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find that upon the whole good and evil are pretty nearly balanced in this world and that though we may for a long while in the very lap of prosperity the time will at length come when we must off the reckoning fortune in fact is a and withal a most inexorable for though she may indulge her in long and them with her yet sooner or later she brings up her with the of an experienced and out her scores with their tears since says good old no man can retain her at his pleasure and since her flight is so deeply lamented what by new york are her but sore pro of approaching trouble and calamity there is that more moves my contempt stupidity and want of reflection of my fellow than to behold them rejoicing and indulging in security and self confidence in times of prosperity to a wise man who is blessed with the of reason those are the very moments of anxiety and apprehension well knowing that according to the system of things happiness is at best but transient hind that the higher he is by breath of fortune the lower must be his depression whereas he who is overwhelmed by calamity has the less chance of fresh as a man at the bottom of a ladder runs very little risk of breaking his neck by tumbling to the top this is the very essence of true wisdom which st in knowing when we ought to be miserable and was discovered much about the same time with that invaluable secret that every thing is vanity and of spirit in consequence of which your wise men have ever been the of e human race it as an mark of genius to be distressed without any man may be time of misfortune but it is the philosopher alone who can discover cause for grief in the very hour of prosperity by history of according to the principle i have just advanced we find that the colony of under the reign of the renowned van had flourished in such alarming and fatal serenity is now paying for its former welfare and ng the enormous debt of comfort which it contracted foes it from different quarters the city of new while yet in its infancy is kept in constant alarm and its commander william the answers tiie vulgar but expressive idea of a man in a of troubles while busily engaged his bitter the on one side we find him suddenly in another quarter and by other a colony of under the conduct of peter and to that queen of had settled themselves and erected a fort on south or within the boundaries claimed by the government of the new history is mute as to the particulars of their first landing and their real pretensions to the soil and this is the more to be lament ed as this same colony of will hereafter be found most materially to affect not only the interests of the but of the world at large in whatever manner therefore this vagabond colony of first took possession of the country it is certain that in they established a by york fort and according to the off band usage of his declared himself of all the adjacent country under the name of the province of new no sooner did this reach the ears of the than like a true spirited he immediately broke into a violent rage and calling together his council the most in the longest speech that had ever been heard in the colony since the memorable dispute of ten breeches and tough breeches having thus given vent to the first of his indignation he had resort to his favourite measure of and despatched one hot in the first year of his reign informing peter that the whole territory on the south river had lime out of mind been in possession of the dutch having been beset with and sealed their blood the latter sentence would convey an idea of war and were we not relieved by the that it merely related to a in which some half a dozen had been killed by the indians in their benevolent attempts to establish a colony and promote civilization by this it will be seen that william though a very small man delighted in big expressions and was much given to a praise worthy figure in generally cultivated by your little great men called a figure which has by y of found of infinite service among many of his class and which has helped to swell the grandeur of many a mighty self important but windy chief magistrate nor can i resist in place from how much my beloved country is indebted to this same figure of for supporting certain of her greatest characters and who by dint of big words periods and windy doctrines are kept afloat on surface of society as ignorant are up by blown the against concluded by ordering the self governor and his gang of immediately to leave the country under penalty of the high displeasure and inevitable vengeance of the government of the this strong measure however does not seem to have had a whit more effect than its which had been thundered against the the resolutely held on to the territory they had taken possession of whereupon matters for the present remained in that put up with this insolent obstinacy iq the would appear with his temperament but we find that about this time the little man had his hands full and what with one annoyance and another was kept continually on the by ic new york there is a certain description of active who by shrewd management contrive always to have a hundred irons on the every one of which must be immediately attended to who con are ever full of temporary and up the public welfare and ihe national affairs so as	48
to make nine holes where they mend one stopping and with whatever comes first to hand like the i have mentioned old clothes in broken windows of this class of was william the and had he only been blessed with powers equal to his zeal or his zeal been by a little discretion there is very little doubt but he would have made the greatest governor of his size on the renowned governor of the island of alone the great defect of s policy was that though no man could be more ready to stand forth in an hour of emergency yet he was so intent upon guarding the national pocket that he suffered the enemy to break its in other words whatever precaution for public safety he adopted he was so intent upon rendering it cheap that he invariably rendered it ineffectual all this was a remote consequence of his profound education at tiie where having acquired a of knowledge he was ever after a great of continually dipping into books without ever studying to the bottom of any sub by s so that he had the of all kinds of authors in his in some of these title page he stumbled oyer a grand political word which with customary facility he immediately into his great scheme of government to the injury and delusion of the honest province of and the eternal leading of all rulers in vain have i ov er the of the the of the jews the of the the magic of the the of the english the of the or the of the indians to discover where the little man first laid eyes on this terrible word neither the that famous volume ascribed to the par nor the pages of ihe containing the mysteries of the recorded by the learned yield any light to my inquiries nor am i in the least by my painful in the of the wandering jew though it enabled elm to make a ten days journey in twenty four hours neither can i perceive the slightest in the or sacred name of four letters the word of the hebrew a mystery sublime and and the letters of which he he having been stolen by the by to k their great name or in short in all my and from the et to the works of and mother bunch i have not discovered the least of an origin of this word nor have i any word of sufficient to it not to keep my reader in any suspense the word which had so wonderfully arrested the attention of william the and which in german characters had a particularly black and ominous aspect on being fairly translated into the english is no other than term which by constant use and frequent mention has ceased to be formidable in our eyes but which has as terrible as any in the of when pronounced in a national assembly it has an immediate effect in closing the hearts the drawing the purse strings and the breeches pockets of all philosophic nor are its effects on the eyes less wonderful it produces a of the an obscurity of the a of the and an of the an of the and a of the that the organ of vision loses its strength and and the unfortunate patient becomes or by s history of ib english blind perceiving only the amount of immediate expense without being able to look further and regard it in with the ultimate ol to be effected t bo that to quote the words of the eloquent a at his nose is of greater magnitude than an oak at hundred yards distance such are its in operations and the results are still more astonishing by its magic influence seventy shrink into into and into gun boats this m potent word which served a his in politics at once explains the whole of empty threats and paper war carried on by the and we may trace its operations in an which he fitted out in in a moment of at wrath consisting of two and thirty men under the command of as admiral of the fleet and commander in chief of the forces this formidable expedition which can only be by some of the daring of our infant navy about the bay and up the sound was intended to drive the from the of which they had recently taken possession and which was claimed as part of the province of new for it appears that at this time our infant colony was in that state so much by ambitious nations that is to say by new york the had a vast extent of territory part of which it enjoyed and the greater part of which it had continually to quarrel about was a of great and and no way dismayed at the character of the enemy who were represented as a gigantic race of men who on cakes and bacon drank and apple and were exceedingly expert at biting tar and and a variety of ther accomplishments which they had borrowed from their cousins german and the to whom they have ever borne considerable notwithstanding all these alarming representations the admiral entered the most with his fleet and arrived without disaster or opposition at the place of destination here he attacked the in a vigorous speech in low dutch which the wary had previously put in his pocket wherein he courteously commenced by calling them a pack of lazy drinking cock fighting horse racing slave driving tavern haunting sabbath breaking breeding and concluded by ordering them to the country immediately to which they most replied in plain english they d see him d d first now this was a reply for which neither nor had made vol i z by history of any calculation and finding himself totally unprepared to answer	48
so terrible a with suitable hostility he concluded his wisest course was to return home and report ess he accordingly sailed back to new where he was received with great honours and considered as a pattern for all having achieved a most enterprise at a trifling ex of treasure and without losing a single to tlie state he was called the of his country an liberally bestowed on all great men his two having done their duty were laid up or dry in a now called the basin where they quietly in the mud and to his name they erected by a magnificent monument on the top of hill which lasted three whole years when it fell to pieces and was burnt for by new york chapter v william the enriched the province by a multitude of laws and came to be the patron of and bum and how the people became exceedingly enlightened and unhappy under his instructions among the many and fragments of exalted wisdom which have floated down the stream of time from venerable antiquity and have been carefully picked up by humble but industrious who along the shores of literature we find the following sage of the anxious to preserve the ancient laws of the state from the additions and improvements of profound country members or for popularity he ordained that whoever proposed a new law should do it with a about his neck so that in case his proposition was rejected they just hung him up and there the matter ended this institution had such an effect that for more than two hundred years there was only one trifling alteration in the criminal code and the whole race of lawyers starved to for want of employment the consequence of this by history of was that the being by an overwhelming load of excellent laws and bj a standing army of and s officers lived very lovingly together and were such a happy people that they scarce make any figure throughout the whole history for it is well known that none but your unlucky nations make any noise in the world well would it have been for william the had he in the course of his universal stumbled upon this precaution of the good on the contrary he conceived that the true policy of a was to laws and thus secure the property the sons and the morals of the people by surrounding them in a manner with men traps and spring gun and even the sweet walks of private life with hedges so that a man could scarcely turn without the risk of some of these thus was he continually petty laws for every petty offence that occurred until in time they became too numerous to be remembered and remained like those of modem mere dead letters revived occasionally for the purpose of individual oppression or to ignorant petty courts consequently began to appear where the law was administered with nearly us by new to k much wisdom and as in those august the s and courts of the present day the was generally favoured as being a customer and bringing business to the shop the of the rich were winked at for fear of the feelings of their friends but it could never be laid to the charge of the that they suffered vice to under the disgraceful rags of poverty about this time may we date the first introduction of capital a goodly gallows being erected on tiie water side about where stairs are at present a little to the east of the battery hard by also was erected another of a very strange uncouth and description but on which the ingenious william not a little being a punishment entirely of his own invention it was for of not a whit inferior to that of so renowned in bible history but the marvel of the contrivance was that the instead of being suspended by the neck according to venerable custom was hoisted by the and was kept for an hour ther dangling and between heaven and earth x to the infinite entertainment and doubtless great of the multitude of respectable citizens who usually attend upon of the kind z by s of it is incredible how the little chuckled at beholding and sturdy b thus swinging by the and cutting in the air he had a thousand and to utter upon these occasions he them his his wild fowl his high his spread his his scare and finally his which ingenious though originally confined to who had taken the air in this strange manner has since grown to be a cant name to all for legal elevation this punishment moreover if we may credit the of certain grave gave the first hint for a kind of or by which our forefathers breeches and which has of late years been revived and continues to be worn at sent day such were the admirable improvements of william in criminal law nor was his civil code less a matter of and much does it grieve me that the limits of my work will not suffer me to on both with the they deserve let it suffice th n to say that in a little while the blessings of innumerable laws became apparent it was soon found necessary to have a certain class of men to and confound divers accordingly made their appearance under whose protect by i new ing cave the was soon set together by ike ears i not here be thought to any thing to the profession of the law or to its dignified members well am i aware that we have in this ancient city innumerable worthy gentlemen who have embraced that honourable not for the sordid love of filthy nor the selfish of renown but through no other motives but a fervent zeal for the correct administration of justice	48
the and stirred up the fire of and even though but the and patches the ninth parts of humanity neglected their own measures to attend to the measures of government nothing was wanting but half a dozen newspapers and patriotic to have completed this public illumination and to have the whole province in an uproar i should not forget to mention that these popular meetings were held at a noted tavern for houses of that description have always been found the most of politics with those genial streams which give strength and to we are told that tiie ancient had an admirable mode of treating any question of importance they first upon it when drunk and afterwards it when the of america who dislike having two minds upon a subject both determine and act upon it drunk by which means a world of cold and tedious speculations is with and as it is universally allowed that when a man is drunk he sees double it follows most that he sees twice as well as his sober neighbours by new yo k chapter vi of the great pipe and of the into which the was thrown f by reason of his having enlightened the as has already been made manifest was a great upon a small scale he was of an or rather a busy mind that is to say his was one of those small but brisk minds which make up by bustle and constant motion for the want of great scope and power he had when quite a been impressed with the advice of solomon go to the ant thou consider her ways and be wise in to which he had ever been of a restless ant like turn worrying hither and thither himself about little matters with an air of great importance and laying up wisdom by the morsel and often toiling and puffing at a grain of seed under the full conviction that he was moving a mountain thus we are told that once upon a time in one of his fits of mental bustle which he termed deliberation he framed an unlucky law to the universal practice of smoking this he proved by demonstration to be not merely vol i a a by history of a heavy tax on the public pocket but an incredible of time a great of idleness and of course a deadly to the prosperity and morals of the people ill fated had he lived in this enlightened and loving age and attempted to the liberty of the press he could not have struck more closely on the of the million the vi ere in as violent a turmoil as the constitutional gravity of their vi ould permit a mob of citizens had even the to before the governor s house where setting themselves resolutely down like a army before a fortress they one and all fell to smoking with a determined perseverance at seemed as though it were their to smoke him into terms the william issued out of his mansion like a spider and demanded to know the cause of this assemblage and this lawless to which these sturdy made no other reply than to back in their seats and puff away with fury whereby they raised such a cloud that the governor was fun to take refuge in the interior of his castle the governor immediately perceived the object of this unusual tumult and that it would be impossible to suppress a practice which by long indulgence had become a second nature and here i would observe partly to explain why i have so by new york often made mention of this practice in my j that it was connected with all the both public and private of our ancestors the pipe in fact was never from the mouth of the true bom it was his companion in solitude the of his hours his his his jo j his pride in a word he seemed to think and breathe through his pipe when william the himself of all these matters which he certainly did although a little too late he came to a compromise with the multitude the result was that though he continued to permit the custom of smoking yet did he the fair long pipes which were used in the days of van ease tranquillity and of and in place thereof did introduce short pipes two inches in length which he observed could be stuck in one comer of the mouth or twisted in the hat band and would not be in the way of business by this the multitude seemed somewhat appeased and dispersed to their thus ended this alarming which was long known by the name of the pipe plot and which it has been somewhat observed did end like most other plots and in mere smoke but mark oh reader the deplorable consequences that did afterwards result the smoke of these by history of little pipes continually ascending in a cloud about the nose penetrated into and the dried up all the kindly moisture of the brain and rendered the people that used them as and as their renowned little governor nay what is more from a goodly race of folk became like our dutch farmers who smoke short pipes a smoke dried race of men nor was this all for from hence may we date the rise of parties in this province certain of the more wealthy and important to the ancient fashion formed a kind of aristocracy which went by the of the pipes while the lower orders to the which they found to be more convenient in their and to leave them more liberty of action were with the name of short pipes a third party likewise sprang up from both the other headed by the descendants of the famous robert the companion of the great these entirely discarded the use of pipes and took	48
to tobacco and hence they were called it is worthy of notice that this last has since come to be invariably applied to those or parties that will sometimes spring up between two great parties as a mule is produced between a horse and an ass by new york and here i would remark the great benefit of these party distinctions by which the people at large are saved the vast trouble of thinking mankind into three classes those who think for themselves those who let others think for them and who will neither do one nor the other the second class however the great mass of society and hence is the origin of party by which is meant a large body of people some few of whom think and all the rest talk the former who are called the leaders out and discipline the latter teaching them what they must approve what they must at what they must whom they must but above all whom they must hate for no man can be a right good unless he be a determined and thorough going but when the sovereign people are thus properly broken to the harness and it is to see with what and they onward through mud and mire at the will of their drivers dragging the dirt carts of at their heels how many a patriotic ber of have i seen who would never have known how to make up his mind on any question and might have run a great risk of right by mere accident had he not had others to think for him and a file leader to vote after thus then the enlightened inhabitants of the being divided parties were aa by history of to and to oppose and hate one another more accurately and now ate great business of politics went on ihe parties in separate beer houses smoking at each with to tiie great support of the state and of the some indeed who were more zealous than the rest went further and began to one another with numerous very hard names and scandalous little words to be found in the dutch language every believing that he was serving his country when he the character or the pocket of a political adversary but however they might differ between themselves all parties agreed on one point to at and condemn every measure of government whether right or wrong for as the governor was by his station independent of their power and was not elected by their choice and as he had not decided in favour of either neither of them was interested in his success nor in the prosperity of the country while under his administration unhappy william the sage writer of tiie doomed to contend with enemies too knowing to be and to reign over a people too wise to be governed all his against his enemies were baffled and set at naught and all his measures for the public safety were at by the people by york did he propose an efficient body of troops for internal defence the mob that is to say those vagabond members of the community who hare nothing to lose immediately took the alarm that their interests were in danger that a standing army was a of on the pockets of society a rod of iron in the hands of government and that a government with a military force at its command would inevitably swell into a did he as was but too commonly the case preparation until the moment of emergency and then hastily collect a handful of the measure was at as feeble and inadequate as trifling with the public dignity and safety and as the public funds on impotent did he resort to the measure of he was laughed at by the did he back it by it was and by his own subjects which ever way he turned himself he was and distracted by of numerous and respectable meetings consisting of some half a dozen pot house of which he read and what is worse all of which he attended to the consequence was that by incessantly changing his measures he gave none of them a fair trial and by listening to the of the mob and endeavouring to do every thing he in sober truth did nothing by s history of i would not have it supposed however that he took all these and good for such an idea would do injustice to his spirit on the contrary he never received a piece of advice in the whole course of his life without first getting into a passion with the but i have ever observed that passionate little men like small boats with large sails are the easiest upset or blown out of their course and this i by governor who though in temperament as hot as an old and with a mind the territory of which was subjected to perpetual and yet never failed to be carried away by the last piece of advice that was blown into his ear lucky was it for him that his power was not upon the greasy multitude and that as yet the did not possess the important privilege of their chief magistrate they however did their best to help along public affairs their governor incessantly by him on with and and then his fiery spirit with reproaches and like sunday managing an unlucky devil of a hack so that may be said to have been kept either on a worry or a hand gallop through out the whole of his administration by n w york b chapter divers fearful accounts of border wars and the of the moss of with the rise of the great of the and the decline of the it was asserted by the wise men of ancient times who were intimately acquainted with these matters that at the gate of	48
s palace lay two huge the one filled with blessings the other with and it verily seems as if the latter had been completely and left to the unlucky province of among the many internal and external causes of irritation the incessant of the upon his were continually adding fuel to the temper of william the numerous accounts of these may still be found among the records of the times for the on the were especially careful to their vigilance and zeal by striving who should send home the most frequent and of complaints as your faithful servant is running with by history of complaints to the parlour of the petty and of the kitchen far be it from me to however that our worthy ancestors indulged in on the contrary they were daily suffering a repetition of cruel wrongs not one of which but was a sufficient reason according to the of national dignity and honour for throwing the whole universe into hostility and confusion oh ye powers into what indignation did every one of these throw the philosophic william letter after letter protest after protest pro from among a of bitter still on record i select a few of the most and leave my readers to judge if oar ancestors were not in getting into a ery passion on the occasion june some of have taken a out of the or common and shut it up out of hate or other prejudice causing it to starve for hunger in the july the english did drive the companies out of the of into daily with reproaches blows beating the people with all disgrace that they could imagine may the english of have violently cut loose a of the honoured companies that stood bound upon the common or may s the companies horses upon the companies ground were driven away by them of or and the beaten with and sticks again they sold a young belonging to the which had oa the companies land col state by new york after bad latin worse english and hideous low were exhausted in vain upon the inexorable and the twenty letters of the which excepting his champion the sturdy van composed the only standing army he had at his command were never off duty throughout the whole of his administration nor was the a whit behind his patron in fiery zeal but like a faithful champion of the public safety on the arrival of every fresh article of news he was sure to sound his trumpet from the with most disastrous notes throwing the people into violent and disturbing their rest at all times and seasons which caused him to be held in very great regard the public and him as we do for similar services i am well aware of the perils that me in this part of my while with curious hands but pious heart among the remains of former days anxious to draw the honey of wisdom i may fare somewhat like that worthy who in with the of a dead lion drew a swarm of bees about his ears thus while the many of the or yankee tribe it is ten chances to one but i offend the morbid of certain of their unreasonable descendants who may fly out and raise such a by ic history of about unlucky head of mine that i shall need the tou hide of an or an to protect me from their should such be the case i should deeply and sincerely lament not my misfortune in but the wrong headed of an generation in taking offence at any thing i say that their ancestors did use my ancestors ill is true and i am very sorry for it i would with all my heart the fact were otherwise but as i am the sacred events of history i d not one nail s breadth of the honest truth though i were sure the whole edition of my work should be bought up and burnt by the common of and in now that these gentlemen have drawn me out i will make bold to go further and observe that this is one of the grand purposes for which we impartial are sent into the to wrongs and render justice on the heads of the guilty so that though a powerful nation may wrong its neighbours with temporary yet sooner or later an historian springs up who ample on it in return thus these moss of the east little thought i ll warrant it while they were the province of and driving its unhappy governor to his wit s end that an historian should ever arise and give them their own with interest since then i am by my duty as an in the wrongs of our ancestors i shall no farther and indeed when it is that i hare all these ancient of the east in my power and at the mercy of my pen i trust that it will be admitted i conduct myself with great humanity and moderation to resume then the course of my history appearances to the eastward an now to assume a more formidable aspect than for i would have yon note that hitherto the had been chiefly by its immediate neighbours the people of particularly of which if we may judge from ancient was the strong hold of these sturdy from whence they forth on their daring terror and into the the hen and pig of our ancestors about the year the people of the east country the colonies of new and new haven gathered together into a mighty and after and for many days like a political hive of bees in t e at length themselves into a formidable under the of the united colonies of new england by this union they pledged themselves to stand by one another in all perils and and to co operate in all measures offensive and	48
on the together with the rear of the poor house and and the full front of the hospital so that it is the room in the whole house during the whole time that he stayed with us we found him a very worthy good sort of an old gentleman though a little queer in his ways he would keep in his room for days together and if any of the children cried or made a noise about his door he would out in a great passion with his hands full of papers and say something about his ideas which made my wife believe sometimes that he was not altogether indeed there was more than one reason to make her think so for his room was always covered with scraps of paper and old books the author lying about at and which he would never let any body touch for he said he had laid them all away in their proper places so that he might know where to find them though for that matter he was half his time worrying about the house in search of some book or writing which he had carefully put out of the way i never forget what a he once made because my wife cleaned out his room when his back was turned and put every thing to rights for he swore he would never be able to get his papers in order again in a upon this my wife ventured to ask him what he did with so many books and papers and he told her that he was seeking for immortality which made her think more than ever that the poor old gentleman s head was a little cracked he was a very inquisitive body and when not in his room was continually about town hearing all the news and into every thing that was going on this was particularly the case about election time when he did nothing but bustle about from to attending au ward meetings and committee account of rooms though i could never find that he took part with either side of the question on the contrary he would come home and rail at both parties with great wrath and plainly proved one day to the satisfaction of my wife and three old ladies who were drinking tea with her that the two parties were like two each at a skirt of the nation and that in the end they would tear the very coat off its back and expose its indeed he was an among the neighbours who would around him to hear him talk of an afternoon as he smoked his pipe on the bench before the door and i believe he would have brought over the whole neighbourhood to his own side of the question if they could ever have found out what it was he was very much given to argue or as he called it about the most trifling matter and to do him justice i never knew any body that was a match for him except it was a grave looking gentleman who called now and then to see him and often posed him in an argument but tliis is nothing surprising as i have since found out this stranger is the the author ix city and of course must be a man of great learning and i have my doubts if he had not some hand in the following history as our had been a long time with us and we had never received any pay my wife began to be somewhat uneasy and curious to find out who and what he was she accordingly made bold to put the question to his friend the who replied in his dry way that he was one of the which she supposed to mean some new party in politics i scorn to push a for his pay so i let day after day pass on without the old gentleman for a but my wife who always takes these matters on herself and is as i said a shrewd kind of a woman at last got out of patience and hinted that she thought it high time some people should have a sight of some people s money to which the old gentleman replied in a mighty manner that she need not make herself uneasy for that he had a treasure there pointing to his saddle bags worth her whole house put together this was the only answer we could ever get from him and as my wife account of by some of those odd ways in which women find out every thing learnt that he was of very great being related to the of and to the man of that name she did not like to treat him what is more she even offered merely by way of making things easy to let him live free if he would teach the children their letters and to try her best and get the neighbours to send their children also but the old gentleman took it in such and seemed so at being taken for a that she never dared speak on the subject again about two months ago he went out of a morning with a bundle in his hand and has never been heard of since all kinds of inquiries were made after him but in vain i wrote to his relations at but they sent for answer that he had not been there since the year before last when he had a great dispute with the man about politics and left the place in a and they had neither heard nor seen any thing of him from that time the author xi to this i must own i felt very much worried about the poor old gentleman for i thought something bad must have happened to him that he should be missing so long and never return to pay his	48
bill i therefore advertised him in the newspapers and though my melancholy advertisement was by several humane yet i have never been able to learn any thing satisfactory about him my wife now said it was high time to take care of ourselves and see if he had left any thing behind in his room that would pay us for his board and lodging we found nothing however but some old books and writings and his saddle bags which being opened in the presence of the contained only a few articles of worn out clothes and a large bundle of blotted paper on looking over this the told us he had no doubt it was the treasure which the old gentleman had spoke about as it proved to be a most excellent and faithful history of ne w york which he advised us by all means to assuring us that it would be so eagerly bought up by a public that he had no doubt account of it would be enough to pay our ten times over upon this we got a very learned who teaches our children to prepare it for the press which he accordingly has done and has moreover added to it a number of valuable notes of his own this therefore is a true statement of my reasons for having this work printed without waiting for the consent of the author and i here declare that if he ever returns though i much fear some unhappy accident has befallen him i stand ready to account with him uke a true and honest man which is all at present from the public s humble servant independent york the foregoing account of the author was to the first edition of this work shortly after its a letter was received from him by mr dated at a small dutch village on the banks of the the author whither he had travelled for the purpose of certain ancient records as this was one of those few and happy villages into which newspapers never find their way it is not a matter of surprise that mr should never have seen the numerous that were made concerning him and that he should learn of the publication of his history by mere accident he expressed much concern at its premature appearance as thereby he was prevented fi om several important and alterations as well as from by many curious hints which he had collected during his travels along the shores of the sea and his at and finding that there was no longer any immediate necessity for his return to new york he extended his journey up to the residence of his relations at on his way thither he stopped for some days at for which city he is known to have entertained a great partiality he found it however xiv account of considerably altered and was much concerned at the and improvements which the were making and the consequent decline of the good old dutch manners indeed he was informed that these were making sad in all parts of the state where they had given great trouble and vexation to the regular dutch by the introduction of gates and country it is said also that mr shook his head sorrowfully at noticing the gradual decay of the great palace but was highly indignant at finding that the ancient dutch church which stood in the middle of the street had been pulled down since his last visit the fame of mr s history having reached even to he received much flattering attention from its worthy some of whom however pointed out two or three very great errors he had fallen into particularly that of a lump of sugar over the tea tables which they assured him had been for some years past several families moreover were the xv somewhat that their ancestors had not been mentioned in his work and showed great jealousy of their neighbours who had been thus distinguished while the latter it must be confessed themselves vastly thereupon considering these in the light of letters patent of nobility their claims to which in this republican country is a matter of no uttle and vain glory it is also said that he enjoyed high favour and countenance from the governor who once asked him to dinner and was seen two or three times to shake hands with him when they met in the street which certainly was going great considering that they differed in politics indeed certain of the governor s confidential friends to whom he could venture to speak his mind freely on such matters have assured us that he privately entertained a considerable good will for our author nay he even once went so far as to declare and that openly too and at his own table just after dinner that was a very well meaning sort of an old gentleman and no xvi account of fool from all many have been led to suppose that had our author been of different politics and written for the newspapers instead of wasting his talents on histories he might have risen to some post of honour and profit to be a public or even a justice in the ten pound court beside the honours and already mentioned he was much by the of particularly by mr john cook who entertained him very at his library and reading room where they used to drink water and talk about the he found mr cook a man after his own heart of great literary and a curious of books at parting the latter in testimony of friendship made him a present of the two oldest works in his collection which were the earliest edition of the and s famous of the new by the last of which mr greatly in this his second edition the author having passed some time very agreeably at our author proceeded to where	48
accident the thread of generations the same sad misfortune which has happened to so many ancient cities will happen again and from the same sad cause to of those which now flourish on the face of the globe with most of them the time for their early history is gone by their origin their foundation together with the period of their youth are for ever buried in the rubbish of years and the same would have been the case with this fair preface portion of the earth if i had not snatched it from obscurity in the very nick of time at the moment that those matters recorded were about entering into the of oblivion if i had not dragged them out as it were by the very locks just as the monster s were closing upon them for ever and here have i as before observed carefully collected and arranged them and sc ap en en and commenced in this little work a history to serve as a foundation on which other may hereafter raise a noble swelling in process of time until s new york may be equally with s ro ne or and s england and now indulge me for a moment while i lay down my pen to some little eminence at the distance of two or three hundred years ahead and casting back a bird s eye glance over the waste of years that is to roll between discover myself little i at this moment the and pre preface of them all posted at the head of this host of literary with my book under my arm and new york on my back pressing forward like a gallant commander to honour and immortality such are the vain glorious that will now and then enter into the brain of the author that as with celestial light his chamber cheering his weary spirits and him to in his labours and i have freely given utterance to these whenever they have occurred not i trust from an unusual spirit of but merely that the reader may for once have an idea how an author thinks and feels while he is writing a kind of knowledge very rare and curious and much to desired y contents page account of the author v address to the reader book i containing ingenious and speculations concerning the tion and population of the world as con with the history of new york i description of the wo ld chap ii or creation of the world with a multitude of excellent theories by which the creation of a world is shown to be no such difficult matter as common folk would imagine chap iii how that famous was nick named and how he committed an in not having four sons with the great trouble of philosophers caused thereby and the discovery of america chap iv showing the great difficulty philosophers have had in america and how the came to be by to the great relief and satisfaction of the author chap v in which the author puts a mighty question to the by the assistance of the man in the c contents page moon which not only thousands of people from great embarrassment but likewise this book book ii the at i ng of the first settlement of the pro of chap i in which are contained divers reasons why a man should not write in a hurry also of master his discovery of a strange country and how he was rewarded by the of their high chap ii containing an account of a mighty ark which floated under the protection of st from holland to island the descent of the strange animals a great victory and a description of the ancient village of chap iii in which is set forth the true art of making a bargain together with the miraculous escape of a great metropolis in a nd the biography of certain heroes of chap iv how the heroes of to hell gate and how they were received there chap v how the heroes of returned somewhat wiser than they went and how the sage dreamed a dream and the dream that he dreamed chap vi containing an attempt at and of the of the great city of new chap vii how the city of new great under the protection of the li i hy book iii in which is recorded of van chap i of the renowned van his as likewise his unutterable wisdom in the law case of and and the great admiration of the public chap ii containing some account of the grand council of new as also divers especial good philosophical reasons why an should be fat with other particulars touching the state of the province chap ill how the town of new arose out of mud and came to be polished and polite together with a picture of the manners of our great great l chap iv further particulars of the golden age and what constituted a fine lady and gentleman in the days of walter the chap v in which the reader is into a walk which ends very differently from what it commenced chap vi faithfully describing the ingenious people of and showing moreover the true meaning of liberty of conscience and a curious device among these sturdy to keep up a harmony of intercourse and promote population chap vii how these singular turned out to be notorious how they built air castles and attempted to the in the mystery of iv chap viii how the fort was fearfully how the renowned fell into a profound doubt and how he finally book iv containing the of the reign of william the chap i	48
showing the nature of history in general containing the universal of william the and how a man may learn so much as to render himself good for nothing chap in which are recorded the sage projects of a ruler of universal genius the art of fighting by and how that the van came to be at fort chap hi containing the fearful wrath of william the and the great of the new because of the affair of fort and moreover how william the did strongly the city together with the exploits of chap iv philosophical reflections on the folly of being happy in times of prosperity sundry troubles on the southern how william the had well nigh ruined the province through a word as also the secret expedition of and his astonishing reward chap v how william the enriched the province by a multitude of laws and came to be the patron of lawyers and bum and how the people became exceedingly enlightened and unhappy under his instructions chap vi of the great pipe plot and of the contents into which william the was thrown by reason of his having enlightened the multitude b chap vii containing divers ful accounts of border wars and the of the of with the rise of the great council of the east and the decline of william the book v containing the first part of the of peter and his troubles with the council chap i in which the death of a great man is shown to be no very matter of sorrow and how peter acquired a great name from the uncommon strength of his head chap ii showing how peter the himself among the rats and on entering into office and the perilous mistake he was guilty of in his dealings with the chap iii containing divers speculations on war and showing that a treaty of peace is a great national evil chap iv how peter was greatly by his the moss and his conduct thereupon chap v how the new became great in arms and of the catastrophe of army together with peter s measures to the city and how he was the original founder of the battery chap vi how the people of the east country were contents page suddenly afflicted with a md their judicious measures for the thereof chap vii which records the rise and renown of a commander showing that a man like a may be puffed up to greatness and importance by mere wind book vi containing the second part of the reign of peter the and his gallant achievements ok the chap i in which is exhibited a warlike portrait of the great peter and how general von distinguished himself at fort chap ii showing how profound secrets are often brought to light with the proceedings of peter the when he heard of the misfortunes of general von chap iii containing peter s voyage up the and the wonders and delights of that renowned river s chap iv describing the powerful army that assembled at the city of new together with the interview between peter the and general von and peter s sentiments touching unfortunate great men g y chap v in which th author very of himself t which is to be found much interesting history about peter the and his followers chap vi showing the great advantage that the author has over his reader in time of battle together contents i a i with divers movements which that something terrible is about to happen chap vii containing the most horrible battle ever recorded in or prose with the admirable exploits of peter the chap in which the author and the reader while the battle fall into a very grave discourse after which is recorded the conduct of peter after his victory i book vii the third part of the reign of pe ter the head his troubles with british nation and the and fall ov the dutch hap i how peter relieved the sovereign people from the of taking care of the nation with sundry particulars of his conduct in time of peace i chap h how peter was much by the moss of the east and the giants of m and how a dark and horrid conspiracy was carried on in the british cabinet against the prosperity of the chap iii of peter s expedition into the east country that though an old bird he did not understand trap chap iv how the people of new were thrown into a great panic by the news of a threatened invasion and the manner in which they fortified themselves chap v showing how the grand council of the new came to be gifted with long tongues together with a great triumph of economy chap vi in which the troubles of new a ter dam appear to showing the bravery in time of peril of a people who defend themselves by resolutions chap containing a disaster of the and how peter like a second suddenly di a parliament chap viii how peter defended the city of new for several days by dint of the strength of his head containing the dignified retirement and mortal surrender of peter the chap x the author s reflections upon what has been said hi book i containing divers ingenious theories philosophic speculations concerning the creation and tion of the world as connected with the history op york chapter i desertion of the world according to the best authorities the in hich we dwell is a huge reflecting mass floating in the vast ethereal ocean of infinite space it has the form of an orange being an curiously at opposite parts for	48
great ease and little study in the course of one of his lectures the learned professor seizing a bucket of water swung it round his head at arm s length the impulse with which he threw the vessel from him being a force the of his arm as a power and the bucket which was a substitute for the earth describing a circular round about the head and of professor von which formed no bad representation of the sun all of these particulars were duly explained to the class of gaping students around him he them moreover that the same principle of which retained the water in the bucket the ocean from flying from the earth in its rapid and he further informed them that should the motion of the earth be suddenly checked it would fall into the sun through the force of a most event to this planet and one which would also obscure though it most probably would not the an unlucky one of those who seem sent into the world merely to annoy worthy men of the order desirous of the of the experiment suddenly arrested the arm of the professor just at the moment that the bucket was i of the in its which immediately descended with precision upon the philosophic head of the of youth a hollow sound and red hot attended the contact but the theory was in the manner illustrated for the unfortunate bucket perished in the conflict but the blazing countenance of professor von emerged from amidst the waters glowing than ever with unutterable indignation whereby the students were and departed considerably wiser than before it is a circumstance which greatly many a pains taking philosopher nature often refuses to second his most profound and elaborate efforts so that after having invented one of the most ingenious and natural theories imaginable she will have the to act directly in the teeth of his system and contradict his most favourite positions this i a manifest and grievance since it throws the censure of the vulgar and entirely die philosopher whereas the fault is not to be ascribed to his theory which is unquestionably correct but to the of dame nature who with the of her sex is indulging in and and seems really to take pleasure in all philosophic rules and the most learned and of her thus it happened with respect to the foregoing satisfactory of the motion of our planet it appears that the force has long since ceased to description of thb world operate while its remains in the world therefore according to the theory as it originally stood ought in strict propriety to tumble into the sun philosophers were convinced that it would do so and awaited in anxious impatience the fulfilment of their but the planet continued her course notwithstanding that she had reason philosophy and a whole university of learned professors opposed to her conduct the philosophers took this in very ill part and it is thought they would never have the slight mid which they conceived put upon them by the world had not a good natured professor kindly as a between the parties and effected a reconciliation finding the world would not accommodate itself to the theory he wisely determined to accommodate the theory to the world he therefore informed his brother philosophers that the circular motion of the earth round the sun was no sooner by the conflicting impulses above described than it became a regular revolution independent of the causes which gave it origin his learned brethren readily joined in the opinion being heartily glad of any explanation that would decently them from their embarrassment and ever since that memorable era the world has been left to take her own course and to re around the sun in such as she thinks proper creation of the chapter ii o or creation of the world a multitude of excellent theories by the creation of a is shown to be no such difficult matter as imagine having thus briefly introduced my reader to the world and given him some idea of its form and situation he will naturally be curious to know from whence it came and how it was created and indeed the clearing up of these points is absolutely essential to my history inasmuch as if this world had not been formed it is more than probable that this renowned island on which is situated the city of new york would never have had an existence the regular course of my history therefore requires that i should proceed to notice the or formation of this our globe and now i give my readers fair warning that i am about to plunge for a chapter or two into as complete a as ever historian was perplexed withal therefore i advise them to take fast hold of my skirts and keep close at my heels venturing neither to the right hand nor to the left lest they get in a of unintelligible learning or have their brains out by some of those hard greek names which i of ths world will be flying about in all directions but should any of them be too indolent or chicken hearted to accompany me in this perilous undertaking they had better take a short cut round and wait for me at the beginning of some chapter of the creation of the world we have a thousand contradictory accounts and though a very satisfactory one is furnished us by divine revelation yet every philosopher feels himself in honour bound to furnish us with a better as an impartial historian i consider it my duty to notice their several theories by which mankind have been so exceedingly and instructed thus it was the opinion of certain ancient that the earth and the whole system of the universe was the deity himself a doctrine most maintained by and the whole tribe of as also by and the	48
of philosophers likewise the famous system of the and and by means of his sacred the formation of the world the of nature and the principles both of music and morals j other to the system of squares and the the and the sphere the the the ap i cap f i c de c sur p de i cap of the world the while others ttie great theory which the construction of our globe and all that it contains to the of four material elements air re and water with the assistance of a an and principle nor must i omit to mention the great system taught by old before the siege of revived by of laughing memory j improved by that king of good fellows and by the fanciful but i decline inquiring whether the of which the earth is said to be composed are eternal or recent whether they are or whether agreeably to the opinion of the they were or as the maintain were arranged by a supreme intelligence t whether in fact the earth be an or whether it be animated by a which opinion was maintained by a host of philosophers at the head of whom stands the great that temperate sage who threw the cold water of philosophy on the form of intercourse and the doctrine of tim ap t p f cap i cap de i cap ad p x in i cap tim de ap de des t p et al creation of the world an exquisitely refined intercourse but much better adapted to the ideal inhabitants of his island of than to the sturdy race composed of rebellious flesh and blood which the little matter of fact island we besides these systems we have moreover the poetical of old who the whole universe in the regular mode of and the plausible opinion of others that the earth was from the great egg of night which floated in chaos and was cracked by the horns of the celestial bull to illustrate this last doctrine in his theory of the earth has favoured us with an accurate drawing and description both of the form and texture of this egg which is found to bear a marvellous resemblance to that of a goose such of my readers as take a proper interest in the origin of this our planet will be pleased to learn that the most profound of antiquity among the and have alternately assisted at the of this strange bird and that their have been caught and continued in different tones and from philosopher to philosopher unto the present day but while briefly noticing long celebrated systems of ancient let me not pass over with neglect those of other philosophers which though less universal and renowned have equal claims to book i ch creation of the world attention and equal chance for thus it is recorded by the in the pages of inspired that the angel himself into a great plunged the watery abyss and brought up the earth on his then issued from him a mighty and a mighty snake and placed the snake erect upon the back of the nd he placed the earth upon the head of the the negro philosophers of affirm that world was made by the hands of angels excepting their own country which the supreme constructed himself that it might be excellent and he took great pains with the inhabitants and made them very black and and when he had finished the first man he was well pleased with him and smoothed him over the face and hence his nose and the nose of all his descendants became flat the philosophers tell us that a woman fell down from heaven and that a took her upon its back because every place was covered with water and that the woman sitting upon the with her hands in the water and up the earth whence it finally happened that the earth became higher than the water t philosophy t account of or indians of thb world bat i forbear to quote a number more of these ancient and philosophers whose deplorable ignorance in despite of all their compelled them to write in languages which but few of my readers can understand and i shall proceed briefly to notice a few more intelligible and fashionable theories of their modem and first i shall mention the great who conjectures that this globe was originally a globe of liquid fire from the body of the sun by the of a as a spark is by the collision of flint and steel that at first it was surrounded by gross which and in process of time constituted according to their earth water and air which gradually arranged themselves according to their respective round the burning or mass that formed their centre on the contrary that the waters at first were universally and he himself with the idea that the earth must be eventually washed away by the force of rain rivers and mountain torrents until it is confounded with the ocean or in other words absolutely into itself sublime ideal far surpassing that of the tender hearted of antiquity who wept herself into a fountain j or the good dame of in france who for a of tongue unusual in her sex was doomed of ths to five hundred thousand and thirty nine ropes of and actually ran out at her before half the hideous task was accomplished the same ingenious philosopher who in his after for which the mischief loving swift discharged on their heads a most has distinguished himself by a very admirable l respecting the earth he conjectures that it was originally a which being selected for the abode of man was removed from its m and whirled round the sun in its present regular motion by which change of direction c succeeded to in the arrangement t f its parts the philosopher adds that	48
hum we of three ham and authors it is true are who affirm thai the had a number of other children thus makes him father of the gigantic gives him a son called or and others have mentioned a son named from whom descended the teu tons or or in other the dutch nation i f exceedingly that the nature of my plan will not permit me to gratify the curiosity of my readers by the history of the great indeed such an undertaking would be attended with more trouble than many people would imagine for the good old seems to have been a great traveller in his day and to have passed under a name in every country that he visited the for instance give us his story merely his name into a trivial his various name tion which to an historian skilled in appear wholly unimportant it appears likewise that he had exchanged his and among the for the gorgeous of and appears as a monarch in their annals the him under the name of the indians as the greek and roman writers confound him with and the with and but the chinese who rank the most extensive and inasmuch as they have known the world longer than any one else declare that was no other than and what gives this assertion some air of is that it is a fact admitted by the most enlightened that into china at the time of the building of the tower of probably to improve himself in the study of languages and the learned dr gives us the additional information that the ark rested on a mountain on the of china from this mass of rational conjectures and sage many satisfactory might be drawn but i shall content myself with the fact stated in the bible that three sons ham and it is astonishing on what remote and obscure the great of this world depend and how events the most distant and to the common are inevitably consequent the uncertainty as to whether one to the other it remains to the philosopher to discover these mysterious and it is the triumph of his skill to detect and drag forth some latent chain of which at first sight appears a to the inexperienced observer thus of my readers will doubtless wonder what the family of can possibly have with this history and many will stare when informed that the whole history of this quarter of the world has taken its character and course from the simple circumstance of the s having but three sons but to explain we are told by sundry very becoming sole heir and proprietor of the earth in fee simple after the like a good father out his estate among his children to he gave asia to ham africa and to europe now it is a thousand times to be lamented that he had but three sons for had there been a fourth he would doubtless have inherited america which of course would have been dragged forth from its on the occasion and thus many a hard working historian and philosopher would have been spared a prodigious mass of weary conjecture the first discovery and population of this country however having provided for his three sons looked in all probability upon our country as mere wild unsettled land and said nothing about it to this of the america was known to ay we the misfortune that america did ot come into the as as the other quarters of the globe it is true some writers have him from this towards posterity and asserted that he really did discover america thus it was the opinion of mark a french writer possessed of that of thought and of reflection so peculiar to his nation that the immediate descendants of peopled this quarter of the globe and that the old himself who still retained a passion for the sea life the the pious and enlightened father a french remarkable for his aversion to the marvellous common to all great travellers is of the same opinion nay he goes still further and upon the manner in which the discovery was effected which was by sea and under the immediate direction of the great i have already observed the good father in a tone of becoming indignation that it is an arbitrary supposition that the of were not able to penetrate into the new world or that they never thought of it in effect i can see no reason that can justify such a notion who can seriously believe that and his immediate descendants knew less than we do and that the and pilot of the greatest ship that ever was a ship which was formed to an unbounded ocean and had so many and q log book of to guard against should be ignorant of or should not have communicated to his descendants the art of sailing on the ocean therefore they did sail on the ocean therefore they sailed to therefore america was discovered by now all this exquisite chain of reasoning which is so strikingly characteristic of the good father being addressed to the faith rather than the under standing is opposed by de who declares it a real and most ridiculous to suppose that ever entertained the thought of discovering america and as is a i writer i am inclined to believe he must have much better acquainted with the worthy crew of the ark than his and of course possessed of more accurate sources of information it is astonishing how intimate daily become with the and other great men of antiquity as intimacy with time as the learned are particularly inquisitive and familiar in their acquaintance with the i should not be surprised if some future writers should gravely give u a picture of men and manners as they existed before the flood far more copious and accurate than the bible and	48
that in the of another century the log book of the good should be as among as the voyages of captain cook or the renowned history of robinson i shall not occupy my time by discussing the how america was huge mass of additional conjectures and respecting the first discovery of this country with which unhappy over load themselves in their to satisfy the doubts of an incredulous world it is painful to see these laborious panting and toiling and under an enormous burden at the very outset of their works which on being opened turns out to be nothing but a mighty bundle of straw as however by they seem to have established the fact to the satisfaction of all the world that this country has been discovered i shall avail myself of their useful labours to be extremely brief upon this point i shall not therefore stop to inquire whether america was first discovered by a wandering vessel of that celebrated fleet which according to africa or by that expedition which the us discovered the islands or whether it was settled by a temporary colony from as hinted by and i shall neither inquire whether it was first discovered by the chinese as us with great ad nor by the in under nor by the german as mr s endeavoured to prove ta the s of the city of nor all i the modern of the founded oa tjie voyage of in the century the author s plan returned it has since been wisely concluded that he must have gone to america and that for a plain reason if he did not go there where else could he have gone a question which most out all further dispute laying aside therefore all the conjectures above mentioned with a multitude of others equally satisfactory i shall take for granted the vulgar opinion that america was discovered on the l h of october by a who has been nick named but for what reason i cannot discern of the voyages and adventures of this i shall say nothing seeing that they are already sufficiently known nor shall i undertake to prove that this country should have been called after his name that being self evident having thus happily got my readers on this side of the atlantic i picture them to myself all impatience to enter upon the of the land of promise and in expectation that i will immediately deliver it into their possession but if i do may i ever the reputation of a r bred historian no no most curious and thrice learned readers for thrice learned ye are if ye have read all that has g me e and nine times learned ye be if ye read that which after yet of us think you the first of this m quarter of the had nothing to do but go on shore and find a country ready laid out and cultivated like exhibited to the reader den wherein they might at their ease no thing they had forests to cut down to up to drain and savages to in like manner i have sundry doubts to clear away questions to resolve and to explain before i permit you to range at random but these difficulties once overcome we shall be enabled to on right merrily through the rest of our history thus my work shall in a manner echo the nature of the subject in the same manner as the sound of poetry has been found by certain shrewd critics to echo the sense this being an improvement in history which i claim the merit of having invented difficulties chapter iv the great difficulty philosophers have had in and h io the came to he by accident to the great relief and satisfaction of the author the next inquiry at which we arrive in the regular course of our history is to ascertain if possible how this country was originally peopled a point fruitful of incredible for unless we prove that the did absolutely come from somewhere it will be immediately asserted in this age of that they did not come at all and if they did not come at all then was this country never a conclusion perfectly agreeable to the rules of logic but wholly to every feeling of humanity inasmuch as it must prove fatal to the innumerable of this region to so dire a and to rescue from logical so many millions of fellow creatures how many wings of have been what of ink have been drained and how many heads of learned have been and for ever confounded i pause with awe when i contemplate the ponderous in different languages with which they have endeavoured to solve this question so important to the happiness the ab ri of l f society but so involved in clouds of impenetrable obscurity historian after historian has engaged in the endless circle of and after leading us a weary chase through and has let us out at the end of his work just as wise as we were at the beginning it was doubtless some philosophical goose chase of the kind that made the old poet rail in such a passion at curiosity which he most heartily as an irksome care a superstitious industry about things an to see what k not to be seen and to be doing what nothing when it is done but to proceed of the claims of the children of to the original population of this country i shall say nothing as they have already been touched upon in my last chapter the next in are the descendants of thus called when he first discovered the gold mines of immediately concluded with a that would have done honour to a philosopher that he had found the ancient from whence solomon procured the gold the temple nay even imagined that	48
he saw the remains of of veritable construction employed in the precious ore so golden a conjecture with such extravagance was too tempting not to be immediately snapped at by the of of authors respecting learning and accordingly there were divers profound writers ready to swear to its and to bring in their usual load of authorities and wise to it up and declared nothing could be more clear without the least hesitation that was the true and the jews the early of the country while and several other sagacious writers in a supposed prophecy of the fourth book of which being inserted in the mighty like the key stone of an arch gives it in their opinion perpetual scarce however have they completed their goodly than in a of opposite authors with de the great at their head and at one blow the whole fabric about their ears in fact outright all the claims to the first settlement of this country all those symptoms and traces of christianity and which have been said to be found in divers provinces of the new world to the who has always affected to the worship of the true deity a remark says the knowing old d made by all good authors who have spoken of the religion of nations newly discovered and founded besides on the authority of the fathers church some writers again among whom it is with great regret i am compelled to mention thk first of america s de and de that the being driven from the land of promise by the jews were seized with such a panic that they fled without looking behind them until stopping to take breath they found themselves in america as they brought neither their national language manners nor features with them it is supposed they left them behind in the hurry of their flight i cannot give my faith to this opinion i pass over the supposition of the learned who being both an and a to boot is entitled to great respect that north america was peopled by a strolling company of and that was founded by a colony from china or the being himself a chinese nor shall i more than barely mention that father the settlement of america to the to the to the to a party from to the the to the le to the to the martin d to the together with the sage of de that england ireland and the may contend for that honour nor will i bestow any more attention or credit to the idea that america is the fairy region of described by that dreaming traveller the j or that it the visionary island of described by neither will i stop to investigate the of assertion of that each the globe was originally furnished with an adam and eve or the more flattering opinion of t supported by many nameless authorities that adam was of the indian or the startling conjecture of and so highly honourable to mankind that the whole human species is accidentally descended a remarkable family of this last conjecture i must own came upon me very suddenly and very have beheld the in a while gazing in stupid wonder at the extravagant of a all at once by a sudden stroke of the wooden sword across his shoulders little did i think at such times that it would ever fall to my lot to be treated with equal and that while i was quietly beholding these grave philosophers the eccentric of the hero of they would on a sudden turn upon me and my readers and with one flourish us into beasts i determined from that moment not to bum my with any their theories but t myself with the by which they transported the descendants these ancient and respectable this field of warfare this done either by by land or by water thus joseph i three passages by land first by t e of secondly by the north of the first of america asia and by regions southward of the straits of the learned his by a pleasant route across frozen rivers and arms of the sea through and and various writers among whom are de and anxious for the accommodation of these travellers have fastened the two together by a strong chain of by which means they could pass over dry shod but should even this fail that industrious old gentleman who books and has constructed a natural bridge of ice from continent to continent at the distance of four or five miles from s straits for which he is entitled to the grateful thanks of all the wandering who ever did or ever will pass over it it is an evil much to be lamented that none of the worthy writers above quoted could ever commence his work without immediately declaring against every writer who had treated of the same subject in this particular authors may be compared to a sagacious bird which in building its nest is sure to pull to pieces the nests of all the birds in its neighbourhood this unhappy to the progress of sound knowledge theories are at best but productions and when once committed to the stream they should take care that like the notable pots which were they do not crack each other f america peopled by accident my chief surprise is that among the many writers i have noticed no one has attempted prove that this country was peopled from th moon or that the first inhabitants floated hither on islands of ice as white bears about the northern or that they were by as modem pass to or by as posted among the or after the manner of the renowned who like the new england on full blooded made most unheard of journeys on the back of a golden arrow given him by the but there is	48
still one mode left by which this country could have been peopled which i have reserved for the last because i consider it worth all the rest it is hy accident speaking of the islands of solomon new guinea and new holland the profound father in fine all these countries are peopled and it is possible some have been so bj accident now if it could have happened in that manner why might it not have been at the same and by the same m with the other parts of the globe this ingenious mode of certain conclusions from possible premises is an improvement in skill and proves the good father superior even to for he can turn the world without any thing to rest his upon it is only surpassed by the dexterity with which the sturdy old in another place cuts the three certain conclusions knot nothing says he is more easy the inhabitants of both are certainly the descendants of the same father the common father of mankind received an express order from heaven to people the world and accordingly it has been peopled to bring this about it was necessary to overcome all difficulties in the way and they have also been overcome t pious how does he put all the herd of laborious to the blush by explaining in five words what it has cost them volumes to prove they knew nothing about from all the authorities here quoted and a variety of others which i have consulted but which are omitted through fear of the reader i can only draw the following conclusions which luckily however are sufficient for my first that this part of the world has actually been peopled q e d to support which we have living proofs in the numerous tribes of indians that it secondly that it has been peopled in five hundred different ways as proved by a cloud of authors who from the of their seem to have been to the fact that the people of this country had a variety of father which as it may not be thought much to their credit by the common run of readers the less we say on the subject the better the question therefore i trust is for ever at rest f a gigantic question chapter v in the author puts a mighty question to the hy the assistance of the man in the moon not only thousands of people great embarrassment but this book the writer of a history may in some respects be unto an adventurous knight who having undertaken a perilous enterprise by way of establishing his fame feels bound in honour and chivalry to turn back for no difficulty nor hardship and never to shrink or whatever enemy he may encounter under this impression i resolutely draw my pen and fall to with might and main at those questions and subtle which like fiery and bloody giants beset the entrance to my history and would fain me from the very threshold and at this moment a gigantic question has started up which i must needs take by the beard and utterly subdue before i can advance another step in my historic undertaking but i trust this will be the last adversary i shall have to contend with and that in the next book i shall be enabled to conduct my readers in triumph into the body of my work the question which has thus suddenly arisen is what right had the first of america to rights of the and and take possession of a country without first gaining the consent of its inhabitants or yielding them an adequate compensation for their territory a question which has many fierce and has given much distress of mind to multitudes of kind hearted folk j and indeed until it be totally and put to rest the worthy people of america can by no means enjoy the soil they with clear right and title and quiet the first source of right by which property is acquired in a country is discovery for as all mankind have an equal right to any thing which h never before been appropriated so any nation that an country and takes possession thereof is considered as enjoying full property and absolute empire therein this proposition being admitted it follows clearly that the who first visited america were the real of the same nothing being necessary to the establishment of this fact but simply to prove that it was totally by man this would at first appear to be a point of ome difficulty for it is well known that this quarter of the world with certain animals that walked erect on two feet had something of the human countenance uttered certain unintelligible sounds very much like language in short had a marvellous resemblance to human b c b c c pf thk natives beings but the zealous and enlightened who accompanied the for the purpose of the kingdom of by ing on cleared up this point greatly to the satisfaction of his the pope and of all christian and they plainly proved and as there were no indian writers arose on the other side the fact was considered as fully admitted and established that the two legged race of animals before mentioned were mere detestable monsters and many of them giants which last description of have since the times of and been considered as and have received no quarter in either history chivalry or song indeed even the philosophic de the americans to be people by the laws of nature inasmuch as they had a barbarous custom of sacrificing men and feeding upon man s flesh nor are these all the proofs of their utter among many other writers of tells us their is so visible that one can hardly form an idea of them different from what one has of the brutes nothing the tranquillity	48
more know ledge more wants and more elegant that is to say artificial desires than themselves in entering upon a newly discovered country therefore the new comers were but taking possession of what according to the doctrine was their own therefore in opposing them the savages were their just rights the laws of nature and the will of therefore they were guilty of and on the case therefore they were hardened against god and man therefore they ought to be but a more irresistible right than either that i have mentioned and one which will be the most readily admitted by my reader provided he be blessed with of charity and is the right acquired by civilization all the world knows the lamentable state in which these poor savages were found not only deficient in the comforts of life but what is still worse most and unfortunately blind to the miseries of their situation but no sooner did the benevolent inhabitants of europe behold their sad condition than they immediately went to work to and improve it they introduced among them rum gin brandy and the other comforts of and it is astonishing to read how soon the poor their want of religion savages learnt to estimate these blessings likewise made known to them a thousand dies by which the most diseases are ae and healed and that they might comprehend the benefits and enjoy the comforts of they previously introduced among the diseases which they were calculated to by these and a variety of other methods was th condition of these poor savages wonderfully improved they acquired a thousand wants of which they had before been ignorant and as he has most sources of happiness who has most wants to be gratified they were rendered a much happier race of beings but the most important branch of civilization and which has most been by the zealous and pious fathers of the church is the introduction of the christian faith it was truly a sight that might well inspire horror to behold these savages stumbling among the dark mountains of and guilty of the most horrible ignorance of religion it is true they neither stole nor they were sober continent and faithful to their word but though they acted right habitually it was all in vain unless they acted so from the therefore used every method to induce them to embrace and practise the true religion except indeed that of setting them the example but notwithstanding all these complicated labours for their good such was the how supplied obstinacy of these stubborn wretches that they refused to acknowledge the strangers as their and persisted in the doctrines they endeavoured to most that from their conduct the of christianity did not seem to believe in it themselves was not this too much for human patience would not one suppose that the from europe provoked at their incredulity and discouraged by their stiff obstinacy would for ever have abandoned their shores and consigned them to their original ignorance and misery but no so zealous were they to effect the comfort and eternal salvation of these pagan that they even proceeded from the means of persuasion to the more painful and troublesome one of persecution let loose among them whole troops of fiery and furious them by fire and sword by stake and in consequence of which measures the cause of christian love and charity was so rapidly advanced that in a very few years not one fifth of the number of existed in south america that were found there at the time of its discovery what stronger right need the european advance to the than this have not whole nations of savages made acquainted with a thousand imperious wants and indispensable comforts of which they were comfortable changes before wholly ignorant have they not been literally hunted and smoked out of the places of ignorance and and absolutely into the right path have not the things the vain and filthy of this world which were too apt to engage their worldly and selfish thoughts been taken from them and have they not instead thereof been taught to set their affections on things above and finally to use the words of a reverend spanish father in a letter to his superior in spain can any one have the presumption to say that these savage have yielded any thing more than an to their in to them a little pitiful tract of this dirty planet in exchange for a glorious inheritance in the kingdom of heaven here then are three complete and sources of right established any one of which was more than ample to establish a property in the newly discovered regions of america now so it has happened in certain parts of this delightful quarter of the globe that the right of very has been so asserted tbe ence of cultivation so extended and the progress of salvation and civilization so that what with their attendant wars diseases and other partial evils that often hang on the skirts of great benefits the savage have somehow or right by another been utterly and this all at brings me to a fourth right which is worth ill the others put together for the original to the soil being all dead and buried one remaining to inherit or dispute the soil e as the next immediate occupants entered upon the possession as clearly ar the to the clothes of the and as they have and all the learned of the law on their side they may set all actions of at defiance and this last right may be entitled the right by or in other words the right by but lest any scruples of conscience should remain on this head and to settle the question of right for ever his pope alexander vi issued a bull by	48
a variety of of a horrible whiteness instead of green g address to the man in the moon we have moreover found these miserable savages sunk into a state of the utmost ignorance and every man living with his own wife and his own children instead of indulging in that community of wives by the law of nature as by the philosophers of the moon in a word they have scarcely a gleam of true philosophy among them but are in fact utter and taking compassion therefore on the sad condition of these wretches we have endeavoured while we remained on their planet to introduce among them the light of reason and the comforts of the moon we have treated them to of and draughts of which they with incredible particularly the females and we have likewise endeavoured to into them the of philosophy we have insisted upon their the contemptible of religion and common sense and the profound and all perfect energy and the immovable perfection but such was the obstinacy of these wretched savages that they persisted in to their wives and to their religion and absolutely set at the sublime doctrines of the nay among other abominable they even went so far as to declare that this planet was made of nothing more nor less than green cheese the man in the moon s bull at these words the great man in the moon being a very profound philosopher shall fall into a terrible passion and possessing equal authority over things that do not belong to him as did his the pope shall forthwith issue a formidable bull whereas a certain crew of have lately discovered and taken possession of a newly discovered planet called the earth and that whereas it is inhabited by none but a race of two legged animals that carry their heads on their shoulders instead of under their arms cannot talk the lunatic language have two eyes instead of one are destitute of tails and of a horrible whiteness instead of green therefore and for a variety of other excellent reasons they are considered incapable of possessing any property in the planet they and the right and title to it are confirmed to its original and the who are now about to depart to the planet are and commanded to use every means to convert these savages from the darkness of christianity and make them thorough and absolute in consequence of this benevolent bull our philosophic go to work with hearty zeal they seize upon our fertile us from our possessions relieve us from our wives and when we are unreasonable enough to complain they will turn upon us and say miserable ungrateful wretches have we of not come thousands of miles to improve your worthless planet have we not fed you with have we not you with does not our moon give you light every night and have you the to murmur when we claim a pitiful return for all these benefits but finding that we not only persist in absolute contempt of their reasoning and in their philosophy but even go so far as to defend our property their patience shall be exhausted and they shall resort to their superior powers of argument hunt us with us with concentrated sun beams our cities with moon stones until having by force converted us to the true faith they shall graciously permit us to exist in the desert of or the frozen regions of ther to enjoy the blessings of civilization and th charms of philosophy in much the sam manner as the and enlightened savage of this country are kindly suffered to th forests of the north or the of south america thus i hope i have clearly proved and strikingly illustrated the right of the early to the possession of this country and thus is thi gigantic question completely so having surmounted all obstacles and subdued all opposition what remains but that i should forthwith conduct my readers into the city which we have been so long in a manner clearly proved but hold before i proceed another step i must pause to take breath and recover from the excessive fatigue i have undergone in preparing to begin this most accurate of histories and in this i do but imitate the example of a renowned dutch of antiquity who took a start of three miles for the purpose of jumping over a hill but having run himself out of breath by the time he reached the foot sat himself quietly down for a few moments to blow and then walked over it at his leisure my great grandfather i r book ii treating of the first settlement of the of chapter i in are contained divert reasons a man should not in a hurry of master his discover of a strange country and he was by the of their high my great grandfather by the mother s side van when employed build the large stone church at stands about three hundred yards to your left after you turn off from the and so conveniently constructed that all the zealous christians of prefer sleeping through a sermon there to any other church in the city my great grandfather i say when employed to build that famous church did in the first place send to for a box of long pipes then having purchased a new box and a hundred weight of the best virginia he sat himself down and did nothing for the space of three months but smoke most laboriously then did he spend full three how he built a church months more in on foot and in from to to to to to the knocking his head and breaking his pipe against every church in his road then did he advance gradually nearer and nearer to until he came in full	48
sight of the identical spot whereon the church was to be built then did he spend three months longer in walking round it and round it contemplating it first from one point of view and then from another now would he be hy it on the canal now would he peep at it through a from the other side of the and now would he take a bird s eye glance at it from the top of one of those gigantic which protect the gates of the city the good folks of the place were on the of expectation and impatience notwithstanding all the turmoil of my great grandfather not a symptom of the church was yet to be seen they even began to fear it would never be brought into the world but that its great would lie down and die in labour of the mighty plan he had conceived at length having occupied twelve good months in puffing and and talking and having travelled over all holland and even taken a peep into france and germany having smoked five hundred and ninety pipes and three hundred weight of the best virginia tobacco my great grandfather gathered together all that knowing and industrious of his followed citizens who prefer attending to any body s business sooner than their own and having pulled off his coat and five pair of breeches he advanced up and laid the comer stone of the church in the presence of the whole multitude just at the commencement of the month in a similar manner and with the example of my worthy full before my eyes have i proceeded in writing this most history the honest no doubt thought my great grandfather was doing nothing at all to the purpose while he was making such a world of bustle about the building of his church and many of the ingenious inhabitants of this fair city will unquestionably suppose that all the preliminary chapters with the discovery population and final settlement of america were totally and superfluous and that the main business the history of new york is not a more advanced than if i had never taken up my pen never were wise people more mistaken in conjectures in consequence of going to work slowly and deliberately the church came out of my grandfather s hands one of the most goodly and glorious in the known world excepting that like our magnificent at washington it was began on so grand a scale that the good folks could not afford to finish more than the wing of it so likewise i trust if ever i am enabled to finish this work on the plan i have commenced of which in truth i described sometimes have my doubts it be found that i have pursued the latest rules of my art as in the writings of all the great american and wrought a very large history out of a small subject which days is considered one of the great triumphs of historic skill to pi then with the thread of my story in the ever memorable year of our lord on a saturday morning the five and twentieth day of march old style did that worthy and as he has justly been called master henry set sail from holland in a stout vessel called the half moon being employed by the dutch east india company to seek a north west passage to china henry or as the dutch call him was a sea man of renown who had learned to smoke tobacco under sir walter and is said to have been the first to introduce it into holland which gained him much popularity in that country and caused him to find great favour in the eyes of their high the lords states general and also of the honourable west india company he was a short square old gentleman with a double chin a mouth and a broad copper nose which was supposed in those days to have acquired its fiery hue from the constant neighbourhood of his tobacco pipe he wore a true tucked in a belt and a s cocked hat on one robert his mate side of his head he was remarkable for always up his breeches when he gave out his orders and his voice sounded not unlike the of a tin owing to the number of hard which he had swallowed in the course of his sea such was of whom we have heard so much and know so little and i have been thus particular in his description for the benefit of modern painters and that they may represent him as he was and not according to their common custom with modem heroes make him look like or or the of as chief mate and favourite companion the chose master robert of in england by some his name has been and ascribed to the circumstance of his having been the first man that ever tobacco but this i believe to be a mere more especially as certain of his are living at this day who write their names he was an old comrade and early school mate of the great with whom he had often played and sailed boats in a neighbouring pond when they were little boys from whence it is said the first derived his bias towards a sea life certain it is that the old people about declared robert to be an unlucky prone to mischief that would one day or other come to the gallows his al he grew up as boys of that kind often grow up a rambling heedless tossed about in all quarters of the world meeting with more perils and wonders than did the sailor without growing a whit more wise prudent or ill natured under every misfortune he comforted himself with a of tobacco and the truly philosophic that it will	48
be all the same thing a hundred years hence he was skilled in the art of carving and true lover s knots on the bulk heads and quarter and was considered a great wit ship in consequence of his playing on every body around and now and then even making a face at old when his back was turned to this universal genius are we indebted for many s concerning this voyage of which he wrote a history at the request of the who had an aversion to writing himself from having received so many about it when at school to supply the of master s journal which is written with true log book i have availed myself of divers family traditions handed down from my great great grandfather who accompanied the expedition in the capacity of cabin boy from all that i can learn few incidents worthy of remark happened in the voyage and it me exceedingly that i have to admit so noted an expedition into my work without making any more of it r suffice it to say the voyage was prosperous an tranquil the crew being a patient people mud given to slumber and and but little with the disease of thinking a malady of the mind which is the sure of discontent had laid in abundance of gin and sour and every man was allowed to sleep quietly at his post unless the wind blew true it is some slight dissatisfaction was shown on two or three occasions at certain unreasonable conduct of thus for instance he to sail when the wind was light and the weather serene which was considered among the most experienced dutch as certain ther or that the weather would change for the worse he acted moreover in direct contradiction to that ancient and sage rule of the dutch who always took in sail at night put the a port and turned in by which precaution they had a good night s rest were sure of knowing where they were the next morning and stood but little of running down a continent in the dark he likewise the from wearing more than five and six pair of breeches under pretence of rendering them more alert no man was permitted to go and hand in sails with a pipe in his mouth as is the invariable dutch custom at the present day all these though they might for a moment the tranquillity of the honest dutch the voyage but transient impression tbey eat drank and slept and being under the especial of providence the ship was safely conducted to the coast of america where after sundry unimportant and off and on she at length on the ft day of september entered that majestic ay at this day its ample bosom before the city of new york and which had never before been visited by any european true it and i am not ignorant of the ct that in a tain book of voyages by one t ig o be found a letter written to francis the first by one anne or john on which some writers are inclined to found a belief that this delightful bay had been visited nearly century previous to the voyage of the ow this it has met with the countenance of certain very judicious and learned men i hold in utter and that for various good and substantial reasons first because on strict examination it will be found that the description given by this applies about as well to the bay of new york as it does to my because that this john for whom i already begin to feel a most bitter enmity is a native of and every body of these by which they away the from the brows of the immortal called and bestowed them on their and i make no doubt they are equally ready to rob the illustrious of the credit of discovering this island adorned by the city of new york and j it beside their discovery of south america and i i my decision in favour of the pretensions of inasmuch as ms expedition sailed from holland being truly and absolutely a dutch enterprise and discovery op a it has been in our family that when the great was first blessed with a view of this island he was observed for the first and only time in his life to exhibit strong symptoms of astonishment and admiration he is said to have turned to master and uttered these remarkable words while he pointed towards this paradise of the new world see there and thereupon as was always his way when he was uncommonly pleased he did puff out such clouds of dense tobacco smoke that in one minute the vessel was out of sight of land and master was fain to wait until the winds dispersed this impenetrable fog it was indeed as my great great grandfather used to say though in truth i never heard him for he died as might be expected before i was bom it was indeed a spot on w hich the eye might have for ever in ever new and never ending beauties the island of spread wide before them like some sweet vision of fancy or some fair creation of industrious magic its hills of smiling green swelled gently one above another crowned with though all the proofs in the world were introduced on the other side i would set them at as my attention if these three reasons be not sufficient to satisfy every of this ancient all i can say is they are descendants from their venerable dutch ancestors and totally unworthy the trouble of convincing thus therefore the title of to his renowned discovery is fully beautiful country lofty trees of luxuriant growth some pointing their foliage towards the clouds which were transparent and others	48
loaded with a of vines bowing their branches to the earth that was covered with flowers on the gentle of the hills were scattered in gay profusion the the and the wild whose scarlet and white blossoms glowed brightly among the deep green of the surrounding foliage and here and there a curling column of smoke rising from the little that opened along the shore seemed to promise the weary a welcome at the hands of their fellow creatures as they stood gazing with attention on the scene before them a red man crowned with feathers issued from one of these and after contemplating in silent wonder the gallant ship as she sat like a stately swan swimming on a silver lake sounded the war and bounded into the woods like a wild deer to the utter astonishment of the who had never heard such a noise or witnessed such a in their whole lives of the transactions of our with the savages and how the latter smoked copper pipes and ate dried how they brought great store of tobacco and how they shot one of the ship s crew and how he was buried i shall say nothing being that i consider unimportant to my history after a few days h s notable device in the bay in order to refresh themselves after their sea our weighed anchor to explore a mighty river which emptied into the bay this river it is said was known among the savages by the name of the though we are assured in an excellent little history published in by john that it was called the and master richard who wrote some time afterwards the same so that i very much incline in favour of the opinion two honest gentlemen be this as it may up this river did the adventurous proceed little doubting but it would turn out to be the much looked for passage to china the journal goes on to make mention of divers between the crew and the natives in the voyage up the river but as they would be impertinent to my history i shall pass over them in silence except the following dry joke played off by the old and his robert which does such vast credit to their philosophy that i cannot refrain from it our master and his mate determined to try some of the men of the whether they had any in them so they them into the cabin and gave them so much wine and that they were all and one of them this river is likewise laid down in s map as and river makes a remarkable discovery had his wife with him which so as any of our women would do in a strange place in the end one of them was which had been of our ship all the time that we had there and that was strange to them for they could not tell how to take it having satisfied himself by this ingenious experiment that the natives were an honest social race of jolly who had no objection to a drinking bout and were very merry in their cups the old chuckled to himself and thrusting a double of tobacco in his cheek directed master to have it carefully recorded for the satisfaction of all the natural philosophers of the university of den which done he proceeded on his voyage with great after sailing however above a hundred miles up the river he found the watery world around him began to grow more shallow and confined the current more rapid and perfectly fresh phenomena not uncommon in the ascent of rivers but which puzzled the honest a consultation was therefore called and having full six hours they were brought to a determination by the ship s running whereupon they concluded that there was but little chance of getting to china in this direction a boat however was despatched to explore higher s h loo rewarded up the river which on its return confirmed the opinion upon this the ship was off and put about with great difficulty being like most of her sex exceedingly hard to govern and the adventurous according to the account of my great great grandfather returned down the river with a prodigious in his ear i being satisfied that there was little of getting to china unless like the blind man he returned from whence he sat out and took a fresh start he forthwith the sea to holland where he was received with great welcome by the honourable east india company who were very much rejoiced to see him come back safe with their ship and at a large and respectable meet ing of the first merchants and oi it was determined that as a reward for the eminent services he had performed and the important discovery he had made the great river should be called after his name and it continues to be called river unto this very day expedition sets out chapter ii containing an account of a ark under the protection of st from holland to the descent of the strange animals a great victory and a description ancient village of accounts given by the great and master of the country they had discovered excited not a little talk and speculation among the good people of holland letters patent were granted by government to an association of merchants called the west india company for the exclusive trade on river on which they erected a trading house called fort or orange from whence did spring the great city of but i forbear to dwell on the various commercial and which took place j among which was that of block who discovered and gave a name to block island since famous for its cheese and shall barely confine myself to that which gave birth to this renowned city it was	48
some three or four years after the return of the immortal that a crew of honest low dutch set sail from the city of am for the shores of america it is an loss to history and a great proof of the darkness of the age and the lamentable neglect description of the of the noble art of book making since so cultivated by knowing sea captains an learned that an expedition so ii and important in its results should fc passed over in utter silence to my great grandfather am i again indebted for the few i am enabled to give concerning it he once more embarked for this country with a fu determination as he said of ending his days hei and of a race of should rise to be great men in the land the ship in which these illustrious adventure set sail was called the or woman in compliment to the wife of the pr of the west india company who was by every body except her husband to be a tempered lady when not in liquor it was truth a most gallant vessel of the most approve dutch construction and made by the of who it is well know always model their ships after the fair forms their accordingly it had oi hundred feet in the beam one hundred feet in tl and one hundred feet from the bottom of tl stern post to the like the model who was declared to be the greatest in it was full in the bows with a pa of enormous cat heads a copper bottom and with a most prodigious the who was somewhat of a man far from the ship with pagan idol arrival at island such as or which i have no doubt occasion the misfortunes and of many a noble vessel he i say on the contrary did erect for a head a goodly image of st as equipped with a low broad hat a pair of trunk and a pipe that to the end of the thus gallantly furnished the ship floated sideways a majestic goose out of the harbour of the great city of and all the bells that were not otherwise engaged rung a triple on the joyful occasion my great great grandfather remarks that the voyage was uncommonly prosperous for being the especial care of the ever st the seemed to be endowed with qualities unknown to common vessels thus she made as much lee way as head way could get along very nearly as fast with the wind a head as when it was a and was particularly great in a calm in consequence of which singular advantages she made out to accomplish her voyage in a very few months and came to anchor at the mouth of the a little to the east of island here lifting up their eyes they beheld on what is at present called the shore a small in village pleasantly in a grove of spreading elms and the natives all collected on the beach gazing in stupid admiration at the h victory over the natives a boat was immediately despatched to enter into a treaty with them and the shore hailed them through a trumpet in the most friendly terms but so confounded were these poor savages at the tremendous sound of the low dutch language that they one and all took to their heels over the hills nor did they stop until they had buried themselves head and ears in th on the other side where they all miserably perished to a man and their bones being collected and decently covered by the society of that day formed that singular mound called snake hill which rises out of th centre of the salt a little to the east o the animated by this for victory our heroes sprang ashore in triumph took possession of the soil as in the name of their high the lords states general and marching forward carried the village of by storm notwithstanding that it was vigorously defended by some half a score of old and on looking about them they were so transported with the of the place that they had very little doubt the blessed st had guided them thither as the very spot whereon to settle their colony the softness of the soil was wonderfully adapted to the driving of piles j the and around them afforded ample opportunities at r the of and the of the shore was peculiarly favourable to the of in a word this spot ith all the for the foundation of a dutch city on making a faithful report therefore to the crew of the they ne and all determined that this was the destined nd of their voyage accordingly they descended the women and children goodly groups as did the animals of from he ark and formed themselves into a which they called by the indian name c as all the world is doubtless perfectly acquainted vith it may seem somewhat su to treat of it in the present work but any readers will please to recollect that notwithstanding it is my chief desire to satisfy the present age yet i write likewise for posterity and lave to consult the understanding and curiosity of some half a score of centuries yet to come by which time perhaps were it not for this invaluable history the great like and other great cities might be perfectly extinct sunk and forgotten in its own mud its inhabitants turned into and even its situation a fertile subject of learned and bard headed investigation among let me then by into rescue from oblivion the humble relics of a place which was the egg from whence was the mighty city of new york is at present but a small village pleasantly situated among rural scenery on that part of the shore which was known in ancient legends by	48
the name of and commands a grand prospect of the superb bay of new york it is within but half an hour s sail of the latter place provided you have a fair wind and may be distinctly seen from the city nay it is a well known fact which i can testify from ray own experience that on a clear still summer evening you may hear from the battery of new york the of broad mouthed laughter of the dutch at who like most other are famous for their powers this is peculiarly the case on sunday evenings when it is remarked by an ingenious and observant philosopher who has made great discoveries in the neighbourhood of this city that they always laugh which he attributes to the circumstance of their having their holiday clothes on these in fact like the in the dark ages all the knowledge of the place and being infinitely more adventurous and more knowing than their masters carry on all the foreign trade making frequent voyages to town in in the ancient maps is given to a tract of country extending from about to character its inhabitants loaded with and they are great the different changes of weather almost as accurately as an they are moreover exquisite on three in whistling they almost boast the far powers of s for not a horse or an ox in the place when at the plough or before the will a foot until he hears the well known whistle of his black driver and companion and from their amazing skill at casting up accounts upon their fingers they are regarded with as much veneration as were the of of when into the sacred of numbers as to the honest of like wise men and sound philosophers they never look beyond their pipes nor trouble their heads about any affairs out of their immediate neighbourhood so that they live in profound and ignorance of all the troubles anxieties and of this distracted planet i am even told that many among them do verily believe that holland of which they have heard so much from tradition is situated somewhere on long island that devil and the are the two ends of the world that the country is still under the dominion of their high and that the city of new york still goes by the name of they meet every saturday afternoon at the only tavern in the place which bears as a manners s he sign a square headed likeness of the prince of orange where they smoke a silent pipe by way of social and invariably drink a of to the success of admiral van who they imagine is still sweeping the british channel with a at his mast head in short is one of the numerous little villages in the vicinity of this most beautiful of cities which are so many strong holds and whither the primitive manners of our dutch forefathers have retreated and where they are cherished with devout and scrupulous the dress of the original is handed down from father to son the identical hat broad skirted coat and broad breeches continue from generation to generation and several gigantic knee of silver are still in wear that made gallant display in the days of the of the language likewise continues by barbarous and so correct is the village in his dialect that his reading of a low dutch has much the same effect on the nerves as the of a with the indians ni n is forth the true art of making a bargain together the miraculous escape of a great metropolis tn a fog and the biography of certain heroes of having in the trifling which concluded the last chapter discharged the filial duty the city of new york owed to as being the mother settlement and having given a faithful picture of it as it stands at pre nt i return with a soothing sentiment of to dwell upon its early history the of the being soon y fresh from holland the settlement on increasing in magnitude and prosperity the neighbouring indians in a short time became accustomed to the uncouth sound of the x language and an intercourse gradually took place between them and the new comers the indians were much given to long talks and the dutch to long silence in this particular therefore they each other completely the chiefs would make long speeches about the big bull the and the great spirit to which the others would listen very attentively smoke their pipes and her the poor savages were delighted they weight of a s foot instructed the new in the best art o and smoking tobacco while the latter ii return made them drunk with true and then learned them the art of making a brisk trade for was soon opened th dutch were honest in dealings and purchased by weight establishing i as an invariable table of that hand of a weighed one pound and hi foot two pounds it is true the simple indian were often puzzled by the great bi bulk and weight for let them place a of never so large in one scale and a man put his hand or foot in the other th bundle was sure to kick the beam never was of known to weigh more than pounds in the market of this is a singular fact but i have it from my great great grandfather who had risen t considerable importance in the colony being to the office of weigh master on account c the uncommon of his foot the dutch possessions in this part of the began now to assume a very appearance and were comprehended under the general title c on account as the sage der of their great resemblance t the dutch which indeed was remarkable excepting that the former were rug and and	48
of his dress in fact the small clothes seems to have been a very important garment in the eyes of our ancestors owing in all probability to its really being the largest article of among them the name of ten or tin is indifferently translated into ten breeches and tin breeches the high dutch incline to the former opinion and it to his being the first who introduced into the settlement the ancient dutch fashion of wearing ten pair of breeches but the most elegant and ingenious writers on the subject declare in favour of tin or rather thin breeches from whence they infer that he was a poor but merry whose were none of the van a prophet est and who was the identical author of that truly philosophical then why should we quarrel for or any such glittering toys a light heart and thin pair of breeches will go through the world my brave boys j such was the gallant chosen to conduct this voyage into unknown and the whole was put under the care and direction of van who was held it great reverence among the of for the variety and darkness of his knowledge having as i before observed passed a great of his life in the open air among the philosophers of he had become well acquainted with the aspect of the heavens and could as accurately determine when a storm was or a rising as a dutiful husband can foresee from the brow of his when a tempest is gathering about his ears he was moreover a great of ghosts and and a firm in but what especially recommended him to public confidence was his marvellous talent at dreaming for there never was any thing of consequence happened at but what he declared he had previously it being one of those who always events after they have come to pass this supernatural gift was as highly valued many benefits of sleep ll among the of as it was among the enlightened nations of antiquity the wise was more indebted to his sleeping than his waking moments for all his subtle achievements and seldom undertook any great without first soundly sleeping upon it and the same may truly be said of the good van ho was thence the this cautious commander having chosen the that should accompany him in the proposed expedition them to repair to their homes take a good night s rest settle all family affairs and make their wills before departing on this voyage into unknown and indeed this last was a precaution always taken by our forefathers even in after times when they became more adventurous and to or or or any other far country that lay beyond the great waters of the golden clouds and tin chapter iv h m the heroes of to hell and they received there and now the rosy blush of began to mantle in the east and soon the rising emerging from amidst golden and purple clouds shed his rays on the tin of it was that delicious season of the year when nature breaking from the of old winter like a blooming from the tyranny of a sordid old father threw herself blushing with ten thousand charms into the arms of youthful spring every and blooming grove with the notes of love the very insects as they the dew that the tender grass of the meadows joined in the joyous the virgin bud timidly put forth its the voice of the was heard in the land and the heart of man dissolved away in tenderness oh sweet had i thine reed wherewith thou charm the gay plains or oh gentle thy pastoral pipe wherein the happy of the isle so much delighted then might i attempt to sing in soft the expedition or the rural beauties of the scene but having nothing save this goose wherewith to wing my flight i must in resign all poetic of the fancy and pursue my narrative in humble prose comforting with the hope that though it may not steal so sweetly upon the imagination of my reader yet may it commend itself with virgin modesty to his better judgment clothed in the and simple garb of truth no sooner did the first rays of cheerful art into the windows of than the little settlement was all in motion forth issued fi om his castle the sage van and seizing shell blew a far blast that soon summoned all his followers then did resolutely down to the water side escorted by a multitude of relatives and friends ho all went down as the common phrase expresses it to see them off and this shows the antiquity f those long family often seen in our ity composed of all ages sizes and sexes laden with bundles and some f country cousins about to depart for home in a market boat the good bestowed his forces in a of three and hoisted his flag on board h round dutch boat shaped not unlike a tub x hich had formerly been the jolly boat of the and now all being embarked t hey bid farewell to the gazing throng upon the origin of two islands beach who continued shouting after them even when out of hearing wishing them a happy voyage them to take good care of themselves not to get drowned with an abundance other of those sage and invaluable generally given by to such as go down to the sea in ships and adventure upon the deep waters in the mean while the cheerily urged their course across the crystal bosom of the bay and soon left behind them the green shores of ancient and first they touched at two small islands which lie nearly opposite and which are said to have been brought into existence about the time of the great of the when it broke through the and made its way	48
to the ocean for in this tremendous uproar of the waters we are told that many huge fragments of rock and land were rent from the mountains and swept down by this river for sixty it is a matter long since established by certain of our philosophers that is to say having been advanced and never contradicted it has grown to be pretty nigh equal to a settled fact that the was originally a lake up by the mountains of the in process of time however becoming very mighty and and the mountains and weak in the back by reason of their extreme old age it suddenly rose upon them and after a violent struggle effected its escape this is said to have come to pass in very remote time probably before that rivers had lost the art of running up hill the foregoing is a theory in which i do not pretend to be skilled notwithstanding that i do fully give it my belief an omen or seventy miles where some of them ran on the just opposite and formed the identical islands in question while others drifted out to sea and were never heard of more a sufficient proof of the fact is that the rock which forms the of these islands is exactly similar to that of the and moreover one of our philosophers who has diligently compared the agreement of their respective has even gone so far as to assure me in confidence that island was originally nothing more nor less than a on s nose leaving these wonderful little they next by governor s island since terrible from its frowning fortress and grinning they would by no means however land upon this island since they doubted much it might be the abode of and spirits which in those days did greatly abound throughout this savage and pagan country just at this time a of jolly came rolling and tumbling by turning up their sleek sides to the sun and up the element in sparkling showers no sooner did the sage mark this than he was greatly rejoiced this exclaimed he if i mistake not well the is a fat well fish among fishes his looks se plenty and prosperity i greatly admire this a in the a party of natives round fat fish and doubt not but this is a happy omen of the success of our undertaking so saying he directed his to steer in the track of these fishes turning therefore directly to the left they swept up the strait called the east river and here the rapid tide which courses through this strait seizing on the gallant tub in which van had embarked hurried it forward with a in a dutch boat by that the good who had all his life long been accustomed only to the drowsy of was more than ever convinced that they were in the hands of some supernatural power and that the jolly were them to some fair haven that was to fulfil all their wishes and expectations thus borne away by the current they doubled that boisterous point of land since called s hook and leaving to the right the rich winding of the they drifted into a magnificent expanse of water surrounded by pleasant shores whose was exceedingly refreshing to the eye while the were looking around them on what they conceived to be a serene and sunny lake they beheld at a distance a crew of painted savages busily employed in fishing who seemed more like the of this properly i e a point of land of romantic region their slender balanced like a feather on the surface of the bay at sight of these the hearts of the heroes of were not a little troubled but as good fortune would have it at the bow of the s boat was stationed a very man named which being interpreted me is chicken a name given him in token of his courage no sooner did he behold these than he trembled with excessive and although a good half mile distant he seized a that lay at hand and turning away his head fired it most in the face of the blessed sun the weapon and gave the an kick that laid him prostrate with uplifted heels in the bottom of the boat but such was the effect of this tremendous fire that the wild men of the woods struck with consternation seized hastily upon their and shot away into one of the deep of the long island shore this signal victory gave new spirits to the hardy and in honour of the achievement they gave the name of the to the surrounding bay and it has continued to be called s bay from that time to the present the heart of the good van who having no land of his own was a great admirer of other people s expanded at the prospect of rich unsettled country around him and falling into a delicious reverie he straightway began to riot in the origin of a family possession of vast meadows of salt marsh and interminable patches of from this vision he was all at once awakened by the sudden turning of the tide which would soon have hurried him from this land of promise had not the discreet given signal to steer for shore where they accordingly landed hard by the rocky heights of that happy retreat where our jolly eat for the good of the city and the that are sacrificed on here seated on the green by the side of a small stream that ran sparkling among the grass they refreshed themselves after the toils of the seas by on the ample stores which they had provided for this perilous voyage thus having well fortified their powers they fell into an earnest consultation what was further to be done this was the first council	48
dinner ever eaten at by christian and here as tradition relates did the great family between the and the which afterwards had a singular influence on the building of the city the sturdy whose eyes had been delighted with the salt that spread their along the coast at the bottom of s bay by all means to return thither and found the intended city this was opposed by the ten and many arguments passed between them the particulars of this have not reached us effects of tough breeches wrath is ever to be lamented this much is certain that the sage put an end to the dispute by to explore still further in the route which the mysterious had so clearly pointed out whereupon the sturdy tough breeches abandoned the expedition took possession of a hill and in a fit of great wrath peopled all that tract of country which has continued to be inhabited by the unto this very day by this time the jolly like some wanton sporting on the side of a green hill began to roll down the of the heavens and now the tide having once more turned in their favour the resolute again committed themselves to its discretion and along the western were borne towards the straits of black island and here the capricious wanderings of the cur rent occasioned not a little marvel and perplexity to these illustrious now would they be caught by the wanton and sweeping a point would wind deep into some romantic little that the fair island of j now were they hurried narrowly by the very basis of impending rocks with the vine and crowned with groves that threw a broad shade on the waves beneath j and anon they were borne away into the and along with a rapidity that very much the sage van who as he saw the land swiftly receding on either s the expedition proceeds side began exceedingly to doubt that was giving them the slip wherever the turned their eyes a new creation seemed to bloom around no signs of human appeared to check the delicious of nature who here in all her luxuriant variety those hills now like the with rows of vain plants of wealth and fashion were then adorned with the vigorous natives of the soil the oak the generous chestnut the graceful elm while here and there the tree reared his majestic head the giant of the forest where now are seen the gay of luxury half buried in twilight whence the oft breathes the of some city there the fish hawk built his solitary nest on some dry tree that overlooked his watery domain the timid deer fed undisturbed along those shores now by the lover s moonlight walk and printed by the slender foot of beauty and a savage solitude extended over those happy regions where now are reared the stately towers of the jones s the and the thus gliding in silent wonder through these new and unknown scenes the gallant of swept by the foot of a that forth boldly into the waves and seemed to frown upon them as they against its base this is the bluff well known to modem by the name of s point from the through a delightful country air castle which like an elephant it carries upon its back and here broke upon their view a wild and varied prospect where land and water were as though they had combined to and set off each other s charms to the right lay the point of black island dressed in the fresh of living green beyond it stretched the pleasant coast of and the small harbour well known by the name of s a place infamous in latter days by reason of its being the haunt of who these seas and water patches and insulting gentlemen when in their pleasure boats to the left a deep bay or rather creek gracefully between shores fringed with forests and forming a kind of vista through which were beheld the regions of and east here the eye with delight on a richly wooded country by shadowy intervals and waving lines of swelling above each other while over the whole the purple mists of spring a hue of soft just before them the grand course of the stream making a sudden bend wound among and shores of that seemed to melt into the wave a character of gentleness and mild prevailed around the sun had just descended and the thin haze of twilight like a transparent veil drawn over the a sudden disaster bosom of virgin beauty heightened the charm which it half concealed ah scenes of foul delusion ah gazing with simple wonder or these shores such alas are they easy souls who listen to the of a wicked world treacherous are its smiles fatal its caresses he who to its upon a tide and hia feeble bark among the of a and thus it with the of who little the scene before them drifted quietly on until they were aroused by an uncommon tossing and agitation of their vessels for now the late current began to around them and the waves to boil and foam with fury awakened as if from a dream the astonished aloud to put about but his words were lost amid the roaring of the waters and now ensued a scene of consternation at one time they were borne with dreadful among tumultuous at another hurried down boisterous now they were nearly dashed upon the hen and chickens infamous rocks more than and her and anon they seemed sinking into yawning that threatened to them beneath the waves all the elements combined to produce a hideous confusion the waters raged the winds howled and as they were the in the pot along several of the astonished beheld the rocks and trees of the neighbouring shores	48
driving through the air at length the mighty tub of van was drawn into the of that called the pot where it was about in giddy until the senses of the good commander and his crew were overpowered by the horror of the scene and the strangeness of the revolution how the gallant of was snatched from the jaws of this modern has never been truly made known for so many survived to tell the tale and what is still more wonderful told it in so many different ways that there has ever prevailed a great variety of opinions on the subject as to the and his crew when they came to their senses they found themselves on the long island shore the worthy indeed used to relate many and wonderful stories of his adventures in this time of peril how that he saw flying in the air and heard the yelling of and put his hand into the pot when they were whirled around and found the water hot and beheld several uncouth looking beings seated on rocks and it with huge but particularly he declared with great exultation that he saw the which had betrayed them into this peril some on the and others hissing in the pan these however were considered by many as k the devil at hell gate mere of the s imagination while he lay in a trance especially as he was known to be given to dreaming and the truth of them has never been clearly ascertained it is certain however that to the accounts of and his followers may be traced the various traditions handed down of this marvellous as how the devil has been seen there sitting of the s back and playing on the fiddle how he fish there before a storm and many other stories in which we must be cautious of putting too much faith in consequence of all these terrific circumstances the commander gave this pass the name of or as it has been interpreted hell gate which it continues to bear at the present day this is a narrow strait in the sound at the distance df six miles above new york it is dangerous to shipping unless under the care of skilful by reason of numerous rocks shelves and these have received sundry such as the s back pot c and are very violent and turbulent at certain times of tide certain wise men who instruct these modem days have softened the above characteristic name into hurt gate which means nothing i leave them to give their own the name as given by our author is supported by the map in s history published in by s history of america i i as also by a journal still written in the th century and to be found in hazard s state papers and an old ms written in french speaking of various alterations in names about this city de d ont hell gate d the dispersed chapter v o the heroes of returned somewhat wiser than und how the sage dreamed a dream and the dream that he dreamed the darkness of night had closed upon this disastrous day and a night was it to the whose ears were incessantly assailed with the raging of the elements and the howling of the that this strait but when the morning dawned the horrors of the preceding evening had passed away and had disappeared the stream again ran smooth and and changed its tide rolled gently back towards the quarter where lay their much regretted home the wo heroes of eyed each other with countenances their had been totally dispersed by the late disaster some were cast upon the western shore where headed by one they took possession of all the country lying about the six mile stone which is held by the at this present writing the were driven by stress of weather to a distant coast where having with them a of genuine they were enabled to the savages setting up a kind of tavern from k ten sure life whence it is said did spring the fair town of in which their descendants have ever since continued to be as to the they were thrown upon the long island coast and may still be found in those parts but the most singular luck attended the great ten who falling overboard was preserved from sinking by the multitude of his garments thus up he floated on the waves like a until he landed safely on a rock where he was found the next morning busily drying his many breeches in the sunshine i forbear to treat of the long consultation of our how they determined that it would not do to found a city in this neighbourhood and how at length with fear and trembling they ventured once more upon the element and their course back for suffice it in simple to say that after toiling back through the scenes of their yesterday s voyage they at length opened the southern point of and gained a distant view of their beloved and here they were opposed by an obstinate that resisted all the efforts of the exhausted weary and they could no longer make head against the power of the tide or rather as some will have it of old who anxious to guide them to a spot whereon should be founded his strong hold in this western world sent half a score of potent that rolled the effects of a meal tub of van high and dry on the shores of having thus in a manner been guided by supernatural power to this delightful island their first care was to light a fire at the foot of a large tree that stood upon the point at present called the battery then gathering together great store of which on the shore and the contents of their they prepared	48
and made a council the worthy van was observed to be particularly zealous in his to the for having the cares of the expedition especially committed to his care he deemed it incumbent on him to e t profoundly for the public good in tion as he filled himself to the very brim with the dainty before him did the heart of this excellent rise up towards his throat until he seemed crammed and almost with good eating and good nature and at such times it is when a man s heart is in his throat that he may more truly be said to speak from it and his speeches abound with kindness and good fellowship thus the worthy having swallowed the last morsel and washed it down with a fervent felt his heart yearning and his whole frame in a manner with unbounded benevolence every thing around him seemed excellent and delightful and laying his hands on each side of his and rolling his half closed eyes around on the beautiful of land and water before him he exclaimed in a van s dream fat half smothered voice what a charming prospect the words died away in his throat he seemed to on the fair scene for a moment his eyelids heavily closed over their his head drooped upon his bosom he slowly sunk upon the green turf and a deep sleep stole gradually upon him and the sage dreamed a dream and lo the good st came riding over the tops of the trees in that self same wherein he brings his yearly presents to children and he came and descended hard by where the heroes of had made their late and the shrewd van knew him by his broad hat his long pipe and the resemblance which he bore to the figure on the bow of the and he lit his pipe by the fire and sat himself down and smoked and as he smoked the smoke from his pipe ascended into the air and spread like a cloud over head and him and he hastened and climbed up to the top of one of the trees and saw that the smoke spread over a great extent of country and as he considered it more attentively he fancied that the great volume of smoke assumed a variety of marvellous forms where in dim obscurity he saw out palaces and and lofty all which lasted but a moment and then faded away until the whole rolled off and nothing but the green woods were left and when st had smoked his he twisted it in his and laying his finger beside his nose gave the astonished van its interpretation a very significant look then mounting his he returned over the tree tops and disappeared and van awoke from his sleep greatly instructed and he aroused his companions and related to them his dream and interpreted it that it was the will of st that they should settle down and build the city here and that the smoke of the pipe was a type how vast should be the extent of the city inasmuch as the volumes of its smoke should spread over a wide extent of country and they all with voice assented to this interpretation excepting who declared the meaning to be that it should be a city wherein a little fire should occasion a great smoke or in other words a very little city both which have strangely come to pass the great object of their perilous expedition therefore being thus happily accomplished the returned merrily to where they were received with great and here calling a general meeting of all the wise men and the of they related the whole history of their voyage and of the dream of van and the people lifted up their voices and blessed the good st and from that time forth the sage van was held in more honour than ever for his great talent at dreaming and was pronounced a most useful citizen and a right good man when he was asleep an attempt at the chapter vi containing an attempt at and of the of the great city of the original name of the island wherein the of was thus thrown is a matter of some dispute and has already undergone considerable a melancholy proof of the of all things and the vanity of all our hopes of lasting fame for who can expect his name will live to posterity when even the names of mighty islands are thus soon lost in contradiction and uncertainty the name most current at the present day and which is likewise by the great historian is which is said to have originated in a custom among the in the early settlement of wearing men s hats as is still done among many tribes hence as we are told by an old governor who was somewhat of a wag and flourished almost a century since and had paid a visit to the wits of philadelphia hence arose the of on first given to the indians and afterwards to the island a stupid joke but well enough for a governor among the more venerable sources of information on this subject is that valuable history of the of name s american possessions written by master richard in i wherein it is called and nor must i forget the excellent little book full of precious matter of that historian john who expressly calls it another still more ancient and by the countenance of our ever to be lamented dutch ancestors is that found in certain letters still which passed between the early and their neighbouring powers wherein it is called indifferently and which are evidently unimportant variations of the same name for our wise forefathers set little store by those either in or which form the sole study and ambition of many	48
learned men and women of this age this last name is said to be derived from the great indian spirit who was supposed to make this island his favourite abode on account of its uncommon delights for the indian traditions affirm that the bay was once a lake filled with silver and golden fish in the midst of which lay this beautiful island covered with every variety of fruits and flowers but that the sudden of the laid waste these scenes and took his flight beyond the great of hazard s col from these however are legends to very cautious must be given and although i am willing to admit the last quoted of the name as very suitable for prose yet is there another one founded on still more ancient and authority which i particularly delight in seeing that it is at once poetical melodious and significant and this is recorded in the before mentioned voyage of the great written by master who clearly and correctly calls it that is to say the island of or in other words a land flowing with milk and honey it having been solemnly resolved that the seat of empire should be transferred from the green shores of to this island a vast multitude embarked and across the mouth of the under the guidance of the who was appointed protector or to the new settlement and here let me bear testimony to the honesty and of our worthy forefathers who purchased the soil of the native indians before a single roof j a circumstance singular and almost incredible in the annals of discovery and the first settlement was made on the south est point of the island on the very spot where the good st had appeared in the dream here they built a mighty and fort and trading house called fort which to a new settlement on that eminence at present occupied by the custom house with the open space now called the green in front around this potent fortress was soon seen a numerous of little dutch houses with roofs all which seemed most lovingly to under its walls like a brood of half chickens sheltered under the wings of the mother hen the whole was surrounded by an of strong to guard against any sudden of the savages who wandered in about the and forests that extended over those tracts of country at present called wall street william street and pearl street no sooner was the colony once planted than it took root and for it would seem that this thrice favoured island is like a where every foreign weed finds kindly nourishment and soon shoots up and to greatness and now the infant settlement having advanced in age and stature it was thought high time it should receive an honest christian name and it was accordingly called new it is true there were some for the original indian name and many of the best writers of the province did long continue to call it by the title of the but this was by the authorities as being and savage besides it was considered an excellent and measure to name it after a great breaks out between city of the old world as by that means it was in to the greatness and renown of it in the manner that little are called after great saints and and renowned of upon which they all copy their examples and come to be very mighty men in their day and generation the state of the settlement and the rapid increase of houses gradually awakened the good from a deep into which he had fallen after the building of the fort he now began to think it was time some plan should be devised on which the increasing town should be built therefore his and together they took pipe in mouth and forthwith sunk into a very sound deliberation on the subject at the very outset of the business an unexpected difference of opinion arose and i mention it with much as being the first on record in the of new it was a breaking forth of the grudge and that had existed between those two eminent and ever since their unhappy on the coast of the great had very wealthy and powerful from his which embraced the whole chain of mountains that stretch along the gulf of s bay and from part of which his descendants have been ex tough breeches and ten in latter ages by the powerful of the jones s and the an ingenious plan for the city was offered by who proposed that it should be cut up and by after the manner of the most admired cities in holland to this was opposed suggesting in place thereof that they should run out and by means of piles driven into the bottom of the river on which the town should be built by these means said he triumphantly shall we rescue a considerable space of territory from these immense rivers and build a city that shall rival or any city in europe to this proposition ten or ten breeches replied with a look of as much scorn as he could possibly assume he cast the utmost censure upon the plan of his as being preposterous and against the very order of things as he would leave to every true for what said he is a town without it is like a body without veins and and must perish for want of a free circulation of the vital tough breeches an the contrary retorted with a sarcasm upon his who was somewhat of an arid dry habit he remarked that as to the circulation of the blood being necessary to existence ten breeches was a living contradiction to his own assertion for every body knew there had not a drop of blood tough breeches has the best bottom through his wind dried	48
for good ten yet there was not a greater busy body in the whole colony have seldom much effect in making in argument nor have ever seen a man convinced of error by being convicted of at least such was not the case at present ten breeches was very in reply and tough breeches who was a sturdy little man and never gave up the last word rejoined with increasing spirit ten breeches had the advantage of the greatest but tough breeches had that invaluable coat of mail in argument called obstinacy ten breeches had therefore the most but tough breeches the best bottom so that though ten breeches made a dreadful about his ears and battered and him with hard words and sound arguments yet tough breeches hung on most resolutely to the last they parted therefore as is usual in all arguments where both parties are in the right without coming to any conclusion but they hated each other most heartily for ever after and a similar breach with that between the houses of and did between the families of ten breeches and tough breeches i would not fatigue my reader with these dull matters of fact but that my duty as a faithful historian requires that i should be particular and in truth as i am now treating of the critical period when our city like a young first received the extract from the records and turns that have since contributed to give it the present picturesque for w it is celebrated i cannot be too minute in their first causes after the unhappy i have just mentioned i do not find that any thing further was said on the subject worthy of being recorded the council consisting of the largest and oldest heads in the community met regularly once a week to on this momentous subject but either they were by the war of words they had or they were naturally averse to the exercise of the tongue and the consequent exercise of the brains certain it is the most profound silence was maintained the question as usual lay on the table the members quietly smoked their pipes making but few laws without ever any and in the mean time the affairs of the settlement went on as it pleased god as most of the council were but little skilled in the mystery of pot hooks and they determined most not to puzzle either themselves or posterity with records the secretary however kept the minutes of the council with tolerable precision in a large fastened with brass the journal of each meeting consisted but of two lines stating in dutch that the council sat this day and smoked twelve pipes on the affairs of the colony by which it appears that the first did not their time by hours but growth of the town pipes in the same manner as they measure di in holland at this very time an exact as a pipe in the mouth of t true born is never liable to accidents and that are continual putting our out of order in this manner did the profound council of new smoke and and week to week month to month and year to year in what manner they should their mean while the town took care o itself and like a sturdy which is suffered t run about wild by and and other by which your nurses and sage old women and the children of men increased so rapidly ii strength and magnitude that before the had determined upon a plan it wa too late to put it in execution whereupon thej wisely abandoned the subject altogether the city great chapter vii the city of new great y under the protect the there is something exceedingly in thus looking back through the long vista of departed years and catching a glimpse of the fairy of antiquity that lie beyond like some goodly landscape melting into distance they receive a thousand charms from their very obscurity and the fancy delights to fill up their outlines with graces and of its own creation thus beam on my imagination those happier days of our city as yet new was a mere pastoral town in groves of and and surrounded by forests and wide spreading waters that seemed to shut out all the cares and of a wicked world in those days did this city present the x are and noble spectacle of a community governed without laws and thus being left to its own course care of providence increased as as though it had been with a do en full of those sage laws that are usually on the backs of young cities in order to make them grow and in this particular i greatly admire the wisdom and sound knowledge ot laws of human nature displayed by the sage th and his fellow for my par i have not so bad an opinion of mankind as man of my brother philosophers i do not think human nature so sorry a of a they would make it out to be and as far as i hav observed i am fully satisfied that man if left would about as readily go right as it is only this sounding in his l is his duty to go rights that makes go the reverse the noble independence of his at this intolerable tyranny of law th interference of morality is ever his path with finger j and di to keep to the tight the la w and like a spirited he turns con arid and mire eve hedges and merely to show that he is a f spirit and out of his leading and ns are amply l by what i hav said of our worthy ancestors being he preached arid and guided ai by and laws md by laws as an more enlightened descendants did	48
one a au honestly and of pure ignorance dr in other words knew no better nor must i omit to record one of the earliest measures of this in nt settlement inasmuch m it the piety o our forefathers and that they were always ready to the op t god they had first served themselves thus having quietly settled themselves down and provided for their own comfort they themselves of their gratitude to the great and good st for his protecting care in guiding them to this abode to this end they built a fair and goodly chapel within the fort which they consecrated to his name whereupon he immediately took the town of new under his peculiar patronage and he has ever since been and i devoutly hope will ever be the saint of this excellent city i am moreover told that there is a little book somewhere written in low dutch which says that the image of this renowned saint the of the was elevated in front of this chapel in the yery centre of what in modern days is called the green and the legend further treats of divers miracles wrought by the mighty pipe which the saint held in his mouth j a of which was a sovereign cure for an an invaluable in this colony of brave as however in spite of the most search i cannot lay my hands upon this little book i must confess that i entertain considerable doubt on the subject thus by the good st the of new beheld their settlement increase in magnitude aad and soon become the metropolis of divers of the colony and an extensive territory already had the disastrous pride of colonies and those of a sound hearted empire entered into their and fort on the fort on the and fort on the river seemed to be the darling offspring of the venerable council thus to all appearance did the province of new advance in power and the early history of its metropolis presents a fair page by crime or calamity of painted savages still about the tangled forests and rich of the unsettled part of the island the hunter pitched his rude bower of skins and bark beside the that ran through the cool and shady while here and there might be seen on some sunny a group of indian whose smoke arose above the neighbouring trees and floated in the transparent atmosphere by degrees a mutual had the province about this time extended on the north to fort or orange now the city of situated about miles up the river indeed the province claimed quite to the river st but this claim was not much insisted on at the time as the country beyond fort was a perfect wilderness on the south the province reached to fort on the south river since the and on the east it extended to or fresh now the on this last frontier was likewise a fort and trading house much about the spot where at present is situated the pleasant town of this was called fort or good hope and was intended as well for the purpose of trade as of defence savages domestic grown up between these wandering beings and the of new our benevolent forefathers endeavoured as much as possible to their situation by giving them gin rum and glass beads in exchange for their for it seems the kind hearted had conceived a great friendship for their savage neighbours on account of their being pleasant men to trade with and little skilled in the art of making a bargain now and then a crew of these half human sons of the forest make their appearance in the streets of new painted and decorated with beads and feathers about with an air of indifference sometimes in the market place the little dutch boys in the use of the bow and arrow at other times with liquor and and yelling about the town like so many to the great dismay of all the good wives who would hurry their children into the house fasten the doors and throw water upon the enemy from the garret windows it is worthy of mention here that our forefathers were very particular in holding up these wild men as excellent domestic examples and for reasons that may be gathered from the history of master who tells us that for the least offence the bridegroom soundly beats his wife and turns her out of doors and another that some of them have every year a new wife whether this awful example ht grandmother s war had any influence or not history does not mention but it is certain that our were miracles of fidelity and obedience true it is that the good understanding between our ancestors and their savage neighbours was liable to occasional and i have heard my grandmother who was a very wise old woman and well in the history of these parts tell a long story of a winter s evening about a battle between the new and the indians which was known by the name of the wary and which took place near a orchard in a dark which for a long while went by the name of murderer s valley the legend of this war was long current among the nurses old wives and other ancient of the place but time and improvement have almost both the and the scene of battle for what was once the blood stained valley is now in the centre of this city and known by the name of the wealth and consequence of new and its at length awakened the tender solicitude of the mother country who finding it a and colony and that it promised to yield great profit and no trouble all at once became wonderfully anxious about its safety and began to load it with tokens of regard in the	48
same manner that your knowing people are sure to rich relations with their and loving a governor the usual marks of protection shown by mother countries to wealthy colonies were forthwith manifested the first care ways being to send rulers to the new settlement with orders to squeeze as much from it as it will yield accordingly in the year of our lord van was appointed governor of the province of under the commission and control of their high the lords states general of the united and the privileged west in i company this r old arrived at new in the merry month of june the sweetest month in all the year when dan seems to dance up the transparent when the robin the and a thousand other wanton make the woods to with and the luxurious little among the blossoms of the meadows all which happy persuaded the old of new who were skilled in the art of events that this was to be a happy and prosperous but as it would be to the consequence of the first dutch governor of the great of to be thus introduced at the end of a chapter i put an end to this second book of my history that i may him in with more dignity in the beginning of my next book iii in which recorded the golden reign of van chapter i of the renowned van his his unutterable in the case of and and the great admiration of the public grievous and very much to be is the task of the feeling historian who writes the history of his native land if it fall to his lot to be the sad of calamity or crime the mournful page is watered with his tears nor can he recall the most prosperous and era a melancholy sigh at the reflection that it has passed away for ever i know not whether it be owing to an love for the simplicity of former times or to that certain tenderness of heart incident to all sentimental but i candidly confess that i cannot look back on the happier d of our city which i now describe without a sad of the spirits with a faltering hand do i withdraw the of oblivion that the modest merit of our melancholy reflections ancestors and as their figures rise to my mental vision humble myself before the mighty shades such are my feelings when i the family mansion of the and spend a lonely hour in the chamber where hang the portraits of my forefathers in dust like the forms they represent with pious reverence do i gaze on the countenances of those renowned who have preceded me in the steady of existence whose sober and temperate blood now through my veins flowing slower and slower in its feeble until its current shall soon be stopped for ever these say i to myself are but frail of the mighty men who flourished in the days of the but who alas have long since in that tomb towards which my steps are and irresistibly hastening as i pace the darkened chamber and lose myself in melancholy the shadowy images around me almost seem to steal once more into existence their countenances to assume the animation of life their eyes to pursue me in every movement carried away by the of fancy i almost imagine myself surrounded by the shades of the departed and holding sweet converse with the of antiquity ah born in a age abandoned to the of fortune a stranger and a weary pilgrim in thy native land with no weeping wife nor family of helpless children but doomed to governor van wander neglected through those crowded streets and by foreign from those where once thine ancestors held empire let me not however lose the historian in th man nor suffer the recollections of age overcome me while dwelling with fond on the virtuous days of the on s sweet days of simplicity and ease which v more will dawn on the lovely island of the renowned or walter van was descended from a long line of dutch who had away lives and grown fat upon the bench of in and who had with such singular wisdom and propriety that thej were never either heard or talked of which n to being universally applauded should be the ob of ambition of all sage and i b i his of is said to be a of the original which in means a name descriptive ot his habits for though he was a man shut up within himself like an and of a profoundly turn that he scarcely ev r spoke except in yet did he never make up his mind on any doubtful point this was clearly accounted for by his who affirmed that he always conceived every subject on so comprehensive a scale that he had not room in his head to turn it over and examine both sides hid of it that he always remained in doubt merely in consequence of the astonishing magnitude of his ideas there are two opposite ways by which some get into notice one by talking a vast deal and thinking a little and the other by holding their tongues and not thinking at all by the first many a superficial the reputation of a man of quick parts y the other many a vacant like the owl the of birds comes to be by a world with all the attributes of wisdom this by the wa y is a mere casual remark which i would not for the universe it thought i apply to governor van on the contrary he was a very wise for he never said a foolish thing and of such invincible gravity that he was never known to laugh or even to smile through the course	48
of a long and prosperous life certain however it is there never was a matter proposed however simple and on which your common narrow minded mortals would determine at the first glance but what the renowned put on a mighty mysterious vacant kind of look shook his head and having smoked for five minutes with earnestness observed that he had his doubts about the matter which in process of time gained him the character of a man low of belief and not easily imposed on the person of this illustrious old gentleman was mis person as regularly formed and nobly as though it had been by the hands of some cunning dutch as a model of majesty and grandeur he was exactly five feet six inches in height and six feet five inches in his head was a perfect sphere and of such dimensions that dame nature with all her sex s ingenuity would hav been puzzled to a neck capable of sup it wherefore she wisely declined the at tempt and settled it firmly on the top of his bone just between the shoulders his body wa of an form particularly at tom which was wisely ordered by providence seeing that he was a man of habits very averse to the idle labour of walking hi legs though exceeding short were sturdy in portion to the weight they had to sustain so that when erect he had not a little the appearance o a beer barrel standing on his face that index of the mind presented a vast expanse perfectly or by any of those lines and angles which the n countenance with what is termed expression two small gray eyes feebly in the midst like two stars of lesser magnitude in a and his full fed cheeks which seemed to have taken toll of every thing that went into his mouth were curiously and with dusky red like a and his habits were as regular as his person he daily took his four stated meals exactly an hour to each he smoked and doubted eight hours and he slept the remaining twelve of the four and twenty such was the renowned van a true philosopher for his mind was either elevated above or settled below the cares and of this world he had lived in it for years without feeling the least curiosity to know whether the sun round it or it round the sun and he had watched for at least half a century the smoke curling from his pipe to the ceiling without once troubling his with any of those numerous theories by which a philosopher would have perplexed his brain in for its rising above the surrounding atmosphere in his council he presided with great state and solemnity he sat in a huge chair of solid oak in the celebrated forest of the by an experienced of and curiously carved about the arms and feet into exact of gigantic eagle s claws instead of a he swayed a long pipe wrought with and which had been presented to a of holland at the conclusion of a treaty with one of the petty powers in this stately chair would he sit and this magnificent pipe would he smoke shaking his right knee with a constant motion and fixing his eye for hours together upon j his in the council a little print of which hung in a against the opposite wall of the nay it has even been said that any deliberation of extraordinary length and was on the carpet the renowned would absolutely shut his eyes for full two hours at a time that he might not be disturbed by external objects and at such times the commotion of his mind was evinced by certain regular sounds which his admirers declared were merely the noise of conflict made by his doubts and opinions it is with infinite i have been enabled to collect these anecdotes of the man under consideration the facts respecting him were so scattered and vague and divers of them so questionable in point of that i have had to give up the search after many and decline the admission of still more which would have tended to the colouring of hi portrait i have been the more anxious to the person and habits of the renowned van from the consideration that he was not only tl first but also the best governor that ever over this ancient and respectable province an so tranquil and benevolent was his reign do not find throughout the whole of it a single instance of any being brought to ment a most sign of a a case ui ting in th ca i of v d reign of the illustrious king log from whom it ib the renowned van was a the very outset of the career of this excellent was distinguished by an example of l al that gave flattering of a wise and administration the morning he had been solemnly in office and at the moment that he was making his breakfast firom a prodigious dish filled with milk and indian he was suddenly interrupted by the appearance of one a very important old of new ho complained bitterly of one inasmuch as he refused to come to a settlement of accounts seeing that there was a heavy balance in favour of the said governor van as i have already observed was a man of few words he was likewise a mortal enemy to writings or being disturbed at his breakfast having listened attentively to the statement of giving an occasional as he a of indian into his either as a sign that he the dish or comprehended the story he called unto him his and pulling out of his breeches pocket a huge jack knife despatched it after the as a summons accompanied by his tobacco box as a warrant this summary process was as	48
in those s days as seal ring of the great thb governor s sage decision among the true the two parties being confronted before him each produced a book of accounts written in a language and character that would have puzzled any but a high dutch or a learned of egyptian to understand the sage took them one after the other and having poised them in his hands and attentively counted over the number of leaves fell straightway into a very great doubt and smoked for half an hour without saying a word at length laying his finger beside his nose and shutting his eyes for a moment with the air of a man who has just caught a subtle idea by the tail he slowly took his pipe from hia mouth forth a column of tobacco and with marvellous gravity and solemnity pronounced that having carefully counted over the leaves and weighed the books it was found that one was just as thick and as heavy as the other therefore it was the final opinion of the court that the accounts were equally balanced therefore should give a receipt and should give a receipt and the should pay the costs this decision being straightway made known general joy throughout new for the people immediately perceived that they had a very wise and magistrate to rule over them but its happiest effect was that not another law suit took place throughout the whole of his administration and the office of the decision much admired l l fell into such decay that there was not one of those known in the province for many years i am the more particular in dwelling on this transaction not only because i deem it one of the most sage and righteous judgments on record and well worthy the attention of modem but because it was a miraculous event in the history of the renowned being the only time he was ever known to come to a decision in the whole course of his life m s power of thb chapter ii some account of the grand of as also divers good reasons an man should other particulars touching the state v the province is treating of the early of the pr i must caution my readers against co them in point of dignity and with those worthy gentlemen who are in this enlightened r set of unhappy victims of who are in fact the most dependent hen beings in the community doomed to bear secret and of their own part and the and of the whole beside set up like at christmas holiday to be and shot at by every vagabond in the land on the contrary the enjoyed that authority in all of distant colonies o they were in a manner absolute in their little it if sc disposed over both law and gospel and to none but the mother country which it is known is deaf to all against its provided they discharge th thb grand council l s main duty station out a good this hint will be of importance to prevent my readers from being seized with doubt and incredulity whenever in the course of this history they encounter the uncommon circumstance of a governor acting with independence and in opposition to the opinions of the multitude to assist the doubtful in the business of a board of was appointed which presided immediately over the police this potent body consisted of a or with powers between those of the present mayor and five who were equivalent to and five who as or bottle to the in the same manner as do assistant to their at the present day it being their duty to fill the pipes of the hunt the for for dinners and to discharge such other little offices of kindness as were occasionally required it was moreover understood though not that they should consider themselves as for the blunt wits of the and should laugh most heartily at all their jokes but this last was a duty as rarely called in action in those days as it is at present and was shortly in consequence of the death of a who actually died of in an m privileges of effort to force a laugh at of van s best jokes in return for these humble services they were permitted to say yes and no at the council board and to have that privilege the run of the public being graciously permitted to eat and drink and smoke at all those snug and public for which the ancient were equally famous with their modem the post of therefore like that of assistant was eagerly by all your of a certain description who have a huge relish for good feeding and an humble ambition to be great men in a small way who thirst after a little brief authority that shall render them the terror of the and the that shall enable them to lord it over poverty vice outcast and hunger driven that shall give to their a hound like pack of catch poles and bum greater than the they hunt down my readers will excuse this sudden warmth which i is of a grave historian but i have a mortal to catch poles bum and little great men the ancient of this city with those of the present time no less in form magnitude and intellect than in and privilege the like our were generally chosen by weight and not only why an should be fat l the weight of the body but likewise the weight of the head it is a practically observed in all honest plain thinking regular cities that an should be fat and the wisdom of this can be proved to a certainty that the body is in some measure an image of the mind or	48
rather that the mind is to the body like melted lead to the clay in which it is cast has been insisted on by many philosophers who have made human nature their peculiar study for as a learned gentleman of our own city there is a constant relation between the moral character of all intelligent creatures and their physical constitution r between their habits and the structure of their bodies thus we see that a lean spare body is generally accompanied by a restless the mind wears down the body by its continual motion or else the body not affording the mind sufficient house room keeps it continually in a state of tossing and worrying about from the un of its situation whereas your round sleek fat is ever attended by a mind like itself tranquil and at ease and we may always observe that your well fed are in general very of their ease and comfort j being great enemies to noise discord and disturbance and surely none are more likely to study the public tranquillity than those who are so careful of their own who ever hears of fat men heading a riot three souls together in turbulent no no it is your lean hungry men who are continually worrying society and setting the whole community by the ears the divine whose doctrines are not sufficiently attended to by philosophers of the present age allows to every man three souls one immortal and rational seated in the brain that it may overlook and the body a second consisting of the surly and passions which like powers lie around the heart a third mortal and destitute of reason gross and brutal in its and in the belly that it may not disturb the divine soul by its now according to this excellent theory what can be more clear than that your fat is most likely to have the most regular and well mind his head is like a huge chamber containing a prodigious mass of soft brains whereon the rational soul lies softly and as on a feather bed and the eyes which are the windows of the bed chamber are usually half that its may not be disturbed by external objects a mind thus comfortably lodged and protected from disturbance is most likely to perform its functions with regularity and ease by dint of good feeding moreover the mortal and malignant soul which is confined in the belly and which by its raging and roaring puts the irritable soul in the neighbour s hungry i of the heart in an intolerable passion and f renders men and when is completely silenced and put to rest whereupon a host of honest good fellow qualities and kind hearted affections which had lain peeping out of the holes of the heart finding this asleep do pluck map their spirits turn out one and all in their holiday suits and up and down the their possessor to laughter good and a thousand friendly offices towards his fellow mortals as a board of formed on this model think but very little they are the less likely to differ and about favourite opinions and as they generally business upon a hearty dinner they are naturally disposed to be and indulgent in the administration of their duties was conscious of this and therefore a pitiful measure for which i can never forgive him ordered in his that no judge should hold a court of justice except in the morning on an empty h a rule which warrant bore hard upon all the poor in liis kingdom the more enlightened and humane generation of the present day have taken an opposite course and have so managed that the are the best fed men in the community on the fat things of the land and so heartily and that in pro of time they acquire the activity of the one how to eat into office and the form the and the green fa t of th other the consequence is as i have just said these luxurious do produce such a and repose of the soul rational an that their transactions are for monotony and the profound laws which they in their moments ami the labours of are quietly t remain as dead letters and never enforced awake in a word your fair round like a full fed quietly at the house door always at home and always at hand to watch over its safety but as to a lean candidate to the office as has now and then been done i would as put a ta watch the house or a race horse to drag an x the then as i have already men r were wisely chosen by weight and the or assistant were appointed to attend upon them and help them eat but the latter in the course of time when they had been fed and into sufficient bulk of body and of brain became very eligible for the chairs having fairly eaten themselves into office as a mouse eats his way into a comfortable in a goodly blue milk new england cheese nothing could equal the profound that took place between the renowned and these his worthy unless it be the farm yard melody l a ge of some of our modern i hey would sit for hours smoking and ver public affairs without speaking a word to that perfect stillness so necessary to deep reflection under the sober sway of v an and these his worthy the settlement vigorous gradually from the and forests and that mingled appearance of town and y customary in new cities and which at this day ay be witnessed in the city of washington that metropolis which makes so glorious an appearance on paper it was a pleasing sight in those times to behold tlie honest like a of seated n the bench	48
at the door of his white washed house the shade of some gigantic or overhanging willow here would he smoke his pipe f afternoon enjoying the soft southern v and listening with silent to the of his the of his and the of his swine that of farm yard melody which may truly be said t o have a silver sound inasmuch as it a certain assurance of profitable the modern spectator who through the streets of city can scarcely form an idea of the different appearance they presented in the primitive days of the the busy hum multitudes the shouts of the of fashion the rattling of accursed carts blessings of ignorance and all the spirit sounds of commerce were unknown in the settlement of new the grass grew quietly in the the sheep and about the ridge where now the take their morning stroll tbe cunning fox or wolf in the woods where now are to be seen the of and his righteous of money and flocks of about the field where now the great and the patriotic tavern of echo with the of the mob in these good times did a true and equality of rank and property prevail equally removed from the of wealth and the and heart of poverty and what in my mind is still more to and harmony among friends a happy of intellect was likewise to be seen the minds of the good of new all to have been cast in one mould and to be those honest blunt minds which like certain are made by the s and considered as exceedingly good for use thus it happens that your true dull minds are generally preferred for public employ and especially promoted to city honours your keen like being considered too sharp for common service i know that it is common to rail at the unequal distribution of riches as the of intellect eat source tf and heart whereas for my part i verily believe it is the id of intellect that that more than any thing else and have remarked that your knowing people who re so much wiser than any body else are keeping society in a happily for nothing of the kind was known its walls the very words of learning taste and talents were unheard of a bright genius was an animal unknown and a blue lady would have been regarded with as much wonder as a or a fiery no man in fact seemed to know more than his neighbour nor any man to know more than an honest ought to know who has nobody s business to but his own the parson and the council clerk were the only men that could read in the community and the sage van always signed his name with a cross thrice happy and ever to be envied little existing in all the security of harmless unnoticed and by the world ambition without vain without riches and all their train of cares md as of in the better days of man the were wont to visit him on earth and i les his rural so we are told in the days of new the good st would often make his appearance in his beloved city of a holiday riding tranquil and happy among the tree tops or over the roofs of the houses now and then drawing forth magnificent presents from his breeches pockets and dropping them down the chimneys of his whereas in these days of iron and brass he never shows us the light of his countenance nor ever visits us save one night in the year when he down the chimneys of the descendants of the his presents merely to the children in of the of the parents such are the comfortable and of a fat government the province of the new destitute of wealth possessed a sweet tranquillity that wealth could never purchase there were neither public nor private quarrels neither parties nor nor j neither nor trials nor nor were there catch poles or every man attended to what little business he was lucky enough to have or neglected it if he pleased without asking the opinion of his neighbour in those days nobody with concerns above his comprehension nor thrust his nose into other people s nor neglected to correct his own conduct and reform his own character in his zeal to pull to pieces the characters of others but in a word every respectable citizen eat when he was not hungry drank when he was not thirsty and went regular to bed when the sun set and the fowls went to whether state of the s le were sleepy or not all which tended so y to the population of the settlement that i im told every dutiful wife throughout new made a point of her husband at least one child a year and very often a race this of good things clearly the true luxury of life according to he favourite dutch that more than a feast every thing therefore went on exactly as it should do and in the words employed by to express the welfare of a country the tranquillity ind repose reigned throughout the province manifold tastes of chapter m the town arose out and came to be polished and polite together a picture of the manners of our great great manifold are the tastes and dispositions of the enlightened who turn over the pages of history some there be whose hearts are of the of courage and whose do work and swell and foam with like a barrel of new or a train band captain fresh from under the hands of his tailor this class of readers can be satisfied with nothing but bloody battles and horrible they must be continually cities springing mines marching up to the of cannon charging through every page and in	48
and others who are of a less martial but equally ardent imagination and who withal are a little given to the marvellous will dwell with on descriptions of unheard of events hair breadth escapes hardy adventures and all those astonishing that just along the boundary line of possibility a third class who not to speak slightly of them are of lighter turn and over the records of pas horrible ed times as they do over the pages of a novel j for and innocent amusement do singularly delight in and all the other catalogue of hideous crimes that like in do give a and to the dull detail of while a fourth class of more philosophic habits do generally pore over the of time to investigate the operations of the human mind and watch the gradual changes in men and manners effected by the progress of knowledge the of events or the influence of situation if the three first classes find but little to solace themselves in the tranquil reign of van i entreat them to exert their patience for a while and bear tedious picture of happiness prosperity and peace which my duty as a faithful historian me to draw and i promise them that as soon as i can possibly upon any thing horrible uncommon or impossible it shall go hard but i will make it afford them entertainment this being i turn with great complacency to the fourth class of my readers who are men or if possible women after my own heart grave philosophical and of characters of taking a start from first causes and so hunting a nation down through all the of and improvement such will naturally be anxious to witness the first development of the newly patriotism op the cows colony and the primitive manners and customs among its inhabitants during the reign of van or the i will not grieve their patience however by describing the increase and improvement of new their own will doubtless present to them the good like so many pains taking and slowly and surely pursuing their they will behold the prosperous from the rude log hut to the stately dutch mansion with brick front glazed windows and from the tangled thicket to the luxuriant and from the indian to the ponderous in a word they will picture to themselves the steady silent and un march to prosperity incident to a city destitute of pride or ambition cherished by a fat government and whose citizens do nothing in a hurry the sage council as has been mentioned in a preceding chapter not being able to determine upon any plan for the building of their city the cows in a fit of patriotism took it under their particular charge and as they went to and from pasture established paths through the bushes on each side of which the good folks built their houses which is one cause of the rambling and picturesque turns and which distinguish certain streets of new york at this very day the houses of the higher class were generally loyalty of constructed of wood excepting the end which was of small black and yellow dutch bricks and always faced on the street as our ancestors like their descendants were very much given to outward show and were noted for putting the best leg foremost the house was always furnished with abundance of large doors and small windows on every floor the date of its was curiously by iron figures on the front and on the top of the roof was perched a fierce little to let the family into the important secret which way the wind blew these like the on the tops of our pointed so many different ways that every man could have a wind to his mind j the most and loyal citizens however always went according to the n the top of the governor s house which was certainly the most correct as he had a servant employed every morning to climb up and set it to the right quarter in those good days of simplicity and sunshine a passion for cleanliness was the leading principle in domestic economy and the universal test of an able a character which formed the utmost ambition of our grand mothers the front door was never opened ex on marriages new years days the festival of st or some such great occasion it was ornamented with a gorgeous brass wrought sometimes in the device of a dog and sometimes of a lion s head and was daily l with such religious zeal that it was oft n passion for times worn out by the very precautions taken far its preservation the whole house was constantly in a state of under the discipline oi and and the good of those days were a kind o animal exceedingly to b in water that an historian o the day gravely tells us that many of his women grew to have fingers like unto duck and some of them he had little doubt the matter be examined into would be found have the tails of but this i look to be a mere sport of fancy or what is worse wilful the grand parlour was the where the passion for cleaning was indulged wit out control in this sacred apartment no one iv permitted to enter excepting the mistress confidential maid who visited it once a week i the purpose of giving it a thorough cleaning a putting things to rights always taking the p caution of leaving their shoes at the door entering devoutly on their t af the floor it with fine sand which was curiously into angles fl curves and with a wa ing the windows rubbing and the w ture and putting a new of the fire place the window shutters were ag closed to keep out the flies and the room locked	48
up until the revolution of time round the weekly cleaning day a new fire side as to the family they always entered in at the gate and most generally lived in the kitchen to have seen a numerous household assembled around the fire one have imagined that he was transported back to those happy days of simplicity which float before our like golden visions the fire places were of a truly magnitude where the whole family old and young master and servant black and white nay even the very cat and dog enjoyed a community of privilege and had each a right to a corner here the old would sit in silence puffing his pipe looking in the fire with half shut eyes and thinking of nothing for hours together the on the opposite side would employ herself diligently in spinning or knitting stockings the young folks would crowd around the hearth listening with breathless attention to some old of a negro who was the of the family and who perched like a in a corner of the chimney would forth for a long winter afternoon a string of incredible stories about new england ghosts horses without heads and escapes and bloody among the indians in those happy days a well regulated family always rose with the dawn dined at eleven and to bed at sun down dinner was invariably a private meal and the fat old showed symptoms of and uneasiness at being surprised by a visit from a n tea and fat pork on such occasions but though our worth ancestors were thus singularly averse to giving din yet they kept up the social bands of by occasional called tea parties these fashionable parties were generally confined to the higher classes or that is such as kept their own cows and drove their own the company commonly assembled at three o clock and went away about six unless it was in winter time when the fashionable hours were a little earlier that the ladies might get home before dark the tea table was crowned with a huge dish well stored with of fat pork brown cut up into and swimming in th company being seated around the genial board and each furnished with a fork evinced their dexterity in at the pieces in this mighty dish in much the same manner as sailors at sea or our indians spear salmon in the lakes sometimes the table was with immense apple or full of preserved and but it was always sure to boast an enormous dish of balls of in s fat and called nuts or a delicious kind of cake at present scarce known in this city excepting in genuine dutch families the tea was served out of a majestic ornamented with paintings of fat little dutch and tending pigs with boats sailing in the air and houses built in the clouds and sundry other ingenious dutch fan ancient mode of eating sugar the distinguished themselves by t in this pot from a huge copper tea kettle which would have made the of these days sweat merely to look at it to the be a lump of sugar was laid beside each cup and the company alternately and with great decorum until an improvement was introduced by a shrewd and old lady which was to a large lump directly over the tea table by a string from the ceiling so that it could be swung from mouth to mouth an ingenious expedient which is still kept up by some families in but which without exception in flat bush and all our dutch villages at these primitive tea parties the utmost propriety and dignity of prevailed no nor no gambling of old ladies nor chattering and of young ones no self satisfied of wealthy gentlemen with their brains in their pockets nor amusing and monkey of smart young gentlemen with no brains at all on the contrary the young ladies seated themselves in their rush chairs and knit their own stockings nor ever opened their lips excepting to say t ah or to any question that was asked them in all things like decent well educated as to the gentlemen each of them smoked his pipe and seemed lost in con i a of the blue and white with which the fire places were decorated wherein sundry passages of scripture were and his dog figured to great advantage swung on his and appeared most out of the whale like through a barrel of fire the parties broke up without noise and without confusion they were carried home by their own carriages that is to say by the nature had provided them excepting such of the wealthy as could afford to keep a the gentlemen gallantly attended their fair ones to their respective and took leave of them with a hearty at the door which as it was an established piece pf etiquette done in perfect simplicity and honesty of heart occasioned no scandal at that time nor should it at the present if our great approved of the custom it would argue a great want of reverence in their descendants to say a word against it the n age chapter iv containing further particulars of the golden age and c m d a fine lady and gentleman in the days of walter ik this period of my history the island of presented a the very rf those pictures drawn of the golden reign of there was as i have before observed a happy ignorance an honest simplicity among its inhabitants which were i even able to would be but little understood by the age for which z am doomed to write even the female sex those arch upon the tranquillity the honesty and gray beard customs of society seemed for a while to conduct themselves with incredible and their hair by the of art was back from	48
their with a candle and covered with a little cap of which fitted exactly to their heads their of were striped with a variety of gorgeous though i must confess these gallant garments were rather scarce reaching below the knee but then hey made up in the number which generally female costume equalled that of the gentlemen s small clothes and what is still more praise worthy they were all of their own manufacture of which circumstance as may well be supposed they were not a little vain these were the honest days in which every staid at home read the bible and wore pockets ay and that too of a goodly size fashioned with patch work into many curious devices and worn on the outside these in fact were convenient where all good carefully stored away such things as they wished to have at hand by which means they often came to be crammed r and i remember there was a story current when i was a boy that the lady of van once had occasion to empty her right pocket in search of a and the was discovered lying among some rubbish in one corner but we must not give too much faith to all these stories the anecdotes of those remote periods being very subject to exaggeration besides these notable pockets they likewise wore and suspended from their by red or among the more and classes by brass and even silver chains tokens of and industrious i cannot say much in of the of the j it doubtless was introduced for the purpose of giving the stockings a chance to be seen which were generally of blue with magnificent red a fine lady or perhaps to display a well turned ankle nd a neat though serviceable foot set off by a shoe with a large and splendid silver thus we find that the gentle sex i n all ages have shown the same disposition to in a little upon the laws of decorum in order betray a lurking beauty or gratify an innocent love of finery from the sketch here given it will be seen that good differed considerably in their ideas of a fine figure from their pressed descendants of the present day a fine in those times under more clothes ven on a fair summer s day than would have c lad the whole of a modem ball room nor they the less admired by the gentlemen in consequence thereof on the contrary the greatness of a lover s passion seemed to increase in proportion to the magnitude of its object and a arrayed in a dozen of was declared by a low dutch of the province to be radiant as a and luxuriant as a full blown in it is that in those days the heart of a lover could not contain more than one lady at a time whereas the heart of a modem gallant has often room enough to accommodate half a dozen the reason of i conclude to be that either the hearts of the gentlemen have grown larger or the persons of the ladies smaller this however is a question for to determine but there was a secret charm in these picture of a fine gentleman coats which no doubt entered into the consideration of the prudent the wardrobe of a lady was in those days her only fortune and she who had a good stock of and stockings was as absolutely an as is a with a store of bear skins or a with a plenty of rein deer the ladies therefore were very anxious to display these powerful attractions to the greatest advantage and the best rooms in the house instead of being adorned with of dame nature in water colours and needle work were always hung round with abundance of garments the manufacture and the property of the females a piece of that still among the of our dutch villages the gentlemen in fact who figured in the circles of the gay world in these ancient times in most particulars with the whose smiles they were ambitious to deserve true it is their merits would make but a very impression upon the heart of a modern fair they neither drove their nor their for as yet those gaudy were not even neither did tbey distinguish themselves by their brilliancy at the table and their consequent with for our forefathers were of too pacific a disposition to need those ok the night every soul throughout the town being sound asleep before nine o clock neither did they establish their claims to at the expense of their in van day t for as yet those against the pockets of society and the tranquillity of all young gentlemen were unknown in new every good made the clothes of her husband and family and even the of van himself thought it no to cut out her husband s not but what there were some two or three who manifested the first of what is called fire and spirit who held all labour in contempt about and market places in the sunshine what little money they could procure at cap and swore fought and their neighbours horses in short who pro to be the wonder the talk and of the town had not their career been unfortunately cut short by an affair of honour with a post far other however was the truly fashionable gentleman of those days his dress which served for both morning and evening street and drawing room was a coat made perhaps by the fair hands of the mistress of his affections and gallantly with abundance of large brass buttons score of breeches heightened the proportions of his figure his shoes were decorated by enormous copper a broad hat bis and his hair down his back in a prodigious of skin happy reign thus equipped	48
he would sally forth with pipe in mouth to some fair s heart not such a pipe good reader as that which did sweetly tune in praise of his but one of true manufacture and furnished with a charge of fragrant tobacco with this would he resolutely set himself down before the fortress and rarely failed in the process of time to smoke the fair enemy into a surrender upon honourable terms such was the happy reign of van celebrated in many a long forgotten song as the real golden age the rest being nothing but copper washed coin in that delightful period a sweet and holy calm reigned over the whole province the smoked his pipe in peace the substantial solace of his domestic cares after her daily toils were done sat at the door with her arms crossed over her apron of snowy white without being insulted by street or vagabond boys those unlucky who do so our streets displaying under the roses of youth the thorns and of then it was that the lover with ten breeches and the of half a score indulged in all the innocent of virtuous love without fear and without reproach for what had that virtue to fear which was defended by a shield of good equal at least to the seven bull hides of the invincible ah and never to be forgotten age when of van every thing was better than it has ever been since or ever will be again when channel was quite dry at low water when the in the were all salmon and when the moon shone with a pure and whiteness instead of that melancholy yellow light which is the consequence of her sickening at the she every night witnesses in this city happy would it have been for new could it always have existed in this state of ignorance and lowly simplicity but alas the days of childhood are too sweet to last i cities like men grow out of them in time and are doomed alike to grow into the bustle the cares and miseries of the world let no man congratulate himself when he the child of his bosom or the city of his birth increasing in magnitude and importance let the history of his own life teach him the dangers of the one and this excellent little history of convince him of the of the other an walk v in which the reader is into a which ends very differently from what it commenced in the year of our lord one thousand eight hundred and four on a fine afternoon in the glowing month of september i took my customary walk upon the battery which is at once the pride and of this ancient and city of new york the ground on which i trod was by recollections of the past and as i slowly wandered through the long alley of which like so many standing on end diffused a melancholy and shade my imagination drew a contrast between the surrounding scenery and what it was in the classic days of our forefathers where the government house by name but the custom house by occupation proudly reared its brick walls and wooden pillars there stood the low but substantial mansion of the renowned van around it the mighty of fort frowned defiance to every absent foe but like many a warrior and gallant captain confined their martial deeds to alone the mud breast works had long been with the earth and their site converted into the green and leafy of the battery where the gay his sunday coat scenery round new york nd the laborious relieved from the dirt nd of the week poured his weekly tale of love into the half averted ear of the the bay still pre the same sheet of water with islands sprinkled with fishing boats and l by shores of picturesque beauty but the dark forests which once clothed these shores had been by the savage hand of tion and their tangled and impenetrable had into and waving fields of grain ven governor s island once a smiling garden to the sovereigns of the province was now covered with a tremendous block house so that this once peaceful island resembled a fierce little warrior in a big cocked hat breathing and defiance to the world for some time did i indulge in this pensive train of thought in sober sadness the present day with the years behind the mountains the melancholy progress of improvement and the zeal with which our worthy endeavour to preserve the of venerable customs prejudices and errors from the overwhelming tide of modern when by degrees my ideas took a turn and i awakened to an enjoyment of the beauties around me it was one of those rich days which heaven particularly upon the island of and its vicinity not a float a calm described ing cloud obscured the the sun rolling in glorious splendour through his ethereal course seemed to his honest dutch countenance into an unusual expression of benevolence as he smiled his evening salutation upon a city he delights to visit with his most beams the very winds seemed to hold in their in mute attention lest they should the tranquillity of the hour and the bosom of the bay presented a polished mirror in nature beheld herself and smiled the standard of our city reserved like a choice handkerchief for days of hung motionless on the flag staff which forms the handle to a gigantic and even the tremulous leaves of the and the ceased to to the breath of heaven every thing seemed to in the profound repose of nature the formidable eighteen slept in the of the wooden seemingly gathering fresh strength to fight the battles of their country on the next fourth of july the solitary drum on governor	48
s ears it naturally followed that their liberty of conscience likewise implied liberty which being freely indulged soon put the country in a and aroused the pious indignation of the fa of the church the usual methods were adopted to them that in those days were considered so in bringing back stray sheep to the fold that is to say they were they were they were they were line upon line upon lash upon lash here a little and there a great deal were exhausted without mercy and without success until at length the worthy of the church wearied out by their were driven in the excess of their tender mercy to adopt the scripture text and literally heaped live embers on their heads nothing however could subdue that invincible of independence which has ever distinguished his singular race of people so that rather than to such horrible tyranny they one and all for the wilderness of america where hey might enjoy the of talking no sooner did they land on his soil than as if they had caught the from the climate they all lifted up their at once and for the space of one whole origin of year did keep up such a joyful that ve are told they frightened every bird and beast out of the neighbourhood and so completely dumb founded certain fish which abound on their co that they have been called ever since from this simple circumstance unimportant a it may seem did first that renowned privilege so loudly boasted of throughout this country which is so exercised in news papers ward meetings pot house and which the right of talking without ideas and without of public of public of great characters and destroying little ones in short that grand of our country the liberty speech the simple of the land for a while contemplated these strange folk in utter astonishment but discovering that they though noisy weapons and were a lively ingenious good humoured race of men they became very friendly and and gave them the name of which in the or language silent men since into the fa epithet of which they unto the present day true it is and my fidelity as an historian not allow me to pass it over in silence that the zeal of these good people to maintain their and privileges for a betray liberty of conscience explained them into errors which it is easier to pardon than defend having served a regular in the school of persecution it them to show that they had become in the art they accordingly employed their leisure hours in or hanging divers and for daring to abuse the liberty of conscience which they now dearly proved to imply nothing more than that every man should think as he pleased in matters of religion provided he thought right for otherwise it would be giving a latitude to now as they the majority were perfectly convinced that they alone thought right it consequently followed that whoever thought different from them thought wrong and whoever thought wrong and persisted in not being convinced and converted was a of the liberty of conscience and a corrupt and member of the body and deserved to be off and cast into the fire now ru warrant there are hosts of my readers ready at once to lift up their hands and eyes with that virtuous indignation with which we always contemplate the faults and errors of our neighbours and to exclaim at these well meaning but mistaken people for on others the injuries they had suffered themselves for indulging the preposterous idea of convincing the mind by the body and establishing the doctrine of charity and forbearance by persecution the of but in simple truth what are we doing at this very day and in this very enlightened nation but acting upon the very same principle in our political have we not within but a few years released ourselves from the of a government which cruelly denied us the privilege of governing ourselves and using in full latitude that invaluable member the tongue and are we not at this very moment striving our best to over the opinions tie up the tongues or ruin the fortunes of one another what are our great political societies but mere political our pot house but little of our newspapers but mere and where unfortunate individuals are with rotten eggs and our council of appointment but a grand where are sacrificed for their political where then is the difference in principle our measures and those you are so ready to condemn among the people i am treating of there is none the difference is merely thus we instead of we instead of we turn out instead of hanging and where they burnt an n we either tar or feather or bum him in this political persecution being somehow or other the grand of our liberties and an proof that this is a free country but notwithstanding the fervent zeal with which advantages op this holy war was against the whole race of we do not find that the population of this new colony was in any wise thereby on the contrary they multiplied to a degree which would be incredible to any man with the marvellous of this growing country this amazing increase may indeed be partly ascribed to a singular custom among them commonly known by the name oi a superstitious observed by the young people of both sexes with which they usually terminated their and which was kept up with religious by the more and vulgar part of the community this ceremony was likewise in those primitive times considered as an indispensable preliminary to matrimony their where ours usually finish by which means they acquired that intimate acquaintance with each other s good qualities before marriage which has been pronounced by	48
philosophers the sure basis of a happy union thus early did this cunning and ingenious people display a at making a bargain which has ever since distinguished them and a strict to the good old vulgar about buying a pig in a to this sagacious custom therefore do i chiefly attribute the increase of the or yankee tribe for it is a certain fact well by court records and parish op population that wherever the practice of there was an amazing number of sturdy bom unto the state without the the law or the benefit of clergy the of their birth operate in the to their on the contrary grew up a long sided raw hardy ra wood and corn fed their united tended those notable tracts of country c and cape description of a b chapter vii how these singular turned out to be notorious how they built air and attempted to the in the mystery of in the last chapter i have given a faithful and account of the origin of that singular race of people the country eastward of the but i have yet to mention certain peculiar habits which rendered them exceedingly to our ever honoured dutch ancestors the most prominent of these was a certain rambling with which like the sons of they seem to have been gifted by heaven and which continually them on to shift their residence from place to place so that a yankee farmer is in a constant state of j occasionally here and there clearing lands for other people to enjoy building houses for others to and in a manner may be considered the wandering of america his first thought on coming to the years of manhood is to settle himself in the which nothing more nor less than to begin his to this end he takes unto himself for a wife some country passing rich red glass heads and s s progress shell with a white gown and shoes for sunday and deeply skilled in the mystery of making apple long and pie having thus provided himself like a with a heavy wherewith to his shoulders through the journey of life he literally sets out on the his whole family household furniture and farming are hoisted into a covered cart his own and his wife s wardrobe packed up in a which done he shoulders his axe takes staff in hand yankee and off to the woods as confident of the protection of providence and as cheerfully upon his own resources as did ever a of when he into a strange country of the having buried himself in the wilderness he himself a log hut away a corn field and patch and providence smiling upon his labours is soon surrounded by a snug farm and some half a score of headed who by their size seem to have sprung all at once out of the earth like a crop of but it is not the nature of this most of to rest contented with any state of enjoyment improvement is his darling passion and having thus improved his lands the next care is to provide a mansion worthy the residence of a land a huge palace of pine boards immediately springs up in the midst of the wilderness large enough for a parish church and his wooden palace furnished with windows of all dimensions but so and withal that every blast gives it a fit of the by the time the outside of this mighty air castle is completed either the funds or the zeal of our adventurer are exhausted so that he barely ma to half finish one room within where the whole family together while the rest of the house is devoted to the of or of and potatoes and is decorated with fanciful of dried apples and the outside remaining grows black with time j the family wardrobe is laid under contribution for old hats and breeches to stuff into the broken windows while the four winds of heaven keep up a whistling and howling about this palace and play as many as they did of in the cave of old the humble log hut which this improving family within its narrow but comfortable walls stands hard by in contrast degraded into a cow house or pig j and the whole scene reminds one forcibly of a fable which i am surprised has never been recorded of an who abandoned his habitation which he had long filled with great respectability to crawl into the empty shell of a where he would no doubt have resided with great style and splendor the envy and hate of all the pains taking of his neighbour ot hood had he not accidentally perished with cold in one comer of his mansion being thus completely settled and to use his own words to rights one would imagine that he would begin to enjoy the comforts of his situation to read newspapers talk politics neglect his own business and attend to the affairs of the nation like a useful and patriotic citizen but now it is that his disposition begins again to operate he soon grows tired of a spot where there is no longer any room for improvement his farm air castle windows and all his cart shoulders his axe puts himself at the head of his family and away in search of new lands again to fell trees again to clear corn fields again to build a palace and again to sell off and wander such were the people of who bordered upon the eastern frontier of and my readers may easily imagine what neighbours this light hearted but restless tribe must have been to tranquil if they cannot i would ask them if they have ever known one of our regular dutch families whom it hath pleased heaven to with the neighbourhood of a french boarding house the honest old cannot	48
have it van a most soldier of that class of which we have such numbers on parade who are famous for eating all they kill he was of a very appearance and would have been an exceeding tall man had his legs been in proportion to his body but the latter being long and the former uncommonly short it gave him the uncouth appearance of a tall man s body mounted upon a little man s legs he made up for this construction of body by throwing his legs to such an extent when he marched that you would have sworn he had on the identical seven league boots of the far jack the giant and so high did he tread on any great military occasion that his soldiers were alarmed lest he should himself under foot but notwithstanding the of this fort and the appointment of this ugly little man of wa invasion by the us a commander the continued those daring which i have hinted at in my last chapter and taking advantage of the character which the cabinet of van soon acquired for profound and tranquillity did the of the and themselves down within the very of fort on beholding this outrage the long van proceeded as became a prompt and officer he immediately protested against these in low dutch by way of inspiring more terror and forthwith despatched a copy of the protest to the governor at new together with a long and bitter account of the of the enemy this done he ordered his men one and all to be of good cheer shut the gate of the fort smoked three pipes went to bed and awaited the result with a resolute and tranquillity that greatly animated his and no doubt struck sore dismay and into the hearts of the enemy now it came to pass that about this time the renowned van full of years and honours and council dinners had reached that period of life and faculty which according to the great a man to admission into the ancient order of he employed his time in smoking his pipe amid an assemblage of equally enlightened and nearly venerable as himself and who for their silence f a discussion in van r s their gravity their wisdom and their cautious to coming to any conclusion in business are only to be equalled by certain profound which i have known in my time upon reading the protest of the gallant van therefore his fell straightway into one of the deepest doubts that ever he was known to encounter his head gradually drooped on his chest he closed his eyes and in his ear to one side as if listening with great attention to the discussion that was going on in his belly which all who knew him declared to be the huge court house or council chamber of his thoughts forming to his head what the house of representatives do to the an inarticulate sound very much resembling a occasionally escaped him but the nature of this internal was never known as he never opened bis lips on the subject to man woman or child in the mean time the protest of van laid quietly on the table where it served to light tbe pipes of the venerable assembled in council and in the great smoke which they raised the gallant his protest and his mighty fort were soon as completely forgotten as is a question of emergency swallowed up in the speeches and resolutions of a modern of there are certain when your profound and sage are in the way of a nation and when a of hare decision is worth a van precautions of sage doubt and cautious discussion such at least was the case at present for while the renowned van was daily n ith his doubts and his resolution growing weaker and weaker in the contest the enemy pushed further and further into his and assumed a most formidable appearance in the neighbourhood of fort here they founded the mighty town of or as it has since been called a place which if we may credit the of that worthy historian john hath been infamous by reason of the therein and so daring did these men of become that they extended those of for which their town is illustrious under the very noses of the garrison of fort that the honest could not toward that quarter without tears in their eyes this crying injustice was regarded with proper indignation b the gallant van he absolutely trembled with the amazing violence of his and the of his which seemed to be the more turbulent in their workings from the length of the body in which they were agitated he forthwith proceeded to strengthen his his his and his position with a double row of after which precautions he despatched a fresh with tremendous accounts of his perilous situation the chosen ta bear these alarming de his fat messenger was a fat little man as being liable to be worn out or to lose leather on th journey and to his speed he was on the horse in the garrison re for his length of limb of bone and hardness of trot and so tall that the messenger was obliged to climb on his back by means of his tail and such extraordinary speed did he make that he arrived at fort dam in little less than a month though the di was full two hundred pipes or about miles the extraordinary appearance of this ous stranger would have thrown the whole town of new into a had the good people troubled themselves about any thing more than their domestic affairs with an appearance of great hurry and business and smoking a short travelling pipe he proceeded on a long swing trot through the muddy lanes of the metropolis whole of dirt which the little dutch children were	48
making in the road and for which kind of the children of this city have ever been famous on arriving at the governor s house he climbed down from his in great roused the gray headed old who like his and faithful representative the venerable of our court was nodding at his rattled at the door of the council chamber and startled the members as they were oyer a plan for a public market van s last at that very moment a gentle or rather a deep drawn was heard from the chair of the governor a of smoke was at the same instant observed to escape from his lips and a light cloud to ascend from the bowl of his pipe the council of course supposed him engaged in deep sleep for the good of the community and according to custom in all such cases established every man out silence in order to maintain tranquillity when of a sudden the door flew open and the little into the apartment to the middle in a pair of boots hich he had got into for the sake of expedition in his right hand he held forth the ominous and with his left he grasped firmly the of his which had unfortunately given way in the exertion of descending from his horse he resolutely up to the governor and with more hurry than delivered his message but fortunately his ill tidings came too late to the tranquillity of this most tranquil of rulers his venerable had just breathed and smoked his last his lungs and his pipe having been exhausted and his peaceful soul having escaped in the last that curled from his tobacco pipe in a word the renowned walter the who had so often with his now slept with his fathers and governed in his stead book iv containing the of the reign of william the chapter i the nature of history in general containing the universal of william the y and a man may learn so much as to render himself good for nothing when the lofty is about to enter upon his description of the plague that one of his modern the reader that the history is now going to be exceeding solemn serious and pathetic and hints with that air of with which a good dame draws forth a choice morsel from a cupboard to a favourite that this plague will give his history a most agreeable variety in like manner did my heart leap within me when i came to the of fort good hope which i at once perceived to be the of a series of great events and entertaining such are the true subjects for the historic pen for what is history in fact but a kind of a register of the crimes and miseries that man has inflicted on his fellow man it is a huge on human nature to which we ot add page after page volume after as if we were building up a monument the honour rather than the of our species if we turn over the pages of these that man has written of himself what are the characters dignified by the of great and held up to the admiration of posterity robbers renowned only for the magnitude of their and the y and miseries they have inflicted on mankind warriors who have hired themselves to the trade of blood not from motives of virtuous patriotism or to protect the injured and but merely to gain the glory of being and successful in their fellow beings what are the great events that constitute a glorious era the fall of the desolation of happy countries splendid cities smoking in their ruins the works of art tumbled in the dust the shrieks and groans of whole nations ascending unto heaven it is thus the may be said to on the miseries of mankind like birds of prey that over the field of battle to on the mighty dead it was observed by a great of inland lock that rivers lakes and were only formed to feed in like manner i am tempted to believe that plots wars and are ordained by providence only as food for the historian it is a source of great delight to the philosopher of the reign in studying the wonderful economy of nature t the mutual of things how the are created for each other and how the most and apparently unnecessary has its uses thus those of flies which are so often as useless are created for the of and on the other hand are evidently made to flies so those heroes who have been such to the world were provided as for the poet and the historian while the poet and the historian were destined to record the achievements of heroes these and many similar reflections naturally arose in my mind as i took up my pen to commence the reign of william for now the stream of our history which hitherto has rolled in a tranquil current is about to depart for ever from its peaceful haunts and through many a turbulent and rugged scene like some sleek ox which having fed and in a rich lies sunk in luxurious repose and will bear repeated and blows before it its limbs and from its so the province of the having long and grown under the prosperous reign of the was reluctantly awakened to a melancholy conviction that by patient its had become so numerous and that it was to than endure them the reader will now witness the manner in which a peaceful of william the community advances towards a state of war j which it is too apt to approach as a horse does a drum th much and parade but with little progress and too often with the wrong end foremost who in ascended the chair to borrow a favourite though clumsy	48
ery blast of the nose according to the custom of great this in general i is intended as a signal trumpet to call the of the but with william the it boasted a more classic cause for he had of the singular expedient of that famous who when he he roman his tones by an or pitch pipe this preparatory being performed le commenced by expressing a humble sense of lis own want of talents his utter un the honour conferred upon him and his to discharge the important duties f his new station in short he expressed so an opinion of himself that many simple members present ignorant that these were words of course always used on such oc the speech itself were very uneasy and even felt he should accept an for which he was so inadequate he then proceeded in a manner highly and profoundly though nothing at all the purpose being nothing more than a account of all the of ancient greece and the wars of rome and together wit the rise and fall of sundry about which the assembly knew no more than great yet thus after the manner of your learned convinced the audience that he was a man of many great he at length came to the less important part of his speech the situation of the province and here he soon worked himself into a fearful rage against the whom he compared to the who rome and the and who the fairest plains of europe nor did he forget to mention in terms of adequate the insolence with which they had upon the of new and the audacity with which they had commenced the town of new and planted the patches of under the very walls of fort having thus wrought up his tale of terror to a climax he assumed a self satisfied look and declared with a nod of knowing import that he had taken measures to put a final stop to these that he had been obliged to have his awful to a dreadful engine of warfare lately awful in its effects but by ill necessity in a word he was resolved to the by r this purpose he had prepared a tremendous of the kind ordering commanding the forthwith to ve depart and withdraw from the districts as and under pain of ing all the and in such case made and provided this pro tion he assured them would at once the enemy from the face of the country le pledged his as a governor that i two months after it was published not one should remain on another in any of the towns they had built council remained for some time silent after d finished whether struck dumb with at the brilliancy of his project or put to by the length of his the history of doth not mention suffice it to say they gave a universal of acquiescence was immediately despatched ceremony having the great seal of the ice which was about the size pf a attached to it by a broad red nor having thus his indignation relieved the council put cocked hat and small clothes and ing a tall raw trotted out to q his at s his country seat which was situated in a swamp now called dutch street b more commonly known by the name of do misery here like the good he from tl toils of taking lessons in not from the but from the honoured wife of his bosom who was one of that kind of females sent upon earth a little the flood as a punishment for the sins of kind and commonly known by the o knowing women in fact my duty as an me to make known a circumstance was a great secret at the time and consequently was not a subject of scandal at more than half th tea tables in new but which many other great secrets has out in th lapse of years and this was that the great the though one of the most men that ever breathed yet submitted at home to a species of government neither laid down in or in short it partook of the nature of a pure tyranny and is familiarly government an absolute sway which though exceedingly com mon in these modern days was very rare among the if we may judge from the made about the domestic economy of honest which is the only ancient case on record the great however off all the and of his particular friends who i he who would govern must obey are ever ready to joke with a man on sore points of the kind by that it was a government of his own election to which he submitted through choice adding at the same time a profound which he had found in an ancient author that he who would to govern should first learn to obey fate of the chapter ii in are recorded the sage of a ruler of genius the art of fighting by and how the van came to at fort never was a more comprehensive a more ex or what is still better a more measure devised than this of the by an expedient likewise so humane so gentle and pacific there ten chances to one in favour of its succeeding but then there was one chance to ten that it not succeed as the ill natured would it that single chance carried the day the was perfect in all its parts well constructed well written well sealed and well published all that was wanting to its effect was that the should stand in awe of it but provoking to relate they treated it with the most absolute contempt applied it to an purpose and thus did the first warlike come to a shameful end a fate	48
which i am informed has befallen but too many of its it was a long time before could be persuaded by the united efforts of all his that his war measures had failed in producing any effect on the contrary he flew in a second one issued t passion whenever any one dared to question its and swore that though it was slow in yet when once it began to work it ould soon the land of these time however that test of all both in philosophy and politics at length the great that his as and that notwithstanding he had nearly four years in a state of constant yet he was still further off than ever rom the object of his wishes his in the east became more and more in their and founded he colony of close upon the of fort they moreover the fair settlement of called the red hills within the of heir high while the patches f were a continual to the of van upon beholding therefore he of his measure the sage like a worthy of laid the lame not to the medicine but to the quantity and resolutely resolved to double he dose in the year therefore that being the fourth rear of his reign he against them a of heavier metal than the written in thundering long sentences not me word of which was under five this n fact was a kind of non intercourse bill forbid a long pause and all commerce and between any and every of the said yankee and the said fortified post of fort and ordering commanding and all his loyal and well beloved subjects to furnish them with no supplies of gin or sour to buy none of their pacing horses pork apple brandy yankee rum water apple or wooden but to starve and them from the face of the land another pause of a ensued during which the last received the same attention and experienced the same fate as the first at the end which term the gallant van despatched his annual messenger with his customary of complaint and entreaties whether the regular interval of a year intervening between the arrival of van s was occasioned by the regularity of his movements or by the immense distance at which he was stationed from the seat of government is a matter of uncertainty some have ascribed it to the of his messengers who as i have before noticed were chosen from the shortest and of his garrison as least likely to be worn out on the road and who being short little men generally travelled fifteen miles a day and then laid by a whole week to rest all these however are matters of conjecture and i rather think it may be ascribed to van complaints the of this worthy country and which has ever influenced all its public transactions not to do things in a hurry the gallant van in his respectfully represented that several years had now elapsed since his first application to his late van during which interval his garrison had been nearly one eighth by the death of two of his most and soldiers who had accidentally themselves on some fat salmon caught in the river he further stated that the enemy persisted in their taking no notice of the fort or its inhabitants but themselves down and forming all around it so that in a little while he should find himself enclosed and by the enemy and totally at their mercy but among the most of his i find the following still on record which may serve to show the bloody minded of these savage in the mean time they of have not and taken in the lands of although and against the of nations but have our nation in purchased broken up lands but have also them with in the night which the had broken up and intended to and have beaten the servants of the high and mighty the honored which were upon master s lands from lands with sticks and in hostile a s rights manner and amongst the rest struck ever a hole in his head with a stick that the blood ran very strongly upon his body but what is still more those of sold a that belonged to the honored under pretence that it had eaten of grass when they had not any foot of inheritance they proffered the for s if the would have given s for damage which the denied because man s as men use to say can upon his master s t the receipt of this melancholy intelligence the whole community there was something in it that spoke to the dull comprehension and touched the feelings even of the vulgar who generally require a kick in the rear to awaken their dignity i have known my profound fellow citizens bear without murmur a thousand essential of their rights merely because they were not immediately obvious to their senses but the moment the unlucky was shot upon our the whole body was in a so the enlightened though they had treated the of their eastern neighbours with but little regard and left their governor this name is no doubt mis in some old dutch of the time we find the name of who is unquestionably the unfortunate hero above alluded to t col papers of the council j bear the who e of war with his single pen yet now every individual felt his head broken n the broken head of and the unhappy fate of their fellow citizen the being impressed carried and sold into awakened a of sympathy from every bosom the governor and council by the of the multitude now set themselves ear to deliberate upon what was to be done had at length fallen into temporary some were for sending the a tribute as we	48
make peace to the petty powers or as the indians sacrifice to the devil others were for buying them out j but this was posed as it would be acknowledging their title to the land they had seized a variety of measures were as usual in such cases proposed discussed and abandoned and the council had at last to adopt the means which being the most common and obvious had been overlooked for your amazing acute are for ever looking through which only enable them to see such objects as are far off and but which them to see such things as are in their reach and obvious to all simple folks who are content to look with the naked eyes heaven has given them the profound council as i have said in their pursuit after jack o accidentally stumbled on the very measure they were in need of j which was to raise a body of troops and despatch them to the relief and of the garrison this measure capture of fort was carried into such prompt operation that in less than twelve months the whole expedition consisting of a and twelve men was ready to march and was for that purpose in the public square now known by the name of the green just at this juncture the whole community was thrown into consternation by the sudden arrival of the gallant van who came straggling into town at the head of his crew of and bringing the melancholy tidings of his own defeat and the capture of the post of fort by the ferocious the fate of this important fortress is an impressive warning to all military it was neither carried by storm nor famine no practicable breach was effected by cannon or mines no magazines were blown up by red hot shot nor were the or the garrison destroyed by the bursting of shells in fact the place was taken by a no less singular than effectual and one that can never fail of success whenever an opportunity occurs of putting it in practice happy am i to add for the credit of our illustrious ancestors that it was a which though it the vigilance yet left the bravery of the van and his garrison perfectly fi ee from reproach it appears that the having heard of the regular habits of the garrison watched a favourable opportunity and silently introduced themselves into the fort about the middle of a by the day when its having themselves with a hearty dinner and smoked out their pipes were one and all most at their posts little dreaming of so disastrous an occurrence the enemy most seized van and his sturdy by the of the neck them to the gate of the fort and dismissed them with a kick on the as charles the twelfth dismissed the heavy after the battle of only taking care to give two to van as a signal mark of distinction a strong garrison was immediately established in the fort consisting of twenty long sided with stuck in their hats by way of and feathers long rusty pieces for hasty dumb fish pork and for stores and a huge was hoisted on the end of a pole as a standard liberty caps not having as yet come into fashion wrath of governor chapter iii containing the fearful of the and the great of the new because of the affair moreover william the did strongly the city together with the exploits language cannot express the prodigious fury into which the was thrown by this provoking intelligence for three good hours the rage of the little man was too great for words or rather the words were too great for him and he was nearly choked by some dozen huge mis nine dutch oaths that crowded all at once into his having blazed off the first he kept up a constant firing for three whole days the man woman and child body and soul for a set of and a thousand other names of which unfortunately for posterity history does not make mention finally he swore that he would have nothing more to do with such a questioning horse notion crew that they might stay at fort and rot despondency before he would dirty his hands by attempting to drive them away in proof of which he ordered the new raised troops to be marched forthwith into winter quarters although it was not as yet quite governor faithfully kept his word and his as faithfully kept their post and thus the glorious river and all the gay valleys through which it rolls together with the salmon and other fish within its waters fell into the hands of the victorious by whom they are held at this very day great despondency seized upon the city of new in consequence of these melancholy events the name of yankee became as terrible among our good ancestors as was that of among the ancient and all the sage old women of the province used it as a wherewith to frighten their children into obedience the eyes of all the provinces were now turned their governor to know what he would do the protection of the common in these lays of darkness and peril great apprehensions among the reflecting part of the especially the old women that these terrible warriors of not content with the conquest of fort would on to new and take it by storm and as these old ladies through means of the s who as has been already was the better horse had obtained considerable influence in public keeping the van the province under a kind of government it was determined that measures should be taken for the effective of the city happened that at this time in new one van a jolly fat dutch of a pleasant famous for his long wind and his huge whiskers and who	48
as the story goes could so upon his instrument as to produce an effect upon all within hearing as though ten thousand were singing right i the nose him did the illustrious pick out as the man of all the world most fitted to be the champion of new and to garrison its fort making little doubt but that his instrument would be as effectual and offensive in war as was that of the or the more classic horn of it would have done one s heart good to have seen the governor snapping his fingers and with delight while his sturdy up and down the his trumpet in the face of the whole world like a thrice editor insulting all the and powers on the other side of the atlantic nor was he content with thus strongly the fort but he likewise added exceedingly to david de in his year makes mention of one a in fort who gave name to s hook and who was doubtless this same champion described by mr editor its strength by furnishing it with a formidable battery of guns a in the centre which the whole city and moreover by building a great on one of the this last to be sure was somewhat of a novelty in the art of but as i have already observed william was notorious for and experiments and traditions do affirm that he was much given to mechanical inventions patent carts that went before the horses and especially for which machines be had acquired a singular in his native town of all these scientific of the little governor were cried up with by his as proof of his universal genius but there were not wanting ill natured who at him as his mind in frivolous pursuits and that time to smoke and which should have been occupied in the more important concerns of the province nay they even went so far as to hint once or twice that his head was turned by his experiments and that he really thought to manage his government as he did his mills by mere wind such is the and to which enlightened rulers are ever subject de that this stood on the south east and it is likewise to be seen together with the in banker s view of new r attack on bay notwithstanding all the therefore ot william the to place the city in a posture of defence the inhabitants continued in great alarm and despondency but fortune who seems always careful in the very nick of time to throw a bone for hope to upon that the may be kept alive did about this time crown the arms of the province with success in another quarter and thus cheered the drooping hearts of the forlorn otherwise there is no knowing to what they might have gone in the excess of their for grief says the profound historian of the seven of is companion with despair and despair a of infamous death among the numerous of the of which for some time past had occasioned such great i should particularly have mentioned a settlement made on the eastern part of long island at a place from the peculiar excellence of its shell fish was called bay this was attacking the province in a most sensible part and occasioned great agitation at new it is an fact well known to skilful that the high road to the affections is through the throat and this may be accounted for on the same principles which i have already quoted in my on fat nor is the fact unknown to the world at large and hence do we observe that the way to gain the hearts of the million is to feed them well of the heart and stomach and that a man is never so disposed to flatter to please and serve another as when he is feeding at his expense which is one reason why your rich men who give frequent dinners have such abundance of sincere and faithful friends it is on this principle that our knowing leaders of parties secure the affections of their by them with and fishes and the of the greasy mob by treating them with and oxen i have known many a man in this same city acquire importance in society and a large share of the good will of his enlightened fellow citizens when the only thing that could be said in his was that he gave a good dinner and kept excellent wine since then the heart and the stomach are so nearly allied it follows that what affects the one must affect the other now it is an equally fact that of all to the stomach there is none more grateful than the marine animal known commonly by the vulgar name of and in such great reverence has it ever been held by my fellow citizens that temples have been to it time out of mind in every street lane and alley throughout this well fed city it is not to be expected therefore that the seizing of bay a place with their favourite delicacy would be by the inhabitants of new an attack upon their honour they might have the head even the of a few citizens have been passed over in silence but an outrage that affected the of the great city of new and threatened the of its was too serious to pass the whole council was unanimous in opinion that the should be immediately driven by force of arms from bay and its vicinity j and a was accordingly despatched for the purpose under the command of one or f e the head so called because he was a man of mighty deeds famous throughout the whole extent of for his skill at quarter staff j and for size he would have been a match	48
for the champion slain by of was a man of few words but prompt actions one of your straight going officers who march directly forward and do their orders without making any parade he used no extraordinary speed in his movements but steadily on through and and and and the mighty town of and various other renowned cities of which by some unaccountable of the have been strangely to long island until he arrived in the neighbourhood of bay here was he encountered by a tumultuous host of warriors headed by preserved fish and and return strong and his mighty victory and and cock at the sound of whose names the courageous verily believed that the whole parliament of praise god had been let loose to him finding however that this formidable body was composed merely of the select men of the settlement armed with no other weapon but their tongues and that they had issued forthwith no other intent than to meet him on the of argument he succeeded in putting them to with little difficulty and completely up their settlement without waiting to write an account of his victory on the spot and thus letting the enemy slip through his fingers while he was securing his own as a more experienced general would have done the brave thought of nothing but his enterprise utterly driving the from the island this hardy enterprise he performed in much the same manner as he had been accustomed to drive his oxen for as the fled before him he pulled up his breeches and after them and would have driven them into the sea had they not begged for quarter and agreed to pay tribute the news of this achievement was a to the spirits of the citizens of new to gratify them still more the governor resolved to astonish them with one of those gorgeous spectacles known in the days of classic antiquity a full account of which had been into his memory when a school boy at the entry a grand triumph therefore was to who made his triumphant into town riding on a which like roman had the enemy for standards were carried before hi fifty cart loads of five hundred j of a hundred fish two of and other treasures were exhibited as the spoils au tribute of the while three notorious of notes were led cap to grace the hero s triumph the procession was by martial music from the trumpet of van the champion by a select band of boys and performing on the national instruments of and shells the citizens devoured the spoils in sheer gladness of heart every man did honour to the conqueror by getting devoutly drunk on new england rum and the learned calling to mind in a momentary fit of enthusiasm and generosity that it was customary among the to honour their victorious with public statues passed a gracious decree by which every tavern keeper was permitted to paint the head of the on his sign this is one of those trivial that now and then occur in the course of this otherwise history how could notes be when as yet were unknown in this and our simple had not even of those inexhaustible mines of paper prints reflections chapter iv philosophical reflections on the foil i of being happy in times of pro sundry troubles on the southern william the had well nigh ruined the province through a word as also the secret expedition of and his astonishing reward if we could but get a peep at the of dame j where like a notable landlady she regularly up the and accounts of mankind we should find that upon the whole good and evil are pretty nearly balanced in this world and that though we may for a long while in the very lap of prosperity the time will at length come when we must pay off the reckoning fortune in fact is a and withal a most inexorable for though she may indulge her in long and them with her yet sooner or later she brings up her with the of an experienced and out her scores with their tears since says good old no man can retain her at his pleasure and since her flight is so deeply lamented what are her but sure of approaching trouble and calamity there is nothing that more moves my contempt at the stupidity and of reflection of my the essence of wisdom low men than to behold them rejoicing and in in security and self confidence in times of prosperity to a wise man who is blessed with the light of reason those are the very moments of anxiety and apprehension well knowing that according to the system of things happiness is at best but transient and that the higher he is elevated by the capricious breath of fortune the lower must be his depression whereas he who is overwhelmed by calamity has the less chance of fresh as a man at the bottom of a ladder runs very little risk of breaking his neck by tumbling to the top this is the very essence of true wisdom which consists in knowing when we ought to be miserable and was discovered much the same time with that invaluable secret that every thing is vanity and vexation of spirit in consequence of which your wise men have ever been the of the human race it as an mark of genius to be distressed without reason since any man may be miserable in time of misfortune but it is the philosopher alone who can discover cause for grief in the very hour of prosperity according to the principle i have just advanced we find that the colony of new which under the reign of the renowned van had flourished in such alarming and fatal serenity is now paying for its former welfare	48
and the enormous debt of comfort which it contracted foes it from different quarters the city of peter new while yet in its infancy is kept in constant alarm j and its commander the answers the vulgar but expressive idea of a man in a of troubles while busily engaged his bitter enemies the on one side we find him suddenly in another quarter and by other a colony of under the conduct of peter and to that queen of had settled themselves and erected a fort on south or river within the boundaries claimed by the government of the new history is mute as to the particulars of their first landing and their real to the soil and this is the more to be lamented as this same colony of will hereafter be found most materially to affect not only the interests of the but of the world at large in whatever manner therefore this vagabond colony of first took possession of the country it is certain that in they established a fort and according to the off hand usage of his declared himself governor of all the adjacent country under the name of the province of new no sooner did this reach the ears of the than like a true spirited he immediately broke a violent rage and calling together his council the most in the longest speech that had ever been heard in the colony since the memorable dispute of ten breeches and power of big words tough breeches having thus given vent to the first of his indignation he had resort to his favourite measure of and despatched one hot in the first year of his reign informing peter that the whole territory on the south river had time out of mind been in possession of the dutch having been beset with and sealed with their blood the latter sentence would convey an idea of war and were we not relieved by the information that it merely related to a in which some half a dozen had been killed by the indians in their benevolent attempts to establish a colony and promote civilization by this it will be seen that william though a very small man delighted in big expressions and was much given to a figure in generally cultivated by your little great men called a figure which has been found of infinite service among many of his class and which has helped to swell the grandeur of many a mighty self important but windy chief magistrate nor can i resist in this place from observing how much my beloved country is indebted to this same figure of for supporting certain of her greatest characters and who by dint of big words periods and windy doctrines are kept afloat on the surface of as ignorant are up by blown the against concluded the governor s hands full by ordering the self governor and his gang of immediately to leave the country under penalty of the high displeasure and inevitable vengeance of the government of the this strong measure however does not seem to have had a whit more effect than its which had been thundered against the the resolutely held on to the territory they had taken possession of whereupon matters for the present remained in that should put up with this insolent obstinacy in the would appear with his temperament but we find that about this time the little man had his hands full and what with one annoyance and another was kept continually on the there is a certain description of active who by shrewd management contrive always to have a hundred irons on the every one of which must be immediately attended to who consequently are ever full of temporary and up the public welfare and the national affairs so as to make nine holes where they mend one stopping and with whatever comes first to hand like the i have mentioned old clothes in broken windows of this class of was william the and had he only been blessed with powers equal to his zeal or his zeal been by a little discretion there is very little doubt but he would have made the greatest go his word of his size on record the renowned governor of the island of alone the great defect of s policy was that though no man could be more ready to stand forth in an hour of emergency yet he was so intent upon guarding the national pocket that he suffered the enemy to break its head in other words whatever precaution for public safety he adopted he was so intent upon rendering it cheap that he invariably rendered it ineffectual all this was a remote consequence of his profound education at the where having acquired a of knowledge he was ever after a great of continually dipping into books without ever studying to the bottom of any subject so that he had the of all kinds of authors in his in some of these title page he stumbled over a grand political which with his customary facility he immediately into his great scheme of government to the injury and delusion of the honest province of and the eternal of all rulers in vain have i over the of the the of the jews the of the the magic of the the of the english the of the or the of the indians to discover where the little man first laid eyes on this terrible word neither the that famous volume ascribed to th economy nor the pages of the containing the mysteries of the recorded y the learned yield any to my inquiries nor am i in the least be by my painful in the j of the wandering jew though it enabled elm to make a ten days journey in twenty four hours neither can i perceive the slightest in the or sacred of four	48
letters the word of the hebrew a mystery sublime and and the letters of which he he having been stolen by the constituted their great name or jove in short in all my and from the of to the works of and mother bunch i have not discovered the least of an origin of this word nor have i discovered any word of sufficient to it not to keep my reader in any suspense the word which had so wonderfully arrested the attention of william the and which in german characters had a particularly black and ominous aspect on being fairly translated into the english is no other than economy a term which by constant use and frequent mention has ceased to be formidable in our eyes but which has as terrible as any in the of when pronounced in a national assembly it has its mighty effects an immediate effect in closing the hearts the drawing the purse strings and the breeches pockets of all philosophic nor are its effects on the eyes wonderful it produces a of the an obscurity of the a of the and an of the an of the and a of the that the organ of vision loses its strength and and the unfortunate patient becomes or in plain english blind perceiving only the amount of immediate expense without being able to look and regard it in with the ultimate object to be effected so that to quote the words of the eloquent a at his nose is of greater magnitude than an oak at five hundred yards distance such are its operations and the results are still more astonishing by its magic influence shrink into into and into gun boats this all potent word which served as his in politics at once explains the whole system of empty threats and paper war carried on by the and we may trace its operations in an which he fitted out in in a moment of great wrath consisting of two and thirty men under the command of as admiral oi the fleet and commander in chief of the forces expedition of this formidable expedition which can only be by some of the daring of our infant navy about the bay arid up the sound was intended to drive the from the of which they had recently taken possession and which was claimed as part of the province of new for it appears that at this time our infant colony was in that state so much by ambitious nations tha is to say the had a vast extent of territory part of which it enjoyed and the greater part of which it had continually to quarrel about admiral was a man of great and and no way dismayed at the character of the enemy who were represented as a gigantic race of men who lived on cakes and bacon drank and apple and were exceedingly expert at biting tar and and a variety of other accomplishments which they had borrowed from their cousins german and the to whom they have ever borne considerable resemblance notwithstanding all these alarming representations the admiral entered the most with his fleet and arrived without disaster or opposition at the place of here he attacked the enemy in a vigorous speech in low dutch which the wary had previously put in his pocket wherein he courteously commenced by calling them a pack of lazy drinking cock fighting horse racing slave his return and reward driving tavern haunting sabbath breaking and concluded by ordering them to the country immediately to which they most replied in plain english they d see him d d first now this was a reply for which neither nor had made any calculation and finding himself totally unprepared to answer so terrible a with suitable hostility he concluded that his wisest course was to return home and report progress he accordingly sailed back to new where he was received with great honours and considered as a pattern for all having achieved a most enterprise at a trifling expense of treasure and without losing a single man to the state he was called the of his country an liberally bestowed on all great men his two having done their duty were laid up or dry in a now called the basin where they quietly in the mud and to his name they erected by a magnificent monument on the top of hill which lasted three whole years when it fell to pieces and was burnt for wise law of chapter v o william the enriched the province by a multitude of and came to be the patron of lawyers and bum and the people became exceedingly enlightened and unhappy under his instructions among the many and fragments of exalted wisdom which have floated down the stream time from venerable antiquity and have been carefully picked up by those humble but industrious who along the shores of literature e find the following sage of the anxious to preserve the ancient laws of the state from the additions and improvements of profound country members or for popularity he ordained that whoever proposed a new law should do it with a about his neck so that in case his proposition was rejected they just hung him up and there the matter ended this institution had such an effect that for more than two hundred years there was only one trifling alteration in the criminal code and the whole race of lawyers starved to death for want of employment the consequence of this was that the being by an overwhelming load of excellent laws and by a standing army of and s petty laws multiplied s officers lived very lovingly together and were such a happy people that they scarce make any figure throughout the whole for it is well known that none but your unlucky nations make any noise in the world well	48
would it have been for william the had he in the course of his universal ac stumbled upon this precaution of the good on the contrary he conceived that the true policy of a was to laws and thus secure the property the persons and the morals of the people by surrounding them in a manner with men traps and spring guns and even the sweet walks of private life with hedges so that a man could scarcely turn without the risk of some of these thus was he continually petty laws for every petty offence that occurred until in time they became too numerous to be remembered and remained like those of certain modern dead letters revived occasionally for the purpose of individual oppression or to ignorant petty courts consequently began to appear where the law was administered with nearly as much wisdom and as in those august the s and courts of the present day the was generally favoured as being a customer and bringing business to the shop the of the rich were a goodly gallows erected winked at for fear of the of their friends but it could never be laid the charge of the that hey suffered vice to under the rags of poverty about this time may we date the first introduction of capital a goodly being erected on the water about where white m stairs re at present a little to th of the hard by also was erected her f a very strange uncouth and tion but on which the ingenious william valued himself not a little being a punishment entirely of his own invention it was for of not a whit inferior of so renowned in bible history j ut the marvel of the contrivance was that the instead of being suspended by the neck to venerable custom was hoisted by he and was kept for an hour together and between heaven and earth to the infinite entertainment and doubtless great of the multitude of respectable citizens ho usually attend upon of the kind it is incredible how the little governor chuckled t beholding and sturdy beggars swinging by the and cutting in the air he had a thousand and to utter upon these he called them his lions his aid fowl his high his his his scare and finally his gallows s blessings attendant on birds which ingenious though originally confined to who had taken the air in this strange manner has since grown to be a cant name given to all for legal elevation this punishment moreover if we may credit the of certain grave gave the first hint for a kind of or by which our forefathers up their breeches and which has of late years been revived and continues to be worn at the present day such were the admirable improvements of william in criminal law nor was his civil code less a matter of and much does it grieve me that the limits of my work will not suffer me to on both with the they deserve let it suffice then to say that in a little while the blessings of innumerable laws became apparent it was soon found necessary to have a certain class of men to and confound them divers accordingly made their appearance under whose protecting care the community was soon set together by the ears i would not here be thought to any thing to the profession of the law or to its dignified members well am i aware that we have in this ancient city innumerable worthy gentlemen who have embraced that honourable order not for the sordid love of filthy nor the selfish of renown but through no other motives but a fervent zeal for the correct laws and lawyers administration of justice and a generous and disinterested devotion to the interests of their fellow citizens sooner would i throw this pen into the flames and cork up my ink bottle for ever than even for a nail s breadth upon the dignity of this truly benevolent class of citizens on the contrary i allude solely to that crew of who in these latter days of evil have become so numerous who the skirts of the profession as did the dish knights the honourable order of chivalry who under its commit their on society who by md and like swarm most there is most corruption nothing so soon the as the facility of gratification the courts f law would never be so constantly crowded with and disgraceful suits were it not or the herds of lawyers that hem these with the passions of the and more ignorant classes who as if poverty were not a sufficient misery in itself are ready to it by the bitterness of they are in law what are in exciting the malady for the purpose of by the cure and the cure for he purpose of the where the constitution the other he purse j and it may likewise be observed that i patient who has once been under the hands of i is ever after in and q the community in a himself with and an ignorant man who has once with the law under the of one of these is for ever after himself with his neighbours and himself with successful law suits my readers will excuse this into which i have been betrayed but i could not avoid giving a cool account of an too in this excellent city and with the effects of which i am acquainted to my cost having been nearly ruined by a law suit which was decided against me and my ruin having been completed by another which was decided in my favour it has been remarked by the observant writer of the manuscript that under the administration of the disposition of the inhabitants of new experienced an essential change so that	48
they became very and the constant of temper into which the little governor was thrown by the on his and his unfortunate to experiment and occasioned him to keep his council in a continual worry and the council being to the people at large what or is to a they threw the whole community into a and the people at large being to the city what the mind is to the body the unhappy they most upon new that in certain of the mob become like s ass their of consternation and perplexity they several of the most crooked distorted and abominable streets lanes and with which this metropolis is but the worst of the matter was that just about this time the mob since called the sovereign people like s ass began to grow more enlightened than its rider and exhibited a strange desire of governing itself this was another effect of the universal of william the in some of his among the rubbish of antiquity he was struck with admiration at the institution of public tables among the where they discussed topics of a general and interesting nature at the schools of the philosophers where they engaged in profound upon politics and morals where gray were taught the of wisdom and youths learned to become little men before they were boys there is nothing said the ingenious shutting up the book there is nothing more essential to the well management of a country than education among the people the basis of a good government should be laid in the public mind now this was true enough but it was ever the fate of william the that when he thought right he was sure to go to work wrong in the present instance he could eat or sleep until he had set on foot societies among the simple citizens of new this was the one thing wanting to complete his confusion the discoveries of honest dutch though in truth but i given to argument or dint of meeting often together tt selves with strong drink their bi with tobacco smoke and listening to the of some half a dozen came exceedingly wise and as is always the where the mob is discontented they found out with quickness of the fearful in which they had indulged in ti selves the happiest people in creation and fortunately convinced that all circumstance the contrary notwithstanding they were a unhappy and consequently n people in a short time the of new am dam formed themselves into sage of who daily met together to g over political affairs and make themselves to these unhappy with the same eagerness that have i ages abandoned the and more paths of religion to crowd to the howling of we are naturally j to discontent and after causes of like our own shoulders and seem to u vast satisfaction in the music of our own nor is this said for the sake of experience shows the truth of these it is almost impossible to the spirits societies groaning under ideal but nothing is more easy than to render him wretched though on the of felicity as it is an task to a man to the top of a though the merest child can him off thence in the sage i have noticed the reader will at once perceive the faint of those called popular meetings at our day thither resorted all those and of low degree who like rags hang loose upon the back of society and are ready to be blown away by every wind of doctrine abandoned their and hastened thither to give lessons on political economy left their and suffered their own fires to go out while they blew the and stirred up the fire of j and even though but the and patches the ninth parts of humanity neglected their own measures to attend to the measures of government nothing was wanting but half a dozen newspapers and patriotic to have completed this public illumination and to have thrown the whole province in an uproar i should not forget to mention that these popular meetings were held at a noted tavern for houses of that description have always been found the most of politics with those genial streams which give strength and to we are told that the ancient had an admirable mode of treating m or i i of they ft drunk and it when sober the i who dislike having two minds upon a determine and upon it drunk bj which om a world of cold and tedious q is with and as it is allowed when a man is drunk he sees double it foil most that he sees twice as well as sober neighbours law to smoking chapter vi of the great pipe plot and of the into william tjie was thrown by reason of his having enlightened the multitude os has already been made manifest was a great upon a small scale he was of an active or rather a busy mind that is to say his was one of those small but brisk minds which make up by bustle and constant motion for the want of great scope and power he had when quite a been impressed with the advice of solomon go to the ant thou consider her ways and be wise in to which he had ever been of a restless ant like turn worrying hither and thither himself about little matters with an air of great importance and anxiety laying up wisdom by the morsel and often toiling and puffing at a grain of seed under the full conviction that he was moving a mountain thus we are told that once upon a time in one of his fits of mental bustle which he termed deliberation he framed an unlucky law to the universal practice of smoking this he proved by	48
demonstration to be not merely a heavy tax on the public pocket but an incredible of time a great of idleness and of course a deadly to the prosperity and morals of the people ill fated had he lived in this enlightened and loving age and consequent tumult attempted to the liberty of the press he could not have struck more closely on the of the million the were in as violent a turmoil as the constitutional gravity of their would permit a mob of citizens had even the to before the governor s house where setting themselves resolutely down like a army before a fortress they one and all fell to smoking with a determined perseverance that seemed as though it were their intention to smoke him into terms the william issued out of his mansion like a spider and demanded to know the cause of this assemblage and this lawless to which these sturdy made no other reply than to back in their seats and puff away with fury whereby they raised such a cloud that the governor was fain to take refuge in the interior of his castle the governor immediately perceived the object of this unusual tumult and that it would be impossible to suppress a practice which by long indulgence had become a second nature and here i would observe partly to explain why i have so often made mention of this practice in ray history that it was connected with all the affairs both public and private of our ancestors the pipe in fact was never from the mouth of the true born it was his companion in solitude the of his hours his his his joy his the pipe plot ends in smoke pride in a word he seemed to think and breathe through his pipe when william the himself of all these matters which he certainly did although a little too late he came to a compromise with the multitude the result was that though he continued to permit the custom of smoking yet did he the fair long pipes which were used in the days of van ease tranquillity and of and in place thereof did introduce little short pipes two inches in length which he observed could be stuck in one comer of the mouth or twisted in the hat band and would not be in the way of business by this the multitude seemed somewhat appeased and dispersed to their thus ended this alarming which was long known by the name of the pipe plot and which it has been somewhat observed did end like most other plots and in mere smoke but mark oh reader the deplorable consequences that did afterwards result the smoke of these little pipes continually ascending in a cloud about the nose penetrated into and the dried up all the kindly moisture of the brain and rendered the people that used them as and their renowned little governor nay what is more from a goodly race of folk they became like our worthy dutch farmers who smoke short pipes a long pipes short pipes and lantern smoke dried race of men nor was this all for from hence may we date the rise of parties in this province certain of the more wealthy and important to the ancient fashion formed a kind of aristocracy which went by the of the long pipes while the lower orders to the which they found to be more convenient in their and to leave them more liberty of action were with the name of short pipes a third party likewise sprang up from both the other headed by the descendants of the famous robert the companion of the great these entirely discarded the use of pipes and took to tobacco and hence they were called it is worthy of notice that this last has since come to be invariably applied to those or third parties that will sometimes spring up between two great parties as a mule is produced between a horse and an ass and here i would remark the great benefit of these party distinctions by which the people at large are saved the vast trouble of thinking mankind into three classes those who think for themselves those who let others think for them and those who will neither do one nor the other the second class however the great mass of society and hence is the origin of by which is meant a large body of people rise and progress of parties few of whom think and all the rest talk the former who are called the leaders and discipline the latter teaching them what they must approve what they must at what they must say whom they must support but above all whom they must hate for no man can be a right good unless he be a determined and thorough going but when the sovereign people are thus properly broken to the harness and it is to see with what and they onward through mud and mire at the will of their drivers dragging the dirt carts of at their heels how many a patriotic of have i seen who would never lave known how to make up his mind on any and might have run a great risk of by mere accident had he not had others to for him and a file leader to vote after thus then the enlightened inhabitants of the being divided into parties were to and to oppose and ate one another more accurately and now the business of politics went bravely on the in separate beer houses and at each other with o the great support of the state and the tavern some indeed who were zealous than the rest went further and to one another with numerous ery hard names and scandalous little words to e found in the dutch language every against the governor believing	48
that he was serving his when he the character or the pocket of a political adversary however they might differ between themselves all parties agreed on one point to at and condemn every measure of government whether right or wrong for as the governor was by his independent of their power and was not by their choice and as he had not decided i favour of either neither of them was in his success nor in the prosperity of th country while under his administration unhappy william the writer of the manuscript doomed tc contend with enemies too knowing to be and to reign over a people too wise to be governed all his against his enemies were and set at naught and all his measures for th public safety were at by the people he propose an body of troops for internal defence the mob that is to say those vagabond members of the community who have nothing to lose immediately took the alarm that their interests were in that a standing army was a of on the pockets of society a rod of iron in the hands of government and that a government with a military force at its command would inevitably swell into a did he as was but too commonly the case preparation until the moment of emergency and then hastily collect a handful of the his conduct sure was at as feeble and inadequate as trifling with the public dignity and safety and as the public funds on impotent did he resort to the measure of he was laughed at by the did he back it by non intercourse it was and by his own subjects whichever he turned himself he was and distracted by of numerous and ble meetings consisting of some half a dozen pot house all of which he i and what is worse all of which he attended to the consequence was that by incessantly his measures he gave none of them a fair trial j and by listening to the of the ob and endeavouring to do every thing he in sober truth did nothing i would not have it supposed however that he took all these and for such an idea would do injustice to his spirit on the contrary he never received a piece of advice in the whole course of his life without first getting into a passion with the but i have ever observed that your passionate little men like small boats with large sails are the easiest upset or blown out of their course and this is by who though in temperament as hot as an old and with a mind the territory of which was subjected to perpetual and yet never failed to be carried away by the last piece of advice that was blown into his ear lucky was how to drive a governor it for him that his power was not dependent i the greasy multitude and that as yet the did not possess the important privilege oi their chief magistrate they how did their best to help along public affairs pe ing their governor incessantly by with and and then his fiery spirit with reproaches and sunday managing an unlucky devil hack horse so that may be to have been kept either on a worry or a h gallop throughout the whole of his of the chapter vii containing divers accounts of border and the of the moss of the rise of the great council of the east and the of william the it was asserted by the wise men of ancient times who were intimately acquainted with these matters that at the gate of s palace lay two the one filled with blessings the other misfortunes and it verily seems as if the latter had been completely and left to the unlucky province of among the many internal and external of irritation the incessant of the upon his were continually adding fuel to the temper of william the i numerous accounts of these still be found among the records of the times for the on the were especially careful to their vigilance and zeal by striving who should send home the most frequent and of complaints as your faithful servant is running with complaints to the parlour of the petty and of the kitchen far be it from me to however that our ancestors indulged in on the contrary they were daily suffering a t their of cruel wrongs not one of which but was a reason according to the of national dignity and honour for throwing the whole universe into hostility and confusion oh ye powers into what indignation did every one of these throw the philosophic william letter after letter protest after protest after bad latin worse english and hideous low dutch were exhausted in vain upon the inexorable j and the twenty letters of the which excepting his champion the sturdy van composed the only standing army he had at his command were never off duty throughout the from among a multitude of bitter still on record i select a few of the most and leave my readers to judge if our ancestors were not in getting passion on the occasion f june some of have taken a out of the or common and shut it up out of hate or prejudice causing it to starve for hunger in the july the english did drive the companies out of tlie of into daily with reproaches blows beating the people with all disgrace that they could imagine may the english of have violently cut loose of the honoured companies that stood bound upon the common or may the companies horses upon the companies ground were driven away by them of or and the beaten with and sticks again they sold a young belonging to the which had on the companies land col state perils of the author of his	48
administration nor was the a whit behind his patron in fiery zeal l ut like a faithful champion of the public safety on the arrival of every fresh article of news he was sure to sound his trumpet from the with disastrous notes throwing the people into and disturbing their rest at all times seasons which caused him to be held in very regard the public and liim as we do for similar services i am well aware of the perils that me in this part of my history while with curious hands but pious heart among the of former days anxious to draw the honey of wisdom i may fare somewhat like that worthy who in with the of a dead lion drew a swarm of bees about his ears thus while the many of the or yankee tribe it is ten chances to one but i offend the morbid of certain of their unreasonable descendants who may fly out and raise such a about this unlucky head of mine that i shall need the tough hide of an or an to protect me from their should such be the case i should deeply and sincerely lament not my misfortune in giving offence but the wrong headed of an ill natured generation in taking offence at any thing i say that their ancestors did use my ancestors ill is true and i am very sorry for it i his determination would with all my heart the fact were otherwise but as i am the sacred events of history rd not one nail s breadth of the honest truth though i were sure the whole edition of my work should be bought up and burnt by the common of and in now that these gentlemen have drawn me out i will make bold to go further and observe that this is one of the grand purposes for which we impartial are sent into the world to wrongs and render justice on the heads of the guilty so that though a powerful nation may wrong its neighbours with temporary yet sooner or later an historian springs up who ample on it in return thus these moss of the east little thought i ll warrant it while they were the province of and driving its unhappy governor to his wit s end that an historian should ever arise and give them their own with interest since then i am but forming my duty as an historian in ing the wrongs of our ancestors i shall make no further apology and indeed when it considered that i have all these ancient of the east in my power and at the mercy of my pen i trust that it will be admitted i conduct myself with great humanity and moderation to resume then the course of my appearances to the eastward began now to assume a more formidable aspect than ever for i would have you note that hitherto the province had been by its immediate neighbours the people of particularly of j if we may judge from x the strong hold of these sturdy moss fix m whence they forth on their daring carrying terror and into the ns the hen and pig of our about the year the people of the country the colonies of new and new ha ven gathered together into a mighty and and for many days like a hive of bees in time at length settled themselves into a formidable the title of the united colonies of new england by this union they pledged themselves o stand by one another in all perils and nd to co operate in all measures offensive and against the surrounding among hich were included our honoured ancestors of the and to give more strength add system to this a general assembly or grand council was to be held composed of representatives from each of the provinces on receiving accounts of this combination was struck with consternation for the fir t time in his whole life forgot to at hearing an unwelcome piece of intelligence which a venerable historian of the times was especially noticed among the alarm of governor of new the truth turning over in his mind all that he had read a the about and h found that this was an exact imitation of the am council by which the states of were enabled to attain to such power and and the very idea made his heart to for the safety of his empire at the he insisted that the whole object o this was to drive the out of their fair and always flew into great rage if any one presumed to doubt the pro of his conjecture nor was he wholly in such a suspicion for at the very first annual meeting of the grand council held at boston which governor the of this truly classic league strong representations were made against the as that in their dealings with the indians they carried on a traffic in guns and a trade and injurious to the not but what certain of the did likewise a little in this traffic but then they always sold the indians such guns that they burst at the first discharge and consequently hurt no one but these pagan savages the rise of this potent was a to the glory of william the for from that day forward it was remarked by many he col s papers his last ever held up his head but appeared quite crest his subsequent reign therefore affords l ut scanty food for the historic pen we find tlie and council continually in power nd threatening to the province of while kept c and like a shrewd sea captain firing off and in order to break and a water but alas they had no more effect than if ihey had been so many blank the last document on	48
record of this learned philosophic but unfortunate little man is a long letter to the council of the wherein in the bitterness of his heart he rails at the people of new haven or red hills for their contempt of his protest at them for within the province of their high from this letter which is a model of writing with and classic figures my limits will barely allow me to extract the following passage certainly when we the inhabitants of new of us we seem to s wolf of the lamb or the of the man who out to his mother her her lest she first take up that practice against you but being taught by precedent passages we received such an answer to our protest from col state exit the inhabitants of new haven we expected the eagle always the yet notwithstanding we continue on our purpose of pursuing our own right arms and righteous means and hope without scruple to execute the ess commands of our to show that this last sentence was not a mere empty menace he concluded his letter by in i protesting against the whole council as a i of and inasmuch as they held their meeting at new haven or the red hills which he claimed as being within the province of the new thus end the of the reign of william the for henceforth in the troubles the the confusion of the times he seems to have been overlooked and to have slipped for ever through the fingers of scrupulous history for i ome cause or other which i cannot divine there appears to have been a combination among historian tp sink his very name into oblivion in consequence of which they have one and all tp of his exploits this shows how important it is for great men to cultivate the favour of the learned if they are ambitious of honour and renown insult not the said a wise to his son f jest thou offend thine historian and many a mighty man of the time bad he observed so obvious a might have escaped divers cruel of the pen which l aye across his character of thb te tt d it has been a matter o deep concern to me that such darkness and obscurity should bang over the days of the illustrious for he was a and gi eat little man worthy of being utterly renowned seeing that he was the first that introduced into this land the art of fighting by and defending a country by and an and humane mode of warfare since revived with great applause which promises if it can ever be carried into to save great trouble and treasure and infinitely more than either the discovery of or the invention of it is true that certain of the early provincial of whom there were great numbers in the taking advantage of the exit of william the have h t like he was translated to the skies forms a very fiery little star somewhere on he left of the while others equally fanciful declare that he liad experienced a fate to that of the good king arthur who we are a sure by ancient was carried away to the delicious of fairy land where he stiu exists in worth and vigour and will one day or another return to restore the gallantry the honour and the which prevailed in the glorious days of the round the old believed that king arthur was not dead t y the into some t place tales respecting his death all these however are but pleasing the visions of those dreaming tb poets to which i would not have my reader attach any neither am i dis posed to yield any credit to the assertion of an an and rather historian who that the ingenious was b the blowing down of one of his nor u that of a writer of later times who that h fell a victim to a philosophical experiment he had for many years been vainly striving to ac having the misfortune to break his from the garret window of the house in ar ineffectual attempt to catch by fresh salt upon their tails the most probable account and to which i am inclined to give my faith is contained in a very obscure tradition which declares that with the constant troubles on his the incessant and projects going on in his own p the and sage pieces of advice from divers respectable meetings of the sovereign with the disposition of his council who were sure to differ from him on every point and uniformly to be in the wrong all these where he for a time and then and in as great authority as ever the suppose that he shall come yet and all for this is the of he say d that his shall be and said for men thereof yet have and for ever more for men pot whether that he or is de finally out i say did operate to keep his mind in a kind of furnace heat until he at length became as completely burnt out as a dutch family pipe which has passed through three generations of hard in this manner did the but william the undergo a kind of animal away like a so that when grim death finally him out there was scarce left enough of him to bury book v the of thb of m his with thb chapter l im the death of a great man is he no ver matter of w and peter acquired a great name from the uncommon strength of his head to a profound j like myself who am apt to see clear through a subject where the penetration of ordinary people extends but half way there is no fact more simple and manifest than that the death of	48
a great man is a matter of very little importance much as we may think of ourselves and much as we may excite the empty of the million it is certain that the greatest among us do actually fill but an exceeding small space in the world and it is equally certain that even that small space is quickly supplied when we leave it vacant of what consequence is it said that individuals appear or make their exit the world is a theatre whose scenes and actors are continually changing never did philosopher speak loss of correctly and i only wonder that so wise remark could have so many ages and not have laid it more to heart sage follows on in the footsteps of sage one hero just steps out of his car to make way for the hero who comes after him and of the monarch it is merely said that he with his fathers and his successor feigned in his stead the world to tell the private truth cares but little for their loss and if left to itself would soon to grieve i and though a nation has often been drowned in tears on the death a great man yet it is ten chances to one if te individual tear has been shed on the occasion excepting from the forlorn pen of some it is the historian the and the poet who have the whole burden df grief to j who kind souls like under in england act the part of chief who a nation with sighs it never heaved md it with tears it never of shedding thus while the patriotic author is m and howling in prose in blank md in and collecting the drops of public sorrow into his volume as into a t is more than probable his citizens are eating and drinking and dancing as utterly ignorant of the bitter made in their name as are those men of straw and richard of the exit occasioned no for whom they are generously pleased oo s occasions to become the most glorious and t ever nations might have into oblivion among the rubbish of his own ment did not some historian take him into and his name to posterity and much as the william worried and while he had the of a whole colony in his hand i question serious whether he will not be obliged to this history for all his future his exit occasioned no in the of new or its vicinity the trembled not neither did any stars shoot their the heavens were not i black as poets would fain persuade us they hav been on the unfortunate death of a th rocks hard hearted melted not into r nor did the trees hang their heads in silent sorrow z i and as to the sun he laid the next nigh just as long and showed as jolly a face when h arose as he ever did on the same day of the in any year either before or since the g people of new one and all declare that be had been a very busy active little governor that he was the father of hi country that he was the noblest work of god that he was a man take him for all in all they ne er should look upon his like again together with sundry other civil and ant him speeches that are regularly said on the death of au great men after which they smoked their no more about him and peter succeeded to his station peter was the last and like the renowned van he was also the best of our ancient dutch having surpassed all who preceded him and or as he was called by the old dutch who were ever prone to names having never been equalled by any successor he was in fact the very man fitted by to the desperate fortunes of her beloved province had not the those most potent and of all ancient destined them to confusion to say merely that he was a hero would be him great injustice he was in truth a com of heroes for he was of a sturdy raw make like with a pair of round shoulders that would have given his for meaning his lion s hide when he undertook to ease old of his load he was moreover as describes only terrible for the force of his arm but likewise of his voice which sounded as though it came out of a barrel and like the self same warrior he possessed a sovereign contempt for the sovereign people and an iron aspect which was enough of itself to make the very of his with terror and dismay all this martial u his silver leg of appearance was heightened by an accidental advantage with which i am surprised that neither nor have any of their heroes this was nothing less than a wooden leg which was the only prize he had gained in bravely fighting the battles of his country but of which he was so proud that he was often heard to declare he valued it more than all his other limbs put j indeed so highly did he esteem it that he had it gallantly and relieved with silver devices which caused it to be related in divers histories and legends that be wore a silver leg like that warrior he was somewhat subject to bursts of passion which were oft times rather unpleasant to his and attendants whose he was apt to after the manner of his peter the great by their shoulders with his walking staff though i cannot find that he had read or or or bacon or or tom yet did he a and sagacity in his that one would hardly expect from a who did not know greek and had never studied the true	48
it is and i confess it with row that he had an unreasonable aversion to ex and was fond of governing his provinces after the simplest manner but then he contrive see the histories of masters and character to it in better order than did the though he had all the philosophers ancient and modem to assist and him i must likewise own that he made but very few laws but then again he took care that those few were rigidly ind enforced and i do not know but on the whole was as well administered as if there had been volumes of sage acts and yearly made and daily neglected and forgotten he was in fact the very reverse of his being neither tranquil and like waiter the nor restless and like william the but a man or rather a governor of such uncommon activity and decision f mind that he never sought or the of others depending confidently upon his head as did the heroes of upon their arms to work his way through all nd dangers to tell the simple truth he wanted o other requisite for a perfect than to link always right for no one can deny that he acted as he thought and if he wanted in he made up for it in perseverance an excellent quality since it is surely more for a ruler to be and con in error than wavering and contradictory n endeavouring to do what is right this much certain and it is a worthy the at of all both great and small stand shaking in the wind without knowing b hich way to steer a ruler who acts according to u the his own is sure of pleasing he who seeks to satisfy the wishes and of runs a great risk of pleasing nobody the clock that stands still and points in one f i is certain of being right twice in the four i and twenty hours while others may keep going g continually and continually be going wrong nor did this virtue the x of the good people of on the contrary s high an opinion had they of the independent mind and vigorous in f of their new governor that they r called him hard or peter the strong z great compliment to his if from all that i have said thou dost not gather worthy reader that peter was a tough sturdy weather beaten ob sided lion hearted old governor either i have written to uttle purpose or thou art very dull at conclusions this most excellent governor whose character have thus to his administration on the th of may remarkably stormy day distinguished in all th of the time which have come down up us by the name of friday as he was very jealous of his personal and official dignity he was into office with great ceremony the goodly chair of the renowned van being carefully preserved fi r di a occasions ill like manner as the chair and stone were preserved at in scotland for the of the i must not omit to mention that the state of the elements together with its being that unlucky day of the week termed hanging day did not fail to excite much grave speculation and divers very reasonable apprehensions among the more ancient and enlightened inhabitants and several of the sex who were to be not a little skilled in the mysteries of and fortune telling did declare outright that they were of a disastrous administration an event that came to be and which proves beyond dispute the wisdom of attending to those furnished by dreams and visions the flying of birds falling of stones and of on which the and rulers of ancient times placed such reliance or to those of stars of the moon of dogs and of candles carefully noted and interpreted by the of our day who in my humble opinion are the legitimate and of the ancient science of this much is certain that governor succeeded to the chair of state at a turbulent period when foes thronged and threatened from without when and stiff opposition reigned within j when the authority of their high the lords states general peril of the state though founded on the broad dutch bottom of though supported by economy and defended by speeches yet to its very centre and when the great city of new though fortified by flag and like some fair lady of easy virtue to lie open td attack and ready to yield to the first peter s first movements chapter ii ng peter the himself among the rats and on entering into office and the perilous mistake he guilty in his dealings with the the very first movements of the great peter on taking the reins of government displayed the of his mind though they occasioned not a little marvel and uneasiness among the people of the finding himself constantly interrupted by the opposition and annoyed by the advice of his council the members of which had acquired the unreasonable habit of thinking and speaking for themselves during the preceding reign he determined at once to put a stop to such scarcely therefore had he entered upon his authority than he turned out of office all those spirits that composed the cabinet of william the in place of whom he chose unto himself from those fat respectable families that had flourished and under the easy reign of walter the all these he caused to be furnished with abundance of fair long pipes and to be with frequent dinners them to smoke and eat and sleep for the good of the nation while he took all the burden of government upon his own shoulders the system an arrangement to which they all gave hearty acquiescence nor did he stop here but made a hideous among the inventions	48
claim the merit of having made the above political discovery it has in fact long been secretly acted upon by certain enlightened and is together with divers other notable theories privately copied out of the common place book of an illustrious gentleman who has been member of and enjoyed the unlimited confidence of heads of to this principle may be ascribed the wonderful ingenuity that has been shown of late years in and interrupting hence the cunning measure of as some political skilled in and and in the art of argument or some whose errors and may be a plea for refusing to his engagements and hence too that most notable expedient so popular with our government of sending out a brace of who having each an individual will to consult character to establish and interest to promote you may as well look for and between two lovers with one mistress two dogs with one bone or two naked with one pair of breeches this therefore is continually breeding and in consequence of which the goes on inasmuch as there is no prospect of its ever coming to a close nothing is lost by these and obstacles but time and in a according to the theory i have exposed all time lost is in reality so much peace a certain source of war time gained with what delightful does modem political economy abound now all that i have here advanced is so true that i almost blush to take up the time of my readers with treating of matters which must many a time have stared in the face but the proposition to which i would most earnestly call their attention is this that though a be the most of all national transactions yet a treaty of peace is a great political evil and one of the most fruitful sources of war i have rarely seen an instance of any special contract between individuals that did not produce and downright between them nor did i ever know of a treaty between two nations that did not occasion continual how many worthy country neighbours have i known who after living in peace and good fellowship for years have been thrown into a state of distrust and by some ill agreement about fences runs of water and stray cattle and how many well meaning nations who would otherwise have remained in the most disposition towards each other have been brought to swords points about the or of some treaty which in an evil hour they had concluded by way of making their more sure at best are but complied with so long as interest requires their fulfilment consequently they are binding on the weaker party x like courtship only or in plain truth they are not binding at all no nation will go to war with another if it has nothing to gain thereby and therefore needs no treaty to restrain it from violence and if it have any thing to gain i much question from what i have witnessed of the righteous conduct of nations whether any treaty could be made so strong that it could not thrust the sword through nay i would hold ten to one the treaty itself would be the very source to which resort would be had to find a pretext for thus therefore i conclude though it is the best of all for a nation to keep up a constant with its neighbours yet it is the summit of folly for it ever to be into a treaty for then comes on the non fulfilment and then remonstrance then then then and open war in a word is like courtship a time of sweet words gallant speeches soft looks and caresses but the marriage ceremony is the signal for little occur chapter iv hm peter greatly hy his the moss and his conduct thereupon if my pains taking reader be not somewhat in the course of the of ly last chapter he will doubtless at one glance that the great peter in concluding a with his eastern neighbours was of lamentable error and in politics to lis unlucky agreement may justly be ascribed a of little and which afterwards took place the and the disposed council of all these id not a little disturb the constitutional serenity f the good of but in were so very pitiful in their nature and that a grave historian who the me spent in any thing less than the of and the revolution of worlds ould think them unworthy to be inscribed on is sacred page the reader is therefore to take it for granted i scorn to waste in the detail that time hich my brow and trembling hand in me is invaluable that all the while the great was occupied in those tremendous and that i shall shortly there as a continued series of little dirty exultation of the and made on the eastern by the moss of but like that mirror of chivalry the sage and don i leave these petty for some future of an historian while i reserve my and my pen for achievements of higher dignity now did the great peter conclude that his labours had come to a close in the east and that be had nothing to do but apply himself to the internal prosperity of his beloved though man of great modesty he could not help that he had at length shut the temple of and that were all rulers like a certain person who should be nameless it would never opened again but the exultation of the worthy governor was put to a speedy check for scarce was the treaty concluded and hardly was the ink dried on the r before the and council of the league sought a new pretence for the flames of discord it seems to be the nature of and such like powers that want the	48
often the sympathies of age his h r c e which like a spirit sits at the of the heart every genial sentiment and every spontaneous glow of enthusiasm no sooner then did this scoundrel on his honour reach the ear of peter than he proceeded in a manner which would have to his credit even though he had studied for years in the library of don himself he immediately despatched his and squire van with orders to ride night and day as herald to the council them in terms of noble indignation for giving ear to the of heathen against the character of a christian a gentleman and a soldier and declaring that as to the treacherous and bloody plot alleged against him whoever affirmed it to be true lied in his teeth to prove which he defied the president of the council and all of his or if they pleased their champion captain that mighty man of to meet him in single where he would trust the of his innocence to the of his arm this challenge being delivered with due ceremony van sounded a trumpet of defiance before the whole council ending with a most and full in the face of captain who almost jumped out of his skin in an of astonishment at the noise this done he mounted a tall mare which be always rode and trotted merrily towards the an w r to the council passing through and and and all the other border his trumpet like a very devil so that the sweet valleys and banks of the with the warlike melody and stopping occasionally to eat dance at country and bundle with the of those whom he rejoiced exceedingly with his soul stirring instrument but the grand council being composed of considerate men had no idea of running a with such a fiery hero as the hardy peter on the contrary they sent him an answer in the the most mild and provoking terms in which they assured him that his guilt was proved to their perfect satisfaction by the testimony of divers sober and respectable indians and concluding with this truly amiable paragraph for of the barbarous charged will little in balance against such evidence that we must still require and due satisfaction and so we rest sir in of c i am aware that the above transaction has been differently recorded by certain of the east and elsewhere who seem to have inherited the bitter enmity of their ancestors to the brave and much good may their inheritance do them these declare that peter requested to have the charges against him inquired conduct of their into by to be appointed for the purpose and yet that when such were appointed he refused to submit to their examination in this artful account there is but the semblance of truth he did indeed most offer when that he found a deaf ear was turned to his challenge to submit his conduct to the inspection of a court of honour but then he expected to find it an august composed of courteous gentlemen the and nobility of the and of the province of new j where he might be tried by his in a manner worthy of his rank and dignity whereas let me perish if they did not send to the two lean sided hungry mounted on with saddle bags under their and green under their arms as though they were about to beat the from one county court to another in search of a law suit the peter as might be expected took no notice of these cunning who with professional industry fell to and about in quest of ea evidence divers simple indians and old women with their cross questioning until they contradicted and themselves most horribly thus having fulfilled their errand to their own satisfaction they returned to the grand council with their and stuffed full of stories and outrageous for all which the great peter did not care a tobacco j against but i warrant me had they attempted to play off the same trick upon william the he would have treated them both to an on his patent gallows the grand council of the east held a very solemn meeting on the return of their and after they had pondered a long time on the situation of affairs were upon the point of without being able to agree upon any thing at this critical moment one of those spirits who endeavour to establish a character for patriotism by blowing the of party until the whole furnace of politics is with sparks and and who have just cunning enough to know that there is no time so favourable for getting on the people s backs as when they are in a state of turmoil and attending to every body s business but their own this of who was called a great because he had secured a seat in council by all his he i say conceived this a fit opportunity to strike a blow that should secure his popularity among his who lived on the borders of and were the greatest in excepting the scotch border like a second peter the therefore he stood forth and preached up a against peter and his devoted city he made a speech which lasted six hours according to the ancient custom in these parts in which he represented the dutch as a race of im the dutch anti pious who neither believed in nor the sovereign virtues of horse who left heir country for the of gain not like them for the enjoyment of liberty of conscience ho in short were a race of mere and inasmuch as they never ate on devoured swine s flesh without and held in utter contempt this speech had the desired effect for the council being awakened by the at arms	48
rubbed their eyes and declared that it was just and to declare instant war against these but it was necessary that the people t large should first be prepared for this measure and for this purpose the arguments of the orator were preached from the pulpit for several sundays subsequent and earnestly recommended to the consideration of every good christian who professed as well as practised the doctrine of charity and the forgiveness of injuries this is the first time we hear of the drum beating up for political in our country and it proved of such signal that it has since been called into frequent service throughout our union a cunning is often found under the robe with an outside all religion and an inside all political things spiritual and things are strangely together like and on an s shelf and instead of a devout sermon the simple church going folk have often a political thrust down their throats with a pious text from scripture peter s wise precautions chapter v h vo the new became great in arms and of the catastrophe of a mighty army together measures to the city he the original founder of the battery but notwithstanding that the grand council as i have already shown were discreet in their proceedings respecting the new and conducted the whole with almost as much silence and mystery as does the sage british cabinet one of its ill secret yet did the ever watchful peter receive as full and accurate information of every movement as does the court of france of all the notable i have mentioned he accordingly set himself to work to render the of his bitter i know that many will censure the of this stout hearted old governor in that he hurried into the expenses of without whether they were necessary by waiting until the enemy was at the door but they should recollect that peter had not the benefit of an insight into the modern of politics and was strangely to certain of the old school train bands which he firmly believed that to render a country respected abroad it was necessary to make it formidable at home and that a nation should place its reliance for peace and security more upon its own strength than on the justice or good will of its neighbours he proceeded therefore with ill diligence to put the province and metropolis q a strong posture of defence among the few of ingenious which remained from the days of william le were those of safety laws by which the were obliged to turn out twice a year with ch military as it pleased god id were put under the command of very and man who though on occasions the hearted little en in the world were very devils at and when they had cocked hats on heads and swords by their sides under e instructions of these warriors the train bands made marvellous the mystery of they were taught face to the right to wheel to the left to snap f empty fire locks without to turn a without any great uproar or id to march through sun and rain from one end the town to the other without until in e end they became so that they fired off without so much as turning away could hear the largest field piece dis y a small mistake charged without stopping their ears or falling into much confusion and would even go through all the and perils of a summer day s parade without having their ranks much by desertion true it is the genius of this truly pacific people was so little given to war that during the intervals which occurred between field days they generally contrived to forget all the military they had received so that when they re appeared on parade they scarcely knew the but end of the from the and invariably the right shoulder for the left a mistake which however was soon by their left arms but whatever might be their and awkwardness the sagacious declared them to be of but little importance since as he observed one campaign would be of more instruction to them than a hundred for though two thirds of them might be food for powder yet such of the other third as did not run away would become most experienced the great had no particular veneration for the ingenious experiments and institutions of his shrewd and among other things held the system in very considerable contempt which he was often heard to call in joke for he was sometimes fond of a joke governor s broken reed as however the present emergency was pressing he was obliged to peter s ragged regiment avail himself of such means of defence as were next at hand and accordingly appointed a general inspection and parade of the train bands but oh and and all ye other powers of war both great and small what a turning out was here here came men without officers and officers without men long pieces and short of all sorts and sizes some without others without locks others without stocks and many without lock stock or barrel boxes shot powder horns swords and all mingled hke one of our continental armies at the breaking out of the revolution this sudden of a pacific community into a band of warriors is doubtless what is meant in modern days by putting a nation in and fixing it in an attitude in which and attitude it makes as martial a figure and is likely to itself with as much as the renowned when suddenly equipped to defend his island of the sturdy peter eyed this ragged regiment with some such aspect as a man would eye the devil but knowing like a wise man that all be had to do was to	48
to believe him guilty of the infamous plot most laid at his door with a generosity for which i would yield them immortal honour they declared that no determination of the grand council of the league should bind the general court of to join in an offensive war which should appear to such general court to be unjust this refusal immediately involved the colony of and the other combined colonies in very serious difficulties and and would no doubt have produced a dissolution of the but that the council of finding that they could not stand alone if by the loss of so important a member as were fain to abandon for the present their hostile against the such is the marvellous energy and the of those composed of a number of sturdy self willed loosely together by a general government as it was however the warlike towns of had no cause to this disappointment of their martial j for by my faith though the col s new england horribly s combined powers of the league might have been too potent in the end for the warriors of the yet in the would the lion hearted peter and his have choked the heroes of with their own and have given the other little border towns such a that i warrant they would have had no stomach to on the land or the hen of a new for a century to come indeed there was more than one cause to di the attention of the good people of the east from their hostile purposes for just about this time were they horribly and harassed by the of the prince of darkness divers of whose subjects they detected lurking within their camp all of whom they as so many and dangerous enemies not to speak in we are informed that at this juncture the new england provinces were ex troubled by multitudes of who wrought strange devices to and distress the multitude and notwithstanding numerous judicious and bloody laws had been against all conversing or with the by way of or the like yet did the dark crime of continue to increase to an alarming degree that would almost belief were not the fact too well to be even doubted for an instant record of the mob what is particularly worthy of admiration is that this terrible art which so long has baffled the painful and studies of philosophers and other was chiefly confined to the most ignorant and ugly old women in the community who had scarcely more brains than the they rode upon when once an alarm is sounded the public who love dearly to be in a panic are not long in want of proofs to support it raise but the c y of yellow fever and immediately every head ache and and overflowing of the is pronounced the terrible in like manner in the present instance whoever was troubled with a or was sure to be and woe to any unlucky old woman that lived in his neighbourhood such a howling could not be suffered to remain long unnoticed and it accordingly soon attracted the fiery indignation of the sober and part of the community more especially of those who had evinced so much active benevolence in the of and the grand council of the publicly set their faces against so deadly and dangerous a sin and a severe scrutiny took place after those who were easily detected by devil s black cats and the circumstance of their only being able to weep three tears and those out of the left eye it is incredible the number of that instance op obstinacy detected for every one of which says the profound and cotton in that excellent work the history of new england we have such a sufficient evidence that no reasonable man in this whole country ever did question them and it mil be unreasonable to do it in any other indeed that and judicious historian john us with facts on this subject there are none he that beg in this country but there be too many bottle and others that produce many strange if you will believe report of a at sea with women and of a ship and great red horse standing by the main mast the ship being in a small to the eastward vanished of a sudden c the number of however and their devices were not more remarkable than their obstinacy though in the most solemn and affectionate manner to confess themselves guilty and be burnt for the good of religion and the entertainment of the public j yet did they most persist in asserting their innocence such incredible obstinacy was in itself deserving of immediate punishment and was sufficient proof if proof were necessary that they were in league with the devil new ng b ch s of who is itself but their judges were just and merciful and were determined to punish none that were not convicted on the best of tes not that they needed any evidence to satisfy their own minds for like true and experienced judges their minds were perfectly made up and they were thoroughly satisfied of the guilt of the prisoners before they proceeded to try tl em but still something was necessary to convince the community at large to quiet those who should come after in short the world must be satisfied oh the the world all the world knows the world of trouble the world is the worthy judges therefore were driven to the necessity of and making evident as noon day matters which were at the commencement all clearly understood and firmly decided upon in their own so that it may truly be said that the were burnt to gratify the of the day but were tried for the satisfaction of the whole world that should come after	48
them finding therefore that neither sound reason nor friendly entreaty had any avail on these hardened they resorted to the more urgent arguments of the torture and having absolutely wrung the truth from their stubborn lips they condemned them to undergo due unto the crimes they had confessed some even carried their all the ugly old women destroyed so far as to under the torture protesting their innocence to the last but these were looked upon as thoroughly and absolutely possessed by the devils and the pious only lamented that they had not lived a little longer to have perished in the flames in the city we are told that the plague was by a ragged old beggar to death whom pointed out as being the evil spirit that caused it and who actually showed himself to be a demon by changing into a dog in like manner and by measures equally sagacious a check was given to this growing evil the were all burnt banished or panic struck and in a little while there was not an ugly old woman to be found throughout new which is doubtless one reason why all the young women there are so handsome those honest folk who had suffered from their gradually recovered excepting such as had been afflicted with and which however assumed the less alarming aspects of and and the good people of new england the study of the turned their attention to the more profitable of trade and soon became expert in the art of turning a penny still however a tinge of the old is even unto this day in their characters occasionally start up among them in different dis as and the people at large show a a cleverness and a of wisdom that strongly of and it has been remarked that whenever any stones fall from the moon the greater part of them is sure to tumble into new england protecting care of st s chapter vii records the rise and m of a commander show ing that a man like a d up to greatness and importance by mere wind when treating of these times the unknown writer of the manuscript breaks out into a vehement in praise of the good st j to whose protecting care he entirely the strange that broke out in the council of the and the that prevailed in the east country whereby the hostile against the were for a time and his favourite city of new preserved from imminent peril and deadly warfare darkness and lowering superstition hung over the fair valleys of the east the pleasant banks of the no longer echoed with the sounds of rustic gaiety j and were seen in the air gliding haunted every wild brook and dreary strange voices made by forms were heard in desert and the border towns were so occupied in and the knowing old women that had produced these alarming appearances that for a while the province of von and its inhabitants were totally forgotten the great peter therefore finding that nothing as to be immediately apprehended from bis eastern neighbours turned himself about with a vigilance that ever distinguished him to put a stop to the of the my attentive reader will recollect had begun to be very troublesome towards the latter part of the reign of william the having set the of that little governor at naught and put the to a perfect peter however as has already been shown was a governor of different habits and turn of mind without more he immediately issued orders for raising a corps of troops to be stationed on the southern frontier under the command of general von this illustrious warrior had risen to great importance during the reign of and if histories speak true was second in command to the van when he and his ragged regiment were kicked out of fort good hope by the in consequence of having been in such a memorable affair and of having received more wounds on a certain honourable part that shall be nameless than any of his comrades he was ever after considered as a hero who had seen some service certain it is he enjoyed the unlimited confidence and friendship of william his character the who would sit for hours and listen with wonder to his of surprising he had never gained and dreadful battles from which he had run away it was observed by honest old that heaven had into some men at their birth a portion of intellectual gold into others of intellectual silver while others were furnished out with abundance of brass and iron now of this last class was undoubtedly the great general von and from the display he continually made thereof i inclined to think that dame nature who will sometimes be partial had blessed him with enough of those valuable materials to have fitted up a dozen ordinary but what is most to be admired is that he contrived to pass off all his brass and copper upon w who was no great j of base as pure and genuine gold the as that upon the resignation of van who after the loss of fort good hope like a general to live under the of his the mighty copper captain was promoted to his station this he filled with treat importance always himself commander in chief of the armies of the new though to tell the truth the armies or army consisted of a handful of hen stealing was the character of the warrior appointed y peter to defend his southern be n m cf im he so bis ity as so tbat be of bags of in an of to tbat his co o d bis be bad as brass and copper mid iu ul m nature had stored wm and and o of copper lace and	48
of and his melancholy end the general in an evil hour issued s long tail orders for the hair of both officers and men throughout the garrison now it came to pass that among his officers was one a sturdy who had cherished through the course of a long life a rugged of hair not a little resembling the of a with an like the handle of a pan and so tightly to his head that his eyes and mouth generally stood and his eyebrows were drawn up to the top of his forehead it may naturally be supposed that the possessor of so goodly an would resist with an order it to the on hearing the general orders he discharged a tempest of like oaths and and swore he would break any man s head who attempted to with his tail it than ever and it about the garrison as fiercely as the tail of a the skin of old became instantly an affair of the utmost importance the commander in chief was too enlightened an officer not to perceive that the discipline of the garrison the and good order of the armies of the the consequent safety of the whole province and ultimately the dignity and prosperity of their high the lords states general but above all the dignity of the great general von all demanded the of that stubborn he therefore determined that old t why he had a hole in his coffin i be publicly of his glories in presence of the whole garrison the old man as resolutely stood on the whereupon the general as became a great man was highly exasperated and the was arrested and tried by a court martial for desertion and all the other list of noticed in the articles of war ending with a in wearing an three feet long contrary to orders then came on and trials and and the whole country was in a about this unfortunate as it is well known that the commander of a distant frontier post has the power of acting pretty much after his own will there is little doubt but that the would have been hanged or shot at least had he not luckily fallen ill of a fever through mere and mortification and most deserted from all earthly command with his beloved locks his obstinacy remained to the very last moment when he directed that he should be carried to his grave with his skin sticking out of a hole in his coffin this affair obtained the general great credit as an excellent but it is hinted that he was ever after subject to bad dreams and fearful in the night when the of old would stand by his bed side erect as a pump his enormous out like the handle book iv containing the second part of the of peter the and his gallant achievements on the chapter i in is exhibited a portrait of the great peter and general von distinguished himself at fort hitherto most venerable and courteous reader have i shown thee the administration of the under the mild of peace or rather the grim tranquillity of awful expectation but now the war drum from afar the brazen trumpet its thrilling note and the rude clash of hostile arms speaks fearful of coming troubles the gallant warrior starts from soft repose from golden visions and ease where in the time of peace he sought sweet solace after all his toils no more in beauty s lap he fair for his lady s brows no more with flowers his shining sword nor through the live long lazy summer s day forth his soul in to i forth to manhood roused he the from his back the robe of peace and clothes his limbs in of steel his dark brow where late the waved where wanton roses breathed love he fears the beaming and nodding the bright shield and shakes the ponderous lance or with eager pride his fiery and for deeds of glorious chivalry but soft worthy reader i i would not have you imagine that any thus with iron in the city of new this is but a lofty and gigantic mode in which heroic writers always talk of war thereby to give it a noble and imposing aspect our warriors with and and like and weapons the like of which perchance they had never seen or beard of in the same manner that a cunning a modem general or an admiral in the of a or an alexander the simple truth then of all this flourish is this that the peter all of a sudden found it necessary to his blade which too long had in its and prepare himself to undergo those hardy toils of war in which his mighty soul so much delighted i at this moment behold him in my imagination or rather i behold his goodly portrait which still hangs up in the family mansion of the arrayed in all the terrors of a port true dutch general his coat of german blue decorated with a goodly show of large brass buttons reaching from bis to his chin the skirts turned up at the corners and separating gallantly behind so as to display the seat of a pair of coloured trunk breeches a graceful style still among the warriors of our day and which is in to the custom of ancient heroes who scorned to defend themselves in rear his face rendered exceeding terrible and warlike by a pair of black his hair out on each side in stiffly ear locks and descending in a rat ail below his waist a shining stock of black leather supporting his chin and a little but fierce cocked hat stuck with a gallant and fiery air over bis left eye such was the port of peter the and when he made	48
a sudden halt planted himself firmly on his solid with his wooden leg with silver a little in ad in order to strengthen his position his right hand grasping a gold headed cane his left resting upon the his sword his head dressing to the right with a most appalling and hard favoured frown upon his brow he presented altogether one of the most commanding looking and figures that upon canvas proceed we now to inquire the cause of this warlike preparation the disposition of the on of the the south or river has been duly recorded in the of the reign of william the these having been endured with that heroic which is the corner stone of true courage had been repeated and the who were of that class of cunning to christianity who read the bible down whenever it with their interests the golden and when their neighbour suffered them to him on the one cheek they generally smote him on the other also whether turned to them or not their repeated had been among the numerous sources of vexation that to keep the irritable of in a constant fever and it was only owing to the unfortunate circumstance that he had always a hundred things to do at once that he did not take such vengeance as their but they had now a of a different character to deal with and they were soon guilty of a piece of treachery that threw his honest blood in a and all further the governor of the province of new being either deceased or removed for of this fact some uncertainty exists was succeeded by a gigantic and who had he not been rather knock and footed might have served for the model of a or a he was no less than mighty the governor and withal as as he was so that in fact there is very little doubt had he lived some four or five centuries before he would have been one of those wicked giants who took such a cruel pleasure in distressed when about the world and them up in enchanted castles without a toilet a change of linen or any other convenience in consequence of which they fell under the high displeasure of chivalry and all true loyal and gallant knights were instructed to attack and outright any they might happen to find above six feet high j which is doubtless one reason that the race of large men is nearly extinct and the generations of latter ages so exceeding small no sooner did governor enter upon his office than he immediately cast his eyes upon the important post of fort and formed the righteous resolution of taking it into his possession the only thing that remained to consider was the mode of carrying his resolution into effect and here i must do him the justice to say that he exhibited a humanity rarely to be met with among leaders and which i have never seen equalled in modern times excepting among the english in their glorious affair at willing to spare the of blood and the miseries of open warfare he every thing like hostility or regular siege and resorted to the less glorious but more merciful expedient of treachery ms under pretence therefore of paying a visit to general von r at his new post of fort he made requisite preparation sailed in g eat state up the displayed his flag with the most and honoured the fortress with a royal salute previous to dropping anchor the unusual noise awakened a dutch who was faithfully at his post and who having his match to go out contrived to return the compliment by his rusty with the of a pipe which he borrowed from one of his comrades the salute would have been answered by the guns of the fort had they not unfortunately been out of order and the magazine deficient in accidents to which have in all ages been liable and which were the more in the present instance as fort had only been erected about two years and general von its mighty commander had been fully occupied with matters of much greater importance highly satisfied with this courteous reply to his salute treated the fort to a second for he well knew its commander was delighted with these little which he considered as so many acts of homage paid unto his greatness he then landed in great state attended by a of thirty men a prodigious and for a petty governor of a petty settlement in those days of primitive simplicity garrison of fort d to the full as great an army as generally the pomp and in the rear of our frontier at the present day the number in fact might have awakened suspicion had not the mind of the great von been so completely engrossed with an all idea of himself that he had not room to admit a thought besides in ct he considered the of s followers as a compliment to so apt are great men to stand between themselves and the sun and completely the truth by their own shadow it may readily be imagined how much general von was flattered by a visit from so august a personage his only embarrassment was how he should receive him in such a manner as to appear to the greatest advantage and make the most advantageous impression the main guard was ordered immediately to turn out and th e arms and of which the garrison possessed full half a dozen suits were equally distributed among the soldiers one tall fellow appeared in a coat intended for a small man the skirts of which reached a little below his waist the buttons were between his shoulders and the sleeves half way to his wrists so that his hands looked like a couple of huge and the coat not being large enough to meet	48
in front was linked together by made of a pair of red another had an old cocked hat stuck on the back of his head and decorated with array a bunch of tails a third had a pair of rusty hanging about his heels while a fourth who was short and duck legged was equipped in a huge pair of the cast off breeches which he held up with one hand while he grasped his with the other the rest were in similar style excepting three who had no shirts and but a pair and a half of breeches between them wherefore they were sent to the black hole to keep them out of view there is nothing in which the talents of a prudent commander are more completely than in thus setting matters off to the greatest advantage and it is for this reason that our frontier posts at the present day that of for example display their best suit of on the back of the who stands in sight of travellers his men being thus gallantly arrayed those who lacked and and every man being ordered to in his shirt tail and pull up his general von first took a sturdy draught of foaming ale which like the more of was his invariable practice on all great occasions which done he put himself at their head ordered the pine which served as a it as soon as he rose to make him strong and mighty he drank by the tale six pots of ale and a of a grand to be laid down and issued forth from his castle like a mighty giant just refreshed with wine but when the two heroes met then began a scene of warlike parade and courtesy that beggars all description who as i before hinted was a shrewd cunning and had grown gray much before his time in consequence of his saw at one glance the ruling passion of the great von and humoured him in all his their were accordingly drawn up in front of each other j they carried arms and they presented arms they gave the standing salute and the passing salute they rolled their drums they flourished their and they waved their colours they faced to the left and they faced to the right and they faced to the right about they wheeled forward and they wheeled backward and they wheeled into they marched and they by grand divisions by single divisions and by sub divisions by by sections and by in time in slow time and in no time at all for having gone through all the of two great armies including the eighteen of having exhausted all that they could recollect or imagine of military including sundry strange and irregular the like of which were never seen before or since excepting among certain of our newly raised the a a survey of the two great and their respective troops came at length to a dead halt completely exhausted by the toils of war never did two captains or two heroes in the renowned dies of tom thumb or any other and fighting tragedy their gallows looking duck legged with more glory and self admiration these military compliments being finished general von escorted his illustrious visitor with great ceremony into the foi tj attended him throughout the showed him the horn works crown works half and various other or rather the places where they ought to be erected and where they might be erected if he pleased plainly that it was a place of great and though at present but a little yet that it evidently was a formidable fortress ia this survey over he next had the whole garrison put under arms exercised and and concluded by ordering the three birds to be hauled out of the black hole brought up to the and soundly for the amusement of his visitor and to convince him that he was a great the cunning while he pretended to be struck dumb outright with the of the great von took silent note of the of his garrison of which he gave a an campaign int to his followers who tipped each other the wink and laughed most in their sleeves the inspection review and being concluded the party to the table for among his other great qualities the general remarkably to huge or rather and in one afternoon s campaign would leave more dead men on the field than he ever did in the whole course of his military many of these do still remain on record and the whole province was once thrown in by the return of one of his wherein it was stated that though like captain he had only twenty men to back him yet in the short space of six months he had conquered and utterly sixty oxen ninety one hundred sheep ten thousand one thousand of potatoes one hundred and fifty of small beer two thousand seven hundred and thirty five pipes seventy eight pounds of sugar forty bars of iron besides sundry small game poultry and garden stuff an achievement since the days of and his army and which showed that it was only necessary to let potent von and his garrison loose in an enemy s country and in a little while they would breed a famine and starve all the inhabitants no sooner therefore had the general received a a ban the first intimation of the it of governor than he ordered a great dinner to be and privately sent out a tf his most experienced to rob all the in the neighbourhood and lay the under contribution a service to which they had been long and which they discharged with such incredible zeal and that the garrison table groaned under the weight of their spoils i wish with all	48
that he was a great the cunning while he pretended to be struck dumb outright with the of the great von took silent note of the of his garrison of which he gave a an afternoon s campaign hint to his followers who tipped each other the wink and laughed most in their sleeves the inspection review and being concluded the party to the table for his other great qualities the general was to huge or and in one afternoon s campaign leave more dead men on the field than he ver did in the whole course of his military of these do still on record and the whole province was thrown in by the return of one of his wherein it was stated that though ike captain he had only twenty men to him yet in the short space of six months he conquered and utterly sixty oxen one hundred sheep ten thousand one thousand of potatoes one and fifty of small beer two seven hundred and thirty five pipes eight pounds of sugar forty of iron besides sundry small game and garden stuff an achievement since the days of and his army and which showed that it was necessary to let potent von his garrison loose in an enemy s country and n a little while they would breed a famine and all the inhabitants no sooner therefore had the general received a a s von s banquet the first intimation of the visit of governor than he ordered a great dinner to be prepared and privately sent out a of his most experienced to rob all the in the neighbourhood and lay the under contribution b service to which they had been long and which they discharged with such incredible zeal and that the garrison table groaned under the weight of their spoils i wish with all my heart my readers could see the von as he presided at the head of it was a sight worth beholding there he sat in his greatest glory surrounded by his soldiers like that famous wine alexander whose thirsty virtues he did most imitate telling stories of his adventures and heroic exploits at which though all his knew them to be most and outrageous yet did they cast up their eyes in admiration and utter many of astonishment nor could the general pronounce any thing that bore the remotest semblance to a joke but the stout would strike his fist upon the table till every glass rattled again throwing himself back in the chair and uttering gigantic of laughter swearing most horribly it was the best joke he ever heard in his life thus all was and and hideous within fort and so did von the bottle capture of fort that in less than four short hours he made himself and his whole garrison who all the deeds of their dead drunk and singing songs and drinking patriotic none of which but was as long as a or a plea in no sooner did things come to this pass than the and his who had kept themselves sober rose on their tied them neck and heels and took formal possession of the fort and all its depend in the name of queen of at the same time an oath of to all the dutch soldiers who could be made sober enough to swallow it then put the in order appointed his discreet and friend a tall water drinking to the command and departed bearing with him this truly amiable garrison and their commander who when brought to himself by a sound bore no little resemblance to a fish or sea monster caught upon dry land the of the garrison was done to prevent the of intelligence to new for as much as the cunning in his he dreaded the vengeance of the sturdy peter whose name spread as much terror in the neighbourhood as did that of the among his enemies the feminine qualities of fame chapter ii profound secrets are often brought to light the proceedings of peter the he heard of the mis of general von whoever first described common fame or rumour as belonging to the sex was a very owl for she has in truth certain feminine qualities to an astonishing degree particularly that benevolent anxiety to take care of the affairs of others which keeps her continually hunting after secrets and about them whatever is done openly and in the face of the world she takes but transient notice of but whenever a transaction is done in a corner and attempted to be in mystery then her goddess ship is at her wit s end to find it out and takes a most mischievous and lady like pleasure in it to the world it is this truly feminine that her continually to be into of princes listening at the key holes of chambers and peering through and when our worthy are sitting with closed doors between a dozen excellent modes of the nation it is this which makes her so to all wary and history of such a stumbling block to private and secret which she often by means and instruments which never would have been thought of by any but a female head thus it was in the case of the affair of fort no doubt the cunning imagined that by securing the garrison he should for a long time prevent the history of its fate from reaching the ears of the gallant but his was blown to the world when he least expected it and by one of the last beings he would ever have suspected of as to the deity this was one or a kind of on to the garrison who seemed to belong to nobody and in a manner to be self he was one of those vagabond who about the world as if they had no right or business in	48
it and who the skirts of society like and every garrison and country village has one or more of this kind whose life is a kind of whose existence is without motive who comes from the lord knows where who lives the lord knows how and seems to be made for no other earthly purpose but to keep up the ancient and honourable order of idleness this philosopher was supposed to have some indian blood in his veins which was manifested by a certain indian complexion and cast of countenance but more familiarly termed gallows by his and habits he was a tall fellow swift of foot and long he was generally equipped in a half indian dress with belt and his hair hung in straight gallows locks about his ears and added not a little to his it is an old remark that persons of indian mixture are half civilized half savage and half devil a third half being expressly provided for their par convenience it is for similar reasons and probably with equal truth that the back of are half man half horse and half by the on the and held accordingly in great respect and the above character may have presented itself to the garrison as to whom they familiarly gallows certain it is he acknowledged to no one was an utter enemy to work holding it in no manner of but about the fort depending upon for a getting drunk whenever he could get liquor and stealing whatever he could lay his hands on every day or two he was to get sound for some of his which however as it broke no bones he made very light of and not to repeat the offence whenever another opportunity presented sometimes in consequence of some he would from the garrison and be absent for a month at a time his manner of life about the woods and with a long piece on his shoulder lying in for game or himself down on the edge of a pond catching fish for hours together and bearing no little resemblance to that notable bird the mud when he thought his crimes had been forgotten or forgiven he would back to the fort with a bundle of skins or a bunch of poultry which perchance he had stolen and would exchange them for liquor with which having well soaked his he would lie in the sun and enjoy all the luxurious of that philosopher he was the terror of all the farm yards in the country into which he made fearful and sometimes he would make his sudden appearance at the garrison at daybreak with the whole neighbourhood at his heels like a scoundrel thief of a fox detected in his and hunted to his hole such was this and from the total indifference he showed to the world or its concerns and from his truly indian and no one would ever have that he would have been the of the treachery of when the was going on which proved so fatal to the brave von and his watchful garrison about from room to room being a kind of privileged or useless hound whom nobody noticed but though a fellow of few words yet like your people his eyes and ears were always open and in g his flight to new the course of his he overheard the whole plot of the immediately settled in his own mind how he should turn the matter to his own advantage he played the perfect both sides that is to say he made a prize of every thing that came in his reach robbed both parties stuck the copper bound cocked hat of the von on his head whipped a huge pair of s jack boots under his arms and took to his heels lust before the catastrophe and confusion at the garrison finding himself completely from his haunt in this quarter he directed his flight towards his native place new from whence he had formerly been obliged to in consequence of misfortune in business that is to say having been detected in the act of sheep stealing after wandering many days in the woods toiling through swimming various rivers and a world of hardships that would have killed any other being but an indian a man or the devil he at length arrived half and as a starved at where he stole a and over to new immediately on landing he repaired to governor and in more words than he had ever spoken before in the whole course of his life gave an account of the disastrous affair on receiving these tidings the peter for action peter started from his seat dashed the pipe he was smoking against the back of the chimney thrust a prodigious of tobacco into his left cheek pulled up his and strode up and down the room humming as was customary with him when in a passion a hideous north west but as i have before shown he was not a man to vent his in idle his first measure after the of wrath had subsided was to stump up stairs to a huge wooden chest which served as his from whence he drew forth that identical suit of described in the preceding chapter in these he arrayed himself like in the of maintaining all the while a most appalling silence knitting his brows and drawing his breath through his teeth being hastily equipped he strode down into the parlour jerked down his sword from over the fireplace where it was usually suspended but before he it on his he drew it from its and as his eye along the rusty blade a grim smile stole over his iron it was the first smile that had visited his countenance for five long weeks but every one who beheld it that there would soon be warm work in	48
the province thus armed at all points with war depicted in each feature his very cocked hat assuming an air of uncommon defiance he instantly put himself upon the alert and despatched he summons a council van hither and thither this way and that way through all the muddy streets and crooked lanes of the city by sound of trumpet his to in instant council this done by way of matters according to the custom of people in a hurry he kept in continual bustle shifting from chair to chair his head out of every window and up and down stairs with his wooden leg in such brisk and incessant motion that as we are informed by an historian of the times the continual clatter bore no small resemblance to the music of a a flour barrel a summons so and from a man of the governor s was not to be with the forthwith repaired to the council chamber seated themselves with the utmost tranquillity and lighting their long pipes gazed with composure on his and his being as all should be not easily or taken by surprise the governor looking around for a moment with a lofty and air and resting one hand on the of his sword and flinging the other forth in a free and spirited manner addressed them in a short but soul stirring i am extremely sorry that i have not the advantages of and others of my who were furnished as i am told with the speeches of all their great and taken down in short resolve on war hand by the most accurate of the tune whereby they were enabled wonderfully to their histories and delight their readers with sublime strains of eloquence not having such important i cannot possibly pronounce what was the tenor of governor s speech i am bold however to say from the tenor of his character that he did not wrap his rugged subject in and and other sickly of phrase but spoke forth like a man of nerve and vigour who scorned to shrink in words from those dangers which he stood ready to encounter in very deed this much is certain that he concluded by announcing his determination of leading on his troops in person and these from their quarters at fort to this hardy resolution such of his council as were awake gave their usual signal of and as to the rest who had fallen asleep about the middle of the their usual custom in the afternoon they made not the least objection and now was seen in the fair city of new a prodigious bustle and preparation for iron war parties marched hither and thither calling upon all the the and of the and its vicinity who had any ambition of six pence a day and immortal fame into the bargain to in the cause of glory for i would have you note that your warlike heroes who in the peter the rear of are generally of that illustrious class of gentlemen who are equal for the army or the the or the post for whom dame fortune has cast an even die whether they shall make their exit by the sword or the and whose deaths shall at all events be a lofty example to their countrymen but notwithstanding all this martial and invitation the ranks of honour were but supplied so averse were the peaceful of new from in foreign or stirring beyond that home which rounded all their earthly ideas upon beholding this the great peter whose noble heart was all on fire with war and sweet revenge determined to wait no longer for the assistance of these citizens but to muster up his merry men of the who brought up among woods and and savage beasts like our of delighted in nothing so much as desperate adventures and perilous through the wilderness thus he ordered his squire van to have his state prepared and duly which being performed he attended public service at the great church of st like a true and pious governor and then leaving orders with his council to have the chivalry of the out and appointed against his return departed upon his voyage up the waters of the description of his chapter iii containing peter voyage up the and wonders and delights of that river now did the soft breezes of the south steal sweetly over the face of nature the panting of summer into genial and warmth when that miracle of and virtue the peter spread his canvas to the wind and departed from the fair island of the in which he embarked was adorned with and of gorgeous which fluttered gaily in the wind or drooped their ends in the bosom of the stream the bow and of this majestic vessel were gallantly after the dutch fashion with figures of little with on their heads and bearing in their hands of flowers the like of which are not to be found in any book of being the flowers which flourished in the golden age and exist no longer unless it be in the of ingenious of wood and of canvas thus rarely decorated in style the state of the of the did the of peter ant forth upon voyage up the the bosom of the which as it rolled its broad waves to the ocean seemed to pause for a while and swell with pride as if conscious of the illustrious it sustained but trust me far other was the scene presented to the contemplation of the crew from that which may be witnessed at this day and savage majesty reigned on the borders of this mighty river the hand of cultivation had not as yet laid low the dark forests and tamed the features of the landscape nor had the frequent sail of commerce yet broken in upon the profound and awful solitude of	48
ages here and there might be seen a rude perched among the cliffs of the mountains with its curling column of smoke mounting in the transparent atmosphere but so situated that the of the savage children on the margin of the dizzy heights fell almost as faintly on the ear as do the notes of the lai k when lost in the vault of heaven now and then from the brow of some rocky precipice the wild deer would look timidly down upon the splendid as it passed below and then tossing his in the air would bound away into the of the forest through such scenes did the stately vessel of peter pass now did they skirt the of the rocky heights of which spring up like everlasting walls reaching from the waves unto the heavens and were fashioned if tradition delightful scenery may be believed in times long past by the mighty spirit to protect his favourite from the eyes of mortals now did they career it gaily across the vast expanse of bay whose wide extended shores present a vast variety of scenery here the bold crowned with trees ad into the bay there the long slope sweeping up from the shore in rich and in the precipice while at a distance a long waving line of rocky heights threw their gigantic shades across the water now would they pass where some modest little interval opening among these scenes yet retreating as it were for protection into the embraces of the neighbouring mountains displayed a rural paradise with sweet and pastoral beauties j the velvet lawn the the stealing through the fresh and vivid on whose banks was situated some little indian village or the rude cabin of some solitary hunter the different periods of the revolving day seemed each with cunning magic to a different charm over the scene now would the jovial sun break from the east blazing from the of the hills and sparkling the landscape with a thousand gems while along the borders of the river were seen heavy masses of mist which like midnight disturbed at his approach made a retreat rolling in sullen b b of sunset reluctance up mountains at such times all was brightness and life and the sphere seemed of an indescribable and the birds broke forth in wanton and the breezes the vessel merrily on her course but when the sun sunk amid a flood of glory in the west the heavens and the earth with a thousand then all was calm and silent and magnificent the late swelling sail hung against the mast the seaman with folded arms leaned against the lost in that involuntary musing which the sober grandeur of nature com in the of her children the vast bosom of the was like an reflecting the golden splendour of the heavens excepting that now and then a bark would steal across its surface filled with painted savages whose gay feathers glared brightly as perchance a lingering ray of the setting sun gleamed upon them from the western mountains but when the hour of twilight spread its magic mists around then did the face of nature assume a thousand fugitive charms which to the worthy heart that seeks enjoyment in the glorious works of its maker are the mellow light that prevailed just served to tinge with colours the softened of the scenery the deceived but delighted eye sought vainly to discern in the broad masses of shade the separating line between the land a twilight scene and water or to distinguish the fading objects that seemed sinking into chaos now did the busy fancy supply the of vision producing with industrious craft a fairy creation of her own under her the barren rocks frowned upon the watery waste in the semblance of lofty towers and high castles trees assumed the forms of mighty giants and the inaccessible of the mountains seemed peopled with a thousand shadowy beings now broke forth from the shores the notes of an innumerable variety of insects which filled the air with a strange but not concert while ever and anon was heard the melancholy of the whip poor will who perched on some lone tree wearied the ear of night with his incessant the mind soothed into a melancholy listened with pensive stillness to catch and distinguish each sound that vaguely echoed from the shore now and then startled perchance by the of some straggling savage or the dreary howl of a wolf stealing forth upon his nightly thus happily did they pursue their course until they entered upon those awful the it would that the gigantic had their war with heaven up on cliffs and vast masses of rock in wild confusion but in very different is the history of these cloud mountains these in ancient days b b ancient legends before the poured his waters from the formed one vast prison within whose rocky bosom the confined the rebellious spirits who at his control here bound in chains or in pines or crushed by ponderous rocks they groaned for many an age at length the conquering in his irresistible career towards the ocean burst open their prison house rolling his tide triumphantly through its ruins still however do many of them about their old j and these it is according to venerable legends that cause the echoes which throughout these awful j which are nothing but their angry when any noise the of their repose for when the elements are agitated by tempest when the winds are up and the thunder rolls then horrible is the yelling and howling of these troubled spirits making the mountains to with their hideous uproar for at such times it is said that they the great is returning once more to plunge them in gloomy and renew their intolerable but all these fair and glorious scenes were	48
lost upon the gallant naught occupied his mind but thoughts of iron war and proud of hardy deeds of arms neither did his honest crew trouble their vacant heads with punishment of any romantic speculations of the kind the pilot at the quietly smoked his pipe thinking of nothing either past present or to come of his comrades who were not under the were listening with open mouths to van who seated on the was relating to them the marvellous history of those of fire flies that sparkled like gems and upon the dusky robe of night these according to tradition were originally a race of who peopled these parts long before the memory of man being of that race emphatically called and who for their innumerable sins against the children of men and to furnish an awful warning to the sex were doomed to the earth in the shape of these threatening and terrible little enduring the internal of that fire which they formerly carried in their hearts and breathed forth in their words but now are to bear about for ever in their tails and now am i going to tell a fact which i doubt much my readers will hesitate to believe but if they do they are welcome not to believe a word in this whole history for nothing which it contains is more true it must be known then that the nose of the was of a very size boldly from his countenance like a mountain of being d i van ae a with and other precious the true of a king of good fellows which jolly to all who it heartily at the now thus it happened that bright and early in the morning the good having washed his was leaning over the quarter railing of the contemplating it in the wave below just at this moment the illustrious sun breaking in all his splendour from behind one of the high of the did dart one of his most potent beams full upon the of the of brass the reflection of which shot straightway down hissing hot into the water and killed a mighty that was sporting beside the vessel this huge monster being with infinite labour hoisted on board furnished a luxurious to all the crew being accounted of excellent excepting about the wound where it a little of and this on my was the first time that ever was eaten these parts by christian people when this astonishing miracle came to be made known to peter and that he tasted of the unknown fish he as may well be supposed the learned treating of the country about in a letter which was written some time after the settlement thereof says there is in the river great plenty of which we christians do not make use of but the indians eat them tt by op exceedingly and as t thereof he gave the name of s n ie to a stout in the and it had continued to be called s none ever but hold whither am i wandering by the mass if i attempt to accompany the good pet r on this voyage i shall never make an end for never was there a voyage so with marvellous incidents nor a river so with beauties worthy of being recorded even now i have it on the point of my pen to relate how his crew were most horribly frightened on going on shore above the by a gang of merry devils and on a i flat rock which projected into the river and which is called the to this very day but no it becomes thee not to idle thus in thy historic recollect that while dwelling with the fond of age over these fairy scenes to thee by the recollections of thy youth and the charms of a thousand tales which the simple ear of thy childhood recollect that thou art trifling with those fleeting moments which should be devoted to is not time time shaking with hand his almost exhausted before thee hasten then to pursue thy weary task lest the in the care of st last sands be run ere thou hast finished thy of the let us then commit the peter hi brave and his loyal crew to the protection of the blessed st who i have no doubts will prosper him in his voyage while we await his return at the great city of new warriors the grand army chapter iv j the powerful army that assembled at the city together the interview between peter the and general von and peter s sentiments touching unfortunate great men while thus the peter was with flowing sail up the shores of the and all the little dutch upon its borders a great and of warriors was at the city of new and here that invaluable fragment of antiquity the manuscript is more than commonly particular by which means i am enabled to record the illustrious host that itself in the public square in front of the fort at present the green in the centre then was pitched the tent of the men of battle of the who being the inmates of the metropolis composed the life guards of the governor these were commanded by the who had acquired such immortal fame at bay they displayed as a standard a on a field of orange j being the arms of the province s s the and the industry and the origin of the on their right hand might be seen the of that renowned michael who it over the fair regions of ancient and the lands away south even unto the mountains and was moreover of island his standard was borne by his squire van j consisting of a huge upon a sea green field j being the bearings of his favourite metropolis he	48
brought to the camp a stout force of warriors heavily armed being each clad in ten pair of breeches and by broad with short pipes twisted in their these were the men who in the mud along the shores of this was likewise the great seal of the new i as may still be seen in ancient records f besides what is related in the ms i have found mention made of this illustrious in another which says de or the squire michael a dutch subject about th s by deed purchased island n b the same michael had what the dutch call a at on the shore opposite new and his in s was named van a person of the same name in owned and a large farm at and is a from van j so called from the tribe of indians that inhabited these parts at present they are the or mountains the and van being of the race of genuine and were to have sprung from at a little distance was the tribe of warriors who came from the neighbourhood of hell gate these were commanded by the and the van hard as their names they were terrible looking fellows clad in broad skirted of that curious coloured cloth called thunder and lightning and bore as a standard three devil s needles in a flame coloured field hard by was the tent of the men of battle from the borders of the and the country these were of a sour aspect by reason that they lived on which abound in these parts they were the first of that honourable order of called i market j and if tradition speak true did likewise introduce the far step in dancing called double trouble they were commanded by the fearless and had moreover a jolly band of j men who performed a brave on shells but i refrain from pursuing this minute description which goes on to describe the warriors of and hawk and and sundry other places well known in history since into the the bay where the navy yard is situated f now van van and van and song for now does the sound of martial music alarm the people of new sounding afar from beyond the walls of the city but this alarm was in a little while relieved for lo from the midst of a vast cloud of dust they recognised the coloured breeches and splendid silver leg of peter glaring in the and beheld him approaching at the head of a formidable army which he had along the banks of the and here the excellent but writer of the manuscript breaks out into a brave and glorious description of the forces as they through the principal gate of the city that stood by the head of wall street first of all came the van who the pleasant borders of the these were short fat men wearing exceeding large trunk breeches and are renowned for of the they were the first of or and milk close in their rear marched the van of kill most horrible of new and in their liquor after them came the van of mounted upon goodly of the breed these were mighty hunters of and rats whence came the word then the van nests of robbers of birds nests as their name to these if report may be believed are we indebted for the invention of slap van and van or buck wheat cakes then the van of s creek these came armed with and rods being a race of who first discovered the marvellous sympathy between the seat of honour and the seat of intellect and that the shortest way to get knowledge into the head was to hammer it into the bottom then the van of s nose who carried their liquor in fair round little by reason they could not it out of their having such rare long noses then the of and distinguished by many triumphant such as water patches smoking out of their and the like and by being great lovers of pigs tails these were the ancestors of the renowned man of that name then the van of sing sing great and players upon the jews harp these marched two and two singing the great song of st then the of sleepy hollow these gave birth to a jolly race of who first discovered the magic of a of wine into a pint bottle then the van who lived on the wild banks of the and were great of wild ducks being much spoken of for their skill in shooting with the long bow then the van of and who were the first that did ever kick with the left foot they were gallant bush hunters of by moonlight then the van and van of potent of eggs and noted for running of horses and running up ef scores at they were the first that ever winked with both eyes at once lastly came the of the great town of where the folk lay stones upon the houses in windy weather lest they should be blown away these derive their name as some say from to shake and a indicating thereby that they were sturdy toss pots of but in truth it was derived from to nod and books plainly meaning that they were great or over books from them did descend the writer of this history such was the of sturdy bush that poured in at the grand gate of new the manuscript indeed speaks of many more whose names i omit to mention seeing that it me to hasten to matters of greater moment nothing could the joy and martial pride of the lion hearted peter as he this mighty host of warriors and he determined no longer to the	48
gratification of his much wished for revenge upon the scoundrel at fort but before i hasten to record those events which will be found in the of this faithful history let me pause to notice the fate of von the commander in chief of the armies of the new such is the inherent of return of von nature that scarcely did the news become public of his deplorable discomfiture at fort than a thousand were set afloat in new wherein it was that he had in reality a treacherous un with the commander that he had long been in the practice of privately communicating with the together with divers hints about secret service money to all which deadly charges i do not give a more credit than i think they deserve certain it is that the general his character by the most vehement oaths and and put every man out of the ranks of honour who dared to doubt his integrity moreover on returning to new he up and down the streets with a crew of hard at his heels sturdy bottle companions whom he and and who were ready to him through all the courts of justice heroes of his own fierce looking not one of whom but looked as though he could eat up an ox and pick his teeth with the horns these life guard men quarrelled all his quarrels were ready to fight all his battles and at every man that turned up his nose at the general as though they would him alive their conversation was with oaths like minute guns and every was rounded off by thundering like a patriotic toast honoured with a discharge of peter s advice to him all these had a considerable effect in convincing certain profound many of whom began to think the general a hero of unutterable and of soul particularly as he was continually protesting on the honour of a soldier a high sounding nay one of the members of the council went so far as to propose they should him by an statue of plaster of paris but the peter the was not thus to be deceived sending privately for the commander in chief of all the armies and having heard all his story with the customary pious oaths and comrade cried he though by your own account you are the most brave upright and honourable man in the whole province yet do you lie under the misfortune of being and despised now though it is certainly hard to punish a man for his misfortunes and though it is very possible you are totally innocent of the crimes laid to your charge yet as heaven at present doubtless for some wise purpose sees fit to withhold all proofs of your innocence far be it from me to its sovereign will beside i cannot consent to venture my armies with a commander whom they despise or to trust the welfare of my people to a champion whom they distrust retire therefore my friend from the irksome toils and cares of public life a hint ij this comforting reflection that if guilty you are but your just reward and if innocent you are not the first great and good man who has most been and in this wicked world doubtless to be better treated in a better world where there shall be neither error nor persecution in the mean time let me never see your face again for i have a horrible to the countenances of unfortunate great men like yourself c c thk author s chapter v in the author very after which is to he found much interesting history peter the and as my readers and myself are about entering on as many perils as ever a of knights ran their heads into it is meet that like those hardy we should join hands bury all differences and swear to stand by one another in or woe to the end of the enterprise my readers must doubtless perceive how completely i have altered my tone and since we first set out together i warrant they then thought me a cynical impertinent little son of a for i scarcely ever gave them a civil word nor so much as touched my when i had occasion to address them but as we along together in the high road of my history i gradually began to to grow more courteous and occasionally to enter into familiar discourse until at length i came to conceive a most social kind of regard for them this is just my way i am always a little cold and reserved at first particularly to people whom i neither know nor care for and am only to be completely won by long intimacy discourse of himself besides why should i have been to the crowd of how d ye do acquaintances that around me at my first appearance many were merely attracted by a new face and having stared me full in the title page walked off without saying a word while others lingered through the preface and having gratified their short lived curiosity soon dropped off one by one but more especially to try their i had recourse to an expedient similar to one which we are told was used by that flower of chivalry king arthur who before he admitted any knight to his intimacy first required that he should show himself superior to danger or hardships by unheard of some dozen giants wicked not to say a word of and fiery on a similar principle i led my readers at the first sally into two or three chapters where they were most and by a host of pagan philosophers and writers though naturally a very grave man yet could i scarce refrain from smiling outright at seeing the utter confusion and dismay of my some dropped down dead	48
public the poor nor indulging the not their security to devise new laws but faithfully those which were already made rather bending their attention to prevent evil than to punish it ever that civil should consider themselves more as of public morals than rat employed to public finally he them one and all high and low rich and poor to conduct themselves as well as could j assuring them that if they faithfully and complied with this golden rule there was no danger but that they would all conduct themselves well enough this done he gave them a paternal j the sturdy sounded a most loving farewell with his trumpet the jolly put up a shout of triumph and the invincible swept off proudly down the bay the good people of new crowded down to the that resort from whence so many a tender prayer has been so many a fair hand waved so many a tearful look been cast by love sick after the bark bearing her adventurous to distant here the watched with straining eyes the gallant as it slowly floated down the bay and when the intervening land at it arrives in the the shut it from their sight gradually dispersed with silent tongues and downcast a heavy gloom hung over the late bustling city the honest smoked their pipes in profound casting many a wistful look to the on the church of st and all the old women having no longer the presence of peter to them gathered their children home and the doors and windows evening at sun down in the meanwhile the of the sturdy peter proceeded on its voyage and after about as many storms and and and other horrors and phenomena as generally adventurous in perilous voyages of the kind and after a severe from that deplorable and malady called sea sickness the whole arrived safely in the without so much as dropping anchor and giving his wearied ships time to breathe after so long in the ocean the peter pursued his course up the and made a sudden appearance before fort having summoned the astonished garrison by a terrific blast from the trumpet of the long van he demanded in a tone of thunder an instant surrender of the fort to this demand the wind dried replied in a shrill voice which by reason of his peter attacks fort extreme sounded like the wind whistling through a broken that he had no very strong reason for refusing except that the demand was particularly disagreeable as he had been ordered to maintain his post to the last extremity he requested time therefore to with governor and proposed a for that purpose the peter indignant at having his fort so taken from him and thus withheld refused the proposed and swore by the pipe of st which like the sacred fire was never extinguished that unless the fort were surrendered in ten minutes he would storm the works make all the garrison run the and split their scoundrel of a commander like a to give this menace the greater he drew forth his sword and shook it at them with such a fierce and vigorous motion that doubtless if it had not been exceeding rusty it would have lightened terror into the eyes and hearts of the enemy he then ordered his men to bring a to bear upon the fort consisting of two three a long duck piece and two brace of horse in the mean time the sturdy van mar all his forces and commenced his warlike operations his cheeks like a very he kept up a most of his trumpet the of sing sing broke the garrison forth into a hideous song of battle the warriors of and the blew a potent and blast on their shells altogether forming as outrageous a as though five thousand french were displaying their skill in a modem whether the formidable front of war thus suddenly presented smote the garrison with sore or whether the concluding terms of the summons which mentioned that he should surrender at discretion were mistaken by who though a was a very considerate easy tempered man as a compliment to his discretion i will not take upon me to say j certain it is he found it impossible to resist so courteous a demand accordingly in the very nick of time just as the cabin boy had gone after a coal of fire to discharge the a was beat on the by the only drum in the garrison to the no small satisfaction of both parties who notwithstanding their great stomach for fighting had full as good an inclination to eat a quiet dinner as to exchange black eyes and bloody noses thus did this fortress once m re return to the of their high and his garrison of twenty men were allowed to march out with the honours of war and the victorious peter who was as generous as brave permitted them to keep possession of all their arms and the same on inspection being found totally unfit for service having long y op t i v p ban i fitted with um jt ii p hi or ir ne he bin i mt ot in the of ce the t unto bv the of the v ti the t in the city id new of who bad been enlightened by the political meetings that pre ed during the days of william the hot who had to indulge their under eye of their present ruler now his dared e en to give vent to their in the streets were heard in uie very council chamber of new and there is no knowing whether they would not have broken out into t speeches and had not peter privately sent home his walking to be laid as a on the of the council chamber in	48
the midst of his who like wise men took the hint mid for ever after held their peace a chapter vi showing the great advantage that the author has over his reader in time of battle together divers movements which that something terrible is about to happen like as a mighty when at a feast the first of soup his feels his impatient appetite but quickened and his vigorous attacks upon the while his eyes projecting from his head roll round devouring every thing at table so did the peter feel that intolerable hunger for martial glory which raged within his very by the capture of fort and nothing could it but the conquest of all new no sooner therefore had he secured his conquest than he resolutely on flushed with success to gather fresh at fort this was the grand post established on a small river or as it is termed creek of the same name and here that governor lay grimly drawn up like a gray bearded spider in the of his web this is at present a flourishing town called or about thirty seven miles from philadelphia on tlie post road to always pause before a battle but before we hurry into the scenes that must attend the meeting of two such potent it is advisable that we pause for a moment and hold a kind of warlike council battles should not be rushed into by the historian and his readers any more than by the general and his soldiers the great of antiquity never engaged the enemy without previously preparing the minds of their followers by them up to heroic feelings assuring them of the protection of the gods and inspiring them with a confidence in the of their leaders so the historian should awaken the attention and the passions of his readers and having set them all on fire with the importance of his subject he should put himself at their head flourish his pen and lead them on to the of the fight an illustrious example of this rule may be seen in that mirror of the immortal having arrived at the breaking out of the war one of his that he sounds the charge in all the disposition and spirit of he the on both sides he our expectations and fast our attention all mankind are concerned in the important point now going to be decided are made to disclose heaven itself is interested in the dispute the earth and nature seems to labour with the great event this is his solemn sublime of over readers manner of setting out thus he a war between two as them petty states and thus he a little subject by treating it in a great and noble method in like manner having conducted my readers into the very of peril having followed the adventurous peter and his band into foreign regions surrounded by foes and stunned by the horrid din of at this important moment while darkness and doubt hang o er each coming chapter i hold it meet to them and prepare them for the events that are to follow and here i would one great advantage which as the historian i possess over my reader and this it is that though i cannot save the life of my hero nor absolutely contradict the event of a battle both which liberties though often taken by the french writers of the present reign i hold to be utterly unworthy of a scrupulous historian yet i can now and then make him bestow on his enemy a sturdy back stroke sufficient to fell a giant though in honest truth he may never have done any thing of the kind or i can drive hia clear round and round the field as did make that fine fellow like a round the walls of for which if ever they have encountered one another in the fields i ll warrant the prince of poets has had to make the most humble apology i am aware that many conscientious readers will be ready to cry out foul play whenever i render by for broken heads a little assistance to my hero but i consider it one of those es exercised by of all ages and one which has never been disputed in fact an historian is as it were bound in honour to stand by his the fame of the latter is to his hands and it is his duty to do the best by it he can never was there a general an admiral or any other commander who in giving an account of any battle he had fought did not sorely the enemy and i have no doubt that had my heroes written the history of their own achievements they would have dealt much harder blows than any that i shall standing forth therefore as the guardian of their fame it me to do them the same justice they would have done themselves and if i happen to be a little hard upon the i give free leave to any of their descendants who may write a history of the state of to take fair and peter as hard as they please therefore stand by for broken heads and bloody noses my pen hath long for a siege after siege have i carried on without blows or but now i have at length got a chance and i vow to heaven and st that let the of the times say what they please neither sail us t nor any other historian did ever record a fight than that in which my are now about to engage van summons fort and you oh most excellent readers whom for your faithful i could cherish in the warmest corner of my heart be not uneasy trust the fate of our favourite to me for by the come what may stick	48
by hard to the last v l make him drive about these vile as did the renowned of the a herd of knights and if he does fall let me never draw my pen to fight another battle in behalf of a brave man if i don t make these pay for it no sooner had peter arrived before fort than he proceeded without delay to himself and immediately on running his first parallel despatched van to summon the fortress to surrender van was received with all due formality at the and conducted through a smell of salt fish and to the a substantial hut built of pine logs his eyes were here uncovered and he found himself in the august presence of governor this as i have before noted was a very man and was clad in a coarse blue coat round the waist with a belt which caused the enormous skirts and pockets to set off with a very warlike sweep his ponderous legs were in a pair of coloured jack boots and he was in the attitude of the of before a bit of broken looking glass d d interview with governor himself with a dull this operation caused him to make a series of horrible that heightened exceedingly the terrors of his on van s being announced the grim commander paused for a moment in the midst of one of his most hard favoured and after him over the shoulder with a kind of grin on his countenance resumed his labours at the glass this iron harvest being he turned once more to the and demanded the purport of his errand van delivered in a few words being a kind of short hand speaker a long message from his the whole history of the province with a of and of claims and concluding with a demand of instant surrender which done he turned aside took his nose between his thumb and finger and blew a tremendous blast not unlike the flourish of a trumpet of defiance which it had doubtless learned from a long and intimate neighbourhood with that melodious instrument governor heard him through trumpet and all but with infinite impatience leaning at times as was his usual custom on the of his sword and at times a huge steel watch chain or snapping his fingers van having finished he replied that peter and his summons might go to the governor s reply d whither he hoped to send him and his crew of before supper time then his brass sword and throwing away the fore he but i will not thee again until i make a of the smoke dried hide of this then having flung a fierce defiance in the teeth of his adversary by the lips of his messenger the latter was to the with all the civility due to the squire and of so great a commander and being again un blinded was courteously dismissed with a of the nose to assist him in his message no sooner did the gallant peter receive this insolent reply than he let fly a tremendous of red hot that would have battered down the and blown up the powder magazine about the ears of the fiery had not the been remarkably strong and the magazine proof perceiving that the works this terrific blast and that it was utterly impossible as it really was in those days to carry on a war with words he ordered his merry men all to prepare for an immediate assault but here a strange murmur broke out among his troops beginning with the tribe of the van those men of the and spreading from man to man accompanied with certain looks and discontented murmurs for once in his life d d the battle and only for once did the great peter turn for he thought his warriors were going t in this hour of perilous trial and thus tar for ever the fame of the province of but soon did he discover to his great joy tha in this suspicion he deeply wronged this most un army for the cause of this agitation and uneasiness simply was that the hour of dinner was at hand and it would have almost broken the hearts of these regular dutch warriors to have broken in upon the invariable routine of their habits beside it was an established rule among our ancestors always to fight upon a full stomach and to this may be doubtless attributed the circumstance that they came to be so renowned in arms and now are the hearty men of the and their no less hearty comrades all engaged under the trees stoutly with the contents of their and taking such affectionate embraces of their and as though they verily believed they were to be the last and as i foresee we shall have hot work in a page or two i advise my readers to do the same for which purpose i will bring this chapter to a close giving them my word of honour that no advantage shall be taken of this to surprise or in any wise the honest while at their vigorous on chapter vii the most horrible battle ever recorded in poetry or prose the admirable exploits of peter the now had the snatched a huge and finding themselves wonderfully encouraged and animated thereby prepared to take the field expectation says the writer of the manuscript expectation now stood on world forgot to turn round or rather stood still that it might witness the like a fat round watching the combat of two flies upon his the eyes of all mankind as usual in such cases were turned upon fort the sun like a little man in a crowd at a show about the heavens his head here and there and endeavouring to get a peep between the clouds that themselves in his way the filled their the	48
poets went without their dinners either that they might buy paper and goose or because they could not get any thing to eat antiquity out of its grave to see itself while even posterity stood mute gazing in gaping ecstasy of on the field g conduct of the heathen the immortal who had seen service at the affair of now mounted their feather bed clouds and sailed over the plain or mingled among the in different all to have a finger in the pie sent off his to a noted to have it up for the occasion swore by her she would the and in semblance of a the of fort accompanied by as a s widow of cracked reputation the noted bully stuck two horse pistols into his belt shouldered a rusty and gallantly at their elbow as a drunken while in their rear as a legged playing most out of tune on the other side the ox eyed who had gained a pair of black eyes over night in one of her curtain lectures with old displayed her haughty beauties on a baggage as a gin tucked up her skirts her fists and swore most in exceeding bad dutch having but lately studied the language by way of keeping up the spirits of the soldiers while halted as a club footed blacksmith lately promoted to be a captain of all was silent horror or bustling preparation war reared his horrid front loud his iron and shook his crest of of the hosts and now the mighty out their hosts here stood stout firm as a thousand rocks with and to the chin in mud his lined the breast work in grim array each having his fiercely and his hair back and so stiffly that he grinned above the like a death s head there came on the peter his brows knit his teeth set his fists almost breathing forth volumes of smoke so fierce was the fire that raged within his bosom his faithful squire van at his heels with his trumpet with red and yellow the of his fair at the then came on the sturdy chivalry of the there were the van and the van and the ten the van the van the van the van the van and the van the van the van the van the van the van and the van there were the van homes the van hooks the van the van the van and the van the the hoofs the the the pools and the there came the the the the the peter s address before the battle the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ten and the tough with a host more of whose names are too to be written or if they could be written it would be impossible for man to utter all fortified with a mighty dinner and to use the words of a great dutch poet of wrath and for an instant the mighty peter paused in the midst of his career and mounting on a stump addressed his troops in eloquent low dutch them to fight like and assuring them that if they conquered they should get if they should be allowed the satisfaction while dying of reflecting that it was in the service of their country and after they were dead of seeing their names inscribed in the temple of renown and handed down in company with all the other great men of the year for the admiration of posterity finally he swore to them on the word of a governor and they knew him too well to doubt it for a moment that if he caught any mother s son of them looking pale or playing he would his hide till terrific he made him run out of it like a snake in spring time then out his he it three times over his head ordered van to sound a tremendous charge and shouting the word st and the v dashed forwards his warlike followers who had employed the interval in lighting their pipes instantly stuck them in their mouths gave a furious puff and charged gallantly under cover of the smoke the garrison ordered by the cunning not to fire until they could distinguish the of their eyes stood in horrid silence on the covert way until the eager had ascended the then did they pour into them such a tremendous that the very hills around and were terrified even unto an of water that certain springs burst forth from their sides which continue to run unto the present day not a but would have bitten the dust beneath that dreadful fire had not the protecting kindly taken care that the should one and all observe their usual custom of shutting their eyes and turning away their heads at the moment of discharge the followed up their fire by leaping the and falling tooth and nail upon the foe with furious and now might be seen of of which neither history nor song have ever recorded a parallel here was of beheld the sturdy his quarter staff like the terrible giant his oak tree for he scorned to carry any other weapon and a tune upon the heads of whole of there were the van posted at a distance like the of and it most with the long bow for which they were so justly renowned at another place were collected on a rising the men of sing sing who assisted in the fight by forth the great song of st but as to the of they were absent from the battle having been sent out on a party to lay waste the neighbouring water patches in a different part of the field might be seen the van of s nose but they	48
were horribly perplexed in a between two little hills by reason of the length of their noses there were the van of and so renowned for kicking with their left foot but their skill availed them little at present being short of wind in consequence of the hearty dinner they had eaten and they would have been put to had they not been by a gallant corps of composed of the who advanced to their assistance on one foot nor must i omit to mention the achievements of van who for a good quarter of an hour stubborn he combat ht with a little whose hide he most and had he not come into the battle with no other weapon but his trumpet would have put him to an end but now the combat on came the mighty and the fighting men of the after them thundered the van of together with the van and the van bearing down all before them then the and the van pressing forward with many a oath at the head of the warriors of hell gate clad in their thunder and lightning and lastly the standard and body guards of peter bearing the great of the and now commenced the horrid din the desperate struggle the ferocity the frantic desperation the confusion and self of war and panted and the heavens were darkened with a tempest of bang went the guns struck the broad swords went the crash went the stocks blows black eyes and bloody noses swelling the horrors of the scene thick cut and hack head over heels rough and tumble and swore the and cried the advance of michael storm the works shouted peter fire the mine roared stout ra ra the trumpet of van until all voice and sound became unintelligible of pain of fury and shouts of triumph in one hideous the earth shook as if struck with a stroke trees shrunk aghast and withered at the sight rocks in the ground like and even creek turned from its course and ran up a mountain in breathless terror long hung the conquest doubtful for though a heavy shower of rain sent by the cloud compelling jove in some measure cooled their as doth a bucket of water thrown on a group of fighting yet did they but pause for a moment to return with fury to the charge each other with black and bloody just at this juncture was seen a vast and dense column of smoke slowly rolling towards the scene of battle which for a while made even the furious to stay their arms in mute astonishment but the wind for a moment the cloud from the midst thereof emerged the banner of the immortal michael this noble came on leading a solid of fed who had remained behind partly as a corps de reserve j and partly to the enormous dinner they had eaten these sturdy nothing did forward destruction of tobacco pipes s smoking their pipes with outrageous vigour so as to raise the awful cloud that has been mentioned but marching exceedingly slow being short of and of great in the belt and now the protecting of the army of having left the field md into a neighbouring tavern to refresh with a pot of beer a catastrophe lad well nigh chanced to the had the of the the front of battle before the by the cunning a of blows full at their tobacco pipes as at this unexpected assault and totally at seeing their pipes broken the fell in vast confusion already hey begin to fly like a frightened drove of un they throw their own army in an bearing down a whole of little hop ers the sacred banner on which is the of is trampled in the the pluck up new spirits and pressing on their rear apply their feet a a vigour that their motions nor doth the renowned himself fail o receive divers grievous and of shoe leather but what oh muse was the rage of the gallant peter when from afar he saw his army yield with a voice of thunder did he roar after his warriors the men of the heroic of peter plucked up new courage when they heard their or rather they dreaded his fierce displeasure of which they stood in more awe than of all the in but the daring peter not waiting for their aid plunged sword in hand into the of the foe then did he display some such incredible achievements as have never been known since the miraculous days of the giants wherever he went the enemy shrunk before him with fierce he pushed forward driving the like dogs into their own ditch but as he advanced the foe thronged in his rear and hung upon his flank with fearful peril one advancing on one side drove his sword full at the hero s heart but the protecting power that watches over the safety of all great and good men turned aside the hostile blade and directed it to a side pocket where an enormous iron tobacco box endowed like the shield of with supernatural powers no doubt in consequence of its being decorated ith a portrait of the blessed st thus was the dreadful blow but not without to the great peter a fearful loss of wind like as a furious bear when by turns fiercely round his teeth and springs upon the foe so did our hero turn upon the treacherous the miserable sought in flight for safety but the active peter seizing him by an that from his h the fight lead ah roared he here is what shall make dog s meat of thee o saying he whirled his sword and made i blow that would have	48
him but that he pitying steel struck short and shaved the ever from his crown at this very moment a running perched on the summit of a mound his deadly and would have sent the gallant i wailing ghost to haunt the shore had lot the watchful who had just stopped x tie up her saw the great peril of her chief and despatched old with lis who in the very nick of time just as the match descended to the pan gave such a lucky blast as blew all the from the touch hole thus the horrid fight when the stout surveying the battle from the top of a little perceived his faithful troops beaten and kicked by the invincible peter language cannot describe the with which he was seized at the sight he only stopped for a moment to himself of five thousand and then drawing his down to the field of combat with some such thundering strides as is said by to have taken when he strode down the to his at the no sooner did these two rival heroes come face to face than they each made a prodigious start his dreadful combat with peter such as is made by your most experienced stage then did they regard each other for a moment with bitter aspect like two furious ram cats on the very point of a then did they throw themselves in one attitude then in another striking their swords on the ground first on the right side then on the left at last at it they went with incredible ferocity words cannot tell the of strength and displayed on this encounter an encounter compared to which the far battles of with of with with of with the or of that renowned knight sir of the mountains with the giant were all gentle sports and holiday at length the peter watching his opportunity aimed a fearful blow with the full intention of his adversary to the very but raising his sword it off so narrowly that glancing on one side it shaved away a huge that he always carried swung on one side thence pursuing its course it severed off a deep coat pocket stored with bread and cheese all which rolling among the armies occasioned a fearful between the and and made the general battle to wax ten times more furious than ever enraged to see his military stores thus laid waste the stout collecting all his forces aimed a mighty blow full at the hero s peter s fall and what broke it crest in vain did his fierce little cocked hat oppose its course the biting steel through the stubborn ram and would have cracked his crown but that the skull was of such hardness that the weapon into pieces shedding a thousand sparks like beams of glory round his stunned with the blow the peter turned up his eyes and beheld fifty thousand besides and stars dancing the at length missing his footing by reason of his wooden leg down he came on his seat of honour with a crash that shook the surrounding hills and have wrecked his system had he not been received into a cushion softer than velvet which providence or or st or some kindly cow had prepared for his reception the furious in despite of that noble cherished by all true knights that fair play is a jewel hastened to take advantage of the hero s fall j but just as he was stooping to give the fatal blow the ever peter bestowed him a sturdy over the with his wooden that set some dozen of bells ringing triple bob in his the bewildered staggered with the blow and in the mean time the wary peter a pocket pistol lying hard by which had dropped from the of his faithful squire and van during his furious encounter w ith the e e victory f it at the head c the let not my reader mistake it was not a weapon loaded with powder and bad but a little sturdy stone charged to th with a double of true dutch courage which the knowing van always carried about him by way of his the hideous sung through the air and to its as the of a rock discharged at by bully the huge head of the gigantic with i ss this heaven directed decided ei battle the ponderous of sunk upon his breast his knees him a tor seized upon his giant frame and he tumbled to the earth with such tremendous violence that old started with lest he should through the roof of his infernal palace his fall was the signal of defeat and the gave the dutch pressed the former took to their heels the hotly pursued some entered with through the sally others the and scrambled over the thus in a little while the of fort which like another had stood a siege of ten as finally ed by assault without the loss of a single man on either side victory in the likeness of a c of fort ox fly sat perched upon the cocked hat of the gallant and it was universally by all the writers whom he hired to write the history of his expedition that on this memorable day he gained a sufficient quantity of glory to a dozen of the greatest heroes in i i i i r b bj ns anticipated chapter viii in which the author and the reader while after the fa battle into a very grave discourse after which is the conduct of peter after his victory thanks to st we have safely finished this tremendous battle let us sit down my worthy reader and cool ourselves for i am in a prodigious sweat and agitation truly this fighting of battles is hot work and if your great did but know	48
of the campaign with accuracy saving that he took the credit of fighting the whole battle himself and especially of the stout which he considered himself as clearly entitled to seeing that it was effected by his own stone the throughout the town gave holiday to their little who followed in after the drums with paper caps on their heads and sticks in their breeches thus taking the first lesson in the art of war as to the sturdy they thronged at the heels of peter wherever he went waving their greasy hats in the air and shouting hard for ever it was indeed a day of roaring and a huge dinner was prepared at the in honour of the where were assembled in one glorious the great and the little of new there were this castle though very much altered and is still in and stands at the corner of pearl street facing s slip the and the with their s at their the officers at the elbow of the and so on to the lowest on of police every having his rag at his side to his pipe drink off his heel and laugh his flights of immortal in short for a city feast i a city feast all the world over and b n a feast ever since the e dinner went off much the as do and fourth of ban of flesh and fowl were of liquor drank thousands of pipes s many a dull joke with j sided laughter i must m t to n tl ia ti blamed victory m of his many o y d v e honest with his a ven o that they him with name of pie er tiiat is to say pe er great or as it was translated by the people of j which he maintained even unto the day of his death i j m book containing the third part of the reign of peter the his troubles with the british nation and the and fall of the dutch chapter h peter relieved the sovereign people from the of taking care of the nation ith sundry particulars of his in time of peace the history of the reign of peter a melancholy picture of the incessant cares and inseparable from government and may serve as a solemn warning to all who are ambitious of the seat of power though crowned with victory enriched by conquest and returning in triumph to his metropolis his exultation was checked by beholding the sad that had taken place during the short interval f his a the for their own had n a deep draught of the cup of power during the reign of william the and upon the accession of peter they felt with a certain instinctive perception which as well as cattle popular di c possess that the reins of government had passed into stronger hands yet could they not help and and upon the bit in silence it seems by some strange and inscrutable to be the destiny of most countries and more especially of your enlightened always to be governed by the most man in the nation so that you will scarcely find an individual throughout the whole community who cannot point out innumerable errors in administration and convince you in the end that had he been at the head of matters would have gone on a thousand times more strange that government which seems to be so generally understood should invariably be so administered strange that the talent of so bestowed should be denied to the only man in the nation to whose station it is requisite thus it was in the present instance not a man of all the herd of in new but was an on topics of state and could have directed public affairs better than peter but so severe was the old governor in his disposition that he would never suffer one of the multitude of able by whom he was surrounded to intrude his advice and save the country from destruction scarcely therefore had he departed on his expedition against the than the old of william s reign began to thrust their heads above water and to gather together in political meetings to discuss the state of the nation at these the busy and their made a very considerable figure these worthy were no longer the fat well fed tranquil that presided in the peaceful days of van on the contrary being elected by the people they formed in a manner a sturdy between the mob and the administration they were great for popularity and for the rights of the resembling in disinterested zeal the wide mouthed of ancient rome or those virtuous of modern days emphatically the friends of the people under the of these profound it is astonishing how suddenly enlightened the multitude became in matters above their and s all at once felt themselves inspired like those religious in the glorious times of illumination and without any previous study or experience became instantly capable of directing all the movements of government nor must i neglect to mention a number of wrong headed old who had come over when boys in the crew of the and were held up as by the enlightened mob to suppose that a man who had helped to f f peter s reproof discover a country did not know how it ought to be governed was preposterous in the extreme it would have been deemed as much a as at the present day to question the political talents and universal of our old heroes of and to doubt that he who had fought for a government however stupid he might naturally be was not competent to fill any station under it but as peter had a singular inclination to govern his province without the assistance of his subjects he felt highly on his return to	48
find the appearance they had assumed during his absence his first measure therefore was to restore perfect order by the dignity of the sovereign people he accordingly watched his opportunity and one evening when the enlightened mob was gathered together listening to a patriotic speech from an inspired the peter all at once appeared among them with a countenance sufficient to a the whole meeting was thrown into consternation the orator seemed to have received a stroke in the very middle of a sublime sentence and stood aghast with open mouth and trembling knees while the words horror tyranny liberty rights taxes death destruction and a of other patriotic phrases came roaring from his throat before he had power to close his lips the shrewd peter took no notice of the throng around him but advancing to the bully and to a patriotic drawing out a huge silver watch which might have served in times of as a town clock and which is still retained by his descendants as a family curiosity requested the orator to mend it and set it going the orator humbly confessed it was utterly out of his power as he was with the nature of its construction nay but said peter try your ingenuity man you see all the springs and wheels and how easily the hand may stop it and pull it to pieces and why should it not be equally easy to as to stop it the orator declared that his trade was wholly different that he was a poor and had never with a watch in his life that there were men skilled in the art whose business it was to attend to those matters but for his part he should only mar the and put the whole in confusion why master of mine cried peter turning suddenly upon him with a countenance that almost the of shoes into a perfect dost thou pretend to with the movements of government to and correct and patch and a complicated machine the principles of which are above thy comprehension and its simplest operations too subtle for thy understanding when thou not correct a trifling error in a common piece of the whole mystery of which is open to thy inspection hence with thee to the leather and stone which are of thy head thy shoes and confine to the for which heaven f f his terrific threat has fitted thee but his voice until it made the ring if ever i catch thee or any of thy tribe again with affairs of government by st but til have every mother s of ye d alive and your hides stretched for drum heads that ye may make a noise to some purpose this threat and the tremendous voice in which it was uttered caused the whole multitude to with fear the hair of the orator arose on his head like his own swine s and not a knight of the present but his heart died within him and he felt as though he could have verily escaped through the eye of a needle but though this measure produced the desired effect in the community to order yet it tended to injure the popularity of the great peter among the enlightened vulgar many accused him of entertaining highly aristocratic sentiments and of leaning too much in favour of the indeed there appeared to be some ground for such an accusation as he always carried himself with a very lofty soldier like port and was somewhat particular in his dress dressing himself when not in uniform in simple but rich apparel and was especially noted for having his sound leg which was a very comely one always arrayed in a red and high shoe though a man of great simplicity of manners yet there was something about him that rude familiarity while it encouraged frank and even social intercourse peter s court he likewise observed some appearance of court ceremony and etiquette he received the common class of visitors on the stoop before his door according to the custom of our dutch ancestors but when were formally received in his parlour it was expected they would appear in clean linen j by no means to be bare footed and always to take their hats off on public occasions he appeared with great pomp of for in truth his station required a little show and dignity and always rode to church in a yellow with flaming red wheels these symptoms of state and ceremony occasioned considerable discontent among the vulgar they had been accustomed to find easy access to their former and in particular had lived on terms of extreme familiarity with william the they therefore were very impatient of these dignified precautions which intrusion but peter had his own way of thinking in these matters and was a of the dignity of he always maintained that government to be the least popular which is most open to popular access and control and that the very against court ceremony and the reserve of men in power would soon despise rulers among whom they found even themselves to be of consequence properly the porch commonly built in front of dutch es with benches on each side mysteries of such at least had been the case with the administration of william the who bent on making himself popular had listened to every man s advice suffered every body to have to his person at all hours and in a word treated every one as his thorough equal by this means every and public busy body was enabled to measure wits with him and to find out the true dimensions not only of his person but his mind and what great man can stand such scrutiny it is the mystery that great men that gives them half their greatness we are always inclined to think highly of those who hold themselves aloof	48
from our examination there is likewise a kind of superstitious reverence for office which leads us to the merits and abilities of men in power and to suppose that they must be constituted different from other men and indeed faith is as necessary in politics as in religion it certainly is of the first importance that a country should be governed by wise men then it is almost equally important that the people should believe them to be wise j for this belief alone can produce willing to keep up therefore this desirable confidence in rulers the people should be allowed to see as little of them as possible he who gains access to soon finds out by what foolishness the world is governed he that there is in as well as in every thing else that many a measure which is supposed by the peter looked to with reverence to be the result of great wisdom and deep deliberation is the effect of mere chance or perhaps of hare experiment that rulers have their and errors as well as other men and after all are not so wonderfully superior to their fellow creatures as he at first imagined since he finds that even his own opinions have had some weight with them thus awe into confidence confidence familiarity and familiarity produces contempt peter on the contrary by conducting himself with dignity and was looked up to with great reverence as he never gave his reasons for any thing he did the public always gave him credit for very profound ones every movement however unimportant was a matter of speculation and his very red excited some respect as being different from the stockings of other men to these times may we refer the rise of family pride and aristocratic distinctions and indeed i cannot but look back with reverence to the early planting of those mighty dutch families which have taken such vigorous root and out so in our state the blood which has flowed down through a succession in a work published many years after the time here treated of in by c w a m it is mentioned that was counted the richest in new york and was said to have of indian money or and had a son and daughter who according to the dutch custom should divide it equally family of steady virtuous generations since the times ci the of must certainly be pure and worthy and if so then are the van the van the van homes the the the the and all the true descendants of the ancient the only legitimate nobility and real lords of the soil i have been led to mention thus particularly the well claims of our genuine dutch families because i have noticed with great sorrow and vexation that they have been somewhat aside in latter days by foreign it is really astonishing to behold how many great families have sprung up of late years who pride themselves excessively on the score of thus he who can look up to his father without humiliation not a little he who can safely talk of his grandfather is still more vain but he who can look back to his great grandfather without blushing is absolutely intolerable in his pretensions to family bless us what a piece of work is here between these of an hour and these a day but from what i have in the former part of this chapter i would not have my reader imagine that the great peter was a governor ruling his subjects with a rod of the contrary where the dignity of authority was not he with generosity custom of eggs and courteous condescension in fact he really believed though i fear my more enlightened republican readers will consider it a proof of his ignorance and that in preventing the cup of social life from being dashed with the of politics he promoted the tranquillity and happiness of the people and by their minds from subjects which they could not understand and which only tended to their passions he enabled them to attend more faithfully and to their proper becoming more useful citizens and more attentive to their families and fortunes so far from having any unreasonable he delighted to see the poor and the man rejoice and for this purpose was a great of holidays and public amusements under his reign was first introduced the custom of eggs at or new year s day was also observed with extravagant and ushered in by the ringing of bells and firing of guns every house was a temple to the jolly god of cherry brandy true and were set afloat on the occasion and not a poor man in town but made it a point to get drunk out of a principle of pure economy taking in liquor enough to serve him for half a year afterwards it would have done one s heart good also to have seen the peter seated among the old and their wives of a saturday afternoon exhibition by a young under the great trees that spread their shade over the battery watching the young and women as they danced on the green here he would smoke his pipe crack his joke and forget the rugged toils of war in the sweet of peace he would occasionally give a nod of approbation to those of the young men who and kicked most vigorously and now and then give a hearty in all honesty of soul to the that held out longest and tired down all her which he considered as proofs of her being the best once it is true the harmony of the meeting was rather interrupted a young of great figure in the gay world and who having lately come from holland of course led the fashions in the city made her appearance in not more than half a dozen and these	48
to march at the head of a potent force of the roaring boys of together with a great and mighty train of giants who the banks of the and to lay waste and the whole country of south river by this it is manifest that this boasted colony we find very curious and wonderful accounts of these strange people who were doubtless the ancestors of the present made by master in his interesting history the he are a people strange in proportion behaviour and attire their voice sounding from them as if out a cave their tobacco pipes were three quarters of a yard long carved at the great end with a bird or other device to beat out the of a horse and how many are beaten out or rather men s smoked out and in by our lesser pipes at home the of one of their measured three quarters of a yard about the rest of his limbs master s danger of c like all great of territory soon became a greater evil to the conqueror than the loss of it was to the conquered and caused greater uneasiness and trouble than all the territory of the new besides thus providence orders that one evil shall balance another the conqueror who the property of his neighbour who wrongs a nation and a country though he may acquire increase of empire and immortal fame yet his own inevitable punishment he takes to himself a cause of endless anxiety he with his late sound domain a loose part a rotten her which is an source of internal treason and and external and hostility happy is that nation which compact united loyal in all its parts and concentrated in its strength seeks no idle acquisition of and territory which content to be prosperous and happy has no ambition to be great it is like a man well organized in bis system sound iii health and full of vigour by useless and fixed in an attitude but the nation of territory whose are scattered feebly united and weakly organized is like a senseless among golden stores open to attack and unable to defend the riches he vainly to at the time of receiving the alarming from south river the great peter was busily em calm in the south in certain indian troubles that had broken out about and was moreover meditating how to relieve his eastern borders on the he however sent word to to be of good heart to maintain incessant vigilance and to let him know if wore a more threatening appearance in which he would repair with his warriors of the to spoil the merriment of these merry for he exceedingly to have a bout hand to hand with some half a score of these giants having never encountered a giant in his whole life unless we may so call the stout and he was but a little one nothing further however occurred to the tranquillity of and his colony and his remained at home it soundly upon cakes bacon and and running horses and fighting for which they were greatly renowned at of this peter was very well pleased or notwithstanding his inclination to measure with these monstrous men of the yet he had already as much employment home as he could turn his hands to little he think worthy soul that this southern calm as but the to a most terrible md fatal storm then which was tt forth and the f new now so it was that while this excellent governor g g the was ng his little laws and not only giving them but them he was incessantly travelling the rf his beloved province from place to place to and while busy at one comer of his all the rest getting into an uproar at this very time i say a dark and dot was against him in that nursery of monstrous projects the british cabinet the news of his achievements on the according to a sage old historian of new had occasioned not a little talk and marvel in the courts of europe and the same profound writer us that the cabinet of england began to entertain great jealousy and uneasiness at the increasing power of the and the of its sturdy agents the same historian were sent by the council of the east to entreat the assistance of the british cabinet in this mighty province lord sterling also asserted his right to long island and at the same time lord whose agent as has before been mentioned had so alarmed laid his claim before the cabinet to the lands of south river which he complained were and forcibly detained from him by these daring of the thus did the unlucky empire of the stand in imminent danger of the fate of and being torn limb from limb to to ns w be shared among its savage neighbours but these powers were their and waiting for the signal to fall tooth and nail upon this delicious little fat dutch empire the lion who sat as all at settled the claims of all parties by laying his own upon the spoil for we are told that his majesty charles the second not to be perplexed by these several pretensions made a present of a large tract of north america including the province of new to his brother the duke of york a truly royal since none but great have a right to give away what does not belong to them that this gift might not be merely his majesty on the th of march ordered that an should be forthwith prepared to the city of new by land and water and put his brother in complete possession of the premises thus are situated the affairs of the new the honest so far from thinking of the in which their interests are placed are smoking	48
their pipes and thinking of nothing at all the of the province are at this moment in full while the active peter who takes all the labour of thinking and acting upon himself is busily some method of bringing the grand council of to terms in the mean while an angry cloud is darkly on the g g ng and honour of a noble minded old forward then to the shine out stars on the renowned the and may the blessing of go with thee honest peter the cause of glory er iii peter s expedition into the east showing that though an old bird he did not understand trap great nations resemble great men in this particular that their greatness is seldom known until they get in trouble therefore has been wisely the ordeal of true greatness which like gold can never receive its real estimation until it h s passed through the furnace in proportion therefore as a nation a community or an individual possessing the inherent quality of greatness is involved in perils and misfortunes in proportion does it rise in grandeur and even hen sinking under calamity makes like a house on fire a more glorious display than ever it did in the fairest period of its prosperity tlie vast empire of china though with population and and the of nations has through a succession of drowsy ages and were it not for its internal revolution and the of its ancient government by the might have presented nothing but an uninteresting detail of dull monotonous prosperity and might ave passed into oblivion with a herd of their if they had not been fortunately overwhelmed by a the renowned city f t importance of of has acquired only from its ten years distress and final paris rises in importance by the plots and have ended in the exaltation of the illustrious napoleon and even the mighty london itself has through the records of time celebrated for nothing of moment excepting the plague the great fire and s plot thus cities and seem to creep along in silent obscurity under the pen of the historian until at length they burst forth in some tremendous calamity and snatch as it were immortality from the explosion the above principle being admitted my reader will plainly perceive that the city of new and its dependent province are on the high road to greatness dangers and threaten from every side and it is really a matter of to me how so small a state has been able in so short a time to itself in so many difficulties ever since the province was first taken by the nose at the fort of good hope in the tranquil days of van has it been gradually increasing in historic importance and never could it have had a more appropriate to conduct it to th of grandeur than peter in the fiery heart pf this iron headed old warrior sat all those five kinds of courage described by and had the philosopher mentioned five hundred more to the back of them i verily believe he would have been found master peter s romantic resolution of them all the only misfortune was that he was deficient in the better part of called discretion a cold blooded virtue which could not exist in the tropical climate of his mighty soul hence it was he was continually hurrying into those unheard of that give an air of romance to all his history and hence it was that he now conceived a project worthy of the hero of la himself this was no other than to repair in person to the great council of the bearing the sword in one hand and the olive branch in the other to require immediate for die innumerable of that treaty which in an evil hour he had formed to put a stop to those repeated on the eastern or else to throw his and appeal to arms for satisfaction on declaring this resolution in his council the venerable members were seized with vast astonishment for once in their lives they ventured to setting forth the of exposing his sacred person in the midst of a strange and barbarous people with sundry other all which had about as much influence upon the determination of the peter as though you were to endeavour to turn a rusty with a broken therefore to his presence his van he commanded him to hold himself in readiness to accompany him the morning on this bis enter he forth now the was a little stricken in years yet by dint of keeping up a good heart and having never known care or sorrow having never been married he was still a hearty wag and of great capacity in the this last was ascribed to his living a jolly life on those at the hook which peter had granted to him for his gallantry at fort be this as it may there was nothing that more delighted than this command of the great peter for he could have followed the stout hearted old governor to the world s end with love and loyalty and he moreover still remembered the and dancing and and other of the east country and entertained dainty recollection of numerous kind and whom he longed exceedingly again to encounter thus then did this mirror of set forth with no other attendant but his upon one of the most perilous ever recorded in the annals of knight for a single warrior to venture openly among a whole nation of foes but above all for a plain downright to think of with the whole council of new england never was there known a more desperate undertaking ever since i have entered upon the of this but hitherto has he kept me in a state pf incessant action and anxiety witb t ie toils	48
and dangers he is constantly oh i for a chapter of the tranquil reign of attended by van van that i might repose on it as on a feather bed is it not enough peter that i have once already rescued thee from the of these terrible by bringing the l hole powers of to thine aid is it not that i have followed thee like a guardian spirit into the midst of the horrid battle of fort that i have been put incessantly to my to keep thee safe and sound now off with my single pen the of blows that fell upon thy narrowly thee from a deadly thrust by a mere tobacco box now thy skull with when even thy stubborn ram failed to resist the sword of the stout ri and now not merely bringing thee but from the of the gigantic by the desperate means of a paltry stone is not all this enough but must thou still be plunging into new difficulties and in headlong thy and thy historian and now the ruddy faced like a draws aside the able curtains of the night and out from his bed the jolly red startled at being caught so late in the embraces of dame with many a stable oath he his brazen footed and and lashes and up the ment like a post boy half an hour behind his time and now behold that of fame and peter s and mark the peter a gallantly in full and on his that brass sword which had wrought such fearful deeds on the banks of the behold hard after him his van mounted on a broken ed mare his stone which had laid low the mighty under his arm and his trumpet displayed in his right hand decorated with a gorgeous banner on which is the great of the see them proudly issuing out of the city gate like an iron clad hero of with his faithful squire at his heels the following them with their eyes and shouting many a parting wish and hearty cheering farewell hard farewell honest pleasant be your way prosperous your return the hero that ever drew a sword and the that ever trod shoe leather legends are silent about the events that our in this their adventurous travel excepting the manuscript which gives the substance of a pleasant little heroic poem written on the occasion by who appears to have been the poet this was moreover of the latin school in there are two pieces addressed to in d s of upon his m r with old ms their perilous of new this manuscript us that it was a rare spectacle to behold the great peter and his loyal the morning sun and rejoicing in the clear of nature as they it through the pastoral scenes of which in those days was a sweet and rural valley with many a bright wild flower refreshed by many s pure and here and there by a little dutch cottage sheltered under some sloping hill and almost buried in trees now did they enter upon the of con where they encountered many grievous difficulties and perils at one place they were assailed by a troop of country and who mounted on hung upon their rear for several miles them exceedingly with and questions more especially the worthy peter whose silver chased leg excited not a little marvel at another place hard by the renowned town of they were set upon by a great and mighty of church who demanded of them five for travelling on sunday and threatened to carry them captive to a neighbouring church whose peered above the trees but these the peter put to with little difficulty that they their and now called blooming about four miles j york how were received off in horrible confusion leaving their cocked hats behind in the hurry of their flight but not so easily did he escape from the hands of a man of who with perseverance and repeated fairly him out of his goodly leaving in place thereof a but all these hardships they pursued their journey cheerily along the course of the soft flowing whose gentle waves says the song roll through many a fertile and sunny plain now reflecting the lofty of the bustling city and now the rural beauties of the humble hamlet now echoing with the busy hum of commerce and now with the cheerful song of the peasant at every town would peter who was noted for warlike order the to sound a courteous salutation though the manuscript that the inhabitants were thrown into great dismay when they heard of his approach for the fame of his achievements on the had spread th rough out the and they dreaded lest he had come to take vengeance on their manifold but the good peter rode through these towns with a smiling aspect waving his hand with majesty and condescension for he verily believed that the old clothes which these in with joy and admiration l people had thrust into their broken win and the of dried apples and ornamented the fronts of their houses were o many in honour of his approach as it was the custom in the days of chivalry to renowned heroes by of and gorgeous furniture the women crowded to the doors to gaze upon him as he passed so much does in arms delight the gentle sex the little children too ran after bim in troops staring with wonder at his his breeches and the silver of his wooden leg nor must i omit to mention the joy which many betrayed at beholding the jovial van who bad delighted them so much with his trumpet when he bore the great peter s challenge to the the kind hearted alighted from his mare and kissed them all with infinite loving kindness and was right pleased	48
to see a crew of little crowding around him for his blessing each of whom he patted on the head bade him be a good boy and gave him a to buy the manuscript makes but little fur ther mention of the governor s adventures upon this expedition excepting that he was received with extravagant courtesy and respect by the great council of the who almost talked him to death with complimentary and i will not detain my readers by dwelling on his with the it to mention it was like all other a great deal was said and very little done one conversation led to another one conference which it took a dozen to explain at the end of which the parties found themselves just where they were at first excepting that they had entangled themselves in a host of questions of etiquette and conceived a cordial distrust of each other that rendered their future ten times more difficult than ever in the midst of all these which bewildered the brain and the ire of the sturdy peter who was perhaps of all men in the world least fitted for he privately received the first intimation of the dark conspiracy which had been in the cabinet of england to this was added the intelligence that a hostile had already sailed from england destined to reduce the pro of new and that the grand council of had engaged to co operate by sending a great army to new by land unfortunate peter did i not enter with sad upon this ill expedition did for certain of the particulars of this ancient see col state it is singular that smith is entirely silent with respect to this memorable expedition of peter his imminent i not tremble when i saw thee with no other but thine own head with no other but an honest tongue a conscience and a rusty sword with no other protector but st and no other attendant but a did i not tremble when i beheld thee thus sally forth to contend with all the knowing powers of new england oh how did the sturdy old warrior rage and roar when he found himself thus like a lion in the hunter s toil now did he determine to draw his sword and to fight his way through all the countries of the east now did he resolve to break in upon the council of the and put every mother s son of them to death at length as his wrath subsided he resorted to safer though less glorious concealing from the council his knowledge of their he privately despatched a messenger with to his at new them of the impending danger commanding them immediately to put the city in a posture of defence while in the mean time he would endeavour to his enemies and come to their assistance this done he felt himself relieved rose slowly shook himself like a and issued forth from his den in much the same manner as giant despair is described to have issued from doubting castle in the history of the pilgrim s progress new in an uproar and now much does it grieve me that i must leave the gallant peter in this imminent but it us to hurry back and see what is going on at new for greatly do i fear that city is already in a such was ever the fate of peter while doing one thing with heart and soul he was too apt to leave every thing else at and while like a of he was absent attending to those things in person which in modern days are trusted to and his little territory at home was sure to get in an uproar ah which was owing to that uncommon strength of intellect which induced him to trust to nobody but himself and which had acquired him the renowned of peter the of war chapter iv he people of new dam were thrown into a great hy the news of a threatened invasion y and the manner in h they fortified themselves is no sight more truly interesting to a than to contemplate a community e every individual has a voice in public s where every individual thinks himself the of the nation and where every individual s it his duty to himself for the good of i say there is nothing more to a philosopher than to see such a in a sudden bustle of war such a such a of patriotism such ing hither and thither every body in a r every body up to the ears in trouble body in the way and every body industrious neighbour who is busily in doing nothing it is like witnessing at fire where every man is at work like o some dragging about empty engines s with full and contents into the boots of their and others ringing the church bells all by way of putting out the fire little n like sturdy little knights a h h all in a bustle breach up and down and through tin trumpets by way of directing the attack here one busy fellow in his great zeal to save the property of the unfortunate catches up an chamber and it off with an air of as much self importance as if he had rescued a pot of money another throws looking glasses and china out of the window to save them from the those who can do nothing else to assist the great calamity run up and down the streets with open throats keeping up an incessant cry of fire fire fire when the news arrived at says the grave and profound though i own the story is rather that philip was about to attack them the inhabitants were thrown into violent alarm some ran to up their arms others rolled	48
stones to build up the walls every body in short was employed and every body was in the way of his neighbour alone was the only man who could find nothing to not to be idle when the welfare of his country was at stake he tucked up his robe and fell to rolling his tub with might and main up and down the in like manner did every mother s son in the patriotic community of new on receiving the of peter busy himself most in putting things in confusion and assisting the general uproar every man panic at new the manuscript flew to arms by which is meant that not one of our honest dutch citizens would venture to church or to market without an old fashioned spit of a sword dangling at his side and a long dutch piece on his shoulder nor would he go out of a ni ht without a lantern nor turn a corner without first peeping cautiously round lest he should come unawares upon a british we are informed that who was by the old women almost as brave a man as the governor himself actually had two mounted in his entry one pointing out at the front door and the other at the back but the most measure resorted to on this awful occasion and one which has since been found of wonderful was to popular meetings these i have already shown were extremely offensive to peter but as this was a moment of unusual agitation and as the old governor was not present to repress them they broke out with intolerable violence hither therefore the and repaired and there seemed to be a competition among them who should the and exceed the others in bursts of patriotism and in resolutions to and defend the government in these and all powerful meetings it was determined that they were the most enlightened the most dignified the most formidable and the most ancient h h popular community upon the face of the earth finding that this resolution was so universally and readily carried another was immediately proposed whether it were not possible and to great britain upon which sixty nine members spoke most in the affirmative and only one arose to suggest some doubts who as a punishment for his presumption was immediately seized by the and and which punishment being equivalent tor the rock he was afterwards considered as an outcast from society and his opinion went for nothing the question therefore being carried in the affirmative it was recommended to the grand council to pass it into a law which was accordingly done by this measure the hearts of the people at large were wonderfully encouraged and they exceedingly and indeed the first of alarm having in some measure subsided the old women having buried all the money they could lay their hands on and their husbands daily getting with what was the community began even to stand on the offensive songs were in low dutch and sung about the streets wherein the english were most beaten and shown no quarter and popular addresses were made wherein it was proved to a certainty that the fate of old england depended upon the will of the new a patriotic finally to strike a violent blow at the very of great britain a multitude of the wiser inhabitants assembled and having purchased all the british they could find they made thereof a huge and in the patriotic glow of the moment every man present who had a hat or breeches of english pulled it off and threw it most into the flames to the loss and ruin of the english in of this great they erected a pole on the spot with a device on the top intended to represent the province of destroying great britain under the of an eagle picking the little island of old england out of the globe but either through the of the or timed it bore a striking resemblance to a goose vainly striving to get hold of a of council chapter v showing the grand council of the new to be gifted with long tongues together n great triumph economy it will need but very little penetration in any one acquainted with the character and habits of that most potent and monarch the sovereign people to discover that notwithstanding all the bustle and talk of war that stunned him in the last chapter the renowned city of new is in sad reality not a whit better prepared for defence than before now though the people having gotten over the first alarm and finding no enemy immediately at hand had with that of tongue for which your illustrious is so famous run into the opposite extreme and by dint of gallant and had actually talked themselves into the opinion that they were the and most powerful people under the sun yet were the of peter somewhat on that point they dreaded moreover lest that stem hero should return and find that instead of obeying his orders they had wasted their time in listening to the of the mob than which t long windy speeches they well knew there was nothing he held in more exalted contempt to make up therefore as speedily as possible for lost time a grand of the and was to talk over the critical state of the province and devise measures for its safety two things were agreed upon in this venerable assembly first that the city required to be put in a state of defence j and secondly that as the danger was imminent there should be no time lost which points being settled they immediately fell to making long speeches and one another in endless and for about this time was this unhappy city first visited by that talking so universally in this country and which	48
down to the now there was nothing in all the world the divine sex that van loved better than errands of this kind so just stopping to take a dinner and to his side his bottle well charged with he issued from the that looked out upon what is at present called broad way sounding as usual a farewell strain that rung in echoes through the winding streets of new alas never more were they to be by the melody of their favourite it was a dark and stormy night when the good arrived at the famous creek river which the island of from the main land the wind was high the elements were in an uproar a corruption of top o called from a tribe of indians which boasted fighting men see s history his x and no could be found to the adventurous of brass across the water for a short time he like an impatient ghost upon the brink and then himself of the of his errand took a hearty embrace of his stone bottle swore most that he would swim across en den in spite of the devil and plunged into the stream scarce had he over when he was observed to struggle violently as if with the spirit of the waters instinctively he put his trumpet to his mouth and giving a vehement blast sunk for ever to the bottom the potent of his trumpet like the horn of the renowned when in the glorious field of rung far and wide through the country alarming the neighbours round who hurried in amazement to the spot here an old dutch for his and who had been a witness of the fact related to them the melancholy affair with the fearful addition to which i am slow of giving belief that he saw the in the shape of a huge moss seize the sturdy by the leg and drag him beneath the waves certain it is the place with the adjoining which projects into the has been called den or devils ever since the restless ghost of the unfortunate still haunts the surrounding and his trumpet grief of th has often been heard by the neighbours of a stormy night mingling with the howling of the blast nobody ever attempts to swim over the creek after dark on the contrary a bridge has been built to guard against such melancholy accidents in future and as to moss they are held in such that no true will admit them to his table who good fish and hates the devil such was the end of van a man deserving of a better fate he lived and soundly like a true and jolly bachelor until the day of his death but though he was never married yet did he leave behind some two or three dozen children in different parts of the country fine little from whom if legends speak true and they are not apt to lie did descend the innumerable race of who people and defend this country and who are paid by the people for keeping up a constant alarm and making them miserable would that they inherited the worth as they do the wind of their the tidings of this lamentable catastrophe imparted a pang to the bosom of peter than did even the invasion of his beloved it came home to those sweet affections that grow close around the heart and are nourished by its warmest current as some pilgrim while the tempest at s through his locks and dreary night is gathering around stretched cold and lifeless his faithful dog the sole companion of his who had shared his solitary meal and so often licked his h nd in humble gratitude so did the hearted hero of the plate the end of his faithful he had been the humble attendant of his footsteps he had cheered him in many a heavy hour by his honest gaiety and had followed him in loyalty and affection through many a scene of peril and he was gone for ever and that too at a moment when cur seemed from his side this peter this was the moment to try thy fortitude and this was the moment when thou indeed shine forth peter the the glare of day had long the horrors of the last stormy night still all was dull and gloomy the late jovial hid his face behind clouds peeping out now and then for an instant as if anxious yet fearful to see what was going on in his favourite city this was morning when the great peter was to give his reply to the summons of the already was he with his council sitting in im state brooding over the fate of his favourite and anon boiling with indignation aa the insolence of his flashed upon his mind while in this state of irritation a arrived in all haste from the subtle governor of him fr b a in the most affectionate and disinterested manner to surrender the province and the dangers and to which a refusal would subject him what a moment was this to intrude advice upon a man who never took advice in his whole life the fiery old governor strode up and down the chamber with a vehemence that made the of his to with awe railing at his unlucky fate that thus made him the constant butt of subjects and just at this ill chosen juncture the who were now completely on the watch and had heard of the arrival of mysterious came marching in a resolute body into the room with a of and at their heels and abruptly demanded a perusal of the letter thus to be broken in upon by what he esteemed a rascal and that too at the very moment	48
he was grinding under an irritation from abroad was too much for the of the peter he tore the letter in a thousand pieces threw it in the face of the nearest broke his pipe over the head of the next hurled his box at an unlucky who was just making a retreat out at the door and finally the whole meeting die by kicking them down stairs with his wooden leg as soon as the could recover history of n y with his wooden leg the confusion into which their sudden exit had thrown them and had taken a little time to breathe they protested against the conduct of the governor which they did not hesitate to pronounce highly and somewhat they then called a public meeting where they read the protest and addressing the assembly in a set speech related at full length and with appropriate colouring and exaggeration the and of the governor declaring that for their own parts they did not value a straw the being kicked and by the timber toe of his but they felt for the dignity of the sovereign people thus rudely insulted by the outrage committed on the seats of honour of their representatives the latter part of the had a violent effect upon the sensibility of the people as it came home at once to that delicacy of feeling and jealous pride of character in all true who though they may bear injuries without a murmur yet are jealous of their sovereign dignity and there is no knowing to what act of resentment they might have been provoked against the peter had not the greasy been somewhat more afraid of their sturdy old governor than they were of st the english or the d himself a sublime spectacle chapter mil peter defended the city of for several days hy dint of the strength of his head there is something exceedingly sublime and melancholy in the spectacle which the present crisis of our history presents an illustrious and venerable little city the metropolis of an immense extent of country by a host of and old women governed by a determined and strong headed warrior and fortified by mud and resolutions by sea by land and threatened with desolation from without while its very are torn with internal and commotion never did historic pen record a page of more complicated distress unless it be the strife that distracted the during the siege of where parties were cutting each other s throats at the moment hen the victorious of had down their and were carrying fire and sword into the very of the temple having triumphantly as s gallant letter been recorded put his grand council to the and thus delivered himself from a multitude of impertinent despatched a reply to the of the wherein he asserted the right and title of their high the lords states general to the province of new and trusting in the of his cause set the whole british nation at defiance my anxiety to my readers and myself from these disastrous scenes prevents me from giving the whole of this gallant letter which concluded in these manly and affectionate terms as touching the threats in your conclusion we have nothing to answer only that we fear nothing but what god who is as just as shall lay upon us all things being in his gracious disposal and we may as well be pre served by him with small forces as by a great army which makes us to wish you all happiness and prosperity and recommend you to his pro my lords your thrice humble and servant and friend p thus having resolutely thrown his the brave peter stuck a pair of horse pistols in his an immense powder horn on his side thrust his sound leg into a boot and clapping his fierce little war hat on the top of his head up and down in front of his house determined to defend his beloved city to the last k k tf ib tiie i h v bin il v i ed ite d m i idle j to im t the s and r wit ib t s to i i i i that man to the of hb of hb and his that he be suffered to hb wear as breeches as he j and bricks t and stone from instead of them on the that he should on no account be compelled to learn the english e or keep in than by casting them up on his fingers and them down upon the crown of his hat as is still observed among the dutch at the present day that every man should be allowed quietly to inherit his father s hat coat shoe pipe and every other personal and that no man should be obliged to to any inventions or any other modem but on the contrary should be permitted to build the are his house follow his trade manage his farm rear his and his children precisely as his ancestors did before him since time finally that he should have all the benefits of free trade and should not be required to acknowledge any other saint in the than saint who should as before be considered the saint of the city these terms as may be supposed appeared very satisfactory to the people who had a great to enjoy their property and a most singular aversion to engage in a contest where they could gain little more than honour and broken heads the first of which they held in philosophic indifference the latter in utter by these means therefore did the english succeed in the confidence and affections of the from their gallant old governor whom they considered as bent upon running them into hideous and did	48
not hesitate to speak their minds freely and abuse him most heartily behind his back like as a mighty who though assailed and by roaring waved and still ke on an course and though overwhelmed by boisterous still es from the troubled deep and blowing with violence so did the peter pursue his determined career and rise contemptuous above the of the k k but when the british warriors by the tenor of his reply that he set their power at defiance they forthwith despatched officers to and and and and and all those towns on long island which had been subdued of by the immortal stirring up the of preserved fish and determined cock and those other illustrious to the city of new by land in the mean while the hostile ships made awful preparation to commence an assault by water the streets of new now presented a scene of wild dismay and consternation in vain did the gallant order the citizens to arm and in the public square or market place the whole party of short pipes in the course of a single night had changed into old women a only to be by the recorded by as having happened at rome at the approach of when statues in pure were converted into sheep and turning into ran about the streets the harassed peter thus from without and tormented from within by the and at by the and growled and raged like a furious bear tied to a stake and worried by a of scoundrel finding however that all further attempts to defend the city were vain and hearing that an d on of and moss was ready to him from the east he was at length compelled in spite of his proud heart which swelled in his throat until it had nearly choked him to consent to a treaty of surrender words cannot express the of the people on receiving this agreeable intelligence had they obtained a conquest over their enemies they could not have indulged greater delight the streets with their congratulations they their governor as the father and of his country they crowded to his house to testify their gratitude and were ten times more noisy in their than when he returned with victory perched upon his from the glorious capture of fort but the indignant peter shut his doors and windows and took refuge in the recesses of his mansion that he might not hear the of the in consequence of this consent of the governor a was demanded of the forces to treat of the terms of surrender accordingly a of six was appointed on both sides and on the th august a highly favourable to the province and honourable to peter was agreed to by the enemy who had conceived a high of the of the men of the and the and unbounded discretion of their governor p mj al one thing remained which that th articles of surrender should be and signed by the governor when the respectfully waited upon him for this purpose they were received by the hardy old warrior with the most grim and bitter courtesy his warlike were laid aside an old indian night gown was wrapped about his rugged limbs a red his frowning brow an iron grey beard of three days growth gave additional to his thrice did he seize a little worn out stump of a pen and essay to sign the paper thrice did he his teeth and make a most horrible countenance as though a dose of and had been offered to his lips at length dashing it from him he seized his sword and it from the swore by st he d sooner die than yield to any power under heaven in vain was every attempt to shake this sturdy resolution were exhausted to no purpose for two whole days was the house of th peter by the and for two whole days did he partake himself to his arms and persist in a refusal to the at length the finding that boisterous measures did but incense more determined opposition themselves of an humble expedient by which happily the governor s ire might be to sion the and his resolution and a solemn and mournful head by the and and by the moves slowly to the governor s bearing the here they found the stout old hero drawn up like a giant into hi castle the doors strongly and himself in full with his cocked hat on his head firmly posted with a at the garret window there was something in thia formidable position that struck even the vulgar with awe and admiration the multitude could ot but reflect with self upon their own conduct when they beheld their but deserted old governor thus faithful to post like a forlorn hope and fully prepared to defend his ungrateful city to the last these however were soon overwhelmed by the tide of public apprehension the arranged them selves before the house taking off their hats with most respectful r who was of that popular class of described by as being rather than eloquent stepped forth and addressed the governor in a speech of three hours length in the most pathetic terms the situation of the province and urging him in a constant repetition of the same arguments and to sign the finally the mighty peter eyed him from his little garret window in grim silence now and then his eye would glance over the surrounding and an indignant grin like that of an angry would mark his iron but though he was a man of most though he had a heart as big as an ox and a head that would have set to scorn yet after all he was a mere mortal wearied out by these repeated and this eternal and perceiving that unless he complied	48
the inhabitants would follow their inclinations or rather their fears without waiting for his consent he ordered them to hand him up the paper it was accordingly hoisted to him on the end of a pole and having his name at the bottom of it he them all for a set of cowardly threw the at their heads down the window and was heard down stairs with the most vehement indignation the took to their heels even the were not slow in the premises fearing lest the sturdy peter might issue from his den and greet them with some unwelcome of his displeasure within three hours after the surrender a of british beef fed warriors poured into new taking possession of the fort and and now might be heard from all quarters the sound of made by the old dutch of the british who were busily employed up their doors and windows to protect their from these fierce whom they contemplated in silent from the garret windows as they through the streets thus did colonel richard the commander of the british forces enter into quiet possession of the conquered realm as for the duke of york the victory was attended with no other outrage than that of changing the name of the province and its metropolis which were new york and so have continued to be called unto the present day the inhabitants according to treaty were allowed to maintain quiet possession of their property but so did they retain their of the british nation that in a private meeting of the leading citizens it was determined never to ask any of their to dinner g of a chapter ix k the dignified retirement and of peter the thus then have i concluded this great but be re i lay my weary there yet remains to be d one pious if among the vi o readers that may there should b any of those souls of true nobility which glow with celestial fire at the history of the generous and the brave they will doubtless be anxious to know the fate of the gallant peter to gratify one such sterling heart of gold i would go more than to instruct the cold blooded curiosity of a whole of philosophers no sooner had that high signed the articles of than determined not to witness the humiliation of his favourite city he turned his back on its walls and made a growling retreat to his or country seat which y as situated about two miles off where he passed the remainder of his days in retirement there he enjoyed that tranquillity of mind which he had never known amid the cares of government and tasted the sweets of absolute and authority which his his conduct subjects had so often dashed with the bitterness of opposition no could ever induce him to the on the contrary he would always have his great arm chair placed with its back to the windows which looked in that direction until a thick grove of trees planted by his own hand grew up and formed a screen that effectually excluded it from the prospect he continually at the and improvements introduced by the forbade a word of their detested language to be spoken in his family a readily obeyed since none of the household could speak any thing but dutch and even ordered a fine avenue to be cut down in front of his house because it consisted of english cherry trees the same incessant vigilance that blazed forth when he had a vast province under his care showed itself with equal vigour though in limits he with around the boundaries of his little territory every with punished every upon his orchard or his farm yard with and conducted every stray or cow in triumph to the pound but to the hour the stranger or the weary his spacious doors were ever open and his fire place that emblem of his own warm and generous heart had always a ner to receive in his and cherish them there was an exception to this i must confess in case the ill was an en or a yankee to whom though he might extend the hand of assistance he could never be brought to yield the rites of hospitality nay if venture some straggling merchant of the east should stop at his door with his cart load of tin ware or wooden the fiery peter would issue forth like a giant from his castle and make a furious among his pots and that the of notions was fain to himself to instant flight his handsome suit of worn by the brush were carefully hung up in the state bed chamber and the first fair day of every month and his cocked hat and sword were suspended in grim repose over the parlour mantle piece forming to a full length portrait of the renowned admiral von in his domestic empire he maintained strict discipline and a well organized government but though his own will was the supreme law yet the good of his subjects was his constant object he watched over not merely their immediate comforts but their morals and their ultimate welfare for he gave them abundance of excellent nor could any of them complain that when occasion required he was by any means in wholesome the good old dutch those ms of an overflowing heart and a spirit which are falling into sad among my fellow citizens were faithfully observed in the mansion of governor new year was truly a day of open handed liberality of and warm hearted when the bosom seemed to swell with genial good fellowship and the table was attended with an freedom and honest broad mouthed merriment unknown in these days of and refinement and were observed throughout his nor was the day of st suffered to pass by without making presents hanging	48
the in the chimney and with all its other ceremonies once a year on the first day of april he used to array himself in full being the of his entry into new after the conquest of new this was always a kind of among the when they considered themselves at liberty in some measure to say and do what they pleased for on this day their master was always observed to and become exceeding pleasant and sending the old grey headed on april fools errands for pigeon s milk not one of whom but allowed himself to be taken in and humoured his old master s jokes as became a faithful and well thus did he reign happily and peacefully on his his own land no man no by no outward perplexed by n o internal and the mighty of the earth who were vainly seeking to maintain peace and promote the welfare of mankind by war and desolation would have done well to have made a voyage to the island of and learned a lesson in government from the do economy of peter in process of time however the old governor like all other children of began to exhibit evident tokens of decay like an aged oak which though it long has the fury of the elements and still its gigantic proportions yet begins to shake and groan with every blast so was it with the gallant peter for though he still bore the port and semblance of what he was in the days of his and chivalry yet did age and infirmity begin to sap the vigour of his frame but his heart that most still with would he to article of intelligence concerning the battles between the english and dutch still would his pulse beat high whenever he heard of the of de and his countenance lower and his eyebrows knit fortune in ur of the english at length as on a certain day he had just smoked his fifth pipe and was after dinner in his arm chair conquering the whole british nation in his he was suddenly his death aroused by a fearful ringing of bells rattling of drums and roaring of cannon that put all his blood in a but when he learnt that these were in honour of a great victory obtained by the combined english and french over the brave de and the younger von it went so much to his heart that he took to his bed and in less than three days was brought to death s door by a violent but even in this extremity he still displayed the spirit of peter the holding out to gasp with the most obstinacy against a whole army of old women who wire upon driving the enemy out of his after a true dutch mode of defence by the seat of war with and while he thus lay lingering on the verge of dissolution news was bi ought him that the brave de had suffered but little loss had made good his retreat and meant once more to meet the enemy in battle the closing eye of the old warrior kindled at the words he partly raised himself in bed a flash of martial fire beamed across his he clenched his withered as if he felt within his that sword which waved in triumph before of fort and giving a grim smile of exultation sunk back upon his pillow and expired thus died peter a an upright governor and an honest w his wanted a v to have been as a hero i his were with the utmost grandeur and the town was perfectly emptied of its inhabitants who crowded in to the last sad honours to their good old governor all his sterling qualities rushed in full tide upon their while the memory of his and his faults had expired with him the ancient who should have the privilege of bearing the pall the strove who should walk nearest to the and the melancholy procession was closed by a number of grey headed who had and in the household of their departed master for the greater part of a century with sad and gloomy countenances the multitude gathered round the grave they dwelt with mournful hearts on the sturdy virtues the signal services and the gallant exploits of the brave old worthy they recalled with secret their own to his government and many an ancient whose features had never been known to nor his eyes to was now observed to puff a pensive pipe and the big drop to steal down his cheek while he muttered with affectionate accent and melancholy shake of the head well den peter ben gone at last his remains were deposited in the family vault under a chapel which he had erected on of him his estate and to st and which stood on the identical spot at present occupied by st mark s church where his is still to be seen his estate or as it was called has ever continued in the possession of his who by the uniform integrity of their conduct and their strict to the customs and manners that prevailed in the good old have pi themselves worthy of their illustrious many a time and oft has the farm been haunted at night by in quest of pots of gold said to have been buried by the old governor though i cannot learn that any of them have ever been enriched by and who is there among my citizens that does not remember when in the mischievous days of his boyhood he conceived it a great to rob s orchard on a holiday afternoon at this strong hold of the family may still be seen certain of the immortal peter his full length portrait in martial terrors from	48
the parlour his cocked hat and sword still hang up in the best bed room his breeches were for a long while suspended in the hall until some years since they occasioned a dispute between a new married and his silver mounted wooden leg is still up io the store room as an invaluable h l f reflections chapter x the author s reflections upon has been said among the numerous events which are each in their turn the most and melancholy of all possible in your interesting and history there is none that occasions such deep and heart grief as the decline and fall of your renowned and mighty where is the reader who can contemplate without emotion the disastrous events by which the great of the world have been extinguished while wandering in imagination among the gigantic ruins of states and and marking the tremendous that wrought their overthrow the bosom of the melancholy with sympathy to the surrounding desolation and powers have each had their rise their progress and their each in its turn has swayed a potent has returned to its and thus did it fare with the empire of their high at the under the peaceful reign of walter the the reign of william the and the reign of peter the its history is fruitful of instruction and worthy of being pondered over attentively for it is by drawn thus among the ashes of departed greatness that the sparks of true knowledge are found and the lamp of wisdom let then the reign of walter the warn against yielding to that contented security that fondness for comfort and repose that are produced by a state of prosperity and peace these tend to a nation to destroy its pride of character to render it patient of insult deaf to the calls of honour and of justice and cause it to cling to peace like the to his pillow at the expense of every valuable duty and consideration such the very evil from which it one right yielded up produces the of a second one suffered makes way for another and the nation that thus through a love of peace has sacrificed honour and interest will at length have to fight for existence let the disastrous reign of william the serve as a warning against that fitful feverish mode of that acts without system depends on and projects and to lucky that and and at length with the of ignorance and that for popularity by the prejudices and flattering the rather than commanding the respect of the that seeks safety in a multitude of and itself by a variety of contradictory schemes and opinions that mistakes for deliberate weariness hurry for from this history decision for wholesome economy bustle for business and for that is violent in council sanguine in in action and feeble in execution that without upon them without tion them without energy and ends them in confusion and defeat let the reign of the good show the effects of vigour and decision even when destitute of cool judgment and surrounded by let it show how frankness and courage will command respect and secure honour even where success is but at the same time let it caution against a too ready reliance on the good faith of others and a too honest confidence in the loving professions of powerful s who are most friendly when they most mean to betray let it teach a judicious attention to the opinions and wishes of the many who in of peril must be soothed and led or apprehension will the deference to authority let the empty of his subjects their their violent resolutions their again t m absent enemy an their on his approach teach us to distrust and despise those whose courage dwells but in the tongue let them serve as a lesson to repress that insolence of speech destitute of real force which too breaks forth in popular bodies and the the capture of fort vanity rather than the spirit of a nation let them caution us against too much of our own power and and a noble enemy true gallantry of soul would always lead us to treat a foe with courtesy and proud a con conduct but takes from the merit of victory and renders defeat doubly disgraceful but i cease to dwell on the stores of excellent examples to be drawn from the ancient of the he who reads attentively will discover the threads of gold which run throughout the web of history and are invisible to the dull eye of ignorance but before i conclude let me point out a solemn warning furnished in the subtle chain of events by which the capture of fort has produced the present of our globe attend then gentle reader to this plain tion which if thou art a king an emperor op other powerful i advise thee to treasure up in thy heart though little expectation have i that my work will fall into such hands for well i know the care of ministers to keep all grave and books of the kind out of the way of unhappy lest they should read them and learn wisdom by the treacherous of fort then did the enjoy a transient triumph but drew upon their heads the vengeance of peter who all new from their hands by the conquest of new peter aroused the claims of lord caused the french revolution more who appealed to the cabinet of great britain who subdued the whole province of new by this great achievement the whole extent of north america from to the was rendered one entire upon the british crown but mark the consequence the hitherto scattered colonies being thus and having no rival colonies to check or keep them in awe great and powerful and finally becoming too strong for the mother country were enabled to shake	48
of journals ard from the most esteemed british vol l na il february s ard bt s it or s new the magazine january l excursion from to a t half past ten on the evening of the th we again entered the coach and resumed our journey towards this city the night was clear the stars were bright and the coach lamps ad our seeing every thing immediately along the road with tolerable distinctness our route from was by castle and swords it gave us pleasure to be that we should lose nothing of particular interest for the next twenty five miles between and we travelled some high and rugged ground the road chiefly ascending for the first five miles and descending the remaining five at a very pleasant and intelligent gentleman joined us and continued in company till our arrival here he was returning from the north where he had been on a visit to the giant s and gave much information respecting the comparative state of and also of another of the four irish provinces which we were just entering day dawned upon us at half past three half an hour before our arrival at that town is large and the streets through which we drove appeared well built chiefly of brick it is situated on the a river famous for the battle which was fought on its banks in by king william against the forces of james d the field of action was two miles distant from up the river a splendid monument marks the spot i beheld the stream with interest and recalled the emotions which i had often felt in mv early boyhood on listening to the fine tune of the water at swords we saw a remarkably curious tower the date and precise object of which are wholly unknown it is built of stone and seventy or eighty feet in height it gradually from the base and is of narrow circuit compared with its there are a number of holes cut through its walls similar to those seen in the old english castles near it are the ruins of a since writing the above i have conversed with o or three who have inquired much into the of ireland respecting this and similar vol i excursion from to church the tower of which is very perfect and at a little remove further the noble remains of an immense pile which from the upon the walls and the at the angles several of which remain entire seems to have been a castle formerly of great strength there are several other around and some small or swords was for a cr if f ai consequence and the seat if i mistake not of h e ancient and it is now very much q fl t else than the ruins of its former tke f of our ride to distant eight miles was through a pleasing and picturesque country rather too perhaps but with some gentle a range of high grounds or mountains bounded the prospect to the west and north three miles from we first came in sight of this magnificent city the view was striking although not quite as much so as was anticipated as we approached however it improved very much the houses appeared regularly built and evidently not so high as many in they are composed of brick chiefly and give a fine relief to the deep of the and pleasure grounds which the city we did not perceive so many and rising from the town as we wished and indeed expected to see the also through which we drove were far from looking well and in fact would have disappointed us exceedingly had we not have been prepared for seeing them but on escaping these we entered some fine streets and soon came into square which was magnificent indeed the trees and small wood in the central area were in full leaf we proceeded next through street resembling though not quite so broad the upper part of market street in philadelphia a noble monument is erected at the head of it in honour of on the four sides of the of which the names of st and are inscribed i estimated its height at feet similar though not quite so costly monuments in memory of this hero i met every where in the three leaving this we crossed the by the bridge entered street and soon found ourselves in a spacious area which we easily distinguished as the college green here i alighted with mr and having ordered a porter we repaired to the commercial buildings a splendid hotel which was a few yards distant we were surprised on coming into this city to find many shops open it being sunday and numbers of people employed apparently as in week days our fellow passenger had us this would be the case and explained it by saying that a large towers which are in the they confirm the opinion that they defy but think that they are originally intended as places of worship their date therefore they suppose to the introduction of christianity into ireland z ii m excursion from to proportion of the population of was composed of roman who thought that by observing some of the forms prescribed by the church a full might be claimed for these after breakfast we walked to college to attend divine service in the chapel it commenced at half past nine many students were present attired in white and having the same caps which are worn by the members of english a black gown is the dress on week days the service was the same with that in the cathedral churches in	48
england an excellent non was delivered by a gentleman formerly a fellow in the college and now settled m some country the and singing pleased us very much the chapel is large and has an high ceiling its order is two of this kind occupying the spaces between each window the ceiling is finely and the whole is richly ornamented in fact the brilliant white of the walls contrasted with the crimson curtains of the window gave to the chapel an appearance i thought rather too gaudy for a place of christian worship understanding that the sermon before the charitable orphan institution was to be preached at st peter s church at twelve and that the lord lieutenant was to be present and what is unusual to come in state we repaired there immediately on leaving the college chapel the of his passed us while on our walk and within a short distance of the church a troop of cavalry preceded it followed by three in which were some of the officers of the lord lieutenant s household next come his own carriage drawn by six horses four powdered in state stood behind who with the driver and more resembled stage than men in real life the lord lieutenant was accompanied in his coach by his wife the of his and an officer in full dress uniform whose name and rank we did not learn several other carriages closed the procession a of soldiers was drawn up to receive the lord lieutenant before the door of the church and he alighted amidst a salute of arms and the flourish of drums and trumpets the ceremony was repeated when he returned from church the guard keeping duty in the mean while at the door we were fortunate in a pass and in getting good stations in the church the lord lieutenant is a fine looking man and appears about fifty five his person is tall and rather slender but graceful and erect his countenance possessed something which brought to mind very much that of the present governor of the of the two faces is very like the lord lieutenant was dressed in a splendid uniform of red and and wore a star on his the earl of late to france excursion from to left breast his coat was faced with blue and over it was a mi frock coat of the same colour the dress of the lady tenant was very rich but there was nothing particular to mark it it resembled that of any fashionable lady on a parade occasion in our simple republic her countenance was agreeable and of benevolence rather good humoured than positively handsome the lord lieutenant and the occupied front seats in the gallery hung with crimson cloth fringed with gold their attendants waited behind they gave great attention to the whole service the former particularly prayers read for him under the title of his the lord lieutenant general and governor general of ireland the in number occupied seats in an opposite they were attired and ail appeared of an age between seven and fourteen accompanied the organ with their voices and the music was uncommonly line the church of england service we had the pleasure to hear read by the ingenious mr of st peter s and an excellent discourse was e reached by mr d from the words the lord is my mr d is a popular clergyman and so in the course of the service the descended from the gallery and entered unobserved the floor of the church by another passage and walked slowly in review by two singing a hymn prepared for the occasion it was a most interesting i had almost said a painful spectacle and was sufficient to draw a tear from every eye the collection after the services were over was liberal it could not be otherwise from st peter s we went to the cathedral of st the service of which commenced at p m and was conducted throughout in a most and careless manner as well by the clergyman as the congregation the latter particularly the ladies were smiling and conversing in audible whispers with each other or looking about with an air of non during the whole of the exercises here however as at die college chapel in the morning the music was very good and the organ was better played than i remember to have heard except in the cathedral of the excellence of the music led me to notice the and it struck me that they were the same who had borne a part in the chapel services on inquiry i learnt that it was actually the same choir and that it had sung at christ s church and was also to perform there in the evening this is its stated sabbath duty and a pretty laborious one too it is sufficient however to say in of this band that it has had the honour of being led by sir john st s is no ways remarkable as a cathedral it is a huge pile of building erected in the old part of the city and in one of the worst possible situations the name of swift it is true gives it interest his ashes are beneath the m ur ion to ment and also those of mrs johnson the of that poet there is an appropriate inscription to the memory of the latter in english as it should be that of swift is in and was written by himself the concluding words impress a good moral et si pro which may be literally rendered ro and copy if yoa can th champion of the rights of man in a comer of the cathedral there is another monument which swift erected as an inscription declares in acknowledgment of the and faithful deeds of a valued servant if our surprise on entering the city was great to notice occupations it	48
from four to six feet above high water its average breadth at the surface is thirty five feet though it is somewhat less than this at the lower extremity being there if i mistake not twenty eight a work of this kind is sufficient to illustrate the public spirit and of the citizens of this great metropolis the shipping at the mouth of the river makes a fine display literally a forest of april d the difference between irish and british coin and the value of the in the two countries gave me at first some embarrassment thirteen pence irish are equal to one shilling english or twelve pence sterling a pound sterling or twenty shillings is of course equal to twenty one shillings irish english shillings and half crowns with bank of england notes rarely in this country the most common are bank of ireland tokens of five penny ten penny and half crown pieces at where i had to take the change of a pretty large bank of england note a handful of silver pieces was returned not one of which i had before seen except in or the of the curious irish women at least those in so far as i have had an opportunity of seeing are far in beauty particularly in freshness and of complexion to either the english or scotch their figures are seldom good and there is a disagreeable in their features i have hardly seen a pretty woman landing at a deplorable spectacle at night in the numbers of females abroad who are abandoned to they may seem more numerous to one who has just come from scotland and who has been accustomed to the orderly appearance at evening of the this fact stated without is enough to induce a foreigner to that in america in the magnitude of natural objects the people a indeed to streets of the cities in that country these women of the commence their walks immediately after night fall and exhibit a most and early this morning sir richard m called he was out when i left a letter yesterday but returned the call in the course of the day and communicated also by note at the present interview his conversation was copious and entertaining he ed largely upon the growing power and wealth of my country and spoke of its character in a strain of higher than i expected from one of the s political bias sir richard is a zealous a d has uniformly and powerfully with ministers in the spirit of in ireland during an portion of that period of and terror which prevailed to the union he was a member of the irish parliament and held also the office of high for the county of in each of which situations he lent all his influence in the general government in its to the evils which the country his of the rebellion of his own view of the causes and policy which preceded that terrible crisis and the active interest which he took in the events which ensued in the course of conversation this morning he early entered upon a favourite subject the discussion of the roman catholic question which still the kingdom he showed me the of a written oath which he procured a day or two ago taken by some of the lower orders binding them to use all means in their power to put down every thing like by which is meant a difference in profession and sentiment from the church of rome the of the paper implied a readiness to resort to the sword or for their object so far as these should be found with the safety of the individual who might employ them the to an essay on the roman catholic question some curious facts which he recently published in the journal with which paper he has long plied an active commerce and in a walk which i afterwards took with him he procured for me a copy of it at the office glancing my eye over it this evening i find ample evidence that the representatives of the power in ireland have thought themselves the ministers of a church indeed not a few have the flames of rebellion and among them no less than three actual or seven and two have since the reign of elizabeth either fallen in open arms or been executed for their to day among other objects we have visited the parliament house a magnificent building of great size now converted into the bank and a number of public offices the custom house which is no ways in size and splendour and the finest which i have seen in any part of the empire and the lying in hospital excursion from to where poor women are attended in child birth and have every relief which their situation may require or which can be afforded this last is a most charitable and the highest credit upon the good feelings of the people in we visited most of the wards and were struck with the number of comforts provided for the poor females who were fortunate enough to be made inmates of the institution the building itself is rather a palace than a hospital and opens behind into the beautiful walks and of square the chapel is highly finished too much so indeed ornaments are upon it and do not with that grave and solemn character which we desire to attach to a place of religious worship it is impossible to walk the streets of this city and repress a feeling of admiration on beholding the numerous costly which meet the eye in every direction in the expense and elegance of its public works i should think every city of equal size in europe some of these are too fine i mean for ireland this is forcibly brought home by the many objects of a widely different description which are continually presented to view	48
objects which painfully the unnatural condition of things not simply in but in the country of which it is the capital nor is the impression diminished by the of these different buildings the finest of which are scattered over the city with seeming attention to regularity or fitness of place the contrast produced is often very disagreeable it is not uncommon to see a small adjoining some large and stately pile and acting as a silent upon that mixture of and want of splendor and mean the writer of these sketches has since visited some of the best cities of the continent no one of which in bis opinion may disdain a comparison with making a proper allowance for the of members and wealth it not be thinks to the french metropolis similar objects also to those which serve as to the better of are every where in paris the dwelling s of the poorer classes in the latter city exhibit little of the appearance of comfort of its r too excepting the there is not one which can compare with dame or streets not to mention several others little inferior two of the best streets in paris are the du and the st and a visitor might be safely to find in all one which offers the foot passenger such miserable as either of these in the opinion also of the writer that native politeness which has been said to distinguish the lowest of the has either been greatly exaggerated or was nearly during the tragic scenes of the revolution if what the of france asserted upon this point during the past century and what lady has recently repeated be true the citizens of its boasted metropolis have at least evinced how soon they could forget the rules of and be in the of a barbarous and blood thirsty philosophy from what actually fell under the traveller s observation he is persuaded that the of paris have now the properties as ihey have uniformly had the elements of a character more foul and savage than ever disgraced the of london or of vol i excursion from to ness of parade and wretchedness which is too conspicuous in various other objects of daily observation we dined to day with mr d the gentleman whom i have mentioned as having accompanied us from to the attentions of this gentleman to us considering the circumstances under which our acquaintance was formed are characteristic of the frank and confiding hospitality peculiar to the irish it struck me as a good rule when i commenced my travels not to mention unless some desirable opportunity should present the country from which i came especially in any of the public a foreigner is saved thereby no little at the where he chances to stop a matter of some moment in such a country as this and he has an opportunity of gaining more information in regard to the opinions entertained of his own nation than he could by openly declaring the land of his origin such information is seldom expected or desired an american is not concerning the place of his birth nor need he fear that it will be detected unless he so wishes he will pass without question as an englishman or perhaps more properly as a and should he mention his country the first impression produced will be that of surprise the principle to is to be understood however as merely to the traveller that is to one actually moving from place to place at which time too he is supposed to be daily and even changing his associates provided that he the stage coach conveyance which on the greater is always most eligible in the instance of first meeting with the gentleman at whose house we this day dined this practice unexpectedly led to a slight embarrassment learning that we were just from scotland he took it for granted that we were natives of or its and his conversation proceeded on that supposition no distinct inquiry being made no explanation was of course given as a few hours we supposed would forever our intercourse with this gentleman but in this we had mistaken his feelings and wishes finding that we were travelling solely for observation and perhaps gathering from some inquiries which we made that though strangers personally to we had some friends in he evinced in our behalf an interest which we did not anticipate and seemed desirous of our views by all the information he could impart on leaving us he gave his card with an invitation that we would take dinner with him to day a fashionable hour his departure was unexpectedly abrupt just as the coach stopped amidst a crowd at the post office and left no time for explanation or even a return of cards on the following day however we called upon him when he seemed amused with the mistake under which he had in regard to our true country and evinced an higher interest in us from our being foreigners and americans we have been indebted to him for other excursion from to lies since besides the pleasure we this day received at his board we find this gentleman a distinguished character as a merchant regarded for his general worth and intelligence surrounded with a very pleasing family circle and in the enjoy ment of the as well as comforts of life he was well with e the irish american and an regard for that popular exile at his table to day we met a very pleasant company of and on to the drawing room found a small circle of ladies who had been invited to tea it is unnecessary to say that the remainder of the evening passed greatly to our satisfaction and that the various which we experienced were the more welcome from being thus unexpected as well as as mr and myself were walking yesterday morning towards the castle we met	48
a friend who politely look us round and pointed our attention to the remarkable buildings and connected with it and conducted us to the record apartments in tower where we were made acquainted with one of the and shown some very curious documents and relics one collection was i think the down s book and exhibited a survey and of all the and large in ireland as taken at ihe time and by order of it had been executed with great care and is a work the old record office stood in a different part of the city and was burnt in the reign of queen anne many valuable were entirely destroyed by the and of others which remained not a few were so extremely and as to be hardly worth preserving some which we saw were hardly after the fire the record office was removed to the tower in the castle where it is still kept the walls of which at the and first stories are from seven to ten feet in thickness the tower itself was formerly used for the confinement of state and in it the famous arthur o was imprisoned the castle however is no longer a place of defence nor is it intended as such the buildings erected within its are chiefly modem and are occupied by public officers in the pay of the crown from the castle we were conducted to the exchange a building well worthy of attention having a noble apartment in the centre where the business of exchange bills entirely i believe is this is thrown open only three times a week and then between the hours of and past p m on other days and hours the business of transfer and is in a area back of the buildings in which we lodge thence called the the attentions of this i continued without to the last in rays too various and with a kindness too delicate to admit of mention excursion from to our hotel fronts on dame street which is distinguished for the incessant bustle and parade of business and fashion the street is finely built and answers to in new york although it is not by so many mean shops and which are still seen along the latter dame street almost any hour of the day all the varieties of human condition from the peer to the tattered beggar and on the other hand all the of passing rank from the car to the chariot after admiring the royal exchange as the day was uncommonly fine we extended our walk across the to park a beautiful range of pleasure grounds several miles in circuit which are open to the public they bear some resemblance to or rather remind the visitor of gardens and park near london and are about the same distance from the heart of the city they are not laid out with any peculiar display of taste nor are they remarkable for whether natural or artificial they exhibit a pleasing variety of gentle and slopes covered with or of and in some parts are well planted with forest trees the palace a very fine position some of the thorn shrubs we noticed appeared of great age and have attained the height of large trees besides the seat of the lord lieutenant there are one or two erected on commanding within the park and near them some which make a good appearance in one part of the park several were upon their instruments under a of and produced a pleasing effect by their music the astonishment of an american is naturally great on beholding the number of which are built in and its immediate vicinity he may see them almost at every turn in a street they are said to be the most extensive and complete of any in europe which are connected with a single city and to accommodate easily men government find it necessary to keep a large standing force in ireland and especially in the capital to the and secure the wavering the permanent military force of the crown has been very much reduced but the numbers which are retained in service are far from seeming small wherever i go in whatever town i had almost said village in which i have been in any part of the united kingdom i find bodies of soldiers standing in groups or lazily about the streets returning from the park our walk led us through an obscure part of the city where we traversed a street of considerable length occupied entirely by shops of and presenting the grim of their trade funeral and devices were seen on either side and of all sizes and stages of completeness were thrust through the opened windows in utter defiance of the passenger who might otherwise pre excursion from to fer the accommodation of the side path it was striking to reflect that so many people were entirely upon gains which the daily indeed deaths of a large portion of their fellow inhabitants i have before had occasion to remark the beggars which are met with in this country nothing short of actual vision can convey to an american a just conception of the apparent misery of this class of people in ireland in swarm the streets in every direction and the passenger with an which cannot or will not be in the more frequented quarters of the city one of these wretched objects is seen lying upon the of almost every respectable dwelling families are literally strewn along the principal streets at intervals of a few yards clothed with fragments of garments which gave me the first distinct notion of i have heard it said in america and as i once thought in the spirit of wanton that an irish beggar has been known on meeting with a scare crow image in some field to have gladly exchanged with the unlucky and to have himself upon his rare	48
fortune it was long ago remarked too by some traveller that he never knew what the of london did with their old clothes until coming to i must say that i had an equal degree of doubt but it exists no longer for in my opinion has reached its ne in this city the aspect of wretchedness moreover is heightened by the strong contrast which is exhibited to the splendid and other of wealth which as i have mentioned a stranger continually is witnessing and yet it is amusing at times to see that wonderful of spirits which the irish possess even under the pressure of severe want and i have often smiled on passing a ragged little fellow with only the covering of a small piece of a shirt and a part of one of the legs of what might once have been a pair of about the side walks and playing or his top with the same alacrity and spirit as if he had been in crimson and gold dr d a very respectable clergyman and the author of two or three ingenious poems called by appointment at o clock to day to attend us to the society house and to introduce us to sir charles a distinguished professor in the institution the building appropriated to the society is house formerly the town residence of the duke of that name it is large and highly as well as elegant and has a fine park adjoining it the library belonging to the institution is not extensive but is selected and arranged the number of volumes does not probably exceed dr l the we found very intelligent and obliging the museum is rich containing a very valuable collection of specimens in and one still finer in the department it was excursion from to pleasing to view a case of which had been selected iti places in the united states particularly in new england among which we read the of lake george new haven and others the museum and cabinet have been splendidly arranged under the immediate direction of sir charles and there is a large apartment solely devoted to a collection of presented by him to the institution it was gratifying to us to form an acquaintance with this extraordinary man sir charles is a german originally from if i mistake not and has for many years been honoured with the favourable regards of the charles of he still the friendship of that prince and among other flattering marks of his attention has received a gold cross the of an order of which he wears upon his breast sir charles is passionately devoted to the study of and natural history in pursuit of his favourite and particularly with a view to the former he went to and resided there nearly seven years surely it might be thought a person who could endure a winter in that among moreover a people so rude and barbarous must have been with a more than ordinary portion of internal heat his uncommon enthusiasm enabled him to submit cheerfully to his and to bear the many hardships which he was obliged to encounter the fame which sir charles acquired on his return to europe excited the attention of the society of arts and they elected him one of the professors of the institution shortly after he came to reside in this city and fills his chair with great ability he brought with him from the very tent which he occupied in summer this is pitched in one of the rooms of the museum where the other presented by sir charles are deposited it is constructed of a rude low frame of wood about eight feet square covered chiefly with seal skins the ground is also spread with skins and the interior is hung with various of hunting fishing and household furniture models on a smaller scale are preserved of most of the others which are in use among the natives the tent at its entrance is two feet higher than at the further extremity where it is not more than five feet two figures large as life and in the dress of the natives are seen one upon the skins within the tent and the other as about entering it having just returned from fishing and bearing the implements of his occupation sir charles spoke freely of his residence among that people and represented them as faithful kind and hospitable in an high degree we passed about an hour at the institution and on leaving it he invited us to call again to morrow when he to show us some excellent casts lately taken from the a collection not open to the public in the hall of the museum we saw some unusually sized pillars which were brought from the giant s some roman excursion from to and other relics from were also shown also several curious pieces of old a number of partially decayed weapons and dug from the earth in various parts of ireland and horns of the deer which had been taken from some a very curious of an arm supposed to be that of a man was also exhibited it is by as a proof that the human subject is capable of that wonderfully process of nature much has been said concerning the for which ireland is famous their manner of formation has excited no little speculation and divers opinions are entertained respecting their causes and times of growth and in a country possessing so wood and dependent as it must have been otherwise upon the opposite of england and for much of its supply of coal the possession of these has proved an benefit in the way of fuel they are not too as their name might lead one to think low and covered with weeds and grass and with they are often found upon elevated grounds and can be traversed with facility and comfort the districts where they	48

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