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Contemplating… | I keep picturing myself doing it but wondering ‘Will it work?’ I don’t even mind being a vegetable because then, at least, they’ll pull the plug or just let me slip away.
I know when I do it, I’ll just go to sleep ‘forever’ but will I ever wake up?
It is going to take a lot of sneaking and planning, but can I actually get away with this?
I know it could be painless but it also can hurt like hell.
I used to be a multimillionaire with a promising career and now I’m down to my last dollar. I’m planning on doing it when the money runs dry.
Everyone judges my book by the covers and never reads one page. Like I said, I was worth a billion dollars once and none of my friends or family knows. It sucks not to be recognized for your hard work and achievements.
I’m 37 and my mom calls me ‘boy.’ I haven’t had a job in 10+ years. I’m on public assistance. I’m bombarded because I have to see a doctor, nurse, or counselor every month which is like once a week. No car or house anymore, no women, no children, no friends, no family.
I’m two sips away from being alcoholic. I sneak and smoke marijuana whenever I can. I gamble in the lottery system. My room is messy. I’m lazy. I’m tired of being poor and running around. I hate having to walk everywhere.
If I do do it, the world will lose a god. I have unlimited knowledge within me. My mother will lose a son, but she doesn’t care anyways.
I’ve been assassinated plenty of times. My grandmother was my rapist. My mother had her back. My skin is still sore from the childhood beatings. I really want revenge, but the best revenge might be to do it to myself.
I had a 100 average my whole life and this is what I get; nothing but shit. I’ve been contemplating for years. I’ve grown closer to God and my deceased loved ones. I know there is life after life but I fear it might be too beautiful for my eyes.
I just wish my money, house, and job weren’t taken away from me. That’s all I ever wanted. Now it’s gone for good. Soon, so will I. | 1 |
I dont know what to do anymore | I dont know if this is asking for advice or what but i recently just ran into so many problems at once my car insurance lapsed for the second time in a year so i dont know if my company will even reinstate it my student loans were sent to a debt collector and i know my family is just continuously disappointed by me. I have a history of being suicidal and was doing well for a long time but all of this happening has just brought me back to a really dark place and i feel like i have no other way out. I just feel so heavy and my life is falling apart i dont know what to do and i want to die tonight | 3 |
Struggling with the aftermath of a murder | I'm a nurse and I work in a prison. A couple months ago, we get called for a "man down." Sadly, 99.9% of the time these are ODs or suicides. Well, my luck it was the 0.1% of time it was a murder.
I didn't see the murder but I did CPR on an obviously dead man. It took my brain a long time to accept what I saw and was a part of. A human took another human's life. I was numb.
Now since then, death occupies my thoughts. I'm scared of other people dying. My husband, family, my dog or even other prisoners. Every call at work makes me think I'm going to walk in on another murder.
So my thoughts turn to well if I end my life, then I won't have to be so afraid now to experience what might happen. These thoughts come up so often, they are scaring me.
I look up info about suicides. So many seem happy but then just one day, they end their life. Could that happen to me?
I don't want to do that to my loved ones but I'm so scared that will be the way I end my fear. It almost feels inevitable. | 2 |
I want to kill myself but idk what ill do to my dog | Like i love my dog but idk if she will be confused or something, I got a brother, Mother, and father that can take care of her but i dont want to just leave her, what do i do? | 1 |
Creo que pronto voy a suicidarme | Empiezo disculpándome por escribir esto en español pero mi nivel de inglés no es tan avanzado para hacerlo en inglés. Estoy acorralado, llevo meses huyendo del banco por una deuda en mi tarjeta de crédito. Tengo 23 años, mi pareja me dejó hace unos años, comencé a ir a terapia y estaba mejorando, mi trabajo se volvió demasiado tóxico y eso hizo que ocupara más terapia para poder sobrellevar mi vida, terminé entrando en un colapso luego de soportar tanto y renuncié. Estando sin empleo y pocos ahorros seguí asistiendo a unas cuantas terapias más, no pude pagar más y seguía sin encontrar nuevo empleo. He aplicado a muchos empleos y no me han llamado de ninguno. En unos días debo pagar la renta y no tengo dinero ni para el transporte público, las últimas terapias las pagué con mi tarjeta de crédito con la esperanza que encontraría trabajo pronto, pero no fue así. Ahora los interesas están aumentando y el banco no deja de llamarme a pagar. No tengo ni siquiera una cama propia, no tengo ninguna manera de pagar mis deudas. La única salida que me queda es el suicidio. No tengo amigos ni familia que me apoyen. No quiero terminar viviendo en la calle o perteneciendo a alguna pandilla. Viviré estos últimos días haciendo algo que me guste y luego me voy a suicidar. | 1 |
Why do so many people regret attempting? | No way that i would feel any more hope after surviving an attempt. You start at the exact same spot you were when you attempted. No way i would feel any better after attempting. | 2 |
I don’t wanna be here. | Friends reached out…just for a normal game. No one cares I was alone. No one cares I’m self destructing, slowly, yes, but blatantly. I don’t care anymore. I don’t wanna be here.
“ take a break and do nothing if that’s what you want to do”
It’s not that I want to do nothing. It’s that don’t care enough anymore. It’s not a break, it’s not restful, it’s empty, hollow, devoid of a flame. I don’t feel like a person anymore. I feel like a character.
I feel like the last shreds of me are puppeteering the rest..and not even doing a good job.
I don’t know how to feel like myself anymore.
I don’t wanna be here anymore. | 9 |
Does it even matter? | Hi, this is on my throw away acc i dont want people to know who i am.
Im debating suicide, lifes been tough this year well past few months. My ex girlfriend caused a lot of hassle with my life and my future life. Ive lost a lot of friends, and even my family look at me as if im just there to fill a piece of a puzzle.
I cant cope with life anymore, ive tried connecting to people, and it hurts. Ive tried to go back to gym, eat regularly and sleep. But to no avail. They are just make life worst. And at the same time i cant sit around doing nothing, bc even then im left with my thoughts. I just dont want to be here, and by here i mean anywhere.
Everynight i walk across a motorway bridge and debated jumping godknows how many times, and im think i might end up doing it tonight or tommorow night. I dont find life meaningful anymore. I find everything disgusting, and i cant even play pokemon go (i use to love playing it alla time with ex or with family and friends) anymore by how much disgust i have. It hurts. And im saying this as a goodbye. I hope u all have a good life and know treat life more carefully <3
Thank you for listening | 2 |
Happy people say there's always a reason to live | To be honest, I can't say I disagree. My problem is all the reasons to leave far outweigh the reasons to stay. For instance my pros and cons list is at follows:
Pros: I would get to enjoy the things that make me happy, win some battles, and see the people I love.
Cons: I'm constantly teetering on the edge of homelessness, my mental health is at an all-time low, the people who love me don't respect me, the people respect me don't want to be friends with me, and to be honest... I'm not even sure I love me anymore.
Of course I know that all of my problems are "fixable" but at what cost? Imagine the last soldier on a battlefield. Did that soldier really "win"? I have overcome countless hurdles in my life so in that sense I am a strong person... But even strong people become tired... and I am so tired.
...
I'm sorry if anyone else feels like this. Being human is hard. | 20 |
It's a weird thing | To be so utterly convinced that the right thing is to die, but completely unable to select a method.
Firearms would be the most effective I suppose but I have no way of getting one.
Anything else seems like it's either too painful or too likely to leave me alive but worse off than before.
​
I've lost 3 good friends in the last 2 months and it doesn't seem likely to improve any further, anyone who becomes friends with me inevitably leaves because I'm just too broken. The people who check in are doing so out of obligation, that they can know they did "everything they could" etc. And the thing that kept me going was my career, but that's going poorly now too. | 1 |
I have no one to talk to. | I’m 33 year old naval veteran. I’m well aware of the systems set into place for support but Reddit was always comforting in that there are so many different people. | 3 |
I can't stand it anymore, im gonna commit suicide. I feel ashamed and I'm using a burner account so nobody knows. | (M17)
For my whole life, I've had no one, I was the "mistake" in my family, treated like shit, bullied, assaulted, and harassed.
Nobody ever helped me, I'm gonna get kicked out without a job, I dropped out, without no one to trust or even help me, never had a real friend, never had a partner, never had love or even a little sympathy that has impacted me. All of them simply used me, knowing i was already miserable.
This being said, I tried everything, I don't care anymore, I just wanna die and get out of this wicked place, I can't stand it anymore, I'll die in the streets sooner or later anyways.
Please remember to love your close ones. You never know what they are going through.
Goodbye people. | 1 |
I don't know | I can't handle my addiction. I drank to be unconscious. They told me in rehab I'd fail because I didn't seem to have a strong drive for self-preservation. I have organ damage. I know if I drank again I'd quickly end up needing to be hospitalized but probably wouldn't die. That's what's been stopping me. Pancreas and liver damage is very painful; withdrawal and AKA is hell.
I felt bad for how much I talked about death with my last therapist.
I'm not sober. I smoke weed hoping it'll shut my brain off but I do it so often that my tolerance is too high. But I cannot be sober. If I had to be sober for any length of time I think my decision would be final. My chest hurts.
I don't know why just existing is so painful for me. Nobody can tell me why. I am totally alone in my head.
I take a medication for my heart but I've read that if I took too much it would stop my heart. I knew as soon as they prescribed the medication two years ago that that's how I would do it. I don't know what I'm waiting for. | 1 |
Just wish I would not wake up | Husband doesn’t want to be married to me anymore and filed for divorce for a 3rd time. Wish I was dead because it hurts so bad and because I am so angry at myself for being unable to survive being dumped. Especially because he has been emotionally abusing me for years while playing victim to my supposed incompetence as a wife and mom I am addicted to trying to earn his love and respect and I hate myself so much | 8 |
“Whats gonna happen to your head if your sister doesn’t leave you alone?” | “I said a boom chicka boom! (I said a boom chicka boom) I said a boom, chicka racka chick racka chicka BOOM!” | 1 |
It's over soon... | I guess so...
Just need to find a good method | 2 |
i tried to commit suicide a few weeks ago in front of my mom as a genuine cry for help and i just got into a bunch of trouble, got called mean names, and was left to bleed and cry on the floor of the kitchen. | just venting | 18 |
I can't take it anymore. | My whole life has just been a pile-up of hurt. I thought i was past most of it when i started going to therapy but it only got worse and now whatever ruined my past is ruining my present. I don't feel like I have anything anymore. Doing anything feels empty and useless. My baggage is too much for the people around me and definitely is for me. I've been researching euthanasia drugs online because i'm scared to hurt more before i die. I just can't take it anymore. The people around me know i'm doing badly but they don't seem to realise the severity of it, or just don't care. The person i love most with all my heart won't ask me how i am because it is too much for them to bear. I can't do it alone and while everyone says i'm not alone i've never felt more alone and hurt in my life, and the connections feel meaningless. I don't want to sit here and go through life even longer & gathering more trauma and hurt along the way, i don't have room for any more and i can't carry what i already have anymore. I want to leave | 1 |
can anyone tell me where or how to find someone to talk to who won't laser-focus on my suicidal desires? | I don't want to kill myself; I just don't want to exist anymore. I'm existentially tired. I'm also not willing to leave my son the way my father left me. I'm afraid that my resolve on that will fail one day, but hopefully it will be after he is grown and doesn't need me as much.
The problems in my life that lead me to not *want* to be here anymore, though, are crushing me. I can't talk to my wife - honestly, she is probably the largest contributor. I can't talk to my friends, because I neither want to burden them nor do I want them to treat my wife negatively.
I've seen three therapists. As soon as I mention my suicidal fantasies, the entirety of our interactions become about them, and trying to convince me that I shouldn't act on them. I understand why, but frankly it is annoying and counterproductive, because then the whole thing turns into an insincere paint by numbers. Talking to fucking chatgpt is more helpful.
I'm so fucking isolated. I don't even eat anymore. I'm hungry but just don't care. I'm sitting in the bathroom at work crying uncontrollably rn and I just don't know how to keep going. | 1 |
I love myself and I think life is great but I still would like to die | DAE relate? For context, this world is full of so many great things with the introduction of technology and entertainment alongside the already existing pleasures. However, in today’s society, you will have no time to really enjoy it as you must spend a lot of time working to afford such things and even then sometimes life is just boring. It’s the cutthroat society that severely takes away from the pleasure of life. I love myself and I love sitting out in nature, but ultimately I still want to die. It’s been a rough childhood for me and I didn’t ask for any of it, so it would be a blessing to have this one choice. | 2 |
I’m so tired and I can’t do this without him | My partner hung himself 4 weeks ago , I’m 8 months pregnant with our baby , everyone keeps saying shit that just makes me feel worse for feeling how I feel . They’re saying ‘give it time , you’ll find someone else’ , I don’t want to find someone else , he’s the love of my life and the only future I could picture was the future we were planning together . I don’t want a different future , I don’t want a future at all .
People keep saying ‘you have to stay strong for the baby’ what about me ? Why do I have to sit here forever suffering having no one I can actually rely on but myself because everyone else has their own problems and responsibilities. I’m 17 for fuck sake , I’m having a baby , and the man I love is in a fucking fridge waiting to be cremated . I’m not strong enough for this , I don’t want to do this anymore , and honestly I don’t care about being happy anymore , I don’t want to be happy , he made me happy and now he’s gone . Why should I keep going ?
Why should I have to suffer in pain with the world on my fucking shoulders just so other people can sleep at night knowing I still exist ?
If I end it all I know people will call me selfish , either for not giving my baby a chance because she’s not been born yet or for leaving her orphaned , but I’m so tired , everything hurts so much more than I thought it was possible to hurt . And I am sorry that I’ll be hurting people by killing my self , I know how much pain they’ll be in because I’m feeling that same pain right now , but I can’t keep feeling this pain anymore , I can’t do this anymore .
Literally ALL I want is to be with him , all I want is to cuddle him and hear his voice and talk to him , and I can’t . And I don’t want to have to keep going knowing I’ll never hold him again and he’ll never hold me again.
I know I’m loved , I know they care , and I love them and care about them all too . And I’m sorry that I’ll be hurting them like this . I really am . But there’s no other way I can end this pain for myself , and I can’t cope with it .
It’s not his fault that I’ve done this , I know he wasn’t in the headspace to think about how much him leaving would hurt me , I know he didn’t want to hurt me , I know he loved me . But I just can’t do this anymore .
Everyone is saying ‘you have to keep going , do it for the baby’ but I have spent my whole life baring the constant pain of shit getting thrown my way and dealing with the shit in my head to keep other people happy and I can’t do it anymore . I’ve spent so long living for other people , because my head is well and truly fucked and I didn’t have any reason to live for myself . but when I met him , when I fell in love with him , living felt worth the pain of life’s shit because I could enjoy the time I had with him and the connection we had . He made me think I could have a good future , he made me want to keep going . But he’s gone , and I don’t want a future anymore .
I’m trying my best , but I know I can’t keep doing this for much longer , I’m too tired and it hurts too much . | 6 |
Why should I continue ? |
M(24) born in India . Had health issue right from my childhood . Have a small dick (5” bp * 3.75 “) always suspected it but everything became clear once I tried putting regular condom on myself and it was too loose . At 22 due to multiple circumstances took an antidepressant ie Paroxetine just for a month and developed pssd after it . For all of you who don’t know what PSSD is its post ssri sexual dysfunction you can search the pssd subreddit it’s entirely dedicated to it . This apparently has no cure , only some unlucky few get it . So after hitting the genetic lottery with the dick size , now I have hit another lottery with pssd .Small non working dick At 24 and still being virgin with apparently no future ahead , I don’t find any reason to continue . It looks like god is trying to write the worst possible story for me . And keeping all this in mind I can’t imagine how bad my end will be .Life will only bring more misery to me . I feel everything will be better off once I’m gone . | 2 |
I’m more worried about materials than anything else | I think for most of my life I’ve been trying to buy myself out of suicide. Ever since I got a job I’ve become materialistic. Everything I own holds sentiment to me and to me alone. Maybe cause I’m the only one who remembers anything anymore. I buy myself random stuff in hopes that I’ll become delusional over my happiness for these items. But I know that the bliss will end and I’ll be back where I started. So, here we are now, I just got some new hoodies that I haven’t been able to wash yet so I can’t wear them. I got a cyberpunk displate that looks awesome, and I was excited about the new phantom liberty dlc. But just like the asshole I am that’s the only reason I’d stay. If everything were to just go away and I’d only have me, my games, my clothes, my room, and my privacy I’d be glad to stay. I honestly couldn’t care less about my family or friends. I am sad about my dogs of course because they don’t understand that I won’t come back and that I never will. But my family/friends? I’d much rather them see my in a casket than alive. To me it’s justifiable. My grandparents wanted me aborted when I was a fetus because I was a bastard. People bullied me in school for being a person. But worst of all I failed myself. I failed a child who wanted to be everything and wanted everything. If I had just tried and I mean really tried at school and at sports or really anything, I could’ve given that child the world. But I didn’t and now I have to pay the price of that failure. I am the product of a suicidal mother and bum fuck of a father who I haven’t even met. I am an only child and a dog lover. I am a game connoisseur and a cyberpunk fan. But above all I am a disgrace to humanity. All because of a chemical imbalance that made my 12 yo self attempt to die… I’m miserable. I think I always will be. Especially if I don’t have peace or quiet in my life. I just want to be left alone for days, weeks, months. I want to be a hermit in society, so I can’t let anyone down. I’ve already done it and it’s my own fault. But if I admit to it then I’d be guilty for the rest of my life and I don’t want that. I’ve felt anxious and guilty for 18 years. I don’t want to live like that anymore. The only reason I’d stay was if I got to be alone in my room with my materials that actually brought me joy. Pathetic, but it’s true. Tonight I’ll bike away from my house and find someplace with guns or a very tall building. Just something, anything. Cause I’ve heard Advil doesn’t do the trick. But really I’m done. Finished. Fin. I’m over this life and the ones after it. Ive barley even started. And if I live through it, well, then I have a fire lit under my mothers ass for the rest of my life. | 2 |
I dont want to do this any longer. | Im just tired. I want to end my life so bad, Im just waiting till its over.
The only thing stopping me is my girlfriend who is also suicidal and would probably kill herself too if I did.
I got kicked out at 15 and now I am still in this shitty apartment just wanting this whole shit to finally end.
All three therapists I tried, told me „I cant treat you since you are too depressed for me personally.“ so there is not even an option for change.
I dont want my gf to go through that pain, but I cant imagine living another year. I dont even really know if I love her, I dont feel anything. Like in general, Im not even sad or smth, I just want to die already. But she is the best human I’ve ever met and If Id live, only with her.
These vacations are so fucking trash, I mostly lay in bed and wait for time to pass, while my gf just sleeps most of the day (not even at my place, we see each other like once every week or smth). She says she loves me, but I just can’t believe that (not her fault, I just see myself as totally unlovable).
I want to kms, but she wants me to stay alive and so I wait and every day is the fucking same. I have no coping mechanism; sh, art in any form, therapy, nothing works (and I don’t want to get addicted and abuse substances or stuff like that). She wants me to not kill myself and I don’t know if I can live up to that standard much longer. I am severely depressed and I don’t know how much longer I can do this. Rn the caring about my gf outweighs the need to end my life, but that shifts on the daily. I get closer and closer everyday. Every day ist just so fucking pointless. This is also nothing new, I wanted to end my life since 2020-21 and this spring I almost did it, until my gf told me how she would feel about it, so I didn’t. I don’t know what to do anymore, maybe I just say fuck it and kill myself anyway. I really see no point in living on and Im willing to find out how death feels like. | 1 |
I'm homeless and my options are sex work with a murderer or returning to my abusive ex, currently in a hotel paid for by sex counting piles of pills... | My mom kicked me out into the streets because she thought I had a lesbian lover. I have nothing. I just want to die. | 8 |
I'm a f*****g idiot | I'm mainly writing this for myself right now because I've never felt quite this lost or truly miserable.
So I've been suffering quite a bit with mental health and addiction problems. I've been extremely claustrophobic at home and can't seem to stop using. More or less all my friends have moved to different cities and my life has felt hollow for some time. My job was also making me very miserable.
So I decided to try and take charge of my life. I'm still relatively fit and have always loved the outdoors, so I saved for a few months for my dream trip to walk some or all of the Appalachian trail. This would get me away from the substances and claustrophobia as well as maybe trying to reset my mind etc.
So I saved until I had enough, then quit my job and it's all that I've been thinking about for months. I even found that the darkness in my moods had lifted slightly.
Well I thought the flight was tomorrow. It was not. The connecting flight was tomorrow. The flight was today. I missed the flight and I absolutely do not have enough money to get another one.
So now I've spent my money, quit my job and am stuck here with nothing and no escape and all of my habits and f*cked up thoughts have rushed back in an absolute flood.
I really really don't know what to do, and don't know who to turn to, it feels like my brain has just shutdown and honestly I really wish I wasn't here right now. | 1 |
I’m really tired of trying | I’m doing everything I can to not hurt those around me, but I’m in immense pain and I’m so tired. Life is not fair and I cannot keep living like this. I’ve tried different medicines, therapy, I just feel worse and mad that I always go back to feeling hurt by every situation.
I want this pain to be over and people close to me tell me that I cannot hurt them by killing myself. It’s not fair, I want to take away all this suffering. | 1 |
I can no longer take being a virgin anymore. I’m on the verge of killing my self | I’m a 23 yr old male, in decent shape, take care of my self but I cannot get a girl for the life of me. Literally ALL of my friends have been with multiple women and I haven’t been with one. This alone makes me want to just fucking shoot my self. What’s wrong with me? How is it in this point of my life I cannot get a girl and all my friends can and have multiple times. I’m so done with it. I’ve had endless lonely depressing, suicide-considering, nights where I just sit up at night while my friends already get with someone. I can’t do it anymore. I’m so done. I’m going fucking crazy obsessing over this and I have been for years. I want to kill my self so badly. I really want to. No one would miss me. Clearly all the women I’m missing out on wouldn’t. My friends probably wouldn’t notice. Who knows they probably think I’m a stupid virgin anyway. My parents are the only reason I haven’t done it yet. But at this point i just don’t care anymore. I want this pain to just end. I want to die. No girl will ever love me. Hell no girl even simply wants to hook up. What’s the point of living if your friends have been with multiple women and you haven’t? I’m starting to believe there is no point.
Edit: I’m just unbelievably taken aback by the support and kind words from you all. I can’t quite put it into words but I’m going to try.
You all don’t even know me. I’m a complete and random stranger. But sheer amount of gratitude I have is quite literally inexpressible. To everyone that reached out, thank you so so so so much, I sincerely and truly mean that. I don’t think I’ve ever been as down as I was yesterday in my life. The demons were getting to me so much and I genuinely truly thought for a moment that I should just die. I hoped I would just get into a car crash the next day while going to work. But the amount of support you all have shown has made me realize I’m not alone and that there are people in this world that just have pure beautiful souls. I mean you could’ve just read my post and ignored it. But you didn’t. I still have a long long long way to go in fixing my mental health, my anxiety, my self confidence, etc. But just know, I have so much gratitude towards you all.
Thank you. | 50 |
my life means absolutely nothing to me or anybody else, i’m going to end it soon and just need to vent. | i know the first sentence probably seems a bit attention seeking but i have never been happy or felt like i mattered. i have friends, but i’ve recently moved away to a new city and they’ve been doing fine without me. my partner doesn’t love me the same anymore and i know i’m a nuisance in his life. he reminds me constantly about how i embarrass him and his friends hate me and i’m not allowed to go to his house anymore. he’ll be much happier when he doesn’t have to break up with me because i’ll already be gone. i don’t think it’s fair to stay alive miserably just so my family can see me twice a year. i wouldn’t wish this feeling on anybody, it’s s shame other people do.
im exhausted and my life is going nowhere. i work 60 hours a week and i save absolutely nothing because shitty things keep happening to me and i need to replace/buy new things. i’m 18 and i’ve been severely depressed since i was 10. people always tell me things will get better but they never do and it’s exhausting. i just want to be at peace. i’m so tired of feeling like this all the time. life really doesn’t have all that much to offer for me. i feel like my only option is out and it brings me a lot more peace knowing that i can just end it. | 1 |
A message please read | I had these thoughts aswell multiple times all for different reasons some like hating my family my friends leaving, addictions, and tiredness. It doesnt matter but I didn't because there is always something to look forward to and you can find that little thing that keeps you happy no matter how small or big whether it is an event, movie,game, person or a goal like learning how to do something. An old quote I don't really remember"no feeling is final, how you are feeling today doesn't mean you'll feel the same tomorrow there will always be someone that loves you and it doesn't matter who." I love you
Just remember that no matter what you are going through, there is always light, whether that be family friends' games or even a random redditor. There may not be a God, but something saw potential in you and brought you into this world, we will remember you, and you will be missed
Dm me if you need a person to talk too | 0 |
It’s the day | My seven month old is asleep on my chest. I love my babies so much my son who is 7 months and my four year old daughter. They’re my life and I’ve tried so hard to keep going! But I have such severe pain and someone injured me more on Saturday. I feel like it’s the end for me. I have 15 oxycodone and am ready to take them all as soon as dad is on the way back home. I don’t want to leave my kids here alone once it starts kicking in so I’m timing it for when he is close. I’ve had six surgeries between my shoulder brachial plexus and spinal cord due to Ehlers Danlos syndrome. I developed crps I do ketamine infusions which help a lot but I just am tired of being such a burden and in pain. I love my children. I hope they forgive me. | 1 |
Broke up with girlfriend due to suicidal thoughts among some other things now don’t know what to do | Apologies for grammar and brackets I do not know how to write. Also new to Reddit so I hope it’s not to long. Also not sure what group to post this in so I hope this is ok.
Backstory:
Basically my(28M) mom recently died of cancer, during her 5 year long battle my dad left her. No legal divorce as he wanted to keep the assets for himself (basically wait her out). My mom left everything to me and my brother but under the threat of a possible really long legal battle with my dad we contested the will and gave him everything, except a life insurance payment which my brother and I split. Contesting my moms final wishes was really hard and among a lot of other fucked up shit that happened lead me to having suicidal thoughts mostly all day everyday.
Anyways this all happened just before and into the middle of the COVID lockdowns and I was living with my girlfriend (24f) at the time in a basement. One day she seemingly out of know-where (I was pretty depressed and miserable due to my family situation mind you) she said she was leaving me so she could travel to South America. She gave me 2 days notice and refused to pay that months rent, which really fucked me over because I had little money no job and no prospects due to COVID. When I told her to come pick up her stuff because I wouldn’t store it for free, she came back and took sooo much of my useful stuff, blankets, shower curtain, bowls, lights, that kind of thing all stuff that was mine, which was petty and hurt but not that big of a deal I guess (she actually left her keepsake box so I knew it was malicious).
I actually work for her mom and dad (seasonal job) that’s how we were introduced, so when she came back from South America I invited her to dinner to break the tension because I knew we would have to see each other and I wanted to be cordial. The dinner went really well and after about 2 weeks of her convincing me I agreed to be exclusive with her again, but I said I wanted to do my own thing in my camper van for a while.
Fast forward a couple months and my mom dies, I was her full time caretaker at the time and my girlfriend was there for me and helped me get through it. After the funeral and all of that we went on a vacation together in the van just over 3 weeks, we went through a nice town and once we got back she decided to move there and get into staff housing (her first real job ever), I wanted to “do my own thing” in the van so that was ok with me. I ended up driving the van to said town and we spent the summer together. After the summer we decided to get staff housing together at a ski hill for the winter (she doesn’t ski or board so it was a bit of a sacrifice for her). Now during all of this time I paid for basically everything with my moms life insurance money, groceries, gas, activities, living expenses…… and I did 95% of the cooking and cleaning. She was just learning how to do stuff on her own as she came from a very wealthy family and never had to do or pay for anything (this was her second job ever), I have been independent since I was 18 and working since 12 and only when I moved in with my sick mom lost said independence. We had a fun winter together at the ski hill but the entire time I still was feeling suicidal and I expressed this to her and that I want to get a real apartment and stable job because living in a perpetual vacation was not sustainable mentally or financially for me. She didn’t want that however and booked another trip to South America, and after a lot of convincing got me to buy a ticket to meet her down there. I didn’t want to go due to the affordability of a trip like that (her dad bought her flights), but I broke down and booked a ticket anyways. After the ski season ended she flew down there and I moved into my van and I was to meet her in a month maybe month and a half (don’t remember exactly). We were talking whilst apart and everything was fine. A day before I was supposed to fly out however I started a bogus argument and broke up with her over text and skipped the trip. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her that he lack of ability to take care of herself on a basic level was the reason I’m leaving hence the bogus argument. Also I feared once her trust fund kicked in she would just leave me anyways.
So now I am living in my van alone and just trying to keep myself busy by working out eating right and just keeping my mental health I’m order as best I can(I gained 10 good pounds so far which I’m stoked on). But it seems to not be working and all I can think about is her and how much I love her and how I think I may have pushed away the one person I care about most. And I literally just want to message her and try and win her back. She is very very pretty and I’m sure she’ll get scooped up quickly so jealously may be a factor here. But I’m not sure so my questions for you are.
Is it fair for me to ask for her back after breaking up with her like I did?
Should I even try to get her back?
Am I fucked in the head/an asshole?
Notes: it’s important to know she was trying harder. I did express to her that I wanted her to contribute more financially and with cooking and stuff, and she did start to improve after I expressed this.
I noticed that she would get annoyed with me when I got sick and asked her to take care of me. She denied this but it was pretty obvious to me.
I have intrusive suicidal thoughts but don’t think I’ll actually do it. Just worried about the future if they continue. I had 2 friends and 2 acquaintances kill them self during all of this so I think that gave me a fear or suicide.
Hopefully this is understandable and the format isn’t to frigged up. Thanks for reading. If anybody feels like they were in a similar situation I’d love to talk to somebody so feel free to message me. | 1 |
It’s just relapses after relapses | I can’t remember when was the last time I actually enjoyed living and wanted to live to the next day. I remember in quarantine I would fight to continue on, saying “just make it to this day and then you can decide if you want to end it or not” and continuing this mentality until quarantine ended. I remember googling the tallest building near me so I could jump off it and how tall a building has to be for it to kill you instantaneously. But luckily I didn’t do it and eventually I recovered bit by bit and it was late last year, around the end of October, that I started to actually want to live again. I was so happy I recovered on my own without any help from a therapist or meds or anything and I managed to fight my own battle. Everything was great and I looked forward to tomorrows. There isn’t enough words to explain how amazing it feels to win against your suicidal ideations and although there were a few bad thoughts, they weren’t as bad as before. I felt content and stopped cutting myself and everything felt great.
But then I relapsed in March, killing my four month clean streak. I told myself, it’s just one cut and then I’ll aim to be clean for five months next. But I ended up relapsing over and over again. not even being a week clean and then cutting myself again. My life started to fall apart, and what was my reason to live became just another reason to leave. I don’t know why, but lately I’ve been so much more bitter, I feel as though I changed and became much more bipolar and having extreme mood swings where at one minute I think my friends are amazing and they don’t hate me and I was being paranoid and unreasonable about it all, to immediately questioning my friendships and wondering if they actually like being around me. I distanced myself from people again, ghosting and not speaking to anyone for weeks.
And there was a boy I was talking to since November who I was happy to be around and we would talk nonstop for hours way past 3 AM. And I cannot stress this enough, I truly thought I was ready for another relationship after my last one ended in April 2021. I started talking to him after i recovered and I thought I was better and I was ready to give what I could to a relationship. But I fucked it up and my mental health deteriorating ruined it. I didn’t have enough energy to reply to him and every time I did it was weeks after he texted and I would apologize and he would say it’s fine and that I should put myself first but in the end I didn’t even get to text him another sorry, I just ghosted him and I just feel so fucking horrible but I don’t think I can just text him now and lead him on or whatever because I know I could ghost him again. My relationships with people is slowly ending and I’m starting to lose any joy I had. So much bad shit kept happening, one after another, that in May 31st, I ended up attempting suicide. I stepped out the last second before shoving the knife through my chest and went to bed, what would my family think if they woke up the next morning to see their daughter, their sister, lifeless in the bathroom with a knife sticking out and blood poured all over the floor? I couldn’t do that to them.
Yet ever since that day I keep wishing I did it, eve since I googled where to jump off from I wished I had jumped off then and saved myself all the trouble from now. It feels suffocating living now. And this was such a hard truth to register, that I was suicidal again when I JUST stopped being suicidal. what hurts even more was how I also attempted suicide as well. You can’t imagine how damaging it is to think you were free from your horrible and self deprecating mind, only to cave yourself in even tighter and hurt yourself more. I’m trying to continue living, but it’s hard. | 1 |
Im gonna kill myself, I just don't want to be alone when I do it | The clock is ticking and I can feel my time is running out
It's almost time for me to kill myself
I know it
I feel it
Ive always known this is how it was going to end. I knew I was going to kill myself I just didn't know when
I'm going to kill myself
My friends are all assholes to me
I don't trust them
My family abuses me
I'm not necessarily a bad person but I'm ugly so that has ensured I will be alone forever
I'm 24 and I know my life is going no where
It's time
Please dm me
Tell me how horrible I am
Tell me that I need to do it and how great it will feel
I have the urge to slice my wrist to bits
I want to fucking hang myself
I want my pain to be over
Take delight in my final act of service
I want you all to cheer me on as I fucking end it
Watch the life leave from my fucking eyes as my post go silent and you never hear from me again
Ive lived my life alone. Even when I try to look for connections it only leads me back to being alone. I can see everyone around me get to live the perfect happy life I've always wished for
And now I know why I can't get it
It's because I wasn't meant for it
I was meant to suffer
I was always meant to kill myself
This is my purpose
The reason why no one has ever loved me is because I am a creature incable of being loved
I need to kill myself
I want to kill myself
Cheer me on as I kill myself
Tell me how much I deserve it and how better the world will be without me in it
Give me the validation that I crave
Watch me kill myself
I'm need to kill myself
It needs to happen
I need to do it
Its the only way I can be happy
I need to kill myself
I need it
I need it
I need it
I need it
I need it
It has to happen
It was my destiny from the moment I was born
I need to kill myself
I going to kill myself | 1 |
Tired of the war inside my head. Weighing the options. | 41 year old male here, recovering alcoholic & addict. Diagnosed ADHD & depression as a child, more recently dysthymia & MDD. 2 young children, failing marriage & failing business (that I started on my own).
I don't want to write a book here but gradually from about 2016 or so I've been enduring toxic levels of stress. Traditional Medications have not worked well for me, even tried Cocaine late last summer to fix it- didnt work (no prior drug problems ive been alcohol free since 2014 & cocaine free since January 11th of this year).. Spravato (esketamine) treatment worked great at first but the effects pretty much faded a month after treatments stopped. I my life is filled with toxic stress that I cannot escape, haven't killed myself only because I don't want to destroy the lives of my children, but am really starting to believe that my existence will eventually have a similar if not worse effect on their lives.. Even if my wife doesn't actually hate me, I know she doesn't like me, divorce is imminent, childcare challenges of our special needs son have us still living together, my long time "close" friends will not speak to me anymore. The walls are closing in, and I don't have the energy to fight this battle anymore, I pray for death on a daily basis (shit like "please just make it look like an accident") Its like I'm chained up and made to watch everything I love get destroyed as i sit helpless to my own wrath. I believe in God, but am convinced he hates me & I hate him because of it. I need something to hold onto as this wave crashes over me. I need an option, a reason & some hope because currently I have none of those. I've done some really fucked up things as my mind was deteriorating & cannot forgive myself despite knowing that was not "me" but survival mode taking the wheel. Fuck me, I don't feel like i can take this much longer.. | 1 |
Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment |
Im 28, the love of my life left me and told me that she never loved me. I have no friends that I relate to, no close family, i have a chronic, undiagnosable health condition that makes it hard for me to breathe, I get heartburn from LITERALLY everything, sex is impossible. I can't interact with anyone normally because of my condition and I cannot work anymore. The hobbies that I used to pursue no longer bring me joy. I have NOTHING. I cannot continue living, doing so is only postponing the inevitable.
Oh, I was also banned from all the match group dating apps (the only ones people actually use here) because they have a quota to ban 'bot' accounts. Therapy and counseling is a joke and I don't want to live as a mindless zombie on sedatives and antidepressants again.
I've always said that hope is a cunt because it's the only thing stopping me from killing myself, but I've lost all hope. I am at peace with that. I've fantasized about suicide since I was probably 8, and I'm finally at a point where I can literally see no hope whatsoever, that actually makes me happy.
I am planning on taking a large amount of kratom and seroquel (quietiapine), I read that it can be lethal, but there is little information of it available. Does anyone know? You would be doing me an immense service | 1 |
It's been a while since I was depressed | After a few weeks of finally getting over my depression I'm happy to say that I feel, alright.
Idk maybe it's because I'm highly religious (I'm a Christian btw)
I know that this does not sound suicidal but it's good to feel like this 🙂 | 1 |
6 more months | In next 6 months , either i will put my life on track on end it because there's no point of living if i can't | 1 |
what does it matter anymore | i wish i wasn't such a coward. i know there isn't a place for me in the world. relationships, jobs, it's all bullshit. there's a hollow feeling in my chest like i've been rotting on the inside for years. and no one can help. if i was brave enough to do it i would kill myself after graduation, there's no point to any of it | 1 |
I quit myself. | I quit my self, I had 6000 Dhs (1700 USD / 1500 GBP) from my savings and walked all the way to my room with my dream of wedding in August but it all vanished today, I lost the total 6000 Dhs which is hard earned money.
I don't know how am going to find this or do what ? I quit. | 1 |
I know it’s because of my period, but the thoughts are always there | I’ve been feeling very numb lately. Not happy, and also not sad, just numb and like I’m in a daze. A LOT has been going on and I notice I’m either not processing my emotions about it, or I don’t have any.
However, when my period is coming around, or the week before usually, I’ll start feeling really depressed and suicidal. Again though, I’m not feeling any of my emotions towards things that are happening in my life right now. I feel like what I’m mostly feeling at this moment is self-pity and loneliness. I don’t really feel like I have anyone. I feel for some reason, everyone hates me and I hate me too.
My thoughts are very dark right now and a small part of me wants to work through them and practice healthy coping like going to the gym and journaling, and the majority of me wants to give up. | 1 |
I have 11 more days | I’m gonna kill myself the day I turn 18 | 1 |
My dirty house makes me want to kill myself | And I’m not exaggerating. I’ve been trying to be a cleaner person but Ive been living in chaos and filth for 7 years. I can’t afford a cleaning service, I’m on government assistance and whenever I’m home I’m so stressed out, all I do is clean, work and sleep. It’s not hoarder bad, and I do use disinfectants but I can never stay on top of it. My house is one of my biggest stressors. I literally just want to put myself to rest. I’m a failure. I can never relax. | 1 |
My apartment has roaches and I can’t take it anymore | I found the first roach a few months ago and thought it was just a bug, but as soon as i found out it was a roach EVERYTHING feels disgusting. I can’t cook in my kitchen, do my laundry, I can barely be in the bathroom without thinking about how disgusting everything is, and no matter how much I clean things still feel disgusting. The worst part is I live in an apartment complex so there’s absolutely NOTHING that can be done and I’m getting to the point where I feel so trapped with it I just want to kill myself, I flat out don’t know what to do and I’m worried that I’m going to snap sometime soon. | 1 |
I genuinely feel like everyone around me would be better off without me. | (Sorry for the long read)
This has been going on for a long time and I’m constantly trapped in a will they won’t they situation with myself. I’ve suffered with depression and suicidal thoughts for many many years now but i just never had the right means to go through with anything, even though I have tried but I’ve never mentioned that to anyone seeing it was a failed attempt. With strict very religious parents who want a life for me that I don’t want and if I stick to their plan I know I will be miserable and eventually end it anyway, and a gf who is not religious who genuinely loves me but I ended up hurting them and seemingly fucking up their life by introducing them to my parents who rejected them and said many awful things to them, it’s all so much. It feels like no matter what I do I just end up making someone miserable. My gf sacrificed so much for me just to meet my parents to the point where she was financially crippled for months because she had to fly out of state to do so, just to be disrespected and insulted by my parents leaving my gf in shambles. She doesn’t want my help to try and pick themselves back up and she wants to do it on their own. Being long distance there isn’t much I could do besides just be there for them/basically watch them suffer to try and get back to where she once was and then some. And it hurts even more that I was the one that brought this pain on them by introducing them to my toxic family that I don’t even want to be a part of. Part of me wants to give her what she wants and just end it so she doesn’t have to worry about me or my disgusting family and just let them move on with their life. Another part of me just wants to end it so i can escape my family because every second I’m home with them I’m miserable. My mental health is deteriorating by the day just being around my parents. I did not intend to share this misery with someone I hold so dearly and love so much. I want to end it. I can’t talk to anyone else about this in fear it will cause a scare but most likely it is what I think will most likely happen if this continues. My gfs pain travels on to me and I feel it and I hate that it was because of me and my family that she is feeling this way. It’s like no matter what I do no one in my life is happy. My life isn’t going anywhere, I’ve lost interest in doing anything I used to love doing, I barely see my friends, Ive gone months at a time without even leaving my house and this was before all this shit with my parents happened but this was seemingly the last straw for me. I didn’t typically come here to get advice I just wanted an outlet to release my feelings to people who don’t know me personally. | 1 |
I’m really thinking today is the day. | My gf broke up with me yesterday. I moved to a new state to be with her. I now have to drive 1200 miles to go home. There was a spot I saw on the way there a few months ago that would be the perfect jumping spot. I just don’t wanna live anymore. | 1 |
Suicide note for my best and only friend | Going to jump in front of a truck tonight, tried to kms few nights ago but failed. I'm so tired of feeling like i'll never be good enough. My mental health keeps getting worse day by day and you have become tired of being there for me and my mom says im faking it for attention.
I don't know if you're reading this but i just want you to know how much i love you. You helped me through so much but i just can't do this anymore, it hurts to let go but my time is up. I'm sorry.
I love you, i really do. | 1 |
How to help my dad? | I don't know what to do. My dad (50) just tried committing suicide the other night. My mom left, my brother thinks its a joke and acts like nothing happened.
I was told by a friend to take him to an ER and see if there's a crisis unit that will help him. He doesn't have insurance, and the last time I remember even stepping into an urgent care for a "covered" COVID test I was obligated to take to return to work, I was stuck with a bill for $300 as an "office visit," which was not covered.
I was also told by the Suicide Prevention hotline to simply call 911 and have them do a wellness check on him.
I do not want him saddled with bills to go to the ER, or to find and talk to a therapist.
I don't want the police to haul him in and send him to the nearest psych ward.
Altapointe next to us is horrible.
I've seen our own psych ward with my own eyes as an employee, which is not any better.
What do I do to get him help?
We are in AL. | 1 |
how can i get help without hurting people? | i want to tell someone that i want to kill myself. i’m scared of dying but if i wasn’t at work right now i’d probably be attempting. i’ve been struggling with this since i was 11. i’ve already hurt my parents and loved ones so much with my suicidality. i’ve been inpatient 6 times so i don’t think that’s necessary, but maybe i need residential or something. i need to tell someone i’m feeling this way but i can’t stand the idea of hurting my mom again when she thinks i’m doing so well | 1 |
TW: Hearing "do you know how much pressure I'm under" when you tell them you're having suicidal thoughts and can't stop self harming SUCKS. | Title. I don't know what else to say. | 1 |
i don’t deserve to live | I hurt one of the only people that unconditionally love me while i struggle being a failure. He’s trying so hard to be forgiving, but i’m not sure if i’ll be ever able to get that level of trust from him again. Maybe this was the last straw for me to confirm i don’t deserve to live. I know it’ll hurt him a lot if i actually went through with it, so i don’t think i will. If it gets worse enough, maybe i really might. I think he’s better off without someone like me, i think my family is better off without someone like me. Please keep an eye out for me before i do anything out of impulsivity. | 1 |
i cant anymore | i just cant take life anymore. i’m on the 3rd medication so far last 2 i tried to overdoes. nothings working i’ve been in the ER twice. my father doesn’t help he thinks i can stop this all. i honestly don’t know what to do anymore. i’m in therapy but it’s just not helpful. i’m on meds but not helpful either. anyone know a painless or not so hurting way to die. i miss my mom. she’s dead. i miss being little with no problems like the kind i have now. i’m not ready to go back to school. i can find joy but still can’t do anything. i hang out with friends and family but nothing. nothing helps. i’m not getting better. it’s been like this for around 5 years. i don’t know what to do. i just want it all to end. sure there is reasons to stay in life but there’s way more reasons just to die. it would all be better then. | 1 |
Im not really sure what to do anymore. | I’m at my lowest point that I have been for a long time. Recently being told I’ve got Psychosis and Bipolar - I feel like my whole life is ending, but I want to be the one who has control over how it ends.
A bit of background: I got into a three way relationship last year - first time for everything I thought and it was definitely stressful. The other 2 were already together when I met them - so there’s obviously a history between those two, and a connection that I was yet to have with either of them because of the time difference on both relationships (2 years). I was constantly anxious about what was being said about me while I was out. Or what was happening behind my back (they were regularly hooking up with other men together before I joined the relationship) - I felt like I had stopped them doing what they liked doing and I felt like I was ruining everything.
8 months went on - the relationship broke down over time. We decided to try an open relationship but that backfired massively - leaving us all alone and single basically now. One of the 3 left the relationship a few weeks ago, leaving me and my boyfriend to deal with everything mentally.
I’ve recently split up from my partner (who is also dealing with mental health issues) - we decided I would go away for the weekend - clear my head, get away and try to better myself. I had no communication through this time. I sent countless texts and messages to check if he was okay - but I was being ignored. Social media activity was going up and I noticed things we do together (like gaming) being progressed while I was being ignored. I was trying to care but I didn’t get noticed. I felt extremely suicidal because I felt like I wasn’t good enough for him anymore. I felt like I was being a nuisance and a burden for being the way I was. I felt like he’d rather talk to other people about his own issues but continues to push me away.
I was met with arguments when I got home - I explained how I felt and I didn’t mean to make it sound like it was on him at all but that’s how it was received. He thought I was blaming him for all of it and if I did kill myself then it would be his fault - which was not what I was saying. I explained how I felt and how my weekend had been after he ignored me -baring in mind he had friends round when I got home. Music was playing and it seemed like a little party.
I got told to leave. I got told that I did something unforgivable and he never wanted to see me again. I am so broken it’s unreal. All I want is to work through shit, but he doesn’t even want to talk to me. And it’s okay everyone else offering help - but why should I continue to fight to live when the one person I was to live with doesn’t want to live with me?
I completely understand this is all over a boy - but I’ve been dealing with heartache and mental issues for years. I don’t want to go on anymore. I don’t want to do anything. I don’t want to get better. I just want everything to stop. For good. For ever.
Edit: I’ve already tried ending it multiple times this week. I’ve overdosed. I’ve tried suffocation. I’ve self harmed. I just want to know what I need to take or what I need to do for it to end properly this time. I’m sick of ruining everything in my life - this is the one thing I want to be successful at.
Apologies for the rant 😭😒 | 1 |
I dont feel like there is a point enymore | there is no point anymore i know i will never be happly in love, there is no one i want and i can't give anyone anything of value, i been on earth for a while and its just not worth fighting for, i want to die and i think im gona do it soon | 2 |
Why am I like this? What is wrong with me? | The way I think and process things in my head cannot be normal. I don’t even know what I’d call it. I’m not depressed bc I still can find joy in things and have things that I want to do, I have goals. But yet I still wake up in the morning wishing I didn’t. Wishing I would’ve gone in my sleep. Wishing I didn’t have to keep living this same purposeless life that has no value. I simply take up space. I hate myself for being this way when I have no real reason to be so negative. But I’ve been like this since I was a kid and I don’t know how much longer I can pretend to be normal/okay. | 1 |
Pls help | I 15(m) probably have autism.I cannot understand any social situations.I was always a loser and continue to be.I think I will go to the woods when everyone is asleep.Grab my knife and stick it to my head.I hope I will die.I think it will be enough.Finally.Peace.No more pain. | 1 |
Sorry | I’ve never written anything on Reddit before, so excuse me if my story isn’t perfect.
Growing up, I’d like to think I had a great childhood , but actually didn’t have one at all. I’m the oldest of too many kids not to mention all my aunts have kids too and I basically raised them all. My uncle groomed me and SA me, but I feel like it was my fault cause I always gave in? Then his best friend came in and joined.
By seven years old had my first drug bust. By 10 years old with the second. And the last one at 16. (if you’re from Canada, you know the RCMP). I can keep going but anyways..
I just want to die. I don’t deserve to be here. I don’t want to be here. I keep googling ways to go but that’s no help. Sorry I can’t even continue this post | 1 |
when the physical pain mixes in | Getting up at 7am to take pills because the pain is keeping you awake. The nausea feels…nauseating. You’re tired. It’s those days when the physical pain is just as bad as the mental pain, and you just want everything to end.
On days like this, sometimes I feel like I have to die like some climatic ending for the unfortunate protagonist. If I live and get better, what does all the pain I went through amount to? Nothing. I’m now just a broken soul stitched up, and I’ll be treated and used like everyone else, The End. When you’re better no one knows you were suffering. No one sees the mental scars. I don’t want to get better. I want them to know.
I think about it a lot, how they’d all react to my grand finale. It’s sick how much I daydream about it, the shocked faces of my peers, my past teachers, the regret that will fill them for treating me the way they have. And while hurting her is going to kill me, now my mother might take physical and mental care seriously. I want to die, but I think I want to let them know I was hurting more than I want to die. | 1 |
1 more day | I'm getting my affairs in order now. Can't even talk to the one and only person who knew me well enough to talk me down (she's pushing me away, I can feel it). Haven't felt this alone in a long time. I just accept the pain at this point. However, i feel empty, I can't feel anything. I won't accept this hand I've been delt. 34 yrs, nothing to show, I've lived a life of no accomplishments (if you can call it a life) went to school for nothing, only to end up in dept. No money and technically homeless. I have helped people only to get ditched when I needed help in return. Living with relatives is no good, all they do is argue and cause unnecessary drama. I have no friends to reach out to because I was antisocial in my younger years and never built relationships. So, what now? I don't want to exist anymore.
TL;DR
Giving myself 1 more day to get affairs straight, then I'm gone. I will not disclose any methods because I don't want to be found. | 1 |
I don't care anymore lol | I've really been thinking about overdosing or poisoning myself in the hospital parking lot so they don't have to send out an ambulance. I've gotten close to dying from a mix of alcohol and sedatives before and it wasn't nearly as panic inducing as I imagined. If I pull through all I can say is fuck you. You've made me and my siblings feel guilty for living since I was born. I've been malnourished for half my life and now I have an eating disorder because I didn't want to be a bigger burden on your stupid ass. Fuck you. | 2 |
what do the police do with your information when they are called out to prevent a suicide and whats the purpose and hows it different to a criminal record.? | context : attempted suicide on a bridge police intervened got taken to a friends house.
i dont have a criminal record.
| 3 |
It's all I can think about. | Work had been stressing me out so my anxiety has been redlining for like 3 weeks straight. Had to house sit over the weekend so couldn't even relax then and now another busy work week has me wondering what the fucking point is.
I just want it to fucking stop, for a minute or for forever, I'd take either at this point.
I know there are people that love me and want to help but how could I seriously look them in the eye and tell them my average life with not particularly bad problems is too much for me? I'm a fucking waste of space and the fact I have made it this far is a mockery to anyone who has ever had a real struggle.
I can't stop thinking about how much better off everyone else would be if I just disappeared. | 1 |
My life has just been shit so far | I turned 17 last month and I dont think a single good thing has happened to me ever. A few years ago I made a plan to kill myself when I turned 18 but I dont know if I'm gonna be able to follow that. I might have to do it earlier because everything is becoming unbearable.
I've been in online school for all of highschool and I'm entering my senior year. I chose online because the school near me is rampant with bullying and is generally unsafe. Because of this choice, I haven't spoken to anyone face to face except for my mom in over 3 years. The isolation is crushing but there's nothing I can do about it. I can't drive, get a job, or transfer to physical school for many reasons.
I'm not able to make irl friends so I've tried to make online friends and they never work out. The only friends I had from middle school ended up ghosting me a while ago. Everyone I meet online ends up just making me worse in one way or another. One person I met and became really close with ended up ghosting me after we knew eachother for a year.
Every day I just wait for something to happen but nothing ever does. Nobody messages me and nothing is fun anymore. I feel like im less than a person at this point. I don't know how much longer I can take all of this. | 1 |
I wish it had worked the first time I tried | I would be dead now if I hadn’t told someone that I had pills. If my mum hadn’t swapped them for pills that do nothing. Then I wouldn’t have to deal with all of this shit. My dad just wants me to forgive him cause even tho he was and still is abusive, he loves me. Yeah? Well maybe he could’ve seen me or my sister in hospital. Maybe he could stop burdening my mum with more finances that he has the money to pay. Maybe he shouldn’t have left for a week just cause I was sitting on his chair
Maybe if he loved me he could’ve been a decent human being. | 2 |
I can’t | I Don’t know what’s wrong with me I want to be dead so badly. I fuck everything up, nothings good about me. I swear I’m so smart and funny and all this but I’m not. I’m so unfunny and stupid and weird and ugly and short. I Don’t know what she saw in me but I have a girlfriend and she is the best thing that’s happened to me. I started cutting myself when I was 9 (you Don’t have to believe me, no one did and I understand why) and I stopped when I left 8th grade then I started again in freshman year then stopped sophomore year then I started dating her and I was so happy. I used to think of suicide daily but she made it all go away. I never thought of cutting myself or killing myself or like I didn’t deserve shit or like everyone would be happier if I was gone. But I fucked up like I was scared I would, I was scared her boy bestfriend would take her from me so I asked her to block him like I used to but then it led to a new conversation and she said she’s going back to how she used to be. And I broke. All our memories and everything that we changed about ourselves to better ourselves. I became a better person for her and I assume she did the same. But it’s all gone. And it’s my fault. So I cut myself again. I know I’ll do it again. Nothing would stop me from it. She was the only one who ever did stop it from happening but now that we’re going back in time to the start of the relationship I have no one. I mostly dropped my only other friend I talked to abt this for her. I have no one. I’m alone and I deserve it. I Don’t deserve her I Don’t understand what I was thinking with trying to make demands like that. All I had to do was make her happy and I couldn’t even do that like holy shit I’m a horrible person. I don’t want to be alive. I feel empty like a shell. I sat on my bed for about an hour, maybe 2 just crying and reading the messages she kept sending. Thinking to myself what the fuck did I do? So I started to cut myself. I made the biggest one I have. The old one was about an inch, this one is maybe 1.25 inches long and maybe 1/4 inch wide. It stings badly even as I type this. If no one reads this that’s ok, I just wanted to get the sense that I’m talking to someone. To my girlfriend if you see this, I’m sorry. I love you more than anything. | 3 |
bruh | literally the only reason why i been alive since my last attempt is just sheer guilt lmao my best friend said she would kill herself if i ever tried to od again so now im just fucking stuck here i guess! i was 5 months clean from sh but thats over now and i just been butchering my limbs with a goddamn blade i dug out of my brothers fucking gillette proglide razor because it is the only thing that feels right at this point and it distracts me from my thoughts for a few minutes. and nothihn compares to those few minutes when im not thinking. god i hate thinking i wish i didnt have to think anymore. god i wish i could talk to someone without feeling disgusting and like im wasting their time and energy and happiness. i wish i didnt soak through peoples happiness n stuff. everyone is sick of my shit and i can geel it and i dont even talk to people about my problems or anything i cant remember the last time ive genuinely opened up to a friend. i just feel so guilty like ive just betrayed them somehow, if i were to actually confide in them. god im so fucking pathetic and i wish i could be enough for my parents or something like that lmao my mom wont even look at me since i tried to od when i was 15 god this whole paragraphs is so cringe im gonna thro w upt | 1 |
I don't want to live | I don't think I am ever going to get better I don't want to live I think tonight I will get my blade and cut my main artery. This is my final goodbye | 1 |
It's over | Reddit sucks. Who knew!
During my time as mod a bunch of shit has happened, and I thought I'd compile some of the interesting bits about /r/sad before I stop coming to this dumb site permanently:
Regarding the worst thing I ever saw posted here that didn't involve death or anything. I think it would have to be a post from over a decade ago I think where some guy posted, essentially having a mental breakdown, that he had just walked in on his girlfriend and his best friend losing their virginities to each other. I think it was so horrible because of how raw and recent the pain was. There was nothing anyone could say to help. I hope that dude is doing better now.
As for cross sub drama, I don't think we ever really had any. I remember some kid getting harassed over multiple subs and he eventually ended up on /r/sad where his thread got spammed the fuck out by whichever weirdos had been following him around all day. Reddit has always attracted social rejects and if you give them even a little bit of perceived power over someone else they hold onto it like their lives depend on it (see: most moderators lol).
My personal favorite little anecdote is that whenever anything sad was posted that was related to the holocaust we'd start getting generic /pol/-tier comments as reports every time. I always wondered if random internet antisemites have some kind of bot that crawls the internet looking for holocaust mentions. Guess I'll never know.
Also of mention is all the swatting that used to get posted here. We tried to go without using automod for quite a while. Largely because I figured that a lot of people would make new accounts just to post here, and I didn't want those people to be turned away. But it turns out that if you don't have automod murking posts from new accounts that people will repeatedly post swatting attempts with burner accounts. After too many close calls I had no choice but to put automod on cleanup duty. So, if your post gets removed because your account is too new, don't blame me.
Speaking of janitor powers, we do have limits to what we can actually do. If someone's going to kill themselves unfortunately all we can do is hope that they don't. We don't have any special access to any information about people who post here. So while your panicked modmail is appreciated, we're just as powerless as you.
Enthusiastic modmail has been a mainstay on this sub the whole time I've modded it. But some of you all talked to us like we were the admins. I guess that's to be expected when a sub grows as much as this one has. Also, as a kind of a side note, if an OP is asking for ways to kill themselves and they specifically ask that you don't try and talk them out of it you probably shouldn't post a comment trying to talk them out of it. I know it's an impulse to help, but I doubt that anyone in these threads has ever been talked out of it after specifically asking not to be talked out of it.
To wrap this up, when I first became a mod on this sub there were 223 subscribers. Now there's over 100k. More so, when I became a mod on this sub, the world was a very different place. Reddit was never really 'good', but it used to be different. And the world used to be different too. While a lone internet janitor like me cannot hope to change anything I can abuse my janitorial powers to force you all to read what kinda bullshit I have to say:
First, Reddit sucks and you shouldn't use it. I'm not telling you to protest I'm not telling you to have sex I'm not telling you to get a job or to bee urself or to find God. Just go do something else. You'll be much better off for it. And if there's some community here that you feel you'll miss too much, then go make it somewhere else. It has become a lot harder to stake it out on your own on the internet in the last twenty years, but it's still allowed. Go make a forum or a fediverse instance or a fucking neocities page. Who knows, maybe it'll be your website we're all bitching about in a decade.
Second, the world is a horrible place. It's full of war, famine, disease, death, torture, and yes, an incredible amount of sadness. If you've stumbled across this little subreddit then you know that. You've felt the terrible sadness that permeates the human race even if all you've felt is speck of the whole.
Despite that, we have to face the saddest fact of all. Paradoxical as it might be we have to face the truth.
That despite the terrible terrible state of the world, it is also very beautiful.
It's easy to give up. It's very difficult to keep going. There is a comfort in hopelessness. It's a blanket to freeze to death in. I invite you, if you have any strength left to do it, to cast off the blanket, to light a fire instead.
And if you can't, no hard feelings. No one can say that we didn't try.
TLDR: Feel free to post whatever you want in this thread but be nice to each other >:( I will abuse my janitorial powers one last time to keep this up for a bit before fading back into the cyberial ether. Also feel free to ask any questions about modding this place. | 92 |
I Am Nothing, Why Does He Care? |
Who am I that He should care for me? I have been His enemy, and I have played the fool. I have no station in life, and no man should care for me. I am like a dead dog on the side of the road. And yet, in all of this, the God of the universe wants to know me... What kind of God is this? He is perfect and has no need at all. He existed before me, and He knows all things. He knew I would go my own way and seek my own kingdom. He truly loves His enemies, and He really does choose those who are lowly. Praise His holy name today; there is no one else like Him. Jesus Christ is the Bright and Morning star!
***“I, Jesus, have sent My angel to testify to you these things in the churches. I am the Root and the Offspring of David, the Bright and Morning Star.”***
***And the Spirit and the bride say, “Come!” And let him who hears say, “Come!” And let him who thirsts come. Whoever desires, let him take the water of life freely.*** *- Revelation 22:16-17* | 2 |
Would anyone be interested in a positive discord community where you can vent, getting advice and support from people who truly care? | Does anyone use discord here? I have a positive discord community for venting, getting advice and support. It’s a safe space for anyone 16+ :) | 2 |
I don’t sleep much anymore | My sleep is getting worse
I ether have nightmares or nothing and wake up. It’s feels like I’m in a loop. I know my sleep can ether show me my family getting murder infront of me because someone wanted to,or there’s nothing there and I can’t take it anymore. I have seen my twin head get ripped off more times the I can count. I seen my older brother get stabbed so many times I sometimes get afraid of him having a knife near him. My mother has died from everything like stabbing to cancer. My dads Been kill by bees,bears,ants hell even a god damm shark. So I want to know that if there was a way to help the nightmares stop or should I give up and let the sleep deprivation take me and see my demons again or try to keep hope that it’s just another void in my head. | 2 |
i still think about you on your birthday. | since we were nine, today was the most important day of the year. your birthday. that is, until three years ago when we ended things. and every july fourteenth since then, i’ve had an empty feeling in my chest. every july fourteenth for seven years was my favorite day of the year. i had a shitty home life, so it was practically my birthday too. we would wake up super early and eat breakfast, then hurry to the bathroom where we got all dolled up in lip gloss and hair chalk. dressed in aeropostale t-shirts and white converse. we would beg your mom to bring us to the mall where she would spare $20 for us to do some shopping. we never got bored of each other. then we would go back to your house for cake and casey’s gas station pizza in the dining room with all the same decorations your mom hung up every year. we would play on the trampoline for hours until sunset, when we would head over to the park. then we had our annual sleepover filled with gossip and popcorn.
being sixteen in a pandemic was hard on us. i get it now. and then he came into the picture and took you from me. and you chose him time and time again. so i ended it, and just like that, no more birthday parties. no more mall. no more trampoline. no more walks to the park. no more sleepovers. all because of a boy.
now i’m almost 20. i’m happy. i have the most amazing boyfriend and two cats and a home of my own. but i’m still empty every july fourteenth, and nothing, and no one can fill that void. | 3 |
farewell, world. | No more shall sorrow prevail in my heart,
In this final departure, I shall depart.
Leave behind the burdens, worries and pain,
Embracing tranquility, in realms arcane.
Farewell, dear world, my time has come,
To dwell in realms where peace has won.
In the eternal embrace of tranquil sleep,
Grant me eternal rest, in solace deep. | 2 |
Help me | I just want to kill myself every day I can’t live without my grandma who passed away when I 12 I’m 14 now when I was sick she would help out now my parents our divorced my brother and mom get in to fights everyday I’m moveing away from my home that I lived in for 12 years… | 2 |
Do you ever realize youre the Problem? | Ive had plenty of friends come and go in my life. And im only recently come to terms with accepting it.
Im talking, every friend ive ever had since i was a kid. And on top of moving around so much i just never connect well. Recently, i got into a petty fight with my roommate and she told me the truth.
Its me.
Im not kind, and i knew this, it just hurtswhen someone finally sees it too. I always find really amazing people and fuck it up because Im so easily annoyed and i snap back. I dont like hanging out and talking all the time and i read too far into things. And I try really hard to be relatively nicer, better. Someone you could consider a good friend. And i do my best but at the end of the day, im always snippy and i reply really shitty to some situations because of a short temper and high sensitivity. And i dont know how to fix it. But i just keep pissing people off.
And I always read things and see people say they are so happy to get rid of the friend like me because its easier to live without. And it crushes me because i know its better for them and it probably is way easier to be without the company of someone like that, but i cant do anything to change. I just feel lost. Like i dont knoe how to be a kind person.
I have empathy through the roof, but i cant seem to see it anymore when im annoyed. It always becomes a personal attack and i find a way to be hateful. | 3 |
I don't thank anyone will read this but here | You can be with a million women/men and it will never feel the same as it was with her/him and it will kill you deep down and you will hurt for a really long time. | 8 |
I lost my best friend | 2 months ago I lost my best friend and now I dont know what to do I feel trapped and like no one understands how I feel I feel like a piece of me is missing and I don't know what to do about it I loved her more than I loved my own family she was my family she was really tall like when she was 12 she was 5'11 it's crazy sometimes when I am sitting in my room doing nothing I will remember that I am never going to see her again and that I'm not living in a dream and what is going on around me isn't fake I don't know what to do anymore and I just miss her. | 1 |
I'm so tired of being sad | All I did this whole summer is cry and I'm so tired. Everyone is putting pressure on me. My misogynistic dad won't let me do things because I'm a girl and then he won't take me out either. Everytime I call my friends to talk about my problems, idk how but it always ends up being about them or they'd just be in a good mood and I feel like if I talk about my problems I'm just running their day. I'm not happy. All I do is cry in my room and at this point nothing is going to change. I wanna run away and leave all my problems behind but then the guilt is just eating up my guts. I wanna just leave this stupid world. | 12 |
why is everyone so sad nowadays? | It's affected me heavily and shaped me into someone I hate. Nowadays I just stay up late and dread all my responsibilities and life itself. I feel like I've completely shut myself off. But weirdly enough, so many people go through this. Can anyone share their experiences or surmise as to why it's just like this into today's society? | 1 |
The universe doesn’t want me anymore | I’ve really had time to think about this, but it’s just so obvious to me that the universe just does NOT want me in it anymore. My dad dies of cancer when I’m 16 which gave me ptsd and severe depression, my best friend and only person I truly trusted committed suicide last year, I’ve had to prevent my mom from taking her own life several times, all while she invalidates my feelings and experiences. I literally suck at almost every single thing I do (I’ve played hockey all my life and dedicated so much time and effort into it yet I’ve never been good at it, joined the military and I get reprimanded quite often, I go to school but struggle to really learn and pay attention) Most of my “friends” and nearly everyone around me either makes fun of me for sleeping all the time or they just straight up tell me to kill myself. The first person I fell in love with and thought I truly had, told me that they just pretended to like me the whole time and then abandoned me after that, leaving me in the most severe depressive state I’ve ever experienced. Therapy doesn’t work, medications don’t work, exercise doesn’t work (thanks body dysmorphia). I genuinely can’t remember the last time I was happy, the last time I wasn’t fucking exhausted for no reason, the last time I actually woke up and was looking forward to the day, rather than dreading it and begging to go back to sleep. Fuck this shit, I’m out, lmao. | 2 |
A little melody | https://youtube.com/shorts/5IYpSW369mE?feature=share | 2 |
What to do when you feel empty inside | I don’t feel a thing now…It’s been about 3 years since it started when I reappeared for an entrance …during the time I fucked up my previous studying habits and wasted all of my time…Ended up getting even lower rank than the previous attempt…I then Got into an average college and thought everything would be back to normal but it’s been a long time since I saw the ambitious and hard working student in me…nothing interests me anymore like they used to…I watch movies and youtube for escape…Sometimes I sleep all day sometimes not at all…It’s like I don’t have a purpose…I feel like no one respects me in my friend circle…My flatmates don’t like me..I am a slob,, daily duties feel like a very hard task.. I don’t know if it’s depression or not but I don’t like my current state…I feel like I am trapped ….I don’t have suicidal thoughts but life also doesn’t feel like worth living anymore | 1 |
I hope you’re in a better place | TW: suicide
just lost a friend who took their own life this week. I’ve never lost anybody before, especially not to anything like this. I can’t stop crying and I feel so guilty I wasn’t there for them.
Rest Easy, my friend. I hope you’re in a better place. | 6 |
Goodbye Storm | I lost my beautiful girl to a failed liver. She was only 7 years old. She was a Staffordshire Bull Terrier. It's just so quiet around the house without her. Today I put away her kennel and toys it breaks my heart and brings tears to my eyes. I don't know what to do with all her dog food and treats and washing shampoo it just is too hard to accept she is gone. She was honestly my best friend and very loyal and extremely friendly and always ready to play. It's just hurts everytime I think of her knowing she is not here. Her name was Storm. Fly high Stormy I miss you💔🕊 | 7 |
Feeling depressed | I feel vey sad today, almost depressed.
As a student, I received a very bad news today which is that I failed my first year of university. Everyone became very angry, disappointed and dissatisfied with me, which i do get it. I really don't know how to cope with this, in my whole 18 years i never experienced failure, not even one. Now that experienced one i really don’t feel comfortable, it’s so stressing and painful.
i don't really have a job and people are distancing from me, my parents don't look at me the same the used to before, they told me to get out the house and live by myself, my sister is not even supporting while I’m at my lowest and I don't really have friends. I feel like crying every moment, it’s even worse when you’re asian and your father is old and works his ass off for the family. I really am a disappointment. | 2 |
I feel like my Gf is loseing interest | So I messaged her today and she said
"oh ok" I panicked and she said she wasn't in the mood
Then in our group chat she was excited I said something and went dry and just responded to me exclusively with things like
"ok" "oh"
And only me she was fine with everyone else
So the problem is me...it has to be | 2 |
Backed into a car the day I got my car back from the repair shop. | Feeling lowest of low today. Three hours after I picked up my car from the repair shop from an accident last month that was NOT my fault, I backed into a woman’s car in a parking lot while exiting my space. I checked my mirror I shoulder checked behind and around me and slowly backed out and yet still I didn’t see her. This is my first at fault accident since I got my license 12 years ago.
When things feel so good one moment to come crashing down the next.
I just feel sad and pathetic. | 1 |
Any pointers to tell therapist off? | Plan on telling my therapist they ruinned my life.
I plan on telling my therapist they ruined my life. My therapist caused me to lose a good job and ruined one of my close friendships.
With any therapist I’ve had I’ve learned more from random ppl and strangers on the street than I have any therapist. That is not to say there aren’t good therapists out there, but they are rare.
Mental health professionals charge all this money for sessions to not fix anything. I understand we all have to eat, but to not walk away with ANY type of result is pathetic.
I’ve seen times where therapist will blame the patient or use some lame excuse if they themselves aren’t able to help when I’m all actually the issue is with the professional.
Therapy in general sucks…. especially in America. | 2 |
My friends just sent me this ): | null | 3 |
Suicidal | Hey, guys, what are some painless ways to die I only know one which is drowning but the suffocating part is horrible and I would consider a gun to the head but not 21 yet so I can’t get a gun… so I wanna live but I’m schizophrenic I been dealing with a thing that bothers me and I also have ocd when I don’t repeat sometimes I feel off … but enough talking about what’s wrong with me give me a message in pm or comment some painless methods, thank you | 2 |
I need a painless way to suicide | I’m thinking to drink a litre of 38% percent alcohol and jumping off a building will i not feel anything cause I’m that drunk | 1 |
My cat is missing | I really miss her and want her home. I’ve been looking for her everywhere. If someone could pray for her safe return i really appreciate it. | 10 |
I don’t know what to do | I (14-year-old male) made a friend in virtual reality a while back then I stopped playing, but eventually I start playing dad and I join one of my friends that I made a while ago. Over the course of two days, we became really good friends. We got cheddars number and then eventually he sent this text that I summarized to I like you. we’re both boys I’m bi he’s gay and I have feelings for him too. my parents went through my phone and said that he would have to do a video call with them if we want to still be friends. After I told him this, he stop messaging me. And eventually blocked me. I’ve been feeling like shit for the past couple of days. I tried to contact them multiple times. and every time I contacted, he just blocked me on that place. I feel really crappy and that was two months ago. I just feel like every time I think about it I just started crying I just don’t know what to do. I feel like garbage and I can’t talk to anyone about it because I feel like nobody would understand but we were very similar and I just don’t know what to do. Does anybody have any advice? | 0 |
im miserable and wanting to end it | i have no friends and im stupid and i cant do anything and i have nothing to do. there is nothing special about me and i dont enjoy anything. too scared to tell parents because mother "doesnt believe" in mental health | 1 |
Sad teenager | I'm a 16 year old boy and I've never felt sadder. I try and put on a happy face so that my family and friends don't see me suffering, but I'm miserable. No one in my life understands what I'm going through and I feel like i'm at a breaking point. | 8 |
I wanna die | I've been having suicidal thoughts since i was 16 and now i'm 18 it's getting more and more intense i'm slowly wanna hang myself or shoot my own fucking head to relieve my parents and siblings of the burden i have become | 6 |
I want to die. | I know I'm young. Like I know I'm not even 16 yet. My 16th birthday is on August 6th and I couldn't be dreading it more. I have like no friends, no one to hang out with, I haven't gotten a birthday present from outside my family is six years and I'm tired. I made a pact on the night before my 14th birthday that I wouldn't live to see 16 since I didn't want to live anymore and I don't know what to do. My parents keep asking about my birthday and I want to cry every time. I wanna go to a pysch ward for my birthday but I'm gonna be at a summer camp for three weeks. I'm gonna be a camp counselor on my birthday. It makes me feel sick and I don't know what to do anymore. The first time I tried to kill myself I was 12 and my younger sister is 12 and it scares me that she could be dealing with what I dealt with. I'm sorry, I just needed to rant/ | 17 |
Life is unfair | I want to die so badly and people who want to live keep dying. | 2 |
Think I’ve accepted the fact that I might die alone. | Got a girls number the other day. She works at a dispensary and is only a couple years younger than me. Got her number after visiting and sort of feeling a connection while taking idk we just kept constant eye contact while chatting and laughing and we’re both smiling so it seemed different than others interactions I’ve had with other woman.
I waited a day to text her so I didn’t seem desperate or something ( I overthink lot!). Text her, and got to talking about maybe going to get coffee/icees or something then go to the park to smoke and walk while we visit and get to know each other.
Well I pretty much got ghosted after presenting the idea of going on a date to smoke and get to know each other. Prior to ever getting her number she’d said we need to smoke sometime multiple times, so it’s just sad I’m finally getting the confidence to talk to women and nothing ever works out. I’ll just be single forever. I want nothing more than to have a loving wife and kids and a happy family that I could supported but I feel like it may never happen .
Guess this is just a rant and me complaining/venting. Thanks for reading if you di. | 3 |
Hurting in a bad way | The title says it All | 1 |
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