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Is suppressing my emotions good to some extent? In terms of protecting myself from these emotions..
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It's been a month now.
I've gone through a lot in the span of one night
1- I broke up with my bf, I didn't sleep at all
2- I had a VERY IMPORTANT exam that I went to with no sleep at all, I didn't do well (I literally started choosing any answer without even reading the question cause I was so mentally and physically exhausted)
3- gone home from my exam just to re-experience something worse than what I've experienced last year (something related to my family that literally gave me ptsd)
-a little background: last year I also broke up with my ex, then my uncle died, and then my family traumatized me :) they were getting divorced, just for my mom to go back to him after 7 months of separation, that really broke me cuz I want them to divorce. No one really thought about me in that period and I didn't feel seen or heard, and A LOT HAPPENED, so I'm still affected by it and I fell into depression that still affects me until today- and now they're in separation again and they want to get divorced, but my father's actions are so selfish and he's so bad. If I tell you what's on my mind related to my family, I wouldn't stop, so let's skip it :).
So now that I'm actually going through the most painful period and that everything literally happened within a day, I feel like my life has fallen apart, and I'm not allowing myself to cry or to think about it and process it
I'm noticing myself suppressing my emotions
Whenever I start thinking about my family, my ex, how everything I've worked on through this year has gone away in a snap of a moment, how nobody and even the closest ones to me aren't understanding me and aren't even seeing or hearing me or thinking about me and how everything the do or say affects me, etc...
I start tearing up, and then I force myself to stop right away (I usually put on some songs and start dancing even though I don't feel good, but it's just so I dont think about anything) and avoid thinking about it ALL DAY LONG IN ANY WAY POSSIBLE
At this point I don't know if it's healthy or not..
I know I wouldn't handle my feelings and I know I'm too weak to face what I'm going through, but I'm really tired and I don't want to break down
It's reached the point where I actually thought I accepted the things that are going on with me but then I discovered that this is not acceptance, it's me suppressing EVERYTHING just to avoid the breakdown
I feel so lonely.
| 1 |
Mood Disorder
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Hi guys I need some help with mood disorder questions. I believe I have a problem, skipped out on my last psych appt last one I had was 9 years ago. Trying to seek help from other people like you!
| 1 |
Is there something wrong with me?
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I feel like there’s something wrong with me and I feel hopeless. I’ve been on dating sites for about 6-8 months now and nothing. Tried tweaking my bio, photos, took some photos of me doing what I enjoy rather than selfies in front of walls, etc. All of my friends and people I went to school with are settling down, getting married, and then there’s me at 24 still by myself. I was with someone almost 3 years but we broke it off because we wanted different things.
Is there something wrong with me? I feel hopeless and like I’m doing something wrong in my life being single while everyone else is getting married. Should I be feeling like this at 24? Maybe I’m just wasting my time altogether…
| 2 |
Positive Mental
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This week my depression slump has exited the building. Or at least is trying to exit.
My car is clean.
My downstairs is clean.
My kitchen is clean
My dining area is clean.
And I mean CLEAN CLEAN. Like brand new CLEAN.
I feel like myself again.
I also made an appointment for a psychiatrist this fall to get out on meds for anxiety and depression. Because I’ve tried to handle this by myself and I just need help. So I’m getting it!
PROGRESS.
| 3 |
Not sure Seroquil is the right treatment, but it does provide some relief.
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I'm waiting for an appointment with a psychiatrist, but in the mean time my PCP has me on Seroquil.
My mental health issues seem to manifest, the best I can describe, as "road rage", but, in every day situations. Sometimes I feel like I'm just on the edge of anger. Like, my fight or flight is always switched to on, and it's always on fight.
I feel relief from Seroquil, just after my dose is increased, but it slowly returns, until I have another appointment, then they increase it a little again.
The last doctor I saw said base line dosage is 200mg, and she's trying to slowly move me up to that.
But, I have some concerns, because I have issues falling asleep now, if I don't decide to take the medicine. I also worry that they will just keep moving me up dosage, as a solution to a different problem.
Some of my friends were talking about someone else, not knowing that I'm also on Seroquil, and they were talking about how they were very obviously needing it.
I never had any issues, besides this "road rage" feeling I occasionally have. I admit, it feels very out of my control, after an incident I have to apologize for my behavior, but during it, I feel 100% justified and "normal", but then reflect on it, and seem to have "blanked out" during it.
In 2020 I had a pretty bad break down, and had a recognizable manic episode, but had never done anything like that before. But, now I know that's in me, and it worries me. But, I also don't feel like I have all the symptoms that Seroquil treats.
I'm just wondering if anyone can relate to this anger I have, and might be able to give me insight into if perhaps I am on the right medication, and I just don't understand something, about it or myself.
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I am just so tired and fed up
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I have a friend who had an issue with his medications and is covering from a manic episode. During this two week ordeal he calls me everyday usually a couple times a day. He gets upset that I talk to him when he calls me or reaches out to me and he gets over stimulated. He goes off on weird tangents and I can't follow what he's trying to say. He keeps reiterating how smart he is and how people keep thinking he's an idiot. He wants to sue the doctors that have worked with him. And if I ask questions or push back at all he can be become belligerent and rude.
This and many more things have made me just so tired and fed up with his b*******.
I understand it's not his fault he is this way. I understand that his medications are messed up and he is in recovery.
But I am not a crisis counselor. I am not a medical professional. I am not a legal professional. Moreover I am not a punching bag which I feel sometimes things devolve to that.
I am just about this close to blocking him in all ways he has to contact me.
I myself and my family man and have a wife and child to look after. Full-time job and other hobbies and interests. I really just do not have time or desire to even bother with this anymore.
| 1 |
I feel more suicidal again
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I just saw a post that encourages people to make a bad choice because quote on quote you only live once. I also saw a post yesterday that featured one life in a hash tag and that post was about a spontaneous adventure with a friend and in general there have been numerous posts about hurrying up and booking trips for traveling to quote on quote live life to the fullest. These people don't understand that everyone is not able to automatically do that or even do that at all and they don't realize that I'm suicidal and so are others. They don't realize that I'm easily triggered to feel suicidal and so are others but they continuously promote killer cliches unconsciously. Just when I try to start to feel better I come across more fuel for my suicidal thoughts.
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Do i have adhd or am I just lying to myself?
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Hi, I am actually desperate. Desperate to the point that I´ve downloaded reddit.
First of all, I want to apologize to whoever is reading this because English is not my first language, so I might be lacking in some kind of way. Secondly, I want to ask for your advice.
I am 19 years old and I´ve recieved both psychological and psychiatric treatment since I was 12 years old. Neither of them have worked. I've been diagnosed with a bunch of things: borderline personality disorder, anxiety, depression, schizoaffective disorder, etc. However, recently and as I become older, reality and adulthood have hit me hard. I've come to realize that a lot of the symptoms relate to what women with ADHD struggle with. Anxiety, depression, lack of interest, emotional codependency, impulsive behavior, sexual irresponsability, etc. My lack of concentration is ruining my life, I constantly lose and forget important things. I don't have anything I am proud of. I study in a highly competitive public university and lately things have gotten out of my hand. I feel like a waste of potential.
This is why I ask you what do you consider to be one of the main differences between ADHD and lazinnes or borderline personality disorder?
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I'm 23, I'm still in college and my dad is paying for everything. I want to be more independent, but idk how.
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I'm 23(f) and I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and ADHD like two years ago. I'm currently taking meds for ADHD and my dad is the one paying for everything: meds, appointments, college, etc.
As a 23 year old adult I feel very bad for still getting so much money from my dad and I want to become independent or start slowly so I can save some money and start my life, but I have never had a job and the only thing I can do is art commissions, I can't work in fast food places or customer service jobs cause I have no experience, I get overwhelmed easily and I also have PPMD which makes me have very weird and extreme mood swings every month, I'm getting desperate cause I don't know what to do or how to start. With every year that passes I feel I become more frustrated at the fact that I don't have a job and I'm pretty much a useless adult. What can I do?
| 1 |
How to stop venting?
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I’ve realized that I have a problem with venting to people both when they’ve offered to listen to me talk about my problems and when they haven’t. I’ve been trying to stop altogether for a while now but I can’t seem to prevent myself from occasionally letting things out when I feel comfortable/vulnerable. I was on a good month long streak of not letting anything out (at least while sober), but I ended up failing today and I want to make that the last time it happens. Is there anything I can try to do to keep it from happening other than just sort of biting my tongue per se? Any help is appreciated, also don’t tell me to just let myself vent.
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Toddler scared of sleeping due to ‘wasting time’?
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(I am not a parent, i was the toddler in question)
So like, it’s basically always been a thing in my life where i really really didn’t want to sleep, because in the time i’d be asleep, time would pass. Okay that’s a bad explanation, but like- I could do so much in that time, and i could miss out on things, and when i wake up tomorrow will have come, which to me isn’t particularly positive most days (but i’m not here to talk about that)
Well basically i complained about this to my mother (i’m a teenager for context) and she said i’ve always been like that, since i was two or three, for the same reasons? Like i’d throw a tantrum if i was put to bed, or told it was nap time, and if i accidentally fell asleep (which i always did) i would scream and cry because i missed out on so much time. Like, this is more out of curiosity that anything, but it that like- normal? I tried googling it with no results, so my next thought was to ask here.
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Absolutely shit scared of death.
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I’m 23 and lost a few friends and family in tragic circumstances in recent years. I’m petrified of losing my parents and my pet and my partner and it keeps me awake at night. To the point where I now sleep with the light and tv on because I don’t want to be alone with the thoughts. I’m on antidepressants and starting cbt but I just feel so alone in these feelings and like I can’t express them to people I know cos it’s silly because it’s inevitable.
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Lobotomies still done?
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Are they still done? And can you volunteer?
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I keep getting humiliated during my first year in college. Now I'm dreading the second year.
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I'm currently 19F and taking a pre-med course for college. I have nearly 50 classmates and, in my first year of college, I've been humiliated multiple times on different occasions and I feel like my classmates think I'm a failure. One of the worst things that happened was when a classmate accused me of cheating on an exam and reported me to our professor with no evidence at all, just by saying I did even if I didn't. I have no idea why this person would do this to me, especially since I've never had any interactions with this person at all during class or even outside of college. One day during class this professor asks me to step outside in the middle of a lecture given by a different professor to discuss how I would resolve the cheating issue (he gave me two choices: write an essay or get reported and eventually expelled. i didn't have any opportunity to defend myself at all). The whole class goes silent, and I immediately feel ashamed and I had to force myself to go outside the classroom. Then, this issue of me cheating on an exam spread throughout the class, and I have been told by close friends that some of my classmates don't see me the same way anymore nor think I'm a trustworthy person. I still feel like shit even if I was able to clear my name and get a 100% grade in that subject.
All the other times I was humiliated weren't anything major, but I still feel the same embarrassment and shame every day. I got (loudly) called out by a teacher when I left a beaker in the hot plate for too long to tend to my other group mates, a different teacher made a snarky remark in the middle of a lecture when I sat on a stool too loudly, and there was a time my classmate/ friend (jokingly??) yelled at my face in class because I was confused about the seating arrangement for a hands-on task. During all of the times I felt humiliated, I can always feel my classmates staring at me. I can only imagine the things they whispered to each other about me, and I hate thinking about what they think of me. I wish I didn't fuck things up so much so often. I know I shouldn't care this much about what people think, but I can't help it. I went into college hopeful and excited, but now I have to live my life thinking I'm the class failure, and I'll never be seen as someone who's capable of doing anything. Now my second year of college is nearing and I'm still with the same classmates and I'm dreading going to class so much that I want to either kill myself or drop out of college. I cry every night wishing I was just a normal student like everybody else. I prefer to be boring and ignored than to be constantly humiliated.
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Is it okay to just give up and stop caring
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I'm a little spoilt as I live at home and live by administrating my father's pension and helping, my grandmother pay bills, so I don't need to do much.
I used to study and have a lot of hobbies I tried, but now I just don't want anything, I can stay in bed for 80% of the day save for minor chores and errands.
Everyone around me is so sunny and happy and expecting better things for me and my sibling, especially if I manage to get my passport.
But a part of me wants to quit, get the passport obviously, but just not do anything and give up.
Have I reached some form of enlightenment or is something wrong with me? I do nothing yet I can't seem to feel bored.
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Do I really have anxiety disorder - or what's wrong with me?
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TL;DR: Every evening I experience waves of horrific feelings and I don't know what it is.
Background: In my teenage years I suffered from heavy panic attacks (fear of dying, heart racing, short breathing) etc. I have managed to cope with them with therapy.
However in these days my symptoms are completely different. Almost every evening, I get weird feelings of impeding doom and a feeling I will go crazy paired with compulsive thoughts about what's wrong with me and "waves" of depressive feelings. During such attacks I'm 100% convinced I will never feel normal again. I don't even know how to describe it. When someone talks to me it gets worse because I try to hide it and act as "normal" as possible. Sometimes it gets so bad I need to cry.
The purely physical symptoms are rather mild, a slight tight feeling in the chest and tingling extremities.
I also get racing thoughts, I can't think "clearly" like I'm in a tunnel. These attacks can last for hours. Once I start "fresh" into a new day, I can think clearly again and for the first few hours im feeling quite good until the attack waves hit back in the evening.
My doctor said it's Generalized Anxiety Disorder paired with depression. However, after googling (yeah I know, not good) the symptoms I experience are different. I don't worry about specific events or problems. Every time im experiencing such an attack im 100% convinced it's not anxiety. Don't know man.
ICD 10 says GAD requires "A period of at least six months with prominent tension, worry and feelings of apprehension, about every-day events and problems". But I don't worry about everyday problems?
I was prescribed with Mirtazapin 10mg/day which helped my sleep problems a ton but did not erase the attacks described. I even took a 1mg pill of lorazepam and it took more than one hour that I felt normal again, so im even more convinced it's not anxiety but something "super rare horror psychic disease". How is this possible?
Don't know if someone can relate. Anyway thanks for reading.
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Model Obsession
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Hi, I am a twenty-three year old male. I have been suicidal for the last ten years for an extremely first-world problem, and I don’t know what to do. The reason I want to commit suicide is because I am I angered by my body image. Everything else in my life is great. I just graduated college without any debt and I’m about to start my career life.
I have always kinda wanted to be a model, but it can’t happen. I have proven myself to be a competent researcher and I can say with certainty that I am no where close to model material.
I have been obsessed with this photographer “Illumitati”. I have been viewing her Snapchat story “Illumitati + friends” for about a year now. It centers on her life as a photographer and being a model herself. I want to be photographed by her. I want to live her life.
I don’t even know if I am comfortable calling myself cishet anymore. I’m so confused.
Illumitati dropped out of college to live an artistic bohemian lifestyle because her parents socio-economic status allowed it. She is also extremely gifted and talented, I do not want to discredit her creativity at all.
I am starting a 9-5 job soon that requires me to wear a suit and tie. I know that my life is extremely lucky. I know that the lives of others can be hellish. I have been in close proximity to some of the twisted horrors of reality (incest/rape).
I don’t feel worthy enough to be associated with her. I don’t feel hot enough to be a male model. I don’t want to live a 9-5 life until I am sixty years old.
Can someone please give me words of encouragement? Also, please don’t mention that I should stop following Illumitati - she is literally my most favorite influencer. Her opinions on media culture are as valuable as gold.
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Tips to deal with apathy, and to manage free time
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I'm not a very active person. When I'm busy with studies or work, I tend to procrastinate A LOT, but I always manage to do everything I have to do, and I usually do it with excellence.
However, it's hard for me to manage my free time. I usually do all the things I want to do while delaying what I need to do (I've watched a lot of series like that). While I'm busy, I have a million ideas about what I should do during my free time. And when I finally have time for myself, all I do is... nothing. No matter how much I sleep, I have no energy to do anything, I can't have any idea of interesting stuff to do, and I don't feel like doing any of the things I planned. I could literally stay in my bed all day long. It feels like without a clear goal or a deadline, I can't accomplish a thing.
For example, I like to build things in minecraft. But I feel like that if I have to create something from scratch, it always comes out awful. My best works were attempts to recreate fictional places, like a house or a castle. Maybe because I had a clear goal in mind (?). But I rarely finish them. Most of the projects I start by myself are never finished. Maybe because I don't have a deadline. It's like I have to be threathened by something to be able to do anything.
I'd really appreciate tips to better manage my free time, and also tips to get rid of this torturing apathy. I can't stand having no energy or the will to do a single thing.
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Social media attacks against family
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My family member (f37) has a history of mental health issues - my family had history of bipolar and depression to be more specific. We can confirm she has been prescribed medication for these issues, but we cannot confirm exactly what else might be going on. A family counselor has advised that her behavior is on par to be bipolar, maybe schizophrenia, with a TON of manipulative tendencies. She is 100% funded by her parents living in another city.
Over the recent months she started posted tons of videos of herself on social media with some nudity, language, and most of all blatant lies about people and her past. This all started around the time that her parents started reducing her allowance.
Most recently she started posting stories filled with completely made up stories about me, my family members, and close family members that have careers in healthcare and other fields. Her parents won’t do anything at all, other than reducing her allowance. Our entire family and friend group are at a loss for what to do next. We completely understand there are mental health considerations at play, but we are continually at a loss for how to handle this situation, support our family, but also set boundaries in the process - it’s been an exhausting several months and years at this point as this has been a cycle going on for years when she doesn’t get her way. It’s the first time she’s done something like this directly against family and friends and in a public way. At this point, we have no idea what she’s capable of and are worried for her safety. Any advice on what to do to protect her and family?
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I wish I ended it two years ago
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Like the title say, I wish I ended it two years ago. I did have plans for it, but got better, but now I regret I didn’t do it.
Right before the summer, I *really* thought I was doing better, but everything is in ruins for me. All because I couldn’t get myself a summerjob. *A summerjob*. My whole mental state has been in ruins after that.
I know it sounds dumb, but this was *very important to me*. After watching all of my siblings making a name and lives for themselves, I though it was finally my turn. But no, what am I going instead? Nothing. I’m just rotting in my room day in and day out.
It feels like the world is moving on without me and I feel incredibly jealous of everyone around me, especially my friends and siblings.
I don’t want pity, even if it sounds like it, I just want to know if anyone here is in the same situation as me. I want to listen to your story too.
| 2 |
Seeking Advice: Wife's Mental Health Impacting Our Family
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Hey Reddit, I need some advice. My wife has been struggling with mental health issues for a while now. She deals with health anxiety, general anxiety, and has intense reactions when triggered. It's taking a toll on our family, especially since we recently had a son.
Her family and extended family are concerned and have approached me about her mental health. I've started seeing a counselor myself because her condition is affecting both me and our young son. Based on what I've shared, my counselor believes she should seek professional help.
I'm really worried about the long-term impact her mental health will have on our son. While I can't force her to go to therapy, I don't know how to encourage her to seek help. She's distanced herself from many friends, and the ones she's still in touch with don't challenge her.
Any advice on how to handle this delicate situation would be greatly appreciated.
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Weird feelings, can someone help?
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For quite some time (I cannot remember how long), I’ve been randomly getting this feeling that is very hard to explain. It feels like nothing is real, I feel like I’ve died a long time ago and that the moment I’m in is just a dream. It feels like, watching a very blurry movie almost? I swear my vision changes at these moments. I also feel like I’m stuck, in my body, in my mind, in my life? I don’t know if this makes sense but it’s a very claustrophobic feeling, I feel short of breath, like I’m choking almost. I sort of panic I guess sometimes because of the feeling of being stuck. But even after that panic goes away, the feeling of nothing being real stays. It can happen randomly, or something triggers it I don’t know. Do any of you go through this? What is it and why does it happen?
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False friends
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I had these 3 friends (2 online that I’ve known for a while and one I’ve known for year both in real and online life) and 2 of them kept telling me to kill myself. I finally owned up and told them how I am a suicide survivor and all they did was laugh and called me a coward. He said in quote “don’t take this the wrong way but anyone that attempts to kills themselves are cowards” he even called me weak for not fully going through with it. Makes it worse a friend Ive know for years cared more about him winning in a damn game than how I was feeling. I started having a panic attack. All 3 ditched me and went to go play with each other. I can’t believe I ever cared about them. It makes me question if they’re right.
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How do you talk to your therapist about the hard stuff?
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I've always been one to keep the real hard stuff inside. I can word vomit on anyone after just a few minutes of knowing them but it's always the simple stuff like lines in the grocery store being too long or the weather being crappy. When it comes to talking about suicidal thoughts it stays in my head. Heck I can't even tell my husband I've thought about it everyday for the past month.
I've been seeing my new therapist for the past couple months and we have really gotten to the nitty gritty. It's always ramblings about stupid stuff going on in my life. I finally got my appointments straightened out so I'll be seeing her every Wednesday at 9am(which is way too early in my opinion but that's what she had open regularly every week). Unfortunately that does start until the 18th.
I just want to be able to express myself openly. I feel like I need to scream at the top of my lungs "I want to end it!!" But it's not coming out during the sessions. I need help. I know I do. My life is shit. I'm on autopilot everyday while my head is spinning with thoughts of how I can end my subscription to life! I don't feel safe with myself alone anymore. I'm drowning in looking up everything I can about bpd. My thoughts are racing and I feel like I'm obsessed.
Even now as I lay in bed I can't fall asleep due to the craziness in my head. Half the time it doesn't even seem real. Like I'm not me. I'm just patiently waiting for the depressive voices to start.
Yes I can go about my day looking like I'm not dying inside but it's non stop. My insurance won't cover my meds for another week. My moods are crazy. I had to walk away from my kids today because I could tell I was gonna split on them for not picking up after themselves and making me be their personal maid(they are old enough to throw away a freeze pop wrapper themselves 6,8,and 10 years old)
Sorry for the rant:(
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Making friends?
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How in the world am I supposed to make friends. My psychiatrist says I need to make friends. The only people I talk to is husband, kids, MIL, step FIL, husband's aunt, and his cousin. No one on my side of my family. No other people... unless I count my therapist and psychiatrist.... Anyways he says I need friends. How? I'm 28 with no hobbies, no extra money for any fun activities/classes, and no time to spend away from home/kids. I need to make some kind I progress in my friend search to prove to him I'm not lazy like I feel he thinks I am.
| 1 |
Vraylar for bipolar -
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Anyone else have hyper realistic, vivid dreams that make you feel sick to your stomach on Vraylar?
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HTNGAF about person that hurt me the most?
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Bad terms breakup
Hi, just want to say that it's hard for me to post it but i guess i will try (sorry if chaotic)
Long story short:
We met when she was depressed and i helped her
Then I hit my all time lows and she didn't know/wanted how to help me
I had anger issues when i felt hurt by her i prefered blocking for 10-15 minutes not to type something bad in anger
She was awfully jealous of me
She went with 2 male guys for a trip abroad ( if she waited few days I could've went with them)
I got really mad and talked to her badly, felt like she cheated on me, she was crying and begging and i felt like dog shit.
She started giving out her IG to Italians in the bars
She came back told me it was over for her because of what i've said and we have to give each other some space but she still loves me- she said that its just a pause for collecting toughts and we will be together again
Then she told me that she is to scared to do it again and we should meet
We met and we had a serious conversation 1st time in a long time. She proposed a deal that we still see each other but she wants to meet new people ( i agreed)
We ended in bed and we had new ,,deal'' we give each other space but no other people involved and we try to fix it
next day she tells me how she is scared and can't i started begging
Her mother attacked me via text and i attacked her back
She raged at me and i said that i hate her for what she did to me
She blocked me everywhere and posts weird stuff showing how good it is without me and songs like ,, Nothing hurts more than love'' ,,Everytime You will try to forget who am I i will be there to remind you again'' and she just has a weird vibe right now, only drinking with other people and stuff
HTNGAF about Woman who stabbed me in every scar that i had in my life and she knew about it? (Fear of being replaced and fear of loneliness, bed performance insecurities and other stuff?
| 1 |
mental health is interresting
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i feel very interrested in that, but i think i'm just a big fan of knowing things, like, a lot else
| 1 |
How to suss out what you really have?
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I’m just wondering what I really have as far as mental illnesses go.
I’ve been diagnosed with autism and ADHD, bipolar II, unspecified mood disorder, borderline personality disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder, panic disorder, OCD, and I think agoraphobia but that was from my PCM so I’m unsure how accurate that last one was. Each psychiatrist has said something different. And there’s so much overlap I relate to all of these, although some not 100%.
Anyone in the same boat? When Drs ask me what I have should I give them this list? How do I know for sure what I have if every doctor says something different? Especially most of these are treated differently.
| 1 |
Hypomania or am I normal?
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I’ve been trying focalin and klonopin separately for awhile. On their own, focalin helps with my adhd, and klonopin works really well for me personally.
However, I took them both at the same time today and I feel great. I’ve never experienced mania from stimulants, so this is odd. I’m unsure if I’m really happy and confident and relaxed (which is almost a never for me since I started trileptal and abilify) wondering if anyone else has any experience with this? It only started after I took the meds and I just feel confident (haven’t felt confident in a long time due to my anxiety and depression)
My current meds
Trileptal
Abilify
Buspirone
Have never seemed to help, so I’m wondering if I was just on the wrong combination of meds.
(My diagnoses are autism, adhd, bipolar, borderline, OCD, GAD, panic disorder, unspecified mood disorder, and MDD. Unsure what I truly have as everywhere I go I get a different diagnosis so perhaps I’m on the wrong subreddit)
Btw this is all prescribed
| 1 |
I don’t know but I feel like I might have a mood disorder that has been undiagnosed for more than 15 years.
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Hello, hope you all are doing well. My name is Obinna, and I reside in Nigeria. I am a 33-year-old fellow. For the past month, I have been having low energy, difficulty concentrating, and finding it hard to remember things. The trigger (in my opinion) was the registration for my GRE exam since I want to enroll in a data science master's program next year in the US. I started noticing these symptoms the exact day after the registration. This is confusing because I have been studying for my GRE for months. I have been doing great on my practice tests and it was the confidence that moved me to register for the actual exam. Therefore, I don’t understand why I am exactly feeling lethargic and all. It is weird because for the previous 3-4 months before the onset of the lethargy, I have had a normal or even better mood. I was treated for depression during my undergraduate days, and I actually had to leave medical school because the various mood episodes interfered with my studies. I remember having the same motley of symptoms during the last 4-6 weeks leading up to my second-year medical school exams. It was surprising when my former classmates heard that I was leaving medical school because up until that period, I had been doing well with my studies. I never failed an exam and was even doing great in anatomy. I changed to economics and finished from it but even while in school, I still noticed that I had periods of high and low moods. I finished with a good grade though I feel that I would have done better if I wasn’t having these episodes. I just feel compelled to ask other people for their opinions because sometimes I wonder if I would have done far better in life had my situation been taken a closer look at. I am ok at where I am career-wise and financially, but I feel like I am destined for greater things. Nigeria and Africa as a whole, are not big on mental health. I remember when I was in medical school and told my parents that I was depressed, my dad didn’t believe there was anything like depression. He was like why would you be depressed when you have all your needs taken care of? My mother was a bit more understanding because she once had post-partum depression but still, it was not like the mental health thing was taken seriously. I also feel like the periodic episodes later led to some other health issues. I also suffered and currently suffer from anxiety. I have been on anti-hypertensives for 5 years now and do take medication for chronic back pain. I analyze data for a living, hence the reason I want to do the master’s program, but I feel like these periodic episodes are not allowing me to achieve greater things. Any ideas? I want to look for a psychiatrist over here within the next few weeks, but I am not exactly hopeful that they will be helpful. Doctors most times over here dismiss things like this out of hand.
| 1 |
Anxiety, isolation, rumination, just a downward spiral.
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So my anxiety is constantly off high, to the point I don’t leave the apartment much.
It has a roof deck and I have been out twice for less than a half hour total.
I’m barely going outside the building itself either, I was supposed to see family for the 4th but that got canceled.
I posted a long rant and some people were like are you okay? But I have also sent long ranting emails to former employers who are my references that say I’m okay and blather on about something not remotely related.
I have been going off on rants a lot. I also haven’t been interacting with anyone, practically, off Reddit, not by email, text or phone.
Most people I knew moved. Friendship and dating has been hard to impossible with anxiety, but I’m barely doing anything either. Not watching tv, nor reading, nor getting around to things, haven’t eaten today, I forget.
Dunno it’s just a lot of deleted comments that were ranting on my part but some of the replies were concerned.
That’s why I mentioned the unhinged emails to prior supervisors on top of everything else.
I have my young adult cat though. He will always be a kitten to me. I got him bc I was depressed and he’s helped but I find myself with more separation anxiety from him.
I’m not sure how to work on it.
| 1 |
Is it stress?
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Hello everyone! I’m 17 years old and about a month ago I experienced something that sounds like a lie but isn’t. My mom is pretty strict with guys and she’s pretty controlling. I’d like to get specific but it’s a very long and complicated story that I might share next time. Anyways, while visiting us, my mom asked for my phone password while I was in the shower and I panicked. I don’t even know why honestly it’s not like there was anything too bad except for me messaging guys not only guys ofc but obviously at the time I thought that thats all she’s gonna pay attention to and I have tried flirting back and forth with like 3 people there so that made me even more worried. Anyways, I tried to say no but she got more and more angry and I was super panicking inside the bathroom and at one point I was just like “fuck it” and I was gonna give my password but when I thought about what it was my mind just went blank for a while and then she yelled a little and I suddenly remembered and gave it to her. It was incorrect so I told her to try and try again until my phone got locked for 30 minutes and she was really pissed. I’m fully convinced I gave her my correct password because I just opened my phone a few minutes before taking a shower and my mom doesn’t believe that I gave her the correct password. A few days go by and I try and try the same combination and a few potential password combinations until I get locked out of my phone.
Context: My mom doesn’t live with us and she was only home to attend my graduation and to go with me to another country to see her new family. She also used to do the phone check at random times before and although have nothing to hide this stresses me out so much
(Don’t hate on my mom she had a pretty valid reason for why she wanted to use my phone but she just didn’t say it when asking for my phone password so I assumed she was gonna snoop)
| 3 |
Why is it so hard to be kind to yourself? Why do I struggle to realise when i do it unconsciously?
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Does anyone else have this issue? I have seen a therapists on this, but all they was to 'just stop being hard on yourself' like it is a simple thing I can just switch off. I have tried mindfulness and breathing exercises but my thoughts just became louder and I often felt worse afterwards
It's like I need to have constant reminders to make sure I speak positive things about myself and make sure I believe it rather than doing it out of obligation
| 1 |
Why does nothing feel exciting anymore?
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Whenever I watch a TV show that I really loved I don't feel that same euphoria as I did as a child. Everything feels so Sameish and dull. I dont get that happy spark anymore. What's the problem?
| 1 |
Help, help needed😏
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How do I socially isolate myself so I can kill myself and not hurt my loved ones
| 1 |
Desiring a relationship with a virgin as a virgin myself
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This isn't as criticaI as some other things aorund here but I'm kinda lost. I have read different stories of virgins in their mid-twenties and their struggles, but I wasn't able to find much that relates to my main problem, so I'm gonna try here.
As you can guess by the title, I am a virgin, never had a relationship, never kissed anyone and there is likely nothing new I can tell you that you're not already imagining about how I ended up here. It's the usual suspects like being introverted, socially anxious, low self-esteem coupled with dissatisfaction with my body/appearance and so on. I minimized going outside and spent most of my time online, playing video games and talking to others.
With growing age my social anxiety started to drop. I still wasn't going outside voluntarily, but If I had to, it kinda worked out. I was less worried about what others thought of me, although I still do to a greater extent. It's not perfect yet, but I'm getting there and just recently I've read a book about social anxiety, which prompted me to plan meeting some online friends I've been too anxious to meet. I also decided to start working out and can only hope I won't be dropping it some time later like I always did.
Now to the actual problem: While I am trying to change and fight my anxiety as well as build up my self-esteem, I've long had this destructive feeling that creeps up from within whenever I think about a woman I might fall in love with and know that she isn't a virgin anymore (actually a real situation right now). It not only makes me depressed, it also pushes me away and effectively ruins my chances (if I had any to begin with). As for the reason, a smaller part of it is anxiety about being compared to prior experiences and not fulfilling some kind of standard they might have come to develop. But I know this is tightly linked to my self-esteem which I can work on and that having an understanding partner will help a lot.
The much bigger part is me feeling like I am just the second, third guy or even one of many. You see, in my mind having sex is basically the highest form of showing intimacy and trust. Logically I know this idea is heavily distorted due to my past, including my problems and lack of experience. I am attributing too much value to something superficial. I know that if a woman chooses to start a relationship with me and trust me enough to be intimate, in that very moment, I am special to her. Obviously everyone is different, but then again if someone has no problem jumping from bed to bed, I know we wouldn't be compatible in the first place. Although it doesn't help my idea either if a person has a hard time opening up but learning that they already did so before. "They already went there with someone else, so what makes me special?"
I know that as years go by, this perspective will only hurt more and more. The chances of finding a virgin that also matches with me on different levels keep getting slimmer and judging others by such a criteria isn't fair to them. I wish I could just abandon this stupid idea to open up all the new paths potentially waiting for me, but fighting feelings with my mind wasn't very fruitful so far.
Any advice or perspective is welcome, thank you.
| 2 |
How do you get rid of social anxiety
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Is there any philosophy or method to quickly get rid of social anxiety completely? I am going into high school and I don’t want to be on SSRIs or miss out on anything that normal teenagers do.
| 22 |
Motivation
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Today is the first good day in like a week it feels like.
I’m being productive, im motivated.
I’m going to be proud of myself by the end of the day for doing what I did and it’s what’s keeping me going as of right now
| 1 |
Dual Diagnosed is No Surprise with High Adverse Childhood Experiences
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I know Mental Health Awareness Month Just got REAL with r/mentalhealth, first if you don't mind ill thank you off the start for making this reddit 😀 it will make respect, research more available to possibly help the future!
Children are our future.
THINK if there was that Magic Genie that could do one wish by 1) removing A.C.E or 2) take Mental Health Diagnoses away
[Is it attacking the same thing?]
| 1 |
I feel suicidal again
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A post on social media features a message that I'm going to die tomorrow because only today is promised and now I'm feeling suicidal because I need to kill myself before it happens without my permission. I have been trying to not be suicidal and be happy but as always right on que I get triggered because people just can't resist the urge to kill me with these killer cliches.
| 1 |
My relationship and mental health
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My relationship and mental health
I (18m) have been dating a girl (17f) for 5 months rn,i love her alot i always have, she's all I got and need,our relationship was smoothh without any arguments but since a while we've been arguing alot and i know it's because of my mental health.i feel depressed all the time with literally no will to continue, because of my trauma, family problems, financial problems and I'm a recovering drug addict.i don't make her happy anymore she's tried so much but i always end up failing.i love her more than anything and i try my best yet i keep hurting that precious girl.She thinks that ii don't love her anymore when I'm just so grateful that she's miine and love her more than anything.i feel failed as a boyfriend/partner.shes a really really sweet girl.shes done alot for me and i know she loves me alot but i feel like she's tired of all this and it's killing me:( bc i need her I want her and i love her so much,idk what to do i keep getting anxious and hate myself
| 1 |
Recovering from abuse
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(this is my second account)
Me (Gay M23) and ex friend (M23)
I was psychologically abused by him for sexual favours over a span of 2 or 3 years and I recently got out of it (it's a long story to long to put all here)
So I've been struggling hard I feel so alone and isolated I've tried reaching out to friends but they seem to busy, unable to help or uncomfortable to talk. And its just been all around hard I've tried calling LGBT help lines but I just break down and can't talk. I can't play video games anymore (me and him use to play together) and I can enjoy my own company anymore.
Life just hurts and I don't see how I can get out of this hole. I'm non suicidal I'm just overwhelmed and struggling.
Is there anyone that has been in a similar situation and got out of it and can give me some advice. And I'm in Australia if that helps
| 3 |
I feel like I'm stuck and that I'm never going to go anywhere, but I know I can't give up. I just don't know how to go forward.
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I rarely use reddit so I'm not sure if I need to add a trigger warning to this post, but just in case, I mention SH, EDs, suicide.
This is mostly a vent but if anyone sees this and has any advice/words of wisdom, I'm all ears.
I've been in and out of therapy for a few years now, but whenever I find a therapist I think is helping, something goes wrong. Either I feel they don't understand be on a level enough where I feel completely comfortable enough to open up (ex: I'm queer in a very conservative county), they change locations, switch to telehealth, which I've tried but I don't feel secure/comfortable doing for a variety of reasons, or something else. But anyways I keep starting with a new therapist, feeling really good about my progress for a few weeks, and then feeling like they aren't helping anymore, so I stop and start the cycle again.
I've done this so much and I've never been with a therapist long enough to really dive into some of the deeper issues I know I need to work through. Maybe because I only talk about surface level problems for the beginning of our time that they don't know I have other stuff to unpack, and then I feel like I don't need help because if I can spend so much time ignoring my 'problems' when I HAVE the chance to face them, then they aren't actually that bad?
I know I need help though. I have amazing friends that support me whenever I talk about my issues, but I don't think I've ever been 100% honest about how bad things are for me. If I can't be honest with the people who have been by my side when some of the most traumatic things in my life were going down, how can I open up to a stranger? My friends know I've dealt with self harm and eating disorders, but I haven't been completely honest when things get bad again. I hide it because I don't want them to worry when we're all going through shit. But I've never opened up to a therapist about that stuff for fear of being admitted to inpatient. I'm sure inpatient is great for some, but I highly doubt it would help in my situation. I am 18, so I don't think I can be committed since I'm not actively suicidal, although I do passively think about it, I don't have any plans to kill myself. I want to live so badly. I want to stop being miserable.
Recently I've started to wonder if I may have some more shit than I realize. I've been diagnosed with anxiety and ADHD. I also most definitely have depression, but I lied during my diagnosis session thing because they were going to give me SSRIs for my anxiety anyway, there's no point in me adding on that I'm depressed too and worrying my mom if they would be giving me the same meds anyway (This happened well before I was 18). I think I may have OCD or autism too, but I don't want to self diagnose.
But anyways, I just feel stuck. Stuck in my bumfuck nowhere hometown. Stuck in my career. Stuck without an education (I dropped out of community college for mental health). Stuck in my relationships with family members. Stuck in the deep end of my terrible mental health.
Thank you for reading. I'm hoping that I can get the courage to try again and be completely honest about my issues, its just fucking hard. I also hope no one I know finds this post but if they do I guess it is what it is.
| 1 |
compulsive urge to copy current time as url on youtube video, why do i have it
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im not joking but in all of 2023 almost every video that i watched on youtube i copied link 1 or more times, if i dont i have a really big urge to, why is this?
​
i have not heard of anyone else like this online..
​
| 1 |
Panic, tapered off of SSRI - withdrawal or permanent symptoms?
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I'll try to summarize. I SO appreciate anyone who takes the time to read/offer any advice/insight.
I've struggled with C-PTSD, for 15 or 16 years now, due to pretty severe SA trauma as a teen. I was prone to anxiety and panic to begin with, and the SA trauma plus another smaller trauma was too much for me to heal from—I wound up with a severe eating disorder. It was anorexia nervosa restricting type (including punitive exercise, so it always had a "self harming" component, with the main driver being fear of the sensation of living in a matured "womanly" body) and it later become anorexia nervosa binge-eating/purging type. Same eating disorder, just additional bad symptoms.
I've tried many therapies. The most helpful was my second hospitalization because I was committed to sticking it out, getting to a healthy weight, addressing my trauma, and not going back to severe restriction. I did EMDR and it helped with several of my most distressing abuse memories. Some are still bad years later—I still get nightmares—but I'm less likely to be triggered during the daytime, I don't have to avoid as many places/things, and conversations that may have caused the pit in my stomach fear or trapped feeling before no longer do.
That being said, I never got better from my eating disorder. It's a very stubborn one. It somehow still feels like I "need" it…to live, to get through a day, to exist. BUT it causes so much pain, so many additional worries which are huge burdens weighing on my shoulders constantly, etc. I want so badly to escape this, to escape living with this (I am NOT suicidal, I want to live). I just want to live a different life than the one I've given myself.
I was on an SSRI for \~10 years and I do still have a PRN panic medication too (low dose), but I finally tapered off the SSRI because I plan to try psilocybin therapy and integration specifically for my ED and PTSD. ED is the number one thing. I NEED to change. I've done a ton of research and spoken with professionals and friends alike regarding the neurogenesis, treatments and clinical studies around psilocybin therapy for EDs and related disorders. Clinical studies require you to be off medications such as SSRIs in order for the psilocybin therapy to be effective. That, and my Zoloft certainly wasn't helping me recover after so many years on it either. It did have e a numbing effect, so I felt less bad and less good. I didn't do the things that used to be an important part of my life, but that was the tradeoff for keeping panic at bay. I still had bad anxiety, nightmares, disturbed sleep, a terrible eating disorder, etc. BUT I didn't get full-on panic ATTACKS while on the Zoloft. It was a fair exchange. No art, little motivation to do anything other than get through the day (and one passion did stick with me luckily) but also numb enough that I didn't have the deep dread/need to "escape"/trapped feelings and panic attacks.
Now I have them. I'm wondering if it's withdrawal. I tapered off very slowly. I've been fully off the Zoloft for 2 weeks now. I went from 150mg to 125mg, 100mg, 75mg, 50mg, 25mg, and then about a week of 12mg before stopping completely. This was over the course of several months.
| 1 |
Weird hatred to touch
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Whenever mom or anybody else touches me withnout me telling them they can i act very disspleased or even agressivly based where are we at the moment.
This happens even when i see it comming and see its something like holding hands or hug
For example i saw my mom trying to hold my hand idk why rn and my first reaction was to grab her hend with my other hand. Not that kind of hold her hand but just agressivly grab it.
Is it weird or is it just normal thing to want to have control over if people touch you?
| 1 |
Logic vs subconscious negative thought/feelings
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I'm a 35F who has issues with self worth and anxious attachment. From December 2022 - April 2023, I became involved in a friends with benefits situationship. We made clear from the beginning that neither of us wanted a relationship. I still do not want a relationship with this person because he does not have any of the qualities I desire in a serious partner. That is something I am very set on. Thankfully my logical part of the brain still works. I know I am very wise and smart enough to not be with a person that is not right for me.
We are still friends and hang out with mutual friends at least once a week. So cutting this person off completely is not really an option right now. My issue is that I am extremely jealous when I see him talking to other females. I cannot understand why Im so jealous if I don't want to be with him. I do think that since I did not get emotional support from my parents, I never developed self esteem. If I see him giving other females attention, then I immediately turn into a raisin inside. It seems like my self worth depends on the attention I receive from this person. If he gives attention to someone else, then Im no longer good enough or the other females are better. I don't even know how to put this problem into words but it is a very suffocating feeling and I am in a chokehold. I want to feel free and not care about this silly thing. I am completely fine when Im not physically/romantically involved with other people. But once I do become involved, all my insecurities are triggered from my subconscious part of my brain.
I know I need therapy and Im trying to find the best fit. In the meantime, I am currently writing down my negative thoughts and challenging them..
Does anyone have any advice or methods on how to just be free and not care about what this person does in their own life? I need help in seeing that I have value so that I can stop clinging to the wrong people.
| 0 |
What was your doctors advice for YOU if u overslept on seroquel xr?
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NOT asking for medical advice for myself. Want to know what YOUR doctor did FOR YOU if u overslept on seroquel xr.
Thanks!
Im already on trt and a stimulant... btw.
| 1 |
I’m depressed with suicidal thoughts what do I do
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I (22M) have been depressed for as long as I can remember. I’m an idiot and understand nothing because I simply don’t care to. Ive always felt like life isn’t worth living because I can’t understand anything. I’ve seen multiple therapists to no avail. Psychiatry medicine does the opposite and makes me have rampant suicidal thoughts and crying every night. What do you guys think I should do? Am I hopeless?
| 1 |
How do I get help for my brother?
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My older brother (30M), has a few issues he needs to figure out. He lived with my parents and I. Recently, his PlayStation account got hacked and he had every account linked to that PlayStation so everything was gone. (Pretty dumb to have your bank and everything linked to your game console but okay)
He came home from work already drinking and he freaked out. He was screaming as loud as possible to where our neighbors up the entire block heard it and every dog was barking. He was yelling how he was going to k1ll N****rs and k1ll himself and other people. He was slamming his head into things, punching himself to the point he was bleeding, and cut himself with a hobby knife. He was covered in his own blood. He also kept saying “it’s the only thing he has to live for” (his game)
He grabbed an extension cord and was saying he’s going to hang himself.
My mother said “not in our house you aren’t” and he shoved it into his back pocket and attempted to leave the house covered in blood, screaming how he’s gonna harm himself and others at the top of his lungs. Police had been called by a neighbor and they had already driven by. My mother called his grandparents who raised him to come pick him up.
I got the cops to go away because our grandfather has cancer and is under enough stress so we did not want him to see my brother go away in cuffs.
He shoved my mom out of the way and she grabbed the cord out of his pocket so he couldn’t harm himself or others. So he fought back and said “get off me skinny bitch I’ll k1ll you” and I tackled him to get him off of her. The police rang the doorbell and my father and I went and got them to go away again.
Grandparents arrived and immediately began to make excuses for him. He’s needed therapy for a long time and they have never taken him more than twice. Never again because he threw a fit so they coddled him and let him act out.
He constantly makes Facebook posts about how he wants to “finish his album so it can all be over” (eluding to suicide) and things like “the human race needs to be exterminated” etc.
My sister, mother and I want to get him help because we know his grandparents won’t do it. They’ll continue to let him go unchecked and make excuses for him. He’s living with them and his uncle and his family. To my knowledge, he has no access to firearms although my grandfather does have a couple but he’s made them accessible to him and himself only, so I’m not concerned about that. At my house he did have access to an AR15 which I legally own, and a Glock which I also legally own. He no longer has access.
And he no longer has access to our home because he surrendered his key. We didn’t kick him out, it was kind of an unsaid thing that he needs to get out.
He is 30 years old, only relies on video games and the only reason he goes to work is to drink and play video games. He was given an air mattress but never inflated it and slept on the floor because he believes he doesn’t deserve comfort because he believes he isn’t worth it. He consistently complains about how miserable he is despite getting everything he’s ever asked for and has been coddled his whole life. He never tries to improve his situation.
His grandmother never held him accountable for anything and never taught him to grow up.
She also used his Asperger’s as a crutch for everything and taught him he can get away with things.
I’m tempted to call the police, and show them his Facebook postings and getting him help that way.
There’s no mental health services around here he would voluntarily go.
I just don’t want to hear about him in the news harming people because he can’t grow up.
What do I do?
| 1 |
I feel so trapped
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I feel as if I can't possibly write it all down. I feel trapped in a situation I shouldn't be in. I feel like I've made too many mistakes and fucked up my life to the point of it being unrecoverable and I'm not even 21
| 1 |
Do I have an eating disorder?
|
Let me preface, I love food. I love eating, but I have to meet certain conditions to be able to eat. If my kitchen isn't clean, I won't eat. If my meal will take longer than 30 minutes to make for just myself, I won't eat. If I don't have something playing while I want to eat, I won't eat.
Then I have little quirks for eating. My utensils can't touch my food before I do. For example, someone decides to make me a bowl of cereal (idk example???) and they put the spoon in the bowl and it touches the food before I physically use the spoon to eat, I will get a new spoon. I am extremely bothered if this happens and I compulsively can't stop myself. Also, my foods can't mix. If they do I just kinda try to separate them, and if I can't, I just avoid it. Since I cook my own food now, I don't really have to worry about that anymore, but it was a problem when I was younger.
I have other examples, but I just can't think of them right now. It's really just conditions have to be met for me to eat. I also have a habit tracker to make sure I do eat, otherwise I will forget.
| 1 |
I think its more than just intrusive thoughts
|
Sometimes if i see something violent, or watch true crime or even fake crime, or get angry
I have violent images pop in my head and violent 'impulses?'
I dont actually *want* to do them but i feel like eventually i will. I dont know why.
Theres just this sinking feeling that one day i mgiht act on these.
I got frusturated at my mom a min ago and i had a knife in my room and my mind kept poping violent things in my head and so i took my knife, went outside, and threw it on the roof so i could never get it, so i could never hurt anyone.
TW SELF HARM: (idk how to put spoiler)
I am going to hurt myself now, to punish myself.
I use to have intrusive thoughts 24/7 a few years ago. Everything ttiggered it, got so bad i couldnt even eat or drink or look at myself or hug anyone or be too close to people out of fear of hurting someone.
| 2 |
How to Stop Anxiety Chest Pain
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I have anxiety and depression. Im medicated but im still filling this horrible pain in my chest 5 or 6 time at day. What do you do to make thos easier? 🙏
| 1 |
What do you do when you’re feeling lonely?
|
Looking for some advice on this
| 13 |
Most cost effective way to get therapy with no health insurance? FL USA
|
^
| 1 |
Why does it seem like nowadays hardly anyone is both compassionate and pragmatic when handling mental illness?
|
I find this frustrating. On the one hand, there's the group of people that are excessively harsh and view us mentally ill people as useless morally defective degenerates, but then there's also the polar opposite that tends to be aligned more with antipsychiatry or neurodiversity\* movements and seems to think that there should be absolute freedom to the point of chaos, kind of not understanding that society is a thing - it may be a social construct, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It's not a tangible object but the abstract relations that form it are based in consensual reality. And I mean, I don't want to even imagine what life would be like in a post-societal world.
In case it matters, I'm a 29-year-old gay dude with borderline personality disorder and generalised anxiety disorder officially diagnosed, but I strongly suspect (and the jury is still out on) bipolar II and dyspraxia also. I own the fact that my BPD-related behaviours can make me hard to be around and I try my best to make myself easier to be around, and request that others assist (usually this simply means being a bit more patient and empathic) if they are able to, but without putting their backs out to do so.
\*Big caveat RE: neurodiversity: I've seen good talks by Temple Grandin and read other good articles and such making an excellent case for the idea that "We need all kinds of minds". I whole-heartedly agree. But the people that are leaving me frustrated are those that seem to insist that no behaviour that they (or others with their condition) do is pathological. If what you are doing (e.g. some kind of stim, to stick with the example of autism spectrum disorder, although this could apply to any mental disorder) is damaging to yourself or others then it probably is pathological. If it is only \*irritating\* to others, then sure, go ahead and do it, but be cautioned that others' predictable irritation in reaction is likely to be a consequence of you engaging in this behaviour: as such, it could cause considerable problems for you and it may well be pathological.
It's almost as if mental illness takes place in the complex interactions between an individual and society, rather than being located exclusively within the individual or exclusively outside of them; the individual and society both have needs, boundaries, and capacities.
| 1 |
My husband is so mad at me for not letting me kill himself that he says he is considering leaving me so he can kill himself in peace. Please help😰
|
He has tried to kill himself 6 times in the past by overdosing but I have been able to save him. His hearth did stop for almost 3 minutes after one of the overdoses but thank god we live next to the hospital so it only took me less than 3 minutes to get him help. He is so fucking pissed at me for keeping his meds in my safe. Says he will leave me if I don't let him die but him leaving means he will find a way to kill himself. He does have a therapist he sees weekly and a psychiatrist he sees bi-monthly but his meds are not doing shit right now. The root cause of his depression is trauma and they refuse to give him trauma therapy because they say he isn't ready but I don't think he will ever be truly ready. What should I do? Other than keep him alive ofc.😇
| 40 |
numbness ? [TW]
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Im abt to turn 18 this year, and im clean for 2/3 months from self harming. It's been going on for 4 years and now im clean. I can't believe i could get to this moment, im very happy with myself and don't ever wanna go back to that depth of hell. But then idk what happened, since last week when i look at my old scars i feel like i want to do it again, i want to relapse. i want to feel it, the kind of euphoric feeling u got when u that blade cutting your skin and seeing that blood gushing out. I want to feel. Idk if i feel numb or my life is that boring until i want to relapse by choice. I havent actually relapse , but the urge is strong in me- i dont want to do it bcs i know 1 slit could lead to another and make me go in the same cycle as the past years. So i think i will try to control myself , but if one day my urges win.. then we know what happen- ._.
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Bad thoughts are gone with meds but new thoughts are also bad and a lot more convincing, need advice
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I failed a suicide attempt about a month ago, in response my doctors introduced me to some new medication and I've been a lot more stable. The issue is, the meds made me numb to everything either good or bad, I barely have interest in anything anymore and when I do I just can't do it. Games? Nope. Movies? Boring. Gym? Meh...
It's causing me to feel that living is pointless, and despite not being as distressed and suicidal as before, I'm feeling like death really isn't so bad. I've been trying to get my life together, but even when I see some results, It doesn't *feel* like I've accomplished anything. How can I deal with all this? Sorry if it's confusing, I don't even understand it myself to be honest...
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I need help
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I have been suspecting having a mental illness for a while now. Please help me. I can not see a psychiatrist/therapist or anything.
Some of the reasons why I've been suspecting this is because I have abnormal mood swings. Anything slightly triggering, like someone scolding me for a small thing, and I self harm. I have abandonment issues as well. I had a friend ghost me once, and I started to blackmail them and act all toxic towards them in order for them to 'stay my friend'. Sometimes I have days where I feel super depressed and then something that's even slightly happy makes me feel really excited. I always laugh at things that aren't that funny and I get really angry at the smallest things. Things like my family using one of my pencils without permission kind of small. I can not control the urge to spend money sometimes. I recklessly binge eat and buy snacks. Sometimes I spend ten dollars a day on snacks that cost $1.50 each in the high school cafeteria. Am I just overthinking shit or is something up. One thing to note is that I'm not suicidal, and I've never contemplated before. Also I'm 14, so that is why I can't see a psychiatrist on my own.
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i dont know what to do anymore
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im 15. ive been struggling with mental health problems for about 3 almost 4 years now. ive never been the sanist person but i usually delt with things and moved on wirh my life.
in January 2020 i tried to take my life for the first time. i had just turned 12 a couple months ago. i swallowed pills and i hoped it would work. i went to sleep with the aim to never wake up again. that of course didnt happen. from that point i trued to kill myself every couple of weeks for the next 2 years. it never worked. i tried cutting too deep, slitting my neck, overdosing, throwing myself off a ledge it never worked. ive never been hospitalised for anything. i dont feel valid. i just guess that i 'got lucky' as some would say. after the first attempt i started to self harm more and more. my arms, neck, legs now covered wirh scars. jt was always bad but i just feel empty and that theres nothing for me. i still had friends going through these rough patches a couple years ago. i still had dreams and hopes and motivation for stuff. my mental health was no where as near as bad as it is now and i coped in heavier ways back then. my life was alright. as of now im in a relationship i feel like is ruined, i have no friends, no motive, no hope, i just wanna sit and cry. ive not attempted for a while. i know it wouldn't work. i havent self harmed either, i dont know why but i know doing it isnt going to help. my parents think im happier. im 15 doing drugs, i smoke weed most of the time, i had a bit of time where i was doing mdma and not spacing it out, was doing lines before school to deal with it. i dont have anything to look foward too. im so lost with myself i dont feel real. my boyfriend is havily addicted to a lot of shit. hes starting to go out more and more. i have strict parents so im only allowed out 3 days a week. he first said to me if i didnt want him to go out for whatever reason he would understand and it would be fine. ive barely asked him to, but i did the other day. he had a go at me saying why do i have a problem with it, and i felt guilty and like i was being overly controlling so i agreed that he could go out on the basis he promised to stay in the next night. well the sane thing happened 4 days in a row, with him guilt tripping me to let him out. i dont know whether i love him like i used to. im so tired of arguing with him. he gets annoyed when i want him to stay in and call like once. ive called him multiple times crying my eyes out and he still didnt cone back. i dont feel like he cares. i buy him so much stuff, hes never brought me flowers, chocolate, a teddy or anything or even written a note or made something or picked flowers for me. we've been together for 9 months. i love him so much but i feel like our relationship is dying. ive tried talking to him so many times and we end up arguing and he says i dont understand him. i dont because he never talks to me. we have sex every time i see him. i feel like sometimes im there just for that, or just for him to show affection to. he constantly goes out with his ex something i said im uncomfortable with. its not them 1 to 1 but they have mutual friends and we are all in a gc together. i always see her post pics of him and vids. it upsets me. ive explained everything so much, nothing changes. i literally have no motive for school. i have my music composition due in 4 days, havent started it, we were given a couple months to do it. my parents know ive been struggling. i got really intoxicated at a family party and i told him i wanted to kill myself. he said hed get help for me, we tried to go to cahms, they dropped me after one session. my dad promised hed find me a therapist, that never happened. i feel so alone, like my feelings dont matter. but i dont really feel anything anymore. im so numb, i just want to get high and stay that way forever no worries. i dont know how to cope and ive written several suicide notes this past month. i feel like im going to do it pretty soon. ive lost/am loosing everything including myself. i wish i wasnt like this anymore. i hate myself.
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Fear of Hell is gone
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I’m laying in bed right now reflecting after my faith deconstruction. My mental health has been good for a while in terms of not being suicidal. I haven’t been extremely suicidal since winter I believe. But I just realized a big thing stopping me from pulling triggers was my fear of hell. Now, I’m grateful for my lucky life but I’m afraid if I ever become suicidal again… what will keep me from doing something I can’t undo without that fear anymore. I fear death but only because I want to achieve things that I think I can do. But what if my mind gets darkened and I feel I have no hope like I have before, it won’t be anything holding me back.
Can anyone relate or at least put my mind at ease?
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I cannot rest,but this isn't about insomnia.
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I think I just need to vent,but this is exactly what the title says,I have to keep myself enough mentally busy or else I'll have a breakdown.
I don't know why this happens,but whenever I have nothing to do my brain manages to bring up things I did when I was younger,meaningless things,and makes them appear enormous and extremely heavy.
It's either questions,or just memories of small lies I said to my friends,or even just things I might have said but I'm not sure and I just have this anxiety,guilt and fear bottling up in my chest.
It can go from very small things like "Oh,at 15 I said this thing in a fight with a person I don't even speak to"
Or things like "What if somebody is out to get me for something I don't know I did"
I usually have the urge to go back and re-read all the chats that I feel like could be problematic,and overthink them untill I realize they actually aren't such tragedy (usually I realize after I calm down from the crisis)
I don't have any disorder asidre from adhd,which I assume is not related,and I really doubt this is as bad as a disorder.
I've suffered from panuc attacks in the past,from 11 to 14 kind of,due to bullying in middle school,y'know the usual stuffs a kid that age might experience,nothing exctremely surprising.
And I still don't fit in very well with people my age,I think because of both covid isolation and the fact that I actually really feel like people sense my struggle.
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i don't know anymore
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i dont think im depressed. but im so tired all the time and i always feel like im on the verge of tears. but i dont have any reason to be sad. but im just so tired. i cant get any work done. i would sleep the entire day and wake up to feel even more tired. i cant focus on any of my internship work, college essays, summer readings. i cant afford to slack anymore. im not even a slacker. im at the top of my class and have a prestigious nasa internship at 17. but lately i have been feeling incompetent. messing up the smallest tasks and all the words blur when i do research. im also so angry. idky but im so annoyed at family and friends. they didnt even do anything wrong. why am i this angry at them? ugh idk what's wrong with me anymore.
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Try this Visual Exercise and see if it helps 👀🚀✨
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Dear amazing people,
I would like to invite you to try this visual/imagiNATION exercise and see if it helps in any possible way!!
Imagine youself as a SPACE ROCKET 🚀 having all types of weights around you all types of mental health related issues like anxiety, depression, anger, or any type of insecurities and what not (you name it) and taking off from the land to a certain height above the earth's atmosphere and after you reach certain height you will understand that whatever wiegths you carried is necessary to "IGNITE YOU" to the place you are now, since you are here now you no longer need it and you cannot go higher with this around you.
Take one brief moment to replay the memory that weights you "one last time" and once you are done replaying say DISENGAGE after replaying each one of them one by one.
Once All the wiegth falls down (aka as you DISENGAGED) every single one of them.
OPEN YOUR EYES and enjoy the beautiful view of our beloved earth from there, hope you will be able to see the BIG PICTURE now! REVEL in the beauty and intake and breath in to that breath taking moment to your life.
Remember whatever you went through helped you to propel to where you are now, without them you will never would have experienced this view!!
Take a moment to appreciate how those things served you in best possible way to reach here and NOW moment. Pay your gratitude towards it.
The placed from your propelled is from your HEART
The place you are now from where you DISENGAGED is from your MIND.
By doing this you had not only released your burden but also enjoyed and experienced a beautiful view but also created a BRIDGE between your HEART and MIND forever!!
ENJOY YOUR JOURNEY!! BEYOND AND ABOVE!
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Separation anxiety?
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I am a 14 male and every time I go to my nans who is very close to me, we have the best time but when I leave and get back to my parents house in the night I have to like cry myself to sleep, so I just don’t know what it is it’s like a panic attack like I am just there crying and hyperventilating so yea reddit help.
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Most relateable
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The hypocrisy of being human ,the constant tug between solitude and Company,the desire to love so desperately and simultaneously be detached from it all ,of wanting everything and wanting nothing at all.
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I can’t eat please help
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So recently my anxiety got and I started feeling that I was going to choke on my food. First it seemed like it was just anxiety and I had to eat slowly and carefully. Then I started having nightmares when I woke up thinking I was choking on something. Then I got a physical where I’m eating food and it’s getting stuck in my throat every single time. Then I get to the point where I am choking every single time I try to eat food. Went to see a doctor Friday and they injected me with some steroids and muscle relaxers. I’ve been taking liquid ibuprofen because I can’t swallow pills rn. At this current moment I can only drink fluids I struggle with apple sauce and mash potatoes but sometimes can get it down. I have lost 6 pounds in two days and I feel the lack of nutrition is messing with me. I’m not sure if it’s completely anxiety or if it’s a physical problem so I’m gonna try to get in with a gastroenterologist but it’s Sunday so I can’t get an appointment in yet. I keep crying and freaking out it seems like this will go on forever.
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I’m not sure what’s wrong
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Lately, every night before bed, I get this strange almost gut wrenching feeling. You know that feeling when you think your girlfriend might break up with you or that feeling after you’ve had a fight with a loved one. It’s a very similar feeling but nothing is actually going on. I feel weak in the stomach and light headed, lose my appetite, and find myself overthinking and sometimes begin to shake. Music seems to help a bit so I’ve been trying to feel asleep with music but I just wish this feeling would go away.
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recently, I've been feeling grateful.
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My current mantra is "Smooth seas don't make good sailors."
Life's had a lot of ups and downs the past few years, but during a time of self reflection, I've come to discover how much better I am now as a person and a father.
Still a long way to go but I'm getting there.
I'm seeking therapy for my problems, I'm in a relationship with the most amazing person, despite their flaws, I couldn't be more in love.
I have a new job and while it's not great the career prospects are way greater than my past place.
I'm still struggling daily with my mental health, but I'm finally taking the steps I need to, to help myself rather than relying on my loved ones.
At the end of the day without my struggles I wouldn't be the man I am today and wouldn't have the life and loves that I do.
I'm actually somewhat grateful for the trauma, I don't think I'd be half the man I am today without the lessons learnt from it.
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Still have problems after touching myself (19y male)
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Sry for bad english and venting in advance
Im used to this feeling ..after masturbate i feel exausted and distant...for as mutch as i think positivly it still hurts that i did that...
Like...this last two days i didnt masturbate....spent time with famaly, friends and was a sweet time i needed for a long time now...college had drain me up the week before so spending time with those i love was more then great...i came home feeling rejuvenated not thinking of watching porn or whatever...just purely happy that i was feeling conected to things again and loving that im alive...
So i spent some time in call with a friend on discord then gone to sleep when felt like it...sleept amazing well and woke up refreshed...but with a silent urge to masturbate...the urge grew trough the breakfast and all so i did it...now yeah...regret...that loving feeling is foggy i have a giant headache(alredy had one bc i hitted my head the day before but got extremly worse)and unmotivated again...i have how a move of suposely self love makes me always feel so deestroyed
Is there a way besides resting that i can numb this feelaing or go back to how i was?i have stuff to do but is hard to work like this
Ty very mutch for ur attencion u all i wish u a blessed day
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what happens to the brain/body when you haven't had the will to live in weeks?
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its kinda different than suicidalness, instead of having breakdowns and making plans, no will to live for me is i wake up just to get through the day, i haven't laughed in weeks, im fine with dying 24/7, theres nothing to hold on to anymore, the reason that im not dead yet is there havent been quick methods available, and im too lazy to walk a long way just to get to the method.
i noticed the pigmentation around my eyes have become darker and my reflexes have slowed down by a lot. anything else?
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I don't see the point in asking for help
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I'm too scared / embarassed to even asking for help. Or I don't see the point in it. You expose yourself just to recieve 2 o 3 comments saying something super general or everything always ends in "go see a therapist". I went to 5 different therapists and none worked for me. I can't anymore.
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How do I stop the overthink loop?
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To keep it short: I am currently totally overthinking a situation. For normal people I don’t think this is a case where you would overthink this much. Anyway: do I have impact on this situation if i would do anything? Probably yes. Should I not over rush it until Monday? Yes. Do i have the worst case scenario in my head? Hell yes.
I just slept 2 hours this night, because my head won’t stop thinking about it. Nothing helps to stop having this thoughts. And I know it is not helpful to overthink it like that, why am I’m not enjoying life until the situation is really there? No, I keep destroying my days, even weeks before it even happens.
How can I stop to have this overthink loop? My head already hurts and I’m really bad at calming myself down…
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What happens when you don't deal with trauma?
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Like, you never deal with it. You just ignore it.
Does it go away? Or does it creep up all of a sudden??
I'm only asking this because I know many of my cousins have been sexually and physically abused by other family members and refuses to acknowledge it. Even their mum (my aunt) dismissed their abuse and calls ME crazy. They have never addressed their abuse and they just ignore it. I tried to talk about the abuse to them and they dismiss me. Saying I'm delusional and so on. (My cousins have jobs, own a car and a house).
I just want to say, I don't talk to my cousins anymore or my aunt. I cut off my family 8 years ago. My cousins know, but my aunt insists that I still live with my mother... I don't get it (it's not a hidden secret or an open secret. I don't get it).
I'm just wondering... What happens when you never addess the trauma that happened when you were a child? Does it go away, or does it creep up?
I'm only asking this because I've always wanted to deal with my trauma and heal. Get therapy and so on. Yet, my family refuses to do that. But I know they have the same trauma as me.
So, what does happen?
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Narcissist mother
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Yesterday was my birthday (f 41) and my
Mother (62) had initially called me during the day to tell me Happy birthday, (I live 8 hours away from her). As I was getting ready for bed, she calls crying saying how she feels so alone, her husbands daughters visit him and she doesn’t have her kids with her. My sister is No contact 10 hours away and my brother lives in the same town but is unstable and consumes drugs. So while she’s crying I’m just listening, I can’t feel sorrow for her. I genuinely cant because as growing up I was neglecting by her. She says she tried her best of providing everything but what I needed I never got which always emotional support, understanding, willingness to repair, engaging with me about my aspirations…. We she did have time to do this but she preferred to engage in a love affair with my stepdad coworker and neglecting my myself and my siblings. Dropping us off at her friend’s house using the ruse to see her lover.
How awful is that? But I’m not going to touch on that with her because it’s going to led to other hurtful subjects.
I know she’s a narcissistic mother. Every-time she visits its grueling because she critiques how we live ( we have pets), if my teen kids don’t answer in a way she likes,
How they looked at her funny…
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Terrible memory and overthinking caused me to maybe become distant
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First off: I wanna say I'm sorry if this is poorly phrased and alot but I don't really have anywhere to go to anymore and I'm just feeling really bad. So any response is appreciated
I hate how much of everything I've forgotten :((. Ever since maybe late 2020 my memory has genuinely become super shit
I read a few old messages I had and I feel really bad. Its like when anything, anything at ALL I quickly forget it except for the fact it ever happened and I feel terrible. Events that can only be 1-3 months ago feel like over a year ago. There were so many good and fun things that happened and yet my brain kept fking being mean to me and it makes me upset. :((( like why am I like this?? Why can't I just feel like I used to?? I've had alot of special moments and fun conversations my friends and i just like.. forgot about it as hard as i tried not to as if it never happened and I feel terrible about it, its not that I want to at ALL and it makes me feel so terrible. :(( I kept overthinking and my brain kept telling me terrible things that aren't the truth that I convinced myself of and I don't feel close to anyone at all anymore and haven't for a long time. I don't know how to stop this:((( I feel terrible about it and it's making me wanna cry. I had so much fun and so many things happened with alot of people and so many enjoyable moments that just drifted off so fast in my memory and I don't know why. I don't feel like I know how to be a person and this is all so hard to explain
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How do you stop hating yourself?
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I literally hate myself so much and I don’t know how to stop
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Emotion Rescheduling?
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I've come here seeking validation I suppose? I tried looking online (albeit i didn't look very hard) to find what I'm talking about and didn't come across anything even a little bit similar... So I come to reddit seeking other who do the same thing in hopes of not feeling like a freak show. 😅
Anyways, since I was probably like 7 or 8 (so for roughly 20 years) I have done what I call "Emotion Rescheduling". Where I take a feeling that I don't want to feel and reschedule it for another time. Like, if I am sad about a memory, am on the verge of tears, I will simply... Stop feeling it till a later time. Usually I would reschedule those things for like the next day early in the morning before I do anything. But for the really big and incredibly deep emotional moments I will immediately surpress and avoid at all costs... Until I surpress one too many times and everything comes out at once and I'm unable to keep it in.
I wanted to know if anyone else does this? If you do... What do you call it? How do you break yourself if this habit?
Thanks in advance.
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Inherited depression :(
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Its just kinda fucked man lots of people are born to people who shouldn’t really have kids. If you’re not in a good state you shouldn’t but it seems many do
An ugly truth
Don’t breed
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How do you work while heaving mental health issues such as ptsd, anxiety and depression?
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I’m 25 this year and I’ve had a fair share of a traumatic childhood because of my parents. My father is a drug addict and my mother is a narcissist. I’m struggling to hold down a job or even start on one because of my anxiety. I also feel so lost and I’m unsure what im gonna do with my life. I’m married and I’ve been jobless since march. My husband has been incredibly supportive but now we are running low on savings and I just need some advice.
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This one’s a doozy
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So as a 33 year old male I struggle heavily with abandonment issues. When I was a kid my mother would always leave me with random people I didn’t really know. When I was a tad older like say around 12/13 she’d go away for weekends and leave me at home by myself. She also went to Florida which at first said was just a vacation but then turned into, “I’m gonna stay down here you can live with your father”. No as a adult I have issues with commitment and confrontation. Is their a pattern with abandonment their. I’ve never went to see a therapist or anything like that I’ve just dealt with on my own. Plus now I have 4 kids and I don’t want them to not feel loved or wanted, obviously I love them to death but theirs that feel of disconnect that I hate. Any suggestions or ideas
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A note on text crisis line 988
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It's better to call if you want actual support or have questions. The text line has started using bots. I have screenshots from the messages. I understand this group doesn't allow attachments, but I'm raising this issue here because this is a potentially very dangerous practice. Make sure you're getting help w a live person if you're feeling suicidal. Good luck.
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How do you become self-aware in an angry/stressed state?
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**TLDR: I need a trigger to become self-aware enough to know I'm angry and that I need to fix it on the spot.**
I researched some grounding techniques but the problem is that I am unable to use them when I'm angry or stressed. I grew up in an angry and stressful environment, so these emotions feel natural to me and I don't think twice about responding in a harsh or cold manner when talked to. And in extreme states, my head will be in a haze, and I end up saying whatever curses or thoughts I have in my head.
I try to avoid people or wear earphones when I'm angry to cool off but that's a short-term solution, especially since I live with family. Even if you're wearing earphones, they'll still talk to you.
Hence, I've been thinking that I need some trigger to make me realize that I'm feeling angry or stressed right now and I need to fix it. I was thinking maybe I could wear a necklace that I will assign as my "anger realization button" that I could "press" or fidget on.
I'm up for any suggestion as long as it's legal lol.
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I don’t even know a title anymore
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Have had mental health issues in the last year due to array of things. My stbxh asked for a divorce at 19 weeks. I completely lost my marbles sadly. I’m overly stressed that someone saw me like that. He’s completely over the relationship, but it’s killing me inside. This is the first time he’s helped with the kids since he left so I can take care of the baby in the nicu. But I don’t know how to not love him.
My postpartum depression is severe this time (expected). But I wish I could get to the point that I can just hide it completely. Which sounds horrible because I really need to talk it out. But he doesn’t talk back about our relationship at all. It’s just ignored. Which is understandable. He’s hurt. I’m hurt. We are hurting my kids and our baby emotionally.
My anxiety drives at night to the point of having SIs and I just wake up thinking about suicide. Yesterday I wrote notes out to him and each of my kids.
It’s like I have my normal inner dialogue I talk too with another voice arguing with it to die. I have a plan, I have intent: but I still don’t want to hurt them. But I still want to die which doesn’t make sense. I’m taking the meds. It takes 3-4 weeks to fully kick in. But I feel horrid that I even involved him at all.
I wish we had talked about more issues before we got married and had a baby. We had the big things planned out (kind of) or knew what the plan was. But even then we sat in counseling together and both of us just needed to learn to communicate with each other especially during high conflict times when we were both stressed. Why didn’t we clear his questions up? Why did he bring it up then? How do you just flip a switch to unlove someone when it took us a year and lots of conversations to make sure we made the right choice? Like he talked to his best friends wife for a while before opening to me about his feelings even though we had kind of talked about it on and off and him worried about four kids and managing them.
How do you unlove someone in the matter of weeks or days? How do you not communicate your problems to your partner? How do you tell someone you love them every day and then just say never mind?
I really just wish the night he asked for a divorce, I just let him go.
Or the night he got trash drunk and didn’t show up for movie night with the kids and I lost my shut cause he said he was on his way and never showed up.
Or when he actually got drunk and then drove to the store.
Why couldn’t he ask these all or question me before the marriage? Before the 2 years he sat on these.
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(f19) What is wrong with me?
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I have two different personalities. One is feminine, caring, happy, joyous, and loves music and humans and being in her own body. The other is distinctly masculine, morally ambiguous, extremely hateful of all human weakness, driven to success, and who's only purpose in life is to make others stronger and happier (to make them break free of weakness). I have felt this way since 4th grade, when i discovered transcendentalism. I have always felt like an alien in the masculine headspace, unable to be human or relate to any human.
I have discovered this masculine half was created as a trauma response/coping mechanism to my childhood of lonlieness. As a child i was hellbent on taking over the world by force, and saving humanity by either improving their lives or burning humanity off the face of the earth and restoring nature's balance. I feel like i am better than every other living being and that I am here solely to advance and perfect our species.
Words cannot convey how this mindset has affected me. It has cost me a lot of happiness and peace. I just want to know if any of you people have a name for it! I don't think I am narcissistic or psychotic, but please let me know. Meow.
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Mental Health & Social Anxiety
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Hello, does anybody know of any websites or apps that provide a daily activity to help with mental health and anxiety. Giving me something to do or work on each day seems to help me improve and gives me something to focus on. Just little things such as: Sit in the garden, try and walk outside by yourself, write a journal etc. Just some daily activities for me to do is what i'm looking for, so if anybody knows of anything I would really appreciate the help. Thank you.
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I don’t know who to talk to
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Last 10 months have been really hard for me. I’ve been feeling really depressed. I can’t concentrate on anything. I can’t eat properly and putting on a smile takes so much energy. Because of that I have fucked up college which put me even lower mentally. Talking about this is extremely hard for me. I feel like I only have 1 friend I can talk to (3 years ago we used to have feelings for each other). She has already had a girlfriend in the meantime and I was okay with that because I was over her and we were best friends. But since about 4 months ago I fell in love with her again. All of this has got me even more fucked up and now I don’t know what to do. I really feel like she’s the only person I can talk to but it feels so silly to bring up my problems and mental health first and then tell her I’m in love with her again. I don’t know how she would react to that and I might risk to lose my friend. I don’t know what I would do without her. Does anyone know what I should do? Really appreciate the help.
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Have you ever felt too exhausted to even vent?
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That is my condition now. For a while I have become apathetic in almost every situations normally people would expect some reactions/emotions. But today I feel terrible. I'm too tired to weep, too tired to vent or share. I don't think I'm a living soul anymore, just an empty shell trying to get through the day.
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Why alcohol works for me this way?
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When i’m sober i am very extroverted, confident and have a good sense of humour, i don’t get embarassed or never fear to talk to strangers. When i have had even couple of drinks, i start feeling like another person and completely aware of myself… kind of feeling like ”any other person who isn’t the special one anymore”.
i start to doubt my words and actions, i get shy, and feel embarassed to be drunk and understand that it’s not ”real me”. I also get anxious because i think i’m wasting my time not doing anything productive.
So overall, alcohol makes my personality so different and i don’t know why. This is the reason I don’t drink a lot anymore (i am 18 so i haven’t even get used to drinking… 18yo is legal drinking age in europe btw)…
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Struggling
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This might be a long winded and confusing post. I am a 26 year old male and since covid and isolation I’ve been struggling. I used to be confident and not have a problem with social interaction but after 2 years during covid and isolation my self confidence and pride have hit an all time low. I live by myself and was still required to go to work so for two years straight the only social interaction I had was in a professional sense. Now I shake when I’m social situations. I have suffered from major depression before and feel it all coming back but even worse. Tonight I tried to go out with my friends and I got chatting with a girl who I thought I hit it off with and she led me on just to get with different, more confident guy (I understand that this isn’t the end of the world but I purposely put myself out there and just got fucked over). Usually my escape is songwriting as a musician but I’m at a level of low that I can’t figure out how to get out of. The world tells me a man should deal with their problems but I’m struggling to figure out how. I feel like I just lost everything. Even people closest to me are telling me I’ve lost the one thing that made me who I am. I feel most comfortable by myself which experience has taught me is a bad thing. Just feel like the world is giving me a huge “fu*k you” and whenever I try to better myself I get pushed right back down.
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I get nauseous looking at his socials.
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hi
I am just curious if anyone else ever has/or still experiences feeling physically sick whenever they looked at their partners social medias. for me I just get really nauseous and shaky and I've always been unsure why. I get physically sick to the point I actually almost vomit and I shake uncontrollably (it's worse than it sounds from just those words) I just wanted to know if anyone else deals with it or has delt with it and how they solved it. thanks.
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I don’t feel nostalgic or miss anything
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I, 20 F, moved to Canada for studies when i was 18 & while many of my friends talk about how they miss everything back home or how they get nostalgic, i do not feel that at all. I have in fact never felt like that. I do not feel nostalgic about my childhood or my school/high school days like most of my classmates talk about. I have had a pretty amazing life, i have in fact lived a life full of fun.
Why could that be?
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Always worry about pains and even small pains stop me from working or always think about it:(
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hello. Why am I like this? Now I have felt pain between my shoulder blades for 2 months. Even small pains acute moderate makes me worry about "What is this becomes chronic?! What if...? I always think about it. I hate pain. Why I went to work that was not suited me and I felt pain. Why?! and many whys really annoy me:(
I went to PT exercise last session was dry needling now the area where she did dry needling is painful. Now my mind is there why I allowed them to do it. Pain between shoulder blades is not enough this one also added!!!
hate hate
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Going on 3 years of wanting to die
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I'm 16 now and I've wanted to die since I was 13. I've attempted suicide once in September 2022 and I kinda wish it had worked. I just don't really see it getting better anymore. I'm not gonna attempt suicide again anytime soon, but maybe a couple years from now. I don't know what to do anymore. it feels like ever since I could first think rationally, I've been depressed. Maybe it's just something that's gonna stick with me forever.
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It's like I don't care about anything
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In a bad way I mean. I'm stuck with my life and in a very deep hole and I'm like I don't even care. I don't care about myself. I don't care about anything. I've always lived like this. I don't see the point.
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is eating a lot of soap a mental health issue?
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i’ve been eating soap for a long time and i eat a lot of day (serious) should i be concerned for my mental health? (please no judging i need a serious answer)
| 18 |
I keep blocking them
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Hey I have episodes whenever I get down I block my family like all of them just specifically my family and anybody close to me. Why is this? I know this sounds like a stupid question but im really trying to understand my mental health.
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