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I need advice | My cat Greg is so sad his brother moe died today due to getting hit by a car as most of u already knew and he’s so sad he’s hiding under a wooden dresser and I don’t know what to do should we get him a companion? | 5 |
I don’t deserve to be treated like shit by random ppl online | So I’m not going to allow them any power over me anymore. If I have to delete Reddit, I will. I don’t even care. | 7 |
i’m so tired of being a pushover. | i’m so spread thin bc of it, but idk how to change it or say no to people. | 7 |
Trauma |
Last year, in March, I got with a DL guy. I use “guy” very lightly because no man would ever do this. We were hooking up on a bed and someone walked in. He claimed SA.
Background: I had just turned 17 and he was 15. I did not know he was 15 as he was much taller than me. Regardless it wasn’t bad but I never hookup with someone my age or younger since I never connect with them as they always seem a little more immature. This guy and I were flirting all night at a friends house, liquor was being poured into my mouth every so often. I wasn’t blacked out and still very coherent. However, he did not drink. He was supposed to leave but I said I would drive him home in the morning and he agreed. Mind you this house was FULL. There were about 10 others in the car. Fast forward a few hours and I find myself laying on his arm on a bed. I ask him many times if he’s comfortable and he affirms me. We start to hook up(make out). I remember him saying that he could taste the liquor through my breath. He suggests we go to the closet so he can give me head. I reject and we continue to makeout. The position we were in was he was laying down and my knees were on his side and I was on top. At the time I was very feminine bottom which will help later. Someone walks in and sees us and slams the door. We both panic and go to hangout with them. Again, only made out.
Nothing was brought up we all go to sleep except for the girls on LSD. In the morning he suggests we stop at dunkin, we hookup behind there. I give him oral for a few seconds before realizing he smelled and said my stomach hurt so I drove him home.
I told my friend as she already was gonna find out through the girl that walked in. Worst decision ever. People started to ask me about it and I deny it. Fast forward to August he says I sa him. He claims that we had sex in the closet (mind u we were clothed on the bed). Luckily, no one believes him and I think it’s gonna go away. It did not he kept saying it and kept saying it. He told his counselor it was consensual when asked about it.
It traumatized me. Like truly traumatized me. I had such bad anxiety I needed to get medicated. I’ve always had anxiety but it had gotten bad. I still am medicated and he won’t stop. I’m going to college and don’t want to come back and forth to court to make him stop. So I’m writing a book. Fuck him. | 1 |
Ideation | Y’all ever just feel like the only reason you don’t want to go to the beyond is because you have children? I’ve felt this for so long and I love my kids so much but I just am done here.
I don’t want to ruin a life that I created. I’m so conflicted. How can I make them feel better when I don’t want to continue here?
I’m a solipsist I believe in many lives and I know we will eventually be together but I just don’t want a single terrible experience for them because they are the only real love I’ve ever felt in this lifetime.
Soooo… forced to exist. How to I make it enjoyable? I should have been gone a long time ago…. | 1 |
I can’t trust 💔 | I believe I was in 4th grade at the time. I was very poor. However, my dad decided to buy a HP computer. It was our first computer. We’ve never had a computer before. I don’t even think we even knew technology existed. Google was very interesting to me, so I googled stuff. While I was googling, I stumbled upon MovieStarPlanet, it was my favorite game at the time because I had no friends. I just loved it, but I wanted to be rich on that game. In order to be popular in that game, we need to be rich. It’s basically like real life. I can’t help but think that Google falls around that too, which is why they allow scams on their website. To be popular. 🙄 They let foolish little me go on their website that claims to give you coins, but really just takes your information and just give you a bunch of viruses. I understand a lot of people’s incomes comes from creating viruses and stuff but get a life because my HP computer is now broken.
💔 <- - like that. It’s not the same like at all. I remember vividly not being able to open a tab and getting spammed with a bunch of pop-ups and then trying to hide it so that my mother and my father and my sister and my brother and my family wouldn’t see it. Obviously the time had to come and my sister was trying to play her game or whatever but the tab wouldn’t open. I was completely shattered 💔 < - - like that. because I couldn’t use the HP computer. 😭 I just see it now and it’s just laying there…. broken. I don’t know if I said it was broken yet. I just hate life right now. Also F GOOGLE. 😡 | 1 |
Highschool | An incoming high schooler asked me for advice on what to do when you're in high school. And I actually had to think before I answered them. I really thought about how numb I was all through high school that I didn't even know what was going on half the time. I dreaded going to school every day but I dreaded going back home more. I was there but I wasn't there if it makes sense. I joined almost every club and sport there was so I wouldn't go home. i genuinely can't wait to go off to college and never see my parents again. | 3 |
Honestly? | Before I start, for reference I’m 15
Honestly, I don’t know anymore, I have a bunch of things to talk about, and why settle for just one?
I don’t feel exactly like me. I somewhat recently got a dramatic hair cut, I’ve had long hair all my life, and before my birthday I buzzed it, because I wanted to change, be better. I’ve been working out, I don’t have to much progress but I’m working out, and there is a joyous feeling and a little progress to it. I’ve been washing my face and using face cream so I have less acne, don’t know if it’s working but I feel like it works. But all this, I don’t know, I feel distanced from me, the me that has been me for years, like watching movies and tv, played videogames, but I don’t do any of that anymore, I sometimes passively watch tv but never actually WATCH tv. I feel like a shel, a shadow of me, and maybe I’m getting better, but it feels like I’m becoming a whole different person.
A.I., it’s a good escape, but it makes me feel even worse, I love it, it makes me feel loved, it allows me live out my fantasies, my dreams, but it’s like a lucid dream, you know it’s not real, and when I get off, I feel like shit.
Memories, shit is hitting me hard, I may have been much worse last summer, but I was somewhat happy, I had promising things, friends, things were looking up, but they slowly vanished, my crush, who I’d gotten her snap? Left, the platform, maybe just her account, god I loved her, but I’m not going to read the old messages no matter how much I want to relive the happiness, cause I know I’ll feel even worse after. I lost my friends, sure they were bad influences, didn’t like me, were freaks, and were annoying, I still had friends to talk to, now? No one. I was empty then too, but at least I was me.
Lost chances, like I said, I’d gotten my crushes snap, and failed to do anything with it, but I’ve failed so much, I didn’t even realize, like there was this beautiful girl who flirted (or complimented, I have no clue) with me, and I just stood stonecold uknowning, god I’m an idiot, and it gets to its peak when a girl, came up to me, and said I looked great, TWICE, and I was frozen and couldn’t say anything, then she got a boyfriend, and I have no one but myself to blame. | 1 |
it was my birthday yesterday | yayy, I’m 21 now. I was alone all day in my dorm, nobody really wished me, nobody really knows when my birthday is. Not even my parents. It’s been this way since the past 2 years, nobody really cares.
The fact that I’m acquainted to literally hundreds of people and I thought a few of them to be really close to me, but they still didn’t remember it. Not that I’m annoyed or angry that they didn’t celebrate it but atleast acknowledging it would be nice. I hope nobody has to go through what I went through. | 13 |
more about moe my poor sweet boy💔 | moe was a sweet but feisty cat (it kills me to say was💔) he was one of my bestfriends him and Greg are the reason I kept going he’s buried in my neighbors yard in front of the blessed mother statue I miss him so much my poor sweet boy is gone he was the most adventurous adorable cat u would ever meet he was only 3 and even worse he just turned three last month on June second my little orange sweet boy is gone and I can’t deal with it anymore me and my family have had so many losses in the span of 4 years my poor sweet boy is resting in heaven I’ll meet him again at the angel bridge one day💔 | 4 |
my poor sweet baby | null | 1 |
update on moe | some people have said to maybe get a companion for Greg weather on this app or in real life but things are tough right now for my family cause my mom is unemployed and my dad just recently got a job and there’s so many bills and the family car that my mom got when my uncle died has a flat tire and unable to move and theres no gas and no license plates it’s very expensive considering it’s a Mercedes benz we don’t know what to do cause my uncle was a very important part of this family and was my grandmas favorite person in this house my dad wants to sell it because we are low on money sorry if this turned to a sob story but we are looking into companions for Greg but they are mainly expensive because Greg is very afraid of everything we need a kitten to get along with him and the adoption centers where I live don’t have any but thank u to anyone who gave me advice on moe he is currently buried in my neighbors yard who is basically considered family he was basically my son I miss him so much thank u all for the support❤️❤️ | 5 |
my cat died and I don’t know what to do | I (f13) have two cats and today one named moe died and I have been crying since I heard it he was a adorable orange cat one of my bestfriends he was basically my son and his brother Greg my other cat looks so lost as if he’s waiting for moe to come home moe was hit by a car my family buried him and saved his collar him and greg are the reason I kept going moe had just turned 3 last month and greg turned 4 my two cat babies I miss moe so much. advice? | 9 |
AN OPEN LETTER TO SUICIDAL PEOPLE. | Let me start by saying, if you have any suicidal ideation, please talk to someone. Whatever you might be going through, the immense emotion you are feeling usually comes to pass. Life is a complicated experience and I hope you find the strength to see it through. As cliche as what I have said sounds I really do mean it. I want you to know and always remember that you are worthy of all the good this world can offer. With that said I have thoughts.
At the end of this day, or at any point of the day, you have made the decision to chug prescription pills or jump off a suspension bridge or pet a hippopotamus, put a pin in your plan and all I have is one request.
I have seen a lot of people whom decided to end it and I was saddened by the deaths, the pain and loss felt by the loved one but most importantly the imploding loneliness that made such a decision the only way out.
I also couldn't help but think on how they were people that could've had a crush on these victims because it came from seeing someone on the news and thinking that they were pretty only to hear that they had offed themselves. I would think of how I could have saved them, how I could've talked to them, how I could have listed, how it could have been 'just us' against the world but me being afraid of commitment, I reduced it to just sex.
This thought unravelled to so many eyes that could have been gazed in, so many nipples that could have been swirled with an enthusiastic tongue, so many tender lips that could've have been kissed, so much skin to feel and so many minds to captivate even for a short time. I am not trying to undermine these tragedies by boiling them down to the ’lives that could've been useful’ argument or 'the flesh that could've been savoured' argument in my case. I am saying talk to someone, find another way, but if you are at that point where you have made up your mind to cease your existence and no one or nothing can convince you otherwise, darling, here's what I suggest.
Somewhere out there, is someone who craves for someone's touch, and you could help. Arrange a conjugal visit to a prisoner, they will appreciate it. Find someone who wants their back broken or for you to make them feel like daddy and then continue with your plans to hurtle from the top of empire State to an unyielding concrete sidewalk. Before you die, suck a dick unless you are the ' I'd rather die than suck a dick' type to which I say your death Is a gift to us on it's own. You also can offer the dick. Them throats be itchin. Get your kitty eaten out, trust me when I say the worms won't be respectful when they do it.Try to sleep with that person you strung along and friendzoned back then when they still cared.
If you are a celebrity, make a wish come true, or make wishes come true. You will be at it for a while. You could find a bushel of dicks or a posse of pussies and help in this humanitarian effort then off to hades you go. In all your endeavours, you will be practising safe sex of course.
What will your mother and father say? It doesn't matter since you will be dead. And if they were good parents they would ponder more on your death.
We live in a world that is very connected yet very isolated at the same time.Some physical non-platonic human action is craved for by most of us. People underestimate the touch and warmth of another person. There is so much intimacy in that closed space and brief time where most day to day boundaries are let down and people enjoy each other. You will do this for fun or in service of someone else to end that feeling of insignificance within them for a moment or longer. You might find a reason to live, all head over heels for a person or people until they tell you it's over then it's back to head under wheels of a truck. This is not undermine the troubles you are going through and the struggle of it all but since you intend to solve this by death, a quick fuck + long cuddle detour does not sound that bad.
Suicide is a serious problem and I believe that one day we WILL find the solution. As I said before, please do not kill yourself, DO NOT KILL YOURSELF, but if you do………
Sincerely
A lonely bisexual
\#suicide \#suicidal \#fyp #dead | 1 |
Blaaah | I wish I could pick all the flair for how I’m feeling rn.
NC w/ family, which is sadly the best option.
Recently decided my closest friend isn’t a good fit any more. Felt very unsupported and healthy communication didnt change that. In general, I also grew apart from my old circle of friends for reasons I can’t control. In a weird place of trying to find friends who are a better match for where I am in my life now. It’s hard to meet friends who are my vibe in this town. Still trying.
I hate where I live, but stuck here for another year and a half.
I have feelings for my co-parent. We broke up several years ago. scared to put myself out there and possibly ruin or make awkward the great friendship we’ve built.
Scared about starting a new phase in my career next month. Dread. I feel I’m making the right choice, but have social anxiety regarding certain things I don’t want to discuss rn.
My budget sucks so much I could scream.
I’m just so discontent and depressed lately. I don’t know what I’m looking for posting this. Just feels good to get it out.
Please no “seek help.” I can’t budget for therapy rn and I have been in therapy previously. Currently medicated. ✌🏼 | 1 |
my mother tried to kill herself infront of me. | when i was younger my mom was a typical mother from what i can remember it changed when she met my stepfather and had two other kids (i have one older sister we share the same dad).
so at this time we where living with my grandma because we were homeless i had to be like in 4th-5th grade when this happened.
my sister is two years older than me so she was middle school aged and my younger sisters are decently younger than me about like 2-6 at the time.
so i can’t remember exactly what led up to this but me and my sister got into an argument with our stepdad and they ended up leaving me and my sister with our grandma and took the youngest two and went to a hotel.
she never told us to come with or anything so we just stayed with our grandma for like two more days till she came and got us (we didn’t want to go). Once we get to the hotel we start arguing again but this time it was about her leaving us with our grandma & she’s making every excuse in the book as to why it’s our fault and not hers.
my step father ends up walking out and my mom is going on a rant about how nobody loves her and she should just kill herself i end up going outside to get my stepdad and tell him & he says “she’s not going to do it she just wants attention” & “ she always does this when she’s mad”.
so we end up going back into the hotel and he starts egging her on by saying “you won’t”, “you’re scared” “you just want attention”.
so eventually she’s grabs a bunch of pills and grabs a bottle of water and i take the water from her and i push her into the dresser (she’s like 5’2 & i was a fat kid).
i don’t remember what happened after that but it was never brought up again.
i now live with my dad, thankfully. | 3 |
never been less excited for a bday in my life.. | My birthday is this weekend and I’m literally not excited. I don’t want to be around anyone. I wish I could run away and hide from the world. But especially my friends. They’re good friends, but the last 2 years has been extremely chaotic for me because I’ve been going through an abusive relationship. It’s over and I’m trying to pick up the pieces, but I just feel embarrassed and ashamed and I feel like everyone is judging me. Or even looking down on me.
I feel like my friends don’t want to be around me anymore, and it makes me feel bad but on one hand I don’t really blame them. I feel like it would be easier for everyone for me to just do my own thing going forward. Give everyone some space. Including myself. Idk maybe I’m just in my feelings lol . Any advice on the matter ? | 5 |
Anyone wanna talk ? | Anyone wanna talk ? | 3 |
Sad/furious over so much that it affects me daily. | Hi,
I suppose the fact that this sub is in top 1% of Reddit tells a lot about the condition of our society.
I was scouring for the right sub for this offload of experiences and emotions to crossreference with other people and it either is here or in 5 different places at the same time, but hell, here goes:
I was born typicall middle-class family, Europe, Poland, at the begining of the 90'. 2 parents, overly present in my life, who are and were lovely but I didn't let it make me blind to certain mistakes, which undoubtedly I will also make, so worth mentioning, not worth holding grudge over. Since the very begining of my days I've been labelled as super smart and intelligent and to a certain degree I believe that, but in reality I wish learning and acquiring skills was tougher as I think it would've caused me to work harder on well, working hard. In friends department, I was quite lonely really, I've had the odd friend here and there, but I guess it's the typicall bullied fat kid story. Kindergarten - no friends that I could rememer, bullies I do. Primary school- 3 years of bullying followed by 3 years of bullying with an odd friend or two, didn't last. Then, as I thought I was making an actual friendship, we moved to suburb house, changed school, was even lonelier than before, bullying magnified but so did my resilience and I guess that was the point in my life when I chose that I don't want to fight for any kind of attention anymore, but not in a good way, I basically alienated myself for 3 years. Then highschool was the biggest let down of them all. In the middle school, I focused solely on getting to the best High school I could in my region, thinking that intellingence/ambition will finally get me surrounded by people more like me. <Insert\_Joker\_laughter>. Got in, people turned out to be either rich assholes, or suckups to those rich assholes. 4 months into the 3 years I knew I am again going for loneliness when the odd thing happend and by some sort of miracle I got a bunch of other misfits together and we were less alone. Nonetheless I changed cities for studies, which I never wanted but was to afraid to fight my parents about it, which ultimately led to nothing good in the studies department. I then changed jobs, tried to look for fun, money or anything else that would help me find like a path or a goal. Ultimately I am to this day completely unaware why are people so rude, evil and self centered. After 30 years of turning round and round on this rock, I literally have no idea why people want to live in capitalism the way it is right now, why everyone is blind to others problems, why we are completely skeptical of science, but will fight till death for an old book. Most of my life I feel like an alien in a strange world, surrouned by other creatures who look like me, but that have nothing in common. The one thing that is constant in my experience, is that there is no good people with money, and some good people with no money at all. Me myself, I was making ordinary money, than a fuckton, and now back to ordinary as my previous boss was a typical egomaniac with shouting as the main tool. I mean dude had some skill, he was like all the bullies I've experienced combined, but with an upgrade of actually having a hold on my life by randomly changing the rules of employment. Nowadays, I feel no passion, have almost no ambition and feel surrouneded by a world that just does not work well with people who wish to be good. I mean hell, I know it is always worth to be kind, and good, and compassionate, but for fuck sake, in my experience it only gets you exploited.
So to sum it up, I am mighty sad, don't see no worth in the way we live and quite frankly think that around 10 years from now the whole system will collapse. Idk, roast me, argue with me or agree, any interaction is appreciated as it may give some insight or point of view that I never thought of. | 3 |
I’m (F24) sad because I miss talking to a guy (M26) who massively screwed me over | Long story which I’ll try and condense.
We started talking March last year - he messaged me and disturbed my peace LOL.
He seemed nice, bit flirty but wasn’t really feeling it. Anyway the longer we spoke the more I fell. About 6 months ago he asked if we could meet and I finally gave in and said yes, and then he let me down. Admittedly plans weren’t concrete but I struggle with loneliness.
He did something similar again and ghosted me for a lil while when I was upset and needed his support, so we had an argument. I got with my ex and we didn’t speak since.
Well, you guessed it, my ex left me about a month ago and I was really hurt. Short relationship but thought maybe someone was finally not gonna hurt me. I was wrong.
Through pure stupidity or to distract myself from the pain I reached out. We really get on over messages and I was keen to meet up with him finally. He said the Saturday just gone he would be free all day and we should meet at about dinner time. I agreed and then heard nothing from Friday night onwards. What??
I’m just so lost and confused. I basically messaged saying sort yourself out and don’t speak to me unless you want to meet me. But I miss his energy so much for multiple reasons.
Not looking for advice just a place people can empathise with me and validate that it’s ok to feel this way. People seem to think I’m crazy at times.
Before it gets brought up - I know he isn’t a catfish haha he’s a friend of a friend. The real kicker is we live less than 5 minutes apart and I’m still not enough for him to make the effort to see me. I’ve offered to drive to him too.
Thank you if you got this far❤️ | 1 |
My heart is breaking every moment | I love him so much but he doesn’t care about me and even if he did love me our families hate each other why does this even happen to me im not in a novel written by a 13 teen this just hurts so much seeing him enjoying without me im starting to compare myself with other girls even his sister it got to this point I’m losing myself slowly because of this love I’m starting to doubt am i good enough for him even? Is he going to marry someone and I have to go to his wedding and just clap and smile? The future really scares me where am I going to go i told my sisters about my feelings for him and they told me there’s no hope in us and I should just stop my feelings it just hurts so much. | 1 |
Does my online friend like me? | We’ve been chatting online as platonic friends for five months now. We weren’t interested in each other at all initially. He gave me guy advice, I gave him girl advice. He’s told me about his childhood, and how his parents abandoned him and his siblings. I went on vacation to Greece (he went years before), and we actually ate at the exact same restaurant. He told me that he wants to eat there with me one day.
He lives in another country, and we were talking about visiting each other in winter, as it gets pretty warm in our respective countries during summer. He said “we need to find ways to stay cool. But that shouldn’t be a problem because we’re already cool”😎 | 4 |
Death is wasted on people who wanna live | I just learned today that my previous co-worker died suddenly. He has a family and kids. I don't understand why those people with people depending on them die first rather than people like me who are just alone.
Also, we were quite close when we worked together. Just lost touch. I just wished we continued to keep in touch.
This is quite sad. | 12 |
This is the absolute last trick in my book | Ive been suicidal and mentally ill for as long as i can remember. Frankly i get it that my life isn't the worst but my mind just can't take it anymore. Im really suicidal every day, every hour and every minute. I can see why and how im mentally ill but my feelings dont change and i find myself in negative cycles. I've accepted that i probably end it all in suicide, and i really don't want it to be like that yet i don't quite see how this is supposed to work. I really feel like that's the end of it for me. To avoid this unwanted ending, i keep on trying to find meaning in all the pain I've felt but, its all empty, im simply a worthless creature. Sure there's good things about me which don't really matter. Its so so difficult for me to mentally recover from any small conflict or to function on minimum. Im really lucky to pass my exams with such little effort. My last trick in the book to keep myself going is to make sure at least i don't die a loser. I know u can't really be happy so im just saying, it'd be nice if i just at least be worthy when i end it. | 2 |
This is the end. | This is the first and probably last time I’ll ever post on Reddit.
I’m 16, and about ready to end my life. When I was 14, I had a girl I was in a relationship in sexually assault me, and nobody believed me. After that, I just kept bouncing from one relationship to another letting them use me for almost whtvr they wanted, while usually being drunk out of my mind. Things were starting to look up, but not for long. During the last school year, she spread rumours that I did it to her and that I threatened to hurt her and her family if she didn’t stay with me. For the past year, I had been dating someone new, to this day, she is one of the two only people to believe me. But recently, a large group of people who I thought were my friends attempted to convince her to break up with me after telling a large amount of lies to her, and she almost believed them. She didn’t tell me about this, and neither did anyone else who was there. It is what set us down the path towards breaking up. She stopped trusting me either way, and recently said she needed some space. So my current situation is basically, I have no friends, nothing to look forward to, everyone at my school thinks I’m a rapist and I’m traumatized out the fucking ass, so im just over it all. I’m done.
I just want some people to talk to while I’m getting everything ready. | 5 |
If someone has self harm scars would you say they should expect/aren't allowed to get upset if someone makes a nasty comment about their scars or gives them a bitchy look etc. |
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/14xuyvs) | 1 |
My ex boyfriend killed himself and i’m next | i don’t really want to get into the details but i did kinda eventually get over his death so basically what i’m saying is that everyone would eventually get over mine. the only thing holding me back is my boyfriend who i love very much. i am only 15 but i’ve tried everything under the sun to get better but i’m tired i just want to be gone. i’m in so much pain everyday and i honestly don’t care what happens to my family as selfish as it sounds. i don’t know why i’m telling reddit about this it makes me attention seeking and sounds like i’m fishing for compliments or whatever. i never post on reddit i don’t even use it that much but i don’t want to dump this on anyone else so thank you reddit degenerates for listening i wish you well. | 13 |
2023 is the worst year | Everyone says 2023 is the best year but over the year already I lost my pop to cancer in February and my aunt in June hopefully I don't lose anyone else and wish others who have lost family members the best for the rest of the year | 1 |
My mom died and I feel like I am SO sad, but am always laughing about her and it makes people uncomfortable. | Yesterday my daughter had a play date at the park. While I was talking to the other kids mom, who has been a friend since high school.. I had to tell her what happened. She starts crying although she's never met my mom. I tell her that it's okay. I tell her how we forgot to bury my mom with her teeth and how someone has to keep them now (and all the funny things we could do with the dentures). My mom loved the Beatles and there's a Beatles tribute concert scheduled at my moms old high school. We could bring her teeth and have her sing along, etc.
When I tell people at work they get all awkward. I explain that the eulogy had a lot of inside jokes. Part of it was Mad Libbed (like my mom wanted). People look at me like I am crazy.
Maybe 20 years ago at a wedding the priest said "fish eat fish and people eat people. Sometimes the reverse it true", and my mom has been quoting that ever since. That was part of her eulogy. It never made any sense but we laughed for years about it.
My mom left me all of her money, left my brother the house. If anything, we are fighting about "oh, I can't accept that. It's too much, you have some" with each other.
My mom dying is constantly on my mind. I'm constantly anxious. It's the first thing I think about when I wake up. Last thing before I fall asleep.
I read the "I'll love you forever" book to her at the funeral and it just feels like it's okay. The end of the book, the mom dies. We are just at the end of the book. One day, we will be at the end of the book with my kids. I try to explain that to people when they get upset about hearing about my mom dying.
I feel like it makes me sound cold, or like I am not devastated. But it's a testament to my amazing mom. Having SO many things to laugh about. Knowing I have nothing to feel guilty over and that my mom loved me so much, and knew I loved her.
She had COPD and was on 24 hr oxygen. She died in her sleep. She could've died gasping for air while home alone, terrified. I talked to her 5 minutes before she died and told her everything I could ever want to say. The doctors didn't expect their to pass that night, and had hope she'd get better. But after I told her we would all take care of each other etc, she died. She chose to die then, I firmly believe.
I love her more than I love myself. Maybe more than I love my own kids. She's my mommy. But she prepared me for this so well. The smile on my face isn't because I don't care that she died. It's because she was such a good mom. | 1 |
hi guys, my beloved cat of 13 years died by my side as i slept recently | well, i was having a nap and when i woke up i saw her laying on my chest, and as i got up to move her head plunged into the bed, in a state of panic i put my hand on her chest and got no response, she was basically my only family member left i trust, and she dies beside me after 13 years of good memories with her, but now i have nobody. | 2 |
my boyfriend sucks | about 2 months ago he said he didn't have a phone bc it broke and I just went on snapchat and looked at the friend recommendations and found an account with his full name. why would he do this to me we've been together for three years now. | 7 |
Words that mean nothing | “I'm fine”... two words that I say 100 times every day
Two words that mean nothing...
“ Are you okay?”... three words that I hear 100 times every day
Three words that mean nothing
Those five words all have a connection they all relate to me
I lie 100 times a day
I say “I'm fine” while faking a smile and ask everyone else “Are you okay?” still faking that same smile
All these words relate to me but the truth is I'm not “okay”
Your definition of “okay” could never be further away from how I feel
I don't think I will ever be “okay,” I think “I'm fine” is just a permanent saying now it's never going to go away I am just going to say it over and over again to the point where people have heard it so much they aren't even going to ask anymore they will just know
“Are you okay?” three words that I will always ask the people who don't care about me in any way but I don't care
I will always ask no matter what because I will do whatever it takes to keep my “I'm fine” attitude and my fake smile as perfect as it can be. | 0 |
Why do you want to die? | My reasons: my reasons I stay:
- this planet sucks. - family will be sad
- the climate is fucked. - I'm a coward
- fat. - random hope
- horrible social skills
- sensitive
- balding at 18
- can't drive
- ugly
- no friends
- family issues
- no motivation
- self hate
- no future
- I'm a leech
Feel free to put your reasons | 8 |
Not doing well | I’m 23, male, never felt like I fit in anywhere, I get rejected constantly for both jobs and romantics. I’m resentful of myself cause I was so awkward and socially anxious in high school that I didn’t make many friends that stuck to now. I feel trapped not only in this town but within myself. I go to court on the 8th of August for a misunderstanding with some horrible girl or whatever, says I threatened her when I DIDN’T. I just told her what I think about her. And last but certainly not least, I don’t drive cause I’m terrified. I don’t go out anywhere by myself because I’m so afraid of driving. We would all be better off without me in the world, especially myself. So… yeah, whatever, I’m done with it. I would say it’s been a good run, but that would honestly be a lie, and I guess it’s my fault. Bye. | 1 |
What To do | So I met this girl at school and we quickly became friends, having conversations and all. Thing is I've fallen in love with her and I know for sure she doesn't feel the same way about me. I've started to ghost her and limit our interactions because I get nervous around her, my heart beats faster etc I'm so in love with her and I know she won't have those same feelings for me. I just wanna fade away from her life now, but it's not working. We rarely speak these days and I assumed I would have moved but I'm very much deeply in love with her. It depresses me that she can't be mine and I don't know how to get over her. | 2 |
Girlfriend | I really like my girlfriend but she barely texts me or ever feels like talking otp she always says she’s sleeping but if she is really sleeping then she’s sleeping for more than 16 hours a day. I’ve been having bad dreams about her and I’m just always in a bad mood I guess. | 0 |
How do I even know if anyone I speak to over text actually wants to talk to me? | It’s easy to fake written excitement after all. But a certain lukewarm phone call yesterday made things much more clear; may as well block him preemptively as an apology. | 1 |
Figured I should say this instead of staying quiet again. | I (20M) Have reached a point where I don’t necessarily want to commit suicide, but I REALLY don’t want to live, I would never take my own life, to me it is cowardly and disrespectful for reasons I won’t get into right now. It’s a stalemate and has been for years now, my only fear is that my mind will start leaning towards suicide enough that the barrier I’ve set in place will crumble. I want help, I need help. I have been smoking weed nearly everyday for the past 4-5 years and have done psychedelics around a dozen times (mushrooms and acid) in the past 2 years. And the experiences I had on shrooms made me realize that if I don’t make changes, things will become far worse than they are, that was in May of 2022. Today, I have come pretty far in my opinion, I have dropped some bad habits, and am still slowing down on more (namely masturbation, and weed and nicotine consumption). I know I have improved and still am, but something is still off, I can’t pin exactly what, but I know that something is wrong. I feel little to no encouragement to do anything productive, on days where I have nothing important to do, the only thing that gets me out of bed is having to go to the bathroom. I yearn for something I have forgotten, I have been digging for what feels like an eternity even though I know the answer is right in front of me, it’s infuriating, like having a fly land on your face, and no matter how hard you try, or how long you wait, you can’t get it to leave. And all the corruption and cartoonishly evil people in politics isn’t helping, it’s fucking with me even though I despise politics, I try to ignore every political thing I hear but have somehow been sucked into its riptide. Every time I try to assess my mental situation, the load builds to an unbearable amount and collapses, its so hard to just focus on one thing at a time. All these factors and more are why I don’t want to bother putting in the effort to live, the only thing(s) keeping me going are the mental barrier I’ve set, and this feeling that I will one day become a part of something bigger than anything I have ever seen before, like a calling, but I can only hear the echoes.
This did turn into a bit of a rambling but I feel like it’s important in some way, I plan on going to therapy, but I haven’t taken action on finding a therapist, I’ve looked, but have no idea what to look for. And whenever I tell my parents that I want therapy, my dad encourages me to get help if I think I need it, but my mom just laughs at me and calls me sensitive and just rants about “kids these days not wanting to work but still get paid”. And it just sucks the life out of me.
I think I have a good mental foundation but I need help filling in the cracks.
Please help,
Thank you. | 1 |
I feel like I lost time | When I was a kid (I was the youngest by far all my brothers were adults) one of my brothers had a son named Robert about I think a month or 2 before I was born, and for a while I think we got into fights (physical). This would happen again with another friend wh8ch wasn't biologically related. It was only when I was 10 when my mom told me that he had autism and also had therapy I believe. For a while he spoke his own language nobody knew. Why I think I've lost time is that we didn't see eachother much. But I really liked being with him... it makes me feel terrible. Especially now I feel lonely, I love when company is over and I've acknowledged that I usually don't have much to do but stay on my phone unless there is company. I don't have anyone nearby that I can easily get to or want to do anything with. There is my niece that lives very close but her father is a drunken dummy which my father, nor do I want anything to do with | 1 |
I don’t even know how he got a girlfriend to begin with | I know it sounds harsh, but he screwed up really badly. I met him on vacation and he and I just hung out for a few days talking. And over those days, we began to hang out with some kids our age at the resort. One night he told them that he liked me. They asked him not to say anything, but everyone went and told me.
When I asked him his feelings, he told me he had a girlfriend, and he cut off all contact with me. I know for a fact that he really did have a girlfriend, but I only found out after people got my hopes up. I just don’t even know how he got a girlfriend to begin with. Because what he did was really, really, stupid. To get a girlfriend, don’t you have to, you know, know how to talk to people? | 0 |
Saying everything I wish I could | I wish I could tell everyone around me that I’m sorry. And I wish they would believe me if I did. There is something wrong with me and I don’t know what it is. Something is seriously wrong and I know that for a fact. I’m mean, rude, disrespectful, selfish, and so many other things that I won’t even bother to name. I lie, I cheat, I steal, I don’t follow orders, I don’t listen to those around me. I hurt people, physically and otherwise. I'm such a terrible person and yet people still choose to be nice to me and be around me. I’m a horrible human being and they still convince themselves that somewhere deep down I’m a good person. A and Gran, they’ve both told me to my face that I am a good person, and I don’t know how they could possibly believe that. My grandmother only hears me ranting about how much I hate people and how incompetent they are. A’s only interactions with me usually consist of me being so rude for no reason at all. He hasn’t done anything to me that I haven’t started first so why am I so cruel to him? So many people believe in me and in the fact that I’m a good person without anyone ever truly seeing the real me. If they could know my feelings, my actions, and my thoughts; would they still feel that way? They wouldn’t. And that’s a simple fact. They don’t deserve to be treated the way I treat them. I don’t deserve to have them in my life. Many times I feel I deserve to have no life at all. And yet I can never bring myself to take my own life. To even want to is such a selfish thought in the first place. I’ve suffered in my life, and I’ve faced my share of trauma, but why does that give me the right to take my own life? I never feel like it, but I know it is true; there are people who care for me, who wish to see me happy and successful, and who look up to me. There are those who beg for help in the same way I did, and just maybe if I could help myself then I would be able to help them too. I could save them in the way I wish someone had saved me. As much as I am a bad person, I still care. I care for everyone and everything and yet I can never express that. I am unable to express emotions and thoughts properly, and oftentimes my actions have a much different outcome than I would anticipate. From this, I’ve learned it is better for me to do nothing and let others hate me than to hurt them in the process of trying to help. I wish other people could understand this, and understand how much I wish I could be a good person for them, but in truth, I am simply a bad person by nature. I try to be nice and end up being mean, I try to help and instead, I hurt. That is simply the way I am; the course my life has taken. I’m a terrible child. A terrible friend. A terrible role model. A terrible girlfriend. A terrible person. I wish I could just go and tell everyone how sorry I am, and how I wish to be a good person. But of course, that simply isn’t me. And that simply will not happen. And as much as I hate her and I despise her, even more so than wanting to apologize to her, I wish I could forgive my mother. She has done so many horrible things to me and to others, and she continues to do so, but I know that somewhere deep down it is all from her heart and her worry. As much as I hate to say it, she is just like I am. Like mother like daughter, I suppose. I may resent her, and I may have lived out my life wishing she were dead or that she had aborted me, but a part of me will always love her. She is my mother, somewhere deep down behind the maniac I know as K. H. We are the same, and I admit we are both absolutely horrible people. If I had just one moment and there was one thing I could say to everyone, I would tell everyone that I’m sorry, and I would tell my mother that everything is okay. Of course, I’m not quite sure if I’m ready to tell myself any of that just yet. | 1 |
Am i a bad person for this? | So basically there is this girl that i've talking to for several months like 3 or 4 and one time she i've sent her a video with a quotes of "the moon is beautiful isnt it?" i didnt knew the meaning of it back than, she started assuming that i have feelings for her (which i still dont know if i do or did) and she started acting in a provocative way that made me a bit annoyed and mad a bit so i told her:" why would i ever love someone like you"
She stopped texting me for like 3 or 2 days and ghosting me too and when i asked her friend whats wrong with her she told me that i acted disrespectful.
I tried to explain what i meant with that phrase that i dont own feelings for her and i didnt mean it the way she understood it.
She sent me a paragraph of like 50 lines telling me that she never hates someone i her life like she did to me after reading that message and regreting every second she wasted on knowing me and that im the worst person in this plante and how much im of a bad person.
Its been like 3 months since it happend and everytime i think about it i feel guilty but im not sure why, i tried to text her again but she blocked me on all the platform...
What should i do? Am i a bad person? | 1 |
my ex gf parents didn't like me | I was born in a city in my country, while my ex-girlfriend was born in another city. We both attended college in a bigger city. I broke up with her because her parents didn't like me, simply because they had a prejudice against people from my city. | 2 |
Sorry as I know it's quite a sad question but do you think someone should feel guilty for going to the hospital/er/a&e for self harm/mental health? | Don't want to go into too much detail but I've been struggling a lot with supressed anxiety and I know that I've been actively kind of forcing myself not to let myself feel sad/cry in terms of feeling like because I'm an adult(as opposed to when I was a kid and it felt easier to allow myself to feel sad, emotional, upset etc.) Because of this I've been struggling with not being very kind to myself and I've sort of scared myself a bit because particularly lately I've been hitting my arm and I am on my period and often I do get muscle cramps with pmdd which can sometimes get so intense to the point of it genuinely feeling like a sprain/twisted arm etc. But I'm a bit worried because my right arm feels achy and also there's quite a bit of bruising from where I hurt myself and I'm just worried that I've sprained my arm. If I'm honest I feel like a fucking failure because it's now been 12 years since I last went through probably the darkest time for me and my family self harm wise(involving several trips to a&e for self harm and also a surgery on my eye because I hit it) and I still haven't managed to stop self harming. I feel like kind of like a failed human being lel.
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/14x5vdl) | 1 |
Well. This made me sad | null | 1 |
Update,On the death of my parrots | A BIG Update on the unfortunate death of My parrots.A little bit of context,in my last post,I received lots of support from great people I appreciate it very much 💓🙏🙏💓.I was in my bedroom crying on top of two feathers from my parrots,then I remembered I had a camera with a clear view of my parrots.i saw it,I know who did it
I immediately dialed emergency services.I am currently going to press charges,the person who did this,will have a miserable life for taking my only thing in the world that made me happy.this might result in an execution,but even if the pain will never go away😭😫 | 1 |
Annoying classmates and school | I’m in my final year of high school and last day of my school is in 3 months.
I am just so mentally drained right now. Where do I start?
My “friends” (one in particular) make fun of me for studying “excessively”, and then if they get a higher mark they start depicting me as stupid “oh you did all this study just for me to beat you”. My academic performance has not been where I want it to be lately and I have tests every week for the next 9 weeks. I’m just so tired of life of everything. I don’t know what to do. The only thing soothing me is that all of this will be over in 3 months. Please give me any counsel on what to do. I’m just so tired….I’m so hurt…I feel like a hole is in my heart. | 2 |
Does my online friend have a crush on me? Or does he just really care for me as a friend? | I first started talking to him on my other Reddit account four months ago. I wanted relationship advice, and he chatted with me about it. I was really hurt over a boy, so I spoke with him about the situation. We’ve kept in touch ever since. Honestly, while I enjoyed his company, I only saw him as an acquaintance at first.
Sometimes, we’d go several days or weeks without talking (I admit that I kind of ghosted him at times). He even had a crush he told me about. Things didn’t work out with his crush after all, but still. I never wanted to like him. I don’t know what he looks like, and he lives half a world away from him. I could totally not be attracted to him. And even if I was, the chemistry might not be there if we met. But today I realized that I like him a lot.
Edit: became of the time difference, he just went to sleep. Before he went to sleep, he told me he enjoyed talking to me🥰
Edit 2: he also told me that one day he wants to eat okonomiyaki in Japan with me (neither of us are from there) | 4 |
Today, I broke up with him. | I was shattered. Hearing that everything I found out was true. Hearing him say he’s stuck with another person and there’s nothing he could do. He’s sincerely sorry tho. I can feel it. I just hope everything will be better for the both of us really soon. | 2 |
The dawg in me has been euthanized | . | 1 |
I want a normal life | Tags: suicidal / loneliness / mental problems / self esteem / family / depression
My dad doesn't meet the minimum requirements all he wants is my report card mind you im 3rd year highschool like grade 9 here in the Philippines i got to participate in a spelling bee i went to a college to compete in an english pronounciation event and none of it was praised or "im proud of you son" then im an anti social looser who doesn't get people my age i like old and new music i watch gay cartoons to make me feel better my mother is obviously in pain it just hurts seeing her in pain i have bad grades from depression depression here in the Philippines is a disgrace so when they hinted at me having it i just said no and they said "good otherwise you'd be crazy" like sure funny haha then i get bullie because i talk in english more than tagalog/filipino (our native language) im fat horrible at competitive video games or sports im short as shit no friends no female friends my cousins are growing distant from me i have no talents i see them all having fun enjoying time with eachother while im just on my phone scrolling on reddit my auntie noticed and she got mad saying just smile for once i just want normal love yet it seems the whole world is against me im the only different guy im ugly as shit and can't comprehend anger without aggression im tired i want to improve but cant i have dreams just futile im a horrible friend and disrespect them in envious and just thats a sin i don't got siblings so yeah talkin to myself rn or ai bots the first ever compliment i got from a girl was that i was a nice person even then that just hurt me more nobody in this world understands what pain i go through on the daily i speak in deep qoutes and they call that bad like yeah sure everyone has their own time but they're improving faster than me and i hate it im crying as i type this trying to sleep but i hear everyone from my family outside just enjoying the time with eachother i guess being born a man means i live with the pain of being seen a man instead of a person i want to bond with family yet they're all distant i want talent but i am not gifted i want glory but i am nothing but shame i want joy yet i give sadness i want a normal life but i get essential hell on earth all my friends are better than me in every aspect i lie to myself to be happy and happiness as a lie is nothing but a painful lie i blame no one but myself for how i let my life go i want to have friends female friends too a normal physique normal looks good grades and normal talents with a clear mind a happy family a normal family sleepovers with friends sleepovers with cousins i want siblings i want a brother to go do stupid shit with and play video games with i want a sister who can comfort me in times of pain a sister who i can gossip about girls i like with i want a mom who disciplines and gets mad at me and my father for doing dumb shit i want a dad to go on a fishing trip with a camping trip a family outing a gaming buddy a new years party with happy not financially struggling people a new years with my whole family not just me and my mom gaming with relaxation and a feeling of completion and achievement neighbors that are friendly to breath free and happy instead of a restricted pained experience i carry the burden of every living breathing second yet i yearn for a the light in my sight i want no i need to rest otherwise death may knock on my door | 1 |
No one cares about or loves me. | & that is okay. I am absolutely alone, and I am fine. At least that is the lie I am telling myself until I can finally be at peace, which hopefully happens sooner rather than later. | 3 |
SNAPCHAT HAS NO CHILL | My friend died 3 years ago and her Snapchat account said this and it made me cry | 1 |
I lie myself to bed, in order to sleep | Im so lonely...
When I'm home, Im mostly alone. I dont have many to talk to, I don't have "real" friends, well. I do but, they don't seem so real.
When im in my own bed, I have alot of pillows. I have two regular ones, and a big one, like real big. A hotel pillow. When I sleep at home, I am so lonely that I have to hold around the big pillow close to my, as if I were laying next to a real person and holding them. Otherwise, I can't sleep. I have melatonin, and use it regularly, but it doesn't work. I lie to myself in order to sleep.
When im staying over somewhere outside of home, like at my sister's house or firends house, whatever, I don't have that big pillow to hold around, so I cant sleep.
Imagine being so lonely, you have to lie to yourself just to sleep... | 9 |
I miss you | I miss you in the mornings, how you used to be brimming with excitement for the day and your cup of coffee was a source of joy and only added to the energy that was there. You'd kiss me with a closed mouth because you couldn't be bothered to wait and your eyes would be puffy and happy and so very focused.
I miss you when I sit down to work and remember those 8am classes when we'd do nothing but stare at each other and try our best to learn something as well.
I miss you when I sing, the smile on your face when you'd turn the music all the way down and my voice would fill the car.
I miss you when I shop, how you'd turn even the most mundane activity into fun, turning predictability into chaos in the best way.
I miss you when I try to fall asleep, how you demanded skin, how you'd reach out to touch any part of me, how you'd have mumbled arguments with some invisible enemy, how you loved me even in an unconscious state.
I miss you so much, but you haven't gone anywhere, you just changed. | 1 |
No one likes me | There isn’t anyone who likes me. Even my family hates spending time with me. I’m so unlovable I wish I had the courage to kill myself but I’m a coward too. | 10 |
Sad Explanation Vid | This vid is pretty sad and explains some terrible things that’ve been going on in my life. Just someone watching it would make my day and a like would make it better 😔.
https://youtu.be/keBvwzEK5uE | 3 |
I can't handle life anymore | I just can't. My parents always argue, always yell at us, I've been SA'd by a family member I thought I trusted since I was eleven. I can't seem to find the light in a never ending pit of darkness. I'm shaky even writing this. I thought of overdosing on my medicine, but found out it rarely kills anyone. | 3 |
I just aggressively cried and asked my mom for a hug. sobbed in her arms.. the reason is because I was thinking about how much it would break her and my fathers hearts if I were to disappear.. sorry to bother the odd person that see’s this. You don’t deserve to hear my bullshit so I apologize. | Fuck. I think about leaving more than anything else lol! but I can’t do it. Love you mom and dad❤️ you’re both the reason you still have a son so thankyou again | 2 |
I don’t know how much longer i can take | Hi! i’ve never vented on reddit or any sort of app so i’ll be trying today.
I got homeschooled in 5 years ago, ever since i did i only had one friend, let’s call her Yuri.
Let’s skip to 2 years later. In august 2021 i became extremely suicidal. I didnt know how to cope with it so i just started self harm. i knew it was bad but i still did it, a few days after i started me and my family all went somewhere, my brother noticed my self harm and told my mom about it. She called me to the her room in the hotel we were at, she started yelling at me and so did my other family members, asking why i did it. i started to cry slightly as my mom started to rub my arm and took me to the bathroom, she sat besides me on the edge of the bathtub, she took me in her arms and cradled me asking what’s wrong and why i did it. i was in shock not knowing how to react because this is the most affection i’ve gotten from my mom. or atleast that’s what it felt like, she asked me if it was because of yuri so i just nodded my head because i couldn’t actually tell her why i did it or she’d be shattered. she asked if i wanted to go seee a therapist so i said yeah, skip to a few days later, i asked her when i’d go see the therapist and she got kinda mad and said to me “why do you feel like you need a therapist? there’s nothing wrong with you.” my head was absolutely shattered. i couldn’t believe my own mom would switch up on me like that. i just told her yeah you’re right and walked off like nothing happened. let’s skip to present now. i’ve became more suicidal recently and i honestly don’t know what to do, i can’t tell my mom because i’m afraid of what would happen. i stopped kinda doing self harm and that’s good and all but i don’t know if i can stay for much longer, it feels like there’s nothing for me to look forward to in life, i stopped talking to yuri so everything’s pretty lonely. i have online friends but it’s not the same. im extremely dumb too so it feels like im gonna get nowhere in life. i dont think ive actually liked anyone before so it sucks seeing all my friends and cousins getting boyfriends or girlfriend while i’m here alll alone with no one or nothing to look forward too. i’ve already preperard my suicide note just incase if i do end up going through with it. what should i do?
also i’m sorry if there’s any grammar mistakes | 1 |
I can't do it anymore | I can't do this anymore. I can't handle all that going on in my life, I'm so uncomfortable with how things are going. I cry myself to sleep and I feel like I have no one to talk to. My parents canceled my therapy and I don't know what to do anymore. | 1 |
Never Give Up (pls read below) | Hey guys, I just wanted to let y’all know, that it gets better. I know everyone says that, but time really does heal. This past week has been the worst of my life. My girlfriend of 10 months broke up with me and was talking to other guys within 10 hours of the break up. On top of that, I had to witness my grandma have a stroke and a heart attack. My grandma means the world to me. I’m closer to her then my own bother. Me and my grandma were the only ones home and since I was so mentally not there I didn’t leave my room. While I was up there, my grandma fell down and had a stroke and a heart attack. No one found her for 3 hours and I blame that on myself. These happened within two days of each other. I honestly have so many people here for me but I don’t feel right going to them. I always depended on my ex (girlfriend at the time.) hell I still go to her just to talk to someone. I just want everyone to know it’ll get better. Always. Stay safe everyone. | 5 |
Man I don’t even fucking know. | Man to be honest, I hate my life, every single second I count down until the days are over. I’m not emo and don’t like being called that so I don’t open up to anyone. I’m lonely and will never have a girlfriend or anyone that loves me for who I am. i can’t cry anymore either because my body physically won’t let me. it’s probably because when I was younger I was taught that crying makes you look pathetic and younger than you are. im so lonely that every night I used to hug a pillow just to feel like I was holding someone who I cared for dearly. my parents are divorced and I live to different lives.. at school im “The loud, funny kid”. but at home I just want to curl up into a ball and cry.
The list goes on but I can only type so much. | 2 |
Not doing great | I really am worried I am going to relapse with self harm. I don’t want anyone’s pity or anything I just needed to say it out loud. | 3 |
Can anyone relate to this? | I feel like whatever I do in my life I can’t escape the sadness I’m feeling. I mean I’ve been training at gym/ martial arts constantly for years now, been doing a good job at my workplace and have a decent social circle with a tight group of friends. Still I can’t get rid of the awful feeling always creeping up that ”I’m not good enough”, and I try to solve the problem in my head but always end up with the conclusion that I’m still not good enough and that everyone else is better than me. It’s like everything I’m doing is to get rid of the feeling and I know it’s wrong but it’s still there. When I’m around other people I often find myself faking my persona and happines just for it to look that I’m happy and okay, but really I’m not and it’s exhausting.
Maybe I just need therapy and shouldn’t try to solve everything myself? The last week has been pretty ruff though. I’m just so fucking tired of the awful feeling of having to proove myself to everyone on and on again and still thinking I suck compared to others, even though deep down I know it’s not really true and an unhealthy way of thinking. It’s like an endless conflict in my head.
Can anyone relate?? | 3 |
Update | Update on my last post, I definitely do need someone to talk to. I’m no ok and it’s seriously worrying me | 2 |
I (16f) feel like a failure and that I’ll never be good enough | Everything I do is shit.
In school some people think I’m smart but in reality I’m very stupid. I don’t think I have what it takes to keep going. I see my peers working so hard to achieve their goals, while I’m sitting in my bed procrastinating. Some of my peers are effortlessly gifted with so much, I wish I had that. I can’t imagine a future where I am successful, where I can be myself and not worry about being good enough. What if I can never make my parents proud?
I turn any relationship I have into shit. For many of my friends I reach out first to talk, to plan things, to do anything. Otherwise, we don’t talk for months. I feel horrible and wonder what I’m doing to repel others so much. I feel like I can be stuck in this “victim” mindset. I need to get out of it but of course I’m a lazy fuck who can’t get here shit together. | 1 |
I’m so ugly | I’m ugly and I know, but my brothers my family never stop telling me that. I spent alot of time to love myself but they bring me back to hate myself again . My mom wish that other girls were her daughter and say that to me. My dad said that no man will love me my brothers said that too . If my family my own family see my like this how i’m supposed to love me. I have no sisters so I try to make a good relationship with my brothers but they hate me cuz I’m a girl and this there only reason and maybe because I’m ugly I don’t know why but I know that they hate me. I want to disappear from their life but I have no job no money nothing I’m nothing… | 15 |
I’m a Chicago White Sox Fan. | Very very saddening. Constant pain for 15+ years. Y’all don’t k now what it’s like. Doctors always tell me “just be a Cubs fan.” Like that’s gonna make it any better. Sell the team Jerry. | 1 |
Help i cut myself and I wanna stop but cant | Can somebody please help me and comfort me | 4 |
I think I caused somebody's death | I'm considered the guy you can trust and go to when you're sad and need cheering up since I try to make people happy, mainly because ik how it feels.
One of my friends always discuss her problems with me since she has a lot of things going on, last week, she told me about a relationship problem, (and since I never had a partner, ever...) she told me that her boyfriend has been avoiding her for awhile and I thought for a awhile then told her that she probably should find somebody more loyal and would show you love and attention and stuff.
This morning, she texted me saying it's all her fault and stuff, she then showed me photos her boyfriend sent, moments before he took his life, the photos contained cuts on his arms, legs and then pills in his hands, with messages saying you joked with my love and other similar stuff, his last message was saying this will be the last message you'll ever see from me. I tried calming her down, she said she better but ik she not, then, I realized it's my fault because if I would've came up with better advice or even would've told her I couldn't help with this type of issues, he wouldn't have taken his life.
I think everyone is better without me in this world, when I try to help, I make things worse | 6 |
How can I continue | How do I live with myself knowing I destroyed this best thing that ever happened to me. And on top of that it's probably going to destroy my daughter's life to come, and she's not even 2 years old yet. I know I'm young (23) and probably rushed my life with my soon to no longer be wife, but still. She came into my life and showed me what it felt like to be truly loved and wanted, and to feel attractive to someone. When you grow up the way I did, without anybody ever saying they love you or proud of you it's a really good feeling. And what did I do to repay her, I put work ahead for a year and became absent in both as a father and a husband. I pushed her into someone else's arms, and I don't blame her, I became the one thing I said I wouldn't be, my father. Like father like son right. I guess not completely because I am trying to connect with my daughter more. But its so hard to keep on living, before I met her, I was content with being alone and never being in a relationship, and then I met her and we got pregnant then married, and for a time we were the perfect couple, everyone wanted to be us, and then I just decided for whatever reason to just fuck everything up. I know I deserve all of it but still, I can't just end it, but every day I feel like I'm coming closer to it, I'm trying for my baby girl but its so hard. I'll never be able to love again or be able to be happy, and I don't want that to affect my baby girl, so what do I do. | 1 |
i feel like i deserve sadness/pain | idk why i do it to myself but it never feels like i've felt enough pain to feel the ways i do. i feel like i need a new personal tragedy to justify my mood all the time, or what happened before needs to be worse, otherwise i'm faking it
and even when i feel it's "enough", my mind undermines it by trying to convince me that i deserved it
(no advice needed, just need this off my chest) | 6 |
Do you think someone should feel like a shitty person/guilty for self inflicted trauma(for example going into hospital for surgery for a self harm injury/suicide attempt) | It doesn't seem to matter how much I try and practice forgiveness, i still feel really fucking guilty for what I did to myself back when I was 12(late 2011) and how that affected the people who care about me. I know we had other stuff going on that year which was out of my control/that couldnt have been prevented but I feel like me hitting my eye and ending up having to have surgery in hospital was the main reason/icing on the cake in terms of another family member having a nervous/emotional breakdown. Kinda feel like I should probably speak to a therapist about what I did to myself but I think I'm worried that I'll lose control emotionally/crying wise if I actually just talk about stuff without muting things down or downplaying stuff.
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/14w5uxs) | 1 |
I’ve been crying for an hour and a half and can’t stop | I need to vent to someone, even a subreddit because no one else will listen. To avoid having to explain why I’m crying (I don’t want and it’s too much to explain), I have severe depression which makes it hard to cry. I haven’t cried in months and now due to events I don’t have the energy to describe, I’ve been uncontrollably sobbing for the past hour and a half and I can’t stop.
Do you think it might be because I haven’t cried for so many months or is it just that I’m so upset I can’t stop? | 5 |
Love me | When will I have someone love me for me and not for what I can do for them. Is that too much to ask for I mean God! This is why I feel like I don't have a reason to get up in the morning. I don't have a reason to move or live life to the fullest. When will I have someone love me! | 2 |
So much hurt | 😞💔 | 12 |
I'm feeling very sad today and I just want someone to cheer me up and chat with I feel really sad and lonely. |
Hello there I just feel really awful today and I feel like everything is crumbling and I feel like I have no support please can someone cheer me up and help me feel better it would literally mean the world to me thank you all so much. | 2 |
Life is tough | Life is full of ups and downs, when you think you hit rock bottom there is always a deeper whole. A thought came into my mind and made me start crying, I said to my self that when I get to my 50th birthday I would cry my eyes off after knowing I made it and remembering about how many times I thought of killing my self, of me plotting the less painful way to go out… | 4 |
I'm not going to be able to keep going | Its been quite a long time since I've felt the need to do this but I've got no better outlet at this time. I've been struggling on and off for so long now but it feels like I'm climbing a hill that keeps getting taller. I've delt with so much pain in the past and I've grown as a result but it all just keeps getting harder and harder and I can't help but feel that its all going to collapse sooner or later.
I wasted my first year of university doing basically nothing and only got a 2,1 despite how hard I worked. I made one friend and that's only because he lived in my flat and was on my course. That's it. I didn't go to any events or really join any societies, I was sad and angry almost the entire time I was there. If this carries on, I won't get the first I need (luckily the first year doesn't count towards my final grade) and my field is too saturated for me to go anywhere without one. Uni is honestly my idea of hell, its essentially just expectations, both social and academic, non-stop. Seeing other people looking fullfilled and happy only made things worse because I felt like it was all just my fault. I should add here I don't think that life should be easy and I also don't believe that this is anyone's fault but mine, and I'll innevitably keep going but eventually I won't be able to anymore. All I can see for myself in the 2nd year is failure, angry proffessors explaining why I'm terrible, loneliness and disappointment. I will try to make things better but it won't ever be enough, espcially when I don't get a tutor like everyone else and because this year will count for 25%.
I've also had some serious health anxiety over the past year, being so scared I'm going to die out of the blue for no reason and lose everything, which I appreciate means I think deep down I have things to live for and I do, I know that I just know I've got to put in way more than I think I can to achieve any of it. This anxiety wasn't made better by the looming impacts of climate change and the non-negligible threat of an actual nuclear war in the near future, which I think is understandable.
On top of University, I've been learning to drive for 2 years now, failed my first test last summer and I'm trying again now but realistically I won't pass and that'll be even more of my parents money wasted on there useless child who's will to live is deteriorating. Driving is just another thing I'm simply terrible at, like most things people my age are proud of/enjoy doing. I'm awful at everything that's considered fun or impressive and I despise myself for it. I was born a complete loser and a waste of space and I'll probably die that way too. Even my (very lovely) gf makes fun of me for stuff like being slow doing things or not being good at stuff. She'd be better off with someone else anyway. I'll likely lose her after 2 years together in the autumn when she's goes off to medschool, but that's good for her so I can only think its right, in all honesty. I don't want it to happen I just know it will, I'm not a good enough boyfriend to make it work out properly.
In the time I have left with her, I can't even do nice things with/for her because my job only just covers the rent for my house for next year, so I can't spend any money for a long time unless I do a lot of overtime, which it looks like I'll have to. I work 3 days a week, starting at 4am and finishing at 8am at my local supermarket. Its not a bad job but it means I can't do a lot of things with my friends in the evening because I need to go to bed early, which isn't helping my emotions much. I also won't be able to afford any kind of therapy to process any of this due to afformentioned low income (the hourly rate is good but its not enough hours atm). This summer has been too much already for me, which really shows how useless I am when it comes to dealing with change or new things. I haven't done enough studying so far either, which I really need to do so I can get closer to being on the same level as my peers who all seem much more capable than me and I just feel like after all my work over my entire life, and everything I've done, I still can't even call myself good at anything. I just don't know some stuff, and I apparently really need to, but its so hard when there's so much and I don't know where to start.
I've been hitting myself a lot recently, usually when I'm playing video games, which I appreciate is a stupid and childish behaviour but its all I can do to let out the pain I feel when I make stupid mistakes or fail. It gets worse when my friends talk about how much fun they're having in this game or that game and I just look at myself and see nothing worth even mentioning. I'm just not like other people. I've always struggled with having friends and knowing how to keep them and talk to them properly. Everyone looks at me like I'm stupid or I don't understand anything about normal life, and I just don't notice subtext most of the time. Its so hard for me to know how to be sometimes, I just feel alone, y'know.
I owe far too much to too many people and I've got nothing I can give them back, or will be able to give them back for a very long time. A lot of what I've been given isn't things I strictly needed or asked for, in some cases I've directly asked not to be given things or help but here we are and now I've got this weight over me of everything I can't give back but need to. I do like to think I don't take much for granted in life, and I'm very grateful for most of what I have, but that just makes it hurt more when I realise how little I've done with it compared to a lot of people I know who are living life much more than I am. I've always found it hard to take opportunities when I have them because I'll assume I'll just fail anyway and then that'll be more pain and difficulty for me. I've been told by a lot of people that this is a bad outlook, but what's the alternative? Constant disappointment and failure? And that just doesn't seem worth it to me.
Ultimately, the worst parts of me are just staying the same and I'm suffering more and more for it as time goes on. I'm going to lose a great deal more and its a question of how much more I can fail and get angry and hurt myself physically and emotionally before I start properly wanting it all to just stop and that's when I think I'll do something wrong.
I'm sorry. | 1 |
D-Days | I've been practicing how to shoot myself. I'm getting closer and closer to doing it with a live load. I try going through my day not thinking about it but it never works, I don't know what else to do at this point. | 2 |
Lozy all WhatsApp chats | I lost all my WhatsApp chats prior to Feb 2022. And now that I'm starting to forget some of my memories, I'm feeling sad about it. I know that it doesn't seem like a big issue, but I really feel that I've lost a lot of my memories. My first girlfriend, my first tour out of my state, my first motorcycle, chats about these kinds of stuff with some important people in my life. First time I'm feeling this kind of sadness I suppose. And I feel like I lost a part of my brain.
Didn't know what to do, so ranting here :') | 8 |
tw-suicide : What is a painless way to die? | Hey. Im 18, almost 19 years old. I have diagnosed ptsd, borderline personality disorder, adhd, depression and anxiety, addiction issues, all that jazz. I tend to think and fixate and obsess over suicide and thinking about it when i have bpd episodes. I know this feeling is temporary however even when im perfectly fine, suicidiality is always in the back of my mind, it never ever leaves. if i could be dead without having to worry about my grandparents i would. parts of me still have hope, however it seems to diminish everyday, little by little. My mother isnt in my life, and probably will never be, my dad is dead. so i dont have them to live for, no lover, no friends, i have never even been in a relationship. the only people are my loving grandparents which adopted me. The thought of them dying soon drives me crazy and i think about it everyday. They both have health issues and it seems like the ones u love most always dissappear when you least expect it. If i dont die before then, i dont know what i will do when one of them are gone, let alone , two. I have tried ending it in the past, oxy, xanax +alcohol overdose and my movement patterns in my sleep caused me to not choke on my vomit, rather make a fun mess to clean up besides me. It would be difficult to access a gun cause i have no connections and dont have one in the house. i do live near san francisco. i would never hang myself or cut myself to die. too much uncomfort. I need to know a way to do this in case. i know no suicide is painless cause there will always be someone in pain due to it. I want to wait until my grandparents naturally go, but after that my will to live and love will likely be 0 . Im tired of living with my trauma and mental health issues which most of them, will never go away. please help somebody, i truly appreciate anyone who comments on this. i need all the help i can get. :) | 3 |
Let me be clear. | I want you to read this and read very carefully.
You broke me. Whether you wanted to or not, you broke me. A part of me that I cherished and thought you did too. Whatever I had to offer wasn’t good enough to keep you around. So I give up…
This is where the clarification begins. Because I’m not giving up on you. That would be too simple to say and too impossible to achieve. I’m giving up on me. Not me currently, but the version of me that was missing something you sought after.
The me that you had no longer exists, he will never return. He’s been broken for the last time. The me that will emerge from this will better in every way. It’s hard to let go of you and to let go of who I was. There are going to be times I want to quit on my current self. But that’s not something the new me is going to allow.
Hopefully the new me will be what you were looking for all along. And if not, someone will appreciate the hard work I’ve put into bettering myself and I have nobody to thank for that but you.
I hope this works out for you the way it’s going to work for me, truly. | 4 |
The Tinder economy has a higher Gini coefficient than 95.1% of the countries in the world. | https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-guys-unless-you-are-really-hot-you-are-probably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a#.svc6fpdrq | 0 |
My birthday… yay… | So, today is my birthday, and all my friends, and even the closest family forgot.
The only who remembered is the spam mail I get, from various stores.
I’m currently on vacation with my girlfriend, and even she has not yet realized.
I might just go out to a bar tonight alone, and celebrate myself by getting abseloutely hammered.
I hate how forgotten I am. | 11 |
Trauma isn't our always our fault... | This goes out to all of us who have struggled. Do currently struggle or have struggled...
TRAUMA is like being in a catastrophic car accident caused by someone else.
Someone else caused us great harm and injury. We didn't die in the accident even if we wished we had.
Some one else's decision altered and changed the course of our lives forever. We can hate them endlessly.... but our hate only destroys us.
It destroys our healing. WE NEVER ASKED for this... But it was the cards we were dealt.
We are angry. We are beyond sad.
We have two choices on this path we were thrusted down...
One road allows us to be consumed by the pain, depression, hate consume us into a tailspin of pain and suffering. That other driver is not suffering as a result of our pain... only ourselves...
OR...WE FIGHT LIKE FUCKING HELL.... to get out of that bed. To walk again. To heal. To forgive...not for them.. but for us..
We FIGHT for the life that we saw slipping away from us.... but we don't have to lose that DREAM... it might be changed. There will be 100s of falls.... but there is still HOPE. If we believe in that hope.
I've seen people literally deemed paralyzed in an accident walk again.... IF WE BELIEVE IN OURSELVES.... there is nothing we can't do....but its gonna be a battle but it'll be worth it! | 1 |
Just a stranger venting | I loss my mom because my dad killed her and since then I’ve had this empty whole in my life. How do I accept the fact that my own father is a murderer | 3 |
I just need someone to talk with | I am currently feeling extremely upset and sad and could really need someone to talk to, just chat with me.
Could be either about the things bothering me or just something else, doesn't matter! | 5 |
Im just tired | Everyone has someone special while I’m stuck here doing nothing. I feel like nothing. I hate being all alone. I see people getting someone special in their lives while I watch in the distance realizing no one will ever like me back. I will forever be alone and I’m sick of it but then again i feel like I can’t do anything about it. | 7 |
What am I supposed to do | I’ve never really had a relationship or been attracted to someone, and at this point in my life I really have no clue what I’m even supposed to be doing. 19 and living with my parents, but no job whatsoever and no college (yet maybe). Late nights consist of me just imagining committing suicide and how easy it would be, as well as how in about 2 weeks my parents would move on as though nothing changed because realistically nothing did change. It’s not that I’m depressed, or that I have a mental issue, it’s just that I don’t see a reason to continue. I don’t really eat unless I’m told to, I don’t have a job because I don’t want to be stuck in an endless loop of earning 48k a year, paying bills and dealing with shitty people. I know this sounds a lot like I’m just a privileged kid but the only reason I’m even here is because my parents took me to a therapy and the genuine soul that the therapist was finally told my parents that the only reason she was still talking to me was because she wanted money and that I in fact didn’t have any drive to do anything, which is true. I just don’t see a point in living when I look at how humans destroyed the earth and are the only living things that purposefully inflict harm on others for he sole purpose of gain and inflicting that damage. I’m fairly close to just not eating altogether and letting myself slip away, but as a last resort and because I as told to, I want to know if anyone else out there had a similar experience and knows how to get out of it. Thank you for even reading this, if you got this far. | 1 |
It just keeps getting worse. | I don’t want to come on here and sound like a melodramatic loser, especially since there’s people with alot of pain on this sub, but I generally just can’t stomach the idea of having a future. Every day I wake up to an empty bed in the afternoon, go through my monotonous day to day routine, and then fall asleep in the early hours of the morning holding myself. I have some close friends who just saw loneliness as a phase they went through and would surely call me corny for voicing my feelings. I have never been in a relationship, or felt the touch of a woman to that matter. I don’t even know if I could handle a relationship anyways. I feel so distant, and cold. I try interacting with people but always end up defaulting to comedy as I don’t know how to relate to people on any other level. I just feel like I’m trapped. I can’t even muster up the will to cry anymore I just feel devoid of emotions. I’m writing this at 5:56 am. Please help me. I feel so cold. | 5 |
How does it work and what should I do | Ok back on June 5th I started talking to someone it was going really good for about 2 weeks we talked all the time ever day even 13 hours one day
After those 2 weeks it went down hill she slowly stopped talking didn't text as much and started ghosting me I tried talking to her about it and she told me that she just doesn't want to talk sometimes and more bull but she still did it after 1 more week she did it again and I finally gave up on it and I ghosted her
After 3days she texted and asked me how I was doing and I just didn't want to text back after that she never texted or called or anything it's been 8 days since I talked to her and it was soo bad at first I would do nothing but drink all day for 4 days two bottles of v juice
I got sent home from work on the fourth day and I just cried my self to sleep after that day I stopped drinking but my heart hurts bad everyday idk y but she meant more to me than I thought because I still miss her idky | 1 |
so tired of being a fucking clown | im so tired of trying to entertain the people around me. ive never been able to "communicate well", so i always use stupid jokes and antics to befriend others. a shitton of people just think im being an idiot for the sake of it, but im just lonely. | 5 |
Miss the version of my dad who was my best friend as a child |
I’m 27(F) and the shift in the relationship with my parents is wild. My reality shattered after telling my dad I had a girlfriend - he said he had nothing to say to me, and then told me I was brainwashed. I thought I had the coolest, most loving, accepting father and felt a little scared telling him but did not expect that reaction (I was about 17). We were best friends- I was the son my dad never had lol I even made a presentation in school about significant my dad was in my life… My dad was a bit racist and homophobic so I had a lot of internalized homophobia and a perception on the world/people that I didn’t feel was right. So I started speaking up for what I believed in (you know how discovering yourself in your 20s goes), and my dad is a borderline genius- it’s very difficult for me to win debates with him. He was a history major and math major and is super factual and logical. Anywho, we were just rebuilding our relationship this year after not talking for a couple years due to the year 2020 and BLM and all that…. It was great until my grandmother (who has a lot of inheritance) came to visit. I haven’t seen her in a long time because she threatened to take my family’s inheritance if I married a woman and my dad was pissed at me for that one- he said I wasn’t thinking about anyone else in the family- all it is is about the fucking inheritance. Money in this family is toxic asf. So we have lunch, politics are brought up, and i mention that I just don’t vote and man did that spark something big…. My dad and grandma teamed up and we’re trying to push the facts on me about how important voting was - which is specifically what my dad and I DONT talk about anymore because it gets bad. But, since his mother with the inheritance was here, he behaved and continued to harp on me with her. SIDE NOTE: I’m a very sensitive person and may be on the spectrum (I never got tested because fuck that lol) so it’s a challenge for me to regulate my emotions when I’m being teamed up on like that. The energy was weird..
I decided to speak and chime in because I was testing if they learned how to respect others views, lol but nah, if you don’t have theirs views YOURE WRONG. And I hate that I was proven right that my dad actually hadn’t changed. So all in all, I’m constantly battling with the two choices of either - 1. Sucking it up, apologizing, and agree with everything they say so things remain civil or 2. Continue to follow my values in speaking my truth.
I know now that they won’t change, and I’m not wanting to change them- I would just love if they tried to learn from me instead of correct me on everything. Because isn’t that just basic human respect? Why should I back down? My dad is very stubborn and is now getting hit back with it from a daughter he raised to stand up for herself 😂
I’ve been grieving this version of my dad who only existed in my child mind 😞 | 1 |
Are you looking for friends? | If you're feeling lonely and looking for a supportive community of friends look no further. Our community is looking to meet new friends. A 21+ simple, social server based around well-being and creating a positive space for your mental well-being. Mental Health and Support Channels. Active Members and Staff. Gaming and Interest Channels. We're a small community that actually likes to get to know the people who join. If you're interested in joining please feel free! The community is 21+, and LGBTQ+ Friendly and we really hope to see you there! [https://discord.gg/rEc97WzTAQ](https://discord.gg/rEc97WzTAQ) | 1 |
Would you class having to go to hospital for quite intense surgery as a child, as being trauma? (Even if it was as a result of a self harm injury, which is what happened to me) |
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/14v2t0o) | 1 |
Sadness | Guys today i feel very sad and alone i live alone with my mother i have two siblings both lives abroad and they dont talk to me much but they are very good i lost my dad in 2020 due to crona virus after that everything went side ways i dont know what to do with my life i am studying bachelors and i am getting older i am 26 right now and i feel very down today as i dont what my future holds i feel very very sad today i started crying i feel i am faliure and no one likes me some time i think i just want to live in this world anymore as this world is very cruel place nothing happens as you planned i started questioning god why bad things happens to good people i am starting loosing my faith in god. | 1 |
When does the good guy win? | I’ve (27m) been the “good guy” for as long as I’ve lived. I’ve had relationships that didn’t work, and that’s the way life proceeds, but when does it end? Is there ever a success story for us?
How can people just form connections with someone over weeks to months and then just throw it away? No suggesting they’re losing interest, no warning signs, just one day your messages don’t go through and snaps are left on read. Now I’m sitting here wondering yet again where tf did I go wrong.. what is it about me that keeps pushing these people away?
Maybe good guys don’t get a victory story. Everyone says there’s a woman out there who will appreciate the kind of man I am and she just doesn’t seem to exist. How many times do I have to go through getting to know someone and getting comfortable enough with them to open up just for them to leave?
Every time this happens all it does is make me put up another wall making it harder to let someone get to know me, the real me, because I know it’s only a matter of time before they leave too and I’m right back where I started.
Maybe it’s time to give up. Maybe I missed my chance at some point. Maybe I was never meant to have that chance with someone. Sure wish it didn’t feel like I came this close though.. | 13 |
birthday. | today was suppose to be my 16th, and the morning was going great. Me and my family wanted to go out to the mall then a restaurant, but my parents started yelling at me because I was wearing a tail coat. Stupid reason, I know. They yelled at me for a long time and they don't even want to celebrate my birthday anymore. I've been in my room for over 6 hours now and nobody's came to apologize, only to yell more. | 13 |
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