied hastily for tears now poured down miss s cheeks go down again dearest and make peace with lord oh if you do not how much sorrow this evening s may cost you i delay not an instant i cannot i shall not go down stairs	41
again to night i am too wretched and she abruptly entered the room where of course s presence prevented further argument then affectionately took leave of her and in a few minutes descended again at the carriage she found sir talking to her brother so you see miss i could not resist greeting my old friend said he as he handed her in make my best compliments to mrs i shall do myself the honor of waiting upon her to morrow you will have a lovely the park good night iv well how do you do this morning i hope the earl and sir made themselves agreeable last night exclaimed throwing his arms round his sister s neck to the infinite damage of her snowy little collar and giving her a hearty kiss as she entered the breakfast room excessively so we had a very large party and i should think a most agreeable one likewise judging from the time you staid last night why i sat up to hear how this grand affair went off until positively my eyes began to close of themselves so i thought it best to make off come tell me who s mysterious knight i wish ou would allow your sister to eat her breakfast instead of listening to your nonsense sit down my dear here is your coffee said mrs and as i am sure also she must be hungry after the fatigue of sitting up half the night here is a roll for you to begin upon and see i have you a bunch of still sparkling with dew drops oh how kind of you i but you are growing quite romantic cried laughing as she fastened the flowers in hei but it would have been more romantic had sir brought them ah i do not despair i assure you your sister found sir very agreeable last night he certainly paid her great attention and seemed quite anxious to renew his acquaintance with us oh mamma how your imagination the trifling i had with sir replied slightly blushing it was so very natural he should be interested in hearing again of so old and kind a friend as yourself yes i am sure it will give me great pleasure to see sir again and i trust you expressed as much my dear you said did you not that he spoke most of lord rejoined mrs pouring out the coffee indeed he spoke most highly and affectionately of his friend and as far as outward appearances go i never saw a finer or more intellectual face than the appearances are my dear and i can well imagine if likes and is silly enough to be entertained by the of colonel that she would feel a kind of restraint in the society of such a man as lord for my own part i always considered his manners too for so young a man but i wonder where your father and are do go out and see if they are anywhere within hail they generally take themselves off in this provoking way and then complain that the coffee is cold all right here they are mother exclaimed dropping into his chair again as mr and his son entered the room sprang forward to embrace her father well i did not expect to see you down so soon this morning had you a pleasant party last night and how did you like the earl i cannot tell you papa how fascinated i was to be sure i had not much conversation with him and perhaps i am forming a hasty judgment but there is a quiet high bred repose and dignity in his manner which were i in s place i should feel very attractive yes he certainly has all this replied mr drawing his chair to the table and what is more a highly cultivated mind also lord or i am much mistaken expects to find in the woman he a sensible intelligent companion and not a frivolous trifling doll to be by into good humor but i think with her beauty and talent would suit him admirably could she get rid of her absurd for colonel i trust she had good sense enough yesterday evening to show him that from henceforth all this partiality must forever be cast aside do not ask me a single word about s conduct last night rejoined earnestly all i trust is that lord will have the good sense never more to invite colonel at least if this marriage is to be which is very doubtful in my opinion interposed mrs it is quite marvellous how some people will persist in running counter to their good fortune s conduct in this affair appears to me deliberate insanity i here she is sought by a nobleman of fortune handsome and i suppose attached to her or he would not put up with her and all this she is ready to reject for the sake of a chattering of a colonel of i i should like much to discover what first induced lord to engage himself to her do you know my dear you must allow to have her secrets like other people and if she chooses to confide them to we should not ask her to betray what she evidently has no right to do interposed mr at any rate i never saw look more beautiful than last night i was waiting for you in the when you both passed but talking so earnestly that neither of you saw me i suppose it was about the colonel for s fair cheek glowed like the flowers in her hair all i have to say is that if the earl can long withstand the influence of her sunny smile he must be made of stone and therefore not worthy to possess her i wish she had been engaged to sir exclaimed will presently come to her observed mr	41
at present she is prejudiced and shall i let you into a profound secret a little jealous of the lady lady what could put such an idea into your head my dear indeed would have a formidable rival if lady s beauty is at all to what it was when we left for a more lovely interesting child i never met with poor thing i she lived almost the life of a in that dismal court her only companion a mrs to whom lady on her death bed committed her daughter s education lord shut himself up after his wife s death and was seen by none no not even by his steward for upwards of two years i wonder whether mrs is still alive and living at court i do not believe would condescend to be jealous of lady or of anybody else she must be too conscious of her own worth tis strange how sometimes the greatest treasures are bestowed on people who do not value them exclaimed nay i think there is a great deal of truth in papa s remark did you know that lady has an aunt married to some italian nobleman which perhaps explains her long residence abroad asked mr was about to reply but his wife he smiled and quietly allowed her to proceed to be sure lady was a daughter of the late of worth well how did you like sir asked is he not a fine agreeable fellow i found him most amusing and lively he admired dear excessively and i should think is far better suited to her than the earl rejoined sir seems to possess a gay easy kind of disposition and if pride does slumber beneath t is not the least bit apparent lord s i should say is haughty of temper were i i should be proud to have won such a man but i do not yet know sufficient of his character to s y whether i ever could love him so upon the whole i perceive you favor the earl what a little fool must be to behave so badly that s if she to marry him said so i fear only under rude discipline will our friend at length learn wisdom observed mr i think your mother said something last night about your going to stay at the when do you go added he after a short pause i promised to go to day i should have been dreadfully at this engagement last night for and myself went to look at the mare you admired so much when ridden last winter by miss and i had set my heart on your trying her this ing however writes me word his groom has met with a bad accident and consequently he cannot send her to until to morrow dear really know not how to thank you enough feel sure shall c her she is such a beautiful creature said with a bright smile well you shall exhibit your to morrow for sir s rejoined rising from the breakfast table and lounging towards the window what s all this you really going what a bore exclaimed i the people at the would disturb the quiet of our village i beg pardon mother here is a gentleman coming across the churchyard towards the house started he looks like somebody i have seen before continued gazing earnestly yes and tis no a personage than sir i must go and meet him mrs closed the book immediately but spite of her she was really too well bred to appear confused or you are looking rather pale this morning go nearer the fire my dear sir must have been very much struck with you i am sure to pay us so early a visit well h this is capital cried the mamma has already settled in her own mind that you are to be lady i trust your when you come into possession of your mansion the will grant me permission to shoot and fish as i in your woods and lakes and allow me the run of your stables stay for this latter boon i think i had better remain and be introduced to my brother in law elect hush hush exclaimed mr really your tongue will be your ruin said mrs sharply at having her secret projects so roughly disclosed but i must entreat you to reserve your for a more convenient season as it will be hardly agreeable for your sister should they be overheard by sir i would for the world began in more subdued accents as sir and made their appearance well mrs exclaimed sir advancing and warmly extending his hand i cannot express the pleasure it gives me to shake hands with you my former kind and indulgent friend i fear however you will think my boyish as closely as ever in my visit at this most hour added he quickly glancing at the breakfast table but miss last night kindly led me to hope i should not be an unwelcome visitor indeed sir this meeting gives me more pleasure than i can express it the happy days spent at replied mrs graciously sir then greeted mr was introduced to made friends with talked over the party again with and finally himself by mrs table a d iii skilful hands was soon deep in the details of wn ib t history and of that of almost every personage of her acquaintance in the county of d in the mean time remembering her promise to quietly stole out of the room and commenced the necessary preparations for her visit when these were completed having no desire for sir s escort to the she bade farewell to her father who had retired to his study and leaving a message for mrs set out alone for some time she walked briskly	41
along yet spite of her impatience to be with the beauty of the day caused her gradually to her speed it was one of those lovely may mornings when the soft fresh wind blows laden with the growing fragrance of spring and the vivid green foliage and as the bright dart and amid its transparent in the distance the of the churches in the neighboring town of cut clear against the deep sky while behind stretching in a long line on the far horizon the of the beau m hills softened and dissolved themselves in a flood of radiant golden haze every break in the thick trees the road opened tempting paths with sunshine and shadow and every now and then a hare or rabbit past brushing away the sparkling dew drops in its course as it plunged into the blue depths of the wood felt cheered the bright face of nature and the harmony which everywhere greeted her as all around glowed and under the sun cast its on her spirits and made her feel more competent to the task of encouraging nd s good resolutions again she quickened pace and in less than half an hour found herself in the miss was seated on the sofa her elbow leaning on the table her head resting on her hand she wore a loose gown and her beautiful hair was bound round her head a tray with her still untouched breakfast stood before her though it was nearly one o clock she started and hastily turned her head as the door opened saw that her cheek was very pale and wi h tears dear you have come at last i have been counting every second in anxious expectation cried she as she arose and her arms round i neck and sobbed what has happened since we parted asked earnestly alarmed at her excessive agitation have you seen lord this morning no but i have heard from him exclaimed pointing to an open letter on the sofa and her tears forth again i must have been insane yesterday evening i my poor had you but listened to my advice however this may easily be repaired let me summon lady you mistake me i never can love lord never never therefore though i may regret the mode in which i suffered my dislike to manifest itself cannot repent the impression created this dreadful engagement will be the of my existence oh parents have no right to hang such grievous burdens on their children i cannot endure to contemplate the future and i tremble at the responsibility of becoming the wife of such a man as one whose standard is so high and who me i said miss rapidly this strange fancy seems to haunt you though i am convinced it is a one and now i am able to say so from personal observation who can have such doubts into your mind is it colonel asked boldly resolved to to the very bottom of the wound has scarcely ever breathed lord s name really when the whole country has been ringing with the report of your engagement to lord yet colonel whom it most concerned never took the trouble to ascertain its truth rejoined indignantly yet tis nothing but the knowledge of this fatal which prevents him from declaring himself i am sure he loves me you think me weak foolish but you forget that the whole happiness of my life depends on the events of the next few did you not perceive s distress last night and she fixed her eyes almost on s face no i did not discover any such symptom bear with me and suffer me to tell you my real sentiments continued she as turned away my firm belief is that were you this moment free from your engagement colonel would not ask you to become his wife he could not he dare not for i am persuaded he is engaged to miss i never will i believe it from any lips but his own he could ot be so base exclaimed passionately but consider are you not guilty of the very outrage towards lord lord is devoted heart and soul to lady have you his own warrant for this assertion you torture me is it not apparent in every word he every line he writes no replied calmly not when in this very letter he gives me a week to consider and decide whether i intend to become his wife a touching proof of you must acknowledge to be prepared to resign mo so easily gazed at her with amazement as she continued with flushing cheek yes and he moreover to treat me as capricious childish when my ambition is to be loved entirely by the man i marry in short you may look as incredulous as you will i must be loved as edward loves me a mournful smile curled s lip but what if you find as assuredly you will that colonel flattered by the notice of the beautiful wealthy and miss suffered himself to be betrayed into professions which i will not say as a man of honor for that title in my opinion he has long but with a due regard to his reputation he would not have could he have guessed the unsettled state of your affections i shall say if falsehood be permitted thus to mar the fairest portions of one s life there is nothing worth living for in this world said covering her with her hands you are exhausted and excited you have not touched a morsel of breakfast do allow me to summon to bring some hot coffee and then dearest continued she with a slight laugh we will discuss what course it will be most prudent and for you to no do not ring for i cannot bear to see any	41
one at present i will eat some of this replied languidly pulling a plate towards her that story about miss i am persuaded is false hinted something of the kind yesterday how i felt that such a little insect had power to annoy me for a moment but mrs whom you cannot accuse of reports told me bo likewise ah when once a scandal is current it runs the entire neighborhood and i dare say good simple mrs heard and believes it profoundly but set your mind at rest after the week so allotted by his has expired it is my firm resolve to confirm my engagement and become in due time of said with a bitter smile oh surely surely not in your present frame of mind and with your sentiments yes for mamma s sake i shall tear from my mind every remembrance of the past and resign myself to my destiny i cannot tell you how her behavior affected me last night i could have worshipped her she came to see me after you left and though i know my conduct must have made her miserable must have struck a dagger to her heart not a reproach did she utter she kissed me as tenderly as ever though before the earl s arrival yesterday we had a long conversation together and then when i implored her to tell me whether in the event of this marriage going off papa would accept of lord s of the property should he generously urge it after trying to my question for some time she reluctantly replied in the negative adding that if my marriage did not the obligation nothing could induce papa to alter his determination then what could possess you to behave so forgive me if i speak plainly but i i you act be yourself again i summon lord immediately his opinion ought to be more to you than the applause of the whole world and seek a reconciliation exclaimed earnestly tears trembling in her soft eyes as she laid her hand on s arm no t is not for me to the his chooses to impose no these days shall be spent in myself for my future destiny a yoke not to be lightly undertaken as you will confess after you have read the earl s letter continued she with a slight nervous laugh besides from colonel s own lips will i learn the truth or falsehood of his reported engagement of what use will this inquiry be dear dear i i you peril not again your good resolutions use nay surely it will serve me as a good and most convincing moral lesson if true now read the stem of my future lord and she put the letter into s hand stay first tell me your opinion of the earl mind your real opinion my opinion will be soon told i think lord one of the most fascinating and intellectual persons i have ever seen and it seems to me he is a man to whom any woman might speedily become passionately attached yes but he must love her first and show it also there is a kind of cool indifference in his manner which to me is absolutely oh you are just the very wife to have suited him with your calm clear judgment and self possession i wish he had chosen you but read the letter dearest miss threw herself back on the sofa drew the note from its envelope its purport was as follows i after the events of yesterday it will not afford you much surprise to receive this early communication from me i write not miss however to reproach you for if your good feeling and delicacy have not already convinced you of the and pardon me if i add levity of your past conduct any argument i could use must be powerless though probably as you are well aware of my sentiments on most subjects the expression of my will be only what you anticipated t is true our inclinations are not at our command god forbid i that i should seek to yours but our duty is always clear and though i am disposed to make every allowance for thoughtless caprice i cannot submit to be with nor will i permit the woman publicly pledged to me to render herself notorious your conscience must testify by my forbearance under past and grievous provocation that i seek you not from motives of and that these sentiments are still dominant i trust i may be able to prove to you despite therefore your cold nay i was about to write insulting reception after an absence of two y i will not lightly yield the hand pledged to me take time t consider reflect and if at the conclusion of one week from the present period you tell me you could be happier with another you are free i during this time i will so far myself as to remain your father s guest should you decide on our engagement i will not conceal from you that i expect and shall require my promised wife to in all to those sentiments and opinions she has so frequently heard me express if on the contrary you decide on the of our engagement i need assure you that i will assume the whole responsibility od break the matter to lord believe me yours very faithfully well what do you say to this his yon will agree is not of his censure i acknowledge i deserve all and everything he says yet such though they doubtless seldom said her beautiful lip curling with anger it is severe i allow and evidently written under the influence of wounded feeling but a stranger totally with your principles would consider this result as the very thing you were at last night to	41
disgust lord and him to release you from your promise this from you exclaimed suppose the earl overheard as i did your conversation with colonel miss started no i will not suppose such a thing he could then never forgive me cried she shuddering how rash i must have been knowing my future fate was in his hands i oh i why did he ever go to italy now give me your advice what shall i do why i have already told you replied smiling if you intend to marry lord it would be far more amiable and gracious to his suspense at once and beg him to forget that he ever saw you to so little advantage as yesterday evening i regretted very much when i heard from you were too to receive his how did it happen i was too much overpowered with my conversation with dear mamma and when the earl arrived to tell you the truth i was indulging in a hearty good fit of crying but afterwards well afterwards mamma came for me and i had an interview of a few minutes with the earl in her dressing room and then we went down into the drawing room together replied miss but was not lord s greeting kind how curious you are i oh yes i very i believe he kissed my cheek and said something about his happiness at being with me again or a speech to that purport but i forget and what did you say i cannot bind myself to repeat correctly every word that passed i think i thanked his very properly for the compliment replied miss with affected twisting the of the cord which confined her what was all all i what would you have more she stopped and colored as she caught s eye no i will not my by this trifling i confess i did not receive lord as he had a right to expect but dear leave me awhile now for i think i had better finish my and go down to lunch and then you shall see i will myself so beautifully that the earl shall be filled with amazement at the success of his eloquence said she with a faint laugh come let me first show y ou your room among my many blessings i am sure i ought to thank god for giving me a dear kind sincere like yourself said miss as she linked her arm through s and they proceeded together down the gallery you see you are not a very great way from me but as soon as you can pray go down and cheer dear mamma exclaimed as she threw open the door of a pretty cheerful room with a snowy and curtains and of bright i will go down stairs immediately then you me to send no written reply to the earl s charming said the door again and half entering the room no far better let lord read his answer your altered you will soon come down won t you miss nodded her pretty little head and vanished v had been sitting alone with lady about half an hour when came down looking worn and languid from mental agitation and a sleepless night lady gazed anxiously in her daughter s face and her eyes followed her with a pained thou expression as made the circuit of the room and then pausing at the window looked long and steadily without she started at the sound of a step in the adjoining room and half turning round glanced uneasily at the door sir went soon after breakfast to call upon mrs camp bell and i suppose is gone oflf on some expedition witli bald and lord has accompanied your father to hastily said lady following her daughter s glance breathed a deep sigh of relief and threw herself on a stool at her mother s feet what a beautiful cushion you are working i never saw anything more glowing than these roses you must finish it for me and when i sit in my drawing room at i shall gaze at it and think of all the dear ones i have left behind at exclaimed tears springing to her eyes nay i fear the of our visits will afford you very brief intervals for such reminiscences replied lady cheerfully as we three are left to our own devices this afternoon what shall we do mamma said with a sigh putting back the canvas on s knee it is now a quarter past two o clock replied lady glancing at the i thought we would either drive out or walk whichever you felt most inclined to do a drive then the air i think will do me good let us order the carriage at three mamma please bell was accordingly rung the carriage ordered and then the three ladies somewhat sadly t down to lunch they had scarcely commenced when the sound of carriage wheels on the gravel without brought a flush to s cheeks our visitors most probably are the i have been expecting them for some days past said lady no it is the carriage i am sure exclaimed as a dashing blue and whirled past the windows i caught a glimpse of miss s pink bonnet and feathers poor she always dresses to drive about in the country as she would for the park in the height of the season but t can bring her here again you must do all the talking for me for i am not in spirits to cope with her gossip what a pity sir is not at home i miss entered and though too much dressed for a country morning call looked well for her figure was commanding and conscious of her want of taste she had the good sense to the selection of her to her maid who she took pains to inform everybody was	41

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